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certifiedsidedish · 2 years

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Thua is NOT the villain of “The Eclipse”

Let me start this post off by saying that I do not condone Thua outing his friends’ secret relationship. It’s true that he is my favorite character in the series; and I believe he is one of the most well-written BL characters (especially in a high school BL), period. That being said, his actions in EP11—as well as throughout the series—came from a place of pain and suffering. And when decisions are made based on pain, things rarely end well.

But before we talk about Thua (and he is not the villain that some are making him out to be) let’s talk about Akk. While Ajarn Chadok uses Akk to enforce the authoritarian regime of the school, Akk is the one who decides the means in which he is going to carry out Ajarn Chadok’s orders. Akk decides to torment his classmates. Akk sends the truck into the crowd of protesters. And it’s Akk who drops the flower pot from the 4th floor, mere inches from a student’s head. Akk’s tactics rely on the potential of physical harm to affect those who he sees as a threat to his school, and his title as Student Prefect Club President.

Now compare these things to the methods Thua used: Thua created the Twitter account. He used it, as well as the banner, to scare the protesters. He set a mannequin on fire. While both Akk and Thua’s actions caused psychological trauma (yes, I said trauma) to their targets, only Akk’s methods could have directly resulted in both mental and physical harm.

If we look at Thua’s character, we see in the beginning that he is true neutral: the quiet kid who just keeps his head down, does his work and wants to get out of the hellhole that is Suppalo as fast as possible. It’s not until Ayan calls Thua out for not taking a stand and fighting against injustice that we see Thua begin to shift from true neutral to neutral good (with some chaotic tendencies). Now in EP11 Ayan is actively insisting that Thua silence himself. Why? Because it would reveal that Ayan has been covering for Akk this entire time (which IMHO is just downright hypocritical of AyanAkk.)

Which brings me to the protest—and Thua’s outing of AyanAkk as being in a relationship. As a member of the queer community myself (💗💜💙) I can acknowledge that Thua outing AyanAkk was inappropriate. He robbed them of the decision to be open about their relationship. However, I fully—and I say this with my ENTIRE CHEST—support Thua outing Akk as the one behind the curse. Akk’s actions not only inflicted psychological and potential physical damage to those who were seen as “out of line,” they also encouraged an environment where Thua (and Kan for that matter) was bullied. And as we see in EP5 the bullying Thua endures leads him to feel like he wants to disappear. This could be interpreted as an early warning sign of passive suicidal ideation.

Had it not been for Kan, disguised as man of mystery Bruce Wayne) there is no telling what Thua would’ve done. The grief of losing his father, the emotional and mental abuse he has had to endure from his stepfather, as well as the bullying and blatant social rejection by his peers, resulted in Thua’s depression—yeah, my little pudding pop is depressed as fuck!

That depression soon lead to rage and shame. Thua was [rightfully] enraged by the injustices that allowed others to torment him. That torment kept him in his depressive state, resulting in him being “like a robot.” Ever heard of the expression you cannot heal in the same environment that broke you? Thua’s pain was unleashed when The World Remembers began their protests. Because those protests would lead to a version of Suppalo that would not support Thua’s tormentors.

So for those of you saying that Thua should not have been forgiven, I ask you this: why not?

Akk lied to his friends for years about the curse of Suppalo.

And he knowingly put their physical and mental well being in harm’s way.

Why are we as a fandom quick to forgive Akk, but not Thua? Is it because Akk was being controlled by Chadok? If that’s the case, I have to go back to the argument that Chadok did not tell Akk to run that truck into a crowd of his peers; Chadok did not tell Akk to drop that flower pot on their heads. Chadok simply told Akk to do what must be done to keep the protesters at bay.

Akk’s actions directly contributed to the student body’s mentality of causing harm to those who are “different” including Thua, a boy who is lonely and just wants his pain to end.

TL:DR Thua is not the villain everyone is making him out to be. He is a child who has been directly affected by Akk’s actions as Student Prefect Club President. And he deserves to be forgiven for his actions just as much as Akk deserves to be forgiven for his.

#the eclipse #the eclipse the series #thua is not the villain #because in the eclipse there is no villain #they all do what the have to do #to make the pain stop #to make all the shit go away #what thua did was shitty #but he deserves to be forgiven

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artbyeloquent · 2 years

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Hill to Die On: A WIP Novel by Eloquent

[ image id: eight images in a square grid collage surround the title; a gravestone, blood-drenched hands, a snarling dog’s teeth, a magem david laid across a siddur prayer book, a cityscape at night, a decaying hallway, a silhouette on a dark street, and an autumn forest path. ]

A GRUESOME SMILE snaked across his face. “Isn’t it romantic?” he crooned. “How close to death we all are?” His fingertips dragged down his eyelids and cheeks, but the smile remained. “I don’t have a lot of time left, Rimon. Best use it wisely.”

RIMON exorcises ghosts for a living. At least, that’s the cool way of putting it. They’re more of a glorified ghost therapist. But it’s a relatively quiet job in the chaotic industry of spirit intervention, and they wouldn’t trade it for the world. Unfortunately, they don’t have much choice when their coworker returns from a hunt erratic and disturbed. Rimon is thrust headfirst into a dangerous mystery they want no part in, but they no longer have a choice. Do they have what it takes to lead their team into the eye of the storm, before it swallows Boston whole?

Hill to Die On is a contemporary paranormal thriller written through the lens of Jewish characters, spirituality, and daily life.

content warnings: death, blood, gore, possession, existential crisis and existentialism, ghosts, demons, combat/severe wounds. [more to add later]

pov: third person limited omniscent

status: outlining/first draft

themes: the many ways to be Jewish, spirituality, existentialism, found family workplace, processing grief/trauma/death, what it means to be human, strength in community, facing your demons (literally), resisting cultural/religious assimilation, generational healing

CHARACTERS [ main and secondary ]

RIMON | 44, nonbinary, aroace, they/them | Rimon is an Intermediary in the Department of Inter-Planar Relationships. They deal with low-level spirit conflicts such as minor hauntings, possessions, and hauntings of unfinished business. They are a laidback individual with a dry wit and easy contentment with their position in life. They are Ashkenazi and identify with conservative Judaism.

DEV | late 40s, cis woman, aro pansexual, she/her | The Head of Rimon’s department. Bitter, no-nonsense, only cracks a smile when the stars align, but extremely close with Rimon. She is Mizrahi and identifies culturally with Judaism but doesn’t believe in G-d.

JAKE | mid 30s, cis man, heterosexual, he/him | A cocky top Neutralizer from the Department of Emergency Management and Control. He has a good heart but no respect for his elders. He is Ashkenazi and identifies with reform Judaism.

YAEL | mid 30s, nonbinary, bisexual, xe/xem/xir | Rimon’s second in command on their team. Way more high strung and easily stressed than Rimon, xe has a hard time “taking a chill pill.” Xe identifies with “conservadox” Judaism.

ARIEL | late 20s, trans man, panromantic asexual, he/him | Resident freeloader of Rimon’s Intermediary team. Horrible at desk work but great in the field. He is Sephardic and identifies culturally but not all that religiously with Judaism. Still gets into existential debates with Rimon for fun.

TAMARA | 34, trans woman, heterosexual, she/her | Rimon’s little sister and the wild one of the siblings. Always sticks her nose in Rimon’s business even if she’s not an Intermediary. Kicks their ass into action when they Just Don’t Wanna.

SIMON | 40, cis man, bisexual, he/him | Often mistaken for Rimon’s twin, the pair of them make each other more chaotic than necessary. Incredibly overprotective of Tamara, who could not care less. More excitable than his older sister and more family-oriented than either of his siblings. Has no idea what to make of what’s going on.

TAGLIST [ ask to be + / - ]:

@ellierenae @drsnefarious

reblogs are much appreciated!

#tw blood #tw gore #tw teeth #wip intro #spilled ink #writers on tumblr #jewish writer #jewish representation #horror #thriller #paranormal #ghosts #demons #spirits #long post #my writing #mine #hill to die on #hill to die on intro

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in-tua-deep · 3 years

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Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

#long post #far tua long #tua bnha crossover #what kind of disaster is this #there are so many characters in bnha to even consider #there is no more apocalypse so five either chills the fuck out or his paranoia ramps up to an eleven #or both!#five teleporting into nedzu's office like: hey i wrote a 52 page potential contingency plan for if x happens #and nedzu is like 'wonderful!' and gives it back to five the next day with corrections and critiques in red ink #klaus ben and ghost!nana get along like a house on fire even if she keeps telling klaus that he's too skinny #ben: klaus is an absolute fucking idiot with zero braincells #nana nodding sagely while looking at all might: ah yes i know the exact type #diego and snipe become absolute bros like ride or die because why not #luther gets positive reinforcement and goes to therapy #also thirteen listens patiently to luther infodumping about space because i think that would be nice #five is either like 'i'm only thirteen uwu' or 'i'm fifty eight' and there is nothing in between - only what is most convenient #i feel like kaminari and mina vibe with five's brand of chaos #iida doesn't know whether to murder five for being a gremlin and disobeying so many rules or to be respectful bc five is technically old #aizawa is SO TIRED y'all #aizawa thinks vanya is going to be the good hargreeves but PSYCHE all the hargreeves are equally chaotic in different ways #five calls nedzu 'dad' for the sole reason that it makes every teacher and/or hero in earshot cringe in automatic fear #klaus also calls nedzu dad because he just thinks it's funny #five and nedzu have similar coping mechanisms so they vibe but nedzu also vibes with klaus's sense of chaotic humor #five gets talked into healthier coping mechanisms by way of 'keeping his cover' or 'preventing the hc from getting their hands on you'#aka five is not allowed to drink alcohol #five HAS gone to midnight and been like 'hey teach knock me the fuck out my brain is working overdrive and i need to not be awake anymore'

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thirsting-for-noblesse · 3 years

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Noblesse Headcanon #1: Taking Care of Their Hurt S/O

Characters: Raizel, Frankenstein, M-21, Urokai

their s/o is hurt (injured from a battle, a cold, or whatever you want) so what amusing antics will we witness?

Raizel ✝️

~ at first, Raizel wouldn't know his s/o is hurting. their act in pretending they're just fine was convincing, but not long enough to escape his keen crimson eyes. He would be disappointed and upset that his s/o tries to hide it from him.

~ "((Name)). You wanted to hide that you're hurting." He held them accountable.

"How could I not? This is too trivial for you to worry about."

"That is not how it seems." He peered at their injury and expression.

~ He'd ask if they were alright in such a pained voice. his s/o would feel the concern in his voice and see it in his eyes that it hurts their conscience

~ Raizel is a pure, wholesome man. he'd try his best to take care of his s/o but unfortunately he knows almost absolutely nothing about tending a hurt person. He doesn't know how to wrap bandages or how stop the bleeding

~ he'd stay by his s/o's side silently, never leaving them. his s/o has to tell him that they're not going to die for Raizel's anxiety to not worsen. He wouldn't say anything, the intensity in his eyes would stay the same too.

~ he'd try to give them tea or even (failed cooked) ramyeon, wishing those would help, but ofc they wouldn't work. they would warm up his s/o's heart more than any fire could though

~ when his s/o's condition doesn't get better, he'd start thinking of using his powers to heal them. Raizel has seen numerous nobles and humans die, some of them by his hands. This is rather melodramatic, but Raizel preferred to die rather than letting his s/o die on his watch.

~ Of course, his s/o would immediately reject this no matter how much he insists. They would never accept Raizel's powers.

~ he'd ultimately turn to Frankenstein. He wanted to take care of his s/o himself, being responsible and not wanting to burden Frankenstein with it, but he realized the reality that he lacked knowledge to do anything about it (unless he uses his power ofc)

Frankenstein ⚗

~ Frankenstein has been serving Raizel for at least 820 years and is the first and strongest modified human. He packs a lot of medical knowledge

~ expect to be better real soon. this guy wastes no time in tending injured people, imagine the dedication for his s/o

~ "Your condition isn't that terrible to become life threatening, but that doesn't mean you're doing alright." Frankenstein frowned.

"Frankenstein, cease your worry. It doesn't hurt that much."

"We should try running another diagnosis. I won't let your condition worsen."

~ if his s/o likes fluff, they're gonna love the attention he gives even after they get better. say what you want, but if Frankenstein isn't oblivious and dense, he's most likely one of the most romantic man in the manhwa. he's rich, handsome, insanely smart, and has humor. what else do you want?

~ gourmet food? tea? snacks? dessert? ramyeon? he'd have it all prepared. just say the word

~ ah, don't forget the incessant nagging about the injuries though. he'd scold his s/o, almost like a parent, and expects them not to be hurt like this again. it almost feels like a threat.

~ his dark purple aura would appear with his smile when he expects a good answer to his "Will you stay out of trouble next time?" question. ofc his s/o would gulp and nod.

M-21 🐺

~ ho boy. my boy got trauma with seeing a person precious to him in a fragile state

~ he had to witness M-24's death, was consumed with guilt when Raizel used his powers to awaken him AND to Tao and Takeo, so do you think he's gonna be okay seeing his s/o hurting.

~ the hurt in his eyes is so evident people would think he's the one hurting and not his s/o. this angsty man. people can even mistake that his s/o died

~ he'd bombard his s/o with "Are you okay?" "Do you need __?" "How are you feeling now?" "Will this help?" questions.

~ he'd do anything to relieve his s/o's pain. First thing's first, he'd go to Frankenstein his dad

~ if Frankenstein said their condition is treatable, he'd stay by his s/o's side during the whole treatment. he wouldn't think of leaving them at all. When they get better, he'd smile and cry so widely his s/o wondered if they returned from death

~ "M-21, you are crying?"

"N-No."

"..."

~ IF his s/o's condition is beyond Frankenstein's help, oh, the fear in his face... M-21 wouldn't dare ask Raizel to awaken his s/o, so he'd travel around for other options. KSA, the werewolves, anything.

Urokai 🗡

~ "((Name)), are you alright?! What happened!?" His expression is so tense, his s/o thought that he's furious instead of being worried.

"Urokai, I will not die from this much."

"Who did this to you?! Was it that human? He dared touch you?!"

~ have you seen the way he's so protective around Raizel? expect to see this again. he reminds me of a Doberman. Fierce, alpha, and loyal.

~ ah, my feisty, angsty, angry redhead. he's the embodiment of chaotic good/neutral. The chaos he'd create in attempt to help his s/o would be entertaining for his s/o to watch if they weren't hurting

~ If his s/o is hurt because of a battle, hoo the violent expression he makes..

~ "I'm going to kill them." (Urokai, baby, your s/o first)

~ With each (bloody) cough his s/o makes, the darker, angrier, and grim his face gets

~ He knows absolutely nothing about tending them. My guy can't even make tea do you think he'd know anything about medical pratices

~ would probably ask Zarga or Loctis for help, but as a last resort. Urokai insists that he's good enough for his s/o without anyone's help, but if the situation doesn't help, he has to seek alternatives.

~ god forbid anyone mentions Frankenstein as a solution to help his s/o. Urokai challenged Frankenstein to a duel when he stayed around Raizel, so what do you think would happen if someone suggested Frankenstein's help to mend Urokai's s/o's wounds?

#noblesse #noblesse frankenstein #cadis etrama di raizel #raizel #raizel noblesse #m-21 #m 21 #m 21 noblesse #m-21 noblesse #urokai agvain #urokai #noblesse headcanon

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lgvalenzuela · 3 years

Text

Angelique Campbell

Thanks to @hogwartsmystory for making such a cool template

This will be expanded upon, and some things that are left vague will be explained.

(Tw: there’s some violent acts and murder described)

Identity

Name: Angelique Campbell, also goes for Eirian (just by Artemis)

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Birth Date: October 23

Species: Human

Blood Status: Pureblood

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Ethnicity: Caucasian (welsh)

Nationality: Welsh

Residence: Merthyr Tydfil, Wales

Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Myer Briggs Personality Type: INTP-T (The logician)

Ennegram: Type 1 (The reformer)

The Mage

Wand: She doesn’t have or need a wand, but she does use her cane for dramatic flare

Boggart Form: The demon that’s been following her for centuries

Riddikulus Form: She hasn’t been able to find one yet

Amortentia:

She smells like petricor, nature and rosemary perfume

She smells Scotch malt whiskey, wild mint, heather, fresh sea air and summer rain

Patronus: Y Ddraig Goch

Patronus Memory: Meeting Artemis

Mirror of Erised: Her in her old age, having lived a life that’s been stolen from her time and time again

Specialized/Favourite Spells: The one’s Merlin left her and the one’s she made, specially healing ones

Misc Magical Abilities: When she worked under Merlin, they started writing a grimoire together, which has found her in every life. She’s been working on it for centuries and has really powerful magic contained in its pages

Appearance

Faceclaim:

Voiceclaim

Game Appearance: Who knows?

Height: 170cm (5’7’’)

Weight: 55 kg (121 lbs)

Physique: She’s thin and weak

Eye Colour: Aurora borealis green

Hair Colour: Ginger

Skin Tone: Pretty pale, but healthy looking

Scarring: Lost her leg under the demon’s attack and has a prosthetic ever since, missed a couple of years for going through rehabilitation. She also has a white streak of her she hides for going thought this trauma.

Inventory: She carries her grimorie and the Ouroboros brooch

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie

Affiliations/Organizations:

Wales

Pendragon family

Crowe family

Professions:

Healer

Teacher

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies: Don’t get fooled by her good grades, she went to Hogwarts having just experience her own magic for so long she entered having no idea what kind of things they teach there, only earning such good academic record on behalf of maintaining a certain reputation, not for her family but for her own pride.

Astronomy: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Charms: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

DADA: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Flying: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ (T)

Herbology: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

History of Magic: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

Potions: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

Transfiguration: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Electives:

Ancient Studies: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

Muggle studies: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Relationships

Family

The Campbells

Arianell and Cadogan Campbell

No matter they’re wizards, Angelique’s parents are truly product of their times, they see their daughters only as products they must sell, especially Angelique as their ‘pride and joy’ an extremely beautiful, intelligent and powerful witch? They want to get her married as soon as possible, to someone just as wealthy and powerful as the Campbells, and of course, a pureblood.

And they certainly didn’t take well how open minded and pro muggle Angelique was, in the eyes of society they were the perfects parents to her, in private she was the subject of much scorn and ridicule.

Brynna Campbell

If Angelique was the pride and joy of her parents, Brynn was for Angelique, in all her lives she never had a sibling and welcomed her with open arms, no matter if her parents wanted to keep them apart since Brynna was a squib, Angelique would never stop loving her.

But how did Brynna feel?

Love Interest: Artemis Crowe @brothergrimm71

She was urged by her parents to get married as soon as possible, but for a while has refused to fall in love until her curse is broken. Or at least she didn’t want to until she met Artemis, but still refuses to admit the obvious, with fear that if she dies again, she would break his heart.

Best Friends:

Lorilyn Kumari

Akane Fukui

Artemis Crowe

Backround/History

Previous lives

Eirian Emrys

Late 5th century - early 6th century

She was born in the midst of war between the Celtic Britons and the Anglo-Saxons, of her true parents we know not, but she was found by Merlin during The Battle of Badon, as a child, fighting. And was taking to Arthur, who was horrified that a child was fighting his wars and promised she never had to fight again, she was taking in by Merlin and became his assitant and apprentice (even though she did not possess any magical talent at this point)

And in this life she never fought again, she lived a completely normal life, she got married and had a kid, and everything was perfect until an Anglo-Saxon noble saw her, and decided she was for him. He found her alone and threatened to burn her village to the ground, to destroy everything she loved if she didn’t go with him.

And she did, gaining the reputation of an easy woman and a whore from the ones that were once her family and her friends.

But of course she did not love this man, and even if she married him and never said a thing, he came one day to their room, and impaled both of them with a sword.

Gael Bach

971-990

She woke up as another child, she received a brooch, with the form of an ouroboros, and even in the loudest night she could hear something creeping in.

But she also received the grimoire her and Merlin wrote together, and decided to expand it, since she had magical powers this life, found more druids that could teach her.

She tried to live a normal life, she fell in love again. Hogwarts was being built at this point, and children from Ireland and Wales were being dragged to this noticeably British school, she tried to do something, but a demon killed before that could happen.

Mair Carew

1261-1283

She woke up again, as different child. She received the ouroboros, and the grimoire, and heard the creeping sounds, realized she was cursed, and followed by a demon.

But she didn’t have much time to think about it since she lived midst of war again (and only took time to study magic with local wizards to keep working on the grimoire) battling for Wales, which they lost this time, and the last thing she saw before the demon got to her was her country being conquered.

She asked to be chained to a rock with a sword, to fight even in death.

Nonn Gower

1332-1353

Already centered on breaking her curse, worked on her spells until The Black Death came and she couldn’t turn a blind eye, made the most healing spells during this time, but quickly found out her demon could also turn people against her, and even was burned as a witch even when all the people that she saved protested.

Penrose Moore

1500-1521

Ever the beautiful young lady, was noticed by Henry the VIII, who tried to make her his lover, even if married to Catherin of Aragon at the time, but she did not yield to the British, and pronounced the words that led to her perdition: I only kneel in front the ones who fought for Wales. And the demon compelled them to kill her.

Henry the VIII passed the acts that tried to kill the welsh language.

Pre Hogwarts

And we come to Angelique, the only one born under pure magical blood, and the only one who has survived an attack from her demon, just losing a leg in return.

She didn’t want to go to Hogwarts at first, but figured she wouldn’t lose anything trying and at least would learn a thing or two, just missed a couple of years doing rehabilitation from the trauma of her leg being ripped off of her.

Personality

Open-Minded: She’s fairly liberal for a Victorian lady, with a “none of my bussiness” sort of attitude when people go outside of social norms or traditions, especially if they’re not hurting anyone.

Compassionate: She didn’t expend all this centuries becoming a highly powerful healer for nothing, she saw too many people die in the wars, and she saw a lot of people die under the plages, and she couldn’t just stay there, the love for her people has made her last so long and she’s not giving up on them.

Passionate and loyal to her values, but tired: Highly conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong, ever the teacher, the crusader and the advocate for change, for making things better. Only wavering on the basis of being tired of getting brutally murdered time and time again, feeling the clock ticking while her doom approaches. But even at her worse, at the end she can’t help her desire to be good, her integrity is too strong.

Secretive and reclusive – While yielding many insights into her surroundings, her surroundings are ironically considered an intrusion on her thoughts. This is especially true with people, she’s quite shy in social settings, and scared if she makes strong bonds again they will miss her soon. Even close friends struggle to get into Logicians’ hearts and minds.

Short tempered and grumpy: Maybe it’s the way she feels her time running out, but it has made her quite impatient and insensitive if she thinks someone´s wasting her valuable time, she has stuff to worry about so don’t bother her with stupid problems, even though begrudgingly she will help you.

Prideful: She’s an extremely powerful witch and she knows it, there’s very few people that can stand in her way, and she won’t let them.

#hogwarts legacy #angelique campbell #mine doodles #artbreeder #Mine writing #character profile

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buckyreaderrecs · 4 years

Text

So Far Away: Chapter 2/?

Summary: Bucky Barnes doing what he does best. Saving. Loving. In this particular case, the object of both is you. (Bonus: Bucky Barnes happy, healing, doing really well!) Chapter 1.

Chapter 2: He's saved you before. Now he's gotta find you and bring you home.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader Characters: Bucky Barnes Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists), possible future smut (who knows, not me), she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with future chapters, hero Bucky Barnes, canon typical violence, warzone/disaster zone setting Warnings: possible triggers for anxiety, PTSD, grief

Tag list (open): @darlingtholland @browngirlmagic @lookalivefrosty

So Far Away Chapter 2/?

Bucky couldn't visit you in the hospital, even if he had wanted to; there was only space for the critically injured in the still-standing healthcare facilities. Others were transported elsewhere in the country. Anywhere that could take people did. That just left the people like you - hurt but able to walk, i.e. not dying.

Along with the thousands of other displaced city dwellers, you were assigned a fold out cot in a repurposed rec centre. It wasn't until you were sitting on it, with only a government issues sleeping bag and water bottle to call your own did reality set in. You'd lost your home. There was no way of contacting finding friends or family. With no connections outside of DC, you could only put your name on the 'registered: to be relocated' list and wait. Eventually you'd be seen by a caseworker, or so you were told.

The rec centre was a battle within itself. Three nights in and it was almost as bad as the moments before Bucky found you. There were crying and hopelessness, and a sense that everything important was happening elsewhere, that all your fates were out of your hands. You were going mad.

…

On the fourth morning, you were sitting on your cot with the girl who'd been sleeping next to you. While her mother went in search of anything resembling warm coffee, you braided the girl's hair. That's when you heard your name.

Behind you stood a man in a crisp black suit. The dark sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose were unnecessary in the rec centre. "Y/N?" he repeated when you turned to look at him.

As you stood, you nodded. "Yes,"

"Please follow me,"

"Wait!" you called when he moved too fast. "What's happening? Did you find my family? Do I bring my stuff with me?"

Throwing all you had - drink bottle, toothbrush and paste, protein bar - into your sleeping bag, you bundled it up and jogged after the man.

Nobody had been collected like that. Nobody had heard anything about their family from any official source either. You were very confused and a little sick with anticipation. Trotting along, you did your best to keep up without dropping anything.

Outside in the still dirty and broken street, the door to a sleek black car was held open for you.

"Where-" but you were cut off by a body emerging from the back seat.

"C'mon, man. She's only got one good hand. Could've taken her bag," Bucky said in a tone that was trying to be friendly but made the suited man shift uncomfortably and mumble an apology.

Bucky took the sleeping bag from you and carefully put it in the car. He looked at you then, smiled and nodded. "Sorry, I didn't bring any flowers. Took a little longer to find ya than I thought."

Eyes welling up with tears, you fell into his solid chest. Any embarrassment you could have felt was chased away with a wave of relief. You felt safe.

"Hi," he whispered, knowing you weren't able to reply.

Bundled in the backseat, Bucky gave you space to spread out if you wanted to. You didn't. After two minutes of watching you breathing heavily and trying not to curl into yourself, he undid his seatbelt and slide over.

"Come 'ere," he said, pulling you closer with his right arm. Nestled under him like a baby bird, it was easier to think. Thinking led to questions.

"Where are we going?" you asked. The first words you had spoken since seeing him and they weren't even gracious. Bucky didn't care though.

"New York," he answered. "Bit of a drive, but I reckon driving is safer than flying right now. We'll stay off the radar better too."

At the allusion to threat, your heart rate increased. "Are they still here?" you asked.

A state of emergency had been declared. That's all you'd really heard. You wanted to know if the creatures that had come from the sky were still waging war. It hadn't been an accident that they'd landed in the capital of arguably the most powerful nation in the world.

"I'm a sucker for a pretty face, Y/N, but I can't go around telling state secrets… But the battle's over for now; you're safe. Nothing to worry about."

It wasn't just you, though. There were people to find. Help. Save. However, even thinking about all of that, all of them, was too dangerous of a luxury at that point. You couldn't let yourself think beyond yourself. Instead, you asked, "Where are we going?" again, meaning to inquire about specifics.

Bucky was very used to people's inability to function effectively after pain, trauma. The repetition hardly registered as such; he knew what you meant. "Been staying at Stark Tower since I've been back in America,"

"Wakanda," you mumbled, mostly to yourself.

"Yeah, Wakanda. The Tower is… not exactly a home, but it's safe and it's somewhere to sleep,"

"'Kay." A slight nod was all you could muster.

You closed your eyes and let Bucky gently move his thumb over the exposed skin on your arm. Since it all began, you'd been cold. It was cold outside between the broken homes. It was cold in the rec centre, despite the mass of human movement. But in the back seat of the sleek black car, you were warm. The hoodie you'd been picturing in your mind for days was crossed off the wish list. Suddenly, you were glad to be in a t-shirt, glad to feel skin on skin.

Bucky's hand was warm. You wondered if his other one was, the one made of new vibranium and Wakandan technology. A combination of sleep deprivation and strange comfort led to you briefly opening your eyes and looking across Bucky's lap to where his left hand rested on his thigh. You reached out and took the hand, pulling it closer.

"You can feel everything?" you asked.

It was more than rude, but he forgave you. Usually people were too afraid of him to ask curious questions, so your bluntness was kind of refreshing. "Yeah. Pressure and temperature, at least," he answered, flexing his fingers in demonstration.

"Can you feel this?"

With the lightest touch, you traced patterns over the palm of Bucky's hand. He nodded, letting you trace seams and map his hand like you were charting a course to somewhere important.

"Are-" Bucky went to speak but stopped himself, starting his sentence again. "I know this is a… I don't know, a dumb question, but how are you?"

At first, Bucky tried to not involve anybody else in his search for you. Eventually, he had to explain to Steve and Sam, who kept asking where he was disappearing to. Earth had been invaded - what was more important? He had to talk to F.R.I.D.A.Y. too, so he assumed Stark would find out he'd been on the hunt for one girl. Bucky had half expected people to laugh at him. Or maybe even warn him against ruining an innocent girl's life with his own chaotic one. He was the Winter Soldier after all. Nobody had though. He'd been left with the resources he needed.

On Bucky's way out of New York, Stark had even phoned in, left a voice message. "Yeah, hey, Barnes… Look, if you find… if you find her, you can bring her here… What's one more stray?"

It made him feel like a massive idiot, like he was getting too big for his boots, but Bucky asked the agent to go into each building full of survivors and check for you. He knew going in himself would make a scene, disrupt the peace people so truly needed. The agent complied, of course. The first three times the agent had returned, he shook his head solemnly - "Sorry, Sir." Each time Bucky had reminded the agent that a) it wasn't his fault, no need to apologise, and b) he really didn't need to call Bucky 'Sir.'

Bucky knew you were alive, so you had to be somewhere. And when he watched you trot outside the rec centre, finally knowing where somewhere was, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders he didn't know was there.

Three nights and four days wasn't a long time, especially not by Bucky's standards, but he'd missed you. Even less than four days were the few moments he'd spent carrying you to safety. It wasn't like he'd gotten to know you. It wasn't like you were looking spectacularly beautiful. Honestly, Bucky had no fucking idea why he couldn't stop wondering where you had ended up and if you were okay. He had no idea what was driving that immense pressure coming from inside him to find you.

None of that mattered. You were tucked safely into him, holding his hand like it hadn't been the thing to kill countless people.

"You must have saved so many people," you said suddenly, ignoring his question not out of rudeness or deflection, but out of distraction. You were replaying it all in your head, imagining how Bucky must have swooped in and rescued other people stranded like you.

When Bucky didn't reply, you looked up at him. His expression was almost neutral, but erring on the side of confusion. His head cocked to the side a little, then his eyebrows pulled together.

"You mean, like…"

"Like me," you confirmed.

"Uh, no… not really. I'm more a… frontline combat kind of guy,"

"Thought you were a sniper?"

Bucky smirked. "Yeah… I mean I'm not… They don't send me looking for… civilians, people. The others are better at that," he tried to explain. He could see you didn't understand. "People see Captain America or… fuckin' Thor and know they're saved. Clint's good at it too. They're… people people, you know?"

You were frowning so much it almost looked childish. It was your thinking face, and Bucky didn't want to think it was entirely adorable, but it very much was.

"Then what are you?"

"I'm a… frontline combat, call me when there's a war not a press conference, kind of guy… I guess…" he said, repeated with flair. It was hard to read the tone in his voice; you couldn't tell if he was glad or sad about being that kind of guy.

"What about me?"

Quiet again while he thought, Bucky racked his memory. "You're… You're the only one…"

Bucky had saved hundreds of people during war pre-Howling Commandos and post, and he had saved the literal planet alongside The Avengers, so you were not the first person he had saved by any stretch of the imagination. But he wasn't searching for civilians the day he found you. He was stalking the enemy and killing them. You were not meant to be there. But you were. And if Bucky wasn't, you would have died. It made you the first and only individual person to be 'saved' by Bucky Barnes in the traditional help-me-Superman kind of way. That fact had only just become clear in Bucky's mind.

As Bucky figured it all out, you were watching him carefully, trying to read his mind. His blue eyes were glazed over, but finally came to refocus on you. He smiled softly, and it was very identifiably sad.

Then, unpredictably, he said, "How about we don't talk about the world ending, and we talk about how there's a hot shower waiting for you in New York." And just like that, as quickly as that strange darkness flashed across his face, it was gone. Replaced with a bright expression and casual smile, Bucky's face was reassuring again.

"Shower sounds good," you agreed.

"And food. What do you feel like?"

"Pizza," you replied immediately. Pizza, always.

Bucky laughed. "Probably need something a bit more… nourishing than pizza, darlin'. Vegetables, ya know?" He almost surprised himself with how quickly he seemed to snap into a caring role. He'd not played that part since Steve was small, sick. It felt good. Natural.

It kept going like that for a while. Bucky's constant small talk chatter keeping you on the upside of consciousness. You weren't sure if he was doing it on purpose. If he was worried a nap would ruin future sleep, he was definitely mistaken.

An hour into the trip, you looked up at him again. You'd sunk deeper into him. "Thought you said you don't talk that much,"

"Don't normally… Why? You got a problem, punk? Am I boring you?" he teased, poking your side a little. You tried to swat him away but you used your injured hand. The bandages frayed and dirty moving through the air were a sudden reminder. Warm. Safe. Comfortable. Almost happy, even. But that wasn't the case everywhere. Even if the terror seemed so far away, it was still just out there. You went quiet.

Bucky repositioned you in his arms then, dragging you across the back seat so he could sit on the far left, leaning half on the backrest and partly on the door. He held you so you could fall back on him entirely. His right arm was a secure vibranium seatbelt. His left one was free to move his hand around. He settled on running fingers through your hair. Surely it was full of knots and grit, but he didn't seem to find them. Very quickly, you fell into a shallow nap.

…

Bucky was trying to wake you gently, but you were hard to stir. He laughed as you frowned hard, slowly coming out of a fitful sleep. When you sat up and looked around, you were confused. The car was no longer in motion, and had come to park. It was difficult to see out of the tinted windows. "Where…?" you mumbled, not bothering with the rest of the question.

"We're home," Bucky replied, getting out of the car and closing the door. Inhumanly fast, he was opening the door on your side, offering a hand to help you out.

Shaky on your feet, you let Bucky's hands linger around you as you found your footing. Looking back into the car, you couldn't stop the natural urge to check you had everything - your wallet, phone, keys… But those things didn't exist anymore.

"Do you want any of that?" Bucky asked you, motioning to the sleeping bag.

Your head was shaking no before your mind had really decided, and you closed the car door with slightly too much force. Wincing at the loud thud, Bucky felt bad for you. He often felt bad for people; everything he'd been through somehow made him more empathetic.

"Stark doesn't normally just let people in the back door like this… But it means if you wander off F.R.I.D.A.Y. will probably lock you in a room."

It was easier to nod than ask who 'Friday' was and how they'd locked you in a room.

Bucky took your hand and began to walk. Stark Tower was designed to be somehow both easy to navigate but just as easy to get trapped in - just in case that's what Stark wanted. As Bucky led you down hallways and into multiple elevators, you knew you'd never be able to find your way out without him. It didn't bother you much. The world beyond the Tower was frightening and cold.

The only thing you really took notice of was the distinct lack of people around. Between the car and Bucky's suite, you only passed two others. There was an agent in the first elevator. She greeted Bucky with a monotone, "Sergeant," before hitting the button for twentieth floor, apparently knowing Bucky's path.

The second person was a little more animated, but also addressed Bucky as Sergeant. When he said it though, it felt like a term of respect and endearment. "Serge!" he called as he turned the corner into the hallway you were making your way down. "Heard you'd be here, Sergant." Bucky stopped to shake and pat the back of the man. He was dressed like the driver and elevator agents, but seemed far less robotic in his professionalism.

"Yeah, taking some quick R&R. I'll be back out soon,"

"Take your time. Don't think you owe us overtime or nothing," the agent said, smiling wide.

Bucky shrugged and stepped to continue on his way, his hand still holding yours firmly. "Be safe, yeah?"

"Always, Serge. You get some rest."

In the next elevator, Bucky ran his thumb over the back of your hand. "Figured you're too tired for introductions," he offered quietly. Smiling weakly, you nodded. "Don't worry - he'll go ask someone about you as soon as he can… Bunch of gossips."

At the door to Bucky's suite, he didn't produce a key of any sort. Simply, he said, "Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.," out loud. You looked around, confused, then the door made a small clicking sound and Bucky opened it.

Inside, coming simultaneously from everywhere and nowhere a warm voice greeted you both. "Good evening Sergeant Barnes. Welcome Y/N,"

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., I told ya to just call me Bucky,"

"Boss says only your friends call you that," the voice retorted. You could hear the sass in her voice.

It stumped Bucky, and he smirked and looked around, annoyed he couldn't face any one spot to speak to her. "Did Stark tell you not to be my friend?"

You thought maybe… she… had gone, but then, "Boss isn't the boss of me… Bucky."

Bucky laughed, and the sound made you spin to face him. His nose was crinkled up in amusement and he put his hands on his hips. Bucky noticed you watching. "That," he pointed up at the ceiling, "…is F.R.I.D.A.Y. She's Stark's… A.I. Kinda runs the place. If you need anything, just ask her. She can hear you anywhere,"

"But I only come when called," she added, seemingly disapproving of the creepy explanation Bucky offered.

"Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.,"

"You're welcome. Have a good night."

You were still looking around for her when Bucky laughed again as he watched you. "Takes a bit to get used to, but you will. If me and Steve can, you can."

Nodding in response, you glanced around the space. Already it was overwhelming. There were floor to ceiling windows, and you could see all of New York from them, even from the other side of the room. You couldn't regulate your emotions. It was like anything you'd felt in your life had a sudden renaissance, all of them fighting to have their fifteen seconds of control of your mind and body.

Slowly, Bucky approached. It wasn't until he was right in front of you that you even noticed him.

"What do you need?" he asked, reading your expression and each movement of your body very carefully. "Don't answer that… You probably don't know what you need, yeah? How 'bout… Shower first."

He was patient. He could probably stand in the one spot for hours without moving if he needed to - if you wanted him to. But you didn't, of course. The problem was that you didn't really know what you wanted. Logically, you knew you should eat. Sleep. Clean. Facing choice, free will, for the first time in days felt alien.

"I…" you tried, but your voice was shaking and didn't sound familiar. "I… I don't know… Can… Can you just…"

What exactly were you asking for?

"Look after you?" Bucky tried.

Aim. Fire. Bullseye.

You nodded, bursting into tears. Bucky closed the gap between you, wrapping you up in his arms like he'd done before. Your own arms were folded, pressed tightly between your chest and his.

"Here's what we're gonna do, darlin'," Bucky whispered, not trying to hush you. "We're gonna get you in the shower, then put you in bed. Go from there…" He kissed the top of your head. "I got you, Y/N."

Chapter 3.

#mine #Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes fanfic #Bucky Barnes fic #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes/Reader #Bucky Barnes x Y/N #Bucky Barnes/Y/N #Bucky Barnes/You #Bucky Barnes x You #Marvel fanfic #Marvel #Marvel fic #So Far Away

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dregstrash · 6 years

Text

a new soc and ck fan with some thoughts about Kaz Brekker (also a little about inej/kanej)-- it’s going to be a little long

I just finished both books last week and honesty, I have so many thoughts about one of my most favorite characters Kaz freaking Brekker that I am just going to write down because I can’t hold it in.

FIRST OF ALL

- I’ve never read a character so perfectly characterized as an anti-hero with a perfect storm of chaotic neutral and just a hint of chaotic good as Kaz “Bastard of the Barrel” Brekker. The self-proclaimed monster that he is, wasn’t because he was born a certain way or because he was part of some bigger prophecy. The fact of the matter is that Kaz was born into a loving family that fell on bad times. He was born to trust his older brother, maybe even idolize him, and see the good in people. So when that was taken away, when he realized that something darker lay about the world, especially in the hot mess that is Ketterdam he forced himself to start a new-- to survive. And if I may borrow a quote from dear sweet Inej, “The heart is an arrow, it demands aim to land true.” And truer words could not have been spoken in the case for Kaz. To survive means to have purpose, to have a reason to join a gang and rise up from the ranks, to have a reason to be ruthless, to have a reason to be angry at the world that took everything away. Kaz Brekker used vengeance as his target and in doing so has given him a “renewed life” just like he stated to Pekka about being reborn.

- Another thing about writing him as the perfect anti-hero/chaotic neutral. I know that at some point in his journey to vengeance and money, he realized that he couldn’t be left with weakness (i.e. human emotions). I think a common thing to look for in these anti-heroes is that sliver of humanity, that good deed that proves that these people aren’t as bad as we think or they think they are, that in some way they are redeemable. And I am definitely one of those people who try to see the good in everything, but in Kaz’s case I honestly believe that he is the purest form of anti-hero. He does things because they get him something. He lies because he has to. He threatens because he means it. He is blunt about what he wants (with the exception of Inej, but more on that later). But more to that, he doesn’t/never wanted to be a hero, he told Inej that countless times. He had to destroy any sort of altruism within himself because he had to, again as we’ve learned Weakness would get you killed in The Barrel. He did good things not because they were good, but because he really had to weigh the advantages and disadvantages. And that’s why I love him so much. He’s fearless. He doesn’t care. He knows that his life is short-- maybe even revels in the fact that he hasn’t died yet. I have never met/encountered a character who was so carefully crafted to be so cruel, yet so compelling and makes me care about him so much.

SECOND OF ALL

- INEJ. Freaking Inej Ghafa. His little Suli idealist. The Wraith. The only person in the whole entire Grishaverse that knew him, that knew his weakness, that knew her own worth, that knew enough that she couldn’t be the one to save him. In the case of Kaz, I love love love the fact that she acknowledges that she has feelings towards someone who had made the conscious effort to try and act cold towards her. She acknowledges and chooses instead to let him make the first moves because heaven knows that she wasn’t going to pine after him forever. And that fact alone forced Kaz to acknowledge that a small part of him that was still human. Whether or not the Bastard of the Barrel acknowledges it, Inej changed him in a way that no other member of his crew could ever fathom of changing him. Inej made him want something other than vengeance, power, money, etc. Inej made him try to face the waters that threatened to drown him every time his skin touched another person’s skin. Inej made him acknowledge that he was a monster, but that didn’t mean that a monster had to be completely heartless. Inej’s decision to be herself and to focus on her own goals beautifully brought out this side of Kaz that he didn’t even want to admit. That is undoubtedly one of the most badass moments ever.

- That scene at the end of Crooked Kingdom killed me. It was right before Inej met up with Kaz. It was when she was planning to buy a ship, gather what crew she could, and making plans to go to her homeland. She as reflecting about the meeting with Kaz. She was acknowledging that she would see him one last time, act like everything was normal because she would not let herself hang onto the Kaz she knew before the Ice Court Job. Her whole plan to just report to him what she heard and leave him to run his gang and let him go, was absolutely ruined-- not completely anyway-- because Kaz came to her without his armor. Talk about full freaking circle. Now was it what Inej wanted? I don’t know, but it certainly meant a lot to her. Kaz had made the conscious effort to take his gloves off. He made the decision to prove that he was willing to try, to fight his traumas, if only to get her to return. Not to abandon her mission, but to return to him as she saw fit. He let her brush against his knuckles. He let her hold his hand. He let her intertwine his fingers through his. Then of course we get the iconic “Is my tie on straight” scene and that was the epitome of a story that ended with the right amount of hope for the future.

AND FINALLY

- I don’t know if this is controversial, but I’m glad that we didn’t get a Kanej kiss. At first, like any good shipper, I was disappointed because after all this time, after the slow-burn romance of course I wanted a sweet kiss that would’ve made the ship “officially” canon. But honestly, I think the hand-holding scene at the end of Crooked Kingdom was pretty clearly an indication that it Kanej was canon. Just because we didn’t get the Nina/Matthias treatment of their relationship, does not make their progression to hand-holding any less valid. If we had gotten a Kiss from Kanej, I don’t think that would have stayed true to Kaz’s character, or Inej’s for that matter. Both of them have been through literal hell, and that largely involves their bodies. Kaz can’t handle skin on skin. Inej has had more than her fair share of sexual abuse. For them to suddenly share a kiss would be a disservice to their characters. Kaz still has a long way to go before he could ever think about kissing someone. Sure, he has said that he wanted to kiss Inej. He has made it clear that he has definitely pined after her, but his past traumas are still very much prevalent in him. It’s not an illness that is solved because of “the one.” It’s an illness that is fought step by step (or brick by brick if you catch my drift). So the hand-holding is that first step. I’m sure it was taking everything he had to keep the drowning waters at bay. I’m really sure he had to take several long deep breaths and reminders of who he was touching before it was comfortable for him to continue to hold Inej’s hand. It felt more natural and even more intimate than any kiss for Kanej to stand in front of the ocean holding hands because it was something Kaz had never dreamed of ever trying.

- Of course, in the future hopefully, I still want them to have that tender kiss because I am a shipper and I am allowed to dream. But that could take a while and honestly, I’m fine with that. Just the acknowledgement that both of them would fight with each other instead of trying to heal something within them they couldn’t heal is more than enough to make me happy.

#kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows #crooked kingdom #really long meta #leigh bardugo #kanej #bastard of the barrel #the wraith #ketterdam

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rivkyschleider · 4 years

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Critical Analysis

The Body Keeps the Score. Bessel Van Der Kolk, p 242-245

Bessel Van Der Kolk begins the section on Art, Music and Dance by acknowledging the effective work of expressive therapies in the context of trying to understand just how helpful talking therapy is for dealing with severe trauma. From a neuroscience point of view, little is known about their mechanism, and discovering which specific aspects of traumatic stress these expressive therapies address presents an enormous financial and logistical challenge. Van Der Kolk recognises the usefulness of expressive therapies to bypass the speechlessness that comes with terror. He broadens the scope of this passage by relating the discussion to treatments that are used around the world in many different cultures. It is unfortunate that he does not write more about the vast range of interventions that experts have developed for clients with different issues and specific cultural sensitivities. There is much to explore on this matter, and I hope to give it due attention later in my studies.

Van Der Kolk cites an example of a thorough study involving three groups of participants. The first disclosed a traumatic event through dance and movement, then wrote about it; the second group danced but did not write about it; and the third group simply did routine exercise. The results were tracked and only the first group had objective evidence to mark their improvements, although all three groups of participants reported feeling happier and healthier. The conclusion of the study was that it appears that health requires translating experiences into language.

The author considers studies that address the reduction of PTSD symptoms following writing interventions and notes their lack of convincing results. It is reassuring to read that he discusses this with Pennebaker, the man behind the study stated above. Pennebaker responds by reminding him that these studies were mostly conducted in group settings with an expectation to share stories among the group members. Van Der Kolk asserts his opinion that the point of writing is to write to yourself.

I would add that art can also form a concrete document that you communicate to yourself. The maker can confront his story and the art forms a bridge between avoiding the pain and knowing the pain. In addition, art therapy done with a therapist offers opportunities for a verbal component, which can be transformative.

The next section deals with the limits of language; some causes and effects. He quotes Paul Fussel who explains that the English language does not lack descriptive words or phrases for terrible events, but listeners do not want to hear them. “We have made unspeakable mean indescribable: it really means nasty”. Van Der Kolk opens this point up to look at other reasons that talking about traumatic events, not just war, is often so difficult. People can be rejected for exposing negative stories or become alienated for seeming to be stuck in the past. I would add that so often it is not safe for a victim to make a disclosure when there are family members who are complicit, in denial, or simply not able to respond appropriately. Talking of bereavements may trigger the reactions of the other mourners. Here he counters this deadlock with a recommendation for survivor groups, a safe place where stories can be told, and recovery is possible.

His next point is advocating for victims of trauma to seek professional therapists trained to cope with hearing harrowing sagas. He is humble enough to tell us of a time he was overwhelmed by a veteran’s disclosure, giving credence to the requirement that therapists have their own therapy. He pays particular attention to the self-care that is so crucial to enabling us to care for our clients. He uses the phrase “remain emotionally available” to denote the task of the therapist to meet the client with a deeply human encounter to match the courage and vulnerability it took to share a personal story. This dispels a myth, an outdated model of therapy where the therapist is seen to be a blank canvas, listening objectively, neutrally.

Still on the topic of the limits of language, Van Der Kolk discusses what happens when trauma victims become too distressed to articulate their narrative, such as in a courtroom. The setting is not so relevant to art therapy, but the neuroscience behind it is very applicable. If the language area of the brain shuts down, the person will sound chaotic, fragmented or perhaps evasive and incoherent. The real problem is that the brain of the trauma victim is so affected by the trauma that remembering the events triggers an experience like a re-run of the actual event! The reaction we see may be a coping mechanism that was vital to survival in the first instance. All of this is explained in detail in the rest of the book. Consequently, therapists have learned to “pendulate”, meaning approaching the facts gently and then retreating so that the client is not overwhelmed.

My contribution to this point is that in many ways art therapy is a method of pendulating. The therapist provides art materials and the client is free to make abstract representations of feelings as an oblique way of getting near to the story. Alternatively, drawings executed in metaphorical terms need not be translated in the initial stages of therapy. For example, a picture of a stormy sea holds meaning for the victim, while the therapist still does not know any details, only that there was torment. Children can be invited to draw animals or toys experiencing the abuse they themselves lived through. Again, this keeps the horror at arms’ length while still providing a means of communication for the hurt child. Finally, a client can draw their history, fold it up and not share it with the therapist until such time as the necessary resilience and self-regulation are in place for sharing with another person.

These two pages from the book The Body Keeps the Score have analysed the dual nature of talking about trauma. On the one hand it brings healing, yet it can also hurt, and no one wants to make somebody suffer unnecessarily. The field of expressive therapy is rich with techniques that honour the sensitivity needed for such difficult work. I would have liked to see more from him on this route to treatment.

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