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letsdeerintheheadlightsuniverse · 3 months

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>>Next Chapter>>

Masterlist

Pairing: Izzy Hands x gn!reader

Synopsis: Upon saving your life, Izzy Hands also unknowingly stole your heart. Will you ever be brave enough to admit your feelings or will the spark that burns between you eventually fizzle out, if not stoked into flames of passion?

A/N: Welcome to the first of what I hope will be a multi-chaptered fanfiction. It's my first time properly writing on here, so go easy on me! I'm still trying to find my footing with formatting and the like. I will update the Masterlist as I go along! I'm not totally sure how to make one, but I've made it this far, so hopefully, it works!

Content Warning: Canonical violence, gore, and discussions surrounding the reader's difficult past. This series will be 18+, so minors dni. Go away (politely).

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION.

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The sea was a cruel mistress. Beautiful in all her oceanic glory but as quick changing in temperament as the weather. From clear blue skies to perilous storms- there was no deciphering her moods, only surviving her continuous whims. But blessed had she been to you.

Perhaps she had conspired with the fates, whispered in their ear and asked them to favour you, as you travelled the seven seas with your found family. For life prior to your time on board the Revenge had been a different kind of survival. Just one, big never-ending fight, for food and shelter, that left you mentally- and more frequently than you cared to recollect- physcially battered and bruised. Though you were made of sterner stuff, even the most adept pirate had their limits.

And the day you had reached your own, good fortune had smiled upon you, as you were introduced to one, Israel Hands. Well, introduced might have been too polite a word. It's connotation suggests that you both met under usual circumstances and exchanged pleasantries, when the reality of the situation had been anything but pleasant.

Another day of surviving for your life had taken on a new meaning that dreadful Tuesday. You were doing more than just fighting for scraps and offcuts, you were struggling to keep your own entrails contained within your own abdomen. Rivers of red bled out from your failing form, as others equally destitute, viewed your fading self as one less hungry mouth to compete against. One less person taking up residence in a barn or abandoned shack. You thought your life over in that moment, as you felt your consciousness wash in and out like the waves that lapped at the nearby port.

You never really had the confidence to ask Izzy what it was exactly that moved him so much to take pity upon you but something in that dank alleyway had stirred within the silver-haired pirate's chest, as he had caught sight of your bloodied disposition.

Your remembrance of being brought back upon the deck of the Revenge was hazy at best but then, severe blood loss and copious amounts of rum for the pain would cause amnesia in the most sound of mind. The only snippets of memory that you still possessed, all involved the First Mate. The vague feeling of leather brushing against your cheek, as he carried you towards the port. The sensation of a hand in yours, as the cook-slash-medic crudely stitched you back together again. That was all you still retained from that horrific time. Still, you treasured the memories, keeping them close in your heart.

No, you would not ask the pirate to recount the full tale of what had occurred the day you were found. That was all in the past now. A distant speck on the horizon of your life's story. You had moved onto better things and your prospects were much brighter now.

Life on the Revenge was by no means easy but having a wonderful crew and somewhat sane co-captains was a farcry from where you had been only six months prior. You now had people you could call friends. Hell, you considered them to be family and they, you. You were loved and also loved in return. For the first time in your tragic history of existence, you had found a home in the group of misfits. A strong sense of belonging. You were safe. Well, as safe as one could be as a pirate.

Not that you ever worried too much when on raids. If your past was anything to go by, you could look adter yourself well enough in the midst of a fight. Though you lacked skill, you were ruthless in your attacks. However, as per the co-captain's orders, you were generally buddied up with someone more skilled than yourself. More often than not, such a responsibility fell upon the shoulders of the Revenge's beloved First Mate. Not that you were complaining. No, seriously, not even a peep!

Unfortunately for you, it had not escaped the attention of your closest friends, Lucius and Oluwande that, you never complained, in fact, about being paired up with the- quite frankly- cantankerous arsehole. It was almost if you, they dare thought, enjoyed his company. The absolute horror! Despite their teasing at your expense, most of the crew. Nay! All of the crew, were rooting for you both.

It was just a waiting game now of when you and Izzy would recognise your feelings for one another. Wee John had money on it being within the next month. Whereas Archie guessed it would be at least another six months but who was to say? Only time would tell.

If the way you were staring forlornly at the First Mate, when you were supposed to be helping Jim scrub the deck, was any indication then maybe Wee John was not totally off the mark with his prediction. You could not help yourself. The opalescent sky, brought to life by the dying rays of the close to evening sun, was a beautiful contrast compared to the stark black silhouette of the silver-haired pirate, who was currently berating a very disgruntled looking Buttons.

However, our distracted state did not last long. You were brought forth from your reverie with a very unceremonious wet cloth to the face. The sounds that emanated from your persons could only be described as a shrill shriek of horror.

"Ew, Jim!" you screeched, ripping the damp fabric from your skin and immediately pelting it back at them with aggravated gusto. "What the hell!"

Easily battling off your counter attack, the pirate chortle with unrestrained glee at your panic and disgust. You were so, so easy to catch unawares, it was impossible to not take advantage. "Ah, come on now, mi amor (my love). Lighten up a little! You're becoming as grumpy as Dizzy Izzy."

At the mention of his name, you found yourself blushing deeply. Oh no, where your feelings for the First Mate were concerned you were in too deep and your friends made sure to remind you every second of your waking hours. Not that you could really complain. How many times had you lovingly mocked Pete for his infatuation with Lucius or Jim when they doted on their partners?

"Bet you like that about him though." they smirked, as they resumed scrubbing at the deck.

You grumbled a murmured, "shut up" but Jim was right. You did like his stoicism. There was something reassuring about Izzy's stubbornness and fortitude. It was like he was a lighthouse in the tumultuous ocean that was life. Standing strong against the waves that would drown anyone else. A guide to the well-meaning but ill-equipt eclectic crew. Had he not delivered you from a path of darkness?

While lost in our own thoughts, little did you know that your cry of horror had caught the attention of the man that occupied your mind during all waking and sleeping hours.

From his vantage point, Izzy watched the crew of Revenge toil away at the daily tasks, surprisingly with minimal complaints or antics. It appeared that they were on their best behaviour that day. Much to the First Mate's chagrin. Of all the days his racing mind needed a distraction, that damn crew decided to actually put some fucking effort into their work.

But there you were, he thought, fighting to keep the soft smile that threatened to melt his icy demeanour. Working hard as always alongside your friend, Jim. You were laughing at something they had said, as you wiped the sweat from your brow. The wind against the rustling sails blocked out the sound of your laughter but thankfully, he had heard it enough time to commit the sound to memory.

"Staring at (y/n) again?" the unwelcome voice of one Edward Fucking Teach suddenly interrupted Izzy's otherwise pleasant train of thought.

"Oh, fuck off, Edward." despite his annoyance, the irritated pirate's tone did not covey itself as malicious, just frustrated, which all but confirmed Ed's suspicions.

Unlike some of the other crew members, the co-captain was well accustomed to Izzy's volatile personality by now. No matter how many foul words, curses or threats the other man verbally hurled at Ed, he would simply brush each attack off with a smile- or even more infuriatingly- a laugh accompanied with a shoulder pat. Izzy loathed those shoulder pats sometimes. Unfortunately for him but more fortunately for Ed, it was frowned upon to cut off your Captain's hand.

And as if on cue, there it was, that familiar smile. That bright as the fucking sun on a clear summer's day smile. No wonder Stede Bonnet was besotted with the bastard. Who could possibly resist the friendly warmth of that mischievous grin? It was disarmingly charming enough to even placate a cold-hearted man, such as Izzy Hands. Who could already feel his resolve crumbling.

While it would have been foolish to assume that Izzy's bark was worse than his bite- goodness, his bite could erradicate an entire crew with a moments hesitation- overall, the man was pretty harmless. Especially when it came to talking about you.

And Ed was well aware of his friend's newfound fondness. "Ah, come on, Iz." he chuckled, leaning against the nearby railing with complete ease, while Izzy felt like his stomach being tied up in knots. It took everything within his power to stop his hands from shaking. He quickly grabbed onto the same railing and hoped he mirrored Ed's unperturbed manner. Damn, he was so embarrassed with himself. How did anyone manage to function properly when being in love made you feel so jittery all the time? "You're allowed to look at 'em, you know? Nothing wrong with appreciating the view." the Captain's own gaze roamed across the deck, when he too, spotted you. His smile grew even wider.

There was no doubt that Ed liked you a lot. You were a competent pirate and a loyal friend to those aboard the ship but more importantly, you were a good influence on the First Hand. The gradual closeness that had bloomed between you and the silver-haired pirate, had been a heartwarming sight to witness from a far. In fact, it was often the subject of the late night conversations shared between Ed and Stede, as they got ready for bed every night.

However, they were not the only ones invested in the hopefully-so-to-occur-coupling of you and Izzy. The rest of the Revenge's crew had also placed many bets, all of which ran simultaneously. From first dates to first kisses- there was money riding on every single one of your shared interactions. You both just did not know it yet (and hopefully never at all). If Izzy were to discover just how invested everyone was in your inevitable relationship, heads would roll. Or more precisely, Ed's would roll.

Izzy could barely stop himself from scoffing at Ed's words. Actually, he did scoff. Loudly, too. But even with his sound of dismay, the pirate could not help but steal a guilty glance in your direction but only for a moment. "Don't talk daft." he grumbled when you eventually disappeared below deck, having been called away by Roach to help in the kitchen. "I was just keeping an eye on the crew. Fucking useless, the lot of 'em."

"Even (y/n)?"

With a huff, Izzy had finally had enough of this particular line of enquiry. "Did you need something, Edward?"

"No, just came up here to annoy you."

Of course he had. Of course he fucking had! What else would a co-captain do, other than annoy his Right Hand Man? Nothing so useless as, oh Izzy could hardly think of something worth while, like...chartering the next part if the ships journey?! "Well, in that case, can you kindly fuck off then? Haven't you got to go and make your boyfriend blush or something?"

Despite his hearty laugh, Ed still had one last parting shot for the silver-haired pirate. Leaning in close, he whispered, "You know, instead of focusing on my relationship, you could be making y/n blush right now."

Before Izzy could even stammer an apoplectic response of faux outrage- how many times had he actually fantasies about being the cause of the rosy dusting upon your cheeks?- Ed had already pushed himself off of the railing and made his way down onto the main deck. "Twat." Izzy huffed, knowing deep down. Like, deep, deep, deeeeeep down, Ed was right. He had been, as the captain had so succinctly put it, been "appreciating the view".

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my-ghost-monument · 7 months

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fic writer 20 questions!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

30! all one-shots

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

111,322

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Most recently it's been only Doctor Who (thasmin my loves <3), but ATLA and Torchwood are also frequently written for. I've done a few for one-off fandoms like Pirates of the Caribbean, Psycho-Pass, She-ra (2018) as well, and hopefully sometime next year will be adding another fandom to this list!

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All ATLA works that I wrote during 2020, so of course they got high, lol. Instead of listing those out, I'm going to give the top fic in each fandom I've wrote more than one fic for, just for some fandom variety:

ATLA: give it oxygen

Doctor Who: in another time

POTC: Call of the Sea

Torchwood: inconvenient situations

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do normally, because I love comments and getting to thank/discuss stuff with people, but this year I've been really bad at it (a massive flare of social anxiety) but hoping to catch up with all of the ones I've gotten before the end of the year!

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Maybe ice cream, if only because that's canon compliant to TPOTD which of course has Yaz and the Doctor part forever. Otherwise, I don't really do super angsty endings, more like gentle future angst reminders (more so for the thasmin fics because that's just the vibe I love doing for them).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe summer blooms, my atla maiko opus, since the ending being happy is a pretty big part of that fic.

8. do you get hate on fics?

No, thankfully.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Not really that kind of writer! If anything, I prefer vague metaphors/implications.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written 11. have you ever had a fic stolen? 12. have you ever had a fic translated? 13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

As with @dancingonmoonbeams who I got this game off of, I'll group these together since the answer's no to all.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

Probably Yaz and the Thirteenth Doctor tbh. Though Mai and Zuko hold a very special place in my heart (I blog more of them over on my other blog @drowning-in-cacophony ).

15. what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My Finnick survives AU fic for The Hunger Games! It's a one-shot but it's giving me the worst trouble and I've been stuck on it for like two years. I'd love to do it though, since it's mostly about Annie (her POV too) and I love her.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I'd say metaphors, interesting sentences that stick in people's heads, and characterisation too.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I think my work often ends up 'top heavy', where the top will be full of descriptions and actions and build up, and comparitively the ending is a little shorter of a stop.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know another language, and I wouldn't want to butcher one with a translating energy. If I needed another language, I think I'd do the whole 'they said in [language] but written in english' thing.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Agents of SHIELD, back in my ff.net days!

20. favorite fic you've ever written?

I love all my fics so, so dearly, but. maybe blue hour for thasmin? That fic reads like my dream fic honestly. (which is what I wanted when I wrote it)

tagging any mutuals/followers who want to do this!

#anna.txt #writing #mine

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swan-of-sunrise · 3 years

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Taking Care of Business (Chapter Two)

Summary: Din reflects on his impulsive decision and gets to know a little more about his newest crew member.

Pairing: Din Djarin X Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: It’s a little shorter than the last chapter but I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Two The Captain (Previous Chapter)

Din Djarin wasn’t exactly an impulsive man. If given the opportunity, he preferred to approach every situation with a healthy dose of caution and strategy, shying away from brash recklessness whenever he possibly could; it was once how he’d become one of the Outer Rim’s most skilled bounty hunters and how he’d recently been able to protect the child on his quest. So, when he’d asked the ex-smuggler, his client, to join his crew after only knowing her for a handful of hours, he’d surprised even himself with the spur-of-the-moment decision. He hadn’t traveled with a crew in years, not since his days as a mercenary, but what he said earlier had been correct: if he was going to successfully complete his quest to return the child to his kind, then he needed some help to do it.

But what made you choose her, Din asked himself as he curiously watched (Y/N) sew, out of all the people who’ve helped you so far, why did you ask her to stay? Maybe it was because she confused him; her demeanor was fierce yet gentle, she could pilot a ship through heavy blaster fire better than any Corellian hot-head but could also be content with quietly sewing on the floor of his ship, and her attitude was outmatched only by her thoughtfulness. But as he observed her from where he stood beside his sleeping compartment, it dawned on him that it was because deep-down, they shared something in common: loneliness.

“You know, I may not be able to see your eyes but I can feel you staring at me.” (Y/N) quipped, looking up from her work with a smile. “What is it?”

“We’ve been flying for a few hours now and since I don’t know when you last slept, I wanted to show you your bunk.” Din explained, grimacing at the half-truth; that was originally why he’d come down from the cockpit, but then the sight of the captain peacefully sewing had distracted him. He turned and pressed a button on the control panel, the compartment’s door opening as (Y/N) got up and stood beside him. “The child usually sleeps in the hammock, but he won’t disturb you; he’s a heavy sleeper.”

Instead of thanking him, (Y/N) frowned. “But isn’t this where you sleep?”

Din shrugged. “It’s fine, I’ll rest in the cockpit from now on-”

“And give yourself perpetual backaches?” She countered, her brow raised in skepticism. “I’ll make up a cot for myself out here and you can keep your bed.” Her firm expression morphed into amusement as she made her way back to her storage container and began rifling through its contents. “Besides, as far as this crew goes you’ve got the seniority; this is, after all, your ship, Captain.”

He smirked, leaning against the wall of the ship and crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s my ship but I’m no captain. You, on the other hand…”

“So what I hear you saying is that since I’m technically a captain, I outrank you even on your own ship?”

Biting back a snort of amusement at her teasing, Din shook his head and pointed a warning finger at her. “Watch it, alor’ad, I don’t tolerate insubordination in my crew.” (Y/N)’s head snapped up and her grin instantly fell, and he quickly realized that she’d taken him seriously. “No, no, I was just…! That was…that was meant to be a joke.”

Comprehension dawned on the captain’s face. “Oh…It’s a little hard to tell if you’re joking or not ‘cause of the…” She made a vague gesture over her face before clearing her throat and turning back to her storage container, obviously embarrassed by her action. Din couldn’t blame her, though, as his own face was flushed bright-red under his helmet. “But yeah, I’ll be okay sleeping out here, Mando.”

He nodded, unsure of what to say until his gaze landed on the garment she’d been working on before he interrupted. “So, is sewing a hobby of yours?”

“More like my life’s passion; my mother was a seamstress and she began teaching me her trade when I was around six.” (Y/N) smiled fondly, her earlier awkwardness long-gone; she pulled out a collapsible cot and got to her feet. “I’ve been hooked ever since. I even make my own clothes, since loose fabric is less expensive these days, but not shoes; I buy those already made.”

“What planet did you grow up on?”

The captain unfolded the cot and secured its legs before sitting down on its end. “Naboo. On that planet, fashion is considered an art form just like painting or dancing, and the mark of an accomplished seamstress is the ability to tell a story with a single piece of clothing. I left the planet when I was twelve, before I could begin an apprenticeship, and since I was so young when I left I know very little about my people’s customs and traditions.” Din nodded in understanding, knowing first-hand how difficult that sort of loss was, and (Y/N) let out a sigh. “I’m grateful for the knowledge I have, though.” She looked over at him a small smile. “Enough sad talk; we should discuss this quest of ours. You said that your information trail has gone cold?”

“Yes. I was instructed to locate other Mandalorians if I needed assistance, but there are very few of my kind and the ones who have survived live in well-hidden coverts.”

(Y/N) bit her bottom lip, something Din inferred was a nervous tick of hers. “There might be someone who can help, but you’re not going to like what I tell you about him.”

He frowned under his helmet. “Who?”

“A man named Gor Koresh. He’s a notorious gambler who mostly bets on ring fights, but I’ve heard some rumors that he also collects beskar. And as far as I know, beskar these days mostly comes from-”

“Mandalorian armor.” Din growled, fists tightening in anger. “He harvests Mandalorians for their beskar. Do you know where this man is?”

Once Din gave (Y/N) a tour of the cockpit and they charted their course to Koresh’s last known location, (Y/N) took over piloting while he took the child down so the two of them could get some rest. The child, however, had other plans; he cooed and babbled, gesturing towards the ladder as Din opened the sleeping compartment.

“I know that you like the nice lady but we need to sleep, kid. She’ll still be here when we wake up.” Din gently placed the child in his hammock and sighed in exasperation when his protests only continued. “I already told you, buddy, it’s naptime.” Noticing the child pointing at something, Din turned and raised an eyebrow when he saw the satchel (Y/N) had made for them. “You want the satchel?” The child squealed in delight so Din retrieved it and carefully rolled it into a bundle before tucking it into the hammock, watching as he snuggled closer to it and closed his eyes.

I guess he really does like that bag, Din thought to himself as he climbed into the sleeping compartment. After turning off the lights and making sure the child was asleep, he took his helmet off for the first time that day; sighing in relief, he ran a hand through his flattened hair and took a moment to enjoy the feeling of the ship’s cool air on his face. As he laid there in his bunk, Din’s mind drifted to his earlier conversation with his brand-new crew member.

(Y/N) was from Naboo, which explained the Mid-Rim accent he’d detected when she was yelling at him during their first meeting, and from the way she’d spoken about her home planet, it sounded as if she’d had a difficult childhood that was similar to his. But how the hell did a Naboo seamstress become a smuggler for the Rebel Alliance, he silently wondered, and what exactly did she smuggle for them?

Taking in a final breath of unfiltered air, Din put his helmet back on and made himself as comfortable as he could, quickly falling asleep with the image of the captain’s curved smile fresh in his mind.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter will be a little longer than this one, I promise :)

Mando'a Translations: Alor'ad-Captain

Chapter Three

Taking Care of Business Masterlist

Tagging: @remmysbounty @sinon36 @seninjakitey @thatonedindjarinfan @ginger-swag-rapunzel @mostclevermiss @momc95 @welcometothepedroverse @sarahjkl82-blog @zukoyonce @itsnottilly

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #din x reader #mando x reader #grogu #the child #baby yoda

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baroquesyndrome · 3 years

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Recently, the director of the original version of Baroque, Kazunari Yonemitsu, opened a Twitter Spaces event where he did a small Q&A. A member of the discord, pavaal#5795, transcribed some dialogue from the event and gave permission to repost. here it is, with commentary from pavaal in [brackets]

Q: What is the world like after completing the game? A: It doesn't change much. But that is the way the protagonist wished it, so that's not a bad thing. (some people bring up the manga ending which seems a bit more hopeful with the sprouting flower and protag's ability to talk) ...right, it's really all up to the player, since it's pretty vague. How much the protagonist can speak, how much the world changes, so on and so forth is up to you. Q: What's at the top of the Neuro Tower? Why do we not ascend when it looks so important up there? A: It was just a design mistake, honestly. We went in with the idea of a "dungeon" but designed a tower, realized our mistake, and went "well, whatever" and continued with the idea of descending. Q: I'd like to ask about the lives of the other NPCs. A: We thought of them to the extent that's necessary to propel the story forward. Of course, over time, their backstories developed in our minds, but we never made anything concrete in the game itself, and there was never really anything like "we planned for this to be revealed, but it was cut for time." There are a few things I had decided, but I honestly don't remember them now. Q: What's up with the sweat bone? And why is it called a "body fluid" bone in Japanese, but "sweat" in English? A: There's no real reason. I think sweat is a fine translation. Q: Why does the protagonist have a female voice actress? Does it have anything to do with the plot? A: We were thinking of Summer Vacation 1999 in cultivating the atmosphere. There's no real plot reason... we were just very much inspired by Summer Vacation 1999. Q: Is the Archangel really really really named Tenjou Kyushiro? A: It was a half-assed answer. I'm really sorry. He doesn't have a name, but if you need one, that's what I've got for you. Q: Is the Archangel albino? If he's Japanese, and has that kind of coloring... A: You're thinking too much about it, but maybe he is. He might also just bleach his hair and use contacts, like a visual-kei artist. Q: Where did the idea of twins come from? A: We were inspired by Summer Vacation 1999, or if you go back a little further, by Hagio Moto's Heart of Thomas. The scene where the older brother (in Baroque) jumps from the tower was inspired by the suicide in this manga. We took a lot of inspiration from Hagio Moto. Q: How and why would people join the Malkuth group? A: Well, of course if they were suspicious or curious about the existence of god. Also, the Order of Malkuth produced plenty of pieces of entertainment before the Blaze, like idol groups and things like that. It's a rather big group as a result, with members of varying ages and strength of beliefs. Q: So... how is the Archangel doing? Like, emotionally? A: I have no idea. Q: What's with that big flower in the Boxbearer's room? A: I... honestly don't know. We designed it originally, and I think we just never took it out. It just looks nice. Q: What is the protagonist's name? A: I don't know. I can't make that decision. People will definitely get mad if I say anything. ...there's none. Yeah, no. He doesn't have a name. Yeah. With a character like that, that's for everyone to do with as they please, it feels wrong for me to decide something like that for myself. I think the people who care enough to ask could probably come up with a more appropriate name that suits their impression of the character. Q: There are people who really can't choose, though, and would like to hear your impressions of a "default" name. [then there's a long discussion here about yonemitsu's approach to character creation and things like that, and someone else pointed out that there are some creators who think of their characters as their children and their own things to be decided by them, but he doesn't feel that way. he likes learning about his characters from the people who experience them and give back, as in the case of the archangel's sister] [he also talked a bit about his original pitch (?) for baroque. something about "the fragment of a boy, the soul of a girl" and maybe originally rather than twin brothers it was some complex distortion with a hero/heroine?] Q: What is the “Red Queen” story that had been cut? A: There was a train derailment incident just before the Blaze that ended up at the base of the Neuro Tower, where government officials and cult members were both involved. [The audio was bad here, but someone managed to catch that the name of the train itself was probably The Red Queen, like the names for the various bullet trains and other special trains in Japan.] Q: What is the relationship between the Baroquemonger and the Horned Girl? A: Not a clue. Q: When the Archangel says that he “likes” protagonist, his “foolishness”…? A: I don’t know what the Archangel is feeling. Q: Moon is just a fish? A: Yeah. It’s probably delicious. Q: Tell us about the Twisted Ones in the Outer World. A: Only a couple of them are actually members of the Order of Malkuth. The others were involved in the train incident and/or were just being kept/confined by the Order of Malkuth. [and a clarification on what i thought was the pitch for baroque was actually the (scrapped) idea for a sequel it was going to be a choice-based game but not strictly a visual novel, more like something with intentionally basic gameplay that explored the distortion of two people (the aforementioned boy and girl) at the moment of the blaze.] [based on what we know from the explanation on heat day and what already exists, the red queen was indeed the name of the “quantum measurement train,” a train with an unknown (to us) purpose that ran near the neuro tower. since it was cut in the main game as a playable area (yonemitsu has talked about this before iirc), it was incorporated as a railway accident that occurred as the result of the blaze, and the non-malkuth npcs were riding the train when it happened (as they would have been in the cut content) and that’s how they ended up where they are. the red queen theory itself in the real world is the theory that species basically have to evolve or die because everyone else is evolving, combine that with the (quantum) measurement problem which is the schrödinger’s cat thing, and you have the impression of a train that was functioning as a schrödinger’s cat for distortions? which seems reasonable enough to me...]

#Baroque Syndrome

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not-xpr-art · 3 years

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Art Advice #3 - Drawing tips!

Hi everyone!

As you may know, every week or so I’m writing blog posts with art advice hints and tips for artists of any skill level in the hopes of helping some people out a bit! The tag is here so feel free to check out some of my other posts!

This week’s post is going to be some drawing tips I’ve picked up over the years that could hopefully be useful for beginner artists!

(this is about 1800 words altogether btw)

Drawings tips!

I’m going to split this post up into little sections which will hopefully make it easier for you to scroll to find certain advice you’re particularly interested in!

Part 1 - How to get started?

I’m a firm believer that anyone can be an artist, regardless of what materials or equipment they have. So when it comes to my advice on what kind of materials I recommend for beginner artists, I’d mainly say ‘whatever you have’.

But if that’s a bit vague, I’d essentially recommend you have a set of pencils which you can usually get relatively inexpensive online or in craft/art shops which range from 6B all the way to 6H (’B’ being for softer, darker pencils, often good for shading, and ‘H’ for the harder pencil leads which are best for much lighter shading or if you want a really faint sketch. Something important to note about ‘H’ pencils is not to press too hard with them since they’re a lot more likely to leave indents in the paper than ‘B’ pencils! For general sketching I personally use 2B or 3B pencils since they have the perfect balance of soft & hardness in my opinion!)

Of course, you can just draw with whatever pens or pencils you already have, so definitely don’t feel you have to go out of your way to buy something new or expensive just because your favourite artists use a particular brand of pencil or pen... Of course, often higher quality pens or pencils (especially colouring pencils) will have better pigment payoff than the cheaper alternatives, but as someone who’s been using the same WHSmith pencils they got when they were a child, I definitely think that as long as you have something to draw with, you’re all set to produce masterpieces of your own!

A lot of my art education got us using charcoal for a lot of our drawing practise. It’s not a medium I’m particularly fond of personally, but it is a great way to practise being a lot quicker and expressive with drawing, so definitely if you’re up for the challenge you can try some charcoal stuff! Only piece of advice is that I wouldn’t really recommend those ‘charcoal pencils’ you can buy in some shops, since they mostly just break apart every time you try and sharpen them... Regular charcoal is messy, though, and smudges very easily, so if you are interested in using it I’d say to do a little bit of research before hand!

(Or feel free to send me an ask if you want any further advice on using it!)

If you’re wanting to get into digital art, I’m planning on making a post discussing my tips for beginners to digital so... keep an eye out for that in the near future lol!

Part 2 - Getting over ‘Drawing Anxiety’

Drawing can be a daunting thing, particularly when artists who are already pretty good at it can seemingly produce a perfectly proportioned face out of thin air. But these artists weren’t magically born with this skill, of course, so with practise and some perseverance, I can assure you that you’ll be at that stage one day!

So my first piece of advice here is to be patient with yourself. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect straight away.

Second piece of advice is to sketch constantly!! I notice a lot of people who haven’t been drawing long are really careful about how they draw, almost like they’re afraid to be rough with the pencil. So I’d really recommend just starting to sketch a lot: be rough, be messy, draw things you can see and things from your imagination!

Observational drawing is another thing I think is crucial in improving your drawing skills (and I’ll go into more detail with this in a bit), but honestly just sketching things you like is such a great way to help you grow as an artist! And yes this includes drawing anime fanart or drawings of your original characters!

Below is some comparisons of my attempts at drawing Freema Agyeman from 2013 to 2019... Is the latest version of this perfect? Of course not. But I just want to show what constant practise can achieve!

Part 3 - Observational drawing

I honestly think that observational drawing was one of the most important things I learnt in my years of art education.

Observational drawing can take on many meanings. Perhaps it’s drawing a still life of a fruit bowl, or a life drawing class with a naked dude in front of you, or even drawing from a photo. The point of observational drawing is to improve how you translate the world around you onto a 2D surface, essentially.

And you don’t need anything fancy to do observational drawing either! Just placing an array of things in front of you and trying to sketch them (try and focus on a mix of textures and surfaces for the objects. So, for example, including a cup along side a woolly hat will help you get a handle on how to create texture with your drawing, and drawing anything with a reflective surface like cutlery is both challenging and interesting to do! Basically just use what you have around you!)

If you’re lucky (or unlucky, depending on how fond you are of seeing naked people lol) enough to have the chance to do life drawing, I would honestly recommend it! Often the final results aren’t great, but it’s a really good way of practising your observational skills! And even if you don’t have the opportunity, just trying to sketch a friend or family member from across a room, for example, is something that can really help you improve!

Top tip: a teacher once told me that when you’re drawing something like a face, for example, a way to improve how you draw is to see the face not as a ‘face’, but instead as a collections of shapes. Because our brains have a preconceived idea of what a face looks like that we end up drawing what we think we can see rather than what we can actually see!

There’s a lot of art snobs who believe that drawing from reference images is ‘cheating’ in comparison to life drawing, Of course, this is bs, and I’d say I’ve learnt just as much from using reference photos for the basis of my art as I have from drawing from ‘real life’. For more information about my thoughts on references and how to use them, see This post!

Part 4 - Drawing from references: Tracing, Grids and Freehand (which is best?)

Tracing in the world of art is a ... Contentious subject to say the least. And I’m not really interested in getting into the ‘moral’ implications of whether it is ‘cheating’ or not.

Instead I want to focus on the pros of using something like tracing when you’re starting out. I think particularly if you’re trying to improve how you shade things, colour things or how to get better at blending, then I do think that tracing can be a useful tool! Even I used tracing in the very start of my delve into digital art, but soon found that tracing wasn’t really something that was helping me in the long run so moved onto freehand stuff.

Overall, I think tracing is good as a starting point when you’re still learning about art, and also if you’re not too comfortable with your freehand drawing skills yet. I’d also recommend you mention if you have traced a piece if you share art to social media. Of course, no one is obligated to do this though!

This is an example of an artwork that I traced (it’s from 2013, hence why it looks... like That lol)

But if you’re someone who perhaps has used tracing in the past and found it doesn’t really work for you, or if you don’t want to start with tracing at all, then a good ‘next step’ I’ve seen other artists get into is using grids.

Now I have to admit, I’m not the best person to talk about grids since I’ve actually never used them lol... But I know a lot of artists who do, particularly people who do a lot of traditional work, since it makes it a lot easier to translate the reference image to your piece of paper or canvas.

And in a way I would recommend grids more for people starting out in drawing than tracing, and this is mainly due to the fact grids force you to use a lot more observational drawing skills than tracing! If you’re interested in getting into using grids I’d recommend doing a bit of research yourself!

The final technique of drawing from references I want to talk about is freehand! Now this is the one I’ve been doing for the majority of my art ‘career’ and honestly is probably the most ‘difficult’ to do of the three techniques.

But I find freehand drawing particularly rewarding with the ways it can make you reimagine an artwork in ways you never intended! Like what I mentioned in my Reference advice post, I have found that making ‘mistakes’ in freehand drawing can actually lead to more interesting and unique works of art than tracing or grid work could ever do!

I also think that freehand allows you to create your own characters or concepts in a much more free way. For example, my Spirit of Somerset piece was something I created from a variety of references (I seem to remember I used Isak from SKAM’s mouth as a basis for the girls’ mouth?) and the dragon was based on a real mishmash of references, which is something that I I feel I couldn’t have done if I’d have been using grids or tracing!

With this I’m not trying to say that freehand is the ‘best’ way of drawing, it is just the one that I personally have found to fit me the best, which is the entire point of this post! All of my advice is just pointers I think could be useful for new artists, it is up to you to find which ‘path’ in art suits you best!

And of course, I’ve phrased these techniques as separate purely for the sake of explaining them easier, but the fact of the matter is that you can use a combination of these in your art if you wish!

If you struggle with drawing the outlines of hands, perhaps use tracing as a way to get a handle of the shape and then maybe use freehand to fill in the colour of them! Use a grid to draw a tree but freehand the leaves and bench below it!

Remember that your art is your art, and no one can tell you how to draw things!

I think I’ll leave this here for now! But I may do a part two at some point in the future! & my ask box is always open for anyone who wants any specific advice!

I really hope you found this at least moderately helpful, and a massive thank you to everyone for the constant support of these posts and my art!

#art advice #drawing #drawing tips #art advice for beginners #drawing advice #artists on tumblr #art #i SWEAR i am trying not to ramble in these i just... have a lot to say lol

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goldencorecrunches · 3 years

Text

@lady-of-the-lotus I’ve done it. I’ve written, G-d help me, YaoYang fanfiction. I hope you’re happy. I hope you forget about your soup on the burner and it scorches. (Also on AO3 for fancy linked footnotes)

---

Must one dread what others dread?

--Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

What have I done? Sweet Jesus, what have I done?

--Jean Valjean, Les Misérables (Musical)

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, hamotzi lechem min ha’aretz.[1]

--Jewish blessing said prior to eating an olive-bulk or more of bread (unless, of course, you disagree).

---------

It was a bright and balmy day, the third of the cultivation conference, and Sect Leader Yao was being insufferable. He was well outfitted for it. He had woken from his insufferable, snoring sleep and demanded an insufferable breakfast, the specifications of which made the most highly-ranked, honor-festooned cook in Jin Tower break down into tears and resign on the spot. He put on his most insufferable underpants on under his most insufferable robes, and tied back his hair in the insufferable style that he favored, the one that made him look like a badly turned rotten beet.[2] He had even spent fifty minutes manipulating his face in an insufferable series of facial expressions in the mirror, involving him at several points “losing” his own reflection only to “find” it again at the corner of the polished bronze, much to his own amusement—though not, it might be stated, to the amusement of the junior launderer he demanded watch his performance.

The hall had been surprisingly vacant of other unoccupied servants, when Sect Leader Yao had checked. All that scurrying and burrying! Well, servants should be busy, anyway: that was the way, and the way was right, HRRGNH. “That Was the Way, And The Way Was Right, HRRGNH,” was the latest of the updated mottos Sect Leader Yao had thought of for his sect. Though it was an excellent guiding principal and pure poetry upon the senses, it had two drawbacks. The first was that the tonally-important HRRGNH at the posterior end of the phrase was obtained by means of thrusting the hips forward, curling the torso, and letting the resulting force of air displaced escape through the mouth. This was, Sect Leader Yao allowed, not very dignified.

Still, all was not lost. Sect Leader Jiang had scowled upon seeing it, but he was always scowling so he didn’t count. Sect Leader Lan had looked intrigued. Sect Leader Nie had applauded, and asked whether it would be possible to pass gas from below at the same time; a very tactless comment, Sect Leader Yao had thought, considering the gastrointestinal distress he was so often plagued by, which Sect Leader Nie should know about, as Sect Leader Yao had described it to him at length, frequently. He had reminded Sect Leader Nie of this with appropriate grace. It was good to show these young sprites how to conduct oneself with the proper manners. The second problem was that Sect Leader Yao did not, and had not for several years, have a sect. It was not something Sect Leader Yao liked to think about, so he largely didn't.

On the way to the discussion hall Sect Leader Yao felt a whisper, on the back of his neck. It was the slimiest whisper anyone had ever felt, and it carried with it the vague sense that someone had been watching you, through a crack in the wall, the last time you were alone in the bathroom. It also carried the powerful scent of moldy incense. Sect Leader Yao turned and spread his arms wide. “Sect Leader Ouyang!” It was his best, insufferable, friend. His worst friend, too, being his only, but Sect Leader Ouyang took on both roles with ease. They’d stabbed each other, once, over a hunk of demonic metal. Ah, memories were truly the jewels of life. Sect Leader Ouyang grimaced like a dead cat, which was his version of a pleased smile, and bowed. Sect Leader Yao bowed back. When he rose he waggled his eyebrows. Sect Leader Ouyang snapped open his fan and wafted, with the gentle flutter of a category five hurricane, several lungfuls of moldy incense. They had totally sucked face last night. It had been swag.[3] “What’s on the docket for today?” “I believe it is something to do with that Jin boy. An honor ceremony he’s attempting to put together. If he expects my sect to pay for it, I’ll want to know why.” Sect Leader Ouyang sniffed. He did that a lot. Sect Leader Yao lovingly passed over a handkerchief.

The Jin boy’s proposal was indeed the first major case discussed, after the necessary canapés and complaints about the accommodations had been passed around.[5] It was a matter the boy had clearly put much thought into, and one dear to his heart; he presented it with an earnest timbre that would have swayed a petrified forest. Unfortunately, earnestness was outside of Sect Leader Yao’s testicular-sized sphere of understanding. “He’s grubbing for money, you’ll see,” Sect Leader Yao said, in an overtone[6] to Sect Leader Ouyang. Sect Leader Yao considered himself wise to the ways of the conniving, since he, the aforementioned, sometimes cheated at cards. His friend-now-daring-conquest nodded and glared across the room. He was aiming for the Jin boy, but missed, and caught a rather startled wine-pourer on the side. “You ought to say something,” Sect Leader Ouyang said. That was an excellent idea. It was always, in Sect Leader Yao’s opinion, the right time for him to be talking. “Hey!” he shouted, waving his arms over his head like an extremely drunk aircraft marshal. “Hey! What’s this got to do with Wei Wuxian?” “It…doesn’t,” said the Jin boy, who was in fact Sect Leader Jin, and who while admittedly young outranked Sect Leader Yao to a degree that would make you wince and say whoee it’s a scorcher if you saw it on an outdoor thermometer. “Ridiculous!” Sect Leader Yao said. “We all know it does! Stop trying to bamboozle us with dacquoise!”[7] Sect Leader Jiang had stopped scowling in approval and had begun to scowl in apparent constipation. The history between him and Wei Wuxian was somewhat rocky.[8] “Exactly as he says!” Sect Leader Ouyang, the most and least loyal of Sect Leader Yao’s comrades, cut in. He leapt to his feet; several of his neighbors checked, instinctively, to make sure their pants were still up. “You won’t catch us sleeping!” “Hear, hear!” Sect Leader Yao thundered. “Please don’t shout,” Sect Leader Nie hangovered. He had one hand clasped around his temples, the other clutching a cup of water. Sect Leader Yao was surprised he was so bad off. He’d seemed quite sober when he’d stumbled across the totally swag face-sucking betwixt Sect Leaders Yao and Ouyang. Speaking of. Sect Leader Yao turned to look sideways conspiratorially at Sect Leader Ouyang and shoot him finger-bow-and-arrows.[9] Sect Leader Ouyang mimed catching one. Damn, Sect Leader Yao was for sure going to propose marriage after this Wei Wuxian dacquoise was smoked out.

Oh yeah, it was all comin’ up Yao, baby. That was the way, and the way was right.

HRRGNH.

----------

1This blessing has no relevance to the contents of this work. “Honestly,” the author said when questioned, “I’m just trying for all the help I can get.”[return to text]

2A confusing feat, as this was China prior to the year 1000 BCE, Gregorian, and beets had not been invented yet.[return to text]

3“Swag” is neither a genre- nor period-accurate term for the emotion Sect Leader Yao was feeling. However, translation is an art rather than a science,[4] and more atmospheric words fail to communicate to modern English-speaking audiences the true depth of Sect Leader Yao’s douchebaggery. Thus: swag.[return to text]

4"An art rather than a science” is a common phrase used by people who are neither artists nor scientists to describe what they believe to be the difference between these disciplines. One might as well say “a boot rather than a canary”—that is, not the same, but having more in common than people might think.

5There was nothing wrong with the accommodations, and especially nothing any of the poorly-used common folk the attendees lorded over would have found, but if there is one unifying factor among humans it is that they love to complain.[return to text]

6Like an undertone, but the opposite.[return to text]

7A word Sect Leader Yao thought meant “deceit,” but which in fact refers to a tasty meringue-and-cream French pastry.[return to text]

8If by “somewhat rocky” you mean “a high-speed chase over deadly-fast rapids between simultaneous avalanches, and also, there are sharks.”[return to text]

9Small handheld firearms, aka “guns,” had also not been invented yet.[return to text]

#mdzs #cql #the untamed #yaoyang #sect leader yao #sect leader ouyang #my fics #*deep sigh*#*pause*#*DEEPER SIGH*

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galacticlamps · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @the--highlanders ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

#oh boy that was long #sorry #also sorry if the 13 is really big for some reason #i dont know how it got that way so i dont know how to change it #it doesnt look like that when i edit the post only when i save it #not fic but fic talk

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arizona-trash-bag · 3 years

Note

I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year. All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

#neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd #danmei #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian

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crispyapplepies · 4 years

Text

AkuRoku Defense pt 2

Axel and Roxas’s ship has had one of the most bizarre fandom journey’s i have ever come to witness. It has gone from being one of the most popular ships maybe ever, to being dead cancelled over a supposed age gap and I find that completely unfair, especially when it speaks to so many innocent people who emotionally depend on the ship, (yes innocent includes the spicy people because art literally is not a crime). So its time to defend it.

Brief Review on Nobodies vs Aging

First of all, l already explained in part 1 what the Nobodies Don’t Age thing means but I’ll go over it again briefly, since it can be confusing, though also many people seem to demand their hands be held rather than use their imaginations to understand. Even so, here’s the short version just for a review:

-A person in KH is made of a heart, body, and soul.

-The body reflects the heart in KH. (See: replica bodies taking on the appearance of the heart that’s inside them).

-A nobody lacks a heart, making them just a body and soul. They’re advanced zombies of sorts.

Nobodies do not age because they have no heart for the body to reflect. This is why they won’t change until they form one. Change includes age

-Ergo, you can imagine any age you like for Axel to be nobodied, cuz he was frozen at that age and did not change for 10 years. Not until he met Roxas.

We’ll come back to this again later.

Axel Loves Roxas Canonically

Second of all, Axel loves Roxas and you are allowed to interpret that as platonic, familial, or romantic, I don’t care as long as you’re not forcing that idea on others like the ship police. That said, people are allowed to explore how romantic this love potentially is.

And what you might like to know is that the canon is even open to this. Axel’s love for Roxas is canonically expressed, and if you would like, you can even interpret that love as romantic. See below:

We are going to look at the japanese translation because AS ALWAYS good old SENA is here for the straights and erases the gay, like clockwork.

In English, Axel says this:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas. He...was the only one I liked... He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny... You make me feel...the same...

Axel’s line here in Japanese:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas... I loved him. Being with him... it made me feel like I had a heart. I feel it from you, too... the same kind of....

You may notice that as romantic as the line “he made me feel like I had a heart” sounds, the original can be read as wAY gooier, specifically cuz of this word:

好き: "suki"

Now here’s the thing. Japanese is a pretty vague language which is why context is so important for these things, as well as what you say, and what you don’t say.

“Suki” is a very key word here because it is often used in romantic confession scenes.

(I have no idea what this panel is from, I apologize lol)

It CAN mean something casual, like “I love video games”, but considering Axel is saying this with his dying breath, I don’t think we should be treating it as some hyperbole. He is referring to a person and it is meaningful. However. It is still a word with plausible deniability. Japanese has several words for love, “ai” for example being one of the most inarguable means of referring to romantic love. So choosing “suki” still leaves room for the homophobes to disregard it as something not romantic. Which makes it objectively inconclusive. Here is the thing though… they specifically chose that word, suki, a word which IS so often used in a romantic context in many anime and manga.

They also chose to use that word rather than something objectively platonic. Which means you also cannot conclude Axel did NOT mean it romantically. Given his devotion to Roxas, and the fact that they chose this word of all words for him to say… I’m personally going to assume it’s romantic. You are free not to interpret it that way. But I am because I am considering the fact that they did not choose something strictly platonic.

(My translator friend actually freaked out when I showed her this, she’s translated and seen enough confession scenes to know what connotations that particular word comes with lol).

If you’ve read my queer coding doc, you may recall I also go over how this is one of the most important tricks with queer coding. You write something that CAN be viewed as queer but with plausible deniability for straight people to ignore it. It’s a means of protecting oneself and the text from homophobic oppression. It is a legitimate practice. So even though it can be denied as a queer text, it can also very very well be viewed as a definite queer text. We are choosing to queer it here. It is not as explicit as it could be, but it is still very bold, suggestive coding considering the homophobic world we live in, and especially with KH2 being released in 2004.

“But Age Gap!” (ughhhhh)

We’re back to this cuz I also finally have the Japanese version of that infamous page in the Day’s novel to look at.

I hope you’ll forgive me if I get a little bit salty but I don’t like to repeat myself lol so I’m gonna try to keep this section short and to the point.

In this interview with Nomura, he expresses that nobodies do not age, and they exist as they were at the time of becoming a nobody. He then suggests Xemnas seems 30 ish.

Now I truly do not care to hold your hand through the process of thinking creatively because you should be using your own imagination, if you have one, to think critically and creatively about what this idea means.

Kingdom Hearts is a FANTASY game. Nobodies are a FANTASY concept. They can break ALL the rules about real life that you want them to. But I will go ahead and explain this for you even though I’ve already done it many times, in this very document even and in other meta posts.

The body reflects the heart. Nobodies are frozen as they are from the moment they are “born”, which is to say the moment they are created. Glorified zombies. They aren’t going to age unless they form a heart. Why does Xemnas look 30? He has a heart! Or he was formed 10 years after TerraNort defected. You tell me. Why did Ienzo age? I dunno, you tell me! Either he formed a heart and didn’t know it, (he’s passionate about his work, he loves Ansem the Wise, any number of things could’ve made him form a new heart), or he was nobodied later in life. Axel is frozen at whatever age he was when he was nobodied, all the while Ienzo could’ve been nobodied 10 years later. It’s a fantasy, and these are fantasy rules. That scenario can happen. YOU decide. Until the canon tells us for sure, your imaginations can run wild with explanations. Even if the canon does tell us, you can still imagine whatever you want for your own headcanons. Freedom is amazing, it’s salty and sweet.

Now let’s talk about that annoying page in the Days novel people keep shoving in my face.

This one right here. The official english translation is this:

That’s not the worst translation I’ve seen them put out there. But let’s look closer at the Japanese:

Here, Axel says he thinks Roxas is about 10 years separate from himself, but things like age don't exist for nobodies.

Already that’s making a lot more sense to me for nobodies since we are told nobodies do not age. As such Axel speaking like he is 10 years older would feels almost contradictory when he has no heart and cannot change.

This wording is important. Recall me saying that Japanese is very vague so all of the context matters. No one is denying that 10 years passed between Birth By Sleep and Axel meeting Roxas. However. Nobodies don’t age.

(please dont make me explain that a third time in this essay alone)

The Japanese and English both express that age does not apply to nobodies, (as discussed above^^^^) and the Japanese furthers this with its wording. They have 10 years of separation between Axel being nobodied, and Roxas existing.

Axel saying in English that Roxas is simply 10 years younger than himself is rather misleading considering the ambiguity of the original. I can’t fault the translators too much for not understanding this nobody concept so well because it is obviously confusing. However, I do not think Axel was saying Roxas is literally, in real life human somebody terms, 10 literal physical years younger than him. He is expressing that he became a nobody 10 years ago whereas this guy became a nobody very recently, and it shows with how little he can even function right now. A zombie who has been wandering around with no heart for 10 years meets a fresh zombie wandering around with no heart for 1 day.

I know antis are gonna use it against us no matter what, but at least know that akuroku is not inherently pedophilia nor is it inherently an adult/minor ship.

In many of our headcanons, Axel was frozen at age 18 or 19, with Roxas being 16. Absolutely no one is required to view them with a big age gap because imagination is free and you literally have no right to police it, but also because the canon expresses these nobodies as beings outside of the realm of age. They do not operate under real life rules or somebody rules. Think of Steven Universe where Rose was thousands of years old but only “grew up” as a person when she fell in love with Greg, a human in his 20s-30s who asked her to consider other people’s feelings. Consider the mind of a nobody as a state of Neverland. You aren’t gonna age unless you step out of it and change. Mature. Isn’t it sad that Axel did not feel like he had a heart until Roxas? No wonder people ship it!

Coding is Obvious

Finally I wanna conclude on a simple thought. This interview right here? I’d be curious what the original Japanese actually says lol but the english translation of it says that romantic akuroku was not Nomura’s intent.

Here’s the thing though. If you know anything about queer coding, you know that using romantic coding between 2 male characters is signaling something. It is not something you should ignore. It would not be there if the characters were meant to be viewed as objectively straight. And for something “unintentional”... there sure is a lot of coding at work here.

From Axel pinning Roxas down and asking him to come home in a very sexually suggestive pose,

to watching the sunset in sheer bliss together just enjoying the peace of reunion,

to watching the sunset together while talking about what LOVE is, specifICALLY romantic love,

To this. And I already told you what this was in Japanese.

I’m not saying Nomura lied…

But I am saying that a whole staff worked together to create these games, and it is very difficult for me to believe that no one thought to say “these characters appear to be romantic, let us change the scene to be more platonic” if the characters were not meant to be romantically suggestive.

Tl;Dr I wanna live in the timeline where people let you ship akuroku lol

#akuroku #akrk #axel kh #roxas kh #kingdom hearts

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mneiai · 4 years

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Hello! I love your writing so much and I would really like to see how you’d do a soulmate au where all mandalorians can tell (somehow lol) who their mandalor’s soulmate is... jangobi obviously!

So, this reminded me a lot of Fate Comes Early, and originally I was thinking of maybe just linking that, but then I was dwelling on it and thought how I could make it a very different take lol

This one kinda got away from me! I’ll probably post it as a one-shot on AO3.

I’m still accepting prompts in my ask box!

XXXXXXXXXXX

The moment they set foot in Mandalorian space, their whole mission went from not too unusual to completely kriffed up.

Maybe, Obi-Wan considered, before that even. Because the closer they got to the sector, the more Mandalorians they passed at refueling stations and there was something like a low buzz of danger in the Force.

Or maybe it was anticipation.

Regardless, he really wished Qui-Gon had listened to Obi-Wan instead of doubling down on his Living Force prejudices and insisting they had to live in the present. It would have saved them a lot of problems.

Because as soon as they were off their ship, they were surrounded, separated. There was no way to combat it without violence, which was not an option while they were on a diplomatic mission and there were government representatives in the crowd.

Obi-Wan was taken into what he assumed was the palace. Mandalorians, most but not all in their signature armor surrounding him until they reached a small building within the building. It was set in the middle of a courtyard, surrounded by what he guessed were native plants from the sector.

It was huge, lavish, and extremely well-secured. He could see guards at every point he'd think of for escape, even spotting a few on the nearby rooftops with the telltale bulk of a jetpack on their figures. He wouldn't have minded so much, if any of them had been talkative.

The building was the nicest prison he'd ever seen and apparently was just for him.

***

He spent a whole day mostly in one of the sitting rooms, refusing to take the comforts offered by the large bedroom he'd been shown, picking at the (admittedly, very good) food the guards brought him. Every so often he walked through the rooms, trying to act as though he were simply taking them in instead of looking for a way to break out.

Eventually, someone came to meet with him. A humanoid woman in armor who the guards in armor were respectful of and the guards without seemed to dislike. She treated him with surprising deference from the start, as one might a head of state and not a Jedi Padawan.

It was all making him very nervous, remembering a mission where a sentient sacrifice had been made temporary king before being thrown into a lava pit.

"Olarom, Ka'rata. I am your tengaa'cabur, your guide.."

Obi-Wan hesitated, then replied, "Olarom," back, remembering it as one of the polite standard greetings from the mission information packet he'd read on the way.

The Mandalorian smiled at him and it looked sincere enough, though she was surprisingly hard to read in the Force. "Your presence at this time shows the crossroads our people have arrived at. There is much to prepare, Satine Kryze was nearby for the," her face twisted in distaste, "election," before she managed to smooth it out again, "but the others are farther away."

"...Others?"

"The other candidates for Mand'alor. Once they are assembled, we will being the Ka'ra'ur'cire."

"That's...like an election?" he asked, hopefully, even though the word didn't seem at all familiar.

She laughed, though he got the impression she might have been rolling her eyes if she had less control. "In Basic, perhaps that is a close enough translation."

He'd been here to oversee the election, so at least it seemed like some part of his role would be fulfilled. He could only hope his Master was with Kryze.

"And why am I...separated? Why isn't my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, here?"

Something twisted on her face, the same way it had when she'd first spoken of the election and Satine. "You are Ka'rata, it would be...improper. If you desire, after the Ka'ra'ur'cire you may be allowed other guests."

"You said that the Ka'ra'ur'cire," he thought he did a fairly good job at pronouncing it, the language coming surprisingly easy to his tongue, "would start once all the candidates are here? How long will that be?"

"Tor Vizsla will be here within the next few days. Jango Fett we hope within a week of that. The announcement has been made. You will meet all on even ground."

Neither of those men had been candidates of the election Obi-Wan had come to Mandalore for. Fett hadn't even been seen, as far as he knew, since the tragedy of Galidraan and Vizsla was considered a terrorist by most.

"And what does the Ka'ra'ur'cire entail?"

The guide stared at him for a moment, as though weighing what she'd say (or, perhaps, what he'd understand). "The Ka'ra will guide you. The one who will be Mand'alor will be revealed."

He didn't get much more out of her, after that.

***

The days after that continued with vague information, very good (if spicy) meals, and the introduction of coursework on Mando'a.

None of the language materials he was given included any of the odd terms that were used. He knew he was being called "Ka'rata" and it was honestly very rude of them not to clarify that point.

From the other information he was given, and what he'd already known for the mission, he was able to piece together that Mandalorians didn't have elections like most Republic states, that there were three main political factions each represented by one of the potential Mand'alors, and that the people guarding him and speaking to him had taken vows of neutrality and therefore would not--could not--support anyone over another until after they were declared.

He, too, was expected to have some sort of neutrality, at least to start off. And then...apparently he'd be the one doing the choosing.

That was a daunting task, especially without his Master's help, moreso because Obi-Wan was having trouble accessing the Force. He didn't know if it was nerves, or perhaps some sort of barrier around the building he hadn't noticed, but even in deep meditation he was finding it difficult.

He could still feel Qui-Gon, at least, though their bond felt muffled and indistinctive. It was enough to know that he was alive and he didn't feel as though he was in pain, just horribly annoyed. Wherever he was, maybe he was getting the same runaround that Obi-Wan was getting.

***

His guide from the first day came back, eventually. "The candidates are assembled," was the first thing she said after her formal greeting and he breathed a sigh of relief. "The Ka'ra'ur'cire will begin tomorrow."

"Does that mean I finally get to find out what it is?" His tone was maybe more petulant than he wanted it to be, but between the isolation and his growing disconnect from the Force, controlling his emotions was becoming harder.

She studied him, then nodded. "Yes. Your to'hodar to the epara'kyorar has faded, the Ka'ra will protect you."

Obi-Wan frowned. Ka'ra had been mentioned before, he knew that meant stars, but as some sort of divinity. The other two seemed to be combinations of words, none of which had good connotations.

"Right, would you mind explaining that as well as the other parts?"

The guide regarded him for a moment, then nodded again. "Elek, Ka'rata, I will explain all that I can."

But, of course, she didn't start explaining. Instead she guided him through the building to a dining room that he had seen in passing. There were other Mandalorians there, mostly older ones, though a few didn't have their helmets off to judge.

"The Ka'rata's blessed presence is known again in Mandalore," his guide stated and Obi-Wan suppressed a shudder as the others either bowed or saluted him. "He is prepared in spirit, but must be prepared in mind. It is our duty to do so."

Obi-Wan was directed to sit in one of the two chairs at the head of the table, the other remaining empty. Just like with his guide before, no one bothered introducing themselves, but he'd worked out that the ones in armor were Death Watch and the True Mandalorians (and could tell from the crests basically which ones) and that the ones who were not were most likely New Mandalorians. There seemed to be an even mix, four of each, plus his guide.

Food was placed in front of everyone who didn't have a helmet on and Obi-Wan reluctantly started to eat when others did, despite his need for answers. There was some sort of ritual at play, he knew from experience and learning, and interrupting it would probably do him no favors.

When the meal was over, his guide finally turned to him. "We will tell you now of what you are, and what it means, and what will come."

He sat up a little straighter. "Thank you."

"The Ka'rata is the heart and soul of the Mando'ade, chosen by the Ka'ra. In terms the aruetiise might use, the soulmate of the Mand'alor."

Obi-Wan wished he hadn't eaten, because he was starting to feel sick. He'd heard of soulmates, everyone had--a leftover of the Taung found almost solely in Mandalorians, a bond of the spirit that connected two people. He had a very brief education on them, in a single lecture that had discussed their simularities to naturally occurring Force bonds, and nearly everything else he knew came from the awful holonovellas that Vos sometimes watched.

"You think I'm the Mand'alor's soulmate?"

"We know it," one of the Death Watch members stated with conviction that, if Obi-Wan could just feel the Force, he knew somehow would ring true.

"We could feel it, the moment you neared us," his guide continued. "Once you nau'ur to'manda, you shall feel it, too."

He worked through those words, fairly sure it meant to forge the soulbond the stories spoke of, and frowned. "But you said I'm the Mand'alor's soulmate? So...who is the Mand'alor?"

"There are three potential Mand'alor's," the others shifted, clearly disliking comparing their own leaders, "and each must be given a chance to of nau'ur." Someone cleared their throats and she rolled her eyes. "And, arguably, their heirs."

"So if a Mand'alor dies...."

"There is always a Mand'alor. The individual might die, but someone always fills the role."

"You're saying that I just...get passed along like some heirloom?"

"You are Ka'rata, this is no insult meant to you. Once you open yourself to the Ka'ra and your to'manda, you'll understand, you'll want this."

Somehow this was worse than being sacrificed to a lava pit.

"I can't, though. I'm a Jedi, this...sounds like a very big attachment, which is forbidden by our Code."

Not only did many of them look uncomfortable at the reminder of what he was, he was fairly sure a few made a finger sign to ward off evil. Which...seemed excessive, though after Galidraan he supposed he couldn't blame them.

"The Ka'ra has freed you from the epara'kyorar. It can no longer smother you."

His breath caught. "Epara'kyorar...that's...that's what you call the Force?" He sounded small, weak, even to his own ears.

"It will not devour you any longer, Ka'rata, you are nearly free."

Obi-Wan reached desperately for the Force, but it was true, he could barely feel it at all. His bond with Qui-Gon might as well not even exist, not just as though it had been broken, but as though it had never been there at all.

He stood, chair falling behind him from the force of the movement. "I...no. I'm a Jedi, I need the Force."

"The epara'kyorare was blocking your sense of self," his guide insisted. "Your ability to use it was a trick to help you perpetuate it. Torre Vizsla learnt of this, warned us of it, what had long been suspected."

"How are you blocking me from the Force? How do I reverse it?" he demanded.

Looking around, he realized how foolish it must seem to them, a teenage boy without weapons or armor in a room full of Mandalorians, making demands. But the looks on their faces were not mocking, but more pitying. That grated.

"You can't just kidnap someone, take away one of their senses, and expect them to cooperate with you!"

"There is no kidnapping the Ka'rata. You are in our sector, under our laws you are ours."

"Your property?" he sneered, though cold sweat broke out across his body at the remembered weight of a collar around his neck.

One of the New Mandalorians, perhaps the least threatening looking person in the room, stood and approached him. "You are sacred. Once the Mand'alor has been decided on, only they can restrict you."

He looked in the man's eyes and saw what wasn't being said--the New Mandalorians were the least traditional, Satine Kryze would be less inclined to follow whatever tenants insisted that Obi-Wan was kept locked up in a separate building, guarded, unable to see any non-Mandalorians. Maybe she'd even let him go back to the Jedi, once she was confirmed Mand'alor.

Obi-Wan looked around the room, noticed eyes narrowed at the man, but no one discounted what he said. "Fine," he muttered, crossing his arms. "Fine. How do I decide which one is Mand'alor, then?"

***

It couldn't ever just be a simple "point at someone and say they're Mand'alor," but "spend a week learning how they feel to you" was aggravating. If he'd had the Force, Obi-Wan might have been able to tell right away, with a few questions, who would be a better leader.

Or he would have just chosen Satine, as he desperately wanted to, especially as the time they spent together within the building he was housed in or out in the gardens around it made it clear she disdained this tradition as much as he did. She was going along with it to hopefully gain more support and wasn't actually going to do anything more than that. She respected the Republic, the Jedi, him.

He really, really liked Satine.

Vizsla was...well, he wasn't sure what to expect, the file on him and his activities painted him as a terrorist for good reasons. But he was a traditionalist to the core and he had utter respect for the tradition of the Ka'ra'ur'cire.

Though, he did seem to be holding back parts of himself to interact with Obi-Wan. Despite surely thinking being soulmates would be an automatic thing, he was almost wooing him.

The last of the three he met was Fett. Who...seemed almost as out of sorts as Obi-Wan. He was abrasive, condescending, didn't have much time for Obi-Wan's lack of knowledge around the Ka'ra'ur'cire or any Mandalorian culture, and at first Obi-Wan took offense to that.

Until he realized this might be the first time Fett had seen a Jedi since Galidraan.

And then he looked beyond the surface of their interactions--Fett was shaken, broken, he felt like a failure and knew he didn't deserve to be Mand'alor.

Obi-Wan took two days of the meetings to realize he was understanding Fett a little too well. Another day to accept that Fett himself seemed to have quickly moved on from his hatred of all things Jedi to watching Obi-Wan like he couldn't believe he existed.

The guide had said that their stars would tell Obi-Wan who his soulmate was and horribly, Obi-Wan was realizing that maybe that was right. He, intellectually, wanted it to be Satine.

But his heart, or maybe it was his soul (or maybe it was the Ka'ra), was crying out for Jango.

"Oh," he breathed out during one of their meetings, watching Jango studying a battleplan in front of them, after he'd taken a piece of Obi-Wan's advice (hard-earned on Melida/Daan) without any protest or condescension.

Jango looked up at him, his face blank except for that little area of tenseness between his eyebrows Obi-Wan had already memorized. "Something else I'm missing?"

Obi-Wan shook his head, eyes even wider, and left the room.

***

When he went to his guide, she was as gentle as a Mandalorian could be as she talked him through how to finish the Ka'ra'ur'cire.

The next day, after fruitless meetings with Satine and Tor, he was glad to see Jango. His soft smile must have said more than he thought, because Jango--who must have felt it this entire time but had patiently waited on him--didn't stalk into the room to his usual seat. He walked right up to Obi-Wan, cupping his cheek gently in a calloused hand.

Obi-Wan, at a loss for words, managed what he thought was a steady and suggestive, "Hello, there," before Jango's lips crashed into his own.

And a million stars lit up inside of him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Mando'a: Olarom - Welcome/greetings Ka'rata - from ka'ra (stars/fate) and kar'ta (heart), word for Mand'alor's soulmate Mand'alor - sole ruler, basically the dictator of Mandalore Ka'ra'ur'cire - from ka'ra (stars) and urcir (meet) aruetiise - foreigners/outsiders to'hodar - from to (join) and hodar (deceive), ie a false bond epara'kyorare - from eparavur (to feast, devour) and kyorar (rot) Elek - yes Mando'ade - Mandalorian People to'manda- from to (join) and Manda (soul), ie a soulbound nau'ur - light up, illuminate (is also used in context of forging weapons, nau'ur kad, forge or light up a sword)

#jangobi #obi wan kenobi #jango fett #mandalorians #star wars fic #soulmate au #my stuff #ask answers #Anonymous

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notafraidofredyellowandblue · 4 years

Text

MTV Masters 2004 Rammstein - thoughts

After doing the translation of the MTV Masters 2004 set, i was left with some lingering thoughts and miscellaneous rambles, so here goes.. ❣in no particular order.

Even though it was primarily a collection of snippets from other/older interviews and some making ofs, i liked how it was put together as a sort of "History of Rammstein up until now", too bad part 2 was missing.

Olli might be just as direct and outspoken as Paul, just not as eloquent, and not as bothered to try and get his opinion out (maybe should do a post on Olli alone...probably..).

The Mutter drama

very likely started with Richard (greatly helped with a bunch of cocaine), but after it also everyone says they didn't want to go on with the same type of music, but wanted to experiment...

afaik Richard is one of the more experimental of the band, so while at some point (understandably) they wanted Richard out, I think he was also needed for the new direction...a "can't live with him, can't live without" situation?

because of that shared feeling, i guess a bandcrisis was unavoidable at some point, and maybe it was brought to a head when it was and they worked through it...if it had lingered another few years maybe they'd have said "we've been doing this long enough now, let's quit"

the years after were better, but i think it's only in the recent 2 or 3 years that the band-together-vibe has really returned, but without the corset they all hated, good for them for hanging in all that time

Paul's occassionally shows his sunny smiles when saying a pointed or sharp remark. If you didn't understand the text you might think he just said something really cute, and all the while is dissing something or someone ☀️ not just a ball of sunshine, but one with stings..

Till often doesn't finish sentences, leaves part of it hanging in the air, starts his next thought. I could imagine he prefers to express himself in writing (his poetry and lyrics) instead of talking, especially talking with a journalist where he probably half expects to be misquoted anyway.

The parts about Germany are all the more interesting knowing that 15 years later they did a song on pretty much exact the topic as it is discussed here. I wouldn't be surprised they had rewatched these old interviews and then came up with using the theme for a song. I also agree that the nazi-era, apart from the atrocities and unspeakable harm it did to people, also very much crippled the germans with guilt, making it impossible to look further away in the past without linking it to the later nazi years (a lot of harmless things from before get a connotation it originally didn't have because the nazi era tainted it) and not being able to move on in the future because the guilt couldn't be let go. If only they'd ever do a 'making of' or interview about the song "Deutschland" i'd be very interested on their thoughts...but i don't have much hope anymore for that...

The scenes with Schneider and Paul on a couch, Paul telling Schneider he's the best actor, Schneider sort of embarrassed reacting and then Paul reconsidering and coming to the conclusion that he's not sure about actor Schneider and talking, but concluding he is really good at looking in certain directions 😁 that must be a prime example of Paulinist remarks, on the one hand cute and funny and generous, and then with one sentence basically pinpointing what Schneider can't do ☀️

Richard admitting having to be unhappy to "create" and sometimes creating drama to trigger that is very revealing, self-aware, unsettling and in a way very sad.. i hope he has come to terms better with it later in life and can also use music from a happier core (like when he writes songs for his children), but deep down, this is his drive and probably still is..

Love Paul's metaphores, he always has one (or three) at hand on any topic. When interviewed along bandmates he's quite restless though, moving around a lot..

Felt sad for Till when he talks about writting stuff off of his soul and afterwards "feeling a bit better, a tiny bit" I wanted to reach in and hug him ❣

At this point in time the Mutter drama is forgiven but not quite forgotten, I think especially Paul will be one to regularly have referred back to it in the first years after the crisis. At least the last couple of years it seems to have been really layed to rest (apart from maybe a little inside joke like old friends have).

Although I always think Schneider is the most levelheaded of the bunch, he does seem to occassionally not "get" what is going on, he seems occassionally vague. That too changed later on, nowadays he seems the most stabil one to interview (well, Flake as well but you can have Flake just reminisce old bandstories and don't have to ask questions 💓)

Schneider for that matter also seems to, by the time of the interview, still remember there was a crisis, but is starting to forget the details, that is probably for the better, no use rehashing everything, but i'd bet some of the others took longer..

Richard is very analytical about what happened and also imo very honest, like mentioning when in the early days they did something funny, that wasn't their intension and only later learned to laugh about themselves. Other people would just have twisted a story like, but he just says it as he thinks it was. He seems very much to say what he feels at the time (not that a next time he won't say something different, but then *that* is what he feels). This must probably also have gotten him into spots of trouble over the years.

Till just lights up (no not like that 😊) when he hears the pyro guys, next time someone manages to catch him for an interview they should just let him give a masterclass on pyrotechnics and ask the questions in between so he doesn't have to bother with the standard interview-situation and just do his own thing.

There is not a lot of Flake in these interviews, while we know now that Flake is actually one of the better storytellers, maybe he was used to let others do the talking at the time, or maybe he was strugling with his alcohol addiction that he talks about in his books and his happy to let tune out.

I think Richard once mentioned in a different interview that he likes to work in a team but isn't a teamplayer; what i take from these interview snippets that he loves the band and very much wants the band to be well.. later he wrote an Emigrate song for them (a band he doesn't tour with, afraid he'd like it better than Rammstein..😙 he a worrier at heart i think..).

Paul gets interviewed in various combinations with bandmates at the time, but i don't think from those years there is a combination of him and Richard. But much much later (2016), when they are interviewed together at the Rammstein in amerika premiere, they completely make up for it and have loads of fun. Ofcourse that's exactly the difference 10+ years can make, but good for them to have given it a shot and finding common ground after all (and even managing to be soft to eachother...aaaww those two 💕)

Schneider casually calling Paul 'Paulchen' as an endearing term and Paul not even batting an eye is very cute, but also shows that they regularly call him that (nothing much to do with his size imo)

Paul having the last word is probably typical, but what a sweet way to end this show, saying he really likes all of them, empasizing again 'really' and he is glad they are all still alive 💗 apart from that that is very cute, i also think they did worry about one or the other bandmate and their lifestyle (in keeping with the interview not naming names here) i hope that part of their wildness has mellowed down by now...the first remark also is a foresight to a 2017 interview with Paul where he mentions they have really nice chemistry at that time...so glad their bandlife did become better over the years.

All in all...the really are a 6-man-marriage...aren't they 💖

#rammstein rammblings #long...again..#rammstein mtv masters 2004

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larktb-archive · 3 years

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Hi! I'm too shy to come off anon, but I need your help understanding something. I hope I'm not bothering you!!

I don't want to interact with anyone who is a fascist, but I'm not entirely sure what makes someone fascist. Can you please explain it to me?

I know I could look it up myself, but I know that not all definitions online can be correct and I just want your perspective;;

Thanks!

Hi anon! Well, fascism comes in many forms so “sussing out who’s a fascist” is technically a little harder to do than having a simple checklist. After all, doesn’t a White Supremacist have different beliefs to a Japanese fascist? And doesn’t a Japanese fascist have different beliefs to a Wahabist? These beliefs clash don’t they? Well, yes and no. Sure the surface level beliefs are different but the underlying core beliefs of these groups are actually quite similar; it’s the specifics which are different. Even though it isn’t a “bible” on what is fascism and shouldn’t be taken as gospel, Umberto Eco has an essay called “Ur-Fascism” which contains 14 points, which can help us identify whether certain beliefs are fascist no matter the specifics of their belief system. I’ll explain the points in short and give some examples. Quick disclaimer, I am not an expert on fascism or any of the ideologies I’ll discuss by any means so if you aren’t taking Umberto Eco’s writing as the 100% correct truth, definitely don’t take mine as that either (this is how you should treat most sources tho):

1. Cult of Tradition and 2. Rejection of modernity

I put these two together because they’re kind of inseparable. This is basically the idea that there was a “glorious past” that people need to return to and modernity is a corruption of that “glorious past”. In British fascist thought, this past is generally the 19th century at the zenith of the British Empire or mid-20th century Britain. The latter is more common for people who wish to be a little more PC with their writings; instead of trying to use a by-gone era that pretty much no one alive can remember, they use a much more recent time with nostalgic ideas of “the good old days” which doesn’t seem threatening on it’s surface but is dogwhistling for a time when there weren’t as many immigrants in the country.

You may have seen the “reject modernity, embrace tradition” meme and it’s pretty much the most obvious incarnation of this idea. Similarly you may seen people online use “degenerate” as an insult. If you look at the meaning of the degenerate it means “having lost the physical, mental, or moral qualities considered normal and desirable; showing evidence of decline”; it’s microcosm of these ideas put into a single insult. This is why you tend to see conservatives use it more than progressives.

I’d also argue that terfs obsession with 2nd wave feminism and their utter rejection of intersectionality and modern feminism is another manifestation of this idea.

3. Action for actions sake

This is less detectable in terms of individuals but still important to note that these people tend to support action without a cause. Sure the insurrection at the white house earlier this year was action, but it had no substance behind it. It was action for actions sake, which is why any principled leftist didn’t support it. Fascists will tend to openly just call for action but won’t be very specific about the purposes of the action; as long as they agree with the ideology behind it they’ll support it. It’s why fascists love harassment campaigns and mindless acts of terror. Take Wahabist terrorist orgs like Al-Qaeda or ISIS, it doesn’t matter if bombing an Ariana Grande concert has no point, the only point is the action itself.

4. Disagreement is treason

This one’s pretty self explanatory, they will ostracize you if you disagree with them. Again, terfs tend to do this, and I had a long conversation with an ex-terf I called a dumbass, who basically said that she was ostracized by them and mocked for having different beliefs (hope she’s doing well actually). There’s numerous stories from ex-terfs like this.

5. Fear of difference

There’s a tendency for fascists to group people into “us” and “them”. “They” are considered to be intruders who need to be removed whereas “we” are the people who deserve to be here because it is “our” right to be here. In Zulu Nationalism, this tends to be any non-Zulu speakers who they deem to be “Shangaan” even if they aren’t actually Tsonga, it’s just a pejorative at this point. If you see vague references to the “elite” without any reference to who they are and what makes them “elite”, this is tends to be a dogwhistle for Jewish people. Western Fascists have very little issue with the workings of capitalism itself or the accumulation of wealth by capitalists, they just don’t like “them”, taking “our” stuff. Any references to “us” and “them” is pretty much a red flag.

6. Appeal to Social Frustration

Fascists will tend to brush upon actual issues faced by the poor today but will instead blame it on an outside force. You’ll see job loss being blamed on immigrants or vague “elites”. Terfs do this too. They’ll see young girls who are genuinely struggling with patriarchal issues and divert all that pent up rage towards trans people and the “q*eers” (which they do tend to use as a slur unlike what most people would have you think).

7. Obsession with a Plot

Everything is a conspiracy! The election was rigged! 9/11 was fake! that fucking pizza place/this furniture company is a sex ring! All of these are supposedly plots by the deep state who are trying to do... something or other. You’ll notice these “Plots” don’t actually have a purpose, but the fact that there is a plot itself is the issue. This is a way of engendering paranoia in the group while also feeling that there is a constant war against you even if there isn’t. This is also why, despite news sources being pro-capitalist the right will swear up and down it’s leftist media which is controlled by “them” (usually just meaning Jewish people).

8. The enemy is both strong and weak

“Trans people have infiltrated academia and the only reason people refuse to see gender as an immutable biological concept, is because they’re too afraid of the trans cabal to say anything. But also everyone can tell trans people are crazy and haha you have a high suicide rate.” It’s contradictory that’s the point. They need to feel that they’re both counterculture but also they need to be winning at all times so that contradiction is necessary. Also the use of the word “cabal” is a pretty big red flag for all forms of fascism.

9. Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy, 10. Contempt for the weak, 11. Everybody is educated to become a hero and 12. Machismo and weaponry

All of these are kind of interrelated so I’m grouping them together (also this is already fucking long as hell so I don’t wanna bore you any further). You’ll tend to see a love for the military or at least military aesthetics when looking through fascist blogs. Guns aren’t just a tool for fascists, they’re representative of masculinity and the necessity of violence. Pacifists and anyone who refuses to fight are weak and therefore are “degenerate”. If you do not fight, if you are not willing to fight, you cannot be a “hero” (an ubermensch or a matyr). This comes with the fetishization of violence instead of the recognition of violence being an means to an end, and the worship of individuals rather than of communities and organizations. Take Japanese fascists and their lionisation of the imperial military and their desire to once again have an actual army.

Terfs don’t necessarily fit these roles except for arguably 10 considering how much they seem to look down upon the mentally ill and those who commit suicide and surprisingly 11 since that involves the hatred of non-standard sexual activities and terfs hate non-standard sex (this is from the most vanilla bitch who is very uncomfortable with kink but understands its not inherently good or bad). I have a feeling this is more so because terfs are mainly women (there are male terfs ofc) whereas this was written for male led organizations.

13. Selective populism

When fascists talk about “the people” they tend to mean “the people we like”. “The working class” can be translated to “this cishet white christian man from Minnesota who owns land but hey he lives in a rural area so he’s working class right?”. They’ll also tend to have “tokens” who will suddenly become the mouth piece of the entire community they’re supposedly representing even if no one in the community asked them to (i.e. Milo Yiannopoulos).

14. Ur fascism speaks Newspeak

They speak in terms which are both inaccessible to anyone outside of their circles whilst being so simple that once you learn them it becomes easy to understand. They abhor any form of “academic” speech so you’ll rarely see them source things (unless those things happen to agree with their views, which is rare but Jordan Peterson is popular for a reason) and if they do source things they probably wouldn’t have read them fully and will rely on you also not reading them. This is to limit any critical thinking so that your brain is basically jellified into an unquestioning organ which only responds “yes” or “no” and only appeals to a higher authority without any form of reasoning involved. This is why they complain about “the lefts memes being too wordy”... because they’re used to not having to read (this is somewhat tongue in cheek but heyho if the boot fits).

And that’s the 14 main features of fascism, if anyone is displaying multiple of these ideas then they are most likely fascist, and if an organization or group continuously replicates these ideas, then they are definitely fascist. I hope this wasn’t too long but like I said... very complex topic. (Also hopefully this is written well, it’s 10 PM and I am surviving off Irn Bru energy drink). Hope this helped!

#long post #lillypad.txt #ask away #Anon

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rosesgonerogue · 5 years

Text

Just a Friend

Daminette December Day 1

It wasn’t often that Damian had to deal with the Agreste child, but with both their fathers being such big names, it was inevitable. Agreste was preferable to the Bourgeois brat, but he still reeked of a sheltered life. And now Damian was going to have to put up with him for the next several days while Father discussed business with the elder Agreste.

“Remind me why Drake couldn’t come instead?” Damian demanded once again.

“You know the reason,” Bruce sighed. “I was specifically asked to come with one of my sons. But if I come, Tim had to stay behind to keep the company running.”

“Grayson?”

“He’s standing in as Batman.”

“Why couldn’t Todd do that? Or come here?”

Bruce fixed him with a flat stare. “We would either have a slew of corpses, or an international incident on our hands.”

Damian growled, knowing that his father was right. That didn’t mean that he liked this cursed city.

They came to the Agreste mansion all too soon, and Damian already dreaded the awkward conversations that awaited. It had been a few years since he’d been forced to associate with the boy, and Damian could only hope he was somehow less sheltered.

The mansion was more ostentatious than ever. It had a way of looming over people that felt cold. He never would have admitted it, but he almost wished his brothers were here to cause chaos and bring some life into the dead house.

To complete the aura, the door was opened by Agreste’s stoic assistant, the one with glasses and a harsh bun. Gabriel was standing staunchly inside with Adrien at his side, green eyes dull.

“Thank you for travelling all this way, Bruce,” Gabriel said in perfect English. “We welcome you and your son.”

“It was our pleasure,” Bruce said with a cordial smile. “Damian was curious why you wanted one of my sons to come, though.”

“We’ve found a rather interesting young designer, and if things work out in our deals, we were hoping your son might consider modelling her designs, potentially taking the brand over to America.”

Translation: Gabriel thought his son was too good for this, so Damian was stuck modelling for an amateur.

Bruce’s smile tightened ever so slightly, knowing that this would be a hard sell to Damian. “We’ll see how these negotiations go first.”

“Very well. Adrien, why don’t you entertain young Damian in your room?”

Damian bristled at being dismissed in such a manner, but before he could do anything, Adrien actually spoke up.

“Actually, Father, I was wondering if I could show Damian around Paris, maybe introduce him to a friend or two?”

Wow, the boy had a backbone now, as well as friends. Interesting. His friends were probably just as rich and sheltered as Agreste, but maybe they would distract one another until they forgot about Damian entirely. One could hope, anyway.

At least Agreste had a seemingly competent bodyguard, Damian noted as he followed the blond out to the shiny car. The whole way Adrian yammered on about his friends, but in particular some girl named Marinette. With all the praise he was giving her, it was a wonder that this Marinette hadn’t cured cancer yet.

Adrien paused in his praises of her long enough that, despite himself, Damian found himself asking, “Is this Marinette your girlfriend? You certainly have plenty to say about her.”

The boy laughed. “Oh no, Marinette if just a friend, my first friend, really. You’ll love her, just wait.”

“Tt.” Damian couldn’t help the noise of disbelief as he gazed out the car window. He was expecting and dreading being taken to some tourist attraction, but it appeared that they had arrived at… a bakery?

“Marinette is actually the designer you might be working with. She’s amazing, and this is her family’s bakery.”

Ah, Agreste was likely trying to sell the virtues of the girl so Damian would look more kindly on whatever shoddy designs the girl had come up with. It was a more underhanded tactic than he thought Agreste capable of, and kind of impressive.

The bakery was small, but clearly good quality. Damian had to admit that the food appeared to be comparable with Pennyworth’s cooking. At the counter, they were greeted by a petite Asian woman.

“Oh, Adrien, it’s nice to see you again. Are you and your friend here to see Marinette? She warned us you two might be coming. She’s in her room, you know the way up.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Cheng. We’ll head up there now,” Adrien said, leading Damien deeper into the bakery. Before they made it to the hallway, however, they were intercepted by a hulking bear of a man.

Damian tensed -- he was even carrying a weapon, one of those wooden paddle things that were used to get things out of traditional ovens. This man would be formidable because of his size alone, but--

“It’s nice to see more of Marinette’s friends here. Take this up with you,” he said, setting the paddle down to hand Adrien an entire quiche. “You boys are welcome to have some as well, but make sure Marinette eats a slice. She got a commission, and we’re not sure when she last ate or slept.”

Damian sighed as he accepted a pile of plates and forks. So, she was obsessive like Time as well. This girl already sounded exhausting, but breakfast had been a while ago, and the quiche smelled amazing.

Agreste led them through the bakery and up the stairs as Damian attempted to mentally reconcile what could have resulted in the union of the slight Asian woman and the hulking baker. What he expected, however, was not at all what he got.

“We’re here with food, Marinette,” Adrien called as he stepped into the room.

“I’ll eat in a minute, Mom, I just need to finish this applique,” the girl mumbled. She wasn’t visible yet, hidden behind a massive ball gown.

“Marinette, you have a guest,” Adrien said gently.

“Yes, papa, I’m getting plenty of sleep,” she mumbled.

The dress the girl was working on was quite possibly the most intricate thing Damian had ever seen. The dress appeared to be scarlet silk, the skirt resting on layer upon layer of tulle and crinoline, The body of the dress was patterned with hand-appliqued black lace. Normally the color combination would have been garish, but it was vaguely reminiscent of a ladybug, and definitely worthy of the red carpet.

Suddenly Damian was filled with the need to know more about this girl. He heard her humming to herself before making a noise of satisfaction. “There, I’m officially done, now what did you--”

The girl cut off when she peeked from around the gown, eyes wide as she squeaked, “Adrien, what are you doing here? And who is that?”

He had never had such an absurdly intense reaction before to merely seeing someone’s face and hearing their voice. Her eyes were wide in shock, and they were the bluest eyes Damian had ever seen, complimenting her blue-black hair that looked unbelievably soft. As he contemplated taking that hair out of its pigtails and -- holy infatuation, Batman, Damian was beginning to sound like Grayson. Besides, this girl looked more like a Wayne than Damian himself did.

“Marinette, meet Damian Wayne, one of your potential models,” Adrien said in English, most likely for Damian’s benefit.

“That was today!” the girl exclaimed, in adorably accented English as she scrambled to get off of the ground where she had been kneeling to finish the dress. “I’m so sorry, I got so wrapped up in this commission and lost track of time. I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng, it’s nice to meet you, Damian.” She finally emerged from behind the dress and held out a hand. It was warm and unexpectedly calloused, but tiny, just like her. She was almost pixie-like, obviously taking more after her mother than her father.

“It’s a pleasure,” Damian said, shaking her hand longer than was strictly necessary. “This dress is truly a work of art.”

“Oh, you speak French!” Marinette said delightedly. Honestly, he hadn’t noticed he’d switched languages. “My English is okay, but your French sounds amazing!”

“Well clearly your sewing ability surpasses almost anything I’ve ever seen before. Now I can’t wait to see what your fashion line has to offer.” Why was he saying this? Why was Damian smiling in an imitation of Grayson whenever he was near a female?

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Marinette said, ducking her head to hide her slight blush. “But if you’re going to be my model then I’m going to have to tailor a lot of things to you, so you’re going to have to put up with me for a while.”

“I think I can handle that.”

As Marinette stammered a reply, Adrien awkwardly stood to the side, still holding the quiche. Had… Had Marinette forgotten him? Marinette never forgot him! He was always oddly the center of attention when Marinette was around because they were such good friends! Adrien felt slightly unsettled. He had hoped that Marinette would soften Damian, but he didn’t expect him to smile at her like that.

Throughout the rest of their stay in Paris, Damian found any and every excuse to spend any moment with Marinette. Bruce was curious and slightly suspicious about this turn of events. He expected this kind of thing from Dick, but it was entirely baffling from Damian.

One night when Damian had been out particularly late with Marinette, Bruce decided to wait up. He heard the door opening followed by Damian murmuring lowly in French, and… was that a chuckle? Yes, his son was softly laughing into his phone. The slight smile dropped off of the boy’s face when he met Bruce’s eyes and he murmured, “I’ll talk to you later, Angel.”

Raising an eyebrow, Bruce asked, “Angel?”

He regretted the way Damian instantly snapped into his rigid, emotionless persona. “Is something wrong, Father?”

Bruce was quick to say, “You’re not in trouble, Damian. I’m just worried, you’ve never been in a relationship before, and this all seems--”

“You’re mistaken, Father,” Damian interrupted. “Marinette and I are just friends.”

Bruce nodded and was going to leave the subject there before a small smirk crawled across the boy’s face. “For now, at least.”

Hi! I’m kind of new to this community, but you can call me Rose! Or Rogue, whichever you prefer! I found this pairing just a while ago, and when I saw the prompts for Daminette December, I got so freaking excited! I don’t do a lot of romance writing, so this is kind of an experiment. I want to get better at it, so please, let me know how I’m doing! Unfortunately, not all of the prompts will be this long, I’ve got finals coming up. I’ll try to keep up posting daily, though!

Taglist:

@ozmav @daminette-december2019 @maribat-archive

#daminette #maridami #daminette december 2k19 #maribat #marinette x damian #damimari #just a friend

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party-gilmore · 4 years

Text

New SPN Theory: okay hear me out - incoming Fictional Theology that may mangle a few things but it's all in good fantasy and to alleviate some of my own personal discomfort at G-d being portrayed Like That.

Chuck isnt actually The God.

He's thinks he's The Almighty and fully believes it and has most of the necessary memories associated with it BECAUSE, drumroll please...

...he's actually the youngest of the pagan gods (albeit incredibly powerful) born into existence by the sheer number of radical, evangelical, frightening fervent worshippers all over the earth who believe in this wildly inaccurate, fictitious, end all be all perfectionist micro-managing judgement day apocalypse/revelations obsessed twisted TPTB version of Him.

The sheer power of their belief and worship had to go SOMEWHERE, and it wasn't to the actual Creator because They were so very far removed from this fictional version of Herself made up based on homophobic translations of the misogynist translations of the racists translations of the original text (also conveniently explaining meta-wide SPN and its TPTB and their own trouble with such content) to the point where there was hardly any similarity at all.

And so came into being Chuck - a pagan god born from the power of enough people's belief in an almost tulpa-like manner, who's frightening power is less because of the strength of his followers beliefs and more because a core tenet OF those beliefs is his ommipotence.

Because they believe he created everything, HE believes he created everything, and has even convinced his own self that he has the memories to back it up - to a degree. He's working with an incomplete deck and he knows it, repressed that part of himself that knows he's not The God and shoved it away, but some lingering instinct remains.

He spends so long not revealing himself to the angels because part of him knows there's gaps in his memories that cant be found in, or even outright contradicts, what's publically available to the believers that bolster him and what's in the available lore.

Things like, what his first words were to certain angels, discussions he might've had with then right after Lucifer's fall, etc. Personal stuff that if he spends too much time around them, might get found out he doesnt know.

It was touch and go there for a while when The Darkness came around, because truth be told he only had vague insinuations and as much info as the Winchesters could dig up that one - but luckily, it turns out The Darkness had been sealed away for so long, her perception of her original Sibling was so faded there was no way she was going to recognize any differences. Chuck's vague omniscience (as granted him by any one who believed in a god who patrolled your mind for sinful thoughts to punish you even if you dont act on them) let him keep one step ahead by skimming her surface thoughts and emotions whenever around her.

ANYWAY ALL THAT TO SAY:

We get to the end of series.

And The Actual Almighty has had enough.

They stepped away in the first place, so long ago, because in order for Free Will to matter, for ANYONE'S choices to matter, everyone's choices had to matter. Even the shitty people. Even the evil beings.

If She were to begin picking and choosing which courses of action He thought were good versus evil, or if They let some consequences or butterfly effects occur but others, isnt that just arbitrarily ignoring Free Will for one in favor of another? It's still saying "I dont think this choice should happen, so even though theyve made it, I'm removing it from the table." They would be no more than a puppet master. Of happy puppets, but puppets nonetheless.

No, regardless of morality, remaining involved would invalidate the entire point of Her creation: life must be able to make choices, good AND bad - so long as it's a choice. He must even remove himself from the presence of The Host, for as long as they are with Her they will only think of what to do that would be pleasing to Him, as opposed to what they themselves want.

And now, this Chuck fellow is making quite a stink.

Normally, Her own rules state that They shouldnt get involved, but in this case Free Will is already being removed from His creations. Something on a smaller scale happened once before, but the Winchesters through their own choices and will subverted that path.

This is on a much larger scale though, so perhaps They should get involved. Just a little bit. So She disguises Themself and finds Dean in an abandoned gas station on an empty earth, and Dean calls Him his little Miracle.

From then it's canon-divergent from mid 15x19 where the dog is basically G-d but like in the same way as the armadillo in Road to El Dorado, where She helps in clever little unnatural ways to aid the boys in their task so as to never openly reveal His hand.

Also when They go and get Cas from the empty, because of course He does, She has a wonderful little talk with him where Cas gets to be filled and surrounded by a divine presence of love and pride and delighted surprise that is telling him you were right to think for yourself, right to step away from simply trying to please Me to living for your own, right to love. You were never broken; there was never a crack in your chassis - you are the ONLY one who did what I hoped you all would. Castiel - Cas - you are my beloved son and i am so, so proud of you and it's all at once Motherly and Fatherly and also something wholly Neither, and Cas realizes that this whole time the "divine" has just been a massively scaled up macrocosm of humanity, in it's staggering entirety (or rather, the other way around since it was the Divine which begat Man), so of course They understand

Cas steps back onto this earth with new confidence in his purpose (to fight for his family and this world) and new assuredness of self (in that he is fully at ease with the massive yet now feather light awareness of his love for Dean) and neither of the brothers can figure out why he's being so formal to their dog and Cas Wont Tell Them.

He does, however, tell Jack that he spoke with his real actual Grandmother and that He is so, so very proud of him and They love him and She just knows he's going to do great things.

Halfway because They asked Cas to pass on the message, but only if he wished, and the other half because he knew Jack deserved to hear it.

#supernatural #spn

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fic-ify · 3 years

Text

Pocket Beel! (part 2 of 2)

Welcome back! Here continues the dorkiness of my OC Max while trying to keep an eye on miniaturized Beel. Big thank you again to @boxbusiness for inspiring this fic and @thatfanfictionchick for hyping me to write it.

Warnings: none, it’s fluff

She was warm, very warm, and there was a weird pressure against the base of her throat that she couldn’t identify in her half-sleep. A low grumble escaped her before a yawn pressed against her lips and escaped. She blinked sleepy eyes open, slowly focusing on Belphie’s sleeping face in front of her and finally noticing the arm wrapped over her waist.

A soft huff left her as she raised a hand and ran her fingers through her bed invader’s hair, briefly wondering how he’d made it through the locked door. A matter she wasn’t entirely surprised over if she thought about it. One sleep hazed eye opened to look at her, watching her smile in greeting. That gaze flickered down and the soft grunt of discontent he gave made her glance down as well.

“Cheeky.” She chuckled as she looked down at Beel where his head was poking out the neck of her sweatshirt, the rest of him hidden under the fabric against her chest. In his sleep he looked so happy and peaceful she couldn’t be mad. She was just glad he wasn’t in his demon form. Even at this size, his horns would be a pain against the sensitive skin of her neck.

“Asmo figured out a trick for his clothes.” Belphie’s low voice said to her, his arm tightening around her and drawing her attention back to him. “Not sure we can get them back to normal, but at least he’ll be comfy.”

“Thank you Belphie.” She gave him a chaste peck against his lips. To which he frowned, looking for all the world like she’d flicked him in the forehead instead.

“Kiss me properly.”

“Why don’t you do it yourself?” She giggled, earning a playful growl before he leaned forward to do just so. His lips captured hers fully as his hand guided her onto her back so he could lean over her. She hummed against his mouth, opening for him to let his tongue lazily explore her own.

“Oi! No lip mackin’ on the human’s bed!” The door slammed open, barely preceding Mammon’s shouting. Belphie pulled away lazily and glared over his shoulder at his brother. “Get yer butts outta bed. Dinner’s almost done.” Though the message the second born had been given had been delivered, he refused to leave the doorway, glaring back at his youngest brother with his arms crossed.

“Alright alright, we’re up.” She shoved lightly against Belphie, rolling him off her so she could sit up. She looked down at Beel, still dozing in her shirt. “Beel baby, time to wake up. Dinner is ready.” Ignoring Mammon’s indignant squawk and stammering at seeing the little demon in her clothing, she watched Beel wake up slowly. His eyes brightened at the recognition of talk of food.

“Here.” A small bundle landed on her lap from Belphie while Beel climbed out of her top. She looked down to see what looked to be shrunken versions of Beel’s casual clothing. The little demon hopped down onto her lap and grabbed them before ducking behind her for some attempt at privacy. Not that his she or his twin hadn’t seen him in much less, but with Mammon still playing watchdog and the already present humiliation of his size, he clearly wanted a moment.

“Ready!” He popped back out, dressed up in his sweatpants and t-shirt looking much more comfortable. Belphie lowered a hand to him before raising him and sliding him into his breast pocket on his jacket. Max giggled at the sight of Beel’s head and arms hanging out of the pocket, perfectly content in his spot.

Dinner passed without too much fuss that evening, or at least no more than usual. Beel stood anywhere from his plate to various spots on the table, sneaking bite-sized servings from the dishes. Levi and Asmo took various pictures and recordings of the whole ordeal, the latter making cooing and squealing noises at the cuteness of his little brother. Mammon moaned and griped about how it wasn’t a big deal and ‘how could someone so small be more interesting than THE Great Mammon?’ Or at least he did until he talked himself into the idea of either selling Beel or selling pictures of him. Both ideas were shot down immediately by Belphie and Max.

Eventually, Beel hopped down into Max’s lap and snuggled down to take what seemed to be a food-induced nap. It was the first time in weeks that they had plenty of leftovers to get them each through lunch the next day if they wanted. Lucifer and Satan both dismissed themselves as the table was being cleared, not surprising anyone since they had been the least involved in the dinner antics. With Beel slipped into her sweatshirt pocket, Max followed Belphie and Levi into the kitchen with the intent of finding some dessert.

“Movie night?” Her question was answered by a grunt from where Belphie had hunched over the table to sleep, and an affirmative from Levi washing the dishes. She set about making popcorn and snacks, giggling a bit when Beel flew from her sweatshirt and out onto the counter to pilfer through said snacks. The mood was comfortable between the four of them, rather, three and a tenth of them. She and Levi discussed the possible movie options, eventually narrowing it down to a psychological thriller from the human realm. When she turned back around to check on Beel and the snacks, she could have cried.

“He may be the size of a sulfur rat but he still eats like a boar,” Belphie commented as he spoonfed his twin pudding. Two empty pudding cups sat beside them on the table and the one they were working on was about half empty. The spoon was nearly the size of Beel’s face, but he didn’t seem to mind as he gobbled it down happily. “I’m never going to let you live this down.” He told Beel, who very much ignored him in favor of another mouthful. Levi and Max exchanged a glance before whipping out their D.D.Ds and snapping a photo of the pair.

“Alright! Movie time!” She announced, gathering the bowls of popcorn and several bags of snacks in her arms. Levi led the way and Belphie trailed with Beel once again in the breast pocket of his jacket. The two of them were discussing something but their voices were too low for her to make out. Not that she needed to listen, she was just curious.

By the time they had settled in in the movie room, Mammon and Satan had both joined. The former talking himself up to show that he wasn’t scared even as he insisted on sitting next to Max on the couch. The latter settled into an armchair a little behind the rest with a book, but she had a feeling he would end up paying attention to the movie in the end. Belphie laid across the rest of the couch with his head in her lap and Levi made himself comfortable on the floor with some pillows. The last one to get settled was Beel, who dove quite literally into the bowl of popcorn in her hands and vanished amongst the kernels.

“Have you seen this already Max?” Satan asked while the movie started and trailers rolled.

“I saw the original when I was younger, my dad was big into suspense and action movies.” She laughed a little as a thought came to mind. “That honestly explains a lot about myself now.” The comment earned her a few chuckles before they settled down.

Levi and Satan were both quickly enthralled, Belphie had fallen asleep and she wondered if he had been awake at all since he’d laid down. Mammon was trying very hard not to seem like he was curling into her side but she could tell by his fidgeting feet and grip on her arm that he wasn’t doing so hot with the movie. To better anchor and distract him she pulled her arm free from his grasp and wrapped it behind him around his waist. The touch seemed to do the trick when he relaxed into it and his feet stopped moving.

“Beel you have butter and salt in your hair.” She whispered when the little redhead poked his head out of the popcorn again. He grinned up at her playfully, shoving an entire piece into his mouth instead of replying. She just shook her head and smiled in return before focusing again on the movie, vaguely aware of the soft crunches coming from the snack in her hands.

“Max, sleep!” Beel’s tiny voice called out to her from his spot on Belphie’s head as they walked from the movie room to their respective bedrooms. When she looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, he pointed to the bedroom door they were now in front of. It was the twin’s room.

“He wants you to spend the night with us.” Belphie translated for her. She hesitated for a moment, thinking of the homework she wanted to get a head start on that was waiting for her in her room. When the twins didn’t immediately receive an answer, Beel turned on his stupid puppy dog pout that, at any other time was already effective. At his current size, it was practically fatal.

“Fine, fine! Let me just go change and I’ll come over.” Both looked ready to insist she could wear some of their clothes to sleep but she was already walking away to her room. At least this way she could take care of her nightly routine before being commandeered away in their room. She just hoped Belphie would let her get out of bed at a reasonable time this time.

“Where’s Beel at?” Max asked curiously when she walked into the twins’ room twenty minutes later. Belphie was laid flat on his stomach on his bed but the smaller brother was nowhere to be seen.

“Bath,” He snorted at her utterly horrified look. “He’s in the sink, don't worry. I’m not too fond of drowning my brother. Not terribly satisfying when he’s so small.” While he might have had a point there, it didn’t mean she was overly fond of it. Instead of responding she walked over to the bathroom door and gave it a light knock.

“You doin’ okay in there Babs?” She listened carefully and relaxed when she heard an ‘I’m okay!’ in affirmation. A huff from Belphie alerted her to the youngest brother’s discontent. Though if it was due to her disbelief in his honesty or the fact that she still hadn’t cuddled up to him, she wasn’t quite sure.

“I’m going to fall asleep without you if you don’t hurry up.” Belphie threatened, rolling onto his side to face and glare at her.

“You’d do that no matter what pace I moved at.” She pointed out but yielded by approaching his bed anyway. She slid in under the covers and under his offered arm, settling in in front of him with a warm smile. “There, happy now? Needy demon boy.” That earned her a playfully light bite to the tip of her nose before he used his arm around her waist to draw her closer. Before he could start anymore mischief that would end in a much longer night than she needed at the moment, she turned onto her other side, forcing him to be her big spoon.

A low growl was muffled into the back of her neck when he begrudgingly pulled her close against him. It was a noise that said he knew what she was doing and a change of positions wasn’t going to stop him. She knew it wouldn’t but it would give Beel more time to leave the bathroom. And about a minute later, as the sloth demon’s hands had started to caress and wander, the bathroom door finally opened.

Pocket demon-form Beel hovered out of the doorway and across the room to them eagerly. His hair was still a little damp but was clearly much cleaner from his adventures in the popcorn bowl. She blew on his head gently, causing him to squawk indignantly and giggle before attempting to hide under the pillow.

“You’re both disgusting.” Belphie said, his tone displaying the eye roll she was sure was occurring at the back of her head. She ignored him in favor of reaching for Beel and coaxing him out to nestle against her neck under her chin. A happy hum escaped him, sounding much like what she remembered a kitten’s purr to be like.

“Night you two.”

“Night! Love you Max!” Beel called out, breaking off with a yawn before going silent again. Belphie echoed him though his words were lost as a mumble as he fell asleep quickly before either of them. Not that she was far behind him, she noted as her eyes drew heavy and her body finally relaxed after the long day.

For the first time in a while, the overbearing heat of a demon body beside her was not the source to wake her up. Nor was the monstrous growling that seemed to reverberate through her bones. Rather it was the fact that she was currently being suffocated beneath whatever, or whoever, was the cause of those two factors.

“Beel!” She squealed, wiggling under the once again fully grown gluttony demon to no avail, no matter how much she jabbed at him with her fingers. “Beeeeeel! You’re crushing me Babs.” Finally she felt him stirring, a heavy sigh focused on the crook of her neck that caused her to shudder, and his arms further wrapping around her.

“You’re pokey.” He complained, rolling over onto his back and effectively pulling her on top of him. This she could handle. “Five more minutes.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the Avatar of Sloth.” A second voice teased with a sleep filled voice. A third arm wrapped around her where Beel’s arms didn’t cover as Belphie snuggled into his brother’s side and half splayed his limbs over her.

Sloth indeed. She thought affectionately, relaxing into their cuddles once again to drift back asleep. She could enjoy Beel being fully grown later, for now it seemed she was being held hostage in the bed once again.

Not that she was complaining.

#obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me beelzebub #pocket beel #obey me fluff

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