#watched it for the first time yesterday and didn't even notice that i was sobbing 👍

[hiort]

shapeshifting

#im will never recover #my art #madoka magica fanart #madoka magica #sayaka miki #puella magi madoka magica #digital art #watched it for the first time yesterday and didn't even notice that i was sobbing 👍

[killersfool]

hiiii i’ve a wee fluff imagine idea for bobby!! : )

bobby and the reader live together in a flat in dublin and the reader goes to trinity uni to study english literature (or smt else that has like a lot of reading and essay writing anol that craic) and she’s falling behind in a lot of her assignments and it’s all piling up and she’s just all overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to cope.

she ends up breaking down into sobs or shutting down at random points in the day due to stress and rob hasn’t got a clue what’s wrong and keeps noticing these random break downs throughout the week.

basically he comforts reader and helps to organise herself and just all fluffy cute comfort fic <333

If I could flip back time, bend the seconds and go back three years ago, I would do it right now.

Pile after pile of flashcards, annotated books with pastel post-it notes shooting out of the sides, folders of Irish poetry I can hardly understand, tattered photocopies of Hozier lyrics, every work of Shakespeare staring at me from my overcrowded booksheld — dusty, messy, probably even dank. Miss Carter has decided to set three more assignments onto my workload for the week. An essay on crime fiction (I haven't even read the first book on the reading list), my creative writing portfolio and then another essay analysing a piece poetry of my choice. Reading and highlighting Hozier's lyrics of 'I, Carrion (Icarian)' is the only thing keeping me going. Phoebe Bridgers blasts through my ears. It's quarter to 11. I need a break. An early night would be nice. Or TV. But do I really want to sit next to Robert whilst he watches his weird YouTube videos?

I kick my table. Not out of anger. Not out of irritation. I just want to see all of my notes topple ontp the floor. They do. Then I'm kicking the table three more times. Or maybe eight. All my flashcards are on the carpeted  floor, next to my discarded, empty packet of pinballs. I'd stolen them from Robert's stash. He'll never find out.

Climbing over my pile of unread books by my doorway, I push open the door. It squeaks. Some oiling would be nice. Trinity college really provides the best for their students! 

I still wish my roommate was also doing English, someone to bond with over shared trauma, to gossip about our nightmarish teachers and fellow students. But no, this guy is doing a degree in bloody mathematics. The complete dichotomy of English. No similarities. No way of comparing the courses to eachother. Him and his terrifying videos that he watches with his shoes up on the armrest, cheek in his open palm, drinking a cup of tea. Like it's that simple. Numbers and sin, cos, tan and circle theorems and whatever tragic nonsense is being spouted in his lectures.

He hardly speaks to me. Three years together and I barely know him. Sometimes I tag along with him when he goes out for breakfast. Once every two weeks. Sunday morning. We talk about school, about friends, about anything that pops in our heads. Yesterday we spoke about music. He originally wanted to pursue a career in music. A band. But they didn't work out. He took a gap year to pursue this group. So he's a year older than all of the other third years. He doesn't let that faze him. When he told me stories about his band, 'Inhaler', I had to lose eye contact, look down at the pink marshmellos floating about in my cup. He looked lost. This wasn't the place for him. He missed the confidence upon stage, the ability of making something out of nothing. Life is unfair. That is when I realised it. Hearing about shattered dreams and names of songs that were never produced.

I also realise life is unfair right now, as I accidentally bang my hip onto the kicthen island, the knife-like corner lodging itself into my skin. It's like the world is against me. 

Sometimes I wonder if Robert thinks I'm an idiot. I feel like I'm an idiot when I walk past his bedroom, hunched over his laptop, headphones on as he works through the most difficult maths questions I've ever encountered in my life. He makes university seem easy. Has his allocated times for study, going out with friends, the gym, practicing bass, going though record shops, meals, watching TV. Everytime he gets home, he drops his things down in the kitchen. I sneak a glance at the big green 'A*' on all of his test papers. I look up to him. His intelligence, his masterful management of time. I'm always too frightened to ask him how he does it. He'll think I'm stalking him. 

Me, on the other hand, I waste time. I don't have balance. I never have time to be with my friends. Always locked up in my room. A prisoner. Essay after essay. Poem after poem. Book after book. A constant cycle I've been in for three whole years. The stress is weighing down on me like a hundred bags of bricks. I need to stop for a second. To breathe in. To calm down.

So I do the last thing I would normally do. I go into the living room and sit beside Robert on the sofa. He's half asleep, jeans cuffed, hair all over his face. He sees me walk in, glances up, eyes big and speculting. He instantly moves his spindly, spider-like legs from the armrest to give me some space. I can hear some sort of maths video playing on the TV. I'm scared. At least it's not English. I'm immune to maths. It doesn't affect me anymore. Whatever logorhythmic scale this American YouTube man is yapping about isn't making my face contort at all — it's like sorcery.

This could be a way of winding down. Maths. I'm calmer now. No changes of focus or narrowing of perspective. No pathetic fallacy or magical realism. Just messes of words that don't really make sense at all.

"'D'you want to watch TV? I can turn this off if you want." Robert has his thumb on the home button.

"Leave it on. I just need a moment."

He dubiously puts the remote back down. He yawns, stretching out his arms and leaning back. I hate it when boys do that. With his parted, manspreaded legs, adams apple bobbing, head rolled back. It's idiotic. Completely idiotic. He doesn't seem too intrigued by Mr American man. The video is a guy next to a whiteboard writing millions of brain-numbing equtions. Robert is nodding along. I think I'm going to cry. I don't know why I want to right now. My hip is actually starting to throb and ache. I look down at my jeans. There's a hole in them. There's blood. It's wet. I hadn't noticed before. It's properly pouring out blood.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I exclaim, hand pressing down onto the cut through my jeans.

Robert swiftly nears me. He's looking at me up and down, hands trying to find a place to move to. It's dark in the room. He reaches for the lamp switch. "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding. Jesus christ. That kills. Fuck me."

He passes me his jacket and says, "Apply some pressure." 

Then he runs out of the room. Fast as a plane. A man on a mission. Long curls dancing to the rhythm of his steps. Mr American man won't shut up about algebraic expressions. He's got a really bald head. Glimmering. 

Robert is back. He has bandages. I don't know where he got those from. Antiseptic wipes, plasters, sweets, even a cup of tea. He was only gone for about five seconds. How did he manage to get all of that? He hands me the cup of tea and sweets whilst asking, "What happened?"

"I walked into the island like an eejit. I'm so feckin' stupid."

"Just breathe, okay. You're not an eejit. I do that every day." 

I have to unzip my jeans to let him check the cut. Which is awkward, to say the least. He's looking at me like a doctor — not really caring about seeing my skin — but I'm still so shy around him. He sees me struggle with the button. He undoes it, fingers coming in contact with mine. They're slender. So very perfect for the bass guitar. Then he's unzipping my jeans. Only the tiniest bit. A mere centimetre of my knickers appear out of the top. Any more than that and I'd be flush as a tomato. I've always had a little crush on Robert. Being stuck with a really smart bass guitarist with the dreamiest eyes for three years is enough to make a person fall. The reason I've been avoiding him lately has been due to that fact. I don't want to make it obvious.

He finds the cut. It's bled through my knickers, making a big blot of dark red. He pulls down the waistband of my pants, prepared to wipe the wound. I have to grind my teeth together to prevent a sob from escaping me. I'm crying. Stressed and hurt and just wanting to dissolve into nothing. The cold draft of wind isn't improving the situation. If only there was no such thing as coursework and I couldn't glide my way through university like Robert. 

More and more blood. I think I might pass out. The blue-eyed boy is knelt down on the floor, knees biting into the carpet so that he can properly see where to put the bandage. 

"So how's English going?" He's not looking at me. Only at the wound. I don't think he's noticed that I'm crying. I don't want him to. I cover my face with bloody hands, accidentally smearing the metallic substance onto my nose. 

I don't know what to say. Do I tell him how much I regret picking it? Do I make this already awkward situation about ten times worse? I hate when people pity me. I hate when I feel like eyes are lingering for far too long when I cry. But when Robert looks at me, it's different. The pools of serenity circling his iris aren't looking down at me with a sort of aristocracy. That's how my English peers stare me down. No, instead, he's looking at me like there's a billion questions rushing across his forehead. He just needs to decide which one to ask. Or to simply say nothing. Like I am. We've both learnt how to cohabit in silence. To walk past eachother and ignore the feathers of conversation falling between us. We're busy. Always busy. Except for those perfect Monday mornings that I always look forward to. Especially the one time when he showed me around his favourite record store. He had asked me to choose him a record to buy. I walked through the entire shop, fingers shifting records, reading unfamiliar artist names. Then, I saw it, the — now bane of my existence — Hozier's 'unreal unearth'. He bought it. He'd told me he only really knew 'Take Me To Church'. I'd leant against the till as he paid and said, 'it'll change your life.' Then he'd locked himself in his room. Through the ever so thin walls — paper thin — I could hear each track hum into my room. I never got the chance to talk to him about the album. I think the thought of bringing it up made me feel sick — due to the English essay upstairs still waiting patiently to be finished.

Now there is an excuse. To talk. I'm injured. I don't want to move. He's still attempting to wrap a bandage over my stomach, then across my back until it's around my torso. I feel his fingers graze my skin with every subtle movement, along my spine, the small of my back, my abdomen, my hip bone. He's still looking at me. Searching. Like I'm a new island and he's an explorer trying to name me.

"What's up, sweetheart?" He finally talks again. His words are throaty, emananting from the pits of his throat. He's still wrapping, waiting for an answer.

"Just college. You know. It's killing me."

He shakes his head. "You're so smart."

"Says you."

He shakes his head. "Look, this might be a bit weird but sometimes when you leave random essays lying around or even creative writing. I read them. They're incredible. Your mind just works in such an interesting way."

I'm at a loss for words. He reads those? Those are usually just failed attempts that I toss aside. Scrap paper. Strange drawings. I don't even want to look at them.

"You get top grades in every test," I sigh. "I'm barely passing. I'm the worst in the class. My professors hate me, I've got so much work, I'm falling behind in every assignment—"

Then I'm properly crying. Sobbing. Breathing so heavily I think I might collapse. Heaving. Sniffling. Covering my face so he can't see me. I'm like a child. Pathetic. Stupid. Worthless. I was never good enough for Trinity. Why did they let me in?

Warm arms, press of skin. Just above the wound, over my chest, arms dig into my body, hugging me from behind. Head burrowing onto my shoulders, knees into the sofa. His lips ghost the back of my neck. Tears are falling down. He turns me around to face him. I hate how he's seeing me like this. My cries are usually saved for when he's out with friends or blasting music on his record player. He's never seen me this vulnerable, just utterly ripped into shreds by the hands of life. His scent is making me feel better, the tissue now on my cheek makes me feel better, the quiet words of 'breathe, let it all out, it's okay' make me feel better. He's calming me down. I start to forget what I was even crying about when I look into his eyes. This intense eye contact. Remembering his height. Even sat down, his torso is far longer than mine.

"I've got an idea," he murmurs, peeling his body away. I miss the warmth. I miss the touch. 

"What is it?"

"We should go somewhere. Get out for a bit. Say it's a 'mental health field trip'." He curls his fingers to accentuate the apostrophes."Maybe down to the Cliffs of Moher. When you're all healed up of course."

"Give me a week."

"A week? I'll be the judge of that." He raises an eyebrow, now tying up the bandage.

"Where did you learn all this?"

"I'm actually first aid trained. Did it in my first week of uni." He takes a deep breath, settles back onto the sofa. 

I take a sip of my tea. My eyes are surely blotchy and red. I bet there's mascara all over my face. "Thank you so much."

"No problem at all. Do you want to tell me what's going on? Is there any way I can help?" He's referring to my school work. "I was alright at English in high school. No where near as good as you are. But maybe another opinion might help you."

"I'm really stuck on a Hozier analysis."

"I never told you how much I love that album. It's perfect." His eyes glow like they do when he's talking about something he loves. Usually it's caused by talking about playing bass, but right now it's due to the beauty of Hozier's music. "I learned the bass line of De Selby part two."

"Show me. Now." I don't even ask. It's simply a demand. Anything to take my mind away from that cut still bleeding profusely. A little concert would be nice. Especially if said concert involves watching Robert play bass. I sometimes peek through the crack in the doorway to see him sat down on his bed, pick between his index and thumb, bass guitar on his lap, headphones over his ears. The pure concentration on his face is unparalleled. Notes thrum quietly through the room. He falls into any piece of music.

"Alright." He laughs at my enthusiasm. "Then I'll help with your English."

"Thanks." This is probably the most I've ever spoken to him. I'm mumbling each word, not wanting to look into his eyes.

He disappears once again. This time I hear the thudding footsteps over creaky floorboards. I hear a door squeak open, the faint patter of rain upon the ceiling, the quiet murmur of distant sirens as night blooms. It's tranquil. For a moment, I'm at peace. Until I remember the stack of unread books in my bedroom. I groan into my hands. Everything just keeps getting worse and worse and—

He's back. Not empty handed. Bass in one hand, Hozier lyrics and my pencil case in the other.

"I emailed your professor about the trip. I'm sure she'll be okay with it." He's off again. He comes through the door with his amp and lead. He plugs both in. 

"You're a life saver, Rob," I say.

He starts twisting around the knobs on the bass. Volume up. Then he's tuning. He smiles up at me. I think I'm staring. I think he can tell. His long fingers, tattoos, rings. It's all too much. My fingers are restlessly tapping the armrest. My legs are up on the coffee table. He pulls out his phone and plays the song. Then I'm lost in the music. His eyes are closed as he slides his fingers up and down the neck of the bass, as he stomps his feet down on the carpet to every drum beat. If only I could go back to the days I'd go to concerts every day. If only I could go back and see 'Inhaler' on a world tour, watch Robert from the crowd, completely in his element. Exhilarated, chanting, knowing every lyric like it's my mother tongue. Sometimes I wonder what life could've been like if the band had worked out. If the world did realise just how incredible they are. But, here, appreciating each pluck of every string, the grin as he watches me. I can't take that for granted. 

#robert keating fanfiction #bobby skeetz fanfiction #bobby skeetz #inhaler band #inhaler imagines #inhaler oneshots #robert keating #fanfiction #inhaler dublin #inhaler fanfiction #josh jenkinson #elijah hewson #trinity college #inhalerimagines #inhaler oneshot #inhaler x reader #inhaler fanfic #inhaler imagine #bobbyskeetz #bobby skeetz x reader #inhaler #fanfics #ryan mcmahon

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 46)

Tw: ig Yves being super unbearable

You received a message in the middle of your lecture. It was from Yves.

"Would you like me to wait for you outside your lecture theatre?"

You replied that you're fine. You can manage on your own.

"If you change your mind, do not hesitate to tell me. I will be there."

Saying that it was difficult was an understatement. You had to lug around your bag while moving in crutches. You have forgotten your umbrella, water bottle and pencil case. Maybe you should have taken up Yves offer on helping you pack for the day.

It's been a week since you started attending your classes in person again. Yves was hovering over you on the first day, he would waltz into the halls as if he's a student and sit next to you every lecture. His unreal beauty garnered a couple of stares, you didn't like how Yves stuck out like a sore thumb without meaning to.

Even the lecturer would get distracted sometimes, by being surprised to see an associate of theirs attending the presentation.

Without fail, they would strike up a conversation with Yves as he led you to the exit. If you don't have anywhere else to be, you're forced to listen to them talk about work, research or the past when they were colleagues. It left a bad taste in your mouth whenever they expressed shock upon hearing Yves introducing you as his partner.

You still don't know how old Yves actually is, but judging by the reactions of your lecturers who are sometimes 75 years old, your boyfriend must be ancient.

He wouldn't join you for tutorials or workshops, though. Which you were grateful for, because it would have been embarrassing to have some sort of a caregiver around when you're an almost fully capable adult. However, he would be waiting outside for the entire duration.

You tried sneaking out earlier, but Yves caught you and gave you a scolding before sending you back.

You had to leave in the middle of the class to use the bathroom. Yves was already there waiting to help you.

So it was clear that he never left. And your coursemates took notice of your special relationship with him.

You know he meant well. He loves you and that is why he would sacrifice his own time to watch over you like this. But you're tired. You're ashamed that you're reduced to a child incapable of doing anything alone.

Just yesterday, you snapped at Yves. Having a full blown meltdown with sobbing and screaming at home. His presence is suffocating you and you wanted to move around on your own.

Yves was watching you with an expression that tells you, he expected this to happen.

He was supposed to let you be, to let you struggle on your own and come to him if you couldn't handle it anymore. This is another instance where his emotions get in the way and ruin such a flawless plan. But, he couldn't sit with the worry in his heart that is gnawing him from the inside.

You're still so vulnerable, so fragile. He never wanted you to leave his house in the first place.

He was only supposed to escort you to the room, not enter it. Yves was supposed to leave as soon as you disappeared past the door frame, and not linger in the hallway.

Yves wasn't supposed to touch your bag no matter how many things were missing from it. You should be handling that on your own.

He ignored every twitch and frown from you that indicated you were about to blow up from all the stress he is giving you. Cumulating in this massive meltdown before his eyes. And he has no one else to blame but himself.

Yves was apologetic and remorseful. He promised that he wouldn't cling onto you that severely anymore, and he would ask every time. So far, he has kept his word.

You knew where to find him, he is back where you and him first met: the library.

Yves should put his phone down. He should just leave it alone and focus on something else. You will be fine, you have to be fine.

He switched it off, only to open his laptop to access all the surveillance cameras in the campus. Focusing on the ones where you're most likely to be under its field of view.

It was risky, even downright reckless to be accessing this in the library. But Yves couldn't care less about being seen doing such depraved things, all that was on his mind was you, you and you.

His heart wrenched and twisted at the sight of you panting and slowly inching your way to the library under the sweltering heat. Yves bit the inside of his cheek until he drew blood, fighting the urge to dash out and carry you in. He hates seeing you struggle, you deserve nothing less than opulence and ease. Yet, this is the path you chose. And this is the path that unfortunately provides you the most joy and fulfillment.

Meanwhile, you reached the entrance and sighed, wiping off the sweat that has been dripping down your forehead. You felt gross, your cast felt damp and itchy.

Still, you trudged on. Using your crutches to advance yourself forward.

No one bats an eye at you, they're all too engrossed in their studies or movies. It was a temporary bliss that you get to fade into the background once again.

You spotted Yves's gorgeous, jet black hair. He looked up from his laptop and took off his reading glasses. Yves watched you with concern as you used up the last of your energy to him.

"Hello, dear." He whispered, greeting you with a kiss on the lips. You cringe at the thought of your sweat seeping into his mouth. But Yves didn't seem to notice or care.

You sat on the chair next to him, allowing your boyfriend to dry the droplets off your face using facial tissues. He set your crutches aside safely, you think he placed it so far away from you on purpose. But it would be insane to pick a fight based on that.

You rested your head in his hand, tired of everything. It would have been much easier if the weather wasn't hellish.

While you're slumping in your chair, he pulled out a thermos flask filled with crisp, ice water. He opened it and brought it to your lips, allowing you to take sips and to hydrate yourself.

He fanned you with his stacks of papers. You looked at him and Yves looked upset. Not necessarily at you, but at the fact that you're suffering.

Once you're a bit more stabilized, he took out a bottle of sunscreen. You sat there unmoving as Yves applied a good amount on your face and arm.

"Always protect your skin from the sun." He reminded you while applying a special 50 SPF lip balm on your mildly chapped lips. You mumbled an 'okay'.

You sat idly, not wanting to talk to him. So, he went ahead and continued working on whatever he was doing before you came in. You're glad that Yves doesn't want to speak to you either, because you think you would react rudely if he tries to strike up a conversation.

"(name)." You groggily lifted your head.

"You have a tutorial in ten minutes."

You rubbed your eyes and grumbled. Yves patiently watched you throw a silent fit. If only you weren't so... independent, you wouldn't be this overwhelmed. Yves would have fixed everything for you.

In the end, you said you don't want to attend it. He nodded understandingly.

"I will send an email to your tutors to excuse you for today." He switched tabs to his university email account, Yves began composing the message for you skillfully, he didn't have to wait and think about what to say.

You fought the urge to become complacent, speaking up for what you wanted. You said that you will handle it yourself, no need for him to coddle you like this.

The corners of his lips twitched downwards. He wordlessly deleted his draft and went back to his work. He is by no means ignoring you. Even when his focus isn't on your form, it somehow feels like he's searing holes into you from an invisible gaze.

He knows you wanted to go home. Today has been simply too much for you to handle. You're one inconvenience away from breaking down into inconsolable tears.

Yet, you persevered. Which Yves admires and dislikes at the same time. He respects your discipline, but he truly wanted you to give up and let him take care of you.

He paused his typing when he heard your soft snoring.

Yves immediately switched back to his email account and began drafting a letter of excuse addressed to the tutor of the day.

You still needed his help regardless.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #oc yves #yandere concept #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader

[joekeeryswife]

Can I pretty please request a Joe Quinn story about him and girlfriend/reader ( maybe a famous model or actress) finding out that paparazzi filmed/ have photos of them in their house having sex and joe is being a Dom like spitting in her mouth/ rough sex / face pushed into the wall ? (Doesn’t have to be too much smut )

Maybe they find out in an interview or something along those lines ? Joseph is like idolised for it but the reader is losing work over it ?

I love your work btw so amazing 💕

Exposed - J.Q

hello love! i’m so sorry this has taken me ages to write! i’ve just honestly had such a shit past couple of months and i’m just starting to enjoy writing again. im so bad at writing smut so i’m so sorry this is bad and cringy and this has a lot of mistakes! anyways, enjoy <3

also lmk if you want a part two!!

you had just finished posing on the red carpet when your manager, Tom, pulled you off quickly after seeing a video circulating twitter, instagram and tiktok. you could hear the paparazzi as they shouted at you 'i didn't know that was what you were into' 'can you believe someone who acts so innocent in interviews and the runway be into all that kinky stuff' 'what an absolute slut, how can anyone be her fan after that' and you couldn't of been more confused. Tom looked at you with sympathy as he passed you his phone, showing you a video the paparazzi had taken of you and Joseph.

your heart has dropped to the floor and the only feeling you could feel was the sickness rising in your throat. you felt like time had stopped and there was nothing you could do. you hadn't even realised the two of you were being filmed when you were in your own home and if you did notice maybe you could of stopped it from happening. the video had been posted thirty minutes ago and was taken last night when Joseph had surprised you.

he had been in America for a few weeks, doing interviews whilst you were in Paris for Paris Fashion Week. when he arrived yesterday at your home in the UK it had been the first time you were both free from fans and the media and one thing led to another and now your sex life was everywhere. you hated how your privacy had been invaded like that, yes you were a little kinky but you did not want that all over the internet and here you were holding in your sobs as the video continued.

Joseph was on the red carpet after you and was doing some interviews, he was also getting shouts from the paparazzi but not the same as you. they shouted things like 'go on lad' 'jesus Joseph you're like a sex god. you really had her on her knees mate' and even he was confused. you could hear the screams from the paparazzi and were appalled at the difference between you and him. he seemed to be getting idolised whereas you were being slut shamed for it. Joseph was led to an interviewer who straight out told him about the video.

"so Joseph we have all seen the video of you and your girlfriend Y/n, how do you feel about that being exposed to the world and how do you feel about the different responses you and y/n are getting?" the interviewer, Sophie, asked as she watched Joseph frown. "what video?" he replied, anxiety filling his body. Sophie’s eyes widened when she realised Joseph had absolutely no idea about what was circulating on the internet. before she could speak up they both turned their heads to the fans and paparazzi who were still shouting out at Joseph.

“Joseph what’s it like to be with a slut like y/n? seeing her like it rough is crazy because she’s so different online. you did an amazing job though mate” someone shouted, making his heart drop. why were they speaking about you like that? his frown deepened as he heard the man slut shaming you. “i’m sorry, i- i thought you knew” Sophie said, a bright red blush covering her face as she realised she’d just told Joseph about the video. “i’m so confused though. what video are we speaking about here?” he replied, scratching the back of his neck.

“the video that was filmed by the paparazzi. it’s of you and y/n in your house uhh. doing things” she said, taking her phone out of her blazer pocket and went straight on twitter, getting the video up. Joseph took the phone and watched the video, disgusted that this was filmed and posted without both of your permission. the video showed you on your knees, Joseph’s hand in your hair, making a makeshift ponytail as he guided you along his shaft. his head was thrown back and your hands were on his legs, you could tell that you were completely naked.

the next clip showed you up against the wall with Joseph behind you, his hand around your neck, pulling your head back to look at him. he left kisses on your forehead and cheeks as he fucked you. the last clip was you and Joseph on the bed, his hand yet again around your neck, your head thrown back. he was appalled that someone had filmed this, they had violated you and had exposed your body to everyone. the video ended with the man who filmed it laughing and whispered a quite ‘this is gonna go so viral’ before shutting off. he scrolled down to see varied reactions from the fans, the comments were both kinda positive and negative.

quite a few of the fans were disgusted that this was posted online right before a big event. some comments were disgusted by your behaviour but were praising Joseph. a few read:

‘this is so disgusting, the fact that this has been posted and people are slut shaming y/n is so bad. i just feel so sad for her.’

‘the difference between ‘the boys’ talking about Joseph being ‘the man’ but y/n being a slut just shows the difference between how women and men are viewed in society. poor y/n’

‘ew the fact that Joseph is with a whore like her is disgusting. he needs to get away from her’

‘wheyyyy Joseph is one of the lads’

‘y/n just looks fucking weird. why does someone as ‘innocent’ as her get kinky like that. i knew something is off about her’

Joseph felt sorry for you. he hated how much hate you were getting from the media and he could do nothing about it. you were looking through the comments as well, feeling so upset at what people were calling you. you thought you were safe in your own home but no, the media had been able to creep into your personal life and exposed it to the world. you passed the phone back to Tom and asked him to call you a taxi. you didn’t want to be in front of the cameras and fans. he called you a cab and took you into a back room which was thankfully at the event. Tom comforted you as you cried on his shoulder, the embarrassment finally taking over your body as you realised what this meant for you.

for years you had worked hard for your modelling career to grow, just like you had always dreamed of since you were a little girl and when you finally get to a place where you think this is the perfect time to grow even more this comes out. you knew that now everyone was gonna view both you and Joseph differently and both in completely different ways. Joseph was going to be praised and idolised for months, whereas you were gonna be slut shamed and lose work over it.

Joseph gave back the phone to the interviewer and got off of the red carpet, hoping to look for you so he could comfort you. he saw Tori, his manager, and ran up to her and whisper yelled “Tori, have you seen y/n? this videos come out and-” “i’ve seen Joseph. this is not good. y/n is getting so much hate and i feel so bad for her. she’s with Tom in the back, she looked so upset. i think he called her a taxi so she could go home” she cut him off, her face full of hurt and sympathy. he thanked her and nodded, leaving her so he could go find you. he walked down a hallway and could hear your sobs from a mile off.

he opened the door and saw you with your makeup smudged and hot tears rolling down your face as you tried to get words out. “y/n, sweetheart” he said, making your focus shift off of Tom and into Joseph who briskly walked to you. he wrapped his arms around you and let you sob into his chest. Tom left the room, giving the two of you some privacy which was the least he could do after this happened. “it’ll be okay love” Joseph said, kissing your forehead as he softly stroke the back of your neck. “how is this gonna be okay Joseph? i’m being slut shamed and i’m ruined. the paparazzi are ruthless and so are some of the fans.”

Joseph sighed, realising you were right. the fans and paparazzi were ruthless and there was nothing you could do. “i know. wrong choice of words i’m sorry” he said, kissing your cheek. you were both silent for a while before there was a knock at the door, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Taxis here miss y/n. it’s out the back waiting for you” Tom said as you pulled away from Joseph. “you coming?” you asked Joseph just wanting to get away from everyone and hide from the world.

he nodded, taking ahold of your hand as you walked out of the door and followed Tom to the back of the event where the taxi was luckily still there. you got in the back, the paparazzi seeing the two of you leaving and that’s when they started up again. the shouts got worse and worse as you made your way to the taxi and they were still shouting as the taxi driver started driving off. you were so humiliated. the whole taxi ride you were silent, looking down at your hands to avoid Joseph’s gaze.

“i know you may not wanna hear this now but it’ll go down. the media doesn’t hang onto one thing for long and before we know it it’ll calm down”. all Joseph was trying to do was cheer you up a bit after something so horrible was released without consent. your head lifted up as he spoke and looked into his eyes. as you drive past the street lights. Joseph could see the tears in your eyes as your lip quivered as you spoke. “i honestly now think-” you had to take a deep breath as your lip and chin quivered more “think that i’m gonna lose so much work from this”

Joseph’s heart broke hearing you say that because he knew it was true. the difference between men and women in the public eye and how the media treated them was unfair. if a man was being praised for what he did to a woman then a woman should be praised for what she did to a man, not slut shamed for it. you arrived home and quickly walked in, not waiting to be seen by anyone. you sat down on the sofa, your phone buzzing constantly with spam calls from your mum and friends. a few messages from Tom caught your eye. they read ‘i know this isn’t something you want to hear right now but Prada have emailed and said they’re sorry but they’re dropping you from the catwalk next week and so are Versace. i really think you should write a tweet and copy and paste it to instagram and just keep away from your phone and the outside for a few days x’

you couldn’t believe it. first you’re being slut shamed by the media and now you were losing runway work. you ignored the message, to hurt to even respond but went back to the video to see if any other nice comments had come about. Joseph walked in after paying the taxi driver to see you staring blankly at your phone. there were over 36 million views with 1 million comments on twitter and it was trending number 1. great. the comments were more varied now with a few celebrities chiming in agreeing that the paparazzi invaded personal privacy and it was disgusting and that you should take whoever sent out the video to court.

Joseph sat down next to you and took the phone out of your hands, knowing this was affecting you a lot more than it was affecting him. he pulled you into his arms as you quietly sobbed. this would be your first time walking for Prada and it was taken away in a matter of minutes because of a stupid video that came out. “i think maybe we should write something on twitter to get it out of the way sweetheart, what do you think?” he said, stroking your hair softly as he tried to calm you down. once he felt you nod he gave back your phone to allow you tot type out whatever you wanted.

the tweet read ‘obviously this video has come out without mine and Joseph’s permission and i am truly embarrassed that this has been shared out to the public. i have never in my life felt so humiliated by something and seeing a lot of negative comments has honestly made me realise that there are a lot of fake fans out there who won’t have my back. also seeing the difference between comments about Joseph and comments about me are shocking. we are both there so we should be treated the same, i shouldn’t be slut shamed for enjoying a relationship with my partner. if Joseph is being idolised then why can’t i? we are both doing the exact same activity. slut shaming me for this is rude and disrespectful. however i’ve also realised who my true fans are, seeing the supportive comments has made me feel a little better and i can’t thank you all enough for supporting me in this. this will 100% be taken care of and whoever posted that video will be taken to court. the video was filmed and posted without either of our knowledge and i am disgusted that someone can change someone’s life in a matter of seconds. i feel violated that my body has been exposed completely and i’m embarrassed that you have all had to see this video and i’m truly sorry. i am going to be off of social media for a while and i hope you all understand, thank you’

Joseph read over the post and nodded, approving that that was the perfect thing to post. once posted he pulled you back into his arms and sighed. “i promise you this will be taken care of” he said, kissing your forehead. you nodded your head, too tired from all the crying to even speak. you knew that if this was anyone else it would be a completely different scenario so being with Joseph here was perfect and you couldn’t be happier that he was still here supporting you after this. you knew that if this didn’t break you then nothing would, Joseph was your soulmate and anyone from the outside could see that you were both so in love with each other.

#fanfiction #imagines #joseph quinn character #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn imagines #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn smut #joseph x reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson angst #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson

[sailor-aviator]

My dearest Liz,

You mentioned that you’d write a little something about the saloon event from Jakes POV if there was enough interest. I would like to formally declare my interest in seeing that, I’m sure other people would love it too! (No pressure whatsoever, I mean this more as encouragement rather than pressure and I hope it comes off that way!)💜💜💜💜💜

Consider my pressured and motivated! I'm kidding, ily

"Where's Mav?" asked Bradley, looking around the entrance of town hall with a frown.

"He's already gone down to the saloon, Roos," Penny told him with a bemused smile. "His meeting started half an hour ago."

"Christ, is that the time already?" Bradley asked to no one in particular as he squinted at the clock above the mantle. The Daggers had all filed in one after the other, and Penny had chuckled at the sight. How people found these idiots scary was beyond her.

"Bobby's down there ain't he?" Mickey asked her, and she gave a quick nod of her head.

"Should be. Told me yesterday he'd look after the place while I enjoyed my day off."

"He's probably bored to tears by now," Jake drawled with a smirk, leaning against the far wall. He pushed off and started making his way for the door. "Let's go see'em before we meet with Mav."

The Daggers waved their goodbyes to Penny, laughing and hollering as they made their way down the road and to the saloon.

"Mav's gonna kill me for bein' late," Rooster mumbled as the men made their way down the road.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Micky laughed, earning a look from the larger man. "Not the time?"

"What was your first clue?" Bradley grumbled as the group approached the saloon. A small crowd was gathered outside, whispering amongst themselves.

"A fight break out already?" Reuben wondered aloud. The sound of shouting came from inside.

"Is that Bob?" Mickey asked, brow furrowing at the sound of the other man shouting from inside.

"Bitch!" roared a man from inside. He sounded familiar, and Jake's brow furrowed as he tried to place the voice. A loud smack sounded from inside, and Jake heard a woman cry out. His blood began to boil as he pushed his way through the crowd. Damn cowards just standin' around as a woman gets roughed up by some low-life. Made him sick just thinking about it. He shouldered his way past the last man by the door, the other Daggers not far behind, and he felt his blood run cold.

A group of men crowded the bar, leering excitedly. Two of the men had Bob in their clutches, holding the young man back as he gnashed his teeth trying to break free. His blue eyes were darting around wildly, but focused down to the girl pressed against the bar with each pass. No, not just any girl.

Jake felt a rage unlike anything he had ever felt before sweep over him, and his vision turned red as he watched the man he now recognized as Isaac pin you against the wood of the bar. Isaac grabbed at his belt, and Jake heard you let out a sob.

"No!" you screamed, sounding almost animalistic in your terror. Jake was moving before he even realized it, the only sound in his ears was the thundering of his heartbeat as he drew closer to the scene. He didn't notice his hand flying to the gun at his side or how quickly he drew it. No, he was solely focused on where you lay, helpless against your attacker.

*Click*

Jake cocked the pistol, pressing it into the temple of the older man. Everything seemed to stand still in that moment. He heard the other Daggers reach for their own weapons, but he paid them no mind.

"Let. Her. Go," he seethed. Isaac glanced down at you, and Jake felt his grip on the gun grow impossibly tighter as he pressed harder into the other man's head. Much slower than Jake would have liked, Isaac pulled off of you, and you scrambled into a sitting position, small hiccups escaping your lips as you clutched at your torn blouse. Jake's nostrils flared at the sound, trigger finger itching.

Jake saw Bob rush to your side, hands gently checking you over as tears continued to spill down your eyes. That should be him, Jake thought briefly, bitterly as he saw the younger man try to comfort you. The sound of footsteps thundered down the steps, and Jake watched from his peripherals as Maverick, Benjamin, and Solomon Grindle descend the steps to the scene below. Benjamin's eyes immediately darted to you.

"Scout?" he cried out in shock. You let out a shaky breath, and he felt your eyes dart to him. Isaac stared impassively at him.

"Hangman," he sniffed. Jake hated this man.

"What are you doing here?" he snapped. Isaac was being far too cavalier for Jake's liking, and he had half a mind to put a bullet between the other man's eyes then and there.

"Well," the other man drawled. "I came to collect retribution for what you took from me, but then I saw you with this pretty, little thing the other day, and I figured this would make for a good trade.”

Jake thought back to the job he and the other Daggers had returned from a couple of months back. He had taken from Isaac, that was true. He had taken his woman at the time, among other things. Jake hadn't thought much of it at the time. Isaac was scum of the earth, so why should he? He cursed himself for thinking Isaac wouldn't seek out his revenge.

"I didn't take anything from you that you couldn't replace," he spat. It was true that Isaac didn't care about the woman that Jake had bedded, but the blond knew that wasn't what had him so hellbent on getting even.

"I disagree,” the other man hummed, picking a piece of lint off his shirt. “You wounded my pride, Hangman. And what better retribution than taking your woman?”

Jake's jaw clenched at the threat. Yes, you were his, and he'd be dead in the cold, dark earth before he let anything happen to you.

He saw Maverick move towards him out of the corner of his eye.

"Jake," the older man said softly. Jake barely looked at him, to intent on Isaac. Maverick continued. "Not here, son."

Jake heard the pleading tone in Maverick's voice, finally turning to look at him. He gave a pointed look in your direction, and Jake nearly cried as he finally laid his eyes on you.

Tears streamed down your eyes, mixing with blood from a cut on your cheek. Bruises were already forming on your skin from where Isaac had clawed at you. Your clothes were torn, and you looked so scared. Jake almost dropped to his knees in front of you then and there to beg for your forgiveness.

“The only reason you’re leaving here alive,” he rumbled, nodding his head over at you, “is because she’s here.”

Isaac held eye contact with him for a moment before turning towards the door with a light laugh. Isaac cast one last glance back at you, smirking, and it took all of Jake's willpower to not put a bullet in his head then and there. He gestured for his men to follow him.

“You best keep an eye on her, Hangman,” he called over his shoulder. “Would be a right shame if something were to happen to her while you weren’t lookin’.”

Jake vowed then and there that he would see Isaac rot in the ground if it was the last thing he ever did.

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #top gun hangman #jake hangman seresin x you #dhtn #jake seresin x you #don't hang'em til noon #jake seresin fic #jake seresin fanfiction #jake hangman seresin imagine #hangman x reader #hangman top gun #hangman #hangman imagine #dhtn!jake and scout #dhtn!jake #jake and scout #scout and dhtn!jake #scout and jake #drabble

[happilyhertale]

Long Last Love - Aemond Targaryen x female!reader, Part 10

Summary: You are finally engaged to Aemond Targaryen. As the daughter of Daemon and Rhaenyra, you will now live in King's Landing and no longer on Dragonstone. Your marriage to Aemond is imminent, as is your life together. The relationship between Aemond and your family has never been particularly easy, but the future will show whether your love will withstand this and subsequent tensions.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: In some parts Smut (uncle/niece) as well as violence

Author’s note: Hey you (:

This is the follow-up story to "Long Lost Love".

The story starts just before the wedding of Aemond and y/n and goes over the events of the first season hotd. However, the events are not quite similar to those in the series. English is my second language, please forgive me if I made any mistakes (:

Word count: 4.3k

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Laughter fills the corridors. They are interrupted by occasional kisses that you exchange. Aemond holds you tightly around your waist while Alyssa is safe in your arms. You have been visiting Aemond in the training yard, as watching him fight is Alyssa's latest favourite pastime.

Ser Criston approaches you and stops a few paces away, "My Prince," he bows his head slightly, "Your mother is asking for you. She wishes me to escort you to her."

"What does she wish? I am actually in the middle of spending time with my family," Aemond counters him.

"It is on an urgent matter and cannot wait".

You look at him worriedly, you have a bad feeling. He returns your gaze briefly and then looks back at Ser Criston, "What about y/n?"

"She is not for me to escort"

Aemond turns to you, "Please go to our chambers and lock the door."

Now you look at him with real concern, "Aemond...?"

He kisses your lips briefly and gently strokes Alyssa's head, "I will come to you as soon as I know what is going on"

You nod and make your way to your chambers. Even Alyssa seems to notice the sudden tension between you. She buries her face in your chest and her small fingers clasp your hair. When you arrive in your chambers, you lock the door. You try to distract yourself and play a little with Alyssa.

Until you hear a knock on the door. You hesitate to open the door at first as Amond's voice comes, "Y/n it's me, please open the door"

You open the door and look into Aemond's face. He looks visibly worried.

"Aemond...? What happened?" you ask him.

He swallows visibly.

He enters the chambers and closes the door behind him.

As he turns back to you, he tries to smile.

Alyssa is sitting on the carpet behind you, playing with her wooden dragon.

You look at him questioningly, the whole situation frightens you.

"My Love...", he comes up to you and takes your hands.

"My father... your grandfather, he passed away".

Your eyes grow wide, "What...? Why...? How?"

Aemond just shakes his head, "I don't know exactly. But it seems his illness was too advanced... He fell asleep tonight and didn't wake up..."

Tears well up in your eyes. Aemond embraces you in his arms. You sob against his chest as he gently kisses your head.

"I have to go in a minute," you hear him whisper.

You look up startled, Aemond has tears in his eye too. You take his face in your hands and stroke him gently.

"What...? Why... where do you have to go?"

"I'm supposed to find Aegon... he's been missing since yesterday... I just wanted to come to you quickly and let you know..."

You nod and put your hands on his chest.

"Can you do me a favour?"

You look up, into his eye, "Of course."

"Will you please stay in our chambers?"

You look at him irritated, "Why should I stay in our chambers?"

He gently strokes your cheek, "I don't like to admit it but I worry about you"

"What? Aemond what's wrong?"

He smiles convulsively, "Nothing. But please do me a favour and stay here with Alyssa until I get back, will you?"

He kisses you softly.

"I'll be back as soon as I can"

You just nod.

What Aemond doesn't tell you is that something could happen to you. His mother has told him that they want to install Aegon as king... They don't want the news of the king's death to spread already, lest Rhaenyra come to King's Landing to claim the throne. They want to crown Aegon first.

He has tried to talk her out of it, if only because it might put you in danger and because Aegon is not the rightful heir to the throne. He is convinced by Aegon's lifestyle that he would make a terrible king. He just drinks and whores around. At a certain point in his life, he preferred these activities to education. But Alicent thinks it is the right decision. And because you are the daughter of Rhaenyra, he is afraid that something might happen to you or Alyssa.

Aemond leaves your chambers and you lock the door again.

You sit down on the floor with Alyssa and play with her. In the evening, food is brought to your chambers and shortly afterwards Aemond and Alicent come to your chambers. You sit on the sofa with Alyssa and try to feed her. You look up as they both enter your chambers.

Alicent looks very worried, as does Aemond.

"Y/n, my dear, Aemond has already told you?"

You nod, you carefully put Alyssa on the floor with her toys and walk towards Alicent, you hug each other. "I'm so sorry," you whisper softly to her, she holds you tighter.

As you release the embrace, she smiles at you in anguish.

You look at Aemond, but he has his gaze fixed on Alyssa.

"What's going on…?" you finally ask.

Alicent takes a step towards you, "Y/n... I know this is hard for you... it's not easy for me to say this, but... I need you to bend the knee to Aegon, please."

"What?", you gasp. Aemond is still avoiding your gaze.

"You can't be serious"

But neither Aemond looks at you nor Alicent changes her attitude.

You gasp and look at them desperately, "I can't! He's not the heir to the throne!" Alicent looks briefly at Aemond, who is still fixated on Alyssa, and then turns back to you, "Should your mother ascend the throne, she would have my children killed, including your husband, perhaps even your daughter. I must protect them."

"What?! With all due respect, she would never do that! Aemond is my husband, I love him, my mother knows that. Much less would she do anything to my daughter!"

Alicent exhales heavily, "She would have to consolidate her claim to the throne..."

"...and she did that with Jace's birth!" you interrupt her.

Alicent looks at you pleadingly as Aemond finally steps forward, "My Love... please. Do it for me"

You look at him, aghast. He knows that you would always stand with him and the fact that he is now taking advantage of this makes you angry.

"I'll leave you to discuss this in peace," Alicent smiles but her eyes show the sadness she feels.

Alicent leaves your chambers.

You look angrily at Aemond.

"Aemond? What are you doing? You know this isn't right. You know my mother wouldn't hurt you. Is that how your mother got Aegon to change his mind?"

Aemond sighs, "Y/n... You must not go against Aegon... he would..."

"...come for my head? Let him!"

A shiver runs through Aemond and he looks at you painfully, "Please... don't say that! You know he would! And then... I'd have to kill him first..."

You walk up to him and take his hand, "Aemond... This isn't right"

He looks at you pleadingly. And you see in his eye that he knows it's not right... But how is he supposed to go against his family.

You close your eyes as they fill with tears. Thick tears fall on your dress and soak it.

"My mother will know that I never willingly bent the knee to Aegon. They will come for me... Daemon will come for me."

Aemond stiffens, "I won't let that happen."

"Then stop asking to bend my knee! Let's leave this place!"

He takes your face in his hands, "Please... for your safety... For Alyssa's safety... please restrain yourself."

You snort and look at him angrily, "You demand too much of me, Aemond."

He nods, "I know, I'm sorry... I'll make it up to you. I promise"

He kisses you softly but you don't return the kiss.

His forehead rests against his as you hear him whisper, "I love you."

You rest your face in the crook of his neck, "You should stand with us. With your wife... with your daughter," you murmur.

He holds you close, "I would do anything for you..."

"I will arrange for Ser Criston to stand guard outside our chambers. I will speak to my mother. I want to know you are safe when I am not around."

You just snort.

You are in your chambers the next morning, Alyssa is on your lap and you hold her close. She seems to realise how tense the whole situation is and instead of playing and shouting happily as usual, she just lies in your arms. She has rested her head on your chest while gently running her small hand through your hair. You softly hum a melody for her and stroke her back.

When suddenly your door opens and you both look up.

Alyssa's eyes sparkle as Aemond enters your chambers, but Aemond does not give her his immediate attention as usual. You look at him worriedly, "What's wrong now?"

He shakes his head, "I don't understand these decisions that are being made."

You continue to look at him perplexed.

"They have imprisoned Princess Rhaenys"

A startled "Why" leaves your lips.

He looks at you angrily, "They don't want word to get out that my father... that King Viserys is dead"

"I don't quite understand... They want to keep it a secret that he is dead?"

Aemond nods, "They don't want your mother to know. That's why Princess Rhaenys was locked up, so she can't tell your mother"

You look to the side and snort. Alyssa is still sitting quietly on your lap and looks back and forth between you and Aemond. Until she tries to snort like you to get your attention. You smile at her and gently caress her cheek.

You look at Aemond again, "She wanted to visit her terminally ill cousin... your father, for the last time... and now she's being held?"

Aemond looks to the side, his jaw tense.

"Aemond... Please... You must realise this isn't right," you literally beg him to agree with you.

He looks at you, "I have spoken to my mother about the guard who is to be by your side at all times now."

You look at him stunned and then turn your attention to Alyssa.

Aemond continues talking, "She does not want Ser Criston to leave her side."

You don't look up and smile at Alyssa instead.

"Ser Erryk Cargyll will be at your side. Instead of an experienced knight to protect you, one who has no experience will do it now."

You look up and simply nod.

He joins you on the sofa. He smiles at Alyssa as she turns to him and holds out her arms.

He takes her in his arms and hugs her to him.

"My Love...", he whispers.

And you look at him.

"I'm sorry for the way it all turned out."

You nod.

"Tomorrow is to be the coronation of Aegon," he whispers.

You sigh.

"But I would feel more comfortable if you stayed here in our chambers. Knowing that you are safe here with Alyssa... that would put my mind at ease"

You look at him, "And what thought is supposed to reassure me? When you stand in the crowd and witness the illegitimate coronation?"

He caresses your cheek, "I'll be back in our chambers as soon as I can, okay?"

You nod and lean into his touch.

The next morning, Aemond leaves your chambers after bidding you farewell with kisses.

You play with Alyssa all morning, trying to coax words out of her that don't just sound like baby talk.

When all of a sudden you feel a huge tremor. The cups on the table near you fall over and roll to the ground. The quake is followed by a deafening noise. Alyssa clings to you fearfully and screams.

You cling to her and try to calm her with soothing sounds, hoping they will soothe you too.

You slowly walk to the window and as far as your eye can see, the city seems to be covered in a grey veil. Everything settles into what feels like darkness.

Alyssa is still screaming, "Ssshh ñuha riñītsos. Mirre kessa sagon sȳz. Momma's kesīr (Ssshh my little girl. Everything will be alright. Momma's here.)

She looks at you with tears streaming down her face. You hug her to you, "Momma gūrogon care hen ao" (Momma take care of you)

As you suddenly look out the window again, "Aemond..." leaves your lips.

You suddenly feel a rising panic inside you. At first you just wanted to hold Alyssa close and know she was safe, but what about Aemond?

Alyssa seems to realise that you are panicking, she screams at the top of her lungs.

You try to calm yourself, hoping that it will calm her too.

You gently kiss her head, "Kessa jī se find poppa? kessa? ivestragī īlva jikagon se ūndegon lo issa sȳz" (Shall we go and find Poppa? Yes? Let's go and see if he's alright)

This seems to reassure her. Her cries seem to become quieter. You rock her back and forth a little more and gently kiss her head until only soft whimpers can be heard.

You go to the door of your chambers and open it. Outside in the corridor there is no one to be seen. You step outside and look for someone who could give you information, but the keep seems to be empty. You walk briskly through the corridors, but you meet no one. Alyssa is pressed tightly against you and she also clings to you anxiously.

Slowly you feel the panic rising in you again. You are almost certain that something must have happened to Aemond and you just can't find anyone who could convince you otherwise.

As you stride through another hall to get to the other part of the keep, tears well up in your eyes. Individual tears have already found their way down your cheek.

"Y/n!"

You turn around, startled, and see Aemond. He looks worried and comes running towards you.

You come towards him and your tears stream down your cheeks.

"Aemond!" you gasp. He takes you in his arms as he reaches you and presses you close to him. You press your face into his chest, Alyssa is between you.

"I thought something had happened to you," you manage to say between sobs.

"Ssh... nothing happened to me. But I told you I'd come back to our chambers."

You look up, "I had to make sure you were all right.."

He strokes your cheek, "I ran through the keep after I saw our chambers were empty... I thought... something had happened to you"

You shake your head vigorously.

Alyssa is quiet between you and seems to enjoy being safely between you.

He puts his arm around you, "Let's go to our chambers, we can't talk here," he whispers in your ear. You nod and he leads you.

As you arrive in your chambers, it bubbles out of you, "I just felt the tremor and heard that noise..." a tear runs down your cheek again, Aemond gently wipes it away.

"Rhaenys is gone"

You look at him irritated, "What? What happened?"

He leads you to the sofa, Alyssa doesn't want to leave your side and is very content to sit between you.

"The coronation took place at the Dragonpit"

You look startled, "What?"

He nods, "Vhagar and Meraxes are fine. I went down into the pit and made sure they were okay."

You nod.

"A large part of the population was gathered at the Dragonpit to witness that Aegon is now the king." You tense your jaw.

"Then in the midst of the coronation it happened, Rhaenys broke through the ground of the Dragonpit on Meleys"

You tear your eyes open and stammer another "What?"

"She came through the floor and stood in front of us with Meleys. When she stood in front of us, I expected her to burst us into flames... My thoughts were only about you and Alyssa…. That I would never see you again…"

You reach for his arm and you notice how worried Aemond actually looks.

You swallow visibly.

Aemond looks you in the eye, "But then she spun Meleys around and escaped from the Dragonpit"

There is silence in your chambers. Only the soft snoring of Alyssa, lying between you, can be heard.

"If she had done it... Killed you all... I would never have forgiven her...", you reach for his hand "... but still, it's not right. You should never have locked her up... never done this coronation..."

He looks at you and he just nods.

You kiss his lips gently.

After Aegon's coronation, you spend most of your time in your chambers. At the moment you don't mind, because you don't feel comfortable in any other place in the keep. Alyssa is with you, you hardly let her out of your sight. You fear that something might happen to her if you are not alert for even a moment.

Ser Erryk is by your side from now on. You find him congenial and he is always polite and caring towards you.

Most of the time he simply stands outside your chambers, keeping a close eye on who goes in and who goes out.

But sometimes you invite him in. Now that Aemond is even more involved in royal duties, you see him even less often and you long for an adult you can talk to, someone with whom you can have conversations that don't consist of baby talk.

Often you just sit on the sofa and you just talk. Be it about unimportant topics, but also political topics are discussed. He is also very good with Alyssa. Plays with her and keeps an eye on her when you need a moment's peace.

Aemond came into your chambers a few times when you were sitting there with Sey Erryk and he didn't like it.

Ser Erryk then immediately excuses himself and leaves you two alone.

Aemond thinks it inappropriate that the guard who is supposed to protect you is not at your door, but is in your chambers talking to you, exchanging the latest gossip.

You think it's silly and sometimes you argue about it for a moment. But deep down you think Aemond is just jealous that Ser Erryk is the one who can talk to you in your chambers and he has no time to spend with you in your chambers. Besides, he doesn't like to see another man looking after Alyssa in your chambers.

In all your conversations with Ser Erryk, you have developed the feeling that he sympathises with your mother. He has never said it literally, but you sense that he thinks Aegon's coronation is illegitimate. That still makes it easy for you to like him.

As usual, you will spend the morning with Alyssa in your chambers. When the door opens and Aemond enters.

He watches you for a moment and smiles, "Well... Does Ser Erryk not play with you at all?"

You look up and stick out your tongue.

He chuckles and sits down with you for a moment.

"My Love... Aegon wishes you to join us at the council meeting"

You look at him irritated, "Me? Why?"

Aemond shakes his head barely noticeably, "I don't know exactly, but he wants to announce something"

You sigh, "Okay... So now I'm going to be involved too"

You stand up and want to take Alyssa in your arms, but Aemond gently takes your hand and pulls you towards him, you stand between his legs. He embraces you and lets his forehead rest against your lower belly. He only murmurs a "my Love". You caress his hair gently, "Come on Aemond... Let's get this over with".

He nods and stands up. A light kiss lands on your lips before he picks Alyssa up. You leave your chambers together, Ser Erryk following, always a few steps behind you.

You have brought Alyssa to Helaena. Jaehaera and Jaehaerys look at you with joy as you enter Helaena's chambers. They don't see Alyssa so much anymore, because she is mostly with you, and you don't spend as much time with Helaena and the children as you did before.

As you enter the small council room, the others are already gathered. Aegon sits at the head of the table and Alicent and Otto sit to his right. Aemond takes a seat to his left and you sit right next to him. Other Lords are present, but you pay them no further attention. To you they are nothing more than traitors.

As Aemond places his gem in the notch in the table, the meeting starts.

Aegon looks at you, "Brother. Niece. Have you finally managed to grace us with your presence?"

You try to smile. This is the kind of idiot Aemond has to deal with every day.

"Brother, we still had to take Alyssa to Helaena."

Aegon nods slightly, "Very well then, let us begin."

Aegon now looks directly at you, "Dear niece. How devoted are you to your husband?"

You look first at him and then at Aemond questioningly, "Why?"

"That is not an answer to my question."

You look irritated, "Aemond is my husband and I will always be by his side."

Aegon nods, "Then surely you know nothing of what your mother has done?"

You shake your head slightly, "No? What did she do?"

"She has had herself crowned Queen of the Seven Kingdoms"

Inside you feel a great joy but you just look at Aegon.

"Do you know anything about it?" he asks.

But before you can answer, Aemond intervenes, "Brother, how would she know what is happening on Dragonstone? She is here with us"

Now Aegon's gaze wanders to Aemond, "Well, it is well known that she has a very good relationship with her father... Maybe she is secretly in contact with him"

"Careful brother. You will not drag her into this"

Aemond puts his hand on yours which is on the table as he and Aegon exchange venomous glances.

Alicent interjects, "Aemond... we're worried about the coronation of Rhaenyra and that's why we thought it might be good if you flew to Storm's End."

Aemond looks at her motionless until Aegon speaks again.

"You are to wed one of Borros Baratheon's daughters."

Your gaze jumps to Aegon, and Aemond too can only stare at him at first, holding your hand tightly in his.

"Brother. I am already married. You may have been well drunk at the wedding, but it can't have slipped your mind"

"Aegon the Conqueror also had two wives," is the only thing he replies with a smile.

You feel the anger rising in you. How can Aemond remain so calm?

"That is probably true, but still I am not Aegon the Conqueror, nor am I king".

Until you can no longer contain yourself, "Furthermore, he married his sisters! In Valyrian tradition he has united the Targaryen blood! Not some Baratheon whore, you imbecile." You seethe with rage. You mutter another, "Perhaps you should study the history of your house before suggesting such a thing," as you earn a warning look from Aemond. Nevertheless, he strokes your hand to reassure you.

Aegon looks at you and smiles slightly, "Dear niece... You don't need to react so angrily. Don't worry, you'll still be his main wife... and if he turns to his other wife for the few nights, I know someone who would warm your bed..."

"Brother!" Aemond warns him. Now he too is getting angry.

"I remain his only wife! There will be no more weddings," you reply dryly.

Aegon only smiles.

You look at Aemond in disbelief.

"I will not marry a Baratheon lady. That is out of the question," he looks at Aegon emotionlessly.

"Aemond...", Alicent chimes in "...I am asking you to fly to Stom's End..."

"...I will not get engaged," now he turns to his mother.

"... to make sure the Baratheons are on our side."

Aemond pauses for a moment and nods.

"Good... then we have settled that issue," Alicent finally says.

The other lords in the room have not dared to interfere in this conversation. They look everywhere but in your direction.

"Mother, we would like to withdraw."

Aemond doesn't even wait for her reply as he takes your hand and stands up from the table with you.

"I want you to fly out tonight so that no time is lost".

Aemond nods at her.

The way back to your chambers is quiet. You say nothing, Aemond's arm is simply around your waist. Ser Erryk follows you at a distance. When you arrive in the chambers, Aemond is holding you in his arms.

"I'm so sorry you had to listen to such things... I really didn't know what he was going to suggest."

You nod and press your face further into the crook of his neck.

"I love you... never forget that," you whisper.

He chuckles softly, "How could I... Or are you afraid I'll marry a Baratheon lady?"

You punch him, "You wouldn't dare. And perhaps I should remind you that your brother has just offered to warm my bed..."

He smiles and takes your face in his hands.

A passionate kiss follows.

He sighs as he breaks the kiss, "You are my weakness as well as my strength... I would never wed another woman"

You kiss him again.

"We can still go to Dragonstone," you whisper.

He just smiles sadly, "First I have to fly to Stom's End now.... I'll be back as soon as I can"

You nod.

Another kiss follows before Aemond leaves your chambers.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Tag list

@leahjean @afro-hispwriter @jeyramarie @powellssaturn @notabotiswear @hoshi-miharu-blog @random-human02 @m00n5t0n3 @sporadicshepherdzinebear @drewsgfduh @stargaryenx @dark-night-sky-99 @ccosmic-illusion @darylandbethfanforever9 @grungegrrrl @spn-obession @carlottalhn @elle4404 @girl-with-an-orange-cat @genshinimpactislife @imjustboredso @tragicbucky @dollfaceyourfear @magnificantmermaid @mllemarianne @mikariell95 @khaothick @aemonds-wifey @burningshewolf @munsonswrld @jackierose902109 @scaraxmouche @bucky-thorin-winchester @alexandra-001 @yentroucnagol @cicaspair418 @tropicprincess08 @simplyarryn

#aemond x y/n #ewan mitchell #hotd #aemond fanfiction #aemond imagine #aemond x you #aemond targaryen #aemond fic #aemond smut #aemond fanfic #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #hotd smut #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen x original character #aemond targaryen x targaryen!reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond fluff #aemond targaryen imagine #house of the dragon aemond #aemond drabble #aemond one eye #prince aemond #prince aemond targaryen #hotd aemond x reader #dad aemond #aemond the kinslayer #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #hotd aemond

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Mistaken

It’s a miscommunication one where Eddie gives you a necklace with a promise ring on it and you lose it and you don’t tell him that you lost it till Eddie Sees Jason holding it and helping you put it on your neck one day after school ( Jason is the readers brother and isn’t a jerk but Eddie doesn’t know that ) so Eddie sees this and breaks up with you and decides to move on but and completely ignores you and you suddenly start crying telling Eddie everything and that you love him which is the first time saying it to him. A lot of angst at the start middle and towards the end all fluff and cute ?

Warnings; Angst, fluff, miscommunications, break up, making up.

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated.

@mayahawkeluver I hope you like this 😘

Y/n felt like an idiot. The necklace with the promise ring Eddie her boyfriend gave her was lost and she was practically frantic.

Jason her step brother was helping her look, he didn't like Eddie much but had softened towards him when he saw how much Eddie was smitten with her and treated her like a princess.

The only teeny problem was that while Eddie knew she had a step brother she hadn't told him it was Jason.

The two of them ( Eddie and Jason) had just started being civil to each other and because her mother married Jason's father he was her stepbrother and she didn't have the Carver name.

Not many people actually knew that they were brother and sister. She had her group at school and he had his and they didn't interact much.

"Found it". Jason smiles and dangles the necklace with the ring that was lodged under her car seat.

"Oh thank goodness, thanks Jason, I owe you one". He ruffles her hair which makes her scowl and she asks him to help her put it back on.

It's such a relief that she found it, shes so happy she doesn't notice Eddie watching her and Jason and storm into school with a devastated expression on his face.

❤

It's been a strange day, Eddie has been avoiding her all day yesterday and today and she is anxious to know what's wrong.

She soon finds Eddie and heads over to him feeling nervous and a little angry that he's been distant since yesterday.

"Eddie why have you been ignoring me?". He won't look her in the eye and she feels sick to her stomach.

What's wrong with him? He glares at her and she steps back confused.

"You really can't think of a reason?". He snaps and she shakes her head.

"No!'. He scowls.

"I've been distant because I want to break up". She blinks stunned thinking she has misheard him but she hasn't. His face is blank, posture tense.

"Eddie why? I don't understand?". She sobs and he looks away from her and storms off slamming his locker door as he does.

No explanation as to why he wants to break up, nothing. Was he bored of her? Tears roll down her cheeks, she doesn't know what she has done and rushes to the girl's bathroom sobbing her heart out.

💞

For the next few days Eddie completely ignores her, he won't even look her way and her place at the Hellfire table sits empty as she is too stunned to sit there.

Why was he so angry at her? She truly didn't understand why? She had spent most of the last night going through everything that happened the last month to figure out why he's broken up with her.

Maybe there is no explanation. Maybe he just decided he had enough of her? Maybe he didn't love her as she loved him?

The thoughts swirl around in her head and she decides to talk to him one last time to at least give him the necklace and ring back.

So at the end of the day, she approaches him with the necklace and ring and taps his shoulder.

"Eddie?". He stiffens and she swallows feeling the tears come.

"I don't know what I did to make you hate me but I brought back the ring and necklace, I don't know if you do want it back but I thought it was best to offer". He turns to her and there is pain in his eyes.

He doesn't take the ring and necklace, she wipes her eyes.

"I understand if you don't want me anymore, god you know that on Monday I couldn't find the necklace and was freaking out, Jason helped me find it and put it back on me, he's been less of a douche this year, a better brother, Chrissy is a good influence on him".

She misses his gaping face and carries on talking.

"I've fallen so in love with you Ed's I was heartbroken when you ended things". She looks up and notices he's pale and muttering to himself.

"Jesus H Christ, I am so fucking stupid princess. I broke up with you because I saw you with Jason, him putting the necklace on you and stupidly putting two and two together to make five. I thought you were flirting with him".

She snorts then grows annoyed.

"Edward Munson. Are you telling me all of this is because you thought I was flirting with Jason?". He swallows.

"In my defence, I only met your parents once and I knew you had a step brother but you didn't say it was Jason". She sighs.

"That's true. I am still pissed at you though Eds why not just talk to me first?". He nods.

"I know I know. Wait... You're in love with me?". His eyes light up and she huffs crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes but I am still mad. You ignored me and I had no clue what I was supposed to have done, I mean I understand but if we just talked it could have saved all of this hurt".

He strokes her cheek.

"I am so sorry sweetheart. I should have just asked you. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad. I am so in love with you, I've fallen in love with you".

This makes her heart soar in happiness and he pulls her into a hug kissing her forehead.

"Come to mine tonight sweetheart? I'll make my famous mac and cheese and let you, My beautiful girl pick the movie we watch?". She smiles.

"You got yourself a deal, Munson". He stops her before they leave and places the necklace with the promise ring around her neck.

Gently he takes her hand and kisses her ring finger.

"One day I am going to get you a ring for this finger and you'll be my wife, I'll love and cherish you forever sweetheart".

She can't wait until that day comes and little did she know that at Christmas that year she was going to get a little surprise.

❤ 💍

#eddie munson fluff

[jaehyunspeachparty]

Let's make a wonder! - part 1

pairing: jaehyun x reader

genre: husband!jaehyun, dad!jaehyun, fluff, angst, smut

summary: It's always been your dream to have a child, but when you got pregnant by Jaehyun, the timing wasn't right. It seemed like everything was falling around you, but still, this little miracle was inside you.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 |

masterlist

It was a warm evening in Seoul. The sun was just going down and a pleasant calm returned to the city. You trudge to the convenience store with an oversized hoodie, jogging pants and slippers. You've been nauseous, but at the same time you're craving something salty and sweet.

When you were in the convenience store, you immediately grab a basket and look for the things you would like to eat. You had a violent attack of PMS. You were moody, had back pain and cravings. Actually, you just wanted to go to bed quickly, back to your husband's cozy body. It wasn't long ago that you spontaneously married Jaehyun Jung. You found each other after so many ups and downs in such a long time. You finally realized that you were meant for each other. Even though you were under so much stress, you were somehow happy. You were so in love, so filled with love and you felt invincible. SM Entertainment's statement about the wedding has just come out and the reaction hasn't been very positive. But you knew you wanted to do it somehow. It was now your focus to get through that and also to find a new apartment.

"Is that all?" the cashier asked when you placed the basket at the cash register. You nod and look for your wallet. But you notice in the corner of your eye how the seller laughed as he scanned all the sweets. It was the same guy that was in the store yesterday and you also bought a lot of candy before.

"I know there are a lot of sweets ..." You didn't have to justify yourself, but you felt like a little girl who wasn't supposed to eat that much sweets. You couldn't really care what the clerk thought, but somehow you felt uncomfortable. But the young man smiled and shook his head.

"My girlfriend is pregnant too. She eats exactly the same things." You look at him with wide eyes and fall silent. 

"These are her favorite cookies since she is pregnant." He picked up a package and laughed. He meant well and kindly, but you were in shock. Could it be? Were you pregnant? You could hardly think straight at that moment.

You quickly pack your things and run back to your apartment. Jaehyun was still in bed, looking through his phone. He looked at you but only saw you throw the shopping bag on the bed. Jaehyun put down his phone and watched you. Something was wrong, but you didn't say a word. You start looking for something in the bathroom and Jaehyun comes to you as well. 

"Y/N, what's up?" He asked, watching you panickedly search the shelf under the sink. But you don't say anything and keep looking until you find the packaging. You always had some spare pregnancy tests to be safe, you just didn't think you'd need one anytime soon.

"Y/N, what's that?" Jaehyun asked, and you took out the test strip out of the packaging. 

"A pregnancy test." You look at him with wide eyes. You freeze for a moment and look into his dark eyes.

"What? I thought you were getting your period?" Jaehyun was a bit panicky like you and he was right. You told him before that you're getting your period because you're having cramps.

"I also thought...I just don't know. I just take the test now." You send him out and close the bathroom door. First you take a deep breath, but then you open the cap of the test and pee on it. When you are done, you go out to Jaehyun and sit on the bed.

Jaehyun knelt before you and stroked your arms.

"Do you think you ...?" He was suddenly calmer and more relaxed. But you didn't have an answer.

"I don't know ..." You start to sob because you can't control your emotions anymore. You see that the test was almost done and you lift the strip and look at the result. Your heart rate increased, but you feel Jaehyun touching you soothingly.

"And?" Asked Jaehyun, looking up at you. You take a deep breath and show him the display.

"Pregnant." You didn't know what to think. That was so much at once. You keep looking at the letters and tears roll down your cheeks. Jaehyun sat down next to you and rested his head on your shoulder. He said nothing, probably he had to collect himself. In principle, it shouldn't come as a surprise. You were very lazy with contraception and you were young and healthy. The probability was high, but you hadn't really thought about it.

After you stared at the pregnancy test and were silent for a few minutes, Jaehyun tried to speak up.

"Are we happy?" he asked cautiously. Actually, it was all quite a lot for him, but he couldn't really classify his emotions.

"I don't know, are we happy?" Actually, you only answered him with a question. You lay on your back on the bed and stare at the ceiling.

"I always wanted to be a mother, I thought I would be happier." You sigh and feel Jaehyun lay down next to you.

"I have to tell my manager..." He tried to make a mental list to clear his head.

"We urgently need a bigger apartment," you say, turning to your husband.

"We have to tell my parents." Jaehyun jumped out in panic. The last meeting with his parents and you didn't go well. They're still mad that you secretly married. If they found out now that you were pregnant, they would get really mad.

The next thing Jaehyun saw was that you were sitting in bed and you were crying loudly now. He looked at you worried and hugged you.

"We should be happy," you sniff into his shoulder.

"You're right," he said softly, and he pulled you even closer to him. He kissed you softly and touched your stomach. It was weird for you that he touched you there, but also beautiful at the same time.

"All changes come at once, but we can do it....right?" You look up from his hand to his face.

"Yes we can do this." He smiled and then you kissed gently.

___________

Jaehyun woke up, but suddenly he wasn't lying in your bed anymore, he was back at his parents' house. It was his old childhood room where he woke up. He got up and went into the living room to check on his parents. He heard the TV playing and he wanted to see if it was his father sitting on the couch. But all he saw was a little boy sitting in front of him. He watched the same cartoons he loved to watch as a kid. Jaehyun moved closer to examine the image more closely, but then the boy turned to him and smiled. Jaehyun was startled because that was him. The child looked just like he had looked back then. Jaehyun didn't quite know what was happening here, but the boy held out his hands and shouted "Daddy".

Jaehyun woke up with a racing heart. He struggled with his breathing and it took him a moment to regain consciousness. He sat up and wiped the sweat from his forehead when he saw you sitting by the window with your legs together and staring ahead of you.

"Morning," Jaehyun said softly, coming over to you. He kissed your shoulder and stroked your back. His touch brings you back to reality and you smile when you see him again.

"Hey, morning," you say quietly, stroking his face.

"How are you?" he asked, looking at you worriedly with his dark eyes.

"Physically fine. I'm just a little sick. Other than that..." You look down at yourself and put your hands on your stomach. "And otherwise I'm excited, nervous, anxious...but also happy." You smile and couldn't believe you were pregnant.

"I feel the same," Jaehyun then said, taking your hand.

"The thing about being happy too?" You weren't quite sure how Jaehyun felt about all of this. After all, he was also worried about his career.

"Yeah, that too. I had a dream. There was a little boy, he looked just like me, but he called me Daddy. And I kinda liked being called that." He smiled contentedly and then looked at you.

"Do you think it's going to be a boy?" you ask him then and lean towards him.

"I don't know, but my dream thought so." He laughed and stroked your hair. You briefly enjoy the peace and happiness that accompanies you for a few seconds, but soon reality hit you again.

"I have to tell my manager..." Jaehyun sighed and grabbed his phone.

"Wait, shouldn't we wait a little longer. At least until week 12?" The fear of having a miscarriage accompanies you constantly and you wanted to be over the risky time before you tell everyone.

"I know, but my career is in danger anyway. I will only inform him, but they should not announce anything." Jaehyun seemed nervous and you were uncomfortable. But you knew that everything was very difficult right now, so you agree.

"Okay, but he should keep it to himself or just tell the most important ones in secretiveness." You give Jaehyun a nervous look and he nods in understanding.

"Thanks, I know this isn't easy for you after what you've been through before..." He knew it was hard for you to have had a miscarriage before. He would never ask you to take this step if everything around you wasn't so difficult.

The phone call with Jaehyun's manager was very long and intense. The manager was screaming, full of anger and then full of despair. Jaehyun held back very much and let it all come to him. Somehow you felt bad. This baby made your situation much more difficult. And after more than an hour, Jaehyun was finally able to hang up. With a sigh, he sat back down on the bed and put his head in his hands in despair.

"What happened?" you ask him cautiously and put your hands around him.

"He was so upset. He needs to talk about it with the CEO. But I have to speculate with not being in NCT anymore." He buried his hands more in his hair. You didn't see his face, but you knew it was all difficult for him.

___________

"I wouldn't come now in your position...no...the fans are down and they're just really mad...don't worry..." Johnny strode through the dorm trying to calm his friend down. The others watched him and they too were tense.

"Did you think Jaehyun would be the first?" Taeil asked, he was really confused by the situation.

"Well, I already knew he liked Y/N, but I really didn't think he was going to marry her right away." Yuta shrugged and tried to keep listening to Johnny. 

"I think Jaehyun should have thought more about us. Our image is in danger and the fans are camping and protesting in front of our apartment and in front of the SM building. At least he could have told us something..." Doyoung took a sip of his Americano and while speaking these words, he didn´t even look at his members.

"Hey, don't be so hard on Jaehyun. We know how much Y/N ​​means to him." Taeyong also tried to be calm in this situation. He could tell the other members were uneasy, but he knew it was important to keep a clear head now.

"Think about Taeyong, all our private relationships are now being closely monitored. It's not like we don't have enough Saesang already." Doyoung rolled his eyes and continued flipping through his newspaper, still not daring to look at the others.

"He's right, now we'll be under more surveillance," Yuta said and sighed. There was a brief silence between everyone, they didn't know what to say anymore, but then Johnny came back to them. His phone call with Jaehyun was now over and he sat down with the others.

"And what does he say?" Taeyong asked, looking up at Johnny with his doe eyes.

"He's pretty exhausted. We have to consider the fact that he won't be in NCT anymore..." Johnny bowed his head, feeling quite shocked by the news. If Jaehyun had to leave the group, it would be like losing a kind of brother.

"What? I thought he was just taking a hiatus? That's what Lee Soo-man said." Meanwhile, Mark joined the group with Haechan and Jungwoo.

"I thought so too, but Jaehyun said we should expect him to go." Johnny sighed and tried to collect himself. The whole group was quiet and everyone tried to think how to keep Jaehyun in the group.

"I think that´s weird, actually Lee Soo-man keeps his promises...", Mark then said and the others agreed with him.

"Right, maybe I should talk to him? I have a good relationship with him," Taeyong suggested, but then Doyoung puts the newspaper aside and looks at his members for the first time.

"Maybe you wait and see. If Lee Soo-man has other plans for Jaehyun, then maybe something else happened." Doyoung looked around and only saw confused faces. He shook his head and then went to his room.

"What's wrong with him?" Haechan whispered to Mark, who just shrugged.

"But maybe Doyoung is right. We should find out everything and then somehow figure out how to convince the authorities that he can stay. The others nodded and everyone knew that they had to help Jaehyun somehow.

___________

When you woke up in the morning, you immediately threw up. The pregnancy became more and more noticeable day by day. Your nausea didn't stop and so you spent the morning with your head on the toilet bowl. Meanwhile, while you wait for your next round of throwing up again, you look at your phone. Your Instagram was private but suddenly you had thousands of requests. They were either Korean or anonymous profiles. You knew that didn't mean anything good. Apparently, the fans had figured out your identity and that made you even more nervous. In response to this, you immediately vomited again.

After feeling like you're done, you get up, brush your teeth, and go back to bed. Jaehyun was still in the sheets, but he was already awake. He sat up, pulled you towards him and pushed up your shirt.

"Good morning baby," he said softly, kissing your belly. He stroked it and looked up at you.

"Good morning Mummy," he grinned and with his hand he took yours and pulled you towards him so he could kiss you.

"How can you be so happy?" you ask him, wrapping your arms around him.

"Repression," he said, stroking your temple.

"I think they know who I am now," you say quietly and show him your Instagram. He looked at it, but then he picked up your phone and put it aside.

"Leave it, don't read anything." He suddenly became serious, but he had enough experience with shitstorm.

"But shouldn't I face that?" you ask him, but he immediately shakes his head.

"No, not in this case. It's better for your psyche..." He stroked your head.

"...and our baby." His hand went to your stomach. You put your hand over his and you enjoy the silence. But then he kissed you and looked deep into your eyes.

"I have to tell the boys," he said seriously.

"What? Can't we wait until I'm over 12 weeks?" You wanted to keep it as long as possible.

"They have to know, I can't hide it from them..." Jaehyun was already looking at you begging, but you weren't sure.

"Yes, I know...I've had a miscarriage before, what if it happens again?" Tears collected in your eyes and you didn't know what to think.

"It will not happen again." You found Jaehyun's statement presumptuous. He had no idea what you had been through.

"You don´t know that." You stand up and grab your forehead. The whole situation was already stressful.

"But how can I look them in the eye and hide that from them?" Jaehyun watched you walking, but you shook your head.

"Please Y/N..." He looks at you and you stop at that moment.

What should you do?

___________

next: part 2

#jaehyun #jaehyun!dad #nct jaehyun #nct 127 #nct #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun angst #daddy jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #nct fluff #nct!dad au #nct 127 scenario

[not-a-big-slay]

Us and the night sky

jesper fahey x gn!reader

summary: death did you apart...

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type: angst, fluff if you reaaally look for it

‎

warnings: death, blood, describing wounds

A/N: this is veeery short, but it almost made me cry. I LOVE jesper and im sorry that my first fic on him is his death 💀 but ill make amends. i recommend to listen to this song while reading, its really sad with that. anyway, ill post some other fics soon, so there a lot more to come :)

The pain rose as they put the remaining strenght to their legs. Their whole body shook, their hands covered in blood not only theirs. Panic for their friends battled panic for their life as they limbed up the hill. They were alone, the crows nowhere to find and only hope thought they were still alive. Screams of people in pain rang in their ear as the screams of the attackers pushed the Crow forward, tears in their eyes tricking their vision with the help from the dark night.

They couldn't stop. They knew the death was present, ready to take them, but they still didn't stop. Not until they found him. Their abdomen made them slow down as it cried red teardrops. The Dreg could swore the bullet is moving deeper. As if the hill curved under them, their legs gave up, making them fall on the knees, the force punching their stomach wound. They were surprised to see that many bruises on them once on the ground, not remembering any pain on the purple spots. They were also shocked when the black marks moved around and the ground danced. Their eyelids narrowed, offering a helping hand as they would take the pain away, if they just closed their eyes. Y/N wanted to allow them to do as they pleased, until they lifted their gaze up, seeing a body, motionless. They had to stare at it for long to see the leather coat.

‎

No.

‎

Eyes widened again as Y/N began to crawl to him, worrying they might be late. Their tears and blood created a path behind, as they saw Jesper closer. The moon sparked on his skin and stars shined on his revolvers, lying in his hands. Y/N couldn't hear their own sobs as they crawled closer to him and put a hand on his cheek, staining it with blood.

They immidiately noticed the wound below his shoulder. It matched their own. Y/N cried, feeling their heart breaking, chocking on the pieces. They were unable to utter a word, nor a sound, that being the reason why they were surprised when someone spoke close to them.

‎

"Can you move? I can't see the sky."

‎

A rough voice, sounding like it pained to speak a letter, said beneath them. Jesper was alive. And irritated. Y/N felt relieved, smile carved in their face as they lied next to him.

He's alive.

They were silent. The night sky watched over them, helping them accept the unavoidable faith they both knew was coming. Y/N could hear their breaths syncing, a beautiful harmony heard for the last time. Their wound pounded in pain, yet all they could feel was Jesper's hand tightening around theirs. They had so much more to tell him, so much more to laugh at, to cry at, but it's unimportant now. What's more important is them and the stars.

"They shine brighter than yesterday."

Jesper laughed. It was quiet and painful, but so beautiful anyway. "That is weird. We should ask Wylan on that.". Y/N agreed with that, fully knowing that won't happen. Wylan taught them some constalations and they tried to find some, even though their vision slowly gave up. They don't have much time.

"Do you wanna get some food after? I'm beginning to feel kinda hungry" Jesper requested, Y/N feeling his struggle to speak. "Yeah. Maybe we could try that new pub, Nina talked about." they suggested, earning a nod from their lover. "That sounds like a date." he chuckled flirtouriously. It helped pretending, but it didn't stop the bleeding.

‎

Y/N wanted to feel his lips again. They felt them for the first time a month ago, coincidentally under the moon as well. They were drunk, watching the ocean as it's waves crushed into the harbor. Some drops fell on them, making them all wet. They laughed so hard until he grabbed their cheek, kissing them without a word, pulling away after they were out of air. Y/N knew they wouldn't mind if he suffocated them this way. Death looked at her watch and Y/N could hear the ticking sound.

‎

Time's up.

‎

Tears made some of the stars blurry as they spoke: "I love you Jesper."

It was more and more hurtful to breath and they cried even more realizing it's almost over. They felt death's present, she watched them as they held each other, allowing them to make their last moments. A warm hand turned their head on the side, showing them Jesper's face. Y/N looked at every detail, wanting to memorize it to the afterlife. His thumb brushed their lips and he smiled. "I love you Y/N." It hurted to move, but their lips met at last. Y/N felt as the bullet stopped moving and the pain slowly left them. The stress and the dizziness dissapeared, only the taste of Jesper's lips remained.

‎

"I'll see you in the morning." he whispered. Y/N nodded, feeling tired. As the comfort of his warmth faded away, they closed their eyes.

‎

They hoped they'll see the others as well.

#jesper fahey #jesper fahey x y/n #jesper fahey x you #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey fluff #six of crows #soc duology #soc #soc fanfic #six of crows x you #six of crows x reader #six of crows jesper #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone tv show #shadow and bone show #shadow and bone series #s&b #s&b fandom #grishaverse x reader

[icarusthefoolish]

In Memory of Alexander aka Technoblade.

It doesn't feel like it but it's been an entire year without Techno, and to honour his legacy i thought I'd write a little something.

I first got into the Dream Smp a while after the first Major War the war for L'Manburgs freedom. One of my best friends who was staying with me showed me a Manhunt Video of Dream. I didn't even know who he was and i wasn't super interested in Minecraft at the time but i ended up watching the video anyway if only to make my friend happy. The next day when she left i found a short clip of Tubbo who changed his language to German and as a German person myself it made me laugh. That was the time i got into the fandom.

A few months later i came across Technoblade for the very first time, i was at the lowest point in my life at the time, I'd lost all will to live and i felt like a husk of my former self, but somehow Techno's Jokes and attitude made me smile even though i thought i couldn't anymore. The Potato War series was the video i came across and I watched the entire thing because he made me laugh. He made me feel alive again, he made me feel as though my anger and frustration and sadness was valid. I continued watching his videos while keeping up with the Dream SMP when i figured out he joined i basically only watched his POV, I'd be there for every single stream no matter how late it was or how mundane the things he did were. I was a lurker just enjoying hearing his voice in the background while doing something.

And over time i started to get invested in the Lore of his Character, what he stood for and i became invested in the friends he had on the Server. I kept up to date on everything Technoblade, i regularly checked his twitter and watched and re-watched his Videos. I remember when everything went quiet on his end, i was worried, i knew i shouldn't be because he was just a streamer who I'd become attached to but i couldn't help myself. When he posted the video where he explained why he was gone I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was so happy to see that he was ok, that relief only lasted until he broke the news of getting cancer. At that time my personal life was getting busier as well i didn't have as much time anymore but i tried to keep up-to-date on what was going on. When there was more silence i found myself worried again, but I didn't have the time to worry about what was going on but the thoughts were in the back of my mind basically 24/7 by that time.

I remember the day when i found out about Techno's death like it was yesterday, i was at my schooling, I'd just arrived a few minutes prior and since we still had some time to kill i decided to open Tumblr, the first thing i saw was a picture one of my mutuals posted, I don't remember the exact text but it said something along the Lines of Fly High king. It had Technos crown and sword. I didn't even read the tags under the picture, my heart felt like it had just dropped down to my stomach, i immediately went to his twitter to check for anything, i found nothing, then i went to Google and that was when it got real. I was shown an article about his death and the Video his father posted. I immediately jumped to his Chanel and watched it.

The moment i saw the black Thumbnail and the Title "So Long Nerds" i was in tears, i watched the video but couldn't even make it half way through without sobbing. At some point one of my teachers noticed i was crying and offered me to go take a breather Which i did. I don't think it exactly settled what that Video meant at that time, and the rest of the day was a blur at best. I couldn't watch the entirety of the Video for another 3 months no matter how hard i tried at some point i broke down crying.

I felt like i didn't deserve to mourn Technoblade, I'd never known him personally, I'd only ever known him as Technoblade the Minecraft Anarchist it felt wrong to mourn him so i kept quiet about it. A little while after my 19th birthday i got a tattoo to remember him by, because he'd played a huge part in helping me recover even if he didn't know it. And ever since then every time i got sad about Techno i look at my Tattoo and think "he'd probably laugh about me being sad" and that makes me smile.

I'm thankful that i got to be apart of the community, I'm thankful that i got to experience technoblade. I'm thankful for every single moment i watched his Videos, I'm thankful for the fact that he was what helped me out of my darkest times and while i never got to know him beyond the YouTuber he was I'm still thankful that i got to have the chance to know him as that. I don't know where i would be now if i hadn't discovered Technoblade when i did I wouldn't have made half of the friends i have now.

So thank you Techno, thank you for being there for me even without knowing, thank you for your wonderful videos that always seemed to brighten my days.

Technoblade Never Dies!

I started this a few days before the 30th but i couldn't finish it in time so this is a little late.

#aiko talks #aikos shit posts #Technoblade never dies #rip technoblade

[votestaynight2]

13th Day - LAST TALK (Scene 2) / 14th Day - servant eater (Scene 1)

"――――――――" My heart hurts. Blood drips down my fingers where they grasp the knife.

"――――――――!" I grit my teeth. I frantically swallow against the sob rising in my throat.

"―――――, ―――!" My eyes are hot. I can't manage it looking down, so I tilt my face up and restrain my anger.

…Pushing the knife down. I can't do something so simple. I'm pissed. There's something really wrong with me. I had to come this far before I realized my own feelings.

"――――Am I stupid?" …Right. I had the answer already. My path was set the moment I embraced Sakura under the rain.

'Are you going to betray?'

Someone tells me to remember. Wasn't I going to become a superhero? My body is wracked by contradictory thoughts.

―――A superhero that will let many people die tonight for Sakura's sake. A selfish superhero.

―――Kiritsugu threw away his own wishes to pursue what he believed in. A powerless human that helps others just because of self-interest.

The fire ten years ago. Because I was the only one who survived, I lived on, swearing never to let such a disaster occur again.

All the time until now. The idea I believed in for ten years is piercing my heart. Asking if I am betraying it. Will I betray myself, who cried and tried to live on, ignoring the voices of the people who died helplessly?

―――The atonement. Am I going to betray my previous self, who had to cling to that atonement to continue living?

"Yes――――――"

No apologies will ever bring me forgiveness. I can't make amends for this crime. I'm throwing myself away. Even if my life turns out to be a fake after losing what I've believed in until now…

"――――――I will betray them."

I'll choose what I want to protect. In the future. If Sakura's smile is there, I won't even care if I have to live by deceiving myself.

…There's nothing wrong with it. I need Sakura. Sakura needs me. ――――For the first time… I wish to protect one life instead of many.

"…………" I take a deep breath and loosen my fingers on the knife. I won't lose my way anymore. I'll pull the knife back and leave before Sakura wakes up.

―――And right when I'm about to… "Senpai. Why won't you kill me?" Sakura talks in the dark.

"――――Sakura." She's awake. Sakura is lying there trembling, watching the upraised knife.

…Her eyes are clouded painfully. It's not sadness about having me kill her. She's apologizing for making me resort to this.

"It's fine, please do as you wish. I'm too scared to do it myself, but I don't mind if you do it."

Is she serious? I hear fear in Sakura's voice. Her body is trembling, her eyes fixed on the knife above her as if watching inevitable death. …It's… …It's a determination that's doing all it can to keep her from running away.

"――――――――Sakura."

…How can it be? I was so preoccupied that I didn't even notice it? Sakura's trembling. Why didn't I realize Sakura's determination――――!?

"Sakura, I…" "I know. What you decided is probably right. Because I'm at fault here. …I'll say it now, since this is the end. I don't know how long I can remain myself. I don't know how long the day is, what I talked to you about at noon, when that noon was, what happened yesterday, and what tomorrow is."

"That's not all. I see strange dreams. It's a scary dream. I'm always covered in blood, but a part of me finds it pleasant, and everything about it is scary."

"I'm the bad guy in that dream. I'm laughing as I'm stealing a lot of things from everybody. …I was scared, asked for help, but nobody helped me."

"So I told myself it can't be helped that everyone's getting killed. They won't help others, so it's natural that others won't help them, and I ignored everything, thinking it's just a dream."

"…But I was wrong. I wanted that dream. I'm actually cowardly, filthy, cunning… I hated everyone, and all I could do was curse them. It's my fault for thinking that dream was pleasant, even for a second. It's not the dream that's bad. It's me, the one who watches it, that should never have existed."

"Senpai. I'm slowly breaking down. At this rate, I'll see nothing but those dreams and forget about you. I'll be a villain for real, going around and killing people."

"So―――please. …If you can finish it here before I become the bad guy, then――――" Sakura tries to say she'll be saved.

But. "Oh――――" I silence her with an embrace.

"――――――――" I hold her to me tightly. …The embrace I could not accomplish before. I pull her to me with the arms that only touched her back then. I hold Sakura's body with all my strength.

"……Senpai." …Sakura doesn't resist. She's scared of dying, yet she asked to be killed. But, at last, she relaxes and… "……No, you'll regret it…" She says the same exact words as that night, as if thanking me.

"…It's too late. It's not about the future. I regret not being able to protect you all this time." …A quiet sobbing. Sakura puts her arm on my shoulder. Her cold fingers run across my cheek.

"――――I'll protect you. I'll protect you, Sakura." I promise Sakura as she cries. …That's all I can do. That's the only thing I can repeat to forgive each other.

I swore to be Sakura's superhero on that night. I have no regrets. I won't complain about this choice. If anyone deserves an apology, it's only one person.

――――Will you forgive me, Sakura? I don't say it out loud. ――――For betraying myself? And I confess my crime.

Interlude 13-2

――――The door closes. The boy, who said he'd protect the girl as if trying to convince himself, left after making sure she fell asleep.

"…………Haa." The girl, Matou Sakura, painfully moans in the darkness. She is not asleep. She only pretended to be asleep so that the boy, who was more tired than her, can rest.

And―――she cannot afford to sleep anymore. She'll see that dream if she sleeps. She'll see something similar to her kill people. It's frightening. She doesn't remember what kind of dream she had last night. She doesn't remember why she was unconscious outside.

So―――it feels like she will never wake up again if she falls asleep tonight. She will end up betraying the boy who held her close. The boy threw away his self and believed in the weak and sly Matou Sakura. His decision is still hurting her heart, so she will not be able to see him again if she turns out to be like the dream.

―――Yes. She has destroyed his mind to the point that it cannot be fixed. So she has to bear it. She has to stay conscious, not sleep, and never see that dream again. A person exists that will protect her. Even if she may be dirty and cowardly, she has to maintain control with all her might while she still remains.

"――――I'm fine with that. But…" …There's something that cannot be returned. She has committed a crime that she cannot atone for with the life that remains to her.

'――――I'll protect you.'

He repeated it, knowing there's no hope or future. Recalling it makes her cry. …Half an hour ago. She was determined when he came to her room. She knows that he came to kill her. She's sensitive to the hostility of others. Even if someone comes to kill her in her sleep, she will notice.

…But the hostility was empty. It's not that he's not feeling anything. It was a painful emptiness, as if there was a big hole in his chest with cold wind blazing through it. That made her accept death. She thought the best possible outcome would be if the boy were the one to stop her.

"―――――――y." But she was a coward, as she had known. She was ready for death, but she could not stop trembling. ――――And… She cornered him by saying something selfishly convenient.

"―――――――rry." He embraced her. The boy still embraced her. They both knew there was no future. But he still put his arms around her, knowing fully well what awaited them in the end.

The boy still had determination. His embracing arms told her that he will accept the crime she committed and will commit.

"…――――――rry, Senpai――――" That's why it's sad. He can do it. She knew that from the start. …The school in the sunset. The person that kept on running. The boy that changed her voice from "give up" to "keep going".

She has wished from that time. ―――To be with him. ―――To be protected by him. Admiring him for no reason, she went to his house like her grandfather told her and made her wish come true.

'―――I'll protect you. I swore to be your superhero.'

"―――……!" This is the result. As his life goes on, he will only continue to break down.

"Sorry… I'm sorry, Senpai――――" What she admired… She finally understands why. The boy was beautiful in her eyes. He's different from her, who is a coward. She wished for him to keep his upstanding character.

"But I――――" …Yes, she remembers. She wanted to protect him. She wanted to protect the boy. She wanted to protect the clumsy, but upright boy that she found in the setting sun. "――――I broke it."

That's all she wished for. So why… Why did it turn out like this――――?

…And then. The girl makes her final resolution.

"You're there, right, Rider?" She calls out into the darkness. "―――――――" The girl should be the only one here, but a woman appears like a ghost. It is Matou Sakura's Servant, Rider.

"…I thought so. Were you guarding me?" "Yes. Had he tried to take your life, I would have killed him." "――――" …She sighs, thinking it was close. Rider puts priority on her master. Her decision is based solely on whether that person will kill her Master, Matou Sakura. In that regard, Emiya Shirou was Rider's enemy back then.

"…Don't do anything to him, Rider. I won't forgive you if you hurt him." "My role is to protect you. If he is to be your enemy, I must fulfill my mission. I will protect you, no matter what you may become." "…Do you mean that, even if I turn into something other than myself?"

There's no reply. It's something she shouldn't say, the worst possible scenario. …Yes. Even if Emiya Shirou sides with Matou Sakura. If Matou Sakura recognizes Emiya Shirou as her enemy, he will become a foreign foe that must be defeated.

"…………" The girl raises her body and clenches her fists. …Rider's statement hasn't angered her. She's just scared that the assumption might become a reality.

"…Sakura? What are you doing? You cannot use magic with that body of yours――――!" Ignoring Rider, the girl raises her hand in the darkness.

The magical energy runs through it for only an instant. When the light fades, the only thing different is her left hand. "Sakura." "…This is my last Command Spell. Please, Rider. Please protect Senpai until the end, no matter what happens in the future." The girl gives her final order. The Command Spell is gone from Matou Sakura's hand.

"…I'll stop Grandfather. This is a problem between me and the Matou family. …I know it's too late, but I can't cause any more trouble." The girl holds her chest as she coughs. …Her eyes light up in the darkness. They are weak, but they are eyes of determination that belong to a magus.

End of Interlude

14th Day - servant eater

I wake up up at the same time as usual. It's before six o'clock. The day is dawning, and the sky is filled with gray clouds again.

I don't feel any pain from my left arm.

There's no one in the living room. I should make breakfast before Tohsaka wakes up.

The news is on. It's becoming my daily routine to check the news in the morning.

"There aren't any big stories. I guess it didn't appear last night." She must mean the black shadow. "―――Yeah. I guess it doesn't come out every day." I answer, careful not to let my relief show.

"Yeah. I wouldn't be able to bear hundreds of people getting hurt two days in a row."

It's past seven. Tohsaka and I are the only ones in the living room. Sakura and Ilya are both sleeping. I wanted Ilya to wake up and come, but Tohsaka told me that she's tired and I should let her rest.

"――――So you should rest too, in preparation for tonight." Tohsaka says this out of the blue. "…Why?"

"It's the creation of our secret weapon. We'll complete the framework today, so we'll do the projection tonight. We'll go settle our match with Zouken as soon as we succeed. We can't allow any more victims. No matter what that shadow may be, the Holy Grail War will end once we defeat Zouken. The mysterious shadow should disappear then."

"――――Tohsaka. You really think the shadow will disappear once the war is over?"

"It will. Whatever it is, I'm sure it appeared because of the Holy Grail. I don't know if it wants the Holy Grail, or if the Holy Grail summoned it. But either way, it's here because of the Holy Grail, so it'll disappear once the Holy Grail is gone. In short, the shadow will disappear once the war ends. That will happen when the time limit expires, when only one Master remains, or―――when the Holy Grail's vessel dies."

"Tohsaka, you―――――" …Already… Knew what that shadow is?

"I'm just guessing. It might not disappear even if we defeat Zouken. It might not disappear even when the war ends. So I'm going to take the surest method. We can't rely on uncertainties like obtaining the Holy Grail ourselves. We have to take down both Zouken and the shadow with our own powers."

Tohsaka gets up. I don't know why, but she takes the water jug and pajamas I prepared for Sakura.

"Hey, what are you doing?" "I'll go see how Sakura's doing. Her room is next to mine, so I'm in a better position to look after her." "Hey――――no, I'll take care of Sakura."

"Don't be stupid. You didn't get any sleep last night, did you? Can't you tell that you'll be a liability in your condition?" …? I didn't get any sleep?

"Don't be stupid. I slept last night." "I don't believe this. You're so tired that you don't even notice it? …Geez, go look at the mirror if you think I'm lying. If you went to nurse Sakura with dark circles around your eyes and looking pale, it'd just make her worried." "What――――are you serious?"

"Why would I lie? Geez, just go to your room and rest. I'll go get you in the afternoon. Oh, and if you can't go to sleep, I can help you. If you don't mind me copying Rider, I can put you under for about a day."

Copying Rider means copying her mystic eyes. But as far as I know, Tohsaka doesn't have mystic eyes. In short, she's…

"Are you telling me to be your guinea pig?" "Exactly. I wasn't interested before, but mystic eyes might not be that bad. I can't do anything on that scale, but I might be able to do something like sleep suggestion."

"――――Don't lie. What was that about them not being bad? You just don't want to stay defeated, so you want to learn it too, right?"

"J-Just be quiet! So, what about it? Do you want to try it or not?" "No, you idiot! I'm having nothing to do with such a dangerous experiment. First of all, if I sleep for a day, I can't wake up until tomorrow morning."

"Oh, right. It'll be paralysis instead of sleep if it works too well. I think it'll work well on you since you're simple-minded." Tohsaka seems to be convinced. I want to object, but I stay quiet since she might test it on me if I do object.

"Well, I'm not that sensitive, so I can sleep if I want. You don't have to worry about me." "Really? Then can you rest in your room and let me handle Sakura's care?" …Then. Tohsaka drops her joking manner and asks me with serious eyes.

"――――――――" I can't answer right away. …I want to be with Sakura. But I have other things to do, and I can't let Sakura see me if I look as terrible as Tohsaka says. I can trust Tohsaka with Sakura's care, so I'll take her offer.

"…You're right. Then I'll be in my room. I'll bring her lunch and dinner, so can you take care of her the rest of the time?" "Yeah, you can leave her to me. I'll scold her and put her back in bed if she tries to get up. So, can you really sleep by yourself? Don't you want to try it out once?"

"You're persistent. I don't want anything dangerous. But thanks, Tohsaka. I'm sorry for making you look out for me." "I-I'm not looking out for you. I-I'm going, so you go sleep, okay!?"

Tohsaka leaves in a hurry. …Man. I don't know if she's perceptive or not, nor if she's a good person or a cold person. I hear geniuses tend to leave everyone else behind them, and I'm guessing that's Tohsaka's type. Sakura has it tough. I'd never have peace of mind if Tohsaka were my older sister.

"―――Well, I bet every day would be fun, though." …Right. That's why I want them back to being sisters as quickly as possible.

Sakura and Tohsaka can be together again once the war ends, and the promise between their families goes away. The eleven-year gap won't be bridged that easily, but I want them to get close enough to laugh together over trivial matters.

I'll do anything to help. I think this is the most I can do for Sakura.

"Oh, and for Tohsaka too. Sakura is like the only one who can make her look troubled." Oh, crap. I just imagined Tohsaka smiling happily. I'm sorry, Sakura. Wait, does this count as being unfaithful?

"――――No, more importantly…" I can't take it easy forever. Tohsaka said she'll challenge Zouken tonight. …That's bad. The war will end if we defeat Zouken. The Holy Grail will appear once the war ends. No, rather, the Holy Grail will be opened.

Zouken said the Holy Grail is a gate. What grants the wishes is not the Holy Grail, but what's inside of it. …If that's true, what will happen to Sakura, who is the Holy Grail? Ilya said that… Sakura loses her human functions as she nears completion as a Holy Grail.

"―――――――――!" …So there's only one way to save Sakura. Protect her until the Holy Grail War ends. I don't know how the Holy Grail will appear. I don't know if it appears when there's only one Master left, or if the last Master summons it.

…There's no problem if it's the latter. I just have to defeat Zouken, eliminate what's threatening Sakura, and wait for the duration of the war.

Tohsaka said we'll challenge Zouken tonight. Then we can beat Zouken. If she says we're fighting, that means we have a high chance of winning.

"…Then there's only one problem." …The black shadow. Beating Zouken won't make it disappear. It will continue to surface as long as the Holy Grail, Sakura, exists. And it will take many lives every time. Waiting for the deadline means doing nothing about that shadow.

"…I have to defeat it. I have to defeat the shadow myself." …That's the only possible choice. But can I beat it? If that thing came from the Holy Grail, the shadow should not have a concept of death. If I'm to eliminate it, I have to eliminate the projector, Sakura herself, or destroy the main body that's sending magical energy to the projector.

"…Main body, huh…?" …I don't think such a thing exists. But I can't come up with any effective plans unless I assume so.

"――――The content of the Holy Grail. Zouken implanted within Sakura a piece of the Holy Grail that was shattered in the previous war. Did it contain anything back then?" ――――Oh. Wait a minute. Zouken said he made the crest worm from a piece of the Holy Grail――――

"――――Kotomine. He didn't notice that…!?" No way…! He extracted some crest worm from Sakura. He removed just a small quantity, but he treated Sakura's body.

There's no way he wouldn't notice. He's the supervisor of the Holy Grail War, and he was one of the last surviving Masters in the previous war. Then he should know what's wrong with her body…!

"Haa――――!" I run out the door. Compelled by the sudden insight, I can only think about the priest.

"Damn, why didn't I realize earlier…!?" If I'd just thought about it, I would've seen it right away. The shadow that appears as Sakura's subconscious form. That man should know what's inside the Holy Grail――――!

Interlude 14-2

"…Huh? Is that Shirou that just went outside…?" Tohsaka Rin wonders about the sound from the front door. She looks out the window and, sure enough, sees him running down the hill.

"That idiot…! I told him to rest, but he never listens to people…!" She stops filling prescriptions and gets up. Sakura's medicine is important, but stopping Shirou comes first.

"Man, warnings go in one ear and out the other for him…! He doesn't even realize how exhausted he is…!" She dashes down the stairs. She hurries to the entrance to quickly follow after Shirou.

"――――Oh, before that." She has to check on Sakura, just in case. She hasn't given her the water jug or the pajamas, since she was planning to bring them with the medicine. She hasn't taken her temperature either. Shirou's recklessness angers her, but she can't scold Shirou if she ignores Sakura.

"――――Well, it seems like she's sleeping." It's only been a minute. Shirou should quickly lose his breath, stop, and rest at the bottom of the hill. He shouldn't even be able to run a kilometer in his condition.

"…The worst part is that he doesn't realize it." If she runs, she can catch up with him in no time. Of the people in the house right now, she has the most energy. It's natural that the strongest one looks after the weaker members.

"I'm coming in, Sakura." She goes in without waiting for a reply. "I'm going outside. It won't be long, so keep resting. I'll leave your change of clothes here, so―――― She stops her sentence. And…. "――――Crap. You did it, Sakura." Rin punches the wall hard enough to break it.

―――Matou Sakura isn't in the room. The one in bed is not her.

"…You've fallen far, Rider. I never thought I'd see a Servant sleep in a bed, pretending to be her Master." "I was unwilling, but this is an order. But this is your carelessness. Please do not push your responsibility onto me." "…Well said. She's the one causing us the trouble." She grits her teeth. Rin glares at Rider with hostility, and Rider ignores it coolly.

"Tohsaka Rin. If there is a next time, set a better observer. You cannot deceive Sakura with a mere jade bird familiar. She does not match you in ability, but her instincts are as good as yours." "I see, thanks for the advice. …But I guess that's not all, huh?"

"Of course not. Sakura instructed me not to let you out of the house until she returns." "――――" Rin clucks her tongue. She can't do anything now. By herself, she cannot defeat or escape from Rider. She can only stay here, just as Sakura planned.

"――――I'm really pissed. He tried to help her since she can't handle it by herself, but now she's gone alone to settle things?" "Are you not going to resist? It is good to be graceful, but this is unexpected." "I just don't have to go outside, right? I can't match you, so I'll stay quiet until she comes home." She sighs and leans against the wall.

There's no will to fight. Rin relaxes, looks down, and… "But Rider. She won't come back. …No. Even if she does come back, she won't be the Matou Sakura we know." …Mentions the worst-possible future with the cold voice of a magus.

End of Interlude

Interlude 14-2

Ah――――haa, haa ha――――

My chest hurts. My heart has been sending me a danger signal for a while now. Thump, thump, splat, thump. The heart spits out blood to the rest of the body, raging around as though saying it'll ▊▊▊ if it moves anymore.

Ah――――haa, haa, ha――――

My throat hurts. It feels like I'm swallowing needles every time I take a breath. So it's too scary to breathe. I'm already oxygen-deprived, so intentionally limiting my breathing is like suicide.

Ah――――haa, haa ha――――

My limbs don't move well because they lack oxygen. I made it this far with unsteady steps, but I might fall unconscious at any time.

――――Fuh, kuh…!

That thought brings back my strength. I can't fall here. Sneaking out would become meaningless. I need to settle my match. I have to stop the old man that made me a Master, even if it costs me my life.

――――Haa――――Haa, ha――――

…I steady my breathing. It's fine, it's not hard. It might be hard for others, but it's no problem for me. I just have to look at him, like I do every night at dinner, and shake my head. And―――that old man's scheme will end.

…I don't think about what'll happen to me after I disobey the monster. If I do, I won't be able to go through with it. So I stop thinking too much. Fortunately, the memory in my head is vague. I won't remember what I'm doing now in the next instant, so the fear is relatively small.

I walk through my house, which I haven't been in for a few days. A dark house. I look through my scattering memory, but can't remember the house ever being bright. It's just like always. It's damp, degenerate, and viscous like always.

But――――

"No way――――why?"

But it's not as expected. Grandfather's presence is not in the house. The worms' presence cannot be felt anywhere.

"…Haa――――ah, ahh…" I hold myself upright and look around the empty living room. Something's wrong. Something's wrong. Something's wrong. That old man is not in the house. His laughing voice is not in the basement.

"…No way… Why?" It doesn't make sense. Grandfather―――Matou Zouken wants me back. But he couldn't do anything until now because I was at the Emiya household. So now should be his best chance. He will definitely come and try to turn me into a Holy Grail if I'm alone. So why isn't he coming out?

"Ah… haa… haa… ah――――" …My consciousness is fading away. …That's bad. I have to see Matou Zouken before I fall asleep, before Senpai goes into action. I have to see him and end it right now. It'll all be over once I see him, so why isn't he appearing today of all days―――!?

"…He should know…!" Right, there's no way he doesn't know. He's always watching me. He can find me, no matter where I hide or how far I run. He knows he can easily catch and control me. …He never considers the possibility that I might resist. He only treats me as a tool.

"……So… why?" There's no way he doesn't know. It shouldn't even matter that the priest removed some of my crest worm. …Because that's just insurance. He's watching my actions using a more reliable method. He knows my current condition. He's even listening to my heartbeat. He knows I'm alone here and that I left Rider behind. Because he's――――

"――――Sakura." A voice comes from right behind me. And… "…Nii-san?" Right when I realize it's Nii-san and turn around…

End of Interlude

I don't stop until I reach the church. I was breathing hard when I was running down the hill, but my fatigue went away by the time I got to the intersection.

"Haa―――――Haa, haa." Even I'm surprised by how well I'm doing. Even though I took the shortest route, I ran full speed for five kilometers from my house to the church.

"――――Wait, this is no time to be amazed at myself." I head to the entrance. I pull myself together, readying myself to have Kotomine talk if he knows everything.

"――――――――!" The priest is in the chapel.

It seems like he's been waiting for me… "Oh, what's wrong, Emiya Shirou? I did not think you were admirable enough to come pray to the God when you are at a loss. Did you change your religious beliefs?" …And he offers an absurd welcome.

"―――Shut up. I don't have time for your sarcasm. If you want to make small talk, do it alone." "Oh. …I see, you seem disturbed. I'm surprised you made it here in your condition. Why don't we go to the back if it's going to be a long conversation? It must be hard for you to stay on your feet."

"I'm fine. Just answer me, Kotomine. You knew that Sakura is a Holy Grail, right?"

"Of course. I opened her body, after all. I knew that she is a black Holy Grail that Matou Zouken coordinated." The priest plainly answers, as if it's not a big deal.

"Do you know what that means…!?" My head boils up in an instant. I tried to be calm, but Kotomine's reply shatters my composure.

"Yes. I knew better than you what that meant. If we let Matou Sakura live, she would end up killing many people. That is why I warned you. I asked you if she was worth keeping alive."

"――――――――" I stop. …He's right. Kotomine did warn me back then. He saved her, but he kept repeating that keeping her alive was a mistake.

"―――Then… then why did you save Sakura? I only wanted to protect her. But you don't have a reason to."

"I do have a reason. Like you, I did not want to let Matou Sakura die. I could not leave the new life within her to die. Humans die. Sakura's death would be only natural. Were she the only one to die, I would never have gone to such lengths."

"If Sakura were the only one to die?" In short… He's saying he saved Sakura to save that black shadow…!?

"That is exactly right, Emiya Shirou. It is the law of nature for people to die from wounds. But you cannot kill what has not yet come into existence. You protected Matou Sakura to save her. I saved Matou Sakura to protect the darkness that she conceived. That is my motive. We had different goals, but we both needed the girl to live. Are you dissatisfied with the result?"

"――――――――" I'm not dissatisfied. No matter what his intentions were, I had no choice but to ask for his help back then. And―――he sacrificed his entire Magic Crest to save Sakura. I should at least thank him for the result.

"…You're right. I'm not interested in what your motives are. But let me ask you. If you're saying that, you must know what that thing is."

"You must mean the shadow threatening the town. …Well, I have an idea, but what about you? What do you think it is?" "…Zouken said it's the contents of the Holy Grail. He said that what's inside the Holy Grail is coming out through Sakura."

"―――You asked him yourself, eh? …I see, that is certainly something he might think of. So, do you believe everything he said? Do you believe the shadow is the contents of the Holy Grail appearing through Matou Sakura, and that it will continue to kill people as long as she is alive?"

"I won't trust Zouken. …But his explanation matches the facts. I have to admit that Sakura and that shadow are related."

"Yes. Zouken's explanation contains no lie, but he is not telling the whole truth either. The power in the Holy Grail is colorless. It is colorless, so it will never attack people on its own. Power without direction only disperses."

"Oh." …What he's saying makes sense. First of all, why is something that's leaked out of the gate indiscriminately attacking people?

"What's going on? Why is it attacking people?" "I do not even need to mention why. There exists 'something that kills people' inside the Holy Grail. That is the only possible explanation." "Wha――――――" Something that kills people? That thing is inside the Holy Grail and ruining Sakura?

"――――――――" …My vision wavers. This is too ridiculous to be true… "――――――――" But didn't I…

…Look up at such a thing ten years ago?

"――――! That makes even less sense…! If the Holy Grail's power is colorless, something that has a purpose like killing people shouldn't exist in it!"

"Correct. It is something that should not exist. It is a contradiction that should never have been created. ―――But it is definitely there, within the Holy Grail. Ten years ago. I already told you how Kiritsugu and I fought for the Holy Grail. Its contents were already tainted at that time. The power that should have been colorless was instead a swirl that interpreted everything as slaughter."

"But it is a big enough swirl of magical energy to grant wishes. That function has not been lost. The only problem is that its idea of 'happiness' is to use the evil to expose the good. That is why it brought on that tragic fire ten years ago. I still found the Holy Grail worthy, but Kiritsugu destroyed it, unable to accept its evil."

"I need not remind you of the result. My Servant was showered with its tainted contents, and the mud that leaked from the Holy Grail burned the town and caused many deaths. You should remember the scene."

…Yeah, I did see it. I saw the cause of it…!

"―――Then that black hole is…" "Yes, it is a gate called the Holy Grail. How ironic. The cup that receives the purest souls. That pure object was completely tainted when a small amount of poison was mixed into it. It is colorless, after all. No matter how deep and magnificent the Holy Grail may have been, it was powerless against a colored foreign substance."

"Foreign substance…? That's what caused the content of the Holy Grail to change colors…?"

"Most likely. The Einzberns summoned something they should not have on the third ritual. As a result, an impurity was introduced into the Holy Grail War, the ritual they had prepared. Sixty years passed between the third and fourth wars, yet the impurity that had waited so long for its birth still could not emerge into the outside world."

"The fourth Holy Grail was too narrow. The war reached its deadline with Archer and Saber still remaining, and the Holy Grail was not complete. The gate did open, but Kiritsugu instantly destroyed it."

"Impurity―――then that guy's the main body of the black shadow…?" "'That guy' is hardly the proper term. Even if the contents of the Holy Grail are tainted, it is still only a swirl of raw power. What's inside is magical energy with a direction. It is a cursed swirl that is specialized and directed at killing people. It is a pure evil that is the embodiment of human evil."

"That is the phenomenon inside the Holy Grail―――the main body of the shadow roaming the town at night. Well, it is still only an expected baby that cannot even produce the shadow without Matou Sakura."

"Expected baby…? Don't be ridiculous! Are you saying Sakura has to give birth to something mysterious like that…!?" "No. It will appear from her body if she is a legitimately made Holy Grail. But she is special. That thing is trying to consume her and become the gate itself."

"Its birth. It is trying to come into this world by transferring its power to her. It is power without a body. It has no need for a human form. It can exist in this world if someone inherits its power."

"The content of the Holy Grail is not leaking out. It is an evil that is trying to bring itself into the world by permeating Matou Sakura. Therefore―――the black shadow is not the contents of the Holy Grail. It is already Matou Sakura herself. It is permeating into the master, and once the power is completely succeeded, she will turn into the shadow."

"――――――――" …Hold on. …Hold on a minute, Kotomine. Even if you say that, I can't think straight.

"It was an incomplete Holy Grail from the start. …No, she had already made the contract when the tainted Holy Grail from the last war was used. It would not have ended this way if the Einzbern's Holy Grail were used. It would have been filled with curses, but they would not be compatible."

"――――――――" Shut up. First of all, your talks are too long. You should keep things simple. Like how that shadow isn't Sakura's subconscious. That's what Zouken said, but the shadow is attacking people because that's its nature. Sakura… It's not something she wished for.

"The curse swirling within the Holy Grail. The curse would not have been able to take form unless the Holy Grail was compatible with it. Instead, it connected with something that could give it shape. It would not have taken a definite form if it were a normal Holy Grail, such as Einzbern's gold or a bronze using a body of a magus. It is a curse that has mass, after all. In some cases, it might turn into an expanding lump of flesh."

"――――――――" I said I don't care about things that don't concern us. Get to the point. Let me know the conclusion. I thought I could save Sakura if I defeated the shadow. I thought I could save her if I could defeat it before Sakura completely turned into the Holy Grail. But――――if that shadow is Sakura herself…

"The curse obtained a host named Matou Sakura. She is a human who was raised to be a Magic Circuit, embedded with 'the sense of touch' that leaked out during the previous war. The more she opens the gate as the Holy Grail, the more she will combine with what is inside. But do not worry. So long as she retains her sanity, the shadow will remain a shadow. No matter how much the curse may contaminate her, she still has command. As long as she tries to close the gate as a Holy Grail, the content will stay in her and not be able to escape outside."

"It is the same as the relationship between a Servant and his Master. The Servant, the curse, cannot use its power unless its Master, Matou Sakura, allows it. One cannot overturn this relationship, no matter how strong one may be. Matou Sakura's sanity obstructs the curse's desire to kill people."

"Matou Sakura can accept the curse as a part of her, or her sanity can cave in to the magical energy of the curse. The darkness in her will be given birth the instant either occurs. She is the shadow already. Even if the war were over, you could never return her to her original form."

"――――――――" That means… When I defeat that black shadow and see its corpse… Sakura's body will come out from beneath its darkness――――

"Haa―――― , ah." I thought my heart stopped. I clutch my chest and force myself to breathe.

"――――Then letting Sakura live means…" "Letting that black shadow emerge. Her mind will eventually die, and hell will take form. Well, I did not think her body could endure it, but you have done well, Emiya Shirou. She is still functioning as the Holy Grail, thanks to you." "――――!"

"Do you want to turn Sakura into a monster…!?"

"Of course. No matter what it may be, we cannot stop it as long as it has the will to be born. And do not misunderstand, Emiya Shirou. You call it a monster when it has not even come into this world?"

"Of course…! That shadow is a devil. It's a devil that's killing people without limit…!" "You are rushing to conclusions. Good and evil are what we decide on after it occurs. Nobody can deny what has yet to exist. Or what? Are you saying the son of a criminal will definitely be a criminal? So we should kill him before he is born?"

"Wha――――" How ridiculous. That thing is a killer by its very nature. And in reality, it is killing people――――!

"That is your mistake. That shadow has only been created from the host, Matou Sakura. What is about to be born from the Holy Grail is something different. That shadow is merely using Matou Sakura to suck lives needed for its birth. It is the same as a baby that wants to live. You cannot judge it to be good or evil, as it is doing so unconsciously."

"Don't be stupid! People are dying!" "True. It shall receive punishment for its crime. But that is after it is born. Nobody can deny its existence right now. You cannot reject that which has not yet been born and cannot be punished."

"Look. A clear evil does not exist in this world. But―――if there is an evil in this world… Would it not be the act of denying what is about to be born?"

"――――――――" I swallow my words. It's not that I agree with Kotomine that Sakura should become the contents of the Holy Grail. But condemning him won't change anything, let alone save Sakura.

"―――Kotomine. Is your intention to have Sakura turn into the Holy Grail?" I ask with hostility. It's a question to clarify our positions, a statement made too late to be a declaration of hostility.

"I said that is why I saved her. I will bless whatever is born. Just as you protect Matou Sakura, I will protect the embryo." "―――I see. Does that mean you're our enemy?"

"Of course. But it's not that I want Matou Sakura's life, or that I want the Holy Grail's power like Matou Zouken. I will only protect what lies within the Holy Grail after it has been born. If the mother, Matou Sakura, should reject the child before it is born, I will respect her decision."

…There's no lie in his words. This priest does not care who wins the Holy Grail War.

All he wants is the result. He just wants to see what appears after Zouken or I remain. He has no intention of forcing Sakura and altering her. He is saying he will save Sakura only when we're unable to save her and when she turns into something else.

"…All right. I won't do anything to you as long as you're just watching. No matter your intentions, you saved Sakura's life. …That's all I care about right now."

"I see. All I did was save the body of the mother, but I will not say anything if that is what you think. Well, is that all? Then go back to Matou Sakura. This is no time for her to be left alone."

"………" The priest is worrying about Sakura's health―――no, her mind. We're clearly enemies, yet I still can't tell for certain.

"――――No. I want to ask one more thing. …This will probably be my last question." "Oh. If that is the case, I cannot refuse. All right, I shall listen." "――――Kotomine. Can Sakura be saved?"

…The atmosphere changes. The pressure from the priest increases as he gives me advice.

"There is a way. But the success rate is about fifty-fifty. The person called Matou Sakura will disappear once she is complete as a Holy Grail. But if her mind can endure the power from the Holy Grail for a bit, that small amount of time will be your hope."

"A few seconds at most. You will need to control the Holy Grail and use its power to eliminate what is within her. In short, you're using brute force. You just need to use the Holy Grail to kill the baby within her and the crest worm that is transforming her. The Holy Grail is tainted, but it still has the power to grant wishes. If it is used to kill, it can kill any form of life."

"――――So it all comes down to the Holy Grail, huh? From the start, this war is…" "Yes, it all comes down to obtaining the Holy Grail. But watch out. You are directing the power of the Holy Grail at itself. A normal magus would not be able to control the magical energy, and it could end up repeating the disaster that occurred ten years ago. Not only that. It is madness to try to take control of the Holy Grail in only a few seconds. It's a miracle you will never achieve by yourself."

"Heh, but that's the only way, right? Then I'll do it. And if that's the case, I do have one hope."

"I see, you have Rin. Rin is Matou Sakura's older sister. It should be possible to tune with her sister's mind and moderate the reaction from the Holy Grail. But I do not think Rin would go with such a ridiculous gamble."

"――――――――" …That's true. I'll have to convince her to change our course of action once I get home.

"It's fine, that's my problem. Well, bye. I hate to say it, but thanks. I don't approve of your opinion, but I'll thank you." "Hold on. I answered your question, so I have something to ask of you as well."

"――――――――" I stop. …I don't want to, but it's nothing if I can return the favor.

"What? You're the one that said this is it. Make it short." "Well. Let's say by some chance, you do save Matou Sakura with this method. But are you fine with that, Emiya Shirou? Even if Matou Sakura is not a Holy Grail anymore, it will not change the fact that she ate humans. Are you going to protect such a sinner?"

"――――――――" It stops. My heart freezes.

"You are not the only one who cannot bear it. Matou Sakura has killed many. I do not think she will be able to forgive herself." "That's――――――" "It must be painful to commit a crime and live on, knowing you cannot atone for it. Then is it not better to just kill her? It is less painful that way, and it will be an apology to all who she has killed."

"――――――――" …That's right. The chain would end right there. It doesn't matter if she intended to or not. No matter the reason, the assailant must be punished. If she took lives, she must repay the victims with something of equal value.

So kill. My morals tell me I must kill Sakura if I truly pity the victims.

Not only that. If I can't save Sakura and she becomes a Holy Grail, nothing can stop her. Many more lives will be lost. Just like that day. Innocent people will die without knowing the meaning of their death.

I swallow the gastric juice coming up my throat. My eyes become bloodshot. I might bleed out of my eyes. ―――I slash the press͵re with thousands of swords and… "――――Right. But that won't be atonement." …I confess that I'll still protect Sakura.

"―――I see. So that means you will not follow Kiritsugu's path." He talks as if he's disinterested. The priest regards me with a bored expression, as if disappointed.

"Father's path…?" "That's right. Your father loved humans. Higher, wider, farther. He loved humans as they go over their limits without end. That is why he turned himself into the definite evil. That man would have killed Matou Sakura. He threw away his human emotions for the sake of justice."

"…Is that any different from you? Casting away one person's happiness for the sake of justice, for many people's happiness." "―――No. What you people call happiness did not bring me joy."

"Huh…?" That's not a reply. No, more than that… He's not even looking at me.

"Right, we were different. He threw away what he had, but I had nothing to throw away. The result was the same, but the process was completely different. His existence was too unpleasant. His agony was truly unpleasant. If he went to such lengths to cast it away, he should never have had it in the first place. But still he agonized over his decision, trying to pick it back up after he threw it away. As if saying that is the correct way for humans to live."

"The difference was crucial. Yes. If I cannot obtain anything, why was I born into this world?"

The priest's words are not directed at anyone. …But they contain anger. They contain emotion, which I thought this man did not have.

"…Hah. Come to think of it, there is no way you can succeed Kiritsugu. He did what was necessary by throwing things away, but you insist on having it both ways. We are similar, you and I. You died once and broke down when you were resurrected. It is posteriori, but you are like me, a defect from birth." "What…? What part of me is broken?"

"You just do not realize it. You have no concept of self. So I did not think you would concern yourself with a single person. No, rather―――" You are not concerned about many, but concerned about all as if they were only one. ――――Yes. Kotomine Kirei sounds almost envious as he speaks to himself.

"―――Anyway. I will not stop you if you plan to save Matou Sakura in spite of everything. Be burdened with as much sin as you want. But let me warn you. If you want to save Matou Sakura in any way, you will need to kill Matou Zouken. He will take over her body after her mind disappears. You will not be able to save her after that."

"You mean Zouken will take over Sakura?" "Yes. His main body is a parasite. I do not know where the worm with his soul exists, but it is easy for him to take over another's body as long as it is alive. He is immortal, in a way. You cannot completely eliminate him unless you find that tiny main body or purify his soul itself."

"―――I see. That's actually a relief. I have to defeat Zouken either way." "Hah. I see, it is certainly easy to understand. Defeat Matou Zouken and make Matou Sakura the winner. Control the Holy Grail that appears and purify Matou Sakura's body. So that is your course of action."

I don't want to, but I nod. The plan should be simple, like Kotomine said.

"This is just my personal opinion, but Matou Sakura's mind is surprisingly strong and too well-suited to the curse in the Holy Grail. If Rin is the positive, she is the negative. If Matou Zouken made a mistake, it is right there. That black shadow has developed Matou Sakura over his expectations. That must be why he contacted you."

"―――Protect Matou Sakura. If she can survive the emergence, she should not die." I don't say anything, but nod back. Kotomine wants Sakura to change. But he's still much better than Zouken.

"You won't get to take any part in this. I won't let such a mysterious thing be born." "That is the spirit. Whatever happens, do not let Zouken have her." With a snort, I turn my back to him.

―――I have no business here. I have to quickly go back to Sakura.

"――――――――What?" The first thing I feel after returning home is an icy chill. Nothing's wrong, and there's no sign of danger. But I have a bad feeling.

There's nobody in the living room. Ilya is sleeping in her room. Tohsaka is preparing for the projection in her room. Sakura is――――

"I'm coming in, Sakura." I call out and place my hand on the doorknob. ―――I feel a cold sensation on my back. I shake off my uneasiness and open the door.

"Sakura." "……!" I see Rider for a second, but her figure disappears. Behind her… The bed which Sakura should be in is empty.

"――――!" The light turns on. "Wha――――" I look around in surprise. "Welcome back. I won't ask where you were, but you certainly took your time."

"Tohsaka…? What is this――――?" "Isn't it obvious? Sakura went out by herself, and Rider has been glaring at me until now. …I guess she's under orders not to hurt you. She switched to spirit form and ran out as soon as you came in."

"Wha――――" Tohsaka sounds calm. …No, that's not it. Her voice doesn't sound calm. Her tone is one of cold disinterest, as if she's given up on something.

"――――Tohsaka. Sakura really went out…?" "It's true. She was gone before you left, so it's already been two hours. I don't know what her intentions are, but I guess she doesn't want to follow our directions. She had Rider stop me from going after her, so she must not want us to know what she's doing."

"Don't be stupid…! Sakura wouldn't hide things… from… us――――" I can't say for certain. …Sakura's nightmare. I have no idea what Sakura thought about her deteriorating body.

"We have to bring her back…! If we leave her alone, it'll…" "There may be victims. She might drain magical energy from anyone she sees, like when she attacked me at school. No one was attacked by the shadow last night, right? So she must be hungry."

"――――――――――――Tohsaka." Tohsaka looks away and swallows her words. Her eyes say to give up, telling me it's all over.

"Tohsaka, you…" "We can look for Sakura. I agree with that. But―――once we find her… You know what to do if Sakura isn't herself anymore, right?"

"―――That's not possible. Sakura will always be Sakura." "Are you insane? Can't you tell she's at her limit? Give up already, Shirou. If you keep protecting her, you'll be the first one to die――――"

"We can make stupid speculations later. We need to find Sakura and bring her home right now. After that I'll argue with you as long as you like, so shut up for now…!" "Hey, wait, Shirou――――!"

I run through the hallway. I don't have time to wonder where Sakura went. '――――It's over now, Shirou.'

I run outside at full speed, as if denying her words.

"Shirou. Are you going to go look for Sakura?" "――――" Then. Someone unexpected calls to me from behind.

…When did she come here? Ilya is watching me from a distance, as if there's a wall between us.

"…Ilya." "Tell me, Shirou. Are you going to go look for Sakura?" "――――――――" I nod. Ilya's voice is tense. The despair in her voice is different from Tohsaka's. As a Holy Grail, Ilya must understand what condition Sakura is in.

"I see. But Shirou, Sakura went outside by herself because she didn't want you to see her. She's scared and doesn't want to die, but she still chose to end herself in order to protect you. The Sakura you like doesn't exist anymore. She went out by herself to eliminate herself."

"――――――――" Ilya looks straight at me. I meet her gaze and shake my head. I won't let that happen. Even if Sakura isn't Sakura anymore, there's only one thing I'm going to do.

"……I see. But Shirou. Both Sakura and I have another self in us. It's probably not the Ilya you know, and it's not the Sakura you know. Sakura won't come back. She'll just be a different person after she changes. But you still refuse to kill her?"

A quiet question. This is what Ilya really means. The Holy Grail is made with the premise of it breaking down. So I don't need to hesitate about destroying it. But to me, it sounds like she's talking about herself rather than about Sakura.

"Shirou. Let me ask you one more time. Are you still going to go look for Sakura?" "………" I don't know how much emotion her question carries. So I honestly tell her the path I chose.

"Yes, I'm going to go look for her. Sakura will always be Sakura to me. The same goes for you. Even if you turn into a mysterious thing like a Holy Grail, you'll still be Ilya."

"…No matter how much you may have changed. If Ilya is inside you, you'll be the Ilya I know."

"――――" "I don't know about difficult things. That's all I care about."

I put my hand on the door. "…It's Zouken's place. That's the only place Sakura would go to." I hear her behind me. "All right. Please wait here, Ilya. I'll go find Sakura and bring her back right away."

I leave. Ilya stays standing in the hallway, as if seeing off something very far away.

I reach the Matou household. I'm not out of breath. My body has to be tired from all the running, but it doesn't complain to me at all.

"…It's open." I stop before I ring the doorbell. …Did someone go in or come out? The front door is half open, and it's dead quiet inside.

I don't feel any human presence. The Matou household is gloomier than yesterday.

There's nobody on the first floor. My footsteps echo through the hallway. The floor creaks as I make my way to the stairs.

There's nobody on the second floor. I see the sky through the glass above the landing. Once I make my way to the top, I'm able to tell that there's no living person on the second floor.

I turn to go back downstairs, but I stop. A living person. The strange feeling makes me head to the room with a slightly-opened door.

――――It's Sakura's room. I've seen it once before. But I've never actually gone in there before. It's because Sakura pushed us out with a red face when Shinji led me here.

I think that was two years ago. Nothing's changed. A girl's room. It's a simple room suited for Sakura. And on the bed… "――――Shinji." …Is the corpse of Matou Shinji.

Interlude 14-3

"Come here, you bitch…!" "Kya…!"

He pushes her down. Attacked from behind and still unable to move her limbs, the girl easily falls to the bed.

"You traitor! You're home late!" He gets on top of her as he screams. He scowls at the girl he pulled to this room, running his fingers across the skin he hasn't touched in a while. "――――!" The girl's chin jumps. The fingers, violating her as they crawl from her neck to her breasts, are a sign of the start.

Yes, the sequence is always the same. This man is the absolute master. The girl loses her will, opens up her body, and exposes her shame when he orders her. The only resistance came during the first time. The secret affairs after that were the same. The girl made no attempt to fight back, never showing even a sign of emotion. She was violated, attended to his needs, and drowned in lewdness like she was told to.

The reaction is the start of a regular routine. Even if she shows no emotion, her body cannot suppress the pleasure. Her lustful body reacts happily as it accepts men.

"Hah―――yeah, that's what I expect from you! That's right, you don't change, no matter how quiet you pretend to be. You're a Matou woman. You're a vulgar failure of a magus, a whore that wants men's sperm!" The man roughly pushes down the girl's body. "Hm…! No――――" A spasm runs through her. The man smiles, believing the reaction is the same as always.

It's no different. Their relationship will never change, no matter where the woman may run. Even if she regains her emotion or finds another man, she will want him once he pushes her down. This woman is his possession. It doesn't matter if she is the heir. She is merely a toy given to him.

That's why he doesn't notice until it happens. The girl struggling beneath him feels no excitement. He doesn't notice that she's filled with nothing but disgust and loathing.

"Oh, you sure are energetic today. I see, so Emiya wasn't able to satisfy you. I see, I see, that's great! I bet Emiya is depressed now! The girl he fell in love with was a real sex maniac!" Does that knowledge please him more than the act of violating her? The man laughs from the bottom of his heart and reaches out for her clothes. He'll do the usual. He will not undress her. He always exposes her body. He rips the clothes off her, as if tearing her apart.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Let's have a wild fuck." A crack opens in the girl's chest. At that instant… "No――――stop! Don't come near me, Nii-san…!" The girl refuses the man with all her might.

"Huh――――?" The man stops. He lets go of her breasts, then looks down at the girl as one might look at a mysterious thing.

"What did you say? What did you just say?" A voice of surprise. The girl gulps, but stares resolutely back at him.

"―――I-I said please don't come near me. I won't obey you anymore. …Senpai accepted a girl like me. He said he'll protect me…! I'm not yours, Nii-san! I'm Senpai's now…!"

The girl frantically tries to push the man off of her. But the man will not even budge. It's only natural. Her strength cannot push a man back, least of all when he has her in a mounted position. "Wha――――――――" A hollow voice. The man looks down at the girl on the bed.

"―――Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up, you whore――――!" And he starts punching his sister in a rage.

"Emiya's…!? You won't do as I tell you…!? Don't get it wrong, you don't have such a right! I'm the one to decide! You just have to nod back like always…!" He does not hold back. The man has no sanity left, having been denied by his possession, something that should never betray him.

"Take it back, Sakura! You're mine. You're nobody else's…! Know your place! You were sold to Matou…! So you have no right to disobey me…!" He punches her as though he has gone mad. ; " " The girl does not fight back. She doesn't even protect her face from the punches. Her eyes show great determination, condemning the man on top of her.

"……!" That is the last straw. He can't stand the look in her eyes. He doesn't want her staring straight at him.

So… "―――I see. Then I have a plan too. Do what you want if you like Emiya so much. …But Sakura. You shouldn't hide things from someone you love, right?" He decides to reveal everything the girl fears the most.

"――――――――Nii-san." Her eyes open wide. "Hah." He laughs. The expression of despair pleases him a bit.

"That's right, Sakura. I'll tell Emiya all about it. He accepted you, right? Then this is nothing at all." "N――――――――" She can't form the words. The girl stares in astonishment. She looks up at her older brother with empty eyes, just like before.

"Hah. Haha, ahahahahahahaha! That's right, that's all you can manage! Just be obedient if you don't want that. You're my toy. Don't disobey me no matter what…!" The laughter fills the room. But for the girl, it only sounds like annoying howling.

"――――――――y?" Why? The girl asks, her mind empty.

She doesn't want her Senpai―――Shirou to find out about her secret. The relationship with her brother, her task to supervise the Emiya household, and her eleven years of life in the basement. Her Senpai knows. He already knows. The only thing he doesn't know about is her relationship with her brother. But he should not hate her, even after finding out about it. Shirou will probably forgive her.

"――――――――Oh." Right. Just like last night, he will destroy something in order to accept her. But that's why she cannot bear it. She doesn't want to take anything more away from him. She would rather keep things like this. She can let her brother rape her, like she always does.

"N――――――――" But she can't. …She was able to bear it until now. But now her body belongs to Shirou… and the thought of giving that body to her brother disgusts her.

"――――――――o." She cannot accept either. She doesn't want to be violated by her brother, and she doesn't want him to tell Shirou about their secret.

All that's left is her naked emotion. The mind that has been suppressed for eleven years…

The man grabs her breasts. Her brother tries to expose her body as if it's natural to do so. "No――――No, no, no, no…! Stop, I don't want this, please stop, Nii-san…!" She resists with all her might. He laughs at her futile efforts.

"Hah, what are you saying? You want it, right? You don't care as long as it's a man. Oh, that's why I have to tell Emiya about it. About how bad you clung onto me and how dirtily we fucked…!" He laughs. He laughs. Her brother laughs.

"――――――――" And she realizes. He will tell him. No matter what happens, no matter what she does, he will tell her Senpai about it. …No matter what. He intends to ruin her for his own amusement.

"―――――――Why?" She murmurs. Why does it always end up like this? She endured so many things so he wouldn't find out about it. She lied, lied to others, lied to herself, and kept telling herself that she could be happy. She thought she was happy just by being at her Senpai's house.

But… Why isn't he protecting such a small thing? "――――――――" …No, he's not the only one who isn't protecting her. She thought for a long time. She has cursed for a long time. Why. Why―――the world around her hates her so much――――

"――――" The strength floods out of her body. She loses her will to resist, and her brother looks down at her in satisfaction.

"Ha――――Haha, hahahahahahahahahaha! Come on, spread your legs like you always do, bitch…! You wouldn't even care if a dog fucked you, right!? All you can do is accept a man…!" Asserting his dominance, he starts to violate her like he always does. The girl stares up him with empty eyes. "――――I wish he wouldn't exist." Eleven years. She thinks something she has never thought during that time.

"――――――――" The air makes a sound. The man on top of her falls down. Fresh blood splatters onto her. The girl raises her body and looks at her silent brother.

"――――――――Oh." It was an instant death. He must have been hit with a very sharp string. A line is visible on the back of his head, as if it was drawn in with a pencil. The line reaches his brain, but the line is too thin to make his brain spill out, and his blood is the only thing flowing out.

"――――――――Oh." She looks down at it without emotion. The shadow that killed her brother wavers. It wavers in the gray sunlight. Her own shadow… Her own shadow is standing up and wavering.

"――――――――Ah." So she's the one that killed. It was she who killed her brother. She understands, but does not feel anything. She feels nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No disgust, no fear, no guilt, no regret. The only thought in her vacant mind is that it was easy.

"――――――――Ah, ah." She's used to it. This isn't her first time. Because she saw plenty in her dreams. She saw it in her dream――――so did she copy what she saw?

"――――――――Ah, ha." She doesn't know. But she thinks she should've done it sooner. If she'd known she wouldn't feel anything, she would've done it a long time ago. She thinks, and… "――――――――Fu――――――――Fufu." …Her empty emotion murmurs that it was fun.

It was fun. It was fun. It was fun…? It was fun…?

Where? When? What?

Dream. Dream. That's right. She wasn't dreaming. Those dreams were――――

Not dreams. The one that wandered through the night and killed the men was herself. Yes, she killed many people. She killed many, many people. KILLED those that ran away KILLED without leaving a drop KILLED everyone KILLED with pleasure KILLED laughing KILLED laughing KILLED laughing…!!

"――――Aha. Ahaha. Ahahaha." It's so funny, she laughs. Because she'll break down unless she laughs. She can't bear it unless she's laughing. But more tears flow out the more she laughs, and everything becomes meaningless for her.

"Haha! Ahaha, hahahahahahahaha!" It's so funny that her stomach hurts. It's as if she's regressing mentally every time she laughs. But it's so comforting and natural. Oh, how stupid, how stupid, how foolish…!

"――――Fu――――Fufu, ah." Her face is contorted in a manic grin. In place of her silent brother, the girl sweetly spills out a voice like glass.

…And like that. After tinkering with her brother's body like she's playing house, she gets up. She stands in front of the mirror, still covered in blood. ―――Behind her stands the shadow that killed so many.

Her own shadow. The black shadow that has eaten countless people. Someone was there, trying hard not to turn her into it. Someone was there by her side. She laughs. There was never any hope for her.

"――――I see. I was slowly going crazy." She twirls in front of the mirror. The girl makes a proud smile. "―――Look, Senpai. I was crazy from the beginning." And speaks as if asking for a dance.

The girl's consciousness ends there. No, to be more accurate, it changes. It's merely that her repressed subconscious has risen to the surface.

Something talks to the girl. Behind her. The darkness stays as darkness, shows up as a presence, and looks at the girl.

"――――You have killed many people, Sakura." The girl doesn't reply. She doesn't even need to acknowledge such a question.

"―――You cannot live as a human anymore." The girl doesn't reply. She doesn't even need to be told about it.

"―――Accept the shadow. Nobody can stop you. Seize the daughter of Einzbern and obtain the Holy Grail. That is the only way for you to live." "――――Yes. As you wish, Grandfather." She nods quietly. Did she agree because it sounds fun? Or did she just want to run away? The girl doesn't understand her own mind anymore.

But the pain in her body goes away as soon as she accepts it. …It crawls up. Black mud comes out from her core and smears itself on her skin. The pain turns into fire to burn her skin. Like a curse… It turns her white skin into something else.

"――――Oh. With this, I…" …Won't lose to anyone. Nobody will get in the way. She knows that she is the strongest one now. The absolute certainty is similar to a sexual uplifting. In her mind, the girl defeats everyone who has threatened her. She pierces their legs as they run, rips off their arms as they fight back, stitches shut their mouths as they beg for mercy, chews on their eyes as they cry from pain, and finally gouges out their heart, laughing.

"Hm――――" Her body trembles. Just imagining it brings her close to orgasm. …And in this fantasy… Foremost in her mind is the relative she loves the most, the one called Tohsaka Rin.

End of Interlude

"Shinji." Shinji's corpse is on the bed. There's nothing else. What happened here? There's no way I would know, but… "――――Sakura." …Somehow, I can tell that Sakura killed him.

"…………" I can't think. Shinji's corpse. Sakura's whereabouts. It's only been half a day since I embraced Sakura, so how did it end up like this?

"Oh. So it is the Emiya boy. I would like to commend you for coming here, but it seems you were a bit too late."

"――――!" I turn around at the sudden voice.

"……!" There's no one behind me. I know there's nobody in this house. Zouken's voice is echoing through the room even though he's not here.

"Zouken…! What did you do to Sakura…!?"

"I did nothing. As you can see, my unworthy grandson tried to violate her and was killed instead. It's nothing to make a fuss over. But―――this will be the last time I call him an unworthy grandson. He was useless, but he fulfilled his role in the end."

He laughs. I can't see the old magus, but I'm sure he's laughing with a hideous face.

"Shinji's role…?" "Yes. I cannot make her put her mind to it. She hates me too much. So I had to have you or Shinji break her down. I needed Sakura to feel despair in this world to have her accept her own shadow."

"Wha――――" "Oh, my. It was my mistake. I took her emotional strength too lightly. I expected her to break easily, but she would never do so on her own. It seems torturing her for a long time had its flaw. I did not expect her to become so persistent."

"You――――――――" My nerves condense. Before I even understand what he's saying, I clench my right fist, open my Magic Circuit, and…

"Well, if I am to be greedy, I wanted you to betray her. She would not have awakened incompletely, but her body and mind would have completely turned into the shadow in that case! But that is only a matter of time. With Shinji's death, she has finally accepted her position. I need only watch over her now. She will follow her instincts to feed on people, and destroy herself from overeating. My work comes after th――――"

I punch the wall. With all my might, I lash out at the darkness where the voice is coming from. I unconsciously fill my hand with magical energy, which is transmitted into the wall and sweeps the darkness from the room.

"My, how frightening. The worms I left to keep watch over this place have been crushed. Haha, soon my voice will no longer reach you." "――――Shut up and get out here, Zouken…! I'll rip you to pieces…!"

"Well, I am afraid I cannot do that. The goal the Makiri have sought for five hundred years is within my grasp. I cannot be killed now, yet I'm not so ungrateful as to kill you."

"Ungrateful…? Shut up! When did I do anything for you…!?"

"You did. You raised Sakura. Before, she merely endured, but you taught her how to desire others. Yes, I appreciate what you did, Emiya Shirou. This ritual was a success because of you. That is why I will not kill you. I need you to see her after she matures…!"

"Zou… ken." "Kaka, nobody can stop her now. She has killed her brother, so she cannot turn back. She will take in Archer's soul from Einzbern's Holy Grail and steal the key to reach the gate. That will be the end. Makiri's earnest desire, the reproduction of the Third Sorcery, will be achieved…!"

The annoying laugh echoes through the room. I――――

#votestaynight

[misseviehyde]

WEARING HER AWAY

"Please... please don't put the jacket back on! I'll do anything - just please throw it away or destroy it."

Bella laughed as she waved the leather jacket that her boyfriend had recently bought her, in front of his face teasingly.

"What's the matter Bobby... not man enough to handle me when I change? Don't you like what a fucking bitch I become?"

He sobbed, shaking his head as laughing she began to slide the jacked back on. "Awwwww that's too bad because.... mmmmmmh...I... oooooooh fuck yesssss, LOVE how THIS feels."

Bobby watched helplessly as Bella began to transform. The changes were happening faster each time, and when she took off the jacket more of her evil personality remained. Soon the day would come when her new alter ego would take control forever.

He watched as bitchy blue and pink streaks appeared in her hair, cruel lips twisted into a wicked smile and sharp purple nails shot out of her fingers.

Belladonna was back to play...

*********

It had begun a few weeks ago when Bobby had noticed the jacket for sale in a charity shop. It was tight black leather and looked like something a bitchy biker chick would wear. He bad been immediately drawn to it without really knowing why.

Buying the jacket, he'd bought it home for Bella. She'd been unsure at first, but eventually decided to try on the jacket.

He had loved how it fitted her. As soon as she zipped it up she seemed wilder, hornier, more dominant.

They'd fucked all afternoon. Bella's pussy had felt tighter than ever. She'd ground on top of him laughing as she teased his cock and brought him to completion.

"You like that don't you you little bitch?"

He grunted in pain as she dug her fingernails into his chest and raked them down leaving scratches.

He didn't remember her nails being that sharp before... or her body so... tight.

When it came time to take off the jacket Bella had been reluctant. As soon as it was off, she looked at it thoughtfully.

"Babe... I think there's something weird about this jacket. It made me feel so... different, when I wore it."

Bobby put it out of his head. It wasn't like the jacket was magic or something.

**********

The next day and Bobby woke up to find the bed next to him empty and the jacket gone. Hearing strange sounds next door he went into the spare room and gasped.

Bella was lying on the bed with her legs spread open. She was wearing a pair of tight black 'fuck-me' boots and the leather jacket. Her appearance seemed even bitchier than yesterday and he noted she now appeared to have bright purple nails, super sharp and cruel.

It was hard to focus anywhere else as she grunted in pleasure and pumped a dildo in and out of her pussy.

"Oh... it's you," she sneered. "You were asleep but I wanted to try the jacket again. I think it's making me into some sort of fucking bitch. Isn't that cool?"

Bobby shook his head.

"N...no... this isn't right. You need to stop wearing it..."

Bella laughed. "Yeah right? Do you have any idea how good this feels? I want this jacket to fuck me up and make me evil. I LOVE how it feels."

As she spoke, Bella groaned and streaks of blue and pink appeared in her hair. "Fuck YES. Giving into this power gives me such a rush. Now get out of here loser. I wanna cum in peace."

*********

Bella peeked around the corner of the door. She wasn't wearing the jacket anymore and had returned to normal. She smiled at Bobby.

"Sorry about that babe - but I get carried away when I wear that jacket."

"But... you're back to normal now. You realise now what it's doing to you?"

"Oh I know EXACTLY what it's doing to me... and I like it."

"B...but..." stammered Bobby as Bella grinned at him.

"Buh.... buh what?" laughed Bella. "Why would I want to stay as this loser when the jacket is making me into such a hot bitch? You have no idea how addictive it feels. I'm off to bed. Get some rest - I have a special surpise for you tomorrow..."

*************

Bobby whimpered as he watched Bella slide off her new motorbike and strut to the door. She was wearing the jacket again and she looked even more bitchy than last time.

"Fuck yes... I love the feeling of a machine throbbing between my legs." She laughed as anothet motorbike gunned its way down the road.

"Of course - a real man is even better than a machine. Which is why I asked Jack here to join me for the afternoon."

Bobby watched incredulously as a muscled guy with tattoo's pulled up on a bike and sliding off walked over to Bella and kissed her deeply.

Grabbing his hand she winked at Bobby and led her new lover inside. "Feel free to listen to him fuck me and you can beat that pathetic meat if you like loser."

"Why are you doing this to me?" sobbed Bobby.

"Because it feels good... because I love to feel my soul become more and more evil. I'm going to wear this jacket until it's made me into the most cruel and vicious slut you can imagine."

**********

And so here Bobby was now watching his formerly lovely girlfriend transform back into a bitch and loving every moment.

"Mmmmmh that's SO much better. The more I wear this jacket, the better it makes me feel."

Turning to face Bobby, Bella grinned as she zipped up the jacket and felt it's wicked energy pulse through her.

"There's almost nothing left of who I used to be. I'm just a fucking evil bitch now and I love it. Now my old personality is worn away - it's time to wear you down too."

Bobby wept as his girlfriend's evil laughter filled his ears. He was doomed and no one could help him now...

#evie hyde #bitchification #f2f transformation

[spideyspeaches]

Heart made of glass ↬ t.h

A/N: Beta read by the lovely @hollandcrush​ !! <3<3

Request (Summary): can you please write one about Tom, who is on the filming process of cherry and has some emotional problems because he feels that his character is already part of his life, so he comes home very angry and in a bad mood, so he just snaps and creates a big fight with the reader and just says things that he obviously didn't meant, you know very angst, and at the end just very fluff.

Hope you like this anon! Lemme know your thoughts heh <3<3

Warnings: breakdowns, slight vomiting but it’s not graphic. I’m not in any way romanticizing or sexualising breakdowns. 

WC: 2k+ 

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

Tom was an ambitious guy. He took his roles seriously, no matter what his character was and who he played. It was an admirable trait, the way he both enjoyed his work and worked hard to earn a high place in such a place as Hollywood. 

You always took pride in how amazing and accomplished your boyfriend was, your heart swelling whenever you heard his name being mentioned in events and interviews. You enjoyed how he tried to diversify the movies he worked in. 

("I've been playing the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man for so long, it's about time I play someone different now." He once said in a Jimmy Kimmel interview. You were watching from the audience, smiling as the audience roared in affirmation. 

"Well looks like you took quite a big leap from playing a superhero." Jimmy said, smiling at the audience with his paparazzi smile. 

You knew the question was scripted, quite harmless, but you still noticed how his shoulder stiffened, his smile not wavering once. 

"Well yeah, I used to be a superhero and now I'm a heroin addict." He joked, winking at the audience as he ran a hand through his nearly hairless head.

He cried himself to sleep that night, burying his face in your chest as you shushed him. )

It always worked in his favour, with the incredible support his family and fan base provided. And he was always so humble about it. 

Filming Cherry, however, was way different than he thought it would. With filming Cherry came consequences that he didn't necessarily like. He knew what he was bringing on himself and his family when he was first introduced with the script.

(Contrary to popular belief, he didn't actually give out spoilers, it was just small promotional stunts that kind of took over as his reputation to spoil minor details.)  

The process was intense, getting into the mindset of "Cherry" was taxing, and people were beginning to notice it in him. He was more restless, tugging at his non existent curls when he thought no one would notice. 

He was more clingy, more appreciative of your body and you, letting you know that there was no sexual intent behind his acts of caressing your waist at random times. You didn't notice the change in his behaviour. 

He had always been like this, watching you with the most gratifying gaze a man could muster, his pretty brown eyes like globes of whiskey, staring at you with a muffled expression. You didn't notice. 

There had always been a cutting edge to his voice, you knew and adored it. Behind the British actor who played Spider-Man, he was your Tom. Your Tom who gave you forehead kisses and baked cakes with you and made silly playlists that reminded him of you and you of him, your Tom who worshiped the ground you walked on, your Tom, your Tom and your Tom.

(Sometimes you envied that he was an actor, so good at hiding any emotions he felt, it came easy to him, just another fake emotion like he was a face behind the camera.)

He was never aggressive towards you. Never. Even on tough days, he was soft, caring and understanding to the point where it made you mad, immediately making you feel guilty. He worked so hard and yet here you were, blaming him for being nice, never standing up for himself.

"Uh, Tom, Tom stop, wait." You grunted, pushing his shoulders as he scrambled away from you at your discontent. 

You held his face, his breath hitching, hyperventilating as he tried to get himself together. 

Ever since he had started filming Cherry, he had been away from you. And now that you were finally here, he had been all over you, making love to every inch of your skin, like it was a holy grail he had to find, caressing your warm skin under his fingers making you shiver as his nimble fingers wandered. It was the intimacy, sexual and quasi-sexual, that made you realise, that there was something wrong.

Sex- it had been a constant in your life other than Tom. But of course, you didn't live on it. It was but a fuel that strengthened your relationship, it was about discovery and showing your vulnerable sides. It was a reminder of the coffee dates and baseball matches. It was loving, gentle and raw, like a gentle breeze caressing your face.

But this, this was different. And you noticed. This, what you had been doing, it was fucking. It was aggressive and needy and it felt good, but at the same time, it felt different.

"Baby?" You asked softly, trying to meet his eyes in the dark lit trailer. It was late, way past filming times, the only time you got to see his vulnerable side. 

You should have been in his hotel room, but you were in his trailer instead. All alone in the all encompassing darkness, it made your heart stutter beats. 

"Baby speak to me. What's happening, who's doing this to you?" You ask once again, holding onto him firmly this time, his squirming frame making you loosen your hold. You didn't care that you were naked, he had already seen it all. 

Fiddling with the rough sheets, he huffed a heavy breath. And that was all it took for the dam to break. 

"Tell me how do you feel baby, you're starting to scare me." You urged. All you got in response was his muffled sobs. Pulling him forward, you let his head rest on your bare chest, rivulets of tears sliding down your warm skin, almost burning you like acid, his tiny hair tickling you, a very contrasting feeling. 

"I can't do it. I can't take it anymore." He sniffed, wrapping his strong arms around you, shivering at the contact. It was a cold night in Cleveland, and you were naked and he was crying. You were berating yourself for not noticing. 

"What can't you take anymore?" You hold him, tracing circles on his buzz cut hair, just the way you did when he had his curls. 

"I feel like I'm becoming him. I don't like it at all, I try and try but I can't." He sobs, shoulders hitching with each sob. You felt your heart break, the sounds of his cries sending daggers into your skin. 

How could you have not noticed? The lively sunshine of a man was almost an empty shell. The interviews with former drug addicts had been excruciating for you, pity, disgust, sympathy and every other sinful emotion swirling in your mind. 

You couldn't believe that you hadn't thought about Tom, of what an effect it would have on him. 

"Bub, listen to me, carefully," you said, shushing him as he continued to look at you, teary eyed and red nosed, snot dripping out of his nose,"you listen to me. You're strong and resilient and nothing like him okay? He's not you. You're Tom Holland. You're brilliant and brave and amazing okay?" 

"But I don't feel that way!" He said, his aggressive stance surprising you, "he's- he's…" 

"He's what?" You asked, a little too impatient. Muttering a sorry, you rub your palm on his cheek, kissing the soft, moist skin.

"I don't feel so good." He croaked, getting up suddenly, making a run for the washroom. You rushed after him, watching him as he heaved into the toilet. Rubbing his back, you muttered affirmations, curling besides him as he sat on the ground, his back to the cold wall. 

You got up to switch on the lights, feeling his hands tugging yours, a soft "stay" coming out of him. 

"Better?" You asked, feeling him now against your collarbone. 

"I shouldn't be this affected, this- this isn't fair. I'm overreacting, I'm sorry I worried you baby I swear I didn't mean to-" 

"Shh, Tom first of all, you're not overreacting okay?" You smiled, kissing his nose, moving towards his brows and his forehead, "It's perfectly reasonable. The role you're playing...It's not exactly picking daisies. Fuck you're playing a heroin addict Tommy, a broken soldier with PTSD, a breakdown was inevitable. It only shows that you're human." 

"Really?" He smiled, it looked more like a grimace, a plea for reassurance. 

"Yes, really." You said, booping his nose, eliciting a giggle from him,"now, you better go to bed mister, you have an early shoot don't you?" You playfully scolded, kissing his lips, laughing as he carried you bridal style. 

"Tomorrow will be better." You whispered, kissing his eyelids, already closed, chest moving rhythmically as you counted his pulse, making sure he was completely asleep before slipping on your clothes, covering him with the thin quilt. 

***

"Is everything okay on set?" You asked casually, watching the crewmates work tirelessly in the daylight. 

You were standing next to Ciara on a prop jeep, fiddling with the water bottle held in your hand. 

"Hmm, as okay it can be with two people playing drug addicts." She shrugged, looking at you with a small smile. 

"Are you okay?" You asked, turning to give her your full attention, remembering your boyfriend's breakdown yesterday. 

"It gets… intense at times. Some scenes are hard to play, but we're okay. Mostly." She answered, taking your water bottle and chugging the water. 

"I'm not a therapist, but you can talk to me, you know?" You smiled, holding her shoulder as she gave you a bashful smile. 

"It's been tough on Tom. He's more aggressive, nearly had a breakdown during a scene." She said. 

"Yeah, that.. that happened yesterday too." 

"It was time, a person can only hold so much right?" 

"Yeah." 

You pondered her words, wondering if you could do anything to curb this. 

"I think I need help." He said one day while you were eating dinner. Harry, who was sitting next to you, looked up from his plate, giving you a knowing look before clearing his throat. 

"I'm gonna get some water." He said, waving awkwardly at you and getting up. You took that as a cue to scoot closer to Tom, running your hands through his camel hair. 

"That's very brave of you hun, asking for help." You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. You felt him smile, sliding closer to you, holding you by your waist. 

"I learnt from the best." He muttered in your hair, kissing your forehead. 

You felt his love that day, felt the way he ran his smooth fingers on your waistline, sliding across your thighs with care and softness you hadn't felt in a while. He was healing. It was a process, it took time but it happened.

***

You were walking across the library, his hand in yours, your hearts beating in silence. 

"How was your appointment?" You asked, shivering in the cold air. You rubbed your palms together, bringing your jacket closer to your chest, huffing the cold air. 

"It was good, much different from what the media portrays. She even showed me this meme she thinks you would like, look." He said, bringing out his phone to show you the saved meme. 

You laughed at his eagerness, kissing his lips as a final gratification. 

"Well it looks like you're having a great time. You have another scene left to do today in the evening so we better scram." You reminded him. 

You always did that, remind him of his schedule, reminded him to take a breath when he felt like he was drowning. You reminded him of home and what he had to look forward to.

"Why can't we have a lazy day today?" He whined, kissing your neck, making you giggle as it tickled. 

"You know you can't do that hun, you already took three days off." You snickered, poking his sides. 

"Well that sucks. I just want to spend my day with my girl, is that too much to ask?" He smiled, kissing your forehead, one hand holding yours, swinging back and forth, the other holding a large cup of coffee in a tight grip. 

You reached to loosen his fingers, taking a sip, slurping loudly, making him laugh. You decided you liked this laugh much better, it was breathy and free, a melody to your ears. 

You noticed how he was more relaxed and back to being that ray of sunshine. Back to being your Tom.

Thanks for reading! also as a side note- here’s a similar fic @itsallyscorner​ !!

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #spideygirl writes

[sirenascales]

-> double black [final part] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

Let's end this with a bang, shall we? Also, let's not cry too much, okay? [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

4,004 words

warning: SMUT, double vaginal penetration, oral [M], face fucking, slight degradation, passing out, emotions in the end

note:  we're finally done! thanks to everyone who took the time to read my silly story! I truly hope this brought you some type of joy and entertainment! I would appreciate some final feedback now that we are finished. Please dont be shy 🥺❤

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || Masterlist

I couldn't help the deep sigh that left from behind my lips as strong hands massaged my back, my body relaxing on the comfortable massage bed. A floral, relaxing scent wafted through my nose, further relaxing me.

"Your body is so tense," a soft, feminine voice said and I hummed in response, eyes closing as the person's hands continued to massage me. "Don't worry, I'll have you all better by the end."

I just hummed again, letting my mind wander as the masseuse massaged my muscles. If she noticed the bruises and bite marks left on my skin, she didn't say anything, just massaging them a little more carefully.

The night before... just thinking back to it made me chew on my bottom lip, remembering how both Chuuya and Dazai thoroughly fucked me deep into the night. They basically turned me inside out, pulling orgasm after orgasm from my body, using me in any which way to please them until I was a fucked out, shaking mess, lying on my back staring blankly at the ceiling.

I can hear their laughter still in my head, the dirty words they whispered still fresh in my mind. Can still feel their rough fingers digging into my flesh, in my mouth, inside me, pulling me into new heights over and over again until I was basically brain dead.

Last night was the first night in days that I had actually gotten some sleep, having woken up refreshed, yet still sore just this morning. It took a bit to get up and walk around, searching for clothes only to remember that I didn't even pack a bag when Chuuya brought me to the penthouse.

"You won't need it," Chuuya told me, sitting at the bar and sipping some tea. He only wore his pants, his shirtless form making me flustered a bit.

"I can't walk around naked, you know. What if I need to leave the penthouse?" I huffed, earning a laugh from Dazai, who was still cuddled up in the blankets.

"You're not leaving, bella~"

I scoffed. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I took vacation time."

"Bullshit."

Dazai just grinned at me and I rolled my eyes. I can just hear Kunikida bursting a blood vessel at this very moment. I shook my head, feeling Chuuya come up and hug me from behind, kissing on my neck softly.

"You won't be leaving," he confirmed Dazai's statement and I shivered slightly. "The masseuse will be here in an hour, so eat breakfast. I felt just how tight and tense your body was last night."

"We need you to be nice and pliable~" Dazai sang and I scoffed, my face heating up.

"Horn dogs..." I grumbled, Chuuya letting me go. After a much needed shower and breakfast, there was a knock on the door and now here I was, the very skilled masseuse kneading out every tight knot in my body.

"Thank you," Chuuya told the masseuse after finishing the session with me. He handed her a fat wad of cash and as she headed out the penthouse, more than pleased with the large tip.

"... and you really think you don't scream 'sugar daddy'?" I asked him, earning a huff and a glare from the red head. Dazai snickered, arm wrapping around my loose body. He led me over to the bar to join Chuuya and I sat on the stool. There was a bit of a silence and I took a look at the two of them before I set my hands on the bar.

"Okay," I started. "Let's talk."

"Ohhh, exciting," Dazai hummed, grabbing the whiskey and pouring himself a glass. "Now that things have finally settled down, I guess it's finally time to have this conversation."

Chuuya was confused. "What conversation?"

"What else? This," I gestured between the three of us. "Us."

"... aren't we just what, fuck buddies? Hell, we were only supposed to have a one night stand!"

"Yet, here we are, Chuuya."

"That's what happens when you have good pussy," Dazai remarked and I gasped, completely scandalized as my face heated up.

"Dazai!"

"What, it's true!"

"Ugh, even if we are just fuck buddies, we have to set boundaries! Expectations!" I exclaimed. "We haven't used condoms, we know Dazai is a little thot-" 

"Hey!" 

"Pfft!"

"Don't laugh, Chuuya, you are way too pretty to not be gettin' some."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you're the only one I've been sleeping with," Dazai admitted and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I don't know if I believe you."

"But it's true! Whose bed have I been in the most recently?"

"I... well, you have a point."

"And you're the first I've had in a while," Chuuya admitted himself. "I had a lot of things going on."

I nodded my head in understanding, fiddling with my thumbs a bit. "Well... I just want us to be safe. And well, you know, happy so... I don't mind... keeping things how they are now. You know, casual..." I was getting a bit flustered.

"I don't have a problem with it," Dazai said with a shrug.

"Of course you don't," Chuuya huffed. "But fine. It'll be better if feelings don't get involved anyway."

"Oh, most definitely," I agreed with a nod of my head. "And if anyone wants out, then that's okay."

"Oh bella, I don't think that's happening anytime soon," Dazai hummed, finishing his whiskey. He set the glass down, capturing my gaze with his heated eyes and I gasped softly. I then felt my hair being pushed to the side and I bit my lip as Chuuya pressed up against me, kissing on my neck.

"Wait-" I gasped, watching as Dazai stood up from his stool, already pulling off his shirt. "We need to-"

"Talking is over," Chuuya whispered, easily pulling me off the stool. We followed Dazai back towards the bed, it was made with fresh, clean sheets. My mind immediately wandered back to the night before and a chill went down my spine.

It didn't take long for things to get heated, me now sandwiched between them standing at the foot of the bed. My hands were in Chuuya's hair as we kissed, his hands going to undo the robe I was in. The soft material fell to the ground and from behind, Dazai cupped my breasts in his hands, leaving hot, open mouth kisses on my neck.

Dazai's fingers pinched and pulled at my nipples, while Chuuya pushed his hand between my legs, fingers finding my clit. I gasped when he started to rub circles on it, his free arm wrapping around my waist to keep me still.

"You're so wet already," Chuuya whispered against my lips and I whined softly.

"Are you surprised?" Dazai asked, his voice dark yet teasing. "Our dirty little girl is always ready for us to just... take her. Is that right?"

He had asked me and I whimpered softly, nodding my head as I bit my lip to keep me from moaning loudly as Chuuya pushed two fingers inside my wet pussy. Dazai tutted, Chuuya snickering a bit as Dazai grabbed me by my hair, yanking my head back. I cried out, Dazai hissing in my ear.

"I thought we taught you yesterday. Use your fucking words."

"Yes!" I cried out, Chuuya slowly fucking his fingers into me, making it harder for me to talk. I knew I had to answer, but the way that his fingers curled into me made it oh so difficult. No fair. "Yes... 'm so wet for you... I always want you..."

"And why is that?" Chuuya asked, curling his fingers again, Dazai reaching around to rub on my clit as he mouthed along my neck.

"Cause!" I squealed. "I'm- I'm a whore... your whore... your subordinate..."

The men cursed and I found myself thrown onto the bed, only getting a quick second to gather my thoughts before they were on me, Dazai now kissing me deeply while Chuuya kissed along on my chest, taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I moaned in pleasure, squeezing my thighs together, only for both men to reach and spread my legs open.

"Don't fucking hide your pussy from me," Chuuya growled and I whimpered and nodded, crying out when Dazai pushed two of his long fingers into me.

It wasn't long until I found myself on my hands and knees, Chuuya fucking me from behind while Dazai held a tight grip on my head, fucking my mouth. My moans were muffled, the two men moaning, hissing and cursing from their own pleasure.

"I don't know which I like better, your pussy or this hot fucking mouth," Dazai hissed down at me, thrusting his cock deep into my throat then going still, almost making me gag as he made my mouth cockwarm him. "That's right, savor it..."

"Definitely love this pussy, so fucking tight..." Chuuya grunted, hands digging into my hips as he continued to fuck me, the feeling of my walls convulsing around him bringing him near his orgasm. "Fuck, dollface... it's like you were made for us, made for me." He moved his hand around to start rubbing at my clit, my moans and screams muffled by Dazai's cock.

Tears were already running down my face, the vibration from my moans making Dazai tilt his head back as he groaned deeply. Chuuya only had to fuck into me a bit longer before my orgasm rushed through me, my eyes rolling back and my toes curling as I tightened impossibly hard around him. Dazai quickly pushed my head away from him, and I knew it was because I was so close to unconsciously biting him.

"Fuck!" Chuuya quickly pulled out, beginning to stroke his cock himself, when I suddenly shouted.

"Inside! Please!"

Not even thinking about it, Chuuya plunged right back inside of me, pressing me down onto the bed with his hands on my back. His thrusts were almost wild, rough with reckless abandon and I sobbed, clawing into the bed sheets until I found what felt like someone's thigh, clinging onto it.

Feeling Chuuya cum deep inside of me triggered yet another orgasm for me and my mouth was wide open in a silent scream. I barely registered Dazai's hand cupping my jaw, his other stroking his cock until he came right into my gaping mouth.

"Oh fuck, bella... c'mon, swallow it all..." Dazai cooed, closing my mouth for me, wiping my tears away as I did as he told me. I opened my mouth to show him and he smiled slightly. "That's a good girl..."

"Fuck... that was intense..." Chuuya breathed out, lying on his back as I slowly sat up on the bed, catching my breath. My body shook, my mind still hazing as I looked over the two of them. At the sight of blood on Dazai's thigh, my jaw dropped.

"Oh no, I'm sorry..." I whispered, seeing just how hard I dug my nails into his skin.

Dazai just chuckled, waving his hand dismissively as he made himself comfortable against the headboard. "Don't worry about it, bella."

"But-"

"If you're that worried, then come make it up to me. Come sit on this cock."

A chill goes down my spine, but I was already moving to crawl over to him, straddling him and sinking down right on his cock. I gasped sharply, still feeling a bit sensitive but I took it like a champ, trembling on Dazai's lap. Immediately I start to slowly ride him, hands on his shoulders. My head tilted back, eyes closed as I moaned softly.

Dazai just gazed at me, a fond look on his face. The look went away as he looked over at Chuuya, his lips curling up just a bit. "Hey Chuuya..."

"Ugh, what, you bastard?" Chuuya grunted, lifting his head up to look over at us. He watched as Dazai stopped me, squeezing on my ass before he spread my cheeks apart, exposing more of how my pussy swallowed his cock. "Why don't you join us?"

I immediately tense up in his lap, Chuuya's jaw dropping just a bit at the suggestion. He listened to Dazai coo in my ear, hands now rubbing on my back.

"Wouldn't you like two cocks stuffing that pussy, bella?" he hummed, squeezing on my ass again. "Mm, even Chuuya likes that idea, he's hard again."

Chuuya blushed. "Well, who wouldn't be after hearing that?" he scoffed, noticing me looking over my shoulder to look at him, and his cock.

I bit my lip, my mind running at forty thousand miles an hour. The thought of both Dazai and Chuuya stuffing my pussy full of their cock honestly made my heart race, my body shaking as I got so aroused. There was no other answer to be said, and I slowly nodded my head.

A tut. "Words, bella."

"Yes... Yes please. I want you both to fuck me at the same time... I want you to ruin me..."

"Fuck," Chuuya cursed. "You're gonna be the fucking death of me, I hope you know that, dollface."

Dazai laughed, watching Chuuya rummage in the bedside drawer and producing a bottle of lubricant. "Our Chuuya, always so prepared!"

"Oh, shut up, bastard!" Chuuya shouted, climbing back onto my bed and positioning himself behind me. I tensed up again and he huffed, gently kissing on my neck. "You need to relax, dollface. We'll take care of you."

"Hmm," Dazai hummed in agreement, giving me a sweet kiss as Chuuya started to coat his cock with the lubricant. "Relax, it will feel good."

I nodded again, kissing Dazai as a way to distract myself as Chuuya started to rub some extra lube on my pussy. Dazai deepened the kiss, making me moan lightly as I felt Chuuya finally press the head of his cock against my entrance. I took a deep breath, Dazai kissing down on my neck as Chuuya slowly pushed inside of me.

"Fuck..." Chuuya gasped out breathlessly, shuddering deeply as he continued to push in slowly. My head was tilted back, a far away look in my eyes as my mouth hung open. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, so full, so fucking tight and intense. Chuuya pressed his forehead against my shoulder, breathing heavily as he finally bottomed out.

Dazai was just as affected, his eyes glazed over, his bottom lip caught in his teeth as he breathed heavily. "Shit... I could die like this," he whispered. "H-how are you, bella..."

"I..." I stumbled, whimpering when Chuuya shifted just a bit, all three of us hissing as he did so. "Fuck, it feels so good..."

Chuuya was the first to move, slowly pulling himself out before pushing back in. My walls around him, his cock rubbing against Dazai's, it was all too much and Chuuya found him struggling to keep himself in check.

Dazai slowly started to thrust on his own, our breaths coming out strained and haggard as they started to figure out a rhythm to keep. Soon, our moans and grunts sounded about the room, my whines and high pitched squeals ripping from my mouth while they both fucked me so deep, their mouths on any part of my body they can reach.

The headboard thudded against the wall with each thrust, sweat dripping down our bodies. No surprise that tears start to flow down my face, their hands squeezing my body. A hand grabs my face and Chuuya turns my head to kiss me deeply, our tongues swirling around each other as another tongue laps at my nipples.

"Fuck, bella, do you know how fucking beautiful you are," Dazai gasped out against my chest. I only whined, their thrusts becoming a bit more rough, the sounds of skin slapping against skin getting louder, as well as our moans and cries.

"Please... please, it feels so good!" I cried out, tossing my head against Chuuya's head, my hands gripping Dazai's shoulders tightly. "I feel so full..."

"Full of our cocks, huh?" Chuuya groaned. "Fucking you so good... you look so fucking pretty right now, so fucking dirty..."

"Like the whore you are," Dazai continued, smirking.

"Y-your whore..." I mumbled, biting on my lip. "Oh... God... I'm gonna come..."

That only seemed to spur them on, as their thrusts became rougher, their breaths labored as they squeezed my body tight as they fucked me nice and deep. My eyes screwed shut, another cry leaving my lips as the dam finally broke, orgasm tearing through me as my whole body just went rigid, walls convulsing and tightening around them as my vision went white. I just barely registered them cumming inside me when suddenly, my vision went dark.

I was on my back when I suddenly came to and I stared up at the ceiling in confusion, trying to remember what the fuck happened.

"Hey, are you okay?" A gentle finger along my cheek made me jolt and I looked over to find Chuuya lying beside me on the bed, worried look on his face. "You passed out on us."

I was stunned. "I did? For how long?"

"Just a few minutes," Dazai answered, still naked as he walked over to the bed, handing me a bottle of water before climbing into the bed on the other side of me. "Drink that. We're gonna order room service soon."

"I..." I was still stunned, even as I downed half of the bottle of water. "That has never happened before..."

"It was just a bit too intense," Chuuya said, still keeping a gentle hand on me. "Scared the crap out of us."

I frowned. "Sorry..."

Chuuya chuckled softly, kissing my cheek. "Don't be. Somehow, I feel quite smug about this."

I snorted, Dazai just laughing as he shot Chuuya a look.

"Better to make them pass out than to put them to sleep?" he taunted and Chuuya immediately reacted, vein popping on his forehead.

"I have never put anyone to sleep! At least not in the bad way!"

"Yeah, Chuuya is no way boring in bed," you interjected and Dazai whined.

"Bella, I was just having fun!"

I stuck out my tongue at him, Chuuya grumbling in annoyance. He glared at Dazai, scoffing again before he reached over to the nightstand for the room service menu. Chuuya soon made the order for us, and we still lazed around in the bed, honestly not willing to move.

Then a thought came into my head and I groaned. "Fuck. We still have five more days." I slapped my forehead, making the two men burst out laughing.

"Don't think you passing out will stop our plans, dollface," Chuuya teased, kissing my neck and I shied away from him, only to find myself in Dazai's arms as he kissed all over my face.

"This is just a much needed break," he hummed happily, making me roll my eyes. Even if I didn't admit it, I was looking forward to what was next for us, and my poor body.

"Does this place have a hot tub?" I asked and Chuuya nodded.

"They do. And they are private." The implications in his tone made my face get hot and I coughed. They laughed and I just couldn't believe how high of a sex drive they had. Even so, I had no room to talk, considering I was probably no better. And that was okay.

"Can we break for the rest of today?" I then asked them and they shrugged.

"All you have to do is ask," Dazai replied, sending a teasing grin Chuuya's way. "Besides, now I can finally hang with my best bud."

"Oh cut the crap, Dazai," Chuuya growled in response. "As if I'll be friends with a bastard like you."

"Yeah... being friends with someone with horrible shoe taste totally isn't cool. Especially if he wears a stupid hat."

"My hat is not stupid!"

The two continued to argue, their clear dislike for each other making me sigh. I just ignored them, pulling on my robe and getting ready to receive the room service for when it arrives.

Could I survive five more days of...this?

"I'm gonna miss you so much," I whispered as I hugged my best friend tightly, feeling my eyes start to sting. The loud, busy bustle of the airport continued around us, folks from all walks of life coming and going. I pulled back from the hug, giving Keiko a wide, watery smile.

She wiped my tears away, her own tears threatening to fall. "Don't cry, honey. I'll be back before you know it."

As Keiko told me before, she was going away on an extended trip, and will be gone for six months, even longer. She needed to get out of Japan and go to a place where she could heal and find herself again, and Japan was not the place for that.

Just the thought of not having my best friend with me brought fresh tears to my eyes and I hugged her again. Keiko hugged me back just as tightly, the dam finally breaking and tears falling down her beautiful face.

"Thank you so much. For everything," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You saved my life. I will forever be indebted to you."

"No, Keiko," I pulled back again, shaking my head. "You are not. You will not be tied down to someone again, not even me."

Keiko frowned. "But-"

"Just get better," I told her firmly. "Heal. Become a better Keiko. Come back bigger and better than ever. That is how you can repay me." I smiled at her, reaching up to wipe her tears away. Her big eyes shone with tears and emotions, her lips quivering as she cupped my face.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," she said softly. "I love you."

I laughed softly, putting my hand over hers. "I love you too, Keiko. I am just a phone call away and I'll be here whenever you need me."

Keiko smiled wide, still cupping my face and I was surprised when she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss right on my lips. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped as Keiko pulled away, giggling behind her hand.

"What was-"

"I'll be back in a blink of an eye," Keiko said, picking up her carry on bag. "And we're gonna have sooooo much catching up to do, so you better be ready! And please, don't get pregnant."

I gaped at her and Keiko laughed loudly. It made my heart race, that small glimpse of the old Keiko making me even more emotional. She waved at me one last time before turning and walking towards security. I watched as she went through, holding back my tears until she finally disappeared.

I took a deep breath, wiping the tears off my face before I turned to finally make my way out of the airport. I had come alone, just wanting to have this moment alone with Keiko. I didn't like the thought of being alone, but I knew that Keiko needed this more than anything, and I was proud of her for making such a huge decision. Besides, we could always facetime, so it's not like I'll be truly alone.

Getting into the taxi I had flagged down, I reached into my purse to grab my phone, gaping when my one messaging app showed over 100+ notifications. Opening it, I snorted a laugh when I realized it was because of Dazai and Chuuya fighting in the group chat I forced them to join. I sent in a short message before putting my phone away, shaking my head.

Yeah, with those two, I truly wouldn't be alone. I did worry for my sanity though, but that was something I worried about before I even moved to Japan. I took a glance into the rearview mirror of the taxi, not surprised to see in my reflection angry tears going down my face, even though my face was completely dry.

->The End

#chuuya x reader #chuuya smut #dazai x reader #dazai smut #bsd x reader #bsd smut

[is-nini]

Prince! Xiao x royal! reader

You are y/n l/n, the daughter of the l/n family. The daughter of duke f/n and duchess m/n and today is such a surprising day for you.

The huge grand clock was ticking, filling the quiet room of your dining table that was once filled with chatter and cheer. The look on your face is priceless and shocking to say the least after hearing a very very surprising news that has reaches your ear.

"Wh-what?!".

You sputtered. You mom and dad smile's at you proudly but their smile didn't hide the anxiety swirling in their eyes.

"Prince Xiao who will soon becomes a king, has invited you to have a dinner with him, in the letter he stated that you have been chosen to be his future wife, isn't it exiting?!".

Your father stated proudly. You shake your head and furrowed your eyebrows. Prince Xiao.. who will be crowned king next week wanted YOU to be his WIFE?!

"Nuuh-!".

You shake you head no.

"There's no way! That I'm going to his dinner party of whatever".

You stated. Your mom and dad looks at you shockingly and in a instant your mom runs towards your chair where you're seated.

"B-but honey- listen.. we know you had your differences in the past but- he wanted to made up! Won't you see him one time? For us? We cannot reject his invitation- he is going to be KING soon".

You sigh and looks down at you half empty plate. You and Xiao used to be such a close friend... Until one day he grew cold, he pushes you away and said that you shouldn't have meet him.

Although it was 15 years ago, you remembered it like it was yesterday.. the tears of loosing him has stayed with you for years to no end.. and now he suddenly wanted YOU to be his WIFE? Your mom felt your distress and you father felt it too but an order from one of the highest rankings of the kingdom cannot be rejected.

"Please... Y/n.. just meet him.. for dinner. I have a feeling he wanted to tell you something.."

You father gently said, he smiles gently towards you once you made a eye contact with him. Your father's begging and your mother's sad and stressed looks is enough to make you accept the invitation with a sigh.

"Fine... But i won't like it".

You gritted out of your teeth. Your mom and dad cheers at you, you might be mad and sad about the whole ordeal but.. you can't really say no to your mom and dad.. can't you?

The birds are singing and the sun is shining.. the sky seems to be in a good mood sadly you and the sky doesn't seem to have the same mood today.

"You look great sweetheart".

Your father said, squeezing your hand with a huge smile on his face while your mother is smothering you with compliments and praises more than usual.

"Ahhh gosh who knew our little girl would be a pretty elegant woman?!"

She squeal. You giggle and puts a small gentle smile on your face. As much as you hated this day.. at least you'll know that the both of your parent will be happy while you're away.

You kiss the both of their cheek and took a step back. You mom hugs you one last time.

"We know this is hard for you but.. we really do hope you sort out your differences".

You gave them a sad smile.

"We shall see.."

And with that you step inside the carriage and started to make your way to the kingdom... Oh boy.. you do hope that you'll be able to carry on smoothly.. the emotional scar in the past hasn't heal and you're afraid that you'll bleed and lose control.. you quickly shake your head and slap your face gently with both hand.

"You'll be fine! You'll be fine y/n l/n. He will NOT be the cause of you loosing control. Period!"

You look out the window after a couple of hour of ride. The castle is in full view. In a couple of minutes you'll be reaching the castle... Your anxiety is blowing up inside you.. some part of you are happy that you'll get to see him but.. some parts of you are just.. scared.

As you walked out of the carriage, you can feel your legs trembling tremendously. One of your maid ask if you're okay and of course you say yes... Even though you're obviously lying the maid doesn't say anything more. The maid doesn't know what to say, and you cannot blame her.

You took a deep breath and started to Walk towards the humongous door way.

One of the knight opened the huge door and bow down, letting you walk inside the palace. Gosh... It has been 15 years since you last saw the palace.. nothing really change around here accept for the tense aura that you bring upon yourself.

A fellow butler bow Infront of you as you courtesy back to him with a friendly smile on your face.

"We have been expecting your arrival lady y/n, please follow me. The prince has been waiting for your arrival".

Ever since you stepped into the castle, no words are being spoken out from your mouth as if a curse was upon you to not allow you to talk, when in reality you're just nervous and loose your voice. In a couple of second.. you will meet you childhood crush who crushes your heart.. how are you suppose to be calm?!

You and the butler stopped in front of a huge golden coloured door that's decorated with your favourite flower... Interesting.. you are too deep into your headspace that you didn't notice the butler beside you is asking you a question until he clears his throat, making you jump.

"S-sorry"

You said, the butler smile's softly at you and bow down for a while and then he whisper to your ears.

"You'll be fine lady y/n, please relax. Are you ready my lady?"

He ask and then pulled away from you, giving a soft smile towards you. You flash a Sad smile and nodded towards him as he opened the door revealing a beautiful glass room. The walls the glass... Everything is magical.. the place's is filled with your favourite flower, favourite colour and design. Even though the room is absolutely enchanting, you cannot ignore the man in the middle of the room. Sitting on one of the fancy chair with a glass of tea on his lips. He slowly puts down his cup and stare at you with his yellow glowing eye.. that you remember.

You straighten your back and walk towards him as he stands up and walk towards you too. Just as you were about to reach him your gosh darn clumsy leg slip, making you stumble forward lucky you manage to catch yourself before you fall. You quickly take your none existence composure back and looked at Xiao with a huge red across your face.

Xiao saw you stumble and.. oh god of rex lapis.. you just becomes prettier and prettier the more he saw you.. the way you stumble is not elegant but it is cute.. it reminds him of a little... Kitten stumbling.

"Becareful, we would want you to fall".

..... What.. he wanted to slap himself for saying that as he took out the chair for you.

"Y-yes thankyou your highness".

You wanna slap yourself for stuttering UGH why is this so embarrassing?! You sat down slowly on the chair he has pulled out as you watch him goes back to his seat. The table is round and is made out of glass, making Xiao able to see everything in a pretty close proximity since the table is pretty small..

The two of you sat in silence. You are staring at your hand from above the table while Xiao is looking everywhere else but you. The aura here is so tense.. which is understandable but Xiao can sense a rather... Heavy aura coming out of you. Not that he's wrong. The sense of anger and confusion slowly engulfed you and starting to get the best of you.

"Why did you invite me here?"

You spat out, you quickly wanted the earth to swallow you whole but it's too late to go back so you decided to swallow your pain and cringe and started to pull up your head to look at prince Xiao.

Xiao was.. not surprised in the slightest.. he knew you must be mad about the event that took place 15 years ago... But Xiao cannot stand anything anymore.. after he got mature he knows what to do.. he finally has the courage to ask you for a dinner with him.

"To make you my wife".

Xiao respond. Loud and clear. you furrowed your eyebrows, is this all? No explanation? No sorry just a proposal? Is this all really? You tsked and roll your eye. Lady etiquette? Frick that. Throw that away you wanted explanation.

"Just that?"

You spat, staring at Xiao dead in the eye. Xiao realize the mistake he made and sigh quietly trying to fix everything but his pride won't allow him to do so..

"No.."

He trail's off as he prepare his mental.

"I wanted to apologize.. for the event 15 years ago.."

You sigh and without you noticing your shoulder slowly relaxed as you stare at your hand, fiddling with your thumb. A habbit that hasn't left you since you're small.

"I was young and dumb.. at that time".

Xiao looks at your eyes, filled with emotion.. sad and anger emotion swirling inside your pretty e/c coloured eye.

"I was- i was scared.."

He trail's off. You tried to hold your tears the best of your ability. Scared? Of what? What is he scared about to make him wanted to abandon you?

"We were going on a war soon.. and as the future king of this kingdom it's either kill or be killed. At first i realize that maybe it's better if you just.. stay away from me, thinking that it will keep you safe-"

His words was cuts off when he heard a little noises coming from you. He focuses his entire body and mind towards you as he saw tears running down your face. With wide eye he quickly runs towards you and spin you chair, making you spin too. You close your face, not wanting to show Xiao the mess you are right now. Xiao kneel in front of you and hold your shoulder.

"Y/n? I-i'm sorry.. i wanted to make you happy and safe is all! I never wanted to abandon you nor make you cry i just-"

Xiao looks at you sadly and hugs you as you sob to his shoulder, you hugs him back, letting your emotions out. You don't care if your tears stained his suit. You just wanted his warmth. The warmth that you missed for all of this years.

"I just.. wanted you to be safe.. i wanted you to be happy. I thought pushing you away will be better but.. i was wrong. Very wrong. And it was stupid of he to take 15 years to finally realize that i cannot live without you. I'm sorry".

You shake your head no and hug Xiao back.

"N-no I'm sorry! I was- i was stupid! I should've ask you what's wrong! I should've-"

You were about to continue when xiao pulled you away and puts his palm on your cheek while he looks at you deep into your soul through your eye.

"No. You're not stupid. Never say that. You're not wrong... Okay .. stop feeling like you're wrong. Stop blaming yourself".

He whisper. He push his face closer to your face and smile's at you gently and sweetly.

"Shh... It's okay dear.. I'm sorry okay.. can you forgive me?"

You nod your head 'yes' slowly as you tried your best to flash him your warmest smile. Xiao wrapped his arms around your shoulder, hugging you again and tighter.

"Even after all this year's... I still.. i still harbor deep feelings.. towards you.. that's why i ask you to be my fiancee. I can never.. move on. Never. I am aware that asking your hand in Marriage right now is too fast but.. I'm willing to do anything to make you fall for me again.. would you take my attempts to make you fall for me again?"

You giggle and hugs Xiao back, shaking your head while little hiccups is spoiling from your mouth.

"N-no need... Because even until now i still keep my feelings for you and only you Xiaobebe".

You talk while sobbing, giggling and smiling at Xiao. Xiao just giggle alongside you and kiss your lips passionately as you kiss him back. Once you both pull away from eachother to take some air, you decided to crack a joke.

"Gosh... We're so cheesy".

Xiao full on laugh and kissed your temple, and kiss you back.

"Shut up... You ruin the moment my princess".

You giggle against his lips and hugs your hand around his neck.

"Shush. You don't mind"

You reply with a sassy tone. Xiao humn and looks at you dead in the eye.

"So sassy huh? Since when is your lips so spicy?"

He puts his thumb on your mouth and stroke your mouth slowly with his thumb.

"Let's see how long can you keep up the sassy act princess".

He nibble on your neck, making a rawr noise and then pull you up princess style from your seat. He opened the door and started to bring you through the hallway and making his way to his bedroom.

Unknowingly the both of you, Xiao's butler and your maid was listening to your every conversation with a wide smile on their face.

"Such a wonderful relationship~".

Your maid said with a fake tears running down her face. The butler just smiled and walked away from the place they were eavesdropping.

"Let's go, we have a wedding to plan people!"

The butler shout's as the maid and servants around him cheer. You have always bring the colour to the cold hearted Prince's heart everyone ships the both of you and now your presence will bring warmth to the whole kingdom and the future king's heart while filling the newspaper with amazing news.

Taglist: @laic2299 @inlustris-is-slowly-dying @dreaminselfinserts

#genshin fanfiction #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #xiao x y/n #xiao x you #xiao x reader #genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao

[seokahwrites]

NUISANCE | chapter 2 (or, i hate him so much my heart skipped a beat)

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pairing.

| lawyer! jeon jungkook x lawyer! reader

summary.

| all you wished for was a relaxing two weeks in a big ass boat eating some big ass shrimps, away from the real world. but instead you’re stuck with your arch rival with no means of escape — and goddamit why does the bastard smell so good.

tags.

| 2 BROOKLYN 99 REFERENCES TELL ME IF U CATCH THEM; paragraphs dedicated to jungkooks back muscles; im so sorry like a few parts were really thirsty; but there’s a very sweet paragraph dedicated to jungkook’s smile; reader and jungkook bonding???; jealous reader; smug jungkook; love sounds like hate; a lot of plot convenience if you haven’t noticed

a/n.

| hello everyone! first off THANK U FOR THE MASSIVE SUPPORT ILY. i feel like this could’ve been better but i’m not sure how. but no they’re not moving too fast bc… well 😃😃 also i’m planning on writing more serious pieces after this series even though i’ve barely started :P anyways, i hope u all have an amazing day lots of love

“What kind of neanderthal doesn’t go outside for two days?

Jungkook asks through the open bathroom door as he’s sitting on his couch, your mouth still too foamy and minty to give him a quick-witted answer.

You spit into the sink and glare at him through the mirror, “I was being productive and I cooked horrible food all day,” you splash water on your face and pause at the door frame on your way out, “Unlike some people that spend their hours hunting for their next prey.”

You don’t stick around to watch the way he rolls his eyes, walking over to your bed to grab the orange wrap skirt and white top for today’s outfit. But you couldn’t really put it on since someone was still in the room.

There isn’t an inkling of a thought in Jungkook’s doe eyes, the time it was taking for him to get a hint was more than enough for you to pass your eyes over his black tank top, stinky green shorts and dark sandals. How did he look better than you in a tank top? Fuck him. Wait, no he doesn’t. Still, fuck Jungkook.

Once your eyes are back on him, the fiend has a shit-eating grin on his face as if he’d just caught you red-handed in the middle of a dirty sin — you were just judging him.

You raise your eyebrows in an attempt to maintain your composure, “Well?” And wave the clothes in your hands to help him understand the situation.

No sound comes from the ‘Oh’ of his lips, his small brain finally coming to terms with reality. But just before he heads out the door, “We’re having lunch at the deck,” and he doesn’t wait for an answer, slamming the door behind him.

Who the hell did he think he was?

Now, you didn't have to go along with Jungkook’s plan — hell, it was probably the last thing you wanted. However, does going to the rooftop deck to have a nice lunch and a-little-too-early drinks really sound like a bad idea?

And the answer to that question is what led you to pulling your clothes over your head and reassuring nobody but yourself that, “I’m only going because of the fucking food,” cursing Jungkook here and there too, of course.

Just before heading off, you grab the cruise’s complementary sun hat, a long string of pastel beads for your neck and your favorite pair of sunglasses — not that you were going to use them for more than keeping your hair away from your face anyways.

Breathe in, Y/N.

You’re out the door, “I’m ready.”

Your exposed skin stings as you feel Jungkook’s eyes go from your leg exposed from the slit of your skirt, to your fluttering stomach and slowly — as if he didn’t want to miss a single detail — up, up, up, until his gaze meets yours. And that look is back, the one he’s only ever used whenever he couldn’t hide what he truly felt for you: aversion.

Yet, instead of the slander you were expecting, Jungkook does nothing but shake away whatever was on his mind and lock the door. Beep, And he goes the entire way to the elevator without uttering a single word.

Still, even if the silence was deafening you don't make much of a fuss, only observing Jungkook’s silent figure as he stared ahead and around anywhere he wouldn't have to meet your eyes.

He was a pain in the ass even when he wasn't speaking.

Ding.

You’re the first to exit, part because you were excited to get a breath of fresh ocean air and part because you couldn’t stand whatever the hell was happening in the elevator.

There were half naked people everywhere, kids running around and chasing after each other through the zig zag of chairs and tables. From the wooden floor to the samples of blue and yellow on the umbrellas, cups and slides, the view was the very core of vacation.

Jungkook suddenly stands before your wide eyes and takes you by the wrist, taking the lead as he shoves his way to the stairs that lead to the highly-expected rooftop restaurant, the place safely guarded on the opposite side of all the commotion.

As your sandals flip-flopped against the wooden stairs, you start to see a flood of blue and beige chaise lounges, white coffee tables centered in the space of each one and the alabaster bar surrounded by people in all sorts of summer attire. Maybe Jungkook was onto something.

Speaking of, he grabs your shoulders — ruining the view as always — and pushes you down the first empty couch he finds. “Stay here, I’ll get us some food.”

You don't fight him on it, deciding to just let the sea breeze caress your face, closing your eyes and taking it all in. Things were nice.

That is until you look at the entrance and see Jungkook talking to the same raven-haired girl from yesterday. The sight bothers you and you can’t quite put your finger on as to why, perhaps it was because he could’ve at least had the fucking decency to not hit on people while he was ordering your food. God. Only he could put a stain to an otherwise perfect morning.

And you could’ve looked away, but just as a bee is attracted to pollen or a driver is allured with the sight of a car crash, you simply couldn’t — not that you were attracted or allured to Jungkook in any way, though.

The woman’s cotton cover up flowed with her hand as she playfully hit Jungkook on the arm. You envy her, you’d never touched an implant before. Jungkook crosses his arms at this movement, probably thinking his biceps were going to pop out even more. Your body threatens to convulse in second hand embarrassment.

But the lovebirds are interrupted when the cashier calls out for Jungkook, his order ready and trayed up. You look away and could only hope it was just in time for none of them to notice that you were ogling, but Jungkook’s mystery girl catches your stare and her angelic smile dissipates in front of your eyes. Chills, literal chills.

You feign surprise when Jungkook sits beside you, placing the tray of colorful drinks and drool-worthy pasta on the table with a clang.

“I hope the mimosas are a good enough treat for your highness,” he bows his head.

You can’t repress your squeal nor your smile as the glass meets your lips and you have a real summer drink for the first time in forever, the girl’s glare fading with every sip you take. Jungkook simply watches, amused when you down half of the drink in one go.

You’re content, only with a simple worry in your mind. “What time is it?”

Luckily Jungkook had brought a watch on his wrist, your phones long forgotten on the nightstand, “One something,” he grabbed both plates, handing over yours, “Why? Gotta run away from me again?”

You try to scoop as much chicken, sauce and pasta as you can twirl on your fork, practically salivating once you're munching down the food. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

Jungkook crosses a leg over the other as he eats the chicken from his own plate, “What are you up to today?”

Huh. You asked yourself the same thing. “I actually have no idea,” you admit, “I just saw the words massage and wine and thought ‘I have to go’.”

“Of course,” and he doesn’t sound the least bit surprised — or judgemental, at that. “You did the same exact thing at the last firm getaway.”

Your hand flies to your mouth, “Oh, God. Why would you remind me,” Jungkook is slapping his knee at a miserable attempt of stifling his laughter, “Nothing will ever compare to the misery of being surrounded by a bunch of sobbing tipsy widows.”

His laugh only booms alive and you try to convince yourself that it scratches your ears, but it doesn’t and you find yourself giggling as well. What the hell was in that mimosa?

“God, youre such a fucking idiot.”

“Lower your voice, boozer,” you slap his thigh — hurting you much more than him — and catch a few glares in your direction.

Jungkook drinks his entire glass, “Eh, screw them,” not sparing a second thought to the strangers, “Are you heading to the fifth floor again?”

The alfredo pasta in your plate has been reduced to nothing, “Yeah, why?”

“I’m heading that way too.”

You snort — you know, like a wild boar. “Gonna meet up with yesterday’s catch?”

He has a conceited smile on his face and you fear the next words to come out his mouth, “Maybe,” he places his plate on his lap and leans closer to you, his breath tickling your ear, “Jealous much?”

Scoff.

You push him away, drinking the rest of your orange juice. Scoff (again). You’ve never met someone so egotistical. How dare he?

“Don’t act like being seduced by an incubus like you is such a big deal,” you hope to poison him with your words but he only bites down a sweet smile, “And it’s not like she’s seen anything that I haven’t in the past two nights.”

Goddammit, Y/N. Where the fuck did that come from?

Jungkook drapes an arm over the couch, “Someone’s been enjoying the view.”

You try your best to scowl at the demon, but when your eyes accidentally tarry on Jungkook’s collarbones and arms — why is it always the fucking arms? — for a few moments too long, red paints your cheeks instead and you simply fiddle with your empty glass.

Jungkook’s victory weighs heavy on the lifted corners of his lips as you wait for him to finish the rest of his food — he ate like a five year old.

“This is where I leave you, I guess.”

The walk to the fifth floor was a quick one, you and Jungkook standing in front of the familiar entrance, that same chalkboard from yesterday scribbled with roses this time.

A woman is the one welcoming you at the door today, the same list and my-boss-forced-me-to smile on her face, just like yesterday’s guy.

“Ms. L/N,” she calls out as you and Jungkook come closer, “You must be the last couple to join us today!”

She manages to sneak her way behind you, pushing both of you into the dim room before her words could even reach your eardrums. Did she say couple?

Jungkook attempts to correct her, “I’m just here to drop her off—,” to no avail.

The woman has a menacing smile and look to her eyes that shuts the both of you right up, “The first activity was just about to start,” she rushes to the exit and shuts the door, but not before a friendly, “Have fun!”

Was this cruise actually full of psychos?

You and Jungkook are frozen in place, only noticing the handful of couples sitting on the floor, the petals spread across the room and romantic candles sticking out the walls, a moment too late.

“Welcome! Welcome!” An elderly woman approaches you, her short hair wrapped in a pink bandana, the boho print matching the rest of her clothes and chunky jewelry, “I’m Hattie, your instructor. Why don’t you two sit down so we can start?”

Though you're both in shock, none of you attempt to make an escape, taking quick but hesitant steps to the last empty space in the back. A flustered Jungkook is the first to talk once you’re sat down, “What the fuck, Y/N?”

Hattie seemed to have been saying something when Jungkook whispered a tad too loud, both of you putting on a smile when she looked. “I have no idea what’s happening either,” you grit through your teeth,

Once she looks away, you and Jungkook take a breather.

“I legit didn't see anything about onboard couple’s therapy, I was really tired,” you rub between your brows, “You can go, Jungkook,” your head gestures to the sealed exit, “I can take the embarrassment. Plus, that’s kind of the whole point.

“But that guard lady locked us in here,” his fading hope is visible in the way he buries his head in his hands, seemingly forgetting who he was with when he asks, “Am I really stuck here with Y/N?”

Are you fucking kidding me. You can’t believe you were empathetic with the monster for even a second. “Don’t be over dramatic, it’s only until six.”

His shock takes over his hands and the volume of his voice when he hits his legs, “WE’RE GOING TO BE HERE FOR FOUR HOURS?”

The murmurs and whatever that instructor was saying, are quickly silenced.

“We’re sorry,” you apologise on his behalf as he struggles with reality, “Please, continue.”

She coughs and puts back that old lady smile of hers, clasping her hands together, “As I was saying, we have three tasks ahead of us,” she puts up a finger for each one she lists, “A loving touch, a loving conversation and a loving drink.”

Her voice is drowned out by your dread, your eyes glancing at the couples holding hands and touching, whispering what were surely forbidden secrets into each other’s ears, the candle wax melting and falling in a picturesque way and how the music was crispy to the ears. It was all so… romantic.

And then there were you two idiots that stuck out amidst the crowd, both awkward yet number one is redder than the roses and number two was sweating like a hog. I’ll let you decide which is which.

Hattie’s words are what bring you back to the present, “For us to loosen up, we will begin with the loving touch session,” please say massage, “Each couple should head up to their respective massage rooms.”

At last, the sun is found in the storm.

You follow with an excited sway when Hattie finally comes to bring you to your room. She closes the door behind her with an, “Enjoy!”

A masseur is waiting on the opposite side of the massage bed with welcome arms, “Good afternoon, Mr. and Ms. L/N.”

Jungkook raises his hand, “I’m actually Jeon, she’s the only—.”

“My mistake, Mr. and Ms. Jeon,” Goddamit, Jungkook can’t you say anything helpful for once? “Which one of you will be massaged first?”

You practically leap to grab the robe in his hand before Jungkook could steal the chance, pointing to the jade door, “Is this the changing room?.”

The man nods, a little taken aback from your excitement.

You're out of your clothes and in the backwards robe in the blink of an eye, laid down on the bed in less than a minute, your head now resting on the top of your crossed arms.

“So, Mr. Jeon,” you feel a cold oil drizzle over your back, experienced hands spreading it across your back, “You’ll be placing your hands—,” wait, where did they go, “— right here.”

And just like that Jeon Jungkook’s hands were on your bare back, the concept of a loving touch finally flickering in your mind. His hands were a little more rough and shakier than you would’ve imagined.

Why was that going through your mind?

You should’ve been wishing death on him, yourself and everybody else in the boat, shouldn’t you?

“A loving touch is all about, not only a physical connection but really feeling your partner’s body, go ahead.”

Jungkook, being the pet he was, followed his orders and he did it a little too well, he slowly moved his hands from the knots on your shoulders to the very low of your back and you’d be lying to yourself if you said it felt horrible.

“It’s connecting on a whole new physical level with the other,” Jungkook’s hands travel to the dimples of your spine and linger for a moment too long, but they quickly come back up and focus on the crevices of your neck instead, each movement seemingly aiming for all of your stiff muscles.

Not too bad at all.

The masseur’s philosophical rant about touch and love is completely ignored, your mind hyper focused on every inch of skin Jungkook set his fingers on, his hands sailing further down the sides of your body, the extra attention he pays to your waist not unnoticed.

“Fuck.”

Indeed.

Oh, God. What did you just say?

No, no, no.

Perhaps it was just low enough for nobody to hear it—

“I guess that means you should switch now,” the masseur chuckles with a cringed tone.

It was not.

You prop yourself up and look at Jungkook who you could only hope wasn’t laughing at you, your eyes glassy and pleading for something unclear.

And the bastard was snickering, looking in no direction in particular with a blush to his cheeks and a mocking, lip-biting chuckle on his face.

Once you’re up and standing, it quickly dawns on you that it’s Jungkook's turn. Meaning you had to touch Jungkook and massage Jungkook and touch Jungkook.

The world did hate you.

Jungkook realises he was taking too long and mutters a quick, “Uh,” before pulling his top over his head and you shut your eyes — weren’t you Ms. Jeon, though?

The masseur has to call out your name for you to open them back up again, Jungkook laid on the bed with his head on top of his arms.

“I suppose you know what to do, Miss,” the man smiles.

“Yeah, Y/N,” he exhaled and you can hear his smug, “You know what to do.”

The square footage of Jungkook’s back intimidated you the tiniest bit now that it was splayed out before you, you must admit. Still, you place gentle hands on his back and you’ve confirmed once and for all that those bumps were indeed not from a disease but muscles. Rock hard muscles.

You don’t even remember you had to repay him the favor of embarrassing you — because yes, it was his fault — as you get lost in every dip and fold of his skin, your fingers moving on pure intuition.

The curve of his back, the ridges of his shoulders and the little jolts on the surface of his skin, you could feel all of it.

A hand to your wrist jolts you awake, Jungkook stirring with a glaze to his eyes as you both look up at the masseur, “It’s time for your next activity, Miss.”

Oh, God. What just happened?

You cough and don’t bother to excuse yourself as you leave the room, Jungkook grabbing your forgotten clothes and putting on his robe as he follows behind you.

You try to shake away the burning that creeps it’s way to your fingertips and cheeks as you sit back down on the floor. But it doesn’t work, your sweaty palms joining the party instead. Great. Just great.

Hattie’s voice saves the day, “I hope we’re all relaxed and ready to converse with our partners,” not at all, “If you could all just face each other, cross your legs and hold hands. This intimacy is important when facing important feelings and questions with your partner.”

As if Jungkook slathering oil on you like you were a nice roast chicken wasn't enough, now you had to hold hands with him. Is death still an option?

You’re facing each other, Jungkook’s palms up, “Shall we?”

Uneasiness settles in your stomach, a feeling you’ve never felt with Jungkook before. Sure, you’ve felt judged or uncomfortable but never truly uneasy. Maybe it was just your body reacting to the physical trauma you had to endure.

You nod.

“You know,” Jungkook seems to still be waking up, “You’re not too bad with your hands,” and he laughs.

But it’s a welcome sound that unbundles your nerves in the most peculiar way, your own smile coming back. “You’re not shabby either.”

“I could tell—.”

“I suppose you honeymooners didn’t hear my explanation,” None of you bother to correct her anymore as she places a deck of cards between you, “But all you need to do is pick a card in turn and answer the question. Don’t forget to look into each other’s eyes,” she winks and stands up, making her way to the front of the crowd.

“I guess this is when we start asking each other the questions,” the cringe in your tone is all that rasps your ears as you hold hands… with Jungkook.

“Go ahead,” his head points to the pile of cards in front of you but his eyes only look at Hattie and the way she seemed to ignore every other couple in the room except the both of you.

You breathe in as deep as you can, your hand grabbing the first question, your uncontrollable blush heating up tenfold when you realise this was probably even more intimate than the event-that-shall-not-be-named that occurred in the massage room.

Your mouth stumbles before properly saying, “How long have you been together?”

But Jungkook doesn’t seem as embarrassed as you, the same tint painted on his cheeks but he manages to laugh all the same, your chuckles joining his.

“I’d say about two years?”

Sly bastard. “I’d say two years too.”

He’s the next to grab a card, placing both of your hands on his left one before reaching.

“This is a great one,” he snorts, putting on a serious face when he replaces the card with your hand, “Are there any issues you’d like to bring up?”

You throw your head back just like the exorcist girl, and cackle— were you okay?. “Well, where should I start?”

This was actually kind of fun.

“Okay, but let’s be real for a moment,” he lightly squeezes your hands, “What is your issue with me?”

Or, maybe not.

“Well,” you curse at the old woman for putting you this close, your eyes left with close to no space to avoid Jungkook’s, “There’s just this way you look at me.”

Your gaze is back on the confused boy, the furrow between his brows strong enough to be considered a wifi connection. “What are you talking about?”

“Like—,” you try to come up with some way to explain, “—The first time we met, right? It’s like, you just go silent for a few seconds and literally look through my soul. It makes me feel like I murdered your entire family.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew wide with every word you spouted, the flush on his cheeks practically steaming from his skin.

Did he seriously not know? Oh, well.

“I’m just gonna go ahead and grab the next one,” you say to the top of Jungkook’s head since his face was pointed to his lap.

“Oh, God,” you squeeze Jungkook’s hands with a little more force than necessary, but at least it makes him look up, “You ready?”

Nod.

“What do you love most about your partner?”

Now that was a real couples’ therapy question. Great job, Hattie.

“I think you should answer this one,” you seem to state the obvious, “Since I was the only person to answer the last question.”

Jungkook’s shoulders fall from their perfect posture, “Fine.”

His eyes have that same glint you mentioned before as he scans you up and down. Was that the fifth time today? New record, guys.

“I guess,” he purses his lips with a slight smile, “She always knows how to make a moment memorable. Oh?

Your palms were sweating once again and you wouldn’t have taken note of it if you weren’t holding Jungkook’s goddamn hands at the moment. Why you of all people?

“Coming of a little strong, partner,” the nervousness in your giggly tone ever the obvious thing.

A small smile, “What about you?”

Oh, right. You needed to answer.

It wasn’t like you were an actual couple, “Uh—,” but why is the air between you so thick?

You struggle to find an answer and decide to go with the first thing that pops in your mind,“Well,” Shut up, Y/N, “He always manages to sneak his way in my thoughts.”

Why didn’t you shut up?

However, at this Jungkook smiles, but it isn’t the taut one you’ve seen hundreds of times before, no. Jungkook’s entire face scrunches up and the moons under his eyes seem to have constellations that creased outwards; the way his nose rumpled, his cheeks puffed up and his front teeth steamed the spotlight. Jungkook wasn’t smiling, the boy in front of you was beaming.

And he was beaming at you.

“Next one?” He asks, his face still shining.

You can’t even move at the sight.

Shuffle. “What is your favorite memory with your partner?” He puts it down, “I have like three answers for this one.”

The lightness is back in an instant and you keep that picture of Jungkook on the back of your mind, “You do?”

“Yup,” he pops the P, “First, at the last Christmas party, I go to take a piss at the men’s bathroom, as one does.”

“Please, don’t say it,” you groan and you can’t even hide your face because Hattie would probably slap your hands into Jungkook‘s.

“But, wait,” he feigns shock, “I hear someone gagging in a stall, more specifically a woman. And who else could it have been but the Y/N L/N.”

The almost forgotten memory of you retching your heart out in a smelly toilet and a suited Jungkook carrying you back to Seokjin comes back, and though it’s fuzzy and the mere thought of it is dreadful, Jungkook’s laugh is contagious, even to you now.

“Ah, I never thanked you for that.”

“You don’t need to—.”

“I didn’t finish,” you look at him disillusioned, “And I shouldn’t, because Mother Jin rubbed it in my face the rest of the night about how I was the boss and he was the lousy, underpaid assistant.”

“Classic Jin,” he chuckled. “Okay, second of all, when you threw a coke at my face two seconds after meeting me.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny, Jungkook,” your voice is dry, “But to my defense—.”

“I looked at you weird, totally a justifiable course of action,” he raises his brow, “What about you?”

“What about me?,” Your confusion is cleared up when you’re reminded that you were simply playing a silly card game, “I would have to say… Watching your boss throw a drink at your face after you asked her to make you a partner in the firm.”

Jungkook seems to have buried the memory, “What is it with you people throwing liquids at me?”

You put a thoughtful hand to your chin, “You just have a very drink throwable face.”

He’s quick to snatch your hand back into his and it doesn’t even ring in your mind, “Another one.”

Groan. “Fine, uhm—,” you purse your lips, “Honestly? Maybe, right after that when you were on the sidewalk crying and piss-drunk and you just kind of talked to me.”

Jungkook’s surprised expression has a genuinity to it, “Oh, no. What did I say?”

You shake your head as if to say ‘Nothing’, “You were just going on about how hard you’ve been working and you couldn’t even go out with your friends and you didn’t look at me in the eye even once,” you’re staring into the empty space, “You just said ‘this was a nice dream but I have to wake up now’ and blacked out.”

Your giggle is akin to a little schoolgirl’s and you look backat Jungkook, the night sky in his smile back once again. Hm. Cu—

Hattie claps and the noise bounces you back from your trance. You whip your hands out of Jungkook's hold, afraid they were going to end up drenched from your heart palpitations — Seriously, why was it so hot in the middle of the ocean?

You avoid Jungkook’s searching eyes to the best of your abilities. This could only be a fever.

“We seem to have reached the end of our loving session,” the biggest smile on her face, she can’t wait to get rid of us, “Each couple’s loving drink is awaiting at the exit. The robes are complementary, please do not forget your possessions and stay in love!” Thank God.

You’re on your feet in no time, practically jogging to the exit when Hattie suddenly grabs hold of you, making Jungkook stop in his tracks.

“You two kept on interrupting my class,” she narrowed her eyes but there’s a nicety to her, “But I let it slide, it’s not like I haven’t dealt with worse. Plus, you two have something special that most of the other couples in this room didn’t have.”

A woman scoffs at Hattie’s words when she passes by with her own wife.

Your lack of response is filled with Jungkook’s curious words, “And what is that?”

She leans in a little closer, “Shine,” she whispers this time, “A shine to your eyes and a shine to the way you dance around each other, it’s envying.”

The shine she was referring to was surely the dislike you had for each other. Surely.

You were so sure that you wouldn't stick around for another crazy word of hers and you go back to your almost-running pace to the elevator, not looking back to check if Jungkook had followed behind you.

Why were you so embarassed?

You reach your room in no time and hide yourself beneath the sheets. For a few moments you don’t move, as if you were waiting for something, or someone, to come knocking at the door; and when no one does, your chest weighs a little heavier as if you were disappointed.

“Are you telling me that Jungkook made you moan?” Jin’s voice shrill through the speakerphone, your knees to your chest as you sat at the balcony.

“That’s besides the point, Jin,” you groan, “But, yes.”

He hisses through his teeth, just like the snake he is, “Yeah, there’s no coming back from that.”

“Please,” you’re begging at this point, “Help me.”

“I don’t know what to say Y/N. The symptoms you described don’t sound like the flu, it sounds like raging thirsty hormones.”

Beep, you hear through the glass doors, making you turn, “You’re the worst,” the handle was rotating, “I gotta go, Jin. Love you, bye,” you whisper into the microphone as you grab the phone and make your way into the room for who knows what reason.

And there you were, like a fucking idiot, standing in the middle of the room when Jungkook walks in, scratching the back of his neck when you lock eyes.

“Hey.”

You bite your lip, “Hey.”

The air weighs down with words that wanted to be said and the uncertainty of what they meant, and nobody says anything as you fidget with your skirt Jungkook makes his way to his pile of clothes.

You watch as he digs his way and he seems to be looking for something.

Does he need help—

“Fucking hell, Y/N?”

Excuse me?

You come closer to his little circus act with your hands behind your back, “What?”

Jungkook stands up and you can feel his breath on the tip of your nose, “Where’s my shirt?”

Now, you were truly baffled.

“What shirt?”

He goes to the bathroom and continues his search for said shirt, “My hawaiian shirt,” his voice echoes, “It’s pink, it looks exactly like yours.”

Wow. And he picked on you for that on your very first night together. Wow.

“Why would I steal it?” You start searching through the pile of clothes on the chair, sure to find something.

“I didn’t say you stole it,” Jungkook is striding towards you, “You could’ve just gotten them mixed—.”

His sentence never finds an end when you stand up and turn at the very same moment he comes behind you, your bodies clashing and falling to the floor with a bang. Jungkook is on top of you, the only thing stopping your faces from touching being his upend arm, you don’t even notice your hand was holding onto it until you feel something flex beneath your fingertips.

Could this day get any better?

It takes a few moments for any of you to move, but when you do it’s up and rushing, both of you dusting off your clothes as if there was anything to dust off and staring intently at the ground.

“Uhm—,” Jungkook is the first to break the silence as he grabs something from behind you, “Found it.”

And you both wait for someone to say something else, still no one does and Jungkook puts the shirt back in the pile, walking towards the door.

But just before he could take those final steps, you grab him by the wrist and breathe out. You hated this.

“Look, Jungkook,” he does, “I’m really sorry for running off, I just felt really weird, you know?”

He early waits for you to continue.

“It’s just—,” you let go of him, your fingertips burning from the touch, “—today was a lot. I think we’ve never had real, sober time together that lasted for more than an hour and there was so much touching and talking,” you find yourself rambling, “It was just, really overwhelming because we’re not that close, “So, let’s just go back to insulting each other every two seconds and have a good dinner?”

He seemed to be expecting more, but if he was he doesn’t say a word about it and puts on a happy façade, “Only if you promise to not moan in the middle of our meal.”

Your expression falls flat. “You know what, forget it—.”

“Fine, fine,” he puts his hands up in defeat and unlocks the door, “They’re serving sushi tonight,” he doesn’t wait for you as he heads to the elevator, “So hurry up, dumbass.”

You smile, tucking your hair behind your ears.

Dumbass.

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