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#return of the thief
itsallwearecalledtodo · 28 minutes ago
The thing with the glove, isn’t that something similar to what happened in Henry V???
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The books if they were titled from Sophos’ perspective:
Book 1: Who’s This Guy And Why Is He Cooler Than I Am
Book 2: I Wonder How Gen’s Doing
Book 3: oh
Book 4: Guess Who’s Baaaaaack
Book 5: Eddis Eddis Eddis Eddis Eddis Eddis
Book 6: When Did We Get Here I-
(and if the series were titled after him it would be From Bunny to Rabbit, thank you for your time)
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return of the thief - megan whalen turner
my playlist
final thoughts:
hoooly crap what a perfect final book. literally i cant think of anything that would have improved it!! easy 10/10.
i love pheris so much. having an explicitly autistic main character was something ive been looking for in books, and so to have him in this final book was such a treat. i would do anything for him. hes such a great pov character, and his journey from hiding how smart he is, to betraying eugenides, to bonding with him and working together with him 🥺 it felt so genuine and earned and was absolutely wonderful. at the same time, his hiding also allowed him to be a perfect narrator, since nobody else would have witnessed all these details and small moments! mwt writes disability so well i think, from pheris to kamets eyesight to gens hand, because its never their whole existence, but also isnt forgotten, and is always plot relevant in ways that put them in a situation where they wouldnt be otherwise! very great and inventive, and always a bit surprising! it just feels so organic, yknow?
i really enjoyed all the intrigue in the first half, and watching pheris establish himself at court, particularly when he interacts with relius!!! (and oh my god the relius/teleus reveal was SO SWEET, thank god the ending made it clear that they get to reunite post-book!!) ugh literally just the whole book was perfection.
the plot was so gripping. i read the whole second part in one shot on a day off, and was glad for it- if id tried to pause more often it would have been torture lol. the prophecies had me expecting him to 'fall' in some clever and heartbreaking way the whole climax of the book, on the edge of my seat waiting for the clarity that these books always unveil all at once. and good god did it deliver!!! the whole part where they were in the mede camp i was losing my mind.
actually while i was reading and got to The Quote (it will be so!!) it hit me like a truck what first got these books on my radar. i had seen the AMAZING graphic of that quote by @monstress
and literally, sans context, i thought it was the coolest shit id ever seen in my life, and just knew i had to read the books!! (so thank you very much for that :D because i love these books so much) i saw the graphic so long ago that id forgotten about it (literally my copy of the thief sat on my shelf for like three months or so) but when i got to the quote i had chills as i remembered what had gotten me to read these in the first place. it was honestly the perfect way to wrap up my experience!
and the ending being happy... was NOT expecting that and im so soft over it. the dancing scene at the end had me tearing up, and aaaaaaaa they had twins 🥺🥺 gonna be thinking about that for the rest of forever, thanks!! what an experience. probably going to reread these books soon so i can reexperience them knowing the contexts, i want to see how many plot bread crumbs i can spot now that i know whats coming haha
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One of my favourite moments in the entire series is when Eugenides and Attolia are locked in a room together while about a third of the palace are hovering apprehensively outside the closed doors wondering who will come out alive but Attolia was just Stroking His Hair.
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The books if they were titled from Eugenides’ perspective:
Book 1: I’m So Cool
Book 2: I’m So Cool But Also Can Someone Help Me Tie My Hair Back
Book 3: If Someone Calls Me Kingly I will Hook Them But Look at This Fancy Hat (still cool though)
Book 4: Well Look Who Decided to Show Up
Book 5: Wouldn’t They Be Cute Together 😏
Book 6: Ok But That Spin Move Was Kinda Cool Though
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soc-ck · 2 days ago
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Incorrect queens thief quotes part (2/?)
Inspired by a text post from @readingaway
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*watching the medes approach on elephants*
Xenophon: oh my gods they have elephants.
Attolia: oh my gods they have elephants.
The Entire Sounisian Army: oh my gods they have elephants.
The Entire Eddisian Army: oh my gods they have elephants.
The Entire Attolian Army: oh my gods they have elephants.
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RotT page 269 summary:
Teleus (in Relius’ office): one day you may be in love.
Pheris: *confused*
Teleus: *not at all subtly describes his relationship with Relius as romantic*
Pheris (internally): sounds kinda gay to me.
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I love Eugenides for so many reasons but here’s an appreciation post for when he played matchmaker to Costis why-did-I-punch-the-king-in-the-face Ormentides and Kamet I’m-too-good-for-you-filthy-Attolians-even-as-an-ex-slave Kingnamer and sent them away to be gay live together probably because he thought they were cute together which they absolutely were.
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basileiasmoon · 10 days ago
Aaaaah Eugenides' daughter is the new thief.......... EUGENIDES IS A DAD wtf
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clenastia · 11 days ago
me, in a truly desperate mood to read fanfic.
but not any of the fanfic on my to-read list.
There are so many ongoing fic I wanna read right now but I CAN’T cause no updates yet and maybe I should just give in and read one of those fics I was saving - I do that sometimes, where I find an author I really love, and when they have new fics I save them to read when I’m having a bad day but like this isn’t a bad day but NOTHING ELSE IS GOOD ENOUGH AAAAA-
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secretaryofthearchives · 11 days ago
i read rott very fast while i was sick and sleep deprived, so every once in a while i’ll see a post analyzing a scene i have no memory of reading and i always feel like
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[id: a screencap from it’s always sunny in Philadelphia with the original caption of “that doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it” edited to say “that sounds right, but I don’t know enough about rott to agree”]
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wordslikebells · 12 days ago
Have you noticed that Fordad's betrayal was more than just political as an ambassador?
Like I think Eugenides actually liked him. We could believe the image of all-powerful Eugenides always a step ahead of everything, that he was just keeping an eyes on Fordad, but we know better. We know Eugenides needs his friends and gets incredibly attached to them. These two guys were hanging out in private and drinking together!
So that scene where Eugenides promises to go after all the royalty Fordad serves if things go badly for the Peninsula? It's even more intense than we're giving it credit for.
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huilian · 13 days ago
Attolia walked into the garden, fully expecting that it would be empty. The events of this morning has no doubt circulated through the palace, and anyone stupid enough to remain in her way after that would already be whisked away by her entourage.
The garden was not empty. Her husband’s father sat on her favorite bench.
She resisted the urge to sigh. There was no doubt that this was Eugenides’s doing. It was very tempting to just turn around and leave, but if this scheme of his didn’t succeed, then her husband would surely just plan another one. Better to get it over with.
“Leave us,” she commanded to her retinue.
“Your Majesty,” the guard lieutenant protested, but she only needed to look at him before he nodded and started to station guards around the clearing they were in.
Then, she turned to her attendants, who glanced at each other nervously but thankfully did not protest. After a few seconds, they curtseyed to her and walked back to the entrance of the garden. Only Pheresine remained by her side until they stood just before the bench where her husband’s father was sitting, and then Attolia dismissed even her. She curtseyed, knowing her sovereign too well to protest, and then, after a look to the Eddisian Minister of War, she too left.
He did not rise to greet her. She did not insist upon it.
He did, however, move to provide space for her on the bench. She eyed the stone next to him, but eventually relented and sat upon it.
They did not look upon each other. They did not acknowledge one another beyond what they had already done. They just sat there, next to each other, both looking straight ahead towards the gardens Eugenides had once been stabbed in.
They sat like that, in silence, for a long time. Long enough that Attolia started to feel the chill of the stone leak through the layers of her skirt. If she was able to feel it, then the man sitting next to her certainly could, especially after the beating he both received and meted out this morning. But he did not say anything about it, and so she too did not.
They would have sat there until nightfall, but something caught her eye. An orange blossom, falling down in a graceful arc in front of her. She tracked the movement of the flower with her eyes until it finally landed, with the petals up, right at the feet of her husband’s father.
Attolia closed her eyes, before finally saying, “I cut off his hand.”
The Eddisian Minister of War didn’t reply.
“I cut off his hand,” she said again, “and you strangled him.” She paused, turning to face him for the first time since she sat down. “I’ve trapped him in this cesspit he calls my court, and you’ve beaten him half to death.”
Again, he didn’t reply, but he tilted his head slightly, acknowledging all that Attolia had said.
Nothing more was said. Nothing more needed to be said. They had done what they had done, and nothing could bring back what they had lost, not even the Great Goddess herself.
Attolia turned back, facing the gardens once again. They sat together in a facsimile of peace, staring at the same patch of the garden, before the bells finally rang, signalling the changing of the hour. Attolia rose, intending to go about her business of running a country in the verge of war, when she heard a soft voice from beside her.
“He is my son.”
Without turning, Irene replied, “He is my husband.”
She walked away from him, intending to collect her attendants and guards to walk back towards the palace’s building, but before she was even halfway out of the clearing they were in, he said again, “Irene.”
She stopped. It was the first time he had called her by her name. She was always ‘Your Majesty’ to him. Never in all of his visits to the Attolian court had he called her by her name, as was his right to do so as her husband’s father.
She turned back.
“He will be grumpy in the morning,” he said.
“He is always grumpy in the morning,” she replied.
He smiled.
She returned it.
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alsogiraffes · 17 days ago
You know, Stenides is the son of the Minster of War, grandson and nephew and cousin to three generations of Eddisian rulers, but he’s also a watchmaker and so I wonder if he ever had anyone try to stiff him on payment, like “oh yeah the watch is great, I’ll get you the rest of the money next month, for sure” or worse, trying to be finicky and pretend like the work is not satisfactory. 
I’m pretty sure that if anyone ever dared to try it, it wouldn’t happen more than once or at worst twice. Eugenides would definitely steal his brother’s work back. And if it’s on the altar of the god -- well then, even if you DO pay, you’re not getting your frickin’ watch back. Better go order another and pay this time.
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thecrenellations · 19 days ago
one more possible version of the song of the summer is here!
The King’s Wedding Night by Erondites the Younger these lyrics by me, except the ones that are from Return of the Thief performed and produced by @love-an-ood to the tune of “I Don’t Really Love You Anymore” by the Magnetic Fields for the qt discord’s song contest (check out the other entries and more of @love-an-ood’s music)
I heard she took his right hand And that’s not what he planned Palace hunting dogs’ barks aren’t worse than their bites He keeps his one dear limb in mind Says “The other’s gone but now her kingdom’s mine” The Thief of Eddis on his wedding night
All his boasts will fade as promises from moonlight All Attolians know to cast goats out by midnight
He thought our queen was his to take A mistaken little snake Who would rather have his cousin than his wife Keeps his own dear love in mind Says “You’re more beautiful but she is more kind” A fool to say so on his wedding night
I hear Eddis hosts the hottest sports in winter But it’s summer and the king is no inventor
He tells lies but cannot lie Cursed to fall though he may try Gift-stealing yet ungifted, full of spite At the bat watch he will whine By the dog watch he will leave resigned The king on his ill-fated wedding night
Keeps his own dear love in mind Says “You’re more beautiful but she is more kind” The tragic tale of the king’s wedding night
Keeps his own dear love in mind Says “You’re more beautiful but she is more kind” The sorry song of the king’s wedding night
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