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cellard0ors · 1 year

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They're a united front now, but it doesn't mean they always agree.

"How about Harriet?"

"Ew. No."

Travis frowns, even as he continues to rub Laura's sore feet. She's over thirty weeks in and enormous. She's been moody and unhappy, but Travis has been doing his best to keep her spirits up.

He owes it to her.

While his absence is far behind them, he has no problem groveling until the day he dies if he has to. Laura loves him. She forgave him. She's having their baby.

He can do no less.

Still, "What's wrong with Harriet?"

"I don't know - Harriet Hackett just sounds strange. I don't like it."

Travis slows his rubdown of her toes and looks over his shoulder at her, "So...they're going to have my last name?"

Laura looks a little startled, as if she just realized what she said. Travis swallows, "Because, I mean...we-we just started dating..."

"No, yeah. No, I know..." She looks unsure now and he turns to her fully, "I mean...I'm okay with them having my last name. But, it does have a bad history behind it. We can go with Kearney if you want."

Laura's lips twitch, "Well, I am the alpha in this relationship..."

"Ha, ha." He returns dryly and she gives an official chuckle, "Seriously though, I think it's okay for them to have your last name. We can start a new history for your family name. A happy one."

She notes a gleam in his eyes and he clears his throat before going back to her feet. Laura remembers thinking Travis was really cut off emotionally.

Turns out that's not true.

If anything, he's brimming with feelings, his current one a cross between happiness, pride, and tears. Such a secret softie.

"Alright then. How about Alexander? If it's a boy?"

"Again. Pass."

She can practically hear him roll his eyes, "You haven't liked any of the names I've suggested."

"That's not true. I liked Sam or Samantha. I used to have a friend with that name in elementary school. She was great."

'Okay, so...one?"

"Oh," Laura now rolls her eyes, "Like you've liked all of my suggestions."

"I haven't shot any of them down."

"What about Max?" She asks with a smirk. It was tossed out as a sick, dark joke she knows she shouldn't have made, but did anyway. The look he shoots her now just reconfirms that.

Regardless, she feels she's made her point, and just as she goes to settle back down she feels it. It's a full ache in her back, a tug at her belly and she frowns, confused.

But then it comes again, stronger, and she gasps, shooting upright. Travis looks at her in concern and Laura gasps, "I-? I think I'm having contractions."

His eyes go wide, "What? Now?"

"Mm hmm." She hums, a hand on her stomach and then there's another deep yank inside, like a menstrual cramp, but far worse, and she cries out. Travis looks horrified, "It can't be! It's too soon!"

"Well something is-nngah!" Is how it ends, because the next contraction is even worse than the last and she feels a cold sweat break out all over her body. Travis immediately gets to his feet, "Okay. Alright. Let's go."

He helps Laura up and does his level best to stay calm. Years as a police officer, even in a backwater like North Kill, must have helped, because Laura appreciates how he manages to get her from the house to the car to the hospital without freaking out once

However, once inside the hospital, as staff starts swarming around Laura, it's clear Travis is an emotional trainwreck.

He wasn't wrong.

It is early for Laura to give birth and she knows this even as nurses and her doctor talk her down, tell her everything is going to be alright. Yes, she's earlier than planned, but they're going to do their very best to take care of her and her baby.

The pain has ratcheted up to unbelievable levels and Laura is doing her best not to scream and failing miserably. She's calling out for Travis and someone keeps telling her why he wasn't allowed in but she could care less.

Her frantic shouts and panic must turn some sort of tide, because soon enough he is in the room with them and she's gripping one of his arms and crying, screaming, the pain immeasurable.

Laura lost an eye. She turned into a werewolf. This hurts far worse than those two combined. Her throat is raw from her cries and Travis is repeating her name gently and pressing his lips to one side of her head and holding her back just as tight as she is holding him.

The doctor tells her to bear down and push and she does - again and again and it feels like it's never going to end, this horrible misery and she's frantic about how the baby is doing and if they're okay even as she grunts and keeps doing as instructed.

Laura feels blind, deaf, and dumb in the throes of her agony but she thinks she hears something about the baby's head or their shoulders or how they're coming out, but it doesn't matter, because on the next struggling push she feels an unbelievable release.

All the stress and pain that had been beating down on her nonstop suddenly seems to rise as does a thin wail with it. Her baby's wail.

Travis is still holding her, but no longer is his face buried in her hair. Instead he looks at the tiny wriggling mass the doctor is holding and the nurses are all talking in awed hushes as both he and Laura hear, "It's alright. She's here, she's here."

"She-?" Travis repeats and the doctor lets out a windy laugh, as if he'd been holding his breath, "It's a girl "

Travis nearly collapses into Laura, Laura into him as they watch the doctor take special care of their itty bitty child.

There's a lot of talk about how, while she was born prematurely, the baby should be in fine health with the proper care. How while she's a week or two early that's better than some cases, she might just need more check ups than most newborns and so on.

Neither Travis or Laura really care or listen because all that matters is that their baby is alive. She's alive and she's with them and it feels like it takes forever (considering the baby has to spend some time in the neonatal intensive care unit), but eventually mother, father, and daughter are all together and alone in the hospital room.

Their newly born child is swaddled up against Laura's bare skin, their head resting on her breastbone and Laura's looking down at her with pure love.

Travis too, can't seem to take his eyes off his daughter and he has one hand resting on her back, his palm practically dwarfing her whole body.

Laura looks up at him and says, "Luna."

"Luna?"

She nods, "Like the moon."

"Yeah?"

Laura sighs, presses a very gentle kiss to her daughter's head, "It's how we met. Under the moonlight."

"Hmm. Not the best of meetings."

"True,"Laura sighs, "But one of the best things in my life came out of it."

Travis can't help but give an exhausted grin, "Her, I take it?"

"Yeah " Laura admits, "But you too."

Laura weakly reaches out for him with her free hand and he takes it, gives it a squeeze, even as he nods, "Okay. Luna."

He edges closer to the baby and whispers to her, "Luna Hackett."

Laura gives him a sleepy smile and he returns it. Luna, fast asleep but very happy, is unaware of her parents' smiles. She is also blissfully unaware of what an unexpected gift she is.

But she'll learn soon enough in time.

The end

#hackearney #my writing #travis x laura #unexpected gifts

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oldbutnotyetwise · 7 months

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Unexpected Gifts

I have said this before and it bears repeating here, every good thing that happens has some bad attached to it, and every bad thing that happens has some good attached.

As I am writing this I have crossed the one year anniversary since my diagnosis of ALS was confirmed at Sunnybrook Hospital. Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a rare neurological disease that affects motor neurons in the brain or spinal cord that affect voluntary muscle movement. Think of it like when you go to sleep, except in my case parts of my body are going to sleep never to wake again. I’ve lost the use of my legs, I’m losing the use of my left hand, and my ability to speak is being impaired. Eventually the muscles that allow me to breath and swallow will stop working. In some cases ALS also results in frontal lobe dementia, so your two options are having a healthy mind trapped inside a non-working body, or dementia where you still are trapped inside of a non-functioning body while you have no understanding of what is going on, or the burden you are placing on your caretakers.

So about now you should be saying, how can there be anything positive about having ALS? What good can possibly come from this Death Sentence? Well let’s ponder that question and see what we can come up with.

When given a terminal diagnosis I had a rather drastic shift on my perception of time. Prior to the diagnosis, I didn’t give time much thought, foolishly I thought that my time was almost like grains of sand on a large beach, almost endless. Once I received my diagnosis suddenly time became like the water in a canteen, something not to be wasted or used foolishly. So you are wondering why is this a good thing, well it is because I have been taught the lesson of Mindfulness. When you have lots of something it is hard not to take it for granted. When you have something that is limited and quickly running out then you appreciate it a lot more. You suddenly realize what an amazing gift time is. You suddenly have the wisdom not to waste your time on foolish things. You don’t waste your time on bad books, bad movies or with people you don’t want to spend time with. If you want to do something and you can, than you do, no longer putting things off for some day in the future because now you know that someday may not come. I wish that I had learned this lesson about the value of time much earlier in my life, but am grateful that I did learn it eventually and in turn have worked much harder at enjoying what remaining time that I have left.

Living in Canada, or in this case Ontario I have a government run Health Plan. On top of this I also have a benefit plan from my workplace until I am 65. I will spare you numerous sad stories of people in other provinces, or in the U.S. who were waiting for approval for the ALS drugs and after two years of waiting they finally get the letter advising they had been approved,,,,the day before they enter a Hospice. People who live in remote areas of provinces where they are hours and hours away from the nearest ALS Clinic, or even any medical assistance. We are now living just over an hour from the ALS Clinic at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, generally accepted to probably be the best one in Canada. I never really understood what a gift the pubic health care system was prior to this, but I do recognize how lucky I am in comparison to so many others.

I would guess that my ALS medications probably cost somewhere between 200 and 300 thousand dollars a year. My benefit plan is presently paying for my drugs, can you imagine not having coverage for drugs that could possibly help you? Where you have to decide between selling or mortgaging your home and draining your bank accounts to buy your medications or choosing to go without. Where medical decisions are based on dollar amounts instead of what is best for you? I am grateful for the gift of a benefit plan that allows me to take these expensive drugs in the hope that they are helping me.

I have met so many amazing people in the medical field since the first day I attended Sunnybrook. The entire team at Sunnybrook who compassionately care for their hundreds of patients, knowing that everyone they are caring for will eventually lose their fight, ALS remains undefeated. As well the nurses, ALS Society, and Community Care Team who all make this horrible disease a little more tolerable. I am grateful for the gift of all the caring people who work hard to look after me in such a kind, caring and compassionate way.

A disease such as ALS is expensive. The amount of medical or assistive equipment can be prohibitive, says the guy waiting for his $32,000 electric wheelchair. The items we have around the house are a collection of things people have given or loaned us, we have purchased new or used, or that we have been reimbursed for through my benefit plan. There is something called the ALS Loan Cupboard where people donate used medical equipment, let’s be honest, probably after their loved one dies. I presently have a walker, electric lift chair and an electric hospital bed all loaned to me from the loan cupboard. The list of medical equipment I require is constantly growing and already my life would be unbearable without it, so I am grateful for the gift of all this equipment that I have access to that helps me make it through my days.

I will wholeheartedly acknowledge that I find myself surrounded by the best possible friends. These are friends that take time out of their very busy lives to visit, or call, or email or set up video calls. Somehow the whole world is going on at an extremely hectic pace while my life is coasting to a stop. Most of the world continues on riding the merry go round of life, but a few people realize something important is going on and they are here for me. Together we exchange old memories, share embraces, shed a few tears and just generally stand by each other. When you are travelling a dark scary path and suddenly you find a trusted friend at your side you will notice your path becomes a lot less dark and scary. I am grateful for the gift of dear, treasured friends.

I have my dear sweet wife Robin here by my side from sun up to sun down working so very hard to look after me. I don’t think anyone else has someone as amazing as her, and some people are forced to go through this nightmare alone, which I can’t even begin to imagine how impossibly hard that would be. I am grateful for the gift of my loving wife Robin.

In Canada there is Medical Assistance In Dying, also known as MAID. If you have a terminal illness, you can fill out a form, meet with a Physician who should agree with your decision and sign off on the form. Then a minimum of three months later you meet with a second doctor go through the process again at which time you can select a day you want to end your life. You can change your date or back out at any time, and yes if you are wondering it is a surreal experience going through this process. I have friends travelling the same path as I am in the United States who would have to travel to another state to end their lives, as if this process isn’t difficult enough they have to travel to a strange place hundreds of miles away from their home and friends to end their suffering. I am grateful for the gift of living somewhere that I am treated as kindly as a beloved pet who is allowed to leave this world when their struggle to live becomes too much for them. Leaving this world in a kind compassionate manner, surrounded by loved ones, finally able to rest after fighting the good fight.

So I encourage you to always remember, every good thing that happens has bad attached, and very bad thing has good attached. So next time something bad happens to you I encourage you to look for the good. Yes you may have to look hard, yes it may be hard to find but I assure you it is there. Then once you find those good things I encourage you to focus on them rather than the bad things, I think that will help make your journey a bit easier.

#als #unexpected gifts #gratitude

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seavoice · 2 years

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out of context greywaren spoilers: one of the BEST things to come out of this book is that now mad world is a song i relate to ronan lynch instead of dark!betty cooper

#unexpected gifts #birdverse #ronan lynch #greywaren spoilers #not because of anything about the song IN THE BOOK. just vibes

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dargeereads · 1 year

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Unexpected Gifts by Elena Aitken

3 stars

audiobook

This was a very sweet, heartwarming, holiday story. The characters had past hurts that shaped their approach to their feelings, but everything was worked through as they learned to trust each other.

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kitdunsmore · 1 year

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#vintage paper #paper sample books #using vintage materials #unexpected gifts

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defeatdespair · 1 year

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Not so poor

At Walmart for a quick ordinary purchase, I found this marked-down hibiscus plant.It brought beauty to our summer for many weeks. Now it’s budding again. August, 2015 “Grace is not so poor a thing that it cannot present itself in any number of ways.” – Marilynne Robinson Have you ever gone into Target or Macy’s or Piggly Wiggly with one particular purchase in mind, and been so distracted by other…

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#awareness #beauty #blessings #details #grace #gratitude #hope #joy #seeing #surprises #unexpected gifts

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daylerogers · 1 year

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When You're Left With Better

photo courtesy of Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash They’ve left. Without a trace. Except for a box of pancake mix and a bowl of baked beans. The fourteen college students who stayed here for Spring break have left for the northern climes of Indiana, where winter still reigns and snow will welcome them home. The surprise was they left our home in better shape than when they came. I’m a good…

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#better with use #Bible #cleaning #Dayle Rogers #death #Eden #God #Jesus #life #spring break #Tip of My Iceberg #unexpected gifts #When You&039;re Left With Better #wilderness

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canisalbus · 23 days

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Alright.

#oh OH #!!!#ask and you shall receive :O #a certified creechur #going unhinged over the lil' boots #those are 100% Tove Jansson imagery #moominvalley and it's gender neutral high heels mwah #I think he must belong to the same genus of narrow anxious critters as sniff and fillyjonk #brain combusting because suddenly I have a terrible urge to reread moominvalley in november or something hhhrhrh #I'm not a rabid fan of that many things I don't collect merch and such #but moomins just spark joy every time and Jansson has been my personal idol since childhood #an unexpected niche thing but his makes me exceedinly happy #thank you!#;_;#gift art #kuroikamome #own characters #Machete

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solchle · 6 months

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I like your designs 🩷

AAJAJAKAKAJKAJA😍

look LOOK GO FOLLOW TGIS ARTIST RN OR I WILL THROW HANDS💥💥

#I SQUEALED IN HIGH PEACH #AAAAAAHSJSKHSJDIIDJDK #TF THA K YOU SO MUCH THIS IS UNEXPECTED SO COOL #your art is just addictive drugs for me PLUS YOU DRAW THEM😍#live laugh love queam🩷💥💥🩷💥#fav🌈#gift🥧#literally heart eyes oh my gosh #look how cool they are cmon check out their work CMON #CMON OR I'LL CUTELY RUSH IN TO YOUR WALLS🩷#asks🥨

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rosie-yumi · 2 months

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عيد ميلاد سعيد شاهادو!! 🥳🥳🥳 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊

( Translation: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHADO!! 🥳🥳🥳 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊 )

‏ أنا حتى رسمت عصافيرك عشان أنا ‏لجعله مميزا بالنسبة لكيأنا. ما كنت عارفة كان عنك عصافير زي، مضحك كيف نحب نفس الشيء :O!!

( Translation: i also painted your birds because i wanted to make it special just for you. i didn’t know you had birds like i did as well, it’s funny how we love the same things :O!! )

!مش هذا بس، أنا حتى رسمت هدية پنيا لكي

( Translation: that’s not all, i also painted you another gift as well! )

خربشة ليل للمتعة ◡̈

!كأفخم لعيد ميلادك megami و kaga أنا عرفا إني تحبين هم كثر. فأنا رسمت لك

( Translation: i knew that you loved them dearly. so i painted you kaga and megami for your birthday! )

does anyone notice how better im getting at paintin— making plushies? 🥴

#navia’s unexpected fa #megami saikou #kaga kusha #OC #birthday gifts #plushie #kaga x megami #megami x kaga #my arts

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cellard0ors · 1 year

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Laura wakes up and Travis is gone.

This, in and of itself, wouldn't be so unusual, if it weren't also for the fact that a lot of his clothes are gone too.

She does her best to get up (a feat that's becoming more and more difficult these days) to see some of his dresser drawers are open. Various personal items too, are missing, and as she starts to take it all in a bone deep chill begins to settle in.

He's gone.

He's left.

He's left her.

He's left them.

Laura tries to deny it, not believing he could do something so incredibly selfish, so terrible. But more and more evidence mounts to suggest it's true.

She calls his office and they tell her he's taken a sabbatical, she looks for his car and it's gone. She's alone. She and her baby are...

Laura calls his cell. Again and again and again. No answer, voicemail disconnected. She tries to text, but she's so upset she can't even think of what to write.

Each time she tries, she starts shaking, starts crying. Some bursts come in anger, start off with a simple: WHAT THE FUCK-!

Others come with more despair: Tell me you're not doing this. Tell me you're coming back!

None of these texts get sent, because she doesn't have the heart to send them.

Laura remembers clearly when she first began to suspect she was pregnant feeling these exact same emotions. Anger, fear, despair. She was too young, she wasn't ready, she didn't want a baby.

But then, on the other side of it, she didn't want to give it up to someone else. She didn't want to get an abortion. There was nothing wrong with the idea of it, but it just wasn't the course she wanted to take.

Laura had made the decision to keep it, even when she'd been afraid that, when she told Travis, he'd blow her off. Or he'd tell her what to do - that she should give the baby up for adoption or she should get an abortion.

But he'd done neither.

He'd been supportive. He'd gone above and beyond. And then...and then they'd started having sex. And he'd start talking to her, paying attention to her, and Laura realized...

...she realized it would be easy to fall in love with this man. Not the man who'd kept her prisoner. Not the one who'd kept her in the dark.

But the man he'd become - the one free from Hackett's Quarry. The one who bought baby clothes and stuffed bunnies. The one of who got them a house. The one who started talking to her. The one who made her body ache for him.

And now, sitting in this big house all alone, she knows it's not just her body that aches. It's her heart. At some point, Laura had begun to fall for him. It's absolutely outrageous, insane, unhinged - but it's the truth.

Laura was falling for Travis. The man who was over half her age. The man who was a perpetual grump. The man who was the father of her child. It occurs to her that, at some point, she'd forgotten all about her past life and dreams, her aspirations.

That she had morphed into someone who was okay with just working at a vet's office, having a baby, and spending time with a man she thought she didn't have feelings for.

Except she does.

Laura has feelings for him and it explains why she never pictured dating again, why she didn't see herself juggling a baby and school - she didn't picture those things, because she'd stumbled into a perfectly wonderful life by accident, one she found herself more than happy with, one she was at peace with.

But it must have not been the same for Travis.

Maybe he'd just woken up one night in a cold sweat and realized he was making a mistake. Maybe he'd had plans she'd never known about. After all, Laura had never bothered to ask.

Maybe, once the curse was settled, before she'd announced her pregnancy - he'd had plans of his own. To go somewhere. To do something. But then she'd shown up and guilt had made him do what he felt was best.

Didn't he try to wiggle out of this before? She seems to recall him offering to pay for the house so she and the baby could live on their own. Perhaps he thought that was all she needed - money and support.

Not love.

Because he didn't love her.

And for some reason this realization makes her a mess. Ends with her sobbing on the sofa, big belly in her way, and the baby. Did he at least love the baby?! Laura could almost take not being loved by him, but to not love their baby...

He's out of her life for a week when there's a knock on the door. It's raining, it's Sunday, and she's been crying again, because she can't seem to stop and she doesn't know if it's because of the hormones or because she's genuinely upset or both.

Either way she's crying and she opens the door and there he is.

Travis Hackett.

He looks like he hasn't slept the entire week he's been gone. His eyes are bloodshot, the bags beneath his eyes heavier than usual. He looks awful. She knows she doesn't look any better.

About a thousand responses at seeing him now come to mind. The range from violent to uncaring to pathetic.

Instead all that comes out is a full, "What are you doing here."

No question, as it's more a statement than anything and his slim shoulders rise and fall on a heavy breath, eyes cast downwards with a hangdog expression, "I came to apologize."

"Oh." It comes out dry. Simple. "For?"

His eyes slowly tilt up to hers and then down again, shame coming off him in waves, "For running."

"Okay."

Then.

"Why did you?"

Travis looks up and finally meets her eyes. He looks broken. Good. So is she. Travis's licks his lips and she can tell he wants to look away again, but he doesn't, "I'm a coward."

"I know." This is not said with rancor, it's said as clear fact. He doesn't react to it and she didn't expect him to, "I run when I'm afraid. I ran when I first saw Chris and the kids change. Was half way to New Hampshire before I turned around."

She accepts this without judgement. The next part though, she's sure she will.

"When you told me you were pregnant...I didn't run. I stayed. Because that didn't frighten me. I wanted to help. I wanted the baby. But then something happened and I...I realized I was doing something wrong, something I shouldn't. And that's when I got afraid. And that's why I ran."

"What happened?"

Laura waits for him to say that it was wrong of him to step up. She waits for him to say it was wrong of him to say he wants the baby when it turns out he doesn't. She waits for him to say something that will completely validate her annihilating him.

Instead he looks right at her and says, "I fell in love with you."

Laura feels her mouth drop open. Travis just pushes onward, "I...actually suspected I had...I dunno, a yen or something, for you, back when I first locked you up. Trust me - I know how fucked up that is, but it's true."

"You asked me to work with you. You were so serious and earnest and...it made me laugh." He shakes his head, grinning at the memory, " Six years of the curse and horror and the loneliness of a long dead wife and you made me laugh, because you had nothing to bargain with, but you were so..."

He struggles for a definition and settles on 'alive' although she can tell he wishes he had something more succinct to say.

"Then we had our... moment...and I figured that was that. But then you come to me and tell me you're pregnant and I think..."

He runs a hand over his face, "I think, okay, this is fine. I'll help her and the baby, but eventually I'll have to step back. I'll have to step back, because I have a history of being cursed. And I'm not even talking about the werewolf thing, no, I've been cursed long before then."

Travis looks utterly miserable as he confesses, "Cursed to love people and lose them, because I can't protect them. I can't help them, and the thought of that happening to you, of that happening to my baby, our baby..."

There's a sniffle and she's not sure if it's from him or her, "So, I knew at some point I'd step away and let some man enter your life who could love you without hesitation or fear. One who would be kind to the baby and I'd just...be around. Offer support like I said I would."

Laura closed her mouth at some point, but she's close to opening it again now, ready for a fight only for his talking to continue, "But then you...you came to me. And you wanted me. And I thought it was just sex, just simply more of me doing what I could to help, but it...it was more than that. At least to me and then I felt the baby move and I realized I'd done the worst thing possible, the one thing I shouldn't do."

Travis looks like he wants to touch her, eyes glossy and brimming with unshed tears, voice full of emotion, "I realized I'd fallen in love with you. That I'd fallen in love with the baby. I realized I didn't want to leave, so I forced myself to "

He rubs the right heel of his hand under each his eyes and she recognizes this. This is how he cried that night when she found him. When they first came together. The soft, withheld crying of a man who feels that he can't cry or shouldn't cry.

"So, I ran. But...I'm still a coward because...I can't leave you and I don't want to and I'm-I'm begging you to take me back and let me stay and let me love you and love my baby and you don't have to love me bac-!"

Laura tugs him forward. Hard. Her rounded stomach rests between them, making it so their bodies can't quite meld together as they should, but that doesn't matter as she grips fiercely to him, as she hisses, "You're so fucking stupid! You stupid, stupid, motherf-!"

She cuts off with a sob, "I love you, too."

"No..." He moans, "No, Laura...you don't have to lie to me. You don't have to-!"

"Jesus! Stop being stupid!" She cries against his neck, even as she kisses him, even as she clutches him as close as she possibly can, "I'm not lying. I love you. And our baby loves you. And if you ever run like that again I'll never forgive you. Do you understand me?"

He hugs her back just as roughly, "Yes. Yes, I understand."

She pulls back and wipes away her tears. She goes for a smile but it's wiggly and weird, even as she puts her hands on her aching back and lets out a hefty sigh, "Good. Now..."

She steps further into the house, "Come on home."

Travis doesn't need to be told twice.

#hackearney #my writing #the quarry #travis x laura #unexpected gifts

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tj-crochets · 6 months

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Making another baby quilt! Mostly because I want to buy more fabric but before I do that I need fabric out of my stash

My fabric going into my stash vastly outpaces my fabric going out and it’s really not sustainable lol

#sewing #fabric #quilting wip #another woodland flannel baby quilt!#this is the last one (except for some scrap)#but the last fully Woodland Flannel baby quilt #so that’s like a couple yards of fabric out of my stash #between the quilt top and the backing #once I finish it anyway #and it means I’ll have a baby quilt on hand for unexpected gifting opportunities #I do have seven extra squares (they wouldn’t fit on the backing)#so maybe ill make a little cube?#there’s a FQ pack I really want to get to eventually use on a quilt for my mom #I even know what pattern I’d use #but I CANNOT get more fabric until I use more up I have so much

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innerchorus · 5 months

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Arslan Senki Chapter 124

I've cooled off a little bit after the intense experience that this chapter was, so here are a few thoughts! (I read the official simulpub on Kmanga, apologies that I haven't looked for the raw this time but it may be out there if you check.)

The chapter opens in the underground waterways and I am immediately relieved because this means that we did indeed backtrack a bit from last chapter, meaning that we are going to see the fighting there that reveals exactly how Andragoras reached Hilmes

Sam, when speaking of the existence of these tunnels, saying that if he'd known about them he wouldn't have 'helplessly surrendered the royal capital to the Lusitanian army'. Sam, please don't blame yourself! If the royal family chose to keep that knowledge to themselves, it's their fault, not yours. The fact that he's still blaming himself for this... That he thinks of himself as a failure in this respect... 😭

The Kishward-Sam fight was less nervewracking than the one the anime included in the battle for the Keep of Saint-Emmanuel, but only because I didn't know the outcome then. I think it's hard to get some of the nuances of this fight across in manga format but as usual Arakawa did a good job with it, and I want to discuss it a bit!

Sam's eyes here... He looks so sad, you just know he longed for that to have been him instead of leading the life he's living now

...and with that expression, the fight resumes. Kishward has already come to the conclusion that what Kubard said about Sam looking for death was true, and that's what we see when Sam next attacks, right after this line about envying Shapur and Garshasp. It's obvious that he's trying to force Kishward into a position where he has to kill him. He won't surrender, he won't switch sides, but he is willing to die like the warrior he no longer sees himself as.

If Kishward met him as he would someone he sees as a true enemy, he would have killed Sam then. He could have done so with his other sword while Sam is open after that strike. But he doesn't, because he doesn't want to kill his former comrade!

And Sam IS NOT WILLING TO KILL KISHWARD EITHER. If he had, Kishward would surely already be dead for what looks like seeking only to stand firm rather than land a fatal blow of his own, and that's why he only receives a broken sword and a shallow cut to the face. The... choreography (?) of the fight at this point is slightly different in the novels but I think the manga did a good job making a small change to show both of their attitudes more clearly.

(For the curious, in the novel Kishward's sword breaks on Sam's armour when Sam deliberately doesn't evade his slash, but as Kishward never intended for it to be a killing blow, it only cracks his armour. I'm not sure that would have come across from images alone so thumbs up to Arakawa for her modification.)

Sam still calling Andragoras 'Your Majesty' showing his inner conflict (Hilmes would hate it just as he did when Sam said 'His Highness Arslan' in his presence, but I find it understandable) but HE STILL DEFENDS HIS POSITION

and this is another small change from the novel but Arakawa's Sam is much more vehement here, much firmer in his conviction to not let Andragoras past and I love that because I can't deny it bothered me a bit in the novel scene where there's a lot of hesitance in his dialogue and he just says "Even though it's Your Majesty...' but here we get THIS:

And if that doesn't confirm that despite any inner conflict he feels, he will never betray Hilmes for Andragoras, I don't know what does. So I was thrilled to see this, honestly.

In the novel it feels as though it's Andragoras's imposing presence that oppresses Sam's will to resist him but that's not so here. I can only believe that Sam allows him through precisely because he wants to avoid the situation he mentioned earlier; 'more slaughter between kinsmen.' If Hilmes and Andragoras talk, will fighting between Parsians be averted? This must be his hope. I do wonder whether he ends up having his suspicions about precisely what Andragoras wanted to tell Hilmes, though... after all, he already knows part of it himself.

(I had some mixed feelings about this moment, so I did quite a lot of thinking about it before, but honestly, it makes sense for Sam's character and what we know is important to him. I'm just very, very glad Arakawa allowed him to face Andragoras down like that first. I do wonder how Hilmes would see things, though.)

Anyway Hilmes's expressions in the following scene wrecked me and just watching him sweat and tremble in position and be on the verge of vomiting was hard. Anyway, the sordid details come to light, and we know who the sorcerer who supplied Gotarzes with the prophecy that caused all of it was...

Some more images of Hilmes's (very beautiful) mother!

Gotarzes, though... The way he's drawn when he's grasping Osroes's wife shows how repulsive his decision was, and it's clear she doesn't want this, but she would have had no choice.

Hilmes tries so hard to believe that this is all a lie, but... you can tell that he can't. It's difficult to watch him go through this. And I can't believe we didn't even conclude this scene (unless Andragoras is just going to leave now in the manga; he didn't in the novels but we'll see, moving things around here could work but equally splitting it with the parallel conversation between Arslan and Tahamenay is a nice touch and I'm glad Arakawa is devoting the necessary time and attention to all of this).

You know... I'm exhausted lmao, someone else please post about the Team Arslan section that came after this.

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #arslan senki spoilers #sam #kishward #andragoras #hilmes #osroes #gotarzes #hilmes's mother #(maybe i didn't tag her before but she deserves her own tag)#it's my birthday today and the unexpected Shapur glimpse was a perfect gift

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