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#vote even if you don’t know the song
hi can u help me pick which 5sos lyric i should get as a tattoo :)
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c-nan · 1 year
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ayakashiz · 19 days
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Alien Stage R6 Analysis
VERY LONG compilation of my interpretations, impressions and unanswered questions about Round 6 of Alien Stage. I just wanted to write this to put all my thoughts in one place so I can finally rest (in pieces). TW for mentions of suic*de/suic*dal ideation.
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The most debated is no doubt the kiss/choking scene and Ivan’s motivation for doing so in the first place. 
I think from the very beginning, even before R3, Ivan was planning to go out with a bang. That’s the immediate impression I got from the comic where he mocks/criticizes Sua for planning to “selfishly” die for Mizi and feel good being the “heroine” rather than having to deal with the trauma of being the one left behind. 
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(I'm too lazy to edit the whole translation as of now, but might do so when I have more time.)
Ivan tells her how he’s “relieved that he’s not the only who’s that twisted” = He’s comparing himself to Sua. He thinks they’re both ‘twisted’ for planning to do the same thing, but from Ivan’s perspective, he at least isn’t fooling himself into thinking his motives are altruistic. He tasted the feeling of being ‘abandoned’, and he knows he doesn’t want to experience it twice. 
He also probably thought that his death wouldn’t be as impactful on Till as Sua’s death on Mizi, and therefore his own selfishness is more justified in his mind. This most likely plays a role in how cold and biting his words are towards Sua –he’s jealous of that difference between them.
I hadn’t noticed this detail the first time I watched the video: Not only did Till look absolutely miserable and defeated from the get go, but he completely gave up and stopped singing at some point. If you look at the video, we can hear the audio that was supposed to be sung, but Till is quiet and still, and THIS is the moment Ivan chooses to act.
Although they do not show the votes at that particular moment, stopping mid song would have definitely taken a hit to Till’s score as it’s basically forfeiting –a huge contrast to his previous match where he didn’t even let his opponent utter a single line.
In response, Ivan doesn’t just walk towards him but throws his microphone to the ground, explicitly forfeiting as well in order to then pull a drastic move like it was foreshadowed in his interview.
The kiss itself imo was the less calculated/arguably unplanned part. He could have just choked Till from the start and it would have gotten him the same if not better results (since it was the act of violence against another contestant that ultimately lowered his score and got the counter to stop). 
That kiss was authentic and for himself entirely, both as a last desperate attempt at conveying his feelings and a selfish way of leaving a strong impression on Till that he wouldn’t be able to forget (a hypocritical move going back to how he criticized Sua). In that sense, I don’t think Ivan was seriously trying to take Till down with him –although that’s up to interpretation. As I see it, that would contradict his actions up until that point.
Till was VERY CLEARLY suic*dal (once again, he gave up singing), and after the initial shock of Ivan squeezing his neck, this fiery, rebellious man who is KNOWN to fight tooth and nail, simply closed his eyes and relaxed his body, waiting for Ivan to end him without fighting at all. 
The thing is, no matter how suic*dal one may be, the fighting response when being actually suffocated is automatic and completely involuntary. People mention there not being marks on Till’s neck but I think the most telling sign is him not going red, not squirming, not struggling or holding onto Ivan’s wrists (again, expected involuntary responses), his eyes not watering or having blurry vision while we see Ivan from his POV, not opening his mouth even a little to gasp for air and not coughing or gasping either when he was finally released.
Ivan definitely had him in a strong grip, might have even made him a bit lightheaded, but the reason why Till could look so relaxed in the first place is because he had given up and was waiting for Ivan to go ahead. If his closed eyes and limp posture were due to the choking itself, he would have fallen or stumbled when being let go, but we see that his eyes open as soon as he feels Ivan’s hands slipping away and he looks shocked instead.
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So then what was Ivan’s motivation, if not to kill him? Yes, there’s the already discussed plan to get himself disqualified. But Ivan glances at the screen only a few seconds after he starts the choking, confirming that the voting had in fact stopped with Till having the higher score. He then goes for one last ‘goodbye’ kiss before continuing to choke him, holding his grip even as he starts getting shot.
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We see a closeup of him, his eyes and hands trembling, looking more frustrated/emotional than in Till’s first POV where he looks rather stoic. It makes me think that the reason he refused to let go was simply because he wanted Till to look at him. 
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They strongly imply throughout the whole video that being annoying or mean or violent was the only way Ivan learnt how to make Till focus his full attention on him, but now even as he’s threatening his life, even as he himself is dying, even after that kiss, Till wouldn’t look. 
It took him getting fatally wounded and realizing there was no turning back to reach a state of acceptance. His bittersweet expression here reminds me A LOT of his smile after Till runs back during the meteor scene, although this one seems a lot more tender. He seems to accept the fact that Till will never love him back, but Ivan cannot stop loving him anyways and he at least got to put his feelings out there. 
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(The parallels here are driving me insane. The way there is light in his eyes in both instances as he looks at Till even while 'losing him' in a way. The struggle between wanting to posses him yet realizing his free spirit/strong will is part of what he loves about him. That last genuine gaze from a character who spent his whole life putting on a mask. Yes I am very normal about this.)
Until then, Ivan’s more tender/vulnerable side is only shown while Till is unconscious or looking away.
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(That soft, loving nuzzle to Till's face has me in SHAMBLES.)
But ironically, it’s only when he releases him and shows him this vulnerability without a mask that Till really looks at him for the first time. I’d go as far as to say that it was this moment, and not the kiss, that finally made Till understand Ivan’s feelings. And in turn Ivan gets that little shot of euphoria as he falls to the ground.
Going back to the survivor’s guilt… I can only imagine it’ll go completely downhill for Till from now on. Not only does he already think Mizi might be dead and is angry at himself that he couldn’t save her (as seen in the shot where he punches his own picture), but now he has most likely realized that Ivan intentionally fumbled their match for his sake –which would lead to the realization that he was the reason why Ivan chose to run back to Anakt Garden after him in the first place, and that choice ultimately lead to his death. 
Even though we see them fighting a lot as children through the videos and comics, it’s also implied that they were always together and they shared some quiet moments –the “Mizi didn’t play with you, I played with you” art, all that art of the main 4 playing together, those bright smiles as they ran away together during the meteor shower scene and Till looking so guilty when he let go of his hand. 
There are a few cute doodles of them for those who are on Patreon, and some more lore in the Anakt Garden kit –so they were at the very least friends in their own way (as best as 2 very traumatized and abused children could), constantly fighting and making up. Which God… it shows that despite appearances Till must have actually had the patience of a saint when they were little lmao.
But what I’m trying to say is that despite what Ivan may have thought, his death will most definitely have an impact on Till and the narrative going forward, and I’m excited to find out how that reflects in the final round (if the resistance doesn’t manage to get back up in time to disrupt it). 
Despite how much I adored (and SUFFERED WITH) this round, I still have MANY questions that were left unanswered, both about Ivan and Till, and the lore in general, and I wonder if there’ll be time to answer them all, as I can imagine the next MV will be focused on Luka’s perspective, the only one we haven’t been presented with.
One of the most pressing questions being: What’s the relationship between Ivan and that alien dog? Did he tame it? It is implied that it was Ivan who somehow led Till and Mizi to it in the first place in that one scene, and if so I wonder what his motivation was? Normally jealousy would be the first thing to come to mind but Ivan wasn’t interested in Till until AFTER he saw him stand up to the beast to protect Mizi, so it couldn’t have been that. 
This is something that was also teased on Patreon and I was looking forward to the explanation on the MV, but it never came, and now Ivan is dead, so the next video will most likely not be too concerned with his backstory any longer. (Which, also, I was really curious about his life in the slums before being captured, auctioned and brought to Anakt, as that would have played a huge role in his twisted personality/dark tendencies –once again teased on Patreon very briefly, but not explained beyond that frame of him looking famished.)
The second is, how is Ivan able to open Till’s collar/muzzle so easily? This is a question I’ve been having since R3, but chalked it up to Ivan being sneaky and figuring out some kind of code to the cell door and that somehow automatically deactivating the locks on the restraints… or something. But with how many times he does it in R6 with just a touch it’s very clear that that isn’t the case and also imo they’re trying to point this out as a significant detail. 
It may turn out that I’m just looking too much into it, but I find it really curious and interesting. Not only is he the only child without a collar (Mizi and Sua still had them despite being just as well behaved as him), but he seems to be the only one able to take them off –or at least Till’s. I’m pretty sure the children wouldn’t normally be able to remove them by themselves as it seems to be a control mechanism. So how can Ivan? This might explain a lot about how they were able to escape, and also add a layer of tragedy knowing that Ivan could have chosen to escape by himself at any point, but refused to leave Till behind.
Last but not least there’s all the human experimentation Till was subjected to, which was the main topic of the teaser and we see the same images show up in the very beginning of the MV. They help emphasize Till’s suffering and distressed state of mind, but then they’re never expanded on or mentioned at all for the rest of the video. That’s a huge piece of lore that I also hope isn’t forgotten.
I mean, I really doubt it will. So far VIVINOS & co. have been incredible with their ability to hold back information and release it at the moment where it’s the most impactful, which is refreshing to see. So I trust we’ll get some answers eventually. 
Really curious to know why they would experiment on an ALNST contestant in the first place, especially one that is undoubtedly talented and described as a musical genius (aka. has good odds of doing well on stage and earning the segyein revenue). A very plausible theory might just be that he was just getting constantly drugged to make him less of a threat/more submissive –like we see on the karaoke room scene. But it might as well be something bigger.
As for my expectations for the next round… I’m still just trying to process this one, as you can see by the sheer amount of text. There are many things left to address, and the Hyuna/Luka confrontation has been strongly teased. I wonder also, if the round goes on without interruption, what would Luka’s strategy against Till be? Would he go for provocation again, trying to imitate Mizi/hint to his recent trauma with Ivan? It probably won’t be that simple.
I mean, VIVINOS has been known for subverting our expectations with each round:
The ominous/callous framing that was given to Ivan by the end of Black Sorrow and the art that followed, making us suspicious of his intentions, only to have him die for love. The lifeless/doll-like framing given to Luka, vulnerable and cornered by flashing lights, only to have him be the cruelest/most calculating one (that we know so far). The rebellious, rowdy, willing to do anything to survive framing given to Till, only to have his fighting spirit completely break and willingly waiting to die by Ivan’s hands. The naive, complacent and passive image given to Mizi, only to have her snap, beat the shit out of Luka and join the rebellion –and with how things are going (and her being the protagonist) I wouldn’t be surprised if she, and not Hyuna (the one who was framed as the most strong and reliable, giving us a false sense of security going into R6), is who will have to try and rescue Till (and Luka???).
There are still a ton of things that keep me awake at night about R6 –my favorite character dying aside. I could talk about it forever, but I’ll leave it here. 
Feel free to share your theories, delusions, interpretations or any detail I might have missed with me. God knows we need group therapy after this as the cute chibi keychains can only heal us so far. Thanks for reading my rambles if you made it this far. :’)
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dearreader · 1 month
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k so i made this poll awhile ago to answer my question on if people would rather spend a date with a swiftie or an anti-swiftie (someone who hates her and devotes their life to hating on her). i mentioned i didn’t have the spoons to handle it being longer than a day and know it was going to be biased as it would start in my circle and would work it’s way out, so i wanted to do a longer poll when i had the energy to handle a week long poll like that. (i’m assuming when i post this, as i’m pre making it, i’ll be in recovery from my nose surgery since i’ll be stuck at home a week so i’ll have more time to monitor and look at the tags)
so nows the time, but i’m going to addendum the question a bit:
*some extra things that came up on the original poll i didn’t elaborate on fully that i want to make clear:
- you don’t get a say in what type of swiftie you get. assume that you’re going to be spending the evening with someone who massively loves her and her music and wants to discuss it. they’ll talk about songs, their favorite lines and meanings, symbolism behind the reputation album, etc.
- YOU MUST TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. even if it’s the anti-swiftie you must talk about her. i understand the sentiment people made on her not coming up, and that’s valid, but that’s not the question i’m asking. YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE EVENING WITH SOMEONE WHOS GOING TO TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT NONSTOP, WILL IT BE THE LOVER OR HATER?
- im just trying to gather a general consensus on this and want to get data from a lot of people which means this is going to end up on people’s blogs who probably hate swifties and are annoyed by them. that’s okay as that’s the point of my question. but if you’re going to go off in the tags about how much you hate her or hate swifties and be an asshole about it im blocking you. you can just simple say “i hate her/i hate swifties” and don’t need to elaborate. you don’t need to sit in the tags going off on how much you hate her and trying to “defend” yourself from swifties. i just want an answer to the question.
- ALSO, this is not an open poll to go harass anyone in general. if you are a swiftie and see an hater in the tags and wanna fight DON’T FUCKING DO IT. just block and go read/watch your favorite media and think of blorbos kissing or whatever, but DO NOT SEND HATE OR HARASS ANYONE.
the hypothesis im trying to prove is that people in general would much rather spend an evening with someone that is going to talk about something they love all night vs someone who will spend the evening talking about something they hate. i want to gather as much data as possible to get a good consensus and if you go and be an asshole to someone because of their tags on this poll, either side of the swiftie to anti-swiftie spectrum, your disproving the point. if you see tags you don’t like just simply block and carry on. understand? k good.
- in general this is not meant to be a very serious or heavy question. it’s meant to just let me pick people’s brains and see what they’d want to do. i just want to get my results and go. just vote, drop your opinion in the tags, and go.
- also, this last part is silly and not at all related to my data, but since i’m forcing you on a dinner date i’ll at least let you pick the restaurant and food you have. so if you could also say what restaurant/food choice you’d want and what you’d want to order i’d love to hear it. sky’s the limit here. go nutz or even very specific on what you’d want to eat. i am trying to learn to cook and don’t know a lot of recipes or different food types, so i’m hoping this will give me a bigger idea of what food is out there to make. (this question is not meant to be a way to stick it to anyone or for you to go “i’ll go to a shitty ass restaurant and take a swiftie/anti-swiftie and make them eat garbage 🤪”, it’s just a fun question to give people something positive to add to the poll if they want. AGAIN IF YOUR GOING TO BE AN ASSHOLE ILL BLOCK YOU.)
- i’m going to be annoying and ask that you reblog for a wider sample size and such, if you don’t want to that’s fine, but i’m going to be polite and ask you nicely.
that should be everything, thank you for reading my long ass list and voting in this poll. i hope you have a good day and such.
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chrollohearttags · 5 months
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THEY DON’T KNOW | e. jaeger
synopsis: your life and relationship in the spotlight seemed nothing short of perfect..that was until everyone else convinced you otherwise.
content + themes: slight angst, engagement/proposal, musician eren x influencer reader ofc, fluff, drama, mentions of infidelity, kissing, brief mentions of suggestive things, nothing heavy, just a sweet story for my favorite ship
word count: 3.2K
📝: this is for my sweet @honeybleed ‘s 90-00’s R&B collab event! (I’m a little late to the party, I’m so sorry about that! 😭) Congratulations to you again on 600, my love. You deserve every bit and so much more!
SONG 🎧: They Don’t Know • Jon B.
* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•
noise…it all seemed so much louder than usual nowadays. Everything sounded so much more amplified now matter how hard you fought to drown it out. The music thudding from the speakers on stages that you danced on, the rain droplets splattering against your window pane and lately…the opinions of every envious naysayer and supposed friend alike.
Telling you that your relationship was a moot point. A mere sham and that in due time, it’d come crumbling to its core. Regardless how strong the foundation was between the two of you, outside forces could still cause it to shatter at any moment. But that was only if you allowed it. You couldn’t escape it either…every other scroll and headline on every media outlet was a photo of you two..some flashy shot of you two kissing and holding hands. Appearing happily in love, only to be followed by droves of comments full of negative and downright nasty things about you guys. Saying that it would never work and you were only a temporary thing who ‘just so happened to make it further than the rest..’ it certainly wasn’t a vote of confidence considering you were about to spend the rest of your life together. For the better part of three years, you had come to know and love the renowned artist, EJ the Don. A man who’s music transcended all of time and pushed boundaries..a generational talent with exceptional skill. At least those were the words used to describe him by a plethora of magazines over the years. On the contrary, others would acclaim that he was a bit of a playboy. That he hurt people at will with no regard for their feelings..sabotaging relationships purposefully so that he was no longer bound to them. He didn’t care about anyone other than himself.
However, you knew otherwise. EJ, as far as you were concerned, was an entirely different entity of itself. You had fallen for Eren..the man who’d leave the studio at night tired and exhausted but still managed to have fresh flowers and your favorite treats in hand. The man who’d curl up with you on rainy days and binge movies. The Eren you loved would comfort you relentlessly until you were far batter. Making you laugh and cheer up with the dumbest jokes..that’s the kind of person he was. So it came without question, when one night on the rooftop of a hotel in Greece; surrounded by fluorescent blue lights, a lavish table filled with wine and rose petals next to the serene pool waters where he asked you to be his wife, you’d immediately accept. Saying yes faster than he could get the proposal out. You were elated to not only spend the rest of your life with him but share the exciting news with the world and those you loved. To your surprise though, you weren’t met with the warm reception that you had pictured in your head.
once the announcement came, the rumors followed and there was no escaping them. Even so called friends were hesitant. Telling you that he used to go with this model and date this girl so it was best to watch out. Some even suggested calling the whole thing off to spare you from future heartache...and you’d be lying if you said that they hadn’t worn you down. That you hadn’t wondered if there was a bit of truth to them. But if there was anything he was dedicated to doing, it was setting your mind at ease and proving all of them wrong.
“…room for one more?”
the voice ringing from earshot and sending flutters throughout the pit of your belly. You’d flip over onto your side with a faint beam as your fiancé made his way over to you. “For you? Anytime..” Kneeling into the mattress as he brushes a hand along your bare shoulder blade, leaning forward to place a kiss on your temple. It seemed that the effects of the dreary, rainy day had taken its toll on him as well. Sporting a pair of sweats and a tank top, indicating that he was finished with his work for the day and ready to relax with the one person who brought him serenity. Ironically, there was something rather tranquil about weather like this..whereas most people saw it as something negative; a literal damper in their plans, some took it as an opportunity to purify themselves. Not so much in a literal regard but it was perfect to just lie here and let all of those feelings that normally wouldn’t make their way to the forefront be known. Coiling one of those toned, tattooed arms around (y/n)’s covered torso, Eren began to mumble into your skin..simultaneously leaving gentle pecks along your arm. “This rain kinda sucks, doesn’t it? It’s so depressing..” “..yeah..it is.” The dryness in your response caused an immediate alarm for your fiancé. That was the thing with Eren..even when it seemed as if he were completely nonchalant and not paying you much attention, he focused on the smallest details and kept note.
there were things about you that he had noticed early on in your relationship and still to this day, could remember them better than you could. “I see it’s already working on someone…” making an attempt at a light hearted joke and even smirking afterwards, hoping that his humor would bring at least a faint smile to your face. He hated seeing you like this..hated knowing that something was obviously bothering you and you wouldn’t tell him the cause. In fact, he picked up on it three days ago when he saw you sitting outside near the pool, glaring off into space at what seemed to be nothing. In the same regard, he wasn’t the type to pry..he knew how irksome he felt when someone pestered him so he figured it best to wait for an opportune moment to confront you. Now seemed like as good of a time as any. He never did well with communicating his feelings either so he used jokes and humor as a means to break the proverbial ice. But luckily, he wouldn’t need some awkward segway because you’d ask him something that would make his stomach turn.
“..do you think we did the right thing?”
admittedly and rightfully so, he was a little confused. What ‘right thing’ were you referring to exactly?
“As in what?”
“Getting engaged..moving in together. Are we really meant to be here?” The words seemed to be spilling from between your lips as if they had been sitting there for quite some time. It was a little insulting nonetheless. As if you had waited for this exact moment. But he’d be lying if he said that they hadn’t stung a bit. He figured the two of you were equally yoked and on the same page. Happy to be marrying your forever person. At least that’s what he felt..were you having doubts? Did you not love him as much as he loved you? What had he done wrong? Swallowing the hard lump that had instantly formed in his throat, Eren proceeded to ask questions, seeing if he could maybe get through to you to figure out what was wrong.
“Is there something that would make you think different? I mean, personally..I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. Honestly, it still doesn’t feel real..”
for a moment, he began to reminisce on the moments leading up to the night he popped the question. Searching relentlessly for the perfect ring..enlisting the help of his best friends and even your girls to ensure that it was one that you’d love. He took extra special care to make the night unforgettable. Eren had even flown to go see his mom to ask for the gift she had given him years ago that he now wanted to give to you..if that wasn’t enough, he’d even taken you to your granny’s grave and asked for her blessing of sorts. He was a wreck, even crying because he was so happy and wanted her to know that he’d take care of you from now on..for the first time in his young twenty seven years, he was truly grateful and he wanted nothing more than to be the ideal man for you. A husband that you’d be proud of..one that you bragged to your friends about over lunch, one that you’d dip out on plans early to get back to. That was the type of relationship he had envisioned; one where nothing else mattered when you two were together. Now it seemed that you were having reservations..
“I’m so scared…” Just then, the sounds of your words were muddled by whimpers. He had no idea that you were this conflicted by the matter..and if so, why not say something?! Flipping you over, he’d be met with your beautiful brown eyes that always seemed to burst with love and excitement were welling with tears that were only moments from spilling. Brushing your cheek, Eren gazed upon you with a worried expression over taking his face. How could he have been so dumb?..here you were hurting and he hadn’t even clocked it. “Why, baby? I don’t understand..of what?” Truth was, you were afraid of marriage in general but even more so, if not being what you envisioned. You were afraid of things not being picturesque and perfect. That you’d wake up one day and end up just like the rest of the girls he’d supposedly dumped. Discarded to the wayside after he grew tired of them. You didn’t want everyone to be right about the two of you! Another passed around Instagram model with nothing of substance to offer, a philandering rapper with commitment issues..the headlines were certain to be brutal. But above all else..you only wanted to do this once. You only ever wanted to walk down that aisle one time in your life. You loved this man more than anything in this world so the last thing you wanted was to take his hand in marriage only to be sliding that ring off a few years down the road. It was a sacred thing and you never wanted to lose sight of that.
“Of this..of us not working out. I mean, I love you so much and there’s nothing I want more than to be your wife but everywhere I turn, it seems like somebody wants the opposite. As if we’re not meant to be. I thought everyone would’ve been as happy as we are. But it’s always something..”
granted, he was no stranger to the gossip either. Between his fangirls and the blogs, they wouldn’t give you a break. They were furious that someone had snatched up their precious EJ and it was some girl who seemingly came out of nowhere. According to them, you weren’t his type, you couldn’t possibly love him the way he deserved and there were at least ten other women who were more fit to take your position. It was insane. Although he was never much for social media and its sick antics, he’d done his fair share of defense for you. Which spoke volumes. After a while, he rid himself of all accounts and focused solely on you. Despite it being how you made your living, he wished you’d do the same. He couldn’t imagine petty accusations with zero basis being the reason that he lost you. It would crush him, truly. Even so, he’d done as he always had at times like these and pulled you close to his chest, swaddled you in those muscular arms and peppered your forehead with gentle kisses.
“Do you remember the first night we met? At the club?” It seemed like such an odd time to be going down memory lane but that’s how Eren was..he could tolerate a lot of things but seeing you cry was not one of them. So he wanted to try a different approach.
“I couldn’t forget. I had such a good time..”
“So did I..hell, I was so nervous around you, I almost messed up my whole performance that night.” The two of you break into a small fit of laughter as you look back on the antics of your earlier days together. The wild nights, the hookups, the tension leading up to you making things official..it was all a journey. You’d find yourself giggling as he held you close to him. You seemed far more comfortable and vulnerable now; able to express your feelings more freely. Which was a great thing for him.
“Please..I couldn’t even concentrate. You kept teasing me and shit. I don’t know how I made it through that without embarrassing myself.” But alas, he’d think it was cute. Watching you stumble over your words, seeing you squeeze your thighs together when he switched up those steamier lyrics to fit you and when he ran a finger underneath your chin, you nearly collapsed! Being on stage with your celebrity crush was not for the weak..
“Yeah, but you did and do you remember what everyone was saying after that? All the bullshit they said about us?” It was something you’d never forget, truthfully. For days after, the infamous photo of you guys hugged up on a lounge couch in the VIP section circulated the web for an entire week. There were countless headlines, alleging that you two were an item, that you were hooking up..the game of telephone had become so terrible that three days later, stan accounts and grown adults alike had concocted stories of you two having sex backstage and him doing inappropriate things right there in front of everyone. Even so called ‘witnesses’ backed up the claims. Naturally, all of it was false but it still didn’t stop people from running with whatever narrative they saw fit. Despite the fact that prior to that appearance, you’d never ever laid eyes on this man, less known did all of the things they accused you of. You were complete strangers..again, it stopped no one’s rumor mill from running!
“Yeah..I do. All of it just sounded like people had too much time on their hands.”
but his point wasn’t quite driven home yet..still clutching you, he’d chuckle once more and just nod. “Mhm..and what about when we first started dating? Remember the dumb shit they said then?” Once again, you’d answer his question, giggling when you recalled how stupid it all was. From the accusations of him being nothing more than a pay pig for some lavish lifestyle they claimed you were flexing online. Or that he wasn’t really faithful because he did a show with a former ‘partner’, who was nothing more than a PR stunt to begin with. Nevermind the fact that she was a lesbian! “Like when they said you were cheating on me with your ex? Trust me, I couldn’t escape that one even if I wanted to.” “Which was crazy because she was way more interested in you than me. Even asked me for your number..” seeing his expression furrow into a silly pout and you couldn’t hold it together another second. You’d burst into laughter at the thought. “I’m serious! She got mad because I didn’t bring you with me..must think I’m stupid or sum’. Little Miss Hoes always pulled more girls than I ever could.” The mental image of a one hundred thirty pound, five foot four blonde stealing his potential prospects had you rolling around and in much better spirits. “You’re a mess, you know that?” Which was his one and only goal.
“Well I’m glad somebody found my lack of game funny.” But truthfully, the only woman he wanted was right here. Which was the entire point of this little roundabout trip down memory lane..it didn’t matter what happened back then or what people claimed to know about him..he only cared about what was to come. The life, the future that he was building with you trumped over anything that they could say. They didn’t know how drastically he had changed for you. How he was hopelessly in love..how much softer and compassionate he had become so he was a better man for you. Even when you weren’t around, his beloved (y/n) was the topic of conversation..oftentimes, his boys would make fun of him for how much of a ‘simp’ he had grown to be. How his voice changed in pitch when you were on the phone, his eyes radiating whilst talking to you..it was the cutest thing! So if there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that he was all in. He had no regrets or doubts about asking you to marry him. He was ready. Anybody from his past was a mere afterthought and he wasn’t missing out. All he could do was pray that you felt the same. Turning your head towards him, EJ looked you directly in the eyes and began to speak.
“Listen, princess..I know it isn’t easy. Being with someone like me. I’m not perfect..not by a long shot. Truth is, I was really selfish back in the day. I wasn’t thinking about anybody but myself. Hell, until you came along, I still didn’t. I had always told myself I’d never let anyone get close to me just so I didn’t have to worry about another person. Marriage, dating..seemed like a foreign concept to me..” this was the first time in his life where he was able to be vulnerable..where he could lay all of his emotions bare. Intertwining your fingers together, Eren pulled them close and placed gentle kisses across your knuckles. A comforting tactic for the both of you.
“But right now...there’s nothing else I want more than to be your husband. To keep making more of these memories..(Y/N), I couldn’t imagine doing this without you. I can’t take back what I’ve done or who I was. And I’m so sorry that you’ve had to be on the receiving end of it. But I don’t care about what happened back then or what they say about us. I love you..I love you so damn much. Please believe me when I say that.” By this point, faint traces of tears began to stream once more. You were no longer sad, hurt or worried but rather..relieved. Relieved that his heart was equally devoted to this as yours. You’d do whatever it took to make this work. Outside interferences and opinions aside..
“And I love you more, Eren. I promise, I won’t let anything or anyone come between us.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
No relationship was ideal and obviously, just like rainy days, bad ones were guaranteed as well but you could always weather the storm as long as you were together..
583 notes · View notes
diana-rose-25 · 6 months
Text
— Let's Dance
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PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3
Style Inspiration
pairing/s: BEBE! Bada Lee x Jam Republic! Reader x Wolf'Lo! Chocol
warnings: None so far, an unrealistic description of being an exchange foreign student, might confuse some words in ballet (as most of them are only through research and not based on experience).
description: A professional ballet dancer in Street Woman Fighter Season 2? (Y/N) Bae, a 23-year-old ballet and dance prodigy enters the fighting arena alongside the infamously known crew, Jam Republic. Making the team's aura far more intimidating despite being clad in soft pink and white clothing, adorned with astonished faces and friendly smiles. As the young woman entered the arena with curious eyes and small smile, the other teams couldn't help but awe at her beauty and elegant aura, unknowingly capturing the eyes of two charismatic dancers.
word count: 9.3k
status: unedited
now listening to:
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"Monika, our fight judge. What will be your criteria today?" Kang Daniel, the host, asked Monika once the commotion has died down. 
"Honestly, some of the dance leaders here have been a dance contest judge for a long time. So, I dare say, I'll be cruelly objective and consider only what I see here. I won't consider my seniors' achievements in the past but only by result."
Shownu followed up next. “Based on what I’ve learned in my music career, and my sincere love for this show, I’ll evaluate your dance honestly.”
“Everybody in here is a professional. I don’t need to tell you that, and it’s going to be whoever’s day it is today. I have much respect for all of you guys. I’ll do my best to be a perfect judge for you today.” Mike Song concluded. 
(Y/N) nodded and clapped in appreciation. The fact that the judges said their objectives loudly and unapologetically made her breathe a sigh of relief. Especially since her senior and former teacher, Baby Sleek, is a participant of this competition. In her mind, and mostly the minds of the others, Baby Sleek is untouchable on the dance floor. 
Her heart dropped at the thought of battling one-on-one with her former teacher. She is confident in her skills and talent on the dance floor, but facing off against Baby Sleek – she’ll be lucky if she even gets one vote from the judges. Everything she learned about freestyle dancing and hip hop stems from her. 
The final person to be introduced was none other than DJ SOM before the rules of the challenge were explained. Each dancer will be given 40 seconds to dance. When it’s over, the judges will hold up their cards to decide the winner. But if two or more judges ask for a rematch, the two dancers will dance at the same time to determine the winner. According to the results, the crew will get a chip to put it on the crew board and count the wins and losses. 
“No Respect, Battle with the Weakest Dancer. We’ll begin Round One!” The room burst into cheers once again when Kang Daniel announced the official start of the battle. 
(Y/N) held up her interlinked hands with Ling and Emma as she cheered and stomped her feet in excitement. “Let’s go!” 
“Oh my gosh, it’s starting!” Ling exclaimed, turning from side to side to warm up her body.
“I’m so nervous right now,” Emma admitted and leaned against (Y/N). The older girl giggled at her team mate and wrapped her arm around her. Running her hand up and down against the younger one’s arm to soothe her nerves. 
“I know! Me too, but this is all so exciting!” 
“Easy for you to say,” Ling nudged her. “You’re the most experienced freestyle battler in here other than Emma.” 
“That doesn’t make it any less nerve-wrecking, Ling.” She nudged the girl back and squeezed her hand. They turned their attention back to the MC as he’s about to announce who will open the first dance battle of the season. “Who do you think it’s going to be?” 
(Y/N) shrugged, “I don’t know. Hopefully they start out the season with a bang.” 
“The first dancer for the first battle is…” 
Jam Republic leaned in their seats in anticipation, holding their breath for as long as Kang Daniel trailed off. Hearts throbbing against their chest.
“From 1MILLION, Redy.” The 1MILLION crew immediately stands up from their seat to cheer their fellow member on. A tall girl clad in white cap, white long-sleeved clothing, and dark jeans stands up and makes her way down the seats. 
From what (Y/N) could recall from the evaluation, Redy started dancing at 16 years old with a unique style. To her surprise, Redy was older than her by 2 years despite looking so young. 
“I wonder who her No Respect Dancer is,” (Y/N) thought as she leaned back in her seat. “Do you think it’s one of us?” 
“Doubt it,” answered Emma. “she might pick someone whose style is completely different from her. Or pick someone she has a bad blood with, it’s not uncommon.”
(Y/N) hummed in agreement, feeling her body relax. What Emma said earlier was true, it isn’t uncommon when it comes to dance offs. Some people tend to choose their opponents based on their past. Personally, she finds the means distasteful and unprofessional; but, it can’t be helped. She, herself, had experienced to being picked for the same reason when she was on competitions. 
“If she picks someone she has beef with, do you think she’ll give us a good fight or not?” Emma shook her head in response. 
“Probably not, it’s usually not a good idea to pick someone from the past. Emotions and tensions could rise and get in the way of a good freestyle.” 
“That’s true,” (Y/N) nodded as she watches Redy walk in front to the center of the arena with a microphone between her hands. 
As Redy started to speak, she walked towards the space of Wolf’Lo, surprising them and (Y/N). “Oh my gosh is she picking one of them?” The girl held her hand up to her mouth in shock when the girl clad in white continued to walk towards the orange team.
“The No Respect Dancer, I choose…” Redy trailed off once again and (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile at her braveness if she ever picks one of the dancer from Wolf’Lo. 
She then turned to the other way, making (Y/N) puff out her cheeks in disappointment. As heavy as the tension is right now, one member of Wolf’Lo couldn’t help but grin at her adorable (from what she noticed so far) mannerisms. 
Jam Republic watches as Redy takes a u turn and walks to the other side of the arena as she announces who her No Respect Dancer is, “it’s Bada of BEBE.” 
The arena erupted in cheers. (Y/N) shoots up from her seat with a squeal and watches as Bada nods her head and stands up, flipping the bottled water in her hand as she did so. 
“That was so cool,” she whispered with a quiet, girlish giggle. Ling and Emma laughed at their team member and joined her as she stands up, wanting to see the commotion clearly. 
“Bada isn’t even dancing yet,” Ling teased to which (Y/N) just hushed her. 
“She’s the famous, trendy choreographer right?” The ballet dancer nodded to Emma’s question.
“Her strongest link is making choreographies. Most popular K-pop dances was made by her. Since she’s more known for her choreographed works, I’m excited to see her freestyle.”  
The two dancers began pacing around in the dance floor. There was a noticeable heavy tension in the air as they both prepare for the fight. Everyone is talking about their past, making the atmosphere heavier than it already was. 
“Redy of 1MILLION, you chose Bada of BEBE as your No Respect Dancer.” Kang Daniel started. 
“I don’t respect you, that’s it.” Redy stated bluntly. Bada placed a hand to her ear as she talks, mockingly insinuating that she’s listening closely to what she says. The room erupted in cheers, even judge Mike has his jaw on the floor. 
“Not Redy, Soo Bin!” Bada exclaimed, using Redy’s real name. “You’re still an eight-grader to me.” 
(Y/N)’s eyes widened at the drama that was unfolding right in front of her, wishing she has something she can chew or sip on as she watches their back and forth. A shocked laugh escaped her mouth when Bada called her an eight-grader. 
“Wait, what did she say?” Ling questions when her ear piece stops working momentarily, unable to catch the insult Bada threw at her opponent. Her expression turned to shock immediately after (Y/N) translated it to her. “Oh, damn. She’s a gangster right?” 
“Yeah,” Latrice said, “I like her energy.” 
Jam Republic laughs as Redy mimicked a baby by placing her thumb to between her lips. (Y/N) claps her hands in excitement as Kang Daniel announces the first attack to be made by Redy followed by Bada.
“Let’s go!” She shouts, bouncing on her toes. 
“The two dancers’ battle begins now. You guys ready?!” (Y/N) claps even harder when she heard the infamous line. “Fight!” 
Music filled the arena and the lights dimmed, the 40 second timer appeared on the huge screen and all dancers are hyped to watch the fight. The first beats of the music started and Redy started grooving into the music, her members cheering her on from behind her. 
(Y/N) watched with keen eyes as Redy danced. The older girl was flexible, that’s for sure, and she is hitting the beats. Redy’s style was certainly unique. However, in her opinion, it lacks in any form of wow factor. 
She still cheered and clapped her hands afterwards and the music switched, signalling Bada’s turn. Her voice increased in volume when Bada spins and comes up to Redy’s face, standing tall to enunciate their height difference without the use of words. 
“I hate it when people use their height!” She giggled when she heard Chocol whined. 
“Oh my gosh!”
“Oh my gosh, she’s so tall!” Ling and (Y/N) exclaimed at the same time. The latter girl hides her face in her hand, parting her fingers so she can still see the battle as she feels them become hot. Their eyes momentarily meets for a second and she swore the corners of Bada’s lips curved up for a second. 
The eye contact didn’t last long when Bada suddenly swats the air on the top of Redy’s head. (Y/N)’s eyes stayed glued to Bada’s dancing, mesmerized at the clean and sharp moves she does. She couldn’t help but cheer at the way Bada hits each beat of the music and the way she grooves. Bada’s time comes to an end as she spits the piece of paper in her mouth. The room erupted in cheers and claps and at the end of the battle. 
“What the heck,” Ling said in astonishment as they sit back down. 
“That was so good,” (Y/N) said. “A great battle to start off the season.”
Everyone returned to their respective seats as Redy, Bada, and Kang Daniel stands at the center for the announcement of the results. When the cards flipped, 3 blue cards appeared at the judge’s hands. 
Team BEBE cheered as they secured their first win, and Bada certainly secured a title for herself as one of the most talented and skilled individuals of the show. The dancers returned to their seats as the judges tells their thoughts about the battle. 
“I was impressed by both of you,” Shownu started, “Redy of 1MILLION shocked me. But, I reckon that Bada’s move suited the song more and she was more relaxed.” 
“I’ll be honest to help you improve, you’re still and eighth-grader even from my point of view.” Emma, Ling, and (Y/N)’s mouth parted in shock at Monika’s comment, feeling bad for the 1MILLION dancer. “But, Bada is certainly out of this league.” 
“Damn,” was (Y/N)’s only comment – watching as BEBE place their first chip on the win score board and Bada attach the chip on the lose side of 1MILLION’s board. 
⁽⁠⁽⁠ଘ⁠(⁠ ⁠ˊ⁠ᵕ⁠ˋ⁠ ⁠)⁠ଓ⁠⁾⁠⁾
A short break was conducted after the first battle between Bada and Redy. Jam Republic sat around in a circle as they debriefed about the event earlier. As they talked however, (Y/N) couldn’t help but point out the several eyes that is currently looking in their direction. More specifically: 
“You got a lot of eyes on you Kirsten,” she whispered towards her leader. “Not just the dancers, but the judges as well.” 
“Really?” Kirsten smiles before she looks around. Sure enough, there were several dancers looking at her direction, even Monika and Shownu. 
The rest of the team giggled when Kirsten smiled giddily at them, feeling a burst in her confidence. 
“I think they’re looking forward to see you dance,” Latrice tapped her shoulders. They returned to their original positions when Kang Daniel came back to the center. 
“The next dancer to participate in the one-on-one battle is,” he pauses for dramatic effect. “Jam Republic’s Kirsten!” 
The room once again erupted in cheers and claps as the most anticipated dancer of the season smiles and makes her way towards the middle. 
“Hello,” the leader greeted with a chuckle. “No Respect Dancer that I would like to defeat…”
As she trailed off, the dancers’ eyes shift from side-to-side in anticipation with a touch of agitation and intimidation. They could feel Kirsten’s intimidation aura, and most of them are terrified at the thought of going one-on-one with her. 
“Waackxxxy.” She said, gesturing to the said dancer who grinned from her seat. 
The teams and even Monika acclaims in delight as they are about to witness a great battle between two, strong dancers. 
From the evaluation, Waackxxxy is a phenomenal dancer with powerful moves and an unmatched energy. Kirsten immediately picked her as her No Respect Dancer to push herself. Jam Republic and Mannequeen members stands behind their respective dancer who will compete on one-on-one. 
“When I watched the video, you were world-class and I would love to take you on. Let’s Battle.” Waackxxxy nodded her head in appreciation. The other dancers and Monika praised Kirsten for her admirable action to take on a strong battler. 
“Thank you so much for liking my video and class, but, I’ll show you my dance. Okay, let’s go.” (Y/N) clasped her hands in front of her and rests her chin on top of it, hyped for the battle between her leader and the well-known international dancer, Waackxxxy. 
“Let’s go Kirsten!” She cheered. 
“The world-class choreographer and the world-class waacking dancer. The battle of the two dancer begins now. You guys ready? Fight!” 
The DJ starts the music and Waackxxxy of Mannequeen goes first. From the get-go, everyone could see the charisma and the reason why Waackxxxy is considered as a world-class battler. Her body control and energy is so insane that Jam Republic couldn’t help but also hype her up. 
Waackxxxy ended her time with a strong side-eye on Kirsten’s direction. When the switch was announced, (Y/N) started jumping up and down as she cheered loudly for her leader. 
“Come on, Kirsten! Bring it!” Latrice yelled. 
The screams increased when Kirsten and Waackxxxy circled each other, following the beat of the music. 
“That was fu- insane!” Ling and Latrice laughed hysterically when a curse word almost escaped (Y/N)’s mouth. 
Jam Republic continued to cheer their leader on as the battle went on. (Y/N) was so hyped that she slipped and lost her footing momentarily. Luckily, someone immediately stabilizes her before she could fall. 
(Y/N) looks up to thank the person who caught her, only to blush brightly as her eyes met Bada’s shadow-covered eyes and a concerned face. 
“Are you okay?” Bada asked, still holding onto her elbow. 
She hummed and flashed her a grin. “Mhm, thank you!” 
They stared at each other for a few moments with a small smile and blush dusting their faces without saying a word. It’s as if it was just the two of them in the room together as the noises seem to quiet down, fading into the background. 
(Y/N) snapped out of it when Kang Daniel announced the end of the battle, immediately turn to find Kirsten walking towards their side. She thanks Bada one last time before rushing to her leader’s side to congratulate her for the amazing battle. 
Bada remained standing there, running her hand on the back of her nape to will her pounding heart to calm down. A grin makes it way to her face as she returns to her seat, not noticing Lusher who saw the whole interaction and is hiding a smile behind her hand. Making a mental note to tease her leader about it later. 
The judges showed their cards. Monika and Mike holds both cards for Jam Republic and Mannequeen, signalling a rematch between both dancers.
The rematch starts and both dancers still held their ground as they showed two variation of dance style. It ended up with another rematch when Monika showed 2 cards, much to the surprise of everyone. 
“I can only choose one?” She asked exasperatedly, clearly in distress to choose between the two when Kang Daniel nodded and held up one finger. “That’s insane. I can’t do that!” 
“Whoever you pick will be the winner. The victory lies in your hands.” 
(Y/N) feels her heart pound against her chest, holding her clasped hands against her and prayed for Jam Republic’s first win. “Please, please, please, please.” She muttered underneath her breath. 
“Here I go,” Monika concluded. The count down started until finally, she held up a pink card. 
Kirsten cemented Jam Republic’s first win. 
Jam Republic cheered while Mannequeen slumped their shoulder in dejection. 
“Great job, Kirsten!” (Y/N) cheered as she gave Kirsten a side hug and a grin. 
“That was insane!” 
“Good job!” They praised their leader. 
Across the room, Waackxxxy is visibly enraged and disappointed with the results of the battle. 
“In this last round, both dancers were at the same level.” Mike Song stated. “But Kirsten grabbed my attention a little more.”
“That was such a great battle. It was so energizing. The reason I chose Kirsten at the end, was that she made the song come alive a bit more and I weighed that more importantly. Rather than being too serious, I had no choice but to give it to the person expressing the song. That’s why I hope you understand my decision. Although it was a very difficult one.” Monika concluded. 
(Y/N) clapped enthusiastically as Kirsten place a winning chip on their score board. That happiness didn’t last long however, when Kang Daniel announced the next opponent. Another member of Mannequeen, Yoonji. 
From the dancer’s expression, the anger was obvious from the way stomped down the seats and towards the middle. 
“I’m so scared,” Ling said and Emma agreed. 
“She seems crazy.” The younger one replied, feeling on edge because of Yoonji’s attitude. 
(Y/N) sits stiffly on her seat, eyes narrowed and feels goosebumps crawl up her arms and neck. “She looks like she’s plotting revenge,” she stated lowly. 
They watch as Yoonji paced around back and forth in agitation.
“I’m very angry right now,” she confessed, still pacing around. “Mannequeen has come here as the crew known to be the strongest in battles. I think it’s time we showed that.” 
(Y/N) smirked at her insinuation, finding it a tad difficult to believe since Baby Sleek and her crew is also a part of this competition. 
“I’ve said this already, but who’s the one chewing up and spitting out battles lately?” Yoonji said, making a beeline towards 1MILLION and standing in front of Lia Kim. 
“This battle. I can show you later.” (Y/N) let out a sharp laugh when Yoonji left Lia Kim alone as soon as she got there. She’s certainly entertaining. 
“Kirsten, come out girl,” Yoonji suddenly stated quite forcefully as she gestured Kirsten to come out. The woman mentioned gave a small smile to Yoonji as she stands up and place her jacket on her sear. 
(Y/N) couldn’t help but tilt her head to the side and bit her bottom lip in annoyance, feeling rather protective of her leader. 
“I’m going to take revenge for my sister. Come out, girl!” 
(Y/N) huffed as she immediately followed her leader and stand 2 feet directly behind her, eyes narrowed and focused on Yoonji. The other members of Jam Republic soon followed with nervous smiles on their faces, but the latter members face was devoid of any emotion. 
“I’m going to show you who is the hottest girl in South Korea!” Yoonji exclaimed as her crew cheered her on. “You know, girl? I’m going to show you.” 
When (Y/N) saw Yoonji walk towards Kirsten and got near her face, a small smile graced her lips – devoid of any humour, as she too walked towards Kirsten, standing directly behind her and held her elbow. She stands tall in front of Yoonji and looks down at her, taking inspiration from Bada Lee and uses her height for advantage, to which Team BEBE squealed. 
The other crew also howled in astonishment as she did so. 
“Bada-unnie you influenced her already?!” Tatter exclaimed as she shakes her leader’s arm back and forth.
“What is it with tall people and comparing heights?! I’m so jealous right now!” Bada laughs as her members whined. She leaned forward in her seat with her hands clasped together, feeling oddly satisfied with the way (Y/N) seemed to copy her move. 
While Kirsten nodded gracefully at her opponent, (Y/N) snickers when Yoonji’s gaze flickered upon her for a moment before going back to the other side where her crew is. 
(Y/N) slightly pulled Kirsten back and leans down to whisper in her ear, “you okay?” 
Kirsten, not the slightest bit intimidated, just nodded at her with a grin. “Word, she says ass fat.” The taller girl laughed at her leader when she stuck her tongue out. 
“(Y/N) is so scary now!” 
“She’s giving off protective older sibling vibes oh my gosh!” Mina Myoung exclaimed, watching as (Y/N) now jokes along with the other members. “Look at how she switches! She’s back to being all smiley now!” 
“What were you teaching her Baby Sleek?!” Haechi asked after witnessing it. The older girl said nothing but gave her a shrugged shoulder and a proud smile. 
Chocol said nothing but continues to watch with a small smirk, loving the feisty and protective attitude of the taller girl of the pink team. Hoping that after the show, she’ll come running to Baby Sleek so she can have an excuse to finally introduce herself. 
Or maybe, she’ll have the chance to introduce herself on the dance floor. Maybe flirt a little as well. 
“I’m going to show you who is the queen!” Mannequeen cheered as Yoonji yelled before mocking the moves of Kirsten earlier by swaying her hips from side-to-side. The yellow-team crew member gives her a side-eye, looking up at her up and down in a condescending manner. 
Kirsten, unbothered, just smiled at her opponent. The same can’t be said towards her ballet dancer member who was seething in annoyance. 
“I’m excited,” Kirsten started. “Let’s see. We’re here in Korea now, so, let’s see.” 
The members of the crew once again stood behind their respective member competing. Yoonji and Kirsten paced around as they prepare themselves. 
“We have Yoonji from Mannequeen going first.” Kang Daniel announced. Yoonji immediately went to the front and strike up a pose. “Jam Republic’s Kirsten will go in second.” 
(Y/N) sat beside Latrice and Ling as the host began, “the next battle between these two dancers, are you guys ready?! Let’s go! Fight!” 
Yoonji moves her body as the first beat of the music starts, starting off strong and fierce. (Y/N) bites her lip out of irritation when she mockingly hits Kirsten with her elbow, to the point where she almost believed it hits her leader when Kirsten played along. 
The Mannequeen dancer ended her dance strong when she made her way towards where the judges are, much to the delight of everyone. 
“She’s a great dancer, but I think she got a tad bit overemotional,” (Y/N) whispered towards Latrice as she claps after her performance. The latter girl nods in agreement before standing up in excitement when the host announces the switch, meaning, its Kirsten’s turn to perform. 
(Y/N) bounces on her toes with a huge grin on her face as she watches her leader dance. Even more so when she dances around Yoonji’s figure without touching her, showing the immense amount of body control she has. Jam Republic watched with a face of impress and admiration, shouting in delight when Kirsten snaps her hips. 
“That was insane!” She exclaimed once the battle ended. It wasn’t long before the judges showed the cards of the winning result of the battle. 
And three yellow cards were faced. 
Mannequeen cheers loudly for the victory while Jam Republic claps their hand. Sure, the battle didn’t end up in their favour, but it is understandable since Yoonji conveyed a lot through her dance. 
Once the emotion of frustration simmered down, Yoonji shakes Kirsten’s hand with a smile and pulls her for a hug. Thanking her for the battle and saying I love you to her. 
On their way to their seats, (Y/N) wrapped her arm around Kirsten’s shoulder and congratulated her, saying the same to Yoonji when they passed her by. Although the battle was intense and heated, there was no point in starting unwanted rivalry outside of the dance floor. 
⁽⁠⁽⁠ଘ⁠(⁠ ⁠ˊ⁠ᵕ⁠ˋ⁠ ⁠)⁠ଓ⁠⁾⁠⁾
Another break was conducted after a few battles from Jam Republic and other teams. Emma, Latrice, Audrey, and Ling had already participated in their own respective battles. Ling battled against Cera which takes her by surprise, both of them had chosen her as their No Respect Dancer to push themselves. (Y/N) is the only Jam Republic member who have yet to battle anyone.
“(Y/N) has yet to dance, right?” A member from Deep N’ Dap says, looking at the direction of the Jam Republic who was talking animatedly with her team. 
“Mhm, I’m really excited to see her dance though.” Another member responded. 
However, the long wait is about to be over. 
“The next challenger of the battle, Cera of Mannequeen.” 
Howls and cheers rang through the arena, everyone had witnessed the intense and captivating performance of Cera earlier when she battled Ling. The member of Mannequeen adorned in her iconic green dress made her way towards the center with a smirk on her face, her members cheers as they follow closely behind her. 
 A mic was handed to her, the crowd became silent, and she walks around. 
“The No Respect Dancer I chose to battle…” she trails off, making her way towards 1MILLION. 
“From 1MILLION?” Mini questioned as she watches Cera stop right in front of the white team. The members looked up at her with their hearts on their throat, terrified of the idea that one of them has to face off against her. 
“My No Respect Dancer…” she trails off again, but this time, she walks towards the next team. “Is Jam Republic’s (Y/N). Come on.” 
Everyone’s lost their minds as Cera called out the Jam Republic dancer. 
“Yehey!” Audrey cheered – shooting up from her seat with a bounce on her step. 
“Wah! This is like the battle of the Prima Ballerina’s!” Harimu yelled from her stand.
(Y/N)’s cheeks puffed as it’s filled with water, Cera called her in the middle of her taking a sip, but she didn’t complain. It’s just hard for her to grin with all the water in her cheeks. Though, everyone can still see the joy in her eyes. 
She gulped down everything and stands up with a clap, grinning from ear-to-ear as she bows in greeting to Cera, holding her hands against her chest. They make their way to the center of the arena with their team following closely behind them. The two dancers stand in between Kang Daniel, standing tall with microphones handed to each of them. She bows one more time towards Cera before standing tall with a smile on her face, excited to battle one of the strongest battlers in the show.
Her opponent clad in green dress bows along with her before standing up straight and switched her face into battle mode – a stoic face with an arched brow, as if wanting to end her. (Which, not gonna lie, (Y/N) 100% will let her). 
“Cera of Mannequeen,” Kang Daniel began, “why did you pick (Y/N) as your No Respect Dancer?” 
“It’s not that I don’t respect (Y/N) as a dancer,” Cera started, holding the mic to her lips with one hand. “Quite the opposite actually, but, it’s time to show the people who the best ballerina battler is.” 
The whole arena cheers and awes at what Cera said whilst (Y/N) just giggled and nodded her head. If there was one thing she always takes pride in, it’s her dancing skills and techniques in ballet. 
“Cera-unnie, first of all, thank you for choosing me as your No Respect Dancer.” She bows down again, “however, if I am to prove anything to everyone here today – is that ballet is my style, and I am one of the best out there.” 
Amidst the loud roars of the others dancers in the background, Ling, Kirsten, and Audrey’s cheers seems to be the loudest among them. 
Cera smirked at the determination of her opponent keeping eye contact with her, and (Y/N) didn’t back down. 
The two dancers briefly walked back to the side where their crew members are at for a warm-up, and (Y/N) takes this opportunity to remove her sneakers to change into the dance shoes. 
“Is she changing her shoes for this battle?” Monika questioned – perplexed and intrigued. Mike Song just grins widely as he leaned forward, excited at the intense battle that is about to happen. 
“Wah, she’s changing her shoes,” Bada commented, looking at the Jam Republic dancer who is currently leaning to one of her members while adjusting her shoes. “She’s putting her best foot forward for this battle.” 
Tatter and Lusher agreed, keeping their eyes trained on the ballet dancer, eager to watch her dance. 
“You got this girl,” Latrice said. Offering her arm for (Y/N) to stabilize herself as she changes her shoes. “Show her and everyone what you’re made of.” 
“Thank you,” (Y/N) replied. Jumping in her place to feel the shoes beneath her feet. 
“Kill everyone who doubted you with your dance.” Jam Republic laughed at the seriousness in Audrey’s voice, taken aback by her. 
The lights dimmed once the two dancers made their way towards the center, Kang Daniel exchanged glances with the two women in the middle of the dance floor with a smile on his face. 
“The battle between two ballerina dancers will begin now. You guys ready?!” Kang Daniel announced. Cera and (Y/N) eyed each other up and down, one with a stoic, daring look, standing tall and elegantly, while the other is currently sporting a small smile on her lips as she cracks her head from side-to-side. 
“Let’s go (Y/N)!” 
“Show them what you’ve got!” 
“Kill this battle (Y/N)!” 
The other Jam Republic members cheers can be heard from all over the room before the battle can even begin. 
“Fight!” 
The music started playing as soon as Kang Daniel said the word. Cera starts her iconic slow walk while keeping her eye-contact with (Y/N). It’s quite intimidating, but (Y/N) held her ground, admiring the determination in Cera’s eyes. 
Cera started moving her arms at each beat of the music, before adding her own twists and turns before she does her iconic leg move. (Y/N)’s face scrunched up in disgust, indicating a sick and impressive move done by her opponent as she hits every beat of the music. 
The Mannequeen dancer comes close to you, pointing at you with a single finger and pointing it up and down your figure. (Y/N) bit her lower lip as she arched her brow and titled her head. Leaning her head down a bit to stare at Cera with lidded yet seductive eyes. 
The whole crowd went crazy with her looks. 
She can’t deny the charisma and confidence of Cera in this battle, the latter really is showing years of experience in battling and the undeniable musicality she seemingly naturally possess. 
As Cera’s time comes to an end, you used a sign language taught to you by Baby Sleek and signalled her to hurry up – much to the surprise of the other members of Wolf’Lo. 
“She knows how to use it?!” Yeni asks in surprise, bringing her hands up to her head. Baby Sleek is the only one looking focused at the battle, eager for you to showcase your dance while the others had their jaws dropped. 
Kang Daniel counts the last 3 seconds of Cera’s time, the woman comes close to your face and circled you whilst flipping your hair – just like what she did to Ling, before walking back confidently to the side of her team. 
“3, 2, 1, switch! (Y/N) of Jam Republic!” 
The members of Jam Republic screamed once the opening of Partition by Beyonce starts playing. (Y/N) smirks, stepping slowly forward towards the middle, mimicking a seductive wave after she flips her hair once the “hey, Ms. Carter” starts playing. 
Everyone went wild once the beat drops – along with (Y/N) as she suddenly drops down to her knees and starts to doing some sensual floor works. The judges and competitors alike went ballistic at her opening moves, and it was just beginning. 
(Y/N) kept her eyes on Cera the whole time, still with that lidded gaze. She slowly stands up, spinning fast with the beat in an insanely clean and controlled manner. She then did some popping and locking, showcasing her prowess in other styles of dancing other than ballet much to the delight of the judges and her team mates. She hits every beat of the song while sometimes taking the lyrics into account of her movements – showing a great control of her body and unparallel musicality.
“This is so crazy!” Monika yells as she keeps her eyes trained at (Y/N). 
Chocol couldn’t look at anywhere else once (Y/N) started dancing. She has her arms crossed against her chest as she watches intensely with a impressed smirk plastered on her face. She walks down the steps to have a better view of the dancer dancing before her. 
She finds it impressive at how she uses various techniques and moves of ballet and other styles to incorporate it in her moves. It looks complicated, but she makes it look so seemless and effortless. 
Bada, on the other side of the arena, finds it hard to contain her emotions as she watches the Jam Republic dancer. She’s constantly shouting, impressed by the moves executed by the young dancer. She holds onto her cap as her jaw drops once (Y/N) did an aerial. 
She claps and screams along with the rest of her team as she continues to watch her with a starstruck gaze and jaw dropped. Lusher takes one glance at Bada before she bursts out laughing. 
“Oh my gosh your totally whipped Bada-unnie!” She laughs, slapping Bada’s arm as she threw her head back. 
Bada immediately flushed red and attempted to cover it with a cough, but it still wasn’t enough to tear away her gaze from the performing dancer of the pink team. 
While (Y/N) remained oblivious to the pairs of eyes staring at her, she focused on ending her battle with a bang. As Kang Daniel signals the last 5 seconds of her time, she makes her way towards Cera – mimicking the way she circled around her earlier, but with her own seductive walk. She stopped in front of her, bending down to her eye level whilst blowing a kiss with a wink, wiggling her fingers in a goodbye motion before walking back to her team with a smile and playing with her hair as she shakes her head from side-to-side. 
(Y/N)’s members hyped her up as she walks towards them. She laughs as Audrey and Ling jokingly bows down to her like a royalty, making the others follow soon after. She covers her laughs underneath her hands to also hide the redness that’s painting her cheeks. 
Everyone went ballistic. Screaming their heads off at the intense yet entertainingly fun battle between the ballerina’s of Mannequeen and Jam Republic. 
She then turns back around to face Cera who has a smile on her face, bowing down at her in gratitude for the battle. She continued bowing to everyone who was still in shock by the battle – her heart swelled with pride once she sees Monika standing up with a shocked smile on her lips as well as Mike Song and Shownu who were clapping. 
“Good girl, (Y/N)!” Baby Sleek yells, clapping her hands. The mentioned girl heard it and snaps her head towards her, holding her hands to her chest before bowing deeply. She can feel tears well up in her eyes but she shakes her head to avoid them from falling down. 
Her former teacher praised her loudly and openly. The highest compliment she could ever receive from this competition. 
“That was intense!” Lusher exclaimed, sitting back down in her seat once the commotion started dying down. 
“They really showed their battling skills. Their confidence is through the roof!” Mini exclaimed. “Honestly, whoever wins this deserves it.” 
(Y/N) and Cera makes their way back to the center of the dance floor. Breathing heavily after the intense battle they shared. 
“Fight judges,” Kang Daniel starts, “cards open.”
(Y/N) could hear her heart ponding against her chest and in her ears as she fiddles with her fingers. All the judges visibly look like they’re having a hard time deciding on their choices. She reminds herself that whatever the outcome of the battle is, she gave it her best. Yet, she still wants to secure a win for her team. 
And then, the cards are flipped. 
And everyone cheered. 
Monika holds two cards – pink and yellow. 
While Shownu and Mike Songs holds a single, pink card. 
(Y/N) almost drops to the ground because of relief. 
Cera and Mannequeen sighs in defeat and in dismay while the Jam Republic members – specifically Audrey, Ling, and Kirsten, cheers loudly. 
(Y/N) makes her way towards Cera and offers her hand, “you are amazing! I love your dance! You are simply amazing out there and thank you for the wonderful battle. It was an honour to compete with you. I hope we can be good friends in the future because you are simply just amazing!” 
Cera coos at the adorable ramble of her opponent and pulls her to a hug. “Thank you, thank you too for that battle. I love you, you’re amazing too out there! We must definitely meet up sometime after this.” 
(Y/N) grins and pats her back before they separate. “We should do this more often!” Cera laughs before she and her team makes their way towards their seats.
“Way to go (Y/N)!” Kirsten exclaims as she holds onto her arm. 
“You really killed it out there!” 
“Thank you guys, that was so great. I really want to be close friends with Cera now.” Ling giggles at her comment.
The rest of her team continues to praise her with compliments and congratulations on their way back to their seats. As (Y/N) makes eye contact with her former teacher, she flashes her a grin and a thumbs up. Baby Sleek returns her gestures with a wink and a nod. 
Kirsten adds a win chip to their board while (Y/N) makes her way towards Mannequeen to place a lose chip on their board, bowing down at the members and thanking them for a wonderful fight. 
“I can’t even be mad at her,” Yoonji starts, “she’s too polite for me to be mad at us loosing.” 
“The whole team is,” Redlic agrees. 
“Judge Mike Song, why did you choose (Y/N) as the winner?” Kang Daniel asks once everyone settled down to their seats. 
“First of all, the two dancers are very powerful and seasoned in battles – they showed it to us! It was one of the very entertaining and very fun battles this day that’s for sure, and for that, I want to thank the two of you.” 
(Y/N) and Cera bows their head in gratitude with huge smiles on their faces and everyone claps. Kirsten and Latrice pats their team mate of her shoulders with a grin on their faces. 
“Choosing between the two of you is almost torture!” Mike Song jokingly sighs with a shake of his head, causing everyone to laugh at his dramatic tone. “However, the reason I chose (Y/N) at the end is because of the versatility she showcased us. The body control, the movements, the flow of each step was like water! It was so fluid and she did it with such grace and confidence. So, (Y/N), I hope to see more of you in this competition, because you really killed it out there.”
(Y/N) couldn’t help but stand and bow deeply towards Mike Song and thanked him. The rest of the crews claps and awes at the high praise the member of Jam Republic received from one of the respectable judges. 
“That’s one of the highest praise someone got from the judges today,” Mina Myoung commented. “Looks like Kirsten is not the only force of nature in Jam Republic.” 
“Their team just got a lot more intimidating.” Nob commented, looking at Jam Republic. 
“I entered this show so sure of my preference and sexuality, but tell me why Bada and (Y/N) are making me question it?” Deep N Dap members laughs at the unexpected comment Downy made. 
⁽⁠⁽⁠ଘ⁠(⁠ ⁠ˊ⁠ᵕ⁠ˋ⁠ ⁠)⁠ଓ⁠⁾⁠⁾
It wasn’t long before Mike Song’s request for more battles came true. 
“The next challenger of the battle,” Kang Daniel began, pausing once again for the dramatic effects. “Is Chocol from Wolf’Lo.” 
“Oh right! Let’s go!” Haechi cheers, shaking Chocol by her shoulders as the older dancer makes her way down the seats. Per usual, her crew follows close behind her. 
“I wonder who she chose,” Emma comments after taking a sip from her water, “her team is kinda scary.” 
(Y/N) and Ling hums in agreement, watching the crew in front of them in silent. Silently terrified at the thought of battling against one of them. Though (Y/N) is confident in her skills and unafraid to show them, Wolf’Lo is just on another level. 
Chocol takes the microphone that’s handed to her, licking her lips as she starts to walk around.
“The No Respect Dancer I choose,” she began, making her way towards Lady Bounce who tenses up from their seats. 
She gave a slight smirk to Nob and Biggy who visibly gulps down the saliva stuck down their throats. Chocol enjoyed teasing them, making them think that she’s choosing one of them, but then, she skipped backwards without looking back before suavely turning around and jogs lightly towards the pink team. “Is Jam Republic’s (Y/N)” 
“My god my heart,” Nob says. Holding onto her chest as she breathes out a sigh of relief and leans backwards. 
(Y/N) smiles, standing up from her seat from the top and sets down the Jam Republic banner in her hand. Before she can take a single step down, she saw a hand in front of her. When she looks at who the hand belongs to, it leads down to Chocol, waiting for her at the bottom with her arm outstretched. 
“Oh, okay,” Kirsten said teasingly as she and Latrice moved to the side to make way for (Y/N).
“Special treatment, I see you.” Latrice added.
Everyone awes at the action, more so when (Y/N) places her hand on Chocol’s with a smile before descending down the seats. 
“It’s like a prince charming guiding a princess,” Redy said, leaning forward with her hands on the bottom of her chin. “I’m so jealous right now.” 
“What in the story book cliché is this?” Yoonji stomps her feet jokingly, “why didn’t I get that kind of treatment?” 
“Yah, you threatened her leader earlier to a dance battle with a scary façade and you expect the others not to be afraid of you?” Buckey jokingly replies which made everyone burst out laughing and Yoonji to pout. 
“Tsk.” Bada clicked her tongue as she watches Chocol guide (Y/N) to the dance floor with their hands still intertwined with narrowed eyes. “Honestly, this is a serious competition. Why is she being nice to her opponent?” 
Lusher hears what her leader grumbled underneath her breath, causing her to giggled and comfortingly pat her back. “Don’t worry unnie, no need to be jealous.” 
Bada snaps her head towards her sub-leader with a glare and a slight pout. “Who said anything about jealousy?” 
Lusher holds her hands up with wide eyes and downturned smile. “Nothing, nothing. I’m just teasing you.” 
Bada clicks her tongue once again in annoyance before looking back to the front with her arms crossed against her chest. Lusher and Tatter made eye-contact from each sides of Bada with knowing looks and teasing smiles. The other members of Team BEBE heard the conversation laughs silently, watching as their leader sulks down on her seat. 
“Chocol, why did you choose (Y/N) as your weakest dancer?” Kang Daniel asked. 
With their height difference, Chocol had to tilt her head up ever so slightly to make eye-contact with her opponent. She adjusted her cap with one hand as the other holds the mic to her lips. 
“Originally, I chose her because I want to see what that pretty face can bring. But from the battle earlier, we all saw it. So now, I want to see if she can bring that fire come to life again, but this time, more closely and upfront.” 
“Is she flirting with her or what?” Debby whispered to Harimu with a slight giggle. 
(Y/N) nods and rolls her tongue against her cheek, bowing her head down slightly. She tosses her hair back before answering with her now famous lidded-eye look, “if it’s fire you want, then I’ll gladly burn the stage in here, baby.” 
Everyone screams once they heard (Y/N) talk in that low-flirty way as combat against Chocol’s remarks in full English:
“Why was that so hot?!” 
“I don’t speak and understand English very well but damn!” 
“See! I told you she’s making me question everything!” 
“I understand you perfectly well now, Downy!” 
(Y/N) laughs as she hears the comments, giving the mic to her Kirsten who is now looking at her with a teasing face. 
“You better burn the stage baby,” she mimics. (Y/N) rolls her eyes at her before teasing pinching her arm. Kirsten laughs as she dodges her hand. 
(Y/N) faces her opponents team, the team of Baby Sleek. It would be a lie if she says she isn’t downright petrified right now. This is the crew with the most skilled freestyle battlers – but she was trained by the best of them. This is her chance to solidify and prove herself once again to one of the most respected teachers she had. 
Chocol bounces on her feet, preparing for the battle. (Y/N) has her hands stretching above her head as far as she can as she glances at her opponent who teasingly winks at her. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the playful nature of Chocol. 
Bada grumbled even more at the exchange. She doesn’t even know why she’s feeling this ugly feeling in her chest. Hell, she didn’t even have a conversation with the dancer yet, or even introduce herself! That doesn’t mean she won’t find away later, maybe she’s just bitter that someone got to befriend her before her. Yeah, maybe that’s it. She just wants to forge a friendship with the dancer first, you know, just cause.
“The battle between Wolf’Lo’s street dancer and the ballerina of Jam Republic will begin now. You guys ready?!” 
Cheers erupted from both teams and the rest of the teams, curious to see the outcome of the battle between two very different styles of dance between the two dancers.
“Fight!” 
Music filled the loud speakers of the room. Chocol nods her head to the beat to get into the groove as her team mates cheers her on. When the beat drops, she comes close to (Y/N)’s space and sways her body to the music. 
It was a bold start, (Y/N) admits, and the way Chocol moves is nothing short of hypnotic. Her body moves so fluidly yet with power as she hits every beat of the song. She definitely knows how to control body on command, if there is one thing she can describe her dance overall, it’s classic hip-hop. Effective yet timeless when it comes to battle. 
(Y/N) smirks as Chocol comes close to her face, mimicking the flying kiss she did to Cera earlier. Wanting to continue this banter, she “catches” the kiss mid-air and pretends to keep it in her pocket. 
She lets out an impress shout at Chocol’s body articulation. She began hyping her up, moving her body along with the beat while staying still in her position. Chocol’s performance is nothing short of impressive, but her competitive side is coming out, and now she wants to do better. 
As Chocol’s timer comes to an end, she once again closes in on (Y/N)’s space, this time, ending her dance by mockingly pointing at her figure up and down and another flying kiss which caused another uproar from the side of Deep N Dap
“That should be me!” Someone shouts. 
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, switch! Jam Republic’s (Y/N)!”
A familiar laugh echoes through the room, before the beginning lyrics of Gangsta by Kehlani plays. (Y/N) lets out a wide smirk and tilts her head to the side. 
My turn.
Audrey began screaming her head off once the familiar music fills the air. She danced with (Y/N) before during her time of travelling the world to learn new styles of dance, and if there is one thing Audrey knows for certain, (Y/N) dances very well to dark themes. 
“You got this (Y/N)! Eat. This. Up!” 
With that, the Jam Republic dancer ran her hands across her body to get into the feel of the music – which isn’t that hard. She began walking forward slowly, just like what Cera did, but with a tad bit more of sensuality. 
When the beat starts going down, her expression and articulation changes to every beat, mimicking the craziness Harley Quinn did in the movie in which the song was made of. Everyone can see where she’s going with the dance and is excited yet again. Bada and Chocol keeps their gazes focused solely on her. 
In this dance, (Y/N) focuses more on interpreting the lyrics of the song yet still hitting the necessary beat from time to time, just taking on a more contemporary approach. In contrast to Chocol’s hip-hop, she chose a genre she excels in.
Chocol smirks as she goes down towards the floor once again, expecting another floor work from her. She did, but a lot shorter and takes everyone by surprise once again. 
(Y/N) did a middle spilt before crouching down, but she didn’t get up. Instead, she takes a hold of her left foot, before initiating a single hand cartwheel – still holding onto the foot, down to a split and stands up without the use of her hands. 
Screams can be heard once again, thoroughly impressed by the never-ending amount of techniques and tricks the Jam Republic dancer seem to possess. Jam Republic members sported a disgusted looks as they cheer their fellow member on, some jumping on their places purely from the amount of adrenaline they are getting just by watching (Y/N) dance. 
They are not the only one’s though. Bada, with her cool and mysterious look she once sported, almost disappears by how much she is now yelling. Watching (Y/N) dance only increases her determination and will to befriend her and possibly collab with her and her team in the future. Bada watches with awe as (Y/N) stays true to her word: she really is setting the stage on fire. 
(Y/N) can hear her time coming to an end, she laid down on her stomach with her legs up in the air as she drags her finger to her lips, smirking seductively at Chocol. The said girl only tilted her cap and bites her bottom lip in acknowledgement.
(Y/N) held onto that pose for a few seconds, taking in the cheers and the screams of the other dancers before grinning brightly and standing up. 
“How can she possess that duality?! One moment she’s all smiles and elegant looking the next moment its as if she’s seducing me!” Downy exclaimed as she watches (Y/N) makes her way to her team with a bright smile.    
“She’s like a wolf in sheep’s clothing!” Mini said, clapping her hands after patting and congratulating Chocol on the battle.
“You were on fire baby!” Emma cheers, patting the heaving girl on the shoulders. 
“Harley Quinn definitely possessed you for a moment there!” Ling exclaims. 
“Thank you,” (Y/N) smiles at her members before turning around to face the judges on the middle. 
Chocol is one of the oldest and seasoned battlers they have, and Wolf’Lo doesn’t have a lose chip to their board yet, so, (Y/N) is prepared and had already accepted her fate that she lost this battle. 
“Fight judges,” Kang Daniel announces, “card open.”
It was a surprise that the judges seem to have their pick already and confidently, however, the result of the battle left everyone even more surprised. 
Three pink cards. 
(Y/N)’s hands flew to her mouth in shock, and this time, she actually fell to the floor in shock. Jam Republic immediately went to her side and cheered her on while Wolf’Lo nods their head in defeat but claps nonetheless. She makes her way towards Chocol to shake her hand, but before she can do that, Chocol takes her hand up to place a kiss on her knuckles, causing her to grin and flush bright red. 
Everyone who saw the interaction began teasing and cooing at the couple, some because of jealousy, others because of the *kilig. Well, most of them. A particular leader of the blue team scoffed loudly before chuging down the contents of her bottle before crushing the bottle with one hand. As she grumbles in her seat, her members are secretly watching her in amusement, never expecting their leader to act this way. 
“Thank you for the amazing fight, Chocol.” (Y/N) began, taking her hand back with a smile still painted on her lips. 
Chocol shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly with a smirk, stuffing her hands on her pockets. “Don’t worry about it, darling. I had fun.”
“Yah, what do you mean darling?!” Baby Sleek scolded playfully as she slaps the back of Chocol’s head and drags her back by her arm, causing the younger woman to pout. 
“Stop flirting with her and get back to our seats! “Darling,” your face.” Jam Republic just laughs at the dynamic of the orange team. 
The rest of the crews are still in shock that the first and only person so far to break the winning streak of Wolf’Lo is the ballerina of the pink team. 
“Wow, (Y/N) really is amazing.” Rena of Tsubakill said, still in awe of the Jam Republic member who is now currently walking back to their seats.
“She only had two battles so far and she’s already proving herself as one of the strongest dancers here.” Akanen replied. 
“Fight judge Monika, why did you pick (Y/N) as the winner of the battle?” Kang Daniel asked.
“I’m going to keep it short and frank, (Y/N) did not only dance, she told a story.” Monika says while looking at the dancer. “She told a story while embodying a well-known character of the movie which is insane because it’s as if you really are her for a second. You brought colour to the dance – no, you brought fire to the dance.”
Jam Republic claps at Monika’s comment. 
“(Y/N),” she adds, “you took me by surprise. You really are one of a kind.” 
(Y/N) swears she could sob at the high regard. She stands up and bows deeply towards Monika like she did too Mike Song. She then stands up 
“It’s like a main character moment,” Biggy said, watching as Kirsten place a win chip to their board. “Are we the side characters?” Lady Bounce laughed at her. 
As (Y/N) places the first and only lose chip on the board of Wolf’Lo, Baby Sleek reaches up her hand and pats her head. 
“Well done, (Y/N),” she says. “You really have gone far now. I’m proud of you.”
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*kilig - causing or characterized by a feeling of exhilaration or elation.
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slavghoul · 6 months
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Interview from Sweden Rock Magazine 10/2023
Hi, hi. There is an interview with Tobias in SRM’s newest issue, but it’s in the subscribers only section, so I thought I’d translate/share since I guess not many people will be able to get their hands on it. It is about Prequelle and it’s part of SRM’s „200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time” series. Prequelle placed #68. The other albums may have scored higher, but for now we don’t know the whole list. Either way, enjoy. Very insightful. 
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„Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?” Now that’s an unusual opening question. Especially when the interview is about an album that Sweden Rock Magazine's writers and qualified Swedish hard rock musicians (including Tobias Forge) have voted as one of the 200 best Swedish hard rock albums of all time. The question wasn’t planned, but comes spontaneously, as a reaction to the first thing Tobias Forge says when we sit down on opposite sofas in the record company office. I'm here for a two-part interview, partly about the EP "Phantomime" (published in #6 2023), partly about "Prequelle". Neither record companies, artists, voters, nor even our writers who conduct interviews for this series of articles have any idea what placement an album has received. Interviews are often done well in advance and we simply don't want placements to leak and become public long before publication.
No Ghost album has ever been on the list before. The idea is actually to end the day with the "Prequelle" talk, but when Tobias Forge suddenly starts with a funny little comment that this album is probably the one that those who have voted think is Ghost's worst or least popular album, I just have to take the opportunity to ask the question: Do you think that "Prequelle" is Ghost's worst album?
No, absolutely not, he says and laughs. If I'm going to be completely pragmatic, I'd say: "How many songs do we actually play from that record?" There are songs that work damn well live and sit where they should. So it's a pretty strong album.
But is this what you are basing it on? "Prequelle" was released after Ghost had become really big so it can't be compared to "Opus Eponymous" and "Infestissumam" which you don't play many songs from. I mean, no matter what kind of record you had released when "Prequelle" came out, you would still have played many songs from it and they would have worked precisely because Ghost's songs nowadays are moulded more to the arena format.
I don't know how to answer that, it's difficult. If the album had been different, it would have been. If I'm going to talk somehow both artistically and practically, I know that for every record we have become exponentially bigger. "Prequelle" was definitely no exception, but it also took us a big step forward and upwards and we became bigger and broader. To the extent that when we introduce old songs in the live set, you notice that there are elements on albums one and two that make some songs more difficult to play. Not technically, we can play the songs, but they don't work in quite the same way as the later songs, which means that there is a slight favouritism.
I asked the original question about whether you think it's Ghost's worst album only because you directly said that this means it's the least popular one.
I'm just so full of myself I assumed all the other albums are also in the top 200, which may actually be incorrect. This might be the best album and the others aren't even there, haha.
It wasn't long after "Prequelle" was released that you were self-critical of the album in interviews, saying that it was too ballad-heavy and a bit too soft. I haven't noticed that before, you being so self-critical shortly after the release.
Yes, but I still feel that way. If, as an artist, I am only going to look at the work with the criticism that one can feel towards one's own work, I think that if things had been different or if I had more time, I might have wished that I had managed to get maybe two more hard songs. Maybe one more hard song would have fit on the album and another harder song might have phased out one of the ballads. Now five years after the album came out, I know that the two ballads ("Pro Memoria" and "Life Eternal"), which I may not think are bad, are one too many. But I know that many of the people who like the band like both of them, so it's kind of a useless argument.
Who sets the length of an album? Have you set a limit, that it can't be longer than this and have no more songs than that?
No, but it must fit on an LP disc and there is a physical limit. I think the absolute pain threshold is 46 minutes and that's 23 minutes on each side. Now maybe Mikkey Dee (co-owner of Spinroad Vinyl Factory) will raise his hand here: "But I can make it longer!" And it's maybe 48 minutes, I don't know, but I do know that when a disc starts getting so full that you start getting close to the sticker, it starts to sound bad. Especially nowadays, because recordings today are so very maximalist in scope. It's one thing if you record 60s music with drums, a guitar and bass where the sound is cleaner and finer or if you play acoustic stuff with just vocals. Bob Dylan records could have eight songs on each side and it worked all the way through. But this kind of fairly compact music doesn't work well. Not only am I a militant vinyl advocate, I think we should respect the fact that most artists don't manage to create more than 45 minutes of good music on a regular basis. A lot of famous double records are not that good. I don't think the Rolling Stones "Exile On Main St" is very good. It might as well have been on one disc. And if I'm actually going to turn it into something completely mundane, I'd say that I think it's irresponsible to sit and make records with twelve songs if it results in the record being 63 minutes long and you automatically have to make a double record. It's pretty wasteful.
When you said that it's irresponsible, I thought you were going to say that it's irresponsible to print a double vinyl because of the environmental destruction that it entails.
Of course, if we're going to be completely straightforward and not do anything that harms nature, we shouldn't even release any records, so I say this with reservation. But with that in mind and for the sake of art, I think more people should embrace the actual given format that has been the most prevalent in rock history. There is a reason why a film is usually one hour and 30 minutes. You can’t take any more. There's a certain dramaturgical structure and there’s a certain comfort in it. Then the CDs came along they screwed that up, and suddenly there weren't two sides anymore but it started one way and ended another. Now that the CD is no longer important and we've gone back to vinyl, creators should follow suit and start embracing the physical rules.
Are there songs that have been rounded off just because you thought „I have to round off here, because if I continue, it won't fit on the vinyl disc"?
We actually had that problem on the last album. „Watcher In The Sky” ended the A-side and the outro is much longer on the CD and digitally. Two minutes longer I think. Much, much, much longer. It's long, noisy and has all these dives. It's a very chaotic soundscape. You get the feeling that it goes on and on, and on the vinyl it's just the beginning of an outro and then it drops almost immediately. I think that was a huge mistake.
So the overall sound quality was more important than vinyl buyers getting everything? Because you could have pressed the vinyl and it would have fit, but you would have had to compromise the sound quality.
Yes, exactly. You can get the song to just keep going until the vinyl simply runs out. Then it just starts spinning in the middle, depending on what kind of record player you have. But the problem then, if you want to anticipate events at a creative stage, is that people today buy and listen to vinyl records and are sensitive. It's quite common for people to complain that the record is broken. I don't just mean our records, but people complain a lot about the presses. If you make ten songs, it's therefore stupid to have a too thick soundscape towards the end of song number five and song number ten. If you want to be really good and old school, that's where you put a piano ballad because it's an easier sound to handle so far into the record. This is what I think about when I make records. But clearly sometimes I miscalculate.
This must cut right through the record collector Tobias Forge's whole body and soul, that "Watcher In The Sky” is shortened by two minutes on the vinyl of all versions.
Well... I don't toss and turn and wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it anymore. But when it happened, I was livid. Luckily it was just an outro. It would have been worse if it had continued with some kind of narrative into the next song. Now I can't remember in my head how long "Prequelle" is, but if I'd had to go back in time and just re-construct it, the re-construction wouldn't have had much to do with the existing material, I would have just wanted to add a scene. And it's not a scene that's missing, it's just for the sake of balance. It became asymmetrical in a way that bothers me a bit.
You've talked about this before, but it was before "Prequelle" that you really started to talk a lot about how you were thinking about what kind of new songs might suit the live show. Can you get stuck in that mindset, thinking more about what songs are needed live right now rather than creating an album that will last 30 years?
Hmm... (long pause)... The reason I'm sitting here thinking is because I'm trying to come up with examples of other bands that I think might have gone through something similar. I’m looking for examples to the answer I'm about to formulate and that is that: yes, I think there comes a point in the career when most bands make a record because they simply feel they need to… Because what we're talking about is that when you go from playing in small smoky clubs in front of an already inveterate audience that already understands the perhaps a little more chewy expression, that experience can change if you start playing in front of a larger and especially a different type of audience. When a different type of audience comes and you play in a different format, you discover that this song doesn't work very well, it doesn't sound very good and it's difficult to get the sound right. Then there's usually a record or two or three during your career when this transition happens where you start filling in with songs that work better live. Look at Piece of mind", "Powerslave" and "Somewhere in time". There's a reason why Iron Maiden didn't play a lot of the first two albums there and then, because it was easier to play the new songs. You get to that point somewhere in your career and it's very difficult to say when it is - there's no given rule and there are artists who continue to release relevant records and have an amazing ability to release new records and just play the whole new record. Well, now Iron Maiden does that and tests their audience a little bit in that way, but then they will always compensate by doing like a "best of" set the following year so everything is forgiven. Now we're in the middle of the "Impera" period here and have a very strong set, but I'm starting to feel that now that I'm about to start writing a new album, it feels like it's not really on my agenda to write three more albums that will change the live setlist ten years ahead. I think we already have the blueprint for what is Ghost's setlist, especially if you include the entire catalogue. After a while, each new record you make becomes a little less important. It's really hard to know when that point comes, but the truth is that new records don't matter in the same way. Slayer didn't have to release "Divine Intervention”. They definitely didn't have to release "Diabolus In Musica". I didn't care about it and I just wanted to hear the old stuff. If they had just come up and played "Reign In Blood" I would have been soooo happy. And that's the way it is with most bands. Nobody would be sad if the Rolling Stones came up and didn't play anything from "Emotional Rescue". And that's just the way it is. In the future, I can see a scenario where there is probably a basis to possibly build up an alternative setlist. There are so many songs that we do not play and that I have nothing against - I love them too! But it would almost be easier to build up a completely alternative setlist and run a show with only the odd songs. There are so many songs now. There's no reason not to build on that. But when I want to make a new record, it's irresponsible for me not to consider that there might have to be some songs that are a bit more direct. But it doesn't hurt me if we have more songs that we don't play live. I don't know if this answers your question...
I would actually like to ask exactly the same question again, because I wonder if you yourself feel that you get stuck during the making of the record. You said that you would have liked to include another hard song because "Prequelle" doesn't have the balance that you would have liked to have in retrospect.
Exactly, but the explanation for that has more to do with my mental capacity there and then. I simply couldn't cope. I felt that I had probably maxed out… It was probably about as much as I could do that year. That's the simple explanation. To get another song that would have fit and that would have fulfilled this requirement that I now in retrospect would have wished I had, it would have required something that I did not have there and then. The only thing that could have made it easier is if I had more time. It is difficult to reason about it, you see.
I was in the studio for a few days during the recording and it's one of the few times in all these years that I've done interviews where someone has started crying during an interview. It was quite obvious that everything that had happened with the split of the band affected you.
Yes. Of course. It did.
Is "Prequelle" a difficult album to listen to for you? Can you sit and listen to it all the way through? 
Well, at the moment I have to do that from time to time, and listen to all the records, because we're just about to start rehearsing again and then I sometimes have to go back and just listen to the record to go: "Fuck, is that really how I sing?" Especially when we start rehearsing, I can be a bit like: "Damn, who changed this bit?” Then I usually sit down and it hits me: "Oh, it's me who has changed my song!" You simply do that over the years, you start singing it in a slightly different way. So sometimes I have to go back and listen, but it’s more practical. I don't think it's fun to listen them. I do it until they are finished. I listen over and over and over again and really try to listen with all the imaginary ears and all the imaginary perspectives you can have. "How would I have listened to this if I had heard it from this perspective?" Just to get as "objective" a perspective as I can until I'm satisfied, but then it's like „No, I don't want to hear this anymore". But I have to say that I think "Prequelle" is a very tolerable disc despite everything that interfered with the process. Therapeutically, it works quite well considering that we are still playing at least half of the album. For every artist there are songs that you want to play, and there are songs that you don’t want to play because they feel too personal. I don't feel that way about this one, it's more like: "Ah hell, they're part of the setlist and people like it and it sounds good. So that's what we're doing."
On a personal level, was Tom Dalgety the perfect producer for you, the way you were feeling at the time? Tom feels like the kindest, sweetest producer you can meet. He wasn't the kind of producer who pushed you very much, it was more of a nice atmosphere between you.
Yes, really, and it would have been different if Klas Åhlund, who is more confrontational, had been in the room. Now Klas and I are great mates, so it would certainly have been very therapeutic also, but it would have been a different process. If an artist comes in who is in such bad shape that they can't make a record, or a band where the main songwriter has just left them, then a Bob Ezrin goes in and says: "If you don't make the record, I'll make the record myself.” And he goes and makes Kiss "Destroyer" or Alice Cooper records. I'm not saying they didn't make them, just that you hear that Bob Ezrin made "Beth". It's a type of producer that's very different from a lot of other producers who maybe act a little bit more like buddies and cheerleaders and make the atmosphere good. Bob Ezrin doesn't care so much about the atmosphere in the room. Klas is somewhere in between, I would say. Given the condition I was in during "Prequelle", the result could probably have been different if Klas had come in. Ironically, there was actually talk of him doing it, but he didn't have the time and we'll never know how it would have turned out. I only know that it would have been different, but right there and then Tom was fantastic. I know that a lot of bands like to work with him because he is technically brilliant. He's really good at those typical sounds that people like: cool drums, guitar, bass, tone and clarity. He is also very "happy go lucky", a nice guy who sits and jokes all the time. Even if he has a bad day, it doesn't affect anyone else, which is convenient.
Let me compare it to when a writer contacts me after an interview and says "that was such a nice interview". For me, "nice" is not something positive in such a work situation and the result is often better when there is a little friction.
Mmm, and that is more Klas. There is more friction and more confrontation. And I was much better equipped for that at "Meliora" and later at "Impera". I felt better and was simply stronger. There wasn't the same survival instinct as on "Prequelle". If I think back, not about how the album turned out and how I have to live with it, but if I think back to the situation I was in, I was very anxious all the time. Even though I'm happy with the result, I wouldn't want to go through the recording again, even though Tom was great. Because it's hard to work when you're under attack. I realised that now when I made "Impera", when it was no longer like that. You are much more comfortable, it doesn't feel the same, you are more mature, you make better decisions, you are more controlled or dare to be uncontrolled. When things are this serious, you can end up in a freeze mode. Maybe that's also why there wasn't another song. The song that I miss doesn't exist because I simply squeezed out everything I had. If I had been in a different emotional state, I might have been more comfortable working out something at the last second from bits and pieces. But I felt that I really just wanted to get it done, deliver it, get back out on tour and start over again.
When you described being more mature during "Impera" you sounded like a 70-year-old, kind of like all the Aerosmith-like bands that have been fighting all their lives and now that they're in their 70s they say "we're soooo mature,” haha.
I think with all artists, especially when they're required to work in a group, there are many recordings that have been a collision with a wall because you're expected to function in a context all the time, whatever and whenever. But you do change and from one year to a few years down the line there can be a huge difference in a person's drive, hunger and priorities in life. Whether you have the same band structure as I do or whether you play in Metallica, people come in one state and they may end up in another, because you have different priorities at different times. It's unfortunately against the whole rock myth. I think that's the biggest problem for bands and businesses, that you always have this idea that if you just get to a certain stage - not just monetarily or career-wise, but you get to a certain stage of fun - then we've reached the status quo. But that is never the case! Never! There’s always something. Even in the best moments when everything is working, the band is awesome, everyone is working well, the crew is awesome, everyone is laughing, it's just a party all the time mentally, you have the world's best tour manager, everything is flowing and the tickets are selling, there will always be someone who doesn't like it and then has to break away and want to do their thing because it's no longer fun. It's usually somewhere in the lead-up to a stage where it's interesting and then once you've achieved it, it all becomes a bit boring. Just like in a relationship some people may eventually think, "well, that's a bit boring, I have to go out and do something else".
Since I was in the studio when you were laying down guitars on "Witch Image", my heart beats a little extra for that song and I thought it would be a great live song, but you've barely played it (at the time of writing it's Ghost's forty-fourth most played song live).
We did it during the "Prequelle" tour, or "A Pale Tour Named Death" as it was called. Then we did quite a few "an evening with" concerts, for better or worse. The advantage was that if you were a big fan of the band we actually played a lot of songs and actually a lot of the first albums, like "Idolatrine" - or "Witch Image". We did a set, a break and then a whole other set. That was a bit of a taste of what I was talking about earlier: doing a slightly larger set and then a slightly smaller one. You just shouldn't do it on the same night because it gets a bit stale. We played for two hours and 30 minutes or something and that wasn’t a good idea, haha. At least we did "Witch Image", but it has fallen behind a bit and it doesn't mean that we will never play it again, just that we don't do it right now. What I've been happy about is that there has been a feeling for the records that we've made recently, "Prequelle" and "Impera", that people still want to hear the new stuff. We haven't gotten to that stage that I talked about earlier when it doesn't matter anymore. Then it's very fun to try to find a new way to perform the songs, not technically, but suddenly a song like "Witch Image" might fulfill a very nice purpose between a completely new song and another song.
Let me speculate: in 30 years, I think "Rats" will be considered the great hard rock song, "Dance Macabre" the great hit and "Life Eternal" the great ballad. What do you think? Will this in the future be seen as the three big songs of the album?
Yes, that makes sense, I think. I understand that an instrumental song automatically ends up in the wake of a "best of" collection, in the sense that you do one in 30 years. I realise it's not a hit but the instrumental "Miasma" is a big part of our live show. It's strong and feels like such a keeper. Now we don't play "Life Eternal" very often actually, but it was very well received. For some reason people like to get married to it, I don’t know why, hehe. It's nice but it's also a bit like U2’s „I still haven't found what I'm looking for" and you don't use that one at a wedding. But people like it and I guess interpret it differently to me. It’s also a song that I don't think is fun to play live.
And why not?
Because I find it hard to play ballads. Physically, they don't feel the same as rock songs. I miss the "dunka dunka". Now everyone who plays music today knows what I mean - sorry, readers who don't play music - and it's that there's a small problem with having in-ear monitors. This means that you have to reach a certain frequency of beats in order to feel the music, unlike when you played at clubs with only a guitar amp behind you. You felt every single note you made and it just went through your body. Nowadays, I think it's sometimes hard when you play slow songs, because you have to trust that it sounds good, whereas when you play a rock song, you feel that it sounds good.
Does it also apply to "He Is” which is such a huge ballad, not least live?
Well, just the intro and then it gets going quite quickly and suddenly becomes a hard and rather fast-paced song. The classic ballad concept has always been that you play so-called edge beats to make it sound soft, while "He Is” is actually a rather hard-played song considering that it is a ballad. Once the drums come in – boom, boom – it's got AC/DC bite to it. It has a rock feel to it that "Life Eternal" doesn't really have. As I said, I don't think that "Life Eternal" is a lot of fun to perform, but that doesn't mean that it isn't quite good to listen to. It’s just that when I play "Dance Macabre" or "Mummy Dust" I feel that I can express myself physically more in line with what the text says and what it means.
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iskandersmuts · 8 months
Text
Diplomat's Party
Male Reader x Yuna
Tags: Smut, Yuna Smut, Sex, Blowjob, Creampie
My first attempt. I will be thankful with some feedback with anything.
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1
Breathe in. Breathe out.
You see the man on the mirror. That’s you inside the bathroom talking to yourself for gaining courage. “You can do it.” You say. “You did this for the last year.” Finally, you hide again in one of the bathroom’s cabinets. One more time breathe in and breathe out. Is just matter of endure this feeling three more hours.
You leave the bathroom and start counting the hours. Right now is nine o’clock. You can leave freely this party at midnight. As your boss always says “Your job at parties is like being a Cinderella. You arrive show the best you have and before the worst parts of you appear you leave. Nobody wants to know how cool or shitty you are when you are bored or even worse drunk. So no one of you, the diplomats, can show that side. Remember we are representing a country.” He is right we can’t show some parts of ourselves.
But these parties are actually a pain in the ass. The most of the people are here for work. They are not resting. They are not having fun. They are trying to get some confidential information that will help their own interest or the interest of their countries. Is like an international convention of ass lickers, brownosers or whatever you call it. They gather together and start talking about nonsense: “Did you hear about that African president lecturing Macron about colonialism?” or “Did you see what this Bukele did with the cryptocurrency?” You just can’t say. “Of course, dumbass you know that every ass licker here read the same Foreign Affairs subscription that you read.” You just say whatever thing they also know “Yeah and it seems that IOSCO now has a project bill for cryptocurrency.” And then the questions start. “Do you have any notices on the votes of the draft resolution of the injunction… and blah blah” Just things that nobody cares about. Two years ago, you pleaded your boss to let you assist to this kind of events. And now is your third time a week in these events. You would prefer getting a massage with hot stones in your balls right now. But not everything is bad. In this field: the diplomacy. You must be really lucky to find a friend. And you were really lucky, your honest friend is Diego an Argentinian diplomat.
2
In this party at Lotte Hotel Diego does a sign asking you to leave the building and go to the yard. Both of you get outside and start talking.
“Dude, did you hear the big news?” Says Diego.
“Diego if is a diplomat thing I really don’t want to talk about that right now.” You say with your voice showing boredom.
“No is not that kind of thing. You know me. I don’t like to talk about that stuff too. Is about the party of tonight.”
“What? Someone find out about those two gay diplomats that are in a relationship?” You ask.
Diego laughs. “No not that. Something interesting. Korea has changed the main event of tonight!”
“That means that I’m not going to hear the fat lady singing AGAIN the fucking Madame Butterfly.” You say.
“Yes. And also, as they were looking for something new. Moon Jae In used his trick up his sleeve and contracted a kpop group.”
“WAIT WHAT? WHO? TELL ME!” You say almost shouting.
“Is a girl group. JYP…”
“Fucking Twice is coming? Oh my god! Really?”
“No not Twice a bit younger.”
“NMIXX? But they have few songs!” You say complaining.
“Not that younger.”
“ITZY? ARE YOU FUKING KIDDING ME?!”
“No. No. It’s for real. They are coming.”
You guessed correctly.
And now you are thinking: Finally, something good happened on these useless parties. And you are smiling in a weird way. You know is weird because Diego told you. And then you use your experience of these years to act the best you can. As a diplomat you can’t be a crazy fan even more as you are here actually “working”.  
3
The girls finally arrive. All guests are invited to gather and enjoy the show. Itzy is on the scene they greet everybody. You notice that they are not cheerful as they are in concerts of world tours. They are trying to be mature. They start with “Dalla Dalla”. You resist the urge of fanchant with the song. When they end nobody claps. For the awkward situation they start immediately another song. It happens the same nobody claps or even cheers.
This situation reminds you the footage of Red Velvet presenting at North Korea. The public were all quiet. This was the same. These boring diplomats don’t celebrate anything. Yeji as the leader announces that they are going to perform the last song. “Cheshire”. You want to fanchant so bad. But you can’t. They nailed the last song; the others were good too. But in this song, you see that they are trying their best as is their last song and till now they didn’t get any response from the public. When the song ends you don’t resist the urge and you start clapping. The people around you look at you as a weirdo. But then Diego joins you and other Koreans too. Then everybody is forced to do it. You look at them. All the girls are smiling. You keep clapping and you stand up.
“That was nice, girls” you shout.
This time just some of the other guests joins. And the rest of them just look at you and the others as weirdos.
This moment was definitively the most memorable. Because you see the girls looking at the few ones clapping while smiling. They finally thank everybody and leave the scenario.
4
You start walking around the party just remembering the faces of the girls when they saw you clapping. Their expressions. They are shocked at first. They look at you and then start smiling. It was a rough night for them. But you did the night a little bit easier for them.
Now just some minutes till midnight. You made your job and you saw Itzy you deserve a fucking drink. So, you start walking towards the bar.
“Look that old geezer is trying to dance” Says someone.
You notice that this is the voice of a woman.
You laugh.
Someone appears in front of you looks you directly inside the eyes and says. “Are you laughing at us?”
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You are caught off of guard. “No sorry I didn’t mean that. Is just that no one here uses that kind of word ‘old geezer’” You look at her face trying to know his name. “Omo. Sorry Chaeryeong-shi. I really didn’t mean to make fun of you.”
Chaeryeong looks at you. “Do you know my name? Finally, I thought nobody here knew who we are.” She pauses and continues. “And don’t worry I’m pretty sure that Ryujin-unnie doesn’t care if you laugh or not, right, unnie?”
“You are pretty damm right, Chae.” Says Ryujin. “Is just that the old geezer…” You start to laugh again while she continues. “looked really hilarious when he started dancing.”
You see that behind both, Ryujin and Chaeryeong, are the other members of the group. You are internally jumping so hard that maybe your head will hit the roof. But you try to keep your composure. “Nice to meet you all of you.” You look at your watch is just past midnight. Fuck it you are not “working” anymore. “I’m really a big fan of yours.”
The other girls gather around you when they see that you are talking with Ryujin. They stand up beside you. There it is Yuna with her scenary outfit.
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While you are looking at her you try to avoid looking at her chest. Or at least pretend that you are not doing it. She is using baggy pants. You wanted to look her legs too. That’s too bad. But you are lucky enough to look her perfect flat belly. When she sees you, she just smiles at you. The other girls as Yuna are wearing also an scenary outfit all of them have a blue or sky blue piece. But Yuna is the one that caught your eye.  
“You are not from here, right?” Asks Ryujin. Yeji gives a little slap on Ryujin’s arm. She is the leader indeed.
You are thinking. Thanks Ryujin. You saved me. I owe you one. It was getting weird because I was looking Yuna for too long.
“Yes yes. I’m not from here. I’m a diplomat assigned here at Korea, Ryujin-shi.”
“You are a diplomat?” Asks Lia. “I always thought that diplomats were old men.”
You answer. “Well the ones that appear on television they are. And maybe as they are the most known for the public you think that. But actually in my country if you do the right things. You can start as a diplomat at 23 years old.”
“Yeah you look kind of young. But here the most of them are old geezers.” Says Ryujin. You laugh. “I thought that the reason why nobody clapped was that they are old geezers. But maybe is because they do what you do.”
“Well. Yeah the most of the times the show is a snob thing. Like opera or traditional theather.”
Ryujin interrupts you. “What thing? What did you say?”
Yuna starts laughing. You answer Ryujin. “See your maknae here knows what I said. Yuna-shi would you mind explaining her?”
Yuna looks at you. Doubtful starts speaking. “Snob is like people that likes fancy things just because they want to be different. Right?” She looks at you.
You are melting. The eyes of your Itzy’s bias are looking right at you.
“Yeah… Is just like that, Yuna-shi.” You answer. “The people here like that kind of things. Kind of unique or least popular. The people around here think that the things that they are discussing are the most important things ever. They are so full of themselves.”
“And… You are here... So, you too?” Asks Yuna looking you again.
You smile. “I hope I don’t. Maybe I would be just like them if I answer that. How about you discover if I’m like them.” You look at Yuna.
In your head you ran the entire place 10 times. You are flirting with Itzy’s Yuna. You are nervous as fuck.
“We’ll see. Then.” Answers Yuna and grins.
Yeji looked what happened. Actually, the whole girl group watched you flirting with their maknae. Yeji stands between you and Yuna and starts shaking your hand. “You are the one that clapped for us, right? Let me thank you for that. We’d like to stay around but we actually just came here for a personal matter. We are going to the bar. It looks like you are about to leave this party, right?”
Her words weren’t even smooth. You were clearly kicked out. “Is that true? I see. Well, thank you for greeting me.” You say trying to sound as polite as you can. “Well maybe I should go…”
What you were saying is interrupted by Yuna holding Yeji’s arms with her hands. She starts pouting. “Unnie, please.”
Yeji’s answer is silence pretending Yuna said nothing. Yuna starts pouting again. “Yeji unnie, please. Besides he is a Midzy, right?” Yuna looks at you.
“Yeah. As I said I’m a big fan.” You add.
When Yeji says nothing again. And you think this is lost. Yuna uses his final technique her little kitten face. He is pleading looking directly at Yeji. Just as Pussy in boots in Shrek. You don’t receive fully the little kitten face but you see it by the side.
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Fuck. You are willing to give your house if she asks you doing that face. And you start wondering why the governments and international organizations spent so much money training people like you to end wars. When probably all they need is the Yuna’s little kitten face. Dam even if she asks Putin to end the war. Will he say no?
Yeji tries to avoid her face or maybe just look at the others trying to find an answer. Ryujin just shrugs like saying I don’t care. Lia and Chaeryeong that were looking Yuna’s little kitten face just nod. Yeji sighs and says. “Fine. He can come.”
“Yaaaaaay” says Yuna. She takes your arm and pulls you to start moving. Then she releases so you can follow them.
That expression that she just used was the bubbliest yet the most attractive you’ve ever seen. And she touched you. You can die right now. You start walking behind them. You just can’t help and you take a peek at their asses. Ryujin has a really bubbly ass. Chaeryeong has the largest one and seems like is not that soft because has muscles around. Lia has the softest one like you can sleep there. Yeji has a cute butt. And finally, Yuna has a bubbly cute ass. She is using baggy pants but her butt can be noticed trough them.
While walking Yuna turns lightly her head to you to ask you. “Hey Mr. Diplomat how old… are you?” She paused because she noticed you looking her ass. You were caught in fraganti so you just looked at her and smile. “Well mmmmm… I’m actually 25 years old. International age I mean.”
After you answer Yuna says something to Yeji. Yeji also turns her head to you. Look at you and nods to Yuna.
All of you finally arrive at the bar. Ryujin asks for champagne for everybody including you. She didn’t ask any of you. She just ordered. Yeji slaps her arm. “Ryujin yaaa. Why do you always do that?”
Ryujin answers. “It doesn’t matter. All of us were going to drink that anyway. Right?”
You see around and everybody is nodding. It seems that the dominant Ryujin you see trough tv screen is actually a dominant Ryujin in real life.
“Let’s make a toast. Raise your glasses” Says Yeji. And by looking at the girls and you she is ordering you to do it. Everybody raises their glasses. “Our schedule didn’t let us to celebrate properly the birthday of our beloved maknae. Yuna we all love you.” At the end of this sentence. You start nodding hard. Yeji got quiet and looks at you. All the girls look at you too and then laugh. You blush. “Anyway…” Yeji continues. “Apparently everyone gathered here LOVES you Yuna. Happy Birthday.”
The girls take turns to hug Yuna. First Yeji, then Ryujin. You notice that everyone gets closer and say a few words in Yuna’s ear. When is your turn you gather all the courage in your body and swallow the nervousness and try to look cool.  You hug her and whisper in her ear. “Is true indeed that everybody here loves you. Happy birthday. I wish you have a good time tonight.” She grins and whispers in your ear. “Well, you can help me to have a good time tonight.”
Shit. You think. I felt her chest during that hug. And now she says this I really can’t control my excitement.
And actually, you got hard down there. While you were hoping she didn’t notice it the hug ends and she looks down like looking for something.
It seems like she felt it.
Then the girls sited around the bar and ordered drinks. You took place beneath Yuna. She leaned on you.
“Oppa…” She says and you got surprised.
“Oppa?” You ask inmediately interrupting her.
“Yes you are older than me you are my oppa, right?” She questioned.
“Well yeah I can be your oppa if you want.”
“Nice. I want to ask you something. Can i?”
“Okay. But if is something that I can’t say because of my work please don’t use your little kitten face against me. I will give in and next thing will be that I’m fired.”
She laughs. “My what?”
“Ah I named your pleading face to Yeji-shi before as ‘little kitten face’”
“Because of Shrek?” She asks.
She gets me.
“Yeah. I just love that movie. But continue. Go ahead”
She continues “Anyway I’m not going to ask you something difficult, oppa. I just want to know what should I drink? I don’t have too much experience with that.”
“You are 19 now, right? What have you drinked before? and what did you like or not?”
“Well obviously soju. At first, I didn’t like it. But then I was into that. But tonight, I want something fancier.”
“You are lucky. As this is diplomat’s party. I think this bar has international beverage too. Have you heard about pisco?”
“What?! What is that?”
“Is alcohol is made from grapes: the green ones. And well is nice when you drink it with lemon and other stuff. The beverage is called pisco sour.”
“Well why not. Today I’m celebrating my birthday. If I pretend today is my birthday. This is my first time having 20 years. So today is the day of first times!”
“That’s the attitude!”
“Two pisco sours, please.” You ask to the bartender.
The bartender hands you two glasses. And you hand one to Yuna.  
She sips. “This is like lemonade, right? Just at the end I can taste some alcohol. Is not that strong.”
You nod. “So did you like it?”
“Yeah, kind of.” Answers, Yuna.
5
A couple of glasses later you and Yuna are talking.
“You know what?” You start “I think diplomat’s life and idol’s life have something in common.”
“Why do you think that?” Asks Yuna.
“Well, your life is kind of controlled by someone: your company. In my case the embassy. I’m living here in this country just to work. And also, our opinions can’t be radical. Do you remember that time where Tzuyu waved her flag? The… Taiwanese flag?” Yuna nods. You continue “She apologized then. That means that no idol can give political opinions, right? Well, I can’t neither. I can’t say Taiwan is a country or say what I think about any president or government out loud.”
“Well… Yeah, It makes sense. So, you can’t hang out at parties too?”
You are so into this subject. “Well, if something happens like a drunk fight or something like that. I’m fucked up. Because in the headline will appear ‘The diplomat of this country got drunk and…’”
Suddenly Ryujin hugs you from behind and asks you. “Hey, since when Yuna is your bias? Have you fapped to her photos?”
You blush and start stuttering. “I-I-I D-d-d-didn’t do that!”
Ryujin laughs. “Mr. diplomat knows how to be cute!” She pinches your cheek. Then she says looking at Yuna. “Hey if you don’t achieve nothing with him. I’ll ask his number.”
Yuna hit Ryujin’s arms. “Ryujin-yaaaaa.”
You look at Yuna. “Achieve something?” You ask.
Yuna blushes a little bit. “Well did you remember before when we were walking to the bar? When you were… mmmm… looking my ass?”
You almost spit the pisco sour. Ryujin laughs. “It seems like Mr. Diplomat likes to stare asses. Did you peak mine too?”
Fuck Ryujin is so straight when she talks. This can’t be a mess. You must apologize. You think.
“Ammm… I do. Sorry.” You apologize.
“So who has the best one?” Ryujin asks you.
This brat knows how to make you nervous.
“Y-y-y-yuna” You answer stuttering.
“Well, I give up, Yuna. Mr. Diplomat is in love with you. I don’t get him. Everybody’s favorite is my ass or Chae. I’m leaving it to you.” Ryujin says while walks out to join the other members.
“Really?” Asks Yuna looking at you.
“Yeah. You are my favorite in everything! My ultimate bias.” You shout.
Fuck. It seems I’m really drunk.
Yuna stares at you and doesn’t say anything.
You blew up. She probably isn’t looking for a fanboy. You shouldn’t have drunk too much.
But she caught your arm and walks with you. You just follow her. “What happened, Yuna?” You ask.
She looks at you and keeps walking. “Today is the day of first times.”
She is leading you to the bathroom. She enters and locks the door.
You are in disguise. What to do now is pretty obvious but is Yuna so you are doubtful.
Before you decide anything Yuna kisses you.
Fuck. Is the best kiss you ever had. So this is how it feels when you kiss someone you really really like. Is like an explosion. Like there was nothing and then a big bang.
The kiss breaks. “Did you like it?” Asks Yuna.
You don’t answer just kiss her again. The sensation is something different. Like you can be here forever. But the night was just starting.
Yuna starts touching your back while kissing you. Then your chest. Your neck. She stops. “You don’t want to touch me?” She looks directly in your eyes.
“No, no. Is not that. Is just I didn’t want to ruin the kiss.” You say.
“Oppa. You know what are we doing next, right? I know you are not so innocent!” She says. And starts kissing you again.
Now you touch her. Her neck, her back you go down. Her delicious ass is being groped by your hands. You lean her closer to you by pressing her butt.  
You start kissing her neck. “Yuna. You are so beautiful and cute. Your mouth, your face, your ass.” You press your hands in her butt harder. She just moans “Mmmmmm….” But then she speaks. “I can feel your dick poking my abs. Just like before when you hugged me.”
You press her butt stronger. So, she can feel it more. Then you lift her up by grabbing her legs and kiss her neck again. “Mmm… I want to see your tits, Yuna.” While being in the air she manages to take off her blouse. You see her lingerie and anxiously you start kissing around her tits. While she is trying to untie her bra. Finally, you receive in your view her heavenly boobs. Her nipples are totally pink and are like inviting you to suck them.
This is the best feast I’ve ever had.
You kiss and lick her tits while the only response from Yuna is “Mmmm.” When you left her legs touch the ground, she kisses you again and she kisses your neck this time. Now she is trying to get your formal shirt off. You start undressing yourself. She kisses your neck and starts going down till she is in front of your crotch. She is in her knees.
“Mmmm… I want to know if you are a big fan as you said.” She touches your crotch. And starts undressing your pants. Then she just puts down your boxers.
Your dick is hard as never was. When she puts down your boxers your cock jump off and slaps Yuna’s face. She looks at you and then stares your cock.
“It looks that you were right. You are the biggest”
Then she starts stroking. You just moan.
“I thought you said it was first times’ day.”
“Yes oppa. This is my first time with a foreign guy and my first time sucking cock big like yours”
She starts licking the tip of your cock.
“Oppa I’m starting to doubt if this can fit in my mouth.”
“Let’s find out.” You say. She nods and starts putting it in her mouth.
First the tip and then she tries to push deeper. Her mouth is full but there is plenty of dick left. She starts moving. You can’t deny that you had better heads before. But… She looks at you while sucking you. Then you are aware again that the one sucking you off is Itzy’s Yuna. So, you start to feel better. Fuck you could say that you are even about to cum. You caught her head with your hands and start pushing.
“Fuck Yuna. I can feel your throat!”
She just says “Mmmm mmmm” as she can’t talk.
“I’m going to cum. Fuck. Fuck.”
You start cumming and you relax the grip on her head. And she frees. Some of the cum goes in her face.
“Mmmm… You are rough, oppa. I like that.” She picks some toilet paper of the bathroom to clean her face. “But you know what this is only starting. I want that big thing inside me now.”
She starts unbuckling her pants and puts it down and also her underwear at the same time. She has a shaved cute pussy and is already wet.
“Oppa, fuck me.” She says and then she bends and you have a total view of her ass. That beloved ass.
“You want me to fuck you?” You spank her.
“Aah. Yes, oppa. Fuck me with your cock!”
You grin and start to play with your dick around her pussy. “Oppa, just fuck me already!” She says.
You put your cock inside her. And you feel tightness. You haven’t feel something like this before. “Yuna you are so tight!” You say. And try to go deeper. “Fuck Yuna really I’m not lying you are too tight!”
“Mmmm… No oppa is just that you are too big. Just keep going. Mmmm…”
You start going deeper in a slow pace. Finally, you get to get your full dick inside. Yuna is moaning already. “Yuna, prepare yourself”
“Whaaaaaaa… aaah… mmm… mmm” She starts moaning. You are slamming her in a rapid pace. And then she says “Cumming aaaah” You don’t slow down. And then she shouts again moaning again but this time her legs start to shake. But you don’t slow down.
Fuck you’ d love to see Yuna’s cumming face. But right now in exchange you have a full view of her cute butt and her pussy while your cock enters and disappears. She is moaning so hard.
“Aaaaah… Oppa. I love how you fuck me. You are really deep into me.” She says.
And is true is almost like your tip is kissing her womb. This tightness is almost like her walls are never letting you go. Like their insides are sucking you up. Is this heaven? The pleasure right now is out of this world.
While dreaming off, it happens you cum inside her. Fuck you really fast up the pace because now you are out of breath. Yuna stands up looks at you smiles and kisses you. “That was one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. And really orgasms because it happened multiple times” Yuna says. “You are special and fuck you cummed so much”. At the moment white liquid starts to drip from her crotch.
Suddenly the door sounds. There are lots of knock knock and then a voice: “Yuna we need to leave now. They found out about the manager bribed. We will be waiting for you on the car outside.”
You look to Yuna. And she starts explaining. “Have you heard anytime about Itzy joining a party where they were having a show. Or have happened ever that the last entertainment show joins the party in your diplomat events?”
“Well… Being honest I never heard of that. And that never happened. I don’t remember that the fat lady singer ever joined the party after her show.”
“Yeah. That’s what’s normal. But we bribed our manager to tell JYP we were already at the dorm and we sneaked into the party.”
“So you weren’t invited to the party? And wait did you lie to Jyp?” You ask.
While this conversation was made Yuna started dressing up. As you see it you start looking for your clothes too.
Yuna answers “Yeah, that’s why we were just in the bar. I mean we didn’t want to catch too much attention. And also, we were with our stage clothes if we were invited, we probably were wearing some fancy dresses or something like that. And yeah, we lied to Jyp. He is nice but sometimes he is just a pain in the ass. You know if it was for him, I’ll be virgin even now.”
“Well yeah if you had gone to the main saloon, you probably had caught more attention. Then I must be really thankful for that bribe because if that wasn’t happened, this wasn’t happened.”
“Yes, oppa. And also, is thanks to Yeji. When you looked my ass, I was asking Yeji if I can be with you and she nodded. But sadly, I must say bye now. I really want to have another meeting with you and that big thing of yours.” She kisses you and continues. “and maybe we can try other things. You know Ryujin says that anal sex is way better than normal sex. But I don’t know maybe I need to experience it by first hand.” She hands you a piece of paper.
“Is your number?” You ask like pleading.
“Aww you can be a cutie pie too. Yes, it is. I must be going. Is better if I leave alone. Wait inside here and after a couple minutes leave. Ok?” She says.
“Yes. I’ll be expecting our next meeting.”
“Me too.” She kisses you and then leaves the bathroom.
That actually happened. You think. I had sex with my ultimate bias.
And now you remember all the things the view of her precious ass. Her eyes while she was sucking you off. The taste of her lips. Her essence. Her ass in your palms. Her surprised eyes when she saw your cock. The sensation of his tongue in your cock and her throat.
The sound of your phone wakes you up. Some text messages.
“Hey Oppa is Yuna. It seems like you weren’t the only diplomat getting fun. Ryujin also had fun with an argentinian diplomat. And he knows you, so the girls and I got his number and yours. Let’s have another meeting soon”
You smile. What is even better that you fucking your bias from Itzy is that your friend could do it too and maybe he even had anal sex with Ryujin. It seems that this kind of parties are not so bad.
849 notes · View notes
hanniluvi · 10 months
Text
LOVING YOU FROM A DISTANCE — HEE FIC.
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“one day, i will stop falling in love with you…”
S ☆ — Heeseung has liked you for ages, too long for him to even recall how. Sure, he should be confessing now, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, especially if you have a boyfriend. So how is he going to tell you his feelings in only a span of a year before he leaves?
2 LOVERS? — best-friend!heeseung x best-friend!fem!reader
GENRE — high school au, bsfs to lovers to ???, he fell first, she fell harder (+ sort of right person, wrong time), angst, fluff
WARNINGS — brief mentions of insecurities (abt looks, way they act, etc), some people may be shitty …
FEATURING — beomgyu from txt, sunghoon from enhypen
WORD COUNT — 18K+ (18379)
SOPH — giving angst another try 🙏 and with lyfad being the one with the most votes on that poll, this is the fic you guys chose! you let me know if you chose the correct one 😊 (sona don’t speak u dont count u lyfad HATER 🤬🤬🤬) . also i looped the playlist i linked when writing so you know the playlist really hit 😜 anyways i hope you enjoy <33 !
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ONE.
You looked at him, your gaze filled with admiration for Heeseung’s abilities. He had remained seated, skillfully plucking the guitar strings and producing a soft chord. As he glanced up, he smiled upon seeing your awestruck expression. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for having such a talented best friend.
Whether it was academics, sports, or any other endeavor he pursued, he seemed to effortlessly excel in everything he did. His dedication and determination were inspiring, as he never settled for mediocrity. Being around him sparked motivation within you, urging you to push your limits and strive for greatness.
"Dang, you're good. I never knew you could play!" you exclaimed as he finished playing the guitar.
Heeseung smiled and put the guitar down beside him. "You know me; I'm always good at everything, but I don't mean to boast," he said. “You really don't know your best friend, do you?"
"Seriously, you're good at everything. It's hard to keep up with you," you joked, thinking about all the skills he possessed. "I wish I could play like you."
"It's not that difficult to learn. You're a quick learner," he reassured.
Eagerly, you suggested, "Could you teach me?"
"Sure, why not?" he agreed with a smile.
Excited about the opportunity to learn from Heeseung, you both decided to take some time for a quick guitar lesson. You sat right beside him, preparing to learn a few tips.
"Alright, let's start with the basics," Heeseung said, holding the guitar and showing you how to hold it properly. He hands you his guitar, allowing you to copy what he does.
You watched attentively, eager to learn everything you could. "Like this?" you asked, mimicking his hand position.
“Exactly, just position that slightly a bit more towards this way,” he scoots closer to you, propping the item correctly in your hand. “You’re doing great!”
"Now, let's learn how to strum the strings." He demonstrated a gentle strumming motion. "Try it yourself." He hands you the pick, watching over you as you try it out.
You nervously held the guitar and attempted to replicate his strumming. The sound was a bit off, but you kept trying.
Heeseung smiled reassuringly. "You’re doing great! Perfect for a first timer."
He patiently taught you the chords, giving you the encouragement and guidance that you needed. Even if you fumbled a bit, you gradually started improving the sounds. "Wow, that sounds much better now!" you exclaimed, surprised by your progress.
Heeseung chuckled. "See? You're a fast learner. Just keep practicing, and you'll be playing like a pro in no time."
"I just have to teach you a few more basic chords before I can teach you a song," Heeseung said, reaching over to take the guitar from your hands. However, before he could proceed, the door swung open, revealing Beomgyu. He greeted you both with a warm smile.
"You know," Beomgyu chimed in cheerfully, "if you really wanted to learn guitar, you should've asked me." He plopped down beside you, extending a hand towards Heeseung. "Hand me that guitar, Hee."
You exchanged surprised glances, amazed by the unexpected turn of events. Handing the guitar over to Beomgyu, you watched as he effortlessly adjusted his posture and strummed a few chords.
"I've been playing for a while now," Beomgyu continued, "and I'd love to share what I've learned with you."
"You know how to play guitar too?" you asked Beomgyu in surprise.
"Of course I do. Your boyfriend knows a thing or two," Beomgyu replied cheesily, earning a giggle from you. As the playful banter continued, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a twinge of discomfort, sensing himself becoming the third wheel. However, it wasn't an entirely unfamiliar situation.
Gradually distancing himself from the two of you, Heeseung settled into a corner, observing your interaction. He wore a gentle smile, occasionally chuckling at your playful mistakes and Beomgyu's teasing scolds.
In that moment, Heeseung couldn't deny the bittersweet longing within him. He wished he could be more than just your best friend; he wished for something more.
In the corner, Heeseung's heart felt conflicted as he watched your interaction with Beomgyu. Part of him wished he could be the one making you laugh and sharing those playful moments together. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he were the one holding the guitar, strumming strings that would make your heart skip a beat.
He tried shaking the thoughts away, just as he easily did when he first found out you and Beomgyu were dating. But it was getting more difficult to accept it, rather than easily moving on as he should. Even if he’s happy for you, deep down, there’s still that silent hope that one day the stars will align and you will see him in a different light. But until then, he continued to cherish every moment spent with you, treasuring the friendship that was the foundation of it all.
And so, with a mixture of emotions, Heeseung chose to stay in that corner, watching over you and Beomgyu, silently wishing for your happiness, even if it meant his own heart had to endure a subtle ache in the process.
What else could he possibly do?
All he knows is that he must finally share something he's been keeping inside for a while. He knows he has to do it soon, before it becomes too late, even if the odds aren't in his favor. And he needs to know when it is the right time to do so.
TWO.
"Man, can you believe it's our final year already?" You exclaim, intertwining your arm with Beomgyu's as Heeseung quietly trails behind.
"I know, right? We've made so many unforgettable memories here," Beomgyu replies, his hair tousled by the wind.
"Definitely. This school will always hold a special place in our hearts," you say, noticing Heeseung's lack of response. "Come on, Heeseung, don't lag behind like that." You pause, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to you. Heeseung cracks a smile, now walking beside you as you keep your hand on his arm, ensuring he doesn't get left behind.
Heeseung can't help but notice that if you continue to act this way, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to let go of his feelings for you. Instead of feeling numb or unaffected, he experiences a strange, growing sensation in his gut that intensifies with each passing day. Every little gesture or interaction from you brings a blush to his cheeks, causing his face to turn pink. As much as he wishes and wants to keep feeling these things, he can’t enjoy them for too long. All because of your relationship with Beomgyu, his other best friend.
Trios often come with their own set of complications, and deep down, Heeseung silently disagrees with the idea of it working out for you three. Being in a trio, especially when two friends are in a romantic relationship, usually leaves the third person feeling like an outsider. However, you and Beomgyu are unaware of Heeseung's hidden feelings. Heeseung was adept at concealing his true feelings.
Heeseung can vividly recall the day when Beomgyu asked you out and witnessed the joy that lit up your face upon accepting. He saw the radiant smile you directed towards Beomgyu, and in that moment, Heeseung had no choice but to smile back, despite the confusion and mixed emotions swirling within him.
He wondered why he couldn't be the one to bring that smile to your face, just like Beomgyu did effortlessly. Ever since that day, Heeseung has been pretending to be genuinely happy for you and Beomgyu, even though it weighs heavily on his conscience.
Heeseung carries a sense of guilt for pretending to be a supportive friend. Deep down, he yearns for something more, but he also grapples with the realization that his desires may never be fulfilled.
As time went on, Heeseung couldn't shake the feeling that he and Beomgyu were growing apart, and he believed that you were the cause of their distance. In his eyes, you became a huge barrier, separating him from Beomgyu. The bond they once shared seemed to weaken, overshadowed by the presence of your relationship.
Heeseung was convinced that Beomgyu knew of his crush on you. He remembers Beomgyu's comments whenever he gets caught looking at you with adoring eyes or speaking more softly when you are around. However, Heeseung had consistently denied any romantic feelings to Beomgyu, perhaps leading Beomgyu to pursue a relationship with you. Heeseung couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if he hadn't denied his true emotions.
Heeseung wondered if it was his fault for giving up his chance. Perhaps he had been too hesitant, fearing the potential consequences of confessing his feelings to a longtime best friend. Heeseung couldn't deny that, if it were you, he would gladly accept his confession in an instant. However, he remained uncertain about your response. The fear of rejection and the possibility of jeopardizing the bond you shared kept him hesitant and apprehensive.
It was definitely his fault—at least that’s what Heeseung thought.
"Bye, Gyu!" you called out before heading off to your first period. Thankfully, Heeseung shared most of his classes with you, which he was grateful for.
"Bye, cutie!" Beomgyu playfully messed up his hair and quickly darted away before you could yell at him. It made Heeseung feel a bit uncomfortable, as he found it gross, but if he were the one saying those words to you, it would be a different story.
Heeseung knew he should try to suppress these feelings, but it was easier said than done.
"Come on, Heeseung, let's grab seats near the window." You pulled him along by the sleeve, leading him into the classroom. He couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm, allowing you to take the lead.
How could he simply stop falling for you?
"Why don't we sit there?" Heeseung suggested, pointing to the two desks at the back of the classroom. You glanced around, noticing they were the only available seats left.
"It's a bit far," you remarked, but nonetheless, you walked over to the desks with Heeseung.
"Don't worry; if we take any notes, you can always look at mine," Heeseung reassured you with a smile.
As you settled into your seats, Heeseung pulled out his notebook and pen, ready for the class to begin.
"I hope it's an interesting class today," you said, glancing around the room.
Heeseung chuckled softly. "Well, I can’t say the same. With you by my side, any class becomes more enjoyable."
You laughed at Heeseung’s remark, giving him a glance. "You always know how to make me smile, Heeseung."
Heeseung's heart skipped a beat, but he quickly composed himself. "I'm glad to hear that. It's important to make each other happy, right?"
You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. You playfully teased Heeseung, "Definitely. Geez, where did you learn these words from? Beomgyu?"
What a way to ruin the mood.
The mention of Beomgyu's name brought a slight pang to Heeseung's heart. It seemed like no matter the conversation, Beomgyu's name would always find its way into the mix. He couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't just be the two of you, free from the presence of his best friend. Was it wrong for him to feel a sense of dread whenever Beomgyu's name was mentioned?
"Nope," Heeseung replied with a forced smile, hoping to mask the feelings swirling within him. He didn't want to burden you with his internal struggles, especially when you seemed to be oblivious to any underlying tension.
You took his response at face value, assuming that everything was fine. Unaware of the mixed emotions he was suppressing, you continued to talk with him, leaving Heeseung to grapple with his unspoken feelings.
Heeseung knew deep down that he would forever be seen as just a friend in your eyes. Despite this painful realization, he couldn't bring himself to reveal the truth and risk losing the precious bond you both shared.
Each passing day, he endured the ache in his heart, all while putting on a facade of unwavering support and friendship. It was the least he could do for you to see you happy with Beomgyu. He didn't want to disrupt the harmony that existed between you and risk causing any rifts.
Even though it pained him with each passing day.
Is it bad to always wish for more?
THREE.
"Class is so boring," you whispered to Heeseung, unable to hide your lack of interest in the lecture. The monotony of the school routine had already set in, and it felt like another uneventful week.
"I know, right?" Heeseung replied, resting his head on his hand. He couldn't afford to let himself get too bored, knowing that you would probably ask him for notes once you snapped out of your drowsiness. He slid his notebook closer to you, diligently jotting down everything the teacher was saying.
"Thank you, Hee," you whispered, grateful for his assistance as you gazed absentmindedly out the window. You couldn't have asked for a better seatmate.
Heeseung hummed in response, stealing a glance at you and breaking into a warm smile.
Heeseung continued writing, his focus momentarily interrupted by the sensation of a cold marker tracing along his resting arm. He glanced over to find you grinning mischievously and drawing random doodles on his skin.
A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he pointed at one of the drawings. "What the hell is that?" he teased, referring to the lopsided smiley face you had sketched. You joined in his laughter, defending your artistic skills.
"Hey, don't judge my smiley faces! You were moving too much, so it ended up like that!" You playfully protested, pretending to be offended by his critique.
"Sure, sure. I could definitely do better. Give me the marker," Heeseung teased, reaching out to take the marker from you.
"No way!" you exclaimed, pulling it away from his reach. "Oh, come on! Let me show you my superior doodling skills," he pleaded, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
You playfully shook your head, resisting his attempts to snatch the marker from your grasp. "Sorry, but I don't think the world is ready for your 'superior' doodling skills," you teased, a smirk dancing on your lips.
Heeseung feigned a hurt expression, dramatically clutching his chest. "Ouch, that hurts! My artistic abilities are being underestimated here," he replied, mock offense evident in his tone.
You laughed, enjoying the playful banter between the two of you. It was moments like these that made you appreciate Heeseung's presence even more. He always knew how to bring a smile to your face, even in the midst of a dull classroom.
"Here, let me give it a try," Heeseung insisted, determined to draw something special. You relented, finally surrendering the marker to his hands. He gently took hold of your wrist, bringing your arm closer to him, and focused on creating the perfect smiley face.
As he meticulously crafted the drawing, his brows furrowed in concentration. However, despite his efforts, the smiley face seemed to take on a similar drooped appearance to the one you had drawn on him earlier. Heeseung's disappointment was evident on his face.
"Look—" he began to say, but you quickly interjected with a laugh, not letting him finish. You found it amusing that the smiley face turned out nearly identical to yours.
"See! I told you, it's the same for everyone!" you exclaimed, chuckling at the matching doodle he had created on your arm.
"It might be the marker's fault," Heeseung suggested, trying to find an explanation.
"Fault or not, at least we have these adorable matching doodles now," you replied, a warm smile gracing your lips. You moved your arm closer to his, comparing the two smiley faces side by side.
“They’re actually pretty cute,” Heeseung said with a smile, his eyes reflecting genuine warmth. He couldn’t help but find the simplicity of the smiley-face drawings charming.
"They definitely are," you agreed, admiring the simple yet endearing drawings. For a brief moment, it felt like there was nothing else in the world except the two of you, sharing a genuine connection.
“Oh right—Beomgyu’s basketball game is next week; are you coming?” You asked as the question finally popped into your head.
There was a basketball game already. Heeseung frowned, quickly regaining composure, so you didn’t notice. He didn't want you to notice the twinge of disappointment he felt deep inside. In that instant, Heeseung couldn't help but be reminded of the unspoken truth between you.
No matter how much he cared for you, Beomgyu would always hold a special place in your heart as your boyfriend. Heeseung, on the other hand, would forever remain in the background, a loyal friend with unrequited feelings.
He had grown accustomed to being the one in the background, supporting you both silently. But in moments like these, the contrast between his hidden feelings and the reality of your relationship with Beomgyu became more apparent, casting a shadow over his heart. It was a reminder that no matter how much he wished for something more, he would always be the one left behind, watching from afar.
As much as he wanted to be happy for Beomgyu and support your relationship, it was hard not to feel a tinge of sadness and longing. But Heeseung knew he had to hide those emotions to preserve the friendship that meant so much to him.
With a sigh, Heeseung forced a smile and added, "I'm sure it'll be a great game. I'll be there to cheer Beomgyu on." Deep down, however, he couldn't help but wish for a different outcome, knowing it was a distant dream.
You nodded, sensing a shift in Heeseung's demeanor, but you didn't press any further. It seemed like your words passed through him, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. The sound of the bell ringing didn't even register for him, further emphasizing his distant state of mind.
Concern crossed your face as you gently touched his arm, trying to bring him back to the present. "Heeseung, are you okay? You seem a bit off today."
He blinked, refocusing his attention on you, and mustered a small smile. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just got lost in my thoughts. I'm fine, really."
Though his words reassured you, a lingering worry remained. It was unlike Heeseung to be so absent-minded. As you both gathered your belongings and prepared to leave the classroom, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering him—something he wasn't willing to share just yet.
"Let's meet at our usual spot, alright? I'm sure Gyu's already waiting," you said, getting ready to leave the classroom while Heeseung was still packing up.
Of course he'd be waiting.
"Yeah, see you guys later," Heeseung replied, attempting to sound cheerful, which elicited a faint smile from you.
Putting away his pencil case, Heeseung glanced at the oddly drawn smiley face and the random doodles you had playfully sketched on him. It brought a genuine smile to his face. However, as he let out a heavy sigh, he gathered his belongings and exited the classroom, making his way towards the usual meeting spot.
In his heart, Heeseung held onto the hope that his sincere smiles and friendly gestures would be enough to conceal his true feelings, at least for the time being. As he walked towards the rendezvous point, a bittersweet smile lingered on his lips. He knew he could still bring a small measure of happiness to your life, even if it couldn't be in the way he longed for.
Yes, he could do that, he reassured himself, even though deep down he couldn't help but wonder how long he could keep up the facade.
He shouldn’t have any trouble doing so, right?
FOUR.
It was the day. The day for Beomgyu’s basketball game, the one you’ve been worried about. Heeseung doesn’t understand why your boyfriend was a good player anyway.
“You think I should make a sign?” you asked, seeking Heeseung’s opinion.
“Depends on how big it’s going to be,” he replied, maintaining his nonchalant demeanor.
“I don’t know, maybe just like a small banner that says, ‘BEOMGYU ACE!’ It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think so?” You said, already excitedly planning how you would like to decorate it.
Hearing you use the term “Ace” for others always felt a bit weird to him. He’d listen to it very often now when you went to compliment Beomgyu. He couldn’t help but reminisce about the times you’d called him that—a little joke between you two. But it seemed like things had changed, and he had to accept it.
Although the word “Ace” seems to suit him better. You should’ve just made a sign for him instead, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice that desire. How would he do that anyway?
You didn’t know the slight wince that crossed Heeseung’s face as his back was turned towards you. He forced a small smile when he turned around, focusing on being a supportive friend.
“Yeah, I think that would be nice,” Heeseung finally said, breaking the brief silence. “I’m sure he’d love it.”
Heeseung would’ve liked it. A lot.
So there he was, listening attentively and giving you suggestions on how to decorate it. After all, it was Beomgyu’s important day, and you two had to do something to support him.
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When you two arrived, the excitement was noticeable in the air. Heeseung found himself amidst a sea of people, sitting on the bleachers with you.
“I’m already nervous,” You say to Heeseung, not being able to shake off the feeling. You weren’t playing; Beomgyu was, but you couldn’t help it.
“I’m sure Beomgyu will do great; he always has,” Heeseung reassures you, grabbing the water bottle next to him. “Here, this might help you a bit.”
You took the water, taking anxious sips. Heeseung was right; Beomgyu was, without a doubt, a fantastic player. His basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you closer to him.
As the game was about to begin, the atmosphere in the gymnasium became charged with excitement. The sound of enthusiastic cheers and rhythmic clapping of hands filled the air. Heeseung and you stood up, joining the crowd in cheering for Beomgyu’s team.
When Beomgyu’s team made their entrance, you couldn’t contain your excitement. The radiant energy exuded by the team was palpable, and you eagerly searched for Beomgyu among his teammates. Your face lit up when your eyes locked with his, and you couldn't help but let out a squeal of delight. "Beomgyu!" you called out, your voice filled with admiration and support. He noticed you in the crowd and grinned, waving back at you with a mixture of pride and determination.
As Beomgyu's gaze met Heeseung's, a moment of acknowledgment passed between them. Beomgyu raised his hand and waved at Heeseung, a genuine smile gracing his face. Heeseung reciprocates the gesture, waving back with equal warmth, momentarily pushing aside his internal struggles.
As the referee blew the whistle and the game began, Beomgyu's determination was apparent in his every move. You could tell that Beomgyu was motivated to perform well in the game, not just for himself but also for you. The desire to impress and make you proud shone in his eyes as he prepared to take the court. It was evident that he wanted to demonstrate his skills and prove himself as a capable athlete, all while knowing that your eyes would be on him throughout the game.
Beomgyu's basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you toward him. His agility, precision, and finesse on the court were captivating to watch. You admired his dedication and natural talent, which made him stand out among his peers. It was no wonder that you were attracted to him, as his basketball prowess added to his overall appeal.
Heeseung, although standing beside you, couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. He masked his true feelings with a supportive smile, even though inside, it hurt him to witness the connection between you and Beomgyu growing stronger. He couldn't deny the talent and effort Beomgyu put into the game, but a part of him longed for your attention to shift toward him.
Every now and then, Heeseung's eyes would unconsciously drift to you. He watched as you cheered, your voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. Your laughter and smiles were contagious, spreading joy to those around you. He couldn't help but feel a mix of happiness and sadness, knowing that he wasn't the one who could evoke those reactions from you.
Seeing you smile and cheer for your boyfriend, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a pang of longing deep within his chest. What was so different between him and Beomgyu? Is it because Beomgyu was more good-looking? Did he have the features that could make anyone fall for him and not him?
His thoughts were slowly eating him alive, as if they were gnawing on his skin. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, reminding himself to focus on supporting his friends.
As the game reached its climax, Beomgyu's team secured a victory, and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Heeseung clapped enthusiastically, sharing in the jubilant atmosphere. He couldn't deny the pride he felt for his friend's achievement.
After the game, filled with excitement, you and Heeseung approached Beomgyu. The elation on your faces was palpable, but unbeknownst to you, Heeseung was grappling with inner turmoil.
"You did amazing!" you exclaimed, extending your arms for a congratulatory hug from Beomgyu. He reciprocated with a wide smile, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground, twirling you in a moment of pure joy.
Your infectious laughter echoed through the air, enveloping the scene. It was as if Heeseung blended into the background, a side character of your happiness, while his own heartache intensified.
Heeseung mustered a smile, trying to suppress the gnawing emptiness he felt inside. Is it okay for him to feel this way?
“I saw your signs; they made me play even better today,” Beomgyu giggled. Heeseung smiled, glad it helped him, even if it did just a bit.
He congratulated Beomgyu once again, his words filled with genuine admiration despite the turmoil within him. Deep down, he wanted to be the one who could sweep you off your feet, revel in the joy of your laughter, and share those intimate moments with you.
"Let's eat out!" you suggested enthusiastically once Beomgyu put you down from the twirl.
"I would love to, but maybe next time? Coach told me there's going to be a team dinner, and I don't want to miss that," Beomgyu explained with a slight pout.
Weird. Heeseung found it weird. Beomgyu rarely attended team dinners, despite being the ace player. The coach would always have to persuade him to join. Nevertheless, Heeseung pushed the thought aside and chimed in, "Aw, well, next time then?"
Beomgyu nodded in agreement, causing your frown to fade as you understood his commitment. "Alright, Gyu, make sure you eat plenty, okay? I'll go home with Hee."
As you turned to leave, Heeseung caught a fleeting glimpse of an indiscernible expression on Beomgyu's face. It was a mix of emotions that left Heeseung questioning his own perception. Was he imagining things, or was there something more to Beomgyu's look?
Maybe he was too tired from that game.
FIVE.
As Beomgyu's schedule became increasingly packed with various commitments, Heeseung couldn't help but notice how you sought comfort and companionship from him. While he enjoyed being there for you, a twinge of insecurity crept into his thoughts; sometimes he wondered if he was just a backup when Beomgyu wasn't available. However, he considered you his priority, so he let go of those thoughts.
"You won't believe what Beomgyu did today!" you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice. You plopped right next to him, making him take off his headphones.
Heeseung tilted his head, giving you his full attention. "What happened?"
"He completely forgot about our plans again," you sighed, exasperated. "We were supposed to go to the movies, but he got caught up with his friends and didn't even bother to let me know. I checked his story, and he’s having fun with them. It's like I'm not even a priority."
Heeseung frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be really frustrating."
You nodded, grateful for his understanding. "Yeah, it is. I mean, I know he's busy, but it hurts when he constantly lets me down. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a second option."
And that’s what he feels whenever you hang out with Beomgyu. The feeling of being considered the second-best option for such a long time weighed heavily on him. He wondered if you could truly comprehend his perspective and the emotions he grappled with every day.
"I understand more than you know," he replied softly, his voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "Sometimes, it can be really tough feeling like you're not the first choice. But please remember, you're incredible, and anyone would be lucky to have you as their priority."
You’d definitely be lucky, but he wouldn’t be. He considered you his number one, but did you? Definitely not.
"You know, Heeseung, sometimes I just don't understand Beomgyu." You sighed, frustration evident in your voice. "He can be so oblivious to my needs and feelings. It's like he's always caught up in his own world."
Heeseung nodded sympathetically, his gaze fixed on you. "I get it. Relationships can be complicated, and it's normal to have ups and downs. But remember, communication is key. Have you talked to him about how you feel?"
You sighed again, running a hand through your hair. "I've tried, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't really listen or take my concerns seriously. It's frustrating."
Heeseung's expression softened, and he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I understand how important it is to feel heard and understood. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here for you, right? Your happiness matters to me."
A small smile formed on your face as you looked at Heeseung. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. You always know how to make me feel better."
Heeseung smiled back, his eyes filled with a mix of fondness and longing. "That's what friends are for, right? I'll always be here for you, no matter what."
Just friends, nothing more.
Heeseung, wanting to alleviate your disappointment, mustered the courage to offer a solution. "Hey, if you don't want those movie tickets to go to waste, I could go with you instead. We can make it a fun outing, just the two of us." He tried his best to sound cheerful, hoping to turn the situation around and spend quality time with you, even if it meant setting aside his own feelings.
You looked at Heeseung, surprise evident in your eyes. "Really? You'd go with me?"
Heeseung nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Of course. I wouldn't want those tickets to go to waste, and besides, it'll be fun. We can grab some snacks, enjoy the movie, and have a great time together."
A mixture of gratitude and excitement washed over you as you realized you wouldn't have to miss out on the movie after all. "Thank you, Heeseung. That means a lot to me. I'm really looking forward to it."
Heeseung's smile widened, but deep inside, he couldn't help but wish it was more than just a friendly outing. Nevertheless, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to make the most of the time he would spend with you.
It was time. Heeseung stood outside the theater, waiting for you to join him. He couldn't help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation. It was just a movie outing with a friend, but it felt significant to him.
As you approached, Heeseung's heart skipped a beat. You looked stunning, a smile lighting up your face as you greeted him. "Hey, Heeseung! Sorry for keeping you waiting."
Heeseung shook his head, a warm smile on his lips. "No worries at all. I'm glad you made it. Shall we go in?"
You nodded eagerly, and together you entered the theater. "I'll grab our tickets, and you can take care of the snacks," you suggested, prompting a nod from Heeseung before he headed towards the snack counter. He contemplated whether to get two small bags of popcorn or opt for a large bucket. Eventually, he settled on the large one, partly for its convenience in carrying, but deep down, he couldn't help but hope for subtle moments when your hands would touch while reaching for the popcorn.
Returning to you with his arms full of snacks, Heeseung couldn't hide his satisfied grin. You looked at the amount of snacks in awe, surprised he had gotten so much. Heeseung chuckled, realizing he might have gone a little overboard with the snacks. "Yeah, I might have gotten carried away with the popcorn. But hey, we won't go hungry during the movie!"
You giggled and took a handful of gummy worms, popping one into your mouth. "I appreciate your enthusiasm for snacks. You know me too well, Heeseung."
Heeseung couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at your words. He loved how easily you could share these simple moments together. As you settled into your seats, Heeseung couldn't help but steal glances at you. The dimmed lights added a certain glow to your features, and he found himself captivated by your presence.
As the lights dimmed and the film started, you settled into your seats, passing the snacks between you. During the movie, there were moments when your hands brushed against each other while reaching for the snacks, bringing a subtle thrill to Heeseung.
You both shared a lighthearted laugh, enjoying the anticipation of the movie ahead. Throughout the movie, Heeseung laughed at the funny scenes, sharing popcorn and exchanging comments with you. He enjoyed the easy conversation, the shared moments of laughter, and the shared snacks. It felt comfortable and familiar, yet a part of him longed for something more.
As the credits rolled and the lights came up, you turned to Heeseung with a satisfied smile. "That movie was amazing! Thanks for the snacks, Heeseung. You always know how to make things more enjoyable."
Heeseung smiled warmly at you, feeling a sense of contentment. "I'm glad you liked it. It was my pleasure, really."
Leaving the theater, you walked side by side, engaged in lively conversation about the movie. Heeseung couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be if these outings were more than just friendly gestures. But for now, he cherished every moment spent with you, silently hoping that one day the line between friendship and something more would blur.
"My Uber is about to arrive," you announced, glancing at your phone to check for updates.
"Alright," Heeseung nodded briskly.
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Thank you so much for keeping me company today." You expressed your gratitude, a genuine smile lighting up your face as you waved goodbye.
Heeseung waved back, watching you as you walked away. The chilly air nipped at his cheeks, but a warmth spread through his being. It wasn't just the physical warmth he sought, but the warmth that came from being in your presence, even for a short while.
As he strolled along with his hands tucked in his pockets, he couldn't help but reflect on the day's events. The shared laughter, the moments of closeness, and the genuine connection he felt with you brought a sense of fulfillment that transcended the wintry weather. He couldn't deny the happiness that blossomed within him, fueling his hope for a future where he could be more than just a friend in your life.
With each step, Heeseung carried the flickering flame of his feelings, knowing that one day he would have to summon the courage to illuminate the truth and reveal the depths of his affection and desire. Until then, he treasured the memories made and the moments shared, cherishing the warmth that enveloped him as he embarked on his journey towards an uncertain but hopeful tomorrow.
All he could do was hope. And that hope was ignited just because of today.
SIX.
Five months into the school year, the weird nature of your relationship with Beomgyu continued. The on-again, off-again pattern left you feeling confused and hurt. Sometimes he would be present, acting as if nothing had happened, only to suddenly vanish without a warning. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that took its toll on your heart.
Throughout it all, Heeseung stood by your side, silently witnessing your pain. He despised seeing you upset, especially over someone who claimed to be your lover. He wanted to be the one who could bring you stability and happiness—the person you could rely on without fear of abandonment.
"I don't understand why he keeps doing this to you," Heeseung expressed with a mix of frustration and concern. "You deserve so much better—someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve."
You looked up at Heeseung, grateful for his unwavering support. "I don't know, Hee. I keep holding onto the hope that things will change and that he'll finally commit and be there for me. But it's exhausting."
Heeseung reached out, gently rubbing his hand on your back. “You know, it’s okay to reconsider your relationship with him.”
As tears welled up in your eyes and you buried your face in your knees, you confessed, "I know, Hee. Love doesn't just vanish easily. Despite everything, I still have feelings for him. You know, I still love him."
Heeseung's heart shattered, resonating with your pain, though you remained unaware of his own hidden emotions.
“Yeah…love doesn’t disappear easily, no matter the obstacle someone could face,” he replied, forcing a bitter smile, careful to conceal his own feelings that mirrored yours.
Heeseung's words caught you off guard, and you looked up at him, wiping away your tears. "What do you mean?"
Heeseung hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, sometimes we hold onto love even when it hurts us, even when we know deep down that it may not be the best thing for us. It's difficult to let go, especially when our hearts are involved."
You furrowed your brows, trying to understand his cryptic message. "Are you...talking about me and Beomgyu?"
Don’t slip up, Heeseung.
Heeseung sighed, his gaze filled with empathy. "I'm just saying that sometimes we need to prioritize our own happiness and well-being. Love should bring us joy and fulfillment, not constant pain and uncertainty."
Why was his love for you hurting him instead?
You nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. "I guess you're right. It's just hard to let go of something that meant so much to me."
Whew, he escaped that easily.
Tears welled up in your eyes once again, but this time they were tears of gratitude. "Thank you, Heeseung. Thank you for being there for me and helping me see things more clearly."
Heeseung gave you a warm smile, his heartache masked by genuine concern. "Anytime, YN. I'll always be here for you, supporting you every step of the way. Just please talk to him.”
“I’ll try.” You see him offering a hug, which you gladly accept. You felt comfortable in his embrace, feeling the tension in your body disappear.
You felt better, while someone else watched you two in anger.
It was Beomgyu. Why? He doesn’t even know.
Beomgyu hurriedly approached, his hand reaching out to grab your arm.
"What the heck, Gyu?" you exclaimed, caught off guard by his sudden action.
"Let's have a conversation," he said urgently.
"Out of nowhere?" you questioned, puzzled by his timing.
"Isn't that what you've been asking for?" Beomgyu retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.
Yeah, but after five fucking months?” You scoffed, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.
“Now, I've been distant, and I apologize for that. I've been trying to figure things out, but it's not fair to you. I don't want to string you along if I'm not sure about us anymore."
A mix of frustration and sadness welled up within you. "So, what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"
Beomgyu sighed, his gaze falling to the ground. "I... I don't know. I’m not saying that. I need some time to think and to sort through my feelings. That’s why I keep telling you to talk to me." Frustration starts to get to him, still keeping his grip on your arm.
Heeseung, who had been standing nearby, watching the tense exchange, couldn't bear to see you in pain. He stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on your back. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he reassured softly, his voice filled with empathy.
"Hey, let's step away from this for a moment," he urged gently, trying to diffuse the situation.
Beomgyu's eyes narrowed, his anger turning towards Heeseung. "What's your problem? Stay out of this!" He snapped, his voice laced with frustration.
Heeseung stood his ground, his voice steady. "I care about her, and I can't stand by and watch her get hurt. We both want what's best for her, don't we?"
Beomgyu clenched his fists, his expression filled with defiance. "Don't act like you know what's best for her. She's my girlfriend, not yours!"
Heeseung's gaze hardened, his protective instincts kicking in. "What’s wrong with you? It's not about me or you. It's about her happiness, and right now, she's hurting. So, I'm going to make sure she's okay."
Beomgyu's face hardened, a stubborn determination replacing his previous uncertainty. He loosened his grip, gritting his teeth. "Fine, but this isn't over. We'll talk, just not now."
As Beomgyu walked away, leaving you and Heeseung behind, the weight of the situation settled heavily on you. But with Heeseung by your side, offering his unwavering support, you found a glimmer of strength amidst the pain.
With determination in his eyes, Heeseung gently tried to guide your mind away from the heated argument, leading you to a quieter and more peaceful space where he could offer you the comfort and support you needed.
“You okay?” Heeseung asked, looking at your not-okay state.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You said, lying straight through your teeth. You were not fine; how could you be?
“It’s okay; just be honest with me,” Heeseung said, sitting beside you.
Be honest. It's ironic for him to be saying such a thing. Was he being honest with you? Definitely not, but he argues that it’s for the greater good.
“I don’t think me and Beomgyu are going to work out,” you sighed, running your hand through your hair. “I think it’s over.”
“Oh,” Heeseung says, the only word slipping out of his mouth.
Heeseung's heart ached with conflicting emotions. He questioned his own motives, wondering why he still felt compelled to pursue you despite knowing that you loved Beomgyu so deeply. The weight of seeing you sad and torn between two people crushed him, as he couldn't bear the thought of causing you any more pain.
"Why am I even doing this?" Heeseung thought to himself, doubt lingering in his mind. "What's the point of chasing someone who will soon be my best friend's ex and still has feelings for him?"
Yet, as he contemplated these questions, he couldn't ignore the fact that you were his best friend, someone he cared deeply about. The bond you shared was special, and he cherished every moment spent together. It was that connection that made him question if he should listen to his doubts or follow his heart.
Heeseung wrestled with his conflicting feelings, torn between his desire for your happiness and his own emotional well-being. The uncertainty gnawed at him, leaving him uncertain of the path he should take.
Would he rather be a supporting character or a second love interest that gets pushed away?
The answer was clear. Maybe it was time to question his doubts—his doubts about pursuing you.
Maybe.
SEVEN.
"You're telling me you two got back together again?" Heeseung asked, trying to hide his disappointed tone.
He had hoped that things would have changed, that you would have realized your worth and moved on from the tiring relationship with Beomgyu. But hearing that you had reconnected with him only deepened his disappointment.
Heeseung's heart sank as he braced himself for the answer, knowing that it would confirm his fears. Yet he couldn't help but hope for a different outcome—a chance for him to finally express his true feelings for you.
"Yeah, we worked things out," you replied, oblivious to the underlying emotions in Heeseung's voice. “He apologized and got me gifts.”
Heeseung forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, his voice sounding a bit strained.
You looked at him, sensing something was off. "Hee, are you okay?"
Heeseung quickly composed himself and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just... surprised, I guess. But if you're happy, that's what matters."
You reached out and touched his arm, concern evident in your eyes. "Thanks, Hee. You're such a good best friend."
Best friend. The words echoed in Heeseung's mind, causing a wave of frustration and longing. He despised how effortlessly those two words rolled off your tongue, unaware of the impact they had on him. It felt like a constant reminder of the boundary he could never cross and the role he would forever play in your life.
Heeseung yearned for a time when he could fully embrace being your best friend without the conflicting emotions that accompanied it. He wished he could accept his title and find contentment in it, but his heart yearned for more. The desire to be more than just a friend consumed him, even as he fought against it.
Every time he heard those words, a mixture of hope and pain washed over him. He longed for a day when he could call you more than just a friend, when he could openly express his true feelings without fear of jeopardizing the precious bond you shared.
"Yeah, your best friend," Heeseung replied through gritted teeth, his tone laced with a mix of bitterness and resignation. He tried his best to mask his true feelings and make it seem like he was content with being just that. But inside, his heart ached with unspoken longing and unfulfilled desires.
He will just continue what he’s best at. So he played the part, pretending that being your best friend was enough, even when it tore him apart inside. He swallowed his own yearnings, hiding them beneath a facade of acceptance, all the while silently hoping that one day you would see him in a different light.
"You want to go to the party tonight?" You asked, attempting to shift the mood and bring a spark of excitement into the conversation.
"What party?" Heeseung inquired, his tone slightly disinterested.
"You know, Mark's party. I heard his parents left for work again," you explained, hoping to pique his interest.
Heeseung hesitated for a moment before responding, "I'll think about it."
"Come on, it's our final year! Let's loosen up a bit and have some fun," you urged, hoping to persuade him to join in on the festivities.
Heeseung looked at you with a mix of uncertainty and longing. He wanted to be there for you, to make you happy, but the idea of attending a party where he might have to witness you with someone else was a painful thought. Nevertheless, he couldn't bear to let you down.
"Alright, I'll go," he finally agreed, mustering a smile despite the conflicting emotions swirling within him. "Let's make it a memorable night."
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"Hey Heeseung, are you ready—" Sunghoon's voice interrupted Heeseung's frantic search as he opened the door. Sunghoon's eyes widened at the sight of the chaotic scene in Heeseung's room. Clothes were strewn all over the place, making it nearly impossible to find a suitable outfit.
"Heeseung, what the hell?" Sunghoon exclaimed, bewildered by the mess.
Heeseung sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and self-doubt. "I don't know, Sunghoon. I just... I want to find the right outfit, you know? Something that makes me feel good and confident."
Sunghoon shook his head, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You're overthinking it, Heeseung. Trust me, you always look great, no matter what you wear. Just pick something and let's go have some fun."
"Who are you trying to impress?" Sunghoon chuckled, enjoying the sight of his friend's newfound determination.
You. He was trying to impress you tonight. Heeseung hesitated for a moment, the truth lingering on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't bring himself to admit it, not even to his closest friend. "No one," he replied, trying to play it off casually.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, seeing through Heeseung's response. "You're a big liar," he teased. "But fine, I'll help you out. Let's find you something that will turn heads."
As they sifted through the clothes together, Sunghoon offered suggestions and shared his fashion expertise. Heeseung appreciated his friend's support and the distraction it provided from his own conflicted feelings. Deep down, he knew that impressing you shouldn't be his main priority, but he couldn't help but want to stand out in your eyes.
After a few moments of searching, he pulled out a well-fitting black button-down shirt. Its sleek design and subtle pattern added a touch of sophistication.
He paired the shirt with dark black jeans that hugged his frame just right, emphasizing his slender figure. The jeans were slightly distressed, giving off a cool and effortless vibe. Heeseung knew they were one of your favorite pairs, and he hoped you would notice.
To complete the ensemble, he opted for a pair of black shoes that added a simple touch to the overall look. They were comfortable yet stylish, striking the perfect balance between casual and put-together.
As Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence. The outfit accentuated his best features, highlighting his charm and charisma. He knew he looked good, and he hoped it would catch your attention.
As they finally settled on an outfit, Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, feeling a newfound sense of confidence. Sunghoon grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "Looking good, Heeseung. Now let's go and make some memories tonight."
Heeseung nodded, appreciating Sunghoon's friendship more than ever. "Thanks, Sunghoon. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Sunghoon shrugged with a playful smirk on his face. "Hey, that's what best friends are for, right?” Sunghoon and Heeseung walk out, walking side by side, getting ready to go to Mark’s house.
And as expected, Heeseung stepped into the vibrant atmosphere of the party, immediately engulfed by the pulsating beats of the music and the contagious energy of the crowd. The room was filled with colorful lights, illuminating the main room, where people were already showing off their moves.
He glanced towards the backyard, where Mark's large swimming pool became the center of attention. Laughter and splashing sounds filled the air as people cannonballed into the water or lounged on inflatable floats, enjoying the refreshing respite from the heat.
The party was in full swing, with friends mingling, sharing laughter, and creating memories. Heeseung navigated through the lively crowd, feeling a mix of excitement and curiosity. He wondered if you were already there, enjoying the festivities and embracing the carefree spirit of the night. As they continued walking, they spotted Mark, who soon noticed their presence.
"Hey, look who decided to grace us with his presence!" Mark exclaimed, pulling Heeseung into a friendly hug. "I didn't expect you to show up, man."
Sunghoon chuckled, joining in the teasing. "Yeah, I thought Heeseung was allergic to parties or something."
Heeseung shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Well, you know how it is. It's senior year; I've got to make some memories."
Deep down, he knew he was lying. The real reason he had decided to come was you. Only your presence could have convinced him to step out of his comfort zone and immerse himself in the party atmosphere. But he wasn't ready to share that truth just yet.
Sunghoon chuckled, nudging Heeseung playfully. "Yeah, right. We all know there's a secret motive behind your sudden interest in parties."
Heeseung shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Maybe I just wanted to let loose and have some fun."
Mark grinned, oblivious to the unspoken tension. "Well, you came to the right place! Let's make some unforgettable memories tonight!"
As the music thumped in the background and the laughter of partygoers filled the air, Heeseung's gaze scanned the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. He couldn't help but wonder how the night would unfold and if fate would bring them closer or keep them apart. But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the moment and make the most of the night ahead.
As Heeseung scanned the room, his gaze landed on you, and time seemed to stand still. You were in the midst of a joyous conversation, your laughter filling the air. In that moment, it felt like the entire party faded into the background, and there was only you, illuminated by the soft glow of the lights. He couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty, his breath catching in his chest.
Your smile reached your eyes, and the sight of it sent warmth surging through Heeseung's veins. He felt a mix of emotions stirring within him—admiration, longing, and an unspoken desire. In that instant, he couldn't deny the strong pull he felt towards you and the way your presence had the power to brighten his world.
Heeseung's heart skipped a beat as he took a step closer, drawn to you like a magnet. However, he quickly reminded himself to maintain his composure. Tonight was about having fun, not revealing the depth of his feelings. With a subtle smile, he made his way towards you, ready to just see you up close. He left Sunghoon with his group of friends, walking towards you.
"Hey Hee," you replied, your smile growing wider as you took in his appearance. Something about him seemed different tonight, and you couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked. His hair fell casually over his forehead, giving him a slightly tousled yet effortlessly stylish look. The partially unbuttoned shirt revealed a glimpse of his collarbone, adding to his overall appeal. As he settled down beside you, you couldn't help but appreciate his presence, though a voice in your head scolded you for even thinking about your best friend in such terms.
You shook off the fleeting thought, reminding yourself of your friendship. It was only natural to notice when someone you cared about looked good, right?
"You look great," Heeseung complimented, his words barely audible over the blaring music.
"Hm?" you tried to respond, straining to hear him amidst the noise.
Seeing your confusion, Heeseung leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against your ear as he whispered, "You look pretty tonight."
His words sent an unexpected shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spread through your body. This wasn't the usual Heeseung you knew. There was something different about him tonight—a newfound confidence that intrigued and captivated you.
Lost for words, you simply smiled in response, appreciating the unexpected compliment. “You too,” you whispered in his ear, gaining a grin from Heeseung. He’s glad he looks great tonight; nobody else’s opinion matters now but yours.
"Where's Beomgyu?" Heeseung couldn't help but inquire, his curiosity getting the better of him as he searched the crowded party for any sign of his friend.
"He's off with his own friends. We decided to go our separate ways for the night," you replied with a hint of disappointment in your voice.
"Why?" Heeseung pressed further, genuinely wanting to understand the dynamics between you and Beomgyu.
You shrugged, a mixture of frustration and resignation evident on your face. "I don't know. He's got some friends he wants to impress, I guess."
Heeseung's heart sank a little at your response, knowing that you deserved better than being left behind for others. At that moment, an idea crossed his mind, and he mustered up the courage to offer it.
"Well, if he's not around, I can keep you company for the night," he suggested, his voice laced with a mix of sincerity and a hint of nervousness. Deep down, he hoped that you would accept his offer and give him a chance to show you a different kind of friendship—one that was unwavering and genuine.
You looked at Heeseung, surprised by his offer. A part of you wanted to decline, fearing that it could complicate your friendship. But another part of you, one that craved his unwavering presence, couldn't help but consider the idea.
A smile played on your lips as you nodded. "I'd love that, Hee. It's always a good time with you."
Heeseung's face lit up with a mixture of relief and joy. He couldn't hide the happiness that swelled within him at your acceptance. For a moment, he forgot about his own unrequited feelings, focusing instead on making sure you had a memorable night.
As the night unfolded, you and Heeseung found yourselves engaged in lively conversations, laughter, and shared moments that reinforced the deep bond between you. Heeseung went out of his way to ensure you felt valued and appreciated, his unwavering support evident in every word and action.
You couldn't help but notice how different Heeseung was tonight—more confident, more present. And you found yourself seeing him in a new light, appreciating the depth of his friendship and the genuine care he had for you.
As the party continued, you found yourself losing track of time, completely immersed in the connection you shared with Heeseung. The music blared in the background, but it seemed distant compared to the warmth and comfort you found in each other's presence.
Eventually, the night began to wind down, and the party started to thin out. You and Heeseung found a quieter corner where you could talk without shouting over the music. The atmosphere became more intimate, and the energy between you grew palpable.
You and Heeseung found a tranquil spot outside, settling down on the grass and gazing up at the starry sky. The twinkling stars illuminated the darkness, creating a serene backdrop for your conversation.
A peaceful silence enveloped the two of you, offering a respite from the blaring music that still echoed from the party house. The ambiance felt both calm and tinged with a hint of melancholy, causing Heeseung's thoughts to revolve around you. Concern for your well-being mingled with his own personal worries, making him feel an unexpected surge of boldness.
Under the night sky, as the gentle breeze swept through, Heeseung found himself captivated by the moment. The weight of his emotions and the intensity of his connection with you compelled him to embrace the vulnerability of the present.
Heeseung's gaze shifted from the stars to your face, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and determination. It was as if the night had emboldened him to confront the unspoken feelings that had long resided within his heart.
"I love you," Heeseung confessed, his voice carrying a mix of apprehension and sincerity.
Your eyes widened in surprise, caught off guard by his sudden declaration. Initially, you brushed it off as his casual sentimentality, assuming he was merely in one of those cheesy yet cringe-worthy moods. After all, it was dark outside, and the night had a way of making people more introspective and sentimental.
For Heeseung, it was a rare opportunity to release the weight of his emotions. It was the only moment he could unburden himself, knowing that you wouldn't suspect anything beyond a platonic exchange. It was his chance to express his true feelings without you realizing the depth of his affection.
You smiled, patting him gently on the back and reciprocating his words with a lighthearted tone. "I love you too, Heeseung."
But within Heeseung, a bittersweet sensation lingered. Why did your response feel so effortless, devoid of any romantic intentions? Why did those words, which he had longed to hear, now taste somewhat bitter?
He had always imagined that such sweet words, exchanged between two people in love, would bring joy and contentment. But instead, they evoked a sense of unease within him—a mixture of guilt and confusion.
"Are you okay, Hee?" you asked, concern evident in your voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry," Heeseung replied, offering a small smile to conceal the turmoil he felt inside. It was another lie slipping effortlessly from his lips, mirroring the ease with which you had spoken those words to him.
At that moment, Heeseung realized that you both shared something in common. The ability to utter those words without fully grasping their weight or the impact they carried. And perhaps, in that shared understanding, he found solace, alleviating some of the guilt that had consumed him.
EIGHT.
"It's been six months. College application responses are starting to come back, and it's making this whole month nerve-wracking," you confessed to Heeseung, your voice filled with anxiety. Once again, Beomgyu wasn't present, despite his promises. At this point, you had learned not to get your hopes up anymore.
"I'm sure your dream school will accept you. Results come out today, right?" Heeseung reassured you, trying to offer you some comfort.
"Yeah, for some schools. But I'm nervous about us not being able to get into the same school," you admitted, your worry palpable.
Heeseung shared the same fear. The thought of being separated from you, especially during such a crucial time in your lives, weighed heavily on his mind. Yet he never wanted to sever ties with you. You had made a promise to always stick together, no matter what obstacles you faced.
"Well, we're all going to pursue different professions, aren't we?" Heeseung reasoned, hoping to ease your concerns.
"I guess... God, it's almost time," you muttered, feeling the tension build as the moment of truth approached.
"Do you want to check alone?" you asked, contemplating whether you should face the results on your own.
"We can check our emails together to see if we get a response back," Heeseung suggested, offering to share the moment with you.
"That sounds good. Let's sit outside," you agreed, seeking solace in the open air.
"Heeseung, it's telling me to check my portal. Oh my god!" you exclaimed, feeling a surge of panic as you settled down.
Heeseung, who hadn't received any notification, calmly replied, "Oh, I didn't get anything yet. Just go check."
Nervously, you took a deep breath, your palms sweaty and your legs trembling. This was your dream school, and the anticipation was almost unbearable.
"Okay, I'm logging in," you announced, mustering the courage to face the outcome.
You entered your login information, your heart pounding with each key pressed. Heeseung watched you intently, sharing your anxiety even though his own fate was yet to be revealed.
As the webpage loaded, time seemed to slow down. The anticipation was palpable as you navigated to the admissions section. Your eyes scanned the screen, searching for the decisive message that would determine your future.
And there it was—a notification in bold letters, your heart skipping a beat. You clicked on it, and a mixture of relief and joy washed over you as you read the words: "Congratulations! You have been accepted to your dream school."
Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes, and you turned to Heeseung, beaming with excitement. "Heeseung, I got in! I can't believe it!"
Heeseung's face lit up with a genuine smile as he watched you get all excited.
"That's amazing! I knew you would make it. Congratulations!" He exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug.
"I can't believe it! I got in!" you exclaimed, your eyes gleaming with joy.
“That was all you, YN! I’m so proud of you!” Heeseung beamed, a proud smile spreading across his face.
You couldn't contain your excitement, and a wide grin adorned your face. "Thank you, Heeseung! I'm so grateful for your support throughout this journey."
As the realization of your achievement settled in, you couldn't wait to share the news with your parents. Their pride and joy would only amplify the happiness you were feeling at that moment.
Curiosity filled the air as you turned to Heeseung, eager to know the outcome of his own college application. "Have you received your results yet?"
Heeseung shook his head with a hint of anticipation. "Not yet, but I'm staying hopeful. Now, let's focus on celebrating your success. How about we grab a meal together? It's my treat for your incredible achievement."
Your heart swelled with gratitude, touched by Heeseung's gesture. "That sounds wonderful, Hee! Thank you for always being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you."
As you entered your favorite restaurant, a sense of comfort washed over you. The familiar surroundings and inviting aromas instantly put you at ease. You settled into a cozy booth, ready to indulge in a well-deserved celebration.
Heeseung's words resonated with warmth as he encouraged you: "Order whatever you want, YN. Today is your day, and I want to treat you."
A smile played on your lips, appreciating his generosity and thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Heeseung. You're too kind."
Glancing at the menu, your eyes danced over the delectable options. From savory dishes to mouthwatering desserts, it was a tantalizing array of choices. You couldn't resist the temptation of your all-time favorite dish: savory pasta with creamy sauce and succulent grilled chicken.
"I think I'll go with the pasta," you declared, excitement bubbling in your voice.
Heeseung nodded, his own eyes scanning the menu. "Great choice! I'll have the same.”
While you excused yourself to use the bathroom, Heeseung's attention was drawn to the familiar chime of his phone. He retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the screen, his heart skipping a beat when he saw the email notification. Curiosity piqued, he opened the email, his eyes scanning the contents anxiously.
As he read the message, a mix of emotions washed over him. The update from one of his chosen schools had arrived, bringing a surge of anticipation and nervousness. He couldn't help but feel a knot forming in his stomach, wondering what awaited him in that email.
With bated breath, he absorbed the words on the screen, his eyes darting across the lines. Time seemed to stand still as he processed the information, his heart pounding in his chest. As the realization sank in, Heeseung's eyes widened with a mix of astonishment and elation. He had been accepted into his dream school, the very place he had yearned to be since he was young. It was an incredible achievement, the culmination of years of hard work and dedication.
However, alongside his joy, a tinge of bittersweetness crept into his heart. The realization hit him that the school he had been accepted to was located in a different country, far away from where you would be pursuing your studies. The paths that once seemed intertwined were now diverging, leading in separate directions.
Heeseung couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and a pang of sadness at the prospect of being physically apart from you. The thought of not sharing the same campus, the same classes, and the same experiences together weighed heavily on his mind.
His mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions. On one hand, he was ecstatic about his acceptance and the opportunities that awaited him at his dream school. On the other hand, he grappled with the uncertainty of maintaining your close bond and the fear of growing distant due to the physical distance between you.
Is he just going to have to love you from a distance? Taking a deep breath, Heeseung reminded himself that change was a natural part of life. Sometimes, pursuing one's dreams meant making difficult choices and embracing new chapters, even if it meant temporary separation from loved ones. He knew deep down that both of you had your own unique paths to follow and that growth and new experiences awaited each of you.
As you returned to the table, his eyes met yours, and he mustered a smile, although a hint of sadness lingered behind it. He wanted to cherish every moment and every shared memory and support you in your own journey, even if it meant being physically apart.
As Heeseung observed your radiant smile, he couldn't bring himself to dampen your spirits on such a momentous day. It was your special day, and he wanted nothing more than to see you happy and free from worries. The thought of tears staining your cheeks again, especially after the pain you had endured over Beomgyu, tore at his heart.
He wrestled with his own emotions, torn between the desire to be by your side and the yearning to pursue his own dreams. It was a difficult decision to make, as his departure was never his intention. He had never wanted to leave you or add another departure to the list of loved ones who had left your side. Yet he knew deep down that he couldn't simply give up on his dream.
The opportunity that awaited him at his dream school was something he had longed for and worked tirelessly to achieve. It was a chance to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of himself. Heeseung understood that sacrificing his dream would only breed resentment and regret in the long run.
However, that didn't mean he would abandon you or sever the bond you shared. He made a silent promise to himself that, despite the physical distance, he would always be there for you, supporting you in every way possible.
Now, every time Heeseung catches a glimpse of you smiling, his heart will be torn into pieces. It was a painful reminder that he would soon no longer see you give him that smile. If Beomgyu wasn’t such a piece of trash, he would have something less to worry about.
NINE.
As Heeseung crossed off each day on his calendar with a red marker, a wave of sadness washed over him. It was a constant ache in his heart, a reminder of the remaining days he was going to be able to see you in person.
Whenever you visited and asked about his college acceptances, he would conceal his true feelings and claim that he was simply counting down the days until graduation. The lies weighed heavily on him, but he had become accustomed to masking his emotions from you.
You, on the other hand, were genuinely thrilled for him, believing that he would attend a school near yours. Even if you ended up at different schools, you were confident that your friendship would remain intact, envisioning moments where you could still crash at his place and keep in touch.
If only you knew the truth. If only you knew that a significant amount of time would pass before you would see each other again. It would be a separation so prolonged that the risk of forgetting each other lurked in the shadows. Heeseung couldn't fathom the thought of you slipping from his memory, but he wondered if the same held true for you.
Heeseung grappled with the daunting task of how and when to tell you about his upcoming departure. The weight of his secret pressed heavily upon him, and he knew he couldn't keep it hidden forever. But finding the right moment and method to reveal the truth was a challenge he wrestled with daily.
Should he plan a heart-to-heart conversation, choosing a quiet and intimate setting where he could lay bare his feelings? Or perhaps he should seize a spontaneous moment when emotions were running high and honesty seemed more accessible? Heeseung contemplated the various scenarios, each with its own set of risks and uncertainties.
He wanted to find the perfect balance between timing and your emotional state, ensuring that his revelation wouldn't overshadow any important events or milestones in your life. Heeseung wished for a moment when you could both be fully present, where he could express himself openly without the fear of disrupting the joy and happiness you deserve.
But as days turned into weeks, Heeseung's inner turmoil grew. The weight of his secret intensified, and the fear of losing you became more tangible. He knew that he couldn't delay the inevitable forever, yet the right words eluded him.
It was hard. Harder than he had expected.
But that was okay; he still had more time.
But clearly not enough.
TEN.
"I'm nervous," you chuckled, sitting under the familiar shade of the tree with Heeseung. It has become a regular spot for your daily hangouts, despite already spending so much time together every day.
Heeseung grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Why are you nervous? You've never been nervous around me before."
You shrugged, fidgeting with a blade of grass. "I guess it's just this weird mix of excitement and uncertainty. You know, once school ends, everyone is going to be going their own ways."
Heeseung leaned back against the tree trunk, observing you with a gentle gaze. “Yeah, that’s true. But you know, I've always got your back. Even if we get different professions.”
A faint smile crossed your lips as you appreciated his words of comfort. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. I knew you would stick around."
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you chuckled, feeling the breeze brush your hair away as you sat on the grass with Heeseung.
What did Heeseung do to deserve you? Heeseung couldn't help but smile at your words, a mix of gratitude and self-doubt swirling within him. He looked at you, the person who had been there for him through thick and thin, the one who had always believed in him and supported him unconditionally.
“I could say the same for you.” Heeseung smiled bitterly, knowing he would soon hurt you, probably more than Beomgyu did.
"Say YN, what if I suddenly left without a word?" Heeseung's voice was filled with a tinge of sadness as he contemplated the question. The weight of his thoughts hung in the air, causing a ripple of unease to pass through you.
"All of a sudden?" You turned to face him, looking into his eyes with genuine concern.
He hesitated, his gaze shifting to the ground. "Yeah. What if?"
"You wouldn't." You stared off into the sky, listening to the birds chirp, as silence enveloped you both.
His heart clenched, feeling the need to break into pieces. Of course he wouldn't, but he had to. He watched as the leaves on the tree above rustled and gently fell, their descent mirroring his swirling emotions. He let out a bitter smile, unable to hide the pain in his eyes.
"Yeah, I wouldn't," he replied, his voice filled with a mixture of resignation and longing.
Your heart skipped a beat, a sudden surge of concern and confusion washing over you. Why did his question and response affect you so deeply? You looked at him, studying his face as the wind tousled his hair, adding a touch of ethereal charm. Your eyes met, and you found yourself momentarily captivated, unable to tear your gaze away.
Heeseung let out a soft laugh, a familiar sound that never failed to warm your heart. You felt a faint blush creeping onto your cheeks, the realization of your own emotions catching you off guard. Could it be possible that you were starting to develop feelings for your best friend? The thought seemed both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions.
But no, you quickly dismissed the idea. It couldn't be. You and Heeseung were best friends and nothing more. The bond you shared was precious, and you were afraid to jeopardize it with romantic complications. It was just a passing moment, a fleeting thought that you would tuck away and bury deep within your heart.
"If you had to, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I could do anything," you continued, your voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "But promise me, Heeseung, promise me that you'll tell me, even if it's just a hypothetical scenario."
Heeseung's heart ached at your words, feeling the weight of your trust and acceptance. How could he break it to you? How could he shatter the harmony of your friendship with the painful truth? He wrestled with his own emotions—a battle between love and self-sacrifice.
"Yeah, of course," he replied, his voice carrying a mixture of longing and sadness. He let out a small sigh, a silent release of the turmoil swirling within him. Heeseung's frustration gnawed at him as he reflected on his missed opportunity to tell you about his impending departure. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had let another chance slip away, leaving him questioning his own hesitation.
"Why is it so hard to tell her?" Heeseung muttered to himself, his voice filled with a mix of disappointment and self-doubt. He knew he had valid reasons for his silence, but the weight of his unspoken truth weighed heavily on his conscience.
As he replayed the scenarios in his mind, he realized that fear had played a significant role in his inability to open up to you. Fear of your reaction, fear of hurting you, and fear of losing the precious bond you shared. It was easier to keep his feelings hidden to spare both of you the pain of saying goodbye.
But now, in the wake of yet another missed opportunity, Heeseung couldn't deny the growing frustration that bubbled within him. He understood that time was slipping away, and with each passing day, the impending separation became more inevitable. The longer he remained silent, the harder it would be to find the right moment to reveal his truth.
He had to let you know.
ELEVEN.
“So you’re telling me that after breaking up with your ex, you started having feelings for your best friend?” Yoon exclaimed over the phone.
You broke up with Beomgyu a week ago, knowing things didn’t work out the way they used to. Since then, you both kept your distance, only seeing each other when you both went to see Heeseung. It was a pain in the ass to see him everywhere, pretending nothing had happened between you two.
“Ugh, don’t say it like that.” You winced, collapsing onto your bed. “As bad as it sounds, yes, I think I did. Ever since that party at Mark’s house.”
“No wonder why Mark’s parties are known to start love,” Yoon said bluntly, not judging you in the slightest. “People have always said that.”
"Please, just stop," you groaned, fully aware of the precarious position you found yourself in. It was undoubtedly a complicated situation.
Despite the awkwardness and confusion, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry and connection you shared with Heeseung. It felt like the lines between friendship and something more had blurred, and you were left grappling with newfound emotions and conflicting thoughts.
Yoon's voice softened, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I know it's messy, but sometimes love works in mysterious ways. You can't control who you develop feelings for. Just be honest with yourself and with Heeseung. It may lead to something beautiful."
You sighed, grateful for Yoon's support and advice. “Thanks Yoon, but I don’t want it to be seen like I only said I liked him because I just want to get over him.”
“What if he likes you, though?” Yoon was clearly invested in your love life.
“No way—him liking me? Impossible.” You denied. There was no way he liked you for all these years.
“I have seen the heart eyes he gives you. If you weren’t so smitten with your boyfriend, maybe you would’ve seen that.” Yoon chuckled, amused at how obvious you could be.
"I mean, if he likes you and you like him, shouldn't that be easy?" Yoon remarked, her voice laced with a touch of exasperation.
You let out a playful eye roll in response, fully aware of the complexities surrounding your situation. "Come on, Yoon, my ex was our best friend. It's not that simple."
Yoon pondered for a moment before offering her perspective. "Well, maybe you should just tell him. That way, if you ever do start showing interest, he won't feel like he's intruding or being a homewrecker."
A wave of disbelief washed over you. "Yoon, I'm not planning to hit on him! Besides, I'm pretty sure Heeseung already knows about the breakup. We've been avoiding each other lately."
Yoon raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "And how sure are you about that?"
You paused, contemplating her question. "I'd say about 80 percent sure."
Yoon shook her head with a mischievous smile. "Not good enough, my friend. You need to be 100 percent certain."
An exasperated sigh escaped your lips as you playfully scolded her. "Oh, come on, Yoon. Can't you just trust me on this?"
Yoon grinned, refusing to back down. "Trust you? I trust you with a lot of things, but matters of the heart? Not so much."
You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating Yoon's concern and her unwavering honesty. "Well, thanks for your vote of confidence, Yoon. But for now, let's just focus on our friendship drama, okay?"
Yoon nodded, a glint of mischief still evident in her eyes. "Fine, fine. But mark my words, you better figure out the Heeseung situation soon. Otherwise, I might just have to take matters into my own hands."
You playfully scolded Yoon over the phone, both of you laughing. Deep down, you knew Yoon had a point. The tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires between you and Heeseung couldn't be ignored forever. Just not right now.
It just might take a while for you to actually confess.
TWELVE.
Walking home together, you soon arrived at Heeseung's house. "Alright then, bye Hee! I can't stay over today; sorry about that."
Heeseung chuckled, finding your reaction amusing. "Don't worry about it. There's always a next time, right?"
Always a next time.
"Yeah, always," you replied with a smile, turning around to walk back home. As you made your way, your heart pounded in your chest, its rhythm matching the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your mind.
It was the seventh month of school, and the days seemed to be slipping away faster than either of you could have imagined. You were anxious about starting high school and stepping into a new chapter of your life, while Heeseung was burdened by the weight of when and how he should reveal his upcoming leave.
Heeseung fumbled with his keys, hastily unlocking the door to his house. As he stepped inside, he spotted Sunghoon lounging on the couch, munching on a bag of chips while engrossed in a TV show. “Hey, the least you could do is give me a heads-up when you crash at my place,” Heeseung quipped, his tone half-joking.
Sunghoon shrugged, his mouth full of chips. “Well, you always let YN pop up here almost every day. It seems like plain favoritism to me.”
Rolling his eyes, Heeseung tossed his bag next to the couch and made his way to the sink to wash his hands. “Just drop it, will you?”
Sunghoon continued munching, unfazed. “She’s not here today? I thought she was going to help you pack up. She always helps you out with that kind of stuff.”
Heeseung sighed, running the water over his hands. “No, she’s busy today. And well, I was packing, but I still have about two months left.”
Sunghoon chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yeah, wait until graduation sneaks up on you and leaves you scrambling to get everything done in time. It’ll be quite the sight to see.”
Heeseung shot his friend a playful glare, water droplets falling from his hands onto the sink. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sunghoon. Really uplifting."
Sunghoon laughed, reaching for another handful of chips. "Hey, it's all part of the experience, my friend. But don't worry; I'm sure you'll manage. Be glad we are both going to the same college.”
Heeseung couldn't help but crack a smile, the banter with Sunghoon easing his worries, if only for a moment. "Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Heeseung settled down next to Sunghoon, helping himself to a handful of chips. "You know, I'm still worried," he admitted, his voice tinged with concern.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Why? What's bothering you now?"
Heeseung sighed, his gaze fixed on the television screen. "I still haven't told YN."
Sunghoon's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You still haven't told her? Why not?"
Heeseung leaned back on the couch, feeling a weight on his shoulders. "I don't know; it just slipped my mind, I guess. I've been so caught up in my own thoughts and worries that I haven't found the right moment to bring it up. It's becoming a problem."
Sunghoon paused for a moment, contemplating his response. "Look, Heeseung, I understand that you want to focus on yourself and your relationship with YN, but keeping something like this from her is not fair to either of you. She deserves to know what's going on, especially if it's something that might impact your future together."
Heeseung nodded, realizing the truth in Sunghoon's words. "You're right. I need to find the right time and place to have that conversation with her. It's just... I'm afraid of how she'll react."
Sunghoon placed a comforting hand on Heeseung's shoulder. "I get it, Hee. It's not easy to have these kinds of conversations, but you owe it to both yourself and YN to be honest and open. Trust in your friendship and the bond you share. She'll understand."
"I'm afraid to tell her in person, though.” Heeseung contemplated Sunghoon's advice, weighing the options in his mind. "You think writing a letter would be better?" he asked, seeking confirmation.
Sunghoon nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes, putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can help you express yourself more clearly. It also gives the other person time to process the information without feeling put on the spot. If you feel more comfortable expressing yourself through a letter, then go for it. The most important thing is that you find a way to communicate with YN honestly and openly."
Heeseung sighed, relieved to have Sunghoon's support. "I think you're right. Writing a letter will give me the chance to carefully choose my words and convey everything I want to say. It will also give YN the space to absorb the information and react in her own time."
Sunghoon smiled, his eyes filled with understanding. "I'm here for you, Heeseung. If you ever need someone to talk to or help you through this, I'm just a phone call away."
Heeseung nodded gratefully, appreciating his friend's support. With a renewed sense of purpose, he knew it was time to gather his thoughts and pour his heart out onto paper, hoping that the letter would convey the depth of his emotions and the difficult decision he had to make.
He just hoped he had the time to write about everything he felt.
THIRTEEN.
The two months had swiftly passed, catching Heeseung by surprise. He found himself now adjusting his cap anxiously, eagerly awaiting your arrival. Graduation day had finally arrived, a day he had looked forward to with a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing that it would mark the beginning of a painful farewell.
Heeseung stood among his classmates, excitement and nervousness buzzing in the air. The graduation ceremony was about to begin, and he couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions coursing through him. The cap on his head felt oddly heavy, as if carrying the weight of the impending farewell.
As he glanced around, his eyes searched for you in the crowd. He knew you would be there, a constant presence throughout his high school journey. But today, it held a bittersweet significance. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in both of your lives, one that would take you on separate paths.
The minutes ticked by, and anticipation grew with each passing second. Heeseung's mind wandered, replaying the memories of your time together. The laughter, the tears, the shared secrets, and the unspoken bond between you. He couldn't help but wonder how things would change after today.
Suddenly, he spotted you in the distance, making your way through the crowd. His heart skipped a beat as you drew closer, your smile lighting up the room. Heeseung's gaze never wavered from you, his emotions swirling within him.
As you approached Heeseung, you noticed the slight tension in his expression. You reached out and gently squeezed his hand, offering him a reassuring smile.
"Hey, Hee, are you ready for this?" You asked, trying to break the tension.
Heeseung looked at you, his gaze filled with a mix of emotions. "Yeah, I am. It's just... bittersweet, you know? Graduation marks the end of an era for us."
You nodded understandingly. "I know what you mean. It's hard to believe that after today, things will change. But hey, we've always managed to stick together through everything. I’m sure we will be able to do that again when we are in college.”
Heeseung's hand held onto yours, his grip growing tighter. He felt a lump form in his throat, and the urge to let his emotions spill over threatened to overcome him. He desperately wished he could make you a promise, but the weight of an impending goodbye weighed heavily on his heart. He turned away, blinking rapidly, hoping to conceal the tears welling up in his eyes.
But you saw right through his facade, your intuition picking up on the hidden emotions he tried to hide. Your heart ached at the sight of his struggle, realizing the depth of his fear and the significance of your connection. The thought of losing someone as dear to you as Heeseung was unfathomable. The bond you shared was precious and irreplaceable. Who would ever wish for that?
Before you could offer your comfort to Heeseung, the commencement speaker took the stage, commanding the attention of the hushed crowd. Your hand remained firmly in his, a simple gesture of support that spoke volumes. Both of you turned your focus towards the front, listening intently to the words being spoken.
The speaker's voice filled the air, carrying a sense of inspiration and reflection. They spoke about the accomplishments of the graduating class, the challenges faced, and the bright futures that lay ahead. It was a moment of celebration and reflection, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
As the speech continued, you stole a glance at Heeseung, taking in the mixture of emotions on his face. There was pride, tinged with sadness, as if he were already experiencing the weight of parting ways. You squeezed his hand gently, a silent reassurance that you were there beside him.
The speaker's words began to blur into the background as your mind wandered, reflecting on the journey you and Heeseung had taken together. From the countless memories shared to the unspoken understanding between you, your friendship has grown into something truly special.
As you sat there, surrounded by the buzz of graduation, your mind began to wander back to the memories you shared with Heeseung. The moments in class, the times you hung out, the events you attended together—they all flooded back, painting a vivid picture of your time together.
Each memory was intertwined with Heeseung's presence; his infectious smile and laughter were etched into every scene. The way his eyes crinkled into crescents when he laughed—that heavenly sound that never failed to bring warmth to your heart. It was in those moments that you realized something had shifted within you.
Fuck, you fell in deep. A surge of realization washed over you as you came to terms with your feelings. Maybe it wasn't just a passing fondness or friendship. Maybe, deep down, you have always liked Heeseung more than you realize. Perhaps it was hidden beneath the surface, waiting for the right time to reveal itself.
The thought of liking him, not just a little but a lot, was both exhilarating and terrifying. You couldn't deny the flutter of your heart whenever he was near, the way your smile widened when he was happy, or the pang of longing when you were apart. It all makes sense now.
How had you missed it before? Perhaps you had been too caught up in the comfort of your friendship, too afraid to acknowledge the possibility of something more. But now, as the truth unfolded before you, you couldn't ignore the depth of your feelings any longer.
As the ceremony continued, the realization settled within you, filling you with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Graduation marked not only the end of high school but also the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship with Heeseung. The question remained: would you have the courage to explore these newfound feelings and share them with him?
The answer was uncertain, but one thing was clear: the bond you shared with Heeseung was special, and it was worth exploring the possibility of something more. Graduation had become more than just a farewell; it had become a turning point, a chance to embrace the unknown and discover the depth of your connection with Heeseung.
With renewed determination and a sense of anticipation, you turned your attention back to the ceremony. As the crowd erupted into applause and the ceremony reached its climax, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Heeseung. His eyes met yours, and in that moment, you knew that whatever the future held, your feelings would guide you towards a path of truth and authenticity.
As the crowd erupted in cheers and applause, you joined your fellow graduates in turning your tassels, symbolizing the culmination of your high school journey. The air was filled with excitement and joy, and in that moment, everything seemed perfect.
But amidst the celebratory chaos, Heeseung's laughter pierced through the noise, drawing your attention. You turned, and there it was—the smile you adored, the one that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. His eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion well up within you.
There was a tenderness in his gaze and a depth of affection that spoke volumes. It wasn't just your imagination playing tricks on you; he was looking at you with love in his eyes. The realization hit you like a wave, and a mixture of disbelief, hope, and overwhelming emotion washed over you.
Heeseung's tear-filled eyes mirrored your own, as if both of you were sharing an unspoken understanding. Heeseung's tears took you by surprise, and your heart ached at the sight of his distress. Concerned and wanting to offer solace, you closed the distance between you, gently placing a hand on his trembling shoulder.
"Don't cry, Hee," you whispered softly, your voice filled with genuine care. "Please, tell me why you're crying. What's wrong?"
Heeseung took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he looked into your eyes. His voice quivered as he spoke: “It’s nothing, just us leaving high school.”
“Are you sure?” you asked worriedly, thinking there was more to it.
“I’m sure,” Heeseung whispered, his eyes slightly reddened. He reached out to retrieve something from his seat, clutching an envelope in his trembling hand.
"Promise me you'll wait a week before opening this, okay?" he pleaded.
"A whole week?" you questioned, a hint of impatience in your voice.
"I understand it feels like an eternity, but please trust me," he implored, his voice laced with sincerity.
Heeseung's request piqued your curiosity, and you nodded, agreeing to his peculiar condition. You took the envelope from his hand, holding it delicately between your fingers.
"I promise," you replied softly, your voice filled with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "I'll wait a week before opening it."
Heeseung offered you a faint smile, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you, YN. It means a lot to me."
Heeseung extended his arms, inviting you into a warm embrace that felt both comforting and bittersweet. He held you tightly, as if trying to etch the memory of this embrace deep into his being. You reciprocated, wrapping your arms around his waist and matching the rhythm of his heartbeat with your own. In that moment, your connection felt unbreakable, and the world around you faded away.
You two finally graduated from high school and are off to start your new journeys in life.
FOURTEEN.
As each day passed, the presence of the unopened letter weighed heavily on your mind. Despite being occupied with new hobbies and family time, curiosity about its contents lingered in the back of your mind. Heeseung's absence during this time only fueled your anticipation, as you wondered what could be so important that he asked you to wait for a week before opening it. With each passing day, the envelope seemed to stare at you, silently urging you to unravel its mysteries.
After an entire week of anticipation, the time had come to open the letter. Excitement surged through your veins as you hurriedly made your way to your room, a sense of eagerness driving you forward. You located the envelope you had carefully stowed away in your drawer and settled yourself into a seat.
With a mix of excitement and nervousness, you took a deep breath and gently tore open the envelope, savoring the moment of anticipation. The sound of the paper crinkling echoed in the room, and you carefully extracted the contents from within. Your hands trembled slightly as you unfolded the letter, your eyes scanning the words written on the page.
Hi YN ^^ !
This is Heeseung after a week! I hope you waited patiently, just as you always do. I know you keep your promises, so I had faith in you. If you did wait, as I believe you did, thank you so much. Now, let me get straight to the point, as I know you prefer it that way.
First and foremost, I want to apologize. Writing this letter is challenging, but expressing my feelings this way feels easier than doing it in person. You hold a special place in my heart, and I felt it was crucial to share this with you. I trust you would have appreciated that. So…
YN, I like you. More than just a little, it could even be considered love. I have loved you from the very beginning. However, Beomgyu was fortunate enough to be the one by your side, taking away any chance I had. It hurt, but seeing your happiness with him eased some of the pain. Please don't blame yourself, as you had no way of knowing.
All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if it meant I would remain in the background. So what if I was just your best friend? It didn't matter, as long as I could see you smile. When he hurt you, it made it even more difficult for me to confess my feelings.
I had intended to tell you earlier, ever since Mark's party. Did you notice the hints of 'I love you'? Because I do, I really do. It was my attempt to confess—it didn’t work out as you didn’t pick up on it.
If feelings weren't already complicated enough, my college situation adds to the frustration. I have been accepted to a different school than yours. I'm sure you're aware of that, but there are some things you don't know. I got into one of my dream schools, but it's located out of state. This means I won't be able to see you ever again. Not for now, at least.
I'm sorry for dropping this news on you suddenly and for not telling you sooner. I didn't know how to, and I despise seeing you sad. Losing Beomgyu made it even harder for me to bring it up. So I kept it to myself, which eventually backfired.
I find it frustrating that I have to express myself through this letter rather than in person. I know I may come to regret this decision, but it's too late to turn back now.
By the time you read this, I will already be at the airport, ready to depart. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of me, although I doubt it. I anticipate being too busy to stay in touch through texts or calls, which only adds to the complexity of my situation. So, I must bid you farewell with these words. Goodbye, YN.
Please remember to keep yourself happy and never let that radiant smile disappear. It pains me to see you without it. And always remember: I will never forget you. That is a promise I will keep. Please don't forget me either, okay?
YN, I'm sorry that we couldn't fulfill our promises. I hope that our paths will cross again in a few years. If you decide to stay here, I will do my best to return to you.
Thank you for everything. Know that I love you, my YN.
— Heeseung, your loser.
As you read the final part of the letter, panic welled up inside you, and your eyes began to well up with tears. He was leaving you? Now?
You couldn't believe that he had shouldered all of this alone for so long. The thought of him suffering in silence while seeing you with your ex filled you with regret.
You berated yourself for not realizing his feelings sooner, but there was no time for self-blame now. Without wasting another second, you rushed downstairs, determined to reach the airport as quickly as possible.
You had to reach him before it was too late.
You had to say goodbye properly, at least.
FIFTEEN.
With a racing heart and a sense of urgency, you dashed out of your house and into the bustling streets. The minutes felt like hours as you navigated through the crowded sidewalks, desperately trying to reach the airport. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of finding Heeseung before it was too late.
The airport loomed in the distance, and you pushed yourself to run faster, your breath becoming ragged. Sweating and panting, you hurried through the entrance, scanning the bustling terminal for any sign of Heeseung. The sea of unfamiliar faces only heightened your anxiety.
Frantically, you approached airport personnel, trying to inquire about departing flights and destinations. Time seemed to slip away, with each passing second intensifying your fear of missing him. You searched for any information that could lead you to Heeseung's departure gate, hoping to catch a glimpse of him before it was too late.
Finally, a helpful staff member directed you to the correct gate. With renewed determination, you weaved through the crowd, your eyes scanning every face, hoping to spot him among the travelers. The sound of boarding announcements echoed through the air, adding to the urgency of your mission.
As you reached the gate, your heart sank as you realized the boarding process was already underway. You desperately looked around, searching for a familiar figure and praying that you hadn't missed him. Time seemed to slow down, and your breath caught in your throat.
And then, just as you were about to lose hope, you spotted him. Heeseung stood near the gate, his gaze fixed on the departure screen. Relief washed over you, and you called out his name, your voice filled with a mix of emotions.
"Heeseung!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with both relief and urgency.
He turned, a mix of surprise and joy flickering across his face as he saw you. "YN? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and hope.
You rushed forward, breathless and overwhelmed. "I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye," you said, your voice filled with determination. "I had to find you."
A flicker of emotion danced in Heeseung's eyes as he took a step closer. "But I thought... I thought you read my letter."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head. "I did, but I couldn't just let you go without trying. I can't bear the thought of losing you."
Heeseung's expression softened, and he looked at you, tearing up. “I’m sorry, YN,” he whispered, feeling himself getting closer to you. “I never wanted to leave, but I had to. You’ll find someone better.”
"There's no one else who compares to you. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, but Heeseung, I like you too, a lot."
"But aren't you still with Beomgyu?"
"No, we actually broke up a while ago. It's just you and me now, Hee. I've had some time to reflect, and I've come to realize that my feelings for you have always been there. I truly mean it. Do you still feel the same way?"
Heeseung felt a surge of relief hearing your response. Part of him wanted to say yes immediately, but another part held him back. He didn't want to rush into anything and risk hurting you. He needed time for himself.
Your words hung in the air, and he looked into your eyes with a mix of emotions. "YN, I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took to tell me how you feel. I do care deeply about you, and that hasn't changed. But with everything going on right now—my college plans, the uncertainty of the future—I want to take some time for myself before committing to a relationship."
Confusion and disappointment clouded your expression. "So, you're saying you don't want to be with me?" You asked, your voice quivering with a tinge of sadness and hurt.
Heeseung reached out, gently cupping your face with his hand. "No, that's not what I'm saying, YN. Please understand that it's not about not wanting to be with you. I do love you very much, but I’m scared the long distance wouldn’t work out for us. I want both of us to be ready for this.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed his words. "I understand, Heeseung. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. But please know that my feelings for you are genuine, and I hope that in the future, when the time is right, we can be together."
Heeseung tightened his grip on your hand, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for your understanding, YN. You mean the world to me.”
Heeseung's voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his eyes fixated on the sign of his imminent departure. "Could we share one last hug before I go?" His words were laced with a bittersweet longing, and you could hear the hint of pain in his voice.
The weight of his impending absence settled heavily upon you, and your heart ached with a mix of emotions. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, and your own voice choked with emotion. "Yes, Hee... one last hug."
Closing the physical gap between you, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Heeseung. The embrace was a mixture of comfort and farewell, as if trying to capture the essence of your bond in a single moment.
As you held each other, the weight of impending separation hung in the air. You could feel Heeseung's arms tightening around you, as if he wanted to etch this embrace into his memory. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that poignant embrace.
His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered, "Thank you for being here with me, even until the very end."
Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, as you held onto him just a little tighter. The realization that he would soon be gone made each second feel precious and fleeting.
You found solace in the warmth of the hug and the silent understanding that flowed between you. It was a silent exchange of love, support, and the acknowledgment that distance could never diminish what you shared.
Reluctantly, you released each other, gazing into each other's eyes. The unspoken words and emotions lingered in the air, a testament to the depth of your connection.
As you watched him walk away, the weight of his departure settled on you. But amidst the ache, there was a glimmer of optimism, a belief that this temporary farewell was just a chapter in your story together.
As Heeseung walked away, his mind filled with a whirlwind of emotions, and he felt the need to distract himself from the ache in his heart. Seeking solace in the familiarity of his phone, he decided to clear his inbox before boarding the plane. As he scrolled through his unread emails, one message caught his eye, causing his heart to skip a beat.
His eyes widened in shock as he opened the email, revealing an acceptance letter from your dream school—the very same college that had been his second choice. A mixture of disbelief, astonishment, and a tinge of bitterness washed over him as he read the words on the screen.
Once again, he had a chance he would have taken but missed.
He was too late.
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💭 — hey you’ve reached the end 😊
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554 notes · View notes
snowsonlylove · 2 months
Note
hii!! i commented about making a fic of coryo w or about the song haunted by beyonce, i was thinking maybe something smut if ur comfortable! if not its okay but the fic could be academy!coriolanus x academy!reader and theyre school rivals both working hard to beat each other and theyre obsessed with each other but they hide it with the fact they wanna win but they j wanna fuck (or get together) maybe theyre both possessive and jealous or coryo is the one thats really extra with it,, the story could go rlly slow too and then theres just a part where the facade and tension goes away and theyre needing each other so badly at that moment rushing everything, just like how the song goes idk if i made any sense :o im so excited to see the result!! this song just gives me coriolanus vibes
You Must Be Haunting Me..
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a/n note: hii!! yes, i loved your idea and i mostly stayed with your vision, only changing some minor things so the situation makes sense and dw i managed to deliver 🫡 hopefully you like it!! tysm for your idea and i look forward to seeing if there are some things you want to expand on (maybe with little blurbs on this dynamic bc i absolutely LOVE this trope!) & i'm totally comfortable with smut so dw about sending me kinky asks or requests. i totally accept them!!
Pairing: Academy!Coriolanus Snow x AcademyRival!Reader
Summary: Y/N Y/L/N and Coriolanus Snow have been academic rivals ever since the beginning of their journey in the Academy. It’s no secret that both Y/N and Coriolanus are the two top students of the Academy, both of them only being able to beat each other, the rest are just no competition for them. However, they genuinely have no idea why they're doing this constant battle against each other. Little did they know, both of them always think about each other behind closed doors and are obsessed with each other, each equally impressed at the other at how intelligent they are. One day, things just boil over with how Coriolanus constantly riles Y/N up and they explode in a huge fight which results in a turmoil of deep, rough and passionate sex. 
Fic Type: Smut (NSFW) 18+, Enemies to Lovers trope, dramatic behaviour from both of them, a wee bit of angst (mostly derived from the name-calling but in my head this is more funny than it is angsty 😭😭😭)
Warnings: unprotected sex (don’t do this guys, use a condom. reader is on birth control), rough pushing, harsh words used from both Y/N and Coriolanus, degradation (use of whore), cunnilingus (female receiving), squirting, lmk if i missed anything else
Word Count: 2k
I do not own Coriolanus Snow or Y/N Y/L/N (cuz it’s you, boo). All credits go to Suzanne Collins and her team. Song credits also go to Beyonce and her team. 
I do not allow my works to be republished or translated under any circumstances. Any instances of this happening and YOU WILL BE BLOCKEDDD. 
Also, ageless and empty blogs will be BLOCKED as this is a 18+ fic. Report my fics and you’re blocked cuz if u don’t like it, LEAVEEEE.
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Y/N Y/L/N and Coriolanus Snow began this disastrous journey from the age of 11-12. Both students entered the Academy with an air of poise and elitism about them as they knew what it took to defeat the competition in the Academy, most students not even being a possible candidate to them. It was all fine and well, until one year, Y/N and Coriolanus were put in the same class for the year, and the rivalry then started..
The first assignment of that year was an individual project on what each student thought the Capitol looked like during its earliest times. Each student was tasked with coming up with a drawing with their thoughts on said topic. This was their chance to go up against each other. Both Y/N and Coriolanus would stay up in the library after school and collect piles of books and do their research and by the time the task was due, Y/N and Coriolanus obviously submitted the best sketches.
After acknowledging this, the professor asked the class to vote for who’s sketch was the best. Small pieces of paper were given out to write either Y/N’s and Coriolanus’s names and as the professor then collected the papers, making both students anxious. As the professor counted the votes, Y/N’s heart was beating out of her chest, Coriolanus’s as well. It was then announced that Y/N won, which made Coriolanus furious as he spewed a full speech on how much he hated her. “You’d never be as good as what they say you are. You’re just dirt under my feet. God! You’re such a bitch!” He screamed as the professor and the class started at him in astonishment as they’ve never seen him lash out before.
Y/N was heartbroken when she heard this as sometimes when Coriolanus wasn’t looking, Y/N would sneak glances towards him and she started to be enamoured by him. Their time together after hours in the library would usually end up in them having conversations about their day and this time together helped them bond better. With this in mind, Y/N truly thought Coriolanus was at least civil enough to be respectful towards her. Y/N felt tears well up in her eyes as she ran out of the classroom, the professor telling her to wait.
Coriolanus, still blind with rage, kept on screaming and yelling obscenities about Y/N as he stormed off to his seat, his face red and his whole demeanour fueling with rage. Unfortunately, this fateful day was what started the vicious rivalry between Y/N and Coriolanus as the two would fight over who got the better grades, which teacher favoured which student more, the differences in their scores in each assignment every single day.
As of current, both Y/N and Coriolanus are 18 and in the midst of graduating. One of their last assignments was unfortunately a pair assignment. Dr Gaul once scoped out the Academy and witnessed one of the fights between Y/N and Coriolanus and she noticed how by getting them near each other, she could make them into the power couple of Panem and have them continue the Hunger Games, which inspired her to whisper in the ear of Dean Highbottom to get them to be in the same class and for them to share a table together until they graduated. Both Y/N and Coriolanus were very unhappy about this, both choosing to ignore each other while they were in their seats. 
With both of them getting older, both Y/N and Coriolanus started noticing certain things about them. Coriolanus noticed how Y/N’s facial features were more prominent, how her ass got bigger, her breasts more plump, making him unable to control a certain urge at times which led him to mastrubate thinking about her sometimes. Y/N also noticed a few things about Coriolanus. How he started to grow muscles, how they cling to his academy uniform whenever he took off his academy jacket, how his jaw was sharper, how his nose was becoming more emphasised, how he lost his baby fat. She can honestly go forever and forever about how attractive he is.
That being said, there was one particular day where everything just blew over the water. Y/N and Coriolanus were taking notes during Dean Highbottom’s lecture when Y/N felt Coriolanus’s elbow dig into her arms whenever they got to writing. This obviously made Y/N frustrated as she harshly whispered to Coriolanus to stop a few times, which led to a hushed debate between the two before it grew louder and louder until they were screaming at each other, making the whole class look at them and Dean Highbottom staring at them in shock before yelling for them to stop and stay after class for detention.
Both Y/N and Coriolanus felt embarrassed as they were lectured by Dean Highbottom after class before an assistant of Dean Highbottom requested him to join Dr Gaul for a meeting about the Hunger Games. Dean Highbottom sighed as he looked at the two young teenagers, “Look.. I feel that you two are now old enough to know what is acceptable behaviour in class. I’ll be back soon, do not kill each other while I’m gone.” As Highbottom left the classroom, the tense atmosphere began to build as the door closed behind him.
Almost immediately after he left, Y/N and Coriolanus stared at each other with the most hateful expression ever. Y/N menacingly glared at him while saying with gritted teeth, “See, Coriolanus! If you’re long ass elbow didn’t fucking dig in my arm every single time, that old fart wouldn’t lecture us for one fucking hour! My god, you’re truly dumb!” Coriolanus glared at her before stating, “It’s not my fucking fault that happened with you were taking over the whole goddamn table with your arms everywhere! Geez, Y/N! I thought you’d be more modest!”
Y/N looked at him, shocked, “ME?!! You’re blaming ME for something YOU did! That is so fucking misogynistic coming from you, a man! I swear to god, this is discrimination towards women at its core! Grow the fuck up, Coriolanus! We’re not children anymore! God! I’d be spending my time with Sejanus right now if it weren’t for your stubborn ass!” Y/N huffed while rolling her eyes. Coriolanus stared at her, his face full of jealousy before gritting out, “Sejanus? What the fuck are you doing with Sejanus?! You’re such a fucking whore! Ugh, you’re such a bitch!” Y/N looked at him, offended, “Bitch, weren’t you just fucking Clemensia a few weeks ago? Yeah, I heard about that! Everyone was practically talking about it! Don’t pretend to be so innocent, Coriolanus!”
Coriolanus looked at her, his expression turned dark as he stalked towards her, her taking a step back until her back had hit the wall. Coriolanus leaned towards her, lifting one of his arms to go above her, bringing the other hand towards her chin and lifting it. At this point, the height difference became very apparent as her head was tipped far back, her still glaring at him. “Are you baiting me, Y/N? You talk so much for someone who just fucked Felix Ravinstill of all people a few days ago..” Y/N continued to glare up at him, “At least I had the decency to keep it in my pants longer than you! God, I hate you!” Coriolanus looked taken aback as he muttered while leaning in to cup her cheeks, her face wiggling to be let out of his grip, “Well, I hate you too, sweetheart…” 
Coriolanus leaned in as he captured Y/N’s lips with his, their mouths fighting for dominance as they kissed each other as if they needed each other to breathe. The previous tension broke into a more sensual type of tension as Coriolanus wrapped his hands around her hair ravenously while Y/N’s hand made friends with the back of his neck. One of Coriolanus’s hands found its way to Y/N’s waist as he dragged her away from the wall, pushing her towards a nearby desk before propping her up on the desk and spreading her legs, allowing him to be closer to her, not once breaking their kiss. Y/N broke their kiss as she moved her lips to Coriolanus’s neck and trailed them down his Adam’s apple while taking off his blazer and unbuttoning his shirt, Coriolanus doing the same to her.
As they undressed each other, they continued to slide their tongues against each other, the sound echoing around the classroom. They managed to undress each other down to them both only wearing underwear before Coriolanus kneeled down so that he was face to face with the apex of her thighs. Coriolanus leaned in and captured his teeth to her underwear as he slowly pulled it down, revealing her aching, dripping pussy. Coriolanus licked his lips as he roughly shoved two fingers in her cavern as he curled his fingers in and out her folds, creating a beautiful sensation as he found her G-spot with no difficulty.
Y/N moaned as she threw her head back and slid her hands down to Coriolanus’s hair and tugged on it while pulling him closer to her heat. “Oh my gosh.. Coryo, it feels so good…” As he kept pumping his fingers in and out of her, he suddenly attached his lips onto her clit as he sucked on her clit and pumped his fingers harder, each movement feeling more and more intense for Y/N. He kept on going as he curled his fingers one final time, which made Y/N yell out as she squirted and covered his fingers with her wetness.
Y/N sighed in satisfaction as she helped Coriolanus up and gave him a deep, passionate kiss while tugging down his underwear and hooking her legs on the bottom of his back, Coriolanus leaned in closer as he aligned his erection with her heat, tapping his dick on her clit a few times before pushing his hardness in her heat. He only pushed in half of it when Y/N suddenly exclaimed, “Coryo, it’s too much! I can’t take all of it!” 
Coriolanus leaned down so his forehead was laying against hers before whispering in a comforting tone, “It will fit, Y/N. Trust me, trust me..” He closed his eyes as he leaned in to capture her lips with his as he pushed in slower this time, now being able to fill her pussy with his cock to the point where their hips were against each other. Coriolanus groaned as he slowly pulled out before thrusting in again, “Fuck, Y/N… You’re so good. Such a good girl..” 
Y/N moaned at hearing him praise her as he started to thrust his dick in faster, each time harder and rougher than the last. The room started to echo with the sound of her moaning, his groaning and the sound of skin slapping. Y/N closed her eyes as she moaned, her mouth forming an “O” shape as she threw her head back once more and arched her back, needing to feel closer to him. Coriolanus wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her in closer and kissed his way all around her neck, leaving furious red hickeys which would soon turn purple.
The pace in which he was fucking her got rougher each time he would thrust his aching hard dick into her dripping pussy, the slapping sound really turning them on and his balls slapped to her ass, their moans becoming louder and louder each time. The furious force in which he was fucking her started to reach a boiling point as Coriolanus moaned, “Ugh.. I’m fucking cumming, Y/N. Oh.. You’re such a good girl. Such a tight and wet pussy..” 
“Ohh.. Coriolanus… So good, so deep… I’m gonna come, gonna come.. OH MY GODD!!” Y/N screamed as she came. Coriolanus groaned as he came inside her, sighing as he tried to bask in the afterglow of his orgasm, holding Y/N tight against his chest in the process. Y/N left kisses and hickeys around his neck as she looked up at him with a dazed but satisfied expression and kissed his lips however, this time the kiss shared between them wasn’t one full of hate, it was one full of love.
As they pulled away from each other and started to get dressed, Coriolanus faced Y/N and said, “You know, if you wanted to fuck me, you could’ve said so.” He said with a smirk. Y/N turned to look at him, acting shocked as she huffed in feign frustration, “Oh shut up, Coriolanus!” She smacked his chest as both of them gave each other a silly grin before hurling in laughter.
155 notes · View notes
spookysteddie · 3 months
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Tillmans Girl
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18+ Minors DNI
cw: stripper reader, drinking, drug mention, murder mention, oral (m receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, pet names, slight choking, hair pulling, exhibitionism, biting. (Let me know if I missed anything)
wc: 3.9k
A/n: this is based off of the song Gibson Girl by Ethel Cain (pre warned about this here) and I need to make it very clear that this is LOOSELY based off of the song. It’s more about how I feel while listening to it and how I fit the reader and Gator into this. I also let Gator have some friends because he needs them for the story purpose. I love the concept I came up with and I hope you do too! 
A/N 2: friendly reminder this is fiction and half the shit in here wouldn't happen IRL. ❤️
… 
He was here again. 
Sitting in his usual spot, surrounded by his friends and drinking shit beer. And he’s watching you, like he always does. Like he has since he first came in here a little over a year ago, dressed in his sheriff's uniform to investigate a murder. 
And now, he’s here every Saturday, just watching. He isn’t the first guy to come to this club for you. He isn’t even the tenth. But he doesn’t speak to you like the others do, not more than he needs to and typically you’re the one to instigate the conversation. 
Gator Tillman has a pull to him, like he’s the sun and you're a planet in his orbit. You don’t know why he makes you feel the way he does, like you need to touch him. Every time you meet his eyes, he’s already looking back at you. It is unnerving but yet you look forward to Saturday nights. Look forward to the attention (and money) he gives you. 
Even an hour outside his home town everyone knows who he is, of course they do, half their parents voted for his father. Plus, you’ve all heard the stories about the Tillmans. You knew what you were dealing with when he came in. The other girls are afraid of him, though. They’re sure to make his and his friends drinks correctly and letting them all break a few rules, like touching the dancers. But not you. Gator Tillman didn’t scare you like he should, mainly intrigued you. It’s been a year of this cat and mouse game. You the cat, him the mouse, toying with him in the hopes he’ll ask for more time with you. 
His friends do get dances, most of them picking a new girl every week and tipping them well. But not Gator. The girls have tried to get him to buy dances from them, but he always brushes them off. All while staring at you. You’d never offered, again letting him come to you. But you also didn’t do private dances. You made most of your money on the stage, not really feeling like killing someone if they got handsy with you. 
Tonight though, was different. 
You could feel it in the air the second you saw him. The charge was there as usual, but when you handed him a drink after your stage time, he spoke to you. 
His voice was like silk as he spoke, pushing his dark sunglasses onto the back of his hat. It was night time so he kind of looked like a douchebag with them on. He didn’t care. He was a Tillman, just as cold blooded as his father, if not more. Obsessed with his power and the way people fell at his feet, gave him whatever he wanted. 
But not you. 
Never you. 
“You look very nice in red, sweetheart.” It takes you by surprise but you do well to not show it, a practiced mask. Never has he spoken to you for more than a drink order. 
You did, however, look nice in red. But it was rare you wore it because you didn’t need to give the men more reasons to want to touch you. You made plenty of money in any other color. Red, also was the color of the invisible blood that stains your fingers. The blood you can’t get off no matter how hard you try.
You put on your prettiest smile, “that’s very sweet of you.” 
A small smile tugs at his lips. He’s fucking beautiful and it’s painful to look at him, actually. 
“You do dances?” The question takes you by surprise because, like you said, he doesn’t get dances from the girls. He just drinks and tips very well. 
You cover it well, “only for you.” 
It’s not a lie. You would do dances just for him, any reason to get him closer. To get him alone. 
He nods, “how much?”
You smirk, “$350.” That was way more than the other girls charge. It’s North Dakota, it’s rare the men here can afford that. 
But he can. 
“Deal.” You watch as he pulls the money from his pocket, counting it out and handing it to you. 
You count it again just to be sure, slipping it in your top, “follow me, pretty boy.” 
He takes his drink and downs it before getting up and following you. He walks with confidence but you know better. He’s nervous, you can see it in the slight tremor of his hand. You decide you’ll let him break the rules, but not because he’s Roy Tillmans son. 
No, it’s because you have wondered for months what his hands feel like on your skin. You’ve also wondered what it would be like to get him in your bed; what he sounds like when he fucks. You know he’s more than experienced considering people like to talk. But you want to see it for yourself. You need to experience it for yourself. 
You take him to one of the private rooms, the red room considering he likes you in red. He sits down tentatively, running his hands down his jeans. He’s so hot when he’s nervous. It makes you smile as you shut and lock the door. 
The music is a little quieter in here, the small knob on the wall allowing you to turn it higher or lower. Some of the girls don’t like these rooms, scared they’ll get hurt by the men they bring in here. It’s understandable, most opting to give them in the room where extra security is.
But Gator would never hurt you. 
“Surprised you asked for this, pretty boy.” 
He takes a deep breath and leans back, “like I said, look nice in red.” 
You slowly walk over, standing between his spread legs, “too kind to me, Tillman.” 
He balls his fists as he tries to respect the law of not touching strippers. But Gator was the law, he could do whatever he wanted. His father would get him out of any shit he gets himself into. Either way, you’d let him touch you in any way he wants. 
You bend at the waist, running your hands up his thighs. His breath hitches a little and it makes your stomach flip with satisfaction. He’s affected by you, you’ve known this for a while. But the verbal confirmation makes your head spin. 
Your hands slide over his stomach and onto his shoulders, pushing off his black leather jacket. “Let’s take this off and get comfortable, yeah?” He lets you take it off and toss it to the side. His black shirt grips his body perfectly, showing off his muscular build. 
You stand back up to your full height, turning the music up just slightly, enough for you to hear him if he decides to speak to you. And then you go back to him, dipping low and letting him run his eyes all over you. For once it makes you feel sexy. Maybe it’s because Gator isn’t an animal. He’s respectful. Or, well, as respectful as one can be in a place like this. 
You look up at him through long lashes as you straddle his hips, being careful not to let your centers touch. You don’t want to force anything on him, scare him away. But you do run your hands up his arms, putting his hands on your hips. 
“Can touch me. You’re the exception to that rule,” you giggle and wink at him. 
You can see his confidence starting to rise. Typical man who just wants to feel special. Gator, though, deserves to feel special. You didn’t grow up with him, between living one town over and your parents opting to send you to private school. But people talk. You know about the shit his dad does, how he uses religion and intimidation to keep his son in line. It was sick. 
He grips your hips, guiding you down to grind against him. He’s hard, of course he’s hard, all of them are. They can try all they want but their cocks have a mind of their own. You can tell he’s worried about it, about how you’ll feel. You don’t care. You never care. In fact, the friction on his hard cock on your clit feels… nice. 
“Why am I the exception?” 
You grin down at him, hands by his head on the couch, “use your big boy brain and think about it.” 
He laughs a little, “cause you’re afraid of me?” 
That makes you throw your head back and laugh hard, “oh, pretty boy, neither you or your daddy scare me. In fact, I’d be more than happy if you put me in cuffs.” 
He’s taken by surprise at your admission, shuddering a little, “should be ‘fraid of me.” 
You stand, turning the lights a little lower, “it’s you who should be afraid of me.” 
You can still see him, even in the dim, red lights. Fuck he was so beautiful. You start back your dance, his eyes still looking over your body. 
“I ain’t afraid of anything, angel.” 
You know that’s a lie. He’s terrified of his daddy, and everyone is afraid of death. But you brush it off, getting so close to him you could kiss him if you wanted. And you do, but you won’t let him know that. Not yet. 
“You, Gator Tillman, are the exception because everyone here thinks you’re so pretty.” 
He raises a brow, “pretty? Not the word that should be used f’me.” 
You shrug, “agree to disagree.” 
“I was told ya don’t do dances,” his voice is gravely and you know he’s doing everything he can to not kiss you. “Decided to ask anyway.” 
You pull back settling in his lap, not dancing anymore, “I don’t, but like I said, you’re the exception.” 
He hums, letting his hand run up your thigh, “I’m honored. Prettiest girl in this building.” 
“Flattery, Tillman, won’t get you much round here.” 
He smirks, the look making you want to kiss him just a little more, “will get me the ability to take ya home?” 
You think the shots he took some time ago are finally hitting him. Or he’s snorted some cocaine and it’s just hitting him. Probably the former. 
“M’not supposed to go home with the customers. Sorry, pretty boy.” 
Not a lie. You aren’t supposed to go home with the men here, both for fear of being murdered and because it can cause issues for the owner. The girls too, of course. God forbid you date a patron and then break up. It’s just awkward for everyone here. 
His hand slides further up your leg, resting right under the crease of your ass. Men have been killed for touching you there without asking. But this time it doesn’t make your blood boil like it should. It makes your stomach flip and your heart race. 
“I’m the law, baby. The rules don’t apply to me,” he’s looking up at you with big brown eyes, though they look black in this light. 
The rules don’t apply to him, you told him as such earlier. You remind him as such and he squeezes your hip. You swallow the squeak that threatens to come out, instead moving to straddle him once again. 
“Come on, baby, we’ve been playing this game for a year. Come home with me.” 
You swallow. You would be a liar if you said you didn’t want to go home with him. To let him get the rest of your clothes off and fuck you. For him to slide his cock down your throat while you’re on your knees. 
You know it would feel good. You know you’d enjoy whatever he threw at you, enjoying men who are rough but respectful. And by the feel of the hardness nestled on your clothed core, he could throw a lot at you. 
You can feel your mouth water at the idea of what he looks like under his pants. But he’s going to have to work harder if he wants you to go home with him. 
“Gonna take more than that to get me in your bed, Gator.” 
He thinks, hands roaming to grab the fat of your ass, “I could give you everything, angel. Anything you want, it’s yours.” 
You giggle a little, “yeah? Anything?” 
He nods, licking his lips, “anything. I’d give you anything. Could treat you real nice.” 
“How do you know I don’t already have someone treating me real nice? Hmm? Bold of you to assume I’m single,” you raise a brow at him. You’re lying through your teeth, making him work for it. 
“Trust me, baby, I know you’re single.” His eyes fall from yours to your lips and back. 
You get a little closer, his scent masculine and woodsy, “doing research on me?” 
That should be creepy, it should result in a knife in his neck (it might’ve happened a time or two..) but not with him. However, you know why he did the research. He had to after the murder last year, to rule you out as a suspect. 
“I did. So, you can’t lie ya way out of it. Lemme treat you right, pretty angel.” 
“I’m no angel,” your voice is just above a whisper, enough for him to hear you. 
He laughs, “agree to disagree.” 
He slides his hands to your hips, squeezing gently. 
“And if I say yes to goin’ home with you? Will you hurt me?” 
“No more than you ask me to.” 
You decide you can’t take it anymore, needing him too much. You’ll curse yourself later for folding too easily. You close the gap, a whole year of the chase coming to a head. The second your lips connect with his you feel like you’re on fire. He kisses you softly, nervously and it isn’t till your tongue begs for entrance into his mouth, that he kisses you harder. 
His hands are all over you, running up your sides and letting his fingers tangle in your hair. You rock your hips absentmindedly, needing more friction. 
Gators lips move down your throat, kissing and nipping at the skin and making you moan. He smirks against you and gently lips his hips to add more pressure. Fucking asshole. You grab his face, pulling him back to your mouth, your tongue licking into his mouth. 
He pulls back first, breathless, “I need you. I need to be inside you.”
Your stomach flips again because you love when a man begs for you. Especially men in powerful positions. You feel his confession right in your core. 
“A Tillman begging? What would your daddy say about this?” You’d never say a word to his daddy about this, of course. Roy Tillman can kiss your ass. 
Gator, of course, also knows this, “I don’t care what he’d say. He doesn’t need to know what I do when I’m off work.” 
You smirk, you’re more than willing to let him inside you. But first, you needed to see what you were working with. You slither to your knees, looking up at him, “this okay?” 
He nods, only giving you a verbal answer once you lift your brows, “yes. Please.” 
Your hands move to his belt, unbuckling it and popping the button of his jeans. You can feel his cock jump in his pants and you swallow down a giggle. It’s cute how excited he is actually. You’d be a liar to say you aren’t excited. It’s been a while since you had sex with someone and it’ll be the first time you’ve fucked someone at your job. You’re glad there are no cameras in this room because you’d absolutely get fired. 
You pull his jeans and boxers down till they puddle at his feet, allowing his cock to spring free. You can’t contain your reaction to the sight of his cock. He’s huge, his cock thick and has a slight curve. It’s beautiful and you feel dumb admitting that to yourself. It’s not the first you’ve seen but it’s definitely the prettiest you’ve seen. 
“Wow…” you whisper it but you know he heard you by the smile that spreads across his face. 
“You like it?” He’s cocky and it’s clear you aren’t the first girl to react this way. 
You just nod, gently gripping it in your hand. The weight of it makes your mouth fill with spit. You lean forward, licking a long stripe up it. He lets out a long moan, his head falling back against the couch. 
You smirk to yourself before taking him into your mouth. You work slow, making sure your throat is relaxed. You bob your head slowly, looking up at him as you work and for the first time he’s not looking back at you. He looks so pretty like this, head thrown back, hands balled into fists. 
“Fuck… this is s-so much better than I imagined,” his voice coming out rough and strained. 
You just moan against him, bobbing your head a little faster and taking him a little deeper. He hits the back of your throat and his head snaps down to you. The second your eyes meet his cock jumps in your throat, making you gag slightly. 
“Ah! That’s it, baby,” his hands fall into your hair, pulling and pushing you into his cock. 
You can’t help the moans that leave you from the pain of his hands in your hair. You know your cunt is soaked, your clit throbbing. So, you take him deep and hold him there, letting spit drool from your mouth and onto what you can’t fit in your mouth before pulling off of him. You lick your lips as you stand and straddle him. 
“How bad do you want to fuck me?” You kiss him lightly, just a taste. 
He takes a shaky breath, “s-so bad. Been thinking about it since the first time we met.” 
You pull your panties to the side, settling down so he’s resting against you. The head of his cock bumps your clit the second to start to rock your hips. The friction feels incredible against your aching clit. 
You need more but you’re trying not to rush it. 
“Been thinking about being inside me for over a year huh? Such restraint you have, pretty boy.” 
He shakes his head, letting out a small grunt, “I-I didn’t. S’why m’ here every Saturday. Gotta get my fill of ya for the week.” 
“Yeah? You sound a little obsessed.” 
He nods, “j-just a little.” 
You sit up on your knees using your hand to steady his cock and look up at him, “you still want this? You can say no and it’ll be fine.” 
He shakes his head so fast, you’re worried he’s gonna get whiplash, “no! Please fuck me. Please. Need it so fuckin’ bad. B-but I didn’t bring a condom with me. I-I’m clean I swear. I-If that ain’t okay I’ll survive. But I really wanna fuck you.”
You kiss him softly, loving the consideration and to stop his rambling, “I’m more than clean and I’m on birth control. Is that okay? Still wanna continue. I do if you do.”
He lets out a breath and relaxes, “that’s fine. I promise.” 
It’s all the conformation you need before slowly sinking down on him. All you have inside you is the tip and already the burn hurts so good. Gators hands grip your hips, mouth falling open as he helps you sink down more. 
“Oh my god, Gator,” you feel like he’s in your throat and you don’t even have him all the way inside you. He’s everywhere all at once and you love every second of it. 
Gator pulls you down more and captures your lips in a deep kiss. And then, he thrusts up inside you, seating himself fully inside your tight pussy. The action pushes all the air from your lungs, making you pull back from the kiss. You decide then that if you died this way, you wouldn’t be pissed. 
Even if God decided to bitch about all the sins you’ve committed.
That is, if you even go to heaven. You doubt you will at this point. 
Whatever. 
Gator stays still, letting you adjust and letting you rest your head on his chest to catch your breath. It’s slow to come back but once it does, you lift yourself and slam yourself back down. 
“Fuck! Fuck!” He’s loud and you're glad the club is loud enough that no one can hear you. Not that you’re opposed to that, but again, people like to talk and you aren’t keen on ending up in an unmarked grave. Gators daddy would kill you if you spread rumors that make Gator look like the sinner he is. 
You do it again, finding a rhythm, “you like that, pretty boy?” 
You slide your hands into his hair, loosening the strands there with a hard tug. He groans, his hips bucking up and hitting against your cervix. You’ll probably be bruised there tomorrow but that’s not your issue at the moment. 
The curve of his cock hits your sweet spot perfectly, making you whine and ride him faster. 
“Uh-huh. S-so tight and warm and perfect,” he’s rambling but it’s cute. “D-didn’t think we’d ever do this.” 
You smile, pulling a little harder at his hair, strands falling loose from their usually gelled place. “Paid me a lot of money, baby. Gotta treat you special.” 
“I-isn’t that prostitution?” He pushes out a breathless laugh. 
You can’t stop the giggle that comes out of you either, “maybe. But only if we say it is. I was j-joking.” You lean forward, changing the angle to hit that spot a little harder, “dedication got you here. And of course you’re so pretty. Prettiest boy.” 
Gators hand slides from your waist and finds your clit with ease, thank god. He uses his thumb to draw small circles, making that coil grow tighter and tighter. 
“Keep calling me that and I’ll cum before you do. C-can’t have that.” He plants his feet and sets the pace. He fucks you hard and fast. It feels so fucking good and you know this isn’t the last time you’ll be doing this. 
Can someone get addicted to another's cock? 
Yes is the only right answer considering how all you can think about is Gators cock and chasing your orgasm. 
“Such a gen-gentleman, Gator.” 
“Only for you, angel. Only for you.” 
The band inside you snaps, your orgasm slamming into you hard.
You cry out, leaning forward to bite Gators shoulder and muffle your screams. That is what pushes Gator over the edge, emptying inside you. Thank god for birth control. You both deflate, him growing soft as your cunt spasms with aftershocks. 
Gator breaks the silence first, “gonna let me take you home and take care of you?” 
It makes you laugh but you do think about it, weigh the pros and cons. “If I agree, you can’t ever come back here again. S’a rule not to date our customers.” You sit up so you can see his face, judge his reaction. 
A slow, sleepy smile spreads across his face, “deal! Won’t need to see you here when you’re coming to sleep in my bed.” 
All you can do is laugh and kiss him, deciding this time, you won’t have to murder a man you dated. 
253 notes · View notes
albed-hoe · 7 months
Text
Heart-pounding Performance
Characters: Lyney x M!Reader
Summary: Lyney may be a bigger fan of Teyvat's greatest male popstar than he thought...
Warnings: Fluff, mentions of big crowds (I could never be a celebrity just for this lol)
Word count: 837
A/n: I’ve been obsessed with I Am by Ive (lol) for a couple of months now, but that didn’t really inspire me for anything I just felt like promoting my favs, go stream rnnnn!! This is by far the winning vote of the poll for the moment, if you haven't voted yet click this link because there are still 3 prompts that are pretty close and a bunch of days left on the vote!
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You did have your fan base, but it seemed as if none other liked you as much as the Great Magician of Fontaine did.
A few months ago, Lyney had been caught up in an impromptu street magic performance at the Court of Fontaine. The crowd of onlookers huddled close with wide eyes as he made various objects disappear, seemingly into thin air. However, just as Lyney was about to make a whole deck of cards fly from one hand to the other, his eyes swept across the crowd only for them to lock onto yours. Unlike most of the crowd, you were watching with curious eyes, but without making a sound. Although you were further behind everyone else, Lyney still could not help himself from getting lost in those pools of [E/C].
And although it felt like he had been staring at you for an eternity, only a few seconds had passed before the whole deck of cards came fluttering down from the sky, scattering around his feet. The cards brushing against his face finally snapped him out of his daze. He stared at the cards in disbelief while he tried to find his bearings.
“Ah-” Was all he managed to utter before a shade of red crept onto his face. He, the Great Magician of Fontaine, had just messed up a trick in public. This was all because he had been ogling the greatest male pop star in all Teyvat, yourself.
All he managed to do was scratch the back of his head in confusion, his blush darkening when the crowd began to laugh. Not only that, but you were there watching, of all people… He looked up to see you smiling at him, chuckling in amusement. Great…
As he bent down to begin picking his cards up, the crowd got bored and dispersed. A few moments later, an elegant hand grabbed the same card he had just reached for, brushing against his. He lifted his eyes and met yours, his mouth hanging open.
“Oh, apologies, I just thought I’d help you pick them up!” You pulled your hand back and rubbed it nervously, looking away from Lyney. His mouth closed, and then he smiled politely, feeling better that he was not the only embarrassed one.
-
That was how you had met each other, attending each other’s shows every so often thereafter. Lyney knew of you before you had met in person, you were, after all, a very popular singer. His sister would even poke light fun at him for being a stan and for his puppy crush on you. What he did not expect, however, was to fall completely head over heels for you after your first meeting.
All this brings him to his current predicament: some of your fangirls were screaming at the top of their lungs at your performance, blocking the view of you on stage. Lyney was not tall, so this was a reoccurring problem for him at most of your concerts. His annoyance only grew as you finished performing a song, having seen you for a total of about three seconds. As you began talking to the crowd, the group of fangirls would scream their answers back at you at ear-piercing levels of noise.
“You know, I don’t think this night would be complete without inviting a lucky fan on the stage…” You said, his ears perking up. “Let’s see, how about…” Your finger travels across the audience, fans screaming louder when it passes by them. “You, over there! With the blonde hair!” Lyney looks up, your finger pointed at him in the crowd. One of the fangirls in front of him starts screaming, mistaking your pick for her.
“Haha, not you, silly. The boy behind you!” Confirming you meant him, Lyney gets ushered up the stairs to the stage by a security guard. He takes your outstretched hand in awe as he admires your tousled hair glowing in the spotlights. Your smile captivates him as you pull him towards the center of the stage.
“Hey guys, isn’t this the Great Magician of Fontaine, Lyney? What in Teyvat is he doing at my show?” You ask the crowd playfully. Oh, this was going to start some Twitter (not X eww😒) discourse later.
“Well, it’s good that he’s here, because I wanted to give him a little present on stage before we finish tonight.” You put the microphone down and turn to him, taking his face in your hand and speaking directly to him.
“Hopefully, this doesn’t start too many fan wars.” You tell him before leaning in and pressing a kiss on his cheek. The crowd goes wild as you pull away and smile at him. Lyney hears the girls who were blocking his view go crazy before he smiles back and holds your hands in his.
“I hope so too...” Twitter blew up over the next few days, but both your stan groups cross-stanned and shipped you together before the show, so their dreams came true as well.
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I’m not super satisfied with this one but my brain was dry asl sorry :( I’ll probably be back after the weekend since I’ll be away without wifi. See you all soon!
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madneedshelp · 1 year
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See Me - Eddie Roundtree x FReader
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Summary: You had spent your whole life trying to prove yourself, to be seen. Living in the shadows of your brothers was exhausting, but you fought to make a name for yourself. So, how could not fall for the only person who saw you no matter what?
You had always been Billy and Graham’s little sister to everyone. It didn’t even make sense because you and Graham were twins, but you were still always considered to just be somebody’s something. You were never known as just you.
When you were a kid, you were mildly annoyed by your afterthought status, but you expected the feeling to fade with age. It didn’t. It was only made worse when The Dunne Brothers formed.
Did Billy and Graham ever ask their own sister if she wanted to join the band? Of course not. You didn’t play any instruments, but you had talked about wanting to learn before. It kind of hurt how little attention they paid to you.
Instead of let it drive you crazy, you decided to use it. You were going to make them see you, and then maybe it would feel like they gave a shit. You were even lucky enough to have the perfect opportunity open up.
You could tell Chuck was flaking. He wasn’t serious about the band like the others. So, you took up bass guitar in secret. You were earning your spot in the band once he left, because you could very obviously tell he was leaving.
Sure enough, right before the band was leaving for LA, Chuck told them he was done. You walked out in the driveway to find the remaining band members looking absolutely pissed. 
“What’s going on?” You put a hand on Graham’s shoulder to catch his attention. 
Billy beat him to an answer. “Chuck quit. Now we’re out a bass player.” 
“The fuck are we going to do, man?” Graham looked over at him. 
“I don’t know, Eddie can switch to bass for us.” Billy spat out.
You glanced over in time to see a flash of anger in Eddie’s eyes. He didn’t want that, and frankly, neither did you.
It was now or never. “Let me do it.” 
“You play, little Dunne?” Warren asked. 
“Yes,” You assured him at the same time Billy and Graham let out a sure “no”. 
Your brothers turned to you in surprise the second the words left your mouth. 
“Since when do you play?” Graham gave you a suspicious look.
“Long enough to be better than Chuck.” You folded your arms and looked between him and Billy sternly. “Will you give me a chance to prove it?”
Everyone turned to Billy as he turned to you.
“Fine, yeah, let’s hear what you got.” 
You played one song for them and the vote to let you in was unanimous. 
————————
There was nothing quite as exciting as the feeling when you all arrived in LA. The night after you arrived, you all partied hard. Sure, you all didn’t know what you were doing or how you were going to make it, but you took a huge leap and that called for celebration in your eyes.
“Hey, I never got to thank you.” Eddie handed you a beer as he took the seat next to yours.
You thanked him and took a swig. “Thanked me for what?” 
“You saved my ass before we left. I like where I am, I never wanted to be a bass player. Besides, you’re way better at it than I am. You could kick anyone’s ass at bass.” 
You chuckled at him. “Well, I don’t know about that.”
“No, I’m serious. We should’ve kicked Chuck out when he started skipping practices ages ago.” 
A genuine smile grew on your face. No one has ever complimented you this much before. Especially not someone you barely knew. Eddie hung out with Graham, the most you’d really talked was small conversations in passing.
“Thanks, Eddie. I really appreciate that.” 
He gave you a smile in return and you felt a flutter, an honest-to-God, romance movie flutter. That was not good. You couldn’t fall for someone in the band, things would blow up if it didn’t work out. 
You excused yourself and went to find Camila. She might’ve been Billy’s girlfriend, but she had quickly become your best friend. 
“Hey Cam, come get another drink with me?” You put a hand on her arm.
She turned to you and nodded. “Yeah, sure.” You led her back inside and went immediately to the fridge. “More beer or should we open a bottle of wine? Fair warning, it’s super cheap and super shitty, but it’ll do the trick.”
“How about you tell me what happened with Eddie out there first?” She gave you a sly look.
You closed the fridge and whirled around. “What? Nothing happened!”
“Oh there was definitely a moment. I saw some looks over there.�� She poked you. 
“He was just being nice about me joining the band. That’s it. Nothing more.” You held up your hands defensively. 
“Why not? Eddie’s a good guy.”
“I just got in the band, I’m not complicating things with that. Besides, we’ve barely ever talked before. I don’t even think you could call us friends yet. The most important thing right now is figuring out how to actually get famous out here.” 
Camila considered your words for a second and shrugged. “I guess you have a point there. And I wouldn’t worry about you all making it, I have faith in this.” She looped an arm through yours. “Now, let’s go get drunk off our asses on this cheap wine.”
————————
After that night, you found yourself acutely aware of everything Eddie did and it frustrated you to no end. Every time he glanced at you in practice, every compliment he gave you, every little gesture he did. The last thing you wanted to do was develop feelings for Eddie, but it looked like it was maybe too late for that.
Y/N: To make matters worse, Camila had definitely not done what I asked and liked to play the subtle matchmaker. She thought I didn’t notice, but she was pretty obvious about it. 
Camila: So maybe I tried to get them together, is that so bad? Y/N was skeptical, but I knew it wouldn’t blow up like she thought. Besides, I’ve known them almost my entire life, and they deserve to be happy. 
“Hey, would you mind grabbing some ice from the kitchen?” Camila called out as she arranged some plates of food on the table. 
It was Julia’s first birthday, and you and Cam decided to plan a little gathering for it. Just the band was there, it wasn’t anything huge. 
“Yeah, of course.” You dusted off your hands as you finished setting up a folding table. 
“Great! Eddie, go help her.” 
You didn’t even have time to shoot Camila a glare before he nodded and started toward you. Instead you mouthed not funny at her as soon as Eddie couldn’t see. She gave you a smug grin and mouthed you’re welcome. 
You followed Eddie into the kitchen, nervousness faintly tingling in your veins. This man had entirely too much power over you. You had tried everything to get him off your mind, and it would work for a little, but then he would tell you he liked that little riff you threw into that song or he’d bring you your favorite drink after you and Billy had an argument over some stupid thing at the studio and you would turn all mushy again. You had come to realize that he understood what it felt like to be overlooked and maybe that was why you felt a weird connection with him. 
“You seen the cooler?” Eddie asked, bringing your attention back to the moment. 
You glanced around. “Yeah, it’s up there on top of the fridge. One second.”
As you stood on your tiptoes to reach for the cooler, you were realizing that you weren’t going to be able to reach it. Then you felt the ghost of warmth behind you. 
“Here, I can help with that.” Eddie’s smooth voice murmured above you. 
Instantly, you felt your face flame. God, you hadn’t behaved like this since you were thirteen. It was more than a little embarrassing and you sure as hell weren’t about to let him see you like that. As soon as Eddie snatched the cooler and stepped away, you put distance between the two of you. 
“I’m going to go see if Cam needs any more help, you got this from here?” You blurted as you made for the back door. 
“Wait!” Eddie grabbed your wrist gently. You flinched out of surprise, but he immediately dropped your hand. “Sorry, sorry, I just wanted to talk.”
“No, it’s fine, uh, what’s up?” You put on an entirely forced smile. 
Eddie folded his arms and gave you an earnest look. “Did I do something?”
“No,” your brows furrowed. “Why?”
“You avoid me all the time. I don’t know if I pissed you off at some point, but you act like I’ve got the fucking plague or like you want nothing to do with me.”
It stung a little bit. He seemed genuinely hurt, and you never wanted to do that. “No! It’s not you, Eddie. You haven’t done anything wrong, I swear.”
“Then what’s wrong? It’s bad enough being in a band with one Dunne that can’t stand me, I don’t know if I can handle two Dunnes acting like that.” Eddie threw his hands up in frustration. 
You closed your eyes and sighed. “Eddie, I promise I don’t have a problem with you.”
He took a step closer to you. “Then why do you act like you do?”
His tone was becoming more and more irritated, and the insistence was starting to annoy you too. He was going to make you say it, wasn’t he? But honestly, maybe you should’ve just told him. It had been well over a year of pining. If continuing to act like this was going to cause a fight, maybe it would be less chaotic to tell him and see what happens. Things couldn’t keep going the way they were, regardless. 
“You really want to know why?” 
He nodded. “Please.”
You took a breath and looked him directly in the eyes. “I like you, okay? And I don’t want to like you because liking people in your band doesn’t usually work out well, but it’s been too fucking long and I can’t stop feeling like this so I avoid you.”
Eddie let out a dark chuckle. “That’s it? You’ve been ignoring me all this time because you like me?”
“Yeah, I have. And don’t act like that’s so wild. My reasons make sense. It’s not stupid.” You practically spat the words. 
There were lots of ways you had envisioned this possibly going, but you never thought he’d be this angry. You didn’t think he’d be angry at all. Awkward maybe, but not pissed. 
“It is stupid, actually.” 
Your head snapped toward him. “I’m sorry, what?”
Eddie stepped closer again. “I said that’s actually pretty fucking stupid.”
“Eddie, I swear to God, if you-”
Eddie crashed his lips against yours before you could say another word. Your shock wore off after a moment and you were able to kiss him back like you’d wanted to for so long. The two of you broke apart after what felt like a small eternity, panting and grinning.
“Graham owes me $20.” Warren chuckled from the doorway. 
Both of you jumped apart and were met with Warren’s pleased face. 
“How long have been there, Warren?” You stammered.
“Long enough, Little Dunne. Long enough.” 
You pointed a finger at him. “Keep it to yourself, or you lose nickname privileges.”
“We already know!” A voice called from outside. Karen. 
You rolled your eyes. You kind of hated your friends sometimes, but you also kind of loved the infuriating little shits. 
“Whatever, let’s just get the ice back out there.” You shook your head with a laugh.
Eddie grabbed the cooler with one hand and your hand with the other, and you had to admit, you felt way less scared of the possibility of dating a bandmate. 
————————
Y/N and Eddie Roundtree got married a year after Daisy Jones and The Six broke up. They currently work together producing music and are still located in LA. Their daughter and son already have a huge love of music, and are rumored to be starting a band of their own.
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sunkissedchld · 6 months
Text
𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃
𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚
the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the new jeans CD, pile two is NCT, and so on and so forth.
take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don’t be afraid to say if the message resonated or not. it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it’s “bad”.
good luck to you, reader 💿
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𝐃𝚰𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝚰𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒:
this PAC includes mentions of specific celebrities! this is in an attempt to describe the energy of each pile.
in one pile's moodboard example, i use a tweet from stan twitter to visualize how one's fandom might be. i don't necessarily agree with the example tweet, but it was a good example of the pile's energy, so i used it. it doesn't imply or show my true feelings about that fandom or artist.
additionally, sections of this PAC make reference to adult topics such as sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, and more. please use your discretion when reading your or each pile.
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈
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Cards:
Queen of Swords, The Fool, Four of Wands, Two of Coins
King of Wands (Rx), Ten of Cups, Eight of Cups (Rx), The Devil, Four of Coins, Nine of Coins
Page of Coins, The Emperor
Knight of Swords (Rx), Ten of Swords, King of Swords, Page of Cups
The Star
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be soloists. 
the music you make would be hard-hitting and active! tons of choreography would be involved, and you'd make people want to learn your dances even if they weren't professional dancers! a significant amount of your songs might even go viral on platforms like tiktok. your music would be a fresh breath into the music industry; you would probably write your own songs and not be afraid to venture into a variety of music genres. you might do surprise releases (like beyoncé did with her self-titled album)! you'd gain tons of success with your works, so much so that you'd end up throwing celebration parties often due to it! you might find it hard to keep up with so much work (you're probably booked and busy with interviews, concerts, promotions, etc.), but you also love the lifestyle, and that energy shows through the music you make. 
in your musical career, you may come off as some sort of diva who knows how to talk their way to success. you come off as someone who has a great personal and professional life. you would have the type of career and life others' dream of having. you may stay in a healthy relationship. again, most of your songs would be upbeat and about happiness - which may be a breath of fresh air in relation to more emotional, heavy music. as you continue throughout your career, you may lean towards that emotional music because of depression or life struggles. you may be worried about the future of your career after your "prime". this might be after a period of time of years of hard work and seemingly little rest; you might fall into addictions to materialism, drugs, or alcohol. you will be protected though! people will be looking out for you and steer you back onto the right path which will keep you from going downhill. 
your fans would look up to you a lot. it's giving "these are my kids" energy. you may pay off their student loans or even party with some of them on a night out if you see them. you might appeal to a younger crowd - teens, college, and early adults. your fans see you as fair and as a pillar of authority. they look to you to determine how to move and act as a fandom. you act as the compass for order in their eyes. whatever you say to do, they will do. want to win a specific award? your fans will make sure they buy enough albums and vote enough for you to win it. want to collab with a specific artist? your fans will flood that person's timeline to make sure you two interact. it's almost like they fulfill your wishes! it reminds me of the saying ARMYs have about "anything yoongi wants, yoongi gets". 
the general public may have some conflict with you. some people may be prejudiced towards you (maybe because of race, gender, sexuality). some of the public will be hasty to judge you and bash you. this feeling will change fairly quickly. the public will realize they were wrong to judge you and feel horrible about what they did. some people may pray for your downfall and instead bring their own because it's like negativity towards you is reflected back on those who want to harm you; this goes back to you being heavily protected. in the end, the general public will see you as trustworthy and fair. some will think you're very innovative and great at executing your creative ideas. you could become a county's favorite artist. kind of like how Girls Generation is seen as the "Nation's Girl Group'' in South Korea - that would be your title as a soloist. the general public would end up doting over you and loving you. 
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈
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Cards:
Knight of Swords, The Devil, Four of Wands (Rx), The Hermit
Four of Coins, Five of Cups, King of Wands
The Moon (Rx), The Sun 
Page of Coins, The Emperor (Rx)
Ace of Coins
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 
you'd probably be the main rapper in this group. your group's music would be fast-paced and energetic. tons of choreography and you all would do major concept changes often. you all would also travel often or experiment with different cultural music. your sound would be bold - you might talk about taboo topics (ie. addiction, sex, violence, obsessions, death). your music might get spoiled before release. there may also be some times when the album is expected to debut on a certain day, and it isn't released until later - maybe because of music clearances or lack of preparation. your music would force people to confront difficult life topics instead of ignoring them. you all would also help people with mental health issues because they relate to the music so well. 
your group would achieve a ton, but i still think your company would be a little tight on finances. your company may be cutting it close to making payments on time, but you and the other members would be financially stable. the company would stay afloat, but it's like they struggle with money management maybe? you also would have a strong fanbase and a strong personal group sound (even while exploring so many genres). i feel like your company's struggles would impact the group and bring down morale. you all would have good successes but it's like your company takes you one step forward and three steps back. regardless, you all pushing through would just create more inspiration for music which in turn makes your fans appreciate and relate to you all more. 
i feel like fans would feel very protective and proud of you. the mismanagement of funds happening within the company would be revealed to the fans and public, but your fandom still has fierce loyalty to you all. they outwardly call out the mismanagement and want better for you all. you might have a lot of sasaengs because of fans' fierce loyalty to you. specific to you, fans may feel like you're very masculine or heavily into you masculine energy. you may be seen as the "sunshine" of the group. people look to you for happiness; there may be tons of compilations of your funny moments. you're like a light to a room to your fans and others. 
the general public learns a lot from you all. that sounds nice, but i think they mostly learn how not to run a company. you all definitely start important societal conversations on taboo topics like explained before, but that really gets overshadowed by company misadventures. people may see your company as young and maybe ignorant of how to be run? they'll feel like your company is abusing their power. you all may not get tons of promotion, so you may only be known to the public for your company's failures.
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈
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𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠
Cards:
Six of Swords, Nine of Wands (Rx), Three of Coins (Rx), Page of Swords
Knight of Wands (Rx), King of Cups, Page of Cups (Rx), Three of Cups, Nine of Coins (Rx)
Five of Swords (Rx), Five of Coins, Five of Cups (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx)
The Hierophant, Three of Wands (Rx), Six of Cups (Rx)
The Wheel of Fortune
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 
you'd probably be a vocalist. your music would have a theme all throughout your discography. it would be very consistent, and the albums would play beautifully altogether. each song would fade into the other and almost seem like a movie with just music. people may think you steal songs or there might be plagiarism controversies. someone from the group might be ousted, and that may be talked about in the music or hang over the group for a long time. this might be connected to the music you make in that your group isn't afraid to talk about being left behind and having to forge your own journey. someone in the group may be lazy. 
i think your group might break up, and you become a soloist? then, you'd be left to prove your worth in the music industry. you would come out on top, and let people know that you have a message that you're getting out regardless of the struggles you have to go through in order for it to be heard. i think ultimately you'll be left to work behind the scenes in the music industry - maybe as a songwriter or producer. it'll be the situation of people wanting to hear your words and you wanting to get them out, but it only materializes when it's told through someone else if that makes sense. 
your group career would be very messy. again, some members would be lazy; others would have bad attitudes and either be jealous and even violent. there's tons of in-fighting between members, and it's a major mess for everyone involved. you personally will not be like that though! you'd be the member others feel like they can trust and confide in. you're insightful and might even protect your members who are being bullied or on the receiving end of jealousy. similarly to pile two, your group's album would experience delays - due to plagiarism, samples not being cleared, lazy members, etc. 
your group produces music that's similar to what you all would be experiencing - troubled and emotional youth, manipulation, moodiness, immaturity, and unrequited love. despite all the in-group issues, you all would experience success for a time! ultimately, it will go away due to company mismanagement and all the group issues coming to light. 
fans might not like you because of what messy group members say about you. they'll say you're attention seeking and manipulative even though it's other members doing those exact things and NOT you. you might feel isolated because of the hate you receive. you may think no one likes you, and you might stare off during interviews because you're being ignored. you'd feel really lonely. as you keep going, you will gain strength and feel confident enough in the fact that you know you're a good person despite others believing the opposite. you'll know your truth is more grounding that others' lies. i think this is what will ultimately lead to you preferring to be behind the scenes rather than in the light of the music industry. 
i don't think the general public will hate you as much as fans seem to. the general public would be way more understanding of circumstances and would be willing to hear your side of the story rather than blindly believing you members. you'd have a major impact on the collective, and you might even become an expert in whatever you do behind the scenes. i think people will see that you were used by the machine called the music industry and would feel for you. i also think the public would pick up on the fact that you eventually feel unsure about your musical abilities. they'll see you as disorganized because of how the industry left you. your past would be at the forefront of the general public's mind, so it would be best for you to work behind the scenes, so the music can speak for itself rather than you speaking for the music.
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕
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𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐦
Cards:
Five of Swords (Rx), Queen of Coins (Rx), Six of Wands, Strength
Queen of Wands, Knight of Wands (Rx), The Magician, The Hanged Man (Rx)
Page of Swords, King of Swords, Three of Wands
The Star (Rx), Seven of Cups
Four of Cups
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 
you'd probably be a main dancer and a vocalist (but not a main vocal). your group's music would be shocking. it would deal with topics like manipulation, gossip, paranoia, and the theme might revolve around uncovering secrets and overcoming those who want to harm you. almost like a horror concept! i'm slightly reminded of xdinary heroes or even rage against the machine. your music would seek to uncover immorality in the world and put it in the face of society instead of trying to hide it like we've been taught to. super unique concept! your listeners get the feeling that they can uncover and fight through anything after listening to your music. the music is very strong (maybe even in the rock genre for some of you), and there's a confidence in the music (including sexual confidence). 
there's strong sexual themes in your music. femme fatale and dominatrix vibes are present. this group would be filled with strong female figures who are confident in who they are. in some instances, you all want to be seen as arrogant in order to provide a view of women that's not often seen in the music scene - at least not in a way where women are in control of their own power. this group would play off of gender stereotypes and archetypes in order to make a point to society. again, super creative concepts, and it might even include the occult! like divination tools might be seen in the background of some of your music videos. the point is to show young women that they can be powerful and also know when to hold back in order to show all sides of that power. 
your fans might be on the younger side - teens and young adults. they will like giving you handmade messages and gifts. it's almost giving you being the older sibling, and your fans are the younger sibling who looks up to you. they learn a lot about themselves from you, and see you as this intellectual that has great creative ideas. they also see you as just and fair and might come to you for advice. they may see their future selves in you and look up to you because of that. both of you have tons of love for one another (it's so cute!). 
the general public may not really like you. you may disappoint them because there's this societal view they have of how gender roles should be enforced or how your group should behave, and you all totally go against that. it's like they're thinking "that group would help themselves out if they just followed with the standards. they make it hard on themselves". they see you all as immoral and a bad influence on the younger society. they also see you all as delusional. 
reader's note: do not think of the general public's view as a bad thing! personally, it's important to remember that change only comes when society is forced to confront irrational and prejudicial thinking. if anything, the general public viewing you as this is a compliment in my opinion. 
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕
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Cards:
The Lovers, Eight of Swords, The Emperor, Queen of Coins, The Star
The High Priestess, Ten of Cups, Knight of Swords
Five of Cups, Six of Wands, The Hermit
The Chariot 
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be in a musical group. 
you'd be the face of the group/the center - maybe a visual position? your group focuses on love songs and relationships. you all would talk about all the ups and downs of creating, maintaining, and losing relationships. i feel like on the outside, the concepts of each title track might be visually very different, but the major theme of relationships would always be present. for example, there would be a very rosy and cheery song about how in love you all are in a romantic relationship (like a Twice title track), and then your next comeback would be more solemn and serious about how you lost a loved family member or something like that (like what's mentioned in DaBaby's "Gucci Peacoat"). you all would have long lasting careers and be seen as good senior musicians. you all would probably be very personally involved in the music making process. your music would be very comforting and relatable for whoever listens to it. i think you'd give many people hope when it comes to handling relationships. 
i feel like the group's music heavily focuses on emotional connections - so much so that spiritual and occult elements might be present in the process or music videos and things of that nature. your group might be seen as mysterious outside of the music you all make. it's like you all are only focused on the music aspect in the public eye and don't really reveal a ton about your deep personal lives (like siblings or TMIs or things like that). you all really want to emphasize the music! you and your group members would be very close in personal and professional life! you all may feel more like family members rather than friends which will translate into the music. it's like you all will recognize that you'd achieved your dreams all together and you would cherish one another greatly for that. you all may be internationally famous or gather fame quickly - maybe as soon as you debut! it also may be super easy for you all to make and release music. 
i get very despondent energy from your fans for some reason? they may frequently feel disappointed with you all - maybe because of how different title tracks and aesthetics can change for you all? it could also be that they're the type of fans that are always focused on how much bigger you all could be, so they never stop to appreciate how far you all have come and therefore they seem ungrateful. they will eventually get over this though! so maybe in the beginning they feel disappointed about how little known and unappreciated you all are, but when you blow up they feel very proud of your successes and feel like all of yours and their effort has paid off. your fans will look to you for guidance and support when it comes to mental health issues and gain personal strength from you. they may like how withdrawn you and your group can be when it comes to disclosing personal information. 
i didn't get any cards when shuffling to ask how the general public would view you. i only got the bottom of the deck energy which was The Chariot. i feel like this means your success will be so widespread it's hard to contain how the public views you to a couple tarot cards that may give a more in-depth explanation. they'll see you and your group as having great drive and ambition that leads you all to great success despite a long, uphill battle that comes with pursuing a musical career. i feel like they'd be especially impressed because you all come from a small company? it's like you all started from the absolute bottom to become major stars, and the public finds that admirable.
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈
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𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐠𝐲𝐧𝐲
Cards:
Nine of Cups, The Emperor, Four of Cups, Five of Wands, Six of Wands, The Empress
The Sun, The Fool, Five of Coins (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins, Four of Swords, Knight of Cups
Three of Cups (Rx), Strength, Page of Coins
The High Priestess (Rx), Five of Swords, The Star, Six of Swords
Ace of Coins
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be a soloist. 
off bat, you'd be super successful! i get the feeling you'd always be happy, and that might translate into your music. you may encourage listeners to be happy and invite abundance and gratefulness into their own lives the way you welcomed it into yours. i think you'd be very hands-on with your music, and you'd take the reins in everything you do - i'm almost reminded of beyoncé and how people view her as a perfectionist about her work. despite your perfectionist tendencies, you'd definitely be open to others' ideas, and you'd be nice to work with. people wouldn't have a bad word to say about you in that aspect. you'd be super hypnotic as a celebrity, so people would totally be drawn to you. i think you'd be open about all the "goods" and "bads" of fame. you'd talk about how financial abundance and overflowing love from people is very enticing, but isn't all it's cracked up to be. you'd be open about your struggles, and people would find that refreshing and admire you for your honesty. i think your spirit guides would be guiding you to and throughout fame because you were destined for it. you'd be spiritually protected. 
you'd exude energy and success in your music. you might even make perfect manifestation music! your music would be very original, and i believe you'd write music directly from your heart. you wouldn't worry about being "too vulnerable" because you want to be because it's like that's the essence of music for you. you take setbacks from your life and still find hope in them in order to take good from the indecipherable bad. i think that's what would make your music most unique. you'd treat music as your past, present, and future and because of how close you hold it to your heart, it becomes obvious in your music. the point of your music is to show personal growth, and people would connect with that immediately. i also think relationships and romance would be important in your music since your emotions would always be in your songwriting. your breakups, makeups, and new connections would always be written and released to the public - i'm reminded of Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. 
fans (or maybe more so the general public?) may see you like the two artists i just mentioned are viewed - promiscuous, always in a relationship, and maybe even excessive and overindulgent in life and financial endeavors. others will say that you're confident in yourself and your sexuality and find that empowering. they see you as someone who is secure in themself and doesn't need public approval to do whatever you want. there's a subtle, grand confidence in you that people see. your fans may want to be like you and be students of you, writing your every word down. you might be popular with teens and young adults. 
the general public will see you as someone who is secretive and doing shady things behind the scenes. they'll feel like your energy and personality is too good to be true. they'll say you're immoral and maybe even involved with the illuminati or something like that. some might even say you're misusing spirituality or witchcraft to get your fame. people would want to speak negatively on you and cause you distress; they might often engage in smear campaigns to lower your credibility. for others, you give them hope. overall, people's negative intentions will not matter because, as said before, you'd be heavily spiritually protected. you'll be able to brush off smear campaigns and negative, false publicity very easily. your foundation is too strong to be broken by bullies and those who are so miserable in their own lives they push it onto others.
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐈
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𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧
Cards:
Knight of Swords, King of Coins, The High Priestess (Rx), Three of Cups (Rx)
Ten of Swords, Nine of Swords (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins
Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups (Rx), The Fool, Page of Cups
Five of Cups, Five of Wands, King of Wands (Rx)
Judgment
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be a soloist. 
you'd be very involved in the musical process. you'd likely write most (if not, all) of your music. anything you make is sure to be a hit. you're ambitious with your ideas, and you're quick to create and hop onto new trends. i get the feeling you wouldn't trust your musical abilities despite how they always seem to work out for you. maybe you need a ton of outside support to finally decide "okay, this is a good idea". you might even be older than expected when you become a musical artist. you might feel unfulfilled in life in general and especially in the music industry despite your successes. you might spend way more money than you have, or you might just flaunt your wealth excessively. you might rely on drugs, alcohol, or sexual adventures as an escape from your feelings of loneliness. it seems you'd be successful but unhappy. 
your music may include information about the traumas you have. whatever is causing you to turn to your addictions will be explicitly mentioned in the music you put out. a lot of your music may mention themes like grief, depression, and hardship. it's like your music allows for you to constantly relive your traumatic experiences and that makes it hard for you to heal or create different thematic content if that makes sense. i think once you gained success you thought you would be happy, but it only made it worse because you realized fame and money does not automatically bring happiness. ultimately, i think those around you will urge you to gain confidence and help you to know you're on the right path. you'd slowly but surely become more emotionally stable and start traveling more and feeling more happiness. 
your fans would see you as very in tune with your intuition and femininity or feminine energy. they'd see you as caring, sensitive, and emotional. i think that's because those are the elements you use to make your music. they also see you as wildly artistic and creative. they might feel like you come up with music and ideas that no one else would even think of. they'd see you as an innovator. i also think they'd see you as broken or coming from traumatic and undesirable circumstances. i think they'd recognize and feel your pain. they'd view your life in the music industry and your fame as a new beginning for you and would see it as a chance for you to be free from what's hurt you. they might like writing out their love for you through social media campaigns or through giving you handwritten letters. they'd see you as someone who is constantly growing and learning, and they'd feel happy seeing you happy. 
the general public may have wishy-washy feelings towards you. they might find out about your addictions and feel disappointed with you. some people will feel empathetic and recognize how your misfortunes affect you and may have the view of "oh, it's horrible that they went through that. i hope they no longer do that and start feeling better and happier". others will feel like you're selfish and didn't appreciate what you were given if you engaged in your addictions while you were successful. they might think "they gained all that money and fame, so why even go down the route of addiction? they were just wallowing in their sadness". very different points of view, so the general public would feel split on their feelings towards you overall.
Playlist:
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𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈
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𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬; 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠
Cards:
Ten of Coins, King of Wands, Five of Wands, Temperance, Four of Wands
Nine of Swords (Rx), The Emperor (Rx), Five of Swords, Three of Cups
The Devil (Rx), King of Coins, Six of Cups
Ten of Wands, The Hanged Man
Knight of Coins
Reading:
those who chose this pile would be a soloist. 
you might be discovered purely by "chance". maybe you posted a song cover on YouTube or became popular on TikTok, and a label decided to pick you up. your music may have to do with your personal life like your family, how you gained your fame, your life history, and things of that nature. your music would be very motivational and strong. you may be very specific about your aesthetic and visuals because you want to stand out among the artist-filled industry. you would be super competitive when it came to the music game. you might be a rapper? i feel like you'd focus a ton on things like word-play. you also might like making society and listeners think about life, society, and spirituality/their life purpose. i'm reminded of artists like Jhene Aiko and J. Cole. you'd benefit a lot from your fame. 
you may be a perfectionist about your craft. you might miss out on healthy sleeping and eating patterns while working on an album. you may love the idea of working yourself until you can't work anymore. you see the struggle of work as a labor of birthing these creative ideas and appreciate each time you can create something new. i know i mentioned earlier that a record label may have wanted to pick you up, but i think you might prefer to be an independent artist. you wouldn't want to be confined to company standards and expectations; you would want to focus on the music. people and companies may want you to fail because of this. they may intentionally block your music from being played on the radio or from being nominated for awards. despite this, you would still gain success from you giving to others and others finding your energy welcoming. a strong group (could be your fans or the collective) would ensure your success. 
your fans would see you as someone that breaks free from the societal mold. they'd see you as someone that knows how to think for themselves even if the group wants them to think differently. they also see you as someone that knows how to keep going and growing when shit hits the fan. you'd be seen as someone that doesn't allow for life circumstances to bring them down. they'd see you as a successful business person who has the perfect ear for music and eyes for aesthetics. they may also see you as someone that is very guided spiritually. they can tell someone is watching over you to be sure you succeed in the industry. 
the general public would see you as someone who made something from nothing. they may not view you as this huge, international superstar, but you would be somewhat known. some parts of the population would be able to recognize you from a photo or from the mention of your name. some of the public may feel like you're delusional in what you're trying to achieve (especially if you're an independent artist going against big companies). i think the general public would also be able to tell that you're spiritually guided and protected. parts of the public will like that you give a fresh perspective to them and the rest of society. you could begin an idea shift in the collective.
Playlist:
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177 notes · View notes
Note
I don’t know if you’ve already covered this, but I had a question to ask about the VDC in Book 5. To clarify, I understand that RSA needed to win for thematic and character arc purposes, and that in-lore it was an audience vote not a professional one. The story beats line up. But the choice of cutesy and childlike RSA performance over the more refined and professional NRC performance still doesn’t quite click with me. Is there some kind of cultural difference that didn’t translate to explain why one performance was supposed to be understood as preferred over the other? Even if it was an audience vote, the standards should be higher just by virtue of this being a big name competition for teenagers held at a prestigious school.
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Very quickly, I want to add a couple other points that help to explain why RSA won over NRC! Book 6 opens early on with Vil noting that NRC was not able to perform as well as they wanted to since they had just come out of a difficult battle against his OB form. (Because of this, he accepts responsibility for their loss.) Thus, the NRC performance may not have actually been as "refined", "professional", or as polished as we imagine it to be.
Additionally, it’s stated in book 5 that RSA’s song choice had universal appeal whereas NRC’s did not. We see this effect on the production crew when Neige and the Seven Dwarves do their practice run; their performance has a refreshing and soothing effect on what appears to be an older audience (as it plays to their nostalgia); we must consider this when evaluating RSA and NRC. For example, I know that I really disliked NRC's performance (sue me/j) because it sounded very oppressive and therefore unrelatable to me. The lyrics are literally about how NRC will dominate their opponents and win 😭 Sure, the music and lyrics for Neige's song aren't complex, but they're at the very least accessible and easy to follow along with. (That's not to say that I prefer RSA's performance though; I'm just explaining why someone might not find NRC's performance appealing.)
Lastly! We as players are looking at the two song + dance numbers from an omniscient perspective. We need to consider our own biases when judging, and accept that it may differ from the characters in-universe view things. Maybe you prefer NRC’s performance. That’s fair! But how much of that is informed by your personal music preferences? And how much of that comes from your attachment to the NRC characters, since you’ve followed their stories up until this point? As Rook points out in book 5, he’s aware of how hard NRC has worked to get here… but he’s also aware of Neige’s hardships too (er, in terms of his lifestyle; ie living with the dwarves and doing chores, etc.). Consider then, would you honestly not have a bias for RSA had Twisted Wonderland’s story centered on them instead of NRC?
It’s also worth noting that how things are seen in Twisted Wonderland may reflect its own unique culture rather than how we in the real world may perceive it. Maybe the people of Twisted Wonderland just prefer a cute, nostalgic performance. This may not necessarily correlate with west or east at all and that has always been a possibility! (While TWST does take inspirations from the real world, it’s not a 1:1 with the real world.)
dkhlbaiyfadvfoad Okay, NOW onto the actual question being pitched!
When you look at media from different countries, there are some stark differences in how the same information is presented. One example is like... any Gordon Ramsay show yes, I am using him as an example. Compare the American cut and the British cuts; there are much more loud sound effects, dramatic music, yelling, and cussing in the American cuts. The British cuts, by comparison, are notably quieter and contemplative, with hardly any cursing. Another example! Looking at variety shows from the east vs the west, they're quite different as well. Eastern variety shows tend to be "cute", usually using various cute sound effects or edits which make the guests appear more bashful (like drawing blush over their cheeks or something). We don't see this in western TV shows, which are louder and more boisterous. I've noticed a similar trend in the music industries of the east vs the west as well, where eastern stars tend to emphasize their youthfulness and playfulness and western stars try to be more "mature" and grown-up. These are just my personal observations and may not reflect reality, especially seeing as I am not involved in music-oriented spaces.
I asked friends and personal contacts in both eastern and western pop music fandom spaces for their own insights (which is also in no way representative of both fandoms, but at least this gives us other perspectives for consideration). To summarize, most of them replied that they did not think cultural differences account for this situation, since equating a preference for a "cute" aesthetic is not the same as RSA performing what is basically a nursery rhyme. There's no real-world equivalent for that (at least none that they can think of), and I agree with all of this. There’s really no point in trying to compare the two.
I remember lots of Japanese fans being upset at NRC’s loss too (when book 5’s ending was first put out), so the impression I got was they didn’t prefer the performance of RSA over NRC either. It was not just the international fandom that was disappointed. I don’t believe TWST ever intentionally set out to present “Everyone Yahoo!” as the “superior” song and dance number, or as the performance we’re supposed to like more than the other. It was very much framed as something pathetic and unlikely to win in most of the eyes of the NRC characters. They make fun of RSA’s clumsiness and claim it’ll be easy to win over them. The player most likely is supposed to think this way too—until Vil, the one with an eye for showbiz, realizes his loss. Why? Because it doesn’t matter what we think. What matters is how this clumsy performance will resonate with the common person.
What I think it ultimately comes down to is emotional appeal to the audience, which is more of a personal/individual level thing than a cultural thing. The competition is decided by audience vote. The average person honestly does not care about quality or standards. No one is giving them rules to evaluate by, no one is going to tell them off for not having strict standards. They will pick based on what they like best or whatever makes them feel good. And what will make anyone feel food, regardless of age, sex, race, education, socioeconomic status, etc.? Something cozy and familiar, thoughts of simpler times… Nostalgia.
Something else to think about is what a powerful motivator emotions can be. There are irl idol competition shows that are high stakes and decided by audience vote just like VDC/SDC… and people will still vote for their favorites even if they gave a technically bad performance. This is because fans are so emotionally invested in and attached to the performer. It doesn’t matter how “bad” they are, the performer/performance makes the audience member feel impassioned, and they will then act according to those intense feelings. Think about what you’re like when you’re in a terrible mood vs a good one. You act completely differently, right?
I hope that perspective helps! 🙏 I tried to be as thorough as I could be in this response, but please let me know if I misspoke or maybe missed a point.
P.S. I happen to be responding to this ask after TWST showed us the NRC Tribe’s dance performance in a MMD video. I wonder if this only made the “NRC should have own” crowd double down on that opinion since now we’re seeing just what their performance looks like 🤔 (though we don’t have a complete MMD video of Neige’s group to directly compare, just this which shows part of the dance and not in the same clumsy way that Neige and co. perform it).
142 notes · View notes
whyse7vn · 6 months
Text
MIDLIFE CRISIS -
[ ot7 x reader ]
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JIMIN OLD ERA
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
namjoon: why are you guys so quiet today
what did you do??
just tell me so i can fix it pls and thx
hobi: idk I’m at the studio
y/n: omw to the studio so idk x2
jk: i am at home
tae: i am also at jungkooks home (and y/ns i would never forget u my queen i love ur house) maybe yoongi got into a fight again idk
yoongi: i am watching tv
not fighting
that was one time
hobi: didn’t you break woozi’s nose literally last week and harassed scoups a week before that?
jin: he also did knock out that one staff guy last month
namjoon: he did
and luckily when the guy woke up he couldn’t remember anything and didn’t sue
yoongi: you know about all that?
stop stalking me
freaks.
hobi: people talk yoongi!!!
tae: AND HE PUNCHED ME YESTERDAY
y/n: YOU BROKE WOOZI’S NOSE??????
tae: ok but yoongi also punched ME like who even is woozi when he’s at home????
yoongi: me but if i was ugly homeless untalented and had a broken nose
jin: yoongi is woozi’s evil twin
y/n: WHAT DID WOOZI EVER DO TO YOU??
yoongi: idk a woozi
namjoon: we are getting off track
jimin jin what did you do??
jimin: NOTHING I SWEAR IT WASN’T ME LITERALLY MAKING A SANDWICH RN
jin: i was cleaning haven’t done anything promise
namjoon: who is lying to me
pls tell me i really don’t have time for this rn
y/n: i vote jimin why is he shouting never trust a man that shouts
also tae get the fuck out my house rn
and can i get a little context about this woozi situation….
tae: cant wait for u to come home #sleepover
jimin: ITS NOT ME I SWEAR ALSO I THINK I BROKE MY PHONE I CANT TAKE CAPSLOCK OFF HELP
I VOTE JIN CUZ FYM UR CLEANING
jin: it means i me cleaning?
is he stupid? anyways i vote y/n cuz she’s a sick little liar and is probably causing problems
y/n: i’m literally in a car rn i’m not doing anything
YOONGI ANSWER UR PHONE RN
yoongi: read my message i sent you :3
hobi: i vote tae
jk: same
tae: wtf jungkook
jk: sorry u are taking real long in the toilet for all i know you could of jumped out the window and stabbed 46 people
tae: no cuz ur so right
but i haven’t btw namjoon if ur wondering
namjoon: ur all stressing me out
stop arguing
and NO sex talk please
jimin: ??????
yoongi: who is arguing?
jin: and who is talking about sex?
namjoon: oh
um okay
cool
good
yoongi: freak
hobi: yoongi about to send u this song listen to it pretty pls with a cherry on top >.<
yoongi: k
jk: guys pls someone bring me bread
i ate all my bread
y/n: will get some on my way home
yoongi i stg answer ur phone
jk: blushing
yoongi: :3333
jimin: PLS SOMONE HELP ME HOW DO I FIX THIS
jin: it’s probably a issue in ur settings
maybe idk
have you checked?
jimin: WILL DO THAT
namjoon: this feel extremely wrong
is everyone ok?
hobi: yes yes
yoongi: 👍🏻
jimin: YEAH
tae: yh
jin: yup
jk: yes mr namjoon
y/n: ofc !!
but woozi is not can we pls address the woozi situation yoongi did NOT answer me
namjoon: okay
why do i feel like something is wrong then
everything is wayyyyy to calm
it’s like
domestic almost
in a strange way
its unsettling
jin: then settle? idk what to tell you
jk: domestic malewife 🥺
my dream
y/n: ????
namjoon: no one is threatening to kill anyone
ur not taking about sex
nothing about feminism
or tae being broke
no jk vs yoongi
jin vs jimin????
hobi isn’t singing
no drug talk
and not one of you is on drugs right now??
guys be fr
what’s wrong?
jk: do you want me to get high rn??????
i can do it
if you want
i can
just say the word
namjoon: no wtf???
i would LIKE if you guys told me what the fuck you’re hiding from me
jin: let’s talk about what UR hiding joon
y/n: OMG WHY ARE WE NOT CONCERNED THAT YOONGI BROKE WOOZIS NOSE LIKE HELLO?????
namjoon: what i’m hiding????
i’m not hiding anything
jimin: IS IT FIXED NOW GUYS?
tae: when life gets tough you need to fix yourself
or you won’t be fixed
jk: woah
yoongi: what?
hobi: it’s cold as fuck toady
y/n: HIS NOSE HELLO??? ITS BROKEN
jk: tell him to fix it
because if he doesn’t fix himself he won’t be fixed
tae: the way jungkook just gets it 🥺
jin: don’t lie kim namjoon
namjoon: i really don’t know what ur talking about but ok??
anyways u guys are still bothering me but not in a i want to bash my head against a wall sense like normal
but in a are they being held at gun point sense
can you all snap out of it??
jk: don’t bash ur head joon
namjoon: im not
that is my problem
yoongi: sounds like you are
namjoon: you guys did something real fucked up didnt you that’s why ur acting like this
you can tell me
i wont get mad
hobi: ok can you shut up ohmygod
jimin: LITERALLY JOON UR GREAT AND ALL BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PLS SHUT THE HELL UP
jk: can you not shout pls ur scaring people
jimin: I CANT HELP IT
jk: sorry i’m just a ugly pig then
yoongi: ur so dramatic
tae: don’t worry kookie small men often carry a large amount of rage that’s why jimin is shouting
don’t take it personal
jimin: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME??
y/n: ok so you guys really don’t gaf about woozi???
jk: what is that???
yoongi: literally
tae: y/n can you also buy cheese for us when you come back
jk: cheese 🤤
y/n: whatever….
namjoon: wow ok
so
i’ll just go then?
jk: baiiii ^^ 💞✨
namjoon: no this feels so wrong
y/n: go take a nap joon
hobi: bros just yapping away like 💀
tae: GO
namjoon: did you guys kill someone?
be honest with me im begging
jin: maybe if we ignore him he’ll go away
jimin: fixed my keyboard
thank god amen #lifeisgood
namjoon: guys
jk: i’m a man not a guy
yoongi: what
hobi: do you think maybe this is his midlife crisis?
jin: i thought the whole rap monster thing was his midlife crisis
y/n: he was like 18 then?
jin: i didn’t expect him to live long
jimin: start of life crisis
tae: maybe namjoon himself is the crisis
namjoon: you guys are my crisis
y/n: we haven’t even done anything
namjoon: can you guys do something
hobi: ur really loosing it
namjoon: don’t make ME do something
hobi: wtf is namjoon threatening me rn?
jimin: what is the worst namjoon can do be fr
namjoon: i have like 127 snipers on ur house rn shut the fuck up
jimin: wtf???????
y/n: nct core
namjoon: me y/n and tae had a threesome
jk: WHAT??????????????
jin: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
jimin: oh my actual god
tae: I HIT I HIT GUYS I DID IT ALL OF YOU THAT PRAYED ON MY DOWNFALL LOOK AT ME NOW LOOK AT ME
namjoon: but that’s not the first time we fucked
minus tae ofc
tae: wait what
hobi: oh wow
namjoon: on jungkooks birthday last year
yoongi: laughed
namjoon: and at a sleepover we all had at yoongi’s house
yoongi: oh
jk: WHAT THE FUCK
y/n: i am going to kill you
namjoon: i have almost asked her to be my girlfriend
y/n: what
namjoon: on multiple occasions
jk: THIS HAS TO BE FAKE OMGSHH2£:£!£3:;&;’cmnfkknfmfnc
y/n: namjoon
namjoon: i’ve tried to get taehyung kicked out of the group a total of 29 times
tae: WHY WTF
????
OMG
BETRAYAL OF THE CENTURY
WHAT THE HELL
jin: LMAO that’s crazy as hell
namjoon: i have never eaten a single dish jin has ever cooked for me
jin: ARE YOU SICK?????????
I SLAVE AWAY IN THE KITCHEN
AND FOR WHAT???
FUCKING UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT
NEVER COOKING FOR U AGAIN
WOW IM SO PISSED
FUCK YOU
UGLY FUCK
namjoon: when we debuted i believed jimin was the ugliest man i had ever seen and felt physically ill when people would flirt with him because wtf were they seeing??
jimin: WOW
WOOOOOW
wow
that’s crazy actually
do u even fw us be honest
hobi: definitely fw y/n that’s for sure!!!
ok i’m sorry i didn’t mean it i don’t want to know what you have to say im sorry i just saw the opportunity PLS IM SORRY IM SORRY
namjoon: ur mother used to send me money so i would hang with you
hobi: ur telling me our sunday bonding days weren’t actually sunday bonding days 🥲
namjoon: i wanted to shoot myself in the head
jimin: what the actual fuck is happening
jk: HES LYING HES LYING THERE IS NO WUAYS HES LYINGGGGGGG
namjoon: why would i be lying?
y/n: namjoon you need stop talking
yoongi: namjoon kill yourself
jk: YEAH KILL YOURSELF
namjoon: thank you
jimin: this is by far the craziest degradation kink i’ve ever seen
namjoon: argue
yoongi: you want us to argue?
are you high?
jk: HES HIGH HE IS I KNOW IT
HE WOULDNT SAY ALL OF THAT SOBER
tae: waittt namjoons first high 💞💞💞💞
jimin: that makes sense
he don’t even know what he’s talking about rn lmao
not even mad anymore
i’m happy for u bro
namjoon: no i definitely do know what i’m talking about
i just want you guys to act normal
tae: it’s okay ur doing great joonie
namjoon: I AM NOT HIGH STOP
y/n: you have to be cuz wtf
jk: im confused
namjoon: shut up
jk: why is namjoon fighting me
namjoon: i literally slept with y/n
jk: STOP IT MAKE HIM GO AWAY
PLEASE
jin: IDC IF HES OFF FUCKING COKE RN
he’s actually so fucked up and insane for saying that TO ME LIKE TO ME MY COOKING ARE YOU INSANE??????
what a SHIT leader…
hobi: i think maybe he needs to hug a tree rn
stay grounded or smth
yoongi: bro is off the trees rn wydm
namjoon: i am “off” absolutely nothing rn maybe i’m just really concerned for you all
and maybe just maybe it’s you guys’ fault for making me have to act and talk insane so YOU GUYS can act and talk insane and make me feel at peace in life
you made me like this
all you do is cause me stress
this is ALL UR OWN FAULT
tae: i am NOT reading that essay 😭
jimin: omg we are all literally being gaslit by kim namjoon rn what the actual fuck is life
namjoon: im sick of you all
ur ageing me
y/n: i think ur ageing urself tbh
hobi: life goes on man…
tae: tbh i think namjoon is going through a bad trip rn
like tell me he doesn’t sound high as hell
jimin: you’ve actually lost it namjoon
hobi: it was bound to happen
tae: it’s okay just hold ur breath until you pass out and when u wake up you’ll be fine
that’s how i stop a bad trip
namjoon: I AM NOT HIGH FOR THE LAST TIME
jk: that’s what i say when i’m high
just saying
yoongi: this is definitely that midlife crisis
namjoon: why are you not freaking out about me literally having sex with the girl your in love with
yoongi: ur high and idc
jk: I CARE
i don’t believe you joon 😡
y/n: this is not life rn…..
hobi: are all four of you not in love with her wow thats kinda insane
y/n rizz go crazy
jimin: why don’t you all just like idk
date????
hobi: omg wait i wanna date too don’t leave me out this time 🥺🫰🏼
yoongi: i’ll pass
MY girl idk if you get that or not
jimin: but she’s-
ok
whatever
ur all fucked up idc
might as well all fuck but fuck me right???
ur girl no ur so right i need to just shut my mouth
sighs looks left looks right
idiot
namjoon: you all make me sick
jimin: literally do not care
jk: do you need a hug namjoon?
namjoon: absolutely not shut the fuck up
jk: oh 🥲
yoongi: so ur just really fucking mean high?
sucks
namjoon: IS HELL FROZEN OVER YOONGI BASICALLY JUST DEFENDED JUNGKOOK LIKE WHAT????? GUYS ARE YOU SEEING THIS???
hobi: who sold you this weed man..
we need to get them
jimin: he probably got sold cocaine got told it was weed and took it all
jin: yikes
sleep it off joon!!
namjoon: I HATE YOU ALL
omg
guys
i’m going to kill myself
….
now you say good or like do it or we won’t miss you
jin: who hurt you??
namjoon: YOU GUYS DID
YOU GUYS DO
ALL THE TIME ACTUALLY
WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING THAT NOW
jk: he wants us to tell him to kill himself?
namjoon: YES
y/n: he’s actually loosing his mind wow
hobi: he’s literally on another universe rn
jin: i’ll actually kill you instead of telling you to kill urself how about that!
namjoon: SHUT THE HELL UP
yoongi: does he want us to argue or stfu??? i don’t get it anymore
y/n: ur really like being insane rn joon
jimin: this a high that NEEDS to be slept off…
namjoon: there is no way u guys are being fr rn…
you guys are fucking with me
WHY IS IT AN ISSUE WHEN I SAY SOMETHING OUT OF LINE
hobi: you said MANY things out of line
namjoon: BUT YOU GUYS CAN TALK ABOUT HOW TAE HAD SEX WITH A RANDOM GIRL IN ALLEY FOR FREE FOOD AND NO ONE SAYS SHIT?????
tae: THAT IS NOT TRUE BTW
NAMJOON TELL THEM ITS NOT TRUE
namjoon: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY AT EACH OTHERS THROATS EVERY DAY AND WHEN I QUESTION WHY UR ALL BEING NORMAL I GET LOOKED AT FUNNY???
y/n: this is us normal?
I WAS LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT HOW YOONGI BROKE MY FRIENDS NOSE IS THAT NORMAL TO YOU???
tae: namjoon just used that fake scenario as an example IT IS NOT TRUE
namjoon: everyday you all push me closer to suicide
yoongi: ok?
idk what you want us to do at this point
namjoon: i don’t know either
yoongi: ok??
namjoon: ok
jk: OK 😋
namjoon: i think i’m gonna go now
namjoon left “JIMIN OLD ERA”
jimin: lmao i NEED to find out what he’s smoking that was crazy
i hate this actually.
tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz
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