#we need to save morty from rick and morty because how did he go from this to whatever s7 has him doing.

[sorrelpaws]

WHO'S STUPID NOW BITCH

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #we need to save morty from rick and morty because how did he go from this to whatever s7 has him doing. #HE NEEDS TO GET ANGRIER IMMEDIATELY HE NEEDS TO KILL RICK #like we need this freak back. WHY IS HE SO TAME i need to kill the writers #CAN HE GET PISSED OFF BCS OF RICK AGAIN. CAN WE DO THAT.

[thesoftboiledegg]

Well, that was one hell of an episode.

I'll start with what we're all thinking: it's disappointing that the sweet moments that Rick and Morty shared in "A Rick in King Mortur's Mort" weren't real. "Little junebug" and the hug in particular were so loving. Admittedly, Rick seemed out of character, but I loved seeing his grandfatherly side.

However, I don't think it's entirely a bad thing. "Rick" changed way too quickly, and Morty forgave him too quickly. It let Rick off the hook when Morty deserves to tell Rick how much he hurt him. Rick needs to face what he's done, not make up with a quick hug and nice words.

And I mean--Rick could have programmed that robot to be cruel. He could've programmed him to mentally beat the family down so they wouldn't bother the real Rick. Or he could've programmed to be the same as he is. Why not? But he programmed that robot to be gentle and loving: the grandfather that Morty deserves. The one that Rick would've been in another lifetime.

I love how the robot also pointed out that anything that he did, Rick technically did himself. Rick programmed the robot to act that way.

"Rick and Morty is about how nothing matters!" Bullshit. The robot wasn't just a replacement Rick. Yes, Rick built him because he was being a petty asshole, but he could've made that robot an abusive piece of shit to be an even pettier asshole. Instead, the robot showed us Rick at his best.

I was glad that the episode clarified that Rick made the robot at the beginning of the previous episode so that we didn't have to wonder how long we'd been watching a Rick stand-in.

Rick still did everything else this season. He willingly went to therapy, spent time with his family, helped Jerry when he didn't need to (and side-eyed the family for making fun of him), told Morty that he loves him, threw himself on top of Morty to protect him, showed him physical gentleness, told him that his life matters, tried to be a better father to his daughters, and abandoned his revenge quest in "Solaricks" when Morty called him "Grandpa." He's still changing.

And this is the same man that's making himself crazy as he tries to hunt down Prime Rick. He abandoned that for a moment for the Smiths.

Even in this episode, Rick was tame compared to his past behavior. He's still crabby and somewhat distant, but he's far from the monster that he was in "The Rickchurian Mortydate" (and again, another brilliant callback to season three.)

Still, my heart breaks for Morty. All he wants is for Rick to love him. Rick does love him, but not in the way that he needs. His parents aren't exactly great, either--the Smiths might do more together as a family, but wake me up when Morty has another episode with Beth or Jerry. We've got, what, one of each? And his episode with Jerry was all the way back in season one.

Morty's repressed rage isn't going anywhere, either. I was shocked when he tried to kill the president. He's been racking up a body count since "Look Who's Purging Now" in season two, and I wonder how much worse he's going to get.

Not that I blame him after all the trauma he's experienced. The world had written him off as a nobody long before Rick showed up. Once, he was lonely and neglected. Now, Rick gives him plenty of attention and even affection, but he's also been selfish, abusive and just batshit crazy at times. When is it going to end?

I'm glad that this episode revived the tension between Rick and Morty--it's not a good thing, but it shows that Rick hasn't magically become a saint. It also shows that Morty's continuing to stand up for himself. And let's face it: we've got four more seasons to go. Their issues can't end here.

Maybe they'll split up for good. Maybe Morty will try to kill him. Maybe Morty will snap and carve a path of destruction throughout the galaxy. Maybe Morty's love will save him.

On a lighter note, I LOVED it when Rick said that the president and his inventions would give him "neurotypical cooties." I thought the writers had forgotten that Rick is autistic before season six. Nope, they haven't--and the series is blatant about representation.

No "Haha we code Rick as autistic! We won't state that in the show though lol!" No accidental portrayal, like Sheldon Cooper, that's offensive to the autistic community. Rick is autistic, and the show's going to rub your face in it. Cry about it, dudebros who say that Rick is neurotypical (and yes, they say that. I've seen it!)

The cliffhanger also made me ecstatic. It's everything that I wanted from a cliffhanger. Season five had a decent one, but it wasn't about Rick's character or backstory. It was just the usual "Damn, how are they going to get out of this?"

I can't wait to see Rick chase Prime in season seven. I'm also hoping that the show will become more serialized as it goes on. I've been saying for a while that making it increasingly successive and going full serialization in season ten would be gutsy and thrilling to watch.

Overall, this was a great season that seems to be building up to something even greater. The new writers clearly love and respect the show. They brought up concepts that I thought the show would never touch again, like Morty liking science (has that ever come up before? He has a bunch of science stuff in his room, but the show didn't touch on it.) All the callbacks were great and never seemed like nostalgia bait. They were loving tributes to the series.

And the new writers seem to like us, lol. They were clearly trying to please our "side" of the fandom.

Rick paused his revenge quest for his family, but he didn't end it. He'll do almost anything to kill Prime. Anything to eliminate the suffering that he can't drown with abuse and alcohol. Anything to make the pain go away for the last time.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #ricktional mortpoon's rickmas mortcation #review #rick and morty season 6 #rick and morty season six

[ultraviolet-explosion]

Rick and Morty comic: (I think it was part of the bird person comics)

And also, let's not forget how jealous Rick's seemed when Birdperson got married, and how extremely drunk he was at his wedding.

And the fact that Rick risked his life to go into BP's mind and save him, even though he could die. And in "Rickternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mort" Birdperson and Rick has many small conversations, but this one stood out (to me): Birdperson says that people don’t get to choose who they love, and Rick responds with:“You got that right, why do you think I’m still fucking down here?”

This part: "You met me on my way to save a very old, very real friend after a lifetime of reality. I met you on your way to a fairy tale at Blood Ridge." Rick might have thought that BP would go along, and everything would be perfect.

Also the whole blood ridge scene... I mean, Rick opened up towards BP, he directly told him that he'd like to go on adventures with him, and be with him all the time. Blood ridge wasn't BP's big day, BP's big day was most likely his wedding, but I think it was Rick's big day... He probably got his heart broken in a way.

[ Rick: Come with me.

BP: To somewhere…nearby?

Rick: Anywhere. E-Everywhere.

BP: Rick, I don’t expect you to keep fighting, but this war is —

Rick: Far from over, I know. Dude, I share this with almost nobody, but… I could take you, right now, to this same battlefield, in a universe where we lost, or another where we won, or another where the war never even happened. All equally real, all equally unreal. None of it matters.

BP: Then why did you help?

Rick: Because I respect you. And I wanted you to know you could respect me.

BP: Even though nothing matters?

Rick: Okay. You matter — to me.

BP:Uh, the relationship that we have…

Rick: I never used that word! (This is embarrassment, the normal reaction to it.)

BP: …is not worth my integrity

Rick: It’s not a complicated transaction, my man. “Would you like to join me doing awesome shit that matters?” “No, I would not. I would rather be a judgmental dork.” Case closed. Really no need to drag it out.

BP: If you need me, use the beacon.

Rick: Yeah, I’m gonna use that beacon a lot. I hope — hope I don’t wear it out.]

There's no denying Birdrick.

#birdrick #rick and morty #bird person #rick #rick sanchez #you can't deny it

[piss3dm3nk3n]

My thoughts are jumbled and all over the place but honestly i just wanted to rant abt the new ep bc OMG! 

newest ep of Rick and Morty was literally (almost) what i predicted. Like, I didn’t say it on Tumblr and I’m mad I don’t have record of this but the idea of Rick being faced with the choice of saving a life or leaving was literally in my mental notes of things rnm should do. Like the character development!!! And the fucking idea that Rick probably saw HIMSELF in Piss Master; like people calling him a shitty dude, the suicide scene and his face after reading the letter (Just like the fucking Unity episode!!! Before he tries to take his own life FUCK omggg). AND PISS MASTERS DAUGHTER!!! How Rick was probably thinking of Beth in that moment and how he himself tried to commit in his own daughters house (the father / daughter relationships in this show man, fuuuck), MAN that was a crazy scene. I remember watching the Unity episode going ‘damn’ and seeing the newer episodes of rnm still provoking that exact same feeling from me is insane writing. Man was going through it.

The way the writers handled the whole suicide thing was so well done as well, like it’s a comedy and in the past a lot of comedies find it hard to tackle serious topics but rnm does this stuff perfectly! The Piss Master thing for example, Mr Jellybean even Planetina and the Morty and Beth afterwards ectect. 

Analyse piss was honest to god, such a good episode! god, is was so heart wrenching I loved it!! The character development, not just from Rick but from Morty near the end of the ep. Like he doesn’t deal with Rick bs anymore, if he’s uncomfortable with smth he’ll speak up now. AND Jerry too! man actually stood up for his daughter! like he went from leaving Beth to fend for herself against a random homeless man to fighting a man who controls piss for his daughter!!! LOVE!!! 

And I love how the ending is bittersweet! there’s still so much for the family to get through to actually be a healthy functioning family. Like Rick needs a friend, like now! Because he really can’t just trauma dump on Morty like that. But even then I can understand why he did and it makes me feel even more ARUGH! Like let Rick have Birdperson again, or like that guy from the toilet ep, or have Dr Wong in more episodes!!! Like he really should have gone to Dr Wong bc the whole Piss Master thing was clearly bugging him. 

AND OFC DR WONG!!! I LOVE her character, the way she is able to have Rick listen to her just like that! She’s so intelligent and is practically the opposite to Rick in the way she is more smart emotionally rather than all that scifi shit. OMG and Rick falling for her bait where she eggs him on to try and ‘prove her wrong’ (THE INDIRECT THERAPY AHHH! When he realises she was right and that he ended up getting everything he asked for = therapy is good omgggg). I loved how the episode wasn’t just Rick sitting in her office going through his bullshit. Rick dealing with his issues through a more indirect way is def in character for him and more realistic for the show. I really hope we see Wong more in future episodes cause she is just mauw! I just love the way therapy is treated as a great thing in this show, bc I know my own experience at first was daunting but in the end (like Rick) lot of people realise just how great talking to a therapist is.

Just overall, a great episode, great writing, funny, sad, a very satisfying ep to watch.  

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #rnm #r&m #jerry smith #beth smith #summer smith #dr wong

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "Hailey's On It (2023)"

The evidence for the idea that much of todays entertainment is being written by ai is starting to pile up. There's so many of these shitty generic soulless cartoons now. The older I get the more I realize the old advice not to judge based on appearance was total bullshit. I can look at this show within 5 seconds and know it's going to be bad because it looks cancerously poorly drawn. It looks cheap and generic, you know when you are scrolling through a streaming service and you scroll past all these shitty looking cartoons that all look exactly the same and look so unbelievably unappealing that you wonder if there's even a single person on the planet who saw it and decided to click on it…it's one of those. It's like someone went to one of those ai art things and said give me a terrible looking cheap netflix childrens cartoon with ethnically ambiguously brown characters and it shat out ten thousand examples and they turned every single one into a show.

Then they gave the writing ai the prompt, write me a generic sanitized for all audiences childrens cartoon but fill it with progressive politics and sexualization. Then they write a brief one dimensional description of each character input the premise of the show and bam writing is done. I'm making a joke about how bad it is but it's so bad in the exact way I'm describing that what I'm saying is also completely plausible. I feel like i've reviewed this show before at least 3 times it's just so generic and shitty in all the same ways as every other cartoon being made in the last couple years.

The jokes are so flat they almost don't even exist. The main character will be riding a bike and run into a bunch of stuff and go "oh you were telling me to avoid that stuff." Beyond that there are no jokes there's just out of place sarcasm. It's like they copied the form of humour but left out the joke...like there's a setup and a punchline but they don't go together or it will be punchline with no setup or context. Like Michael scott shouting that's what she said but without anyone saying anything that could be heard as being sexual.

The premise of the show is stupid it's that this girl makes a list of stuff she wants to do and by doing her list she saves the world, which she knows because a time traveller from the future where Serena Williams is president came back to tell her. Because we all know if brown girls just did what they wanted without anyone stopping them they would be able to do whatever they want and would save the world from climate change. At least when Rick from Rick and Morty can do almost anything it makes a little sense because he's spent his entire life inventing and learning how weird sci fi shit works Hailey is just a young girl who's magically a scientist action hero, mary sue to the max.

It's like if you took all the humour out of My Name is Earl added in all of the progressive horseshit, then took all the humour and sci fi philosophy out of rick and morty took out any comedic looking animation and combined them…then wrote out all the whites, straights and men. I didn't see a single white character and i think there was only the one guy.

This is a kids show with children there's no need for there to be any sexualization at all, there's stuff about two girls kissing and her first to do list item is to kiss her friend. Two kids kissing is not a huge deal but it's a little weird in the context, they have all these other characters pressuring her to do it including a little robot who explains the mechanics of kissing like they're introducing it to kids for the first time…it's just gross and it's weird that it was written into the show it seems so unnecesary. Like make out with your friend or the world is going to end…seems like the kind of weird excuse some manipulative predator would make up to convince a kid to go along with something sexual. At one point they go through one of those tunnel of love rides while a song urges them to "kiss their friends, just do it don't be shy" and of course all the heart symbols along the ride are the pedo small heart within a larger heart symbol.

Awful, absolutely no redeeming qualities, don't let your kids watch it. Other than my ai argument I can't see how something like this keeps getting made.

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

#matsukawa headcanons #hanamaki headcanons #suna headcanons #matsukawa hcs #makki hcs #suna hcs #issei matsukawa #hanamaki takahiro #suna rintaro #matsukawa x reader #hanamaki x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #au #hq headcanons #hq mattsun #hq makki #hq suna #hqhcs #haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #xxxmars #tw/drugs

[bolly--quinn]

Why do you dislike Ford? Just curious because like, even though his reveal was super exciting and I loved how he fleshed out Stan's backstory, I also felt like Ford's subsequent episodes were really off for some reason. I won't go on too long about it, because I can list reasons forever, but it always bugged me that the show was presenting the conflict like 'oh, these guys, they just can't get along!' when like, it's mostly Ford's fault. The conflict doesn't feel balanced at all - I mean, Stan saved Ford and sacrificed so much and he doesn't even get a thank you. Meanwhile Ford blames Stan for way too many things, and the whole portal incident was an accident??? Stan didn't push him on purpose, honestly Ford should've installed some safety rails lmao.

It's just a shame because I love Gravity Falls, it's a fantastic show, but the Stan vs Ford conflict after 'Tale of Two Stans' felt so unbalanced and undeveloped after that. Stan is no angel of course, but Ford was incredibly unfair to the point of absurdity, which the show never addressed.

Anyway, thanks if you've read this far! I just wanted to hear your 2 cents. And I love your Rick and Morty takes btw :)

Oh yeah anon!!

Like I just felt like as a chracter he was just a bit insufferable tbh like he was really just so self-involved to me.

He held the grudge about the school thing for years and looked down on Stan ("I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life and you won't even listen"). He was so egotistical to me especially when so much of the problems that he ends up with are ... kinda his own fault?? (But what do you expect with science men who want to play God tbh)

I felt like his character was built up so much throughout the show (OMG THE AUTHOR SO MYSTERIOUS) and then it turned out that it was kinda just Stan's shitty brother and I was ... disappointed lol

And I felt like he just returned and then proceeded to vilify Stan ??? Barely interact with Mabel ??? Try to take Dipper under his wing ???? His ego was so inflated that he decided that Dipper didn't need to go to school be HE has 12 phds and that Dipper's parents would be thrilled about that ?? Like Dipper doesn't need to have a regular life with school and friends ??? Idk anon nothing about him sat right with me ...

Especially since Stan is such a great character !!! Like he's a conman with a heart of gold who loves his family, even his brother, despite being in "his shadow" in a way. I think this is why I loved Mabel and Stan more in general than Dipper and Ford tbh like Dipper and Ford were always so focused on the "exceptionality" of things whereas Mabel and Stan kinda just had to love their twins and hope for the best, not to be left out. Like the fact that when Dipper said he had never been apart from Mabel before and Ford's response was "isn't it suffocating" was the nail in the coffin for me (Like I don't have a sibling but even as an only child I could read that Dipper's reaction wasn't that he felt suffocated being with her but that he loves he and that they were really close but Ford's reaction was like "isn't it the worst? having someone who is always there for you?? who loves you???" idk man it just felt like a "genius" taking the people who love him for granted because he thinks he's better than them and I didn't like it)

Idk maybe it's because we didn't have much time with him before the series ended but I feel like with the time we did have, I didn't like him lol (like "Not What He Seems" is so top tier to me, even more than "A Tale of Two Stans")

#do i dare tag this? #sure why not #gravity falls #like i was obsessed with gf when it was on tbh #and NWHS changed me as a person #and then meeting ford was just soooo ugh #asks #no offence to people who like him but like ?????

[onealternativeaccount]

My Morticia trio

U-134: Wallflower Morticia (center)

One of the more run-of-the-mill, vanilla Morticias, similar to C-137′s Morty

Most Morticias are more social and confident than most Mortys, but U-134 is an exception, because of her poor eyesight, which requires prescription glasses and has kept her socially isolated

A Rick invisibly visiting her at a young age might have been responsible for her vision problems in the first place, as part of some experiment

Prior to her grandfather's "return" around the time she started high school, she was living a very mundane, quiet, and lonely life

In adventures she plays a passive, timid role, except when pushed to her limit - something that’s happened to her more and more over time

Lives in Summer’s shadow, envying and not envying her at the same time; everyone but Rick seems to give Summer more attention than her

She never really got over the trauma of finding out from Mr. Goldenfold’s dreams that he’s attracted to her

She only abandoned an Earth once, for the squirrels, and was allowed to remember it because it was her first time abandoning an Earth; it was a much longer squirrel-based adventure than we see in the snippet in Morty’s Mind Blowers, a whole episode’s worth, and was no less traumatizing than Rick Potion #9; she’s afraid of squirrels now

She had a fangirl crush on Vance Maximus, Renegade Starsoldier, and took it very personally when Rick killed him

She and Rick didn’t go to the Citadel much, but they were there on an adventure when it was destroyed (split up for separate A and B plots, Rick investigating Ricks, and Morticia investigating Morticias and Mortys), and she got isekaid to me along with U-114 and I-707

U-114: True Love Morticia (right)

A Morticia obsessed with romance, soulmates, and purity, always waiting for The One and always sure that he'll arrive any day now like in a Disney movie

Serene and faithful in her principles, it’s hard to shake her sense of peace

She imprinted on family stories about her parents’ early shotgun wedding, and sees it as beautiful and aspirational

A mostly normal Morticia before Rick showed up, but she chose to play up her idealistic side to contrast herself with Rick

Rick did not take kindly to this, and made several attempts to break her spirit (including showing her across dimensions how bad her parents are for each other, taking her to Gazorpazorp for a much longer adventure than C-137 went on, and taking her to Mormon Lizard Heaven, a dystopian marriage-focused afterlife), all of which backfired

One of these attempts was similar to Rick Potion #9, and similarly concluded with abandoning the Earth; she didn’t show much of an emotional response to this, so later when she abandoned her second Earth over the squirrels, she was also allowed to remember that, which also left concerningly little impact on her

She frequently wondered if the subject of her latest adventure was her one true love; close calls included Gazorpazorp bin Laden, Jaguar, and Fart

The final straw came when she started shipping Rick with Unity and decided to do a Parent Trap thing to set them back up with each other

Unity went yandere and started taking over the Earth, Rick abandoned the Earth and U-114 Morticia, and the Citadel abducted her as an abandoned Morticia (it’s free real estate!)

She lived in the Citadel for some time after, and became a moderately wealthy power player as assorted Mortys and a few Ricks attempted to court her; she politely turned down each

She had her own penthouse suite where she grew into an introverted shut-in, playing with a Story Train all day and fantasizing about the perfect domestic life she knew she was made for

A laughingstock for most of the Citadel’s Ricks

I-707: Bunny Ears Guard Morticia (left)

A more divergent Morticia from the more central Mortys we’re familiar with

Rick entered her life much earlier, when she was seven, and they hit it off as a team immediately

She visited and cleaned out Froopyland with her mom and Rick, and once it was deemed imaginary enough again, her mom gave that world to her as a gift

She correctly deduced that it was really Rick leaning on her mom to give it to her

She once saved her dad’s job by lying in front of Congress about an ad campaign that “unknowingly” incorporated hypnosis spirals known to cause seizures

She knew Krombopulos Michael as a close family friend; had reservations about his line of work but still liked him and his family, who frequently had dinner with the Smiths

When she was nine she butt-dialed Krombopulos Michael and accidentally had him kill her friend Jessica, who needed to be replaced with a clone; that was her Look On Down From The Bridge moment

After about five years of adventuring, when she was twelve, “her” Rick died in a tragic everyday Plumbus accident

To escape from her grief, she abandoned her family and moved into the Citadel, before the funeral was even over

This was the first time she’d abandoned an Earth, and she did it by herself, without Rick ever having directly told her to

She’s been putting in her best effort to rise through the ranks in the Citadel and impress people ever since

She overcompensates with a bubbly, manic, detached personality, inspired by Rick but as seen through rose-tinted glasses, so with less of a nasty edge

She’s an instant natural leader for most Mortys and Morticias she works with, and quickly charms most Ricks as well

She was kind of interested in selfcest but got scared off of getting too serious with it when she met Eraserhead Baby Morty, the offspring of a Morty/Morticia couple; she likes boys more than girls but she’s more interested in Morticias than Mortys

She might actually have been attracted to Rick but was more than uncomfortable enough with this to balance it out and repress it

She voted against President Morty but she acted like she voted for him once he won, because she’s a bit of a power-chasing sycophant

“another day working at the discharge cannon spire. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the discharge cannon. buddy, they won’t even let me fuck it”

Her dimension number is “LOLI” upside down

#my Morticias #not my art #I remixed it #don't bother the original artist please I don't have permission or anything #and actually this is forbidden to begin with

[lucianalight]

Your EQ post made me think I wished so much OUAT authors got the Loki show instead of the buffons we got. K&H did a good job, especially the early seasons, with characters struggling with identity and family issues, I wish Loki could have gotten some of that, or at least some of the decent therapy we saw in Lucifer. But we got a Mary-Sue creator and the Rick&Morty guy.

Also, I'd love to see TH work with Lana Parrilla, they're both such amazing actors and good people, they'd work amazingly together.

Pity it's just a dream.

*Major spoilers for OUAT and Lucifer*

OMG YES! I mean OUAT had lots of problems. It started good until S3 and then it went downhill after that. But it had the best redemption arcs for villains. Almost all the villains, characters who did far worst than what Loki did, got redemption and in a way that they didn't lose their dignity or characterization and they certainly weren't humiliated and beaten up constantly.

One of their best arcs was Regina's self-acceptance and self-love. When she hated herself so much that she ripped herself in two to try and destroy her dark side. The way they handled that arc left me awestruck. I didn't see it coming. I thought Regina was going to kill the Evil Queen and the thought of that left a bad taste in my mouth. But at the last moment Regina remembered when she'd looked at her reflection in the mirror, realizing she was the person she hated the most and how it broke her. She remembered her pain. And she realized she wasn't that person anymore. She didn't hate herself. She understood that what she always needed to heal was love. Loving herself more than anything and she shared that love among her love for others with the Evil Queen. I love that episode! And yes, I'd love to see Tom and Lana work together!

Lucifer is one of the best shows I've ever seen. With the exception of S3, every season was absolutely wonderful(my fave is S4). Lucifer is not even evil in this show. Yet from the start the show acknowledged his flaws and instead of scapegoating him, the way humanity did, showed how that affected his mental health. Explored his issues and how he hurt people sometimes because of them, and without putting him down created an arc to heal and redeem him. One of the arcs they handled beautifully was Lucifer's self-acceptance, or rather forgiving himself. Lucifer self-hatred was manifested as his devil form, without his control, covering all of his body(did you see how he cried that he didn't want to be a monster when he saw his devil wings the first time😭). When he decided that he wanted to forgive himself, his devil form went away and he was able to control it later as a means to save Chloe. And when he wanted to sacrifice what he loved, in order to protect Chloe and humanity, when he was able to saw the good in himself, his angel wings returned. (I really want to see the two Toms work together! :D)

Also notice in both of these arcs, their romantic relationship had nothing to do with it. Robin and his love didn't made Regina love herself. It helped her along the way but he wasn't the main reason for it. Chloe straight out told Lucifer that this isn't about her. That Lucifer has to forgive himself. Because the writers knew that romance, having a love interest, won't magically make you to accept and love yourself.

Now compare these two arcs to how Loki show handled the theme of self-acceptance and self-love. The narrative portrayed Loki as an incompetent attention seeking narcissist who needs a good beating up and humiliation to realize and confess that about himself. All of his tragic past and identity issues are ignored in favor of showing him a power hungry betrayer. His reaction to other Lokis is calling them monsters and he generally couldn't stand them. And his self-love and self-acceptance is handled through romantic love for another version of himself who is nothing like him btw. It's so disappointing. It takes lots of effort to have a beautifully written self-acceptance arc like Agent of Asgard for inspiration and manage to make sth so bad. It's truly baffling.

#sry for the long answer #i just really love those arcs for regina and lucifer #and they are two of my absolute favorite characters too #loki tv show negativity #regina mills #evil queen #ouat #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #anon #messages

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you like the backstory for rick? Idk I kinda preferred it when Rick's past was a complete mystery and i dont really care about diane at all. I didn't expect the writers to actually write a canon for him either but I guess they realised how much the audience wanted one for him

Ajdjdjeidjs ack, I'll be honest I'm not... keen on it.

(Bolly-quinn actually puts it into words well how I feel about Rick's backstory here)

I liked the mystery element of his backstory! I know it's always exciting to have things in canon, but like... it being open to interpretation was something I always appreciated.

And... ugh, hoo boy. I'm torn. I mean, I love that Rick is completely different from what dudebros and like- "high iq" redditors present him as. He's a man who loved his wife and daughter, loved them so much he would rather give up travelling the multiverse, becoming a genius scientist, just to stay with them. He was vulnerable, soft, and caring. He wasn't nihilistic and reckless and selfish and some "alpha male who wouldn't let anything tie him down". He was ridiculously romantic, optimistic, sweet and loving, and maybe even kind.

And I don't give a shit.

I don't! I don't care. This might sound incredibly cruel and unfair, but I don't care that Rick lost his family.

Ok- let me explain.

I'm... disappointed. I'm disappointed that losing Beth and Diane is all it was that made Rick into the complete and utter monster he is today (or the start of the series anyway). I don't mean to undermine his loss and grief- at all! It's just... for him to go on a (seemingly decades long) killing spree, slaughtering any version of himself he seemed to come across... christ. Maybe in his eyes, they were all as bad as that One. Which is understandable. I'm very lucky to have not experienced that kind of loss. I haven't had to Grieve the way Rick did. Maybe I just don't get it, because I've never felt it. That's fair.

It just felt... god, I don't want to say excessive. I know, people process grief in different ways, and for some it manifests in unhealthy ways, some lash out at the world, fixate on trying to find an explanation, to find justice, etc. And I like how Rick was an absolute inconsolable wreck at first. Something like that, it needs time to process and overcome before you can start moving again.

I just- I don't know. Something rubbed me the wrong way about it all.

It's like- it's not that I wanted Rick to have spent all that time partying or something. It's just- argh, i don't know! Maybe someone else can put it into better words lol.

I hate that he immediately jumped into not giving a single shit about other people (save birdperson and squanchy!). Like- when he blew up those aliens who gave him whatever it was he needed. Ah- ok, they probably weren't exactly innocent or anything, but still. I think it was just I felt if we ever saw Rick's backstory, I'd want it to be a slow decline into who he is, show him gradually losing so much of his morality and becoming so jaded. Idk i guess i just wanted it to be like, a series of significant (and lesser but still important) events that lead to him going down that path rather than- this ONE thing that just apparently completely ruined him? And yeah ik ik it was a BIG thing, but like- i guess i was expecting.... more? Maybe something like idk Rick trying to save all the other Beths and Dianes and failing, idk, just... something more.

I actually would have preferred it if Diane lived. I dont know, I just- man I really hate the dead wife/daughter turns ordinary man into callous asshole trope. I agree, it's hard to really care all that much for Diane, and for a while I couldn't understand why. I thought, idk, is it internalised misogyny? Do I just not like Diane because I want to ship Rick with someone else?

I think I get it now. Diane, for all her significance in Rick's backstory, just... isn't a character. She's just- the motivation Rick needed to kick off the story. You could replace her with literally anybody else Rick could have loved and it wouldn't feel any different. She just doesn't feel special. She's no more unique than any other Dead Wife. We get nothing, literally nothing of her. I kept thinking, why? Why does this just not hit that hard? Rick's had emotional moments with Beth, with Birdperson, even with Summer and Jerry. And then I got it- it doesn't feel earned. It felt like how you feel when you see side characters or extras in the background of an action movie die. Maybe some faint sadness, but mainly nothing. We as an audience get nothing from Diane, we don't know her, don't get to see how she matters to Rick, don't get to see her relationship with Rick, we don't get any chance to connect with her character. So when she dies and Rick gets his montage of seeking revenge, it doesn't feel earned. It feels more like I'm being told about how this guy suffered than really seeing it (which i believe, may have been the writers intention actually...). It's kind of like a feeling of "damn that sucks bro... and?". There's no real heavy emotional response that I could really get from it...

I actually would have preferred if Rick and Diane broke up, divorced. I feel like that would offer so much more for them BOTH as chatacters. Instead of their relationship being happy and sunshine and rainbows until a Big Bad came in and took that away, I'd prefer it if Rick's downfall was just... his fault. (Actually His fault.) If his marriage fell apart because he couldn't make it work. If he estranged his daughter because he couldn't properly handle fatherhood, despite loving her. If he was flawed, terribly flawed, because of his own misjudgement and shortcomings. I guess my biggest problem, is that this is presented as someone having the perfect life, which is then taken away as a result of someone Else. It's too easy to then say, oh, it's not his fault he's like that! He had his heart broken, his life ruined! He lost himself in a revenge spree, poor thing... I'd have rathered if it was just a little bit more... realistic? If Rick had been the root cause of his own problems. If he'd experienced tragedy, but also been the cause of much more. I just wish there'd been more of a balance? It just felt so rushed. And not because of the montage- it just like Rick became completely apathetic way too fast. I just hate hate HATE the "he was a good guy with the perfect little life until tragedy struck and he was never the same". Rick never made the effort to improve his life, to do better, to be better. He's actively a cruel, callous, unkind person (complex, yes, but these are traits no one can deny he harbours). He's done far worse than was done to him, and that will never be justifiable to me... it just all feels so very cliche and out of place, and out of everything, this was the one thing I had hoped they wouldn't do.

I think the writers are aware of this, strangely enough. I mean, Rick even calls it his "crybaby backstory". I think they didn't want to leave it open any longer, and just got it out of the way. I don't think they really want to elaborate on it anymore. From what I predict, they want to focus on the here and now of Rick (and Morty, haha), and the development of who Rick is NOW, instead of who he WAS. I think they kind of just went, here's your gut-punch, your tragic backstory, now leave it alone. Diane is dead, Rick had a hard past, the series is about moving on and change. Now can we PLEASE get back to the sci-fi shenanigans?

(There was something I LOVED about the backstory though, and that was the soundtrack! Like the music for the Battle of Bloodridge, it fucking SLAPPPEDDDD. I can't imagine making synthwave emotional, but it actually kind of worked! The swell of the music actually did a lot more for getting a reaction out of me than the content lmaooo. It kind of reminded me of Kurzegast's "optimistic nihilism" for some reason... I actually liked the Bloodridge track so much, it got me a little into synthwave, which i never listened to before! The music producers this season have just KILLED IT!)

#citrus speaks #long #ajdjsjdhaj im sorry i just have so many Thoughts on this #as critical as it sounds i promise i dont hate it that much #rant #is this a rant? it sounds like one akdnaja #RaM #Rick and Morty spoilers #rick and morty #RaM S5 finale

[thesoftboiledegg]

Dinnertime for the Rick stans. Yummy yum. I love fanservice, yummy yum yum.

Another great episode for season six. This has really been Rick's season so far, huh? Season five leaned that way (he even got an entire episode to himself, which was unheard of at the time), but season six is just like "Yeah, Rick stans, we're just going to give you what you want."

I suspected that this episode wouldn't have a B-plot because I'm not sure how much excitement the writers could wring out of the Smiths going to the zoo, lol. I think that would've detracted from the main plot. Also, it's nice to have a "straightforward" episode once in a while instead of one that bounces back and forth between different characters. This episode makes the most out of twenty minutes.

Still, I hope the next episode focuses on Rick and Morty because this season is in dire need of their dynamic. When I watched the end credits scene, I thought "Finally, Morty has something to do." He and Rick are great characters on their own, but the show doesn't click without both of them.

But yeah, the crew knew exactly what they were doing with that suit, lol. I half-expected it to be a thirty-second gag and was pleasantly surprised when he wore it for most of the episode (lmao why do I care so much? I'm a lesbian. But he looks so cute in it!) It's to the point that his suit jacket magically reappeared in the next scene after he dropped it on the floor during the fight. (Well, I guess he could have picked it up.)

Honestly, I also raised an eyebrow at the fight scene. One second in particular gave me "Look at how his lithe body twists 😏" vibes, especially with the angle. Also, how tall was that bodyguard? He was taller than Rick!

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but eh...I don't think I am. I get the impression that Rick fuckers have entered the writers' room.

Anyway, I was hoping we'd get to see how Rick and Jerry's dynamic has changed after Rick said in Bethic Twinstinct that he got drunk with Jerry one night, gave him the "pillbug protocol" that he wanted and got matching tattoos. This episode was the perfect follow-up.

It was surreal to watch Rick being nice to Jerry. He wasn't even THAT cold and distant with him. Did Rick even really have a reason to help him? He could've let Jerry just have sex with his mom and then mocked him for the rest of his life. Seasons 1-4 Rick would've cracked his shit up at that.

Once, Rick berated and humiliated Jerry at every turn. Now, he carries him through the air duct with a tentacle even though Jerry literally could have just climbed the ladder behind him. He sighs and rolls his eyes sometimes but helps Jerry throughout the episode without pitching a fit. No "Oh my God, Jerry, I'm only saving your stupid ass because my daughter inexplicably likes you!"

This COULD be out of character, but I don't think it was. It's another demonstration of how much Rick's growing and changing. The episode even explained the "human shield" gag from the trailer, which I assumed was the usual joke about how Rick hates Jerry so much that he's willing to let him die. He just did that because Jerry was immortal at the time.

And of course, just like Solaricks, Rick tries to put on his mask again at the end and act that he doesn't care about Jerry. He even slaps him as a last resort. But he can't keep up the act. Not anymore.

This sounds a little corny, but I liked how we saw a good combination of men, women and POC the board room. OK, I know that sounds like I'm trying to insert "wokeness" in a series that's not known for being "woke," but so many shows portray corporations as a bunch of white dudes and one token white woman to "keep the girlies from bitching about it."

Similarly, I liked the Gwyneth Paltrow/Elizabeth Holmes girlboss character. She was evil but not obnoxiously, gratingly evil. I didn't care for the hillbilly guy--he almost seemed like a character from a different show.

Also, random, but I love how the artists draw scenery. It sounds silly, but Panda Express actually looks like Panda Express. The zoo gift shop looks exactly like a zoo gift shop. The artists and animators create vibrant, lifelike scenery instead of generic stores and restaurants that make the world feel "real" and lived-in.

I'm guessing that none of them jumped on the Panda Express counter and demanded Szechaun sauce.

Speaking of the artwork, the art and animation in the last fight scene were incredible. I wonder if the animators were referencing the Run the Jewels "Oh Mama" music video, especially since Rick's wearing the same outfit. The lighting and design were similar.

This isn't a problem with the episode itself, but I do miss the surreal, brightly colored alien worlds from the first five seasons. Rick needs to fix his portal gun already, lmao. I love watching the show push its boundaries, but I don't want it to lose the adventurous, sci-fi aspect that makes it fascinating and entertaining to watch.

Overall, I think season five was the end of "old" Rick and Morty. Some say that it ended with season three, but seasons four and five still had similar tones, humor, plotlines and characterization. Season six is new territory. "Rickmurai Jack" was the transition point--the reveals irrevocably changed the show, and it can't go back now.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #jerry smith #final desmithation #review

[androgynousblackbox]

have you seen the latest RaM episode? I was hoping to see if you had any thoughts about it! I really liked the exploration and the going off the gotdamb rails with the decoys. Also that scene with rick just. dick out and making morty peek at his ass for No actual reason sndhs

Don't forget the fact that his family didn't questioned for a single second that it should be MORTY the one to look into Rick's ass, like there was never anyone else but Morty who should be do it. It was gross, sure, but also such a... "guys would be guys" moment but not in the violent/toxic way but on the silly and unnecesary way, you know? Like Morty called it "punishment" and, sure, nobody wants to be farted into their face, but I can see Rick pulling a similar move on just any friend he feels like pranking to and, on a way, that was kinda wholesome. Okay, so I am going to pour my thoughts about this and the other episode as I usually do here so bear with me: -The fact that Summer IMMEDIATELY picked on what could go wrong about the whole decoy thing, and Rick has to aknowledge that Summer was smarter than this on this regard. This to me is talking again about how Summer IS actually smarter, emotional and socially wise (meaning with interelationships at least), that she could tell that if one Rick thinking he is not a decoy was going to make decoys then of course other Ricks would have the same idea. But Rick never saw this coming because he was only thinking of the decoys as instruments to be used and disposed, even as he was giving them actual personalities and filled their memories with real ones. He never considered they could go on to make their own because, well, they are not This Rick and this Rick is the smartest man in the universe, the guy that unironically think himself to be god, so OBVOUSLY think only HE would be capable of pulling that off. -The fact the immediately after a Rick wins while proclaiming himself "not a man, I am god!" only to be killed by what is essentially JUST A TOY, some little creature that was MEANT to be killed but got pissed when nobody did it. A literal "god" got eliminated for something fucking mundane that didn't even had to do with the main conflict. He doesn't even understand WHY this little dude just killed him, he died with uncertainty, and if that isn't the most human experience ever then I don't know. -With this episode and the first one, I HOPE this season is going to be about desconstructing Rick thinking himself above anything else. I said this before, but I don't trust fans who truly believe Rick is entitled to do anything he wants and be shitty with everyone because he is smart. It seems to be like these two episode literally adressed that kind of attitude by putting Rick on situations where not even he can get out of and revealing he is, in fact, still just a flawed human being. A major criticism that many people have levered against the show is that yes, we know Rick is sad and miserable, but the show still goes out of it's way to keep making him win on anything he wants (most of the time at least) and thus is signaling to the audience the idea that he is always right, that he should be always right, because he has the power to do anything he wants. The very first episode start with Rick about to fucking die with all his regrets ("I am a silly man, a silly old man") and then he is saved BY MORTY. If it wasn't because of Morty being there that would be it, they both would be gone. -The previous season was already descontructing Rick as the patriarch of the house and show how nobody "needs him" on the same way they needed him on the first season. The only character you could argue still gives a fuck about Rick's approval/recognition is Summer, but even then Summer was never submissive and passive like Season One Morty was to Rick, instantly believing anything he said. Plus, we all know that Rick COULD take Summer on all his adventures and she would never complain about it because she doesn't give a fuck about school anyway. But he still insist on taking Morty instead, despite his protests, because he just likes Morty better than Summer and he does not take well with Morty not relying on him. I don't fucking buy the whole "cancelling brain waves" excuse anymore because, come on, there is a million ways in which Rick could circunvent that problem if he wanted to

but he just prefers keep Morty around. -On the first episode Rick literally says "let me deus ex machina out of here". Deus ex machina literally means the hand of god because in ancient greek mythology many plays would have an element of a literal hand coming from the sky to take the characters out of any problem they are in. And it didn't worked! He needed Mr Nimbus to save them. Because he is not fucking god, and the show is finally showing us concrete evidence of this, while Rick is still the only one with this delusion on his head and this delusion is part of his downfall. The whole second episode is nothing else but Rick's ego fucking him in the ass, literally killing him over and over again. -Beth was GREAT rejoicing on Rick's existential crisis and she fucking deserved that moment, I am glad they gave it to her. -The way so many of the decoys decided to react to knowing they were decoys was so amazing. Like yeah, a majority of them decided to be all "oh no, there can only be one", but many other just off themselves because they couldn't handle not being The Original, insisting to the last moment that they MUST be the original because, well, that is what they think, and then other decoys were just ready to accept death because they had accepted there was no other way. -The only wish of Summer to be on the ocean was... so wholesome? Like it made for a beautiful scene in general, but then they dying hand by hand and just happy to be together, Rick apoligizing to Morty because they couldn't make his wish come true, such a good moment. -The fact that all those Ricks made decoys purely out of a sincere desire to protect his family, it's just great. It was still selfish to basically create life with the only purpose of it being destroyed, but it was motivated as another security measure to protect others, not just himself. -The skin wearing Rick on the swamps talking about "a Rick must provide for his family". Ricks CARE about their family so much. -The puppet Smits were so cute, I loved their voices. -THE MUPPET SMITHS. Even if it was nothing but a costume, it was cute and I want them on Pocket Mortys. -This scene is a Call Me By Your Name reference and nobody tells me otherwise:

As I explained on a server: 1. Italian. The movie happens on Italy. 2. Pool. Many crucial scenes include a pool. 3. Age difference. If they just wanted to imply Morty was flirting they could have used just an older teenager, they didn't need a literal hunk that kinda looks like the older character on the movie. 4. THERE IS FUCKING PEACHES ON THE FOREFRONT. If anyone saw Call me by your name, they know they literally fucked a peach at some point and then the love interest EATS IT ANYWAY. And what does it look like the guy Morty is with is eating? PEACHES. 5. Parents are watching and don't give a fuck. 6. I have decided. -Regardless if it's a reference or not, though, is still pretty fucking gay. -I have seen some fans theorizing that the Smith family we see in the end with Space Beth was our own, and at first I thought so too because they are with Space Beth but then I was... wait a minute, ALL Beth decoys knew there was a Space Beth. They went out of their way to show us this by always having Beth being the one who insisted that no decoy had to die, because she knew what was to feel like a copy. When Rick decided to make another family exactly as his own, he also made HIMSELF expendable and interchangeable. We don't need thirty Smith families, the show only needs one and it doesn't matter which one is it as long is one we can recognize. Why couldn't that have been another decoy family that just so happened to want to do a space trip while all the bullshit was happening? I don't think they are ever going to confirm if this was our original Smith family or don't, just like they won't confirm which Beth is the clone, but I personally think it would be fucking hilarious if they were a decoy and Our Rick just died thinking he was a decoy. -Also the way that Space Beth was just casually putting an arm around Morty made me so happy. Considering that Beth is also the mother who prefered to save Summer over Morty when their lives were in danger, I really like the idea that Space Beth sees how much Morty has grown and is proud of him for becoming a badass himself without Rick's help. That is just my headcanon though, but wouldn't be nice to have SOMEONE appreciate Morty? -Finally, but not less important... Rick knew Morty uses a yosemite shirt in order to cum. This man literally knew about the masturbatory habits of his grandson. Rick went as far on his desire to protect his family he used that knowledge for the decoys. He also told Morty to not fuck his double, which is a nice little reference to Morty literally doing that on the comics but also a subtle way to tell us that Morty is definitely Not Straight because, yeah, I am fucking counting selfcest as a form of queerness because regardless of everything else, that is still two identifying male characters fucking. We only need Beth showing attraction to some female character and the entire Smith family would be officially pan/bi.

#rick and morty spoilers #andro is talking

[poisonedlovedarling]

Milo Murphy’s Law Theory

Okay I’m sure somewhere out there someone has had a theory like this. However! I just wanted to put it down in my own words, mostly to get it out of my head. 

In a short, my theory is that Balthazar Cavendish and his lovely partner Vinnie Dakota, (If not the entire time traveling agency) are the reason Milos family are cursed with Murphy's law.

Evidence! I hear you cry into the void, yes. Well the best I can offer you is theoretical science. (I hear you complaining in the background well you don’t have to listen...lol.)

Theoretical Science time! 

According to the laws of time travel, you might know this one. You go back in time and step on a butterfly and next thing you know all of humanity has never been born. Now the problem with this is that there are many theories saying that if you change time you can erase yourself from existence. However if you did that you then couldn’t have gone back in time and changed things in the first place. Causing a Paradox. Or less commonly known as Circular causation, you can’t change the past if you don’t exist 

Now on the other hand, there is a theory that you can change history causing yourself to never having been born but still existing to be the one to go back in time and change that point in history. Basically if you change a point in time you’re not changing your version of time but instead creating an alternate time line that runs parallel to your own. The future you return to you may not have been born but can still exist because you are from a timeline where you were born and are just riding the waves through a new timeline. Basically visiting an alternate earth where the history was change and you never existed. 

There's a ton more like this, such as self fulfilling prophecy, you couldn’t change time because what happened. Happened and you were suppose to do what you did anyways. 

Basically Time travel’s a messy.

However by changing history, you can cause unknown havoc. Example (though not proven by science) you drop a rock in the ocean in California. The ripples that the rock causes become bigger and more dangerous eventually reaching Japan not as ripples but as tidal waves. Causing havoc.

(For examples look at Futurama, Rick and Morty, or The Flash.)

Now if you are still reading theirs another time travel theory this one actually relating to my idea. This time theory states that if you do change history the time line will try to fix itself to change around it. Something small like stepping on a butterfly that was suppose to pollenate some flowers. It will make another bug or even wind do it instead, no big deal. Yet, if you do something big like prevent the death of a President. The timeline will have them die another time, car ride home heart attack. It will change history but not by much and is a lot harder for the timeline to fix. Sometimes that little rock becomes a tidal wave that hits but doesn’t kill who wasn’t already meant to die.

A lot of time this will effect those closest or those related to the target. Which Theory Time! Loops me back to Cavendish and Dakota. The time travelers who don’t follow the rules of time travel. My theory is the Milos families curse is because the timeline is trying to fix itself.

In the episode ‘The Island of Lost Dakotas’ (Spoilers ahead) we learn that one of our favorite characters Cavendish has ‘died’ many times over. Each time Dakota has gone back in time and changed the outcome. Saving his friend and then his past self goes on a trip to a lost island where versions of himself are making shoes and watching film of his travels with his friend. 

Now one or twice the timeline would just change how Cavendish dies, but Dakota keeps changing it. Which means that the timeline can’t fix itself the easy way. Instead the pebble Dakota keeps dropping is rippling back in time. 

If we follow this theory this means that either Cavendish or Dakota are related to the Murphy's. Great great ex. grandchild of Milo Murphy. Now based off the show it sounds as if the curse only effects the males of said family and follows the name not the people of the family. Which means that one of Milos kids finally change their last name perhaps in an effort to end the curse only to give birth to the curser or just another Murphy with a different last name. 

Well other than them not sharing the Murphy name, one of them could still be a Murphy.

Dakota is a popular choice, the bad things happen around him and though he doesn’t look much like Murphy’s family being a great something descendant he could still be. Especially with Milos love interest looking more like Dakota, and we can expect Milo and Amanda end up together in the end. Also we can see that in Milos experience the Murphy law effects the people around him equally if not more than it does the Murphy's themselves. So if Dakota is a descendant his curse would effect Cavendish as much if not more than it effect himself.

Now the best bet under this thought is that it’s Cavendish whos related to Milo. Between the two Cavendish looks more like Milo having the family hair trait. As well as the same body type as Milos father and Great ex. grandfather the original Murphy. Body types of all the characters at first look fairly similar but things from their noses to face shapes and body types tend to stay accurate within families. This means that through his family ties all the bad things that ‘kill’ him ripple back and instead effect his family. 

Cavendish’s deaths over and over again would effect the timeline. It would try fixing itself, effecting every last member of Cavendishs family. The epicenter being Milos ancestor the original Murphy in his own time travel version of the Bermuda triangle. Creating the Murphy law that the timeline needed to exist anyways. Now since the time line can’t kill any of the past Murphy's it also explains why the Murphy’s are so good at escaping deadly situations. The timeline can’t kill them but it sure can mess with them. 

Now if neither of them are related to Murphy then it just means that there relationship with Milos family, Dr.D. (Spoiler- Professor Time), and the time agency. All the things they change through out time made a time Bermuda triangle where the OG Murphy lived. These negative probability particles in that triangle could potentially be causing his family to be effected by it until those particles eventually run out if they run out. 

Now this theory is lengthy and all over the place. So here’s the long and the short of it. 

Cavendish or Dakota or even the time agency itself. Are the reason Milo and his family are cursed with Murphy’s law. By changing time they cause havoc which is centered around the Murphy family, because of their personal if not family  related relationships with Time agency. 

You don’t have to believe me honestly I just needed to write this down to get it out of my head. I’ve got many more theories about other tv shows, that might or might not be coming your way.

#milo murphy's law #balthazar cavendish #vinnie dakota #mml theory #mml spoilers #long post

[discoscoob]

"What Loki got wrong – and Doctor Who got right Redeeming a villainous character isn’t easy but the Disney Plus series could pick up a few tips from the BBC’s flagship series.

We all love Loki – the God of Mischief, Lord of Chaos, a wannabe tyrant and murderer with a twinkle in his eye and a spring in his step. So where on Earth (or rather, in the multiverse) did he go during his eponymous Disney Plus series? When Loki was first proposed, I was intrigued to see a Marvel spin-off that focused on an amoral, self-serving character. But over the course of its six episodes, we saw Tom Hiddleston abruptly deliver a reverse heel-turn, transforming a character that had always skirted in grey areas of villainy into a fairly bland, heroic type who just wanted to save the universe.In the final episode, Loki was offered the chance at universal war and chaos, a throne or a quiet home life in the background. The mind boggles that someone who tried to rule the planet just a few weeks before and apparently revelled in disorder would so quickly plump for the third option, no matter how nice his new friends were. .Maybe Loki needs more ‘good’ characters to bounce off for him to play the fun bad boy, as he had in the Thor movies. Maybe creating a Marvel series with a morally ambiguous lead, à la Rick and Morty, was never on the cards. But there was a way that Loki could have redeemed its central character without completely compromising what made him interesting in the first place. In fact, it’s been done before in a different series.A few times over the course of Loki, viewers had compared it to Doctor Who, mainly because of its general time-travel premise (what are the officious TVA except Time Lords with a dental plan?) and especially after episode three saw Loki and Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) trapped on a dying world. In fact, many commented that Loki did ‘Doctor Who’ better than Doctor Who itself, thanks to a higher budget and bigger stars. (Though did Loki have a sonic screwdriver? I think not. Case closed.)And I actually think Loki could learn something from Doctor Who, more specifically, from a storyline that saw an iconic villain try to change their ways with Cast your mind back to 2017 and Peter Capaldi’s final series as the Twelfth Doctor. A major throughline of those episodes was the Doctor’s attempt to redeem his old nemesis The Master, then played by Michelle Gomez as Missy. Initially reluctant (and not before a few final backstabs), Missy did end up playing the hero, only to be cut down by an alternate version of herself (AKA her predecessor in the regenerating role, John Simm) before she could reveal to the Doctor that she’d finally come over to his side.Crucially, during this process Missy was often as unpleasant, irascible and darkly funny as she’d ever been at her most villainous, regularly still insulting and belittling the Doctor and his friends even as she did gain more empathy and something of a moral code. She didn’t just completely gain a new personality, in other words, and the story was more moving and believable as a result.Of course, Loki is changed by what happens to him over the course of his series – the “journey” he goes on, as Jonathan Majors’ He Who Remains puts it, is needed to put him in the position where he’s willing to take over the TVA himself. But what we see him go through on screen doesn’t feel like enough to justify such a change in the character – or why the show would choose to make him so much less entertaining.If Loki had always been how he appeared in the finale, he wouldn’t have lasted as long as he has in the MCU, let alone get his own spin-off. Make Loki fun again! It probably doesn’t help that we’ve seen an onscreen version of Loki’s journey already which did a better job, with the ‘older’/original Loki’s arc in 2017 Marvel movie Thor: Ragnarok making a much better case for his gradual turn from self-interest to semi-heroism, though still with a trademark blend of arrogance and style (including bellowing “Your saviour is here!” as he rescued the people of Asgard).Maybe it helps that, in that film, he plays second fiddle to Chris Hemsworth’s Thor. Maybe Missy’s story only worked in Doctor Who because she wasn’t the main character, and similarly had the good

Doctor to bounce off (though if someone does want to make a Missy TV show, I’m in).Whatever the reasoning, something still feels a little off about this newly heroic Loki variant. Time for, if not a pruning, then at least a bit of a redirection if season two is going to find its glorious purpose"

reading this article rolling my eyes first off Missy went by a different name, also was not really a redemption of the master but that version of the master e.g missy which still don't know where this version is suppose to happen cause imo missy was the master but unlike the master had more redemptive qualities, wanting to be the doctors friend again/wanting to change but never getting the chance/past version didn't want to change, while this version feels like always on a path of redemption to the be killed off and the master comes back still evil, most likely missy version of the master will never be mentioned again/ never see this version again. also have they watched the Loki show, he literally learns he dies in the future, his stuck in a unfamiliar place by a very powerful organisation, also his self serving persona has always been a façade mostly, people can suddenly want to change which imo Loki hasn't really wanted to as Thor as pointed out about him going round in circles and him never seem to want to change in Ragnarok he was still not really change even though he shown he can be a better person, he also betrayed thor show still self serving. but Loki in the series makes sense his perception would change, his lost him home, his free will, Thor, learns he died/dies, and can't back to his timeline, but find it unbelieveable that Loki whole attitude would change... i think people need to pay more attention/don't really understand Loki, also he is still fun 3 episodes in just because his not acting like a clown and shown to be vulnerable and shown be more genuine and wanting be a hero doesn't mean they completely stripped his personality, hopefully we see his fun personality back next series. the reason he lasted in MCU so long is not just because his fun etc but because his a complex character, if i remember correct his fun personality didn't really come out until the dark world and then ragonorak in Thor he was angry and bitter and avengers was angry and bitter and wanting to rule earth. also we saw his fun personality up until episode 3 as slowly began to stop clowning around and become more genuine through Sylvie, also good friends didn't just change Loki, it was already in there it was a journey he always destined to go down as saw in the films which now some what reset in the series for another journey but thing is Mobius and Sylvie not just better Loki but his also bettered Mobius and Sylvie, also makes sense he change his self serving behaviour as learns even gets the throne or what he thought was his glory purpose he still not be truly happy, just like Sylvie and just like Mobius at The TVA. i feel some just don't really go into who Loki character is or just like his boring now if his not there being smug or clown or him finally actually being genuine = bad telling of redemption ok *rolls eyes*

I 100% agree! Reading that made me roll my eyes too, until I got to your part of the anon, that was a relief to read.

#loki #loki series

[futurewriter2000]

' There are a lot of things that remind me of you. More than things should make another person nostalgic, literally everything makes me nostalgic for you.

It's odd because I got over you but the bus rides remind me of you. The day you bought me a bus ticket and the way you laid your head on the bus window. Your hair were so greasy and you closed your eyes meanwhile I talked. The scene was like picked out from a movie and I remembered it since then. Every time I ride the bus, I sit on our designated seats and for one person, four seats are too much. It almost makes me feel selfish but I just grew attached to it. I remember you sitting across me or two seats next to me. I remember your ripped jeans, white and black, both pairs that you wore. I remember the bus station you waited on, and the path you walked me home on and your block... and the bus station near my block where we met to go out and the bus station I walked you to... and the bench we sat on... and I just remember so much of you that it still makes my eyes tear up.

I remember the conversations we had about horror movies and anime... and I remember how other conversations we had made right triangle and Pythagoras' theorem a thing for us. I remember conversations about having trust issues and when you had told me about your ex and a random girl, who stole your favorite bandana hoodie. I remember the water that you bought us that morning when we got high on the meadow and my shoes were covered in drawings of your cat you named Snow and the triangles, flowers... I cannot wear the grandma jacket I wore that day. Every time I spray myself with Dolce Gabbana The One parfume, it reminds me of you because I wore it for you. I remember how I couldn't climb the stupid wall because it was too high and we just spent laughing for five solid minutes. I remember you telling me that you loved my energy. That morning you sent me your plushie with wack eyes, your favorite hoodie, your plant... I came home with such a smile on my face- God, I told so many people about that day because it was like a movie. With you it was always like a movie.

I didn't know what was going through your head since then but something did because when I was working morning shifts, standing there completely asleep as I had no time for my coffee, you scared me half to death and laughed. People thought you and me had something... we did, actually. We did have something but nobody knew what, not even us. I don't know why but since that moment you started to push me away and I remember that so clearly for some odd reason.

I could say that it felt like a summer fling but it happened from November till March. Then in April... you just started disappearing and how can somebody just disappear? I beat myself sensless since then. Crying and crying and crying and crying because I lost somebody special but it wasn't just that. I believed that somehow you thought I wasn't good enough to be in your life... or funny enough or that I was just too weird for you- I don't know. I just felt I was losing my mind over you. That you just left without saying anything... not even a goodbye. You just disappeared.

I worked those night shifts without you and I sat at the same table we sat, we met, we talking about pencils, us drinking red-bulls (some days you bought them for us, some days I bought them for us), you trying coconut chips and judging me for it, me getting you pistachios, me making no sense with a story because you just listened and I got lost because nobody listened that much to me... I didn't know where to eat because we spent time everywhere in that place. The stupid heater and you standing there looking at it like you had seen God. The bench where I sat and you stood, smoking. Some days I woke up and even though you weren't there, I smelled it and I took such a deep breath of it because I missed you so much. You making no sense by asking me why I don't smoke. Which is saved in my drawer of our weird conversations about how to fall asleep if you cannot sleep, how some scenes in horror movies are actually funny instead of scary, throwing up while high- which reminds me of the day we went to get burgers for us three and I paid and you looked at me and were like so confused of why. Well, I like to give to my friends and that is who I considered you to be for all those months.

I should have seen the red flags thought. The mood swings you got out of the blue, the tired eyes and the way you snapped at me sometimes, the hot and cold energy, the way you invited us to spend New Years but bailed, the invite to your birthday party and you bailed even though all of us got you a birthday present already... you said only pistachios from me would be fine... I didn't take that at all. Some people told me to get you a ring and I thought that was a bit too weird. It might look like I was proposing to you and you always were curious of what I got you for your birthday. I feel like you still are at some point. I got you matching Rick and Morty bucket hats... and pistachios because you don't eat sweets.

God, there are so many memories that place me back in that time. You telling me to must watch that show... my mask getting stuck to my brand new piercing and you helping me get it off... every time it got stuck to my hair. It got stuck just this week again and I thought of you and a rush of memories came with that but I just brushed it off. They don't affect me like they would... like they did when you left, I was working the same place where I was that day we were by ourselves. You drew on my shoes, every time we went on a break, Maria- I hope you still remember her because I do and she was the sweetest person. The grandma sweater that I adore, now it always hangs in my closet. My parfume- and the duck tape- OH! And my uniform that I drew on that same day. The cereal that sucks by the way. You have a terrible taste in cereal, which reminds me that you promised me a chicken burger and I had never recieved it from you.

And then I quit because I was so lost without you. I quit and I spent a month and a half gathering myself together. And the first night after I quit there, I met a great guy but by the end of the night I still thought of you. That was when I needed to start the whole letting go of you process that was going quite well... up until I thought of you out of the blue when I was blending strawberries and banana. I have no clue how you popped into my head like that but you did at times but this time making a smoothie had no connections to you- so I thought that maybe you were heavily thinking of me. Since then, you had been on my mind all the time. I went back to work and it was weird at first but I was okay. I wasn't crying on the bus back home, that's for one. Which meant that I was a step further than I was before but I still wanted to see you. I still wanted to see just a peek of you that you were alive. Maybe at the bus station, maybe at the path, maybe somewhere in my town but... the only day I didn't take the bus, my co-worker said she saw you. And I was shocked at first and I was mad that the only time I didn't take the bus, I could see you. Then she said you didn't really look well and I got upset because if I hate something more than sea food, it's hearing that somebody I used to care for a lot isn't doing well. I cried that day for you, after a long time but also decided that day that you're not my problem anymore. You're not a burden, you're not something I have to think of all the time... and I was glad I didn't see you that day because if I would, I'd be stuck again. I don't want to be stuck again... ever... because you mean a lot to me but not seeing you made you mean less to me. I know the moment we see each other again, you'll mean a lot to me again but I won't be emotionally attached like I used to be.

I moved on. I got over you. Something I didn't think I would. Back then when I was moving on, I was crying because I was moving on and I didn't want to. I loved memories of us, us in general. I missed your laugh and your smile and your eyes, your hair, your jacket, your jeans... just you but that's all they were becoming. Memories. All the people from my past start coming back to me and when they did, I just put you among them. You're behind. You're the past but a great yet complicated past.

And now there is somebody new in my life and I don't know where this will take us but he's great. He's stable and honest... and great. He sort of talks like you, which reminds me of you but he's not you and I like that about him. He's funny and smart and he likes books. He's got a really nice smile and he's interested in the same things I am. He keeps asking me questions and he listens to my answers. He's sweet and he also made me realise that I should really stop missing out on good things because of you.

You were a good thing in my life... up to a point you weren't anymore.

But now he's a good thing in my life and he makes promises he can keep. I love that about him...'

#this is my coping mechanism #Love #friendship #friends #strangers with memories i guess #stranger #moving on #Heartbreak

[sickkillerzach]

Ex Gon' Give It To Ya

Everytime Gloria invited Javier over to see Manny, I knew it was bad news.

But she insisted every time he came over that "it's good for Manny to see his dad".

That all changed the most recent time he came to visit.

You see, he didn't just come to visit Manny.

He wanted to take Manny with him.

*************************************

There was a knock on the door. ugh I thought, Gloria's ex husband. I hate him.

She came rushing towards the door. I could tell she didn't enjoy his company, but obviously, she thought it was good for him.

But there was something rather odd about the way she looked. She always looked like she was dreading his very appearance at her house, but she looked, rather, nervous to open the door.

I stopped her dead in her tracks. "Gloria, sweetheart, you seem to be anxious about Javier's presence."

"I don't know. I just have this very strange feeling about inviting him over. I've had this feeling for a week, when I got the call from him. He sounded like he was up to no good." She replied.

He pounded on the door again, rude and impatiently.

"We'll be there in a second!" I yelled loudly, my Australian accent kicking in, as usual.

He stopped knocking.

"Well, he's already here, nothing we can do, let's just have him over to visit Manny, and he can leave, and that's it." I assured her.

I didn't want to say anything to her, as I saw the stress she was under, but I was very frustrated at her, and almost wanted to say "Well, had you listened to me, you wouldn't be here".

It was bad enough my friends never listen to me, but my soon to be fiance not listening to me is even worse.

I felt very hurt, but didn't say anything.

She went to the door and took a deep breath, and opened it.

"About damn time," he said "where the hell were you?" He asked, being very rude, again.

She ignored the question, and I came over and shook his hand. I did this every time he came over, but he was always rough with me. My hand was always red and sore afterwards, and sometimes he even squeezed so tightly, I could feel my pulse in my hand.

Manny walked over and hugged his father.

He even looked concerned, almost as if he was sharing the same feeling his mother was.

Javier gave him a very weird looking grin, like he was up to something.

Was Gloria's strange feelings, that may have been shared with Manny, meaning something more than we thought?

*************************************

Everything seemed to be normal. He gave Manny a gift, as always (which bothered me, because it was like he was trying to compete with me, but I'm always going to be the better father), he ate dinner, chatted with us, the usual things he would do.

However, when he left, that bad feeling started to settle on me.

was he up to something? I thought, and what was with that grin he kept giving Manny? He kept staring him down.

*************************************

That night when we settled on the bed, I had nothing on but a pair of boxer shorts, and Gloria had on one of her nightgowns. Everything seemed to be usual. Usual day, usual night, the only thing different was that Javier was over.

So I thought.

In the middle of the night, I had to take a piss. This was normal, as I frequently had to urinate in the middle of the night.

But something was off.

I never noticed how creepy Gloria's house looked in the dark. It was a beautiful house, but right now, it looked creepy.

I wanted a light source, but didn't want to awake Gloria, so, I grabbed my Rick and Morty Portal Gun, put it on silent, and made it so that the light stayed on until I shut it off, rather than turning off automatically.

And as an extra comfort source, I grabbed my Raichu plushie from the bed.

Gloria turned over a little bit, but didn't wake up from me getting my Raichu, and Portal Gun.

I walked across the hall, and went to the bathroom, which was right next to Manny's room, which was right next to Joe's room.

I went in, and set my gun and plushie on the counter right next to the toilet, and lifted the seat up, and did my business. I couldn't help but feel this strange feeling overwhelming me, the same feeling I was getting while Javier was over, but worse.

Way worse.

Once I got done in the bathroom, I grabbed my Portal Gun, and Raichu, and continued walking towards our bedroom.

But the feeling was getting worse as I walked away from the hallway.

For whatever reason, I checked in Manny's room.

good, he's just in his bed, snoring away I thought to myself.

what the hell was I thinking? He was gonna be missing or something?

I went back up to the bedroom, set down the portal gun on to the the dresser, turned it off, set Raichu back on the bed, covered back up, and went back to bed.

*************************************

At around 4AM, there was a loud noise throughout the house. It woke both me and Gloria up.

"What was that?" I asked her, rhetorically.

"I don't know, we should go downstairs and see." She replied.

As I walked through the bedroom door, I sensed the same feeling I had while in the bathroom.

We walked down the stairs, where the noise sounded like it came from, and there was nobody there.

I could hear Joe crying upstairs about something.

"I'll get him, you keep looking." She said as she ran back up the stairs.

I kept looking around until I heard the words come out of Joe's mouth.

"Manny's dad came and got him."

"What?" I said back.

"Yeah, he came and took him. I couldn't say anything because he had a gum at my head." He replied, obviously mistaking "gun" for "gum". I always thought it was so cute when Joe talked like a child.

"What kind of wanker points a lethal weapon at a child?" I said.

"Oliver, we've got to go save Manny." Gloria told me, which was the obvious thing to do.

I put on my tan leather jacket, black sweatpants, while Gloria put on her red sweater, and brown skinny jeans.

We made sure to have pockets to hold our guns.

"Let's see here," I started listing off all the guns we had in our gun safe. "Thompson? Nah, that'd jam too much. BAR? Too heavy. We're only killing one guy after all. SPAS-12? That's-" Gloria interrupted.

"Will you just hurry up already? We don't know what Javier could be doing at this moment, I'll just be taking the Glock." She told me.

"Fine, I'll just take the PPSH-41, and the 1911."

We put Joe in the backseat of the car, and were on our way to that dickhead Javier's house.

I wanted to tell Gloria that I knew that inviting him over was a bad idea, but chose not to, as I didn't want to put more stress on her, or even worse, cause an argument. After all, there was a lot of tension.

I started to notice how much of a bad idea it was to put the PPSH on my back, as it started to hurt with the carseat right up against it.

Too late to take care of it now.

The closer we got to the house, the faster I started driving.

*************************************

When we finally arrived at the house, we started loading up our guns.

"Papi, just stay here while me and daddy take care of something-" I interrupted her.

"Look, the kid understands what we're doing, no need to sugarcoat it, let's get moving, and take down this cunt, and save our son." Gloria wasn't fond of me swearing in front of Joe, however, I made it up to her by calling Manny "our son", despite me just being his step-father.

We began to walk towards the front door, and I knocked on it, very hard.

I could hear him screaming something in Spanish that I couldn't quite understand.

"Who the fuck is it? And what the fuck do you want?" He yelled in English, this time I understood him.

I tried my best to hide my Australian accent, and said "mail service!"

Gloria stared at me deeply as if she was saying "what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Mail at 5AM?" He replied.

"Told you so." She said, despite not saying anything beforehand.

I gave her the same look she gave me.

I scratched my beard and mustache as I thought of what to say next.

"We're working the nightshift." I finally said, but became concerned as my accent was a teeny bit audible, and because that's obviously not convincing.

"No mail guy comes at-" I interrupted him.

"Goddamnit Javier just open the fucking door!" Gloria gave me an even darker look, as if she was saying "now what's your plan genius?".

"Oliver? What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to sound surprised.

"You know why, give us Manny, and nobody gets hurt." Gloria finally spoke.

"I don't have Manny? What are you talking about?"

I whispered to Gloria, "let's start shooting at the door, then he'll have to open."

She nodded, as in confirmation.

I pulled out the 1911, and she pulled out her Glock, and we started firing shots.

He started yelling in Spanish again. The only thing I could understand was "ay dios mio".

"You brought guns? What the fuck? Okay, I'll open the door, just stop firing!" He said, as he walked over.

I pulled out the PPSH from my back, and put the 1911 back in my jacket pocket.

When he opened the door, I hit him with the butt of the gun.

"You fucking son of a bitch, give us the kid right now!" I yelled as I pointed the sub machine gun at his forehead.

"I dont have him! I told you." He replied.

Just then we heard a scream, coming from, what sounded like a teenage boy.

Gloria and I turned to each other.

"That confirms it." She said.

"Guess it's time to waste this wanker." Just then he pulled out his P-99 from his jeans pocket and stared firing shots. Gloria and I immediately took cover behind his walls at the side of his house. Unfortunately, we were on the opposite sides, making us separated.

He quickly reloaded, and continued shooting.

I nodded at Gloria silently, and then moved my head in the direction of the back of the house. She seemed to get the idea.

We met up at the back, and just before we started discussing the plan, we looked in the window.

Manny was in the chair, tied up, his back turned to us.

"There's Manny. Alright, here's the plan. You run in and get Manny from the chair, I'll shoot this cunt in the leg, and then we'll have some fun with him afterwards." I told her, she didn't say anything, but rather smiled, and nodded.

"That sounds good to you?" I asked, just to confirm with her, despite she clearly agreed.

"Ye-" She began, but then was interrupted by something she saw. Her eyes widened, and looked as if she was about to piss her pants.

I heard a click.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?" I asked rhetorically, knowing the answer.

"Well, it seems you shouldn't have came here, doesn't it?" He said, as he started to hold me by my neck, making me drop my PPSH.

I thought quickly of what to do, and the kicked him right in his balls.

I picked up the gun from the ground, and shot him right in his kneecap.

"Get Manny from the house, I'll take this wanker in with you." She nodded and ran to the door. She didn't go in though, and waited for me to go to the door, and opened it for me.

"Thanks." I said. I gave her a slight kiss on the cheek, just to piss off Javier.

He started yelling in Spanish, for the third time.

I noticed he was bleeding a lot, and it seemed he was hanging on to conciousness. I set him down on the ground, and put pressure on his wound.

"Oh, buddy, you can't die now, we're just getting started." I told him.

I took a look over at Manny, and he looked horrible. He had blood all over his legs and face, and it even looked like he pulled out a few teeth.

This angered me more than I thought it would.

"I see you did a lot worse damage than I thought you did." I said to Javier, as he started making grunting sounds.

Gloria kissed Manny on his forehead, and hugged him tightly, and said something in Spanish to him.

That's what I loved about Gloria, she was such a soft mom.

She took him to the car, and walked back in.

We grabbed Javier, and put him in the chair.

"You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge." I told him as we tied him up.

Gloria looked at me, as she got the reference.

"What are you talking about? You don't have any "street knowledge", the both of you don't". He said.

"Really? You don't get the reference? Straight Outta Compton, by N.W.A.? Niggaz With Attidues?" I asked.

"I don't listen to that garbage you call "rap music"." He said back.

I gasped. "How dare you disrespect the legacy of Dre, Ice Cube, Eazy-E, and everyone else in N.W.A." "That's it." And I grabbed my phone, and played the song.

He screamed, clearly hating it.

"If this is bothering you, holy shit, you're not ready for anything that's about to happen next." I said.

Gloria seemed annoyed. She wasn't very fond of rap herself, but she tolerated it when I was around.

I grabbed my wrench from the trunk of the car, and sang along with the lyrics.

"Straight Outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube."

I started banging the wrench on his legs to the beat of the song.

Gloria, while not being fond of the song, was clearly amused at me beating him to the song.

She then came around and started shooting at his feet.

"Oh God, please stop!" He cried out in pain.

I then grabbed a pair of pliers and pulled out his fingernails.

He continued to cry out in pain.

He was clearly close to death, and so I quickly stopped the song, and put my phone back in my pocket.

I then grabbed the lighter from his cigarette packet, lit up a cigarette, while Gloria grabbed the jerry can from the trunk, and poured gasoline on him. I didn't smoke the cigarette, as I'm not a smoker, but I threw the cigarette on top of him, burning him. We quickly ran out of the house, and got in the car. I started driving back to our house.

"Well, now that that's done, Manny, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm in a lot of pain, but nothing too serious." He replied.

"That's good. But just know, he won't hurt you anymore, now that we took care of him. We'll get you cleaned up at home, and everything is gonna be okay. Can you walk okay? He hit you pretty hard on the legs."

"I can walk fine, it hurts a bit, but I'm fine, you guys came just before he can do anything worse."

"I'm sorry about that kiddo, but he's been taken care of by us." I said.

"Thanks dad." He said.

My face lit up when he said that.

"Did-did you just call me dad?" I asked happily.

"Well, my real dad is nothing to me now, so you're really the real dad I have."

For over two years, he had only called me Oliver, and for the first time, he called me dad.

"I love you son." I told him.

"I love you too." He replied.

"Dad."

Gloria was smiling really hard when she heard this.

I then pulled out my phone.

"Hey Google, play Real Muthaphuckin' G'z by Eazy-E." I told the phone.

"Okay, starting song." The phone said back.

"Oh God." Gloria said as she sighed deeply.

We drove home safely, cleaned off Manny's wounds, and went back to bed after a long exhausting night.

The police came the next day, asking questions about the situation, and Manny showed the officer his injuries.

We were let off scott free, and everyone was happier after that.

#modern family #fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #gloria delgado pritchett #gloria pritchett #manny delgado #joe pritchett #modern family fanfic #what's this? #i drew a fanart and wrote a new fanfic all in the time span of two weeks? #that's insane