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carolmaximoffs · 3 years

Note

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAIT OMFG i can’t believe so many of the coolest ppl in my life that i know are aquas. ily you’re NINETEEN that’s wild!! you know i love a good roommates or friends w benefits fic gimme gimme gimme 😗💜

a/n: THIS IS SO LATE AGH...here is your long overdue wanda x reader roommates fic, my love! so sorry for the wait, but thank you for your sweet words and your patience <3 @subtlebucky

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

warnings: none really? maybe a curse. references to drinking, partying. jealous! reader. apologies to anyone named jillian, beck, or yasmine. sharing a bed, but not in THAT way.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, you smell coffee already brewing. You stretch leisurely as you pad into the main part of your shared apartment, faux-flirtatious smile already gracing your lips.

“Smells good, baby!” You call. The laughter dissipates from your body as you pause in the kitchen doorway. Wanda is indeed sipping coffee in the kitchen, but is also standing between the legs of a tall, rather buff girl you’ve never seen before who’s perched comfortably on your island. “Oh.”

"Jill, this is my roommate, Y/N," Wanda says, perfectly at ease. You wonder if your eye really does twitch at the sight of Wanda's hand on Jill's thigh, but you pray it's just your imagination.

“Hi, uh, I didn’t - we’re not - hi.” Your face burns as you duck past them, reaching up into the cabinet for your mug before realizing it’s missing. You whirl around, about to ask Wanda, when you see it. And Wanda must realize it the same time you do, because she gives you this tight smile and wide eyes. Jill sips idly from your favorite cup, the one with the funny handle and your initial in rainbow gradient. Pietro, Wanda’s brother, had gifted it to you a few Christmas’s back - you know he’d have stopped Jillian from using it. Instead, you fill the most boring mug you and Wanda own - black, with a white outline of Sokovia in a red heart - and send your roommate a sour look. “I’ll just...”

You jerk your head towards the bedrooms, and stalk off. Maybe out of embarrassment, but mostly out of stubbornness, you pretend not to hear Wanda apologizing and making excuses on your behalf as you leave.

.......

Two weeks later, just when things are returning to normal, it happens again.

Well, more or less. It’s significantly darker out now, and this time you’re putting leftover Chinese food in the fridge when the door bursts open. Wanda all but falls into your apartment, a sharp-nosed girl with a deep violet buzzcut hot on her heels. Space Army Cadet and your best friend are hand in hand, the latter barely tossing you a glance as she drags her guest down the hall. And yeah, you’ve seen Wanda bring people home before - even brought a handful of people home yourself. Hell, one of you two’s closest friends was an ex of hers; oddball physics major, Vis, had been Wanda’s lover for the notable first three years of college.

Lately, though, you’d noticed this...pit in your stomach, carved a little deeper with each new bedmate. Every time you shook it off - it wasn’t any of your business what Wanda did in her free time. Was it because they were women? You catch yourself wondering, but no - you’d never had an issue with that, why would you start now? Shutting the fridge, you shuffle back to your room, turning your TV up to drown out anything from Wanda’s room next door.

The next morning, the eccentric friend is nowhere to be found, but you did find there was a severe lack of alcohol in your coffee as Wanda cheerily filled you in. Buzzcut’s name was Yasmine, she was in Wanda’s European lit. course, and they’d gone out for drinks to celebrate Yasmine nearing the acquirement of her masters. You stare into your cup and hum at all the appropriate points, choosing not to point out that it was only November and nowhere near graduating season. Maybe Yasmine was on the fast track - Wanda always did like the smart ones.

You become so absorbed in thought you don’t notice at first that your housemate has stopped chittering away. When you look up, it’s to a pouty frown. You shift in your seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “What?”

“Are you...okay?” Wanda’s frown deepens, brows furrowed as she brushes a stray lock of auburn from her face and folds her arms over her chest. “We...You’ve been a little distant lately, I guess.”

“I’m fine,” You say breezily, rising to your feet to dump the dregs of your coffee in the sink. Some irritating heartstring twangs at your tone - you hate brushing Wanda off, but what are you supposed to say? Hey, can you stop bringing girls home? I think I’ve caught homophobia. You repress a shudder at the mere thought as you move to sweep past her and get ready for your first class, but a small hand curls around your bicep.

“Just...don’t be a stranger, okay, kedvesem?” Darling. Swallowing the lump in your throat, feeling curiously parched, you can only nod. Wanda lets go, but you can feel her fingerprints burning like a brand even when you’re lying in bed that night.

.....

The holidays go off more or less without a hitch; there’s a very scary hiccup shortly before Christmas when you come home to find Wanda curled into Vision’s side on the couch, the pair of them sharing a blanket. But Wanda looks...as if she’s been crying? Love Actually is playing, Wanda’s go to Christmas comfort movie, and Vision is texting someone called ‘Peter M.’ with an alarming number of heart emojis, so you continue onward.

Your subconscious must be looking out for you otherwise, because it’s not until New Year’s that you see Wanda with a mystery lover. Actually, you don’t see much of Wanda at all outside of Christmas, and even when you do, it’s always just the two of you at home. Of course, because of this, she insists on dragging you out for a New Year’s party. When her twin, Pietro, gangs up on you via Facetime, you give up arguing and steal a shimmery black slip from Wanda’s closet before flipping them the bird.

Pietro arrives around 10 to pick the pair of you up, obnoxiously laying on the horn outside of your apartment building. Wanda trips several times as she tries to shove on her other heel and put lipstick on at the same time. Making it out the door is a whole other ordeal - after a short spat about Wanda needing a jacket, an awkward moment when the elevator doors open on some neighbors practicing for midnight, and finding Pietro just about to buzz in to get you, you and Wanda are sliding into the backseat of Pietro’s obnoxiously cramped sports car.

“Ladies, your prince, or princess, awaits!” Pietro announces grandly as you pull up to a shabby loft just a few blocks away. You can hear the music from the street, sighing inwardly as you force yourself to get out of the car. Wanda smooths out her flowy black pants - you keep your eyes trained politely above her shoulders to ignore the fitted, maroon sequined top with the plunging V-neck she’s paired with them.

“I’m actually meeting someone here,” She says casually to her brother as the three of you make your way in. Pietro waves her off with well-wishes, but throws you a questioning glance. All he gets however is a shrug in reply, this is certainly news to you. He accompanies you to the makeshift bar where you fill a cup with copious amounts of liquor. It usually wasn’t your vice, but the strobe lights alone could be cause to drink. You made a mental note to ask whose idea this party even was in the first place. when you turn around, though, Pietro, too, has slipped off into the crowd.

So you do what one is supposed to do at sweaty, too-loud functions such as this one - push yourself from your comfort zone, get comfortably tipsy while you wedge yourself into the mass of bodies and move with strangers. As mentioned, liquor and strangers have never been favorite pastimes of yours, so once you finish off your second drink (maybe third - you deserved it), you set out searching for Wanda. Her glittery form is tucked into a corner with a small group you don’t recognize, but you definitely note that she’s in the lap of a tall, dark, and handsome type. She spots you before you can get to her, making excited grabby hands as you get closer.

“Y/N!” The bubbly young woman squeals over the music. She leans forward to be heard better, and you gulp. “This is Beck! And Jade, and Marcie, and you remember Yasmine!”

You offer only a wave and tight smiles as you, too, lean in further. “I’m gonna get an Uber!”

“What?” Wanda pouts dramatically, Beck snaking an arm around her waist to steady her as she jolts back in disappointment. “It’s not even midnight yet!”

“No, I know, I’m just not really feeling it, I guess!” Yasmine leads over to whisper something to Jade; it’s the furthest thing from your mind as Wanda reaches out to squeeze your hands understandingly.

“I’ll see you later! Kisses!” You repeat the word weakly before shoving once more through the mass. The sidewalk and cool bite of the outdoors is a welcome respite - your driver doesn’t speak all the way to your apartment, and you give them 5 stars for it. After a cold, quick shower, you curl up in your fuzziest bathrobe with a cup of coffee and flick through Netflix. You know when midnight rolls around when the neighbors upstairs, hosting a party of their own, cheer and shout to each other. It can’t be 20 minutes later that your door is met with a tentative knock.

On the other side is Vision in the most disarray you’ve seen him in - he’s in pajamas, for Pete’s sake, hair and glasses askew over a chunky knit sweater. He’s supporting an equally-bleary but much more drunk Wanda, and passes her to you with a wrinkled nose.

“Y/N!” She crows, dissolving into giggles as you shushed her. “I wondered where you went.”

“I told you I was coming home, bubs,” You mutter, hugging her back briefly before you notice Vision is still standing in your entryway. “Hey, how about you go get changed, and then I’ll make you some eggs?”

Wanda agrees, talking animatedly even as she walks away. You look back at Vision, smiling wearily. “Thanks for bringing her home safe, Vis. Did you want a cup of coffee, or...?”

“No, thank you,” Vision quips, polite as ever as he tugs his sweater down over his hands. He jerks his dimpled chin the direction Wanda had disappeared in. “Take care of her, please.”

“Of course,” You reply, instantly, brows furrowing. He nods briskly before turning to leave. “Thank you again.”

“Of course. Goodnight.” He’s almost to the elevators when you call a ‘Happy New Year’ after him, and that earns you a smile. “Happy New Year to you as well, Y/N.”

Back inside, you find Wanda spread eagle on her bed in mismatched socks, an old college hoodie, and the same underwear you’re pretty sure she wore to go out tonight. You poke her heel and she makes a frankly unhuman gurgle into the duvet. “How much did you have?”

“Nah a lah,” Is her muffled reply. “We’on dwink anymo’.”

You realize she’s right, though you figured she was at least taking some of those dates to bars. Maybe not, though - Wanda was always a romantic. You push the mere though away and tug at the arm closest to you. “Yeah, I know. You’ll feel better if you eat something, though.”

Her protesting grunts are less effective than when she kicks out blindly, narrowly avoiding your hip, and you huff. “Fine, I’ll bring the food to you.” You make to leave, but she’s captured your wrist now. Wanda turns her head to make powerful puppy eyes at you. “Stay. Sleepy.”

“I...yeah. Okay.” You were still a little tipsy in your own right - neither of you were college kids anymore, after all. Wanda’s smile was blinding as the pair of you made your way under her numerous layers of blankets. When she turned the lamp off, you wondered if she could hear your heart thundering in the dark.

“Y/N?” She whispers, just when you think she’s fallen asleep.

“Yes, Wanda?”

“I love you.”

You hum in acknowledgment, brushing it off as dreaming.

--------

Midday, you’re roused by someone laying across your stomach and shaking you awake. It’s Wanda, long lashes fluttering prettily as she rests her chin on folded elbows. You scrub sleep from your eyes as you croak, “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, Y/N.” She says your name with purpose - sort of always has, you realize. You’re running over last night in your head, and like a mind reader, Wanda answers your every question. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Still love you.” Wanda murmurs. You meet her gaze - completely clear, if not a little glazed over with absolute adoration. She pushes up a little, lips hovering over yours. They brush just barely when you speak, sparking like live wires.

“I love you, too,” You breathe, and finally, finally, she kisses you.

Things make so, so much more sense then.

#multiverse level: wanda maximoff goes on a date w/ beck from victorious #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff one shot #carolmaximoffs #wanda x vision #vision

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silver-embersss · 3 years

Text

Broken Horns and Broken Hearts Chapter 8

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10

Tubbo had collapsed into bed only a few moments before, but the next the boy knew, he was sitting in yet another meeting, with the rest of the cabinet casting him slightly strange looks as they argued.

He internally panicked, scouring his brain for any memories of getting up, or even walking to the meeting - but there was nothing. A quick check of his timetable confirmed that he’d only lost a few hours this time, instead of two whole days, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying. Where were these sudden gaps in his memory coming from? And why was Quackity staring at him like he’d grown a second head? He shook it off as nothing, perhaps their confrontation last night.

The meeting was followed by another speech, where Schlatt announced a festival to be held in a week, the organising of which was probably going to be delegated to Tubbo on top of the rest. The teen scanned the cityline in boredom, and he was pleasantly surprised to see Wilbur duck behind a parapet. Thankfully, the ex-president couldn’t see him - specifically his horns - from where he stood next to Quackity, but he took a small step back anyway to make sure. Remembering the conversation he had with Tommy yesterday, Tubbo made a mental note to write down the ambush plans they’d discussed earlier and deliver it to the hidden chest.

The gaps in his memory became more frequent as the festival drew near, but Tubbo somehow managed to keep his act together, ignoring the strange looks he got as his horns grew and his patience diminished. The teen also ignored the way his friends talked about him behind his back, denouncing him just because of Schlatt. He simply pretended not to hear the hurt remarks about his grumpiness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy slashed wildly with a stone blade, shards of granite screeching off the wall, and he heard Techno chuckle condescendingly from behind. The teen spun around in irritated tiredness to snap at his older brother.

“At least I’m preparing and not just farming fuckin’ potatoes for three hours straight, dipshit!”

The mocking smile on Techno’s face widened.

“The thing is, Tommy, I don’t need the training - you clearly do.”

“Oh, shut up. Stupid pig bastard.”

Tommy glanced worriedly upwards towards the ravine entrance, where Wilbur stood, currently fucking up his sleep schedule even more. The pig followed his gaze and raised an eyebrow, silently judging his hypocrisy, but Tommy ignored the hint and went back to attempting to massacre the granite wall. L’Mandog could look after Wilbur. They had a war to fight, and if The Blade was going to slack off, well. Then it was down to Tommy to carry their rebellion, wasn’t it?

3 bites of a baked potato later, Techno was back in his farm, both him and Tommy trying their best to pretend each other didn’t exist.

Strangely, it didn’t work.

Eventually, Tommy gave the wall a break and swapped his stone sword out for iron, strapping the bare blade to his hip.

“I’m gonna go check the notebook chest!”

The teen called to Techno, trying not to disturb Wilbur in his moonstruck reverie as he left. Despite his efforts, Tommy felt his brother’s eyes on his back as he crept through the undergrowth.

A few hasty ducks and desperate, pleading headshakes at Niki later, the teen made it to the hillside underneath the prime path that hid the chest. For a split second, he thought he saw a flash of black - Tubbo, maybe? - dash around the corner, but it was gone before he could call out to whoever it was.

A quick glance in ‘the mailbox’ (as Techno called it) revealed the notebook they'd been writing correspondences in, but thrown hastily down on its front, bending the spine. The messy placement was at odds with how it normally lay when it was Tubbo’s turn, but the teen didn’t think much of it other than a muttered curse at the dictator who was keeping his best friend busy doing everything that Schlatt should have been doing.

Tommy skimmed through the rushed explanation of the festival’s weaknesses and snapped a picture of the map Tubbo had painstakingly sketched of the proposed layout. They’d agreed not to use names in the book in case one of them was caught with it, so Tommy just scribbled ‘Thx bitch, hang in there’ on the next page and replaced the book.

For a moment, he entertained the crazy idea of abducting Tubbo so he wouldn’t have to deal with the drunken tyrant, but the thought was soon brushed off due to its impossible nature. Plus, who would be their spy then? Will tried to get in contact with Fundy, but was left on read - the fox was still seemingly bitter about losing the election, even if he did cheat.

After a wistful glance at the half-broken walls, Tommy shoved his communicator back in his pocket, took a step back and fell into a creeper hole.

“Fuck!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t long until Tommy came back from the mailbox, but it was 11:30 at night, so Techno once again tried to convince Wilbur to come into the relatively warmer Pogtopia. The ex-president was mumbling a steady stream of nonsense (which was slightly concerning, to say the least) but it wasn’t exactly a strange occurrence.

“Wilbur? Will?”

No response.

“I’ll make you stew if you come in.”

Food usually got the attention of his siblings, especially Tommy, but still Wilbur ignored him. With a sigh, Techno gave up and went back to his farm, giving L’Mandog a pat on the head as he turned away. It wasn’t the best result, but at least he tried, right?

Casting his memory back, the piglin couldn’t remember Tommy eating that day either, so he pulled a cauldron on top of the campfire anyway, letting the water boil while he rummaged in the chests for some steak. Cutting the meat into small cubes, he threw it into the pot alongside some salt and half a clove of chopped garlic. While the pot simmered, Techno sat cross-legged on the ground next to it and got to peeling and chopping some of the potatoes he’d farmed, throwing the peel in a nearby bucket. It didn’t take long for Tommy to come barreling down the narrow stairs, an ecstatic look on his face as he sniffed the air.

“It’ll be ready in a bit.” Techno grunted at him, ignoring his excited yell.

“Do me a favour and get Wilbur.”

The teen raised an eyebrow at him.

“Bet you already tried.”

The piglin glared at him, and Tommy raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay okay, I’m going!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The festival date was set. Planning was under way. All the information had been leaked to the rebels - and yet Tubbo couldn’t help but feel he was missing something important. The feeling was so urgent, he’d checked off lists a million times and gone over everything with Quackity a million-and-one, and it still hadn’t gone away. That, combined with the memory gaps, bleeding horns, and the alcoholic president, weighed on him more heavily than he’d admit. Sleep was a rare luxury, not a necessity. Fundy took every opportunity he had to glare menacingly at him, and even the recently-released Niki kept her distance. It hurt, to be so isolated from these people he’d fought beside for months, but there was no time for moping. There was barely even time for breathing.

“Tubbo! Get me a coffee!”

“Yes, Mr. Schlatt!”

As he sped down the hall, clipboard and a stack of papers in hand, Quackity called him from outside. He set the papers down on the hallway table and stuck his head out the door.

“What?!”

Big Q motioned towards the square, where a large hole sat in the centre of the seating.

“A creeper blew up the square, can you fix it?”

“Yeah, just-” “TUBBO! COFFEE!”

The teen bit his lip and gestured awkwardly over his shoulder.

“I gotta go-”

Without waiting for a response, he dashed back to the small break area where the coffee maker was kept. He set it going before rushing to collect the stack of forms left on the table. While the coffee brewed, he read through as many as he could. This was the usual routine - multitasking, never taking more than a second’s break, trying to stay on Schlatt’s good side - and he’d gotten used to it. As Tubbo grabbed a stack of cobble from his chest, a message buzzed through his communicator. Cobble in one hand, communicator in the other, he typed a reply in snatches, mostly looking forward as he hurried towards the creeper hole.

TommyInnit whispered to you: Tubso

You whispered to TommyInnit: What?

TommyInnit whispered to you: I need you

He sighed angrily.

You whispered to TommyInnit: tf do you want???? m busy!!!!!

TommyInnit whispered to you: is schlatt being a dick again? We need more info on the festical

You whispered to TommyInnit: well im actually doing stuf unlike some ppl!!!!! TommyInnit whispered to you: ???? u good?

You whispered to TommyInnit: lok i dont have the time!! get yor own fuckin informton!

Another message pinged through but Tubbo ignored it, shoving the little black box back in his pocket and continuing with his tasks. The next thing he knew, it was the middle of the night, moonlight streaming through the window of his room. A slight jolt of nausea accompanied the sudden change in his surroundings, but the teen shrugged it off. It was routine, after all. It was a struggle to pull his pyjama top over his head, as his horns grew bigger every day. Surely they’ll stop growing at some point. The sharp points protruded about a centimetre past his chin, and were a lot thicker than before. Succumbing to his exhaustion, Tubbo let out an ear-shattering yawn and fell into bed, digging his nails into the itchy skin around the base of the horns. A jolt of pain made him yelp, and something warm trickled down his hand.

Blood.

Note to self: Invest in bandages for these things!

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luvdsc · 3 years

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Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

#asks #jaeismytamtation

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nerdygyl · 3 years

Text

Hi My Name Is Nerdygyl,

I’m back ! ! !

Well i really don’t know the path in my life is not where i wanted to b. I have been suffering from an Eating Disorder properly for about 10yrs to 15yrs plus i have been through episodes of anorexia laxative abuse overuse when it was exercising bulimia & puked up & binge eating. I’m at my heaviness right now 18st to being the lightest really looking haggard & just basically i’ll looking at 8st. Having everybody i knew saying you look good so healthy but i didn’t feel like i was happy about being at 8st i wanted to be lighter & it got to the point i was doing journeys to a places that were like 2-3 hrs away from my hse so that i can walk it home & when i get home doing more exercises & being tired but doing it,it got to the point that if i didn’t exercise because of something that interfere with the time i had for that slot i would b so depressed about it that the next day i would add an extra hour so it would b 4hrs of exercise a puninshment for not exercising that day. My dad & i have been at home since March to Now shielding feeling the pressure of this virus like are we gonna die because this virus kills ppl who have underline conditions which both my dad & i have his conditions is at no fault of his own but me i had some conditions from when i was little to stuff i have done to myself because of being so stupid i always felt like when i was thin that i had lost a lot of my spark like i had died, died inside i was so focus so blant just basically nothing their but ppl wanted to b friends they liked this person this sickly looking person who about 2/3yrs ago were ghosting me & didn’t want to know i was always wondering & the voice in my head was saying to me it’s because you don’t look like them you have a skin condition then started to have a hormone problems then everything just came all at once i was having lots of anixety attacks & i would hyperventilate to the point i was breathing in a bag to calm me down & that wasn’t helping so i would have to go into the hospital i don’t know if anyone has experience the terror in it. Your heart is going fast & you can feel it pounding like it’s going jump out of your body then you pass out it scared me because it was happening 3x a week so now i’m on 3 tablets aniexty,depression & diazepam i take thyroid tablets migraine tablets. Now i just feel hopeless, depressed i have been in a binge cycle for a month & half now i have been sorting out my pantry all the food that is a trigger for me so i had to get rid & dividing up everything for relatives to come & pick from outside it would b ridiculous to throw out so i gave it to them i have to b binge free & eat 3 meals a day. Now i have been diagnosed as lactose intolerant, fatty liver hypertension as well i don’t drink alcohol i don’t have any sugary drinks or sweets biscuits chocolates all the usual stuff then i stopped eating those stuff & i wasn’t watching the other side like chips fast food the usual stuff so now that’s gone but i have to b careful with certain things like dairy cheese anything basically i get the stuff that goes with being lactose intolerant & i’m a vegetarian / vegan i eat all the good stuff etc. but i have binge cycles & i devate when i’m not veggie/vegan i don’t eat meat at all but also i don’t eat any seafood so i’m basically i would just live on carbs / veggies / fruits bread with bits in it i just drink water 2 bottles of 3litres a day but durning this winter season is tea but with lactose milk & nothing else i have tried having the vegetarian meats / chicken etc. but i can become rather obsessive when it comes to anything food very controlling but at the moment i’m in the binge cycle clawing myself out of everything i barley asscioate with ppl b4 all this lockdown always at home in my room laying in the dark not moving not eating just dead in the bed in the dark room i don’t sleep i don’t do anything i’m just exsisting.

#binge eating #i am a fat girl #disordered eating tw #lose weight #weight log #weight mention #exercise #i am ugly #depressiv #anxeity #mental disorder

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bo0zey · 4 years

Note

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person???

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!!

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

if you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? my (now ex) friend had a stray give birth on her yard and she gave away all the puppies besides the one she kept, I chose the most scared and fat one lol

what kind of cheese is your favorite, or no cheese at all? Gouda

do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? love it <3

have you seen any of the old james bond movies? I hate James Bond movies, tried few and they were so lame

have you ever been in a hot air balloon? and if not, would you ever want to go in one? I’d like to try, maybe someday

do your parents buy you something on a daily basis? food

is anyone else in the room with you right now? not rn

do you collect anything? shitload of stuff

do you have a pool in your back yard? no and don’t want to own one

do you watch youtube videos often? how often is often?

do you wear mascara? no, I don’t see the point of mascara tbh

do your parents fight? sigh...

have you ever watched a movie that’s in a completely different language, so you had to read sub-titles? plenty

do people with yellow teeth disgust you? mine are yellow, it’s hard to keep them well having GERD :(

do you wear rings? at times

would you like to have a universal remote, like in the movie, click? hmm...

do you get any magazines in the mail? my mom does

what was the last picture you uploaded to your facebook? snapchat one with peach filter

what’s something that you do that you know hurts people close to you? live?...

what was the last board game that you played? either Scrabble or Hollywood

do you get bloated at all after you eat? I have cascade stomach, GERD and IBS so...

when is your birthday - in winter, spring, summer, or fall? winter :(

you must pick (no, “neither” bullshit please): dying by being run over by a train or being thrown from the top of the eiffel tower? tower

who’s the most overrated celebrity of them all (yes, i know they’re all overrated - but pick one)? Beyonce

what do you wear the most - sneakers, flats, heels, boots, or do you just go barefoot? slippers XD

what’s better - short sleeve tops or tanks? short sleeve

black, blue, or red ink? blue

do you sometimes splurge on expensive, sexy lingerie? my most expensive lingerie (which is sporty) costed less than 20 PLN

what’s your favorite food group? grains?

don’t you just love sushi? never tried and don’t wanna, gross

if you walked in on your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/important significant other cheating on you - how would you react? I have several scenarios in my head

how old were you when you lost your virginity? what even is virginity? you can have sex without losing it anyway

what annoys you the most about modern technology? hard to tell

do you prefer your chicks with long hair, short hair, or somewhere in between? I always went for girls with no longer than shoulder length yet not shorter than mine but now I date someone with very long hair

do you turn around when someone yells “hey!!!” even if you’re not sure if they’re referring to you or someone else? might

have you ever had that oh-so-embarrassing moment when you think some hot guy/girl is waving at you and/or flirting with you, so you wave back, only to realize they were directing it at the person behind you? they weren’t hot

who was the last person to come back into your life? my gf

is there anyone at your house outside of your family? in the garden

who was the last person you had a conversation with in person? my dad

what was the last piece of jewelry that you purchased? for myself or someone else?

how old are each of your siblings? 30+

how many different conversations do you have going right now? 0

do you think it’s weird to wear socks to sleep? it’s not, unless you sleep naked

have you ever gone swimming in a lake? yup

do you usually buy a new bathing suit every summer? I didn’t buy any swimsuit for ages, don’t own even one

what sucks most about the computer you end up using the most? what doesn’t suck about it, ugh!

what’s something you want to say to someone at the moment? I’m not sure

will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? I won’t

has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? nah

do you like when people call you things like “baby”, “sweetie”, “hun”, etc? certain pet names are fine

will this friday be a good one? it’s not...

what’s wrong with you right now? everything?

have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? angry and sad

are you wasting your time on someone? hope not

when’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep? days ago

have you ever been in a perfect relationship? relationships aren’t perfect because no one is perfect and that’s ok

when was the last time you completely broke down? last week

honestly, have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j? nope

are you nice to the people you dislike? if I have to, I prefer to avoid them

are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship? we are

your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? no comment

would you rather date someone who is extremely protective or not protective at all? why do we have to choose extremes?

does sex mean love? to me

have you ever fallen asleep on someone? as a baby

have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? more than once

plans for tomorrow? nothing have you ever ridden a skateboard? tried the main thing you can’t leave your house without? clothes, I won’t leave naked does anyone know your password besides you? just me what are you listening to? Melanie Martinez when was the last time you changed in front of someone? this month what’s the closest black thing to you? what I’m wearing, computer mouse and keyboard too, my cellphone next to me is also black what were you doing at 8:00 am? fallen asleep again are you happier single or in a relationship? we’ll see if you had to get a piercing, what do you get? normal earrings in lobes you can get a puppy or a new car. which do you choose? car, I have a dog and don’t want another at least soon have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? my father is my bestie did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? it seems like it have you ever been arrested? noooo

what is a difference between the last two people you hugged? one is a female and one is a male where is the next place you will go? for a walk - forest probably why did you kiss the last person you kissed? we’re dating

do you say sexy a lot? I don’t recall using that word when did you last throw up? years ago? do you like to have long hair or short hair? short what is your favorite place you have traveled? Ełk? where do you keep your money? that’s personal what was the weather like today? warm do you want to cut your hair? meh what is your favorite place to shop? thrift? are you over the age of 25? I am are you going to have a good night? hopefully when was the last time you did the dishes? I just washed the knife

do you and your friends trade/borrow clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc.? no way

is your birthday ever on a holiday? which one? it was always on free from school time (ferie zimowe) and my friends been basically always sick so they couldn’t come

are you friends with your neighbors? I say “goodmorning” to part of them and that’s all

do you think its weird when people talk to their pets like they’re people? not that I have whole conversations with mine but I happen to speak to them when I want to

do you like uggs? they’re great for winter slippers :3

describe what you typically wear on a hot summer day: T-shirt, sweatpants/leggings/pajama pants, panties/undies, socks, slippers or slip on shoes

what about a cold winter day? underwear, tights (when it’s very cold - under leggings), leggings (unless I’m home then sweatpants/pajama pants), socks, boots (if not slippers of course), long sleeves shirt, tunic or oversized t-shirt, sweater, vest, jacket, scarf, hat, fingerless gloves

do you like coffee? ewww, disgusting

do you like flip flops? same

do you like rain? especially it’s sound at night

do you like horses? they’re fine

what is the deepest pool you have jumped into? where? I don’t jump into pools or lakes/rivers

does it annoy you when people open your mail or text messages? people don’t do that :o

what magazine do you buy the new issue of each month? Moje mieszkanie

what is your favorite farm animal? chicken

have you ever driven a golf cart? I’m against golf so...

if a genie gave you 1 wish, what would it be? health, for all, forever

what is something that you shouldn’t like but do anyways? ask God

is there something you love dearly but knew you’d be made fun of for it? I guess

who is someone you always want to be happy, even if you aren’t happy alongside them? those close to me

does it take you a long time to get over someone you liked? it’s complicated

have you ever gone a week or more not thinking of your boyfriend/girlfriend that much? does it sadden you, or make you happy you don’t completely depend on a person? I didn’t go whole week without thinking about them at least once wtf

is there someone who ruined your life? do you forgive this person? most of those ppl didn’t apologise, most of them don’t know or care, most of them are not part of my life

have you ever questioned your sexuality? when was this? how did it end? I thought I must call myself bi because I dated a guy even tho I wasn’t really into them but I realized that even having sex doesn’t mean I’m not asexual - trying things make you more sure of smth instead of changing who you are

have you ever felt suicidal? constantly

do you know anyone who has had a miscarriage? or someone who can’t have kids at all? both are more common than you think

what is something you wish would have ended differently (ex. friendship or relationship)? what if I wanted some things to never end? does that count?

type the alphabet and stop at the letter of the last person you kissed: ABCDEFGHIJKLM eventually ABCDEFG (short version of the first name) eventually ABCD (surname) how was your day overall? it’s going so fast because I can’t sit down for long, parents call me every single minute to help them have you kissed someone more than 20 times? I didn’t count but who knows

if you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? won’t tell you :P how often do you hold back what you want to say? sigh, it’s complicated it’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? my gf ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? not many times but still how do you know the last male you texted? he’s my parent do you think the last person you kissed cares for you? they say and try to show that they do do you laugh a lot? as for such broken person it’s A LOT are you good at giving directions? I’m pretty bad at that what does your mom call you? by one of the versions of my name duh are you afraid of roller coasters? I’m afraid I’d puke where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or everywhere? in front of the computer and when I’m home alone which happens very rarely are you wearing any make up right now? I don’t even own any makeup are you nice to everyone? pfft is it hard for you to be happy for someone else? oh well...

do you like bread crust or do you prefer it cut off? depends, usually eat it tho

what is the worst/hardest drug you’ve been offered, but declined to partake in? nothing hard

do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant? I don’t want to think about it

is there a color shirt you’d never wear? tie dye or some tiny pattern that makes my head spin

is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? what I don’t regret?...

would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? for a movie role

do you like the band mgmt? I know couple of songs by them

do you like vanilla candles? I’m not into candles

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disloopy · 5 years

Text

the heart is deceiving pt.3

bloo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 1.4k

a/n. sorry for my long uninformed hiatus there was just so much going on. i was listening to bloo’s ep the other day and last night he was in my dream and i think that’s a sign hehe here’s pt 3

LIES. dad believed all of mine. i did feel guilty at first but now they rolled off my tongue naturally. i guess infatuation can make you do terrible things. i felt it was all worth it for daniel. seeing him tonight made me realize that.

he was seated at the far end of the diner, flirting with one of the waitresses. i could see him as the type of guy, when not tied down by a relationship, letting all these women come onto him. but when he was, it was pretty clear where his intentions lie.

daniel's ensemble boasted his luxurious lifestyle and definitely didn't harmonize with the atmosphere of the rundown diner. a green versace polo, tucked into black jeans and held together by a salvatore belt, ears filled with silver hoops and that gold chain that adorned his neck tattoo so finely.

i breathed out, straightening out my white shirt so that i might not look to drab beside him. maybe we needed to be balance out; a broke bitch with a lavish man - that didn't sound too bad.

when daniel spotted me, he waved his hand and said something to the lady which made her look over at me. her expression made it clear that she didn't think we were much of a visually pleasing combination.

"i ordered some stuff you might like," said daniel as i slid into the seat in front of him slowly. i hadn't been here in years and nothing seemed to have changed. "by the way, i got you something." he opened up a box to reveal a sleek golden cartier bangle.

"oh my god," i breathed out in shock as he handed it over to me. the bracelet didn't look right in my hand and the more i stared at it, the more it all felt surreal. "for real?"

daniel scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "you think i would get something fake for my own girl? i'm not even that low." i laughed, my eyes glued to the pretty bracelet as i slipped it onto my wrist, loving the feel.

"this is probably the most expensive thing i will ever own. thank you so much."

"ah, you know i don't like to be thanked in that manner," daniel said with a smug smile.

"then how?"

daniel pointed to his puckered lips and by that time, i showed no hesitance in leaning over to plant a longing kiss on him, being pulled towards that abyss once more as his fingers reached for my jaw, deepening the moment and sending that wildfire roaring through my veins.

i pulled away with a breath. "come on... we haven't even gotten through dinner."

"really? i was enjoying my dinner right now, actually," daniel replied, placing his elbows on the freshly wiped down table. "you're so irresistible, y/n."

"you don't have to tell me that." it showed in everything he did.

when we got our food, i was surprised about how well daniel knew my tastes. throughout the night, we found ourselves talking about random, useless things - probably the first conversation that didn't end up with our hands on each other.

after eating, we drove around in daniel's car together. i knew i had to go home soon but i was unwilling to let the night end so early. daniel stopped in front of the beach whose view at night was stunning. i happened to catch sight of the moon's reflection glimmering on the surface of the dark water. it reminded me of daniel's eyes.

we climbed onto the roof of the car and laid there, staring up at the starry sky. it was hot but the night's breeze made up for the weather. "do you do this a lot?" i asked daniel, rubbing my eyes as the wind made them tear up a bit.

"no, not at all," daniel replied with a smile. "this is my first time." somehow i expected the answer. he leaned over me, kissing my lips. i cupped his cheeks, the flavor of our dinner lingering on his tongue, before pushing him away.

"come on... there's people around," i said, quietly.

"so what?"

"they might... idunno..."

daniel sat up, crossing his legs. "you care so much about what people think... let them say this or that. it's not going to change my opinion on you." i blinked, shifting my attention to the darkening sky and so did daniel.

“i love you.”

there was this stretch of silence that seemed like a million bombs dropping at once. daniel looked over at me. “hm?”

i knew he heard but he pretended not to. “i said i... i love the way you think. i love your mind.” he smiled and ruffled my hair.

i hadn’t seen daniel in a while. maybe my words overwhelmed him and he needed space. i gave him his space. summer school stress was taking a toll, on top of that my mind couldn’t stop questioning my relationship with daniel.

tonight he's knocking on the glass of my window and i jump out of my seat to answer it, ecstatic after not having seen him for the past few days. "babyyy, i missed you tonight," daniel slurs, kissing me roughly with the taste of alcohol between our lips. "a party isn't a party without you."

"i wish i could have come," i told him, running my fingers through his unkempt hair. "i was stuck here studying."

"let me take you out... i haven't seen you in days." he returns with his wet kisses on my lips, down my jaw, in the crook of my neck as i lean my head outside the window just to feel them.

"i know babe," i sighed, closing my eyes as my stomach tightened at the feeling of his warm lips and the cold breeze. "my dad has a break off work so he's home more often... i don't want to raise suspicion."

"i could literally have you right now," daniel said, throwing his cigarette butt off the rooftop of the garage and reaching for another one. "not gonna lie, i've always wanted to fuck you in your bedroom."

"sweetheart, can i come in?" dad called from outside my door. mine and daniel's eyes both widened at the same time and i quickly ushered for him to get down out of view.

"uh yes come in."

i felt my heart beating fast as my dad walked into the room, furrowing his eyebrows for a second. "why is your window open?" i quickly made up a lie on spot.

"oh... i .... uh.... i thought i saw someone."

"what? that's quite creepy." he made to walk over to the window but i quickly stood in front of it, blocking his view.

"no but don't worry, it was just a... um... a car."

dad narrowed his eyes in suspicion but moved back anyway. "i just came to tell you that i'm heading to the store since we're out of milk. do you want anything?"

"i'll have a galaxy bar. drive safe, bye dad." i kissed his cheek and pushed him out the door, waiting to hear the jingle of his car keys so i could return to the window. daniel peered his head in with a grin and i smiled sheepishly.

"tsk, lying to your dad." he said, putting his cigarette in my mouth. i wasn't a smoker but refusing daniel was so difficult for me. i took a puff and returned it to him. "you're a bad, bad girl." i giggled, taking the cigarette again only to kiss his lips. "so what i look like a car to you?"

"hm? yeah cause i wanna ride you," i told him, surprising myself. daniel's lips grew into a smirk as he threw yet another cigarette butt off the roof.

"your dad's gone, you can ride me right now." he heaved himself up and climbed over the windowsill, into my room. i stood back, a little nervous.

"he won't be gone long... the store is really close," i informed daniel. "i don't think we'll have-" i was cut off with his lips crashing against mine, our bodies pressed together as daniel began to take off his jacket.

"we'll have enough time. fuck, it's hot in here." he pulled it off and then pushed me onto my bed, unbuckling his belt in record time. "take off your clothes, i'm your daddy tonight."

ppl clown fanfic writers so much sksksk i got kinda embarrassed writing too. but yk there’s so many good fics out there and that takes pure talent so make fun of them all u want but its basically an art

also the reason why i sometimes put smut in the tags even when its not smut is to attract more readers duhh thats the way of life ok

#mkit rain #mkit rain scenario #mkit rain imagines #bloo #bloo scenarios #mkit rain bloo #nafla #nafla scenarios #loopy #loopy scenarios #khh #khh scenarios #khiphop imagines #khiphop

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ofaudreys-blog · 6 years

Text

hello everyone i’m blue (or another color if it makes it less confusing kjsdjfkks)! i’m super excited to introduce you guys to audrey, big heart in a smol body! but yes okay i have her backstory n personality n wanted connections under the cut so pls hmu on here or discord to plot bc im literally so hyped!!

— audrey tuyen phan is finishing up her last year at ventura with hopes of graduating and attending university of california, los angeles to study biology. four years in and she’s known as the syrupy, which makes perfect sense considering how amicable, fervent, sensitive, and obdurate she is. that title landed her the senior class superlative of most likely to come back to the school and teach. when you hear coloring outside the lines - misterwives coming from a car this summer, it’ll most likely be them. speaking of summer, once school ends i hear her plans are to get out of her comfort zone. i can’t help but to be reminded of a sunset glistening over the ocean, splatters of oil paint on old clothes, flower petals pressed between the pages of a book, and a heart shaped locket filled with memories.

okay so! backstory time!

audrey grew up in ventura! she has a younger sister (sophie) and grew up with her mom and her dad around for the most part. was introduced to art as a kid and had an ok childhood! her dad's a graphic designer and would draw with her or sing lullabies to her when she was young n her mom was an up-and-coming, trying to make it big actress!

her parents got divorced in the middle of 6th grade and it kinda broke audrey’s heart? because she really believed in her parents’ meet-cute story of like “love at first sight” and all that! but nope her mom was hooking up with a co-star behind her dad’s back and then up and left the family without much care for any of them and it hit Really Hard

her dad didn’t remarry and bc of legal reasons she had to visit her mom (who pretended to care for audrey n sophie... but really didnt) every other weekend and audrey was just not about that and it kinda made her become super shy

her dad started to become super busy (and also was beginning to drink a lot more heavily... but audrey pretended not to notice) and so her grandmother would tend to care for her and her sister and it was great for a time! her grandma was the Best and would bake w them and bring them out to the park to play and sit her up on the counter and wag her finger on what to do and what not to do and like audrey’s heart, even tho it was a lil doubtful of love in those moments, she was taught to be v kind and loving to everyone she met

her grandma was diagnosed w leukemia and eventually passed away and at that point audrey was v v sad bc she was v close with her grandma but her grandma’s last words to her were about staying true to herself and to always have love in her heart so to this day she tries to live up to those words and like !! its what really drives her to be empathetic

her dad reached his lowest point w alcoholism and would occasionally lash out verbally at his children but never violently, and at some point audrey stuck up the courage to get him into AA during her freshman year and so now she tries to make sure her dad’s sober and is afraid to leave for college bc she doesn’t want him to relapse (so thats why she’s going to ucla bc it’s not terribly far)

currently her sister’s a freshman and going to be a sophomore and audrey’s constantly looking out for her lil sister bc she can see that she’s fallin into the wrong crowd so rip but audrey’s that Annoying Older Sibling who keeps trying to protect her sister even tho u just gotta let them experience life

she’s going to ucla to study biology and hopefully become a doctor / nurse bc she wants to help other ppl really badly! at school she’s definitely a local volunteer for almost everything, possibly a cheerleader? she got Pep, probably works at a local library bc she a big Softie for books!, and probably the head of like an art club or smth skdkskkjds

OKAY ONTO HER PERSONALITY BC THIS IS LONG ENOUGH

she’s a giant hopeless romantic and falls in love really easily and normally for the wrong people. like in short, v idealistic and v much a dreamer, always optimistic about the future!!! believes in everyone and gives second chances and v much nonconfrontational

she’s super talkative and energetic and could probably talk ur ear off and will 100% try to befriend almost everyone and it can honestly sometimes come off as fake?? but like she’s genuinely trying , although sometimes it gets exhausting for her

she’s super passionate and she’s a v much all or nothing type of person! will put her heart and soul into anything and everything

loves to people watch and sketches almost everyone she meets and everyone she sees, she’s v big on Art and probably has half-finished sketchbooks lying around her room and unfinished canvases and her desk (and clothes) are probably covered in paint Always! loves to visit art museums

she loves to stargaze too! big into astrology. she’s a pisces

cooks like a Food Network Star and probably makes all of her grandma’s recipes and probably if u ever come over her house she will cook u up a five course meal

oh yeah she’s v much sensitive and emotional, like if u poke her feelings she will b all over the place but she likes to pretend she’s strong but she’s soft! i mean she will stick up for her friends and is slowly building up her courage, but she will cry 5 minutes BEFORE Up begins or really any disney movie , she’s a giant fan of disney. will apologize in 0.5 seconds bc she wants everyone to get along and b happy , v much a peacemaker

she’s kinda free spirited?? spontaneous and definitely up for last minute adventures and midnight trips into downtown but in the end she’s scared of letting go and getting out of her comfort zone but she’s trying to get better at that this summer, especially since she knows she’ll be homesick once she goes to uni

and i think thats it!!!! time for wanted connections here we go

bad/good influence where either they help her become a bit more Tough or just get her to branch out and get her Wild Side to emerge

ex who totally broke her heart :/// or maybe theyre on good terms now!

ex friends???

unrequited love?

frenemies ??/

rivals??

give this gal an enemy who annoys the heck outta her and brings out her Bad Side

ppl who came close to dating / were close friends who were about to date but something happened and now its super awkward

art friends! or her muse who she loves to draw/paint with

OR WE CAN BRAINSTORM!! <3 hmu i love u all

#ventura:intro #OKAY FINALLY #❛ ✱ ⋮ ᴛᴡᴏ ʙʀᴏs ᴄʜɪʟʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ʜᴏᴛ ᴛᴜʙ ❱ ooc.

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translightyagami · 6 years

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Otp questions for Matsuda/Light?

dflkjskaljf;ldfsakj ALL OF THEM????? aight dude.

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

i don’t think either of them spends a lot of money on each other. their relationship isn’t rlly....over the table. but i think matsuda gets light presents sometimes like that sashmi phone charm or fun socks. he definitely DEFINITELY gets light something on valentines day bc he sort of hopes light will do the same but uh light has to go on his lunch break to the nearest convience store and buy some shitty chocolates bc he doesn’t want matsuda to know he forgot. except matsuda like knows, he’s just too nice and a little too into light to say anything.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

matsuda will lay his head on light’s lap while light is doing paper work. its late on a tuesday when they hv light’s apartment to themselves which almost nvr happens and he’s running his hand thru matsuda’s hair. its almost like they’re a real couple. it’s almost like light cares.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

they r both way too conservative abt their bodies to walk around half naked anywhere but if matsuda spills something on his shirt he’s not gonna soak in that cold coffee. he’ll strip that shirt off and use light’s washing machine and then chill in the kitchen. light yells at him, which scares the shit out of matsuda bc light almost nvr yells at ppl if he can help it, and tells him that misa is going to b home in like an hour so he can’t b waltzing around w no shirt on. then he stops, sees matsuda’s wide eyes and his anger slinks back into it’s cage so he offers to blow him as an apology.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

matsuda is always getting on light for staying up too late. “you’re giving kira too much of your time!” he says and light just gets this ugly look on his face like he’s halfway to a laugh but also abt to melt. “how else can we bring him to justice,” he says, “if we aren’t giving up some parts of our comfort?” that shuts matsuda up.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

god they both suck so hard at cooking. matsuda tries to make them like romantic meals and light lets him bc he loves it when ppl do things for him ever at all. all the meals end up burnt and light tells matsuda he doesn’t mind but he rlly rlly does bc then he has to explain to misa why their apartment smells like burned chicken. they order takeout or go somewhere to eat and its rlly uncomfortable for the rest of the night.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

oh for sure matsuda sees those, like, couples memes and wants desperately to send them to light and b like “ha that’s us” but he’s not sure if they count as a couple since light makes him leave immeadiately after they fuck. so instead he just sort of casually will announce that this meme makes him think of someone and light doesn’t look up from his work like “what’s a meme?”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

god they r like different sizes but sometimes, if light is weak and lets matsuda convince him to go to his place, light borrows a shirt from matsuda that’s too big on his all flat angles body. it hangs on him and it kind of....turns matsuda on a little?? they’re all his old college track shirts. light always returns them promptly the next day, washed and folded in a plastic bag.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

light likes to send matsuda on errands bc he knows he can and also he hates hving to do small tasks so he’ll like send him to get lunch and then when he gets back will get huffy if he forgets to bring like...enough napkins.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

it’s canonical in my headcanon that light is a very bad driver and matsuda actually had to help him learn so matsuda drives them most of the time. light gives surprisingly good directions for what a shit driver he is, mostly bc he has a good memory and spent a lot of time using the subway so he knows his streets. get him out in the country tho and he’s like “uhhhh turn left?? maybe right??? lets use the gps.”

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

light poses and matsuda draws a shitty stick figure w a tie on. light must stiffle the urge to rip it up and it’s the greatest feat of strength he’s ever managed.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

uhhuhuhuuhhh shit man i literally hv no idea with this one!!! neither of them can do a backflip but matsuda is convinced that if given the chance, he could do one and then light and he hv that charlie and mac argument of “u can’t do a backflip” “i do a backflip every day of my life!!”

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

literally. neither of them stops the other one. light doesn’t drink a lot but matsuda will take him out clubbing which means light gets drunk off two cocktails and half of matsuda’s rum n’ coke. he dances to ariana grande and pulls matsuda on the floor and matsuda is so flattered by the attention that he lets light get drunker until he’s swaying and they hv to take a cab back to his apartment bc he can barely stand.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

i think i said in the first question, but matsuda often leaves light little gifts.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

dslkfjla;skdfj;aslkfj;slfa matsuda sometimes puts yagami as his last name but that’s only bc he spends so much time w that family. he’d b so pleased to marry into it honestly. its a secret dream of his to propose to light and for light to accept and it keeps him warm on nights when light won’t return his calls.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

neither of them take the spider outside but matsuda will just smack it w his shoe. light gets the bug spray and watches the spider die, slowly and painfully. he only ever does this when no one else is around but god, it’s a little thrill to take the edge off.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

matsuda forgets his jacket A Lot and so light will offer his as a token of affection (or at least as much a token as light can manage). it nvr fits but the same song and dance happens every time. matsuda wishes that light would forget his jacket once so it would b the other way around but uhhhh mr. five hundred plans at once has nvr been unprepared for bad weather. except once on a certain rooftop but like who’s keeping score?

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

their relationship is secret so nobody. but if sayu knew, she’d hv a word or two for matsuda abt dating her wonderful brother who deserves the best boyfriend life has to offer.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

hmm. this one is......tough. neither of them every say anything but matsuda almost does. it takes a while. it takes several times of matsuda getting up to put on his shoes and looking over his shoulder, asking if light’s sure he wants to be alone. its a lot of him “dropping by” when he knows misa isn’t home but light didn’t ask him to come over and just watching tv together. he’s like a frog in water slowly boiling until he realizes the water is too hot and he’s burning with some kinda something for light. so he works up a little courage and a little stupidity and one night, after sex, he rolls over and asks light what they are. light blinks and smiles. “we’re friends,” he says and matsuda’s heart is a brick sinking into his stomach. “oh,” he says. “okay.” he doesn’t bring it up again.

a week later, light calls one of their outings a date and the brick starts to lift.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

Oh They’d B Such Shit.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

is this.....are you trying to ask me who does 1337 speak? okay okay. u would b surprised but i think light uses a lot of text chat when he messages ppl he’s closer to. if its like a work message, its all business but if it’s like a booty call to matsuda its like “hey wyd?” matsuda texts in such.....text code....u would hv to hv one of those “what is ur teen saying” guides next to u to understand. light can’t keep up. the only time matsuda texts with perfect grammar is when he’s sexting and honestly? that is half of what drives light wild.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

here’s the facts: light likes matsuda but if he saw him getting bullied or anything and protecting him meant bringing himself to literally any harm? he’d turn right around and go in a different direction. matsuda defends light constantly whenever someone says something abt him being kira. anyone got anything to say abt light yagami? matsuda is on ‘em at the drop of a hat.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

god matsuda makes so many puns. he’s out of control. every time he opens his mouth its light’s worst nightmare which is nice humor and fun. he’ll grit his teeth and smile but inside he’s in special dead hell which is for ppl hearing bad jokes. BUT there’s one time where light is doing something and doesn’t catch himself b4 just out loud making a pun and the grin on matsuda’s? could’ve lit up an entire stadium.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

if matsuda ever brought a puppy into light’s home, he’d b out on his ass in a minute. his dick game isn’t that strong.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

matsuda is actually a little stronger than light, he’s like short-ish but built and frequently has to carry light home from clubs bc he can’t handle his alcohol. when he does carry him, light gets v handsy and matsuda has to like try and calm him down which is hard bc matsuda is drunk too? uhuhuh here’s something: one time when matsuda was carrying light home, light kept up this stream of conversation abt nothing and then started to make this weird, choked crying noise and matsuda was like whats wrong and light just kept saying “he’s dead” all gargled n shit. matsuda got him home and everything and light offered to hv sex with him but there was something so dead eyed abt him that matsuda was like “uhhhh i’ll just go home.” and light looked v small and matsuda knew he should probably stay, that light would b sick soon and probably vomit and he should definitely stay but he leaves anyway. he thinks abt that a lot after he shoots light. abt the way he lay there like a corpse, like he died six years ago and was haunting himself.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

every once in a while light will do some intramural sports like soccer just to keep up his physique (he’s one of those ppl that like sports over like gym time) and matsuda always goes w misa under the pretense of their friendship. secretly tho he’s checking out light’s legs in shorts. light has v defined thighs.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

matsuda takes eight selfies every rare occasion light sleeps on him and uses the kitty ear filter on them. he only sends the snapchat to his mom, who is the only person that knows abt him and light, and keeps the photo saved on his phone. light nvr finds out abt them. matsuda’s mom snapchats him back a thumbs up.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

light would definitely give matsuda pointers and he actually does it, unsolicited, pretty often. if he could get a crack at matsuda’s waredrobe? god. the amount of macy’s casual wear he would shove in there. he hates matsuda’s day off clothes. worn jeans??? no thanks!!!

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

matsuda has a lizard named suds and light is not terrified of it, okay??? he just doesn’t like how it feels when it touches his skin and also how its eyes look and also he’s maybe a little scared of it so whatever

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

light insists on holding the umbrella bc he’s taller and likes the control but if he’s super busy and speedwalking he lets matsuda do it. also bc he likes flexing his ability to make ppl do things and it makes him feel royal to hv someone else hold his umbrella.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

well, they’d literally nvr go on vacation bc they r not in that kind of relationship BUT if they did, they’d probably just go out to the country to a bed n breakfast in the gayest fashion possible. light would use the time to read some books he bought but nvr got around to reading. matsuda attempts to write a science fiction story which he is too embarassed to show light. light hacks his computer when he’s asleep so he can read it and finds out that the love interest is just a thinly veiled version of himself so he shuts the computer and crawls in bed, blushing bc he’s flattered and bc there were a lot of alien sex scenes w his character.

matsuda takes several phone pics of light falling asleep in the car on the way to the bed n breakfast and is sorely tempted to save one as his phone background. he doesn’t but he does keep one of those pictures even after light dies. it reminds him that light was human. that somewhere there was a person in there, that he didn’t sleep with a monster.

#death note #y'all better like and reblog this bc i went and answered 30 damn questions #under a read more bc its long as hell #i got carried away on a couple questions.....#Anonymous

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i-can-be-king-again · 3 years

Text

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Nope

Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? No, that person dumped me a couple years ago and we stopped talking after a while

What’s the first word of the last text message you received? “okay”

Do you think you’ve changed at all over the past year? I’m being less of a pushover than I've been before and being less of a perfectionist in front of ppl

Is there a song that reminds you of your ex? Do you still listen to that song? “In my head” by Ariana Grande, I listen to it sometimes to remind myself that I'm better off without them

Did you tag anyone in your last Facebook status? I don’t use Facebook as much anymore

How do you behave when you’re drunk? Never been drunk, but I was super tense when I was buzzed lol

What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate, it makes my stomach hurt lol

When was the last time you felt disappointed? What was the reason? Last week when I felt like I'm not improving in my self defense class, but I'm always disappointed in that lol

Is there someone that can make you smile, even when you feel like crying? There’s a couple people that can

Is there a certain person on your mind right now? Tell me about him/her. My boyfriend

You’re getting ready to go to bed, and the last person you kissed shows up, what do you do? Tell them to get tf out my house lol

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I’m so goddamn lonely lol

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Probably not

Are you okay right now? I’m never ok tbh lol

What time did you get up today? around 8:30 am

When was the last time you saw your mom? As of writing this right now, about 10 minutes ago

What is the last thing you drank today? Water

Do you dislike/hate anyone? Trump, my self defense teacher, and this stupid guy in my self defense class

Where is your best friend right now? Probably at home

When will your next kiss be? I’m not going to predict that because I don’t want to jinx the possibility lol

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? Hell no lol

Does anyone completely understand you? My therapist, I think

Who was the last girl you hugged outside of family? A couple years ago I think

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No

What will you be doing in 3 hours? Playing games

How often do you straighten your hair? I already have straight hair so I don’t need to do that

What are you currently looking forward to? This stupid pandemic and trump’s presidency to be over

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day? What are you going to do? Probably not lol, mostly waste time

Who did you last hang out with? The person I'm dating(?) at the moment

Did anyone see your last kiss? Nope

Could things possibly get any better? I hope so ugh

Do you know who you’ll even kiss next? I have no clue!

Do you ever sleep in jeans? No, that sounds really uncomfortable

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? Anxiety and lack of sleep

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? No

Are you in love lately? No

How often do you see your ex? Never, thank god lol

Who was the last person to text you? My friend

Did you like anyone last summer? Not really

Do you replay things that have happened in your head? All the time!

Who was the last person you stayed up with till 2am? My friend

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? yes!! I’m fine with either one lol

Are you currently in a relationship? Nope

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Rarely

Would you be shocked if the person you have feelings for texted you? No

Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? Not really

What are you planning on doing after this? Probably play some games

Is there a girl you would do anything for? Yep!

Who IMed you on facebook last? An old classmate from college

How old are you? 27

Do you love dogs? I love them!!

Were you finished childhood and teens when Harry Potter movies came out? No, they started coming out when I was in elementary school

Did you keep all your VHS tapes? Some of them yeah

Do you think Jack Nicholson is a good actor? Yeah I think so

Have you ever watched an episode of “The Honeymooners”? No

Have you ever owned a pair of high-top Converse? No

Do you have rain boots with a cute pattern on them? I don’t own any rainbows lol

Would you rather eat an apple or an orange right now? Orange

Would you rather do a cartwheel on land or a backflip in water? Cartwheel

Have you ever performed on stage in front of people? Not performed, but one time I saw a comedian at a small venue and they had me come up on stage with him to be his “personal assistant” because I looked super young for my age, it was really fun lmao

Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Not scared, but mostly intimidated lol

What size is your mattress?(single,twin,double,queen,king) Full size

Do you eat foods from all 4 food groups everyday? I don’t eat meat so no lol

Do you sleep in PJs? Yes

Do you prefer watching TV or listening to music? I’m ok with either one

Would you rather watch a movie in theatre or at home? Depends on the movie I'm seeing in the theater

Do you prefer brown or white rice? Brown

Do you like spaghetti? Spaghetti is pretty good

What about lasagna? Lasagna is pretty good too

Do you celebrate Christmas? Sort of

Is your Thanksgiving celebrated in October too? No..? I've never heard of that tf lol

Do you like chocolate bars? Not really, I like chocolate in other forms lol

what about ice cream? nah, it hurts my teeth when I eat it

Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mostly mosquitoes lol

Do you get tired easily? Sometimes

Or do you always have plenty of energy to spare? Never lol

Have you ever done volunteer work? Where? I volunteered to help office workers at red cross What about court-ordered community service? No

Have you ever worn contacts?(even just to try them out) I tried but they were too hard to take out and they were uncomfortable

Would you wear contacts on a daily basis? yes if they were easier to take out lol

Are your ears pierced? How many times? Nope

Do you have GOD-GIVEN(not dyed) natural brown hair too? I have natural brown hair but from genetics lol

Or were you born blonde? No

Have you found a gray hair on your head or body before? Not yet lol

Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? Nope

Have you ever been screened for STDs? No

Are all your wisdom teeth pulled? not yet

Did you have your tonsils taken out? No

Did you have your appendix taken out? No

How many kidneys do you have?(have you donated one?) I have both of them

Would you(to save someone)?^^^ If it’s a close family member yeah

Have you ever found a bug or slug in your salad? no thank god

Do you like Harry Potter? not really

What about Twilight? I liked it when I was younger, but not now How do you feel about Lord of the rings? It’s kind of boring lol

Are you going to see ‘The Hobbit’ when it comes out? I saw, it was ok

Do you have a glass that says ‘Molson Canadian’ on it? No

Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? Nope

Would you rather have a white fridge or a black fridge or a stainless steel fridge? Stainless steel

What size shoe do you wear? 7-7.5 womens

Do you have a wide foot or a narrow foot or just average? Narrow

Do you bite your nails when you’re stressed? No

Do you have to take an allergy pill daily in order to live normally? No

Are you on the birth control pill? No

Or are you trying to get pregnant? I’m trying not to get pregnant, but I use condoms instead

You’d rather wear black sneakers or sneakers in a bright color or pattern? black sneakers

Has anyone ever told you they were attracted to you? Yes

Can you swim well in water way above your head? yep

Are you afraid of thunder & lightening? No, I love them lol

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? yes

What about a tornado? No

Are you closer to your dad?(more so than your mom) I’m a lot closer to my mom

Were you your parents’ first born? Yes

Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No

Did you trade stickers at recess when you were a kid? No

How old were you when you had your first crush? Do you remember their name? I think I was 10, I don’t remember their name

Can you even remember what the hell they looked like? Not at all lol

Have you ever operated any type of motorized vehicle before? A car

Are you going to drink alcohol tonight? Nope

Have you ever heard of the Canadian kids show called “Mr. Dressup”? No

What about the kids show “Fred Penner’s Place”? No

Did you hate Sesame Street when you were little too? I've never watched it so I can’t have a valid opinion of it

Were you born perfectly healthy or with some(or a lot) of health issues? I had semi severe stomach problems when I was a baby, and still have them now lol

Do you collect DVDs? Nah, I just rent them

Do you download music? Yes

Or do you still go to stores and buy CDs? No

Did you skip(jumo-rope) a lot as a kid? Sometimes

Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? roly polies and ladybugs

Didn’t you just LOVE art class in elementary school?! I don’t remember having an art class back then lol

Have you ever played dodgeball? Yes, I'm pretty good at dodging but not throwing

What about Red Rover? No

Have you ever played “What time is it mr. wolf?”? It sounds familiar but I don’t remember it

Do you hate your weight? I’m fine with it

Have you ever struggled with a mental illness? yes and still do lol

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Peanut butter

Have you ever stepped on a snail? yeah, on accident :/

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed

Do you prefer ankle socks over regular socks? Ankle socks

Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? Sonic the hedgehog lmao

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I don’t know their middle name oops, I think it’s the same name as my dad though

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? Both

Would you ever go backpacking across any country? Nah, not interested

Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend

Do you like breadsticks? Not really

Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? No, my house gets cold a lot

What state were you born in? California

Have you ever had a nose bleed? Never had one

How far away do you live from your birthplace? An hour maybe?

Do you have a weak stomach? yes, I hate it ugh

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? No

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No

Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? Not at all

Do you *really* like donuts? Hell yeah I do!

Do you think Disney World could ever get old? If I went there all the time, then yeah

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted? I don’t like hooking up with people :/

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Games, art supplies, clothes

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? Probably not

What do you usually order on a pizza? vegan cheese with veggies on it Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? I don't have one 😭

Who’s the first person with the letter “m” in your contacts? My cousin

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy!!!!!

How old will you be on your next birthday? 28 😱

What color are your underwear? That’s confidential information lmao

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? All the time, I always have to eat in an area with little to no people. It sucks

#personal #about me #survey

0 notes

dev-hub4fixfict-ut · 7 years

Text

Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch; chap 1

/racism, /hate crime, /physical assault, /alcohol, /c slur, /unsanitary, /witchcraft, /panic attack, bad writing. like, really bad. i wrote this when i was in a bs brainspace in highschool to cope.

a self-insert fanfiction where i write what happens after my runs of undertale. written in google docs and idk what im doing. Frisk is 12, use they/them, has a bullshit life, Chara also uses they/them, and is still here, and never meant for all this to happen, they hate each other, and Sans is still, and forever will be, a mess.

_________

here we go with that stuff !! im pumped enough to not collapse of stage anxiety ah ah.

please do not confuse my complicated style for pretentiousness. im but a wordy insecure fool. with a super touchy soft spot for a small fat skeleton. and lots of imagination.

this isn’t something for fontcest and frans shippers and gross ppl who villainize and misgender kids and call gay couples “hawt sin” tho. u guys are uglies and i hate you, go away. ;U

_________

“Sans” i deadpanned.

He perked up a little, his forever-fucking-smiling expression mirroring my tone -with his eyes. Eyes’ sockets. Those were the only hints of what he was actually thinking. Because his fake smile -fake, i’m so sure of it, so fake smile, it only ever dropped when Frisk’s puppeted body struck him down, the very only moment he stopped- wow getting sidetracked. Anyway.

“Sans.” i repeated. i need to repeat myself a lot. Verbal dyspraxia i think. He didn’t seem to know that and squinted a bit more, indication of his annoyance/suspicion/mistrust/wariness. ‘s what his squinting usually means, directed at me. Can’t blame him. “i…” Truth is, i don’t actually know what to tell him. ‘s just. i love him, and i know it sounds crass and misplaced blurted out like this, but as a consequence, i’m worried about him. A lot. Constantly. i hope bpd isn’t blurring my judgement too much. ‘m not sure he does take care of himself as well as he deserve. And look who’s talking, right ? But he is surrounded by loving friends and family. And has his brother. He could get help. Good help.

Damn my hesitance was making him unnerved. I could see it in how he turned to me, bone hands switching in and out of his pockets. I only hugged myself tighter, hands vaguely gesturing.

“i… Could i offer you to crash on my couch sometimes ? Or bed even, i don’t use mine a lot, actually. Since it’s, y’know, closer to a good part of your odd jobs than your house and Papyrus isn’t home then ?” Dang that was weirder out loud. i kept a blank face to show i was serious. i was- the guy looked even more tired than me. Tells something.

“uh. kid, you got something going in the back of your mind ?” Damn he took me too seriously. Squinting hard at me now, he was the perfect studied statue of calm judgement. Damn he was good at those.

“Well, safe from letting you get a good deserved rest more easily, not much !!” i made sure to answer jovially, doing the whole ‘punching the air round and low in excitement’ thing. We could be two playing the happy clown game.

i had found him at Grillby’s, like usual. his food was getting cold. like usual too. what was less usual was the tense manner he held himself when i came in, and how he “straightened” up, like he had forgotten himself, when i greeted him, pat on the shoulder. he would have flinched but he wouldn’t have wanted me onto him about it. so his eye socket had violently twitched -violently as in, noticeably, by his standards, and...uh lost myself again, fuck.

What i mean is that he was having a harsh day, probably after a harsher even night, his ptsd acting up (‘m not supposed to know ‘bout that. He himself doesn’t even know it. i just read. and relate), and i wanted to help him. now, maybe i had been presumptuous thinking i could…

So that’s why i insisted, vigorously,

“And uh-we can watch some trash movies and stuff, anytime, and like you can just stop by during your in-between shifts, even if i’m not home, i’ll give you a spare key and-” sudden stop. oh no. He gave me The Hand.

He indeed did, holding it up, like he wanted me to slow down. i did, obviously, but uh. did that mean i was overwhelming him, or annoying ? Was there a difference ?? Did it matter ???

Not now, because he was talking, and internal anxiety mini attack made me split focus, and i wanted full focus on what he said, on him.

“look kid,” i hate he calls me that “i appreciate whatchu tryin to do here” meh.liar. spill it. “but i can’t accept. paps would be upset if he knew i was squatting-”

“No he wouldn’t !! He would call it ‘GREAT FRIENDLY HANGOUTS OF REST’ and be very happy we uuh spend time together and stuff-”

“ok” glaring at me now, probably pissed i used his bro’s good nature to shot down his excuse. Heh. Two play at that game. “but here’s the thing.” he advanced himself up to me, nearly out of his seat. i held my ground. uh oh. “we a r e n’t f r i e n d s.”

Ouch. i mean i knew this but. Ouch. His eyes hadn’t blacked out on that last part, but nearly, too. Could be that his already hazy eyelights had just dimmed in exasperation but um. That didn’t feel any better. i gulped. Just a little. Just to keep down the new forming clog in my throat. Just a little one. i knew this.

“i know this !! but look, we could be, if we hanged out !” i didn’t dare say more. My eyes stung a lil bit too much for my liking and while never embarrassed by my tears, didn’t want to embarrass him.

‘s not like i was seriously hurt. i knew where we stood, and that my crush was going to stay that, a crush. what really stung was the utter lack of trust and the hatred-like suspicion he had of me. that and also feeling like i’m watching someone drown, but can’t help, because when i reach out they swat me away in fear i would be the one pushing them further. That’s probably more of my saviour complex dramatizing everything, but it’s bad to be helpless when you know someone, and you’re the only one to notice where they’re headed, because they’re great at pretending, but it’s like looking at yourself in a mirror for you. Get me ?

But. That’s fair. We hadn’t started well off. At all. Oh boy we hadn’t…

___

Seems like now would be a good time to make a small recap, uh ? ‘bout how i ended up knowing that dude, falling in love, analysing his mental shit and all that jazz. Yeah.

me, some lame girl who won’t eat for days and forgo sleep just because, who doesn’t shave but my actual hair, doesn’t do makeup, who doesn’t smile when I’m told to and who grins for no apparent reason whenever a new daydream pops up, because i’m kind of stuck in my own head because it’s better in here. because of… trauma crap. i get by by drawing and playing games where i can just save everyone.

i don’t know if you get what i mean. i sorta hope you don’t. Because it hurts. But at the same time it’d be awesome if you did, because y a y let’s relate about crap !

Don’t know if it matters, too.

Could help to get a few friends. But being an asocial, asexual, kinda aromantic mess kinda throws that out of the window. You’d think so many A would get me higher in life eh heh heh heh heeeeeh… not funny. i’m not funny. My life is not funny. The way i react to it can be, though.

Like, that one time i was hanging out on my own, outside the bar i had first entered with classmates, as i tried to be less of a hermit, in a bar street and fled because i can't stand alcoholic jerks, and then saw this crowd of tough guys ejecting a small and stout person in a blue hoodie from said bar by fucking throwing a chair at them through the fucking window, and seeing that this little dude is a monster, and knowing they’re gonna get busted down to a puddle of dust by the mastodont looming over them if nobody intervenes ?

i reacted funny.

---

“Yoo-ou ffffffuking cunt, I-I’m gon’ mash you to the dirt yo motha shitted after getting fucked by yooour d-d-dog of a oold man-”

As he spits the words, an obviously very drunk dude stumbles closer and closer to the monster, his hands shaking like he wants to grip their head and smash it.

Freak it. This son of a bitch may be slurring like he drank the whole city, but he’s for sure all out to kill him ! Get up and run, little dude !

“c’mon man, “fucking cunt” , fun king or earl, it’s still a bit early to speak ‘bout mothers isn’t it?”

[i recognize him]

Pfft- what ? i snort loudly from my spot.

Okay, this is a gloriously bad, stretched pun -but now is not the time for goodness’ sake ! Run, dude, run -wait, is that a skeleton ?!

[i recognize him]

Oh my fuck, how dumb is that dude, going out in a popular bar at what-the-heck-hours in this stupid city ! There were shootings and assassination attempts on the monster gym leader not even two blocks away yesterday ! And you just go in there with a face that screams “LOOK AT ME” ?! Are you stupid or do you just lack of basic preservation instincts ?!

The brute keeps advancing, spouting shit, a sort of gang backing him up, toward mc comicbonedude, a guy i assume, given the voice, but with monsters you never know, gender’s a myth but not them- who’s still on the ground, backtracking, crawling with a grin it didn’t drop the whole time, is it stuck or something and doesn’t look like getting up holy crap he can’t get up, the more hatred a monster is confronted with the hardest it hits he must be low on hp or something he’s gonna get killed

[i recognize him]

mc comicbonedude cracks another joke or is it his ribs cracking under the viscious kick he just got he’s thrown nearer the spot i’m chilling in. Another kick. Nearer. They can't see me, i’m well hidden in the shadows. Another kick.

This time, mc comicbonedude gags out a pun about sole-ution to the problem being-

FUCK OFF!! a gun is being drawn out.

Screw this i’m not witnessing a murder, fucking racists fucking xenophobics fucking city full of fucking shitheads there are other people around here why isn’t anyone but i don’t want to die either that's how it is, eli, always strive for yourself.

i get up fast and sprint to the monster, screaming about cops and a monster attack and insults, anything to spark a bit of panic, deck a scrawny fucker the one who.was.going.to.shoot.him. and aim for the skeleton, who yells.

[i recognize him]

i grab him by the hood and run in some narrower streets, hearing yells after me, and the anxiety is building up a little too much for my usual adrenaline numbing spell to work-

i trip on some trash and my own feet -same difference, fall over, roll, get up that’s how you do it eli, hit and roll, but back on your feet. And keep running, holding the monster close to my chest he’s warm that means he’s still alive and ok, right, left, dodge the you whore you bitch get back here you bitch and the bullets yup i’m good at thiiiiiiis- a bullet still grazes my ankle, I stumble, nearly faceplant, and it hurts but like a sting and I’m still alive. The adrenaline keeps pumping and i feel so light, i sprint into a shabby alley, panting like a dog, i think i’m crying, and drool is mixing with it. i can feel the headache coming, and mc comicbonedude is heavy enough to slip in my arms why won’t he move ? Is he dead ? Is he in shock ?

[i recognize him]

i run to a staircase, you know, the rusty and slippery metal kind outside buildings for fire escape ? Exactly what i need, as the assholes keep firing at me, huh. I climb, to the top, jump to the next building am i really doing this as me for real and run. i don’t know if they’re still after us, my ears won’t stop ringing, and i can’t tell it apart from sirens. I’m on a four stories building running to save a skeleton who

who starts emitting blue and yellow light and what the hell is happening why am i floating holy fuck i’m two inches away to be totally out of not-looking-near-enough-at-all- concrete to fall on.

[i recognize him]

[*focus insufficient]

[*procedure fails]

He’s silent. Sprawled two meters away from where I’m hanging

h-how did i

Looking exhausted and furious, like a cornered dog who has already taken on a tiger in the past, and from his left pupil there’s a cyan blue and yellow flame ? crackling, or bubbling ? or is it just flashing. can’t tell eyes too blurry. and dark blue is surrounding me at my sternum is that monster magic it’s beautiful, did i get headshot i can’t thing straight no. i can’t breath. It’s holding me in place. i can’t breath properly. i try to call out for him, he’s just overreacting in an understandable alarm but

please don’t crunchy crush the goofy girl on the cracking hard ground but when I try, I look at his eyes. One is glowing a fiery but disturbed cyan and yellow, with shards of red here and there, and the other is blank dead. Black. i’m terrified. He pants and that’s the only sound for a while. He’s alive. Good. Am i going to still be alive after this ?

“DON’T DROP ME DON’T WANNA DIE DON’T KILL ME OKAY IT'S THE LAST TIME I’M HELPING OUT ANYONE I PROMISE I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. DUDE PLEASE.”

“wha- ghh- !” He flinches like waking up. He lets go- lets go of meeee-

“AAAAAAAAAH NO !” He gasps and grasps again. i only slipped a meter into nothingness “Oh please please please i really don’t wanna die, and not falling, it looks like suicide i don’t do that i managed not to so don’t spoil it all ok i-”

“what- kid no stop r-”

“SO SORRY DON’T KILL ME DON’T-”

“ kiiiid please” he’s clutching at his skull now.

“PLEASE D-”

“shut. up”

Ok. Not talking.

Whimpering and sobbing a bit, but he better take this because i’m having an anxiety attack and it will escalate into a hyperventilation fit if he doesn't lower me on the ground and I can't calm down.

“Please don’t kill me.” blurts out anyway of my gritted teeth.

A white light bulb alights in his empty eyes socket, and the glow in the other dims. Could he not see me before ? Hey, is that a crack across his skull ? Augh that looks like it s t i n g s.

“ H-hey, there. You- ah, fffuck this hurts. You okay ?” i try.

Nothing. He stares at me, as if watching out for something. I can feel the power around me wavering. He needs to come to his senses before I go kiss the dirt.

“P-please don’t leave me hanging.” He snorts, but keeps scrutinizing me, shaking. ‘s like he’s half understanding the pun, half not there. Silent.

“Woah, that was bad, even for me; guess i’m just that high.” i attempt a feeble finger gun.

He holds back a laugh “pffft- what the hell, kid- oh fuck.” He starts, realizing what i’m hinting at. He drags me back to the ground. i still can't move, but breathing is easier. i whimper again -heck i’m surprised i didn't piss myself- and draw out a looong sigh.

Now we stare at each other awkwardly is not strong enough to cut it. And i observe, that i m may be sweaty, tired and teary, but he looks bad.

His skull is definitely cracked across his left eye, he won’t stop shaking, sweats profusely and seems to have troubles breathing so monsters skeletons breathe and pant. Ok. Do they cry too ? Cuz that weird red stuff oozing from his damaged eye doesn’t look like tears but that can’t be blood… right ?

He looks horrible, if only physically. But the way his eyes sway, with this grin I can’t find the reason for, it worries me more. Is he ... having an episode, or something ? i mean he could be and be totally inoffensive, but ? Was he the one attacking first back at the bar ? is he really having an episode of some sort ? i’m not too nice when i’m having an episode either.

Should i cry for help ? i can't budge from his grasp.

And i know i shouldn’t but i’m feeling an attack coming up- the restraint is triggering my ptsd ridden ass…..

Let me go y-you there c’mon i can’t take this not my shit nuh uh lemme go lemme go lemme go

“ lemme go…” woah not pathetic at all. “Let me go.” no reaction, try again “LET M-” i can’t move my mouth.

The pressure fucktupled, and it’s like my lungs and my muscles are being crushed.

“ok buddy, pal, chum, whoever you are, what the fuck ?”

i can’t answer you, you dumbfuck you just muted me

“i mean, nice save and all. thanks i guess. but who the heck and what on earth are you up to ?” both of his eyes went black oh my god what did i do to your highness Hecate like seriously now how did i end in such a mess.

“H-how about we both calm down first, and talk next ?” i seem to break through the mute. ok good, deep breaths, count backward from ninety to zero, relax, we’re both freaking out, he’s as spooked as you-which is funny cuz he’s the skeleton- focus on breathing.

Still no answer. “Look, i, i get it, bad freak out, i interrupted you back there, i get you’re fucked up-” nothing but his eyes narrowing “ but i’m cool. Swear i am. i’m cold and m’name is uidelsib. you can call me sib ! Cool enough ?”

i extend my hand, ready to give him a strong good ole handshake, but he doesn’t take up on it.

Instead he stays frozen, “Not cool, dude,” hand still extended, but lowered, as if he could grab me again “ r e a l l y not cool,” i insist, and his bones are, he’s. shaking ? Yeah. Shivering violently, like he’s super cold too, which is pretty normal given he’s what. Up with me on a high building, one, two hundred meters in the sky, exposed to the icy wind ? Figures.

His bones are making this clattering clickety sound, stresses me out damn. He’s studying me. But it’s also like he can’t focus. Shivering too much. Shock, probably. His eye socket’s still oozing that red shit. Not thick enough to be blood, and too scarletish, but what do i know ‘bout monsters.

[oh, what do i don’t]

He takes a step toward me.

“ not fucking cool, not in the least-” i let out, jaw still clenched.

His bones rattles one last time, on the cement ground. His knees buckled under him the next moment he moved. His arms couldn’t support him.

i approach him, concerned. Once the pursuit’s adrenaline and the near death experience done with, my mind is settling, and i can think more clearly. He, on the other hand…

He stirs as i come closer. Tries to growl something i can’t decipher, but it comes out as a whimper, pained. My heart constricts in my ribs. Fuck, i hadn’t meant shit to go down like that. i seem to have a talent to fuck up, but i only wanted to help.

i tell him that. He grunts, doesn’t acknowledges me further, and quivers as he tries to stand up. He can’t though. I see it from where i am, he shakes enough to make a dr.pepper bursts.

i snort at the image, a skeleton shaking a bottle fixed on his spine, then flies away with the pressure- w o w i’m gone far. Need a bed. Asap. Concentrate on the situation at hand.

He, though, doesn’t react well to my laughter. He immediately stiffens, and

goes slack. Unmoving on the ground. He fainted ? i go on a hunch and inch closer, on the tip of my toes, hunched over myself, because i can’t tell if he’s dead or if i’m going to be.

[i recogni-- --- [REDACTED]]

i shake my head furiously. i can’t let those thoughts take my attention away from what’s taking place here and now.

i’m close enough now. something like a meter away, i can see him still shivering, and hear him rasp some breaths out. So he can breathe-

[i knew tha- [REDACTED]]

Not Now. i need to focus, i got a seemingly dying monster mere steps away from me.

i crouch down, slowly. My leg muscles burn enough i’m trembling too and i’m pretty sure my teeth are chattering, the noise mingling with his bones against the asphalt.

He’s still face down, arms limp on his sides, and i spy his eyelights peeking at me, way less sharp than when he had me pinned in the air just. one minute ago ?

i creep closer, he tenses, i stop.

“You’re ok.” i whisper. “We’re ok and we’re leaving.” i try to keep my voice from wavering but meh. ‘s not like there’s much face to save, for both of us.

i reach my hand toward him. He doesn’t move. i put it on his back, barely pressing, he tenses. And then disappears with a ping.

[ (*did you think i was going to stay here and t--- -- -) [REDACTED]]

NOT NOW I SAID. GE E. WHERE DID HE Go ?

He’s back right where he was. He basically just blinked in and out of existence. And he’s looking even more exhausted, if that’s possible, sweating bullets and heaving noisily, before he quiets himself. He’s also glaring at me, but meekly, and i’m not too scared anymore to be honest. He looks more frustrated than anything, although i can guess he’s actually scared to death. HAH.

“Hey you’re ok, i said, i just. Need to get us somewhere safe. Yeah. Not here.” i croak out. i’m starting to feel the freezing wind more, too. i can’t afford to stall and give him time to think. i can still hear the sirens. They’re looking for someone. And i don’t want the police on my back, even if i didn’t do anything reprehensible in the end.

So i slide my hands under him, still making sure i don’t touch any possible sensitive areas, and decide to go for the armpits, and hey i might get a tickle out of him ! ...ahah no. As i try to heave him up on his… surprisingly tiny feet ? did he lose his shoes or. Whatever. He just stays as silent as he is limp. And boy is he limp as a rock. Not quite as heavy though, good.

“You’re lighter than you look-” might as well try to make some conversation “and uh, can you walk ?” Or at least i can try to fill the heavy silence. Let’s just forget the “tried to kill you” thing. We’re both in deep crap anyway, and i can understand having baggage.

He really won’t walk though. He barely makes a sound too. If i hadn’t heard him sooner i’d think he can’t talk or something. i barely get a grunt out of him as i put him on my hip, which isn’t hard given he’s like. Half my size. Fun sized boney menace.

And i begin to trudge down the stairs- not the ones i came from, i don’t want to get caught if the cops are back there and it’s too far anyways. i want a bed. Now. A lone pillow would do.

He doesn’t seem much different, dangling on my side barely sparing me a glare as i look down at him, checking if he’s not dusting yet. He stopped “bleeding” at least. He still got that nasty huge scar.

i can feel him staring when i’m not looking. He’s still wary. Probably only lets me pull this only because he can’t not. Heh, at least he doesn’t seem to mind that i’m carrying him like you’d do a toddler. i just, need my other arm to grip and grab at the staircase bars when i slip.

Nah he looks more disgusted to be touching me than anything. Everytimes we get into more contact, because i’m bumping a wall or stumbling on my own feet again, i can distinctly feel him shudder, and try to get away. It’s just a little distracting, and unbalancing, and a lil tidbit hurtful. But i can’t blame him. i’d be throwing a fucking fuss and dishing fists if our places switched.

At least it’s relatively calm. We didn’t meet anyone, maybe a few rats rummaging garbage, and some monsters hurrying home, Whimsuns i think ? No one that paid us any mind at least.

So we’re still walking slowly when rain hits us hard, and nearly sends me on my ass. Doesn’t help the shivering, but now it’ll clean the streets out for sure. It’s something past midnight, i don’t wanna find anyone out at this hour.

But i’d kinda appreciate finding my way to somewhere because

“Aaaaaaaaaaa a h ahhh i got no idea the fuck i’m g-going…” Ah fuck. i said that out loud. And now my passenger's giving me his best ‘are u fuckin kiddin me’ stare. He’s. Very unamused.

“L-look, this isn’t, this isn’t my part of the city, okay?? i’m- i’m tryin’ to g-get us to the monster neighbourhoods, but i don’t know the fuck where it is, alright ?!” My tone escalates with my pitch, and i nearly slip again as he flinches away from me. Damn it, not helping eli, still in an episode or something. Don’t yell.

“Y-y-yeeah okay, look. ‘m sorry i cried but i’m in shock and still lost, kay? S-so maybe help or som’thin’ ?” Indications would help yeah. And now he’s listening, he’s also less shaky and putting his weight on me in a way that hinders our progression less. Good.

He nods. Good.

“Good. Gooood good good good.” i’m on autopilot now, following the skeleton’s grunted directions. i take a few wrong turns every now and then, but what can you do with nonverbal advice, and we end up in a part of the city i recognize, because i’ve seen it on tv and wanted to come look around anyway.

The gym stadium. A big building, at least big for a monster building, given the prices get surprisingly higher when they’re buying, stylized like a Japanese dojo, with anime advertisement posters (whether for the dojo or the animes i got no ideas) on the walls and- oh my gosh are those- fish, dolphin, shark and starfish stickers on the windows.

“Perfect !” i half yell, significantly lighting up. Mc comicbonedude looks at me like i’ve grown a second head, and i give him a big manic smile, obviously stressed out. My right eye might be twitching a little too. Does that when i’m under pressure. He decides to go back to slumping against me and questioning his life choices, and i take that as an ‘okay GO’ to proceed with my genius only just made up plan.

i march up quickly, -i want this DONE WITH. NEXT TIME i GO ON AN IMPROMPTU RESCUE MISSION I’M TAKING MY LEAD UMBRELLA AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHING- to the tall doors, who thanks fucking gods are under a porch, that saves us from being drenched anymore, and pound it with all i got.

“OI BLUE WATER GAL ! OPEN UP!!! I KNOW YOU’RE STILL WORKING, YOU ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT NOT SLEEPING AND PROVIDING A 19/24H SERVICE ON TV!!! OPEN UUUPP!! B I T C H! OPEN!!UP!!”

Skeleton is googly eyeing me like the second head i’ve definitely grown started reciting the ten commandments to belzebuth themselves,

[and he’s not too far off]

but i don’t care my dude i am d o n e. If i get welcomed with a fist to the face i don’t give a diggly doogly dang fuck so long i can get inside and lay down. Even on the cold ass tile floor. i’m don-

“OI PUNK, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT RUCKUS ?? YOU TRYING TO PICK A DUEL WITH ME ? CUT IT OUT UNLESS YOU WANT A POUNDING COMPETITION FUFUFUFUFUFUH~ I’M OFFERING THOUGH !”

Ah, right, i’m still hitting that door. Ouch, that’s gonna swell. Oh welp.

But the voice came from...up?

i step backward some, under the rain, ugh, and look up to see, yup, a noodly armed blue fish person with bright scarlet red hair pulled up in a bun, all sweaty, a poor guy in a chokehold, peeking out of the second floor window, taking in the pouring rain with gusto. A gigantic lightning bolt, quickly followed by loud ass thunder, comes to compliment her boisterous apparition, and she grins- smirks? wide locking her single eye on me, the lighting making her golden teeth flash.

She comes down to greet my miserable form fast, not taking the stairs, but jumping out of the window (much more graciously than mc comicbonedude previously), having let go of her victim- sparring partner previously, good gods, and lands at my feet like nobody’s business, to then bolt up, eager to see the intruder to her night sessions.

And Undyne, former Captain of the Royal Guard of Monsterkind Underground, all steel like blue scales, glinting golden slitted eye and sharp mouth, now renowned Master of Fights in her stadium, among monsters and humans even more, already black belt of more martial arts than i know of, and fresh survivor of one of the biggest terrorist hits on monsters yet, is staring me down, from her easy two meters height, like i’m her next meal.

i gulp. i’m so fucked.

i’m so fucked and not just for the fact that i am royally gay and all, but also cuz…

[i recognize her]

[she was so hard to f---- [REDACTED]]

[couldn’t figure out that all we had to do was to run and then ---- -- ------- [REDACTED]]

“Uh ?” Her gaze has finally caught on my now bundled up passenger, who’s shivering in cold rather than fear, on my hip, who only lazily grins a

“sup”

“YO SANS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS WIMPY HUMAN AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT ?? AND Y’ALL ARE SOAKED !! GET INSIDE, NERDS !!!”

[i know him]

i follow hollowly the orders and get inside, feel a weight leave my side-kinda miss that already, to then feel a big fluffy towel drape over me. Then i sit down. In the hall on the ground, probably. Wooden floor is in my direct line vision. Uh. Thing is well taken care of, all waxed and clear, who would have guessed.

[i know them both. very well actually]

[Chara would be nervously giggling if they were here]

[wonder what they’re up to]

[and Frisk too, obviously]

[what about Flowey though. no idea what the lil shit is up to in pacifist endings]

i’m so f UCK E D.

---

Aaaand that’s how i ended up rocking back and forth in Undyne’s dojo’s main hall for half of the night, muttering about video games and fucking witchcraft gone wrong again and shit fuck damnit, i guess it was denial all along those last two, six months ? And oOH WELP, guess i did cradle like a toddler my fictional crush for the last, what, half hour ? Whoopsies.

Hhhhhhhh

fuck that ink witch status, that was not planned.

___

When i finish my flashback, and it’s been something like six months again since, got to “meet” his super cool great bro, not on his account though, Undyne just had to introduce Papsy to the dweeb that “saved his big brother” and also Asgore, Toriel, for a quick ‘thanks you’, even a small interview with Mettaton, that made a hit on the Undernet, and mingled a bit with monsters- i’m friend with Chesty Brun now (Burgerpants), and Alphys, because we’re following the same mangas-

he’s already gone, burger nearly untouched, ketchup covered fries half eaten and drink finished, and i’m tempted to ask Grillby, who is hovering close behind his bar, fretting a little, in front of my frozen form, if “you’re gon throw that out ? sure i can’t finish ?” Because it’d be a real shame to let all that delicious grub go to waste. But that’d be creepy as fuck, even moreso taking my feelings for the small dude, and his against me, so i don’t, and he’ll probably feed it to his pet lava rock anyway, so i stop hugging myself and rocking back and forth and go back to my seat, waving him off with a sorry smile, and go back to sullenly sipping my vanilla milkshake.

Can’t blame Sans.

He’s cautious. Understandable.

i know what he’s had to put up with.

[and so do all of you]

[dirty brother killers ?]

[i hope not]

[i really wonder how’s Chara doing…]

AAAAAAAaaaaaaah how do i turn this shit off ?? Let me pretend i’m normal in a normal situation stupid brain thing !!

...ah. screw it. this magic milkshake is fabulous. That’s totally what i’m crying about.

“Don’t worry Grillby.”

_______________

ye don’t worry my dudes. can i call y’all that ? ‘s gender neutral. ‘m a demi girl, and you can call me “my dude”, my dudes. wow what a bull of crap i pulled here, sorry trans girls and enbies

this isn’t beta read cuz i’m on my own and english isn’t my native language, i’m french, so plz forgive mistakes.

i had some drafts lying around my google docs for a year now, mostly about bugging and kissing snas, put them together and thought i’d do an actual Thing with it all. this isn’t good, i know it.

lest to say i have no idea what i’m doing !

and don’t know when this’ll update, it it does. i had the motivation to finish this cuz there was no clients at the restaurant i worked at back in july. blah blah blebs blah.

#/witchcraft #/unsanitary #/c slur #/physical assault #/alcohol #/hate crime #/racism #/panic attack #Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch #uidelsibwrites #old art

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siodium · 5 years

Photo

tldr: we visited a bookstore in amsterdam and tried some dutch snacks that our prof recommended

my frens and i decided to cook lunch in the dorms instead of eating out in an attempt to save money since we spent too much yesterday

mmmm white rice with brussel sprouts fried in butter and garlic, vegan fish nuggets (that were slightly burnt i’m sorry lol) aND SOME ALCOHOL

i’d take homecooked meals over the cheaper cafe/restaurant food any day

after lunch we headed back to amsterdam with two ideas in mind: (1) to visit a local bookstore, and (2) to do some (souvenir?) shopping

i was honestly expecting a small antique bookstore but the one we went to was pretty modern and stocked english books

I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I LOVE THE COVER DESIGNS FOR THE DUTCH VERSION OF HARUKI MURAKAMI’S BOOKS hoLY shIT THEY ARE SO PRETTY??? i was this close 👌 to buying one just for the cover

TT why don’t the english versions have such nice covers...

oh but i did find a book titled ‘convenience store woman’ by sayaka murata and it sounded pretty interesting... (+ nice cover as a bonus for getting a physical copy) maybe kinokuniya might have it??

this was the view from the bookstore!! pretty nice

unfortunately we couldn’t do much souvenir shopping bc we started our journey way too late (we ate lunch at around 1 pm) and weren’t aware that shops close SUPER EARLY here

welp that’s what happens when you aren’t prepared

anyway we decided to just enjoy the scenery and wander around aimlessly until it was dinner time

idk if you can read the words on the blue banner but it says ‘magna plaza’

it’s actually a normal three-storey mall despite looking like a castle (or museum) from outside

during the pizza dinner, dr. julia (who taught us for food chemistry in year 2) suggested some popular dutch foods that we should try while we’re here

ok so i may not have recognised her when she joined us at our table during the pizza dinner bUT she was my fav wageningen prof bc... she brought mini stroopwafels into my life for us when she came to sg to hold the practical (it was the first fst lab we had!!) and they are the ones that i’ve been trying to look for

one of them was poffertjes (or mini dutch pancakes)!! so we stopped by a cafe to try the pankeks~ i ordered stroopwafel ice-cream as well bc i wanted... ice-cream... in a cold land

they were nice!! how can you go wrong with sweets oqo

for dinner we had a falafel wrap thing (i can’t remember its actual name) but falafel is a deep-fried ball made of chickpeas and it’s pretty common in netherlands?? idk we had it as a pizza topping the other day

if i had to describe the taste of falafel balls, it would be... dry... and bean-y

my phone was acting up again so this falafel isn’t mine but my friend’s! the employees would just give you a wrap with the falafel balls in it and afterwards you can put in more ingredients (vegetables, sauces) yourself

there was a snack bar near the place we had dinner at and so we tried kaassoufflé (also a recommendation by dr. julia) which is a deep fried snack containing melted cheese

i wasn’t too fond of the taste... idk what cheese they used but it was particularly stinky (maybe goat cheese? not really a fan of that)

the snack bar also had bitterballen (basically deep fried beef ball) but i didn’t really want to try it for obvious reasons ://

post-trip comment: although i didn’t try bitterballen at the snack bar, we were served some at the beer company that we visited in the second week and i was hungry so i ate two... i mean... they’re alright i guess?? there’s like some mushy thing inside which i’m hoping is gravy and not the meat

oH i almost forgot but we also tried fries with mayonnaise (once again, as recommended)!! they were fresh, piping hot, and delicious

i was expecting us to return to campus earlier today bc we chose a dinner location that was MUCH closer to the station (unlike the ulu seafood place) bUT NOPE

well the night scenery is quite nice but tbh moving around in the dark was a rather scary experience especially when we were out of amsterdam bc there were almost no streetlights to illuminate our surroundings

took the last bus to the campus but this time the seniors weren’t there to help us

we ended up getting off at the wrong stop (one stop after the one we were supposed to stop at) and we had to walk back in the darkness ;; it was midnight already so there weren’t a lot of ppl out weh

#amsterdam is really pretty especially with all the canals #log

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revengebodyjourney · 6 years

Text

Day 4 (12/30/17)

Well be being you would think after my wreck yesterday that i would be allowed to relax and get to sleep in....in this house fat chance...i could probably die and i would be brought back to do something that there was no need for.

After being abruptly being summoned form my bed to help with a valve on the toilet. I prepared myself breakfast...I still have not gotten the items i need to make something different so i went with my usual easy and quick to make. That right...4 slice of bacon and two large eggs prepared scrambled style. Instead of coffee i had a nice refreshing glass of low fat milk.

The day went on i of course tried to return to my vast comfort area of sleep (bed) but was not allowed too. Errands had to be run and preparations for the impeding drop in temperature (yeah btw weatherman where is the snow i was suppose to see like yesterday?) Only person in the world that can be wrong 99% of the time and still keep their job...weatherpeople.

Upon returning to the house I got a surprise my books i had ordered recently had come in which meant i finally had something to read lol.

The picture is actually of lunch...my grandmother was not in the mood to cook nor did she feel like cleaning up the kitchen when we offered to cook and even when we said we would clean she said she had not spent all morning cleaning the whole house just to have it messed up again. Before any of y'all think the house was a wreck this is the lady that mops the floors 5 times a day with pure rubbing alcohol and then steam mops them with her shark...she also vacuums the tile floor. If you are now catching my drift to the pointless-ness of her ferocious approach to keeping the house cleaner and looking like a home no one lives in. I really think to her a house should no signs that a person is ever there. *rolls eyes*

Anyway for lunch we went to Asian City hibachi grill. I of course start thinking, “well sh!t, what am i going to eat at this place.” Of course being low carb i had to stay away from rice and soy sauce...i know should have just shot myself on the way in and saved myself the torture of wanting it. Well handy dandy google came in the clutch. Plus a big shout out to the chef from being so nice and handling all my requests with a smile and telling me it would be no trouble. He was even nicer and double checked if butter was okay to use when preparing my food. I ordered steak medium well and shrimp without the soy sauce. I of coursed asked for no rice and then got loaded down with the hibachi veggies (no soy sauce once again). I did get some of the mustard peanut sauce and ginger sauce on the side just to dip my meat in.

While running some more errands to prepare for more items falling apart in the house since it is a little over 20 years old and everything seems to want to go out or leak...i realized i wanted some coffee. So i went to Starbucks and got myself a grande Christmas blend with a splash of coconut milk and a pump of sugar free mocha syrup...the person taking my order even reminded me about wanting cinnamon ( i may have been going to Starbucks to much to have people reminding me of what i usually order). Anyways I was like oh thats perfect thank you ma'am....and then i kinda of stopped. Quick question: have you ever met a person and you are not exactly sure if they are (wish for you pro-gender choice people, however i do hate to inform you there are only two genders and your DNA no matter how much you change the outside is going to show you the gender you really are.) This was one of those moments i had said ma'am and was not really sure if i should have. The person was oh thank you and nice so i guess i had said the right thing or being the customer service job have become use to ppl saying ma'am or sir by accident. However I must say this person had lovely handwriting...i wish i could write as neat and elegant as this person had when they wrote my order on the lid.

Of course once home i wanted to relax since i had been going and going just like that bunny on the commercials....but oooohhhh no the Christmas tree, which was in a corner out of the way and being left alone by all the animals in the house, had to come down. I did not put that damn thing up, fighting getting all the lights to come on, have the angel perfectly looking down but not too much, decorate the ribbons on it to perfectly match the angel, make sure the branches were fluffy and full, place each ornament in just the right spot so the tree did not look crowded and do this a couple of times due to my OCD...to have it not stay up for even three weeks because someone in the house felt that the tree had hijacked the house and made it messy. Not to mention i had to listen to all the critiques about how i decorated it and did it when the same person critiquing wanted nothing to do with it....ill be damned I'm dealing with that. So i continued to relax and kept getting asked when i was gonna take down the tree...my first response was if you want it down so bad you do it but of course i can't be rude or disrespectful (although everyone else can)

After some time i realized i was hungry and it was close to dinner time...once again i came to the realization there was not much in the house that i could make quickly and stay with in the bounds of my diet I'm trying to keep. So i improvised. I found “ready to cook” Tyson chicken strips and threw those in a pan then chopped up two strips of bacon and tossed those in as well and let it all simmer together. Now i like my food to taste good...if I'm gonna eat it , it has to have flavor. So i sprinkle in a little cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. I think throw in some minced garlic (the world market kind). let that simmer all together a bit and i realize i need some kinda veggies...well i love baby spinach so i grab a handful and toss it in letting it all cook and welt down together. Honestly or just throwing it together it was pretty delicious...the pepper seasoning really helped to make it good. All was accompanied by a large cool glass of water.

I was trying to be very reserved today in my eating due to the fact i would not be able to make it to the gym with everything needing to be done and the weather was rather nasty (i was not feeling that). I keep track of all this in my “Lose it” app on my phone and really watching my nutrients especially the carb percentage. Also I know I'm went out of my guidelines yesterday with chick-fil-a and the fact tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and i know I'm gonna be cheating with food right and left so i had to watch myself today. Im even considering going in tomorrow and doing a two hour long workout just to not feel to guilty later.

Great news...i did amazing on my percentages...44% protein, 44% fat, and only 11% carbs...which if i am not mistaken is my lowest carb count yet!!!!!!!!

Well that is it for today...probably will not have a post tomorrow due to the fact of new year’s eve...or i might do two or three mini posts to keep the update going depends on how my day plays out. Well I'm out y'all...Mr. Sandman calling my name..TTFN.

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

Would you consider yourself a good flirt?

What do you like better about yourself: your boobs or butt? neither?

Have you ever been homeless? not yet :x

Have you ever been to a palm reader? If so, what did they say? nah, I can learn myself

What’s your bra size? *shrug*

Is there anybody that you’re glad that they aren’t in your lives anymore? could say so

Has anybody ever fought somebody for you? verbally

What color do you wear most often? not sure

Are you more likely to take the blame, or blame somebody else? I blame myself even when I blame somebody else lol

Do you like your hair? wouldn’t say so

Do you find it irritating when people don’t trust you? why would they trust me or anybody actually?

Would you consider yourself a busy person? as for a person who doesn’t do anything in particular...

Do you hate your phone? sometimes it annoys me but it’s fine

What was the reason for your last hospital visit? I’ve been to ER because of allergy

Have you ever driven while under the influence? I don’t drive nor drink so...

Describe the earrings you’re wearing, if any. my ears aren’t pierced but if they were I would wear tiny hoops or some weird shit like this spider I bought for John and never gave her

Do you know anybody who is studying abroad? used to know some ppl who did

How well can you swim? I can’t

What aren’t you going to miss about summer? mosquitos

Have you ever been kayaking before? no and don’t wanna

Do you ever wish you could go back in time? it’s complicated

Can you reach your back with your arms? not some parts

What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius is my sun sign but Capricorn is my dominant sign

Have you ever played Pac-Man? I don’t recall

What is something that you lack? where should I start...

Have you ever been told that you have a nice boobs? my gf likes them

When’s the last time you ate a Tic-Tac? ages ago and don’t miss them, completele forgot they exist

Do you own any knick knacks? shitload

Have you ever said that something is “whack”? doubt it

When’s the last time you felt attacked? today

Do you crack your knuckles? Any other parts of your body? omg no, I hate it!

What’s the last thing you had to make a stack of? pile of clothes?

Is it hard for you to keep track of things? hmm...

What’s the last thing you accidentally whacked a body part on? not sure what part of my body I banged last

What does your most recent backpack look like? recently used or bought?

Have you ever crawled through a window? I think so

Is there anything in your past that you’d like to try again? sigh...

Who was the last person to come to your house? Gosia visited me yesterday to pee XD

Do you like winter time? nooooo

Who do you not get along with? majority of society

Have you ever been around someone who was high? yup

Do you like where you live? meh

Are you a jealous person? might be

Do you wish someone would call you? absolutely not, I dread phonecalls, unless hospital then only if they have good news

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to read minds? not all the time like Buffy had because I would go crazy

Do people ever spell your name wrong? they spell and write my surname wrong and sometimes they use different names than I have like Zosia or Kamila wtf

Is there anyone you want to fix things with? ...

Why do you do these surveys? why not? it’s fun

Where did you last go outside you’re house? second hand and local food store to buy bread

What is the point of violence? depends

Do you like horror movies better or comedy? black comedy :P

You could move somewhere else, would you? yes

Do you like calling or texting better? texting

Night out or night in? in

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back? definitely not on my back

Whens the next time you will see the person you like? we planned to meet today but we’ll see

How do you look right now? not as bad as I feel

What do you think of when you hear the word “meow”? my gf

where do you see yourself in 5 years? dead

who is the first guy that pops in your head? my father

have you ever read the book “the perks of being a wallflower”? watched a movie, it was nice

do you get dessert normally while out to eat? nope

have you ever let a door slam on someones face on purpose? whaaaat?!

who was your first kiss? my current partner

is there somewhere you’re meant to be right now? not really, nah

name one childhood memory. personal

where is your childhood best friend now? dunno

have you moved in the past 2 years? I never moved in my entire life

how many rooms are in your house? 3

can you see anything red at this moment? hand mirror

do you look at the keyboard when you type? when I start typing

have you ever dated someone to get someone else jealous? umm...

have you ever been used; and then tossed to the side? more than once

if you look to your left do you see a window? I do indeed

Where do you want to live when you are older?: my own apartment

When was the last time you were sick?: I’m chronically ill, does that count?

What is the relationship between you and the last person you kissed?: we’re in a relationship

Name something you disliked about the day you had today?: my body is itchy, I have period, my plans got ruined, I’m anxious, it’s cold and my dad isn’t home so I miss him, I regret spending money etc etc etc

Have you had your birthday this year yet?: yeah

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually?: not in details :x

Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed?: parent

Do you have clothes that belong to other people?: I don’t borrow clothes

If you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first?: my sister is already married

What would you name your future daughter?: I’m not having children but I have a whole list of my fav names :D

Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed?: I have

Angry at anyone?: just a tiny bit

Is there anyone you would do anything for?: not everything but a lot

Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?: yep

Is it hard to make you laugh?: to some, it also depends on the moment

Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?: pfft

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?: *shrug*

Where is the person you last kissed at this moment?: doing her hair

Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?: lip

Next time you will kiss someone?: today?

Something’s wrong. First person you go to?: parents?

Do you hate it when people smoke around you?: usually, most often

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?: it seems

Ever gotten yourself into a confusing situation?: that’s life

Do you have an attitude?: I guess

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color?: nope

Would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?: I’m not single now but if I wasn’t... How was last night?: not good enough

Have you ever dyed your hair?: blue (grey), green, black, red

When someone says “we need to talk,” what runs through your mind?: oh shit oh damn oh fuck I’m screwed what’s going on - so anxious!

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?: used to know

Are your parents still together?: they are

What are you wearing on your feet?: socks and raccoon slippers

Is it awkward when you run into your ex?: would be not only awkward

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?: myself, God, my mom, my gf, maybe even president

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?: not yet

Do you remember names or faces better?: neither

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/ girlfriend drinks?: kinda

Waiting for something?: more than one thing

You find out your ex is having a kid with someone you say?: stupid, gross

When’s the last time you were surprised? positively or negatively?

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? water

Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her? -

Do you find smoking unattractive? the smell and taste and the fact it’s unhealthy and expensive habit

If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? health for all, forever, not saying about injuries but diseases

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? 100%

Whose bed were you on last? mine duh

When was the last time you changed in front of someone? this day

Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? 3 times and counting :x

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? grrr

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? whatever

Do you believe exes can really ever be “just friends”? there’s a tiny possibility of that

Your ex wants you back? that’s why we’re together

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? 1 person

Ever dated someone cute with crappy personality? sadly

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? I said that

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? that would be a miracle as we’re both women

Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? neck

Would it hurt seeing the person you last kissed kissing someone else? that would be also disgusting

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? dad

Has the last person you kissed, met your family? she knew my father but yesterday met my mom as well

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? my gf

You’re insanely drunk stumbling through the streets, slurring songs, who are you with? someone who made me drunk and will pay for it

Do you like to cuddle? when in the mood for that

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? not everything unless I was dying or smth

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? and I regret that

Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don’t talk to at all? bunch of ppl

Can you have more than one best friend? yas

Are you starting to realize anything? this question bothers me somehow

Do you hate it when people mispronounce your name? I’m used to it even tho it doesn’t happen that often

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it ended? it is still going on

Do you think blondes are stupid, honestly? that ask, really?

Can you get over people easily? yes and no

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? second hand, it was in children’s section, whoops I have no boobs nor weight nor height

So, what do you want for your birthday? Jughead’s hat

If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing? obvi

Did you sleep alone last night? I did

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? NO

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you didn’t do? many ppl

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? I have

How was your weekend? emotional?

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

Do you think that you’re a good person? am not, I wish I was better

If you could seek revenge on someone would you? I’m not a revengeful person but I laugh when someone I don’t like is punished by life, sorry not sorry?

Do you like your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend? my mom or myself?

Ever been called heartless? smth similar

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? if they’re gay or family members

Are you able to get people to believe you when you are lying? I’m good at lying but I don’t like to lie

How many more minutes until you will next eat? soon Do you have to go to school and/or work today? no job and graduated

Have you read all of the Harry Potter books? not interested

Would you rather no heat in winter or no A/C in the summer? no A/C in the summer is way better

Do you do your own laundry? my mom helps me

Have you ever read an entire book in one sitting? like twice

Have you ever seen your favorite band live? only Ania Rusowicz

Do you drink water or soda more often? water, I don’t drink soda at all

Do you like cats? they’re cool but don’t want to own one

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with M? my gf’s name starts with M :)

If forced to be one, would you rather be bulimic or anorexic? excuse me?... anorexic tho as I hate puking

Wasn’t Heath Ledger the best Joker there ever was? Nicholson was and I didn’t watch the last Joker movie yet with Phoenix

If you found out your friend was smoking weed, would you be disappointed? mhm

Do you find that people don’t really understand you? most of them, most of the time

Do you like the ocean? nah

Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong? I’m never sure?

Are you listening to music currently? am not

Do you read and believe your horoscope? for fun ;) but once in a long time

Does the news depress you? that’s why I avoid it

Can you resist temptation? more than most ppl I know

What do/did you normally get detentions for? other’s fault

Does your alarm clock actually awaken you? it didn’t today, my mom’s voice did when she came to inform me my alarm is yapping huehue

Ever think you might have seen a UFO? with my dad

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have a cell phone? my niece because she’s 2

Have you bought any CDs recently? too expensive and I have yt and spotify so why would I?

Do you type fast? very, I was best in school :3

How long are you usually in the shower for? half an hour

Do you know anyone who has their eyebrow pierced? I don’t

What was the last movie you watched? again or for the first time?

When is your birthday? 1st Feb

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? day ago

Have you done anything sexual in the past 12 hours? romantic

Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? she doesn’t have one

Have you ever liked someone older than you? I thought so

What color are your eyes? hazel? Do you enjoy going through a car wash? never been so no idea

Ever called a person useless? I don’t think so Is there someone you wish you were still close with? grandma

Did the last person you kiss have piercings? ears only

Do you like the snow? hate, only snowmen are nice but not Olaf from Frozen

Does it bother you when someone lies to you? usually, obviously

Was the last person you kissed cute? was

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? so many times When you trip, do you get embarrassed or just play it off? embarassed af

Would you consider yourself spoiled? in a way? Let’s test your memory, what color shirt were you wearing during your last kiss? white

Have you ever kissed two people in one night? noooo

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed? not currently but in general we talk

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? too long, like 2 hours

What would your name be with just the first three letters? Zuz - cute

Where did you sleep last night? my own bed

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? family member

Does anyone disgust you? some at all times, some during certain situations

What do you tend to drink a lot of? water

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