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mxmmyprentiss · 2 months

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your ivy grows

Summary: It’s unfair, Emily thought. Emily loves you and you’re in love with JJ. And to make it even more complicated: JJ loves Will but she lives in your bed some nights and leaves you the next morning. Genre: Angst (with happy ending) Pairing: Emily Prentiss x reader ; Jennifer Jareau x reader Warnings: none Word count: 6.6K

A/N: 2 fics in 2 days because my brain is trying to avoid other feelings. Also, this does not follow any canon timeline in the show. All likes, shares and comments are very much encouraged and appreciated. Thank you! Enjoy!

AO3

It all starts when you join the BAU.

You walk past the glass doors and immediately feel eyes on you. Of course, you’re a new face. They have never seen you before. You are instantly intimidated by the suits and the files on the desk and the dark brown eyes staring at you.

“Hello,” A tall raven-haired woman approaches you. The one with dark brown eyes. “Do you need help with something?”

You bow your head a little as a sign of respect. “Hi, I’m here for the unit chief? Agent Aaron Hotchner?”

“Oh, sure. Let me show you to his office. You must be the transferee from the Hostage Rescue Team.” Emily offers her hand for a handshake. “I’m SSA Emily Prentiss.”

You shake her hand firmly and smile. “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“You too.”

When Emily leaves you at Hotch’s office, something in her ribcage hurts and her stomach suddenly feels weird. And when you mouthed a thank you and flashed her a smile that reached your eyes, Emily thought her heart might drop to the floor.

After a short talk with the unit chief, Hotch introduces you to the team. You meet all of them - Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia.

“Where’s JJ?” Hotch asks.

“I’m here, I’m here,” A blonde blue-eyed woman approaches the team. She’s carrying tons of files in her arms. “Hi, I’m Jennifer Jareau, communications liaison. Everybody calls me JJ.”

And the way your eyes twinkle as you and JJ shake hands doesn’t get past Emily’s scrutinizing eyes.

Emily has yet to know why but her rib cage might explode because of how fast her heart goes.

---

Your adjustment with the team isn’t easy at all. They have known each other for years and you’re the newcomer after all. But all of them have been kind and welcoming to you so far.

You are partnered with Emily and Derek most of the time. You spend a lot of time sitting at the back of the SUV and listening to them talk about their theories regarding the UnSub, which you have been fond of because you learn a lot from their insights.

Emily has always been considerate of you though. She always asks your opinions which you assume she does so you won’t feel left out or unheard.

“You can always speak your mind, Y/N. You’ll never know what might help our case.” Emily says to you, tapping your shoulder.

“I will try. Thank you, Emily.”

Emily has never loved her name until you said it and Emily knew she’s a goner.

---

It is the first time you accepted an invitation for drinks from your colleagues. It’s not the first time they asked though. If you’re not wrong, this would be the third.

Spencer was the first person who invited you but you politely turned down the invitation due to your throbbing migraine at that time.

The second time, it was Emily. She told you the team is gathering for dinner and drinks at Rossi's and everyone would love it if you would come. But you feel something’s off. You didn’t deserve to dance with their victory just yet. You haven’t earned it yet. So, you told Emily you can’t make it because you’re meeting your parents that night and you haven’t seen them in a while, which is technically true. (Hint: Your parents died when you were sixteen.)

Tonight though, the third time, JJ approaches you. Her smile is so radiant that the sun would be so jealous.

JJ sits on your desk. “So … we’re betting who could make you say yes to drinks with the team.” JJ speaks faintly, but still just loud enough for the people on the next desks to hear. “I need the cash.”

You snort. “What’s in it for me?” You ask boldly.

Derek wolf-whistles. Spencer watches the scene unravel. And Emily tries to hide a glare by playing minesweeper on her computer.

“Pasta, wine and my eternal gratitude and friendship.” JJ folds her arms. “So, what do you say? We’ll split the cash?” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“Deal.” You shake JJ’s hand.

Groans are heard and JJ does a mini dance while collecting 20s from her friends. You catch Emily’s quick stare. She’s probably pissed at you for losing the bet.

---

Since that night at Rossi’s, you and JJ start spending more time together, both in the field and at the office. It’s not your fault though. It’s just something that happens. After all, Hotch declares who goes with who.

During your work travels, JJ always chooses you to bunk with her at the hotels you stay at while the others mix and match with their own roommates. Nobody else complains and so you don’t either. You like spending time with her and it’s not so bad when you hear her sleeping soundly at nights that leave you awake.

You and the team are in New Orleans for a case. New Orleans PD has requested the FBI’s help about a series of murders involving several - twelve, so far - white redhead women.

There’s something reserved about JJ’s smile when she approaches a certain policeman you don’t recognize. He introduces himself as William LaMontagne Jr. and you catch the way JJ’s shoulder brush against his multiple times when he discusses the case.

“He and JJ had a thing,” Emily tells you as you both proceed to the crime scene. “On and off, I guess.”

“Oh.” You frown. You don’t know why Emily is telling you this. Maybe you should try being more subtle.

Emily wishes she didn’t tell you this instead because the frown on your face has been more frequent as the days of this unsolved case pass.

---

JJ invites you to a pub near the hotel. The BAU and New Orleans PD just caught the serial killer this morning and somehow, everything feels right again in the city. You happily accept her invitation and put on your coat, walking past the rooms of your colleagues who must already be asleep.

JJ links your arms together the whole time of the walk to the pub. The only time she lets go of you was when you saw a familiar face waiting for her at the counter.

Will.

JJ kisses him on the cheek and he holds her wrist when she places a hand on his chest.

You want to vomit. Must be the acid. But you haven’t had drinks yet?

You go back to your hotel alone that night. JJ and Will dropped you off at the lobby, claiming they will just take a walk around and he promises to bring her back early tomorrow for your flight.

So now, you’re in the hotel lobby watching people pass by.

“Y/N?” Emily calls you. She’s still wearing her clothes from this morning and from the looks of it, she hasn’t slept yet either. Emily sits next to you. “What are you doing here?”

“Just … thinking.” Emily glances at the way you’re clicking your thumb and middle finger. “I’m okay. I just can’t sleep yet.”

“Does JJ know you’re here?”

“She’s with Will.” You respond impassively.

Ah.

Now, Emily knows why you’re here.

“Do you play scrabble?” Emily asks.

“Yeah.”

“I have one in my room.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

It’s the first time today that Emily saw you smile without restraint.

---

“So, where are you staying now?” Spencer asks JJ one afternoon in the bullpen.

“Well, that I’m still trying to figure out.” JJ sighs. “I might stay here for the meantime.”

“Here at the office? How are you going to sleep?”

“You can stay at my place.” You offer out of nowhere causing your friends to look at you. “I mean, if you’d like. I have a spare room.”

JJ’s eyes light up. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I’ll help you pack. Whatever you need.”

It happens frequently now - Emily’s heart sinking to her stomach when she thinks about you with someone other than her. She might need to puke later.

Her jaw tightens as she rewrites a finished report. To hell with this paragraph and typo and this ugly font.

---

The plan is for JJ to stay for three months at your place while her apartment is being renovated. You and the team help her move to your spare room.

You prepare dinner for them and your new roommate. Everyone is taking a look around your place and luckily, you cleaned up yesterday so the house isn’t at all a mess.

Emily joins you and JJ in the kitchen. “Can I help?”

“You can set the table.” You suggest.

“Sure.” Emily washes her hands in the sink. “Where are your plates?”

“The plates are on the drawer beside the fridge, spoon and fork on the next drawer to the left, glasses are next to the water dispenser.” JJ replies.

“You already know your way around here.” Emily states the obvious, trying to mask the pang of jealousy.

“I already slept here a couple of times before.” JJ admits and Emily wants to combust.

“I should have already charged her by the hour for rent.” You joke but Emily doesn’t laugh. She proceeds with setting the table instead.

It takes every ounce of self-control Emily has not to break the plates.

---

You and JJ quickly adapt to living with one another (not together, you cautiously remind yourself). JJ wakes up early and makes coffee. She doesn’t make breakfast though. Caffeine is all she needs in the morning. You, on the other hand, like to cook a little something to start your day.

Since JJ stayed in your apartment, the two of you always arrived at the bureau together. It’s no surprise to the team really. But since you and JJ established that routine, Emily hasn’t smiled much at your arrival to the office like she used to do.

You kind of miss it - being welcomed by a warm smile knowing the day you’re all about to have.

---

“Y/N,” You hear JJ’s voice in the dark. “Y/N.”

Your eyes flutter open and see JJ sitting on the edge of your bed. Even in the dim light, the bags under her eyes are noticeable and her cheeks are flushed.

You sit up. “What’s wrong, JJ?”

“Can I … can I stay with you? Just for tonight. I don’t want to be alone.”

Of course, this would be crossing the very thin line of boundaries you have left with her. If she sleeps beside you, she will be near you and if she’s near you, your thoughts will be filled with more of her and that’s … well, that’s just wrong - harboring thoughts about your friend.

But you are yet to learn to say no to Jennifer Jareau.

So you let her crawl to your bed and slip under the covers. You turn your back on her and face the lamp on the bedside table, praying to a God you don’t believe in to let you sleep without JJ running through your mind.

You wake up to an empty space beside you the next morning.

---

The wall comes crashing down when the thin fine line becomes a teeny tiny dot.

It has become a habit now - JJ crawling to your mattress when she’s sad and scared. You don’t get much sleep from that point forward because you feel her snuggling towards you while she’s asleep and the tiny noises she makes rewires your brain. Only for you to wake up early in the morning with a fixed set of pillows and JJ’s scent on the empty side of the bed where she used to lie.

This leads to you having additional caffeine intake every day.

“That’s your fourth cup today. Are you okay?” Emily asks you in the break room.

You massage the back of your neck. “I’m okay, Em. Just haven’t been sleeping very much lately.”

“JJ snores loud?” Emily jokes but the sharp pain in the pit of her stomach says otherwise.

“She doesn't snore.” You say.

And the pain in Emily’s stomach surges into something else entirely. Because how do you know? You have separate rooms. Your rooms are on the opposite sides of your apartment. You don’t sleep next to each other.

Unless …

“You two sleep together?” The crack in Emily’s voice is enough to make you stifle a giggle.

“Not in that way.”

Emily is tempted to ask in what way do you want to sleep with JJ. She’s also tempted to chug a hot freshly brewed cup of coffee to stop herself from further talking about this. She doesn’t need to know. She doesn’t want to know.

“She and Will are fighting a lot lately. She sleeps next to me when she’s sad, which is every night now I guess.”

Emily’s head is spinning and her ears are ringing and maybe her eyes are bleeding? She’s not sure. But it feels a little bit like that.

You watch Emily gulp her scalding hot coffee then spray it to the nearest sink. You rub her back gently, worried she might have burned her tongue.

---

Your apartment feels empty.

JJ flies back and forth to New Orleans during the weekends and weekends are the only days you can stay at your apartment for longer than a night’s sleep.

It’s too quiet now that JJ isn’t around. Your Law and Order marathon is left on its last episode that you two watched. You have no energy to continue it now.

You lie down on the couch and scroll through your phone. The online scrabble app that Emily installed catches your eye and you open it. Emily is online and you invite her to play. It lasted for almost a whole day before Emily calls you up and invites you to dinner at her place.

You accept.

You show up to Emily’s door 30 minutes later, bringing your promised take-out foods. Emily welcomes you into her home. A black cat purrs on your leg.

“Hi, buddy!” You excitedly pet the cat’s head. “Who are you?”

“That’s Sergio. He’s the boss around here.” Emily chuckles.

“Emily Prentiss, how come I didn’t know you’re a cat person?”

She smirks. “I’ll tell Hotch you need to be re-evaluated.”

You roll your eyes. You pick Sergio up and he doesn’t fight. He settles on your shoulder and purrs. “He’s so cute!”

“And expensive to have around.”

“I want a cat.” You blurt out. “I realize I want a cat.”

“You sure? You can’t take him though.” You and Emily share a laugh.

“Not this guy.” You squeeze-hug Sergio and he meows. “He will miss you.”

“Your apartment getting lonely?” Emily senses.

You nod. “JJ hasn’t been around much. I know she’s not going to be around forever, too.” You swallow, glancing to the floor where Sergio just jumped. “She and Will are working things out, I think. She’s flying out to New Orleans every other weekend.”

“JJ must like him a lot then.” Emily watches your lips purse.

“JJ loves him.” You correct her. And in a way, remind yourself of the fact.

Emily’s eyes dart towards your fingers involuntarily clicking. She observes you a lot of times and she knows your little tics by now.

“Let’s eat, Y/N.” Emily ushers you to her living room where the food is already prepared and the TV is already being set up. “What do you want to watch?”

“I want some light comedy if you don’t mind.”

“Modern Family?”

“How do you know?”

Emily recalls the Claire Dunphy Defense Squad button pin on your shoulder bag when you first attend the team gathering at Rossi’s. “Lucky guess.”

It’s halfway through the sitcom’s season when you fall asleep. Emily gazes at your head bobbing up and down as you try to keep yourself awake and failing. She gently cups your cheek and rests your head on her shoulder. Emily thinks you’re waking up when your body moves but you just shift in a more comfortable position which ends up lying your head on her lap and hogging the blanket you’re supposed to share.

Emily lovingly gazes at you, fixing your hair that falls out of place as you sleep.

Emily wishes this moment will stay forever.

You. Her.

Emily never felt more at peace.

---

“I have news.” JJ announces one morning in the kitchen. You are cooking breakfast for yourself and she’s brewing coffee for both of you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Good or bad?”

“I’m not really sure.”

You scrunch your nose. “I’m not a fan of news like that.”

JJ beams. “I’m pregnant!”

And your world stops.

Gravity is pulling you to the ground. Your feet feel heavy.

You almost burn the egg.

“Y/N?”

A tear falls on the pan. Additional salt, I guess.

You turn off the stove and approach JJ with open arms. “I’m so happy for you.” You hug her tightly. “This is good, JJ.”

“It is.” She hugs you back. You don’t let her go for a while until you can control your tears from dropping. “Thank you.”

You blink rapidly, pursed your lips then smile widely. “Congratulations, Jennifer.”

“I have to tell the team.”

“Of course.”

JJ looks so happy and she’s in a glow you have never seen before. You wonder if it’s the pregnancy or the fact that she’s in love.

Regardless, you’re happy she’s happy.

Even if the weird tightening in your chest says otherwise.

---

JJ announces her pregnancy to the BAU 3 days after she told you. Everyone is excited and happy for her. Hugs are happening left and right from the team.

But Emily is looking at you.

And from the corner of your eye, you see her too.

Suddenly, air is not enough. You excuse yourself from the celebration for a minute. You’re suffocating and you need to breathe.

“I knew you’d be here.” Emily’s voice startles you.

You’re sitting in a block on the rooftop. You don’t respond to her and instead, you light a cigarette from your pocket.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

You frown. “Just when I feel like it.”

“You can talk to me, Y/N.”

“She told me 3 days ago, if you’re wondering why I wasn’t surprised.”

“How do you feel?”

“It doesn’t matter what I feel.”

“It matters to me.”

“Why?”

“Because …” Emily pauses. Overwhelming number of scenarios running through her head in a second. “Because you’re my friend.”

You blow smoke into the wind. Emily smells it.

“That’s what I seem to be to everyone. Just a friend.” You say bitterly. “I mean, I’m not really surprised. I’m basically disposable.”

Emily wants to storm to JJ’s office and she doesn’t care what the hell she’s doing in there, she wants to slap JJ hard; put all the pain you’re going through - because of her - in one hard strike. Sure, JJ is still one of her closest friends and she loves her to death but God -

It’s unfair.

Emily loves you.

If you were ever caught in a crossfire, Emily would come running to protect you in a heartbeat, no questions asked and all orders and protocols be damned. She will gladly take all the bullets for you until she loses her own heartbeat.

Emily loves you.

If anyone ever spoke of you wrong, Emily will be there to defend you with all her might. She will flip tables and look them in the eye and tell them how you're the kindest, most genuine, charming person she’s ever met and they’re lucky to even breathe the same air that you breathe.

Emily loves you.

If you were crying and out of breath, she would drop everything and give you the air she breathes if it means you will be okay.

It’s unfair, Emily thought.

Emily loves you and you’re in love with JJ.

And to make it even more complicated: JJ loves Will but she lives in your bed some nights and leaves you the next morning.

Emily loves you.

And not just as a friend. Because friends don’t treat friends this way.

Emily wants to tell you how she desperately wants to hold your hand especially when it’s cold so she could warm them up, to kiss your lips every time you bite them and every time you don’t, to hold you close when you need to be held, to arrange your hair when it’s turned into a mess.

But the anger and dejection bubbling in her chest take over instead when she hears how you describe yourself.

“How dare you.” Emily speaks in a monotone voice.

“What?” Your head turns to her, confused.

“How dare you call yourself disposable when all I ever wanted was you!” You are both caught off guard by her sudden outburst. All caution is gone now and Emily takes a deep breath in before continuing in a calmer but more desperate tone, “I see you, Y/N. I see you.”

“Em …”

“I see your fingers click when you’re uncomfortable. I see you watch sitcoms on your phone during breaks and once while Hotch was giving the team another talk. I see you care for others. You gave Garcia a unicorn mug just because it reminded you of her. You bring Morgan homemade lasagna when he told us he misses his mother’s cooking. You bought Reid the book he couldn’t find at the bookstore. You drink Rossi’s wine even when you hate it so he wouldn’t feel bad for offering. You fix Hotch’s ties when it’s messed up. For fuck’s sake, you always give me the last piece of pizza every damn time even when you’re still hungry! I see you talk to the victims’ families with so much love, care, and regret that you couldn’t prevent the crimes. I see your nose scrunch when you smell Morgan’s overwhelming perfume in the car. I see you grinding your teeth when you’re in deep thought.” Emily sighs, running out of breath. “The point is: I see you, Y/N.”

“Em …”

“It’s not your fault you don’t see me that way.” Emily walks out and closes the door behind her.

You hear the strain in her voice over and over in your head and it almost makes you want to jump over the ledge.

---

The past few days have been awkward to say the least.

Emily is clearly avoiding you. She gets coffee a little later than she used to just so you won’t meet at the break room. She sits far away from you during the briefings. When you were lying on the couch in the jet, she moved to the other end so you would be out of her sight. She doesn’t look you in the eye when you have to talk about the cases.

And truthfully, it hurts.

---

You walk into the bullpen and slouch in your chair. Spencer greets you and tells you about the book he’s reading and a fun fact about its author. You smile in acknowledgement but don’t say anything else.

Your eyes scan the room to look for the woman who sits on the desk in front of you.

“Emily’s in Boston for a conference.” Morgan says when he notices your eyes wandering the bullpen. “She might be gone for a few days.”

“Okay.” You lean back on your chair and open the reports you've been working on since yesterday.

It’s quiet, you realize, when Emily’s not around.

She’s the only one who frequently talks to you even when you’re both busy. She brings you coffee twice a day - one in the morning and one before going home - and she knows just how you like it with two teaspoons of sugar and three teaspoons of cream, not milk. She sends you online game invitations through your personal email so you can play them on your computers when Hotch isn’t looking. She sends you playlists based on your mood after each case.

You let out a deep sigh you have been holding back.

It’s awfully quiet when Emily is not around.

---

JJ moves out of your apartment. Derek and Spencer help her and Will with moving and driving to their new place. Will has relocated to be with JJ. Even from afar, you can sense that they’re happy about starting their family and being with each other.

You are happy for her. JJ deserves the whole world and Will gave it to her.

When they leave, you don’t waste time sitting around. You change your bedsheets and pillowcases and throw them in the washer. You vacuum the bedroom, then the living room and the room JJ stayed in. You wash all the dishes and rearrange everything in the drawers and cabinets. You throw all the leftover food from the fridge. You deep cleaned your entire home.

And it feels good.

You feel an overwhelming liberty when you finally sink in your bed, hugging your pillow, and it no longer smells like JJ.

---

Emily comes back from Boston a week later. It felt like months for you though.

You spot her sitting on Spencer’s desk beside Derek. She’s giving out souvenirs she got from her trip and they laugh about something Spencer said.

As you come near to your desk, Emily hasn’t glanced at you, not even once.

You settle down on your chair and it’s Derek who spins your chair around to face them.

“Emily’s got something for you.” He passes you a couple of button pins and a dark green mug with BOSTON printed on it.

“Thanks.” You say.

“Tell her, not me.” He stands up and squeezes Spencer’s shoulders. “Let’s go, pretty boy.”

“Where?” Although confused, Spencer still follows him.

That leaves you and Emily just a desk away from each other.

“How’s Boston?” You finally ask. You couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Uh, the conference?”

“Boston was humid. The conference was boring.” Emily answers. You see her pick her nails and your hand hovers her hand. She instantly stops. “You’ve been busy?”

You shake your head. “It’s honestly refreshing to not have a case for a while. It’s better than finding dead bodies for breakfast.”

“It is.” Emily agrees.

Then, it gets quiet again. Emily is refusing to look you in the eye while you are hopelessly trying to get her to.

You can’t do this anymore.

You can’t stand having Emily so close and tiptoeing around the thing you need to talk to her about.

“I bought scrabble.” You blurt out. You don’t know why you said that.

Emily raises an eyebrow. “You bought scrabble?”

“Y - yeah. I did.”

“Okay …”

“Do you want to play?” Emily stares at you. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just … I’m inviting you. If you’re not busy and have nothing to do, that is. I - I -”

“Y/N, breathe.” Emily chuckles. “Are you inviting me over?”

You exhale loudly. “Yes. Yes, I am.” You puff out your chest to gain some resolve. “Do you want to come over tonight? Uh, 8pm?”

You finally meet her eye to eye. Dark brown orbs meeting yours. You’re instantly weak at how soft and gentle she’s looking at you.

“I’d love that.” Emily replies.

---

You leave work earlier than you’re supposed to. You tell Hotch about needing it for personal time. He didn’t pry and let you go, only reminding you that you need to be early tomorrow.

“You going home?” Derek asks when he bumps into you at the elevator.

“Yes, I might have a date.”

“Might?”

“I’m really not sure what it is. I’ll find out. Gotta go!” You press the elevator button to the basement, walking back and forth inside the elevator.

You haven’t thought this all the way through. What the hell were you thinking asking Emily Prentiss over to your apartment? Your fridge is literally empty aside from your stash of electrolyte drinks.

Then, it clicks. You can think when you shop for food. You need to buy groceries.

---

You end up buying a lot more than you can carry.

When you got everything sorted out, you open your ipad to search for recipes. You’re not entirely sure what Emily would enjoy and frankly, you’re just winging it, hoping that whatever you might end up cooking would be good enough for her.

You lay out the scrabble board on the center table in the living room. You also prepared nachos and homemade salsa dip and laid it next to the board game.

When the doorbell rings, you make a startled jump. You peek at the peephole and see Emily standing outside, hands in the pockets of her coat.

“Hi,” you say as soon as you open the door. “Come in.”

“You have -” Emily brushes her thumb against your cheek to wipe the sauce off your face. She licks her thumb. “Salsa dip?”

“Guilty. Let me get changed. I just finished cooking.”

“Okay.” Emily’s eyes follow you to your room. She laughs lightly when she hears you curse because your foot caught a shoe and stumbled.

---

You and Emily sit across from each other at the dining table.

“This looks delicious, Y/N.”

“Let’s only hope it tastes as delicious as it looks.”

Emily hums in approval upon tasting the shrimp pasta you made. “Are you sure you’re not a chef?” She teases.

“You have homemaderecipes.com to thank for that.” You giggle.

The dinner went better than you could imagine. Emily complimented the dishes you made, hinting that you’re trying to make her gain weight with how many dishes you made just for tonight. In your defense, you like being prepared and having options in case she has food allergies.

Emily insists on helping you with the dishes and putting the leftovers on tupperwares. You tell her she’s a guest and she didn’t have to. But you know better than to argue with her.

“Did you rearrange your kitchen?” Emily asks after opening every drawer and cabinet trying to figure out where everything goes.

“I did. When JJ moved out.”

Emily doesn’t say anything. She places the last fork on the drawer.

“I cleaned up everything after she left.” You continue. You’re waiting for Emily’s response but it doesn’t come. “I changed the sheets and vacuumed.”

Emily is leaning against the countertop, holding the glass of soda she has yet to drink.

“There’s no trace of her left here.” You say confidently.

“Y/N,” Emily murmurs. “I don’t want to be your rebound.”

Your head snaps fast and you stare at her with terrified eyes. “No, Emily, no.” You move closer to her, just enough to not invade her personal space. “It’s not what I want.”

“Good because neither do I.”

“When JJ left, I cleaned the entire house. I rearranged everything, I’m not even sure where everything goes exactly right now.” Emily listens to you intently. “And I didn’t feel sad when there were no traces of her left behind.”

Emily looks at you with a much softer, more hopeful expression on her face. She hopes that you won’t crush the tiny little hope that she’s holding on to.

“I just felt … free.” You continue. “And when I saw them walking to their car, Will had his hand on her belly and I felt genuinely happy for them.” You start to pace back and forth at the kitchen aisle. “But then, this past week without you, I realized that it’s quiet.”

“Quiet?”

“It was too quiet that I could hear myself and Spencer next to me thinking. And you know how he thinks a lot.” You continue your pace, hands flailing uncontrollably at times. “Then I kept seeing the empty space in your desk.”

“Y/N, you make it sound like I left you.” Emily lets out a scoff.

“I mean, I can’t blame you if you did but the thing is: I see it now.”

“See what?”

“You.”

You stop.

Emily stares.

There’s a long pause and though it may be silent, it isn’t awkward at all. Something shifted in the air, you could feel it.

You speak again, “I see your smile light up the room when I come in to work. You didn’t do it as much when I started arriving with JJ. I didn’t tell you how much I missed it. You have always been so welcoming of me, making sure I’m comfortable. You always ask for my insights when I wasn’t confident to share them with the rest of the team. You always make sure I have water and candies in the backseat when we’re investigating. You saved me that one time a police officer tried to hit on me. You leave aspirin on my table when you see me rubbing my head when I get migraines. You know the little things that mean so much to me.” You sigh, shoulders falling. “I see it now, Emily.”

Emily wipes the tear that fell to her cheek.

You take Emily’s hands and grip them, making sure she feels the intensity of sincerity radiating in your body. “And, I think, by now, it’s a reflex that I’d go looking for you in a room full of people.” You tell her. “I’m sorry it had to take not seeing you to actually see you.”

Emily pulls you into a hug. She wraps her arms around your neck and you hear her sobs. You tighten your arm around her waist, giving everything you had to that hug.

Because this, right here, is an entire universe you’re holding.

You stay like that for what felt like an eternity.

Emily is the first one to pull away. She places a hand on your cheek, caressing your face. “We’re going to do this right.”

“We’ll take it slow.” You agree. “We’ll go on dates.”

She nods. “That we will do, Y/N.”

---

It took a month for you and Emily to memorize where things are in your kitchen. Not only that but she has made herself comfortable knowing where everything is in your apartment.

You learn about hers as well.

She has invited you to her place more than a few times over. Her air freshener smells like lavender. Her lamp lights are always cool and never warm, she says it hurts her eyes. Her bathroom reeks of luxurious bath bombs especially during the weekend. She likes having dark curtains in her bedroom and light ones in the living room.

Emily adores Sergio. She has a whole list of reminders about him - his feeding time, vaccination dates, neuter date, etc. - stuck on the refrigerator door.

Emily also doesn’t have framed pictures of anyone at her place but as of two days ago, she has one on her bedside table - a photograph of you and her sharing ice cream from one of your dates.

---

It takes another month when you tackle Emily, your hands protecting her head before you both fall to the ground. The UnSub was taking a shot at her but you got her just in time. You watch Derek and Hotch go after the UnSub, leaving you and Emily on the muddy ground.

“Em, are you okay?” You muffle under your breath.

“I’m good, I’m good.” Emily sits up and checks on you. Her face instantly turns pale when she sees blood flowing on your left arm. “Y/N, you’re bleeding.”

“It’s not that deep.” Emily takes off her FBI vest then her coat. She uses it to put pressure into your wound to stop the bleeding. Curses of different languages leave your lips.

Emily calls an ambulance. She doesn't leave your side on the whole way to the hospital. She waits as the doctor and nurses finish patching you up.

“How’s Y/N?” Hotch asks Emily when he arrives at the hospital with the rest of the team.

“I’m still waiting for an update. She’s still in the ER. Probably getting some stitches.” Emily says, biting a nail.

Spencer puts a hand on Emily’s shoulder to calm her down.

---

The doctor says recovery will take at least two weeks. You wear an arm sling and are stuck at a desk job for the meantime. You don’t hate it. And even if you weren’t a tech genius like Penelope, she is fun and entertaining to be around during case consultations.

But every time the team leaves, your heart sinks knowing Emily might fall into another danger. You worry about all of them, of course, but Emily …

It’s five months later that you’re in the unit chief’s office talking about your budding relationship with a coworker.

Emily has your heart and you will wreak havoc if something happens to her. You wish the universe won’t test you.

---

Emily is sitting on the opposite chair. Hotch is behind his desk.

“I can’t say I’m surprised.” Hotch tells the both of you. “I’ll have HR send me the files that you need to sign. It won’t be complicated.”

“Are you sure none of us needs to be transferred?” You ask him again, scared that the answer might change.

“I’ll make sure of it. You’re both an asset to this unit and it would be a damn shame if we lose either one of you.”

You and Emily can finally breathe.

“Thank you, sir.” Emily says.

“Thank you. I promise this won’t affect anything, especially work.” You tell your boss.

Hotch nods. “It hasn’t, so far, and we’ve known for months.”

You choke on air upon seeing Hotch’s smug smile.

“You’d literally take a bullet for her, Y/N.”

“Which I told her was stupid and reckless.” Emily adds.

Maybe you and Emily aren’t so subtle after all.

---

It’s a year later when you and Emily are throwing a housewarming party. The team arrives one by one. Spencer brings you an espresso machine. Derek hands Emily a toolkit in all pink; he gets a jab on the shoulder from Emily. You happily accept Penelope’s cheese board set. Hotch sets up the money tree he bought by the door. Rossi brings white and red wine for dinner. Will, JJ and little Henry arrive last. Will is carrying their son on his arm while JJ brings out their gifts.

“I come bearing gifts,” JJ announces.

She bought a lot of healthy and unhealthy snacks for you and Emily but the personalized cushion for Sergio with I Love My Moms embroidered in it is your favorite. You excitedly show it to your cat and he immediately lies on it.

“It’s Sergio approved!” You squeal.

JJ takes a picture of Sergio enjoying her gift.

“Hi, little buddy!” Emily takes Henry to her arms, cooing the little boy. “God, you’re heavy.”

“You’re a big boy now, aren’t you, Henry?” You slightly pinch his cheeks. “What are you feeding this kid? He grows up so fast.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me I will cry.” JJ chuckles.

Everyone gathers on the table. You and Emily have one rule during the dinner though: No Work Talk.

Rossi compliments your pasta and you thank him. Emily opens the red wine that Rossi brought tonight.

The rest of the night goes better than expected. You have no idea why you and Emily were ever nervous about hosting.

When everybody left and everything was cleaned up, you and Emily found yourselves cuddling in your bed.

Yours and Emily’s bed.

“I love you,” you whisper against her chest. Your fingers are fidgeting on the button of her pajama shirt.

Emily’s eyes widened. Everything stops and her heart feels like it’s going a hundred miles per hour.

“I know this is the first time I said it,” you say, hearing how fast her heartbeat is going against your ear. “But I have felt it for a long time now.”

Emily pulls you closer to her, leaving a kiss on your forehead. “I love you too.”

Whatever the future holds, you’ll be fine as long as she’s in it. Everything finally feels good and right in the world.

Because Emily Prentiss loves you.

And you love her.

#jaye writes #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss angst #jennifer jareau x reader #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n #jennifer jareau x you #jennifer jareau x y/n

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bvckleyydiaz · 11 months

Text

hottie hotchner - aaron hotchner

title: hottie hotchner

summary: during a conversation with your team, you let it slip that you find your boss very attractive. little did you know that said boss could hear every sordid detail.

pairing: aaron hotchner x f!reader

word count: 856

warning(s): it gets a little suggestive towards the end but nothing too explicit

a/n: i honestly didn’t think i would finish this as fast as i did. hope you guys enjoy this round’s winner of pick my next fic!

When you accepted the position for Administrative Liaison for the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, you definitely had some reservations about what the agents would be like. Most of the jobs that you’ve had were assistant jobs, and it’s safe to say that you had encountered your fair share of asshole bosses along the way.

That being said, the agents of the BAU were nothing at all like you expected. You walk into the building on your first day, and you are greeted by a taller, slender blonde woman. She reaches her hand out with a warm smile. A smile that says she’s genuinely excited for you to be there. “You must be Y/N. I’m Agent Jennifer Jareau of the Behavioral Analysis Unit.” You shake her hand. “But you can call me JJ.”

You return her smile and let go of her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, JJ.”

“Follow me, and I’ll introduce you to the rest of our team.”

You nod, and she leads you through glass double doors and a maze of desks that she calls the bullpen. The two of you go up a small staircase to a conference room with a circular table, and six heads turn when she opens the door. Sitting around the table are a tall, lanky man with brown hair that curls just below his ears, a taller, bald man with biceps that look as big as your head, a brightly-colored blonde woman holding a remote, a dark-haired woman with an air of confidence that could tear apart your entire being before even blinking, an older man that exudes a grandfatherly energy, and… oh. You stop at the last person–a man that looks just a bit older than you with dark hair and eyes that could bring you to your knees without having to ask.

“Guys,” JJ starts. “This is Y/N, and she is our new Administrative Liaison.”

You hold up your hand and do a shy, awkward wave. “Hi.”

JJ points to the lanky man and goes from left to right introducing everyone to you. “This is Spencer, Derek, Penelope, Emily, Rossi, and our Unit Chief, Hotch.”

Unit Chief? That means… Christ, you haven’t even gotten to your second day yet, and you already want to fuck your boss.

Hotch stands and holds his hand out to you much like JJ did, his smile a lot more understated than hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

His hands are warm. “Thank you, sir.”

He turns to the rest of the team. “Alright, let’s get started.”

–

It takes a little while to get used to your new job, but you soon find your footing and nestle into the spot the team–your team–has created for you. The eight of you have become like a family. A big, dysfunctional family. You trust each other with your lives and your deepest, darkest secrets.

That is the only way you can explain how you ended up in this predicament.

“Hotch?” Derek asks, his face a mix of confusion and surprise. “Really, pretty girl? Hotch?”

You narrow your eyes the tiniest bit at him. “What’s wrong with Hotch?”

“Nothing’s wrong with Hotch, sweets,” Penelope amends. “We just… weren’t expecting him to be your answer.”

“Yeah. We thought you would go for someone a little closer to your age.” Derek points at Spencer. “Like Pretty Boy.”

You shake your head. “I have a type, and as much as I adore Spencer, he is not it.”

“And Hotch is your type?”

You nod. “He’s a DILF. I like DILFs.”

Emily nearly spits the water she’d just taken a sip of out of her nose. “Oh, my God. Never say that again.”

“Never once in my days of working here did I ever think that I would hear Hotch and DILF in the same sentence,” JJ says.

“Neither did I,” says a voice from behind you. Fuck my life. You turn and come face to face with none other than your boss and the aforementioned DILF.

“Hotch,” you breathe.

He points over his shoulder at his office door. “My office.”

Hanging your head, you nod. “Yes, sir.”

The two of you head up to his office, and once the door is locked and the blinds are closed, he turns to face you. “Y/N, we talked about this,” Hotch says, sighing.

You shrug like you see no problem with the situation. “What was I supposed to say? You are a DILF, Aaron.”

His stony facade drops and a shy smile pulls at his lips. “I just didn’t expect you to say that, especially in front of the team.”

You bring your arms up and wrap them loosely around your boyfriend’s neck. “Blame Derek. He asked.”

A laugh bubbles out of him, and he leans down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you tell him. “You know, for a group of highly-skilled profilers, they still haven’t figured out we’re together yet.”

“I’m sure they will,” he tells you before moving his lips to your neck. “Especially after tonight.”

Your only response is a giggle.

#e posts #e writes #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader

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hotchs-big-hands · 7 months

Text

The Slaughterhouse

Aaron Hotchner x plus-size fem!reader part 1 5.3k words

Minors dni please

Warning(s): VERY DARK, graphic murder description, injury, gore, blood, fatphobia, extreme angst (with a happy ending), sort-of enemies to lovers, kidnapping, torture, references to SA, derogatory nsfw comments. Oh and I use the word fat because I personally reclaimed it to not rly insult me as it is merely a descriptive word. I do not use it in an insulting way even once in the series.

Please heed the warnings, this series is going to be dark asf. No smut in this series tho.

An escalating string of gruesomely murdered fat women begin to stack up with no end in sight. What started as an unfortunate routine case for the BAU team, takes a disturbing turn as you become entangled in the unsub's web, danger approaching closer and closer. It's only a matter of time before it's too late to bring the madness to an end.

Hiiiii everyone! I'm really happy to start my new series! It's a vast departure from my previous series lol but I hope you all enjoy regardless! As stated tho in the warnings it's gonna get dark so feel free to skip if you're not comfortable! But if you'd like to be tagged then please let me know! Happy reading 💖💖💖

A thin trail of red tinged water trickled down into the drain, not quite blending together more so than the red slowly spread out in the clear liquid like drops of crimson ink.

"Has Pen got a cute bandaid I could use, you think?" You asked the woman beside you as you rinsed a papercut you'd gained from the insultingly tall stack of paperwork on your desk. The woman, Emily Prentiss, shrugged slightly, tussling her silky, black hair.

"Maybe. I'll text her and ask."

"Thanks."

It didn't take long for the door to the women's restroom to burst open, almost slamming into the wall as a frantic Penelope Garcia rushed over to you, a pink first aid kit in her bejewelled hands.

"I'm here, I'm here! Nurse Garcia to the rescue!!" She cried, her blonde curls bouncing with every step. You chuckled at her as Emily stepped out of the way.

"Thank goodness, I was really starting to have second thoughts about my survival rate here."

Penelope was quick to spring into action, setting the kit down and upon opening it she retrieved an antiseptic wipe.

"Give me your hand, I'm going to clean the area." She instructed, eyes a little narrowed as she began to concentrate. You winced slightly when the antiseptic stung a little, but soon you were sporting an adorable pink bandaid with a Hello Kitty pattern on it. You held your hand out to admire it with a grin.

"Thanks so much, Pen!"

The ditzy blonde woman smiled.

"You are so welcome, my lovely."

"Come on, we need to head back to the bullpen before somebody notices we disappeared." Emily said pointedly, glancing at Penelope who returned the look. You grimaced slightly and took the empty bandaid wrapper to shove in the trashcan under your desk.

"Yeah true, we should go before I end up with another stack of paperwork." You muttered, heading towards the door and pulling it towards you. That somebody was none other than your up-tight, impersonal boss and unit chief Aaron Hotchner. Well, impersonal with you that is.

Your time in the BAU had only been a mere year, but it was long enough to form relationships with your coworkers. Whenever possible, you attended ladies' nights with Penelope, Emily and the only other woman in the BAU; Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau, spent time with the ever charmer Derek Morgan whilst he worked on his house projects and happily listened to the young Doctor Spencer Reid as he spoke extensively about chemistry or some sort of engineering related topic. Hell, sometimes you even offered an ear to the oldest member of the team; David Rossi, discussing his passion for cooking and other such things from his life.

But no matter what you tried, there was no breaking down the walls around Aaron Hotchner and at this point you'd begun to stop trying. And it hurt like hell. Not because he was your boss, you didn't care so much about that, but because you happened to like him very much. Probably too much even. He was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Even now you couldn't stop yourself from letting your eyes wander over to glance at him, to take in his tall stature and handsomely seasoned features. And you knew he had a kind and loving side to him as well from the interactions you'd witnessed between him and your coworkers. But the same couldn't be said for you. He never offered that olive branch to you, never spoke to you besides work related discussion when on cases. Hell, you basically knew nothing of his son besides the snippets the others had told you of the elusive boy. Not from Agent Hotchner, but from Emily, Derek, Penny...

There was no way of saying it didn't sting, because it did very much so. And it had been this way right from when you walked through the door per section chief Erin Strauss' recommendation. Your interview was tense between yourself, Hotchner and Rossi with the two of them seemingly being in disagreement about you. Rossi, on one hand, was adamant about your capabilities and of what you would bring to the team, whereas your now boss was reluctant. Nitpicky. Wanting to find something to use to keep you from the position in the team. And when he realised you were officially in the team on your first day, walking into the bullpen with your slightly busted brown box of desk essentials and trinkets, was when the walls were raised to impenetrable heights.

Sighing quietly, you returned to the bullpen, fingers of your uninjured hand fiddling with the balled up wrapper. Your eyes flicked to the familiar windowed office above the main desk area. The blinds were open. He no doubt knew yourself and Emily had disappeared for a short while. You scowled a little to yourself. What did it matter? As long as you got your work completed all the same then it didn't matter if you were at your desk the whole day or not. And it didn't matter what he thought, or if he even did take notice of your absence or if he knew why you were gone. Or if he worried over you. It didn't matter, you told yourself.

"Hey sweet thing, what's that frown for, huh?" You blinked as you were brought to the present by the voice of your friend Derek Morgan. You turned in your chair to face him with a sheepish grin.

"Oh, I'm just annoyed I got a papercut. Like are you kidding me?" You said humourously and the dark skinned man laughed, his teeth gleaming under the artificial office lights.

"Aww I'm sorry, did you accidentally touch these abs or something?" His eyes were shining mischievously now and you rolled your own with a scoff.

"Yeah yeah, you wish. The culprit was this pile of paperwork though."

In response, Derek formed a heart shape with his hands, only to break it when he moved his hands away from one another, pouting sadly as he slumped back in his chair. You giggled quietly and rolled your eyes before you returned your attention to the casefiles on your desk. But it wasn't long before you spotted the colourfully dressed Penny again as she rushed towards your unit chief's office, meaning there was a case about to unfold. You eyed your coworkers, who returned the glance, then automatically made a move to close the casefile you had open on your desk and added it to the paper tower. You rose from your seat just as the office door swung open again and Penny reappeared with Hotch behind her. As she made her way to the conference room the tall man leaned over the walkway in the direction of your colleagues and yourself.

"We have a case. Be in the conference room in 2 minutes." He said curtly, eyes flicking between each face. They lingered on you for a moment, brows pulled together in a deep frown, then moved away as he followed the blonde woman. Over time you'd come to understand that look; this case was bad. Very bad.

JJ was already in the conference room when you trailed in behind Reid, Rossi following behind you and closing the door as the last person in the room. You took a seat near the far side of the round table from the doorway, Emily moving to sit on your left. Your eyes drifted around the room, brows furrowing very slightly when you couldn't find the unit chief in his usual position at the table. The chair beside you made a sound as it was pulled out and to your horror you realised none other than Derek Morgan had taken Hotch's seat, which meant...

You heard Aaron Hotchner clear his throat to your right as he shifted to get comfortable in the chair, the leather squeaking beneath his weight. You didn't dare look his way, instead turning your head to Emily with a slightly skittish look in your eyes. To your horror she was already looking at you, a devilish smirk battling its way on her face.

"You okay there, (L/n)?" She asked sweetly. You scoffed.

"Always am."

You could have sworn you heard the man beside you draw in a sharp breath.

"Let's get started." He said in his smooth, deep voice.

JJ had laid out the casefiles for everyone to look at, but as you reached forward to grab your copy a tanned, hairy hand gently grasped your wrist. You flinched, body turning to the culprit as none other than your boss. He stared back, brows furrowed deeply and his emotions guarded.

"Careful."

You knew all eyes were on the two of you, the burn of the stares was almost unbearable, like fire ants crawling all over you. And then Penelope cleared her throat, ending the moment. Hotch retracted his hand from your wrist carefully and you turned your attention to the two blonde women about to present the case.

It became very apparent almost immediately why your boss was hesitant for you to open your casefile.

You had seen all manner of depravity in this field of work. And while you didn't exactly enjoy seeing the bodies of victims, even the most gruesome crimes didn't really affect you as much as they used to. But what you didn't expect was seeing the horribly mutilated corpses of women, women who had a common similarity with you. Every single one was fat like you. Well, as best as you could tell through the extent of the mutilations to the bodies. With the side-by-side comparison of the photos of the victims as they were alive and happy, their cheerful smiles besides the butchered bodies was... difficult. Hell, you could effortlessly imagine a photo of yourself alongside theirs with how similar their bodies were to yours.

The voices of your colleagues around you seemed distant as your eyes read the current details of the case. Over the course of 4 months, seven women of varied ethnicities, between the ages of 19 and 25, had all been found dumped naked in a variety of locations in a large town in Texas. Their bodies were butchered and there was evidence of violent sexual assault. A chilling detail was each victim had had their blood drained entirely. You couldn't stop your eyes from drifting back to the photos of their faces.

"(L/n)?"

You blinked, looking up to see who had spoken. All eyes were on you, causing you to wince slightly.

"Yeah?"

Beside you, Emily placed her hand on your arm.

"You alright?" She asked quietly. You were quiet for a moment.

"Oh, yeah I'm... fine. I was just reading the details." You managed to murmur.

"Any thoughts so far?" Rossi cut in, staring at you intently.

"Mhm, this killer holds a lot of resentment towards fat women from the way they've sliced and butchered their bodies. The blood draining is a bit unusual, however I don't think it's for ritualistic purposes."

"What do you suspect it to be about?" JJ spoke. You narrowed your eyes a little as you thought about it.

"I'm... not sure. Maybe there isn't a purpose other than to get rid of the mess."

Beside you, the leather of the chair Hotch sat on creaked under his movement when he closed his copy of the casefile and pushed away from the table.

"We'll continue to discuss theories on the plane. For now, get yourselves ready to go. Wheels up in thirty." He concluded and stood up from his seat, everyone else following along. You closed your file and made a move to follow behind Emily, when the familiar touch of Hotch's hand grasped your wrist gently again. "(L/n), a word."

Helplessly, you watched everyone file out of the room and you sighed gently. His hand dropped away and as you glanced down at your feet you could feel his scrutinizing stare.

"I need you to remain by my side for this case." He said bluntly.

"Huh?"

You frowned at him. This certainly wasn't what you thought he was going to say. You watched as his brow creased.

"I want to keep an eye on you."

What? You blinked at him.

"Why's that, sir? I don't quite follow."

"I don't want to be insensitive but you have seen the victims the unsub targeted. I just want to make sure you're safe." Hotch explained in as gentle of a way he had ever spoken to you. Oh... You swallowed thickly and nodded once.

"I see. Uh, well I appreciate it, sir. I should be okay though, I have you all around me after all."

It was your boss' turn to frown now, evidently displeased with your response. But he didn't push it, picking his casefile off the table and fixing his watch around his wrist.

"If you insist. But I don't approve of this though."

You nodded and cleared your throat, following him as he stalked out of the conference room. As he made a right turn towards his office, you continued forward until you were with the others again. JJ was the first to break the air of curiosity.

"What did Hotch want?" She asked you as she checked she had everything she needed in her go bag. You sighed and crossed over to your desk.

"Said he wants me to stay by his side, given the nature of what we're dealing with."

"And are you doing that?" Derek asked, eyeing you pointedly. You shook your head.

"I don't really want to have to hang back from working on this case as much as I intend on doing so."

Emily lightly nudged you when she approached your desk, her bag slung over one shoulder.

"Maybe he has a point though." She offered but you scrunched your nose up.

"I also don't really feel like spending the whole time with someone who acts like I'm as worthy of their time as a plank of rotting wood would be." You muttered to yourself as you shoved the casefile in your bag, missing the uncomfortable shared glances of your team mates when the subject of your conversation approached the group.

You felt Emily nudge you again and you straightened up, sealing your bag shut.

"Alright, alright I'm ready to go n..ow..." she wasn't looking at you, you realised, and your body tensed when you heard him speak.

"Let's head out." Agent Hotchner said roughly and turned to leave, face sour. Damn, you strongly hoped he hadn't heard you just now but judging from his expression you knew he must have done. Sighing softly, you picked your bag up and swung it over your shoulder. And followed behind the others to head to the airport. It was never a good idea to start a case off with conflict.

Work began immediately when the team met up with the Police department in Memphis, with everyone splitting up to take care of different tasks. Much to your relief, Hotch had teamed you up with Derek to visit the bar the latest victim had been last seen before her disappearance and murder. Despite the time in the day it was rowdy inside, a significant hum of conversation ever present as the two of you navigated around to interview staff and patrons. So far, there had been no luck though with finding any information on whoever was responsible for the crimes.

As your eyes drifted around the room they settled on a young woman who had just entered the bar. She stood around five feet six inches tall with dyed red curls which ended around her shoulders and her figure was similar to your own, albeit slightly bigger. Someone the unsub would target, you thought to yourself bitterly. Her eyes found you and she nervously approached you, gaze darting around. Nudging Derek subtly, you met the girl halfway across the bar. She was shaking.

"Hey, I'm agent (Y/n) (L/n) and this is agent Derek Morgan of the FBI. Are you alright?" You asked her gently and she cleared her throat.

"You're... you're investigating the murders, aren't you?" Her voice was quiet. You nodded and brought your hands up to take hold of her arms.

"I understand it's very frightening right now, but we're here to do whatever we can to find this person."

Derek eyed the young woman, gaze sincere but analysing.

"Do you have anyone of note who could be a person of interest?" He questioned her. Her eyes flitted to him.

"I... I'm not sure. There's a lot of people who treat us badly," She shifted around, folding her arms close to her body. "J-just five months ago there was a girl who got- um, assaulted because she rejected someone. She was like us, a bigger woman."

Derek's frown deepened.

"Is there records of the assault?"

She shook her head.

"Only of her initial report and visit to the hospital. She was um, too scared to say who it was." She scrunched her eyes shut for a second and shuddered. "H-her name was Amelia Dougherty."

A coldness sunk deep within your abdomen and you fought off the twitch of your lower lip. That was the first victim found dead four months ago. You offered a gentle squeeze of her arms.

"What's your name, lovey?" You said sweetly, feeling the young woman relax under your touch slightly.

"Carla. Carla Reynolds, ma'am."

Your thumbs soothingly brushed against her arms, hopeful she took it as encouragement.

"Well, Carla. I want to thank you for talking to us today. Right now though I need you to head home, protect yourself. Try your best not to go out and about alone if you can help it, yeah?" You instructed her and she nodded.

"Okay..."

With one last squeeze, you let go of her and smiled faintly. Beside you, Derek slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small rectangle of card.

"If you think of anything or see anything suspicious, call my number. Thank you for your time, Miss Reynolds." He said politely, but not unkindly and you both watched as she quickly left the bar. You exhaled softly and turned to the man beside you.

"We certainly know the possible trigger that started this whole murder spree." You murmured. The man beside you nodded and pulled his phone from his pocket with the intention to make a call.

"We'll head back to the station with what we know. I'm gonna ask Garcia for any files on assault reports within the last few months before the murders." He said as he pressed his phone to his ear.

"Sure, I'll just have one last sweep around."

As the man turned to make a call, you let your eyes drift around the room again to analyse everyone. None seemed to stand out, nor were there any other larger women around at this point. Distantly, you could hear Derek chatting lightly to Penny on the other end of the line but you paid little mind to it. But as you turned around to make your way outside a flurry of people entered the bar and, as a consequence, someone bumped into you and caused you to stumble.

"Hey! Watch it, man!" You heard your companion snap, but whoever it was had long since disappeared into the crowd. You sighed and fixed your clothing.

"It's fine, Der. We have more important things to focus on right now anyway."

You could tell from the expression on Derek's face that he was reluctant to let this drop, but he didn't challenge you. And at this point he had finished the call anyway, so without any further delay the two of you headed outside to drive back to the station.

There were no patterns between any of the assault victims from before the murders. All were a much wider range of women, a wider age range, varying body types and there was a multitude of perpetrators committing these assaults as opposed to one, who was suspected to be acting alone committing the murders. And this didn't even include male victims either. The first day of the case was chalking up to being a frustrating dead-end.

Standing in front of the whiteboard that was covered in tacked on pictures and scrawled out notes, you rubbed a hand over your face as you felt your brain turn into cotton in your skull. It was then you felt a presence beside you, causing you to stiffen slightly.

"Got anything?" You heard the soft, deep rumble of Hotch's voice. You exhaled. As you glanced to your side you realised how close to one another you were and the scent of his cologne hit your senses. It made your head feel a bit fuzzy.

"Other than what we already have, no. Maybe just theories on why the unsub picked out these women in particular." You murmured.

"Let's talk about them."

You turned to him with a slight nod, eyes reluctant to leave the board.

"Well, the photographs; the body language suggests a lot of discomfort. The women don't really like being the centre of attention. They're insecure." You began, motioning to the pictures of the victims from when they were still alive. "The unsub will have taken advantage of this, approaching the women in clubs and bars to flirt with them."

Hotch hummed, his focus entirely on you.

"It would seem likely, yes."

"But why go with the guy if they were so insecure?" A different voice chimed into the conversation, causing the two of you to turn. Behind you, Spencer stared with a furrowed brow and you sighed gently.

"If you're in a position where you've never had anyone show interest in you, or at least never seem genuine about it, it really messes with your self esteem. So having someone spend time with you flirting with you will inevitably cause you to drop your defense a bit. Because, well, you've never experienced this before." You turned to the board again and grabbed one of the markers to write some notes down. "With this I can only imagine the unsub is definitely above average in attractiveness but not so much to the point where the victims wouldn't trust their supposed interest."

"Most likely in the late twenties to early thirties. But we'll continue the profile with fresh eyes in the morning." Hotch said and he motioned to address the others. "We should stop for the night and check in to the hotel. We'll be up early in the morning."

There was a mutual sound of agreement from your colleagues but before you could say anything more to your unit chief, he was walking away briskly and pulling his phone out of his pocket to seemingly make a call. He never seemed to linger around you more than what was required of him. You puffed out a breath and capped the pen in your hand again before setting it down. To your left, you were aware of Emily approaching you.

"Sooo..." She began and you huffed.

"Oh, don't start."

"I didn't say anything!"

With a scowl you turned to her, noting the grin she was trying desperately to fend off. You folded your arms.

"Don't be sly with me, dumbass." You spat and she chuckled.

"You know I don't mean any ill-will. Just wondering how you're getting on."

You scoffed.

"Yeah, yeah sure you are."

"Well, I'm sure it's not easy working beside the man you're definitely not interested in!"

A tired grumble left you as you crossed the room to grab your casefile.

“Girl, we are literally trying to solve a serial murder case right now. I got no time to be thinking about anything but this.”

Emily chuckled and leaned her weight onto her hand braced on the table in the centre of the room.

“I know you’re struggling hard not to think about him though.”

You jabbed her with your elbow and scowled at her.

“That’s enough out of you. Now come on, we’re done for the day.” You said and tucked the manila folder under your arm, not missing the little chuckle from the raven haired woman. Once everyone was ready to depart, you found yourself in the same car as the girls and Reid, sitting in the back as you scrolled through your phone. There was a group chat you all used, originally created for strictly case related situations, but with Garcia around there was no way it was going to remain professional for long. And so now it was a mix of light-hearted conversation and sharing as well as more serious messages. The aforementioned had sent a series of messages in response to knowing you were all retiring for the night and you idly sent your own, typically the one to try and send things that would bring a smile to everyone’s faces. The lights from distant buildings and streetlamps would occasionally light up the interior of the car, illuminating your grip on your phone and the face of Reid sitting beside you in the back seat.

Before long, you had reached your destination following behind the car Derek, Rossi and Hotch were in. After parking up, you all grabbed your bags and trailed in behind the two eldest members of the team as they strode towards the reception desk. After a few minutes, the remainder of you decided to take up the couches in the foyer, realising Hotch and Rossi were taking longer than you thought to sort out the rooms. This was not a good sign, only further proven when they turned to the group, mild agitation on their faces. You sighed.

“Oh no, they don’t look too happy, do they?” You mumbled to Derek, leaning towards him. He chuckled.

“No, they do not. I can only imagine what that means.”

And soon enough the situation was brought to light.

“There was a mishap with the booking and there’s no longer enough rooms for one each,” Hotch said flatly, his shoulders slumped and his jaw clenched. “We’ll have to double up.”

Shit. Your eyes flicked to Emily immediately and your heart jolted upon realising she was staring at you with a widening grin. Oh no.

She pushed up off the couch and grabbed her bag, throwing the strap over her shoulder.

“Let’s go, JJ.” She declared and the blonde woman’s head shot up, gaze switching between the two of you. And much to your dismay, she too stood up and followed Emily to grab their room keys.

“Sure.”

Your eyes drifted towards Derek and Reid, feeling slightly hopeful knowing Derek didn’t often enjoy sharing with the young doctor. It startled you when he winked at you, then dragged the wild-haired man to stand up with him.

“C’mon, pretty boy. It’s you and me now.”

Reid seemingly had nothing to say, his brow crooked as slight confusion settled in. Now all that remained was the last two eldest members. Slowly, you turned to look at the eldest.

“...Rossi?”

“Actually, you’ll be sharing with me.” the man beside him spoke, drawing your attention. Hotch eyed you carefully, his brows pulled together slightly. You swallowed.

“I could always take the single room..?” you offered weakly.

“No, I would feel more at ease if you were sharing.”

Rossi raised his brows as he sniffed loudly, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

“And I need my peace and quiet, so I will take the single.” he said and before you could protest the seasoned agent spun on his heel and retreated towards the elevators.

You sighed gently, slowly rising to your feet and awkwardly approaching Hotch.

“Okay… I guess that leaves us then.”

“Yes. If you don’t mind.” he said, brows pulled together. You held your tongue.

“I don’t.”

With a slight nod, he turned away to find the elevators and you quickly followed, pattering after him with your go-bag held at your side. Hotch reached the elevators quickly, holding the doors open for you then pressing the number for your floor. The ride up was silent, painfully so and despite being less than a minute long it felt as though the seconds had been dragged out to an hour long. Tiredly, you dumped your bag in front of you, eyes wandering around the steel walls around you the longer the ride took. Should you speak? You had no idea, unsure what to even say to the man. As though feeling the same discomfort, Hotch cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to another in the empty space the both of you were in. The chime of the elevator stopping to open its doors startled you, blinking a few times at the sound.

As you turned your attention to your bag, Hotch’s hand appeared in view and briskly grabbed the handles of your bag and picked it up. You gasped, looking up at him and realising he was watching you. You drew in a sharp breath.

“Um, thanks.”

“Mhm.”

Once again, he held the elevator door open with his elbow, his hands full with your bag and his. You didn’t comment on it, instead smiling sheepishly and uttering another ‘thank you’ as you passed him. He led the way again, stalking down the carpeted corridor until he stopped in front of a random door. He placed the bags down and made a move to unlock the door, the keys jangling being the only noise in that moment. You both heard the click of the lock coming loose and, after picking the bags up again, Hotch pushed the door open to step inside. But as you followed, you bumped into his solid form and earned a quiet grunt from him, not expecting him to have stopped so suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” you wondered aloud, inching around him to see the problem- oh. Hm.

One king-sized bed sat in the centre of the room against the left wall, not the two beds you were both expecting. Fuck.

“I’ll return to the front desk and see if there’s anything they can do to change this.” Hotch said and you turned to look back at him.

“You know there isn’t anything available, though. Let’s just, um, head in and sort out in the morning.”

The longer you stared at the seeming displeasure on his face, the worse you began to feel about sharing with him. Great, he probably was regretting this now.

“Are you certain?”

It made you frown.

“I’m tired, sir. I just want to have a shower and get some rest.” you muttered. He let out a heavy sigh, deepening the uncomfortable feeling in your lower abdomen, but relented by following you inside the room and closing the door when he had deposited the bags onto the bed.

“You can take the first shower.” he offered quietly and your face twitched into a miniature smile.

“Thanks. Won’t be long. You can choose which side to sleep on.”

Unpacking your toiletries and your (regretful choice) of pyjamas, you tiptoed towards the shower room after kicking your shoes off. Hotch had already made claim of the table in the room, spreading out his work across the surface. You closed the door behind you quickly when he shrugged his suit jacket off and loosened his tie, electing to restrict yourself from seeing him in anything less than his standard clothing for your own wellbeing.

You began to undress, untucking your shirt from your trousers, when you finally noticed something truly off.

Your FBI ID was gone. With one brow quirked, you searched through your pockets and in your toiletry bag, expecting to have maybe misplaced it in a sleepy state. But no… You swallowed thickly and opened the shower room door again. Automatically, Hotch’s head moved to your direction from where he was seated on the side of the bed nearest the hotel room door and he tilted his head.

“What is it?”

You cleared your throat.

“U-uhm… My ID; it’s gone.”

Wooooooo spooooky idk idk I HOPE PPL ENJOYED THIS FIRST PART it's not gonna be jolly from here on out until the end 🥴 if you'd like to be tagged let me know!

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@southernraven, @deludedfruitcake , @tgskitten , @zaddyhotch , @cm-slvts-31 , @dins-cyarika @midnghtprentiss

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x plus size!reader #aaron hotchner x plus size reader #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #hotch x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader

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radiant-reid · 1 year

Text

Irreplaceable

Summary: Sad about JJ’s sudden departure from the BAU, Spencer begins to hate her replacement

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (angst)

Content Warning: a tiny cm case description

Word Count: 3.5k

Masterlist | Navigation

Y/n met Jennifer Jareau twice before walking into the BAU for her first day at her new job.

The first time was a hush-hush meeting in Erin Strauss's office when JJ, as she preferred to be called, was informed she would be leaving the team and transferring to a highly classified job at the Department of Defense, and Y/n would be filling her role. She admired how well JJ took the news and dealt with Strauss.

It directly contrasted how JJ spoke about their mutual superior when they'd left Strauss's office and could speak privately. Clearly, she wasn't happy about it and assured Y/n it wouldn't happen once she told her Unit Chief.

Y/n wasn't worried either way. Her team at counterterrorism was okay. They didn't exactly make her feel like she was part of their unit, usually treating her like she was less than them for only being a communication liaison, but it wasn't a bad job, and she got to help people.

Still, there must have been something inside her that worried her because she pressed the sixth-floor button on the elevator and briefly showed Y/n around while explaining what her role was.

The second time was directly after JJ had been transferred from the team, unwillingly and unable to be stopped by her Unit Chief. It was awkward, to say the least, happening at the worst possible time, the blonde tearful as she explained her duties in more detail. She knew it was coming, judging by the list of responsibilities she already had made for Y/n.

The team had already gone home that night, aside from Aaron Hotchner who was clearly upset about JJ's sudden departure, but made an effort to sound welcoming.

Monday is the first day she'll be taking the elevator to the sixth floor instead of the seventh. Strauss didn't want to waste a moment in not having the BAU team fully staffed, even though it was her decision to remove their old communications liaison. Being new on a team is always scary, and knowing JJ's loss is still raw for them makes Y/n nervous. She knows they'll hate her or Strauss, and as bad as it sounds, she's hoping it's directed at the latter.

She goes to Hotch's office first, knocking on the door before worrying about if the knock is too loud, and he'll think she's overeager or annoying or too quiet, and he'll wish the Bureau had gotten someone more assertive.

"Come in." He calls.

She opens the door, balancing her box of stuff between her left hand and her hip. "Hi, I'm Y/n L/n. The new communications liaison." She says, unsure of if she's supposed to introduce herself.

"Of course." He nods, standing up to shake her hand before nodding to the seat in front of his desk. "Sit, please." She follows the instruction. "You didn't need to be here this early."

She cringes, realizing she's already appeared enthusiastic to her new Unit Chief, who's probably wishing she was JJ and that it was a regular Monday.

"I'm sorry if that's not okay." She quickly apologizes. "I just wanted to get my stuff from upstairs, set up before everyone else gets here, maybe have a trial run in the conference room." And now she looks like an insecure agent with no idea what she's doing.

Hotch proves how good a profiler he is quickly. "L/n, your evaluations show you're an excemplarary agent. You needn't worry so long as you keep up your high-standard of work on this team."

She nods, slightly more relaxed now, knowing he has some faith in her abilities. "I will, sir." She assures him.

"Settle into your office." He directs her. "There's a case file on your desk. Usually, they come straight to you, but I'm sure JJ explained that."

She nods again. "As well as leaving detailed notes."

"I'll present it to the team for you to observe, but you'll be liaising when we land in Denver." He informs her. "You have a go-bag packed?"

"Yes, sir." She answers, getting up to leave his office.

"You can call me Hotch like everyone else." He tells her. "And there's coffee in the kitchenette, help yourself to it."

Then he goes back to his paperwork, and she slips out with her box, shutting the door behind her. She tries not to focus on everyone's desks as she walks past, not wanting to invade their privacy, but she can't help figuring out who's messy and who's not, who has pictures or books.

JJ's office is slightly less cluttered than when Y/n first saw it. There are still stacks of paperwork, but there's room for the few personal effects Y/n brought.

The case file is there like Hotch said it would be, and she memorizes every detail in the time she has. It's not Hotch who comes to get her but another agent.

He smiles, dazzlingly, offering out his hand to shake hers. "I'm Derek Morgan." He introduces himself. "My office is down the hall."

"Y/n L/n." She introduces herself in exchange, standing and shaking his hand. "The new liaison."

Before he can say something else, someone else pokes their head around the doorway. "You're new." She states. "Are you nice?" She turns to Morgan. "Is she nice?"

Y/n stands there a little awkwardly at them discussing her in front of her, and she's a little worried that this is what it's like at the BAU.

"Baby girl, slow your roll." Morgan places a hand on her shoulder, soothing her. The petname doesn't phase her and Y/n wonders if they're dating or if they're even allowed to do that.

"I'm bad with change. I'm sorry." She apologizes quickly, visibly concerned about being rude. "I'm Penelope Garcia, the tech analyst."

"Y/n L/n." She introduces herself again. "I'm sorry about your friend leaving. I'm nice, though, I promise."

Penelope nods, accepting the answer. "Good. I think it's time for the profile briefing."

Y/n turns back to grab her copy of the file before following them out of her office. "Do you guys really have a private jet?" She asks as they walk along the hallway and through the glass doors.

"Not that I ever get to go on it, but yes." Penelope answers. "I spent my time in my lair, which you're welcome to come by anytime. I have fuzzy pens, toys, and lots of links to funny animal videos. As well as any and all information you might need."

"She's the woman who knows the most," Morgan says in agreement.

Garcia grins at him. "You're just saying that because it's true."

Before Y/n gains any more information, they arrive at the conference room, and she's got to calm her nerves before meeting the rest of the team.

Hotch is already there, as well as two other guys, one much older and one about her age, and a woman with dark hair. "This is Y/n L/n, the new communications liaison." Hotch does the introduction for her. "L/n, this is David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, and Spencer Reid."

She greets Rossi and Prentiss by shaking their hands, but upon offering Reid a handshake, he just turns away from her and sits down, not even acknowledging her verbally.

Thankfully, Hotch does something about the awkwardness they all sense from Reid's dismissive behavior and starts talking about the case.

For two months, she has worked at the BAU. For two months, Reid has despised her.

She's not sure if it was the offer of a handshake that started the hatred or if she'd fucked up some other way, or if she's just not who he wants to be communications liaison, but she walks on eggshells around him, terrified to slip up and have him yell at her or try to get her fired. So far, it's only been snarky comments, but it could get worse.

The rest of the team has been much more welcoming, even though they miss JJ. She's learned a lot about them. Rossi writes books, Hotch has a son named Jack, Morgan's from Chicago and he's not dating Garcia, and Garcia has the best collection of happy items.

Emily understands her the most, being the second newest team member, and Y/n can tell some of the time Emily comes by her office, it's just to chat and not for work.

This time with the gift of coffee. They got back two days ago, having one day off before they had to be back in the offices, where it's time for Y/n to pick another case.

"How are you doing?" Emily asks.

"Good." Y/n answers, although it's not convincing to Emily, who raises her eyebrows. "Everyone has been really welcoming... except Reid. Did you have problems with him when you started?"

Emily shakes her head. "The first case I worked, I spent most of my time with him." She answers. "He was snappy with me when he- well, when he was going through something. I thought Hotch hated me, though."

"Why?" She prompts.

"Well, he thought I was sent here to bring the whole team down," Emily answers like it's casual gossip and not a crazy, complicated speculation.

Y/n's eyes widen. "I guess that's worse."

"I didn't say it so that my situation sounded worse." She assures her new friend, who did already know that. "All I mean is, maybe something more is going on."

Y/n had already guessed that the something more was JJ's departure. "They were really close, huh?"

"Yeah." Emily agrees. "I'm still on your side, though. I love him like he's my little brother, which is why I can say he's being a dick." She laughs at Emily's words. "Missing JJ and liking you aren't mutually exclusive."

"Thanks, Em." She replies, feeling a little more cheered up for the next few days she's going to have to spend with Reid.

"Good morning, pretty ladies," Penelope says, poking her head around the doorframe. "Oh, are you gossiping without me? You better not be."

Emily shakes her head. "I promise we're not. Just discussing Reid and L/n."

"Not like that." Y/n jumps in quickly, making sure an office rumor doesn't start. Worse than Reid hating her for existing would be Reid thinking she's pathetic for having a crush on him.

"What's happened?" Penelope asks, sitting on the edge of the desk and waiting for the gossip.

"He's just kind of mean." Y/n minimizes it, not wanting to seem rude herself. "I think he probably just misses JJ."

Penelope taps her on the nose. "Look at you, little profiler." She jokes. "I'll talk to him."

Y/n shakes her head. "Please don't. He'll get over it, or he'll just be cold to me forever." She jokes.

"Okay, well, Hotch told me to come to get you because he's ready for the case to be briefed, so we can talk more about this later." She informs them.

The three of them get up, trailing to the conference room so Y/n can kick off another case with a briefing. She's gotten better at it in her time there, now delivering the facts effectively.

Then they're off to Chicago to catch what's looking to be a vigilant killer.

Hotch divides the team up as usual, pairing Y/n and Reid together at the precinct to create a geographic profile. It's not unknown that he dislikes her to everyone besides Penelope, who doesn't see them on the field.

Hotch is just hoping that putting them together in the conference room will force him to get over it.

"There's no address on the second victim." Reid realizes, turning to look at the file on the table before looking at the map he's been drawing on hanging up on the board.

"Yeah, he was homeless," Y/n informs him, wondering why he hadn't been paying attention when she said that on the jet. "Oh, I can call Penelope and ask if there was a general area he made purchases." She suggests, reaching for her phone and getting up.

"No." Reid shuts her down, taking his own phone. "I will."

She lets out a deep breath. "Okay, I'm going to get a coffee." She leaves before he demands she gets him one too.

Reid ignores her, dialing Garcia's number. "How can I dazzle you with my bank of knowledge today, boy genius?" She asks.

So he asks for what he needs, holding the phone with one hand while he uses his other to trace over the suburbs. As usual, she has all the information he needs, but he can't get off the phone without metaphorically paying for it.

"How's Y/n?" She asks.

"Communications liaison L/n?" He asks, pretending that he'd forgotten her name. It makes Penelope scoff at his childish antics. "F-fine. I don't know."

She taps her pen, trying to find a way to talk about Y/n without making the problem obvious. "Do you like like her?" She asks.

He scoffs at the suggestion. "Of course not. She's trying to be a replacement JJ, and I think she's doing a bad job."

"She's yet to mess up." Penelope reminds him.

He knows it's true, but he doubles down anyway. "She will. And I'll get to say I told you so to everyone."

"Come on, Reid-"

"I have to go, Garcia." He says, ending the conversation before she can add anything else.

His blood is boiling at what's just happened. The whole interaction, thinking about Y/n: he hates it. He misses JJ, and Y/n just turned up and started pretending to be her. It's not the same. He's furious no one else notices it either. Why everyone thinks she's good at her job and so perfect is a mystery that he doesn't want to solve.

Then the team gives the profile, Y/n sitting there without comment until the very end. "And we cannot stress how important it is to keep the unsub's possible location out of the press." She tells the local cops. "Our only advantage is we know where he lives and will strike."

Reid thinks it's reductive, nothing about their profile should be in the media, but Hotch nods in agreement with her. "Thank you." He dismisses everyone.

Another victim is not what they need, but it's what they get, and the media runs wild while Y/n tries to control them. The press conference where she informs the public of (common sense) safety directions goes seemingly well, and the team ends up in the conference room to go over more details.

"Hotch, you need to see this," Y/n announces, walking swiftly into the room and turning the tv on. It's a news channel, reporting on information they shouldn't have, the inner details of the profile. "I don't know where they got it." She tells him sincerely.

Hotch has been in this position so many times that he's not surprised anymore. It's always a beat cop with a big mouth.

Reid, however, flies off the rails. "Are you seriously that bad at your job!? You know how much media attention is going to affect this case, the profilers explained that to you!" He yells at her, gaining everyone's attention and shock. They barely see him angry, let alone at one of them. "The press isn't meant to know any of that."

She gulps at the telling-off, feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. She just stands there in shame, not sure what to say.

Thankfully, Hotch steps in. "Reid, walk with me." He demands, dragging him out of the room.

Y/n is mortified to stand in front of the team as well, seeing their sympathy. Reid has definitely made it awkward. "I'm going to... get some air." She decides, speaking quietly before spinning around and practically running out of the building.

She feels stupid to be sitting outside crying over someone not liking her. It's not like she needs everyone to like her, but the conflict makes it awkward for the whole team, and as the newest member, she feels guilty for throwing the balance off.

Emily comes to see her after a few moments, bringing her the jacket she'd left inside. "Hey, you doing okay?" She asks.

Y/n's decided it's easier to pretend she's over it to avoid everyone else's pity. "Yeah, no, I'm good." She assures her. "Just unexpected."

"You deserve to be on this team," Emily tells her. It's something she wishes she had been told when she struggled acclimating to a new unit. "It's not your fault the press got that, Hotch knows that."

She scoffs. "I wish Reid did." Emily looks at her pitifully again. "I just want to move past it, Em." She decides.

Emily nods, understanding her desire not to draw attention to it. "Okay, let's go solve this case."

So they do. They find the unsub at his house in the kill zone, and when he goes to slide the knife into his victim, instead of surrendering, Reid shoots him. There's a silent agreement in thoughts that it's better he's dead. This way, there's no trial, they don't have to testify, and a jury isn't going to find him not guilty of killing people they think deserve to die anyway.

By the time the final press conference is over, and the media has been informed of the case wrapping with a shoutout to the local police department in true BAU fashion, Y/n's beyond ready to curl up in bed.

Unfortunately, the bed is a hotel one and not her own, but a bed is a bed, and she's too tired for it to matter.

She's about to get into bed when someone knocks on her door, and assuming it's Emily coming to check on her, she doesn't ignore it and walks over to the peephole.

It's Reid.

Y/n sighs, not knowing whether or not to answer it. The light is still on, so she can't pretend she's asleep. Unhappily, she opens it, waiting for him to start the conversation while crossing an arm over her chest defensively.

"Can I speak to you?" He asks.

She can't bite down a snarky comment. "Speak to me or yell at me?"

"That's what I wanted to come to talk to you about, t-to apologize." He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. He actually looks more uncomfortable than her, and she should be enjoying it more. He deserves to feel like that, she reminds herself.

"If it's just Hotch making you, I don't want to hear it." She tells him. He has defined how friendly they're going to be, she's just maintaining the attitude.

He shakes his head quickly. "He's not, I promise."

She steps aside to let him in, figuring it's a conversation that should be had in private. "Alright, keep talking." She prompts, standing in her room.

Spencer stands there awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "I've been horrible to you since you joined the team." He admits, and she doesn't protest, just nods. "I'm really sorry about that and, uh, what I said today. It was out of line, and despite what you probably think, not like me."

She's not sure what else to say. She knows he can be caring and kind, just not to her. "Thanks for shooting him." She settles on.

"I didn't do it for you." He says before realizing it sounds bad. "I mean, I didn't do it because you did a bad job. You did great, you always do great, and you really don't need that validated by me. I'm sorry, I'll stop talking."

"Thanks." She says simply. "I'm sorry I have to be here and not JJ. I know I'm replaceable on this team, but I'm not horrible."

"I know that." He assures her. "And I don't think you're replaceable."

She frowns. "I am actually a replacement."

"I guess, but you fit on this team." He assures her. He doesn't know how badly she needs to hear that and feel how different the BAU is from her old unit. "Really well, Y/n, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't. I shouldn't have taken out how I was feeling about JJ leaving on you. You're amazing at your job, and we're lucky to have you."

"We can start over." She decides. He's trustworthy and kind, and she's sure he'll act like that toward her. "Hi, I'm Y/n L/n. It's nice to meet you."

Spencer offers his hand out to shake hers like he hadn't the first time. "Spencer Reid. When I prove that I'm not a terrible person, and if it's not inappropriate, I'd like to take you to dinner."

That surprises her, only slightly less than it surprises him that he let the words come out of his mouth. He'd been thinking about that since what Penelope said on the phone, but it wasn't his intention to come to her room and include it in his apology.

She can't say she's upset about it, even though dating him hadn't crossed her mind while wondering why he hated her so much. "I'd consider that part of us turning a new leaf.”

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#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fandom #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds oneshot #CRIMINAL MINDS FANDOM #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst

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greencways · 3 months

Text

WRONG PERSON WRONG TIME

Jennifer Jareau x reader , Emily Prentiss x reader

wc - 1339

TW // SO MUCH ANGSSTTT!!! slight smut at the start if you squint, curse words, alcohol

A/N - tbh I’m going through all my requests and drafts which is why there are lots of my fics coming out tonight but there probably won’t be as much as this for a small while ! also it’s important to note at the end of this fic jj and reader are broken up with ! when she goes over Emily’s house; reader and JJ are NOT together

"You're such a bitch" JJ scowled.

"Real cute JJ" you scoffed.

"I hate you" JJ seethed.

"Oh my God are we really doing this here" you slung your arm back as you were arguing in the middle of the bullpen.

"Yeah" JJ sighed "Yeah we are cause you sure as hell don't listen to me anywhere else" JJ smirked.

"Oh you're really gonna play the whole 'I'm in the Unit Chief and I think I'm better then everyone else' card" you scoffed.

"Well you didn't get the job did you?" JJ laughed.

"Fuck you" you crossed your arms and snickered.

"You wish" JJ laughed in your face.

"JJ your office I need a word with you" you narrowed your eyes waiting for her to go.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" you shouted as the door to her office shut "Ever since you got this job you're a whole new person and I don't like, I miss the old JJ, the JJ who actually cared about other people's feelings, especially her girlfriend's ones at that" you scoffed running your hands through your hair.

"Baby-" JJ started as she sat on the couch her hand slowly making her way up her thigh as she started leaning back and bucking her hips up.

"No Jay we're not doing this right now I'm so mad at you" you seethed.

"Just come here" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

You scanned her up and down and gave in and sat on her lap facing towards her, your knees tucked into the sides of the couch.

"You miss me too much" JJ laughed as she started kissing your neck.

"Stop talking" you said "kiss me" you said.

"I am kissing you" she said her lips attached to your neck.

"No on my lips" you sighed.

"What was that?" JJ mocked.

"Kiss me on my lips please" you sighed

"Because you begged so nicely I will" JJ smiled "you're so pretty like this you know" JJ smirked in the middle of your kiss.

"I know" you smiled tucking her hair behind her ear, your lips still attached to hers.

A couple of minutes later after you finished making out, you were still on her lap facing her with your knees sunk into the couch "can we talk about this?" you sighed sadly.

"About what baby?" JJ smiled tucking your hair behind your ears.

"About us, I mean we argue all the time and we solve nothing by doing this" you gestured to your current position.

"I know" JJ smiled sadly again.

"Jennifer I can't keep doing this, I'm sorry" you shuffled backwards to get off her lap.

"No wait we can fix this, I know we can" JJ begged as you stood up over her.

"We can't Jay and you know it" you bent down to kiss her forehead "I'm sorry, not this time" tears escaping and quickly.

"Y/N wait" JJ begged as she stood up reaching out for you.

"It's best if we aren't together any more JJ" you turned around sadly to face her as you cupped her cheek with your hand.

"Can I do something that'll change it?" JJ breathed out quickly "I can change" her voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't want you to ever change Jay" tears streaming down your face.

"Jennifer, I will always love you, always" you hugged her tightly "We're just not good together, I'm sorry" your head becoming dizzy with the fact that you were actually doing this.

"I need you" JJ whispered.

"You don't need me" you chucked slightly through your sobs "you're the most badass person I know" you both chuckled "you'll be fine, I promise" you paused "and I don't make those lightly"

"I love you" JJ said quickly as you turned around to put your hand on the door.

"I love you too, always, it just isn't our time" you smiled once more as you walked out of JJ's office.

You went to the bathroom to freshen up, you came back to the bullpen to see everyone huddled around Spencer's desk "What's going on here?" you whispered gently coming up behind them.

"Physics magic" Emily smiled as she threw her arm back for a side hug which you gladly took "you okay?" she whispered so only you could hear it.

"No but I don't wanna talk about it in front of everyone" you wearily smiled.

"You wanna talk about it at my place tonight?" Emily suggested.

"Yeah I would like that" you looked up at her and she winked.

——

Once you got to Emily's apartment, once she sent you the address you were in shock at how big her apartment was.

"You need to close your mouth or you'll catch flies you know" Emily laughed.

"That's something my mom would say" you cringed, you crinkled your nose and recoiled in disgust as Emily laughed.

"Make yourself at home" Emily smiled as she grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"What's going on in that mind of yours" Emily sighed as she sat down on the couch next to you handing you your glass.

"JJ broke up with me" your fingers played with the rim of Emily's glass, you couldn't even look up at her because of how embarrassed you were.

"Oh honey no" Emily shuffled closer to you after putting your drink down.

"Emily I don't want pity" you chuckled, still playing with the rim.

"Don't think of it like pity, think of it like helping a friend out" she suggested with a shrug.

"Ha ha" you rolled your eyes as you set your glass down

"Y/N" she said as she playfully jabbed your side which made you laugh for real.

"Emily stop" you said through laughs.

"Not until you feel better" she said laughing as well.

"Thank you for this" you sighed.

"For sure" Emily said grabbing the two glasses and walking around the couch to put them in the dishwasher "and obviously if you need somewhere to stay, I have a spare bedroom that it honestly just gathering pure dust" Emily laughed.

"Can I stay here for tonight?" you bit your lip as you suggested it, unsure of how Emily would react.

"Oh honey of course" Emily walked over to you and kissed your forehead.

"We can go apartment hunting on the weekend if you're up for it?" Emily suggested as you nodded your head "It sounds like a plan then" Emily smiled.

"Sure does" you genuinely smiled for the first time that night.

"Come on, you look exhausted" Emily reached a hand out for you to take which you gladly accepted.

"Pajamas are in that drawer" Emily pointed to the middle of the large chest of drawers in front of you "and if you need anything don't hesitate to knock on my door" Emily smiled as she rubbed your arm in consolation.

You got into bed and checked your phone, multiple calls and texts from JJ asking if you could work this out just made the situation seem a lot more messy than what it needed to, you and JJ both knew you weren't right for each other so why was she trying so hard.

"Emily?" you questioned softly as you knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" she replied as you peered your head in through the door.

"Could I-could I um-" you gestured to the bed, Emily nodding as she knew what you meant, she shuffled backwards and opened the blanket for you to crawl under which you gladly took her up on "I'm sorry I'm such a mess" you sighed as you chuckled.

"Don't ever apologize for that, you're grieving a breakup right now" Emily softly shushed you.

"If it isn't asking to much can I hug you?" you looked up almost embarrassed.

"Mmhm" Emily smiled as she opened her arms for you to sink into.

"Thank you" you smiled into her chest.

"Don't mention it" she smiled as she kissed your forehead once more before you fell asleep.

#criminal minds #fanfic #jennifer jareau #aj cook #jennifer jareau x reader #jj x reader #jennifer jareau x you #emily prentiss #yn #paget brewster #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #jennifer jareau x female reader

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emberfrostlovesloki · 12 days

Text

Criminal Minds ABCs...

Hi all! I hope you are having a good week so far. I made a Criminal Minds ABCs for fun. All of the ABCs deal with characters or concepts from the show. This took a long time to make and I'm very proud of it, so I hope you enjoy it! See all of the ABCs under the cut and all photo credits are at the end! Please be kind to yourself today and I am sending you a hug. All likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated - Love Levi <3

A stand for Aaron Hotchner: Unit chief of the BAU.

B is for the BAU a department of the FBI the researches cases on serial killers.

C is for Criminology: The scientific study of crimes and criminals.

D is for Derek Morgan: Former Chigaco cop and friend to Penelope Garcia and Spencer Reid.

E is for Evidence: The available body of facts indicating whether a belief is true or valid.

F is for Fingerprint: An impression made on a surface by a person's fingertip.

G if for Penelope Garcia: Spunky Technical Analyst of the BAU.

H is for Homicide: The killing of one person by another.

I is for Interrogation: The action of interrogation or the process of being interrogated.

J is for Jennifer Jareau: The Media Liason for the BAU.

K is for Kill shot: To shoot a gun with the purpose of killing someone.

L is for LDSK: The FBI's acronym for Long Distance Serial Killer.

M stands for Murder: The unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.

N stands for New Agent Training: The Basic Field Training Course is designed to train new special agents and intelligence analysts together to prepare them for the field.

O stands for Organized: Arranged in a systematic way.

P Stands for Prior Record: An individual's previous criminal record.

Q stands for Question: A sentence worded or expressed so as to elicit information.

R stands for Revenge: The act of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an unjury or wrong suffered at their hands.

S stands for Spencer Reid: Eidetic genius and youngest member of the BAU.

T stands for Trophy: A souvenir or memento of a crime.

U stands for Unsub: The FBI's slang for Unknown Subject.

V stands for Victimology: The study of the victims of crime and the psychological effects on them of their experience.

W stands for Witness: A person who sees an event, typically a crime or accident, take place.

X stands for eXamination: A detailed inspection or investiation.

Y stands for Yellow Journalism: A style of newspaper reporting that emphasizes sensationalism over facts.

Z stands for ZZZ's on the jet home

Text Break Banner by @cafekitsune

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Want to be added to my tag list? Please check out this post (linked)

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drghostwrite · 3 months

Note

so I’ve noticed you’ve written for both criminal minds and x-files,

would you write smth where the reader used to work on the x-files but dosent anymore and is new to the bau and one one of the cases it’s clear it’s not a normal case and they r kinda like “omfg-“

sorry if this dosent make sense ignore if so and if you don’t wanna do this or have anything to do with it ^^”

omg this is a perfect idea and I just rewatched the episode of criminal minds where the psychic is being used and JJ ends up enlisting his help. Though I did a Dana Scully x reader relationship bc why not two independent strong women and I made reader like a unit chief from all the expertise they would bring. I really hope you like it, though there will most likely be multiple parts bc I LOVE this idea, please request more in the future my little genius.

Pairing: Criminal minds BAU x reader

Summary: Reader is was assinged to the X-files, after a heated realtionship with Dana scully you transferred to another team allowing the two of you to be together. One case triggers your past memories but did you realize it to late or did you come to in time to save another life.

********************************************************

You ran a hand through your hair, your tired eyes were red from exhaustion. The coffee had gone cold so you exchanged it for a cold redbull in the fridge which had since grown warm. The mental exertion of this case was taking its toll on your team. You checked your phone again, no new notifications, you lingered on the picture displaying, you and Dana, you were leaned back against her, head turned up as she had a hand gently placed on your cheek her lips pressed to yours, a perfect pairing. You wanted nothing more than to have her wrapped in your arms, soft lips on yours as her warmth seeped into your bones, yet here you were 23 hours in, 5 victims, and no leads.

You walked out of your office and down the hall to the large conference room that your team now occupied, they were bouncing ideas off of each other, files splayed across the table as some wrote quick notes, you could hear the furious typing of Penelope Garcia as she stared holes through her laptop, she was fact checking as Emily and Rossi threw more ideas into the mix. JJ sat on the edge of the table watching as they talked amongst themselves, quickly she made her way over to you as you stepped into the doorway.

"Hey..." she spoke softly.

"Hey, how's it going in here?" you motioned your head towards the group.

"Honestly we're grasping at straws here, I don't think we have any real leads."

"Hmm..." you said as you turned to walk back to your office motioning your head for her to come with, she followed close behind. You dug through the stack of files behind your desk pulling out the newest victim.

"What's this?" she asked sinking into the chair in front of your desk.

"Victim number five." you spoke softly.

"Five, have you shown this to the team yet?"

"Nope, I got it faxed in only an hour ago and after looking over it so far it's no help." you sat down into your chair.

"I think we need to present this..."

"Yes but, all we have is the same signature but the killings aren’t the same...I wanted to see if the team had any more ideas.” You rubbed the stress lines forming on your forehead.

"So far no but it can't hurt..." she trailed looking over the file. you stood to walk back out of your office, she followed closely behind and as you stepped out, something caught your eye, turning and looking down into the bullpen you saw a man. A man that JJ recognized as Stanley Usher, "Mr. Usher." She greeted the tall man.

"Miss Jennifer Jareau, I would ask how things have been but by the energy this place carries not good." he said looking over to you, despite his strong demeanor he had very kind eyes.

"You my dear, have a very strong energy about you." he smiled at you. you gave a small smile back.

"Mr. Usher this is our unit chief, SSA Pierce."

"Mmm," he nodded approvingly, "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Pierce, if I may..."

"It's miss and you may..."

"Pardon me I thought with the ring." he gestured towards your hand, where you wore a white silicone ring.

"Not married, just..."

"I see, well I'm sure you will be soon, any woman would be lucky to have you..." You looked at JJ thinking maybe she told him about Dana but she quickly assured you that she hadn't said anything.

"I only stopped to drop something off for Miss Jareau but, then I saw you. Whatever case you're working you need fresh eyes, a particular redhead might be able to help you out," he said smiling before taking his leave. You turned towards JJ, who shrugged utterly confused by the situation.

"Go present to the team... I have a phone call to make." you quickly handed her the file, returning to your office where you picked up your cell dialing Scully. It rung a few times before you finally heard her voice, deep and raspy laced with sleep.

"Y/N?..." she whispered.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry to wake you."

"No it's okay... are you okay?" she asked a small bit of concern slipping in.

"Well... um, not exactly, we found another victim..."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Yea, me too... But that's not why I called... Dana I need a second set of eyes on this, the team is worn thin and I really need you."

"Okay, I can be there in 20 minutes."

"Thank you, I'll brief you when you get here."

"You'll get him Y/N... I'm proud of you, I love you."

"I love you too." you ended the call quickly gathering everything to brief her when she arrives.

---time jump---

20 minutes later you heard a small knock on your door before you heard the click of the lock and it slowly swung open, a small amount of light seeped in as she stepped into the room, the only light in your office was the lamp on your desk and the one on the table next to your couch, the couch that you were currently curled up on, you felt her hands press into your shoulders and wrap around to your front, one hand covering your heart as she rested her head on your shoulder her forhead against the side of your head.

"Dana..." you slowly whispered your voice threatening to break from exhaustion, and frustration.

"It's okay, I know..." you pulled apart. She looked at the file splayed across your desk, picking up a few of the pictures and comparing them.

"Hey did you say if your guy has been doing surveillance on anyone."

"Not that we know, why?"

"Just cause this looks an awfully lot like one of your agents and this one too..." she said holding up the pictures next to the large group picture you had of the team.

“Oh my God… that’s it… you’re a genius.” You said shooting up out of your chair and kissing her, “Dana Scully you are an absolute genius and love of my life.” You smiled at her as she shyly smiled back.

You quickly turned running down the hall to where the rest of the team resided… “I got it!” You exclaimed a little too excited, they all looked at you as if they had been jolted with electricity.

“He’s building a team…”

“Rebuilding the BAU?” Emily questioned looking at the pictures on the monitor.

“Can’t be, we don’t have a red head…” Rossi trailed.

“But Y/N did…” Dana spoke up and they all looked behind you to see her standing there.

“Team this is Dana, babe this is the team.” They all waved no time for introduction.

“What I mean is Y/N you were in charge of a team…” before she could finish you were sorting the pictures.

“Oh God he’s building my teams… Dana…” you motioned towards 5 grouped pictures on the wall Scully and Mulder, along with Emily, JJ and Spencer look alikes all plastered on the screen. “The team I worked with during the X files and my team now he’s rebuilding them, killing them and then staging them at these crime scenes…which means at least 4 more victims.”

“but cause of death is always different?”

“it’s our weakest cases… look..” Dana pointed to the redhead, the way the victim was posed was identical to a case that almost killed her, and she ended up taking leave shortly after to recover before returning to the field.

“And the gifts?” Jj asked motioning to the second board where pictures and evidence bags sat holding gifts that had been delivered to everyone, some at the office and others at various locations.

“Get the correct order that we were all sent the gifts I guarantee it coordinates with the victims… he’s dangling this right in front of our face.”

“on it!” Answered Reid, JJ, and Emily at the same time.

“Garcia once they did this I want everything compiled anyone that would’ve had access to our cases and reports, and that bought something like this,” you pointed to the tokens displayed in the room, a variety of “gifts” that the unsub has left.

#x yn #x reader #x files #the xfiles #criminal minds x reader #character prompt #jj jareau x reader #derek morgan #david rossi #emily prentiss #criminal minds #bau team #bau x reader

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unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix · 1 year

Note

On JJ being unfairly hated, it really baffled me to see someone wondering whether JJ would get a “redemption arc” in the reboot before it aired. As though she was some sort of villain or horrible person!

But yes I really love the idea of Unit Chief JJ too and I was disappointed that we didn’t get that in evolution. Do you have any thoughts about how JJ might eventually become the UC?

I don’t see why JJ would have a “redemption arc” at all because yeah she’s made mistakes but why treat her as a horrible person? Unfortunately, I think we know some of those reasons why people think that.

Anyway, onto the concept of unit chief JJ! I am 100% on board with this. I’ve said this before when I was watching the 3rd ep of Evolution, I thought they were going to ultimately make her UC, or at least start building that idea. Honestly, when Rossi was UC in the first 3 episodes, it felt like JJ was the one that actually led and kept the team together more than him.

According to the interviews AJ has done, she confirmed that JJ led a department/office in New Orleans, so I would really like for the show to play into that as an explanation for her natural ability to lead the BAU as well. She has a lot of qualifications passed for a UC, too, including her past role as communications liaison. Disregarding the circumstances the team is under at the moment, I feel that if the show were to actually (by this, I mean officially on screen) make JJ unit chief, they would have Emily talk to her in private and offer her the position, give her some time to think about it, and make a decision. I want to include Emily in here, too because in the last season of the original run, she told JJ she wanted her to succeed her role, if she ever got promoted to another position.

Thank you so much! I’d love to hear more unit chief JJ thoughts bc I love the concept so much.

#jennifer jareau #criminal minds #unit chief jennifer jareau

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bisexualanalysisunit · 5 days

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Bisexual Analysis Unit

A/N: I have officially come out of fandom retirement thanks to Spencer Reid. Only a fictional white man could send me into orbit like this. You go, spencer, you funky little bicon.

Contrary to popular belief, not all of the agents in the BAU are bisexual.

The BAU does, however, hold the all time record for the highest number of openly bisexual agents.

Dr Spencer Reid, Dr Alex Blake, Dr Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Elle Greenaway.

Not to mention, of course, that Emily Prentiss herself openly identified as bisexual prior to her reading the “am I a lesbian” masterdoc and having some realisations about compulsory heterosexuality.

The day that realisation reached the grapevine was a very sad day for men indeed.

So yeah, in all honesty, it was inevitable that the BAU would get its nickname.

Even if the whispered rumours about the tightly buttoned-up former Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner were never confirmed.

#criminal minds #criminal minds Drabble #Spencer read fic #headcanons #mine #bisexual Spencer Reid #bisexual #lesbian Emily Prentiss #jemily

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r-is-typing · 2 years

Text

interview day | s.r

summary: in which two very different people become friends

requested?: yes! requested by @pasta-and-isopods

request: is it possible for you to do a platonic fic where spencer reid becomes friends with the reader?

pairing: spencer reid x platonic gn!reader

category: fluff, platonic

content warnings: none!

word count: >1k

Interview day.

A day hated by the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, but especially Penelope Garcia. It was known by everyone that knew the girl that she despised change, so when it came to interviewing day which meant hiring someone new after Ashley Seaver had transferred departments, Garcia was pacing all around the room, watching people walk in and out of Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner’s office all day.

Another person anxious about the upcoming interviews was Y/N L/N.

The day had finally come when they flew through the academy and they could start applying for real-life roles in the FBI, actually working for them, rather than just train. Y/N decided that the Behavior Analysis Unit would be the perfect fit for them, but, like anyone, they were terrified of not being able to make it, especially since they were only 26.

Y/N stared at the silver elevator doors, standing two feet away from them. “You know, you actually have to get in the elevators to go somewhere.” Y/N’s face grew red as they turned around, facing a tall, light-skinned man and a blonde woman. “Where are you headed?” The light-skinned man asked, holding the doors open as the three stepped into the elevator. “Up to the BAU. I’m being interviewed for one of their profiler positions.”

“Oh! We work for the BAU. I’m Jennifer Jareau and this is Derek Morgan.”

Y/N shook their extended hands. “Y/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you.” Jennifer smiled at Y/N as the elevator doors opened, the three stepped out and walked towards the glass doors. “Welcome to the BAU, L/N. Good luck. Hotch’s door is just up those stairs and the first one on the left.” Y/N signaled a thank you to the two before walking up to the Unit Chief’s office.

They stood at the door for a moment and stared before lifting their fist and knocking gently.

“Come in.” A deep voice spoke from behind the door. Y/N opened the door slowly. “Mr. Hotchner? I’m Y/N L/N. I have an interview with you?” The dark-haired man looked up from his paperwork and nodded, standing to his feet. “Nice to meet you, Dr. L/N. I’ve heard a lot about you from Dave, uh, Agent Rossi.”

Y/N smiled at this. During their time at the academy, David Rossi had spent a few hours here and there observing the agent trainees, taking notes of who would be good candidates for future positions. Rossi had observed Y/N and hinted to them about the position at the BAU that would be opening up.

“So, I’ve read your files. Top of your class at the academy and graduated with a PhD in Psychology from Yale.” Hotch raised an eyebrow at Y/N to which they just sheepishly smiled. “That’s impressive.”

After twenty more minutes of discussion, Hotch had come to a decision. “Well, welcome to the team, Dr. L/N. I can take you now to meet the rest of the team if you’d like.” Y/N nodded, standing to their feet and following the man out of his office. They followed him down the walkway to another room in which a group of people sat.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?”

The group of five people looked up in unison. “Everyone, meet the newest member of our team, Dr. Y/N L/N. Please make them feel welcome. I’ve got to get back to my office.” With that, Hotch left the room, leaving Y/N standing there awkwardly, waiting for someone to speak up.

“Told you that you’d do fine.”

Y/N laughed softly at Derek’s teasing tone. He stood up, pointing to everyone and introducing them to Y/N. Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia, and Spencer Reid. Her new team.

Y/N had yet to meet this “Spencer” everyone talked about, but they mentioned he was around somewhere, so they’d cross paths eventually.

“It’s really nice to meet you all.” Y/N smiled, shaking hands with everyone. After a while, Y/N walked downstairs to get a cup of coffee. A tall man with sandy brown hair and a satchel strapped over his shoulder stood at the coffee machine. Y/N poured themself a cup and added creamer and sugar.

“Did you know that Americans drink 3 coffee cups a day on average, which equates to 400 million cups per day and 146 billion cups per year?”

Y/N looked up at the man who stood there with one hand awkwardly in his pocket, and the other holding his coffee cup. “Huh, I had no idea. But, it makes sense. Coffee’s addicting.” Y/N smiled, shrugging softly. They took a sip of the hot liquid, humming in response to the delicious taste.

“Are you new here?”

Y/N nodded. “I just got hired with the BAU. I’m Dr. Y/N L/N. You?” Spencer nodded, making a mental note of their title. Finally, another doctor like him. “I’m, uh, Dr. Spencer Reid.” Y/N’s eyes lit up. Finally, they met every single member of the team.

“Nice to meet you, Dr.”

“Ditto, Dr.”

r is typing...

and there you have it! my first platonic and gender neutral fic! i hope you enjoyed! thank you again for the request <3

r is signing off...

click here to join the taglist!

taglist: @liltimmyst @elsiebishh @psychosociogentleman @louderfortheback

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #requests open #reqs open #request #criminal minds #spencer reid #rhyanwritesstuff

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mare-noctis-studios · 2 years

Text

Moments: Meeting the BAU

Jennifer Jareau

Naturally the first person you meet is the Media Liaison, Agent Jennifer Jareau. Her smiling face waiting for you near the doors of the Violent Crimes Taskforce bullpen helped calm the nerves storming in your stomach as the soft cries of “boo!” follow you.

“Hey.” she said, handing over the manila folder as you flip the bird to the rest of your teammates. “Copy of your contract, the packet with all the introductory information for the BAU, your new ID, and the copy of your release form for your unit chief.”

“Thanks” you said, tucking the form under one arm and giving her a smile back. “I can’t believe there’s only a week to go now.”

Agent Jareau laughed. “Yes, well, get ready for your life to become infinitely more chaotic. Once Monday morning comes around you’re at my beck and call.”

“I look forward to it Agent Jareau.” You shake her hand, grinning as she fixed you with a faux frown.

“JJ, please. I’ll introduce you to the team Monday morning pending any cases that crop up over the weekend. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”

She smiles, waves to the rest of your team and heads out, leaving you alone to the various exaggerated sobs of Senan and Kurt.

“So it’s real” Senan cried from where he laid dramatically over the divider between your desks. “You’re actually leaving us.”

You laugh, putting the folder inside your backpack and smacking him lightly on the head. “Shut it Harrington, you’ll still see me around. I’ll just be higher up in the chain. Providing the profiles, not just acting on them.”

Nothing made you laugh harder than the cake Kurt brought out at the farewell drinks that Friday night.

Goodbye TRAITOR written in bright blue icing followed by jk we love you in smaller green underneath stared back at you through tears of laughter as you grab your partner in a headlock.

“Idiots, the lot of you” you laugh, wiping away the tears as your Unit Chief began slicing and serving. “I will miss you though, we did some good work together”

Martha Kinnard, your Unit Chief, handed you a slice with a smile. “I’m proud of you Y/N, making it into the BAU is a big achievement, especially when you’ll be working under Agent Hotcher.”

You duck your head, sipping your beer to forgo having to respond as your team gives knowing chuckles.

“I mean we’ve all heard the rumours” Miles said, eyebrows quirking up conspiratorially. “The man is a hard-ass”

“He is a good agent” Martha countered, sipping her wine slowly. “He has high standards for his unit yes, but only because they do the leg-work to keep the paperwork on our desks minimal. I’ve worked on several task-forces with both him and Agent Rossi - you’ll be in good hands Y/N.”

“Of course she is going to smash it.” Casey, the final agent in your team, said while pressing a kiss to your temple. “She’s smart, and sexy, and those UnSubs won’t know what has hit them. You just have to promise me that no one is going to take my role of work-wife while you’re out defending the innocent from America’s worst.”

You turn to fully envelope Casey in a tight hug, tucking her head into your neck as you press a kiss to her hairline. “You’re my only work-wife Cass, no one is going to replace you, or my husband, or my son, or my mom” you said, looking at Senan, Kurt, and Martha in turn laughing at the mixture of proud, teary faces staring back at you.

#criminal minds #jj #jennifer jareau #a.j. cook #bau #fbi #meeting the bau #writing #creative writing #drabble #jennifer jareau x reader #jj x reader #fandom-files: moments #silver-writes #x reader #the fandom files #k.e.birch

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amberjazmyn · 7 months

Text

bau team one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - "i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi, if i was scared, i-i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!"

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - set in season fifteen, ssa savannah kingsmill is killed via a child that was being held hostage by the unsub, the kid accidentally misfired after they tried to aim for the unsub but accidentally aimed for savannah. you are with the entire team as you breathe out your last words and breathe your last breath as you die in spencer's arms.

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - death, blood, tears, angst, swearing, depressing - the usual criminal minds warnings

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - as mentioned in the description, this is set in season fifteen so, for the next chapter, i'm going to do a part two to this except, it'll be savannah's actress, lillianna who is being killed off/ saying her final goodbye to the show so, enjoy this chapter

part two masterlist

- - -

savannah knew she needed to be careful, everyone in the fbi knew how careful you needed to be with unsubs or even the victims that the unsubs had held hostage, however, it seemed as if it hadn't crossed her mind at how desperate the child who was currently being held hostage was to escape.

"...agent kingsmill, are you okay? do you need any assistance?" supervisory special agent dr spencer reid, savannah's boyfriend, questioned, his head turning over his shoulder since his back was turned away from savannah as she stood in front of the unsub, the poor kid was being used as a body shield

"ahh..no, i..i should be fine agent reid but, do see if you can get a clear shot and see if maybe prentiss and alvez can too!" the agent turned to smile at her brown-haired, nevadian boy genius boyfriend, feeling a surge of confidence that she could take down the unsub whilst also making sure the child stayed alive

except when it came to the planning of her takedown, agent savannah kingsmill wasn't as careful as she thought she was.

supervisory special agent savannah kingsmill was quite confident in her profiling skills and her fieldwork. she was utterly outstanding in her marksmanship and was highly skilled, which was why she and dr spencer reid, made an excellent team since they were both skilled in the field and as profilers. not only were they dating each other, but they were also both child prodigies from las vegas, nevada and childhood best friends who joined the fbi academy together at the ripe young age of twenty-two - a special request from senior supervisory special agent jason gideon who at the time was the unit chief of the behavioural analysis unit because they were still too young to join the unit since the official age to join the fbi was at least twenty-three but younger than thirty-seven. however, sometimes, due to being human, agent kingsmill would sometimes get blindsided which would cause her to miss her usual quick snap-of-the-finger reaction time. this time, her small misjudgement, and not being able to realise the unsub's intentions had huge consequences because agent kingsmill was not quick enough.

the unsub had a realisation of what was about to happen to her, now knowing that the people in her house were fbi agents, she noticed one of them, unlike the rest of them, wasn't wearing their bulletproof vest, which was done in a bid to hopefully confuse the unsub. when, the unsub brought her gun up ready to shoot the unsuspecting agent whose back was facing the unsub, the reason being that she was communicating with her fellow agents luke alvez, emily prentiss, jennifer jareau and dr spencer reid. the kid, who had now managed to grab the other gun that had been seized by the unsub, tried to shoot their captor who had been stepping ever so closer to savannah. only for spencer's loud warning to his girlfriend that ended up alerting both the unsub and the child. this then caused the huge consequence that ended with savannah getting shot just below her chest.

the little boy, eight-year-old jasper had fired the gun, completely fearful and with his eyes closed, only hoping he had shot the right person. after another shot was heard and the person loudly fell to the floor, clutching the leg that had been shot. and only then does the little eight-year-old open his eyes and his eyes widen and tears well in his eyes as he realises who he shot and who spencer had shot in the leg. jasper had accidentally shot savannah, the agent who had been trying to talk down the unsub and spencer had shot marianna coats, the unsub who had been holding the boy hostage and who was about to shoot savannah, in her leg to immobilise her so it would be easier for her to be arrested and taken down to the station.

a sudden delayed gasp of air came out of the young agent's mouth, from the reverberation of the gunshot wound through her chest and then the second gunshot to the unsub's leg, the kid weeping openly, having no clue who it was he had shot in his desperation of wanting to be rescued and found alive. the second savannah started to fall to the floor, spencer aimlessly chucked his gun to the floor after injuring marianna, alvez, jj and prentiss holstering their own as they then rushed over to their fellow agent, hoping they could save her life whilst a police officer had come to take little jasper to safety.

"savannah!" spencer yelled, his gun aimlessly falling to the floor as he dropped to his knees, grabbing his girlfriend as she bled and softly adjusted her to his lap before she could even properly fall to the ground

jj, emily and luke followed suit and joined spencer, calling, screaming for medics through their wired microphones as the police officer finally took jasper to safety.

"agent kingsmill is down, i repeat agent kingsmill is down. unsub is injured and has been removed and the child has been removed safely. we need a medic!" luke and jj scream into their wires as emily and spencer try everything they can in stopping savannah's blood loss from her gunshot wound

savannah was fading pretty quickly as she struggled to catch her breath, her own blood starting to choke her as spencer was beside himself

"what did you do, sav? what...what even happened? you turned away for just a second to talk to me what..." spencer was panicking, he wasn't thinking straight, frantic in trying to stop the bleeding and savannah tried her hardest to keep her eyes open as emily also started to panic

"i...i didn't do anything apparently, spence..." the dying girl responded, a small and cracked weak sounding laugh coming from the girl as she tried to stay positive, sarcastic and sassy (maybe with a little pinch of stubbornness)

"... oh for god's sake sav, don't be sarcastic and stubborn with me right now! what did you do, what even happened? we were right there with you, tell us, we want to help you!" spencer grumbled out in distress, trying his hardest not to forget about protocol as he angrily wiped away a falling tear with his shoulder as he and emily continued to press on his girlfriend's gunshot wound

"oh, spence, i was just trying to be funny but, if you really want to know i...i *sharp breath* i was trying to silently communicate with you guys. i...i must have been blindsided or didn't think clearly since it was clear the unsub had realised my deception and tried to take me down but the...the little boy jasper. he...he must have gotten frightened or desperate and tried to shoot her himself but he misfired accidentally when you yelled out your warning spence. you...you must have alerted both marianna and jasper. i...i think jasper meant to shoot marianna, not...not me..." it was clear that savannah was getting weaker and only talking was making it worse, spencer whimpered in fear and emily clenched her jaw, spencer had never known life without her with him

"sav, why did you take your kevlar off?" spencer whimpered, the sudden realisation that no one else had picked up as he tried his hardest to stop his girlfriend and his fellow agent from bleeding out to her death in his lap, savannah smiling sheepishly at her boyfriend

"i...i didn't want a distressed reaction from marianna if she saw the fbi logo. she isn't intellectually challenged like we originally profiled her to be, she is highly intelligent that has diagnosed schizophrenia, just like your mom, spence. it was clear that she had knowledge that law enforcement was coming for her. i...i just didn't want this exact situation to happen so, in order to make her surrender calmly, i decided to take off my bulletproof vest and wanted to see if i could talk her down and give us jasper without the use of any more harm..." savannah clapped back with a weak roll of her eyes, spencer letting out a choked laugh that was also a sob as he shook his head, emily sharing a look with spencer and then savannah

"you do realise how stupid that sounds right, kingsmill, especially for someone as skilled as you?" luke alvez then tearfully spoke up as savannah smiled

"yeah, you think i didn't know that, mr smartarse!" savannah weakly clapped back as she went to start laughing only to start coughing up the blood that was starting to block her airways as the agents started to panic - emily and jj screaming for the medics again - why where the taking so long, there were supposed to be waiting just outside of the bloody building

"please don't laugh sav, it...it'll only make your pain worse..." spencer squeaked out as savannah nodded her head, trying her best to keep as calm as she could

except, it didn't last for very long when they heard a bright but confused voice, they then remembered who else in their team could have potentially had eyes and ears in this case since there was only one person who had the skills to hack into the unsub's live feed... penelope garcia, their technical analyst who had been there the entire time.

"don't make who laugh, what will make what pain worse?" garcia's voice sounded with worry but her usual cheeriness as the agents all shared worried looks with each other

emily gulped but spoke up, "garcia...how...how long have you been watching through this live feed?" emily's voice was steady but fearful, penelope shouldn't have to watch via video call the brutal death of one of her very best friends by the underage kid who had accidentally misfired, hoping that he was shooting his captor, not the people who were trying to save him

"after it was confirmed that jasper was saved and that marianna had been injured on the scene, why? is everyone okay, did all of my crime fighters make it out alright and alive?" penelope questioned, just praying on whatever god she still believed in that all of her furry crime-fighter friends survived another case and unsub takedown

"umm...how...how many gunshots did you say you heard, penelope?" luke then questioned as he turned around to look at spencer and savannah, closing his eyes briefly before turning back, his face returning to emotionless and stoic

"one...why? is there something i haven't been told, agent alvez?" penelope's voice raised slightly, her jokingly disappointed voice making an appearance as luke visibly gulped, slyly nodding his head when penelope saw the ever-so sly nod and her facial expressions immediately changed

"umm... maybe there..."

"...penelope, there were two gunshots heard. one hit and injured marianna, delivered by spence and the other...the other one hit savannah, delivered by jasper, marianna's last victim that we managed to save without any fatal injuries. he...the little boy wasn't trying to shoot her, he...he was...he had his eyes closed and his head turning away only hoping that he was aiming for marianna but instead he misfired and shot savannah..." emily shakily explained as penelope felt like she was choking as she spoke up

"...is...is savannah okay? like is...is she still alive, emily?" penelope dared to ask, her voice fearful but filled with some of her selfish hope that once again, savannah would remain indestructible just like she always was to penelope and the rest of the team

"pen...she...savannah hadn't gone in with her bulletproof vest, she was struck just underneath her chest. spencer has her bleeding out in his lap, we...we're not sure where our medics are and we...we aren't really confident in savannah having a good enough chance for survival if the medics don't show up in the next three or five minutes...please, pen, contact or wire us through to tara, rossi and matthew, we need as much help as we can get!" emily, who wasn't mentioned earlier but is now the unit chief of the bau, was panicking as spencer, her and luke desperately tried to get savannah's blood loss under control

whilst those three were doing that, jj was running around like a headless chicken trying to contact and find those goddamn medics and see if she could see them coming.

"pen...penelope, are...are you still there?" savannah's voice was the quietest and weakest it had ever sounded, so quiet however everyone could still hear it, penelope included as their hearts shattered

"yes baby cakes, i'm still here, i'm not leaving," penelope spoke up sweetly as tara and matthew barged into the abandoned school gym marianna had been keeping her victims in

emily then reported back to penelope that tara and matthew had arrived and rossi was helping jj figure out where those damned medics were.

"spence...spence?" savannah whimpered out, trying to lift her head up as spencer's tear-filled eyes made contact with her dying ones

"yes, love?" spencer whimpered out, his breath shaky as savannah took in a sharp breath before continuing

"where...where's rossi and...and jj?" she whimpered, every other agent besides jj and rossi was now either wired or physically with her in her final dying moments and it scared her

savannah didn't want to die without all of her bau family with her, meaning that if she could have derek morgan, aaron hotchner, jason gideon, kate callahan and alex blake with her as well, that would have been even better because that to the young agent equated to her dying alone and that, dying alone, was the agent's biggest fear.

"they...they're trying to find the medics sweetheart, they'll be back soon just, please...please hold on a little bit longer," spencer sniffled as he held his girlfriend closer to his chest, not bothered by the blood from his girlfriend that covered his cream-coloured button-up shirt

"i...i'm so sorry spence...i...i shouldn't have tried to be the hero. i shouldn't have taken my bulletproof vest off...i...i just wanted jasper to be safe..." savannah trailed off, her voice terrified and regretful as it continued to sound weak and quiet

"...oh...sav...don't apologise sweetheart. you...you didn't think this was going to happen..." spencer's mind and his one hundred and eighty-seven iq were completely slashed due to the trauma and his mind splitting off in different directions - his emotions becoming the thing that controlled him as savannah smiled, holding in a laugh that would cause her to cough up more blood

"...no, i didn't think i'd be getting shot at or dying today at all, spence. i mean, i know it wasn't...wasn't on my twenty-nineteen/twenty-twenty bingo card to die but, look at where we are i guess.." savannah weakly screeched as she then turned her head to spit out some blood that caught in her throat, spencer choking back a sob

"no...no, it...it wasn't...i'm sorry sav..." the boy wonder swallowing himself up as he cradles savannah closer to his chest, bringing his knees up to support the back of her head and using his hand as another support

"...where are these bloody medics?!" luke screamed as she sat directly opposite spencer and savannah as jj and rossi shrugged their shoulders simultaneously

no one knew where these bloody medics were, surely they hadn't gone too far considering they were specifically told by the police and fbi to follow their strict orders to stay in close proximity to the school gym just in case marianna escalated at any point.

"luke...luke, s...stop, please," savannah croaked out, reaching her hand over to her fellow agent who had become one of her closest male friends besides spencer, derek when he was with the team and matthew

"what...what? no..no, sav, please...let the medics help you! they...they can't be too far away now!" it was a complete and utter delusion of spencer to say that out loud but he wasn't going to give up on his person

his person who has constantly stayed by his side during every single event, significant or not, throughout his whole entire life from childhood to them joining the fbi together and he was not going to allow his person to leave him tonight, not on his watch or the rest of their teams watch.

"i...i said no, spencer! luke, stop it! i order you to bring jj and rossi here right now. tell...tell them to stop trying to get the medics here! if...if i'm going to die, i don't want any of my team to be gone. if...if i am going to die, which, i...i will be tonight, i...i want to die with all of us together one last time, please..." savannah spluttered out as spencer's tears became uncontrollable as he nudged his teary cheeks closer to savannah's face, making her smile under the wetness of the tears that cooled the girl down

"i don't fucking care, savannah, you are not going to die! i...i am so sorry, i didn't give you the help you clearly needed. i...i shouldn't have ignored you even though you said you had it under control...i should have fucking known the second it became too quiet and that you didn't have your vest on that i should have become more aware and turned around and reacted quicker than i did... i should have made you mad over me helping you take down marianna and have you still alive than having you bleed out to death on my lap. i mean...what would you rather me be doing? watching you die in my lap or watch yourself yell at me because you always and continuously show anyone and everyone how invincible you are and how incredible you are at handling every single unsub on your own...i mean, i know what i'd prefer, do you?" spencer was going mad, he was hyperventilating and panicking, his tears falling like raging waterfalls now as he realised he was no longer going to have his person alive any longer

he wasn't going to have his number one support person, the girl that he loved more than he loved anyone in the entire world. the girl that he wanted to get married to and have kids with and continue to take down even more unsubs as his chest suddenly constricted in pain all at the same time.

"spencer...spence, please calm down babe, everything is okay. i'd of course rather be doing anything else but what we're doing right now...but, there was clearly a reason why i wasn't paying much attention and lost all of my reaction time...there is a reason why jasper frantically and accidentally shot me in the mistake of marianna. i don't know what reason since it's a pretty messed up reason and i know hardly any of us here believe in this crap, sorry em, but i...i do believe it was a sign telling me that it's my time to go and let my boyfriend and the rest of my glorious and smart team grow up and transform into something even better..."

"...i...i don't want something better..." spencer choked out as his lips trembled, still holding his girlfriend tight and the rest of the team nodded their heads in agreement, penelope included through the live feed

this team didn't want better they wanted savannah and they wanted her alive. they didn't want the thought of having to introduce a new team member who would probably never live up to the expectation and skill level that was their savannah kingsmill.

this made savannah smile with a hint of sadness, "i'm sorry but...i think this was the sign to tell me that i should have left the bau and i should have left ages ago so, emily, grab my gun and credentials since i'll no longer need them anymore..." savannah finished off what spencer interrupted as he continued to shake his head and cry softly

savannah was the behavioural analysis unit's best profiler and field agent that had ever seen, even when she first joined when she and spencer were twenty-two. her smile was radiant, it lit up every room or scenario she walked into and it was the best consolation for families of the victims of the unsubs they fought almost every week. she was easily the glue that kept the team together during the difficult times and it was obvious she was very loved by everyone. she was also the most gorgeously made girl as well, her blonde hair so long it was often mislabeled as a wig (derek getting a lot of heat for his comment about that), her blue eyes the prettiest and deepest blue ever seen and the most enchanting, her nose the cutest button nose anyone had ever seen and her entire face filled up with small golden blonde freckles that always sparkled in the sunshine. it was also well known how intelligent she was, just like her boyfriend and fellow genius dr spencer reid. she was just the best person anyone could meet and the one that was the most reliable in the whole entire bau.

this was why, at any time, she was placed in a high-risk, dangerous situation, the team hoped and prayed to a god that sometimes even they struggled to believe in for the hope that once again, savannah would remain indestructible and walk out of the school shooting or bomb siege as if nothing bad had happened. however, this time, clearly, savannah was very much not invincible or indestructible. sure, she was smart, unbelievably gorgeous and the best fbi agent the bau had ever had but, that meant nothing to a schizophrenic thirty-year-old lady who was kidnapping kids under the age of ten after she lost her own child whilst experiencing schizophrenic breaks - the cause of the crimes being committed. to marianna coats, supervisory special agent savannah kingsmill was nothing but a threat to her that was going to cause harm to her and then take away whom, in her schizophrenic break, thought was her son and that was something she couldn't allow again. that was until jasper raised an undeclared second gun and accidentally shot the fbi agent, with his misfire thinking it was marianna that he had shot. when it came to the girl's final goodbyes to her boyfriend and their team, it was extremely hard to watch the girl that was usually so untouchable finally start to deteriorate and not have the opportunity to save her.

for spencer, knowing that they would never watch their favourite geeky shows together or read their geeky books together or have the ability to talk smack about the other fbi divisions or go on undercover missions together. or to have the chance in being the best tag team ever again made his insides twist as his chest constricted in pain again. for the rest of the team, jj, luke, emily, tara, penelope, matthew and david, knowing that they'd never get to watch their resident badass kick down the doors and talk the unsubs down again or play endless games of drunk never have i ever or drunk truth or dare on the jet home from a tough case or just the simple family things they all did as a team made them wish they did those drinking games and simple family things a whole lot more often. all the things they suddenly regretted and wished they could have done with savannah were now all surfacing and the physical pain it gave them was undeniable, and it made them feel sick to their stomachs that they'll never get to do those things they wish they got to do with her ever again. tears sprung to their eyes that, after this, they would be returning back to penelope and quantico with all but their full team alive, breaking their promise to penelope that they'd all come back alive. like the promise, they made to each other that they'd come home safe.

"luke promise me something...okay?" savannah's voice deteriorates with every word and breath, trying her hardest to say all her goodbyes, everyone listening in so they didn't miss one single thing their girl has to say before it's too late

"anything, what do i need to promise, sav?" luke questions as he makes direct eye contact with the girl as she faintly smiles

"please...please re...remind spencer how much i love him and that...i...i'm sorry that i broke my promise of us coming back home alive together..." savannah's entire body rattled as the bloody cough left her mouth and she continued, spencer's cries shaking the both of them as he holds her

"...he...he needs to know that this was never my intention but that i...i don't regret what i did and the things i said to him before we came here. i really did want to step down from the team for a little bit and get married and then have a couple of kids and lay low until they were old enough for me to slowly start to come back. i'm just...i'm so sorry that spencer's never going to fulfil that life with the girl of his dreams which is how i know he saw me...i'm just sorry that he's lost another person in his life that he's loved," savannah grimaced as she felt her entire body become weaker as spencer bit his lip, trying to hold back another sob

"but please...please promise spencer something..." savannah squeaked out again, luke nodding his head as everyone watched, struggling with their own emotions as well

"what is it, bubs?" luke spoke up, his bottom lip trembling as he tried hold back tears and savannah smiled at the use of the team's universal nickname for her

"i...i want you guys to promise spencer that, even though he can't have his true dream life with me, he can still have it with another girl that he falls in love with. i...i want him to get married to another girl, i want him to have kids with her, i...i want him to be happy. i want to be able to look down on him and see him laugh to the point where he's crying and i want him to cry so much that he doesn't have any more to cry but ends up laughing afterwards so it doesn't look like he's a wuss *tearful giggles* even though we all know he actually is, okay? i...i just want him to be happy after i'm gone, i don't want to die and then watch him let his life go to shit just because i'm gone, okay? can...could you promise that for me, luke?" savannah begged weakly as luke nodded his head, the rest of her team also nodding their heads - promising to their best friend that they would make sure that their boy wonder doesn't end up wasting his life away

"i promise bubs," luke whispered as savannah smiled before moving over to her boyfriend for one last verbal goodbye since she knew that the others didn't need a goodbye said to them, they all knew how much she meant to them and how much they meant to her

savannah suddenly panicked for a second because she couldn't see the camera or hear where penelope was in the same way she could with the rest of her team, "pen...penelope, where are you?" taking a breath before responding, penelope composed herself

"i'm right here dollface, i'm still here, i haven't left you," penelope assured the dying girl who just squeaked back in response before directing herself towards her boyfriend, saying her final farewell to him

"spencer, spence, spencaroo, my precious boy wonder. you've been my best friend my entire life and i thought i was going to marry you and have our future children someday. but i thought my life couldn't have been any better because i knew that with you by my side, i was invincible and i was able to do everything and anything i put my mind to. i cannot thank you enough for...for the happiness and life you brought to me every single day throughout our beautiful friendship and our relationship. have...having you as my boyfriend has been nothing but the best part of my life and i wish i could spend the rest of my days with you but, i can't and i am so beyond sorry that due to my own stupidity that i'm just another person in your life that you've gotten close with and had a precious relationship with only for me to just have it taken away from you again like all the other ones. i am so sorry that i won't be able to marry you or...or have beautiful kid wonders with you... i...i'm sorry that i'll never get to cuddle or kiss you again. i'm sorry that i'll never get to call you spence or spencaroo ever again...i'm sorry that i'll never get to make you breakfast and coffee in bed ever again. i'm...i'm also sorry that i had to do the one thing i promised you i'd never do. i am so sorry that i'm leaving you all...all alone after i promised you i never would...i'm so sorry spencer reid..." savannah was struggling, everyone could tell she was struggling but also that she was trying to hold on for just that little bit longer just in case the medics did end up arriving and got the agent to a hospital

savannah's speech was slurring, she was choking on blood more frequently but trying to hide it by attempting to keep the coughing at a minimum and she was fighting her hardest to keep her eyes open for longer. and spencer was beside himself as he sobbed, his brain in a complete and utter mental breakdown, malfunctioning in overstimulation of emotions, his knowledge of statistics of what to do completely gone out of the window so he had nothing that could possibly provide him with any comfort.

"why aren't you scared to die, sav? please...please don't die, sav! don't leave me!" spencer wept as he tried to hold savannah's dying, heavy body closer as savannah weakly and unattractively giggled

then, her mouth opened and she uttered her last words with the last part of whatever remaining strength she had left as everyone watched, tears leaving their eyes, penelope the only other team member weeping apart from spencer.

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi...if i was scared, i...i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" savannah croaked out, wanting to make her team laugh just one more time before her death

her entire body all of a sudden relaxed in spencer's grip as her eyes closed, her mouth upturned into a small smile as her final breath came and went just as quickly as spencer had the time to comprehend savannah's last words, her last coherent sentence with that last burst of strength that she had accumulated out of god knows where.

and straight away, everyone gulped and tears streamed down their faces as they remained silent and calm, spencer in frantic panic mode. everything he knew normally had suddenly gone dormant out of the door, he was trying everything and anything he could to try and get savannah to wake up. shaking her, hitting her, yelling at her, spencer was trying every little thing he could, breaking fbi protocol. he was trying everything he could to force savannah to wake up. however, nothing was working because savannah's heart had stopped beating, her lungs stopped producing oxygen to her brain...savannah had just stopped entirely.

"sav...sav, come on now! savannah! wake up!!" spencer screamed, his voice becoming louder and more distressed as he continued to shake the body of his deceased girlfriend to no avail as his sobs became louder and louder

no one could watch this go on any longer so, luke took control, unable to stomach spencer's grievous screams and wails anymore. so, without a word or point of eye contact with matthew simmons, the two agents decided that matthew was going to pick up savannah and move her away to cover her up so the medics, who had only just now decided to show up could hand her to the coroner's office. luke then went over to calm down the distraught boy wonder who just wished that for once, his bloody girlfriend had hesitated to take off her bulletproof vest so that she didn't have to die from a stupid and easily avoidable gunshot wound to the chest.

"spencer...spence...reid! stop it...just stop!" luke called out before he could get the screaming, thrashing and sobbing agent, his best friend to calm down and just stop

"luke...she...she's gone!" spencer wailed as he tried to pull out of luke's strong grip and the older agent nodded his head as he held the more experienced younger agent closer

"i...i know spence, i know. i know she's gone and it huts, it hurts like hell but, what sav said before she died is absolutely correct. she knew, just like we all did, what she was signing up for when she joined the fbi...when you both joined the fbi together and if she was scared, she would have already left. and now more than ever, we can't stop just because she's gone. we have to keep going because they will always be another child or another innocent life that needs to be saved and another unsub that needs to be caught," luke tried his hardest to soothe the younger agent and calm him down but, there was no easier way of the comfort to console him

spencer then became mad but he didn't say anything even though luke could sense that spencer wanted to question why on earth savannah did it but, he refrained from saying such a sentence because he could never totally question something his girlfriend did. especially if it was a matter of life and death and children were involved somehow. but, he just wished that savannah had paid more attention or at least kept her bulletproof vest on so that even if she was in this situation, she could have survived, even with the medics taking the sweet old jolly time as though they too weren't racing against the clock of life and death themselves.

twenty-four hours later and the bau was still in sarasota, florida. the team were still needing to question marianna coats after she had been seen by the medics and formally arrested by the sarasota police and also question the little boy, jasper collins and after that, take a visit to the medical examiner so they could check out the coroner's report of savannah to then make a report on it back home in quantico, virigina. one whole day had passed since spencer had his girlfriend die in his arms, her blood still unwashed from his cream button-up shirt and grey coloured dress pants that he had worn the previous day. the poor boy couldn't fall asleep that night because he knew that the exact moment his eyelashes touched each other for even a blink, he would travel to seeing savannah being shot again and the crimson liquid leaving her chest as he caught her, lowering the both of them to the ground all over again.

whilst the rest of the team was finishing up the case of marianna coats and jasper collins, spencer sat in the sarasota pd's bullpen in silence, knowing that although he was the smartest in that room after a regular case, because it ended with him losing the love of his life, he wouldn't be the smartest nor the greatest deal of help after having to witness the death of his girlfriend right in front of him. all he would do if he even looked at the photo of his girlfriend, which had now been sticky taped next to the photos of the other victims of marianna's crimes, on the whiteboard, he would break down and cry hysterically and inconsolably. it truly seemed like spencer's one hundred and eighty-seven iq and his entire encyclopedic knowledge had been taken away by the click of a finger. he felt absolutely useless now that savannah was dead and he was all alone again.

on her way out of the rooms that had marianna and jasper detained, emily walked past spencer to check in on him. sliding down the wall, the raven-haired girl joined him, her legs folding over themselves as she slowly moved her hand closer to spencer's, when she saw no hesitation or signal for her to stop, she continued and linked her fingers with his.

"...you're still thinking about sav, aren't you spence?" emily's voice was soft, understanding but filled with her own grief for her friend as spencer's lip trembled and he nodded his head, his eyes darting all around the sarasota bullpen

"emily...i...i'm so tired but i know that if i go to sleep or even just close my eyes for a second, i... i'll watch sav...her...get shot again as i catch her, her blood covering my shirt and pants as i lower the both of us to the ground. how...how do i move on from her...how do i move on from this, em? i...i'm so lost and not a single statistic or smart remark that i'd normally have can save me...what do i do?" spencer's voice was quiet as tears that he thought had been cried all night last night trailed down his cheeks and he simply refused to close his eyes to stop them

emily takes in a big breath before she squeezes spencer's hand, "she knows that spence, but she also knows that you'd hate yourself even more, for the rest of your life, if you wasted your life away. savannah wants you to be happy and to someday leave the bau. she even made luke promise you for god sake that you would have kids, get married and have that grandiose house, just, with a girl that's got you so head over heels and tied down to the point where even after three years of marriage, you still stutter your words and trip over your own feet because you're still so in love with her," emily spoke softly as she caressed spencer's trembling hands because she knew that everything she had just said, spencer wanted with savannah and now, he had to find with someone else?

"she's allowing you to move on because she knows how miserable you'll be if you don't allow it for yourself," emily continues, a small smile on her face as spencer finally looks at her and nods his head timidly

emily then got them both standing and she pulled him into a hug before whispering something into his ear.

"sav loved and still loves you so much, spence. she may not have said it verbally but, she made the entire team promise her that we would make sure you find another girl. she even made luke promise her that he'd tell you that she does love you and how sorry she is that we couldn't all come back home alive," emily and spencer pulled out of the hug as she gave her friend one more comforting look and spencer nodded his head, speaking up softly

"i know what i signed up for when i decided to join the fbi, if i was scared...if i was scared, i would have made the intelligent decision to leave when emily faked her death to escape doyle!" he tearfully whispered, choking up on his words as he and emily giggled softly at the choice of words their fellow agent and girlfriend had picked for her last words reminding them that they'd never forget how comedic the young agent could be, even in what was a scary and heartbreaking moment

- - -

rewriting this was another fun adventure and i hope it's better than the original and now i have to rewrite the second part that i made for this!

ok ily bye xx

wc; 6828

#angst #spencer reid #bau one shot #emily prentiss #derek morgan #penelope garcia #davidrossi

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