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redwayfarers · 4 months

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just desserts

Fandom: Wayfarer Ship: Cassander Inteus/Melchior Larkspur/Kathan Sero Characters: Cassander Inteus, Kathan Sero, Melchior Larkspur Rating: Explicit (minors don't read) Words: 1771 Spoilers: None // modern au Huge thank you to @melusinedreams for borrowing her most feral babygirl Kathan to me <;3 read on ao3 divider by @saradika

He comes home earlier than usual. I didn’t hear him, with how loud the music plays in the kitchen; I have an article to write about this new up and coming band - given to me because I’m apparently good at my job and because, and I quote, “they talk about the gay love.” Fair enough, though I’m bisexual thank you very much, the gay stuff is still something I’m familiar with. Maybe she’d seen my podcast about it. Either way, their music’s good - largely pop, but that’s as neutral as having ears is - and it sounds far better than the noises of cooking right now.

Chopping veggies isn’t as appealing of a noise when I’m right in the head as it is when I’m not. Arguably, I’m never right in the head, but there’s degrees to this shit, okay? Sometimes making phone calls is scary. Sometimes the boss sends me home because I’m biting people like an overstretched chihuahua. Sometimes silence is an oppressive weight that feels more like chains than a weighted blanket. And other times, silence is simply annoying and I’m turning the music on and functioning like a normal fucking member of society.

With some extra meds, but hey. Who the fuck keeps count anyway?

So yeah, I don’t see him coming, haven’t even anticipated him coming this soon, so when I suddenly feel hands around my waist and lips on my cheek, I let out a startled yell and only to find he’d paused the music for a second and is laughing. The audacity.

“Hello, my little songbird,” Mel chirps, and I sigh.

“Hello, spymaster.” I chop the last of the tomatoes and put them in a bowl with the rest of the vegetables. “You’re.. Early? Did Kit kick you out for being too harsh on some line performance?”

Mel laughs and kisses me. He tastes like coffee and mint. “On the contrary! They performed superbly and I finished early.”

“You think it’ll be perfect by the premiere?”

“Unless someone fucks something up extremely badly, which I highly doubt, then yes.” He buries his head in my shoulder and breathes in. Granted, cooking is a good scent half the time, so he’s smelling some really tasty stuff, probably. “Your wryness is rubbing off on me.”

“You’re too old for that. Seen too much. I think I just make it juicier. More acerbic. I’m bittering this old lemon again.” I shake my head and laugh. “Or a blueberry? Are blueberries acerbic? Hold on, I have to google that now.” I look around to where my phone is, but end up hitting my cheekbone into his temple. He is a warm pressure against my back, and his hands are sliding up and down my sides. “I do think this particular blueberry has a case of… blue balls.” Pause. “Please don’t laugh at that. It’ll shame us both.”

Then, another voice rings from outside of the kitchen. Kathan sounds as fake about it as I do when I try to speak like my mother does. “Cassander, you are an embarrassment to this household. I would like to think I had thought you better than this.”

“Don’t worry, Kathan, he’s having a taste of those blueberries later,” Mel shouts back and I stare at the counter like it will save me from my partners ganging up on me like this. I open my mouth, consider saying whatever the fuck my brain cooks up at this point to save my scrawny ass, and throw all caution away like an ugly t-shirt.

“Kathan, if you have issues with my jokes, then you should take it up with the clown university where I got them from. Their worksheets. They’re in my room somewhere, right beneath my clown degree.”

Mel shakes with laughter. “You’re a delight, Cassander,” he says between laughs, and warmth spreads all over my chest. Some days I can hardly believe my luck that I met the two of them, and that we’d be here, living together, cracking silly jokes in what feels like domestic bliss. Not that I have anything to compare it to, but still. Then, Mel’s voice goes low, though still chipper. “Do you know how you’d be an even more of a delight?”

It makes me swallow. “Tasting the blueberry?”

“Hmm, not quite yet. I don’t think you’ve been a good enough boy for that, with all your offenses against language in the last 20 minutes.”

I fight the urge to squirm. “You’re really not holding back, huh,” I whisper and he kisses my cheek. His hand slides to my belly and promises to dip lower, but doesn’t. I look down to where his fingers are toying with my shirt. “So, however will I atone for my sins, Daddy?” I know, I know, I shouldn’t sound so derisive about it, but it comes out as a half-mocking. Oops.

“What are you making?” he asks firmly and his tone offers no room for ignoring. The doors slide open and Kathan stands there, arms crossed, watching with avid interest.

“Just some pasta with veggies,” I say, looking at the bowl. “Haven’t started the pasta yet.”

“Good. You won’t for a while.” For fuck’s sake, I’m such a goner now. “Cover the vegetables with something and come with me to the bedroom.”

“Aren’t you hungry after a long day of work?” I try, holding onto the counter. He doesn’t look tired. If anything, he looks about ready to do whatever the fuck he wants to do with me. Food’s the last thing on his mind right now.

“I can cook the pasta later, after we get that vibrating cock ring we’ve gotten recently,” he simply says.

“No. You’re fucking with me right now.” Last time we used that fucking thing, he made me cry from denial. Cry. Big, fat, ugly tears, no thought, only desperation and… blue balls kinda cry. I bury my face in my hands and laugh. I suppose I am into it, if the fact I’m half-hard from all of this already is any indication. And I suppose I should’ve stopped at some point, but hey. At least he’s so hot like this, all in charge and in control, king of the castle or whatever. All he needs is a crown. For the aesthetic of it all. I’m bending like a wet napkin already.

“Should’ve considered your words, baby,” Kathan says with intention. “No use crying over spilled milk!”

“I hate you so much, actually. I swear to anyone who’s listening, I’m moving that music degree up the wall.”

“You’re not helping your case whatsoever, sweetheart,” Melchior says, and moves a hand to stroke up my neck. “She’s not at fault here. If anything, you’re just adding more reasons for that cock ring.” He then looks me in the eye. His gaze is smoldering. “But you want it, do you not? You want it so desperately you are willing to act out to get it?”

Breaking eye contact is a struggle. The room falls down to us, to his hand on my skin, to the tips of our noses touching. He’s cutting off room to breathe, almost; but I don’t need air, not when he’s looking at me like that, not when that question hangs in the air. Kathan makes a noise in the background. The counter is my only refuge against the tension under my skin.

Melchior has a way of doing that when he wants to, in a way nobody else does. When he traps me, it feels like safety. With him, the gates of the cage are wide open, but I want to stay inside the bars. A lifetime ago, I would’ve run away from that. Now, I don’t really feel like I need to.

“Kiss me, please,” I say, unable to verbalize any of that. “Before the– the monster contraption, can you just kiss me? Please?”

“Of course,” he says softly. The kiss is deep, yet gentle; his touch is less constricting, and it feels like a warm cocoon despite the fact that he’s about to be very fucking mean to me. The combination makes my head spin, a cocktail of hormones, feelings and hardons, and I hold on tight as his tongue plays with mine and guides it to where he needs it to be. Melchior’s hand slides down to cup my cock - a small, casual squeeze that has me moaning into his mouth before it’s gone far too soon.

“You’re so responsive, darling,” he says and seals the words with a chaste kiss. “Too bad there won’t be any relief for you for this anytime soon.”

And thus the softness of his presence crashes down and I tilt my head back and groan. “Are you sure I can’t write ‘I’m a good boy’ or something 100 times instead?”

Melchior laughs. “I am.” He places a hand on my ass and squeezes. “Let’s go.”

“By the time I’m back from work, will his punishment be done?” Kathan asks, and she sounds far too happy about it. Suspiciously happy, even.

“And when do you come back from work?” Melchior asks Kathan, sounding entirely too considerate of the possible answer himself. Uh-oh.

“What time is it..” She reaches for the phone in her pocket. “In about 5 hours? I’m coming home earlier today.”

“What do you say, Cassander? Should Kathan see you orgasm when she comes back from work?” Melchior turns to me with the sharpest grin I’ve seen in months. His fangs are on display, murder weapons all four of them, and his hand squeezes my ass again.

“I say I hate you both with the passion of a thousand suns,” I bite out, without any real heat. Five hours seems like an awful lot of time, but there’s some.. Fucking excitement! Anticipation! For all the suffering he’s going to inflict on me for the next five hours! “But fine. Fine.” I try to sound as unaffected as I possibly can, but it’s a laughable and miserable attempt. “Will my punishment not affect access to veggie pasta?”

“I will make you the most delicious veggie pasta,” Melchior laughs. “Hand-feed you, should you care for that. I even bought ice cream for later. We will save some for Kathan, of course. It’s hard work she’s doing, after all. We might as well give her a show, hm?”

And since my mouth is actively conspiring against me, I reply, “Don’t forget the blueberries.”

Melchior laughs yet again, gorgeously messily, and guides me to the start of the five hours of personalized, sexy hell, as Kathan waves us goodbye and leaves for work, laughing still. Hurray.

Hu-fucking-ray.

#wayfarer #cassander inteus #cassander x melchior #inspo birb has come to town #my writing #i missed writing cass. and also it's baby first tumblr posted smut. i have one on ao3 but nobody read that #not sure how many people will end up reading it but here goes nothing

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teecupangel · 1 year

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If we're gonna keep putting Desmond in as The Isekai Protagonist then we should whole hog and add in the iconic System or Gamer System 'gift' so many other Isekai/Tensei Protags seem to get like it's the New Age Syphilis.

But with my own little twist I once proposed when I was more into KHR (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!) fandom though it never really caught on. Desmond's Gamer System functions like some other games instead of the usual adventure RPG. Maybe its one, maybe its some, maybe its all of them- either way, it's certainly not something like Pokemon or the Final Fantasy series.

Instead, it's like an idle game, a match 3, a rhythm game, or a merge game. Hell, the one time he got a bingo game; he won Mega Bingo, almost got brained by the giant chest full of gold and jewels, and then it never appeared before him again.

He did like the idle cat games though. (The cats were very cute. A bit hard to explain all the cats though.)

“New Age Syphilis” lollol. Yeah, let’s give Desmond the geek-syphilis. XD

Okay, okay, okay.

If we’re going for other genres, my first thought is the scourged of the land, the anti-christ of the modern gaming world:

Loot-boxes/Gacha-mechanics

And it’s the worst kind. The kind that does not give pity ‘roll’ or have the ‘if you roll 300 times, you can pick one of these choices because goddamn your rng sucks wtf???’.

And that’s not even the genre, no, no, no.

That’s the “REWARD”.

Even if Desmond clears something via idle game, match 3, etc, he still has to do a gacha roll to get his reward.

And, to make it more annoying for him, the world he is in right now, everything has different game mechanics and it’s a whiplash at times. Sometimes, it feels more like minigames which is fine. The idle cat game is really just Desmond relaxing for the day and playing with cats.

But then, there are instances where Desmond gets a headache because…

Car chase? Boom! Racing game controls and gameplay!

About to assassinate someone? QTEs! QTEs everywhere!

Desmond gets his own land? He suddenly has game notifications and tutorials for town-building mechanics.

There’s supposed to be some kind of monster infestations? Welp. Desmond, your town-building mechanics just got pushed for tower-defense mechanics. Oh, and the shit you can build? You guessed it! GACHA ROLLS!

Want to fuck with Desmond even more?

The tutorials are just pages and pages of what he can do like someone from Koei-Tecmo made the damn thing.

You know what would be funny?

If Desmond realizes that some of the rewards he gets from the gacha rolls are his ancestors, they’re the highest USSR/6Stars reward with a probability of 3%. Goodbye slacker life, it’s time for Desmond to grind for those Isu shards just to get some sweet, sweet rolls.

(Nobody tell him that there are also Holiday alts that have a possibility of 1%)

……………………

It would be funny (in the worst possible way) if Desmond gets a final notification just when he has a very cozy life in this world and it’s:

“Thank you for playing [REDACTED]. Due to lack of interest, [REDACTED] will be ending its live-services at exactly 180 days. All data will be deleted and there are no plans to create backups. Thank you for understanding.”

And now the final arc of Desmond’s story in this world begins:

Desmond needs to find a way to create a private server from inside the game. XD

#today we bully desmond (affectionately)#was this created because of my bad experience with gacha mechanics?#maaayybbeee #one year gacha sober baabbeeeehhh #seriously if a game has gacha mechanics #be wary #desmond is the ultimate isekai protagonist #but in a world with different game mechanics #and the dreaded gacha rolls #i read khr and my brain just reminded me #that future!hibari is soooo altaïr #and i cannot deny that at all #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #ask and answer

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blackhakumen · 8 months

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Mini Fanfic #1141: Jitters & Fright (Epithet Erased)

4:23 p.m. at Sweet Jazz's Halloween Store........

Slylvie: (Walking in the Store Alongside his Friends) So, how do you girls feel about your big play for tomorrow night?

Phoenicia: (Happily Clasps her Hands Together as Her Eyes Begins to Sparkle) Oh I'm absolutely excited!~ It's been one of my list of dreams to play a leading acting role~

Molly: (Smiles Sheepishly) I'm a bit on the nervous side personally. But I'm happy to be a part of something at least.

Trixie: Happy for ya too, Molls. (Crosses Their Arms While Pouting) Me, on the other hand, would rather do a mountain of homework than taking the main stage........

Sylvie: (Turns to Trixie) Getting nervous??

Trixie: Nah. I wouldn't say I'm completely nervous per say. Just don't want millions of eyes staring at me all night....

Phoenicia: But it's the audience's job is to watch the actors perform until the end of the runtime.

Trixie: (Rolls Their Eyes) Fully aware of how the audience function, Feenie. (Starts Shivering a Bit) Doesn't make me squeamish any less.....

?????: Oh no!~ Little Miss Roughhouse getting cold feet?~

The gang turns to see two of the Neo Trio's classmates, Stink & Stonk, standing in front of them, with mischievous, boyish grins on both of their faces.

Stonk: Cuz if so, we're more than gladly to take the role of Bubblegum Renegade off your hands now.

Stink: Yeah!- Wait. (Turns to Stonk) "We"?

Stonk: Yeah. You know, as in....You and I and-

Stink: I know what I mean, you dope!! We can't both be the Bubblegum Renegade!

Stonk: Right, right. (Grabs his Chin) So I'm guessing that'll make me Bubblegum Renegade then?

Stink: Um NO, dude! You're not gonna be Bubblegum Renegade! I am!

Stonk: (Glares at his Friend) And why not? My acting skills gotten a lot better, you know!?

Stink: So does mines. Only the difference here is that FAR more cooler than you in comparison.

Stonk: ('Scoffs') Yeah right! Name one cool thing you ever did.

Stink: I....uh.....uhhh.....I-I come up with the raddest pranks imaginable!

Stonk: We BOTH come up with the rad prank ideas, genius! In fact, I seemed to remember doing most of the heavy lifting and dirty work compared to you.

Stink: ('Scoffs') Oh please! I equally did just as much work as you did if not wayyy more!

Stonk: Nuh-uh!

Stink: Yeah-huh!

Stonk: Nuh-uh!

Stink: Yeah-huh!

The boys continue to argue with one another as the others reluctantly watches.

Sylvie: .....Do I even wanna who those two are right now?

Molly: ('Sigh') That's just Stink and Stonk.

Trixie: (Already Has an Annoyed Look on Their Face) The two biggest lame brains in our class with their stupid pranks they're trying to pull.

Phoenicia: And dance choreography are a sight to behold.

Molly: Feenie, I don't think Dabbing's that good of a dance move to be frank with you.

Sylvie: I don't even think it should consider a dance move at all considering how basic the concept of it is.

Trixie: (Starts Groaning at What is in Front of Them Right Now) Speaking of which....

Trixie points to Stink amd Stonk repeatly dabbing at one another.

Molly: (Raises an Eyebrow in Confusion) Are they.... seriously having a dab off right now?

Trixie: (Facepalms Themselves into Oblivion) And here I thought they could never get anymore dumber......(Turns to Sylvie While Pointing Their Hands Out at the Dabbing Simpletons) You see what we have to deal with everyday, Sylvie!?

Sylvie: Somehow, I can weirdly re-

'BOOHAAAAA'

Sylvie: LATEHETE!!! (Gets Startled and Screamed in Horror as He Makes Himself Fall Backwards on the Floor)

Molly: Sylvie! (Quickly Rushes Over to Sylvie Side Along with the Rest of the Trio)

Jock: (Revealing Himself From the Monster Like Mask He Was Wearing With a Smirk on his Face) Oops! Didn't quite see you there Sylvesta-NERD! (Let's Out a Loud, Boastful Laugh as his Fellow Jockmates Joins amd Gives Him Multiple Hi-Fives)

Sylvie: (Growls in Annoyance as He Rubs his Head and Angrily Shakes his Fist at a Pact of Jocks in Front of Him) Don't you people have anywhere else to be right now!!!?

Jock: ('Scoffs') Of course we have somewhere to be, Einstein. We just wanna make sure if you got yourself a good scared.

Sylvie: Gee, thanks, Randall. I hate it!

Randell: Yeah, we don't care. Blame your psychologicist job for making you look more dorky than you already are.

Sylvie: At least I'm doing something more productive in my life than wasting my time messing with my neighbor all day!!

Randell: So you're a big shot now, big whoop! You're still a four-eyed nerdatron at the end of the day and still an easy target to boot. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a football game to win. (Finally Takes his Leave)

Other Jocks: (Starts Following Their Leader While Taunting Sylvie in the Process) Later, nerd!/Enjoy the floor nap!/ Don't let the door scare ya on the way out, Sylvesta-LOSER!!

Phoenicia: (Growls as She Angrily Picks up a Bag of Marshmallow From the Counter) His name is Dr. Sylvester Ashling, you UNCULTURED SWAN!!! (Throws the Bag at the Jocks as Hard as She Could......Which Didn't Go as Far as She Hoped Unfortunately)

Molly: (Helps Sylvie Back Up on his Feet) You okay, Sylvie?

Sylvie: ('Sigh') Besides my pride and patience, I'll be fine for now. (Turns to Phoenicia With a Small Smile on his Face) I appericate you trying to get those jerks back for me, Feenie, even if you REALLY didn't have to-ACK! (Gets Pulled into Tight, Loving Hug by Phoenicia Herself)

Phoenicia: There's no need to thank me at all, dear!~ I'd do anything for those I love and cherish, you included!~

Sylvie: (Winces a Bit) I see. Glad to be part of the equation....

Trixie: Say the word, Sylvie. (Starts Pounding Their Fist onto the Palm of Their Hands) And we'll get 'em back when they least expected!

?????: Least expected, huh?~

The gang turns to see Stink & Stonk staring at them with their signature mischievous grins.

Molly: Oh. You guys are finished with your dabbing contest already?

Stink: Yep! Came down with a draw for now!

Stonk: It was epic.

Trixie: (Rolls Their Eyes) Suuuure it was.....

Stink/Stonk: (Glares at Trixie) IT WAS SO!- (Clears Their Throats Before Calming Themselves Down)

Stink: Anywho, after we concluded our epic dabbing challenge, we couldn't help but overheard your little bully dilemma you got there, four eyes.

Sylvie: It's Sylvie. ('Sighs Heavily') But yeah.....You don't know the half of it......

Stonk: Which is why we want in on your vengeance journey.

Trixie: Wait. You....actually want to help us out on this?

Stonk: Heck yeah! We don't just do pranks for funs, we also do them to get back at those who bully and/or prank us first.

Stink: Buuuuuuuuut before we start helping you guys out, we're gonna want something back in return~

Sylvie: (Sighs Once More as Takes his Wallet Out of his Pants Pocket) Alright. How much do you want? I need to save rest of the money pay my rent this month, so I implore you not to ask for too-

Stonk: (Starts Pushing his Hands Back and Forth in the Air) Woah woah woah there, pal. We don't want any of your money!

Stink: We want something more valuable than that.

Sylvie: (Raises an Eyebrow) Which is.......

Stonk: (Uses his Thumb to Rub Up and Down on the Knuckles) Oh it's nothing too grand~

Stink: We just want to have ourselves play the role of the......

Stink/Stonk: Bubblegum Renegade-

Neo Trio: No!

Trixie: It's never going to happen!

Molly: Each of our roles have already been finalized days. Let it go already!

Stink: (Crosses his Arm While Pouting) Alright, alright, fine! We're gonna!

Stonk: (Shrugs at Stink) Can't say we tried, man.

Stink: ('Sighs in Defeat') Yeah.....Okay. How about uhh....uhhh.....(Points at Sylvie) You buy us bugs of candy!

Stonk: Ten bags tops!

Sylvie: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) Ten!? Why not just one?

Stink: I dunno. It's the only offer we could think of right now.

Stonk: Either way, we're not gonna reach an negotiation empty handed.

Sylvie: How about I buy you two chocolate bars instead?

Stink: (Snaps his Finger ar Sylvie) Buy us each large size and you got yourself a deal!

Stonk: (Pulls his Hand Out) And we shake on it too!

Sylvie: (About to Shake Stonk's Hand) Fine by- ('Buzz') ME! (Felt Suddenly Shock on the Palm of his Hand Before Quickly Backing it Away)

Stonk: (Let's Out an Awkward Chuckle) Sorry. Forget I have a buzzer attached to my hand. (Pulls Out Another Hand) Here you go. Buzzer free this time.

Sylvie let's out a groan before reluctantly shaking Stonk's other hand, reach the agreement completely.

@aprilbrowines

@epitheterasedunofficial

#epithet erased #trixie roughouse #molly blyndeff #phoenica fleecity #sylvie ashling #stink & stonk #bubblegum renegade #sort of.....#humor #pure friendship #halloween month #also sort of #dabbing showdown #edited

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lily-janus · 10 months

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The Hardest Thing

hey guys! I finally did my first Big Bang yayyy! For now I'll post the first chapter and hopefully post the rest soon after! Ty so much for @bonker-bananas for the amazing art she made for this fic! @tss-storytime

summary link (check it out for all the content and trigger warnings for the entire fic)

Word count: 4,359

Chapter 1 - Don't Worry, Virgil!

It was a day like any other. Nothing special or note-worthy about it. The weather was a bit cloudy but there was no storm, no thunder, just a light breeze and some clouds that dimmed the light of the sun slightly.

Virgil was walking on his usual route to school, the familiar sights doing nothing to ease his nerves.

He didn't know why he felt so anxious, his eyes kept darting around as if expecting some creature to jump from the bushes or… something. And no matter how much breathing exercises he did, his breath kept hitching and there wasn't enough air in his lungs-

"Virgil?"

He suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder and jumps a few good feet in the air before he realizes it was only Janus.

Wait… Janus? When did he…

Virgil blinked, looking around, he spotted Janus' house a few feet behind them… he didn't even notice he walked past it, never mind that Janus joined him in their usual meeting spot in front of it…

Janus puts his arms up in surrender. "Sorry, you just seem a bit jumpy today." Janus says gently, Virgil's shoulder slumping after his initial panic.

He grabs his left arm with his right, nails digging into the sleeves of his hoodie trying again to do his breathing exercises. "Yeah… sorry, just one of these days…" he mumbles. "I got this vague feeling that something bad is coming…" he trailed off, it sounds so stupid when he says it out loud…

Janus raised a skeptic eyebrow at that and Virgil wanted to kick himself for saying anything. It's obviously just his stupid anxiety acting up for no reason, he should know better than to listen to it.

But still…

"I know it sounds stupid but-"

"Oh heavens no! I think you're right! Look, behind you!" Janus points behind Virgil.

Virgil rolled his eyes. Of course Janus would mock him for it, what else did he expect? He should have kept his mouth shut…

"Very funny Janus-" but he's tackled to the floor before he can finish his sentence.

His entire body immediately tenses up even more than before and he feels his lungs being crushed by the weight above him as he struggles to breathe, clawing and writhing on the floor in a desperate attempt to get away, to run from the unknown threat, to-

"Sneak attack!" Remus shrieks in delight.

He slamps in relief and exhaustion when he realizes it's just Remus and his annoying sneak tackles… really, how many times did he need to explain to him that these are not fun for someone with a high functioning anxiety like him?

Virgil groans, struggling to breathe under his weight. "Remus… we talked about this…" he chokes out.

Remus giggles, crushing Virgil even more as he uses him as leverage to get back on his feet, offering his hand to him once he's up.

Virgil glares at him before ignoring his hand and standing up on his own. "You gotta stop doing this, man, I'm jumpy enough as it is." He folds his arms over his chest, hugging himself tightly. That attack did not help his nerves, if anything it made them tense up more.

"Sorry, V, couldn't help it." Remus grinned apologetically at their anxious friend. "Why are you jumpy anyway? Nothing special is happening, just a boring school day." Remus shrugs.

Virgil rolls his eyes at the question. He stopped counting the amount of times he tried to explain to his friends how his anxiety works, they just never seem to listen. The fact that there's nothing happening nor anything to be worried about doesn't mean he won't worry.

It just means his brain will come up with things that might happen and make him worry about those, which is honestly worse than having one, clear and specific thing to worry about.

"He says he feels like something's about to happen" Janus snickers.

Virgil flushes, he again regrets voicing his imaginary concerns to Janus. "Hey! I was right a few times before!" He protests, tacking his hands into his hoodie pocket. His anxiety isn't always wrong…

"You were also wrong a lot of the times" Janus points out, because of course he did. "Just breathe, Virgil, you're safe, we're all safe, ok?" Janus says soothingly.

For now…

Virgil thinks then sighs. "I know but-"

"Great! Boring talk over! Now let's get to the good stuff." Remus rubs his hands together in anticipation.

Well… those words coming from Remus' mouth never led to anything good, maybe his anxiety was right today…

"Ah, surely nothing bad will follow this statement." Janus smirks, gesturing for Remus to continue.

"Today's a very special day!" Remus starts excitedly.

Virgil frowns as the three of them started walking again towards school. What's special about today? Was he missing something or is Remus just making stuff up for fun? Wouldn't be the first time..

"Tuesday?" Janus raises an amused eyebrow.

Remus pouts. "No silly! It's my birthday!" He says, complete with jazz hands.

Virgil frowns. "Isn't that in two weeks?" He asked as he looked at the date in his phone to confirm his question. It wasn't any of them's birthdays, what is Remus talking about?

Remus shrugs. "Potato tomato, it's the same thing!"

"It's really not…" Virgil tried to say but was interrupted by Remus' annoyed groan.

"Ugh you two are so boring! Let's just skip school and have a fun time together! You know, to celebrate." Remus looks at his friends hopefully.

Virgol huffed, he's not boring, he's cautious. There's a difference, why would they risk getting in trouble for nothing?

"Celebrate what? It's not your birthday yet darling." Janus pointed out.

Remus shrugs again. "It's someone's for sure! So let's celebrate them!"

Remus is being weirdly insistent about this…

Janus chuckles. "That's not how this works."

Remus pouted. "What are you, birthday police? C'mon, let's get out of this stupid place and have some fun!"

Janus was still chuckling, shaking his head. "Sure why not, not like any of my parents will notice anyway… or care, I'm in."

Not surprising, Janus' parents were usually either too busy arguing or trying to best the other in everything than to actually pay attention to their son and his behavior. Suffice to say, holidays were a nightmare. And Virgil should know, since Janus made him accompany him for some for moral support, he couldn't blame the guy for needing it.

Remus whooped in triumph and they started walking in the other direction.

Did they even think about waiting for his response? Or did they just assume he'll follow them like a puppy?

Virgil froze in place. "W-wait, skip school? My parents will kill me!"

Unlike Janus' parents, Virgil's parents micromanaged every tiny detail in Virgil's life. They weren't too strict like Remus', but they knew everything about everything concerning him and his actions at any moment… or at least tried to.

Janus and Remus helped him get away with some things in the past, but it wasn't an easy task. The fact that he's diagnosed with an anxiety disorder makes them even more protective of him than any other protective parent he's seen.

Don't get him wrong, Virgil loves his parents to bits… he just wished they'd give him some room to breathe every once in a while…

Janus rolled his eyes, going back a few steps to look Virgil in the eyes. "No one's going to know, ok? We'll fake sick letters from our parents so the teachers won't tell them, it'll be fine, don't you trust me?"

Of course he does… that's not the point he's trying to make. They didn't think this plan through enough… his parents will surely find out…

Virgil hesitated. "Of course I do, I just… I'm worried-"

"You alway are, Scare Bear! Now let's go! School's for losers!" Remus shouted in delight as he ran forward.

Janus sighed. "And now we have to follow to make sure he's not breaking anything… or anyone." He snickers to himself before running after Remus.

Both of them leaving Virgil no choice but to follow.

Virgil looks back in the direction of the school for a few seconds, before shaking his head and following them. Not like he can face school alone anyway.

"What are we doing at a grocery store again?" Janus asked, faking a yawn to show how bored he was. "I thought this day would turn out to be exciting."

Virgil was standing awkwardly next to them, trying his best to look like he's supposed to be here and not like a guilty student who's skipping school. He wasn't sure he's doing a very good job…

There were a few grown ups browsing the shelves, some of them eying the three of them suspiciously… though it might just be in Virgil's head.

"It will! I just need to find… ah ha! Gotcha!" Remus snatched something off one of the shelves and showed it to his friends.

Janus smirked at the sight but Virgil shook his head violently.

"Graffiti? Seriously? Remus, we could get in serious trouble for this, let's just go to the arcade or something." Virgil insisted, looking around fearfully.

What is he thinking? Does he want to end up in prison?

"Ugh you are sooo boring! C'mon it'll be fun, don't be a buzz-kill! Here, I found a purple spray bottle for you!" Remus shook the bottle in front of Virgil's face.

"Yeah Virgil, come on, we won't get caught if we'll be cautious." Janus piped in, picking a yellow spray bottle from the shelf.

"You don't know that! What if someone sees us? What if a cop walks by? What if-" he, once again, tried to get some sense into his impulsive friend. But he was cut off… again. Why does he even bother?

"Virgil, my guy, relax, we're not planning a murder just some silly writing on walls! We can table murder for later." Remus slang his arm around the back of Virgil's neck, grinning wildly.

Relax? Relax?! How is he supposed to relax when his friends seem determined to break so many rules today? And drag him down with them?

You don't have to go with them, you can go back to school and make up an excuse for being late. They're the ones that want to do this, not you…

"No murder, Remus, ever." Janus sighed then turned to Virgil. "If you don't want to join us, you don't have to, but we want to have fun with you too, it's your choice."

Virgil scoffed, there was no choice, it's not like he can go home when he's supposed to be in school, and he can't show up this late to school either, and wondering the streets alone is out of the question.

"Whatever…" he mumbled, taking the purple spray bottle from Remus.

He sighed as he turned the spray bottle in his hands, why is it so hard for him to make himself be heard?

"That's the spirit! Let's go!"

"If we get caught I'm killing both of you and then myself." Virgil said as they paid for the spray bottles and walked out of the store.

"If you're trying to threaten me you're doing it wrong, that sounds like fun!" Remus laughed.

….

"Hey, you! Stop right there!"

Virgil froze, his hand still up in the air with the spray bottle, in the middle of spraying his drawing on the wall.

He knew it! He fucking knew it! This is it, they're all going to jail, their parents will bail them out but then ground them until they're 30! How did he let himself go with this stupid, pointless, risky plan?

He would have stayed there, frozen, if Remus hadn't grabbed him by the arm and pulled him effortlessly with them as they ran before the cop saw their faces.

They stopped after a few blocks to catch their breath and Virgil wasted no time punching Remus in the arm. "I fucking told you! Idiot, we could have been arrested."

"But we didn't."

"But we could have."

"But!" Janus jumped in. "We didn't, so let's stop this annoying arguing hm?"

Virgil sighed. "Can we just go to the Arcade now? You know, like every normal kid does when they skip school?"

Remus grinned. "You got it, V-man! But you bet I'm cheating to get all the tickets and buy the coolest prize!" He giggled.

Virgil shook his head. "It's like you want to get in trouble…" but he followed his two friends anyway.

Janus slowed to walk beside him while Remus walked at the front, smirking as he watched their wild friend.

"So, what do you think he's hiding?"

Virgil frowned. "What?"

Janus raised an eyebrow. "Oh please, don't tell me you didn't notice, he's been acting weird all day."

He hesitated. He did notice something was off about Remus' behavior today. He seemed way more insistent and careless than usual but… hiding something? Remus is always so blatantly honest, what would he feel the need to hide from them?

"It's Remus… he always acts weird." Virgil pointed out, refusing to admit Remus might be hiding secrets from them, making Janus roll his eyes.

"Different weird, trust me, there's something he's not telling us, something he tries to avoid thinking about. I bet his super strict parents punished him again or something. He always acts out in protest when they do that, what do you think?" Janus explained, seeming to enjoy speculating about their friend's personal life, which wasn't surprising.

He remembered one time, he was being more quiet than usual and Janus was utterly delighted when his endless probing finally broke Virgil and made him confess about his fight with his parents the other day.

Virgil shrugged. "How should I know?" He tried to end this conversation as quickly as possible, he didn't like talking about Remus behind his back… literally.

Janus shook his head. "It's not about knowing, the fun is in speculating, c'mon, just guess something." He urged him.

"Ah… I don't know, secret crush or something?" Virgil tried, hoping that's satisfy Janus.

Janus snickered at that. "Maybe, now that will be an interesting development."

"This is stupid, he's right here, why don't we just ask?" Virgil asked, slightly confused. Janus always does this, making things overly complicated instead of just being direct.

Janus looked at him like he just said the dumbest thing ever. "Where's the fun in that? Besides, he could have told us all day but didn't so obviously if we confront him about it he's just going to deflect and get defensive." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He's also insanely good at reading people and predicting their reactions, it's honestly scary sometimes.

"How have we been friends since forever and you two still manage to confuse me?" Virgil mumbled.

Janus snickered. "It's part of our charm." He said easily.

Virgil huffed a laugh. "Calm down Charming."

"Hey! Are you two done flirting?" Remus joked, "because it's time to get your game face on! We're here!" He gestured to the Arcade dramatically.

Janus and Virgil rolled their eyes with a smile and followed Remus inside.

The Arcade was as loud and colorful as Virgil remembered, with endless beepings and sounds emitting from the hundreds of games that lined up the place, the colorful lighting moving around and changing constantly.

The three friends looked around with growing excitement, looking at all the games and weighing their options.

"Hey! Janny! Check this out!" Remus suddenly shouted, pointing excitedly at the DDR game at the center of the Arcade. "Bet I can still beat you to the ground at dancing!" He grinned provkingly at Janus.

Remus was all talk, no one ever has been able to beat Janus at dancing, in DDR or not, his graceful way if moving his body was unbeatable.

"Now, Remus, I know what you're trying to do…" Janus started, "but we both know, you have never beaten me in the classic game of Dance Dance Revolution, and you never will." Janus smirked at Remus smugly.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you put your money where your mouth is and show us what you got?" Remus challenged, grinning wildly.

"Hm gladly, just you watch and learn, my parents didn't put me in dance lessons for nothing, see how a true master does it." Janus said, walking towards the game with his chin up.

Virgil and Remus watched him go. "You just love provoking him, don't you?"

"Virgil, buddy," Remus put a hand on his shoulder, "it's my reason for living."

Virgil snorted, "you're awful."

Remus grinned at that. "Why, thank you Vee, I try my best. You have to admit how entertaining he is though." He jerked his head in Janus' direction, already deep in his dancing, eyes glued to the screen and legs gracefully going for the right arrows, clearly smiling.

Remus sighed contently, patting himself on the shoulder. "I know how much he loves dancing, you're such a good friend Remus! Why thank you, Remus!"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Dork…" he muttered.

"Hey! I heard that!" Remus punched his arm playfully, making Virgil laugh.

They then heard a faint ping coming from Remus' pocket and he fished out his phone to check what it was.

As he read whatever message it was, his expression started to change to… something Virgil never saw on him before, and something he quickly decided he didn't like at all. After a moment's hesitation, he tapped Remus lightly on the shoulder.

Remus jumped as if he got zapped by lightning, quickly locking his phone and turning around sharply to face Virgil, looking at him as if he forgot he was there.

"You okay, Re? Who messaged you?" Virgil asked with a frown of concern, he had never seen him act like it before… maybe Janus was right and he was hiding something…

Remus blinked a few times then grinned his usual grin, though it felt… off. "Eh, nothing important, just some stupid chores my parents asked me to do when I come back from 'school' "

"Um… okay? You just seemed a bit-"

"Know what? Changed my mind, this place is boring! I have a better idea, let's go!" He went to grab Janus and dragged him outside with him, Virgil worriedly trailing behind them.

What aren't you telling us, Remus?

…

"Remus, why are we at your house-"

"Shh" Remus shushed, "no one can know we're here, we're supposed to be in school remember?"

Virgil rolled his eyes, "you said that way louder than me but okay mister Stealth."

Janus snorted quietly at the comment as they continued to walk towards Remus' house.

But when they neared the front door, Remus took a sharp turn, going around the house instead.

Virgil and Janus exchanged worried glances behind Remus' back as they followed him.

"Remus, dear, you know how much I love sneaking around but… what exactly is your plan here?" Janus whispered to him as he stopped in a seemingly random place in their back yard.

"Do you know what my dad's job is?" Remus asked, turning to face his two friends.

Confused, they both shook their heads.

"Yeah neither do I, but I do know how to get inside his secret office, no one is allowed in there but my dad, which is why today we're gonna pick inside." Remus explained excitedly, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

Every part of Virgil's brain and body screamed at him to not do exactly what Remus just suggested, his mind already came up with at least 30 things that could go wrong and quickly going up to 50 scenerios.

Virgil bit his lip in hesitation, "I don't know Re… maybe it's a secret for a reason, what if there's something dangerous inside?"

"Oh c'mon, it's my boring ol' dad! It's probably just some personal stuff he's ashamed of or something." Remus dismissed Virgil's worries, like always… Seriously, why does he even bother?

"What do you say, Janny? You're usually not as boring as Emo over here."

Virgil huffed at that as Janus considered this. He then shrugged, "I must admit, I am curious to see what your father's up to, though I doubt it'll be too interesting, or even close to dangerous. Remus' dad is… many things, but exciting is not one of them."

"Yes! Knew you'll be on board, now." He turned to the wall of the house, considering it for a moment before pressing on random places on it. "Saw him do it so many times." He explained when he was done.

For a moment, nothing happened, then a soft beep of approval was heard and a section of the wall sunk down to the floor, revealing a hidden passage.

"That's… kinda overdoing it for just personal stuff you're ashamed of…" Virgil pointed out as he looked into the passageway. Bad potential scenarios are up to over a hundred now.

Remus groaned, "fine, stay here as a look out or something, me and Jay will check it out, I heard chickens like it outside more." Remus teased, making Janus snicker and Virgil roll his eyes.

"Well sorry for being cautious, geez." He tacked his hands into his hoodie, watching Remus walk inside.

"You really want to stay here? Alone?" Janus raised an eyebrow at him.

Virgil hesitated for a moment, glancing at the passage then out in the street… where anyone can walk by… and think Virgil's weird and suspicious for standing in someone else's yard for so long…

He sighed, he can't believe he's actually letting them convince him to do this… But if there's something he hates more than this dangerous plan… it's being alone.

"...whatever."

Janus smirked and walked inside, Virgil soon following, the 'door' closing behind the three of them. Making Virgil jump and turn towards the once open door… that's not a good sign…

They all walked in silence, trying to be as quiet as possible, and taking in the strange, secret passage they found.

They soon came into a bright lighted room, full of strange looking devices and various tools scattered around each of them, it almost looked like-

"A lab?!" Remus screeched in bewilderment, "I've had a secret lab in my house this whole time?! I should have snuck down here a lot sooner, damn!"

Janus shook his head, "what happened to 'be quiet, no one can know we're here'? " he asked with a smirk.

Remus just shrugged, "there's a limit to how long I can stay quiet and did you see what we found?!" He grabbed Janus' shoulders, shaking him in excitement, "my dad's a secret scientist! How freaking cool is that!"

Janus broke away from his grip, "apparently cool enough to forget what personal space means." He huffed, straightening his clothes, "but I admit this is… not what I was expecting, I wonder what your dad is researching."

Remus nodded at that looking over the various devices curiously.

"Holy shit, is this for real? …we should probably not touch any- Remus!" Virgil said in a panic when he saw Remus pick up a strange watch, "put that down! We don't know what it can do-"

A secret lab is like, horrible scenario number 122, complete with them accidentally activating some sort of doomsday device and bringing the end of the world!

"Geez, calm down, will ya? Nothing happened!" Remus huffed, putting the watch down.

"Yet.." Virgil added quietly, "this place gives me the creeps, let's get out of…" he trailed off, tilting his head as he looked at a full body-sized mirror… that didn't seem to reflect the room they were in, "...here." he finished quietly, frowning.

Virgil tilted his head, looking at the strange 'mirror' more closely. Its frame had strange carvings and drawings on it that looked like they're depicting battles. At the top of the mirror there were three small figures and a sentence in a language Virgil has never seen anything like it before…

"Vee? Everything- wow what is that?" Remus came to stand near Virgil, staring at the strange mirror and reaching a hand towards it.

Janus stopped him, "idiot, what do you think you're doing?" He growled at him.

Remus shook his head, seemingly waking up from something, "s-sorry, I just had the weirdest feeling…" he mumbled.

"Okay, this place is crazy, I'm leaving-" he paused, looking around in confusion, "ah… guys? Where's the passageway?"

They all started to look around, but all the walls seemed solid and closed with no openings. Janus and Virgil turned ro Remus, looking at him hopefully.

"Hey! I only saw him get in! I didn't think-"

"Yeah that's the problem! You don't think and somehow you always manage to convince me and… now we're stuck here! We don't have any food and no one knows where we are… I knew I had a bad feeling about today, but you two never listen to me!" Virgil yelled, breath becoming shallower with every word until he was panting.

He's tired of doing things he doesn't really want to do, he's tired of always following his only friends around and feeling as though it's his only choice…

And he's tired of constantly being scared of everything.

"Virgil, you need to breathe-"

"No! I have a right to panic, stop telling me to fucking calm down! News flush, telling someone anxious to calm down is not calming!" Despite that, he tried catching his breath without much luck.

"I'm…" they both turned to Remus at the sound of his unusually weak voice, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Virgil reached his hand to try and ground himself… and realized a second too late he wasn't leaning on a wall… but the strange mirror. His hand suddenly sunk into it, like it was made of water, and he cried in alarm when it started sucking him in.

Janus and Remus grabbed at his free arm, trying to pull him out, but nothing worked.

Before any of them realized what happened, the three of them disappeared into the mirror, leaving the lab quiet and empty.

#The Hardest Thing #tss big bang 2023 #tw peer pressure #tw anxiety #tw toxic friendship #Lily writes #amphibia au #tssstorytimesubmission2023 #tss storytime 2023

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kanna-banana · 8 months

Text

Ok, serious talk, I know nobody wants to read this but I'll feel better posting somewhere as opposed to vomiting my feelings all over my friends again, they've had enough, please feel free to ignore this and I'll be back to being silly in no time

Ok so, I know my blog is uncomfortable to read, I understand that my negativity and constant venting is at best annoying and at worst upsetting, i am aware of that but I also know that bottling up is worse to me and i feel like a liar if i just pretend everything is fine and just post silly stuff here.

My friends keep telling me I'm not a horrible person and am pretty funny actually and I think that is because they've know me for years and I was like that but things have not been going well im the last few years.

Yes I am not a bad person and I can be funny sometimes, but all of that gets overshadowed by the numerous mental issues I have and cannot cope with properly.

English is not my first language language so this gets a bit confusing because this nuance is pretty tricky in the language but as you all know is that "i am" can mean either "i am like this at the moment" (example "I'm cold" or "I'm hungry", those are not things that are inherent to you, they are temporary states) or "i am like this PERIOD" (example "I'm human" or "I'm Brazilian", they are permanent states about yourself)

Now

I know I AM (inherent) creative, funny sometimes, alright at drawing, and a bunch of other nice things people say about me when I'm crying, but you have to understand that i also am (temporary) completely fucked up mentally and emotionally, I'm not saying I'm going to be "cured" from being autistic btw, I'm counting not being able to handle my issues "being a bad temporary thing", like, i will never stop having ADHD symptoms (cannot afford a diagnosis so I'll just call them symptoms for now, or signs if you thing the word 'symptom' is a bit tone deaf) but i know i can learn how to live with it and function, even if my functioning looks very different from what's expected from a neurotypical person.

I am, at the moment, NOT DEALING WITH MY SHIT PROPERLY, and THAT is the issue I believe can be fixed. I will never have a good knee again, even after the surgery I just feel less pain, but i can learn how to adapt to my limitations, you know?

So, I am not, inherently, a failure, i know I'm not stupid or ugly or boring, but I'm so full of debuffs that basically I'm a piece of shit right now.

Yes, I did quit my job and tried to become a web developer and it went catastrophically bad, but I can't even count that as a failure because i NEEDED to quit that job either way (it was destroying my mental health) and if you're gonna quit going to live with a friend so dear to you she's basically a sister for a while and learning a skill you always wanted to at least start learning, isn't it worthy?

Yeah I "failed", but the happiness i felt along the way was worth even if it didn't work out in the end.

I know that, my mind knows that, but my feelings are absolute chaos and I sometimes fall into a deep self hatred spiral that makes me believe lies about everything around me, it even makes me believe everyone secretly hates me, which is OBJECTIVELY not true, if there's one thing I am in this world is loved.

I know it's sad, annoying, or even upsetting to see my posts and I'm not going to pretend they're inevitable, I CAN stop myself and I should have better restraint, I'm failing at that and I apologize for all the negative feelings I might have caused.

I know it's a pretty hard goal considering how my life is a huge mess right now, but my goal in life is to be the trans person i needed to meet when I was in the closet.

I want to be the type of happy, mature and intelligent person that my friends were when I met them 6? 7 years ago?

The people that completely shattered an entire lifetime of prejudice and fear that was forced into my brain since i was a toddler, the type of people that made me look at transphobic posts and go "that's not true, I've met trans people and they're some of the best people i know", the type of people who made me realize living as who you really are is both possible and achievable.

I want to be that person, someone who, just by being themselves, can melt away prejudice or at least be that kink in the armor of an angry reactionary that one day will help shatter the barrier of lies they protect themselves with and help them see that this hate was manufactured to use them as paws in a stupid made up culture war.

I got out of this horrible place with the help of wonderful people i will never be able to thank enough, and my dream is to help others out too.

I'm not saying i want to "trans" others, obviously, just to show that we are not the weird monsters thet so many out there want you to believe we are. To destroy the prejudice with the power of a honest, happy existence.

I want to be the person I needed when I was younger, lost, depressed, considering suicide, and constantly angry at anyone the liars and grifters who I trusted told me to hate.

I want to become the person who would have saved me back them.

I know it's going to take a lot of work, I have many barriers ahead of me, some inside of myself, some external, but neither way I have a LOT of work to do, and if there's one thing i can never do is give up.

I don't even know what "giving up" means at this point, I have to keep going, not only for myself but for those I might help in the future.

I can't change the past. I can't erase the harm my bigoted ignorant words caused, but I can grow into a person who heals as much as i used to hurt.

I know I'm a handful right now, and I am trying to control my words until i have the means to work on myself and improve as a person. Just, please be patient with me. If my posts upset you in the past please for your own sake unfollow/block me, I'm sorry I hurt you while trying to hurt myself, but unfortunately it will probably happen again, and there's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone that hurts you, even if they didnt INTEND to hurt you.

I am NOT (inherent) a failure

I am (temporary) failing

But I will get better.

I don't know how, I don't really have a plan, but I will figure it out somehow.

Life is not a game. I am not in a "doomed run", I can and I WILL live and be the best person I can be.

Thank you.

#kannablogiguess #kind of positive?

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x-authorship-x · 1 year

Note

I guess to put more positivity around the whole commenting thing, I should share my experience as a commentor. Look, I write really long comments, pretty much exclusively because my adhd brain demands it. I've actually had to pre-write a comment to copy-paste, because I know I need to comment more but my really long comments take a lot of mental energy to compose, and even that ended up being a solid paragraph. (I actually really recommend people do that, so they can leave comments like "I absolutely loved this!" even if they don't have the spoons to type it out. As someone who is also a writer, I would be thrilled to get a comment like that!)

I have never, not even once, for any fandom, had someone who didn't appreciate them. I've had people who didn't reply - which doesn't bug me at all, I know it can take a lot of energy for authors to reply to readers too - but I've never had someone complain or get annoyed or block me. Most of the time I get either replies like "thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me ;w;" or "thank you, I'm glad you loved it so much!!" or a really long ones addressing some of the things I pointed out that I liked or was interested about.

I know some people have had bad experiences with it - which is horrible and I'm so so sorry to all of you it happened to, you deserved so much better - but I promise that the vast majority of people will love you for them (even other readers who are looking through the comments! I know I like reading everyone else's comments and lot of other people do too). And I say all this as someone who has been in fandom for 19 years, and been leaving multiple paragraph comments for just as long.

As with any other type of comment, just be positive, don't try to leave criticism unless the author explicitly invites it, and don't be demanding, and you'll be golden! Tell people what you liked, not what you didn't, because yeah it does hurt to get something negative like that, and chances are you didn't mean to discourage the author of a fic you like or make them feel bad.

I completely agree, I've never had a poor reaction to a comment I've left and it hurts my heart that others have 😩 so many creators are so discouraged by a lack of interaction with their work, I'm so disappointed in other creators - responding harshly to comments that are not mean spirited at all - for not just... Turning off the function if they don't want engagement! Dont put people down for enjoying your work!

My comments are usually riddled with emojis and swear words lmao but that's just what I'm like😅😅😅

That being said, I also don't expect authors to reply to me! Honestly, a lot of the time I actually forget what I've commented and when I did so, so getting a notification in my emails is always such a lovely little surprise 🥹

So, to my readers: please never feel like you have to limit yourself in my askbox or comment section. I am delighted by your delight, I am enthused by your enthusiasm, I love your love!

When I'm receiving comments... Hate is immediately deleted. Something I don't want, like solicited criticism, people who try to make me feel bad or guilty (and not in a "why have you done this😭❤️ that cliffhanger!!" way, dw i know the difference!) And people demanding that I write/update/change to suit them... even then, a comment I see as rude will probably just be deleted or I will intentionally ignore them (I don't get around to replying to everyone, so please don't automatically assume I've taken offence if you receive no reply!)

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #writer stuff #comments #author reader

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eolewyn1010 · 1 year

Text

Yes, I have in fact ended my reblog spree for today (I think), and now on to other matters: My weekend <3

Bavaria sure has A Landscape(TM). Granted, my usual route every week goes mostly through Brandenburg which is just kinda. Flat. So it ain't much of a contender. But anyway. Bavaria in winter. A hellhole to travel through, but what a beauty.

Sänk ju for träwwelling wis Deutsche Bahn, I guess? Germany, get your shit together and invest money into functioning public traffic services. Yesterday, I spent nine and a half hours on trains (some of them not the ones I had planned to go by) and freezing my ass off at stations, waiting for a replacement bus that never showed.

Statistically speaking from my personal experience, when people older than 50 are on a train in a group, they will have atrocious manners. No trace of basic politeness towards fellow travellers. I'm "young people these days", and I was behaving better. Fascinating.

WHY IS FOOD IN MUNICH THAT GOOD?? Like, it's expensive, but there's expensive food in Berlin, too, and it tastes like ass. I order an expensive meal in Munich, and I wind up not regretting a cent. I'm baffled. And I wanna eat there again.

Apparently, everyone can iceskate but me. That's probably a gap I should fill in some day, but I don't enjoy pain, or cold, or wet, and my sense of balance is really underdeveloped. It looks really nice from a distance tho.

Munich's internal train network makes way more intuitive sense to me than Frankfurt's.

I met two people I've only ever written with so far in person for the first time, and I think they didn't hate me! Yeah, the anxiety corner of my brain was there in the beginning like, "you're so annoying!", but I managed to convince it that, if they actively hated spending time with me, they probably wouldn't bother for so long to pretend otherwise. And then I had a good time! I had legit fun! In the presence of other people! Who knew!

Thermo tights are my best friends. Lovely thermo tights. Dude, what a German winter. I could swear we haven't had Weather(TM) like this in several years.

So. Much. Architecture! I wanna have a piece of Munich and take it home with me. Pretty pretty houses. And parks. Etc.

The receptionist at the hotel greeting me like, "Servus", me instantly going, "Hallo" - peak awkward stranger syndrome. If I'd had time enough to out myself as a Saxonian, I probably would have done that, too.

As for the actual Thing(TM). Well.

The Thing(TM) is a reading performance of Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol on stage, and I was only looking forward to this for half a year or so.

The lighting? So goddamn pretty?? They don't do very atmospheric stage lighting in the theater where I used to go with my school as a kid, and I didn't really have many opportunities for other theaters as an adult, so... mind = blown. It was really just a reading performance, but the lighting alone took it a huge step closer to a full-on play.

The MUSIC. Oh my god. I'm reasonably sure they never strayed far from that one Christmas song, but, again, all the things they did with it built out the storytelling way beyond "two guys reading out a well-known story on a stage". Mind = blown again.

The two guys? Yeah, they just happen to be the actors of two of my favorite characters of all time, and there they were live and read-acting the shit out of this story. *squee*

We were, like, five meters away from the stage? We got so great seats, you guys. We could see their performances so fucking up close. Nothing evades my eyes!

I know I'm biased because of my dumb little shipper heart usually having fun with their Tatort characters, but was Christmas Carol always that gay? "His partner" this, "the only one who grieved for him" that, "he was Marley's only heir", that dramatic "JACOB!" yell with hand reaching out to him, and there was the comment about his co-apprentice from way back when having had a soft spot for him. Okay then. You kids have fun. So did I.

Miroslav Nemec performing Ebenezer Scrooge - yeah, I was told before that he was the weaker voice actor out of the two. So I was not prepared for him going to town on Scrooge's facets and development and all that he tries to conceal and all that just bursts out of him. The fears, the joys, the attempt to appear cold and unfeeling when confronted with a break-up, the genuine love and worry he shows early and late in his life for various people. Yeah, no, that was awesome character work.

Udo Wachtveitl playing Basically Everyone Else was. A treat. Like, he believably speaks the role of an excited 8-year-old! He has all the gloom and doom of dead Marley - and then injects a dose of ridicule, just because. He's very grave about his roles in one moment, and the next, he stumbles in belatedly as the Ghost of Christmas Present, chewing a snack on stage. Or running into walls. Or making sounds I didn't know a human person could make. So many voices that he can just pull off. Boy, I hope acting this is as much a joy to him as it is for the audience to watch him.

We met Miro Nemec afterwards. And he was in a hurry, he had a cab waiting, but he still? Signed our stuff? And was super nice? And not impatient for a moment? He even asked if he should use another pencil and try again because he wasn't sure the signature on my photo was visible. I can't believe I've met the actor of one of my favorite characters in the big wide world, and he just has the audacity to be a huge, kind sweetheart.

That is all I can remember for now, but. I don't regret a thing; this was the best weekend I've had in a long-ass time. What a highlight. I don't often do highlights. This one was spectacular. So much love goes out to my accomplices this weekend, and so much gratitude to everyone involved in the making of this performance. (Miro gets a little extra love just because he's a sweetie.)

#personal

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hollywoodsargeant · 11 months

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Hiiii! Hope you're doing well 💕✨

1,2 and 24 for the asks you posted 🫶🏼

from questions i think would be fun to be asked

HELLO! i am good. thank you for entertaining my nonsense (again) i hope you are well also <3

1. what are 3 things you'd say shaped you into who you are?

well. writing is definitely... a very core part of my identity... it's my major and my minor in college bc it's probably the most important thing in the world to me. ever? i've been writing since i was like 6 and it's one of the only things i've stuck with for that long so. would not be the person i am today without it i think it alters my brain functions on a daily basis

man two more things... Uh. i don't fucking know. how about in that vein one of my high school english teachers who sent me an email subject lined "very bad news" which is terrifying by the way but he was literally just saying that it was terrible that i could write like as a career bc it's such a volatile industry. but he thought i should try anyways. again with the. yeah i wouldn't be me right now if he was never my teacher. thanks man

2. show us a picture of your handwriting

MY HANDWRITING... yes. not the biggest fan of my handwriting tbh but i like to think it's legible. i didn't know what to write for example purposes so here's a snippet bc i'm annoying like that

this is in my notebook forever now

24. what's one thing you're proud of yourself for?

more than anything probably definitely finishing my book. i am still querying (which is a process and a half) but i have like a document sitting in my drive that i can look at and think yeah that's a product i'm happy with. i've been writing for a really long time but i've always been pretty bad at sticking to one thing for long enough that it actually sees any type of Finished Product-type ending for it so the fact that i stuck with that draft for long enough to finish it is a feat. very proud of it. and looking back at the first draft in comparison makes me feel proud as well because the first draft fucking sucks lol improvement is real

#ask #ask game #at what point do i give in and wax poetic about how much i love writing #yeah this writer loves writing #in similar news. fork spotted in the kitchen #oh and #boyish.miamis #<- if you couldn't guess what doc i pulled that from

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ionlycareaboutyou · 1 year

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i’ve had a exhausting past...10 days or so and there have been good moments. like i’m definitely in a depressive episode but a very high functioning one, if that makes sense? i go to work and i see my friends and i have fun but the whole time i just feel “off”, and my brain is just like, screaming at me. and it’s really embarrassing because i can feel myself pushing people away, not handling my feelings well, saying things i don’t really want to say because i just feel so bad inside.

i don’t know why i can’t just talk about my feelings openly. i think the most honest thing i’ve said to friends irl lately is “yeah i’m not doing well lately to be honest” and i didn’t get much of a response, which is fine. it’s not their job to comfort me nor is it their job to be my therapist. i wish i hadn’t said it though, because now they know and i’m worried i come across like a huge annoying trauma-dumping mess of a friend that everyone wants to drop but is too nice to. i feel like it’s easier to type out my feelings but even after doing that for a while i get tired of myself and it just makes the self loathing worse.

i’ve definitely made progress when it comes to “mental health” (that term has been so commodified it feels cheesy to even apply to myself) because i basically never think about ending my life anymore, which is a good thing. and i don’t really catastrophize as much anymore; a few years ago, when things got bad i was searching for the nearest bridge to jump off. but even this progress doesn’t feel like it’s enough. i always feel that way. if i work all day and teach five classes out of six, i feel like it’s not enough and i still don’t deserve to rest. if i don’t eat for twenty hours, i feel like it’s not enough and i should be refraining from eating for twenty-four hours, fourty-eight hours, one hundred and sixty-eight hours. i’ll never be enough but even if i really did all these things, if i worked all day and stayed overtime and never ate, i probably wouldn’t feel like that was enough either.

i know my feelings are no one’s responsibility but my own. i know that my friends are not there to listen to my issues, to deal with them, to be my therapists, etc etc etc. i know that bringing up how i’m feeling depressed lately is probably unhealthy and problematic in some way and no one wants to listen to that. i guess i’m just so tired of living in my own head and feeling this way. it makes me feel like all the supposed “progress” i’ve made is for nothing. it makes me feel like i’m going to end up friendless and alone by my own doing, because i pushed everyone away, in my 20s. i can keep living life and even having fun but when i’m by myself i just feel so exhausted, down the bone, and i don’t even really know what to do about it. i don’t even really know why i’m writing this post. i guess i just needed to say it to someone.

#personal

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triforceangel13 · 9 months

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Sing Me a Melody Ch. 2 (A BakuDeku Omegaverse Au)

Chapter 2: Guilty Song

Weeks had gone by. Katsuki had not returned to the cafe to see that cute omega again. He had buried himself into his work once more, doing press conferences, signing opprotunities, and most importantly practice.

Especially the new song that he had come up with. Well...not him.

He had taken one of the songs in the notebook he kept on him close at hand and had worked with it to make it a beautiful song.

The rest of the band was surprised where it had come from all of a sudden after so long of his brain not functioning to create even a line.

But the guilt sank into him. It continued to sink into him. He was claiming this as his own and he shouldn't be.

He never went anywhere without the notebook, even keeping the notebook under his pillow at night which had helped him fall asleep.

It wasn't the omega's scent relaxing him each night that clung to the pages. Nothing like that, at least that's what he told himself over and over again.

Even now right backstage of the concert he kept it tucked in his bag for safe keeping to make sure it was safe.

He would return it. When ths concert was over he would return it and thank the omega, hoping that he wouldn't be too upset by this.

It was to be expected that he would be upset in the first place for taking something that was probably very personal.

Maybe he should warn Sero about a possible legal thing happening after the concernt just in case it came to that.

It was currently intermission and he was taking a moment to sit in his dressing room, making sure to take a drink and relax until he had to go back out on stage.

And sing this brand new song.

Plucking up the notebook out of his bag he let out a sigh, pulling out the piece of paper of the notes and lyrics of what he had come up from it.

His eyes scanned it and he felt that familiar warmth bubbling in his chest.

This omega. This Izuku, had such strong feelings in his words and in his works. As if something had happened to him, or at least continued to happen to him and this was the only way he could get his frustrations out.

He felt for him. That was how some of Katsuki's own music was made. He took what he was feeling and put it to paper.

But the latest ones were all the same as their greatest hits. It was getting boring and repetitive. This is not what he needd. He had needed something new.

“Hey man, do you have another pick for my guitar I lost mine,” Kirishima asked, stepping into the room without knocking.

Katsuki flinched, snapping the notebook shut and tucked it under himself to hide it.

“Yeah, it's in my bag,” he stated, the guilt on his face just seemng to blast through the tension in the air right now.

Kirishima rose a brow stepping in and got the pick, then crossed his arms.

“What are you hiding?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Katski stated.

“Dude. Come on. We've known each other since high school. I know when youre hiding something. Show it,” Kirishima demanded.

Katsuki sighed heavily.

He was caught.

Izuku sighed softly as he stared out the window in his apartment. For once he had a day off but he honestly just couldn't relax at all.

Without his notebook he found he was a little on edge.

He had tried starting another one but for some reason without having his other notes and other works to look back on things just wouldn't flow nicely.

Nothing went the right way, nothing was making him happy.

He sighed, closing the curtain, getting ready to go to bed. It was getting late and he did have to go to work the next day. May as well just sleep rather than just sit with more hours of being annoyed and upset.

Staring into his phone he sighed, reaching to rub the old scar on his neck. An old mating bite. The one that had been buried on his neck that he hid with bandaids and makeup every day.

Was he in hiding? Sort of. His alpha had abandoned him but in the past he had always popped up when Izuku didn't want him to be, wanting to be back in his life.

And then one failure again would just result in him leaving again.

Izuku had enough. He decided to just move away from his home and hide away, making a new life for himself.

He had made friends, gotten a job and an...okay apartment.

To him it was all he needed.

“Hey Izuku!” Ochako texted him. He looked at the time. He was honestly surprised she was on her phone and texting him.

“Hey, what's up?” he replied.

“Did you see the newest song that favorite band of yours performed tonight?”

Izuku paused. That was right. That concert was that night and then they would be leaving this area for another stop in their tour.

“Not yet, is it good?” he asked.

“It's amazing! It looks like they're taking a turn with their music or something. I might start listening to them now.”

A link popped up for him and he poked it to bring it up. It started out as it normally did, guitar, the keyboard.

“Remember the moment you left me alone and

Broke every promise you ever made

I was an ocean, lost in the open,

Nothin' could take the pain away”

Izuku smiled at the sound of it, enjoying the melody coming from the lead singer, Dynamight, watching the concert video.

He was sweaty, goregeous and up close. This person had a pretty good spot to get a good view just like this.

Something tickled in the back of his mind about the lyrics but he chose to ignore it.

“So you can throw me to the wolves

Tommorrow I will come back

Leader of the whole pack

Beat me black and blue

Every wound will shape me

Every scar will build my throne”

The smile fell from Izuku's face as he listened. These lyrics were familiar. Too familiar. And it wasn't Dynamight's typical work. This was...

“The sticks and the stones that you used to throw have

Built me an empire, so don't even try

To cry me a river, 'cause I forgive you

You are the reason I still fight”

His own work.

Izuku shot up in the bed, watching as the rest of his song unfolded from Dynamight's lips, the crowd going wild.

These were his own lyrics. Things he had written after a hard moment, used for the entertainment of others.

Tears welled up in his eyes.

So that's what happened with his notebook.

The song was good. The song was very good actually. Dynamight had worked it in a way that had made it amazing, and to see so many love it so much was astounding.

But it was personal. And the alpha hadnt even asked, just used what wasn't his.

Letting out a small sob he covered his face in his hands, burying them against his knees as he cried, letting the end of the song play out on his phone.

Kirishima stood in Katsuki's hotel room with him with the others as well, Sero, Kaminari, and Mina standing there shocked at Katsuki's words.

The blonde sat in his chair, feeling gross from the concert and his make up having run down his face a bit.

He just wanted a shower and go to bed.

“So that song was...not your own? Katsuki did you at least get permission to use it?” Mina asked with a frown.

“No,” Katsui sighed.

“Well we were the ones who sang it. And it's never been created befow,” Kaminari chimed in, trying to make light of the situation.

But this was very serious, even that didn't help.

Katsuki was pissed Kirishima had told everyone, but it honestly it had to come out.

“That's not how this works Denki,” Sero sighed softly and looked to the blonde. “We have to tread carefully now and talk to the omega you took this notebook from before he goes to the press with that you stole his song.”

“Maybe he doesn't know?” Kirishima asked. “There's a possibility there.”

“The song is blowing up on the internet,” Mina sighed as she looked to her phone. “There's no way he hadn't hear it by now.”

Katsuki sighed softly.

“What do we do?” Katsuki asked.

“Well for one stop using that notebook,” Sero snapped at him but took a deep breath to calm down. “We go back to that coffee shop and talk to him. I don't want to offer hush money, but I will. If not then we have a long trial coming up over the rights to his song. Maybe he'll be happy about it, I don't know. I want to avoid trial as much as possible. You already have a reputation for always being seen going out of the court houses.”

Katsuki rubbed his temples.

“Deal. Let's worry about it in the morning,” he grumbled. Sero gave a nod, motioning for the others to follow him out. “We'll see you tommorrow No running off,” Sero said. Katsuki waved his hand at him and sighed as the door shut behind him, cursing softly.

He pulled the notebook out of his bag and sighed, bringing it to his nose and inhaled gently, the scent of the omega reaching his nose. It was growing faint from being away for so long...

He wanted to fix this. Maybe get his own notebook back, give him the money and just never sing that song again.

But with how popular it was he didn't think he'd be able not do it.

With another curse he closed his eyes, letting out another sigh.

I’m open for written commissions

want to support? my patreon (triforceangel)

my a03 (triforceangel) as another place to read my fics

#my hero academia #bakudeku #sing me a melody

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ultravioart · 1 year

Text

RAAAAHHH anyways I don't mean to get into such heavy topics. I just find myself very focused on articulating things, as clearly as I can in serious topics, which can get out of hand fast.

I genuinely do not mean to be mean or harsh my brain is just like. Deathly serious with any topic involving harm reduction. Trust me, I promise, I am NOT fun at parties. I know this. LOL

OCD basically has me hardset on what I view as harm reduction overtaking my attempts to try and be socially palattable. Like straight up, I have always been a "see something, say something" person no matter who or what. And I take the brutal honesty in return: I may not understand it at first but once I do, I often try to learn from it if it makes logical sense. People don't owe me thier time. And it's my job to improve myself.

Add on top of that "being palattable" was a huge part of learning unmasking for me. And yeah, I am wrong about things, like any human. But I am often able to readjust and admit it... so? Litterally any time I've prioritized being palattable it leads me to not as easily admit I am wrong about something, which I HATE the feeling of. I HATE myself when I behave like that: I should just own up to the fat L and learn from it and move on, I don't need to stress myself out over something I never needed to hem and haw and act like a complete ass about in the first place. So, instead if trying to "fit in"(never have even with best attempts) I aim to live and learn. It works for me and I am able to live a much healthier life by pointing something out and learning from mistakes, or pointing something out and and teaching/helping others, instead of worrying over it and learning nothing or feeling guilty over how it might ruin something for someone.

And I am aware that can make my company or interactions annoying as fuck to many, but like. That's how I function. That's all I know. And it's so less stressful to actually communicate in a way that works for me, than always trying to play 4d chess with trying to be palattable that doesn't even work half the time. If it genuinely bothers you, you can block me, and I don't mean that in a sassy or uppity way. I genuinely mean, if I am too much, you have every right to block and move on. This is the internet, and this is your life.

I will litterally discuss something for hours because my brain can't read it as socially unacceptable to do. I catch myself sometimes but ong I can go on forever if I keep getting replies LOL. So, apologies in advance. I will try to be more chill but tbh I don't even know how to do that. OTL

#text #personal text #long text #actually autistic #OCD #to future full throttle convos: forgive me... lmao

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roscgcld · 3 years

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GOJO SATORU || pretty eyes [pt.2]

anime: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru

pronouns: she/her

notes: high-school! gojo x underclassman! reader

the part two of ‘pretty eyes’ is here! read part one here.

“You really do have pretty eyes, senpai.”

Gojo prides himself as a man who just ‘doesn’t do relationships’. Besides the fact that there is a line of women who were just waiting to get with him, he had never really seen what an actual functioning relationship looked like. His parents had an arranged marriage to ‘keep the Gojo clan’s genes powerful’ - his father was barely around, going about his duties to the clan whilst his mother was out and about having affairs left, right and center.

With that being said though, Gojo was a determined man. He may not know exactly what was it that draws him to a particular junior of his, but he’d be damned if he didn’t get to at least know her better. The problem? He has absolutely no clue on how to woe her.

“Remind me again exactly what am I doing here?”

It was a Friday afternoon - and classes are always let out earlier on Friday. Usually Geto would spend the free afternoon just relaxing in his dorm after a long week of classes and missions; but before Geto can evens step one foot out of the stuffy classroom, Gojo had grabbed his arm and teleported them both out of campus. That’s how he found himself in a random café that Gojo had graciously dragged them into, narrowing his eyes over at his best friend as he raised his mug of earl grey to his lips. “If this is about copying my essay-”

“How do you ask a girl out?”

“Hah?” Geto asks with an annoyed scowl, to which Gojo just made a noise before he awkward sets his clean cake fork down; the multi-layered cookies and cream cake sat untouched before him. That alone should be concerning, since Gojo is known to have a strong affinity for sweets. “How do you ask a girl out? Like, on a date.” Gojo repeated with the utmost serious expression on his face, and for a few moments Geto just blinks at him owlishly. “Satoru, how the hell have you been asking women out before this? It’s the same damn thing.”

“Asking a girl you actually like out and asking someone for a one night stand are two very different things.” Gojo stresses whilst Geto actually sets his mug down before him, the situation slowly dawning onto him. “You’re actually being serious right now.” He mutters whilst Gojo tossed him an annoyed look, clearly unamused by how little faith his friend has in him. “Well, first things first, you actually need to get to know them better first before you actually ask them.”

“Yeah, well - I’m trying to work on that.” Gojo grumbles out quietly as he picked his fork back up, digging into the corner of his cake with a soft frown whilst Geto leans back into his seat with a thoughtful look. “But I didn’t even notice her until recently.” He sighs softly to himself as he examined his forkful of cake, a slight pout tugging on his lips. “I am sure Ieiri might help. But knowing her, that means I’ll owe her another debt that she will use against me.”

Geto, for once, actually feels some form of sympathy for Gojo. Whilst he grew up in a functioning household with loving parents, Gojo was brought up in a lonely world, where he was treated like a prized position to be paraded about. So Geto wasn’t shocked at how unsure the usually overconfident Gojo is when it comes to something as trivial as dating. “Well...you can bring her out for coffee like you’re doing with me.” He offered, to which Gojo just made a face at his statement. “Sorry buddy, I don’t swing that way.”

“You little piece of shit.” Geto grunted with a light scowl as he kicked Gojo hard underneath the table, his annoyance growing at the familiar grin that was tugging at the corners of Gojo’s lips; and also the fact that his foot was stop by the Limitless that Gojo had activated before Geto can kick. “I mean an actual cute date dumbass - bring her café hopping about Tokyo or something. Or one of those pet cafes - people love pet cafes.” Geto said with a tired sigh, picking up his mug to take a slow sip from his warm liquid whilst Gojo actually pauses for a moment at Geto’s words. “Wait, that’s not that bad of an idea.”

Geto just rolled his eyes at that, taking soft sips from his mug whilst he watches as Gojo start googling about a few cafes that he can bring her about. “You’re welcome.” Geto said with a tired sigh as he sets his mug down, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks over at Gojo. “Now figure out a way to get to know her better and see if she’s even interested in your annoying ass.” He stated simply, to which Gojo just grins as he pointed the end of his fork as Geto, having eating that bite of cake whilst he typing away on his phone. “Who wouldn’t be interested in me?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

The next time he had gotten a chance to bump into her was actually by complete accident.

Like usually, he had decided to slack off instead of doing his homework; so it was no surprise to find the young shaman cooped up in the library of the school with a variety of textbooks opened around him. To be honest, Gojo wouldn’t have done this essay if it wasn’t for the fact that it had a heavy weightage on his final grade, determining if he could graduate from high school.

Even with that threat overhead, he decided to drag it out until the very last day to start writing it. Geto was just annoyed at him, since Gojo is actually really smart - yet he enjoys slacking off. It was infuriating, and since Gojo had already annoyed him enough with his entire ‘crush’ situation, Geto had just told him to go to the library before promptly closing the door in his face.

So there Gojo was, long limbs stretched out all over the place as he twirls his pen between his fingers. He had the most bored expression on his face as he tilted his head back with a sigh, his eyes blinking up at the wooden ceiling. If he was being honest, he had actually finished half of his essay - until he grew bored and wanted a distraction. He was about to get up to go and grab a snack from the vending machines when he heard a pair of soft footsteps and a quiet voice calling out to him.

“Oh, hello there, Gojo-senpai.”

Gojo widen his eyes in shock as he suddenly sat up straight, almost dropping the pen he was twirling between his fingers as he snapped his eyes up at the girl that had plagued his thoughts day and night. The same smile gracing her lips as she curiously walked towards the messy desk, casting a glance over the many opened books and the half-written essay before him. “Am I disturbing your research?”

“N-No.” Gojo said, cringing a little at how awkward he sounded - it was so unnatural and so unlike him, and he hopes that she didn’t notice it. Fortunately she hadn’t picked up on the awkwardness that he was basically radiating as she smiles and nods, gesturing to the free seat opposite from his with her free hand. “Do you mind if I take a seat there? I don’t really like studying alone in the library, it can get really quiet and boring.”

Numbly Gojo nodded, feeling a light blush coating his cheeks when he saw the grateful smile she tossed over at him casually as she made her way to the seat. He snapped out of it when he saw her pulling her own textbook from her bag, quickly shifting his mess into a neat pile so she has more space to work. She thanked him quietly with a smile, settling down in the free seat opposite from his as she started to flip through her book. He pretended to return to his work as well, but in reality he was watching her through his lashes, admiring how she can make something as simple as reading look graceful.

There was no way he was going to be able to do work now.

Closing his eyes a little, he reaches up to rub the bridge of his nose, this action causing his signature rounded sunglasses to fall down the bridge a little more. He was about to push them back when he felt a pair of eyes on him, causing him to look over the rim of his glasses over at the girl before him. When she was caught staring she just smiles at him, causing Gojo’s now calmed cheeks to flare up once more. “You really do have pretty eyes, senpai.” The girl stated simply, tilting her head a little as she casted him another smile.

And once more, the simple act of a smile caused Gojo’s breath to hitch, his eyes widening even more as he watches how she just casually looked down at her textbook once more. If only she knew just how that one sentence had basically shot-circuited his brain - rendering him useless for a few seconds. Somehow though, he managed to slowly return to his senses and start on his essay, the sound of having someone else studying with him getting him into the groove of things. Without even knowing it, he wrote the last sentence of his essay; smiling victoriously as he picked the essay up and flipped through the sheets of writing. He gave them a quick scan, reading it briefly to make sure everything looks alright before he slipped his essay back into his folder.

He had started to pack his books up when he spotted the clear look of confusion that was splashed across the face of the girl opposite from him. For some reason she reminded him of a kitten, and for a brief moment he just wanted to reach over to gently squish her cheeks in his hands. Instead he gave into his smaller temptation; gently kicking her slipper clad foot with one of his own to grab her attention. “Need some help with that?”

The younger girl gave him an embarrassed smile as she nods, rubbing the back of her head softly as she glances back at her textbook. “I wouldn’t mind...it’s just - I’ve been reading over the same chapter for a few days now, but I just don’t understand anything.” She admitted with a tired sigh as she hangs her head a little, sporting what looks to be a soft pout of frustration that caused Gojo’s heart to skip a beat at how adorable she looked. Wordlessly Gojo got up, grabbing his seat from his end of the table as he made his way towards her.

Settling down beside her, he leaned closer to scan over the page of the textbook, a memory jostling in the back of his mind at the same lesson he took back in his first year. “Oh, I remember this. I can help you if you want.”

“Really?” The younger girl said with an curious look as she glanced back at the man seated beside her, Gojo widening his eyes when he realised just how close their faces were. He can feel her soft breath against his cheek, and what smelt like mint coming from parted lips. This caused him to blush as he hid his widened eyes behind his sunglasses, wondering how the hell was she not outwardly reacting at how close their faces were. “Y-Yeah. I mean, I’ve already finished my work...I don’t mind killing some free time helping you.”

The girl gave him a grateful smile before she rubs the back of her neck gently, feeling a soft flush appearing on her cheeks that caused Gojo to stare shamelessly. “Thank you, senpai. If you need anything from me after this, don’t hesitate to ask.” She offered shyly as she glances over at Gojo, who blinked before he decided to take his opportunity. “A-Actually, there is something you can help me with.” Gojo admitted after he took a deep breath to steel his resolve, but the tone of his voice was still far too shy for how the third year.

His words caused the girl beside him to cast him a curious glance

“Would you maybe...be interested on going on a date with me?” He asks her, biting his lip a little as he stared at her from behind his sunglasses. For a brief moment the girl just blinked at him before her face suddenly blossomed in a deep shade of red, her hands coming up to slap over her warm cheeks as she stared at him with wide eyes. “M-Me?”

A shy nod was given before Gojo awkwardly glances down at his lap as well, rubbing the back of his neck with one of his hand whilst the other rested on the desk before them; anxiously tapping against the wood. “Y-Yeah.” He mumbles in a soft voice, and for a few moments there was silence that caused Gojo’s heart to beat painfully against his chest.

Screw whoever says that facing a Special Grade Curse would be terrifying - Gojo feels like he might just die from the anxiety of asking someone out for something as simple as a date.

He was about to start babbling about some random reason as to why when he heard her shy answer. “I-I mean...I wouldn’t mind going out on a date with you...”

Cue short-circuited Gojo once more.

“O-Oh.” Gojo spluttered out with wide eyes, having not expected for her to agree so readily as she gave him a shy smile, her face still dusted in a light shade of red as she nodded her. Her answer caused him to smile, biting his lip a little to stop his face from splitting open in a huge grin as he tilts his head a little. “Does 5pm tomorrow sound alright for you?” He asks her quietly, to which she grins softly and nods her head, her action causing her hair to fall over her face in perfect waves; the action causing Gojo’s already poor heart to do another flip in his chest. “We can meet up at the front of the school.”

With a final nod and another shy smile shared between the two, both of them returned to the work that hand. However there was a certain atmosphere between the two; the slightly excitement that was clearly on their faces at the idea of their date tomorrow, the light bumping of shoulders as Gojo reaches over to point at something as he explained it to the girl quietly, soft comments that leads to soft giggles and the shy glances they both share. The soft smiles on their faces sealing the scene for anyone to walk past to know that there was definitely something brewing between the two

Who knew all it took was a simple complement to land them where they are today.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk #jjk imagines #jjk fluff #gojo satoru x you #satory gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk satoru #satoru #satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff

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chefdoeuvre · 3 years

Text

Pushy

Jay Halstead & Will Halstead

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Sister!Reader, Will Halstead x Sister!Reader

Description: Some guys don’t know when to take a hint.

Words: 1,116

Requested: yes by anonymous; hey i have a halstead sister request? i don’t know if you’ve seen outer banks but there’s this scene with one of the female protagonists where she’s making out with her boyfriend (who’s sort of like the pushy controlling type) and she says she’s ready to have sex but then backs out and he gets mad at her and i was wondering if u could write an imagine where the same thing happens to y/n with her boyfriend (the girl in the show is like 16 so i’d love it if she was that age- u don’t have to write any descriptive smut obviously cause that’s not really the point) and then she gets home and is super upset but when jay asks what’s wrong at first she doesn’t say anything and tells him he won’t understand but then confides in him and he gets protective and caring? sorry if this is really descriptive but i also really want an imagine where it touches on y/n growing up without a mother or female figure in her life and how it can be hard to discuss some things with brothers but they love her so it’s fine? thx so much 💗

Warnings: mention of sex, an annoying Topper-like person, language, Will and Jay Halstead together (because they need a warning when they’re put in the same room).

A/N: I just watched Outer Banks last week (‘coincidentally’ after getting this request) and I might be a little obsessed. For anyone not familiar the scene this is inspired by is between Sarah and Topper in s1ep3. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.

—

Parties. They were all the rage with summer now coming to an end. Everyone wanted to get in their last huzzah before the school year started up once again. You and your boyfriend were at pretty much every single party this summer. Of course, he would drag you along with his friends with empty promises of a good time. You and parties never mixed well, especially because all you could hear in the back of your mind were Jay and Will’s voices harping on you being safe. You were currently sitting on a couch on the back porch while you nursed your first and only cup of beer for the night. Your boyfriend had soon waltzed his way into the seat beside you. He swung an arm over your shoulder and whispered a few words into your ear. His breath smelled of tequila and vaguely of lemons which were probably from the shots he had just been doing.

“Let’s head somewhere more quiet.” He gestured his head toward the door leading back into the house.

You nodded your head and followed him as he led you to the balcony upstairs. The balcony overlooked the backyard where most people stood, did a few shots, and chatted. The two of you took a seat beside each other on the small couch they had set up. After a few moments went by the two of you leaned in to share a kiss.

The kiss quickly became heated as his hands began to roam your body. Pulling at your top eagerly.

“Are you sure?” He pulled back with a breath after you gave him no sign of stopping.

“Yeah.” You nodded and leaned back in.

As the two of you continued to make out the overwhelming feeling you always got in this situation came creeping back. The feeling caused you to pull away as you shook your head.

“No, no I can’t.” You scooted a few centimeters away from him.

“Of course.” He huffed, “you always say you’re ready and then can’t continue. Make up your damn mind already.” He stood up and walked back into the house, most likely to find his friends once again.

You let out a sigh and ran a hand over your warm face. You laughed humorlessly at your luck in guys before standing up and making your way out of the house. Crossing your arms over your chest you started the short walk home to yours and Jay’s apartment building. Thankfully, Jay and Will would be home by the time you made it back to the apartment. Even with how overprotective Jay is he trusted you not to get shitfaced and throw yourself into trouble at parties. Of course, as long as you made it home by your curfew, which was decently reasonable. Your two brothers had already made plans to watch the game at Jay’s apartment together while they would wait for you to make it home.

After walking in through the door you threw your shoes to the side and flopped onto the couch in between Jay and Will with a huff. The two of them exchanged a confused glance before looking at your somewhat pouty and pissed-off face.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Will asked with concerned eyes.

You sat there silently seething while also feeling the need to cry your eyes out.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Jay turned to face you.

“You won’t understand.” You shook your head, your voice was clearly upset.

“All right, so it’s about a guy then?” Will considered.

The two men sat there blankly staring at each other, communicating with their eyes on how to approach this. They stilled when they heard a soft sniffle come from you.

“My boyfriend sucks.” You sighed.

Will and Jay looked up at each other with wide eyes, already assuming the worst.

“What’d he do? Did he hurt you?” Jay questioned.

“No. Unless it’s emotionally then the answer is yes.” You wiped your nose with the back of your hand.

“Emotionally, how?” Will tilted his head.

“I can’t tell you, it’ll be weird.” You scrunched your nose at the thought of telling your older brothers about your sex life. Or lack thereof.

“We promise we won’t be weird. Right, Will?” Jay reassured you as he glanced up at the oldest of the three of you.

“I’ll even pinky promise.” Will held out his pinky toward you, eliciting a small laugh when you connected yours with his.

“The floor is yours.” Jay gestured outward with his arm.

“No being weird.” You warned.

“No being weird.” The two men nodded simultaneously.

“So my boyfriend and I were at a party, as you know.” They gestured for you to continue, “and I said I wanted to do it but when I changed my mind he got all pissy about it. And he does this every time I think I’m ready but back out.” You explained quickly.

Jay pursed his lips as he shared an awkward look with Will who held a similar awkward expression at the topic of conversation. After a few silent moments, Jay cleared his throat before speaking up.

“Trust me when I say this is as awkward as it is for me than it is for you. Especially when Mom would’ve been better for this conversation, but we love you so I guess Will and I will have to do.” Jay laid it all out.

“Fair enough.” You nodded slowly.

“First of all, screw him. He doesn’t deserve you.” Will began which made Jay scoff, “damn right he doesn’t.” Jay added.

“Secondly, if you don’t feel like you’re ready he should be able to respect your feelings and your decision. But clearly, since he lacks functioning brain cells he was being an ass. Which no person should ever do to their significant other.” Will explained calmly after giving Jay a smack on the back of the head.

“Seriously?” Jay questioned as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Advice first, overprotective brother second.” Will narrowed his eyes.

“I can multitask.” Jay mumbled snarkily.

After both brothers offered you some much-needed and surprisingly helpful advice they squished you in between the two of them for a hug.

“Hey, even if you think you can’t talk to us about something I promise you we will do our best.” Jay pulled away to look at you.

“All right?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, I got it. Thanks.” You mumbled into Will’s arm, which he still had wrapped around you.

“Don’t worry, it’s our job to give you life advice.” Will rubbed up and down your arm comfortingly.

Who needs a mother figure when you have your annoying older brothers to help you navigate life?

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