Life update sorta!
So, something I know a looooot of my followers and long time mutuals might not know, is I have some FUCKED UP genetics when it comes to bone/teeth problems. And fam, my teeth have finally hit the last leg of being useful. Some teeth stuff under the cut so if you're not comfortable, please don't feel like you have to read it! I just wanna get some stuff off my mind.
Like, I'm missing bits and chunks of them left and right. The worst thing was I didn't know I had fucked up genetics when it came to my teeth, I thought that my time while homeless and also the fact that I have chronic dry mouth from all my meds was what fucked me over.
Originally I finally was in a position to start trying to see a dentist about 2 years ago to see what could be done and.. it was not good. It was not a very good visit where I was literally chastised, demeaned, and treated like garbage and told that it would take around 30k to fix my teeth fully. That's $30,000.00 total, to somehow fix my teeth so that I could just chew like a normal person, so that I could stop being in constant seering pain. That's the price of like, a brand new model car for someone in America. How the fuck is ANYONE supposed to manage that?
I cried. I legit sobbed on the car ride home. I just got out of being homeless, was finally feeling like I could get somewhere on my feet, and it wasn't fair. I started to not take selfies anymore because my smile was just broken teeth, missing teeth, or bits and pieces just kinda.. stuck in my gums anymore.
About 6 months ago, I finally just.. started to read up on dental things, one being just.. looking at dentures. I kept thinking to myself that dentures are for older people, and the dentist who gave me the quote for 30k said 'dentures are messy and difficult to deal with, you wouldn't want to subject yourself to that'. But I wasn't buying that the more I thought about it. Abuse victims, kids with bone problems, you never know who truly has or uses them. And to be honest, what's more important? Some high and mighty road and lots of pain financially and physically? Or just.. getting dentures?
So I talked to the wife, and kinda bounced the idea back and forth with her. Dentures actually sounded so much easier than this pain I was dealing with daily. At this point I was taking prescribed pain meds alongside an extra tylenol just to get through the day. Round the clock, every day, it's just.. exhausting. Like I want to be able to not worry about the pressure in the air making my jaw feel like it's gonna explode, and I can't even brush my teeth without my gums bleeding and bits of teeth crumbling more and more (and I use a kids small tooth brush that's extra soft cause I have a tiny mouth).
After searching, reading, and hearing other folks talk, I found an article about a woman in her 30s who had similar problems like I did. She had all her teeth pulled, and got dentures right away and she was SO much happier. She made jokes about gumming her boyfriend when he was being a jerk, or being able to spit them out and freak out people who were arguing with her. It was so humbling to read someone else's experiences who was around the same age as me. So, my decision was made. I was gonna just get these fuckers ripped out and get dentures. No more holes in my teeth, no more feeling like less of a person because I had to avoid eating things, or I try to eat something with guests around and I literally break a tooth on said food (happened to me at a con I was staffing and literally watched as a hunk of my tooth got stuck in the bread of my sandwich and had to act like nothing happened).
So I had a consult with this place I found about 20mins away, and for the first time I felt absolutely respected. I explained that 'Oh, my teeth kinda.. got to the point that I couldn't really use them anymore and I was in a lot of pain and it was just.. time'. And the dentist looked at me after looking at my mouth and apologized for whatever told me that this was my fault. He said this is actually a genetic problem that causes the teeth to crumble like this, that's why they've just been falling apart and exposing the dentin. It's not the fact that I didn't take good care of them, it's because the dry mouth, my problems with bone density, all of it was affecting my teeth and was a common problem he saw. He told me this past summer he had to take out all the teeth for a 14 year old boy who was gonna start high school in a new area soon, and had the same problem I had. It's not that he wasn't good at brushing his teeth, he thought he messed up somehow too! But his Dad encouraged him that it's not his fault, and to get dentures would be far easier for him now, than to try and fight it off, beat himself up trying to always use the mask as a way to hide his smile, all of that. So they agreed, the son made feeling comfortable by his parents and went through with it. And in the end, he was the brightest person the office had seen that week. He couldn't stop smiling, and taking selfies, and was just overjoyed that he wasn't some 'loser' in the end. He could be happy again and not be in pain. That made me wanna cry. If this kiddo could do it, I could do it too. No more holding back and hiding myself forever.
And welp. Yesterday I literally got myself halfway done! I had my bottom teeth all yoinked, and got my bottom dentures fully settling in my gums now and it feels.. amazing. Like despite the fact that my face is still super swollen from them fighting some of the tricky shits that didn't wanna come out, I have taken more selfies now than I have since the start of the year. I actually have.. teeth! Teeth that look so normal in pictures, that I have to remind myself that they aren't real, but they're mine! I'm finding myself already wanting to decorate my dentures case and so ready for the top teeth to go next too. And thankfully, I've been saving up enough so that I've only paid about $5,000.00 total for the whole thing and it's totally paid off now! And if I ever wanna get them as dentures implants in the years to come, it'll be so much easier to save up for because it wont be adding in the cost of extracting all these teeth too.
My top teeth appointment is for the 21st of the month, we would have done it all in one day but I had 2 absolute lil bastards of molars that did not wanna budge and both of them took about 30mins each to finally budge. But it's worth it. Like.. the fact that I'm literally not going to be hiding my face or wincing in pain every damn day is going to be so worth it. I've got my cute lil dental case and I'm gonna draw Bill Cipher on it and write 'Deer Teeth' (if you understand that ref... good) and am just so excited to start doing make-up again and spicing up my look.
I just started therapy too, and my Psych doctor was excited to see the teeth progress too, she knew that it was weighing my down recently, and seeing how happy and bubbly I was made her day too. There's no stigma that I'm stuck with anymore now that it's happened. I'm finally feeling free. My wife loves the new me too, only because I'm so happy and going to be pain free (She loved my teeth no matter what)!
So uh, yeah, this was my status update about stuff that's been happening for me that's been important. <3 It's an uphill struggle to get through the healing part, but I'm just so ready to rock a way more happy smile for my birthday this year. Maybe I'll finally take pics of myself blowing out candles and such! Who knows?