#ugh. this sucks lol

[trvelyans-archive]

:pensive::fist:

#being depressed is so cool bc it’s like wow nothing stimulates me at all... #guess i’ll sit here with no energy to do the things i need to and no enjoyment of anything else i need to do instead and then go to sleep #and it’s like days of being like i am wasting my life away #and you just have to like sit with that #i feel like not a single person in the world likes me rn and i feel like i'm always the one trying to make plans #so when i don't nothing happens and no one messages me first and i never leave the house #i wanna be close with my group but i feel like everyone doesn't want that #and i'm also not mentally well enough rn to have one on one conversations so i just don't spend time with anyone #don't even know what i'm doing at this point... i'm doing alright in my classes but i'm not excited about anything and no one #seems to Really genuinely like me. like Actually care about Me as a person and not Maia Who I Know #ugh. this sucks lol #i'm not excited about anything coming up or even sad about anything i just feel Nothing #except the desire to eat NAAN BREAD BUT I CAN'T!!! because of my TEETH!!! #SIGH! #can i have any interests or enjoyment of anything or anyone who likes me @ god? hello?

[puppyeared]

basement guys

#hehehee ive been meaning to draw them lol #i have a bunch of comic ideas i wanna get around to but theyre gonna take a while orz #first one is based on a headcanon abt links humming coined by arystocat.. idk i had a really vivid interaction thinking abt it #the other one is longer but basically connecting the zonai are descendants of gods rumor with some zelda canon abt how #hylians have long ears to hear messages frm the gods.. rauru is really hard to draw though so i keep redoing it ugh #im also practicing how to properly draw faces and i think i like how these came out...!!! #i really suck at gettingthe 3/4 face angles right so rn i consider this a win #my art #myart #doodles #loz #legend of zelda #totk #tears of the kingdom #zelda #link #ganondorf #tloz #ok now i sleep

[skitskatdacat63]

I've decided to do myself what the cowards at Aston won't. Behold.

#GAAAAAAHHHH REALLY HAPPY WITH THESE #GRRRRR I WANNA EAT HIM #not to pat myself on my own back too much but god he looks so fucking hot #woof woof woof man why isnt aston fernando miami 2004 redux not real :((( #only exists in art form :) teehee #ty for everyone who voted in my poll for this even if you didnt know it was for this! #apologies for not picking the most voted one. however...i didnt wanna draw it LOL #theres smth sexier to me about him wearing the unbuttoned shirt OKAY #was pretty fun to design the aston version of the shirt! lmk what you think #also small gripe: it sucks ive put all this work in and its probably gonna end up getting less than the poll i spent less than 10 mins on #idc that much abt notes but ugh the fact that lower effort notes tend to do better sucks :( #unless you wanna make this post more popular than the poll- be my guest :) #anyways god i though renault fernando was hot in these outfits and i obv still do but ggrrrrrr old man fernando when i get you #as i said yesterday. if he wont do well on track he might as well do well off track. so here i am. objectifying him #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2024 miami gp #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art.

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[smallboyonherbike]

#poll #polls #megamazing #music poll #i'm taking out so many of the actual top 10 bc it sucks shit UGH #like the top pop of 2014 mostly sucked same as 2013 sadly #i did still incl songs i didn't like but i refuse to do the actual 10 bc it's just. happy? all about that bass? STOP IT #but that's my right as a poll dictator #curious to see if shake it off does well #bc i don't think 2023 swifties care about it but i thibj it's fun tbh #btw i had to go to top 30 to get songs i didn't totally loathe lol

[jakeyt]

About to respond to asks!!!!!

Covet readers… I just love you guys (gn) so much. You are: incredible readers, supporters, and friends. <333 Wowowow :’)

And, I need you to know, if you are someone who sends in asks: the only time I ever want to respond to asks is when I am able to give them my full attention and heart.

The sweet, supportive, thoughtful words for me or for the story inspire me to keep going with it. Covet is my baby and I love that you all love it with me. *cries eternal tears*

So, saying all of that, I always want my responses to reflect that mindset.

Furthermore, life is busy and stressful (I know I say it all the time, but in my life, there is always something and I deal w things in a very ✨type b✨ way. Life is ESPECIALLY insane right now — it’s too much to explain in a post). So, it takes me a while to get enough brain space to give dignified responses.

To give just a tad bit of insight, in between updates, I dedicate any and all of my time to work (teaching is intense lmao), family, and, of course, writing Covet (🫶🏻). Covet chapters in and of themselves require a lot of brain power in order for me to produce what I feel necessary for the story. That’s one very big reason that updates take about a month.

It all just adds up! My brain regularly gets to the point where it has to focus primarily on certain things… does that make sense?! I have to sort through things to put energy into.

So, my loves, thank you for being patient with me and continuing to support as I wade through life. Thank you for understanding and waiting for me to get my shit together/for things to slow down enough for me to respond the way my heart leads me to. Your words matter and I want you to know it in the way I respond!

I read every single message as they come in and they never fail to make me feel all kinds of wonderful ways. You are all impeccable people for whom I am so very grateful. Please don’t ever stop reaching out, because I see you and appreciate you and you are a life changer anytime you share your kind words!

I love you all so, so much!

#Some people are so great at staying caught up on their messages and I just suck at it #lol 🫠🥲 ugh #I love you so v much #covet #lovely friends <3

[mikodaiyo]

Back to BUSINESS. wip

#Sesskag wip #I’ve been done with this for a minute but I was too tired from work and refreshing myself on other interests #now that I finally had a decent rest and can see straight it’s all good!! ALL GOOD !!! #work was DUMB and LONG ugh. it’s almost spring :D!!! that means good weather and work being more exhausting bc everybody wanna be outside #also y’all I met a new guy lol the last one sucked I like this new guy so much. matter fact I’m seeing a man now the last one was #just some dude yknow lol I gave 5 months of my time to just some dude just to get broken up with before vday🤡🤡 #but now I’m back to baseline! just in time

[tariah23]

Ohhh…

#super old wipswhss #I found them scrolling through my main twitter #I noticed that I had to scroll a long time to find most of my art in my media I suck so bad 🗣️ #since I posted screenshots of anime and reaction images more than art lmfao #these are still okay even tho I’ve improved #the bnha wip is from 2017 and the fma wip is from 2018… i still want to finish the fma one if I can get the original file back one of these #days #everything is on my old laptop ugh #my art #i remember wanting to challenge myself with drawing group pieces back then lol #sena is from 2018 🥺 #o and T doodle is from 2017 as well #jolyne is from 2016 whaaa #for the jolyne wips I was planning on drawing her in ever canon outfits including all of the ones I could find in the art books and so on #at that time #I’d already sketched up like a good 15 Jolynes or so??? #I had sm planned hhhh #sorry for the bnha stuff I was really into it back then lol #the fans made me not want to interact with it anymore tbh

[werebutch]

I want friends so embarrassingly bad but I’m so skittish around people and people are skittish around me so it takes longer. And when I do befriend someone I feel like it’s so obvious how hard I’m grasping at their friendship. Like I feel almost creepy. It’s so transparent, at least I think it is. And I end up thinking I’m losing them when I’m totally not. Please be my friend. Do you want to go somewhere. Do you want to eat. Are you mad at me. Do you want to hang out. It’s ok if not I totally understand. Yeah I’m busy too. Please be my friend

#I know I just have to wait and people will tell me download an app but it’s like. #if someone is using an app to make friends then maybe they’re not my type of person. LMFAO.. you know. #I just have to wait . #and try #I have a couple people at school who I think will become friends but obviously it’s a slow process especially since the people #that I gravitate towards tend to be quiet as well. LOL. so it’ll happen I’m just lonely NOW so it sucks #but I love my friends so much. I don’t even think they know. ugh

[lil-katz]

it’s been a minute

#me #hi #face #selfie #sup #i got sick and puked up all my medicine lol that sucks #it’s been a minute since a posted a selfie #i think #idk #been feeling not great lately #ugh

[puppyeared]

Thinking about my old pkmn ask blog

#I’m not really active in the community anymore but more because I grew away from it #I think about coming back a lot but Im not really sure what id do lol. I mean I think my storytelling and writing #skills have somewhat improved. but i still really really suck at making endings #although maybe I could make it like something that resolves the main problem and then just open for any interactions.. #….fuck. I’m actually considering it now. I love impulsiveness 🧍 #ugh but the other problem was that I would slowly stop updating as the dopamine slowed down and then just abandoned it altogether #multiple times in fact. since I’m the one making the content and not consuming it eeeuuhhgggghuhuhhhhhhh #this lil guy was supposed to have a story around his estranged family and his own problem with identity. I think I could still pick it up #i suck at writing edgy aloof dialogue so it always felt a little stilted or off when I wrote his dialogue. but I love him #myart #my art #oc #pokemon ask blog #pokeask #moss eevee #pokemon

[eddiediaaz]

so i've been talking with someone daily for two weeks and we're meeting tonight and i'm super stressed dflkndfds. like legit my stomach is swooping. they seem to be a really kind and sweet person and they make me feel really comfortable so far. they also seem to like me a lot (they've told me), which is overwhelming in a lot of ways lol. not to jinx myself here, but it feels different than the other couple of first dates i've had these past 3 years, where it didn't go anywhere. i feel like this could definitely go somewhere and i'm so scared and excited and just fdgkLDFGGDKLJFDa. send help.

#i haven't kissed anyone in 3.5 years i feel like i've forgotten how to do it at this point lmao #so i hope i don't suck haha #because i'm pretty sure it will go there lol #(they said they wanted to kiss me dfslkndfslfdksn) #unless it doesn't click at all in person #which can definitely happen ugh we never know

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[thysilus]

im p positiv covid made me develop arthritis

#my wrist is so fuckd man #time for more steroid shots #o wait i dont hav insurance lol #taitalking #my doctor wdnt listen to me wen i was telling her all th symptoms started post-covid #nd the xcruciating pain n my joints was y i knew i had covid in th first place #nd my left wrist has just never gone back to normal. its so bruised and hurty UGH like srsly my wrist is Black lmao evry day i go 'jeez' #im glad its not my right wrist but it still sucks #maybe if i get my insurance back she'll listen since its been like a year and shit aint better

[skitskatdacat63]

Hmmm if I'm to draw smth for vettonso day w them in multiple eras/AUs, I wonder what I should do. Rn I'm thinking boy king au, matador au, 2010s era, modern era? Those are all the ones that are developed enough, so I don't think I should do Bond au or anything else...or should I 🤔 maybe as a chibi addition lmao.

Is there a drawing metaphor for having eyes too big for your stomach? When I'm at this stage I'm like, "four drawings? Light work." And then when I actually get into it, I want to choke out my past self.

#its a shame nandopoleon isnt developed enough for vettonso #its more about him which is fine and the point of it all #but its a shame i cant rly draw anything shippy yknow #anyways 😭 my ideas for this btw are way more shippy than id usually draw #so shall be interesting #i think four is fine and its genuinely the four most developed things #but at the same point its kinda weird to realize i only rly have 2 pretty developed aus for them #i have other aus not focused on rhem ofc #but i guess i think about them sm that it feels like more #or maybe 2 is a lot #who knows! #ugh also sucks when you have ideas but arent sure how to draw them yet #rn its just shitty sketching and hoping ill be able to follow thru lol #catie.rambling.txt

[mildmayfoxe]

ok bad pic but here’s what i got done. got about ~14 “acceptable” vines plus words out of ~23 prints so better than half but not by much 😪 did some 8x10s too but didn’t look too close at those. i had TWO vines on this fancy confetti washi & those both came out ok thank god. did some plain with just text & then since i had the red out & wanted to print something that actually looked nice remembered i had this cute cute heart stamp i wanted to experiment with printing like a block (cause like why not) that i took from work & printed up a batch of those. i’m gonna carve something to put in the middle of them but not sure yet. so i printed about one million prints today but really mixed bag on success rate

#i’m eating a salad now 👍 #ive also GOT to buy a good baren bc all of mine suck shit & my favorite tea canister lid is completely fucked (not flat anymore) #the tea canister lid is the only one i like but since it’s not flat i really need to find a real tool to replace it #if anyone has any reccs please drop them below #i have such a headache and i’m in pain from standing over my desk lol. i need to like. idk. stand better #photo record #art tag #chatpost #the words are hard to read but i decided i liked what that added to the message so whatev #maybe some day in the far future i’ll do these in a different color way #i need to buy more paper soon too i’m down to my second to last pack #ugh i’m tired. i hate when a print day goes bad it’s so.. sad. lol