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madneedshelp · 3 months
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I DONT WANT A STUPID FUCKING OVERDONE LOVE TRIANGLE I WANT THEM BACK
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madneedshelp · 6 months
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Still trying to process the fact that I went from deeply wanting another leg of Starcatcher to actually having tickets in less than 24 hours
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madneedshelp · 6 months
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I am nothing without my hyperfixations
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madneedshelp · 6 months
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All That Love - Josh Kiszka x AFABReader
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Summary: It was a surprise to find out you and Josh were expecting, and when the idea for a fall date arises, you devise the perfect plan to tell him the news.
Warnings: absolutely sickening fluff because I’m feeling like it, mentions of pregnancy, allusions to sex
Words: 1.3k (just a quick little oneshot)
A/N: It's been so long since I've wrote a fic, and I wanted to post something for the Halloween fics @hearts-hunger was organizing. Besides, I cannot resist a little Josh fluff. Also, fair warning, this isn’t edited because I really wanted to get it posted but I am a busy gal.
It was so nice to have Josh home on a break from tour. Especially during this time of year. While he may have been the human embodiment of sunshine, fall was one of his favorite times of the year. All the horror movies and psychological thrillers that he considered masterpieces, the cozy weather, the seasonal activities, he loved all of it and you loved partaking in it with him. 
However, none of those things were what had you most excited for him to be home. 
Two days ago, you found out you were pregnant. It was a fairly common scenario, the two of you weren’t actively trying, but you also weren’t necessarily preventing. Besides, you had been together for ages and you both wanted kids, this would be a welcome surprise. 
While it would’ve been so plainly easy to tell him, you decided you wanted to do something special. After all, this was Josh. He always gave thoughtful gifts and surprised you with elaborately planned outings. You wanted it to be your turn to do something nice to tell him. 
“What do you think of carving pumpkins tonight?” You asked from your spot on the couch. 
Josh looked up from the book he had been reading. “Hm? Pumpkin carving?”
You nodded with a small grin, trying your best to keep your face a reasonable level of excited. You happened to be unfortunately bad at surprises. “Yeah, I thought it could be fun. We could go to that pumpkin patch and pick them this afternoon, then we could come home and carve them this evening. Might as well enjoy your time off, right?”
He leaned over to kiss your cheek with a grin. “Sounds perfect, I’d love to. What made you come up with this?”
“Nothing in particular, just sounded like a nice idea. I do have those sometimes. Anyway, since you were a fan of my genius plan, we better get ready and get going.” You stood and pulled him up off the couch with you. If he asked too many questions, you would slip up or cave, and you were determined to pull your little scheme off. 
“Someone’s in a bit of a rush.” He gave you a mildly suspicious glance. 
You shook your head. “No, no, I just figured I need time to shower before we go and plenty of time for you to join me.”
“Ah, I like the way you think, sugar.”
—--------------
It was late afternoon by the time you and Josh made it to the pumpkin patch, and it was still packed. These places were always a bit insane in the month of October, though. It was kind of nice, all the families and couples that were out having a nice time. You could definitely see you and Josh bringing your kids to do this kind of thing. 
Before you could start to get emotional, you snuck a glance over at Josh. He was also looking at the crowds. He seemed to notice your gaze and turned to face you with a grin. 
“What?” You chuckled at him.
He leaned in a bit closer and spoke in a low voice. “I want one.” He nodded his head slightly towards a young couple with a baby dressed up in an adorable little pumpkin costume. 
The three little words warmed your heart. It had been so hard not saying anything to him yet, but you knew it would be so worth it when you told him that night. “Me too, but I think this might be a conversation for later.” You whispered back, giving him a quick kiss. 
Thankfully, the “later” part of the day didn’t take too long to get too. By the time the two of you picked out your pumpkins, went home, and made dinner, the evening had arrived. Still, the excitement had you eager to finish your plan. 
“So, any idea of what you’re carving?” Josh asked as he finished setting up the carving station on the back porch of your house. 
You made sure the carving template you printed off was held out of his view. “I have an idea.”
“What is it?”
“A surprise.”
Immediately, you could see the intrigue overtake his features. “Oh? Well now I have to know.”
You made your way to the table and scooted your pumpkin to the opposite side from him. “Absolutely no hints. We’re going to carve them facing each other and you’re not going to peek.”
“You torture me so, my heart.” He clutched his chest in mock anguish. 
“Just sit down and carve your pumpkin.” You sighed. 
He made it approximately four seconds before he started in again. 
“What’s that in your hand?”
You looked down at the paper in your hand. “Just a template.”
“Are you telling me you printed off a stencil?” He chuckled smugly. 
You pointed your flimsy carving tool at him with a stern look. “Hey, I just wanted it to look really good this year.”
He shrugged, still looking entirely too proud. “Well, we can’t all be naturally talented pumpkin carvers, I suppose.”
“You better knock it off, or I’m not showing you the finished project.”
His hands flew up in mock surrender, teasing finally starting to ebb. 
You put on some quiet background music, and the two of you got to work on your pumpkins and chatted lightly. The stencil you picked took a bit long to actually carve out. It had two little footprints in the middle and the words “coming soon” surrounding it. Josh finished first, and luckily didn’t try to distract you too badly. Deep down, you knew it was because the unknowing was killing him and he wanted you to hurry. You wanted to assure him that the feeling was mutual, and the sooner you finished the pumpkin the better. 
“Okay,” You let out a breath. “The masterpiece is complete. Are we ready for the big reveal?”
He nodded excitedly, grabbing his pumpkin. 
You matched his smile. “Okay, you first.” 
He swiveled the pumpkin around to face you. He carved his triangle symbol onto it, which wasn’t really a shock. He even had it embroidered onto the back off on of his suits, amongst many other things. 
“Fantastic work, it looks great, Josh.” You gave him a small round of applause. 
He waved a hand dismissively. “Why thank you, but the show isn’t over. We have to see your pumpkin before both can truly be appreciated.”
“Alright…” You bit your lip and turned it around slowly. 
As soon as he read it, his face cleared of all joking manners. The soft glow from the candle inside the pumpkin cast his face with a small bit of light, but it was enough for you to tell a faint sheen of tears coated his eyes. 
“Does this mean what I think it means?” His voice was practically a whisper. 
You nodded, your own eyes welling up too. “I’m pregnant, Josh. We’re gonna have a baby.”
He was in front of you in an instant, pressing a kiss to your lips as he embraced you. A few silent, happy tears escaped both of you as he leaned his forehead against yours and his hands traveled to rest on your stomach. 
“We’re having a baby,” He chuckled breathlessly, voice a quiet rasp.
“Yeah, we are.” You grinned, mirroring his soft laugh. 
He looked from your stomach then back up to meet your gaze. “I love you. I love you so much, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you’ve made me. I love our life and I cannot wait to watch it grow together.” 
“Likewise, Josh, I love you. Forever and always.”
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madneedshelp · 8 months
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nosy anons let's go
0: Height
1: Age
2: Shoe size
3: Do you smoke?
4: Do you drink?
5: Do you take drugs?
6: Age you get mistaken for
7: Have tattoos?
8: Want any tattoos?
9: Got any piercings?
10: Want any piercings?
11: Best friend?
12: Relationship status
13: Biggest turn ons
14: Biggest turn offs
15: Favorite movie
16: I’ll love you if…
17: Someone you miss
18: Most traumatic experience
19: A fact about your personality
20: What I hate most about myself
21: What I love most about myself
22: What I want to be when I get older
23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
24: My relationship with my parent(s)
25: My idea of a perfect date
26: My biggest pet peeves
27: A description of the girl/boy I like
28: A description of the person I dislike the most
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
30: What I hate the most about work/school
31: What my last text message says
32: What words upset me the most
33: What words make me feel the best about myself
34: What I find attractive in women
35: What I find attractive in men
36: Where I would like to live
37: One of my insecurities
38: My childhood career choice
39: My favorite ice cream flavor
40: Who I wish I could be
41: Where I want to be right now
42: The last thing I ate
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
44: A random fact about anything
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madneedshelp · 8 months
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It’s giving Florence and The Machine and I LOVE
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he IS the SUN
pennylanegvf on twt
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madneedshelp · 8 months
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Real pic of my fav chew toy
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madneedshelp · 8 months
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IM WAY TOO EXCITED FOR THIS
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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Spotify Love Story - Sam Kiszka x FReader
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Summary: You’ve been in love with your friend, Sam, for so long. You happen to get a peek at his spotify by chance, only to find that he’s dedicated a heartbreaking amount of playlists to a mystery woman he’s obviously in love with. You’d kill to figure out who she is, but you may know her much better than you think…
(This delightful prompt was left anonymously on obetrolncocktails’s blog, whoever came up with it is a genius and I love you) 
Warnings: language, angst, miscommunication (don’t come for me), alcohol consumption 
WC: 3.4k
Sam was always late. Thankfully never as late as his older twin brothers, but still pretty late to most everything. Needless to say, this wasn’t the first time you’d found yourself lounging on Daniel Wagner’s couch while waiting for him to meet the both of you. 
“We should really just pick him up at his place next time,” Danny sighed, checking the time on his phone for the tenth time. 
You let out a light chuckle. “Do you think it would help? Then we’d just be waiting on his couch.”
“Touché.” 
It was another fifteen minutes before there was a knock on the door. Only forty-five minutes late this time. He was getting better. 
“Sammy! Glad you decided to join us!” You laid on the overly sweet, passive-aggressive tone to your voice as Daniel let your friend inside. 
Sam waved you off dismissively as he entered the living room area. “Hey now, don’t be like that. Besides, you look pretty damn comfy on Daniel’s couch, so I don’t think you were suffering too much.”
 “She’s probably just hangry because we could be eating right now, but someone just arrived.” Danny nudges Sam’s arm as he walks past and over to you. He holds out his hands to pull you up off the couch and you gladly accept. 
“Why thank you, Danny. It’s nice to see that one of my boys has manners.” You grin up at him and throw Sam a quick side eye. 
The latter lets out a scoff, but you loop your free arm through his and lead them out the door. Danny was partially right, you were getting hangry. Besides, the three of you were off to a new place downtown for lunch and you were really looking forward to trying it. 
The whole put-out thing was completely an act. It’s not like you minded hanging out with Danny while you two waited on Sam, and it’s not like you really minded Sam being late either. You’d been close with the two of them since they moved to Nashville. While it had been pure coincidence to run into the up-and-coming Greta Van Fleet years ago, the friendship formed in the time since had held strong. While you did talk to all of them fairly often, it was the rhythm section that had really bonded with you. 
“Since I was tragically late, I’ll drive us. How’s that for manners?” Sam smirked at you as he veered toward his car. 
“It’s a start,” You smirked back at him. 
“Well, I can’t have him beating me at my own game, so why don’t you take shotgun?” Danny quickened his pace to beat you to the car and open your door. “After you, sweetheart.”
You feigned a flustered act as you climbed inside. “My goodness, Daniel, you make a girl feel like a princess.”
Danny gave a quick bow and hopped in the backseat behind you. Sam sighed as he shut his own door. 
“Jesus, Daniel, how am I supposed to win with you pulling that shit?” He looked almost ready to admit defeat before he perked up. That was his “idea face”, and that could mean both good and bad things. He turned to you with a grin. “Hey, why don’t you pick the music?”
A look of pure shock washed over both you and Danny. Sam was known to be kind of a music snob. Sure, he had good taste, but he was a bit of an asshole about it and he loved to be in charge of the aux. 
“I don’t think he’s ever volunteered this before.” Dany whispered to you. 
“Never thought I’d see the day.” You whispered back. 
Sam rolled his eyes and shoved his unlocked phone at you. “Oh shut up, just pick something on Spotify and be grateful.”
Deciding to take your rare win, you held your tongue and went to open Spotify. It was in that moment that you became aware of how unprepared you were. You weren’t expecting to be entrusted with music duty, and your brain was conveniently forgetting any song you ever liked. 
This was what led you to what felt like the biggest mistake of the day. 
Sam probably had plenty of playlists that you would be in the mood for, or that would at the very least inspire your own choice. You clicked on his library and started scrolling. It seemed like there were mostly playlists with witty titles that seemed very “Sam” at first, but then your eyes snagged on something. 
“Can’t Get Her Out of My Head”
“Wish I Woke Up to Your Face”
“I’d Play These For You When We Slow Dance”
You felt your heart sink into a bottomless pit. What the fuck were these playlist titles? No, you knew exactly what they were. This was the kind of thing people do when they’re absolutely head-over-heels in love with someone. Sam was in love with someone. 
He was in love, and that broke your heart because you were in love with him.
“Jeez, I let you pick the music once and you don’t even have something you want to play? I might have to turn music duty over to Dan.” Sam joked from the driver’s seat as he pulled out onto the road. 
You didn’t laugh at his joke. You didn’t pick any music. You just numbly handed the phone over to Danny. “Here, you choose, I can’t think of anything.” 
It wasn’t a lie. You really couldn’t think about anything besides the fact that Sam was obviously enamored with someone, and you’d been in love with him for years. Literal years. It made you feel pathetic and sad, but you were mostly just stunned. He hadn’t even mentioned her to you, which he’d done with all his past girlfriends since you met him.
Danny and Sam shot you an odd look, but neither said anything. Danny put on one of his favorite albums and Sam started chattering about how they could incorporate some of the elements into one of their new songs. You mustered up the ability to smile and nod along with the conversation, but it would be a lie to say you were retaining any of it. 
Before you knew it, you were seated beside Danny at the restaurant and staring blankly at a menu. As soon as Sam had excused himself to go to the restroom, Danny elbowed you lightly.
“Okay, what’s wrong with you?” He asked, keeping his voice low in case Sam returned.
You looked over at him and shook your head. “Nothing, just hungry.”
“Alright, what are you ordering then? You’ve been staring at the menu for like ten minutes.”
“Not sure yet, it all looks pretty good.” You shrugged.
He gave you a skeptical glance and snatched your menu before you could protest. “Name two things on the middle page, you know, the one you’ve been looking at.”
You let out an irritated sigh and grabbed for your menu, which he thankfully relented. “Fine. I wasn’t looking at the menu. I’m not hungry. Is that what you fucking wanted to hear?” 
His eyes widened slightly at your harsh whisper. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, I’m sorry. I promise I just wanted to know what happened in the car that made you sad…and don’t try to tell me you aren’t because I know you and I know something is bothering you.”
It took you a moment to speak. Honestly, if you weren’t so worried Sam would show back up soon, you probably wouldn’t have admitted anything. 
“Danny, does Sam like someone? Like have you seen him maybe talking to anyone a lot lately or, I don’t know, flirting with anyone?” Your eyes traveled down to your lap as you let the question escape. 
You could’ve sworn his eyes flashed with something like surprise, but he shook his head. “Nope, I’m not sure, but maybe you should talk to Sam about this.”
“Liar, you know something. I can see it in your face, so I suggest you tell me because there is no way I’m talking to Sam about this.” You set the menu down and turned to face him. 
“Listen, I really think you should just ask Sam about this. Trust me, okay?” Danny looked at you with a shocking sincerity. He wasn’t kidding and you weren’t sure what this was for.
Unless he did know something, and he didn’t want to be the one to let you down easy. Fuck, fucking fuck. Danny wanted you to ask Sam about the girl, so that Sam could be the one to tell you. 
Your eyes were starting to faintly sting and anger surged in you. You were a grown adult. You were not about to cry over a boy in a restaurant. This wasn’t a new love. You’d pined over Sammy for a while, and you’d both dated other people during the time you’d known each other. You were not going to let this get to you. 
“Ask me what?” Sam slid down into the other side of the booth, looking between you and Danny. 
Wonderful timing on his part. Instead of turning into the spluttering mess you were on the verge of becoming, you took a sip of your water and grabbed your menu while preparing to use the most nonchalant voice you’d ever come up with on the fly. 
“Oh, I was just asking Danny to help me decide between the sandwiches. We were having trouble actually figuring out what we want, so he said to ask you, but I think I know what I want now so the crisis has been averted.” 
Sam stared at you for a moment, a little wrinkle sitting between his brows. “Oh.” 
He most definitely had some suspicions about your excuse, but the waitress showed up to take your orders and to unknowingly save you from a very awkward conversation. You changed the subject once she was gone, and ensured conversation never drifted back. The subject wasn’t revisited for the rest of lunch. 
—-------
It had been a full week of stewing over Sam’s spotify playlists before you saw him again. You at least had some luck in the fact that he happened to be busy that week with work. He’d only asked you to meet up once, but you claimed you had errands to run and no other time to do them. He hadn’t pushed too hard, but he did send you a picture of Rosie looking sad on his couch with some caption about her missing your presence on your weekly walks with her.
Deep down you hoped he missed you too. 
Sunday night rolled around, and Josh had texted all of you to come for dinner at his place. You originally weren’t going to go, but all the Kiszkas and Danny had responded saying they’d be there, so you figured you had enough of a buffer that it would be safe. You had to see Sam at some point anyway. 
It was a little silly if you really thought about it. You were avoiding him, and nothing had even actually happened. All you did was stumble upon some playlists, and then you were the one who got weird. 
It was just that you thought something was different this time. You and Sam had both been single for a while now, and he’d been making more plans with you. It was probably stupid, but you thought maybe it meant something. Well, you used to think that. 
Equipped with a bottle of wine and a dessert that you made sure everyone could eat, you found yourself at Josh’s door promising yourself that tonight was going to be fun and you were done worrying about the love life of Sam Kiszka.
“Hello, I brought booze,” You grinned as Josh opened the door to let you inside.
He beamed back at you and took your dessert plate so you could set down your things. “Perfect! I knew there was a reason I invited you.” 
“Aw, you always know how to make a person feel special, Josh.” You clutched your heart jokingly and headed for the kitchen to greet everyone else. 
Jake was cooking while Sam and Danny made margaritas, and it seemed that everyone had partners there besides you and Sam. Not that that was a surprise, you figured they’d be there. You just hadn’t really thought about the fact that you two were currently the only single ones.
“Any way I could get one of those?” You took a seat at the kitchen island across from where Sam stood. 
Sam smiled at you and held up a margarita with a look of contemplation. “Hmm, I’m not sure. You did skip out on the walk on Thursday. Rosie is very upset, and I’m not sure she’d want you to have it.” 
Even when he teased you, he was still so fucking cute. It didn’t hurt that he looked really good tonight. You always loved when he pulled his hair back into a low bun, and he had on one of the sweaters you’d bought him for Christmas last year. Not that you cared about that.
“I promise I will make it up to Rosie and we can go for an extra long walk next week. Maybe even a hike on this one trail I was reading about that’s like an hour away.” You offered. 
“Deal,” he handed you the glass. “We will be taking you up on that offer for the hike.”
“Sounds good,” you nodded and took a sip, careful to keep a smile. You were friends first, you reminded yourself. You had been his friend for years and you could keep doing that.
Not long after, Jake announced that food was ready. As always when he cooked, everyone flocked to the table immediately. Jake and Sam were truly great chefs, and you knew the food would be great before you even tasted it. 
Sure enough, the meal was fantastic, and it was gone all too soon. The company was great too. You actually forgot about your little personal spiral for an evening and just got to be with your friends. 
It was nice enough out, and a bonfire was suggested. While everyone else went out to set up, you hung back with Danny and his girlfriend to gather the drinks. It wasn’t a Kiszka bonfire without booze, of course.
As you finished loading up a cooler with beers, Danny grabbed your elbow. “Can we talk about lunch last week?” 
You shot him a look. “What about it?” 
“Sam said you canceled plans on him and you’ve been off. I take it you didn’t talk to him?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I said I wasn’t going to, but let’s not worry about that.” You pushed the lid onto the cooler a little harder than you needed to.
Danny sighed. “You’re right, I do think he likes someone, and I really think you two should talk things out.” 
You whirled to face Danny with a glare. His girlfriend smacked his arm lightly. “Jesus, honey, why are you being so cryptic? I really don’t think it’s helping.” 
“She’s right,” you picked up the cooler. “It’s really just making me feel worse, and I don’t want to talk about Sam’s mystery woman anymore because if you can’t tell, I’m kind of in love with him.”
Before you could process what you just said, you headed out the back door. Danny and his girlfriend followed not long after, coolers in hand. He looked pretty apologetic when he met your eyes and you gave him a sad smile and an “it’s okay” nod in return. 
The night would still be good. You promised yourself that. Jake and Danny went and got their acoustic guitars, Josh sang along a little with them, it was nice. Except for the fact that Sam kept glancing at you, and you were becoming more and more sure that Danny told him what you said.
Unfortunately, the drink supply was cut off prematurely when an entire cooler got knocked over and the contents shattered on the concrete. Alas, that wasn’t going to kill the evening either. 
In an odd turn of events, Sam was the most sober of the crowd, and therefore volunteered to go on a drink run. He had only had one margarita, whereas the rest of you had gone a bit further. Well, you hadn’t drank much either with your mind on other things.
“Hey, why don’t you come with me?” Sam’s voice startled you.
You blinked at him. “What?” 
He chuckled. “Just come with me to get more stuff. This way we get to pick out all the good stuff we like and use Josh’s credit card.” 
“Yeah, okay, let me get my purse.” You nodded slowly and went to find your stuff.
Not the alone time. You came because there would be a buffer. You’d get over yourself eventually, but you hadn’t exactly prepared for a car ride alone with him. Especially not when Daniel may or may not have relayed the confession of your love to him. 
You were committed to going now though, so you would just have to pray that he didn’t bring it up. You met him out front and climbed into the passenger seat, vaguely reminded of the last time you sat there. 
“No music duty this time?” You joked, though it came out a little halfhearted.
Sam didn’t look up from his phone as he answered. “Nope, not this time. Technically, you didn’t even have music duty last time.” 
“Oh whatever, I had it and then Daniel took over.” You scoffed. 
The first song that came on was familiar, but the two of you kept talking. Still, you recognized it and kept an ear out. The next song was also familiar. So was the third. By the fourth, you had strong suspicions of what was going on.
Sam pulled in the parking lot of the liquor store when you finally figured it out for sure. 
“What the actual fuck, Sam.” You grit out.
He looked genuinely surprised by your anger. “What? What’s wrong?” 
You barked a bitter laugh. “Playing the fucking playlists you made for her? Right in front of me? Why would you do that?” 
Sam unbuckled and turned to better face you. “Who is her? What are you talking about?”
“The woman you’re in love with! The playlists with so much Hozier and the cheesy titles! The playlists you fucking made for her! I know Danny told you, you’ve been looking at me weird since I accidentally told him, so why would you play her playlists for me now?” You shouted, on the verge of sobbing right there in the car.
He leaned the slightest bit closer and placed a hand on your cheek, which you wanted to yank away but couldn’t make yourself. “There is no her. I made them for you.” 
You sniffled in what was probably the most unattractive way. “Me? They’re mine?” 
He smiled a little, in a bashful way that didn’t happen often. “All yours. You’re the one I’m in love with. I should’ve told you sooner, but I wasn’t sure how felt. I didn’t want to lose you, but then you started acting off and I figured out that you probably saw the playlists the other day and decided it was time to lay it all out there. For the record, Daniel hasn’t told me anything about you tonight.” 
It was you. He actually loved you. He put those stupid, incredibly sweet playlists together because he couldn’t stop thinking about you. 
Your face broke out in a full smile. “I’m glad you told me, and I’m even more glad that Danny didn’t tell you anything.” 
“Why’s that?” He asked, his own smile growing. 
“Because now I get to tell you that I love you myself. I’ve loved you for so long. I love you, Sammy.” You moved in closer to him, leaning your forehead against his.
“And I love you.” He let himself melt further into your touch, and when your lips finally met, you could feel that that was completely true.
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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I do not lie when I say this is the best thing I’ve read in a while (I’ve been really swerving in Danny lane lately and this really spoke to me) so if you haven’t, go read it now, people!!!
Ignition | Danny Wagner X f!Reader X Jake Kiszka | Part 1
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Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+. This series will include smut, angst, and fluff. In this part: Depression, and unrequited feelings, with some exciting fluff!
Word Count: 3,325K
A/N: This series has been a blast to write so far. I am literally a Danny girl right now (don't tell Josh)! Parts will be released relatively close to each other, so you won't have to wait long for your fix. I've got 13K words ready to publish!
Summary: Losing your best friend and the possibility for more all in the span of 5 minutes wasn't your idea of a fun way to spend your Friday night. But life is full of surprises, especially when Danny Wagner walked into your life just when you needed him.
“Y/n,” Jake pleaded in his too sweet and too sensitive voice, his fingertips reaching out to comfort you as you withdrew within your own quiet, cracking defense. His voice sounded exactly like the one you’d heard in your head so many countless nights as you imagined this conversation, but the scenarios didn’t match in the slightest. 
“I love you,” He spoke again, slicing another hole through your heart. You heard the three words, but not in the way you’d manifested you would. 
“No. You don’t.” 
He was silent for another moment, slipping his hands into the pockets of his same stupid jeans he always wore. “I’m not in love with you,” he said as quietly as he could muster. “But you are one of the most important and special people in my life, Y/n.”
“Jake, just please,” you sniffled, feeling the tears flowing heavier, blurring your vision. “You’re hurting me.” You could barely muster the words. “So, please just go,” you begged him. The likelihood of this outcome was exactly why you persuaded Jake to let you be the one to drive. 
“You can’t drive like this,” he said quietly. “I can drive you home.”
“No,” you said too forcefully. “I just want to be alone, and I don’t want to be alone with you right now, Jake. So please. Just go.” You looked up at him, sure that your makeup was smearing pitifully down your face. “I will text you that I got home,” you finished, staring down at your steering wheel. Those were the last words that you’d utter to him tonight. 
“Okay,” he answered quietly, picking at his nails in his lap. He wore a pained, regretful expression, which hurt you even more. You felt the pang of an approaching sob ripping through your throat, but you pushed it down until he got out of the car. You watched as he silently reached for the door handle, swinging the door open and stepping out. He turned around like he wanted to say something, then closed his mouth again, his lips pulling taut with indecision. 
“Please let me know when you get home,” he said. You nodded once, tearfully. He closed the door and left you alone. You watched through the car window as he trudged up the dark driveway and into his house. The silence inside of the car was deafening, and if you could have dissociated through the grief, you would have. Wiping away the tears and taking in as deep of a breath as you could manage, you reached forward and put the key into the ignition, cranking the car. As it roared to life, a small feeling of relief pushed you to pull out of the neighborhood and head home. 
Admittedly, you had driven almost entirely out of muscle memory, coming out of your distracted state as you approached the last stop light before the turn-in to your own neighborhood. You didn’t remember exactly how long you sat in your car, letting your head spin and your heart reel, so lost in your own upset. For so many months you had let the scenarios and possibilities of more, something exciting grow and turn into something that you had created that was so unbelievably real to you, that you hadn’t truly processed the possibility of disillusionment. You’d hurt yourself even further by scrolling through your camera roll, searching and scanning for yours and Jake’s pictures taken together, his arm wrapped around you, holding you close. His smile was infectious, and despite the stale tears drying on your cheeks, you couldn’t help but smile. You loved him–you always would, but it had become something more. Those feelings had scared you so deeply, but empowered you to take that terrible risk for the slight chance that he too, felt the same way.
It took everything in you to summon the energy to go inside, and when you did, you didn’t even bother changing out of your clothes. You stepped out of your jeans and got into bed, letting the cried-off makeup seep into your pores. It would have to wait until the morning to be washed  off, because you didn’t care. You had no one to impress. Why did Jake have to be your best friend? Why, now when you were hurting so badly, you couldn’t turn to him for support? He couldn’t come over and talk you through the pain. You couldn’t cry in front of him like you used to, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to be that easily vulnerable in front of him again. Reaching for your phone, you sighed deeply, texting a message to Jake as you had promised.
 “I’m home.”
 Reading the happy-go-lucky messages that had been exchanged before the last had filled you with even more sorrow. You’d just have to wade through the despair tonight. There was nothing that would make this any better. 
Just to hurt yourself more, you decided to look for a playlist of adequately-depressing songs, and pressed play. You stared up at your dark ceiling, watching the blades of the ceiling fan whir. After a while, you welcomed the mindless churn of your consciousness, momentarily compartmentalizing your sorrow into emotionless numbness. 
“Thanks for letting me know. Take care of yourself, Y/n. I’m always here for you.” He responded. Even when you wanted to cast Jake away, set forth on your own mission of shunning, you couldn’t. Jake exuded kindness and care with everyone he’d ever met, and you certainly were no exception. You couldn’t chase away the idea of tacking up a picture of him on an axe-throwing board, and slamming blows through his pretty face until you were either satisfied, or there was nothing of the paper left to shred. Even in your darkest, most self-sabotaging thoughts, images of hearts and kissing still flooded your mind's eye, betraying your feeble attempt at resolve. You weren’t sure when the tears stopped, but eventually they did, though you still felt the drying reminder of them on your skin as you finally laid down in hopes of falling asleep. 
The next day came with your body freezing, having fallen asleep on top of the covers. You felt an itch as you opened your eyes, reaching down to unstick your keys and phone from your legs. You let your head fall back against the pillow as you realized that you had forgotten to charge your phone, and your consequence was to be connected at the hip with a charging cable all morning. Your notifications were scarce and held no significance. If you were honest with yourself, you felt just as insignificant, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed all day and dissolve into the welcome comfort of sleep. So, you did. 
***
Days passed unremarkably. You went to work and finished your shifts, blocking out the world around you through your airpods. You regretted it deeply that you had easily let Jake become the center of your universe. You wondered if he missed you, and while you knew that he did, you couldn’t help but selfishly and angrily push away any sympathetic thoughts. But, of course, after you did, you still felt the remaining ache tug at you. 
“Y/n,” Richard, the owner of The Bohemian, the record store that you worked at, tapped on your shoulder. 
“Hm?” You asked, pulling out your airpods. 
“I’ve been calling for you,” he said, looking at you with a quirk in his brow. “You seem a bit distracted lately, and you’ve missed a lot of work. Is everything okay?” Looking down at the chance to avoid his stare, you realized that you’d been shelving records into the wrong area and under the wrong artist. You turned to hide your mistake. 
“Oh, uh,” you paused, fighting to make eye contact with him. “Sorry. Just some stuff going on with family. I’ll do better, I promise,” you quickly apologized. 
“No, no,” He said, placing a friendly hand on your shoulder. “That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I just want to make sure that you’re doing okay. You’ve always been right on time for work. You always have a smile on your face, always so, I don’t know,” he chuckled once, shrugging. “Anyway, I’ve just noticed that spark has been a little dull for a while now.”
Anxiety and embarrassment coursed through your body, your heart rate increasing, feeling each thump pound through your skin. “I’m okay. I will be, at least,” you ensured him.
“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? It’s been so quiet here anyway,” he offered. “We won’t mention the call-outs,” he grinned, offering a wink. “Go on. Remember to take care of yourself.” He unknowingly echoed Jake’s sentiments.
Initially, you weren’t enthused about being released back into the sadness of the routine you’d created over the last week and a half. At the same time, you had the energy to do something for yourself. “Are you sure? I feel like I’ve been out more than I’ve been in,” you chuckled nervously. He waved you off, dismissing your worries. 
“It’s hurting my heart to see you so miserable. Plus, you’re gonna send customers away with how dreadful you look,” he grinned sympathetically. “Go before I kick ‘ya out,” he said, pushing you away toward the front of the store. 
“Okay, okay!” you answered. “I gotta get my stuff from the back though.”
He shook his head, teasing you. You retrieved your belongings and clocked out. “I’ll pick up some extra hours next week,” you said as you headed out of the front door, the automated bell tinkling.
“Yeah, yeah!” he said, waving you away dismissively. “Enjoy your day.”
***
It was convenient that The Bohemian was downtown. The major inconvenience, however, was that it just so happened to be pouring-down raining outside. It didn’t deter you, though. You decided to take a left at the corner and book it toward one of your favorite places. Apothecary Coffee Co. was a combination coffee shop/bookstore that you loved to go to for as long as you could remember. Throughout college, it was your spot to study, to write, to read, and to hang out with friends. Even in your sadness, the brightness of the converted pharmacy filled you with comfort. As you stepped in from the rain, you were reinvigorated with the welcome warmth of the place. 
“Hey! What can I getcha?” A cute barista asked, her blonde hair collected in a messy bun on top of her head. Her eyes were bright and friendly as she prepared to write on one of the cups to her left. She wore a square name tag with her first name written in a delicate script you could have imagined on any beautiful wedding invitation. Margot. 
You offered her a kind smile. “Can I just get a medium iced caramel latte? With oat milk please,” you asked with a polite smile. You watched her ring it up and give you a total, reaching for a pen to write your name on the cup. 
“Oh, um. Y/n,” You told her, inserting your debit card. She seemed nice. She had beautiful tattoos that snaked around her arms, and up toward her bicep, and she had several piercings. 
“I love your tattoos,” you mentioned with a smile. 
“Oh yeah?” She asked, rolling her arm forward to show you. “I love them, too. I got the full sleeve completed last month.” As you leaned over the counter to view the art on her arm, you couldn’t help but feel a twang of intrigue, and of curiosity. 
“I don’t have any,” you admitted. “But maybe sometime soon,” you shrugged, placing your hands in your pockets as you stepped to the side, in case another customer were to step up to the counter. 
“You should. But make sure you love whatever you want first. There’s a few that I regret,” she confessed. “But I can cover them, so it’s no big deal.” You watched as she wiped the marble counter as your espresso shots poured into your cup. A new customer stepped up to the register, so you ended the conversation naturally, accepting your latte a moment later with a friendly smile of gratitude. 
This was your place. Many times, you’d escape your own mind by coming here to distract yourself with a new project. You realized in the moment of sitting down and taking a sip from your cup, that you felt better. For the first time in more than a week, you’d felt a sense of relief, even if it was in a miniscule way. You heard the tinkling of bells overhead as you emerged from the second chapter of the book you had picked up. The noise pulled your attention upward. As you looked up from your book, you felt your heart squeeze in your chest. You made direct eye contact with Danny Wagner as he walked through the door, his hair shimmering with rain, his leather jacket speckled with dripping raindrops. 
“Y/n,” he said with genuine happiness. “It’s been a minute,” he said, approaching your table. “I haven’t seen you around.” You closed the book and set it to the side. 
“How’d you know I’d be here?” You asked, the question coming out far more accusatory than you had intended. 
“It’s your place,” he shrugged with a soft grin. You could have sworn you saw a flare of scarlet fill his cheeks for a moment. He cleared his throat. “I thought you’d end up here sometime or another,” he said. “May I sit?” He asked, gesturing to the chair in front of you. 
“Sure,” you said, moving your items out of his way. 
“How are you holding up?” He asked gently. “I- I heard what happened,” he continued, looking up at you with an almost sheepish expression. “I’m so sorry.”
You nodded, swallowing back both embarrassment and hurt. “I’m okay,” you nodded as you spoke, mostly to convince yourself that it was true. “He just didn’t feel the same way,” you shrugged. “It happens.”
“He’s your best friend, Y/n,” Danny pushed slightly. “It’s okay to be hurt. You don’t have to pretend around me. I’ve definitely been there. Except I never told them how I felt. And it still hurts.”
“I’m sorry, Danny.” You were quiet for a moment. “I just really miss him. I can’t believe I fucked everything up.” You groaned, covering your face and rubbing at your eyes with the butts of your palms. 
“You didn’t fuck it up,” he argued. “In my opinion, honesty is the utmost form of respect. Do you love Jake? Putting your…feelings aside. Do you love him?”
“Of course I do,” you said almost immediately. 
“And I know that he loves you, even if it’s not in the way that you had hoped. He hasn’t been himself since,” he admitted, sitting back in his seat, crossing his arms. “You both are so stubborn that you don't want to be the first person to reach back out. One of you has to clear the air. I don’t know who it will be. Just–” He reached out for your hand. “Don’t lose your best friend, Y/n.” 
You sat there with Danny in a long moment of silence. “I just don’t feel like I should be the first person to say something. I just don’t have it in me to be that…” You couldn’t come up with the word. 
“Vulnerable?” He offered. You nodded. 
“I already embarrassed myself once.”
“You didn’t embarrass yourself, Y/n. Feelings aren’t embarrassing, even if it feels that way.”
“Then why did it feel so awful?” You asked, chuckling softly. 
“Because sometimes having a heart sucks,” he grinned widely. For the first time in two weeks, you smiled genuinely. 
“Maybe I should get that tattooed on my forehead.”
“I’ll do it for free in my back-alley tattoo parlor. We dole out free sepsis with each tattoo!”
“So generous!” You exclaimed sarcastically, playing along. “You know what I’ve been thinking about? Well, since I walked in here?”
“What?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. 
“Doing something impulsive.” You mimicked his expression, raising your eyebrows with interest. 
“What did you have in mind?” He asked suspiciously. 
“I thought about getting a piercing,” You said matter-of-factly. “Right here,” you continued, pinching your ear at the top, outer edge. “A helix.” You bit your lip, smiling with enthusiasm. 
“A cartilage piercing.” He said slowly, nodding his head. “You just decided this now?”
You nodded. “Yup. Wanna come with me?” You asked. “Maybe I could bully you into getting something.” 
“Not a chance,” he said, narrowing his eyes with a mischievous glimmer. 
“We’ll see about that, Wagner.” You rose from the table. 
“Wanna ride?” He asked, standing. 
“You rode the bike?” You asked, craning your neck to look outside. Luckily, the rain had cleared into a thin mist. 
“How do you think I got so soaked?” He asked.
“Don’t kill me on that thing, please,” you insisted weakly. You had never ridden a motorcycle before. 
“I’d never, ever let you get hurt, Y/n. Plus, if we’re acting on impulsive thoughts, you might as well jump on,” he said, reaching for your hand, turning the corner of the shop where he broke out in a sprint. You knew he was trying his best to cheer you up, and though you thought you would have fought it, his presence felt so refreshing, that you would have been stupid to say no. So, you ran, too. 
The motorcycle was beautiful, and from what you could tell, brand new. It was a completely rebuilt vintage Harley, fitted with the sleekest, most attractive body, with a paint job that sparkled even in the overcast weather. More than anything, it was intimidating, and sexy. “Wow,” you said, your face slack from gawking at the vehicle. 
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” He asked, pulling on a leather pair of gloves. 
You nodded, swallowing, because you assumed that it was probably just as fast as it was incredibly beautiful. “I’ve never been on one,” you said hesitantly. He looked up at you with a curl in his lip. 
“After today, you’ll crave it,” He mused, reaching for his helmet and putting it over your head, leaving the visor up so you could see. “I wasn’t expecting passengers, so you can use my helmet.” You didn’t say anything, but the pinch in your gut only furthered your nervousness. 
You watched as he straddled the bike, his tall, strong frame mounting it with full confidence. 
“Um,” you hesitated, stepping back a step. “I don’t know about this.”
“I promise you’re safe, Y/n. Trust me,” He said, reaching out his hand for you to take. “Hop on.” Despite your better judgment, you stepped forward, taking his hand. Swinging your leg over the bike, you swapped his hand to hold onto his shoulders. 
“Ready?” He asked, turning his head over his shoulder. 
“I don’t know,” You admitted. Your ears roared as the bike sprung to life, and before you knew it, Danny had revved the engine and lifted his foot off of the brake, lurching the bike forward, sending you scrambling to wrap yourself around him. 
“Hold on,” He grinned, his curls already whipping around his face. 
You pressed yourself into him out of necessity, thinking that if you didn’t, you’d most definitely fly off of the bike. You heard a chuckle vibrate through his body as he increased speed, feeling you tighten your grip around him. “Still interested in that piercing?” He asked loudly against the wind, slowing down at a red light. 
“I don’t know,” you said, tossed with indecision. 
“Tell you what. I’ll say fuck it and get that same piercing with you if you say yes.” 
You chuckled with disbelief. “Says the guy who said no fucking way?” 
“You’d be surprised, Y/n. I tend to loosen up around pretty girls.”
End of Part 1.
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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Working on this one now! Let me know whoever wants to be tagged!
reader finds sam's spotify and it's full of playlists called things like "when she looked at me last tuesday" and "i fall asleep dreaming of her and wake up to cold sheets"
and she's so heartbroken and jealous of whoever the girl is that he's making them for (spoiler alert its her)
OH FUCK I NEED THIS ONE RIGHT NOW!!!!
I'm such a sucker for a heart-wrenching, miscommunication fic! SIGN ME TF UP!!
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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Does anyone have any fic prompts that they would like written bc I want to write so bad but I cannot come up with a good idea for the life of me :(
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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Ok so Nashville…
There was so much that happened and holy shit it was all so fucking good
Anthem? And they all sang? DEAD
Ok honestly just everything about what happened at the b stage was INSANE
The fan project?!?!? Josh cried, I cried, we all cried, I’m just so glad he knows how loved he is
The whole setlist was fabulous, I’m very intrigued to see which ones are regulars and what they’re going to keep from old albums
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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Did I just buy Nashville tickets like an hour ago for the concert that’s literally tomorrow? Yes, yes I fucking did
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madneedshelp · 9 months
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ITS ALMOST TIME HOLY SHIT
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