#to have the sexuality that you have

[caffeinatedopossum]

People are so weird to trans people. Like beyond being straight forward dickheads, transphobes are just so weird

#even some people who arent necessarily malicious but maybe just ignorant tend to be so weird #i just saw a post from a lesbian (presumably a terf) complaining about trans woman #because 'i like woman. how am i expected to be attracted to trans woman if no look like woman??? hmm?' #maybe this is also just hard for me to understand as an asexual person trying to understand allosexual people but #but like wtf? idk who is demanding you to be attracted to ALL women but it certainly isnt me #you can be a lesbian who doesnt like all women...? some women is plenty tbh #you dont have to tear apart another persons (an entire demographics-woth of people actually) self esteem #to have the sexuality that you have #as a trans person who isnt cis passing i can tell you. we KNOW. We KNOW we dont look cis to you #you do not have to remind us that our bodies dont fit into your culturally conceptualized ideals for gender #it also gets really fucking exhausting to constantly hear people talking about something fundamental to me #as some sort of compromise at best #its something i can relate to with my asexuality too #either love me for who i am or leave me the hell alone

[cock-holliday]

Sometimes wild attraction shit happens when you learn to separate masc/fem from man/woman. I’ve known queer women find the femininity in a man attractive. I’ve known gay men get so hot and bothered by the masculinity of a woman.

There was once a guy who was not really my type but then he did drag and was suddenly wildly attractive to me. And since I’m bisexual it doesn’t give me a crisis when someone is suddenly hot to me in an unconventional way. I used to think this was particularly a bi experience.

Then I’ve met plenty of gay men and lesbians who are also chill about that sort of thing. Sometimes life is like that “oops made out with a twink in Brighton who turned out to be a lesbian who thought I was a lesbian” and sometimes it’s like “hey, I’m not normally into men but this guy has got something hot going on.”

#and this of course leaves out androgyny in all its formss #or feminine masculinity and masculine feminity and so on #gender and sexuality are weird #don’t get too hung up on it #you don’t HAVE to like anyone #someone liking you doesnt mean you have to return it! #AND two people who you don’t think should fit together fitting together doesn’t affect you literally at all #LJsm

[amalgamezz]

ALT

#aromantic #actually aromantic #aro #aro pride #love loses #good job everyone. im so proud of us <2 #edit (12/31): also pls do not quote 'not all loves are romantic/sexual' at me #1. aros have always been the first to dissect the definition of love. we are likely to know that before you. #2. are we gonna keep pretending that aros aint only an afterthought to the 'love wins' and 'love is love' crowds. #3. im loveless aro. i do not care for love whether its romantic platonic or familial etc etc. #one can do good w love. one can also do evil w love. love =/= morals. stop acting like it is.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"oh please everyone has gay thoughts sometimes" so what i'm hearing is that heteronormativity is so ingrained that a significant percentage of the population regularly experiences bisexual attraction? but dismisses it as something that all straight people experience? this is so concerning are you guys okay

#'lol women/men are so hot it's a shame i'm straight' buddy i got news for you #gimme a B! and an I! and a PHO! and a BIA!!! #look hon you can be more frequently and strongly attracted to one gender and still experience meaningful attraction to other genders #you can have a strong preference without that erasing other facets of your sexuality #a bunch of people experience bisexual attraction while still having a preference for a certain gender #and guess what! those are still bisexual experiences! #congratulations human sexuality is rich and varied and frequently evolving isn't it wonderful isn't it grand

[cruelsister-moved2]

for real! (from kadji amin)

[Image description: Screenshot of text:

What I've realized is that I believe that the matter of gender is practical and relational. It's not about who you are inside, it's more about how you would feel most comfortable in the world. It's not 'Who are you?' but 'How do you want to live?'

Had that been the discourse when I was coming up, I would have breathed a sigh of relief. I don't have to figure out who I am on the inside, I just have to figure out how I want to live.

end of ID]

#and I kind of felt really sad when they were talking about how like they feel in some ways figuring yourself out is way harder now #bc there is this pressure to like figure out who u Really Are Inside #and instead of being like well maybe my identity goes far beyond gender and like i don't need to find some microlabel #in order to like define who is Me #it's become very fixated on like categorising ur gender rejection in a way that ends up just. making even more genders to constrain u #it's hard to summarise it was like v wordy but I thought this part was so true #for sexuality as well not to tack it on but we have really gotten into the same mindset w sexuality now as well #THANK U @VAKAVANHASAATANA for the ID it wont let me @ you in the text </33

[bulldog-butch]

i’m gonna say something controversial yet brave: sexuality labels are a convenient tool we use to define something that is undefinable

#you literally cannot change my mind #if you accept that sexuality is about something other than genitals than you also have to accept that there are going to be millions #of definitions for the same labels #and that’s okay #who you are attracted to cannot possibly ever be described with one word #put weirdo little brains and desires are too complex for that #*our #anyway #i’m right #bork bork!

[coldbrewpup]

actually i love all my trans sisters forever and ever no matter what

#that's family babes #if we don't have each other what do we have #cause the rest of the world certainly doesn't have our backs #t4t4ever and i don't just mean sexually #i mean i am here for you no matter what because we're sisters

[uncanny-tranny]

The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.

Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.

#feminism #dysphoria tw #your body doesn't need to have an Intrinsic Worthwhile Purpose so that you can live without fear #and it is fine if people say this to criticize the way breasts are overly sexualized and fetishized or what have you... #...but i encourage people to not see this as an end-all-be-all argument #because this opens discussions about how we politicize bodies and how we interpret them #i see overlap between this and the way trans bodies are politicized and policed honestly #and i guess personally i'm just so tired of the idea that to be safe your body Must Have A Good Reason To Be #and i fear this may reinforce the idea that we Must Serve Purposes and Be Useful and Used #ask to tag (genuine) #and what would this say for childless people? or people who cannot bear children? if they have breasts are they 'useless bodies' #because i have seen the ways some people's bodies are treated when they do not 'work PROPERLY' and that scares me #it scares me to potentially start treating people with different bodies as Defective and Unworthy and Unproductive #and i don't always trust when people latch onto purpose-driven arguments for human bodies that it stops at that y'know #have seen some discussion amd whatnot so 👍 #is it now time to clock put and be a silly goose yet?

[deuteragonist1]

Thinking of a kinda gen Merlin scenario where Arthur finds out Merlin likes men and at first it's kinda uncomfortable with Merlin being like "I don't look at you like that or anything" and Arthur is awkwardly trying to process this but then after a moment he's like. Well why not. You got something to complain about???? Am I, a handsome prince and fierce warrior, not desirable enough for you???? And he's genuinely outraged for not fucking reason and Merlin is like God fucking dammit of course he would be insufferable about this too. So naturally he goes "well I've seen better" and Arthur is like "do tell" (disbelievingly and exasperatedly -because obviously his servant has rubbish taste, and quite frankly Merlin is in no position to have such high standards) and Merlin has this thing where his mouth moves faster than his brain whenever Arthur needs to be put in his place so he goes, immediately and without hesitation, "Gwaine, for one" and Gwaine, who is present along with the rest of the knights when this happens, looks oddly pleased at that and is literally preening for the rest of the week (Merlin lets him have this)

I haven't thought about how this would end but probably with Gwaine and Arthur fighting for Merlin's attention (yes even if Arthur is straight and not in love with him)(Gwaine would elope with Merlin in a second)

#merlin is bi btw #he's always bi even if i don't mention it #i said gen because that's how i pictured it but it could veer into mergwaine or even merthur territory #if you have the space to fit an arthur shaped sexuality crisis somewhere in there #this couldn't be canon because i'm pretty certain arthur canonically already thinks merlin is into guys #but that's for another day #bbc merlin #merlin emrys #bbc arthur pendragon #arthur pendragon #bbc gwaine #gwaine

[houseswife]

listen. this may sound like a reach but I don’t think house’s eagerness to go to the lesbian bar with thirteen was fetishistic glee. because like. okay. straight men love lesbians. but it’s only ever in a “conventionally attractive porn stars making out”, “I’ll pay these 2 strippers to kiss” sort of way, not exactly in the sense that they like to surround themselves with regular, real life sapphics. in fact, most hetero men despise the lesbians they meet in real life because they see them as either unattainable or unappealing disappointments to their fantasies. now, listen. house isn’t stupid, it’s not like he thought thirteen was gonna let him in on some hot girl-on-girl voyeuristic action, and he certainly knew he wasn’t about to get laid himself at a bar of ALL WLW. he’s an overconfident perv, sure, but not the kind who thinks he can ‘convert’ a gay gal, nor would he even desire to. the damn patient of the week is a guy who tried to ECT himself straight, which house obviously doesn’t believe is reasonable (this episode also gave us the shot where both house & thirteen are shown making a face in response to “I’m as straight as any of you!”)

with all of this laid out, you kinda have to assume that he was excited about the bar for another reason. dare I say it was simply… the joy of existing in a queer space as a queer person?

#I know there’s 0 chance that the writers thought it through this hard #but I genuinely believe this with my entire soul #it’s one thing for house to be an ally and support thirteen’s sexuality #but to delight in sharing the bisexual experience with her? just basking in the inclusiveness of an lgbt environment? #that’s a whole nother beast #you get what I’m saying? #he was just there for the vibes. #one might even say… for the pride #he had 0 ulterior motives other than to have a good time #house md #gregory house #greg house #dr house #hatecrimes md #remy hadley #remy thirteen hadley #thirteen house md #you know what I’ll also throw in a #hilson #house/wilson

[juiceicicles]

Steve having a sexuality crisis is all good angst and realistic writing, and Steve having known for a while and being confident and learned is great too, but I love Steve “just skipped the crisis part” Harrington.

Because really, who gives a shit if he’s gay when he’s fought monsters?

His best friend is a lesbian, and he loves her, so it’d be hypocritical not to accept this part of himself.

He’s had to protect his friends from mind demons with Kate Bush songs, this is not even a blip in the crazy shit he’s had to deal with.

One of his children friends has telekinetic powers and can go into your mind to figure out your location and save you from giant spider demons.

He almost died, everyone he loves almost died, who cares?

#steve harrington #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things 4 #steve harrington x eddie munson #I want to add that if you are gay #and have gay friends #and love them but struggle with interlized homophobia #you are not hypocritical #I added that because it is something I’ve seen done before #not because having self worth issues about your sexuality is homophobic to anybody but yourself #also please don’t be homophobic to yourself #you are perfect and lovely #and regardless of your gender or sexuality #you are a valuable human being and deserve love and happiness #juicepost

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

#you know. the one with the pendulum #'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this' #'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!' #'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you' #like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine #it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences. #but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification #and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs #when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck. #you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck. #and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters! #and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that #anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately #it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel #which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about. #but we'll have to do our best with what we have #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #talking #aspec #asexual #asexuality

[lucyvaleheart]

lil secret desire of mine is like. i hide my face a lot and I fucking dream about being forced out of that; someone pulling my hands away, or grabbing my chin and making me look at them, or otherwise not letting me hide away

sexually or not that shit slaps so good every fucking time 😵‍💫

#fuckin. soft or violent both are so amazing #sexually context is great #but it's also so fucking good when like. you're sad and want to be comforted #that idea that they still wanna see your face they want you to stop hiding enough to pull you to them #oiughjgg #hi I'm normal and definitely don't have any trauma what are you talking about