#OK RAMBLINGGGG

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.

[impala-dreamer]

forever creating new harmony lines for their songs and perfecting them just in case i get called up on stage one day...

#radio company #lol #listen jensen and i sing REAL well together ok? #don't even get me started on steve. we rock #i'm supposed to be writing #oops #you're the right kinda trouble for me #oh yes you are boys #tag ramblingggg #someone talk to me #i need inspiration and random help #ack

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

Not to jinx it but I think the simple act of coming out to my mother literally solved almost all of my mental health problems at once…I’m not even exaggerating

#I’m actually not it’s insane how drastically different and great and content I felt ever since #i can’t even explain all the changes coz it’s hard to put into words but it feels like everything is brighter and I’m not alone #and everything looks and feels different in the best way? this sounds so dramatic ik but #i don’t hate myself now. i don’t want of off myself now. the dark pit of depression is like….nowhere to be seen 👀🤞 (again not to jinx it tho #) #but everything seems clear and makes sense and I don’t feel like I’m constantly missing soemthikg all the time now #it’s weird and maybe part of it is in my head but u can’t argue with these results! #from being su*cidal and getting worse for like 3 days straight. to…feeeling genuinely so happy I didn’t know I could feel this way? #i feel like me! like I actually exist and I am seen and I’m not humiliated any more. and the barrier between me and everyone else doesn’t se #seem there anymore? idk how to explain it but #i feel like I’m free now and I’m not afraid to die coz the person closest to me will know who I was #like I can take on anything now! #it’s like I have a new love for life and new feelings and perspective on things. like how a person is supposed to be (I assume) and I’ve bee #been like woah…this is what most ppl experience in general? because i get it now #this is truly me and who I am and im just sorry I was in such denial for so long because I could have saved myself so much grief and pain #but it’s ok because here I am and I like..exist now? i feel like I can love and do many things maybe? I’m repeating myself but #yeah can’t explain it all I just wanna share coz I really am pleasantly surprised about how this affected me :) #after all that fear and anxiety about doing it lol #:’) #ramblingggg omg sorry for that massive paragraph lol #ok I changed all to almost coz I still have symptoms of anxiety but it’s still improved massively (although that could also be due to doubl #-doubling my medication since I noticed that improvement way earlier than a few days ago)