#which is why i do think it fits kairi. how she would like things with sora to be (chikai) vs her insecurities (don't think twice)

[strayheartless]

Thinking about autistic Riku…

Riku who wasn’t diagnosed until after he became a keyblade master, and that was only because Merlin took one look at him and was like “oh my sweet summer child.”

15yr old Riku at the peak of his masking having actual fits of physical rage in his bedroom that he doesn’t really have an answer for other than “today was hard” that are actually meltdowns. We’re talking throwing things, braking shit, rocking and hair gripping. The whole nine yards.

Riku who struggles comprehending why his friends make plans and then don’t follow them through. Like building the raft. They said they were going to do it, so he was doing it. Why was he the only one taking it seriously?

Riku who’s grasp on humour and sarcasm is good up to a point. Meaning he knows how to do it himself, but if it’s directed at him it takes him a hot second to sus it out. He usually ends up giving actual explanations to people for their sarcasm, even though he’s registered what it was, and then gets told “I was joking”. Which fustrated the hell out of him because he KNEW that!!

Riku who has really bad light sensitivity and it’s part of the reason he keeps his hair long for such a long time. Sometimes he kind of wishes he could have the blindfold back.

Riku who despite purposefully keeping his hair long, spends nearly every day tying it back because it’s too much, then taking it down because that’s too much, then putting it back up and taking it back down until he seriously considers taking a pair of scissors to it.

Riku who doesn’t like to be touched unless he’s initiating the touch. Sora is the ONLY exception to that rule, but even then Riku has days when he moves out of Sora’s hold because it’s too much.

Riku who’s special interest is Gummi ships and is VERY happy when they go to see Cid and the RGRC because Cid is the only one that can keep up with his 1000mph rants about mobility blocks and rotation weaponry.

Riku who values silence, and no one can figure out how he deals with Sora’s constant stream of chatter, until he one day moves his hair back to show Mickey the earplugs in his ears. He felt guilty about it for a long time until Sora told him he already knew about the plugs and didn’t mind, he just like being with him.

Riku who likes to play with kairis hair but can’t abide having his own hair touched.

Riku who will usually eat anything but if you give him avocado he will have the biggest sensory ick moment you’ve ever seen. Same goes for mushrooms.

Riku who steadfastly refuses to sleep in fuzzy PJ’s because “no thanks I’d rather be flayed alive, it would be less stressful.”

Riku who, at aged 8, told kairi that if she put that scarf around his neck he would “absolutely start screaming” and then did when she insisted he’d catch cold. Scarfs are demon cloths.

Riku who would rather sit at the back of squalls office in the corner while the other man works, than sit in the science lab with everyone else because Squalls office is quiet and he likes that Squall says what he means.

Riku who ignored his own emotional, physical and sensory needs/wellbeing for months while looking for sora and ended up having a meltdown in front of Mickey and master YenSid.

Riku who now has an app on his Gummiphone that Cid, Squall, Even and Ienzo designed to help him build routine and regulate/track his emotional well-being.

He relies of the breathing exercises game a lot in Quadratum.

Riku who is the reason chip and dale created dark mode in phone settings because nobody could figure out why he barely used his phone until he admitted that it always felt like he was looking into the sun.

Riku who has keyblade related Stims, like tapping the flat of the blade with his nails or messing with the key chain when he’s stressed.

Riku who also has stims such as: flicking his tongue inside his mouth while he’s thinking; twirling strands of his hair incessantly; scrunching his nose; clicking his fingers when he’s distressed; tapping the toe of his boot against the opposite heel when he’s stood still; imperceptible swaying; holding his thumb knuckle gently between his teeth; soft popping noises with his mouth; tapping his palms with the tips of his fingers.

I have more but this is it for now.

#autistic riku #riku headcanon #autistic riku headcanon #KH riku #kingdom hearts #KH sora #radiant garden #rgrc

[theophagie]

Don't think twice/Chikai is a beautiful song but I really disagree with lots of people on its meaning, mainly because its two versions themselves really don't come together in harmony to me... Don't think twice's story sounds anything but happy or hopeful to me

#it gives desperation and fear. vs chikai's actual hopeful tone #''hey if you stop loving me don't tell me pls okay'' like girl you really live like this #which is why i do think it fits kairi. how she would like things with sora to be (chikai) vs her insecurities (don't think twice) #like it's still not a 100% fit. but i think that this is true all ways around no matter if you interpret the song and its two versions #to be about her or about sora and riku #mytext #video games #kingdom hearts

[eveningrainstorm]

i don’t care if the game seemingly tells us that sora showing up in melody of memory was him helping kairi from unreality until i get undeniable proof that it was actually him i will remain skeptical because the fact that kairi turned into him is So Fucking Weird

like! why! why not just have sora show up as a separate entity to help her? i guess they could make up some bs about quadratum rules or w/e but i can’t think of anything previously established in the series that would cause it. it’s not like it’s because sora doesn’t have his own physical form because it was literally in a world of memories. and we’ve had characters help other characters against threats within their heart before (ex. ddd) and it was never portrayed as one character transforming into the other?

and the idea of being your own person is so important to this series that it just seems bizarre that they’d treat kairi turning into someone else as a positive thing? like they generally treat kairi badly but surely this would be obviously against the message of kh as a whole? and if they just wanted to take away kairi’s moment and not let her do anything ever why not just have sora show up and save her? why have her turn into him?

especially given how the scene up to that point is so focused on kairi -- her past, her trauma, her self-doubt. how could kairi having to become a different person entirely in order to fight the personification of her fears and past failures possibly be a good thing?

and kh has had instances of characters turning into/taking the appearance of another character multiple times before and it’s generally 1) important and 2) not a good thing so the idea that it would just be a good thing here with no deeper meaning behind it is really weird to me. like you expect me to see kairi transform into sora and just think “oh sora’s helping her :)” and not be even a little reminded of, y’know, the scene where xion turned into sora, which was a way of showing how she was losing her identity and control over her life? like obviously this is a different situation but the fact is that the connotations of kairi turning into sora are Not Positive

but if it wasn’t the actual sora and was instead a projection created from kairi’s memories then it actually can make sense and it makes the whole scene so much more interesting because that would give us so much insight into kairi’s mental state and how she views herself, because it shows how she doesn’t believe in her own abilities and thinks she needs to be someone else, like sora, in order to be strong, and it fits so well with other moments of characterization she’s gotten and the kind of character arc we’ve been shown getting set up for her.

and it’s not like it’s really been proven that that was the actual sora? kairi and the other characters seem to think so, but our only real source on that is memory-xehanort, who i wouldn’t consider all that reliable seeing as he’s made from kairi’s memories and therefore is unlikely to know anything she doesn’t know at least subconsciously. plus it’s pretty common in kingdom hearts for characters to assume or believe things and then later be proven wrong.

in any case i firmly believe that whether that scene was actually good or not rests entirely on how sora’s appearance was meant to be interpreted. because there’s a lot of good stuff in the rest of the scene (insight into kairi’s self-doubt! kairi getting to be angry! finally getting more about kairi’s backstory!) but honestly if all it amounted to in the end was just “sora possesses kairi to fight her inner demons for her :)” then that just negates all the positives of it for me

#sorry if this doesn't make sense it's late and i got 3 hours of sleep last night #i just have Opinions okay #and i suddenly got the urge to rant about them #i'd like to talk more about my thoughts on this scene as a whole because i do think there's a lot that can be taken from it #in regards to kairi's current emotional state and what she's struggling with #along with what her future character arc could be #i really hope i'm right about her turning into sora being an intentionally bad thing meant to show us her self-doubt #like am i super confident given how she's been treated up until now? no #but i want to believe it #and it's also just. the only way the scene makes sense to me #kingdom hearts #my posts

[manygalaxiesinone]

If Kingdom Hearts Characters had Arcana

((Well, you guys asked for it and here it is. Kingdom Hearts characters represented by the Tarot Arcana. As usual before we begin, keep in mind that this is my own personal take on the idea, if you feel differently about my opinions, feel free to let me know and we can see if we can discuss. Also, there WILL be spoilers across the various Kingdom Hearts games, so if you haven't played any of them yet, click off the post until you catch up. Considering the amount of Kingdom Hearts characters are in the series as a whole, I'll try to keep things simple and only cover their respective original characters, meaning no Disney characters like Mickey, Donald, or Goofy, and no Final Fantasy characters like Squall, Cloud, or Cid. Finally, don't expect me to cover everyone because we'll be here forever, I apologize, but this what happens when you lack time. With all that out of the way, let's get started.

The Destiny Island trio, Sora, Riku, and Kairi, are pretty easy to figure out. Starting off with Sora, it should come to no surprise that he gets the Fool Arcana. In fact, it would be a challenge to find any other video game protagonist outside of SMT that would be better suited for this Arcana than Sora from Kingdom Hearts. He's the main character, his power literally comes from the bonds he forges with other people, he's naive, he's literally the perfect candidate. Riku would definitely be the Magician. Not only does he play the role of best friend, but he also has the unique talent of balancing both light and darkness without creating a nobody. Yes, he was tricked into getting those dark powers, but he did learn how to control them and use it for good, which makes him such a valuable asset to the team. And you already know Kairi gets the Lovers Arcana. Sadly, it's not really her fault honestly. She's desperately trying to get involved and stay close to Sora and Riku, especially Sora. That's why she started training and made sure to share some paopu with Sora before the Keyblade War just in case. It's just that current circumstances just keep working against her favor, forcing them to separate for one reason or another (thanks Nomura).

Now here's where things start to get a little interesting as I go into characters that fit different positions of the Arcana.

Starting with Vanitas, who would be a Reverse Fool, otherwise known as the Jester Arcana. This position represents an unfinished side of oneself. A part of you that's kept in the shadows. Granted, he's literally made up of Ventus's Darkness and not Sora's but I don't think there's a more apt description of him.

Roxas on the other hand, would be the Fool Arcana in the Advise position. This position represents the need to open up and become more spontaneous, and I think we can agree that Roxas wasn't all that sociable until Axel and Xion came along. For the most part, he was just curious about everything around him and didn't have much of a strong reaction until later on. You could say that him befriending Axel and Xion is what led to him having a heart.

Speaking of Xion, she would be the Lovers Arcana in the Advise position. This position represents the need of making the wisest decision after considering your long term interests. While you won't be judged for said decision, you do have to be warry of discontent depending on what you go with. I think we know where this is going. Yeah, Xion's decision to have Roxas off her so she can no longer be used by the Organization despite her wanting to stay with him and Axel is a wise decision, but to say Roxas was discontent on that was an understatement. Also, the reason I'm giving her a position of the Lovers Arcana instead of Fool even though she's made up of Sora's memories, most of those memories used to make her was that of Kairi, which is why she looks like she does to most people.

Namine on the other hand, is the Reverse Lovers. This position symbolizes having a vested interest in opposition which cannot be resolved until one owns up to it. Now granted it, this is mainly due to her being captured by members of the Organization, but I think her replacing Kairi in Sora's memories fits the bill here. After all, she did point out when they met that even before she captured by them, she was rather lonely and wanted to be a part of Sora's life after looking into the memories he has with everyone.

Axel/Lea would get the Sun Arcana. Not only is he a fire based fighter, so much so that he can absorb fire to heal himself, but keep in mind, he was the first person in the organization to start befriending Roxas. While he does make some actions he regrets including lying to Roxas and kidnapping Kairi, he does try to make up for it and keep his head held high.

Unsurprisingly, Saix/Isa is the Moon Arcana. Not only is he more powerful under some form of moonlight like a werewolf, but remember what this Arcana represents, insecurities. Saix pretty much targeted Roxas and Xion because he was jealous of them and started having doubts about his friendship with Lea. They joined the organization as a plan to use them, but at some point, Saix began to worry if Lea forgot about it or no longer cared.

Sadly, I'm going to have to give Ventus the Tower Arcana. Pretty fucked up, but that's exactly why. Ventus literally shattered his own heart in order to stop Vanitas and prevent Xehanort from getting the "X"-Blade. This resulted in him resting inside of Sora for years until Kingdom Hearts 3, which was one of the steps that allowed Sora to become a keyblade user to begin with.

Terra easily gets the Justice Arcana. Yeah, quite a few actions had consequences alright. Being too determined to win his fight against Aqua? Fail the keyblade Master exam and getting Xehanort's attention. Confronting Eraqus about Ventus's treatment? Watch him die right in front of you after you weaken him. Go after Xehanort for revenge? Y-You get the idea.

Aqua would probably get the Priestess. After all, you have to have good instincts to survive in the Realm of Darkness for over 10 years on your own. Not to mention, she is pretty much the one trying to clean up everyone's messes as much as possible until she got trapped in the dark realm, including making sure to hide Ventus's physical body somewhere safe until Sora was ready to reunite him in Kingdom Hearts 3. And now that the trios and Namine have been covered, let's look over characters I think might fit other Arcana the best.

Not giving Luxord the Wheel of Fortune Arcana would be an insult to his character. Even his method of fighting using cards and dice is based around gambling. He fully accepts whatever hand he has been dealt with, whether good or bad, and never backs down from a good wager. As much as a lackluster I find Kingdom Hearts 3, I have to admit, Luxord did get an upgrade in the game.

Eraqus would probably be the Hierophant mainly due to his role as a teacher to Aqua and Terra. He is pretty by the books as shown in Birth by Sleep and wants to make sure his students are one the right path of light, which is probably why he reacted the way he did toward Terra after he saw him using darkness in his exam.

As much as I want to get Xehanort the Judgement Arcana with him being the main villain of the series up until Kingdom Hearts 3, I think Hanged Man might actually be more suited for him. We are talking about someone who won't hesitate to sacrifice anything he needed to obtain a Keyblade, including his own best friend, body, and students. If he realizes you gotta go, he'll make you leave.

Xehanort's Heartless would be the Hanged Man in the Advised position. This position symbolizes the need to give up the illusion of control and to realize that you have been bested, which pretty much sums up his relationship with Riku post Kingdom Hearts 1. Ever since Chain of Memories, Xehanort's Heartless was constantly plotting on Riku to fully succumb to darkness again, allowing him to take control, only for Riku to find a balanced middle ground and stay on that path. While he technically succumbs in a way during his fight against Roxas at the end of 358/2, he only had his body altered to look like Xehanort's Heartless temporarily while his mind was fully in control.

This puts his nobody, Xemnas, in the Reversed Hanged Man Arcana position, which represents the realization that your sacrifices are ultimately pointless. Anyone who saw his death scene in Kingdom Hearts 3 knows exactly what I'm talking about. Constantly tossing aside his own comrades for his personal gain to gain a heart, only to finally have one and be filled with nothing but pain and regret.

I feel like Hayner would be the Chariot Arcana as he's the most active of his group even if you include Roxas. He may not be excited about doing homework, but he's usually the one with a plan of action and doesn't back down when it's time to square up even if there's a disadvantage.

Pence gets the Temperance Arcana with ease. He's pretty easy going and his line of "enjoying life's simple pleasures" still rings in my head to this day and I haven't played Kingdom Hearts 2 in quite a few years. I can also hear arguments for Demyx getting this Arcana as well.

I can't really think of an Arcana that would completely suit Olette, but if I have to choose, it would probably be the Empress Arcana. This is mainly due to her being the most responsible member of the group as she's the main one trying to get the summer homework finished as soon as possible, and while she doesn't exactly have a romantic interest as far as I can tell, she does consider Sora and Kairi's story romantic.

This might be a stretch, but I'm giving Ansem the Wise the Emperor Arcana. He was technically the ruler of Radiant Garden before it was overtaken by Heartless and while he can be kind, he can also be authoritative, leading to him doing actions he regrets, most notably his treatment of Roxas and Namine during Sora's memory recovery.

Finally, I'm giving Luxu/Xigbar the Star in the Reversed position, though it maybe upright now if the ending of Kingdom Hearts 3 is anything to go by. This position represents one temporally alienating their brilliance and usefulness, sometimes even forgetting them. While he never actually forgot, Xigbar has been purposely playing second banana to Xehanort until the Keyblade War, when in reality, he's doing what he was instructed by the Master of Masters.

And that's where I'm going to leave things this time. If you have ideas for any characters I haven't covered or have some opinions with anyone I DID cover, feel free to let me know.))

#makai kingdom #tarot arcana #shin megami tensei

[daylighteclipsed]

I’m 20 years late, but I’m getting into KH and I have a lot of Thoughts, especially on how the story is, at its core, about growing up.

Beginning with Kairi saying, “Riku’s changed,” and then asking Sora to never change, joking that they should take the raft, just the two of them, because Riku is a reminder that things are changing, and Kairi doesn’t like that. She doesn’t want things to change. She’s not really curious about finding her hometown or meeting her parents or figuring out how she landed on Destiny Islands. She’s not as excited to see other worlds as Riku and Sora are but rather thinks the idea is funny. (And let’s be honest, a raft would not get them far.) She humors them. She’d rather play around than work on the raft, just, you know, be a kid. She doesn’t want to grow up. And she gets what she wants in a brutal way, when her heart is stolen from her body, and she (more or less) dies, or falls into a sleep like death. You can live in the past through dreams. You don’t age if you’re dead.

Riku, on the other hand, can’t wait to get off the islands. He questions why they ended up on this world out of all the others, and he’s more interested in working on the raft than playing. Presumably, he’s recently become more dedicated to leaving, which is the “change” Kairi refers to that makes her uncomfortable. “You’ve been thinking a lot lately, haven’t you?” Riku has no qualms about leaving Destiny Islands behind forever if need be, compared to Kairi who wants the comfort of knowing she can always come back. He doesn’t fear the unknown. He doesn’t fear the dark. He wants life to change. He wants to grow up… for the most part. Because he gets what he wants, to see other worlds, at the cost of his friends. And that sucks. Growing up sucks without people you can rely on. And when he finds his friends again… Kairi is “dead” and Sora has made new friends.

And you have to understand that Riku feels excluded prior to this. Kairi’s been spending more time with Sora because she’s into him and, again, she’s not interested in growing up like Riku is. And — maybe this is just my interpretation — but in addition to feeling left out of the group, I think Riku is jealous that Sora specifically isn’t spending as much time with him as he used to. Because they’ve been best friends much longer, and they’ve been talking about exploring other worlds together since they were kids, that Sora moving kind of away from that… stings. I think Sora hesitating to take Riku’s hand (“Where’s Kairi?”), to trust him, go with him, (“She’s coming with us.”) also stings.

So when Riku finds that Sora has made new friends and seems completely unconcerned about Riku and Kairi — which could not be farther from the truth, but Riku is being manipulated by Maleficent here — Riku is upset. Not only that, but Riku is used to Sora looking to him and relying on him as the oldest that I think to see Sora handling himself, even leading a team of his own, and then keeping up with Riku in battle (when the beginning of the game establishes that Sora is out of his league against Riku and usually loses their competitions), is jarring. It’s like Sora doesn’t need him anymore. Riku is, understandably, heartbroken.

And who growing up hasn’t felt like they were losing their best friend or weren’t their best friend’s best friend anymore? Who hasn’t experienced that kind of heartbreak? Riku doesn’t know… where he fits in Sora’s life anymore. If he still has a place there. If he’s even wanted there. Sora is changing, meeting new people, shouldering new responsibilities. And that’s another part of growing up… like getting a job or joining a team. Sometimes that pulls you away from your longtime friends, because you don’t hang out with them as much as you used to. After years of doing everything together, everyone starts heading in different directions, figuring out who they are and what they want…

Dynamics change as people change and grow older, and we have to accept that, adjust to that. Sometimes friendships don’t last. They break. They fade. But I think one of the messages of Kingdom Hearts is that growing up doesn’t have to mean forgetting your old friends. And maybe it’s just me, but playing this game as an adult and interacting with all these classic Disney characters… it does feel like visiting old friends. I imagine this story means different things to kids vs adults. I digress.

As mature as he likes to act, Riku proves he still has a lot of growing up to do when he chooses to lash out instead of talk about his feelings with Sora. Like Kairi, Riku is resisting change. But to change is to be alive. Sora surpasses Riku because he grows while Riku doesn’t. When we cling to the past, when we fail to grow, the universe pushes us (or punishes us) one way or another. Kairi loses her heart. Riku loses his body. Sora…

Speaking of Sora — I haven’t talked much about him yet. Sora is, initially, the happy medium between Kairi and Riku. He’s excited at the prospect of seeing other worlds, and he cares about the raft. (It’s the reason he runs out into the storm at the beginning, after all.) But he’s not in a rush to finish it. He’d rather take a nap on the beach, soak up the sun, leave the hard work to someone else (Riku)… Sora’s content. Unafraid of the future but not racing to get there. Growing up is a non-issue… as long as he has his friends by his side.

So, naturally, they’re snatched from him, and his world turns upside down. And while he obviously matures over the course of the game(s), Sora also, at the same time, kind of… skids to a stop, I guess, without Kairi and Riku. His life, his goals, his future, are all on hold until he finds them. And yeah, most people in his position would be hellbent on finding their friends/family, but it’s like none of that other stuff matters unless he finds them.

Which fits his “my friends are my power” philosophy. The downside of relying on other people for strength (and direction and purpose and—) is that you’re a little lost, to say the least, if you lose them. What — who — is Sora without his connections to others? Well… that warrants its own post, after I’ve finished all the games. But I will say that part of growing up is deciding that you have worth irrespective of other people. It’s an interesting conflict for a character like Sora who is literally made up of other hearts (quite similar to the enigmatic Kingdom Hearts itself), in addition to his own heart. Maybe the real Kingdom Hearts was the friends we made along the way.

Sora doesn’t want to move forward if it means leaving Kairi or Riku behind. And he doesn’t, not really. He spends the game(s) chasing his friends. Accepting they could be (or are) gone is never an option. He stabs himself in the heart, basically kills himself, to free Kairi’s heart from his body, becoming a Heartless and unintentionally creating a Nobody, Roxas (and Namine? I think?). Presumably, he’s only saved because Kairi’s a Princess of Heart. And apparently there are lingering effects, like Anti Form…

I guess this choice contrasts Riku’s decision, since Riku hurt other people to save Kairi and Sora hurt himself… But Riku also hurt himself by relying on the darkness. And the older I get, the less I view selflessness to the point of self-destruction as noble. Sora’s choice is framed as noble, but it can’t be a coincidence that both of these decisions result in both boys (temporarily) being consumed by darkness…

I’m not saying Sora shouldn’t have sacrificed himself to save Kairi... I don’t know how anyone could live with knowing their friend’s heart/soul is trapped inside of them… but it also feels like a metaphor, of how people live on inside of us, through memories and feelings, beliefs and idiosyncrasies we adopt from them. We are shaped by the people we love, and they are always with us. It’s like e.e. cummings’ “I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)” taken literally… And loss is part of life. It’s another form of change. The price we pay for love.

Sometimes it takes more strength to let go than it does to hold on. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is Sora’s biggest conflict in the series. Learning how to cut his losses and carry on. Or maybe, going hand-in-hand with that, learning to value himself because of himself, not all the hearts connected to him. What good is giving others love and being loved in return if you don’t show yourself the same love and care?

[I adore them, but I do think Donald and Goofy are somewhat to blame for the “Stepford Smiler” Sora becomes by KH2, since any time he’s sad in KH1 they tell him, “No frowning! No sad faces! Our ship runs on smiles!” They mean well, but… of course Sora is gonna start covering his negative slip ups with jokes… of course he’s gonna start seeing these moments of depression as ‘slip ups’… of course he’s not gonna be honest with them or anyone, for that matter, about how bad he feels.]

Riku’s arc seems to be about self-love, in a different way (and he’s clearly the most familiar with inner darkness out of the main cast). So maybe Riku can help Sora with that. At any rate, I’m excited to see how the rest of the story plays out for these characters! I’ve been spoiled a bit, so I know Kairi and Riku overcome their inner conflicts and “grow up,” becoming a Keyblade Wielder and Keyblade Master, respectively. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

#but growing up’s never easy #kingdom hearts #sora #riku #kairi #they don’t have last names huh #i would apologize for the length of this post but i don’t regret it I’ve been dying to talk about this series

[last-flight-of-fancy]

okay here we go, Vanitas theory time because I can’t stop thinking about it. As with any theory I am fully aware and prepared for this to be completely debunked, but hey, theorizing is fun and I think it’s a neat idea.

Which I’m gonna put under a cut bc I like to talk about my son and his potential a lot.

Before I jump headfirst into it I do want to say that this entire theory rests entirely on the assumption that the heart hotel isn’t quite empty yet, and that Vanitas is still quietly hiding out in Sora’s heart.

Personally, I am pretty confident in this assumption, but as it is not yet explicitely confirmed I do feel it necessary to put the disclaimer. It’s KH, there’s no telling what wild twists will throw everything we know into entirely new contexts.

In the interest of clarity I’ll do a brief overview of this idea for those who may not know. We see in KH that when a person dies goes sparkly glitter into another persons arms they tend to take up residence in that persons heart, like a safety net. We’ve seen this a bunch of times over the course of the series; Xion to Roxas, Eraqus to Terra, Kairi to Sora.

There’s even instances of it happening without any physical contact to speak of; Ven to Sora, Repliku to Riku... and i hesitate to add this one but honestly I suspect this happened with Strelitzia to Lauriam too. No confirmation on that tho, just a suspicion.

And then there’s of course the outliers, with Roxas to Sora not really fitting either category due to DiZ meddling, and the most curious one to me personally- Sora to Kairi, which should have happened but... didn’t.

(as with any hypothesis, it is important to consider points against your theory too, and this instance drives me nuts every time i think about it. WHY.)

The last we see of Vanitas in BBS is him vanishing into the glowing lights and into Ven’s heart station.

(listen I could talk about this scene all fucking day okay. Even Repliku vanished with dark whisps, but Vanitas glows just like all the other light aligned characters. when he hits the bottom the station lights up and reveals itself to be Ven’s. I have thoughts about this too but that is not this essay.)

Okay so bviously that’s all pretty straightforward, but surely he would have left with Ven too, right? When Ven was returned to his body?

Not necessarily.

The closest example to this I think would be Roxas and Xion; Xion was released first, despite being in theory two layers deep in Sora’s heart (as she was in Roxas’ heart when Roxas joined with Sora). Roxas was freed shortly thereafter, but I do think this does point to a heart within a heart within a heart is less a babushka doll of hearts and more... maybe an incomplete web, where the hearts may connect to each other, but they are far more connected to the center point (which here is Sora).

I also think it’s important that the narrative (specifically Remind) went out of it’s way to make it clear that the Vanitas in KH3 is from the past, drawn forward through time like several other members. I’ve seen people be angry about this as it’s also brought up at one point that Monsters Inc had enough negative energy to reform Vanitas all on it’s own, and well. Doesn’t that just seem sort of pointless?

So. Why point out there was an easier way to do what they did? I don’t think they would unless there was a reason they couldn’t. If current Vanitas is still hiding within Sora, he’s essentially unavailable to Xehanort. As a result he has to turn to other means by pulling a past version instead.

(there is also vaguely tangential evidence in things like Rage Form. Though I think this is equally likely to be only reflective of Sora’s declining mental state and repression, I’m noting it here anyway)

All that said I’m sure you’re wondering how this relates to my theory. It’s crucial honestly, for a couple different reasons.

Now, when it comes to KH there’s no real way to predict specifics. It is a series that adores twists and turns and red herrings, each one throwing previous revelations into whole new lights. It’s one of the reasons I love the series, so I’m going to try and keep my strokes here as broad as possible to avoid hinging everything on what could be an unfounded assumption.

Probably will still happen but hey, I’m gonna give it my best shot ;P

So my theory is this: Assuming the above is all true, Vanitas is perfectly positioned to be a critical part of how Sora and Riku get back home from Quadratum.

(and yes, I know FGM quips that if Riku runs into trouble he should come straight back home, but to me it felt like a light hearted joke, kinda as if to say ‘I know we can’t come with, but we’ve still got your back’. After the sheer amount of hoops they have to jump through to get Riku there, it would feel a little strange if he could now just jump back and forth at will. However, like with many things this is an assumption. We won’t know for sure until the next game, so for now I’m rolling with what I can see and interpret)

Kairi’s Memories, NS’s connection to the other world, Riku’s Dreams. All needed to make the jump.

Vanitas has the memories of Daybreak, even if a bit muddled and confused, he has the connection to Ven... Honestly that just leaves the dreams. (His only goal has been to feel whole, pain free. Could that be attained in the other reality? oops I’m slipping into blatant speculation again BUT STILL)

On a purely plot related level his connection to Ven, while antagonistic at best, could certainly serve the same function that the Nameless Star did in being the connection Riku needed to enter Quadratum. Whether they like it or not and even though they almost definitely can’t merge back into one person anymore, that connection remains.

But I have more than just plot reasons for this theory- Kingdom Hearts is a series that runs on emotion after all. It’s greatest strength is in it’s characters, their internal struggles, and how real those emotions feel and are felt. Even when (and perhaps especially when) those emotions are repeatedly denied by either the textual narrative or other characters.

Which is why I want to talk about how this could possibly go if indeed Vanitas is there with Sora, between their characters and what that could mean for them.

Obviously like I said earlier I can’t make any hard assumptions, and there’s no telling how exactly Vanitas will be reintroduced; an internal voice to Sora like Ven was in most of KH3? Something Sora can see and feel? Are they both within Yozora’s heart (as is the current theory) the whole time or do they transition elsewhere at some point? Something else entirely?

Regardless of the specifics it IS the perfect time for us to get that Vanitas Redemption Arc we’ve been begging for and that he’s deserved for so long.

(if you are somehow not on the Vanitas; Future Good Boy train and made it this far, I encourage you to read all the Vanitas centered excerpts from the novels and also check out the Hero’s and Heroine’s Medley from the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra, composed by the series musical genius Yoko Shimomura (who frequently places musical nods and hints in the soundtrack), which at the very tail end features Vanitas’ theme. The former highlights how Vanitas is a victim shaped by pain, circumstance, and lies, the latter hinting quite strongly at his potentional to be a force for good as far as I’m concerned)

https://remember-kingdom-hearts.tumblr.com/post/28798364782/bonus-translation-of-the-novel-chapter-dark no seriously if this bit of the novel doesn’t make you feel for Vanitas I dont know what will.

https://keijitranslates.tumblr.com/post/186619714655/vanitas-monologue-kh3-novel Vanitas’ kh3 monologue, which imo highlights how even he doesn’t really know what’s going on with him. His knowledge is both more than everyone else while also at the same time warped by manipulation and lies, making it confused and uncertain at best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9VZ6XPFTlA The medley. Also it’s KH music and thus amazing. You all know this.

Not only that but he’s also in a perfect position to challenge Sora as well, assuming they get to talk to each other. If you know Violet Howler’s essays on KH and the Heroine’s journey (which I ADORE please watch them or read the doc if you have the time, they’re phenomenal), you may now be thinking about how he’s pointed out that Yozora is likely in the position of psychopomp to Sora’s descent. And I’m not disagreeing with this! We don’t really know yet what exactly Yozora’s deal is, but I do think Vanitas could serve as auxillery to this, forcing Sora to confront both his own Darkness and Darkness as not being wholly evil in general.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h5l2II-JvkNE5en3B7emErk5O8QKB5p-LVDlmZFS_qw/ Violet Howler’s essay doc on the Heroine’s Journey

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPOVJTNgLjMz9Y0NBfFkSZQ The ongoing Video Essay’s on the same subject

(and if you would like some pure fantasy speculation here, I like to imagine this being done through poking at Sora’s own natural empathy. “You still hate the darkness. You can say you don’t but I’m not stupid. You reject the dark, you shrink away from your own shadows. You say I can be more than just bad, but I am always going to be made of darkness, so which is it, Sora? Because it can’t be both.”)

(also also, and i’m sorry for all these asides, but given all this I kind of think Yozora is going to be integral to making Sora realise his big fat gay Riku Feelings, while Vanitas is going to be more about making him realise that he still holds a number of unacknowledged biases)

Okay, so this is about as far as I got on my first brainstorm session on this theory, but when I came back to it later I realised there’s another part to this that I hadn’t considered yet, which handily solved the one thing I felt was missing from all this.

The past.

And it really did bug me until I figured out what it was, bc if you’re not considering all the pieces then you’ve probably missed something. Sure we (probably) get those delicious character arcs, but it left a lot of history sort of dangling in the wind, unresolved and unacknowledged. Stuff like Ven/Vani’s history in Daybreak, as Union leaders, their lost friends and just fucktons of trauma. Especially when it is implied in the novels that unlike Ven, Vanitas does remember at least a little bit of those Union days, it doesn’t feel right to never get any resolution on that.

And then I remembered that we’ve got a couple of other plots I’d forgotten about; namely with MoM in Qaudratum and the Foretellers in the regular verse. Both with their own ties to Daybreak, even if not directly to Ven, and both possibly heralding long awaited answers and resolutions to the khux storyline.

How exactly? Who knows, but the ties are certainly there and available. I fully expect either a series of cutscene’s or (hey I can dream) a whole game centered around the foreteller business, which I can only assume will involve Ven and the other former khux kids eventually. Something similar could happen with MoM and Vanitas. Granted this is drifting into speculation again, but hey, I see what I see.

All of this and then when all is said and done, the day is won and Sora and Riku have finally talked properly and done a big kiss of true love, Nameless Star is returned to her proper place... There’s our boys still trapped in Quadratum. I kind of expect this to be a sort of... bigger version of the Dark Margin scene at the end of KH2 honestly. The sentiment that they’ll be okay as long as they’re together, and happy at least for that, even if it means not being able to go home.

Am I saying Vanitas could be that letter in a bottle that bumped into their feet on the sands of the dark shore after an undisclosed amount of time? Yes, yes I am. Him and Ven both, with the full possibility that Kairi herself may end up involved as well, considering she has her own yet unexplored mysteries and is now apprenticing under Aqua, thus in close proximity to Ven for the foreseeable future.

But as always with KH, we’ll see how it goes. It’s always possible it will do something else entirely and I’ll be just as satisfied. I just needed to show you all my brain worms XD

#i also think that.. vanitas might choose to stay in quadratum #where he's not just a broken piece of ven. he's not just darkness. the rules are different there #where no one has ever heard the name or seen the face of Sora Kingdom Hearts #idk i just been thinking about it #ANYWAY THATS MY SILLY LITTLE THEORY THANK YOU FOR READING IT #stop talking to yourself flight #kingdom hearts #long post #am i completely off base? Probably! #i just think it's neat

[dahniwitchoflight]

KHUX - Where’d they all go?

Alright so, first!

Who and what and where did everyone end up?

Maleficient: Took a pod to a specific point in the future, achieved this by also using her pet crow to force memories of her present self by having it fly her cloak to the great fairies and make them remember her

Ephemer: Brain from outside manages to send two pods back into the data Daybreak Town to rescue Ephemer and Skuld, (with the last Pod still in the Data meant for the Player, so all three could escape) Pops out of the pod to see the destroyed real Daybreak Town, goes back in with Skuld to escape the dying worldline along with the others, Gets flung forward in time just a tad from his own perspective to become the Founder of Scala Ad Caelum from the ruins of the destroyed Daybreak Town (Still doesn’t answer how or why he popped out in KH3 to help, but eh, guess that’s a question for Dark Road?)

Lauriam: Hops into one of three Pods in the real Daybreak Town to escape, Gets flung to present KH Times in a flower field from Snow White’s world, most likely proceeds to become a nobody some time later

Elrena: Hops into one of three Pods in the real Daybreak Town to escape, Gets flung to roughly the same time and place as Lauriam, but on the stormy mountain from the Witch’s area of Snow White’s world,  most likely proceeds to become a nobody some time later

Ventus: Hops into one of three Pods in the real Daybreak Town to escape, Ends up in the keyblade graveyard, roughly a few years before BBS and is found by Old Xehanort starting that story

Player: Tricks Ephemer into sealing them and the 4 darknesses into a piece of the Data Daybreak Town by pretending to have fallen to darkness, ends up dying from the 4 Darknesses, sacrificing themselves to save Ephemer and Skuld. In the realm between Death and Sleep, their dying heart then reincarnates eventually into a new young Heart (as they sometimes do), into that of newborn Young Xehanort, who is from Scala Ad Caelum in the time of Dark Road-ish, gets sent to Destiny Island’s by a mysterious old man who then dies, and then Young Xehanort begins his journey in Dark Road

Strelitzia: Her apparent Nobody gets sent to the future into the real world by Luxu, but it’s unknown where or when she ends up, last seen walking off in a white version of the Nobody Coat  (I suppose this is another question Dark Road will likely answer?)

Skuld: Brain from outside manages to send two pods back into the data daybreak town to rescue Emphemer and Skuld, Pops out of the pod to see the destroyed real Daybreak Town, goes back in with Ephemer to escape the dying worldline along with the others, We don’t find out her whereabouts, but the remaining theory is that she is Subject X from BBS, Lea and Isa’s friend with amnesia (I suppose this is another question Dark Road will likely answer?)

Rest of the Sleeping Dandelions/Fallen Keyblade Wielders: As their hearts fall asleep, the Chirithy that is bound to their hearts also takes on a sleeping form and become Dream Eaters, Spirit shaped by their wielders Dreams in order to protect them

Luxu: Last seen dragging along the box, holding the keyblade, and lifting up his hood to reveal that he looks exactly like Brain just without the hat

Brain: Gets flung forward roughly to the time of Dark Road-ish, last seen in Scala Ad Caelum that has been rebuilt for a while now by Ephemer the founder from a long time ago, just without his signature hat, and due to his conversation with a figure named Sigurd (who gives him his hat back), has likely fallen roughly into the times of KH Dark Road, and is perhaps a closer ancestor to Eraqus than first thought! maybe even a grandpa or great-grandpa

now the fun thing about Luxu and Brain and why they might look the same, cuz there’s a few options:

Is that before their final scenes, the 2nd last scene Luxu and Brain had was with eachother, right after Brain sent everyone on their merry way, Luxu pops up and says hey watcha doing, and Brain says he wants to stay behind to help free all the sleeping keyblade wielders, even if it takes him the rest of his life, and Luxu comments at him that it’d be a shame for him to waste his life like that or something to the effect before a fade to black

and the thing is, we don’t get to see their individual arrangements for how Both Luxu and Brain escape to the worldline along with the others. We just know that for sure he doesn’t stay and wake up the wielders, because all of their chirithy’s turn into the dream eaters. (And also that apparently he left his hat behind before he left as he picks it up in Scala when Sigurd gives it back to him)

And since there’s only one seemingly possible pod left to take, the one from the data world left for the Player (who never took it and instead dies), theres seem to be only one spot left on the ride out, and with Luxu’s body snatching tendencies, it seems to suggest that Luxu overtook Brain’s Heart and Body, grabbed the last pod from the data and adios’d

BUT the key here is in their apparent attitudes that we know this is likely not the case, and also the Hat, not only does it make it obviously clear who is who, the logistics of the Hat make it clear as well

In both cases, the boy who ends up in the graveyard with the box and the key, and the boy who appears in Scala, neither of them have Brain’s hat

But Brain IS last seen with his hat

If Luxu had overtaken Brain, there would be no reason for him to discard the hat, since the entire point of the body snatching is to be that person

Then, when Brain wakes up in Scala, Sigurd comes along and presents the hat saying “We’ve been waiting for you.” and Brain takes it back

Brain would neither remove his hat, nor would Luxu remove it if he had overtaken Brain

Instead, the likelier option is that Luxu forcibly put Brain into a pod and sent him to the future, saying it would be a shame if Brain were to die while Daybreak Town fell to darkness, because that’s what would’ve happened if Brain tried to stay behind

Where does that Leave Luxu though? How does he get back?

Well back in the data daybreak town, there are actually two Pods left, one meant for the Player who never used it, which Brain likely ended up taking, and a Destroyed Pod that got written off since who would know how to fix it?

Oh, Luxu would! And we know he does, because he specifically taunts Brain with that knowledge, asking him if he even knows how their supposed to work, And wouldn’t ya know, it’s in the Data Daybreak Town, meaning Luxu wouldn’t have even need to physically fix it, he could have easily reprogrammed it to be fixed from the computer side

So, two people, two pods, Luxu sends Brain on his merry way, in the scuffle because Brain would have resisted, the hat might’ve been removed, and Luxu could have easily set it up so that the hat could be preserved and in the future they would know to look and wait for Brain to appear

The only mystery remains then is why does Luxu looks like Brain?

appearances are tricky things in the KH series as well all know, and Luxu’s face has been hidden all this time, likely because his face would have been a spoiler or potentially confusing had it been shown from the beginning of KHX, not KHUX even

The one hint we have, is that in the Back Cover cinematic, which takes places during KHX, If you look closely, apparently you can see a shaggy lock of hair under his hood that matches Brain’s

which means Luxu has probably looked liked Brain all along from the start!

And before getting into the crazier reasons of why someone would look like someone else in the KH series (look at you Ventus/Roxas, Sora/Vanitas, Kairi/Namine/Xion) 

the one that makes the most sense to me personally, consideriong this fact, is that Luxu is a Replica of some sort, of Brain, made by the Master of Masters to fulfill a specific purpose for him, and considering Luxu’s purpose was easily the most important of MoM’s plans, and with how in his early appearances Luxu appears very withdrawn, shy, or dependant on MoM but also separate in some way from the rest of the 5 and with how we know that MoM has no qualms creating living things to do his bidding like the Chirithy’s, we know he’s aware of the replica technology at the very least since the pod system appears to be a workaround for this very issue of needing a medium for the flesh at the appropriate time and place

I think him being a replica with Brain’s appearance makes the most sense, Brain was certainly already on MoM’s radar as a special keyblade wielder, since he was one of the ones MoM chose to be a new union leader, and the way that Luxu’s appearance has always been hidden, how he always wore the black coat which in KH3 seems to be confirmed as what a “default” Replica body appears in when not in use, as we see when Riku Replica shunts out evil Repliku to have the body for Namine, it appears as a doll covered in the black coat

To me, I think it’s fitting, and I think that Luxu being comfortable with shunting from body to body and switching between forms is also part of that, his original form is a replica made to mimic another person, so why wouldn’t he continue that trend? Moving his heart from vessel to vessel, never getting attached to the flesh or identity itself? 

So yeah, I believe that Luxu taking over Brain is a red herring that KHUX ending presents, but I believe it will ultimately not be the case, and the rest of Dark Road/Verum Rex will go further into the reason why that is, with Luxu being a Replica of Brain from the very start coming out on top as the most likely series of events

#KH #KHUX #BRAIN #LUXU #part where'd they all go and part luxu brain theory

[mimiplaysgames]

Terraqua Week Day 1 (Weak Spot)

Summary: We all have to make peace with the past. (In which Terra returns in Xemnas’s body and I scream SIZE DIFFERENCE.) || Word Count: 8,319

Read on AO3

A/N: AAAAAHHHH I’m so excited that we’re doing a whole other @terraquaweek !! I have to apologize ahead of time, my fics this year are super long and super packed, but I’m pretty proud of this collection and I can’t wait for y’all to read! I can’t wait to hear what you think! <3

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Time Takes You For Granted

Terra looks so different. 

No matter—Aqua has to fight. She can’t hold back when he summons red sabers of light from his palms, can’t falter when he hammers them against the staff of her Keyblade, can’t blink when canyon dust is kicked into her eyes, can’t be fooled by his face because this man is not Terra and couldn’t ever pretend to be.

He opens his arms to conjure a fatal blow—but he underestimates her speed. She’s grown up fighting large men. He is no big deal. 

The man with Terra’s face withers when she strikes his midsection. One arm grips his stomach to hold himself together and he brings his other hand up. Dark tendrils evaporate from the leather of his gloves. 

“As you wish,” he says to her, richly voiced, smooth as a river stone. “Friend.” He staggers to his knees, groaning as he flickers away.

“Terra!” Ven calls, too fast for Aqua to hold back. The man still wears that same black cloak that marks him as a member of the Organization.

The man shivers when Ven shakes him awake, a quiet “Aqua? Ven?” escaping his lips. He huffs out a hoarse chuckle that clutches out of pain, with a voice that sounds like a morning at the summit of a mountain. “Ven, you’re so short.” 

There he is.

“Terra.” Aqua rushes over. “Can you hear me? How do you feel?” she asks, checking for signs of physical injury, a refusal to use a limb, the inability to breathe. 

His breath stutters. “Aqua?” There he is.

“I’m here.”

He pants, opening his eyes—now blue again, his hair dark again, there he is. He jerks forward as if desperate to find her, but it’s like he can’t see her. In a drunk and feverish whimper, barely with the strength to sit himself up, he stumbles back. “Aqua. Aqua, I have to tell you something.”

“Don’t worry about that,” she says, checking his temperature with the back of her hand, “just rest.”

“No, I have to say it,” he mumbles. “I have to. I didn’t last time, I didn’t and look what happened—”

“Okay,” she whispers. “Go ahead.” 

He pauses, moaning, “I’m sorry. I love you.”

“What?”

Ven bursts into a fit of hysteria. “Perfect timing, Terra. Ten out of ten.”

But Terra seems unaware, straddling between the drift to sleep and the fight to stay awake. He nods as if to confirm, mumbling to himself like a baby.

Aqua stares at him, her heart itching to hear it again in case she misunderstood. She has daydreamed of this moment—not like this, anything sweeter than this but genuine all the same—and yet it comes to her like a splash of ice on the face. Terra is older. He has more pronounced cheekbones with less elasticity in the skin, folds of dimples and knowledge when his lips twitch, a thicker jawline, a stronger nose. A glimpse of the future, his long brown hair stretching past the shoulders, oily and excessively gelled up for ridiculous bangs. Aqua brushes his cheek with her fingers.

She should have said something years ago, too. 

“What’s going on?” a voice calls out. Riku’s. He skids to a stop when he sees them. “Is that Xemnas?”

The man Aqua fought never introduced himself, but he sure liked to talk a lot. Whoever he was, he’s not relevant anymore. “He’s delirious. We need help picking him up.”

“Wait a minute,” Riku says, approaching them with a smidge too much caution for Aqua to appreciate. “I’ve been fighting Terra all these years?” 

“Xehanort,” Aqua says quietly, wrapping Terra’s arm over her shoulders. She shuffles her knees. He’s too heavy. “You’ve been fighting Xehanort.”

Riku nods. It’s his way of apologizing. “Well. That sucks.” He offers to take the other arm. “Xemnas was the leader of the first Organization. A self-inflated piece of work… I didn’t know who he really was. I didn’t recognize him.” He pulls a smile to his face and nudges Ven with his elbow. “Sora and I made sure to give him a hard time.”

Aqua wants him to stop talking. 

Footsteps approach them, crunchy with the sound of sand and dirt, and Aqua braces herself for what’s to come. Riku whips around to prepare an explanation, but it’s none other than Kairi. 

She sees them with wide and round eyes. Brings her hand to her mouth. “Riku?” Kairi says specifically, asking him questions with her eyes in a private language Aqua can’t understand. 

He shrugs. “What do you want me to say?”

Kairi sits on her knees, her skirt too short to cover them from the dirt. “This poor boy. It’s not fair.”

Aqua purses her lips. Ven stares past everyone else. 

“We’re all getting punished,” Kairi continues like the sting of knowing that after all is said and done, Sora is gone somewhere and here are Aqua and Ven picking up their own brittle, little pieces. “Look at him.” 

Riku sighs. “I have space in my Gummi ship for him. But we need to be quick about it.”

Kairi gasps, wide-eyed. “That’s right.”

Aqua doesn’t want to ask why. Ven does it for her. “What’s up?”

“We can’t let the others see him,” Riku says.

Too late. Roxas appears on the other side of the clearing, heavy in breath. He’s sweet and gentle even when it seems like his mind is a distance away. He looks exactly like Ven but nothing like Ven, a grimness to his smile and a thoughtfulness to his speech like he’s seen and knows too much. 

Roxas frowns. “What are you doing?” 

“We’re helping him,” Aqua says as a matter of fact, flexing her ankles to stand up with Riku, shouldering half the weight. Terra stumbles on his feet, mumbling something about not wanting to step on any mice. “This is Terra, by the way.”

Roxas stares. “Why?” he asks accusingly. 

Aqua stammers. How this boy who has been ripped away from his own friends could ask such a thing— 

“Come on, he’s our friend,” Ven says. 

“You call him a friend?” Roxas points at Terra. “Do you even know what he’s done?”

Xehanort. What Xehanort has done, but Aqua stops herself from snapping. She says softly, “Terra would never—” 

“What if Terra saw what happened? What if he knew? Is he the type to be okay with that?”

She glares at him. No answer comes to her, except when Xemnas called her a Friend.

Kairi steps forward, arms out like a barrier. “He needs medical attention. We don’t have to talk about this right now.”

And they won’t have the chance. Xion slowly comes up behind Roxas. They’re both dressed in the same black cloak that Terra wears like it’s a mark, a forced tattoo. She has her hands cupped into each other, bringing them to her chest like they’re a shield. 

“Roxas?” Xion asks. She looks terrified.

“Forget it,” Roxas says, turning over and tugging her by the elbow. “This is dumb. We don’t need to care or be here.” 

Aqua refuses to fight this battle, not when Terra is wheezing and flinching as if he’s being crushed under mineral and earth. 

“Kairi,” Riku says solemnly, “just guide us back to the ship.” He says to Aqua, “If it’s any consolation, I think he would’ve done something if he knew.” 

Aqua nods, choosing to create solace out of his delicate comfort, if only to find the strength to drag Terra across the desert.

It’s a laborious but peaceful walk, what with Kairi talking about healing potions (I’ve learned some during training, maybe I can make Terra one?), and Ven excited about the first meal they’ll have together as a trio again (Pancakes, Aqua. Pancakes.), until they find Lea standing in front of the Gummi ship. He has his hands in the pockets of his cloak, and Aqua wonders if he’s concealing weapons. 

Lea is a double-sided coin. One side a mask with a running end of jokes and playful jabs designed to hide the other, steely and scrutinizing. 

“I promised myself I would never see Roxas that upset again,” Lea says, as if to blame them for breaking it. “I’ve never seen Xion that upset.” That brand of Lea-lilt in his voice, the one he uses every time he spits out Got it memorized?, is gone, and Aqua admits she respects him more for it. Lea nods over to Terra. “Shouldn’t we leave the trash where it belongs?”

“You’re really going to ask that when you’ve been pining all this time for Saïx?” Riku snaps. 

Lea laughs. “You might as well shave my entire head and tell people I’m ugly.” He chills over. “I’m no saint either, but don’t compare us to”—he points at Terra, not Xehanort or Xemnas or whoever—“him. You want to know what I think of Xemnas? He doesn’t deserve an ounce of the worst. The core of rotten fruit. The smell of ass after a trip to the bathroom. The pits of the ocean where all the fish shit clump together and the bloat of dead flesh float around.”

“Don’t mind him,” Riku tells Aqua and Ven. “He likes to exaggerate.”

“I like to make a point.” Lea steadies his breath, hot petrol on the verge of exploding, letting the steam lose pressure. “I like to tell the truth when it matters.”

Aqua glares at him. She doesn’t know Lea that well, and doesn’t know what matters of truth are supposed to mean. But she holds her head high. Her truth screams from the inside of her head. 

“Terra would never,” she announces. 

Lea scoffs. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ven trips on dragging fabric. They’re taking some of the Master’s old robes to Terra, who can’t fit into any of his own clothes anymore. The castle at the Land of Departure is stiff and quiet, like a long-lost stranger. Home isn’t home but a dream, a memory, a trip through aged photos.

“I don’t think this is going to work,” Ven says in a sing-song voice.

“The Master was a large man,” Aqua insists. 

“Yeah, but Terra’s bicep is bigger than your head now.”

That’s true and… not something Aqua wants to think about—his body though, it’s impressive—not if she wants to hide the blush in her cheeks. Terra is huge now, the crown of her head reaching the base of his diaphragm. He’s so broad that if he hugs her, she’d disappear into the flesh. 

Aqua and Ven turn the corner and enter Terra’s room, who has a towel wrapped around his hips. He’s fussing with the wet roots of his hair.

“So much grease,” Terra complains, scratching his scalp with the pads of his fingers. “What the stars was this guy thinking with all this hair gel?”

Aqua stares at the wood of his dresser—not at how sculpted his muscles are (more than ever, actually). Not at the chisels and grooves on his back as he breathes and moves to grab a robe from the rumpled stack is Ven’s arms.

“That one will look nice,” Aqua says, eyeing the ivory color of the robe Terra chose.

“Might,” Ven corrects. “Might look nice.”

Terra snorts. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re bigger than a rhino.”

He laughs. He sounds the same. “All the more to terrorize people with,” Terra says and it wretches at her chest. 

“Glad to know you’re still an idiot.”

Terra slips his arms through the sleeves, pulling the robe over his shoulders and across his chest. It’s not flattering. The seams are stretched, the threads exposed, and it wears on his shoulders so tightly that the muscles form hills under the fabric. 

Ven points and laughs. “I told you. No one listens to me.”

Aqua pulls the robe off Terra’s shoulders when he slouches into his chair. She tosses it with the rest of the Master’s unfittable artifacts onto Ven’s arms. “Can you take care of these? I’ll stay and help Terra.”

Ven eyes her. With a knowing grin. Like an imp that should be slapped. “Do what? Put his pants on?”

Terra gapes. “What?”

“You’re obnoxious,” Aqua says to Ven.

“You’d miss me if I wasn’t,” Ven says with his nose high to the ceiling. He leans forward, the imp smile stretching to reach ear to ear, curled upwards. “But Terra would like it, wouldn’t he?”

Terra coughs and clears his throat. “Ven, get out.” He waves his arm—and a crash explodes before Aqua can understand what happened. Everything in his room—his shoes, the coat rack, the lamp by his bed, his pillows, books from the shelf, dirty laundry that hasn’t been washed in a decade, dust collected from the same amount of time—fly at Ven. The comforter in particular is what knocks him over.

“What was that?” Ven squeals, sitting up from the rubble. “What was that?”

Terra’s lip quivers. He stares at his hands. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Aqua says, bending over to stack books in her arms. “Ven, get a broom and some rags. We’ve got some cleaning to do.” 

Ven trips before heading off, like he couldn’t wait to get out. Aqua has a feeling he’s going to bug her for details later. 

“I’m so sorry,” Terra whispers, balling his hands into fists and shoving them into his lap as a preemptive measure. 

The Organization’s cloak sits thrown on the floor, still dusty. Aqua pads the excess off. 

“Don’t worry,” she says, pulling cheer from somewhere inside to lighten the mood. “I’ll sew you a new robe.”

Terra won’t look at her. He mumbles her a word of thanks when she hands his dirty cloak over.

“Leather can’t be scrubbed like everything else,” she explains. “I’ll clean it later.”

“It’s fine,” Terra says, holding it in his giant hands. He doesn’t move to put it on, and instead stares at the large mirror hanging over his desk in front of him. Aqua stands by his side. She’s tall, but she never once considered herself as thin, her frame skeletal by comparison. 

By comparison, she hasn’t changed.

Well, she has. Her smiles are not the same. 

Terra’s hair is messy, now with much more for her to brush her fingers through. She doesn’t try. “I don’t remember any of these,” he whispers. 

The scars. Knicks in crossed-over patterns across his chest and biceps. A rippled scorch mark by his elbow like a crater, a gouge on one side by the stomach, a deep ravine on the other, near the ribs. More on his back, a textured map for nowhere to go. 

“Not a single one.” His voice cracks. 

Aqua caresses his shoulder. Those scars are not stories he needs to hear. “What do you remember?” She actually doesn’t want to know, in case Roxas was right. 

“Nothing.” 

She wants to be relieved, but she isn’t. “Nothing at all?” In twelve years?

“No.” 

Aqua wraps her arms around his shoulders from behind him, aware of how he tenses at first and relaxes after, a puzzle piece fitting in exactly the right spot. “Where were you?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs, leaning his head onto hers. “I wasn’t anywhere, I… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine.” Twelve years of nothing and twelve years living with nightmares; there’s not much to talk about. She traces a divot on his shoulder. “I know this one.”

“Yours,” Terra says. When he smirks that way, he looks the same as he always had.

“I stabbed you with a wooden sword.”

“My wooden sword.” He brushes his fingers on the scar. As if he’s reminded of something, Terra frowns. “I was just a kid.” He studies his skin on the reflection, pulling on his face with his fingers, watching the way the skin ripples, the sharpness of cheekbones, the dips and dimples that didn’t used to be there. There are thick streaks of silver underneath the outer layers when he brushes his hair back. He never asked for this. “Can we get rid of every mirror in the castle?” he whispers.

Aqua lets him go. The way he asks makes her want to try memory alteration, to slowly erase what haunts him so he doesn’t have to deal with harsh reminders or sudden blows to the mind. She forces herself to smile—if she shows distress, it would only upset him more. There is nothing they can do about the past and there won’t be a mention of what it’s robbed from them.

“Maybe just the one in here. I’ll help.” 

Terra stands up and takes one of his old, simple cotton shirts that he prefers when he goes to bed while Aqua tests the bottom part of the ornate frame. It won’t budge, heavy as lifting a boulder. 

“I look ridiculous,” she hears Terra say. The shirt is as tight as second skin, what used to sit on him loosely now gripping for dear life across his upper stomach, his belly button exposed. 

Aqua purses her lips, heat to her cheeks. “Do you remember waking up?”

“Where?” He’s layering the cloak over the scandal. 

“At the Keyblade Graveyard.”

“No,” he says. She’s known him for years. She can tell he’s sincere. “Why?”

“Just wondering how far your memory goes,” she says, playing serious. She’ll have to figure out a different way to bring up that conversation. “I can’t lift this alone.”

“Not a problem.” Terra grabs his side of the mirror and lifts it off its hook like it’s a single piece of paper.  He clears his throat. “Um—wow.”

“That’s impressive,” Aqua says, and Terra blushes purple. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aqua makes it back home in time for lunch, and finds Terra sitting on the bar that splits the kitchen from the dining room, wearing his cloak with the zipper open, no shirt and leather pants. It must be blistering hot in those considering the sunny weather. He’s complained about having to sleep naked. 

She presents him with several bags on the counter. Rolls of fresh cotton shirts and pants for lounging, nylon for sparring and wool for the winter. He splits a warm grin when he feels how soft they are. It almost brightens his deep dark circles. 

“I also found these gorgeous fabrics,” Aqua says, showing him the silk she means to make him a new robe in that same ivory color, with embroidered, rust-colored strips that she’ll use for the borders and trims. “This will look good with your armor.” 

“Let me show you what I’ve been working on.” On his lap are a set of the Master’s old hakama. Terra is attempting to tailor it…all through hand sewing, the needle swallowed by his thick fingers. The threads are bunched up and knotted over, if they don’t skip some parts. “What?” he asks. She must be making a face. “It’s ugly isn’t it.”

“Nothing that skill can’t help,” Aqua says, taking the pants from him and not apologizing for anything.

He taps the counter with his fingers. “Riku told me about Xemnas.”

Aqua stops the urge to groan, folding over the fabric carefully and pretending that name doesn’t boil her blood. “What did he say?”

“Xemnas was a telekinetic.” 

That explains some things. “Okay.”

“Apparently he could lift entire buildings.”

Aqua snorts.

Terra leans forward. “Hey, you can’t blame me for the back door.”

“But it makes sense.”

Terra has blown open said door. He has also destroyed historical statues and windows that are difficult to replace. He has even ripped a tree from its roots when he practiced his powers outside. The more he gets scared of these abilities, the more destructive he becomes. Terra’s body is not entirely sane on its own either—he’ll step on pebbles, on glass barefoot, and he can’t feel a thing. 

“Can you answer Riku for me?” He pulls the Gummiphone from his pocket, the device smaller than his palm. “The buttons are too small. I’m thinking of asking Chip and Dale to build me a custom-sized one.” 

She takes his phone, the screen smudged with his round fingertips, larger than her nails. “Are you going to stop training your new powers?”

He flinches. “They’re not mine.”

“Well...” she says gently, cradling his phone in her hands. It’s warm from his touch. 

“Not that I can control them.” He huffs, frustrated enough to crack the counter in half if he tries. 

“Why don’t you show me how far you’ve come?”

He glares at her. 

“The oranges.” She points to the kitchen on the other side of the room. Oranges, pears, and apples sit in a wooden bowl by the sink. “Pick one of them up.”

“That’s a little too much to ask for.”

“One tiny orange?” She smirks. “You can balance it on your pinky.”

He scoffs. “You talk as if you like me like this.”

Aqua clears her throat, suddenly deep in a trench that she can’t climb out of. “You can’t help what happened to you, but you can help yourself.”

Terra rolls his eyes. “Yes, ma’am. Stars, it’s like being in class again.”

“I’m pleased with that. Try sliding the bowl over.”

Terra leans his elbows onto the counter and opens his palms, his fingers curled like claws. What surprises her is how fast the bowl responds, like it’s channeling an emotional reaction, immediate and neurotic. It rattles, as if it weighs several tons under an ocean. 

Aqua looks over at his furrowed concentration, sweat glistening as though he’s wrestling instead of picking up fruit. “What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

She smiles. “There was a day when we didn’t know what our Keyblades would look like. That was exciting and terrifying at the same time, remember?”

“You sound like the Master.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

Terra grunts. “Fine, I’ll try harder.” Though he doesn’t have to prove anything to Aqua. Ever.

Terra waves his hands to the right and—disaster.

The bowl flips over and crashes into the fridge. 

Plates and mugs burst out of the cupboards, shattering when they hit the floor. Pots and pans soar, crossing the entire kitchen and slamming into the grandfather clock, destroying the glass casing and tearing apart the inside as gears sputter to the floor. 

The clockface nearly lands on Ven’s head when he enters with a glass of water in his hand. He freezes. It cracks when it hits the tile. Forks, spoons, and other utensils spin past him and stab the wall, the knives wedged into it. 

“Ven!” Aqua calls, running to him. He’s fine. If anything, he’s shivering from shock. 

“Ven,” Terra starts, scrambling up from the stool but he flicks his hands too quickly. The water from Ven’s glass splashes him on the face. “Stars, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t,” Ven says, wiping his face. “Worry about it.” He inhales. “You nearly impaled me.” 

“I’m sorry—”

“Sit,” Ven says, pointing at Terra. “On your hands.”

Terra does as he’s told, slumping his shoulders over as if to shrink. But it’s a parody, an elephant hiding behind a palm tree, a giant monster puppy rejected.

Ven looks over the destroyed grandfather clock—it was one of the Master’s newer ones, who developed a fondness for them late into his life. “This one was a stars-damned eyesore, anyway.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aqua is dressed in her shorts and shirt, preparing for bed when she hears another crash, this time a dull crack, breaking apart right outside her bedroom. 

Terra is carrying a door handle, still attached to shards of wood. He is furiously shivering, wearing the new clothes she bought for him.

“Terra, are you okay?” she asks gently.

With effort, he calms himself, the handle shaking in both of his hands, a hole in his door the only other thing amiss. “I can fix it.” His undereye circles are getting awfully puff, his voice broken by static. 

“You should really get some sleep,” she says, stepping out. 

He sighs forcefully, as if to ask her to stop. “I can’t.”

She nods. “It’s hard for me to sleep, too.”

“I can’t help but feel like my body is going to sleepwalk without me knowing.”

“I don’t think it would.” She smirks but it doesn’t comfort him. “I take rounds around the castle sometimes. I would notice if you’re a zombie.”

His lips quiver, and he squeezes the handle as if to snap it on purpose. He doesn’t. Terra turns to her but stares hard at the floor. In a voice so quiet that he sounds like a small boy, he asks, “Can you stay with me tonight?”

Her heart jumps, trying to wretch itself out of her chest. “Terra?”

“I want to sleep. I can’t. I think it would be easier if…” He fiddles with the door handle, a shy boy unable to speak. “If you were with me.”

Aqua smiles. He’s braver than her for asking. “I’d feel safer behind a locked door. Come in.”

On her desk is her sewing machine, the pattern of his new robe designed, his measurements already taken, the fabric put together in pins and ready to be weaved with thread. 

But there is a mirror in her room, and when Terra enters, he stops in his place. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, moving to pull one of her bedsheets to cover it. 

“It’s fine,” Terra says, but she’s too fast, balancing out the coverage. He slouches on her chair and leans back with a grunt. His fair falls behind him like a cascade. It’s always been wonderfully thick and dark. Aqua indulges this time, brushing it with her fingers, tempted to braid it. He audibly relaxes, and says, “Riku told me what happened in the Graveyard.”

Aqua swallows. “What did he say?”

“How Roxas and Lea reacted.” He gets quieter the more he speaks, words slipping into weak whispers. “To me.” Tears drip out of his eyes, running to his ears and down his neck. He sniffs. “Xion is terrified of me and I don’t know how to live with myself.”

“It’s not your fault, Terra,” she says softly, lightly rubbing his scalp when she sweeps his glorious hair, brown and silver like silk on her skin. It soothes him. 

“Kairi said the same.”

“Kairi is wise.”

“She wants to find a way to get us all together.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Aqua says, and he groans. “Let me figure out how to set that up. I’ll coordinate with her.”

“I don’t think that will end well.”

“We should try. We all have things in common and have faced similar hardships. We need each other as friends.”

“But look at me.”

She does. He’s beautiful. “I’m looking.”

“What am I going to do?” Terra has always been too sensitive for his own good. Aqua thinks about who she’d possibly call to help me. “They’ll never talk to me.”

“You’re already trying your best.”

“Aqua, I’ve been a beast since I’ve been home.” He rubs his thumb and fingers together. A body that fails him. 

“Terra, please, you’re fine the way you are.”

“Two more grandfather clocks under my belt and all the vegetables in the garden in my pocket,” he reminds her.

“Let’s try one more time,” she says, taking his hand. “I think if you could outwin your powers, you’d feel better.”

“Your room is too immaculate for me to mess with.”

“Not my room. On me.”

“Why would I do that?” Terra stands up. 

“I think if there’s a parameter that you’re forced to work under, you’d improve the way you want to.” 

Terra pauses. “And put you in danger?”

“If that’s what’s going to work.”

“I care too much about you to do that.”

“I know you love me,” Aqua says, startling herself. She shouldn’t have said that, especially now that he’s staring at her wide-eyed—but they’re best friends. Of course he loves her. Of course it’s the most natural thing to say. There’s not much more to imply. “You won’t hurt me.”

“Intentionally,” his voice croaks, looking everywhere around the room except at Aqua.

“What do you want out of your training, Terra?”

“I want to feel less like a freak.”

“Here I am.” She widens her arms. “Hit me with your best shot.”

“What if I fling you out the window like a rag doll?”

“You won’t.” Now she’s nervous he will.

“Or burst your skull open?”

“Then don’t.” Aqua swallows.

Terra sighs and runs a hand through his hair, the silver glistening from the light of her ceiling lamp. 

“Be gentle,” Aqua suggests.

Terra hesitates, one step too far behind necessary confidence. She takes both of his hands in hers, and he gives her a feathered squeeze in return. 

“Promise me you won’t break,” he says.

“Promise you won’t break me.”

He blinks back tears when he holds her waist, his hands a hearth through her thin shirt. He’s about to pick her up but he lets her go instead, intentionally widening his hands as if pulling strings. As though gravity has shut off, the air around her loses all weight. Her feet lift off the carpet and she’s suspended above her dresser, her limbs moving slowly as though she’s underwater. Terra trembles from so much concentration. He’s worried, delicate with her, lifting her up like a cloud drifting over a mountain, her desk distant like it’s inside a doll house, her bed too small for a body to sleep in.

She gasps. “Wow.”

Terra wrestles with a smile but every muscle is engaged as though he’s picking up a boulder. 

“You’re doing wonderful,” she says. When he looks up at her, he cries. “Now put me down. Gently.”

It’s like she’s asking him to drop that boulder, all collateral be damned. He groans, a vein throbbing on his forehead. He’s hesitant at first but he exhausts when he finally relaxes. The threads that hold her snap. Aqua falls. Terra catches her by her bare thighs. 

“You did so well,” she whispers, holding onto his shoulders. Dust collects on the top of her door frame that she’d never notice otherwise. “You’re so tall,” she laughs.

He sighs. “I’m so tired.”

“Oh, you can put me down.”

His arms stutter when he slides her off him, and he plops onto her mattress, the adrenaline making him tremble. But he smiles. That’s the most Aqua could ask for, and yet that’s the thing, for some reason, that unplugs the dam. 

“I know what it’s like,” she starts, resting a hand on his head. “I wish it never happened. I wish I didn’t have to meet Xemnas, or that I fell into Darkness. Or that anyone hurt you. We wasted all those years.”

“Don’t say that,” he says softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You came back the same and you can redo all that time. Enjoy it.”

“But you?”

Terra sighs. He’s aged. He lays on her mattress, knees sliding off the edge and feet firm on the floor. “I’m okay. I’ve made my peace.”

When she settles next to him, she has to curl her legs in, fitting right into his side, her head on his shoulder. She relaxes to the way he strokes her hair. Peace shouldn’t have to be made. It shouldn’t be bargained for, it shouldn’t be difficult to win in a twisted game. But it is for most people, isn’t it? It is for anyone who’s been betrayed, who has suffered misfortune, who has been robbed or tortured, who has been fractured into pieces with no reason to justify it. 

Terra and Aqua have kissed before out of curiosity, years ago. It left her wanting more. And the wanting has led to yearning. And the yearning lingered on, Aqua choosing to wait for the right moment, for the right hour, for the right occasion, letting it all slip her by each and every time for the most mundane reasons. Terra and Aqua have napped together in the woods, in the shade of a tree after hours of sparring, shoulder to shoulder, one of them promising to wake the other before they’re late for their lessons. 

“If I ever get up in the middle of the night...” Terra starts. 

“Where is this conversation going?” 

“And I’m not actually awake—”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“—and I’m walking around like a zombie—”

“Pfft.”

“—please hit me as hard as you can.”

Aqua chuckles. This shouldn’t be a joke at all and yet what else is there left for them to do? “As you wish.”

“Promise me you’ll wake me up. No matter what.”

“Of course.” Aqua nuzzles her face into his shoulder, feeling the way his pec curves over rock-hard muscle. “Always.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They’re in the study, where some of the most outdated books in the castle find their home, for decoration more than anything.

Terra has new suspenders and hakama pants. The robe she’s designed for him, ivory with rust-colored trim, has one proper sleeve. The other is more of an open cape that curls under his armored arm, pinning at his shoulder like a shawl, made to show off the metal, burgundy and shiny. He’s elegant, tall and intimidating, respectable and warm. 

“I love it,” he says.

“You almost look like the Master,” Aqua says.

“Do you think he would have liked it?”

“I think he would have been proud.”

Ven knocks on the door frame, holding up an Okay gesture. “Nice getup.” 

Terra smirks. “It makes me look less scary.”

“Are you going to throw away the black cloak?”

Aqua flinches, pinching the robe and straightening it, though not because it needs it. 

“I’m still thinking about it,” Terra says. “It depends on how today goes.”

“Speaking of,” Ven says, and Aqua sighs. “Aqua, he’s here.”

As though all breath has been sucked out of the air, they fall quiet. The crackle of the fireplace snaps. 

“You doing okay?” she whispers to Terra.

He nods, but his skin turns green. 

“Just relax and get comfortable,” she says.

Ven follows Aqua to the entrance hall, where their guest has welcomed himself inside. Isa stands with a poise that demands to be matched with a level of professionalism. Aqua crosses her hands together and keeps them to herself.

“Thank you for coming,” she says. When she messaged him to be a mediator, she wasn’t sure what to expect. Lea and Isa may seem to be opposite but they are two peas in a pod that way. Lea is a book of riddles, one page contradicting its own backside depending on which version of him shows up that day. Isa’s book is blank.

“I appreciate your invitation,” Isa says, though an instinctual tick deep in her stomach tells her that appreciation was a difficult word for him to use. 

“Hey there.” Ven waves. 

Isa raises his eyebrows. “Hello, Ventus,” he says… and nothing else.

Ven glances at Aqua and blares a tight, awkward smile. “Okay. Well. I’ll leave you to it.”

After Ven leaves, Isa breathes, like he’s been holding it. “I suppose the rest of this visit will be similar.” The grin on his face is sudden whiplash for Aqua, his strict posture now with blurred edges. 

“In what way?” Aqua can’t quit the habit of letting go of her hands.

“Roxas usually wears a scowl. To see the same face greet me so warmly, it was quite the surprise.” 

“Ah.”

“But a welcomed one.” His intense green eyes drill a hole into her. “Believe me when I say that I’m more than happy to come here and see him for myself, though it puts me in a fickle position with my family.”

Aqua brings her hands to her heart. “I think Sora would want us all to get along.”

“If that’s the angle you want to approach this with, I’d say you have a moderate chance of convincing them.” 

She nods and leads the way. “He’s excited to meet you.”

Isa doesn’t reply. Terra is waiting on one of the lounge chairs in the study, telekinetically spinning pages on a book floating in front of him. He snatches the book as they approach him, and drops it on a nearby desk. 

Terra doesn’t say anything. Neither does Isa, who sits himself on a comfortable chair opposite and crosses his legs. Aqua, not knowing where to go or what to do with her hands, stands by Terra. She’s hoping for an amicable meeting, anticipating an interrogation.

Isa smirks and it’s not exactly inviting. “Shall we skip the pleasantries?”

Terra nods like a dog scolded. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says with a shaky voice. 

Isa hums, interlacing his fingers as he stares—rather studies Terra with scrutiny. “Do you remember me?”

Terra shakes his head, choking on a cough. “You’re asking the wrong person.” 

“Are you certain?”

“I know of you.”

“What do you know of me?”

“You’re with Lea.” Terra licks his lips and balls his hands into fists. He only gets this way when he’s being tested, when he wants to get every answer correct. “You’ve had a complicated history with Organization XIII.”

“Complicated,” Isa repeats. 

“You were a Nobody.”

Isa smirks coldly, much like how Aqua would have imagined from the stories she’s heard about Saïx. “We were brethren.”

Terra hangs his head. “I don’t know much else.”

“How is that possible?” 

“I don’t know. I resigned. It was so painful not to. I was nowhere. Nothing to have, nothing to see, nothing to hear. I waited for an opportunity for it to stop hurting—” Terra croaks. “And I woke up.”

Isa uncrosses his legs and anchors his elbows onto his knees, cupping his chin into his hands. “You’ve no memory of the command to manipulate Sora into vanquishing Heartless for us?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“To gather enough energy to summon Kingdom Hearts.”

“That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

Isa sighs, and Aqua swears it sounds like anticipation. “And the scar on my face?”

The way Isa asks demands an explanation, and Terra—sweet, sensitive Terra, whose eyes grow hollow—can’t handle the implication. 

“No. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He grits his teeth, staring at the armrest. Aqua stops herself from speaking and holds his shoulder. There isn’t anything for Terra to be sorry for. 

Isa closes his eyes, trembling. After a moment, he jams his thumbs into his eyes and stills, silence befalling all of them, settling among the gentle presence of the fire and the movement of the clouds outside. 

When Isa sits up, eyes glassy but kept together, he summons a smile. Softly, he says, “You look nothing like him.”

Terra, at a loss for words, nods meekly. “Did you keep it? The black cloak?”

“Of course not.” Isa scoffs. “We burned ours.”

Terra offers no condolences or congratulations. He smiles, exhausted. 

Isa stands up. “Please don’t tell me you enjoy white wine with red velvet confections.”

Terra recoils, popping into a laugh as though he’s cracked under the pressure. “That sounds like it tastes awful. I don’t drink. I don’t like losing control of my body.”

The sound of Terra’s laugh shocks Isa. “Sensible.” He addresses Aqua with a look. “I must go. This has been… rather cathartic, and I’d prefer to release it in private.” 

Terra bolts out of his chair, reaching out to cradle one of Isa’s hands in both of his. 

“Thank you,” Terra says, and though Aqua is behind him, she could hear the tears. “Please come back whenever you feel comfortable. I’d love to have your company.”

Isa nods, turning over his shoulder for the door.

The abrupt exit leaves Terra pleading Aqua with his eyes. “Did I say something wrong?” he whispers, slapping his forehead. “I couldn’t honor his experiences. I should have figured out a way to remember.”

“That’s not your burden to bear. It wouldn’t help you anyway,” she whispers back, gently gripping his elbow. “I’ll be back.”

Aqua trails Isa back downstairs, skipping steps. It’s as though he’s in a hurry to get back home. 

“Isa,” she calls. When he stops, she almost trips on herself. Her hands return to their crossover position. Something about Isa makes her so self-conscious, it’s indescribable how he can unravel her like this. “I wanted to thank you again for taking the time to come here.” 

His eyes are pink. “I will tell the others there is nothing to fear.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Lea is unbearably stubborn, but he is intelligent. He already knows Terra is not to be blamed. He simply hasn’t buried his demons yet and that is his responsibility.”

Aqua sighs, relieved. “I needed to hear that.”

Isa doesn’t smile. Instead, he traces a finger across the X-shaped scar over his nose. “Terra and I are forced to face our mistakes in the mirror for as long as we breathe. If we are ever to forge a new life from the ashes, we would need to throw our transgressions into a pyre.”

“I think your presence makes him feel less alone.”

“I want to apologize, Master Aqua.”

“For what?”

Isa considers his words. “Lea and I have lost so much of our youth to a worthless cause. It is not natural for us to enjoy freedom. We expect a harsher punishment to catch up to us any day now, to steal more time from us. Perhaps we deserve to live in fear of that every day. I certainly do.” He watches her. “I can see the story you’ve endured this past decade in your eyes. It’s horrific.” 

Aqua stays quiet.

“And Terra,” he continues. “He will age and die long before you and Ventus. I’m so sorry for that. The rubble we’re left with, it is such a weight for us to bear.”

She wipes a tear from her cheek, too proud to let them continue. “That’s why we need to make the best of it.”

Isa smiles; this time it’s warm. He holds her bicep. “I agree.”

“Will you and the others join us for dinner? Terra speaks for all of us, we’d love to have you around.”

“Bribe Lea with an extravagant experience and he will surely say yes. The children will follow once we assure them.”

Aqua nearly jumps to hug him but she keeps herself composed. Instead, she bows to him. His eyes pulse open.

“That was not necessary,” he says.

“You need to understand how deeply I appreciate this.”

“Lea was right. You old-fashioned wielders are certainly an odd bunch.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On her way back to the study, Aqua breaks into a sprint, desperate to fly so she could get to him as fast as possible, see his face when she delivers the news.

Terra sulks by a window. Before he could say anything, Aqua jumps and throws her arms around his neck in a clash of grunts, her legs dangling. 

“They’re going to join us for dinner,” she says. She can’t tell if she’s the one who’s trembling or if it’s Terra. Because her arms are wrapped around his neck, she drags him down with her when he relaxes. He rests his forehead on hers as he leans over her, his hair falling around her like a curtain. 

“Stars,” he whispers. “It’s happening?”

She smiles into his cheek. “He wants to bring everyone with him.”

He squeezes her by the small of her back. “We’ll have to invite the others too. Riku and Kairi. Naminé. It will be a feast.”

At the sound of his own words, Terra straightens out, and their fleeting moment of excitement vanishes as quick as it graces them. He nervously clutches a handful of his hair. “Wait, how soon are they coming?”

“Is something wrong?”

“I want to wear it in a ponytail.” He brushes his hair up, exposing the silver near the scalp. “Do you think it’s possible to dye it?”

That’s what makes him so insecure? Aqua stands on her toes to fiddle with the hair. “Come on. It’s a little tedious, but it can be done.”

Aqua snips the necessary plants from the garden, and after grinding them, she dumps the blend into a mix of water and animal fat. Terra slips his robe off and bends over the kitchen sink, letting her sweep the dye with a paintbrush and pinch it across the strands of his long hair with gloved hands. This is the tedious part, separating his hair into thin chunks and being diligent enough to leave nothing untouched. 

“It won’t last for long, right?” he asks, shifting his weight.

“I can find a spell to seal it and make it last longer.” She nudges him to turn his neck over so she can work the other side. In this direction, he can look up at her.

“This feels like I’m cheating.” 

“I think we all cheated. We all came back by some star’s blessing.”

Terra frowns. “When Isa wanted to know if I remembered anything, I felt like I was playing a rigged game. Like I had gotten away with it so easily when he’s stuck with them on his own.”

“Bend your neck forward,” she says, and he follows so she could brush the dye into the back of the scalp. “Well, Isa doesn’t blame you and no one should. And you do get away with certain things.”

Terra flinches but she keeps her hold on him. “Like what?”

Aqua pinches more of the dye into the hair at the neck, wrapping a towel around his shoulders. He will have to pass the time needed for the color to sink in. She can’t wait until he sees it for himself in the mirror. She can’t wait until he smiles more, until he can walk with seeded confidence. 

“You can stand up,” she tells him, instructing him that it will take almost an hour for the dye to settle. She pulls out her gloves and considers an answer to his question. “You get away with what you say sometimes.”

Terra gapes. “Did I offend you?”

“No.” She smirks. This has never been the way she daydreamed it would go—she had prepared a scenario where they would talk about it under the stars in a clear night, in the spring where the flowers have blossomed. Not with yet another shirt that they’ll have to replace.“You told me you loved me that day in the Graveyard.” He doesn’t flinch. “And you don’t remember saying that either.”

The bowl of dye rattles and Aqua catches it from falling over, spilling the excess into the sink and rinsing it. “Terra?”

“Uh.” The cupboards shake as if about to spill open. Terra grabs the knife block and throws it into the fridge, just in case. “Well.” He splays his hand over the handle and burns it with a fire spell, molding the metal together so it can’t burst open. “I’ll fix that later. Um. It’s—” He tips over the fruit bowl so nothing will fly out in different directions. He can’t look her in the face, taking deep breaths. “I mean. It’s not—it’s not a lie.” 

Aqua waits a moment, afraid another word is going to make the oven explode. “I should have told you the same.” She bites her lip. 

“What are you saying?” The burner grates of the stovetop blow up and hit the cupboard over it. “All this time, I could have known?”

“Maybe you should have done something about it.” 

“I’ve been driving myself crazy wondering how you felt. Ever since we came back home.”

“And you said nothing?”

Terra stares at her. “You know what—I’m not protecting you from the oranges.”

“What are you doing?” She chuckles.

He flips the bowl back and waves his arm, five oranges punching her on the arm that she’s using to shield herself.

“Terra!”

She stumbles as the oranges bounce back from the floor and arc over to hit her again. Terra squeezes his fists and the oranges unpeel themselves, sputtering juice all over her face, a tart taste filling her mouth.

Aqua laughs and runs into the dining room, ducking behind the table.

“Get back here,” Terra calls. He rushes into the dining room, clumsy enough to be caught off guard when she charges at him. 

Aqua has to jump higher, kicking off his chest to flip over. The goal is to slam her foot across his face—the best sparring trick in her arsenal. Terra catches her by the ankle but his balance is tested when she bends her knee to throw him off. He’s stronger, a tight grip on her calf. They both fall onto his back, a tower broken in two and collapsing on itself.

Aqua rests her head between his chest, giggling so much that her chin digs into his thorax. 

Terra groans, his soaked hair leaving brown tracks over the tile. “You got some on you.” He rubs a thumb on her temple where it meets the base of her hair. “Hmm, you’d look good as a brunette.”

“In your wildest dreams.”

“If one can come true, then you never know.”

Aqua holds herself up on her elbows. Terra is so large, he’s a mattress in the middle of the dining room floor. Streaks of dye draw across his cheek. They leave what look like slashes across his neck. It’s going to take some scrubbing power to remove them. She sweeps some of the hair off, not caring about the stain it leaves on her fingers.

The next move is natural. A touch of lips to lips, careful and giddy, puckered and softer than she expects, two hands on her back and a powerful jaw under the grace of her fingertips. 

Ven opens the door and gags. “Ugh, all the stars in hell, could you do that in your room?” He turns on his heel and stomps off. “I’m too young for this.”

Aqua snorts into Terra’s mouth and he spits. “I’m sorry,” she says.

Terra licks his lips of juice. He leans up for more. “You taste tangy.”

#terraqua #terraqua week #aqua #terra #ventus #isa #AHHHHH IT'S THE START OF THE NEW WEEK #I wish i had more time for this one #but I hope you all like it ;-; #my fic

[lightwithinthedarknessu]

A Crown to Adorn

Starting off #sokaiweek2021 with a fluffy one-shot! 

Wrote a little fluffy one-shot for Day 1 of @sokaiweek Prompt: King and Queen. Childhood memories for #sokai and a cute flower date! A time of healing and reminiscence, adorned with flowers fit for a King and Queen.

A03:   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32511775 

Fanfiction. net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13918369/1/A-Crown-to-Adorn

A Crown to Adorn

*.*.*.*

“Wear a crown of flowers on your head, let its roots reach your heart.” – Kabir

*.*.*.*

The smell of the grass, the warmth of the sun on their faces, and the slight scent of honeysuckle wafting through the canopy above was the perfect complement to an otherwise ordinary day. Ordinary, that word seemed to slip into her mind with a lithe bump, nestling into her heart but leaving behind a tinge of anxiety. Was it good to cherish something even if you knew it wouldn’t last? Those words danced within her mind as warm rays of light kissed her cheeks.

Living in the moment. Cherishing those small moments of reprieve-sometimes Kairi had to keep reminding herself to do that. Whether it be taking in deep breaths of the salty air or cherishing the soft sensation of sand squished between her toes- those small insignificant moments she needed to hold close. The way the wind hit her face as Sora and Riku rushed past her in one of their many races or the sensation of cold droplets hitting her face during one of their many water fights. Those moments, they would rush back at her all at once during those times she was alone, listless, and longing for their company.

Somehow, Kairi knew that today would be one of those many moments she held close to her heart. She took in a deep breath, savoring the crisp air hitting her lungs.

The Kingdom of Corona was as beautiful as Sora had claimed it would be. Filled with flora and fauna, clean air, and warm bathes in sunshine. Even the few heartless around were, she had to admit, cute in their own way. Made her almost sad to pummel them, but once she found herself attacking in unison alongside Sora- every thought she had just melted away. He always seemed to do that, make her feel as if she could do anything, be anything. It sounded silly but- his light made hers stronger somehow. It radiated within her a warmth that felt so comforting she never wanted it to leave.  

After clearing the area, they had decided to take a quick swim in the spring nearby and were now sunning themselves like a couple of lizards on the forest floor. They had taken off their shoes and fully let themselves relax for what felt like an eternity. Peaceful, it was so peaceful that Kairi felt she could fall into a sleep here without a care in the world.  

“I’m glad you brought me here. It’s so pretty.” Kairi turned to Sora, her eyes welling with shimmering light. After hours of training, Sora had dropped by unannounced, unattended by the other two little half-pints, to whisk her away for a “well-deserved break” as he put it. At the time he had a shy grin on his face, letting her know that really, he had just wanted to see her. Not that she minded. She wanted to see him too.

“I had to! I mean you love flowers and well the beach back home isn’t as green as this. Heck, I hadn’t even seen some of the plants here before. It’s really something- all those worlds we wanted to see- just there’s always something new.” Sora blurted out, his excitement burgeoning behind an uncontrollable grin. He rubbed the back of his neck and leaned forward. “Sorry, I’m getting a bit too excited. I’ve been wanting to show you all these new things for so long. Every time I see something I think, “Kairi and Riku need to see this!”

Kairi giggled. Sora did seem to be holding in boundless energy every time she saw him. “I want to see it all with you. I mean, we always wanted to travel and learn everything we could. Even just seeing this world makes me want to go to all kinds of places with you- and Riku too…” Kairi tucked a stray piece of hair from her face. She felt almost embarrassed to say anything more- to tell him that really, she wanted to just run away with him right now. Leave it all behind. But that would be selfish, wouldn’t it? They had to face Xehanort. Even if that meant risking their lives. Still, that incredible wanderlust creaked within her bones. Even now her heart began to beat faster at the thought of Sora whisking her away to world after world. She could just picture it-brisk walks on stardust touched beaches, huddling close in frigid snow-kissed air, or dancing on the tips of their toes across warm cobblestones-

Everything. Just experience it all-together- hand in hand in a world all their own.

Kairi felt something lightly fall on her head. A light gasp escaped her lips at the sensation. It tickled her eyelashes as she looked up to greet Sora’s impish grin. Her hand reached up to touch the delicate petals of a ring of flowers he had placed on her head. Her eyes widened. “When did you…”

“Oh just while you were humming to yourself earlier. Did I do a good job? I mean I’m not as good at connecting them together as you…but I did have a good teacher.” Sora winked.

Tears pricked the edges of her eyes. When they were children, Kairi often spent her time near the shore picking small wildflowers and clover. One of the few things she remembered about her grandmother was her love of flowers and the way she used to weave together flower crowns. It used to make her feel like she was almost home again, weaving the flowers together, creating something from nothing. It was cathartic. For hours she would lose herself in the action- maybe that was why piecing shells together also soon became second nature. Once, Sora sat down next to her, and watched intently as she connected each stem of clover flower without asking any questions. When she was done, he told her how pretty it was and how “he wanted one too.”

For a few days after school, they would go down to the shore, make flower crowns, and pretend they were a King and Queen of the flower people. Well, the last part was entirely Sora’s idea. When she thought back on it- Kairi wondered if Sora did that to help her feel better about being homesick. She had missed her grandmother so badly back then. Every day she felt so alone. But then…Sora was there. And Riku…and the three of them found new things to do together.

Back then, Kairi hadn’t paid a second thought to the idea that most boys wouldn’t find what she was doing that interesting. Thinking about it now, Sora probably only said he wanted one too so she wouldn’t feel lonely- after all…she wasn’t the fastest runner or could hold her own at the time in a mock sword fight. What she was good at was making things, connecting flowers, shells, and bits of shattered sea glass into stars shapes or crowns. Her room back home was filled with makeshift stars, unfinished and marred imitations of the charm Sora now held close as an oath to her. Her childish fantasies of an unbreakable connection, made real and whole through a brush of their fingers as she passed the charm to him. Her fingertips warmed as she recalled his touch.

Now, with the newly coronated flower crown atop her reddened locks-Kairi felt that same bubbling joy well up inside her.

Kairi couldn’t believe Sora had still remembered that time or well had even retained his “flower-tying skills” as he used to call it. Sora had remembered a time that even she had pushed back deep into the depths of her heart. “I think that you retained some skill.” Kairi puffed out her chest. “But I think I’m still the master. So, I’m going to work my magic! It’s only fair that you have one to match.”

Sora chuckled and placed both hands behind his head. “Well, I guess we’re off flower picking then huh?” His hips swayed from side to side, his legs acting listless as if they hadn’t moved in hours.

Kairi bounced up on her heels, feeling a renewed vigor in her veins. “Yep! Lead the way, King!”

“King?” Sora’s jaw slacked. “Gosh, when you say it like that it only reminds me of “the King.”

Kairi lightly patted Sora on the shoulder. “Now, now.” Kairi chided. “There can be more than one King and Kings of different things. He may be “the King” but you- you’re my Flower King right?” An impish grin filled her cheeks. Sora blinked a few times before averting his eyes. She could swear a tinge of red was on the tips of his ears.

“Geez flower King? Don’t tell Riku, or Donald or Goofy- I’ll never live that down.”

“But I’m the flower Queen- we have to match!”  Kairi pointed an accusatory finger at him. Sora jumped back a beat, his deep blue eyes tinged with uncertainty. Soon, his eyes swirled with glimmering sunshine, his smile so subtle she found herself itching to gently brush her fingers across his lips. Her cheeks heated at the thought.

“Okay, I mean if you are I have to be then.” Sora put a hand over his mouth to muffle a laugh. Though clearly uncomfortable, there was a hint of joy in those words. Poking fun at him like this was almost too nostalgic. With ease, she slid her hand into his and gave it a tight squeeze. He recoiled slightly before sheepishly squeezing her hand back. His eyes wouldn’t meet hers, but she knew- he was just a tad shy still.

Hand in hand they traversed the woods searching for violet, azure, and fuchsia hues. Their still bare feet brushing against rough patches of dirt and slick grass, staining their toes a light green as they went. The morning dew, still kissing the tips of their hair, kept them cool against the ever-rising sun. Every flower they came across seemed more beautiful than the rest- they gathered until they were spilling out onto the ground beneath them. Sora sneezed a few times, sending them flying much more than he would have liked. The air filled with laughter as they collected them all again, each time regretting having over-prepared their bounty.

They returned to the clearing in no time at all-and she set about her work. Connecting the flowers together wasn’t hard- but choosing which flowers suited Sora best- well that took some thinking. Baby’s breath, delicate and kind, hydrangeas as blue and calming as the sea, red carnations brandishing the passionate courage in his heart, and yellow calla lilies to represent his happy disposition. When she was done- it was a crown only befitting him. When she held it up against the light, the shadows cast across her face danced- truly she could think of it as her best work yet. Smirking and a bit too proud, Kairi stood up and delicately laid the crown atop her “King’s” head.

“I, Flower Queen Kairi dub thee- Sora- Flower King.” In a grand bow, Kairi placed a hand over her heart, glancing up at him with mischief and mirth.

Sora’s wide toothy grin greeted her. “It’s an honor!” He paused, searching his mind before snapping his fingers in the realization of something important. “Does it look Kingly?”

“I think it suits you, just as mine suits me.” Kairi spun on her heels, dancing as she delicately brushed the petals she adorned. She gave Sora a taunting wink as she thrust out her hand. “I’d say a dance is in order, sire.”

A deep laugh escaped his chest as Sora jumped up to grab her hand and pull her close. Their eyes connected as if a thread between them became taught, sure, and certain that the entire world around them could just melt away into nothing, and it would all be alright. One step, then two, a sway and a swish, he even threw in a twirl or two as they danced to the bubbling brook and twilling birds. The melody in their hearts flowed and swirled at a tempo that pulled her into a sense of weightlessness. The countless times she dreamed of the two of them, blissfully dancing, suddenly made it real.

It was real, him, her, this moment. It was a sensation, a scent, a feeling she wanted to bottle up and keep close- like an herbarium filled with preserved flowers. Bright, opulent, and ever so warm. As their dance slowed, and her heart settled, Kairi leaned her head on Sora’s shoulder, letting herself melt into his rising chest. It was then Kairi knew that home wasn’t ever far anymore. That homesickness had long flitted away like petals in the wind once she let Sora into her heart. Now, every time she thought of their memories, these moments, the rise and fall of his chest, his heartbeat…Kairi knew somehow she was always closer to home.

 Years Before

*.*.*.*

The bluff at the edge of town was filled with clover flowers. Though she had been warned with a stern shake of the mayor’s finger, and a disapproving huff or two from the town elders, Kairi always found herself foraging for flowers here. The wind blowing through her hair, and the misty salt air gently caressing her chubby cheeks made her feel more at home here than anywhere else on the island.  In the afternoon quiet, only the rumbling low roar of the waves had been keeping her company. Lightly and carefully, she hummed a melody as she worked, losing herself in knot after knot.

*.*.*.*

“What do you think she’s doing?” Sora muttered in a hushed tone, trying to keep his usually loud voice as quiet as possible. He was huddled on his haunches behind a large hedge, practically wiggling to keep himself from falling over. He and Riku had followed Kairi from a distance like two ducks up the winding hillside. When they had seen her leaving the Mayor’s house she had been stomping and letting out a long-winded sigh or two. Riku had said that she was “probably angry” and that it mostly had to do with her going off alone. Sora, being extremely curious about Kairi ever since she had arrived on the beach, had never not kept watch over her. So, Riku being Riku had suggested they follow her, knowing well that Sora would have found himself trailing after her absentmindedly.

Riku let out a sigh and shook his head. “She’s going to make something again. The last time she came back down from here she had a crown of flowers in her hands. That’s probably what she plans on doing.”

“Hmm, that seems more lonely than fun. She’s all by herself.” Sora pursed his lips, his nose scrunching up. He crossed his arms and readjusted his drooping bum with a light hop. “Seems like it’d be better to do with more people.”

Riku raised a brow, then smirked as he realized something important. “You know, if you want to join her nothing’s stopping you. We can go back to the play island any old time.”

“But it feels like if I go over now, I’d be like- I don’t know- I’d um make her mad…”

“Mad?”

“You always say I talk too much. Kairi seems a bit scared when I do that.” Sora looked down at his fidgeting toes. “Still, I think she’s lonely.”

“She just doesn’t know much about us yet. And well you do talk a lot. My dad says sometimes though that just being near someone without saying anything is enough.” Riku crossed his arms, and nodded, certain his father’s words were true.

“Really Riku?”

“Yeah, Really.” Riku put a hand on Sora’s head and gave his hair a quick ruffle. “Now, no more waiting!” Riku placed both hands on Sora’s back and pushed him forward- not even worried if he would fall over on his face. Usually, he did, and Sora had to brace himself for a fall that didn’t come. Instead, he found himself balancing on one foot and staring into the wide cerulean eyes of a frightened girl.

*.*.*.*

When a rustling bounded behind her Kairi gasped and found herself on her feet, her hands clutched close to her chest. A familiar head of spikes was what first caught her eyes, then the twigs and leaves sticking out every-which-way, followed by the shy grin of a boy caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“Geez, Sora! You scared me!” Kairi tucked her hair behind her ear as if she were suddenly aware of her own messy mop.

“Sorry, Kairi! Me and Riku were just…” Sora paused to look behind him. Not a soul was in sight. “Aw man, where’d he go? We were just talking about…ugh never mind.” Sora stood up straight and puffed out his chest as he shook the stray twigs and leaves from his head. Once he was done, he placed both hands behind his head. “So…what-cha doing?”

“Making flower crowns…” Kairi mumbled under her breath, feeling herself carefully enunciate each word. Sora was nice, after all, he was the one who found her on the beach that day. But a part of her felt scared, nervous, and a bit rumbly in her tummy when she talked to him. He was always so bright, and his grin was wider than his face. Kairi didn’t know how to be around him. Kairi turned her back to him and smoothed the ends of her dress.

“Okay.” Sora uttered. He continued to stare at her, unmoved until she decided to sit back down among her work. As she picked more flowers, she began to take more glances over at Sora. He watched her intently, swaying from side to side on the edges of his sandals. He stayed that way for a beat then promptly plopped down next to her. Kairi’s breath hitched in her throat at the sudden invasion in her little bubble. But Sora didn’t say anything, although his face was twisted into an unnatural frown, alerting her he really did want to say something.

Kairi tried her best to get back to her crown, but she fumbled with shaky fingers as she tied the tiny stems together. Her lips moved into a fine line, her teeth biting down into the corners of her cheeks. Again, soon she became lost in the motions, not even noticing Sora get up and go look around. Moments later he dropped back down next to her, this time, with a handful of clovers.

“It’s really pretty.” Sora blurted out. His eyes were wide, expectant.

A shivering jolt went through her back, and Kairi shyly looked back down at her completed crown. He said it was pretty, what she made. A slight hint of pride wafted through her chest. “Thanks…”

“I-I want one too!” Sora’s voice was louder than he intended, for Kairi almost fell back at the sudden noise. She made sure to quickly put on a smile for the boy looked almost as if he would cry if he knew she was scared.

“Okay, I’ll teach you.” Kairi found a new strength in her voice. She was more confident now. A voice inside her heart, but from where she didn’t know, whispered caressing words.

Whenever you feel lonely, look to the flowers. Surround yourself with them, let them take root in your heart. Every moment may seem small, but you can make them bigger and more beautiful. For those moments when you’re alone, the flowers will remind you of me and of those who love you. That light in your heart will continue to bloom and grow, as long as you let it. Adorn your head with a crown of flowers, my dear. Adorn the head of the one you love. Find that light, never lose sight of it.

  Notes:

Thank you for reading! This fic was inspired by the prompt King and Queen for SoKai Week 2021. Visiting Sora and Kairi's childhood and what they meant to each other during that time was pure joy. I hope that this little bundle of fluff reminds you of the wonder of picking flowers as a child, and how even the smallest acts of kindness can mean the world to someone else. I tried to add in some of Sora's flowers from his herbarium by super groupies as well as flowers that spoke to his personality. Fun fact: Clover flowers were something that I would gather when I was a child, and luckily they do grow at least in Hawaii at high elevations, so it's possible they could be on the mainland in Destiny Islands!

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#sokaiweek2021 #sokaiweek #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts fanfiction #sokai #sora and kairi #kairi #sora #kingdomheartsfanfiction #KH #kingdomhearts

[kessielrg]

[Kingdom Hearts] Old Habits, New Reasons

Summary: Three times in which Namine shies away from social functions just to draw, and the one time someone joined her. [oneshot][character study][NamiXi if you really wanna squint][also Namiku if you squint a little less]

Rating: K

Word Count: 3,469 words

If you liked this story, please reblog!

---

Their question had thrown Namine off slightly. She sheepishly looked down at her small sketchbook as if it could answer the question for her. The white page stared back at her in silence.

A part of Namine knew this would happen eventually. There was always that fear that someone would follow her, ask her what she was doing, and then tell her to rejoin the others. But that wasn't what they were asking, was it? They wanted to know why she was drawing. It was a simple question, and it was a bit odd that someone would have lugged a caboodle of art supplies with them to a banquet.

"Well?" the other girl asked. "Is there someone who would get mad you're drawing, even if you did it around your friends?"

"I don't think so." Namine decided, slowly. "But sometimes... it's just easier to draw without other people around you. And sometimes, when people find out that you're good at something, they make you do that something for them. It's not very fun."

"Do you always leave to draw, though?"

At first, Namine wanted to disagree with all her heart. But in introspection, it was more of a vice than she cared to admit. She loved drawing, but didn't like others watching her as she did it. When did that happen, she wondered. That didn't used to be the case...

"Sometimes." Namine finally said. She held her sketchbook a bit tighter before adding, "But only on certain occasions."

"Like?"

Namine looked over at the other girl with curiosity. She was greeted with a look just as inquisitive as her own. Maybe even more so. There was a genuine interest; that much was certain. Maybe there was a budding artist in their midst?

"Well..." she carefully said, moving her sketchbook a bit to flip through the earlier pages, "There was this one time..."

. . .

It was a small comfort that, while she wasn't a Keyblade wielder herself, the others considered her when they all got together. She still made sure that her presence didn't disturb anyone. Being quiet and observant was Namine's most reliable vice. That, and drawing. There wasn't much else she knew how to do. Her time as a Nobody barely ranged a year, and after that she was placed safely inside Kairi's heart until recently. Being a Somebody was... confusing, to say the least.

Being asked to join in on a slumber party with Kairi and Xion had been a surprise- perhaps even more so because Master Aqua herself gave her the invitation. Namine certainly didn't expect it to take place in the Land of Departure either. The world seemed far too grand to her -far too important in the history of Keyblade wielders- that it could be used for anything beyond a training arena. She was proven wrong after entering the Great Hall with Kairi. Aqua had given them a spot in front of the thrones, already decorated with sleeping bags for all four of them and a small assortment of snacks.

"I've never got to have a proper slumber party before, since it was me and Terra for most of our childhoods." Aqua admitted at some point. "Feels weird having one with you guys now. I feel like a mom."

It was Xion who, without skipping a beat, cheerfully declared, "And you're the best one I'll never have!"

"Xion!" both Aqua and Kairi declared, each with their own level of bewilderment. Namine only offered a stifled laugh. So proud at their reactions, Xion gave them all a smile so big, it almost rivaled Sora's.

After that, they started to talk about various things since they all met together. Apparently everyone's training was going rather well. Kairi was beginning to get a handle of second tier elemental magic, while Xion was working on personal techniques on and off for the past week. It was around this time that Namine politely excused herself from the others. They had been so caught up in their conversation that they didn't even notice.

Namine went to where she and Kairi had placed their personal things to find her caboodle. The caboodle was a neat little box with drawers that opened the same time she opened the lid. She was able to put all her art supplies in it. Most of them, anyway- her normal sketchbook was too large to fit. Instead, she used a smaller pad that was placed where the mirror in the caboodle was. Once Namine made sure she had everything, she carefully found a spot far enough away from the others so she could draw them. It honestly wasn't very far, but it was still far enough away that the other three didn't really notice her. That was fine. If anything, it was perfect.

The sounds of the others almost masked the sound of her pencil against paper. Spending most of her life locked away with nothing but drawing to distract her gave Namine a slight skill in speed drawing. However, she took her time when she started to work on her friends. She wanted as much detail as she could.

But she didn't bother to sketch her own sleeping bag. She tried to tell herself that it was because it ruined the composition. But deep down she knew it was because she didn't fit with the others, and so it didn't need to be included.

Namine finished her drawing without the others ever knowing she was gone. She placed everything back in her caboodle, then went back as Kairi went into a long story about Tidus and Wakka back on the islands. It was nice; the sounds of friendship. Namine had been the first to go to sleep that night.

. . .

At first, the only response she got was a quiet, "Oh..."

"It was a really fun time!" Namine quickly insisted. "And it really was a treat to be included."

"But you drew yourself out."

Namine flinched slightly. "It worked out better that way. From the angle I was at, it would have looked weird because I had the really light sleeping bag, and everything was so dark anyway..."

The other girl only looked more guilty.

"Do you still have the picture?" she wondered.

"I think so." Namine agreed. She adjusted herself so she could better go through her sketchbook before flipping through the earlier pages. "Here," she then offered as she handed it over.

There was a small hum as the other ran her fingers over the drawing. Namine had made deliberate choices in lighting around the three Keyblade wielders- light coming off of them as if they were lighting up the whole room. If you looked ever closer, you could see the detail of the castle's floor, and even make out the silhouettes of the three thrones in the background.

"Does anyone know that you go somewhere away from everyone to draw?" the other girl asked, handing the sketchbook back to Namine.

Namine gave a fond, almost bashful smile.

"There is someone..."

. . .

"There's a lot of people here." Namine noted as she tried to look over the crowd. Riku wasn't making the same amount of effort. Instead, he just casually looked on with a hand at his hip. Curse him being a full head taller than she was.

"Aqua said that Disney Town holds the Dream Festival every year." Riku agreed with a small nod. "Can't be that easy since Queen Minnie has almost been reigning the kingdom alone for the past few years. The effort is definitely amazing though."

Namine agreed with a nod and a small noise of affirmation. Disney Town looked absolutely splendid for the festival. All the colors, and the smells, and the energy was enough to put anyone in a good mood. The grip Namine had on her caboodle tightened slightly. A frown crossed her lips as she considered that there might have been too much commotion. There wasn't a good place to just sit and zone out without some kind of noise maker going off.

Riku must have noticed this. He looked over at her, and quickly saw her firm grip on the caboodle's handle.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave that in the Gummi Ship?" he asked. He even made a mild gesture to the box, which only made Namine hold it closer to her.

"No. I'm going to use it." Namine insisted. "I just... I just need someplace a bit more quiet..."

Riku nodded. He looked up again to see that Queen Minnie had taken the stage. The queen looked as beautiful as always in her formal pink and red ballgown. The jewels on her crown glittered under the multicolored overhead lights. Everyone cheered at seeing her- the love and admiration they had for their leader was enough to be felt from miles away. Minnie was a good queen, there was no contest about that.

As Minnie tried to settle the crowd down so she could speak, Riku bent down a bit to quietly tell Namine something.

"There's a sewage grate somewhere behind us. If you take it, there's a gizmo that will lead you up to one of the buildings overlooking the racetrack. Don't know about you, but a good aerial shot might be something to capture for later."

Namine grinned. "Thank you Riku." she said before giving him a small peck on his cheek. The young Keyblade master's face gleamed with a humble blush as he stood tall again, almost as if he had never moved at all. Namine laughed a bit at it before leaving.

Finding, and getting into, the grate had not been an issue. It did take her awhile to navigate the gizmo, though. But it was all worth it once she got to the top of a particular building. Namine let out a soft 'Oh...' of wonder as she sat down near the edge facing the racetrack. Riku was right- this was a good place to work. If only she was able to use larger sketch paper in her travelling kit.

When she was finished, Namine very quickly tried to find Riku again. She shouted his name after spotting him. He barely had time to turn around before she proudly displayed her new drawing to him.

"Do you think Queen Minnie will like it?" she asked, rather breathlessly.

Riku looked at her before looking down at the drawing. He put on a wide smile before telling her, "She's going to love it. It's perfect."

. . .

That story had brought about a rather brighter mood in the other girl.

"Did Queen Minnie like the drawing?" she asked. "You did give it to her after the festival, right?"

A sense of pride welled in Namine's heart, leading her to sit a bit straighter. "She loved it." she grinned. "She immediately had the brooms take it to the gallery to be expanded and mounted. You should have seen the look on Riku's face. He was as proud as I was, and probably more surprised!"

"I could only imagine." the other girl laughed. "Oh!" she then said, "Have you ever gone someplace with a view so nice that you just couldn't replicate it no matter how hard you tried? It's hard to recreate any atmosphere, in my opinion. I wanna know if you ever tried to as well."

Namine let out a soft hum as she thought about it. She let out a small noise of realization when it came to her.

"I did once before, yes." she agreed. "Since Kairi's parents don't mind me staying with them, I was able to join her, Riku, Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie to a beach party they had. It was still summer vacation, if I remember correctly. And Tidus really wanted to have a girls versus boys match..."

. . .

"Head's up!" Tidus shouted before serving the volleyball over the net.

"Cheater!" Selphie shouted back as Kairi managed to spike the ball back. Tidus only gave a rather sinister cackle back. However, at that point, no one was able to break their concentration just to smack talk each other.

Namine watched as Kairi and Selphie worked against Tidus and Riku in a rather well matched volleyball tourney. Wakka wasn't too far away- he had lost a bet earlier and had to make food for everyone. The smell of pineapples and fish hung in the air. It was the warmth of the midday sun that Namine loved the most. The feeling enveloped its way around her like a comforting hug. She let out a soft sigh as she got a bit more comfortable.

The sudden urge to draw made her fingers twitch.

This wasn't a good spot for it, though. She was too close to the others for anything but sand to get onto the paper than color. As much as she loved watching the volleyball match, it was still a bit too distracting. Namine started to get up and casually looked around for a better spot to draw. It didn't take long for her eyes to train to a crow's nest not far from the shore. It was part of a large treehouse that seemed to encompass the island. She looked back at her friends for a moment before quietly leaving them. If anyone noticed she was going, they certainly didn't question her about it.

After getting herself situated at the higher point, Namine found herself gaping at the scene below her. Her friends happily playing on the beach, the light reflections off the water, and even the island holding the paopu tree providing a view so beautiful, so rich, that she wasn't even aware that she was opening her caboodle at first. Seeing the Destiny Islands through Sora's heart was nothing compared to the real thing. Was it possible just to freeze time here and let everything else wash away? She smiled a bit to herself. She did have a way to freeze time, in a way.

The only unfortunate thing was that she wouldn't be able to capture it all. She couldn't encapsulate the smell of the sea, or the sounds of Tidus demanding the girls had leverage over him for some reason. She gave a small smile as she continued to work. Most of her effort was spent trying to reflect the sea around them. A certain impatience came over her as she carefully did each detail. You always had to start with the big stuff, then go down smaller. She was just so eager to capture this moment, anyway she could, that she was always picturing this drawing when it was done.

Namine had to force herself to stop after an hour. Her hands were starting to hurt, and her stomach was growling for food. She cracked her knuckles, barely relieving the tension in them, before putting her stuff away. There would always be time to clean the picture up later. For now, she needed to rejoin her friends.

. . .

And so, we were brought back to our initial setting- the banquet in Radiant Garden.

Namine had thought at first that this would be the perfect opportunity to work on drawing food. But the actual banquet itself had a lot more activity than she was anticipating. There were too many people at the tables to have space to stand at for a few minutes, and she had tried to get a plate for herself to take elsewhere- the allure of delectable aromas wouldn't let her go far without wolfing everything down. So she decided to get a higher view.

To her luck, there was a balcony overlooking the main area. It wasn't blocked off or anything, so Namine quietly crept her way to the top. She found a place to carefully overlook the area and found herself at awe. Even if she was aware that someone was behind her, she probably wouldn't have known it at first.

"Namine!" a voice suddenly said in surprise. Namine jumped a good foot before turning her attention to the newcomer. She relaxed a little when she found it was just Xion.

"Xion..." the blonde girl sighed. "It's just you."

"Am I interrupting you? I'm sorry. I'm not interested in food, and the boys are really going at it, so I really wanted to do this writing exercise where you describe an atmosphere, and..."

"No, no, no. You're fine." Namine insisted. She moved her stuff a bit before gesturing for Xion to sit down next to her. "Here," she offered, "Sit next to me. The view is nice from this area."

Xion smiled in thanks before carefully sitting down. She looked out over the balcony and gasped.

"You're right, this is a good view!" Xion marveled. Her eyes expanding in wonder. "This is the perfect place for Ebba to plant a listening device onto an enemy!"

"Ebba?" Namine wondered. "Who's Ebba?"

At Namine's confusion, Xion's face lit up in a deep scarlet.

"She's my... I think Pence called it 'self-insert.' It's a character that's based on me, but sometimes has a few differences. I've based most of the stories I write on stuff I did in the Organization. It's helped a lot with trying to cope with it. You know?"

Namine shrunk a little. "Yeah..." she agreed in a tiny voice.

"But it's real fun too!" Xion told her, trying to divert the heavy topic a bit. "I base everyone in story with someone in real life! You should see the guy I based on Xemnas... I do a lot of mean things to him."

Namine let out a small chuckle. But then a thought occurred to her.

"You based the characters in your story on us?"

"Of course I did!" she happily declared, her blush growing a bit, besides. "Roxas is Lucas, Master Aqua is head knight Meikai, I even have Pluto as the brave pup Mercury!"

"Do... Do you have someone based on me?"

Xion paused for a moment. Her face going still. However, just as quickly, her smile came back as wide as ever.

"Not yet, but I can!" she decided. She hummed a bit as she thought it over some more. "But I don't have to if you don't want to. I think I'll call her... Syrena."

"Syrena..." Namine hummed in thought. She then gave a bright smile in appreciation. "I like it."

"Great!" Xion beamed. She let out a rather contented sigh before asking, "What about you? Why did you come here?" She looked down at Namine's sketchpad and art supplies for a moment then added, "Did you come all this way just to draw?"

After some hesitation, Namine told her. Carefully, and in her own time. Xion listened intently- only asking questions when Namine was done relating a certain day. When the subject came back around to where they were, Xion seemed to understand much better.

"I get it now." she said.

"You do?" Namine wondered.

Xion gave a thoughtful little nod before explaining, "It's easier for you to draw when it's more quiet. That was how it was before. I think it's great that you're still drawing, even though you started because you were held hostage by the Organization. But the Organization didn't give you the skill you have, Namine. That’s all your own. Kinda like how writing is my special thing. We have ways to just... be ourselves, you know? It's comforting. It's like knowing that, even though we didn't start out in this world with our own goals or ideals, we can make them on our own now. We're free now, Namine. Free to do whatever we want."

Namine absently hugged her sketchbook. "I like that thought." she admitted. "I never really saw it that way before, either. Drawing is something that I know I can do. Something that won't harm others. But you are right- it's what makes me... me. Thank you."

Xion grinned. A wide, bright grin that could have lit up a room. It gave Namine an idea.

"What does Ebba look like?" she questioned, at the same time she pulled out one of her sketching pencils. "Does she look just like you, or are there a lot of differences?"

There was a moment of confusion on Xion's face, then a bright flicker of joy. Not a second after, she burst into a long babble about her character. She even used her arms to illustrate certain concepts and mannerisms. Namine laughed, and did her best to keep up. Xion was so passionate about her characters- it almost made Namine jealous. For the next few hours, Namine did a blend of Xion's idea for Ebba, while Xion herself got to writing about how Ebba got to meet a new acquaintance; a mysterious girl named Syrena, who -while mostly shy- was very well loved.

#kingdom hearts #kh namine #namine #kingdom hearts fanfiction #kh fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #kh fan fic #fan fiction #fan fic #xion #kh xion #riku #kh riku #implied namixi #implied namiku #oneshot #one shot #writers on tumblr #no beta

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

KH-OC Week - Catch Up: Day 5 - (5 AUG 2021)

@khoc-week

The prompt I am doing for this one is 'Memory'. I thought this was just going to be a little diary entry simulation, but I ended up getting carried away and made a little fictional piece out of it. This does not necessarily follow my IRL existence and my dream avenues, this piece is more a completely imaginative fiction (incorporates only some aspects of stories from dreams); and what it would be like if I had a more concrete position, like living there for significant periods of time.

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Diary Entry Written: 8 AUG 2021 (8:08 PM)

Words: 1,652

As I sit here in isolation, thinking about how lonely it is here in the house, I remember all the times I spent with Riku and his friends, who are in turn my friends, and this makes me happy. All of a sudden I don’t feel so alone anymore, and as the memories replay, it’s like the people in them are actually with me; we are experiencing these moments all over again.

At the start, it was hard as I tried to introduce myself to a new world of people and vice-versa. I would tell Riku about myself, and it seemed like he was listening, but a few hours went by, and it’s like he forgot what I had told him… Sort of like he didn’t care, but then I knew Riku wasn’t naturally like this. At the time, I was new, and with Riku having redeemed himself from the darkness, I guess his insecurities were… Protecting him in a way; he did not want to be deceived again. It’s always hard at the start when I know exactly the person I want to show to others, but that they may not perceive me the way I perceive me. I knew exactly how Riku felt, which why I thought to myself, “Just be kind”, because in truth, it’s sometimes actions that speak louder than words.

So I took it upon myself to look out for Riku’s friends when he himself couldn’t be there, or if he was there but he was caught up in another matter. I recall the first thing I did for one of those ‘guardians of light’, so they are called. Xehanort had gotten the best of Sora, shattering him into a million pieces (emotionally), as he was made to watch Xemnas almost incapacitate Kairi. I yelled to Kairi, “Why aren’t you using your keyblade? You have one!”. Of course at the time, Kairi didn’t know who I was, and so she was hesitant to follow my advice. But just as Xemnas was about to make her take her last breath, it seems like Kairi knew what I was on about, and fear was turned into common sense. I continued to yell from the bottom of the plateau; “you get into these situations because people think you can’t fight for yourself!”.

As Riku was busy trying to keep himself from being dominated by Ansem, he looked over at Kairi’s direction with a sort of slant in his face. He himself didn’t know that I was standing below, he could only be confused by the voice he was hearing, but then I think that in Riku’s heart, he agreed that Kairi needed to become stronger and stand up for herself more… Because others won’t always be around. As Kairi swiped the keyblade, Xemnas was launched back, with a shocked look on his face like he didn’t even think the girl could do it. Both Sora and Riku looked at each other, and then to Kairi, with a look of amazement as they saw that she pried herself from Xemnas.

I skip to after that battle, where I heard Kairi say to them, “I probably wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for that girl”. Sora had answered, “No Kairi, it was all you. See, you do have in you, and for that, I’m proud of you”. Kairi stopped him, “But that voice, it helped me a lot”. Riku was curious and so he peered through a wall of the graveyard ruins, and he could see me walking away as I felt I had done my job. A few of these moments, and down the track, Riku began to trust me and see that I meant no harm. Rather than pushing me away and only what I thought was him pretending to care, he took more of an interested and asked me what I wanted when he noticed that I wanted or needed something.

Six months later, and Riku is the father figure I never would have dreamed of back then. And back then I thought I could never show that I was weak, or he would become uncomfortable with such thoughts and push me away. But then he later would accept me for who I am, and he said that is was okay for me to be weak. As my dream guide, he told me that it’s impossible for a person to be strong all the time, and when the cracks show, that it’s no problem to rely on others to build us up. Though Riku did admit that he himself wasn’t perfect, and that some of the messages he shared with me were inspired by Sora’s way of thinking. Riku would tell me stories of the time he and Sora spent together, and he said that he loved Sora very much… But then Riku also admitted that he had a place for me as well, as he did for all his friends.

Down the track, Riku encouraged me to meet his other friends. In Twilight Town, he introduced me to Roxas, Lea and Xion. At first, Roxas didn’t seem too convinced that I was trustworthy, but after a few rods from Riku, Roxas was able to see. I remember telling Roxas that I was aware of all his trauma from the events of KH-Days and KH2, and I said to Roxas that if there was a way for me to bring him back in time so that he never had to go through such a thing, I would. In-fact that’s when I said to any guardian of light who had been through some sort of deep darkness. That if I had the power to change things, I would.

And this is in-fact how I became closer to Terra. Because of all that Terra had been through with Xehanort, he initially thought I was trying to lead him on. However, I understood exactly why Terra wasn’t convinced, and from Riku encouraging me and standing in the same room as I spoke, I told Terra that I understood exactly why. I stated that I witnessed everything that Xehanort did thanks to the accounts of KH-BBS, and I said that I would never wish that on anybody. I said to Terra that I wanted to see him enjoy his life, and that I would be a good friend who would do anything to help him get back the joy that he missed out on for 11 years.

So when I could go on a mission with Riku, I would. But the mission would be so dangerous that Riku wouldn’t let me go no matter how strong I claimed to be, Terra was always the first person he took me to, and in turn Terra would always be the first one to offer to look after me on Riku’s behalf. And then even in a streak of no missions, I lived with Riku on the islands, but I would occasionally go for sleepovers at the Land of Departure.

Aqua and Ventus would sometimes spend time with us, but everybody understood that Terra was my special connection to that place. So as Aqua would have bonding time Ventus, Terra would have it with me. I remember once, I brought a couple of canvas over as I wanted to see if Terra could paint. He didn’t have that steady-a-hand, and unfortunately he ended up making a bit of a mess, but we could make out that the painting was of him, Aqua and Ventus.

I ended up painting a picture of me, with the Land of Departure in the background, holding my Spirit of Brigid keyblade. Why did I decide to draw this keyblade? Firstly, I thought it fit the royal aesthetic of the place. But secondly, I had this memory while painting. The first time I picked up that keyblade, I didn’t realised it was serving as a music box as I heard the school song playing from within the metal! I remember I had to actually slap the keyblade, and that’s when the music stopped and I could use it as a keyblade and not a darn radio. In-fact these days, when the Spirit of Brigid plays the school song, Riku laughs, and he sometimes even slaps the keyblade for me.

So after I spent the night and/or day with Terra, Riku would come to collect me, and Terra would tell him what a great time we had, and if Terra actually had fun. And then Riku would take me home, back to the islands. That same evening, we would walk along the beach, and Riku would ask me for my perspective on the stay. And sometimes, depending on what I told Riku, he would turn my experience into lessons and give me further advice or insights into life.

I would ask how Riku’s missions went, but sometimes he wouldn’t say much. I knew he still kept some things to himself, but at the same time, I understood. It’s not because he couldn’t trust me. Instead, it was more because he likely wouldn’t wish his experiences on me, or something really bad happened to him that he just had to keep it inside. However, for as long as I was under Riku’s roof, even on our bad days, we would always end the night and start the new day together. We slept in his bed, and he’d have his arm over me, ready to comfort me if I had any nightmares.

So yes I may be trapped in my own house, outside the KH world at the moment. But when I think about the day that Riku took me in; Lea and Roxas taking me out for ice-cream whenever I visited Twilight town; Terra babysitting me, and having the delicious dinners that Aqua made, it’s like there with me at this very moment, and I know I’ll be back to see them soon.

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Hope you enjoyed reading that piece! Now to race to get Day 6 and 7 out in a reasonable time-frame so it isn't too late outside the week. Day will contain a special drawing that I trying to finish. Day 7 may be another written piece.

#khocweek2021 #kingdom hearts #kh #oc #dreamer #karla #riku #kh riku #dream guide #sora #kh sora #kairi #kh kairi #xehanort #xemnas #terra #kh terra #aqua #kh aqua #ventus #kh ventus #roxas #kh roxas #lea #kh lea #xion #kh xion #friends #memories #connections

[phoenix-downer]

The Princess of Light Chapter 5: A Grieving Prince

~1840 words. Angst, Romance, Fluff, Fairy Tales. For SoKai Week 2021, Day 5.

Summary: Princess Kairi is cursed to be without love when she is a baby. She grows up cold and without a heart to help her understand other people’s feelings, no matter how hard her parents try to help her. One day, however, she meets a mysterious prince from a faraway world, and he just might hold the key to breaking her curse.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Fairies age much more slowly than humans, so when the king and queen met with the Violet Fairy about what was happening, she hardly looked a day older than she had at Princess Kairi’s christening. They were in her little house at the edge of the castle town, which was surrounded by the prettiest violets and forget-me-nots you’d ever seen. Most fairies preferred seclusion, but the Violet Fairy liked living near people and letting children play in her garden. 

Right now, however, the garden was full of royal guards. The Violet Fairy set dainty tea cups containing her famous violet tea out for her royal guests. Nothing helps a difficult conversation like some nice, warm tea, a principle the fairy lived and swore by. Once the king and queen were sipping their tea and the guards also each had a cup, she sat down to discuss why they had come.

“To answer your question, Your Majesties,” she began, “I suspect the light is draining from the pool because the Heart of the World has been injured.”

This news alarmed the king. If the Heart of the World was injured, the very world itself might die, and as its guardian and ruler, he had to do something about it. 

“But how?” the queen asked. “The Heart is buried deep underground and has a series of enchantments protecting it from harm.” 

“That may be,” the Violet Fairy said, “but the very strongest, wickedest types of dark magic might have found a way around those protections. Otherwise the pool wouldn’t be draining.” At this she turned to the king. “Fairies are forbidden from learning such magic because it would corrupt us like it has corrupted your sister, so I cannot say what has happened exactly, but that is my best guess.”

“Maleficent,” the king spat. “Of course. This has to be her doing. She despises Kairi and always has.”

The queen nodded. “We think she’s jealous of Kairi because Kairi will be queen someday. No matter how far we banish Maleficent, she keeps tormenting us.”

“My advice to you would be to find the Heart of the World as soon as possible,” the Violet Fairy said. “See if it is indeed wounded. If so, then you must search for some way to save it, or the very world will die, along with your daughter.”

The king and queen sent a group of soldiers to check on the Heart of the World in its cavern underground. When they reached it, the Violet Fairy’s hunch proved to be true: the Heart of the World was indeed smaller and less vibrant than it had been before, and that only happens if it has been wounded. So the king and queen ordered for every inch of Radiant Garden to be searched for a way to restore it. In the end a group of children found the answer, as it had washed up on the shore of Radiant Garden’s only sea. It was a small lucky charm, and it was made up of five thalassa shells. A curious sight indeed, for thalassa shells were native to Destiny Islands, not Radiant Garden.

On the lucky charm was engraved the following: 

Should the Heart of the World beat slow

And the light of the earth cease to flow

There is only one way to make things right

A young man must pour out his light 

Pour and pour till his heart beats no more

Only then will light flow from river to shore

The words of the lucky charm made the king and queen very sad. They didn’t want to ask anyone to die, but the world was doomed if they did not, and Kairi would surely die as well. The king wanted to offer himself up, but he didn’t fit the description, and neither did the queen. 

So it was with heavy hearts they made the announcement and sent the proclamation throughout Radiant Garden. A day went by, and not a single person volunteered. Two days, and Kairi’s condition took a turn for the worse. On the third day, the king retreated to the woods where the royal family owned a cottage to think about what to do. 

Now, Prince Sora had gone home to speak to his parents about how to help Princess Kairi. He was shocked to return to Radiant Garden to find the entire world in a state of mourning as the light pool shrank to a puddle while the hole in Kairi’s chest grew bigger and bigger and her skin colder and colder. 

He went to the inn where he’d stayed the first time, and on the door he saw the proclamation from the king and queen. With trembling hands he pulled it down and wandered into his room as if in a daze. No matter how many times he read the proclamation, his mind still spun and his heart pounded in his chest.

“I can’t let her die. If she dies, life is hardly worth living. But if I die,” at this Sora’s voice cracked a little, for he saw no way out of it; till his heart beats no more seemed rather clear, “she, along with the rest of the people of this world, will be saved.” His hand curled around the proclamation. “I’ve made up my mind, then. I’ll talk to her parents about being the sacrifice.”

This was how Sora ended up at the king’s cottage in the woods after the sun had set. The autumn breeze made him shiver after experiencing the warmth of his home world, but he steeled his nerves and knocked on the wooden door.

“Who goes there?” the king asked, rather irritably, for anything that wasn’t helping him solve his daughter’s dire state was a nuisance at best. 

When he opened the door, he was quite surprised to see a young man waiting just outside. Sora bowed low, as was proper when greeting a king. In fact he bowed as low as a servant would bow. He lowered himself to his hands and knees and bent his head, for he wanted to show how serious he was about saving Princess Kairi.

“Your Majesty, my name is Sora, and I have an offer to make.” 

At this, Sora fell silent, and a few agonizing moments ticked by till the king groaned. “Stop being cryptic and come out with it,” he said at last, pulling Sora to his feet. “My daughter is dying, the world’s in danger, and I haven’t got all day.” 

“Your dying daughter is why I’m here,” Sora said quietly. “I heard you need someone to restore the Heart of the World.”

“Are you offering?” the king asked, raising an eyebrow.

“On one condition.”

The king nearly lost his temper completely, for he couldn’t understand why Sora wouldn’t just put out all of his terms at once when the circumstances were so dire. “Out with it, boy!”

“I’d like Princess Kairi to keep me company as I give up my light.”

The king’s eyes widened; this was not the sort of request he’d been expecting. Bold of the boy to ask, but his voice was unwavering, and he refused to look away.

“And if it’s not too much to ask,” Sora continued, his voice growing stronger with every word, “I’d like her to tend to me when I’m hungry and thirsty. I want to make sure I… survive long enough to complete the ritual.” 

Restoring the Heart of the World sounded like it would be a very grueling task, because Sora knew the Heart must be much larger than his own. Would his light be enough, or would he fail? There was only one way to find out, and he wanted to make sure he made enough preparations to see this through.

“That can be arranged,” the king said, for he was not about to turn away his one shot at saving his daughter and his kingdom. “We can send food and drink down into the cavern where the Heart of the World is. After you begin the ritual, Kairi will feel better, and she can tend to you as you’ve requested. I doubt she’ll have any objections.” 

“Oh, I think she’d rather be in her light pool,” Sora said with a rueful smile. “But if you ask her to keep me company, I think she’ll say yes. She thinks very highly of you and of her mother the queen.”

Now, you mustn’t fault Sora for despairing a little, as it is a bitter thing indeed to die for someone you know doesn’t love you back. Sora was ready and willing to do so, but a part of him still wished Kairi would return his affection. Could return his affection. He remembered that night he tried to explain to her what love was, how she seemed so curious and eager to understand, how she just couldn’t grasp it.

“I know it’s because of her curse,” Sora said, his voice low and his heart heavy, “but I wish… ah, nevermind. I’d die without her, but she’ll live happily without me. That’s just… how things are.”

The king thought he saw tears shining in Sora’s eyes, though he couldn’t say for sure. He’d been silent up till now because he was beginning to grasp why Sora would be willing to do this when no one else would, and the thought of sending this poor young man to die… 

Then he thought of Kairi’s cold, stiff form as his sister’s curse ate away at her. Thought about leaving her to die to spare this young man. Sora himself had said he’d rather die than let that happen, so the king could hardly stop him. Nor did he want to if it meant Sora’s sacrifice would save his daughter.

“Thank you for doing this for her,” he said to Sora. “For all of us.”

Sora nodded. “I’ll go to the cavern tomorrow morning.”

The king returned to his wife and daughter and explained that someone had volunteered to save Kairi. She perked up for the first time in days when she heard that the light would be returned to her pool. She was so sick that she didn’t register that it would be due to another person giving up his light; all she could think about was feeling better. The king and queen were relieved too, relieved that their daughter would be spared and the world saved.

Sora felt the opposite of relieved and slept very poorly, but he was driven by a quiet determination to see this through. He awoke the next morning and put on his best clothes, clothes befitting a prince, for if he was going to die, he wanted to die like a king.

With that, he set out for the cave where the Heart of the World was located. When he reached it, he took one last look at the world around him. One last look at the sun and clouds and sky. Then he took a deep breath and lowered himself into the cavern.

#sokai #sokaiweek #sokaiweek2021 #sora #kairi #kingdom hearts #kh fanfiction #phoenix writes #phoenix-downer #angst #romance #fairy tale #fairy tales #the light princess #inspired by the light princess #the princess of light #chapter 5 #long post

[olivemeister]

OKAY NEO THOUGHTS NOW THAT I’VE BEATEN IT AND HAD TIME TO MARINATE. no spoilers for another day bc i haven’t finished it yet, but i did go “no, why shan’t i? i have the internet” and watched the secret endings on youtube so those and the secret reports will be discussed. yeah. so here’s some thoughts. i’m going to talk a lot about the more contentious things, i think. and again i haven’t finished another day so nothing to do with that, but of course major ending spoilers for the main scenario.

these are my opinions both as a writer and a media consumer, so there’s kinda two levels here. it is very freeform “as i think of it” structurally so my sincerest apologies if it’s all over the place. i am trying to keep specific topics confined rather than splattering the same plot point/whatever all through the post, but it’s not like i’m posting a peer-revied academic essay here. it’s also fucking enormous and i would say sorry but that would be a lie.

the majority of the game, i actually really enjoyed. the localization was excellent and i can’t praise it enough. i know people threw fits over the “horrible overstep” of... teenagers using slang. but did you know, in real life, teenagers use slang? even in japan, there’s slang? wild but true! the dialogue was great, and while i can’t say much re: the jp cast since i played in english, the newcomers for the english cast were spectacular. i actually think the newcomers were, in some cases, stronger than the returning cast. even in characters where i didn’t like the voice (nagi had to grow on me, i admit it), they were a fantastic match for the character’s personality.

the emotional beats re: character deaths, typically, landed the way i think the writers wanted; kanon’s death in week 3 had me devastated even though i could see it coming a mile away. i think that’s a testament to the best parts of the writing; as soon as i understood how the current game was being run, i knew it was fairly inevitable that every other team would eventually lose. odds would be that, barring something like someone changing teams or a team merger, the majority of the other teams would be completely wiped out. i knew far in advance that kanon would likely not make it to the end of the story, but it still fucked me up when it finally happened not just because i cared about kanon, but also because of how much the other characters cared about her. some character deaths affected me far less, of course. i think kanon was the epitome of “this hit exactly as hard as the writers wanted it to”, but i do feel they fell short with others. ayano’s lack of development really hurt my ability to be saddened by her death, especially when it was so clear that she set up her own possession as a trap for shoka. it undermined things for shoka in general, because while she was devastated to lose ayano, the game did a poor job at making their relationship tangible and meaningful. i felt worse (not necessarily sadder, just worse) about motoi’s death, and i didn’t like motoi. speaking of him...

the biggest issue i have with the game is a chronic square enix issue. kubo is the Man Pulling The Strings, whatever, this is fine. the problem is that he, minamimoto, motoi, and arguably susukichi are the only characters in the game with dark skin. they are all morally grey at best. i don’t think i need to elaborate on why this is an issue. we’re not going to pretend that racism and colorism don’t exist in japan. i’m just going to say that all of the dark-skinned characters are either totally evil, excessively violent, and/or morally dubious. this is my biggest qualm, but i don’t feel it needs more elaboration. yes, i know motoi turns it around in the end. yes, i know susukichi ultimately changes sides as well, and he’s ultimately portrayed as sympathetic. minamimoto is........ his own beast. but the fact remains that we don’t get a single major character who’s darker and unambiguously heroic.

second big issue is that while i understand the decision to keep shiki off camera until the very end for emotional impact, i feel like this was to the detriment of the story and to the detriment of said impact. she was mentioned, sure, and she was briefly seen from the shoulders down in a cutscene long before her introduction, but i feel that this was ultimately for the worse. her absence in the plot made her a borderline non-entity that can easily leave the audience going “why should i care about this?” on what’s supposed to be a huge emotional cathartic moment. yes, people should know this is a sequel and neku and shiki’s friendship was a crucial part of the original game, and much of the endgame of neo makes no sense if you’re unfamiliar with the original, but their interactions in the ending felt incredibly shallow. and i think this is because of how little shiki appears and how isolated she is from her other friends. eri is unseen and unmentioned. she doesn’t interact with rhyme. she hardly interacts with beat, using him as a translator at best. her other relationships are just... stagnant at best, ignored at worst, and despite having had just as vital of a role in the first game as beat did, she does nothing of import onscreen. her only narrative actions are “fix mr mew (mentioned but not seen)” and “be sad about neku”. so, functionally...

for some reason (we know why) the story decided that the only thing that was important to shiki was seeing neku. but by holding off on this reveal of her, we lost the impact that their meeting could have had. because the game refused to show her it didn’t show how much his absence was affecting her, which leaves their reunion feeling incredibly hollow. shiki was gone for upwards of 90% of the game. if not for the first game, this reunion would mean nothing; the narrative does a terrible job of reminding the audience that neku and shiki have a strong relationship and i don’t know if it’s that they expected the first game to have done the heavy lifting, or they thought that what neo gave us was good rather than “good enough”. imo this was an enormous failure and i wish we had gotten more for her both as part of the plot and as a character.

this was an issue present with rhyme as well imo, though to a lesser degree. i think they should have given up the ghost much sooner on confirming that the shadowed figure was rhyme; it was obvious by the time they showed us her silhouette, so i don’t know why the narrative held off on showing her. they didn’t have to introduce her to rindo (or give her the name splash screen) yet, but people who played the first game and are paying attention know it’s rhyme, so why bother hiding her? most of what rhyme accomplishes in this game is off-camera as well, but she has double the screen time that shiki gets.

the shiki thing is another symptom of a common squeenix problem these days, which is poorly-handled implied romantic interests. and i think that was also present with how the end of the game treated shoka. rindo and shoka as an implied romance in general did not bother me; more than a lot of squeenix protags, and perhaps primarily because of the excellent job the english cast did, i actually was unbothered by the suggestion of budding romantic feelings because it felt genuine. they actually felt like a pair of teenagers who were starting to be interested in each other, trying to play it cool and prioritize. this, and shoka’s characterization in general, is really helped by the reveal of swallow’s identity; it retroactively heightens her closeness to rindo specifically and offers enormous insight into her decision to help the team covertly. however, i think this budding implied romance was severely undermined by having other characters comment on it, especially because it felt so out of place timing-wise whenever someone commented. it was never warranted; there are times where they seem to be... not flirting, but not doing a good job of pretending there isn’t an interest. this is not when comments come. the comments come when they are having a totally normal interaction that does not suggest any non-platonic feelings whatsoever.

up until the final day, i had fairly ambivalent feelings about the idea of them as the designated hetero pairing. i felt it was a vast improvement from recent shoehorned romances in squeenix properties. the ending made things much more contentious to me, specifically how shoka is vanished by joshua. the audience should at least have the suspicion that he’s reviving her, but the circumstances surrounding it are the problem more than joshua being a deus ex machina. it’s not the first time joshua was a troll re: reviving someone, but the context of why shoka’s revival is necessary is, well... unnecessary.

they barely foreshadow the shinjuku rules re: reapers, and i will freely admit it’s not remotely ooc for shoka to hide something like that until she can’t any more. but they seem to be just a contrived excuse for shoka to be taken away... and from the framing of it, not from the player, but from rindo. which, i don’t know that i need elaborate on why i wasn’t fond of that. and i won’t lie - i know everybody beefed it in those cutscenes, including beat and neku. but when the dissonance noise grabbed shoka it gave me the exact same vibe as the demon tide grabbing kairi in kh3, and i don’t think i need to elaborate more on why that would put a bad taste in my mouth and make me fearful for shoka’s future treatment in the game. i was worried that the narrative was going to yank her away from rindo like a prize being snatched from him, and it did! while i do also think it’s ic for joshua to fuck around the way he did when reviving her, it also seems contrived and brings up a major question.

if shoka is still playing by shinjuku rules, why does shibuya’s composer have the ability to overturn her erasure? yes, i know, shinjuku is gone, but its composer is still active. surely joshua having the authority to do what he did indicates that on a cosmic bureaucracy level, shoka is a shibuya reaper. the secret reports offer a potential that joshua exploited a loophole by waiting until the second after the shinjuku rules resulted in shoka’s soul being dissolved in order to snatch it up, so perhaps the explanation is that her erasure meant she was technically no longer a shinjuku reaper and no longer beholden to its rules. but that doesn’t answer a different question that honestly bothers me more than the admittedly sorta insignificant question of whether or not joshua overstepped in reviving shoka.

shinjuku’s game has ended because shinjuku has ended; why are its rules still in play for former shinjuku reapers? i am aware that shiba is the conductor “legally” and he has made changes to shibuya’s game, but they’re careful to specify that the “ex-reapers are erased at the end of the game” rules are from shinjuku and do not apply to shibuya reapers. is she considered by the higher plane to be joshua’s underling and not hazuki’s? the secret reports confirm that the transfer of personnel from the destroyed shinjuku to shibuya was authorized by the acting conductor (uzuki) and this is standard procedure, everything was done properly. so “legally” the formerly-shinjuku reapers are shibuya reapers, right? hanekoma notes in particular that it’s a culture clash leading to the shinjuku reapers being designated as such and that they’re only nominally shinjuku reapers. why are a defunct game’s rules still active?

the biggest issue is that shoka’s threat of erasure was unnecessary from a narrative perspective, especially given how quickly it’s introduced and resolved. what was the point of putting this in the story if five minutes later the issue is just dealt with, no effort, minimal tension, by a (narratively speaking, don’t come after me joshua fans) minor character who doesn’t even appear until after the plot is resolved? i honestly wonder if it was just the writers deciding joshua needed to do something so that his appearance in the ending wasn’t just shallow fanservice for people who wanted to see the original gang. joshua’s lack of action is also presumably going to be contentious with fans; i’ve read the secret reports, and i don’t feel that they sufficiently justify why he doesn’t make any moves to protect his city despite being positioned both in his own dialogue and the secret reports as someone opposing shibuya’s purification. i will talk about this a little later re: kubo’s motivations though.

i also think it’s kind of stupid that joshua sets up “find her and you win” and then... rindo doesn’t do anything in that regard. he just bumps into her in the scramble. i know i already said i hate the idea of her being a prize to be won in a game but if they’re going to set it up, why make it pointless in that regard? it feels so unnecessary. joshua portrays shoka’s revival/return as something to be earned, and unlike the ending of twewy there’s no recognition that he was actually just fucking with them.

this is similar to my mixed feelings about kubo’s defeat. on one hand, i wanted to smash his face in personally, i have hated him the entire game. on the other hand, having him jesus beamed and rewritten out of existence without any warning or chance to resist was fucking hilarious and i actually laughed out loud. my speculation as to why he didn’t get a boss fight is that developers worried about people having trouble suspending disbelief over the party being able to defeat an angel. ultimately i think the only way this could have been done was to have it be a boss battle where your victory doesn’t matter, like the week 1 fight with susukichi, and have hazuki curbstomp kubo in the post-battle cutscenes. ultimately, i feel like this was a lesser of two evils; i don’t think the “you lose in the cutscene” approach would have necessarily been significantly better than what we got, i recognize that “the battle didn’t matter and you lose in the cutscene after” is a contentious game trope. and i would understand people struggling to accept the cast defeating a being from a higher plane without intervention from said higher plane. the only benefit would be the catharsis of getting to slap kubo around, which admittedly i kind of miss. having him as a secret boss was an option i guess but i think it would bring more questions than it was worth.

kubo’s motivation is also just bizarre; i understand that it’s given as him getting overzealous after carrying out his orders to purify shinjuku, but why? i feel like this could have easily been fixed/rationalized by “shinjuku’s surviving reapers fled to shibuya, leading kubo to consider shibuya to be an extension of shinjuku”, but that’s solely speculation. i do not know why kubo decided to also start an inversion in shibuya. they didn’t give me enough information. his conflict with joshua is inexplicable and almost entirely offscreen via the secret reports. i do not feel like i have a grasp on why the plot of the game even happened. hazuki’s involvement is iffy; i can’t say whether he initially approved of kubo’s overstep and changed his mind, or if he just took his time collecting his errant underling. the secret reports suggest the former, and hanekoma noting that the contentious nature of the previous game’s events gives a speculative explanation for why no action was taken if hazuki was actually making moves against shibuya rather than kubo being out of line. hazuki could damn well have been lying, there’s a precedent for composers being full of shit and telling bold-faced lies to protagonists, though in the previous game these lies were all eventually uncovered. this leaves me to believe that ultimately, hazuki’s statements regarding kubo acting outside of his given authority were mostly honest. but what i don’t understand is why joshua took such a hands-off approach.

yes, he says he figured the main cast had it under control and would have stepped in had things gotten worse, but this appearance and statement comes long after rindo fails and shibuya is destroyed in multiple timelines. why did he not step in in the first timeline? i can speculate, but the game and secret reports do not do a great job in explaining why the proxy vs. proxy game even happened in the first place. kubo is hazuki’s underling, which makes joshua higher in the pecking order than kubo. if hazuki was capable of exorcising kubo instantaneously, why didn’t joshua just flick him off the board like a flea before he even got started trying to cause an inversion in shibuya? in the epilogue of a new day joshua is seen in conversation with hanekoma, who’s taking shinjuku’s inversion seriously, which seems at odds with how easily his fellow composer ends the problem.

retroactively, i guess i could rationalize this as him realizing that either shinjuku’s composer must be responsible for said inversion or that potentially shinjuku’s composer has been compromised in some way. and i can rationalize him failing to immediately jesus beam kubo as well - it’s possible that, as kubo was initially acting under the orders of another composer (assuming hazuki is still technically “legally” one/at the bureaucratic level of one), joshua’s hands were somewhat tied re: what actions he could take without potential consequences. it could be that joshua would get in big trouble if he took disciplinary action against another composer’s underling, but 1. the legal transfer of personnel should mean kubo is joshua’s underling, not hazuki’s, see the shoka problem 2. hazuki’s status as a composer is questionable given that his territory is now purified and its game is defunct 3. given that kubo was acting outside of his original composer’s turf and outside of his initial orders (purify shinjuku) at this point i feel like that isn’t likely. it could be that he was trying to avoid a conflict with hazuki himself. it may be that he considered it hazuki’s responsibility to retrieve kubo, but that’s at odds with him choosing a proxy to combat kubo’s and his claims that he totally would have done something, really, he swears. they don’t give us much info at all as to why joshua entered a game with kubo in the first place. i have reason to believe that something’s fishy in the secret reports, and i would like to see the japanese text, which i’ll mention again in a few paragraphs.

i know the absence of shibuya’s composer is partially, and perhaps primarily, “there wouldn’t be a plot if joshua fixed it”. but it really feels like they just kinda tucked joshua in the corner and hoped fans wouldn’t be like “hey where is shibuya’s composer and why is no one mentioning them?” that part is probably for the same reason we don’t see shiki until the very ending, teasing the audience by holding off on revealing him until the last second, but it’s jarring to me that shiki is mentioned but neither neku, beat, nor any of the reapers (!) think “we should contact the composer”. even if just to say “we can’t contact the composer, he is unreachable”! i guess it’s to avoid people remembering how significant joshua is and thinking too hard about it, because joshua is simply too powerful of a character to be running around freely. the plot falls apart when you have a character who’s so strong and, in his own words, kind of omnipotent, who could trivialize the conflict in an instant if he took action.

i feel like they surely could have given a more explicit reason for him to not be involved in the story, even if it’s a reason like “he’s in trouble with the higher plane”. which could have easily been set up! hanekoma is clear in his reports that shibuya’s impurification is highly contentious in the higher plane; people are big mad about it, potentially people higher in the chain of command than a composer. this could have been easily utilized as an explanation for why joshua is hands-off; he’s on a shit list and needs to step carefully as a result. but it’s just not addressed. hanekoma is unreachable according to his reports, and he notes that people are trying to contact him for help. are we just to assume that people have looked for joshua to ask for help in the past but it was so long ago that it isn’t even worth mentioning now to the newcomers? according to other reports, the higher ups are pissed with joshua about his game with kitaniji and are turning a blind eye to what’s happening with kubo in shibuya as a result. but this doesn’t explain why the members of the shibuya UG never discuss the composer. hanekoma’s reports have him confused as to joshua’s lack of action as well; he knows the context of what’s going on in shibuya but doesn’t understand why joshua is staying silent.

that said! the fact that hazuki’s motive for the destruction of shinjuku is never stated does not bother me too much. he’s placed in a position very parallel to joshua in the first game, and he even says he felt like he was following in josh’s footsteps. when you add his seemingly-genuine inability to understand why people care about shibuya, i feel there’s enough evidence to... not dismiss, but nudge this aside as “He Too is a misanthropic bastard”; shinjuku’s destruction is a parallel to the intended destruction of shibuya in the first game. hazuki just carried on where joshua had a change of heart. the secret reports complicate this; it might be that someone fucked up in transcribing, but the reports i read online state that shibuya’s composer, i.e. joshua, was responsible for the destruction of shinjuku due to a game with kubo. this does not make sense given everything else, including hazuki’s own statements and later reports, so i’m setting that aside for the moment as either an uncaught mistake either in translation or transcription online (most likely) or hanekoma not knowing the actual truth until receiving the post-purification shinjuku reports. hanekoma also suggests that hazuki’s goal was also the purification of shibuya, but as he’s not shibuya’s composer this is certainly not his jurisdiction so i’m curious as to what exactly happened there.

EDIT: i’ve been informed by a helpful anon that this is not a mistranslation, the japanese secret reports do state that it was a game involving joshua that resulted in shinjuku’s inversion. with that in mind, i have figured out how to rationalize this and it solves a lot of problems: if it was a proxy game between joshua and kubo, then joshua must have been the opposition to shinjuku’s inversion. though you could argue that joshua is responsible for the end result, he didn’t destroy shinjuku; his proxy lost, probably because kubo’s had the support of shinjuku’s composer. kubo’s overconfidence in running rampant in shibuya is now explicable and he may have been trying to rub it in that joshua lost.

if hazuki was still backing kubo post-shinjuku, this could explain why hazuki felt he could make decisions about shibuya’s fate and wander around it; joshua had already overstepped onto his turf to meddle in purification, so he was returning the favor. at this point in time, i figure that joshua’s proxy was either tsugumi’s brother (shinjuku’s conductor) or coco (she’s noted to have inexplicable powers for a rank-and-file reaper, but joshua’s opposition to her killing of neku throws this into question), and if we truly had a scrapped “shinjuku’s final game” plot then joshua’s proxy could also have been neku. kubo’s proxy was presumably shiba. this actually answers a few questions that i couldn’t rationalize when i assumed joshua was uninvolved (why would shinjuku’s composer be running a game against kubo when they wanted the same thing?), so i’m gonna chalk it up as an absolute win.

i think hishima as a character was... sort of nothing. he was just there. yeah, it was kinda funny how he dressed shiba down, but i don’t know that the plot needed him. his role in the endgame could have easily been given to tsugumi without much fuss, and i feel tsugumi deserved a much bigger part in the narrative given how much she was hyped up by solo and final remix. she was so prominent and anticipated that the fans called her hype-chan for years before we had a name for her. this could also be folded into the problem with hiding shiki until the very end; it feels like we missed a whole sequence with both of these characters simply because the narrative refused to show us shiki. instead, we’re told that shiki showed up and fixed mr. mew, and somehow this freed tsugumi. i think the fact that they don’t even give a flashback of this crucial event after shiki’s proper introduction is just a questionable decision. the story tells us that tsugumi’s release from the plushie is of the utmost importance and shiba can’t be swayed without her, setting it up as a vital event, but it happens offscreen with no real interaction with the main cast. it also only happens after multiple failed loops, even though rindo’s interference is what prevents the meeting between coco and shiki to repair the plushie. i don’t understand this from a logistical standpoint; if coco isn’t pulled to escort rhyme, she must have met with shiki and released tsugumi in timely manner, but tsugumi does not appear until after you replay to get coco back to her original schedule. you could wave it off as “she didn’t get there fast enough”, but i can’t accept that as a reason given the circumstances; it’s not like she would have to look hard to find shiba. this one’s flawed writing; i know in a meta sense why she didn’t appear, it was to build tension etc etc, but in-universe it’s a plot hole.

coco being so absent from the plot is also somewhat conspicuous. i wonder what reception of her was like in japan and if that influenced her lack of presence in the story. i honestly don’t even know if she was received well by the english audience, all i know is that i did not like her at all in final remix. not from an “i don’t like the villain because they’re doing bad things” perspective, from an “i don’t find this character compelling and i think they’re annoying” perspective. also curious as to whether or not her speech patterns changed in the japanese dialogue since final remix; i found her far less jarring and obnoxious in neo and i think it’s enormously because she stopped talking verbally in internet shorthand. overall, coco’s retool was imo a change for the better, but she’s barely there for me to appreciate how much of an improvement she was. it feels like there’s an entire narrative we were set up for by a new day, yet it’s almost completely missing. the ending of a new day laid out this framework for neku and minamimoto to be forced allies in an unseen future game. i had mixed feelings about this conceptually, but the narrative setup was fairly transparent. not only does this not happen, coco’s motivation in a new day and what ultimately happened were so lacking to me.

i feel like something got lost and we were originally going to actually see and perhaps play the shinjuku game that ended in disaster instead of just getting a summation and brief flashbacks of the survivors fleeing. this kinda ties in with my complaints about how hyped tsugumi was by solo and final remix, and then she turned out to have a very small (albeit crucial, via her trailer ability) and mostly unseen role in neo’s story. retroactively we learn that rindo’s visions are from tsugumi, but this is something she does entirely off-screen. all of coco’s scheming was for nothing, because joshua was a deus ex machina and whisked neku away the second he died. this feels to me like cut content or rewrites; there’s a whole game’s worth of story that just happened off-camera and we got to hear a little bit about it. it wasn’t enough, imo. i think doing it as a midquel is still possible, but it’s a hard sell to create a video game with a downer ending and we know shinjuku’s fate is already set in stone... even though a new day ended on the tragic cliffhanger of neku’s death, it’s a little different since it’s coming as an optional postgame sequel hook after victory rather than the entire narrative you fought through ending in failure. i suppose it could be done with a Distant Epilogue now that we know shiba and most of his surviving reapers will return to rebuild shinjuku. ultimately i really think that if not for the concern about neku overshadowing the new cast, shinjuku’s purification could and should have been the prologue to neo. it would be a tough balancing act, but i do think it could have been done right and it would have done a lot for narrative tension with his absence if we had a prologue following him that ends in a cliffhanger re: shinjuku’s purification. neku’s role in the story was done decently i think re: how big said role was, but a lot of circumstances surrounding his absence, legendary status, and reappearance leave much to be desired.

frankly, i just don’t like how much they glossed over neku’s three year absence. we’re given a vague explanation of what he was doing, but it isn’t actually an explanation. definitely again feels like a plot rewrite situation; there’s this huge blank space of neku doing nothing because there used to be a story that we were going to play through and it got scrapped for whatever reason. overall i feel neku’s characterization was very odd and perhaps a little inconsistent in this game; he didn’t have much of a personality at all, which i struggle to reconcile with the original game. we don’t see how he reconciled with coco, it’s just dismissed entirely as “no we’re good now”. how are we good? why did you forgive her for playing murder games instead of just explaining shit? i know he forgave joshua for his gatekeep gaslight girlboss behavior in the first game, but we had context as to why he made that decision. also what the fuck was keeping him from coming back to shibuya, i don’t feel like that was sufficiently explained either? for someone who was so hyped up by the narrative, i was a little let down by how insignificant neku ended up being to the plot as a whole. and again, his personality seemed very watered down and neutral despite the seriousness of the situation. why was he so mellow? the circumstances of his return i did really like, because... well, we’ll talk about character relationships i guess.

i already summed up my feelings on rindo and shoka and i think i’ll leave them on the note of “unnecessary elements dampened my potential for overt enthusiasm, but overall i feel neutral-positive about the suggestion of romantic interest” which is a lot more than i can say about a lot of (semi-)official pairings. on a broader and more platonic scale? generally i have positive feelings about the new cast and their interactions; i feel like their development is more understated than neku’s in the first game, his character arc is very in your face and the neo cast is not nearly as overt, but you can see the difference in how the team interacts across the three weeks. rindo and fret’s established friendship, not to be dismissive of it, does exactly what it needs to. i mean this in a completely positive way. it’s an established friendship, they feel like friends, and they serve initially as anchors to one another in the beginning of the game as a “you’re the only person i know in this chaos” setup. this contrasts neku in the first game in an excellent way because of how it highlights their biggest character flaws, which i’ll talk about later; it’s important to rindo’s fatal flaw that he has someone to fall back and rely on in the beginning of the game in the same way that it’s crucial for neku’s development that he’s surrounded by strangers who he must learn to trust and rely on in order to survive. rindo and fret can lean on each other in the beginning of the game, and as people who have known each other for some time, are able to recognize and appreciate each others’ positive changes.

i do love the development of nagi’s friendship with fret, particularly how it’s sometimes but not always remarked on when she shelves her initial aloof attitude with him. i prefer when a narrative is more subtle on that kind of thing; pointing it out every once in a while is okay, but i don’t want it shoved down my throat via dialogue that characters are developing an emotional bond. we can see that nagi is slowly becoming more receptive to fret and less likely to dismiss or disparage him. it seems like their initial relationship is that of two people who have opposite struggles; nagi is notably closed off in the beginning, but fret immediately approaches her with an unearned and offputting level of familiarity. their slow and understated (more noticeable with nagi than fret) development towards accepting each other as friends is mutually beneficial to them even outside of the context of their personal relationship; nagi opens up a little with everyone, not just fret. placing two people with very different perspectives on how to interact with new people in close proximity helped both of them grow. i’m sure other people have different perspectives, but i do not feel like they were being teased as a pairing which i enormously appreciate, i am tired of “pair the spares” shit. (minor note: i also appreciate how while fret’s crush on kanon was very overt and strong, she was also fairly clear that she considered him a kid and his feelings were never going to be reciprocated because of that age gap. i know, the bar is low, but thank god.)

i love how, despite nagi now having been confirmed as older than beat, as soon as beat joins the narrative he takes this hard stance of “i’m the one who’s already been in this hellscape so it’s my responsibility to help the newbies”. he really embodies the big brother role so well in this game; he knows a little more about what’s going on, this isn’t his first rodeo even if it’s not exactly the same, so he considers himself to have an obligation to protect the others. he serves as sort of a physical and emotional rock for the team from the second he joins, becoming an excellent support for them both as a combatant and an older brother figure. he has experience in being both of these things, and i think beat’s writing is some of the best in the game.

despite his position as a former player who’s back in the UG, he meshes with the newbies perfectly. he doesn’t overshadow the rest of the team despite having more lived (ha) experience in the reaper’s game, he doesn’t feel like he’s on a different level from them or anything like that. he fits in while serving an important unique role that he can only fill because of his prior time in the UG. it’s completely understandable and reasonable why rindo remains the team leader despite beat’s presence. he’s had a three year gap since his last game and doesn’t even understand how he returned to the UG. he’s not a fish out of water, he knows the UG and the game. but he’s really truly gotta shake the dust off, and he’s trying to figure out what happened to him in the first place because he knows he shouldn’t be in the UG at all. he didn’t have a huge bump in intelligence since the first game, but it’s hard to dismiss him as a complete idiot. he has both large and small perceptive moments where another narrative might have chosen to keep him as the dumb muscle. in fact, his firm convictions serve an important role for the others - beat knows he didn’t die and can’t be convinced otherwise, and his confidence that he’s a living player is part of how rindo and gang realize they also aren’t dead. he’s clearly not simply a comic relief character. another story might have positioned him as more of a mentor figure, but he plays to his strengths and serves to ground the team instead. beat is honestly a highlight of this ensemble cast to me. i’m unsure as to how much of that is simply because he was one of my favorites from the first game, but i really truly love beat in this game.

shoka and neku’s late introductions to the team mean they have far less “we are now firmly allies and friends” interactions with the rest of the ensemble for unavoidable reasons. i will say that the excellent casting and localization for the english version, particularly shoka, has done a lot to mitigate that issue; yes, the plot doesn’t develop her relationships with the team as a whole as thoroughly as some of the others, but the combat interactions with her are so genuine that i found myself shocked when writing this because, well, those combat lines did so much legwork making her role in the party seem earned and cohesive. i had such a strong sense of her place in the team that just isn’t reflected in the cutscenes, and i find that very interesting but i’m unsure as to whether it’s good or bad; i think it’s incredible that the combat dialogue did such a good job fostering this air of “we are a unit” for these characters and it really is a testament to the skill of these actors, but i do wish it was more prevalent in the cutscenes itself. beat’s established relationship with neku and their relaxed nature with one another does a lot to ease neku’s entry into the group; he has an “in” with a firmly established member and a well-written dynamic with him that helps him out here.

as a nekubeat appreciator i feel very fed and i hope there’s an uptick in interest for the pairing following neo. i love how beat, who throughout the game is constantly forgetting who people from 3 years ago are (doesn’t recognize his former superior bc she’s wearing a suit now and can’t even remember her name), immediately recognizes coco despite her changing her entire aesthetic specifically because he’s so angry with her for killing neku. he’s ready to throw down the second he sees her, which gives this feeling of “he’s been waiting for this moment for 3 years”. because the narrative never addresses beat’s change in style, particularly that he wears his hair like neku now, i choose to believe it’s because the last time he saw neku was immediately after coco shot and killed him. it could be that this shit’s been haunting him ever since neku died. my city now, if you don’t talk about it in the game i make shit up. both their cutscene interactions and combat quotes do an excellent job of maintaining the sense that these two have been close friends for a long time and distance hasn’t changed that. they fall right back into old ways with one another immediately.

even outside of the context of me being a nekubeat shipper, their relationship and continued partnership (UG game context partnership) feels very genuine. neku and joshua call each other partner, but it rings hollow. i’m sure it’s partially the lack of screentime that makes it so they don’t feel like partners any more than neku and shiki do, but the game doesn’t even try to push closeness the way it does for shiki - more on that in a minute. beat is the only one of neku’s partners that seems to have retained the same strength in their bond with him despite the three years; shiki and joshua are super absent in the plot, which really undermines their relationships with neku. i’ve already talked about my problems with shiki’s lack of focus and how i feel it harms her relationship with neku, but as for neku’s relationship with joshua, i think neo has taken an interesting approach that i feel will have a mixed reception.

it actually feels like neku and joshua ended this game on worse terms than the first one even though joshua was a far more benevolent figure this time around. neku is very clear about wanting to return to the RG despite this meaning he will have no access to the UG (outside of potentially text-based communication since rhyme paved the way for RG residents to bust into the RNS and... however it was that shoka’s fanGO account worked, since she and rindo were fanGO friends long before his entry to the UG) and doesn’t show any hesitation or reluctance in stating this desire. he seems quite content with not having joshua be a part of his life, as opposed to the first game’s ending where he extends an open offer to joshua to join his friend group. i understand how this would (and will) let a lot of people down, but i actually think it’s for the best. i have no real opinion on neku’s capacity for forgiving joshua after the first game, good or bad, but i think putting distance between them in this game is the correct move.

i take this viewpoint especially given that after the first game, joshua did in fact choose this distance - neku invited him in, and he did not take the offer. it was his decision to not join neku’s group in the first game’s ending and he continued to remain separate from it in the three year gap; he may have masqueraded as a fellow player and peer in age, but joshua is not and has never been an actual peer to neku, shiki, and beat. his life experiences are so different from theirs that i would struggle to suspend disbelief that they have enough in common to maintain a close friendship. he intervened when neku was killed by coco and placed him in a safe area and gave moral support in the ending, and i think this is the most we should expect of a reforming (not reformed but in-progress) misanthrope like joshua. he’s an enigmatic figure sure and largely benevolent if inactive in this game, but he isn’t a good person and he clearly considers himself to be on a different level from neku and his peers. hanekoma notes that joshua’s somewhat reluctant to continue to remain separate from neku’s group, but i think the narrative places him both objectively and in his own mind as someone who is just... from a different world. joshua chose distance, he chose to cut contact, and this is the consequence of that decision. i think that’s a good lesson to teach; it may not be a given, but it’s natural that sometimes a friendship you ignore will fade. it doesn’t necessarily mean the time you spent didn’t matter, but you shouldn’t be shocked if a plant you don’t water wilts away.

i feel like that wasn’t the intended takeaway, that it was just questionable writing that i’m reading too deep into, but that’s how i feel about the situation.

i’m also incredibly grateful that hazuki was introduced as an age-appropriate option for joshua and i hope they’ll draw attention as a bastard boyfriends ship, both because i think it’s very funny and because i have opinions about shipping joshua with the teens. i know it’s contentious and i’m not going too deep into it, so what i’m going to say is this. the secret reports state in plain objective text that joshua downtuning his vibes aged him down and his true appearance is older. neither the narrative nor supplementary info state anything about how old josh was when he died or how long he’s been a reaper/the composer (reapers ageing is ??? as well, we don’t know if it’s not a thing or if it’s optional or what). however, it is firmly canon that he is older than 15. if that canon upsets you then that’s your problem to either work through or ignore indefinitely. suffice to say, joshua and hazuki do not have the schrodinger’s pedophile issue and i wholly support and strongly encourage that over the alternative for this reason and again because i find it funny and think they deserve each other. i hate to say hazuki is a healthy choice for joshua because i think both of them are just walking messes, but they are actual peers on the same tier of the higher plane pecking order and more importantly the disaster they could be as a couple has infinite potential.

on the girls side of things, i am still mad about eri’s absence not just because it’s a relationship shiki had that just got ignored. i know the story wants us to believe that neku and shiki have something but shiki and eri had more. i’m sorry writers you made a more compelling f/f ship by accident in the first game and i am not invested in the one you weakly suggested between neku and shiki here. if you made shiki have more of a role in neo maybe i’d feel differently, or maybe you would have screwed it up worse. we’ll never know. i think it’s a shame that they couldn’t make me care about neku and shiki as a pairing, but it is what it is.

i was briefly worried that the game would try to suggest something between kaie and rhyme because sometimes people lose their minds when a boy and girl stand next to each other, but i was quickly set at ease with that one. they felt like two people who are starting to straddle that line of acquaintance/friend in a believable way despite how little interaction between them we see, and i appreciate that. i was also briefly worried that fret would develop a crush on rhyme based on his initial reaction at being introduced to her, but again quickly dismissed. can you tell i’m a little gun shy about strangled “him boy her girl” romances in fiction these days? yeah. i’ve been let down too much recently by bad writing.

i think all of the party members could have benefited from more development with one another outside of combat lines - i would like to see more interaction between nagi and shoka, or neku and fret, etc - but that would come at the expense of the narrative’s pacing. i think it could have been done by tweaking certain details, but ultimately i can accept this as a sacrifice made in the interest of keeping the narrative from getting bloated.

i wanna talk briefly about the new main cast a little.

rindo’s ups and downs re: development are much more subtle than neku’s were, but with the secret reports in mind i feel his arc is actually pretty excellent. i think we could have done with a little less of fret pointing out rindo’s increased confidence and how he becomes more assertive, i think the audience is smart enough to notice that on their own. but i’m a huge fan of how the narrative quietly places rindo in this position of a leader who fears that responsibility, but nonetheless has to grow and accept it. hanekoma’s reports may spell it out in plain text postgame, but the narrative already told us in our own way that rindo’s development stalled when someone else entered the cast who could take over for him and this is demonstrative of a(n understandable) lack of maturity and failure to grow. neku’s fatal flaw was his rejection of others, and so he was forced by the narrative into a position where he had to learn to trust them; rindo’s is that he relies too much on them and the narrative forces him to stand on his own.

while i think this is a little muddled (he was right in some instances to not make hard solo decisions; thinking specifically of ayano, it was absolutely the right call to ease shoka into this inevitable loss rather than forcing her into the situation unilaterally) and i wish we saw more consequences of his initial waffling behavior, rindo’s indecisiveness is an actual flaw that i think a lot of people can relate to and i think it contrasts him wonderfully with neku without being heavy-handed. rindo working through it from “relying on others to make choices for him -> still valuing the input of others but not wholly dependent on them -> capable of making difficult calls without anyone else to support him” was subdued and while it had realistic hitches in the form of other characters who he could consider authority figures, it was steady and imo very good. he’s a teenager coming into his own, stepping out of this world where others in his life - motoi as an0ther, shoka as swallow, presumably his parents, teachers, etc - have made the big, scary decisions for him or guided him through them, and into a place where there aren’t these people to guide him. he’s surrounded by people who either don’t know anything more than he does, or don’t care about his best interests; he’s clashing and changing and it forces him to grasp and accept his own autonomy rather than falling back and relying on someone else to fix things when it’s too frightening or difficult.

we can talk cultural differences re: the level of autonomy and responsibility that’s right for teenagers but i’m not really interested in drawing hard lines there. this is a coming of age story; as he approaches maturity, rindo is learning how to be an adult. i think that’s a classic and important narrative concept and it’s done well here.

fret, interestingly, is imo a case where the subtlety didn’t work out. to me, there wasn’t a huge distinction between flippant “telling you what i think you want to hear” fret and “genuine” fret. his initial interactions with kanon don’t seem different from their last conversation; maybe he comes off as less initally honest in the jp version, or maybe this one was a writing fumble. maybe it’s just me, and other people don’t feel the same way! he seems to be a far more static character in a strange way; the narrative tells us that he’s developing via other characters’ dialogue, but it doesn’t seem to support that. to me it’s a failure of “show, don’t tell” - i don’t take a hard stance on “show, don’t tell” as some kind of holy rule of writing, there are plenty of situations in a narrative where telling is perfectly acceptable and i think rigid adherence to showing and not telling can result in a bloated narrative, but in this case i feel like that’s where the narrative failed. it failed to support fret’s development outside of other people telling him he’s changed. i like fret, but i feel like in this ensemble cast fret and nagi kinda serve more as nominal protagonists and are more strong supporting characters than true leads.

as for nagi, i love how, despite it being low-hanging fruit, not only are there no real digs at nagi for being a vocal fangirl of a visual novel dating sim, it actually ties perfectly into her character as someone who understands people. dating sims are about people and relationships. how people interact, the importance of conveying your feelings, the consequences of bad communication; that’s what nagi is obsessed with. and rather than this being a detriment and making her avoid others, it ends up priming her to have healthy friendships because her gaming taught her to value knowing other people. it takes her time to actually open up, but rather than the video games closing her off to others they actually set her up to be an excellent friend. elestra in general could have been a subject of enormous mockery, but instead it’s viewed in a very neutral way and is given the implication of universal appeal by fret picking it up in the epilogue. nagi’s not in the spotlight for most of the game, but the payoff of her monologue to fret about being human was immense and was one of the best bits of dialogue in the entire game to me. it’s not going to be as iconic as hanekoma’s “open up your world” and “enjoy the moment”, but i truly think it’s one of the only parts of neo’s dialogue that approaches its level.

shoka is a character that i think is better on the replay, and i say this as someone who was very fond of shoka the first time around. i thought she had a lot of personality in her mannerisms alone, and i firmly appreciate how she wasn’t a one-note tsundere character. she had some of those minor elements, but subdued and with a reasonable context - she’s hot and cold with rindo and his team because she’s supposed to be working this rigged game to erase them, but she’s already rindo’s friend in a different context and is struggling to reconcile these two parts of her life. knowing her motivation as swallow gives so much retroactive depth to her actions; she was circumventing the game itself not just because she was exhausted by it or unease with shiba like some of the other turncoat reapers, but because rindo was her friend from before the story even began.

i will say that i didn’t actually fully call swallow being shoka simply because at first i had the impression that it would be rhyme (before rhyme’s role in the story became clearer), and admittedly by the time the climax hit the mystery of who swallow was had kind of dropped out of my mind completely, but i think it does a lot to develop shoka. whether this development being retroactive is strictly good or bad as an issue is subjective; neo is a game that has a built-in chapter select, so replaying the game and rewatching the cutscenes with the full narrative context is incredibly easy. however, for a lot of players, if you’re replaying the game it’s with a specific goal of getting something you missed earlier in-game, so you’re rushing through those cutscenes trying to get to that completionist bit. i think a line could have been walked re: giving more of a hint that shoka was swallow before the very end without fully giving it away, but i definitely think the rewatch value is more subjective and based on how you specifically play the game. if you’re here looking to watch all the cutscenes again now that you know everything, shoka being swallow is a huge treat regarding changing the context of her behavior - if you’re fast-forwarding trying to find a pig, it’s totally wasted.

i would have liked to see more of shoka’s backstory and interaction with the other shinjuku reapers for sure, and i wonder if this is another thing along the lines of “we were supposed to see more of shinjuku’s final game than we did”; if we’d gotten more of shinjuku, we certainly would have seen more of its reapers. i talked briefly about how i feel like ayano’s death didn’t hit the way i think it was intended to, but if the game had let us see more of her as a shinjuku reaper i feel like the entire plot would have benefited. it would have benefited shiba as well honestly; they tried to have him as a repentant “now i shall fix what i destroyed” character at the very end, but i don’t feel like they did a good enough job portraying that he had changed and he was brainwashed so it fell flat. if we’d seen more of shiba as the compassionate leader who deserved the loyalty of his reapers that they say he was, the contrast would have done a lot to help define the tragedy of his backstory. overall i think this is another “we lost a chunk of the plot in rewrites or something” issue, which i admit is not based in anything like interviews. it’s just my speculation because it feels like something that was supposed to be here got left behind - i can’t say if i’m right, or why it happened if so. it just feels to me like the shinjuku reapers besides shoka went fairly undeveloped not because of writing/lack of screentime alone but because we lost big pieces of shinjuku content entirely. it’s insane that we only learn in the secret reports how tsugumi became trapped in the mr. mew plush to begin with; to me, this screams “we had to cut something”, and the more i think about it the more convinced i am that we were originally meant to see more of shinjuku’s inversion. hell, the secret reports just flippantly inform us that tsugumi’s brother was shinjuku’s conductor and he’s why she survived - but he goes unnamed and unseen, mentioned only in a piece of postgame content that many players may never unlock.

shinjuku’s final game is just left as this incredible story that was never told, with a cast who we barely see. again, it doesn’t bother me that they never explained to us why hazuki purified shinjuku. but i do wish we could have connected with its reapers to see how they reacted to its impending fate; who was on kubo’s side, who was trying to protect shinjuku? who knew what was happening, and who was just swept up in the chaos? how did the purification affect them emotionally after their escape to shibuya? just from the secret reports we see that tsugumi’s brother is this tragic hero of another story, the conductor opposing the executor and fighting to save his city before ultimately sacrificing himself to keep his sister alive. this is enough content that it could have easily been a standalone, but it wasn’t. i think that’s a damn shame. i’m sure there are people who are already chomping at the bit to write about shinjuku’s tragic final game and it’ll make a stunning fanfic in the right hands, but this is a big gap for fanfiction authors to be filling in.

this was mostly a narrative thoughts dump, but i wanna say just a couple of things about the combat: overall i liked it! i was significantly overleveled for the vast majority of the game partially because i was having fun with the combat, i feel gameplay was very intrinsically motivating. because of how the food system worked, being overleveled didn’t mean too much since it only affects HP, but i also was eating constantly so i was in fact just OP for much of the game. so i suppose, take my gameplay commentary with a grain of salt because i was busted quickly. if i hadn’t been such a powerhouse from early on, i expect my gameplay experience would have been much different.

my biggest complaint: there were some significant issues in enemy design related to battles being timed and the timer having consequences. some enemies were a reasonable/intuitive pain, say, elephants being bullet sponges and chameleons having an invisibility mechanic. these things made them challenging, but in a sensible way. like, of course a big honkin’ elephant has a ton of HP. i think that chameleons in particular could have been tweaked; you have to be very close to them when they’re invisible in order to lock on, and i think this could distance could have been extended a bit to minimize frustration. likewise, it felt like party members that get grabbed by a t.rex were trapped for ages; i feel this could have been tweaked as well. i know a lot of people had issues with wolves for this same reason, but their comparative frailty and my pin choices meant that i quickly overcame wolves and they became a minor nuisance at best until endgame introduced a beefier wolf. even then, i found t.rex noise to be much more of an issue because of their sturdier nature and higher damage output. these are minor gripes; i didn’t like seeing these enemies, but i didn’t hate seeing them. no, here’s what i hate: rhinos and pufferfish.

to me, these are the most annoying enemies in the entire game outside of maybe a handful of bosses. i feel they were poorly thought out in general. the tendency for rhinos to put themselves against the arena walls and the delay on pufferfish exploding after their HP hits zero do not mesh well with that battle timer. i find myself very frustrated by these enemies because it feels like i’m being punished not for a lack of skill or bad decisions choosing weak pins, but simply bad luck. very few pins can circumvent the rhino’s front guard and the hitbox for their guard feels enormous, so i can’t imagine i’m the only player having difficulty herding them out of corners to actually damage them or get beat drops. there’s a postgame dive with a big noise rhino, and it was my worst experience with the entire game because it just kept backing into a corner. i quit that dive multiple times because of how much time i wasted with the rhino; i changed my pins like crazy trying to take advantage of elemental weaknesses or use pins that could circumvent the guard. but it wasn’t about what pins i was using, it was just bad luck with hitboxes. when i finally got the gold rank on that dive it wasn’t that i did anything significantly different, the rhino just didn’t park its ass in the corner that time.

as far as i know, and i hope i’m missing something that someone can enlighten me on, there is no way to prevent pufferfish from inflating and exploding outside of a killer remix. i have not discovered any way to make them explode faster. the amount of time it takes for them to blow up seems to vary not by species but by individual, i’m not sure if it’s being triggered by proximity to a party member or what but i know sometimes one of those little shits will inflate and chase me across the entire arena before finally exploding. in a chain battle, that wasted time adds up. the pufferfish issue could have been severely mitigated, if not entirely fixed, if the gap between HP hitting zero and explosion was just the time it took for them to inflate. that would have basically eliminated my needless frustration with them. but instead i just... don’t know how to make them pop faster.

in normal combat, your post-battle score is primarily just bragging rights/making yourself feel good to have gotten a good grade. but when it comes to dives, where the timer directly decides how many of the finite friendship points you get, the appearance of a rhino or pufferfish specifically is something i approached with dread and disappointment. i already mentioned the postgame dive giant rhino specifically being a nightmare, but this was a reoccurring element for me through the entire game with just normal rhinos. i know rhinos are a returning enemy and kept their front-guard schtick, but the shift to a 3D environment has made them a much more (imo needlessly) difficult opponent.

regarding the pin system itself, i was enormously disappointed to learn how the multi-pin input worked. it turns out that you can only have multiple pins using a single input no matter how many multi-pin wields you unlock; gone were my dreams of having 2 Y-input pins and two ZL input pins (i played on switch). the inability to multi-pin wield uber pins regardless of how many uber slots you have filled is also a huge bummer. i feel like in the postgame i should be able to be an absolute god of destruction, but this didn’t pan out.

this seems to be a switch issue, but autosave was the MVP of the game because i had a few cutscenes crash or freeze (the one with kubo’s reveal seems to be a common source of a crash on the switch version as it fails to load the 3D cutscene); this was annoying and needs fixing, but it was slightly mitigated by autosave kicking in immediately after boss battles. i was crushed thinking i was gonna have to go through the shiba fight again after kubo crashed my game, so the relief i felt upon loading up again and going right into the cutscene was immense. don’t get me wrong: cutscene freezes and particularly crashes are a big problem that a game like this shouldn’t have launched with, but at the very least i didn’t lose my progress on that crash. related, i appreciate the ability to speed through cutscenes you’ve already seen, but i do wish we had the option to skip them entirely because that would have saved me from the freezes that i had to manually close the game and lose progress for.

a more minor complaint that i admittedly am unsure as to how to fix (maybe utilizing the d-pad instead of having it be camera/target select alongside the right stick?) is that i do not seem to have much control over which character my camera centers on in combat. typically selecting the pin that’s equipped to them will focus the camera to them, but every once in a while i’ll be locked to someone whose pin is rebooting while my other party members are actively attacking on the complete opposite end of the arena. i have no idea why this happens. if i’m missing something please let me know. the static nature of the overworld camera took some adjusting to, at first i was offput but i got used to it quickly. if camera was fixed position in combat it would have been a nightmare, but it being fixed in the overworld isn’t the same beast.

this has gotten obscenely long, so props and condolences to everyone who has made it this far. i wanna end on a high note because i want to reiterate something: i have so many criticisms here and that’s actually praise. i enjoyed so much of this game that i’m critical of where it fell short specifically because it’s such a strong contrast to how much i felt it did right. the main story was pretty strong in general, though some character interactions were lacking. the plot itself i didn’t talk a lot about because i thought it was good. there wasn’t much to say, they did a good job! the dissonance noise being created from deleted timelines was great, i loved that. i don’t feel like predictability makes a narrative bad, so it’s not like i was upset when it turned out replay was (gasp) part of a dastardly scheme. for me, foreshadowing is an excellent thing even if sometimes i wish it was handled a little differently.

i vastly prefer this game’s vague sequel hook with minamimoto over how final remix ended a new day; that sequel hook i hated and it had me so worried about neo. thankfully a lot of my fears didn’t come true, and i am very happy overall with the game we got. if another game is greenlit, i would hope it progresses with a mostly new cast; as long as we stay in shibuya some supporting characters can and should be staples imo, like kariya and uzuki, and i hope to see more of what’s being set up with minamimoto even if not necessarily with him as a protagonist. but overall i think twewy’s worldbuilding lends itself much more to a rotating cast if it develops into a full franchise; that’s just the nature of the UG, and i would like to see further installments taking advantage of that and allowing characters to have a complete arc and then retire from the narrative naturally.

i’ve got some pigs to erase and some bosses to slap the pins out of, which i’m sure will take me some time. another day certainly has a secret boss and/or time trial boss rush, so i’ll take a look at that sucker soon as well. i’m looking forward to continuing my playthrough, and i expect to sink quite a few more hours into this game. i really truly enjoyed neo despite my qualms, and i’m leaving the main storyline behind for postgame stuff with almost entirely positive feelings and a hopeful stance on the potential future of the series. i know this was a long-ass post, which is why it’s beneath a readmore, but to anyone who cared enough about my thoughts to keep reading the whole thing... thanks for the time you spent, hope you got something positive out of it!

#neo twewy #neo twewy spoilers #this turned into a behemoth. im so sorry #I CHECKED AND IT'S OVER 11K WORDS #I'M SO FUCKING SORRY

[mystech-master]

My FGO Servant ideas/Servants I'd expect

These are some Servant ideas that I have had since I've already asked what you guys want.

I know that the Servant has to be someone that people know for the most part, since almost every Servant is someone that everyone knows with a few exceptions.

Some spoilers for other Fate works bellow

Saber

Yagyu Jubei, the One-Eyed Samurai. I feel like his NP will be some kind of Mystic Eye under his eyepatch or something. But if they want to go super Bullshut, I could imagine him being a Pseudo-Servant of Yvette L Lehrman.

Archer

Tchaikovsky, composer of 1812 Overture. The Orchestral song featuring CANNONS! I have already made a Reddit post about it here. I am trying not to just shove people in Caster

Angelica Ainsworth, holder of the Gilgamesh Class Card in Prisma Illya. I wonder how Archer/Caster Gil would react to her, or even Enkidu. I mean we know Kid Gil isn't fond of her.

Lancer

Arachne, the Spider-Woman Weaver. Her Lance would simply be an enlarged sewing needle. She'd either be a sort of Spider- Centaur, or the Spider-Legs would be coming out of her legs. For some extra shit, she might be merged with the Japanese Spider-Yokai Jorogumo, or just reference it similar to how Galatea referenced the tsukumogami. Also, her being a woman made into a monster by Athena, Medusa might gain a new friend.

Sigma,>! Maiya Hisau's son from Fate/Strange Fake. Apparently the True Lancer of the True and False Holy Grail War!<. I really just want him in to see how he'd interact with the EMIYA family. ~~Someone give Shirou/EMIYA some guy friends!~~ Of course, we'll need to wait a long time for strange fate to finish to get him since the author doesn't like using f/sf characters for anything else atm.

Loki, god of mischief. Maybe being half-Jotunn can be a good enough justification to keep him as himself and not need to be a Pseudo. I like OSP's interpretation of a "genderfluid benevolent but mischievous Hearth Spirit who protects the home and family". Genderfluid would open up for one of Fate's many genderbends they love doing, but if they kept him male and make his character about all the kids he has, then imagine...Loki, who is a god of mischief and a dad.........Loki making dad jokes. Although I feel like they might go with the female Loki one since Fate loves Genderbends and IDk if Japan has an equivalent to dad jokes. The reason he'd be a Lancer is the spear of Mistletoe he gave to Höðr which then resulted in Baldr's death which is treated as the precursor to Ragnarok.

Rider

Jiraiya, the Gallant Ninja. It was either this, with him riding his summonable Toad (I mostly think of this video), Assassin b/c Ninja, Caster b/c of reasons covered in the video linked before and some similar videos by the same guy, and Saber with the Nakirimaru, or "wave cutting sword," used to exorcise the Snake Spirit from Orochimaru. I went with Rider so the Rock-Paper-Scissors match of Frog-Slug-Snake matches the classes of Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru respectively.

Caster

Tsunade, the Slug Maiden. The reason is mentioned above in Jiraiya's segment.

TOHSAKA, Rin as a Counter Guardian. The closest we'll get to actual Rin on her own with no other god(dess) inhabiting her body as a servant. NP would be the Jeweled Sword Zelretch. Also, imagine Ishtar seeing the older Rin (her vessel)'s more developed body and getting pissed.

Orpheus, the musical son of Apollo. Considering one big part of his story was being so bummed about his wife dying that his music just depressed everyone, even the gods, with his bad vibes, I could imagine them making him into sort of an emo guitar player or some shit. But if that is too lame then giving his Lyre some Siren Song-esque powers might be something since during his adventures with the Argonauts, since when the sirens began to sing he "played music that was louder and more beautiful, drowning out the Sirens' bewitching songs."

Assassin

Not too sure on the spirit, hopefully a Death God, but I want a Pseudo-Servant of Kairi Sisigou. I mean a Necromancer Mercenary, TELL ME that doesn't fit. Also the possible fun interactions he can have with Mordred again, and her family and new friends.

I mentioned above, Orochimaru, with him being a Pseudo-Servant in Souichirou Kuzuki. I just needed a snake-themed servant to put him in because I know everyone wants him as a pesudo so Medea can have her husband.

Berserker

Kriemhild, wife of Siegfried. Either this or Avenger. Berserker would be the most fitting for my idea, but Avenger would also fit and most likely have cooler animations I bet. As the wiki says about her personality: "Kriemhild held a "deep‐rooted and blind love" for Siegfried, such that it's described as "passionate love that repays the murder of one’s loved one with twice the payback." Siegfried's death, rather than assuage the feud with Brunhild, caused Kriemhild to "burn with the flames of revenge."' NP being a more demonic/dark version of Balmung. I wanted her to be a sort of obsessive wife and mother to Siegfried and Sieg (I like to imagine them having a mentor-student to father-son dynamic), the family dynamics between the three would be fun to imagine.

Lycaon, the wolf king. He once tested Zeus' omniscience by serving him the roasted flesh of Lycaon's own son Nyctimus, in order to see whether Zeus was truly all-knowing. In return for these gruesome deeds, Zeus transformed Lycaon into a wolf. He'd be a pseudo for Svin Glascheit. I just needed a wolf spirit to put Svin in. I mean everyone already is imagining Berserker-Jack the Ripper using Flat as a vessel.

Magni, son of Thor. Do I even need to explain who I am using as a vessel for this Spirit?

Avenger

Pandora, the all-endowed first woman. At first, I was unsure about her class. Yes, the whole thing of Pandora's Box was made as a punishment for Prometheus stealing fire (I wonder how Fate would interpret this with the whole Age of Gods vs Age of Man thing), but as the wiki says "She was given knowledge by the gods that she had to wait until humanity perished so that she can finally open the box and release the world's true potential. Because of her immortality, Pandora suffered greatly as people unreasonably tried to kill the undying mud doll whenever they discovered she wasn't human. After so many years of suffering, Pandora began questioning on why she had to go through this for humans."

Captain Ahab, Captain of the Pequod. >!Implied to be one of Watcher's Shadows in fate/strange fake, so the reason he'd be unavailable is stated above!<. His NP would be his prosthetic leg made out of whalebone, which may give him some aquatic abilities. Or it might be the harpoon that he got tangled in which resulted in his death.

MoonCancer

Tsukuyomi, the Shinto Moon God. Using Hakuno Kishinami as a vessel. I mean combining the Admin authority from the EXTELLA's Regalia which grants him kingship of the Moon Cell with Tsukuyomi's moon god authority would be pretty cool. I know a lot of people want a Dioscuri situation where we get both male and female Hakunos but I feel like it'd be one or the other. Of course, this is only if Hakuno NEEDS a god in him. I partially Headcanon that the reason BB made Jinako a MoonCancer was as a test run for when she does it to Hakuno.

Alter Ego

Ergo, The Man Who Devoured God. From The Adventures of Lord El-Melloi. " Because of the method of creation he has several gods within him after devouring their flesh. All three gods within him, one of which is Sun Wukong, have the shared themes of "water gods" and "hands"." Having 3 gods fits man other Alter Egos haveing 3 gods in them (Sakura Five, Ashiya Douman, and Sitonai).

>!U-Olga Marie, the Alien God. The Best chance we get of having Olga back. Similar reason for being summoned as Kiara.!<

Lemme know what you guys think of my ideas and if you'd add anything to them.

#fate #fate series #fate grand order #fgo

[neoyi]

Back again with another Kingdoms Heart II talky time. What is this, the fourth? Fifth installment? Any who, I’m covering Sora’s revisits to Beast’s Castle, Chin- er, sorry, Land of Dragons, Olympus, Agrabah, Halloween/Christmas Town, and Pride Rock.

*I love that Kingdom Hearts Belle is only so restraint with her annoyance over Organization XIII’s bullshit. She’s already pissed when Xaldin interrupts her big ballroom dance out with the Beast (”not tonight!”), then when Xaldin kidnaps her and threatens the Beast, she elbows the man in response (the music even stops just to emphasize the impact of what she’s done), sporting an absolute shit-eating grin in the process.

Belle is Queen Shit.

*I see The Beast has mastered the Team Rocket School of Quick Changing Clothing. He’s somehow able to switch from his dance outfit to his standard tattered cape and pants between Heartless surrounding them and just before they do battle. What talent.

*Having Marluxia’s - that pretentious rose-spewing jackass - insignia inside Beast’s Castle is apropos.

*I get keeping the Organization XIII members in their hoods is to preserve their mysteries and build anticipation (it’s less about Who They Could Beeee as it is wondering what they look like and what personality/skills are associated with them), but as someone who sometimes has trouble distinguishing things, having to parse out who is speaking to who when they all look identical is kind of hard....They really could have killed for more women in the Org, I’m just saying.

*Oh shit, I forgot how hot Xigbar was. In terms of sexiness, it’s a toss-up between him and Luxurd.

*Oh yes, that eye patch does do things to me. <3

*It is super cute that Mulan asked the Emperor if Shang could have a vacation.

*I think it fits that at some point in Hercules’ life, he’s going to feel burnt out from being a hero without any rest. It’s kind of nice to see this game explore that a bit.

*I haven’t played FFX in a long time, but I think some of the dialogue Auron spouts when Sora picks up his Heart Doll doohickey are from or carry shades from his time during. It’s obviously just meant to pay lip service to his canon role, but I kind of like the Don’t-Take-It-Seriously-Theory that the Auron in Kingdom Hearts ended up in Hades’ realm (maybe he took a wrong turn in Albuquerque on his way to Spira’s whatever-the-fuck-metaphysical-afterlife-is.) I guess if there’s one game series where multibverse traverse is logical, it’d be Kingdom Hearts. 

I’ve looked at this artwork of Sora many times over the years and this part of his outfit still baffles me. What are those baggy red things attached to his hips? Are they cushioned to protect a part of his body in case he gets tossed by an enemy? Is it the same with his shoulder guards or are those even shoulder guards and not just clothing that happen to look like shoulder guards? Like, are the red bags bags? Does Sora pack his essentials in them? Toothbrush? Snack bar? Keys to the Gummi Ship????

*If Hercules’ doubt is part and parcel of being a hero to many, Sora’s obsession to be defined as one in Olymupus Coliseum feel redundant and backwards. Didn’t the first Kingdom Hearts established that bearing the moniker of a hero is not reflective of your character, but through your actions? Sora’s a goofball, but apparently that lesson didn’t seem to stick, causing him to obsess over labels he only cares about for this world and this world only.

*Revisiting Port Royal and I’m only just realizing Sora can kill pirates in this game. They’re undead, but they’re that way because of a curse, otherwise they were living and have the capability to live again. I don’t know if I can process this kid having murdered like hundreds of Actual, By Technicality, Living Humans.

*I like how Jack describes the audacity of Organization XIII’s motives that it makes pirates look kind and spoke with a tone as if he’s offended. Pirates have a nasty reputation to live for and those jackasses in black hoods are taking all their creds.

*Luxurd is the other Hot Organization XIII member, and he may be my personal favorite. He’s got that sauve, roguish quality I like in a character. In another universe, he might have been a risky, gambling-his-life Lovable Rouge Pirate and damn if I wouldn’t eat that story up.

*Whenever Donald and Goofy is out of your party, they sometimes circle around to each other and chat and I think that’s adorable. Nice attention to detail.

*Tragically, unlike Belle who got a bit more to do in her world, Jasmine’s expanded role in KHII doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. She gets to be voiced by her original actress, but that’s about the extent of it.

*I don’t know if this was an intended foreshadowing or just the product of Cool Boss Fight, but Sora constantly dodging and reflecting crumbles of building away from Genie Jafar does end up coming back in the final boss fight. Arguably cooler than this one, but you can see it as Sora applying what he’s learned since then.

*If Genie is capable of fixing Agrabah and improving on it, then man, I think Aladdin should let him. Like don’t drastically alter it to alienate the townsfolk, but consult with the Sultan and Jasmine and improve the homes of thousands of impoverished people. Come on, Aladdin, you’re gonna rule these people, and you were once a street rat. Use your position for good!

*I’m a tad worried about Sora’s stick arms. Kid, you eating alright? Is Donald and Goofy giving you proper nourishment?

*At the second half of the game, Kingdom Hearts II really ramps up the Sora/Kairi and how you feel about it likely depends upon your preference for the pairing or not. I actually think they’re adorable as heck and I think a lot of why is that Sora, unlike a lot of other shonen protagonist that his archetype resembles, is far from clueless about his affection for her or even dismissive of her. No, he thinks of her all the goddamn time. He’s ridiculously in love with her that an average teenager can give and that’s such a wholesome thing that almost any scenario where he’s thinking of her really shines a spot on his character. This despite the fact that, well, there really isn’t a whole lot of on the Why they like each other, they just do because they’re the main male and female protagonist (which is why I get people rolling their eyes at the pairing, it is a bog-standard heteronormative relationship.)

*I think it's a good and logical point that Simba still carries doubt shortly after the events of The Lion King. Scar's ghost looming over him filling him with manipulative thoughts and his people especially doubting his kingly moniker because he's not the Great Mufasa is something Simba would likely be compared to. However could Simba compete with Mufasa, a beloved and competent King?

*I think this is the first time the game has ever shown a canon Disney character getting the Heartless treatment and man, this is a cool concept I kind of wished they did more of. I mean, maybe they did? I haven’t played any KH game after this. I hear Hans turns into one in KH3.

*There's a mild subplot between Cid and Merlin where they both clash over Technology vs. Magic. I know Disney Merlin did complain about the future (read: 1960s contemporary when the movie first came out) once he finished his brief sabbatical there, but as someone who's aged backwards, you'd think he'd have a better appreciation for tech.

...Then again, maybe he saw how invasive smart devices have gotten in the 21st century in which case, okay, fair, you are right to complain.

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts II #neoyi talks

[excusemewhileiplaykh]

Re:MIND Made the Meteor Shower from CoM Relevant Again

There’s one scene from Re:MIND that has been driving me crazy since it came out and I haven’t really seen anyone talk about it.

When Demyx arrives at the Keyblade Graveyard to retrieve the replica for Naminé, Riku tells him the vessel is filled with “important memories”.

When I first heard this, I thought, (“lmao why is riku so expressive?”) “What is Riku talking about? What ‘important memories’?”

Well, the only memories Riku could be talking about are Repliku’s memories, right? This makes sense when you think about how Riku and Repliku had that talk on the beach, in which Repliku references his promise to Naminé. Remember that Repliku had his heart broken by Naminé in CoM which wiped him clean of all of his memories except for the fake memories Naminé imprinted on him, including the meteor shower promise (which I’ll get back to in a minute). This means he would only have the fake memories and memories of the events preceding his heart being broken. Repliku mentions this himself at the end of CoM:

Riku Replica: Not Riku. I’m a fake. I can’t remember why i was created or where or when... All that’s inside of me— is time with you and  Naminé. But I know those memories are not real.

(source)

Thus, if Repliku did leave behind his memories in the replica, it would make sense for Riku to call them “important” since he understood how special Naminé was to him. 

So let’s run on the assumption that Repliku left his memories inside the replica after he disappeared. From a meta perspective, what does this serve? Why would Nomura hint that Repliku’s memories were inside that replica and now they’re with Naminé?

One possibility is that Naminé may be able to use those memories to bring back Repliku. This seems unlikely, however. For one, Repliku’s goodbye was pretty definitive. He was okay with disappearing if it meant Naminé could have a body. Moreover, a whole year has gone by at the end of Re:MIND and we more or less know what every character was up to during that year and yet there’s no mention of Repliku. If the meta purpose of having those memories in Naminé’s replica was to bring back Repliku, why didn’t they do it during that year? It seemed that putting Naminé and the rest of the organization in replicas was easy enough. Moreover, it doesn’t seem to matter that they only have memories to reconstructure Repliku because people can be reconstructed from Data, a source similar to memories (Data seems to be based on memories, anyway).

So… Naminé has Repliku’s memories… but it’s not to bring back Repliku?

But then the question remains, why hint that Repliku’s memories are now with Naminé?

Well, let’s think about the content of those memories. Like I said, Repliku’s memories would consist of the fake memories Naminé implanted in him, including the meteor shower promise, and his memories of events after his heart was broken. As I’m sure you remember, the meteor shower promise played a key role in CoM. To summarize, both Sora and Repliku believed that they had made a promise to protect Naminé on the night of the meteor shower and this leads to antagonism between the two (that and Repliku being angry that Sora is constantly trying to “worm” his way into his heart). We are meant to believe that the meteor shower memory is just made up by Naminé, but that doesn’t seem likely, especially when you consider how Naminé’s memory manipulation works.

I put stress on the word manipulation because that seems to be what Naminé does. She manipulates preexisting memories by messing with their links, moving, removing, and inserting things into the chain as she sees fit. This means Naminé could manipulate true memories and not just manufacture them. She actually explains this to Sora and the gang at the end of CoM:

Naminé: Of course. It’s my fault, after all. I took people and memories that re inside Sora’s heart... and little by little, I replaced them with false memories.

Donald: Hey... What about Sora’s promise?

Naminé: Made up. It was fake. Sora never really promised me anything. me being with him on the islands— that was a lie, just like everything else. We never met. I was never Sora’s friend—

Sora: And you were never anything more— either...

Naminé: No. You see, in all of your memories, I was never really there.

(another scene)

Naminé: When you remember one thing, that leads to remembering another— and then another and then another. Our memories are connected. Many pieces are linked together like they’re in a chain— that makes up each of us. I don’t actually erase any memories— just take apart links and rearrange them. You still have all your memories.

(source) 

For instance, this promise obviously occurred during a meteor shower. The only confirmed meteor shower we know of on the Islands was the night that Kairi arrived (reference). Since Kairi came on that night, it is, for obvious reasons, very unlikely Sora made the promise to her. Moreover, let us consider that Repliku was made using Riku’s memories. Naminé tells Repliku this in the CoM novel (please excuse my notes lol).

This suggests that the way Naminé’s memory manipulation works is that she takes pre existing memories and inserts herself within them, making false memories. If this is true, then we can imply that the meteor shower promise was actually something Sora experienced with someone.

This isn’t a new theory, of course. Most prominently, Blowingoffsteam2 suggested that the meteor shower was a real memory in this post. They also suggest that Sora shared this memory with Riku, which if this is a real memory, would make the most sense.

For instance, this promise obviously occurred during a meteor shower. The only confirmed meteor shower we know of on the Islands was the night that Kairi arrived (reference). Since Kairi came on that night, it is, for obvious reasons, very unlikely Sora made the promise to her. Moreover, let us consider that Repliku was made using Riku’s memories. Naminé tells Repliku this in the CoM novel (please excuse my notes lol).

(pg. 357)

This suggests that Riku also had a memory of the meteor shower, which was implanted in Repliku. This suggests that the meteor shower that exists within Naminé’s replica (as in the replica she takes for herself at the end of 3)  is Riku’s version of the meteor shower memory. Sora had his own version of the memory that was altered by Naminé. The fact that this memory was taken from Riku is also consistent with the CoM poems, specifically written by Nomura, which appear at the end of Sora and Riku’s stories. In Riku’s poem, it talks about a “forgotten promise”.

Beyond the path without you

is a forgotten promise to keep.

We may have walked side by side,

but now we go back to back.

And though our paths may not cross,

all paths are connected somewhere.

When I arrive at where you are,

we may not appear to be as we were...

But we’ll make another promise to keep.

(source)

Seeing as Repliku may have his memory of the meteor shower, it would make sense that Riku forgot this “promise”. All of this evidence suggests that if the promise did in fact take place, it would have had to occur between Sora and Riku as Steam suggests.

Alright, so now that we have all of this information, let’s try to organize some conclusions. The main conclusion we can make is that it appears Naminé is once again in possession of Riku’s version of the meteor shower scene.

But the question still stands… Why would Nomura bring all of this up? What’s the purpose?

Well, let’s consider how powerful the meteor shower memory is. It’s so powerful that even after Repliku accepts that the memory isn’t his, he still believes Naminé is his most precious person and he’s willing to sacrifice himself so she can have a body again.

If the memory were to return to Riku, what would happen? Could it help bring Sora back? Does Sora remember the meteor shower?

I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kh com #sora #riku #kh3 #namine #chain of memories #kh remind #remind #re:mind #repliku #kh theories #kh analysis #i finally got my brain to work please clap #the quotes may look a little weird on mobile