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jodibodie · 3 years

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I Have Some Feelings

To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare. Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.

The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented. I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong. From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.

Tom Ellis, no words. The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.

Lauren German, WOW. She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork. She’s us and German just brings it.

DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”. He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.

I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her. She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.

Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time. He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.

Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP. She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more. Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.

Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her. Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.

Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible. She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch. Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show. She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.

That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all. I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything. I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense. I call bullshit. Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story. Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make. Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment. Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.

The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father? Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child. When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.

This show was built around a few premises. Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these. Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie? The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant. I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.

“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”

A 30 second scene would have worked.

As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.

Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst. Hell, this is my favorite show. I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.

“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you? Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”

Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.

Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say. Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.

To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved. Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings. Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.

#lucifer #season6 #spoilers #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season6 spoilers #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #trixie espinoza #rory morningstar #luciferseason6 #tom ellis #lauren german #db woodside #lesley-ann brandt #rachael harris #kevin alejandro #scarlett estevez #brianna hildebrand

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cathrrrine · 3 years

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The Devil's In The Details

Originally from my AO3

SPN X MCU - Steve Rogers x Winchester!Reader

Chapter 3 - Little Angel

The sound of rain pattering against the roof of the car almost lulled you to sleep, so you turned up the music, hoping to wake yourself up a little with the upbeat tune playing on the radio. Your fingers tapped against the wheel, enjoying the rhythm of the song.

In front of you was the sleek, black 67’ Chevy Impala that you knew like the back of your hand. How could you not? You basically lived in it for more than half of your life—it was a home for you and your brothers because it was the one constant you had in your lives. You still remembered it’s every nook and cranny and the way the leather seat felt under your skin. If you closed your eyes you could still hear the hum of its engine.

You were following them from behind to drive to their bunker. A day ago you never even thought you’d say that you were going to meet your mom for the first time since you were two years old.

Steve knew about your past. You’ve laid all the cards on the table somewhere along your relationship. He knew about your brothers, your hunting life, the kind of monsters you’ve encountered. He was no stranger to the life you lived before you were an Avenger, so when you told him that your mother was brought back to life, he wasn’t that surprised.

Although he was shocked and in disbelief for a moment, it didn’t take too much to convince him that what you were saying was true. So, here you were with a bag packed if you had to stay overnight, on your way to meet Mary Winchester.

“Be careful, angel face. Call me as soon as you get there and call me if anything happens.” He had told you before you opened the door of your car. “Promise?”

“I promise, babe. Don’t worry about me.” You smiled as he kissed the top of your head. “I’m the one who should be worried. What if James gets his nightmares again?”

“Hey, hey. It’ll be fine. It’s not like this is the first time it will be just the two of us.” He chuckled, looking down to James who was hugging your leg tightly. “Right bud?”

“I’m gonna miss mommy.” He pouted, and you couldn’t resist the urge to bend down and pick him up, setting him on your hip.

“Mommy’s gonna miss you too, pumpkin.” You planted a kiss on his cheek. “Take care of daddy for me, okay?”

“Will you be gone a long time again?”

“No, it won’t be long, baby.” You assured him, but a small part of you wondered if that was going to be the case. You hoped what you said to him was true. Spending a long time away from your baby seemed like a nightmare. “Before you know it, I’ll be here to plant kisses on your cheeks again.”

He giggled, “Okay, mommy.” He grabbed your hair in his tiny fists, making you scrunch your nose up in fondness. After handing him to Steve, Tony and Natasha went over to hug you, knowing that what you were about to face was anything but easy.

“Take care of yourself, kiddo.”

“You know the drill. Call me if you need me.”

Their support meant everything to you. In the whole six years of knowing them, you’ve begun to think of them as family.

You slowed the car down as you turned to a narrow intersection, and you hit the brakes as soon as the Impala in front of you came to a stop.

The place you were parked in front of fit the word ‘bunker’ perfectly. It wasn’t anything flashy or shiny, just a concrete building on a small hill that was covered with patches of dry grass and soil.

You pressed the button that stopped the car engine—thanks to Tony, everyone on the team was suited with high-tech equipment—and stepped out of the car, walking towards your brothers who had done the same.

“This is the bunker, huh?” You shoved your hands in the pockets of your leather jacket, already feeling the chilly breeze.

“Yeah, it’s nothing fancy like your tower. But we make do.” Dean replied with a sharpness to his tone, not even bothering to make eye contact. He strolled off to the entrance and you followed behind, keeping your distance.

When you stepped in, you took in all of it with a wave of an emotion that you couldn’t decipher. You observed the layout of the building; the metal railings in front of you, the high ceilings and the tiled walls. There was a octagon-shaped table with a built-in map on the glass surface, a number of cushioned chairs surrounding it.

You gawked in awe, it wasn’t anything you had expected. Part of you was jealous that your brothers had found the bunker after you had left, but there was a bigger part of you that was elated that your brothers had made it into a home of their own.

You could tell they did so. You recognised a few of their own stuff scattered here and there throughout the room; Sam’s jacket draped over a chair, a coffee mug on the table, a pair Dean’s sunglasses that he had worn since he was 20 near it. It was all just little things, but they were personal items that made it obvious that the space belonged to them.

The three of you had spent so many years living from motel to motel that having a consistent place to go back to every time seemed like heaven. You already knew how that felt like, and you were glad they did too.

“Yeah.” Sam whispered from behind you. “I know.” He saw the glint in your eye when you looked around the room.

You pursed your lips, not knowing what to say.

“Mom’s in there.” Dean pointed through an archway, you looked through it and saw a row of tables lined up. “She knows we brought you.”

You gulped, nervous and excited at the same time. You could feel your heart throbbing in your chest. I’m not ready for this.

“She’s waiting, Y/N.” Sam put a hand on your shoulder, albeit a little reluctantly. “It’s okay.”

Your feet dragged itself to walk down the stairs and through the archway, finding that it was a library room as soon as you saw the bookracks that lined the walls. It was a well-lit space, with a number of magnificent pillars standing in between the bookracks and the tables.

“Y/N.”

You whipped your head around to see a blonde woman with familiar gray-blue eyes, the same ones you’ve seen in your reflection. Your heart almost stopped at the sight of her. It seemed like a dream to see someone you’ve only ever seen in pictures in the flesh.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Her lips curled up into a small smile as she tried to make light of the situation. Mary took one step towards you. She wasn’t sure what was going through your head, she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, but all she wanted to do was scoop you up into her arms and embrace you in a bone-crushing hug.

“M-mom.” You stuttered, tears welling up in your eyes. You were at a loss for words. “Hi.”

“Oh, my little angel.” She ran to you, unable to contain it anymore. You let her wrap her arms around you as you nuzzled your face in the crook of her neck. “You’ve gotten so big. Look at you!”

Mary missed her daughter. She wasn’t too glad to hear that you had broken off from the family and didn’t stay in contact with Sam and Dean. Even though she was more than happy to be with her sons, her heart ached at the absence of her only daughter at their reunion, not knowing if she’ll ever get to see you at all.

“I missed you, mom.” You exhaled a shaky breath into her shoulder, arms still wrapped around her like you were clinging on for dear life. She was well aware how meaningful this was for you. For her, it felt like it was just yesterday that she was tucking all of you in bed, but it had been more than thirty years since you last saw her, and that hurt her very deeply. It was emotional for her too, and a little bit strange, but she couldn’t deny that what you were going through was different from what she was feeling.

“God, you’re not so little anymore. I can’t believe it.” She pulled away, wiping the tears off your cheeks with her hands and kissing the top of your head. “I missed you too.”

“I don’t think you know this yet,” you beamed when a thought popped into your head. “I’m a mom now, too.”

“Y/N! That’s amazing.” Her eyebrows shot up, a big grin starting to grow on her face. “You know, I’ve always wanted a grandchild, but this feels weird considering the fact that I still think you’re two years old.”

You laughed, tears still flowing greatly down your cheeks. “Do you want to meet him?”

“Of course, honey. More than anything.” Then she started to wonder, “Do I...get to meet the father too?”

“Yeah, yes please.” Another breathy laugh escaped your lips again, the joy bubbling in your chest was too much to be contained. “His name is Steve Rogers. He’s a great guy, mom. You’ll love him.”

“What about your baby?

“James. He’s three!” You chortled, face beaming with pride. “I have so much to tell you, Mom. You have no idea.”

She brushed a piece of hair out of your face. “I’m here, Y/N. You can tell me all about it.”

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the two men seated on the chairs in the room next to you had been listening quietly to your conversation. Sam threw a look at Dean, a stern gaze that was so bone-chilling, it even made Dean shift in his seat.

“He’s three Dean. She has a three year old son.”

“So?” He tried to look unbothered.

“Don’t you feel any remorse? Regret? She’s been alone all these years without us and we never even sent her a text.”

“She hasn’t been alone, Sammy. She’s obviously had that Captain America dude around for a while, not to mention that she’s friends with the literal Avengers.”

“You know that is not what I mean.” Sam scowled. “We’re her brothers, Dean. We should’ve been there nonetheless.”

Dean rolled his eyes, returning the same dirty look to him before standing up and heading to the kitchen. “I’m not talking about this now.”

Sam sighed, leaning back on his chair as he watched his brother walk away helplessly. He knew pushing him further would do no good.

This was hard for him. Y/N had been there for all his life, before they separated. She always had his back. When he got in trouble, she defended him. When Dean was a bit too annoying, she defended him. And when he wanted to go to Stanford, she defended him. She had been his biggest supporter and was nothing but a good sister to him. He wished he realised that before it was too late.

No matter the hardships he had been through all his life, he knew one thing for sure; his biggest mistake was abandoning Y/N all those years ago.

Would she forgive him for a sin so cruel?

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x winchester! reader #the devil's in the details spn x mcu #marvel reader insert #avengers reader insert #spn x mcu #supernatural x marvel #mary winchester

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

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Danger Days - Chapter seventeen: “Falling into pieces”

Word count: 7,8K

Summary: Joey talks with Matthew for the first time ever since breaking up. Gerard opens up with Mikey about his true feelings for Joey.

Warnings: Cursing, angst, mention of sexual assault.

A/N: Do you think Matthew is gonna be excited to be a dad?

Masterlist

Matthew kept asking his mom what time it was. He had been doing the same ever since he woke up around ten in the morning. He was anxious. His whole body hurt; he was suffering from several wounds, but still, what hurt him the most was not being able to talk to his girl.

- "Hey"- Paget whispered as she walked into the room with two cups of coffee- "Hello Marilyn, I brought you this."

- "Thank you, honey"- the two women hugged for a second, then the actress walked to her friend.

- "How do you feel?"

- "Like I was in a car crash, literally"- he answered and smiled- "I'm ok. My knee is still in place, which is amazing. I thought I was going to return to the crutches for another six months."

- "You are very lucky, your car is smashed... I can't believe you don't have a scratch."

- "I have many, many bruises, doesn't that count?"- Matthew whispered, still in pain.

- "I think it does"- his friend joked- "I got you these"- Paget opened a bag and put on the bed all the stuffed animals the young man had made- "I took all the stuff from your car, I had the feeling you might need these."

- "Thank you"- he softly smiled and looked at the handmade toys.

- "Everybody says hi"- Paget tried to take Matthew away from any sad thoughts he had- "Do you know when you will be discharged?"

- "No, the doctor said a couple more days."

- "Again, a car crash."

- "Yeah..."- Matthew smiled at his friend, and she smiled back- "Thank you for being here."

- "That's what friends do... hey, can I get you something to eat?"

- "I'm ok."

- "I'm not coming until tomorrow, so I'm gonna go get you some candy for later"- Paget turned around and left the room for a few minutes.

- "What time is it, mom?"

- "It's noon, baby"- she answered and walked to him, kissing his forehead- "Try to sleep a little more, I'll wake you up when she calls, ok?"- he nodded and closed his eyes. He really couldn't wait anymore.

Gerard looked at Joey warming up at the other side of the room, her eyes closed, her headphones on. He sighed, thinking she wasn't in love with him. She had never been. Not like he was, at least. She wasn't going to be his. Not without a fight. Could he win a battle against Matthew? He was a cheater, but Gerard was married. That made him a cheater too.

- "Hey!"- Mikey's hand smacking his arm took him from his thoughts- "Why are you staring at her?"

- "I was just... thinking about... nothing, I guess."

- "I'm starting to think maybe Frank is right"- and Gerard turned to his younger brother pretending to be insulted.

- "Don't be stupid."

- "Then stop drooling. You are not fooling anyone!"

- "Come on, kids! It's showtime!"- Jeffrey walked in clapping his hands- "Joey! You too!"- he yelled, and the girl took out her headphones.

- "What?"

- "Show, now! Come on!"

- "Sorry"- the girl smiled and sprinted over the band. Frank's arms locked around her as he stood in the hallway next to the stage and kissed her shoulder upon her Megadeth t-shirt.

- "Take care"- and the drummer rolled her eyes.

- "I'm gonna be sitting moving my arms. I don't see the danger."

- "I'm just saying"- she smiled, and she leaned to kiss his cheek.

- "You make it so hard to hate you, Jersey."

- "That's what my wife always says."

- "I love your wife so fucking much."

- "I love her too"- he chuckled- "Have you ever noticed our conversations always end up being weird?"- and she smiled.

- "That's 'cos you are so fucking weird, Frank"

Joey couldn't help but laugh in deep joy for a second. She loved her job and her bandmates. She was finally where she always wanted to get as a drummer. Her personal life was a mess, though. Was that the price to pay to be successful? Getting a shitty love life and a whole mess in your head?

- "I finally get what happened with Andy, in Devil Wears Prada... I hated that fucking movie, but shit, I feel just like her now."

The kids at that show were on fire, which helped the weary band perform better. It was getting harder and harder to keep on playing after all those months of touring. They all needed to get a few days off to sleep and do nothing. Traveling was exhausting. Joey had never thought about that until this leg of the tour.

- "Danke Germany!"- Gerard yelled, and the crowd yelled right away. Mikey turned his back to the kids and looked at Joey smiling. She looked happy when they were on stage. That's why he always kept an eye on her when they were performing.

- "Give me all your fucking money!"- Gerard shouted, announcing the next song- Well, are you ready, Ray?

- "Yeah!"

- "How about you, Frank?"- and Iero made the weirdest noises on the mic

- "How about you, Joey?"- and the girl widened her eyes smiling as Gerard stood in front of the drum, reaching out the mic to her.

- "Yeah!"- and Gerard grinned.

- "How about you, Mikey?"

- "Fucking ready!"

- "I think I'm alright! One, two, three, four!!"

It felt for a minute like she wasn't the supporting drummer but one of the band. And it felt incredible.

The hospital was busy. Nurses and doctors walked outside in the hallways. Matthew was trying to concentrate on anything, but he couldn't take his eyes off his phone. They had brought him lunch already, but he wasn't hungry- and Paget had left him an obscene amount of candy- so he left the tray untouched. He only had the jelly. And only because his mother forced him.

He was weary though, he felt hurt, physically beaten. He was taking it like a champ 'cos he didn't want to scare his mom, but in reality, he was shocked. He had never realized how short life could be. He had never had any kind of experience like this before, and this one showed him one thing: the important things in life are the simplest. The ones you take for granted.

- "What do I love the most in life? My family, watching my nephews grow up, my mom... Yami, my Yami's smile, her voice... everything about her"- Matthew's eyes were stuck in his cellphone's screen as he thought about everything that had happened in the last days- "If there is one thing I need every day for the rest of my life is having her next to me. I'm not gonna let her go, no matter what".

If he could travel in time and slap himself, he would. He would also kick himself in the nuts and never go to that party at all. But he couldn't. And he had to live with it. Somehow.

Joey yelled goodnight to her friends and ran out of the van to her room before anyone could say anything to her. On the ride back to the hotel, they had all been briefed about the next day. They were leaving at seven in the morning. They had to meet in the lobby. They had press and a radio interview in Copenhagen at one. And Joey had the chance to stay at the hotel and rest. Everybody told her to do so. And she didn't argue with that, she wanted to rest, and most of all, she didn't want to be at any interview or close to Gerard.

- "Goodnight, kids!"- she yelled and waved as she ran to the elevator. Gerard looked at her with a sorry glance, and his brother caught it right away.

- "Are you ok?"- Mikey asked and raised an eyebrow.

- "What? Yeah, I'm just tired"- the Way brothers looked at each other, both of them knowing the oldest was lying.

- "Sure... just don't let your exhaustion get in the way"- Mikey stated and walked away.

- "Wait, what the fuck?"- Gerard asked, making the, most likely, wrong decision to follow his younger brother.

- "Come on, Gerard! Stop denying it! You have a crush on her"- and Gerard groaned, exhausted from the same conversation. Mainly because he was running out of excuses to prove people wrong.

- "So do you! So does everybody! 'Cos you are all telling me the same shit over and over again when I don't!"- the brothers got into the elevator on their own and continued arguing.

- "I fucking know you! And I can't believe I didn't see it before! You are fucking drooling all the time! You look like a fucking teenager!"

- "Oh! shut up!"- Gerard frowned and crossed his arms on his chest- "I don't have a crush on her. I am a happily married man! Just because you have been obsessed with her ever since you met her doesn't mean so am I!" They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes until the door opened on their floor, and both stepped out of the elevator.

- "Have you tried to get anything with her?"- Mikey asked and followed his brother to his room.

- "I don't wanna talk about this"- Gerard simply answered.

- "Which means yes."

- "No, I haven't 'cos I don't like her! I have no feelings for her!"- stains of red hair dye were on Gerard's neck as he scratched it, tired of the conversation, and at the same time tired of denying the truth. One part of him wanted to tell his brother, to have someone to finally open up.

- "I don't want you to hurt her, Gerard."

- "Thank you for being concerned about her the most, instead of your brother"- Gerard snorted and opened his door, followed by his brother. He took out his shoes and laid on his bed like a dead man.

- "I care about her, and if you have feelings for her, you are fucked up!"

And suddenly, it was just too much for Gerard.

- "I know"- the singer whispered, and his brother's chest tightened at those words- "Do you think I want this? It's fucking agony! She stays as far away from me as possible, and she rejected me when I told her how I feel"- Gerard chuckled at his words- "Can you believe that? It's high school all over again! She keeps pushing me away each time I try to get closer to her, ever since the beginning."

Mikey widened his eyes, listening to his brother's confession, as he stood in front of him in shock.

- "You told her you like her?"

- "Yeah"- Gerard whispered and sighed, defeated. It was useless to deny the truth anymore- "I told her I loved her from day one."

- "Did you try to... kiss her?"

- "I succeeded, actually. After months of longing and thinking about it, I kissed her...."

- "What did she do?"- Mikey was whispering, not believing a word. Had Joey kissed his brother?

- "She stopped, told me to get away from her... and when I tried again, and she kissed me back. I thought, "Shit Gerard, you nailed it, she likes you too!" but then she called me Matthew"- Gerard's voice shook, and his brother looked at him, nearly shocked. Was he going to cry? Was he that affected by the drummer?

- "When did you..."

- "After the show in Valencia."

- "You sick bastard! She was drunk!!"- the youngest Way nearly yelled and kept walking across the room, brushing his hands against his face and making a serious effort not to hit his brother- "What the fuck Gerard?! She was intoxicated, and you tried to kiss her?"

- "I didn't try. I told you I succeeded! It was so good, it felt so fucking right"- the singer made a pause and wiped off the few tears that fell from his eyes.

- "I can't believe it! You abused her when she was drunk!" - but Gerard ignored the accusation and continued talking.

- "She wasn't drunk the first time, by the way"- and Mikey frowned.

- "You kissed her more than once!"

- "Yeah, that day you left me alone with her... it was so sweet, so tender..."

- "She was fucking depressed, crying, and affected by her boyfriend!! Gerard! What the fuck is your problem!! It's the sickest shit I've ever heard you do!"

- "Don't you think I feel like the shit too? I know I fucked it up! I just couldn't help it! I love her! I can't stand the fact she is suffering for an asshole who cheated on her! I need to fix her! I needed to..."- but Mikey didn't let him finish.

- "You are married. You don't have the moral to judge Gubler for cheating!"

- "I know"

- "And you love her? You are married! Don't you love Lynz anymore?"

- "I love her so much, Mikey! That's what's killing me too! 'Cos I love both of them! I wanna be with both! I need to have them both!"

- "Dude... that shit is sick!"- Mikey was shaken.

- "I know! That's the worst part. I know what I feel is wrong! I can't love Joey. I can't mess things with her 'cos she works with us and is fantastic as our drummer. But at the same time, it's like she is a magnet I can't keep away from! Like she is my earth, and I'm her moon, orbiting around her!"

Gerard sat down and started crying.

- "I don't know what's wrong with me! From day fucking one! I looked at her, and I knew she was going to be the end of me! And I've been dealing with this all along..."

Mikey had no idea what to do. He was in shock. Sure, he knew Gerard was weird around Joey, but he never thought it would be this bad. He always thought he didn't like her. And it turned out to be the complete opposite.

- "Until this morning, I was sure she was going to leave, not only for her stupid boyfriend but because of what happened..."

- "That's why she had been giving you the cold shoulder"- Mikey whispered, thinking out loud.

- "And I deserve it, I guess. I kissed her and told her I loved her... what the fuck is my problem?"

- "I don't know, but you really fucked it up"- Mikey nodded in silence at his statement and finally sat next to Gerard. His older brother brushed his hands against his face and wiped off the tears.

- "I feel I love her, you know? Like... a fucking piece of my heart I never knew was missing just appeared, and I need to keep her close, no matter what, 'cos if I don't, I'm gonna die."

- "Well, you are gonna have to learn to let that part go, 'cos there is no way, and I mean it, no way she is ever going to be with you."

Mikey was brutally honest, in part 'cos he was mad at Gerard, but mostly because he knew it was the truth. Joey wasn't in love with him. And even if she was, she would never let him leave his wife for her.

- "I know... and yet, I can't stop trying"- Gerard made a pause- "I hated you so bad for being so close to her... you are all so fucking close to her."

- "I always thought it was weird you were so distant."

- "I didn't know how to act around her. She smiles, and I have no fucking clue what to say."

- "You are fucked."

- "Yeah"- the two of them made a long pause.

- "You are gonna have to get rid of your feelings, Gerard."

- "I know... any clue how?"

- "No..."

- "And knowing right now she is talking to him, that shit kills me"- Mikey sighed. That was killing him too. But he didn't say a word.

The computer was on the bed. Joey sat in front of it, FaceTime was open, but she still couldn't find the guts to press "call." She just stared at the screen and sighed. She wanted to know about him, she was worried about his health after the accident. But she didn't know how to deal with it. With the whole "you broke my heart" part of the conversation.

- "Ok, let's do this. And you are not talking about any feeling, just about his health. It's gonna be a short call."

And not thinking about it again, she started the video call.

- "Hello baby!"- Marilyn's face filled the screen, and Joey's body shook with fear, anxiety, and excitement.

- "Hi! How are you?"

- "Great! How was the show?"

- "It was amazing! The kids were nuts today!"- and Joey yawned- "But I am dead, sorry. I just showered and put on my pajamas."

- "That's ok..."- there was a silence, Joey knew what was gonna happen, and she decided to treat it like a band-aid

- "And how's Matthew?"- she just ripped it off, pretending it didn't hurt

- "He is right here. He has been waiting for your call all day."

- "Mom!"- he whined, embarrassed. Joey had to bite her lips not to smile as she heard his voice somewhere near the phone. She felt her body shaking at that sound.

- "I'm gonna let you two kids talk. I'll be outside, bye honey!"

- "Bye Marilyn!"

Joey waved at the screen and noticed all the movements when the phone left the woman's hand. Two seconds later, Matthew's face filled the screen, and her heart stopped. He was bruised. He looked severely hurt. And yet, he had a massive smile on her lips as soon as he saw her.

His heart started beating so fast on his chest as soon as he laid eyes on her, he was sure one of the machines around him was going to start beeping. Neither of them said a word for a moment. They just stared.

- "FaceTiming him was a mistake. A normal call would have been so much better,"- Joey thought and took a deep breath before saying- "Hey, how do you feel?"

- "Good... I'm good. It looks worse than it is, maybe 'cos I get bruised a lot... 'cos I'm so white and... I'm a peach"- Matthew started rambling.

- "What happened?"- Joey stopped his rambling 'cos she knew he could go for hours.

- "A truck missed a red light and hit my car, but I'm ok, really... not even a broken bone."

- "What about your knee?"

- "It's still in place."

- "Now that's a miracle!"- Joey chuckled and regretted it right away, she was melting, and hearing Matthew's laughter like a cascade of joy didn't help either. Her heart kept racing, and her palms were sweating.

- "Yeah! I thought I was gonna have to spend another year in those crutches."

- "It's a good thing they are still in your closet."

- "A part of me knew I was stupid enough to injure myself again"- the actor smiled and shrugged. However, that movement hurt, and he involuntarily winced in pain.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah, I just... forgot that hurts"- Joey nodded and looked at him. She wanted to end that call before she would burst into tears, which was about to happen any second now.

He was the father of her child. They were having a baby together, and he had no idea. All the thoughts spinning around her head were too much. It scared her to think about how everything was going to be when it came to the moment to talk about it, and she was sure that the moment wasn't that one.

- "Well, you should rest. I just wanted to know if you were ok, and..."- the girl started saying, but Matthew stopped her.

- "Wait, no... don't hang up yet"- his voice was a plea, and desperation came from each word he spoke, even his eyes looked at her with sadness and longing- "Please talk to me."

- "We are talking. You are clearly in pain. Maybe you should rest."

- "Please, don't go. I needed to talk to you for so long."

- "No, Matthew."

- "I need you to listen. I need you to forgive me."

- "No, Matthew, I'm tired; I don't wanna do this, not now, not ever. I just called to know if you were ok. I can see you are not half as bad as I imagined, which makes me happy. But I don't wanna talk about us."

- "Fine, that's ok, we don't have to talk about us, let's talk about anything else."

- "Matthew"- Joey knew just talking to him about the weather was a threat. Why? 'Cos he was charming, and she loved him. She didn't want to forgive him, and seeing his face wasn't helping in keeping that resolution.

- "Please, tell me, how was your day?"- she sighed and looked away, locking her eyes in her nails- "How was the show?"

- "It was good"

- "When do you leave for Denmark?"

- "Tomorrow at seven."

- "It should be a long drive from Hamburg"- Matthew was honestly desperate to make conversation, and the subject made it obvious.

- "Jeffrey said four hours, time I plan to spend sleeping."

- "Are you doing any more press with the band?"- at that minute, anything that came through Gubler's head that could help him keep her in line was a good subject.

- "I hope not, at least not tomorrow"- Joey kept staring at her nails, avoiding his eyes. Matthew couldn't stop staring at her, sitting on her bed, in pajama, obviously exhausted but still talking to him. That was a good sign, right?

- "You looked gorgeous at the Valencia show"- he sort of whispered and saw her cheeks turning red of embarrassment- "I told you that was a great outfit."

- "Yeah... I remember"- she sighed and looked at him, raising an eyebrow- "So, did you actually watch it? I thought you would be working at the time."

- "I stopped everything and forced them to watch you play"- Joey chuckled at those words, and Matthew felt he was a tiny baby step closer to win her back- "I wasn't going to miss it. It was my chance to see you live, and you kicked ass." The girl felt the blush in her cheeks as she looked at her fingers again, playing with them on the blanket of the bed.

- "Thanks..."- Matthew stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at her.

- "You look so beautiful tonight"- but she raised her eyes and frowned

- "Don't"

- "Sorry"- he whispered and sighed- "So... Paget came to see me today"- that was the only thing that came to his mind

- "How is she?"

- "Good, she bought me so many candies I'm gonna have a sugar rush until Halloween"- and he chuckled.

- "I'm jealous. Mikey took away all my candy today."

- "Why?"- the boy frowned.

- "He said I can't have that much sugar"- and Joey bit her tongue. She couldn't eat that much sugar being pregnant. She was pregnant with Matthew's baby.

- "What is he? The sugar police?"- and the girl slightly smiled.

- "Yeah, I guess he is."

- "How is he?"

- "He hates you."

- "I guess everybody hates me, I hate me... mom hates me."

- "I surely doubt it."

- "Believe me, she does."

- "Anyway, we are not talking about that..."

- "Are we ever going to talk about that?"- and Joey knew the answer to that - "Yes, I guess we will... we have to talk, "But not about what you are thinking, cheater."

- "Good, great, yeah, awesome, we have to talk, I need to..."- but Joey stopped him again.

- "Not now, not today. When I come back to Los Angeles, we can meet, have a coffee and talk about it." Matthew nodded. He didn't have another choice but to agree with her terms. He wanted to talk to her, and he had to go along with her flow to win her back. Not along with his desires.

- "Do you want me to pick you from the airport?"

- "No thanks, I can take a cab."

- "You are gonna bring a million bags..."

- "I can handle it, don't worry"- her voice was so serious. Matthew knew he shouldn't insist.

- "Ok... how's your mom and dad?"

- "They are ok. They miss me."

- "I miss you too, so fucking much."

- "Ok, gonna hung up now."

- "I'm sorry, I just.... needed to see you."

- "And you saw me, and I wanted to know if you are ok, and now I know you are, so... I guess we are both..."- but no word came from Joey's lips for a second. She just zoned out, looking at Matthew- "I guess I should go, I have to get up real early, and I'm tired."

- "Of course, I don't wanna keep you up."

- "I'll call you when I get to Los Angeles."

- "Yes, please, let me know you are ok."

- "Do you know when you'll be discharged?"

- "In two days."

- "Good"- she nodded and bit her lips- "Ok, so, talk to you in a few days."

- "Yes... well... would it be ok if I called you sometime?"- she didn't know what to say- "Or text you, or something... just to make sure you are alright."

- "I'm alright."

- "I still get worried about you... traveling and all"- she looked at him, there was so much sorrow in his eyes, in his words.

- "You can text me if you want"- and a sigh of relief left his lips.

- "Thanks... now go to sleep."

- "Yeah, I will."

- "I love you"- he said, knowing those words might upset her, but he wasn't able to keep them in his chest any longer- "And I swear I'm gonna do whatever it takes to show you how sorry I am for fucking things up."

- "Bye, Matthew. Take care and say hello to your mom from me"- Joey ignored his last words and watched him for a few more seconds.

- "Talk to you later"- he murmured, fighting the tears that kept coming to his eyes

- "Bye"- Joey hung up and shut down the computer. In less than a second, she started crying, her heartbreaking and beating filled with love at the same time. Seeing him, hearing him. It was all too much.

- "How can I stop fucking loving you?! How on earth can you stop loving someone?!"

And as odd as it might be, Gerard was asking himself the very same question a few rooms away from her.

::: Denmark, March 15th, 2011 :::

Ray's arm felt numb underneath Joey's neck. But he didn't want to move it and wake her up. They were at the back of the bus, probably an hour away from Copenhagen. The girl had slept most of the trip after puking breakfast. The two of them had spent the whole journey there, with Mikey, mostly sleeping. They were all exhausted.

- "Hey guys!"- until Frank walked in and woke Mikey and Joey up- "Sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping"- he stood at the door with a sorry glance- "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to do the setlist now, 'cos we have been playing the same one for the last three shows, and it would be nice to make a few changes"- Ray nodded as Joey sat down, yawning.

- "Are we there yet?"

- "Not yet, Bug"- Ray smiled and moved his arm, feeling numbness and tingling- "Do you feel ok?"

- "Yeah, I'm hungry."

- "Here"- Mikey quickly grabbed a bag and gave her a cereal bar- "I got you healthy snacks when we stopped a while ago"- and he smiled, showing her a paper bag- "We've got everything you need to keep my nephew growing healthy."

- "Thanks"- she whispered, feeling awkward still just talking about her pregnancy like a common thing. She still didn't (or couldn't) believe she was pregnant.

- "So, setlist"- Frank sat next to his friends and started writing. They were halfway there when Iero turned to Joey and smiled- "Bug, pick a song"- and she frowned.

- "Why?"

- "We've been shitty friends. We never ask you what you wanna play."

- "That's 'cos I... you know, that's not my job, you are the band, you choose your songs."

- "And I choose you, like a Pokemon"- Frank grinned- "What would you like to play?"- Joey scratched her eyes and yawned again.

- "Vampires."

- "Done!"- and Frank wrote it down- "What else?"- the girl thought about it for a second

- "House of Wolves"- Ray smiled.

- "Loving your choices."

- "Thank you"- Joey finished her cereal bar and smiled- "Thank you, Mikey."

- "You are welcome, Bug"- a hum on the girl's phone caught her attention. It was a text from Matthew.

- "Hope you are having a nice trip"- and her heart raced, her cheek blushed, and her friends frowned.

- "Are you two in better terms?"- Ray asked, knowing neither Mikey nor Frank was going to ask without insulting Matthew.

- "Let's say I'm wrapping my mind around the fact I have to tell him he will be a father. I talked to him about his health, and that was it... nothing about us."

- "But he is texting you"- Mikey pointed out the obvious.

- "Yeah... but we are not back together. And I don't want to forgive him, so I'm ok"- the all nodded- "I just know I'm gonna have to deal with the whole baby thing with him, and I don't know if I wanna be mad at him the whole time"- they all nodded again- "I don't know what I'm doing"- she whispered.

- "If you want, we can say it's my baby"- Frank said with an honest smile- "I give them my last name. Matthew won't have a reason to be close to you, and everything will be awesome"- Joey chuckled at the idea.

- "You are so funny, Iero."

- "I wasn't joking. I can convince Jamia to go through the whole thing."

- "Shut up!"- Joey punched softly Frank's arm and smiled.

- "She wants to talk to you, by the way. Jamia"- the guitarist said and kept writing down in his notebook, avoiding making eye contact with the girl, just in case she would get upset.

- "That's cool."

- "I mean about your baby, in case you need any help... if you want to ask her things... she is there"- Frank finally looked at Joey and bit his lips- "I'm sorry I told her about that"- he made a pause, and Joey shook her head.

- "It's ok. I love Jamia... and I'm sure I'm gonna text her with a million questions in the next nine months, so... thanks"- the girl smiled and messed with Frank's hair. The four of them stayed quiet. Mikey was stuck at his book, Frank looked at the setlist and Ray at their schedule for the day.

- "Where's Gerard?"- Toro asked and looked around. Joey turned to the window, Mikey's eyes stuck at her. He was dying to talk to her about what had happened with his brother. He wanted to know her side of the story.

- "He is at his bunk"- Frank simply replied- "He has been there since we got into the bus."

- "Good, stay away from her,"- Mikey thought and went back to his book. Maybe his brother was doing the right thing for once.

It was three in the morning, and Matthew woke up for the hundredth time that night. It was hard to sleep at the hospital. There were many noises all night long, and nurses that came to put an eye on him. Just two more days, and he could go home. That idea made him happy. Six more days and Joey was going to be back in Los Angeles. The hum of his phone took him from his thoughts, and a smile lodged on his lips immediately.

- "Already in Denmark"- Joey had answered his earlier message.

- "How was the trip?"- he quickly typed and waited, staring at the screen. Joey looked at her phone and held her breath. She was lying on her bed, knowing she wasn't going to get any sleep. The tv was on, the sound in the background of her room made her feel a little less alone.

- "I slept most of the way"- she simply replied and closed her eyes. She felt like a schoolgirl talking with her crush. Decided to avoid her phone, the girl surfed channels for a while. But an incoming text took her complete attention. She wanted to read it so badly, but she didn't want to want to read it. If that made any sense at all.

- "I'm jealous. I can't sleep in this hospital,"- Matthew wrote and sighed. He looked around his room and his eyes laid on the stuffed animals still on the couch by his bed. The ones he had made for her. He just hoped she would like them.

- "Hospitals sucks,"- Matthew chuckled. He could almost listen to her voice saying that as he read it.

- "Food is the worst. I've been living on Paget's candies,"- but that message, Joey didn't reply. He waited for at least ten minutes, but no answer appeared on the screen. He closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't want to push things too fast, but at the same time, he couldn't help it, he needed to talk to her for hours, like before.

Joey was curled in bed, surfing channels, her phone hidden underneath a pillow. She knew talking to Gubler was a bad idea 'cos she loved him. So instead, she hid her phone from her and glued her eyes to the screen. Bad luck for her, "The Aquatic Life with Steve Zissou" was on. It was like life wasn't helping her at all. Matthew was everywhere. Including the movie she watched.

- "I should go get something to eat,"- she typed, giving up at the temptation. Gubler opened his eyes. It took the girl over half an hour to reply.

- "With the guys?"- he wrote quickly

- "No, I'm alone today, they are doing their band shit"- she sat on the bed and put on her shoes- "Talk to you later"- and finished the conversation.

- "Take care,"- Matthew answered quickly. He smiled and closed his eyes, sighing- "Baby steps, Gubler. Baby steps."

- "What the fuck are you doing, asshole?!"- Joey slapped herself mentally- "Stop giving him hopes. You are not getting back together."

Mikey wasn't himself that day. He wasn't mentally there at any of the interviews. His brother was in love with Joey. The thought of Gerard trying to kiss her was hunting him. It was sick. And when she was drunk, when she was sad. He even felt guilty for leaving her with him. Like he was responsible for his mistake.

- "And why the fuck didn't she tell me?! This is huge?! Doesn't she trust me? Isn't this important? I thought we were brother and sister! This is something you share with your brother!"

- "Mikey?"- Frank moved his hand in front of the bassist's face and frowned- "Are you here?"

- "Sorry, I spaced out... what is it?"

- "The interview is over; we can go"- Mikey looked around. He was the only one still sitting at the radio studio.

- "Right."

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah."

- "You are quiet."

- "I don't usually talk a lot in interviews."

- "Touché"- Iero chuckled and tapped on his friend's back- "Tired?"

- "Weary"

- "Just a few more days, hang in there"- Mikey nodded and walked with his friend. Gerard looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He didn't reply, not even with a gesture. Mikey just continued walking. He knew what he had to do. He just found it weird.

- "Hey"- he whispered, making sure his brother wasn't going to overhear his conversation and held his cellphone close- "Are you feeling good?"

- "Yeah"- Joey rolled in bed and sighed- "I already had lunch half hour ago, and it's still in my stomach, so I guess I'm awesome"- Mikey smiled.

- "Were you sleeping?"

- "No, just rolling in bed and coloring mandalas from time to time, watching tv."

- "We are going to the hotel now."

- "Great! Are you gonna nap?"

- "I wanted to hang out with you."

- "Great! Bring candies."

- "I'll bring healthy snacks for my nephew"- Joey sighed at those words. She wasn't ready to start talking about her baby.

- "A tiny little Snicker, for Christ Sakes. For your niece."

- "I'll think about it."

Joey watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, trying to wrap her head around the fact she was going to have a baby. Sure, she always thought about it, but not at twenty-six. Yes, she wanted to have a baby with Matthew, but not under those circumstances.

- "I guess I'll have to make the best of it"- she sighed, rubbing her belly sweetly- "You are gonna have Halloween every day, I swear"- Joey whispered- "I'm gonna make sure you've got everything I never had. Your dad is gonna go nuts when we tell him... I still don't know what kind of nuts, but I guess we'll have to figure it out."

She made a pause, thinking about Matthew telling her he wanted to fill their house with babies. Maybe he was going to be excited after all. Maybe.

- "Your uncle Mikey is gonna spoil you, that I am sure about"- the knock on the door took Joey from her conversation with her belly. Mikey stood at the other side, smiling and holding a fun size Snicker bag.

- "I'm going to give you one every day. That's gonna be your only candy, ok?"

- "Thank you!!"- Joey walked in, jumping in excitement, making her friend chuckle. He was slightly mad at her, but still, he couldn't be mean to her- "How was work?"

- "Boring, I think I fell asleep during most of the interviews"- the girl chuckled and sat indian style on her bed- "I can see you are watching kids movies already"- the bassist raised an eyebrow staring at the screen.

- "I happen to love this movie... I'm a Halloween kind of girl."

- "Yeah, I know"- Mikey stood in front of Joey, chewing a Snicker.

- "Aren't you going to sit down and watch this masterpiece with me?"

- "I need to talk to you about something first."

- "Shoot"- but Way didn't know how to start that conversation. He thought about it the whole morning, but he still had no clue. So instead, he mumbled some unintelligible words- "What is it?"

- "I just..."

- "Is it because I've been wearing a lot of your hoodies? I'm sorry, the ones I brought are Matthew's, and I don't feel like wearing his clothes."

- "No Bug, it's not that."

- "'Cos I'm wearing Frank's too... which is pretty weird 'cos he is my size..."

- "No, Joey. It's not about that."

- "Then why are you so serious?"

- "'Cos you never told me you kissed my brother"- and Joey's face fell.

- "Did he tell you?"

- "Clearly... what the fuck?"

- "I don't know!!"

- "Why didn't you tell me?!"

- "'Cos if I never told anyone, I could pretend it never happened! And I wish that never happened!"

- "What the fuck was that about?!"

- "I don't know, I felt like the shit, he kissed me, I didn't stop him right away..."

- "Do you like him?"

- "No!"

- "Do you love him?"- Mikey was serious about his questions- "'Cos he is sure he loves you."

- "I don't love him, Mikey. We both know there is only one shitty person I love"- Joey laid back on the bed and covered her face with her hands.

- "Do you think I'm proud? I should have never done that! and I definitely shouldn't have let him get to the point he got"- Mikey frowned.

- "What?"

- "So he didn't tell you he wanted to fuck?"- the girl simply replied- "When I was drunk... we kissed, at a certain point we made out, but I wasn't very conscious of what he was doing... I just... in my intoxication... I thought he was Matthew."

- "What the fuck?"- Way wide opened his eyes and turned to his friend in shock.

- "Yeah, it was sick..."- she whispered, embarrassed.

- "Joey, that's abuse!"

- "What? no!"- the girl gasped.

- "Joey, my brother tried to abuse you"- Mikey yelled- "You were drunk!"

- "Yeah, but..."

- "You were nearly unconscious, and he tried to make out with you?"

- "No! No! I mean, a part of me knew what I was doing. I just... didn't know who I was doing it with."

Honestly, that didn't sound like an excellent explanation of the facts. Joey was in denial of how bad things had gotten with Gerard.

- "Bug, that's not right! He knew exactly what he was doing, and he shouldn't have done that to you if you were drunk!"- Mikey's words resonated in Joey's head.

- "He didn't try to rape me. I mean, he stopped when I realized he wasn't Matthew... and honestly, I'm not trying to defend him, but I was pretty disgusted by my actions right away!"

Joey stood up and looked at her friend right in the eyes. At that moment, she decided the best she could do was take the pushy scene from the story, when Gerard didn't want to let her go. It was better to forget that moment and pretended it never really happened.

- "The first time he kissed me, I thought making out with your brother was the perfect revenge against Matthew, mostly 'cos he was always saying Gerard had a thing for me"- the girl sighed and pouted at her friend- "Who was ever going to think he was right?"- Mikey wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of your head- "I just didn't know that one kiss made him think we could do it again when I was drunk."

- "Please don't do stupid shit like this again"- she nodded

- "Your shirt stinks"- she joked, making her best to stop the serious conversation 'cos she couldn't stand arguing with Mikey, and less talking about that subject.

- "Sorry, I ran out of clean clothing 'cos I've got a friend who keeps wearing everything I own"- he chuckled, and Joey smiled, letting him go slowly to go back to the bag of candies- "I said just one a day."

- "Can I get an extra one today? Please?"

- "No, you are grounded, 'cos you did something incredibly stupid"- they stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, until Mikey smiled- "Fine, but only today"- she girl smiled and landed a kiss on Mikey's cheek.

- "Thank you. Besides, Ray is the only one who can ground me around here."

- "Right"- Joey chewed her Snicker and laid back in bed, tapping the spot next to her- "There's still one more thing."

- "Oh shit! I don't want to have more serious conversations. We've had enough of those already."

- "He claims to love you"- Mikey just said, and Joey closed her eyes, wincing.

- "I know! And I find it as stupid as false! We've barely talked this whole time! He has no idea who I am, what I like, or anything! He is just talking with his cock!"

- "And what are you gonna do about it?"

- "Stay as far from him as possible"- Mikey laid next to Joey and held her hand- "Do you think the others suspect anything?"

- "Frank, for sure. He has been arguing about it for days now."

- "Shit!"

- "But hey, hey, don't worry"- Mikey tapped on Joey's hand- "It's gonna be ok."

- "Bróðir"- the girl made a pause and never unglued her eyes from the screen- "I'm gonna have to leave."

- "No!"- his voice sounded serious and certain- "You don't have to!"

- "I'm nothing but trouble! This tour is more a soap opera than a job at this point! Breaking up with Matthew and having all of you taking care of me, now I'm pregnant, your brother claims to love me." Joey turned to Mikey and cut him a shy smile. - "Face it, if you had hired a male drummer, you would have had a quiet tour. Nothing to worry about, not all this fucking drama to deal with."

- "If we had hired anyone else, I would have had a miserable tour"- Mikey simply replied and messed with Joey's hair as the two of them returned to watch the movie- "So stop saying nonsenses."

- "I'm so sorry..."

- "Knock it off"

- "And I don't want you to be mad at your brother."

- "I'm not mad"- Joey raised an eyebrow and looked at Mikey- "Fine, I hate him right now, 'cos he has been acting like a fucking crazy jerk, and honestly, he nearly abused you, Joey!"

- "Don't hate him... let's pretend none of that weird shit ever happened, which is what I'm planning to do."

- "Fine"

- "And don't get all weird."

- "Fine"- Mikey sounded a little annoyed.

- "And don't make a fuzz if I stay away from him."

- "I'll support you, I'll even stay away from him myself."

- "Don't. He is fucked up. Maybe if he opened up with you, it's because he needs company or someone to help him overcome this... madness."

Mikey turned to Joey again and sighed. He disagreed with her, and he was planning to stay away from his brother and keep him away from Joey as well.

- "And how was your talk with Matthew?"- Joey's heart raced just by hearing his name- "The red cheeks are giving you away."

- "It was... ok, I guess."

- "And now you are texting"- she sighed and huffed.

- "I'm gonna have a baby with him, Mikey. It's hard."

- "And you love him."

- "Not the point... and that's all I'm saying about that subject."

- "Ok"- Mikey wrapped an arm around Joey's neck, and she rested her head on him- "Let's watch the movie before we have to leave for the arena."

Mikey wasn't mad at Joey. He was scared she might consider leaving the band. He loved having her there. She was honestly his anxiety shield, and he couldn't deal with that tour without her. Not at the moment. He was alone. He felt alone, and she was the one with him always. Ray had Christa, Frank had Jamia, Gerard had Lynz (and it was now obvious: he also had a stalking problem).

Mikey had Joey. At least when they were on the road. Hiding in their friendship and brotherhood was the only way he could handle loneliness. Or to avoid it.

taglist @all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

Do you wanna talk about this story, or be added to the taglist? send me a message here

#gerard way #Mikey Way #Matthew Gray Gubler #Frank Iero #frank iero #ray toro #babymetaldoll writes #mgg fanfic #mcr fanfic

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gossip-girl-of-middleearth · 3 years

Note

Hello! I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfy but I was wondering if I could get a bit of advice? From your recent posts, you said you left your home from toxicity and just bad things in general.

I’m in a similar situation, but my dad will be taking me away from my mom. And I just know it’ll be a shit show. And I’m absolutely terrified when we tell her and what the backlash will be afterwards towards my brothers and me and dad in general

How did you do it? How did you take the leap? Do you possibly have any advice on how to deal ?

Hello, friend!! ☀️

Thank you so much for reaching out, it means a lot that you value my advice <3

Hmm, okay from what I can tell of your situation, that is indeed a tricky one, but nothing can’t be overcome!

It’s important to remember, though, I was 19 when I left (now 20), so the way I handled things is going to be a lot different than how a minor can handle things (legally at least, feel free to replicate my insane stunts lmao)

Advice below the cut! (family violence trigger warning, I suppose?)

My entire family was and is extremely volatile, and I don’t speak to any of them anymore except for my older brother, but I’ll be cutting him off in 3 weeks too when I move.

Fortunately, my dad and brother were both kicked out of the house years ago due to violence, which left me with my mother, who’s quite insidious herself (just watch any Conjuring movie and that’ll give a good idea of what it was like living in that house lol)

I get the same feeling watching this scene as when I was around her in that house. Granted she didn’t try to change my gender, but the hatred for my father getting taken out on me is pretty accurate lol, paired with the immediate “motherly love” afterwards (she never hit me though, pleased to say — she wasn’t physically violent, just emotionally, financially, mentally and verbally. She did try to run my dad over once though, so, there’s that too)

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Yikes…yeahh the same eerie feeling for sure, still makes all my hairs stand upright in memory.

(For further context this clip reminds me of my father and this one of my brother)

In the clip about my father, he definitely reminds me of Frank Gallagher, except he despises my mother instead of revering her. He’s a workaholic instead of a drug addict, too. But the mannerisms are the same. I always handled him in the way Fiona does.

Regarding my brother, I think everything about our family hit him the hardest, despite being the oldest. He developed a very violent streak, and has very poor impulse control. I love him dearly but he’s a snake in the grass, and has thrown me under the bus multiple times to get ahead in life. I mostly just pity him, since I know what our life was like growing up. But still, I can’t defend him forever, especially not at the cost of myself. Literally yesterday I woke up to a text from him asking me to come pick him up because he got arrested for starting a fight at a bar and smashing their windows.

When things started getting pretty bad with my mother earlier this year, I started to realise in my heart that there was no way I could go forth in life with her in it. I focused on the future relationships I would have one day when far away from this town — romantic partner, children, friends etc

I sort of realised one day I’d care about them a lot more than I care about my mother, because those future people would care about me. That in turn got me realising that I do deserve love, despite how my mother made me feel, and that I don’t want her to deprive another second of that in my life.

Something very unique that triggered this too was going to go visit an old family psychic, who’s basically just the Gandalf to my Frodo (ily, Chris <3). He very accurately predicted my birth years ago after my mother was told she was infertile — he got the date, year and time right three years in advance, and even knew ahead of time what my personality would be like, which he was spot-on about.

Well, I went and visited him a few months ago because I was lost with my direction, and he ended up pausing and had a sudden feeling, which led to him telling me that he’d just found out I would be having twin boys one day.

Normally I don’t buy into that stuff, but this Gandalf dude…well I knew he was right.

Knowing I’d have sons of my own one day took me from a scared daughter mindset and into a maternal mother bear in an instant, and I knew I didn’t want any children of mine around my mother or the rest of my family, for their safety alone, which made me realise, “Well, if I wouldn’t allow my own children near them, why do I allow myself?”

I started grey-rocking her in the lead-up to me leaving, which of course frustrated her (she’s a malignant narcissist), but it was a necessary step to start emotionally detaching myself from her.

It all bottled over one night after a pretty distressing argument (I had locked myself in my room to avoid it, but she was still at my door carrying on).

My cat, who’s been my best friend for years, was sitting on the floor next to me, and sort of looked up and I swear he spoke with his eyes, saying, “You know we can’t keep doing this, right? You know this abuse has an expiry date?”

I agreed with my cat and knew right then and there that I’d be leaving that night after my mother fell asleep.

Well, when she was finally done (with threats that there’d be more in stock in the morning, mind you) I went to bed early and set my alarm to 3am (was a little inside joke with myself, since that’s biblically the “witching devil hour”)

I started quietly packing my quilt and cat up (I’d already been secretly packing the boot of my car up with all sentimental and important items weeks in advance, except she caught on and took all my baby albums and more to her boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have any baby photos or information on me when I was a baby anymore, like first words, size and just general things I’d have liked to compare to my own kids one day, rip)

Once that was all in my car, I quietly said goodbye to the old family dog and cat (they weren’t mine to take, not that I could’ve anyways, since it was troubling enough taking Buddy, who’s actually my pet and not the family one). That was pretty heartbreaking, as I knew that’d be the last time I’d see them (I grew up with them and was the only one who took care of them — mother neglects kids and pets alike lmao).

Once that was over, I looked around my house with my hand on the front door and was very melancholy, but knew Buddy was right: it had all reached its expiry date.

I left very quietly and drove to McDonalds for a coffee, as I had a long drive ahead (I had organised to be a nanny in this rich family’s house far away in the city — two hours drive). Luckily they were away on their country farm 4 hours away, so I had time to sneak Buddy in.

The nanny thing recently backfired horribly because they discovered Buddy, which led to more AM escapes with my car, but I’m staying with my older brother and his gf for 3 more weeks only. Something I’ve been working towards for months now is moving to a wilderness island to live in my country’s equivalent of Bag End — a beautiful country cottage, amazing job and fantastic study opportunities.

Best feature yet: it’s 60 hours away from my hometown by car, and then you’d have to take a boat for 10 more hours!! They shall never find me hahaha

One of my friends has also told me recently that my mother has started spreading horrible, defamatory rumours about me around town, but I don’t care anymore because I’m almost out.

So, although I can’t offer any practical advice (idk if you’re a minor or not, but regardless it’s great your dad is helping you!) this is the best advice I can offer:

Find a dream and hold onto it, one that doesn’t involve your immediate family. For me it’s moving to that island and enjoying all the fresh air. It’ll push you forwards and remind you of what you’re fighting for when at your lowest.

Remind yourself there will be other people in your life, whether a spouse, friends, children or even a dog! (I’m getting a golden retriever next year 🐾) And then remember that you deserve all of them and the unconditional love they offer you.

Remember that if you don’t want your mother/family screwing those people over by proxy of her/their relationship to you, then there’s no way in hell you alone should put up with it either, as I guarantee those future people only want good things for you ☀️

There is a good life after abuse, I’ve seen it, and I know you can achieve it, too!

Be prepared for tons of backlash and bullshit — it’s inescapable when dealing with people like this, but I recommend educating yourself on narcissistic parents and tactics to deal with them.

Finding a good therapist who deals in PTSD regarding childhood abuse is important, too. I found an amazing one in the town I’m moving to, who had nearly the same upbringing as me!

So while I’m still struggling with a lot of fear (scared my mother will find where I’m working and living one day) and guilt (I feel horrible about leaving the family dog and cat behind, especially when they need veterinary help, only to then go and get myself another puppy) I understand I’ve done the best I can in a very abnormal situation, and that I can only do better from here.

Also, this song has been a saving grace when going all angsty over wanting to leave your current situation:

It’s from my favourite Broadway Musical, “Newsies”, and lemme tell you — discovering this as a 17-year-old when I was just starting to realise the severity of my situation was pure divinity.

Jeremy Jordan, my beloved Broadway Bard <3

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When I finally get my cottage, I’m getting a wooden plaque with the name “Santa Fe” engraved on it, and am hanging it on my front door.

I wish you much luck and love, my little anonymous friend! And please know my inbox is open any time you need anything — vent, advice, a laugh or something else, ANYTHING, it feels good to know my past can maybe help someone else’s present ☀️

Please update me, too! I’m following your story along ardently now! (Also, be sure to take your sentimental items and store them somewhere safe away from your mother — ie baby albums, birth certificates, other paraphernalia/memorabilia etc).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must hit the road. DESTINY AWAITS!

#ahh yes #Newsies my beloved <3 #and bless my family Gandalf #I’m gonna send him a gift next year from the small country town I’m moving to for his birthday as a thanks #also I’m torn between naming the golden retriever ‘Jaskier/Dandelion’ or ‘Glorfindel/Glorfy’ now #so happy that’ll soon be my only dilemma in life <33

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heavensenthearty · 3 years

Note

Do you have thoughts on Zuko’s “guru goody goody” line from TSR? I’ve seen people say/imply that makes Zuko racist or means he doesn’t take the Air Nomad genocide seriously. I’ve been seeing a lot of people trying to cancel Zuko from every angle lately so I can’t tell anymore what’s a critique that actually holds weight vs one done in bad faith because their fav is less popular or for woke points. So I wanted to know your view (if you want to share of course)

Thanks for seeking out my opinion, Anon! It means a lot! ☺️🤗

And well, my thoughts are that Zuko was OOC there.

That's a pretty good resume about it because he has been told much longer speeches about many different values from many other characters like Iroh, Song, and even Jet, and while he showed he was annoyed about being lectured, he never lashed at them for making their talk "cheesy" or for bringing up beliefs they earned from their upbringing at their respective countries. Song brought up how the war had affected her, her family and the Earth Kingdom in general throughout their dinner together with Iroh and her mom and then at her private talk with Zuko, and this is the way he reacted:

And this was over a single (yet nasty) burn. I doubt he would have had a less affected expression if they were talking about the deaths of thousands of people.

In fact, the one that we have seen laughing over the death of thousands of people is (shocking as it is) Iroh, when he was joking that Ba Sing Se would be an amazing conquer for the Fire Nation if he and his army didn't destroy it first during Zuko's flashback in Zuko Alone.

I don't see many people trying to cancel Tea Uncle though (not that I would want them) and I don't know the specific reason why even if they are many explanations: people only sees appearances and because Iroh is soft-spoken and funny then he's intrinsically incapable of any wrong, while Zuko has plenty character flaws including some temper; flawed as he is, Zuko is paired with a brown-skinned girl who showed around the same amount of flaws as him and God forbid two imperfect characters can be perfectly imperfect together, right?

Now that I mention Katara, she and Sokka also gave Zuko quite some words of their own in this very episode that we are discussing about their mother's death during a Fire Nation raid, and Zuko listened and then consoled them.

And we saw his face when he finally looked at the man who committed that murder. It pretty much confirmed he isn't someone who takes death lightly, right?

And apart from all of this that I'm saying, Bryke already admitted they (tried) (emphasis on tried) to portray Zuko as the devil on Katara's shoulder and Aang as the angel, so... that tells us something about how the characterization for this episode was envisioned.

Zuko's "Guru goody-goody" line is indeed a-hole behavior, but Aang was being an a-hole too. He was giving an indeed cheesy speech in the middle of a rawly emotional situation — not the "pretty" kind of emotional. Maybe was just thinking the same thing that I did when I first watched that episode: "Dude, her mom was burned alive, stop trying to play preacher!"

And let's say Aang is everyone's favorite preacher, why don't snap at the other people that downright disrespected the Air Nomad genocide by filling the Northern Air Temple with machinery and Fire Nation paraphernalia?

Yes, I'm talking about Theo, The Mechanist, and co. The fact that they can express themselves politely doesn't mean they aren't doing something bad.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think my theory is probably true and people only wants to see smiley characters building empires over the graves of the innocent rather than imperfect characters trying to avoid more deaths of innocents 🤷🏽‍♀️

#sorry if i broke your faith in humanity #zuko #zuko x katara #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of aang #atla #anti aang #aang salt #anti bryke #bryke broke humanity

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ilovefandoms102 · 4 years

Text

Part 3-Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries

Part 2 Part 4

Note: We’re almost at 400 new friends!!!! I just want to say THANK YOU to each and every one who has taken time to read even just one of my stories. I truly from the bottom of my heart appreciate it. I love seeing the comments, messages, and reblogs from everyone who has taken the time to do so! It inspires me to put out even more for you guys, and I have so many ideas I want to share with you all! Hope you guys enjoy and don’t forget to let me know what you think!

===============================

LAX’s airport was bigger than I could have ever imagined...

I rolled my suitcases along to where Rudy had told me they would be waiting, a duffel bag slung over my shoulder. Hey, I was staying for almost a month in California, I had necessities to bring. I heard my name being called, whipping my head in the direction it came from. I beamed when I saw everyone, making my way towards them.

Both Maddie’s made it to me first, taking me into a group hug. They squealed and jumped around, saying how excited they were to see me. Chase ruffled my hair, taking me into a side hug. I spotted Rudy last, a sly smirk on his face. He was more handsome than I remembered, despite seeing his face almost everyday. It was different now that I saw him standing before me, the slight beard he was growing made him look older. He pulled me into a bear hug, inhaling my scent. I did the same, loving the feeling of his arms around me.

“I missed you guys so much.” I admitted, pulling away from Rudy.

“We can’t wait to show you around!” Maddie C exclaimed.

Rudy took my duffel bag while Chase got one of my suitcases, leading the way to the car. He grunted when I handed him my bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Jesus woman, what’s in here?” Rudy asked, using both hands to haul my bag.

“Makeup, shoes, ya know...girl stuff.” I shrugged, turning to wink at him over my shoulder.

“There’s gotta be some cement blocks in here or something.” he grumbled, slinging into the back of the car.

“Careful! There’s some expensive shit in there!” I gasped, earning an eye roll from the blonde.

The girls and Chase piled into the back, leaving me to sit up front with Rudy driving. I glared at the three devils in the back, knowing what they were up to. Once we got out of the airport, we jammed out to some 80′s rock. Although, Chase, Rudy, and I were the only ones that knew any of the songs.

I was an old soul, I loved old music. I listened mostly to anything from the 80′s to the early 2000′s, from pop to rock n roll. My mom always liked to tell me that I was born in the wrong era, and I guarantee she’s right. I think that’s also why Rudy and I got along so well, both of us having the taste for old music. The Maddie’s sat back and enjoyed our concert, videoing us at points when Rudy would go crazy.

I loved that I could be myself around them, not feeling the need to hide. Scream singing in the car while dancing with my best friends, this is what I needed after a stressful 4 months. I breathed in the Los Angeles air, feeling the sun beating down on my arm that hung out the window. I watched as the palm trees passed, the salty air feeling inviting.

====================================

Once we arrived at Chase’s house, everyone pitched in to lug my shit up the stairs. It was a real struggle since Chase had to pick a house with millions of steep steps. We were all huffing and puffing by the time we made it to my room I’d be living in for the next month, all of us crashing to the bed. Rudy crashed on top of me, a giggle erupting from my lips.

“You’re comfy,” he sighed, squeezing his arms around me.

It was odd feeling small in his arms despite being bigger than most girls, he was a lot more buff than I remember him being. We didn’t move for a while, just shifting so that Rudy was laying with his head on my stomach so he wouldn’t be crushing me. I spotted Maddie C pulling her phone out.

“Don’t you dare Madelyn,” I chuckled, knowing she was doing it anyways.

“You guys look pretty comfy.” she giggled, moving her finger to zoom.

“That makes one of us,” I commented, playing along for wherever she was about to post. Rudy looked at me offended, his lips pouting out.

Hysterical laughter came from all of us except Rudy who was still pouting, getting up to lay beside of me instead. I poked his lip, my stomach hurting from laughing so hard. He shoved my hand away, turning his back to me.

“Oh come on Ru, it was for the video.” I scoffed, tugging his huge bicep.

“I’m mad at you.” he huffed, but I could see the slight smirk on his face.

“Who decided to have a sleepover and not invite me?” a girl asked, walking in the room.

From Instagram I could tell this was Elaine, her beauty even more striking in person. She made me feel intimidated, her eyes lingered on where Rudy and I sat. I could see the jealousy in her eyes, making me scoot away from him.

“Hey El, this is y/n. Y/n, this is Elaine.” Maddie C introduced, gesturing to both of us.

“So this is the famous y/n...” she said, raising her brows. I felt her gaze burning over me, making me even more self conscious.

“That’s me, um I’ve heard all about your amazing photography.” I laughed nervously.

“Yeah, Rudy and I just had a shoot actually.” she revealed.

Maddie B seemed to be the only one to notice the tension in the room, Rudy hadn’t even looked up from his phone yet. I looked at her and she arched her brow at me, clearly not used to Elaine being so passive aggressive.

“Are we going to eat guys? I’m starving.” Chase groaned, throwing his head back dramatically.

“I haven’t ate at all today, what’s good around here?” I asked excitedly.

“Why haven’t you ate today?” Rudy inquired, his eyes full of worry.

“I’ve been on a plane for hours, I didn’t exactly want airport food.” I informed, rolling my eyes.

“You shouldn’t do that babe, how are you not sick?” he questioned. Everyone’s eyes widened when he said ‘babe’, my cheeks flushed.

“Stop lecturing me Ru,” I huffed.

==================================

“I’ve never seen her act like that before...” Maddie B confessed. We were sat in my room as everyone else departed to get ready for dinner.

“I thought you said she had a thing for Drew?” I said confusedly.

“The past few times we have all hung out together, they seemed more than friendly.” Maddie B declared, shrugging her shoulders.

“No matter, it’s not like there’s any competition.” I sighed, finishing up my makeup.

“You right because that boy is GONE for you!” she cheered.

“No Mads, because she is the Instagram photographer and I’m the DUFF of our friend group.” I rolled my eyes.

“Excuse you, but if anyone is the DUFF it’s Chase. Look at his hair y/n.” she scoffed. A knock on the door startled the both of us, Rudy poked his head in.

“Sorry to interrupt ladies, but we are all starving to death.” he stated, his eyes looking between us.

===================================

Dinner was super awkward, starting with when we went to sit down. I stayed behind to let everyone else pick their seats first, leaving Elaine to rush to sit beside Rudy. He quirked a brow at her, obviously confused why she wanted to sit by him so bad. Rudy patted the spot across from him, my cheeks blushing again as I sat down.

The conversations were hit and miss...anytime one of us tried to tell a story about the time we spent together, Elaine would interject about something her and Rudy did. She would subtly eye me, engaging my reaction. I felt so uncomfortable, that was until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Drew, my brother from another mother.

“Long time no see buddy!” he beamed. I rose up from my spot to hug him, ruffling his hair.

“I figured it was time to see what LA is all about, and as I’ve been told, my presence was long missed.” I teased, everyone laughed except Elaine.

Drew said hello to everyone, leaning to kiss Elaine’s cheek. I looked at Maddie B who was beside me, furrowing my brows in confusion. She shrugged her shoulders, waving as Austin joined our table. He leaned down to hug me, patting my head as he passed to take his seat. Rudy reached across the table to tap my hand, he smiled when I turned my attention to him.

“What are you getting? Do you want to share an appetizer with me?” he questioned.

“I’m really thinking of just getting chicken fingers, they look yummy.” I grinned. He gave me a ‘really’ look.

“Get whatever you want, you aren’t paying anyways.” he smirked, knowing this would rile me up.

“Rudy, no.” I groaned.

“No arguing, pick something that you really want babe.” he demanded.

“Wait are they dating?” I heard Drew whisper to Maddie C and Chase, not doing a very good job of not wanting me to hear.

“No, I wish they would though.” Maddie C replied.

The night got better, laughter filling the restaurant. It felt so good to be with my people again, my heart was full of joy. Rudy and Drew spent half our time shooting paper spit balls at each other, one even accidentally hitting Austin square in the face.

“Who’s up for clubbing tonight?!” Drew asked, earning cheers from a few of us.

“I don’t know if I’ll make it, I’m seriously jet lagged.” I yawned.

“Come on y/n, once you get a few shots in you’ll be good to go!” he insisted.

“I’ll take you back to the house if you really don’t want to go.” Rudy offered.

“Please y/n!” Maddie C begged, Maddie B joining in as well.

I looked at Rudy who just smiled at me, waiting for my response. I made a split second decision without really thinking about it.

“Ok, I’ll go.” I sighed.

What am I getting myself into?

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realisticallystan · 3 years

Text

I Can’t Leave Them -- JATP x Reader

Warnings: contains death(s), angst, major depression ++ JUST SAD OK, slightly unedited but can probably do a rewrite a week or two after I posted this.

Song I listened to while writing:

- Beginning of the End Movement V (The Newton Brothers) + used for death scene

- Somewhere Only We Know (slowed)

(A/N: Idk why I wrote this but it felt really cathartic and it’s how I imagine it would be if someone was friends with them or anything and had to be there when they died... apologies cause this sh*t is sad)

She woke up in a start, heart racing as she fought to catch her breath. Her eyes closed as she held a hand to her chest, feeling the quick beat under the soft skin there, moist with sweat.

“Not that night…” She whispered softly, shaking her head gently. She couldn’t help the frustration she felt with herself, for letting herself think she could sleep a single night without going back to that day.

As her eyes opened, she felt the tear gently weld up in the corners, moments away from dropping. The cause being the harsh remembrance that he was gone. Her person who made her feel so peaceful, so present and undeniably content in her day to day. She often wished she could have him be here, to hold her through the grief, the grief of losing him, but that was impossible.

She knew it was.

Yet she hoped she could see him, feel him, even smell his woodsy scent; riddled with hints of pine and oak. She never really could figure out how he had always used to smell so enticing, but he always was surprising her.

Even till the last couple of minutes before… he was gone.

She sucked in a breath, curling her legs up to her chest and letting her hands rest on her knees. She could still see it so vividly.

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Y/N stopped outside of the studio, feeling the gentle, warm breeze kiss her skin as she listened to the boys all chattering loudly over each other from inside. They were laughing heartily and she could make out a small thud before the double doors swung open just enough for one boy to walk out. Her eyes quickly met his blue ones as he stopped outside and let the doors close behind him. She produced a small wave as he moved slowly to lean back against the now closed doors, taking in her appearance of some comfortable mom jeans, sneakers, and a black Sunset Curve t-shirt. She by all means looked ordinary, but the way he looked at her made her feel like she was everything and more.

“Hey gorgeous, how you doin?”

He had nodded at her in greeting, and it made Y/N try to fight back her smile, her lips itching to form a goofy smile that only he could give her. She never could fight her smile with him. He had this effect on everyone, and never failed to charm the people around him.

“Just dandy Lucas.” She teased with a small smirk, looking at the boy who practically bounced his way over to her as he walked. He was radiating so much energy, since today was their biggest day in their whole lives. It was their time to shine.

He neared her quickly and stopped about an arm’s length away, frowning at her with crinkled eyebrows.

“Hey, hey!” Luke pouted, shaking his arms in rejection. “I refuse to be called that and you know that, you she-devil.”

This had made Y/N scoff, jokingly of course, never once had the guitarist ever truly upset her .

“If you weren’t performing a major, life-changing gig tonight,” She raised her eyebrows and pointed at him. “I would not hesitate to punch you.”

“Aw,” He grinned cheekily, swooping down to press a soft kiss to her cheek.

“You do care.”

Now, that did draw an eye roll from Y/N, and she found herself heading towards the house to get a water bottle before going to watch them rehearse. She had heard his jogging steps as he came up beside her and walked with his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders as he followed her lead to the house. As they did this, she felt glad to be in this moment, it felt so human, and right.

It felt like she could live in this feeling forever.

He was as loyal and true as he could be, he owned it even. Y/N wished she could just live as freely as he did but how could she, she was not as confident as him, but oh how he brought out the very best in her. So she was told by all her friends, the boys, and her parents.

“What is on that busy mind of yours?” He questioned, hitching himself onto the counter as he took in the oddly empty house. It never was quiet around here, but nobody minded. It was always something that felt natural to them.

She could go on for days how grateful she was for them being supportive and even letting them store water in their fridge for days like this. Rehearsals before the big moment.

The Orpheum.

“Tonight is going to change our lives!” She explained with amazement, in almost disbelief that this was really happening to them. She loved every boy as her own family, but with Luke… that was something everyone knew was different. Everyone knew that they were meant for each other.

“You are all so amazing Luke,” She finally placed all of the water bottles on the counter, deciding to grab one for all of them. “You deserve this, and… I love you.” She hesitated, but let it flow. It felt right, natural even, so who was she to stop it.

“You love me?” He smiled, sliding off the counter and slowly coming up to her. Y/N thanked the stars that the homeowners were away for the week, heart thudding against her chest. She felt his calloused hands grab hers, letting his forehead come down to rest against her own.

“So much,” She laughed breathily, causing him to chuckle too.

“I love you too,” Luke whispered. “All I want to do is see that gorgeous smile each day and make you laugh, at least once. That is my mission.” He spoke with admiration, making her feel like she was completely his.

And she was.

Luke brushed his lips against hers before capturing them in a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back gently, projecting all the love she could into it. He grinned and deepened the kiss, not hesitating to make her feel all the love he felt for her.

“As nice as this is,” Y/N pulled away softly, causing Luke to try and chase her lips with his, but she giggled and moved back. “We need to prepare for the Orpheum, it’s in a couple hours so we should really--”

“-Get going,” He raised an eyebrow at her knowingly. “It’s all good, I hear you.” He poked at her, moving to grab most of the waters she left out on the counter. She was thankful he did that, because Y/N knew she would drop them if she even attempted to do that on her own.

“Yes, exactly, rockstar. You catch on quick.” She praised with an amused tone, grabbing the last bottles as they walked out of the kitchen side by side, continuing to chat about their setlist.

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They had just finished their soundcheck, and it was one of the best times they had played, by far. She noticed how they all were just full of energy and it had to be the excitement of the show. Y/N was watching from near the bar and while singing, Luke managed to catch her eye and wink gently at her.

Yet now, Y/N suddenly felt fear as the guys finished chatting on stage and came down, heading directly towards her. She managed to catch the mischievous glint in their eyes before they nodded all in agreement, suddenly running towards her with determination. Y/N shrieked and slid off her barstool, stumbling a bit, which would cause them to catch her almost instantly.

“Ew.. ew, you guys are all completely sweaty!” Y/N squealed, hoping to hurry by the four rowdy boys and away from their outstretched arms, but she found no such luck.

She groaned in mild disgust at feeling their sticky skin press against hers, but ultimately she gave in, letting them smush her in the middle of their group hug. While it was not her favorite hug from the boys, she couldn’t help but happily sigh internally at how nice it felt.

“You guys killed that!” Y/N clapped as they pulled back and gave her some room.

“Right?” Reggie grinned, running a hand through his hair for adjustment. “I was worried I would trip over the wires and fall into Luke but it worked out in the end.” He spoke with animation and relief, causing Y/N to pat his arm, smiling at him.

“Good job hun.”

Reggie pouted at the nickname, feeling as if he was a child she assumed. She tended to mother him sometimes but he never complained and she knew the raven-haired boy enjoyed her presence just as much as the guys’ at gigs. Y/N had known him since around kindergarten and they grew up as best friends, they were quite an odd pair she was told. He had so much confidence and was always running around, eyes full of wonder as he always found something to enjoy. While Y/N was definitely a little bit sensitive; she loved endlessly, was sarcastic and was very funny too, always making the boys smile somehow. When they first met, Reggie had seen the girl get shoved by another kid, she had fallen and had let a small tear run down her cheek in embarrassment. It wasn’t until a hand came into her view that she looked up and saw him, there with a smile and she felt safe. He was basically her brother and she had felt it since that day. If he made her feel safe, she vowed she would do the same for him.

“You know what I mean.” Y/N nudged her shoulder against his, a knowing smile drawn on his pale face. Their inside jokes just coming straight to both minds, no doubt.

“Yeah yeah” He teased, when the guys suddenly turned in Y/N’s direction, multiple sets of eyes falling onto her form

“Y/N,” Luke spoke first. “Odds you want to come get street dogs with us?

“Yeah, please do.” Alex chimed in.

“Bobby is chickening out.” He finished with a pointed stare at the mentioned boy.

You know he was kidding but his expression did seem to hold some truth behind the annoyance. It is important for bands to bond and really get along with each other, so you could see his side.

“Shut up..” Bobby grumbled in denial, causing them all to laugh as he walked up to one of the workers, clearly trying to flirt with the pretty girl with beautiful dark skin and an enchanting smile.

Y/N could see his reasoning for being enamored, she was a truly gorgeous girl, but boy did he not have a chance. He was not good with the flirting, and she had seen him try many different times, all of which had not succeeded.

Goodluck dude, she thought and shook her head as he continued his escapade.

“Well,” Y/N clapped her hands together. “I kind of ate dinner on the way here but I do not want to watch that fall apart, so I’ll just tag along.” She shrugged, watching Luke slip his warm layers on in preparation for the damp alleyway.

“Can’t say no to that.” Alex shrugged and led the way, the rest of the group following after him. Y/N had easily slipped her fingers in between Luke’s and they walked hand in hand with the boys. She could feel his hand squeeze hers ever so gently, causing her heart to skip in her chest.

This boy… I swear. She thought, fighting back her smile and shaking her head.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you think I should tell him I spilt pickle juice on his cables?” Alex questioned quietly, looking Y/N in the eyes with silent guilt. She raised a hand to cover her mouth as she shook with laughter, the sound muffled by her hand thankfully.

She took a deep breath and glanced back at the man grilling.

“It’s kind of his fault for serving them out of the back of his car.” Y/N pointed out, shrugging at the small mess Alex made. It did not seem like a big deal really, it would dry.

He sighed and shook his head at you. This was not the first time Y/N had claimed someone got what they deserve and he usually was at the end of it, dealing with the little pranks the rest of the group pulled. Sure, they were also targeted against others, but Alex was always the favorite. This was simply because he tended to have the best reactions and it would make the prank all the better by the end.

That being said, even though she teased Alex, Y/N knew she could count on him for anything. She was nervous earlier in the kitchen, and hours later she still found herself feeling like something was off, something felt wrong. She was not one to say that she felt like something bad was going to happen, but she was anxious for sure. Y/N had just hoped this night would go smoothly, and follow the general plan she had created in her mind.

Perform.

Be Signed.

Party.

And lastly, become legends.

That’s what she had hoped for her boys.

“Uhm, Alex, ” She addressed him, walking beside him as they walked to the seating area. Luke and Reggie ahead of them and both laughing loudly about something the other said.

Alex stopped and looked down at her, being the one with the most height advantage in comparison to you. He could see this look in her eyes, one he knew he felt quite often. She was feeling anxious.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on.” He asked quietly, glancing back at the boys and seeing that they were still occupied. He knows how they sometimes miss signals, so he was glad to see that they were busy and are not likely to insert themselves into the conversation. It was clearly private from the way they had their backs to the boys.

“I’m not even performing... and I feel so nervous.” She confided, she was peering up at him, trying to keep her composure.

“Just a weird feeling in my stomach about something, I suppose.”

Alex used his free hand to reach out and rest on her shoulder, the weight of it being oddly comforting to her. She felt some tension leave her body as Alex, the boy who always seemed a bit anxious, reassured her with ease.

“It’s okay to be nervous you know,” He chuckled, catching her eyes and she noticed that they showed no signs of lying, and that is how it’s always been. He can trust Y/N, and Y/N trusts him, so he would tell her just about anything.

“We are so close to performing. You just want us to succeed. That can be nerve-wracking, especially since you support us more than anyone.” He smiled, pulling his hand off of her shoulder, but making sure to give a comforting squeeze before that.

Y/N always appreciated Alex’s listening, he always paid attention. He always made sure everyone was okay, and never misses a sign of distress.

“Now, come sit with us on this dirty couch while we eat these hot dogs, okay?” He nodded his head in the direction where the other two sat, the pair looking over at the two and waving them over. She knew he was right, because Alex was never generally wrong, but also because the instant she saw the other two boys she felt her chest ease up. It was like it felt easier to breathe.

Y/N smiled in agreement, nodding before walking with Alex to the seats. Y/N had sat between Luke and Alex, all four of them managing to fit onto the beaten down couch with some ease. Reggie leaned forward, looked around Luke and at Y/N happily, his hands cradling the hot tub in his hands.

“What were you guys chatting about?”

“Eh girl stuff, and since Alex is the only one with a sister, he is my only viable option.” Y/N shrugged, lying seamlessly. Alex smiled widely and nodded in agreement, managing to make it seem natural. He was never the best liar, even more so around the band since they all spend so much time together… they really get to know little things, like who is a bad liar.

At this moment, Alex didn’t see the point in lying but he also figured that there was no reason to expose the real conversation between him and Y/N so he just followed her lead.

“Okay, well now that that’s sorted.” Luke rolled his eyes playfully, Y/N bumping his side with her own at his remark. “We can really soak in the moments before we make it big.”

Y/N had sat on the musty old couch, watching Luke talk with this passion in his eyes. His hoodie was drawn over most of his soft, brown hair. She could not recall just how many times she had run her fingers through the dark locks, and would mostly do it to see Luke slowly fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

“This is awesome you guys.” Luke gnawed at his bottom lip, shaking his head in disbelief, but anyone could see the happiness he felt as he really absorbed the atmosphere and situation. The boys were also following along, hotdogs forgotten as they listened to the boy who never failed to shine, spoke with so much pride about them finally making it.

“We’re playing the Orpheum!” He beamed, Y/N’s breath had caught in her throat at just how purely happy and carefree he was, how they all were in that moment. “I can’t even count how many bands have played here, and ended up being huge.”

Luke took a second to really glance at all his friends that were present. With Y/N smushed into his side, he could feel her pressed against him and she was almost sure he could feel heartbeat skip when she just watched him look around. He then made eye contact with the two boys on either of his sides and Y/N did not miss the look he shared, the one of true brotherhood and love. He was glad that if he was going to be doing this, that it would be with them.

“We’re gonna be legends.” He breathed out, suddenly catching Y/N’s eyes as he smiled brightly down at her. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips, causing her to giggle quietly. She could feel the gentle pressure of his lips against hers still and she loved it.

“Ew.” Alex winced, looking at them, but was clearly only saying this to tease the two lovebirds.

“Shut up.” Y/N rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs, she didn’t use very much force behind it so he could just lean away and Alex had then poked her in the rib for payback. She hated being tickled so she was glad it was only a single poke to the side.

“Hotdogs up boys.” Luke intercepted, all of the group remembering that they had been in the middle of something. “After tonight… everything changes.”

The three boys all held their hotdogs up, and Y/N had to lean back a little to not be in Alex’s arm path. They tapped their hot dogs together in toast before each one took a huge bite. Y/N had not missed the confusion in each of their eyes, the chews slowing down for each of them as they glanced at the hotdogs in their hands.

“Uhm,” Alex spoke through a full mouth, causing Y/N to grimace a little from the sight of it. “That’s a new flavor?”

“Oh chill man, street dog’s haven't killed us yet.” Reggie had countered, taking another small bite. She knew he could be a little clueless sometimes so she glanced over at Luke to gauge his reaction, and he seemed to have an uncomfortable look on his face. Y/N frowned a little when she noticed and grabbed his wrist that held the hotdog.

“Hey babe,” She spoke up softly. “You don’t have to keep eating that if it tastes weird. We can always grab a slice of pizza instead?”

Luke had sat there for a second, letting her hold his wrist for probably thirty seconds, before brushing it off as just a new type of meat being grilled. He smiled down at her and pulled her hand off, pressing a kiss to the back of it before letting go.

“Already got this guy right here,” He pointed out before taking another generous bite of it. Y/N snorted and shook her head before leaning her head on his shoulder. The boys all chatted between bites, and she would laugh at the jokes being made.

She distantly recalled her thoughts from earlier, and she was right, indeed.

It felt like she could live in this feeling forever.

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Only...

It didn't last forever.

She didn’t know what happened, or why it was so fast, but it happened. It didn’t wait for her to be ready, didn’t even let her realize the situation. It was so sudden when Luke leaned forward in pain, groaning as he let the last bit of hot dog drop from his hand. Y/N watched in confusion before he slid off the couch and onto the floor, hunched over on his knees. The other boys were just as confused as Y/N and quickly went to move to his side before they too felt an ache. Something they were not used to at all. It felt so different than anything they had experienced in their lives. She would have asked what was wrong with them, but Luke crying out in pain stole her attention, voice breaking.

“Y/N, it hurts.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N gasped before beginning to panic, thus catching the attention of the patrons around her. Multiple people had turned their attention to the group, some even moving closer to see what was going on. There were concerned looks when people noticed a young boy on the floor and two others slowly hunching over.

“Luke!?’ She exclaimed with worry, falling to her knees beside the boy as he panted deeply, arms clutching his gut. He was sweating like crazy and his skin had gone pale, his hair was sticking to his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut in pain. She sucked in a shaky breath at his appearance, never seeing him without his tanned glow and warm skin. Yet, as she cupped his face and tried to get him to look at her, he felt somewhat cold, his body shivering a little underneath her touch.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong? Hey…” She pushed, begging him to speak to her. She could fix this, she could figure out something if he could just answer her.

He let his eyes flutter open to look at her, but he couldn’t speak as he took shallow breaths.

“Someone call 911!” Y/N shouted desperately, pulling her gaze away from him and looking at the people around them.

There were two people around Alex, who had collapsed when he tried to stand. They were helping him sit up and offered some water, but he was slowly starting to look just as bad as Luke was. He was able to talk but he had sounded nothing like he had moments ago.

“The…. food..” He breathed out heavily, pointing shakily at the discarded hotdogs along the floor.

“S-Something in them.” He whispered weakly, head lolling to the side onto someone’s side. It was frantic after that, people running to try and get rags, water, and some even had gone to flag down the two ambulances when they came. She distinctly remembered singling out the one person yelling that there were two coming. Since all three boys would not fit in one.

Y/N was crying, hyperventilating, as she tried to stay on top of this and stay strong for them. She glanced back at Reggie and he was crying, eyes closed as his lips moved but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. There were people just everywhere, and she wished she could be everywhere.

With each of her friends.

There wasn’t enough of her to be able to hold all three as they worsened with each moment.

“I-I… wan-..” Luke coughed, Y/N then leaned down and touched her head to his, feeling his hand weakly rest on her thigh.

“What is it baby?” She whispered, tears cascading down her rosy cheeks as she ran her thumbs across his cheeks. She did it so softly, as if she would hurt him more if she touched him the wrong way.

“I… wanna go.. h-home.” He managed, sniffling as his breathing slowed, and Y/N would be lying if she said she couldn’t begin to feel it. To see it.

The way his life was slowly going away, the breaths becoming shallower as he fought to stay with her. With his friends and family. She sobbed as he said that, nodding her head as she pressed a kiss to his forehead. Mind wandering to Emily, his mother, who she wanted more than anything for her to be here right now with her son. He was scared. He just wanted to go home, pretend this was a dream. So did she.

“We can do that, let’s do that.” Y/N choked out. “Let’s go home ok?”

“Okay.” He had barely nodded before collapsing, head thankfully being held up by her hands.

Her eyes widened in disbelief at this sudden movement. She then started to lower his head onto her lap, and quickly brushed some of the strands of wet hair out of his face before gently tapping his cheek.

No response.

“Luke?” Another tap.

There was no movement from Luke. He laid eerily still in her lap.

She had felt herself holding her breath. She waited for what felt like minutes before letting her hand slowly rest on his chest, directly above where his heart was.

She waited.

She waited for the familiar heart beat beneath her palm, but it never came.

His heart had stopped.

“No no no….NO!” She screamed, sobbing with quick breaths, wrapping her arms around his body and resting her head in his neck. Y/N would be damned if she let him go. She rocked him in her arms, not caring how heavy he was on her legs, she would take the pain if it meant he would just breathe.

“L-Luke, I love you so much, okay?” She whimpered out, before she had begun to sob again. “I-it’s... okay.”

This time, the sobs came out so harshly, that after two minutes a couple sets of gentle hands were pulling her arms off of him, and she would try to fight, but she couldn’t anymore. She had no strength left. She felt every part of her body screaming and crying along with her, her chest aching with a pain she would come to be familiar with. The kind women who helped Y/N up began to back her away from Luke, both gently consoling her to the best of their ability and asking her questions about their parents. She unlocked her phone, wordlessly handing it to one of them, not bothering to stop the stream of hot tears running down her cheeks. They stung her cheeks as they touched the irritated skin on her face.

But, she didn’t care how she looked... she could only feel.

And it was consuming her whole.

“Alex? Reggie?” She cried, eyes wandering over the three boys’ bodies as paramedics checked them. She was suffocating as she watched and her nose was dripping. Her eyes would be puffy for days after this but it didn't matter in the moment as she watched them finish checking the vitals and eyes.

“This one has a heartbeat,” One of them announced, calling more helpers over to load Reggie into the ambulance. She felt some relief, but there was no real way to tell how this would turn out.

Y/N glanced at the other who was with Alex, and saw that he was doing chest compressions, hoping to bring some life back into the boy she had known for years. The boy who was just telling her that it would be okay.

She watched as another paramedic immediately called for Luke’s death. Y/N let out a loud cry when the man had waved over a gurney for Luke’s body. She fought against the people holding her, attempting to run over and bring him back into her arms. She couldn’t leave him.

She wouldn’t.

“No stop, where are you taking him!” She protested with concern, breaking free and falling to her knees beside her boyfriend. She held his hand in hers, lips quivering when she noticed he couldn’t squeeze her hand anymore.

“We’re taking him to the hospital.” The paramedic spoke with sympathy, eyes taking in her appearance. She knew she looked like a complete mess but that meant nothing right now.

“You can ride in the ambulance, do you wanna come with him?” He gestured with a nod of his head towards Luke, who she couldn’t bear to fully look at right now. Not if she needed to think clearly.

“Or with the other two?” Y/N glanced over at Alex still hanging on in between but now placed on a gurney being moved towards the ambulance, with which Reggie was already loaded up inside.

They had a chance. Y/N knew she had to go, she couldn't leave her best friend alone. She had to be there for him. “We can come get you the minute you get there, if you want, and show you where he is.” The medic suggested quietly, seeing the wheels turning in Y/N’s mind. They were hoping to be some kind of voice in the midst of the fog of her mind right now, and she found herself hearing it.

“Okay.”

————————————-

Y/N glanced at the clock on her bedside table. She had a blurred recollection of the event, but it was still the worst night of her life. She knows no other event could top it. This was her trauma. Luke’s death had broken her, brought her down to her weakest and most grieved parts, but the ride in that ambulance was almost worse. If not tied.

They were six blocks away from the hospital when they stopped trying to resuscitate Alex.

If it weren’t for Reggie’s hand in hers, his pulse thudding weakly, she would have completely shut off. Y/N remembered how it felt like a complete joke, for one second, she thought this was some huge joke.

Then she remembered.

Luke.

His body, his… heart not beating.

No breaths.

No charming smile.

Just nothing left.

He was gone and she would never feel him, see him, or hear him again. Oh, how she wished she could hear him singing softly to her in bed, holding her close and brushing his fingertips across her arms. He would tell her these wild adventures that the boys went on together. All of them deserving the best and loving each other so much.

They were approximately one block away from the hospital when Reggie flatlined.

Y/N sat in the ambulance at the hospital, frozen in the seat with tears in her eyes. She stayed until it was empty, the medic bringing her mom and dad inside the vehicle to help her out. They were carefully helping her up and out and guiding her, both having an arm, to the car. The boys had been taken inside, stripped of belongings, and waiting for their parents to be collected at their homes and brought in to see them or identify them. She doesn’t really know what happened after she left, and she was glad she didn’t.

Y/N doesn’t remember much from that night.

Just the main portions that took place, but never the specific details. She has tried to shut that night out, maybe only focus on the last good memories spent with each one of them. It was hard, she just couldn’t forget that night.

She had tried.

She went to therapy, homeschooled for a little, and tried to date but she couldn’t. She tried to live and move on, but you can never truly move on, is what she found.

They were her family. She loved them ... so much.

Luke was scared, and was gone so fast.

Alex had tried his best for as long as he could.

Reggie was so close to being saved.

And Y/N ... she considered herself a ghost, just like them, because that's how she felt everyday after.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #julliemolina #reggie jatp #alex jatp #hotdog #jatp x reader #luke x reader #death scene #im sorry about this #lemmecryrealquick #why did i write this #thishurtsmyheart

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wonkasmissstarshine · 4 years

Text

The Chocolatier’s Rose {Willy Wonka x OC} Ch. 6

GIFs not mine. Credit go to owners.

Summary: It’s the day of the tour. Rose Bucket and Willy Wonka meet for the first time.

Tagging: @holdmeicant @willymywonkers

Here they were, Rose and Charlie Bucket, standing at the front gates of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, waiting to be let in. Rose had dressed extra special for the occasion. Under her jacket, she was wearing a black dress with a white collar. There were red roses outlined on the black of her dress. She wore a pair of flats to match. "Aren't you excited, Rosie?" Charlie asked, looking up at his sister.

Rose smiled down at him. "More than you can imagine, Charlie" She looked back the at the crowd, seeing Mr and Mrs Bucket, and Grandpa Joe, smiling at them. Mrs Mason even showed up. She stood with the Buckets and gave a grin.

Rose looked forwards again. She then began to wonder what exactly Mr. Wonka looked like. Would he be as handsome as she pictured him to be? Would he smell as good as his chocolate?

"Daddy!" Veruca Salt whined. "I want to go in!"

Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. Mr. Salt replied to his daughter, "It's nine fifty nine, sweetheart"

"Make time go faster!" Veruca demanded. Rose had to fight the urge to scream at the child she was stuck standing next to.

"Eyes on the prize, Violet" Rose overheard Mrs Beauregard tell her daughter. Of course, they were wearing matching outfits. "Eyes on the prize"

The gates opened and a voice came from the speakers. "Please, enter!" While everyone else was in a rush to be first, Rose and Charlie took their time. "Come forward!" Everyone moved forward until they were at the factory's entrance. "Close the gates!" The gates closed. "Dear visitors, it is my great pleasure to welcome you to my humble factory. And who am I? Well.."

The doors opened revealing a red curtain. Music began playing as the curtain was pulled back to reveal singing puppets. Rose smiled and began dancing to the song. The Gloops also danced along to it while everyone just stared.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

The Amazing Chocolatier

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

Everybody give a cheer!

He's modest, clever, and so smart,

He barely can restrain it.

With so much generosity,

There is no way to contain it

To contain it, to contain, to contain, to contain.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

He's the one that you're about to meet.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka

He's a genius who just can't be beat.

The magician and the chocolate 'wiz

The best darn guy who ever lived

Willy Wonka here he is!

A chair rose out of the floor, but it was empty. The pyrotechnics from the musical number caused the puppets to start melting. Everyone just stood in complete silence until someone started clapping and laughing. Everyone looked at the man who was now standing by Mr. Salt.

"Wasn't that just magnificent?" the man asked. Rose couldn't help but smile. She knew that this had to be Willy Wonka. "I was worried it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but then that finale. Wow!"

The man walked up the steps and turned to stare at everyone. "Who are you?" Violet asked.

"He's Willy Wonka" Rose said, in an almost dreamy tone. Sure, she pictured him to be handsome, but he was more beautiful than she could have imagined. And she already loved his quirky personality.

"Really?" Charlie asked, a smile on his face.

"Good morning, starshine! The earth says hello!" Willy greeted. Everyone stared at him like he was nuts, but Rose giggled, obviously amused by the man. Willy looked at her, and smiled a little bit. He was glad someone liked his greeting. He reached into his jacket and pulled out some cards. "Dear guests, greetings! Welcome to the factory. I shake you warmly by the hand" He extended his hand out for someone to shake it, but no one was stepping forward. That is, until Rose did. She could tell that he wasn't used to social interaction, so she wanted to be polite and try to make the situation a bit more comfortable for him.

She grabbed his hand and shook it, flashing him a smile. "It's very nice to meet you!" She whispered to him, before stepping back to stand beside Charlie again.

Willy just simply stared at her. He was already taken away with her. Not only was she the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen before, but she was kind and there was this warmth he felt when his gloved hand touched hers. He glanced back down at his cards when he felt he had been staring too long. "My name is Willy Wonka!"

Veruca pointed at the chair. "Then shouldn't you be up there?"

"Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now could I little girl?" This made Rose giggle yet again. Her angelic laugh was like music to Willy's ears. He couldn't help but smile at her again.

Charlie was quick to notice the silent interaction between his sister and the chocolatier. He may have been young, but he wasn't blind to notice when two people were already in love.

"Let's get a move on, kids!" Willy urged. Everyone followed him into the factory.

"Don't you want to know our names?" Augustus asked.

"Can't imagine how it would matter" Willy replied. "Come quickly. Far too much to see" He led everyone to a long room with a long red carpet, pale grey walls and bright lights. "Just drop your coats anywhere" Willy shed his coat, dropping it on the ground, and he took off his sunglasses as well, dropping them on top of his coat.

Rose gasped quietly when she saw his eyes. She had never seen violet eyes before. She had a better look at him now that they were under some light. His skin was so pale, due to the lack of sunlight from living in the factory for so long, and not one strand of his chocolate brown hair was out of place.

Everyone else opted to hang their coats on the posts of the velvet rope that was in the room. Rose glanced over at Willy to see him staring at her again. She blushed and looked down at the ground.

"Mr. Wonka, sure is toasty in here" Mr. Teavee commented.

"What?" Willy said, breaking out of his stare. "Oh, yeah. I have to keep it warm in here because my workers are used to an extremely hot climate. They just can't stand the cold" He explained.

"Who are the workers?" Charlie asked curiously.

"All in good time" Willy told him. He began leading the way down the hall. "Now..." Suddenly, Violet hugged him causing Willy to gasp.

"Mr. Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregard!" The girl smiled at him as she obnoxiously chewed on her gum. Rose rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long day with Violet's gum smacking.

"Oh" Willy glanced down at the girl and then muttered, "I don't care"

"Well, you should care, because I'm the girl that's gonna win the special prize at the end" Violet said with overconfident grin on her face.

"Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key" Willy said. Violet grinned up at her mother. Mrs. Beauregard gave an approving nod.

Willy gasped yet again when Veruca stepped in front of him. She had a big smile on her face. "I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir" She then curtsied.

"I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha!" Veruca glared at Willy, but Rose giggled again. Willy smiled at the sound. But that smile was quickly gone when Augustus stepped between him and Veruca.

"I'm Augustus Gloop" The gluttonous boy introduced himself, before taking a bite of the chocolate bar he had with him. "I love your chocolate!"

Willy eyed the boy up and down. "I can see that! So do I. I never expected to have so much in common" Before he took another step forward, he turned around and looked at Mike. "You. You're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who broke the system" Then he looked at Charlie, but a genuine smile seemed to appear on Willy's face. "And you, you're just lucky to be here, aren't you?" He looked up at everyone else. "And the rest of you must be their p...p..."

Willy was struggling to say the word. To Rose, it looked like he was going to vomit trying to say it. "Parents" Mr. Salt finished for him.

"Yeah! Moms and dads!" Willy smiled but it quickly dropped when he looked off into space and muttered, "Dad? Papa?"

"Actually," Rose's voice pulled Willy back into reality. "I'm Charlie's older sister, Rose"

"Rose" Willy quietly repeated her name, a smile forming as the word left his lips. "Like the flower"

"Exactly" Rose nodded.

The two of them stared at each other for a moment. Everyone stared awkwardly at them, except for Charlie and Mrs. Beauregard. Charlie smiled at them, looking between the two. Mrs. Beauregard kept a jealous glare on Rose.

"Shall we?" Willy said, addressing everyone though his eyes were kept on Rose. He finally peeled his eyes away from her to lead everyone down the hall.

"Is it just me or does Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?" Mr Teavee had asked Mr. Salt.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak American" Mr. Salt replied.

Augustus walked up to Charlie. Rose watched the two of them carefully. Maybe the Gloop boy wouldn't be as bad as she thought. Maybe Charlie would make a friend with him. "Would you like some chocolate?" Augustus asked Charlie.

"Sure" Charlie nodded.

"Then you should have brought some!" Augustus teased before taking a bite out of the chocolate. Rose glared daggers at the boy.

Violet and Veruca looked at each other. "Let's be friends!" Veruca suggested, with an obviously fake smile.

"Best friends!" Violet said, the same smile plastered on her face. The two girls linked arms and their smiles quickly dropped.

Charlie grabbed Rose's hand and gently pulled on it. "Yes, Charlie?" She asked her curious brother.

"I think Mr. Wonka likes you" Charlie concluded.

A deep blush appeared on Rose's cheeks. "Charlie, he just met me. He couldn't possibly like me already"

"But he keeps staring at you and smiling at you" The next words that came out of Charlie's words surprised Rose to say the least. "Do you believe at love at first sight?"

"Of course I do, Charlie, but I also believe you should get to know the person before you decide to spend the rest of your life with them. That way you're sure that you absolutely do love them" When Rose said that last part, a train of guilt passed right through her. She stopped walking and stared off into space, much like Willy had done moments earlier.

"Rosie, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Charlie" Rose assured him when she was back into reality. "Let's just enjoy our day, alright?" She ran a hand through his hair. They finally reached the end of the hallway.

"An important room this," Willy explained. Rose noted something odd about the door. It was so small that a mouse was the only thing that could get through it. "After all, it is a chocolate factory"

"Then why is the door so small?" Mike questioned.

"It's to keep all the great big chocolatey flavour inside!" Willy answered him, and then laughed. He crouched down to unlock the door with his key. He then stood back up and pushed the bigger door open with the palm of his hand.

The view that appeared before Rose was only the kind of thing you'd see in your dreams. But here it was in front of her.

#willy wonka x oc #willy wonka x reader #willy wonka #rose bucket #my oc #rose and willy #the chocolatier's rose

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mm2305 · 3 years

Text

The anniversary

Fandom : Lucifer (tv series)

Warnings / words : none this is pure fluff / 2.1 k

Pairings : Lucifer Morningstar x Chloe Decker

Disclaimer : none of these characters are mine ,rights to the rightful owners

Description : After Lucifer's return from Hell, Chloe has made preparations for their six month anniversary as a couple.

Author’s note : Hello everyone! I wrote and posted this back in June but I just realised I only posted the link to the ao3 and never the fic itself! Better late than never right? English is not my first language so please be kind. Also a big thank you to my amazing beta @forever5hines / @tossacointoyourmorningstar .

Enjoy!

--------------------------------

It's funny how life turns out, isn't it? If someone had told Chloe 4 years ago that she would fall in love with that jerk, Lucifer Morningstar, she would have laughed in their faces. But here she is, shopping for their six month anniversary.

There were several obstacles in their way. The more they worked together, the more Chloe liked him. He had adopted the character of a playboy, a diva, but it wasn't exactly who he was. He was all these, but he was also smart, honest, respectful and supportive. He had a softer side which he chose to hide, in order not to get hurt. The only one who broke through his facade, was her. From then on, he did everything in his power to keep her safe. Dealt with Malcolm, his mom, his brother, Cain, went to Hell twice to save her.

When she learned the truth though,she ran and conspired with Kinley, tried to poison him. Betrayed him. Abandoned him. Even though they continued to work together after a while, nothing was the same anymore. She realized that she was in love with him and as time went by, she accepted him too. All his sides. The good, the bad and the crispy.

He had to leave though. That night at the balcony she finally told him she loved him. Even though she begged him to stay, he left. It was partly her fault, because she brought Kinley to Los Angeles. Kinley then brought the demons up to Earth. She understood why he left. The demons had to be contained. And only Lucifer could do that.

Six months later, he came back, putting an end to both his and her misery. From then on, they began talking about their feelings and visited Linda a few times. In the end though, they decided to get into a relationship.

They were happier than ever before. Worked together, spent lots of time with each other, had dates. Of course, they had their problems too. Lucifer was still struggling to believe that there were people in his life who loved and appreciated him. To him, it seemed like a good dream, that's bound to end very soon. Chloe reassured him many times,but the feeling remained rooted deep in his heart. Chloe, on the other hand, was dealing with her own guilt. She tried to poison and hurt him. She wondered, even now, why the hell she tried to do that. What she also wondered, was if she was good enough for him. Chloe Decker, a human, a nobody , good enough for the Devil? The Lightbringer? They both had to work on their feelings, that's for sure.

At the moment, she is at a mall with Ella. It's their six month anniversary the next day and she had prepared a dinner at LUX for herself and Lucifer. For this reason, she wanted to get a new dress. Maze was babysitting Trixie and Linda had a therapy session scheduled for a patient. Only Ella was available. The problem is that they've been searching for hours and they've got nothing so far.

"Come on girl, tell me how's the relationship with the Devil going?", Ella inquired.

"It's been good. More than good, actually. He makes me very happy.", she replied smiling.

"I can see that. You're glowing Chloe. He is too. I've told you that I ship Deckerstar, haven't I?"

" Yes Ella. Many, many, many times. Anyway, I'm telling you, if we don't find anything in the next 30 minutes, then I'm going to wear one of my own dresses. It's been 3 hours and we haven't found anything! " she complained pouting just a little.

" Oh shut up Decker. Look I found this. It's beautiful, isn't it? "

" Mmm… I'll try it. In fact that's the last I'm trying. Then I'm going home. " she said taking the dress from Ella.

When she came out Ella gasped in awe.

" Oh my God! You look gorgeous!", she commented shocked.

"Really? ", asked Chloe turning around to look at herself in the mirror.

Ella has excellent taste , she thought. No one could deny that. This satin dress was simple but elegant. Not too formal, but still perfect for her purpose. It had a color almost identical to her eyes. Icy-blue. The fabric soft and feeling wonderful on her skin. The dress hugged her figure but it wasn't clingy. It reached to just a little more than her knee. It really was perfect for her.

"I'm getting this.", she decided after a few moments.

***************

Lucifer loves speed. It makes him feel free and freedom and free will are things he has and will always stand up for. At the moment, he is racing through the highways of Los Angeles, in the comfort of his beloved, black Corvette,at high speed. The air landing on his face as he passes through the roads, the whole feeling of freedom, still seems incredible to him. That's one of the main reasons he bought a convertible. Something else he loves even more than this though, is his beloved Detective. Chloe. He's known her for years, and she wormed her way into his heart, since the first moment he met her. They've been through a lot. His mom, Cain, her leaving and coming back, and the most recent: him going back to Hell.

The night he left, when she told him she loved him, accepted him completely, he thought his heart would burst out of his chest. Seeing his Detective's tears and pleads for him to stay, broke his heart in a thousand little pieces. However he couldn't risk the safety of his friends and the family he had here. When the problems in Hell were resolved, he came back. Doctor Linda helped him a lot after that. Chloe too. For him it was much much more that six months down there. In the end though, they managed.

Tomorrow is their six month anniversary. He got her a ring. Not an engagement ring. A promise for the future. That he'll always be by her side no matter what. Love her, protect her. Anything she needs,anything she desires. The stone was the exact color of her lovely eyes. A favor called in here and there, helped him achieve his goal.

After a few more minutes going around, he set for LUX. He had a few matters to attend to and he was needed there. He'd meet his Detective tomorrow.

*******

When Chloe came back from her shopping spree (she ended up getting a pair of short-heeled shoes, in the same color as the dress), she was exhausted. After taking a quick shower and brushing her teeth, she proceeded to hog the bed, like someone once told her.

Chloe woke up with a smile the next day. Checked if things were going well, ate breakfast, spent some time with Trixie. Then she started getting ready. Followed her skin care routine - the results were amazing, soft skin and all -, showered and shaved thoroughly. Then she dried her hair and styled it into waves. Afterwards, she did her makeup. Simple, not heavy, in light colors. Lastly she put on her dress and shoes. I do look pretty good, she thought while looking at herself one last time at the mirror. She took Lucifer's present with her, too.

One of the very few things she had left from her father were his cufflinks. She wanted to give them to him. Not even Dan knew about their existence. She had gone to a jewelry store to get something extra etched on them. She added an 'M' in the outside and a 'C' on the inside. In this way she wanted him to understand, how much he meant to her. With the 'M' they would become his own , while with the 'C' she wanted him to have a part of her with him. Will he like them though?, she wondered anxiously. To her it was something important, but could that measure up to the person who created the stars? Come on Chloe, relax. It's going to be alright. With that she went out of her house, to get to LUX.

*************

Everything was ready. Lucifer's favorite dishes were ready to be served. The candles around, check. The DJ ready to play a special song for tonight, check. Comfortable, low lighting, check. Lucifer…check.

They both gasped at the sight of the other. Lucifer was wearing a black tuxedo, with a white shirt and a red handkerchief. He looked sharp and very handsome. Chloe was wearing her new dress, looking absolutely gorgeous.

"Darling, you look exquisite," said Lucifer with adoration.

"I could say the same for you too, Lucifer", replied Chloe with a radiant smile.

"How about we sit down babe?"

"Of course, my dear."

After sitting down and getting their food, they made a toast.

" To us. May this be the first anniversary of many more to come"

" To us, love." he replied with a clink of their wine glasses.

They talked about the future, laughed about Trixie's adventures at school and when they finished their dessert they went on to exchange their gifts.

"Lucifer,I didn't buy you anything… Instead, I wanted to give you something special.These are my dad's cufflinks. I added something though...On the outside you'll see an 'M' for 'Morningstar'. On the inside,however, there is a 'C' for 'Chloe'...I wanted I'd give you a "piece" of me through this to have with you… If you don't like it, it is possible to have it changed… I just wanted to give you something that is very important to me, because you are one of the most important people in my life and… "

"Chloe, darling, I love it. In fact, you have rendered me speechless. Thank you so much, my love. ", he interrupted her giving her a genuine smile.

"Do you really like it or are you saying that just to make me happy? I mean, this isn't some of the extravagant things you're used to and I don't know… Maybe you would like something else… ?",she asked him nervously,looking at her feet.

"Chloe, love, look at me.", Lucifer told her lifting her chin to look at her lovely eyes. "You know I don't lie, don't you? Then trust me when I say that this is the best gift I've ever received. I know just how much your dad's death hurt you and by giving me one of his belongings…You've made me so happy and grateful, my dear. So, you don't need to worry about that alright? "

" Okay ", she sighed.

"Now it's my turn," he announced opening the little, black, velvet box. Chloe gasped.

"It isn't an engagement ring. It's my promise to you. I want to promise you that I will always be by your side. Your friend, your partner, your boyfriend, whatever you desire. Protect you, cherish you, support you in everything you do. Anything. You are the light in my life and you've touched my heart in ways nobody ever has, in my long life. I want you to know I love you so much," he confessed while putting the ring on Chloe's finger.

" Oh Lucifer… I don't know what to say… Thank you, honey. I love you too, " she added hugging him.

"Dance with me? ", she asked him after a few moments.

"Anything for you, my darling. "

Chloe then signaled the DJ to put a very specific song on.

As they swayed, she whispered the lyrics to his ear.

"Do you feel my heart beating,

Do you understand

Do you feel the same

Am I only dreaming

Is this burning an eternal flame "

" Do you understand Lucifer? I love you with all my heart and I will always stand by your side, too. Always.", she whispered teary-eyed but looking straight into his eyes.

"Even if I am the Devil? Who has tortured countless souls in Hell? A monster, like many others think?"

" Even if you are the Devil,who did his job in Hell. The Devil, who has been through many things, but never gave up. The Devil who is loving, adorable, caring, good-hearted and dangerous only to those who hurt his friends and family. The Devil who is a perfect boyfriend and whom I love with all my heart. ", she replied tearfully.

" I love you too,my Detective. Let's continue dancing, love, shall we? ", he said kissing her sweetly.

And they did. The rest of the night was spent between the two of them. Lost in each other, their emotions, touches and kisses, they continued to sway on the dance floor. In their own, strange for some people, perfect for them, little world.

-------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!!!

#lucifer fanfiction #lucifer fandom #chloe x lucifer #lucifer #Lucifer Morningstar #fanfiction #chloe decker #Ella Lopez #deckerstar

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wooyoungqueen · 3 years

Text

Everyone we are almost to the end of this beautiful wonderful story. A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL WILL BE OVER SOON!!! And I want to say thank you everyone who reading i appreciate it also I can't be sad that this long book is almost over. In the beginning and look how far we made it through. And here it is the book cover of part 4

Part 4

Ch.36

Title: A deal with the devil

Warning: soft, emotional, smut.

Tagging: @rosegaming117 ,@spacepiratehongjoong @snailosaur @leaderienugie @immortal-imagination @truthhurts-atiny98

Today is the day I'm gonna be Mrs. Choi, when they were done putting my vail on I looked myself into my mirror and smiled until Julia came in her bridesmaid dress. Her belly is getting bigger by the minute and I'm glad she's here with me on this very special day. Well I'm glad everyone is here but most importantly my older sister, and I'm glad that she gave me her blessing. I was waiting for her blessing and finally this day I got it.

"Can't believe that, I'm getting married. Mom, your little daughter is getting married and I wish you were here as well." I smiled and bowed to the ladies who were leaving, I smiled at my wedding dress and my bouquet of red roses. "Hey, can I come in?" "Of course sis, close the door please.” She nodded and closed the door carefully then I hugged her tightly. “Thank you, thank you for giving me your blessing, big sister.” “Of course, Maria. I prefer you as a sister instead of forgive me to say her name but rather Kim Soojin. At least the Choi mansion is gonna be filled with light, and bright roses.” I hugged her carefully since she was pregnant and then smiled. “Your belly is getting big.” “Well, I am eating for two now. But I am glad wooyoung is with me on this, he and yeosang are getting the nursery room ready. They haven’t painted it because we are all waiting.” I smiled when Yeosang came in wearing a suit, for the first time ever and he was telling me. “San is taking my best friend away from me. But if he hurts you in any kind, don’t forget to tell me.” We both laughed at him flexing his muscles than I said to him. “I will tell you, Yeosang thank you for walking me down the aisle.” “Actually, I gave the job to your older brother, and I will be the ring carrier. Seonghwa is your older brother and a father to you Maria.” I hugged him and tried not to cry than Seonghwa came in. “Hey baby sis, guy’s do mind if I could say some words to my baby sister.” “Sure, come on Yeosang.” I saw my best friends leaving the room yeosang being a gentleman and helping her to walk than I looked at my brother. “Today is the day that my baby sister is growing up. I feel like a proud father. I kept my promise to mom that i would take care of you and I did.” “I love you big brother, and you're the best sibling that I ever have. Also I hope to god that you find someone who loves you, just for you.” We both stood there hugging each other as he pulled away and I locked my arm with his. “San, take good care of her. Please.” “Of course, Seonghwa and I will be together forever.” I smiled and then we prayed. “In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Amen. Children of god, today is a very special day for these two lovely souls. San and Maria, may i have the godparents of lace please.” We smiled when Yunho and Jongho place it around our necks and yeosang step forward with the wedding rings, and the priest blessed them, than Wooyoung and Julia step forward. For the coins to be blessed, after we said our i do’s. “I choi, San. take Maria to be my beloved wife, until love, and death tear us apart.” I smiled and then I took the ring and said. “I Park Maria, take Choi San to be my beloved husband. Until our love, and death tear us apart.” We both smiled and saw everyone smiled. Then the priest said. “If no one wants these two to get married, speak now or forever hold your peace. Then San you may kiss the bride.” When I felt his lips brushed against mine I felt heaven on earth, he grabbed my hand and went out of the church and saw everyone clapping, our friends that became our family.

When we reach to the party we sat in our chairs and saw everyone dancing. Than we both dance happily to our song, until he was humming along with it and i told him, how much I loved him with all my heart.

“San, my love. I love you so much. You don’t have an idea of how much I love you.” “Maria, I love you more, you're my other part. I can’t believe that we are a married couple now.” I kissed him passionately and then he took me to a room and locked the door and started to attack my neck. All I could do was to moan how his tongue was nibbling on my sweet spot then he lay me down in the bed and looked at him. “I want you to be my first, San. please claim me.” “Of course Mrs. Choi, you belong to me, and this body is mine only.” I smiled than he began to remove my wedding dress, and shoes. Than he pulled away to take off he’s jacket, he tied my hands together with his belt and I could tell that lust was full of eyes and stuck his ring finger and middle finger and started to thrusted. “You like that my princess, you like your king fucking you with his fingers.” “Y-yes my king~ your Queen loves it so much. Omg f-fuck yes.” He kissed my lips again and then felt his fingers going faster. “San, fuck me with your cock. Please my king~” “my pleaser, ugh my god my Queen your tight. Your walls are clinching on my dick.making me go deeper.” He thrusted and then I moved a bit since it was my first time then he removed the belt away and clawed his bare, well toned back. He pulled out when I was about to reach my high and I felt his tongue working with my pussy. Then pulled his hair to go even deeper at this point I clinched our bed sheets. Couldn’t deal with the pleasure anymore than I came all over his mouth and licked my juices then pushed himself in and began to thrust while holding my hips. “Fuck baby, your taking my cock very well. You like it when I fuck you from behind.” “yes my king~ i'm your Queen please make me cum again.” I moved my hips on my own and moaned his name. “San, please I can’t any longer.” “Look at yourself in the mirror, while i fuck you my Queen. Shit i’m gonna come in or out.” “Cum inside of me, fill me up with your cum.” He came while kissing my shoulder and he thrusted a bit then pulled out and lay down next to me. “I love you baby, my queen, my everything.” “I love ya more, I don’t want to go back to the party.” “Same here, but our guest.” I looked at him and said. “Let’s stay like this for a bit.” “Okay my queen.” I traced my fingers in his tone abs. And smiled when he went to bed a bit, and I did too. After our nap we got cleaned up, redo my hair and make-up and walked down to greet the guest. “Welcome, thank you all of you guys for joining us on this very special day. Enjoy the drinks, food and the music guys but i will make a toast to everyone especially to my family. And I like to call Julia and Wooyoung to sing for us. “Come on love. Easy steps.” “What song do you want us to sing?” I smiled and then said. “How about everytime we touch.” “You got it.” Everyone was cheering and started to dance, when they finished we all clapped. “Bravo! You guys were amazed, your voice’s perfect sync. Thank you so much guys.” We all dance and enjoyed the night and I gotta say this was the best wedding night that I have ever had. Also having the family picture of everyone.

#a deal with the devil #ateez #orginalcharaters #san #jung wooyoung

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saleintothe90s · 3 years

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422. ”Carrie” (May 12 - May 15 1988)

I adore reading about flops. One of my favorite flops to read about is Carrie the musical. A doomed production from the start. Millions of dollars wasted. Bad costumes. Filler songs.

Similar to my Simpsons season 10 review, I wanna give something to the worst aspects of the show. With Simpsons, bad episodes were awarded Marge’s homemade Pepsi. For Carrie, I think I’m going to give the bad parts the “Vending Machine Maxi Pad” award.

As most anybody who follows Broadway flops knows, clips from Carrie are scarce and are in poor condition on YouTube. Most of the actual clips are from when the show was in test productions in Stratford Upon Avon, but the music has been replaced with the Broadway soundboard. So, keep that in mind. Most of the time you can’t even make out what’s going on. Here’s the closest copy of the entire show I could find on YouTube, from the Sratford Upon Avon production.

I know people bash the musical, and sometimes it’s rightfully so, but two things are consistent: Linzi Hateley who played Carrie, and that orchestra that is on.point. Check out the overture.

(source)

The show begins with girls cheering in gym class in the beginning of an aerobics lesson? The white gym shorts look like diapers. That’s the first of many costume mistakes.

The song is a banger, I love Darlene Love playing the gym teacher, she’s my favorite part of the song. The only part that is cringey to me is when the girls sing “I go CrAzZyyyyy” and they get on the ground and dance like a toddler having a temper tantrum in a Toys R Us. Since the audio quality is so bad in these clips, I thought at one point the girls were singing about not being caught picking their nose, no, the lyric is:

Bought the clothes, did my nose,

Near the end of the song, the girls are on these rising rafters? It took me for-ever to realize that they were simulating a cheerleader pyramid, and that Carrie had snuck in near the end of the number to be on the bottom of the pyramid. Oh, and she causes it to fall and someone tells her to eat shit.

“Dream On” is the song that the girls sing while in the showers. Why yes, it does look like they’re in the nude due to the poor quality of the video. The song is ok, it gives total night driving home from the mall in the late 80s early 90s vibes. Although one girl says the line, “Six foot three and he's in his forties!”. WHAT.

Carrie breaks those vibes at around 3:44 by screaming that she’s bleeding. When Miss Gardener slaps Carrie, a cymbal plays. I love it.

I like to imagine that when the girls threw the tampons and pads at Carrie, some flew into the audience.

“Carrie” is shrill at first, and then it turns into a bit of snoozefest. Linzi sings the name “Carrie” about 458 times.

Betty Buckley who previously had played the original Grizabella in Cats. and who played the gym teacher in the original movie plays Carrie’s mom. Her song, “Open Your Heart” is pretty good. It’s a nice little break before mom goes bottoms up on Carrie for getting her period (”And Eve Was Weak” [Stratford version with Barbara Cook]):

Carrie: I was in the shower and...

Mom: You’re forbidden from showering with the other girls...

Carrie: I started to bleed!

While Carrie spends the rest of the night in a cellar, the popular girls are at the drive-in. Now, this musical cost over $7 million dollars 1, but yet this was the best set they could think of for a drive-in movie theater:

It looks like something out of a high school play -- which I guess makes a little sense since they are high schoolers? I’m grabbing at straws here. It cost so much money to put Carrie on, what’s a few more dollars to have two real hollowed out cars on stage, one with Chris (in the red) & Billy (in black) in it, and the other with Sue (pink leggings) and Tommy (purple windbreaker)?

“Don’t Waste the Moon” is the song sung at the drive-in, with Sue having regrets about throwing tampons at Carrie in the beginning of the song. The song is very 1980s, and it kind of doesn’t fit in the musical. Gene Anthony Ray’s (Billy) talent is wasted here.

It’s time for some “Evening Prayers” for Carrie where she discusses with God her new telekinesis powers. Meanwhile Carrie’s mom is being a worrywort. During the Stratford production, Carrie’s mom is in a rocking chair over there looking like Whistler’s Mother.

“You’re going to tell Carrie that you’re sorry!” belts out Miss Gardner. In the musical, Chris seems more obsessed with torturing Carrie than in the movie or book if that’s even possible. Sue is like, “What did she even do to you?”. Even Billy asked earlier, “Who the hell is Carrie White?”.

Oooof. Seeing the gym teacher try to cheer Carrie up by singing a song about the prom (”Unsuspecting Hearts”) and how she could go too is patronizing. Even if its sung by Darlene Love.

“Do Me a Favor” might be the most infamous song from the musical. It’s the song I see referred to the most when I read bad reviews. For some reason Chris is wearing a metallic red bodysuit and Sue is wearing a light pink bodysuit. Are they supposed to be that cliche devil and the angel on the shoulder thing?

Chris looks like Evil Homer!

I’m going be the unpopular opinion here and say that I love the song! The erratic dancing also fits with the song.

Carrie tells her mom before “I Remember How Those Boys Would Dance” that Tommy is sweet and polite, but the audience doesn’t know that. Tommy is barely a character in this production. In the end, Carrie uses her powers to shut her mama up.

From what I gather in “Out for Blood” (audio) where Chris and Billy go looking for a pig to kill, the chorus dancers are the pigs? The video quality is so poor. Chris had another crazy ass red outfit on, some sort of shiny red skirt and a crop top. The costumes in this are just horrible. It was like the wardrobe budget was $50.

This song is so.so.bad. It reminds me of whenever Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life would see a movie trailer or a parody of something on TV for some reason?! Or the “gotta get that Reptar song” from Rugrats when the kids saw Reptar on ice. Especially when the chorus tells Billy to kill the pig:

CHORUS Cha! Kill the pig, pig, pig! CHRIS Go! CHORUS Kill 'im, kill 'im, kill, kill! We'll make him bleed! CHRIS Go! CHORUS Get the blood, blood, blood Oooh, blood! CHRIS Oh, baby show... CHORUS Kill the pig, make 'im bleed Let's get the blood, that's all we need!

Sue’s song “It Hurts to be Strong” is a bit of a throw-away. It gets a vending machine maxi pad award. Moving on. It’s filler

In “I’m Not Alone”, Carrie sings while using her powers to move things around in her room. What things? I don’t know the video quality was so bad. That’s another thing! The sets are nonexistent! I wouldn’t know we were in Carrie’s room unless the Playbill told me. It’s another forgettable song. Three in a row!

Betty Buckley saves the day in, “When There’s No One”, a sad song about facing life without Carrie being her subordinate.

I don’t understand the prom dresses in “Wotta Night”, they’re all garish giant white numbers that make the actresses look about 20 pounds heaver. The guys look like that Rio doll from Jem. The costume designer couldn’t just go to Alexanders or A&S and buy prom dresses? You know, why am I even asking at this point. We all saw what Chris has been wearing this whole time. There is a disco ball thrown aside in the corner instead of hanging up. More on that later.

The song sounds way too much like that song “Rock on” by David Essex. Automatic Vending Machine Maxi Pad.

Here’s a cute rehearsal clip I found of “Heaven”, the song sung while the Prom Queen and King ballots are being counted. Unfortunately, the audio is bad. Chris is there to remind us that she’s still out for blood.

Finally, finally it’s time for Carrie the prom queen to get drenched with blood -- but the thing is, due to microphone technology back then, Carrie really couldn’t have blood dumped on her. Chris and Billy just run up to her and half ass pour the bucket at her. Could the set designer not suspend the bucket from above the stage? Is that also why the disco ball is thrown in the corner? I don’t even think she has stage blood on her during “The Destruction”, (which is the best song from the musical). I think a red spotlight over Carrie signifies the blood.

I think Linzi is really only truly covered in blood for press shots.

Anyway, the Destruction, I love it when she screeches “DOESN’T ANYBODY EVER GET IT RIGHT??! DOESN’T ANYBODY THINK THAT I HEAR?!” It’s the best. I could listen to it all day and I almost did the other day.

Due the poor video quality, I can’t really tell how the prom-goers are dying. They’re kinda just twitching there in the laser light or slamming themselves against the clear barrier that descended from the stage to signify Carrie closing the doors to the gym.

After Carie kills everybody, this giant white staircase descends and covers up the gym. I read somewhere, I forgot where, that its supposed to be the school stairs? We’re led to believe that Carrie’s crazy mom ran to the school. The first time I saw it, I thought that it was Carrie and her mom getting ready to go to heaven. I thought maybe someone over at the set department took the classic song too literally.

It appears that while the stairs are descending, Carrie smears stage blood on her.

The reprise of “Carrie’ is so much better than the original. Carrie stops her mom’s heart cold mid song. Then she slins down the stairs and Sue catches her. In an interview on playbill.com, Betty Buckley says that on opening night (I don’t know if she meant the first preview, or the official opening night), there were boos from the audience at the end, but cheers for Linzi and herself. I believe it. Betty and Linzi were amazing. Darlene Love was amazing. The rough scenes are the scenes with the school kids. They’re awful, in the words of my boy Jay Sherman, “they’re awful I tell you. aw.ful.”

(relevant prom .gif)

1. Rothstein, Mervyn. “After Seven Years And $7 Million, ‘Carrie’ Is a Kinetic Memory (Published 1988).” The New York Times, May 17, 1988, sec. Theater. https://www.nytimes.com/1988/05/17/theater/after-seven-years-and-7-million-carrie-is-a-kinetic-memory.html.

New York City Broadway reviews on the news in NYC for Carrie. That first reviewer, Stuart Klein, I love him. I’ve watched several of his reviews on flops on YouTube. Joel Sigel who was the Good Morning America film reviewer is here too.

Archive of Betty Buckley interview.

#carrie #carrie the musical #1988 #betty buckley #linzi hateley #charlotte d'amboise #broadway #musicals #broadway flops #flops #the 1980s

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ubernoxa · 4 years

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The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFiction

Chapter 33: Every Beauty

Masterlist

Story Summary: A stupid harmless dare, that’s all it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be something they would do, and never revisit. For Delilah, little did she know that visiting the strip wasn’t going to be a one time thing when she made the choice to accept the dare. Life is full of choices. Some choices can mean absolutely nothing, while others can change your entire world. Delilah had heard many rumors about the Sunset Strip or Devil’s Strip. Teenagers would whisper stories about how the Devil walks the streets of the strips without a care in the world. It was known as a place untouched by God. After years of hearing rumors about the Devil’s Strip, Delilah wants to see it for herself. Thus a Dare was born.

Chapter Summary: Betsie and Delilah’s exfiance encounter the magazine article. Mags, Stef, and Del put on masks to pretend everything is okay. Not because they want it to be okay, but because it has to be okay.

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @str4nge-haze @queen-crue

Beth leaned back on the sofa that was tucked away in a small room hidden in the church basement. This ‘hidden’ room was her solitude. At first she couldn’t step foot step foot in the room, too afraid of the memories of Delilah that would flood back. It felt like only yesterday that four friends hatched a dare in this very room. She shook her head trying to get the thought out.

It was such a stupid dare!

Why did she ever agree to it?

How could she had been so stupid?

Beth wondered how different things would have been if she told Delilah no. Would Delilah have even gone on the dare? Guilt flashed over Beth to the night she abandoned her former friend at the bar. Originally Beth though she was courageous for not going into the bar, but after weeks and weeks had flown by, she only saw herself as a wimp and horrible friend.

“Hey I though I would find you in here,” Mat’s words pulled her out of her deadly thoughts.

He felt his heart sink as he found Beth curled up in a ball alone in the haunted room. He had prayed day and night in search of a way to help fight the demons that lived inside of her head, but it was useless. It was clearly a battle she had to fight herself, but that wouldn’t stop him from sitting with her or cuddling her if needed. All he knew was that he needed to be there for her to clean the wreckage Delilah had left in her path.

“Hey,” her voice was week as he joined her on the couch. She was thinking about Delilah, no doubt about it. Part of him wondered how much Delilah had thought of Beth. Had she ever regretted leaving or thought of the chaos she had created?

Mat wrapped his arm around Beth and she quickly snuggled into him. He watched tears slowly form in her eyes and gently cascade down her face. Sadly this wasn’t new to him. This was almost a weekly occurrence, every Saturday like clock work. The tears would come and she would melt into him like wax over a hot flame.

“If I have to make another berry pie or hear another child scream about how they don’t want berry pie, I think I’m going to lose it. God won’t be able to save those little whiny brats from my wrath,” Mat pulled Beth in closer earning a laugh from her. A laugh he surely missed. The laugh that used to frequently fill the room.

“Your wrath? What are you going to do, read them the Bible?” Beth teased back causing their laughter to fill the right room again.

“Hey! My readings are great!”

“No! You couldn’t be more wrong! Have you ever heard of not reading in a lifeless monotone voice?” Beth pulled away pointing at him with her index finger.

“It’s not my fault I get stuck with all of the ‘boring’ Bible versus!” Mat quickly shot back regretting ever volunteering to read for the children.

“David versus Goliath is ONLY boring when you tell it,” Beth chuckled, finally gaining her composure and sitting up straight.

“What time is it?” Beth added, regretting the fact that she didn’t wear a watch.

“Almost 11...did you buy my a watch that way you didn’t have to wear one?”

“That’s a secret I’ll never tell!” Beth mocked before she left the room laughing.

Mat sat up and let out a deep sigh. It was good to see her laugh. Her laugh was more beautiful than any song he had ever listened to. He pulled out the small velvet box he had in his pocket. He sighed as he knew it wasn’t the right time. Maybe someday.

Beth began to collect plates from the picnic tables and place them in large tubs for cleaning.

“Ohh dear, you’ve been working all morning. Why don’t you enjoy a slice of pie,” Beth looked up to see Mat’s mother handing her a slice, not noticing the quick glance his mother made towards Beth’s own hand.

“I just had an hour break, I’m fine,” Beth sweetly replied continuing to wash dishes.

“Honey, relax. We have a couple children who need to serve detention, and will more than happy to chose the chore of washing dishes instead,” the woman replied.

“Thank you,” Beth smiled as she took the plate and headed in search of Mat to share the pie with. He had been cooking them all morning and she highly doubted that he was able to have a slice. Plus she owed him for cheering her up. She didn’t want to imagine where she would be if he wasn’t there for her the past couple months.

She twisted and turned through the church until she found him still in the basement. This time he was at one of the large tables entertaining the children. In a quick glance, Beth noticed he needed to be rescued.

“Hey, Mat! Want to share a piece of pie? I heard the guy who cooked it was mediocre, but it’s still food,” Mat smiles when he saw that Beth was still in a good mood. He quickly said goodbye to the children and one of the nuns took his spot.

“Sure, wanna join Mark?” Beth quickly asked earning a nod.

“No way that’s totally Delilah” the pair froze as they heard the familiar name. Beth sidestepped and headed for the table of girls that appeared to be holding a magazine. Mat chased after Beth hoping that this wouldn’t go to sour too quickly.

“Hey Beth,” one of the with eighth graders sent Beth a warm smile as she hid the contraband under the picnic table hoping Beth wouldn’t see it. Beth saw it, clear as day. Her and Delilah used to do the same thing when they were in middle school.

“Come on, hand it over and I won’t turn you in,” Beth flashed a sweet smile to the eight graders. After a couple of seconds one of them broke the silence, “Give it to her Mary, she would be the best to know if it’s Delilah anyway.”

Mary placed the magazine on the table and Beth’s eyes grew wide.

“Holy fucking shit,” were the only words that came out of Beth’s mouth as she stared at the article.

“Is that the Doof guy” Mat asked looking at the cover, Beth ignored his words too focused on her own thoughts as she quickly went to page 7 where the article was.

“Duff, it’s Duff,” Beth pointed at a picture of Delilah and Duff dancing captioned, ‘late night after a gig, Bassist Duff Mckagan shares a sweet moment of slow dancing with girlfriend Del to Aerosmith’s single, Home Tonight’.

“Duff is a stupid name,” Mat said under his breath earning a nod from Beth.

“So is Del,” Beth replied. Mat pulled the magazine away from Beth before she could continue reading, earning a quick protest.

“Mat give me the magazine”

“No Beth, we all know this magazine is filled with nothing more than gossip. It’s not true and we don’t need to read it,” Mat calmly replied.

“Fine, Fine. We will probably see her in another article in a month or two when she ends up pregnant like that Mags chick that was also mentioned in the article,” Beth shot back.

Before Mat could think the words, ‘how could this get any worse’. Mark grabbed the magazine from him and stared at his ex fiancé posing scandalously with Duff on the cover.

Today was defiantly not going to be the day he proposed to Beth.

Less than an hour south of the church, the article was causing a similar chaos.

“I’m not ready to have a child,” Mags said no louder than a whisper as Tonya, Stef, and Del sat with her in the locked bathroom.

“You’ll make a great mom,” Instead of three pairs of eyes, Del felt like there were thousands starring at her. Del quickly added that to the list of things not to say to a pregnant woman who clearly didn’t want to be pregnant.

“How much longer?”

“A minute, Mags,” Tonya checked the stopwatch she tightly held in her hands.

All four girls sat together in silence beyond cramped in the mold infested bathroom. The stop watch buzzed, and Mags dove for the prgnacy test that was sitting on the countertop, or what was left of the countertop.

Mags remained frozen as she looked at the plastic stick.

Positive.

She had already known that she was pregnant. This test was just for Steven, but it still struck her like a freight train.

“I’m gonna get you some honey tea for you Mags, would anyone else like anything,” Stef asked before standing up. She was quickly followed by Tonya who volunteered to help carry the tea for all four of them.

“Steven get out to the kitchen, if you ask me about the pregnancy I will pour this warm water in your face,” Tonya said before stepping over towards the cabinets trying to find some tea bags.

Stef stood across the kitchen as she watched Steven eyes the bedroom door. He looked like a banished puppy. A hopeless banished puppy.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” For the first time all day Stef talked to Steven, her hushed voice causing his heart to melt. She walked over towards him, and he immediately pulled her in for a hug.

“Yeah, I know Stef...but”

“Stevie, you are a good older brother to not only Mags but everyone in this entire apartment. You will be an amazing uncle,” Stef looked up to see absolute shock in Steven’s face. She hadn’t meant for the last bit to slip, but she couldn’t take the words back.

“She’s keeping it?” Stef shrugged as she went back to joining Tonya in the kitchen.

Back in the moldy bathroom, Del moved to sit next to Mags on the floor. Mags immediately melted in Del’s arms, and once the first tear fell, the rest cascaded like a waterfall.

“Please don’t look at me,” Mags mumbled as Delilah tucked Mags’ hair behind her ears.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to you to see me like this, I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Just fuckin’ leave,” Mags spat as she pulled away.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Del shrugged. It was clear that Mags needed someone, and there was absolutely no way in hell she was leaving Mags alone in her current state.

“Ohh so you just want to watch a fucking train wreck?” Mags snapped back, careful not to yell in worry that more people would come into the small bathroom. She estimated she had a couple more minutes before Tonya and Stef came back with warm tea.

“If I wanted to look at a train wreck, all I have to do is look in a mirror,” Del’s monotone response caught Mags off guard resulting in silence slipping into the bathroom.

“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be judging me or some shit like that?” Mags spat. To her she was shocked that Delilah wasn’t lecturing her about her sins or condemning her or quoting bible versus.

“I’m here because you’re more than just my friend. As weird as it might sound I consider you as my sister. Plus the Bible doesn’t teach us to judge one another, it teaches acceptance and love. The Bible is open to some interpretation, and sadly most people abuse that and use it a an excuse to justify condemning others. To be honest, I’ve never understood why. Granted I do care that you’re pregnant, but now how you think. I care because you’re going to be going through a lot whether you keep the child or not. I want to be there like you have been there for me,” Delilah’s voice was no louder than a mouse. Several minutes passed and a comfortable silence filled the bathroom.

“Everything has beauty,” Mags looked down at her stomach and placed her hand on it as she spoke.

“But not everyone sees every beauty,” Delilah finished the sentence as she placed her hand on top of Mag’s own.

“Come on, we should get moving,” Mags said as they headed out of the bathroom.

“You should tell your boyfriend his apartment is disgusting,” Tonya mumbled to Stef as she eventually gave up on looking for not only tea, but clean cups.

“He knows,” Stef sighed back. It was a battle she had lost several times.

They both froze as they saw Mags and Del slip into the bathroom, undetected by the guys who were now relaxing in the main room that had the shit couches in it.

“So we need to get out of here without getting noticed,” Del whispered to Stef and Tonya who quickly nodded.

“Mags and I are going to slip through the fire escape, but can you two distract the guys?” Stef was a bit put off by Del’s idea of sneaking out before she talked to Duff, but one look at Mags changed her mind.

“Yeah, we can ask about their gig tonight,” Tonya said dragging Stef towards the guys.

They went their separate was, and everything was going smoothly until Del felt someone grab her arm as she was about to climb through the window and onto fire escape.

“Where the fuck are you going,” Del turned to see the red hair that matched Axl’s voice.

“Trying to leave without causing further damage,” Del shot back, not in the mood to deal with him. They needed to leave ASAP, and he was preventing that. What was he going to do, hold her prisoner?

“Are you okay?”

Del looked at Axl’s hand which was still tightly holding her wrist. She knew that there was no way of overpowering him, and if she resisted she would only drag attention to herself.

“If I answer will you let go of me? I have to catch up to Mags who is probably waiting for me,” Del whispered earning a nod from the red head.

She took a deep breath before speaking, “No.”

Axl watched the brunette as her eyes began to water, he gently let go of her wrist causing her to sprint towards the fire escape.

Delilah sat in the living room that she shared with Tonya and Mags reading the article over and over. She couldn’t wrap her mind around why Drew would do this. He told her that he loved Mags. Love must have meant something different here on the strip. Her heart ached at the thought of all the times Duff had told her he loved her.

There was one paragraph that stuck in her head, and haunted her in her dreams. The one paragraph her mind had over analyzed hundreds of times over.

‘This relationship is doom to fail, no doubtz At first glance one might think the pair have found the infamous true love, but upon a second glance one’s opinion would change. It isn’t a love story like the ones in the movies. This is a story of a guy who has manipulated an innocent foolish girl to fall head over heals for him when he clearly doesn’t have the same feelings for her. There are only two ways this relationship will end, and neither of them bode well for Del. The first option is that he moves on because he grows tired of her. The second is that she eventually catches him cheating, as all rockstars do, but forgives him when he gives her a half assed apology which she pathetically accepts. Eventually though he would move on, but the real question is what will she move on to do? She has nothing. While the old saying does say that opposites attract, but there is a reason opposites are opposites.’

“Del, throw that piece of shit out. You are only torturing yourself,” Stef joined Delilah who was currently sobbing on the couch like a high schooler who had her heart broken on prom night.

“You know that article is trash right? Drew made up this stupid shit so the articles would sell! He did it all for his pathetic career. People aren’t drawn to happy stories Del, they’re drawn to ones filled with drama. Trust me hun, I’ve seen the way Duff looks at you, and you don’t have to be worried. Now go put on something cute. We have a gig to go to,” Stef was quickly met with a grown from Delilah as she melted further into the couch.

“Delilah get off your ass and change. Either you’re changing yourself, or I will. This article means nothing. DUFF IS NOT CHEATING ON YOU. You have NOTHING to worry about okay?” Delilah nodded and headed over towards the kitchen where her bag was.

Feeling like the Delilah situation was under control, Stef headed back into Mag’s room.

“Before you open your mouth Stef, I’m going to save you the time. I’m not going to the gig tonight. Not because of the article. I don’t want to deal with my brother when he is like this. He needs to focus on his gig. I will still be pregnant tomorrow,” Mags snapped back to Stef the moment she entered the room. Stef’s attention quickly snapped to Tonya who nodded her head in agreence with what Mags had just said.

“Makes sense. Delilah and I will be heading out shortly. I think she is currently getting dressed. You’re welcomed to come, but you don’t have to. I get it,” Stef promptly left the room knowing that there was nothing she could do to change Mag’s mind. To say that Mags was stubborn was an understatement. She was a damn bull and once her mind was made up there was no changing it.

After planning a small movie night with Mags, Tonya walked into the kitchen noticing Stef chugging a beer. Tonya’s original intention was going to ask how Stef was doing, but the amount of vodka she had just consumed defiantly answered he question. Stef was not okay.

“So who do you think is going to beat up Drew first?” Stef looked up at Tonya before she finished her drink.

“My money is on Duff or Steven,” Stef made herself another drink as she spoke only worrying Tonya more. Usually Tonya was all for getting plastered, but in the spirit of having fun, not as a coping mechanism.

“I would have said Axl. He already had a shitty temper and is incredibly protective of the band,” Tonya casually replied. Stef shrugged before downing her drink again.

“If you tell him you didn’t say it and that Drew misquoted you then you don’t have to worry. Everyone will believe you. That entire article is filled with lies. Don’t worry you’ll be fine,” Tonya calmly spoke as she watched Stef continue to drink.

“What if I did say it? What if I did say that I didn’t think he was going to make it?” Stef’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“Why would you...” Tonya was immediately interrupted by Stef before she could speak again,

“I would because I was drunk, and Steven is good but.....If he does make it everyone knows it will be short lived. With the money they will get they’ll drown themselves in booze and drugs. Don’t tell anyone but part of me doesn’t want them to make it. I’ve seen what the industry does to people and I don’t want it to happen to Steven.....Drew was interviewing me and I was by no means sober. I didn’t mean for it to come out, and he promised me he wouldn’t tell anyone. A girlfriend is supposed to be supportive and shit,” Tonya ran to Stef’s side as she began to cry.

“Shhh shh shh, you’re fine, no need to worry about it. Just deny it okay? You love him, I know you do. All you can do is be there for him, okay? That’s what you gotta do for him okay? Just be by his side through the think and thin....None of us are perfect Stef. So what you said something? It will all blow over in a week or two, now go fix your makeup because you and Del have a gig to go to,” Tonya flashed Stef a fake smile to cheer her up. Tonya shook her head as she watched Stef leave the kitchen. Tonya wondered if maybe she would be the first to beet the living shit out of Drew.

Delilah fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as her and Stef waited amongst some other girls for the guys to comeback from their quick sound check. Delilah watched true groupies, as Stef called them, as they walk around in heels that where higher than their hair. Paired with their clothes that with one wrong move they would flash themselves to the world. Delilah tried not to judge. She tried to ignored them as they flaunted themselves around, acting like they owned the place and sent Delilah glares. No matter how much she tried she hated them, and she hadn’t even spoken a word towards them.

“Just ignore them, believe it or not they’re jealous of us,” Stef whispered into Delilah’s ear before taking another shot.

“Jealous of having an article written about us or that we are dating a member of Guns N’ Roses?” Delilah questioned.

“Probably both,” Delilah chuckled back at Stef’s question.

“If they want an article that’s full of lies written about them, then they can fucking have it,” Delilah joked back.

“What about Duff?” Stef teased back.

“Over my dead body,” Stef watched as Delilah’s tone went sharp and a frown formed on her face.

“Don’t worry, you got that blonde under some sort of spell. I believe some people call it love,” Stef replied in attempt to pull Delilah back. There was no doubt in her mind that the article put Delilah a little on edge.

“Really?” Her voice sounded like a child when the question escaped her lips. Stef took a piece of Delilah’s hair and tucked it behind her ear.

“It’s clear as day hun,” Stef said as she watched Delilah take her fourth shot. For most a fourth shot in an hour wouldn’t cause any concern, but for a light weight such as Delilah it raised a lot of red flags.

#the dare #the dare fanfic #gnr fanfiction #gnr fanfic #guns n roses fanfiction #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfic #guns n’ roses imagine #guns n’ roses fanfiction #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan fanfiction #axl rose imagine #axl rose fanfiction #axl rose fanfic

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zayray030 · 4 years

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You're an amazing person, Iris!

Summary: Alex and Kara have to visit Barry for help on something but end up finding Iris crying. They comfort her as best as possible and reassure her that she's an amazing person!

Iris sat in the Cortex all alone. Everyone had decided to go out and hang out with Nora. They had wanted to show her all the things that the Flash museum hadn't covered and Iris had declined the visit upon seeing Nora’s face when Barry had invited her to go and told the others that she needed to finish off a very important article for her blog.

Nora had just rolled her eyes and scoffed at her all while muttering about “not being able to make time for her daughter in any timeline” under her breath, low enough for no one else to hear but loud enough for Iris to hear, before turning over to the rest of the team and squealing happily, declaring it ‘Mata day’ for them and quickly dragging them out of the building.

Barry had shot her a small frown adn mouthed if she was okay over Nora’s shoulder. She had nodded, grateful for the fact that the water works haven't started yet, and mouthed back “Enjoy time with your daughter.” before the elevator doors slid closed and then did she collapse in her chair, crying heavily.

She didn't know how long she had sat in the Cortex, crying and lamenting over the fact that she fucked her relationship with her daughter, before a breach was open and Iris had to hastily wipe her tears. She drew out a gun from underneath her desk and pointed it at the breach,expecting to see someone from another earth or to see an evil meta who had breaching powers. Instead there stood Kara and Alex in all their glory.

“Wait, we come in peace!” yelled Kara, holding her hand up in defence before she put them down again and looked at Iris carefully. “Hey Iris, are you okay?” she asked worriedly when she saw the prominent tear tracks on her face.

Iris nodded and wiped her face quickly before smiling widely at Kara. Too wide to be real. “Hey Kara! Alex! What did you need?” she asked, her excitement sounding too fake, even to her.

“Well we were going to ask if Barry was here and if we could talk to him. But now? We're going to find out why you're so upset!” declared Kara, flying over to the petite woman.

“Kara! We need Barry right now!” snapped Alex.

“He's out with Nora and the rest.” said Iris, feeling hurt spread through her body and she quickly looked down to make sure her tears weren't seen.

“Who's Nora and why aren't you with them?” asked Kara, raising an eyebrow. The situation didn't seem right to her. Barry gushed about Iris every second he got and there was no way he would have gone without her.

“Umm, Nora’s mine and Barry's daughter from the future.” said Iris, preferring to ignore the second question. Alex looked at her for a second before rolling her shoulder and raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, princess. What's up? You're normally happy and excitable and would normally be talking our ear off about something or the other.” asked Alex, hands on her hips.

“Apparently people don't stay happy and excitable in the future!” Iris snapped, turning to glare at the taller woman and Kara gasped softly when she saw the tears running down Iris's cheeks.

“Iris! What happened!?”

“I was a bad mother is what happened!” Iris answered, curling up into herself, disappointed to find out that she couldn't shrink down on herself.

“How could you bad mother Iris? You're amazing in every way possible! Even Oliver likes you!” she added in an effort to make the small woman laugh but instead it made it worse and she let out choked little sobs.

“I dampened my own daughter's powers! I stopped her from using her powers for most of her life! I lied to her about everything!” Iris yelled, standing up while more tears fell down her cheeks. “I was barely there for her when she as abusky and when I was, I was way too overbearing and-and-” but Iris lost the battle with her tears and quickly collapsed onto the floor, sobbing her heart out.

Kara quickly pulled the girl into a hug, trying to soothe her. She even tried to sing a song her mother would sing to her when she was feeling upset but that wasn't working. If anything it made it worse. She quickly shit Alex a look and the girl understood what it meant.

‘Get chocolate, Alcohol, ice cream and candy galore for this woman along with a horde of blankets.’

Alex quickly reopened a breach and quickly started looking around Kara's apartment for stuff and quickly grabbed some mint chip ice cream, candy canes, twizzlers and more and quickly grabbed a few blankets before making her way back.

When she breached back and showed the items to Kara she nodded as if to say ‘Good choice.’ before she started to lol around with her X-ray at the walls of the lab and quickly found a room she could use.

She gathered Iris up in her arm, still sobbing, and quickly flew over to the lounge/canteen area and placed the girl gently on the sofa before flying back and picking her sister up.

Kara and Alex did quick work on the situation and wrapped Iris in the blankets and layed out the food in front of her. They cuddled her, yes even Alex, and soothingly spoke to her.

“Hey, it's okay. It'll be okay.” murmured Alex softly stroking the black woman's hair.

“Yeah! We love you Iris!” agreed Kara excitedly and Iris couldn't keep her wet giggle to herself. Kara's excitement was so endearing, it reminded her of Barry.

“Thanks guys.” she finally said, sitting up slightly, wiping away her tears with her hand feeling slightly embarrassed at crying in front of them.

“Hey, a friend in need is a friend in need.” said Kara waving away her gratitude.

“Now, cause it's kinda obvious that you don't want to talk about what happened, and because what we wanted earlier can wait we're going to be watching a few movies. .” declared Alex. “And yes, we can watch the Wizard of Oz.” she added when she saw Kara's face.

“Yay! We're so watching that first!” she said excitedly and they quickly started the movie on the TV. Half way through the movie Iris began speaking.

“When she first came it was so unexpected. But I was so happy. I thought this was the universe's way of saying, ‘Here, sorry for fucking with your life way too many times to be considered fair. Here, have your daughter and raise her for a small period of time.’ pfft. What a joke. She barely even gave me the time of day apart from the occasional cold glance and hidden words.”

Kara nodded and rubbed the girl's shoulder. She knew that you had to let it all out before letting someone interrupt. Alex did the same and slowly pulled Iris I to her chest a bit.

“But ten when I was trying to stop her from flirting with a woman who was almost responsible for the death of hundreds of people, she revealed that in the future I decided to dampen her powers. I dampen her powers. I take away something that I should not have taken away. And Barry stuck between being a good husband to making sure Nora doesn't run off and the others say they aren't taking sides but I can tell that they're all leaning towards Nora’s side and I-. I don't know what to do.” she finally let out. She grabbed the tequila bottle from the table and took a long hulo if it.

“We know that you wouldn't have done it without reason. We know you wouldn't have done it without purpose. We know that you love that little girl to be bits. We know that you're an amazing mother.” said Alex firmly.

“And we also know that you've had enough alcohol to make even Barry drunk.” Kara added and Iris let out a little giggle.

“I know. But Barry's cute when he fusses. He gives me this look as if I'm the only thing in the world worth looking at.” she said happy drunk. Kara and Alex looked over at each other both conveying completely different looks. Kara sap and happiness while Alex showed concern.

“Speak on the angel and he shall arrive.” said Kara, picking up the noise of Barry's heartbeat.

“I thought it was the devil?”

“Please, Barry's the farthest thing from a devil.”

“IRIS!” Barry yelled and Kara could hear the desperateness in his voice.

Barry quickly sped over to the canteen, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Iris between Alex and Kara before immediately narrowing when he saw the alcohol.

Soon the others joined Barry and Nora looked worriedly at her mother's drunk form.

“Barry!” her mother giggled before anyone else could ask what happened. She tried to walk over to him but she tripped and would have fell if Barry didn't catch her and pick her up, bridal style.

“Iris!”

“I love you so much!” she giggled into his neck where her face was placed. Everyone smiled at the scene in front of them before hearing their hearts break at the next few words. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do Iris! Why wouldn't I?” he asked, baffled and confused.

“I'm not a good mom. Duh. Nora says I'm absolutely awful! Like Francine! But I don't want to be like Francine! I want to be better! I am better, aren't I?” she pouted at the brunette.

“You're the best!”

“Yay! Do you think I can convince Nora that I'm a good mother? Do you think she'll let me talk to her at all? Ooh, what do you think her favourite flowers are…?” and as her mother continued to ramble, Nora’s guilt continued to grow.

“It's going to take a long time to get her forgiveness. Sure, she might act like she's fine, but honestly she'll constantly feel hurt.” whispered a voice in her ear before she jumped at the sound and saw Kara on her side.

“I know.” she said simply.

“We aren't going to kay it out on you right now because Iris is way too drunk and Barry seems happy.” muttered Lex on her other side. Bira just bowed her head down in shame and nodded.

“If you want her forgiveness try and get to know her. Really know her.” Kara softly whispered into her ear. Nora nodded slightly before speeding over to her mom and giving her a kiss in the cheek.

“Come on old man! Mom needs her sleep and you need your beauty sleep.” she added playfully before turning to her now unconscious mother and Nora couldn't help but admire the smoothness of the skin without worry lines blemishing the skin.

“Yeah lets. And we need to make sure we stop at every available store for mint chip chocolate and ice cream when she wakes up.” he added before the West-Allen family disappeared out of sight.

“Shit! We forgot to ask Barry for help on the CSI case!” exclaimed Alex.

“Forget that! Who's going to clean up this mess!” snapped Caitlin.

“We're visitors, so yeah! Adiós!” Kara said before opening up a breach grabbing Alex, and flying off.

“At least madame West-Allen got a happy ending.” said Sherloque.

“And since you care about that so much you can clean up!” snapped Caitlin, already matching out with Ralph and Cisco following behind her.

“Of course. At least I get a few more hours to go through Nora’s journal.” Sherloque whispered to himself, already beginning to clean up.

#iris west #iris west allen #barry allen #westallen #dctv #alex danvers #nora west allen #caitlin snow #sherloque wells #kara danvers #kara zor el #Iris West friendship #iris west deserves better #iris west defense sqaud #Protective Kara Danvers #Protective Alex Danvers

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