#haikyuu hurt

[pengujoon]

A HOPELESS DEVOTION (ii)

content. oikawa x bsf!reader, reader has a crush on oikawa, oikawa is a douchebag, iwaizumi is their mutual best friend. angst and more angst, cw: suicide. Iwaizumi gets super sad at the end i'm sorry baby. too many tragedies in this

a/n: i keep deleting the story so i have to do the formatting again and again i'm so done. didn’t know people would like the first part sm so here’s the second part as suggested!

part i

Of course the atmosphere in high school the next day wasn’t the best - one of their most famous students killed themselves. Who are we kidding? They’re known throughout the entire province as the infamous volleyball captain’s best friend!

But to him, he hated their very presence. They were nothing but a nuisance. Yeah, initially he wanted to become friends purely because he saw that they had no one to be with - until he realised that they are the child of the president of the Miyagi prefecture volleyball association. Then everything went downhill from there.

All those times that you wore his jersey to watch his games made his stomach churn - he couldn’t possibly see you taint the jersey that was exquisitely his. He couldn’t possibly replace it with a new one, no no. His act would be easily blown by keen eyes. He had a reputation to uphold. 

But little did he knew that his carefully articulated plan of using you to get close to your father was blown way earlier than he ever expected anyone to know about it. And undoubtedly, it was none other than their very setter.

“Iwaizumi!” it was an undeniable fact that he made the group become a trio because all three of you were childhood friends: the only difference was that you didn’t know who oikawa was and vice versa. But the both of you knew Iwaizumi, which then led to the formation of the current friendgroup that took Aoba Johsai by storm. 

From the very beginning, Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa wasn’t someone you’d like to be with - especially so if you’re naive. Maybe it’s instinctive, but Oikawa is especially manipulative and is probably one of the most skillful people pleaser Iwaizumi has met in his entire life. 

And such is the reason why he was worried when he saw a sudden change in Oikawa’s behaviour to you - it was as though he was trying to please you, to not make you angry - to put simply: he was sucking up to you.

But to him, it didn’t make sense! Why? You couldn’t even possibly do anything that would benefit him - until he saw you walking towards the Miyagi Prefecture Volleyball Association building. Remembering that your father was the president of the association, it hit him that Oikawa wanted to get to your father through you.

The situation at hand was not favourable to Oikawa - the party took place in Iwaizumi’s home. It just happens that Iwaizumi’s family was well off and affluent, allowing him to have access to the cctv footage that captures the in and out of the entire penthouse. 

After being taught since young to watch over the day’s cctv footage to identify anything that seems remotely out of place, he made it a habit to watch them right about to sleep, something like a bedtime story. 

The moment he started the footage, he found you. 

It was offputting seeing the way you stood outside the kitchen. You looked… tired? Fearful? The cctv couldn’t really capture your expression given the distance, but at least he could make out the fact that you were hiding from someone. 

Probably Oikawa, he thought. 

His thoughts were confirmed seeing the very man in the kitchen with another friend of his. Thank goodness the situation was of use to him. The room was pin-drop silent, save for the soft distant humming noises of music and people from the living room.

He quickly put his earphones on to listen in on their conversation. 

And boy, he was pissed. 

The next day - with no warning signs and no nothing - the moment he saw Oikawa practicing alone in the gymnasium, he saw red. 

“You fucker!” Iwaizumi ran up to Oikawa and pushed him so hard he fell on top of the pile of volleyballs that lay dormant below him. 

“The fuck you want?” Oikawa shouted back in retaliation, surprised by Iwaizumi’s sudden outburst. 

“What did you say the other day when you were over at my house?!” He shouted, not bothering if anyone could hear it even if they were feet away from the now closely shut gymnasium.

Before Oikawa could even respond, Iwaizumi quickly added to his statement. 

“Before your ‘best friend’ stood outside the kitchen, they were happy! They skipped around when they were outside at the rooftop before looking so fearful when they were outside by the kitchen!”

Everything went blank after Oikawa heard Iwaizumi say the first 8 words. You were outside there hearing him talk about you like you’re nothing? That’s probably way you commited suicide. 

It then hit him like a truck.

Oh god, he thought, what does that make me?

“You’re a fucking murderer!” 

Ah, that’s who I am. 

“You think I don’t know that you got close to your now dead best friend only to reach her father? You think I don’t know that’s what you’re planning?

“It’s fucking tiring having to juggle your issues. They loved you! They were about to confess to you on that very night itself but look at what happened.”

He took a brief pause.

“They’re dead.”

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them. “Now what do you have to say about what happened that day in the kitchen?”

Oikawa remained silent, his head hanging low.

“Speak, you asshole!” He flinched hearing Iwaizumi roar at him. “What is it that you said that made your best friend jump off my penthouse?”

“I said I hated them!” Oikawa yelled in retaliation. “Said that I should get an award for acting that I like them so well.” Although he whispered the last part under his breath, it reached Iwaizumi’s ears and he had to put in all his effort to not beat this sorry sake of a best friend up into a mush.

 Iwaizumi turned his back against Oikawa and began pacing around the court. Anyone could tell that they shouldn’t get close to him right now: one wrong step and you’ll be done for. The fury in each step scared Oikawa - he had never seen him so angry before. Never once in his entire life.

“Did you know?”

Iwaizumi asked out of the blue, prompting Oikawa to look up at him. Oikawa hated how weak he was in this situation, so vulnerable and powerless against Iwaizumi. He hated the power imbalance.

“They have a name for themselves on a public diary website. I interact with them a lot there, but they doesn’t know it’s me. Although no names were mentioned, I just knew it was you. They wrote about what they felt for you and I could feel the love ooze out from the words beautifully articulated in her entries.” 

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, his eyes evidently teary. 

“You’re a bitch. Imagine finding out that your best-friend-turned-crush never liked you and fucking depises you. You should be grateful that they never found out that you got close to them only to suck up to their father.

“Imagine if they did. Your life with volleyball will be no more.

“Just like theirs.”

The pain from your death engulfed them both like an unending storm. The suffocating weight of guilt and remorse crushed their spirits, leaving them shattered and lost - they simply had no more reason to live. Losing someone as dear as you left a void in them that seemed impossible to fill.

Iwaizumi withdrew from everyone, shutting himself off from the real world. The once lively young man with a life full of potential became a mere ghost of his former self. For weeks and weeks, he blamed himself for not recognising the signs of your inner struggle, completely breaking down on the inside.

Every night, he replayed the scenes of the cctv footage on the outside rooftop, wondering what he could have done differently to prevent such a heart wrenching outcome. He would cry himself to sleep every night, knowing that he could no longer find solace in your presence anymore.

Oikawa, too, fell into a downard spiral of self-destruction. His dreams of volleyball success and fame lost all meaning; volleyball, once his passion and escape, now only served as the constant reminder reminder of the consequences of his mindless actions. 

The court, once a place bustling with energy and euphoria, now felt desolate and empty. He turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, hoping to numb the pain that threatened to consume him.

Their friendship, once a rock-solid bond, slowly fell apart under the weight of their shared pain and regret. They became distant, unable to find solace in each other as they once did. The loss of their friend had left an irreversibly deep impact on them, altering the course of their lives and leaving wounds that seemed impossible to heal.

The weight of his sorrow became too much for Oikawa to carry. Without uttering a single word, he vanished from the world of volleyball and from Iwaizumi’s life. Their once unbreakable friendship shattered like fragile glass; the void he left behind felt like another gaping hole in Iwaizumi’s heart, an emptiness that could never be filled by anyone else.

Iwaizumi searched for Oikawa relentlessly, but his efforts were in vain. He couldn’t help but blame himself for driving him away, believing that he had failed his friend once again. The pain of losing you and now Oikawa as well was too much for him to bear.

Their paths crossed again one rainy evening. 

Iwaizumi, aimlessly wandering the streets, found Oikawa standing on the edge of a bridge, the constant raindrops mixing with his tears. It felt as though the sky was an accurate representation of their inner turmoils, hitting just a little too close to home.

The sight of Oikawa hopelessly standing at the edge of the bridge with no one else in sight pierced Iwaizumi’s heart, the pain inevitably obvious in Oikawa’s very own eyes.

“Don’t,” Iwaizumi pleaded, his voice choked with emotion. “Don’t do it, Oikawa.”

Oikawa turned towards the black-haired male, his face a mask of anguish and sorrow. What was once the captain of a powerhouse oozing with nothing but confidence was now a broken soul adrift in a sea of hopelessness.

The sparkle in Oikawa’s eyes had dimmed, and his once infectious smile had vanished, leaving only a haunting emptiness within him. 

“I can’t bear this pain, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa choked back a sob. “It’s all my fault. I pushed them away, and now they’re gone.” 

Iwaizumi took a shaky step forward; he was treading on a very fine line here - one wrong step and everything’s precious to him will be gone. “We can’t bring them back, but we can try to make amends. To live for them.”

Oikawa’s trembling intensified as he clung to the slippery railing. “I don’t know if I can, Iwa-chan. The guilt is consuming me inside.”

“I feel it too,” Iwaizumi admitted, his tears now streaming down his face. “But we can’t live on like this. They wouldn’t want it.”

The rain continued to pour down around them, as though it was a metaphor for the tears they both shed for their lost friend. In that somber moment, Iwaizumi realised how much pain Oikawa was holding within him, how deeply the loss had scarred his very soul.

As Iwaizumi watched in horror, his heart pounded in his chest, desperately hoping that somehow he could reach Oikawa before he jumped. He reached out to his friend, refusing to let go, trying to anchor him to the present, to the life they once shared.

“Please, Oikawa,” he implored, voice breaking with emotion. “Don’t do this.”

Oikawa’s grip on the railing tightened, eyes hollow and distant. He seemed lost in a world of his own torment, disconnected from reality, from Iwaizumi’s pleas. The rain mixed with the tears on his cheeks, but he remained silent - it was as though the ages of torment had stolen his voice.

The darkness within Oikawa was too much to bear, and the pain too overwhelming.

Iwaizumi watched in horror as Oikawa let go of the railing and disappeared into the raging depths below, swallowed by the darkness of the river. Iwaizumi’s heart screamed in agony as he desperately reached out to save his friend, but it was too late. 

He lost both his best friends, and what was once a trio bustling with energy now felt like an abandoned and desolate place. The laughter that had once filled the air now echoed back as haunting memories in his heart. 

No words, no gestures, no comfort could bridge the chasm that had opened in his soul - a void that could never be filled, a longing that could never be satisfied.

just so you guys know, i wrote this story while i was on a call with this certain crush that inspired this story lol XD but he doesn’t know and we’re just minding our own business but still being on the call to keep each other accompany because we’re not sleeping hahaha edit on my a/n: fuck this. i fell asleep on the call again. this happened twice im not letting this happen anymore  also i don’t know why oikawa keeps appearing in my stories like im sure there are other characters too but it seems that he fits these type of topics given his attitude and the fact that there’s iwaizumi to fight him

#haikyuu angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu oneshot #penguwrites #sup. it seems as though suicide is a common theme in my stories (or at least in my mind) #haikyuu hurt/no comfort #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa x you #haikyuu hurt #oikawa x bsf!reader

[k4g3hika]

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

��Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

#haikyuu #haikyuu anime #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hurt/comfort #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintarou angst #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarou hurt/comfort #suna rintarō #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro scenarios

[chimielie]

girlfriend

summary: Iwaizumi x F!Reader. you might be his girlfriend—but she's his girl.

word count: 2.4k

cw: hurt/comfort. a lot of reader insecurity. fear/mention of emotional cheating but there is none

a/n: this actually fills @akimind's request for my 500 follower event one million years ago but the formatting is tooo hard so. here it is!!! iwaizumi + angst + college au + "that's not what i said." LOVE YOU SORRY HOPE IT HURTS AND IS ALSO ENJOYABLE. <<<<3333333

You didn't mean to fall in love with your boyfriend.

You hadn't gone into this expecting Hajime to become your boyfriend at all, actually. You liked him. Liked how easy it was to be with him. How warm he was when you let your touch linger on him and pretended it was more than a flirty friendship. You hadn't ever predicted it would become so, because Hajime was hung up on his ex-girlfriend.

They'd traveled over oceans to be together, coming to Irvine from the same prefecture in Japan. They had still been together when you met him, her head tucked beneath his chin, his arms wrapped around her waist. Your first thought was "oh, he's beautiful." Your second thought was "they look like they're made for each other." You shoved the first thought deep inside a secret crevice of your brain and stuck out your hand to introduce yourself with a bright smile.

The strain of new adulthood got to them, though, or so you assumed: you were never privy to the gory details of the breakup. They remained friendly, in the same friend group, and it just always seemed obvious to you that they would someday reconcile. It wasn't until two years after their break that you were able to start showing regular, platonic affection to Hajime without feeling like an attempted homewrecker.

It was just before graduation, having dragged him away for a late-night bite to eat so neither of you would starve to death studying for finals, when everything flipped on its head. Your plan to energize the both of you had backfired; you were yawning every other sentence and came close to laying your head on the table before Hajime put his palm down in front of your face.

"Come sit next to me," he'd said, so you maneuvered around into his side of the booth and been promptly pulled into his side. You had looked up at him, murmuring a sleepy question that was more wordless noise than actual English, and that was it. Something you didn't understand softened his gaze, and then he tilted his head to the side and brushed his lips over yours.

It was a perfect first kiss.

In the weeks following it, you had bounced violently between insisting to yourself that he hadn't meant for you to read too far into the kiss and your natural instinct to go after what your heart wanted. And the more he proved that it wasn't a one-off anomaly, that he could kiss you right out of drought into a superbloom, the more you were convinced. Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't knowingly break your heart.

When Hajime asked you to be official, wildflower bouquet in hand, the lights of the now-empty graduation pavilion shining down on the both of you, you said yes, your whole heart and none of your brain in the matter.

As you entered your apartment hand-in-hand with him, greeting all the friends who had gathered there to celebrate the end of undergraduate school, you remembered that the key modifier in "Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't knowingly break your heart" was knowingly. He seemed happy enough announcing the development to everyone else, and then she had walked in, carrying a bottle of wine that almost slipped from her grasp when she saw your proximity. He had dropped your hand—just for a second, but it had happened, and then picked it back up like his sentence hadn't died in his mouth at the sight of her.

He'd always gotten a little defensive when people mentioned their relationship, his features shutting down into a blank, tight expression. Though they obviously weren't as close as they had been for most of their lives, they were still both part of your friend group, and he always seemed to laugh just a little harder at her jokes, kept eye contact a little longer, got embarrassed more easily around her. You didn't want to be jealous or insecure or possessive, but it just felt more increasingly obvious that you were a rebound, a cheap, temporary dupe meant to fill in until Hajime realized and returned to the love of his life.

It was hard to be angry at him, though, because you knew with every fiber of your bleeding heart that he wouldn't do this to you on purpose. You knew he thought he cared for you, that he thought he had moved on. He did a good job almost every day coming very close to persuading you of it, enough to keep you from breaking up with him and leaving him behind, but never quite erasing your insecurities for more than a few weeks at a time.

One of the first mornings you woke up in his bed, well rested and sore in all the right places, he was missing. You got up, mourning the softness of his sheets and the scent of him on the pillowcases, and slipped into one of his shirts before leaving his room to explore.

He was cooking, shirtless in the kitchen, and if that wasn't one of the yummiest things you had seen in your life.

"Good morning," you said, leaning against his counter.

"Very," he returned, flipping an egg in the pan. "Looking like that. I think—I mean, it seems like that shirt always gets chosen to be the boyfriend shirt." He had narrowly avoided saying her name, but you had heard it threatening to tumble out of his mouth. You bit back a response, but your smile still dropped, and he spent the next hour making allusive, sorry overtures without either of you actually acknowledging the slip.

You never wore that shirt again. He gave you another one, you accepted it, and life moved on.

Except you had somehow become mired in the past with a relationship that was long over, and without university or a job to distract you—you were starting at the end of September, which felt aeons away—it was eating you alive, especially as Hajime left for a preliminary return trip to Japan.

"Did you hear how Mattsun and Makki greeted him when he landed?" You sit in the car on the way to the airport, packed in with Hajime's ex, successfully hyping yourself up to see him again until she addressed the group.

"Oh, yeah," you laugh. "So funny." You haven't had a conversation with Hajime that had more depth than "how are u? miss u" for the trip's duration. She's your friend, too, though you've never been close, but there's something unbearable about admitting it to her now, when you're so unsure of your relationship's current status. It has to mean something that he was keeping her updated and active in his life, didn't it?

You find solace in knowing that you don't blame her at all. If you could find an ounce of resentment for her in your heart, you would probably have left Hajime by now—isn't that the mark of a truly evil plot-pushing girlfriend?

You cry when you see him again.

"Happy tears," you assure him, and hide your face in his shoulder.

Later, alone in his apartment, you bite your lip when Hajime asks if you want to sleep over.

"Okay, babe, I don't want to pressure you," he says, and you can feel yourself tensing up as he speaks. "But I feel like you've been—off all day. Is everything okay?"

You blanch and focus on the cowlick on the right side of his head, the one that's endeared him so much to you, so you don't have to look him in the eyes. Too much is bubbling up in your throat, your brain thrown into overdrive, and he's staring at you with so much worry in his eyes it's just not right to leave him hanging:

"No."

Hajime makes a noise you don't understand, low in his throat. "Is it because I didn't call enough while I was gone? Because I can explain that, I promise."

"No," you rush to explain. "I don't—it wasn't you, exactly. I've just—ever since we started dating—I think you still love her."

You're picking at your nails, a bad habit you've had since you were small, and he takes your hands in his, smooths his thumbs over the torn cuticles.

"I don't," he says, finally, neutrally, though his face hasn't formed into the cold mask you're used to seeing when she's brought up. "Ever since we started dating?"

"Before," you admit. "I always thought you would get back together. You just seemed so made for each other."

"But we weren't," a little pucker between his eyebrows forms. "So—what did you think when we started dating?"

"When you first kissed me," you say, "I thought maybe it was a one-off. That you wanted something casual. And then it got more serious, and I thought maybe I could just suppress my insecurities until they went away, and I mean, I really thought you liked me."

"I do," his voice grows more agitated, his lips thinning out.

"Yeah, but..." You trail off. "You would do things that made me think, oh, he's just the perfect guy, they just looked so amazing because I was jealous, and then every so often I'd see you interact with her and it wasn't like how we are at all. I know the insecurity is my own fault, that's not on you, but I feel like it's holding both of us back."

"What do you mean holding us back? You don't think you make me happy?" He snaps, and you wince.

"Not like you are with her! Every time she comes in the room you get this look on your face, like you're speechless. Like-like the songs, Haji, I just..."

He lets go of your hands, crosses his arms.

"Do you really think I'd do that to you?"

"No, Haji, I know you'd never cheat. That's why I fell in love with you! You're a good guy, but I don't want you to wake up one day and break both our hearts because she's meant to be your girl and I'm just your fucking girlfriend." Your eyes sting, your chest heaving by the end of the sentence.

"You love me?" He's quieter now, giving you a little more space to breathe.

"What? That's not what I said."

"Yes, it is," he says, a little smile growing at the corners of his mouth, as though he can't control it. "You love me."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand why you're focusing on that," you wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand. "It's true, I just don't get it."

"Because you make me happier than she ever did," he promises, crowding you up against the counter and motioning for you to jump up to sit on top of it after you can go no further. "I'm weird when she's around because she's my ex, sure, but not because I still want her. It... ended badly. It's a miracle we didn't pull the entire friend group into it, and I never wanted to make her look bad to them, so I'm always trying really hard to look, uh, normal around her. We're on better terms now, but I haven't wanted her in years, honey."

"She knew about what you were doing when I didn't," you mumble, feeling small in the stormy release of emotions. "And she knows so much about you I don't in general."

"We grew up together," Hajime reminds you. "It would have been one of the guys. I know I didn't tell her anything. You can check my call history, my texts."

You shake your head. "I believe you."

"Really?" He arches a brow, and you laugh and push gently at his shoulder.

"Yes, really."

"You know how long I had a crush on you before I did anything about it? I thought you weren't interested, and then you finally started being even more affectionate with me than you were with our other friends, and I took the chance."

"Rookie numbers," you preen under his gaze. "I liked you... pretty much as soon as I met you. But I suppressed it 'cause I didn't want to be a homewrecker."

"You're sweet," he chuckles. "I promise, you have nothing to worry about there. I'm never gonna wake up and not be grateful to see you drooling on my bed."

"You're the worst, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah," he looks at you fondly, swiping his thumbs under your lower lashes. "You love me, though."

"Oh," your lips part. "And the not calling in Japan?"

He scrunches his nose. "I was trying not to spoil anything. I wanted to, uh, discuss it with you first, but you should know my friends and family are all waiting to embarrass me if I have to turn everything around now."

"Okay? I'll consider your dignity, but I make no promises," you tease. He drops his head to your shoulder for a moment, taking a deep breath, and you wind a hand into his hair, petting him until he straightens.

"So, you know how I have that paid internship opportunity back home?" You nod, not wanting to be reminded. You'll do it for him, but... long distance sucks. "I went to their office and turned it down. I want to go through with my doctorate."

"Oh, that's huge!" You gasp. "That's incredible, I'm so happy for you!"

"So the part that has to do with you is, um," he says, "you're planning to stay here, right?"

"Yeah," you say, "my next step is like a twenty minute commute, thankfully."

"I want to finish my schooling in the States," he tells you, "and then after that, I want to go wherever you go."

"Hajime," you start, but he puts a shaking hand on your knee, and that shuts you up.

"I love you," he says seriously. "It's like I said, okay? You make me happier than anyone else. I know you're the one for me, if you'll have me. If not, I get—"

You grab his face and smash your lips into his, and if that doesn't get the message across? You don't know what will.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #hq!! x reader #iwaizumi x reader fluff #iwaizumi x reader angst #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader fluff #iwaizumi hajime x reader angst #iwaizumi x reader angst to fluff #haikyuu hurt/comfort

[rishiguro]

you don’t think that you have ever felt as much relief as you did when you finally stepped inside your home.

with a loud thud your bag fell to the floor, right before you somehow managed to stumble into your bedroom, falling face-first into the mattress. the weight of the day finally truly sank into your bones, making your entire body ache. all you wanted to do was close your eyes and fall asleep, forgetting the day even happened.

all had been too much today.

you barely managed to get yourself out of bed in the morning after a terrible night of (or lack of) sleep and you still don’t really know how you made it to your place of work, much less made it through the day in the first place. everything was loud and bright, you were running on caffeine only and everything seemed to go wrong today. your performance was questionable at best and you couldn’t help but overthink each one of your steps.

and if that wasn’t bad enough already, the whole day you were jittery until after a few hours you noticed just how much you were shaking and how fast your heart was actually racing.

and then all you wanted to do was cry.

SUNA meanwhile had absolutely no idea what was going on when he entered your home with the key you gave him a few months ago, mindlessly taking his shoes off and messily throwing them away.

he called out for you when he noticed your bag laying right by the door. when he didn’t hear you call back to him, he furrowed his eyebrows, making his way into various rooms of your place, trying to find you. he grew slightly worried when he didn’t see you in your kitchen, living room or in the hall, but a part of him figured you might be purposely hiding from him, trying to scare him.

with a smirk on his face he decided to play along, carrying himself with light footsteps over to your bedroom door and carefully watching for a sign that you might be waiting somewhere to jump out.

when he reached your door, his hand slowly moved to the handle, pressing it down gently. taking a peek inside, he leaned forward.

you hadn’t noticed the door opening a few centimeters, much less the head peeking through it, with your head still lying flat on your bed, pillows practically pressed against your eyes to avoid sound coming through as much as possible.

suna would find it endearing if he didn’t grow so worried seeing you like this.

pressing his lips into a thin line, he decided to carefully step inside, practically sneaking towards you.

“baby?” you jerked up startled, looking around with wide, slightly puffy eyes, before you actually noticed him sitting next to you.

“fuck,” you groaned, “don’t scare me like that” you let your head fall back into the mattress.

he chuckled as you scooted over and ultimately laid down next to you. “sorry” he opened his arms and you immediately cuddled into him, resting your head on his chest. “what happened?” he asked after a few seconds of silence.

you however only shook your head, hiding your face in the fabric of his sweatshirt. “don’t want to talk about it?” you shook your head again.

so in response, he only tightened his hold on you, bending his neck in an uncomfortable way to press a kiss on your temple. “that’s okay. we can talk later”

the two of you continued to lie there in silence, simply finding comfort in each other’s presence and warmth. you listened to his calm heartbeat with closed eyes and enjoyed how suna’s hand slid up and down your back.

“it’s alright. i got you,” he muttered softly, “i’m not letting you go”

you still felt bad. but laying in his arms, you felt a little better.

#₊❏❜ ⋮haikyuu #suna x reader #suna x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hq x reader #hq x you #suna rintarou x you #suna rinatro #suna imagines #hq suna #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hurt/comfort #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu suna #suna headcanons #suna rinatrou #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x you #suna fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #suna comfort #haikyuu comfort #suna hurt/comfort

[haezen]

how he apologizes [series]

sakusa kiyoomi 

genre: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff

word count: 3.5k

a/n: i’m currently sick  so i might just be writing a bunch cuz all of a sudden, my sickness has gotten rid of my writers block??? how does that happen ?? lol anyways,,,im not sure how i feel about this one, but i just wanted to post something. i hope u guys enjoy ^_^

reblogs and comments are much appreciated <3333

(p.s. the ending is silly so don’t take this one too seriously)

HOW SUNA AND MAKKI APOLOGIZE

masterlist

SAKUSA

He didn’t know what to say.

Kiyoomi knew that he fucked up when he saw you fighting back tears with the scrunch of your nose. His heart sank at the sight — knowing exactly what that nose scrunch means— but something in him wouldn’t let him utter an apology, an excuse, or anything. He felt like he was frozen, stuck in a loop, watching helplessly as you tried your hardest to not break down in front of him.

Why did he lash at you when you wrapped your arms around him, knowing he had a bad day? You were only trying to help. Why did he say all those hurtful things to you when you were just trying your hardest to love him? 

⋆͛♡⋆͛

Your boyfriend came home to you cooking his favorite meal. 

You knew that he had a rough day because Hinata texted you before Kiyoomi left practice. Hinata warned you that there was a ‘storm’ headed your way, and not even he could calm Kiyoomi down. Worried to receive a text from Kiyoomi’s (favorite) teammate, you jumped up from your spot on the couch and ran a hot bath for him. Then, you began preparing his favorite meal, hoping that he would find comfort in two of his favorite things.

To your disappointment, he did not find any comfort in your efforts. He came home and it was like he was a stonewall. You welcomed him home with a warm hug, to which he flinched. 

“Welcome home, Omi!” You smiled as he immediately dropped his bag on the floor and began undressing out of his outer garments. “Dinner should be done in about thirty minutes, and I even ran a bath for you because I know-”

“It’s like there’s never a moment of silence when you’re around.” He says while hurriedly untying his shoelaces. Kiyoomi feels his agitation growing by the second and he decides that all he wants is to change out of his sweaty clothes, take a shower, and go to sleep as soon as he can.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, shocked at his harshness and tone. He then trudged right past you, and without a word, he headed straight for the bedroom. 

As you watched his figure disappear in the darkness of your bedroom, you realized you were holding your breath. It was difficult to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, but you knew that Kiyoomi had his bad days. If it were you, you surely wouldn’t say such hurtful things to him; but somehow, you still felt inclined to cheer him up.

There was a big promotional game coming up soon and he’d been practicing almost nonstop. There were many nights that he came home late, but he still– he always managed to acknowledge you despite his exhaustion. But, this was an exception. He had never said something so hurtful to you before– let alone disrespect you by ignoring your affection.

Knowing your boyfriend and his moods, it was important that you chose your next words carefully. Kiyoomi’s tongue can be sharp, but he would never knowingly say such hurtful words to the person that he loves. You assured yourself this as you took a deep breath — preparing yourself to try again.

“As I was saying,” You huff as you stand in the doorway of the bedroom while he’s turning on the lamp on the nightstand. “I ran you a bath so you can relax before dinner’s ready.” 

He pulled his shirt up over his head, meeting your gaze from over his shoulder as he threw the material in the hamper. “Did you not hear me or was I not clear enough for you?” 

A moment of silence passes.

“Yeah. I heard you.” You respond, realizing that he wasn’t letting up. He continues to undress, sliding his sweatpants down his legs and stepping out of them. 

 “You don’t have to be so rude ‘Omi. I’m trying to make things easier for you.”

 “Make things easier for me?” He scoffs, uncharacteristically leaving his sweatpants on the floor as he closes the distance between the two of you. 

You take a deep breath at the proximity, suddenly growing uncomfortable with the intensity of the unfamiliar look in his dark eyes. You think, by the way his chest is heaving up and down, that he’s starting to get angry.

“When have you ever made it easier for me?” He asks with the tilt of his head, like he’s remembering a specific moment.  “Everything I’ve done–everything I’ve accomplished– I’ve done it on my own. So don’t ever say that you’re making it easier for me, when in reality, all you’ve ever done is weigh me down.”

You step back, trying to keep your emotions from bubbling over because you don’t want to say something that you’ll regret. That look in his eyes makes him seem like a stranger to you– this isn’t the Kiyoomi that you know. His words make you feel sick to your stomach and you start to feel your temper flare– but what keeps you from raising your voice is the realization that he hasn’t appreciated your efforts. To think that your efforts to support him and his dream– that all the times that you’ve stayed by his side to comfort him in his losses– have gone unnoticed and underappreciated makes you feel worthless. The overwhelming sadness that floods you is almost too much to bear– much more intense than the feeling of anger from your boyfriend spewing such hurtful words.

“All this time, you’ve only seen me as a burden?” You choke out, instantly covering your mouth once you realize how emotional you were getting.

“That’s not what I meant.” He says dryly. 

“We both know that’s what you were trying to say, Sakusa.” You sourly point out as you back out of the doorway, retreating to the kitchen. 

To hear his last name from your mouth brings him back to reality. Did he really just say that? He blinks rapidly, like he’s starting to process what he’s said.

He can’t help the despairing sigh that leaves his mouth.  He follows behind you, only in his boxers and socks, and he watches as you start putting the dishes in the sink with a heavy hand– the ones that you were using to make dinner for him. “I’m starting to think that this-” You gesture between the two of you,  “has been a waste of my time.”

Kiyoomi cringes inwardly at your words, heat pricking at his cheeks and the back of his neck from embarrassment. He’s strangely silent because he’s afraid that he might make this worse– that he’ll end up hurting you even more than he already has. 

 You spare a glance to see him standing stiffly by the entryway but you don’t want to look at him a second longer. There’s no helping how frantically you’re moving around the kitchen because as much as you want to scream at him for hurting your feelings, you would hate yourself for stooping to his level. In an attempt to distract yourself from crying, you turn on the faucet and begin to wash the dishes.  

Kiyoomi finds himself fidgeting like he used to as a child– pulling the skin hanging from his cuticles– because he’s not sure how to process what you’re saying. A waste of time? Has he wasted your time? For you to say something so drastic with nothing to follow it up, he’s sure that you’re trying your hardest to keep your emotions at bay. He knows how his words have affected you, but yet, he still stands there and watches as you clean up any evidence of your efforts to cheer him up.

Now, Kiyoomi’s internally screaming at himself to apologize; he’s screaming at himself to just do anything. But he can’t– the thought of you finally calling it quits because he couldn’t just suck up the fact that he had a bad day is making him panic.

“You promised me that you’d try.” You whisper in defeat, teary eyes focused on the dishes that you’ve thrown in the sink–food all over the countertops. “You promised that you wouldn’t give up and push me away anymore.”

It’s true. He did promise you that. So why does he find himself doing it again?

Maybe it’s because Kiyoomi truly believes that he’s impossible to love.  

In all of his years, there’s only been a handful of people who’ve been there for him. And there’s been even fewer of them that he can recall by name that’ve shown up for him — to his games —and truly shown him kindness and support. Whether or not he reciprocates that kindness is debatable (Kiyoomi has a difficult time deciding if going out of his way is worth it) but still, he hates it: kindness. 

He hates kind people and people who brighten up the room when they walk in. He feels uncomfortable around people who shower him with compliments because he’s not sure how to accept them. He turns his nose up at people who smile at him, even if they haven’t known him for long, because he can’t decipher if it’s genuine. Maybe he’s just pessimistic (he likes to describe himself as a realist) but, if Kiyoomi is going to be friends with someone, he needs to know that they’re real — that their intentions are pure. There have been too many instances where people have tried to befriend him because of his family’s wealth, his talent in volleyball, or his good looks.  And he loathes it — the fact that people see him as a stepping stone for their own lives— that all he’s worth is being a connection in their own careers. Is that all he’s good for? 

So, of course Kiyoomi’s guarded. He’s been hurt and betrayed over and over again — thrown away once they’re done using him. Naturally, he’s become cold and distant; sometimes he’s even negligent and cruel. But if it keeps people away, then he’s fine on his own. He’s almost convinced that it’s better that way – so that there’s no one who can disappoint him. Maybe that’s the reason why he’s the way he is: why he’s so hard to love.

The real problem is that Kiyoomi doesn’t know how to accept the fact that it’s simply human nature to want to be loved— that it’s human nature to want to love another person. Is it that hard to accept that he’s worthy of love? Yes. He’s not sure he’ll ever believe that he’s worthy of your love. It completely blows him away when he’s shown such unconditional love and care, that his first instinct is to push them away. He believes that he’s saving them the trouble of dealing with someone who refuses to be loved—that he’s saving you from himself. You deserve better, he thinks.

But you’re just as stubborn as he is. 

You fight back every time and refuse to let him push you away. When he starts to distance himself, you pull him right back in. 

He remembers that one time when he stayed behind at practice until midnight for an entire week because he was trying to deny the fact that he was in love with you. You were tired of how avoidant he’d become, and decided to show up to the gymnasium. He knew immediately how unhappy you were with him because you forgot to change your shoes at the door. The team was practicing their jump serves until you (rudely) disrupted practice. You yelled out — in front of his coach and all of his teammates—that he better grab his things because it was ‘past time to go home.’ No one dared to utter a word, scared that they’d be the next victim. Even Atsumu stayed silent, watching the situation unfold in front of his eyes. Kiyoomi grumbled under his breath about how bossy you were, but he listened nonetheless. When you drove back in silence, Kiyoomi was surprised about how grateful he felt. It was this moment that he finally understood what it meant to be seen and genuinely cared for. He just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that you still stuck with him despite how much he resisted. And he loves that about you.

You cause him so much inner turmoil, but deep down, Kiyoomi knows that you’re good for him— that you’re the light he has always needed in his life.

So… he knows that he needs to make it up to you. He knows that you’re finally at your breaking point and that your patience is wearing dangerously thin. 

He’s conflicted though. The familiarity of this situation makes him want to distance himself again–to hide and only crawl out of the hole that he burrows himself in when he has to; because sadly, this always happens to Kiyoomi– he pushes the ones that he’s begun to love away until they finally give up. The ones who don’t give up are those who can’t avoid him–like his cousin Komori and his teammates. But you’re different. You’ve chosen to stick it through all this time.

How can he continue to push you away and risk letting you go? 

He decides that he can’t—he just can’t let you go.

Because you’ve chosen to love him despite all his flaws.

You’re worth him giving his all– you’re worth the challenge of him conquering his fear of abandonment. You’re worth all his effort, he decides definitively at this moment. 

He approaches you cautiously, wrapping his arms around your middle as he rests his head on your shoulder. You stiffen at his unexpected touch and you even feel indifferent to his embrace. Before this fight, you would’ve melted at the gesture because you know how he feels about physical touch. But the reality is that you’re still incredibly hurt and angry from all the things he’s said, whether he meant them or not.

“Please don’t touch me right now.” You say quietly.

Your boyfriend knows that you don’t like to repeat yourself, so he listens. He takes a step back, letting go of you as he starts to understand how badly he hurt you. 

“I know I can’t take back what I said.” He begins uneasily, noticing that you’ve stopped what you were doing.

 “I’m-” He pauses for a second, “I’m sorry.”

You stay silent, mind racing as you think of ways to get out of the apartment–to escape so you can clear your head. There are plenty of places you could go at this time: friends you could call and count on to let you stay the night at their house. It breaks your heart to think that it’s come to this– to you avoiding the person you love, but Kiyoomi’s refusal to keep his promise has pushed you to such lengths.

When you turn around and lean against the sink for support, you are surprised to see the gloomy look on Kiyoomi’s face. You hope that he’s not just putting on an act so you’ll forgive him– but you know better than to assume he’d do such a thing. He’s never been one for dramatics.

“I don’t know why I said those things.” He averts his gaze away from you, nervous to be apologizing because he’s never done it before. “I don’t believe it– that you’re a burden or a distraction. It’s not true.”

“Then why did you say it? Because you had a bad day? That’s not a good enough reason, Sakusa.”

“I know.”

“You don’t say shit that you can’t take back. It’s not fair for the other person–for me– to be the object that you take your frustrations out on. I’m a person, y’know?” You hear your voice wavering as you continue on; Sakusa giving you his full attention, unlike before. 

“It’s not fair, Sakusa. It’s not fair that you push me away when I just want you to be happy. You do this to yourself.” 

When he sees that you’re dangerously close to breaking out into a sob, he wants to reach out. He wants to wrap you in his arms and hold you close; because the truth is, he’s terrified of losing you and the possibility of that happening has skyrocketed. And it’s all his fault. 

The tears finally fall and as Sakusa hesitates on whether or not to comfort you, you cover your face with your hands.

He’s afraid. He doesn’t want to disrespect the boundaries you’ve already laid out– you told him not to touch you and he doesn’t know any other way to comfort you. Truly, he feels lost as he watches the person he loves most in the world fall apart. 

“I just need some space.”

And he gives you what you ask for.

You left the apartment without another word and he’s not sure where you went. Again, he’s too afraid to ask, worrying that he’ll make things worse. He watched as you hurriedly packed an overnight bag, and he watched as you walked out, slamming the door shut. 

When he remembers that he’s only in his boxers and socks, he feels even more pathetic. Unfortunately, Kiyoomi took too long, standing in the spot that he was in as he watched you leave. He stood there for so long, replaying the fight in his head, that he let the bathwater go cold; but he still took the bath anyway because it was you who prepared it for him. He scrubbed at his skin until it was raw–tears streaming down his cheeks because he was so frustrated with himself. 

How could he let it get to this point?

⋆͛♡⋆͛

You ended up going to a friend’s house. They listened to you as you told them what happened, lending you a shoulder to cry on. The both of you ate ice cream and watched movies until you passed out on their couch. Because you cried your heart out to your friend, you were exhausted when you finally fell asleep. When you woke up the next day, it was already noon. Your friend was in the kitchen, trying to cook some breakfast for the both of you as quietly as they could without waking you up.

There were multiple things that you were grateful for: you felt relieved to have a friend that you could feel comfortable enough to talk about your relationship problems with– as well as have somebody that you count on when you needed help. You were also grateful to have some time away from Kiyoomi to think about what happened and what you’ll say when you see him again. 

By now, your emotions felt more manageable. There wasn’t the urge to scream and cry, even though you managed to hold yourself back from doing so last night, you felt as though you could talk to Kiyoomi with a clear head.

Your friend fed you and gave you some good advice–the fact that you knew you needed space was a good start. After breakfast and a quick shower, they encouraged you to go back to your apartment and talk with Kiyoomi to set things straight. 

⋆͛♡⋆͛

Kiyoomi was sitting in the living room when he heard you unlocking the front door. His head immediately whipped up when you walked in and he thinks you’re scared to meet his gaze– your head’s ducked down as you slip your shoes off.

“You’re home.” He states dumbly.

“Yeah,” You laugh dryly. “I live here, don’t I?”

“I thought that you might never come back.” 

You don’t know what to say to that because you did consider never seeing him again after what he said. He sat up on the edge of the couch, watching as you placed your keys on the kitchen countertop.

“(Name)...” He calls out, “I’m so sorry.” 

You spare him a glance as you shrug off your jacket, hanging it on the back of the barstool. “If you really mean it, then you’ll get on your knees.” You say jokingly, walking into the living room to sit on the loveseat that’s diagonal from where he’s sitting on the couch.

He takes you seriously, sliding off the edge of the couch to get on his knees. You can’t hold back the laugh that bubbles up from your throat, stunned that he would do something so degrading– you swear that this is a sight that you’ll never forget; to see a man like Kiyoomi down on his knees begging for forgiveness is a shocking sight.

“I wasn’t being serious!” You laugh even louder at the scowl that graces his features upon realizing you were kidding.

But he’s persistent in earning your forgiveness– it's the most important thing to him right now. If begging on his knees is what it takes for you to forgive him, he’ll do it for as long as he can so that you’ll stay with him. It doesn’t even hurt his pride, because he already has decided that you’re worth looking foolish for.

He takes your hands in his own, and before apologizing, he looks at your shoes by the door. He never wants the traces of you absent from the apartment ever again.

“Please forgive me.” 

Is all he can say, because what else is there to say? He’s already on his knees.

“You’re only forgiven if I can take a picture of this.” You cackle, reaching for your phone in the back pocket of your jeans.

He groans, annoyed. 

But he lets you, because there’s nothing scarier in the world than the thought of losing you.

A/N: SORRY THE ENDING IS SO SILLY BUT THE THOUGHT POPPED IN MY HEAD AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS!!!! :D 

but fr.... imagine kiyoomi begging on his knees...... omg

if there are any typos just lmk cuz i barely even checked for them. I HOPE U ENJOYED :D

#haezen writes! #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa angst #sakusa fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu angst to fluff #haikyuu hurt/comfort #haikyuu!! angst #hq hurt/comfort

[hexadonis]

garbage dump tee design~ gonna test print them this week stay tuned

#my art #screen printing #pray for me printing these the aa ones made my head hurt #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu fanart #hq fanart #kagehina #kuroken #nekoma #karasuno #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #kozume kenma #kuroo tetsurou

[yanderefics-recs]

Yandere/Dark! Cheaters Recs

for the readers who loves angst, groveling, and some spice like me <3

as of December 2023

The Unsaid Vow by @laughing-with-god (patreon/tumblr) (ongoing)

Remarks: you are married to Jungkook and you have a kid together. You suspect him of cheating however and when you try to leave he gets triggered

A Bird In A Gilded Cage by JUNMAK0 (ao3) (finished)

Remarks: your soulmate, Ushijima, has trust issues due to your past life and was initially not excited to meet you. Still, you grow to be in love but trouble ensues. (just when you think ushijima is healing he swerves around to the other side)

Yandere!Cheater hcs by @hyerinrose

brief sypnosis: a fun oc by hyeinrose

Hoax by @moonlitinks (tumblr) (ongoing)

Remarks: you're in an arranged marriage with ari levinson who has some prejudice about you and is repulsed by you (this one gets pretty dark in the beginning but lightens up as it progresses)

When you found out they cheated on you (hyung line) and (maknae line) by @wildestdreamsblog

Remarks: title is pretty self explanatory

When you tried to move on from them (hyung line) and (maknae line) by @wildestdreamsblog

brief sypnosis: a continuation of "when you found out they cheated on you" (groveling ensues 😈)

Yandere!Hero x Reincarnated!Reader by @bunny-yan

Remarks: the hero and reader are childhood lovers but it's not a cute story wherein they get to be together after the hero's job. The angst reoccurs in lifetimes (the concept of this one is pretty unique so i rlly recommend giving it a read :>)

Where did you go?, pt 2 by @ishouldbeinh0rnyjail

Remarks: gojo satoru got caught cheating by you and went insane trying to get you back (this one was delicious)

Fuckboy! Maknae line trying to convince you to stay by @yandere-society

Remarks: fun drabble! these men are toxic and assholes but it's kinda hot and they say they love you so... 😝

Man In The Mirror, pt 2 by Momo-chan (Quotev)

Remarks: another very unique concept! It's about you being in a loveless arranged marriage but you meet another you in a mirror that leads to a parallel universe

Superbia by alissabex (wattpad) (oneshot)

Remarks: good lord this one is memorable! Every now and then i come back to that oneshot. It's pretty long too so pretty satisfying!

Til Death Do Us Part by ASumOfWords (ao3) (oneshot)

Remarks: THIS ONE HITS EVERY FUCKING SPOT IM NOT KIDDING!!! I was in a particularly darker mood for this one sooooo yeah. Dark!Aemond hides his grief of losing his wife (aka you leaving his ass) underneath his anger. Lowkey wish there'd be more of his feelings in the piece but the author does pretty well with leaving it to the imagination

#yandere cheaters #yandere #soulmate au #angst #hurt/comfort #yandere fics #dark fics #dark #dark fic #ari levinson #jungkook #ot7 #bts #haikyuu #x reader #reader insert #fic recs #dark fic recs

[byunbqbes]

HQ BOYS WHEN YOU CRY

tw: some crying. nothing too sad tho

♡ suna. laces his fingers with yours and carries you to the bed when you begin to cry a little harder. lies down beside you and runs his long, slender fingers through your hair as he lets you cry into his chest. when you begin to feel better, suna flashes you a rare, uncharacteristic smile and asks, "do you wanna talk about it?"

♡ oikawa. freezes and the smirk on his face immediately drops. did he cross a line while teasing you just now? he makes his way towards you, apologies spilling from his lips and a box of tissues on his hands as he offers them to you. when you reject the tissues and hug his waist instead, he feels something stirring in his stomach as he quickly wraps his strong arms around you, pulling you into his lap. as he coos soft little nothings in your ear, oikawa can't help but wonder what it would be like for you to finally be his, and for him to comfort you for an entire lifetime.

♡ ushijima. blinks slowly and unsurely as he gazes at your slumped figure, broken sobs threatening to overtake you. he walks up to you and takes a deep breath before enveloping you in his large, warm arms. he pats your back a little awkardly as you lean closer, burying your face into his neck and wetting his collar in the process. when your tears stop, you realise he's still rubbing soothing circles on your back, and you smile to yourself because you know ushijima will always have your back and give you a shoulder to cry on.

♡ bokuto. his hair droops down and the light in his sparkly eyes quickly diminishes. he pouts and cups your face delicately, wiping away the tears that spill out of your eyes. he tells you his favourite bedtime story that his grandmother used to read to him, and his slow, soothing words somehow calm you down. when your eyes are no longer wet, bokuto finally perks up and rubs your noses together while he gives you the biggest smile you've ever seen.

♡ kenma. feels a pang in his chest when you fall into his lap in a dishelved heap. he hums very softly, playing with the ends of your hair whilst giving you tiny smiles occasionally. when your sobs become soft sniffles, he makes you your favourite hot chocolate and gently places it in the palms of your hands as he offers, "wanna play legend of zelda together?"

#FUCK I ACCIDENTALLY REFRESHED MY PAGE AND DELETED EVERYTHING #let me know if there are typos lol #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fic #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu fanfiction #hq fluff #hq angst #hq smau #hq hurt/comfort #haikyuu hurt/comfort #hq x reader #hq drabbles #hq scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #kenma kuzome #kozume kenma #ushijima wakatoshi #oikawa tooru #bokuto kōtarō #suna imagines #suna rintarō #hq suna

[ushisrever]

Lost Royals ch. 2

What does it take to be in your arms? What does it take to finally deem myself worthy of someone as great as my beloved wife - the prophesied fae?

Pair : Oikawa Tooru x fm!reader

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

Summary: Oikawa Tooru (a fae) is set to have an arranged marriage to the high royal princess fae (reader). Though, he has no idea why the high royal princess chose him. Therefore, he does everything he can to be noticeable or acceptable or at the same level as the princess’s great achievements. The only thing is the high royal princess who is one of the three prophesied faes to defeat the dark lord is too busy with her own duties to notice her husband’s efforts.

A/n: It’s been awhile since I continued this. I really hope I get to finish this as soon as possible. 

MASTERLST

"Prince Oikawa!" Tooru hears a familiar voice among the ground in the grand ball where nobles are waiting to enter the great dome for the demonstration.  

As this is a special and formal event hosted by the three kingdoms, the demonstration is being held in the Ancient Mountain.  A palace of sorts placed inside a big mountain.  It was then used as a place for battle tournaments between kingdoms.  It was probably only now when it was used as a place of demonstration.  

Tooru turns to the voice to find a fae with blonde hair and fine black and gold formal military uniform.  

"Prince Miya," Tooru puts on a polite smile.  

"It's been awhile since we met," Atsumu Moya gives Tooru a light pat on the arm.

"I believe two months is not that long," Tooru chuckles.  

Yes.  Two months.  The last time they met was when they were called by the king to finally  give their offering according to the said task.

"Don't be such a killjoy, Prince Oikawa. So, how's the feeling of being engaged to the mysterious high royal princess?" Atsumu doesn't look like he's at a bitter ending with Tooru after finding out who won the task.  It's a pity to lose, but he sure does know that being a high royal prince will sure be quite a pain in the ass.

"Delighted, of course," Tooru said.

Atsumu laughs. "You lucky guy being chosen by the princess herself,"

"The princess?" For the whole time, Tooru assumed that it was the king who chose.  Afterall, that is always the case with these kinds of marriages.  

"Yeah.  I heard rumors that it was the princess who set up the whole thing and she gets the final word as to who she wishes to choose. So I guess you caught her attention," Atsumu explained.  

With that, it even just made Tooru more nervous.  He believes there's not much to see through what he just offered to them according to task.  He can't help but think that the princess might end up more disappointed if he did not reach her expectations.  He also does not know what kind of expectations the princess has?  Does she want a person who will not mind her business? Someone who is romantic?  

"I see," Tooru only managed to answer after all those thoughts.

Atsumu notices the little nervousness. "You'll be fine, Prince Oikawa.  Whatever you are thinking, everything will be much better once we meet them.  The three prophesied faes,"

Hopefully…everything will be better.  

Every fae has expectations of what they'll see.  Finally, the doors open to the dome for demonstration.  Everyone awaits to finally see what they've been waiting for twenty years.

Let the demonstration begin.

The whole of faeland will finally be blessed with the presence of the three great faes.  The dome slowly being filled ny faes.  On one side the three great high kings and queens reside on their own thrones.  

King Zadkiel of the Domhnall Kingdom sits on a throne placed in the middle.  King Gavril and Queen Adeena Vaughan of the Aglovale Kingdom settle on the thrones to the right of King Zadkiel.  Then King Cillin and Queen Nascha Harcoirt of Abingora Kingdom settled on the other side.  

It has probably been a century since the last great gathering among the three kingdoms.  So, it's honestly been awhile since the three great kings and queens have seen each other.  However, as much as everyone is anticipating the demonstration of the great high royal prince and princesses, one of those prophesied faes are slowly not in its best shape.  

Amara.

Amara has been isolating herself inside a waiting room alone.  In everyone's knowledge, she's simply in her drawing room to calm her nerves, but that's easier said than done.  The more she tries to calm her nerves, the more she could feel that pinching pain.  Her eyes fixated on the fire and her flat bracelets on her wrists continue to tighten as some sort of dark liquid sips out.  She closes her eyes, but it doesn't take long before she hears someone knock.  The door opens.

"Your royal highness, it's time," she hears the General who she distinguished to have grey short hair spoke.  General Miya.

She opens her eyes and stands from the couch.  She doesn't say anything and simply walks past him and out to the hallway.  

The silence is the only comfort Amara has.  However, as she walks down the hallway, the more she hears the crowd.  Then, it dies down as she hears the echo of her father's voice raise.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen," she hears her father.  The crowd's voices die down.  At that, all she could hear was her own beating heart and her own breathing.  Everything sounds echoey and hollow.  She knows her father is making a big announcement, but she suddenly feels like she's in a bubble.  Everything is mumbled.  

She still walks straight.  On the outside, she simply looks like an intimidating princess as she walks by the guards.  She looks like someone guards cannot mess with.  She ignores them.  

Her fists clenched and suddenly she felt everything stopped even if her body was moving.  

Kill.

She hears a whisper.  She tries to ignore it.

Kill….kill.

She takes a deep breath.  As she turns a corner she is met with the entrance to the demonstration field of the arena.  A man in leather battle clothings stands near the entrance and a woman with highlights of silver hair and simple dress-leather battle clothing stands before her.

"You good?" The man which she could recognize as Bokuto ,one of the prophesied faes,  said.

"Yeah," Amara answered.  

"Can't believe we are finally doing this," the silver haired woman, Faelyn, said.

"The battle doesn't end here," Bokuto bluntly said.  

"I know, but it is a beginning to show our hard work," Faelyn walks closer to the entrance.  

Amara takes a deep breath, trying to suppress that urge forming inside of her.  Though, she blinks and tries to hear the words of her father.

"...and now let us not wait anymore.  First of all, the high royal princess of Aglovale Kingdom…Faelyn Vaughan!," Faelyn fixes his dress once more and glances back at Bokuto and Amara.  At that, she steps outside.  

The crowd seems to be holding their breath as Faelyn walks in the middle of the arena.  She stands in the middle and turns to the likes of kings and queens.  She smiles at her parents and they did too.

“Alright, let’s begin,” she mumbles to herself.  At that, she crouches down and kneels down until her hands land on the floor. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.  The moment she exhales, she opens her eyes and her fingers deep down the sandy floor.  Immediately, big lines of trees rise from the ground up.

The ground grumbles as these trees cut through from the ground.  Its height reaches up to the ceiling which is farther up from the audience.  The audience gasps and an eerie silence sinks in.  She walks through the trunks of trees. Then, in that eerie silence, an arrow is shot from afar.  Without turning, the arrow was stopped or rather grabbed by a hanging vine. She only turns with a smile when the moving vine lets go of the arrow. She looks up to find a soldier who was responsible for the shot arrow. The soldier simply bows in respect.

“Now, let us all turn to the only royal prince of the Abingora Kingdom. Bokuto Eldar Harcourt,” one of the king’s announced.

On that cue, a pool of dark shadow crawls across the arena’s ground.  Bokuto walks out from the arch entrance.  The lights become dimmer and the place becomes darker.  A swift sound cuts through the silence.  Faelyn turns around as she catches a glimpse of some kind of wolf-like figure from within the trees.  She pulls her knife and her eyes flow in crystal green. She breathes slowly and without any warning she quickly swifts around.  Her dagger hitting against a dark shadow wolf. The wolf figure disappears.  She walks forward and finally she is met with Bokuto’s dagger blow.   She dodges to the side and grabs Bokuto’s arm then hits down his wrist making him let go of the dagger.

Bokuto however seems to disperse into a shadow. Faelyn looks around.  A twig snaps and she turns. The moment she did, she found a fist about to hit her face.  She dodges once more.  

“No more surprises, Bokuto,” Faelyn chuckles. She lunges forward and they get into some hand-to-hand combat.  

Everyone in the audience is focused on the battle that none are exactly concerned with when the last royal fae will be appearing.  Well, except for the guards near Amara. They have been sensing for a while that there is something wrong. Amara looks like she’s just standing in front of the entry to the arena.  Though, they’ve been noticing the dark aura wrapping around her.  A dripping sort of shadow slips from her bracelets which they know the purpose of the bracelets are.

Amara doesn’t notice anymore the worried looks on the guards’ faces.  She’s more focused on trying to control herself. She takes a deep breath and clenches her fists tighter.

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

No.

She can feel herself slipping away.  The pain sinking in and all she wants is to release…to kill.

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. KILL!

Everyone doesn’t hear what she hears, but one person senses what might be about to commence.  From near the thrones of the kings and queens stands Ukai, Amara and the two other royal fae’s mentor.  Ukai senses something is wrong.  His eyes pull away from the current demonstration as he pulls out a crystal clear gem.  His eyes widened as the crystal gem showed hints of dark shadows in it. An indicator that something is very wrong. He immediately runs down to where Amara is.

One of the guards near Amara takes up the courage to walk closer to the princess. “Your royal highness, is there something wrong? Are you alright?” the guard asked.

Amara’s eyes are closed.  She could only hear muffled words as something seemed to wrap around her, isolating and imprisoning her own will.  An uncomfortable silence sinks in. The guards keep glancing at each other. Without a warning, Amara opens his eyes and it’s pure black. The guard who just asked her backs down.

Amara pays them no mind as she finally enters the arena. “Your royal highness!” The guard tries to call out, but she doesn’t hear them at all. At that moment only Ukai managed to arrive at where Amara is supposed to be.

“Master Ukai,” One of the guards couldn’t even explain out of fear, but Ukai already knows the situation.

“Tell them to put the barrier up NOW!” Ukai orders.  One of the guards immediately runs up to deliver the order.

Due to the dimmed lights, no one even noticed Amara coming up to the two who were fighting.  Her eyes are pure black.  Her fists are unclenched and golden glowing strings float around her. It is only that time that Faelyn caught a glimpse of Amara.  Faelyn pulls back from Bokuto. Bokuto on the other hand turns to where Faelyn is looking.

“Amara?” Faelyn said with worry. Amara doesn’t respond and immediately they know what is happening.  It’s now two against one.

“Amara, snap out of it.  Listen to my voice,” Bokuto tries to talk to her. Guards with each of them holding the staff surround the arena on the upper level. They put the staff in front of them and in every tap against the ground the staff seems to turn on and eventually an invisible sort of shield covers the battle area - which is away from the audiences.

“Calm down, Amara,” Bokuto said once more.

Amara immediately stops from her tracks. She tilts her head to the side like a predator figuring out a prey in front of him.  Her hands open wide and immediately close. A strong force spreads around which causes the branches to crack in the middle.  Bokuto and Faelyn almost stumbles back if not because of the vines that held them still.

Faelyn is released from the vines and immediately comes close to Amara and swings her leg up to take a hit. Amara dodges. Faelyn kept blowing hits, but she knew that it won’t stop calming Amara down. One hit. Two hits. Three hits.

The last one had Faelyn flying back and landing hard on the ground.  Faelyn immediately turns to Bokuto. Bokuto nods his head as if it’s a cue.  She then stands up and puts her hands on the ground.  Branches crawl up to Amara and create a dome around her.  Bokuto walks forward with his hands opening and closing.  The ground begins to grumble, but he doesn’t budge at all. Everyone else seems to think this is a part of a demonstration, but the king himself seems to know what is truly happening.  

The ground grumbles once more.  The branches turn into bits as an invisible force explodes from Amara.  The golden strings glow brighter around her.  She walks forward and Bokuto does too to the point that the distance between them grows smaller and smaller until Amara lunges forward.  She swings a fist and Bokuto does as well.

An invisible explosion comes from the both of them like a contained force.  The silence falls on them once more as everything settles in. Bokuto stopped Amara’s punch with his own hand. Both of them stay still.

“Calm…down,” Bokuto doesn’t let go of Amara. “Listen to my voice,”

Amara breathes in. Bokuto notices a hint of the black color covering Amara’s eyes that seems to fade away. Therefore, he continues.

“If you do calm down…I’ll give you my cupcakes,” Bokuto gritted his teeth and his eyes glowing a hint of crystal blue.

Amara doesn’t talk for a minute, but her eyes slowly turn to normal.  Bokuto loosened his grip on her fist.  A small smile appears on Amara’s lips.

“The chocolate ones?” Amara lightly said. Bokuto sighs in relief. The whole place goes back to normal. The light came back which finally gave the audience a proper look at the three prophesied faes.

King Zadkiel , Amara’s father, stands up from his throne with a proud look on his face despite the fact knowing as to what just happened.

“And lastly, my own daughter… Amara Cleremont,” Everyone draws their eyes on Amara. She in return looks at her father.

“I give you…the three prophesied faes,” he added .  The audience gives a loud cheer. Amara straightens her back and the three of them stand side by side with each other.

It’s a spectacular demonstration as almost everyone thought, but there is Oikawa Tooru in his own special seat for his own court trying to process what just happened.  As Tooru tries to clap as well, one information is getting in his head.

He’s marrying a very powerful fae.

#tahonet #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #Oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x you #series #haikyuu #haikyuu suggestive #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hurt #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu oc

[lilacveiledsea]

CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS

Y/n L/n - 23-24 year old female, she just moved back to Japan, she’s a very quiet and shy person when she first meets people, so if you end up getting more than a smile from her the first few times you interact you’re lucky because she likes you.

Osamu Miya- 23years old, ceo and co owner of large company called Divitiae Co. whose main office is in Japan, works with his friends and twin brother, has to much money and time on his hands.

Atsumu Miya- 23years old, co owner of Divitiae Co. , only works part time there though, because he doesn’t like the business aspect of all of it.

Suna Rintaro- 23years old, one of the higher ups, has his own sub section of the company due to Atsumu not wanting to deal with so much. Starts the bet between all the friends.

Kita Shinsuke- 24-25ishyears old, a business partner that works closely with not only Divitiae co. but also the restaurant. Is the only one who knew Y/n before she moved away due to being childhood friends

Aran Ojiro- 24-25ishyears old, higher up and also head of security for the company

Matteo Reeve- 23years old, Y/ns toxic ex, will be mentioned a few times, and may show up later on

Additional Characters-

Sakusa Kyoomi

Kuroo Tetsuro

Taglist- open- form here

@millenialfanfictionaddiction @indaybella99

#written by mars #miya osamu x reader #haikyuu x you #miya osamu #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x y/n #osamu #sakusa #haikyuu hurt

[kikiyoomis]

"what do even you like about me?"

sakusa is taken aback from your sudden question. the two of you were laying on bed, individually scrolling through your respective phones just before bed. there was nothing during the day that would've suggested your change in mood.

sakusa shuts his phone off and places it on the nightstand beside him before pulling you into his embrace.

"like? baby i'm so in love with you that there's nothing that i only 'like' about you," sakusa says while he buries his face into your neck.

"yea but... i'm not even that... special. i'm not super pretty or talented or smart or-" you say before the words are caught in your throat and tears starts to form.

"i feel like i just got lucky. like... why would you settle for someone like me?" you whisper.

you've had these thoughts for a while. before they only came up when you were going through a rough time with your self-confidence but recently, with sakusa's booming popularity as a highly anticipated rookie in the v league, what was left of your confidence completely shattered.

you were happy for him of course. you've been rooting for him ever since he started getting offers to play various division 1 teams. but now that your boyfriend was placed into the spotlight, you could also see all of the people who could easily take your spot as his lover. after all he had talented volleyball players, models, actors, idols and so many high status celebrities talking about him. surely he would find someone better than you who, in comparison to him, has amounted to virtually nothing.

"who said that?" sakusa asked concerned written all over his face. he sits up and pulls you into his embrace but you turn away from him.

"nobody..." you trail off, not wanting to admit that the person who put these ideas into your head was in fact yourself.

"please tell me what's going on. it can't be nobody putting those useless thoughts into your head," sakusa says soothingly as he twirls your hair around his finger gently.

"its just that... "you start but you cut yourself off. "it's nothing."

"it's not nothing. not if it has you this sad," sakusa says and you feel compelled to cry your heart out to him. to tell him about all of your worries and doubts. but what if it burdens him? he already has enough on his plate. the more you thought about it however, the less you could keep it in.

"i can't figure out why you would love someone like me. aren't i just bringing you down? sooner or later you'll find someone you love more and you won't even spare me a glance when leave. and every time i think about you leaving me i get so scared but i can't even be mad about it because if i were you i would leave me too," you finally say, tears falling down your cheeks as you finally verbalized the thoughts you held for years.

"i would never leave you. never in any lifetime of mine that i would leave you," sakusa says, trying to soothe you but your crying doesn't stop.

"i should've just stayed quiet and enjoyed my time as your s/o while it lasts. i shouldn't be this upset over the fact that you'll leave me because it's fated to happen."

sakusa pulls you into a tight embrace and as much as you want to push away, you give into his hug. he's whispering something but you can't make out what he's saying over your uneven breaths.

"y/n, i love everything about you. and i mean it. nobody, for the entirety of our relationship and before, ever came close." he brings his hands to you face and wipes your tears away with his thumb.

"but-"

"no buts."

after a few moments of silence, sakusa speaks up again.

"you know... the day you asked me out... i was going to confess to you the next day. i was so surprised, i had everything prepared and you come out of nowhere telling me that you liked me," sakusa says.

"but i was so happy you know? happier than winning the collegiate mvp. i mean for years i just had to silently deal with my feelings and who would've known that the person of my dreams is here in my arms. god, i don't even know where to start. i just... my feelings for you goes beyond love. i can't even form into words how hard my heart beats for you."

sakusa always had a way with words whenever the subject came to you. which is why you could never beat him in an argument no matter how ridiculous.

he leans in to you and places a soft kiss on your tear stained cheek. then he places another, following the trail before reaching your lips. he presses the kiss there a little longer than the gentle pecks he left on your cheeks.

you tilt your head slightly, letting your lips lock with his. you stay like that until one of you broke for air. you're greeted with sakusa's smiling face. a smile where it reaches his eyes and he's looking at you with such fondness you felt your heart skip a beat like it was the first time you had laid eyes on him.

"don't worry, i'll love you enough for the both of us. nobody will come between us, not even the stupid voices in your head." and just give me a couple weeks my love. a couple more weeks i'll prove to you how i love you by putting a ring on your finger.

#haikyu #haikyuu #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa #sakusa fluff #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu sakusa kiyoomi #msby sakusa #sakusa hurt/comfort

[emmyrosee]

you asked for angst and I hate angst but imma give you some bc I love you.

It is widely accepted that the Miya twins dad is not in the picture. Mama Miya is a single mom and is worshipped by her twin boys. They always prioritize taking care of her bc "she's got no one else but us". Which is great, its one of the reason why you feel in love with your man. But it becomes a hindrance when he starts missing out on things important to you. Esp when their mom didn't even need them there at that moment.

Could work for either Osamu or Atsumu.

I hate my brain.

LIT RALLY HAD A PIECE SIMILAR TO THIS IN THE WORKS BUT I GOT TOO SCARED TO POST IT ABDBEJSBEEI SO THIS IS NOW MY OUTLET 😯🫶🏻

—-

The moon is high in the sky when Osamu finally comes home, your hands buried in the sink as you wash dishes that have been sitting there far too long.

You’d asked osamu to do it, but he hasn’t even been home to look at them. A phone call from his mother took him straight from work to her house almost two hours away, leaving you to your own thoughts and feelings.

You adored Ms. Miya. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was your feeling of neglect brewing in your chest, with each time he leaves you with no regard for your needs.

“Hey Angel,” he hums as he finally crosses over the threshold, toeing off his shoes and tossing his keys on the hook. He says nothing when you merely grunt back, but he does make his way over for a kiss.

You return his kiss, despite your own desires to not, you just wanted to be close to him again, feel his hands cradling your body and relight the love in your soul.

“How was your night?”

“Quiet,” you sigh. “Just… cleaning up from dinner.”

“Shit, you made dinner?” At that moment, his stomach growls, “I was so busy at Ma’s I didn’t get the chance to eat. Do we have leftovers?”

You nod sadly, “yeah. Help yourself.”

“…everything okay?”

“Peachy.”

He clears his throat and picks up a plate from the strainer, “are you sure…? these used to have a design on them.”

You scrub harder.

“Talk to me, baby. I don’t like us keeping secrets from each other.”

“We don’t have secrets. If you can’t use your cognitive thinking skills as to why the person you’re going to marry is mad at you, that’s not my problem.”

“Is this about today?” He asks, voice dropping in defeat.

“Usually is.”

“Baby, you know I-“

The plate snaps under the force of your scrubbing, but you don’t focus on that, though osamu’s brows shoot up.

“Your mother needs you, your mother comes first, your mother asked you, your mother this, your mother that, I KNOW, OSAMU!” You bark, wet fists balled angrily and teeth gritted sharply. “I know the damn drill!”

He takes a step back and raises his hands in surrender, but his brows are furrowed in worry, “hey… it’s okay-“

“It’s not okay!” You yell. Your hands come up to grip your chest, “what about when I need you? Hmm? Where’s my turn to be selfish and need you-“

“My mother is not selfish,” he growls. His brows furrow, “you damn know that.”

You roll your eyes, “no, she’s not. But I want to be. I want to be the big important thing in your life for once, I want to be the thing you run to; I want to be the one you drop everything for.”

“You are, but she needed me today, atsumu couldn’t make it-“

“Yeah, what was the big emergency today, huh? Problem with the internet? Phone bill? Fridge cleaning?”

He doesn’t say anything; merely scratches the back of his head, looking at you with tired eyes as if you’d done this dance far too many times. Which you had- but that’s not your fault.

“Tell you what,” you begin, using your wet hand to grab the engagement ring from the edge of the sink and grab his hand to put it in, “when you can give me more than 4 hours out of the day, you can propose to me again.”

He grips your hand sharply, and for a moment it snaps you back to reality for what you were saying, how venomous and toxic your words were, and your jaw slacks softly, “I… didn’t mean that-“

“We are not going to be this couple,” he snarls. “We are not going to weaponize our engagement when we get into fights. Understand?”

“It just came out-“

“Then keep it in. Do not question my love for you in such a meaningless fight. Do not give me the ring that I decided to give you back, sheerly because you’re mad at me. We’re not going to be a couple that threatens our love from each other. You know better than that.”

The room is silent, the only noise coming from the creaks of the house and osamu doesn’t let go of your hand. His eyes are firm but they shine with betrayal, and his Adams Apple bobs as he swallows thickly.

You sniffle under his intense gaze, “all I wanted was for you to come home,” you whimper. “I got a promotion at work. I cooked dinner, I bought a cake, I-I-I just wanted you to show up.” Your bottom lip wobbles as he simply nods at your words, encouraging you to speak up more if you need to. “I hate sharing you all the time. I want to be selfish and have you come home to me, and not have to wonder about when or if you’re going to come home because of how far away she lives.” He lets go of your hand to wipe a stream of tears that dribble from your eye.

“I just miss you, ‘samu…”

He takes a deep inhale in before pulling you in for a hug, cradling you close and letting you cry in his chest. “Thank you, for being honest,” he says softly, kissing your head. “It must be frustrating to have to share my attention, especially when you have something important to tell me.” He lets you cry it out for a few minutes, before squeezing you closer, “but you have to communicate with me. You have to tell me if you’re feeling neglected. I can’t be here if I don’t know, baby.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “I’m sure you wanted to surprise me today, and I’m sorry that fell through.”

You nod in his chest, relishing in the smell of rice and cologne, mewling and squeezing him tighter.

“How about we take tomorrow off?” He hums, pulling back to cradle your cheek in his big hand. “We can celebrate your promotion, and be together, yeah?”

“W-What about the shop?” You whimper. “That’s more important-“

“No.” He pulls back and looks down firmly. “Don’t finish that sentence. The shop will be plenty fine for one day.” He smiles softly, “after all. Need to celebrate my baby’s big break.”

You give him a watery laugh before inching to be closer to him again, more than anything just glad to be in his vicinity after so long.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” you whispered.

“Hmm… what was that?” He asks, cheekily.

Brat.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” you repeat, this time with some giggles.

“One more time?”

“Osamu!”

He snickers and places a kiss on top of your head, “I’m so sorry I was busy with Ma all day. I didn’t think it would take that long.”

“What did she need?”

“Eh, she needed her oil changed and god knows atsumu’s not going to do that.”

You laugh against his chest and nod, “he’d never risk messing up his hair like that.”

“Never.”

#osamu miya #osamu miya angst #osamu miya x reader #osamu miya x gn!reader #osamu miya x reader angst #osamu miya imagine #osamu miya haikyuu #miya osamu #miya osamu angst #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu x reader angst #miya osamu x gn!reader #miya osamu imagine #miya osamu haikyuu #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x gn!reader #haikyuu x yn #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #hurt to comfort #hurt/comfort

[rishiguro]

DESOLATION - S. RINTAROU

a/n: i’m projecting and got carried away

warnings: self-deprecating thoughts, self-loathing and slight allusions to passive suicidal ideation (just to be safe, i don’t know if that’s actually the case). 2.3k of hurt/comfort (though i feel like it’s mostly hurt)

slamming the door shut behind you, you let out a sigh, leaning your body against the wood. you closed your eyes, fists clenching on your sides.

nothing felt right anymore. the weeks passed by in an instant and yet every day seemed to be endless and monotonous. you woke up, did your work, came home and repeated that cycle the next day and the day after that.

you forgot how it was to wake up excited for the day and content with the path you were taking. how long has it been? now it was just a drag, a weight on your shoulders that kept pressing you down.

you couldn’t tell when or even how this started. everything was fine after all, wasn’t it? there was no trigger that caused all of this, no, and yet it would feel wrong to say that there was no reason in particular.

you just knew that you wanted it to be over.

taking your shoes off with a low hanging head, you sat down on the floor, trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself down.

it was okay, wasn’t it? you were finally home, you could recharge and just shut yourself off from the world. just let go of everything for a couple of hours before you would be thrown back into real life.

all you needed was a break.

“baby?” suna’s voice came from the living room, faint as it reached your ears. “you alright?”

you could hear his footsteps as he came closer to the hall, quickly jumping to your feet before he managed to poke his head out of the doorway.

you felt your chest getting warm as a smile plastered itself on your partner’s face as soon as he saw you.

you affirmed as you turned your back to him, slowly taking off your jacket and putting it away. you barely even paid attention to the questions he was asking you, simply answering them with only two to three words before diverting the attention back to him and asking him about his day.

suna didn’t have to be a genius to notice that something was off. you hadn’t seen how his smile was immediately wiped from his face as soon as you turned around after seeing him, shifting into a confused frown. he saw how you not just hung your jacket, but also opted to sort the hallway closet, acting like you were actually interested in the order of everything inside of it in a pathetic attempt to get him to go away.

but he wasn’t having any of it.

you didn’t notice how suna went quiet, studying your form and taking notice of your sluggish state.

he wasn’t an idiot. he had noticed how you got quieter with every passing day, losing more and more energy until you barely did anything outside of going to work. and he hated how you put on a smile whenever you thought he was looking, only to have it wiped away as soon as you turned around. and when he did approach you, you only shrugged him off, pinning your state on a stressful day at work or a bad night’s sleep.

“what’s wrong?” he finally asked, arms crossed and leaning against the doorframe.

“long day,” you only claimed “i’m gonna go wash up” immediately after you practically ran away, locking the bathroom door behind you and releasing your breath.

you thoughts raced as you washed your hands under the cold water. was it really fair to act this way? you practically dismissed your boyfriend, not even paying attention to anything he was saying just because you didn’t feel your best. and this wasn’t just a one time thing either, no, it happened countless times already, to the point of you not even remembering the last time you had an actual conversation with him that lasted longer than five minutes.

you were really terrible, huh?

you didn’t want to think like this, you knew that this spiral would just sent you down further with no way to escape. you could talk, communicate, somehow get your feelings across, apologize for being such a horrible partner, just anything. you just needed to get your mouth to open.

running the freezing water on your wrists to calm yourself you stared down at your bare skin.

you had to get out there and talk. you had to reach out. suna wasn’t going to turn you away or laugh at you, he’d be there for you just like he always was. he would probably scold you if he knew about the doubts you were having. scratch that, he most likely already knew, having spend so much time by your side, but decided to give you your space until you were ready to come to him, knowing how you could get when people pressured you.

he was so considerate. and you just stomped on that and tore him down.

you stood there for who knows how long, your wrists have gone numb from the water, when you finally decided to turn off the sink, drying your hands and wrists.

meanwhile suna sat on the couch in the living room, his leg bouncing as he stared on his phone, mind drifting back to you. you were so absent, so tired that it started to hurt him. you suffered on your own, shutting everyone out. maybe you didn’t even have the energy to reach out to him and here he sat, perfectly aware of your state of mind with no idea how to help or just make it a little bit easier on you.

his head shot up as he heard the door to the bathroom open, gaze softening as he saw you stepping out of it, feet dragging over the floor as you approached him.

the middle blocker didn’t take his eyes off of you for a second when you came to a halt in front of him, playing with your fingers in front of you.

you took a deep breath as you began to speak, head still hanging low, not wanting to look into his face. “please hug me,” you mumbled, already feeling how your throat closed in, “i really need a hug right now”

he didn’t even waste a second to get up and step closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and pushing you into his body. “always”

and so you stood there, suna holding you secure in his arms, the both of you having your eyes closed and taking in each other’s warmth.

“i’m sorry,” you finally broke, fist clenching the fabric of your boyfriend’s hand, “i’m being such a shitty partner right now and you don’t deserve this”

“it’s okay,” he replied, hands moving from the middle of your back to your waist, drawing small shapes.

you shook your head, still not daring to look at him. “no, it’s not,” you denied, “i have no reason to just waltz in here every day with my shitty mood and ruin your day because of whatever the hell is going on, that’s not fair. and to make it even worse, i’m not even talking to you about it, it’s just like i’m punishing you for something that isn’t even your fault” you rambled, only coming to a stop to take a breath. opening your eyes, you opted to stare at the fabric draped over his chest, face contorted into a pained expression. “i don’t even know what i’m doing anymore,” you whispered through your tight throat, feeling the first tears welling up in your eyes so you immediately shut them, not wanting to feel them pour over your cheeks.

“hey, take a deep breath, alright? we’re okay, i promise” suna was quick to reassure you, hands squeezing the sides of your waist in an attempt to comfort you. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t shocked. he never imagined you to feel so guilty for it, beating yourself up over the fact that you weren’t doing good mentally not for yourself but on his behalf. mentally he scoffed, cursing himself out for not realizing sooner just how long he let this drag along. but he knew that all he should do right now is be there for you and ease your mind, not potentially making everything worse for you. “and don’t you worry about ‘ruining my day’ or something like this, because you’re not, i don’t know who told you this”

he softly petted your head, mumbling some short phrases of affirmation with your arms still tight around him.

“i want to be better, i will be, i promise” your voice was all choked up, your eyes watering behind your eyelids. “i’m sorry i’m not good yet, i’m sorry”

“shhh” the young man shushed you, pressing you closer to him and softly swaying your bodies back and forth. “you’re good, you’re a good person”

you shook your head violently and even though your mind screamed at you to let him go and push him away, you only grabbed him tighter. “i’m not, i’m terrible, i’m horrible and nothing i do is changing that”

“that’s not true,” suna spoke softly, carefully, almost like you were about to run away. he didn’t force you to look at him, looking to the side himself as he spoke, but occasionally glancing at you, only to find you still staring at his shirt concentrated. “you’ve grown so much already and you’re such a good and kind person,” he claimed, a fond smile on his lips. you could hear that he truly believed what he said and while you didn’t exactly want to take his words to heart, you allowed yourself to succumb to them, heart warming at the thought of him genuinely thinking that you weren’t this horrible person you saw yourself as. “i know you can’t believe me, i know, but i promise it’s true”

after a few moments of silence he slightly pulled away to look at you again, one hand traveling to face, a thumb brushing over your wet cheek. “you trust me, right?” you nodded against him. your heart was beating rapidly, to the point of you being afraid that he could hear it.

your boyfriend smiled again, tilting your head upward. “good. then trust me with this too, okay?”

if he was shocked to see the tears running on your cheek quietly, he didn’t let you notice, instead wiping them away carefully.

“okay,” you whispered, “i’ll do my best”

suna smiled softly, kissing your forehead. “i know you will and you’ll do great”

“do you want to talk?” he asked after a couple minutes of you sobbing into him, but not before he couldn’t feel your body calming down in his arms.

you sunk your teeth into your bottom lip, ashamed to face him with what you were about to say. you didn’t want to look at him, you didn’t want to see whatever expression he might have on his face. pity? sadness? or even anger?

“i don’t want to be strong anymore,” you finally confessed.

strong. suna always knew you were strong — a strong person, able to hold so much pain inside of them and not cracking underneath it all. willing to burden yourself with so much, all to see the people you cared for happy, content. strong and carrying so much weight on your shoulders and yet you never wanted to give any of it away, opting to just swallow it down and keep going.

until you couldn’t anymore.

“don’t be” and while others saying this may sound almost condescending, thinking that this was the simplest thing in the world, he somehow made these two words sound so understanding, letting you believe that maybe it was alright for you to want it. “it’s okay”

“i can’t anymore,” you continued, eyes clenched shut as more and more tears found their way out of your eyes, staining not just your cheeks, but also your lover’s shirt.

“i know”

“what can i do?” you asked him, fully knowing that he didn’t have an answer to this question. you felt bad for asking this, bad for dumping all of these thoughts on him, but you knew that he wouldn’t hold this against you. suna wasn’t a particularly complicated or deceiving person — quite the opposite. he was here with you because he cared. and he was willing to deal with whatever it was that was weighing you down. “i don’t want to feel like this”

you continued to sob into him, a warm hand finding it’s way onto your back and drawing circles on it to get you to breathe. “i don’t want to do this anymore”

“i don’t know what to do,” you continued helplessly, mind racing as you poured your entire heart out, “i just want to let go”

and suna pulled you close to him again, whispering softly. “i got you”

“i’m scared,” you admitted, “i’m so scared, rin”

scared of your feelings, scared of change and yet scared of everything remaining the same. scared of not doing well and scared of failing and at the same time scared of losing everything and everyone that was dear to you because you wouldn’t change.

“i know. i’m here,” he didn’t waste a second to reassure you again, desperate to help you understand that no matter what, he loved you and wanted to do everything for you. “i’m here, i promise”

“please help me” suna’s heart broke as you whimpered in his arms, so terrified and vulnerable, exposing just how lost you felt. “make this go away please”

“i got you” he felt his throat drying after he pressed yet another long kiss on your forehead, desperate to convey his deep feelings for you that he just couldn’t voice out loud. “i promise”

“you’re not alone”

reblog to get cuddles from suna

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