#I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots

[peapod20001]

I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time

#random post #I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol #I just mean. our house is a place where people get along #there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever #wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to #need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you #hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more #like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that #we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol #we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING #ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals #her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00 #and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were #me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations #when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol) #and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and #I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread #I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots #it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean #I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish #other people were able to have love and fun times often #I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever #but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people

[cleolinda]

I am so fucking pissed. We’re hearing forecasts that we might get FIVE FUCKING INCHES OF SNOW overnight from Monday to Tuesday. In ALABAMA, where we have no snow removal equipment. Like I think we got one bag of sand for the whole town. No snow tires, I don’t even know what those are. This isn’t cute “Haha it’s just barely below freezing! Snowball fight!!!” snow. This is 14° Fuck (-11° Come the Fuck On) snow. FIVE INCHES? We get flurries and the city descends into madness.

What if we lose POWER. Everything runs off USB cord stuck in the outlet charging nowadays. This is why everyone used to run out and buy Milk Bread Batteries. Listen. I have this memory of the power going out during this wild snowstorm when I was a kid--I want to say it was Winter Storm '93. Ask anyone who lived in Alabama at the time. Like we had Desert Storm '92 the military operation one year and Winter Storm '93 the next. It was that serious in our minds, and I'm not sure you can blame us:

The storm dumped several inches of snow each hour on Birmingham, which ended up with officially 13 inches of snow.

Due to the high winds some parts of Birmingham reported drifts 5 to 6 feet deep. One state trooper reported that the roads were in the worst shape he had ever seen. "People can't tell what's road and what's not."

Low temperatures during the storm were in the 5-to-10 degree range on that Sunday.

IN A TOWN WHERE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT A SNOW PLOW IS. I think we had one for the entire county. Like I'm only kind of joking here.

And our power went out.

The snow was so heavy that it pulled down power lines either by its own weight, or by the tree branches its weight broke off. Meanwhile, the power at my house already went off every time a squirrel sneezed. I don't how many days this lasted; it was probably like, 2-3 days, but in my head, I was 14 years old boxed up with my family with no heat and it lasted two weeks. Maybe three years. The four of us slept in sleeping bags layered with quilts, huddled on the floor around a wood burning fire. (In the haunted house, no less.) The carpet was really nice, at least. We had a--do people still call them boomboxes? A big portable cassette player--battery-powered--with AM/FM radio. We listened to whatever TV shows were broadcast from the ABC station at night. We did have hot water; I took a lot of hot baths. We cooked food over the outdoor grill (which we moved to the comfortably large area under the deck, to hold off the falling snow), sometimes using aluminum foil as a kind of thin impromptu frying pan, and kept perishables like milk and meat in a cooler. Oh, did we have a bag of ice for the cooler? No, we used snow. God knows there was enough of it. Of course, I'm sure the refrigerator was perfectly serviceable even without power, because it was TEN DEGREES FUCK ALL.

I remember going outside a good bit and playing, as much as a teenager plays, in the snow with my seven-year-old sister. I remember that all the neighborhood kids got big rubber trashcan lids and used them as toboggans, going up to the top of the hill on our street and pretty successfully sledding down. Maybe it was "lmao snowball fight!!" snow when I was 14. I'm 45 now, and the cold makes me hurt. It makes me hurt all over. Maybe Winter Storm '24 will be a fun core memory for my nephew. I am pissed. And also charging all my electronics.

(ETA: It’s ‘24 now, isn’t it. My brain hasn’t clicked the date over yet. What is time.)

#me for some reason #long post

[sweet-child]

my day has been fun but i am very tired. it was field day, but i got my yearbook signed by a couple people and signed other people’s yearbook too!!!

also, i hope you had a good sleep! i usually sleep in, too, so i really get it. stay up until the unholy hours of the night and then wake up sometime in or near the afternoon.

Aww!! Our yearbooks aren't given to us until the next year, so I haven't had anyone sign mine in the past few years. I miss signing peoples year books :/ I'm tempted to start collecting videos and photos of my class and then put them into a small booklet where people can actually sign it.

My sleep was disrupted multiple times. And I'm surprised my father hasn't called and said "get your ass out of bed" lmao. Yeah this was the latest I've slept in. Normally I sleep in until 11/12 cst.

#unholy sleep schedule #corvyes!! #i wonder how cherry coke anon is?

[angelicmichael]

Imminient Annihilation Sounds so Dope, Chapter Six

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Pure Madison and Micheal content. They decide what to do after the whole fiasco with Micheals soulmate. There is implied smut in this near the end of the chapter!! This chapter is also another MICHEALS POV chapter so keep that in mind when reading!! This chapter is also incredibly angsty.. basically this chapter is just showing how soft and whipped Micheal is for Madison lmaoo

Words: 3.3k+

A/N: If you read this fic on AO3 then you know I’m literally just copying and pasting my chapter summaries lmao. Anyways, likes and reblogs always appreciated and let me know if you wanna be on the tag list!!

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Your typical morning routine consisted of you waking up around 7 or 8 am, checking your email to see if anyone from the cooperative contacted you, and then carrying on with your day. However, your mornings were looking really different lately.

Over the past two days, you let yourself wake up naturally - or if you heard Madison stir or wake up first you would wake up too. It was nice to let the rays of the sun and chirping of the birds naturally lead you out of slumber, not to be awakening by your deafening alarm clock or feel groggy from over sleeping.

However the circumstances you were now in weren’t too nice though. Waking up was probably the nicest part of your day, sadly. Cherishing the fact that your girlfriend was even still alive would be another highlight of your day.

After you got your bearings together after that night that you had met your soulmate in person, you contacted the cooperative and told them you would need a couple days of a break - without any contact during the break what so ever. Yesterday was the last day of no contact. Today, in a couple hours actually, you would be meeting Jeff and Mutt to get a matience update on Ms. Mead which would be your introduction back into working with the cooperative.

However, you still had a couple hours left until you had to leave Madison. After waking up naturally a couple minutes ago, you lay in Madison’s bed.. trying to get the motivation to actually open your eyes and wake up.

After the events that had occurred two days ago you basically had moved in with Madison, sure it wasn’t official but you were here 24/7. She never asked you to stay but she didn’t have too, you knew it was the right thing to do. And even by reading her mind you knew it was what she (not so secretly) wanted you to do.

After she nearly died you felt insanely guilty. If it wasn’t for you having all of these fucking soulmate issues she wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place. But you knew there was no way for you to predict what happened.

When you met your soulmate, you were supposed to get to the house to meet her before Madison did. The whole point was for you two to arrive at the same time, or atleast you to show up first so that you both could ambush your soulmate at the same time but obvisouly that didn’t happen.

Everything that could’ve gone wrong, did go wrong. Of course your soulmate wasn’t supposed to have such strong powers either. You knew she had powers but when you switched with her and you were in her body, her powers weren’t strong at all. She only had two powers that you were aware of which were fire and the ability to bring people back from the dead. but then she showed up a couple days ago and apparently had even more advanced powers than you did? You were beyond baffled and so fucking angry. Angry that her powers grew so fast and angry that you didn’t pick up on it somehow. How could you have made mistake like this? You couldn’t help but blame yourself for not knowing about your soulmates powers, and than having Madison pay the price for it.

Unpredictability was a characteristic that you despised of the most. Not being able to predict someone made you feel helpless and out of control. You supposed the feeling of wanting to be in control came from the lack of control you felt while growing up. The situations you were put in and the hatred your family felt about you were totally out of your control. And now, you were really starting to feel out of control once again.

You’ve never met anyone who your powers didn’t work on and you honestly never thought that you would.. That’s why you felt so baffled on what to do now. You first had your suspicions about your powers not working on her when you saw her on the porch a couple nights ago.

The first thing you did when you met someone was read their mind. Sometimes it was a conscious act, sometimes not. However, when you met your soulmate you weren’t able to read her mind. No thoughts of hers filled your mind when you looked into her eyes, only your own thoughts seemed to echo in your ears.

You should’ve known then but you wrote that off as maybe one power of yours being defective. However, when you tried to kill her your suspicions became true.

At first you felt stupid for thinking you would be able to take her out so easily. Then you figured it was probably impossible to kill your own soulmate, even if you did hate them. Now you would just have to wait for the apocalypse to take her out you supposed, since she seemed to be invincible towards you. However that felt wrong. It felt wrong to just wait out her death, you felt even more angry and vengeful towards her more than ever that she fucked with Madison. You felt it would only be right if you were the one to take her last breath from her, not some generic bomb that would take out the entire population as well. You wanted to see the life leave her eyes, you wanted to see her be tortured and cry and writhe in pain in her last moments on earth. No one hurt your girlfriend and got away with it, the bitch had to pay. Actions have consequences after all. You just had to find a new way to make this happen but you knew if there was a will there was a way.

She could block your powers, yes. That was a fact but if you physically attacked her? Like with your fists? There’s no way she could be immune to that if you actually manually killed her with your own two hands.

It’s not like you couldn’t choke someone out, hell, you did it to your own grandma and nearly killed her in the process.. You guess that was the plan then. It seemed simple enough, easy even. Almost too easy. You felt stupid for returning back to L.A if you were just going back to Lousiana but you knew that the choice to come back was necessary. Madison needed time to rest, even though you healed her pretty much instantly after the incident happened.

You finally stretched in your bed. Or Madison’s bed, actually. Your arm wandered over to the left side of the bed where Madison typically resided, your hand reaching out for her to pull her close to you - but she wasn’t there. Instead your hand only felt the semi cold bed sheets and your stomach dropped. Where was she?

In normal circumstances you wouldn’t be so irrational and think the worst but after knowing that someone existed who was stronger than you, you were a little on edge.

Sitting up straight so quickly on the bed made you slightly light headed, but you quickly focused instead on trying to hear her thoughts. If Madison was still in her apartment or atleast in close proximity, you would be able to hear her thoughts.. and you did. You didn’t bother listening to exactly what they were, you just heard them - like a slight buzzing or humming noise.. like a swarm of insects almost. You got out of the bed and decided to check the kitchen first, the door to the master bathroom was empty and obvisouly vacated.

The smell of coffee started to grow stronger as you approached the kitchen. The wooden floors nearly stung your feet with how cold they are - as you were barefoot. In fact, the only garments you happened to be wearing was a pair of tight fitting black boxers.

Then when you turned the corner into the kitchen you saw her. You smirked, she was nearly naked. She wore ‘clothes’ (if you could even call them that) that matched yours. She sported only a tight black bra and matching black underwear, with a white sheer robe that was thrown over that was very loosely and lazily tied around the waist - a pathetic attempt in your opionion to remain modest. I mean after all, you did have neighbors. Madison lived in the city in a apartment with so many windows you even bother to count them all.

She didn’t even notice you when you came into the kitchen. She close to the sink, looking over the city through one of the big windows with a mug in hand. Moodily sipping.

That was when you started to notice that something was off. Off with Madison. Something was wrong, very, very wrong. Madison was never the type to get up at 8 or 9 in the morning and make coffee and then - do whatever the hell she was doing now. Drinking coffee and looking at the view? Who was this? It certainly wasn’t the Madison you grew to know and love.

As of late, She always slept in until 11 or noon, and then she would try her best to convince you to stay in bed with her all day and take care of her.. And you had no problem doing so - in fact you were the one who insisted on watching her since you felt so guilty. It was your fault she got hurt in the first place. It was just.. very unsettling to see her like this.

You slowly approached her silently until you were just a couple steps behind her. You even stopped breathing to avoid making your presence known.

“Darling”?

You spoke. Your voice cut into the crisp morning air like a knife. Madison jumped nearly a foot, letting go of the coffee cup but mere seconds before it hit the ground - you were able to catch it with your magic and put it safely on the kitchen island counter. Thank god for your cat like reflexes your father graced you with. The coffee was defintly spilled on the floor though.. Dammit.

Madison whipped around,

“Fucking shit Micheal”.

Her arms folded over her chest. Her eyes looked tired, they were rimmed with dark circles and there was residue from mascara under her eyes. You wonder if she got any sleep last night at all... you thought she got sleep last night since you slept next to her but perhaps not. The expression on her face was more than just being tired though. Her face held some other expression that you couldn’t exactly put your finger on.

“what are you doing up this early? Are you okay”?

You asked. You were expecting some kind of sarcastic rebuttal, or atleast for her to roll her eyes but she did neither of those things. Instead she briefly looked at her nails, licked her lips and tried to not meet your gaze. She was nervous, that was easy to tell. You were about to open your mouth again to try and pursuade her to communicate with you but she beat you to it this time.

“Ever since.. that situation happened, I’ve been having nightmares Micheal. Horrible nightmares, and if it’s not nightmares than it’s insomnia but you haven’t even noticed have you? You’ve been so fucking distant lately-“!

You felt as if a rug was pulled out from under you. Feelings of anger and confusion started to rise within you and it was starting to get hard to control yourself. You’ve always had zero patience when it came to other people blaming you or getting upset with you.

“What are you talking about? You’ve been my number one priority Madison. I put the cooperative on hold once again, and now for the second time the end times are being put off for you-“

You started but Madison cut you off, she was now nearly screaming. Her voice rang throughout the apartment - shrill and sharp.

“No Micheal! I have never been your priority. Do you really want me to start listing people who are a bigger priority to you than me? Because it’s nearly fucking everyone”.

The anger you felt, first in your chest and now starting to spread throughout your body was getting harder and harder for you to control. You knew that you didn’t want to hurt Madison, but it was starting to become difficult to really convince yourself of that. You could feel your shoulders and your jaw tense up, your hands were clenched into tight fists as your teeth gritted together. When you spoke it came out as a hiss.

“Madison. Everything I’m doing is for you, it’s for us. The whole point of trying to end the fucking world is so that we can live a better life without having to deal with all of this bullshit. The fact that you can’t recognize that is fucking alarming, to say the least”.

You swallowed and crossed your arms, and tried to shake out the tension you felt by rolling your shoulders back. Madison sighed and frowned. She walked closer to you and put her hand on your shoulder.

That was another thing you loved about Madison. She wasn’t scared of you. You knew that was the only reason why Jeff and Mutt, and most others, listened and obeyed your every command. It was more than just respect, they feared you. You knew within a split second you could obliterate their soul - like they never exsisted. Madison knew this and yet she didn’t cower. She wasn’t afraid to tell you no, it made her unique. It made her stand out.

“I know that, Hun. It’s just.. that’s not it. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here”.

She said and she paused and stared at you. Her eyes narrowed, she seemed deep in thought - as if she was trying to find the right words to say. Easily you could read her mind and just find out what she was trying to say but out of respect for her and this situation, you chose not too.

“Micheal.. Ever since.. you switched you’ve been different. Your close with me physically but your distant. You’ve been depressed and I think we both know how to solve this problem, we just don’t like the answer”.

The anger you felt washed away once you heard those words. It was replaced with fear, worry and abondenment. That one thing you fucking feared the most, probably more than death or even disappointing your father - being abondend again. You couldn’t take it - you couldn’t. Tears started to prick at your eyes and you hated yourself for it. You hated being weak. You could feel yourself shaking ever so slightly, and Madison having her hand on your shoulder still, felt you shaking.

She brought you in for a hug, her skin was cold but it was still a comforting gesture. You felt her lips softly kiss your cheek and then she whispered into your ear,

“This isn’t goodbye, I would never do that to you. I would never leave you Micheal”.

She parted from your hug just so she could make eye contact as she spoke. You felt a stab in your heart as you saw her eyes were wet, she was crying. Something that was extremly uncharacteristic of her.

“But we need to take a step back. At least for now because you need to figure this thing out with her. I can’t stand to see you so distant and depressed Micheal, you need to see her and atleast try to have some kind of relationship with her. Whether that’s friendship or dating, that’s up to you but you need to try. I’ll always be here for you”.

You felt yourself start to breath faster and faster as you shook your head, in total disbelief. There was no way what she was saying was real, there had to be some other way.

“No. No, There has to be some other way Madison. I have a new plan to try to kill her, we don’t have to use magic”.

You pleaded, your voice sounded strange from you being upset. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand as you sniffled. If it was anyone else other than Madison (or perhaps Ms. Mead) you would have killed them on the spot for allowing them to see you cry. No one saw you cry. Execpt Madison.

Madison shook her head at your response.

“Micheal, we both know that’s not a option and that’s not going to work. The fucking bitch can seem to block your powers, I’m sure she would find some way to defy death even if you did choke her out”.

She grabbed a pack of ciggerates from the island counter and took a ciggerate, and with the wave of her hand lit it. She took a hit and slowly exhaled and then continued talking,

“Trust me, I want that cunt dead just as much as you do but.. I also know you Micheal. And I want you to be happy and as much as I’ll be jealous, she’s what you need right now”.

As soon as you felt a tear slip onto your cheek, you moved in to kiss her. Hard. Of course you took the ciggerate away from her first though. You put both of your hands on the side of her face as you first felt her freeze, then quickly melt into the kiss as she swiftly crossed her hands over the back of your neck.

Your intentions were to give her one last good kiss but this was quickly turning into more. One kiss turned into two and before you knew it you full blown making out. Tongue and everything. The kiss was sloppy and full of emotion, too much emotion than you liked. You pulled away, partially to get a breath and partially to talk to her. You moved your hands from her face but her hands still lingered on you, not letting you go.

“Madison I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care if she’s my soulmate. I want you, your all I need”.

You pleaded. Your swollen lips made it difficult to talk.

“Less talking, more kissing”.

Madison growled, and pulled you in for another kiss. You lifted her up by grabbing the back of her legs and having her jump so that you could put her on top of the kitchen island. She scooter back so that she could lay down and pulled you on top of her. you heard the coffee cup you placed ealier on the island hit the ground and shatter but you didn’t care. The ciggerates along with many other belongings were also now on the floor as well but lust was now starting to consume you and cloud your judgement to the point where you just didn’t fucking care. The only thing you cared about was making Madison the happiest woman in the world, currently.

~

After seeing Jeff and Mutt and letting them know all future cooperative meetings would be done via zoom, you returned back to your penthouse. You thought briefly about going back to Madison’s apartment to get your things but if what she said was true then you would be able to get your stuff back anytime.. At least you hoped. You tried to not think too much about that.

But right now you sat in your home that was currently lit by candles - you were prepping to talk with your father to hopefully get some insight about this situation.

You had your laptop in front of you that you just booked a one way flight to Lousiana with that would be leaving tonight. Here goes nothing.

Taglist: @mindlesschicca

#imminient annihilation sounds so dope #michael x reader #my fic #my works #michael langdon x reader #ahs

[crowshira]

1-47? Or whatever questions you like?

Y’know, I got time.

I’m good with doing all of them, so bet. >:)

leggo!!

1) Do you want a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?

I have a datemate already, lol (i wuvva them so much uwu).

2) When did your last hug take place?

Uh. Probably today lol. Then again, the last hug I did was when I hugged a cat this morning, so,,, yep lol

3) Are you a jealous person?

When it comes to physical possessions, no. When it comes to my significant other…. Yea…

4) Are you tired right now?

Am I ever not tired lmao

5) Do you chew on your straws?

Oh >.> Yeah actually lol. Better than grinding my teeth because I’m bored tho

6) Have you ever been called a tease?

...no :v

nods

moving on

7) Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Yep! My record for longest time w/o sleep is almost 4 days!!

8) Do you cry easily?

No, and sometimes I wish that wasn’t the case :P

9) What should you be doing right now?

I have no clue lol

10) Are you a heavy sleeper?

Yea… I have like- 9 alarms and have managed to sleep through them all some days

11) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

It depends on who I’m with and how they are. My current relationship has been going almost 9 months and counting tho ^^

12) Are you mad at someone right now?

Not mad exactly, but there are a few people I dislike pfft

Otherwise, im oki

13) Do you believe in love?

Yep .3.

14) What makes you laugh no matter what?

The dumb talks I have with my friends sometimes pff

15) Who was the last person you talked to?

Mi father :vv

16) Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Actually << no :v when im with them, thats tbh when i feel very very comfortable

17) Will you get married?

tbh i rly hope to wif mi s/o >>

18) When was the last time you smiled?

and i noticed? maybe last night uwu

19) Does anyone like you?

you can say that .3. err well, i hope so LOL

20) Do you secretly like someone?

i dun needa secretly like someone cuz i already have someone to publicly like :v

21) Who was the first person you talked to today?

mi s/o uwu we woke up on a facetime

22) Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

whaaaaaaaale, mi s/o, mi friends, yknow

23) What are you NOT looking forward to?

...college, but not because of the work or difficulty

24) What ARE you looking forward to?

Transferring from my community college to my college of choice in two years :vv

25) Has someone ever told you they loved you and meant it?

yep lol

26) Suppose you see your ex kissing another person. What would you do?

welllll, if it were mi current s/o, probably cry and die on the inside but accept that thats how it is sometimes x.x

27) Do you plan on moving out in the next year?

i have no clue lol. its kinda useless to dorm at my community college since i live p close

28) Are you a forgiving person?

for the most part, yea lol ive given people hella chances before

29) How many TRUE friends do you have?

im gonna say,,, 5?? 6??? i’unno

30) Do you fall for people easily?

Not easily, maybe,,, moderately??

31) Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

wh- ._. no wth

32) What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

MY DI- i mean, m&ms

33) Who was the last person you drove with?

mi father :v

34) How late did you stay up last night and why?

Slept at 2:45am-ish because was watching movies and facetiming wif mi s/o uwu

35) If you could move somewhere else, would you?

oh- thats- thats tough. maybe??

36) Who was the last person you took a picture of?

...me

lol

37) Can you live a day without TV?

dude i barely watch TV anymore lol

38) When was the last time you were really disappointed?

A few days ago LOL

39) Three names you go by?

Tristan, Tris, Trist

40) Are you currently in a relationship?

yep ^^ 9 months and counting yo

41) What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

...five feet apart was good

but ah-

idk thats the only romance film i can remember

42) Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?

I actually believe people can have multiple soulmates

for one, theres poly relationships

and two, just- people have soulmates that help them grow and change as a person permanently imo

43) What’s your current problem?

uhm. anxiety mostly.

44) Have you ever had your heart broken?

y e s. that shit hurt LOL

45) Your thoughts on long distance relationships?

I may be in one for the next two years. All I can say is : they can work out if all parties are willing to dedicate themselves and be true to each other.

46) Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

dude heck yea

the only serious relationship ive ever been in (this one), my s/o was the one that confessed first LOL so- yea

im too shy .///.

and thats all of it!! pff

[queencryo]

Journal 3

now with readmore

Journal 3

So! After typing up the last blog post, it was like… 6 am, or some shit like that. And so I finally went to sleep, very very very tired.

Silly and I had planned for me to have the buffalo chicken dip ready before she got home form work, but I… fucked that up, and slept until like 630 pm. She didn’t seem to be upset by it, but I kind of was so. Anyway!

I started on the dip, and she came home, I welcomed her (I love welcoming her home. It makes me look forward to being here long-term). Dip didn’t get started in the crockpot until like 730, 8 (I had to heat freezer chicken so it was cuttable and not frozen, I used the stove) (normally I use regular raw chicken, but I got nervous while shopping with silly’s mom so I like. Just got freezer chicken.) It turned out pretty well actually! The freezer chicken tasted very good on its own, and I’m just now realizing that after a couple days in the fridge the chicken starts breaking down in the dip anyway (I didn’t realize this until silly pointed it out, cuz I’m a [not stupid, but I don’t pay very much attention to things around me])

On that note, me and silly have started, like. Trying to be mean to ourselves less. It started cuz she. Is very mean to herself, but I then realized I still am too, so we’re! trying to do that less. It’s neat I guess. I like it. Kindness is good.

Don’t remember what was eaten for dinner that night. Something? Went upstairs to watch something while the dip cooked.

The dip was good! Silly says it was good, and that makes me very very happy. I added like. A good amount of buffalo sauce after it was done cooking, cuz it still needed some more kick. Ya know? Some  kick? (I’m typing this on my laptop so I’m like. Kind of zoning out while I’m typing it. Dw about it)

Around then I realized that silly might have problems eating that as a meal bc chips are carbs are sugar, so… bleh. Still, *I’ll* eat it as meals, nyeh. I think I’ll ocntinue using raw chicken for the dip at home, it’s nice to have the leftovers from it to put into spaghetti. Chicken spaghetti.

That night I resolved to just not sleep and stay up and eat breakfast with silly before she went to work, because that seemed very fun and nice ya know? Watched a lot of adventure time, I think I’m up to like. Season 5 now (the long one)

But… around an hour before she was scheduled to wake p I was like “oh well I mean it’ll be fine if I just… sleep for an hour and wake up with her…”

Long story short I slept until about 530 pm, and was startled to wake to an empty bed. Apparently I sleepily said I loved her before she left, though, so I guess that’s not a total loss.

So! Later that night, silly comes home all excited, and like. “Hey we should buy an xbox one”

And you know I am nothing if not someone who is willing to make very expensive decisions for like no reason. So long story short we go to gamestop, and make a delightful purchase of Halo: master chief collection, two controllers, Mass Effect: Andromeda, and NO t-shirts that say gamer girl >>>:(

Ate a place in town that is apparently The Local Wing Place. I got. Mild wings, which honestly were barely even hot. I guess I shoulda heeded the menu bit that said the mild was mostly butter. A fool am I. The fried pickles were spears not slices so they were like! Still good, EXTREMELY hot but still good.

Came home, set up the xbox. Halo requires downloading of all the games (because of course). It’s like. 70 GB, but we reduce this by setting Halo 3 to higher priority and disabling Halo 4.

Playing 3 with silly was very fun. She’s way way better at it than me, mostly bc she is smart and stays back whereas I, dumbo raised on normal difficulty that I am, rush in and die quickly in heroic.

She spent like. An hour and a half or something updating her old xbox account. Her new xbox avatar looks way better, and is extremely cool (like her). She says it feels really nice updating all of that to her new self. I can understand the feeling: ridding the wolrd of another footprint of a you that’s a lie is. Very nice, I think.

So we played more halo! No highlights, I think, but it was really nice. And fun. I’m a girl and I’m gay now and I love jesus, but I still love halo C:

I ALSO brought fable 2 along, and played it while silly slept. Gotdamn I fucking love fable 2. Silly says I’m cute when I’m really excited about something. I was REALLY excited about fable 2. I think this is the first time I’ve ever done a run that’s (hopefully) gonna be mostly strength, and possibly I’m gonna use a hammer, where before I always ALWAYS used a katana. But. I just unlocked third level shock (oo) and a very pretty steel cleaver (ooo), so… ….. hopin’ I’ll be a good bastard.

Next day. Went with silly to work, as it was Friday and Time For The Magic Commander (Commeownder, in the local parlance). I only played commander a little bit, though, before silly called me over “hey do you wanna join the draft so that there are 5 rounds and everyone suffers” (my words not hers), and of course yes, that sounds so fun.

So! What draft is is each table (of I think eight people?) opens a pack of cards for each person there. You pick out the card you want from that pack, and pass it on to the next person. Then pick a card from the new pack, then the next, then so on and on. It was very fun, and I fell kinda quickly into running a Golgari (green and black) deck, which went well for me I think? (Also I just. Like golgari. They’re cool, and not annoying like blue). I had a lot of undergrowth effects, which depended on how many creatures I had in my graveyard. MEANING, that I had a lot of creatures in my deck, and enough land to keep them flowing. So, at one point, I had a, I think, 13/13 or 16/16 (idr) Rhizome lurker (gains +1/1 for each creature in graveyard), so that was… cool? Neat?

I won my first match of the draft, largely due to my opponent offering me a lot of tips cuz I was new (the boyfriend (boyfriend, right? They’re not married?) of the person silly had an encounter with a couple months ago. I think that was before we were dating. But that guy was my first opponent, and it went well?) largely due to his help, I won te first game of the match, then the second game timed out.

Second match was against F, who everyone silly knows apparently has a crush on (I also have a crush on them (they/them)), they were very very sweet and I enjoyed my game with them a lot even though they kicked the love of god out of my ass. But they also like. Told jokes during it, so whatevs. (turns out a deck of flyers will kick a goglari deck with no reach/flying in the ass.) they also helped me edit my deck, so that was very very kind of them, and I very much appreciate it.

Uh… other highlights… uh, I played silly’s ex (they dated for like. I think a month? But still. He’s not nearly as big as silly described him), and apparently hurt his feelings because I am a. very very mean and abrasive person if you take the things I say seriously. I. feel bad about that. And I spent the rest of the night noting to please not take the things I said seriously. I ended the night with 1 win, 1 draw, 3 losses, but that’s? very very much better than I expected, tbh. I guess using a deck I actually had a hand in the creation of helps a lottttt. So that’s cool! Silly said my deck was good, but that as after F edited it, so idk if it counts?

Silly says she’s glad I actually enjoy magic and I’m not just humoring her. I do very much enjoy it! I don’t think I want to get to the level she is at (due to cost, if nothing else), it at the very least will be added to my long list of “things I have or had an interest in, that I have a dabbling or casual knowledge of that is beyond the average person by a degree ranging from slight to significant, but still pales in comparison to the knowledge of an actual practitioner”.  … this list is much much longer than the list of things I actually know things about. ;;

Spent like 30 minutes after the draft talking with silly and two regulars. I was annoying and unkind, and felt very unhappy with myself following. I also had to actually leave the store after it closed, since that’s like. The Rules. Silence and isolation (waiting in the car) are not conducive to recovery from self hatred, so that festered a little bit. I was fine eventually, though. Uh… yeah! Had to make a mark in my calendar.

Tried to stay up and play fable, but ended up falling asleep like 10 minutes after silly (I am a fucking scourge and I fail regularly to sleep at the same time as her. I am a Night Bitch)

Oh, also I was unmedicated for the entirety of the draft night, so that’de, like… that’s why I was so fucking annoying all day. That just kinda happens when I’m off it long enough, I guess.

I don’t remember more from that night, so let’s move on.

Got up w silly the next day, ate cereal, went up to the store. Woo!

Sat down with silly’s ex, some other dude. Started reading the book gf gave me about Learning Magic Good And Shit, it was actually real neat and cool! Apparently that’s what he wanted for Christmas, so it was. Slightly awkward!

I read that for a while, then joined in on a magic game. Players: one of the regulars talked to last night before closing, some girl I’d never seen called E (who was very sweet, I now love her), and some dude I don’t remember at all.

We had two games, I only remember that in the second one I ran Estrid The Masked as commander, and that was a. Long Fucking Game. Partially because I had like 11 enchantments on the board at one point, and kept using Estrid and Oath Of Terezi (planeswalkers do TWO things on a turn). Uh…

Highlights:

I had “every time someone casts a spell, make them pay an extra mana or else you can draw another card”, which I then doubled with Estrid’s invocation (at least until I had too many cards to know what to do with, so I put some enchantments in the graveyard before I ulted with estrid) I ulted Estrid like 2-3 times, lmao At one point between ults, I had “all enchantments are creatures” on the field, and then E played “destroy all creatures that aren’t pirates”, so I. lost. Uh. All my motherfucking creatures, except Estrid (not a creature), and a God (had a mask). And ALL my fucking enchantments. WARB- anyway next turn I ulted estrid again and got them all back. Lmfao. at the end of the game it cost about 14 mana / creature to attack me, it was AMAZING, the guy who made fucktons of tokens couldn’t TOUCH me so anyway. I used sacred mesa, plus like 48 mana (untapping all my enchanted lands is GREAT) to create 24 pegasi, which then became 24 4/4 flying angels (Divine Visitation), which was GREAT holy DAMN

I lost in the end, got milled by regular dude for like. 55 cards in one turn.

I coulda prevented this by exiling the creatures he used to mill me, but I just… didn’t. Ever. :C because I’m a foollllllll I also could’ve prevented this by swinging angels at him at the same time I killed the other player (E left before then, I guess she had work or something), but I just. Didn’t do that, because I was scared something would happen to them? It was an eminently foolish thing to not do, especially since I could make So Fucking Many angels. Always. Jesus I could make so many angels.

Meanwhile, silly was moving a shitton of boxes for the Big Fuckhuge Sale the next day. I felt bad that I couldn’t help, but I couldn’t bc if I got injured I could sue. Fair, I guess, but doesn’t make it easier to just sit on the sidelines. At least I brought ibuprofen from home.

Said quick goodbye to regulars who were chill, and who I played my first couple of games with.

Silly got told to just. Go home when her shift ended yesterday, which was upsetting bc she’d been looking forward to playing magic like. The whole day. Not quite the same, but we did play a few games when we got home. So that was nice C:

I ate dip for dinner, silly ate chicken buffalo. She is so. SO bad at eating all the meat on the bones. She says it’s cuz gristle is gross, but like .it’s. it’s MEAT. Eat the meat. So I ate all the gristle off the end of her wings while she said I was disgusting.

We finished halo 3 last night. I felt like. Stupid and bad because I was bein a failure at it, but god that was like. Soooo stupid. Lmfao. I shouldn’t have done that!

I finally managed to log in to my Microsoft account. Apparently my fucking username was staffgripper36, and I have no goddamned clue why that is my username for that.

But I made an avatar and she’s like. Cool af and she has a sundress so I guess I can’t really complain too much, can I?

We also started ODST! It is Neat, and I really like it thus far. I can’t remember ever seeing that intro cutscene in my life, but I guess that’s cuz I was an impatient 12 year old at the time, lmfao.

Then I played fable 2 til 7 am while silly slept. I. Don’t know why I fucking did that. I did get married, though. To marion the bookshop owner. We live in the corner house of the bowerstone market, just like the one playthrough of fable wherein I remember the name of my wife to this day (Hannah the Traveller) That house is my Home, you got me?

Finally onto today! 2520 words in. If words were feet, this journal entry would be a half-mile.

Alright… it has now been more than a full week since I started this journal entry. I’m back in Texas, and I… feel bad for that. I fear how much has been lost.

So! Next morning, I get up with silly and we go to The Work Place. The Big Fucking Sale is going on. I still wished I could help more, but unfortunately that is… not a possibility…

Wandered around the store for a while. Picked up: 4000 AD, a very old-looking game that seems neat. Mostly bought it cuz it looked old and aged as shit founders of gloomhaven, a game I got cuz it reminded me of marielda Anime Chess, that’s not the real name but silly said she’d been thinking about buying it for like. A While, so I bought it because I hate her an AD&D character sheets book, that still had some old character sheets in it (fuckin score) some VERY old vampire the masquerade stuff, including what I’m guessing is probably the first book that offered playing a hunter rather than a vampire? Also the sourcebook as of like 1992. More is the same than is different, though I guess that’s also cuz I barely know modern world of darkness

Sat around and read the hunter book for like. Basically a couple hours or something? Idk. Talked a little bit with some of the regulars, T and her boyfriend.

Eventually, left and went to the ice cream store across the street, ate Goat Cheese Ice Cream Oh Boy, and started writing this journal.

I wrote school’s motto on the chalkboard there, and later heard someone say “I… don’t know what that means. Should I know what that means?

Was surprised by the entrance of Silly. Goodness me I love her so much.

We then went home and like. Chilled.

She made alfredo/lentil pasta (so she doesn’t die from carbs) and fish. I, meanwhile, attempted to make raspberry cheesecake.

I got kinda stressed by the cheesecake process, cuz I was trying to multitask but still didn’t feel like I was going fast enough. I started doing that dumb anxiety over-done stuff thing that I do sometimes.

I then proceeded to open a very-fizzed dr pepper and just kinda. Break down a lil bit. I managed to keep it together until I had the cheesecake done, at least, I’m kinda proud of myself for that!

But yeah. Then I started crying or something, I don’t fully remember. I remember I accidentally made silly cry because I am an idiot, and also I was feeling bad because I felt helpless and pathetic, and typical consolation doesn’t really help with that. I’m sorry for that, darlin.

Anyway. She’s a really good fucking cook, like she’s better than my mom and dad both. Like not to be the kinda person who overpraises ther significant, but :eyes: !!! who knew that adding spices and not cooking from a box improved things??? @mom

I don’t really remember the rest of the night, nothing interesting I suppose. We probably played halo odst or something, and cuddled.

The cheesecake was… not to my taste, personally. Silly claims to kinda like it, but personally it fell into the “this isn’t really that good at all, why do I keep wantng to eat it”, probably my favorite part was the pre-baked crust.

Yeah! Stuf like that.

We got up the next morning. Busy day!!! The next 3 days, silly had em off and we were gonna make this day fuckin WORK for us

So we went to like. The nearby game store

There was a cat! And also I bought some magic card boosters. No news. Why the fuck was there a shitton of pathfinder corebooks on the Shelf O’ Unloved Games. Rude.

Had a fun conversation at a pet store

The game store near where silly worked had some things. She got halo 5, meaning she had The Complete Collection, not that it matters cuz everything after reach sucks. But anyway. She also got an application for there! So that’s really good, yay! Woo!

The nearby hobby shop was very neat, it had a shitton of gundam stuff, and like. Model trains! Wow! Apparently model rockets don’t fuckin come with the engine or anything.g that seems a little silly to me. Also they had some 3-d printing stations, but they’re apparently out for now. Idk whassup there.

Got some jingle bells at the nearby craft store, or whatever. Ran into a coworker of silly’s. she revealed that she almost named herself Katherine, and would’ve shortened it to Cat, meaning we fucking skated THIS close to me just absolutely refusing to talk to her in that alternate timeline.

Ate at dairy queen bc I had a gift card

THRIFT STORES

I made some very VERY nice discoveries. Oh HO, how delightful… some nice mugs, that I decided not to get on account of I was already transporting 3 of the things back home. But uhhh…. I got some cute skirts I think, basically just some bottoms, from the first store. Learned that my feet are not made for thrift store women’s heels. Sob.

Thrift shop two I found some very VERY nice things, including BASEBALL MOM SHIRT, and also a shirt for a basketball team for the immaculate conception high school, or some shit. I’m so excited to reveal that one. Also some things that were actually women’s tops, that might actually fit me or some shit (spoiler, they will not once I retry them on) (lol)

I uh… THINK after that we went home? And made tacos!!!!!! Holy shit silly makes such good fucking tacos oh my god. Like. I used to hate taco night at home, cuz that meant like. Dry hamburger meat with Taco Seasoning from HEB, in a hard taco shell.

But. I have discovered the truth of mixing a bit of salsa, corn, and beans into the meat, and getting it all moist, and also applying sour cream to the tacos. God they were so good holy fuck. Holy fuck. What a goddess.

We then proceeded to, I think, finish halo odst. What absolute heroines we are. I think we also watched all of otgw. I gushed about, like. The painfully o bvious metaphors and stuff that I knew about, and silly thought I was dumb I’m sure. But she did cry at the end, bc it’s very good and also because I was crying.

Stayed up later than silly did. Cried a little bit before I went to sleep because I. love her so much. Dear fuck I love her.

Ate breakfast the next morning. Returned from showering to find that silly was shooting me with a nerf gun. The fucker. We had a nerf gun fight and I’m PRETTY sure I got the better of her, because I’m very good and also extremely cool. :3 side note but she’s so amazing and I love her so much. NOT tearing up a little bit about how I am so extremely blessed to have met her. Jesus.

But uh. After that it was time to start packing, kind of. There was a not-small amount of crying. And divvying up of stuff, since I like. Did NOT have space for all of my things. Three piles: taking with me, hopefully to have mailed back to me (seriously, I need some of that stuff please. :C ), and Giving to silly because I love her and I love giving her things.

In that last group was: my first fountain pen (idk if that one or the one leye gave me was the first one I owned. But hey. Meh.) (I’m just gonna pronounce that as Ley-yey for the rest of my life. For anyone who’s not me, though, it’s like lye). She used it to write poetry on the piece of paper I used to demonstrate how to use it, and to get the ink going, and stuff. She then folded it up to look like a heart, because she’s the biggest dork on earth and also my favorite person ever to live. She did this while she was, in her words, “picking stuff out of the downstairs laundry baskets”, which is why I walked in on her doig this. The second time a ploy like this was foiled by my walking downstairs. What a loser. And yes I cried a LOT on reading that poetry, because, just… jesus. How could I not. my tentacle skirt. Please take care of it, it’s important! Hopefully I have found suitable replacements for it… probably some other stuff? I don’t fully remember… sorry….

She gave me the shirt for the now-defunct electric company owned by the Shithead dad of her childhood friend. Holy FUCK the perfect gift for me. Wow. I love artifacts!!! (we are both magpies lmao)

Never did find that pair of compression shorts she gave me last time I was down. I hope those turn up sometime, they were super handy.

Uh… so yeah. We packed up. Got most of my stuff sorted out, and figured out an outfit for the next day. I think here was where we watched otgw, actually. But yeah! Uh…

I don’t really remember much more, except hugging each other and crying. And remembering that soon I would be apart from her and feeling a deep, yawning sense of loss. And a longing to graduate so I can join her up north.

I tried to go to sleep with her, but I failed. I ended up closing my eyes for a little while, then stealing the 8.5x11 boarding pass I printed and gave to her (we each got one of the boarding passes, and one of the like. Ticket printed things? Of when I went up there. Even), and wrote her a letter on it with my/her fountain pen. I don’t remember much of what it said, beyond that I loved her in a way I never thought possible.

Went to the airport. Cried a little bit on the way there. Focused more on keeping intact for both of our sakes, since we were going on the Frightening route to the airport. I started to break down as I started getting close, thugh. Cried into her arms a little more as I got out of the car and left her behind for another few months. God,  Ihate it so much.

Writing these journals this far after the fact is bad both because I don’t remember as much, and also because I start missing her all over again. :C:C:C:C:C

But uh… yeah,  Ithink that’s it. Became emotionally dead as I went through the airport. Had to rush to make my first flight. Cuz… wanted to spend as much time as possible with my beautiful girlfriend before we had to go to the accursed birds’ nest. The TSA saw me as a girl. That was cool, but then they patted me down real fuckin thoroughly. Ate a biscuit after getting through. Basically slept through the rest of the thing.

Only started crying again once I got home.

Alright. We’re done here I think. I know I forgot a lot and that *hurts* me, but it’ll be alright. Honk.

These journals will likely get less detailed as time goes on. But as their number is yet small I think it’s okay.

#blog #ohio trip 2

[toastingtotheghosts]

1-100

lol i’m doing this instead of homework

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

no

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

nope

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

KITTYYYYYYY

4: what’s something you really want right now?

a hug tbh

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

very much so

6: do you like the beach?

depends on my mood

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

no

8: what’s the background on your cell?

a pic of pete wentz with his flaming bass i took at the concert

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

mine, my friend’s, my mom’s, a hotel’s

10: do you like your phone?

yes

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

basically the opposite tbh

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

a kid i’m friends with named eddie earlier this afternoon

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

rottweiler

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

zooooo

16: are you tired?

yes

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

this first one i got? my mom, my whole life

18: are they a relative?

yup

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

i have none. in the case of the guy i almost dated, hell no. he’s a fucking douche.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

never kissed anyone

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

nopeee

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

never kissed anyone

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

2 rubber bands

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

be yourself, don’t take anything from anyone, and never let them take you alive. - gerard way.  i also really like breathe. remember, it’s just chemicals. - alex gaskarth

25: what’s on your mind?

how much homework i have

26: do you have any tattoos?

i wish

27: what is your favorite color?

black, red, or purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

idk

29: who are you texting?

group chat with my camp friends

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

n/a

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

so many times

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

yup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

idk if douche boy still does

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

so many people. it’s the only physical thing i like about myself - they’re yellow and pretty cool

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

never kissed anyone

36: were you single on valentines day?

yes

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

n/a

38: what do your friends call you?

edgelord, salt

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

yes

40: have you ever cried over a text?

............yeah

41: where’s your last bruise located?

my eyebrow

42: what is it from?

long story short i punched myself in the face

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

lol yesterday 

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

a friend of mine because i didn’t know where he was but we were meeting up somewhere

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yes

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

i’m not allowed to wear hats

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

no

48: do you make supper for your family?

not really

49: does your bedroom have a door?

despite my dad threatening to remove it, yes

50: top 3 web-pages?

ao3, tumblr, genius

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

yes

52: does anything on your body hurt?

yes

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

yes. one of my friends is moving to australia in december and i’m going to be a fucking mess

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

some diet pepsi earlier today

55: how is your hair?

too long

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

put on music

57: do you think two people can last forever?

yes

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

i was two so yes

59: green or purple grapes?

purple. i have a weird hatred for green grapes

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

probably when my friend moves away

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

yes

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

probably later tonight

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

in bed on tumblr

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

in homeroom

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

yes

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sometimes

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

i wish

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

“i hate this”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

basically my whole life lmao

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

i think 18

71: how many fingers do you have?

10

72: what is your ringtone?

normal iphone one

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

14

74: where is your mum right now?

downstairs

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

because he was way out of my league

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

no

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

some of them

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

ohhhh yeah

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

i know i few michaels

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

i think i’ve fallen asleep on people at camp before

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

one

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

no

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

probably @frankenfurter819

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

depends on how hard the drug. weed or something? not too much. anthting more? yeah

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

i almost cried during infinity war

87: who was your last received call from?

a friend

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

if it’s already dead, then yes

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

seratonin

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

again, the story of my life

91: do you sleep with your window open?

no

92: do you get along with girls?

not as much as guys because i’m not very feminine and a lot of the girls at my school are super cliquey

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

so many people

94: does sex mean love?

no

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

n/a

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

n/a

97: did you sleep alone this week?

yes

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

i want to

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

i....don’t know

[meepface]

1-100!

oof, thank you lmfao

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

there’s a boy in my life which is crazy to me bc i was starting to think i could only feel this way about girls. i am bi though, that is very much so confirmed

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

i can think of two people right now honestly and i forgive them both. i learned from them and i grew from those experiences and i hope they do as well. i wish nothing but the best for them

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

my best friend got a new cat and she’s SO SMALL and she likes me a lot and cats don’t usually like me so it’s great

4: what’s something you really want right now?

to hang out with my boy but i’m doing that tonight! also i would really love to go to Iceland

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

oh absolutely terrified, yes, but it’s a growing experience every time and i think it’s always worth it whether they end up being the one or not

6: do you like the beach?

not really at all honestly

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

yes

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my lock screen is my dog Sophie and my home screen is just some pine trees

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

my own, my brother’s, my boyfriend’s and my best friend’s

10: do you like your phone?

i honestly wish i didn’t have a phone a lot of times lmao i hate texting people and i hate social media and i hate being subconsciously addicted to it. i’m definitely trying to work on using it less

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

not at all but they’re going pretty fucking great so i’m not complaining

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

a new coworker of mine

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

both i love dogs

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

both ??

16: are you tired?

a little bit, i just woke up and i definitely wanted to sleep in a little later than 10:30 but my body will not go back to sleep

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

lmaooo since middle school, he was actually my first “boyfriend” if you even count the like 4 days we dated

18: are they a relative?

not at all, just some crusty boy i don’t even talk to anymore. last i heard he moved and is trying to be a monk which is strange considering the person he is

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

i would not

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

he texted me this morning but the last time we spoke was like over the phone two days ago. he’s been busy moving and shit and so we haven’t gotten to see each other for a lil bit but i see him today so it’s all good

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

not today, i’d definitely still wait and if they’re the right person i’m sure they’d wait too

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

oh my god absolutely, i’m gonna kiss him so much tonight

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

none, i don’t really care for bracelets

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

there’s a few! “let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier,” “if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely,” and “be kinder and gentler.”

25: what’s on your mind?

i’m kind of hungry and i definitely smell pancakes in the other room but other than that i’m super nervous to hang out with my boyfriend’s friends for the first time today bc i want them to like me lmao

26: do you have any tattoos?

i have three, a sun and moon on my wrists and “lovely” on my inner arm

27: what is your favorite color?

cerulean

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

toniiiiight

29: who are you texting?

my friend Stein, my friend Joe and i was texting my boyfriend but i think he fell back asleep

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

yes lmao all the time

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yes

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

yes my good pal Joe and also my friend Brendon and also my friend Cory and also my friend Derryck and also my boyfriend but he’s more than just a friend so i don’t think that counts

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i would hope my boyfriend does

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

i get that fairly often actually bc my eyeballs are fucking massive and bright green and it makes me happy when people say that bc i used to hate em

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

i would be really really really disappointed and upset bc he knows how difficult its been for me lately and he knows i’ve been cheated on before and he’s been so fucking good to me so it would be a huge knock down to my ability to trust anyone. i’d honestly just break up with him quickly and as kindly as i could and just not talk to him again. i definitely think it would be harder to trust afterwards and i’d be heartbroken but luckily we wouldn’t have been together long enough for it to fuck me up too bad yet. BUT, he’s literally an angel and i can’t see him ever doing this to me so this is all hypothetical

36: were you single on valentines day?

no i was not

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

we’re dating

38: what do your friends call you?

my name

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

i think my parents at one point but it’s all good, i’ve clearly already forgotten and moved on

40: have you ever cried over a text?

plenty of times

41: where’s your last bruise located?

i have a random ass bruise on my knee and i have no idea what that’s about

42: what is it from?

no clue

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

oh all the time lately, it’s hard to be at home right now. but i also just want to be out of state for a while

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my best friend called me to tell me how her date went

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yeah i have these bright white pumas that i loooove they look so cool and they’re so comfy

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

yep, i look good in snapbacks and dad hats so it works out

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

no i don’t have the face shape to pull that off

48: do you make supper for your family?

i would but i’m so bad at cooking that i don’t think they would want that

49: does your bedroom have a door?

yes

50: top 3 web-pages?

youtube, netflix and then my school’s login page apparently

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

my mom does

52: does anything on your body hurt?

my stomach is a little upset but it’s not too terrible

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

depends on who i’m saying goodbye to

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

coffee

55: how is your hair?

messy and in a bun bc i just woke up lmao

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

lay in bed for like an hour and text people back and briefly social media bullshit, then i usually immediately shower once i get up

57: do you think two people can last forever?

i don’t know but i hope so

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

yes

59: green or purple grapes?

purple but i like em both

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

when i see my boyfriend today, he’s been pretty stressed and he definitely needs a hug

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

i’d say with my boyfriend but i’m pretty fuckin comfy in my bed right now so i mean, he can come join me here instead

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

whenever someone texts me back 

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

a music festival

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

sleeping

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

yes i was dating her

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

yes

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

not yet but i will

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i have no idea, i was probably just nervous about today

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yes

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

just this one

71: how many fingers do you have?

10 lmfao???

72: what is your ringtone?

idk whatever the apple default one is

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

still 21

74: where is your mum right now?

she’s in the kitchen making pancakes which i’m about to go hit up

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

we just didn’t work out

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

yes, three days ago though bc we’ve both been busy

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

some of them yes but i cut off a few of em for the better

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

definitely my friend Brendon, we didn’t work out bc we were both queer as fuck but he’s still one of my best friends to this day. i also had a huge crush on this girl that i don’t really talk to anymore bc she definitely gives off that whole “i’m better than you” kind of vibe

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

yes

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

yep & i get to tonight !! my bf is so cuddly when he’s sleepy

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

five LMAO but i only tried things out w three of em bc i knew the other two wouldn’t work out. ended up with the one i liked the most to begin with so everything worked out in the longrun

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

my boyfriend lol

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

yep a whole bunch i’m so excited

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

oof, i don’t think i’d yell at em but i guess my friend Monica, that’s some shit she’d drag me into doing lmfao

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

he is to an extent and it doesn’t bother me as long as he’s safe. i barely consider weed a drug anyway

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

my bf and i fucked in my car at 3 AM afterwards LMAO

87: who was your last received call from?

my dad

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i think i would initially agree bc i need that money but i don’t think i’d have the heart when it came down to it

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money would be nice bc i’m tryna move out

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yes

91: do you sleep with your window open?

nah there’s mosquitos outside

92: do you get along with girls?

yes!!!!! i love girls

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no, i don’t really see much of a point in doing that

94: does sex mean love?

not necessarily but loveless sex isn’t as good

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

not at all

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

no

97: did you sleep alone this week?

yeah except for on monday night and i don’t have to sleep alone tonight either so it’s all g

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

nah but i believe in infatuation at first sight sure, i believe you can have a feeling about someone at first sight, like you can tell if they’ll be in your life or not kind of thing

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

i think my best friend

#thank you for the distraction! #like if ya read #long post #about me

[89xhshb]

All the questions!!!

Oh wow…There we go!

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

I LOVE YOU TOO WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?? 

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

Answered :(3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

Somehow true. You never know how much one person means to you until you lose them. 4: Do you have siblings?

Yep gotta a pain in the ass sister. 5: How many kids do you want?

Answered :(6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Taemin.7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Unless Taemin is up on a chair or a table?? no??

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

He better be playing Rihanna at my funeral or I will come back to deal with him!9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My mom. 10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

Yeah..his cat?11: When’s your birthday?

September 3. Mark the date. Bring me glam presents. Mwah12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

First is probs when I was like 5? 6? I smooched this girl and thought I was total badass. Last person would be Taemin? Couple of minutes ago? 13: What kind of phone do you have?

Iphone 7 :)14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Now? Jeans. I usually go by sweatpants when at home and I sleep in my boxers. 15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

Definitely. I grew up a lot from who I was 5 years ago. 16: What were you doing at 4 am?

Sleeping with Taemin on a couch probs17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

WRITE THE PAPER. I am not to be trusted with a speech. Unless it’s a stand up comedy one. 18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Definitely. Do I need to say what is it?? I am confused by this question :(19: Last night you felt…?

Happy and relaxed. 20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

Answered :(21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

Duh I still tell my mom I go grocery shopping then order pizza lmao22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Like 4?23: Are you a morning or night person?

Morning person 24: What did you get your last bruise from?

probs Hyuna hit me. 25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

I  try to. 26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

Pick up?? What is this question??27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

CUBE ENT. Ha. Ha. Ha.29: How many months until your birthday?

Two /wiggles brows.30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

I just hate peanut butter :(31: Did you like this past summer?

This summer?? So far?? Yes??32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

Eating.33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Congratulate her on the nice catch. Tell him that she snores and likes guys who spoon for her. 34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

Fuck? Damn? Most probably Fuck. 35: Your mood summed into one word?

Amused.

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

Working.37: What are your initials?

HS /JS38: Are you a happy person?

Some days.39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Not really. 40: Where do you want to live when your older?

New York41: Have you had your birthday this year?

No so all mark the 3rd of September42: What did you do yesterday?

I cleaned my apartment and did some grocery shopping 43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

Sleeping? Hopefully. I also promised Taemin we will go clubbing together and I cannot wait.44: How late did you stay up last night?

Not late since I was tired. 11pm or something?45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

My mom and my sister.46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

Not if you have a great sense of humour.47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

Duh I cannot be a hypocrite now since one of my exs is my best friend can I??48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

I don’t think so. 49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

Whoa…That is like two centuries ago…I would say 1.50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

Not at all. 51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

DUH. 52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

Ahh man I actually don’t know? Depends. Tending not to because cheating is such an useless thing in my opinion. If you are in a relationship you can fall out of love and you can hit it on with someone else but that’s why break ups were invented. 53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

It was a hell of a party!54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

I am. 55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

Ask my mom who almost lost her mind when I showed her my revolver tattoo. She liked the birthdays and had no probs with the small triangle but the revolver was too much (as she would say lmao)56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

SIDE.57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

NEW YORK58: What would you change about your life right now?

My career.59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Work.60: Are you on the phone?

Not just now.61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

I only go forward. 62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

The moneyy63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

Yes.64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

Yes.65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

YEs66: Are you the type of person who liks to be out or at home?

TOUGH QUESTION. Both?? Depends on the day. 67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

Yes..68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

Yes.69: Could you use some sleep right now?

HELL YES.70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Long past that age lmao.71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Hmmm depends?? If it’s something major then yes. 72: What’s your favorite color?

Blue. 73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Duh74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

My phone. ALL THE TIME.75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Not really?? But when I am in a bad mood I do tend to get really angry at small things.76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

I guess that is their decision?? I know that I would tell someone if I liked them straight up.77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

@nvpch78: Does anyone call you babe?

@taemn93 79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

besides my mom and my sister, 2.

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

I used to be the one night stand guy and the relationship kind of guy and for me relationships just seem more stable. I am also biased since the relationship I have at the moment is the best so far. 81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Army Green82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

my dad. 

#r; #periwinkle #thanks for sending me stuff #I may be slow #but I am pretty #naexson

[pansexuanarchy]

Answer them all!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life? Yes and no2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Yeah I do3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” I think of cat???4: what’s something you really want right now? Constant stream of attention5: are you afraid of falling in love? Terrified6: do you like the beach? Eh its alright7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes8: what’s the background on your cell? A picture of a guys head opening up and it says "never stop learning"9: name the last four beds you sat on? My bed, my dads bed, my moms bed, my friends bed10: do you like your phone? Its cool11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? Not exactly but that's life12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? A coworker 13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? Rottweiler14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional pain 😢15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Museummm16: are you tired? Constantly 17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? Probably forever 18: are they a relative? Yeh19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Yes 20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? Not sure if youd count it but I guess this morning21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Yeah I would22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? A million times 23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? 2 if u count my watch 24: is there a certain quote you live by? You do what u gotta do25: what’s on your mind? How adult life is so fucking shitty and I have to be ok with it26: do you have any tattoos? I have 327: what is your favorite color? Purple28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Who knows...29: who are you texting? My frandsss30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yeah31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? My anxiety is bound to be right at some point 32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yeah lmao 34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Kinda often tbh35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? I would probably have a mental breakdown tbh36: were you single on valentines day? Nope37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? I like to think so but idk by the way shes been acting 38: what do your friends call you? Jay39: has anyone upset you in the last week? Not in particular 40: have you ever cried over a text? Yes41: where’s your last bruise located? My ass42: what is it from? Bug bites 🙄43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? This summer 44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? My best friend45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I guess my docs??? But I dont wear them much in the summer 46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? I wear hats all the time47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? No48: do you make supper for your family? Sometimes49: does your bedroom have a door? No50: top 3 web-pages? Tumblr Facebook and Instagram51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? Meeee52: does anything on your body hurt? Everything always 53: are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on the person 54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Coffee55: how is your hair? Long and luscious 56: what do you usually do first in the morning? Take a shower 57: do you think two people can last forever? I guess its possible58: think back to january 2007, were you single? I was 759: green or purple grapes? Green60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? Hopefully tonight after work61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? In bed lmao62: when will be the next time you text someone? Probably later today63: where will you be 5 hours from now? Hopefully home64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. Taking a shit65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? Yeah66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Maybe67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? I hugged someone today c:68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Man I should really go to sleep earlier 69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? My whole life 70: how many windows are open on your computer? Like 571: how many fingers do you have? All of them?????72: what is your ringtone? The arrested development theme song73: how old will you be in 5 months? 1974: where is your mum right now? Puerto Rico 75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? Toxic toxic toxic 76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Barely but yeah78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? A girl named Brianna79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? Yeah my old suspension school dean lmao hes the homie80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Dont remind me...81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? One.82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? My dad lmao83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? Probably not84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? That's fucking gross wtf85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? Depends on the drugs and as long as they share86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? The theatre applauded87: who was your last received call from? My bestie 88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Hell yeah89: what is something you wish you had more of? Reliable sources of love that I can trust90: have you ever trusted someone too much? It's my biggest problem91: do you sleep with your window open? Nah I have fans and AC92: do you get along with girls? Yeh93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I dont think so??94: does sex mean love? Definitely not95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? I wish we were so we could finally talk96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Yeah I think so97: did you sleep alone this week? Sadly98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? Yeah I guess I do99: do you believe in love at first sight? I thought I did100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? My ex.

[starlight-seeker]

ALL OF THEM ~~~~~~~

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…It really depends who the person Is lol, I haven’t kissed anyone in a long time and the last person wasn’t so great so I would kindly reject them ://

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

FUCK YES I SLEPT UNTIL 1:30 PM

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

It throws a lot into perspective. There’s a lot people take for granted and once you loose it you don’t realize until it’s gone and you can’t get it back.

4: Do you have siblings?

An older brother whose 9 years apart from me named Chris.

5: How many kids do you want?

2 probably, both more likely adopted.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Collin Aka Literal-Trashlord.

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Nah, person was shorter than me lmao.

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

Who knows. I don’t really care weirdly enough lol.

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My mother.

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

No.

11: When’s your birthday?

June 3rd.

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Not really, I kind of blocked the memory out lmao.

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Iphone S7

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Rn I’m wearing my work pants 😩

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

God I hope so, I wasn’t in a great place mentally then lmao.

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

LMAO THATS LOADED. LATELY MY GAY ASS HAS BEEN FINDING MURDER MYSTERIES AND BUZZFEED VIDEOS WHILE TEXTING FRIENDS AS THEY SLEEP.

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

Paper definitely.

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Probably. 👀🗡

19: Last night you felt…?

Fine mostly, tired and a bit sore.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

To be able to go stargazing with someone close to me as well as get my life together hopefully and travel.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I think so. I haven’t done that to my biological mom at least 😂

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Uh…7 and a half hrs?? I went to bed at 5:35 and woke up at 1:30 pm.

23: Are you a morning or night person?

Definitely a night owl. Morning person Rarely.

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

I banged into my friends counter like a dumbass. That or I was doing a price check and hit into something.

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

Mostly though i forget to reply sometimes oof.

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

Talk to them casually, times passed and we’re still close beyond reason. ❤️

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No. I don’t really care about it 😤

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

Yeah, a few people honestly. Some I was extremely close to.

29: How many months until your birthday?

12

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Celery or Apple slices.

31: Did you like this past summer?

It was good. So yeah I can’t complain.

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

Working and hanging out with friends.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Big oof. Honestly make the best of it?? Really no reason to get upset at this point.

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Get fucked, Steve.” (We were playin Yahtzee with an Ai)

35: Your mood summed into one word?

O O F.

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

playing Yahtzee with friends and an Ai Whose kicking all our asses.

37: What are your initials?

K. C. M.

38: Are you a happy person?

Generally though I do struggle with depression but no big deal.

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Yeah, we’re still close friends.

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I want to travel around, but I would love somewhere quiet with mountains where I can see stars almost every night.

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

Yes. We went to a trampoline park and got absolutely lit jumping around. 👀🔥

42: What did you do yesterday?

I worked 2:00 to 6:30 as a Cashier otherwise I went home and chilled out 😎

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

Thankfully I have a day off tomorrow. So I’m probably gonna chill out and continue with ideas for a comic I might post soon.

44: How late did you stay up last night?

Until 5:35 AM.

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

Yeah definitely. I would drop everything for a select handful of people. Honestly I’d help anyone if I could.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

No omg. I laugh literally at anything unless I’m in a weird funk.

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

Yes, I’m still alright with one ex. But honestly work it out and hopefully things will be alright. Especially if its a mutual breakup things should be alright even if they’re awkward for a while.

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

Lmao nah. I doubt it.

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

BRUH YOU ACT LIKE I REMEMBER

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

Never wish that on somebody.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yes I had it dyed Teal once.

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

I doubt it. I’d have issues trusting them.

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

This year shockingly was.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

Yeah, I miss my family a lot. I don’t really get to see them. I got to see my mom today and I was really happy. ❤️

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

My mom probably wouldn’t like it at first but grow to like it knowing her, she wants to get a butterfly tattoo on her wrist.

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

Stomach and side mostly. I can’t really get comfy on my back :((

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

Somewhere nice and fun. Probably star lit and mountain filled but still some hustle and bussle.

58: What would you change about your life right now?

Living situation, I love living with my best friend but sometimes I miss living with my mom?? Idk.

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Yeah a handful of personal things. But I feel alright now.

60: Are you on the phone?

Yes

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

Probably back, I’d rather redo a few days than skip and loose out.

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

Probably 40,000 so I can give some and help others.

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

OH YEAH THATS AN EXPERIENCE

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

A few times, mostly when I’m stressed out or the situation is really tough.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

Yes. Especially when I forgot it and my friend came in clutch.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

I’m a mix. There’s days I love to be out others inside and relaxing.

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

It’s my alarm clock so sadly.

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

Sadly, yes.

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

Probably like 20 + hrs. One good ass nap.

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Looks at age. Uhm 😂😂😂

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Yeah. I’d rather the person come to me than hide it and talk shit. Even if it hurts I’d rather know and fix the situation.

72: What’s your favorite color?

I love deep reds but I also like blues and purples.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Yes a few times

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

LMAO YES. i was looking for my wallet once and panicked but i was holding it.

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Depending on the situation but when the questions dumb as hell or argument yes.

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

Yeah. I’d rather know so I don’t accidentally break their heart. I’d rather know so I can confront the situation though still I’d be extremely flattered.

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

Yes.

78: Does anyone call you babe?

Yeah a handful of people.

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

A lot ????

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

Relationship. Never had a one nighter lol.

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Dark purple with writing on it from my college 😂

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

Yeah. Someone I really did trust and love. They did some shitty stuff and I had to break the friendship off but even now I find myself checking in on them now and again even though the answer is always the same or really cold.

#Guido i actually hate you #omg #bruh #this took a while.

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #2021 daily

[magicrobins]

Dare you to answer all 100 of those questions

Well shit man I feel challenged.

All questions answered under the cut.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

As in boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope, single af over here :P

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Uhh probs? I mean I don’t really remember but it probably wasn’t a big thing.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

My kitty, my little pumpkin, Freckles uwu

4: What’s something you really want right now?

To finish answering these questions? JK JK lmao!

I’d really like to see one of my best friends again, for like more than just one day but like I always really want that.

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

In a way, yes. I’m afraid that I’ll fall in love with someone I’m not meant to be with and have my heart broken. I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with someone who won’t like that I’m sex repulsed, who won’t like that I don’t think I’d want to have kids, or at least little kids/babies. I know the right person won’t mind any of that, but I’m afraid of falling for the wrong person before I fall for the right one.

6: Do you like the beach?

Yes! I like looking for seashells but I stay the fuck away from the ocean.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

I haven’t fallen asleep on a couch, that I’m aware of, but one of my best friends and I cuddled on one while relaxing during a 24 film contest.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A picture of Korrasami from the LOK comic.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Name the last four beds?? Uh my own, my dad’s, and my sister’s?

10: Do you like your phone?

Meh. It’s a good phone but since some iOS update, it’s been a real bitch. :/

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Ahahahaha no. Some things are nice, some things are… what they are. I didn’t plan to spend four years at MJC but I’m getting my AA degree at the end of this year. I didn’t plan to want to continue my schooling and get a Bachelor’s/Master’s in archaeology but that’s because I’d y’know buried that dream deep down ‘cause I thought I wasn’t smart enough (still sometimes feel like that but I got this, don’t worry). I didn’t plan to actually get into theater and want to minor in theater. I didn’t plan to get hella into Dungeons & Dragons and play in two campaigns, DMing one, and uploading the videos to YouTube but hey, I like how that turned out. I didn’t plan on being stuck with writer’s block majority of the time and restarting the same book over ten times. All in all, life’s not really going how I’d planned but at the same time, I hadn’t really made a plan. I just sort of let it take its course, I guess?

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Oh a friend of a friend’s who joined this RPG campaign that’s based on the Dresden Files. She was added to the group chat so I added her number. :)

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Uhh I’d rather have both, duh.

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional by far. I’ve dealt with physical pain for like four years now in my left shoulder (finally getting that fixed this summer) and while it can hurt so much that it makes me cry, I’ll take it over emotional pain. That’s probs not a good thing but that’s how I feel.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

I like the zoo, but I’d rather go to an art museum. I adore museums and don’t go to them as often as I’d like.

16: Are you tired?

Who isn’t? It’s past 11pm rn so yeah, I am lol.

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

My first phone contact was probs my parents and sister so my whole life lol.

18: Are they a relative?

Yep ;P

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

I have one ex and I’d have to say no. Nothing against him, it’s just that I don’t have romantic feelings for him. I don’t want to date someone I don’t have romantic feelings for.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Not like a kiss on the cheek, I’m guessing? If so, then no one :P

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Mm, I’d probs say yes if they proposed. A wedding takes time to plan though! ;P

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Haven’t ever kissed anyone -shrugs-

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

None, but I usually wear at least one on my right wrist if I’m not wearing long sleeves.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

No really, sorry.

25: What’s on your mind?

“Dear God, there’s a lot of questions!” lmao

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope. I’d like some but I’m terrified of pain and needles. ^^”””

27: What is your favorite color?

Red!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Shit idk? At this point it’s looking like never lmao

29: Who are you texting?

No one atm. Last person I sent a text to was my sis.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

…Y’all just keep wanting to rub in that I ain’t ever kissed anyone before lmao!

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Probably. :| I also probably caused that bad thing to happen.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yep! uwu

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I mean there’s someone I’d love to have feelings for me but no, I don’t think so. It might be the insecurities talking, but no one, to my knowledge, has had feelings for me in a while.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Uhh aside from parents or family?? Shit I can’t remember, but y’know what? I have damn pretty eyes. I have pretty hazel eyes ok lmao.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

Then that person would be kissing air ‘cause I haven’t ever kissed anyone lmaooo

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Every Valentine’s Day, yes. :’)

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes. I’m friends with Nobody. xDDD

38: What do your friends call you?

Depends on the friends and when they met me. Friends who I’ve known since high school called me by my full first name, “Briana.” Friends I’ve met online or at college call me by my nickname, “Anna.”

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Not that I can think of… Irritated, sure, but not really upset.

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Pfffffffffffffffffffffft��. Of course.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Uhh I don’t have any atm but probs on my leg?

42: What is it from?

Hell if I know -shrugs-

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

That hasn’t been for a while… I usually feel this way when I go to class in the beginning when I don’t really know anyone, especially if I’m put in front of the class to talk. (This happened a lot in the beginning of the acting class I took.)

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My dad. Called him to let him know the fucking hide away door was busted again… I hate that door.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

All of my boots. uwu

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

Yep! Mostly depends on the outfit, but majority of the time I’ll wear this Code Geass hat I have.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Fuck no.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

Pffft no.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

According to Chrome, the top three I go to is YouTube, Tumblr, and Facebook.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Maybe? I’m not sure.

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My left shoulder. For the past four years. :’)

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Depending on who they’re with. Saying “goodbye” to one of my best friends when he moved to Arizona was… that was painful.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Probs Dr. Pepper.

55: How is your hair?

Fine atm. It’s not combed but I don’t mind how it looks rn.

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my phone.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Yes, anythings possible.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

When aren’t I? Lol yes, I was.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Meh either is fine with me.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Idk, when they need it?

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

…I’m not sure, tbh.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Tomorrow? Idk.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Home, in bed. :P

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleeping ;P

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yes.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Absolutely.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

My cat lmao

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I don’t really remember, sorry :/

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Probably.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Two - five tabs in Chrome though.

71: How many fingers do you have?

…Ten?

72: What is your ringtone?

Just some generic ring tone.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 23 :P

74: Where is your Mum right now?

At her house probs.

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Let’s go with “almost in love” ‘cause idk wtf falling in love feels and idk if you can fall in love with someone who you have strong feelings for but never dated.

To answer the question, though: ‘cause I was a closeted af idiot. I mean, in all honesty, I understand why I was closeted. I was refusing to admit to even myself that I wasn’t straight. I get why I was so scared but like… in hindsight I wish I’d been open with myself and open with this person.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Absolutely!

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

…Wtf is year 7? Is that 7th grade? If so, I was homeschooled then so didn’t have a crush. :P

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

I have a few family members with that name.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Nope.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Mm one person but that’s just ‘cause I legitly don’t know how to move on, like no one’s really told me a good way to move on so my brain is just like “What to do with these unrequited feelings fuck :|”

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

I have ;D lmao

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Mm probs not? Not unless they text me. I texted them yesterday, didn’t get a response but I know they’ve been busy.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Idk? I don’t drink so idk why I’d get drunk.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I saw Black Panther. Enough said. uwu

87: Who was your last received call from?

Probs the hospital to schedule an appointment?

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Wtf no!! DDD:

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Either money specifically to pay for school, or filming equipment so I can film the D&D sessions how I’d like to film them. :|

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Maybe? Idk.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Nope. Door open but window closed.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Lmao I like to think so.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Um idk? I mean I’ve never told the person I had (have?) strong feelings for that I’ve had those feelings and how long I’ve felt that way but like idk if they need to know that?

94: Does sex mean love?

No. You can have sex without love and love without sex.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

I’d be alone. :|

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Idk does Nobody have a lip ring? lmaoooo

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

Nope, I have my cat and my dog. uwu

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yes. I have my friends, my pets, and someone special to me.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes. I don’t believe everyone experiences it - everyone falls in love in different ways - but I believe it’s possible.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Uhhhh idk? That was probs years ago?

#i dID IT #-collapses- #ask anna #magicanon #my life

[nerdexpress]

All of the questions for the ask meme

Ya killing me 😂 I already answered the first 10 so I’ll do the rest

11: Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?- I’ve never been in a relationship so I have no clue, but I’m pretty sure I could. I know I would put effort into any relationship I’d be in

12: Are you mad at someone right now?- No

13: Do you believe in love?- Amazingly, yes, yes I do

14: What makes you laugh no matter what?- Idk probably comedy shows or dumb early youtube memes if I’m honest lmao

15: Who was the last person you talked to?- My roommate

16: Do you get butterflies around the person you like?- I don’t have a crush on anyone in particular right now but with the few crushes I’ve had idk if “butterflies” is the right word. Hard to describe

17: Will you get married?- I hope so

18: When was the last time you smiled?- 20 minutes ago watching a WatchMojo vid on early 2000s songs bc they had Shake It by Metro Station and it made me laugh

19: Does anyone like you?- No clue

20: Do you secretly like someone?- No

21: Who was the first person you talked to today?- My roommate

22: Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?- My roommate lmao

23: What are you NOT looking forward to?- Finals and packing up the dorm

24: What ARE you looking forward to?- Being done with finals

25: Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that they loved you and meant it?- No

26: Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?- I’ve never dated anyone so this can’t really be answered

27: Do you plan on moving out within the next year?- I’ve already “moved out” I guess to college but I’m going back to switch off with my parents for the summer but idk. That’s just how it is right now

28: Are you a forgiving person?- Depends on what they did. I’ll give second chances but also I value loyalty. When you’re done with me, you’re done.

29: How many TRUE friends do you have?- Maybe 5?

30: Do you fall for people easily?- In some ways, yes

31: Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?- Don’t have an ex

32: What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?- Mike’s Hard Lemonade

33: Who was the last person you drove with?- My roommate, we went to get McDonald’s

34: How late did you stay up last night and why?- about 3 am bc I wasn’t tired bc I slept 12 hours Friday night but also I was really tipsy so I’m still confused as to why that didn’t Make me tired

35: If you could move somewhere else, would you?- As of now I’ve got nowhere to go so no

36: Who was the last person you took a picture of?- My roommate for Snapchat

37: Can you live a day without TV?- Yeah, I didn’t even watch tv today

38: When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?- That’s hard to pinpoint for me tbh. I’ll be funny and say finding out Shania Twain would’ve voted for Trump if she was an American citizen was really upsetting

39: Three makes you go by- Miranda, Panda, and idk my url I guess?

40: Are you currently in a relationship?- Nope!

41: What is your all-time favorite romance movie?- Moulin Rouge

42: Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?- I believe everyone has different and multiple soulmates for different things. My roommate is my platonic soulmate for example. You can have a music soulmate, or a dance soulmate. That’s just what I think.

43: What’s your current problem?- I haven’t done any work but I need to go to sleep

44: Have you ever had your heart broken?- Yeah. Not in a romantic sense though.

45: Your thoughts on long distance relationships?- People who do that have strength and commitment that I will commend them greatly on. Your soulmate isn’t always gonna be nearby so staying committed with someone over long ways makes sense and tests you in ways that close distance wouldn’t.

46: How many kids do you want to have?: I always figured maybe two but I don’t want to give birth so I’m either gonna adopt or become a foster mom, which if I did the second that would likely be more than 2. Idk I’ll figure it out with my future partner.

47: Have you found it hard to tell someone you like them?- I’ve never told any of my crushes that I liked them (with on sort-of exception but that wasn’t direct) so Yes

Thank you for asking! That was a Lot lmao

#long post #Miranda answers your questions #whatisaleftshoe

[merbalerbalerb]

ANSWERS ABOUT ME THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR😁

Get to know the blogger! 1. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I've had a boyfriend the past 2 and a half years🔒 2. When did your last hug take place? Yesterday when I got home from work 3. Are you a jealous person? Lol yes, but it took me a while to realize it. Babe and I were at the mall and one of the girls was trying to sell whatever to him and I got in between them haha 4. Are you tired right now? I'm always tired... summer wya 5. Do you chew on your straws? Yea, sucks for my reusable tumbler straws, they crack easily 6. Have you ever been called a tease? Yup, but maybe I was being one at the time 7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Nope, I'd go insane! 8. Do you cry easily? Hahahahahahyes, yes I do. 9. What should you be doing right now? I'm at work, so I should be working, but it's dead slow 10. Are you a heavy sleeper? .. I've slept through a fire drill before 11. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? Already doing that❤ 12. Are you mad at someone right now? No, I can't stay mad at people. I will either forgive or forget I was mad 13. Do you believe in love? Darling, I do😍 14. What makes you laugh no matter what? My boyfriend being a dork like always 15. Who was the last person you talked to? My coworker next to me, who is watching snake videos on youtube 16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like? No, but sometimes I can stare at him and it takes me back to when we first started dating and I did 17. Will you get married? Yes, we will.. probably sooner than I'm expecting to 18. When was the last time you smiled? When I was talking to a customer earlier today 19. Does anyone like you? My damn boyfriend 20. Do you secretly like someone? My damn boyfriend lmao 21. Who was the first person you talked to today? My boyfriend while he was getting ready for work, but I was half asleep 22. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My sister🌺 23. What are you NOT looking forward to? Studying for finals😣 24. What ARE you looking forward to? That tax returnnnn💰💰 25. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? MY BOYFRIEND 26. Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do? Mind my own business.. 27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year? I mean technically I'm already moved out, but we might be heading to a third apartment this summer 28. Are you a forgiving person? Yes I am, no point in holding grudges. 29. How many TRUE friends do you have? Like 3 30. Do you fall for people easily? Yea I do haha, but luckily I finally fell for a good person 31. Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? Nope but he fell for me💀 32. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? A breakfast burrito 33. Who was the last person you drove with? My boyfriend 34. How late did you stay up last night and why? I was up until 2 reading for a class 35. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yea, current ideas are Seattle, San Marcos, or just anywhere else really 36. Who was the last person you took a picture of? My cat.. if she counts as a person 37. Can you live a day without TV? I could, but what else would I do with my time? 38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? When I realized I might not find a good way to celebrate my 21st birthday.. (but that's gonna be it's own post for later) 39. Three names you go by… Maribel, Merb(a few friends), Miss(the kids at work) boring sorry 40. Are you currently in a relationship? 2 and a half years strong, baby! 41. What is your all-time favorite romance movie? 50 first dates lol 42. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate? I believe there's more than one way to define a soulmate, so there isn't one specific person out there, you have many soul mates but for different reasons 43. What’s your current problem? Food for the kids today still hasn't arrived and I need to feed them in like an hour.. maybe I need to make a phone call 44. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yep, by myself and others, but that's all in the past 45. Your thoughts of long distance relationships? I personally would have a hard time sustaining one because I love physical closeness. I can't imagine being away from my love for too long 46. How many kids do you want to have? 2 or 3, but not just yet 47. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? Yea, I first did that in the eighth grade and I was super nervous but luckily he let me down easy 🌻 -questions taken from @pumpkinspicegirll

#Day three #get to know me #personal #q and a #text post #I didn't originate the questions #bored #at work #new blog #new #let's be friends #k bye

[shytiff]

Small August Wins

1 - DL, did my part for PKP, read a bit about leprosy reaction (PKP related), watched a cute movie tune in for love, ara stayed over at my home, edited 1 pld article

2 - exercised a bit, edited 3 pld articles, DL, finished ppt tinpus PKP, walked to the nearby lake with ara, ate nasgor smoked chicken (been a while!) and jco donuts and my tummy is happy, felt afraid with DV exam huft. I hope I can prepare myself properly

3 - DL, edited 1 article, went to school together w ara, deep fried by dr adhi for my minicex (but i am grateful for the opportunity), emir took a while to pick me up (he left home 1530 and arrived 1715) so i did some status work, arrived at home super hungry but moms food is delicious and wow glucose is finally in (after previously supported by nasi uduk and 1 jco donut) and the pain from today sort of fades away.

4 - DL, tried to study as much as i could (the panic is real), went to kencana to get dr adhis signature at 12 but he replied my chat at about 1330 🙃 , finished self reflection, group called with my group for exam prep

5 - did not DL bcs i fell asleep!! Thank god for streak freeze, met up with dr adhi in poli regarding minicex bcs turns out he brought my status etc, hes very kind 🥺 dr yudo kindly took his time to answer questions via wa voicenote even though he had a tiring day 🥺 bless all the kind people in this world

6 - DL, alhamdulillah passed the exam with dr sondang and dr larissa even though i was being a dumb ass student (thankfully theyre patient enough). Honestly panicked during the morning, i was super afraid. Searched some drug dosage for renata. I hope she passes the remed!!

7 - slept and lazed all day :( edited 1 article, dv closing. Managed to say thanks to dr yudo even though i was lowkey near tears bcs i cant for the life of me say something even mildy emotional, DL at like 15 mins before midnight

8 - finally at lvl 3 DL by cheating with my notes lmaoo, ate burgers and half pizza by dcheese pizza but had mencret2 the next day lmaooo, watched bosscha virtual sky sightseeing

9 - DL, watched Summer Vacation, edited 2 articles, put some sheet mask on (the numbers surely diminished since my cousin took some 🙂 ), pretty much watched youtube all day. At night i dreamed going to a villa that kinda looks like matamori, and the villa near it was also booked by other groups of friend, and i was recording snow falling from the sky and snow on the cliffs, but there was also a snake under the bed, and writing patients resume -_-(?)

10 - DL, read pem psikiatri cbt batch 1 optima, 25 CBT PADI, a fruitful 2,5 hr discussion with dr Heriani, SpKJ

11 - DL, poli with mendel hari and dr Khamelia, SpKJ, mustered some courage to do the ppt, phoned the patient to ask a little bit more, fell asleep and thank god i’ve prayed isya

12 - DL, lazied and played get rich, felt sick and was sick, nose congested, head starting to hurt, i dont know what is it that triggered my emotions but when my dad asked "tiff kok bersin2?" i felt like i have no privacy and they were too intruding and i wept silently in my room (bcs ppl outside can hear) and yall my nose just goes 100% blocked. aint accepting air today. Massaged my face around the sinus area until i can somehow breathe nicely and fall asleep. (took about half and hour of snot cleaning, drinking and mulling around)

13 - since i felt bad abt lazying i started my day early. Woke up at 5. Put on tretinoin, 15 CBT PADI, DL, naskah psikiatri WIP (Work in progress). It rained today. The sky was grey half of the day, which I LOVE. I felt better and more cheery, especially at abt 4-5 pm when it was raining hard and im snuggled in bed. The laptop stand arrived and bitch it was fucking amazing. My back and neck muscles felt less awkward and/or sore working at my ergonomically-awful table and chair combo turned ok thanks to laptop stand!!

14 - DL, poli with dr cika, crashed aras place (drank thai tea, ate flip burger and sausages), it felt refreshing to be in a different place rather than seeing my room all day everyday. Afterwards ara indah and i ate po noodle bar, the taste was kind of herbal (not brothy) in a good way. Tried some sort of gyoza, it was good too. Juan got accepted at USU civic engineering. Went to atikahs place, passed a red light and i got ppl a bit annoyed lmao sorry :(((, talked with atikah until 1-2ish pm

15 - richeese and fried rice for brunch time, went back home (felt socially refreshed!) to see 2 bottles of sbux coffee i ordered, claras nastar and vit d supplement from tokped. Did RPS and ikhtisar for naskah. DL. Sbux' coffee still upsets my stomach lmao but it did keep me awake and focused enough til 11 pm

16 - DL, after staying over at friends place i feel.suer content to be just at home. Ate while watching erna limdaughs vids, sleeeept

17 - DL, naskah WIP, whipped myself to go do naskah by drinking caramel macchiato and playing coffee - bts. It tasted better when i hear jks soothing voice

18 - DL, finally panicked a bit and did ppt, read a bit abt bipolar, chugged hazelnut dolce latte and somehow its not bitter anymore it actually tasted good. Talked w mendel and hari a bit abt the patient

19 - the dr actually showed up to zoom while i was opening other screen and i didnt realize (ultra embarrassing!!!) basically my diagnosis for axis I and II were wrong. She was kindly explaining and i was more dissapointed with myself but at least its all over? Talked w hansel a bit. Revised a bit of naskah. Submitted hardcopy of naskah and refleksi to mbak Asma. Went to ara. DL, ate gwen's dimsum (quite good and fulfilling). Planned to go to kashiwa but we ended up getting bakmi akiaw. Went back "home" to DM, took only 35 mins.

20 - DL, slept half of the day since im on my period (what even is daily structure), woke up in the evening, decided to start “the folk of the air” series. Binged the first book in one go, from 8 pm to 1 am lmaoo

21 - DL, finished the series at night. it’s nice but not as good as six of crows duology. bts comeback with dynamite!! :) i love them. its scary to think they are still progressing and going up and getting better stats. When will it all stop?

22 - discussion with dr natalia spKJ at 7.30 am, DL, drank matcha latte at starbucks airport hub (been a while! It doesnt taste quite good as i remembered) while backing up HD data at drive and some padi CBT (finished TO 3. After all this time, only to 3?!), felt a bit better after i went out, read a falling cohabitation again

23 - DL, danced to baepsae, slept in the afternoon (my body is too weak nowadays)

24 - DL, psychiatry closing, 1 pamela reif vid, 2P (CBT PADI)

25 - DL, made latar belakang for propeks nemo

26 - DL, 4P, rapat nemo

27 - DL, met up with atikah pupuy @ toska, tried yogurt and fruit, mac and cheese, vegan mentai rice and had dinner @ bakmi gm. mom somehow told (and allowed) me to go back home (it was 9 am and i was abt to stay over at atikah’s)

28 - DL, i dont feel like doing anything helppp, i know there’s stuff that im supposed to do but i cant bring myself to do it. a week will pass by, a month, and before you know it exam will arrive

29 - DL, ordered burgushi, i literally have no strength to go at static bike (can only do for a couple of mins), didnt rly do anything else bcs im in a slump nowadays

30 - its scary that the month is almost over again. my life just goes away like that but i still dont feel like doing anything, DL, tried to follow some dances on youtube to move my body

31 - DL, 2A, 4P