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mist-see · 11 months

Text

Pain

⚠️ Cursing, detailed descriptions of Bella's body, dead beat mother mentioned ⚠️

Where does he go?

Today in a long time was beautiful. Forks was showing its true beauty as the sun shined through the trees and glistened against the water. For the first time in a while, it wasn’t humid or cold, but breezy and warm, maybe if you were lucky you’d have time to go to the beach and get a tan today. I don’t know, maybe even find a lover…wait.

You cringe at the thought, your hand coming to a pause from the math problem. Ugh. The thought makes your stomach acid bubble up with disgust. Then your mind flashes to Embry and hid derpy smile, you stomach suddenly reacting with nervousness. The two of you were meant to hang out later, no members of the pack, no phones, just you and him with the warm water from the beach. If only life was that simple.

It’s been two weeks since Bella and Edward went away on their honeymoon and a week since you’ve had that conversation with Embry. A month since you’ve been in Forks. Summer break was over. During that time you realize you truly couldn’t bring yourself to leave Forks again, you wanted to, to leave to feel the Atlantic air once again, but that deep void of emptiness was terrifying.

To be alone in your dorm, fighting internally with your instincts, fighting yourself for the break up that had you feeling empty every time you were alone at night, sob-less tears trickling down your face as you dreamt. You didn’t need that, you needed your family, you even risked having to share a shower with them again if that meant having someone faithful in your presence.

That’s why you transferred to Peninsula College. Local, close to your new support system. Also, close to your ex-boyfriend's family while he frolics in the wind of whatever he’s at. Ugh.

Someone faithful, huh? That voice spoke in your head just in time as your brother comes out of his room with his motorcycle keys in hand. You watched him as he puts on his worn boots in a semi hurry, quiet, yet you could tell he was loud internally. Where does he go? Jacob didn’t go to school anymore, studying for his GED when he had the chance, and he only worked Fridays to Sundays. And his stone expression says he wasn’t visiting any friends.

Ain’t shit faithful about this damn family, they hid shit from you, betrayed you. I gotta let that go. You sighed, sitting up from your slouched position in hopes to focus on the task at hand. Instead, you hear the opening of the fridge and the fidgeting of the sandwich meat package. “So… where have you been going nowadays.” You asked for the first time since his whole leaving out early and coming back late act. Theirs no way he has a girlfriend.

You watch as he rolls his shoulders back while he makes a quick sandwich, releasing the tense feeling he constantly had. “Just hanging around, you know? So how’s you and Embry?” Changing the subject, and he did it so fast. You’ll let it slide, to focused on your own problems, you couldn’t really care what Jacob was doing in his free time. Except you do, just not today.

Me and Embry? You truly couldn't find the way you arms filled with goosebumps at the mention of his name. You don't even have a crush on him. But why did it feel so good hearing his name? “Well…we’re getting better, speaking more. We’re supposed to go out later once he’s off from work, we’ll see.” As you spoke, Jacob finally faces you with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand while the other one fidgets with his keys. Seems like he doesn’t even want to speak, just trying to get me off his back so he can go handle whatever.

Maybe I’m overthinking.

Jacob's eyes narrowed at this, not knowing how he felt about his best friend coming over, alone, just the two of you. But, he just releases a hot breath from his nose as he eats the rest of the sandwich, hand coming down and wiping it against his jeans. He knew there was nothing he could do, except be the annoying little brother he was meant to be.

You were reading into the silence too much, to your brother it was probably comfortable, but in all honesty, you still couldn’t fully feel comfortable with him. All of this lying and secrets, the only person to trusted was yourself.

But you needed to break the silence so he could go about his day. “You’re really ugly, I keep forgetting we found you under a bridge.” He scoffed, annoyed but smiling, happy you were still you, the annoying big sis he needed.

“Yeah, says the mistress baby, I’m out!” It was your turn to scoff, yours loud and sarcastic. “Huh! Jokes on you, I’m not even offended!” You childishly stuck your tongue out at him, which he mirrors as he walks to the door. Just like that, all of that insecurity you were feeling was gone, all that anger washing away as you play fight with your brother.

“Yeah whatever dog brains, bye!” Before you could clap back, the fragile door slams against its hinges, making you gasp. He ate you up. You cringe in disgust as you hear the bike engine roar to life and slowly fade away. You hated losing arguments with him, never again.

|Jakes Pov|

It felt great today. It was a shame that I’d be spending this day with the Cullens, the only people in Forks who couldn’t even enjoy the sun. Why am I socializing with my enemies? Well… its not that I have much of a choice. She was back.

Bella was back

In the worst possible condition, she could be in. But she wasn’t them, not yet. She was still her.

If I could- if I could just convince her to get rid of it- to save herself, then maybe… maybe she’ll have a chance to be… her.

Or maybe I’m just prolonging the inevitable.

She’s dying. She’s dying from his baby, and there is nothing I can do but sit there and watch the one I fell for wilt away.

Pulling in front of the large White House I couldn’t help but to cringe at the smell once again. A week here and I’m still not used to it, my body constantly reacting negatively.

“Jake!..” I smiled as her soft voice says my name. “Hey, Bells.” My voice was softer as well, so afraid if I raise it I could somehow break her. She was so fragile. Her hair was thinner, her skin, pale with blue undertones, no longer fair with red cheeks. Her eyes were sunken in as if she was getting drained slowly by slowly, but they still held that beautiful light in them, if anything the light was brighter than before. Her body was smaller, skinnier, and delicate as that demon feeds from her, and her lips… her lips were stained red. The only source of color she seemed to have.

“I missed you..” she reaches up for my hand, which I gently, and quickly grabbed to warm her up. “You missed me or you missed your natural heating source?” I grinned as she grinned. “Both,” she laughed, slowly moving over which I was quick to help her do. “Hey, I got it.” I leaned her against me, and I swore I heard edwards marble teeth grind against each other from the far corner.

Speaking of the devil. “Jacob..” I pulled her cold body closer, something in me telling me that he’d take her away. Even if he already has.

But to my surprise when I look over to the man that hurt my best friend, he was glaring at the woods, stone body fidgeting with his hands. “What,” I answered, trying my hardest to act like I didn’t care what he was thinking.

Then he turns towards me and Bella, thick brows turned inwards as if he was thinking long and hard.

Oh, this is serious.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” His voice cracks. It was weird. He was so perfect, he walked perfectly, he talked perfectly, and he dressed perfectly. Yet here he was, slowly breaking down as his world-my world begins to rot and die.

Looking down at Bella, she gives me a small smile before shifting away. The Blondy takes my place, but instead wraps a thicker blanket against her frame. Edward barely spared me a look as we began walking a trail into the woods, by the river so the ones on the inside couldn’t listen in.

“You know… I’d always known you’d destroy her… just not in this way..” I couldn’t help but to bring myself to say it. I’ve been coming here for a week and every time I see her… and see what IT does to her I can’t but hate this freak even more.

Staring longingly at the trees Edward takes a shaky breath, an attempt to get fresh air before slowly turning towards me. “She… she thinks Carlisle can turn her at the last minute,” My back straightens at this.

At this point did I have a choice? It was too late, her body failing her every day, I knew this was coming but I wish I wasn’t going to be there to witness it.

“Like he did for me and Esme.” He finishes.

This time it was me who took in a deep breath, nerves running through me. This could work, it had to. “Well… can he??” I questioned, quickly wanting an answer and not some wordplay.

“It’s… slight.” Bringing my hands up to my face I release an aggressive sigh. I guess I should’ve known that. I mean, look at her.

“Edward… she has to live.”

“And if her heart stops…” he pauses, amber eyes falling into the leaves and dirt as if he’d given up. This isn’t the time to give up. “Go on with it.” My hands drop to my sides, fists clinching, not wanting him to say it, but I wanted him to. Just so he could feel that this was real, that this pain hurts.

“Jacob… do something for me…” I scoffed. How dare he.

“If not for me then for her!” He asserted.

Now I’m listening. Looking back at him I sigh, tilting my head so he’d know to continue.

“You have this… connection to her that I’ll never understand. Maybe you could talk to her, to try… to try to save her,” his lip quivers as if he’s about to cry.

“You could keep her alive.”

Tuh… there was no changing Bella Swan's mind. In the back of my mind… I knew. I knew how this was going to end. But I needed to try.

“And if I can’t?”

“If she dies…” there it was. Edward Masen. His eyes went blank, no light in those stone-cold pupils as he spoke about the maybe death of the love of my life. I almost felt pity for him. But unfortunately, I had months of preparation for this day.

“If she dies,” he repeated as if it was hard to get out. “You get what you always wanted, to kill me.” He shrugs. He shrugs as if it was the simplest thing ever.

“I can’t live without her.”

Walking back into the living room, the first thing I see is a smaller Bella wrapped around a heavy comforter and fuzzy grey socks.

She dismissed blondy-or Rose before I took my seat on the couch in front of her.

“You two besties now?” I try to lift the sour mood from earlier, which she appreciates with a smile. “Rose knows what I want. I guess we have some things in common.” She sighs as if this was the beginning of something great.

“How’s ___?” Ugh… she just had to say it huh? My sister…

I’m betraying her right now, and it hurts.

“Um…”I chew on my lip as I looked down. How can I say this without stressing her out more? “Um, what?… hey… don’t tell me something bad happened... Rose and Alice said they saw her the other day with Leah. Said she looked… different.” She plays with the blanket, a small nervous tic.

“No, no nothing bad… well… ___ is kinda dealing with some wolf hormones right now… and she imprinted on Embry.” Bella smiles her beautiful smile, before settling on a closed-lip one. “Well- I guess I kinda assumed that would happen… she looked different during the wedding. And… tell her I said good luck on the whole imprinting journey… and, and that I’m sorry.” The smile was no longer on her face. She still felt bad about the whole wedding situation.

I didn’t get much information on it, my dad and Sue filled me in once I came back. “I’ll make sure to tell her that… she needs to hear it.”

She does need to hear that… the woman your man cheated on you with, the woman who’s now pregnant with death itself has the balls to apologize… but not me…

I fucking suck.

“So… did Edward send you in here to change my mind?” She grins weakly

“Sort of. Though I’m not sure why, it’s not like you listen to me, you never did.” We both laugh at this. So stubborn.

“What are you thinking bells? Seriously.”

She rests her bony hand on her belly. “I know it seems like a bad thing. Something that… shouldn’t even exist. But it’s not, it’s not scary, it’s beautiful, a baby. He’s a miracle.”

I scoff again, trying my hardest to not say something offensive, or at least try to play it as a joke. “So it’s a bouncing baby boy?- I’m sorry I didn’t know, should’ve brought some blue balloons.”

She grins, shaking her head. “It’s just a guess… I’ve been having dreams about a curly-headed boy. And my dreams are usually real. I guess we’ll see.” I shake my head, elbows now on my knees as I leaned in.

“No… you won’t.”

“Jacob I can do this! I’m strong enough ” She says, hope in her eyes.

I could feel the anger come back to me, the anger I felt when I first saw her bruised belly.

“Tuh- oh come oooon. You can yap that shit to your bloodsucker but you don’t fool me, Bella.” Her brows push together from the cursing.

“I’m not blind Bella, I can SEE what that thing doing to you, that pixie girl said it! She can’t see you anymore, she can’t see you alive!” My voice began to raise, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad as I watched her lean backward.

“You’re wrong…” It made me sick at how bright those brown eyes were. She had so much hope that this would work, but my gut, my gut tells me otherwise.

“And when you die… what was it all for? Huh? Me loving you, you loving him, how is that fair? Huh? Tell me Bella how is that right to anyone?” She stayed quiet, the face of mourning on her face. She knew I was leaving slowly.

“Cuz I sure don’t see it.” She begins to tear up, and I feel my heart-shattering. I keep breaking my promise to her. Breathing out I get off the couch and sit on my knees in front of her, gently taking her cold hand that rested on her belly.

“Listen to me, Bella…. Please!” I begged, my eyes getting blurry but I blink away the tears so I can stare right into her eyes. “Just don’t… don’t do this. Live- okay? Screw my emotions, don’t do it for me or Edward. But do it for Charlie! Do it Renée!” She lets out a sob, her lips curling into each other before looking out the window.

“Jake…” that wasn’t fair of me, but life isn’t fair. THIS isn’t fair.

“Everything is going to be okay.”

Even though she heard my words, she refused to listen to them.

Letting out a broken breath, I nodded, eyes going down to glare at the kicking belly before I take my hand away from hers and stand up.

Jake- don’t go!” She sighed, throat too fragile to raise her voice. But I grabbed my jacket before giving her one good look.

“I know how this ends.” I force myself to keep my eyes on hers, but they found their way back to her stomach. “I’m not sticking around to watch.”

And so I walked off.

Walking past Rose, past Edward, and past Carlisle until I reached my motorcycle.

All that anger I was storing from her came back. I couldn’t even bring myself to start up the engine before I threw the leather jacket against the gravel and kicked the machine against the trees.

Then I felt that heat again. That burning heat that I grew to admire.

I felt myself rip out my skin and run into the woods, the burning lasting a fraction of a second before I howled out.

“Jake?” ___ called out

“Jacob, what’s wrong?” No, no no no Seth shut up, I tried whipping my head, trying to force the images of Bella sitting there half dead, of her bruised stomach from a week ago, of Edward asking me to kill him. Of me begging, pleading with her to give her life another chance. And the soft voice of Bella trying to call me back.

Visions in my head and voices in my ears, I didn’t notice the car suddenly swerving to the side to come to a stop. But I didn’t give them a chance to let them look as I hopped back into the woods.

I howled once more, calling for the pack, just hoping that there was a way for them to help

“Jake??”

“Jake!”

“Jacob what going on??”

“Jake this can’t be real”

We all run to the meeting spot, at the peer where the trees lay for construction.

“Is it true Jacob?” Paul asked lips coming over his teeth as he circled me. “It’s growing fast,” he says again, the others coming behind me.

Leah gets there with Seth, her voice louder than the others, “It’s unnatural!” “Dangerous!” Jared's voice yelled after hers. “An abomination!” Paul growls, causing me to bare my teeth in defense, but Quil was quick to choose his side. “We can’t have that thing on our land!”

“We can’t allow it!” They repeated as they circled me.

“She’s pregnant…”

___…

|___ pov|

Everyone turns to face you. And for the first time in a while, you felt like a kicked dog. The flashes of Bella and her bruised protruding belly as she sat there pale. Her voice echoed and meshed with Edwards. Then his lone voice whispered, “If she dies, you get what you’ve always wanted, to kill me.”

Whimpering, your ears press to the back of your head, feet taking a step backward. “Y/n..” Embry walks up to you, feeling your hurt

He got her pregnant. After you thought that pain was away, it was back, and it was fresh. So fresh you felt your heart bleeding.

Then a throaty bark sounded from above us. Sam.

“We have to protect the tribe. We come first, Forks is always first!” You huff out from your snout, your sides instantly warmer as you felt Seth and Embry get closer to you.

“Once that thing is born it won’t be able to control its thirst!”

“We’re ready!” Jared announced

“No time to waste. Let’s go!” This time it was Leah, making you peel back your lip in a growl.

“Let’s think this through!” Your voice echoes in their heads, Leah, the first one to approach you. “Absolutely not! ___, remember what they’ve done to you! You got hurt by those bloodsuckers! They deserve it!” Not like this.. not like this.

They don’t need to hurt like this.

“Right now?!” Jacob steps up to Sam, his ears twitching back

“We have to get rid of it before it’s born.”

Oh god…

“You mean… kill Bella?” Seth steps beside Jacob, which you get in front of him just in case Sam had the thought of putting the younger in his place.

“Seth…”

“Her choice affects all of us!” A growl is released from your throat, a sign which Sam takes as disrespect. His brown eyes flick toward you.

“What do you have to say?”

“Sam don’t do this!”

Embry speaks up, approaching you, only to get shut down with a bark from Sam.

“I won’t be a part of this! Me and my brother won’t do it!” It was time to act like a big sibling, your big body pushing Jacobs over so he wouldn’t get hurt.

“You, are nothing but a lost puppy. You don’t get to say anything!” He barks, but you didn’t flench like the others around you. You were good at taking disrespect you just recently found out. But you still felt it, the need to bow down and obey the alpha, you just couldn’t do it.

“Bella’s human!” Jacob cuts in, trying to get the attention back to himself. “Our protection applies to her!”

“She’s dying anyways!” Leah snaps her teeth, digging them into the fat of jacobs neck. Oh fuck no.

That friendship meant shit to you if she disrespects your brother in front of you. You moved faster, clenching your jaw down into her neck to pull her off of him. “Don’t touch him!” You seethed, wide tongue coming out to lick your teeth. Leah’s ears press against her head as it ducks down in submission

Being older only gets you some places. But being Ephraim Black's great-granddaughter gave you the advantage. You were supposed to be the Alpha. And the others were realizing it.

“Enough!” You gave the girl one last growl before whipping your head back to Sam

“We have real enemies to fight tonight!” He starts coming down the tower of logs, making his way toward you and your brother.

“Tonight?!” You and Jakes voice sync, Seth’s whine catching your brother’s attention. But you didn’t dare take your eyes away from Sams.

“You will fight with us. The both of you.” He commands, causing you both to step back. “Jacob don’t you fucking listen to this old bitch.” You growl, head ducking down, which Sam snips at you, teeth almost coming closed on your snout before you backed up just in time.

You snarl at him, Jake doing the same thing. It was only for a few seconds before you finally made up your mind.

You were leaving.

You had to.

“I won’t! I will not sit here and go kill my best friend and her child! I am the granddaughter of Ephraim Black!

“And I am the grandson of Ephraim Black!

“We aren’t meant to take orders from you Sam Uley. I wasn’t born to follow you or anyone else. But I will follow my brother. Because we know what’s right! And this shit ain’t right!”

“___!” Embry yelled out, knowing what you were going to do.

You ignored him, you had to. ”I’m out!” You bark, teeth on display as you bump into Sam, and went up the logs.

Fuck them. I don’t need them.

“So, you choose your little brother instead huh?”

You send him a glare before focusing your eyes on the White House in front of you, the Cullens house. “Okay… I deserve that. I betrayed you, your trust… I deserve this.”

Boy, fuck you.

“I betrayed my imprint. My friends… but I do this because know what's right and what's wrong... And this shit is wrong.” I shake my head, heart heavy with what felt like grief when I bring up embry.

We never got to hang out together. Will we ever? Now that I broke my bond with that pack, we’ll see each other less, and it’ll hurt like hell.

“Garcelle called today.”

Jacob whips his head toward me with wide eyes, but he couldn’t get anything out as the trees move behind us. A boy with a tilted smile comes out, letting you release a sigh.

“Seth.” You and your brother say at the same time, making you roll your eyes.

“Kid, what are you doing here?” You asked, eyes immediately searching your perimeter for any more movement. “Don’t worry! No one followed.” He smiles brightly

“Go home, Seth.” Your brother rolled his eyes. “No! I can’t, I won’t stand behind him! I like Bella and Edward!”

“Oh yes, you will! I’m not kidding, get outta here.” Jacob talks back, arms coming across his chest. Seth's mouth forms into a pout, a sigh coming from his nose. “Or what? Is that an order? You gonna make me bow down to?” Jake rolled his eyes once again, an attitude deep in his roots. You keep having to remind yourself that he is just a kid himself, barely 17.

“I’m not ordering anyone. It’s not like I can… ___ is the alpha.” Seth gasps and faces me, but I keep my eyes on the White House in front of me. “Don’t put me in this.”

“Can I stay? Please??” You closed your eyes with a groan.

Seth was just a kid, not knowing the sacrifices he was going to make during this.

“Seth- are you willing to fight your friends-your sister if it comes down to it? Huh?” You weren't going to say no to him, but he needs to know what the hell is real and what’s not.

But he was ready, a determined look on his face as he gives you a nod. “If that’s what it takes to do the right thing.” You give Jacob a look, and he shrugs. “Fine… you’re in.”

“Woo! Hell yeah!”

“Language.”

“Yup! Can do.”

“Jake, go give the Cullens a heads up. I’m going to run the perimeter.” This was just an excuse for you to not see Edward. You haven’t seen him since the wedding and honestly, you’ll force yourself to keep it that way.

“Right-wait! Take him.” Your younger brother points to the young boy. Grinning you shake your head. “Whatever. Come one kid.”