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cali-holland · 4 years

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Sweet as Sugar- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: Tom’s on a strict diet to bulk up, meaning he can’t have sweets… but you keep baking too many desserts for just you and your housemate, so you decide to share with him, your neighbor.

Word Count: 3100

Warnings: low key body positivity issues on tom’s end i mean tom’s on a bulking diet so idk, does that count?? , mentions of sex, maybe swearing

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

A/N: i got an ask yesterday that kinda pushed me into completing this fic, so here it is :) enjoy me actually finishing something for once

~~~

“Why do we have baby food in the fridge?” Harry asked, holding up a suspicious looking bottle of yellow slosh.

“That’s my lunch.” Tom grumbled as he came into the kitchen, taking the bottle from his brother. Harry just shrugged and moved along to get his own lunch out, which was leftover nachos from last night.

“Ah, it’s that time of year again.” Harrison laughed when he noticed Tom’s scrunched up nose, trying to drink his protein shake without having it touch his tongue.

“Oh yeah,” Harry chuckled, “You have to bulk up.”

“The rest of the diet is fine. I can handle the cut back on sweets and carbs, but this shit?” Tom held up the yellow drink in his hands, “I hate it.”

“You have fun with that while we enjoy these.” His brother teasingly held up the nachos that Tom desperately wanted to eat, but he knew couldn’t. Instead, he took a drink out of his shake, physically restraining himself from gagging on the flavor. It wasn’t like he could add anything to it to make it taste better; his trainer had a very strict meal plan for him for the next several weeks, and that was accompanied by a very strict exercise routine. He just had to suck it up— literally.

Meanwhile, you let out a sigh as you stood in your kitchen, looking at the two dozen cupcakes you just made. Of course your cousin would cancel her baby shower that you were catering with desserts after you made said desserts. You only had one housemate, and there was no way that the two of you could eat all of them before they go stale.

“Oh no, are they the wrong color?” Your roommate asked, stepping into the kitchen once she saw the frustrated look on your face.

“I just spent hours making these vanilla cupcakes and now the shower’s been canceled. I don’t know what to do with all these cupcakes now.” You explained as you leaned on the counter, eyeing the now unnecessary cupcakes.

“Too many cupcakes— I never thought we’d have that problem.” She laughed. “Why don’t you give them to Tom?”

“Our neighbor?” You looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“I mean, unless you’re into another guy living in that house, but as I recall, Tom’s the only one you can’t talk to.” She said as she picked up a cupcake for herself, “Whoever you give them to, save us a few. I love your baking.”

“There’s no way I’m doing that.” You shook your head at her.

“Come on, this is the perfect excuse to talk to him.” She encouraged you through a mouthful of blue vanilla cupcake.

“No, I can’t just give him cupcakes randomly.”

“Sure you can! The way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach.” She teased. “Look at the guys that live in that house; they can definitely eat two dozen cupcakes before they go stale. You know I’m right.”

“I hate you sometimes.” You grumbled, taking off your apron and putting the cupcakes into your carrier, specially designed for keeping them stable for traveling.

As your housemate continued to eat her cupcake in pure bliss, you made your way to the house next door with your cupcakes in hand. You felt like it was a stupid idea, but you couldn’t let the cupcakes go to waste. With a small sigh, you knocked on your neighbor’s door, hoping that anyone would answer it besides- well, besides Tom, but by the time you thought that, he already had the door open.

The moment you looked into his chocolate brown eyes, you froze, completely blanking on the reason why you’re there. It wasn’t the “you’re a celebrity” shock; it was the “you’re my super attractive neighbor and you’re really nice and you work out in front of your house sometimes and it kills me” shock. Luckily, he was kind enough to save you from furthering your own embarrassment.

“Are those cupcakes?” He asked curiously as he looked down at the container in your hands.

“Oh, um, yeah,” You answered. “I made these cupcakes for my cousin’s baby shower and it got canceled, so now I have 20 cupcakes, and I thought maybe you’d like them? You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, and I realize now that this is incredibly weird and random, but I swear I haven’t poisoned them or anything.”

Tom laughed, nodding his head, “Poisoned or not, I’ll take them. I’m sure they’re fantastic anyway.”

“Thank you.” You handed him the container, and he immediately opened it up, reaching for one. You saw the smile drop from his face as he slowly retracted his hand.

“Sorry, I-“ He paused, clearing his throat. “I’m about to have lunch so I shouldn’t spoil it. I’ll definitely have one later though.” And just like that, the smile was back on his face.

“No worries.” You smiled.

“Well, thank you, Y/N.” Tom smiled, and you felt your heart flutter. You didn’t know he knew your name; you hadn’t spoken in the three months you lived next door to him (unless you count his football landing in your backyard and you throwing it back over the fence for him).

Without another word, you turned around and darted back into the safety of your house. Tom stayed on his doorstep, watching your retreating figure in confusion. As he stepped back inside his house, he let out a sigh, looking down at the cupcakes in his hands.

“Who was that?” Harry asked through a mouthful of nachos.

“Y/N from next door.” Tom replied, trying his best to hide the small blush on his cheeks at the thought of the random encounter.

“The cute one that doesn’t talk to you?” Harrison inquired, and Tom was quick to send him a glare.

“She gave us cupcakes.” He put the container on the counter as a way to wordlessly let his housemates have at them.

“Marry her.” Harry stated, nachos abandoned for a sweet cupcake. Harrison barely even chewed the first one, making his way to a second.

“It’s just cupcakes.” Tom tried to play it off.

“Uhuh, just cupcakes.” His younger brother nudged him teasingly.

“Stop pouting and go back to your protein shake.” Harrison joked. Grumbling incoherently, Tom did just that— he went back to his protein shake and continued the art of keeping the disgusting taste from touching his tongue.

A few days later, the cupcakes were cleared from the container, eaten and enjoyed by everyone except for Tom (even Tessa got some because Paddy dropped crumbs on the floor when they came over). With your cleaned container in hand, Tom made his way over to your house next door. He nervously smoothed out his t-shirt one last time before knocking on your door.

“Coming!” He heard you call from inside. A couple moments later, you opened up the door in surprise.

“Oh, Tom.” You said quietly, feeling insecure as you looked down at your messy apron.

“Are you baking more food?” He asked, his signature smile on his face.

“Technically not right now. I’m filling eclairs.” You replied, and his eyes went wide in surprise.

“Wow, you really know your way around the kitchen.” Tom admired, making your cheeks heat up.

“Do you- do you mind helping me for a minute? I’m having issues piping.” You sheepishly admitted. You fully expected him to say no, come up with some half-ass excuse about how he was busy, but then he surprised you with a nod.

“Of course, I’ll help.”

You stepped aside and let him inside. Leading him back into the kitchen, you asked, “How’d you like the cupcakes?”

“Oh, they were great. Really good, thank you.” He didn’t hesitate to compliment the sweet that he’d never tasted. Considering how much his friends and family loved your cupcakes though, he could only assume they were the best. He thought maybe you caught his lie, but then you just got straight to work at your eclair-covered counter. Tom set the container aside on an empty counter and quickly washed his hands.

“They keep losing their shape as I pipe them, so can you just hold them upside?” You asked, holding up a bare eclair. Tom held it as instructed and you got your piping bag together. He watched as you concentrated on filling the treat, your eyebrows furrowed together and your teeth sinking into your teeth a little. He felt his stomach begin to grumble from the intoxicating smell of your kitchen. It seemed like you had everything he couldn’t eat, just out on your counter.

“Are you hungry?” You spoke up, a few eclairs later when Tom’s stomach groaned loudly.

“Oh, no, I’m fine.” He insisted. Looking at the eclairs on the counter, he knew you’d offer him one without a second thought, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could fight off the urge to break his stupid diet.

He continued to focus on you as you focused on the eclairs. With all but a few pastries filled, you grabbed another empty one. You let out a frustrated huff as your piping bag struggled to cooperate with the pastry.

“Get in there.” You grumbled, annoyed at the difficult eclair.

“Too tight?” Tom asked.

“No, it’s just-“ You trailed off as you finally got it to work. You smiled proudly, happy that it was finally working right.

“Am I about to walk in on kitchen sex or can I come in?” You heard your housemate jokingly call out from the hallway. While you froze up in embarrassment, Tom shook with laughter. She walked into the kitchen with a smirk on her face, sending you a very obvious wink that Tom completely saw.

“You’re the worst.” You muttered, moving on to the next eclair.

“So you two just, uh, filling eclairs?” Your housemate asked, grabbing one of the filled pastries and taking a bite out of it.

“Yes, it’s a very important two person job.” Tom chuckled, and she nodded.

“Y/N, how the fuck are you so good at this?” She turned to you, taking another bite of her food. “Oh my god, Tom, you have to try these eclairs.”

“I’m good, don’t want to eat Y/N’s food.” He answered, but his stomach betrayed him with another growl.

“You seem really hungry. Are you sure you don’t want any?” You inquired, and Tom shook his head politely.

“It’s okay, really.”

“Do you want to take some home? For you and your housemates? I’ve made too many again.” You offered, making him laugh.

“You have that problem a lot, don’t you?” He teased. You playfully rolled your eyes at him as you finished the last eclair. Grabbing the container from the other counter, you began to reload it with eclairs.

“Here you go.” You smiled, holding it out to Tom.

“Thank you. I should probably get going.” He trailed off a little, sounding a bit disappointed.

“Let me know how they are.” You bid him one last farewell before he left.

When he returned home a whole minute later, he set the container full of fresh eclairs on the kitchen counter and immediately went in search for his scheduled snack, which was simply just an apple, but, compared to the eclairs he just helped make, an apple never seemed so disappointing.

“More free dessert?” Harry asked, eyes lighting up when he spotted the familiar container.

“They’re eclairs today.” Tom replied.

“On a scale of one to ten, how much does this suck?” He teased, taking a massive bite from the eclair. Tom glared at his brother before leaving the room to enjoy his apple in an eclair (and Harry) free zone.

This all became a routine between you and Tom. He’d bring you back your container after a few days and you’d fill it up (or switch it out) with more freshly made treats. Tom had to just sit back and watch everyone around him enjoy your pies, brownies, cookies, tarts, even croissants. You even made a cake and he had to bring it to a family birthday party. The more time he spent with you though, the more he found himself really liking you— but there was also the catch that the more time he spent with you, the more he struggled to maintain his diet. He almost snuck a cookie when no one was around but then he remembered the last time he broke his diet and shuddered at the thought of it.

One day, a few weeks later, Tom heard the familiar sound of your special knock on his front door. Confused because you’d given him fudge just yesterday, he opened the door.

“I got locked out.” You said as soon as he opened the door. As if you didn’t feel awkward enough around him before, now you’re really asking him for a big favor. “If it’s not overstepping, could I stay here? My housemate should be back in a bit and she has her key.”

“Come on in.” Tom stepped aside for you to come into his house. You had never actually been inside it before, and it seemed to be just as homey as yours, but with a tad more frat boy mess in it, complete with video games stashed on the shelves of the entertainment center and random beer bottles in the house.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to clean up.” He apologized, rushing to grab the empty bottles to recycle them. You just laughed in response, still taking in the home, “Do you want water or anything?”

“Water would be great, thank you.” You replied. You followed Tom into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as you waited for your water. “I’m thinking of making these cookie bar things. Are any of you allergic to nuts?”

“No food allergies here.” Tom answered with a laugh, passing you the cup filled with water. You spotted the half eaten block of fudge on his counter and smiled.

“How’s the fudge?” You asked before taking a sip of your water.

“It’s the best. Truly the best I’ve ever had.” He stated definitively.

And it happened to be at that moment that Harry came into the room, scouting for more fudge. As he picked up a piece, he realized that you and Tom were in the room, “Thank you, Y/N, for all of the food.”

“It’s no problem. I enjoy sharing it.” You smiled kindly at him.

“Too bad you can’t have any.” He teased his older brother before shoving the large piece of fudge into his mouth. As Harry left the room, Tom went red in embarrassment.

“Best fudge you’ve ever had, huh?” You asked, crossing your arms defensively.

“It’s not that I don’t like fudge— I love fudge—“

“But you don’t like mine?” You weren’t sure why you were so upset over it, but maybe it was the fact that you thought he truly enjoyed your desserts. “Did you eat any of it?”

“No.” Tom answered honestly, defeat present on his face as he hung his head in shame.

“Then why did you lie about it?” You stated, unwavering in the hurt look in your features.

Tom mumbled something, and you furrowed your eyebrows at him, unable to understand a word he said. A little bit louder, he spoke up again, “I’m on a bulking diet and I can’t have sugar, but you were really happy giving me things and— and it gave me a good excuse to actually talk to you.”

With a sheepish smile on his face, he finally looked up at you. You paused, processing his words before finding your own voice, “You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah, I’m kinda really into you.” He said. “I was going to ask you out on a date, but, uh, I can understand if you don’t—”

“I’d love to.” You cut him off quickly, not giving yourself the chance to think about your response. Tom’s eyes lit up, hopefully.

“Really?”

“Really.” You nodded. Before you could say anything further, your phone began to ring and you looked down; it was your housemate, meaning she was home now and could let you in. “I should get going.”

“Does tomorrow work? I could pick you up at 7?” Tom offered, and you smiled as the two of you made your way to his front door.

“7 sounds great. I’ll see you then.” You said, stepping out onto his porch. “Thank you, again.”

“Anytime.” He answered with a grin. Knowing he’d watch you as you walked home, you had to maintain yourself from skipping a little in happiness.

Even with your big date tomorrow though, you still barely slept, spending all night searching through fitness sites for new recipes. That night, right as the clock struck 7, you heard a knock on your door. Eagerly, you grabbed a new container full of your latest bake and opened your door.

“Before we leave, can you try this?” You asked, handing Tom the container. He looked at the appetizing bars questioningly.

“Is this a test? I can’t have—” Tom started, but you cut him off, shaking your head.

“They’re not sweets. They’re protein bars.” You explained. “I found a recipe last night. It’s peanut butter and rice protein.”

“You made me protein bars?” His voice almost broke as he looked at you in disbelief.

“Well, yeah, I feel bad for giving you so many things you couldn’t eat, so I wanted to do something for you.” You could barely get your words out before he was unceremoniously stuffing a protein bar in his mouth. He knew he had a routine that he was supposed to follow but, hey, at least this was filled with protein.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been dying to try your baking, and these are so good.” Tom sighed in relief with a clear mouth.

“So I’ll keep that recipe then.” You laughed. You stepped out of your house and closed the door behind you.

“I should drop these off. One moment.” He jogged back over to his house and threw the door open.

“These are mine! No eating them!” He shouted to his nosy housemates, putting the container of protein bars on the side table.

“Marry her!” Harry and Harrison both called back out to him as he shut the door. With a twinge of embarrassment from you hearing their words, Tom turned back to you.

“Ready?”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart @joyleenl @t-o-m-holland @lonikje @sleepybesson @sunkisseddreamer @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @gorrillaglue13 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys

Tom Tag List:@quaksonhehe @tomkindholland

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fic

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raven-nacht · 4 years

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The Owl House: Mrs. and Mr. Blight Theory

So I’m pretty sure that the mystery girl in this photo is Mrs. Blight and that this has big ramifications and foreshadowing for the whole series.

I saw this picture posted in a thread talking about how it looked like Eda had a “gal pal” herself back in school and how it was similarly interesting how Lilith actually is looking pretty jealous of that relationship. I totally agreed that is interesting, but it got me thinking about how lots of things kind of mirror each other in the series or foreshadow other things with how Luz acts like Eda or vice versa and has allowed me to think I’ve got a decent theory on how a lot of the show could be resolved.

To start, I will note that my assumption that the mystery girl is Mrs. Blight started almost entirely from trying to observe hair color.

This might seem a bit simplistic, but as mentioned in the post already put out by my roommate when we were bouncing theories off each other earlier;

www.reddit.com/r/TheOwlHouse/comments/ickxz9/i_think_we_just_got_dropped_a_huge_lead_on_who/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

hair color is very important in this series. Of the seven most prominent characters in the show, three of them have been shown to very dramatically changed their hair since they were younger in moves aligning with very prominent character development for them (Eda with the curse; Amity once she started having to no longer associate with Willow and start following the “Blight way”; and Lilith due to currently unknown reasons). It thus makes a lot of sense to me that hair color being the earliest clue to this person’s identity is totally on-brand for the show.

With the assumption that she’s Mrs. Blight there and noting she already had green hair; my first observation was that Mrs. Blight is thus the “Blight by birth”, whereas Mr. Blight married into it (and is thus a bit of a “social climber”). My next guess was then that Mrs. Blight might’ve been a bit cocky in school initially, but eventually softened and developed a crush on Eda, much like Amitu doing the same thing to Luz (since like teacher, like student). This slow-burn relationship between Mrs. Blight and Eda and the ensuing love triangle Lilith is thus my guess for how a large part of why Lilith and Eda are “two witches torn apart, now alone”. I think lingering resentments over this and the Blight’s likely-intimate connection to the Emperor’s Coven is no small part in why Eda also didn’t want to join, even though it had actually “been Eda’s dream when she was younger”, according to Lilith.

The Blight’s (presumed) intimate connection to the Emperor’s Coven, what we’ve seen about “witch status” so far, and Mr. Blight’s identity as a “social climber” are the main basis for the second part of my theories on the show though, which is that I think Mr. Blight is being setup to either be the true Big Bad of the series (or at the very least be largely responsible for a majority of the show’s conflicts). To start, I’m pretty sure that, like Lilith, he was jealous of Eda’s connection to Mrs. Blight and thus he is ultimately the one who cursed Eda (or who caused Mrs. Blight or something else to curse Eda). And, I know, your going to say that all the way back in episode 4 we saw this figure:

and that Eda said “Wait, you’re the one who cursed me, aren’t you?!” and while I do agree that that is almost certainly Mrs. Blight, I’m thinking this is a red herring or simply close to the truth. After all, we’ve already had confirmation that destroying memories isn’t that hard and it makes more sense to me that the culprit would delete all memories of themself but be less careful with getting all traces of those only secondarily related to the deed (like Mrs. Blight).

As a brief sidenote, I do wanna point out that in that thread by my roommate, a great person named npapeye pointed out a really interesting observation in that the emblem on the door by the shadow figure does seem to be the Blight family symbol and that actually made me a lot more confident in all these predictions.

Like, just look at these pictures:

It feels fair to say that between that emblem and the fact that the shadow figure wears the fully-circular glasses just like in the first picture, we can pretty safely conclude that the mystery girl is the shadow figure seen in this dream (and before you point out that Lilith also used to wear those same circular glasses; I would just note I don’t think this shadow was Lilith just because Lilith’s behavior makes very little sense to me if she was the one to curse Eda and also that Lilith doesn’t have much connection to that emblem from what I noticed).

Now then, on the subject of shadows, it felt worth pointing out that we have seen three shadows in the show so far from what I could tell. First, of course, is Eda’s dream as above where she says “I hate this memory”. The next was a very traumatic memory for Amity of her parents and how made her stay away from Willow. The third and most recent shadow we’ve seen was finally, of course, Amity’s literal greatest fear and was the shadow of Luz rejecting her.

By applying the note that both of Amity’s shadows are rooted in her greatest fears or most painful memories, it also made sense to me that Eda’s shadow and thus her connection to Mrs. Blight might also be her most painful memory or her biggest fear at the time. With that, even if Mr. Blight didn’t mess with her memory, between the ravages of the curse on her mind and her trauma that gave her this shadow, it’d still make sense how she’s forgotten the details of what happened.

Theres still a few details I had thought worth pitching in this theory. Mystery girl (who I’m still guessing is Mrs. Blight) is undeniably in the Bard Track. The Bard Track is at the top-and-center of the picture of all the covens and is the only coven that hasn’t been mentioned at all yet in the show:

First, that lack of acknowledgement of a whole track feels very suspicious. especially as we saw when Luz started classes; between Luz being initially assigned Potions and then seeing the Detention Track students’ interests, the narrative has gone out of its way to highlight seven of the nine Tracks. Secondly though, I wanted to note that Bard Track is right next to Abominations Track, which was described by Willow as being “the best track for getting ahead in the magic world and thriving”, thus causing her Dad’s to put her in said-track initially. If Bards are right next to the currently “best-known” track, it makes sense for a Blight to be in it.

Let’s finally talk a bit more on Mr. Blight though. As a social climber, he was almost certainly in the Abominations Track. His presumed-cursing of Eda likely relied on his innate magic to some degree, which felt like it could explain the “mud” mentioned in “the curse of feathers and mud” that afflicts Eda. Elsewhere, he’s likely the one with naturally brown hair and who passed it onto Amity, and I think her having said-brown hair is why he is so hard on her and pushes Amity so far, because he sees “weakness” in his origin and family hair color. (It’s still likely that when we first see him, his hair will be green though, but I bet he dyes it and pressured Amity too as well). I think this pressure to follow him is also why Amity was likely pushed to decide on Abominations Track herself on that note. My final guesses on him are that he likely works directly for Emperor Belos, he is likely the largest push behind all of Belos’ upcoming “plans” mentioned by Lilith (and possibly the motivator behind wanting to catch Eda), and that he likely has aspirations of taking the title of Emperor for himself (which would suck just because it makes Amity have to “pick sides” and that sweet cupcake deserves better... but yeah 😅).

Anyways, I’m not saying that Mrs. Blight is clear of blame with any of the above either by the way, I’m guessing she’s at least fairly complicit in his actions nowadays, I just think all this fits pretty well from the perspective of narrative mirroring and foreshadowing. The main thing I’ve since been unable to at all crack or fit in is who seems to sending letters home to Luz’s mom since none of this really explains that, but we’ll see...

(Also, there’s nowhere else to put this, but it just bears pointing out here that the shadow figures of Mrs. and Mr. Blight here are literally the most imposing hinted “villains” shown in the show so far, beating Belos and one-off villains by a landslide to me so far, and thus I think by that virtue of foreshadowing alone, if they don’t turn to be some of the biggest “challenges” for the protagonists in the show, it’ll fully flabbergast me.)

Thanks for reading though, I’ve been trying to post this for the past couple days but kept getting distracted, I hope this is a fairly new theory at least since I’ve not read most all of this anywhere else yet, instead mainly just been overthinking the show for days now.

#toh #owlhouse #owl house theory #owl house theories #amity blight

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dakotacrisis · 4 years

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Deal’s End (8)

I'll always love you and make you happy If you will only say the same But if you leave me and love another You'll regret it all some day

-You Are My Sunshine by Jimmie Davis

(Read on AO3)

---

Marinette didn’t see Felix again before she went to bed. Her confusing thoughts from earlier only grew with his absence. Before when the thought of him leaving had felt bittersweet the idea that she wouldn’t be able to talk to him again hurt deep in her chest now. She liked Felix. She liked being around him and having fun with him. She liked talking with him and walking home with him.

Perhaps this was a form of Stockholm Syndrome. Wanting your demonic roommate to stay with you because you now see them as a friend. She doubted that anyone else could relate to her though. And she couldn’t talk to anyone about this since no one knew of Felix’s true nature. She was stuck alone in a dark room with her racing thoughts and heavy heart.

Maybe...maybe he could visit after he left. She hadn’t heard Felix mention that he was confined to Hell unless he was summoned. Maybe he would be able to pop up once in a while to say hi. They could grab lunch...play a game of Mecha Strike.

“UGH!” She buried her face in her pillow. Why was she getting so worked up about this now? Yeah she kinda saw Felix as her friend but there was no use worrying about life after he was gone when he was still very much in her life.

But for how much longer though? Once she was Adrien’s girlfriend Felix would be gone.

She forced the thoughts out of her head. This was not the night to worry about this. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

The next day was a lazy day spent inside. The weather had taken a bad turn and a torrential downpour soaked the city. Marinette spent it in her room catching up on work and reorganizing. Pretty much anything to keep her mind busy and off of the looming worries for the future. Felix had reappeared in the morning though he was far quieter than usual. He mainly kept off to the side scribbling stuff down in his notebook. Randomly he would tear a page out and burn the paper instantaneously in his hand before starting again.

Marinette had asked what he was doing to which he gave a vague answer of ‘stuff.’ She tried to peek over his shoulder but he hid the page from view. “Nosy girl.”

“Why won’t you let me see what you’re doing?” Marinette asked.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Will you show me if I get you eclairs?” she smiled as the bribe hit its mark.

He looked up at her, his eyes widened at the promise of chocolatey foods. “How many eclairs?”

“As many as it takes for you to show me what’s on that paper.”

“I want ten eclairs and one of those red velvet cupcakes from the bakery.”

“Okay.” Marinette started heading downstairs. “It better not be something stupid!”

She grabbed the snacks from the bakery and went back up for the trade. She held out the box to Felix who reluctantly swapped it with his notebook. On the page was the start of a rough sketch hunched over a table. “You draw?” Marinette smiled as she took in the new information. “I didn’t know that about you.”

“It helps pass the time.” He shrugged as he downed another eclair.

She looked closer at the figure trying to figure out what he was going for from the rough outline. Then she saw the pigtails to the back of the hunched figure’s head. The box on top of the table...it was a sewing machine. Felix had been drawing her work.

She wanted desperately to ask why but figured it was for the best she not let on she knew it was her he was drawing and handed the notebook back. “It’s very good.”

“I’ve barely started.”

“Yeah but I can tell.” She plucked the half eaten eclair out of his hand. “That being said try not to get crumbs all over my chaise.”

“That was mine!” He made a pathetic grab for the bite of eclair she held.

“Not anymore.” She popped it into her mouth. “That was a nice break but I need to get back to work.” She sat down at her machine and picked up where she had left off. She wanted to talk to him about what happened last night but thought it better for another day. Or maybe she was too scared of what answer he would give to ask.

The rest of the day passed by without incident and with it their weekend off came to a close. Monday was upon them and so was Felix’s vigor to throw Marinette head first into situations with Adrien. She had gotten better at handling the sudden interactions. Maybe spending more time together had finally neutralized her utter terror of being alone with him cause now she could talk to him almost normally. Heck, she was even cracking jokes!

“So did you want to hang out after school?” Marinette asked Adrien.

“I’d like to but I got a photoshoot today.” Adrien sighed, “Maybe next time.”

“Oh okay.” Marinette smiled despite her disappointment. She went to Felix with a small shake of her head. “He said he has a photoshoot and can’t hang out. His dad must have penned it in last minute because I had no idea.”

“That sucks.” Felix paced the back of the classroom. “But you look really good today and you have confidence in talking to him. I don’t want to waste either of those.”

“But he’s going to be working and there’s no way his dad is going to let him out of it. Let’s just go home and try again tomorrow.” Marinette stared down at her toes. “This is kinda fortuitous cause I wanted to talk to you about the other night--”

“Wait! I got it!” Felix grabbed her and pulled her out into the hall. Everyone was filtering out of the school building including Adrien. “Do you know where the photoshoot is?”

“Uh, the weather is nice and summer is on the way so they’re probably doing a summer shoot in the park. Why?”

“Cause we can still work with this. Follow me!” Felix dashed out of the school with Marinette shortly behind. Sure enough they got to the park and the shoot was being set up.

“Okay, we’re here.” Marinette panted as she caught her breath. “What now? You’re just going to walk onto the set?”

“That was the plan.” Felix started walking towards the workers. Adrien’s security guard stopped them from getting closer to the set.

“Excuse me sir,” Felix said, “Could you move aside? We’re here for the photoshoot.”

The bodyguard remained in place. “You see, I am one of the models working today so I kinda need in.”

The bodyguard nodded and moved out of the way. Felix pulled Marinette through. “Felix, you’re not a model.” She whispered.

“Harsh, I think I’m pretty good looking.”

“That’s not what I meant. You are literally not a model employed by Gabriel Agreste. How long do you expect that excuse to work?”

“As long as possible. Demon powers, remember?”

“Right!” Marinette had almost forgotten. “So we’re okay?”

“We are golden.” They celebrated their little infiltration before Adrien noticed they were there.

“Hey guys,” He greeted them, “What are you two doing here?”

“I got called in last minute to fill in for a sick model.” Felix lied smoothly.

“Oh, I had no idea you were a model too.” Adrien breamed instantly taken in by the lie.

“Minor. It helps pay the bills.” Felix shrugged. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought Marinette. Seeing as how she loves fashion so much.”

“Not at all.” Adrien waved to her, “Guess we get to hang out after all.”

“You two have fun I need to find wardrobe.” Felix wandered off. Wait, was he actually going to do the shoot?

“Did you know Felix was a model?” Adrien asked Marinette.

“I didn’t have a clue until he dragged me over here.” She said. She looked over Adrien’s outfit. White tee shirt with blue pants and tan shoes. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that this is part of the ready made summer collection you’re dad’s putting out this summer?”

“That it is. What do you think?”

“I would kill to be able to work with grade A material like this all the time.” Marinette sighed as she felt the cottony texture of his sleeve. “I just blew all my money buying organza for a dress I’m making.”

“Oh really? Were you commissioned or is it just for yourself?”

“For myself. It’s a sheer overlay that is supposed to sorta party wear with a low-key formal vibe.”

“How far have you gotten?”

“Pretty far actually. I started pinning it together on my dress form not too long ago. I’m using strips of silver ribbon to sew onto the hem and make a little criss cross pattern across the bust. The most nerve wracking part was that I decided to make it a high-low silhouette and I knew I only had one shot to cut it correctly so I am so relieved it’s turned out okay.”

“I hope to see it one day.”

“Hello, I am back,” Felix joined the once more. “Now, I know I look amazing but neither of you swoon in my presence.”

“Oh yeah, you look so good.” Marinette rolled her eyes before she finally actually looked at him. The sarcastic remark turning bitter as she realized that he did in fact look pretty darn good in the outfit they had put him in. It wasn’t anything special, a blue button up shirt with white pants and brown shoes. What struck Marinette was that the whole time she’d known Felix all she had ever seen him wear was primarily reds and blacks. This was the first time she had seen him in something so light.

“Something on your mind, love?” Felix smirked at her when he caught her staring.

“Shut it.” she tweaked his nose. “But I will say you do look...what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Devilishly handsome?” Felix suggested.

“I was gonna say, angelic.” Marinette smirked right back at him.

“Oh really?” Felix gaped at her with an open smile, “Alright, if that’s how you want to play this.”

“Is this an inside joke I’m not understanding?” Adrien asked clearly confused as to why Marinette’s compliment had been met with such good natured disdain.

“Yeah.” Marinette laughed. “I won’t bother trying to explain. It’s a long story and you’d really have to be there to understand it.”

One of the assistants ran past the three teenagers and pulled the photographer away. That was weird. A minute later the photographer came back with a pained expression. “Something wrong, Giuseppe?” Adrien asked.

“The female model for the shoot is sick and can’t make it. We will have to reschedule the entire shoot if we cannot find another model to take her place.” The photographer rubbed his temples.

“I have a suggestion,” Felix spoke up. He cast a wicked sideways glance towards Marinette. Oh he had better not! “Our friend Marinette here isn’t half bad looking. Could she fill in?”

“Felix!” She warned, “I’m not a model. I couldn’t possibly--”

“Oh please, mademoiselle,” The photographer begged. “It is a small shoot after all. Could you fill in just this once?”

“I don’t--”

“You should do it.” Adrien encouraged. “I think you’d make a great model.”

“Well…” She looked back at the manic photographer and sighed. “Okay.”

“Perfecto! Ladies!” He shouted for the stylists. “Get this girl through make up and wardrobe now!”

Marinette was carted off and put into a small tent area to change. She sat in a chair as the stylists quickly but masterfully did her hair and make up before kicking her out onto the set. Unlike the boys were sporting white and blue, Marinette was dressed in a soft yellow sundress that floated around her gently in the breeze.

“There she is!” The photographer pushed her out to where the two boys were already staged. “Now, the look for this shoot is that you two boys are the sky and clouds and our pretty girl here is the bright sun between you. Dewy smiles, relaxed positions, I want you three to move around naturally so we can get some natural shots.”

The boys seemed to understand immediately what they were supposed to do but Marinette stood in the middle stiff as a board. Why had she let them talk her into this? It was probably Felix influencing them with his powers to let them agree to this.

“Darling,” The photographer locked eyes with her, “Can you please move around and give us a smile, hm?”

“Oh right,” She put on a smile and tried to copy what the boys were doing but she just felt ridiculous. The boys noticed her struggling and suddenly she was being spun around really fast by Felix.

“Whoa!” She almost stumbled but was caught by Adrien. “Sorry!”

“It’s okay. Loosen up,” Adrien gave her a slower spin, “This is supposed to be fun.”

“Fun.” Marinette took a deep breath, “I can do that.”

After that things went smoother. It didn’t feel so much like posing but messing around with two friends. At one point both of the boys picked her up so she was sitting in the air with arms around either of them. The photographer really liked that shot.

“Alright,” The photographer set the camera down, “Signore Adrien, you are done for the day.”

“This was a lot of fun.” Adrien turned to Marinette and Felix. “These shoots can be pretty boring but having you guys here was so much better. Hopefully I’ll get to work with you again sometime.”

“It was fun after I got used to it.” Marinette said, “But I gotta say I think I prefer making clothes instead of modeling them.”

“Darling, Signore,” The photographer waved to the teenagers, “If you two could come back to set. I wanted to get some shots of just the two of you.”

“Who? Us?” Marinette pointed to her and Felix.

“Yes, it is time for Signore Adrien to head home but you two have such good chemistry. That is if you do not have anywhere to be.” The photographer said.

Good chemistry…

“I don’t have anywhere else to be.” Felix looped an arm around Marinette, “And I know you don’t. How about it?”

“Uh sure.” Marinette said bye to Adrien before joining Felix back on the set.

“The model lie work a little too well?” Marinette asked under her breath so only Felix could hear.

“I can’t help it that we look good.” Felix responded. “Also, you’re now going to grace magazines and media dressed like a ray of sunshine and sandwiched between two extremely attractive fellas. Do you have any idea how envious people are gonna be of you?”

“I don’t want people to envy me. I just wanted to have a fun time with my friends.” Marinette sighed. “But a little exposure in any way can help down the line.”

“Friends?” Felix paused his posing for a second to stare at her.

“Yeah.” Marinette grabbed his hand and stretched to twirl him. “We are friends...aren’t we?”

Felix smiled once more and picked Marinette up and spun her around. A surprised laugh leapt out of her throat as she spun the air in his arms. “Felix!”

“And to think you wanted to get rid of me!” He laughed too. “No take backs either, love.”

“Put me down!” Marinette playfully swatted him on top of his head. He set her back on her feet as she tried to slow the spinning of her head. “You are so dramatic.”

“Well I’m sorry. You don’t get a whole lot of friends where I’m from.” He held Marinette straight so she didn’t sway. “I got a little excited.”

“Obviously.” She ruffled his hair. “Which means you’ll need to come visit after you leave.”

“Leave?” Felix looked confused for a moment before the understanding parted the clouds in his mind. “Oh yes, of course.”

“You will be able to come back and visit, won’t you?” Marinette pressed. Felix gave her a sad look.

“Marinette…”

“I think we have it!” The photographer stepped forth waving his camera excitedly. “Your pictures were perfection, darlings! The expressions so sincere! The poses and body language between you so natural! These will grace magazines and billboards all across Paris!”

“Oh great,” Felix nodded. “Does that mean we are free to go now?”

“Yes,” The photographer stepped aside to let them go get changed. “And if either of you want to make a career out of modelling I know a wonderful agency that would take the both of you in a heartbeat.”

“Thank you, sir.” Marinette stayed to look at a couple of the photos he had taken before going to change.

She was in the middle of pulling her pants back on when Felix popped his head in. “Hey are you--” he noticed her stooped over with her pants around her ankles and snorted. “Are those dumplings on your underwear?”

“GET OUT!” Marinette hiked her pants up and chased him out of the dressing room forgetting her shoes and bag behind her. She chased Felix around the park in her bare feet. “You are so dead!”

“This isn’t very friendly behaviour!” he shrieked as he ran from her.

“Neither is what’s gonna happen when I catch you!” Marinette let out a hysterical laugh as they played their game. Questions she had and answers she feared still sat in her mind but she let them alone for now. She didn’t know how much longer she was gonna have this with Felix and she wanted to make it last while it did.

---

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (9)

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(tagged)

@sannsibarr @miss-mysterys-blog @maribug-adrienoir @mermaidreject @corabeth11 @goblinwhoships @symwinter @yourgeekysister

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #felix #felinette #demon au #writing

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hes-writer · 5 years

Text

Harry and Y/N are roommates (2)

Summary: Harry and Y/N are officially living together

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 1.1k

“Why do you have my number written on you,”

“Your friend Liam wrote it on me,”

“Liam? Now, why would he do that,”

“Because he said that you were looking for a roommate and I was looking for one too”

——————-

Y/N was on her way to meet Harry at his apartment. After an embarrassing first encounter, she somehow found the courage to walk up to him just outside the lecture hall, finding him with one foot propped against the wall to balance himself while from the distance, his body language suggested that he was definitely interested in the girl who was currently blushing from the compliments that came out of his mouth. She really didn’t want to interfere, she’d much rather let him be with his flirting and flattering and all that but Y/N was getting desperate. Throughout the whole class, her phone kept vibrating against the table and she eventually got annoyed by the constant disruption that she couldn’t help but stuff the device in her pocket. Although her phone was on silent– as to not further disrupt the class– Y/N had forgotten that it was still on vibrate and when she felt it against her skin, her leg bumped against the armrest with a painful ‘thud’. Harry chuckled quietly, she heard him. It only made her cower back in her seat, wanting to make herself as small as possible.

When Y/N walked up to him, she uncomfortably clear her throat to get his attention, and what she got back with a menacing glare; a full one that made a crease on his forehead, nostrils flaring and she was sure that his teeth were gritting behind his tightly closed lips. He had crossed his arms over his broad chest, excusing himself from the girl he was having a conversation with.

“What do you want?”

“Uhm, I just wanted to see if you were still looking for a roommate,” Her eyes focused on anything but him. She felt like he was judging her so hard right now.

His whole demeanor changed after the words spilled from her mouth and he smirked at her. Dropping his muscular arms by his side, he bent down so that he was in direct level with Y/N’s face.

“123 Stone Road, Thursday at 3,” He grinned slightly when she nodded timidly. “We’ll talk then,”

“Okay, gotcha. I’ll be there!”

“Good. You have my number, call me when you get there,”

——

Y/N got to the lobby of the apartment after calling Harry to buzz her in. I took a while, god knows what he was doing, but she ultimately escaped the cold weather and got inside that warm building. She was currently waiting for the elevator doors to open so that she could go up to the twelfth floor as Harry had instructed her. She hummed silently to the tune of the soft music playing through the speakers. Fancy, she thought.

Once the bells dinged and the screen displayed the number ‘12’, Y/N straightened her back out in an effort to prepare herself from whatever has yet to happen. She was carrying a goodie basket filled with baked goods such as cupcakes, cookies, and muffins; maybe it’ll soften his heart and he’d pick her to be his roommate.

She knocked on the wooden door, taking a deep inhale and smelling the sweet aroma of the basket that she carried. There was some rustling behind the door and then a silence just behind the barrier; she imagined Harry squinting one eye against the peephole to see a fish-eyed version of herself, probably looking incredibly stupid because she was gaping and staring directly at it right now.

“Hey, come on in”

Y/N hesitantly took a step forward in the prospective apartment. She stood in the middle of the doorway observing the place, deciding if she could see herself living in it. And she could. Just after the main door was the bathroom and hall closet, then there was a small storage area which she could see held the washer and dryer machine. It was a mess and Harry was definitely the messy type. Walking further, there were two bedroom doors adjacent to each other and she assumed that one would be hers (hopefully). After that, the apartment broke open into the dining area which was essentially a table and some chairs near the kitchen. The kitchen was quite elegant, marble counters and a modern finish. The sleek appliances seemed new and the living room was in direct opposition to it. It had large windows that showcased the rising skyscrapers of the city below, from the distance she could discern the campus.

“What’s your name again?” Harry spoke from behind her, pulling her out of her daydream.

“Y/N. This is a nice place,” He nodded in agreement. “I bought snacks,”

He propped himself up at a bar stool, slightly spinning before taking a more serious front.

“Are you messy?”

“No,”

“Do you know how to cook?”

“Yes, do you?”

“Yeah, I used to work in a bakery,” He stated proudly, head profoundly bobbing in encouragement.

“Okay, cool.”

“Do you like parties?”

“I guess, I don’t really go to them,”

“I see, so if I were to throw on–”

“I’d just stay in my room, it’s your party. None of my business,’

He smiled at what she said, abruptly jumping off of his current sitting position and stuck a hand out to her.

“Y/N, I’m Harry Styles, but you already knew that. Welcome to the apartment,”

“Wha-, are you serious? That’s it?” She asked incredulously. She spent some time last night meticulously rehearsing answers she thought he might ask and she woke up extra early today to bake him food that apparently didn’t even sway him into giving her the roommate position.

“I mean if you don’t want to I can always find some–”

“NO! No need. It’s all good. Hi roomie,” She grinned at him, taking his hand into her much smaller ones and giving it a light shake, up and down, maybe three times. Roomie? Really, Y/N.

She couldn’t believe that he was trusting someone she knew only yesterday and maybe it was stupid, but surely if he was loved by a lot of girls– he couldn’t be that bad.

Boy, was she wrong.

——–

thiS one sucks and it’s a slow burn

let me know what you think

taglist; @ynm1505 @namelesslosers @itsasignofthetimess @harryshonestlyperfect

#harry #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shots #harry styles oneshot #harry styles oneshots #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fluff #harry styles writings #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #one direction #hes-writer #my writing #harry styles blurb #harry style blurbs

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ponyregrets · 5 years

Note

for the friends-to-lovers prompts, i found this in a text post i once reblogged: "we drunk-kissed but you forgot about it and i don’t know how to act around you anymore wtf". hope you have a nice day !!!

I combined this with another prompt (a tweet about a teacher with a birthday message on his forehead) from @allstandsilver

AO3!

Bellamy's first mistake is assuming that he's safe because his twenty-eighth birthday is on a Monday.

He doesn't make any plans, obviously. Celebrating the weekend before always feels kind of like cheating, but he invited people out for drinks on Friday, which he assumed was sufficient. It wasn't like he was ignoring his birthday.

When he gets home from work, Clarke isn't there, which isn't particularly surprising, but she has left a cupcake with a single candle on the kitchen counter, and a card that says, Happy birthday! See you in a couple hours, I hope. It's a fairly typical Clarke message, one that would have pissed him off, once upon a time. He moved in with her because the rent was cheap and the apartment was nice, and Clarke was friends with Monty, who is his friend who is least likely to tell him to move in with someone who is secretly awful as a joke.

And Clarke really isn't awful. The biggest issue was that she's rich and her parents own her very nice condo, and Bellamy was surly and vaguely resentful about the way she didn't have to work like a normal person and could still take care of herself. He might have been benefiting from her wealth, but that didn't make him like her.

Luckily, Clarke could do that all on her own. Within about a month, their bickering had moved from barbed to affectionate, and as he got to know her, he started to realize how hard Clarke did work, albeit with weird hours and less compensation than most people would need to survive. She wasn't an idle rich person, she was a rich person who took advantage of being well off to do what she wanted. It sucked that he couldn't do the same, but that's not really Clarke's fault. She works part-time for Planned Parenthood and volunteers at various museums and goes to parties her mother has just to argue with rich assholes, and on the side, she does art.

Now that he likes her, he's glad she's got the life she wants. She deserves it.

Right now, she's probably in her studio, so he texts Do you want me to make dinner for you or are you good? and goes to find a beer. He's going to have a couple drinks, not do any grading, and play video games, and when Clarke gets home, she'll probably hang out with him. It's a pretty good birthday plan, as far as he's concerned.

When the door opens half an hour into this plan, he calls, "Hey, welcome back!" and doesn't think anything of Clarke's not responding until the blindfold goes on.

"Happy birthday, dickweed," says Murphy, and shoves at shot into his hand.

"We love you," Miller adds.

"If you really loved me, you'd let me stay home and play Stardew Valley."

Miller takes one of his arms and Murphy takes the other and they pull him up and out of the apartment. He doesn't resist that much--they're probably not going to kill him on purpose, and if they got into the apartment, Clarke is at least involved, and she won't let them kill him by accident--but he makes sure there's enough resistance that they know he's not thrilled about this turn of events.

When he gets into the car, he gets another shot, and then Clarke says, "Your safe word is banana cream pie."

"Really?" he asks, downing the shot. It does actually taste like banana cream pie, which is kind of terrifying. "Is my safe word supposed to be dirty? That seems counter-productive."

"Is banana cream pie dirty?"

"It sounds like a euphemism for something. Come on, that's some sexual imagery."

"It might have been too long since you've gotten laid. Are you planning to figure out what sex act banana cream pie could refer to and then ask me to do it?"

"I'm definitely planning to do the first part." The second's not unappealing either, but he knows better than to fuck his roommate, especially his roommate he has a crush on. That's a recipe for disaster.

"Me too," Clarke admits. "But if you need to get out of this at any time, tell me banana cream pie and I'll bail you out."

"And you'll be a pathetic asshole," says Murphy. Then he squeaks, so Bellamy assumes Clarke kicked him.

"She'd only agree to this if we gave you an out," says Miller.

"This is why she's my favorite."

"Uh huh."

She's also his favorite because she ignores Miller. "So, do you need to get out?" she asks.

If he was a little better at letting friends down and/or self-preservation, he'd just say the safe word, and he and Clarke would get out of the car and have the low-key evening he'd been planning. That would definitely be the right choice. But they went to so much trouble, and he's kind of curious, and he's going to get to hang out with Clarke either way, so--

"I need another shot," he says, and everyone cheers.

Bellamy's alarm is set to go off every weekday at five-thirty, which is good because he wouldn't have remembered to set it and bad because his fucking phone is going off and he's definitely going to die. His mouth tastes like old leather, his whole body aches, and he thinks he banged his elbow on something, but he has no idea what or when or how.

"Happy birthday to me," he mutters, and staggers into the shower.

He stays in there for longer than usual, letting the hot water ease the various aches and pains in his muscles, but despite that, when he gets out of the shower, he still sees that BIRTHDAY BOY is written on his forehead in bright red sharpie, apparently unaffected by the steady stream of water trying to wash it off.

The calculations happen as quickly as they can, given how slowly his brain is moving. He spent a long time in the shower, and he's been dragging his feet every step of the way on top of that, so he doesn't have a lot of time to spare. He could try to scrub the marker off and be late, or he could just let it slide. His first-period class is APUSH, and while they're obviously assholes, they're the kind of assholes who will have fun with the teacher coming in with something weird written on his forehead. And then he's got second period free and he can deal with the problem then. That should be enough time.

It's not the best solution. But it's the best one he's got.

He gets dressed, gets packed, and makes sure he's completely ready to go before he pushes Clarke's door open and shakes her awake.

"What?" she asks, muzzy.

She's good at falling back to sleep, so he doesn't feel that bad for saying, "Hey, quick question."

She sits up, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. "Yeah."

"Is there writing anywhere else on my body?"

It doesn't seem to be the question she was expecting. "What?"

"I've got this," he says, pointing to his forehead. "Anywhere else? I don't want to find out from a student."

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't." She finds her glasses on the bedside table and examines him, with a small frown. "I think you're good, as long as you keep wearing exactly that amount of clothing."

"Cool. Sorry I woke you up."

"I probably deserved it." She wets her lips. "That's it?"

"Yeah. Have a good day, get more sleep, I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

In Bellamy's experience, high-school kids think they're much slicker than they are. Which, to be fair, is true of a lot of people. But it's clear even to his alcohol-fogged brain that his APUSH class is laughing at him and they think he hasn't noticed, which is kind of pathetic. That is a level of failure to deceive that is truly epic.

"Okay," he says, once he's done with his lecture. No one has said a single word about the message on his forehead, and that is impressive. They're passing notes about it, but the class collectively understands that this is a rare and beautiful moment that must be protected at all costs. "Before we break into groups, any questions?"

Fox's hand shoots up, and he points at her. "How old are you, Mr. Blake?"

There's some giggling, and someone hisses, be cool in what they clearly think is a whisper. He can't tell who it is, though, so that's something.

"Uh, I just turned twenty-eight."

Apparently it wasn't the answer they were expecting; the news sets off another round of frantic whispering.

"I'm going to regret asking this, but did you guys think I was younger or older?"

"I thought you were, like, twenty-four, tops," says Sterling. "Maybe just out of college."

"Thanks, I think. Is any of this relevant to the exercise we're doing?"

"You asked," Sterling shoots back, which is true.

"I did, thanks for letting me know. Any relevant questions?"

"Did you do anything fun last night?" asks Jordan, and he makes a show of rolling his eyes. He's Monty's little brother, and Miller has a huge crush on Monty, so Jordan might actually have insider information on Bellamy's private life. It's something he tries not to think about.

"I don't know, did you? Get to work, Green."

The period ends with none of the students having told him about the writing on his forehead, which is the kind of thing that feels like it deserves a reward. He had expected someone to tell him, and the fact that no one did is genuinely impressive. They did a really good job.

Me: Do you think I can leave this message on my forehead until a student tells me it's there?

Clarke: I think you can do whatever you wantThat's your question?

Me: My first period class didn't say anything about itI want to see how long they can go

Clarke: They're going to counter-bet how long it'll be before you notice

Me: So everyone will have an exciting dayHow's your hangover?

Clarke: I don't get hangovers, I'm not an amateurDid you have fun?

Me: I think soMy memories are basically a fight scene filmed by Peter Jackson with a strobe light, so it's hard to be sure

Clarke: Ouch

Me: Did I ever use my safe word?

Clarke: NoIt seemed like you were having fun

Me: I'm pretty sure I wasThanks for helping to set it up

Clarke: [thumb's up emoji]

By fourth period, his day has completely turned around. His students have all entered into some kind of blood pact about not telling him that he has something written on his forehead, and three of his coworkers have come over to tell him privately, which means he can get them in on the whole thing. The students are convinced he just hasn't looked in the mirror since whenever the message was left, and there's some sort of pool to see who can find out who wrote it, which is doomed to failure. Unless someone confesses, the mystery of who wrote on his forehead will probably remain unsolved.

Still, it's nice to see the students banding together to keep a secret from him. Anything that gets the kids united is good in his book.

Madi Taylor from his sixth-period freshmen is the one who finally tells him, quiet and a little hesitant, after a homework question, when no one is around. She's clearly aware it's a betrayal, but she is one of his favorite students. He can't be mad she's on his side.

"You've got something on your forehead," is her way of putting it, which is pretty cute.

"Yeah, I know."

Her eyes widen. "Who told you?"

"Madi, how many mornings do you not look in the mirror before you go to school?"

"I heard you came right from the party."

"I don't know how anyone would know that, but I didn't." He smiles. "Don't tell them, I know you guys are having fun."

She looks dubious. "Aren't you going to get in trouble? Like, with the principal or something?"

"Not if everyone's cool."

Once she's gone, he texts Clarke someone finally cracked and then tries very hard to not think about when she'll respond, but that's an uphill battle. Because he always texts Clarke throughout the day, and she's been weird today. Off. Her replies feel terse, irritated and she could be distracted, but it feels like he fucked up something he doesn't even know about.

It's not even his fault, she was the one giving him endless shots. And she's the one who remembers what happened. He can't fix issues he doesn't know about.

Me: Did I do something to Clarke last night?

Miller: Dude, I'm not setting you up for this

Me: Setting me up for what?

Miller: Some shitty dad joke about how laid you got

He drops the phone and it clatters across the floor, startling his last-period class as they work on their quiz. It doesn't get close enough for anyone to pick it up, but Ethan does ask, "Did you finally see your reflection?"

"Eyes on your papers, it's just a phone," he says, grabbing it. "Two more minutes."

Me: Your shots got me blackout drunk and Clarke is mad at meTalk

Miller doesn't respond before the quiz ends, so Bellamy has to actually be a teacher instead of checking his phone, which is a fucking nightmare. Teaching is his passion, but finding out what happened last night and if he ruined his entire life hitting on Clarke or something would be nice too. That's the kind of data it's important to have.

"And yes, I have known about the writing on my face for the whole day," he tells them, wrapping up his lecture a minute before the bell. "But I'm proud of you guys for not telling me and assuming I don't know what mirrors are. Read the next chapter for tomorrow and be ready to talk about what you want to do for your projects."

He makes himself wait until all the kids are gone before he finally checks his phone, makes himself go to the top of the texts before he starts reading.

Miller: ShitUmOkI wasn't paying a ton of attentionFlirting with Monty etcBut I know you and Clarke were joined at the hipWhich is pretty standardBut you were drunk and touchy-feelyAnd later on I saw you guys full-on making outAnd then you told me you were leaving with this huge shit eating grin on your faceI figured you guys had sloppy drunk sex and I'd never hear the end of it

Me: Fuck I hope we didn'tIf I had sex with Clarke and FORGOTFuckThanks

Miller: Just remember, it takes twoYou weren't the only one grinning and slobberingJust talk to her

Me: I'm tryingThanks for the update

Miller: Let me know how it goesThe G-rated version

It's hard for Bellamy to believe there's going to be any version aside from the G-rated one, but he honestly understand why Miller thinks it's a good sign. If he was Clarke and he'd spent last night making out with her, only for her to spend the whole day texting him about some stupid shit, he'd probably be pretty upset. And if he thought that making out was a mistake, he probably wouldn't be snippy about it. He'd be relieved that she didn't know it had happened.

Or maybe he wouldn't. Even if he made out with someone he hated, he'd probably be annoyed if they just forgot. No matter how he felt about the person, he'd like to be memorable.

But really, there's only one way to find out why she's mad at him; there was only ever one way. They're just going to have to talk.

Me: Do you need dinner?

Clarke: At the studioBut thanks

Clarke's studio is a few blocks from their apartment, so he stops by on his way home from work all the time. If she'd said that on an ordinary night, he would probably stop by, so he can do it tonight too. It's not weird. Or at least, it shouldn't be. Everything is covered with a thin film of weirdness right now, but he'll break through it. He has to.

He's still mildly hungover and doesn't feel like cooking anyway, so he picks up some Chinese on his way. He can hear Clarke's angry playlist blaring as soon as he gets off the elevator, which isn't the best sign, but it's not like waiting will make it better. Not with unspoken grudges festering between them.

Not with his lips tingling with the knowledge that he kissed her and no fucking idea what it felt like.

"Clarke!" he calls, rapping on the door. "Open up, you need to eat!"

The music cuts off and the door swings open. Clarke is paint-splattered and wild, and he wants to kiss her now, fucking wants to kiss her all the time. It's not new, but it does seem more urgent.

"Did we make out last night?" he blurts out, and Clarke slumps against the wall.

"You remembered?"

"No," he admits. "I asked Miller why you were pissed at me and he said the last time he saw us, we were making out."

She wets her lips, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't think you were that drunk. I didn't know you--I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have--"

It makes sense all at once, even if it kind of breaks his heart. She thinks she took advantage of him and she's annoyed with herself for doing it. It's perfectly, totally understandable.

"Clarke, you didn't do anything wrong."

Her eyes flash. "How do you know? You don't know what happened."

"Did we kiss?"

"Yeah."

"Did we do anything else? After we got home."

"No. Just at the party. But you were way too drunk to--"

"You were pretty drunk too." He swallows, steps closer. "What happened? Why did we?"

"Because I wanted to!" she snaps. "Because I've been wanting to kiss you since you moved in and I thought you wanted to too and I--"

Interrupting someone with a kiss is, in Bellamy's experience, easier said than done. It happens all the time in movies and books, but it's hard to coordinate in real life, not nearly as fluid or smooth as he wants it to be. It should be a cool moment, but it takes a second to slot into place, Clarke's jaw under his fingers, her lips under his mouth.

But then she whimpers, tugs him close, kisses back, and it is familiar. They've done this before. They're good at this.

"I can't believe I forgot about this," he says. "Jesus, I didn't think it was possible for me to be so drunk I'd lose this."

Her smile is sheepish. "I did give you a lot of shots."

"Probably not just you. I'm pretty sure I drank my weight in birthday shots." He swallows. "So, uh--are we good?"

"Are we going to do that again?"

"I'm in love with you," he says. "So--yeah. As much as possible."

She laughs, winds her arms around his neck and kisses him again. "Wash your forehead off," she says. "Then we're good."

He had actually completely forgotten about the writing on his forehead; he hadn't had time to wash it off, with everything else happening, but it also didn't seem very important. "Do you know who wrote it?"

"No. But that's why I kissed you."

"Seriously?"

"I was just looking for an excuse."

"I'm glad you got one. Maybe I should keep it."

She pushes him away gently, still smiling. "Nope. Get cleaned up and we can have dinner."

He grins back. "It's a date."

#smallvoids

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taexual · 6 years

Text

HOLIC - 6 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: minimal mentions of suggestive themes

words: 1.8k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

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As the doorbell rang for the second time – someone was evidently very eager to be let in – you proceeded to give in to the fright. You weren’t freaking out just because no one aside from Jaebum – who watched you with confused eyes – knew where you lived yet, but also because whoever was behind that door was bound to get the wrong idea after they saw you and Jaebum half-naked, both wearing towels.

Inhaling deeply, you headed for the door, glancing through the peephole.

“Who is it?” Jaebum whisper-yelled, approaching you from behind and squatting slightly as if someone could have seen him.

“I don’t know,” you said, squinting to make out the person behind the door. “Looks like a girl.”

“A girl?” Jaebum straightened and you turned around, slightly alarmed by the sudden panic in his voice. “What does she look like?”

“I have no idea,” you turned back around to check the person out again. They pressed the doorbell again and you flinched. “Jesus, can she wait for just one minute? I can’t see anything properly.”

Jaebum looked pale. Not just his face, but his whole body seemed to lose color and you were very confused as you watched him take a long, deep breath and then walk past you towards the door.

“Go,” he told you. “Stay in your room, okay? I’ll take care of this.”

You frowned, unsure what was there to take care of, but you complied nevertheless, hoping to avoid any uncomfortable explaining because of both of your lack of proper clothing if Jaebum actually knew the girl behind the door. And he sure looked like he did, judging from how terrified he became just at the thought of opening the door to her.

Trying to tame your curiosity – you couldn’t remember him mention any sort of problematic partners that he could have been avoiding, – you entered your room, closing the door and immediately leaning against it, because the taming didn’t really work. You wanted to know who the girl was and what was her relationship with your roommate.

You couldn’t help but eavesdrop just a little bit.

You heard Jaebum open the door and then silence followed. You suddenly found a reason that justified listening to them: if they got into a fight, you’d have to go out there and separate them before they started to throw pieces of furniture; not that you had many of those yet.

“Uh, can I help you?” Jaebum asked.

The surprise in his voice suggested that he didn’t actually know the girl behind the door, after all.

“No, um, I’m just—” you heard the girl start to speak. She didn’t just sound slightly awkward, she also seemed to be just as shocked. You didn’t blame her, Jaebum had opened the door to her in only a towel. That had to be a sight to behold. “I’m Lily. I live on this floor and I just saw you move in, so I thought I’d stop by and bring this.”

She must have been the girl you’ve caught staring at you a few nights ago, when you and Jaebum had ordered the furniture to be delivered. She did seem to be really curious about you two, but as you listened to her sweet voice through the door, you figured it wasn’t really you she was interested in.

“Cupcakes,” Jaebum commented, probably in regards to the welcome gift Lily, the neighbor, had brought. “Well, thank you very much. That’s very kind of you. Would you like to—”

You pulled away from the door. Now that you’d learned he didn’t really know the girl, after all, you didn’t have any more reasons to listen to them and, truth be told, you weren’t all that curious to hear their conversation anymore, either. You were still, however, wondering why Jaebum looked like he’d seen a ghost when you mentioned a girl standing behind your door.

Knowing very well how ridiculous and – probably – far-fetched this thought was, you debated if, perhaps, Jaebum had a secret wife he’d married and was now running from by living in inconspicuous apartments. That’d have explained why he was so opposed to the thought of the two of you living together. Then again, you weren’t exactly excited about the prospect of that, either, so maybe Jaebum’s weird reaction and his general rude behavior towards you were unrelated to his past relationships. Besides, if he had a wife, would he have still slept with you a few nights ago?

Despite all of these doubts and explanations you came up with in your mind, you still wanted to find out who was it really that Jaebum had so dreaded to see.

As you locked your bedroom and headed to find an outfit in one of the boxes you still haven’t unpacked, you could still hear Jaebum and Lily talk inside of the apartment. He had invited her in and taken her to the kitchen – which was literally right outside of your bedroom – so you had no trouble hearing what they were talking about and, really, you’d have rather not.

“Have you lived here for a long time?” you heard Jaebum ask her.

“Not really, I actually moved in a few months ago myself,” Lily replied.

“Wow, really?” Jaebum asked in a very exaggerated voice. He was clearly trying to suck up to her and, based on the way you heard her giggle, it was working. “I should be bringing you a welcome gift as well then, shouldn’t I?”

You found yourself groaning. He was absolutely hitting on her.

“Oh, no, there’s no need,” Lily told him. “No one welcomed me to the building, though. I guess I just wanted to be one of the few pleasant neighbors on this floor.”

And she was encouraging him, too!

Grabbing your hairdryer from one of the boxes, you plugged it in. Not only did you need to dry your hair, but the loud whirring sound was also going to ensure you didn’t hear any of Jaebum’s flirting outside of your room. You didn’t really mind that he was hitting on your neighbor – at least, you thought you didn’t – but you still felt irritated. Maybe it was the frustration caused by the lack of hot water that escalated when paired up with the realization that if Jaebum ended up having a one-night-stand with an actually pleasant-seeming neighbor, you’d end up truly avoiding her for the rest of your life. And – aside from her weird staring when you first saw her – Lily really did seem nice.

Somehow, you hated admitting that, so, choosing to focus your mind on something else instead, you turned the hairdryer on to finally tune out every other sound in the apartment.

You heard the door of the apartment close about three seconds after you finished drying your hair and changed into actual clothes. This perfect timing allowed you to open the room just when Jaebum stopped outside of your door with a huge grin on his face.

“What?” you fired immediately, not too thrilled to see him look so happy after meeting your neighbor.

“I got her number,” Jaebum declared proudly, raising his phone for you to look.

“Congratulations,” you replied dryly, not even attempting to look for reasons why he felt the need to gloat about this. “Don’t you have to go to work?”

A little confused why you’d bring that up, Jaebum waved his hand, dismissing it.

“Work starts after lunch, there’s plenty of time to prepare for that,” he said. “I’ll be home late today, by the way. Got that date tonight.”

Suddenly, you didn’t like Lily particularly much anymore. You’d analyze why that was later. Right now you needed to go out and meet up with your friend May. Her offer to get drunk on Monday was starting to sound better with each passing second.

“Fantastic,” you said, your voice still lacking emotion. “Get the hot water fixed while I’m out.”

“Oh, but you said it yourself, I have to go to work,” Jaebum replied, opening the door of his room. “And then I have a date to prepare for.”

He got the weirdest grin on his face whenever he mentioned that date, almost as if he was only bringing it up to show off. Maybe not to you, specifically, but just in general.

You were suddenly reminded of his weird reaction about there being a girl behind the door. Maybe he was only excited about this whole ordeal because he hadn’t seen the person he was dreading to see when he opened the door.

“Why are you so happy about this?” you chose to ask him outright instead of just speculating. “It’s just a date. You can’t be that excited only because you’re probably getting laid.”

He laughed and then expertly avoided your question by replying, “probably is not a word in my vocabulary.”

“Right,” you groaned. “Whatever. I’m leaving. Fix the hot water before you go to work or else.”

“Oh, you like me too much to threaten me properly,” Jaebum teased and his smile frustrated you even more. “That’s cute.”

Not saying anything else – because now was the time to start throwing punches, instead of words, – you walked out of the apartment, looking around the hall to see if you’d run into Lily – you didn’t – and then locking the door before heading towards the staircase.

As you climbed down, after having finally escaped Jaebum, you had to admit to yourself that there was a small part of you that was jealous. You were just going out to hang out with your friend, maybe get some drinks, but Jaebum was going on a date.

Your mind had really created two different images for Jaebum; there was Def – the sweet, future roommate – and there was Jaebum – the rude current roommate who broke your bed and turned the hot water off just to spite you – and so, because of this, you weren’t jealous of Lily. You’d convinced yourself it’d be awful to endure a whole date with Jaebum, even though the rational part of your brain was able to tell that, actually, he wasn’t that bad. If anything, he was a great conversationalist who had a lot in common with you.

But you didn’t want to go on a date with him. No way. You were just jealous of the simple fact that he had someone to go on a date with – while you didn’t – and he wasn’t shy to gloat about it. That was all there was.

chapter directory

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disastrousbarnes · 5 years

Text

Stolen Dance (Beckett Cain P.O.V)

This is highkey a response to Stolen Dance written by my dear friend @lovingrxgers

Pairing: Beckett Cain (OC) x Jasmine Rogers (OC, Steve Rogers daughter)

Summary: Beckett left for college 2 years ago. Breaking thing of with his girlfriend Jazz. He thought he was over her, but now that he is reminded of her existence, he isn’t sure. Will he reach back out? Will she respond?

Authors Note: I just felt like responding with my gorgeous boi Beckett’s P.O.V FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED.

Word count: 1153

Chapter title: Sunday’s are for pancakes with the boys.

The moment I opened my eyes I closed them again. The light was too bright.

I waited 2 minutes and opened them again, slower this time. Someone had opened the curtains. What kind of absolute idiot opens the curtains after a night of drinking. Or maybe I just forgotten to close them? No, that can’t be it, I always close the curtains before I leave the house when I go drinking. So I can avoid waking up to the sun burning my eyes.

Suddenly I remembered what had happened last night. Tate and Alex were here! Without a second thought I launched out of the bed, instant regret hit me as my headache kicked in. Great, I am definitely hungover.

I shouldn’t act surprised, I always have a hangover.

It takes me another 20 minutes to finally get myself together enough to actually join my friends in the kitchen. Tate is sitting on the kitchen counter, Alex is standing in between his legs, both held a cup of tea in their hands.

“Hey guys,” I mumble, walking past them, to my trusty coffee machine. As my old roommate Ingmar used to say ‘No work before Coffee.” A statement I have been living by, ever since I started college.

Tate shifts slightly, so he can look at me. “Hey Beck, did the light wake you up? I told mister 5 A.M run not to open them, but you know Alex, he doesn’t listen.”

I can’t help but laugh, god I’ve missed those guys.

As is he was reading my mind Alex says “You know I have really missed you guys.”

Me and Tate hum in agreement. We’ve always been quick to agree with Alex, as he was usually right, but this wasn’t like that. We really did miss each other.

Alex moved to Amsterdam the second he got his diploma. This is actually the first time I have seen him since. We skyped and stuff, but it isn’t the same.

Luckily Tate has been able to snag a lot of modeling gigs in the area, so we have continued hanging out.

The rest of our group has kind of gone off and done their own thing. The app groups are nowhere near as busy as they used to be. We do still have a weekly skype call, but it isn’t the same. Which sucks, because those guys are family.

After my mandatory cup of coffee I grab all the ingredients I need to make pancakes, “I assume you guys haven’t had breakfast yet?”

Both shake their head. “I assumed the whole Beckett Cain makes me breakfast deal was still on.” Tate jokes, his head now hanging on Alex’s shoulder. “So Cain how has class been going?”

I shrug, “Fine, kind of regret not going the culinary road though.” Being a baker had been my dream since I was like 5 years old, yet when it came to making a choice I made the decision to study business. That way I could take over de supermarket from my dad when he wanted to retire or start something for myself. It would also offer more of a financial security, not that I really need that, but it’s a nice thought.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t do it. You got in and everything.” Alex says, putting his cup down on the table. “Plus no one makes cupcakes like you do. The ones at work are just plain gross compared to yours.”

I smile, pulling open the fridge and throwing a homemade cupcake to Alex. “These are from yesterday’s batch. My version of apple-pie cupcakes.” I say, opening up a new pack of flour. “I made a choice Alex, I am going to finish this. Plus if I do end up wanting to start a bakery or something I will also have a good idea of the business side of things. We all know I can bake, with or without a degree.”

Alex nods understandingly, stuffing his mouth with the cupcake, as if, if he doesn’t finish it fast enough it’ll be taken away from him. Which obviously, it won’t.

“Are they starving you at S.H.I.E.L.D?” Tate asks, a fake worried look on his face.

“No the food is just crappy.” Alex responds, already finished with eating. He then walks away from Tate and puts his cup in the dishwasher. “So except for you not being totally happy with you career choice, how has school been?”

I finish whipping the batter and turn on the fire. “It’s been great, lived on campus first year, but that honestly made me feel really claustrophobic.”

“I so understand that.” Tate says, “I stayed at a placein New York once and like the entire apartment was the size of my bedroom.”

Alex gave him a look that screamed ‘dude WTF’. “First of all Tate, that’s completely different. Also both of you grew up in huge houses, with all the space in the world. So of course living in something that much smaller, like a college dorm feels constricting. Especially if you’re sharing said dorm.”

Ugh Alex, always pretending to be wise or something.

“Plus it didn’t have a kitchen.” I add, a kitchen is a must-have for me. The kitchen is the heart of a house. “My roommate, Ingmar, was awesome though.”

“Was he hot?”

“Jesus Alex, that’s not the most important thing about a person.” Tate, perhaps the most self-absorbed person I know, said. “Was he hot, though?”

I chuckle, pulling out my phone, careful not to get batter all over it. “Judge for yourself.” I say, handing Alex my phone.

“What a cutie.” Alex squeals, scrolling trough Ingmar’s Instagram.

“Yeah, adorable.” Tate agrees.

After a big pancake breakfast, I decide to give the boys a campus tour, I only live a 5 minute walk away anyway.

We end up strolling around for about 30 minutes, realizing it way to cold to be out. Now we’re sitting in the coffee-/bookshop. Drinking some way to sweet, expensive coffee of some sorts. At least that’s what I am having, Tate is having tea and Alex is having a plain black coffee, because Alex is a weak, boring plain black coffee kind of gal.

“James and I broke up.” Alex suddenly announced, breaking the pleasant silence that had been roaming between us.

I look at Tate, who is apparently just as shocked by the news as I am.

“Why?” He asks.

Alex must’ve responded, but it’s as if nothing actually reaches my ears. Suddenly the only thing I can think of is her. Jazz Rogers.

I thought I got over her a long time ago. We broke up on good terms. I was okay. I was moving across the country, she was going into senior year. Staying together wouldn’t have been fair on either of us.

I wonder if she ever got into Julliard?

Face claim:

Beckett Cain (fc: Ryan Potter)

Alex Barnes (fc: Steven R Mcqueen, TVD s1-S6)

Tate Harrison (fc: Lucky Blue Smith)

#captain america #story #short story #oc story #original characters #original character writing #read #lucky blue smith #steven r mcqueen #ryan potter

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kirakiraninja666-blog · 6 years

Text

my sad, sad love life

Everything mentioned here is true and all names will be left out. In kindergarten, there was this girl that I fancied. She was very cute and kind to me. I recall that one day she read a book to my about blue whales, she spoke about her wanting to be a marine biologist when she was older. Later in the year, I brought cupcakes for my birthday. I sat in between her and another girl. This other girl was extremely happy that I brought cupcakes and kissed me on the cheek. The girl I liked was shocked that she did such a thing during class. We giggled and quickly forgot about it.

Fast forward to 3rd grade and shit got intense, like real intense, my nigga. I had gotten close to this one girl, we messaged each other a lot on the app called “Kik Messenger”. We pretty much had a relationship over text. We would say, “I love you” and, “I miss you” and shit like that to each other. I recall this one moment where she went to go to something and I was texting her friend and she said that “[we were] cute”. One day at recess, one of our friends got us together to talk about our feelings for each other. This shit was awkward as fuck, my nigga. Like I mentioned earlier, this was a text-relationship. We never spoke about our feelings to each other in person. It was pretty awkward and we never admitted our feelings to each other. I don’t remember how it ended but it ended somehow.

Now, onto 4th grade. I had gotten feelings for the girl I liked in kindergarten again. To be honest, I kinda liked her throughout most of elementary school but she was kind of an on and off crush. Anyways, we were on a Skype call on my birthday and she had a friend over. They had known about my feelings for her and they said shit like, “The ship sailed a long time ago” which made me fucking depressed. I cried that night, on my BIRTHDAY. I slept that night with my iPad next to me hoping to receive a Skype message that she had changed her mind or something. But, alas, it never happened. I slit my wrists, the pain helped me to stop thinking of her. I attempted to hang myself with toilet paper, hoping to leave this miserable world. Unfortunately, it failed. Oh well.

5th grade was pretty fucking cringy. There was this new girl at school. She was smart, funny, cute. We talked and we became close. We developed feelings for each other. I talked about this to my friend, the same one that made me and my “ex” confront each other at recess in 3rd grade. She told me to stop liking her, that she was “weird” or something like that. So basically what I did was I wrote an e-mail to her, with my friend’s help, ending our nonexistent relationship.

In 6th grade, there was cute Asian girl I met in math class. We talked a bit and I ended up liking her. Unfortunately, nothing happened because she had a boyfriend.

In 7th grade, I had gotten close to a girl, an Asian girl. She developed feelings for me and asked me out and I said, “LOL, no thanks b, we’re better off as friends. Try again next year OMEGALUL.” And that was that.

Later that year, around December, I had gotten feelings for another Asian girl. I liked her quite a bit and I told too many friends and she quickly found out that I liked her. She stopped talking to me completely and it was really awkward between us. Looking back at it, it’s pretty funny. I stopped liking her because I figured that there was no hope. I started to like someone else and the Asian found out and we started talking again.

Spring time of 8th grade, I was pretty good friends with this white girl. She also started to develop feelings for me and asked me out. I told her that I didn’t want to date anyone at the moment and would’ve preferred to wait until high school to start dating someone. She walked away very sad which made me feel bad but, ya know, it sucks to suck.

So probably around May of 8th grade I wanted to ask out this one girl to the 8th grade dance, known as “Formal”. We were quite close and talked a lot. She was pretty good looking and boy, oh boy, she’s thicc as fuck, my nigga. Anyways, she wasn’t really into me and this other kid asked her to the dance before me. I was devastated, I opened up to one of my close female friends. I told her that I was suicidal, that I had the urge to just swallow my phone and hope that it would suffocate me. She was there for me, she saved me, she was my hero. I quickly fell in love with her. I decided that I would ask her to the dance. I had two of my friends make a poster for me that I would use to ask her out. It was a huge success. People in the hall were cheering, they yelled, “OH YEAH!”, there were fireworks inside the school, shit was amazing. We hugged, walked outside together, and took a picture. We waited for her bus and she gave me a hug goodbye. I was practically smashing that girl. The next day I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. The following day, it was awkward as fuuuuuck. We worked together on this project for health and I’d talk to her, start a conversation, but they just wouldn’t last that long. She didn’t really want to to talk to me. Later that day after school was over, she broke up with me and told me that we’d be better off as friends. I was sad. I had gotten into my first REAL relationship, albeit probably lasted less than 24 hours. I had to get over her though, there wasn’t really any way that relationship was going to work. She probably ended it because she though I had moved on too quickly, that I didn’t really have feelings for her, or perhaps she just wasn’t really interested in me.

Although the summer started off a bit rough, it would later turn out to be pretty fucking amazing, kind of. Around the end of July (I’m thinking it might’ve been July 22nd or some date close to that), I boot up my computer to play with my friend that I played with pretty much the whole summer. We’d get on in the morning and play until nighttime. This day was different, for I had gotten on around noon. Not surprisingly, he was already playing. I saw that he was playing in a group and asked for an invite. He was playing with this GIRL, a fucking gamer-girl, can you believe it? Those girls are pretty fucking rare. Anyways, I joined their group and we had a blast together. The 3 of us became close, we were a group, the modern day Three Musketeers. One day, my friend left for a couple days, I believe he traveled somewhere. She was also gone. I thought, “Damn, so is this where it ends? Is this where she stops talking to us?” but then I thought “She probably just doesn’t want to talk to me by ourselves, she likes my friend more than me.” My friend returned on the weekend, I think, and that’s when she got back online. She said the reason she wasn’t on was because her parents didn’t like her playing on the weekdays and that she was at this camp (this is actually all true, she wasn’t lying). When school started, we still found the time to talk to each other. My friend and her would get into some really stupid fights, fights that were just a big fucking waste of time and shouldn’t of happened. But, it’s okay, for I had had benefited from them. You see, my friend was closer to her than I was with her. But thanks to these fights, this quickly changed. She would talk to me and vent about my friend. I would agree with her and say that my friend was in the wrong (which he actually was most of the time). We’d play together, just the two of us. We’d go invisible on Discord and on Overwatch. We became each other’s best friends. We all lived pretty far from each other, my friend lives in Vermont and she lives in New York City. We’d talk about meeting each other over the summer (which is the summer that is currently being written in, by the way). One day, her and her friend told me that I should go to their school. I thought it was a great idea and we discussed it. Looking back at it, I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, I actually thought that it would happen. Newsflash, my nigga, that shit ain’t ever going to happen. I thought about moving alone to NYC and going to their expensive ass school, $50k YEARLY TUITION for grade school. Hell no, that definitely wasn’t going to happen. My parents laughed and said no. I was actually kind of bummed, like I dead ass thought that it might’ve happened. Over time, we developed feelings for each other. Her friend asked me if I thought that she liked me and I told her no. She asked her and turns out that she did like me, I was insanely happy. Moving on, later that month she told me that there was a possibility of her coming to Maryland for winter break. I was fucking hyped but she told me not to get too excited because it all deepened on her aunt’s roommate leaving so they could have a place to sleep. Sometime in December she confirms that she’s going. A couple of days before she comes to Maryland, we were talking to each other. We played this game that we had made where if one of us were to curse then the other would ask them 3 questions. These questions were to be answered honestly. I asked her questions about who she liked. She had knew that I knew that she liked me. I wanted her to admit it to me. She also asked me questions about who I liked. I, of course, described her. Now, I believe that she suspected that I liked her but she didn’t want to believe it. Later, she tells me that she has to leave. I decide to confess my feelings for her. I tell her that the girl I like would be coming to Maryland the next week, that we were going to see each other. She freaked out and I started laughing. She hung up the call and I just sat there in my chair, very happy. She arrives at night on Christmas. She’s in Maryland for 3 days pretty much (the 26th, the 27th, and the 28th), we hung out together on all 3 days. The first day was pretty awkward, not gonna lie. It makes sense though because this was out first time meeting each other. We met up at the National Gallery of Art and spent the majority of the day there. We didn’t really talk much at first but we later got more comfortable with each other and talked. After spending a day at the N.G.A., we ate dinner at this Chinese restaurant. It was fun, she tried teaching me how to use chopsticks but I wasn’t able to use them. Second day, I went over to her aunt’s house. It was a bit awkward for the first like 10 minutes but then everything was fine. We went ice skating but, here’s the thing, I don’t know how to ice skate. Her sister and her would hold my hand to try and help me keep my balance. After that, we returned to her aunt’s house where we played poker. Neither of us knew how to play so we had to learn. We played in teams. It was me and her, her sister and her mom, and her aunt and her aunt’s boyfriend. We turned out to be a pretty good team, we won a couple of times. On the third day, we went to ICE! at National Harbor. After spending a couple hours there, I suggested that we go eat at Rio. We arrived at Rio and for some reason her mom and wanted to go to Barnes and Noble. She didn’t want to go so I suggested that her and I walk for a bit. She happily and agreed and that’s what we did. I saw this as my chance, my chance to ask her out. I waited a bit and then I did it. She stopped walking and looked at me and said, “Are you serious?” to which I replied “Yes” and she said yes as well. It was fantastic except for the fact that my girlfriend would have to leave in about an hour to return to New York. We talked a lot over the next couple months, became closer to each other. One day in February, I got extremely lucky. I heard her dad tell her that they would be going to California for spring break. I told her that I’d be visiting New York for spring break. She told her dad this and her stepmom suggested that I go with them to Cali. We couldn’t believe this and we thought that she was joking. Nope, it was not a joke. I asked my parents and they allowed me to go. I arrived at New York on the 24th of March and left a week earlier. The first two days we were in New York. It was fun, we spent time together. On Monday, we left early in the morning to go to Cali. Now, to be honest, I don’t remember everything as it exactly happened, I tried forgetting these memories because it was just too painful to look back at. But here are the highlights of that week:

>lots of cuddling

>we kissed

>we went to some pretty cool places

So after the trip, we talked a lot for a couple of days. She slowly started to talk to me less, she said that she was busy with school work. It got to the point where if I was lucky we’d talk on the weekend (lemme elaborate here real quick, if I recall correctly, she was never busy on those weekends, we’d talk if she wanted to talk, not if she was busy or not). One day I accidentally pissed her off and that’s when it pretty much ended. I asked her if we were still together and she told me to give her a week to think about it. I acted super desperately, like super desperately. I thought that my acts of desperation would help me but it did the opposite. Honestly, if I was in her position I would not have given myself a second chance. I was too flawed and I had to learn from my mistakes. Now though, almost 4 months later, I feel like I am worthy of another chance. I feel that it is my time to try once again. I have reflected on my previous self and I have improved. I. Am. Ready.

to be continued...

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moss-sprouted · 6 years

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i'm almost 20

2 fucking weeks exactly and i just have

nothing

oh great cupcakes for my birthday,yay

but i have to make them

which is what i've done every year but idk after a while its just

pointless

and we're not going to go anywhere or do anything,like my sisters birthday before she left was great! we saw a movie and went out to dinner and she even had a date with her! and her birthdays before that were great

at least theres some comfort in the fact that her last two birthdays have been one in a group home and another in fucking juvie

at least mine aren't that bad

but still like 16 was a pepperidge farm cake and nothing really else,18 was boring with a pizza i had to help make and a cake i also had to make and like it was fine but it was just regular,and 20 is going to suck

and 21 is probably going to suck even more not matter how much my cousin jokes about bringing me to "the quietest bar ever with virgin drinks" like not even anything fun,like i dont drink and i wont but we could actually do something and its not like that suggestion would even happen

it just fucking sucks like

my uncles all "well i feel bad that theres nothing we can do,what do you wanna do?" like??? i said i wanted to go down to bay for a few days,with my grandma and aunt but my cousin wont commit to watching the animals

and then my uncles again like "i feel bad,why do you just come down and stay with me for a day and i'll take you home" like?? i'm not close with him and he has grown ass roommates and i wouldnt feel comfortable and maybe not even safe considering his last roommate turned out to be a pedophile

and its not like i'd know anywhere to go and anything to do and again he and i arent close and we dont really talk at all so like i don't even think it would be fun

but it makes me sad cause like thats really my only option?? and its not fair at all like i even said going like to the forest parks would be fun but no one like cares or wants to do that

and i cant even go to the beach cause i have no one to take me and my family cant even go and it would probably be my uncle and like it would just be awkward

like i'm turning 20

i've been alive two fucking decades and no one cares

another fucking landmark birthday and it sucks

i'll never get these years back

and theres nothing i can do about it

and no one wants to make an effort

like what am i suppossed to do? its my birthday i'm suppossed to be celebrating and just

no one cares

no one has cared since i was just a cute baby

no ones made an effort anymore

even disneyland at 13 was ruined by my cousin

like my actual fucking birthday she stormed away because i got mad that her son kept stepping on my shoes and i told him twice to not and so she got mad and yelled and she went on a ride with just her and her kid and left us alone and like it was my fucking birthday and i was at disneyland and she ruined it,she ruined it the next day by forcing us to go on a ride we didnt care about while my grandma and her kid had fun without us

i'm going to be 20 and i have nothing to look forward to then some presents

i thought that when you're an adult everything finally starts to be more exciting and fun

maybe birthdays arent super crazy or amazing but mine never were anyway

you're suppossed to be doing things and living more

not alone like always in your room crying like always

just some added cake and presents to make it all better! /sarcasm

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flirting-with-psychology · 3 years

Text

Do you have a vlog? No

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? No, I don’t have that kind of personality

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? PM, and I remember my mom telling me we are not morning people. Still true

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? I don’t really have favorite channels

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? My paternal grandmother

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I had to watch an “artsy” one for my film class and it made me not want to have kids

Have you ever given birth? No

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? No, I was too young

Do you remember Y2K? I remember the new year celebration but I was too young to know about Y2K as an internet term

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? 5

What was your favorite childhood vacation? I can’t remember

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Sometimes. I think if I was the type of fun, outgoing guy who always has adventures with his friends, that would be best, but being an awkward girl is better than being an awkward guy

What’s your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? Only child

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? Maybe a little, I can be a little self-centered

Have you ever worn overalls? As a kid, and I didn’t like them much

If you’re a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I think 12 or 13

Do you get cramps? Yes, they suck ass

Is your mom mentally stable? Idk? She has her problems like anyone else

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No

Where do you want to go on vacation next? I don’t know yet. We were talking about going to Amsterdam at some point

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Ireland

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? Yeah

What’s your favorite type of crackers? Ritz

What’s your favorite spice? Garlic

Are you sensitive? Yes in some ways

Are you intuitive? Not sure

Are you spiritual? No

Do you wish your life were easier? Um yes

What color hair did your first crush have? Dark blond

What was the name of your first crush? Aidan

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? No

Do you remember your first email address? Yes, it was just my name

Did you name your lego characters? Probably in the context of each game but they didn’t have consistent names

What is/was your favorite class in high school? I liked my film class, and I thought chemistry was also fun

Is college an adventure? Yes but not as much as I was hoping for

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? No but I might look into it

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? N/A

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? Condoms

Who is your favorite cousin? Maybe Leah

Do you look your age? Probably?

What’s your favorite flavor of frosting? Whatever they put on cakes in grocery stores

Do you like toe socks? No

Muffins or cupcakes? Cupcakes

Have you ever had a bag stolen? No but I’ve had a wallet stolen

How old were you when you got your first phone? 13 I think

Are you ready for summer?!?! I am ready to jump ahead to whenever this pandemic is done

Is winter your favorite season? No, fall is How many people do you know who’ve said winter is their favorite season? Not many

Are you unique in any way? I’m sure I am

Do you have any hidden talents? Probably

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? No, unless they were just being cheesy

Who was your best friend in high school? Cristi and Kylie

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech

What song makes you cry? Soon You’ll Get Better and Epiphany by Taylor Swift

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, pretty much everyone who went to my school

How many teachers have you had crushes on? My 9th grade band teacher and my college film professor

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? Yes, they all had names and personalities too

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Yes

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 18

Do you like church? No

Do you have scars from self-harm? No

Do you have cellulite? Yeah I think so

How old were you when you started getting zits? it was never a big problem but probably high school

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? No

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? Taller

Would you ever consider adopting a child? Maybe, because I’m not sure I’ll be ready for kids yet before I get too old

Who was your first roommate? Griffin, we didn’t get along

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? Not to me really because I was a goody goody but my health teacher in high school was really mean to the “problem” kids and had no patience for them

Is your mom paranoid? Yeah

Do you trim your own hair? No

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? I think so

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? Pinocchio, Belle, Black Cat, Witch, Hermione, Ghoul Scout, Marty McFly, Leg Lamp, Thorin “Bro”kenshield, Julian Devorak, Magician, Pirate

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Whiskey and Sylvia were the two cats I had when I was little

Did you have your own room as a child? Yes

What color was your nursery? White

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think so

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? I think Roy? Or Ray? Idk something like that

Do you like your name? Not my birth name

What would you name your children? Eric or Shane for a boy, maybe Phoenix for a girl

Do you exercise regularly? No, I should

Do you have a healthy BMI? Not quite

What is your favorite season? Fall

Do you look like your mom? Yes

What is the origin of your last name? Jewish

What is the meaning of your first name? Star

What month were you born in? November

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? No, but my uncle and my cousin are both the day after me

Do you have a sweet tooth? Yessss

What photo editing software do you use? Photoshop or Apple Photos

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Macy’s, Kohl’s, thrift stores

#survey

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canaryatlaw · 7 years

Text

Ooohkay I'm sleepy now but today was pretty good, no real complaints. Alarm went off at 10:50 and it took me a solid minute to get up but I knew I was going to, it just took a minute to make it happen, lol. Got ready and hopped on the bus after enjoying a cupcake with my cocoa krispies for breakfast because I love sugar. Bus to the train, and while waiting for the bus I got around to making two of the phone calls I've been meaning to make for forever now, so I now have an annual check up with my gyno (ugh) on Wednesday and shortly after that I have a haircut. I also find a place that does x-rays and filled out their online survey. They called me earlier but I couldn't answer, but I'll give them a call back tomorrow and try to figure something out for my back. Arrived at the DV courthouse, hung out for a little bit then got a case. It was an interesting one, no kids in common so that like knocks out like half the questions on the petition, so that's good. It was weird though because they hadn't actually had any physical contact since he got out of prison in January, but he's just been harassing and threatening her like crazy, and doing shit like throwing bricks through her windows at 3 in the morning (on multiple occasions). And it was also a show of why I have even less confidence in the Chicago police because they showed up on the damn scene and were legit talking to the guy on the phone who claimed to be a block away and watching them, and the cops were just like "you need to leave her alone" and he legit said to the fucking police "fuck the police, suck my dick" and the cops were apparently just like "okay cool bye" and did nothing and I'm just like 😑😑😑😑 it was bad lol. Didn't take us too long to get to court. Right before we get in I of course say to turn your cell phones all the way off because judges hate when they go off, and I kid you not about 2 minutes after we get into the courtroom her boyfriend's phone goes off, but not even like a normal ringtone it was some super high pitched and noticeable noise and I was like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME because this literally the second week in a row this has happened, lol. There was a bit of a back up because apparently the judge had just like shut down the courtroom for an hour for some reason, so now there were a ton of cases and she was just speeding through them. Like, each hearing had to last 2 minutes max, when they're typically 5-10 minutes each. Most of them sounded reasonable and would've been granted, so I was okay with that really. She read the first paragraph of our affidavit onto the record about one of the brick incidents and him threatening to kill her and then immediately jumped into granted the order so I was like okay cool, then there was a small issue with the address being spelled wrong on the form and the judge was like giving her a little flack about it and I'm just sitting there turning like bright red because it was totally my fault haha but thankfully my client didn't throw me under the bus and she didn't care lol so that was good. While we were waiting for our paperwork though, she definitely granted a pretty questionable one, that I don't think any other judge I've seen would've granted- I won't get into details but the facts were very tenuous and the actual threat level appeared very low, but she just seemed to want to get or of there so she granted it....oh well. Did my paperwork and left the courthouse with my friend, at which point we grabbed some dinner at the corner bakery down the street from school and then headed to class. Class was fine, still pretty boring, though I at least tried to pay some more attention because I knew the final was coming and we'd need this info for it, so I did get some info down. After class I headed home, and my roommate was home watching Big Little Lies. Had a basic knowledge of the plot because it was discussed on one of my crime media podcasts and it seemed pretty interesting so far. There was a scene involving domestic violence which quickly turned into sex, and I wasn't terribly comfortable about how they portrayed it, because I don't think they made it appear as entirely non-consensual as it should've been in that situation, which makes me think to some extent they're fetishizing domestic violence which I have an issue with for obvious reasons. I'd need to see more of it to form a more complete opinion though, so we'll see. Work tomorrow with my supervisor out, which makes me feel like I'm gonna have nothing to do all week, lol, but worse things have happened. Okay, eyes want to be closed now so I'll do that. Goodnight dears. Hope you survived your Monday.

#daily journal #March 2017

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thcpcnguin-blog · 7 years

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TFLN Starters

{90 textsfromlastnight text starters}

[text]: i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex [text]: I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me. [text]: i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts. [text]: You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil [text]: learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels. [text]: alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now [text]: im getting a BJ in a closet and a penguin just handed me a bong [text]: Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off [text]: He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. [text]: oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life. [text]: For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there [text]: He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood [text]: Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. [text]: I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption [text]: He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat. [text]: I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming [text]: He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect. [text]: Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's [text]: As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, [text]: Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere [text]: long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch [text]: And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face [text]: MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. [text]: I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise. [text]: I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me [text]: they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste [text]: my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. [text]: Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes... [text]: You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick. [text]: also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns? [text]: "Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me. [text]: no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner [text]: It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman. [text]: Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar. [text]: i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. [text]: I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though. [text]: I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper. [text]: Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman [text]: I am an emotionally compromised bisexual. [text]: so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone. [text]: Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay. [text]: I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice [text]: It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at. [text]: I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce [text]: His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him. [text]: I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit [text]: Holy sore nipples Batman [text]: He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. [text]: after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls. [text]: hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned [text]: Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend [text]: Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring. [text]: If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse. [text]: I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot [text]: OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high. [text]: I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded. [text]: I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes [text]: I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick. [text]: Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp. [text]: I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top. [text]: party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record. [text]: i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections. [text]: CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us [text]: Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious [text]: you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you [text]: He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work [text]: you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable. [text]: for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates... [text]: I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive. [text]: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE [text]: 2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too. [text]: You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea... [text]: Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera [text]: Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real. [text]: Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. [text]: He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you' [text]: Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today [text]: Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd. [text]: People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas [text]: You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?" [text]: Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever [text]: I think we’re only still together so we can make each other miserable [text]: Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself. [text]: don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire. [text]: Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign [text]: That’s not a That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days. [text]: The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not. [text]: Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. [text]: He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. [text]: We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends

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girlwithsword · 7 years

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so i haven’t journaled in 2 weeks because i am a #mess and a lot of stuff has happened so i think broad summaries are more in order

basic themes: the summer, school, the next week, the house, ken, friends, family, my health

the summer: we had the group sicha for mosh madatz applicants and i had my interview with ari for the gilboa position, galil applications just came out

i don’t think i’m going to get mosh or gilboa - not ‘cause i’m not qualified, i am, but there just seems to be a lot of people more suited for that tafkid at those machanot than myself

galil is still open and idk as much what the landscape is like so it’s still a possibility, but idk what i’m going to to if i don’t get madatz madricha. i have been actively trying to separate what i want from the summer from the tafkid and i can’t do it.

Hannah and Sarah have made a proposal for a kvutzah messima based on leading nachshonimot and I’m down with that, but Hannah think that i could just go to Galil and be with their bogrimot and do that and maybe i could but a) that still wouldn;t give me the tzevet experience i’m looking for b) i wouldnt have the time or freedom to build a tochnit and c) i do NOT want to be the person coming in to the summer, especially as an outsider, demanding to be with certain kids! That person sucks!

I’ve talked to Hannah and to Bekah about it and im trying to talk to the mads but if i don’t get madatz madricha it’s really hard to justify going to a new machaneh to be on tzevet ragil to myself and my mother, not when there is SO MUCH theatre over the summer

anyway we just had a kvutzah call about it - Hannah, Jess and Toviah are applying for MBI! Sara and Ari are thinking about gesher! but sara still only wants to come for one session? arron fine is applying for madatz at miriam and maybe gilboa but idk?

i do have an idea, that maybe if i don’t get madatz, i stay in the city, work in theatre over the summer and spend my free time facilitating the kvutzah. like everyone gets so busy and hyper focused over kayitz and i could be an eye in the sky, keeping everyone updated, helping people with resource gathering and editing peulot - i could still be involved while not missing a summer of opportunities

school: so things are a lot more overwhelming than i want them to be

‘cause i had a bad week at the end of january i feel behind and i still haven;t totally caught up and it’s coming to mid-semester and that’s gonna catch up with me

monologue study is a lot more work than i expected - just doing all the xfript work is taking much longer than i planned for - i /just/ finished making the Lists yesterday and I’ve been working on that for WEEKS. Luckily, we don’t actually have class this week so all that stuff is due after the break - unluckily, i can’t really do work over the break and that shit needs to get done - more on that later

however, my actual piece is looking really good and some of the warm ups and breathing exercises have helped so much! two classes ago we did these breath exercises and then went around and each said a central line from our pieces and i have never been so in the moment and real and in my breath than right then and now i have had a taste and want that always

we’ll be starting shakespeare after the break and i want to try something new, I love my Beatrice, but there is something to be said for repertoire building. Rosanna suggested looking into Rosalind pieces from As You Like It and that’s promising. I might... try a Juliet? Like, idk if that’s worthwhile im just... not a Juiet, im never gonna be the ingenue, why try? but having something sweeter is definitely a goal, idk i looked at Rosalind pieces and i think there is something that catches my eye

scene study has a similar issue in that the written work is a lot more overwhelming and time consuming than i planned and that /is/ due next week so. however, rehearsals have been going AMAZING, we’re like 98% off book and have to focus on picking up the pace, sticking to tactics and not playing attitudes and getting the blocking a little more fine tuned.

we had dress rehearsals tuesday and it was a WRECK. /no one/ was off book, a couple scenes were just /stopped/ midway through and everyone was off. then we went up, the only group who didn;t even once call for a line and who was actually on top of our shit. i admit, it felt kinda good to be the best. though, the bar was kinda low.

I’m being mean, a lot of people had good moments and most of the scenes that derailed derailed ‘cause ONE particular person clearly didn;t have their shit together and it threw everyone off.

Brandon and i rehearsed today and got pacing a little more down and he’s gonna come over sunday and do a final rehearsal before tuesday’s presentation!!

my elective has been a lot less interesting than i was hoping for, the classes are kinda boring but at least it’s pretty easy. HOWEVER, we did a field trip to city hall yesterday and THAT was fascinating! we got to sit in on the city council sessions as they were deciding the budget and it was! so! cool! that’s the room where it fucking happens. and like, we should all be more on top of local politics ‘cause that’s where the day to day shit gets figured out. i did a whole snapchat rant about it it’s good

fevergraph isn’t technically school but it’s been going really well - i got to get some emotional stuff out through the journeys and i’ve gotten my heart rate up a few times, last class is next week and i think i’m gonna look into maybe some voice lessons for the next half of the semester?

anyway: sunday i need to get all my fucking scene work done, monday i should record all my notes for my TOR midterm ‘cause tuesday im running around a lot and i need to study for that. monologue stuff will have to wait - that’ll be wednesday/thursday, cause thursday afternoon... i’m getting on a plane to israel

so, that’s happening. i kinda was just.., thinking about it.. and then jazz said that if i went she would go with me.. and then my parents said they’d give me 300 for the trip as a bday present.. and then i booked tickets. we’re still figuring out exact details in terms of where we’re staying when but i’ve e-mailed mona and paul and talia and the mads about it and we’re figuring it out

so, yeah... that’s happening. we’re gonna chill and see people and go read on the beach and i’m going to where nothing but dressed the whole time and i’m so fucking excited.

in the meantime, this week i have to get all this fucking work done, my birthday is this weekend!! (there’s gonna be cupcakes and whiskey and an entire afternoon of theatre!!!!) and we need to shove in ten thousand roommate interviews in there sometime

‘cause YEAH, updates on Murnau House: we still haven;t found a new person for the Room That Cannot Be Filled which is Annoying and the previous occupant has not been as ontop of finding a replacement as he said he would so Sam is leading the search, bless her

aaaand our fridge broke last week, again, and we lost a BUNCH of food, but due to my skills of being a polite and efficient BITCH thanks to my mum, we got a new one pretty quickly and that’s going fine.

the ken: we had a tubshvat carnival two weeks ago, some bogrimot came and volunteered, it went fine, but i wasnt as invested as i should’ve been - however, i did see Iris there!! whcih was nice, she’s gonna be chinuch at shomiria this summer and she did the habo/hashi birthright! very cool

then, sem. so, we had a tzevet of 7 for 40 kids, two of whom lefton the saturday night. aaron and yehuda of all people were on mitbach and the post mbiers were a big help. the schedule pretty much went out the window becuase we didn’t even get in till after midnight in friday due to the storm.

i did however get an entire busload of kids off the bus, to a rest stop and back on to the bus in FIFTEEN MINUTES ‘cause i’m amazing, we went to camp and the kids had fun even tho it was very Emotional for me, and we re focused on The Krinkle Project for messima, and even tho we didn;t do the vaad stuff i hoped for, i think we can move forward if i get my shit together enough. we also did kvutzah peulot that, even if they didn’t go /so/ great, i think brought important ideas and next steps into a lot of the kids minds about how to be stronger as a kvtzot

there was gonna be a katkateam this weekend but ido and i are both on vaccations so that’s been cancelled. there;s a purim party on the 5th that might launch our participation in Krinkle if we get that together. Mifgash with Tavor in March, spring sem in May, maybe one final event for messima and then... we’re done. at least. I am. I’m done. And I should be expecting a cheque from Shaul any day now.

friends: sima is interning on a CTV show and getting updates on the PM’s schedule in her work e-mail, and graduating soon

julia is kind’ve her usual mess but also starting to turn a profit in selling her embroideries on etsy, but idk if she has like a plan of any kind? and that worries me to a degree

mikki’s cosplay stuff is BOOMING and she’s back with Lou but... she’s still being kinda self destructive and i’m worried about her??

josh just finished a show and i haven;t talked to him in a while....

anna grace and natty are putting on a show that natty wrote!

i don’t ... have that many friends??

family: same pretty much. Alex is migrating in a month, they’re moving a little closer to me than i like but what can you do.

Batsheva was here, we had one of our Talks, i need to find a more permanent therapist to go deeper with once school is done. i should probably join a group... but that im where im at for as young as i am considering everything... im honestly on a pretty good track

my health: so, i doubt anyone is reading at this point so... the weekend after my fatigue flare up at the start of the month i had a suicidal episode. and i’ve only told my therapist

it was my first one in about a year, my worst one in two and over the dumbest thing since highschool .... just being overwhelmed by school work

like, two mays ago i had a really bad one ‘cause i couldn’t get myself to finish my Buddies piece, a year ago i had a much smaller one ‘cause of a HUGE fight with my dad and this was just... being overwhelmed.

and that’s what;s frustrating!! i guess it was frustration at my body and i hadnt eaten that well and i was a day away fro my period and all that added up to curled into a ball trying desperately not to reach for a handful of my ciprilex and melatonin for most of that saturday??? which just like wtf

OTHER THAN THAT, my physical strength has actually been on an upswing since the start of the month and im feeling a lot more active. i have a cold this week but that’s just it being february and my immune system being shitty. thank god for cold 911

okay, it’s far too late. i gotta shower and sleep and this took about 10x longer than i planned for

it’s gonna be a hell of a week, and i have no idea when i can do this again, but wish me luck!

#my life today

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andthatswhatshewrote · 7 years

Text

A Brief Intermission

A brief intermission between two semesters. When I get to see a show, I always like to relive and talk about the best bits of the first half - what confused me, what made me laugh, what made me cry, what made me feel warm. So here goes the rambly mess that was my first semester at UNotts.

I can safely say that I have never cried more in the span of 5 hours than I did on the morning of the 21st. Me - who hates anything involving public and emotions - couldn’t stop balling her eyes out at the airport. I was shaking and whimpering various versions of “I don’t want to go” or “I’ve made a mistake”. I can usually get myself out of situations that make me feel like I’m falling apart but there was no way out of this one. Then I zigzagged back and forth for 15 minutes in the lead up to security, wracked anew with sobs every time I’d turn the queue corner and see my family. Pretty comical when I think back on it. Past security, I was actually totally fine. I dried up and bought two cupcakes and some cheesy garlic bread. Ready to do this.

I got to Nottingham the next day at some point, completely exhausted from the flight and bus ride over (on which I’d realized I hadn’t actually paid my accommodation and so had to panic call my parents using the disappearing Heathrow wifi as the bus was pulling away - that was fun). In the next five days I met all six of my roommates and their families. They were so incredibly nice and welcoming, offering me a place to stay over Christmas etc. Because of that, I didn’t actually feel homesick for a few months.

The girls I live with are a crazy mix. A gay, Newcastle lass furiously studying economics (although she’d prefer I say a furiously gay, Newcastle lass studying economics), an easy-going, guitar playing, partier from Belfast, a sarcastic and sassy neuroscientist from London, a sweet and unpredictable girl from a small town in rural England, the nicest and most chill girl I have met from Milan and a new mama-to-be like no other from Hucknall. They’ve taught me quite a few things. First, I do not give two shits who buys the toilet paper (heh). If it has to be me every time, so be it. We do not need to fight about it for days and go into a toilet paper stale mate. Second, people are not always laughing at your expense and if they are, they suck. Third, everyone is super different and has their own way of maintaining their living space and their friendships/relationships - it is not for you to judge. <– That was a hard one for some outspoken/messy people to learn. All in all, I really like my little flat family, as dysfunctional and crazy as they may be.

My actual family also came to visit at Christmas and we traveled to Italy a little. It was pretty weird seeing them after three months. Ian was just a big a pain as usual and Will and I got along just fine. Just like normal. It might sound bad but I didn’t miss them as much as I thought I would. I love my family to death but I also love living here and being my own person. Getting Chinese food with them on the last night, when Will outed me and the Australian and my dad panicked will always be one of the funniest nights of my life. Since then, there have been some cancer scares and successful hip surgeries, new girlfriends and increasingly high grades. Overall, they’re doing just dandy. I do miss my dogs a hell of a lot though.

I also joined the rambling society where I met five girls who I love to death. They were accepting and warm, funny and rude and each had their own amazing adventures to tell. Our little group just worked. They were also from parts of Europe where you just say what’s on your mind - you’re not rude, but you know what you want and aren’t afraid to express it. If they didn’t want mango in their spring roll, they would tell you instead of the very Canadian “oh sure, that’ll be fine” with an internal monologue of ‘who the fuck puts mango in a spring roll’ (actually pretty tasty in hindsight). It was just one of the things I loved about them. I’m bound to miss them more and more throughout the semester so I’ll probably write some appreciation post about each one of them at some point… sigh.

Speaking of the rambling society. OH MAN. That was fun. Such a great, nerdy group of people to scale mountains with. I accidentally sank down to my knees in mud on more than one occasion, slid down the side of a hill covered in snow too deep to walk in, got stuck hiking down one of the steepest cliff sides in the dark, did a night hike (ok but WHY, like yeah I did it, so cool but what is the point, you can’t see anything), met more sheep than I ever have in my life and also a very grumpy donkey.

OH dude. I totally forgot I went caving. Brief intermission in this intermission. Holy shit, there is nothing like that. I have never ever been so cold or mud covered in my life. The highlights I can remember are squeezing myself into a tiny hole, that was just about big enough to fit half of me and sliding down on my stomach, helped by copious amounts of mud, until I landed in some sand next to a cave diving start point. Totally awesome but terrifying. Then there were the ducks, when you had to go under water for a few seconds to surface into another pocket of air. Or the times when you just had to wedge yourself against a wall and slide down, very Emperor’s New Groove style. Kronk’s muscles would’ve been handy. I also met a good friend named Marion on the trip. I would unknowingly go on a few dates with her before realizing she was gay. We’re still friends and I’m going to meet her cat sometime this week!! Needless to say, I have some pretty great memories from it (too many to fit here and now) but I will not be doing that again.

Back to rambling. Our weekend away to the Lake District is in my top five moments so far at Notts. The hike, the people, just everything. The first day had been harder than we’d anticipated and so we ended late, got back to the hostel and just all cuddled up together on the couches before eating an awesome curry dinner surrounded by everyone, happy and tired and drunk. I also met a myriad of lovely guys on the trip, one of which I’d end up going on some of the best dates with. He’s an excellent cook and a crazy sweet guy. The crayons and the dinner will be hard for all future guys to top. Just, sadly, not quite right.

I did, however, meet another guy. He was very special. We’d see each other only a handful of times in the next two months but each of them would leave such a smile on my face that it didn’t matter. I’ve talked about him before, but he was smart (annoyingly so, I couldn’t get away with saying things like centrifical when I meant centripetal or centrifugal), liked doctor who (I mean do I even have to say more?), had a kind heart (too many examples to even include) and made me laugh at almost every moment, except maybe english stud muffins. He was confident and friendly, everyone from random Lancastrians to my jumpy security guards loved him. It should also be said that he was incredibly good looking: tall, blonde (ironically, I’ve always said I was never attracted to blonde guys... can’t say that anymore), beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, perfect for hugs and spoons... definitely looked good in son costume d’anniversaire. I loved his stories about his roommates and dancing with their siblings, of him and his brother embarrassing their younger sister and his rants about complaining Canadians and socially-inept Australian parrot people. There were times throughout our brief overlap where I thought I regretted meeting him, though. His heart was pretty recently bruised, more recently than I’d anticipated and every time he missed his ex after spending time with me, it really hurt. It kill(s)(ed) me constantly wondering if his obscure Tumblr likes and reposts were about her or me (millennials, I can’t stand em’). But, after it all, how could I really regret any of it? I loved coercing our way into getting Indian food too late at night, loved teaching him the ukulele, loved when he met my roommates, loved when he wrapped his arms around me waiting to cross the street, loved when he tried to embarrass me by being a Book of Mormon-loving-fool in public, loved getting Turkish food at 2 am in London, and loved waking up and reading while he slept on me. Actually. I do regret one thing. We should’ve rented those damn bikes.

We didn’t really get a real goodbye so that is kinda what I wanted to say in the train station. Thank you for it all, kiddo. Someone will be very lucky one day.

This semester has had the highest highs and lowest lows (lots of which I didn’t include here cause bad things aren’t fun to remember a lot of the time). It’s only been four months!! I have five more… I’m honestly a little scared of everything that will/could happen. All I know is that I will try to be more open-minded, less jealous, MANAGE MY DAMN TIME OH GAWD, play more guitar, dance more, read more and try and take it easy. It’s been really fucking fun.

I’ll probs edit this lots but here goes my ‘brief’ - did anyone think it would be - intermission.

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