#who cares wtf that paragraph actually says but it got me to the point where i knew where my character was At | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mysterylover123 · 3 years

Text

BNHA Chapter 294: The League of Hotness is Blasting off Again

mysterylover123

Oh god look at all the damage though. (Is GT still alive?)

Oh God Deku do you even have arms anymore?

YES IIDA. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU GOTTA SAY IT. Also is Bakugou’s hero name that entire line? Aoyama couldn’t have “I cannot stop twinkling” but he can do this? That’s some hax right there.

OH GOD NO. Kacchan if you really die this arc I’m gonna kill you.

Oh god Touya looks in bad shape. And Toga’s still crying. Holy crap the league really did take a beating this arc.

Spinner’s doofy face here is distracting me from the pathos of the moment.

HOLY EFFING SHIT the Totally Metal LOV strikes again! (Hori what do you have against arms, huh? What’d they ever do to you?

What do you mean your turn? You kidnapped Bakugou, dude. You blew up that car, took one of Overhaul’s arms...you’ve had plenty of badass moments!

lOL MLA you think you’re part of the squad? It’s the Core 5 from now on!

HOLY CRAP he wasn’t kidding with that remark a few weeks back. He really is related to someone important! I read this theory a week or so ago so I guess I got to theorizing just in time.

Also I guess this means from now on every single Secretly Related theory is just gonna be canon. We can call it. Bakugou is now related to Muscular, Momo is somehow related to both Overhaul and Shigaraki, and Deku’s dad is somehow simultaneously All for one, All Might, Dabi and Endeavor (don’t ask me how that’s supposed to work). Literally every related theory, now totally true.

OH GOD BACK TO THIS. WTF do you mean ‘sorry’? “Sorry bro I’m not gonna kill you today, I know you’re disappointed.” Do you think everyone has as much of a death wish as you dude? Also Shoto screaming his name is giving me feels.

I honestly can’t tell who just got burned alive by who here. i think Dabi burned shoto? but the art is a little vague. Anyway what do you mean can’t break him? You JUST SET HIM THE FUCK ON FIRE DUDE. Though his face appears fine. because he’s a bishonen anime boy. His face is made of effing titanium. Also wow, he can’t do it unless Endeavor is watching? Huh. I still have no idea what to make of this sibling dynamic. I think Shoto still sees his Big Brother, though its hard to say how well they knew each other if at all; Touya seems to have some weird affection for him (depending on how last chapter’s dialogue can be interpreted) but also wants to kill him. I guess I interpret it the same as how Azula feels about Zuko or vice versa. Like it’s the Zuko resentment of “she was born lucky, I was lucky to be born” and the Azula motto of “I’m gonna kill you but I also care enough about you to help you through your angst in the Beach”. (wow I gave like a whole paragraph to the Todoroki Fam and like nothing to anyone else. You can really see where my priorities are)

Ah, no Compress! I never thought you were just a background character! I just figured your backstory would come eventually. Also now that it’s out and you’re officially a Fleshed Out LOV member, which Class A kid are you planning to sign on for as your archnemesis? I think Momo, Jirou and Tokoyami are still available, Everyone else has one! Get on that!

OMFG LOL

So yeah I guess the entire LOV is officially hot now. Yet another addition to the League of Villains Shirtless Scene arc. Compress being like “I’m tired of being the only LOV member without fangirls/boys, I want my share!”. Anyway damn it looks almost like he’s been cut in two in this panel. Are you dead or something dude? Like “I’m gonna reveal my backstory and strip but then immediately die”? Dude we already lost Twice, possibly Gigantomachia, the doc, Kurogiri and the MLA members too, are we seriously gonna lose another villain?

OK well that was a fast chapter! Not a lot went down really but we finally got Compress’s backstory, possibly just in time for him to die, and it looks like the LOV is actually escaping now. Which means, with the “Last Stage” title, that this arc is almost over! Well, that makes some sense, since it seems like everyone’s had their moment. Everyone ‘cept Iida and Spinner actually. Quick you guys! Renew your nemesis vows real fast and then we can call it a wrap! Also DEKU AND KACCHAN AND TODOROKI HAD BETTER BE FUCKING OK. Like HOLY SHIT at this point I’m not sure which of the Wonder Trio is more Should be Dead. (Also all the pros in that angsty montage, holy crap.) I’m not sure how I feel about this arc ending here, since it feels like we’re still missing a bit of closure (watch the next chapter kill off someone important just to accomplish that and break my heart) but hey, if this is where the arc closes out it does seem fitting. Everyone got a moment, hero society is properly in shambles, and the entire LOV all have backstories now!

206 notes · View notes

shimmershae · 3 years

Text

Some, okay a lot, of pre-mid season (tri? season) finale thoughts. As if you actually asked for them, lol.

And no, I haven’t actually watched the last episode yet. I’ve been putting it off all morning. For reasons. Reasons that I felt the inexplicable need to put on paper, er, screen.

If you care at all to read the purging of my fatigued TWD fangirl mind, please look beneath the cut. Fair warning. It’s long so pull up a chair maybe, lol.

I’ll admit it. The spoilers indicating a significant lack of Carol/Melissa content has dampened much of my enthusiasm and there wasn’t all that much to start with.

Let me tell you why--

The season, so far, has been woefully unbalanced in favor of the Reaper storyline and the Maggie/Negan conflict (which ties back to the Reaper storyline by the flimsiest of strings) and I’m just not invested.

Why?

Well, it’s multifold.

#1 reason why? Having a third of the last season ever of TWD devoted to going inside “the lions’ den” of villains I have no emotional connection to or curiosity about is a big fat fail.

You might say “but there’s the Daryl double agent” aspect and I say “so fucking what” because it was so poorly conceived and has felt like such a WTF set of fraying puppet strings for this plot Angela was apparently jonesing to tell from the GO, damn the torpedoes she had to know where inevitably coming her way.

Seriously. I had talked myself into accepting that which I could not change, citing Daryl’s emotional brokenness after Rick. Convincing myself he’d lost his anchor to goodness and hope and fulfillment in his years of self-imposed exile from Carol and what was left of his family and to a certain extent? I can still by that explanation. But really. It’s the Leah of it all.

Let me attempt to explain.

To do that, maybe I should detail how I’ve always perceived Daryl.

Daryl, IMHO, began this journey with us and the rest of Team Family with a figurative fortress erected around his true, core self.

He was prickly. Defensive to any overtures of kindness because he inherently did not trust them. Loathe to form any real connection to anyone other than Merle, his blood.

Daryl balked at the possibility of emotional connection and flinched in learned fear from physical touch.

He did not recognize or accept affection or respect at face value because it was something rarely shown to him before.

Anybody else remember that childhood abuse book from Consumed? You know. One of those first times the showrunners/writers dumped a character nugget in our laps and left it to us to do all the backstory in our own imaginations so they didn’t have to enrich their own characters beyond the scratch and sniff, wham bam this is who they are work?

Anyway. We were left to extrapolate from that what most of us h ad already suspected--that Daryl’s formative years were already a living hell before the ZA ever happened.

So he was standoffish. He didn’t form emotional connections lightly and physical intimacy was something light years out of his comfort zone.

Until Carol.

Daryl’s defenses started to crumble from the very start with Carol because she piqued his interest. He looked at her, watched her withstand Ed’s abuse, and recognized something of himself.

Against his will, Daryl started to care and when Carol lost the one good thing that had come out of her miserable life with Ed--Sophia--Daryl’s core identity started to be revealed to us and probably? To himself after burying it so deep for so long.

Long story short? Daryl connected with Carol pretty quickly on a base level through the trauma of Sophia’s loss.

The real connection, the emotional work it too to peel all those protective layers away took more like--like planting a flower from seed and tending it to help it survive and flourish.

Simply said? The work was put in and Daryl bloomed with Carol’s (and Team Family’s) care. They all put in varying degrees of work but Carol planted the seed of his “belonging.”

And the thing about Daryl? Once he bloomed? He grew strong.�� He stretched toward the sun.

He and Carol essentially bloomed and fought their way toward the sunlight together.

And little by little, Daryl learned to accept the kindness, trust, and love he always deserved.

From that newly confident man emerged a Daryl not so fearful of forming connections and none have ever been more powerful than his connection to Carol.

I’ll spare ya’ll the paragraphs of how Daryl and Carol gravitated toward each other like magnets no matter the means of separation.

I’ll just spell it out like this: their bond supersedes all others, even Daryl’s bond with Rick. And with Daryl only accepting affection from those he trusts implicitly, Carol and Daryl have been the only potential “romantic” pairing that has ever fully made sense for his established character.

At least the character before Angela launched the grenade of Leah into the mix.

Leah was a fail from the start.

And you know what? I’m thinking that was largely intended (for various reasons) but I still think they could have shown Daryl as receptive to having a “romantic” relationship to those willfully blind to the possibility that he’s actually been in a “romantic” relationship with Carol since Season 2. Never mind that Carol and Daryl haven’t (yet) crossed certain physical boundaries yet. Emotionally? They are already there even if neither is able to admit it out loud with the actual words yet. But I digress. The people that never wanted to “see” Carol and Daryl as “romantic” because they couldn’t fathom Daryl as seeing Carol in that light had already deemed that Daryl just didn’t feel that way about her, that maybe he didn’t feel that way about anybody (if they couldn’t have their way and have him feel that way about their preferred choice for him, they preferred him alone), and Angela wanted to show them differently. To show them the light.

That said, if Angela was so hellbent on doing Leah? There were a multitude of better ways.

Here. I’ll give you one of them.

Daryl isolates himself from his family after Rick’s “death” same as he did in Angela’s version.

Carol’s been being pulled more and more to the Kingdom because Henry’s needing a mother figure is like catnip to her hurting natural-born, hurting Mama’s heart. So Daryl’s anchor to the man he’d matured into, the one with all these earned emotional attachments, is reeled back in, little by little, leaving him unmoored.

Dog literally runs into him just as before. It hardly makes sense given how young and floppy and uncoordinated puppies are and thus vulnerable to danger, but this is the least of things we need to worry about suspending disbelief for right? ;)

Dog and Daryl continue to have these run ins until Daryl decides to retrace the puppy’s clumsy trail and viola! He finds Leah’s cabin and Leah inside. She levels the same shotgun at him, they have a standoff, until---

Leah suddenly lowers the gun and incredulously says Daryl’s name.

That’s right. One simple change and Daryl and Leah have an undefined past already.

Daryl doesn’t completely let his guard down because he’s Daryl, but he relaxes enough that we see he doesn’t immediately regard Leah as dangerious to his own well-being.

From that point on, instead of tying Daryl up and threatening him, we could have been told the story of how they knew each other from before.

My version goes a little something like this--

Daryl met Leah through Merle. Merle, in turn, met Leah through the military before he got discharged. He and Leah had an ongoing “I scratch your itch if you scratch mine” thing and Leah? Well, she always had a bit of a soft spot/interest in Daryl that Daryl never really returned.

The thing is, though? With losing the chosen brother that filled the hole left behind by his lost blood brother Merle and losing Carol to her chasing after a chance of a new family (because she feels Daryl’s out of her reach too, our too blind and stupidly, silently in love idiots)? Daryl finds himself embracing the shared memories however minimal of that brief past and his grief and loneliness leave him receptive to Leah’s eventual advances in ways he never was before.

We’re still given hints of their unfolding relationship and we still don’t like it, but it makes more sense for Daryl to cling to the past when he feels he’s lost his future.

Leah still gives her ultimatum (there’s a reason she gravitated toward Merle in perhaps his most toxic state, she’s more than a little fucked up too) and it’s not as much of a hard sell that Daryl might be pulled in Leah’s direction when he feels Carol is all but lost to him.

Hell. They could have even explicitly discussed Carol. But wait! Angela would have never allowed that because she doesn’t want to shatter all the crackship dreams in one fell swoop.

But the story from that point on could have continued just as it has and probably I still wouldn’t have liked it but I could have at least bought it somewhat and understood it.

Obviously, it didn’t.

I don’t buy the Leah of it all. Angela built that “relationship” with monopoly money and it shows.

Because I don’t buy Leah period. I don’t buy Daryl giving even giving a shit about trying to or feeling like there’s a snowball’s chance to redeem her so I’m not engaged whatsoever with this Daryl double agent story and him even givign her crumbs about his real family.

That part rings false.

So that’s a big problem right there and we haven’t even gotten to the other part I don’t buy.

You know what else I don’t buy?

#2?

Why the hell are the Reapers so bloodthirsty for Maggie’s departure from this mortal coil?

Without giving better reasoning than they’re just cray-cray, the entire faceplants and considering it’s taken up about 70% of 11A’s focus? I’m pissed.

Because, IMHO, they should go big or go home on this to give it any entertainment value because it’s all stale, recycled air if not.

Maggie’s been established as a much darker character this season. Which led me to believer the Reapers probably had a legit beef against her, but it seems Angela is reluctant to go all that way down the rabbit hole and doesn’t want to commit to what could be a more entertaining and potentially fascinating story than just Maggie’s in the right, the Reapers are just evil.

Maggie is right about Negan, IMHO, but she’s also wrong in not listening to him when what he’s saying reeks of simple common sense. Ignoring sage advice makes her seem more like an angry toddler stamping her feet in defiance than the leader they are so bound and determined to tell us she is.

You know what? The window for me to give more than the half a fuck I’m giving right now as they beat this dead horse to dust closed when Maggie decided letting Negan rot in the ASZ jail cell was enough and spared him when she finally had her best chance to end him once and for all.

Maybe if they stopped having the same damn conversation and they didn’t take up 20% of the screen time left after the boring Reapers/Leah shit, I would be less resentful but I’m not and again, I’ll tell you why.

BECAUSE. We are in the last season of the OG TWD ever and this show has chosen to waste screen time on stories nobody cares about to the exclusion of the ones we’re yearning for more of.

Like ASZ. We’ve barely seen more than an hour of the eight hours devoted to Carol, Aaron, Rosita, Lydia, Judith, Kelly, Jerry and Co. in total. Especially since they’ve been trying to establish the Commonwealth on the side, too.

I mean, I never really expected to dig the Commonwealth so my expectations for it were lower than low so they’ve been exceeded at a miniscule level. But I expected and hoped for ASZ and those characters we’ve cared the most about to receive much more emphasis and the fact that they haven’t in this last season so far has been the biggest FAIL.

And okay. Selfishly, I want more Carol. She’s like salt. She makes almost everything go down better.

But really. Give me more of all the characters we actually care about, please. The Reapers and the offshoots from that story wheel aren’t it. I love Daryl but I hate this retread story for him. Leah is a weak point that pressed upon? Makes this weak ass arc collapse. Maggie and Negan are giving us nothing new. They are the definition of the word STALEMATE and that’s not what you want or need on the finale season of a show.

Yes, I have enjoyed the majority of the episodes overall, but that was because the moments I loved I weighted more than the ones I didn’t and know they have the most impact on the show down the road.

Probably 11A will fare better when all is said and done and the show can be binged but standalone? It’s been an overall disappointment and that saddens me more than I can say.

Anyway. I’m going to stop rambling now and try to psyche myself up for episode 8. I’ll be back with thoughts on it later, maybe.

Sorry for the word vomit, but I felt maybe I could in someway give voice to some of the feelings floating around out there and let you know that you are not alone.

Until later, lovelies.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #Shae's thinky thoughts #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

9 notes · View notes

pippuns · 2 years

Note

!!! I would like to tell you a little about Oak if you'd be okay with that!!! She's the shortest of the warriors of light which she's salty about ("Only five foot eight" >:/) and the only real way to tell she's still technically a juvenile viera other than the squishy quality her face has yet to entirely lose is the fact her ears are still FAR too big for her face, she's fervently praying she'll grow into them soon which... well she'll grow into them more but she's also just a viera with large ears so F in chat there buddy njkbh

She gravitates towards thaumaturgy and the Warrior's path for different reasons, but also uses both as a method of processing emotions; Oak isn't an angry person but she's someone who's been so deeply wronged that she still carries that anger, and she doesn't really know what to do with it. She can't put it down, she's moved on from those who put it there to begin with, so what does she do with it? Channelling it into something productive is the best way she's found of lifting that uncomfortable weight in her chest. She also just does really well with thaumaturgy due to the gift her echo gave her, namely really good aetheric tracking - she's incredibly gifted in recognising people's aetheric signatures across long distances, and has real talent when it comes to both curses and enchantments.

Lastly, while she doesn't resent the protectiveness of the other wol's and finds it pretty sweet actually, she is very quick to point out the hypocrisy of it especially in Kou's case - mostly because Kou is 1. very close to her in age considering Oak's a few months older than Alphi and Alisae, and Kou's only about a year older than them due to timeline edits I make for my story 2. a massive hypocrite about accepting any sort of protectiveness themself which she thinks needs to change and 3. Oak just got into the habit of trying to piece together Why Kou does the things they do early on when she still didn't really trust them; Kou gets antsy when people look at them as a person too much and Oak spent a lot of time in Ul'Dah and so values honesty and getting a read on people. They didn't gel well at first, until Oak actually started getting parts of the real person Kou was behind the mask, which is where Oak started realising Kou being like this was probably something to do with the role they'd been playing for so long now. So since she's starting to care about this overbearing lizard by now she's made it a point to reassert every time Kou expresses misgivings about how young Oak is, that yes she is young and yes she'll be extra careful because of it but also... Kou you aren't even a school grade older than me. You shouldn't be taking on all this shit either we are Both doing things here that are wildly inappropriate for our age groups. It is how it is. We're just the folks who Can

and a picture of She I drew a while back!! her ears are a lot fluffier but I was still figuring it out lnjkbihu

thank you again for letting me infodump on occasion in your inbox I'm sorry it always turns out so long it was only meant to be a paragraph klnjbih

I AM MORE THAN OK WITH THAT

i was gonna say "omg so tiny!!!!" and then i read her height and now i need to lay down in my bed and think about how unfair it is that so many ffxiv characters are so tall. wtf.

HER EAR TO GOT DAMN BIG FOR HER FACE!!! thats so adorable

i really like how you described her anger though, fucking baller dude. we love black mages in here, this is a black mage support blog. the aetheric tracking is really cool though!!

oak president of the kou support club real??? love that for her. i think kou should get a break.

#SHES SO CUTE WTF #THE ART OMG #PATS HER HEAR #oak #ffxiv #other wols #long post #kou #art

5 notes · View notes

thecrenellations · 3 years

Photo

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Three: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 6-14 and “Alyta’s Missing Earring”

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Two | TaT)

Contents: Elephants, guesses about gods and dead men, villain team up, the unexpected, AAAAAAH, elaboration on the word cloud above (which is one big Gen, medium Pheris, medium love, and scattered other names), and more quantitative analysis! I love this book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Chapter 6

285. unkingly moment, last night with her at home

MISMATCHED STOCKINGS (I have a thing about this.)

Wedges of ribbons?

285. cute

286. a pitneen? A drunk bird?

Wait. Gift of animals??? Did he steal the thunderbolts wearing it?

A canary no longer

287. Hilarion and Ion, wow

Throw a cup of wine on me

288. War pants! War pants!

What’s Attolia wearing?

Sophos! (the whistling!)

288. Ok fine it’s gonna be sad ... I say as if I didn’t just experience the trial (the last lighthearted moment)

Pepper!

Be careful Pheris

Also Relius went to Dite and Juridius, right? (I was convinced Dite would show up)

Sinerine!

290. SOCKS! Yay <3 magus

I was resigned to not much magus but he is HERE!

He’s … so much nicer than he was to the kids in the Thief, lol

A CART!

Lamb, falling in same paragraph. Worried.

Gen :( Gen you ran all over the palace and leapt in the water last night. You are so stupid.

292. Yay Sophos I love you

Math buddies!

294. I’M SAD.

They have had this convo before

I love them

It’s because I can that I think I should

295. Do not overreach. Eddis is right

Danger in self indulgence?

I love her! “I was outside chasing your brother with a stick”

296. My heart. You have to trust yourself. I don’t know if I can. Then you have to trust us.

Tactical Irene!

Thanks I’m gonna hold on to it: “The Call of life is a s powerful as the call of death, and it is no weakness to answer to it”

297. Oh no. My children. Tell each other things like that!

Great time to be childish, Gen.

Yeah honestly. It’s bothered her FOREVER

299. Pull it together, kids!

Thx Helen

Inkpots … :( :( :(

Chapter 7

302. See … that Continent occupation isn’t good either!

303. Unfortunately that is NOT an alternative. Bc volcano.

305. This is stressful.

Chloe, interesting

306. Elephants

Oh my god it’s better than I ever could have imagined (there was like 10 years of lead up to the elephants, and I thoroughly enjoyed them)

I love him

Gen wtf

Yes drink up those guards (“We could keep [an elephant] in the guard’s bathhouse! There’s plenty of room.” “And the guards will bathe ...?” “In the palace reservoir.” “Our drinking water.”)

#6 Gen about elephants

308. This is gonna be a disaster

Hilarion with an eyeglass

Fuck Pheris is making this up.

Gen I love you

Oh my god

Honestly idk if Gen is having fun but I AM

They’re. They’re such a power couple.

Also Bu-seneth is so rude to Attolia

309. so vague about battle, but I’m sure it’s horrible

310. hero talk. Chills.

311. all the woman comparisons for Gen (“Would [a world with no war and no heroes be a bad thing?” “That’s a woman’s question”)

Wow. Interesting. Anonymity

312. Don’t listen to them Gen!

Bad tempered cooks

313. lol. Good looks.

Gen. the hand joke. Why

Well that was … a scene (I don’t know my Henry V)

Reassuring to have a glove. Which one?

314. No. Bad. This is what I was afraid of. (Nahuseresh baiting Gen with Kamet)

Ok Pheris

315. That cannot be true. (it was not!)

Gen. No. No.

316. Wow. That worked out well. So far.

They called him annux. If Kamet is really dead…

319. Yeah Attolia is RIGHT

Yeah I can’t actually either!

Irene knows. In his story!

320. Glove resolved very fast

Interesting reversal (Gen and his dad)

Maddening!

Chapter 8

322. who’s charging off in a haze of glory now

Philologos wounded

Wait, the attendants follow him in to battle...

Cleon RIP

Temenus <3

No. Stenides

If they ever returned.

His brother died in an explosion

Gen’s tears

This is sad.

323. lion lamb :(

325. At least they have each other

Morality is an illusion. Like safety?

326. that’s what Costis was mapping, right? (nope)

How many has Gen killed now

328. Who. Pol? Ambiades? (The cairn man question remains)

Oh no

Oh no. you can fall from a horse

HILARION!

Is Fordad a spy?

I am just not accepting this yet

WAIT THE MEDES TOOK HIM! (I thought the Attolians had taken Gen, or Gen’s body, at first.)

330. wow things only Pheris can do

GDI Erondites

WOW THIS IS A VILLAIN TEAM UP

332. You gave it to him dude (Nahuseresh asking “Why does he still have this?” about Gen’s hook)

I love Gen. I wonder if he’s afraid.

This is bad.

Whose treason, whose betrayal?

333. Yeah! Kamet said so (“Tell me again that you are king.” “Annux, if you prefer.”)

334. Oh god.

Get your stories straight bastards

Rolled in a rug!

336. Oh gen

Oh god

Yeah this is …

Be careful what you ask for

338. What did he sign as, though, Attolis? Eugenides?

Nomenus wtf

What does mwt have against facial hair (Fordad, Nahuseresh)

Costis please come (idk how I thought he was going to help, but I was in Costis Denial and expected him to show up at any moment)

Everyone must be going through a lot

A face like an open grave

Gen.

Gen I love you

YES

Is he … invulnerable now?

Gen what.

Is he possessed? Is he already a god?

341. Yeah same. (“I think he meant that I should not fear him, either. I did, though ... I still followed him”)

This isn’t being self indulgent or overreaching, is it?

342. RIP Ion Nomenus

“My work”

Oh Nomenus

Does he just exist for the morally gray and loyal angst feelings? It works (...)

344. What did he DO

Yes! Swearing Gen!

345. love all caps Gen

Those names

Aaah

346. Ooof.

Chapter 9

347. moon promises

Yeah

Noooo Philologos :(

Legarus … :(

349. Gen what what

Sparks

Costis? Stenides? STENIDES?

Wow ok he killed Bu-seneth

350. god

See I said Nahuseresh shouldn’t have said that

Also is Gen a bastard

351. WHAT (“Because your council had just voted to kill him”)

Oh Helen

Oh Irene

Does he invite him in?

This is reassuring to the reader (“He can bear his god a little while without losing himself”)

Aaaaah Galen

354. Gen that’s a lot. A lot.

Don’t kill everyone.

So so so x7 of doom

Bye Yorn

I hope he wins too

Go away Nahuseresh

Omg

another fall

Interregnum

Ok it was Lader (when you don’t know who the man at the cairn was, keep on guessing!)

Yeah the circumstances thing is back

Oh god

Oh no

Chapter 10

361. how long has it been?

362. three days

I love them (Elephants! My excellent queen!)

You promised to trust him

364. Oh no. Oh no. (Relius)

370. These Helen convos…

371. Sad. :(

372. Emtis and Lader

Yeah.

Omg

374. Wow

Steal by elephant?

377. Don’t forget about Dite!

378. He’s gonna kill him?

379. Is Dite dead too?

Oh Sejanus

Oh I see

He’s got a mercy taste too

380. Switching!

Lying in moonlight. Hm.

381. Yesss

Nooooo

383. I’m nervous

Gods blessing on your road

Wow. <3

They would have fallen… (if Pheris had gone through with his plan, that’s how they both would have died)

Did not expect Sejanus feelings in Rott.

Chapter 11

386. He’s gonna know. But the trust.

Ion knows.

390. Gen…

Pheris is Lyopidus?

I’m scared

393. I kind of love Ion

More Sejanus, bring it on

I’m nervous

Hmmm… who could it be

395. MoW :( <3 I will not be ok if he dies too

Gen knows the way bc Costis (nope)

Oh my god these two (“I lied” “I know”)

Chapter 12

398. Oh no.

This is not

Her Thief

Irene. “only sleeping” this is what Eddis said to her

But mist… water???

Face touch

402. not living or dead. King

Yes. But no.

403. crying at everything and the MoW next to him

There he went

It was the Eddisians. He fought with them.

404. yeah that’s a lot to deal with, Pheris

405. what a mystery man (Sejanus)

Lol mysterious exit averted

Excuse me that was a difference

406. :(

Am I king

407. Helen is once again right. She’s also always right

MOIRA was Melisande???!??!? (who even knows)

409. ?? Irene?

Same as for Dite. Man loves his brothers. (nephews. you know what I mean.)

Nice.

AAH yup. Add it to the list (“How neatly you tie them together” ... the list of is ways Gen and Irene are becoming more like each other)

410. speaking of which where is Costis!

Hm… what god was that

I love their reactions

411. SPLENDID.

Oh Irene. It’s true <3

It’s so true (“When the king gives his heart he gives it completely”)

Now I’m crying again, at them

412. Gen, she has a point.

Amazing. I … I don’t think she meant to ask like THAT

Jesus, Gen.

You do not know a wagon from a wheelbarrow

413. Irene!

She’d better get home safe.

Gen!

Omg

414. I have another bad feeling, about Gen

415. High king or queen though?

Magus <3

Chapter 13

416. “of course”

That’s ominous

417. No! Sejanus!

A gut wound yikes

418. sadness

419. lol “ill will”

We’re in Roa. My heart’s pounding.

422. I love Gen.

YESSS

Yes I love them.

Sheep.

Kamet!!!

?!?

Costis. Mattresses exist.

424. Oh no.

426. roof dream

Good roof dream

Good job Helen

428. TWINS. Everyone was RIGHT

Reyatimi

Oh shit. The sky.

Oh dear. :( aaah

430. Climbing the rigging!

“it’s just that you have so many least favorite things”

431. I love them (Gen and Irene)

432. I love them (Gen and Helen)

433. RIGHT! I was thinking

I can’t <3 (they’re naming the baby after the MoW, and it’s perfect, and she’s not gonna tell us, huh)

OH MY GOD!!! (baby thief!)

WOW!

434. AAAAAAH (Hector! @threetoadswaltz finished reading before me and knew that I would explode about this and I DID, I threw my arms in the air! HECTOR!)

PERFECTION!

435. AAAAAAAAH (this was when it became clear they were going to dance on the roof)

Yes she was (as surefooted as the king)

Is this the first time she’s Irene

Yes.

I’m filled with happiness

Celia and Lavia again … lol.

Lol Chloe

THALIA

CRENELATED wall

HE’S ALIVE

Kamet is a sweetheart

The gods!!!

The gods!

Aracthus

Mystery goddess?

Ula?

Moira! Yes!

(I was very happy. The page itself:)

Alyta’s Missing Earring

Wait. Was it Alyta.

Glad we got a bi god (with all due respect to Immakuk and Ennikar, whose bi-ness and godliness is perhaps more up to the reader)

Got very bi very fast

Also. He’s Gen.

Interesting difference in story

Kathodicia!

Are we literally getting ALL the answers? (No. But so many more than I expected!)

Gen’s grandfather sucks

An urn huh

Omg. Heiro’s earrings?

Oh my gosh.

Same, Gen. Same.

Obvs Phresine knows.

Is Phresine a goddess?

Same, Gen. Same.

She got to tell a story! She is so happy!

I think he’s a little scared

Moleskin

Yeah peace huh

This series is socially sanctioned silliness

1000 Eugenides. Wow.

They did melt though

Little thief.

<3 <3 <3

He’s a character in a story

A big question

Tamarisk? Takima? (We are not getting all the answers.)

That’s it! Thank you for reading - it feels very self-indulgent to type up all of these, but I will honestly take most chances to relive the intense and wonderful experience of reading this book for the first time, which often means looking back at my own notes and sometimes means sharing them with people. Also, I really love reading liveblogs/real-time book thoughts, so here is one from awhile ago ... all at once.

Anyway, check out this word cloud from all of the notes (made with this site):

It’s ... mostly just character names, with a variety of words that express my enthusiasm and feeling (love, lol, wow, yes, excuse me...). Gen is the biggest because I said his name 115 times! Here are some totals for the other characters who came up a lot:

115 - Gen (and 10 Eugenides)

42 - Pheris

26 - Costis

18 - Irene (and 6 Attolia)

16 - Helen (and 8 Eddis)

10 - Sophos (and 4 Sounis)

12 - the magus

11- Kamet

11 - Teleus

10 - Relius

9 - Ion

6 - MoW

6 - Moira

5 - Sejanus

These don’t fully represent how much I had to say about them, because I didn’t always refer to people by name or title ... which kind of explains why Costis’s total is ridiculously high compared to how much he is in the book - I likely have more notes about other characters, but I didn’t need to bring up their names because they were already present in the scenes I was taking notes on (for example, I think I talked about Relius more than Teleus, the magus, or Kamet, but many of those just referred to him as he, because it was obvious to me who I meant). But also I was just looking for Costis! Anyway. My use of names and titles for the monarchs also really illustrates how much this book reshaped the way I think of these characters’ relationship to them, Gen’s and Irene’s especially.

It’s representative of my feelings about this series that I wrote “I love them” about so many combinations of characters. Who, exactly? And how many times? Well...

5 - Gen and Irene

4 - Gen and Helen

2 - Gen and Pheris

1 - Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos

1 - Helen and Sophos

1 - Costis and Kamet

1 - unknown combo of Gen, Pheris, and Relius on p.166, I love them all and can’t remember. Kamet’s map was there, too, and I do love Kamet, so maybe he was in there too.

no matter what the numbers say, I love them all endlessly, and I love this book.

be blessed in your endeavors, yes I will take any questions about these notebook screams, etc.

#annotating this caused me to look back at so many scenes i will never be over #aaah #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #return of the thief spoilers #rott spoilers #something i #hey #threetoadswaltz #i tagged you because i mentioned you but reading this is not Required #you know it all anyway. ... this time ;)#it was just your exploding comment

12 notes · View notes

docholligay · 3 years

Text

LIVESTREAM WINNERS AND TOP POINT COMMENTS

THose of you who read the schedule already know this but the winners are:

HOLLIGAY INVOKES THE SPIRIT OF CLOSET GHOST

and

WE COOK FOR DINNER IN THE APOCALYPSE

Please join me for both! It’ should be a terrifying, thrilling time.

AND NOW, THOSE OF YOU WHO MADE ME FEEL THE WARMEST. Thank you to all who answered--I know this was super self indulgent and it means a lot to me that you took the time. So, literally 12 out of the 13 of you got at least one point (One person did not give any details, or even a quote) MAZEL.

Point allocations are below!!

One point winners:

4(?)ish years ago, you sent Jet a series of letters/cards/funeral lilies, from different Sailor Moon characters. The lilies were for Mako. One card was from Michiru, after Haruka's death. I have never been able to find them again, but I just loved the care you put into them--how they were all written specifically from the character, the fact that you even put tear stains and perfume on the cards. It was just so creative and touching, and it felt like the characters were real for an instant, mourning and living and giving you a peek at their lives. --- @kumeko (That was A Little Letter, and Mako’s was actually a separate thing for the same contest!)

“Before you get yourselves killed I want to go on record as saying this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.” Rei stood with her hands on her hips at the front of the garage- from that short story about Mina and Haruka strapping an engine to a shopping cart. You can really feel how rei must feel, the resigned exasperation mixed with genuine, but hidden, concern for Mina and haruka’s safety. I think i have said the exactsame thing before people i know do stupid shit. --- BeefSalad33 (oh ma, an oldie but, I think, a goodie)

OH MAN. I am always thinking nonstop about that piece where Minako confronts Seiya about bullying Haruka, specifically for the line where Mina spits out "you think she'll love you for this?" and UGH that LINE. it HAUNTS me, I want to BITE DOWN ON IT AND NEVER LET GO, I WANT TO PUT IT EVERYWHERE EVER BECAUSE IT HURTS SO GOOD, AND I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT SEIYA. --- @wouldntyoulichentoknow (I’m so glad that I’ve managed to make both you and jetty grit your teeth and care about Seiya at some point ahahah)

"*But flowers grow from death and decay, don’t they? That has always been true, you know that, Mako. You are a rose of perfect beauty, grown in the rich fertilizer of your loss.*

She threw the stress ball across the room, knocking over the cup on the sink, spilling the ice down the drain."

The contrast between reminding herself of how life works, and then still being bitter about it, and knowing what she is and being frustrated about it. It's a lot, when sorting out various issues- i have trauma, and that makes me better at empathizing with people, i'm adaptable long-term, and that means i can put up with some bullshit, that kind of thing, but that doesn't mean those are wholly good things. It's nice to see it put into words, and so plainly, and with such a strong reaction of it.

Roses can still grow wild, as pretentious as that sounds with how your passage resonates to me, but it's still nice to feel that. ---- @katrani (I’m so glad it resonates with you! I liked that line a lot! )

2 point answers:

Christmas Carol, Stave 1 - “You are a terrible person,” she jutted out her chin, feigning strength. “Fareeha deserved much better than you. But,” she took a deep breath. “I still hope she forgives you, someday. Someday, I hope you will deserve it.” It feels like cheating to use the most recent thing you’ve written, but nonetheless this section conveys so much about your take on Mercy, so quickly. She may be an idealist, the peacekeeper and builder, and she may want Pharah to have a relationship with her mother that’s not this disaster, but that doesn’t stop her from acknowledging that Ana’s been the primary factor in making it what it is and telling Ana that directly. I love how you write Mercy (and Tracer for that matter) as very warm characters who try to see the best in their situations but won’t gloss over the fact that sometimes, someone does have to be shot in the fucking face. “Good” doesn’t mean “hopelessly naive”, even with a pacifist, and I appreciate that you have characters who show that.

Bonus, and a fringe case as technically part of the Fushigi Yuigi hateblog: “She was still trying to get home, had been unable to get Tamahome to let her poison him, and then Nakago had hugged her into his chest until she had been forced to flatten him with a punch to the nads. She was tired, she was hungry, and she was trying to have a moonlight bath to consider her options and wash the stink of a man off of her.

And then, Tamahome, again.” - Haruka-gets-dumped-into-Fushigi-Yuugi-as-Yui was a delight that entire episode, but this post was one of the best. Is it really just narrativizing your frustrations with the many, many writing choices that were made here? Absolutely. But it’s a fun little bit of comedic pacing here, especially with the utter exhaustion of Haruka that this bullshit isn’t over yet. (“Fuck my life” to the moon wondering if Usagi could help and regretting how hard it would be to drown herself are close runners-up on that front.) --- Regalli

(Mercy is, in many ways, my attempt to write someone who is MOSTLY a pacifist that I can respect. It’s not easy for me! I often find pacifism to be cowardice, because so often in life the people I know who are pacifists are, well, not the folks in the street. So i thought, could you write someone who is very hesitant to kill, who believes that even Doomfist, even Reaper, even whoever, deserve care if they are hurt, who believes that a sword will not leave her hand free to uplift the fallen, and make her brave? And make her strong? And so was born, Mercy, who proved that, yeah that person, at least in my mind, can exist.)

I think one of my favorite passages from your writing is from "The Rest is Commentary". Particularly the part that starts with "I am a doer. " That entire paragraph is wonderfully written, with mix of beautifully descriptive language to describe *why* you don't trust words. It's slightly paradoxical, but it also fits with the rest of the essay (?) so well. And even beyond that, I love reading when you write about your faith. You are deeply devout woman, and a personal aspiration to me. When you write about your faith, it reminds me that there is work that needs to be done to live it, and not easy work either. But it is very much worth every bead of sweat, and every drop of blood. --- @shavedjudomonkey

(Thank you so much! I love that people have connected so much with my Jewish writing)

3 point answers:

From Requiem for the Great Consummation, I adore the word play with "compose." Ie, in the line, "Michiru folded her hands in her lap and composed herself." Why? I'm a musician. So, Michiru, with her music, holds a special place in my heart. (Why Ami gets the music attacks is beyond me. WTF?) I don't think the writers ever really understood what it takes to be a musician, and while fanfic writers often include Michiru's music, I've never really seen it done well. (I'm sure it has been. I just haven't seen it.) Music is all about structure. It has to feel free and soaring, but it can only be that because of the intense amounts of tension and structure underneath. A kite without a string plummets. When I reach for high, soaring notes, that's when I have to be most conscious of having a solid base. Making music Is constant tension. So, often when I see writers portray musicians, it's all "she never felt so free and untethered as when she sang/played the,violin/piano/whatever." And I think, "wow, really? She must have been Crap." So, back to compose/compose. This wordplay shows that tension. The "I have rehearsed this 5,000 times and am still working so hard I'm sweating standing still in this freezing auditorium so that it can look and sound completely free and easy." This is Michiru's entire life. She is composing herself. She is outlining complex rhythms and tensions and resolutions that even though you hear when the piece is played, you don't fully take in or understand, and all you consciously comprehend is 'wow, pretty.' Because that's how music works. Organs have keys that can't be heard by the human ear, and composers include them in their pieces. Why? We can't hear them! But we feel them. If you look at the score for an orchestral piece, it contains So. Many. Notes. So much going on. But when you listen, all you hear is that melodic theme. But if you take out anything underneath, things change and cam fall apart. Michiru lives her life like that. She creates herself, composes herself, and it looks elegant and free and easy, but it is so so very tightly controlled and rehearsed, and that particular wordplay showed off that side of Michiru's music, which is one I don't get to see explored much. --- @incorrecttact

(Thank you so much for this!! I am NOT a musician, but so much of Michiru and music speaks to me, the structure of it, the discipline, the way it allows you to express yourself while hiding behind something else. And yes! I think of that double meaning so much!)

I want you to know... that this was very, very difficult. I made a notepad and collected shit I'd pulled out from your work where I could find comments where I did such, and then I AGONIZED. Here is where I landed but know it's so close with other things god.

"Winston worked in earnest at his inventions, and Emily went back to teaching, and the two of them began to cook for each other again. Family dinners once a week resumed, grew with some of the new recruits that were being folded into their family. Pharah and Mercy’s daughter took them to the zoo, the park, out into the world. Dva had continued the game they had all been playing before Tracer died, their party picking up after the terrible and well-done loss of their beloved rogue. ***Life did not return, but it grew forward. It bloomed again.***" — A Clock's Fading Chime

I ended up choosing this one because I hate it a little when I read it. Not because it's not good but because it's SO PAINFUL. I love so much about the way you talk about love, and I think grief is all a part of that. We grieve because we loved. The idea of the grief period, especially for those in a close circle of a lost person, being like the cycle of the seasons where a flower may die but life blossoms in the soil it left behind is so evocative and perfect and everything leading up to that last line is the soil for which that line got to bloom. The slow, simple way life returns to them, that they adjust to the heavy rock in their pack (A piece of yours I revisited for this and a metaphor I will always carry with me) and start growing stronger together. And that they find it WITH EACH OTHER too just god, it kills me. But would I rather wish it wasn't necessary? YUP. FOR SURE. It hurts to think about someone who plays Lena's role dying in our own lives and trying to mend the rift between those left behind. But it brings all those possibilities and who may have gone already before to mind because it feels so grounded in the reality of what these experiences are like and shit it's just a great sampling of everything I love about your work. Beautiful prose, saying so much with so little, grounded in stuff that feels read, and ending on a banger, transfixing line. ---- @thoughtfulfangirling

(Thank you so much! I LOVED that whole series of fics around that, as it is in the way that I often like to toy with the nature of grief, and the way that we go on. Things aren’t ever the same, but we go on. And I’m so glad you gt into it too! It’s very self-indulgent for me, basically everything with OW, so I love when other poepl like it)

4 point answers:

Given that I am not Jewish, I hope this isn't overstepping my bounds, but your passover Seder speech really spoke to me this year. Specifically the bits about the relationship between cowardice and metaphorical bondage:

"This is a celebration of our freedom from bondage, but it is a also a reminder, a call that we must ensure we do not, in cowardice, return ourselves to bondage. "

Without explaining too much, and risking the kind of parasocial oversharing that you lamented the other day in a post, this particular push and pull has been at the forefront of my mind this year. The intense gravity that the familiar, the easy, the safe, can have, versus the genuine terror of pressing out into the unknown in search of something better.

Trying to change, and to do better, and to press on, is fucking terrifying, and hard. But, that is not an excuse. And I appreciated the reminder. --- @blastoise-m

(Not overstepping at all! I am so glad that it speaks to you, I really, really love this kind of writing, and I really should get back to doing more of my Jewish writing. My rabbi is leaving, because we apparently don’t have the money to have a rabbi! And he’s readying people to be lay leaders, and called on me to be someone who could give Divrei Torah (sort of like our sermons) because of my tendency to do stuff like this, and it’s very scary! But really exciting as that’s the kind of stuff that had me interested in being a rabbi, is picking this stuff apart and applying it to our own lives HI YOU ASKED FOR NONE OF THIS SORRY)

"There are no beautiful deaths in this world, and am sorry that you must know it. Rei never was allowed to say goodbye. I watched Haruka grow weaker and more ill every single day. We each have been jealous of the other, at turns, but I tell you this truth now: Our lives mean much more than our deaths. You and Seiya had a wonderful love story, and you raised a wonderful daughter, and unfortunately it is very often difficult to finish a story in a satisfying sort of way. It is not the end of your story, simply of hers. For you, it is a new chapter"

I think this is still one of my top 5 fav fics that you've ever written. I still think of it randomly once in a while. It's such a small moment but it sold me Usagi and Seiya in a way never would have expected. It's such a moment of growth for both Usagi and Muchiru. A small moment of connection for two people who are so different.

This is wrapped up in the entire MaS series, which I could never separate from this work let alone this quote. The entire series is a series about love and all its many permutations. About finding meaning in a world when you think your meaning has been taken away. About carrying on when you think there's no reason to do so. And I think this quote really encapsulates all of that.

This story, this entire series, is one the favorite things I've ever read and I'm so glad that you decided to share it. --- @madegeeky

(I truly and in all ways love how much you love this fic, it cheers em and makes me so happy every time I am reminded of it. And thank you for loving that line! I FEEL that line. It’s been true for every death that has come to me, so I love when it has meaning for others. )

The 5 point answer:

"God separated the sky and the sea, and that’s true, but there will always be the horizon where they blend."

I'm not much of a quote person. I'll often remember the feeling or the takeaway but rarely the words themselves. This, though, has stuck with me.

There is so much in this world, and so many people, who see everything as absolutes. Black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. And as I've grown and changed, that has come to bother me more and more.

This quote is such an elegant and accessible way to express how that oh-so-common point of view is a fallacy. And really it's just a lovely line that invokes both lovely imagery and feeling. ---- @seolh

I FORGOT I WROTE THIS, and like the completely arrogant piece of shit I am, when I read it was I was like, “Oh fuck, that’s a solid line.” And yes I am with you on getting older and relizing that the horizon line can be so fuzzy out there, sometimes, and this quote WEIRDLY came back to me when I needed it, a lot, and so thank you!

#names for thing

21 notes · View notes

chemicalarospec · 4 years

Text

Genuinely Don’t Say Anything Interesting Here But I Like Talking So Thus I’m Posting This

okay I did like nothing productive today but have a ramble on youtube fanbases, specifically the new gen of mcyt. This was two posts and then I made it one so sorry when I repeat myself. I did edit it tho lol. But that means I also inserted more, so this is just all over the place now.

me from the future: oh god. all over the place. wait wtf this is so long. I don’t even have much to say I just like writing the same sentence three different ways and refusing to cut any of them. I’m sorry; I don’t know how to edit; this is informal AF. (can I use three semicolons? at least one of those is wrong anyways lol.)

edit: I’m so sorry I forgot about having a “read more” last night laksjdflksjad. Also idk if I even agree with myself lmao.

it’s so funny how mcyt is like The Thing now. It’s not cool to like it anymore lol, cuz everybody does. (This is a me thing. I like being special lol. I also self-define “cool” so you should not take it to heart when I say it’s not cool.)

I mean, just thinking about the Dream SMP as something I *do* want to get into, it doesn’t feel like “our thing” -- it’s has the feel of a HUGE fandom. Seriously, I’m in the phandom, which ngl has been dead since 2018, and the fanbase for the SMP has a much different, bigger feel. Idk what i’m getting at, it feels imposing? looking at the Dream SMP fandom seems similar in scope and slightly in atmosphere to pre-2019 phandom, at least to me, and it’s actually making me grateful that I joined now and not all that time ago.

Also I brought up the “our thing” bit because of the mcr post that goes “funny how MCR seems like our little secret and the biggest thing in the world at the same time” and I kinda thought that was just how all fandoms worked? idk I was going to assert that the truth is different but I thought some more and now I’m not sure.

but yeah I like the “our little secret” feel and somehow the phandom has (re)gained that while technoblade (and the new gen of mcyt as a whole) is loosing it.

I mean, I’ve been watching Technoblade since the bedwars winstreak. He had less than a millions subs but most people I brought him up to actually did know who he was. He was big but he wasn’t *famous* -- we all knew about him and we all cared. Like the only person who knew who he was and didn’t care had a little brother(s?) that loved him (wait why is this all in past tense this is all still true). (Yes AFC this has become a callout post for you mocking techno lol.) (If you’re still reading my miNeCRaFT yOuTuBeR fAnBaSe MEta. cringe culture is dead tho; I don’t have to say it like that.)

Anyways, I didn’t follow Technoblade’s Dream SMP streams and now I feel like I’d just be tagging along if I did get into it. (also didn’t watch SMP Earth lol.) This is because I’m a gate-keeping jerk. Or hate missing out. One of those two things.

(awkward transition where I don’t know how to make my tangent meaningful and have to make it back to the original train of thought I violently interrupted)

As a long time Techno fan, I’m really proud of the growth he’s experiencing, but a little sad too as the community is being -- well, I don’t want to say “infiltrated,” as I don’t want to shade anyone who was simply late to the party -- perhaps diluted? overwhelmed? yeah, overwhelmed by newer fans, and becoming “unmanageable” in a sense; it feels like we’ve lost a bit of our sense of community with the influx of new fans -- no shade to any new fans! This is just the way fandoms work. When the crowd is larger, it becomes harder recognize each member as a person, even if everything else is the same. (”The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic.”) (look this is how my brain works deal with it)

I just really like this small community feel, and it’s a bit daunting looking at the smp fandom.

Also the growth Dream experienced this year is genuinely ludicrous. I mean, the wide appeal of shipping is part of it, not going to beat around that bush, but there’s just so much and I wanna read an essay from a long-time fan who saw it on why he’s got so much growth.

I really hate to shame fans and stuff, but part of it, at least for me, is that most of these new fans probably aren’t “minecrafters” like we were. I doubt the majority of them grew up on Stampy, DanTDM, and whatever the other ones I didn’t watch were. I mean, some of this is because Child. For them, the distinction is really pre-quarantine post-quarantine i guess? Really, whether they played Minecraft or not. Again, I know it’s bad to shame fans, but apparently I’m just a terrible person and I feel like it’s more shallow or disingenuous to get into MCYT when it’s popular without already being into Minecraft.

WAIT that’s it -- Minecraft community, as a whole, is special. It’s a LARGE umbrella of fandoms in general, but that’s the thing: they’re all more communities than fandoms -- from the casual builders to the pro parkour players to those who watched the og youtubers to those who followed the Great Potato War, there was Minecraft Culture.

And the expanded fandom that’s sprung up around the Dream SMP and possibly Dream in general (???) is more of fandom. It feels like a fandom. People treat it like a fandom, they talk about it in fandom spaces, it is fandom, a modern fandom. Not a quaint “little” Minecraft community.

I’m not going to say it’s because of the shipping, but... I have no data but at least I can say that it certainly creates an appeal for Fandom People as opposed to Minecraft People. And then also it’s just a fandom thing so it makes the space more fandom.

Also I realized this is all based upon a feeling, so where did the feeling come from? I was reading in-fandom texts a lot today, and I think the storyline actually might have something to do with it. Also maybe the “talking behind their backs”? I can’t be bothered to remember what I’m comparing to what at this point but that’s definitely done in a lot of other spaces I’m in, so idk.

OH FRICK I’ve mostly been *in* the fandom spaces for real things lmao. (Read: I’m 100% making up everything at this point.)

(awkward transition because I inserted the last two paragraphs later on)

And really, I played minecraft today for the first time in months. But it’s still with me, you know? The memories of being introduced to it, growing up with it. Going to the Nether with my cousins, my uncle’s giant survival mode cathedral. Mojang being bought by Microsoft and everybody hating it. (... me, my brother, my two friends, essentially... how did we even know??)

[I had part about the minecraft.net writers here but it was completely unrelated so it became it’s own post. I should do that more.]

(With every sentence the target audience of this post gets smaller.)

What was I saying? I’ll just wrap up.

TL;DR: Dream SMP fandom feels like a fandom and not a Minecraft community and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I’ve realized I prefer a community feel, which makes me grateful I joined the phandom now. Also I shouldn’t be allowed to post things past 9:00pm.

Oh my god I’m so sorry to all my mutrals. My tired loquacious reflex has kicked in. This is essentially a dan and phil stan blog, and though I know a few of you know what I’m going on about, I’m so sorry to the rest of you.

Well, at least *I* think I’m a fascinating person with interesting things to say hahahahha.

This is like a diary post. Should I post this? Yeah, other people should share my thoughts lol. OH NO: Late-night Tumblr fandom ramble posts are the new social-justice tirade/generally useless blog-like Goodreads reviews. At least it’s what Tumblr’s made for :P.

10 notes · View notes

coasttocoastreads · 4 years

Text

Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy.

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut.

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time. It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that.

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze.

Side Characters: Infinity/5

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them.

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry.

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas.

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again.

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc.

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan.

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

#crescent city #house of blood and earth #sarah j maas #tiffs reviews #2 stars #fantasy #bookblr #booklr #bookstagram #book review #yalit #reading #books

47 notes · View notes

five-wow · 4 years

Text

on to 10.16! the valentine’s episode!

fjdkfdjkfd a very worried-looking woman accepts a valentine’s bouquet and i was like, did she kill her husband and he’s lying on the floor somewhere and that’s why she looks so awkward about it? and then there’s a BLOODIED HAMMER and A BODY and i was probably right, omg, i love it.

oh! looks like she maybe called hpd herself? that’s an interesting twist.

oh my gosh, noelani is getting surfing lessons, and that alone is cute enough but then suddenly there’s a whoop and it’s tani on the beach giving vocal emotional support and I LOVE THAT. after a very, very long draught, this season is so good for us when it comes to female friendships.

lou is mad that adam put his niece’s life at risk, and that’s fair, but maybe... also be mad at adam for doing crimes? like, that’s bad? maybe?

fjdkfd we ended the last episode with danny and steve in the kitchen and that’s also their first appearance in this one. this is beautiful.

steve: “i do have a date, indeed.” danny: “with who?” steve: “a lady.” LISTEN, i am taking this as the “a lady” part being not just an evasive maneuver, but intended to be an actual answer, because it could also not have been a lady. bi steve. it’s canon now.

steve LOST COUNT of how many dates he’s been on with brooke (the lady he’s ironing his shirt for on valentine’s day) and he’s kind of smiling while he says it and that’s cute!! i like that for him!! but also. when the fuck did he go on all of these dates with brooke when he was also dating the vet in between, out of the running entirely for at least a month or two, and he’s been continually living with danny since he got back to hawaii and danny apparently knows nothing about these dates. what kind of stealth techniques has steve been employing? has he had brooke sneak in through his bedroom window at night so danny wouldn’t find out? how many times did he have to cancel a date because danny refused to sleep on the couch and there was no space left for brooke in steve’s bed? (i kid, but seriously, what is this timeline?)

danny: “i’m glad somebody has a life.” steve, pointing at danny: “oohhh, tani and quinn are going to the movies tonight...” fdjkfd, first bi steve, and now tani and quinn have a movie date. good stuff. i’m enjoying this.

fjdkfjdkf, steve, whAT. “tell you what, buddy, if i finish up early with brooke, i’ll give you a call, we can hang out.” i mean! that’s really sweet! but also very wtf, because he’s essentially going “hey, maybe this thing i have to do (date my girlfriend, ugh) won’t take very long and we’ll have time to hang! :D” and i just. god. i’m laughing, but i am so glad brooke is not a real woman because i feel very sorry for her.

danny a) recognizes signs of domestic abuse and b) has done his research and c) is appropriately gentle with this woman, even though they have her in custody and she’s already admitted to killing her husband and she potentially started an international conflict by doing so, and just. yes. good. this is a danny i love.

side note: adam is just randomly present at hq with the rest of the team when steve and danny are on the phone with them. and, oh my god. did he not just kidnap a suspect to make a secret deal with a yakuza boss? is that not the sign steve had been looking for, the reason why steve’s spidey sense had been tingling around adam? they still trust him currently and he’s just back on the job without so much as a warning? i mean, to be fair, steve is the type of guy to be all for crazy shit if it gets results, so maybe he’s glad adam did what he did, idk, but i am genuinely so confused at this point about what the writers are telling us about where adam stands, both with the team and in his own life, and with the yakuza, for that matter. is he now an active gang member while also trying to earnestly protect the law in five-0?

i love how this episode is escalating, omg. first we’re told the wife killed her husband, then he’s a thai diplomat, then the wife’s boyfriend killed the husband, then he didn’t, then thailand wants the wife while five-0 knows she didn’t do it and so they STEAL HER. taking a page out of adam’s book, i guess, though at least this time the entire team knows what’s going on.

except for tani and noelani, who are being held hostage by two amateur criminals in a convenience store, which is also a subplot i really like! honestly, not a bad moment in this episode so far.

okay, one very minor note though: please, for the love of all that is holy, do not let this woman they’re saving become a love interest for danny. they have a lovely talk in the back of a truck during the grand escape and that’s wonderful and good and i like it, but i can’t help but be really scared that the show is aiming to somehow make that romantic at some point because oh, dear lord, danny has dated enough abused women under questionable circumstances. doooon’t add a third one to the list, i beg of you.

the amateur criminals are trying to get cash that they need for MEDICAL CARE. god, i hate a world in which your options are a) commit crime or b) die. it’s a good plot, though!

kamekona is providing a safehouse for danny and the woman and he’s being very kamekona about it - warm and welcoming, but warning danny off of texting too much with kamekona’s phone because it’s ten cents per message - and it’s glorious.

oh dear lord. the couple robbing the store can’t afford the surgery the husband needs, so tani presents mandatory medical attention for prisoners as a solution, and that’s a good way to talk the wife down and probably also the best the couple can hope for in their current predicament, but it’s also very fucked up. you shouldn’t have to wave a gun around to get help for your brain tumor.

danny and the woman are found and get arrested, and the VERY NEXT SHOT is danny turning to steve in the car and asking how he got him out so fast. that WAS very fast, danny, you’re right. zero seconds has to be a new record, dang.

steve: “i may have promised yang that if she didn’t release you immediately i was gonna make a whooole lot of noise.” i do understand what this means, but i also enjoy the thought of steve literally making noise. any noise. if you don’t release danny, steve will appear at your door and start quacking like a duck very loudly. you’ve been warned, state department!

ahhh! they solve the case, find the actual killer of the abusive diplomat husband, make sure the wife gets to stay where she is and reunite her with the concerned doctor boyfriend who didn’t kill anybody!! this makes me very happy, all the more so because they won’t have her date danny if she’s already dating someone else, which puts my fears to rest. this season continues to be better about things than this show has been in the past and i appreciate the heck out of it.

adam gets an ominous warning to watch his back from a criminal he’s delivering information about hpd to. are we supposed to be on adam’s side? i’m still very confused.

fjdkfd, danny walks into the house to find the entire team getting ready for a night of hanging out and wonders if he invited everyone and forgot about it, and steve walks in, already chewing on something, and says “it’s possible, because you’re old now”. what a brilliant burn, steve. very impressive.

i won’t recount everything that happens because i know i’d end up writing a stupidly long paragraph but i do adore everything that happens and want that noted. the whole team just chilling and arguing about whether love actually is a romcom or a christmas movie? yes, please! a hundred of those.

danny takes steve aside to tell him he doesn’t have to worry about danny and steve gives an unconvincing reason for why he totally didn’t arrange this because he was worried about danny, which essentially makes it canon that he did plan all of this for that exact reason, which is SO EXTRA. they live together, they’ve spent the entire day together, and then steve cancels a valentine’s dinner with his girlfriend (who he told earlier that he didn’t want to involve danny in their relationship, because he’s too nosy) and invites like six other people just so he can hang out with danny again.

annnd they end up snuggled together on the couch. on valentine’s day. you know, like homies do.

THIS. WAS A VERY GOOD EPISODE. thoroughly enjoyed practically every second of it, 10/10, would like more like this.

#h50 #*#10.16

46 notes · View notes

thatadorkablegirl · 4 years

Text

Since 2019 is coming to an end, I wanted to say a couple things:

So I made this tumblr account wayyy back in 2014 (holy shit that was 5 years ago wtf acndksm)

I actually wanted to delete this account this year since I wasn’t using it anymore. When tumblr added group chats, I wanted to see what the hype was all about.

Who knew that in the gcs I’m in I would’ve never guessed that I would meet such amazing people and that I’m happy to call my friends 🥺 Also going from 3 followers to 63 followers... holy shit (wtf y’all actually like my reposts jkjk anfndjdj)

Beware: I may or may not get sappy with these paragraphs so bear with me 😳👈🏽👉🏽

Here are a few people I wanna shout out:

@sweetchaos-yk NANA I LOVE YOUUU SOOO MUCH LIKE YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND AKFNDNDND you are one of the sweetest people I’ve met in the gcs and I’m so so happy to call you my friend 💕 You’re funny, caring pretty, and you’re always the first one to send an infinite amount of hearts, love to everyone! Plus, your super supportive! I love talking to you and I hope we can talk more and I hope we’ll be friends for a long time. I hope to get to know you more too 💕❤️✨💖💜💗❤️💕💟✨✨💝💖💘💕💞💝✨✨💜💗🥺💖

@chippychee @defsigh FIRST OF ALL, YALL ARE ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PEOPLE I KNOW LIKE HOLY HELL okay so literally I love all of your crackhead nature to the point where I’m literally in tears at home reading messages 😂 also I love the fact that each and both of you guys have such a chill vibe to you that you’re both just loveable people from the get go. Everyone gravitates towards you both because you both have such a positive energy. Also I love how y’all can switch from being ultimate crackheads to being mature individuals too! ily my crazy,lovable boons! Hopefully I’ll get to know both of you a lil bit better in the future and I hope we stay friends too 👁👅👁🤟🏽❤️💛💚💙💓💞🤍💞💘✨💖💝💟❣️💜🤍✨💛❤️🖤

@lucyhasproblems @ethereal-bean MY SMARTY FARTY PANTS BOONS I love how you both are always there to help people who need advice.Like you both are so knowledgeable about almost everything and I’m always in awe when I read through your intellectual convos.I wish I can be like you guys akdnfjd Both of you are such wise individuals with bright futures ahead of you! I know it’s gonna be a long road ahead for you both but I wish nothing but the best in your career paths. I love you both with all my heart and I hope I can get to know you both better and stay friends too 💖💕💜✨💗🤧✨💜💕💚💜💖💜💚💚🤧

@sanownsmyheart BISH YOU ALREADY HEARD WHAT I HAD TO SAY BUT IMMA SAY IT AGAIN AKDNFJDJ Soo first of all I would’ve never guessed that we would be friends the first time we talked tbh but I’m super happy that I got to know you more and I just wanna say that I love you girl and you know if you wanna talk I’m here for you no matter what. Also don’t bring yourself down when things get tough, I know me saying that doesn’t really help much but just remember there’s always someone out there who’ll listen to you 🥺🤧❤️

@hell0stupid @dondielonie1 @wikihoeofgot7 @smoltrashcanfuk MY AHGASE BABES 🤧💚 First I just wanna say I love each and every single one of you even if we don’t know each other that well (feel free to message me or send gifs 🗿 to start a convo with me I don’t mind!) y’all make me soo happy when we’re talking or thirsting over the boys Who knows maybe one day we’ll all go to their concert together 🥺🤟🏽💚✨

And to all my new friends/mutuals I don’t know too well @honeymoon-changb @homeiswhereyoustoreyourlove @qtsoftie @henloimawierdobye @incoherent-piece-of-trash @fandom-queen-aka-trash @yeomjoo @nakamowoto @yeetyouhoes @sakurasangcl @bubbleskwan @chanswish @atinywoozi @aceforeverz @applejwoos @candle-lit-stars @stars-of-the-rainbow @cartier-co @forcing--happiness @gay4nct @iiasha @junhui @jihoonspout @kpopshennanigans @mindofthescattered @nubluko @veckvontour @fandomshavecollided @bbinie (and everyone else that I may have forgotten) I LOVE AND APPRECIATE EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND I HOPE I GET TO KNOW YOU GUYS/GALS BETTER 🥺🥺✨❤️💜💚✨💕💗💜✨💕💖✨❤️💜 Even though I may not be as close to any of you yet, I hope I could change that! I’m always open to have a convo so please feel free to dm me, text me, message me, etc. because I want to get to know you better. Don’t feel pressured that you have to message me or anything, do whatever you are the most comfortable with! Also if you need someone to rant/vent to I’m always here for you 😊✨💕💞💕💖✨💜💞💚❤️💘💝💚❤️❤️💖✨✨💞❤️

This year was absolute s h i t especially since this year was the year my depression was getting the best of me and I was very close to not being alive and typing this rn.

But with the help of all of you (both close or not) I want to say I thank each and every single one of you for just being you and being accepting of lil ol me! I appreciate the love and support you all have given me and I’m being serious 🥺🥺🤧🤧

If you think that you can’t help out or support anyone in life think about this you helped one person think about everything else except dying...this gal 🤧❣️ I know 2019 was a hard year for most of us but I hope that 2020 is a better year for not only our mental health but I hope it’s filled with love, positivity, opportunities, good vibes, and also seeing through the negative energy and bullshit that people may say or do as well.

I LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE EVERYBODY HAS AN AMAZING AND PROSPEROUS 2020 💙💗💚💓🧡💞💘💛💕❣️💓💗💝💟💕💝💞❣️💟💟💛💘💘💚💙💗💜❣️💕💕💟💗💓💕🤍🖤💟❤️💛💝💙💗💛💗🖤🤍💝💖💕💓❤️💛💚💚🤍💜💜💕💓💓💕💕❣️💜🖤🧡💚💚🤍💓💞💝💖❣️💞🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍💞💚💚🖤🖤💛💝❣️💓💞🧡💟💟✨✨💟💘🧡💓💓❣️✨💓💞💜💓✨💟💟💞❤️💖💜✨💜💓❣️✨💟💟✨✨✨💖💖❤️💝💕💟🖤🤍💙🤍💓🖤💕❣️💘✨💖❤️💝💚💜❤️💖❣️💘💓🤍💛💙✨💜💜💝💝💕❣️💘💛💓🖤🤍💛💟💞💝💘❣️✨💖❤️💜💞💚💞💝💞❤️💞❣️❣️✨💟💟💟✨💜💖💗💗

#my thoughts #2019 #it me uwu #yes i was jcrying in the jclub while i was typing this cnxndnznsn

74 notes · View notes

hana-and-her-bs · 4 years

Text

IRL Hisoka's Bullshit: A Comprehensive Guide

Welcome to the long ass timeline of david’s lies and misdirections. Make sure you’ve got time before you read this, it’s almost 4,000 words long.

(hana, while editing this to post: please add a “keep reading” cut right here.)

Our tumblr family’s first encounter with David was when he made a headcanon request in my inbox. He asked for several characters with an s/o who is depressed and self harms, adding an extra comment on the fact that he wasn’t feeling well lately. When I refused this request and said he could talk to me about that if he wanted to, he sent in another anonymous ask apologizing for triggering me or anyone else and asked if he could tell me why he was feeling this way. I assured him that it wasn’t a big deal and referred him to several nonspecific helplines. He then sent in another ask, this time he coming off anon. He told me that he was trans and that his dysphoria was really bad lately. I answered this ask privately with several more specific hotlines and a little bit of advice. He thanked me in another ask and headed off to sleep.

The next event in our little timeline is Hana’s hate anon. The earliest appearance I found was on July 29th, although I know there were some before that. This is only a hateful ask and not the essay that led to Hana’s hiatus. That essay was submitted by an anon on August 1st, and it got lots and lots of love and support from many, all of them rightfully telling Hana how amazing she is and defending her against the hate. Hana then announced she was going on hiatus. We believe David took notice of the attention she received here and decided he wanted a little of his own.

Mere hours after Hana’s hiatus announcement, she made a second post entitled “Hiatus of Hiatus (Momentarily)”. The body text of that post said, “Please stop Dming me and telling me not to kms. I’m not going to, I promise. I really don’t want to be reminded that I’m in a position where people think that I would do that. I’m sorry, I appreciate the concern, however, I’m not suicidal in the least.”

These are the first few events in our timeline. Remember, every claim here is alleged. If we’re wrong about everything we look like assholes, so everything is alleged.

Now to the interesting part. On August 3rd, David made a post that said, and I quote, “Can you please, please stop sending things to my inbox saying ‘you’re still a girl’ and ‘you’re a fag and a tranny’ Please I’m so tired of it”. Are you noticing a pattern? The phrasing of this post is uncannily similar to the phrasing of Hana’s “Hiatus of Hiatus (Momentarily)” post. There were no posts about getting any asks on his blog at the time, and no one who has been following him since August 3rd remembers there being any. It’s unlikely he answered some in a post and then deleted them, as this doesn’t appear to be a habit of his in the future. In looking for receipts for this timeline, nothing we were looking for had been deleted. Not a single post. So it’s highly unlikely he somehow managed to post these anon messages and then delete them before any of us could read them. Another possibility is that he deleted the messages as soon as they entered his inbox, and that’s a reasonable argument. The only thing that makes this illogical is the fact that he posted every other anon message in the future. It makes no sense that he would delete the first ones and decide to answer the second ones publicly. It would make more sense if he had hate anons that he was posting first and then decided to delete the messages after he got fed up with them. But that’s not what happened, as you’ll see later.

At this point, David is only claiming to have hate anons. We have two theories for why he didn’t just send himself hate messages at first rather than only claiming to be receiving them. One is that he used this post as an interest gauge that he wanted to see if he’d get as much support as Hana did when that hate anon’s essay was posted. The second is that he hadn’t thought of the idea yet, that he hadn’t realized he could send them himself instead of waiting for someone else to come along and send some for him.

He then made a post on August 4th saying “I’m done. Absolutely, done. Wtf is wrong with you anon. telling me to kms. I’m doing what Hana did I forgot what it’s called tho. Fuck you anon. I’m waving my white flag [white flag emoji].” This is him saying he was going on hiatus like Hana had announced only 4 days prior. Again, there is no actual evidence of him receiving any real hate anon messages yet. It’s unlikely he did. Hana had 250 followers at the time of getting hate anons, while David had no more than 10. While it’s not impossible for him to have actually gotten hate anon messages, it’s highly, highly unlikely for reasons previously stated and reasons yet to come.

David didn’t really go on hiatus at all. To give him a little credit, he didn’t post anything notable for about 3 days after this, but I’d hardly call that a break. On August 7th, though, all hell broke loose.

August 7th was the most notable day in the entire timeline. Because this was the day when we saw the first actual hate anon messages. The first one he received said “Hi! I just wanted to say Your just a fucking tranny and a fag and god hates you. Please delete this app! Your fics aren’t even that good. They suck. Also kill your self nobody would care!” To which David replied a simple 3 dots. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never actually seen David write anything on his blog. I know he has, but I feel like you’d have to be awfully active on his page and have been there from the very beginning to know about the fact that he’s posted fanfiction. After the first post got a lot of backlash from myself and David’s other mutuals at the time, a second and third anon message came rolling in. These had a much more loving theme, however. They weren’t the hate anon, but a couple of anons supporting David (one of which was me). After David replied to those two positive anon messages, three more hate messages were posted with equal amounts of support for David in the replies as before. After that, three more love anons pulled in, again, one of which was myself. A final anon message appeared for the day, and with that, the hate anons were over for the 7th. He got another love anon after that. The next anon message posted was one of the last love anons asking for a request. Again, he doesn’t really write and the fact that requests were open wasn’t advertised or even written anywhere, leading us to believe this anon is also David himself. The anon asked for headcanons with a couple characters dating a demisexual girl. David said he’d have to do some research because he didn’t know what the term demisexual meant and asked a few more clarifying questions, claiming the headcanons would be posted “Monday or Tuesday”. It’s been over two weeks since then and no such headcanons were posted. This led us to believe that he was this anon, and that he was using this ask as fuel for future hate anon messages. The final thing that happened on the 7th was a request clearly made to trigger someone. It had mentions of suicide and sexual violence, both topics David has expressed he is uncomfortable around. Again, I think this message was sent by David for aforementioned reasons. He doesn’t really get requests and not many people knew he took them. However, to play devil’s advocate, he did get that anon message asking for a demisexual reader before this and this supposed “anon” could’ve gotten the idea there. Unlikely, but possible. (an added note after: I told David in a dm that day to turn off the anon option so that the hate anon could be traced, and he refused. Just an interesting detail.) That wraps up August 7th.

On August 8th, he posted that he punched a cop and was placed in a holding cell, being released sometime on the 8th. It’s unclear when he was originally placed in the cell, if this happened at all. After this, he received another hateful message, assumedly from the same anon as the previous night. This one criticized him for not knowing the meaning of demisexual and insulted his appearance and his writing once more. He apologized for not knowing the definition and moved on, until another message popped up insulting him and misgendering him. Both of these also got a lot of backlash from myself and his other mutuals at the time. We were encouraging the hate anon to come after us instead of David in these, which will come into play later. He also got 4 more love anon messages, one of which seemed to be written by him. It said, “I love your writing, sir. Pls don’t listen to rude people. I hope I rote this correctlly English is my second language.” As Hana can confirm, non-native English speakers simply don’t type this way. It was very clearly written by someone with English as their first language pretending to be someone who didn’t know the language very well. This looks to me like he has been sending himself multiple love anon messages to encourage other real people to do the same, and he’s trying to make it look like there’s a lot of different people supporting him rather than the same few, which leads us to believe several other love anons were also David himself. Again, all of this is alleged, it’s just what it looks like from here. After those few love anons, the hate anon appeared again, only this time, it was in Anarchy’s inbox. Anarchy defended David fiercely, much to David’s satisfaction, I imagine. There were multiple exchanges between Anarchy and this supposed hate anon, each time Anarchy responded with a lengthy paragraph about how much she appreciated David. In one of the anon messages, the anon used David’s deadname, which he never listed on his profile (obviously). You might think that’s damning, but he explains it away later. The last things that happened on the 8th was that he made a post saying how much he hated being with his mom and step mom due to then treating him unfairly. This led to a post that said, “Hi this is davids step mother. I don’t understand why he has been saying these things. I will be taking his phone because I have never done this to him.” This is unlikely for a number of reasons. How did the step mom know what he was saying if we almost know for sure she doesn’t have tumblr without having taken his phone already? And who makes a Tumblr post about taking their step son’s phone away right after doing it? It reminds me a lot of that one Xbox live chat where the kid pretended to commit suicide and then acted like his father messaging the person who “caused his suicide,” but I digress. He later updated his followers by saying he didn’t let her take his phone. Riiiiight. Okay. Moving on.

August 9th was a big day for David, or at least for who he’s portraying himself to be. Not at first, though. This was the day he claims to have moved in with his boyfriend and the day he was proposed to. Or at least, that’s what he wants us to think. But we’ll get to that in a second. The first thing of note that he posted that day was that he was having trouble with his dysphoria, which led to multiple anon messages reaffirming his gender identity. He also posted a storytime that also supposedly happened that day about going to the beach. To quote it: “So me and my boyfriend went to go for a walk along the beach. We’re walking and I have to go to the bathroom luckily there was a restaurant not to far from there so I just ran because ya bitch had to pee. Anyways a girl started hitting on my boyfriend while I was In the bathroom (he told me and i saw when i came back) so i’m walking back up and what do I see? a girl really close to my boyfriend and she has her hand on his shoulder so i start To walk over there and my boyfriend sees me and runs and jumps into my arms and kisses me. The girl rolls her eyes and leaves. I’m a blushing mess from the PDA. I put him down and go get Ice cream.” Now, this is just a nitpicky thing, nothing to do with the rest of the points made. But that story looks like it was ripped right off of r/thattotallyhappened I’m so sorry if it was actually true but at this point, with how much he’s (*ahem* allegedly) lied about, I wouldn’t put it past him. Back to the main thing that happened on the 9th. This is the first point we have definitive proof for. If you reverse image search the image David posted of the engagement ring, it brings up the following pages:

And what do we see when we click on one of those links?

A list of different kinds of wedding rings and their respective pros and cons, including this very image. I think it’s safe to say this website didn’t rip this photo from David’s tumblr page. Get excited, people! This is indisputable evidence that he lied and there’s no way to explain his way out of it! Awesome. Moving right along, this is getting hella long.

August 10th. Nothing really notable about this day, David posted a submission about how to block anons though. This was also the day that the hate anon came into my inbox instead. Not to attack me, but to attack David. Again, at this point we’re going with the assumption that David is the anon. I defended him again, and when I got sick of it I turned off the anon option to see what would happen and surprise surprise, no more anon messages. That’s about all that happened on the 10th.

On the 11th he claimed to have gotten r*pe and death threats without posting the anon messages. At this point, it’s almost reasonable to believe he deleted them right out of his inbox and moved on. Almost.

On the 12th, the hate anon was back in my inbox. They sent me two asks, one of which I responded to and the other I didn’t. At the second one, I blocked the anon’s IP address, meaning that they could never send me another ask again, anon or not. What’s damning about this is that after this day, I never got another ask from David again. Normally he’d at least send something while ask games were going around, but from that point on I got absolutely nothing. This is almost definitive proof that David was his own hate anon. Another thing that happened that day, after Hana flirted with me a little bit publicly he encouraged us to date. That’s wrong for a number of reasons and seems extra creepy now, but we won’t be getting into that now.

Things died down a bit until the 15th. This is the day the hate anon supposedly forgot to press “ask anonymously” and revealed themselves. The account was someone he claimed to be his sister, but the entire account was based around David and there was no previous activity and as soon as all the (*cough* manufactured) “drama” died down, the account disappeared. Just stopped existing altogether. We think David used this account to explain how the hate anon seemed to know him so well, even though the account seemed a lot like it was created and run by David. There was a dm conversation between David and this sister account posted on David’s account, basically with the sister insulting him and him responding very calmly to that. He only posted the hate message the sister sent off anon after he’d said it was his sister. What I’m wondering is how David knew this account was his sister by just reading the username. If there was no previous history (indicative of the account being created with the sole purpose being to hate David) how did he know it was his sister? It’s not like he’d think to just ask her irl if that was her account. Another thing that happened on the 15th was a post about him talking with his uncle. To quote: “I was on the phone with my uncle (who hasn’t seen me in 7 years) and he asks how old i am and when I tell him, he gets so quiet. Like is he surprised?” Notice how he doesn’t list a specific age in the post. He’s told everyone in the tumblr family group a different number, and he’s trying not to allude to that fact. He also claims to have had a big verbal argument with his “fiancee” that day where his fiancee threw his ring at him and packed up for his sister’s house on the 15th only 6 days after their alleged engagement. We don’t get another update on that until the next day, the 17th.

The 17th was when “Jackson” and David officially broke up.

On the 20th, a mysterious account called “jackson-periodt” showed up, reblogging David’s posts publicly begging David to take him back. But David refused. Like the sister account, this account had no previous history and disappeared after the “drama” subsided. The fact that we know now that he definitely lied about being engaged brings up all kinds of questions. What did he tell the truth about? Or, to be more apt, what didn’t he lie about? Is anything he’s told us true? Was he ever even dating a “Jackson”? And who asks for a second chance PUBLICLY on TUMBLR?

Then the 22nd, when all the pedophilia and predation came to light, David issued a half assed apology and hasn’t been heard from since. At least on his main account.

For awhile, there’d been a Carolina anon going around the tumblr family’s blogs and everything.

When David’s predation was brought to light, they came off anon, sporting the URL @/carolina209. Awfully similar to the Jackson alias, don’t you think? It’s just like the other accounts, the sister one and the Jackson one. No previous history, no profile picture, no banner, nothing but a title and a bio. You’d think they’d be a little more fleshed out, but they’re just… not. This Carolina anon was in everyone’s inboxes in our little tumblr family besides mine. That might be because they just don’t want to talk to me, or it could be because the hate anon, David, and Carolina accounts all have the same IP address that I blocked. Outlandish, I know. But if you look on the @/hana-and-her-bs account and all the screenshots of dms between Hana and Carolina, it starts to look a little more believable. Carolina’s flighty, her stories don’t add up. And she’s claiming to be a BNHA writer without having done any actual writing or anything to allude to the fact that they even actually like writing. Sound familiar? It should. Now, again, playing devil’s advocate here, it’s very possible she just hasn’t gotten around to posting any writing yet. After all, her account has seemingly only been around a few days. But she got real close to us all real quick, especially to Logan, the previous object of David’s revolting behavior. The Carolina account has tried to make it very clear that they’re a minor. If David is behind it (which we’re 99% certain of), this absolutely discredits his entire apology post. If he was truly sorry, he wouldn’t be trying it a second time.

Another thing that convinces me David is behind this Carolina account is that Carolina is defending the fact that David’s a minor. Not outright, but subtly. If you check those aforementioned screenshots, you’ll see what I mean. The account implies it has proof that David is 16-17. It seems like he’s trying a little too hard to sell this “innocent little girl who’s just soooo afraid of the scary bad man” persona on this alt account. The whole thing is just a little suspicious.

And that’s everything we have so far. It’s a lot, I know (3.8k words worth my lord), but I hope you can all understand just how deep this goes. We thought this was a simple case of predation, when in reality it’s a very clear pattern of insecurity and compulsive lying. Again, all of this is alleged (except the ring part. That’s not alleged, that’s definitive proof) so don’t @ me, alright? Alright.

Dishonorable mentions:

He claims his birthday is on August 5th, while the Carolina account (supposedly a close real life friend of his, but we think is actually David) says his birthday is the 6th.

He told me he went on a first date with a boy 2 months ago, then got engaged on the 9th. When I asked him how long they’d been dating, he said 3 years, then he clearly claimed to have been dating him for 7. It doesn’t add up.

Claims his dad left him and then days later says his dad is the nicest person you’d ever meet and that he lives with his dad while his sister lives with his mom. Again, doesn’t add up.

He reblogged anti-pedo posts about having pedo apologists unfollow him, and said, “its disgusting how two people unfollowed me.” while literally being a pedo. This one’s more funny than annoying or disgusting.

The alleged sister account, @/okay-but-who-asked? They liked one of my posts, and I can’t prove it at all, but it’d be HELLA funny if it was because David forgot to switch accounts before liking my content.

A closing statement: David, if you’re reading this, please take a break from tumblr. From all social media, honestly. I mean that in the nicest way possible. I’ve said this over and over again, but I’m gonna say it again because it’s important. If you’re going to use your platform like this, you don’t deserve a platform. Full stop. Please take a break and come back when you learn how to act like a decent truth-telling human being. This story is honestly really sad to think about, the fact theory that you’re so insecure you made a hate anon persona to get attention. There are better ways to make friends, man, trust me. Get a therapist and figure it out. Pedophilia isn’t a valid coping mechanism.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Thank you, Babe! A timeline to keep in mind for the grand finale, which is postponed. For the time being, please try your hardest to make a friend like bond with Carolina, for I’ll be gone for 5 days starting tomorrow. After that, shit will hit the fan. ❤️❤️❤️ Hana

@jmeyerss @gayfanficanonymous @anarchytheselfshipper @red-riot-rat @squishytenya

6 notes · View notes

mistymark · 5 years

Text

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!!

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

214 notes · View notes

mayonakazkrazy · 4 years

Text

Soooooooo I wanna talk about an Animated Movie

One night recently, I may have been watching a show that started giving me too many... ‘too real life’ vibes, when what i needed in the moment was ‘taking a break to mentally and emotionally recharge’ time. SOOOO to redirect my overstimulated brain I changed over to a ‘safe’ non threatening movie, Monster House.

Spoilers below the cut in a sort of review as well as some random details that i noticed that make me go ‘... well that got real fast...’ and one tangent/character dive i been wanting to get into toward the end.

Also fair warning about my run on sentences... they’re not going anywhere

Monster House is... a CG movie that oddly enough gives off Claymation vibes... at least to me from certain style design choices. I honestly feel that sort of works in it’s favor since the CG of the mid 2000s was.... terrifying if care wasn’t take in the process. Not good if you want you film to be taken seriously, buuut this movie manages to tow the line because a) it IS supposed to be at least a little scary to kids... haunted house? and b) even though the characters take things seriously enough the writing itself doesn’t try TOO hard to pretend it’s more than it is.

As it stands, the movie is Ok - in the best possible vein of ok. Not some epic, groundbreaking thing but I think it warrants being on people’s list of fun movies to play on Halloween. Visually interesting and funny, you can tell that the people who made the movie at least had fun working on it; and cared more about the project than some other kids’ movies that get put out purely for the easy cash grab via paint by numbers. (I found out that this movie was nominated for Best Animated Feature apparently?! like... i like this movie but... i don’t know, i’ll have to see what other movies came out that year cuz while i like it i’d like to reiterate that i don’t know if it’s BEST (animated/kids) movie of the year material...)

I can honestly say that it was at the Start if not ahead of the ‘remember the 80s?’ fad in movies. Again, not to the film’s discredit. It’s less concerned with smacking you over the head with ‘EIGHTIES!’ and is more set in the time period to make things more plausible. Ya got kids running around unattended for hours without parental guidance, and a number of other 80′s tropes that are, easily ignored at worse and make story elements more believable at best. I mean... .when ELSE would you believe that kids could run around basically unattended for HOURS just before Halloween....hell one kid ACTUALLY STEALS an amount of cold medicine that would have you on MULTIPLE investigative lists even 15 years ago. And NOT just because “the parents are just bad parents”... there’s arguably only one ACTUALLY bad parent in the film who’s only mentioned off-hand but i’ll talk about in a little bit. The rest are parents with semi justifiable reasons for either not believing their respective kid about the haunted house or not thinking they’re NOT unattended (ie. someone’s supposed to be babysitting one of these kids but SURPRISE! she’s in the “selfish teen is a disinterested babysitter spending more time talking to or about boys than ACTUALLY doing the job she’s paid to do” trope)

TLDR on that paragraph, this movie spends so little time being WE”RE THE 80′S! that i wasn’t even sure WHEN it was supposed to take place if it wasn’t for the lack of iPhones and the stationwagons all over.

ANYWAY. some details that tend to stand out to me with this movie tend to be the things that we just get to hear about briefly and are arguably meant to encourage conversation if someone NEEDS to know more about it rather than just getting EVERYTHING explained for no good reason. So enjoy me conversing with myself here.

First up, Chowders family life is kind of sad. Like i said earlier there’s only one or two parents to the three main characters of the movie that people would likely consider ACTUALLY bad.

The lead’s, DJ’s, parents go out of town at the start of the movie and could reasonably be expected to think that their kid was being watched by the babysitter (see trope rant above).

The mother of the token female character (Jenny) is Maaayyybe a bad parent but that is to be argued as we only have a few reasons to believe so and some can be explained by the aforementioned 80′s era lack of parental awareness. All we really know is that, this girl is walking around selling candy on her own, gets nearly eaten by the Monster House, and when she calls her mother to tell her about it, the mom doesn’t believe her as no parent ever does about monsters. Sooooo while she does get points off for her kid not even having someone with her during the candy selling, we also don’t hear from or about her again for the rest of the movie until just, coming to pick her up at the end. She get’s a *shrug* on the scale of good or bad parenthood.

Then there’s our secondary male character, Chowder The Dumb One Comic Relief. He’s the one with arguably the most complicated family that we get any insight to. and it’s pretty much just from his off-handed comments on it and a single snipet of a phone call we get to overhear. Literally, what you are about to read, my brain managed to over think from these freakin context clues... SO, it WOULD be SUPER easy to miss what we get about this family and just chalk it up to ‘OH those kids movie parents and their rampant absenteeism and DEATH’ but no. Chowder’s family life is... a little sad if i’m honest. we only hear about 2 calls regarding these kids and their parents. One is when Jenny calls her mom to try to tell on the House for eating her and the other is when Chowder’s dad calls looking for his son. NOW, Chowder himself tells DJ (and the audience) that his Dad is working at a Pharmacy the night Chowder goes over to DJ’s house and nearly gets himself eaten by the Monster House. The boys end up spending the entire night after that, watching the house to see if anybody or anything else gets attacked. Chowder’s dad doesn’t call DJ’s house to find out where his kid is until morning, so we’re lead to believe that his lack of knowledge about the boys’ impromtu sleep-over because he works the graveyard shift (or at least late enough that he would assume Chowder’s in bed until waking the next morning).

The somewhat sad part comes with the second bit of information we get from Chowder after he tells DJ that his dad is at work that evening and it’s, “Mom is at the movies with her personal trainer”. 0.o ooooooh the scandal... i mean, yeah in general cheating spouses isn’t exactly the most uncommon occurance....anywhere. but isn’t it just a little sad that part of the reason that this is not only the reason that Chowder is home alone (making it SUPER easy for him to just leave when DJ calls). But she’s also apparently gone long enough to ALSO be out so late as to not notice that her kid is GONE all night. Looking at it nowadays just... reminds ya WHY there were ads in the 90′s asking parents where their kids were at 10pm.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

well not about the cheating Chowder’s mom part.

More like the WHOLE thing that got me wanting to type about Monster House in the first place.

A sad story with more potential doom than maybe even the film intended.

YOU SEE

A major plot twist of the movie is WHO is possessing the house. DJ and crew initially believe to be the someone they kind of know - the house’s owner, Mr. Horace Nebbercracker. At first glance, Nebbercracker is obsessively protective of his house, literally the first scene of the film is him SCREAMING in a little girl’s face and confiscating her tricycle when she accidentally ends up on his lawn (again, where are her parents?). He’s literally Mr. “Get off my lawn”.

So it’s not difficult to imagine that he’s the one haunting the place when the house seems to come life immediately after his sudden heart attack. (PS. WTF to the writers cause we AND THE TWO TEENAGED LEADS see the heart attack happen real time and the boys may have even contributed to it!! THERAPY FOR EVERYONE) Especially since Dj’s babysitter invites over her.....boyfriend? maybe. who reaffirms that Mr. Nebbercracker has been screaming at kids and confiscating toys for YEARS. yeah, super easy to see this dude sticking around after death and continuing his time honored tradition of AGGRESSIVELY dealing with trespassers. Only now as a house that WILL eat you just for stepping on the grass.

So as you may have already guessed, this later gets proved to NOT be the case. As Horace ends up returning in the climax alive and well (enough to sneak out of the hospital and steal an ambulance LIKE A BOSS).

Throughout the course of the movie, we and the kids find out that this creepy old man once had a wife but not only is she not around, rumor has it that he ATE her. for some reason. When the kids go into the house to try to ‘kill’ it and stop the house from eating people, they find a bunch of old pictures inside that at least confirm there was a wife at some point. When they end up in the basement among the piles and piles of stuff that’s landed in the yard over the years, the ALSO find a shrine to Mrs. Nebbercracker. Which is also her final resting place (a spot where she was apparently covered completely with cement).

DJ puts 2 and 2 together pretty quick when Mr. Nebbercracker returns and starts trying to calm the house. Mrs. Constance Nebbercracker is the one haunting the place, not Horace. That’s when we unlock Horace’s Tragic Back Story:

Sometime in the 1930′s Horace (a former demolition man) fell in love with Constance. Constance was being exploited as an “attraction” at a circus/freak-show at the time (during the height of just being abnormally tall, short, or obese made you a relevant ‘freak’). This place made her sleep OUTSIDE IN A CAGE and you know people were happily entertaining themselves by throwing things at her and laughing at both her weight ‘freakishness’ and helplessness.

So to follow a simple love story, the sweet skinny boy sneaks her away, his feelings are reciprocated, and the two start their life together. They’ve gotten to that nice, building their own house stage when everything goes terribly wrong.

For me, this is sort of the start of my opinion that... things for the Nebbercrackers weren’t likely to go well anyway. Like we got the impression from their wedding photos that they managed to have SOME normalcy in their honeymoon phase but when we see the beginnings of the house, Horace is JUST THEN taking apart the cage/cart that Constance was kept in. i’m presuming he was originally gonna use the various parts in the house but dear christ that means that not much time may have past between leaving the circus (guess they at least didn’t care enough about her ‘as property’ to keep the couple on the run?) to getting married and going on a vacation to buying the land and beginning construction.

That said, the mid-twentieth century isn’t exactly known for it’s forwardness on mental health, and oooooohhhhh boy, if this poor couple aint a fitting example that “and they lived happily ever after” doesn’t happen often. Halloween happens to come around and kids get up to their traditional mischief by, what else? Egging what little of the Nebbercracker house existed at the time.

(Disclaimer i am an expert in nothing so i may get somethings wrong here but this IS just me hashing out an idea i have) When we first see Constance, we see someone actually throwing food and trash at her while she’s “on display”. And when we see her at the skeleton of the Nebbercracker house, she get VISIBLY upset at the children throwing things at the house, she seeks out her husband telling him that those monsters ‘are attacking [their] house and they’re hurting [her]’. In my mind, she and Horace likely haven’t really dealt with her trauma from the circus. Yes Horace removed her from the bad situation and stopped the trauma, but as of good ole 1935, i doubt they really talked about it much, let alone saw a therapist. Both likely just trying to power forward INTO their future.

Horace’s confusion when Constance becomes triggered by the children throwing things and laughing like assholes shows us that he likely hadn’t seen or had to deal with a situation like this before. He does try to get her to focus on him and remind her that she’s with him and not back at the circus, so maybe he’s had to reassure her (like after a nightmare or maybe he got small panics when in more crowded areas - thus the house that’s likely on the edge of town since they don’t have close neighbors). But the course of events indicates that he’d never seen such a STRONG episode from her.

Perhaps she’d just finally gotten comfortable with being truly free since they could build their own home and so the perceived ‘attack’ on her home became an attack to her safety and happiness. When she goes to her husband, her savior, and (in her eyes) he doesn’t fix it/ he doesn’t get the chance to. When that egg hit HER BODY. it was game over.

Constance tried to take matters into her own hands, remove the ‘threat’ herself.... with the axe Horace was holding. Now it’s a kids movie so no children come even close to getting hurt, but one could take this to mean that, if constance had lived, she may have only gotten more violent as time went on if she didn’t get the help she needed... help Horace may not have been able to give or get for her.

We’ll never know since the way you get a haunted house is... pretty obvious. In a desparate attempt to stop Constance from likely maiming some kids or hurting herself, Horace causes constance to fall into their uncovered basement. As she falls, she tries to grab the cement mixer for stability and ends up dumping the load on top of herself in the basement (making for a VERY creepy site for a shrine). Horace’s guilt compels him to finish the house and he stays there.

Now such a violent, angry moment right before death MEANS THAT SOMETHIN’S GETTING HAUNTED. SO Constance’s spirit possesses the house and begins “defending” itself from the people of the growing town that happen to get too close. ESPECIALLY on Halloween... ya know one of the nights where EVERYBODY goes out and willingly approaches people’s front doors.

Throughout the rest of the flashback we Mr. Nebbercracker trying to keep people away with more and more desperation. Likely because DJ and Chowder haven’t witnessed the first of Constance’s victims. As the movie’s climax pics up we see how Horace talks to the house, trying to placate the angry spirit by taking care of the house and trying to be the first responder when someone enters the lawn before Constance gets to use HER WAY.

From here, Horace’s relationship with the House begins to look...pretty abusive actually. When he gets back home from the hospital he’s grumpy to the kids, but then we see him pause, he’s apprehensive as he turns to get back to the house. From the expressions the house is given and the way Mr Nebbercracker responds, it’s TELLING him to get HOME NOW. He’s timid, and fearful, and the kids begin to get the idea that if he goes into the house now, he may not come out again. And when the house LITERALLY GETS UP AND STARTS CHASING PEOPLE, he’s desperate. He tries soothing her, he tries to redirect her away from the targets of her anger - the kids.

Can you just imagine the 45 years leading up to this? Horace having to isolate himself from the whole town until it’s just him and this angry house under the pretext of “IF YOU DO NOT DEFEND HOUSE THEN THE HOUSE WILL DO IT”. He even get’s the heart breaking line of “then i’ll have nobody”. Like so many victims that feel they CAN’T leave their homes. I like to imagine that the house is PRIMARILY motivated by the rage and fear that was driving Constance in her final moments but like... what if she hadn’t? Even if she didn’t kill those kids from 45 years ago, would they have been able to get her the help she needed? Like so many back in those days, Constance and Horace likely would’ve only had the option to self medicate or get her institutionalized (ie. Imprisoned again). Would that have devolved into Constance manipulating Horace with things like “i won’t make it without you” and similar tactics. Would have maybe gone the other way? with Constance still not technically being free because Horace would (intentionally or unintentionally) encourage her dependence on him...

Anyway, when pleading to the house to just leave the children alone fails, he makes the decision to stop her. with dynamite from his Demo days.

Constance does not take this well.

From there we get the exciting confrontation where the main characters destroy the house WITHOUT the self-sacrifice that Mr. Nebbercracker may have been planning. We even get a nice little moment where constance’s spirit (unattached to the destroyed house) get’s to move on after a quick goodbye to Horace. And now we get our kids movie happy ending with DJ, Chowder, and Jenny helping Mr. Nebbercracker begin redistributing the pile of toys still in what’s left of the basement to trick-or-treaters and the living things that the house ate somehow climb out of whatever pocket dimension they were trapped in. Nobody seems to question why Nebbercracker’s house is just a crater now....and that this old man that left the hospital without a discharge is now homeless....

Buuuuuuuut i’ve been typing for like 2 hours now. I still have thoughts about other side characters and maybe more exploring the dynamics of technically being in a relationship with a haunted house. buuuuut i need to sleep.

Stay nerdy fellow overthinkers.

#Monster House #movie rant #overthinking to the max #long #rambly

7 notes · View notes

melonlord-ramblings · 4 years

Text

Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell Review & Ramblings

picture source: goodreads

Title: Then She Was Gone

Author: Lisa Jewell

Pages: ~270

Rating: 4.5/5

Trigger Warnings: Kidnapping, non-consensual impregnation, murder, suicide, sexual situations and mentions, violence, miscarriages, stalking, manipulations, neglect.

Summary:

**“THEN She was fifteen, her mother's golden girl. She had her whole life ahead of her. And then, in the blink of an eye, Ellie was gone.

NOW It’s been ten years since Ellie disappeared, but Laurel has never given up hope of finding her daughter.

And then one day a charming and charismatic stranger called Floyd walks into a café and sweeps Laurel off her feet.

Before too long she’s staying the night at this house and being introduced to his nine year old daughter.

Poppy is precocious and pretty - and meeting her completely takes Laurel's breath away.

Because Poppy is the spitting image of Ellie when she was that age. And now all those unanswered questions that have haunted Laurel come flooding back.

What happened to Ellie? Where did she go?

Who still has secrets to hide?”

Review

Wow. Wowowowow. This book was simply amazing. It was messed up, it was sad, but it was good. It did take a while for me to get into it, but when I got to part four and five, wow oh wow. The story started coming together, the mystery was being slowly solved, and you learned more about the characters. I highly recommend this book.

I took off .5 simply because of how hard and slightly boring it was to get through most of the parts. They were kind of necessary moments - not for the mystery, but for the relationship development, but it was mostly daily life activities such as cleaning a house that it was boring to read. I had to force myself to read through, but even then, sometimes I would skip paragraphs because it was just describing inane activities.

But the mystery and the characters were interesting to read about - and the one who was behind Ellie’s disappearance?? Dang. It was satisfying I guess? To have a character who did such awful things because of bad reasons. It sounds weird, but for those who read it or will read will hopefully know what I mean. I’ve said it before - I’m a big fan of Criminal Minds, and I think it’s mainly due to how the serial killers are so interesting in their motives and beliefs. Which the “whodidit” fulfilled here. At one point, I had asked, was the way she thought of her family just something she thought, or was it a result of treatment she said she received from her sister?

I also really loved how I felt towards and about Ellie’s story in the book. Lisa Jewell was able to write a story that invokes sadness, regret, and a sense of unfairness in what happened in me.

The mystery is intriguing, it’s messed up, and it’s really sad. But it was a good book.

Ramblings

Wooow. This book was craaaazy. It was hard to get sucked into the plot for a little more than half of the book. And Laurel wasn’t my favorite character in the beginning, but I liked her more in the end. Which was understandable though - she was a grieving mother and going through something I couldn’t understand. So my “judging” of her wasn’t very fair. But she also learned and moved on from her thoughts and mindset in the beginning. While it wasn’t fair and definitely not nice to think about in terms of being a grieving mother, I figured I’d still say what I thought about her. When I was first reading the book, I thought Laurel was a little rude and a bad mother and wife, though more mother - I wasn’t her biggest fan. Yes, she was grieving the loss of her favorite (which can happen I guess, but oof, the way she showed it) child, but she wasn’t the only one who lost her daughter that day. Her ex-husband had lost his daughter, and her son and other daughter had lost their sister. I guess I found it kind of annoying how after shutting down and just giving up on being a mother and wife, she wondered why, after 16 years I believe? her daughter wouldn’t tell her she was dating. When I read that, I have to admit, I was in disbelief. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but like I said, the rest of her family had also lost a family member. And the fact that she was clueless as to why her daughter and son, especially her daughter, weren’t really including them in her lives was baffling.

There was also this one moment where she meets Poppy, who’s a splitting image of her daughter that went missing and later whose bones were found, and she thinks to herself, “_This child, Laurel suddenly feels with the immediacy of a kick to the gut, needs a mother. And this mother, she acknowledges, needs a child.” _At this I was shook. I mean, she has two children!!! She could try to pay more attention to them and try to reenter their lives, but she’s fixated on Poppy because she looks like her favorite daughter.

She also seems to pain Hanna in such a bad light? Like, on the day Ellie went missing, she stared at Hanna and thought to herself that it should have been Hanna missing and Ellie at home. Like wtf??? Wow, I was honestly so shook when I read that. Then she stays resentful of Hanna being the alive daughter, but then is still surprised her daughter keeps secrets from her. Oof, I don’t even know. THEN, we find out that Hanna’s secret bf was Ellie’s ex!! Σ(･口･) (They were dating but then Ellie disappeared). While I was also very shook, I got a second shock when Laurel says, “_Hanna has completely transmogrified in her mind from an ice princess destined to never thaw to a scarlet woman throwing herself at other people’s boyfriends with no thought for anyone but herself.” _WOW. WOW. And this is also coming from the woman who was once the other woman in a relationship!! I was just so shook.

Because for me, my thought process was, her daughter might’ve died, but she can’t forget she’s got two other children to take care of. Granted, I’ve never experienced this kind of grief before, so I’m probably being unfair and insensitive.

Now let’s talk about the actual mystery.

The mystery was almost as messed up as I was guessing when I first read the summary. My initial guess had been that Floyd, the charming man with the daughter who looks exactly like Ellie, had taken Ellie and impregnated her with Poppy, and when Ellie died, he went after the mother to replace her. This is basically the premise of a Criminal Minds episode and that is where my mind went. I was partially correct, but not 100%.

Turns out, Ellie’s math tutor, Noelle, was very obsessed about Floyd, and she was in a relationship with him. She wanted to give Floyd a baby because his first daughter treated him very badly and he’s a little starved for love, so he wanted a new baby, one that would love him. And she was very determined to give that to him. But her body just could not handle it. After two miscarriages, she finally met Ellie, whom she became obsessed about and decided to kidnap in order to impregnate her and keep the child so she could also keep Floyd.

Other stuff happens later as well, but just reading and learning about the mystery about Ellie was so horrible and left a gross feeling in my chest. It just really added to the sadness about Ellie’s death because she had so much going for her, and it was ruined by an obsessed woman. Reading the chapters through Ellie’s POV was just heartbreaking. Noelle was truly sickeningly fascinating to learn and read about.

Also, my thoughts about Floyd were a lot worse than what actually was up with Floyd. I actually kind of pitied him in the end. He wasn’t really a bad man, just a lack of love and a large amount of guilt. The phrase his parents would say to him whenever they were mad? Oof. Also, I feel like I couldn’t really pity Noelle the same way, because her backstory was a little ambiguous. Was she really compared to and mistreated by her family, or was this just some weird failed expectation mindset she placed on herself? I’ll guess we’ll never know.

Anyways, that was my review, hope you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading!

2 notes · View notes

zhouxuns · 5 years

Text

thoughts on the finale

overall, s3 was quite good. but the finale makes it all feel pointless. and not just s3, but s2 and s1 as well. and i know the line about “the universe acknowledges you” was because of what was to come and was supposed to be some sort of comfort to the audience, but it wasn’t. at least not for me. legion never stuck the landing for their finales so this doesn’t surprise me. but i’m gonna rant anyways.

several things i didn’t like.

1) no acknowledgement whatsoever of the hallers who gave david a loving life. they retconned the hallers’ existence this whole season to push the idea that david never received love in his childhood and didn’t grow up looked after. despite the fact that we’ve seen throughout s1 how dearly important david’s childhood was and how important mama and papa haller were to him and how much he loved them and vice versa. i mean really, no acknowledgement of amy haller at all? the woman he cared about most besides syd? his sister? who was so important to him, we got a multiverse episode about how key amy was to david’s lives? not even an acknowledgement towards lenny when she killed herself inside amy’s body? and even worse, we’ll never know precisely why the xaviers gave david to the hallers in the first place. i found this retcon extremely insulting to david’s character, but to adopted families/foster families.

2) farouk’s redemption. how utterly insulting to the audience’s intelligence to redeem farouk with no recognition for his insidious actions and unrelenting vile choices. he possessed a baby, terrorized it for fun, abused a child, he sexually molested david every time david was frozen with fear to further suppress him, he raped lenny, a lesbian, whenever he felt like it, he stole people’s bodies because he felt like it, he killed endless amounts of people. and then they have this same farouk ask his younger self if he was really that hateful and petty as if the audience is supposed to forget that just a year prior to that conversation, that this same farouk brutally murdered an innocent amy haller to get at david and, as lenny said, raped her whenever he wanted. the same person who continued to plant the ideas in david’s head that he’s god and doesn’t have to regard the lives of other people. the same person that kidnapped syd and manipulated her into turning against david before he even betrayed her. like, for real? just retcon all of that to pretend like farouk had a change of heart and always loved david and wants world peace? all it takes is to share beer with your old enemy despite the fresh blood on your hands? wow. how embarrassingly bad is that on the writers’ behalf.

3) syd. not only did syd have a mere handful of lines in this episode, but yet again, it’s as if the writers changed their minds about syd’s feelings/characterization. she’s got to be one of the most jerked around characters on this show. she used to be consistent up until the latter half of s2 when the writers decided to make syd ooc for the sake of plot (you know, the david is evil crap). syd just episodes prior expressed that she felt it was worth it to have been with david and that she wouldn’t change it. she didn’t regret their love, she regretted their downfall. in her final moments, she’s back to bitter snark, borderline defeating the whole empathy episode. i loved the bit about saving baby david, but loathed the “i am” in response to david saying she’ll be extraordinary without him around. it retcons the entire value of syd’s history, her life choices, her self perception. syd, who ALWAYS believed she was extraordinary, given by her famous quote “who teaches us to be normal when we’re one of a kind”, suddenly will be a “better” person w/o having known david? when it was through him she found summerland, found mutant allies, found freedom, found a second childhood. and then what is the purpose of saying her new life will be distinctly amazing if we don’t even get to see it? not even an epilogue paragraph of what syd became in her new life? it felt like such an impersonal send off for her. she’s the female lead but yet again she ends up on the reduced end of things.

4) no consequences. the entire theme of s3 was, time traveling can change the past, but it can’t change who we are. there were no consequences in sight for any of these people. all those awful things david did, murdering and orphaning people, causing his best friend/sister’s suicide, drugging those hundreds of women, none of it mattered when legion pretended like it was supposed to. we didn’t really see david grow. we didn’t truly see him redeem his self. we didn’t see him express any true regret or remorse for all he did on the way there. right up until he end he remained in his entitled tantrum state. all it did was justify everything he did. because the past got rewritten. david got his second life and the people he sacrificed to do it don’t matter. and really? “sorry” was all he could say to the woman he raped and hurt the most? big yikes. legion’s faux commentary on make entitlement and sexism went absolutely nowhere. it’s absolutely bull crap. further proof that rape should’ve never been part of this show, let alone trying to do commentary on rape culture.

5) disjointed elements. switch turning out to be a time god felt so last minute and so lazy. she suffers and endured all this abuse from david because she was meant to “grow up” into her celestial clock form. sure it’s better than just her dying, but it feels as if her screentine was dedicated for a disappointing surprise. given how much screentime switch took up, i expected better. this is my main problem with shows adding more characters to the main plot. it causes the original characters to be neglected which results in less screentime for the originals (syd and the loudermilk twins) or being killed/written off (lenny, ptonomy, the birds) and usually the pay off isn’t good.

6) the severe lack of follow up. we will never know what oliver’s 1 + 1 plan was. we will never know what ultimately became of the birds. what became of ptonomy, who they turned into a flash drive and gave all of 3 lines to for the whole season, we’ll never know what the 3 years from now event change ptonomy calculated turned out to be, or what became of summerland or division 3. we’ll never know why they showed 616!legion in the desert. we will never get a true apology from syd to david and vice versa. we will never get an actual explanation for why farouk was allowed to roam around freely and unchecked despite him being the root cause for david’s demise.

7) the impersonal approach to mental illness. what’s the deal? legion had such a sensitive despite clinical approach to mental illness in s1. they handed the diagnoses with such care and the themes involved with it. in s2 it’s all but abandoned, and in s3 the theme returns, but with no personal touch whatsoever. ah gabrielle has the sickness, it runs in the women in the family, okay mental illness is hereditary for david, understandable. how come this is something david never reconciles his self with? how come they never give david’s true diagnosis? we know he has dissociative identity disorder, but david doesn’t. david is expressly in denial about being mentally ill, even saying he’s not “crazy” to his mother. yet he has a system of alters he works with. they all say “i am legion” which we know is what his collective of alters are called, but that’s it. one of the things david wanted to change was his mental illness. is he ever going to learn he can’t change that because he was sick all along because of his mother? his mental illness is such a huge aspect to her character yet in s3 it just feels like a post it note stuck to his chest. no one regards it with sensitivity. no one accepts responsibility in exacerbating his condition. nothing. legion used to be about mental illness. then they shed it for social commentary which held no weight, and destroyed the characterizations for an outcome that was ultimately inconsequential.

overall, this just proves to me that legion needed more than 3 seasons. easily 4-5 seasons would’ve worked better for this. legion doesn’t even leave things up for interpretation, it just leaves most of what they set up unanswered. i felt since s2 that it had been too soon to develop the story they were developing and i was right. choosing a 3 seasons arc where 2.8 out of the 3 seasons the male lead is a sympathetic and genuinely good character to make him evil and narcissistic and apathetic? makes no sense. or when the female lead used to be this complex morally grey character and at her last hour becomes isolated once more and is quoting things straight out of 2014 tumblr? i mean really? wtf.

the other characters didn’t get to do enough across these seasons. they were cannon fodder for david’s story/development (or lack thereof) more than anything else. once they were less proximal to david, they were less relevant to the writers too.

syd and david’s relationship didn’t last nearly long enough before they were thrust into ghastly new territories. and the same goes for everyone else’s dynamic on the show. far too much offscreen development occurred. farouk having a change of heart? you truly couldn’t pinpoint any point where farouk ever felt sorry for david or cared about anyone else but his self. he’s been nothing but condescending, sadistic, manipulative, and countless other atrocities. d3 and the summerlanders being comfortable with farouk with no mind control at play at all? get real. kerry and syd’s friendship was nice tidbit but we didn’t see it develop at all. it would’ve been important to see these female mutants develop a relationship. it’s the most frustrating thing aboutall of this. clearly more time was needed.

we needed more time for these things to feel truly earned. but noah was way in over his head because of how busy he became by the time s2 swung around and decided to cut the show short. i don’t buy for one minute that 3 seasons was the plan all along. everything about legion’s story progression beyond s1 screams improvisation and a messy one at that. there wasn’t enough time for these characters to breathe, too much characterization and story had been retconned to get the ending over with, and legion choosing to end where it began, except all the characters we loved are gone, all the things that made the show most important to us are gone, feels more depressing than i thought it would.

it’s going to be difficult rewatching the show especially from its flawless premier season, knowing none of it happens at all. it’s literally unfathomable to think that 3 years later this is where we’d be. i’m so disappointed.

#legion fx #david haller #sydney barrett #amahl farouk #lenny busker #text post

72 notes · View notes

tays2centsonstuff · 4 years

Photo

UNDER THE SKIN, 2013

synopsis: a mysterious young woman seduces lonely men in the evening hours in scotland. however, events lead her to begin a process of self-discovery.

director: jonathan glazer writers: walter campbell, jonathan glazer, based on the novel by michel faber stars: scarlett johansson, jeremy mcwilliams, adam pearson

genres: drama | horror | sci-fi | thriller

country: uk language: english filming locations: scotland, england

runtime: 108mins

---

overall opinion:

this movie caught me completely off guard. and it took me way too long to finally check it out. now, I love me some good indie movies but the «problem» with indies is that because they aren’t hyped and reviewed 10,000 times over, it’s up to you to take the risk with those you feel like could maybe be good / interesting. and the synopsis just did sound a little too weird even for my taste.

so two days ago I finally watched it. and it stayed with me so long, I watched it again 24 hours later.

I must say in the beginning I had no idea what this was going to be and my enthusiasm was limited. there was virtually no dialogue (I believe the first words are spoken around the 13min mark and it barely counts as dialogue). the main character, who remains nameless throughout the movie, barely does anything worth mentioning at all. and yet, I was captivated. I found myself completely ignoring my phone (which is usually in my hand while watching tv) because there was no dialogue and everything that happened was visual. it was a very unique experience, and the way scarlett johansson managed to bring the character across, seeing our world from alien eyes, still gives me goosebumps.

you see, while the story / plot sounds extremely weird, the plot is not even important here. what this movie is trying to do is give you an experience. it’s visually stunning, and the eery feeling you have watching scarlett guide her alien character through this human experience stays with you long after the movie is over. at least that’s what it was like for me.

a little tip: I would encourage you to watch the movie twice. once without any sort of information (to get that «wtf feeling»), and then again after reading up on it (and maybe my review). believe me, it wasn’t until I watched it with all that background knowledge that I started to realise why I liked it so much, and it gave me a completely different layer of appreciation for it.

---

if you have not seen it, I would invite you to stop reading here and come back once you have as the following paragraphs will contain spoilers (my thoughts to major plot points) and I would hate to influence any sort of experience you might have watching it.

---

now, I might be slightly biased here because I love scarlett, but she completely made this movie. the way she manages to portray that alien person, her face utterly emotionless, her body language not giving anything away, was simply stunning. there are multiple long shots of her just staring into the distance (or at her own face in a mirror), utterly expressionless. and while a lot of people might say portraying no emotions is not as hard as portraying fake ones, I believe that replacing or covering a real emotion with a different one is much easier to accomplish than completely wiping your face off anything that makes you human.

the most fascinating part, for me, was the nude scene (yes, there is a nude scene). and people who haven’t seen the movie would probably be like: DAMN, HOW SEXY. NAKED SCARLETT JOHANSSON. yeah, no. the thing with that scene was, and that’s why it was one of my favourite scenes in the movie, is that scarlett, with her absolutely amazing body (and believe me I’m the first one to be absolutely jealous of it because she is gorgeous), manages to make the scene devoid of anything sexual. you see, in that moment, she is an alien figure for the first time starting to feel human. and that prompts her to explore her humanity – her body, her shell, that is still so foreign to her. we know from a few minutes earlier in the movie that she can’t eat (she tries to eat a piece of cake and then chokes and spits it out), so there are likely no bodily functions going on. so standing in front of that mirror, completely naked, she is exploring it for the first time. there are lots of very close shots of pretty private parts, and yet still… it is absolutely not sexual in any way. it’s very matter-of-fact, exactly as a strange entity would view our body seeing it for the first time.

it is not until she actually decides to have sex with a man that she discovers that she is in fact, not as human as she was feeling. and I think it’s at this point that she realises that she just does not fit in – no matter how much she wants to. she is not human.

confused and probably the closest she’d get to sad, she flees into the woods where the final scenes take place which for me, with all the rest of the movie already giving me an eery feeling, were the worst. I HATE rape scenes, even attempted ones, especially when it happens to someone I care about (even when it’s acting). seeing favourite people / actors in situations like that spikes my anxiety. it was brutal, and scarlett’s face absolutely killed me. like, thinking about it makes me weepy.

so I had very mixed feelings about that final encounter but in a way, it made sense. she went from predator to prey, thus completing her transition into a human woman. because in a very twisted (and in our society sadly still accurate) way, she experienced what it was like to be a human woman alone in the woods. the most ironic part was that, since we already discovered that she couldn’t physically have sex, he would have probably fled once he realised that. but her fighting back (which again, probably was human instinct after all), caused the skin / disguise to rip and him to see what or who she truly was, prompting him to burn her alive.

---

why it stayed with me:

I think the reason why I kept staring at the tv for minutes after it faded to black, and why I barely slept that night, and why I got this eery, haunting feeling is because in the weirdest way I related to the character a lot. I have spent the biggest part of my life feeling alienated, not fitting in no matter how hard I wanted to. it’s a feeling that will stay with me forever. I now have friends and I feel like I’m doing okay in london, but seeing movies with outcasts as characters always bring be back to that feeling of emptiness and loneliness. it’s very hard to describe and probably sounds crazy. I had similar reactions to lisbeth sanders in «the girl with the dragon tattoo» or martha in «martha marcy may marlene». feeling detached from people, misunderstood, alone – I feel those things in my bones whenever I’m reminded of them. movies that focus on those characters tend to trigger that feeling, leaving me feeling empty for at least a few hours after.

---

favourite scene / moment:

the nude scene, and not because scarlett was completely naked but because of what I said earlier – the way she managed to completely show a close-up of her body without making it sexual in any way.

---

what I didn’t like:

honestly, I don’t know. maybe the only piece of criticism I can offer is that there was little plot, but even that isn’t really true. there was a lot of plot if you paid attention.

---

interesting trivia / fun facts:

a lot of the movie (and almost all dialogue) was unscripted. the scenes where she is walking through glasgow or driving in her van were filmed with hidden cameras, the people in the shots only informed after it had been filmed to get the okay to use the material. those were people’s genuine reactions (for example when scarlett fell, or when she spit out the cake). the men she talks to from inside her van were random passers-by. after I learned that I rewatched the movie and it added so much to the experience from an acting standpoint.

and I just kept thinking, damn scarlett is fucking brave. not only did she show her entire body in a very exposing way, but she behaved like this alien figure in public and did things considered embarrassing or even rude without anyone knowing it was for a movie (her fall even made it into a viral meme because a paparazzo thought she was just out and about as herself and took a dive). that takes a huge amount of balls. forget hollywood blockbustery – to me, this is real fucking acting.

also, the movie was at least 4 or 5 years in the making, and scarlett and jonathan mainly developed the story and everything after they started shooting.

---

favourite quotes:

female: «so why do you shop at night then?» deformed man: «people wind me up.» female: «how?» deformed man: «they’re ignorant»

---

rating: 10/10.

honestly, watch it. tell me what you think.

#movies #under the skin #2013 #scarlett johansson #scifi #indie #horror #thriller #drama #jonathan glazer #tays2cents

6 notes · View notes