#wee lees yes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyseokmins · 11 months

Text

size matters • l.c.

Pairing: lee chan x afab!reader Genres: major smut (minors PLS dni!), losers + idiots + besties to lovers Warnings: *deep breath* MONSTER COCK CHAN, swearing, love me some switch action, reader does not use specified pronouns but refers to their pussy as "she", reader also wears a skirt, pet names, alcohol and goofy drunk antics, bad humor, use of "whore/slut", tons of dirty talk, they're kinda pervs, mentions of toys, masturbation (fem), hints to past sexual partners, mentions of oral (male), actual oral (fem. receiving), car sex (kind of), condoms, fingering (fem. receiving), WAP lmao and squirting, bantering, degradation, wee bit praise, unprotected/protected MESSY sex, underwear play (??? lmao), precum play (??), edging, face-riding, groping/manhandling, objectification, reverse cowgirl position, bulge kink, slapping/spanking, possession, almost choking, biting, tears and crying, a bit of overstim and if i missed smth lmk sdfjkajdf WC: 8.3k A/N: this started out purely self-indulgent as usual and reads like a bad pornhwa but it's also nana month so a happy early birthday to @bitchlessdino because i will be asleep when the clock actually strikes 12 tomorrow! and bc i will dedicate all chan content to the loml! this is like my 3rd longest fic on this blog and 4th longest fic ever and it's just utter filth and smut... hate it here. i always get into a crazy headspace when i write for this man. i hope y'all enjoy my delusions before i retire out of shame 😬

"I'm worried my dick's too big."

Laughter bubbles in your chest at the same time the beer you'd just taken a swig of swishes around in your mouth. It's so like your best friend to say something stupid. Especially when your mouth is full.

He frowns in mild annoyance as you rock back and forth with mirth, struggling not to spit out your drink and make a mess. But also trying to refrain from choking. Because if you die, you sure as hell will find a way to make sure everyone knows that a dumbo and his terrible concern over having a big cock drove you to your demise in such an unfortunate manner.

And no one wants that.

"I dunno what's so funny," the man in question irritably gripes, "but for god's sake, calm down and swallow."

Though it ends up that Chan is the one gulping first. Ears burning and eyes widening when you wiggle your brows deviously and do as he says. Sticking your tongue out for good measure — just for proof that yes, you did swallow — but he's quickly whipping his gaze away. Head turning to the side as if that does anything to hide the embarrassing look overtaking his expression.

He thinks you'll back off, hoping the nervous twiddling of his fingers will deter further teasing. But he should really know better. The telltale signs are littered across the table in front of him and even overpower your usual sweet scent when you lean close into his personal space.

"So, you like it when someone swallows versus spits for you, Channie?"

"You're drunk."

"So are you."

Because that's what happens every movie night. The two of you enjoy too many beers after a feel-good show and start talking nonsense.

"Yeah, and we're having a very serious conversation right now. A drunk one. But still, serious."

You purse your lips. "You're bluffing. No way you're complaining about the hugeness of your dick. 'Cause no one does that."

"It's not like I'm trying to boast or even insecure, I'm just worried."

"Worried about what?" you snort and push at his shoulder. "There'd be no reason to worry if you know how to use it. In the end, size doesn't matter at all."

Chan quirks an eyebrow, side-eyeing you. "At all?"

"If your technique is good, it shouldn't matter as long as everyone feels satisfied. You know, you just gotta hit that one spot…"

You start doing hand motions to demonstrate your point that seem wildly inappropriate and are honestly so drunkenly uncoordinated to the point that Chan not only feels compelled to stop you but doubts anyone would feel good from that. Then again, he's never really managed to partake in sloppy sex, so who knows?

He grabs your hands to still them and though you no longer move, you protest. "What? You'll have 'em seeing and feeling stars! To be honest… you prolly will too if ya try your best."

"You know, I do know how to pleasure someone. It's not really an issue once I'm inside, it's just getting there that's kind of a problem."

"Channie, are you secretly a virgin?" You lay your head on his shoulder, hand running down his forearm and weaving your fingers between his. "Issokay if you are."

"You know I'm not!"

"Well, yeah I guess you're a bit of a whore. Still love you no matter what."

Chan chokes out your name in frustration. "All I'm saying is that I have a huge cock and I'm sad about it!"

"And you keep saying I'm drunk. Look, you're valid in being… upset about having a fat dick even if I don't understand. Just telling you that sometimes a ton of prep is helpful and even a decent amount of lube. No shame in that. Not everyone's built to take a large-ass, whopping cock." And then you mumble extremely quietly, "If it's even that big."

Unfortunately, he hears you and scoffs. Popping his shoulder up to gently shove you off him. Though that only causes you to grasp for his sweatpant-clad thigh and hold onto it for dear support in your half-drunken stupor. The perverted part of both your brains flash to your hand squeezing tightly around something else; the unmistakable heat of said something else radiating towards the closest part of your hand and causing a hot rush to flare across your entire body.

Or maybe that's just the alcohol.

Doesn't stop you from shamelessly ogling what you can only presume to be his bulge, gray fabric stretched over his groin and straining against muscular thighs.

"Are you flaccid right now?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just curious. Thinking about my different dildo sizes."

He balks at that. "Pl-please don't."

"Yeah, not sure I wanna compare what your dick would realistically feel inside me," you admit even if you find it difficult to tear your hungry eyes away to take in Chan's mortified expression.

"Can we stop talking about my personal parts now?" he squeaks out and you shoot him a dubious side-eye even though you do easily acquiesce.

"With pleasure. Speaking of which…"

Chan's hushed groan of "Oh dear" goes ignored even after you drape an arm on the back of the couch behind his head, lay the other across his chest, and splay your legs over his lap. Your lips end up leaving a sticky residue on his cheek, neck, and ear as you graciously whisper your own sex secret — the spontaneous topic of tonight — to him.

"Only my bullet vibe has the ability to make me squirt. None of the others, not even the thirteen-inch one with suction ridges. So yeah, hm… size doesn't matter, does it Channie?"

"Well, those are toys and uh… my big dick is simply what it is. A big, regular human dick. Nothing fancy."

"Then you should try harder."

He apologizes for having such blatant ignorance about the matter and then eventually you end up falling asleep together.

Limbs tangled and wrapped around one another just like every other night you doze off with the comfort of the other's body warmth. And like usual, you and Chan peer at each other with eyelids heavy from sleep and goofy but comforting smiles — merely inches apart when the sun's rays sneak a peek through the blinds to shine onto your faces. Because everything's normal and just right between the two of you.

Like always.

Except it's not.

All you can think about is your best friend's dumb, gargantuan cock and his weird embarrassment about it. If you didn't know Chan as well as you do, you might think he was just using that as an excuse to get into your pants but you know better. He's genuinely perturbed over his too-big dick!

You let out a sigh. Warm breath fans the tip of your ear while large hands lay on your hips, ringed fingers teasing the bare skin revealed by the daring crop top you decided to wear tonight.

"Am I boring you, baby?"

"Kind of," you admit, displeased that you weren't enjoying the usual thrill of grinding on the dancefloor with a hot man. Turning around to face said man, you purse your lips. "How would you feel if you had a big dick, Cheol?"

He raises an eyebrow in the self-assured way only the Choi Seungcheol can. "Shouldn't you be asking what it's like possessing the largest dick of the century?"

"Not helping, I'm not talking about big dick energy."

"That's not what you said when it was shoved halfway down your throat."

"Can't say much if I'm sucking someone off, you dolt. And I said you made my jaw hurt 'cause you're a guy that likes it rough, not 'cause I thought your dick was overly huge."

"Brat," Seungcheol says rather affectionately, "so whose humongous cock are you taking tonight?"

Your eyes wander over his shoulder to the bar, the same place he noticed your gaze strayed towards all night. A glee-filled smirk is on your face when you meet his eyes again though you only casually state with a shrug, "An absolute loser's."

"Wasn't aware it was self-pleasure night, sweetheart," he jokingly snorts, nudging you in that direction before you can get too mad at him. But not without delivering a playful slap on your ass as a 'good luck to charm' to send you on your way. "Go get 'em, Tiger!"

The cocky bastard must think you're after Soonyoung tonight, who greets you by placing a polite kiss on the cheek and a casual side hug. Though he looks hella fine tonight with slicked-back hair and donning the signature head-turning 'leather jacket, silver jewelry' fit that Seungcheol is sporting, he's not who you have in mind.

You squeeze him back though, always ready to return the affection you receive. "Rare to not see you dancing, tough crowd tonight?"

"Nah, I just have my priorities set." He angles his head toward the bartender who sneaks subtle glances at the two of you as if to distinguish what intentions you had approaching such a striking man.

That they just so happen to have their eyes on. Luckily Soonyoung does too.

"Ah, well, so do I!"

Never one to want to get stuck between two people and cause a potential misunderstanding, you pat him on the arm, wink encouragingly at the bartender, and skip away to find the person who's been occupying your mind for the past few days in a very different way like crazy.

Chan hasn't moved from where you last caught sight of him — in the corner of the bar nursing the same glass of bourbon for far too long. There's distinctly more water in it from the rapidly melting ice ball than alcohol but you still ease it out of his grasp. Taking a sip only to wrinkle your nose in disgust.

Your best friend observes your expression with a bemused one of his own after you hand it back, lip gloss staining the rim. A far cry from the darkened, sultry stare that followed as you moved from one gyrating body to the next. You wonder how you've never noticed it before. But then again, you yourself have never thought about him in that kind of way until now.

While momentarily lost in your thoughts, Chan's working on getting the attention of Soonyoung's flirt target to order your favorite drink. But you place a hand on his arm, squeezing the firm muscle beneath your fingertips.

"I wanna go home."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just feel like leaving."

He shakes his head. "You looked like you were having a good time."

"Ooh… are you jealous?"

"Hah, jealous? No. Concerned that someone did something you didn't like? Yeah."

"There will be," you tug him by the open collar of the flannel he's wearing so you're nose-to-nose, "if he doesn't take me back to his place right now."

His eyebrows raise, eyes widening as they drop down to the pouty curve of your lips. You swear he even peers at your cleavage with the tiniest of squints before finishing what little bit of liquor is left, standing, and pulling you along with him outside.

Walking to his car parked by the sidewalk is truly a breath of fresh air, the chill of the evening breeze and city noises rushing by helps bring Chan back down to earth. No longer on the crazy high fueled by the hypnotic, seductive thrall of the nightclub's booming bass that adds to him being wholly entranced by your teasing allure.

Now it's just you and him. Simple as usual, getting ready to drive around.

"You want to go to my place?"

"Yeah."

He starts the engine, checking the side mirror to estimate when there will be an available opening to pull out. "Whaddya wanna do, stop somewhere for snacks?"

"Sure. Maybe condoms too."

"I'm sorry, what?" It's a good thing the car's still in park when his foot stomps on the gas pedal out of shock, revving the engine and making you both jump. "Why?"

Chan even goes as far as to steal a glance over his shoulder at the backseat. As if you had miraculously snuck in someone from the club that you were planning to fuck and he didn't know about it.

There's no one there, of course.

"Why… are we picking up… condoms?" he repeats. "I um, I have a bunch of unopened boxes i-if you need them."

"You do? Good."

"Uh, can you at least let me know how many are used so I don't suddenly run out?"

Your eyebrows raise though he doesn't even dare look at you. "Do you think you'll cum that much?"

"Pardon?! N-no, I only have a surplus because I bought them in bulk!"

"I thought you weren't having sex a lot because you have such a big cock. One that rarely goes inside anyone."

His hands cover his face. "I'm saying it's fine if you want to use them!"

"Gee, thanks. You want me to make condom balloon animals or something?"

One brown eye glares at you between fingers. "… If you're into that."

"I bet extra large ones would make brilliant animal balloons but that's a sad waste when they could go around a dick instead. I mean it can't be easy for you to find ones that don't break. Whatever, at least you have a ton. And as you know I'm on the pill."

He has to know. He has to ask. "Are you confused or is it just me?"

"Clearly, because I don't know why you think I'd be into filling condoms with air and not cock."

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but — I mean like there's no way — but are you implying that you want to… you know, with me…?"

"Whaddya mean 'no way'? Fuck yeah, I wanna fuck you! Sorry, was that not clear?"

Chan chokes on his saliva and has a brief hacking fit. "No?!"

"Damn, uh… my bad. Sorry, I thought it was super obvious. Simply put, I can't get the thought of you out of my mind or my pussy, so yeah. We should totally bang. Have sex and all that. Only if you want to obviously. No hard feelings if not."

Oh god, yes he does. Since he now knows that you can squirt, let alone with something as small as a little bullet vibrator, all he can think about is what would happen if he teased your cunt with the thick head of his cock. It's been driving him absolutely feral and fueled a rather ugly feeling when he saw Seungcheol all over you earlier.

But now that he knows you want him? Maybe just as much as he wants you? Explicitly?

He starts driving in an attempt to help collect himself. You're at ease, able to read him well and know he'll need some time to process and organize his thoughts. So, you wait in silence while he does just that, and when he speaks again his voice is low, laced with utter desire.

"You've been thinking about me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Your pussy has too?"

"Mhm, Channie… she's been crying for you like crazy."

"Fuck," he mutters and grips the steering wheel tightly to avoid swerving into the berm. He rasps out in a desperate beg, "C-can you touch yourself for me? Let me hear how loud she is?"

And you sweetly oblige with a hushed, "Of course," and can't lift your miniskirt up faster than you do now, pushing the drenched thong underneath to the side. Your clit's been buzzing nonstop ever since he whined about his big cock and you got to glimpse the outline of it. And with him now sitting beside you as your thumb rubs at the tiny nub, pointer fingers dipping in and out of your clenching hole, you both let out groans — you at the thrilling sensation and him at the insanely filthy sounds.

Chan steals a moment to take in the sight when he switches lanes, loving the way your tongue lolls past glossy lips that part to release little whimpers of pleasure. It's unlikely you'll squirt right now. But there's still a slick sheen of arousal glistening on your thighs so he holds onto the sick twist of hope that a trace will be left behind. He's pleased and licks his lips but has to swiftly pay attention to the road again, especially when your head rolls to the side, eyelashes pleadingly fluttering at him.

He needs to get home fast. Now.

The car fills with the sloppy noises of you playing with your cunt which grows wetter and wetter by the second. The air is heavy and oozes sex, the compact space growing more humid as you work and rile up your pussy, yourself, and the man beside you. You keep easing up to that delicious edge but never fully dipping over it, making sure to continue growing needier and more wanton until the blurry scenery rushing past the windows half-registers as familiar in your already fucked-out state of mind.

"Wanna get a feel of your cock," you whine out with no shame at how pitiful it sounds. "Gotta know how many fingers to stuff inside to stretch myself out for the real thing."

The way he spits out your name like a curse word makes your gummy walls contract tightly, emitting a moist suctioning sound when you pull your fingers out and bully them back in.

"No. You have to wait."

"Don't wanna! Been waiting long enough."

"So fuckin' needy," he taunts as if he's not panting heavily with his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. "I don't think they'll come even close to opening up that tiny hole of yours effectively for my dick. But size doesn't matter, so whatever. Right, sweetheart?"

You cuss him out jokingly while working knuckle-deep inside your cunt. Humping against your palm and pulling at your nipples with the other hand underneath your top when he rolls to a stop at an empty four-way in the neighborhood.

He swats your arm out and away, curiously sweeping his own fingers across your damp folds that flinch at the sudden contact but still mourn the devastating loss of being filled before he slaps at them. Chan grins like a total heathen at the way your hips jolt upon impact, growing more and more delirious at the way droplets of your arousal splash out at the action.

"If you cum by rubbing yourself on that seat — no hands — before I pull in the driveway, I'll let you touch me to mentally prep yourself before we get inside. Before I get inside you." His words are enunciated with a smirk that drops after bringing soaked fingers to his lips — eyelids fluttering with a grunt at your taste eagerly licked clean with his tongue. "God, do you know how delicious you are? Need you to sit on my face at some point, wanna drown in that sloppy pussy."

His dirty talk could be enough to finish you off, you belatedly realize. The earlier command to rut your aching clit against the scratchy fabric to soothe it makes you thrillingly feel like a depraved whore.

"You're a fuckin' perv, Chan," you growl out as if you aren't doing exactly what he asked on instinct and loving how he's talking to you. How good he is at making you feel divine.

"Yeah? But I want something to remember this by."

"Sick," you snarl through gritted teeth like the knowledge of him thinking about this moment every time he gets in his car and looks at the passenger seat isn't getting you off even more. Bonus points if he jerks off to it. You act like it's not the catalyst to you coming undone, blaming it fully on the bump of the asphalt connecting to the concrete driveway hitting your hard nub just right — absolutely defiling his poor car with your arousal. "Sick in the head."

Neither one of you care.

In fact, Chan's so pleased he ignores the words you both know you don't mean. Grabbing the hand you buried deep within your hole, but then chose to use it to grip at the console while following his command, and guides it to his mouth. Happily repeating the same thing he did to his own, maintaining eye contact as he tongues at your fingertips. Pupils dilating with how addicted he's become to your taste. Growing more and more eager to have it straight from the source in the very near future.

Then he places your spit-coated fingers where his cock strains against dark jeans. A darker, damp spot on the denim signifies how much precum the tip is leaking, begging to be released. He squeezes the hand sandwiched between his and the hardening length, shallowly thrusting up into your palm so you can completely grope at its mouth-watering, jaw-aching girth.

"Feel that?" he goads, "that's gonna have to fit inside your tight cunt."

Your eyes nearly cross at the realization. And of course, your pussy forlornly clenches around nothing, dripping out more arousal to add to the already soiled mess beneath you.

Oh, you cannot wait.

He wasn't lying, positive every single finger stuffing your hole couldn't compare to the size you just felt beneath those very appendages. Tears collect at your lash line, already anticipating the sheer amount of pleasure you know you'll be feeling with a very warm and real dick. And he's not even anywhere inside of you yet!

Chan coos and wipes the tear that escapes to your cheek. Then he gets out of the car and comes around to the other side to help you walk since your legs are weak and shaking — for more than one reason. That's fine because it gives him almost a weird sense of pride and an excuse to grind and grope at you as he pleases while unlocking the front door. Surprisingly, both of you are giggling together as if you're naughty teens again, always up to no good. It feels strangely wholesome, a light sense of relief blooming and filling your entire body.

Until you're on the other side of the door and those feelings morph back into something carnal. More primal. And Chan must feel it too because you swear he growls when pinning you against the wall.

"You'll let me eat you out, right? 'Course you will."

Now it's your turn to feel perverse satisfaction, watching as his lip trembles at the very thought of getting denied such a treat. Feeling the man's absolute desperation through the fingertips that dig into your hips and slightly hike up the already ridiculously short skirt you're wearing.

"C'mon bestie, please."

"… You did not bestie-zone me right now."

"I — " Chan hesitates and you fear the reality of the situation has hit him. That he'll back out and leave you a yearning mess like this. But then he leans in close to whisper hotly against your ear, "What, you want me to call you something like baby?"

Your hum of consideration encourages him to continue, palms sliding down the sides of your bare thighs and lowering himself at a pace that matches the syllables of each word leaving his mouth. Keeping eye contact with you the whole time as a mischievous smirk lights up his stupidly handsome face.

"Darling? Babe? Lovely sweetheart? Or…" His voice gets thicker, more gravelly until he's finally on his knees and peering up at you. "A vixen? Seductress? Little whore? My slut?"

His hands sneak upwards again, pausing when they're hidden under the pleat of your skirt.

"Still, you'll always be my dear best friend." He acknowledges and for some reason, it fills you with a comforting sense of reassurance.

And then he waits, hoping — praying — to get your permission.

The coy way you lift up the skirt in no way matches the cute grin you flash at him. Biting your pointer finger as you reveal your pretty pussy for Chan, its puffy lips spread by the continually soaked thong stuck between them. His eyes flick almost nervously away from yours to get a look, letting out a strangled moan at the sight.

Automatically drawn like a bee to honey. His heart thumps anxiously when your fingers bury in his bangs to yank at them, halting him just short of being able to stick his tongue out for a taste that he already misses. He whines, fully surrounded by the heady scent of your arousal and unable to feast. But you have something to tell him first.

"You can't make me cum."

"What? Why? Need to stretch — "

"No. I already spent hours practicing with my thirteen-inch, so it'll be fine. We're doing this so you know what the telltale signs are when I'm about to cum when this," you briefly release his hair so manicured nails can pet the outside of your glistening wet cunt, "is wrapped around your dick." You smile when he moans quietly at the revelation and you tug lightly again at silky strands, eager to hear more before you absolutely break him. "And don't you want to see me squirt?"

"God, yes."

You shove his face between your inner thighs. "Then this'll help, baby boy. So, don't you dare let me cum unless it's on your cock."

Chan really can't protest against what you call him and honestly wouldn't want to because that would mean leaving the delectable meal he's finally being allowed to dine on. Though your thong remains in the way, he uses it to his advantage. Sucking all the wetness out of it with a hearty groan of appreciation, pushing it back between your folds, and running his tongue that put it there in zig-zag motions along the sorry excuse for fabric. Then repeating the same motions on either side of the bare supple pussy lips that clench at every nibble, suck, and brush on them.

It isn't very long until he gets frustrated by its restrictions though, feeling outrageous at how jealous he's getting of a piece of cloth that gets to wrap around your cunt all the time. Like you can read his mind, you pull him off with breathless laughter at his inevitable moan of sadness and mumble words of reassurance that you're doing it for his benefit.

He can't really hear with the rush of adrenaline roaring in his ears but he surely sees how you rip the offending thong away. It tears easily, falling apart at its most sodden point. And finally, your pussy is truly bare all for him and he rushes to dive back in. Slurping and sucking at your drenched hole like a dehydrated man finding an oasis in the desert.

Again, Chan's intentions were to leave you weak with the magic his mouth and tongue could work but you don't really allow him. His neck's cranked at an awkward angle as you continue to grip at his hair and smother his lips and tongue with your cunt, sloppy ruts back and forth causing your clit to catch and bump against his nose. He doesn't mind even if he's ninety-nine percent positive this is how you'd get off on one of your toys — no, he definitely has not imagined that — but he's not complaining.

There's something in the way that you're utterly using him like he's nothing but an object for your ultimate pleasure. It has the blood rushing down to swell up his cock even more. And maybe he's willingly happy to do so. Offering his body for your pleasure, making sure to stiffen his tongue so it will hit part of your clit as you move and grind all over his face.

It's kinda hot. He also might be enjoying this a little too much.

And just as his eyes roll up for the umpteenth time out of delicious, delirious dizziness, he feels it.

The buildup must have been when you started humping his chin shamelessly, slamming down harshly enough that he's sure he'll have bruises to show off. Settling more and more of your weight forward to arch your back, breasts heavy as they follow gravity, and your nipples visibly poke through the crop top's thin material.

Your hips jerk up and away a few times, the subtle wiggle in them certainly has your ass jiggling cutely. He also notes how your "ah" moans turn to "mhms", positive you're biting your lip with closed eyes and a pleased grin. By now the hands tangling in his hair have made their way to the back of his head and Chan knows one thing for sure.

You're on the brink of climaxing.

And as much as he wants you to make more of a mess on his face, he's a little afraid of what you might do — or might not do — so he obediently, but regretfully backs away and sinks down to sit on his heels. Pathetic, the way he has to simply watch like a good boy as your slit flutters above him and you release the death grip hold you had on his poor hair.

Once all of your weight is supported by the wall again, you slide down it to plop on the floor. A sheepish grin on your face as you praise him for doing such a great job, reveling in what a sexy, fucked-out look he's wearing — mussed-up hair, swollen lips, and a shiny mix of sweat and arousal decorating his face as his eyes struggle to refocus while he catches his breath.

He embarrassingly thinks you might kiss him when you lean in. Only to jolt with surprise at your hand slipping into his back pocket and he flinches after you squeeze at his well-shaped ass with a naughty giggle.

"A souvenir," you murmur in his ear and he feels the spongy ball of your torn thong when he stands like it's a gold coin weighing down his jeans.

"Can't believe you ripped those yourself."

"Can't believe you didn't rip them."

"Didn't wanna ruin them," he admits because he'd honestly feel bad. Though you shoot him a funny look that he doesn't quite understand as he assists your wobbling frame on the walk to the bedroom.

"Dude, you've already ruined so many, what's one more pair?"

"Huh?"

It's amazing how serious you are when you ask, "Don't you remember how wet I've been getting thinking about your dumb cock? Almost ran out of panties to wear."

With that admission, Chan is immediately rushing you down the hallway and has you on his bed at record speed. It's so comical that you have no choice but to once again fall into that giggly headspace like earlier as you help one another strip each other's clothes off.

"God, why are you like this? Such a fucking little tease."

"You love it."

"Hm, yeah," he looks at you with such tenderness, "guess I do."

You verbally agree even as you grab at his wrist before he can throw his boxers to the ground. "Hand 'em over. It's only fair if you have mine," you point out when he raises an eyebrow.

"Someone's full of surprises."

"Well, somebody's loved all of them so I'm sure he'll like this one too."

Though he falls onto his back easily when you push him down, he can't help but raise concern. "I get that you… practiced, but wouldn't a better position be with me on top? You'll like — "

"And I get that you liked being used like a dildo, baby boy."

You miss the chagrined look that rapidly spreads across Chan's pretty face at the callout. But that's okay because you turn around to throw a leg over and straddle his prone body, staring at your prize of the night — the fattest dick you've been fantasizing about in the flesh.

"Thanks for these, by the way." You send a wink at him over your shoulder, waving the boxers that dangle off your pointer finger. "Need something to bite onto," you add and moan when you deliberately let your tongue meet the salty patch of precum smeared on them before clamping the black cloth between your teeth.

His heavy cock jerks up, already overwhelmed by everything you're doing. His hips follow suit, also lifting once the feeling of your dripping cunt soaks his abs as you sit and press him back against the bed and reach a hand out. He groans, clutching at the blanket when your palm rubs at the sensitive skin. You marvel at how your decently sized fingers fail to fully wrap around the entire girth.

It already weighs a ton laying against the hand you're using and struggling to prop it up. Shining in all its glory from the excess that's leaked and coated it thoroughly. You seem happy to add to it and Chan's eyes widen at the couple of clear globs of arousal that drip out of your cunt, aided by two free fingers spreading your pussy lips and contracting your inner walls to squeeze them out. And then you sink a little lower, kissing the tip of his cock with your clit before rubbing the thick head between your folds.

"You're… you're so w-wet, mhm, fuck!" He's already on the brink of tears and this is just the beginning. And the gasping man might've just let out a sob at the sight of both of your hands shaking, clasped around his dick as you position it at the right angle and slowly ease the tip inside. "God, 'n so soft," he fucking gargles out due to how much he's drooling.

You're no better off. The saliva that's pooling in your mouth at the delightful ache and burn has completely saturated his boxers. They do nothing to muffle your moans that only grow higher in pitch with the few additional inches you attempt to take, a little more each time. But at least you won't grind your teeth together, plus you're buried in the taste and scent of Chan's essence. Even more so as you topple forward, nails digging into his shins.

It's almost humiliating. How you've ended up face-planting into the mattress and your hips take on a mind of their own, humping up and down midair yet still on the top of his cock. Circling and gyrating as they attempt to both run away and plop firmly up and down onto the hard, thick length begging to fully bury into your tight cunt that's slowly widening to accommodate.

Luckily, it's not like Chan can make fun of or even blame you, focusing everything he can on not thrusting up into your wet heat on his own accord right now out of consideration. The man understands it's a stretch, a painful one at that.

He doesn't mind staying mildly distracted. There's so much to take in. Ogling the way your ass bounces and jiggles, pornographic sound effects of his cock absolutely bullying your pussy as it squelches in and out. Filling the room with nasty noises audio porn wishes it could truly replicate amid both of your pants, moans, groans, and whines.

It feels like forever until his length has finally made its home within your squishy walls that welcome it inside with a multitude of affectionate squeezes. But honestly, that barely lasts because your hips refuse to let up and once the stretch no longer burns as much and instead melts into mind-numbing pleasure, all you can do is ride him into delirium. And Chan fucking loves it, continuing to watch how your ass reverberates with each downward slam accompanied by the sting of ass cheeks slapping against his stomach over and over again.

"S-so slutty f'me, b-best friend actin' like a whore on my dick."

"Ah, mm… cock… your cock! It's makin' me act slutty!"

"Yeah? You like being my slutty best friend, baby?"

You lug your head onto the leg you'd been riddling with love bites and salivating all over after spitting out his ruined boxers, looking tearfully in his direction. Cross-eyed with a goofy smile on your face at how fucked-out you've become as your clit grinds against his squishy balls that tighten, firm, and fill up with each thud of your hips.

"Mhm… yeah."

"You gonna be my slutty baby from now on?"

"Ohhh, touch me Channie… please!"

"Since y-you asked so nicely." He squeezes at your ass cheek though it's quickly wrenched out of his grasp because you can't stop moving. "But I… I asked you a question." And then his palm flies out, skin meeting skin in a loud crack against your other cheek. As if it's actually a punishment. "My pretty whore's too fucked out to answer, h-huh?"

"Mhmph! More… more!"

A gasp leaves your mouth and impossibly, your hips only speed up before they suddenly halt. Practically screaming at this point with how good your best friend's cock is buried so deeply and fully seated inside as you somehow manage to sit up with inhuman strength.

Oh, but your darling Channie knows why.

He lazily grins, empty mind now playing all the signs through his head along to the same moments happening in real-time. You have a death grip on his thighs, certain he'd really impale you in a morbid way if you lose your hold as you bounce haphazardly. How nice, he decides to aid you — giving into the urges to thrust up into your suffocating little cunt whenever you rise up so you constantly remain stuffed full every single time.

Your back does its arch thing and he runs a hand down the curve, pushing down ever so gently as he takes over. It's his turn for a slapping assault, his balls returning the favor on your tender clit that pokes and rubs at them, egging on the brutal pace you started in the first place.

"Gonna squeeze the life outta me," and you clench even tighter around him so that even the air in his lungs is sucked out by the squeeze of your cunt. "You wanna murder me with that sweet pussy of yours? Choke the life outta me, sweetheart? Like the well-behaved little whore that you are?"

Chants of "yes, yes, yes" fall in between salacious moans of "mhms" and "fuck Channie, so good" and it fuels Chan into true unleashed feral mode. The addition of the white ring forming at the base of his cock in no way, shape, or form is helping to reign him in at all. He presses appreciative bruises into the skin of your hips, aiding your sore and tired legs with the powerful strength of his arms.

"A creamer too… oh my god, what can't your cunt do baby, fuck — so freakin' perfect."

"All… all for you!"

Chan laughs and it's mean, a petulant frown causing your lips to jut out at his mocking tone. "For me? You gonna be a-all mine from now on? Let me be the only one t-to stretch this sweet hole out?"

Ongoing cries of "yes" mixes and slurs with "yours" but it's enough for him, especially when you manage to moan out with a promise that you're definitely his slutty whore and will only be his forever.

That pleases him, an elated grumble rumbling in his chest. "Gonna fill 'er up real good and you'll swallow me whole baby. Feel me for days, drippin' outta — ah, shit!"

His voice cracks, the hands assisting your movements haul your hips up and then down, anchoring them firmly against his pelvis. You peer over your shoulder at him in utter dismay at suddenly being empty. His missed cock trembling without your warmth, flopping hot and hard against your stomach. Granting a helpful outside visual of how deep it can drill up into your cunt. But that's kind of useless when you already experienced it first-hand, so all you can do is send Chan a weepy glare.

"S-sorry babe, we just, I should probably… " His eyes dart to the unopened drawer of his nightstand. "Gonna throw a condom on."

You let out a scoff of disbelief and discontent, surly brat behavior poking through. "Doesn't matter, wanna feel you fill me up. 'N then squirt it all out, won't matter anyways."

"That's not how it works."

Chan's grateful the usual post-nut clarity somehow hit before. It's still awful timing and might have been a complete mood killer but you're both so worked up — you in particular — it doesn't seem to matter. Even as he nudges you off while reaching for a package, you back up and try to grind against his cock to change his mind. But you reluctantly give up, especially when he ends up reacting with a harsher hiss more from rolling the latex down the sensitive length than your plump ass rubbing it.

You're honestly a little offended.

He hushes and tries to soothe you. Fumbling with the slick mess around your gaping hole and dipping inside occasionally with one hand as he works on the condom. But you know for a fact you've been ruined because you barely feel a thing after your cunt's been stretched out for and filled specifically with his huge cock.

Now you just wish he'd ultimately finish the job of ruining you. Oh, and maybe continue some more after. And a lot.

You grimace because you're able to think too much. And then Chan's finally all ready to go and your cheek is suddenly pressed into the rumpled sheets, nipples brushing deliciously against them. You're pushed onto your forearms and he helps widen your knees at a spread angle so your pussy is fully presentable and gapingly accessible.

"Good thing I'm flexible."

"Yeah," Chan licks his lips, "just as I'd expect from my sweet slut."

"You gonna fill this slut up then, Channie or — "

You're cute off by the squeal at his cock ramming back inside of where it belongs. Meanwhile, he chuckles darkly, running a hand through sweaty bangs as he tries to distribute weight solidly with how he's risen to his knees. Finding little support from the mattress to support the onslaught of powerful thrusts in and out of your pussy and discovers a better method with a tight hold of your hips where his hands instinctively fall.

"Best way to shut a whore up is to fuck them." He clicks his tongue in disapproval because you're nuzzling face-first into the bed, muffling the sounds that drive him crazy. "Doesn't mean I don't wanna hear you moan f'me, baby."

What he doesn't know is you're trying to find something to bite into that won't end up being your poor tongue.

To manhandle you as he sees fit, Chan's fingers slip down to splay around where your vocal cords lie. Thumb digging beneath your jawline into the soft fleshy skin of your neck. Teasing you with a not-quite-there chokehold that causes you to pulsate around the cock sliding in and out with little resistance thanks to the help of the slick that pools endlessly out of your core.

Then he's turning your head to the side to watch your eyelids flutter rapidly. Noticing how your jaw is clenched, teeth practically gnashing at each push into you that now relentlessly strokes that bundle of nerves. Taking pity, he lends a finger. Prying open your mouth and not caring when you bite down on it with a ferocity that could break skin — that's what he offered it for anyways — though it will definitely leave behind bruising indents that'll take days to heal.

But he wouldn't care if you ended up breaking his bones too. With the way he's driving his dick over and over into you like a madman, he possibly could break something by that alone. The new position benefits the both of you greatly, granting him a better angle to reach deep and you find comfort in the way his body lays against yours. Pressing you down further into the bed, the weight comforting.

Even through the latex, he can feel the little bump of nerves his tip brushes against that's just rough enough to make him shiver. He purposefully aims his pelvis to be able to hit it each time. The lone arm at your hip wraps around your abdomen and he moans at how he can feel the bulge of skin pressed against his forearm from the size of the monster dick within you.

It drives him feral, punctuating each sharp thrust with a praising hiss of, "Best. fuckin'. pussy. ever!"

And then it's happening. You can literally see the tightly-wound knot unraveling. Can feel as it loosens while your cunt suctions around his cock in a hard, vice-like grip. You cling around him, refusing to let him leave your warmth for a second. Not even daring to let him slide even a bit out. Though he wouldn't even think of it. As the mental ties come undone in your brain, so does your body — plummeting over and free-falling off the cliff of pleasure.

White flashes across your vision as your body writhes and shakes beneath Chan. Overcome by how fucking amazing it feels to be so full with the devastatingly huge dick of the person you care about the most tearing apart your insides. You're sobbing, tears drenching your face and where it lays.

Chan's praising you through it all, complimenting how good you are for him, how perfect everything about you is, and how only you — his bestest, sluttiest, sweetest friend — could take him so well.

"Fuckin' knew you would be the one," he confesses and presses a kiss against your neck. It's so tender, full of love and gentleness despite how his hips cruelly still haven't let up, and it makes you wail even louder. "Ever since you smiled at me. Now, c'mon sweetheart 'n give it all to me. Show's only just gettin' started."

He's guiding you through the most intense orgasm you've ever had as it spirals from a crashing wave into a soon-to-be gushing waterfall. Yes, you've squirted before. But never with such a delightful buildup like this. And he knows you can take it, knows it's what you want as he coaches himself to hold off from his own finale. You let out a hearty moan, shaking at the overstimulation and feeling him twitch repeatedly inside. Almost as if his dick itself is begging for your release so it can do the same.

Your body listens and obeys, utterly charmed by your best friend's cock. Not like that would change the impending fate bound to happen anyway. Your cunt expels him out with a spray that splashes against his abs and drips down his thighs. Chan swears and grabs his length that bobs in the air upon being freed, fingers holding the condom tightly at the base like a makeshift cock ring.

Furiously jerking off just a little bit to reach completion and then he's emptying what feels like a life's worth into the poor condom that can barely contain it. Unlike your pussy that would take it all if given the chance. It inflates, ballooning out and filling up with so much cum it's threatening to pop. As if it wasn't working overtime, straining around the sheer size of his cock.

It's so full and heavy, gravity weighing it down to flop against your folds that squirt out a tiny bit more upon contact that has your legs seizing. Your lower body — now growing numb — was somehow still sustained by Chan's insane one-arm strength until he flops onto you. Bringing you both down onto the wet mess on the bed.

"Get off, you're heavy," you grouch though a dumb smile lights up your blissed-out face.

He laughs breathlessly and rolls onto his side, bringing you into his arms and looking at you with stars in his eyes. You nuzzle into his neck, inhaling his comforting scent you never want to be without now that you've been fully encompassed by it in such an intimate manner. So you wait, feeling the way your hearts both beat rapidly and he takes a deep breath. Chest expanding as his lungs fill with much-needed air after so much exertion.

Anticipation brims from the crown of your head to the tip of your toes when Chan finally asks, "Hey, do you still think size doesn't matter?"

You blink. Once. Twice. Thrice. Definitely not the question you were expecting.

There's a lively spark still dancing in his tired eyes and you match it with a playful smile. "I'm not really sure, I think you'll have to prove it to me a few more times."

"Suppose there's still a lot of condoms we can't let go to waste."

"Aw, you don't want me to make you some balloon animals?"

"That offer is tempting but…" Sneaky hands tickle the swell below your breasts and you giggle, half-heartedly batting him away. "Not as much as you are."

"And you know… there's still a lot of chances to confirm some things while we test out whose theory is right."

"Confirm what, my dear? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I've already staked my claim on what's mine." It's embarrassing how easily Chan can read you, a know-it-all smirk on his face as he cups your warm cheek oh-so-lovingly. "My slutty bestie's the only one who can take my cock like a champ, there's no way I'm letting you go now."

It's even more embarrassing that your heart and sore hole flutter at crude words that totally shouldn't make you feel like a silly fool in love. But because you are, it only makes you fall harder.

"So, you're mine now too?"

"If that's okay with you."

And of course, it's okay with you, you verbally affirm. Feeling his smile against your own when he leans in to kiss you. You'll confirm later that size really doesn't matter. After all, you just happen to be lucky that your bestie-now-turned-boyfriend has a huge cock to complement the equally huge amount of love he has stored for you in his heart.

onlyseokmins: June 2023 ©

#ez.creates #lee chan smut #svthub #svt smut #seventeen smut #dino smut #kpop smut #smut #nana 🦕#ez.mootz #1k 🌟#2k 🎇#svt.smut #3k 🎆

3K notes · View notes

chaotic-toasters · 13 days

Text

Keep in Touch

If you cried, please let me know. I cried while writing this and now I feel like a wimp

Jen Beattie x Teen!Reader Arsenal WFC x Teen!Reader --------------------

You awoke to the creaking of your bedroom door, followed by the dipping of your bed.

"Hey, kiddo," your mam's voice soft, fingers carding through your hair. "Time to wake up. We've got a big day ahead of us."

You cracked your eyes open, blinking rapidly at the light streaming through your window. "Five more minutes?"

She smiled fondly. "Sorry, kiddo. We've got to finish packing, and then we're gonna meet the girls at Colney one last time before they send us off at the airport."

A few months ago, you and your mam had received almost identical offers from the newest team in the NWSL, Bay FC. Your mam had jumped at the promise of something new, but you'd hesitated.

Arsenal was all you'd ever known. You'd grown up in the academy, winning tournaments left and right before signing your first professional contract for the gunners at fifteen years old.

You had memories of Katie chasing you through the Emirates, practicing pens with Kim, and doing media with Leah. If you left, you wouldn't get to make any more of those memories that were so near and dear to your heart.

It was a difficult decision to make, one that your mam assured you was totally up to you. Any of the girls would take you in in a heartbeat if you wanted to stay.

You hated change, and you hated the position Bay FC's offer put you in. Whether you stayed or left, your life wouldn't be the same.

Stay, and be an ocean away from your mam.

Leave, and abandon everything you'd ever known since you were a wee child.

Stay or leave.

Your mam or your found family.

Pain or pain.

Stay.

Leave.

Stay.

Leave.

Realistically, as much as you dwelled on the decision, the choice was made the second you opened your email.

You could never leave your mam. Your mam who never forced you to do anything you didn't want to. Your mam who always made time for you. Your mam who would stay home from matches or training when you were sick. Your mam who always supported you and loved you.

So, you accepted. You accepted the offer to leave the WSL behind, comforted only by the knowledge that your mam would be right next to you the whole time.

It had hurt to accept the California team's offer, a metaphorical knife to the gut, but your teammates had reminded you that you were still in the early stages of your career and could come back later on. That had brought you some sense of relief, knowing that they would gladly welcome you back if you wanted to return.

But now, on the final day of your life in London, it all came crashing down, and you suddenly did not want to leave.

"O-kayyy," you mumbled, rolling off the bed. "When do we leave? To Colney?"

Your mam extended her hand, pulling you up. "In an hour. Get the rest of your stuff, and we'll have breakfast on the way."

-------------------

"He—oof!" You grunted as someone tackled you into a hug, taking you both to the floor.

"I'm gonna miss you, kiddo," Leah's voice wavered. "So, so much."

You squeezed her tightly. "I'll miss you too, Lee. Who'll make fun of your five year-old diet now?"

Katie joined you on the floor, stealing you from Leah's embrace to pull you into her own. "I will, kid. Don't ye' worry."

Leah wiped away a stray tear. "You remember this, Y/N. Once a gunner, always a gunner. You hear me? You'll always have a place hear at Arsenal."

You smiled sadly as yet another one of your teammates stole you for a hug. "Thanks, Lee. I'm gonna miss you all so, so much."

"She was proper crabbit this mornin'," your mam said with a sad smile of her own. "She cried, yelled at me, cried again, then walked into the door frame because she couldn't see through her tears."

"Maaaam!" You turned red as your teammates laughed. "That didn't happen!"

Kim ruffled your hair. "It's okay, sweetheart. You did that exact thing with a goalpost when you were younger."

You tried unsuccessfully to hold in your laughter. "Kimmy!"

Your mam grinned. "Nothin' I'd rather be doing during my last day as a gunner than making fun of Y/N with you all."

Unfortunately for you, that was all that you and your teammates did for the remainder of your time together. Make fun of you. Oh, to be the baby of the gunners.

-------------------

"I don't want you to leave," Kyra murmured, gripping your shoulders desperately as your flight was called. "You're like... my little sister."

You softened at the uncharacteristically wholesome confession, hugging the Aussie who you'd grown so close to tightly. "Keep in touch, Ky. We'll be sure to visit."

"You promise?" you'd never heard Kyra so vulnerable, not even when Australia had lost to England in the Semifinals and been knocked out of the World Cup.

"I promise. I love you."

"I love you too, Y/N."

It was Kim who scooped you up into a hug last, the Scotswoman practically having watched you grown up since your birth. Your second parent in the absence of your father.

"We'll miss you here, kiddo," she whispered in your ear as you tried to hold back tears. It was almost comical, the short Midfielder having to stand on her tippi toes to do so, barely able to reach you even as you leaned down to hear her. "You'd better call or I'm boardin' the nearest fly to San Francisco and takin' you back home."

You patted her on the back before pulling away, averting your eyes before you started bawling. "I will, Kimmy. I will."

As you and your mam boarded the plane, you shoved your fist into your mout to choke back a sob.

Sitting in your seat, the tearful goodbyes of your teammates echoed in your head. They hadn't wanted you to go, and you hadn't entirely wanted go either, torn between two sides, but you'd known this was the right decision. You'd stay with your mam, broadening your horizons and giving yourself more experience.

Staring out the window, you took in the landscape. The English landscape that you'd known your whole life, left behind as you started a new adventure in the United States.

As the plane took off, Leah's voice echoed in your head.

Once a gunner, always a gunner.

#I suck #angsty angst #woso x reader #arsenal women x reader #jen beattie #jen beattie x reader #kim little x reader #kim little #kyra cooney cross #frida maanum #katie mccabe #leah williamson #Stupid bay fc #arsenal women #arsenal wfc

283 notes · View notes

smallgodseries · 11 months

Text

[image description: A tiny Oriole sits cheeping on a branch. But this wee bird has tied a big colorful toucan beak over his own, and added a bright red-orange comb. We see him against a bright green rainforest background. Text reads, “18, YUCAN TU, the small god of faking it until you make it”]

Sometimes education isn’t enough. Sometimes you can study and study and try and try, and never quite cross the last bridge between where you are and your heart’s desire.

Sometimes you need to tell the perfect little lie to get there.

Once upon a time there was a small god of orioles named Yucan who wanted nothing more in the world than to be a god of toucans, to manifest himself as a big, beautiful, tropical bird that people would stop to ooo and ahh over when they saw it in the trees, something impressive. It was a good thing to be a god of songbirds. There weren’t as many of them as there had been before cats became quite so popular as house pets, and the ones remaining needed all the divine intervention they could get their wings on. He appreciated their attention and their worship, but he wanted, so very badly, to be more than his nature was allowing him to be.

So he hatched, over the course of several slow decades, a plan, and one night, with no warning whatsoever, his faithful woke and found him gone. He had abandoned his divine duties, flown the coop, left the nest, and no one could find a single feather left behind! All the little birdies were distraught…but not for very long, as little birdies have short memories, and there were other gods of songbirds around to serve. If it wasn’t quite the same, well, nothing ever is, not even following the same god from one day to another. They adjusted. They adapted.

And far away, a very small god with a very big dream put his plans into action. He donned a false face, he told everyone who met him that he was the god of endangered tropical birds, and if no one had ever seen him before, well, some of those birds were very endangered. Deforestation and poaching, don’cha know? So many dangers to evade. So many fledglings to protect. So he lied, and lied, and pretended, and did his best to live up to his own lies. He protected those who came to him, he spread his wings over the nests of species unknown to science, and he tried, and he lied, and he tried.

Until one day, the mask would not come off when he went to go to nest. One day, he noticed that his wingspan was greater, and he no longer heard the prayers of songbirds, but of the birds he had claimed…and of more than them. Of frightened high school drama students and would-be figure skaters, of novice computer programmers and new-made lawyers.

They had their own lies to tell.

And Yucan Tu would be with them every step along the way, singing goldfinch songs in their ears and spreading his wings to defend them from the risks of their own actions.

He is a god of falsehood, yes, but also of sincerity, and of effort.

___________________________________________________________

Artist Lee Moyer (Trident of Aurelia, 13th Age) and author Seanan McGuire (Wayward Children, October Daye & InCryptid series) sincerely thank to each and every one of you who share Small Gods!

Tumblr: https://smallgodseries.tumblr.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallgodseries/

Homepage: http://www.smallgodseries.com/

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

490 notes · View notes

scotianostra · 4 months

Text

IT'S A PURE DEAD GIVE-AWAY THAT YOU'RE SCOTTISH IF :-

1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine 🌞 as good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing 🕺🏻

every year at secondary school.

4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldyin, baltic...

5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc

6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands.

7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish.

9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin.

10. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas.

11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc

12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'.

13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'.

14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant.

15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc.

16. A jakey has asked you for money.

17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper.

18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'. 💃

19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school.

20. You lose all respect for a groom 🤵 who doesn't wear a kilt.

21. You don't do 🛒 shopping ... you 'go the messages'.

22. You're sitting on the train 🚂 or bus and a 😵 drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'. 🛑

23. You can have an entire phone 📞 conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'.

24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink 🍷 when out - regardless of the circumstances.

25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces 🍞 oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that. Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, 🧀 cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan.

26. You know that going to a party 🥳 at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink.

27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 while you're away.

28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably". ⚽️

29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty.

30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy.

31. You're used to 4 💨 ☔️ ☀️ ❄️ seasons in one day.

32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when your 🥴 drunk.

33. You can fall about 😵 drunk without spilling your drink.

34. You measure distance in minutes.

35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family.

36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean.

🌊

37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words.

38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it.

39. Somebody you know used a football 🥅 schedule to plan their 💒 day date.

40. You've been at a 👰 🎩 wedding where the footie results were read out.

41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas 🍕 kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop.

42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor ⛽️ gas under it.

43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover 😵 cure.

44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals.

45. and, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin", "cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", and "dubble nugget"..

😂🕺🏻🥳

#scotland #scottish #history #funny but true

102 notes · View notes

tickling-giggles · 11 months

Note

may i please have a drabble of ler miles and pav getting revenge on a lee hobie? thank you!!

Cool? More like Cute

TW: wee bit of swearing

———————————————————————-

“Pav let me up” Hobie demanded. “ Eh sorry no can do Hobs” Pav shrugged his shoulders smiling at Hobie who was currently trapped underneath his webs. “Yo Miles can you remove Pav’s webs for me” he called to Miles.

“No dude” Miles smiled at him. “Don’t make me kick both of your asses especially you Pav” He squinted at both of them before looking directly at Pavitr. “Woahhh see me personally, I wouldn’t let no one speak to me like that but hey that’s just me though” Miles instigated.

“It’s okay Miles he’s only acting like this because he’s in his Cool, Emo, Bad boy phase” Pav rolled his eyes smiling at Miles.

“I’ve always been cool and you know it now let me up” Hobie corrected Pav, as he once again demands to be released. “Ah ah ah not until you’ve had your daily dose of laughter” Miles chimes in as he began to tickle his sides.

“Jokes on you kid I’m not ticklish” Hobie scoffed smirking at the boy. “He’s a liar Miles he’s ticklish, you just gotta tickle him here first and then he’ll be ticklish everywhere else” Pav explained as he kneeled down near his feet.

“Pav I swear on spiders if you tickle me I’ll beat you to a bloody pulp” Hobie threaten as he eyed Pav’s fingers wiggling near his foot. “That’s a new one too bad it didn’t work” Pav giggled, as he locked his around his ankle and began lightly scratching his foot.

“P-Piss off Pahav”

“Uh was that a giggle I just heard?” Miles teased. “Sh-shut it kihid Pahahav k-knock it offehe” Hobie began to crack letting his giggles slip out.

“Never this is a adorable moment I can’t let go to waste” Pav giggled as he scribbled faster.

“Stahahap ihihit”

Miles began rapidly squeezing his sides. “Mihihihiles stohohop it ahahaha”. “Why does it tickle too much already?” Miles teased. “Nohoho you suhuhuck at teheheheasing”

Miles took offense to that and by random he just gave his knee caps a quick squeeze which rewarded him some pitchy laughter from hobie.

“hahaAHAHA WAHAHAIT AHAHAHAHAHA MILEHEHEHES” Hobie laughter jumped an octave. “Oh wow now you remember my name?” Miles scoffed.

“How cuteeeee” Pavitr cooed as he began to tickle his neck. “NAHAHAHA SHUT UHUHUP PAHAHAHAV IM NOT CUHUHUTE AHAHA”

“Oh yes you are super cute infact” Pav added on. “AHAHAHAM NAHAHAHAT IM COOL NAAHAHAAT CUHUTE”

“Oh yeah?” Miles smirked as he lifted up his leg and tickled the behind his knees. “OHOHO MY GASHAHAHAHAHAHA *snort* FUHUHUCK YOHOHOOHU AHAHAHA”

“oh my gosh wait that was cute” miles teased shocked at the fact he made Hobie snort. “Cool? More like Cute” Pav teased some more.

“STAHAHHAAP PLEAHAHAHAHASE”

“Ok alright don’t want to be minus a spider-man” Miles giggled as him and Pav ended the tickles.

“Yohou both are so deahad” Hobie giggled as he was catching his breath.

#kiara answers #moot request #lee!hobie #ler!miles #ler!pavitr #Spiderman:atsv tickles #spatsv tickles #spatsv tickle Drabble #spatsv tickling

175 notes · View notes

talesfrommedinastation · 5 months

Text

My redneck neighbor Doug on 'Tribe'

When not turning his home into a giant light hazard for Jesus's Birthday or getting into yelling fights in the alley with Bobby Lee (another redneck neighbor who is a DIE HARD 'Bama fan) about SEC football, Doug's been randomly texting me things about the Jedi.

I'll update y'all on that soon enough. (Plo Koon = Sexy Shrimp Daddy?!)

Meanwhile, here is his review of his favorite episode of Season 2 of The Bad Batch...TRIBE, or as Doug calls it 'Chewbacca Junior and the Weed Business'.

Yes, a random fetch quest one in which Clone Force 99 helps out a random Wookiee kid. His favorite. Don't ask.

Need a Doug refresher? Check it out under Doug Talks Star Wars here.

TW: Doug Doug's as is his Doug-like wont. Hold onto your butts. A little calmer since Daddy Warcrimes is MIA in this one.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So we got Daddy Rambo and the gang making counterfeit licenses for underage drinkers or whatever. You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess, and Daddy Rambo will do a lot of things, but obtaining gainful employment ain’t one of them.

Ryan-from-Accounting is smug as hell about his counterfeiting operation. You’re so smart, Ryan-from-Accounting, why don’t you go to law school and start practicing corporate licensing? At least you can get equity there, ya dingaling.

And Little Orphan Blondie runs away because she’s embarrassed to be seen around them. I get it, kid.

Woah, it’s Chewbacca Junior! Are the lizard and robot people trying to sell him to the circus or something? Oh, he’s a Jedi?! When did this happen, this is awesome! I loved Chewbacca! I love Wookiees! AWESOME!!!

And Little Orphan Blondie is protecting him, go Little Orphan Blondie, go!

I hope they adopt Chewbacca Junior and get him a collar and a nice bed on the floor of the HMS Search Warrant. They need a pet. Little Orphan Blondie can brush him and put bows in his hair! Do you think he uses a litter box?

They’re taking him home, and look! Little Orphan Blondie is giving him her Lunchables. I’m proud of the Dad Batch, they’re teaching Little Orphan Blondie good morals. Oh, poor wee Chewbacca Junior, he has no family and when he talks it sounds like Jimmers when he’s treed a squirrel*.

But Ryan-from-Accounting can understand him! Ya know, I wonder if his helmet can translate Bitch and that’s how Ryan-from-Accounting talks to his Bitch Wife Laura.

It would be awesome if they adopt Chewbacca Junior and he attacks people with his lightsaber. He’s like a pet version of an MR-15! Imagine the DAMAGE his furry ass would do on the battlefield!

Ooh, they made it to Wookieeland! Ya know, it always reminded me of where Jenny and I used to camp in northern California. I wonder if there’s a brewery nearby? I bet Toaster Strudel needs to throw back, that man needs a beer and a restraining order from Daddy Rambo.

Oh SHIT, looks like the bugs from Klendathu made their way down to Wookieeland. Somebody call the Starship Troopers! Oh, wait, they can talk to those things like Dougie Houser did? Woah. Neat.

Looks like the Empire found the Wookiee weed farm and torched it. Poor Wookiees, they’re just trying to make an honest living growing herb. Leave ‘em alone!

Which planet makes meth, my money’s on Tatooine, it looks like New Mexico and that place is meth Disneyland, there was a whole TV show about it.

(Above is...Tatooine?! - Dr Meat Muffin)

Oh man it’s Houma-BBQ-Bitch’s shitty brothers and they’re burning the whole weed operation to the ground. Guess they work for the DEA.

Kick their asses, Wookiees! Now they want Chewbacca Junior, but the Dad Batch is saying FUCK YOU!

Go Dad Batch go! Fire ‘em up! Destroy the tanks! GO JULIO GO! It’s like Apocalypse Now with Bigfoot!

More Wookiees! And they’re riding giant monkey-cats! AWESOME. Man, I feel stoned just watching this episode. Why can't I stop giggling.

Granny Wookiee says come on in and have some weed! Oh, shit, are they doing ayahuasca? Toaster Strudel ain’t having it, but Julio’s down. Julio’s down for anything, he’s probably gonna stick around, use his pipe laying skills, and get some free ganga out of the deal. Man, we all need a Julio in our life. Love him.

Oh, poor Chewbacca Junior can’t find a home. Come on, Granny Wookiee, just let him crash with you guys! He can clip weed on the side, he’s got that lightsaber, let ‘em have it. But first, let’s talk to the trees! Did they take mushrooms before this scene, Jesus Christ this really does take place in Humboldt County, doesn’t it.

Ah, nevermind, the gators that run the DEA are here. With Stormtroopers. Oh shit, are the gators wearing Wookiee pelts while fighting Wookiees? That’s some Silence of the Lambs shit right there.

Welp, time for fire fights, Smokey the Bear does not approve of this episode, especially as one of the lizard men chases Chewbacca Junior and Little Orphan Blondie into the woods with a flamethrower.

Oh shit, there are the bugs! Shit, am I actually cheering on the bugs from Starship Troopers? What is going on here, I’m so confused. Whelp, they’re eating Houma-BBQ-Bitch’s brother, good for them.

Back to Granny Wookiee’s Pot Palace, where Toaster Strudel and Julio throw back her questionable moonshine and smile at each other. If they end up with Wookiee girlfriends, it will be weird, but I will be happy for them.

And Little Orphan Blondie and Chewbacca Junior are talking to the trees, again. Just watching this episode makes me wanna go back to Electric Forest. Except I don’t think Oceana County has wookiees, but it does have crazy people in the woods I guess.

*=Jimmers is Doug’s extremely handsome poodle mix dog. His full name is Jimmers Jimothy Jimerson III and they found him as a stray when he was eating trash behind a bowling alley in Nacogdoches.

Where my Doug fans at? @amalthiaph @eyecandyeoz @merkitty49 @sued134 are the biggest, but let me know if ya wanna be tagged in the next installment!

60 notes · View notes

spunsugarmusings · 2 months

Text

Freakazoid! Starter Sentences

Sentence starters taken from the 1995 animated superhero comedy "Freakazoid!". Some entries have been edited for clarity. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and please enjoy!

"If this were an afterschool special, you would pay a bittersweet price for your little deceit. Like getting big oily zits! Or eating off the same plate as David Lee Roth!"

"You want to see something strange and mystical?"

"SHEESH! YOU'RE A CREEP! GO AWAY! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP!"

"GO HAVE SOME COFFEE, WITH CREAM, OR SOMETHING! BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING: THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE!"

"The scariest thing in the world would be if all the air in the world turned to WOOD!"

"The scariest thing in the world would be if they gave Sinbad another TV show!"

"The broadcasting industry has all sorts of safeguards to prevent that sort of thing."

"I think there's a thumbtack under my fanny."

"Most people your age die. Why won't you?"

"If I wanna blitz myself into some papaya-induced hallucination that's MY business!"

"Can you make slow, overweight birds appear out of thin air?"

"This was only a test. If there had been an actual emergency, we would have gone like this: AAH! HELP! HELP US! NO! GET US OUT OF HERE! HELP ME! HELP EVERYONE! AAH!"

"Hey, so I'm picking up a few bucks. Don't tell the IRS."

"I'm not going down there. It smells like poo-gas!"

"A bowl! I found a bowl! GOOD FOR ME!"

"There's a door not ten feet away. A fine invention. You should try it."

"Don't let me fall into nothingness! I won't be happy there!"

"They called me mad! Insane! WENDELL!"

"You think I've got a clock in my head, don't you?!"

"That's what I just said! Can you hear me or is there a wee goblin in your head eating my words!?"

"This is frightening behavior in adults. I hope none of them touches me."

"When I again rule all, perhaps I'll keep you about as a jester, or a chimp, or something."

"Will you hug me? I'm needy."

"You're very popular in a number of state institutions."

"Get her something a girl would want, like banjo lessons or a new turban."

"Oh, yes, let ME get the tea! I'd hate to see you actually have to walk the three feet through this frightening and mysterious new world we call the kitchen. You might get lost or attacked by the dishwasher!"

"If not, we'll be unemployed!"

"That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones. Works for me!"

"How come you have the IQ of a biscuit?"

"How would you like me to twist your body into funny balloon animal shapes?"

"Hey. Cut it out."

"I went to all the trouble to think up this brilliant plan, the least you can do is chase me around."

"Oh, is he going to get it! I'm very passive aggressive!"

#rp meme #askbox meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #ask box meme #ask meme #starter sentences #sentence starters #starter prompt #freakazoid #freakazoid!

35 notes · View notes

giggly-squiggily · 5 months

Text

An Attack In The Night (Blue Lock)

Hi hello yes HI! :D This is the unplanned but then planned and now after months long delay sequel to "Lessons In English" I had an urge to make Lee!Rin and here we are :D I hope y'all like it!

CW: Swearing

Summary: Rin doesn't take Isagi's threat seriously and lives to regret it.

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@myreygn @cupcake-spice13 @chibisstuff @imjusthere07 @riisada

“If you dare choose to tickle me today, I shall find you in your bed at the wee hours of the night and tickle you until you’re pleading for the Soccer gods to strike you where you stand.”

Rin- looking back at this situation, probably should have taken that threat more seriously.

After the whole English lesson fiasco, the day went on normally. Aryu rambled on about glam, Tokimitsu spent a solid ten minutes debating whether or not he was going into the workout room, Bachira and Isagi were glued to the hip, and Rin just kinda wandered about with his daily regime. At one point they were sat down for more English tutoring, but this time a woman was on the screen guiding them through the worksheets. Anri, was it? Rin couldn’t remember her name but he was grateful nonetheless.

The week went on without incident, and yet Isagi’s little remark hung in the back of his head. Surely he wasn’t planning on actually going through with that? It’s childish and stupid- not to mention it’d wake up the rest of the room.

Bachira he could see going through with it, sure- but Isagi?

No. No way. He probably just wanted to live his little anime protagonist moment. Rin shook his head around his miso soup, annoyed with how much thought he was giving such a dumb bluff. He wasn’t going to do anything.

Isagi caught his eye from a table down, squished amongst his former teammates and Bachira. He smiled, a small polite gesture he was sure.

I shall find you

Rin ruffled, nearly choking on his soup. Aryu looked up from his rice, hand ready to assist. “Don’t die- that won’t be glam.”

“Shut up.” Rin grumbled, standing up and disposing of his tray. At Isagi’s table, Bachira was trying to feed the fast redhead across the table, laughing at his scrunched face of disgust. The lazy guy was half asleep on his phone, mumbling about glazed chicken.

And Isagi- he was still watching him with that same little smile.

So normal and cheery he presented, just happy to see his teammate.

Rin didn’t trust it for a moment.

~~~

Another week went by. As of now- Rin forgot about the whole thing, his thoughts solely focused on the intensive training Ego set for them. The U-20 match was approaching, as was the fateful match with Sae. This was his opportunity to crush him and finally- finally move on. He didn’t have time for any distractions.

….Okay, maybe he had time to occasionally chat with Hiori. The cyan haired man just happened to be there when he was stretching, it didn’t mean anything-

“Die, comrade.” Isagi’s voice was in his ear, sending shivers racing up his spine. Before he could react, he was shoved into his bed, Isagi sitting on him with glittering eyes. “Told you I’d find you, Rin.”

“What?” His head was still dazed from earlier thoughts- body fatigued from both the day’s conditioning and the hot bath he had after. “Huh, what are you-”

It only took fingers pressing into his sides for the threat to resurface.

“I shall find you in the wee hours of the night and tickle you until you’re pleading for the soccer gods to strike you where you stand.”

Well shit.

“Come on now, what’s wrong?” Isagi teased, drilling his fingers into Rin’s ribs as the taller boy pressed his mouth shut, fighting down the laughs. “Too ticklish here?” He moved his hands upward, drawing small circles against his ribs and further breaking his defenses. “Or maybe you’re ticklish…here?”

A prod to his highest rib made Rin spasm, but his lip stayed sealed. Painfully so- he pressed his face into the pillow as he pressed his arms tightly into his sides, shaking his head.

“Wow, you’re stubborn.” Isagi huffed with a laugh, switching to gentle scratching, earning a muffled “ffffffmph!” “I like my rivals to be stubborn, it makes it that much more satisfying to break them down.”

Oh if he lived through this, Rin was gonna suffocate him in his sleep! The bastard looked so smug too- practically drenched in confidence! As if he knew all the answers and was just waiting for Rin to catch up. “A-Ass!” He grunted, the only word he could get out before choking on a laugh, barely keeping it in.

“It’s not healthy to keep it in, Rin. Let it out, laugh for me.” Isagi paused, both for anticipation and because he was genuinely starting to get worried. The green haired teen gasped for air, lungs crying. “Dude, breathe.”

“S-screw…you…” Rin huffed, feeling like he ran a mile. He could get through this- he was used to the feeling now. In a fit of rare boldness, he raised his chin. “Do your worst- you won’t break me.”

Isagi raised an eyebrow. Then he smiled- a dangerous one Rin saw on the field so many times. It was the smile he wore when he smelled a goal, the rush of the game and the plan set in motion.

Oh god…he was so screwed.

“I won’t, huh?” He dropped his hands, resting them on the hem of Rin’s sweatpants. Then, without breaking eye contact, he slowly slid them up and under his sweatshirt, trailing his nails gently along the bare skin. Rin involuntarily twitched- a full body one he couldn’t hide. “We’ll see about that.”

Rin glared, fighting down the blush creeping up his collar. He wouldn’t break- he wouldn’t-

“Gah! Shhhiiihihiihihihit!” Those dastardly hands found his ribs again. Without a layer of cotton to protect him, he was as good as dead. “Iihihiihiisagi, stahahhahhap!”

“Aww, what happened? What happened to not breaking, Mr. Cool Guy?” Isagi teased in a baby voice, kneading and pinching the warm skin in a way he knew would drive Rin mad. “Listen to you laughing so much! Aren’t you a cutie! Yes you are, yes you are!”

“Dohohohohon’t fuhuhuuhuhucking tahahhalk to me lihihihike thahahaht! I’m not a dahahahhamn dohohohohohohog!” Rin argued through his mirth, trying in vain to shove Isagi’s hands out. Every press into his ribcage felt like another cell in his muscles dying- sapping away his strength. “Gehehehhet the heheheheell awhhahahy from thehehehehre!”

“Oh? You want me to change spots? Why didn’t you say so!” Isagi winked. Then he shot his hands up to his armpits.

“GAH!” Rin squawked, nearly punching Isagi with how hard his body flailed. It wasn’t even his worst spot and he found himself laughing hysterically. Damn body sensitivity! “FUHHUCK GEHEHEHHET OUUHUHHUHUHUT!”

“Such a potty mouth! Do I have to get the soap?” Isagi laughed, proud at how flushed and giggly Rin looked. Should he? No, he shouldn’t.

“THAHAKE YOUR SOOHOHOAP AND STIHIHIHICK IT UUHUHUHP YOUR AHAHHAHAHASS!”

Oh yes. Yes he should.

“Tch. You know- back in Team Z- we had a guy who was just. Like. You.” He jabbed at his upper ribs with each word. “He’d tell us the same thing when we tickled him- you know how we handled his ass?” Isagi’s eyes twinkled as he removed his hands, shoving up the hem of Rin’s sweatshirt as he leaned down.

Oh, the look of utter panic on his face! It was so deliciously satisfying. “Oohoho no! No way- get your face away from there! Don’t you do it, don’t-” Rin tried to shove him, but it was too late.

“PFFFFFT!”

“GAH!” It was the only sound Rin could make before his laugh went silent, Isagi’s thumbs pressing into his hips as he blew another loud raspberry against his skin. He slapped at Isagi’s back rapidly- hoping the other would get the message.

Isagi sat up, giggling as he pulled Rin’s shirt back down. “Had enough?”

In response, Rin flipped him off. Isagi pinched his hips. “GAH! Fine fine, you win, now stop!” He cringed as he said it- not used to giving in. Isagi whooped before falling sideways into the bed beside him. “I hate you.”

“I love you too, Rin~” Isagi sang, laughing harder when Rin nearly shoved him off the bed. “Haha, that was nothing! You love me here- I can feel it.”

Rin was about to help Isagi feel something else when a Bachira shaped body crashed into them, earning a chorus of yelps and groans. “I found you! Here you two are, cuddling without me?”

“We’re not- Bob cut!” Rin grumbled as Bachira got comfortable, squishing them all into one clump of bodies. Isagi only shrugged, eyes suggesting he might as well get used to it.

“I hate both of you.” Rin gave up, earning a puff of giggles from the pair.

Okay- maybe he didn’t actually hate them.

Thanks for reading!

#blue lock #tickle #tickle fic #fluff #isagi yoichi #rin itoshi #bachira meguru #bachisagi #Very subtle one sided Riori cause they're my new future ship whoops #tickles for the grumpy boy lols #Rin deserves them

57 notes · View notes

smilingangel582 · 6 months

Text

Afraid of nuthin'

Warning spoilers alert well until Heizou's hangout event and itto story quest

Ps. If u aren't a fan of tickling and friendly things that don't seem more your type and less bizarre, feel free to scroll down... thank you and enjoyyyy my loveliees!

(Lee!heizou and ler!Itto - featuring oopse... *clamps a hand on my mouth* It's a secret and a surprise ending)

***

"Heizouu!"

Startled by the booming voice outside of shimura's restaurant, the young detective Heizou almost spills his tea. It's the third time this month, at least... that Itto gets him to react so differently.

"Itto old chap... Maybe it's better to lower your volume down in public places. " Heizou squints with an assuring expression when the oni steps in almost slipping into a crashing speed at the fragile looking restaurant.

"Oopse, you got it my hombre," he salutes now, walking along with Heizou, who's in fact on his break but rather scavenging for some new intriguing mysteries under Sango's nose.

"Hey buddy," Itto speaks after a few minutes of strolling, probably out if boredom.

"Yes?"

"I'm interested... every instant I see ya, especially during the test of courage," Itto gestures comically as they walk outside Inazuma a bit "you don't seem scared of anything... right?"

Tricky... if he said yes, it would mean Itto will start a troublesome game of finding Heizou's fear, leading to trifling conclusions. Then if he says no... and admit he is. He'll have to spill the impossible. Truthfully, not even he knows what he's afraid... maybe when there will be a day that mysteries won't exist?

"Um... well Itto, I am a human so it might be dramatic to say I'm not scared..."

Either way as Heizou deduced Itto intends to investigate his fear.

Chuckling now "Well, say you are more fearless than an oni, but you are a wee human so I bet you are scared of something..."

Sighing Heizou shrugs and it took quite a while for Itto to even analyse and figure out anything.

Honestly, Heizou's job is still with him himself... no one can take his job. At least the traveller gladly isn't despite having exceptional skills.

"Maybe like me! Is it beans?"

"I'm a human not an Oni..."

Groaning even more Itto pouts a bit. Chuckling at the childish display of the large but kid oni, Heizou professes "Alright Itto, trust me... I'm afraid of somethings but I am not as brave as an oni... does that feel better?"

Oni grins but slightly accepting it. He turns to Heizou and then pokes side. "If I would say you certainly need to eat m-"

"H-hey!" Heizou arcs his back from the touch and backs off, tittering uneasily he states "Itto... space please..."

Curious oni is a dangerous oni, Heizou knew he's skilled to note that about him. Another poke but Heizou prepares by staggering back only to land on his back.

"Heizou? Are you perhaps ticklish?" A look of genuine delight in the discovery.

"H-huh why would you say that I-Itto?" Barely making eye contact.

The oni shrugs but helps him up and slightly offers a playful snicker, "ahh well my compadre you better watchout cause there is someone even scarier than an oni..."

"If you are referring to ghost-"

"Those too but!" He emphasises with a smirk, making Heizou connect the dots before Itto could get to the point. Gently trying to slip away, he stepped back, but Itto caught him without an effort by the arm holding it up as he began his conversation.

"You know who that guy is?"

Gulp, this is not good... if this oni really plans to tickle him, it's the end of his day.

Tactic one, distraction...

"Ah, look at the time... uh... my breaks over Itto... hehe, I better head ba-ahahack!" He poked his ribs now.

Failed... abort! Abort!

"Shikanoin Heizou, you will get a visit from the tickle monster!!" As if he never heard a single word from Heizou since that topic. Fingers immediately dug into his bare sides, beginning his attack properly.

Maybe he should consider a change of clothing since Lumine enjoys poking him here and there.

"Ahaha wahait aha, maybe hehe, I am ticklish buhuhut... ihihits nohohot ahaha feheheeear!" Pushing his hands off slightly averting his eyes to see if there's a crowd watching him struggle to escape a child oni.

Itto's strength is commendable when he pins both his small wrist above his head "Heizou, look here bro, fear of tickles is something everyone has tho some tend to enjoy it...buuut" his fingers lightly tracing his stomach now heizou feels determined to admit he's got a fear of the tickle monster -or rather tickle oni.

"Well you are a detective... might spill a thing or two... right?"

"Aahahahas ihihif a lihihittle tihihickling cahahahan dohoho thahahat!?? Noho, sir!" Heizou's right arm kept pushing him away though with no success.

"Oooooh" mistake, big mistake Heizou realised too late. Too late! He squeaks "NO! Wait!"

Bursts in immediate laughter when Itto tickles his under arms. Itto nods casually "I see, so you are not afraid of the tickle monster making you spill the tea... my bro, if you promise to say the word Onikabuto I'll let you go... but that means you will submit to this little interrogation method..."

Since when did this Oni became soo... evil? Or bad? Heizou was too busy struggling the tickles that are total torture under his arms. He shakes his head "SEHEHERIOUSLY IHIHIHITTOO NOHOHO MORE GAHAHAHAMES... LEHEHET MEHEHE UP!"

"Armpits huh?" Itto snickers enjoying this waaaay more than the victim. Heizou can't even tickle back due to the struggles he wasted. "Well tell me what's the password! Come on little guy... I'll let you go if you say that... hmmm?"

His fingers slowly crawl down, making Heizou giggle but laughing less, as they remain on their sides still tickling. He squirms and yelps "Ack! Ihihittooo! Plehehease!"

"Begging? Alright not so tough now wittle detective... you sure are cute for someone who's not afraid of nuthin'!"

Itto won't shut up. Is this for real? Is Heizou the detective resistant to any torture gonna go submissive against tickling? No way...

Heizou squeals now feeling the fingers crawl up again "AHAHA haha whahahahat thehehe?"

"Incyyy wiiincyyyy Oniii went uuup the ticklish sideees!"

"Nohohohot thahahaaat ohohoho myyy ahahahrchoons!" Heizou blushes furiously. Especially when Itto is singing this version very loudly for the whole town to hear. No! Just yhat alone is intolerable!

"AHAHAH ok ok!!!! Noho more singing!" He panics when the fingers swiftly reached his armpits not even tickling "OK! EEEHEHE IHIHI UHUHUHU OHOHONIKABUTOOO! I SAID IT I SAID IT!"

Itto burst into laughter now hitting his own thigh "Ohooo my! Yohou can't stand thahat can ya!"

"Uhuhunfair... it wahas embarrassing..."

"But you had fuuuun compadre??"

Looking at the excited oni he sighs with a giggle "OK ok... I did,"

"It certainly looked like it"

The familiar windy light voice makes Heizou's blood run cold. He turns to see the anemo vision holder Kazuha.

"K-k-kazuha! What b-brings you he-hear?" Heizou stammers immediately, blushing more at the sight of his former target and now close friend standing there with a fond smile. Smiling even eider Kazuha gestures to the crux fleet. "A trip back to my home again, of course, wanderers may wander, but i also wonder..." leaning forward over Heizou's face."What my dear friend is doing, as a detective that's intriguing..."

Itto applauds with sudden excitement but also getting their attention "My bro your poetic!"

"Why thank you... I see you discovered my friends weakness,"

Itto chuckles "Lil dude be going 'I ain't afraid of nuthin' so I found out he's scared of the tickle oni!"

Kazuha's airy light laughter suddenly draws the wind. "Whyy, he's adorable, isn't he... squealing at his age...?"

"Kaaazuuu, please..." Heizou grabs his hand to stop him, "Itto let's give Kazuha a tour, and we'll introduce you to his heroic actions. " he pulls him away instantly to avoid further vociferous teasing on him.

They were already leading ahead, and Kazuha poked him teasingly about the initial incident, making the detective more embarrassed.

Meanwhile...

"Waaaait..." Itto still ponders and murmurs."Such a familiar nameee, Kazu... kazuha... Kaeda... oh!" and then he runs after them suddenly, recalling"

"Mutso no hitotachi!!!! Waaaaait, I want to fight ya too! Wait, uppp!!!"

(A/N:Sorry about the spelling. I can't remember it... the end, thanks for reading)

#tickle fic #genshin impact #genshin impact tickle #cute #lee!heizou #ler!itto

52 notes · View notes

egregiousderp · 1 year

Note

what does wee lees yes mean? I've always wondered

Hey, anon!

Wee Lees Yes is up in my bio as my safe/encouragement tag. It started out after I joined a Rock Lee Discord and found out it was…mostly teenagers. XD

After a bit of fluster and asking them if it was still okay for me to be there, we became friends.

Broad ranges of age groups aren’t that uncommon among my friends. My oldest friend is Ninety and I’ve known her since I was about eighteen. My youngest friends are about sixteen. Plenty of people my age have children, and some of them are teens by now, and it just…kind of happens when you mostly hang in niche groups by interest, or do stuff as groups in places where your families are. The kids join in or the parents join in pretty organically if you tabletop game or do board games. (I’ve got like. Two seventy year olds I follow on tumblr and their fandom posts or crafting posts are always *Really Interesting*. Different generations consume content and produce content in different ways but that’s…digressing.)

Since I used to have a cluster of minors following me, I started making a tag specifically for them full of Safe Things.

Usually these involved animals (like capybaras—usually chilling in the presence of other animals. Which seems to be…my designated symbol on the part of the Wee Lees.) or useful life posts of things I wish I’d had when I was a teen or…dad jokes. (Because I’m “Dad”. Which is…another long story.)

The three remaining Wee Lees, Frange, Alu, and Nino are all in their twenties now, but I still have all the infrastructure for encouraging posts or…posts that would be safe for a minor to follow if they stumbled on my blog and wanted a hand-tailored tag that’s safe for them.

It’s…basically rooted in the same reason my unsafe tag is “Wee Lees No” and not one of the more common unsafe tags.

Tumblr over the years has had a habit of deleting or restricting certain tags, so I wanted to be sure a less safe tag would still be searchable but also very clearly marked so people could avoid OR seek it out. (Tagging things as NSFW for a while meant they didn’t show up at all.)

I also trigger tag things by request so sometimes you see a whole tag for something like “Not Safe For Cams” in addition to “tw: arachnophobia” because the viability of the more commonly used tags fluctuates depending on current censorship on the site.

Redundancy tends to keep people safe when you don’t know if you can trust something common, but unusual tagging also gives people the option to consume content without necessarily following me as long as they understand my intentions and want what the tag has to offer.

It also means people don’t have to reveal their ages or personal info for me if they’re just trying to take or consume what they want. Because…I’m from that kind of generation of internet safety, and I’m really not that reliable at bio-checking anyway.

#hope that helps. I usually have to answer this every once in a while #I could have used safety tags growing up ace I can tell you that much XDDDD #Skuun answers #wee lees yes

5 notes · View notes

onlyseokmins · 1 year

Text

tipsy • l.s.m.

Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship!au, drunk/tipsy (consexual) sex

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, oral (m&f receiving), multiple orgasms (reader), wee bit fingering, banter, unprotected sex and cumming inside, and them just being tipsy drunk and so sickeningly in love 🤢 as always pls lmk if i missed smth

WC: 3.5k

A/N: thank you for your utmost patience @katetattoolover 🥺❤️ I hope this finds you well and you enjoy this, I adore you <3 as this is a request, there isn't a taglist FYI my tagging lovelies 🫡 anyways I think I lost my touch but I hope y'all enjoy this after not posting for a hot second

"What's two minus one?"

"… One?"

"Yeah, you're my number one and the love of my life."

Drying off your face, you sneak a peek at your boyfriend staring intently into the large mirror of your shared bathroom. "Are you flirting… with yourself?"

He gasps, affronted. "No! 'm in a very committed relationship with someone special, thank you very much. Can't you see?"

When his arm waves vigorously to the side, all you can do is stick your tongue out at your own reflection he's gesturing toward. "Yep, that's me!"

"No, you're a figment of my imagination trying to seduce me. Kept staring at me all night, 'm not stupid."

"That's 'cause you're hot."

He was. Seokmin's best look was a white dress shirt and jeans. And the way he kept loosening the buttons as he relaxed further into the evening with more and more glasses of alcohol made him all the tastier. How could you not stare at the man that was all yours?

"You're a demon," your partner continues to grouch and then turns to face the real you with a very, very serious look on his face. He's lucky you're just starting to sober up enough so you won't accidentally burst into laughter, at least cognizant enough of his feelings that were extremely fragile at the moment. "Now this is the real thing."

Brushing back dark wet bangs with your fingers, you can't help but smile when he leans into your touch. "I'm just a thing?"

"No! You're more than a thing… you're… you're…"

You can practically see the gears struggling to turn in his brain. "This is why I told Jeonghan to stop topping off your glass 'cause look at you now, baby, you're so drunk."

"'m not drunk, 'm Seokmin."

"Yes, yes you are."

"And I was excited."

"You were."

"And I'm so so so so proud of you."

You gaze into his shiny brown irises that hold galaxies of love for you. The same ones you kept meeting as they followed you around the room after Joshua pulled you away so the group could congratulate you properly for all of your hard work. Looking at you with so much pride and adoration that you returned, causing your friends to jokingly gag at how in love you both were. The beautiful eyes that crinkle up in a gorgeous eye smile when you've had a long day, gauging your movements with concern to try and provide whatever comfort he can.

Those lovely and familiar orbs now look like they might shed tears at any moment.

You pat his flushed cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I just love you lots."

"I love you too, Seok, so don't cry." You stagger back when he buries his face in your neck, thrown off by the sudden weight because you're still a little tipsy yourself.

"'m not crying."

"Maybe we should go lay down now?"

He nods and releases you from his grasp — thankfully — and you can't help but chuckle at the mixture of water and tears that shine on his skin. After wiping them away, you take his hand in yours and lead him into the bedroom.

"Why don't you seem drunk?"

"'Cause someone kept drinking from my glass."

"I'll beat their ass."

You quirk an eyebrow at him teasingly. "So you'll beat your own? Kinky, didn't know you were into that."

His mouth opens and closes like a fish before he shouts, "That's because!", before clearing his throat and repeating quieter. "That's because 'Han kept filling it up when you weren't looking."

"Yeah, he was a real gremlin tonight, probably had everyone drinking double what they should be while Cheol and Gyu only enabled it by splurging on a crap ton of alcohol."

In the end, no one really meant any malicious harm. They wanted to celebrate with you and Seokmin at your house, bringing over a truckload of food, drinks, and a vast amount of different shit only twelve men plus their partners managed to get their hands on. Still, over half of them had passed out before midnight and it took well until two in the morning for the entire crew to sober up safely and leave a little bit ago.

Even the waters you and Seokmin had been sipping on since didn't alleviate the buzz that still rang in your ears. However, that didn't really matter as you tumble into bed together. It was soon drowned out by muffled giggles and eventual light snores when you both dozed off.

You wake up not much later, feeling extra warm. The covers have all ended up wrapped and tangled around you. Seokmin must be feeling the same, the robe he'd had on earlier discarded on the floor. Shirtless, his bare back facing you is illuminated by the moonlight slipping through the curtains. As if under a spell, you can't help but reach out and trace light circles along his shoulder blades with your nails.

"You up?" he asks and turns to sleepily smile at you when your movements halt, "hi."

"Hey, you."

"I'm hot."

"Yeah, you are."

"No," he pouts, "I'm like super warm."

After placing a hand on his forehead, a frown slightly turns your lips downwards because he is heating up, sweat glistening at his hairline. "Are you feeling okay? Here, let me go get you — "

"Stay," a warm hand grabs at your arm before you can move away, "make it better."

"That's what I'm trying to do, doofus."

"Mhm, but you know how you can help me, right?" Seokmin brings your fingertips to graze along his chest with a lazy grin. "You'll make me feel alright again, yeah baby? Do it for me?"

He's released his grip but your fingers continue to trail downward, snorting as his smirk grows wider. "If you wanted to get sucked off so badly, all you had to do was ask."

"I did tho, didn't I?" His eyelashes flutter when you start to play with the waistband of his boxers. "I was a good boy, right? You always know what I need."

It's a little ironic, really. Although you're simply teasing each other, it's very rare for your boyfriend to give in to his own wants and needs, even during sex. He's a pleaser, a giver, and a dedicated lover. So, it's no surprise to feel an overwhelming ego boost when he's pliant beside you, asking sweetly for your touch with puppy dog eyes no one can resist.

"You're always so good to me," you assure and lean to peck at his lips, minty breaths mingling together. Then you're marking his jaw with kisses that trail down his neck, underneath his pecs, past his abs, and lower and lower until you're sliding off his boxers. "Gonna treat you like you deserve, baby."

His soft "thank you, love" melts into a desperate whine when you finally unclothe him and wrap your hands around his cock. It lies hot and heavy against your palm causing you to instinctively lick your lips, jaw already aching. Meeting his lidded gaze that's simply waiting for your next movement, you can't help but giggle when he raises an eyebrow at the mischievous way you smile before blowing lightly at his hardening length.

"Hey!" Seokmin yelps, hips jerking up in shock, "what was that for?"

"Just cooling you down, babe."

"Don't tease me," he huffs in indignation before lifting his pelvis up on purpose, brushing the head of his cock against your bottom lip. "Please."

When the love of your life begs so sweetly like that, who are you to resist? Licking the smear of precum left behind ignites a hungry spark that glints in your eyes — and you give into what you both want.

Your tongue eagerly laps up the leaking salty excess as your lips wrap around his sizable girth. Alternating between sucking, licking, swirling, and even grazing your teeth carefully along the underside of his cock as you work him deeper and further into your mouth. It's sloppy and pornographically loud. No rhyme or reason with the way your brain is still muddled with the faint buzz of alcohol and sleep, mixed with a lot of good, horny feelings.

Seokmin loves it best that way… if his whimpered praises are anything to go by.

"God, baby, look how gorgeous you are like this. Treat me so well always, love you so much, shit… best thing that ever happened to me."

Head thrown back to display how his Adam's apple bobs when he feels the way your throat constricts around the tip before you pull off slightly. His hips unapologetically take on a mind of their own, gently thrusting back and forth to hear more of those pretty gagging sounds you make for him.

It feels too good and he's afraid he won't be able to stop. Seokmin knows you'll tap his thigh if you need a break but you're as far gone into it as he is. Moaning freely, pussy clenching painfully around nothing, and drooling saliva that leaks all the way down his balls. You don't want him to stop, crazed by how he's using you like his perfect little toy to get off.

But he pulls away all too suddenly — mainly to let you breathe — but before you can reach back out to take him into your mouth again, he's pulling you up by your shoulders. Stealing your breath again but this time with a kiss. Gently soothing your abused mouth with soft licks and pecks, humming in contemplation.

"This what I taste like?"

"Mhm, pretty yummy, huh?"

Your boyfriend thinks it's sexy that you like it but — there's something he obviously enjoys more. "It's alright, I guess… I prefer having you on my tongue instead, though."

You should've known what was coming next but you still squeal in surprise when he's urging you out of your sleep shorts and underwear. Muttering something about "gotta eat this pretty pussy out" before he's commanding you to sit on his face.

You're a little caught off guard by the delay of his pleasure but all you can do is obediently position your thighs around his head, slipping back into the standard mode of operation that Seokmin usually revels in anyways.

One of your hands flies out to support your weight, gripping onto the headboard while the other threads through his bangs because your man might be a little too excited to stick his tongue inside.

"Aw baby," he practically growls, "look at how nice and wet you are from just a little sucking on my dick." The vibrations cause you to shiver and you feel his lips quirk up in a devious smirk at that. "Cute."

His tongue runs along your folds with little kitten licks paired with harsh sucks. He's awfully eager for someone who has eaten you out many times before but that's simply because he's addicted. The groans Seokmin makes put your earlier noises to shame. You might've been embarrassed if your own loud moans weren't drowning him out.

"Fuck, Seok… you're so good at this," you pant and rock your hips, grinding down just a little.

He grunts in approval, appreciation, and acknowledgment. It's more than true. Even when he was new at giving oral, his efforts and features made up for whatever uncertainty he held.

You would continue to suck him off while he ate you out if possible. But the way his nose brushes and nudges against your clit just right as it always does… you've never thought to switch up positions. What a shame, really.

It takes everything in you to lean back. Seokmin is none the wiser, thinking you're only shifting in the heat of the moment for more enjoyment until your hand fumbles for his cock behind you. He jolts at your touch, tapping your thigh. You struggle to lift up, barely any strength thanks to your trembling thighs.

"What're you doing?"

"Wanna jerk you off."

"Yeah?" he snickers, naughty fingers stroking your outer pussy lips to gather up your wetness before slipping inside to replace his tongue for a bit. It's the absolute fear of potentially crushing his windpipe that prevents you from ultimately collapsing (and maybe the strong hand on your hip). "But I wanna feel you wrapped around me and I don't mean your hand."

"What are you gonna do about it then?" you challenge. As if the smirk on his face doesn't exist when you clench tightly around his three fingers at the mere mention of his cock inside you. They curl up to brush against the bundle of nerves that causes you to writhe in pleasure.

Seokmin watches you with a lazy grin. Although love always shines in his eyes, lust is overtaking that wholesome glimmer with a carnality that has you shaking without even reaching a climax yet. He knows this and relishes it.

"What am I doing about it? Hmm, I think I'll have to make sure you cum at least once so you can take my dick properly. Gotta loosen you up, like the loving boyfriend I am." His fingers begin moving at a rapid pace, taking you by surprise. With a squeal, you nearly drop right down on him. "Isn't that right, baby?"

"Ah…. yes!"

He nudges you forward a little bit, satisfied with your response. Pulling his hands away from your body completely, you feel the bundle of nerves snap just as he releases his grip. Your orgasm hits the minute Seokmin's lips meet your lower ones and you both moan in tandem. Loud enough to rival a porn star when he starts sucking like a heathen and laps up the wetness that spills out of your hole with your release.

You clamber off of him — very ungracefully — and flop down on your side, trying to catch your breath. "You're insane."

"You love it."

"Just because you think you're right, doesn't mean you have to say it."

Seokmin grins and licks his fingers clean before they softly cup your cheek. When he turns to face you, his cock slaps lightly against your thigh, reminding you he hasn't cum yet. But he's in no rush, leisurely kissing you before it deepens and you taste each other on both of your tongues.

"I'm always right," he mumbles, tongue brushing across your lips, "because you do taste the best between the two of us."

You slap his arm. "Stop!"

"You didn't deny it so I win."

"Do you want to fuck around and not have sex or would you rather I go to sleep?"

"Now, now," he chastises sweetly and nudges you so your back is pressed tightly against his firm, broad chest. "Be nice, sweetheart."

You roll your eyes. "I can't with you, oh my go — "

But your "Omigod" changes from annoyed to breathless when his large, warm hand fondles your chest while the other teasingly nudges the tip of his cock between your folds.

"What were you saying?" Seokmin mocks in a sickeningly sweet voice but you can only moan in response. "Uh-huh, that's what I thought."

He's tortuously slow. Although, it's not entirely on purpose. He's still too out of it to have the energy to change positions and even as much as he enjoys watching you bounce yourself silly on top of him, he figures you don't have the strength to do so.

But this is somehow even better. You gasp, feeling every single thick, long, big inch of him enter you while pressing hot kisses against the back of your neck.

"You're so pretty," he murmurs once he's bottomed out. The two of you stay still like that, simply reeling in the emotional connection — emotionally and quite literally — wrapped in one another's warmth. "My love."

"I adore you. Sometimes. More often than not."

He chuckles. "Is that so?"

After a while, you're wiggling your hips and signaling to your boyfriend that he can move if he wants to. You're honestly impressed with his control, wondering how long he plans on prolonging his raging boner. Not that you're complaining. You're more than happy to cockwarm him at any time around the clock. But it has to be slightly painful to stay hard for that long.

Seokmin's thrusts aren't rushed but they're by no means set in a smooth, consistent rhythm, betraying his desperation. It might just be the alcohol canceling out any sharp movements and it makes you consider having sex a little bit more often this way. Indulging in an open-mouthed kiss that's equally as relaxed and sensual as his pace, you could almost fall asleep again in the most delicious way.

But of course, Seokmin is having none of that.

"You can give me one more right, baby?"

"Mhm."

His hand leaves your breasts, easily finding your clit. Playing with it languidly, just enough that you're buzzing with anticipation but not enough to tip you over that edge quite yet. Your partner likes to think that he knows your body extremely well by now. And he thinks he enjoys finding out how you respond in this position, pressed against him in such an intimate way.

He loves eye contact, the expressions you make on your pretty face, the way you grip and mark up his back and biceps with your nails. But now, Seokmin can feel how you tremble in his arms, the tiny shift in movements when you unconsciously grind your ass across his abs every time you take his cock deep inside your perfect pussy. Fingers tugging on the tiny hairs on his neck, encouraging him to nibble on the top of your shoulder.

And when — oh, god — when you release the grip on his strands of hair and place your hand over his that's remained stationary the whole time on your hip bone, interlocking your digits together — he thinks he might cum on the spot.

Both his balls and heart are heavy and full of an incredible amount of love for you. He admits it repeatedly in your ear, thrusts turning more into a sloppy, erratic mess as he gives into chasing his high.

"Adore you so much, god, you're everything to me. You know that right?"

You grip the bedsheets with your other hand when you feel yourself start to jostle and slide upwards at his movement. "Love you too. So much, baby."

"Can you cum for me one more time, my pretty love? Soak my dick so I can fill you up nicely?"

"Yeah, I can. I can do it."

Your tongues tangle again, this time with a bit more aggression as you both help each other reach that peak. You reach your second climax first, not as intense as before but enough that you're clenching so tight around Seokmin and dripping down his aching cock as asked that he has no choice but to finally snap and let go.

The sounds he makes are pussy-fluttering, a breathy, drawn out moan directly in your ear followed by a low, satisfied grunt. His hips never falter until every drop is spilled inside, filling you up just as he promised. It's as warm and thick as the alcohol working itself out. You feel drowsy and sated in the best way possible.

Your dedicated, hard working lover must feel the same because he hasn't moved. Of course, he hasn't let go of your hand, body clinging to yours, softening cock still inside you as he sighs in content and nuzzles your neck.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah."

You try to wiggle out of his grasp but he doesn't let go. "Seok, we need to clean up."

"'m tired."

"Well, Mr. Sleepyhead, we can rest after."

"We already showered, though."

"A cold one will make you feel good." Despite the way Seokmin still feels extremely hot to the touch, little goosebumps prickle along his skin at the mention of a cold shower. You pat his forearm. "I'll help you wash up."

"Okay."

It's a relief he acquiesces, knowing it would be difficult to escape his grip if he decided not to budge. His cheeks are still flushed cutely but you have to snort at the way his skin manages to glow so handsome and perfectly with that after sex, post-orgasmic effect.

"No shower sex," you threaten.

He pouts. "I dunno what you're talking about. 'm literally too tired to even move. Who knows, you might be the one to jump me."

"I would never! Besides you're the one who's always surprising me but either way you're going to have to get up." You roll over and stand, pulling at his arm when he refuses to release his grasp on your hand. "C'mon, babe."

"Alright, alright." He's about to make a comment of how energetic you are until he sees you wince and limp a bit toward the bathroom. You know he knows but choose to ignore his smirk. "Does sex help prevent hangovers?"

"I have no idea but I've heard it's supposed to help with headaches."

"Let me know if you have one tomorrow."

"Seokmin!"

"'m just saying."

"You're gonna fuck me either way. But we're sleeping in, it's already like five in the morning."

"You're right. On both accounts."

You hand him a glass of water with a scowl. "You can be so annoying."

"But you love me."

"Lucky that I honestly really do. Now come here so I can wash your hair."

"Yes, yes right away, love."

#ez.creates #lee seokmin smut #lee dokyeom smut #seokmin smut #dokyeom smut #dk smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #svthub #kpop smut #kate 🥝#ez.mootz #1k 🌟#svt.smut

2K notes · View notes

satin-the-long-furby · 6 months

Text

Furbydictionary

English Furbish

Above/Up/High Oo

Affirmative Ee

Again/Another/More Koh-koh

And Koh

Ask Oh-too-mah

Baby Bay-bee

Bad Boo-dah

Be/To be Boh

Beautiful/Pretty Ee-kah

Best fun/Radical Dee-doo-ay

Big Dah

No!/Big no Dah-boo

Big yes Dah-ee-tah

Birth/Birthday Tee-toh

Birthday Toh-toh

Boring Koo-dah-way-loh

Bottle Bah-bah

Change Boo-tay

Cloud Ay-loh-may-lah

Come/coming Bye-bye-oo-bah

Complete Toh

Cute Doh-dee

Dance Noh-lah

Delicious/tastes good Yumm-wah

Diamond Ay-koo

Dizzy Ay-way

Do Doo-dah

Dog Bar-bar

Done Toh-dye

Down Nah-bah

Dream Way-loo

Dude Dee-doh

Face Kay-tay

Feed/Food Ah-tah

Finally Oo-Tah-Toh-Toh

Friend/Buddy Noo-lah

Full Oo-loo

Fun Doo-ay

Funny Doo-loo

Game Doo-ay-loo-lah

Game over Kah boo Koo-doh

Genius Dah-way

Give Tah

Go/Bye/Get out Bye-bye

Good/Okay Ee-day

Good morning Dah-ay-loh-oo-tye

Good night Dah-ay-loh-nah-bah

Happy Noo-loo

Have Ah-mah

Health/Healthy Koo-doh

Help Ah-noo

Hey Hey

Hide Woo-bye

High Oo-tah

hmm?/huh?/when?/

where?/yeah?/what?

Doo?

Home Lay-lah

Hug May-lah

Humor/Play/Joke Loo

Hungry/Eat Ay-tay

Interrogative Doo

Island Koo-wah

Joke Loo-loo

Just kidding/Not Kah-loo-loo

Kiss May-tah

Life/Nature/

Living things

Tee

Light Ay-loh/A-loh

Lightness Ay

Like Toh-loo

Like/Similar to/comparative Tay

Listen Ay-ay-lee-koo

Little/Smallnesss Dee

Live Boh-dah

Log Tee-loh

Look Ay-ay

Love May-may

Love it Dah-may-may

Maybe May-bee

Me/Mine/Myself/I Kah

Money Moo-lah

Monster Moh-moh

Mountain Koo-dah

Move Noh-bah

Music Ee-kah-lee-koo

Negative/No/Stop Boo

No Way/Big No Dah-boo

Noise Bah-boo

Now Nee-way

Oh Oh

Oh my gosh/OMG Oh-kah-tee

Ok Oh-kay

Over Oo-bah

Party/party time Dah-no-lah

Path Bye-way

Pet Ah-may

Play Loo-lay

Please Doo-moh

Pull Ah-loo

Rain Wah/Wah-wee-tee

Receive Tah-tah

Really?/Seriously Loo-loo-doo?

Rock (music) Boo-koo

Rock (nature) Koo

Sad Boo-noo-loo

Scared Dah-boh-bay

Sea Ee-wah

Shake Koo-bah

Sing Wee-tee

Sleep Way-loh

So Doh

Song Wah-tee

Sound Lee-koo

Stand Oo-boh

Story Wee-loo

Sun Dah-ay-loh

Sweet Nee-may

Tail Dee-tee-tah

Talk Noo-Noo

Tell Wee-tah

Thank Dah-kah

Thank you Dah-kah-oo-nye

That's right Boh-ee-tay

Thinking/Mind Way

Tickle Nee-tye

Time Toh-toh

Touching/holding Ah

Touch Tay-boo-koo

Tree Tee-tah

Twinkle Tee-wee-lah

Uh-huh Uh-huh

Uh-oh Uh-oh

Uh-uh Uh-uh

Uncle Oo-kah

Very Mee-mee

Wassup? Doo-oo-tye?

Water/Rain Wah

Water Wah-tah

Where are you? Oo-nye doo?

Whoa Whoa

Wise/Wisely Way-lah

Wonder Way-nah

Worried Boh-bay

Yay Yay

Yea! Wah!

Yes Ee-tay

Yippee Yippee

You Oo-nye / U-nye

Did I take this straight from the wiki? Yes I did.

#furby #furblr #safe furby #furblur #safefurby #furbys #furby community

29 notes · View notes

queeniecook · 1 month

Text

November 17

"Today's the day, Annabel Lee! Dakota and I get to find out if we're having a boy or girl!" Jillian exclaims excitedly, hugging the feline closely to her and listening to the cat purr. It almost seems the cat is as excited as she is.

So far, Jillian's pregnant has been going well. There's been some morning sickness but nothing too bad. All her appointments have gone good. She was worried at the start of her pregnant journey that it may drive a wedge between her and Dakota but the opposite has happened. She feels closer to him than ever and her love for him has continued to grow.

An hour later ~

Dakota and Jillian are in the appointment room, waiting for their baby to come into view on the ultrasound screen.

"There the baby is." The doctor tells them.

Jillian feels awkward being in her bra and panties in front of a stranger but Dakota being there helps.

"Does everything look okay?" Dakota asks, a bit worried. They've made it this far but he knows pregnancy is not a full guarantee you'll end up with a child.

"He looks good! Heart beat is strong." The Doctor assures them before it fully hits the couple what the Doctor said.

Jillian gasps as Dakota sits there, barely moving. "A boy? Our little bunny is a boy???"

"Yes, Miss Ambrose. You are expecting a little boy." The Doctor confirms to her before pointing out a very important piece of evidence to support his claim on the screen.

Somehow the news that he's expecting a son with Jillian has really made Dakota think. Think back to how he never got to have a Dad. He never got to do all those Father and Son things you're supposed to experience as a kid. He vows that isn't going to happen with his son.

A half hour later ~

On the way home from the hospital, Jillian wants to swing by her parents house to share the news with them. Since they moved to Brindleton Bay, it's become much easier for her to visit her family. Dakota on the other hand is still trying to get used to the idea of them living in Vera's old house. The fact that he's had sex in that house with Vera is something he intends not to reveal to Jillian or anyone else for that matter.

Jillian runs into her father in the kitchen first, the smell of food making her drool though she's not used to seeing her Dad cook.

"Hi little wee one, it's your Grandma Denise!!" Denise is over the moon with the idea of getting to be a Grandma. It doesn't make her feel old at all, it makes her feel happy.

"Where's Andrew?" Jillian asks, as her Mom pretty much focus all her energy on Jillian's baby bump.

"He's out with friends." Denise responds, still waving at her daughter's stomach.

Even though Jillian really wants her little brother there for the reveal, she still can't hold back from telling her parents she's expecting their grandson. Garrett and Denise are excited and start making plans for the baby to learn basketball on the hoop they set up out back. Even if it is way too early for such a thing.

#the grant legacy #ts4 legacy #generation 2 #dakota laws #jillian ambrose #annabel lee gates #denise ambrose #garrrett ambrose #ts4 #thesims4 #sims 4 #sims4 #jakota #jillian and denise #ts4 story #sims4 story #simsstories #sims4 storytelling #ts4 pregnancy

13 notes · View notes

simplysmilingdrew · 2 years

Text

You're in a big trouble!

BNHA tickle fic

Lee: Kaminari

Lers: Mina and Jirou

A/N: This fic was really hard to write. I wanted to write something important, about friendship, fears that everyone can experience in a way or another, and seeing the positive sides of ourselves, because a mistake we often make is to underestimate ourselves. Hope that you will like it. English is not my first language so, if you find some mistakes, please tell me and I will correct!!

“Hero too, I am a hero too! My heart is set and I won’t back down!”

The song had been echoing in Kaminari's ears for at least half an hour.

He was relaxing on the couch of the common room with headphones on, listening to that beautiful song.

It reminded him how much fun they had at the school festival; how much they had worked hard to make an unforgettable show; how beautiful Kyoka's voice was…

Yes, he had a crush on the Hearing Hero… but he had never dared to take a step forward in this... after all, his Quirk short circuits and bad grades did not help him with the self-esteem.

He didn't realize he was also humming, but he felt perfectly a touch on his stomach. Kaminari jumped up, his eyes widening: “Hey Mina! What are you doing?”

“Hehehe, I was right! Someone was singing our song.”

Kaminari sat cross-legged: “Was I singing? Didn't notice, sorry. "

Mina smiled: “You must really like it a lot, since you always listen to it. Or should I say… you like Jirou's voice? ”and she winked at him.

Kaminari blushed instantly: “Uuh? N-no no, what are you saying? I simply wanted to relax and this song helps me-”

“Because Jirou is the singer, maybe?” Mina insisted from behind the couch.

Kaminari’s face turned even more red and tried to cover it with his arms: “W-what are you saying? It's just that, uh… it's a special song for me, it reminds me about something we've done all together. Why do you say I like Jirou?”

Mina's black eyes lit up: “Ah-ha!! I said you liked her voice, not that you liked HER…”

Dammit. Kaminari turned purple, closed his face between his legs and wished only to sink completely into the couch and disappear among the cushions. Mina giggled and sat across from him: “Come on, Jemmingway! Just kidding. I didn't mean to embarrass you, but it's pretty obvious that you like Jirou. You’re not that good at hiding your feelings.”

Kaminari's tomato-colored face emerged from his knees: “What? What do you mean with obvious? Did she notice it? Who else knows? Oh my God, I'm screwed!!! "

“Woah there, Sparky! Calm down!! Don't freak out! We of the Squad have noticed it, I am sure of this because we were together! But for Jirou, I don't think so and trust me when I say that, if she knows, we didn't tell her anything. Cross my heart.”

Poor Kami tried to go back to the closest thing that we could call “a state of calm” and, still with his hands in his hair, asked again: “What do you mean with obvious?”

“Well, your eyes light up when you look at Jirou or you talk to her; when she laughs, you laugh with her; you listen to her song as many times as Bankugou screams 'die', so...”

Kaminari let out a chuckle: “Well... you see... you're not wrong... but, I...”

Mina pushed his hair out of his eyes: “Come on, shy one. If you want, you can tell me everything, buddy.” she said imitating his pose.

Kaminari rolled his eyes, made an embarrassed expression, scratched his head and smiled: “Actually, it's true… I do have a crush on Jirou. But I'm afraid to tell her... I'm only capable of making a fool of myselself, I always fail tests and I certainly don't have to remind you of my 'Wee'. And she is… so cute, smart, she has a beautiful voice and I love to see her smile. But... I don't think I'm a guy who she might be interested in…”

Mina sighed: “If we are talking about grades, remember that you have number 19 of the class in front of you. I also fail tests, but I’m not the grade that the teacher writes on the paper, and same goes for you. I am the most agile of the class and I have taught everyone how to dance for the Festival. Even to Iida, Midoriya and Aoyama with their ‘trunk like dancing style’. You're good at mid-range combat and your Quirk is great, both for simply charging batteries, or for saving lives as a defibrillator, if you think about it for a sec.” Mina said.

Kaminari's expression totally changed: “Trust me, if Jirou didn't really like you, she wouldn't even helped you with the guitar lessons. Also... do you want to know a secret?!” Mina whispered.

Kaminari put the ear closer. Mina covered the space between his ear and her lips with one hand: “Hehehe! Jirou sometimes stares at you and smiles. I've noticed this from the Festival!”

Kaminari felt his heart locked in his throat and his mouth dropped open: “What?! Are you serious? No I-I've never noticed!” his face turned again red as a tomato and he covered it with his hands.

She giggled and ruffled his hair: “That's a good thing. I mean, she totally likes you and maybe feeling something for you, but if you didn’t notice her eyes on you, my dear, we have to borrow a pair of glasses from Iida. You. Must. WAKE. UP. AND. ACT!!"

With each word, Mina poked Kaminari's tummy, making him laugh. Then she started to poke him in various spots, all over his torso and under his neck: “Did you understand? You have to move! Come on! Talk to her! Or at least give her a little present, like the choker you gave her after I-Iland. That is now fully integrated in her Hero costume, hehehe!”

Kaminari could not answer back in any way with Mina who kept her attack on every single weak spot: “Hahaha! Stop it Mina! I Gah-hahaha, I got it!”

“Hehehe! You're in a big trouble, Kaminari!” Mina yelled, and she threw herself at him and then tickled him on his hips and sides. Kaminari burst into laughter, throwing himself back onto the couch and arching his back.

“Nonono! Tickle naaahahahaha!!!”

When Mina went for the armpits, he shrieked and let out electric shocks that made his hair stand. Mina laughed with him, surprised by the reaction.

“Hahaha!!! Kaminari, what the hehahaha! What the hell did you do? Your hair!"

“Minahahaha! Plehehehease, dohohohon’t!” he pleaded, trembling.

“Hehehe! I'm sorry, but it's too funny!” and she began to move her fingers so delicately that it was like the touch of a ghost.

Kaminari instinctively closed himself like a hedgehog, and then stretched his legs in the air, kicking a little: "Hahaha! Oh gohohohosh! Minahahahaha!"

“Yes, that’s my name and I know you like light tickles and you're so cute when you giggle like that! Oh! Hey, I know! How about, you ask her for a date at the park? Buy a new pair of airpods for her birthday? Or a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day? Simple ideas that would be perfect!" she exclaimed, still gently tickling him.

“What-hahaha!? Ihihihi, I’m naaahahaha brahahahave enough tohoho ahahahask! I alwahahays froze and I wohohohould panic!" and he began to shake his head frantically from side to side.

Mina stopped instantly.

Kaminari, completely surprised, tried to catch his breath and raised his head to look at her. Mina was staring at him with a dull look.

Kaminari began to worry: “W-what's wrong? Why did you stop so suddenly?”

She pouted and pointed her finger at his nose: “Denki 'Chargebolt' Kaminari! Do you realize what you just said?”

After such a sentence, Kaminari's concern turned into terror: “You faced the USJ Villains. You helped rescue the I-Island hostages. You saved Bakugou and Kirishima from the Shiketsu student. You protected Midoriya and Bakugou from Nine's lightning attack. You played the guitar in front of the whole school and you are one of the few who survived after pulling a prank on Bakugou! Seriously… do you really think that you're not brave enough?”

Kaminari was stunned. Actually, she was right. He wasn't totally a coward, but...

“Mina… thank you for your words. I understand what you mean but... it's different and more complicated...”

Mina pressed her finger against his nose: “Don't you dare contradict me! You ARE brave! Maybe you don't feel ready to talk to Jirou yet, but underestimate yourself, talking only about your failures and defects is wrong! I mean it, never humiliate yourself like this again! Did you hear me?!”

Maybe Mina's reaction was too exaggerated, maybe she was taking the argument too seriously, but looking at Kaminari, she remembered that day... a couple of years ago, when Kirishima apologized for not being able to intervene when the giant Villain threatened her and the other classmates.

For a moment she saw their faces overlap... with the same incredulous expression...

Maybe... those were the words she hadn't been able to say that day ...

The girl took a deep breath and in a serious tone she said: “Now, in the view of the facts and this terrible declaration, I Mina 'Pinky' Ashido, also known as 'Raccoon eyes', I sentence you to the maximum sentence!" and she grabbed his knee as hard as she could: “A minute of tickling in your worst spot!”

Kaminari's eyes became two headlights and he grabbed her arms: “WHAT!? No, you can't do it!”

“Any objections or complaints will not be tolerated!” she said completely serious.

Kaminari started to shake, but also giggling: “M-Mina wait! I beg you! I take back what I said, I swear! I'll buy you all the packages of your favorite candies at the market and even a case of that soda you love! But please don't! I could die here!”

“What did you do so bad, Kami?"

Mina and Kaminari gasped at the sound of the familiar new voice coming onto the scene. Jirou's voice.

The girl had leaned on the back of the couch and she was watching the scene with curiosity: “So? May I know what's going on? Your screams Kaminari could be heard from outside the dorm.”

Kaminari and Mina met their eyes for a second: Mina narrowed her gaze and gave him a little smile; Kaminari was even more frightened.

“Dear Jirou, you came here just in time...”

Kaminari threw himself at her, fearing the worst, in a desperate attempt to protect the secret: “Nononono! Mina don't do it!”

In response, she gently scratched her fingers under his knee and he instantly fell backwards, letting out a laugh.

Jirou became even more incredulous: “What the hell...”

“Now I'll explain everything.” Mina said: “Our dear Pikachu...”

Oh no! Pleasepleaseplease ~

“Practically humiliated himself, talking a lot of nonsense, and this is unacceptable!”

“…What!?” Kami and Jirou asked in unison.

Mina continued, in a serious tone of voice, but with an amused expression: “That's right! He dared to say that he is a good for nothing, that he only makes a fool of himself and he considers himself a coward! He didn't want to hear reasons, despite my attempts to make him understand the nonsense he was saying and I got angry!”

Jiro turned to look at Kaminari: “Dang Denks, what the hell is going through your head? Are you still under the effect of a short circuit by chance?”

He was more incredulous than before, with his mouth wide open trying to formulate any sentence, without success. A marble statue. Not even Aizawa's angry look ever reduced him in that state.

Jirou continued: “Are you convinced of what you said? No wonder that Mina wants to punish you. None of us have ever thought of you as weak or a coward. Not even Bakugou, trust me.”

Kaminari raised an eyebrow: “Dunce face?”

Mina rolled her eyes: “That doesn't count. It's just Bakugou, you know him. We are all nothing but 'extras', and then you can find him always teaming up with you and Kiri.”

Jirou nodded: “Yes indeed. And for the nicknames, I don't know what’s worse. He, who keeps calling us with those terrible nicknames, or us who still answer to him when he calls us using 'em?”

“Pfft-hahaha!” All the three of ‘em burst out laughing.

“Hehe, better not find out. In any case, Mina is right. It's totally uncool AND unmanly humiliating yourself like this, sooo...” Jirou's gaze shifted to Mina: “What is the penalty for this heinous crime, Your Honor?”

Kaminari began to tremble again: he had forgotten that Mina was holding his knee hostage.

“Well... at first I thought that tickling his worst post for a minute was a fitting one, but...”

Kaminari knew that troubles were coming, looking at Mina’s smile.

“… In all my magnanimity, I decided to halve the length of my sentence… BUT Jiro will help me, by tickling the other knee! Maybe two of us will get a better result, hehehe!”

Kaminari's face, if possible, took a bluish tone: “W-what!?” it came out like a yelp.

“Um, interesting... Fair enough. I'm in!” Jiro answered, quickly grabbing Kami's knee from behind the couch.

Kaminari's heart stopped for a second and spoke with a trembling voice: “Waitwaitwait! W-wait! Wait girls, time out, please... I-I know there's no way to stop you… but please... Go easy on me… ” more than the tickle, now it was Jirou's presence that frightened and embarrassed him.

He knew his reactions very well, and they were the reason why he was everyone's favorite prey in the class, along with Midoriya. He didn't mind having tickle fights with his classmates, sometimes it even happened with Uraraka and Hagakure… but Jirou!?

They had barely touched each other, and now he was in the position of being tickled in his worst spot by her. Oh dear!!

Mina stroked his knee: “Hey hey, don't worry! It's just a game and only thirty seconds, Denks. I promise. Not one more. And we absolutely won’t be ro-OH! Right! Maybe you don't know it Jirou, but Kami is terribly ticklish under his knees. He can handle only light tickles. Be careful to never be rough, or he could even feel pain. That’s why we hardly tickle him there.”

“Ohmygosh, really? I didn't know. I'll be gentle Kami, promised. Like as if I'm playing my… electric guitar, hehe! Who knows what sound will come out.” she asked, sticking her tongue out for the joke.

Kaminari looked at both the girls, trying in vain to hide an embarrassed smile. He closed his eyes with his hands and lay down on the couch, moaning in protest: “...two against one is not faaair...”

“For this time, just deal with it Sparky!” and the torture began.

Kaminari immediately burst out laughing, holding his belly with his arms and trying with all his strength not to kick so as not to hit the girls, but they had grabbed him well and, as promised, they were giving him only light tickles.

Mina sneered: “Come on, Kami, you can do it! 5 seconds... 6... 17... 78... 45...”

Kaminari's laugh took an octave higher: “MINAAAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE! DOHOHOHOHN'T DO THAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“I should play this guitar more often! It has a really nice sound, especially the high notes!” Jirou laughed.

Kaminari began to weep like a waterfall but, despite the torture, he was really enjoying all of it and, even if it was only for a moment, he could see Jirou's amused expression and smile, and it warmed his heart.

Her touch, if possible, was even more effective than Mina's: light and delicate, as if she were really plucking the strings of the guitar.

“… 29 aaaaand 30! Hands up Jirou!” Mina exclaimed triumphantly and they both released Kaminari's knees. Red as Kirishima's hair, he closed himself sideways, trying to catch his breath amid the laughter and the tickly feeling still all over him.

“Are you okay, Denks?” Jiro and Mina asked, massaging his shoulders and back.

In response, he rolled over on his back ... and raised his thumbs to the sky: “Weee!”

“Pfft-hahaha! Yes, he’s fine!” they both laughed.

"Hehehe... I-I am fihihihine... thahahanks for nehehever being rough on me...”

Mina bent down to hug him: “What are you saying, you silly! We love you! We would never hurt you!”

Jirou got behind him and ruffled his hair: “But that's obvious, Jemmingway!”

Mina then whispered in his ear: “... and I would never have dared to reveal your secret...”

Kaminari looked at his friends and smiled: “Heh… thanks girls. For everythig.”

Jirou poked his neck with her earphone jacks: “Come on, tell us the truth. In the end you were having fun, am I wrong!?”

He chuckled: “Ohohokay okahahay! You are rihihihight!” and he took her jacks to stop her.

“Of course he enjoyed it. Although most of the time he is tortured by boys, he too manages to win many fights. His Quirk is terribly effective.”

Kaminari froze... with an interesting idea in his mind: “My Ladies of the Court of Justice, may I make a statement?”

“Permission granted. What is it about?” Mina asked smiling.

Kaminari hid his eyes behind his hair: “I would like to show you that lesson is learned. And I think...” he gave some very slight shocks on Jirou's earphone jacks: “... that I have found the right way.”

Jirou jumped back, laughing at the funny sensation that had expanded throughout her body and then stopped, bringing out a worried but also amused expression.

“...What could be braver than me facing both of you, after your torture?” Kaminari asked, letting out small shocks from his hands.

Mina immediately realized what was happening and she slowly backed away: “Kami, I know what you have in mind, but your Quirk-”

“Thirty seconds. In all my magnanimity, the penalty will be thirty seconds for each of you, I promise. But I’m taking the liberty of using my Quirk, since I am alone... And the first one I catch, will have to help me taking on the second one. Does it sounds fair to you?”

The girls looked at each other, sharing the same amused look: “Fair enough, Sparky. But...”

Mina threw a pillow straight in Kaminari's face, who ended up falling on the couch, laughing.

“You have to catch us first! Run for it Jirou!”

#bnha #bnha tickle #bnha tickle fic #mha #mha tickle #mha tickle fic #kaminari #denki kaminari #jirou kyouka #mina ashido #lee!kaminari #ler!mina #ler!jirou #tickle fic #sfw tickle fic

163 notes · View notes