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defeatdespair · 1 day
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Spring always finds a way
There’s still this: our York back yard, April 14, 2017 “…spring always finds a way to turn even the coldest winter into a field of green and flowers and new life.” — Charlotte Eriksson Probably there are few spots of ground in this hemisphere that have been more neglected in the past three years than our once-lovely azalea garden in the corner of our York back yard. When we first planted…
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defeatdespair · 5 days
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A sunny spirit
Matt and Drew in 1986, laughing together as they still do so often. “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.” — Mark Twain Of all the things that have helped us survive the past thirty years, and even before that, I would have to say that humor is near the top of the list.  I cannot…
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defeatdespair · 8 days
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Alchemy in sorrow (2017)
Statue of a fisherman’s wife and child, Katwijk, the Netherlands, March 2007 “Sorrow fully accepted brings its own gifts. For there is alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmitted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.”— Pearl S. Buck Dear readers, as always when I take even a short break, I find myself far behind on urgent tasks. In addition to caring for Matt by…
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defeatdespair · 12 days
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Friendship refreshes
Kelly and I enjoyed a warm spring day at Mt. Vernon, Virginia, April 2017. “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” — Proverbs 27:9 (The Message) It’s a good thing, too, because my soul was badly in need of refreshment. My voice is still gone, the bureaucratic hassles continue, and of course all this is nothing compared to missing Jeff. Spring is lovely but without him, it’s just not the…
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defeatdespair · 15 days
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Ways of healing
Weeding at Tenryuji Temple By Gavin Anderson, CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons “A woman’s heart always breaks a little in the spring. But spring offers its own ways of healing. Hoe the row a little deeper. Kneel on the ground and dig the roots.” – Marjorie Holmes Even when the heartbreak is more than just a little, spring does offer a degree of healing, however inadequate it may seem at the…
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defeatdespair · 19 days
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Earth's immeasurable surprise
Ewe with two lambs in the snow by Andrew Hill, CC BY-SA via Wikimedia Commons “Lambs that learn to walk in snow When their bleating clouds the air Meet a vast unwelcome, know Nothing but a sunless glare. Newly stumbling to and fro All they find, outside the fold, Is a wretched width of cold. As they wait beside the ewe, Her fleeces wetly caked, there lies Hidden round them, waiting too, Earth’s…
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defeatdespair · 22 days
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Dare
Naïve and loving it: me with my stuffed dog “Rex,” somewhere around 1958 “Dare to be naïve.”  — Buckminster Fuller We think of being naïve as something negative, and we generally don’t want others to see this trait in us. Aren’t the really cool people insiders, those in the know, those who are savvy and worldly-wise and experienced and cynical and acerbic? People no one would dare criticize…
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defeatdespair · 26 days
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The tiniest fragments
Our cherry blossoms as seen from the living room window, March 22, 2017 “Somehow, even in the worst of times, the tiniest fragments of good survive. It was the grip in which one held those fragments that counted.” ― Melina Marchetta “The NPS said that about 50 percent of the cherry blossoms survived, but now that we can see the flowers coming out it looks like that is going to look much better…
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defeatdespair · 27 days
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True and appropriate
Dental student Jeff with a 1-month-old Drew, spring 1984.Even the baby’s babies are now past this stage. “It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: ‘And this, too, shall pass away.’ How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of…
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defeatdespair · 1 month
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A happy thought
From a sweet friend in the faraway North, a wooden sign that lifted my spirits. March 2017 “It was a happy thought to bring  To the dark season’s frost and rime  This painted memory of spring,  This dream of summertime.” – John Greenleaf Whittier Last Thursday, the evening before Jeff’s burial ceremony at Arlington, I opened our front door to family members arriving from out of town and found a…
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defeatdespair · 1 month
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Since you don't know
Jeff and I casting shadows in Manteo, Roanoke Island, North Carolina, September 2013 “So don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you…Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they…
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defeatdespair · 1 month
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A genuine man
Jeff with the 2015 graduating class of residents and the deputy directors.The lines quoted below are taken from a poem hand inscribed on back of this framed photo. “For years to come the stories will be told Of a genuine man with a heart made of gold… A good bond is strong, like Gorilla Glue You bonded with us and we bonded to you. We love you Colonel Denton!” — lines taken from a poem given to…
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defeatdespair · 1 month
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A pretty good diet
A lovely surprise greeted Matt and me at our York home:the plum tree is already blooming! March 5, 2017 “I am living on hope and faith…a pretty good diet when the mind will receive them.” — Edwin Arlington Robinson It’s interesting that a poet of Robinson’s stature, who penned the devastatingly powerful “Richard Cory,” would describe himself as living on hope and faith. Such somber work does not…
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defeatdespair · 2 months
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To wander
Grady was far ahead of me when I zoomed in for this shot. Atlanta, December 2016 ERROR! I did NOT take this photo– I stole it off Megan’s Facebook page  — but it was an honest mix-up because I put it in the same computer folder. See below for some I did take that day.Same place, different day; this one was made in January, 2017. SORRY! “Wandering is the activity of the child, the passion of the…
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defeatdespair · 2 months
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These wishes
A candle-lamp shines through a window in Colonial Williamsburg, December 2008. “I wish you, I wish you, I wish you these wishes: Cool drinks in your glasses Warm food in your dishes. People to nourish and cherish and love you. A lamp in the window to light your way home in the haze. I wish you the sweetest of nights And the finest of days.” — Judith Viorst Most of the people I know are familiar…
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defeatdespair · 2 months
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Close at hand
A single beautiful bloom brightened my day, February 2017. “Survival starts by paying attention to what is close at hand and immediate. To look out with idle hope is tantamount to dreaming one’s life away.” ― Yann Martel Last summer I bought a small hibiscus plant at a clearance price, and brought it home to our deck. It thrived and bloomed profusely, until I noticed the upper leaves were…
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defeatdespair · 2 months
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No small gift
Happy dog in Eastham, Massachusetts, by John Phelan via Wikimedia Commons “Because of the dog’s joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift. It is not the least reason why we should honor as well as love the dog of our own life, and the dog down the street, and all the dogs not yet born.” — Mary Oliver My life is not yet ready to adopt another dog into our home, but that does not…
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