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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 2 years

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ALRIGHT! WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER ANALYSIS/THEORY

So I was talking to my sibs about the fact that in season 3, it oddly enough, seems like Mk is getting his powers back faster than Monkey King is, even with the meditation stuff this Monkey’s doing, which seems odd.

One of the first lessons Monkey King teaches Mk after the pilots in episode 1 Bad Weather is that “In order to have full control of your powers, you need self confidence.” And not just the flashy kind, not just the talking louder so you feel bigger, but like, true belief in yourself and your abilities.

Along with the often repeated “Just believe in yourself and you can do anything” saying he’s so fond of, which literally was the first lesson he ever taught Mk in the pilots. But what if that’s literally it.

What if the strength of Monkey King’s powers is based almost 100% on how much he believes in himself, (coupled with a lot of practice and mastery ofc because self-confidence comes from mastery) which could attest to what comes off as blind confidence sometimes and might seem frustrating to other people when he seems to refuse to admit he can’t do things. Because as long as he doesn’t admit that, he can do those things.

In Journey to the West there’s a moment when someone drops a mountain on him again and although right after being freed from the initial Mountain he was imprisoned under, which he literally picked up and chucked the moment he was freed from it, but this time his self confidence drops like a stone monkey in water (severe PTSD WOO) and he cannot lift this mountain. They have to go get these other spirits to come help lift it off of him because Monkey King is trapped.

The moment he gets trapped in his own head too much, it’s over.

(Disclaimer: I’m not saying this is actually what happens in the book as far as the reason he wasn’t able to lift the mountain, do not take this as fact or reference I just thought it was a neat detail that seems to kinda tie into this theory, but it is just a neat thought thanks.)

The next bit here could just be a storytelling choice, but I find it very interesting that both times when Mk looses his powers, the first thing the other party does is beat down his self-confidence.

When Macaque is working to take Mk’s powers, instead of building Mk’s confidence, he tears it down with the whole making Mk feel like he needs to surpass expectations to prove himself and succeed

along with changing his belief in himself and his skill, to his belief in Macaque and his teachings.

“What? But last time I couldn’t even hit it?”

“Totally. But since then you’ve had me teaching you.”

Macaque never builds Mk’s self-confidence, he redirects it to himself. Believe in me. I’m the only reason you’re succeeding. You’re a weapon trained by ME.

“Don’t you feel stronger?”

He pushes Mk to do things before he’s ready so the self-confidence just isn’t there.

And then once Mk chooses to put his trust in Macaque instead of himself, that’s when the rest of the seal is filled (also cause power usage obv) and when Macaque finally swoops in to steal his powers.

The Lady Bone Demon literally gets inside Mk’s head.

Makes him doubt his mentor and shakes his belief in himself and then beats him into the ground when he’s at his lowest and when his confidence is shattered she takes his powers one by one.

With Macaque, all Mk had to do was remember he wasn’t a weapon, Macaque’s training wasn’t what defined him, regain a bit of that confidence vibe while Monkey King never wavers in believing Mk can do the hero stuff despite the fact he’s fresh outta getting his powers stolen.

And Mk forcibly takes them back, doesn’t give up and is able to lift the staff.

After LBD Mk seems to be getting his powers back at a pretty decent rate. We see him steadily re-learn them and his self-confidence throughout the episodes, while Monkey King goes in a meditative state. (Maybe it makes the restoration go faster.) But even with that he still seems to be re-gaining them a little more slowly than Mk. Even when he goes to fight LBD, I’m not sure he has all of them back. Because I don’t think Monkey King could ever get possessed if he was at full strength—full self confidence.

Throughout their little quest to get the Samadhi fire, Mk has his family supporting him, believing in him, and waiting for him to be ready to believe in himself again.

They build him up

And even Monkey King, once he relaxes seems to give him more feedback and input than before, taking time after seeing him do something to tell him he did a good job and he knew he could do it

In comparison to what this trip was like for Monkey King. Granted, he didn’t make it easy for the people around him due to his inability to communicate unless he’s being yelled at,

but for the entirety of the trip it’s everyone but Mk is doubting him, doubting his plan, even being standoffish and accusatory at him. “SUN WUKONG YOU’LL DOOM US ALL.” yelled several times by several different people he seems to view as kinda-friends (though monkey king doesn’t seem to have friends).

And it isn’t until after they see what could have been the results of his plan that Nezha, that they all kinda step back and go “oh. he might have been onto something here.”

But by then it’s too late, and he believes they don’t have time, has just gotten yelled at harming the people he cares about which is literally like, his least favourite thing to do (literally goes and hides in a hole when he realizes he scares his FFM fam.)

LBD kinda did to him what she did to Mk. And hey, I mean everyone else around him helped too. Monkey King went into that battle extremely low on self-confidence. Nothing went according to his plan, and now he’s falling back on the last resort that he did everything he could and even risked the world and the people around him to avoid. Mans does not want to kill anyone. Not even LBD and least of all a child.

And it’s in that moment where his confidence is at it’s lowest and his self-hate is at it’s highest, that’s when LBD possesses him.

Seems like she just got lucky and hit him while he was at his low point honestly rather than planned it, but she does seem to have a habit of destroying the people around her’s mental states *looks at Macaque*.

He’s fighting the whole time but there’s no one there, he’s alone and trapped, but then there’s Mk in front of him, telling him to stop,

that he believes in him,

and he manages to stop the punch and bring it down to just a throw.

And when he finally manages to break the possession, it’s the moment when Mk stands, knowing he’s coming in for the final blow and doesn’t even turn around or look away from LBD, so unshakeable in his confidence in Monkey King, and when Sun Wukong sees that,

that is when he breaks free from the possession, the moment someone shows that unwavering unshakeable belief in him.

“Thanks for not giving up on me, bud.”

If he had given up on him, I don’t think Monkey King would have been able to break free.

Anyway, there you go, there’s your Knox theory/analysis for the day.

#Long post #Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid #knox rambles #Analysis #Monkie kid theories #Monkie kid analysis #Mk #Monkey King | Sun Wukong #anyways this is where my mind's been since last night bGKJAMOEWF

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yoshimonster · 11 months

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Blog #5: Grades Are Tomorrow… and so are the Taylor Swift Tickets

Was highly considering not posting today, I don’t believe I posted yesterday (Monday) either and believe the void of Tumblr deserved an update rather than me being in an upset state of mind which will definitively happen tomorrow with grades release. I honestly am feeling almost equally nervous about securing Taylor Swift tickets as I am with my grades coming out. If I was more sane, perhaps the grades release would not worry me as much but it really does. Neither of my parents are working from home tomorrow and I don’t know how these tears are going to be under control. I should just expect the worst before giving myself any false hope if things turn out well that, which if that became reality would honestly be irreplaceable gift. I also released I gave my friend wrong instructions to getting Ticketek details tomorrow, I have resolved this and need to transfer money into my account for the presale tomorrow – this was thanking the stars that I ran into my sister’s plans for tomorrow. I really don’t want to take anything for granted.

In other news, I going to work on some social media stuff tomorrow as a way to be happy after grades release/exam preparation which I will most certainly need. This pit in my stomach will never go away if I am being completely honest. I think more than acceptance, I just want to appreciate what I have right now. I’m pretty lucky that I am at least in a better mental spot than last year and can face bad news better. I don’t think I should take this for granted, it’s actually lovely to grow from where I was about a year and a half ago.

My parents were a bit more understanding in recent days and I know they can tell I’m trying not to be happy in anticipation. I am grateful but to be happy in my position would be a pretty naïve move to make, let’s appreciate the fact that I can talk to you guys right now – where would I be if the internet didn’t exist! It’s been a fun week-ish of talking to Tumblr for a while. Otherwise, I am just focussing on room-cleaning, none of which I did today but a lot of which I did yesterday. I will have to continue doing so probably towards the end of this week. Still a lot of clothes to fold and books to put away. Definitely going to have exam(s) to study for too. This Friday is supposed to be me watching Spiderman too, that will be pretty intense as well because I will have these exam results weighing on me. Hopefully I can grab those Taylor tickets, I cannot wait! I can let you guys briefly know my Taylor Swift journey below.

So I definitely only listened to singles growing up, which were catchy enough. I think I fell for the ‘she dates many boys in quick succession’ trope and this was quite puzzling to me. Mostly because I took it way too literally and didn’t really register the fact that 100 songs don’t mean 100 different boys – so that was not feasible, thus she hadn’t dated as much as the media was saying so. Although, growing up I was always told to be more selective with potential people to date and it was a bit frustrating to see someone allegedly ‘date’ so much. Further, more than that, I always thought that kind of thing could take a really big toll on someone emotionally, but I do suppose really good songs were inspired by these relationships. I guess I thought of this all a bit too practically. Then during quarantine, because my sister was getting really into Taylor Swift and also because I was really bored, I think I found songs that I liked. I had previously listened to Speak Now fully in my senior year of high school and really liked it because I thought it was fairly more balanced and spoke of things that weren’t only romance exclusively. I know now that pretty much all the albums have that theme somewhere but you really have to dig for these songs and the marketing for the other albums are very first love/heartbreak etc. so probably not a great entry point for someone who likes to listen to music that is either very simple, pop, party song or ways to deal with situations in life (in non-romantic contexts) which you encounter more frequently anyways. Looking for life hacks in music naturally. I did also like quite a few songs from 1989 mostly (again all the non-romantic ones) because I heard them on radio all the time to such an overplayed degree but I guess it was part of the vibe. I do appreciate the romance songs a bit more now that my age group sort of has more established relationships and a pretty extensive hunt happening. And these encounters are pretty important to keep an open mind about – I would say the All Too Well film was very infuriating (from Her's perspective) yet it should be taken as a word of caution honestly.

I believe it’s time to sign off now! I think I’ll post a gif/meme along with this post so things look a little more fun – here’s to Taylor Swift in her cruel summer get up for Eras Tour!

-yoshimonster-

#daily blog #grades #anixety #examination #taylor swift #eras tour #tickets #bloodbath

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one-last-puku · 2 years

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GAD really sucks. Getting fixated on a thing that I should be able to drop and move on from. Seriously.

I'm sweating because my mask performance is on 120% while I'm doing this training period.

I've realized a few things during training today. Either my brain really does struggle to keep up like my peers, or my trainer is being unreasonable. I'd venture to guess it's me. Too many times my brain blanked out while she was speaking and I felt beyond horrible each time I asked her to repeat herself. She then goes on like 'You'll need to be able to handle xx work.' 'This is a very important role.' 'If we decide you are fit for this position.' Like, obviously being told that, I can handle it, but it's that I want to beat myself up over every slip of the tongue and freeze my brain has. No seriously, in those moments I really want to beat myself up because my brain stopped working in such an important meeting. I want to beat myself up for the fact my brain freezes and she's still going on about needing to do -this -this -this -this -this and -this. and I have to go, hold on now, I need to get back to the second -this.

I feel so bad in those moments because she was already frustrated for a different situation. She has to also train a new recruit who is as slow as my dumbass. It is very important work and I so badly want to get up to the speed she wants as soon as possible, but I'm also worried she'll get the wrong impression before I'm given the chance to show I can do the job.

One of my biggest weaknesses is live speed. Like, being in conversation and being made to pull out the right words in the right time, while also speaking correctly without impediment. Impediment show to NT a lack of confidence.

One of my other biggest issues is the feeling I may some day have to tell her that I have adhd/nvld, her not knowing what the actual hell that is and just thinking 'I don't have the time to have to accommodate for this.' or believing that because I've said that or just the fact that it's true that I won't be able to do the job properly.

I mean, I am most likely fearing worst case scenario, but it is a very valid fear, I think. She's so curt and seems most interested in getting to the point of things that I wouldn't be able to explain anything anyway.

I think we both know I can do it once we get everything organized, but what she is seeing is how I am handling this training, which isn't 100% how I'll be when left to my own devices. When I'm left to work and not have to follow what a person is saying while also having to remember more than 5 things, while listening to those 5+ things and my hands performing the task at the very same time. As well as needing to speak to confirm I am following...

Biggest note, my anxiety doesn't really stem as much from a fear that I cannot do the task, it's that I will be cut off before I can prove I can do the task...

Then, despite knowing I can do the job, those doubtful words creep into my thoughts intrusively. 'What if you really are not fit for this job? What if you really aren't fit for any job actually? What if it ends up, the only jobs that can accept your dumbass are the ones that will never insure you can have a comfortable life? and you'll be stuck worrying about finances forever.'

It's not enough that I'm very good at many skills and or tasks, I have to be pro and super efficient at at least one of those skills... If I'm not "excellent", I can be replaced by someone who is.

#puku's random thoughts #negative #just journaling things don't mind me #private later

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logicalbookthief · 3 years

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Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME.

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder.

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power.

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass.

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION.

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class.

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest.

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season.

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’"

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

#christmas #christmas movies #how the grinch stole christmas #a christmas carol #elf #klaus #rudolph the red nosed reindeer #home alone #it's a wonderful life #the santa clause #this was a labor of love please clap

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crazygalore · 3 years

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GABRIEL MAY (MALIGNANT) NSFW ALPHABET

TW: mentions of dysmorphia, NSFW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Surprisingly, Gabriel actually NEEDS it, after each lovemaking session - no matter how gentle or how rough he was with you. He’ll draw the both of you a hot bath, and help you wash yourself. If you return the favour, this boy will positively melt, and let out tiny noises that sound suspiciously similar to little purrs. Afterwards, once he has patted your dry with a fluffy towel and dressed you in your favourite pyjamas, Gabriel will carry you to bed, and place you under the covers. Then, he will bring your favourite snacks and beverage, to enjoy while you huddle together to watch a movie before falling asleep.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Gabriel could never pick just one thing he loves about you - because he practically worships you body and soul. You are infinitely beautiful in his eyes, and the fact that you love and accept him for who he is feels like a miracle to him.

Since he doesn’t actually have a body of his own, he expresses his identity though clothes that he wears, which are different than the ones owned by Madison. Although they’re not body parts per say, he sees his leather coat and makeshift gold dagger as extensions of himself, and he enjoys donning them whenever he takes over his twin’s body. He will, sometimes, remain fully clothed during sex.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His pleasure is your pleasure, and he will make you cum as much as possible, if only to enjoy your desperate moans and whimpers.

Being transmasc and trapped his Madison’s body, he suffers from severe dysmorphia and doesn’t really enjoy being touched intimately. And, as stated HERE, he did communicate with his sister when the two of you decided to become intimate, because he felt like this specific situation called for his sister’s consent. She doesn’t have access to his memories regarding his sex life, though - which is for the best.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It’s not a secret that he loves watching you pleasure yourself. The first time he witnessed it, you weren’t aware he was there, lost as you were in the act, so he quietly enjoyed the show from the door, a smug smirk playing at the corners of his mangled mouth.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

You are Gabriel’s first and only love, and the only person who ever saw him as a human being, worth of respect and adoration. So he doesn’t have that much experience, but he did his research and tried to learn as much as possible about the human body’s erogenous spots. That makes up for his lack of actual physical experience, at least most of the times. But since your guys’ relationship is based on trust, respect and communication, Gabriel is never ashamed to ask what works for you, and what doesn’t.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary, since he usually uses his mouth, fingers or a strap-on to pleasure you - and he wants to be able to look at your face, kiss your lips and hold you in his arms during sex. Gabriel is a very tactile person, and extremely touch-starved, so he actually NEEDS to be held, caressed and comforted. It’s the main reason why he enjoys making love to you so much, because the physical intimacy is something he’d never experienced before.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I wouldn’t say he’s particularly goofy, but he isn’t very stoic either. If anything awkward ensures during sex, he will try to make you laugh about it, so that you can relax and move on.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn’t actually have a private area of his own, and its pretty much Madison’s business as to how she grooms her nether region. He doesn’t actually care about those parts, since he never uses them.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very intimate, very romantic and very needy. As stated above, he craves physical contact, and he melts whenever you treat him with gentleness and affection. Hold him, kiss him, caress his scarred cheeks, and tell him how good he makes you feel, and Gabriel will be putty in your hands.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t actually partake in this act, as he doesn’t enjoy looking at, or touching the private parts of the body he shares with his sister. But sometimes, he fantasizes about what he would do to you, if he had a body of his own.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Gabriel is surprisingly vanilla, but he can be pretty dominant in the bedroom. He will pin your wrists above your head, as he fucks you into the mattress, or guide you into touching yourself, his voice a mere growl coming from your phone’s speaker. Knife kink, maybe, but only when it comes to cutting off your clothes. He doesn’t wanna hurt you, so unless you insistently ask him to, Gabriel won’t hold his makeshift dagger to your throat, or drag its blade across your skin. After all, he has other ways to let out his violent frustrations, so he feels no need to bring that to the bedroom. He was hurt by people who abhorred him, and he returned the favour years later. Love and violence do not cross paths in Gabriel’s mind.

Also clothed sex, because he enjoys wearing his leather coat and gloves, as he teases your naked body mercilessly.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere inside the house, but the bedroom is his favourite, because it’s more private and safe. Plus, he enjoys taking his time, so the bed is the most comfortable option when it comes to lengthy lovemaking sessions.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Whenever you treat Gabriel with kindness and love, he will feel the need to bring you pleasure, and show you just how much he covets you. For him, sex is a means of expressing his affection for you - it’s an act of adoration and gratitude.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will NOT hurt you, ever, no matter how much you insist. You are the only person who has ever treated him right, and he cannot bear the thought of harming you in any way.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Enjoys giving, and is very enthusiastic about it. This boy will eat you out for hours, and has become fucking expert at it. He knows just how to angle his face, and use his teeth and tongue to cause you maximum pleasure. Your taste is heaven to him, and your needy moans and whimpers are music to his ears. He will edge you, he will overstimulate you, he will play your body like a violin, using his mouth and fingers alone.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the mood. Slow and sensual is his go to, but he can be rough if you ask him to. But regardless of the pace, Gabriel is ALWAYS very passionate, and completely dedicated to your pleasure. Also, this boy is inhumanly strong, so he may end up becoming rough without even realizing it - but in case it becomes too much, all you have to do is tell him, and Gabriel will apologise and treat you more gently.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not opposed to them, but he prefers taking his time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s willing to try anything, so long as it doesn’t cause you any actual harm. Hickeys and faint finger-shaped bruises happen a lot, since he doesn’t always calibrate his strength properly all the time.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Oh, he could go on forever. Remember he experiences pleasure exclusively through you, so he never gets tired of it.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Oh, yes, 100% a fan of toys, all of them meant to drive you utterly insane with pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The most unfair and maddeningly patient tease to ever walk this Earth. He will edge you until you’re crying and begging for release - and only then will he CONSIDER to maybe let you cum.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Low growls and muffled moans are the best he can do - although he may use your phone’s speaker to talk dirty to you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Gabriel really enjoys sucking on and playing with your nipples. And, yes, he has actually made you cum by solely teasing and fondling your chest.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

As I said, he uses a strap-on, which is just the right length and thickness to bring you maximum pleasure. In fact, the more I think about it, the more inclined I am to believe he consulted with you before buying it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I would say his sex drive is medium to low, so unless you initiate it - case in which he will be delighted to take you to the bedroom - he will rarely bring it up. But he does have his moments, when he simply craves your passionate embrace.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It depends. Sometimes he falls asleep as soon as aftercare has been performed, and sometimes he stays awake a little while longer, just to watch you sleep peacefully by his side.

#malignant #gabriel may #gabriel may x reader #malignant imagine #gabriel may imagine #malignant x reader #gabriel may headcanons #malignant headcanons #tw dysmorphia

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mallowstep · 3 years

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i literally havent been able to stop thinking about the wbcd thing, its so needed in the series. how do you decide which cats die when? do you weigh eventual offspring when deciding, like thornkit/claw eventually having four kits while lynxkit obviously having none? will "important" canonical deaths like swiftpaw, brindleface, etc count towards the death count for the season, or will those types of things be bonus deaths?

figured i'd answer this b4 i went to bed!

i need to scrub the wbcd posts from my queue and rewrite them up to a higher standard, but i'm going to keep the outcomes the same. i've gotten the hang of things now.

anyway, this is all done in one notebook, and the way i do it for wbcd is a little Special. (i've done similar things for fan-ish clans to make sure the numbers work out. they do, generally. sometimes you have bad luck.)

but wbcd doesn't account for moving to the elders' den, increased death rates because of moving to the elders' den, and i don't think i was doing double rolls (i'll explain) last time i queued the posts.

(it's a bit of a mess rn is why i need to scrub and rewrite. or maybe start a(nother) sideblog for it? just for my own sanity?)

anyway.

i've done this out a few times, and i've decided writing shit out by hand is best. maybe i just have no restraint and overcomplicate shit when i start typing, and someone else could make it work.

so first up, determining leader lives: i literally knock off 2/book. if i'm doing something for a fanclan, i generate numbers the same way i do for litters, a normal distribution with mean 2 and standard deviation 4. N(2, 16) if you want to be fancy. i've considered lowering the standard deviation, but i like the swingy-ness of it. (i also permit "gaining" lives to account for this. it's a little hokey, but it makes leaders live for the Right amount of time.)

deputies have a 1/10 chance of dying every season. all of my numbers, here, are estimations based on my initial calculations, then smoothed out to a number that easily goes into 100. again, i do wbcd in batches, and my methodology has changed slightly, so it's possible i was still not rolling for deputies.

seers/medicine cats (seer = 4 letters, and i'm writing by hand, also it fits the Aesthetics of the idea) have a 1/20 chance in dying. i don't usually bother rolling for them, though, because their deaths uh. don't matter? bc wbcd follows canon timeline, i can kill them for drama as needed.

as for warriors, they have a 1/25 chance in dying every season. i believe i calculated the odds for 1/10 living to 40 seasons and 1/3 living to 40 seasons, and then found a number that was easy to remember in between. because i don't track elders in wbcd, no one ever actually retires, but when i do this for other things, i give elders 1/10 chance of dying. just to make sure they don't stack up.

but! wbcd is special because i don't just roll and move on. what i do is, i roll for every warrior, and then i shuffle deaths. did whitestorm die, but i need him to live long enough to be firestar's deputy? well, XYZ is right there not doing anything, why not kill them instead?

and so on.

there's certainly a bit of favouritism going on: when i decided to kill barley, it Hurt me a Lot. but it needed to be done.

the factors that go into my decision are about what their death does to the future. killing whitestorm before he becomes firestar's deputy is frustrating to the plot in ways i didn't want to deal with. killing darkstripe early does nothing.

so non-canon characters (i don't want to say ocs, bc it's more lynxkit, ravenpaw & barley, etc) have a higher risk of dying, because their deaths, well, by their nature their deaths Cannot change the plot.

but that's not the same as offspring. see, blossomfall and thornclaw's kits are very, very, very minor. stemleaf is the only one who matters, and i can easily work around that.

so important canonical deaths do count in the seasonal tally, because the numbers are supposed to be high for drama. the only exception to this is that i rolled really well for the season of the great battle, so i ended up using my litter size generator for an extra number of deaths. i'd do this again for a time when there was that kind of Big Event Death if i rolled "too well."

now, you didn't ask about this, but i want to be thorough: how do i do kits and apprentices?

okay, apprentices are my favourite part, because they're the only group that has dynamic odds. uh, i'm going to say seasons, but what i mean is, when i'm on my leafbare page, i then roll to see who lives through newleaf, and i call that the newleaf roll. i know it's confusing, that's just the convention i started with.

so anyway, seasonal odds of death for apprentices

newleaf: 0/1 greenleaf: 1/10 leaffall: 1/5 leafbare: 1/10

if you recall my overall apprentice odds, this might seem odd, but you have to remember that "leaffall" really means "1 out of 5 apprentices dies every greenleaf."

i've considered flipping this, but for reasons i'll explain in kits, having the newleaf "palette cleanser" means that the warmer months aren't as brutal as they seem.

so for kits: when there's a litter born in a season, i don't do anything. if there are multiple, i try to space them out. there's not like. a reason for this, other than helping me keep the numbers straight.

for seasons with no litters, i generate a litter size and pick a queen who's "free."

the litter size generated is N(3, 9), or mean 3, standard deviation 3. negative numbers mean nothing here, and there's a fair amount of Large Litters. it would be realistic to split those up, but that takes a Lot of time and bookkeeping.

anyway, generated litters usually have no father, because you know. keeping things moving here. i pick a free queen, which basically means:

the queen whose next canon litter and last litter in wbcd are furthest away.

this is a balancing act, and i usually favour not giving a couple an early litter before their first canon litter. but if, say, willowpelt needs to have a litter in two seasons, even if she could have two litters back to back, i don't like doing that.

so i might find someone who has had their last canon litter and give them an extra one, or someone who's a while away from their next litter.

for generated litters, i give them an extra roll. because i disregard negatives, litter sizes trend larger than intended, so an extra first roll keeps them down. all rolls for kits are 1/5 odds of death.

but if i roll a 5, i circle the bullet point, and roll twice next season. this is because 4/5 * 4/5 is 0.64, which is more than my ideal survival rate of 0.50. add in another 4/5, for the bonus roll, and you drop to 0.512. the occasional extra rolls sends some kits down to 0.40 survival rating.

one day, i will figure out what those odds are to see if my numbers are still accurate, but having played this scenario out pretty far, i think it works.

i also employ the double roll for apprentices. hence having no rolls in leafbare means i can sort of. stop anything from cycling over.

if u have more questions about the mechanics/my process behind this, let me know. i hope i explained everything clearly, but it's all basically scribbled in a single notebook that i actually need to dig out so i can fix things.

thanks for asking! i'll be out with more wbcd content soon.

#thinking of making a sideblog for it #that way i can shuffle my queue with impunity #ask #yee-hawlw #love ur url by the way #mine #txt #essay

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faebriel · 3 years

Note

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

#ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK TWO WEEKS. LMFAO #asks #thespoonisvictory #dvd commentary #< i have successfully coerced a discord server into doing the dvd commentary on a regular basis and it is the BEST thing

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thotsforvillainrights · 3 years

Note

So now how about Toga, Shigaraki, twice, compress, hawks, Geten, nine, slice, chimera and mummy meeting a new member with some kind of godlike quirk, but when they meet her it turns out that she's pretty af but dumb as anything. Like literally trips head over heels, is accidentally hilarious, laughs at absolutely anything and is extremely clumsy. Like she literally is 100 times stronger than afo but she can't even remember where her house is lmao thanks

(Hope you don’t mind if I leave the reader’s orientation open ended like usual, so everyone can fit themselves in!)

~The Ditzy Goddess/God/Deity~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

~Toga~

-Not gonna lie, it confuses her at first. I mean usually when you’re so powerful, you’re vindictive right? I mean that’s what she learned from watching AFO or even when she’s just watching fictional villains in movies. So when she meets you, she’s more like...”What the hell??? Is this a side effect of the quirk?” Well all quirks should have a weakness right? Anyway, she likes you like this because it shows despite your power, you’re just a normal human being too. She also thinks your personality is pretty cute lol

~Shigaraki~

-Literally face-palms himself at you a million times a day. Like how can someone so powerful be so stupid? Take no offense to him saying this (it’s to be expected). Despite that, he does everything in his power to keep you away from AFO. If you end up being found, he at least makes sure you lie about your quirk or something (this is before Afo steals Ragdoll’s quirk btw). The reason is because Shiggy is scared master will either turn you into an unstoppable Nomu, or take your quirk and ultimately...your life. Tomura cannot let that happen, especially since he’s grown rather fond of you (fallen in love).

~Twice~

-Sees your personality and thinks nothing of it. You’re no different to him just because you could possibly take over the world if you really applied yourself. The reason why is because Jin looks at you and sees the type of person you are outside of your insane abilities. He much rather prefers watching you laugh at your own slipping in the kitchen than watching you destroy half the city. He makes sure you don’t join the league because he just doesn’t want you to be used by them. Of course he fails and you end up being the new member anyway. You have to stop him beating himself up about it and you remind him that you do what you want with your power despite anyone else’s opinions.

~Compress~

-Very impressed with you and will help you tighten up on any skills you might be lacking...which isn’t a lot to be honest. Mostly he’s really amazed at how mundane and domestic you can be. You could be halfway across the world making it rain fire on an entire region but here you are in the grocery store tapping watermelon to see which one is fresh or not. He finds it both amazing and endearing at the same time. Sako realizes the he wouldn’t want it any other way.

~Hawks~

-He loves laughing things out with you when you find silly things hilarious. He’s just about the same so you two couldn’t be anywhere serious in public because you both would be kicked out for snickering to each other lol. Keigo spends a LOT of time making sure you don’t accidently kill yourself around the house with how clumsy you can be. “I can’t believe I have to put cushions on the edge of the table because of you.” He teases while you gasp at him. “Excuse me sir, but it’s not my fault the carpet was extra slippery that day!” You two laugh it out and he’s seriously planning on making you his wife/husband/partner someday. Right now his main goal is to keep you AND your quirk out of the eye of the hero commission!

~Geten~

-Pretends like he hates it, but he absolutely makes it his life goal to be your protector. You forget a lot of shit and you’re pretty ditzy most of the time...okay, all of the time, but he loves you for it. No matter how many times you catch him rolling his eyes at you throughout the day, he still does everything for you out of love. Geten just wants to make sure you remain safe in his arms but he will NEVER admit that to you so don’t try and get him to lol. Despite all of this, he loves asking you to challenge him to a spar so he can sharpen his skills and become better. You beat him every time and of course he’s fuming, but when he looks at that perfect smile while you’re laughing at him, his heart just kinda flutters.

~Nine~

-Super worried about you in today’s society. He has a very strong quirk himself (one that’s killing him slowly as a result), so he knows how rough things can be. If your quirk doesn’t fit into the nice little box that society has created, then you’ll likely be shunned. However, he notices this isn’t the case with you. Despite having a massively powerful quirk, you seem to behave as if you don’t have one! In fact, you act as though you don’t have much of a brain either lol. He might find some peace of mind when he catches you flicking the door stop in the living room and laughing at the vibration sounds it makes. “What on Earth?” He laughs before hugging you tightly. Maybe he’s worried for nothing.

~Slice~

-She knows you probably share a braincell with like one other person but she’s okay with that. You’re like the light of her life basically. She’s not always the confident and arrogant sexy woman that she seems. Sometimes she has trouble finding motivation to get out of bed in the mornings. Thank God she has you to come in the room and bite her nose like a weirdo. You laugh and it’s contagious because now she’s sitting up in the bedroom laughing while rubbing her sore nose. You’re powerful, but you don’t flaunt it and that is perhaps one of the reasons why she adores you the most of all. You are unapologetically you, and Slice loves it!

~Chimera~

-”You’re one fry short of a happy meal, aint cha?” He says with a sigh as he watched you try to pull a door open that said ‘push’ on the handle. “Oh, whoops! haha!” He smirks to himself and shakes his head. You might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he still loves you. With so much power, he sometimes feels like it’s a waste but then he watches you try to shove an ice cube in a water bottle under the idea that ‘it’ll melt soon’ and he figures it must be for the best right? Best believe if anyone insults your intelligence beside him, he’ll kill them. He knows you’re strong enough to protect yourself but you just don’t...because you were probably too busy zoning out to notice some asshole insulted you

~Mummy~

(I think this is the first time I’ve written for him since adding him to the list. Whoooo!!!)

-He gets a little frustrated thinking about all the power you have just going to waste while you’re sitting here watering plants in the apartment and bumping into the bookshelf literally every day. He might actually end up fussing about it a little bit but if he upsets you then he’s going to apologize (mostly because he’s scared you’ll destroy him if he doesn’t). Despite this, he’s going to try and motivate you towards some for of training or villainy. It’s up to you whether or not you choose hero/villain/or civilian. Either way, he admits he still loves you even if you two don’t always see eye to eye. He can’t see himself without you!

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

#toga #shigaraki #twice #compress #hawks #geten #nine #slice #chimera #mummy #bnha #lov #league of villains #heroes rising

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thebigoblin · 3 years

Note

For some reason i was listening to this is home - cavetown and came to the crushing realization that if fits sterek kinda well???? Its always been my song for comfort but the other day i was listening to it and got slapped in the face by sterek feels-

I just listened to it right now (x) and I have soooo maaaanyyy feeels. Goddammit, Sterek. Let me have one hour in peace.

Anyways. So.

Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess

This avoids the stress of falling out of it

Are you tired of me yet?

This is soo Derek. He has been burned by love (both literally and figuratively), first with the death of his first love (which he had to do, even if it was a mercy killing he did kill her) and then he thought this woman loved him enough to want him as he was: broken, young, inexperienced. Grieving.

And then Kate showed him exactly what it means to love someone like him.

It always ends in death.

So now Derek doesn't fall in love. He doesn't even make friends, doesn't socialize. He doesn't let anyone enter the fortress of his solitude, not even Laura, knowing he is the reason they've lost their pack. He doesn't deserve that kind of love.

He waits for Laura to tire of him. To be frustrated and angry at him, to tell him he means nothing to her anymore, because even though he hasn't told her he knows why the fire happened—knows who did it—he is been nothing but a thorn in her side, anything but helpful in her endeavor to help rebuild their lives.

He waits and waits for Laura to tire of him, to kick him out of the two person pack—and she does. But not the way he wanted.

She dies and leaves him alone and there is no one to nag at him to get his shit together, to make him see that he can be loved, should be; but it's not at all what he wanted.

I'll hide my chest

And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

This can be both Derek and Stiles... but I see it more for Stiles. Idk why.

Derek plays his cards close to his chest, but he does all he can to try and protect the others. We don't really see him be anything but angry in the earlier parts of the show, and you can't make me believe that the person who gave up his Alpha powers for his sister, who trusted Peter (when he was the Alpha) despite the things he'd done simply because he's family, won't be grieving for the only family he thought he had.

And then there's Stiles. Stiles '147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bones. Sarcasm is my only defense' Stilinski who is human and logically the weakest person in a show of mythical creatures. And he is. He is weak. Physically, he knows he can't take on Peter or the Kanima or the Alpha Pack. And he is terrified of that. But you know what he does? He fights in spite of that. He talks, he plans, he misguides, and he fights. He fights because he won't let anyone hurt him or the ones he wants to keep safe.

Stiles, too, 'hides' his true feelings and figures out a way to get them out of their problems. (Does that make sense??)

Are you dead? Sometimes I think I'm dead

'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head

But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

This one is kinda self-explanatory isn't it... Derek is haunted by his past and it's made him into a person who can and is willing to sacrifice his own life without a second thought.

'I know what I'm risking. My life for theirs.'

He doesn't exactly have anything to live for. But he's brave. He's going through hell and he keeps going.

He doesn't want to sleep. Not yet.

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

His mind is in a different place

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space

Get a load of this train-wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

The first two lines... these are also self-explanatory. I see this as things Stiles thinks (not the monster part, not once he's rationalized that mythical creatures exist in the world) about Derek. (Honesty, I think we all think that lol).

Derek is not good at communication. He wants something but he does something else. He wanted Isaac to leave him so that The Alpha Pack can't leverage his third beta against him, hurt him/kill him like Erica (and Boyd, but I don't remember if he was alive during this time or not), but the way he made Isaac leave was to bank on Isaac's trauma—if I am remembering correctly, this is when he throws the glass at Isaac.

Derek is so not good at communication. And he is definitely a train-wreck; he never wanted to be the Alpha and he still becomes one. He never wanted for Laura to come back to BH (probably why he himself didn't come back here while she did) but she did anyways and he lost her. He didn't want to kill Peter, but he had to anyway.

He lost who he was in the chaos of his life. And he doesn't know who he is anymore—he isn't even the Alpha anymore, he's lost that, and he's been human too.

He keeps losing who he is. He keeps losing his identity.

Derek Hale doesn't know who he is supposed to be.

But maybe...

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open arms

...This is how it was supposed to be.

Maybe this was all fate. All of it, from the loss of Paige to his evolution, maybe it was all mapped out in the stars. Maybe it was supposed to happen.

Just so he could find who he is.

And who he is? He's the best legacy his family could have asked for. He's a predator, and he's a killer, but he's not a cold-blooded killer. He's strong, he's brave, and he is good. He's someone who has had the worst life but come out of it a brighter person, a burning sun; a moon that shines brighter the more that it wanes, because Derek? He's learned to hide his craters, and he's learned to live with them.

Alternatively, though, 'the stars' could also mean Stiles (his moles, scattered along his skin like constellations), the only one who opened his arms for Derek even when he didn't have to. Like saving his life even when they weren't anything to each other.

Time is slowly

Tracing his face

But strangely he feels at home in this place

Time heals wounds, doesn't it?

Derek gets better with time. He doesn't just live, but he's alive. He is living.

Since I've gone full canon up until now, I'll continue post-canon here: Stiles and Derek, we know how their story goes up till S6B. We know how much Stiles means to Derek and Derek to Stiles, even if it wasn't strictly said aloud in canon.

We know.

And I... well. I think that Stiles and Derek say it aloud. To each other. How much they matter to each other.

It might be during one of those high-tension missions, the pack preparing to fight against Monroe, making plans and doing everything they can. Stiles is planning, laying out rules and objectives and making sure to drill into one of them how important this is, and Derek watches him and he watches Lydia, the girl who has Stiles' heart. (Only she doesn't, and she knows it).

And then Stiles says he will come, too. But it's too dangerous.

Derek immediately objects.

Everyone goes deathly silent. Because Stiles is the one who is 100% capable of them all, who is the best on their side (being FBI does that, as does being part of ops like this since he was 16, even if Stiles wasn't as badass as he is now).

Stiles is angry.

"So, what, you wanna be the martyr, then? Is that what you want?"

Derek is angrier. (He is terrified).

"You'll get hurt!"

"I will not! Even if I do, it's my fucking job—I'll get hurt if it means keeping you all safe!"

"You can die!"

"So I will die!"

"No, Stiles, you will not. I—"

"What do you mean I will not—"

"—can't lose you too!"

Yes, this is total cliché, but I am a total simp for cliché so :D

And yeah, after? When they've defeated Monroe and are back to 'normal,' Derek and Stiles fill the parts of each other that they've lost over the years. They make a home for themselves. In each other, with each other.

(And okayyyyy, wow. I did not mean to get so into this but... here we are. I totally obsessed over this lol).

(Also this is a beautiful song, if a bit sad? Anyways, now I have a new song to listen to so thanks <3)

#answered ask #derek hale #stiles stilinski #sterek #teen wolf #wowzee this is a looooong post #♥️♥️♥️#dirtbag-inc

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seungmoroll · 3 years

Text

It’s Just a Number | Hui

Word count: 1.9k

Genre: angst, happy ending, hui x younger!reader

Requested: yes

A/n: thank you lovely anon for my first pentagon request! I hope you enjoy it!

To say you were nervous about tonight would be an understatement. Tonight will be the first time your father is meeting your boyfriend, Hui. A friend of yours had been insisting on setting you up on a blind date with their friend, and eventually you got tired of their persistence, and agreed, thinking that if you said yes, they’d finally leave you alone. Honestly, you weren’t expecting much from the date, but now you could say that you were glad that you told them yes because six months later you were now with the very same man that you had been set up with.

While at a stoplight, you take a peek at Hui in the driver seat. He’s anxiously shaking his leg; you can tell that he’s nervous as well. As a way to make him relax, you gently take his hand and give it a firm squeeze. Hui physically relaxes as soon his he feels your touch. He brings your hand to his lips and lays a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

“Nervous?”

“Something like that.”

“Don’t be. I’m sure that they’ll love you.” The look he gives you before he begins to drive off lets you know that he doesn’t quite believe your words.

When the two of you arrive at your house, it takes a moment for the two of you to actually leave the car. You patiently wait as Hui collects himself. Taking a deep breathe, he eventually says, “Okay, let’s go.”

As the two of you wait for your parents to open the door, Hui begins to fiddle with the bouquet of flowers that he’s brought for your mother. When the door opens, you are happily greeted by your mom.

“Y/n! It’s been too long! Have you been eating?” Your mom takes a hold of your face to inspect you. “Mom,” you groan out, “Please let go of my face.” Letting go of you, she finally turns to Hui, “Oh my, I didn’t expect you to bring such a handsome man home. Please come on in!” Stepping into your house, Hui presents the flowers to your mom, “These are for you.” Your mom happily takes the flowers from him, exclaiming that he was such a gentleman.

“Is that Y/n I hear?” The sound of your father’s voice comes from the kitchen. Emerging into the living room, your father quickly goes in for a hug, giving you a tight squeeze. When he let’s go of you, he turns to Hui, and his expression immediately changes into a serious one. Reaching out for a handshake, your father warily takes Hui’s hand. You can tell that your dad was being a bit too firm with the way Hui’s hand trembles.

“It’s nice to meet you sir.”

“Uh-huh.” Glaring at your dad, you elbow him in the side. The room has now gone silent, with only the sounds of your mom in the kitchen being the only noise in the house. You try to think of something to say, but fortunately your mom has good timing because she yells out, “Dinners ready!”

When the four of you are situated at the dinner table, you all begin to dig in. For the most of it, your mother does all the talking, all while your dad glares at Hui. Underneath the table, you rest a hand on Hui’s lap as a way to make him relax, which only helps a bit because you can still feel the way that he’s tense.

“So Hui, Y/n tells us that you’re a producer, how’d you get into that?” Your mom’s question manages to get Hui relaxed. When it came to producing, Hui could easily talk about it for hours, so thankfully your mother brought it up.

“As a child I was always interested in music, so it was an easy choice for me to decide to go into a music career. As for being a producer, I’ve just always like creating my own music, even if I’m not the one performing them.”

“That’s wonderful that you chose to do something you love.” Before anyone else could get another word in, your father speaks up, “I don’t know if this was mentioned, but how old are you Hui?” You knew you were forgetting to tell Hui something, and your father’s question just reminded you of it. You haven’t actually told your parents that Hui was four years older than you. It’s not like it was a big deal or anything, which is why you didn’t mention it, but you knew that your dad didn’t like the idea of you dating older guys because the last time you dated an older guy, he completely broke your heart.

“I’m 27 sir.” The sound of silverware clattering follows Hui’s response.

“27?” Your father is now looking at you, and you do your best to avoid his gaze. Unintentionally, you tightly squeeze Hui’s thigh, causing for him to look at you as well. The sound of a chair scraping against the floor catches your attention, and you see your father getting up from his seat, “I’m sorry Hui, but I think you need to leave.”

“Dad.”

“No, Y/n. I cannot have you dating a 27-year-old.”

“Dad,” you plead.

“Sir-“

“Sweetie-“

“No,” your dad says, cutting off everyone, “I will not accept you dating a guy with a four-year age gap.”

“But dad-“

“I said I won’t allow it, Y/n.” You found it ridiculous how your father wouldn’t let anyone get a word in. While off to the side Hui was completely speechless.

“Dad, you’re being completely unreasonable right now.”

“No, I’m not Y/n. Last time you were with an older guy, he broke your heart and me and your mother had to pick up the pieces. I refuse to see my child go through something like that again.” At this point, you were beginning to grow frustrated with your father. Hui was a completely different guy from your ex, and your father would know that if he only got to know him.

Finally speaking up, Hui speaks to your father, “Sir, I know that Y/n’s last relationship put them in a rough spot, but I promise you, I would never intentionally hurt Y/n like that. I truly love Y/n and hurting them is the last thing I want to do.”

“It’s the last thing I want you to do, which is why I cannot allow for you to date Y/n. I’m sorry, but I’d like for you to leave now.” With that being said, you dad takes his leave, leaving the rest of you stunned. Getting up from his seat, Hui apologizes to your mother, “I’m sorry, I seemed to have ruined dinner.”

“Oh no sweetie, it’s not your fault at all. He’s- He’s just very protective of Y/n, that’s all. I think he just needs some time to digest everything.”

“I should take my leave now I guess.” Hui begins to make his way to the door. Getting up from your chair, you stop him in his tracks, “Hui, wait-“

“No, Y/n, I should just go.”

“Please don’t.” Slowly approaching you, Hui plants a gently kiss on your forehead, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He then parts from you, bidding you and your mother a goodbye.

Angry and frustrated, you make your way to your dad. Storming into your father’s office, you ask him, “What was that about?” You could not believe that your father had the audacity to do that to you and Hui.

“I did what I had to do Y/n. I did what was best for you.”

“Best for me? Hui is the best thing that’s happened to me, and now because of you, I might’ve lost him for good.”

“There’s other fish in the sea.” You could do nothing but gawk at your father, “I don’t want just any fish in the sea, I only want Hui.” As the minutes pass, your anger towards your father began to build up. “If you can’t accept the fact that there’s a age gap between me and Hui then I don’t think I should come back home.” Your statement causes for your father to finally turn around and look at you.

“You don’t mean that. Y/n, he’s just another guy.” That’s where your father was wrong. To you, Hui wasn’t just any other guy. You saw Hui in your future, and you weren’t going to let something stupid like an age gap ruin that for you.

“I’m sorry dad, if you can’t accept our relationship, then I can’t come back here.” With that being said, you leave your dad’s office, giving your mother an apologetic look as you leave, to which she sends you an understanding look.

That very night, you call Hui and let him know that you chose to be with him, not caring what your father thought of your relationship. At first Hui had made sure to ask you if you were making the right decision, not wanting to be the reason for there to be a rift between you and your father. You had reassured him that you were 100% with your decision.

It had taken you two weeks for you to talk to your father again. Your mother kept you updated on him, telling you that she was doing her best to change his mind, but unfortunately, she had no luck. Which is why it came as a shock to you when your father had unexpectedly showed up at your door. Silently, you let your father in. When you had shut the door, the first things to come out of your father’s mouth was, “I’m sorry.” Unable to do anything but look at him, you wait for him to say more.

“I know that what happened two weeks ago was out of character for me, but you have to understand, you’re my child and all I want to do is protect you from all the evils in the world.” You knew your father had the best intentions for you, but it didn’t excuse the fact that he was rude to both you and Hui.

“Dad, I understand that, but I’m not a child anymore, I’m a grown adult. I can take care of myself now.”

“I know, but I’m your father. I’m always going to want to protect you.”

“And that’s fine, but you can’t control the people that I date. I love Hui, the difference in our ages doesn’t matter to me. He likes me for me, and I like him for him.”

“I understand that now. Your mother told me the things you told her, and I want to make it up to you and Hui and really get to know him.” Suddenly the door to your apartment swings open, Hui busting through with a bag of food in his hands, “I got take ou-“ He stops mid-sentence as he looks back and forth between you and your father. You can tell by the way his eyes shake that he was contemplating backing out of the room. Quickly, taking his side, you grab a hold of his arm, “Hui, I think there’s something that my father has to say to you.”

Clearing his throat, your father says to Hui, “I think we got off on the wrong foot, and if you let me, I’d like to get to know you better.” It takes a moment for Hui to respond, but when he does, a smile breaks through his face, “I would like nothing more than that sir.”

A/n: yay! my first pentagon request! my requests are open, so if you want to, send something in! these are the groups I write for: x

masterlist

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unweavinglies · 4 years

Text

Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child

So a quick disclaimer: Yes, I am very aware that this is most likely not canon, or at least not what the writers intended on being canon, nor am I saying that this is 100% canon and should be considered as such. This is just a fan theory/analysis I came up with for my own enjoyment and wanted to share with others, as I like coming up with theories/analysis posts and reworking canons to make enhanced stories and character development in my perspective. I firmly believe that the idea of making theories isn’t supposed to be a shouting contest to see which opinion is the most loud and correct, but should be something to share with others and find acceptance and understanding in different interpretations, even if you don’t agree with them.

Well, this has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?

I’ve been talking about wanting to do this analysis for months now to various friends and acquaintances, but I’ve only had the motivation to do as such recently, after writing a short story that dived deeper into Gonta’s mindset over the Mercy Killing Plot he and Kokichi attempted to carry out. Regardless of that, however, Gonta has been one of my favorite characters for quite some time, and I really feel like his character arc and the unfortunate tragedy behind the unintentional mistreatment of Gonta via his classmates.

So without further adieu, let’s talk about that--about what happens when a genius is treated like a child.

Warning, this does discuss some rather unfortunate topics, such as ableism, depression/self loathing, and the concept of mercy killing. Viewer discretion is advised.

The first thing we need to elaborate on, is why I am calling Gonta a “genius.” Gonta has shown difficulty in understanding simple concepts, and struggles to follow along complicated plots, such as we see in his Salmon Mode Event where he mentions that he cannot follow the plot of high fantasy stories because they tend to be so complicated. He even refers to himself as not very smart, tragically enough.

However, not is all what it seems for Gonta, as his intellect is a matter of fact, and not just an analysis, and the game’s introduction of him opens up this fact to the player in a round about way that may or may not be so subtle.

Gonta admits here that he was a wild child, lost in the forest for ten years. While the logistics are... questionable, this is a work of fiction, thus I will suspend some disbelief. Gonta being lost in the forest for ten years means that he was probably about 5-8 years old when he was lost, depending on how old he is in the game.

Touching upon this briefly, studies of wild children, specifically referencing this case here, have an extremely hard time readjusting and learning to human language, customs, and interaction. The younger a child is upon becoming a wild child and the longer they are in the wild, the less likely they will be able to learn language and certain social behaviors and skills. While it is not impossible, the likelihood of Gonta being 15 or 16 in the game is very low, and even impossible once I elaborate, and we can safely assume that with the context of him being a wild child, he is probably at least 17 years old. So a safe assumption is that Gonta was lost in the forest when he was about 7.

(Note: I am very well aware of Gonta’s potential forest family not being wolves, and instead the reptites, but these creatures Gonta speaks of very well be his own imagination spiking from the isolation from humanity, or be something else entirely. Gonta makes several references to video game characters as well, claiming he met them in real life, so I consider it highly unlikely that “reptites” are an exception to this. Either way, it won’t matter if you believe otherwise, just that it may change certain aspects of what I’m about to say in regarding education and the sort.)

What’s the point of this elaboration? Well, quite a lot, once you remember that Gonta is the Ultimate Entomologist.

Firstly, there is the fact that Gonta is a high school student at all. Gonta was lost at a very young age--it would be impossible for him to be, since not only had he spent 10 years int he wild, but he also had to rejoin human society, relearn human language and customs, and then be put back into formal education. If Gonta is still a teenager and not over 21, then Gonta would have to cram in a decade’s worth of formal education into a few months, or a few years, at most.

This makes Gonta a literal prodigy.

Had Gonta not been isolated from humanity for a decade, Gonta would have been a child prodigy, a literal genius with an intellect that couldn’t be so easily matched. Having the capacity to learn advance mathematics, language (although in the English version, he is struggling with speak (speaking with the infamous “caveman” speech pattern) scientific methods, all of it within such a short amount of time proves that Gonta is, without a shred of doubt, a genius.

Even if you take the aforementioned reptites into account, it only makes Gonta’s accomplishments slightly less impressive, depending on your interpretation of what the reptites actually are. This is because Gonta still had to engage with formal education, and even in the best case scenario where the reptites were fully advanced beings with a civilization and education (which I quite doubt, if they were, then why not give Gonta back to the human race when he was still a child? Why not guide him back to his kind? Why keep him? Even if they were afraid of humanity, it would be far, far worse for the humans to find them while looking for their lost son... I digress.) Gonta still had to learn Japan’s education. Their history, their language, their social customs--and then, Gonta had to learn how to be an entomologist.

You need to go to college to be an entomologist.

According to this website here, the basic, bare bones higher education one needs in order to apply for certain positions related to entomology is a bachelor’s degree, with most positions and places requiring a doctoral decree. There are, of course, youth clubs for students under eighteen, but from my understanding, in order to be considered an entomologist, you need a college degree.

Gonta is a high school student.

For him to be considered an Ultimate Entomologist, Gonta would have to have taken college courses and gotten some kind of degree in order to be recognized as such. Thus, Gonta is still learning a higher education within a short period of time that is incredible for any human being his age, whether it be as drastic as him having no sort of education while living in the wild, or living with the reptites.

Either way, it is safe to say that Gonta is very intelligent, whether or not he is potentially a prodigy for it.

However, this has very unfortunate implications of the way Gonta is treated by his peers in the game.

Not only does Tsumugi here reenforce that idea in everyone else’s mind...

She blatantly tells Gonta that he was being manipulated and or “tricked” into abducting everyone...

When, in actuality, not only did Gonta know exactly what he was doing:

Kokichi even elaborated on his plans quite explicitly to Gonta:

And earlier on, the rest of the class had been treating him differently than they treat one another, sort of like he was a young child they needed to guide.

For example;

Kirumi assumes Gonta is not very aware that hitting someone with such an object is dangerous... despite him being a peer to his classmates and a young man.

And when Gonta has a pretty valid concern;

He is instructed against it and/or ignored on the subject:

Even Kaede slips up a little;

And during the investigation...

Himiko is 100% convinced here that Gonta is the culprit, to the point where she is trying to trick him with this kind of phrasing.

“Are you not, not the culprit?” equates to “Are you the culprit?”

“Are you not, not, not the culprit?” equates to... I believe it would be “Are you not the culprit?”

And that’s the thing:

Like how even I was confused and unsure about the triple ‘nots’ of Himiko’s statement, Gonta is too. Very reasonably so, actually--it’s extremely awkward phrasing purposefully meant to manipulate Gonta into saying he’s the culprit of Rantaro’s murder, and it takes Kaito and Himiko to realize that it was them causing the problem when Kaede called them out on such.

And again, after Gonta explains his actions during the murder, he gets very frustrated;

Already, we are seeing the effects piling up, leading to a frustrated, angry outburst.

And by far, one of the worst examples of this sort of unintentional ableism is this:

And Himiko even just... flat out does this:

By “dumbing down” the explanation of right and left, and not noticing that Gonta is left handed, she caused him to accidentally switch the wires on the headset, causing the memory error and making this entire trial all the more worse for him. By treating him like a child, like the theme of this trial, she only made things worse for him.

And that’s the problem.

Despite Gonta trying to tell everyone that he has no idea what they’re even talking about, everyone just assumes he “can’t understand the Virtual World” and brushes him off. Again and again, Gonta was treated like a child and brushed off, and this time, it came with a heavy consequence.

These instances of “guiding” Gonta are subtle, and on their own, aren’t much to address as anything more than suggestions or words of caution. However, there is a very clear theme of “we have to tell Gonta what he should do” that starts in Chapter 1 and continues on until the end of Chapter 4. They’re unintentionally telling him that Gonta needs to be guided and needs to be reminded of pretty obvious and basic knowledge, and worst of all, that he can’t be trusted to think for himself and thus needs someone to tell him how to think and feel.

If it was one or two times, that would be a whole other story. However, these instances pile up, higher and higher throughout the entire span of Gonta’s time in the Killing Game, and the majority of the class ends up dismissing or ignoring Gonta’s concerns.

This sparks a growing desire to prove himself, to prove that he can be useful during the trials. To prove to his peers that he can do something on his own, think for himself, decide for himself, except even until his final moments;

Even after Gonta’s Alter Ego telling himself and everyone explicitly that he was not tricked into killing Miu...

... No one listens.

Instead of listening to Gonta, over and over, they continue to brush him off and treat him like a child they had to care for, and yet no one stopped to consider that Gonta is a young man. An intelligent, young man who’s socially awkward, but never the less, a peer to them. Yet they didn’t treat him like a peer, and in the end...

Gonta died thinking he was an idiot. A child. A burden who made everything worse for everyone else. They all considered him as a child, and that’s how they saw him even in his final moments.

Gonta throughout the game constantly tries to prove himself, but no one is paying attention. When he learned of the Secret of the Outside World, Gonta didn’t even have anyone else to turn to for help or comfort. His feelings of uselessness compounded by the desperation to prove himself as an equal to everyone else drove him to agreeing to mercy kill the rest of the group... because how else was a stupid, burden of a child supposed to help anyone as he was? Even though he knew killing was wrong, with Kokichi’s plan, he was able to do something “for everyone,” and even that compounded into the ultimate failure.

It’s an unfortunate reality, because had the class treated him as a fellow classmate and peer, this might have been preventable.

Either way, what do you think? Was discussing the unintentional class ableism in depth towards Gonta a bit... too much? I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever done such a post, so you’ll have to forgive me. It’s also been quite a while since I made a proper analysis, hasn’t it? I must be a little rusty...

I will say--please, do not use this post for any discourse regarding the ableism and what have you if you choose to agree with this interpretation. I will not stand for it.

Either way, I hope you at least found this post to be food for thought. See you all next time.

#gonta gokuhara #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #analysis #theory #character analysis #ableism mention tw #self hatred mention tw

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

Violent Delights

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis: Tony finds out about your relationship with Peter and forces you to break up. You tell yourself what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, but it ends up hurting you

Part Two

Masterlist

Keeping things from your father wasn’t easy, but you’d managed to hide the fact you were dating Peter for exactly 78 days, four hours, and twelve minutes.

Kisses were exchanged in FRIDAY’s blind spots and you’d only hold hands out of sight or when you were alone. Your dad knew you and Peter were close friends, so he didn’t question the date nights, though he didn’t know they were dates, or the frequent trips to each other’s rooms. Being with Peter was amazing on its own, but keeping it a secret made it exhilarating. As much as you loved it, you knew your time as a secret couple wouldn’t last forever. The other Avengers were getting suspicious. There had been too many instances of you falling asleep on Peters shoulder during a movie or Peter mysteriously having lipstick on his lips for them not to notice. Despite their suspicions, no one said anything.

You watched your father walking out of the kitchen one afternoon before leaning across the kitchen table and planting a kiss on Peters lips.

“What was that for?” He smiled in surprise at your sudden display of affection.

“Because I adore you.” You put the last bite of your sandwich in your mouth. “Are you ready to spar?”

“That gluten free bread really got you energized.” Peter laughed as you bounced up and down on your heels.

“You know it, baby.” You put your arms around his neck and started to lean in.

“Baby? I believe his name is Peter.” Your dads voice came from behind you and you jumped, quickly putting your arms behind your back. You spun around and you and Peter put on your most innocent smiles. Tony gave you both a quizzical look as he retrieved the cell phone he had left on the kitchen counter.

“It was an insult actually, since Peter is so feeble and weak.” You said quickly. You squeezed your eyes shut at the lame cover up.

“That’s my girl.” Tony smirked. “But “baby” is a little on the kinder side. I’d call him “fetus” if I were you.” Tony put his phone down and picked up and apple instead. He took a bite of the apple, kissed your forehead, and left the room. You let out a breath of relief and turned back to Peter.

“Fetus?” He asked sharply.

“I’m sorry! I had to think of something quick.” You apologized. “He almost caught us.”

“He almost caught you. I was just an innocent bystander. That would’ve been your fault.” He put his hands on your waist and pulled you towards him so your chests were touching.

“Do you really want to play the blame game with someone you’re about to spar with?”

“Good point. Sorry, sweetheart. It was our fault.” He smiled before pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, what do you think you’re doing?” Your fathers voice booming made you break away from his kiss immediately. Your stomach dropped and Peters face turned a hot shade of red. You jumped out of his embrace to face your father.

“Dad! What are you doing back in here?” You stammered.

“I forgot my phone.” Tony said calmly, never taking his eyes off Peter, as he picked up his phone. “Does Fetus want to explain why he was just kissing my daughter?” He cocked his head and stared daggers at Peter.

“Uhh, no?” Peter squeaked under Tony’s glare. Tony let out a short, humorless laugh and you held your breath.

“No? If I wanted to laugh right now, Parker, I’d watch Cap to try and use the DVR again. Do I look like I’m in the mood to laugh?” He looked at you for an answer to his question and you shook your head.

“No. You don’t look in the mood to laugh.” You answered.

“That’s what I thought.” Tony nodded curtly and turned back to Peter. “So, humor me. Why were you kissing my daughter?”

“Because she’s my girlfriend, sir.” Peter toughened up and looked Tony in the eye. “I was kissing my girlfriend.”

“His what?” Tony looked at you with an eerie smile that made your spin tingle.

“His girlfriend.” You repeated, trying to be brave. “Peter and I are dating, dad.”

Tony looked down at his shoes as if he was examining his feet. He nodded while keeping his head down.

“How long?” He muttered.

“Dad-“ You tried.

“How,” he snapped his head to you, “long?”

“Two months.” You said quietly.

“And 18 days.” Peter added and Tony let out a little laugh.

“But that’s it.” You promised. “Just the two months.”

“You’ve been dating Peter behind my back for two months?” Tony walked over to you and asked, unable to conceal the disappointment in his voice. You racked your brain for the least disappointing answer you could give you father.

“And 18 days.” Peter cut in again. You shot him a look and he looked down in shame. Tony whipped his head around to glare at Peter.

“Sorry.” Peter mumbled.

“Oh, you’re gonna be sorry. In fact, you better start praying I even give you a chance to be sorry.” Tony left you and stood directly in front of Peter. “I do not want to hear another word out of you, kid. You better run before I lose it.”

“Mr. Stark, if you could just let me expla-“ Peter began.

“I don’t want an explanation from you, Parker. I don’t want anything but your absence. You better run home right now and start praying I let you set foot back in this building ever again. I hope you enjoyed your two months and those precious 18 days because they’re over now. You are forbidden from dating my daughter, do you understand me? Beat it. I mean it.” Tony said through gritted teeth just to Peter so you couldn’t hear. Even with no audio, you knew it had to be bad.

“Dad, please. This is as much my fault as it is Peters. Don’t take it all out on him.” You spoke up and Tony looked at you. You could see the pain in both his and Peters eyes.

“Oh, trust me honey, I’m not. You’ll get your bit later.” Tony assured you. “Right now, I need Peter to leave this building and not look back.”

“Dad-“ You tried again.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” Peter cut you off while giving Tony an apologetic look. He picked up his backpack and swiftly walked out without a goodbye. You watched him leave and soon you and your father were alone. Tony just stood there, watching the door Peter left out of.

“I know you’re mad, but that was completely ridiculous and he-“ You broke the silence.

“Zip it, arachnophobia. You and I are gonna have a little talk in my lab. Now.” He demanded. You gulped and followed him to the lab where he closed the doors behind you.

“When we’re you gonna tell me that you and Spider-Boy were together?” He asked as soon as the doors closed. He didn’t look as angry anymore. More so on the disappointed side, which was 100 times worse.

“We were gonna tell you, I promise we were, but we didn’t know how.” You said, feeling your face heat up. You knew you were in deep trouble.

“And you couldn’t figure it out two months and 18 begrudging days?” Tony asked rhetorically.

“You know how you’ve been since we all took on Thanos. You’ve been more protective than usual, and I get that, but you haven’t been most open to me doing much of anything. You won’t even let me use the microwave anymore.” You tried to lighten the mood but he didn’t crack a smile at your attempt.

“That’s because I listened to my daughter turn to dust over an intercom five years ago.” Tony reminded you. You felt the guilt pool in your tummy. You were turned to dust while talking to your dad on the Avengers intercom, and he could never forget how it sounded. Ever since you returned, he was extra precautious about and around you.

“I’m sorry, dad.” You said weakly, not knowing what else to say.

“Don’t apologize.” Tony pinched his nose bridge and tried to calm down. “This is just jarring for me, okay? I was under the impression that you and Peter were friends.”

“We were.” You insisted. “Until we became more. When we came back from the snap, we realized how short life was. He kissed me that night and I let him. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.”

Tony looked at you for a long time. It was still strange for him to be so much older when you were the same age. He took you in in the last moments before he had to break your heart. He sighed and nodded his head.

“I forbid you from dating Peter.” He said finally. You recoiled and felt your brain short circuit for a moment at your fathers words. You blinked in surprise and looked at your father in betrayed confusion.

“What?” You asked.

“I don’t approve of this relationship.” He told you with a sad shake of his head. “You’re too young and he’s too…Peter.”

“You cannot be serious.” You felt tears sting your eyes when he showed no sign of joking.

“Deadly serious, actually.” Tony quipped. “You have to break up with him or there will be consequences.”

“Like?” You folded your arms in frustration.

“Like him losing his suit and all Avengers privileges. Like you not being allowed to help with missions anymore. Like you being cut off from the Stark credit card. Need I go on?” Tony rattled off. You felt a shortness of breath at the feeling you were gonna lose this argument.

“It’s Peter Parker, dad.” You reminded him. “I thought you liked him.”

“Oh, I love Peter. But I’m not going to allow you to date a boy who will break your heart.” Tony said simply as he began to type away on a keyboard.

“He won’t break my heart!” You exclaimed, even more frustrated at him barely paying attention.

“He will. He’s a superhero, Y/n. Superhero’s are bad news.” Tony sighed, not looking up from the keyboard. “He’s gonna make promises he can’t keep and dates he won’t show up to. And when he cancels on you for the millionth time after he promised he wouldn’t because he off fighting crime, it’s gonna break your heart. Being second place to this job will break your heart.” He looked at you blankly. “Don’t believe me? Ask your mom.”

“Dad, you and I both know there is no boy in this world I could date who wouldn’t break my heart. It’s what boys do. It’s their thing.” You claimed. “And yeah, I’m not looking forward to it, but it’s a part of life. It’s how you grow. Wouldn’t you rather I get my heart broken by a boy I love that I can learn to forgive over some random jerk?”

“Honey, this world is gonna break your heart in a million different ways, ways that have nothing to do with boys, ways I can’t protect you from. But this, him, this I can protect you from. I’m sorry, but my answer is no.” He put the keyboard down and walked over to you, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. You felt the tears finally falling down your cheeks.

“But I love him.” You said weakly. Tony smiled sadly.

“So do I. But I know him. I was him. And who I I used to be is not good enough for my daughter.” He said softly.

“Then who is?” You asked bitterly, pushing his hand off your shoulder.

“What about Thor? I’m pretty sure he’s indestructible. Or Captain Marvel. I hear she’s available.” It was Tony’s turn time try and lighten the mood.

“She’s dating Valkyrie and I don’t want to be with Thor. I only ever want to be with Peter.” You said stubbornly. Your dad sighed and sat on top of a lab table.

“I thought that exact thing about dozens of different girls, girls whose names I don’t even remember, before I met your mother. Trust me, Y/n, me not allowing you to date him is what’s making him appealing to you. It’s the whole “teenage rebellion” thing. You are my teenager, and you are rebelling. If I laid back and gave you two the green light, you’d be bored with each other in a month. The sneaking around and “forbidden” romance is what’s keeping you together. If there were no obstacles in your way, you wouldn’t even look his way. I guarantee it.” He insisted but you didn’t believe it.

“You’re wrong.” You stated. “You’re wrong about all of this.”

“Actually, he’s wrong. He’s wrong for you. There is nothing I can say that will make you believe I’m right, and I know that. But honey, I am. You’re gonna thank me for this one day.” Tony said as he picked up his keyboard again.

“And what did I do until then?” You sniffled.

“Find someone else. Or even better, find no one. You don’t need boys. Boys disappoint. And I say that as a boy who has frequently disappointed.” Tony looked at you and shrugged.

“So you want me to be lonely for the rest of my life?” You snapped.

“I want you to be safe.” He put his hands on your shoulders, all playfulness in his voice gone. “And happy. Dating a superhero will make both of those things impossible. It took me nearly dying to realize that. And when I did, I destroyed my suits and started spending time with my wife and daughter. And that’s why People Magazine named me “Sexiest Man Alive.” He held up the magazine with his smiling face on it. “Look at that. Is that Captain America? Oh! Look at that. It’s me. And you see what it says right there? What my secret to a happy life is? Knowing when to walk away.” He pointed to the quote on the cover. “That’s what you need to do, honey. I know you love Peter, but you need to walk away.”

“And if I can’t?” You whispered.

“He will.” Tony said.

“He wouldn’t.” You answered.

“I’d make him.” Tony retorted. You put your face in your hands and felt your shoulders shake.

“Daddy, please!” You begged.

Tony’s eyes softened at your words. He knew only called him “daddy” when you were scared. He thought back to the last time you used that word.

“I don’t know what’s happening, dad. I think somethings wrong with me. My body feels fuzzy.” You said over the intercom. Tony touched a hand to his earpiece, knowing you couldn’t feel it but praying you could.

“Hang on, honey. It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here.” He tried to keep his voice steady as he spoke to his dying daughter.

“I’m scared, dad. Please come home.” Your voice wavered.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I’m on another planet right now. Just hang on. Don’t go anywhere.” He tried to keep you as long as possible.

“My hands…my hands are- daddy whats going on?” You asked him.

“I don’t know, baby girl. I wish I could tell you.” He said in defeat.

“I’m scared, daddy.” You sniffled as you faded away into dust.

“I’m so sorry, but this is for the best.” Tony snapped out of his daze. “He’s wrong for you. You’ll see it one day.”

“You better hope I do.” You stated before you stormed out of the lab. You stomped loudly on the way to your room and slammed the door as hard as you could so your dad would hear. You wiped the tears off your face and tried to compose yourself.

“FRIDAY, call Peter.” You said out loud.

“I’m sorry, I cannot call Peter.” FRIDAY responded.

“Why not?” You asked, slightly annoyed.

“The Baby Monitor Protocol won’t allow me to.” FRIDAY replied and you took a step back.

“The what?” You asked. “Then how am I supposed to tell him to come over?”

“Peter Parker is banned from the Avengers Compound for the weekend.” FRIDAY announced and you felt your fingers clench into a fist.

“Why?” You snapped.

“The West Side Story Protocol.”

“When did my dad have time to set up these protocols?” You wondered in frustration.

“Mr. Stark programmed them while you were talking with him in his lab.” FRIDAY informed you.

“Then I’m going to his house.” You picked you your backpack and headed to your door.

“Sorry, boss. You’re not allowed to leave the compound for the weekend. It’s called the Rapunzel Protocol.” FRIDAY said.

“Of course it is.” You huffed and set your bag down. “He’s literally locking me in a tower. What does he expect me to do all weekend if I can’t see Peter? We used to hang out every day even when we weren’t dating.“

“You have training with Bucky in five minutes to keep you occupied.” FRIDAY said as she projected a schedule on your wall.

“Then I’ll go after that.” You said.

“Then you have dinner with the team.”

“And after that?” You sensed a pattern.

“Something called “Stark Family Game Night”.”

“No way. Stark Family Game Night is co-word for the Avengers trying to lift Thor’s hammer while Thor laughs and eats banana bread. I’m not doing that again. Someone always ends up crying.” You put your foot down.

“Your father insists he wasn’t cry-“

“He was!” You snapped before flopping on your bed and letting out a groan. “This is so unfair. I finally fall in love and my dad has to ruin it. Peter and I are Avengers. He can’t keep us apart forever.”

“He can.” FRIDAY said.

“Why do you say that?” You sat up in bed and heard a small tap at your window.

“The Romeo and Juliet Protocol.”

“What does that entail?” You asked, slightly distracted by the tapping.

“That you’re kept apart on missions, never scheduled to train at the same time, never seated near each other, and I have to send an alert your father if you and Peter are alone in a room together.” FRIDAY responded.

“So that’s it? I can never be with Peter again?” You laughed bitterly, jumping slightly when another tap hit your window.

“I’m sorry, boss.” FRIDAY apologized.

“You call me boss, but I’m the one listening to you. That doesn’t seem very- God what is that tapping?” You couldn’t take the noise anymore and went over to your window to investigate. You opened your balcony doors and heard a crunch under your feet. You moved your foot and saw a small pile of pebbles on the ground. Suddenly, another small pebble flew past your head and hit your window. You looked up and saw Peter perched on the rooftop of the building across from you. He saw you on the balcony and sighed happily.

“Oh, thank God you heard the pebbles. I was about to throw a rock.” He whispered loud enough for you to hear.

“Were you throwing pebbles at my window?” You smiled shyly at the outdated romantic gesture. You never thought you’d live to see the day a boy threw rocks at your window to get your attention.

“I had to get your attention somehow.” Peter said. “Karen told me about all the protocols your dad set up. An alarm is gonna go off if I come within fifteen feet of the Avengers compound.”

“How far are you?” You asked.

“Sixteen feet.” He shrugged with a cocky smirk.

“Clever boy.” You laughed, finally smiling again after the day you’d had. “That’s why you’re my boyfriend.”

“I still am? Your father didn’t talk you out of it?” Peter asked timidly.

“Nothing could talk me out of it.” You promised, and Peter smiled fondly. “How am I supposed to get out of here though? Or are we just gonna say “parting is such sweet sorrow” and call it a night?”

“I think you’re forgetting who your boyfriend is.” Peter held up his wrist for you to see. You couldn’t even roll your eyes all the way before he shot a web and you and pulled you over to where he was. You landed in his arms and he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips upon impact.

“See? Nothing can keep us apart. Not even a silly protocol.” He assured you as he moved some hair off your forehead.

“There are actually multiple silly protocols. Four and counting.” You sighed and watched curiously as Peters face fell. His eyes darkened before he dropped his gaze to the floor.

“Oh.” He said quietly and loosened his grip on your waist.

“What’s wrong?” You asked at his sudden indifference.

“He really doesn’t want us to be together.” Peter said sadly and he looked up at you. You put your hands on his face but he looked away again.

“Who cares? It’s not his decision.” You tried to comfort Peter.

“What did he say about me?” Peter asked as he brought his hands up to your wrists and rubbed his thumb against them.

“This has nothing to do with you. He loves you. This is entirely because you’re a superhero.” You assured him. Peter cracked a smile and that and seemed to accept that you were telling the truth.

“I know him. He said something.” He insisted. You sighed, knowing you had no way around telling Peter the truth.

“He said you were bad news.” You admitted.

“Bad news, huh? I kinda like it.” Peter smirked. “Anything else?”

“He said you were wrong for me.” You added and Peter laughed.

“He says that I’m wrong for you?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You smiled at his improved mood.

“And here I was thinking he was a genius.” Peter kicked a rock off the roof and chuckled. “He’s all turned around. We’re meant to be.”

“I don’t know gotten into him.” You said as you took Peters hands. “He’s never forbidden me from doing anything before. I don’t know why this is so upsetting for him.”

“Was he angry?” Peter toyed with your fingers.

“Livid.” You replied.

“He’s really made up his mind about us, hasn’t he?” Peter asked, searching your eyes and hoping to receive a different answer than the one he knew he was going to get.

“Yeah.” You told him softly. To your surprise, Peter smiled and kissed the back of your hand.

“Then is this a bad time to tell you I’m in love with you?” He asked coyly, and your face lit up the New York City night sky.

“Not a bad time at all.” You said before throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him for all you were worth.

You told your dad you had broken up with Peter and reused to give him any details beyond that. You and Peter got used to the sneaking around over the next few weeks, trying to be even more discrete than before. He was allowed back at the tower but was never allowed to be alone with you. He had to wait to whisk you off your balcony after Tony thought he had left. All your nights were spent on the rooftop next to the tower with Peter before he had to go. The sneaking around was difficult, but it was romantic. Your 78 days became 100 and you and Peter had planned to celebrate on the rooftop. Just as you were getting yourself ready to see Peter, your dad knocked on your door.

“Hey, kid.” Tony said sheepishly as he entered your room. There had been an awkward rift between you and your dad since your fight. You chose to be icy towards him for what he had said that day, even if you were still seeing Peter. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye and continued brushing your hair.

“Hi dad.” You said flatly.

“You look nice. Hot date?” He joked and you glared at him.

“Funny.” You deadpanned.

“Sorry. Maybe that wasn’t the best joke to make.” He scuffed the floor with his shoes and walked further into your bedroom. “How you holding up?”

“I’m fine. Just lonely.” You guilted him as you touched up your lip gloss. You heard him sigh and he came to stand behind you, looking at you through your mirror.

“I know, honey. I came in here to tell you that I’m proud of you for staying away from Peter. I know you really cared about him and that this has been hard on you, but I promise it’s for the better. If I was in your situation, I never would’ve listened to my father. I’m really proud that I raised a daughter who knows better. I’m really glad you’re my protege.” He smiled at your reflections in the mirror. You were surprised with his kind words after you’d been so cold towards him. You gave him a soft smile through the mirror.

“Thanks, dad.” You said softly.

“It may seem like it, but breaking up with Spiderling is not the end of the world. I’ve seen the end of the world, and it has nothing to do with teenage boys.” He joked, making the ice between the two of you return. He was under the impression that he had broken you up with the love of your life, yet he chose to make jokes. You shifted away from him, less than amused at his words. He noticed your indifference right away.

“Look, honey, I hate that I had to do this to you. Trust me, it hurts me too.” He said sincerely. “I love Peter and in any other world, I would’ve been proud for him to be dating my daughter. You might think breaking you guys up was cruel, but sometimes, you have to be. I know you’re hurting right now, but you staying away from Peter proved to me that you’re stronger and more capable than I thought. So, I got you a little something as an “I’m sorry I made you break up with your teenage boyfriend” gift. When you’re done sulking, check your dresser. You might find something you like.” He offered before he kissed your head and left your room. You stood in silence for a moment, contemplating your next move. Whatever he had gotten you, you didn’t deserve it. You hadn’t actually broken up with Peter.

You walked over to your dresser and found a large black jewelry box. You opened it up skeptically and found a ring inside with a pendant that looked that the arc reactor. You slid it onto your finger and a bright blue light shine from it. You picked up the card that was inside the box and recognized your fathers handwriting.

“For my hero. Press the center. -TS”

You pressed the center of the ring and your entire body was encapsulated in an iron suit. You looked in the mirror in disbelief. You finally had your own suit, something you’d been begging your father for for years. It resembled his, but was a deep violet, the same color as your bedroom walls, with honey colored accents.

His nickname for you.

You teared up at his sweet gesture before your face fell flat.

You didn’t deserve it.

He gave you the suit because you stayed away from Peter, but you hadn’t. You’d let your father down. A tap at your windowpane broke you out of your sadness. You looked out your window and saw Peter on the rooftop across the street, giving you a friendly wave. The butterflies you normally got in your tummy upon seeing Peter were replaced by a sick feeling in your gut. You gulped, knowing what was coming next. You flew over to where he was using your new suit, your heartbreaking at the joyful look on his face when he saw it.

“No way! Your dad finally gave you a suit?” Peter asked excitedly. “What made him change his mind?”

“He gave it to me for breaking up with you.” You said gravely and Peters smile faded. He wasn’t an expert on reading girls but he knew something was coming. He saw the dark clouds in your sky.

“Oh.” He said softly, gingerly touching your wrist in an attempt to make you rethink what you were about to say.

“Peter-“ You began.

“Please. Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t do it.” Peter begged as his eyes filled with tears. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“What if it hurts me?” You asked weakly. “He was so proud of me for staying away from you. You should’ve seen his face. If he finds out that we’re still together, it’s gonna break his heart.”

“He won’t find out. We’ll find a way around it. We can-“ Peter scrambled to come up with a plan.

“Peter.” You cut him off and his lip began to tremble. “You know my dad. Sooner or later, he’s gonna find out about us. He could take away your suit or ban you from the tower forever. Aren’t we better off staying friends when it guarantees you can stay on the team and talk to me? Is it really worth it to take our chances on him finding out when we’re risking you being removed from my life permanently?” You asked, praying he would understand and see things your way. The look on Peters devastated face told this wasn’t gonna be as easy as that. He wasn’t going down without a fight.

“This is worth it to me. This is worth everything to me.” Peter shouted as if you weren’t listening to him.

“You say that now, but if he catches us, I’ll never see you again.” You warned him as hot tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I’m willing to take that chance to be with you. You’re the love of my life.” Peter cried.

“And you’re mine.” You promised. “But we need to be adults about this. I can’t risk losing you forever. I have to love you enough to let you go.”

“You don’t have to let me go.” Peter said desperately.

“I do, Peter. I’m so sorry, but I do.” You whispered in a horse voice.

“Please.” He begged. “Don’t be cruel to me.”

“Sometimes”, you sniffled thought of your dad, “you have to be.”

“Not to me.” Peter shook his head. “Please, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You said quickly.

“Then why are you breaking me?” Peter cried.

“My fathers says-“ You tried.

“Forget what your father says!” Peter shouted and you quieted down.

“Peter, l wish I could but I can’t disrespect him like this.” You said gently. “I love you, but I love him too. He gave me this suit because breaking up with you made him finally believe I can be on the team. He trusted me to do the right thing and I let him down.”

“You’re choosing the suit over me.” Peter said bitterly.

“I’m choosing to be obedient.” You defended yourself.

“Obedience has never gotten anybody anywhere!” Peter yelled in distress. “Romeo and Juliet weren’t obedient!”

“And they ended up dead.” You yelled back. Your eyes softened when you watched him wipe away a tear. “These violent delights have violent ends, Peter.” You said softly.

“Come on, now. You know I didn’t read the book. You know I Sparknoted it. You know I don’t know what that means.” Peter said darkly.

“It means someones gonna get hurt. We can’t just do whatever we want and not expect consequences.” You told him. “My father has been through a lot. He nearly sacrificed himself to save the world, Peter. I can do this one thing for him, even if it kills me.”

“So this is it for us?” He asked in a small voice.

“It has to be.” Your voice wavered. He nodded and rubbed his eyes for a long time.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said without meeting your eyes.

“Are we still friends?” You asked timidly and Peter let out a painful laugh.

“I don’t know if I can be your friend.” He answered honestly.

“I’m sorry, Peter.” You reached for him but he pulled away. You didn’t try again. You knew not to.

“Yeah.” He nodded and put on his mask. “I’m sorry too.”

Tag List 🏷

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cinderelliee · 3 years

Text

My final character opinions before Chain of Iron...

Just finished my reread of Chain of Gold ahead of Tuesday’s release!!! I am posting my thoughts/opinions of the main cast so that after Chain of Iron I can see how or if my feelings change. Spoilers: most of my opinions are going to be that I don’t know enough about them lmao. I love the big cast of characters, but that unfortunately also means less time is spent on each one.

Disclaimer: I know that I love some characters that people hate and vice versa. My intention is not to start anything, but more to be more open about what I think about the characters. It’s okay to disagree and just because I say I don’t like a character, it does not mean I believe they are badly written...

Alastair Carstairs:

One of my favorites of the series, and possibly TSC as a whole (let’s see how the series goes first). I love him so much and I can’t wait to see how his story goes. I love that he keeps everyone at arms length and pushes everyone away, but he would also go to any length for the people he loves. I think he has a gift of being able to see people as they are, and notice things others don’t. Probably why he was the one, not Cordelia, who saw what was wrong with his father and kept it from his sister. I’m sure he used to look up to his father like Cordelia did, but instead suffered great disappointment when he learned the truth. And then when he went to the academy, finally having some time away from it, all he found was more disappointment. He did what he thought he had to to survive. And I think along the way he sort of lost himself.

I do think Alastair should make amends with the Merry Theives, but less for their sake and more for his own. I think his journey is more about finding and forgiving himself. There are other ways to live and survive than hurting anyone who gets too close to you. I think he started that journey in Chain of Gold when he dyed his hair back to black and broke up with Charles. But fixing yourself is easier said than done, it’s not one choice, but something that you strive for everyday. His journey actually reminds me a lot of Matthew’s; they have a lot in common and I think their paths will parallel each other’s. I also think Thomas will be a catalyst for Alastair’s growth, as well as a helping hand.

I can’t wait to see his dynamic with the characters this next book as he tries to return to his true self. It’ll be interesting to see how his relationship with Elias plays out too.

Anna Lightwood:

I really like Anna so far. I think she’s very unique and exciting. I love how dedicated she is to being true to herself, but at the same time cares deeply about her loved ones and shows it. Often times I feel like characters like her often act like they’re above showing affection towards their family, so I was pleasantly surprised when she wasn’t. This is probably because her parents love and support her, so she never had to scorn familial love.

Romantic love is a different thing. Now, my two pieces about her life style is: why don’t we all just have a good time. I know there’s some people who didn’t like that she called her many partners ‘conquests’ and that she had a little black book. But I didn’t really see that criticism until recently and I’m confused as to what people thought Anna was doing? Would they rather her not keep track and forget them all? It’s perfectly healthy to explore your sexuality as long as you aren’t harming yourself or others. I know Anna is seen as older, but she is still only 19 (I think? 20 at most right?). She’s still on her journey to figuring out who she is. She is a bit self-centered and definitely privileged (see her relationship with Ariadne), but if she didn’t have flaws there would be nowhere for her to grow from. I highly doubt Anna will be living her seductress lifestyle by the end of the series

Personally, I cannot wait to see how her relationship with Ariadne plays out. Hopefully Anna will have some healthy confrontation with how she reacted to her heartbreak and why. Anyway, Anna is definitely one of my favorites.

Ariadne Bridgestock:

She seems like an interesting character, and I like how she’s not afraid to go after what she wants. I’d like to know a little more about her past and motivations. I also think she’s in a really difficult situation with her family and who she is/wants to be. I think she made a really understandable choice when she engaged Charles, and I support her journey in winning Anna back (I don’t not agree with the people who judged her for not backing off from Anna. She is fighting for who she loves and we are all fools in love). I think she has a lot of potential, but I can’t quite say that I like her yet since she’s probably the character we know the least about.

Charles Fairchild:

No opinion. I don’t love or hate him. No feelings whatsoever. The only thing I care about is the possible drama he will cause for Alastair and Thomas or the Clave as a whole lmao

Christopher Lightwood:

This boy is great! I have no complaints about him at all. He is precious. Honestly I’d just like to see more from him! His lines always make me chuckle. Also I’m not convinced that he would be able to create a antidote before the Silent Brothers would’ve been able to. But whatever, it’s just a story so who cares.

Cordelia Carstairs:

I just think she’s really neat. She is a fantastic protagonist and definitely on her way to becoming my favorite TSC lead, other than Tessa, obviously. I love her strength, kindness, relentless resilience, and how headstrong she is. I think it’s hilarious how straightforward she is. There’s so many scenes where she just says exactly what she’s thinking and just surprises everyone around her because they underestimated her or never expected her to so forcefully share her opinions. I adore her relationships with everyone. Her and Lucie are adorable. Her relationship with Alastair is so sweet and watching them rebuild their relationship was one of my favorite parts of the book, and definitely something I’m looking forward to. Matthew and Cordelia’s relationship is one of my favorites from the book; I love how they challenge and surprise each other (I think they could learn a lot from each other). Her interactions with the Merry Theives in general are perfect.

One thing I will say is there just wasn’t enough of her. I was very surprised when I read it that James and her were basically co-protagonists. I didn’t expect James to have such a prominent role, usually the split between the girl and boy lead is 60/40 at most, but this felt more like a 50/50 split. I just would’ve prefered more from Cordelia I guess, but that’s just me.

Grace Blackthorn:

So at first I was neutral towards Grace. I didn’t care about her at all, but after I came online and saw how many people hated her and acted like her was a villain, I started liking her more. She obviously is a victim of her mother’s manipulation and she doesn’t want to do what she’s doing to James. It’s clear to me that she is doing what she can to survive and to help her brother, the only person she truly cares about. Since she is also one of the few characters that it’s unclear where her story is going to end up, I am curious to see how her story goes.

I know there’s some people who just wanted her to be a villain, and I totally get that. But I feel like if she was, we would get a less complex character. Cassie’s villains, with the exception of Jonathan perhaps, tend to be one dimensional (which is fine because that’s not the reason I read her books anyways!). I also don’t really think she needs much of a redemption arc because she’s just trying to survive.

James Herondale:

This is where I’m going to get a little unpopular. I don’t love James, BUT I don’t hate him either. I am just not interested in where his story goes at all. I think I get what Cassie’s goal was with his character. He doesn’t have Will and Jace’s dark past and he’s not a morally grey bad boy like Julian. James is caring and sweet and noble and has a good family and I can totally see why people like him. For me, he still fills the same exact role that I’ve seen, not just from Cassie, but other YA books as well, and I’m just tired of it. His motivations are doing whatever he can to protect his loved ones and doing things because they are the right thing to do. He is willing to lay down his life for the greater good. I just can’t see anything about him that feels new. The only times I’ve felt anything towards him is when Jem, Cordelia, or Matthew were making me feel something for him.

It could be because I don’t really care for Cassie’s plots and his arc is so heavily involved with all the Prince of Hell stuff. And the bracelet just pisses me off in a bad way. The solution to it is so simple that it just frustrates me, but does not intrigue me at all. I will say I like him better with the bracelet off so I’m hoping in stays off this next book so I can enjoy his POV a little more. I really want to like him, but I just don’t connect with him at all. I wish Cassie had come up with something other than the bracelet as well.

Jesse Blackthorn:

Imma be honest: at the moment I don’t really care about Jesse either. I don’t know enough about him. But it seems like we’re gonna get more from him this next book so I’m reserving my judgement until then. In Chain of Gold I noticed most of his scenes were pretty expository or he was passing along information, but we never really got to know much about him. Hopefully I will like him in Chain of Iron though!

Lucie Herondale:

I really like Lucie so far! My favorite part about her is that she is so practical, but also able to loose herself in whimsical fantasies. She is totally 100% Tessa and Will’s child!! I don’t have much to say other than I love what I’ve gotten from her so far, but I just need a little bit more to connect with her. I’m hoping Chain of Iron really explores her darker side and her motivations. I kinda have a feeling this next book will either make or break my opinion of her.

Matthew Fairchild:

Anyone who has been following me for a while now could probably guess that Matthew is my favorite from TLH. I don’t know what it says about me, but I relate to him on a personal level. Although I haven’t made the same mistakes he has, (thank heavens for that!) I do know how he feels. I do know what it’s like to have something happen, that’s completely your fault, and have it change your life into something completely different than you thought it would be. I have made a lot of posts about him so if you want more in depth details, they are on my blog.

I’m just going to say that, very similar to Alastair, I think that Matthew has a lot of amends to make, to everyone in his life. And his journey is what I look forward to the most. He’s made a lot of mistakes, huge ones, and I know it’ll probably get worse before it gets better. But I hope his story isn’t going to be as sad as everyone believes, (I don’t think it will be, since a vast majority of Cassie’s characters eventually get happen endings) it just means a lot to me that his character doesn’t end up a tragedy. Like I said before his relationship with Cordelia is something I am really looking forward to. And his relationship with his family as well.

I love him your honor. *if I loved him less I may have been able to talk about him more*

Thomas Lightwood:

I really like Thomas!!! I favorite thing about him is that he can so easily see the beautiful and worth in everyone and everything (which makes him perfect for Alastair!). I love how gentle and kind he is. So far what I have seen from him has been so great. And how he was able to carrying on despite his sister’s death and then Christopher’s illness was really admirable. But I’m going to say for him as I’ve said for most: I want to see more from him!!! I have faith that his and Alastair’s relationship with be the best part of the book, so I have high hopes!

Okay!!! I think that’s everyone!! Let me know what you think?? Do you agree or disagree! I would love to get into some discussions with people to pass the time until the release!! If anyone wants to make their own post, please tag me!! I’d love to see!!! Do you think I have enough ‘!!!!!!!!!’?

#Anna Lightwood #ariadne bridgestock #Charles fairchild #Matthew Fairchild #cordelia carstairs #alastair carstairs #James herondale #Christopher Lightwood #Thomas Lightwood #Grace blackthorn #Jesse blackthorn #Lucie Herondale #chain of gold #chain of iron #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #cassandra clare

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