#thought it was gonna look way worse

[sga-owns-my-soul]

i cut my hair 😍

#okay i'm ACTUALLY obsessed #it looks so good!!!! #i'm so happy with the length omg #and it's mostly even too!!! #which is shocking bc i can't cut people hair worth shit lmao #thought it was gonna look way worse #but i'm SO happy with it #i love how it looks #omg #i'm so giddy rn omg #i love it #i love it so much #thank you to everyone who encouraged me to do this #i'm so glad i did i love it #ahhhhh omg #i don't even wanna braid it!!! #i never wear my hair down bc it just annoys me #but it looks and feels so good rn omg #i'm so happy with it!!!!!! #personal rambles #not stargate #selfie

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh #like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good #but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees #the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support #and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well #like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people #maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a #whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously #women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women #or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak #like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years #but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people #i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse #drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so* #and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles #+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries #and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation #isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote #*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now #and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad #but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing #and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this. #love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

pov you're franziska and you're 11 years old and you just started your first period and papa has NOT been helpful but your brother has conducted extensive research and is handling it surprisingly well

#i am never gonna finish this so have the wip lmao #do you have any idea how difficult it is for me a furry. to draw not only a human but a human with kinda yaoi proportions #by tracing him over eminem's lanky ass. of all people #im honestly amazed it didn't turn out a lot worse #i spent way longer on this than i thought i would #i didn't think it would even result in something i was comfortable posting lmao but here we are #also i thought abt looking up what people use in germany and/or finding the german packaging of products we have in the uk too #but with the god-awful-to-nonexist transparent png's online shops be uploading for their websites i can only assume are ran by boomers #i was like yknow what im just gonna use what im familiar with and consider high end and/or bougie #i would not be caught dead using nurofen and neither would most people i know on account of generic stuff is cheaper + works the same #but i imagine they must make their money somehow. probably from people who are well off enough to not really think abt that stuff #and being the perfectionists they are the von karma household are not gonna use the german equivalent of tesco's own version of anything #so. we've got what in my heavy period having opinion are The Only Acceptable Pads #then we've got expensive ice cream with a european-sounding name bc of course #then we've got the chocolate 11yo me was always craving but could rarely have bc ny dad was a cheapskate so. i assume it's expensive #the nurofen of course #and. i don't know much abt what paracetamol brands are considered bougie and was already soso tired #so i just. grabbed one that wasn't a generic tesco version and went with it #i was also gonna put a hot water bottle in a cute fluffy case but i forgor so just pretend it's there #fanart #shitpost #miles edgeworth #sibling brainrot #my art #my shitposts #im..... not putting this in the aa tag #not bc im embarrassed abt the art itself but bc im afraid that if the cis men catch a glimpse of it they'll clown on me and call me gross #bc cis men do not know how to be normal about periods #it's a fact of life grow up this isn't cursed it is incredibly wholesome and sweet to imagine miles reading several wikipedia articles #in order to better understand and assist his little sister through her first period. it's cute it's not gross fuck you

[bigothteddies]

the thing about abusive and manipulative people is they that will be able to explain their actions and they will sound convincing and they will be genuine about what they say. We demonize these people so much until they fit into a category of evil monsters that are obvious to the naked eye and hold nothing but malice behind their actions. The truth is that they’re just people. Normal people who have failed in their ability to be honest with themselves about anything they do and possess an ability to reframe every event into something that suits how they want to interpret it. And you’re going to fall for it. Someone you love will tell you they didn’t mean something hurtful they said, didn’t you know they clearly meant it in another way? And they mean it, not because they didn’t mean it when they said it, but because they don’t mean it now, after they’ve realized it was a bad thing to say. And they can’t bear the possibility of saying something cruel like that, so they reframe it in their own memories and experiences as a joke, something they didn’t mean. If you had never told them your feelings were hurt, they’d’ve never apologized or realized that what they said was wrong. And that’s a pattern that will continue and only worsen. So many people ask why someone abusive in their life can’t just…admit to mistreating and undervaluing them instead of carrying the charade on, because it makes it so much harder to end things. And it’s because to them they haven’t mistreated or undervalued you. They can’t face a world where they are the bad guy or where they have to improve upon themselves, so they won’t. Or, on the flipside, they’ll switch back and forth between being awful and cheerful or crying and begging and pleading you to stay because they know how awful they are and they’ll treat you right this time they promise. And they mean that! They know what they are. It sticks in their stomach and turns to a pain in their heart. But once they’ve achieved their goal for immediate comfort, once you agree to stay, they don’t have a reason to keep themselves in that discomfort. Why would they want to be continually reminded of how awful they are? It’s painful. They don’t want to go through life like that. So they forget. They go back to normal. They have you again, they don’t need to face that side of themselves anymore. And they won’t see any issues with that. They are capable of reframing every event and action in their head into something that suits them and I don’t mean that in a gimmicky way I mean that they will be able to explain to you in perfect clarity why they truly love you despite their mistreatment and why their feelings of pain and discomfort are more important than how you feel about how they mistreated you. And it will be convincing. You will question yourself because they seem so sure of themselves and they seem to genuinely believe it. And it will lead you down the wrong path. These people frequently stand against abuse and repost ideas you agree with that make you feel safe. And they will mean it. And years later you will ask yourself why they supported such causes and things when they were clearly abusive themselves, and you’ll fail to realize that they saw themselves as a normal good guy the whole time. Just like we all do.

The right person will tell you when they’ve done wrong. The right person will be able to give you space to heal and do the *right* things to help you heal from any pain they cause, not love bomb you until it’s forgotten. I don’t know this wasn’t very coherent but I just wanted to say that abusers and manipulator are so good at it because they aren’t trying to do so and they don’t believe themselves to be doing so. Don’t fall for moral high ground bullshit, it only makes you easier to fall for bad situations.

#unimportant thoughts #delete later #anyways #abusers are people and the more you ‘other’ them the worse you will be at being able to spot abuse when it starts happening to you #and if youre reading this going ‘wait i do that’ #im not gonna hold your hand and tell you ‘if you have to question if youre abusive youre not abusive!’ #cause thats bullshit #so many abusers have self hatred complexes and will have breakdowns over how awful they are and still not change #so ill tell you this right now #when i say i was an awful person in high school #i was an A W F U L person in high school #and i still fight bad habits because id rather be a genuine good person than just fake it in order to feel comfortable with myself #and yeah #it sucks #the first few years when i realized what i had become? #when i had to sit there every day and acknowledge what id done and all the hurt i caused and how i couldnt fix it? #how i couldnt take it back? how i avoided thinking about it in order to not take responsibility for my actions? #it. sucked. #but it’s deserved in a way. #youre not going to escape your past scot free #you have to look yourself in the eyes and live with the pain and disappointment in yourself #only way to get better is to BE better #anyways getting off my high horse now ill delete this later i just wanted to shout to the void a bit I guess

[cosmobrain00]

well🙂

#*visibly trying not to burst into tears* hey guys whats up #surprise surprise another absence bc my life can’t stop getting WORSE evry day it seems haha! #so. now who’s gonna tell me how u deal w the loss of ur fave person n the one person u were 100% certain truly loved u no matter what #who also inspired u to be an artist in the first place n who's been there for u ur ENTIRE life #like idk how to start dealing w it lmao. one min ill be basically okay n then the next ill feel like smthing just tore a chunk out of me #looked outside just a sec ago n thought “oh so she'll never see my progress in art. oh ill never get to make another painting for her” #n yk part of me just wants to pretend like none of it happened honestly #like “hey that was a fucked up dream oh well let me call [x] n tell them I love them” #n I dont fucking KNOW how to deal w this grief n idk whats normal n what isnt #no I havent cried rlly but almost every day I feel like I cant breathe n tht my chest is collapsing in on itself #no I cant talk abt it but i can’t draw like I used to n thinking abt my last art project makes me wanna throw up #< considering it was going to be a present for her tht she'll never get to see. Haha so funny right guys #fuck I need to get so entirely drunk over this now RELAPSING TIME BABY!! #anyways. will try to be normal tm n talk to ppl again instead of isolating as a way to cope n sorry to ppl who have msg'd me Ill be back

[dykedvonte]

Discussing the NCR (Fallouts NV's Military Industrial Complex)

Fallout regularly discusses the idea of the military, its faults, its strengths, and most importantly, the psycho-social aspects of it regarding those who are members. We have seen a direct critique of the military generalized through the Enclave's overt nationalism, the hoarding of resources and indoctrination through the Brotherhood of Steel, and an almost eerily modern critique of the whole military-industrial complex through the NCR in New Vegas. In these series of posts, I will be focusing primarily if not exclusively on the last one.

The NCR we see in the game is strictly the military side of things and the depiction of active occupation during a time of eminent war, conflicting factions, and resource scarcity. It is in this we are missing a major factor that negatively affects the view of the NCR in the game and out: Civilian life along with citizen opinion on the military. While we do get Mojave civilian opinion on the military (often neutral or negative) we do not get those who are New California Republic citizens, not those who actually discuss the military more so not understanding the importance of the occupation and the President's choices.

We do not see how life is regularly lived by the average citizen as we have not seen New California in New Vegas, though, we get words and glimpses that the people are relatively content in the growing country minus the fact many people are not happy with the choice of encroaching on the Mojave. This most similarly reflects it's real-world application that many civilian citizens reject acquisition and war due to the economic effects it has on the country and the general violence/loss associated.

In this, we come to an issue of losing a perspective that is unique to the NCR as a military representative. The Brotherhood is notably a place where its active members are intertwined with its efforts, the young are raised to be scribes, paladins, etc... To where even if one is not fighting for The Brotherhood, they are still intertwined, it's propaganda is the life. The Enclave is even more cut n' dry in that it is mostly made up of government representatives. It is a group even smaller than the former, even more selective and intertwined that their propaganda IS a form of Eugenics. The NCR is unique in that there is a clear distinction between what is the military force, the civilian population, and the choice if one wants to be a part of the former.

There is a distinct difference in the cultures of the factions you are born into and those you must enlist or join (forcibly for some). While this is a long-winded way to get into the actual discussion I want to facilitate throughout these posts I wanted an initial background post to understand the aspects I am and am not exploring and explaining along with a hub post to link everything I intend to discuss in the coming days and weeks, starting with:

Why Do People Join the NCR?

...which will be discussed and linked back here like everything else regarding to this topic.

Links: TBA

#fallout #fallout new vegas #new california republic #these will be longer posts so be warned #prepare to be sick of me #you thought i could yap before #should pin this but Im just gonna link it in the pinned post to be concise and since this isnt just a fallout blog I just am just obsessed #plus I dont want it to be centered focus while im only half way through with the first word doc #the three posts are just the beginning on my disection of the NCR and how the MIC is shown through it cuase #like pls its so much more nuanced with the specific ways each character in the faction interacts #at least the ones you can talk to and have options for like i know so many people do independent route but its so intriguing and you get ho #the military takes advantage of people but also how the individuals try or believe they fight for a good cause cause of all the brain washi #like some perpetuate and others dont but its a system that just gets worse the higher you go like grrrrr #a take cant be nuanced if you refuse to look or discuss the reasonings of another side or generalize their arguement through a personal len #like you need to be objective at points cause while you may feel a way in an analysis the context explains why in canon they feel a way #a retrospective on tumblr??? shocker #was gonna make this one giant mega post but it wouldve been cluttered and i wanna space them out cause its a lot to work on in one sitting #and what if I want to be silly in between???

[skitskatdacat63]

2005 Spanish Grand Prix - Kimi Räikkönen, Fernando Alonso + Jarno Trulli(my personal post-race highlights)

#theres smth so hilarious to me about the way the camera pans to nando that I absolutely had to gif it #the shadow over his eyes + his smile just rly makes him look like a super villain LMAO #idrk much about trulli but hes been on the podium 2x so far and he always looks like hes having the best day of his life so good for him #kimi taking a huge slug of the champagne is so iconic #otherwise not too much else to be said about this race #EXCEPT why tf is the camera quality so bad i feel like it gets worse every race #also they showed none of the cooldown room so thats rly disappointing #fernando alonso #kimi raikkonen #jarno trulli #f1 #formula 1 #2005 spanish gp #fa14 #(2005: 5/19 races watched) #(i really need to make up a tag for my own posts since theres gonna be a lot for the forseeable future) #*HAHAHA i thought of a good one: #we do a little bit of f1

[zxrtecs]

sometimes i wish i could just. reach through the screen and slam a pro.shipper's head down at least once because they are just so dumb and maybe the action would cause some important neurons sleeping on the job to actually get to work. they would almost be sad if they weren't so disgusting. they gotta have a combined IQ of 5 at this point like...

#scor’s rambling #tw: csa #tw: child abuse #rant in the tags #i don't argue with them bc they just seem to forget that children can easily be groomed and tricked apparently? #i remember when they would say “its not gonna make anyone act this out and if they do its not the creator's fault” #like? what kind of logic is that in regards to pedophilies???? dumbasses #and then they pull out the “but i was abused as a child this is how i cope” right. because tagging your trauma with pro''ship is totally go #help you and not easily attract people who literally just wanna get off at the thought of a kid being abused like that? #like you are making it worse for yourself and every possible child i don't know how they don't see that. #thats like me tagging my posts about my eating struggles with pro-eati.ng disorder tags. hello? inviting the devil to my house basically. #and then people wanna act like this is just some internet drama... no man its. way more serious lol #and they focus on the most extreme people who are against them too as if that makes them look better? like another type of group i know. #“see they think reading about murder makes you a criminal” you think cp is just fine and dandy... which one is more serious here. #like being an..ti censo..rship doesn't mean what they mean. they probably don't even give a damn about minorities being censored #unless they are child minorites to exploit i guess

[fishyartist]

Tumblrina 2 me btw. Would ride up and say some shit like “I’m not trans but I believe in their beliefs” or maybe say some shit about leaving to “steal some shoelaces” then kicking Joe Biden in the sack or something

#I’m thinking about their families. Danny’s r easy the fandom is ripe w Fenton opinions #less about mansons or foleys pr grays #like there’s some stuff but there’s a lot more room to explore the space #I also wanna give them uncles and aunts and cousins and extended families but I’ll worry about that if/when relevant. #but the family units they actually live with matter more so that’s where my thoughts lie #anyways! so #mansons give me big ‘’coparenting after a divorce must be rough’’ ‘’…we aren’t divorced’’ energy #like get divorced 10 years ago. they make each other worse and no one enjoys it #ida had a huge life where she was poor but moved around a lot+learned+did alot and I think whichever of sams parents she parented resent it #and rebeled from that by leaning super into the hussle culture capitalism tar pit #then maybe ​one of tuckers parents is technically a step parent… bio parents had a healthy divorce/breakup to friends coparenting arc #but like written in a way that doesn’t think of either parent as worse or weird shit like that #like ‘’technically’’ as in legally but tucker considers all three equally his parents #idk. I have some worried about writing that well but I’ll look into it on my own later #Valerie’s other parents probably gonna be a ghost. lots of potential for angst and/or a sweet reunion there #probably the latter I love that sappy shit #but bc that parent’s gone Val+her dad became super super close+trusting #they for sure have shared hobbies but I haven’t decided what yet #thinking something related to athletics or photography? #that’s probably closest to fanon based on my understanding of fanon tropes #where like. lying to their dad about hunting ghosts it is a major struggle for Val emotionally.

[always-a-joyful-note]

Things about Episode 12 that took my by surprise, spoilers to follow

They're all alive and well

For now

Even Wang Juan

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#fandom spamdom #okay i actually believed FOR ALL THIS TIME THAT THE END ENDED WITH CHENG XIAOSHI'S DEATH WITH LU GUANG CLAPPING HIS HANDS #BUT ITS SOMEHOW BETTER AND WORSE #IM GONNA - #shaking crying biting the ways lamenting the fact that so much pain is to come im - #i have so many things to say ill just make a post dumping my thoughts later but ARGHHHHH #LOOK AT LEAST THEYRE ALL HAPPY AND ALL HAVE PICTURE RELATED POWERS (i think that was what was implied with qiao ling) #AND AT LEAST WANG JUAN IS OKAY #but that image??? THAT IMAGE OF TIANXI BEING TRAPPED BY THE FILM OF TIME? GUYS THAT HURT #link click #link click spoilers #also im so sorry for shouting and being incoherent i just wasnt expecting that but also kind of was #note's notes #the lesson i learned here is dont look at link click spoilers because you will both get spoiled and also not #anyway AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[lover-of-mine]

My mom just reminded me of the way a "friend" of mine from highschool kept telling me to change my graduation dress just to show up with a dress that looked like a cheaper version of mine. I say cheaper because it hers was unfinished and I was wearing a Calvin Klein dress and that dress had been a gift from one of my dad's friends and legit that dress was great (for 2013 fashion) and the price tag had me on the floor and then she had the nerve to say I didn't tell her what I was gonna wear as if we didn't coordinate the dresses between 37 girls to make sure that wasn't gonna happens and she just, changed her dress in the last minute.

#i had 3 dresses #one was just a regular black dress #then i had ceremony dress that was this one that was the best dress because i had to walk one of our teachers #it was a whole thing #and then i had the other one made #her dress looked like a mix of the dress i did wear and the first dress i said i was gonna make #because the lady that made my 3rd dress was making A LOT of the dresses for the graduation #and she was friend of my dad's and she was like ''honey imma be real with you im making 4 of those'' #so i switched it up and didn't tell anyone kslskaoskpakss #but even my dad was appalled when he saw her #i wasn't mad #i looked too good that day to care #but the way she was actively trying to get me to change my dress to show up with a worse version of it is funny now #anyway #thoughts thoughts thoughts

[m0e-ru]

guy whose artstyle is clearly i need to get this out of my system as quickly as possible or i'll get sick inside and die. my grand drawing time was 3 seconds and this year it's 2

#kommento #// im not saying i got worse nor did i get better i guess it's different now that im understanding more concepts about how to draw #// i could try adding more weight to my lines to express form or colors to contrast #// but the moment the thing i make can be barely distinguishable as the idea i am trying to express then im DONE !! #// i have so much fire ideas i just wish i spent more time to make them more recognizable or actually have time in the first place #// if it looks like mimis backflipping with three strokes IT'S OVERR im NOT coloring that #// man one day im gonna be able to work on anything without having to look over my shoulder every three minutes #// still flopping at my kai go connect your lines challenge this year but at least im trying to color too #// having to work as fast as possible really has affected me even in my art . putting ideas out before they fly away #// maybe thats why im more partial to discord . so i can machine gun my way through thoughts and keep them around even if its messy #// although with everything slowing down. i think i can finally find time to go back to my old ideas and expand on them #// yawns. i should go clean up

[lil-oinks]

my issue with movie peach isn't that she's not feminine because obviously she is, and anyone sensible already knows "she's too feminist" or whatever is dumb. my issue is they made her into every generic cool serious surface-level "strong female character" action girl in a group of all men whose only character trait is "capable" that they've been writing over and over and over for the past ten years. I genuinely feel like they erased any personality she had past her appearance in favor of the single superficial female character type men tend to write when they want to be feminist and "modern." I'm not saying she shouldn't be capable and she shouldn't be cool or fight things because (I love paper mario) those things already are a part of her personality. this point is difficult to make with all of the "they're erasing feminine dainty proper women" takes because that's not what I'm taking about at all. I've seen people say if they wanted a character like this daisy was right there, but I wouldn't switch her character over to this trope either. daisy's LOUD and energetic and fun and the subdued woman whose role is being picking up the men's slack doesn't really fit her either (although I agree the two of them together would balance each other out (and it'd be nice if there were two women and they could interact)). it's exactly what I'd expect from a movie like this so I don't know why I complain, but I wish they would've done her differently. the character mario is about the whimsy but so is peach

#to me at least #no hate to you if you like her I just think they passed up an opportunity for variety. could've fought things And been a little silly #people say 'what personality' but I think she has a pretty equal amount to every other main mario character #and imo the Strong Female Character has less personality and isn't unique either. there's barely any variety between characters like that #people use paper mario etc to say look she's always been like this but the two are different characters. paper peach being better imo #your female character doesn't need to be serious all the time to be taken seriously #/The/ princess peach and they made her interchangeable with almost any marvel movie girl #honestly I think they also just didn't have an existing movie character trope to change her to that was very close to the original #and refused to keep her the same #also benefit of the doubt that she's wearing motorcycle outfit because she's on her way to ride a motorcycle #but when they first showed her in it I thought they wanted to put her in a cooler more heroic outfit than dress but for whatever reason #they couldn't come up with literally any other outfit for that (or they couldn't for nintendo reasons or smthn) #which to me made it read like She didn't have any other outfits for the situation and had to wear her motorcycle outfit like a costume #like I said later they showed the mario kart thing but that just initially made it worse for me dfghjgh #super mario #princess peach #I bet she's not even gonna fly just flip the axe around a bunch in her hands with a lot of swishing sounds

[azuneekun]

the reblogs to like ratio is so bad i could puke blood

#this isnt even discourse or a controversial opinion #tumblr has gotten WAY worse than it ever did #i genuinely thought i was just being a terrible artist but looking at my friends and other ppls notes. hell even the popular posts #theres like a 2:8 ratio of reblogs and tags #THATS HORRIBLE. #NONE of the posts from ppl are barely circulating #@ users who only like posts and never rb #you guys are KILLING US #genuinely. not even guilt tripping 100% serious. you. are. KILLING. US. #if you wonder where all the sdv artists went they LEFT. #yall murdered the old artists and are driving away NEW ones #its so unmotivating to post on a platform where theres no feedback or post circulation literally what would be the point #some of yall arent using this site right and its making all the users go quiet :| #i understand ppl who like and just reblog it for later but ppl who just like ???? this isnt tiktok or twitter #you HAVE to understand that #artists barely get any comments in their tags and writers barely get jack shit...girl youre gonna b losing all content on ur fave fandoms #vent #biting and killing and maiming and murdering and euthanizing

[snekdood]

i can tell twitter users are slowly going to make this website so, so much worse, and eventually do the impossible and make it go up in flames

#you thought tumblr was bad before... phew #bc the problem is.... more than likely its mostly just twitter leftists who came over here #and twitter leftists... are notorious for not getting along with anyone ever #and only getting along with people who agree w them exactly on everything #and also a lotta them are tankies :/ #if you thought leftists were divided on here before its only gonna get worse lmao #twitter leftists are honestly really good at eating their own and they dont care thats what theyre doing. like at all. #literally the definition of doing politics for aesthetics also #like i thought tumblr was the bottom of the barrel but maybe its that way now bc of the twitter refugees #maybe that was the goal of rightwingers- to get all the leftists in one place where the right hardly even is and watch us #tear eachother apart as we try to search for the 'secret right wingers' in eachother #thats why they dont care about making twitter good- they want to destroy it bc it was originally a platform where the rights ideas #were challenged and it was easy to make a fool of them. but the right wants echo chambers for itself and wants ut to tear eachother apart #and what better way to do that ig than to get anyone whos disagrees w rightwingers away from them where they can #plot and come up w more bullshit to make the world worse while we're all infighting #and dont get me wrong there probably are secret rwingers but i dont think its who ppl think it usually is #like its probably not the guy whos outwardly ignorant about a topic- showing hes vulnerable enough about it to be #challenged on it. #no. the secret rwingers are gonna be nolife kiwifarm types. theyre not gonna be out in the open and public about their opinions #to where it can be challenged. theyre gonna hide behind accounts that LOOK like normal tumblr users #and sow division among all of us by talking the way ppl do on here and using the same buzzwords #and coming up with convoluted ways to 'callout' people over the dumbest shit imaginable #people who go around saying 'clearly this person meant this' in regards to a statement someone is making as clear #as they possibly can and the other person misinterpreting it in bad faith on purpose a lot? i dont trust it personally. #you have to ask yourself what ppl have to *gain* by doing that kind of shit a lot. #and if you cant come up with anything that benefits the left in any real capacity... well... i think you might have your answer

[dreamcast-official]

hm.

#eli.txt #i think the reason i feel so shit over The Whole Deal is like. god. i just miss talking to them. #sometimes it felt like they were the only person who cared about what i had to say. they were the easiest person to talk to in my life. #and like. basically overnight. they were so distant for what i thought was no reason. and they did not care about me anymore. #i know they were justified in acting that way and its not like they suddenly hate me and dont care about me but god. #thats what it feels like. thats what it fucking feels like!!!! #i didnt just lose my boyfriend i lost one of my best friends and it fucking sucks. it feels like no one is going to put up with me anymore. #idk i dont feel nearly as comfortable talking to Anyone anymore. because when am i gonna know i made a mistake. #how am i gonna know i made a mistake and they suddenly think i hate them and it leads to something like this. how am i gonna know. #and like!! it looks To Me like their life got so much better without me being an active part of it. and i feel like i have just gotten worse #AND THEY WONT FUCKING TALK TO ME! I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION AND THEY DONT TALK TO ME! AND LIKE. #I KNOW I FUCKED UP BUT IM FUCKING TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME TRY. TALK TO ME. I MISS YOU. #I LOVE YOU. NOT IN THAT SENSE ANYMORE BUT I STILL CARE FOR YOU. YOURE MY FRIEND. FUCKING TALK TO ME. #I KNOW NO AMOUNT OF SAYING IM SORRY CAN FIX IT BUT IM TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT. PLEASE JUST DONT IGNORE ME LIKE THAT. #god i just feel like maybe i meant nothing. maybe theyve just already moved on entirely and i was never anything. #maybe im the only one who still hurts. yknow. i dont think they care about me anymore. #which i could fucking deal with if they just said that instead of flat out ignoring me. #god i just feel like shit. what if i keep fucking up the same way what if i lose everyone the same way and in the end im alone. #i would probably deserve it. if i keep messing up this bad maybe i deserve to be alone. #i know thats not true. but i feel really bad right now. im not thinking. #no one is going to put up with me the way they did. they already dont. #god. im so tired. i wish they would fucking talk to me.