#was it ever explained somewhere that I’ve forgotten?

[dontjudgemethatsgodsjob]

As a kid I always associated Liu with scarecrows for some reason. Not the least fitting comparison at least

#liu woods #homicidal liu #creepypasta #panzart #digital art #desperately trying to remember how to draw again #this ain’t bad tho #always wondered why the stitches got left in tho #like did he escape from the hospital early or? #was it ever explained somewhere that I’ve forgotten? #anyway that’s what im choosing to believe #hence the still growing in hair

[imtryingbuck]

Twenty Five

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 3,014

Warnings: fluff, angst, heavy use of pet names, smut but no smut – you know?. swearing

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

“…I mean I’m in love with you, I’ve known since I was fourteen”

“I’m in love with you too James”

~~~

After being released from the hospital a few days after waking up the boys all but forced her to live with them until she found somewhere else, somewhere where she felt safe.

Brock had gone to prison for the attack done to Y/n and some other things he had done that had finally caught up to him.

Not that Y/n paid any attention to that.

As the months passed turning into years after that night in the hospital bed where she and Bucky had confessed their love for one another things had changed between them. And not necessarily for the better.

No they became distant despite Y/n living in the same apartment with him. Their conversations were short and curt, whenever one walked into the room the other walked out with a nod.

Nobody knew what happened, nobody understood why the two who had regained their friendship and became joined at the hip like they were when they were younger had now become distant.

Sam walked in the apartment after finishing work sighing deeply when he saw Bucky sat on the couch with some random woman on his lap kissing, her shirt on the floor. “Buck seriously?”

“What?”

“You’ve got a room for that and plus Y/n will be up in second” just as he finished his sentence Y/n walked behind him.

“Sammy move I’m dying for a wee”

At hearing her voice he knocked the girl whose name he had completely had forgotten off his lap, when she cried out Y/n looked around Sam’s body.

“Oh, hi”

The girl looked at Bucky then at Y/n rolling her eyes she picked up her shirt putting it back on “you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend James”

He didn’t answer the girl he just stood there staring at Y/n, her eyes were casted down. He felt guilty for some reason.

“Fuck you James” the girl huffed and stomped out of the apartment making sure she knocked her shoulder into Y/n’s.

“Ow, rude. Sam can you move please, still need a wee”

“Yeah yeah sorry” Waiting until Y/n shut the bathroom door behind her Sam’s eyes not moving away from Bucky.

“I know alright I know I’ve fucked up”

“Ever since she’s been back from her trip you’ve not brought a girl home always going to theirs so why now?”

“I don’t know”

“Bullshit you knew me and her were coming home together” Ever since Y/n had gotten Sam his new job at her workplace Sam was taking them both to work and though Sam always finished a little earlier he always waited for her so they could come home together. “Ever since she came here from the hospital you’ve both been acting strange around each other so what gives?”

“I-I told her I loved her” Bucky admitted quietly.

“That’s great-wait didn’t she say it back?”

“No Sam I told her I was in love with her”

“I got that like I said did she not say it back?”

“She did…”

“So what’s the problem then?”

“I don’t know”

“You two need to sort yourselves out, I’m serious Buck or it’s going to be too late and you’ll lose her for good.”

The thought of losing his Bunny for good terrified him, his father had to pin him down on the ground when Bucky was told that Y/n had left for boarding school. For months he keep begging and begging Howard and Maria to let him see her but each time with fruitless.

He knew in his heart, his soul and mind that he was in love with Y/n more than anything in this world. She was the first thing he thought of when he woke, the last thing on his mind as he fell asleep. Y/n was there for him just as much as he was for her, she helped him more than she ever and would ever know, in ways he could never explain. To him loving Y/n was nothing he ever had to think about to him it was as easy as breathing. Falling in love with his Bunny came so natural to him, when he dated Dot he did love her but it felt forced, unnatural.

Being with Dot and all the unnamed girls after always had Bucky pretending he was something that he wasn’t, his laugh was fake, his smile was forced, he was made to feel stupid whenever he said quotes either from films or books. But with his Y/n his laugh was always real and loud, his smile would be big enough to cause his cheeks to start aching and whenever he said quotes his Y/n always understood them, always there laughing along when he did his impressions and voices. Always there looking at him like he hung the stars in the dark sky as they camped in the backyard. Never once judged him when he cried, matter of a fact she would pull him into her arms and cry with him.

No one knew other than him that late at night he replayed their first encounter, over and over every night without fail. Maybe it was at seven years old Bucky had fell in love with Y/n, as he couldn’t remember or try and pinpoint the exact moment he had fall for his untameable curly haired best friend.

Bucky didn’t think much about marriage or having children and growing old, of course not he was young and good looking – he had other things to worry about such as not calling the girl he had under him the wrong name, he did that once and ended up with a black eye, Carly got him good-wait was it Carla? But whenever he was asked by his grandmother when he was going to get married he always thought ‘Whenever Bunny wants to’ or when his grandmother then would ask when he was going to give her great-grandbabies and once again his thoughts where ‘Whenever Bunny’s ready’.

His thoughts about his future always circled back to Y/n. Married – to Y/n. Having children – Y/n’s the mum. Growing old – right by Y/n’s side. Hell he knew he would be taking his last breath right next to her and there was nothing to change his mind and no one to change the future he had planned for himself.

Bucky had to second guess a lot in his life, but he never needed to second guess his love for Y/n.

Y/n’s voice brought him back to the present as she spoke from the kitchen asking him, Sam and Steve what they wanted for dinner, he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even register Steve coming home from work.

“Bunny go on a date with me on Saturday, please” He blurted out facing his love.

“W-what?”

“Go on a date with me?”

“Me?”

“No my other Bunny, of course you”

“But you literally had a girl on your lap not even thirty minutes ago…”

“I know and that was because I’m a scum bag but baby its always been you that I’ve always wanted, so…date…Saturday?”

Looking at Sam and Steve who both stand there with huge smiles on their faces, the blonde nodding encouragingly she looked back to her Ducky not believing it was really happening, she had been wishing that those words would come out of his mouth, even more since they confessed their love to each other. When he started being distant with her she thought that she heard wrong, that he never actually proclaimed his love for her but she had him and since he didn’t feel the same way he thought it was better to put distance between them both.

But standing in the middle of the kitchen her hand still on the freezer door she didn’t know what to think.

“Bun?”

“Saturday. Okay” she smiled, Bucky released a breath he wasn’t sure how long he had been holding in.

“Saturday” he echo’s.

It was finally Saturday and to say Y/n was nervous was the understatement of the century. Pacing a hole nearly on Sam’s bedroom floor she kept muttering to herself under her breath when a knock came from the door it startled her.

“Sunshine it’s me…Sam, can I come in?”

“Okay”

“Are you naked?”

“Yes and that’s why I said-“

“You’re a liar. You’re not naked.” Sam grumbled then smiling cheekily when Y/n rolls her eyes. “What’s up? And don’t say nothing because me and Steve can hear you stomping around like you’re in a marching band”

“I’m scared…”

“Of what?”

“The date, what if something goes wrong? What if Bucky realises that he doesn’t love me and he leaves me alone? Is he taking me to a restaurant? What do I order? How do I sit? Oh my God I-I-I forgot how to sit!”

Normally Sam loves it when she rambles on but seeing the tears in her eyes he wastes no time in crossing the room and pulling her into his arms.

“Sunny firstly nothing is going to go wrong, I promise you. Buck won’t realise that, babycakes he’s madly in love with you even a blind person can see that and you know for a fact that Buck will never leave you alone. I can’t say where he’s taking you but it’s going to be okay and I assure you that you will love it. And you haven’t forgotten how to sit numpty”

“B-b-but Sammy-“

“No buts Sunny, it’s going to be perfect and you’re going to have a wonderful time and you’ll come back here and tell me all about it, okay”

“Okay”

“Now show me what you’re going to be wearing, come on Sunshine don’t leave me hanging”

Pointing at his bed Sam sees the outfit. A black vest top, a nice black flowy skirt that he knew had a split down the side of the right side. The cardigan was long and dark green, flower patterns on the sleeves.

“I-I was thinking about wearing my dark green doc martens?”

“It sounds perfect, go and get changed before Buck comes back” Sam shoos her off into the bathroom.

Just less than ten minutes later Y/n re-enters the bedroom feeling slightly less nervous for her date. Sam whistled, spinning his finger around in the air signalling for her to spin around for him.

“Beautiful”

“Do you really think I look okay?”

“Yes”

“Should I leave my hair down or should I put it up?”

“Down. Oh and wear that cute little butterfly necklace”

“Okay” taking said necklace out of the jewellery box “Can you-“

“I got you Sunshine.”

“Thank you”

“Buck’s back by the way”

Nodding and spraying herself with her perfume one more time, Sam stands by the door with his arm held out so she could hold onto. Stepping over the threshold and walking down the corridor to where Bucky was waiting patiently.

It’s just Ducky. It’s just Ducky. It’s just Ducky.

She repeated in her head over and over as she watched him look up at her, the way his jaw dropped as his eyes raked up and down her figure but the silence was having her nerves skyrocketing.

“Buck” Steve whispered nudging his best friends’ shoulder when he noticed Y/n starting to twist her a strand of her hair, a thing she did when she was nervous.

“B-Bunny…your stunning”

“You think so?”

“I know so. God you are so beautiful”

Steve and Sam managed to get both of them out of the apartment after Steve sternly tells Bucky to have ‘his little princess back before midnight’ and Sam telling the blonde to cut them some slack, winking at Y/n who just rolls her eyes at the pair. Bucky leads her downstairs and helps her into the car.

The way he fidgeted in his seat was a dead giveaway that he was nervous just like she was.

“So where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see as soon as you see it-I just hope you like it”

“Of course I’d like it Ducky”

Smiling bashfully he takes her hand in his and brought her hand to his lips, placing a delicate kiss among her knuckles all while his eyes concentrated on the road ahead of him.

The familiar street before her had her wondering where on earth he was taking her.

“Bun, close your eyes for me and keep them closed until I say it’s okay to open them, okay?”

“I’m nervous now” she laughs but complies with his instructions.

The car comes to a stop she hears him getting out of the car, keeping her eyes closed she flinches when the passenger door opens and Bucky leans over to unbuckle her seatbelt. He notices the movement and kisses her temple whispering “It’s okay”. Helping her out of the car he places his hand in hers and starts to guide her along the pathway.

“Duck...”

“I’m right here Bun. I’ve got you my love”

A few minutes later Bucky brings them both to a stop and moves to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and leaning his head on her shoulder. “You can now open your eyes Bun”

Doing so her eyes adjusting to the sight in front of her. She knew instantly where she was.

The large pond sat undisturbed in the middle of the woodland area she spent many days of her childhood exploring, her safe haven, her happy place.

Just to the right and a five minute walk stood the tree she first met her Ducky.

However it was different now thanks to Bucky, in between two trees hung fairy lights casting a beautiful glow in the darkening sky. On the ground was a large blanket with a picnic basket sat on top.

So simple. But so beautiful.

“Buck…”

“If you don’t like it I can book a tab-“ he started – scared of her reaction, more like lack of one.

“It’s perfect”

Guiding her over to the blanket he helped her sit. The food was eaten pretty quickly. They both unknown to each other felt silly for ever being nervous for their first date.

“It’s just Bunny”

“It’s just Ducky”

They told themselves. Though they did have to admit that this was different now, they were on a proper date and not like their friendship dates they always went on. This was a huge step for them.

“How did you get the lights up there?” Y/n asked as she leaned against Bucky.

“With my father and Steve's help, it was a lot harder than we expected”

“Well I appreciate what you three went through to do it”

“Anything for you Bunny, you know this”

Sitting up and looking at him her breath hitched when she saw that his blue eyes that seemed to shine under the bright fairy lights were already on her.

“Bun, when I told you that I’m in love with you I wasn’t lying. I can’t begin to explain why I started to be a dick towards you afterwards as I don’t even know myself, I’m sorry”

“I wasn’t lying either, honestly it’s always been you Buck. And none of that matters no more, just promise me you won’t do it again as I hate not talking to you”

“I promise”

The way his eyes kept darting from hers to her lips had her licking them nervously and before she could process the words in her mind they were spilling out.

“Kiss me Ducky”

“Are you sure?”

“More than anything”

Ever so slowly he moved closer towards her and even more gently he takes her face in his hands and places his lips against hers. Both sighing contently as the tingly sensation tickles their lips.

The kiss grew more heated as their tongues danced together, hands reaching and touching each part of each others bodies. A small squeal of surprise left her mouth when Bucky knocked her onto her back and climbed on top of her, his lips never leaving hers even when she pulled back needing air his kissed-swollen lips never left her skin.

“You are the most prettiest thing I have ever laid my eyes on” he stated, she heard no indication of a lie not like she would have because to him it was the truth. There was nothing in this world that would have him changing his mind.

“I’m…” Y/n started to say but trailed off, hoping that he would catch on to what not only was she trying to say but to hint also.

“Your what Bun?”

“You know…”

“I don’t I’m afraid”

“I still have my flower” she says hoping that would make him understand but all she got was him raising his eyebrow in confusion. “I’m a virgin” she blurted out, cheeks and neck flushing bright red with embarrassment.

“Oh. That’s okay-hey look at me Bunny- it is okay, there isn’t any need to rush it”

“But I want to-with you I mean-now-well that is if you’re okay with that”

“Bun-“

“Never mind it was silly-.”

“Baby I want to, God knows I do but-but what if you regret it?”

“I won’t”

Kissing her once, twice, thrice he nods and starts to lift up. “W-where are you going?” she asks, panicking that she’s overstepped and overthought this whole date.

“Taking you home so we can make love”

“No, here. Please Ducky”

“Here? Are you sure my love?”

“Yes Ducky”

He leans back over her and kisses her passionately and feverishly. His hands and lips explored every crevice of her body. Explored the one place nobody had done before him.

“Are you sure Bunny? We can stop if you want” he asked before taking her flower.

“Ducky please, you’re the one, please”

“You’re the one for me too baby. I promise to go slow, tell me to stop if it gets too much and I will, okay”

“Okay”

Underneath the fairy lights and the stars that shined brightly in the dark sky, the cold air sweeping past the two, as they made love.

<Previous   Next>

Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx @kneelforloki @kandis-mom @sagebarness @sandyruston @scott-loki-barnes @nikkivillar @saltedcoffeescotch @scentedharmonymiracle @examinarei @sarcastickiddo @sadboiabby @unholyhuntress @8crazy-freak8 @ijustneedpopcorn @moonbeampillgoth @imcinnamoons @elmo-1066 @violetwinterwidow01 @suz7days @adoredire @ozwriterchick @randomrosie01 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @emerald-writes @justafangir1 @sibsteria @spencerreidisagorgman @sapphirebarnes @bruher @hawkinsavclub1983 @onlyonetifosi @parisadams @unabashedstarlightcrown @nash-dara @allofffmypeaches @loki-laufeyson68 @behindmygreyeyes @missvelvetsstuff @pigeonmama @lizslibrary @gloriouspurpose01

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barns x y/n #Through The Years #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes series #James Barnes #Bucky Barnes angst #bucky series #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes fluff #James Barnes fluff #james barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes friends to lovers

[ahsokasupremacy]

Alright, here are my Top Ten funniest guesses (+1 that I bet nobody ELSE will guess) for who Inquisitor Marrok actually is!

You are most welcome to correct me or let me know who YOU think is most probable.

And just to challenge myself, I’m NOT putting Ezra. Because that would be too obvious.

1. Barriss Offee

I’m serious when I say that this is probably the most likely.

We know that she is a very important character in Ahsoka’s life, the writers could be trying to mislead us into thinking that the Force User is a man when really we have no confirmation that they are. Plus Dave Filoni has said in interviews that he refused to have the character make cameos just because he wanted to save her for later. Also, many people already speculated that Barriss became an Inquisitor after Order 66, explaining the double-sided Inquisitor lightsaber.

2. Darth Maul

Their build is a little too skinny for Darth Maul, and also wow, he must really be getting up there. And also, he died in Rebels. But when has that really ever stopped Disney from resurrecting him? I just think they should keep bringing him back. For the bit. I want the opening scroll for the upcoming Daisy Ridley movie to contain the words “Somehow, Darth Maul returned…”

3. Bo Katan

I highly doubt this because her character arc on the Mandalorian is already concluded, but I can kinda see her doing this as like, a side gig. Homegirl is probably broke from paying off Mandalore’s restoration fees. She’s not a Force User unfortunately, but when has that ever stopped her? I like to believe that Bo Katan simply woke up one day and decided to be Force Sensitive and it all kinda worked out for her somehow.

4. Lux Bonteri

If this is the option David Filoni is going with, BOOO. Yet another character who isn’t Force Sensitive. If you really think about it, Dave Filoni probably wants to include someone with an important history with Ahsoka, someone close to her that she held dear and that betrayed her and that she still has lingering feelings for.

Well actually that person is Barriss, and yknow, she kinda went MIA. Sooo the next best thing we could get is Lux, I guess!

5. Anakin (Force Ghost)

Daaaad, what are you doing here?

Well, the ghosts of Obi-Wan and Yoda told him to fuck off and get a job. So here he is. He’s putting in the work! He’s logging onto his Zoom! Ahsoka is gonna be sooo surprised when he finally takes off the mask and reveals it was him along. Just you wait! It’s gonna be so funny!

6. Korkie Kryze

Now we’re really starting to get big brained here.

In Legends, we have Jacen Solo. In the sequels, we have Kylo Ren.

But in the Brand New Republic era? Hark, a new villain arises. Korkie is embittered about being left behind and forgotten by his biological parents, Satine and Obi-Wan. And now he is out for revenge against all the Force Users and Mandalorians who abandoned him. Mwahahaha. We should’ve known he would turn out like this, he’s a ginger after all.

7. Ventress

This would technically make Dark Disciple non-canon? But I don't think Dave Filoni cares, considering he hilariously made the Ahsoka novel non-canon. Ventress is obviously very powerful and capable of dual-wielding and she would make a great candidate for an Inquisitor. Plus her and Morgan Elsbeth are both former Nightsisters so points for rapport.

8. Anakin’s Evil Clone

Hey, I mean Palpatine HAD to start somewhere, right? He didn’t just create Snoke without practice. I like to think he tried making a second Anakin at first, only to discover that Clonakin was a huge pain in the ass and doesn’t wanna follow orders just sit on the couch all day eating the space equivalent of Hot Cheetos.

9. Cal Kestis but he’s evil now

This one pretty much goes against everything we know about Cal but hey, I’ll take a live action Cal cameo any day now. I’ve been on the frontlines defending my babygirl Anakin since day one, don’t even try to lecture me about the ethics of stanning Darksider Cal.

9. Mara Jade

OK no more messing around!! I'm serious this time!

EVERYONE LISTEN CLOSELY!

I think the reason why Dave hasn't made any references to Eli, or Ar'alani, or Vahnya must be because he grew up on the 80s Legends trilogy (not the canon trilogy). Whenever Thrawn is mentioned, there is a direct reference to Heir to the Empire. The same novel where Mara Jade is introduced as the Hand of the Emperor. Coincidence? I think not! Obviously, this must be part of Dave Filoni's master plan to softlaunch the upcoming top secret Thrawn series adaptation.

10. Starkiller

My only real proof is that his name (Marek, Marrok) kinda sounds similar?

Making Starkiller canon would create a whole bunch of problems for the Star Wars timeline. I think his origin story is too Mary Sue-y for even Dave Filoni to try and integrate into current canon.

However, it would be interesting to see a showdown between Anakin's two former apprentices. Interesting, but unlikely.

And finally, for my last guess, I will tell you exactly who Marrok REALLY is. Kathleen Kennedy told me personally, so don't get mad at me! She said it, not me!

11. Luuke (the clone Palpatine made out of Luke's dismembered hand)

This is the ONLY correct answer.

Us Timothy Zahn enjoyers know that this was really Luuke all along. I told you, Snoke isn't the first clone that Palpatine made! I imagine he had a lot of downtime and got bored and decided to fuck around, and that's how we got Luuke.

And yes, I would cast Sebastian Stan to play him because I'm petty AF.

#ahsoka #ahsoka show #barriss offee #lux bonteri #anakin skywalker #eli vanto #thrawn #mara jade #bo katan kryze #cal kestis #korkie kryze #darth maul #my post #ventress

[cassiopeiasdaughter]

maroon

Theodore Nott x fem!reader

part of the midnights collection

November 17th, 1998

Dear Diary,

Writing here has always been a way for me to vent about everything; let it all out and go on with my day.

But how am I ever going to be able to move on when life now has everything to do with the War?

All the issues that mattered once, seem so insignificant now. Maybe that is why I haven’t written in so long. I think I’ve almost forgotten how to.

You sigh and look outside your window, thinking of a way to continue; a way to let out your thoughts. To do that of course you have to calm the chaos in your mind, untangle every issue and then write it down.

Instead you look outside, it is midnight, or close to anyways, and the sky is clear. It’s a nice change, after all the raining that November has brought, so far.

You can see the moon as it lights everything up, the moonlight mixes with the lights of the town and for a split second you feel a flutter of hope inside. It feels like a sign, how the light defies darkness; it always finds a way to stay and wins. Maybe, just maybe you will win too.

I am scared. I never considered myself brave or daring; at least not like Harry or everyone else, but this War has turned me into a terrified mess. Sleeping is the worst part. Everyday, I try to forget about my worries, push those thoughts and feelings deep deep down but at night, once I let my guard down they come rushing back up.

I think of Dumbledore and his death; the first time I ever felt this unsafe. Then, everything I have seen on the battlefield flashes before my eyes. Everything that has gone wrong and then everything that can go wrong. I see everyone I love dead; I see us lose and I see him win. I don’t want him to win. He can’t win.

You need a minute to breathe before continuing, you stand up and take long strides across your room, while trying to control your breathing.

Count to 10 and go again, that is what they advise you, and it is what you do until you can breathe again. Search for something in the room to ground you, another advice that you follow.

Once you’ve calmed your nerves you sit back down and take your favorite pen in your hands.

Change of subject. Remus and Moody split us up in small groups. An easy way for them to organize everything, assign tasks, communicate with us etc. Each group has a different code name and different responsibilities, which means we'll be spending a lot of time together. My partners are alright, I feel safe with them, for the most part.

Thankfully Hermione is with us, along with Neville and Luna. The boys are stationed somewhere else, they haven't given us their location, in case something bad happens. Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson are also in our group. Shocked, are you? I’ll explain.

A few months ago they joined the Order. It feels so weird saying that. They were Slyherins, their families are Death Eaters. At school they mocked us, bragged about their families or their blood status. Well not all of them, Nott didn't say much, neither did Zabini, not to me at least.

Blaise Zabini, was killed by some Death Eaters, YouKn Voldemort ordered it. He hadn't taken the Mark and from what I understand he wasn't interested in this War either, he was planning to flee with Nott and Pansy; before their parents forced them to take the Mark (Malfoy has but you remember that from sixth year).

Voldemort found out and he killed him in front of everyone, to scare them I guess and prevent any traitors. Pansy was the first one to leave after that, and the boys followed her. They hid around the country for a while, but eventually they found us. They asked for protection and in return they would tell us everything they knew.

It didn't take long before they actually joined us, Draco doesn't seem that interested in beating Voldemort, but the other two, they want our side to win. They are just as scared as we are. I guess they finally understand what this War means.

It is complicated with them. I don't know whether to pity them or hate them. It would be so easy to blame them for everything. But I can't.

You let out a sigh as you look up. You don't know what you want to write next and you don’t feel tired enough to sleep. So you head downstairs to the kitchen hoping to find something to ease your mind.

The house is quiet, usually at this time everyone is in their rooms, getting ready for their missions, or asleep.

You are lost in thought when you hear a male voice that startles you, "Couldn't sleep either?"

“Nott” you say breathless “You scared me. It’s late, why aren’t you sleeping?”

You know why; it’s the same reason you are awake and the same reason why those who do sleep at night, always have a bottle of Sleeping Draught near their beds.

He responds with a weak smile.

“So what brings you here?” He says as he turns around and opens cabinets, clearly in search of something.

“Needed to get out of my room.” You reply

“Aha here it is.” He says triumphantly, holding a bottle of wine in his hands.

“Maroon Rosé” he reads the label quietly “It is no Merlot but it will have to do.”

You took a moment to observe him, his hair is messy, messier than usual.

His eyes aren’t the cold green that scared you in school, they seem welcoming now. Maybe it is the War or the exhaustion, but he seems more normal now, less scary.

Looking up at you with a sad smile and the bottle of wine in one hand he says “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the back-porch wallowing, you’re welcome to join.”

You quirked an eyebrow and he raises a finger “But only for wallowing, I can’t be bothered with heroic pep talks today.”

You let out a sigh and grab an ashtray from the counter before you join him outside.

As you open the door, the winter night breeze sends chills all over your body and you curse yourself for not having worn something thicker- warmer before leaving your room.

You find Theo sitting on the floor, just a few steps away from the door. His back is leaning against the wall and his head is slightly turned up towards the sky. His hand clutches the bottle as he takes a long sip before holding it out to you; an invitation that you gladly take.

You sit down, knees raised in front of you to keep you warm and you place your things between you and Theo.

“Nothing like the expensive shit you’re used to, right?” you say sarcastically

He takes a moment to drink and then looks at you; “Well, I am not a wine man, more of a…” he pretends to focus “Firewiskey, no rocks. Yeah.” 

“That” you say mockingly and take the bottle from his hands “Would be Snape, if he let himself drink.”

He looks at you and you both laugh.

You bring the joint to your mouth and light it. You inhale, let yourself relax and then exhale.

“Now where did you find that?” Theo says with a grin, observing you closely.

You pass him the joint, asking him without words if he is interested; to which he responds with a long drag.

“I have friends” you say and continue as he raises his eyebrows in question “Luna gave it to me.”

You let out a laugh as you explain “She said it would help calm my nerves and sleep, in the way that nature wants us to”, you say the last few words in Lunas voice

He lets out a laugh and closes his eyes as he leans back at the wall, resting his head for a moment. 

He rubs his eyes and lets out a loud sigh “If you told me last year I would be smoking pot, supplied by Lovegood, with you in the middle of a random night, I-“

“Would have jumped off the astronomy tower?” You finish for him

He gives you a dramatic look, pretending to be surprised “And waste my chance to disappoint my father this much? Absolutely not”

You laugh quietly and then the cold hits you, causing you to shiver loudly.

He sees that and quickly shrugs off his coat, “Here.” He says and hands it out to you

You push his hands back and refuse it “No it’s fine, you don’t have to.”

“I don’t need it, I am coldblooded, Slytherin House and all.”, he jokes as he drapes his brown coat over your shoulders, trapping you in his scent that is now mixed with the smell of wine and smoke.

“You are ridiculous, and thank you.” You say softly

Silence washes over the two of you for a while, leaving you to admire the moon and the stars, the peace nature brings you, even in the times of War. Humans can be violent but the Earth doesn’t care, she continues living; survives despite our self-destructive nature.

Life will go on, after the War, after our deaths; but we must find a way to make the present count for something, not let it be time gone to waste. You tense at the thought of death, destruction, losing. And as you feel your breath quickening you hear a laugh on your right.

You give Theo a confused look, “What?”

“Your face; it reminded me of how you looked at me when we came here.” He said with a grin

“I- what about my face?” You ask annoyed

“Scared the shit out of me, made a mental note to avoid you after that.” He smirked

You open your mouth as if insulted “First of all, you are doing a terrible job at avoiding me and secondly, I was confused and scared when I saw you three.”

He tilts his head to the side and pretends to think before stating “Mmm no, you were furious, I vividly remember your eyebrows almost touching your hairline.”

You smack his arm with your hand and steal the wine bottle from his hands.

Silence falls again between the two of you, you are the one to break it this time, “I never said sorry, about Blaise.” You turn to look at him, gently, as if treating a wounded wild animal “I am sorry.”

He freezes for a moment and he stares into your eyes, “Thank you.” He whispers before turning his head down to his hands and then plays with his rings.

You hear him sigh and turn to look at him; worried.

"I am sorry." he says looking into your eyes, "For how I acted in school."

"I- it is fine, it's in the past now. Besides, you weren't that bad."

Melancholia hits you suddenly, as you remember your school years. How safe you felt in that place. How good it felt to be somewhere you actually belonged in. You missed studying and then complaining about homework. You missed Hogsmead weekends, but most of all you missed how free you were.

"I miss it.", you say quietly, barely a whisper, mostly for you to hear.

"I don't." he responds

You quickly give him confused look why you silently ask him.

"I miss Blaise, but I don't miss Hogwarts, or my home. I- I want the war to end but at least if I die now it will be my choice, I am free now."

"You think we are free? We are able to sit here thanks to the protective spells by Moody. We can’t leave this place without giving notice. We can barely sleep at night because we are terrified someone will attack us in our sleep. I can't see how any of this is freedom.", you say as you feel anger getting the best of you.

"You and I chose to join the Order, you could've ran away, like so many have. We chose to stay and fight.", he explains

You shake your head annoyed, we chose this he says but you don't see how you were given any choice in the matter. You couldn't simply run away, it wasn't like you. You had to fight, that was the noble thing to do.

"I am here because I have to be, I can't run away from something as important as this, running away was never a choice for me." you say with a hint of anger coating your tongue.

"Maybe you are right, but" he lets out a sigh "Draco, Pansy, we weren't raised like that. We- we are given our duties the moment we are born. Get married, have kids, continue the family line. We have no choice in the matter, or the War. It was a given that we would join the Dar- Him."

You knew that, but never actually put any thought to it. It was easier to call them bad and evil, ignorant. It was easier for you to hate them this way. But why should you hate them, they were children just like you; brought into this without ever asking for it.

"You are right, sorry." you reply finally

"We need to stop saying sorry to eachother."

You have known eachother for six years, and before tonight you never acknowledged one another. House rivalry, blood purists; they never let you grow up in peace. You were divided from the moment the Sorting Hat was placed on your heads. Maybe peace was never truly there.

"This is so weird.", you said dragging the last word, "we wouldn't be here having a civilized conversation if the world hadn't gone to shit. That is so weird."

"It is fucked up, actually." he adds, "But it is true."

As time passes, you get closer to eachother, your shoulders lightly brushing now and your feet leaning on him for support. You feel your eyelids growing heavy and you let your head fall back as you close your eyes, just for a minute, you tell yourself.

You hear your name being gently whispered and feel hands through your hair, brushing locks behind your ear.

"Let's head to bed, yeah?", he gently asks and helps you up.

You both clean up and you head upstairs together; whispering goodnight to eachother and being as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake the others.

As you close your bedroom door, you realize you are still wearing Theos coat, you feel a smile forming on your lips; and are unable to stop it.

You see your diary left open and before you let yourself sleep for the night you pick up your pen and finish what you started earlier.

I wish I had talked to them before the War. Maybe we could have been friends. I can feel my eyes growing heavy, so I am going to explain another time.

Goodnight!

Yours,

A/N:University is coming up and exams are near so I don't know when the next chapters will be up or when I'll have the time to write again. But I will definitely continue this. Until next time 🤍🖤

Also again, sorry for any mistakes, this isn’t proofread and English isn’t my first language

#theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott x reader #theo nott #theo nott imagine #wizarding war #au #very much an au

[thornybubbles]

Playing Minecraft with the Stardust Crusaders

**Note: Originally I was going to have this be a story with just Kakyoin, but I decided to add the rest of the Stardust Crusaders. Also I decided to just do headcanons instead of writing a full story. I’ve been writing a lot of dark yandere stuff and I just wanted a break. So here’s something wholesome. PS. Polnareff’s part was my favorite to write. XD **

Joseph

He may be an old man, but he’s not completely out of touch when it comes to the concept of video games. It takes him a little bit to learn how to play, but once he gets the hang of it, there’s no stopping him. Joseph’s building skills are pretty basic. He’s more interested in the survival and exploration elements of Minecraft. Once he gets his house built, he does a little mining to get a full set of iron armor, weapons, and tools and then he’s off to explore. He’s almost never seen around the main base and spends most of his time many, many blocks away, discovering cool things. He will often ask questions about things he’s unfamiliar with and you explain it to him. Sometimes he hardly speaks at all because he’s too enamored with all the stuff he’s discovering. 

Then there was the “Creeper Incident”. Joseph made the mistake of doing some exploring at night instead of going to sleep like a good little Minecrafter. 

“Hey, what’s this freaky green thing?” he asked you. 

“Freaky green thing? What kind of freaky green thing?” you said, wanting some specifics. 

“It looks like a depressed cactus,” he explained. 

Uh oh.

“Oh! That’s a cr---!” 

There was a distant explosion followed by Joseph screaming, “Oh my God! Son of a bitch!!!” 

After that, something changed in Joseph’s play style. He went from explorer to monster hunter. Angry at having been blown up and losing all his stuff, he goes on a vendetta to destroy all creepers. And why stop there? Zombies, spiders,skeletons or any other creature of the night that crosses his path were quickly dealt with. He goes deep into learning brewing, armor and weapon enchanting, and anything else he can think of to give him an edge against the hostile mobs. With Avdol’s help he builds a battle tower and protective wall around the base. He has very big dreams about taking out the Ender Dragon. 

Joseph is a bit of a jack of all trades when it comes to Minecraft. He may not be the best builder but he has a lot of creative ideas that help all of you with whatever projects you might be working on, especially when it comes to base defense and monster fighting.

Jotaro

He only ever plays when either you or one of the other Crusaders asks him to. When he first spawned in he wasn’t too impressed. He had a hard time figuring out what he wanted to do. At first, he doesn’t bother building a house or anything and just bums around his grandpa’s house. He makes a snide comment about how Joseph’s house is just a big, wooden block with one window and a door. Joseph grumbles something about how his house didn’t need to be pretty, just practical. Joseph ends up being the one to teach Jotaro how to play, while you occasionally interject to mention something Joseph may have forgotten about. Jotaro just responds with non-committal grunts and wanders around the base, checking things out. 

Eventually, he goes off on his own to explore and find somewhere nearby to build a house. He hasn’t collected any resources, has no tools, or crafted a weapon of any kind when he starts exploring. You try to warn him that he should at least get a wooden sword to defend himself with, but he ignores you. It isn’t until night comes and he is nearly killed by zombies that he finally decides to get some wood and stone and make some basic tools. He still hasn’t found a decent place to build yet, though.  

After he’s wandered around for about 4 in-game days, he comes across a village. Jotaro watches the villagers run around, doing their thing, and is bemused at their silly appearance and sounds. But when nighttime comes and zombies start attacking them, Jotaro feels he’s found his purpose in the game. Somebody has to protect these dumb looking guys and it may as well be him. He teams up with Avdol and Joseph (who is a little miffed that someone found a village before he did) to form a “Village Security Team”. While Avdol fixes the village up by patching holes in walkways, correcting poorly spawned buildings, and starting work on building a monster proof wall around the village, Jotaro and Joseph stay up at night to fight off the monsters. 

Eventually, Jotaro builds a massive fortress near the village and Avdol attaches the wall to it. This fortress serves as Jotaro’s home and the village becomes the secondary base for you guys. Joseph jokingly calls him “King JoJo” and “Your Highness” which usually has Jotaro grumbling under his breath. He spends most of his days decorating or improving either the fortress or the village itself. When he’s not doing that, he’s usually tagging along on one of his Grandfather’s adventures. 

Kakyoin

The redstone wizard of the group. Noriaki’s beaten the game a few times already, but only recently started messing around with redstone contraptions. He set up an automated farm that both harvests and replants crops as well as a huge mineshaft with minecarts set up so that they returned to the surface to be unloaded whenever players filled them up with resources.

As innovative as he is, though, he often uses his redstone skills to be an absolute troll. And usually, his victim is you. That’s not to say that he hasn’t pranked any of the others yet, it’s just that you’re his favorite target. It’s kinda your fault though. It started back when you first started playing Minecraft together and you might have, possibly, sorta, kinda, completely un-accidentally pilfered a diamond or two from one of his chests. He knew you were the culprit because there wasn’t anyone else in the game at the time but the two of you. He didn’t call you out on it, though, assuming that you would replace the diamonds as soon as you got a chance. You never did. While you actually did have every intention of returning the diamonds to him, you just forgot about it. It didn’t help that you later developed a habit of helping yourself to whatever you found in his chests instead of going out and getting the resources for yourself. Hey, it was easier and it saved time!

Nori never said a word about it, instead opting to quietly plan his revenge. One day you went down into his storage basement to grab some cobblestone from one of his chests. You were only going to grab a stack or two and make a mental note (for the hundredth time) to replace whatever you took, but knowing that you’d probably forget. When you opened the chest, though, you didn’t find any cobblestone. Instead you found yourself staring into the sullen face of a creeper, its warning hiss in your ears. You let out a shriek of terror and braced yourself for the inevitable explosion, but it never came. You examined the “creeper” again only to see that it was nothing more than an armor stand wearing a creeper head and green dyed leather armor. It was inside of a minecart that was cleverly hidden behind the chest. You just stared at it as your brain slowly came to the conclusion that you’d just been pranked. 

“Ah, I see you found my theft deterrent.” Noriaki said, amusement clear in his voice. “It’s a nifty little project I found online called the ‘creeper in a box’ prank.” 

You can’t even say anything. He got you good and you know it. You made it a point to stay out of his storage basement from then on. 

It doesn’t stop there though. That one little incident unleashed Noriaki’s inner troll and you’re the one who gets to suffer for it. From filling your house with dirt blocks to slowly rearranging your decorations over time to see how long it would take for you to notice, Noriaki just seems to love messing with you. You have to admit that while his pranks are annoying, they are pretty funny and too clever for you to really get mad at. Your “favorite” was when he hid a bunch of note blocks under your house and arranged them to play a certain song when you opened the front door. 

“Nori, why is my house Rick Rolling me?” you demand of him, annoyed but admittedly amused. 

“Why are you asking me?” he says, playing dumb. 

He knows what he did. 

You eventually do give him his diamonds back in hopes that will appease him. It does… for a little while at least. 

Avdol

The master builder. Before being invited to play Minecraft with you guys, he’d never really played a video game before. But there was something about the building mechanics of the game that awakened something within him, possibly nostalgia for those calm times with building blocks when he was a little kid. Whatever the case, Avdol takes to building like a pro and all without any YouTube tutorials, too. You want a medieval style bakery? You got one. Want a modern bungalow? He’ll do it. Giant fire breathing demon chicken to put in the middle of the base? You can envision the weird looks he wants to give you, but he’ll make one of those, no problem. His best projects are the ones he does on his own, though, with no guidance and with minimal suggestions. 

Due to his building skills, he finds himself constantly busy within the game as someone always has some kind of building project they want help with. He even offered to improve Joseph’s plain block house. The old man told him to do whatever he pleased and then went off to go treasure hunting with Jotaro and Kakyoin. When Joseph came back he found his simple home had been converted into a deceptively cute cabin. While Joseph was impressed enough with how cozy it looked, Avdol revealed that the cabin had a secret, a well hidden secret chamber that appealed to Joseph's inner superhero fanboy. He had his very own secret lair now (yeah, it’s not really a secret if everybody on the server knows about it, but let the old man dream)!

Over time, Avdol has added things here and there to the base to keep things from looking so plain. He’s added a decorated pond for fishing and just a place to hang out. There’s also a meeting area for when the whole gang gets together right before going on an adventure (brings back bittersweet memories. At least this time there’s no danger of anyone actually dying.). 

And yes, he even added that giant fire breathing demon chicken statue you wanted so badly. Your odd tastes aside, Avdol managed to make the abomination of a statue look rather cool and stylized. Kakyoin wants it to be the mascot for your group. It ends up being put on any and all banners for the base, much to Avdol’s chagrin. 

Every time he gets online with you guys he is either working on a project or starting another one. He never seems to run out of things to do. Surprisingly, his own home is rather quaint. Just a regular old farm house, but it’s very pretty. And yes, he has a chicken farm. 

Polnareff

Chaos incarnate. This man got into the game and immediately started doing everything WRONG! Digging straight down, forgetting to sleep at least once to ward off phantoms, forgetting to crouch when standing at the edge of great heights, you name it he’s messed it up. So basically just Polnareff being Polnareff. He always manages to find danger or danger finds him. Every monster in the area seems to target him specifically. On one mining trip you actually watched around five zombies shamble right past you and head straight for a very startled Polnareff. They completely ignored you! He’s died so many times that you actually put in the “keep inventory” cheat so that at the very least he stops losing all of his hard earned resources. 

Speaking of resources, when it comes to mining it’s the one thing that Jean Pierre is really, really lucky at. To the point that it makes everyone else jealous. He was the first to find diamonds and emeralds and the first to manage to get full stacks of both. You never even thought it possible to find 64 emeralds naturally, but Polnareff managed to pull it off. Joseph is quick to accuse him of cheating which results in a very childish argument between the two until you step in and explain that you were with Polnareff the whole time and he just finds diamonds and emeralds by chance. Joseph apologizes but grumbles when Polnareff laughs. Ever since then, whenever he comes across diamonds, or anything even remotely interesting, he is very obnoxious about it. 

“HEY GUYS!!! GUESS WHO FOUND EVEN MORE DIAMONDS?!!” he’ll shout in an annoying sing-song voice.

This usually results in annoyed huffs from Avdol and Kakyoin, disgruntled “Good griefs” from Jotaro, not-so-humble requests for him to stop bragging like an asshole from Joseph, and a threat or two from you that if he didn’t stop rubbing your faces in it, you would shove him into the nearest lava pit. This always earns a mischievous giggle or two from him. He’s so full of himself about it. He does make up for it though, when he crafts full sets of diamond armor for you all. For all his arrogant bragging, he’s really rather generous with his finds. If any of you need diamonds or emeralds he’s the first to offer up his stash. After all, he has so many, why shouldn’t he share? ~ ❤

Whenever he goes mining, you usually tag along. You say that it’s so you can help him carry his loot, but actually it’s because you’re his self appointed babysitter. Just like in real life, it just isn’t a good idea for him to run off by himself. You never say that out loud though because you know how sensitive he is about being danger-prone. Besides he likes having you along and the two of you end up as mining buddies almost every time you play. Sometimes Kakyoin joins you as he’s always in need of redstone and other materials for his contraptions (it’s important to note that Polnareff is Kakyoin’s second favorite trolling victim and it always makes you nervous whenever he tags along because you never know if he’s up to something or just genuinely wants to collect resources.). 

Whenever you and Polnareff go off on your own to do anything, the rest of the Crusaders server prepares their poor ears for the inevitable screaming and swearing that will follow. Something happens to you whenever you pair up with Polnareff. Your brain power seems to get cut in half and the two of you end up becoming an unintentional comedy duo that has everyone else either laughing or, in Jotaro’s case, muting you for being “too damn loud”. 

There was one time that Polnereff was digging a strip mine that ended up leading right into the Deep Dark and the Warden’s territory. You can probably guess what happened. Before you could warn him, Polnareff’s antics end up summoning the Warden and the monster kills you both before either of you have a chance to panic. This results in Polnareff seeking revenge (or trying to) and going all the way back to the Deep Dark to fight the Warden again (and dragging you along each time), and (both of you) dying again. This happens about three more times before he actually manages to defeat the Warden only to find out that he doesn’t get any kind of reward for it (other than bragging rights, which believe me, he takes advantage of). 

On a minor note, Polnareff’s inventory is always extremely unorganized. Whether referring to his personal inventory or his storage chests his inventory is in shambles. There’s no rhyme or reason for where he places things in his hotbar and sometimes he’ll end up hitting monsters with a stick or block of glass rather than his sword. He also has a bad habit of using the wrong tool for certain jobs, such as using his pickaxe on dirt instead of his shovel and it drives more organized players like Kakyoin and Avdol insane. 

BONUS:

Iggy

(We’re assuming that the little gremlin lives with you) While he can’t exactly play video games for obvious reasons, he does kinda like watching you play, but that’s only if he’s not trying to take a nap (you’re kinda noisy). Most of the time he just plops down in his comfy spot and watches you struggle to survive in what he mentally calls the “stupid human block game”. He is really amused whenever you and Polnareff team up because watching you two together is comedy gold. Sometimes, when you’re playing alone, he’ll wait for you to be exploring a dark, creepy cave and suddenly bark very loudly for no reason, causing you to very nearly jump out of your skin. 

Iggy: “BARK!”

You scream, swear, and jump back so hard that your headset falls off. Your mouse has been practically thrown across the room. You turn around and glare at the little brat. 

“IGGY!” you shout accusingly. 

The cheeky little doggo runs out of the room making sounds that can be interpreted as the canine equivalent of snickering.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #reader insert #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #minecraft #non yandere #jjba jotaro #jotaro kujo #noriaki kakyoin #muhammed avdol #jean pierre polnareff #joseph joestar #jjba iggy #this was very long

[eaudelouis]

Astarion x Masc! Reader

The Brink on The River Bank

(Not Requested)

Disclaimer: this story may have some lore not relevant to the lore of BG3 and/or D&D. I have not completed BG3, but figured this would be a fun story to write anyways! I hope you enjoy.

As my wound worsened by the hour, I could feel myself getting weaker, and with no one around, I knew death was certain. I clutched my wound with both my hands, holding onto my side where I had been cut deeply. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The sound of a river nearby. I knew if I were to die, I’d want to die somewhere peaceful. Somewhere quiet. Somewhere where I could gaze upon the stars one last time. As I approached the river, I collapsed onto the ground, and couldn’t find the strength to get back up. I had to crawl the short distance to be beside the creek.

I laid on my back, allowing my hand to touch the water, washing off my bloodstained hands. I could feel my eyelids droop, I could feel death approaching me slowly, like an animal hunting it’s prey. Slowly, quietly, then it pounces. I was going in and out of consciousness, and soon, found myself in a world of dreams.

My dreamscape had been interrupted by a sharp pain in my throat. It was almost painful enough for my adrenaline to kick in so I could fight. But I couldn’t. The initial pain was the worst part. Now, I hardly felt a thing. I allowed myself to relax, believing that some animal was now eating me alive, but soon, everything would be over.

To my surprise, I woke up the next morning, under the shade inside a tent. In my confusion, I set out to discover where I was. As I went to open the tent’s door, I heard a voice, strictly telling me to not touch it.

“Ah, ah, ah!” The white haired man started.

“Where am I?” I stuttered, “Who are you?”

“Now now, let’s just take a seat and I’ll explain everything,” the man said. I took a seat the farthest away from this stranger I just met. He sat opposite of me, his eyes almost peering into my soul.

“First of all, my name is Astarion. Second of all, last night, I found you. Just by the riverside. You were almost dead.” That’s when I noticed I had no pain where my wound was. I had almost completely forgotten about it. I lifted my shirt to take a look, and it was gone. Healed.

I was amazed, and I looked at Astarion. “What happened to me? I thought I was as good as dead?”

“You would’ve been, had you not placed your hand in the water.”

“Wait, I don’t understand?” I said, confused.

“You placed a bloody hand in the river, and as it washed off, the blood went down the river. I found you that way, by following the blood trail in the river. It les me straight to you,” he let out a small chuckle,” you didn’t even flinch when I bit you! Ha!”

“Wait, that was… you? I felt it, but went numb shortly after.”

“Yes, we’ll, darling, you were almost dry. You were bleeding out so much, I’m surprised you even made it as far as you did.”

As he spoke his words, I took in all his features. His white hair, his red eyes, his pointy teeth. A vampire. This only triggered me to start exploring my own features, mostly by feeling my teeth with my tongue. Two sharpened canine teeth sat in the front, and I looked around for any reflective surface.

In almost a panic, I get up and try to find a mirror or spoon or anything I could see myself in. I was rummaging through anything Astarion had, when his footsteps kept getting closer. He held out a mirror to me, and I took it from his hands. I peered into it hesitantly, but was shocked when I could see everything behind me, but I couldn’t see me.

“Did you turn me into a vampire?” I asked hesitantly, my back facing him, my arms to my side. Slowly, I turned to face him.

“Yes, I did, darling, and I must say, you make a handsome vampire at that. Your eyes are the most astonishing shade of red I’ve ever seen.”

“Did you save me?”

“I guess in some ways, yes. But if you’re asking if I wanted to change you, the answer is also yes. When I smelled your blood, I traced it to you. I was hunting alongside the woods when the smell started coming down the stream. It was the most delicious smelling blood I have ever had the pleasure of smelling.”

I listened to him tell me how he found me, how he saved me, and how he carried me back to his tent. He explained that he stayed by my side while I was turning, and he was preparing to tell me about everything once I woke up. He carefully sealed up the opening of the tent so no daylight could reach me, and so I wouldn’t accidentally burn myself when I awoken scared.

He explained how he had his mirror ready, so I could understand quicker, and he brought me back up to date. At this point, I felt a deepening burning in the back of my throat. I started to feel weak again, throughout the day. And as night came, Astarion helped me hunt for the first time.

He taught me how to be stealthy on my feet, as to not scare off prey, and how to be persuasive and confident. I hugged him after our first full day together, and thanked him for saving me. To my surprise, he hugged me back, and assured me that I would always be welcome if I needed a friend or any advice, although I don’t plan on leaving him any time soon. I’m glad that now, I have a second chance at life.

#x male! reader #x ftm reader #astarion #astarion x ftm reader #astarion x male reader #astarion x male tav #astarion x tav #astarion x male! reader #baulders gate astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion x trans reader #astarion x reader #astarion fic #astarion bg3 #bg3 imagine

[wayfayrr]

Here's part three of Sage in the real world! He's starting to find his footing - although reader doesn't need to know that and reader's stressed even more now from being dumped back into things they'd forgotten, so they've got the perfect balance!

part 1, part 2

It’s easy just to lie here with sage. Not having him as stressed, but putty in my arms is a nice break from everything I’ve got to deal with. He’s surprisingly comfortable to have as a blanket; his hair is incredibly soft even with the amount of time he spends in the wild. That shower must’ve worked wonders for him, given he’s washed his hair with soap rather than just water, hopefully. Might as well make the most of this moment while he’s willing to be this vulnerable. Even if he does seem a bit smug that I’m holding him, for whatever reason. Nothing this peaceful can last forever, with the buzz of my phone breaking me out of it. Not a news pop-up or something that could be ignored as much as I’d prefer to block it out. A private message, about…

Oh no.

"Sage. If you’re feeling better I - we need might need to go shopping."

"Why? Why can’t we just stay like this [name]? "

"Well I uh, I might’ve forgotten that I had planned to have guests over tomorrow. So I need to get some things in to prepare."

He did not like that. At all. Easy to tell from how he growled, his arms tightening around me; pressing his head into the crook of my neck. Acting similar to when I was reunited with the chain. When he was jealous. What reason does he have to be jealous now? 

"Isn’t there a way you can cancel? I’m really not ready to meet anyone for at least a week."

"If I had more time, I would. But it’s too short notice. You can stay in a different room if you’d like, I won’t force you to be around them"

Hopefully, he doesn’t hold this against me. Was there a way I could’ve told him so he’d handle it better, with how he’s whining? Maybe not.

"No. I’m not leaving you alone. I know we’re in your world now but I wouldn’t put it past Ganondorf to be able to replicate your friends."

"They’ll only be here for the evening, Lavender. Besides I doubt it would be worth the effort to replace so many people with puppets, is there anything that I can do to make you more comfortable with the idea of it?"

"Just… I don’t want you out of my sight [name], I can’t trust whoever your guests are. I couldn’t live with myself if I let you get hurt."

Trust issues, right. Of course he doesn't want the first person who truly cares for him as a person to leave him alone, I knew this back in Hyrule. As far as requests he could've made though, it’s pretty reasonable and easy to do for that matter. Now I’ll just have to hope that they won’t ask too many questions about him or ask the right questions to set him off. With a nod and a gentle nudge to move him off of me, it’s time to see how he’ll react somewhere other than my house.

"We won’t have to be out long today, an hour or two at max, okay Sage? And shopping for it would be a good chance to buy you some things you'll need"

"Things I’ll need? I have you to myself. What else would I need. What kind of things are you talking about?"

How much money do I have right now? If I remember right I would’ve been paid yesterday however paying for sage now as well as myself? There should be enough; might be time to look for a better-paid job soon, since I’ll be paying for the both of us from now on. Sage is going to hate that though; maybe I should hold off on telling him for a while. It’s not like I haven't got enough time set aside to have a few days off. Explaining more about what life will look like here, while tugging on sage to get up may not be the smartest thing I’ve ever done but it’s something that works. He’s moving with me now towards the door, just need some shoes then we can leave.

"Basics really, some more clothes, soaps and things, maybe a phone?? If it doesn’t cost too much."

"You, you think I’m really worth doing that for? No one’s ever thought I was worth doing so much for. I’m so glad you're mine."

Did he just say what I think he did? Do I? Should I say something back? Has he noticed I froze up because of that?

"What? What do you mean by that Sage?"

"... you’re mine? You gave me your clothes, you’re letting me live with you, and you've given me a nickname. Am I not already your lover?"

He - He sees me as his partner already? It’s not like I don’t care for him but he already thinks we’re together, really? I guess in the games Mipha proposes with the zora armour, but that’s not a Hylian custom is it? And they weren’t made for him, just my old clothes. Is he going to be more convinced I’m his partner if I help him adjust? Would I mind that?

Silence probably isn’t what Sage needed, but getting out and heading towards the shop does help to order my own thoughts about this all. After a few more moments like that, paired with a heavy sigh I finally gathered the confidence to answer him over silently dragging him to our destination.

"I never - Well I never thought you were in love with me, you’ve never mentioned you felt like that. But I wouldn’t be against a relationship like that with you."

"Good. So that makes me your husband then."

WHAT?? What the??? How long has he been assuming we’re together to think of himself like THAT?

Is he even being serious right now? He can’t be serious, can he? I’m not sure whether to take it at face value or not, I mean who just says that at a time like this? And as determined as he did?

"So are you… just declaring that we’re a couple now, I’m fairly sure that’s not how it usually works??"

"Yes, I am. What does it matter that it’s not ‘usual’?"

Bluescreening doesn’t come close to how I feel right now. He’s actually convinced himself that we were in a romantic relationship for who knows how long and he’s only just mentioned it!?

"You - what if I’d started seeing someone else, you’d never told me you wanted to be together? What would you have done??" 

"I would have dealt with them."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? Deal with them how? Do I even want to know?

I don’t think I do. Not with the look Sage has on his face. Murderous doesn’t even describe it. If looks could kill, then whoever my hypothetical partner was would be dead and buried several times over by now. Wrapping his arm around my waist as we carried on walking seemed to draw him out of it though. He’s never been as terrifying before in all the time I’ve known him. Even when I was talking about the chain earlier he didn’t look as dangerous, as unhinged, as he did just then.

Can he tell I’m uncomfortable with how he’s acting? Is that why he’s holding me like this? Is it because of the stress that he’s acting like this, or have I been overlooking the real reason?

I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, he doesn’t deserve my trust in him to be broken if he’s just acting out from stress. Either way, we’re nearly at the shops. Thankfully Sage seems to be calming down somewhat, even if he is pressing himself into my side desperate for my touch.

Just a quick trip [name]. You can do this.

#linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #link x reader #lu sage #yandere lu sage

[femoso-seben]

Immortal Shenanigans

Chapter 1: Pots and Bullets

Pt. 2, Pt.3

Warning: mild violence.

You stare into the darkness and frown. You had finally remembered the location of your first-ever temple, your pride and joy. At last! But all of your Gold, Statues, and mercury river was gone! What was left were thousands of years old footprints of the thieves who robbed you.

You sigh and walk around with your flashlight in hand. You fell in through a trap door and forgot how to get out. It’s been over 5,000 years and your memories of this time long faded into the back of your mind. You walk around before stopping your eyes widen as joy sets in.

Your pots!

They survived. They were rudimentary and shabbily made, but for the time it was the best. You looked at them and gently picked on up, it was used for wine when mortals bestowed God-hood onto you. It was so long ago, to be worshiped, what bliss.

“AAAAHHH!” You turn around to see the trap door closing and a new figure with you.

“What the fucking hell was that?” The man with a Mohawk grumbles. “Hello! Anyone here me?” He shouts before walking around. He’s like a mad toddler throwing a tantrum. You giggle and he twirls around gun in hand.

“Aaah!” He screams. “What are you doing down here?”

“This is my temple.” You casually reply. It was your temple, the temple of Hauhet. Many believe you were Hauhet, the goddess of eternity.

“Your temple?” He asked his accent strong and annoyed.

“My temple,” you repeat. He stared at you with a look that called you dumb in every language possible.

“What are you a grave robber?”

“Excuse me, child! I am an Antique collector! I fell down here just like you!” You snap annoyed this young man was back talking you.

“I’m pretty sure I’m older than you,” he states looking you up and down. You give him a stink eye, of course, he thinks he’s older, you haven’t aged past the age of 20. You had long lost your actual age or the date of your birthday. You roughly believe you are 5,000 years old maybe a tad younger, you couldn’t remember.

“I look very young for my age!”

“Yeah, sure.” He turns away and begins to talk to someone, The smart man had a radio or phone on him, either way, you would have eventually gotten out of there, maybe taken you a century but you’d get out.

“Ghost do you copy?”

“Affirmative, it appears I fell down a trap and there’s a random lady done here with me.” His strong accent, Scottish from the sounds of things was talking to a fool called Ghost.

You sit down on your throne as old memories of your culture seep back into your mind. The strong smell of the river, of lotus. The heavy sweet taste of honey. You remember the scent that used to adorn your skin the Kyphi only used for a god. Whenever you smell saffron it hits you like a truck.

You could no longer remember the memories but your heart never forgot the sensation of those times long passed. You open your eyes to see the man staring at you.

“You look comfy.”

“It’s my throne.”

“How long have you been down here for?”

“A day at most, at least an hour? Time moves by fast for me.” You wiggle your fingers at him, he nods.

“You fell down the trap?”

“Yup, I was digging around and fell through,” You explain shrugging and looking down at him. He was mildly handsome.

“There is an escape somewhere here…”

“How do you know that?”

“This is my temple!” You state for the again. The man rolls his eyes.

“And where would this exist be?”

“I don’t remember, this place is about 5,000 years old, I’ve forgotten.” The man sighs and walks around.

“This place is shit for a temple.”

“It used to be filled with so much gold it lined every wall.” He turns to me shocked.

“And what happened?”

“Thieves.”

Soap looked at the girl, she was no older than a teenager. Her clothes look like she shopped at a thrift store, specifically the old lady section. She sat on that throne like she owned it, her crazy ramble might be due to dehydration. She could also be a spy for the opponent.

“What’s your name?”

“Which one?” You cock your head to the side and gaze down at him.

“Your real name.”

“I have many “real names” be more specific.”

“Which name are you using right now?”

“We’ll I have several.” The man glared and walked off. He groans, he is dealing with an absolute weirdo.

The trap door was activated and light shone into this hidden temple. You stand up and walk under the light. The sun felt great on your dark skin.

“Soap you down there?” A gruff-sounding man pokes his over the hole.

“Affirmative.” A rope was dropped down. And soap walks behind you. “After you.” You grimace but climb the rope using just your arms. Your legs dangle like dead weight.

Another man helps you up, and behind you, Soap (another dumb name in your opinion) climbs up to the surface. You look over to see a man with a skull mask on.

“What took you so long?”

“I was looking for the damn trigger.”

“I literally told you where it was.”

“Are you two married?” You asked rearing your arm against your knees and stared at this with a devious smile. They turn to you with a glare.

“No!” A smug smile spreads across your lips, they are funny. You stand up and put on your backpack that you stowed under the sand.

“Well you two love bird have fun, I need to return to my—“

“You're coming with us.”

“Eh?”

The next thing you know you’re strapped down to a chair surrounded by 4 big guys. You would have laughed if it wasn’t for the gun pointed at your head— actually, you didn’t care. This situation seems so porn esc.

You look up trying to stop yourself from laughing. You fail and you begin to cackle like a hyena. Tears roll down your face. “Oh meh gawd this is funny!” You say between a gasp of air.

“What’s your name?” The man with incredible facial hair asked you, a cigar in hand. Your laughter stopped and you gave into the man’s face.

“I have many, be more specific.” You tease. You know how this looks, you had many names, you’ve lied so much you long forgot names you give people who might remember you.

“The main one you used.”

“I have like 5 in rotation.”

“What are they!” He bellows, You gaze at him coldly, barely fazed.

“Mary, Nina, Mia, YN, and Pot stealer.” Soap unfolded his arm, did his ears deceive him?

“Pot stealer?” Ghost mutters.

“Now I have to ask, why’d you steal pots?”

“I like pots!” You tell Soap. He stared into my face before covering his and laughing his ass off.

“You can not be serious!”

“Look old people are ruthless when it comes to antique collecting, they always like to throw the term thief. It’s not my fault I’m rich!” You complain. Soap drops to his knees laughing so hard he couldn’t even stand.

“How many— how many pots do you have at home?” Soap asked through gasps.

“Like a thousand or two thousand, I’m not a math guy.” You wiggle your fingers. The binding on your hands is tight. It was constricting the flow of blood.

“YN? She went missing a week ago?” The cigar man mumbles.

“A week? Pogs! Huh, time really does pass by fast.” You smile nodding my head. It was an accomplishment, this is the shortest time you’ve been stuck somewhere no one could find me.

“How are you still alive?”

“…I don’t know.” You truly have never figured out how you became immortal. Just one day you stop aging and never age past that point. You have seen husbands, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren die, yet you were frozen in time.

“How don’t you know?”

“I’m immortal.” Everyone stared at you with eyes that said it all. You are stupid and a little bit crazy in the head.

“Yeah right.”

“So you really think you're immortal?” The mustache man asked.

“Shoot me in the head and you’ll see,” I state back.

“The news reports you’re a photographer, yet why would a photographer have many names?” Ghost asked walking around you.

“For shits and giggles.”

“I think she’s a spy.”

“I was—“

“So you are a spy!”

“Bro, literally what you just did was like calling a thirty-year-old who used to work at a Starbucks in their teens barista, it’s insulting. I haven’t been a spy since the 70s!” You shout.

“That’s like,” you begin to count on your fingers, “that’s like 50 years ago!”

“Did you have to count?” Soap asked.

“I’m not a math person!”

“Either way your sketchy.”

“That is true!”

“Or delusional.”

“That is also very true!”

“She might be working with the enemy.” The only black man said.

“That is less true but go off.”

“For someone who claims to be thousands of years old you sure do know a lot of pop culture words.”

“I feel really connected with this generation. Their want to die is such a valid emotion. Also, I might be old but I’m also 20, so I know shit.”

“She’s crazy.”

“What do you want me to sound like the Bible? Dost thou well to be angry for the gourd?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Thou hast had pity on the gourd!”

They all stare at you confused. Soap opened his mouth and closed it, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m asking you do you expect me to sound medieval?”

“Yes.”

“Art thou a muttonhead?” You state with a bored expression.

“Did you call me dumb?”

“Yay.” You nod your head. If they wanted vintage language you’ll give them Shakespeare flashback.

“If thy willa eald then thine becuman eald.” You state speaking English was a massive gulf ball in your cheeks. It was a mix of the older version of English. It didn’t matter which age it came from if it’s vaguely understandable that’s good enough.

(If you want old then you’ll get old.)

“What?”

“Sceotan me dead, and thy wilt seon.”

(Shoot me died, and you will see.)

“Speak modern English!”

“Imma lives rent-free in your head because I hit different, I’m a whole ass vibe check! And that’s on periodt.” You quickly state. “Y’all being so extra about this it ain’t it, chief. I’m not sus I’m not capping. But this entire situation is sending me!”

“What— what?”

“I don’t know I’m just saying stuff.”

“That’s enough,” the cigar man snaps his patients at its wit’s end.

“Oh poor fool, are you getting tired of me?” You tilt your head before smiling.

“Are you working with the Russian?”

“I’m not snitching on my buddies,” You had no clue what he was asking but you decided to play along. Life has long lost its sparkle. You chose many names and many identities just to amuse yourself. When you fall through the creaks of the lies seeing the world crumble around you is entertaining.

Bang!

You slump over. The world turns dark. You blink and you are alive. You kept your head down. Blood oozed from your head. And the loud complaints of the men make you smile.

“Oi,” you loudly call out causing a few to jump. They turn to you eyes wide in horror. They turn to each other, “Can ya untie me, I really need to get that bullet out my head.” You tilt your head casually to the side.

“I’m waiting.”

------------

1.8K words

First stupid idea idk if anyone will see this lol

If you want more please tell me!

#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #call of duty #141 #modern warfare 2 #captain price #john price #cod #cod x reader #shananigans #idk what else to tag #idk

[britany1997]

Okay okay so….what if Paul found hiiiis girl and maybe fishy was jealous now…..that would be funny

Paul and Fishy: No Other Fish In The Sea

JUST KIDDING I FINISHED IT TONIGHT

Happy to write this for you❤️ Hope you enjoy the next chapter in the Paul and Fishy saga:)

Comment to be added to this Taglist or to my main Taglist:)

🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

Fishy swam around his bowl in silence. He looked at the clock Paul had bought for him and set up across from his bowl.

A pang of worry struck Fishy as the clock flashed 2am.

He and Paul spent every night together. Some nights they’d talk for hours, about anything and everything, some nights they’d sit in silence while their favorite records played, some nights they visited the boardwalk, and once they even reenacted jaws together.

But regardless of what they we’re doing, they were always doing it together. Sure sometimes Paul was late coming back from feeding, or sometimes he’d spend time alone with his boyfriends. But usually by the time Midnight rolled around, Paul was sitting on his bed with Fishy’s bowl in his lap. He’d never been this late.

Fishy felt engulfed with fear by the thought that his friend might be in trouble.

His desperate state was relieved as Paul stumbled through the opening of his alcove into his room.

He flopped onto his bed dramatically, “Fishy, I think I’m in love,” Paul breathed dreamily.

Fishy fought the urge to roll his eyes, he’d heard that exact same statement fall from Paul’s lips time and time again.

Whoever he was obsessed with on Monday didn’t ever make it till Friday. Fishy couldn’t help but feel annoyed that he was brushed off for some late night snack.

“And i know you’re gonna say ‘oh I’ve heard that before,’ but listen Fishy, this is real. This girl? She’s my mate Fishy!” Paul explained.

Fishy’s eyes widened, Paul loved a good time, but he’d never had a serious relationship besides the boys.

But another mate? That was serious.

Fishy let out three bubbles in excitement for Paul, but the same tinge of fear still ran through him.

When Paul gave his heart to someone he gave his whole heart. Fishy couldn’t let this new girl hurt Paul, he may be small but Fishy was part piranha on his mom’s side.

Paul sighed and looked off dreamily, “I can’t wait for you to meet her bud, she’s…” he paused, shaking his head and smiling, “she’s amazing.”

Paul rambled on about his new mate until the sun rose. Usually Fishy was content to listen to him share every little detail of his night. But tonight felt…different. Paul’s attention was clearly somewhere else.

As Paul moved to hang from the ceiling and Fishy’s movements stilled as he drifted to sleep, he couldn’t rid himself of the gnawing feeling that things we’re going to change between the two of them. Fishy pushed the thought from his head before falling asleep.

Nights passed by and Fishy saw Paul less and less. He found himself watching the minutes on the clock tick away, hoping, praying Paul would come back to him.

Paul had begun to return to the cave later and later. Once, he’d even flown into his room just as the sun was rising, batting flames from his jacket.

After the tenth night, Fishy wasn’t nervous anymore. He was pissed. Paul had totally forgotten about him! Fishy was sure of it. And for what? Some girl? Sure she was his mate but so were the boys! Paul had always made time for Fishy before, what was the issue now???

Fishy could feel his heart about to burst into a million pieces. Did he even have a place with Paul anymore? Would Paul miss him if he left? Would he even notice? Fishy wasn’t sure.

As Fishy was spiraling into a pit of self-doubt, Dwayne walked into Paul’s alcove. Fishy’s eyes widened at the sight of the tall brunette vampire.

Dwayne’s head whipped around, “Paul?” He called.

When he was met with no response he huffed and began to grab Paul’s clothes from the floor of his room.

Mid-grab he felt Fishy’s gaze on him.

Dwayne cringed, “look if he’s not going to wash his clothes someone should.”

Fishy blinked.

Dwayne chuckled, “sorry Fishy, I don’t speak goldfish like Paul does, maybe there are some books you could recommend?” He joked.

Fishy was unamused.

Dwayne hummed, “he’s kinda been gone a lot lately huh?”

Fishy let out three bubbles.

Dwayne shrugged, “yeah he’s been spending his time with his new mate, kinda got on our nerves, we felt like we never saw him.”

Fishy blinked rapidly. Yes! Finally! Someone who understood!

Dwayne ran his hand through his hair, “I mentioned it to him a couple days back and he’s been a bit better, hanging around with us at the boardwalk more, even introduced us to the girl, she seems nice,” Dwayne rambled.

“He’s a sweet guy you know? Not the most observant though,” Dwayne laughed to himself, “but he cares about the people he loves, once he knew what was bothering us, he fixed it.”

Dwayne smiled to himself, “and how could I stay mad at that pretty face.”

Fishy stared at Dwayne in shock. That was all he had to do? Talk to Paul? Fishy was kicking himself wondering why he didn’t think of that.

Dwayne turned to the goldfish, “this was kinda cathartic,” he realized, “thanks for listening Fishy, I can see why Paul likes talking to you.” Dwayne said as he left with Paul’s dirty laundry.

‘No,’ Fishy thought, ‘thank you.’

Paul blew into his room as the clock flashed 5:37am “hey bud!” Paul exclaimed, popping the cap on the bottle of fish flakes and pouring them into Fishy’s bowl.

Fishy didn’t bat an eye as the flakes fell to the floor of his bowl, he was on a mission.

“What’s wrong bud?” Paul asked, noticing Fishy’s serious expression.

Fishy let out two bubbles and shook his fin.

“You wanna talk?” Paul sat facing Fishy’s bowl, “yeah bud of course we can talk, what’s up?”

Fishy blinked three times.

“You miss me?” Paul shook his head in disbelief, “what do you mean? I’m right here!”

Fishy stared at Paul blankly.

Paul sighed, “no you’re right, I know what you mean, the guys have been saying the same thing.”

Fishy blinked.

Paul nodded, “yeah, I’ve been so caught up with her, I’ve been completely neglecting you, I’m a bad friend.” He said matter-of-factly.

Fishy let out two bubbles.

Paul’s lips pulled into a half smile, “thanks bud, but I’ve been acting like a bad friend lately, and that’s not ok.”

He sighed, “I love my mate, I love all my mates, but I hope you know that no one could ever replace you,” Paul said earnestly.

Fishy’s heart leapt.

“You’re my best friend, I can’t talk to anyone like I talk to you. No one understands me like you do.” Paul shot Fishy a wide smile, “you’re the only fish for me Fishy, I love you bud.”

Fishy blinked back a heartfelt reply. Prompting Paul to reach forward and hug Fishy’s bowl.

“You wanna meet her bud?” Paul asked.

Fishy blinked enthusiastically.

“It’d make me happy too,” Paul assured him, “she deserves to meet all the important people…or um…friends in my life.”

🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

Taglist❤️:

@mickkmaiden333 @bloodywickedvamp @pixielostboy @ghoulgeousimmaculate @misslavenderlady @solobagginses @6lostgirl6 @anna1306 @altierirose @its-freaking-bats @henhouse-horrors @dwaynesbiboyfriend @xxryn @paperbackfangs

#the lost boys #paul lost boys #tlb #the lost boys fic #tlb 1987 #the lost boys 1987 #dwayne lost boys #lost boys #lost boys 1987 #lost boys fic #vampire mates #paul and fishy #fishy

[phantomram-b00]

Okay I wasn’t going to be active today, but I saw this post about Crowley, and I do recommend you check it out it bring up many good points. It does inspire me to make a post about something I’m kinda surprised no one talks about exactly (or maybe they did idk.)

Now keep in mind, I do love Crowley and Aziraphale, they’re both my favorite characters and also my comfort characters/ship. Not just for their good deeds and characterization but also because they flawed. Or as they said in the blitz episode, they shade of grey. 🩶 I just feel like Crowley behaving a bit stupidly here. (But here might have more validity but still felt it was unwarranted)

Now onto the post, probably wondering what I could be talking about The Jim Situation all the way back in season 2 episode 1

So I’ve been meaning to talk about this, but I wasn’t exactly sure if it would be well received or wouldn’t make sense. But I think the post I linked help me have some confidence, as I do feel that people when talking about it forgot that, Aziraphale DID NOT want to help Gabriel at all. He never wanted to see him again after 2019; why would he, he not only approve of the first armageddon but also wanted to execute him (specially but also crowley) and overall was passive aggressive asshole towards him. Why would he ever want to help his toxic ex-boss? He kinda didn’t have a choice here, now he did say no at first when Gabriel asked to come in (I mean— idk about you but your ex-boss who’s naked want to come into my house I wouldn’t let them inside neither just no-) but he did bring him inside because he felt obligated because everyone is looking at him and the naked man friend, I think if things were different I think Aziraphale wouldn’t even think about helping him as another thing, Aziraphale moved on from everything that happen, he’s living his life, he even said so to Crowley when talking how he doesn’t report to them anymore. So the have this happen, just felt like ABBA song “Mama Mia here I go again”.

But another thing is that, Aziraphale also (while hesitantly) want to know what happen to Gabriel? Why has he forgotten about himself or really everything? And asking him or the empty box didn’t solve anything at all. As patient as aziraphale is, even his was running really thin as he talk to Gabriel. Not to mention of the fact Gabriel revealed that something terrible might happen which understandably terrifies Aziraphale. So, he turns to Crowley, which gifted us Nina asked about the naked man friend (Sorry I love his face when she drop that, the expression speaks so much volume I love it! XD)

Okay back to my ramble, now at first I’ll give the benefit of the doubt of why Crowley was kinda suspicious at first, Aziraphale wasn’t being up front about it at first (though to be fair, trying to tell someone “hey my naked ex-boss is in my bookshop and doesn’t know who he even is” is probably the most bizarre to even try to explain or tell anyone). And then as they go inside the bookshop, he got spooked rightfully so, this was the same person who wanted to kill Aziraphale, even saying the worse thing he can ever say: “shut your stupid mouth and die”. So to see him again, yeah, being scared is a valid response even as well as being showing keep resentment.

But, as they went to the very Va-Va-vroom yellow backroom, Crowley first idea was to take Gabriel somewhere far away, which if you really think about, wouldn’t solve any of their problem. It like putting a bandage or tape on a crack, sure it might help for now but more cracks will come up and will eventually break (I’ll get back to this later). What aziraphale said kinda valid, Gabriel does need them because who knows if this something terrible would only affect Gabriel, it could very well affect him or even Crowley or earth, so in Aziraphale’s view helping him out might neutralize whatever’s going on or will happen and taking him to dartmoor as Crowley stated do anything.

Now okay to give more benefit of the doubt, again, I do understand why Crowley was acting this way, and Aziraphale selflessly helping Gabriel is infuriating for him. As Crowley seeing this as “how can you help the person who want to murder you? How can you look past and forgive them this easily? How can you possible find it in your heart to help him after everything?”, which is pointing out Aziraphale’s flaws, him being selfless and need to help. Gabriel could’ve curse him out or bring him down to his lowest yet he still want to help. Now, there nothing wrong with being selfless, it an honorable thing to do, however, it become an issue when your selfless without thinking how it’ll affect you or the person involve. But, as I mention before, Aziraphale never wanted to help Gabriel, the only reason Aziraphale’s want to even do far as help this angel is because 1) he was obligated to as who else could possible help an amnesiac angel? 2) Gabriel mention something terrible will happen, so aziraphale want to know what can that be to prevent it. And 3) he’s pushing away his qualms against gabriel aside just so he can help him. So I don’t think Aziraphale’s exactly wrong for not wanting to sent Gabriel away as it wouldn’t solve the something terrible.

But Crowley doesn’t want to help (at first), so Aziraphale despite desperately loving nothing more but for Crowley to help him; said he’s welcome to go. He’s at least giving Crowley the opportunity to choose. Even though, Aziraphale want his help more than anything as the one thing both of them share is that, they don’t want to see Gabriel anymore. However, with aziraphale telling him he can go, Crowley well leaves. But not before (granted he did try to calm down though):

Aziraphale while most likely understands why Crowley left, I feel given his expression just wished Crowley tried a little harder rather than just walking away that easily. I almost said maybe he also feels envious that Crowley got the choice to walk away from this but I don’t see Aziraphale as someone who’s envious to that degree, but I feel Aziraphale wasn’t at least wishful he could avoid this whole Gabriel thing more than Crowley. But it just their luck.

Okay back to Crowley again, so we back to see him inside the car and then he is teleported back to hell by Beelzebub, there Ze tell Crowley what Shax mentioned before that Gabriel is gone and try to bribe Crowley by saying he can name his own price and even get his job back. Then tells Crowley that heaven up and arms about the disappearance and will dealt with anyone who’s helping Gabriel with extremes sanctions. Which absolutely mortified him because then there that possibility of being erased from the book of life.

And no, I don’t think Crowley’s original plan would’ve solved anything because in a way, that’s still helping Gabriel in some way. Does it more or less benefit Crowley and aziraphale yes but not by the long run. Like I said, it’s putting a bandage/tape on a crack, it could hold but not for long as it will ultimately fall apart and they would still be punished by doing this. So I think that’s why I never got why he still said “no no no aziraphale what have you done!?” Like sure even though I said my benefit of the doubt, I feel he should’ve at least understand this wasn’t Aziraphale’s choice neither, or even that this isn’t all on aziraphale anyway. It was Gabriel that just showed up and came to Aziraphale’s bookshop in the first place, so this was sprung on him. So I felt this was kinda irrational for him to think this way as Aziraphale never wanted this at all.

So Crowley comes back and Aziraphale decides to play petty (which sure valid since he did walk away but he did give him a choice? Idk it complicated), and Crowley goes on to say he was right which prompted to aziraphale wanting the apology dance from him (which okay imma be real, I have a headcanon where I think Aziraphale was dying to see this day. Been waiting until they first invented it which— I’m curious who idea was this.)

Now, you can debate if this thing was apology dance worthy but frankly, to see the dance, peak performance. But this isn’t about the dance, it about the grey heroes so let get back into it. Now Crowley does decide to help after all, and they decide to do what it seem to be the most powerful miracle anyone probably have ever seen or ranked. And it was only a half miracle. Which is really interesting. But I think even though Crowley does decide to help, I felt his earlier action was not exactly stupid but was unfair toward Aziraphale but at the same time it valid because of what I’ve stated and his underline trauma towards heaven period, so I can’t really call him stupid for this, but more or less deeply flawed here. However while the situation itself was unfair for Aziraphale as he want to help whatever going on I felt he should’ve also been more considerate about Crowley’s feeling with this whole ordeal as was equally unfair to Crowley in a way too. But I think the most common thing is that they don’t want to do this and want this thing to be resolved so they can move on with their lives. And even if Crowley did what he did, at least Aziraphale foot at forgiveness :) (I hate myself for making that joke— someone sedate me)

Now that’s my thought, this probably is controversial, so you’re welcome and valid if you disagree or even agree with this. Tell me what you think or if you agree/disagree tell me why? If you guys do have good omens question or question in general you can ask me on the AMA. But if you have any commentary on this blog you can unleash them, just please be mindful that’s all I ask. I have more analysis I got plan but for now, imma head to bed and relax. I’ll go haunt with you guys later but for now I’ll go haunt somewhere else. Hope you enjoy this blog and please check out the post I link on here, it was an interesting take and help me inspire me to make this one ^v^ so hope you enjoy that post too.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens fandom #good omens discussion #good omens analysis #aziracrow #anthony j crowley #good omens season 2 #aziraphale good omens #good omens aziraphale #they’re both flawed but that’s why I love them #i love this ship so much #i can talk about them forever #good omens beelzebub #good omens jim #good omens gabriel #good omens apology dance #good omens is here to stay you guys #give me season 3 or give me death #crowley good omens #brainrot #good omens spoilers #good omens crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #this one a long one I’m sorry I just have so much to say #please no hate

[emadarkblog]

what difference does it make (4) ♡ max mayfield

♡ [you tell her everything you feel towards her, but her reaction surprises you]

warnings: none?

♡ max mayfield x fem!reader (she/her)

♡ part 3

“i’ll just- you know” steve said as he pointed at the door. you nodded, awkwardly shifting on your feet.

“i- we- i’m dying,” you said as you avoided her eyes, “and max, god how do i say this? i’m so so sorry i didn’t tell you. we would talk again, we would be best friends again. and now we don’t have much time, i ruined it, like always.” you started to tear up, finally glancing at the girl.

“what? but- h-how do you know?” her voice was barely audible and her tears started to fall. your heart shattered at the sight.

“headaches, nightmares, zoning out. i just know it, i feel it. and i know i’m supposed to die tomorrow so good luck with finding a solution because i already gave up.” you sighed as you looked at your feet, avoiding her completely.

“we will save you. i will save you.”

♡

you were looking for your favorite redhead, you were gonna confess again, you were gonna explain your feelings. you were ready to let it finally out.

“max! max. hi.” you said breathlessly as you finally found her, confused.

“hi?”

“i feel it coming. he’s close and i can’t give you just a letter. i want to say it by myself so i can die in peace or whatever. so please sit with me so i can do this.” she nodded and you both sat on a bed. you took a big breath as you looked at your letter, trying to figure out how to start.

“dear maxine mayfield, well, you hate it when someone calls you maxine, but i think it’s the most beautiful name i’ve ever heard.” your eyes shifting between her eyes and your letter.

“i’m so so so happy that you were- are my friend, best friend, and finally a crush. to be honest, i’m not really surprised that it’s you who had caught my eye. your incredibly perfect personality charmed me. so did your eyes, hair, and- actually everything about you is attractive. i really really like your ocean eyes, they’re like a symbol that you’re from california…” your letter long forgotten, “…and god- i love your freckles- they’re beautiful, especially covered in sun, they’re perfect even if you hate them. i love that you like me even as a friend. you don’t have to love me back, i want you to be happy. i love your soul, your heart, your brain and mind, and it’s true even if you think otherwise when you’re feeling down and you think you look bad and ugly- which is not true at all. i love you on your good days, on your bad days. i love you when we’re fighting, when we’re cuddling, when we are pranking each other…” you finally stopped rambling and took a big breath, “…i’m in love with you, zoomer.”

max stood there emotionless, just looking at you, but as you were getting more and more anxious she smiled. god, you loved her smile.

“well, well, well. y/n y/l/n finally confessing. sorry to break it to you but i don’t love you. actually i don’t even like you as a friend.” her smile grew wider. you were speechless and obviously hurt and confused, not knowing why she acted this way. she slowly walked towards you, getting closer and closer.

“how does it feel, y/n?” her voice now changing into a deeper one, her eyes white, “how does it feel to be unloved. everybody hates you, y/n. your friends, your family, even you hate yourself. so tell me, how does it feel?” you blinked and max disappeared. and there he was… vecna. you instantly ran away, looking for boys in other rooms or someone somewhere only to see if this is real or in your head, but you were unlucky.

everything changed and you were stuck in darkness, all alone.

taglist: @yan-yans-addiction @celestialslcver @pinsku @aahdiieb

#stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagines #stranger things #lesbian #max mayfield x fem!reader #max mayfield x female reader #max mayfield x female!reader #max mayfield fluff #max mayfield x you #max mayfield x reader #max mayfield angst #max mayfield x y/n #max mayfield imagine #max mayfield #maxine mayfield x reader

[spartanguard]

sons of love and death, 6/13 {CSSNS 23}

Summary: After the Final Battle, Killian Jones had finally settled into his happily ever after with his wife and family. Until a new foe arrived in Storybrooke: the infamous Dorian Gray, who looks rather familiar—one might say identical—to the pirate, and he’s on a mission: to claim the powers of the Dark One for himself. There’s only one problem: the Dark One no longer exists. What follows is a journey of vengeance, revelations, magic, and finally facing down the darkness within himself that Killian thought he’d finally put to rest. [roughly canon divergent from 5B, though set post-canon] A/N: Back again; cruising right along with another update of my @cssns story! (A bit later in the day than usual but hopefully no one minds :D Next week will probably be similar as I'll be instructing at band camp with spotty reception, but it should still be up at some point on Wednesday!) Hope you like it! (As always, thanks to the best beta, @optomisticgirll​​​​ !) rated M | 4.3k words | AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

“Again.”

“Must I?”

“Yes.”

“Fine,” he huffed.

To say Killian’s magic lessons were going well would be a severe overstatement. Emma had tried to gently start teaching him to use his powers in much the same way Belle had, though with a bit more expertise. But considering her use of magic was purely instinctive, they hadn’t gotten very far. (Besides, it had been night time, and it was just the two of them…they ended up making a more figurative kind of magic together, as they so often did.)

Now, the following morning, she’d insisted they bring Regina into the fold. To the queen’s credit, she was a better teacher—stricter, but he honestly responded to that better; his instructors in the naval academy certainly hadn’t gone easy on him. 

However, he still hadn’t made much more than a ripple, and he wasn’t even sure that was him. They’d convened on the deck of the Jolly Roger—somewhere he felt comfortable, and where his powers likely already had a connection—and a glass of water sitting on a barrel was the object of his attention. But in the time they’d been there, he’d only managed to make the water slosh around a bit, and he couldn’t rule out it being caused by his own stomps of frustration or the bit of rolling waves. 

Emma gave him an encouraging smile, though, so he focused on the glass again, willing the water to do something—anything. There was a feeble sparking in his palm, and he tried to use his fingers to guide the surface of the water into changing from afar. Briefly, a small droplet pulled up and hovered over the rest, but he was only able to hold it for a second before it slipped away and fell back in.

He huffed and wiped the sweat from his brow. “This is impossible.”

“If you keep insisting it is, then yeah,” Regina snapped back. “You just have to focus.”

“Focus on what?” he demanded. “I’ve stared at that glass hard and long enough to give myself a headache and nothing’s happened. So it’s more than a lack of attention.” 

“You need to focus on the power—and then, how you want to use it,” she finally explained.

“Yes, because I know how to do that,” he griped, then frustratedly ran a hand through his hair.

“You did at one point,” she stated. “I seem to recall getting a firsthand taste of your command of the Darkness.” She nonchalantly rubbed her neck to remind him (as if he’d forgotten).

“Aye, but I wasn’t fully in charge then. The Darkness just…knew,” he answered. “It was reflexive. It’s a bit easier when you have hundreds of years of experience whispering in the back of your mind.”

“Well, at least we know it’s there,” Regina muttered. He was about to tell her off again, but she was looking at the glass—where a tiny whirlpool was currently spinning.

He looked at his hand again, and the glow was back. Emma was suddenly at his side, and carefully took his hand in hers. “Okay, do you feel that? The magic?” she asked.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Take a deep breath; relax.” He tried to do as she told him. “Okay, now close your eyes, and only pay attention to your hand. Does anything feel different?”

He followed her lead again, shutting his eyes and turning his attention to his upturned palm. It did feel different—warmer, somehow. “It’s like there’s something…simmering, almost, just under the skin,” he described.

“Good,” Emma encouraged. “Do you feel it anywhere else?”

He furrowed his brow in focus, giving it a shot and trying to notice if that sensation was anywhere else. It was faint, but he could feel it flowing up his arm, through his veins, right around to his heart. And the more he paid attention to it, the stronger the feeling got.

“Yeah; it’s—it’s everywhere,” he gasped, almost incredulously. How had he not noticed that?

“Mhmm,” she replied. “It feels like that for me, too—like a well, deep inside. So hold onto that, and open your eyes.”

He breathed in sharply—the light in his palm was glowing even stronger now, and much steadier than it had yet. 

“Try something,” Emma encouraged. 

He focused again on the glass and this time, rather than the accidental whirlpool, he did the opposite and made a waterspout draw up and dance on the surface. He chuckled to himself, even—amazed he’d actually done it. 

“Now was that so hard?” Regina commented, and any pride he’d had was immediately gone, replaced with annoyance, and the waterspout violently exploded in all directions (but mostly Regina’s). 

“Hey—that was great,” Emma jumped in, taking his hand in hers. “Let’s try it again.”

For a while longer, they kept at it, and he did have increasing levels of success—mostly when he focused on Emma and how she had described the feel of her magic. The more he used it, the more he felt it—but, at the same time, the more he realized it had always been there. Where the Darkness had felt foreign, like ice in his veins, this felt organic—like a muscle he was learning to use in a different way. Looking back, it was probably why he’d always felt the most at home on or near the sea—not just due to his upbringing.

But often enough, he felt overwhelmed, and his anger boiled over—almost literally. Regina had to magically fix the glass several times after an emotional reaction led to an explosion. 

“If you could just get that level of power under control, you’d be a pretty fearsome opponent,” Regina commented as she put the cup together again. 

“Should he, though?” Emma countered, sounding concerned. “I thought it was a bad idea to use anger like that—you know, the whole anger-leads-to-the-dark-side thing?”

“It can,” Regina conceded. “I’d know more than anyone. But I also let that anger and heartbreak consume my entire being; Hook—you’re past that,” she told him. 

“True, but you know as well as any it’s a daily choice,” he replied. “Maybe it’s too late for me to master this,” he sighed, staring at a knot in the deck. “There’s no way I’ll ever catch up to Dorian.”

“He may have learned how to use his magic sooner, but you both have the same potential—especially with elemental magic,” Regina said. “And I’ve never known you to give up on anything,” she smirked. 

Well. He wasn’t used to encouragement from Regina, but if she thought he could do this, he supposed there was a chance he could. 

And when Emma gave him a supportive grin, he felt like he could do damn near anything. 

It came easier after that, though he was still very much a beginner. But eventually, all the water in the glass was contained in a swirling orb, hovering above the glass. He was sorely tempted to send it Regina’s way, but was mostly feeling a sense of pride at accomplishing that much. 

However, the moment he began to feel confident, it faltered and splashed down on the crate. 

“Well, bare minimum, you could be a one-man fire department,” Regina quipped. He shot a half-hearted glare over at her; but with the way his brother was keen on setting fires around town, it wasn’t a terrible concept. 

Regina had to leave for an appointment then, and poofed away after her farewell. “Showoff,” he muttered as the smoke dissipated. 

“Hey—you’ll get there,” Emma assured him. “Everyone starts somewhere.”

“I know,” he sighed and put an arm around her, wanting to have her close. “But how many people started learning magic at 193?”

“If you were able to figure out a smartphone, you can figure this out,” she tossed back, chuckling. 

He nodded and half-smiled. “I just…I still wish I didn’t have to. I don’t want to,” he confessed. 

“I know,” she conceded. “But remember—it’s just precautionary. Although, I do have to say—I like the idea of two hot magic users who also happen to be True Love,” she added, turning in his hold to wrap her arms around him. “Literal power couple, us. Kinda turns me on,” she added in a low voice. 

They shared a laugh—and a deep kiss—at that. He had to admit he liked that idea, too; even when they’d been the Dark Ones, there was something satisfying about their shared level of power. This, however, was a much-preferred situation. 

But as they walked home hand-in-hand, he still had worry in the back of his mind: that he might yet give into the darker, more powerful impulses he’d seen corrupt others, like Gold and Dorian, but most of all—his own sordid past.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・🗡・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

When Dorian eventually (blearily) blinked his eyes open the next day, his head was pounding and the sun was well into the sky; so, an average morning for him. 

Voices drifted up on the wind; the fact that they hadn’t knocked him off the bench indicated his cloaking spell had held. There wasn’t even a pause in their conversation when he shifted in his horizontal position and the empty whiskey bottle fell to the sidewalk, shattering. 

He rolled over to look at it, then with a flick of his hand, heated the pieces until they melted and then let them cool, looking like permanent puddles of water on the concrete. 

A familiar voice filtered through the din of people speaking from…wherever they were—his own. He squinted and looked around, not willing to sit up just yet, but was still able to find the sailing brig moored a few berths over. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed it last night, but he’d been a bit preoccupied (and inebriated). 

And there, on the deck, was his brother, alongside the sheriff and the Evil Queen. His vision wasn’t the sharpest in his hungover state, but it appeared as though Hook was attempting to harness his own magic. “Good luck, brother,” he scoffed; it had taken him the better part of 15 years to get a grasp of his own powers and was still honing and mastering them, even after more than a century and a half. 

For a while, he watched the attempts to teach his brother, and felt an odd sense of relief at how poorly he was doing. So that wouldn’t be an obstacle to him. 

But another fact was made glaringly obvious: Killian had allies; Dorian did not. 

He should probably do something about that. 

However, he knew that the two dark magic users he was aware of in town were not going to be available to him—Regina was clearly helping his brother, and the former Dark One was unlikely to assist someone who was out for his blood (the amount of which would not be small). 

But in a town this big, with this many magic users from their home realm (among others), there had to be another. 

He waited and watched (and sobered up) while Killian continued his attempt at figuring out magic. It was hard to imagine someone that averse to learning sorcery had ever been the Dark One. There were a few moments, though, where he could feel that small piece of it flare up—when Killian was visibly angry or frustrated. That was good news; it meant that there was plenty of power left in that remnant. 

It was simmering when their lesson finished and Hook shuffled off somewhat dejectedly. That was definitely something Dorian could use to his advantage. But now that he was alone, it was time to track down more resources. 

He took down the protection spell and closed his eyes to focus. There was a hefty combination of both dark and light magic in the very soil of this place, but the traces of it floating in the air were remnants from the various magic users. 

After meditating for a minute, he found one thick thread of dark magic and a few smaller ones; some of the thinner ones were Dark One leftovers, so he ruled those out, and started in the logical spot by following the larger strand. 

However, he should have anticipated it leading him to the cemetery. And not even to Regina’s vault—to actual graves. He didn’t know who they were, but Cora Mills and Cruella de Vil were unlikely to be of any help. 

So he picked the next invisible string and followed it across town. Thankfully, it passed by a convenience store; he didn’t go in, of course, but he did magically shoplift a bottle of water and some aspirin for his still-splitting headache. (The one thing he’d never found a magical cure for was a hangover. But it wouldn’t be an issue when he was immortal and invulnerable; he was only the former at the moment.)

The thread dragged him up and down some rocky hills and through a fair chunk of the forest, until finally bringing him to a clearing where there sat a small farm. Both the barn and farmhouse were weatherworn but tidy, save for a gaping hole in the barn roof. 

Something powerful was resonating in the barn, and he had to investigate. It got stronger as he got closer, and based on the sigil carved in the dirt, he knew that someone had once cast a powerful curse here. 

There was more Dark One residue lingering in the storm cellar across the clearing, and if he wasn’t mistaken, a cage inside; had this person kept Rumpelstiltskin captive, or one of the other two? If so, then he desperately needed them on his side. 

He could see a light on in the second floor of the house and movement behind a curtain. Looked like it was time to introduce himself. 

Once on the porch, he glanced at his reflection in the glass of the door, making sure his hair was perfectly imperfect. Then he knocked, and waited. 

A tired-sounding female voice called out “Coming,” but it certainly wasn’t in a tone he liked to hear that word in. 

He also heard…was that crying?

The door flew open and a woman whose bright red curls were as disheveled as her clothes greeted him, with a wailing child in her arms. He was speechless at first—this was a dark magic user? She looked so…messy. 

(Not to say tidiness was key to being a sorcerer, but when you could clean at the wave of a hand, it wasn’t hard to keep things organized and neat.)

She looked at him almost in exasperation. “What do you want, Hook?” she sighed. “I’m kind of in the mid—”

A shrill alarm from back in the house cut her off. “Oh, bloody hell,” she cursed, looking over her shoulder. “Here; follow me,” she commanded, and shoved the kid in his arms; he just barely got his arms around the child, some foreign paternal instinct making sure he didn’t drop them. 

The woman ran ahead of him, around a corner; he only hesitated a moment to follow. Just what kind of person was his brother that a dark magic user wouldn’t hesitate to trust him with her child? Perhaps he wasn’t as virtuous as he seemed. 

Or, he realized as he entered the kitchen, maybe this woman wasn’t as powerful as he thought—especially based on the cloud of smoke that came out of the oven when she opened it. 

“I take it you need a hand,” he assessed. 

“Haha, very funny, Captain,” she deadpanned as she pulled out a very burnt meatloaf and practically threw it on the table. She stared at it dejectedly for a moment, then looked back up at him. 

She looked confused for a moment, and it was obvious when she looked at his hands—and everything clicked. 

“Who the hell are you?” she barked, moving almost impossibly fast to grab the still-crying toddler from his arms. “And what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he replied, magicking away some baby drool off his jacket. “I followed the scent of dark magic over here, all the way to you. And I was wondering,” he started, stepping closer to her and tilting his head down, “if you might be interested in making some together?” He stared up at her through his lashes, a move few women had been able to resist. 

To his horror, though, she just rolled her eyes. “You’re clearly related to him,” she scoffed. “And you’re definitely not my type. Besides—don’t have my magic anymore, so you’re wasting your time.”

“You don’t?” His question sounded far more like a whine than he’d intended. 

“No. Believe it or not, there are things more worthwhile than having powers.”

“Bloody hell, why does everyone in this fucking town give up their magic?” he cursed, then threw himself down on one of the dining table chairs. 

“Don’t get comfortable,” she bit out while bouncing her child. “And I’d tell you, but honestly, you have to learn it on your own. I certainly did.” She smiled at her little one, even though it did nothing to calm them down. But a steely gaze was back on her face when she looked up at him. “Now please leave, whoever you are; my daughter is hungry and you’re disturbing her.”

He’d never received such poor accommodation as he had in Storybrooke. But he knew a losing battle when he saw one—at least, where the fairer sex was concerned. 

“Alright. It was not a pleasure meeting you, Miss Red. Take care.”

He didn’t waste any time in leaving and poofed away, strategically transporting to the empty hall of Granny’s Bed and Breakfast and slipping into one of the vacant rooms (which was…all of them; honestly, it was Granny’s loss, because his gold was worth just as much as the next person’s). 

He took a seat on the mattress, but not after putting a soundproofing spell on the room—he could tell by sight the bed would creak. 

And then he flopped backwards on it dramatically. For the moment, he was going to let himself wallow in defeat at his lack of allies. (Another bottle of whiskey should help.)

But he did learn one valuable thing today: he wasn’t going to accomplish anything as himself—not when his brother’s apparently good reputation stood in opposition to his own. 

He’d long been aware of what kind of man Captain Hook was. Perhaps he should remind the town of that—and Killian, too. Especially if his brother was going to continue to hone his own powers—Dorian either needed to shake his confidence, or trigger the Darkness as much as possible.

He knew, however, that no one would listen if he just went about town, shouting the pirate’s indiscretions for all to hear. No, he was going to have to be a bit more calculated than that—a bit more devious. 

Callous, concentrated on evil, with stained mind, and soul hungry for rebellion, Dorian Gray hastened on.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・🗡・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

A couple centuries ago

On the opposite side of the realm from Cailleach, in an opulent but somewhat cold castle, its out-of-place nursery wing finally had an inhabitant once Zoso had made his deal with the poor woman. True to his word, he raised the little boy like he was his own, with as much warmth as the Darkness constantly whispering in the back of his mind would let him muster. 

Dorian grew into a smart, well-mannered boy, if a touch self-centered—understandable given his solitary upbringing. Zoso assumed that would level out once he went out into the world. But he was altogether careful and conscientious, so he had few worries about the boy’s future.

When the lad came of age, Zoso began to teach him magic. That was the whole reason he’d wanted to take in a ward in the first place: so he could raise a suitable replacement for the Curse of the Dark One. He was beginning to grow tired of the burden of this spell, but had yet to find someone he thought wouldn’t abuse the mantle. After so many years and seeing so much of humanity, he knew most folks, once grown, would not hesitate to make selfish decisions. But perhaps if he raised his successor from infancy, he could ensure it went to someone who could keep the Darkness in check.

(Briefly, he considered passing it onto the boy’s birth mother, but she was one of those rare few who he knew would shoot him down.)

Dorian was a fast learner, studious, and had a natural talent with magic—as though he was born with it. It sparked red from his fingers and tended towards flames, but Zoso taught him how to rein it in, and only had to put out a few fires. He made no attempt to hide the fact that he wanted Dorian to follow him, but was waiting until it was absolutely necessary to inform him of the manner in which the transfer of power would occur.

The boy grew into a young man, handsome and confident, and Zoso began to send him on errands for him around the realm and let him begin to live something of his own life; he hadn’t been completely sheltered growing up—Zoso often took him on his journeys—but it was time for him to learn the ways of the world on his own. He gave him the surname Gray, because of his hopes the lad would be the bridge between the light and the Dark, and sent him on his way.

At first, the bits and pieces he heard about Dorian were all positive: using his powers and knowledge to help people, acting as a gentleman, a general force for good in the world. Not that Zoso was worried about it, but he was proud of the lad, and hoped he’d soon be ready to take up the title of Dark One.

But then…he started to hear less-positive things. Drunken debauchery, time spent in brothels, cases of arson leaving destruction where he’d been. Some of it could be explained by the immaturity of youth, but when bodies began to turn up in his wake, it could no longer be ignored.

Nor could it when some of the books from his library on the darkest types of magic known to man suddenly went missing after one of Dorian’s weekly visits.

Perhaps his experiment had simply failed? Or perhaps there was no safe way to find a successor.

Either way, he knew he could no longer pass on the mantle to Dorian.

So if his dagger somehow ended up in the hands of a despotic but otherwise dimwitted duke, who just so happened to be terribly losing a war that was drafting children into its ranks, then he wasn’t too worried; he only had to hope that one of the parents in the kingdom was desperate enough to seek him out themselves. (He’d put a bug in someone’s ear if it was necessary. But he thought back to Dorian’s birth mother and his original perception of her, and realized that far more than an innocent child, he needed to find a loving parent to pass on the burden to.)

Not a week after the dagger had fallen out of his grasp, Dorian came storming into the castle. “You bloody fool!” he cried out. “You lost it! How the bloody fuck could you?”

“Language, boy,” Zoso answered calmly, reading a novel in his sitting room. He’d told the lad the dagger’s significance—just not its full use.

“I don’t fucking care. That dagger was to be my birthright—you told me so yourself, many times. How could you be so careless?”

“What makes you so convinced I gave it up by accident?” Zoso countered, eyes still on his book. It hadn’t taken much convincing or suggestion to get the Duke to seek it out, and he made no effort to stop him.

“What?” Dorian gasped, the fire in his eyes (and palms) dying out. “But—you said—all these years—”

“Yes, when I thought you would grow into a man worthy of it,” he tossed back. He closed his book, set it on his side table, and stood to walk over to his adopted son. “You really think whoring your way across the kingdom is good preparation to take on the darkest magic of all?”

“Aye, I do,” he spat back. “Why shouldn’t I spend time with the darker side of society before I drown myself in it?”

“That argument would hold water if you were learning anything, rather than just reveling.”

Dorian sneered, cutting a sinister dimple into his cheek. “Oh, I’m learning plenty. Where to find the best wines, the most decadent food, the prettiest prostitutes. If I’m looking at eternity, why shouldn’t I enjoy myself?”

“That’s not how I raised you.”

“No; it’s not. Maybe it’s how my real parents would have, though.”

Zoso laughed. “I told you a million times: they were poorer than a mouse. Were it not for me, you’d be lucky to be a deckhand on a merchant ship, if you were even still alive. I gave you everything, and I won’t hesitate to take it away.”

“I don’t need you,” Dorian growled. “I’ll get my hands on that power all on my own; I will find a way.”

Zoso laughed. “Good luck living long enough.”

Dorian gave one last parting glare and then disappeared in a burst of flames.

Zoso sighed at his failure, shook his head, and then got ready to leave himself for that hamlet across the realm. He’d have to find someone else to pass this burden to, and fast; he didn’t think it would take Dorian long to figure out how power was transferred.

He took one last look at the nursery before leaving, hoping that neither he nor Dorian would ever see it again.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・🗡・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

thanks for reading! tagging some peeps (let me know if you do/don’t want a tag!) @kat2609 @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @shireness-says @ohmightydevviepuu​ @wistfulcynic​ @pirateherokillian @colinoeyebrows​ @wingedlioness​ @word-bug​ @thisonesatellite​ @killianmesmalls​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @ineffablecolors​ @ive-always-been-a-pirate @nfbagelperson @stubblesandwich​ @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet​ @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells​ @idristardis​ @scientificapricot​ @searchingwardrobes​ @donteattheappleshook @jrob64​ @the-darkdragonfly​ @stahlop​ @klynn-stormz​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @bluewildcatfanatic

#cs ff #killian jones ff #cssns 2023 #captain swan supernatural summer #sons of love and death #my ff

[totkdaily]

Day 9: Impa, and the First Geoglyph

I emerge in the morning to find that a Hinox is blocking the bridge. I wonder how stupid they are… I build a blockade out of nearby building materials and keep it between me and the monster as I cross.

It knows I’m there somewhere, but it can’t see me. Fantastic news. 

I find a guy called Gladis near a cave entrance - he says those cave frogs are called Bubbulfrogs - and that there are two guys at Woodland Stable in Eldin who are looking for the gems they drop. There might be some profit in it, if I can make my way there at some point. 

The cave Gladis is near is the North Hyrule Plain Cave - and there’s some strange flags scattered through it. They must denote something… After some searching, I find a secret cavern behind a waterfall - and within is a chest with some climbing gear in it!

That will certainly come in handy.

I ascend through the roof of the cavern - and emerge right in the middle of a geoglyph. 

Cado is here, and I’m glad to see him well. I explain that Zelda is still missing. It feels awful to stand here and tell everyone that I came back without her. But I’m quickly distracted when Cado says that Impa is here, investigating the geoglyph. How did she travel so far from Kakariko Village? Well, Cado and this donkey, I assume. 

As I run to greet her, I notice a huge pillar of cloud to the west. It looks to be in Hebra. It could be the weather system that’s affecting Rito Village. It’s… big. 

Impa has the biggest sunhat I’ve ever seen.

I have to tell her as well that I don’t know where Zelda is. She says these geoglyphs appeared during the Upheaval, and she and Cado are travelling to see them all. Wow. At her age? Purah’s only encouraging her by giving her a balloon to travel easily. And I’m complicit for fixing it. Well, I can’t leave her with only a donkey as a means of travel. 

Impa says the ancients wrote of these geoglyphs, in connection to something called the Dragon’s Tears. "Where the Tears rest upon the earth, we marked down the images to which they gave birth."

From the vantage point of the balloon, the geoglyph looks like a Zonai.

Impa thinks the Tear must be within it somehow. One of the droplet patterns looks filled in, distinct from the other outlines…

There’s a small pool within the pattern. Rauru’s hand glows, and the pool answers.

I see a vision…

Zelda appearing out of light, falling. The stone she picked up beneath the Castle is in her hand. Two figures find her - one wears the same kind of stone around her neck. The other is a Zonai.

Queen Sonia. King Rauru. Founders of Hyrule. I knew, somehow.

Then she's gone. 

Zelda's further away than I can reach. How can I save her from time itself? I think of her alone for all the rest of her years. No.  I can't leave her waiting again. There has to be a way. 

What about that stone she was carrying? If I found another, could I travel to meet her? But I would have to leave Purah and the rest to deal with the Upheaval. Zelda wouldn’t want that.

I can't save everyone. I don't know what to do.

Impa says the geoglyphs might lead to Zelda somehow. I did see another on a hillside from the tower at the Castle. Perhaps they also hold visions, these Dragon's Tears. Perhaps they will help me find Zelda - it seems more likely a trail than these phenomena Purah wants me to find - but I should go and help the Rito if they’re in trouble. 

Impa says the Forgotten Temple is connected to these geoglyphs. Perhaps I should head there - it’s not far from Rito Village. 

For now, I deal with the shrine, and then head to the Stable.

#totkdaily #day 9 #first tear #loved seeing impa again she does not care #loz #legend of zelda #totk #zelda

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Dreamswept: Chapter Ten

Dreamswept: In which Dream’s imprisonment brings out his darker side. Y/N’s mother works for the Burgess’s as a nurse, and after stumbling across what is hidden beneath Fawny Rig’s mortars one summer, Y/N’s life will never be the same. A darkness has attached itself to her and no matter how long she is kept from the Endless in the basement, he has not forgotten her kindness and brief moments of comfort. No, he has not forgotten, and now he craves it. 

Warnings: Explicit Language, Dubious Explicit Material, Edging (Because Dream is a Bastard).

To Note: Dark!Morpheus/Dream x Female!Reader, Inspired by 'Claiming His Queen' by @moonmaiden1996 (Go Read It!).

Word Count: ~2.1k

Previous | Masterlist | Next

“So he’s not getting better?” You pinched your forehead and sighed. 

“No, if anything, his health is failing rapidly,” You explained to Blythe and Joey who were currently on speakerphone as you paced in your room. “Even mother doesn’t know what is causing his decline in health. We’re going to lose him any day, I just know it.” 

“Oh love, are you alright?” You let out a strained chuckle at Joey’s sweet and worried voice. 

“Oh, I’m fine, Joey. Alex… well Alex has lived far longer than I ever expected him to. I’ve made my peace with his impending death already… I’m just worried about Paul, he is so distraught. I think he blames himself for what is happening to Alex, which makes absolutely no sense of course. It’s not like he could have predicted this would happen.” You told Joey in reassurance. “At the very least, I’ve been sleeping a lot better, the sleep tracker Isabel made me get is working wonders.”

“Glad to hear it, babe,” Blythe chimed in. “Speaking of Izzy, did she update you on the boy from Chesters that she asked out?” You clicked your tongue. 

“No, she’s been rather mum about it, either of you know what is going on with her?” Blythe snorted and Joey sighed. 

“She’s being a bloody idiot, that’s what.” 

“Blythie!” Joey scolded. “You know Iz is a romantic at heart. She can’t not search for love.” 

“Well yes,” You chipped in, moving to the window of your bedroom and looking out. Groundskeepers were currently mowing the lawn in the fading light. “But she is also quite spiteful and promised that she wanted nothing to do with the male species for at least a few weeks.” 

“Okay, okay, Isabel’s spitefulness aside, she did actually update me on Kinley, the boy from Chesters. Seems like he’s a nice boy, a little on the innocent side, but way too smitten with our Izzy-girl to even think about hurting her.” Blythe explained to you.

“He’s not her usual type, but I think he’ll be good for her, not to mention good to her.” 

“As long as she doesn’t eat him alive…” You commented wryly. “Listen, I’m exhausted and need a shower before bed. I’m going to have to let you girls go.” 

“We’ll talk later love, have a good night's sleep!” Blythe and Joey chimed back before the call ended. You put your phone to sleep and made your way to the bathroom, humming a song that was currently stuck in your head. Making quick work of your shower, you changed yourself into your sleepwear and started running a brush through your hair as you got yourself ready for bed. It was fairly early still, but you were exhausted and could do well for an early turn-in. Dropping your brush off on your dresser, you turned to retrieve your sleep tracker watch… only to find it gone. 

“What?” You murmured, moving around a few things on your dresser if you had put it somewhere where it could have been hidden, it wasn’t there. You frowned and looked at your nightstand. Perhaps you had left it there? No. Your nightstand was empty save for the alarm box. “Where did you go?” 

“Looking for this, my love?” You gasped sharply and spun around, hand flying to your chest where your heart now raced. You gaped in fright. Sitting in the lounge chair in the corner of your room, was the man from your dreams. His eyes were glowing silver with the strength of a supernova, and you could feel that he was anything but happy. His fingers held up the watch you were currently looking for. You took a step forwards on instinct, wanting to swipe it out of his hands… but the moment you started towards him, he was rising to his feet. You stumbled back in fear.

“You shouldn’t be here, you—“ 

“Don’t exist?” He countered smoothly, his eyebrow raised in amused question as he approached you. “Had I not made it clear that I would come back for you?” You shook your head, refusing to believe what was in front of you. 

“No, no, you do not exist, you can’t exist.” You tried to snatch your watch back, but he only lofted it out of your reach. “Give it back!” You exclaimed sharply, panic setting in. You were stretching now, desperate to get back the one thing that was your saving grace at night. Those silver-blue eyes hardened and in seconds he had his other arm wrapping around your back to tug you against his body. You gasped and tried to jerk backward. His physical touch was terrifying because it was only solidifying his presence and making it that much harder to pass him off as a dream.

“You have no idea what they’ve done to you, my little priestess,” He spoke gently, gazing down at you with adoration. Your gaze shifted to the watch he still held, and for a moment you thought about lunging for it again. But then, as if he knew what you were thinking, his gaze darkened and your precious watch was being crushed in his fingers. You gaped in horror, watching as the ruined pieces of the watch fell to the floor. 

“You broke it!” You cried out in outrage, trying to go after the broken plastic and technology. He didn’t let you, choosing to trap you in an impenetrable, or rather, inescapable, embrace. Your eyes wide with fear stared up into his darkened face. “Why did you do that!?” You tried beating against his chest in anger, to get some sort of reaction from him. But no, he only stared down at you with those softly glowing eyes. “What do you want from me?” He leaned forwards, his face descending towards yours. He didn’t kiss you but did raise a hand to stroke your face with his knuckles. “Please give me an answer, no one is telling me anything.” You pleaded your frustrations at an all-time high. His gentle touch drew across your face until he was cradling your face.

“I want everything, my priestess.” He told you, his voice melodic and urging. “And I shall have my taste of you, now.” Your world twisted, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the man holding you in place with such an intense gaze upon your trembling body. Then you were falling backward and landing on a soft surface, your mattress most likely. Your mystery man was soon to hover over you, eyes blazing brightly with possession. He said taste, that could only mean one thing… Hands ran down your sides to your hips, then to your thighs. You felt your clothes disappear. Face flooding with heat, your hand's dove to cover yourself, but he didn’t let you. No, he swatted your hands away with a scowl. “You think to deprive your king that of which is his blood right?” 

“I— I am not yours! No one owns anyone and I am certainly not a piece of property.” You shot back, firmly pushing against his looming body. “I’m not— I’m not a toy!”

“A toy? Do not insult me or yourself, little one, your value is immeasurable and cannot be condensed into a menial object.” He spoke darkly to you, his eyes swirling in anger. “You are a priestess of Dreams and Nightmares, which makes you worth more than all of humanity combined. I shall lavish you however I so choose for your eternal devotion.” Then he dove in. 

Lips brushed against your bare skin, running along your breasts and giving them soft nuzzles. He was slow with his choices to press kiss after kiss against your flesh, but he had so much time to think about how he wished to pull you apart. How he wanted to see you squirm and writhe in pleasure, falling apart beneath him in a heavenly gale of rapture. He was going to take his time. Explore that which you had held chaste for him. 

That mouth of his carved a random path from your breasts to your stomach, never once giving you relief from the painful embarrassment of your naked state. You were tempted to try and push him away from your body before he got any more intimate with your body. But you couldn’t, an unknown force was directing your body to simply lay still and feel. You opened your mouth one last time to try and talk him out of whatever he planned. 

“I don’t even know your name!” Once more your outcry didn’t cause him to cease his endeavor, but he did shift his explorative path with his lips back up your body. He drew his lips along the curve of your heaving breast, taking several moments to nuzzle your soft flesh and soak in the radiating warmth that came from it. Then he was gazing into your eyes with sparkling universes. Universes that were quickly consuming you like hungry black holes. He was inescapable. 

“Stop protesting what is natural and right, beloved,” He whispered against your lips, his breath mixing in with yours and making you feel all that more lightheaded. You shuddered yet again beneath him. 

That was all you could get out before his lips were diving down for your thigh. A flush of heat burned through your body and your thigh jerked against his lips. Searing heat burned in your veins uncomfortably, lighting up every surface of your flesh with sensitivity. A high-pitched squawk left your parted lips and your muscles tensed. His lips pressed further into your skin, exploring and lavishing the tender flesh as he ever so slowly made his way upwards. His tongue teased and taunted your skin, swirling across it like he was trying to map you out.

The sensitive skin of your inner thigh was well endowed with kisses by the time you could feel the heat from his lips against your cunt. You squirmed in place, chest heaving. Punishing hands were quick to correct your tugs of retreat. With one harsh yank, your cunt all but crashed into his waiting mouth. You cried out at the foreign feeling, barely able to comprehend the long, luscious lick he gave to your cunt. Fingers pressed further into your trembling thighs and you struggled to keep breathing as he feasted on what no man had ever had the pleasure of. You were untouched save for him, and your body ever so sensitive, and your taste, you tasted of sweet starlight. 

Your back arched and one of your shaking hands slipped into his hair, entwining with the midnight stands. His feasting fervor only increased when he felt your sharp tugs upon his scalp. You were moaning now, just short of writhing against his ravenous mouth. The sensations were bringing tears to your eyes and made a burning sensation run through your abdomen until you were shaking from pleasure rather than fear. He lapped up that change, drinking in the pleasure that was now leaking from your body like a tap left open. You dug your heels into the mattress, whimpering and moaning. 

His tongue flicked over your clit and your moan escalated to a cry. He was sucking your most sensitive place and you could no longer think of anything but him. But your ears did work perfectly fine. Soft growling rumbles came from deep within his chest. To you it sounded like a pained relief, like whatever had been torturing him was finally gone, or at the very least, he was finding relief. His tongue swirled through your folds, caressed your clit, and finally delved into you. Stars burst within your eyes and your thighs once again jerked against his hold, wanting to tighten around the head of the man bringing you so much pleasure at this moment. 

Fingers raked through obsidian locks, clawing at his scalp. Your increased reaction to his ministrations only seem to spur him on until you were panting out and nearly suffocating from pleasure. The overwhelming build of bliss in your body all but begged for release and you were entirely planning on letting it have its free reign. But he was drawing back from you, drawing back from your flesh that was coated in your release from his avid and edacious feast. That echoing bliss slipped away, leaving you behind with a hollow feeling. You sobbed at the sudden emptiness you felt. You were shushed and cradled in place, lips delicately kissing away the wet tracks upon your cheeks. He brought such blinding pleasure to you, the kind that stole the breath from your chest. But for some reason, he wouldn’t allow you to fully succumb to the pleasure he seemed desperate to draw from your body. Why was he torturing you like this? What had you done to him?

Date Published: 11/23/22

Last Edit: 4/3/24

Previous | Masterlist | Next

#morpheus #morpheus x reader #lord morpheus #dream of the endless #dream the endless #dream of the endless x reader #dream the endless x reader #dream x reader #the sandman #sandman x reader #the sandman x reader #the sandman netflix

[mommalosthermind]

went to see the geneticist about that whole cancer thing today so. I’m gonna put a read more, because I tend to ramble, and then I’m gonna fucking shout into the void because American Healthcare would prefer if you’d be so kind as to just shut up and die quickly, please.

Sixty minutes. Sixty minutes I spent with this woman carefully explaining to me how this test would work and why she thinks I should do it. forty of those minutes she said things like, “your family history is… a lot,” “Family is only ten percent of the equation so don’t panic too much,” “But your risk is still probably somewhere around 30% and if this test is postitive that bumps right up to EIGHTY—,” (Insert in-depth but understandable explanation of genes and terms I only half remember now but was fascinating at the time tbh)

I loved her, she was fantastic. And then. And then.

She put down all her files and folded her hands on the table. This woman went from sweet and professional and kind right to the type of bone-deep sorrow that’s got nowhere to go so it builds.

“First, I need you to know that I believe in what we do here. It sounds like this test would alleviate a lot of your concerns, no matter what the results. I do feel that you should get this screening done, for yourself and your kids. However.”

And she stopped, and took a deep breath. “The good news is, we’ve passed a law so that a positive test cannot influence your health insurance in anyway. We’re not even required to give them your results. The problem with that, is the law comes with loopholes. If you come back positive, we are legally required to give that information to certain places upon being asked. And if you do not have these programs already in place, it will be very difficult to get them after a positive, because a positive is considered a pre-existing condition. Life insurance companies. Disability. If you ever need long-term or in-home care. These places will look at that positive and, at the very least, raise your potential rates.” “So,” I said, like an idiot who should’ve known better but was too busy focusing on how this test meant I’d finally fucking know just how worried I should be, “You’re saying that this test, which is preventative care, would make it impossible to get the programs I’d need, if and when I actually get sick.”

“They don’t see you as a person,” she answers. She sounds so fucking tired. She’s said this so often the words have carved grooves into her mouth. They probably don’t hurt anymore, but she looks like she wishes they would. “They’re a business first and only.”

“I’m aware of how capitalism works, yes. I’d apparently forgotten how much it would prefer I die without inconveniencing the system supposedly designed to help me.” Then I apologize for allowing the angry millennial in me control of my tongue.

She just shakes her head. “Honey. I’m right there with you.”

I don’t know what the right answer is here. I don’t HAVE life insurance. We can’t afford it. My partner gets his through the military, which means I’m only eligible if we get hitched. But if we do that, me and all three kids lose healthcare entirely. Stars forbid something actually fucking happens to me. “I can’t tell you the right answer here. All I can do is tell you what I’ve seen happen. There was a woman, not too long ago, who’s got a similar background to you. Small kids and all.” The geneticist looks down at her hands. “I told her the same thing. She decided to go ahead despite not having these programs set up in advance.” She puts both hands up, like she’s warding me off, but you and I already know how this ends. “I have to make sure you know, we did not anticipate a positive at all. At all. But she came back positive, and now she’s having a nightmare trying to set up some kind of life insurance to take care of her kids in case something does pop up.” “You mean they’re turning her away, or asking for insane amounts of money, because they’d rather she die than help. Y’know. Like they’re supposed to. Because the healthcare part of this is caring for my health.”

“You’d think,” She said. I wonder how she sleeps, when she’s pulled so thin. How she can still go to work, when she knows exactly the potential, the help she’s offering, and how the system itself snatches it away from her over and over and over again.

I left with her card in my pocket, and the promise that they’ll get me in for that screening if I call for one. Now, a year, ten years. They’ll get me in. So. Do I fuck myself over now, or wait until the threat of cancer becomes a reality, and get fucked over then? I started this angry. It’s probably pretty clear when that drained right out into tired. I’m so tired. I want to cry. This was meant to give us a better way forward. This was meant to answer questions, and let us know how worried we should be about our kids. This is such a small thing. This is SUCH A SMALL THING. One test. 36 genes. So many cancers, the breast and the ovarian I’m terrified will come for me next, like so many other of my family’s stellar gifts. What is the point of this, if I’m going to end up punished so severely I might be denied actual care over it?

I think, really, what’s got me fucked up the most is that I should have seen this coming. I should have known better. I should not have been waiting to put down all that anxiety because I was so caught up in ‘I’ll KNOW.’

Fucking fuck.

The middle kid’s waiting to hear back on whether or not the insurance has decided he’s allowed to have fucking braces, and I thought I’d get to just know my risks of getting sick without there being a consequence. Specialists are telling me I should be so very worried about my cancer risks.

Ten years to even see her. And I’m back at square one, with a pcp who’s going to look at me in a few months, sidestep all my questions and go, “I thought you were going to try and lose a few pounds? What happened to weight watchers?”

What happened is, I’m counting points and counting calories and counting fucking steps and not losing weight, because the body doesn’t work like that. I might be teetering on developing a fucking eating disorder instead, but that’s between me and myfitnesspal/weightwatchers. But also: my weight is not the fucking problem. This was such a small thing. If I end up actually with the cancer everyone’s spent so long warning me about, what then? When it’s not such a small thing? What are the consequences for us then? THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A SMALL THING. QUICK. EASY. I’m not even fucking sick! THIS WAS A PREVENTATIVE MEASURE.

American healthcare is violence.

If it’s like this and I’m not even sick, how fucking awful is it for people who ARE?

Vote blue down the ballot, in the hopes that some fucking day our healthcare will actually fucking care.

#Momma talks #momma rants #delete later #i needed to pour it out soomwhere so boom. Tumblr. #American healthcare #Went from violent to teary to exhausted in record time. #this was meant to be a small quick thing. A nothing even. #Shouting into the void so I can get it out of my head for five minutes. Apologies.

[twopoppies]

Hi Gina! I’m having a little dilemma and am not sure what to do, I think I could really use a wise voice. I’ve been writing ever since I was a kid, being an author always sort of fascinated me. Then, years ago when I joined the fandom and overall became a fan girl I obviously wrote lots of fanfiction. I enjoyed it, sure, but after some time it became draining, kind of always circling around the same topic so I gave it up. Now I would like to write sort of a novel, still not sure what it would be about but I have lots of different ideas. I just don’t know what to do because I know it would take a lot of my time and when I actually sit and think about it I find it… pointless? Sort of. I know I would never have the guts to release it at any point in the near future and writing just for it to be done and forgotten somewhere deep in my computer files feels annoying. Like it won’t get me anything apart from me pouring my heart and soul into it. Eh, I don’t know. Whenever I ask someone from my family they say to go for it but it just doesn’t sit right for me. I’m not entirely sure if I’m explaining this right.

Hi, sweetheart. If you have a story you really want to tell, you should tell it. Writing is “fun” only about a tenth of the time IMO. It’s often really hard, frustrating, anxiety causing, and insecurity provoking. 😆 But even when I’m struggling with all of those things, I’m still itching to write because it’s creatively so fulfilling for me. If you feel anything like that, I think you should absolutely write. Publishing your work is only a part of writing and it’s not something everyone will do—even when they want to!

And, as far as that goes, why wouldn’t you try? I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s honestly super difficult for most people. But if you write something you love, why not put it into the world in some way or another so other people can read it, too? You can use a pseudonym if you feel shy about claiming your writing publicly. You can publish original fiction on sites like AO3, it doesn’t need to be fan fiction.

Last, your comment about not getting anything out of it besides pouring your heart and soul into it is interesting to me. I’m curious as to why that’s how you see it. I’ve only ever published my writing on AO3, but I’ve gotten so much out of doing it—I’ve made wonderful friends, gotten closer to others, touched people with my writing, gotten compliments that deeply touched me, seen myself get better and better at crafting stories (still working on getting even better), inspired both of my kids to start writing their own books… honestly, I’m so glad I took that first scary step (and my first fic was only 9K… you can dip your toe in the water, you don’t have to bang out War and Peace on your first go).

It’s lovely your family is supportive. Maybe you just need to sit down and really dig into what exactly isn’t “sitting right” with you.

#Writing anon