you deserve better — mason mount
A/N: hiii 👋🏻 so this one is specially to my love @raremasey, thank you for trusting me with your brilliant idea and for being soooo patient with me and my slow ass, im not sure if the angst is angsting but i hope you like it 💞
word count: 8.3k | masterlist
content: depressed!mase, mental health issues, miscommunication, angst & fluffy end
“You’re breaking up with me?” you asked, confused.
You had just returned from the grocery shop when Mason told you he wanted to talk. You were surprised he was awake, lately your boyfriend was often so tired he would come back from training and sleep until he had to leave again, so you should’ve assumed that what was coming wasn’t good.
“It’s not like this” he muttered. “I just want us to take a break”
You laughed sarcastically, not knowing how to deal with what you were feeling.
“A break? Wow. What the fuck do you mean, Mason?”
“This is for the best, Y/N” Mason sighed, looking tired. “I want the best for you”
“For the best? Oh my God, I just moved in with you. I left everything behind. I have no friends here, I have no job. I followed you because Manchester was what you needed, and you’re asking me for a break?” you laughed again, trying to hold the tears.
After two years dating Mason, seeing the man you love in the verge of tears asking you for a break was the last thing you expected to see when you just moved together.
“You don’t get it” he rested his face on his hands, breathing deeply. He knows you wouldn't understand — you’re not inside his messy mind. But he wished you could at least believe he would always do what’s best for you, and right now he’s not. Right now, he’s the worst person you could have by your side.
“You’re right, I don’t. I don’t get why the man I love is standing in front of me telling me he doesn’t want me anymore” you felt a single hot tear spilling down your face and cleaned it aggressively. “That I’m not the woman he loves anymore”
“It’s not like that, Y/N! Please… of course I still want you, and that’s why I’m doing this. I’m sorry that I don’t know how to explain”
You frowned, not believing that he was telling you he loves you while breaking up with you. You felt pathetic.
“There’s no need. I’ll just need a few days so I can get my things” you kept holding your tears, trying to show you had everything handled.
Mason’s face dropped, and even though you didn’t notice, his hands were shaking.
“You don’t- you can stay here. I wouldn’t ask you to leave, you moved with me. This house is yours too” he tried to change your mind and you laughed sarcastically at his words.
“This house is anything but mine”
“You don’t need to spend money moving somewhere else, please, stay”
“What the hell, Mason? Do you want me to move to the guest room? Want me to be your distant cousin when you start bringing girls here?” you exploded, screaming and pointing him a finger.
“I would never” he shook his head. “I would never bring anyone here”
“Right, so you want me to stay here to hear when you come back drunk after you fucked them somewhere else”
“Y/N, this is not-”
“I’ll accept your offer whilst I see how I’ll move back to London” you interrupted him, wanting to get out of his view quickly. “Goodnight, Mason”
—
You didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you crying, so as soon as you grabbed most of your stuff in his bedroom you locked yourself in the guest room and finally let your emotions take control.
What the hell has just happened?
Why did the guy you felt was your soulmate just broke up with you after two years of promising you the world?
It felt like Mason had just realised what you’ve been fearing since you’ve met: you’re not enough for him. His lifestyle doesn’t match yours, the amount of money he has, the places he needs to be.
You’re just a girl from Portsmouth, whilst Mason it’s Portsmouth’s star.
Before you could notice, you were crying loudly, strong sobs cutting your breath.
Mason knocked on the door, trying to open before realising it was locked.
“Y/N- can we talk? Please, baby”
“Don’t call me baby” you screamed at the closed door, hugging your pillow tighter. “I can’t even ask you to go away because we’re in your fucking house, the least you can do is leave me alone”
Mason felt his heart aching. In his head, the spiral of thoughts made so much more sense, but from the moment he said them out loud he knew he fucked up.
But he also knows he couldn’t take it back. You deserve more than he’s capable of offering to you right now, and he knows he can’t keep dragging you down with him.
Giving you the space you needed, he walked to his room — yous room, and tried to sleep in his cold and empty bed, but the way you were crying kept stabbing his heart.
And even though he was aware that was his fault, the need to hold you and comfort you kept him awake.
—
When you woke up, Mason had already left for training, and you thanked the universe for that.
You walked to the kitchen, looking for ice to help you with your puffy eyes, and something light to eat. You were still feeling nauseous and too sad to eat a proper meal, so you grabbed a few grapes and a tiny bottle of juice.
After eating, you tried to go to Mason’s room to pick up any stuff you might have left there the night before, but the vision of his door made you feel like throwing up. How the fuck you were supposed to face this whilst living in the same house as him?
Why the fuck he would ask you that?
You realised that questioning the whole thing and trying to find answers in an empty house wouldn’t help you move out quicker, so you went back to the guest room and took a shower, trying to start a fresh new day.
With your fresh set of pyjamas and your laptop, you went downstairs to grab a bottle of your favourite cold tea and sat on the couch and started looking for ways to reorganise your life.
You looked for a few jobs, so you could move as soon as possible, and also took the time to search for a few universities. When you met Mason you had just finished high school and were enjoying life a bit before going for college since your job was nice and it gave you the chance to do a lot of things.
But then, he told you about moving, and none of you wanted to be far apart so you left everything behind and followed you.
Mason never made you feel bad about moving with him without having money to help. In fact, he’d always been supportive, encouraging you to stop looking for a job and getting in college instead.
Even now, he’s not even asking for you to leave his house, always acting like what is his, it’s yours too.
But if you never felt good living on his money, then now you feel even worse.
You want a new job, and you want to go to college. And you’ll do both.
—
It was a tough week.
You ignored Mason, Mason tried to give you privacy, you got mad at Mason for giving you privacy because it was like he was trapped in his own house and Mason had no idea how to fix what he just broke.
Between all of it, you were still looking for a job and applying to your favourite universities, cleaning the house when you could and cooking Mason’s meals.
Seeing that you were still making him breakfast and dinner every day made him feel even worse. Every time he was back from training, he entered his room wanting to cuddle and to let you comfort him, but then he was taken aback with the realisation of what he did.
To be fair, you know Mason tried to talk to you a few times, and even slept by your door one night since you wouldn’t unlock it when he was home.
But you were hurt. Really hurt. You know he’s been facing a hard time, but the fact he wanted a break from you made you insecure. It broke the blind trust you had in him.
It didn’t help that in the same week the tabloids instantly started talking about Mason and a mysterious girl, questioning if he was single or if he was cheating, and the fans started coming to your profiles, asking you about him.
It was such a coincidence the news talking about it in the same week he dumped you, that it was obvious for you that he was probably seen with someone else. With another girl.
So you drowned in study, only leaving your room to cook and to run outside for a few minutes, trying to focus on yourself and remain healthy even though your heart was falling apart.
During the day it was easier since you were alone at home. The nights were the worst.
Knowing he was there, but not with you. Not being able to talk with your favourite person, to hear about his day. Not being able to cuddle to sleep, to hold his face in your hands.
And knowing that he was the reason why you weren’t able to love on him.
By the second week, you were a wrecking mess.
Gossip pages kept talking about Mason and this girl, that you don’t know who it is. You only left your room when he was at training or at a game, locking the door when he was at home, and the only way you knew about him was through Man United’s social media.
On a particular night, you had cooked his dinner and headed to your room, taking a long shower and getting ready for bed. You had just chosen what you would watch when your phone started buzzing with a FaceTime call from Mason’s brother.
Sighing, you accepted the call and waited for him to talk.
“Y/N? Hey, I’m sorry I’m calling you kinda late, but it’s everything okay?” Lewis’ concerned face filled the screen and you recognised his car. “Mason is not answering since this morning and I’m starting to worry, we’re getting there so I wanted to be sure he’s at home”
Lewis had no idea, but his words brought the worst kind of panic to your heart. You jumped out of the bed without even answering him and rushed outside, unlocking your door and running to the other side of the corridor before opening Mason’s room door to see that his bed was empty and messy.
Running downstairs with your heart in your mouth, you entered the living room in a rush, stopping suddenly when a group of men entered your view. Shaw, Rashford, Höjlund and McTominay were playing video games and eating snacks, but Mason was nowhere to be seen.
“Y/N? We woke you up?” Luke seemed surprised, instantly getting on his feet and approaching you. “Mase told us you were out this night, I’m sorry if we disturbed you”
When you didn’t answer, Rashford got on his feet too.
“You’re pale, Y/N. It’s everything alright? Do you need anything?”
You looked around, feeling lost in the place you used to call home, Lewis forgotten in your phone.
“What’s wrong?” Mason showed up coming from the kitchen and taking a few seconds to notice you were there. The sight of your confused face and the bags under your eyes made his heart hurt. He hadn’t seen you in so long… “Y/N-”
“Lewis is trying to talk to you” you murmured, giving a quick smile to his teammates before heading upstairs, back to your room.
When you finally closed the door, your entire body began to shake, your heart having difficulties to process that he was fine and nothing that you imagined had actually happened.
The anxiety and panic you’ve felt minutes before got the best of you and you try to make it to your bed, falling a few steps before reaching it.
“Hey” Lewis’ alarmed voice reminded you he was still in the call. “What’s wrong? You’re on the floor? Wait, why did you enter the guest room? Y/N, what’s happening? Jaz, can you take my phone and talk to her please”
You tried to answer him, but everything that left your lips were heavy sobs and grunts, your hips hurting from the fall. When Jaz’s face showed up, you felt the urge to let it all go like you’d with your sister — a sister you don’t have.
“Y/N you need to breathe. Breath with me” she tried to keep your attention on her while, noticing how uneven your breath was. “Can you tell me what happened?”
You shook your head, still feeling like you were choking on your tears. “I’m sorry. I thought ‘well, it must be bad if he’s not answering his own brother’, and then the possibilities terrified me”
“It’s okay, He’s okay, isn’t he?” Jaz calmed you, and you nodded. “Good. Now, keep breathing. What happened? Why does it seem like you’re having a panic attack?”
“I don’t know if I should talk about this with his sister, Jaz”
“Don’t be silly, I just wanna help you. I’m like your big sister too, aren’t I?”
“I miss you” you sighed, pouting like a kid.
“We’re almost there, my love. Do you think you can open the door for us?”
You tried to get on your feet and the pain was instant.
“I can’t, actually. My hip hurts”
“Hurts like you’ll need painkillers or like you can’t actually get up?” Lewis’ voice could be heard, and you attempted to get up.
“I don’t know” you whined. “Like I can’t get up, I think”
“Do you want me to call an ambulance?” Jaz asked, concerned, but you were quick to say no.
“No! No, his name will be everywhere tomorrow”
“He wouldn’t care if it’s for you, Y/N”
“Now he might, I don’t know”
“What do you mean?” Jaz frowned at you.
You figured out there was no need to hide from them, once they’d found out as soon as they saw Mason, so you shrugged.
“We broke up”
“What? Why?” she looked more confused that yourself that night.
“I don’t know. He asked for a break, but I don’t do breaks. Why would you need a break from someone you love? So you can be with someone else without feeling guilty? And then the tabloides…”
“Yeah, we saw it. That’s why we’re coming over, we we’re worried about how he’s dealing with it”
“I don’t think he’s too worried about it” you sighed, telling them the last few weeks and what just happened in the living room.
“And he hadn’t followed you to see how you are? What if we weren’t coming over, would you lay hurt on the floor forever?” you could hear Lewis’ voice, and your cheeks got red.
“I’ve been locking myself when he’s at home, so he hadn’t had the chance to talk to me even when he tried to”
“Y/N… communication is the key” Jaz told you.
“I know, but this is not the time to talk about it”
“Fine. We’re here” Lewis announced, turning off the engine.
—
“Lewis?” Mason opened the door, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
Thankfully, the boys had already left and Mason was alone in the living room.
“Goodnight Mase. Can I talk with Y/N?”
“Oh, so” he scratched his neck, not ready to talk about it yet. “About this, there’s something I need to tell you”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll go to her room real quick, yeah?”
“She’s not in our room. And she doesn’t unlock the door when I’m home”
“She will unlock it for me, don’t worry” Lewis tapped his shoulder before heading to the guest room.
“Have you talked to her?” Mason frowned, following his brother. You could hear they talking and you hid your face with your arm so Mason couldn’t see you’ve been crying.
“Hey Y/N, it’s Lewis. Jaz is in the car, can I take you to her?”
You nodded, groaning when he lifted you up.
“What happened?” Mason asked, but no one answered him. “Y/N? Are you hurt?”
You could feel the desperation in his voice, but you had no strength to talk. Lewis put you in the car, where Jaz instantly hugged you, before going back inside to take your stuff.
“What the hell are you doing?” Mason asked, watching Lewis looking for something in his bedroom’s bathroom.
“Taking Y/N’s stuff, she’s going back to Portsmouth with me and Jaz”
After taking what he needed from Mason’s room, he went to the guest room to take only the essential things he thought you could need.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m taking her out of this house. I won’t let you treat her like that” Lewis kept talking with a firm tone whilst taking your skincare products and then looking for a few pieces of clothes. “She can stay at mum’s for a while”
Mason’s eyes widened. “No. No, you’re not” he tried to take your stuff from Lewis’ hands.
His brother gave him a look and Mason stopped immediately. He wanted Lewis to scream at him, and the fact he was talking low and contained was killing Mason.
“Try me, Mason Mount” Lewis whispered. “We all know you’re going through something, and you know how much I love you, but this is not an excuse. I thought you would ask her for help. Find comfort in her to get through this. But asking for a break? Going out and hooking up with other girls while she’s still living with you? Do you have any idea how she was when we found her?”
Mason stayed silent, so Lewis kept talking.
“Jaz wanted to call the ambulance, if this can make you understand why she’s coming with us”
Mason’s eyes watered and he wanted to explain better, tell his brother that he never hooked up with other girls and why he asked you for a time, but he should’ve done this days ago — Lewis wouldn’t hear him now. Neither would you.
“It’s not like that, Lewis, I never hooked up with anyone-“ he shook his head, but his brother headed to the door without paying attention.
Mason ran to block his way, receiving a flat look, and Lewis sighed. “You don’t have to make this more difficult than it already is, Mase. She’s coming with me”
“No!” Mason screamed at his face, and it was obvious how unbalanced the younger one was. “She’s not”
“Mason, I’m your brother and I will never let go of your hand, but you need to calm down and think about what you want. I‘ll call you tomorrow so we can talk, alright?” Lewis kissed Mason’s forehead and walked to his car with your bag.
Mason’s heart broke in a million pieces seeing you huddled in the back seat, Jaz’s body cuddling yours. His eyes watered when he called your name and you didn’t look at him, your shoulders shaking.
How the hell did he ruin his entire life in just two weeks?
When his brother started the car, Mason instantly picked up his phone and texted Luke.
—
The ride back to Portsmouth was long and you slept through most of it, not even realising when Jaz and Lewis switched places so he could rest too.
“Since it’s Friday night we’re all in our family’s house” Jaz told you as soon as she saw your eyes open. “Do you mind coming with us? I can book an hotel if it’s too much for you, being with his family”
“No, I’d love to spend some time with you all. You know how much I love your family, Jaz”
“We love you a lot, too. Especially Summer, but the whole family loves you” Jaz giggled, thinking about how happy Summer will get just by seeing you.
“The whole family but my boyfriend” you laughed,
“I’m sure we’ll understand what’s going on tomorrow, Y/N. Lewis will talk to him”
You shrugged, feeling too tired to debate. Jaz helped you settle in one of the guest rooms, and since it was in the middle of the night you didn’t see anyone.
By the morning, everybody was really happy to see you, and explaining the whole thing to Debbie was the worst part of it.
“I don’t know what’s happening with him” she told you with a sad tone. “I’m not trying to defend him, Y/N, please no. I’m just so worried. He doesn’t answer our calls anymore, barely answer our texts, doesn’t want to come visit”
“It’s just a hard time, Debbie. I know he misses you and his old life, he misses London and his friends. It’s been a rough time for him” you smiled softly. “I think he’s just feeling lost, and maybe I just didn’t made him feel settled there”
“Still, this is not an excuse to do what he did” Lewis interrupted, sitting on the other sofa. “If he’s lost, if he’s struggling, if he’s sad, he needs help. Pushing you aside it’s not the answer. No when you left your life for him. You lost things too”
“Lewis is right, you left everything behind. He is not obligated to stay with you just out of gratitude, but if he wanted to end things then he should’ve done it in a better way” Debbie nodded. “I think I should visit him so we can have a talk”
“I called him this morning” Lewis sighed. “I think he needs real help, mum. But we’ll help him, yeah?”
He kissed Debbie’s head, but Jaz frowned at him.
“What do you mean with real help?” she asked, sighing too when Lewis shrugged. “I think we shouldn’t have left him alone”
“Yeah, we shouldn’t have, but he’s okay. Shaw talked to me about half an hour ago. Jaz, can we talk real quick?”
Once they left you alone with Debbie and Summer, you tried to play with the little one and give her attention. When she asked why you were there, you told her that uncle Mason and you had a little fight, but that everything was okay.
“Oh” Summer gasped. “This is why uncle Mase told me he was sad?”
You frowned, suddenly worried. Mason never let his nieces get in the middle of adult problems, so you pulled Summer closer and kissed her head.
“What do you mean, baby girl? What did Uncle Mase have told you?”
“That he was feeling really, really sad, and that he was hurt” she pouted, pointing to her forehead. “Here”
You tried to keep focused on her, but you could only think about Mason, your heart aching just from thinking about what ‘really, really sad” meant.
When the adults were back, Summer was practically sleeping so Lewis took her and left you and Jaz alone.
“I’ll have this conversation with you, because I see how bad you’re hurting and I care too much about you. But I’m not trying to say he’s not wrong, or that you should forgive him just because of his condition, this is not what I think at all and-”
“Jaz! Just say it” you interrupted her, your heart racing in your chest.
“We think Mase has been in a depressed state. Not depressive yet, but it won’t take long if nothing changes”
“Alright” you took a deep breath, already feeling guilty that his siblings stayed by your side and that the three of you left him alone at home. “What do we do now?”
“We?” Jaz asked. “Are you sure?”
“We know Mason, Jaz. Of course I’m hurt, especially by the fact he preferred asking for a break instead of asking for help, but I’m not letting him by himself when he needs me the most”
“There’s not much we can do” she sighed, and you imagined how hard it was probably being to his siblings, seeing their baby boy in a state like this. “Lewis talked to Shaw and they decided to take Mase to the club’s doctor. It’s a start, but Mason needs to want help for this to work”
You nodded, feeling overwhelmed by a feeling you couldn’t even explain. He’s facing a hard time - but he’s alive, and as long as he’s still here, he can face this.
And despite being worried about him, knowing that the way he acted wasn’t entirely his fault took the part of the weight out of your shoulder. Even though his actions were still hurting, the truth is that you’d always be patiently waiting for him to be better.
For him to come back.
Before you went to bed that night, your phone buzzed with a single text, your heart trying to jump out of your chest whilst your entire body ached with the urge of holding your boy again.
—
Two months later, you were still missing him like crazy.
You never answered that text, simply because you had nothing to say. It was a promise, and you were waiting for him to keep it.
Since you left Manchester, Lewis would send you a message every morning saying “Mase is asking about you, do I have permission to tell him anything?”, and the answer would always be “as long as you tell me how he is”.
Even though you were still feeling hurt, the answers always made you smile. “He started therapy today” and “he’s back at training” were the ones you loved the most to know. And, of course, the fact he asked about you every single day warmed your heart.
Lewis told you that the only reason why Mason hadn’t visited yet nor sent you any message was because he only wanted to talk with you when he was feeling more like himself again, and you respected it.
Of course you’d be there for him if he asked you, but deep down you wanted to see your Mason — not the one who asked you for a break.
So, since the day Jaz and Lewis brought you to Portsmouth you’ve been at Debbie’s house. She and Tony took care of you, giving you space every time you needed but also supporting you to go out a bit, study outside or even hang out with them. You also started a remote job, and it felt like the only thing left for you to be fully happy was for Mason to be good.
You discovered that the family used to reunite every weekend, so they could have lunch together — and, when Mason is playing, so they can watch him. By every weekend, you felt more part of the family, and the fear that maybe Mason meant it that night, that maybe he won’t want you around even when he feels better, started to grow inside you.
One of those weekends, almost four months that you left Manchester, Summer wanted to go to the park before lunch and most of the family followed her and Jaz. You stayed at home with Tony so you could keep an eye on a sleepy Mila, since Jaz didn’t want to wake her up.
You were in the living room, watching Mila’s peaceful sleep when someone knocked at the front door and Tony left the kitchen saying “I got this”. You chuckled at how cute and sweet he always is, but then found it weird when he didn't return with whoever was knocking, making your way to check if everything was alright.
“Dad, please. I just wanna talk with her” you stopped in your tracks, feeling goosebumps all over your body. There’s no way you could not know this voice.
“I don’t know if she wants the same, Mase. Let me check, alright? I’ll just ask real quick” Tony told him, and you appreciated that he thought about your well being. If you didn’t want to talk with Mason — which you do, it could turn into a mess if he let him enter without warming you.
“Tony, c’mon” Mason snorted, and you know he’s impatient. “That’s my girl. I just need to see her”
Tony stared at Mason for a few seconds and you bit a smile, quickly stepping into their vision field.
“It’s alright. Can you give us a moment?” you touched his shoulder, and the way Mason’s eyes shimmered when he saw you made your tummy flutter.
“Of course. Kid, you’re staying for lunch?”
“Yeah” he nodded, eyes not leaving you.
“So you better come help me when you finished your talk” Tony teased, kissing Mason’s head before heading to the kitchen.
There was a few seconds of silence before Mason shook his head.
“Sorry I didn’t text you, I was trying not to think about it so I wouldn’t give up. But I owe you an explanation” he bit his lower lip, and you could tell by his breath that he was trying not to cry. “Would you- could you listen? Even though this doesn’t change anything, I just need to know that you know what happened”
“C’mon, let’s go to the living room” you smiled, your heart pounding with the sad expression on his face, but then he smiled and followed you. “Why you’re not in Manchester right now? I thought you had a game tomorrow”
“I asked for a day, so I could come and talk to you” Mason shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big thing.
“Mason! You’re just back in the squad, you can’t ask for a day” you scolded, crossing your arms and turning back at him.
“It’s okay, I need a break and they’ll probably say I just have food poisoning or something like this. How do you know I’m back in the squad?” he smirked, sitting first so you could choose if you wanted to sit next to him or not.
You wish you were stronger, but you missed him so much that sitting across the room felt wrong, so you sat beside him.
“Knowing” you rolled your eyes. “So, what’s so important that you couldn’t wait?”
There were a few more seconds in silence, but it didn’t bother you. You know, from Lewis’ daily updates, how difficult it has been for Mason to get on track again, so you let him go at his own pace.
“You” he played with his fingers, trying to keep his hands to himself. “I couldn’t wait to see you. The idea that I’m losing you a little bit more everyday that you spend without an explanation is killing me. I know the blame is on me and I have no right to ask you anything, but here I am asking you to try to understand, because I miss you”
You felt your eyes watering, so you blinked away the tears.
“I miss you too, but..”
“Don’t say it” he interrupted you, shaking his head and looking away. You could tell when he was on the verge of tears, and the sudden change in his mood got you worried.
“What?”
“I don’t wanna know. If you don’t love me anymore, please don’t tell me” he pleaded, fingers fidgeting the hem of his shirt.
“Don’t be silly” you reached for his hand, intertwining your pinkies to distract him from whatever he was feeling. “I already understand what happened, yeah? I don’t blame you”
“You should” Mason shrugged.
“It’s just…” you ignored what he said. “I think it’s hard for me to just suddenly open my heart for you again? I know you were in a dark space and it wasn’t your fault and you didn’t mean to hurt me but it did. It hurt a lot”
Mason squeezed your hand and his shaky breath broke made your heart ache.
“I’m sorry”
“I know you are. Wanna tell me what happened? How were you feeling that night?”
It took him a few seconds to answer, but the silence wasn’t weird anymore. You’ve known each other for a while now, and even though the Mason you left weeks ago pushed you away, he doesn’t look like this one.
This one looks like your Mason.
“I don’t know how to describe it” he started. “But the last six months have been hard. First, I’m sorry I lied to you about this for four months, and I’m sorry I wasn’t being honest every time you asked me if I was good. I do trust you, and I know I should’ve told you, but I was scared”
You squeezed his hand to tell him it was okay without interrupting him, waiting for him to continue.
“It started with a few and normal insecurities, things everybody feels. ‘What if I’m not what the team is expecting, what if I fail here, what if I’m not good enough’. And then it escalated so fast. I started skipping meals because they didn’t look interesting, sleeping from the moment I got home to the moment I needed to leave for training, not actually wanting to talk with anyone. And I know you thought I was just tired and dealing with a lot, so please don’t feel guilty about it”
Too late, you thought. How haven’t you noticed that the man you love was struggling?
“The only thing that kept me going was you. You were the only person I still wanted to see, the only voice that wouldn’t annoy me. But soon I started thinking that if I really love you so much then I should let you go, because you were stuck with an unhappy man. A man that wasn’t taking you on date nights anymore, a man that wasn’t giving you attention. A man that wasn’t even making love with you”
“Lack of sex never bothered me” you murmured, incapable of keeping silent. Mason gave you a sad smile and nodded.
“I know. I know, because you never pushed me. And now I know that if you were so kind thinking I was stressed and busy with work, you would’ve helped me if I had just told you how I was feeling. But the only thing my mind could think is that you deserved better, Better than me” he started biting his nails, so you took his other hand in yours too. “But still I was so selfish that even though you deserved better, and wanted you around. I was so scared that you would actually find ‘the better’ as soon as you left our house. When Lewis took you, I don’t know. I think it was the worst day of my existence”
“He had good intentions”
“I’m glad he took you, now. I was so involved in my own misery that I couldn’t see how bad it was affecting you. He told me that that day Jaz almost called an ambulance because you were on the verge of a panic attack. I’m so sorry. Do you know I never hooked up with anyone, don’t you?”
You nodded, remembering that Lewis told you what happened. A female fan, a paparazzi. It was enough to build the narrative.
“It’s okay, Mase” you smiled, hurt more by the miscommunication than anything else.
“No, it’s not” he started playing with your fingers and you let him. “God, I should’ve told you. Asked you for help, reassurance, anything”
“A damaged brain doesn’t work properly, Mason. Stop blaming yourself for how you reacted. Yeah, it hurted me and of course in an ideal world you would ask for help and I’d help you, but it’s not how it happened so let’s not stick to the past, alright?” you told him with a gentle tone, stroking his hand with your thumb. “What has happened since Lewis brought me here?”
“I called Luke and told him everything. Like, everything. The dark thoughts and how I treated you and he refused to let me alone. I think he was afraid, so he picked me up and made me sleep at his house. Lewis called me by morning and we had a chat, but everything was so cloudy and I couldn’t make decisions. Anouska was the one who told Luke what to do, so he talked to Lewis himself, put me in the car and took me to the club’s therapist. I’ve been seeing him since”
Mason took a deep breath, and you could feel his hands shaking.
“I know I hurt you, and there’s not a single day from the past four months that I don’t feel like pushing my face for it, and I’m so sorry I made your days harder and sadder, and if I could I’d let you live your life away from me so you could be happy with someone who won’t hurt you, but I can’t. I can’t live without you and I just need one more chance so I can make it up to you” he finally looked at you again. “That’s what I’m here for. I want another chance, Y/N. In your own pace and you can decide everything, but please”
You observed his pinky cheeks and shy gaze, smiling when he looked away.
“Are you shy?” you teased, amused that you were still capable of making him feel like a teenager.
“Stop, this is already hard enough” he groaned, making you laugh.
“Sorry” you smiled. “I guess I can accept your offer. First date when?”
“Oh- uh- I was-” he stuttered, and you bit a smile. “Wanna go to my next game?”
“We’re starting over, aren’t we? You shouldn’t bring someone who’s not even your girlfriend to your game” you teased again, giggling when his cheeks got even more redder.
“But I want you to be my girlfriend” he pouted, and his sincerity made your entire body heat. He was still your precious boy, after all.
“You’ll need to win your position back” you shrugged, and Mason was still pouting. “So, first date first”
“Come back to Manchester” his pout grew bigger and you wanted to kiss him, but you held yourself back.
“Mase! I just said you’ll have to win your position back and you want me to live with you?” you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.
“No! I’ll pay for your hotel” his cheeks were burning. “I just need you around. Plus, how am I supposed to take you on a date if you’re too far away from me?”
“Fair enough. I’ll think about it” you winked, but Mason knows you too well to find out the answer by your smile.
“Lunch is ready” Tony screamed from the kitchen and you got on your feet, still holding his hands.
“Come here” you asked him, smiling when he shyly got closer. “I’m really proud of you, Mason. Even though you needed help to get to a doctor, staying and getting better was your decision”
“Thank you”
“Now let’s eat” you kissed the bridge of his nose and led him to the kitchen, holding his hand.
Tony smiled when he saw Mason’s pinky face and your hands intertwined, but you appreciated his silence about it.
When you heard the unmistakable Summer’s voice screaming ‘that’s uncle Mase’s car’, you knew you were back at home again — or, at least, very, very close.
—
The damn hotel was booked the next morning. Mason spent the night at his parents’, but in a different room, saying that ‘you won’t sleep in the same bed as someone who’s not your boyfriend yet’ — and it was your turn to pout.
By the morning, you were coming back to Manchester with him. It felt weird at first, and leaving the comfort of his parents’ house where you know they’d take care of you was scary, but Mason proved you had nothing to be scared of.
He drove whilst you watched movies and played video games on his big television, telling him you liked his new car.
“Glad you liked it, we’ll use it a lot” was his answer, and something in his tone made you blush before getting back to play.
When he left you in your hotel, Mason warned you he needed to sleep and take care of a few things, but told you to be ready by 7pm.
Mason was punctual, waiting for you exactly at seven. He kissed your forehead, not before making you feel undressed by his gaze, and gave you his arm to hold.
The restaurant was really close so he asked you if you wanted to walk and you accepted. The weather was nice and you loved walking, taking advantage of the situation to press your body against Mason’s.
There wasn’t much to say, so the pair of you walked in silence just enjoying each other’s existence. When you got to the restaurant and the waiter guided you to the reservation, Mason was instantly shy.
“What’s wrong?” you asked him with a teasing smile, not used to how shy he was around you even after so long.
“What are we supposed to talk about? We already know each other” he bit his bottom lip, eyes dragging down your body again. “And your dress makes me nervous”
“Why are you so silly?’ you groaned, and it was your turn to blush. “You can tell me what I’ve lost the last couple of months”
“Fine. I’m back in the squad and they said I can start next week. I also have therapy once a week now and we’re trying natural medicine” he told you shyly, the pinky cheeks you love showing up. “He told me I was in a depressed state but he could help me, and he’s helping”
“This makes me incredibly happy, Mase” you squeezed his hand over the table, his face turning even more red. “I’m genuinely so proud of you, and I hope you know there’s no shame in asking for help and taking medicine. And even though he is indeed helping you, you’re doing the hard job”
“Thank you” he smiled, holding your hand. “Now your turn. What have I lost?”
“I’ve been studying a lot” you smiled, not knowing how to tell him the news. “And some universities kinda accepted me?”
“Really? This is amazing babe, you know I’ve always thought you were the most intelligent person I’ve ever met”
It was true, Mason always told you how intelligent you were, and even though receiving compliments made you really shy, you were blushing for another reason, the way the pet name slipped through his lips like he never stopped using them with you.
“Yeah, one in Manchester, two in London and another one in Barcelona”
“Great. You’re so fucking good, it’s insane how you always makes me proud. Are you going to one of them?” he praised you, making your face burn with shame — and something else.
“I want to, but I haven’t decided to which one yet”
You had, actually.
“As long as you choose the one you really wants, I’ll be happy for you” he raised an eyebrow, demonstrating that he meant it.
“Even though it’s far away from you?” you asked nervously and Mason instantly picked up on what you were thinking.
“Y/N, look at me” he asked you, only speaking again when your eyes were locked on his. “I lived four months of my life away from you and the worst wasn’t being away from you. It was knowing why we were far away from each other. As long as you’re mine, distance it’s just a detail”
You squeezed his hand over the table, trying to bite a smile. After dinner and a few conversations about everything and anything in particular, Mason paid the bill and asked you to take you home.
“Do you mean, to my hotel room?” you giggled, hugging his arm.
The walk back was light and you felt your chest warm, the happiness of having Mason back — but more important, the happiness of seeing that Mason also got his true self back, overwhelming you.
When the pair of you stopped in front of the hotel, you hugged Mason’s waist.
“Thank you. It was really nice”
“It was nice to me too” he kissed your forehead, smiling bigger when you raised your face to look him in the eyes. After a few seconds staring into them, Mason brushed his nose against yours. “Kissing on a first date it’s acceptable for you? I miss your kisses”
“You’re making things difficult for me, you know? I’m trying to make you wait” you giggled, your smile so wide it was hurting your cheeks.
“I don’t wanna wait” he whined before kissing your jaw. “But, I know I deserve to wait. So I see ya next week?”
“Wait” you pushed his jacket when he started to distance from your body, bringing him closer. “I kinda had a rough time before our date. Would you mind-”
“You’re inviting me over on our first date?” Mason teased, his hand now stroking your jaw.
“Mase” you groaned, making him giggle.
“Cuddles and ice cream?” he murmured, stroking your cheek and your eyes watered a bit to the fact he still knows what you like to do when you’re slightly upset.
“And you’ll have to watch This Is Us”
“Oh no” he groaned playfully, as if he wasn’t dying to have this exact type of night with you. “You can’t tell anyone if I cry”
“Deal” you smiled, guiding him to your room.
Of course he ordered a few ice cream flavours, not letting you pay for any, and tucked himself in bed with you, trying to find a comfortable and respectful position.
You’ve always loved being in Mason’s arms and he never failed to make you feel secure whilst he was holding you, and soon the pair of you were practically sleeping.
So after countless episodes and a sleepy Mason you turned off the television and searched for a more comfortable position, laying your head on his shoulder and crossing his body with your upper leg.
At that moment, it felt like nothing ever happened. That you were still the sweet couple that moved to Manchester chasing his dreams.
But something did happened, and the memory brought tears to your eyes. Since that day you’ve never cried to Mason anymore, and you miss the way he used to comfort you and tell you things would be fine. It was your safe space to show emotions, and now you’re slightly afraid of crying in his arms again.
“I’m so sorry” Mason whispered, anticipating what you were feeling and breaking the silence. When you started crying he kissed your head, hugging you tight.
Seeing you cry was always the hardest for him, and knowing damn well it was his fault only made it worse.
“I’m sorry too, for not being there for you. I’ve been thinking about it since Portsmouth and fuck, I feel so stupid. How the fuck I didn’t noticed” you tried to speak, choking on your words.
“No” he kissed your forehead one more time. “Absolutely not, this is not your fault. I was dumb, I didn’t ask for help, I pushed you away when all you did was love me. You shouldn’t feel guilty about how I dealt with it”
“How are you feeling now?” you murmured, running your fingers through his chest and trying to make the tears stop from falling. “You can be honest with me, you know”
Mason caressed your lower back, sighing and thinking for a moment.
“Happy, honestly. I’m happy, Y/N. I know I’ve fucked up with you and that we’re only here right now because you have the most generous heart, but I’m so happy that I’m here. I’m happy about the treatment, I’m happy at the club, and even though I don’t know how our future will be and if you’ll ever gonna be mine again, I’m happy that I got to hold you tonight”
“I’m not gonna lie to you, what happened hurt me a lot. But I’m also pretty good at understanding the other side, and I understand yours. I understand how scared you must’ve felt, how lost and confused” you kissed his chest over the fabric of his shirt. “There wasn’t a single day that I didn’t miss being your girl”
“I don’t wanna hurt you ever again”
“But you will. And I bet I’ll hurt you sometimes. Relationships are like this, baby, but as long as we didn’t mean it then we can always talk about it and get back on track”
“So this means we’re back?” Mason whispered, afraid he got it wrong and you were about to say no.
“If I say yes now then I’m really bad at making you wait” you giggled, kissing his shoulder. “Maybe in two more dates?”
Mason nodded, snuggling further into you.
“I missed this so much” he murmured, holding you so tight it was almost like you were the same person.
“Snuggling?” you changed your positions so he could lay on top of you and scratched his hair.
“Yes” he nodded again. “And you calling me baby”
You laughed, kissing the tip of his nose.
“I never wanted to stop, you know”
“I know. You’ll never have to stop ever again” he reassured you, his fingers stroking your waist.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll be your baby forever” he kissed your neck, squeezing your body tighter and pulling his face away so he could look in your eyes. “But I said what I said, you deserve better”
You sighed, not wanting to debate this again
“Mase, don’t-”
“Shhh” he silenced you with a peck on your lips, making you smile. “So I’ll be better for you”
You stared at him for a few seconds, observing the silly smile he was giving you after stealing a kiss, the way his eyes were burning your skin and how closer to you he got by every second.
“I guess maybe that kiss doesn’t have to wait two more dates” you murmured, feeling genuinely happy when he instantly kissed you properly for the first time in so long.
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been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)
sneaky - j.f. x reader
a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..
pairing : joao felix x fem!reader
word count : 2.3k
summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.
cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry
---
you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.
the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.
hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.
you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.
very close to a certain mr felix.
the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.
it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).
from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.
joaofelix79 : u got home safe?
ynsusername : ofc i did
ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me
joaofelix79 : that's good.
you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.
you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.
eventually, you two started hanging out alone.
not anything crazy, of course.
joaofelix79 : hey
joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place
joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat
how could you refuse that?
it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.
"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.
"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.
"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.
from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.
eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.
12:03 am - joao : wyd
12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol
12:04 am - joao : dont bother
12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place
12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats
of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.
and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.
"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.
"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.
"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.
you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.
that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.
his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.
you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.
you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.
but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.
---
"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"
the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.
across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.
one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-
"isn't that right, y/n?"
alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.
"hmm? sorry?"
"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.
"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.
you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.
"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.
the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.
he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.
joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.
it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.
you sent him a quick wink.
he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.
you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.
---
you couldn't take it anymore.
something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.
it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.
finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".
shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.
he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.
"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".
you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.
"nice dress.."
"just take it off."
---
you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.
joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.
it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.
your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.
"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.
you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.
you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.
he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.
"joao, we dont have time for this-"
"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.
"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"
he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.
"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)
you nodded and bit your lip.
he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.
"are you ready for me?" he teased.
"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.
joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"move for me, bebé."
you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.
he shuddered at the feeling.
you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.
"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.
after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.
he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.
your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.
"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.
"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.
his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.
joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.
you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.
"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"
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more rodrick PLSSSSS it can be anything
omg this is my first req ever and im so excited thank you!!
you wanted more Rodrick well here's more Rodrick.
part 2 out now!!
summary: Rodricks your best friend but thats not enough for you. As much as you hate to admit, you like the boy. That's why you show up drunk and high at one of his infamous house parties after he'd ranted to you about how he was so so in love with Heather Hills.
warnings: angst, heartache, kissing, Heather Hills, pining, weed, alcohol, crying, one sided love kinda, self hate
wc: 1k+
"She was so pretty."
"Oh yea?"
"No. I dont think you understand, like the way her hair smelled when she strut past me, the smell of..... smell of something light. Fresh! Pink even."
Rodrick practically had stars in his eyes when he described how his crush was at school. You'd be ecstatic if the crush was you, but the world is cruel so here you were talking about Heather Hills for the last hour or so.
"Y'know... I heard she spat on Louise last week. Poor kid, was dosed in her icky saliva for the whole day." Y/n was selfish but she tried to paint Heather in a bad light.
"Shit i'd pay good money for her to spit on me."
Well that backfired she thought.
"Freak" Y/n lightly laughed as she fell back onto Rodricks soft bed. Chest heaving up and down whilst her mind felt clouded.
"What can I say, love makes anyone a freak."
There was that word again. Love. How could he be bloody in love with little miss Heather Hills. The queen of highschool. The perfect girl. Pretty blondie. Pretty face. Y/n quickly began to realise there were plenty of reasons for Rodrick to crush on her. Y/n was a nobody. She thought her face ugly, her style wack, her eyes too uneven. She hated, hated, hated herself and wished she looked like Heather.
"Oh. My. God. I just had the best fucking idea" Rodrick exclaimed with the dorkiest smile he could produce, each fine line below the thickness of his eyebrows seen under the dim lighting of his room.
"Hmm?" Y/n buzzed as she basked in the coolness of his sheets
"M'gonna throw a party" "Heather would definitely come, i mean its one of my parties we're talking about."
Flashbacks to Rodrick's last party hit y/n's head like a train when she remembered how chaotic and horrible the experience was. Drunk teens shouting and chugging unknown beverages, shoulders brushing against shoulders constantly as she tried to find a room she could breath in without having to see another damn couple absolutely devouring eachother. Each and every minuscule second she'd spent in that house made her want to puke. The sight that made her want to puke the most was Rodrick's clearly drunk self throwing himself onto Heather, eyes sparkly with hope whilst she just sat there smiling so sweetly it was sickening.
Quickly she was sent back to reality.
"D'you think that's a good idea?" she questioned, tired.
"Course it is! she always comes to my things"
"Kay' whatever you think is gonna earn you your little dream girl specimen."
"Trust me, this times different." That's what he always said.
--------------------------------------
It's ok. It's ok. I-It's.... it's gonna be fine. she told herself as she admired the makeup she'd put on for tonight's occasion, she'd tried to copy one of Heathers famous looks, but quickly realised it didn't suit her skin so she stuck to her usual and hated herself for it. It was dreadfully the day of his party. The day that she'd have to witness him openly flirt with Heather just because he had an excuse to down a dozen bottles of cheap booze. She swiped a smear of lipstick that somehow ended up below her lip and sighed as she adjusted her shirt. Why do you always give in? Just confess you idiot. No! what the fuck am i thinking. she scrunched her nose and took a deep breath in, abusing her vanity with the pressure from the pads of her fingers.
She really really didn't want to go. She couldn't bare seeing Heather show up with her annoyingly perfect face, her perfect nose, her perfect hair, her stupidly sweet personality that everyone gaped over. Fuck it. She hated herself and wanted to forget that Rodrick even existed.
She found her not so hidden stash of weed she'd carelessly left under a pile of worksheets from her chemistry class, something ionic bonding. She didn't know how long it'd sat there for but it stained the ziplock bag a dull yellow. The bag was crinkled and smelled like the thought of Rodrick. Whenever she was upset or mad at Rodrick she'd smoke weed to drown the thoughts out but she slowly realised it was ruining the drug as a whole for her.
She rolled a joint in a random piece of paper she'd found thrown on her floor and lit up the end, taking a deep whiff of it, smile playing on her lips.
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"Animals.....Elephants....Tiguurrrsssss!" She slurred as she laid flat on her disheveled bed scrunching the sheets as her eyes formed stars around her ceiling. She got up abruptly, hair a mess and rubbed her eyes deepening the pressure with every second. "Rrrr... What time? Uggggh" She sighed as she reached for her phone. Her room was cloudy and smelled of green. Beside her were a few empty glasses so she took a sniff, curious. Happy juice? No, Vodka she thought. She saw the emptied out bottle of cheap convenience store alcohol by the side of her feet a long with the yellowed bag of weed which was empty. it'd been around 2 hours since she blacked out on her bed somehow thinking about how her fan looked like the shape of animals. Shit, fuck, ass, asshole! she muttered under her breath as she plopped back down.
"Why not? What's thurrr worst that could happennn?" she mumbled eyes fluttering as she picked up her bag and stumbled out her window, careful not to wake anyone. She took the route down the tree that always worked for her but in a clumsy fashion as she fumbled down the hard branches of her overgrown escape buddy. Craaack, Creeeeak. The continuous sounds made her annoyed. "Uggggfh can't everyone just shut up!!"
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There she was. Standing dumb, drunk and high in front of the booming house lit up by warm yellow light. She could already smell the familiar smell of cheap alcohol, body odour and weed. My kind of night she thought as she barely made her way to the entrance. There were already people outside partying like no tomorrow as some flipped their hair to some overplayed hip hop song that everyone knew. While some were more restricted, sipping on booze as they giggled with their friends. The true highschool experience y/n thought.
Bump.
"Hey! Watch it-"
"Y/n?"
It was someone with beautiful waves of blonde still visible from her clouded vision, pretty makeup and a perfect body. Heather.
"O-Oh hey Heather! Pretty little Heather Hills." Y/n slurred as her vision was still blurred
"Uhm... Y'alright?" She questioned looking back at her friends as if y/n was cuckoo.
"No. No. No. No! Y-you. You. You and your stupidly perfect self can go to hell!" y/n lashed out
"W-what? Y/n what the fuck is wrong with you?" Heather said clearly freaked out by the sudden aggression.
Tears started to cloud y/n's vision so she took in a deeeeep breath trying to suck in as much oxygen as she could.
"Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You- You're all he wants. Heather, heather, heather! My perfect little heather with her pretty little face!" Y/n cried out as her knees began to weaken. She had no sense of shame, embarrassment or anxiety. She was too blacked out for this. So blacked out she just blurted her deepest darkest thoughts.
A crowd began to form around them, some curious at the sudden shouting girl who was crumbling a part, vulnerable in front of some people she didn't even know the names of.
"W-what? What are you even saying y/n." Heather said confused and disturbed as she began to back away.
Warmth began to spread at the small of y/n's back. Rodricks hand.
"Y/n? Why the fuck are you screaming?- Y/n s-shit you're not alright." Rodrick hastily slung y/n's arm around his shoulder careful with her as if she was a piece of fine china.
"S-sorry bout' that Heaths, trust me she doesn't mean anything she's saying" Rodrick stutters clearly not drunk enough, nervous as he realises that Heather is clearly agitated.
"Y-yea. It's okay Rodrick. It's not your fault, just get her far from here kay?" Heather said with sympathy and those stupid doe eyes whilst placing a hand on his shoulder. This should've made him tremble with pleasure, but the fact that she'd talked about y/n as if she was a monster made him angry.
"Yea. Yea alright." Rodrick scoffed, lightly rolling his eyes before dragging y/n's blacked out figure up his carpeted staircase, the carpet grazing her knees creating a friction which burned satisfyingly on her kneecaps.
"Fuuuck. Fuck..." Y/n softly mumbled, head tilting to the side of his shoulder as he firmed his grip on the side of her shoulder. Shoulders.... shoulders are for friends, real girls get hands put on their waist. Not shoulders. She managed to conjure the thought in her hazed mind.
He struggled to open his door as y/n's body weight pressed into the side of him as he suddenly heard silent weeps of sorrow erupt from her lips.
He set her on the foot of his bed, careful not to drop her anywhere harsh.
"Y/n? Y/n what's wrong, you're like black out drunk." He asked now bending down with both hands on his knees.
He slowly caresses his hand over the hill of her cheekbone and shoves a fly of hair away from her puffy eyes.
"You....i... Im sick of you and- and her." She sighs as a hysterical tear falls from her eye. Her face was the saddest Rodrick had ever seen and this broke his heart.
"Me and... me and who y/n?" He said so softly as he began to crouch so so close to her, his eyes looking up into hers with genuine curiosity and care. The mention of her name fluttered her heart.
"Heather" She breathed out involuntarily sniffling.
"You don't like me talking about her?" He slowly asked as if all the dots were finally clicking together.
"That's a stupid question." He lowly chuckled as he swiped his thumb under the pad of her eyes.
"I.. I really- I really"
"You really what?" He said again so so softly
"I really like you." She blurted before she felt that familiar rush of heat rapture her face.
Rodrick's eyes glance down to her swollen lips and he feels a strong ache pill at his heart. His best friend just confessed about her underlaying fondness of him and he'd been an ass talking about Heather all the time. He imagined how bad it must've sucked all the damn time.
"I-I'm so sorry I- I always talked about her."
"No! don't fucking be sorry you idiotttt." She slurred
"You- You don't owe me anything." She smiled softly as she fluffed up his hair.
"Maybe..." This is wrong he thought
"Maybe i do owe you an apology." He said slow and steady as he glanced down to her lips and locked with it for the final time.
He slowly moved in to plant a soft kiss on her puffy lips and her eyes widened in surprise.
The kiss felt like heaven and she tasted like everything he was used to. A hint of cherry chapstick, a lot of weed and something coconut. His lips felt so soft against hers and she breathed in every second of the experience. She almost wanted to whine when he pulled away.
"I- Fuck."
Y/n's euphoric high was quickly ruined at the notice of him clearly regretting his decision.
"No- It's fine Rodrick. I get it, it was just a in the moment thing." She sighed as she put both her hands to her face rubbing her cheeks and eyes as if she was trying to rid off the pain in her heart.
"No, no, no! it's not that."
"I just..."
"Fuck it." He went in for another kiss.
--------------------------(end)
thank u for the request!! i hope this was enough to satisfy ur rodrick need lol, if u ever want a smutty end to this lmk but yarrrrr
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