#we were never allowed (and tbh i wonder how they were even allowed in schools they seemed like a tragedy waiting to happen)

[calltainn]

Could a depressed person with no upper body strength do this?

(Yes!)

#practicing for my future career as a cat burglar #i've wanted to try climbing gym ropes since primary school #we were never allowed (and tbh i wonder how they were even allowed in schools they seemed like a tragedy waiting to happen) #i really don't have any upper body strength to speak of #just a lot of determination a past life as a monkey and on this day a desperate need for some good brain chemicals #the video is mostly me climbing down but that's when i'm smiling so #i saved this to my drafts last night and decided to actually post it just now after seeing blumineck's video #i guess that's what climbing a rope looks like when you have upper body strength 😳

[k1ngdom-of-thieves]

Hi there! can you do headcanons for the housewardens of Night Raven College finding out MC is a girl?

MC has short boyish looking hair (for example 👇)

And MC is always wearing a boy uniform around the school, so everyone there though MC was a boy. Except for Grim and Crowley.

Until one day, all of MC's other clothes were dirty, so she had to wear the out she was wearing when she got teleported to NRC.

Then Crowley asked MC to deliver something to one of the dorms. And when MC sees the surprise look on the housewardens' faces, she's just like "Yeah I'm a girl, but what's with that look? You and everyone else already knew that."

I’m so sorry you had to wait so long for this, my twst OC has a similar story to this lol

Dorm leaders + finding out reader is a girl

Riddle Rosehearts (chapter 1 spoilers, just wanna cover my tracks)

Riddle was completely blindsided. He had no idea that the NRC allowed girls to be in the school, but then realized that your case was a very special one.

He was a bit ashamed about having you witness his overblot. Not that he wasn’t before but his mother taught him to be nothing if not respectful to a girl. One of the only things she did right.

He started acting a bit more “gentlemanly” to make up for his previous blunder. He held the door open for you, offered to carry the items for you, it was kinda weird to say the least.

You had to tell him to dial it back and that you liked him the way he was before. That’s when he gets it through his mind that he was over exaggerating quite a bit.

“I apologize for my prior behavior. I-I mean, I’m sorry for assuming that you were a male. It was very crude of me.”

Leona Kingscholar

Leona had a bit of an idea that you weren’t a man but it wasn’t his place to comment, nor did he care all that much anyway. When you appeared in Savanaclaw, he was more amused than anything else.

He was glad his suspicions were confirmed, though he thought it amusing how you assumed it was common knowledge. Although just seeing how everyone treated you like one of the guys should’ve shown you otherwise.

He has Ruggie take whatever you were delivering, his family would kill him if they thought he was letting a woman do the heavy lifting. Ruggie is more than pissed.

Asks you if you plan to wear anymore “feminine” clothing after this. He doesn’t mind if you do or don’t, he just feels that it would be a very unique change of pace for an “all boys” college.

“Do you want to wear stuff like this more often? It’d be pretty funny seeing your friends react to your getup.”

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul was definitely caught off guard. He’s not gonna show it though, he pretends that everything’s fine even though he’s beyond confused.

He takes the updated menus from you and makes small talk with you while sorting them. Little things like how your day was, the weather, if you were always a girl or if he’s losing his mind.

Asks if being in the NRC has been a comfortable experience. It must be quite isolating being the only person in a dorm, the only magicless person and the only girl in this school. If you need anything, he’d be more than happy to make a deal with you.

Wonders if there’s anyone else that knows about you being a girl. When you tell him that you’ve only had to tell Crowley and Grim because you thought it was obvious he feels a small sense of pride being one of the few.

“Well then, please remember that if you need anything to make your life here easier, we at the Monstro Lounge are more than happy to assist.”

Kalim Al Asim

Kalim was taken by complete surprise when you showed up to Scarabia in that outfit. It’s hot as balls there so I don’t blame you tbh. He does the dramatic “WHAAAT” thing and everything.

Bombards you with questions. He doesn’t mean anything bad by it, he’s just confused about how this was right in front of him the whole time.

He has a bunch of sisters so he has a slight understanding on how girls differ from guys but he’s never had to use that info in his day-to-day life. He makes up for his lack of understanding the same way he deals with other things he has a hard time with; with pure enthusiasm.

Kalim asks if there’s anything you need, anything at all. From practical things like new clothes and food, to less normal requests like new pets or entertainment. Jamil overheard at this point and told him to relax.

“I can’t believe you’ve been a girl this whole time!! You definitely fooled me ya know!”

Vil Schoenheit

Vil had no idea you were a woman but he wasn’t going to let that change how he treated you. He still spoke to you like it was a normal day and and even insulted talked shit about Crowley not getting you enough clothing.

He’s honestly more offended about your lack of a closet. He refuses to let it go. He also offers to let you have some skincare products that didn’t work that well with him. He won’t be offended if you don’t accept his offer, if you were Epel that would be a different story however.

The rest of your visit is mostly him offering to help you in different ways, like going shopping for clothes with you or picking out different accessories for you to borrow. You’re lucky he likes you so much.

Like I said before, he doesn’t change much of how he treats you; you’re still the prefect of ramshackle after all. He knows you can handle his harsher demeanor.

“While you’re here, would you like to have some moisturizer that was sent for me to review? It’s unused and I despise letting things go to waste.”

Idia Shroud

Idia was completely surprised when you showed up to his dorm with a package. First of all, you were IN his dorm and secondly, YOU WERENT A DUDE??

Ortho had to come in and check up on his brother because he was staring into space for so long. Ortho knew you were a girl but that’s another can of worms. He’s fine physically but mentally will be something else for a while.

Your gonna have to talk to Ortho about whatever it is you needed to deliver, it’s pretty funny seeing the difference in their reactions.

Will not be able to form a coherent sentence for a while, he still needs to process that what he thought was true was actually a lie. He’s so dramatic

“There’s nothing wrong with you being a girl, but it’s just surprising seeing that it’s an all boys school. Not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-you-being-here-someone-please-shut-me-up.”

Malleus Draconia

Malleus also had absolutely no idea that you were a girl, but he doesn’t seem to be too shocked. Human fashions change very rapidly so he just assumed it was that.

Takes whatever you were delivering and offers for you to stay at the dorm for a little while longer. Lilia’s on cooking duty tonight and was really excited about you tasting his food. Run while you still can

The words he uses doesn’t change but the tone he uses is a little softer than before. He was raised to always treat a lady with respect. Even if he’s watched you deal with several overblots and have already earned his respect.

He wonders if all of the other students did know that you were a girl and this was just another thing he was left out on. You have to snap him out of his negative thoughts before he gets all grouchy for the rest of the day.

“Oh! My apologies, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just unaware that I was the only one that didn’t know this about you.”

#twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst imagines #riddle rosehearts x reader #twst riddle #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst azul #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim x reader #twst kalim #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit x reader #twst vil #vil schoenheit #twst idia #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #twst malleus #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

[elsfairy]

YOUTH ⋯ ♡ᵎ (Remember, this is just my interpretation of Sevika as a teenager. Nothing here is 100% true. I'm just making this up, okay? bare with me as I have nothing to go on. The only part that is true, as I've heard is about her dad. Thank you to everyone who helped me and gave me ideas, i would have lost it tbh)

✯ She's definitely that teen who is causing trouble for the sake of making trouble. Who hasn't been a troublemaker in their life?

✯ From a young age, she's had the 'look at me the wrong way & I'll beat you' look. That stone, cold stare that makes anyone tremble.

✯ A very big child when it came to all her favorite snacks. Especially muffins. She's a gushy being when she's got her chocolate chip muffins. Don't steal them from her though, she's breaking a hand.

✯ Has a small social circle. Just because she was able to do shit herself, she's only allowed a few people to be around her.

✯ Acts like those friends are annoying and piss her off, but would do anything to make sure they are protected. She cared. Even if she showed nothing.

✯ Ran her mouth, constantly.

✯ "Shut the fuck up, I don't care if you're over 50 years old, shut the fuck up already"

✯ Her relationship with her father isn't the best. It's all over the place so she doesn't really comment on it when someone asks. Not that they would dare. Whereas, her mother was completely different. She actually took time to be with her.

✯ Has been smoking for most of her teenage life. Mainly as a stress reliever. If she's not, then she's getting caught up in mischief to take her mind off what was called home.

✯ She's had her fair share of girlfriends. Some don't exactly stay longer than intended but she's had them nonetheless.

✯ "Sevika, this has been the 5th girl to leave your room in the past week"

✯ "What can I say? I'm irresistible"

✯ Her humor has always been so dry. For a long time, she doesn't really find anything amusing or funny. She was like a blank canvas. Not sure what she was doing.

✯ The Brothel was a place she always found herself whenever she was either angry or just flat-out bored. We don't question her life choices.

✯ "Going to the Brothel isn't going to fix what happened⎯"

✯ "We don't talk about her alright? You never bring her up. I for sure didn't give you the right to"

✯ If Sevika hated one thing, it would be the mere mention of her ex. She did not like thinking about it, let alone talking about it. It was her business and hers only.

✯ Growing up with brothers, gave her the advantage. She was able to work out with them whenever they would have the time. Just to have something she could protect herself with.

✯ Was always, somehow the class pet. That was when she attended, of course, half the time she was skipping whatever class she has. Still managed to keep up with her school work, not sure how.

✯ "Gonna get yourself into more shit if you keep it up, Sev"

✯ "Don't fuckin call me that. You left, you don't get to call me that anymore. You stopped being my sister years ago"

✯ She has always been let down by people who were supposed to care about her. Her first real love broke her heart for still unknown reasons. Her own father didn't really specify why he was always angry at her. Her own sister ran out on her. How was she supposed to trust anyone?

✯ Sevika was always sneaking around, leaving her home at weird times of the night. Either to fuck around with her friends, or get into random fights. Sadly, that was how she coped.

✯ But, if there was something she actually found comfort in, it would be to be on her own. Although she hated thinking about everything wrong in her life, she felt at ease when she was alone. She always felt alone as it was anyway.

✯ "You look really funny when your hair sticks out like that"

✯ "Ha ha, shut the fuck up. Leave my hair alone"

✯ She loved her.

✯ She would always wonder where her life went wrong when she was alone. Once, she felt happy. She actually felt like nothing could break her. Maybe she broke in the wrong ways. Sometimes, she just missed being able to tell the good from the bad.

✯ Getting into fights became a common thing for her. One day she would leave the house completely fine, then come home hours later covered in bruises and cuts. A part of her just did not care.

✯ Sad as it was, Sevika doesn't even remember the last time someone said they were proud of her. She got good grades... sometimes, but she would have wanted to hear it at least once again.

✯ She's definitely trying to start a fight with someone if they are getting too close to her or her friends. She didn't do well with new people, at all.

✯ A childish habit she had and still has, but she would always find herself randomly excited walking past the shops, especially the ones with the cakes in the window.

✯ Worked a shitty job at some crappy place just to be able to buy something she wanted. Or something she's had her eye on for a while. Money was alright, but it got her out the house.

✯ Would tense whenever someone would randomly walk behind her, or brush her shoulder as they tried to walk around her. She wasn't sure why she hated touch, she just did.

✯ Is constantly thinking of ways to leave or run away.

This is a mess... my fault guys <3. tbh, idk how to feel about this but if you like it, I can do another part. I missed a lot but, you would be here for hours reading.

#sevika #arcane sevika #sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika imagine #sevika headcanon

[threebooksoneplot]

love this podcast so much! this is probably a bit of a nuts ask but i just wanted to let you guys know that you've genuinely helped me in real life- I was approached by two Mormon missionaries today (i live in the UK so it was Unexpected to say the least) and for the entirety of the conversation I was remembering how you mentioned on one of your episodes (99% sure it was you guys) about how being on missionary is most Mormons' first experience of the wider world so you should do your best to be polite etc. all the context you gave genuinely helped me navigate the conversation so much lmao, you guys are entertaining AND educational 10/10

oh wow!! daaaamn, good for you!

and yeah, that sounds like something we would say. I (G) can't seem to dig up receipts right now but the tl;dr is that oftentimes, door-to-door evangelism of the kind mormon missionaries and jehovah's witnesses engage in is less effective at converting people, but highly effective at reinforcing to the group's members that all outsiders are Cruel And Sinful and therefore you should never leave The Church because that's where the only good and kind people are.

but also, like, 90% of the time the reason I (G) try to be kind to mormon missionaries is because they're like 20 and have never been allowed the simple joy of a macchiato (but must try to fill that void with vile concoctions of dr pepper, gummy worms, and half 'n half, apparently.)

also, let the record show that "being kind" does not mean showing any interest whatsoever in converting to mormonism, or leading them on to that effect! but it costs $0 to wish them a nice day and be a shining example of how wearing spaghetti straps does not in fact lead to sacrificing live goats to satan.

anyway. we're proud of you, anon! glad you like the ole podcast 🤠

—G

yeah this is awesome to hear!! and even to add onto this, that sort of advice is pretty good to utilize just in general when talking to people from these ultra-conservative, super-sheltered (and yes, usually religious) upbringings. like G said, you don't need to lie to them and make them believe that "oh yeah totally i'm absolutely going to see you this sunday and I sure will consider changing the entirety of my belief system/morals!" but, yknow, just be kind. it's good to do even for Normal Regular people you see on the street. but this isn't sesame street so I won't start that brand of schoolyard lecture.

semi-related, but a little tangential: my super-strict catholic high school used to invite mormon missionaries to come and 'speak with' specific religious classes (usually the TrulyCatholic bitches took these) every year. and every year we heard about how "lol the ridiculous mormons keep coming and being nice to us to try and talk about their religion as if we're EVER going to change our minds and believe in their FAKE and WRONG version of christianity?? isn't it so stupid that they're so patient and kind to us even as sister catherine anne stands back and lets us bully—I mean, debate these guys? anyways I wonder when the morons—I mean, mormons, will stop coming back. 😌💅"

and to this day I still think about those guys! because I never understood their willingness to come back every year, and I could not fathom why they were consistently so nice. learning more about mormonism through this podcast has really helped my ex-catholic ass look at the outside world and be like "oh, we were the assholes. I mean, I knew that already, but shit." and tbh i'm sure they honestly loved coming to my school, because nothing will solidify your own stance/opinion on a group of 'outsiders' than a mob of privileged ravenous catholic teenagers. anyways, let that be a refrain for you on your new day-to-day: don't be like the catholics, be kind. amen 🙏

—shannon

#asks #mormonism mention

[metacrisisdoctor]

"ten and rose fucked before tooth and claw"

it's hard to talk about the doctor and rose never had sex until tentoorose without sort of feeling like a buzzkill, and i think in fic and fanon everything goes, but if we are talking about canon and analysis in canon? they were not having sex - this is confirmed by rtd in his book multiple times.

to me, thinking they were having secret sex leads to a general misunderstanding of their relationship ngl. but more than that sex between new earth and tooth and claw actually makes the least amount of sense.

for example, i understand thinking they were having sex in fear her. i never thought this, and i still do not think they did- but sex taking place after the satan pit actually makes some narrative sense because those episodes are about the doctor letting go of some of his fears and literally and metaphorically allow himself to fall, fully, whatever that means! and their dynamic obviously becomes one of people who are in a commited romantic relationship. but in canon this is minus kissing and sex because he is still in the process of letting her in, not fully there, when doomsday happens- which is part of the tragedy of their seperation. all the things they didn't do and could not have ripped away before he was able heal enough to allow them to.

but despite this, if i squint, i GET sex after tsp.

but in tooth and claw? they are not there yet. not even remotely. first of all, rose is still dating mickey then. despite how we may or may not feel about this, she does kiss him before going to new earth with ten. is she having an emotional affair with the doctor? was she doing so since the first episode? yes, and it's delicious! (and let me remind you that mickey does cheat on her) do i think she would go past that? no. she is not that cruel, esp to not someone who she loves the way she does mickey - even if that relationship isn't what it once was.

on top of that, if they were shagging and in a commited relationship before school reunion, how do we make any peace with gitf? i hate this episode for various not shipper and for shipper reasons alike, but there are ways that i can look at it for it to make some sense. the doctor panicking about his depth of feeling for rose and knowing their life spans do not align after seeing sarah jane cause him to run off and attempt to distract himself. perhaps reinette mind raping him caused him to have feelings for her he wouldn't have otherwise. perhaps he was still, as we previously talked abt, was feeling frustrated with the on and off nature relationship of rose's relationship with mickey, perhaps that's also why he brought mickey on, to remind rose she has a boyfriend. all these things can be used to shift the episode to make some sense - and it's still a deeply ooc and icky episode imo - but if you think ten and rose are shagging in tooth and claw, HOW do you frame it in any other way than the doctor went off, abandoned rose and had a fling with someone else while having a sexual and romantic relationship with rose? it just doesn't fit in that place in their timeline.

it doesn't work. it's just not the time they would have had sex if they did, which they did not. and them not having had sex til he becomes human and has the freedom to be with her fully, and without reservations as she deserves, is not a bad thing. and it doesn't negate the love that they had in season one and two. and tbh them being happy and flirty does not automatically equate to sex and i kinda have a hard time wondering why people think it does. they're just happy to be together!

#rambles #gitf cw

[misscrawfords]

4, 7, 11

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Hmmmmm. If we're going for longest longest, then I have a fantasy idea from when I was about 14 set in a full fantasy world based on sort of Ancient Rome called Cavatina. The hero is an awkward nerd who ends up having to chaperone his high school nemesis, a loud mouthed girl called Claira after she accidentally gets engaged to the prince. Also there are witches and Platonic allegories. I'm pretty rubbish with plot so it's never really been fully developed, but I love the city of Cavatina and the society there and Jasper and Claira were always very fun protagonists. I don't know if I'll ever write it but it would be nice to use some elements of it in something else sometime. So no existential dread, maybe just a bit of regret. A friend and I at university tried to consider how it could be turned into a computer game (he was really into game development) and that could have been really fun but again we never pursued it.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

The first fanfic I ever published on FFNet was called Harry Potter and the Unbreakable Link and it was a seventh year completed novel length Harry/Hermione gen fic written before OotP. In it, Harry and Hermione discover they have a telepathic bond which allows them to communicate with each other mentally, pass objects between each other and augments their spell power when used together. Hermione also discovers that she is Voldemort's daughter and they have to team up together to defeat Voldemort. JJ Abrams levels of plot ridiculousness to an unexpected degree but I was 13 - what's his excuse!? It's a cool fic tbh and I'm super proud of it. I was 13-14 when I wrote it. The next gen sequel is even cooler and still honestly one of my most favourite stories I've ever come up with - if only my writing had been better to cope with the scope of what I was trying to do! I often try to think of a way to reuse the building blocks and characters in that story because I still love it so much even all these years on, but no luck so far.

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

I think how much I care about research depends on how seriously I take that fic. Is this a fic that I want to be accurate to some degree or is it not? As for what I've researched, I researched quite a few details about Edwardian Italy for Consolation Prize and in general I learned lots of stuff about the Edwardian period, WW1, post-WW1 society for writing Downton Abbey fics. One specific thing I do remember doing a deep dive for was when I was plotting first Mary and Violet's journey across Europe by train from London to Venice and then Matthew's much speedier race from Yorkshire to Naples, I did really look into timings and routes to get these as accurate as possible.

#fanfic #rose is a writer #(erstwhile writer)

[runawaymun]

Also I will admit I’ve never heard of those dollar bill thingys. And maybe this is an American thing and you all do this to each other and it’s no problem 🤷‍♀️ idk I’m not American (idk if you are either lol)

I’m sorry if I came across as harsh. I just. I would be horrified if I came home and my neighbour was messing with my mail. I’d wonder forever what else they’d done, or were will to do, because they decided to they were in the right. I can’t wrap my mind around it. Sorry.

Ok I’m going to answer all of these together in one post and just use this so you get your notif.

1. This is not mail. It’s brochures being left on people’s doorsteps. If they were being mailed to specific people then yes, it’d be messed up (and illegal) for me to snoop in people’s mailboxes and take them. But flyers aren’t mail and it’s illegal to place them in people’s mailboxes, and technically you’re not supposed to place them on a property without permission from the property owner (which these guys undoubtedly do not have. And tbh I was creeped out that they even got in my building. It’s locked behind a key-code. Someone probably left the door open bc it was summertime).

2. CW: sexual assault, abuse, child death, homophobia, transphobia: These are brochures for a harmful, deceptive hate group. I use hate group very seriously in the full sense of the word. I grew up adjacent to their beliefs and have friends that grew up in this group. Take the worst kind of transphobia you can think of, the worst kind of homophobia, the worst kind of racism and sexism, and make it even worse than that. These are people that teach parents to physically abuse their children in order to save their souls from hell and how to sneak it under officials’ noses. These are people that teach women to stay in abusive marriages because it’s a “sin” to leave. They cover up child SA (which is rampant in their organization), victim blame, and don’t allow their children to go to school, and discourage women from holding jobs. These are bookburners. They adopt children specifically to convert and abuse them and have a history of children dying in their care due to neglect or abuse. They will ruin your life, and ruin how you think about the world, and they hit every single part of the BITE model for cults (behavioral control, information control, thought control, emotion control). So no, I don’t feel the least bit bad about taking down their predatory, deceptive pamphlets off people’s doorknobs.

3. Like I appreciate where you’re coming from anon, but with respect: unless you’ve lived here I’m not sure you’ll truly understand how prevalent and malicious these cults are. We had cult missionaries on my college campus who would single out young women and prey on them for recruiting, because they knew them to be vulnerable. If this was a normal situation with any kind of normal organization leaving a normal kind of doorknocker brochure (or Mormons or JWs, even), I wouldn’t dream of taking it down and throwing it away. But these people are predatory and malicious and they cause harm and destroy lives and generate a huge amount of lasting trauma for the people they manage to ensnare. If they leave brochures out, I’m taking all of them and they’re going straight in the garbage.

#religion cw #cults

[commaclear]

IM FUCKING BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER. I WAS LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLES RESPONSES ON YOUR POLL AND SOMEONE HAS GIVEN ME INSPIRATION

So. Someone said they wished Wilbur cared a little more. There was more to the comment but that’s not important right now. Anyways, time for me to opinion all over the place

I think Wilbur does care more than we think. He just doesn’t care about what he should.

I don’t know much about him yet, but he seems to be going through that thing where he has been restricted all his life so now he’s treating life experience like Pokémon cards. It’s a classic thing a lot of kids go through and it has two usual outcomes. Either the kid never wants to venture out and will do exactly what they were taught growing up, following the lifestyle to an extreme, or they will absolutely go bat shit the second they get freedom.

Like when a kid isn’t allowed soda their entire life and when they get older they are either repulsed by the drink or start only drinking soda for a long period of time.

It also doesn’t help that Phil feels bad. Phil has sympathy because Wilbur just wants to be a normal teenager, and when he was that age that’s all he wanted. It also doesn’t help that Wilbur is very intent on getting what he wants. There isn’t a lot of wiggle room. Wilbur seems to have a general idea of how to get Phil to agree. And if he doesn’t see a pattern yet, it’s not gonna take him long to figure out what works.

Honestly, it would be beneficial if Phil cracked down in the parental way, not the “it’s your destiny” way. Wilbur needs to be prevented from whatever messy spiral he’s about to go down, but he needs to be allowed to have a life.

Right now all Wilbur really cares about is himself and that’s because this is the first time he’s allowed to. At the boarding school he was taught things he didn’t care about. He had to follow rules that forced him to adhere to a set of guidelines. He was taught that he wasn’t priority. He has been told his entire life that his destiny isn’t about him, it’s about someone else. So it’s no wonder he wants to fuck off and do what he wants.

In the initial comment that provoked this, they also said they feel like something is gonna happen to someone he loves that will force him to care

And I already see it happening. Even though he wanted to go to that house party and didn’t care about anyone else, he still had enough of a heart to remind himself that Ranboo had it worse. Maybe that’s not the best way to think about it, but at least he’s still thinking about it.

I think once he gets to know Tommy things are going to get harder for him. Because it’s going to be the battle between wanting to benefit himself or helping the person who actually needs it.

I’ll definitely have more to add on this in the future, but for now this is what I’ve got.

- The Quackity Analysis Anon

(Btw can you believe I’m defending Wilbur of all people???? I hate that guy. Haha. Yeah. I hate him. Who needs Wilbur when there’s a perfectly good Quackity, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Phil, Schlatt, Karl, Sapnap, and anyone else I missed right over there??????)

((Also I’m really getting into it tbh. I’m excited for the new chapter whenever it does come out. I was a little unsure at first but just like always you got me invested into this shit. And Quackity is now so silly and goofy and mysterious. It’s gonna make analyzing him harder. But I can’t wait to try lmao))

YES BITE ME ASKS YESSS

*ahem* anyway.....

Wilbur is 100% doing the 'teenager with his first taste of freedom' thing, and there's no way he can keep going in this direction forever. Something has to change, the only question is what...

you're both right

(and yeah why are you going for wilbur when there's a nice juicy dream right there? not to mention whatever quackity's up to rn cuz his intentions with wil are def not the purest... /hj)

#*excited noises* #ASKS FOR BITE ME WOOO #anons my beloved #bite me #quackity analysis anon

[glitterslag]

Honestly? I feel like Eddie dying is a massive waste of potential (the same way I felt with Chrissy dying tbh) and honestly it’s just a little bit repetitive now like…introduce some new character and eventually kill them all off? It’s like only characters from season one are allowed to survive…

I could've made my peace with his death if they gave him a proper send off. The guitar scene was sick don't get me wrong, but they could've shown us Steve, Mike, Robin etc reacting to his death. They could've demonstrated how his sacrifice actually helped the fight against vecna (coz imo it wasn't really clear what good it did). They could've cleared his name with the town, showed us his funeral, anything. Not that stupid 2 days later jump and then apart from Dustin have people acting like he never existed?!

Also hated that the writers seem to be clinging onto this "redemption arc" when in my opinion, he didn't do anything wrong in the first place to need to have one? Yes he was annoying at school but he was very clearly a sweet kid, why is he painted as a villain or a coward? It makes you wonder whether he wasn't written that way and then Joe quinn walks in and fucking pops off in every single scene and manages to make him so nuanced and so likeable that the original concept for his character doesn't hold up anymore 🧐🧐🧐 and mad props to him ofc!!!! I hope he did enough in the duffer bros eyes to claw his way back in for season 5 somehow, even if its just as a vision/ghost type thing!

And yeah other than that I have to say I was a bit disappointed in the lack of imaginative world building and I guess lore about the upside down and how it all works. I felt like the fan theories were so much better than what we were given. They also teased 5 big deaths and they didn't really commit to that hard enough. They should've killed off someone unexpected just to shake things up. As you said, they won't kill season 1ers coz they're scared of losing numbers it seems. But it does make things too predictable like you say, and it's also a bit cowardly of them if you ask me 🤷‍♀️

#ask #just my lil old thoughts #stranger things spoilers

[bisluthq]

Idk why no one is talking about this but So High School has “brand new, full throttle” and then The Prophecy has “hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle, oh but it’s gone again”…. Like idk I mean I think logically she’s still with Travis but I mean … if I was him I’d be soooo upset with this tbh. Like you just said I was full force and reminded you of being in high school and then like five songs later you’re saying there’s no signs of soulmates… bro. I mean maybe they’re both just hanging out and fucking around for fun…both the Travis songs aren’t too serious tbh (tho she had to put the line about marry kiss or kill me bc girlie wants a ring from ANYONE at this point). Idk I love both songs but I wonder if she’s realizing Travis is really just Mr Right Now and not Mr Right

Well the album was done a fair while ago so I would guess her Travis feelings have gotten stronger and The Prophecy was written before he was in the picture or when they were starting out. They seem in a REALLY good place rn but I also do agree that if I were Travis I wouldn’t be comfy with this album. If I were Joe, songs like the 1 - but even Maroon or Question or Midnight Rain which are more directly autobiographical - wouldn’t bother me. Like Question might bother me in hindsight with the Matty of it all but not then and there because reflecting on a thing from forever ago is normal and like natural. My bf talks to his first ever gf every month and is in contact/friends with a few ex somethings and - this was actually very sweet - his first ever CRUSH from elementary school recently sent him a picture of them as kids over socials (they obviously don’t have each other’s numbers) and he told me all about how big of a crush he had lol and how embarrassing it was and we both spoke about how she’s still so so pretty actually and that’s a very sensible crush. If he were to release writing about her that could be really cute. If he wrote a novel about his cunt of an ex wife that was heartbroken and angry and shit, I’d also be very supportive because that happened a while ago but he’s allowed to never ever be over it because she really hurt him in the worst ways. If, when we first moved in together, he had written something THIS UNHINGED about that girl he was seeing in lockdown before me AND THEN I’d found HER UNHINGED ASS FUCKING ESSAY ABOUT HIM I’m ngl I’d have peaced tf out. I’d have been like “shit um y’all enjoy each other’s company I guess” and I’d have been hurt but yeah no I couldn’t have dealt with it. Travis and Gabby are in that situation atm and like they are far far stronger soldiers than me and I thought myself very unbothered. Also I think if I’d met him right after the cunt ex wife story I also wouldn’t have stuck around lol because by his own admission every conversation became about her and she was like haunting his life lol to the point of uprooting it.

[ykintsaiwfml]

Post #4:

September 24, 2023 - 6:18pm

I've been writing in my journal more lately which I love. But I've also been really busy with school so I haven't realllyyyyyy had much time to do this. Man, this summer. I really spiraled tf out July/beginning of August. That psychic reading really fucked me up, I'm not gonna front lmfao. She said CT is my soul mate. And tbh I wasn't surprised. I feel like I've always felt that way/known that but because of all the hurt and lies attached to you I wouldn't allow myself to admit that. I don't know how I feel about it now currently in this moment in time. I While in Hawaii for my girls trip, I saw you posted another girl so you've obviously moved on. But is it forreal? You've been heavy on my mind, can you get the heck out? I need rest now. I try to keep from losing the rest of me. Still worry that I wasted the best of me on you sometimes but then I wonder if that is just my ego talking. Cause I don't think you were a waste at all. I feel like you are my one true love. You were literally my other half. We fit so well together physically, emotionally, family wise, just everythingggggggg. I might lowkey be traumatized or just not healed still. I'm working on it tho. Cause I'm sitting here thinking if I can't have you is love completely off the table? Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life? Am I too cold? Am I not nice? Is love completely off the table?

I sometimes sit here and think are we really over? Are you really moved on? Do you really not think about me like I think about you? Do you not miss me the way I miss you, miss us? I don't know, I still can only visualize my future with you. I don't see it with anyone else even with someone I caught feelings for lowkey after you. I wanted it so bad to work with them but it just kept coming back to you. I 1000000% don't regret standing my ground and holding my boundaries because dude how the fuck did you get me back just to fucking fumble me so hard again on some dumb ass shit. And then you tried to fight for me and us but why the hell did you even put yourself in a position to have to do that? When you knewwwww from the jump of us talking again that I wasn't gonna play that shit this time. And there you were playing that shit AGAIN. If you were in love with me the way you were why did you even risk losing me. AGAIN!? You had to lose me AGAIN for you to offer to get it together. To see what you would be losing. To acknowledge my worth and what I really meant to you. Like just get that shit together so we can get together. For ever. For life. For the rest of our existence. Because you know and I know that we are each other's person's. We are each other's one true love's. We are each other's end game. We are each other's soulmate's. I truly believe that and feel that in my bones, in my soul. So you can take your time. I'm gonna take mine. Heal, better yourself, become the man I know you want to be and will be. So that when we come back together when its our time, that will be it. You and me for the rest of our lives. I trust in God's divine timing. God's divine plan.

I'm actually doing really good by myself. Sometimes it gets lonely. But I know I'm never alone. I have God, my friends, my family. I am blessed. I am the luckiest girl. I am healthy. I am successful. I'm doing what's best for me and am not tolerating anything less than what I deserve.

ykintsaifml

6:38pm

[kittenzeke]

content warning: food trauma

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I remember in grade school, I picked out some blue raspberry jelly for my sandwiches because of the Looney Toons character on the jar. I ended up not liking how it tasted- especially because by the time I'd eat my sandwich, it was soggy.

It made me feel like I needed to throw up. I hated the texture and sometimes it makes me wonder if my mom was *trying* to sicken me. (Sort of like the mom in the Sixth Sense movie, only more low-key.)

Something similar happened in high school. For a while, she'd give me roast beef for my sandwiches but by the time it was lunch, other kids would complain it smelled rotten.

I remember telling my parents I wanted food that I could actually eat and they reacted poorly. My dad scoffed at me and said, "Like what? More gourmet?" after my mom told him I said the food "wasn't good enough." (I never phrased it like that myself.)

Why did my parents bully me simply for asking for food that was more nourishing and wouldn't make me sick? Why did I have to eat what they wanted and at the times they told me to?

I asked to see a doctor about my stomach and they wouldn't do that either. My dad flat out said, "We can't afford it you little bitch," and somehow he was still allowed to have custody over me....???

I have a lot less stomach issues now that I don't live with them and I can cook for myself without being hassled throughout the entire process. I like being able to eat intuitively.

I remember one morning, I ate oatmeal my mom made me and had to throw it up immediately. I didn't make myself do it. It would just happen and that was very upsetting.

It has taken me forever to have a somewhat healthy relationship with food. I'm suspicious of any food my mom brings me to help out unless it's sealed, tbh. I know it's a symptom of psychosis to think someone would poison me but yeah. I don't fully trust her.

It's pretty clear my parents didn't care about my health. Otherwise they wouldn't have got so mad at me for asking them to "cater" to me. That was their word for it. "We don't cater," they said. I just wanted to be accommodated.

No wonder my mom didn't drive me to the Academy when I could have got financial aid. My parents were too cheap to buy me a meal plan even at the public school, let alone a private one. I was starving when I first attempted University too.

I don't deal with nausea anymore, really. It makes me wonder if the chronic nausea I had in my youth was somehow their fault.

Something to do with that place was literally slowly killing me.

I just don't see why I was a bad kid for trying to get my basic needs met.

I'm glad I can dish up as much ice cream as I want without someone telling me it's too big of a portion or whatever too.

It's also nice I'm allowed to make popcorn here. I can use as much butter and cheese as I want and no one will scream about the mess.

#journal #personal #vent #CPTSD #food #trauma

[thegraveyardjohnsongrey]

June 2022

I feel so centered when i’ve had a good king shower after a workout. rip to all the ideas that never made it out of the shower 

i want to age alongside my Legacy and my Impact with Grace. i mean i’m still that person- but i am allowed now in this pint of my life to live outside of thise things and identity 

tha bar has always been so high for you. whether it’s people and impressions and posts. you’ve always been THAT btch. and so to now, not see that instantly anymore, i think you’ll always be disappointed if you keep the bat to where it used to be in an older context 

the good thing is, though, that i can make room for me to be something new 

as you get older, you realize that you can’t give everything into , and in turn, others can’t do those for you either. 

It is honestly SO weird acknowledging you have limerence. LOL 

but it’s also relieving…? considering we’ve climbed over the very high hill of acknowledging we have it. 

suddenly it all makes sense. or at least- it gives us a road map  of what we can do in the now in order to move away from it. 

shit was a rough 3 years, but if it’s taught me anything it’s that i don’t want do that again. to give my all to this to build this world that i’ve created, and not even realized it- to indulge in a dream that only poisons me and my reality - fed by my alone time 

6.25.22

+ Happy that i did all that i wanted today - which was workout, help with caden, and do some cleaning. Speaking of cleaning, i felt really nice helping clean downstairs a bit. It made me happy to hear how happy my parents were when they came down and realized they didn’t have to deal with. 

lol @ cadens “thank you tito”

i’m finding confidence in being older and being a larger contributor to the house - whether that be in going out and getting errands last minute with little to no warning ( LOL) and to just also helping out with caden for the night portion 

+ didnt get to go to calvin’s , but i got over it real quickly. (shoutout to josh for being with me as i center in the car about how life is royally screwing me over these days LOL) - but ALSO LOLLLL at mine and joshs Sex And the City jokes . also?m, i have a feeling he got me a Scarlet Wimple for my bday 

tbh the dilemma this morning was more about me having to report my and being reminded that boat day is not going as i anticipated.

it was a lot, and i’m still thankful to have friends like denni and josh as safe spaces to vent and confide in. 

it’s like —— really humbling admitting your insecurities and pains aloud, and honestly. it does wonders on your outlook on life. like - even IF you can still recognize that certain problems are still there after your venting session, it is so freeing to have expressed your pains and frustrations aloud. like i think THAT in itself frees you from that event caused you. 

anyway, still bummed that my boat day isn’t going to plan anymore - BUT! i’m still 

and #PrivelegedPerspecrive taking-wise, i am happy to be healthy and supported at a time like this. like . what a first world problem it is to whine about a Boat Day and missing days at work. like 

A) i’ll be returning to work 

B) I have my whole family to support me in this 

like i’m blessed FR FR man. and i am so happy to be able to sit on that. 

you know me/us. i just needed to feel it out and have my moment 

my favorite is spending time with caden whenever i can, not only is it helpful to us - but it just gives me a moment to slow down and appreciate the little 2 year old in front of me

2019: I guess just want prepared for that season to be over. and so quickly, without closure. I had really thought that when lock down was over, I would return to every space I had left off. I thought i would pick things up back with S, with Team Nana, with Paralegalhood/law school, goijg back to raving, and just return to being that Graddie Baddie (LOLL). 

but things changed. for everyone - and i think that was the hardest pill to swill post-lockdown. was that — life and my social circles and everything  - would cease to exist as i knew it. and while that change has brought about the best kinds of changes (I’m a Certified Paralegal & an UNCLE now!!!!) —it’s also brought me some sadness and bittersweet feelings. that life really does not stay the same. as short as it was, i’ll always look back on that era with fondness and happiness that i got to have it. even just for a moment 🤍

[of-another-broken-heart]

For the first time in... years, now? I got to soak. In water.

The little inflatable pool that mom picked up last summer, we set it up yesterday. And today I went out there in an old too-small bikini top and a $3 ultra-clearance pair of bikini briefs I got from a closing Kmart years ago.

Sat and soaked. And then rubbed so much dead skin off my legs and feet, the fragments created the illusion of ice beginning to form.

It was nice. The sun went down and it got quite a bit cooler, quickly. And the bugs got more bold. So I’ll go again tomorrow, and try to take care of the upper half of me. Maybe even my scalp.

For all the rest of my days, I will never shut up about how access to a bath tub is necessary to general human wellness.

It is summer. There are bugs. We still have bedbugs and I suppose the heat combined with us all wearing skimpier clothes - therefor making their meals more available - has them being a much bigger problem than most of the rest of the past year. I don’t think we have any more pesticide for them. I don’t know how well I’ll be able to handle the fumes any more tbh. You’re not supposed to stick around once you spray. But it’s not like I have anywhere else I can go.

It’s almost 4 AM. I should be trying to sleep. I’m relieved about getting to soak in water. I’m happy about it. I’m sad about it, too. November. November was the last time I was able to “clean” myself. That was my last shower. I’ve been making due with washing my face in the sink, sometimes my arms, sometimes my chest - but then the sink stopped draining. So even washing my face took too long, so the best I could manage were a few splashes before the sink would start filling with undraining water. I hate that it took so long for me to have the ability to do the most fucking basic personal hygiene. The sink still isn’t fixed. We have a quote that it’ll be fixed - and it’ll take days. Days where none of us will have a sink, toilet, or shower. My mom asked the landlords if we’d be allowed to use the bathroom in one of the other buildings. We didn’t get an answer.

The news about the space telescope, that’s been like a waking dream a little. I fucking love space. I want to learn more about space. I know so many weird disjointed little tidbits of space trivia. Names of specific galaxies, terminology for certain celestial bodies. I don’t always remember what the definitions or origins are. I feel like I don’t have the time or luxury or liberty to invest the time I want in learning more. I feel like I’ll just keep forgetting. I feel like I’ll just get distracted and dissociate and my brain will simply flush everything out, under the sea of stress and trauma that is... everything else.

I still love him. Every day, he’s on my mind. I wonder, I worry, I wish. The dreams are less frequent. With him, anyway. But they still happen. All those threads of possibility, all those delectable reality-adjacent futures, all that marvelous, miraculous, fantastical mundanity. But the recurring dreams (nightmares) of being in high school, and college, and having friends, and being around people, and hanging out, and having a schedule, and taking care of each other - those are a bit more frequent. Nightmares, because those days are lost, and reliving them nearly nightly is a recipe for fresh trauma and mourning on waking. Over, and over.

I hate sleeping. And I physically have to, 10-16 hours most days. If I don’t, then it racks up. Sleep debt calls to cash in early and often, and then I lose just about a whole day. If not to sleep, then to dissociation. Dead battery.

I read posts about “people are having to [x] to plan for the next few years” and I just. I can’t fathom it. We’re still here, I’m still trapped in this basement, we are still under the constant threat of possible eviction with nowhere to go if it happens. Everything is a day-to-day struggle to stay alive, to hope we still have purely basic human needs met. And people are. Planning. Vacations. Trips. Nonsensical frivolous bullshit. And the pandemic is still here. Variant after variant, gleefully crafted in enthusiastic deniers and inconsiderate selfish soulless assholes. Mass disabling amidst mass denial. I hate it. I hate it so much. I’m so sick of being violently reminded of how little people actually care, of how quick people are to lie, to swear they care, then act in ways that prove they absolutely do not. I’m sick of it.

I don’t know what to do with myself right now. It’s kinda too warm to get to sleep. My brain is a hive of hornets.

There are good things. There are. There’s just so, so many more bad things.

#personal #love is a curse

[folkloreguk]

💌🧸 Brother's Best Friend

A/N: Got this request a while ago and now I'm wondering why I've never written this trope before bc this was so fun??? Lmk how you liked it! x

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), smut, size/strength kink??, choking, dom!bias (it’s kinda playful tho), brother's best friend!au, sneaking around, play fighting, lowkey getting caught but not directly?

words: ~ 4.1 k

disclaimer: I don’t mean for the age gap to be gigantic…I’m talking about anything from 1-2 years maximum tbh!!! Anything else would be weird and I’m not about that! They’re also both obviously consenting adults!

[H/N means 'his (bias) name']

In youreyes, your first meeting had been a disaster. The new spider man movie had been released only days ago, and you were adamant on seeing it. And to your luck, your older brother and his best friend had already made plans to watch it together. As a little sister, you were treated like the baby of the family, and it didn’t matter that you were far from being an infant anymore. So naturally, your brother had been condemned by your parents to bring you along. He declared his distaste in your presence by attempting to ignore you, but you were used to that. Just like you were aware of his bad moods, you knew he could change within minutes and magically turn into the sweetest, most caring big brother you could wish for.

Whatever. You didn’t need his approval to enjoy the trip to the movie theater, you told yourself. Had it not been for his best friend, who you hadn’t seen in ages. H/N and you had never properly spoken before, and the last time you saw him he had been an awkward, prepubescent boy who had appeared at your door to pick up your brother for a playdate. There was no trace of immaturity now. Instead, it was you who had morphed into an awkward, shy mess at the sight of him.

His ‘hello’ had a warm and deep melody to it which swooped you up in his aura so suddenly, you had no time to prepare. Had his smile always been this stupidly charming? Hell, it was so bright, you had to meticulously inspect the ground every time he sent a grin your way. When before you hadn’t felt guilty for being a bother, you now sure did. What impression would you leave, trailing behind the older boys like a lost puppy? What would he take you for? The annoying little sister who didn’t have friends of her own? The mood-killer, who wouldn’t understand any of the boys’ inside jokes? The anti-social, weird girl who was obsessed with fictional men, like people loved to belittle teenage girls with normal interests?

As things turned out, his initial opinion of you was quite the opposite. If only you could have spied into his brain, it would have saved you a landslide of worry. Although your brother took up all of H/N’s attention before the movie started, he noticed you a good amount. To be precise, you blew him away at first sight. Your cute laugh won him over in a matter of seconds and he liked that your merch sweater could have been stolen straight out of his own closet. He didn’t want to feel too smug, but the way you diverted your eyes away from him whenever he looked in your direction only boosted his confidence further.

Your brother might have warned him. Stay away from her. She’s off limits for you. But not a thousand vicious, older brothers could have kept him from trying to get to you. It was up to you, after all, whether you wanted him around or not, and not to your brother. From that day on, H/N didn’t skip out on a chance to see you, even if it meant merely an exchange of a few words, or a simple greeting. And to his luck, you turned out to be equally as enraptured by him.

There was something about the untouchable, the forbidden, that attracted him to you even more. Plus, you were simply too precious to forget about. One morning, you dropped off a beanie at his place, which he had left at your house after meeting with your big brother the previous day. When he had asked if he could drive you to school as a thank you, you happily accepted. You had marked that day as the first day of your new life. First, it was harmless flirting. To be honest, you were under the impression he was merely messing with you. Because you were the cute little sister of his best friend. Because you would turn into an awkward shell of a person who had lost all ability to articulate, and your cheeks would burn as if they were on fire, whenever he charmed you.

But the flirting slowly reached newer levels, and before you knew it you were discussing your sexual fantasies over text messages and giving him bedroom eyes as you opened the front door for him. “H/N’s here!” you would then shout to your big brother. Then you would watch the two boys walk off to your brother’s room, pondering why life had to be this way for you. It wasn’t fair. Siblings were supposed to share, right? Why did you have to wait your turn until after midnight, when no one would notice, to spend time with H/N?

But to H/N, the sneaking around in the middle of the night and the secret messages you sent to each other, it all added to the excitement. Surely, there were days on which he wished he could just break the truth to your brother. The impact it could have on their friendship was enough intimidation for him to refrain, though. Things were better off this way, for now.

Today was no exception to your usual lies. When your brother asked if you would go out with him to do some shopping, you had played the victim and feigned a stomachache. Your parents wouldn’t be home all weekend. You’d have been stupid to waste a perfect opportunity like that. Who knew when you could have H/N in your bed the next time? Normally, you were restricted to his car, or to his bed in the dark of night. Yes, those places had something enticing at first glance. But the backseat of a car was only enjoyable for so many clandestine meetings. So today you notified him of your golden opportunity before your brother had even walked out the door.

The moment H/N texted you that he was outside your home, you opened the front door and dragged him to your room.

“Are you in control today, little one?” he asked, closing the bedroom door after you.

“Why are you asking that?” you replied, not wanting to talk at all but rather do so much more productive things.

“I don’t know…perhaps because you haven’t let me say a word since I came through the door,” he said.

“Right. Maybe I’m planning on tying you up, blindfolding you, and torturing you with ice and wax,” you joked in a casual tone, despite not usually requesting such graphic ideas.

“I don’t know if I’d let you do that,” he grinned with raised eyebrows. “Besides, I know you’d rather be at the receiving end of that. It’s a sweet idea, though. If we had some more time…”

“Think you could get away from me if I tied you up?” you said, but he was towering over you with the calmness of a king who knew he reigned over the situation.

“We both know I’m stronger than you, doll,” he said. You didn’t like it when boys called you weak. But you’d let it slide, knowing he was only joking and would never underestimate you outside of the bedroom. He put his lips right up to yours, so you felt his breath on them. His fingers came up to cup your face, but then slowly inched to your neck. When they closed around your neck, putting the slightest amount of pressure on your skin, you whimpered quietly.

“Need reminding?” he asked. As much pent-up frustration you had, and as much as your stomach was flipping upside down from how badly you needed him, you just had to play with him. You knew it would make for more fun.

“I think- “ you started, with a grin. Then you grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him backwards, until he was stumbling. Although caught off guard, he was quick to pull you along with him as he fell onto your bed. You landed on top of him with a small squeal.

“Go on, let’s see who can throw the other off the bed first,” he teased with a superiority that only spurred you on. Then again, you would always be in the mood for the oldest childhood game you had ever known. Only now it wasn’t your brother, but his best friend you were playing against. It added a layer of excitement, and after only seconds, giggles had overtaken you as you struggled in his grip.

“No tickling is allowed,” you said. He nodded obediently with a smirk that told you he might not abide by your rules.

At first, you had attempted to hold him down by his arms. But your legs tangled, and he pushed his chest up against yours, like he was about to flip you over. Your plan seemed to be working only momentarily. You groaned a little as he grabbed your wrists swiftly and held his stance against your attempt to pull his upper body to the side.

“Cute,” he said. That’s when you realized, he was barely struggling, barely trying, even. While you were giving your most, he smirked like he was watching a kitten trying to fight a lion. It was child’s play to him, keeping you in check. Literally. With an annoying expression of amusement on his face, he let you have the upper hand for a while. Then, as if you had never had an ounce of advantage, he turned it around and pulled you into him. His eyes suggested he might just send you tumbling down onto the floor any moment now. Nonetheless, you weren’t going to give up so easily. Taking your chances, you let go of his arms and moved sideways, so you could have your go at pushing him towards the edge of the mattress.

“I don’t think so,” he said. Suddenly, he bear-hugged your body and rolled you both over. Before you could protest or defend yourself, your arm was dangling off the side of your bed and if you had moved a tiny bit further, you would have slid off the bedsheets and right onto your carpet. It was his turn to straddle you now. As if his actions hadn’t been enough declarations of his strength, he pinned your wrists to the bed above your head and gave you a challenging smirk.

“I was going to let you win, doll. But you weren’t trying hard enough,” he said. “What are you going to do about it?”

What were you going to do? He had you completely immobilized. “Just let it go, then. We get it, you’re super strong and super big and the coolest,” you said.

He seemed to take an instant liking to your declaration. “Say it again. This time minus the eye-rolling, sugar.”

“You’re stronger than me,” you said, trying to avoid the laughter that was threatening to come out. Could he read in your gaze how badly you wanted him to kiss you already? If he could, he wasn’t acting on it. Instead, he bent to the crook of your neck and spoke.

“Does it turn you on that I can overpower you?” his breath fanned your ear and you had to close your eyes to control yourself.

“Yes. Because I trust you,” you answered truthfully. The corner of his lips curled into a cocky grin.

“You know what? I think I’d rather you stay in bed with me instead of throwing you on the floor. There’s so many things we can do up here, isn’t that right, little one?” His lips brushed over your cheek and then over your lips as he spoke. The nickname had always made you weak in the knees and he knew it. When he finally enveloped your lips in a kiss, you swore you could feel an electric spark jump between the two of you. The mellowness of it turned into hunger rapidly, and as soon as his tongue flicked over your bottom lip, you whimpered like you hadn’t seen him in a year.

“Needy, are we?” he asked, running his hand up your sides and underneath your shirt. He could say that again. “Let’s get these off, then.”

The seconds in which you pulled off your clothes and couldn’t hang on his lips and feel his skin on your body should have been considered a form of torture in itself. Then, time always went by so much slower than usually.

When you had both shed off your clothes, he climbed back on top of you. Instead of straddling your hips he was now resting between your legs. There was nothing separating you from him, and it was apparent not only through the body heat that radiated off him. He reached down and whilst peppering kisses on your chest, slid his fingers through your slick arousal that was pooling in your core.

“You’re so wet,” he said in surprise, but couldn’t hide his approval and self-confidence in his voice.

“I know,” you said, rolling your eyes but simultaneously fighting the urge to moan at the smallest of touches he was teasing your with. “I’m so horny. Can’t we skip foreplay?”

“Poor doll,” he said. “I should’ve come over earlier, huh?”

“You know that wasn’t possible,” you said. With a desperate look, you pleaded him silently.

“I wanna taste you,” he said, but your put your hand on his cheek softly.

“Maybe later?” you said. “Please, I need to have you inside of me. Now.”

“You’re extra cute when you’re this needy,” he smiled. “Are there still condoms in your nightstand?”

You nodded and had never moved so fast to open a drawer in your life. Pretending to have any patience left, you waited for him to roll on the rubber.

“I love the way you look at me,” he said. “When you’re waiting for me. Could watch you for hours.”

“God, I hope you won’t. Come here, please?” you replied, making him chuckle. He lined himself up with your core, but then made no inclination to move ahead. His dark eyes and little head tilt told you everything.

“Don’t mess with me anymore,” you whined, reaching for the back of his neck to pull him closer. “Do it. H/N.”

“Beg for it.” His words twisted something in the pit of your stomach. Although you were burning with hunger, you could never say no to him. Then again, you were curious to see what would happen if you did.

“What if I don’t? Don’t you want to fuck me as much as I want it?” you challenged him. Something glinted in his eyes, and you knew you shouldn’t have even brought it up.

“I can always do this,” he said, and you followed his eyes down his body and to where he had wrapped his hand around his cock. Slowly, he jerked himself off, and you weren’t sure he was biting his lip because of the feeling or to discompose you. His small sigh should’ve been caused by you. This wasn’t what you had wanted. His tip was right by your slit. He could’ve pushed his length in so easily, and yet he wasn’t. Debating what to say, you kept your eyes trained on his hard member that looked so delicious in his hands. His deep groans rang in your ears. It didn’t take long for you to cave.

“Fuck. That should be me around you,” you said. “That should be my pussy you’re fucking and not your hands. Please.”

“Isn’t that right?” he said.

“Yes. Please, fuck me. I would feel so much better than your hands, and you know it. Please,” you whined. “I need you right now H/N. Please.”

You added another ‘please’ – for good measure – because the way his tongue darted out and licked his smirking lips could make you say anything if it would get him to fuck you.

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you,” he said. “Think you can take me?”

“Yes, yes-, I can! Please, fuck me,” you said in a waterfall of words, and he chuckled handsomely.

“Good girl,” he said, running a gentle hand over your head. “If it’s too much you let me know.”

“As always.”

The tip of his cock gently pushed into your core, making you hold your breath as he entered you slowly. It caused you to feel every inch with every second. Your brain felt fuzzy, and you sighed gratefully at the relief.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” he moaned. The carefulness in his thrusts paired with his moon eyes at you only remained that way for a few seconds. Then, he straightened up and grabbed your hips to drag you in closer. You moaned helplessly when he almost pulled out completely, so slowly it almost made you crazy, only to slam his length into you until his tip brushed against the deepest spot inside of you. It was an action he repeated over and over, until you were reduced to a puddle of desperate whimpers, and you clasped the bedsheets in your hands tightly.

“You like it this way, little one?” he asked. He was apparently finding enjoyment in your reaction. How you could barely keep your eyes open, and when you did, your eyeballs threatened to roll to the back of your head. How your fingers clenched around the closest plushie, and you cradled it against your chest in bliss.

“Yes- fuck,” you said. “Feels so good.”

Of course, right as you said this, he had to change things up. His thrusts turned lazy and messy as he leaned backwards slightly. With an equally lazy demeanor, his thumb flicked over your clit, rubbing circles on it.

“Let me hear you. Say my name,” he said, and you quietly moaned his name. You adored the way it sounded, voiced like this, with barely more than a breath underneath your soft tone. Now and then, his cock slipped out of you, making you clench around nothing and furthermore had you going completely out of your mind. When he would push himself into your opening again, it felt as if it was the first time he was entering you today. Except you felt it repeatedly, each time as incredible as the previous. Your mouth hung open, rendered speechless except for the little moans and whimpers sounding from your throat. There was a familiar knot beginning to form in your stomach, tying firmer with each passing minute.

As if he could read your mind, he decided then he was done with his sweet torture of teasing you to an orgasm. You couldn’t be mad at him, though, because what he had planned was just as perfect, if not better. His hands wandered to their original place on your sides, and he began to snap his hips into yours at a faster pace. A small cry of surprise left your lips, while he only smirked at you through heavy-lidded eyes. Impulsively, you lifted your legs a little, intensifying the feeling of his member roughly dragging through your velvet walls.

“H/N, I’m so close,” you whimpered.

“Me too,” he replied, not slowing down for a second.

His broad frame towering over your body was a sight you would never get enough of and his gazes at you were hot enough that they could have stopped your heart in its tracks. A few strands of hair stuck to his forehead and there was a thin sheet of sweat on his neck. It all just made him more breathtaking to you. The slight pain from his nails digging into the skin on your waist was staggering, and you could barely wait to see the masterpiece of marks he would leave tonight.

You were a moaning mess, flying on cloud nine and simultaneously overwhelmed by his treatment of you. It clouded your mind at took over your whole body like you were made for him to fuck you. His length filled up your tight hole and he did it with such force that your whole body rocked into your mattress in a steady, fast-paced rhythm. He let go of your waist then and supported himself on his arm by the side of your head. When his other hand went to your neck you shuddered in anticipation.

“You should see yourself with my hand around your throat,” he said. “So pretty, little one.”

“We can do it in front of a mirror sometime- ,” you suggested, but were cut off at the end of the sentence as his fingers tightened on your neck. Instantly, the effect of it hit you. The lack of oxygen made your head swim in a sea of pleasure and the unrelenting desire to come. Through fluttering eyelids, you peeked up at him. The way he licked his lips and then clenched his jaw, the gorgeous shape of his collarbones and shoulders – you sometimes wondered if he was even real. Every so often he loosened his grip on you. When he did, you took gulps of air and then instantly whined for him to choke you again.

“Let go for me,” he said. “Show me your pretty face when I make you come. I’m fucking you well, aren’t I?”

You nodded as well as you could when he was gripping your throat and you couldn’t breathe properly at the moment. It didn’t matter you couldn’t talk. He was probably not expecting you to answer, either way. In a pleasure-induced trance, you closed your eyes and let it happen, like he had asked it from you. Your hazy consciousness barely registered that he was reaching his high with you. Too overcome were you, with your thighs trembling uncontrollably and your back arching off the mattress. He had let go of your neck and was riding out his own orgasm with sloppy thrusts that only sent you into another frenzy and had you whimpering his name softly. When he had finished too, he slowed down and pulled you into a gentle kiss, rubbing his nose against yours sweetly.

“That was amazing,” he said, and with a blissful hum you nodded. Your lips changed into a pout when he rolled off you and got up. You were tired of sending him back home so quickly. As he discarded the condom in the bin, you put on your most enchanting eyes, so he would have no other choice.

“Stay a little longer, please,” you asked. You knew he wanted to, as well. So although he was aware that your brother could return at any moment, he tumbled back into bed with you.

“Just for a little while,” he said. “Mhm…you’re so perfect to cuddle, baby.” His embrace was warm and his scent comforting, as he hummed a lovely melody. The soft touch of his fingers running through your hair lulled you right into a light sleep. You were awoken rather abruptly, and with half a heart attack.

“Hey Y/N, have you seen my charger- “ your brother’s voice suddenly broke through the silence and you wondered if you would have to pack up and leave the country after this sort of embarrassment.

“It’s not what it looks like,” you said, knowing well enough it was the dumbest thing you could have said. But who could blame you? You had only woken up two seconds ago.

“Really?” your brother asked. “Because I hear H/N sneak into our house so often lately, I’m starting to wonder if his parents threw him out.”

His tone was surprisingly calm.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you,” H/N said to your brother. “I thought you’d hate me and that we’d be over as friends.”

“I know I told you once to leave Y/N alone. But now…I guess it’s cool. She’s been in a great mood lately, and if that’s thanks to you, I think I can approve of you two. Although I’m not looking forward to being a third wheel, I think I can get used to it if I try hard enough,” your brother said. You couldn’t believe your ears, and involuntarily smiled like a fool. No more hiding. No more secrets.

“I stole your charger. I’m sorry,” you said then, making your brother roll his eyes. “It’s by the sofa in the living room.”

“Great. I needed a reason to leave anyway,” your brother said. “I might approve of you, but this situation is still too awkward. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, H/N?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” the boy in your bed said.

“You’ll see me too!” you added as a joke, as your brother already walked away from the door.

“Unfortunately I will!” your brother shouted, with the unnerving tone only a big brother could possibly muster.

#optional bias #optional bias smut #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpoptopia #prism.nw #exo smut #txt smut #day6 smut #cravity smut #ateez smut #nct smut #stray kids smut #bts smut #the boyz smut #sf9 smut #btob smut #got7 smut #ikon smut #oneus smut #onewe smut #seventeen smut #a.c.e smut #n.flying smut #monsta x smut #pentagon smut #enhypen smut

[sukirichi]

fall from grace

“If you were in love,” he began, voice barely above a whisper, “What would be the most beautiful thing those lips of yours would utter?”

“Your name.”

REQUEST/WARNINGS. (royal au, mutual pining, praise kink ) fake dating au, mirror sex, slight manhandling, fingering, body marking, prejudice, mentions of abuse, injustice, and inequality + unedited (I’m so lazy to edit tbh, I’m so sorry, just bear with me if there are typos or grammatical errors)

NOTES. I LOVE AND HATE THIS STORY

WC. 7k+

SONG INSPO. Ashes (Celine Dion)

The prince himself lifted his chin up higher; long, slender fingers deftly grazing against the pad of your knuckles that were pressed on his chest. 

The tips of your ears burned at the sight of people pausing from their conversations all to witness the scene – one that was so rare to have come from the infamous Crown Prince known to have bedded more women than he could count.

“Your Highness,” you pinched your brows together, leaning closer into him to bring you the least bit of comfort. The dress you had to wear today had nothing but itchy lace; albeit elegant, you preferred the loose materials of your dance clothes, painted red lips fighting back a grimace. “Must we really do this in public?”

The Crown Prince laughs, his white hair fluttering against the soft kisses of the wind. Beautiful, you think, beautiful, you are reminded, prompting you to dig your free hand deeper into the flesh of your thighs.

“What would be the point of our ruse if we are not a little flashy, My Lady?”

You frowned at his words, head ducked down as you avoided everyone’s prying eyes. You supposed you should be used to this – you are a performer, after all – but the attention was terribly unwelcomed yet expected from your previous agreements.

The said agreement, however, did not affect your standing as a person, something you had to remind the happy-go-lucky Prince. “I am not of that title.”

“People regard you of it,” he commented at an off-beat, his crystalline eyes sweeping over the crowd with a chilling command, a slight bite of a challenge that asked his people to dare him. When they shifted away, scurrying behind fluffed up skirts and pressed down suits, the Crown Prince snickered, smiling down at you with a flash of his pearly whites. “You are, after all, hanging prettily off my arm.”

“Because you asked me to, Your Highness.”

“Ah, are you forgetting already?” he paused, his long and elegant stature towering over yours. ���I’m doing this for the both of us. The agreement was clear – you steered me away from my arranged marriage, redeem my nettling reputation, and in turn, I shall pick you up from where you’ve fallen,” your lips parted in protest, finger raised to correct that no, you had not fallen, that was not the situation at all, but he silenced you when he leaned down close enough that his eyes twinkled before you, lips turned at the side arrogantly. “In fact, I am more than capable of providing you more than that.”

“I am well aware of that, Your Highness. I truly am indebted to you.”

Should you be humiliated? Forming an agreement with the Crown Prince would be the last thing that would ever arrive even in your craziest dreams, yet there you were, in the middle of the town square, leisurely strolling with the Kingdom’s heir as if it was but a daily occurrence.

Thoughts running back to your latest predicament – which he just had to bear witness to – you winced, swallowing the resigned sigh that threatened to spill.

You did not have enough shame in you to be humiliated, not when he was right. It was a mutually beneficial agreement.

“You do not have to be,” Prince Satoru blinked at you, gray lashes fluttered against the pads of his cheeks. “I take extreme pleasure in saving a damsel in distress,” Your lips puckered out, tireless with the need to tell him it wasn’t like that, and the Prince easily read through you, tugging you back into his arm as he laughed. “Even when I know you are not. Still, it does feel nice to take a walk in this fine day, don’t you think?”

You snorted at the heavy sarcasm under his sweet tone, “It feels a little embarrassing.”

“You feel embarrassed that you’re with me?”

“Yes,” you gritted at your teeth, the lace of your gloves digging into your flesh. You wanted nothing more than to rip it off, the material a silent reminder of the requirement that must be met to fool the crowd. “You’re a prince and I am—”

“I thought we already established titles mean nothing when we both mutually benefit from one another,” he cut you off, hands coming up to caress at your cheeks. You immediately froze at his touch, the iciness behind those eyes doing nothing to soothe you until he spoke, the Prince’s words oddly gentle and warm like the sun that shone down on you that fine day. “Worry not about that. I do not care what people think of you. All I care is that you do well and I shall do my part gracefully in return,” he declared for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

Back then, you never believed that people had power just because they were born with it. Power had to be manifested, trained, earned – yet Prince Satoru wielded it with his lips so effortlessly that in that moment, you believed magic really wasn’t a myth.

“Kiss me.”

“Wh-what?”

“Everyone is looking,” his eyes darted over the on looking crowd, his bare hand still caressing your warm cheeks, hot enough that it put the sun to shame. “Lest you want this plan to fail, I suggest you kiss me, darling. Passionately.”

The Crown Prince was right. Everyone was looking.

Your body’s response was instantaneous. A hiss of a breath, muscles tensed and fingers curled into a fist at your side; you could feel bile rising from your throat out of panic.

Then Prince Satoru leaned forwards, eyes snapped shut and his lips colliding with yours. The single touch had all the tension flooding away as you kissed the Prince, his lips tasting of cinnamon and sugar, vanilla and spice wafting off of him delicately that you had to fist at the collar of his shirt to prevent yourself from gobbling him up whole.

He would find that rather displeasing, claiming that you had little to no table manners, so you forced yourself to relax as he breathed air into your mouth, large hands cradled around your neck.

“I’ve got you,” he mumbled between kisses, the mere scent of royalty and forbidden elegance dripping off of him making you fearful to open your eyes. It felt illegal to touch the most wanted bachelor in your Kingdom this way, felt wrong to have his hands roaming down the slopes of your body while everyone looked at your shameless public display of faux romance. But if it was wrong, then why did he hold you so tenderly, not moving to push you away even as you nipped at his lips once more?

“You’re alright – I’ve got you.”

It was not easy being a no-name ballerina. You’ve crafted your skill for what seemed like your whole life, yet getting even a step closer to your dreams proved to be a daunting task. Even as your toes bruised and your muscles ached, pants heaved from your chest while you bended your body at will, you couldn’t stop thinking about how no one told you it was never easy to reach your dreams.

The fairytales had lied to you. They made it seem to easy to grab a star, never really explaining on how to be a star.

It felt so far away – the galaxy and universe you’d longer your entire life to be a part of – yet the Crown Prince stood at the corner of your studio, eyes dark as he watched you sway to the music.

A few weeks prior to your spontaneous arrangement, you were foolish enough to believe you could become that star easily. You were the lowest of ranks when it came to other girls; orphaned, no-named, broke, and loveless. 

Unlike your peers that were bred of the finest titles and fed with silver spoons, nannies and courts running after them in their growing years, you had to survive on scraps, taking three jobs at the young age of thirteen just to get into dance school and afford the fees.

You believed title or ranking shouldn’t have had to do anything with talent and worth, but then again, you were foolish beyond your years.

The moment you heard you were chosen to be the Black Swan of this season, allowing you to debut, you squealed behind your skirt, training day and night to the point you’ve skipped your meals just to perfect your routine.

That was until your classmates’ parents had come inside the school, twirling their moustaches behind soft fingers that had never known a day’s worth of work, belly round with cupcakes and all the delicacies only they were privileged enough to eat, the nervous laughter of your ballet master enough to let you know what it all meant.

Your classmate – the prettiest and the richest one – came rushing past you as she giggled over the announcement that she would be the Black Swan.

She was far many years younger than you, spoiled and with an attitude that tasted as bad as your leftovers, and definitely not skilled enough to debut – but of course, nothing was ever impossible enough with money, right? Before you could even defend yourself, your ballet master had cleaned out your quarters, your skirts and shoes thrown onto the muddy dirt while you cried under the rain, begging for another chance.

Second chances? You wanted to laugh.

Only people who did wrong should ask for it, and yet you sat there on your knees, hands clasped in a prayer that should only be reserved for wish bearers, desperate pleads of please don’t do this to me echoing into the empty night.

Was it fate then that the Crown Prince was half drunk inside his vehicle, shades slipping off his nose as he turned your way, your cries rudely interrupting the music blaring inside his car?

Perhaps it was – a cruel or a wonderful fate; no one could tell – the only thing that mattered now was that the Crown Prince had yet again found interest in a woman.

Only this time he didn’t lust after their body, wished nothing to do with their hands on his, completely sober around your presence as he watched you train endlessly in your studio, your sweat making your clothes stick like a second skin.

Prince Satoru leaned back against the walls then.

He should’ve brought a drink with him. Had he known that watching you dance sensually with such a blissed out expression he was mostly familiar with when he had his legs wrapped around another warm body would set his body alight, sober, then he would’ve left long ago.

Still, the Prince is rendered frozen at the edge, eyes trailing over your graceful form as you bended, legs flying out into the air while you arms dipped and curved into the most graceful of arcs and bows that put his combat figures into shame.

You weren’t even trying to seduce him and yet he was wholly captivated.

He wants to say that the woman he saw that rainy night and the woman stood before him now, figure bathed in the small slivers of sunlight that peeked through the blinds and stockings hugging each and every curve and dip of your body were entirely two different people, but the longer he looked, there was no mistaking it was still the same person. The passion burned through your eyes, the soft melodious tunes of the music guiding you – or rather you guiding the beat before you fluttered to another.

Prince Satoru smiled.

It first came off as a joke that he wanted to know more about you – his pretend lover – because everyone knew the Crown Prince was too frivolous to ever settle down and find interest in a woman beyond her looks. The confused pout you gave him as he followed you inside your studio burned at the back of his brain, a silent warning that you were different; that you were not someone he could touch lest he wished to burn and break you, though that would be a lie, it seemed.

For every strong ripple of your muscles and flowy movement of your body as you completely delved into the space of your own home and comfort, the Prince knew – you were not someone he could crush into the palm of his hands.

He came here out of boredom.

He left the studio with a confused heart, cheeks resting on his palm as he asked his chauffer, when is the next show?

The birds chirped above you, your fingers stretched out as you peeked from under it, lips pressed into a flat line. You were in the royal garden after persistent invitation from the Crown Prince himself. Speaking of, said Crown Prince had his limbs sprawled out beneath you, the edges of his hands slightly playing with the frills of your dress as he took his afternoon nap, a youthful smile on his face.

“Your Highness,” you huffed out, “What are we doing here? No one is looking. There is no need for us to continue our act.”

“I know,” he cheered a little too brightly for someone that looked to be deep in dreamland, “I just wanted to hang out with you without worrying about others. Not that I ever did, but it’s nice to be alone with you every once in a while. The prying eyes can get a bit too much.”

You hummed at the thought; he did have a point. This arrangement turned out to be a lot smoother than expected. The Crown Prince wasn’t lying about his intentions and not once had he laid a hand on you – without your permission, anyway – and he turned out to be…a lot more docile and easy going than what you originally thought of him. Not that you had much thoughts to begin with anyway, the Prince was a celebrity and therefore not someone that concerned you.

In your mind, he was merely your leader, more often than a not a name spoken between hushed whispers and dreamy moans.

This side of him was different, and all the time you’d spent him with was filled with nothing but ridiculed stares and taunts. The Crown Prince was a hilarious man who never feared trying out new things, always happy and eager to try exotic foods with you in the night markets or joining you in your spontaneous dancing during midnight ‘dates.’

He was the closest you could consider as a friend, and you relaxed against him, laying down on the flowery fields right next to him as you sighed in content. “I will miss this, Your Highness.”

“Miss what?”

“You and I – hanging out,” you mumbled a little dreamily, “I have a strong feeling things will finally get better for me. When I get scouted by a better company, I won’t be able to hang out with you anymore,” Silence befell the both upon you, the rustling of the wind against the flowers sounding like a far off memory. Soon, it would be. “I will miss this.”

“You could always call me. Or who knows, maybe I’d even drop by to watch your performances sometime.”

You snapped your eyes open, chuckling when the Prince had now sat up halfway, his regal face cradled in his hands while his elbow laid flat under him. He blinked innocently at you, and that’s when you realized – he was serious. That had you bursting into laughter, hands clutched at your stomach. “Please, you? You do not even enjoy ballerina!”

“I enjoy watching you,” he confessed in a heartbeat, his gaze falling from your crinkled eyes and all the way down to the silhouette of your body. “There’s something about the way you move that’s just so graceful and...phenomenal.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his heated gaze, the mere trails of his sight enough to warm your entire skin despite the cool wind. This was the Prince concerned though, and you had to guard your heart, eyes narrowed playfully at him while you desperately ignored the need to rub your thighs together.

“Are you flirting with me, Your Highness?”

The Prince snorted, “Flirt with you? My pretend girlfriend?” he clutched a hand at his chest as if the assumption offended him, “What makes you come to that conclusion?”

You chucked your handkerchief at him, still a little in disbelief that you were greeted by his laughter when it hit him right in the face.

You would miss this indeed.

Your gaze softened as you sat up, thighs pressed to your chest as you directed your gaze up in the sky. Prince Satoru may not always be around when the time came, but at least you still had the sky to remind you of this brazen and unexpected friendship that helped you grow.

“Thank you, though,” you squished your cheeks onto your knees, a lilted smile plastered on your face. “Dancing has always been a passion of mine. I can’t ever imagine a time of my life where I wasn’t moving with music. It almost feels as if I was destined with it; it speaks to me and deeper than the recesses of my bones, guides me until I’m one and entangled with it,” you ended with a dreamy sigh, turning your head to the side to look His Highness in the eye, stilling for a moment when you’re met with his solemn gaze.

Your throat parched dry. “Have you ever fallen in love with something like that before?”

“I don’t think so,” one of his shoulders lifted up in a lame shrug, voice turning deep and husky as he asked, “How do you know when you lack something or not?”

“If it comes to love...” you tapped your chin with a finger, “I think a life lived without one would feel quite empty. Hollow, I would say, and the skies would just be a plain blue instead of a calming yet mesmerizing one,” the courage that soared within you was an unexpected one, but it was enough to let you look him in the eye, form vulnerable and words slipping past your lips before you could control them. “If I were incapable of love, I’d say your eyes are nothing but gleams of sapphire.”

“And if you were capable of it? What would my eyes be?”

“Like cerulean galaxies crashing against one another,” you whispered, “Stardust sprinkled and heavens birthed out of passion and the desire to be something more. You’d be azure and brazen instead of crestfallen; the magnificence of the universe’s creation attesting to itself that it is wholly capable of designing divine beings.”

“Hmm,” he tipped his head to the side as he mulled over your words. His jacket was discarded somewhere along the grass, top three buttons of his shirt left opened and hair rustling with the wind. Beautiful, the image etched into your skin. “Are you sure you are a dancer and not a poet?”

“People say all sorts of beautiful things when they’re in love.”

The Prince straightened up, lips pursed. For a moment, you grew fearful, your heart frantically thumping in your chest as you thought, this is it – this is when he pushes you away. He does nothing of this as he scoots closer to you, using his rough thumb to tilt your chin until you were looking up at him, wide eyes sparkling – the sight of you vulnerable like this making the Crown Prince lick his lips.

“If you were in love,” he began, voice barely above a whisper, “What would be the most beautiful thing those lips of yours would utter?” You shivered as his thumb moved up to graze at your bottom lip, almost prompting it to jut out, to which you happily complied with a shaky breath. “What would you say then?”

“Your name.”

The Prince smiled to himself at your hearty answer. To hide both of your nervous chuckles, the Prince took it upon himself to ease both your worries as he kissed you, nothing but the warmth and fluttering of butterflies rampaging in your stomach mixing at his sweet taste.

Beautiful, you hummed into his mouth. You could fall for as long as you wanted, but would the Prince ever fall from grace as he moaned into your mouth, tugging you until you were situated in his lap, arms wrapped tight enough around you in refusal to let you go? Maybe, your mind sighed, hands tugging at his hair when the Prince kissed you fervently, murmuring one word that made you melt right then and there.

Beautiful, he finds you.

Both your loud laughter echoed in his training grounds, the horses’ hooves padding against the firm earth. “Not fast enough, my Lady,” he taunts, his smile bright and wide as he sat perched atop his white stallion. “How would you catch my heart if you cannot ride faster?”

“I will catch up to you, just wait and see! Not everyone grew up riding horses, you know?”

“I bet a fine coin you do ride well, though, my Lady,” he remarked with a wink, his statement enough to tap the sides of your feet harder against your horse to catch after him.

“Your Highness!”

As you two chased around each other the wide field, carefree laughter and clothes swaying against the wind, skin warm from the flush of the sun, the Crown Prince’s servants stood at the side.

A particular woman – the servant that had been loyal long before the Prince was born – remained under a parasol, her wrinkled face tight with a frown.

“How nauseating,” she scrunched her nose, arms crossed on her chest. “To think I dedicated my life into raising the little prince to be a fine king someday, and his future would be tainted by a lowly performer who cannot even make a name for herself,” turning to one of the young boy servants, she narrowed her eyes at you. “Where does she work again? Is she of name?”

“She is an orphan, Madam, taken in at a young age in a dance school before she had to pay the fees herself, if the rumors are correct. I heard that she and His Highness met when she was kicked out by her own ballet master due to her stealing the original Black Swan spot for this season’s show.”

His old nanny’s face grew more gruesome. “Wasn’t the Black Swan supposed to be one of the Earl’s daughters?”

“Yes. Rumours had it that His Highness’ new plaything seized the spot to prove herself. Look at how that plan backfired.”

“How repulsive,” she spat out, venom laced in her tongue.

The roles had reversed, the Crown Prince insistent in catching you this time around, and you rode after him with panicked laughter, hands clutched tight on the reins. Although you’d only swished past the small group of servants that always seemed to be around, you’d heard enough.

“We must protect His Highness at all costs before this wretched woman rips his future away from him. The fate of the kingdom lies on his shoulders; we cannot afford him making mistakes.”

“Indeed, Madam.”

You stopped in your tracks until the horse slowed down with confused huffs, your Prince following behind you not long afterwards. Looking back at him again, you were no longer able to smile at him genuinely, not when discomfort, and most of all shame, had to be forced down deep into your system. Beautiful, you resigned, he was too beautiful.

His servants were right. Maybe you really were ruining everything for him. His reputation was frowned upon to begin with for his less than infamous sexual endeavors, that he was more often sighted in casinos and bars instead of his study room.

The barrack guards had grown tired and weary of trying to stop the Crown Prince from leaving the royal grounds. No matter what they did, he always found a way to escape.

The only difference this time around was that their Prince no longer frequented such sinful places and met with women of all titles and backgrounds. No, this time, the Prince leapt from the tall walls that had never been much of a challenge considering his tall frame, not bothering to get a car or even a horse as he dashed straight to your studio.

Sweat dripped down from your face as you slammed a fist on the floor, tears about to erupt. You couldn’t complete this routine that you were so close into perfecting.

Your mind was simply just in a mess.

There was a conflicting war inside you – one with your heart that yearned to stay longer in His Highness’ presence out of mere selfishness, and one with your mind that told you it was dishnoroubale to taint his name like this. The last thing you wanted was to destroy and push both of you even further into falling from grace; both reputations and name already tarnished.

You’d truly be heartless if you kept going on.

But that didn’t change the fact that you were feeling comfortable with him, having found home in the Crown Prince’s warm arms and spontaneous kisses of all places.

Was it absurd? Undoubtedly so.

Could it be helped? You certainly could try.

And you’d been doing a great job so far; quite a daunting task you patted yourself in the back for. Avoiding the Prince when he’d made it clear he also enjoyed your company proved a lot harder than reaching your dreams, but you pushed through, locking yourself in the unused studio and training day and night.

It wasn’t working well – not on your part, anyway. You’d been here for hours, your clothes uncomfortably sticking to your skin and your water bottles were all emptied.

You’d never felt this tired.

You fell on your knees, palms flat on the floor and sweat salty as it trailed down to your lips. With a groan, you untied your shoes off and stared at the bruised and blued toes, a witness to the countless years of hard work. Your lip quivered as you massaged the sore muscles, tears about to spill as you remembered the Prince.

Beautiful, he was, flawless and porcelain in each movement and breath.

But you? You were battered, scarred, broken and bruised – why would he want you of all people? It was clear he’s had multiple lovers before you. No, scratch that, you were never a lover to begin with. It was all a sham, an agreement formed out of lame survival. There was no beauty in a lie.

The music playing from your stereo kept repeating on loop, this time the tune no longer unrecognizable as your soft cries echoed around the studio. You weren’t beautiful – not enough for him, at least – everyone made that very clear to you.

Just as you wiped your tears away at the back of your hand, standing up to continue another set as you refused to come back home without completing one perfect routine, the doors slammed open. Heavy breathing entered afterwards and you scowled – you worked tooth and bone to claim this place as yours, who dared enter? “This studio is private—” your words fell dry on your skin when a tuft of white hair trudged over to you, his usual placid face replaced with a firm sneer. “Y-Your Highness?”

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

His voice was nothing but demanding, the authority behind them only natural and befitting for someone like him. Each step he took forwards equated to a step backward until your back hit the mirrors, eyes wide as you gazed up at him.

Your voice came out weak. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t act like I’m stupid,” he pointed a finger at you, then scoffed, hands running through the soft locks of his air while he shook his head. You stood there grasping at your tights; having never seen the Prince lose his composure before. “I know you’ve been avoiding me. Every time I try to contact you, you never respond. When I ask your friends where you’ve been, they all tell me you’re busy practicing.”

Somehow, you managed to find your voice again, tone heavy and biting. “I am busy practicing, do you not see that?”

“It’s not the only thing you’re occupied with. Clearly, you are quite determined to stay away from me too,” he bellowed, his loud voice bouncing back from the emptiness of the room. The booming sound must’ve snapped him back to consciousness because Prince Satoru sighed, stepping closer until his warm hand cupped your cheek, starry blue eyes filled with worry and anguish. Had you caused this?

Beautiful, you frowned, that even in his demise he managed to look like fine art. “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” he softened, breath warm on your lips. “If yes, then tell me and I’ll do everything it takes to make up for it.”

You fisted his shirt; cheek faced his way because you couldn’t look him in the eye right now. There was no way you’d let him see you cry.

“I don’t understand you, Your Highness,” you murmured, “You’re about to be King – why do you bother yourself with someone like me? I’m nothing compared to you, and I detest being compared to you for I am more than worthy despite not being born of a high ranking like yours.”

Prince Satoru froze. “Is this what this is about? My title bothers you?”

“We should stop whatever we’re doing,” was all you said, pushing him away as gently as you could, ignoring the gnawing pain that grew inside of you when your palms landed on his chest. “It is lowly of me to take advantage of the Crown Prince’s kindness anyway. My success should be paved out of my own hard work and not because of my lame connections to the Crown Prince.”

“Lame connections? Is that all I am to you?”

“You are my Crown Prince, Your Highness,” you reminded him of the stark difference firmly, “You mean a lot to your people, but I do not mean anything to you. I am just another nameless performer lost in the crowd of a thousand other girls who wish to reach their dreams, even if such a star is far beyond our reach,” Tears had now fallen until they formed into crystals on your cheeks, and he blinked back, unsure of what to do. “Could you ever understand what that feels like? To yearn for something you know you could never have but hope for anyway?”

“It would be a lie if I said I did,” he admitted quietly, “But I think I’m beginning to understand. It would make sense to me now – if you keep pushing me away, that is.”

You shook your head begrudgingly. “Your Highness...we shouldn’t.”

“And why not? Who said we couldn’t?”

You don’t stop him this time when he stepped closer once more, trapping you between his arms until you clutched desperately at his shirt, his erratic heartbeat pulsing under your touch. “It’s just you and I – neither a prince nor a performer – simply man and woman who crave each other’s touch. What could be so wrong into giving into one’s desires?” you gasped when his lips fell at the juncture of your neck, your head immediately tilting to the side as you allowed him to ravage you. “You still haven’t given me the chance to let you know what I feel,” he cradled your jaw, caressing your skin as he breathed you’re your ear, voice low and sultry, begging even, “Would you really deny me the pleasure of showing you how beautiful you are to me right now?”

“Satoru,” you keened at his teeth tugging at your skin, fists clenched on shirt. “Touch me.”

“That’s all I ever wanted to do, darling.”

Satoru swept down to capture your lips in his, his grip firm on the swell of your ass he kept you close to him, pressed hip to hip and his hardened front grazing your core through the tights. He pulled a moan from you as he flipped your body over, lips finding home in your neck while his large hand cupped your breast, the other trailing down to finger at your clothed, damp pussy.

In this angle, you could see the despondent way you easily spread your legs for him, your pants like music to ears.

“Do you still not believe me when I say you are worth more than a pound of gold? Look at you – your dripping cunt shines harder than the diamonds I keep in my room,” the both of you groaned when he pushed a finger through your hole, your tights stretching and sucked in by your walls enough to outline the arousal that seeped through. “Maybe I should keep you instead, hmm, don’t you think? You’d be a far grander treasure than all those riches.”

“I am a woman,” you tugged at his hair, panting heavily as he kept fingering into you, his thumb grazing at the sensitive bundle of nerves that swelled under your tight clothes. “I am not to be reduced to a possession you acquire.”

“No, of course not. Nothing could ever replace you in this world,” he growled, harsh in his movements as he tore your clothes with minimal effort.

You yelped when your precious tights had been ripped to the sides, a hole revealing your core and your breasts barely covered with the flimsy fabric. Satoru shuffled his pants down before placing you right on his cock, swallowing your moans with each inch of his length that slid inside you.

Hands dug painfully into his hair, Satoru hissed at the pain, grinning to himself at how wet you were through just light touches and a sloppy kiss. You’ve been good for him, though, you were always good for him that he had to reward you, show you how beautiful you were, and he spread his legs apart, relishing in the sight of you being fucked onto his cock.

“Nothing feels better than your tight pussy, huh? Take a good look at yourself, you’re so fucking precious, taking me so well,” you could only moan in response, unable to take your eyes off the way his length disappeared inside you, a shiver chilling your spine when he grasped at your breasts, nipples tweaked between his fingers. “Nothing, nothing, nothing could compare to this. You feel like heaven, taste like bliss and forgiveness,” he licked at the salty sweat that drowned your body, one of his hands now rolling your clit between his fingers. You screamed, bouncing yourself harder on him with your nails dug deep into his thighs. “You will be the redemption of my darkened soul, are you not?”

“Maybe I will be,” you cried out, head lolled onto his shoulder.

Satoru hummed, his eyes dark and coated with lust when your breasts bounced in front of the mirror. Thanks to years of dancing, you barely felt a stretch when Satoru suddenly lifted your legs up until your thighs were embarrassingly squished against your chest. You knew why he did this; it wasn’t that hard to understand why when he narrowed his focus on the way your juices slipped down his cock, the sounds of your pussy squelching drowning out the operatic music.

Satoru kissed your cheeks to wipe your previous tears away, his hands nothing but grabby and possessive as he gripped the flesh of your thigh. “You already are, sweet thing.”

Pleasure had completely taken over you at this point, that familiar heat building up in your stomach until it snapped into two. Pupils blown wide open, you gasped as you came all over him, your cum creaming down onto his cock until it lined with a thick ring of cum.

It was filthy to say the least, and your body burned at the thought that you were disrespecting him, defiling him with the mess you’ve made. But the Prince only fucked into you harder, his teeth grazing at your already abused skin with relentless and merciless thrusts. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d show you how beautiful he found you, going hell and beyond because you felt nothing but worshipped when he kissed you feverishly, his moans romantic as he came. “S-Satoru!”

“That’s right,” he slipped a finger, the stretch adding a slight tinge of pain that had your hips rutting out in sensitivity, your hole clenching around his everything. “Cum for me. Come on, I know you can do it for me. You’re so good, sweetheart, come for me.”

You were mindlessly babbling his name as both of you came down from your highs. Satoru doesn’t stop once from running hands everywhere, gripping your hips, flicking your nipples, rubbing your clit, and running a finger down your slit to wipe your juices everywhere. It had become too much that you had to push his hand away, legs locking around his arms that refused to stop cupping your pussy.

“Do you see how beautiful you are?” he cooed, shameless and teasing when he brought his hands up to your face, fingers stretched to show the webbing of your arousal between them. “We made such a mess,” he chuckled, his kisses a lot softer now on your neck.

Beautiful, you whimpered internally as you fluttered around nothing.

Satoru must’ve grown an addiction to kissing your lips for he dived in one last time, murmuring the word you always tied him with until they felt printed, tattooed, on your skin. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to bask in this, your kisses slow and sensual as you both enjoyed this serene moment.

He came to this studio to prove you something.

He left the studio with a swelling heart, cheeks resting on your breast as he wrapped his arms around you in the comfort of your worn-out mattress as he asked, can I stay here longer with you?

The cheers and applause directed your way were deafening, the spotlight blinding as you bowed. You gasped for air, every muscle in your body screaming both with delight and exhaustion.

You could barely fathom the crowd hidden in darkness before you, the sight like a black sea, but instead of feeling like you were drowning, you don’t think you’d ever been able to breathe this well before. The smile on your face was bright – brighter than the star you’ve become and bigger than the galaxy and universe you’ve made for yourself – and you waved your arm gracefully, toes pointed outwards while the roses and flowers thrown your way came flooding like a waterfall.

You’d made it.

And through the crowd, at the back where someone the likes of him wasn’t supposed to be, His Majesty’s white hair stuck out like a sore thumb. His draperies were replaced with finer ornaments of gold embroidery, those large hands that had grown accustomed to holding yours and marking handprints on your delicate skin covered with gloves as he applauded, following the crowd from where they all stood.

Your smile directed him was nothing less of a beam, the stars he’d hung for you reflecting back in your eyes. Tears blurred the vision of him for a moment until you saw him again – crystal clear – his expression both proud and longing.

The memory of you and him had been a beautiful one, but it was distant and with each passing day, it blurred until it became nothing like swirls of I love you’s and good luck’s whispered onto one another’s skin. Your heart still soared and broke each time at the sight of him, the majestic Queen hanging off the arm that was locked with yours just years ago a painful reminder that there would always be an invisible divide between you and the Prince you’d fallen in love with.

There was no regret, however, in where things had led. You knew he loved his kind wife as much as he loved you, and he knew you loved him as much as you loved your career, and things were simply just…meant to be this way, you concluded.

It was never supposed to be a great love story that told of breaking traditions. Not all stories were meant to go against the odds; some were told to show that people could be capable of change without having to change anything. You were thankful, still so extremely grateful you met your beloved Prince even as he left the theatre before people crowded around him, leaving you to your devices until you retired back into the changing room, a set of rare flowers only a certain person could afford.

Beautiful, you cried as you picked up the card, his once messy scrawls improved into a neater cursive befitting for the new King.

And so it was that you parted ways, with him leading his country into further prosperity while you moved away and stole people’s hearts with each phenomenal show, one after the other.

Your summer rendezvous with the Prince was not meant to be a love story that went against all odds; you were there to save each other from reaching damnation, loving one another as passionately as your souls were able to until you picked each other back up.

Once the other stood firm, tall, and ready to take on the world with their bare hands, you pushed one another in your respective directions.

Beautiful, you smiled as you clutched at his present close to your heart where he’d built a garden out of itself, that we’d saved each other from falling from grace.

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