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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.

this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.

DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if you’re like me, ummmmm...

alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.

BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST, THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and misha’s attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, don’t ask them questions about it. ever!!! that’s super weird, for one thing, and for two, they won’t give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, y’all. let’s continue.

so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:

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as far as i can tell, it’s from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchester’s birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, let’s get into it.

right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what we’re venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha face™ & grin???

so let’s break down what happens with timestamps and everything.

so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:

‘My question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who you’re with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and it’s unintelligible)’ ….i’m solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to ‘was the one’. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)

Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?

*both of them laugh*

Jared: I’m just kidding-I get what you’re trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-

*both laugh again*

Jensen: (sarcastically) Let’s start with her.

Jared: (repeats) Let’s start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like ‘I am not interested in getting in a relationship’ and then she and I went on a date and I was like, ‘I can’t go anywhere else. I’m not interested.’ So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so that’s not enough, I don’t think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I don’t know, I can’t really...if I could explain, I’d be a poet.

here’s where things start to get interesting. before jared says ‘If I could explain, I’d be a poet,’ Jensen’s face looks like this:

stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:

go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jared’s joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!

now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. that’s it, that’s the reason.) i don’t think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensen’s thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensen’s head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile. after that remark...jensen’s gone. he’s whipped. and he HAS to say something about it.

continuing from where we left off:

Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet. (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but it’s too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now i’m writing about it five years later)

Jared: But uhh…

Jensen: (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over.

i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what he’s been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.

*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*

Jared: Uh… *thinks in silence for a bit* It’s really difficult, it’s really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...I’m in a position where I don’t love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...she’s just an awesome, awesome lady.

*audience claps*

alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for what’s happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensen’s mind off about misha, and i think it was the ‘the one’ comment. if we’re putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesn’t HAVE a ‘the one’. he resents thinking like that. i’m also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and can’t really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said ‘i miss (maison)’[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i don’t think anyone would believe him, and i think he’s incapable of doing so because he’s not a dishonest person and can’t lie easily. i’m the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and i’m 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he can’t make himself speak well on it. he’ll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHIND the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, we all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think he’s doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only ‘one’ for him, because that’s simply not true, and he can’t and won’t lie about something like that.

i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensen’s body language as he’s processing the question. here they are:

from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen:

looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jared’s comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jared’s ‘i would be a poet’ comment happens while he’s coming down from that

i mean, this obviously doesn’t necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in?

anyway; so then jared’s done, he slaps jensen’s thigh to indicate it’s his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jared’s eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime.

here’s the link for this next part

Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like there’s two types of people ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, um, but I think it’s a, uh, it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey that, uh, if you’re willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and I’m glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.

i’ll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in.

let’s start with both jared and jensen’s body language first, because it wasn’t even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jared’s face.

i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen.

these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, it’s jensen’s turn now, he’s surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and says ‘there are two-’ and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himself ‘did he seriously just say...’ and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.

i know that’s what’s happening, because this is not the first time we’ve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:

1. ‘he has, hasn’t he?’

2. ‘he sounds like that in the morning’ ‘how do you know’

3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensen’s face(and instantly understands when he realizes it’s misha)

so yeah, i’m sure you get it by now. jared can’t really keep it off of his face. there’s no real analyzing to be done here...it’s just an obvious tell on his part. there’s no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadn’t just said something jarringly questionable.

as for jensen’s body language, i can’t really tell where he’s looking from either angle of both videos i’ve seen. sometimes it seems like he’s looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i don’t think there’s anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, he’s not shying away because he’s not lying about anything. like...everything he’s saying is true, so he’s not going to have any tells. and it’s the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.

now for what he actually says. because oh my god.

right off the bat, he says “i kind of feel like there’s two types of people..” and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms of ‘this is about daneel and only daneel’....isn’t this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him was ‘how did you know they were the one?’ and he goes ‘actually there’s TWO types of people’ ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand.

and then he goes “in regards to marriage and the one”. i hope i’m not the only one who noticed he said the words ‘the one’ in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like he’s almost mocking that sentiment. i swear i’m not making it up, it really sounds like that to me.

and then he says “-it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you.” *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, there’s absolutely no risk with daneel. that’s not a judgement, because i love her; it’s just true. she’s a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. i’m not sure what risks he’s taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, don’t you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldn’t you use words like ‘she both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same time’ and NOT this convoluted mess of ‘there’s two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the same’?

SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says gen’s name, even. and uses ‘she’ and ‘her’. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.

because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not.

the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesn’t know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.

because he goes on to say “I kind of find myself in between both of those.”

he doesn’t say ‘i find myself in between both of those...with her.’ nope. he’s just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee.

“And it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, but I think it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey...”

every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). there’s no ‘partnership’ in here, which does only apply to two people.

lastly, “i’m glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.”

ok, look. you can easily say that it’s just one person he’s talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles we’re talking about. jensen ‘rock and pebble’ ackles. jensen ‘mish. dee.’ ackles. so yes. i definitely think that ‘the partner and the teammate’ fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate.

to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isn’t about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isn’t.

i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole ‘the one’ debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. there’s no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology.

tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is no ‘the one’ in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about ‘the one’ because he has TWO ‘the ones’. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core don’t think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?

sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough.

#helloooo cockles truthing community #my anxiety is sky-high rn bc this is so damning for them #but i mean i can't feel bad because jensen SAID those things.#anyway am i contributing to cockles lore??? god i hope so #i mean it when i say i am SWEATING #if you think i'm reaching...i know more than you #rps for ts #team dumpster mansion #cockles confirmation #cockles #jenmish #long post for ts #cockles meta #relationship spec #all that jazz #jensenxmisha #mine

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astudyinfreewill · 3 years

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alright so. 14x10 ‘nihilism’. written by yockey and directed by amanda tapping so i already knew i was in for a treat but holy shit.

it’s 2am and i am processing so this is neither exhaustive nor polished but uh. so michael traps dean inside his head and we get to see the fantasy he’s stuck in. hold that thought.

let me just jump ahead to sam and cas getting inside dean’s head for a second. let me feel some type of way about cas noting - in a somewhat aghast way - the sheer amount of trauma in dean’s brain. like!!! you’d think cas knew, having pulled dean out of hell and everything, BUT. cas was very much just castiel then. an angel, more empathetic than most, with too much heart definitely, enough heart to start feeling for dean - but he didn’t know dean. he wasn’t in love with dean yet, or at least he didn’t feel that love in a human way. imagine cas now, with all the feelings and trappings of humanity, having to come to grips with the fact that dean’s mind holds that much horror and pain inside it. that’s a whole other level of heart-wrenching. like-- he knew dean had suffered but now he knows dean has suffered. it hits different. I have to wade through all of Dean's most terrible memories, he says, filled with dread.

(and then, of course, we get sam’s tragicomic statement that - well duh, of course michael wouldn’t keep dean HERE, dean thrives on trauma!!! because it’s all he’s ever known!!! like. the delivery is funny but the statement is deeply deeply heartbreaking).

so. they have to head towards contentment. and what does dean’s contentment look like?

a bar. not a bar to get wasted in but a bar that he owns. not a fancy bar, either, it’s kind of empty and dingy, because this is definitely not dean at his happiest; either the amount of stress and self-loathing he carries makes it impossible for him to envision true happiness even in his mind, or michael simply didn’t want him to be too content bc he’s a bitch like that. but still, the bar is his and he refuses to sell it. (I've never had anything this nice, he says, breaking my damn heart in the process). nice or not, the bar, ultimately, most importantly, is a place of his own, where he can be safe and provide shelter and hospitality to other people. a place where he’s not hunting (though he will still fight monsters if he has to).

i repeat: HUNTING IS NOT PART OF DEAN’S CONTENTMENT. he will stay at the bar, and he will fight if necessary, and fight damn well, because he’s good at it. but mostly he will wait for his family to come home, and he will feed them and pour them drinks and shelter them from the pouring rain. do you get that??? do you understand how insane it makes me??? dean’s source of contentment being the obtaining of a home that he’s been yearning for since he was four and had it ripped from under him??? dean AS THE HOME, as the nurturer and carer and protector of the people he loves??? and like!!! a part of that contentment is specifically waiting FOR the people he loves to come back to him - to come home to him, because he wants to be somebody’s home!!!! (that he can’t really envision it happening until sam and cas crash into his mind is its own different brand of tragedy but i digress).

and of course, there’s pamela. pamela who’s been a fantasy before, but never an attainable one - pamela of the ‘jesse forever’ tattoo, pamela who teases threesomes and immediately negates them by being intentionally too outrageous and including sam in the suggestion. pamela is a safe and reassuring fantasy because dean can’t get her: because she’s taken or because she’s too much for him or because she’s dead or because she’s... plainly put, not what dean really wants. which, deep down? he KNOWS.

DEAN How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN Whoa.

PAMELA Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN All right.

isn’t that just. unhinged???? dean acknowledges that he wants what he can’t have. and he’s not talking about pamela, of course he’s not talking about pamela, a minor character who died all the way back in season 5. what he wants is the person he’s waiting for at the bar -- and who yet never seems to arrive (the person who’s always leaving, always leaving, and not nearly coming back enough). what he wants is the person that he thinks he can never have, because surely angels just don’t feel that way, right? when they try to care it breaks them apart. it can’t be. it can’t ever be, but he can wait for cas, in case he ever decides to come back, and he can pour him a drink when he does.

(this is even confirmed in a roundabout way by michael, because we know this michael blatantly lies: e.g. he tells sam dean was at his happiest when sam left him alone with their (neglectful, abusive) dad, when we know that dean was miserable. and he also tells cas dean only tolerates him out of obligation/gratefulness, so... pretty safe to say dean feels the opposite, and that in fact he very much wants cas for himself.)

my two main takeaways here are: one, that dean’s contentment - not even his perfect dream, not even his happy ending, but the baseline for dean’s contentment - depends on having a home of his own, quitting hunting, caring for his friends and the people he loves. so, you know, well fucking done on delivering that with the finale.

and two, that even in his own head, even when trapped in a fantasy that is literally trying to keep him from yearning for the outside world, dean is still just hoping for the bare minimum for himself, still always waiting for the people he loves to come back to him and stay, and he can’t even conceive of having what he truly wants -- what he’s waiting for, always endlessly and inevitably waiting for -- because the one thing he wants, it’s something (he thinks) he can’t have. sound familiar?

#spn #dean winchester #dean studies #destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn watch #spn meta #14x10 #YOCKEYNATURAL YALL!!! YOCKEY FUCKING NATURAL #anyway i need to sleep like an hour ago hopefully this will make sense in the morning #ambra.txt #long post #ish #mp

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undertalethingems · 3 years

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Howdy! uh i have this question and i am sorry if you already answered this but Why Frisk in unexpected guests doesn't do the genocide round? i mean i know they kill some of the monsters before they know how to get the true ending but why not do the genocide round? also i am so sorry for my bad english :C i am from spain and it's kinda hard write in a lenguage that is not your first lenguage haha. I hope you see this and i love your job :D

Well, they didn’t do it because it never even occurred to them to try it! The runs where they killed monsters mostly happened because they couldn’t always figure out how to spare them or, early on, didn’t know they could. they didn’t intentionally kill anyone just to see what would change, or see how many they could kill.

Frisk in my comic has made their share of mistakes, but they’ve always wanted to do the right thing and help people if they can; they’re a good kid at heart.

That’s the in-story explanation, anyway. The other reason is that I don’t want to write a Frisk who’s done every route. The fandom was already saturated with it by the time I got into it--which was only a couple months after the game came out... So, it’s more fun for me to do something a little different, and having characters not know everything often makes for a better story :>

Hope that answered your question! ^^

#undertalethingem chats #unexpected guests lore #for a game that can be played in so many different ways... people sure decided on only 1 course of events huh =-=

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writing-gifts · 3 years

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both sides of the viewfinder ch. 2

adult film star!bruno x afab!reader (they are also gn)

18+ content

chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4

-----

A/N: okay so this story is actually 4 chapters long now, the 2nd chapter was way longer than i would have liked (and taking too long to edit all at once) so i split it in half

um ig that's it, there’s a cheating scenario porn being filmed this chapter, like its literally the beginning of this chapter so warning for that

other than that i hope you like the chapter!

-----

You hold back the laugh in your chest and try your best to keep a relaxed face. But you didn't have great control when it came to stuff like this and realized quickly in life that you probably wouldn't make it as an actor. However the director still thought it was fine to put you in as an extra with speaking parts.

He said your acting didn't need to be believable or good just that you need to say the lines. That was objectively true--it was porn--but if you cracked a smile people would definitely notice.

You were playing the oblivious person having a conversation with your "best friend". And said friend was getting railed in the shower by your boyfriend who was being played by Bruno. Why you were trying to have a serious conversation while she was showering was completely lost on you. But it didn't have to make sense.

You stare at yourself in the mirror above the sinks. The way the restroom was set up had the shower and toilet in its own separate, little room. So it wasn't completely easy to tell what your friend was really up to.

"My boyfriend's been acting strange recently," you say. You try to sound down but come off more inconvenienced.

"What do you mean?"

The door to the shower room was open so you could hear your friend well even with the water running. So of course you notice her voice wobble at the end. You can't tell if she added that intentionally or if Bruno found a particularly good spot. You ignore it though since you weren't actually supposed to notice anything just yet.

"He doesn't seem very interested in me anymore? Like he doesn't want to have sex with me. And it's kinda weird since he always wanted to before!"

"Ah--!"

“Huh?” you reply, genuinely confused. That wasn't on the script but you knew pretending you didn't hear it would be worse.

“Ahhh, maybe something has been upsetting him recently?” she suggests.

"Oh...perhaps you're right." You move to pull out your phone from your pocket. "It's been bothering me so much so maybe I'll call him right now--"

"D-Don't stop!"

You turn towards the shower room. "What? Are you good? You sound like you're exercising in there."

"Yes yES--I'm good! Just hot in here…"

That sounded so real and it has you wondering what the hell Bruno's doing.

You pause for a split second too long and almost forget to say your next line. "Uh so you...don't want me to call him?"

"No, don't call him. You should s-speak to him in person!" Your friend seemed to finally get her voice under control.

"Oh! That's definitely a better idea." You put your phone away. "I think I'll head home now actually and wait for him. Thanks for hearing me out!"

With that you exit the bathroom set and breathe a sigh of relief. Now all that was left to do was wait for filming to finish and then you could head home for the day.

You join the crew and from where you're standing you can easily watch the two actors go. It was actually kind of nice to watch.

While you stare, Bruno seems to glance in your direction. You raise a brow, wondering why he looked over here and turn around to look behind you, but there's nothing of note there.

-----

"You're not going home yet?"

You turn in your chair. Bruno stands at the door watching you with crossed arms.

"Nope. I'm finishing this up for one of the editors--they weren't feeling well--and I don't want to take it home with me."

"I see," he says. He then walks in the room and pulls up a chair next to you which catches you off guard.

"You don't have to stick around! I'm probably gonna be here up until midnight."

"That's okay. I don't want to leave you here all alone. What are you editing anyways?"

"Well I'm working on one of your porns. The one you did last week."

Bruno leans forward, getting in your space, to see the screen.

"Ah, the one with Leone! That one was really nice, but I always enjoy working with him."

"Yea the two of you have great chemistry."

Abbacchio was a grumpy bitch but somehow the two of them got along pretty well. Bruno seemed to get along with most people easily though.

The man places his elbow on the desk and rests his head in his hand.

"So did you like it?"

"Like what?" you ask.

"The film."

The look in his eye was one that was quite familiar but why it was there, you weren't completely sure.

You feel your heart skip a beat. "I mean...I did."

Bruno smiles and you immediately feel yourself getting hot.

"What did you like about it? If you don't mind me asking."

A small smile comes to your lips. "W-Well you're in it, that's one. I like when I can tell the actors are genuinely having a good time. And both you and Abbacchio are attractive. Your m-moans were pretty nice too."

"They sound better when they come naturally hm?"

"Can't disagree with that!"

You turn your attention back to the screen. As much as you'd like entertaining Bruno you still need to get this done.

"You seem less reserved in person compared to when we message on Twitter."

"Really? It's usually the opposite for people…" you say.

"I know that's why I find it interesting." The man pauses for a moment before talking again. "Remember when you said you watched some of my work?"

You nod.

"For fun?"

You raise a brow but still answer. "I like to judge the camerawork, but sometimes I do for fun.”

Even though you were kind of over porn, there were the few times that you used it to help get off. And when you did you usually found yourself seeking out media involving Bruno.

Bruno lets out a laugh. "That's good to know."

You purse your lips at his smug expression. The man is definitely trying to mess with you. Of course you didn't mind some teasing but being the only one receiving wasn't your forte. Also you didn't want to be here all night.

"I need to finish this. You can stay but you can't keep distracting me like that..."

"Of course."

You look at him warily before getting back to work. Even though Bruno didn't really seem it, he definitely had a mischievous side.

The man watches the screen (and sometimes you), keeping you company with more innocent chat while you work. It actually makes time pass by faster.

You end up finishing earlier than you expect and thank Bruno for staying with you. The man offers to drive you home but you decline and take the bus instead.

The moment you're in your bedroom, your body hits the bed--no night routine or clothes change. You'd just have to deal with it in the morning.

It barely feels like you've been asleep before you hear your alarm go off. You grab your phone and shut it off.

Sighing, you risk closing your eyes for a few more seconds. You weren't ready to go back to work but after a minute you force yourself out of bed and stretch.

You head straight to the bathroom to start your day by brushing your teeth and multi-task with your phone--checking your work email and replying to any missed messages that you didn't get to last night. Other than that your morning starts off pretty uneventful.

While you're eating breakfast you get a message on Twitter.

Bruno: Morning.

You reply with your own good morning. The message surprised you but it was a pleasant one.

Bruno: How are you feeling? Not too tired I hope.

You: i'm okay now that i've had some coffee

You: how's your day going so far?

Bruno: The usual. I'm walking over to a restaurant nearby to get something to eat.

You: ooo sounds yummy 😋

You: what ya gonna get?

Bruno: I'm not sure yet but I'll send a picture when I do.

you: noo i'll be jealous, i'm literally eating cereal right now. but also please do send it

Bruno: I can bring you a to-go box if you want.

Your spoon stops halfway to your mouth.

You: i mean it's still good cereal so you don't have to

Bruno: It's fine. I like feeding people, at least that's how one of my friends phrased it!

You: well…..okay 👉👈

You: thanks ❤

Bruno: You're welcome.

Bruno: ❤

-----

"Off day today?" you ask.

Bruno drags his fingers through his hair and sighs. Other than that, he doesn't show any frustration.

"I planned for today to be short, then I could head home but as you can see it's not really going as planned. And all these lights…." He looks at you. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you're tired too."

"No, no it's okay. It’s totally my fault! We can take a break if you want?"

The studio had been dabbling with more amateur work lately so the director had left you and Jocelyn to handle this, and Jocelyn had decided it would be fine if you were on your own for this film. You weren't sure why you agreed since you had only been here about a month at this point and didn't feel completely comfortable. But you did and it was proving to be very nerve wracking. It affected your work and dragged this out longer than necessary.

“And honestly, I should probably take one too," you add.

Bruno agrees and you grab the man's robe and place it on his shoulders. While He slips back on his briefs you turn to the small crew.

“Guys lets take a 15 minute break.”

Everyone gives their okays and most of the crew leaves the room while a few check the equipment or their phones.

You tell Bruno where you're going and head outside to get some fresh air.

You try to use the time to relax but instead end up walking back and forth, worrying about the film and Bruno. The man was still able to act the part but you stopping and going so often was definitely affecting his performance. And you really didn't want him to have to act out every motion.

You stop walking and lean against the wall of the building. While waiting for the break to end you see someone approaching from the parking lot. The editor you helped before when they weren't feeling well.

You push yourself off the walls and meet them part way with a greeting.

"Hey Eli."

"What's up ____...You good? You look kinda stressed."

"I guess I am. Sorry for asking so suddenly but could you do me a favor?"

"What type of favor?"

"I'm supposed to film this amateur video of Bruno masturbating, and I've been having a hard time for some reason. I don't want to keep Bruno trapped here all day for something like this. But I don't know if my shots are usable...Do you think you can check for me?"

They hum in thought. “____ I'm going to be honest with you. It sounds like you're overthinking this. I mean, it’s called amateur for a reason. It doesn't need to be super high quality or “perfect” shots! That's probably why they let you direct it on your own."

At that moment everything clicked.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way though!"

"No, you're right. Thanks!"

You leave before they can respond and head back to the set room. On your way there, you go find a different camera. Something smaller and less complicated that will still capture good quality shots--perfect for what you were about to do.

When everyone returns from their break you have most of the lights brought down and let the whole crew go.

"Bruno I know you do videos on your own. So we're pretty much gonna do it like that now. Except that I'm here...uh.” You laugh. “You know what I mean."

Bruno smiles at the camera in a way you could only describe as cute.

"I understand. I’m ready to go whenever you are."

You nod and give the signal.

Right away, his light smile transforms into something more alluring. He leans back on the multiple soft pillows set against the headboard and lets out a relaxed sigh.

You give Bruno a moment to prepare himself and when you see the outline of his cock already hardening through his briefs, you internally breathe a sigh of relief.

"It's been awhile since I've last done this."

He props a arm atop the pillows. "Now that it's happening, I just realized I've missed it."

You want to ask what he means but bite your lip instead. Maybe it was some type of roleplay.

He drags a hand up his thigh before stopping at the bulge between his legs, and you can't help the thought of running your own hands against those legs.

He hums. "You know, I have a hard time keeping you out of my mind at night."

Your stomach flips but you make sure to keep your breathing controlled.

His thumbs hook under the band of his briefs and you lean a bit forward without thinking, anticipating what you had seen many times before. But for the first time in a long time you feel yourself slipping from your work frame of mind. Maybe it was inappropriate but you were sure Bruno wouldn't mind.

After teasing you for way longer than you would like, the corners of Bruno's lips quirk upward and he finally pulls down the band to reveal himself.

Bruno's cock stands erect and his brow furrows. "Look what you're doing to me..." His head lolls to the side to rest against the pillows and his breath hitches when he begins to stroke himself.

You focus on his handsome face for a moment. His blue eyes are piercing and it feels like he's looking past the camera and straight at you at you.

Your fingers twitch on the camera. You'd never wanted to touch someone so bad in your life.

-----

Bruno: Can I get your advice on something?

You: yea, what is it?

Bruno: I want to post some photos on my OnlyFans but idk which one to use on Twitter though. Can you help me decide?

You: ooo of course!

He sends 3 pictures of him wearing different elaborate lingerie. They must have been new since you're sure you'd never seen them before. Anyways, you're a millimeter away from sending a photo of a cartoon character with their jaw on the floor.

You: idk if i can decide! any of them would be enough to get me on your onlyfans...

Bruno: Thank you but you still have to pick one.

You scroll back and forth looking through them. The pictures were teasing, hinting at what was to come and they were all very sexy. But after staring for too long you finally make a choice.

You: the third one!

Bruno: Why?

You: ….it shows your tiddies the most 💁

Bruno: I thought you were going to say something about the framing or lighting...

You: LOL

You: i can look at them again?

Bruno: No it's okay. I'll use the tiddy picture.

Bruno: Thank you.

You: no problem!

You: soooo when are you posting the full set?

Bruno: Trust me, I'll let you know right beforehand. 😏

You: 😳

-----

You walk down the hallway slightly annoyed. Jocelyn just informed you that you would be covering for one of your coworkers last minute. It was inconvenient but not that big of a deal. That is until you found out that Melone was one of the actors.

When you first met him, he seemed to keep to himself for the most part. But recently he had become fixated on you. Every break in filming he’d approach you.

At first it wasn't so bad and you thought he was trying to be friendly, but it didn't take long for you to start feeling uncomfortable. Some of the questions he asked made you feel weird--it wasn't anything you weren't used to but the way he asked them... And when you tried to steer the conversation into a different direction he didn't take the hint. On top of all this, you didn't see him do this with anybody else.

You walk into the breakroom and find Bruno snacking. He greets you but quickly realizes something's up.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

The leather couch that you hate creaks when you fall back on it.

“Well I have to unexpectedly help with more camera work today. And Melone's going to be there so he's definitely going to be talking my ear off.”

You try to sound indifferent about it but Bruno says something you don't expect.

"I can talk to Jocelyn and get you out of it."

"Huh? No, no you don't need to do that. That's a silly reason to try to skip out."

"Well, how about I say it like this? I'm done for today and I would like to take you out to eat with me."

You smile. "That does sound nice..."

"Okay, it's settled then. I'll go talk to her and then we can go."

Once Bruno comes back the both of you walk to his car.

"Eating mostly oatmeal and vegetables for the last 2 days hasn't been very satisfying," he says as he opens the passenger door for you.

You get in and wait for him to walk around to get in the driver side.

"It sucks but at least you can eat whatever now. Where are we eating by the way?"

"Bertolino's--it's nearby. I'm craving pizza. Or pasta."

You feel your stomach grumble pleased with the thought.

"You could do both, kinda like macaroni pizza."

Bruno glances at you. "That sounds...unpleasant."

"Oh so you've tried it?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

You watch him try to wrack his brain for a rebuttal and fail.

"...It still sounds bad though," he says.

"Try it first then we can talk."

You reach out and poke the man's cheek. He immediately shoos your hand away and throws a miffed look at you.

"Hey, I'm trying to drive."

You grin but leave him alone. This was the first time you'd get to spend time with Bruno outside of work so you were a little restless and couldn't help messing with him.

"This is probably the most excited I've seen you," he says.

"Yea--just happy to be outside of work!"

"Is Melone that much of a problem?"

"No...well he can be a lot but it's not really a big issue. I'm just happy to get to spend time with you is what I meant."

Bruno's doesn't respond right away and you wonder if you said something wrong.

"If he's bothering you I can handle it," he finally says.

You let out a laugh. "Are you going to beat him up?"

"If necessary."

You stop smiling when you realize he isn't joking and conclude that he doesn't like Melone. You wonder what the man could have done to get on Bruno's bad side though since he seemed to get along with everyone.

"I feel the same by the way," Bruno says.

"Huh?"

"About getting to spend time together."

You and Bruno spend the next hour and a half sharing a pizza and talking. And the two of you learn a few things about the other that didn't involve work. Like that he wears glasses to read and that he had a dyeing "accident" with his hair recently.

Afterwards you didn't really feel like going back to work so Bruno drives you home.

You unbuckle your seatbelt. "Thanks for the meal and ride."

Bruno smiles. His mood seems better now that he's eaten. "You're welcome. We should do this again sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that." And instead of saying goodbye and getting out of the car, you sit there expecting--expecting something.

The both of you stare at one another until Bruno leans towards you. His lips meet yours and for some reason his breath smells like mint.

Before you can worry about your own breath, Bruno's hand is on your thigh and sliding up. His tongue presses against your lips, coaxing you to part them.

The beating in your chest feels so hard and your hands clinch next to your thighs. You want to reach out for Bruno and make a mess out of him, but you feel like you're running out of breath way too quickly.

You pull away.

Bruno immediately moves his hand off your leg. "What's wrong?"

You weren't really sure yourself. You just knew something was bothering you. Or maybe that was just the food you ate trying to digest. Either way it was preventing you from fully enjoying this.

"I'm not sure but I think it's best if we stop for now."

He nods but you worry he might be a little disappointed.

"That's fine," he says.

"It's not because I'm not interested! It's just something's off. Please dont think I'm not attracted to you."

"I'm not upset ____." He smiles. "I want you to be comfortable."

"Whew, okay.."

"Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?" he asks.

"That's okay. Thanks though."

You brush a misplaced hair behind his ear and press a quick kiss to his lips. Once you pull back, you open the car door and step out.

"Stay safe," he says.

"You too. I'll message you later."

#i sure do love dragging things out!#im excited for the last chapter cause i wanna post something resort-y #like hell yea vacation!#ive never been to a resort in my life so we are going to pretend lmao #bruno buccellati x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno x reader #not sfw #n$fw

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hanemiso · 4 years

Text

Wish I Were Tohru

>>> a sohma yuki x reader <<<

genre: lil fluff, lil angst??

warnings: none

song: heather by conan gray

synopsis: you’ve been able to get close to the Sohma and become close friends with him. you have feelings for him, but you’re pretty sure he has feelings for Honda Tohru.

a/n: I love this boy and he needs love, I AM HERE TO SUPPLY LOVE 🥺❤️ honestly Yuki is my favorite from Fruits Basket, Haru being a close second and Kyo a close third!! I just don’t see enough Fruits Basket content on here so I thought maybe I’d make some, but this one is kinda shitty ngl. It was long but it just doesn’t feel like my best work. But, I’ve been working on this for a while, so I thought I’d post it anyway heh :)) I guess this means I officially write for Fruits Basket now!!!

It all started the 3rd of December, when your feelings for Yuki made themselves apparent. On that winter day, you were freezing because you weren’t wearing a warm enough coat and Yuki gave you his sweater while you two walked to school. Your cheeks warmed up quicker than the rest of your body as he smiled at you and wrapped his sweater around your shoulders. With a close-eyed smile, he warmly said that it looked better on you than it did on him; those words struck a cord in your heart, and from then on you accepted the fact that you had fallen for the boy who had become your closest friend.

Of course, you got shit for it from his fan club and they relayed all the rules of the fan club to you during lunch. But after that incident, some of the girls from the fan club began asking Yuki for his sweater, to which he shot them down nicely. That small action didn’t go unnoticed either, and made you feel like he only ever did that for you, and made you fall even harder for the Sohma.

It’s been months since that instance, and you haven’t said anything to him about your feelings because you didn’t want to look like another one of the girls from his fan club desperate for his attention and love. But, seeing as you two have grown closer and you’ve gained enough confidence to do something about your feelings, you decided yesterday that you would confess to him today.

You walk up to him in the hallway during passing period, slightly shaking from nerves, and get his attention by calling his name. He turns around and smiles at you, earning you a glare from the class president who was talking to him earlier.

“Oh, l/n-san, hello!” Yuki greets warmly.

“Hey Sohma-kun! Can I...” you start, but trail off as you see his eyes drift away from yours and land on someone behind you. You glance behind you and see Honda Tohru, your friend, walking down the hall with Uotani and Hanajima. When you look back at Yuki, you can see his eyes follow her figure as she passes, gazing softly. Seeing that makes your heart drop, along with your confidence level.

When he looks back at you, you shake out of your thoughts and quickly say, “uh, sorry, I meant to tell you I’m busy after school so I won’t be walking home with you guys today.”

A look of confusion crosses his features briefly, but is replaced with a smile as he answers with, “Oh, alright. I’ll let Honda-san know.”

You thank him with the best fake smile you can muster before quickly walking down the hall to your next class. When you’re far enough away, your smile drops, as does your gaze. You definitely took notice of how Yuki’s eyes seemed to brighten as he watched Tohru walk by, brighter than the blue sky. It was a look you were sure Yuki never bestowed upon you, but you understand why. Obviously, Tohru is very pretty; definitely a sight for sore eyes. She’s so kind and thoughtful, among other things, Her personality draws people to her, and you can understand why. And because you can understand why Yuki would gaze at her like that, your confidence plummeted and your confession got caught in your throat. But you didn’t want Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru to know your mood was gloomy, which is why you chose to walk home alone today.

They shouldn’t see you in such a down mood stemmed from jealousy; it’s not fair to them and it would only make you as mature as his fangirls. Jealousy is not a flattering color, after all.

On your walk home, the moment replayed in your head. Your brain kept trying to pick apart his facial expression, hoping to find some solace in the evidence of a misunderstanding. Finding optimism in the hopes of a misunderstanding, you walk along the street with your head held high, deciding to try again tomorrow.

But, oh how unfortunate you’d be this week.

The next morning, there’s news of chilly weather for the rest of the week, right when it was starting to warm up a little. It doesn’t matter much to you, seeing as you grab a nice coat this time to keep you warm. You walk out the door and see Yuki and Kyo standing in front of your house, waiting for you to join them on the walk to school. Their attention turns to you as you approach them, and they greet you. As you greet them back, Kyo shifts his stance a little to reveal Tohru standing behind him with a smile on her face...and Yuki’s sweater pulled over her uniform. The same sweater he had given you to wear in December. The sweater you thought he had only given you to wear.

And yet again, your confidence plummets into the floor. All you can do to keep your mood seemingly high is smile and remain silent on your walk to school. Yuki and Tohru are caught in a conversation the entire way, which Kyo sometimes comments on, but Kyo notices how quiet you’ve gotten and how you won’t make eye contact with any of them. He ruffles your hair, causing you to look up at him in surprise because he doesn’t do that unless he’s trying to lift your spirits.

“Do you wanna...talk after school?” He asks, turning his head away from you.

You smile, knowing he’s trying to give you support. Kyo was always like that; he does care a lot, but he doesn’t always know how to show it.

“Yes, thanks Kyo-kun.”

“Alright, spit it out.” Kyo says, leaning against the wall.

You sigh, turning your gaze to the ground as you try to explain everything to him. It all sounds really stupid to you when you say it out loud, like it’s not a big deal...but it feels like one. It feels like he’s messing with your emotions, but Yuki’s not the kind to do that intentionally. Once you’re done spilling your guts to Kyo, he continues to stare at the tree in front of him as your hands begin playing with the ends on your skirt.

“It’s stupid, I know. And it’s not like I hate Tohru-chan, I could never. She’s such an angel, I can understand why you’re both so drawn to her. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if Yuki was in love with her. I just...I wish...”

I wish I were Tohru.

That’s what you wanted to say. Jealously really is an ugly shade.

“Uhm, never mind, Kyo-kun! It’s nothing, I promise. I shouldn’t be complaining like this; I shouldn’t burden you with this nonsense, especially when it’s about someone you dislike.” You add quickly, concealing your true feelings with a close-eyed smile.

Kyo looks at you with wide eyes, surprised at your change of attitude. Sure, he doesn’t really care about anything that has to do with Yuki, but when it also concerns you, a close friend, he cares a lot. The fact that you tried to invalidate your feelings pisses him off, but he tries putting that aside as he faces your retreating form.

“W-Wait, y/n-”

“Uhm, let’s go Kyo-kun! I’m sure you don’t want to be here any longer than you already have to.” You smile at him, taking steps towards the school gates.

That fake happiness; the facade you’re hiding behind to mask your hurt feelings, it’s definitely becoming more transparent to Kyo as all the words you uttered about the issue swirl in his mind. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never cared about Yuki or what’s going on in his life, so how can he possibly give advice on an issue concerning him?

As you both walk in silence in the direction of your homes, Kyo replays your words over and over in his head, trying to think of something to say to encourage you in some way.

“L-Listen, don’t give up so easily y/n! Just tell him how you feel, I mean you’ve come this far! You know how much I hate that rat, but he’s not...a bad guy. And if I’m wrong and he breaks your heart, I’ll break his stupid face for you!”

You look up at Kyo in surprise, cause you know that must’ve taken a lot out of him to say something semi-nice about Yuki. He doesn’t dare make eye contact; his head faces away from you as his shoulders tense and he balls his fists. Something about how reluctant he is to admit it makes you laugh, and your laugh causes his eyes to widen as he looks at you.

“What? Are you laughing at me?!” He exclaims.

You shake your head with a soft smile on your face, a genuine smile.

“Nope, nothing of the sort. Thanks Kyo-kun, I won’t give up on my confession! Yuki and I planned a study session for tomorrow, so I’ll plan to confess to him then!”

“Good.”

After you changed out of your uniform at home, you set off for the Sohma residence. It’s not a long walk from your house to Yuki’s, so you slow your pace a bit to take in the scenery and steel your nerves.

After talking with Kyo yesterday, you hadn’t exactly figured out how you were going to tell him, or even when. Lucky for you, the study session you both had planned a week ago was an early one; close to right after school, maybe about an hour or two off?

After trekking up those myriad stone steps, you knock on the door of the Sohma residence. After a couple seconds, you hear Shigure’s voice on the other side of the door as he slides it open.

“Ah, y/n-chan! Hello!” Shigure greets with a smile.

“Hi Shigure-san, is Sohma-kun here?” You ask, smiling back at him.

“Oh, Yuki-kun? He’s been gone for about an hour or so with Tohru-chan. I’m not sure when he’ll be back, but would you like to wait for him here?”

Oh. He’s out with Tohru. Even though you guys had plans. It’s likely that he forgot, but it’s not like you guys made these plans a while ago; it’s been a week!

Your smile falters a bit, but remains on your face as you answer Shigure with, “Oh, I see. Thank you for offering, but I think I’m just going to head home then! Have a good day, Shigure-san!”

You bow to him before turning around and stopping in your tracks. At the top of the steps stands Kyo, staring at you with confusion written all over his face. You walk up to him and smile before trying to walk past him.

“Wait, y/n, what happened? I thought you and the rat were studying today.” Kyo asks, causing you to halt.

You bite your lip, swallowing your emotions, before turning back to Kyo with a pained smile and answering with, “He’s out with Tohru-chan right now. It’s fine, he probably just forgot. I’m just, uh, gonna head home now. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kyo-kun!”

Kyo stands there in disbelief as he watches you walk down the steps. He’s pissed now; after he admitted the rat wasn’t a bad guy, he does something like this. To his close friend, of all people! Don’t you mean more to the rat than anyone else?

Kyo grits his teeth as he runs to the house to ask Shigure where Yuki and Tohru are. Shigure gives him the vague answer of a certain shopping district across the city, and Kyo sets out to find Yuki to set him straight. The image of your sadness seeping into your smile is burned in Kyo’s mind, making him even more upset.

Kyo makes it to the shopping district about a half hour later, running from shop to shop. He asks store clerks if they’ve seen anyone matching the descriptions of Yuki and Tohru, but each one says they haven’t. Hours pass before Kyo approaches the last store and sees the silver-haired male standing outside with Tohru by his side, looking like they’re having a grand time. Kyo runs up to the two and grabs Yuki by the collar of his shirt, causing Yuki to stare at him in surprise and annoyance.

“You stupid rat! How thoughtless are you?!” Kyo starts, tightening his grip on his shirt.

“Let go of me, stupid cat.” Yuki deadpans.

“Does y/n mean nothing to you?! How dare you treat her like trash!”

“What are you talking about?!”

“You ditched your study session with her today to go out with Tohru! Do you enjoy hurting her or something?! Cause you seem to be doing that a lot lately! Do you not care about her?! If you don’t, then why don’t you just say it to her face instead of making her sad every day!”

Yuki’s eyes widen as realization hits; he totally forgot about the plans he made with you today. The guilt he feels outweighs the anger swirling in his chest every time Kyo accuses him of not caring about you. He pushes Kyo off of him and hands Tohru the bags in his hands, all except for one.

“I’m sorry, Honda-san! I have to go!” Yuki apologizes quickly before sprinting out of the shopping district.

Yuki scolds himself for being oblivious to your feelings as he runs down seemingly endless streets. Yuki always cared for you; you were the one close friend he had before Tohru came into his life. Lately he’s noticed that thoughts of you are all that consume his mind at night, and the way he feels different around you than around anyone else. But, our poor Yuki has never felt this way before; he doesn’t know why he feels like this or what to do about it.

But when he heard that he forgot about his plans he made with you, and how that hurt you, he felt like the lowest of the low. How could he skip out on plans with you? How could he hurt you?

The sun begins to set as more tears adorn your notes. You weren’t really sure why you were so upset; it’s okay that Yuki is happy with Tohru. It’s not even a big deal that he forgot about your plans...so why did it hurt most to think he forgot about you? All these doubts begin swarming your head, causing more tears to fall, as you hear knocks on the front door.

You quickly wipe the falling tears as you walk to the door, trying to compose yourself for whichever visitor stood at your door. Your eyes widen as you open the door to see a heavily panting Yuki standing in front of you. You quickly plaster a smile on your face as you attempt to greet him.

“Sohma-kun? Are you alright? What are you doing here?”

“l/n-san, I’m so sorry! I completely forgot about our plans today and went shopping with Honda-san. I never meant to make you sad, I just-”

“Yuki-kun, can we...talk? Somewhere else? Let’s, uhm, go for a walk real quick.”

You grab a pair of slip-ons by the door and head outside, leading Yuki to a nearby kid’s playground. You both sit on the swings and silence envelopes you two as you gather your thoughts. Yuki stares at you as you stare at the ground, waiting for you to scold him or do anything to let him know you were fine.

“Yuki-kun...I still remember the third of December; me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew...how much I liked you. How much I still like you. I remember how every girl from your fan club asked you for your sweatshirt, and how I felt special when you turned them down. But, I’ve seen the way you look at Tohru-chan when she walks by. And I get it, Tohru-chan is very beautiful. What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky. And I’ve been noticing lately how your gaze on her lingers, and how your face softens when you speak to her. You gave her your sweater to wear, too...not that it matters, I guess. Anyway, as my feelings for you continue to grow, I begin to see...and understand, how and why you like Tohru-chan so much. I mean, she’s an angel! She’s so kind, thoughtful, and caring...I understand why you’d want her. And why you wouldn’t want me. I mean, why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater; it’s just polyester. But, you like her better. And I’m able to accept that, as long as you’re happy, Yuki-kun! I just...sometimes...I wish I were Tohru-chan.”

Yuki stares at you in disbelief as you continue staring at your feet, a single tear falling from your eye. He really is oblivious. His brain can’t even begin to compute the misunderstanding going on here. After all, he has feelings for you too. So, just how did it end up so bad, he wonders. He finds it so hard to believe you reciprocate his feelings, and that while trying to find a way to confess to you, he was hurting you instead.

“I-I love you, Yuki-ku-”

Yuki’s body moves as if on instinct, kneeling in front of you with his hands caressing the sides of your face. He smashes his lips against yours, only realizing what he’s doing once he feels you kiss him back. He pulls away almost as quickly as he placed his lips on yours, a blush creeping onto his face. You stare at him with wide eyes as he collects his composure and wipes a stray tear from your eye.

“l/n-san, I...I love you, too. What you saw between Honda-san and I is a big misunderstanding, and I’m sorry not seeing how I was hurting you. I’ve been spending more time with Honda-san this past week because she was helping me figure out a way to confess to you. Shigure suggested making you jealous like the love interests in his romance novels, and I honestly don’t know why I listened to him; I knew it was a terrible idea. But, that’s why Honda-san was wearing my sweater yesterday. When I thought that didn’t work, Honda-san suggested getting you a gift, which is why we went shopping today. I was so caught up in trying to make you happy that I forgot we made plans today. And instead of making you happy, I made you cry. Love isn’t really a feeling I’m fond of; I’ve never really experienced feelings this intense before. It took me a while to realize you were the reason my heartbeat quickened; why my stomach did flips, why warmth would spread in my chest. But when I found myself wanting to be with you every waking hour, I panicked. Truth be told, you’re the person I hold closest to my heart. I don’t let people in...from experience. There’s so much darkness that doesn’t reach the surface, so many things I can’t say just yet. But I will tell you in time, because you’re the person I trust most, and I’m learning slowly how to let people in. In the meantime, the one thing I can say with certainty, is that I love you...and I want to make you happy, if you’ll let me.”

Yuki takes your hands in his and smiles warmly at you. Worried that words will fail you, you nod with a grin on your face. The night air sends chills down your spine as you gaze happily at the boy in front of you. Yuki takes notice of the goosebumps rising on your skin and smirks a little, pulling his hands away from yours to grab the bag on the ground next to him.

He hands it to you while saying, “I have a feeling this’ll come in handy right about now.”

You take the bag from his hands and open it, revealing a familiar sweater. You press it against your chest, smiling at Yuki. You look down at his sweater and realize he's wearing the same one; he got you a matching sweater.

“You just looked so cute when you wore mine...” He smiles shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I love it, Yuki-kun! Thank you!” You exclaim, throwing it on.

It was just polyester, but it now meant more to you than you thought it ever could.

#fruits basket #yuki sohma #yuki x reader #anime #fruits basket x reader #song fic #fruits basket one shot #kyo sohma #tohru honda #yuki sohma one shot #this is bad #fruits basket writing #heather by conan gray #rat boy is precious #he deserves love

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fanimesenseiwrites · 3 years

Text

Asmo's Faux Pas

This story was inspired by a daily chat with Asmo. The chat, for those of you who haven't seen it, is just Asmo desperately apologizing for something. So it got me thinking, what could Asmo have done that would have the MC so pissed? This story also features my genderfluid MC.

What happens when Asmo tries to get the MC to do something they really don't wanna do?

Hoshiko threw the front door to the House of Lamentation open and then slammed it closed behind them.

"Why are we slamming doors?" Lucifer asked them, his tone vaguely admonishing. He was walking down the stairs as he did so.

Hoshiko stopped briefly to look and point at him. "Fuck you." They immediately turned and headed towards their room.

Lucifer was so taken aback that he couldn't immediately respond; but before he could follow after Hoshiko, Asmo ran into the house, also slamming the door open.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at him. "Again, with the door slamming?"

Asmo looked up at him, looking panicked. "Sorry, sorry! Did you see which way Hoshiko went?"

"I believe they were going to their room."

"Okay!" He ran off in that direction.

"Hey!" Lucifer called after him and followed him quickly. "What did you do?"

Asmo chuckled nervously. "What makes you think I did anything?"

"Asmodeus," Lucifer's tone was icy, similar to when he was scolding Mammon.

Asmo shivered. "Okay, I upset Hoshiko but I'm trying to apologize, I swear!"

"You better fix this, if they run around pissed all week, I will be pissed."

"Yeah, yeah I get it!"

They ran into Hoshiko and Mammon talking in the hallway right in front of Hoshiko's room.

Hoshiko glanced at them when they walked up.

"Hey Mammon, do you wanna take a bath with me?" Hoshiko asked him loudly.

Mammon blushed. "Oh... uh..."

Asmo pouted. "Don't do that, you're just trying to make me jealous."

Hoshiko snapped their head towards Asmo. "You know what they say about assuming things, Asmodeus," their tone was cold as they said his full name.

Asmo shivered and pouted. "Please don't be like this," he pleaded as he walked over to them.

"Like what? Righteously furious at your audacity?! Your insensitivity?! Your crass and crude behavior?!"

Asmo gasped. "I am never crude!"

Then Beelzebub walked in from the kitchen with a bag of chips. "Why are we yelling?" He asked in between mouthfuls of chips.

"Because Asmo tried to get me to have an orgy in the club!" Hoshiko revealed, still staring Asmo down.

Beel choked briefly on the chips he was eating.

Mammon's jaw dropped and his head snapped to Asmo.

"Asmodeus," Lucifer's tone was deadly.

Asmo blushed, now embarrassed. "Come on, it was just a misunderstanding..."

"No! A misunderstanding is ordering me the wrong drink, not intentionally luring other demons to our private room with the promise of sex with the Avatar of Lust and a human sorcerer... and Solomon wasn't there!"

"But you said-"

Hoshiko interrupted him. "Whatever I said, it wasn't "I want to engage in an orgy with you!" Much less in a public place!"

"We had a private room!"

"You're missing the point!"

Hoshiko had let themself get so worked up that an magical aura was oozing from their body and it could be felt throughout the whole house.

The other three brothers had come downstairs to investigate.

Mammon nudged Hoshiko when he noticed his other brothers.

"What?" They snapped at him.

Mammon flinched but then nodded towards his other brothers at the end of the hall. "Don't you think you're kinda worked up?"

Hoshiko looked at everyone and then took stock of themself. "Oh," they took a deep breath and the aura disappeared. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize..."

Asmo stepped towards Hoshiko but they stepped back.

Asmo frowned.

"Asmodeus," Hoshiko's voice was cold and commanding. "Go to your room and think about what you've done."

Asmo whimpered but did as he was told, not as though he had a choice.

Hoshiko waited until he was out of sight before grabbing onto Mammon's arm.

He looked at them.

"I'm gonna collapse..." They told him shakily.

"What?" He was barely able to register what they said before their legs gave out from under them.

Beel swiftly scooped up Hoshiko before they had a chance to touch the ground.

The brothers all rushed to Hoshiko's side.

"What was all that?" Satan asked Hoshiko.

Hoshiko sighed and shook their head. "I got out of control... I was just so angry..."

Satan chuckled softly. "I understand that."

Hoshiko started to cry.

"Hey, don't cry. Asmo, totally deserved you yellin' at him," Mammon told them.

"But I yelled at him in the club too, in front of all those other people... he may be an idiot but he's still one of the seven rulers of hell, what if I ruined his reputation? He's supposed to be really powerful and me, some little nobody human brought him to his knees... I might've ruined him..." Hoshiko sniffled and wiped away their tears, though they kept coming.

"You're not nobody..." Mammon told them as he gripped their hand.

"You're too good," Beel told them as he squeezed them comfortingly.

Lucifer walked over to Hoshiko and wiped their tears with a handkerchief that he pulled from his breast pocket. "I appreciate your concern for Asmodeus, for my brother, but I assure you that he will be fine."

Hoshiko nodded and sniffed.

"I think it's best if you just rest and calm down for now."

"Yeah... can I have ice cream first?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Of course."

"Can I also have ice cream?" Beel asked.

Lucifer sighed. "Yes."

"Me too?" Mammon asked.

"Yes, everyone can have ice cream! Don't ask me again."

Hoshiko laughed.

They all headed into the kitchen to get some ice cream.

Beel set Hoshiko down on a stool when they got in there.

"You didn't have to carry me all the way in here, " Hoshiko told him.

Beel shrugged. "I was already holding you."

Lucifer got the ice cream out of the freezer, but he seemed to pull out way more than could fit in the freezer.

"... is there a pocket dimension the freezer?" Hoshiko asked jokingly.

"Yes, " Lucifer replied seriously.

"Oh..."

"Only I can open it, so someone doesn't eat all the ice cream."

Hoshiko looked at Beel but he was already digging into a carton of cookie dough ice cream.

Hoshiko chuckled and shook their head.

"Everyone has their own ice cream, so this also prevents anyone from eating anyone else's."

"Oh, well I don't-"

Lucifer handed them a carton of rocky road. "You don't what?"

Hoshiko grinned as they took it. "I love you."

Lucifer smirked. "I know."

Satan handed them a spoon.

"Thank you." They took it and started eating. "... I appreciate y'all. I hope you know that."

The brothers all looked at Hoshiko.

"We appreciate you too. You've done a lot for this family," Lucifer told them.

"You are family," Belphie corrected him.

Lucifer nodded. "That's right."

Hoshiko smiled at them and put the lid back on their ice cream. "I think I'm gonna go take a shower, I feel gross."

Lucifer took the ice cream from them and put it away. "Go relax, let us know if you need anything."

Hoshiko nodded and went to their room and showered. They were laying on their bed trying to relax when they got a text message from Asmo.

- Hoshiko! There's no need to ignore me is there?-

Hoshiko sighed and just stared at their phone.

-I really do regret what I did. I swear, you can take me at my word.-

Hoshiko scoffed and thought about how they should respond.

Asmo texted them again before they could reply.

- Please, I can't stand being neglected.-

- You haven't blocked me have you???-

- Because I'd cry my own eyes out if you did that. Drown in my own tears.-

Hoshiko was trying to respond to him but couldn't do it faster than he was texting them.

- but not before storming into your room to... have a chat of course.-

- my door is locked- Hoshiko finally got a chance to respond.

- That's nothing that Beel can't handle for me-

-I don't think he'll help you right now.-

- Either way, it's a load off my mind that you hadn't blocked me! It's as if color has come flooding back into my once drab and sullen world!-

- I'm hungry now, would you like to go get something to eat with me?-

- I'm not hungry- Hoshiko replied.

-I know that's not true because we didn't eat dinner.-

Hoshiko scowled at their stomach when it growled, betraying how they really felt.

Hoshiko was surprised when they didn't get another text message from Asmo. They started to text him first until there was knock at their door.

"Hoshiko?" Asmo's voice came from the other side of the door.

Hoshiko got up from the bed and walked over to the door, but didn't respond.

"I really am sorry. I took advantage of your kindness and didn't take your feelings into account before making a decision. I really realized that once you blew up on me. I just want you to know that from the bottom of my heart, I apologize... is there any way you can forgive me? I don't think I could handle butting heads with you for the rest of my life... why, it'd be a fate worse than death!" He chuckled but he still sounded sad.

Hoshiko started to cry quietly.

"So what do ya say? Can I take you out to eat to apologize? I want to go back to the way things were..."

"Asmo..." Hoshiko sobbed.

"Can I have one more chance? Please? I swear, I only need one."

Hoshiko opened the door to look at him, tears in their eyes.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you in the club."

Asmo chuckled and wiped the tears from his own eyes. "You're sorry? I'm the one at fault here."

"I felt bad about yelling at you in front of people and all your brothers said I was too nice," Hoshiko laughed but was still crying.

Asmo moved to wipe Hoshiko's tears. "Are you hiding a halo and wings somewhere? Because you're an angel."

Hoshiko hugged him. "I forgive you."

Asmo hugged back and squeezed them. "I'm truly glad that you've decided to give me another chance."

"... my life would be dull without you in it as well," Hoshiko told him.

"Oh you're so sweet, I could just eat you up!" Asmo kissed their forehead.

Hoshiko chuckled. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Hoshiko," Asmo told them as he stroked their cheek.

"... you really wanna treat me to dinner?" Hoshiko asked.

"Yes. Whatever it takes to get back on your good side," Asmo told them.

"I just wanna go to Hell's Kitchen, is that cool?"

Asmo nodded. "Sounds perfect."

Hoshiko grinned and kissed his chin.

Asmo smiled and kissed Hoshiko.

They kissed back as they gripped Asmo's blouse.

"I think you were only mad at me for a couple hours but I would've thought it was a lifetime..." Asmo told Hoshiko.

Hoshiko chuckled. "It's all water under the bridge now."

Asmo nodded with a radiant smile. "Come on, let's go eat."

Hoshiko nodded and held his hand.

Asmo kissed their hand before leading them out of the house.

#I don't get a lot of inspiration for Asmo so I really like this one actually #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me fanfic #my work #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me mc #my obey me mc #Hoshiko Higure #asmo and mc #asmo x mc

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md-admissions · 3 years

Text

2020 (The dumpster fire) in review

I’m BACK after a long, long year. I’m working on figuring out the evolution of this page/blog. It’s brought me a lot of joy over the years and I want it grow as I grow. What that means, I’m trying to sort out.

But for now...let’s talk about THE year.

1 - What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?

Survive a pandemic, publish in JAMA, start teletherapy, enjoy dating, kiss someone while sober, I ALSO KINDA DATED SOMEONE, GUYS! Got broken up with, healing from the break up, started a twitter, took on leadership roles I’ve never taken on, took my ID Boards exam, gave job talks, interviewed for jobs remotely, bought a recording microphone, lost 50 pounds (intentionally!!). Started a master’s degree, QUIT the degree program. 2 - Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept 5 out of 7 of my New Years resolutions!! So I’m absolutely making more.

3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?

Guys...nine people. Count ‘em. Nine people. All my close friends. Gave birth. Like...end me.

4 - Did anyone close to you die?

No but I knew many who died. Or bore witness.

5 - What countries did you visit?

I narrowly avoided country-passed quarantines in January as I flew back from Asia. Won’t say what countries for now.

6 - What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

More progress in radical honesty, vulnerability, healing traumas that have held me back from creating healthy boundaries. More time with friends, more art, more music. More time unafraid to love and be loved. 7 - What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

11/4/2020. Took my ID boards that day.

8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Publishing in JAMA with a colleague I have the privilege to call a phenomenal friend and the best collaborator I’ve ever had.

9 - What was your biggest failure?

Waiting so long to finally hear my inner voice tell me that master’s degree wasn’t where or who I was anymore 10 - Did you suffer illness or injury?

Minor things. 11 - What was the best thing you bought?

The lap desk I’m currently using. Or my noise cancelling headphones. 12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?

My ID division. We fucking came together during this horrible shit. I’ve never been prouder or felt closer to a group of colleagues. 13 - Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?

Anti-maskers, most of the US government, the list is so long.

14 - Where did most of your money go?

Food and clothes. Clothes because I lost so much weight I needed new clothing

15 - What did you get really, really, really excited passionate about?

Excited feels like a strong word. I was passionate about many things. Passionate about BLM, PPE shortages, writing out my advanced directives. Mentoring during a pandemic, being a mentee during a pandemic. 16 - What song(s) will always remind you of 2020?

Betty Who: You’re In Love 17 - Compared to this time last year, are you: I. Happier or sadder?

Sadder, but I know it’s the only way to feel after such an awful year. And that it will take me to a happier me as I continue to work through it. II. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner

III. Richer or poorer?

Richer.

18 - What do you wish you’d done more of?

Therapy 19 - What do you wish you’d done less of?

Think that I was alone and only I could solve my problems 20 - How will you be spending/spent christmas?

Christmas at home with some Chinese take-out and watching It’s a Wonderful Life

21 - Did you fall in love in 2020?

No but I learned to really like someone without becoming infatuated 22 - How many one-night stands?

Zero. 23 - What was your favorite tv program?

Next in Fashion, Legendary, Bridgerton, Giri/Haji, Castlevania

24 - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Uh hell yeah 25 - What was the best book you read?

This is How you Lose the Time War 26 - What was your greatest musical discovery?

This will sound odd but...re-discovering my own love for singing and music 27 - What did you want and get?

To publish meaningful research, to break internal emotional barriers, to stop using food to address feelings and actually ADDRESS them, to make true friends 28 - What was your favorite film of this year?

Gosh...I don’t remember any this year. Was kinda...drowning in work

29 - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32 and I got donuts for the infection control and stewardship departments that I work in! I ordered fancy Thai take out. I slept in. 30 - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

No pandemic. A girl can dream.

31 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

LA pop/punk, but make it office 32 - What kept you sane?

The Ologies podcast. Intense talks with friends. 33 - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

KEANU REEVES. ALWAYS. Especially this year.

34 - What political/social issue stirred you the most?

Black Lives Matter. 35 - Who did you miss?

My best friend. 36 - Who was the best new person you met?

For all the pain I’m currently going through, a guy I met at work who I maybe-kinda-sorta-dated for 2 months. I made some wild breakthroughs and grew a lot from it, even though it didn’t end the way I wanted. I’m grateful for the me that’s growing and becoming through that experience.

37 - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:

The best, most authentic people are vulnerable because it’s scary as fuck and necessary

#year in review #2020 in review #a dumpster fire year

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galacticlamps · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @the--highlanders ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

#oh boy that was long #sorry #also sorry if the 13 is really big for some reason #i dont know how it got that way so i dont know how to change it #it doesnt look like that when i edit the post only when i save it #not fic but fic talk

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highladyluck · 3 years

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Mat/Tuon meta: Will He/Won’t He (Stage A Military Coup)

Back on my Mat/Tuon meta horse! This is about why Tuon is absolutely convinced Mat won't mount a military coup against her, and under what circumstances he just might, actually. Obviously, ‘ware series spoilers. The personal/political dynamic Mat and Tuon have at the end of the series continues to fascinate me. Tuon is well aware that Mat’s prince-consort position, Prince of the Ravens, is a position that could lead a military coup against her leadership; she knows all about the power struggle that imperialist, expansionist government leaders face with respect to their armies and the generals that lead the armies. She also knows at this point that Mat specifically has the skillset to pull that kind of thing off; he has demonstrated political skill even if he's not used to Seanchan customs (she noted that the way he diffused tension in the hell boded well for his ability to handle Seanchan court politics), he quickly inspires personal trust and loyalty in his troops regardless of what troops he's actually leading (see: when he meets back up with the Band in the Altaran wilderness, plus how quickly her own armies took to him), and of course he is brilliant at tactics and strategy (see: the entire series starting at book 4). She is also *certain* that he won't actually use that power against her. He has shown her personal loyalty on numerous other occasions, and Tuon's entire brand and survival strategy is generating personal loyalty due to her power (or potential power), skills, and personal integrity. She knows what personal loyalty looks like and she knows how it works. She's a little appalled at herself for not being afraid of Mat staging a coup, and she even thinks that it's probably not good for her or the empire to *not* be constantly threatened by her top military commander, because she's been conditioned to believe that external threats keep her sharp and focused- but she absolutely does trust him not to be a threat to her. Which is wild!!! You have to understand how wild this is!

Tuon previously only trusted her personal safety to people she thoroughly controls- Selucia, Karede, her damane. She does have a kind of control over Mat, but it's not based on anything she's done or her position, it's based on his personality and choices, and I don't think she thinks she controls him. (I think she believes she has authority over him, and that's at least somewhat true, but that's much different from the total control she has over enslaved people, or even the political control she has over the Blood.) She does also trust people she doesn't entirely control- the people who are almost her peers- but notably she doesn't trust them not to hurt her. She trusts that they'll act in ways benefiting their own self-interest or the interest of the empire, which could mean they might hurt her.

Mat, on the other hand, she trusts not to hurt her except accidentally, by making choices that have implications for her standing. (That's what all the manners lessons are about, she's trying to protect him so he doesn't leave her exposed.) Again, THIS IS WILD. Tuon’s an autocratic empress raised under the threat of assassination from birth, she has MAJOR trust and control issues, and here is someone she does not fully control but whom she implicitly trusts not to physically or even intentionally harm her. Do you think she's ever had that experience in her life before? I can't see how she would have. I think there's room to explore this in a way that would be therapeutic for Tuon, but it's also an extremely tempting vulnerability to exploit narratively. Either way, it's fascinating. So what's Mat's motivation not to harm Tuon, and how much of it does Tuon know? It's both a character thing and a situational thing, and I think Tuon knows about some of it, but not all of it, and she also has some major blind spots about what Mat is capable of. Mat won't intentionally harm her for a couple of general character reasons: he's in love with her, which she knows about and is like 'weird flex, but ok'; I don't know if she really knows how to parse it tbh. Also, because he won't kill a woman, which she knows about and is like 'this dumbassery is going to get my himbo straight-up murdered; however, it's kinda cute'. Also, because he has a saving-people-especially-women-thing, which she may or may not know about; I forget whether it came up in any of her surreal chats with Mat's childhood friends, but even if it did she may not know enough to give it proper context in his motivations, or understand how truly generalized it is. He's also promised to protect her from harm in the past, and while that may have been a time-/situation-limited thing, she's seen that he keeps his promises, assuming he gave the promise in earnest. So while he hasn't necessarily made such a promise recently, she knows that he keeps his word and that's something she values as a mark of integrity and a reason to trust someone. The other reasons she trusts him are more down to circumstances: the Last Battle had him temporarily siding with the Seanchan against their common enemy, the Dark One. I think Tuon's aware that he's not fully committed to the Empire yet, but possibly she doesn't realize the extent to which he is ambivalent, or she thinks it's the kind of thing they can compromise on, like the uniform design, rather than a fundamental disconnect in goals. Or she thinks that once he understands what his responsibilities are, he'll absorb himself into the role the way she has, which is... uh... rather optimistic of her, but we all have our blind spots. Finally, I don't think Mat's fully realized that a military coup (which would likely look like a situation where he spares Tuon's life but gets her off the throne) is an option for him. Or, it's occurred to him, but the circumstance has not yet come up that would justify him taking that path. And I do *not* think Tuon has considered this! She might think he knows that the Prince of Ravens is traditionally a threat to the Empress, but I don't recall that she's actually said that to him. And I don't think she sees a difference between her not being Empress and her being dead- she's conflated 'being in power' with 'staying alive' literally her entire life, and she probably thinks any situation where she's not Empress but still alive, if it's even possible, would be so shameful/painful it would be better to be dead. So it wouldn't occur to her that one outcome of a coup would be to replace her as government head but still keep her alive. And Mat hasn't yet faced a situation where he might have major ethical issues with not just the structure of the army but also the goals of it. (Even his iconic ‘I am accidentally leading an army despite really not wanting to lead an army, because I can’t let these dumbasses get killed’ move was ethically consistent, since he was just trying to run away/save people.) And, as I will never shut up about, he’s done literal war crimes to achieve his goals before- he didn’t stop to give aid after he ambushed the Seanchan in the Altaran forest, even though Teslyn specifically says this is against Randland military convention. And given Mat’s early canonical history of being railroaded into leading military campaigns, I don’t think Mat’s going to balk at leading the Seanchan army just because he doesn’t like the Seanchan empire, though it will matter what specifically he’s asked to do with it and why. I think Mat's way more likely to be willing to lead the reunification of Seanchan than to deal with local Westlands slave uprisings or rebellion. You're going to hit his moral breaking point a lot sooner if there's domestic civil crises. An actual slave revolt or rebellion would get hit with military force, and Mat says as much to Beslan so he's well aware that he'd be, if not in charge, certainly culpable for the Seanchan government response to it. (They might try to prevent it from happening at all with Seekers; but Seekers are mostly focused on the Blood, I think, so I think it's possible that if there's minimal Blood involvement they might not know about it in time to nip it in the bud.) So if you wanted to force Mat to have a crisis of conscience that's one situation you could set up, and I think it's even somewhat likely. Post-TG Seanchan-Westland politics are going to be a Cold War, and many entities in the Westlands would be happy to lend plausibly deniable support to an organic citizen and/or slave uprising! The other thing is, Mat needs to be constantly occupied and he does like using his skills; if he gets an 'acceptable' target for military force he probably will go for it. So if the forces in Seanchan unified under a rando warlord, he'd probably be ok leading the Westlands Seanchan troops there, reasoning that Tuon is probably a better or at least more influenceable ruler than that other guy. (Might be complicated if it was a female unifier, but probably not that much.) He would not be keen on enslaving the free Westlands- not that that’s going to happen as long as the Dragon’s Peace is going on- but a ‘peacekeeping mission in a foreign land’? ...idk, I can see him going for it, especially if he doesn't have enough political capital yet to back up an outright refusal. Mat was conflicted about using the damane he captured in the Last Battle, but he did use her. She was a prisoner of war from the enemy side, which probably eased his conscience a little re: personally owning her, but I don't see anywhere in the text that he had issues commanding Seanchan sul'dam and damane in a less personal way. The Last Battle was an unusual situation, but we've also seen Mat willing to ally or at least put up with plenty of people he dislikes- on personal and ideological grounds- to achieve a goal (see: rescuing Joline) or just figure out his options (see: all that card-playing with nobles in the Stone of Tear while he had emotions about Rand. XD)

So if you wanted to force Mat to have a moral crisis while fighting in Seanchan, you'd make the people he's fighting in Seanchan be people he sympathizes with more than he sympathizes with imperial Seanchan; let's say it's a coalition of rebels who want a different, more equal society. Mat's got gilt by association (thank you for that amazing phrase, Terry Pratchett) and he's not pleased about it, and unlike Tuon, he can envision a situation where she's still alive but not Empress. So I think that'd be another situation that would force him to have a crisis of conscience and start planning a coup or at least using his considerable power for leverage. The key in both cases is that it's not just Mat randomly deciding to take a stand for freedom; frankly, I don't think he would, unless he thought it was the best way to 'rescue' Tuon, and even then he would wait or maneuver until the tactical/strategic landscape was as much in his favor as possible, which is where the external circumstances weakening the Empire come in.

#mat/tuon #wheel of time #wheel of time meta #seanchan #mat cauthon #tuon paendrag #problematic fave tuon #wheel of time spoilers #post-canon #sorry I know no one wants to read more about coups this week

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ephemeralstark · 4 years

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The Targets We Paint

Summary: “Do you really think walking into Stark Industries with a handcuffed kid is a good idea?” Peter asked, “because the second you get in there, someone will alert the emergency services, you won’t get far.”

“You’re wrong,” and even though Peter knew he wasn’t, the complete lack of concern in the man’s voice was causing him mild anxiety. “

Well, we’ll see, won’t we?” the man asked, not remaining silent for long, “we’ll see who’s worrying about calling the cops when I’m threatening to blow your brains all over their pristine white floors.”

Peter swallowed, hard, “shows how prepared you are,” he said with false bravado, “the floors in the main atrium are black marble.”

Peter knew being Spider-Man put a target on him, but it was a risk he was willing to take for the safety of the citizens of Queens. He just never considered how dangerous it could be to be Peter Parker.

AN: whumptober day 4: prompt - collapsed building. TW for bombs, guns, violence, proceed with caution. Sorry the prompt only appears at the end whoops and this is going to be 3 parts not 2 bc i suck

Part 2 of 3

To Peter’s horrified surprised the man who was holding him started to laugh, and not a fake sarcastic laugh, but a full-bellied, shoulder shaking guffaw that made the gun against Peter’s temple shake, he could hear the bullets inside tremble. There was no more innocent hope that the weapon hadn't been loaded.

“Everyone says you’re smart, and you really are, aren’t you?” the man asked.

“Is this all an elaborate plan to test my intelligence?” Mr. Stark asked and Peter’s eyes jumped to his feet as he watched him slide a foot forward on the marble, trying to inch his way closer without being detected, “because I have to admit there are easier ways to go about that than holding my intern hostage. I’m a show-off, you just had to challenge me to an IQ test or something.”

“Is this the part where you ask me to let him go?” the man asked idly, his tone so conversational as he ignored Mr. Stark that it sent shivers down Peter’s spine as his Spidey-Sense warned him that he wouldn't be walking out of this situation unscathed.

But what could he do? The man was holding the gun so tightly to his head that if he tried anything, there was a good chance he would be dead before he could so much as turn around.

“Why would I ask that?” Mr. Stark asked him.

“Don't you care for his life?” the man asked.

“I mean I’d rather you didn't kill him in front of all of these people,” Mr. Stark said with a small shrug, “and I have to admit that I’ve grown rather fond of his inane rambling, but you don't seem to care about that.”

“Beg me to release him,” the man said.

“Is that what this is about?” Mr. Stark asked, inching closer once more. “Is this all just a power trip for you?”

Peter felt the man holding him tense, “a power trip?” he asked, and it was obvious that he was unhappy about the phrasing.

“Well, you’re walking into my building with my intern at gunpoint as you demand to speak with me, and the moment I turn up you want to hear me beg?” Mr. Stark said, “I have to admit, it seems a little power trippy.”

“This isn't a power trip,” oh, the man was speaking through gritted teeth now, Mr. Stark was definitely hitting a nerve somewhere.

“Come on, wait, what’s your name? Is it Dave? You look like a Dave, we’re all going to call you Dave now, right kid?” Mr. Stark said.

“Uh, he’s holding a gun to my head I don't think I want to do that,” Peter mumbled.

“Come on, Kid, Dave knows there are at least five guns trained on him by now, if he does anything, he’ll be dead before he hits the ground,” Mr. Stark told him as though that was meant to be reassuring.

“Maybe I don’t care about making it out alive,” Dave said, but Peter could feel his sudden tension that contradicted his words.

“Oh, you do though,” Mr. Stark said, “otherwise that bomb would have been set off the moment I arrived in this atrium, you wouldn't be bothering to try and appear more powerful than me, you would have done it instantly and it would be attached to you rather than a device in your pocket.”

“Stop… talking… about… power!” Dave said slowly through gritted teeth, the volume rising with each word that slipped out.

“You’re a little touchy on that aren’t you?” Mr. Stark asked.

“You keep trying to undermine me,” Dave snapped, “but who’s the one with a hostage right now?”

“Oh, big deal, you kidnapped a fifteen-year-old, and a pretty lanky, dorky one,” Mr. Stark said, “pretty sure Peter has never done a sport in his life.”

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said with an offended sniff, “I’m being held as a hostage, are you really going to do me the dirty right now?”

“Kid, come on, I had to pick you up last week because you tried to climb the rope and fell and somehow missed the mat?” Mr. Stark said, “like come on, that mat is huge, how did you miss? And how the hell did you fall?”

“I was showing off,” Peter lied - he had actually intentionally fallen so that people wouldn't be suspicious that Peter Parker could suddenly climb the rope, it wasn't his fault that he was stupid and misjudged the fall.

“Why would you pick him up if he’s just your intern?” Dave asked suspiciously.

“Come on, Dave, keep up,” Mr. Stark said, rolling his eyes, he was now close enough that Peter could smell his cologne, “I told you, the inane babbling grows on you, if you zone him out enough it's like there’s a toddler yapping away.”

“A toddler?” Peter asked.

“My name isn't Dave.”

“What is it then?” Peter asked, “because I’m kinda calling you Dave in my head now.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”

Dave was pissed.

Peter’s Spidey-Senses screamed at him a nano-second before he felt something hard crack against the back of his skull and a dizzy wave overtook him as he fell forward, Mr. Stark caught him just before he hit the ground, which Peter was grateful for as with his hands still cuffed behind his back he would have landed with his face hitting the marble and no way to try and prevent this.

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered to Mr. Stark, “I didn't react quick enough, he had the cuffs on before I could think.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Mr. Stark replied quietly and he helped the cuffed boy back to his feet, and Peter didn't miss the look of horror as his mentor froze and stared at his own hands that were now tainted with the blood of the kid before him, “you're bleeding?”

“The cuffs have spikes inside,” Peter said quietly.

“They wh-”

“Enough waffling,” Dave said with a tone of impatience, “tell your men to put their weapons down otherwise I’ll release.”

Peter’s gaze instantly fell on Dave’s hand that was holding the wired contraption that looked a lot like what he’d expect a bomb to look like, and then in the other hand was a button and judging from the way his thumb was tensed, he was pressing down which meant… oh.

“Mr. Stark, if he releases that…”

“I know, Kiddo,” Mr. Stark said, Peter saw a muscle in his jaw twitch, “alright, just be careful with that thing.”

“Tell them,” Dave said.

“Right, guys, you heard him,” Mr. Stark announced, “fall back.”

By that point Peter could hear the law enforcement officers outside discussion tactics and planning to make contact, little did they know that it was pointless, Dave was heading towards his endgame and it was growing more and more clear that this wasn't about money.

“If you ignite that bomb, you’re going to die,” Mr. Stark said, “is that really what you want?”

“I don't care,” Dave said, “you destroyed me, Stark, you ruined everything, and now… I’m willing to put my life on the line to get my revenge.”

“Look, this is getting old,” Mr. Stark said, trying to push Peter behind him, not that Peter would allow that, “we’ve already established that you don't want to die, so spill the truth, did you work here?”

“No,” the man scoffed, “I would never have demeaned myself in that way.”

“First: rude, and second, then why are you so pissed off?”

“Do you remember the new theory that Oscorp Industries released?” Dave asked.

Mr. Stark scoffed and let out a laugh, “of course this is related to Oscorp, and yes, I do. It was flawed and there was no way to prove it without inhumane human trials that would have risked lives and had a high rate of fatalities.”

“That was my theory,” Dave shouted, “I was queued up for a promotion, I was going to get the funding to prove it true, and then you made a statement to the press about it and they were suddenly watching us.”

“So you’re mad you were going to be held accountable?” Mr. Stark asked, “sounds like I did all the participants a favour, really.”

“You-” Dave broke off, visibly shaking with fury, “you don't get to say that, you don't get to-”

“You need to calm down,” Mr. Stark told him.

That was apparently the worst thing Mr. Stark, or anyone could have said because Dave was instantly furious. He threw everything he was holding against the ground and Peter was able to see the instantly look of terrified regret on his face that told him enough to act.

Without the use of his hands, he was limited on what he was able to do, so he used his shoulder and rammed Mr. Stark to the ground with it, the older man was taken aback with the shock of the action and fell easily, just in time for Peter to cover his body with his own as a blast radiated from behind.

It was hot, Peter thought before his attention turned to the trembling ground and he wondered whether they were unlucky enough to be having an earthquake at the same time. He would have considered it further, and perhaps he would have realised that the building was crumbling around him, but he was hit by something solid and the darkness dragged him under so that he was blissfully unaware of anything further.

Tag List: @joyful-soul-collector @thatavengersbitch @spidey-reids-2003 @clover-roseee @thespydersargon @iron-loyalty @ormbunkar @justme--emily @pookiethefrickinbunn @pillowspace @akalovelymaybe

#peter parker #tony stark #iron man #spider-man #whump #whumptober #whumptober 2020

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drawbauchery · 4 years

Text

The Second Session

fic by cartoons-tothemoon

“So, let’s review, last session, we broke you down to many of your core traits and neuroses.”

“Thanks for reminding me, it’s not like I have the capacity to remember last week.” Skipper muttered.

“Well, now we’re here to build you back up, and work from that onwards.” Hans said. He had his hands folded plainly in his lap, and he’d changed the lighting in the office. Skipper hated it. He hated having to sit across from a smug as shit Hans as he waited calmly and quietly for Skipper to begin talking, with that terrible, blinding light that gave off a strangely clinical feel that makes him more uneasy than anything else. He wonders if Hans would let him sleep for the hour he was meant to spend here. Sure, he’d be paying $35 for a nap, which was crazy in of itself, but he knows from experience that sometimes all you need is a good nap to be a functioning person again.

“I’m not in the position to really diagnose you with anything, and even if I was, I’d still need more time to get to know your mind before I could really prescribe anything for your current conditions.”

“Conditions?”

“Plural. Like children trying to sneak into a cineplex in a trench coat, what was once one turned out to be two or more disorders standing on top of one another’s shoulders. Bouts of aggression and insomnia tied to intense paranoia, a complex that comes from being a leader, and a fear of depending on others. Abandonment issues, repression-“

Skipper waved his hands in a forceful sort of wave, “yes, thank you. Just tell me what to do about it already.”

“What?”

“Just fix me already.” Skipper seemed frustrated. “You’re the one who thinks I’m broken in the first place, the only reason I’m here in the first place is to prevent any future surprise tea parties.”

Hans sighed. They were barely even 5 minutes in, and Hans just knew he was going to be spending the rest of the session constructing arguments for statements Skipper constructed in seconds.

“If this was only to prevent any more…surprise visits from moi, then I would’ve been fine with just the first session. And I think you know that.”

He did. He did know that. Hans suggested the idea of a second session, and so did Skipper, in the way that you do when you’re bonding with people you have a rather hostile history with. No commitment was really stated, which left the ball in Skipper’s court, but what was he supposed to do after that thorough deconstruction, let it simmer in his soul for the rest of his known life?

He couldn’t even let it simmer for a whole week at this point, after all, he was already considering asking RICO of all people if he was too arrogant a leader and intentionally pushing people away.

RICO.

It made sense at the time, Kowalski would question where he was learning such jargon and be able to draw conclusions based on his recent absence, and Private would do nothing but validate him. Because he was just that nice, he supposed.

“Second, it’s not about being “broken” or “fixed” or what have you, the fact of the matter is that you have the most high-stress job in your already high-stress career. As much as I enjoyed our battles in the fish markets of Denmark, it’s not like the experience hasn’t done something to me, or you for that matter.”

Hans sighed, he was already just so exhausted by this…session. He’d even revealed that he too shared in mental health struggles if Skipper was willing to pick up the scraps left behind for him. Skipper looked a little surprised, sure, but fell back into an understood complacency sooner than later.

Was this the closest they were ever going to get to a true understanding of the other?

He supposed he’d have to take it.

“And lastly, I can’t tell you how to “fix” yourself. I’m a therapist, not a life coach. I’m not here to give advice, I’m here to examine your trauma, and give you a better perspective on how to move forward. However, I can’t take those steps for you. You kinda have to figure out a lot of those things on your own.”

Skipper looked positively moody about this, but less in a spoiled, petulant five-year-old sort of way, and more…accepting of it. He looked tired, and less because it was barely just a quarter past 1. It was an abstract tiredness, one not born of resting or restlessness, but a thing all its own.

Skipper sighed. “Then what am I supposed to do?”

“This is a timely process for a reason, Skipper. Many people can spend years in therapy trying to handle these exact issues.”

“I didn’t realize this was a life sentence in the making.” Skipper muttered.

God, this was already such a process. Hans could tell that Skipper couldn’t stand the vagueness of this all. He was an action guy, he wanted an easy solution of doing task A to accomplish thing B, and achieve reward C, and go on with his life.

No, not even an easy solution. A clear solution. Skipper was a problem solver. All of this was already so abstract, and he didn’t even know if he was so vehemently against this whole process just because it was him, or just because it was therapy at all. He even had a client who after a bad experience with a therapist in middle school decided to turn her sessions into stand-up, just because she was already so familiar and so bored with the process.

Maybe that’s what he needed to channel. Therapy in of itself was at the best of times uncomfortable and at the worst of times boring. He was already dealing with a high energy, high stress client, who was uncomfortable as all hell with being there. If he put him back into a comfortable situation, he may or may not get something out of him, and if he doesn’t, at the very least make him more comfortable with spending time with him at all, off the clock, at least.

“What do you like to do, Skipper? In your free-time?”

Skipper eyed him suspiciously. “Uh, why?”

“I’m trying something. Trust me here.”

That could’ve been phrased SO much better, from nemesis to nemesis, but Skipper seemed willing in the moment to run with that trust. “I like working on my combat capabilities, driving around, sometimes I watch TV and movies, I help Private bake when he feels like it, I nap, I gamble…”

Skipper seemed to be drawing a blank for whatever reason. Surely, he had things he did in his free time, right? It wasn’t like he was ALWAYS on the clock, he just never really thought of certain periods of time as…free. What even counted as free-time anyhow? Was it just time that wasn’t spent doing other things? Under that definition, no time was free.

“Can I say this to you as both a friend, an enemy, and somebody who’s known you for quite a few years at this point?”

Skipper nodded hesitantly.

“Jesus Christ, you need some hobbies.” Hans stated, matter of factly. “Working on your “combat capabilities,” as you put it, seems to be a literal constant considering your job as…however your job is defined, so it’s less play and more work than anything else. You mentioned helping Private bake “when he feels like it,” and I wouldn’t exactly call napping a hobby, or gambling a healthy one.”

Skipper shrugged. It’s not like “Stomp the Wombat” ever left the confines of the lair, anyhow.

“It just feels like you don’t have a lot of things you do just for yourself, you know? Driving around and watching TV are the only hobbies that feel wholly your own, something you don’t do for work or for others. Keep in mind that you can keep doing these things you enjoy, but perhaps you should find other things for yourself. Like an instrument, or a cooking class.”

“I told the boys that I joined a bowling league just to be here.”

“And did that seem believable enough for you to do to be here?”

His silence told Hans everything, but not the literal everything of Skipper “going to bed” at 8 just to climb through his window at 12:30, shimmy down the fire escape, and walk to Hans’s office.

But he probably could tell anyhow.

Of course, this kind of put a blight on Hans’s plans to make Skipper more comfortable while being here, and as he told him such, Skipper proceeded to lay down on the couch. Hans couldn’t tell the exact reason for the action, but it did seem to be a point of exasperation for him.

“Well, damn, sorry I “foiled your plot” to make myself comfortable in the den of the beast.”

“Skipper, you insult me. You really think I’d decorate my den with wooden sailboats? Absolutely criminal.”

“You seem to forget that.” He muttered. Hans ignored it.

“Although the hobby talk didn’t exactly lead where I thought it could…It did lead me elsewhere.”

“Goddamn it.”

“What skill have you always wanted to learn? What’s something that you’ve wanted to try for just, so long, and never got the chance to?”

Skipper began to pick at his lip. This whole talk already made him nervous, but now what was he supposed to say? That he figured he’d be in the back of a truck with is hand hanging out the taillight since he was 14, for whatever reason, so he didn’t even bother considering his top 3 colleges, let alone any future ambitions?

Still, if he was quiet for too long, either Hans would judge him, or he’d render his lips a bloody mess, and that’d be a whole different thing to deal with.

“…Archery sounds fun.” He said. Hans nodded.

“That’s interesting. It’s closely related to your pre-established interests but it’s closer to a sport now than something to be used in an actual combat situation, which sort of allows it to be separated from your work.”

Skipper nodded as well, allowing Hans to believe that that was his thought process from the start, and more of just curious to see if he could shoot a flame off a candle like Annie Oakley.

“You mentioned you liked baking with Private. Do you like the idea of baking itself, or just doing it with another person?”

“Food is meant to be shared?” Skipper seemed to be asking, but also stated in a very definitive way. “It’s a process. It’d be weird not to help in the process.”

Hans pulled his hand away from Skipper’s mouth, where a few small cuts were beginning to form. “If you’d like to have a session where we did a low-stress activity you wanted to do, and we talked while doing so, I think it’d put you in the best conductive environment possible to actually combat the problems that seem so visible to me. This was a good first development, though. I just don’t know if I can expect on accidental issues to identify and attack every time.”

Hans sighed and got up from his chair to stare out the window. Skipper didn’t know why he did this, outside of being a dramatic bitch, but it got him to look anyhow.

“It’s so incidental, many people struggle with balancing work and life as is, but this could easily be one of the main causes of your paranoia, as well as causing a level of detachment and depersonalization, which relates to how you relate to others.”

And well, damn. What was Skipper supposed to say to that?

“Our time’s almost up.” Hans said, checking his watch. Skipper was coming to realize how strange time in therapy was. It simultaneously felt like hours and seconds passing all at once. Perhaps it was because there were no clocks, like a casino. Or maybe it was because going to therapy at 1 in the morning didn’t exactly give you a sun to follow in terms of time. Hans handed Skipper a weird sort of rack with string on it, along with some tissues.

“It’s a loom. Fidget with something that won’t bleed for the next five minutes, if you would.”

Skipper glared at him for the snide comment, but Skipper didn’t exactly put it back where Hans had stored it originally. Picking at the strings inanely didn’t feel as satisfying as his usual fidgets, but it would work until he lost focus and the skin had time to heal.

“I’m giving you three assignments until our next session.” Skipper would’ve originally rolled his eyes at the idea of homework, but there was something that felt already strange about this session. Last session, he was so thoroughly antagonized and owned in such a way that his entire psychological history had been exposed, but this made last session feel like…a misstep. It was almost like Hans was trying to give the rug back to Skipper after it had already been so unceremoniously swept away from him.

He seemed as unsure about this as he was, he even confided about the state of his own mental health, something he probably wasn’t supposed to do. Which, honestly, made Skipper feel better about the whole thing. He didn’t like being guided, and as much as he detested having to do this whole thing with Hans in particular, the idea of having to figure out a stranger at the same time they were trying to figure out him sounded like a nightmare. More than this already was.

The whole session felt off, sure, but it wasn’t as off as it could’ve been, and he knows it could only be worse.

“I want you to begin researching archery, if you really want to pursue it as a hobby, you should try to learn what you can about it before jumping in and figuring out it isn’t what you thought it was.”

“I want you to pay a compliment to each of your team members in a casual way, this’ll strengthen your bonds with them, in a way that allows you to affirm that you appreciate them, as much as they appreciate you.”

Okay, that sounded like hippie nonsense, but who was he to judge at this point.

“And finally, I want you to pick out a recipe to prepare during our next session.”

“Wait, what?”

“A recipe. Something that’ll take less than an hour. I have a friend who’d give me access to their kitchen in the middle of the night, so we’ll be on neutral ground, and I’m sure it’ll be more believable to your “boys” that if you really are doing something in the middle of the night, that you have physical proof of it. Considering how weirdly secretive you are already, the idea you covered up secret cooking lessons with a bowling league doesn’t sound too far-fetched.” Hans was muttering at this point. All these things answered questions he figured he’d have, but nothing that helped with where he was NOW.

“I know it’s a weird idea, but the clients who have had the chance to do different, vaguely active things during our sessions tend to be more open and honest with me about things that they’re worried about, things that they struggle with, and they can make for more engaging sessions where you actually take in what I’m telling you, and makes it less of a lecture.” Hans sighed. “If you hate it, we never have to try anything like that again, but, I do really want you to give it a try. This is a two-way street, I can only give as much as I myself get. I just got lucky this week.”

Skipper stopped strumming the loom.

“Text me the address.” He said, and Hans would have burst with joy if such a thing was appropriate in present company, until he realized.

“I…don’t have your number?”

“Oh, no, session’s over! Wow, how did the time fly? Guess you’ll just have to figure that out for yourself, what a swell talk we had, doc,” Skipper yelled as he headed out the door.

“Pay at the front desk!” Hans yelled back before relaxing into his chair. Skipper was never going to be an easy client to deal with. Maybe he wouldn’t ALWAYS dance around the issues at hand, but he was never going to REALLY come clean about it. There may be things they never talk about, the same way Hans did.

And that was fine. Maybe it made what little he did learn all the more rewarding. Maybe it made what little he learned all the more meaningless if Skipper ever reached a point of complete and utter honesty with him, a fantasy he knew would never see come to light.

But who was to say, really?

It was all a matter of time.

After all, this was only the second session.

(Ahh! I can’t believe I didn’t post another fic for a whole! Month! I think it’s just because I didn’t really know what to do for the second session, and I think you can kinda tell, considering it’s not like Hans knows what to do either. Do you guys really want a whole fic series about Skipper going to therapy? I have no idea. It’s pretty fun, though. I don’t know how Hans became a therapist, either, but I guess that’s just what the dude does now. By the way, the client who turned her therapy sessions into stand-up comedy? That was just me in high school with my mandated therapist. I once gave a funeral to a squeaky toy I broke in the middle of the session. It was simultaneously so sad and so funny at the exact same time.

This fic will be up on my ao3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tadstrangerthings, as soon as @drawbauchery posts it!)

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leverage-commentary · 4 years

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Leverage Season 2, Episode 5, The Three Days of the Hunter Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

Mark: Hello, I’m Mark Roskin, Director of this episode.

Melissa: Melissa Glenn, one of the writers of the episode.

Jessica: Jessica Rieder, the other one of the writers of this episode.

John: [Laughs] John Rogers, Executive Producer.

Chris: Chris Downey, Executive Producer, and this is The Three Days of the Hunter Job.

John: Uh, Glenn and Rieder, why don’t you tell us a little bit about this episode - how, uh, how we came up with this? I’m opening my beer, you guys talk.

[Beer Can Opening]

Melissa: [Laughs] Okay, enjoy. Um, I think the episode actually, Albert had the first idea, of doing something with a tabloid- or media-type person.

John: Right.

Melissa: -that’s Albert Kim.

John: That’s right. It started as like a Page Six person, right?

Melissa: Yeah, and then we just took it to the room and explored it, and we just thought it would be a lot of fun to go after someone in this… arena.

Jessica: Originally, I think we were thinking, yeah, more like tabloid, but then we thought that more often people who are really, like, injured today by the media, it tends to be more like, y’know, more on-screen news kinda stuff. So we took it in that direction.

John: Yeah, with- with newspaper circulation dropping by 20% every year, they’re really kinda losing their power as a threat. And, uh, you know, there have been cases of people appearing on these sort of shows that have been driven to, uh, suicide, or been wrongly accused and [unintelligble] in the press. And with the 24-hour news cycle, you know, that’s a big deal. Uh, we would like to mention that this was based on no one individual.

Chris: No, absolutely not.

John: Absolutely not.

Chris: And if we were to mention who it might be based on, we’re gonna say Wayne Gretzky.

John: That’s good, Wayne Gretzky will be the code word. Because Wayne does not do slanders.

Chris: Absolutely not, Wayne will not sue us in any way.

[Laughter]

John: Now, that’s one of the creepier and better victim intros that we’ve done, the failed suicide. We’ve had a lot of talk about like, did he die, did he not die?

Jessica: That’s true.

John: And uh, I believe it was actually a reference on The Sweet Hereafter. The bus accident.

Jessica: It was! That movie wrecked me!

[Laughter]

Jessica: Oh my gosh, I literally watched that movie on a plane and people were looking at me.

John: As you sobbed in the aisles?

Jessica: Yes, I was openly sobbing. I’d forgotten about that.

John: So we thought the most tragic thing we could would be a bus accident. And of course, y’know. And we used a technique, so slandering people.

Chris: Now, Marc, was there any movies or any things you looked at when you, uh, were prepping this? That you wanted to, uh-? How- how did you prepare for this one?

Marc: Uh, you know, I watched- I watched Network again. It was something I wanted to see, and just watching a lot of the local newscasts. And actually, watching their newscast, where we shot the show, uh, was helpful as well.

John: That’s worth mentioning, actually. We’ll get to this stuff, and we’ll point it out, but Portland, yet again, came through for us. And instead of having to build a newsroom, we got a newsroom.

Marc: Yes.

John: Which channel was it?

Marc: They’re Channel 8 News. And they gave us the room, they gave us all the technical support we needed, all the cameramen that you’ll see on the floor there are theirs. They really rolled out the red carpet to us.

Chris: And I think there’s- is there a newscaster on this, too, from there?

Marc: Yeah, yes. The guy who bookends the show, at the end, Joe. He’s one of their local, uh, local newscasters.

John: This is also where we’re advancing Sophie’s arc. And why don’t you talk about how we wound up doing this?

Jessica: Um, I think that we wanted Sophie to be getting uncomfortable. Sort of, like, wanting to spread her wings a little bit. So right before this, she had broken up with her boyfriend and was just, sort of, feeling a lack of control over her life. And so usually, she’s taking orders from Nate and he’s crafting the vision, but as sort of a struggle to find her new identity and maybe get a little bit more control over her life, we had her take over and be the one sort of calling the shots on this one. Which is really fun. I think that everybody in the cast had a little fun, like, changing the roles around.

John: Well they had a lot of fun both teasing- kind of also teasing Tim, a little. It was-

Jessica: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John: More than teasing Nate, it was also teasing Tim on some of his acting stuff.

Chris: It was actually one of the unintended benefits of Gina’s pregnancy, which was, as we did this arc of her going to find herself, everyone had to take on different roles. And I think it was probably the first episode of the season where we got to really explore that, and we get to see all the different dynamics that it caused.

John: There’s also a callback here, is Sophie talking Parker through the con; that’s something we actually reference in the season finale. And again, that’s one of the things where we really wanted to hammer, which is, they all seem very competent, but they’re all very good at one specific thing. And we really wanted to set up for when we knew Sophie would be gone for an episode or two, the chaos that would ensue when that occurred. This is also kind of a cue to Nate’s control issues, where he can’t even let her talk. You know, it has to be done his way. Um, and Beth Broderick!

Chris: Beth Broderick. Uh, Marc, how did we- how did we end up with Beth Broderick?

Marc: Beth was a friend of Dean’s, who, they were politically active together. They campaigned for Howard Dean together-

John: They were with Bill Ayers, right? They were Weathermen?

[Laughter, Crosstalk]

John: I remember, because Beth and Dean were there when Bill Ayers wrote Obama’s book. They were there but- Wait, are we recording?

[Laughter]

Jessica: Yeah, yeah.

John: Dammit, alright.

Marc: And Dean just- Dean read the script and said, ‘This is gonna be perfect for her’. And she hit it out of the park.

Chris: Boy, did she ever. And I mean, it was just amazing vision on his part, and boy she’s great.

Marc: And also- and also, for a guest star, she’s in almost every scene of the show.

John: This is one of the biggest villains of the- of the two years.

Marc: Yeah, every scene. And the stuff that we made her do, you’ll see later on- big monologues, climbing fences, and she did everything.

John: Yeah, she’s a trooper, man. She went over that fence in shoes. Well that’s- it’s- because again, we were playing around with the format. This is an open mystery, so we know what the con is, but it’s one of the times where really, the victim’s POV is the effect that we’re creating. It’s a lot like Order 23, your hospital episode, where the intent is to see the emotional state you’re bringing up in the person. And so you just live with the villain more that way. And for those episodes, you really need a heavy hitter for an actor.

Chris: And it was also interesting, too, because, you know, we were always looking for cons that didn’t involve delivering a sack of money. We wanted a con where we wanna evoke some kind of a reaction in the bad guy that brings them down, and this one was tailor-made for that.

John: Yeah. And if, uh- this was actually based on, you know, us talking about people who sell fear, and sort of the fear industry in America. And we always say we’re bringing the villain down with their original sin. And so, she sells fear, we’ll bring her down with fear. And this was the big speech- I think I’m the one who came up with the sandworm, it was- it was originally, uh, “the creature that she once bestrode like the [mumbled] on the sandworm of doom.” And I believe you wisely cut out the sandworm of doom reference at the end of this speech.

[Laughter]

Chris: Wow, somebody- somebody mercifully did that?

Jessica: I guess we figured the four people who would understand that weren’t going to miss it that much.

[Laughter]

John: And now we’re in Washington! For the miracle of stock footage.

Marc: Yes.

Jessica: It really does add scope. Every time I watch this show, I’m like, “we like- went there!!” But we didn’t.

John: Again, that’s Portland coming through for us.

Jessica: We just went to Portland, yeah. [Laughs]

John: Well, and Portland doubles as a lot of great cities, east coast cities, and uh, we got a lot of great stuff off of Portland. And this is the newsroom we were talking about.

Marc: Yes, this is the newsroom, and we had to be out of there by four o’clock every day, because they actually had to have their news broadcast.

[Laughter]

John: I love the hair and bow choice on Beth here.

Jessica: Oh my gosh.

Marc: Oh, that’s fabulous.

John: Wardrobe and hair here, now they were kind of intentionally mirroring Beth there.

Marc: Yes, and you’ll notice that every outfit that our Beth Riesgraf is wearing, does match Monica a bit, whether it’s a little color, a little highlight.

Chris: Yeah, it’s great. It’s terrific. And she really just, she looks like a local newscaster.

Jessica: She totally does.

Chris: She just does.

Jessica: I have to say, this was one of the most fun scenes to write. Like, Beth- or Parker being so out of her comfort zone? Because she is so competent, y’know.

John: Yes.

Jessica: And so to be able to write her being a little insecure and fumbling around a little bit was just, it was really fun. And that was actually fun throughout the episode, to be able to write all these people. And just, y’know, being out of their comfort zone, and the comedy that, y’know, lies in that.

John: Yeah, and also Hardison- Hardison being effective, but going over the top as he always does, which- which, y’know, brings us down. Which we actually wound up hitting in the Ice Man later on in the season, yeah.

Jessica: Yeah. A lot of the stuff that we set up here- like, inadvertently, I think, paid off in the Ice Man.

John: Not inadvertently at all, we planned this-

[Laughter, talking over each other]

Jessica: Not inadvertently- did I say inadvertently? I meant deliberately.

Chris: No it was meticulous, we certainly didn't write these things by the seat of our pants.

Melissa: Don’t mind her.

John: We weren't banging these out in four days at a time.

Chris: This was not written in four days.

Jessica: This was certainly not written the day before it was shooting, no.

[Laughter]

Melissa: I love this scene. Her lean in here is-

Chris: Oh this is so ‘Happy Birthday, Mister President’.

[Laughter]

Chris: It is. That's what I heard when I heard that.

John: And now we go to- now we go to conspiracy land. And it was a lot of fun designing Hardison’s- Hardison’s den of crazy. Marc how did you wind up- where'd you go for that?

Marc: We- our art department just came up with a lot of concepts, and our set designer, Adam, just was- he basically put this together himself-

Chris: It's fantastic.

Marc: -with Becca, but it was just great, it really-

John: And that hair is CG, let's add that, that hair is actually a CG effect.

[Laughter]

Marc: We were wondering if we should just have Hardison just laying on the floor and, you know, revealing him, but then we thought why not- let’s give him a proper reveal.

Jessica: And those eyes, how they are slightly crossed the whole time, that's actually Hardison- that's actually Aldis doing that right? Those aren't contacts?

Marc: Yes, that's actually Aldis doing that.

Jessica: He must've had-

John: Yeah, massive headaches by the end of the-, yeah.

Jessica: That's what I was gonna say. I look at that and get a headache.

Marc: It was on a special skills on his-

John: On his actors- on his headshot.

[Laughter]

Marc: Right next to rollerblading.

Melissa: And it was actually true, right?

Jessica: Be careful what you list there, they will make you do it.

John: No the paranoid- the paranoid stuff here was an awful lot of fun to write. We had cooked up an awful lot of- we had found an awful lot of crazy crap on the web. This is- yes this is the one they're building the bunkers to put the Guantanamo people in, when they were talking about closing Guantanamo.

Jessica: Oh yeah, we went through so many possible conspiracy theories. We all tapped into our inner like freak to like, ‘what do you think the government is doing’. It was really- it was kind of an insight-

John: And then when you do the research and find out what they've done, it kind of takes the-

Jessica: Yeah, it's like oh, my stuff’s kinda boring.

John: ‘I think the government lets do one where the government's testing bio weapons in the New York subway. Oh they did that…’

Jessica: Oh shoot.

John: That's not- wow.

Jessica: Guess that can't be funny anymore.

John: No, that's not funny at all.

Marc: Oh Aldis did a great job in this role.

Chris: He just so inhabits this role, you know. I can't say enough about him.

John: I don't know what is Beth doing behind there, where she's kind of, like, scratching at the neck, like she just hates being in this outfit

Marc: Yes.

Jessica: It's true, she does.

John: No, this is- this is a great crazy. And it's interesting to see how it's really a tonal shift from like conspiracy theory to Three of the Condor like at the halfway point of the episode.

Marc: ‘What’d you find? What’d you find?’

[Laughter]

John: ‘Hey, little Timmy.’

[Laughter]

Marc: My favorite line.

Jessica: It’s true.

Marc: ‘Terrorists!’

[Laughter]

Chris: Oh, coming out of the sandbox.

John: Coming out of the sandbox, yeah.

Chris: I love that.

John: We eventually- I think we wound up in the writers room just doing long rants and then taking the best sections of them.

Melissa: Yeah it was a lot of [unintelligible].

Jessica: Our poor writer's assistant, I think, basically just had to cut and paste into the script. Like remember that section three pages ago?

John: When we were really drunk, right. And this is also- like, we have to reestablish her villainy and make sure we understand that she is deserving of the horrible fate we’re about to bestow upon her by the fact we know that we’re gonna- this is also where the nicknames for Parker came up which was a lot of fun. You guys came up with a lovely bit where she just kept giving her horrible nicknames.

Jessica: That's right.

John: This office is like- this set is like the tardis; people are always coming out of doorways.

Chris: Yeah, yeah, no.

John: There's just way too much space in here.

Marc: Keep moving.

Jessica: I just have to interject that this is my favorite Christian costume of the year. Suit. I would put Christian in a suit every episode.

Marc: I would love to as well.

Chris: The Men in Black.

John: Yeah, the sort of Men in Black.

Jessica: I like it! Hair pulled back. Yup. It's good. That’s my secret agenda; I'm just putting it out there.

Marc: He's not a big fan of suits.

Jessica: No, he doesn't like them.

Chris: I have to say, I thought the interplay between all the characters in this one was probably my favorite of the season.

John: Really?

Chris: I mean everyone really- I really did- I thought all these little scenes of them just played great.

Marc: Well I love this, because this was a note where I think I called John and said, ‘You know, with Eliot and Parker when she's asking all these questions about conspiracy theories, how is Eliot’s tone?’ And all John said was, ‘big brother effing with little sister.’

Chris: Yes, that was it.

Marc: I was like, ‘Got it.’

John: That's it.

Chris: That's the model of this episode.

John: Because Parker’s grip on reality is- anything- there's a great description of Sherlock Holmes in the- I think in A Study in Scarlet where Watson writes down everything he knows. And it’s a- he knows he has no idea of the- Sherlock Holmes has no idea the earth goes around the sun, because it's not important to solving crime. And it amuses me that Parker, outside of crime, could be talked into believing pretty much anything.

Jessica: It's true. She's so savvy in some ways, and totally clueless and childish.

John: And particularly with these guys who she trusts. This lift, did we take this lift from the tango that eventually died?

Jessica: Yes!

Chris: I think it was.

Jessica: Oh the tango.

John: Use all the parts of the buffalo.

Chris: Which may live again folks.

John: Which may live again.

Melissa: Then we won't tell you what it was.

Jessica: Right.

Melissa: It's great trick that Apollo showed us, where using just a really strong magnet and lifting somebody's IT tag off-

John: Now was it- was a lot of fun, was finding the neodymium magnets and which- you know what you can do? They can tear off the hand of a young child. When I saw that on the web, I must've- I must've said that phrase at least twice a day for the rest of the year.

Melissa: They are very strong magnets.

Jessica: I think that's true.

John: I’m delighted by the fact that you can buy something on the web that can tear off the hand of a small child. The magnet that he's using is a neodymium magnet it's a very powerful- and that's something Apollo actually showed us in order to lift metal objects off people, it's incredibly strong.

Chris: And what's this location that we have as the Pentagon? This is an active building in Portland?

Marc: This is the active local political building in downtown Portland.

Chris: And they basically just emptied the local city government for us?

Marc: Yes.

Chris: They just sent everybody home for the day. ‘Go drink.’

Marc: And this was also used in the two-part season finale as well.

John: The finale, that's right.

Marc: The room that Eliot stole the badge is their assembly room. This is a fun scene. I think the two of them together was great.

John: And the camera man actually found a nice little beat here. He's just like, ‘I like to get punched.’

Jessica: I like it.

[Laughter]

John: There you go. And Eliot is always, like, this little beat of suspicion, this little-

Marc: I figured I'd go slow motion here just to try and sell it a little bit more.

Melissa: Well done.

Marc: But I love Beth Riesgraf’s performance in here, as soon as the video camera’s on her.

Melissa: Yes.

Marc: Wanting to take the spotlight a little.

Melissa: It was perfect.

Marc: And Beth Broderick just shoves her away. It was perfect. This was all ad-libbed.

Jessica: This is so local news, too.

[Laughter]

John: It's really cheesy.

Jessica: It’s very local news; just great.

John: And now there was a big thing- it was a big thing with the uniform, getting a uniform that would work on Tim. Because Tim’s hair is not a buzzcut, and the problem with television, if you buzzcut someone, you live with that look for the rest of the season.

Marc: Yes.

John: So we were actually gonna abandon the idea and then our consultant told us that the special ops guys who come back from Afghanistan keep both beard and longer hair and wear it with the uniform, so we gave him that particular uniform and it worked out just fine with the beret.

Chris: Fans of Taps may enjoy watching this little sequence.

John: Fans of Taps. Does he die in Taps?

Chris: I don't remember.

John: Does he die in Taps- or is this- could we say like we’ll do it in a way where this is like a continuity of Taps.

Jessica: This might be him.

John: This is a pseudo sequence-

Chris: Could this be his character from many years later?

John: You know, we never said where Nate went to school. We-

Jessica: That's true; there's a lot of material.

John: I like the implication that Nate Ford was actually the kid in Taps; that's kind of screwed up. Yeah, and then this was a tough one because we did not have the bag of money, right?

Chris: No.

Jessica: That's true.

John: So we had to establish- we were like, ‘Great, it’s information.’ And then we’re like, information is a great concept, it doesn't really work on television. And that's where we came up with a red file.

Melissa: Yes, put it in a red folder.

John: We spent a long time figuring out what the visual cue would be that the audience could track, that Marc did an excellent job of establishing to the audience, so the audience would understand: that's the MacGuffin, that's the axe, you know.

Marc: And ‘red file’ is said a couple times; they just keep hammering it.

John: Well what was Dean's rule? You never- the audience doesn't really hear it until the third time.

Jessica: Oh that's interesting; it's true.

Chris: And you get a nice little swagger, here, where it’s just all she cares about is the status in the Washington press core.

John: Yeah and- it's not all based on Wayne Gretzky's resentment of not being picked in [mumbled].

Chris: No, not at all.

[Laughter]

Chris: Not Wayne Gretzky's resentment at all.

John: You know Stanley Cup won't get you respect in the Washington press core. There's actually a great photo of him sitting there right in front of that wall, one of my favorite shots, just mad.

Marc: He was just in an armchair. ‘Let her run it.’

John: Oh, there was the other thing. We spent like a day, where I may have been drunk. We spent like, a day coming up with the sleazy stories that she would promo.

Jessica: That was fun.

Melissa: What’s going on at naptime?

Chris: Secret call girl ring.

John: What's killing you?

Jessica: Which of your appliances are trying to kill you? I have to say, at home it's currently my microwave. That's a different story. But they are actually trying to kill you sometimes.

[Laughter]

John: How’s hiatus treating you there?

Jessica: You know what? It's been rough and I'd rather not talk about it. It’s good if we go back to work.

Chris: For those keeping score, here's the evil speech of evil.

John: Evil speech of evil.

Melissa: This is a great evil speech of evil.

John: That's right.

Melissa: I love this speech.

Jessica: Yeah.

John: Yeah this- and this was kind of the- this was kind of an honest thing where we realized that this con wouldn't work. Where just because the people that are Wayne Gretzky's audience members believe that only bad people go to jail, and therefore would not be scared by this story.

Chris: Well, and also again, it’s like the idea of what- what kind of scandal is- would appeal to her? It’s sex; it’s salacious details. It would have to go to some different level than the violation of civil rights.

Marc: And will you tell the listeners what the significance is of Ren Field and Betsy Wetsy?

[Laughter]

John: Yeah well, Betsy Wetsy is just a doll name for her, and that's one of the nicknames. Renfield is Dracula’s insane human assistant who was- we meet, I believe, locked up in a mental institution.

Chris: Oh that's right, that's true.

John: That's where the nicknames come from.

Jessica: Obviously Marc, it is Dracula's evil assistant.

[Laughter]

Jessica: I'm sorry.

John: You know what? It's just-

Chris: I mean, everybody knew that.

John: It's just supposed to make sense to Beth Broderick's character; it's a little bonus point for the people paying attention.

Chris: He cut the Dune reference in to keep Renfield.

John: If you cut Dune, you keep Renfield.

Jessica: We decided to let that one go, yeah.

[Laughter]

John: And Gina really tees off nicely in here. And this is also an interesting idea that Nate’s not unaware of this role in the group is destructive. But he doesn't care when he does it.

Jessica: That's true.

Chris: Right.

John: And it's interesting this leads right into Top Hat where we see he's back in that position and it’s consuming him at the end of that episode. You know, where she- there's actually an interesting arc in the second season where Sophie's smarter than Nate, and is more personally developed. She understands she has to get her head together or she's gonna wind up dead. Where Nate just really spirals out in a more addictive style. Nice- nice zoom.

Chris: Nice bullet.

Marc: The ninja zoom!

Chris: And this, what a-

John: What a hit, oh man.

Jessica: That stunt was amazing.

Chris: This is- to talk about- talk about this stunt, Marc.

Melissa: This is amazing.

Chris: What happened?

John: Because when we saw this on dailies, we thought you killed her.

Jessica: We thought you killed the stunt woman.

Marc: I did too, and um, basically she took a hit really hard.

Chris: I mean, so the car actually hit the stunt woman.

Marc: Yeah, she jumped up a bit. Normally-

Chris: How fast was the car going?

Marc: Normally you wouldn't take that much impact, but she took a lot, she took a lot.

Chris: And was that her regular stunt double who does the flips?

Marc: No this was a different stunt girl that we had, someone who can-

John: Who then left the set right after and went on to live a perfectly healthy life in another state.

[Laughter]

Marc: No, she was fine. She got up; she was great.

John: Yeah.

Marc: The other problem is when we had Beth Riesgraf there, there was a pile of red ants that kept coming-

Jessica: Oh, that was-

Melissa: Climbing up on her, that was-

Marc: She was always like ‘Come on, shoot! The ants are getting me!’

Melissa: I remember she was trying to blow them away.

John: Now does anyone remember why he's a postman?

Jessica: Because postmen don't get noticed.

Melissa: Nobody notices them.

John: That's right, and what’s the classic G. K. Chesterton story that we were referencing?

Chris: The job depends on this.

Jessica: The postman?

John: The job- no

Chris: We've got five new writers out there who know the answer.

[Laughter]

John: They all know that we’re referencing G. K. Chesterton, The Invisible Man.

Chris: They're out there thumbing through Dune right now waiting for us.

[Laughter]

Melissa: Rieder and Glenn are going down.

John: No, one of the first mystery stories I ever read was a G. K. Chesterton mystery story where he figured out the killer was the postman because nobody pays attention to the postman. It's the only person who goes in and out of buildings without ever being noticed.

Jessica: Wow.

John: I’m fairly sure that's where- and this of course is Deep Throat. This is where we spiral off into Three of the Hunter,

Chris: This is Deep Throat folks.

Jessica: I know that one.

Chris: Our only note for this scene was: he must step out of shadows.

Jessica: It’s true.

John: We didn't care where the shadows were.

Jessica: I don't think we wrote the rest.

Chris: We wanted it to be a parking garage, I'll say that right now. But if it couldn't be a parking garage, it was like: he must step out of shadows.

Marc: I looked, I tried to find a parking garage, I swear.

[Laughter]

Marc: It was gonna be a company move; I couldn't do it.

John: No, I understand.

Marc: This is actually in the basement of the-

Chris: No, it works great.

John: It does work great.

Marc: -assembly building.

John: Especially with the elevator, with the cage door. I always love those.

Chris: You couldn't oversmoke this, right, there's smoke, right?

John: I think Tim’s actually on fire right now.

[Laughter]

John: Generating so much smoke in this scene. This is where we spiral- I remember- I think we spun up the virally evolving toxin, and there was that guy I went into that long bit and you looked at me like, ‘Wait, is that real?’ ‘No no, it's not real at all, don't worry about it.’

Marc: I think we did this- we did this scene, we did her scene outside of the assembly room, we did the scene of her breaking into the office; I think that was all one day in the same building.

John: Wow.

Chris: Wow. Boy that's a lot.

Jessica: And how many days did you guys have to shoot this? Was it seven?

Marc: Seven days.

John: It’s seven days. Most network shows are 8-12.

Chris: Yes.

John: Most 8; some 12; us 7, occasionally 6½.

Melissa: We don't mess around.

Marc: And the guy who shoots second-unit was busy.

Melissa: It was rather busy, shooting first-unit.

John: Right, yeah.

Jessica: Oh right, yeah.

Chris: By the way, I think the- you filled in on this one also. We should note that, I think-

John: You had like a week prep on this; there was cancellation-

Marc: Yes. Yes.

Melissa: This one we jumped on.

John: And did a great job because this is visually very- this is very layered and it's very complex. And- I'm sorry, that outfit kills me every time.

Marc: It's funny, because everybody got to play a part in this except our grifter, Sophie, who usually gets to play characters.

Jessica: That's true, yeah.

John: Yeah, that's the idea. And also the idea was to, you know, also start easing her out of that, you know, she's only around really for two more episodes of this season.

Marc: And here again is another mention of the red file.

John: There you go, flashback. And the murderous, besuited Eliot. Tim really dug in on the paranoia here. He really-

Marc: Yeah.

John: That's a menacing, scary look.

Marc: Yes, it was a lot of lighting.

[Laughter]

John: The shadow’s on the wall; that's very nice.

Marc: God bless Dave Connell.

John: And then back to the apartment of crazy.

Marc: Yes, and more teasing the little sister.

Jessica: That was so fun.

Chris: It's great her leaning up against him, too.

John: It was interesting to watch. Like I said, the pairings that wound up happening this year evolved. And not just because we wound up losing Gina for the back half of the season, but the Parker/Eliot thing got really interesting. And then the Eliot/Sophie thing got really interesting early in the season, that sort of, you know, now that he's forgiven her he's actually a confidant because he's the only one whose overawed by Nate, you know?

Jessica: That's true. I think it's funny, because last season I think-

John: Is that a good look, too, by the way, Reider?

Jessica: No, I actually didn't hear the last thing you said because I was kind of focusing on that, but the suit it- just kidding, I always listen to John when he talks. Otherwise he threatens to fire me. But I think-

John: Rat.

[Laughter]

Jessica: Or sometimes he actually does it; I just ignore it. But the first season it was a lot of, like, building Parker and Hardison’s relationship and like, we really love that and really enjoyed writing it. But this here was really fun to do more of the brother/sister stuff between Parker and Eliot and even like Eliot and Hardison. And that was, like, the most fun thing in my opinion to write, cause that was just so family-like, you know, a dysfunctional, funny, loving family.

John: And also Chris and Aldis are kind of like brothers in Portland. Like, hanging out with them, that relationship is very real.

Chris: And Beth, too.

Marc: I love this little beat of - just jumping in - of just, Hardison explains everything he's doing and just saying ‘you doubt me? Look at this.’ And it's happening in real time.

Chris: I like- this was a very numbers thing. You came up with this.

John: I came up with this because I have friends who are journalists and, you know, one of the things they talk about, is the fact that every journalist cultivates like 3 or 4 good sources on the hill, but the overreliance on those sources means they can never call them on their bullshit. And that turned into this kind of-

Chris: But it's nice; the math part I like, too.

John: The math part is nice, too. It's a nice bit of physics bullshit.

Chris: Math porn.

John: Math porn.

[Laughter]

Chris: We don't do a lot of that.

John: Project Destiny, by the way, is a lovely callback to The Core, the movie I did in 2003.

Jessica: More quizzing.

Chris: Available on Amazon.

John: Available on Amazon. I just wanna say, a lot of science fiction writers like John Scalzi and Joss Whedon, they really like it.

[Laughter]

John: And, you know, it comes highly recommended. No. This is- the stripper scene is ridiculously funny and is really one of the better flashbacks. Just- those flashes are tough, because they have to be one shot, really, and they have to convey an enormous amount of information as fast as possible.

Chris: Now here, this is- we’re getting into the paranoia sequence. This is great, I love this.

Melissa: Just the water everywhere.

Marc: This was, yeah, we did everything; every time she sees water, we just went to slow motion.

Chris: It’s so well done. It’s- it's all- just you saw that the choice of water really plays out here. Because it's everywhere.

John: Where did you get that fish tank? Who has that fish tank?

[Laughter]

Marc: No, I requested the fish tank.

John: Who has that fishtank in their office? Nobody has that fish tank in their office.

Marc: That was the one request I had from the art department.

John: And the whole idea is they're basically breaking this woman's sanity, which is-

Jessica: That’s fun.

John: But she made a nice older man try to commit suicide, and she’s deserving of it.

Melissa: She deserves it.

Jessica: That was one of the challenges, I think, of spending so much time with her, is that we had to keep reestablishing her villainy so that we didn't feel bad for her. Cause like, when you spend so much time with her, we didn't want to make her into the victim.

John: Particularly Beth Broderick, who is a particularly sympathetic charming actor, we didn't want to-

Chris: Well it's a testament to her, because it's true, a lot of these ones you want, sort of, physically imposing bad guy when you're putting them in in this kind of Saw-like trap.

[Laughter]

Jessica: Yeah, totally.

Chris: Seriously.

John: ‘This is Jigsaw. In front of you is a briefcase full of money orders.’ What no- not saw what are you doing?

Chris: A kind of psychological Saw.

John: Yeah, but it's interesting, this is the one of the rules we have, which is things can't just go randomly wrong, they have to go wrong because of either something we've set up that is an unintended consequence, or they've succeeded too well. And Marc where did you get all these amazing vehicles?

Marc: This was the local national guard.

[Laughter]

Marc: Again, Portland opening up its doors to us.

Chris: This is a product of our- of that trip we took to scout locations, which if our wives were listening right now, was to see things like this and not to drink.

[Laughter]

Marc: Yes it was.

Chris: Not to go to strip clubs.

John: Exactly.

Marc: And they gave us everything.

Chris: So you see-

John: So cut the silent treatment, ok? It's right there!

Chris: So this is why we went, so we can have this sequence, so now you know.

Jessica: Chris how's your hiatus going?

[Laughter]

John: So yes, this was the local national guard; all their vehicles, all their guys in uniform.

Marc: Personnel, guys in uniform, all their vehicles. They basically do all the repairs on vehicles that are used to also be a big firing range where they test weapons as well. That's why they kept saying ‘Don't go up the hill.’

John: Really?

Marc: ‘Don't go up the hill, there's a couple things that haven't gone off yet.’

Chris: This is a great shot right here.

John: Yeah this we couldn't have built this, probably.

[Laughter]

Chris: No.

Jessica: Probably not.

John: I'm thinking on seven days we couldn't have put that together. That's a good looking bunker. And there's Beth Broderick charging the fence like a trooper.

Marc: Charging the fence. We do have a stunt person in this shot, but we used her just in the one little brief shot. Beth wanted to go all the way over. I'm like ‘No no, I've got a lot more work to do with you.’

Melissa: I remember writing this and we thought once she throws the purse over, that's commitment. If a woman throws a purse over a fence.

Chris: Oh wow, that's her folks!

Marc: Yeah, cause it was written, I think, just tossing the purse and then she's over. I'm like, ‘No, we gotta carry this over.’

John: Yeah no, that's Beth Broderick on the barbed wire, yeah.

Jessica: In those heels, that's moxie. That's not hubris, that's moxie.

John: ‘That's not hubris, that's moxie.’ Nicely done. And now yes, cause that's just a poorly thought out idea.

[Laughter]

John: But she's driven by paranoia and madness and so-. And Sophie has seen the wages of her obsession.

[Laughter]

John: This is a- this is also a pattern that we wind up, which is Hardison in trouble and everyone kind of enjoying yanking him around a little. Because he's usually on the other- and I think we say this actually in this one. It’s like, ‘Not so funny being on the other side.’

Jessica: Yup.

John: Yup and the parallel interrogations. This was a ton of fun.

Jessica: This was my- I think these were my favorite scenes of the whole episode. Just Hardison playing around with this guy. I don’t- I just love this whole part; writing it was fun, watching it was fun.

Chris: Oh, I love this line here about ‘This is not a planned community’? That was perfect.

[Laughter]

Marc: ‘She's a freak, man.’

John: No. And these- and this is interesting. This should be taken from The Closer. This is like- this shooting style is dead serious. No- and these are- and these are actual soldiers right? One of them was.

Marc: No no, these guys are both actors.

John: The gate guys are-

Marc: The gate guys are, yeah.

John: Actual soldiers, right.

Marc: And the guys in the hallways.

John: Yeah. And she's gone and the problem is, and this is another thing, again, when you've got a five hander, it’s like who’s in the game, who’s out of the game at any given point. Who’s dead and who's been blown. Yeah, it's not fun. You know, there's a lot of shows with one lead and four sidekicks, and having like really five-hander is-

Jessica: Those lucky bastards

John: Like yeah, those lucky bastards.

Chris: And another one of our almost real time endings. I’d say this-

John: I’d say this is the pattern of the second season, that we really got into about episode three or four. Acts four and five are almost real time.

Chris: Almost always really time.

John: Act four in particular.

Chris: Sometimes 3, 4, and 5.

John: Yeah, act 4 in particular.

Marc: Here's where Eliot gets to toy with Hardison.

Melissa: Yes, just so much fun.

John: Yeah, just so much frustration and rage. Just the little shit eating grin there, yeah, because it's usually the other side. Cause there's nothing funnier than Chris Kane annoyed. Chris Kane annoyed is money.

Chris: And that was- she just did that, right?

Jessica: Yeah, that was not scripted.

Chris: A little found moment.

John: She just found a gas mask. And I like she's completely oblivious to the things that might go horribly wrong. For Parker this is actually amusing.

Melissa: It’s fun.

Jessica: It's all a game, yeah.

John: I also love, again, both establishing her mania and her villainy here, that she will sell out humanity for a chance to be in the bunkers.

Marc: Right.

John: Even in this moment, she's a weasel. Yeah, we’ll have no mercy for her.

Jessica: Yup, it’s true.

John: And I also like- it was a great job by makeup and wardrobe. But particularly make-up and hair on this one, to slowly spool out her look-

Jessica: Yeah.

John: -over the course of the act.

Marc: And keeping the continuity. This is where I said to Aldis, I said ‘This is your moment where you get to be Samuel L. Jackson for a moment.’

John: Oh when he flips, when he's got the information. Yeah we saw these in dailies actually- that look up right there-

Jessica: Yeah, that was-

John: That was like, ‘woah, what the hell is that?’

Jessica: ‘What’d you do to Aldis?!’

Marc: Yeah, I said ‘You've gone from crazy weird scared paranoid, give us a good-’

John: ‘I want you to reach into the bag and take out a wallet.’ No, he's really- and the slam, the hand slam was great. This- and this guy did a really good job. Now these- this whole act- and this was- But again, we’re talking about sort of the things you find in second season, is you go from making 13 little perfect ones, to learning how to make 100. Is you really start finding out it’s ok to just live in one scene for an act, if it's a really entertaining scene.

Chris: In one set. Yeah, like when we broke it, it was like act 4 is the army. That’s where we’re living.

John: And really only one sequence - interrogation and rescue. That’s it; there's nothing else really going on. In the first season we found this very static, and just being able to trust the actors and the characters now, this is a ridiculously entertaining act.

Jessica: Yeah.

Marc: I mean, look at all the vehicles they gave us, it's unbelievable.

John: That's your tax dollars at work, ladies and gentleman. Helping out making Leverage.

Jessica: Thank you for that.

John: Also, there's a little throw away there where Sophie explains that, you know, people don't look at generals in the eyes, they just look at the ranks. It's a little-

Marc: Yeah, the stars and bars.

John: There's a little hint to Sophie's background there, sorta background that- Gina had come up with that, we’re kind of seeding through. And these guys trying to decide which ones, who’s crazy. Oh, and the whole bit about them signing the nukes, what had been the news right before was the fact that they had accidentally flown those nukes. Remember that story? The Air Force had lost track of four nukes for a couple days. And we were like, well we could make up something ridiculous or just take the incredibly terrifying thing that's on CNN.

Jessica: Right, yup. Used what they actually did.

John: We wind up making- we have we wound up making up not a lot on this show.

Chris: No yeah, we try- We find ridiculous things, we try to work it in.

Jessica: It’s true.

John: Yeah.

Chris: Whenever possible.

Melissa: At times we have to scale back reality and say people aren't gonna buy this, it's too crazy.

Jessica: Totally true.

John: Absolutely. No, there's a lot of- there’s a couple- couple times where people go ‘Eh, it’s a little much’ is always the real thing.

Jessica: Yeah, it's never something we've made up.

John: The stuff we've just bullshitted, they always buy.

Jessica: Totally true.

Chris: And this is a good example of sometimes people say, ‘Well how would they get away with this or, you know, get past levels of security?’ Well in this one, they get just enough out of the perimeter, and then their cover is blown pretty quickly. So, you know, we’re not saying that the entire US Army is duped by our guys on the fly.

John: But a lot of that's- A lot of it is, in this season, is establishing all they really ever buy themselves is 15 seconds. But the stuff they can pull off in that 15 seconds is why they are who they are, you know. And that's the thing, is at this point, you know, he knows they gotta get the hell out of dodge, and that's why they split up, and that’s why they’re getting ready to do the blow off. The cackle bladder.

Marc: And they have a great escape vehicle.

John: They have a fantastic Hyundai, which really delivers for us here.

Melissa: Which Tim always really drives hard.

Chris: Do they give us product integration in the commentaries?

John: They did actually, we get an extra 20 grand for saying how bad ass this car is.

Jessica: Every time we say it, they give us money.

John: Yeah I like it. Actually it's a pretty- and boom!

Chris: And Marc, I think I remember you called saying, ‘I was just checking to see if we blast through the gate?’

Jessica: Yeah that was yours, was it?

John: Who were you talking to?

[Laughter]

Marc: Yeah exactly I was like, ‘Ok, sorry.’

John: We’re usually calling every week insisting on something exploding, I don't know why you're calling us to ask if they can go through a gate.

Jessica: Can the gate then explode after they drive through? Because that’d be even better.

John: And basically that's the whole idea, is they've only bought 15 seconds, the con is unraveling, and how fast can they play it out?

Chris: Yeah.

Marc: I like the delivery that these- they give in these little beats, little banter back and forth, and Tim’s just, ‘Mhm, yeah, mm.’

John: Yeah, he's really digging in. And she's even more unraveled. No, it’s lovely.

Jessica: I like this part how, like, usually with our villains; we sort of lead them through to the end. But this one, like, we just spun her up so tight that, like, the fifth act is almost just her spinning out on her own, you know?

John: It's really just getting out of her way at this point.

Chris: And was this-? Just for the tech geeks. Is this a steadi-?

Marc: There's that red file reference.

Chris: Was this a steadicam or-?

Marc: Yeah that was steadicam. Steadicam and 360.

John: Oh the- him and- [laughs] this is actually a prelude to something else in the season finale, but Eliot- Eliot in various iterations; the writers were playing around with how menacing he needed to be when he came out of the bathroom. And then we realized you know what? No matter who you are, coming out of a bathroom with rubber gloves is just never a good thing.

Jessica: That's true.

John: Nobody ever comes out of a bathroom with rubber gloves to help you.

Marc: And you can barely see it but we also line the walls with plastic as well.

John: Yeah, you just know that's a bad thing. And the fact that he actually- they sold that, too. That was a big comedy beat.

Chris: He got maced.

Jessica: That was fun.

John: Now this is great, and this is what's amazing, is that this is what's a big chunk of stuff with none of our actors.

Marc: Yes.

John: And all the local Portland actors were great cause that guy’s local. Is the newscaster that she replaces, is she a newscaster or is she a local actress?

Marc: No, she's a local actress.

John: Yeah, and she's got a great look, she looks exactly like that sort of financial, you know, on Wayne Gretzky's network that kind of financial, you know-

Chris: Yes, Versus I think is the network. The hockey channel?

[Laughter]

Jessica: Yeah, the financial girl on Versus.

John: The financial girl on Versus. Exactly. I love- we're gonna get sued by Wayne Gretzky and have no way to explain this. Like why? Got no idea. How do we-

Chris: And another thing to track here that is great, was the pill bottle, because the whole slander of our victim in the beginning was that he had taken antidepressants and was totally out of context and getting her to hold this pill bottle was a great part of the con.

John: Though I'll tell you, that was one of those moments where I realize you're 40, when we originally had the dad be a Vietnam vet. And then we did the math on driving the bus and we realized ‘oh shit, it’s Desert Storm. Oh man.’

Jessica: Right, yup that’s true.

John: And now, yes, just to taking the water with her coat. And by the way, I'd like to say uncle tenuse is coming to town. There we go! Just for the 60 year old comedy fans, that reference.

Jessica: Spit take.

John: Nice spit tak;, classic spit take.

Marc: She was great. She had another bit in the office, but it got cut for time.

John: It got cut. Oh, she was Beth's assistant. She was Beth Broderick's assistant, right?

Jessica: Right.

John: Yes, and then the crazy footage. And it was interesting again, that- Look, her eyes are tearing up; that's great.

Marc: And she did this over and over and over again.

John: But that was- it’s like Knights Tale with jousting. We had to establish what the rules were. I always admire the fact that Knights Tale explains what joint is very effectively and very efficiently.

Melissa: Right.

John: And we had to explain what the rules of her expose style are early, so that we can then have a framework for the audience to see how each beat is falling into place.

Chris: This is how she's brought down.

John: And that's just crazy and screwed up.

[Laughter]

John: I like the fauxhawk on the second cop; I didn't notice that the first time around. And then Beth Broderick taking the hit, I believe.

Marc: We did get a stunt person just for the fall to the ground.

[Laughter]

Marc: There.

Chris: Wow.

John: Oh she's spun out- and now this is a great improv by the guy. Or you came up with this on the set, right? The- the chair push?

Marc: Yeah, I wanted to keep the whole idea that they are on live, he sees the light and he just pushes the girl in front of the camera, like, ‘go, go, go!’

Jessica: Nice.

John: And also, nice choice here, where this little gloat that she puts on right here about the destruction of probably someone she hates is nice. ‘I’m Monica freaking Hunter!’

[Laughter]

John: It is. It’s Network Spock welded onto Three Days of the Condor.

Chris: Yeah it’s the whatever your local 70’s paranoia.

Marc: And that's our local Portland newscaster, Joe.

John: Parallax view too. And that's our local anchor, that's right. There you go, redemption. The end, and the bad guy has suffered, brought down by their own sin. And America can go to bed secure that bad people are punished and good people triumph. And that's the way the world is; they should sleep better.

Jessica: Obviously.

Chris: There's a nice little ending. Who’s idea is it that Eliot‘s cooking here? To carry that forward from season one? Was that- I don't think that was in the script, was it?

Jessica: I don't know.

Melissa: It was in the script, and we followed it through a little with the pitch in the- I think one of the ones where he's like ‘I cook all my own food.’ We were trying to follow this through.

Chris: Grow my own food, that's true.

Melissa: We’re trying to make this very- that’s who Eliot is.

John: And you know, it's interesting, this- We wound up shooting up here in the apartment more than down by where we installed all those expensive monitors. Cause this was just a really kind of fun, intimate space.

Chris: Well this is also sort of the family area, when you're around the table on the bar.

John: Yeah, Eliot’s actually cooking a lot this season. He's kinda going back and forth; he's behind that counter a lot. The fact that they’re- it was kind of a running gag, we never really landed on it, but it goes through the season Nate never has control of his refrigerator again once the season begins.

Jessica: It’s true.

John: They're always stealing his food. Nate- there's a running gag where Eliot’s always icing up from the ice in his fridge.

Melissa: Right.

Jessica: Yeah.

John: This is a nice beat.

Chris: A nice moment between-

John: Where he admits he was a screw up, and she kind of admits that he was a screw up also. Yeah, it was hard. I mean, you really need to establish they can’t have a romantic relationship yet. They're not-

Jessica: Not there.

John: Not there, yeah. And that was the hard won wisdom of first season. They really land the sort of friends and something more beat at the end of this.

Jessica: I loved that throughout the season. I think, you know, that gets sprinkled in a lot and I’ve- you know, them as friends is just- I don't know; it seems so comfortable and there's so much there.

John: Two lonely people who wandered the earth, you know. There's very few people they've actually connected with over the course of their lives, so.

Jessica: I love these final moments with them.

John: There was a lot of these this season, with the, like, little character beat codas.

Chris: There's one between her and Eliot in Top Hat-

John: The next episode.

Chris: -with the same vantage point.

John: 207 there's- yeah.

John: Yeah and again it's- a lot of it is - it’s ok to just hang out with the characters. That was a lot of fun. Anything you wanna say before we take off?

Marc: No, I just- it's great to be able to direct a great script, so thank you girls.

Jessica: Thank you; it was fun.

Melissa: Our pleasure.

#Leverage #Leverage TNT #Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts #Audio Commentary #Transcripts #Parker #Alec Hardison #Eliot Spencer #Nate Ford #Sophie Deveraux #Season 2 #Episode 5 #Season 2 Episode 5 #The Three Days of the Hunter Job

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favvnsongs · 4 years

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Hey so what is ahead to still waters 👀👀

I - oof even what is Ahead to still waters, indeed, lmfao.

Uhm, so very long story short-ish:

Atsw is the sprawling, all over the place, sometimes a gritty traumatic war drama, sometimes an indulgent opulent space opera, occasionally an uncomfortable psychological horror, more often than not a heartbreakingly tragic and agonizing and tenderly romantic monsterbeast of a catradora(...?) fic that happened when a dubcon chipped!catra/adora pwp drabble morphed into Cry little sister and then that au morphed a second time into Ahead to still waters.

It's @trashcanpunch and I's favorite fic-child and we basically come crashing into one anothers DMs on a constant basis to scream feelings at each other. I mean mostly like angsty feelings as if we're on two different sides of a vicious guerilla war and heartbreaking plot moments or snippets or whatever the fuck are spike pits in the jungle but... yknow.

Lmfao no but uh. basically. Atsw, much like Cls, is the "what if" exploration i guess based on if adora&co had left catra behind after catra had helped to rescue glimmer off of prime's flagship.

(mind you that the backstory "lore" of the universe is only like... 5% canon compliant bc I dont fuck with canon when it comes to aus it's stupid and I dont like being limited like that lmao)

no but uhhh. yeah. without the events of Save the Cat, adora never really becomes she ra again. meanwhile, catra isn't forcibly baptized in the mountain dew pool of doom against her will and shoddy chipped and shoved into the hivemind. rather prime sees how much she's hurting and how much internal conflict and despair she's got in her, and very gently and tenderly and so so so uncomfortably grooms her into turning on etheria. essentially handing over not only everything she knows willingly, but also taking the light willingly, joining the hivemind willingly, but also giving herself over to the war effort bodily in letting him use her physically for the creation of little sister, who is kinda sorta an entirely separate personality? it's weird. that whole aspect is sorta... it hasn't been ironed out yet.

(if any of y'all are familiar with my aus, youll know nothing is concrete and everything is always changing and being retconned lol so things may change but)

catra is essentially given the light rather early? and the light and the chips and the hivemind all work differently than in the show, obvs. and she wants to repay prime for giving her a new home and a place of belonging and a purpose?

(oof and I loooove prime in this au. like. i love him because I have such a love hate relationship with him. and I think that's his entire point?? because he'll Make You Like Him??? and make you trust him??? and it's just So Good. and then you'll be reminded that he's an absolute fucking monster it's Amazing)

no but. so. catra. but also little sister. so like, catra is given the light and she's been relieved of her despair and her grief and her anger and bitterness and pain and all that jazz. she's also done some other shit too but we won't get into that here lol. she's earned her place, so to speak. but she wants to do more. she's a true believer. she has seen the truth and heard it from on high and followed him from out of the darkness with pure blind faith and been rewarded. she has really truly deeply drank the koolaid.

prime basically through some weird process splits her - personality? entire wholeass consciousness?? idek. but there's catra and little sister and theyre two different people but they're not and they have two separate personalities but they dont. and they have different memories and knowledge of things but then at the same time they dont. they share a body and a soul but thanks to chip shenanigans and prime's influence, little sister is intentionally so much stronger than catra, she's the one in control most of the time? and yeah sometimes, though very rarely, catra can shove her way to the front but more often than not prime has to allow catra to be present.

(it's not like she'd want to be anyways. committing warcrimes and whatnot. she's comfy where she is. as long as adora's safe she's okay to let little sister be of service to lord prime's plans. that's okay. as long as adora's okay, she's okay.)

but then yknow turns out prime is getting kinda bored af with the war and the heart of etheria isn't like. he doesnt really want it to blow up the universe bc that's dumb as fuck?? lmao what. he mostly either wants to harness that magic so no one else can have it who Would blow up the universe bc there are much more evil fuckers than Prime out there and they aren't members of the evil version of the space united nations or whatever who are all like "so hey uh what's the deal with basically that giant bomb I guess you were gonna take care of or something...?" or he wants to conquer etheria and her surrounding planets (which is mostly his current plan but etheria is kind of just... being a bitch..) bc he cant really just. leave something like that sitting in what is his backyard now. but either way he's getting really fed up and he's all "alright we're gonna just mass chip everyone fuck it i don't care" or something like that, and then honestly prolly destroy all the runestones or something and then just pack up and see if the planet explodes like a pressure cooker.

but also prime has a bit of a soft spot for catra (I mean its more that that but we're not gonna get into that rn) and shes all 🥺👉👈 do you think mebbe I could go and talk to adora and see if i could convince her to join the light? she might be so happy to see me that she'd say yes?

and little sister and prime are all "lmao this kid" and "oh you sweet summer child, how precious you are. sure, it's worth a try" but at the same time they both know that adora isn't an idiot and that she's gonna put two and two together and realize pretty quick why catra isn't dead and why she has a chip but hasn't been seen in years. and oh gee yeah I mean you've been committing God awful horrific atrocities but sure I'll come with you and join ur cult ex bestie sure ♡•°` so little sister pretty much promises prime that she'll kidnap adora if/when she says no to catra both bc adora is a good asset to have Anyway and bc like it or not she's got a soft spot for catra too, even if she's a spoiled little fuck who gets special treatment.

so adora obvs says no and catra is all 🥺 and little sister is all 😤🙄😒🗡🗡 and so adora gets kidnapped...? politely taken prisoner? ... rescued from maybe being blown up? ... reunited with her ex-bestie who she abandoned to prolly/potential doom? lmao pick one. catra is pouting bc adora was mean and rude even tho catra was so excited and happy to see her again and adora is grumpy and stubborn and impolite and little sister is like "I hate you both So Much" and prime is all "drama! I love it :3"

aaand I gotta go run errands and try to be productive so I guess thats all the explanation you'll get for now.

@trashcanpunch can prolly sum it up MUCH MORE seriously than I can tho lmfao

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agustdef · 4 years

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Choose

Pairing: MJ x Reader

Genre: Established Relationship; Fluff

Word Count: 2.2K

Warning: Brief and vague mention of sex and cheating. It’s mentioned, it doesn’t happen. Nor is it suggestive.

Rating: PG-13

Author’s Note: This fic was written for the ever so sweet and lovely @jinterlude‘s birthday. I wish I could do something longer, but I’m also very happy to be able to give you this specific concept for a story. You are one of the greatest humans I’ll ever know and I hope you have the best day that you can.

MJ had always been a quirky dork. The man was all over the place and would do the weirdest things at the weirdest times. It was chaotic, but also adorable and YN wouldn’t change his way of being even if she could. And it’s why she tried not to question it much when he started to ask her random questions and then change the subject or disappear altogether.

That didn’t stop her from being curious each time it happened though.

The first incident was when they were sat down in their shared apartment eating dinner. One second MJ was shoveling food into his mouth at an alarming rate - one that made her worried he would choke on it - and the next he was staring at her so intensely she was a tad uncomfortable. Of course, YN ignored it for a while hoping he’d stop or say something but when two minutes passed she grew mildly annoyed.

“What?” she asked, looking up from her plate.

Instead of the usual smirk that played on his lips once he successfully annoyed her there were pursed lips and a furrowed brow. He continued not speaking for a moment or two and then when he did it wasn’t what she expected.

“A or B?” he asked.

YN sat there confused, but when there was no follow up and his serious expression didn’t waver she responded.

“Uh… B.”

At that MJ nodded and went back to eating his dinner. YN perplexed opened her mouth to question it, but he looked so into inhaling the rest of his dinner that she left it alone. Well, that and she knew that he would break sooner rather than later on what that was about.

Or that was what she assumed would happen.

For the rest of the night MJ said nothing and acted like it was a normal evening. They cleaned the dishes together, got ready for sleep, and spent the evening cuddled in bed watching some random show that happened to be on when they got into bed most nights. Neither were that invested, but also invested enough to be sad when they missed an episode because they’d gotten into bed too late or fell asleep too early.

The usual routine is what made her forget about the question until another incident happened.

About a week later MJ called her while she was at work and usually that was a highlight of her day, especially when they day had been tiring. But there was no small talk, nor did he try his usual mood maker tactics on her.

He said four words.

“1, 2, or 3?”

Midway through a greeting YN paused and her brows furrowed in confusion. Why in the world had he asked her that and why was it the second time? What could he possibly be having her choose?

However, none of those questions could be asked aloud before he was speaking again.

“Kinda urgent, my sun. Which one?”

The pet name got her out of her head and helped brighten her day for a moment, which meant she could answer him.

“Hm… I wanted to say 1, but how about 3?”

There was a soft laugh from the other side of the phone and it was music to her ears. MJ’s laughs were infectious, especially when they were the loud ones, but something about his gentler ones just sparked joy inside of her. They were just so cute.

“Thank you, my sun. I love you. And don’t forget we’re doing movie night tonight,” he said.

“I love you too. Also, I didn’t and don’t think I don’t remember you saying that I could take your turn on choosing this time.”

There was a horrible attempt at the phone cutting out from his end that she rolled her eyes at.

“I’m sor- I ca- hear you. I’ll ta- to y-y-you later. Bye!”

That left YN with something to laugh about for the rest of the day, especially when things felt like they were a bit too much for her. But questions lingered in the back of her head for longer than they had the last time.

Naturally, she forgot over time or for the most part she did. But that was only because MJ was being extra weird outside of the questions. He still asked them at random times, even having their friend Jinwoo ask her once and going so far as to add the question onto the card for the flowers he’d sent her one day at work.

But her true focus was the secretiveness that went along with it. Outside of the questions he was obviously hiding something from her. She trusted him so she knew it wasn’t cheating - plus he was never gone enough for that to be a thing. And that man was not a fan of quickies so there was no way he had them at work or between work hours. There was also the fact that one of his friends always was near when he was heading out and she definitely knew that wasn’t happening since they preferred to love MJ from a distance. Plus a few were her friends first and they’d never betray her like that.

And with that off the table that meant she was left scrambling for something or anything to explain what was going on. All she could think of is it being some sort of surprise for her, but her mind kept glossing over the one possibility. Not once did she think of it, not even to dismiss it as an option.

It worked in MJ’s favor though because on the day he asked her out to dinner for the following evening she was still none the wiser. All her focus seemed to be on the joy of going to a restaurant they hadn’t in a while and not needing to dress extra fancy to do so. His job held a lot of work dinners and she came as his date most of the time, which meant so much dressing up when she just wanted to relax at home or with friends.

When venturing to the best kimchi stew place with the best view she didn’t mind it. That meant she slipped on a pair of jeans, wore a cute top, and could wear any non-heels in her possession. Once ready to go she met MJ out in the car where she got to see his outfit for the first time all day. It was casual, but something about it was a bit more put together and intentionally stylish. She didn’t think to say anything though because it wasn’t rare that he did it; plus, she was against adding something as little as that to her pile of suspicion.

Besides, she planned to ask him about it during their date.

They bided the time in the car talking about their week and the ridiculous thing Sanha had done the day before and how Eunwoo had seemed ready to kill him. Which meant the week went about how it normally did, because Eunwoo often looked ready to just unload on his chaotic friend group. The poor bean was perpetually stressed out and done with all of them.

Something that YN and everyone found hilarious. Though sometimes she took mercy on him and got them in line, especially when they grated on her nerves as well.

Upon arrival they pulled into a spot and walked into the building, being directed to their favorite seats immediately. Both were such frequent customers that they knew the staff by name and vice versa. Everyone knew what they liked and did their best to accommodate them because they all got along so well. It was a nice space to be.

Once in their seats YN’s eyes drifted to the window next to them. Through it you could see the cityscape. The buildings high, the lights bright, and the people and cars moving about. It was peaceful despite the inherent busyness and chaos that came with living in a city. At some point in life she may have enjoyed the quiet of a smaller town or a suburb, but she would never change out of the city for that. At least not with the way she lived her life in that moment. Maybe when she and MJ were married with kids to raise would she wish for a change of pace.

“You going to stare out the window all night? I’m sure my face is just as beautiful,” MJ teased.

YN made a fake gagging noise and then laughed.

“That was so cheesy,” she said.

“I know. Speaking of, are we getting the usual?”

“Of course.”

And just like magic their waiter, Hyuk, strolled over to take their order. There was some light small talk before he was off putting the order in, though YN was sure they started it the moment they walked through the door. They never changed it unless they added another item on as some sort of side, so there was no need to guess or wait for them to come to a decision.

As they waited they talked about anything and everything, well anything that was light. They’d swerved into the topic of a case the YN worked that was particularly hard and when MJ saw how much it took out of her to speak about it he changed the subject. However, he kept the focus on her and a story she had to tell. Something he’d explained to her once as a way to get off a not great conversation, but still letting her know that he was there to listen to whatever she wanted to tell him.

“I think you should do pink,” he said.

“Pink? You think I should dye my hair pink?” she asked incredulously.

MJ nodded, pausing as Hyuk sat their stew, side dishes, and drinks down before leaving.

“Yeah, pink would suit you well. We can even dye it together if you want. Hot pink.”

No response felt right for YN so she just left him sitting there with his ridiculous idea and grabbed her spoon to gather a bit of the broth to drink. Even when he did that dork eyebrow wiggle she ignored him, motioning for him to eat his food. After a few seconds he did, though there was a look in his eyes that she couldn’t place. It wasn’t the earlier mischief, but it did indicate he was up to something.

She would’ve said something right then and there, but the taste of the stew had her releasing an involuntary moan as she did. The taste was just so perfect and she was much hungrier than she assumed, so the thought of talking was over before it truly started.

And they remained like that. Eating wasn’t a talkative affair, so the silence was fine. Well, silence with the occasional whisper of how they loved the food so much and would do anything for it.

They were both weird.

Dinner finished quickly enough and the moment the dishes were collected they were replaced with their usual bingsu. It was chocolate oreo and way too sweet, but also way too good. They didn’t have it every time or at least that was the lie YN liked to tell herself so she could validate getting it the next time they came.

The lie had no one fooled.

While YN dug in almost immediately MJ did not and when she didn’t notice his spoon fighting to steal her scoop she looked up. Surprisingly, MJ wasn’t there and that confused her, until she turned her head and saw him down on one knee with an open ring box in his hand. He wore a bright smile and the joy in his eyes matched it.

“I’ve been asking you a million random this or that questions for weeks now trying to figure out how to do this. You’ve helped me with so many decisions, but in the end of it all they didn’t feel right. So, with the last thing I asked you helped me realize that this was best. That I wanted to ask you to marry me, to be my wife in a place we both love with a view that very few places could beat. YN, my sun, I love you with my entire being. And I know my personality can be a lot sometimes, but you love all sides of me regardless of how you sometimes lock me out of the bedroom for peace. Or make me go to JinJin’s. And I love you the same way. So, if you don’t mind I’d like to ask one more question. Yes or no?”

YN felt her stomach churn and her heart beat erratically. There was just so much joy inside of her that her body didn’t know how to handle it and she felt a little overwhelmed, but in the best possible way. The man she loved and who she’d spoken to about their future life proposed to her in one of her favorite places and included her in the entire process. Even if she didn’t know about it.

“Yes,” she said, her voice shaky.

And without another word MJ slipped the ring onto her finger and stood up, pulling her into a tight embrace. They laughed and they cried throughout the night. Both of them on cloud nine.

#kwritersworldnet #mj x reader #myungjun x reader #myungjun fluff #mj fluff #mj au #myungjun au #mj fanfic #mj fanfiction #astro fanfic #astro fanfiction #mj astro #kim myungjun #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction

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