#which hurts me to even think

[the-crimson]

I honestly think the qsmp needs to get itself a team of beta testers for big events like this. The concept of this event is great! The execution is… flawed. Very flawed.

(Small rant from a game design major as the purgatory event has been causing my literal psychic damage)

The map is too big and there are no means of efficient transportation. More than half of everyone’s streams are spent traveling alone across the same terrain over and over and over again. A majority of bbh’s stream today was him walking around just trying to reach places. It takes 30 minutes to reach the center for contract quests. It takes 30 minutes to reach red or green’s base. It takes 30 minutes going home from any of these locations. A single trip to the center and back takes an hour.

Beds don’t reset your spawn. When you die - which happens quite often on a PVP server especially when the mobs are buffed - it’s extremely boring and irritating having to farm water bottles and food so you don’t die on your 30 minute walk across the map just to collect your gear. (Not to mention blue teams spawn is a literal death trap hell scape and it take 5+ minutes just to reach their base)

Limited time to play. The five hour limit is horrible especially when everyone is spending so much time traveling. If they had an efficient method of transportation this wouldn’t be so much of an issue. It’s a massive restriction for players who live the grind and this could have been accounted for in team balancing - making sure every team has an equal amount of grinders.

The rules on how to score points are vague and keep changing. This is something that should have been figured out through beta testing. That is literally what beta testing is for. Tomorrow will be day 4 out of fourteen - almost a quarter through the event - and the admins are probably gonna make even more tweaks to the rules. I appreciate that they are trying to make this work and are listening to cc feedback but they should have figured out all of the balancing issues before the event began. Constantly changing the rules and trying to balance it on the fly erases the legitimacy of the competition itself. No one can come up with consistent strategies and wins with previous rules feel cheap especially if they were cheesed wins. Additionally the scoring needs to be clearly explained so the ccs know how to strategize properly to actually play the game otherwise they are playing chess when they thought they were playing checkers.

Idk if the qsmp has a team of beta testers but if they do, then they need to expand the team or give the testers more time to work out the kinks for these events. It’s clearly frustrating for the audience and the ccs. I know the admins are doing their best with what they have - which is why they need something more. Either someone experienced with game design or a (better) beta testing team.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #a lot of the admins choices over the last month or two have left me very confused #they are doing a great job #but some of their choices make me wonder if they actually know what they are doing #which hurts me to even think #because I love the qsmp so much #game design is one of my passions so I always have strong feelings about this stuff

[beatcroc]

there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #arting #pizzaposting #so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that #and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it #not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow. #he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT! #since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine #he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)' #so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you' #and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to #who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower #making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to.... #it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative. #thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino #i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now #nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact #he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that #and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine #is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf #gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man. #anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo #pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here #''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy. #gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything. #if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''

[lotus-pear]

akai art for beloved tumblr mutual @itotypes <33 (it's a bsd x atla au btw if anyone wants to check it out.. although i wouldn't recommend it for the weak hearted)

fic name: akai || author: @/itotypes on ao3

#literally did this from character descriptions in the fic i couldn't find a reference itoooo im so sry 😭😭 #rly hope i remembered the bottom scene correctly?? i think chuuya was wearing dazais clothes bc he didnt want earth nation attire💀 #anyway that scene was so hot i was biting back screams the entire time #ALSO I FOUND OUT I CANT DRAW FRECKLES.. WHY IS IT SO HARD #speaking of which dazai looks so cute w freckles and a tan and black hair im investing hes so so cute in this au😭 #i don't even read fics so i was very mentally unprepared for the ending.. ito could've shot me it would've hurt less #anyway forcing all my mutuals to go read akai rn. it's required #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long) #The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid) #(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it) #But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid) #I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

[caluette]

the truth

#blue lock #blue lock fanart #alexis ness #ブルーロック #art #fanart #blue lock manga #my art #michael kaiser #in spirit #i think about scenarios where ness leaves kaiser #whether just to pass to isagi or for good #and i believe this is the key to kaiser's awakening #given that his “identity”/ego first appeared not out of malice but out of the desperation to protect the one thing he cared about (the ball #and of course his monologue in 260 about how he treats the ball explicitly parallels how he treats ness #which makes me believe losing ness or the risk of losing ness is instrumental in kaiser's reawakening #BUT. #kaiser is a deeply sad angry person and he cannot let the world know he's weak #so i fear that ness leaves him and instead of admitting oh maybe i do care kaiser snaps #because ness can't leave him if he pushes ness away harder right? #kaiser telling ness exactly what he was to him #exactly why he approached him in the first place #you're nothing but a dog #an experiment #because fury covers up the hurt (hurt that kaiser is even angrier that he *has*) and so the damage is done #so that's what this doodle is based on el oh el #and ness is left reevaluating every moment they've ever shared and wondering if it was real at all #(because even if kaiser did care he doesn't have the capacity to realize he did-- i do believe his behavior in 243 was genuine and proof he #-cares for ness in the only way he can he just does not understand that yet because he fundamentally does not understand kindness) #and he won't before it's almost too late

[blueskittlesart]

nintendo hire me i have tons of marketable skills like uhh *checks notes* drawing your characters wrong

#honest to god i drew this link thinking like 'there's no way this is gonna be that bad right' and then i pulled up his model. god #babygirl you are everything to me but why the fuck are your eyes like that. ugly hot king #also fully forgot that i never actually use the eyedropper for his hair bc i think it looks better w a redder tone #OR HIS EYES LMAOOO i always just use the champion's tunic blue even tho they are very much 2 different colors #zelda is a liiiiitle closer i think but i had to draw skinny zelda for this which hurt me a little bit #it is interesting to think abt the features i subconsciously choose to emphasize tho bc like. in my mind her hair clips ARE that big #but theyre rlly. actually not that big an element of her design LMAO #same w link's ponytail. logically i know it doesnt actually stick out like that but i desperately need to know its there at all times #also why the fuck are their model noses so small. i just noticed that. anime has done irreparable damage to the state of noses in art #anyway. #skribbles

[gale-force-storm]

I'm really just Feeling Things tonight about the conversation with Gale after Elminster's visit and like. Gale is So Insistent that if Mystra says he needs to blow himself up, then it must be the best option. The only option. And of course he is! Because what's the alternative? If there's another way, any other way, that means either

1. Mystra doesn't care enough to consider whether there might be another option. Gale blowing himself up is the easiest solution, so that's what she goes with. Or, even worse,

2. She does know there's other options, but tells him to sacrifice himself anyways, because it gets rid of two of her problems at once.

Gale doesn't just assume she's right because she's a goddess. He goes along with it because of what it implies about him, and her, and how she sees him if there is another way. He has to believe that this is the only option. Because the alternative? That he's disposable at best and actively unwanted at worst? That's just too much to bear.

#bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #meta #i'm sure this is nothing that hasn't been said before but like. goddamn i've just been thinking about it and it hurts my soul #and tbh i feel like the fact that everyone else in camp is like 'that's a stupid idea we're not doing that' really drives the point home #even elminster has that line about how 'even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will' #which is as close as you can reasonably expect him to get to outright agreeing that yeah this is shit and you should look for other options #but at that point gale is the one person who can't imagine that there's another way. can't stomach the thought #because it would mean some things he's really not ready to face yet #i'm like. banging my head against a wall the writing is So Good and it makes me So Sad

[tariah23]

This is such a harmful sentiment to push considering that you don’t necessarily have to be “attractive,” (beauty is subjective, yada yada) in order for men to want to harm you in the slightest… like man, what…

#the lady talks about being followed and harassed and so on as if every woman and girl in the world regardless of their age and #‘good looks’ #hasn’t experienced this and will continue to #I hate when these girls especially ones who are conveniently attractive talk about stuff like this under the guise of speaking for all #women while x-ing out most women #this easily leads into the realm of ‘you’re too ugly/fat to be assaulted ANYWAY-‘ #talk that I see spread by misogynists and bird brained women like it’s such a natural thing to even say it’s actually rly scary #especially when it comes to the assault shit which is usually about power and control anyway #they don’t care what you look like #you could be covered up head to toe and someone would try to hurt you just because #I hate when women like this go online thinking that they said something open their mouths I really do #rambling #tw assault #got dudes in the comments going ‘she’s not even pretty anyway she’s like a 4 out of 10’ #completely missing the message (as if they care) and see #these are the kinds of people that stuff like this attracts #stuff like this coming out of a woman’s mouth especially is so dangerous #I don’t think I’m the most good looking person in the world and I’ve been followed sm times I had to run away from a guy once and luckily #my bus was right fucking there!!! #then the guy who was harassing me years ago at a bus stop and forced me to hug him and touched my butt and no one else was around to help #me… #and he kept on trying to get me to go back to his apartment around the corner like that was so #the man who followed me into the store as I was shopping and I noticed that he kept on staring at me #then tried to holla and he looked way older than me and I think he was a pastor or something too he had a nice car and tried to get me to #come with him #sm more incidents over the years like this is crazy pls don’t say stuff like this and act like it’s normal #someone in the comments said that people like the woman in the video think that being pretty will free them from the patriarchy and like… #YEAH 😭 #it’s so obvious too lmfao #these be the same women calling themselves ‘girls girls’’

[riverrunscold]

Since we're sharing youtube comments, I wanted to share this underrated one

#watcher #watcher entertainment #disappointed but not completely surprised #i haven't watched them in a hot minute and i think this situation made me realize why #all the content is too perfect now. maybe even slightly too long. i say this as someone who loves long videos #i watch retrospectives on shows ive never seen or actively dislike and love every moment of it #but sitting with the silenced of ghost files is just boring now. which i hate to say but it is #there hasn't been any really funny bits in a while either. and the jokes that they do on the set feel not super authentic #that's just me though #im worried they made a bad business decision and it's gonna hurt them. and the situation isn't super serious so i enjoy laughing about it #i really think i was into watcher for a hot minute but sometimes it feels like im slogging through a video just to get a glimmer of #what i used to love #which is super depressing xD

[aroaceleovaldez]

i hope this doesn't sound like a silly or weird thing to send you, but i'm autistic and have long thought of nico and a handful of other riordanverse characters as autistic and i love your posts about why nico in particular seems intentionally autistic-coded. but i've been thinking, if rick did intend for any of his characters to be autistic, why wouldn't he say so outside of the text at least? i can't think of a good reason why not, when he goes out of his way to be explicit about so many other characters' various marginalized identities and has confirmed things like reyna being asexual outside of the original text. so it gives me this nagging sort of doubt that maybe rick just made nico come off as so extremely autistic coded by accident, somehow. if it wasn't an accident i do kind of wish he'd say so because there's next to zero explicitly stated autistic representation in, like, any media so it'd be nice to have here even if not strictly necessary. either way though, like i said, i love your posts and i agree with you 100% about autistic nico! some others i like to think are autistic are annabeth and leo.

(Most of this is gonna be kind of a tangential ramble to your point and i apologize in advance just bear with me)

This actually touches upon something I've been meaning to do a write-up on recently, which is: depending on the coding, that is our explicit statement. In most coding, actually, that's kind of the point. (Also something something Death of the Author.)

You may have noticed a recent trend across media of characters saying things directly rather than expressing them in a natural way, and often this includes incredibly stilted dialogue of characters explaining things in very politically correct, wikipedia-esque descriptions and terminology that make absolutely no sense for the characters' personalities or mannerisms. This is born out of the idea that if something is not stated in explicit terms, no amount of evidence below an outright direct exact statement will ever count - if two characters of the same gender have an explicit kiss and wedding on-screen, it doesn't matter because they never said the word "gay," etc etc.

In PJO, prior to more recent books, we get plenty of examples of characters explaining parts of their identities without direct statements. Percy never needs to say in outright terms that he has PTSD from Gabe - and it doesn't make sense that he would! He's 12! He's never been diagnosed for that. He probably doesn't even know what PTSD is really. But we, the audience, know without a doubt he has PTSD, because it is clearly expressed to us. That is coding. Tyson is coded as having down syndrome. Nico is coded as being autistic. It doesn't make sense for Nico to turn to the camera and explain that he's autistic and what that means, because he definitely never got diagnosed for it and probably doesn't know what that means cause the diagnosis literally did not exist when he was growing up - and heck, autism terminology was still kind of getting sorted out back in 2007 when TTC was published, so it's unlikely we could have feasibly gotten any exact terminology wink-wink-nudge-nudges short of something like how Percy outright mentions other students called Tyson the r-slur in Sea of Monsters. And in fact we see that same exact style of coding with Nico later on in the series. Nico never turns to the camera and says word-for-word "I am gay, I am mlm, here's me wearing my exact pride flags" (until TOA/TSATS, which... did the exact thing i mentioned about characters speaking like theyre trying to get a good grade in therapy, or giving a powerpoint presentation). But it is never unclear that HoO is telling us outright that Nico is gay. It's not just hinted at. It's there, in your face. But entirely because no one ever outright says "gay" specifically it's technically still only coding. We know he's gay, we know the characters have trauma/ptsd, etc etc. We don't need it spelled out - that's just kind of condescending. It's like if you said describing a character with "eyes like moss" means they were "green-eye coded."

Nico being autistic-coded isn't hidden. It's not a secret. It's very overt. If you know what autism looks like, well, yeah, there he is. Even if you only know very vague 2007 media presentation of autism, Nico in TTC is easily recognizable enough as autistic because that's the point. Tyson is easily recognizable as being coded as having down syndrome and it's very clearly very intentional! It's just never spoon-fed in exact terms to the reader because it's not necessary! You've already been told the information necessary to tell you what is up with this character, so just plainly going "oh they're [x] in exact terms" is very much telling-not-showing and feels redundant. And while there are places for that kind of thing, most of the time it's very unnecessary. Sometimes coding is subtle, sometimes it's obvious, and yeah there are times where writers code characters unintentionally, but the textual evidence is there, and that's the whole point.

And that's what Death of the Author is about - it doesn't matter what the author intended at the end of the day, because if it's in the text it's in the text. You can look at author intent to try and figure out what that text means, but the text is the text. A Separate Peace is a very classic example - author John Knowles denies there being homosexual subtext, and meanwhile one of the protagonists living in 1942 puts on a pink shirt while saying he doesn't mind of people think of him as gay. What the author says after the fact doesn't matter - if it's there, it's there. So Rick saying anything outside of the books is completely irrelevant. And Rick talks about this a lot - he actively tells people that his statements outside of the books are just his own thoughts, but what's in the books is what's in the books, and if the text supports it then that's all the evidence you need.

Nico specifically is a case where yeah, he's clearly autistic-coded. It's very obvious and very obviously intentional when he's younger, and as the books progress it remains a background trait of his but is still notable (except for when it gets forgotten in TOA/TSATS like everything else, including the adhd/dyslexia, but i digress). It's a clear pattern within the first few books that Rick is intentionally including. It doesn't make sense, especially for the year the book was published, for the reader to be directly told in explicit terminology that Nico is autistic, because the reader is already being told that Nico is autistic.

And yeah, Rick doesn't mention Nico being autistic-coded outside of the text, but he also doesn't mention Tyson being coded as having down syndrome. He also said one time that Percy doesn't have PTSD at all, which is very incorrect starting from book 1. Again, Death of the Author. Whatever Rick says outside of the books does not matter, because he already said it in the books. And there's plenty of other stuff in the books that Rick doesn't touch upon, particularly relating to character identity - did you know Leo is Native? Sammy mentions that the Valdez family is Native in Son of Neptune but we don't get any specifics and then it's like never brought up again anywhere. That happens all the time in the series - and outside of the series - Rick can't possibly address every single point to confirm/deny everything from the books. That's what analysis is for! And that's why my blog exists 👍

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #autistic nico #analysis #ask #Anonymous #long post // #tone indicator just to be sure cause i know i used a lot of italics: this is all non-agressive/not mad i prommy #im just very passionate about this topic (coding & fandom concepts surrounding ''canon'' + death of the author) #also controversial opinion cause i know some people have talked about wanting the use of the r-slur in SoM censored #but i think it should stay because. well. yeah no that was still very commonly used in 2006 #trust me i heard it a lot. i was there. in fact it was commonly used after that point. for awhile. #it wasnt until like a bit into the 2010s iirc that campaigns started to go ''hey maybe. dont use that word.'' #like that was RECENT #and yeah! these books are not old! TLT is only just coming up on 20 years. thats not super old for a book! #and yeah! that term was considered a-okay terminology to be used in a middle grade book in 2006! which is startling to think now! #but that's also why it's important to not erase that #because otherwise you forget that up until very recently that word was considered Perfectly Acceptable #and in SoM it's even specifically acknowledged to be used in a hurtful way! Percy is actively condemning it! #like. dont put it in the show or whatever. obviously. replace it with a different indication/coding to explain Tyson's struggles #not that i think Disney would put the r-slur in their show. but like. dont erase it from the book??? from 2006?????? #i am frightened to see how the show will handle tyson though. its not gonna go well i can feel it in my bones #anyways man i should post that excerpt from A Separate Peace though #just cause that scene has lived in my brain rent-free for years

[tarisilmarwen]

"Thrawn only joined the Empire to help the Chiss!"

Okay sure but have any of you bothered to self-examine why Thrawn chose to join the Empire instead of, say, the Republic, when that was still around? Or why he didn't chose to throw in with the Rebellion, put his tactical mind to use helping them overthrow the Empire quicker?

Could it be... perhaps... that maybe he values the Empire's military strength... more than he cares about the authoritarian tyranny with which it oppresses its own people?

Is it possible that he thinks the Empire's main problem is that it isn't effective enough, too much politicking getting in the way of sound strategy, but if he's around (and in charge) he can guide things so that those annoying little wrinkles (AKA the pockets of discontent and rebellion and fully justified anger at their rights and freedoms being trampled on) are all smoothed out and the overall Imperial machine is better, more in control of its assets, a stronger more unified bulwark against the outergalactic threat of the Grysk or the Vong or whatever.

Is it perhaps just a bit self-centered of him to only care about the Empire's ability to service his own goals and desires and be apathetic (at best) to the way it makes people suffer daily under its inherent systems? The Twi'leks and Wookies being constantly kidnapped and sold into slavery? The careless industrialization of arboreal worlds? The socialization and absorption of all private industry, forcing everyone to work through and with the Empire if they want to work at all? The systematic persecution of anyone remotely Force Sensitive? Is it not the mark of some kind of soul rot to be aware of all of that and go, "Yeah, but I don't care, they have the bigger guns, which is what I need."?

Maybe... just maybe... Thrawn has some Machiavellian tendencies and opinions and maybe this just might... make him not entirely a good person?

And maybe y'all should think about that before you come back and whine about his portrayal as a villain, as if all he has to do is explain to people that he did everything for a good reason and he gets an automatic narrative pardon for all of the shit he did while Grand Admiral that still needs to be addressed and answered for.

#yeah another thrawn rant has been brewing for a while #listen it's not that i don't want thrawn to have depths and pathos and dimensions to his character #what i'm saying is that NONE OF THAT MATTERS ONCE HE JOINED THE EMPIRE #because he sure as hell didn't work to subvert the empire at all even knowing the kinds of things they do #so no i'm sorry there is no clean 'i had good intentions' moment #where everyone just arbitrarily accepts his Sad Backstory and declares everything okay #him doing everything he did 'for his people' does not mean the people he DID hurt don't get to demand and expect justice #what annoys me is not that thrawn has complex motivations #it's that fandom seems to think the motivations cancel out the MEANS and METHODS #which is why in all their stories thrawn gets to just go home and have a happily ever after with eli vanto or whoever #that is not what is going to or what should happen in canon guys #not fandom tagging this if you see it it's your own dang fault for being out in the wilds of the untamed tumblr search #dunking on the blue bastard #star wars #star wars rebels

[roitaminnah]

tfw for some reason you find an immense amount of comfort in simply being near someone

#butterfly soup #butterfly soup 2 #ppkm #roi draws #ppkmweek2023 #um I just think they're neat. I didn't want to do too hurt comfort because I honestly can't top the piece I did about a year ago #(I'll find it and reblog it) #but erm. idk. do you ever think of how in noelle's chapter she's like. will I cry when my mom dies? and then the juxtaposition of her - #breaking down to tears over akarsha once she gets back home at the slightest indication of her not being okay. ummmmm (weeps violently) #anyways. I think even outside of their romantic relationship they are so important to each other which makes me weep #idk what I'm saying I'm just saying I care them okay #ouuuuhhhhg. ouuuuuughggghggg

[ntj2pj]

#madness combat #madcom oc #my oc #atp soldat #the soldat in the dark (tm) actually cares about his bro #a lot #but he just can't get sad when he warned him about this shit nonstop #no id #The bitten guy just acts too friendly because his program made him too altruistuc and kind #Which sometimes helps since he is one who recruits workers #Well #Probably it's more benefitial most of the time #But he gets in shit like “oh i just wanted to help civilian get out from dangerous location and they stabbed me :(((” #And he ain't bullied for it by anyone but his bro. He is too... Kinda. Uh. Hard to bully guy who is most safest option to talk with auditor #And not die lol. It also doesn't help that he is guy who knows all of the AAHW by names and will kick you hard for bullying anyone #So bullying him is a privilege of some atp soldats #not an option :D #Other soldat here is just walking anger issues and he got no friends other than his bro. Constantly lashes at anyone. The Bitten™ included #So they're got that dynamic of angry antisocial cynical guy and pessimist & optimistic kind dude (well #(well he got a lot of mental issues too #But doesn't show it and never let it hurt others.) #And he is much older than the pessimist :'D #Pessimist guy is very young actually. But just experienced shit nonstop from birthday and lost very much everyone he cared about #And the second one... just atp soldat with no past. never known any other thing than work in AAHW and orders. Easy to manipulate #He also gets “You're not a real person” a lot for it. And constanly offended by it. But it's a problem of all yellow bloods here #Especially him #since he litterally didn't had a life outside from aahw. Also don't think he wouldn't kick his friends hard for orders. #Kill even. He is a dog for orders first #Kind guy with good morals is only second

[mishapen-dear]

thinking about the elections tonight... bad, cellbit, baghera, and forever are four candidates who are devoted to the island- more specifically, to the residents of the island. They care for the eggs, and they care for each other, and the way they exhibit that care through their primary presidential strategies is fucking fascinating.

Bad is who I watch the most, so I know him best. He's a classic mother hen. He doesn't like to take risks with the eggs, and he likes to prepare. If there's any sort of variable that could hurt an egg then he wants to control it. They have a stable relationship with the federation right now- it's not great, but they know the parameters. Don't trust cucurucho. don't follow cucurucho. send the eggs to NINHO every time there's a threat. the time of day changing means you need to run. Other than that they're p okay and roughly safe. But adding a president could potentially change everything. What if the president makes a rule that makes it easier to kill the eggs? And what about the way a president could cause tensions between the players to rise even higher? The dynamics of the island could change drastically. It's safer to neutralize that threat before it ever becomes a threat. It's easier to stop a war before it can start.

Baghera's primary concern is the way the election is designed to pit the residents against each other. All of them know that the Federation is a threat and she, like Bad, is focused on not letting them hurt more people. But, unlike Bad, she's less resistant to change. If the power is spread to multiple players rather than just one, it will be harder for the Federation to corrupt any one of them. Each time before the Federation has gotten to someone it's done so by isolating them. Felps, Cellbit, Jaiden- they've all spent a lot of alone time with Cucurucho. A council isn't just to consolidate the ideals of the island; a council would protect the players themselves. Sure, there might be disagreements and arguments, but they've had those before (and they're having them now!) and there's no reason to think they wouldn't be able to get through them again.

I hit a bit of a wall with Forever and Cellbit's pov here. Everything I know about their plans are from the debates and paraphrased discussions that have been translated here on tumblr, I'm going to talk less about their explicit plan and more about what the result will entail- a single president who takes responsibility for the island. It seems to me like they've recognized the presidential seat as the powerful opportunity that it is, and they want to take advantage of it. Here's some extra personal speculation but, adding rules, adding or removing mods, proposing public works, enforcing laws- those are just the abilities that are listed. Those are incredible opportunities to make the Federation take action, which is more than they've had before. We've seen before that the Federation isn't perfect; the Federation makes mistakes.

By working with the Federation, by making them take action (in a semi-controlled, semi-predictable way) you open them up to more opportunities for them to fuck up (while benefiting you). And, maybe, one of those fuck ups will be the key to taking them down. Maybe they could reopen ender chests. Maybe they could open the nether. Maybe they could learn why the Federation is holding an election in the first place. It's possible to do all these things with Baghera's plan, sure, but that's not a guarantee and, if someone like Bad is on the council, there's absolutely no way to be sure it would get done. And, if there's a council, then that opens up everyone on the council to the Federation's wiles. If there's just one president, then that's where the Federation's focus will be. By using a single person to build a relationship with the Federation, they only risk that single person. By electing ministers instead of a council, they can ensure that the island residents' needs are being heard while placing the federation's focus on that one person. A point can be made that they've done that before- with varying results. like kidnapping. selling your soul. etc. But! overall, I think they've gained more than they've lost by singling out one person. Because of them, we know that Cucurucho can't be trusted. We know that the Federation has a series of tunnels underneath the island. We know that the Federation not only has some sort of cryo technology, but had some unknown reason to use it. We know that there was another person working with Cellbit to take care of Felps (theorized to be ElQuackity), so we know there's at least one more Fed that isn't Cucurucho + blank-faced workers. There's been risk, but there's absolutely been rewards. This is just a very long meandering way to say that their plan to sacrifice Forever to the presidential seat reminds me very much of Cellbit's plan to sacrifice himself to the federation. They're saving their friends by potentially damning themselves and I, for one, think that is cool as hell.

they all care about each other so much. bad's plan means taking on no more risk. baghera's plan means spreading that risk evenly to stand strong together. and cellbit and forever's plan means taking the risk onto themselves so they can reap the rewards for others. am i reading too much into things? no this is tumblr and this smp is about LOVE and i really genuinely think that their election plans are a fantastic example of just how much they love each other

#qsmp elections #qsmp #qsmp analysis #again i haven't been following cellbit and forever's exact plan too closely but i've gotten the sense that their pushing of public works is #just to get people to vote for them and the true reason they want forever to be president is to infiltrate the federation #if that's not it tho feel free to let me know i'd love to know these cubitos reasonings #but with my interpretation i like the silly little extra headcanon of mr cell “sold his soul to the cops” bit #subconsciously sacrificing forever to the feds and pushing him into corruption #which ALSO makes the forever-killing-cellbit-to-kick-him-out-of-the-running plan Even More Tasty #'what if i let you kill me. what if destroying me destroyed yourself. what if i have already destroyed you on purpose and you forgave me #now what if i dont mean it when i do it again' #if anyone wants to examine the other candidates (or these same ones) and figure out how their election strategy is an example of their love #please do #i don't know enoguh about the others #but i know that gegg is love-turned-grief burn-the-world-down #and foolish is love for Item. love for cloud. love for being a silly #i don't know etoiles' plan for if he gets elected but i know he also deeply loves the island and the residents #him and his security <3 and the care packages for new players <3 and the way he Craves Violence but absolutely refuses to hurt anyone who #doesn't deserve it. most guy of all time #personally i want foolish to win because i think it would be really fun #but i think that any of them (even the candidates i don't know) would be a Fantastic president #we're going to get some good roleplay any way it goes so ill be happy :3 #the only mechanic thing i want is for them to open the nether but that feels like a given for anyone so im not worried about it tbh #ty for coming to my tedtalk #hello if you're reading this tag. i see youre just as un-normal about these characters as i am. or you just like to read. respect either wa

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[good-beanswrites]

If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?

Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references. 

(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)

Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.

Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.

“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.

“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane. 

The girl just shook her head. 

She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”

“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.” 

“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...” 

With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her. 

“I can’t let you do that.”

Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.” 

Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”

“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”

Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”

“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”

“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”

“You just pity me because I’m young.”

“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”

The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.

“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”

A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.

“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”

“Of course.”

#milgram #amane momose #mahiru shiina #thank you so much! i dont want to be bubbly on such a serious drabble but i want to give an enthusiastic thanks because this one really got #the gears turning!! #i started making plans as soon as i saw the ask and it took so long finding something that wouldnt result in straight up tragedy :( #if i kept to the initial timeline and said kazui didnt step in until amanes attack then both fuuta and mahiru would be close to death #and given there seems to limited supplies i think one of them would have died if shidou needed to treat three critical patients #so i moved people around to make sure everyone survived #which brought me to the main problem of amane self sabotaging her medical care #even minor injuries could have resulted in death if she got her way and removed bandages/refused treatment #but the mental strain of keeping the treatment would be just as bad as the physical pain -- shed be paranoid 24/7 of #divine punishment and repeating the mistakes that led her here.... it would hurt more to be forced like that #so i needed someone to be able to get through to her gently #but the only one who shes been able to trust just got the shit beat out of him and is in no position to talk!!!! #everyone else would just make her more upset or not know how to convince her the right way :( #still - i think mahiru could do it the best! with her own trauma from allowing loved ones to die in front of her i think shed be motivated #so. yeah. #i know amane is supposed to be talking in the plural pronoun now but i couldnt get it to work - lets just say that kicks in soon after this #tw cults #tw child abuse #drabbles