#tw.angst

[whore-ibly-hot]

Yan!Husbands Boss x Married! Reader

"Just Another Day at The Office."

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Dub-con, misogyny, name calling, nude photos, coercion, dubcon touching, fem genitalia for reader, mentions of divorce, general perversion, praise, clit play, cheating, readers husband is a scumbag.

(AN: Requested by an Anon early today, and it made me feral.)

Tick... tick... tick... the sound of an office clock rings in your ears, the only sound louder is your heart, pounding in your ribcage. The clock was awfully loud, though you had never noticed it before, when you were coming to bring your husband a warm, home-cooked meal. Maybe then you didn't notice it because you weren't fearing for your future.

Morgan & Cole, the investment firm your husband had been working for for years had been doing better than ever, and in turn, so had your husband. Promotions, expensive raises, and more had been sent his way. The house was even being repainted. All that begs the question, how had you found yourself in this situation.

It was a few nights ago when your husband informed you of the deal he had made with his boss. Morgan, the co-owner of the company, had his sights set on you, apparently. At a holiday party, he approached your husband with an offer, an offer to get a night with you in exchange for another fat raise. You had always known your husband hadn't been the most loving, but you had never imagined his greed could get to this. The worst part was how casual the deal he described was. Approaching a man at an office party and asking to sleep with his life like you were discussing sports frightened you. You had only met Morgan once or twice, and while he seemed charming, him doing something like this made you very much doubt he was in actuality.

You are snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of a door opening. Morgan steps out of his office, fidgeting with his smart-watch when he looks up and sees your meek form in the office lobby. His brow furrows.

"Oh, Mrs. Peters, I hadn't expected you to met me here. I had intended to come pick you up. How long have you been here?" He asks. You gulp. "Not long, just ten or so minutes." You say, trying to hold eye contact. He sighs and shakes his head. "Well, I wish you would have knocked on my office door, I feel awful having left you out here alone. Come, we can head back into my office and chat." His voice is so soothing, and in any other situation it would have been nice. You enter his office, and he closes the door behind him, before sitting at his desk. You take the chair in front of it.

"So, I assume your husband-" His teeth grind as he says this. "Is assume he has gone over what this is about." You nod. "He did... and... and I don't know if I can do this. I don't know you at all, and I'm a married woman." You whimper. Tears begin to slip down your cheeks, and Morgan sighs heavily. He comes around to lean back against the front of the desk, one hand supporting him while the other touches your cheek.

"I know this must be scary, I understand that. But I'm gonna solve both of those problems right now." He kneels down so your eyes meet his. "First, you worry you don't know me. Let me fix that. My name is Morgan Brant, I am thirty-two, and I live in a loft down on 37th. I like charcuterie and making my own organic lattes. I work out everyday, and enjoy walking through the city. I have both of my parents, Ruth and John, and they live in the city as well. Anything else you'd like to know?" You're too stunned and still panicked to respond, so you just shake your head. "Okay, okay. Good." He murmurs. A hand strokes your hair softly, as if trying to soothe a wild animal. To your shock, for a man who basically paid for a co-workers wife to prostitute herself, he does seem genuinely upset at your fear. His eyes are filled with a sorrow, and he chews his bottom lip nervously. He looks down for a moment.

"Mrs. Peters, your second concern, about being a married woman, is very respectable. I appreciate that you respect the sanctity of marriage so much. I think your loyalty and love for your husband is beautiful." He pauses, and gently grips your chin so you look him in the eyes. "But... I worry that love and loyalty may not be returned. Mrs. Peters, I need you to promise me you will listen to what I am about to tell you." You gulp, his suddenly serious, yet still soft, tone worries you.

He stands, walking to the back of his desk and opening a drawer, grabbing a manila envelope before sitting down at his chair again. He pushes the envelope towards you, folding his hand together and sitting up. He looks as those this odd exchange is yet another business deal, as he sits like a man prepared to do whatever it takes to seal a deal. A real businessman. Your hand trembles as it opens the envelope. Your heart stops.

Inside, your husband can be seen in several photos, from many different angles. Some looked ripped from security footage, others appear to be taken at a distance. However, they all contain the same subject. Your husband, locking lips with various women, every photo a different one. Your hand covers your mouth as you let out a choked sob. "N-no... I mean, he was never warm to me, b-but..." Everything comes crashing down at once. All those nights you waited up for him when he was 'working late', all those warm meals you brought him at work, only to be brushed off so he could talk to his secretary. It all made sense.

"I can't believe this..." You squeak. Morgan shakes his head. "You can believe it, I know you can. He's never loved you, I've seen how he treats you. Rejecting your meals, ignoring you at office parties and work functions. My dear, he is actively sitting at home and preparing to count the bonus he received for pimping you out to me." Morgan exclaims, his shoulders tightening. You put your head in your hands. "I'm... what am I going to do?! I'll divorce him, but I'll have nothing. I, oh god." You cry. Morgan once again moves to try and comfort you. His broad arms wrap around your shoulders.

"I know, I know this is scary. You've been through a lot tonight, your entire marriage even. But it's going to be okay." He cups your face. "I've been watching the two of you, you mostly." He hands you something. An empty tupperware container. "This is from his lunch yesterday. Every meal he rejected from you, I gladly took. I hadn't had the chance to eat something made so lovingly in a long time. They don't serve home-cooked meals like this at business conferences." He chuckles. "I saw how you would cling to him at those same parties he was ignoring you at, and wishing, praying you would cling to me like that." You look up, his confession is shocking. "Your husband... he is a greedy man, but he has pride. I knew I wouldn't even get a moment along with you unless there was something in it for him." He shakes his head. "Darling, I was just as disgusted as you were that he'd agree to that. As excited as I was, as I am for this moment with you, I was thanking whoever is out there that no other person at this office had tried something similar. I'm not some deviant, or criminal. I've had my fair share of sexual encounters, with prostitutes and escorts, but... I never felt anything. I need to feel something. I do with you." He says.

You shake your head. "You don't know me." You say. He shrugs. "You don't need to someone to love them, not at first. I hate to say this, but you didn't really know your husband, did you?" You sob again, and his sticks his hands out. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry darling, that was out of line. I just needed to prove a point. What I'm saying is, I don't just want one night of pleasure with you. I want you to be mine. If you left him, you wouldn't be lost or desolate, you would have me. I could give your everything he has and more. Money, a penthouse, and my love. Real love. You deserve someone who wants to care for you the way you cared for that man-child. I can do that." You sniffle. "It's all so soon, and I don't... I'm scared." You say again. "I know. I hadn't wanted to do this here. I had wanted to show you the pictures and confess early on, I had plans to pick you up and take you somewhere nice to eat. I know the last thing you want right now is a fresh new relationship, I understand. But just maybe, the idea of revenge tempts you?" He suggests. You look up, and bite your lip. "What are you suggesting?" You ask.

"He thinks he's better than you, and that you could never leave him, because you have no one else, nothing else. Why else do you think he assumes their will be no repercussions for a night like this? He's so confident that you would never leave him, never even think about another man, that he truly believes you will return to him after he's pimped you out." Morgan moves closer. "I won't lie, I'll enjoy this, but don't just do it for me. Do it for yourself. Give in, leave him for a man who will worship you, who can give you more. Get back at him, and be with me." You shake your head. "You... you paid him to pimp me out to you like this though?" You exclaim. He nods "I had to show you how little he cared for you, same with the investigators I hired to get those photos." He nods in the direction of the envelope, now dabbled with your tears. "Besides, I've already signed his termination papers, I don't hire men like that here. He isn't getting shit for doing this to you." He assures.

In a moment of weakness, you break. The betrayal of the evening, the hurt and the fear, the anger, it's all too much. You sink to your knees, and nod. "Alright, let's do it. Just... be gentle, go slow." He nods. "Oh, my sweet. I'll do whatever you ask." He captures your lips, pressing your back against the front of his desk as he kneels beside you. His lips are soft, and taste of bourbon and mint. He smells like cologne, but a good kind, something smokey. Not like the tacky expensive stink of your husband, now ex-husbands favorite cologne. His tongue prods at your lips, and shyly you part them, allowing his tongue to slip in and suck against yours. He groans, and you both pull away breathlessly. While you take a breath, he immediately latches onto your neck, placing quick, feverish kisses along your collarbone. You gasp at the feeling, shrinking in on yourself. He grins.

"Does it really feel that good, that's quite a reaction." He chuckles. You blush and look to the side. "It's- It's been a while." He frowns and tilts his head. "How long is awhile, darling?" He whispers. "A few months, maybe eight or so." He shakes his head. "My poor girl, doing all that for him and he still wouldn't please you." He grips your waist, his lips on the shell of your ear. "To be fair though, even if he did, he couldn't make you finish. He would please himself, not you. But I won't, baby. Tonight, is all about you." You can feel a thick hardon pressing against your knee.

"Tell you what, darling. Let me make you feel good, real quick. Something nice and easy for my sensitive girl. Then, I'l take you out. I'm not just going to have sex with you without wineing and dineing you. Then, I'll take you back to my place, I-I'll send for your stuff tomorrow, and if you want, we can go for round two." He coos, looking up at you with admiration and hope. "Won't my husband try to resist my stuff being taken?" You ask. He shakes his head. "He's not your husband. If he calls, I'll hang up. He sold you out, and if he gets pissy, I've go the best lawyers in the country at my disposal. I'm not letting you spend one more night under a roof with that man. You aren't Mrs. Peters anymore, you're Mrs. Brant. Now... let Mr. Brant make you feel good." Hands cradle your thighs, slipping the skirt of your sensible slip dress up over your knees. A hand paws at your panties, cupping your cunt as he sighs. "So warm, poor little thing hasn't been touched in months. I've only kissed your neck a little, and your soaked. Is it because I said I love you? Does your little cunt respond well to just being admired and appreciated? Oh, my darling." He slips your panties aside just a little, not wanting to ruin your outfit for dinner later. Fingers part your lips as a long digit strokes up, from your entrance to your clit. A finger prods the entrance, and you gulp at the throbbing heat you feel.

"Gentle, slow please." You murmur. He nods, placing a gentle kiss on your neck before slipping in his digit. His long, calloused fingers rub your neglected walls in all the right ways. "A-ah, Morgan..." You pant. "Good?" He asks. You nod, breathless already. He thrusts it in and out gently, before asking to add another digit. When you nod, he adds another, while his free hand circles your clit with his middle finger. Perhaps its from typing everyday, day in and day out, but he is skilled. Even when your husband has slept with you, you had never felt like this. A coil forms in your stomach as you pant and whimper.

"M-morgan." You moan. "Please, I need to-" You're cut off by him sharply curling his fingers, as they hit a spongy spot deep inside you. "Oh, god. Yes." You moan again. "Cum for me, darling, please. I want to hear you." Morgan's tone is suddenly more desperate ethan you had heard it all night. He's needy, begging to know that he is pleasing you in the way he so desires. "Say my name, would you? I just want to please you, I need to know it feels good." He begs. "Morgan, I'm gonna cum, shit-" Your walls begin to pulse, juices coating his fingers. As you moan, finishing your high, he kisses you feverishly, desperate for closeness.

When you pull away, panting as you come down from your orgasm, he licks your juices off his hands with a squelching noise, putting your panties back into place. He helps you to your feet, and hands your your purse. "Ready for dinner?" He asks. Tired and very hungry, you nod. "Just one more thing, and you don't have to do anything, I've dealt with this myself plenty but-" He looks down, the tent in his pants is still very prominent.

"May I handle that before we go out?"

#yandere #yandere oc #tw.yandere #yandere fanfiction #yandere content #tw.dark content #x reader #yandere boy #tw.cheating #tw.dubcon #tw.angst #yandere boss #yandere ceo #oc Morgan #fem reader

[ilovefoodwithallmylife]

"Love doesn't always end with a happily ever after..."

[Bayverse TLK Optimus Prime x Human reader (Angst Oneshot)]

A/N: My first one-shot, so this will probably look like scrap-, this looks so weird to me- But either way hope you won't find this bad. GIF isn't mine credits go the the original creator. This is a long one shot I'd say and it takes place in movie 5 to remind you. And I'm going to sob in the corner rn cause Prime may look OOC-😭

Warnings: Movie Spoilers for Transformers TLK 5, Angst with no comfort, Mention of Spells/Brainwashing, and, Manipulation, Long post, Death, Slow Burn Romance, Blood, Killing, Cursing, Gore but nothing too detailed, Threatening, Violence, and, Fighting.

Ever since Optimus left Earth to take away the seed and hide it away, you felt lonely and worried day by day. Sure, it did feel nice to have the rest of the Autobots with you, Bumblebee, Hound, and, many more of them. But it just doesn't feel right, not without Optimus. Before he flew away from Earth, you gained feelings for him during the times when you two were alone together.

Not because he was a Prime and was very strong. Despite his serious and stern demeanor, he has a kind spark and has always shown genuine care for others, Including you.

You happily and gladly listened to his stories, feelings, and, many more. Which he deeply appreciates with his short yet kind words of thanks. You sometimes feel like an idiot for not telling him your feelings for him but, you think it's for the better besides, he's in a war with his fellow Autobots, Optimus a literal huge giant alien robot that can easily hurt you, and, It'll save you from rejection. It's not like he'd return the same affection for you right? You thought as years pass by.

Slowly you start to accept that Optimus Prime is gone. And he'll never come back. But, life has full of surprises, right? Good and Bad. You received news on how Earth, your home planet, had the secrets of Cybertron, Optimus' home planet. And was given a task to find a certain staff that has a large amount of power.

Right now, You, Vivian, Cade, and, Bumblebee finally found the staff, located in the depths of the ocean. Thanks to Sir Edmund's explanation, the Continental Drift theory was true, as all lands emerged to have the staff hidden from falling into the wrong hands, It was an old Cybertronian Ship, where there are guardian knights of it are in deep sleep but will be ready to protect the staff.

Cogman's assistance was well, complicated to describe, and having Bumblebee as protection. Vivian wields the staff, only being one of the people to use it, after knowing that one of her family members had an alliance with the Transformers.

And the guardian knights have awakened from their long state of being hidden, attacking as you three do your best to avoid it. Unfortunately, you three were caught by the government. They were able to deal with the guardian knight, which now leads to the scene of Vivian being threatened by Lennox on shooting her.

"Go ahead, shoot me!" She shouted out, "No!" Cade yelled back, not wanting to see her getting shot. "Only I can wield it." Vivian states, but Lennox prepares for attack "Go on!" Lennox didn't shoot her yet, "Do it!" Silence takes place "Shoot me!" Vivian yells out, "You don't know what you're doing, Lennox." Cade adds but only sees him getting equipped to shoot Vivian. "Don't do this Lennox, the more trouble will only be involved here." You add on.

You and they then heard a loud growl from the back, only to see more guardian knights come over, one says "Protect the staff!" as it charges towards the government with Lennox, they shoot at him but no effect happens as they only get thrown off by them. But suddenly they were getting defeated, with the use of a sword and shooting at them, by but who? You see a large figure from the mist.

As they were killed off, the large being revealed itself, only for it to be Optimus Prime himself. "I've come for that staff," he says as he holds his sword, you and Cade look behind, it's him! Optimus! But, something doesn't feel right...

He walks towards you three, as he puts his sword in place, "Optimus...what are you doing?" Cade asks, with concern he isn't like this, he doesn't take the lives of others that stand in his way so quickly, unless they truly deserved it. "Give it to me." He says demandingly "It's us, Cade and (Name). We fought together-" "I fight the fight for my own kind! My own planet!" Optimus cuts him off angrily, as he slams his servo on the ground to warn him. Seeing how he acts, you felt horrified at what he was doing. This wasn't the caring and compassionate Prime you know...

Vivian also felt horrified as well, as she securely holds the staff, "Cade?" She questions, "This isn't you, Prime." You say nervously but also feel anger. Why the hell is he being like this? Optimus bends towards Vivian, "Give me the staff, human." He says demandingly, "Cade?" Vivian questions Cade, with fear, "I will kill you." Optimus threatens her. Cade sighs and answers "Give it to him." You look at him with a questioning look, "But Cade we-" "We have no other choice, (Name)!" He replies harshly but not on purpose, you feel bitter. Not because he yelled at you, it was that the staff was going to be given to Prime. And you didn't feel right when you saw him.

Vivian feels nervous, with the intense look from Prime, while Lennox and Bumblebee watch, thinking wisely to not engage in a fight. "Now," Cade speaks out, Vivian then raises her arm to give the staff to him. He then takes it from. her as he has it on his chest plate. Once he haves it, Lennox and his men shoot at him, only for them to be defeated. He then walks away "Who dares to challenge me?" And with that, he just left.

When he left, Bumblebee whirs sadly, "It's all wrong, Bee." Cade talks to the young bot. "Something happened, that is not Optimus." Indeed it wasn't him at all. "We gotta find him, Bee. Remember ZB-7? He reminds him, with Bumblebee being ZB-7, who was strong and yet brutal, "You got to be that Autobot again." Bumblebee nods as he raises his arm as he went his way to look for the Prime.

Cade then goes to Vivian "Look, you got to get back to the sub, all right? Get out of here." He says, "Wait, but what about you and (Name)?" She asks with worry, "Bee's always had our back. It's our turn to have his. Go." You reply to her, as you then ran with Cade. "All right, get back to the DSV." Lennox states, "Let them know up top that we lost control of the weapon." He commands "Roger that, Sir." "You heard him. Back to the sub!" His men reply and obey. "We're gonna find him." You both then went with Lennox.

-------------------------------------------------------

The old Cybertronian Ship rises from the sea, It's unbalanced but Bumblebee finally finds Prime. Once he sees him he uses his hammer to give a good hit on Prime which was effective. "Come on, we got to get to the top!" Lennox voices out loudly as you climb out. Once you got up you see how strong tides and hurricanes were there, "Holy Sh!t! Holy Sh!t!" Cade curses out as he saw the situation happening, as the old ship moves.

"We can make it! Come on!" Cade said as you three ran fast and try the best you guys could to make it. "Watch out, big wave coming!" Lennox warned out, even as you three held on to each other, the wave was still able to separate you off. As Bumblebee fights off Optimus, he was slowly losing his strength while trying to catch up to him, "I am Nemesis Prime!" He says as he throws Bumblebee to the ground, "You are nothing!" Prime says as he rips off the door wings of the poor young bot. Bumblebee was then able to get out of his grip, and he then prepares to fight again. "Move it!" Lennox yells out, you do your best to not get swallowed by the waters as you climb up from it.

"Air's gonna be on station 14 to 16." The airforce's speaker says "TOC, it looks like we have a surfaced alien ship." As they glided over the ship, one says "Lightning 4 has a visual on Optimus." You and Cade have eventually got to the surface, and to see Bumblebee being Beaten by Prime, you both ran towards them. Bumblebee had a chance to be able to stop Prime, which made him fall to the ground.

You then climb on top of him to try to get him to snap out of his unusual behavior "Optimus please stop!" You yell at him, feeling desperate to make him get back on himself "Please stop already, Optimus! Don't do this, Please! Snap out of this Prime! This isn't you! Remember me, Optimus!" For a minute his Violet optics almost went Gentle Blue but unfortunately went back to Dark Purple. Before he could even do anything to you Bumblebee attacks Prime which made you get off him as fast as you can. But then, the Cybertronian ship was moving again but going up. You then got separated again but were able to find the two bots.

Optimus then grabs Bumblebee as he then painfully hits him off the ground. Having You and Cade sliding on the ship like an avalanche. Before Optimus could do worse to Bumblebee, he was able to kick him away. "Prime!" Cade calls out to him. Bumblebee felt worn out as he tries to get back on his pede, he was laying down, being affected by his injuries. Optimus then gets back on his track he grabs his sword and raises it towards Cade. "NO! CADE!" you scream out as you then push Cade out of the way, making the sword hit you instead.

Slash!

You felt his sword stab you as if you were going to be ripped apart brutally, specifically it went for your chest, Dark Red blood bleeds out of you and God it hurts so much. Your vision starts to get blurry. You cry and screech out of pain from it, making Optimus to go back his senses as he dropped his sword. You fall to the ground as blood drools out of your mouth and as tears escape your eyes.

When Optimus gets back to his normal self shakes his head and then he sees you on the ground injured. With immodest worry, he bends down to gently carry you on his servo. "(Name)!" He calls out to you, as you were on his servo, bloody and injured. The Prime had many questions in his helm, "What was he doing? How are you injured? Who did this to you?-", however, he then looked at his sword that was on the ground, blood was on it. So it was him who injured you so badly! Making Prime feel guilty as if a pang of pain went through his spark.

You know that you're still alive, but you only have a little amount of time to breath. You then weakly question him "Optimus, i-is that you?.." he brings you close to his faceplates "(Name)!, Please save your breath while you still can, we may find help!" He says feeling hopeless, But the truth is you can't even survive anymore, you're going to die soon.

You then raise your right hand to gently caress his faceplates, you then see it was really him, even through your blurry vision, you can see a bit of his beautiful Ocean-Blue optics that you've always adored. When you put your small hand on him, you caught his attention, you then say, "Optimus ever since I have met you and spent time together with each other, I always felt happy and glad when you're here. You were one of the best things that came into my life, you were like a guide, a light in my life that I wanted to be with you forever, even if it's impossible." Making the Prime's optics widen, you loved him back as well?

"I-I'm going to die, Optimus, I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about this when I still had my chances." More tears fell out of your eyes. "But please know that I have no regrets about being with you Optimus Prime. Words cannot even express how dear you are to me in my heart, Optimus I deeply l-lov-"

*Cough!*

You coughed out blood. You then didn't see or hear anything. You were dead. Sadly, what you didn't know was Prime's response. He did love you back. When you were gone he begged that you'll open your eyes up again. Optimus does feel like an idiot as well. He loves you but when he gained his feelings for you? He just pushed them away, out of fear, thinking that you're just too good for him to be with.

He didn't even care when Bumblebee and Cade called out to him, and how the guardian knights are going to kill him. Again, he didn't even care, right now he was reflecting on his mistakes and the harm that he did towards you and others, as lubricants threaten to fall out of his Ocean Blue eyes, and just wanted to scream out of rage and sadness on what he has done. Optimus then has thoughts of just wanting to turn back time if he could, and there he would've told you his feelings for you.

Primus, if he just didn't fall under Quintessa's spell and manipulations, none of this would even happen! It was all his fault, he murdered you. He's a monster, disgusting, and, selfish!

And now you both have consequences to deal with, you didn't confess each other's feelings to one another, and now it ends like this. It seems unfair and cruel but that's just how life is, isn't it? Time flies and waits for no one. And more importantly,

Love doesn't always end with a happily ever after...

#transformers #transformers x reader #x reader #transformers bayverse x reader #transformers bayverse #bayverse x reader #bayverse #bayverse transformers #bayverse optimus prime x reader #bayverse optimus prime #bayverse optimus x reader #bayverse optimus #optimus prime #optimus prime x reader #optimus x reader #transformers imagine #imagines #tw.angst #tw.blood #tw.murder #tw.death #tw. violence #transformers angst #tf optimus prime #maccadam #robot x human #angst oneshot

[croimilis]

If the World was Ending

title: if the world was ending

character: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x ex!reader (he calls them peach/peaches)

rating:  13+ 

words:  10k + 

themes: angst, hurt-comfort

warnings: hangmans an asshole (with good intentions), cursing, alcohol, drunkneness, crying, heartbreak, soft hangman,  discussions of depressive episode, minor snooping?

summary: “would you love me for the hell of it? all our fears would be irrelevant” 

Despite breaking up 5 years ago, you are the one person Jake would turn to if the world was ending, which it might be given he thought the only time he would see you again would be the end of the world. The worst part, he didn’t even mean to call you. Didn’t even know your cell number was still in service, or that you were in the same city as him and yet here you are, ushering him gently into your car and taking him home. 

a/n: this is part of the ‘fly me to the moon’ universe. parts of this are rushed and not great as i wanted to get it out, never the less, i hope you enjoy.

tags:  @xoxabs88xox​

Jake was absolutely fucked, the room was spinning and he could barely stand by himself and had to be supported by Coyote, who was currently helping him out of the bar. They were the last two standing from the group of Rooster’s groomsmen who had gone out for an unofficial bachelor party and Coyote only really stayed to make sure Hangman didn’t hurt himself or drown himself in his sorrows completely. 

Coyote leans his best friend against the brick wall of the bar and looks him up and down with a sigh. Hangman was usually so good at holding his liquor, was good at making sure he didn’t overdo it and yet here he was, as if he was a barely legal college student experiencing the freedom of legally drinking once again. He was a mess and Coyote didn’t know what to do with him.

Coyote crossed his arms and gave his friend a stern look, “Stay here.” He goes only a foot or so away to make a call, his eyes lingering on Jake to make sure he did as he was told. As the person on the other side of the phone answers with a soft hello, Coyote turns away for a few seconds. 

In that time, Jake clumsily fishes his phone out of his pocket and struggles to unlock it, entering the passcode in wrong twice before face id kicked in and it unlocked automatically. He smiled wistfully at the image on his home screen, it was years old but it was still one of his favourites that he transferred between phones.  In his inebriated state, he only wanted one person and he scrolled through his contacts until he reached the one he wanted in the ‘L’ section labelled as ‘love of my life’. 

He presses the call button, like he had done a million times before but unlike the times before it doesn’t ring out. Instead, after a few rings, there's an answer and a soft and muffled ‘hello?’ is spoken from the other side. Jake's eyes widened slightly and his head rolled back against the brick of the bar. He wasn’t expecting you to pick up, certainly wasn’t expecting to hear your voice again after 5 years and the sound made him dizzy.

Another ‘hello?’ comes through the line, this time followed by a gentle “Jake?” He smiles at the sound, having missed it all these years, and melts a little on the inside the same way he used to when you were his. “Miss ya peaches.” His words slur together and, combined with the southern twang of his accent now fully presenting itself, you struggle to understand what he’s saying, your eyebrows creasing together as you slowly sit up in your bed, 

“Why are you calling me at 3am?” Your voice is soft, but still holds a firmness in it that you usually used when you were cross at him. Despite the crossness in your tone, he still relished in the sound and closed his eyes to memorise your voice once again. A few seconds of silence roll by and Jake hears shuffling on your side, you’re moving to swing your legs off your bed, shoving your feet into the running shoes you always kept by your bed.

“Jake.” He hums in response, and you roll your eyes on the other side. You knew rightly that he was drunk beyond belief, it was the only time the cocky pilot was ever this quiet and not firing off some flirty remark. “Where are you?” 

His eyes look at the signboard outside the bar, the writing was blurry and unfocused and if only the goddamn thing would stop spinning he would be able to tell you for certain where he was, “The Fo…Frog and the…” He squints his eyes to see if that would help, it didn’t really, “meal..smart” 

Your eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you let out a small sigh, the gears in your mind grinding to try and make sense of what he was saying when it finally hit you, “You mean the Dog and the Metal Smith in San Diego?” 

“That’s the one.” You can hear the grin in his voice through the speaker and you just sigh as you lift yourself from your bed, grabbing an old jumper that was on your vanity as you walked past, “Stay there, I’m coming for you”. 

You hang up your phone and Hangman lets a goofy smile spread across his face, one that has Coyote concerned as he turns back to his friend, his own conversation over.  Jake looked like the cat that ate the canary the way his lips spread in a cheshire cat grin and so Coyote approached him apprehensively. 

“Hangman…” He places a hand on his friend's shoulder, leaning down slightly so he could look Jake’s slouched form in the eyes, “Phoenix is gonna be here in 15 to bring us home.” 

A giggle passes through Hangman’s lips and Coyote almost flinches back, it was a sound he hadn’t heard from Jake before. It was foreign and a far cry from the confident man he knew, more so verging on a sound made by a lovesick school girl when discussing their crush, and suddenly Coyote’s concern level rises. 

“Jake….dude are you okay?” Jake looks at Coyote, and he looks almost as love sick as he sounded, “(Y/N)’s coming to get me Javy”. 

Coyote lets out a small sigh, eyes trailing over his friend with sympathy. 5 years later and he still wasn’t over you. “(Y/N)’s not coming buddy.” 

Another giggle passes through Hangman’s lips as he thrusts his phone toward Coyote, the device still unlocked, and Coyote takes it from his hands with a questioning glance before he looks at it. It was on the recent call screen and there it was, “Love of my life….5:00”. Coyote still didn’t believe it. The number could have been reassigned to someone new and Hangman was probably just mumbling incoherent nonsense to some poor stranger on the other line. Coyote was going to break the news to Hangman, but one look at his friend's face and he stopped. He looked hopeful, almost childlike with glee, and Coyote couldn’t take that away from him. 

It had been obvious since Rooster had announced his engagement to Angel that something was off with Hangman, the other’s didn’t notice it but having known the Texan for so long Coyote noticed. Though he smiled and congratulated the couple, it didn’t really reach his eyes. Instead, there was a lingering sadness in his eyes and maybe a look of regret. And usually, Jake was the life of the party but the night of the announcement, and even tonight, Jake was quiet and reserved. Keeping to himself for most of the night, simply observing the rest of the pilots as they celebrated with eyes glazed over as though his mind was a million miles away.  

Coyote had his suspicions as to why, had managed to pull a small confession from the man after a few beers at his place, though it was like trying to pull teeth, in which Jake admitted to that it reminded him of the biggest mistake of his life. Coyote was then able to put the pieces together, he knew what Jake's biggest regret was, it was you. Well, not you as a person, not your relationship with him, god your relationship with him was probably the best thing that ever happened, what he regretted was leaving. 

Coyote let out a small sigh before leaning against the wall beside his friend, watching him from the corner of his eye as he simply stared up at the sky with a lovesick look and a goofy grin on his face. He was going to be heartbroken when he realises you weren’t actually coming. They stand for that for a little bit, Hangman simply staring up at the starless sky and Coyote watching him carefully to make sure he doesn’t tumble to the ground and hurt himself, or choke on his own vomit. 

The sound of a car pulling up causes Coyote to turn his eyes away from Jake for a few seconds to check if it was Phoenix who had pulled up, it shouldn’t have been because she had said she was going to be at least 15 minutes and it had only been about 10, and it isn’t. The car that pulls up is an old ford truck that Coyote instantly recognises from the bit of customised body work on the side of an apple tree with your family name through the bark. His eyes widen and his jaw goes slack as you climb out of the driver's side, having instantly spotted the inebriated blonde leaning against the wall.  

“(Y/N)” 

He tries, and fails, to hide the shock in his voice and his face as you give him a small smile. “Hey Coyote.”

He props himself up from the wall and gives you a hug, you were friends before everything went down and he missed you. “What are you doing here?” You return the hug and give him a small squeeze, you adored Coyote and had missed him as well. The two of you would frequently have wine nights together whenever he was in town while you and Jake were still together.

“I’ve come to take the cowboy home.” 

As you pull away from Coyote your eyes rake over Jake's figure slumped against the wall, he had yet to see you instead keeping his eyes on the night sky his mind somewhere other than the present moment. You had only seen Jake this drunk once before, it was at a frat party while you were in college (he had gotten some time away from the naval academy and had come to visit you) and he had got into a testosterone filled competition with one of the members and ended up doing a high number of mystery shots and a keg stand. The night ended with you dragging him back to your room at your sorority next door and Jake admitting to be in love with you. 

“Do you know where he lives?”

You look up at Coyote and shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t but I don’t live too far and was planning on bringing him to mine.”  Coyote nods slowly at your words, he had a small smile on his face and his eyes were soft. He was surprised you were here, mainly because he wasn’t convinced Jake had actually managed to get in contact with you but also because he knew Jake had broken your heart 5 years ago, your life had fallen apart because of the man and yet, here you were. You always were a caring soul, one that was prepared to drop everything for someone you loved and cared for no matter how long ago it was you loved them.

“It might be best to take him to his own place, that way he’s close to base if he gets called in suddenly, I can give you the address.” 

“Okay, let me get him into the truck first”

You approached Jake slowly, afraid to startle him with how drunk he is but he fails to notice you even as you stand directly in front of him. He was well and truly gone and you wondered if he would remember any of this in the morning. You reach out and gently touch his shoulder. 

“Jake?” Your voice is soft, again trying not to startle the man, and you could swear that the goofy smile he was wearing got bigger at the sound of your voice. Slowly his head dips forward from where it was leaning against the wall so that Jake is now looking at you.

“Peaches!” While your voice had been soft and quiet, Jake’s was loud and a little high-pitched as he called your name out in surprise, and you jump at it slightly since you weren’t expecting the volume. Jake clumsily pushes himself off the wall, standing to his full height while stumbling a little, and wraps his arms around your body to pull you into a tight hug. 

You let out a small grunt at the force he uses to pull you into him and though you wrap your arms around Jake, more so to steady the tall blonde than anything, you cringe at the smell. You were used to Jake smelling fresh, like clean linens and whatever aftershave or cologne he was wearing, but now he absolutely stunk of whiskey and cheap beer. You scrunch your nose up at the smell and Coyote chuckles at the sight, causing you to flip him off as you manage to pull back from Jake’s death grip. 

“Let’s get you home cowboy.” 

Jake hums and sways where he stands as you fully separate from him and take a step back expecting him to follow you, but he just stands there with the goofy, toothy grin still on his face as he watches you. You huff and cross your arms over your chest, looking over to Coyote for help, “Come on cowboy, I ain’t strong enough to carry ya.” 

Instead of replying, he just reaches his arms out to you wanting nothing more than to have you in them once again. You sigh again and Coyote lets out another chuckle, which gets a quick glare from you, but he steps forward and wraps his arms around his friend. “C’mon bud, let’s get you into the truck.” 

You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to Coyote as you walk around and open the door of your truck as Jake stumbles behind you with the help of Coyote. “C’mon, in you get.”  

You step to the side of the door to allow Jake to climb in, which he struggles to do. He misses the step a few times, causing giggles to spill from his lips every time he misses and small ‘yes!’ to slip when he finally gets the step and manages to push himself into the truck. You affectionately roll your eyes at his antics and smile to yourself as you reach in and make sure his seatbelt is buckled. 

As you finish buckling him in, he reaches for your face and turns you toward him for a kiss but you swerve your head just in time so his lips land on your cheek instead. You close your eyes as you feel your heart clench at the action, and you hate yourself for it especially as you close the door and see the sad look in his eyes and pouting lips. But you have to ignore it, if you didn’t your resolve would break and you would be left heartbroken all over again. 

You join Coyote at the front of the car and lean against the hood with your arms crossed, matching his pose but your eyes are cast to the sky while his lingers on you. You sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the soft summer breeze and the presence of one another. You always felt safe with Coyote, like you could lay the very secrets of the universe at his feet and he wouldn’t tell a soul, his energy was calming. 

The quiet was broken by Coyote, who had been eying you up and down with his eyes lingering on the oversized jumper with a faded imprint of ‘Navy’ on your figure that obviously belonged to Jake at one point in time.

“I can’t believe you came.” You shifted from looking towards the sky to looking toward the ground as you let out a small sigh before looking up at Coyote. 

“Neither can I.” 

“Why did you?” 

You sigh once again, something you seem to be doing a lot tonight, and shrug your shoulders as you chew on your bottom lip. You didn’t even know why you came yourself, for all intents and purposes you should absolutely despise Jake Seresin. Should hate him with your entire being. Yet, you can’t. Something inside of you just refuses to let you hate him, probably that stupid part of your heart and mind that still clings onto the love you had for him. 

“I don’t know.” 

Coyote doesn’t question you further and the two of you fall into silence once again, one that Coyote once again breaks as he glances back at your car. “Can’t believe you're still driving this thing.” 

You snort and smile up at him, “Please, as if I was gonna let him into my jag like this.” 

Coyote lets out a low whistle as he raises an eyebrow, “A jag? Damn girl, have you gone all upper class on us?” You roll your eyes and push at his shoulder with a laugh. You had genuinely missed Coyote, missed the banter with him.

“How ya getting home, Javy?” 

“A friend, Phoenix..er.. Natasha is coming to get me.” 

You nod your head, a contentment settling inside you knowing that Javy was going to be safe seeing as your truck only fit you and Jake into it. Speaking off, you glance back into the car and see that Jake had his head thrown back against the headrest with his eyes closed. He looked like he was sleeping and part of you felt relieved that you wouldn’t have to try and converse with the drunk Texan while you brought him home. 

“Speaking off, here she is.” 

You look back ahead of you, seeing a brunette step out of a car with a bit of a sour look on her face, probably from being woken up at such an unreasonable hour to come pick up her idiot friends. Coyote turns to you as she approaches, telling you Jake's address and giving you a tight hug that you gladly return and whispering a quiet ‘take care of him’ as he pulls away. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll uh… I’ll stay the night. Make sure he doesn’t choke to death in his sleep, y’know.” Coyote chuckles at your comment and places a quick kiss to your forehead as you round him and head to the driver side door, hearing the brunette grumpily ask who you and why you have Jake in your van, smiling slightly as Javy simply says your an old friend before the conversation fades out as you close the door. 

---

For the most part, the drive back to Jake's place is relatively quiet. He had, in fact, fallen asleep in the five minutes you stood with Coyote and waited for his ride to arrive. The only sound is the rumbling of your engine alongside the soft snores and grumbling that fall from Jake’s lips until a rough speed ramp jolts him awake. 

Waking with a start, Jakes head whips from side to side as he tries to figure out where he was, if only the world around him would stop spinning for two seconds. He groans loudly, head falling forward as he closes his eyes to stop the spinning and the nausea starting to creep its way through his body.

“Sorry.” Your voice is gentle as you glance at him from the side of your eye, concern falling into place on your face as you watch the aviator try and right himself. Another small groan falls from Jake’s lips in response as he lifts his palms and digs them into his eyes, rubbing gently at them in a desperate attempt to prevent the spinning from happening again once he opens his eyes. 

“Here” You had reached down into the console beside you and lifted a bottle of water that you had grabbed from your fridge as you rushed out the door, the bottle was slightly slippery with the condensation that covered it. Jake's eyes opened, and though the world had stopped spinning like he was on a carousel it swayed gently and he was still seeing double, something that was evident as he reached for the bottle of water and missed. 

After a few tries, in which his face scrunches up in concentration, he finally gets it and gives a small mumbled ‘thank you’. You smile to yourself, biting down on your lip to suppress the giggle that was bubbling its way to the surface slowly, which became even more difficult as Jake struggled to open the bottle in his hands. 

Finally a small giggle slipped past your lips and Jake's look of concentration finally broke as he smiled at the sound, you always had the most beautiful laugh and he was so happy he got to hear it again in person. In the time since you’re break up, on nights he couldn’t sleep, he would watch old videos he had taken of you just to hear your laugh after he told some stupid joke. It was during the nights that Jake missed you the most, when he was at his most vulnerable and the adrenaline from the day faded, leaving him with little to distract him from his thoughts. 

Which was how he found himself with a new woman in his bed almost every night, his reputation as a playboy developing out of a habit of not wanting to be alone. Of wanting something, or someone there to distract him. But even then it didn’t help, when the fun was over and the women were asleep his mind still drifted, memories of you at the forefront of every thought and how no one would ever compare to you. 

Jake had regretted breaking up with you every day of his life since he left, but Jake Seresin was nothing if not a proud man and refused to acknowledge the regret, instead burying it so deep inside himself that he came of as callous or cruel whenever someone mentioned your name and he simply dismissed it, moving the conversation on in such a manner that it made it seem like he regretted the relationship itself, though that was such a far cry from the truth. Each day he craved and yearned for you, but he was too proud to admit it. 

Too proud to admit he had made a mistake. Too proud to let anyone know that every night he lay awake and thought about having you in his arms once again, thinking about what would have happened if he had stayed. Would you have settled down by now? Would you be living the picket-fence dream that you have had since you were a child? You and him and a couple of little rugrats running around one of your family farms? He imagined it all in those sleepless nights, how much different life would have been and how much happier he could have been if he had just stayed. 

Jake says nothing as he finally manages to unscrew the lid of the water bottle and downs the entire bottle, it doesn’t sober him up completely but it makes the room stop spinning a little and it settles the nausea climbing up his throat. He wants to speak, wants to say anything just to have a conversation with you but a little voice in the back of his mind tells him he’s better staying quiet. Better not ruining a moment he may never experience again. Better off just basking in your presence in the car next to him. 

The silence between the two of you isn’t awkward like one would expect, it’s calm and serene as if you were simply two friends, maybe two lovers on a midnight drive just watching the lights of San Diego whizz by as you drive. But it had been a long time since the two of your were lovers, an even longer time since you were just friends, and a voice in the back of your mind reminds you not to get comfortable that when morning comes you would leave before he ever wakes up and that he probably won’t even remember anything, so there was no point in trying, no matter how desperately your heart was screaming at you that this was your chance to rekindle the love you once had for Jake. The love you truthfully still had for him if you were to be honest with yourself, but you were rarely honest with yourself when it came to your emotions. It was hard to be after locking them away for so long.

You arrive in Fightertown quite quickly, the streets of San Diego almost completely empty and letting you drive without having to stop, and you’re quick to follow street signs until you reach the street Coyote told you slowing down the car and looking at the house numbers as you drove past to make sure you were stopping at the right one. Though, you ended up not needing to use the numbers recognizing Jake’s pride and joy sitting in the driveway, the same old truck he got in high school that he meticulously maintained to this very day. 

You smile to yourself, pulling into the space behind it before turning to Jake, who was already staring at you with a small smile on his face and a wistful look in his eyes. It was a look you were all too familiar with, one you wore yourself countless times whenever anyone brought Jake up or when you visited home and you passed by Jake’s family ranch, his parents always wanted to see you but you always claimed you were busy.

It would have broken your heart to see them, they had been like family to you growing up and even more so when you and Jake got together with his mom and nana always insisting that they knew you and their Jake were gonna get married one day.  You had seen them once since the breakup, at your brother's wedding a year after you broke up and they insisted that their Jakey was still in love with you, that he always wrote to them and always always asked about you and how you were doing but that just tore your heart to shreds again after you had just started to piece it back together again. So you hadn't seen them since, it was selfish and you knew that, knew they missed you because your momma always let you know that they were asking about you and when you were gonna come see them, but you couldn’t put yourself through that pain again. 

You’re shaken from your thoughts by Jake's soft voice calling out the all too familiar nickname he had given you in high school, “Peaches?” You let out a shaky breath and blink away the tears starting to form your eyes as Jake reaches out to wipe them away before they fall, and gods do you wanna reach over and pull him into you. 

Hold him tight to your chest and never let him go again, kiss him again and again until your lips are totally and completely bruised because even drunk out of his mind he was still the most handsome man you had ever seen and his hands on your cheeks almost burned from the heat radiating of them and the blush quickly rushing over your cheeks. 

It was actually the first time he had really touched you since you met him at the bar, had fleetingly touched you to try and kiss you when you buckled him in but this was different. This was tender and soft as he wiped at your lash line as tears continued to fill your eyes despite your best attempts to keep them down. It reminded you of all the times Jake had held you while you went through law school with every breakdown and exam and rejection. It reminded you of when he loved you and that thought almost ripped your heart out because he didn’t love you, not anymore. He made that clear the day that he left.  

Jerking your head away from his hands, you rub at your eyes as you quickly climb out of your truck and take a few deep breaths before making your way over to Jakes to open the door, prepared to help him out but he manages by himself, only stumbling slightly as he starts towards his door. You were avoiding looking at him, so you miss the frown that has settled on his face, miss the heartbreak in his eyes at the fact that you had pulled away from him.  

You close the door to the jeep, locking it as you walk towards Jake who is fighting with his front door, trying and failing to insert the key into the door. The frown that was on his face had been replaced by a look of frustration with his eyebrows knitted together revealing the furrows that had formed on his forehead over time. Gently you reach out, taking the key from him and insert into the door and turning until you feel it unlock. You open the door and step back, letting Jake step into his home with you following behind and slipping your shoes off at the door. 

“Okay cowboy, let’s get you to bed.” You watch as Jake stumbles about a little, leaning against the walls for support as he slowly makes his way through the halls of his home with you following behind to make sure he didn’t truly fall and injure himself. After about a 5 minute struggle of stumbling and having to stop every second for Jake to lean against the wall to gain his bearings, you finally make it to his room where he flops down on the bed face first. 

You let out a small sigh and poke him on the back a few times, “C’mon you, you can’t sleep in your jeans.” With his face buried into the blanket, Jakes words are muffled and you can’t quite make them out but you were sure he was arguing with you so you just turn away from him and scan the room looking for a dresser. When your eyes land on them, you walk over and begin rifling through them to find a set of sweats and a t-shirt that he could throw on. 

You quickly find a shirt and move onto the last drawer of the dresser, as you pull it out you notice a photo wedged in between all the sweat pants in the drawer (seriously why did one man need so many sweatpants?). Part of you wants to ignore it but another part is filled to the brim with curiosity and you have an internal battle with yourself as to whether or not you should reach in and have a look. 

Ultimately your curiosity wins out and you finally realise why the saying is curiosity killed the cat, the photo is of you and Jake a week before your breakup at your sister's wedding. You looking stunning in your bridesmaid dress and Jake handsome as ever in his fresh pressed suit but where Jake would usually be wearing his cowboy hat, you had it on instead and you both had the widest grins on your face. Your eyes scanned the photo with a sombre smile as your heart constricts as what should have been one of the best weeks of your life, celebrating your sister and her new husband, quickly became your worst. 

Quickly, you shove the photo back into its place and pull out a pair of sweats while wiping the tears from your eyes. With sweats and shirt in hand you walk back over to the bed and poke Jake in the back once again, “I’m going to get you some water and advil for the morning. You better be changed by the time I get back.”  

The tone of your voice is one you usually reserve for clients, or your niece and nephew when you have to be strict with them, its one that demands respect and obedience and Jake lifts his head just enough for you to head a slurred “yes ma’am” pass his lips. You nod your head at the response and leave the room, giving Jake privacy to get changed, and head to the kitchen you passed on the way in. 

It was a mess, takeout wrappers were lying all over the counter and there were empty beer bottles on the small island, dishes were piled up everywhere and it shocked you. Jake was a clean man, the navy had drilled a certain level of cleanliness into him and even before that you knew his momma had drilled it into him. 

You quickly shake the shock out of your system with a shake of your head, it was not your problem. With a quick look through the various cupboards you find a clean glass and fill it almost all the way to the top with water, and quickly find a small drawer full of various medicine including advil which you pop 2 out of the packaging. 

Once you have everything you need, you make your way back to the bedroom and see Jake has managed to get himself out of his clothes but was struggling to get his sweats on, hopping about on one leg as he struggled to get the second leg in. You cock your head to the side slightly, looking at him with an amused smile as he continues to hop around for a few seconds before finally managing to get both legs into the sweats and pulling them onto his hips. Which you were glad for, because you were not prepared to help him get dressed.  

Jake plops himself back into bed, this time on his back, as you place the water and advil beside his alarm clock, making sure to keep your back to Jake as you did not want to see that lovestruck look he seemed to have since you picked him up. You also knew that if you turned round and acknowledge him, he would try and convince you to get into bed with him. To stay the night cuddled up in his arms, and while you missed cuddling up with Jake, this was not the time or place for you to do that. No, you were gonna stay on the sofa and leave in the morning. 

Quickly you turn away from Jake and leave his room, missing the pout on his lips and the way his hands reach out to you for a hug, closing the door behind you just enough that you couldn’t see him but would be able to hear him if he were to fall during the night. With a sigh, you settle down onto the couch for the night, not needing a blanket as the June heat continues into the night. Eventually, after hours of staring at Jake's ceiling you fall asleep to thoughts of how much you missed the blonde. 

---

With a groan, Jake slowly blinks awake. The small amount of light that filtered through his blackout curtains was proving to be too bright as it caused a surge of pain through his head. Which, by the way, felt like there was someone was power drilling into it. Slowly, so as to not provoke his hangover any further, Jake sits himself up in bed with his back against the headboard as he reaches to rub up at his eyes and search his memories for how the hell he got home last night.

Truly he couldn’t remember much after the 4th shot he had taken with Fanboy and Payback, which had been after god knows how many beers and at least 3 whiskeys on the rocks, he could vaguely remember Coyote helping him out the door about 2 hours after the shot, it had been his last drink with Coyote swapping out anything he ordered with a water, but Jake had been none the wiser meaning he was slightly more sober when Coyote was helping him, though his memories were still fuzzy. 

He could remember calling someone, the screen of his phone fuzzy in his memory and the conversation that was had on it completely gone from his mind. He remembered a truck with an apple tree on it and a figure with (texture) (colour) hair, it was weird, he was almost certain it had been you but it most definitely could not have been. 

You weren’t even in San Diego and even if you were, he was sure the number he had for you had been disconnected as he had tried phoning you multiple times since the breakup.  It must have been Phoenix who had got him, though that didn’t seem right when he thought it over. 

Finally pulling his hands away from his eyes, Jake looks to his bedside locker to take in the time and he groans as the digital clock reads 14:00. God he had slept late, the first time since he was a kid, having grown up on the family ranch Jake was always up at 6am almost every morning since he was 10 years old and could go out and help his dad, a habitat which came in handy when adjusting to the military schedule. 

Eyes moving past the clock, Jake clocks a bottle of water and two advil sitting beside it, which didn’t exactly scream Phoenix to him. The girl would relish in the fact that Jake was massively hungover, so maybe Coyote had left it for him. Jake quickly takes the pain killers and downs the whole bottle of water, sitting for a minute with his eyes closed and leaning against the headboard to let the medicine start to take effect. 

Though he was trying to stay in bed until the medicine took effect, the sound of movement in his kitchen puts him on alert. Who would be in his home? Coyote? No, Coyote would have texted him that he was coming over. Rooster? Nah, he was 100% sleeping off his own hangover or spending the day with Angel. 

Gently, Jake slips from the bed and for the first time he notices he’s been changed into a pair of black sweats and an old t-shirt and he scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. He didn’t remember getting changed, still trying to fight to gain the memories of how he got home, and so he hoped that he did it himself not wanting to be embarrassed to find one of his friends had to strip him down out of his jeans and shirt.  

Moving on from his confusion, Jake slowly makes his way out of his room, trying his best to be quiet so as to not spook whoever was moving about the kitchen. As he steps into the kitchen, Jake comes to a standstill and he begins to think he was still drunk or maybe he was high, or just hallucinating due to a combination of sleep deprivation and his hangover. Because here you are, flitting about his kitchen, which was definitely cleaner than when he left the night before.

As you turn towards Jake, you jump and place a hand over your heart to try and stop the rapid beating because, despite it being his apartment, you were not expecting him to be standing behind you looking like he had seen a ghost. 

“Fucking christ Jake!” The shock of the scare finally settles, though the beating of your heart doesn’t. If anything it increased under the intensity of Jake's gaze. It had been a long time since anyone had made your heart beat like this, with such intensity and strength that it felt like it could break your ribs and rip itself out of your chest. In fact, there was only ever one person that made your heart beat like that and he was standing in front of you.  

From the look of confusion on Jake's face you gather that he didn’t remember much of last night, didn’t remember calling you or you picking him up to bring him home and you couldn’t really blame him for not remembering with the amount he had drank, according to the messages you had exchanged with Coyote on your old cell. 

Jake stares at you, his hangover pushed to the back of his mind, leaning against the counter of his kitchen with your arms crossed against your chest and your eyes cast to the ground, avoiding looking at Jake. Jake thought he would never see you again, that you had disappeared from his life forever when you broke up five years ago but here you are. What shocked him even more was the fact that it was you last night, you had come and picked him up and made sure he had gotten home safely, looked like you had stayed the night as well if the dishevelled sofa was any indication. Probably to make sure nothing happened to him in his sleep.  

“You came?” 

You finally look up at Jake, a soft smile on your face and he could melt into the ground at the softness in your eyes. You should hate him, should absolutely despise him, he wouldn’t blame you. He knows he gave you a million and one reasons too when he left, when he broke your heart and left you crying in the corner booth of the cafe. You should hate him, he broke your heart into a million pieces and left the country like a coward while you had to stay in your shared apartment, with your shared friends, in a city you saw yourself settling down with him in and piece yourself back together by yourself. He hated himself for that. 

---

He had asked you to meet him in the little café that was a 20 minute walk from your old highschool that had been opened by one of your highschool friends, you had promised to always drop in when you were in town and had been there quite a few times already since arriving only a week earlier. But he hadn’t been in it since that day, he was sure he would have hot coffee thrown in his face if he dared show his face. 

As usual, the two of you were nestled into the booth in the furthest corner of the cafe, just hidden enough that nobody could see the two of you but you could still see everybody bustling about. It was the perfect spot for people watching, which you usually did, pointing out people you once knew and discussing the latest in their lives (whether or not any of it was true was beside the point), but that day was different. Jake held a tension in his body, one you hadn’t seen before. One that quite frequently scared you, it put you on edge as if one wrong word and Jake would explode. It was like he was teetering on the edge. 

The silence was stiff and thick with the same tension Jake held in his body, it felt suffocating and the air around you felt like it was compressing your chest. Until it was shattered and suddenly it wasn’t the air stopping you from breathing properly but panic as Jake uttered the words you never wanted to hear. 

“I think we should break up.” 

You drop your cup on the table, thankfully it was nearly empty so there wasn’t much of a splash back as the ceramic collided with the table and shattered into thousands of pieces on the table. You were sure that if someone looked at your heart at the very moment, it would be in a similar state. Shattered beyond repair. 

“W-w-what?” You can hardly hear your own voice from the way your heart is thundering in your ears, can barely see the ceramic pieces that have fallen onto your lap as the tears begin to fill your lash line and threaten to ruin your mascara.  

You certainly can’t see the twitch of Jake's jaw and how his eyes are cast out the window of the café avoiding looking at you, afraid that if he did he wouldn’t be able to do this. You don’t see the way he picks at his nail beds or how his adam’s ` apple bobs as he tries to keep his composure and convince himself that this was for the best, that its better for you if he was out of your life. If he broke your heart so you would never think of him again, so you could let him go. 

You want to turn to face him, want to look into his eyes as he does this. But you can’t, your eyes are glued to the space in front of you, pupils wide and mouth open in shock. “I-is there someone else?” The thought absolutely destroyed you, that Jake was cheating on you that he found someone else. You close your eyes so tight that it hurts at the thought, preparing for the impact that yes there was someone else. But what came was so so much worse. 

“There’s no one else. I just don’t love you anymore.” A sob racks through your body and pushes through your lips as the tears that had gathered in your eyes finally springing free and streaking down your face rapidly. Jake closes his eyes at the sound and clenches his fists, each sob you let out breaking his resolve. He needed out. Needed to go before he fully broke. It was better this way. 

So he does. He gets up from the booth and leaves the cafe, not looking back at your shaking form as your friend approached having heard the shattering of the ceramic. It was better this way. Jake would rather you hate him for the rest of your life than you be left heartbroken because he was never coming home. 

---

“You called” 

Your voice is soft as you stop in front of him, your arms still crossed against your chest, and you look up at him through your eyelashes. Jake’s are filled with shock, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. 

“Why?”

“I guess I’m just a sucker for torturing myself.” 

Jake wants to reach for you, to pull you into him and hold you for the first time in 5 years. Wants to wrap his arms around you and never let you go again. But he doesn’t, instead he stays glued to the spot, mouth opening and closing as he tries to form some kind of coherent thought or sentence. 

“H-How?” Jake mentally slaps himself, of course he knew how he had phoned you. But, the number he had for you was disconnected. He knew this because he sent you message after message only for them to not be delivered and he had called for it to go straight to voicemail, he shouldn’t have been able to reach you. 

“I broke my phone and had to pull out my old phone while it’s getting repaired. It was pure luck that it happened now.” 

Jake feels himself nodding along dumly, that made sense, if you had changed phones and left the other one to die and only be used as a backup then of course none of his messages went through, of course none of his calls went through. Jake clears his throat, the ability to think and speak finally returning to him as the shock of seeing you finally settles. 

“What are you still doing here?” 

You shrug your shoulders gently, eyes moving around the now spotless kitchen and the tidy living room, “Wanted to make sure you were okay. That you didn’t choke on your own tongue or anything. I woke up at about 11ish and was going to go home, but I…I couldn’t make myself do it. Was still worried about you so I kept myself busy as you can probably see.”

Jake's eyes move over the kitchen, you always had been an anxious cleaner and if the cleanliness of his kitchen was any indication you were plenty nervous. Though he wasn’t sure if you were anxious about being around him or because you were concerned for his well being.

“I should go now though, I have client meetings later.” 

You go to move around Jake, but he follows your movements and holds his hands up in front of him to stop you. 

“Let me get us lunch as a thank you for looking after me.”

You really shouldn’t, should get going so you can shower and get changed for heading into the office. Should leave and never look back. Shouldn’t let Jake Seresin back into your life. And yet, you just nod your head and tell him “okay”. 

 ---

You sit in a semi awkward silence as you wait for the lunch to arrive, the air is thick with tension and unanswered questions. Jake had a million and one he wanted to ask you about your life, about how much had changed in the past 5 years, about your family, about everything and anything under the sun just to talk to you. You had one question and one question only. 

“Why did you do it?” 

Your voice is soft as you play with the ends of your (Jake's) jumper, eyes cast down to look at what your hands were doing rather than what Jake was doing. 

“Do what?”  You can hear the genuine confusion in his voice and can imagine the way his eyebrows would be all scrunched up as he thought about all the things he did. 

“Tell me you didn’t love me anymore.” 

“It wasn’t true.” Your eyes snap to Jake, watching as he picks at his nail bed and avoids looking at you, and you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion. “What?”

“It wasn’t true. What I said that day.” Jake clears his throat as the words get caught, “I-I lied. I thought it would be easier.” 

You can feel anger rising in you now, disbelief settling in as you raise your eyebrows at Jake. “Fucking easier?” Jake flinches at the harshness in your voice, sinking back against his sofa, as you stand and cross your arms over your chest, scoffing at his comment that it was easier.  

“You broke me Jake. I was depressed for months, had to take time off work because I just could not function enough to get myself out of bed. Desi and Cori were so concerned about me that they alternated staying with me because they were scared for my well being. I stopped eating and ended up in hospital. You think it was fucking easier to tell me you didn’t love me?” 

Jake looks up at you shocked, eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly, he didn’t realise how much you suffered when he broke up. You were always so strong that he expected you to pick yourself up and go on with life, never realising just how broken he had made you. He gulps down his shock, instead opting to finally tell you the truth as to why he left. 

“I thought it would be easier for you to hate me. I watched wives and partners destroyed with the news that their husbands weren’t coming home and I was being sent away on a mission where there was no guarantee that I would come home. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want you to have to bury me.” 

 The anger inside you fades away slowly as you take in his words. He didn’t want you to bury him. You had never thought of that, sure you worried when he went on missions but you stressed about his safety but never once did you consider that he might not come home. Maybe that was idealistic of you, maybe some part of you refused to acknowledge the fact that Jake might not come home to keep you safe, to protect your heart. 

But still a part of the anger remains as you grit your teeth together, “That was not your decision to make Seresin.” 

Jake flinches at your use of his last name and sighs lightly and rubs at his face lightly, “I know I know…I…” He lets out a sigh and reaches out to take your hands into his, rubbing his fingers over his knuckles. “I was stupid and naïve. I thought it would be easier for us both if I just left. You could hate me for the rest of time and I would eventually get over you.” 

Your gaze is harsh, eyes narrowed into a small glare that was slowly softening at every word. 

“But god are you hard to get over, I still think of you…Like every day. I think, hey (Y/N) would love this when I see something I know you’d like. I think about telling you about my day, about how you’re doing and if you ever got that promotion. I dream about settling down with you. About taking over my farm or the orchard with you. About having a family with you. When I’m flying, I think about you. About your smile, about how your eyes light up when you’re talking about something you're passionate about. It grounds me, keeps me level headed because some part of my mind is still telling me I need to make it back alive…that I need to make it back to you.” 

Tears start to gather in your eyes at the confession, and you bite down on your lip as you take a second to compose your own thoughts. You thought about him too, all the time, even when you shouldn’t be. 

“It was stupid.” Jake chuckles at your bluntness but as he looks into your eyes he sees no malice or cruelty behind the words, the glare you previously wore not gone from your gaze. Instead there was a lingering sadness, a pain that seeped into his bones as you stared at him. 

“And it was mean and callous and cruel, and I should hate you Jake Serein. With every fibre in my body I should despise you. But…I…I just can’t.” You let out a shaky breath, a few tears now falling from your eyes, “God I wish I could hate you. It would make my life so much easier, would make it so much easier to just move on with my life. But…but part of me still loves you. Still wants you. Still thinks about you, every goddamn day.” 

Jake stands, he wants to pull you into him and kiss you until the sun goes down and he would have, had the front door not gone with the delivery driver standing outside with your lunch. Instead, Jake hangs his head and lets out a sigh before lifting your hand to his and pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. 

---

Lunch is quickly eaten and, needing some air, you suggest going for a walk in the neighbourhood after you cancelled all your afternoon appointments citing you were feeling unwell and didn’t want to pass it on, as partner no one really questioned you. The walk is nice and you feel nostalgic. Though the warning bells are going off in your mind telling you to walk away, that nothing good can come out of this. That, despite the fact you had forgiven Jake for what happened, you didn’t know if you were ready for this again. But those warning bells are drowned out by the sound of your beating heart rushing in your ears, encouraging you to give in to your desires for once, to give in to the feeling of once again being loved by Jake. 

You walk for hours, the confessions earlier in the day opening you up to talking like old friends would, the vulnerability you both showed letting you open up to once another once again. Catching up on the intricacies of each others lives that you had missed, you let Jake know you were now an aunt to a darling little niece called Adeline and a menace of a nephew Carson who wanted nothing more than to help his mom and dad in the orchard and loved to climb trees to do this, almost giving your sister a heart attack in the process, and Jake lets you know that his baby sister is engaged to her high school sweetheart who was now teaching at the school with a wedding due in September time so they avoid the scorching summer heats. 

You tell him about making partner at your firm and being relocated to run the San Diego office and he is so so proud of you and how far you’ve come. He tells you all about the dagger squad and how much he’s loving being in San Diego but misses home and can’t wait to get home in a few weeks time for the wedding, which he has a plus one for by the way. 

It’s like old times, you fall into the conversation with such ease it was like you were never separated. Like you were never angry at him. 

By the time sunset arrives, you and Jake are standing side by side on the beach admiring the changing of colours in the sky when suddenly the colours of the sky are blocked out by the figure of the tall blonde. Both your confessions from earlier still hang in the air, seeing as you were interrupted by the delivery driver at the door and you avoided the conversation your entire walk, finding something new to talk about whenever a silence fell between the two of you to avoid it coming. 

Because, frankly, you were terrified. It had been such a long time since you had let yourself be so emotionally vulnerable and that was scary, you were scared of Jake was going to react, despite practically ripping his heart out and placing it in your hands himself.  

You raise an eyebrow as your heart begins to pound in your heart, Jake looked serious and his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he tried to think of what he wanted to say, didn’t know how much more he could say after spilling his heart out. 

“Can we- can we try again?” Though that wasn’t exactly the words Jake wanted, the words having been already spoken earlier, his voice is soft as he reaches out to you, hand moving gently up your neck to cup your jaw with his thumb rubbing soft circles on your cheeks. You lean into the touch, against your better judgement, and let your eyes flutter close your own hands reaching out to touch Jake.  

You wanted to, god did you want to give Jake another chance, but again the alarm bells were firing of in your head and this time they were hard to ignore. They were reminding you that Jake was still enlisted, he could be shipped off again to god knows where and you wouldn’t be able to follow, he might not come home, he might not come home and you didn’t know if you could survive that. 

“I’m scared Jake.” You let out a shuddering breath, eyes opening to look into Jake’s. There was nothing but gentleness and love reflected back at you, and god how you missed looking into his eyes. Missed the tender moments where you would just hold one another and bask in each other’s presence, enjoying gentle caresses and fleeting touches used to ground one another. “I…can’t…I can’t do that again. I can’t go back to that dark place” Your eyes fall to where your hands are placed on Jakes chest, the temptation to draw them back and retreat flowing through your mind. 

Your voice is rough and breaking as your eyes gloss over with tears at the thought of him breaking your heart again, at the thought of him leaving, of him dying, and he couldn’t blame your mistrust. Couldn’t blame your fear. A second hand is quickly up and cupping your jaw, fingers now wiping away the tears forming in your eyes. 

“You won’t have to. I’m permanently stationed at top gun, training as part of the dagger squad and instructing.” You sniffle a little and look back up at Jakes face, “And if it means getting to be with you again I will give up dagger squad. I’ll go to instructing full time. I’ll stop flying.” 

You roll your eyes at him, “You could never give up flying Jake, it’s your life.” 

“I would give it up for you (Y/N).” You can see the sincerity in his eyes, the truthfulness there. He would genuinely give up flying if you asked him, and though you never would, knowing he was that dedicated to having you back ebbed your fears a little, though they were never fully away. It would take a while for that to happen. But you could feel your resolve break, every fibre in your being that was screaming for you to say no drowned out by the beating of your heart that was screaming at you to say yes. 

“Okay. One date.” 

Jake’s lips stretch into a cheshire cat grin and you roll your eyes at him once again, shoving him gently away from your body, “One Seresin, and we’ll see where we go from there.” 

“Oh Peaches, one date is all I need.”  

#top gun maverick x reader #top gun maverick x yn #top gun maverick x you #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x yn #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x yn #top gun maverick angst #top gun maverick hurt comfort #jake seresin angst #jake seresin hurt comfort #tw.alcohol #tw.drinking #tw.drunkeness #tw.being drunk #tw.angst #tw.depression #tw.depressive episode #august.writes

[bontensucker]

Under your spell - Part III

Minors don’t interact

Summary : The great inquisition. In a small village during medieval old time, a young crusader has been ordained priest. A rumor of a witch cursing the place with plague has rapidly spread around. To find the witch and put her at the stake, the holy knight has instilled fear and mistrust but he finds resistance in you. Starting to have dirty thoughts about you, he gets you jailed, so sure you’re the sinner he’s chasing after. But are you really the one you pretend not to be ?

WC : 3.7K

Content : Historical au, angst, names (whore, slut, witch, demon...) , lots of cursing at the end. But basically pure angst for this chapter

Pairing : Crusader!Taiju Shiba x Fem!Reader.

🕮 Previous chapter | 🕮 Next chapter

When you wake up, Taiju is nowhere to be seen. He deserted his bed and left you alone, your hands still chained together and you soiled with his cum still deep inside your womb. You put your hand between you legs and it’s still sore from your night of passion.

You know it was a bewelderment moment for him.

You did not expect him to be there. You know he’s a man of his word. And you’d be dead by the end of the day, regardless your new feelings for him.

You try to repress them the moment you remember how you felt at home in his arms, his big warm hands on your skin, his lips on your throat, and the way he went so hard yet so good inside you. You let yourself smells his scent just one more time on his pillow and then you force yourself to get up.

You clean your legs a bit and try to find something to cover yourself with as he ruined your clothes. You open his closet and find a white linen shirt that fits you like a dress because he’s so tall it’s oversized for you.

« Will do. » You say looking at you in the mirror and then you wait.

You know the guard will come fetch you, back to your cell or directly at the stake but you stay calm.

An hour passes and still no one. You’re looking at the door, expecting for someone to come as the clock ticks your life away.

You let them tie ou up in a dead lience and drag you  out of the room and oustide the church.

You let them tie ou up in a dead lience and drag you  out of the room and oustide the church.

You let them tie ou up in a dead lience and drag you  out of the room and oustide the church.

You cross the place until you reach the plateform where the executioner is waiting with a torch.

The crowd starts to howler at you the moment you appear, and you hear words that don’t suit you.

Witch. Whore. Sinner. Slut. Demon. Devil. Killer.

You’ve done nothing wrong but they need a culprit.

Some of them are throwing rotten vegetables or rocks at you. You get hurt in the process and your head starts to bleed.

You fall to the ground, people are spiting on you, trying to kick you and when you lift your head, you see him. He sits in a chair in the middle of the notables of the village, on another plateform in front of yours.

And even if his full attention heads to you, his eyes don’t meet yours.

You shiver, try to not look at him but you can’t bring yourself to focus on anything else.

Look at me priest. Look at me crusader. Look at me Taiju…

The soldiers helps you to stand up and make you walk to the stake. When you turn around the crowd his silent.

Only torches here and there are lighting the place up and they’re all looking at the inquisitor.

He stands up and open a parchment that he read out loud. But you don’t understand it. You can’t. This voice was whispering sweet nothing to your ear hours ago.

« Y/n, you are find guilty of sorcery, attempt murder on a God’s servant, spreading plague around the village, of curse on our dear people with intention of killing children, woman and men. Your possessions will be destroyed. Your name will be forgotten and your remains will not be burried in our consecrated land. By the will of our Church and our almighty God, you are excommunicated. » He stops here and looks at the crowd for a long minute and for the first time his eyes meet yours for the last words. « I condemn you to burn in the flames of hell until ends of time. »

You don’t feel your eyes water, you don’t hear your sorrows you just look at him until it’s impossible to see through your tears. It’s the first time he sees it too. You’ve always been so tough to him. So brave.

But he doesn’t flinch. He can’t. This is too late. You met each other too late. Just a couple of years ago, when he was still in the battlefield, still a soldier and not a priest, he could’ve meet you, he could have marry and cherish you. But it’s too late. He solemnly swear to dedicate all his love and life to God, and you, are going to die.

« If you want to repent woman, it is time. »

You don’t know but it’s his ultimate attempt to save you from the flames of hell. At least you will be received in heaven where maybe one day you’ll meet again.

If you want too.

You open your mouth and he hopes for you to say the right words. But you don’t.

« You know me. All of you know who I am. I was born here, I grew up among some of you ! We went to church together ! You know I am not a bad person. You know I did nothing wrong ! If you are looking for a culprit look at this Church. Look at this man they sent to give justice based on nothing but his own prejudice ! I am no evil, and for God’s sake I am not a witch ! You are condemning an innocent ! » You look at him, wiping off your tears, like the proud woman you want to be until the end. « May God forgives you all for your sins. »

The crowd immediately react, they call you a liar and a witch that needs to rot in hell while while the sentries tied you up to the stake.

It’s time. You look at him, still saying I am not a witch, you know I am not, hoping for him to read your lips.

When the executioner turn around in waiting for his order he doesn’t move. He doesn’t nod. He has just his eyes fixed somewhere in the crowd. The Mayor decides to give the order to light up the stake.

You will not give them what they want. They will not see your pain. They will not have your fear.

It’s slowly spreading around you. The fire starts to take over and you feel an extrem pain licking at your feet. But you still look at him. A thick smoke starts to cover your vision and when you can’t handle it anymore you start to cry out in utter pain.You never felt so much pain. You are burning alive whle the smoke is stranggling you and you can’t breath anymore. You are dying.

It happens fast.

Someone you don’t know is flying over the crowd, shouting to people to make way. They take out a dagger and cut your ropes. Your shirt his on fire, already consuming your right leg and arm and he grab water to throw at you.

The last thing you see is a cold stare on you before you lost consciousness.

When you open your eyes you are somewhere you don’t recognize. It’s an abandoned place. The roof partially collapsed and trees are growing their branch inside.

There is nothing inside but your bed, a straw mattress near an old chimney were a fire is burning to keep you warm. When you try to move it’s so painful, you start to cry in pain.

You look at your right arm covered in bandages. Blood and yellow substance are staining it in different places and you inhale sharply remembering you were burning alive.

Am I dead ? You think.

With your left hand you push out the sheet covering you and you can see the very same bandages and stains on your right leg.

You open your mouth but can’t bring yourself to even breath out. You want to cry, to throw up and still you can’t do anything. You are trapped in a deeply injured body and you don’t even know in which state your face is. You might be burned all over.

You try to cry for help but no one is answering. If you are not dead you are going to die here. You need to drink, you need to eat, you need to pee. But you can’t move without feeling like someone is skinning you alive. You never felt such pain. Not even when your body was burning.

You decide not to move. Waiting. But for what ? You don’t even know.

And you think. Your last memory is a stranger’s face over you. Did someone save you ?

It can’t be. Taiju would have killed them on the spot. Maybe they’re already dead. It can’t be. It can’t be !

You stay here for hours until you hear a horse coming your way. When you turn your head to call for help you stops yourself and open your eyes wide.

A tall man you can’t mistake for anyone else stands before you with his cape on. A hood covers his face and you know it’s him before he takes it off.

Taiju is looking at you but he doesn’t smile. He never does.

« You !» you try to lift your body up but he doesn’t allow you, putting you back to bed.

« Do not ! You suffer from very serious injuries. I cleaned the wounds but you have to stay still. »

It wasn’t him who saved you. You’re pretty sure it wasn’t him. Because he didn’t move from his seat when he watched you burn down.

You swallow hard, a tear of pain running along your cheek. « Why ? » you ask him with a broken voice.

He doesn’t answer. He takes a flask of water out of his bag  and put it to your lips and you drink immediately, so thirsty.

« You have been here for five days now. You shall rest. »

« Why ? » that’s all you can ask.

You need to hear it from him. Why is he here ? Why does he sentenced you to death, why are you still alive.

« Stop asking questions woman. »

« Fuck you ! »

It’s like you slapped him hard. He looks at you utterly shocked.

« Why ? » You repeat again.

He sight and take out a piece of bread he put up your mouth.

« Why ? » you insist but he doesn’t answer.

You deny the food, turning your head.

« You need to eat. I know you are hungry. »

More like angry to you. If you could move, you would beat the shit out of him.

« Answer me priest of God ! Why ? »

« I do not want to force you to eat woman, but if you insist,by the saints, I am going to put this food down your throat even if I have to chew it myself. Eat ! »

He starts to lose patience but so do you.

« Then fucking answer me ! I am not going to eat your food until you tell me the truth. »

« THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO SAY ! EAT, NOW ! »

« LEFT ? YOU DID NOT EVEN STARTED TO TALK ! »

He opens his mouth and close it again. He did. But you were asleep. He stayed by your side and talked a lot to you. His prayers where for God though. He offered his life to save yours. But he will never tell you.

It’s between God and him.

« Fine ! I am not eating. »

A vein of anger you know too well dawn on his forehead « You are ! »

« Am not ! »

« ARE ! »

« NOT ! »

« FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN WHY ARE YOU SO STUBBORN ?! »

« SPEAK FOR YOURSELF PRIEST. »

« Fine ! Remember you made me do that ! » he tells you before ripping a piece of bread with his teeth and chewing it.

You think you won. Until you see him bending over you, taking your jaw in his powerful hand and applying pressure on it for you to open.

You try to push him away but it’s too painful. He feed you himself, put it in your mouth and then roughly close it for you to eat.

« Swallow. » he orders.

You would spit it to his face if he wasn’t for him to muzzle you with his hand.

You cry out in pain when he applies more pressure but he doesn’t let you go. « I said swallow. I am not letting you go until you swallow, do you hear me ? »

After a few second of throwing dagger at him with your eyes you swallow and he let go.

« Now, do you want me to do it again or are you going to eat like a good girl ? »

« I am not a fucking child ! »

« Watch your mouth woman. I do not tolerate such language. »

You snort in pain. « So ? What are you going to do ? Put me at the stake ? Oh wait… »

He avoid your furious gaze but doesn’t apologize.

« I did what I had to. »

You roll you eyes at him. « Yes. Right. God’s will. Did he also told you to eat me out ? Did he tells you to shag me ? Maybe he told you to breed me before burning me up ? »

You see his jaw clench painfully but you know he will not play your game.

But you are unstoppable. « YOU RUINED MY LIFE ! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW IF I WILL BE WALKING AGAIN OR EVEN USING MY RIGHT ARM BECAUSE OF YOU ! »

Your heart beats fast and you try your best not to cry again. You need to take a deep breath, to calm down. « You knew I was not a witch. If not I will not be here and so do you. Who was it ? Who saved me ? You owe me the truth. »

He sit next to you, putting his arms on his knees and doesn’t look at you.

« I paid a rogue. I could not do anything else. Do you really think I would still be alive if I did it myself ? I needed to stay alive to heal you. The morning before your execution I went to another city to find help. But no one wanted to deal with the inquisition. I went to three other villages and a city before finding someone, it took me the whole day. He was a murderer and I had to absolve him of his crimes to make the deal… I did pay him in gold too. When I came back with him they were already gathered and ready to burn you. When they lighted the stake up, he was stuck in the crowd. The plan was to take you away before I finished to speak. God knows I did not wanted you to be harmed. »

« Where is he now ? »

Taiju take a pause and says « Gone. »

And you know he doesn’t mean gone far away. A man has died to save you. Even if he was a criminal.

« I would punch you if I could. » You mumble looking at the roof. « I despise you so much. »

The crusader, take his bag and put next to you food and water. « I will be back tomorrow to change your bandage. »

« No, I do not want to see you anymore. »

But he came back. He came the day after, and again. He came everyday just after the dawn to heal you, clean you, feed you.

Even when you tried to push him away, when you didn’t wanted to talk to him. He remained silent but he took care of you. Everyday.

Almost 3 weeks has passed and today you try to stand up. The pain is still here but you know you will never recover and have to learn to live with it. Your skin is burned in the right side. From your shoulder to your fingers and from your knee to your toes.

After a day of attempt you finally stand up. You are limping but you can walk a few steps. You wish you had at least a mirror to look at your face. He never told you what it looked like now. Never made any comment on your body neither when he changed your bandages.

You take off your clothes to examine your body but there is no other big damages you can see.

This is how he finds you when he comes in. You, naked and out of your bed.

He stops when he sees you with your hands touching your face and hair that is now much shorter because of the fire.

He looks at you not saying anything like always. « Is it bad ? » you ask trying to find any wound on your face.

« No. You are still beautiful. » He takes off his cape and put it around your shoulder to cover your body from his eyes.

You look at him not knowing what to say. You were so mad at him since he rescued you. But this is the first time he tells you what he really think about you.

He carefully take you bridal style and put you back in your bed. « You should not have left your bed. You are still wounded. »

« Do not boss me around. I am not a believer anymore thanks to you. »

« I know. » He is calm today. Almost compliant.

He takes off his bag new bandages, apples, bread, soup, whine and water. And then a holy book. His holy book.

He keeps the last one in his hand and avoid your gaze. « I thought maybe you would like to read something. Do you know how to read ? »

« The priest before you teached me. He was a nice man. A good man. Not like you. »

« Yes. Well. » He put the book near your food and stands up.

He heads up to the exit and stops, turning his back on you.

« I am leaving. There is a new crusade starting next month. They ordered me to go fight in God’s name. Our enemies are stronger this time. They need my regiment front line. »

All your anger is disappearing in the moment. Your life and hopes too. « What ? »

« Worry not woman. I already paid someone to take care of you until you can move again. I will leave you enough gold for you to buy a nice cottage and start a new life wherever you want. »

« But- » He doesn’t let you speak. « We will never see each other again. I am going back to fight overseas, I do not expect to come back anytime soon. You will be freed from me. »

You want to say that no, he can’t leave you alone after what he did. He has to take responsibility. But you can’t bring yourself to tell him you want him to stay by your side.

So you do what your pride allows you only « When are you leaving ? »

« Tomorrow. »

« No. »

« Woman- »

« I said no. You cannot go. You are going to die there. I know it. »

« I am a knight, a protector of the faith. I fight in the name of our Lord. I took an oath, if I have to give my life for that, so be it. I failed at being a good priest. I failed at being a good man. I will not fail at doing my duty. » 

You try to find anything to make him stay. But you don’t. « Are you coming back tomorrow ? »

« No. »

« You have to. »

You hear him sight heavily and he looks at the ceiling. « I have to take the lead of my regiment before noon. For your safety this place is miles away from the village. I cannot come back here. Rest assured I will do what I said. You have my word. »

« I do not care ! I do not want your gold. »

« Fine. I will let it at your disposal. If you do not want it, do not take it. Know it will be there anyway. Farewell Y/n. »

He walks out of the place without giving you another look. You hear his horse moving and then he’s gone for good.

You’re stunned, like petrified, he really left. He left without even a last glance. He abandonned you here, in the middle a nowhere to go sacrifice his life in a pointless battle far away from you.

When it clicks, you start to shout until your lungs are sore. « Fuck you ! I hate you ! Hope you fucking die in your stupid war ! May the devil take you away ! Idiot ! Stupid man. I will not miss you ! Fuck I cannot think I gave you my virginity ! I hate you ! I fucking despise you ! You are the worst. You can fight as much as you want you will never erase your sinful life. Monster ! »

You take his holy book and throw it across the room. The book opens to the last page and you see a handwritten message.

You frown and do your best to stand up again but it’s to hard. So you start to crawl on the floor, trying not to lean on your right side.

When you finally make it to the book you take it to read.

There is just two words left here like a summary of what he was unable to say.

Yours, eternally.

T.

Taglist : @p-antomime @bubble4u @aasouthteranoswife @ucancallmeelena @haitaniapologist @kaleeuh

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fandom #tokyo revengers fanfic #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers taiju #taiju shiba #taiju shiba x y/n #taiju x reader #taiju x you #taiju x y/n #tokyorev taiju #tr taiju #tw.corruption #tw.blasphemy #tw.angst #tw.injury #tokyo revengers angst #Taiju shiba angst #taiju shiba smut

[mafuyuslover]

— tagging system.

here you will see how i tag things, feel free to block any of them if it's not your cup of tea﹗

regular answered asks: #xinyi.answers

lewd answered asks: #xinyi.simps

lewding over specific characters: #[character].💦 ; example: #cyno.💦

spicy drabbles either i or the anons wrote: #spicy.drabbles

me talking about something: #xinyi.talks

announcements: #xinyi.annc

headcanons/oneshots: #xinyi.writes

stuff im gonna write: #xinyi.wips

theories: #xinyi.theories

fanfics i reblog: #xinyi.reads

fanart i reblog: #favorite fanart

triggering content: #tw.[insert content]; example: #tw.angst

nsfw oneshots/hcs: #sins

spoilers: #southpark.spoilers , #genshinimpact.spoilers , #projectsekai.spoilers , #reverse:1999.spoilers

+ if you think i should add another tag for something don’t hesitate to notify me!

#south park #genshin impact #project sekai #xinyi.tagging system

[adorzora]

do you miss me like i miss you? ~ s. hanma

word count: 935

synopsis: Shuji sees you wearing the matching earring you gave him after you two have broken up.

tw: angst kinda, mild swearing

a/n: here you go hunny @sleepingem ! I hope i was able to bring your ask to life the way you expected! 💓 i honestly loved writing this, hanma and angst two of my fav things😋😌

please do not plagiarize my work.

The clock reads 2am, it was normal for Hanma to be up this late. He sat on his window sill with a lit cigarette watching the city lights. He sighed and ran a tattooed hand through his hair. Hanma usually spends his nights before going to bed wondering what the exact moment was that things went wrong between you two. It was a nightly routine: sit by the window, light a cigarette, regret his life's choices, repeat. He’s never told anyone, not even Kisaki that his life's biggest regret is letting you go.

....

You were a 2nd year in high school, the first time you remember meeting Shuji Hanma. You first heard about him because he got sent home for beating up another student who “looked at him wrong”. That’s when you caught a glimpse of him, as he was being escorted out of school. A tall and lanky boy, who had brown hair with a blonde streak. You saw the two tattoos on his hands, and you noticed how he wore a single earring. You thought he looked absolutely ridiculous, but another part of you, deep down, thought he looked intriguing. Ever since you saw him that day you couldn’t get his gold eyes out of your head. Little did you know you would come to love everything about him.

The next time you see him he is at the park you like to go to. Again it looks like he just got done beating someone up. He was sitting on a picnic table, his hands bloodied and bruised, smoking a cigarette. “He is sitting at my favorite table” you think to yourself. You like to come to this park and catch up on homework or read and you like sitting at the table that is closest to a tree that offers shade on a warm sunny day. You typically were not someone who is afraid of others so you decided to sit next to him.

Shuji gave you a weird look while wearing that signature smirk he always wears. He couldn't believe someone like you would even dare to sit next to him. Shuji knew who you were of course. You’re popular, always have good grades, and you’re always smiling.

“Why do you get into so many fights?” You ask out of the blue.

Shuji took a minute to register what you said.

“Because people piss me off.”

You thought for a minute before replying,

“Hmmm, that seems as good of a reason as any!” You said while smiling.

Shuji didn’t know the effect your smile had on others until he was on the receiving end of it. His heart swelled and he couldn't help but smile back. He didn’t do his signature smirk but genuinely smiled.

It’s been exactly a year since you and Shuji first met at that picnic table. A place you two have visited often over the course of 365 days. You told him to meet you here because you had a surprise for him. When Shuji arrived you couldn’t wait to give him your gift. You gave him an earring that matched yours. When Shuji opened it he couldn't help but smile a genuine smile, something that only happens around you. He felt tears prick the corner of his eyes but he held them back. He never thought he would be loved so much by anyone.

….

It’s been years since that day and Shuji still finds himself wearing that same earring even long after you two have broken up. He refuses to take it off, fearing whatever memories he had left of you would disappear. He remembers what it was like to be loved by you so clearly, he never felt that from another person, you were the only one. Shuji often wondered what you were up to now. Were you married to someone and did you have kids? Did you think of him as much as he thought of you? Did you even think about him at all? Do you miss him like he misses you? He decided instead of wallowing in self pity to take a walk to clear his mind. The sun was out and there was a warm breeze. “It’s just like the first time we met” , he thought to himself. He was so caught up in his thoughts of you that he didn’t realize until it was too late that he wandered to the park where you two first met.

He looked over to the picnic table where you had your first conversation. His body went rigid and cold. He saw you sitting there, but you weren’t alone, there was someone else with you. He noticed how your hands were intertwined across the table. Your smile is still the same smile you gave him, all those years ago, only now it was directed towards someone else.

Shuji was just barely able to make out that you were wearing the earring that matches his that you gave to him all those years ago. He smiled at this, and he knows you haven't forgotten about him like he thought. His heart swelled with happiness and he fell in love with you all over again. The relationship between you two must have meant as much to you as it did to him.

That day he decided he would do everything in his power to get you back. He refused to let you slip away a second time. He turned on his heel and headed back to his apartment, where he was going to start planning on how to get you to love him once again.

#nire.writes #tw.angst #shuji hanma x reader #hanma x reader #hanma angst #hanma imagine #hanma x y/n #tokyo revengers imagine #tokrev #hanma shuji #tokyo revengers hanma #hanma scenario #tokyo revengers #shuji hanma imagine #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader #angst fic

[oh-katsuki]

Little Death (Nanami x Reader)

masterlist | ao3

Pairing: Nanami x Reader

Summary: Two years into university, you left Jujutsu Sorcery unexplainably, leaving Nanami at a loss for where you went. Now, seven years later, you’ve returned because Sukuna’s vessel has been found and change the course of Nanami’s life. 

“You’re untethered, unbothered, and entirely unpredictable. You’re fickle as the wind and your impermanence serves as a constant reminder to Nanami that your worlds are separate. You’re ephemeral while he is enduring, fleeting while he is permanent. Nanami suspects that you’ll leave when the season changes. When the orange leaves drop from the trees and are swept from the streets by the breeze you follow.”

Content Warnings: JUJUTSU KAISEN MANGA SPOILERS, shibuya arc spoilers, angst, hurt/no comfort, some fluff, nanami loves you, major character death, rumination, regret 

Word Count: 7.6k

A/N: I didn’t think I was going to write this but I decided that I wanted to hurt my own feelings. Thank you to @princesatoru​ for beta reading this beaut <33 

Also, I’ve never done this before but this fic is for the person / people who bought me half of my wishlist the other day. If you see this, thank you so fucking much. I’m so incredibly grateful and I hope you enjoy reading this. Thank you <3

Nanami Kento has always wondered why you choose to be friends with someone like Gojo Satoru. He couldn’t wrap his head around it in high school and he can’t wrap his head around it now. You’re better than him, than Gojo, always have been. But instead, you waste your time with him, with someone so powerful that he’d never need you in the first place. 

He’s never been the jealous type or the envious type. It’s never poisoned his veins the way it does so many other people because Nanami Kento doesn’t particularly care about anything too much. If he’s home by 5:30, he’s content. He supposes that you’re friends with Gojo because of how similar your personalities are. You both have similar scheming smirks and a knack for getting yourselves into problems that you somehow manage to fix yourselves. That’s how it was in high school, so Nanami shouldn’t be surprised to find that that’s how it is now. 

There’s something odd about seeing you again after so many years, especially when you’ve chosen a path much like he tried to except in a far less conventional way. But here you are in front of him, standing beside an endlessly irritating demon with white hair and giving him a signature closed-eye smile. 

“Long time, no see, Kento.” You chime, leaning forward to smile wider at him through the casual use of his first name. 

Nanami says your name, looking down at you through the tinted glasses he wears. You look the same but older. Nearing 30, smile lines are starting to creep up on your face, wrinkles by the side of your eyes. They’re hardly visible, but Nanami can tell that they mean in the years you’ve been gone, you’ve smiled a lot. 

“Nice shades.” You laugh and Gojo elbows you. It chimes like bells. 

“Don’t lie to him. You’re so cruel, _____.” Gojo’s wearing a blindfold, hands shoved into his pockets and his weight shifted backward. 

“Thank you.” Nanami responds, glossing over the insult and giving a glance between the two of you. Again, he wonders why you waste your time with him. “What brings you back?” 

You’ve never had an innate cursed technique or particularly strong cursed energy. In fact, Nanami would describe it as incredibly weak. You were enrolled in Jujutsu High only because you could see curses, though your ability hardly allows you to handle any at all. Maybe that’s why you opted to not work as a sorcerer. Maybe that’s why you jumped ship and ran for the hills nearly 7 years ago. 

“Work!” You give him a sly smile, one he recognizes from high school. Nanami only cocks a brow.

Gojo chimes in next, tilting his head side to side. “I needed her help with something. Y’know, being so busy and all. She’s a glorified assistant basically.” 

“You’re such a rotten liar, Satoru.” 

“I’m not really lying though. It’s not like you could fight anything.” 

“Yeah, well at least I don’t have to risk my life constantly like you unlucky lot.” You cross your arms over your chest. “I’m free.” 

“I’m free too.” Gojo says, cocking his chin up. “It’s stick-up-his-ass here who’s not.” 

“That’s Mr. Stick-up-his-ass.” 

Then you gape at him, jaw practically on the floor. “I didn’t know you make jokes, Kento.” You slap his shoulder and laugh, weight shifting a bit when Nanami doesn’t budge. 

Nanami feels like his heart is swimming. It’s so strange seeing you here in Tokyo in the same uniform the teachers and students wear. It sends a wave of nostalgia through him. He can gather that you’ve come to work with the kids and he can only pity the students who have to deal with you, though knowing them, it will probably be a treat. (You’ve always been rather likable, even when you were 16.) 

He’s never dwelled on the past much, but in the first days you’re here he finds himself dwelling on it often. On your somewhat undefined high school relationship. 

You made it your goal to bother him in high school, to become his friend despite the gap in your abilities. You bothered him endlessly, knocking on his dorm room door at ungodly hours and dragging him out and around the campus grounds lit only by moonlight. He was like the nerd you decided to adopt and soon enough, he became the nerd that you and Gojo decided to adopt. 

Nanami thought he wouldn’t like you then, the same way he felt about Gojo. He was ever the bookworm, content with his routine life and longing for the semblances of normalcy allowed to him at such a school as Jujutsu High, but you were hungry. Always hungry for something more. Adventure, to see the world, to see the faces people make. It would have been inspiring back then had those hunger pains not awoken in the twinkling hours of the morning when all Nanami wanted to do was sleep after a long day of classes. His eccentric upperclassman, one he could never figure out. 

He thought you’d always be by Gojo’s side, given the way you both were attached at the hip. Normally, Gojo stuck with those who could come as close as possible to matching him—hard to do when he’s practically a god—but you were different. Nanami noticed that Gojo took a shine to you early on. Your personalities were similar, still are, and despite the power gap, Gojo brought you along everywhere. Nanami thinks that if Gojo were inclined to relationships, he’d have dated you. But Gojo isn’t that person and apparently, neither are you because two years into college, you dropped off the face of the earth. 

Nanami never knew where you went or what happened and for a long time, he wondered if you were okay. It wasn’t until after college, when he quit Jujutsu, that he realized that maybe you jumped ship as well. Maybe you decided that normal was what you wanted, like how it's what he thought he wanted. 

But here you are again. Three days after your return and walking around like you haven’t been gone for nearly 7 years. It’s something Gojo would do and even now he sees the unignorable irresponsibility of it. 

Nanami is on Jujutsu High grounds a lot more often than he usually is lately. With Sukuna’s vessel being here, he finds himself on campus regularly, which means you have become a regular part of his routine for the week. A quick “good morning” nod and a short conversation in which you give him a glittering smile that tells him you know more than he does. 

While it’s strange to have you back, there is also a strange relief in seeing you living life. There’s something comforting in knowing you’re here, most likely living in an apartment close to the school, and protected by the sanctity of jujutsu barriers when you work. 

When friends disappear, no matter how much of a nuisance they are, people worry. Nanami is no different. Contrary to popular belief, he is still human with human emotions and desires. One of those desires just so happens to be your well-being. The well-being of his weak, flakey, inconceivable upperclassman. And that means that with your presence, there is the anxiety that you will vanish again. As a result, Nanami tries to not get too attached. 

He limits his contact with you, dead-set on his everyday life. Until you show up one night at 11 pm at his apartment door and suddenly Nanami remembers that with you, there is no wall that cannot be broken down or jumped over. 

“Hi.” You smile as if you haven’t just intruded on his nightly routine. 

Nanami is in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He knows it must be odd to see him dressed like this. “Hello. Is everything okay?” 

You laugh and roll your eyes, pushing your way into his apartment and removing your shoes. “Everything’s fine. I just thought we could throw it back to high school tonight.” 

“Hm. Do you often show up to people’s homes unannounced?” You just give him a cheeky grin and Nanami checks around the door momentarily before asking his next question. “And do you have the blue-eyed cretin with you?” Nanami shuts the door to his apartment once you step inside, glancing over his shoulder. If Gojo wants to get in, he won’t be using the front door, let the creep warp. 

“Satoru?” You chuckle, crossing your arms. “Nah, he’s out tonight.” 

Nanami nods, padding over to the living room and sitting on the couch. The room is still dark, illuminated only by the light of the city flowing in through the window. It’s strange to have you in his adult home, both of you grown now and with leagues of life experience between you. 

“Hey, Kento,” You sigh, running your hand over the things on his kitchen counter before leaning against it. “Remember when I used to climb into the window of your dorm room and get you to come sit out by the shrine with me?” 

“How could I forget? I lost so many hours of sleep over that.” Nanami resists the smile on his face. He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t want to make a habit of whatever this is. 

“Gosh, not that many.” You laugh, walking over to him and narrowing your eyes. “Bet you were just about to go to bed, huh?” 

He’s amazed at how quickly you jump topics, closing whatever emotional distance he’s struggling to put up between you. “You’d be correct.” Nanami sighs, glancing at you. 

He’d almost forgotten how pretty you are. Sure, everyone knows you’re attractive, but there’s something about the way you look in his apartment, bathed only in moonlight and the fluorescent lights of shops about to close for the evening. It hits the curve of your cheeks beautifully, sloping across your forehead, nose, and dancing across your lips. They look soft. 

“You’re like an old man now. Where’s your spunky, youngster spirit?” You laugh and sit down beside him, far enough away that you’re out of his reach, and despite only being a year older than him, you speak to him like you’re far wiser. “Ah, though I suppose you always did like routines. Sorry for ruining this one.” 

You rub at the back of your neck and Nanami finds your embarrassment endearing. He won’t ask you to leave. 

“Don’t worry.” Nanami says. “Though I do wonder, why come back now of all times?” 

You pause before tilting your head. “Does it matter?” 

“I think so.” 

“You think everything matters.” 

“Does it not?” 

You inhale. “Not really. I came back because Satoru said he needed help and because I wanted to. Isn’t that enough?” 

Nanami shrugs. “I can’t imagine doing things on a whim like that.” 

“Imagine harder then.” You laugh, tucking your feet under you on the couch. “No but seriously, I’m back because of Sukuna’s vessel. It’s an important time. We need all hands on deck. Even if those hands could hardly be considered hands at all.” 

Nanami would expect you to sound sad saying that. No one wants to admit their own weakness, but instead, you’re smiling and the joy in your voice is sincere. It’s almost child-like. 

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short like that.” He chastizes, even though he knows you don’t need it. 

“Oh relax, I came to terms with my own weakness the moment I met Gojo Satoru.” You pause for a second, leaning back. “And you.”

“Me?”

“Mhm, you.” You chuckle. “I mean, come on, you’ve always been strong. Cool fuckin’ technique too. All I get is the ability to see those stinky old curses.” 

Nanami shakes his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Kento.” You poke him with your finger and he finds himself bewildered at your admittance. 

“What’s not to understand?”

 “You stay cooped up playing nine to five all day.” You shrug. “I don’t understand it.” 

“Well, it’s better than disappearing.” He retorts. There’s a smile ghosting on his lips. 

“I didn’t disappear.” You huff. “I saw some of the world.” 

“Did you?” 

“Mhm. When I left Jujutsu Sorcery, I went to Nepal, America, Europe. It was hard though, to pretend that curses didn’t exist when I know they do. Made me feel small, like I wasn’t doing enough.” You stare off into space for a moment. 

Nanami knows the feeling all too well. The feeling of trying to ignore that innate part of him, the one that can see and fix the problem of curses. He’s glad you have something in common, even if it’s small. 

“Well, at least it’s more than you can say. All you did was go get a boring desk job.” You stick your tongue out. 

“It paid well.” That’s all he can really offer because he knows you’re right. Nanami is content with his choices, but that doesn’t mean he’s not curious about other people’s. 

You stay for a little while longer, asking him about his life, commenting on the almost sterile feel of the apartment he considers homey. It’s odd, the way you so easily sink back into something like normalcy with him and he thinks for a moment (against his better judgment) that you might fit nicely here.

“Well, I should head out.” You say rather suddenly, standing up off the couch with a slap of your thighs. 

You glance to the digital clock in the kitchen, visible from the neat and tidy living room. Nanami’s gaze follows and the numbers read 1:23 am. “It’s late. You can stay on the couch if you’d like.” 

“Nah, I think I’ll enjoy the walk home. Thanks though.” You smile and start to step towards the door, slipping on your sneakers in a way that makes Nanami cringe. 

“Wait, one more thing.” He says before he can stop himself. “Why did you leave in the first place?” 

You give him a cheshire-like grin over your shoulder and shrug. “Got distracted.” Then you’re leaving out of his front door. 

The statement is so irresponsible that Nanami is grinding his teeth. 

Remember when Nanami said he didn’t want to make a habit of this? Yeah, well, your visits become regular and frequent, much to Nanami’s chagrin. He’d like to say that he finds it irritating, that the intrusion is unwelcome, but the more you show up, the more he finds that he’s falling back into that pattern of trailing at your heels like he did in high school. You were never as strong as him, but you always had Nanami following you. 

He finds out that you go from job to job in whatever country or city you’re living in and that before you moved back to Tokyo, you lived in Portugal running grocery deliveries. Nanami finds out that you’ve nearly gotten married not once, but twice, both on a whim. And he finds that you’re indubitably the most irresponsible person he’s ever met. 

You’re frivolous with your money, which is always running low, and you laugh off paying your rent late as if you’re living in some sitcom where everything is fine after each episode. Nanami finds that you get along well with Yuji, as expected, and that Nobara has become your favorite “student”. You like her spunkiness, as you put it. You’re not their teacher, nor are you qualified to teach, but you let them call you Sensei anyway and Nanami thinks that that is so stupid it makes him want to punch a wall. 

Finally, Nanami Kento finds out that he is far more idiotic than he ever thought and that it is entirely your fault. He’s started going out when you call him, drinking with you and Gojo until the early morning hours before he walks you back to your apartment in an all too concerning area. You’ll have long chats on those walks, about life, about why you do what you do, but never broaching the subject of your own irresponsibility. 

And when you come over to his apartment, his pristine, adult-like apartment, you never stay the night. Nanami tells himself that it’s nothing sexual, that he’s not attracted to you, and that the way he tracks your figure through the dark hall of his home does not belong to a small beast inside of him that wants to fuck your lights out. What a crude thought, he never would have thought that a month ago before you arrived. 

Still, it’s nice having you in his life. This temporary springtime he’s experiencing is because of you and he’s grateful for it. You grow close because of that. Nanami Kento and his summer—fall, really—demon. The enigma of his adolescence now sat together in his living room every evening.  

“Alright!” You say, standing up off his couch. He watches with a raised eyebrow as you pump your arms into the air. “Let’s go!” 

“Go… where?” He questions, still sitting on the couch. 

“Do you have to know?” You pout slightly. “Is it not enough to just go with me?” 

“I’d like to know.” 

You huff, taking his big hand in both of yours and pulling at him to get off the couch. Your hands are soft and the touch takes Nanami by surprise. They look small compared to his. Nanami has always had big hands, but they look bigger now cradled in your smaller ones. 

Nanami stands, unable to say no to you, to the way you make even the most stagnant of rooms alive again. 

“That’s the spirit, Kento! Grab your coat!” You cheer triumphantly before marching towards his front door. You grow a little quieter. “You’re gonna like it. I promise.” 

Nanami gives you a small laugh, wordlessly putting on his shoes and sliding on his coat. He expects you to take him downstairs to the lobby, but instead, you turn towards the stairwell where you begin to walk up the flight of stairs. You’re taking him to the roof. It’s funny that you assume he’s never been up there, though you’d be right in the assumption. But still, it means you have him figured out and something about that brings a warm feeling to his chest. 

When you arrive at the roof, you open the door somewhat quietly, and the wind immediately whips against your cheeks. It’s getting colder out. The beginning of October has a slight chill setting in and Nanami wonders why he can’t feel it in his bones the way he usually does. Instead, the blooming heat in his chest warms him. 

You walk over to the edge of the roof, standing as your toes hit the side of the building and Nanami feels his heart jump into his chest. 

“Be careful!” He says it out of habit and you just look over your shoulder and laugh at him, motioning with one hand. 

“Relax, come look.” 

Nanami has never been up here at night. The thought never crossed his mind. His apartment building is tall, full of working-class people going to and from work, so the roof sees little activity. But it’s beautiful up here. Nanami can see the Tokyo skyline with perfect clarity, skyscrapers glittering in the night. It’s peaceful from up here and he finds his breath stolen from his lungs when he first registers it. He’s 28 years old and he’s never felt quite at a loss for words like this. 28 years old and only seen this small corner of his small world. 

You sit down on the ledge, feet dangling off. Below you, about 10 feet down, is another platform and when Nanami sits in the same manner, he’s grateful for its presence. 

“What makes you think I’ve never been out on my roof before?” Nanami asks, voice flat. 

“I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t have thought to do it.” You shrug and smile, nudging his shoulder. “Pretty, isn’t it?” 

He chuckles through his nose. “Yeah, it is.” 

“Not the only pretty thing about the world.” You sigh contentedly, leaning back on your hands. 

Nanami finds himself agreeing, but for another reason entirely. The city lights on your face look angelic right now and the smile ghosting on your lips is enough to send a confusing rupture of butterflies through his stomach. “No, it’s not.” 

There’s a long bout of silence for a while where you both just enjoy the breeze. It’s nice, being here, doing this, and Nanami inhales deeply before looking at you, the smell of the city from so high up hitting his nose. He’s never been one for childish things, never the type of person to go to parties or skip classes, and certainly not the type to sit on the edge of roofs. But here you both are, sitting on a ledge above Tokyo and drinking in the night air like wine. He can’t stop himself before he poses the heavy question. “Why don’t you settle down? Get a stable job and live a stable life.” 

You look at him, shrugging your shoulders and smiling lightly. “Never thought of it.” It’s a lie, but a good one. You settle back on your haunches and tilt your head towards the sky. 

“What is it exactly that you want to do? You can’t live like this forever.” Nanami says, gaze returning over the city.

“I dunno.” You inhale, taking in the night air and the cool breeze. It’s a perfect night. “I wish I could stop getting distracted all the time.” 

You don’t look like you mean it. Your expression reads as happy, as perfectly at peace with where you are, and the statement comes across as more of a wispy breath of what could have been than something needed. 

“Then why don’t you?” Nanami asks genuinely, voice gentle. For him, it’s easy. Discipline has never been something that the blonde man lacked.

He knows he’s chastising you, that he sounds like a stick in the mud. It’s ironic, that he’s telling you your way of life isn’t sustainable, meanwhile, he faces life and death on a regular basis. You should yell at him for it. He has no right to tell you something so hypocritical. But you just laugh, closing your eyes and letting that brilliant smile spread across your face like you think he’s funny. 

Nanami watches as you pause slightly, admiring the feel of the wind on your face from this high up. And then you turn to him, a content smile on your face. “Because I have so much to say and the world has so much to offer.” 

You look so happy saying it, so sure of yourself, and if Nanami wasn’t sure before, he’s sure now that he’s in love with you. He probably always has been, but Nanami Kento is bad with emotions and better with routine and you are the farthest thing from routine. 

You’re untethered, unbothered, and entirely unpredictable. You’re fickle as the wind and your impermanence serves as a constant reminder to Nanami that your worlds are separate. You’re ephemeral while he is enduring, fleeting while he is permanent. Nanami suspects that you’ll leave when the season changes. When the orange leaves drop from the trees and are swept from the streets by the breeze you follow. 

Nanami has always been rooted to the ground, feet planted on the floor. It’s truly ironic that he’d fall in love with someone whose feet have never been on the ground. Still, in his ever-sturdy heart, there is desire that matches yours. It grows stronger every moment he’s with you, every moment he can feel your passion for adventure, Nanami’s longing grows. It’s true that he’s only seen his small corner of the world and he’s content with it. He’s always been happy enough with good enough. It’s only in these few months you’ve been back that he’s considered that there might be more, even if he’s not ready to confront it. 

Nanami has never been a jealous person, but on the rooftop of his apartment building, he finds himself jealous for the first time. Jealous of Gojo of all people, who—if he so desired—could follow you. Whose personality allowed him to match your wide stride. 

“Kento?” You look to him, tilting your head with an eyebrow raised. “Have you?” 

“Sorry, what was the question?” 

You laugh, kicking your feet out. “I asked if you’d ever thought about traveling. Y’know, stepping out and seeing the world?” 

Nanami shakes his head, a bit dazed as he looks at you. “No. Not particularly.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

“You’re no fun.” You pout your lips, crossing your arms over your chest. Nanami finds that the sentence bothers him more than it should but he keeps quiet, instead turning out to face the expanse of the city. 

It’s quiet for a little while longer, only the breeze whizzing by his ears as you both soak in the evening. As you sit, Nanami is growing accustomed to the fact that he loves you. That he loves your impermanence and the way you make him a little less permanent with each meeting. That he loves the way you talk, the way you smile, the bounce in your walk or lack thereof when you’re tired. The alarming thought crosses his mind that this probably means he likes Gojo as well in some capacity, but that’s a thought for another day. He always did think you were better than him anyhow. 

“Brr. It’s cold.” You move to stand. “Let’s go inside, make some hot chocolate.” 

Nanami, in that moment, wants to take a page out of your book. He wants to kiss you, your lips that look so pretty at night. But he doesn’t change easily. Nanami does things right, that won’t go away overnight whether or not he loves you. 

He doesn’t kiss you. Nanami only wordlessly follows as you slowly make your way back inside. He tracks your steps, the way your hips sway slightly as you walk back to the front door of his apartment. Nanami is still thinking about what you said, about getting distracted, about the wideness of the world he hasn’t seen yet. 

Humans long for attachment. They want to be a part of the world around them, connect with people and form bonds. They are the most social creature. You are social, but Nanami wonders how you can be alone so often, how you deal with loneliness because, despite your content-ness, he can feel it. The loneliness that comes with moving around, with never being stagnant, pouring out through your skin in the fleeting moments he gets to touch you. Do you want those connections too? Do you want it with him? Would you stay if he asked? 

You make him hot chocolate, knowing his kitchen well now from the rummaging you do late at night. You melt it yourself from a chocolate bar because Nanami doesn’t buy hot chocolate packets and you make yours sweeter than his. He’s always preferred bitterness to saccharine sweet. 

Then you sit on the couch with him and sip it quietly as the news drones on in the background and Nanami wonders where you will be in a month. Will you still be here in Tokyo, sitting in his apartment? Or will you have followed your whims to the next place? 

It makes him sad and suddenly Nanami is grateful for the warmth of the drink in his hand. 

—

Things get busier after that night. Nanami is usually off dealing with curses while you remain on campus, managing something for Gojo. You don’t show up to his apartment often anymore but he’s grateful when he gets to see you in passing, when you slap his shoulder and ask if he’s been up on the roof since that night and the small shrug he gives as an answer. 

Curse activity has been fishy and dealing with a mole within the school is never an easy thing to do. He supposes that’s what you’re up to while he works off on his own, dealing with his own issues and missions assigned to him. 

Everyone is on edge, including you. It’s odd because Nanami has never seen you so nervous, never seen you when you’re glancing over your shoulder or when your eyebrows are pulled up in genuine worry. The only person not worrying, as expected, is Gojo. Maybe that’s why you’re not coming around anymore. Nanami is worried that soon you’ll stop showing up to the school altogether. 

Life has never been a guarantee for Jujutsu Sorcerers. For Nanami, when he goes on dangerous missions, he is never guaranteed another day. Maybe that’s why, when you call him out on the evening of Halloween, he goes.

It’s before dark by the time he meets you and he can feel his shoulders slump with relief when he meets your eyes. Warmth blooms through his chest again as you walk up to him with your arms behind your back. 

“Like my costume, Kento?” You raise an eyebrow and Nanami takes a moment to take in what you’re wearing. 

He sees nothing special about it. You’re wearing the clothes you usually wear, flattering on your body shape. 

“Are you supposed to be something?” He asks, voice flat. 

“Yeah! I’m dressed up as ‘Nanami Kento’s best friend’ this year.” You give him a cheeky smile and Nanami’s cheeks flush red. He attempts to hide it by adjusting the glasses on his face. 

“I was under the impression Gojo was your best friend.” 

“Nah,” you grow quiet for a minute, beginning to walk as you scuff your feet on the floor. “I can’t talk to him like I can talk to you. He’s a bit too fickle.” 

“Fickle?” Nanami tilts his head down towards you. “Ironic coming from the woman who can’t stay in one place.” 

You laugh, nudging him with your shoulder. The casual touch sends him reeling. “Hey, that’s a low blow, Nanamin.” 

“Oh god, you’re taking after Yuji.” 

“What? It’s a cute nickname. Suits you.” You smile again. 

Nanami doesn’t respond, instead continuing to walk. “Why did you call?” 

You bounce in your step slightly. “I just wanted to see you. Been busy lately and haven’t had the chance to disrupt your evening routine.” 

Nanami’s chest hums at your admission and he mumbles an affirmation under his breath. He’s never been good at navigating these types of things. Nanami is usually very forward. He is normally the one to initiate a date or confess his feelings because he’s all too familiar with life’s cruelties. But it’s different with you. 

As the evening progresses, Nanami finds that taking that step past friendship is hard. He cannot bring himself to ask if he can take you on a date or to tell you exactly how he feels. That it’s more than friendship and that it most likely always has been. 

Nanami doesn’t want to be in love with you. It frightens him, the uncertainty of you, the enigma that is your existence to him. He longs for normalcy, for routine, and watching you sit across from him in this restaurant reminds him that this moment, like you, is fleeting. It will be gone soon. You will laugh and he will smile and then, eventually, you’ll vanish. 

He walks you home again and your walk is lit by the red-orange glow of sunset. The light burns what it touches, temperature cooling after your short outing. The two of you wind your way through the streets, opting for the long way home, until eventually the red glow of sunset is cast out by the shadows of the buildings in your neighborhood. Medium-sized buildings protrude with small balconies stained by rainwater. White popcorn walls tinged yellow with age and small side streets. It suits you, this quaint neighborhood a little ways away from small family-owned shops. You fit into the scenery here, livening it up. 

Your neighbors greet you as you pass them and Nanami watches the way you remember even the smallest details about their lives. He’s reminded again of just how over his head you are, the leagues of distance between you both.

You pause when you reach the entrance to your building, looking down at the floor. It’s a single small door framed in thick wood with chipping paint. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Do you mind coming up?”

Nanami had expected to simply return home and he pauses at this too, turning to you. Are you being forward right now? Is this a proposition? His thoughts must show on his face because you burst out into a laugh. 

“Nothing like that, Kento! I promise!” And Nanami is disappointed.

Nanami nods, letting you lead the way through a small staircase with apartments on either side of the stairwell. Your footsteps echo softly against the concrete as you march up to the third floor. 

You warn him of the mess as you unlock the door, glancing behind you with a nervous smile. 

Nanami has never been inside of your apartment and when he steps inside, he’s shocked to find it piled with boxes. You haven’t unpacked save for some small plants and dishes stacked neatly in a drying rack.

The apartment is small, two rooms in total, a bathroom and a combined bedroom and kitchen. He expected it to be somewhat messy, but he wouldn’t call this messy, he’d call it temporary. Thinking about it now, he should have expected that you wouldn’t have unpacked. It’s very like you to remain ready to leave. 

It smells like an old apartment building and your shampoo. A warm and fresh floral smell mixed with the scent of an old building, of aged wood. The floorboards creak under Nanami’s feet when he walks in and slips off his shoes, stepping past the entrance and into the place where you find rest. Where that little death of sleep has taken you many times. 

“You haven’t unpacked.” It’s the first thing Nanami says. 

“Yeah.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Is there a reason?” He knows the answer but he asks anyway. 

It’s confirmed when you tilt your head down at him and give him a small smile. “I never planned to stay long anyway. That’s actually what I wanted to tell you.” 

“When?” 

“Two days from now probably.” You shuffle your feet along the floor. “Satoru said I should get out of Tokyo, for my safety.”

“I thought he brought you here?” 

“He did. But you know Satoru… he’s worse than me.” You laugh. 

Nanami’s mouth feels dry and you’ve yet to turn on the lamp by your bedside despite the subsiding glow of daylight. He doesn’t want you to leave. Nanami wants to see your apartment unpacked and made a home. He wants to see the plants you grow on your balcony flourish in the little hours of sunlight you get here. He wants to be able to come whenever, to bring you meals, to take you out. Nanami wants to make a life with you.  

“I see.” He says in response, tongue-tied. 

You don’t say anything, instead looking at him like you’re disappointed. Did you want him to say something else? The air is charged with something, sadness, tension, overwhelming uncertainty. Nanami feels it weigh on his chest. 

“Stay.” Nanami inhales. “Stay here.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I don’t want you to leave again.” 

You take a deep breath, studying his face. “But I want to go.” 

Nanami looks at you, eyes wide. He doesn’t want to lose you but this is a part of you he loves. Your freedom, your willingness to change. He thinks that if you had more cursed energy, these qualities would have made you an incredible sorcerer. But he’s selfish. Nanami is too selfish to let you go and be where you’re meant to be. So he asks again. 

“I’ll take care of you. I’ll make it worth it.” Desperation creeps into his composed facade. Nanami is cracking because he cannot make up his mind. “Don’t you want a real life?” 

“This is my life. I’m happy with it, Kento.” You’re not angry. In fact, it seems you’re just as hurt as him, your eyebrows pulling up despite your smile. 

“Be happy with me then. In Tokyo.” 

“I couldn’t be happy in one place.” You smile at him. “I think you know that.” 

Nanami nods, defeated. You’re right. You’re right and he loves you for it. Nanami loves you for this part of you. Your certainty, your composure, your willingness to make and break ties as he has never been able to. You share a connection with the world because you don’t have a connection to any one place. You’ve managed to somehow find the balance between freedom and loneliness, despite the fact that Nanami always thought they were the same thing. 

Then, Nanami’s phone rings and the tension is broken. You fall back onto the bed, humming as if you haven’t just promised him that you’ll vanish and he answers as composed as ever despite loving you the way he does. 

Ijichi is on the line and he asks hurriedly where Nanami is. He tells Nanami that there is currently a series of curtains over Shibuya station. That he’s sent a car to bring him to Exit 13 where he’ll find him and Megumi. 

You sit up on the bed, eyebrows furrowed as you listen to Nanami speak and he watches you as he talks into the receiver, voice clear as day. The conversation is short and concise, just how Nanami prefers things and when he hangs up he immediately puts his phone in his pocket. You stand, rushing across the room to him. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“No. Something is happening in Shibuya.” Nanami responds, adjusting his jacket. “They’ve called in everyone they can. Gojo included.” 

You still. Nanami knows that calling in Gojo as a necessity means something is very wrong, that this might be more than anyone can handle. Your eyes search his. 

“Stay at home tonight. We can’t communicate with any sorcerers within the curtains so we don’t know what’s happening.” Nanami looks at you, expression serious. “I need you to be safe, okay?” 

“W-wait! Wait!” You grab his lapel as he starts to turn on his heels. He can feel the way your fingers tremble as you pull him to face you, stepping close to him. “Come with me. Out of Tokyo. You don’t have to go. That’s what I wanted to ask you. I’m going to leave but I want you to come.” 

Nanami looks at you, hands coming up to cup yours. “You know I can’t do that.” 

“We could have a life. You could see the world with me, away from jujutsu sorcery. You could live safely.” You’re pleading with him. 

“I have a responsibility.” But Nanami is doubting himself.

“Fuck your responsibilities. We could leave tonight.” 

Nanami brings his hand to the back of your head and pulls you into an embrace. He holds you there while you tremble and he finds that this feels so right that it hurts. “I’ll come back to you, okay?” 

“You don’t know that. None of you know that.” You stutter and there’s fear in your voice. “You can’t hide it from me. I’ve seen it before. There’s no guarantee.” 

It clicks for Nanami that this is why you left. This is why you won’t stay in one place, why your attachments are deep but short. Because you’ve learned that tomorrow is not promised and have been powerless to stop it. In your desperation, in your plead for him to go with you, you’ve laid your cards out on the table, but Nanami cannot find it in himself to lay out his. He cannot break whatever fragile peace you both have found, mission or not.

Nanami inhales deeply and he feels your head rise with his chest. “Let me give you my answer after the mission.”  

He can’t choose now. He has something to do, a difference to make. Nanami is a man of his word, of his responsibilities, and it breaks his heart to let go of you in exchange for getting in the black car waiting for him downstairs. It breaks his heart to see your expression as he slides into the seat, standing by the door of your apartment, grabbing onto it tightly as if you’re about to sprint after him. 

—

Shibuya station is a waking nightmare. It’s in chaos and when he enters the curtain, he loses contact with everyone. Nanami doesn’t know about what’s happening inside or the status of anyone outside. All he knows is that they’re calling for Gojo Satoru, that this is bigger than what they expected, that there are civilian lives at stake. 

It doesn’t take long for Nanami to realize that his life is also very much at stake. That this mission is larger than himself, that he is being asked to lay down his life once again. 

Nanami has exorcized scores of curses. As a grade 1 sorcerer who has had time to hone his craft, he is confident in his abilities. Doubt is only cast over that when you are in the picture. When he is fighting to get back to someone else, for someone else. 

Mahito is an entity unto himself. A special grade cursed spirit who he came into contact with in the early days of his existence. Nanami is not prepared for his growth. For the way Mahito seems to have compensated for his weaknesses and some in Shibuya station. 

He is exhausted. His body is screaming for him to stop, to rest, to find peace. Nanami fights through hoards of transfigured humans. Humans. Not curses but people whose lives were stolen from them by Mahito and driven into the ground by him. Nanami’s feet drag along the floor, the left side of his body is broken and he suspects his eye is missing, though he can’t feel it. 

His muscles ache as he slices through another hoard of them, chest heavy from the loss, from the exhaustion setting deep in his bones. Is he going to die? Is this it? 

There is a hand on his chest and in his delusional, fatigued state, he wants to believe that it’s you. Instead, he raises his gaze to meet Mahito’s. 

“Wanna chat? We go way back after all.” No. Nanami wants to see you. He knows now.

Nanami wants to go with you to Malaysia. He wants to see the beach, read the books he never got to in your unpacked home together. He wants you to come home to him. Nanami wants to see the world with you. Nanami wants to follow you. 

He can hear Itadori call his name. It’s a shame he has to see this. Nanami knows that it will haunt him, that he is going to die and Itadori will watch, helpless to it. Mahito has already touched him, his cursed technique is already activated. Idle Transformation is far idler than Nanami expected because right now, things are moving in slow motion. 

“Itadori…” Nanami is glad that you’re safe. 

What can he say? What will Nanami’s last words be? How can he mitigate this damage?

“You’ve got it from here.” 

Nanami has so many questions. Will Itadori tell you? Does he understand what he means? What comes next? Will he see you again in another life? Is there a god? No, there is no god. There is only freedom. 

Freedom is not loneliness. Freedom is not irresponsibility. Freedom is loving you. Freedom is choosing to wait before losing his chance to decide. Choosing to love you and losing himself. 

It’s ironic that he’s only just realized that he will follow you anywhere in the only moment he can’t. In a moment where the only choice to mitigate damage and accept his unavoidable demise. Nanami remembers his promise to come back, to tell you after the mission. He knows now that there will be no after. Tomorrow is not promised and you learned that earlier than he did. You jumped ship while you could and Nanami has been left to sink. 

The French call an orgasm the Little Death. That moment of exhaustion after when you close your eyes and sleep finds you. Nanami thinks he read that in a book once, not that he’s ever had time to read. Maybe when he was working and living normally, when tomorrow was promised. He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about it now. What a crude thought, he never would have thought that before you got here. Nanami thinks that the Little Death is preferable to this one. The real thing. 

He has to laugh. Mahito’s palm is so heavy on his chest and his limbs are so tired. Everything moves slower.

Nanami thinks about that Little Death. About how he’ll never get to see your figure covered by thin white sheets. About how he’ll never get to tell you that his answer is yes. That he’ll follow you anywhere. That he wants to go to Malaysia. That he wants to finish the books he never got around to picking up and he wants to do it with you. 

It’s ironic that he should die in a station, unable to take the train and leave with you. 

Nanami is 28 years old and will never see more than this small corner of his small world. Nanami is 28 years old, on death's doorstep, laughing at the cruelty of his situation, at the strangely content feeling in his chest. He will die knowing he loves you. He will die knowing that if he could, he’d go wherever you take him. 

He’s looking at Itadori, still smiling. Mahito’s cursed energy swells and as he finishes his sentence, all he can think of is you. You. You. You. Someone give him a second chance. Nanami would do it differently, all of it. 

He’s sorry he didn’t tell you. He’s sorry he didn’t say y-

—

“Come with me.” 

“Okay.”

#nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #jjk x reader #tw.death #jujutsu kaisen manga spoilers #shibuya arc spoilers #shibuya incident spoilers #[ 📕 – writing ] #tw.angst #it’s the way every single tag doesn’t work #I’m gonna cry

[meowdarame]

high ft oikawa tooru

cw: toxic behavior (really OOC for oikawa but it’s for the plot); non-explicit smut; I do not condone any of the actions, verbal manipulation, and toxicity in this one-shot.

pairing: oikawa x f!reader (she/her pronouns); 1.3k words

notes: this is my second addition to my 100 followers event, 5 seconds of haikyuu!! and my submission for @bratinc‘s toxic collab! <3 

“Tooru.”

Uh oh, that’s never a good sign. “Tooru”— not “Toto,” not “babe,” not “my love.” Just Tooru. Oikawa gulps as he waits for you to deliver the final blow.

“I think we need to stop seeing each other.”

He sighs in his head. It’s not the first time you’ve tried leaving him; in fact, it seems like it happens every other week. His mind begins to trail off as you continue your monologue, reusing the same argument points that your bitchy friends hammered into your fickle brain about how “terrible” of a boyfriend he is or that you “deserve better.”

Sure, you’ve been spending every other night together for the past year, and sure, he keeps a toothbrush at your apartment and a box of menstrual pads for you at his penthouse. And yes, he’s met your parents but has yet to introduce you to anyone in his life aside from his 3 friends from high school. And maybe, he’s been caught by the paparazzi a few times doing incriminating things— hanging out with models, clubbing with actresses, getting into cars with influencers— but it’s all just a ploy to throw the press off of his, and inevitably your, ass. He knows how harsh the papers can be, and the last thing he wants is for a slew of his fangirls to find your Instagram account and leave hate comments, at least that’s how he reasons it to himself.

All of these “toxic”— your friends’ words, not his— things that he does aren’t done to hurt you, but instead to shield you. He knows that you don’t have thick skin like him and wouldn’t be able to handle the pressures of dating an Olympian athlete— that you’re brittle at the parts where he wishes you were strong.

So he keeps you in secrecy, choosing to only love you in the dark and associating himself with famous women, in order to protect you.

And he just doesn’t understand why you can’t understand that— why you listen to your lying friends who don’t know jack shit about your relationship, why you don’t defend him when they say such vile things about his character, and why you let their insidious words seep into your brain and fester there.

Your tired voice breaks him out of his trance.

“I just can’t keep living like this,” You let out an exasperated  sigh. “I don’t like feeling like you’re embarrassed of me.”

The whole time you speak, Oikawa watches you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the floor, your eyes out of his line of sight. But then you gain enough confidence to lift your head and say your next line.

“I think I deserve better...”

His eyebrows cock upwards at your bold statement— he didn’t intend to have such a readable expression, but he was so taken aback by what you said. Catching onto his shock, you immediately stare back at the ground.

“T-Than that,” You stammer, this time your voice significantly weaker and more uncertain. “I think I deserve better than that kinda treatment.”

The room falls silent except for the sound of crickets chirping outside of your window; Oikawa slowly makes his way over to your couch, heavy steps bouncing off of the wooden floors and reverberating throughout your apartment. His body feels heavy as he sinks into your couch, elbows resting on his knees and his feet pressed flat to the floor.

“You’re right,” He admits, his voice low and quiet. “You do deserve better.”

He runs his fingers through his hair before cupping his face in his palms. The tension in the air is so thick that a knife could slice right through it. He continues, his words muffled by his large hands.

“I told you that I’m gonna change.” Then, he looks up at you, a somber expression painting his face.

“But I don’t think you have enough respect to see me try.”

He watches your eyes become glossy and your bottom lip start to quiver.

“What do you mean?” You croak out, barely comprehensible as tears begin to stream down your face.

Oikawa sits back into his seat, arms crossed as a clear indicator that he’s growing defensive. “The picture that you paint of me looks better in your mind.”

He rubs his forehead in frustration and continues. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to meet your high expectations. I’m just a man after all, and I’m bound to make mistakes. That’s why I’m trying to be better— for you.”

He looks down at the ground before delivering his next line, his voice nothing more than a soft whisper, barely audible, and if you’re not careful you’d easily miss it.

“Because I love you.”

You're silent as your brain tries to grab at straws to come up with a response.  “B-But my friends…”

He immediately cuts you off. “You mean the ones that don’t like me? The ones who talk shit on me and attack my character all the time?” His voice slowly grows in strength as his anger rises to the surface. “Babe, you can’t keep letting them dictate how you feel about me and our relationship. They don’t know jack shit about us, and I don’t like feeling like I’m dating your friends and not you.”

Oikawa raises his face and narrows his eyes at you. “And I don’t like knowing that they’re able to sway you so easily, or much worse that you actually agree with them. I’d hope my girlfriend would at least think of me highly and defend me when she’s with other people.”

His accusations crack all of your defenses. You fall to your knees and grab his hands, running the soft pad of your thumb over his knuckles. He lifts his face and is met with your ever-loving gaze, and it’s clear that you’ve forgiven him and have shouldered the blame for this argument.

“Hey,” You whisper. “Toto, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more patient from now on.”

Toto. That’s the sound he likes to hear. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. He feels you sob and hiccup into his shoulder, and he rubs your back to try to calm you down.

“Shh,” He coos. “It’s okay. I forgive you. It’s okay.”

You pull away and wipe your eyes with the back of your hands. “I’m sorry, I really don’t know what came over me. I guess my friends just got into my head again.”

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, his thumb rubbing circles on your wet cheeks. “Babe, you know they don’t like me and just want you for themselves.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s my fault that I ruined our date night,” You laugh dryly, a sheepish embarrassment flooding your face.

“No need to apologize,” Oikawa assures you. “You just need to be more careful about the company you keep.”

You nod your head in agreement, like you always do. His word is scripture after all.

“Also,” Oikawa begins as he rises from the couch and helps you to your feet. “The night is still young, and I know just the way we can fix it. Let me show you how much I care about you.”

He interlocks his fingers with yours and drags you to your bedroom. He doesn’t really remember much of what happens next— the blur of you both hurriedly stripping yourselves of your clothing, the feeling of your nails running up and down his back, the way you clamp down on him as you both reach your orgasms at the same time, and the warmth that he feels inside as he pulls your tired body close to his.

Nestling your face into his neck, you whisper before drifting off to sleep.

“I love you, Toto.”

He whispers it back and kisses the crown of your head. While closing his eyes, he thinks to himself about how happy you make him— how it almost makes him want to stop fucking around, take your relationship seriously, and spend the rest of his life with you.

Almost.

#toxic collab #🎲.writes #🎲.oneshots #🎲.5soh #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! x reader #oikawa haikyuu #oikawa x reader #haikyuu angst #oikawa angst #tw.toxic #tw.angst

[varietaltiger23]

Head empty just thoughts of draken playing with your hands and tracing them

:sobs:

Must be national get killed with fluff and validation day cause this is it.  This I a heads up that it deals with insecurity and it should be noted that everything flip flops in either being too big or too small.

This contain/talks : insecurity, I will say self hatred as you hate your hands, hurt/comfort, draken is the perfect lover and it shows, almost cried cause of how draken speaks of loving your hands.

‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐

Perfect was the word draken always thought of when you held hands. Even now as he lays with his torso on the bed while he holds one of your hands and pushing his face into the caressing fingers of the other.

He didn't understand the hatred you held for your hands. always hiding them in sleeves, gloves, and sometimes in your pocket.

"Too big and their rough as sandpaper" was your response on a midnight drive.

Maybe they were big but the bigger they are the better, if they were big then you could hold your hand up to his and see how your even together. And so what if thier rough as sandpaper, they can grip things better if they are so rough. Hands so rough and big, he'll never understand as they are perfect for something just as you are perfect for him.

And it almost became a game, asking you everytime you hide your hands.

"They are too thin plus their always cold, why do you want cold fingers to touch you so badly ?"

Why wouldn't he want cold fingers to touch him, those cold fingers battled his natural burning fingers. And too thin, you almost made him laugh. For those thin fingers flow so gracefully as they braid his hair and as they flew to grab items and hand over money. If hands so thin and cold are not to be held then lock him away in the darkest and coldest cell. But even then he'll remember your fingers well in the cold, dark cell.

Draken pushed himself further onto the bed before bring your hands to cup his face. Every line welcoming him. Now why was your face pulled into such a frown.

"My hands are scared and my fingers have nails as sharp as knives. I may hurt you."

Was the whisper answering him, the scars didn't bother him, all they did was help him recognize you without looking to see, those scars helped keep him amoured with you while giving him reasons to trace figures in the deep night. And those nails as sharp as knives, they worked just fine. If he marked you up then why shouldn't you, and they made good defense. Whether you could fight or not, it didn't matter as those knives would protect you better. So mark him up for the world to see, carve your name where his heart lies and run your scared hands over his face so he may always know that his eyes aren't needed to know you are you. For those scars and knives are perfect just for him.

And as draken moves them from his face to trace his name, you try to pull away and just like always he asks why.

"My hands, I hate them so but your loves just seem to grow and grow. I wish I see what you do as I hate my hands but your move out matches my hate."

This time he reaches his hands to your face and does everything you do to him. He loves you for every flaw and you love him for his. Maybe one day his love will replace your hate but for now, yall can just wait.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers draken #draken x reader #draken fluff #tokrev fluff #hurt and comfort #asks🤩 #tw.angst #tw.insecurity

[whore-ibly-hot]

to be more dramatic with Joey and the topic of a reader who doesnt want kids-

if reader was taking birth control to thwart his attempts would he do anything to sabotage it? what if when reader does end up pregnant they're super miserable even after the birth? i'd ask how he'd feel about them secretly getting an abortion but i think its obvious he'd be super crushed and its a bit of a heavy ask so -

sorry if this too sad or anything i just love a sprinkle of angst

I don't think Joey would sabatoage the readers birth control. Joey is as happy as can be with his reader, and in his mind if they are taking birth control that just means they want to enjoy sex with him without worry. He knows from his sisters and mother what a toll pregnancy takes on the body, and he doesn't want to put you through that.

If a reader got an abortion (which would be hard as the town doctor would not allow it) he would be crushed. He would most likely have a church service funeral, telling the town you miscarried. Subconsciously, it's his way of shaming you for it. He also hopes encouragement from the townsfolk to try again would sway you into giving him another baby.

Ultimately, while Joey would not force you to get pregnant, you would have kids. You could adopt or he would select a surrogate, but he wants children more than anything, and he will see to it that the farmhouse you share is one day filled with the sounds of tiny feet running around.

"Darlin'... I know we had a rough time with your first pregnancy. I know when you got rid of him, or her, that you were scared. A-and this time we don't have to put the baby in you, if you don't want that, but I'm not gonna lose another little one. You'll understand what a good momma you can be soon enough, and I'll be there for you the whole way."

#yandere #yandere oc #tw.dark content #tw.yandere #ask me stuff #tw.abortion #tw.angst #tw.pregnancy #yandere content #yandere fanfiction #yandere boy #yandere farmboy #yandere farmer #oc joey

[loud-fandemonium]

you know what would be interesting? if I were to date Shigaraki, because I also Scratch at my skin as an unhealthy comping mechanism. Particularly when I’ve been triggered or are having an anxiety attack.

Anyways kinda wanna write a very self indulgent hurt/comfort argument fic where shiggy is being a kinda shitty boyfriend and yelling at reader which tiggers them so they start scratch at there skin and he’s like oh shit oH SHIT and then it ends in fluff😌

#mha shigaraki #shigaraki angst #shigaraki x you #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tenko #shigaraki tomura #tomura x reader #boku no hero academia tomura #bnha #dabi my hero academia #tomura shiragaki #tw.angst #tw.self harm #unhealthy coping mechanisms #angst #hurt comfort #hurt/comfort

[thatinwardhell]

self control

pairing: din djarin/gn!reader

rating: teen and up, minor safe

word count: ~2.4k

warnings: angst, running away

notes: imported from my ao3! originally posted dec. 17, 2019

crossposted on ao3

he was surrounded by a thick air of pompous silence. that’s just how mando was. though he would never know, you would never change him for anything. it was his faith, his virtue that kept his from revealing himself to you. and in that sense, he was a righteous man. but, in the same way, you hated him for it. you could never really hate him. you were young when you met mando, fresh out of your 18th birthday.

he had come to your parents’ farm looking for a man. he had a big, shiny ship that looked like one of the many stars. he carried many guns, the still-warm metal burning in the sun. when you watched him leave after receiving the information he required, you immediately decided to run away. away from your predetermined future as a farmer, tucked away on some remote corner of tatooine for the rest of your years, away from your parents, away from the backwater planet that had trapped you in its atmosphere. packing the blaster your parents had given you for hunting, extra clothes, and some provisions for the journey to the city, you took a speeder used for trading and sped off.

you said your goodbyes, the note stuck to the icebox with a magnet greeting your parents as they woke up. the moon was high in the sky, its placid face staring you down from the heavens. the ship he had taken was glowing in the pale moonlight, and you saw the man dragging a limp body easily on to the ship. you ran down to the entrance of the port.

the mandalorian flinched when he saw you standing there, a small gun clasped tightly in your small hand.

“what are you doing here?” he asked, sounding more like a threat than a question.

“i know you probably don’t want me here, but i’m a pretty good mechanic and it seems like you need one.” you spoke softly, your feet shuffling in the sand. he walked toward you threateningly, making you step back slightly.

“i’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured severely, continuing after a small, modulated sigh. “unless you give me a reason.”

he took the gun from you, walking back to the ship.

“what are you doing?” he asked deeply, making you run to the ramp leading up to his ship. “just know that you’re lucky i’m even allowing you the privilege of living for following me here.”

“thank you.” you mumbled.

staring out the window of the ship, the child cooed happily in your lap as you petted its head. mando sat in the pilot’s seat of the ship, flipping switches occasionally and staring out into the cosmos.

“you’re quiet.” he noted. “yeah.” you responded, in contrast to your normal, talkative self. “just thinking.”

mando didn’t take the liberty of asking what you were contemplating. he was like that. some would call him a “strong, silent type.” others would call him an “antisocial, cruel pessimist.” you called him neither. to you, he was just mando, sometimes dyn (if he would allow.) he was just the man you loved for about a year, who you knew would never feel the same. he was in the same deep water as you, trapped in the underworld of the galaxy, a killer, a cruel man. mando looked at you through the glass in front of him, watching you stare out the window. the child was asleep in your lap, snoring softly.

he wondered why you weren’t speaking. had he done something? he toyed with the deep scar in his beskar armor, running his fingers along the scratch. you, on the other hand, began to think about your parents. how were they? you wondered why you had ever left your comfortable life at the farm, living a normal life instead of running away with some rouge bounty hunter. a small tear stained the glass of the window, so you rubbed it off of your cheek. he could hear you, but his strong sense of pride prevented him from asking you why you were crying. it was almost a nauseant, that he couldn’t speak to you genuinely without his pride being hurt. mando watched you pick the child up and carry him to his room, placing him gently down in his bed. you walked to your quarters, flopping down on your bed and crying fully. no matter what you did, you couldn’t manage to make him notice you. you tried jokes, but he seemed to be an agelast. you tried emotional connection, but he was alexithymic. despite all of this, you heard door slide open and there he was. you looked up, glassy eyes finding his visor.

“why are you crying?” he asked, his helmet turning to the ground. his books clanked as he sank down on your cot.

“i wish i had stayed with my parents.” you cried softly, that hurt mando. his pride commanded him to stop feeling sorry for himself.

“why?” he asked, swallowing thickly.

“i don’t know, i just think it would be… better. i’m not cut out for this kind of life. you, obviously, don’t think very highly of me either.”

“i, uh, think that you’re a decent mechanic.” that was the most he could say. the most the masculine upbringing would allow him to express.

“you know, mando, i wish we had grown up on the same advice. you can’t talk to anyone emotionally. like, at all.” you said, a harsh edge to your voice. he nodded, tapping his foot against the floor repeatedly. mando stood up suddenly, walking out of the room and back to the pilot’s seat. he sat down, coughing in a measly attempt to clear the lump in his throat. you watched the tiny sliver of light from the crack of your door thin into nothing as it closed, turning over and looking at a small picture of your parents. they looked so happy, holding the tight bundle of blankets that contained your small form. you had just been born, your parents here so glad. they had been trying for a while and finally got a child. they were so proud of you. it had been at least an hour when you walked back out to the room, picked up the child, who had been crying too.

“rough day, huh, baby?” you asked softly, carrying him back to your room and turning on the light. you sat there for a while, playing with the child. taking a piece of string and dangling above its head, you watched it giggle and reach for it. mando, hearing the child coo, walked back to your room and watched you for a while. you noticed him, looking up at him.

“yes?” you asked, smiling down at the small, green creature at your feet. his modulated voice cut through the silence.

“i wanted to tell you something,” you motioned for him to continue, making him sigh. “you can go home if you wanted to. i can set the navigator back to your home planet, and you can see your parents again.”

“i don’t want to.” he inhaled sharply through his nose. mando’s surprise was evident. “i’m not gonna pretend that i don’t have feelings for you, and i’m not gonna pretend that i want to go back home. sure, i miss my parents, but there’s no way i’m leaving the entire galaxy to go back to some farm in the middle of nowhere.”

“are you sure?” he asked, smiling slightly under the helmet.

“yes,” you smiled. and that was enough for him.

#din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #mando x you #tw.angst

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

hey! im in the mood for some heavy angst. i love marriage angst. this may seem weird,, but tw: maybe like the reader has enough with how he’s treating her so she ~disappears~ if yk what i mean…

YOU LET HER GO

Miya Atsumu x Reader, Akaashi Keiji x Reader

WARNING: Angst, NO HAPPY ENDING, arguments, derogatory language, violence, fighting, neglect, a whole lotta hurt

A/N: Thanks for the request! I love writing angst but this made me so sad! But thank you so much for sending in your request! Take care, drink water! (The title was semi-inspired by Let Her Go by Passenger because as soon as I thought of it I thought of the song so enjoy that lol.) There is no happy ending in this, so read at your own caution!

MIYA ATSUMU

You love Miya Atsumu for his fire, for his passion.

His dedication to any and everything is apparent in everything he does.

He plays volleyball with a passion unlike any other, and well before he became a superstar on the court, you were captivated by his motivation.

And now, being married for over three years, you’ve watched first hand how his journey to stardom has changed him.

He’s even more passionate, and while that yields amazing results for his team and for his career, it’s detrimental to your marriage.

“God, can I even trust ya here alone?”

You roll your eyes so hard you’re worried that they’ll fall out of your head. “Atsumu, this isn’t the first time you’ve gone away for a stretch for a game. Why are you freaking out now?”

“Oh I don’t know!” Atsumu mock-asks. He’s angrily shoving clothes into his overnight bag, having to depart for an away game that will take him out of town for three days. “Maybe because you’ve been sneaking around me for weeks now, clearin’ yer history on yer laptop.”

“You’ve been going through my stuff?” You ask, incredulous. You had a perfectly good explanation for hiding your search history, but you couldn’t bring it up to your husband. It kind of ruins the whole surprise outing you’d been planning for weeks for your anniversary.

“Yer damn right I have!” Atsumu zips his bag shut, so hard you’re certain that the slider will fly right off the bag. “And makin’ secret calls to my own fuckin’ brother!”

“Jesus Christ.” You have been making secret calls to Osamu, but he was instrumental in pulling off your plan. After begging and pleading, your brother-in-law said he would help orchestrate the more elaborate parts of your plan, which included securing a reservation at Osaka’s fanciest restaurant through a connection and gathering their old high school team for a pick-up game of volleyball. You were indebted to Osamu, and he was sure to remind you every time you saw him.

“Atsumu,” You say now. “Please, I’m not cheating on you, or anything. I know you have to leave, but trust me.”

“How can I trust ya, when yer out whorin’ around behind my back!”

Atsumu’s response slaps you across the face as hard as a physical blow would. Even so, you stagger back, physically winded from the harsh words. You can’t even think of a response to your husband, who frankly has become so unrecognizable to you.

Gone is the man who sought no greater pleasure than being the best on the volleyball court, and treating you with the same love and devotion he treats his sport. You know that coming to the big league has changed Atsumu, since he wasn’t the only star player on the court anymore. He had to find alternative routes to get to the opposing team and, in his eyes, if that mean exploiting a nasty truth about a player’s personal life he had no problem utilizing that fact to dishearten them.

You hated it, and you told him it was malicious. He said it was part of the game. And despite your reservations, he never ever tried that with you.

But now, he did. Now, your husband of three years, boyfriend for three years before that, and your best friend for who knows how long, seeks to break you down like he does his opponent. Crush you and come out on top, for whatever asinine reason his brain is supplying him with.

You’re nothing more to him than a pawn in his game.

That’s the truth that keeps you from responding, that makes you sit down on your shared bed, feeling faint and nauseous at the charged and angry energy in the room.

Atsumu, still with a hard glint in his eye, smirks at you before shouldering his bag. He thinks he’s got you, and you can’t even begin to try and explain how wrong he is. “I have to go. Don’t think that we’re done talkin’ about this.”

With that he leaves, and from your spot on the bed you hear the front door open and slam shut. You can’t move, too stunned by the actions of the complete stranger you’re married to.

Maybe you’re too emotional, maybe you can’t think straight at the moment, but there’s really only one thing you can think to do.

~~~~~

Miya Atsumu unlocks the door to his apartment, tiredly shouldering it open before letting his bag fall at his feet. He sighs loudly, the events of the past 48 hours catching up to him - riding a cramped bus up north for six hours, playing a five-set match against the Adlers, after-party with fans and sponsors before a few hours of sleep, then a promotional camp held jointly with the Adlers for even more sponsors, before getting back on the bus for the ride home. He’s barely had any time to rest, nor any time alone from his loud and smelly teammates.

The only plus from the entire trip was pulling off a spectacular win against the Adlers, and Atsumu taking personal gratification from the murderous looks Kageyama sent through the net.

But now Atsumu is ready to take a long, hot shower and eat a delicious meal before collapsing in bed for hours. He’d prefer if you could join him for all three, but he’ll at least settle for dinner together before snuggles in bed. There are some things you both need to talk about.

Atsumu’s grown as a person to know that he owes you an apology. He flew off the handle last time you both spoke, and while his argument has solid proof he shouldn’t have gotten so angry. It’s almost instinct to him to seek weaknesses in his enemy and exploit them. But it took him the bus ride to Tokyo to realize how fucking dumb he was.

You weren’t his enemy, you were his wife. His partner, for better or worse. And yes, your secrecy is not shining a great light on the promises you made to each other in marriage, but he knows you would never cheat on him. Part of him thinks he’s just scared that he’ll be wrong, another part of him has no clue as to why he shuts down and becomes so angry he can barely think.

Although the idea of you sneaking off to be with Osamu is a pretty good trigger to cause a total Atsumu Meltdown, he reckons.

Now Atsumu just wants to be with you, share in your company and get to the bottom of this whole mess. And that starts with finding you and setting time to talk.

But you are nowhere to be found.

Atsumu has now circled the apartment several times, and it’s cold and lifeless. You’re not here, and it honestly feels like no one has been here for days now.

Atsumu sprints to the bathroom, and seeing an empty toothbrush cup confirms that you’re not here. Empty drawers in the bedroom confirm that you’re gone. A gold band sitting on the kitchen counter confirms that you’re not coming back.

Atsumu stands in the kitchen, starring down at the ring while his brain tries to process what’s going on. But instead of despair flooding his mind, anger fills in the vacant space. Red hot anger, the flames licking along his arms and legs, nearly consumes Atsumu. That fucking bitch is the mantra that echoes in his brain, compelling him to grab the ring and fling it across the room. It’s the feeling that fuels him to storm out of his apartment, run down the street and barrel into Onigiri Miya, ignoring the CLOSED sign hanging in the window.

Miya Osamu stands at the counter, wiping the surface with a rag, and becomes the perfect target for Atsumu to unleash his fury onto.

After all, he’s the one sleeping with his wife. His twin brother is the one who betrayed him. So why shouldn’t he get a nice punch to the face?

“Atsumu!” Osamu’s cry doesn’t stop Atsumu from propelling over the counter and tackling his brother, sending them both crashing to the ground. They struggle together, but Atsumu has Osamu’s confusion on his side and is able to land several good hits before Osamu shoves him to the ground.

“What the hell has gotten into ya?!” Osamu screams, working to grab Atsumu’s arms and slow his barrage.

“I should be askin’ ya the same think you piece of shit!” Atsumu snarls, working to release his arms from Osamu so he can continue his barrage. “What the fuck are ya doin’, sleepin’ with YN?”

“WHAT?!” Osamu’s caught off guard yet again and Atsumu is able to push him back to the ground and kneel on his chest. Atsumu punches his brother’s face several times, not satisfied with the blood pouring from his nose or the pained grunts coming from his face. Atsumu isn’t sure what will satisfy him at the moment, but pummeling his brother will help him find the answer.

“Yer fuckin’ YN behind my back! I know about the calls! I know about YN sneakin’ around! I know about her clearin’ her search history!” Every bulleted point is paired with a punch to Osamu, and Atsumu feels a small amount of satisfaction at the swelling already on Osamu’s face.

“I’m not sleepin’ with YN!” Osamu coughs out. Atsumu can tell Osamu is trying to yell back but can’t get out more than a hoarse shout. “I’m helpin’ her!”

“With what?”

Osamu struggles with Atsumu some more, but his movements are so weak that it doesn’t take much for Atsumu to shove his arms away. Osamu coughs out again. “M’ helpin’ her surprise ya! For yer anniversary!”

That brings Atsumu up short and he finally halts in his motions. His brother tries to push him off, but his arms barely move Atsumu off his chest.

But Atsumu is far away, not paying attention to Osamu’s feeble attempts to move him. No, he’s far far away, completely lost in the fact that you were trying to do something for him. An elaborate surprise to celebrate your shared anniversary. You weren’t cheating on him, you were going around with Atsumu.

He was wrong.

It’s happened before, but not like this. He’s made errors when calculating where to send a serve, or who to send a spike to. Those mistakes seem so insignificant, in comparison to this.

“How can I trust ya, when yer out whorin’ around behind my back!”

The disgusting retort, made in the height of his anger, was so wrong. Not just factually wrong, but so inappropriate for a husband to say to his wife. He was so sure he’d caught you, but he was so wrong.

What is wrong with you? Atsumu wants to scream at himself, the nasty part of him that spews such awful accusations to you, or beats his own brother bloody and bruised. He has to find someone to blame, someone has to be accountable for such heinous actions.

But it’s him. It’s Miya Atsumu who was in the wrong. He’s made a drastic error, one that he doesn’t think he can come back from.

AKAASHI KEIJI

Texts left on read, phone calls unanswered.

Your husband Akaashi Keiji is a workaholic.

Not necessarily by choice, definitely not by desire.

But he’s honored bound to work hard and finish a job.

It’s admirable, and he brings home a steady paycheck to contribute to your shared funds.

This is nice, but what would be nicer is some time and attention from your husband.

And on the one day it counted most, he disappoints you, and you’re at the end of your rope.

Akaashi pushes open the door, and it’s not until he closes it shut that he notices how quiet it is.

It’s weirdly quiet.

It’s strange, because when he comes home you’re either watching TV or finishing dinner. He’s caught you dancing around the house to your shared wedding song. He remembers wanting to join you but he was so tired that night that he went to sleep instead.

But maybe you were just finishing up dinner, so he wanders into the kitchen. A faint smell, still delicious, guides Akaashi through the house. He sighs in relief - it’s been awhile since you’ve put together a nice meal for the both of you. Akashi’s excited to sit and share dinner with you.

But to his growing confusion he comes across an empty kitchen. There’s a lot on the stove, upon further inspection shows a now-cold homemade curry. The rice cooker on the counter is still on, left in ‘keep warm’ mode. The table is set, the nicest dinnerware you both own set out - from the polished silverware to the stacked plates. Two candles sit on the table also, both slightly burned down but now extinguished.

Not only is Akaashi horribly confused, he’s growing concerned. There’s the smallest thought in his head, picking and poking at his brain. It’s quite annoying but for the life of him he can’t imagine what this little thought is trying to tell him. He decides to look for you and try to get some answers.

It’s not until he walks by the bathroom door, freezes in his tracks, turns around quickly and stops in the doorway that the confusion ebbs away into fear.

All of your toiletries from your side of the counter are gone. All of the products from your facial care regimen, your toothpaste, your toothbrush. Akaashi never had even half of what you had on the bathroom counter, but his few items scattered around look comical compared to the vast emptiness on the other side.

She’s g-

Akaashi doesn’t let himself finish that thought before he’s running to the bedroom. Even before flipping on the light he can see the gaping holes in the closet where your clothes once hanged. But he still sprints over to the small room to confirm that yes, all of your clothes are completely gone. His heavy breathing fills the space as his thoughts race past each other faster than before.

She’s gone, he thinks wildly. Why is she gone?

Were you finally sick of his long days at the office? Did he not pay enough attention to you? Akaashi just assumed that you were fine with his workaholic tendencies - it’s been like this for so long he can’t imagine you would have put up with it.

What was the breaking point?

Akaashi steps out of the closet, and a small object catches his eye. There’s an envelope on the bed, addressed to him. He picks it up, terrified by the weight it holds. Like it’s more than just a simple letter left behind. He pries it open and pulls out the paper. On it is two simple words that absolutely shatter his world.

Happy Anniversary.

He blinks. There’s no way it’s your anniversary. He wouldn’t have forgotten a day so important to you, to him. But sure enough, pulling out his phone to confirm the date, he did.

Ah, the breaking point. Akaashi thinks to himself madly.

He’s still holding the envelope in his hand when he realizes that the envelope isn’t empty. With a shaking hand he reaches in and pulls out the cool metal of your wedding band.

Dropping to his knees, Akaashi begins to cry as he realizes that he’s lost the greatest love of his life. The vows he swore to you on the day he put this ring on your finger were just empty promises. Unintentional empty promises, but preventable. And now you’re gone.

Taglist (Crossed out cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @ara-mitsue @meianshugoswife @amarinthe @savantsoulfinder @iamapotat @myasaaaam @jellien @rntrsuna

#tw.angst no comfort #haikyuu! #haikyuu #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #haikyuu angst #hq angst #haikyuu hurt #hq hurt #haikyuu hurt no comfort #hq hurt no comfort

[adorzora]

HI BABE!!! I FINALLY CAME UP WITH A REQ/ASK! ok I’m crying cuz I always read spoilers SO!!!! hear me out, scenario where reader is the sole person to save Mikey in the future (like first love type of thing, his saving grace, etc etc) 🥺 but they broke up in the past bc reader wanted to get away from Toman & live a life that didn’t involve violence. Angst, fluff, LUVVV? Idk up to you. ♥️ ty ily

𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 ~ 𝑚. 𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑜

wc: 1.7k

synopsis: you think you can save bonten!mikey from himself but you’re sadly mistaken.

tw: angst, death, mentions the word blood and hand gun, m!rder,

a/n: here you go kris 💓 i hope you like it and i’m sorry it took 273849392 days for me to write 😭🥴 and idk if this is what you were looking for so lmk and i’ll gladly fix it 😌 i tired to make this as gender neutral as possible please let me know if i didn’t anywhere. as always thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs are highly appreciated 😚💘

tagging: @hisvillainess

please do not plagiarize my work.

You never thought you would ever see one of your old childhood friends on your doorstep in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken to him in years, so you couldn’t understand why he would be here of all places.

“Takemitchy…what’re you doing here? It’s been so long”

“Y/N we need to talk, it’s important.”

You stood in the doorway looking dumbfounded. Why would Takemitchy need to talk to you about something important? Surely it’s not about gang related stuff, last you knew Takemitchy was no longer a delinquent.

“About what? What’s so important you decided to knock on my door at such a late hour? How did you even find out where I live?”

“That’s not important right now just- please Y/N we need to talk!!”

You thought it over and you came to the conclusion that Takemitchy doesn’t do things unless there’s a reason for them. At least that’s how he used to be. Reluctantly you stepped aside and let him into your apartment.

You were standing at the stove making some tea while Takemitchy was seated at your dining room table. After making awkward small talk and catching up you decided to get on to the point of his visit.

“So why are you here Takemitchy?”

“Have you seen the news recently Y/N about the gang Bonten?”

“Yes they’re on the evening news almost nightly. Why?”

“I know the leader, and so do you..it’s Mikey. Mikey’s the leader of Bonten.”

Your blood ran cold and you dropped the cup you were pouring the tea into, it shattering on the floor. You couldn’t believe, Mikey the Mikey you once knew was the infamous leader of the most dangerous gang in Tokyo. There’s no way, you refuse to believe it.

“You’re lying…there’s no way Mikey would be apart of something like that”

“I couldn’t believe it either..but it’s true! Look!”

He walks over and shows you a picture of some members of Bonten all leaving from someplace. In the back, just barely you could make him out. It was Mikey, he dyed his hair white and his eyes looked dead, they no longer shined like they once used to. And you could make out the infamous Bonten gang tattoo on the back of his neck right in the middle.

“I-I can’t believe it…how-how did this happen?” Your heart was racing and your body was shaking. “Was it all my fault? Did he turn out like this because I left?” you kept asking yourself these questions in your head, wondering if you were the cause of Mikey's downfall.

You used to run with Toman back in the day, in their prime. You were never officially a member but you might as well have been. You were at every meeting, every party, and every fight, although Mikey would never let you join in on the action so you would always cheer on the sidelines. You, Mikey and Draken were childhood friends you grew up together and they were like your two older brothers. Draken knew before either of you how you and Mikey felt for one another. He could see it in the way you guys acted around each other and the look in your eyes when you look at eachother. He was always silently rooting for you two.

You can’t remember when or how you fell in love with Manjiro Sano, all you knew was that loving him felt like what the first ray of sunshine feels like on your skin after a long and cold winter. It was like he brought you to life and you did the same for him. Slowly you noticed a change in him, a change in his attitude and personality. He was no longer the same lovable Mikey. Your suspicions were confirmed after he announced he wanted to disband Toman. Toman was his pride and joy there’s no way Mikey would let it go so easily. He kept telling you that all good things come to an end. You left after the first time Mikey and his new gang committed a crime. Mikey was no longer the same Mikey you fell in love with. You remember the hurt in his eyes and you swear that the world was silent to the sound of his heart shattering. Deep down you feel guilty to this day. You wonder, was it because you left that Mikey turned into this monster? Could you fix him and turn him back into the fun and loveable boy you fell in love with all those years ago?

“Okay Takemitchy, I’ll do it. I’ll talk to Mikey.”

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

The place Mikey told you to go to was a run down abandoned building. The only reason you agreed to meet here was because Naoto and Takemitchy swore they would be right around the corner in the police car. All you had to do was call them if you felt unsafe. You entered the building to find it empty. Mikey wasn’t here yet…or worse case he stood you up.

“It’s been so long, Y/N”

You turned around quickly and saw Mikey standing there. He looked so different from how you remember. Back in the shadows you saw another man with him. He had medium pink hair and scars on the side of his mouth. He looked familiar but you couldn’t remember who he was.

“M-Mikey, it’s n-nice to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you too. I never thought I would again. I hope you don’t mind but as a precaution I need Sanzu here to pat you down before we continue this meeting.”

You couldn’t believe this was the same Mikey. He sounded so different, his voice was no longer playful and upbeat, instead it was stern and erie.

“Y-yeah sure.”

With that Mikey motioned for Sanzu to come forward. When he emerged from the shadows you recognized him instantly. Or you could say you recognized the crazed look in his eyes. It was the same one he had long ago. It still gives you chills. As he began checking you over for weapons or anything that could be a potential threat you couldn’t help but tremble, you got this feeling from him that he was a very dangerous individual.

“All clear boss.” Sanzu said when he was done.

“Thank you. You can leave us now.”

Sanzu left but not before giving you a smirk, causing your heart rate to speed up again.

“You know, I never thought I would see you again.” Mikey said to you, first to break the silence.

“Mikey..what happened to you? This isn’t the Mikey I remember.”

His eyes narrowed at you as he approached you. Unconsciously you took a step back but that didn’t stop him. He didn’t stop till he was standing right in front of you, and that’s when you were able to get a good look at him. His eyes had dark circles around them and they looked dead. You could see the sadness and emptiness in them. Eyes that were once filled with kindness and happiness. You noticed how skinny he had gotten, he must’ve stopped eating so much over the years, or maybe he didn’t feel like eating anymore. He was nothing more than a shell of who he used to be. You could almost cry seeing him now compared to what he used to be.

“I haven’t been that Mikey in many years. I’m not sure if I even remember him. The look in your face tells me you do though. I wonder what everyone else would say if they could see me now. Would they have the same look you do?”

“Mikey it’s not too late for you. You can still redeem yourself.”

He laughed cynically, “Oh Y/N there’s no redeeming qualities left in me. You know, the day you left is when I realized that no matter what, everyone is going to leave me. I lost you, my brother and my sister all before I was an adult. I kept looking for someone to blame but the only person who came to mind was myself. That’s when I knew, this is who I was meant to become.”

“ That’s not true Mikey, you-“

“I never loved someone the way I loved you, Y/N” he said, cutting you off.

“I really thought you were my saving grace, the one to make my life mean something, but then all of a sudden you left too. I don’t know why I was surprised. But something broke within me that day and that’s when I swore I would never let someone get close to me again. You see Y/N you changed me, and that’s why I need to do this.”

Before you could register what was happening, Mikey pulled out a handgun and had it pointed at your stomach.. You were frozen in place with fear, you couldn’t believe Mikey really wanted to kill you.

“M-m-mikey please, I-i didn’t mean to hurt you.” you said as tears streamed down your face as you were staring death right in the face.

“I know darling, no one ever means to hurt another,” He bent down and brought his mouth down to your ear,

“But you left me, the only person I had left, you left me alone in this world.” He whispered before he pulled the trigger, shooting you in the stomach.

For a second you didn’t believe he actually did it. Only when you looked down and saw the blood leaking from your abdomen did you finally realize what had happened. Mikey shot you, in cold blood. You fell to the ground and looked up at him.

“Mmm-mikey w-why?” You choked out.

“Because I still love you, I always will. If I can't have you in this life, maybe I can have you in another.” Your vision was becoming blurry but you were just barely able to see tears running down his cheeks.

As your body slipped into unconsciousness you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe in another life you could’ve changed the way things had happened. Maybe you would’ve had a long and happy life with Mikey like you both once used to talk about. In another life maybe you would’ve saved him.

#𝕟𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤❥ #tw.angst #tw angst #tw.death #tw death #tw. blood #tw blood #mikey x reader #manjiro x reader #mikey x y/n #mikey imagine #mikey x reader angst #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers imagine #manjiro sano #mikey #toman #bonten!mikey #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokrev angst #tw.dark content #tw dark content

[jocup]

Get Well Soon.

A/N: This one was so cute hehehehehe… There will probably be a follow up to this though!

Warnings: TW.Gore, TW.Angst? maybe, more Fluff though. READER GOES TO SLEEP AT THE END they don’t die just to clarify lol

Pairings: Various x Reader

Summary: The people of Mondstadt show their love and care for you on your road to recovery for the injuries you’ve sustained during your travels!

You’ve been resting at the Cathedral for 2 days? 3 Maybe? Well maybe even a week at this point. Hell if you knew.

Barbara hadn't allowed you any visitors since the incident and clearly--this isolation has been nothing short of tormenting. You might even cry if she didn't have eyes on you most of the time. But you'd rather be caught dead if she so much as saw a single droplet trickle down your cheek...

Well, that might be an exaggeration.

And while you couldn't express your gratitude for the blondie’s aid more than you already had--the loneliness was painful. 

You want nothing more than to be seen, heard, touched even.

You keep asking Barbara, well—nagging Barbara about updates on your discharge. And at this point, she might just rip you off the bed and kick your ass right to the curb. You're not annoying, you? Nooooooo! But Archons, if she was told you had another near-death experience again, she wouldn't cry out of pity or concern for your well-being, she’d cry because of the pain she would have to endure from then until... who knows when.

Oh yes, you almost died.

Prior to the... little incident, you had taken Lumine up on an offer to go journeying with her and Paimon after being stuck patrolling around areas of potential danger nearing Mondstadt, Jean giving you the “OK” and so, off you went.

Though, had you not been there for Lumine, her face would've taken an insane hit from the mitachurl’s axe. Which because of your amazing skills and speed, didn't happened.

It only really gave you a big ol’ gash across your abdomen, causing you to bleed profusely, pass out and making you almost, just almost meet your maker. Which you didn't! And you're alive and well, that's all that matters.

You couldn't say Jean felt the same towards your little act of selflessness, it damn near costed your life and she was fuming with anger. You were like, Klee-level irresponsible at this point, and she really didn't want another problem to deal with, 

She almost considered solitary confinement. Seriously as much as she loved you, this really put her in a state of panic for a few days.

From that day on it’s been nothing but constant worry amongst Mondstadt citizens, constantly asking the knights, Jean, Barbara, anyone they could look to for valuable information on your recovery.

You've received mass quantities of flowers, cards and gifts... and all of them smelled heavenly.

And you especially appreciated the ones given to you by none other than your student Bennett, Windwheel Asters, and the note said he picked them with Razor, which made you really, really emotional for some reason. Maybe because it reminded you that you would be missing out on the goods and their training and whatnot, maybe it was because your fondness for them all grew more and more as days without contact almost drove you off the edge of insanity. Who knows.

And Kaeya, oh Kaeya, that idiot. 

The bottle of wine you'd been eyeing across the room for a day and a half now, had been nobodies fault but his. 

What dumbass gifts an injured person wine?!? And by Barbatos, you were seconds away from ripping all these stupid bandages off and going to town with that bottle of liquid-y goodness. 

But... you loved him, and you'd probably kiss him all over his face because you're sure behind all that stupid cockiness he means well, the card wishing you a speedy recovery just to prove it.

Eula, you're really sure she means well, she's never been one for words. Not a very articulate gal for sure, but that was a factor about the ice queen you loved the most, and her acts of service were more than what you needed to know that you held a soft place in her heart. 

The perfectly wrapped blue box full of sweets made your heart swell, and you recall the night you've told her about your love for the treats well placed in the box, and you make a mental note to give her the biggest hug you've probably given anyone.

You really wish you weren't so sappy right now, and you could probably go on for days about Diluc, Jean, Lisa and the rest but unlike Eula and the others, they use words and lots of them, its cute.. but your poor heart can only take so much in one sitting! 

By the end you would for sure be sobbing and sobbing until someone finally built up the courage to just tell you to shut up.

And you feel nauseous.

...Perhaps it was the medicine that Barbara had given you, but you felt really dizzy. Maybe you could express your gratitude after a very much needed nap. Oh yes, you'll surely thank each and every one of them.

Maybe in a day? 2 days? Maybe even a week. You're clearly too tired to now, but you'll be in tip-top shape soon.

Before your eyes drift off to sleep, you take it upon yourself to take the note given to you by Bennett, your student, the one that acts like you were the one to conceive him or something. He was so sweet. 

You look it over just once more, and give it a kiss.

“Thank you everyone, I love you.”

You hug it close, and close your eyes.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #kaeya x reader #venti x reader #rosaria x reader #eula x reader #various x reader #mondstadt #jean x reader #diluc x reader #albedo x reader