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#this was after work yesterday and presently on my lunch today
afternoonapocalypse · 2 months
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@gayballs-mcgee tagged me to stop drop and selfie. I technically stop dropped and selfied when I saw this yesterday, but got distracted and forgot to post it.
So you’re getting yesterday and today. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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Just shooting out a handful of names, but we’ll say @i-normally-dont, @demonrunningwild, @noiremecanique, @isitahairbrush, @sara-vegass, @risingatlas, @halfknife, @dragonbear-owlturtle, & @unnatural-twenty.
Also anyone else that feels like participating. 🩶
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alotofpockets · 1 month
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Birthday wish | Mary Earps x Reader
Summary: Where you surprise Mary for her birthday.
Woso masterlist | Words: 1.2k
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Your wife has been the England goalkeeper for quite some years now, but her being away on camp, and away for matches never got easier. With quality time and physical touch being your main love languages, it was hard being away from her. Mary always made sure to video call you once a day when she was away. It didn't matter if she was surrounded by her teammates or not, she would get the call in before you headed to bed. 
You had been missing her a lot today, so when you heard your phone ring in the other room, you rushed to it to answer. “Hi baby, I missed you so much!” Mary's face lights up at your words, “I missed you too, my love.” You hear a chuckle in the background, “She really did, y/n/n, she wouldn't shut up about you.” Mary rolled her eyes, “Shut up, Bright.” 
She focussed her attention back on you. “How was your day?” After Millie's comment it was hard to wipe the smile off of your face. “It was alright, I did some chores and errands today. Too little distraction to not miss you constantly though.” Mary knew you struggled with time apart from each other for longer periods of time. While she was always working when those periods happened, she put extra effort into texting you about her day, no matter how much teasing from her teammates it got her. “How was your day?” Mary told you about practice and their afternoon off. “Oh, and just checking, you haven't opened your birthday present yet, right?” Mary shook her head, “I have not. I promised you I wouldn't, my love.” Mary's birthday would be during camp, and though you had planned to celebrate together when she would be back home, you still wanted to gift her something for the day off.
After you hung up the phone you immediately texted Millie.
You: Hey Mills, can you help me with something?
A couple days later it was your wife's birthday, you had sent her a voice note wishing her a happy birthday, and texted her that you were heading into work. Millie was an hour behind, so you knew she wasn't awake yet. With one more picture of you sent her way, you headed to the car.
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y/nearps just posted
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Liked by 1maryearps and others
y/nearps: Happy birthday to my wonderful wife. May you always be a kid at heart. I love you.
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Back at camp, while Mary was still asleep, Millie opened the hotel room for the rest of the team. When everyone had quietly moved into the room, Millie counted down from three on her hands. After one, everyone in the room loudly started singing, “Happy birthday to you.” Mary sat up in the bed instantly with widened eyes, in shock from the loud wake up call. “Happy birthday dear Mary, happy birthday to you!” She should've known her teammates were up to something, there had been whispers all around her yesterday.
A couple hours later, when training was done, the team met for lunch in the dining hall. The whole team, including staff this time, sang happy birthday to Mary. She got her present from the coaches, and blew out the candles on the cake. While everyone is enjoying a piece of cake, Millie speaks up. “We've got one more thing.” She walked up to the small podium where the projector was stationed, and connected her phone. A still of your face showed upon connection, and the team started whistling, making Mary roll her eyes jokingly. Millie pressed play, and moved to the side. “Hello my birthday girl, and everyone else who is watching along.” You waved to the camera. “I hope you will have an amazing birthday. You have a lot of great people surrounding you today, so I know it will be great. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. Anyways, happy birthday baby, I love you. See you soon.” You ended the video with blowing a kiss.
When everyone settled down Beth turned to Mary, “It's disgusting how in love you two are.” Mary raises her eyebrows, “You're one to talk, Mead.” The rest of the group laugh at the both of you.
Mary grabs her phone to send you a text.
Mary: Just saw your video. Thank you so much my love ❤️
She didn't expect you to text back instantly, but she immediately felt giddy when she saw you were typing.
Y/n: Ofc baby, I wanted to make sure your day had some nice surprises :)
Y/n: Speaking of surprises, have you opened your present already?
Mary: Not yet, I wanted to open it on call with you.
Y/n: I have a moment now, if you're free?
Mary: Yes! Give me like 5 minutes? The team has been nosy, so I'm gonna head to the room quickly.
Y/n: Okay baby, take your time.
Mary quickly made her way to her room, her phone ready to call in her hand when she opened the door. She was about to press call when she noticed something from the corner of her eye. She looked up and could not believe her eyes. Under a bundle of balloons stood the person she had just wanted to call. So, instead of pressing call, she ran into your arms. “You're here? You are really in Italy with me?” You smiled and kissed her lips. “I am, until the end of the week. Happy birthday, baby.” After a few more kisses, Mary takes your hand and guides you to the side of the bed. “I am so glad you're here. I've missed you so much. I wished for you to be here when I blew out the candles earlier. I'm going to need to take these birthday wishes more seriously, if all it did was one wish to get you here.” You peck her lips, “You're very cute, but I think instead of the birthday candles you should thank Millie, she helped me set all of this up.”
You spend a moment together, just the two of you to catch up on some cuddles, and just conversation. Mary opened the gift you got her. It was a necklace that matched with her wedding ring, and had it engraved with the date of your wedding in it. Mary loved it a lot, she had been saying she wanted more necklaces, so this was both perfect and super special.
In the meantime Millie had shared the plans she had set up with you with the rest of the groups, so they understood why their goalkeeper was away for so long. When the two of you made your way over to the group, you hugged all of the girls. 
While the girls would be busy with training during your stay, you know you were going to have a great few days here. The team had the afternoon off, so with Mary and a few of the girls you explored some parts of Italy. It was safe to say that Mary had a great birthday, with you by her side.
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milfjuulpod · 8 months
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Gifts Aplenty
req: yes
please write something about melissa going to a farmer’s market every weekend and buys things she doesn’t need because she is infatuated with reader, who has a table. just something fluffy and cute!!
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A/N: thank you so much for sending this in! apologies for taking so long with it, i’ve been feeling a little meh about my writing lately, so i hope this turned out alright for ya 🖤
The sound of your doorbell was heard from your kitchen, and immediately nerves and excitement surged through you. Today Melissa was coming over for the first time. After mentioning a crafting project you were taking on, Melissa offered to help get you started. The two of you became close relatively quickly, a bit of a surprise to you (and everyone else). The second grade teacher was known for having a tough exterior and a bit of an edge, but that’s what you liked about her, and she liked something about you too. 
    You opened the door, and there she was. Melissa looked at you like she was surprised you were there, hands full of bags to help with the day. “Hi! Welcome to my humble abode,” you said, opening the door fully and taking a step back to let her in. Melissa walked to your living room and took her time taking everything in. “Humble indeed, where’s all your decorations, kid? Your desk at work is covered in little toys, I’m surprised the coffee table isn’t the same,” she said, sitting herself down on your couch. You crossed the room and sat down next to her, trying to ignore how happy it made you that she noticed your work desk and its many inhabitants. “Yeah, well, I haven’t had much time to get stuff for my house. Plus what do you put on a coffee table? I know nothing about interior design,” You replied, earning a chuckle from the redhead next to you. “We’ll work on it. But first, the actual work I came to do.”
       The rest of the day was spent close to Melissa, working mostly in silence as the two of you attempted to figure out how to build a bookshelf. “Why didn’t you just buy one from Ikea? They come with instructions y’know,” Melissa teased. “I like things to be homemade, have a personality. I don’t know, personal preference I guess,” You found yourself being more honest and open with Melissa the longer she spent time in your home. Unbeknownst to you, what you just said would stick in her mind for weeks to come. 
       The following Monday was like any other, a quick drive to work, pick up coffee, meet everyone in the break room. Your coworkers were filing in one by one, surrounding the tv in the back to catch up on the news. Melissa was one of the last to come in, but when she did, you noticed the extra bags she was carrying. She smiled a hello to you and motioned for you to come closer to her. “Good morning, what’s all this?” You asked. “I went to the farmer’s market yesterday morning, figured I’d bring in some extra breakfast. You hungry?” Melissa answered your question with a question. Nodding, you took one of the pastries she brought in. There was another bag in the redhead’s hand, small, with what looked like a homemade logo on it. She was hiding it behind her leg, like a child giving someone a present. 
        “Hey, uh, come by my room during lunch, kid.” Melissa told you, and before you could question why, she was walking out the door to her own room. Shaking it off, you tried to tune in to the tv. Emphasis on try—the only thing going on inside your head was the older woman you just spoke to. Melissa often was on your mind as of lately, the way she talked to you, so soft like she was nervous. The way she jumped to take care of you, how beautiful she managed to be every single day, even at 7:30 in the morning. So naturally, you spent the next three periods a bit scatterbrained, only thinking of the woman you wanted to spend all day with. 
       When the lunch bell rang, you practically jumped from your chair and nearly ran your students to the cafeteria. Anxiously, you made your way to Melissa’s classroom. You knocked three times and heard a loud ‘come in!’ Melissa sat at her desk, glasses holding up her hair as she looked over papers from the morning. “Hi honey, come sit. I got you something,” She said. Honey, you thought. That was new, you’ve heard kid, and more recently hon, but honey was new, and it made your cheeks red and warm. From under her desk, she pulled out the bag from this morning, with the tiny logo on the front. She walked to the table you sat yourself at and placed the gift in front of you. As if she was trying to get a reaction from you, she sat herself down in the chair right next to you, knees brushing against each other. 
       Out of the bag, you pulled a candle holder, decorated like it was a small tree, covered in roots and leaves. It was the prettiest one you’ve ever seen. “You…This is for me? It’s so pretty Melissa, thank you…” You said, unable to pull your eyes away from your present from the redhead you were slowly falling in love with. “Yeah, I remember you said you didn’t have anything to decorate with, so I figured this would be a step in the right direction. Is it okay? Do you like it?” She asked, nerves evident in the way her voice shook. “Of course I do, it’s gorgeous. Thank you,” you turned to finally look at her, both of you sitting just inches apart, cheeks pink and palms sweaty. “Eh, it’s nothing,” Melissa replied. 
       The following Monday was the same. Arrive at work, get breakfast from Melissa, and go to her room at lunch for another present. And the Monday after that, and the Monday that followed.  By the end of the month, your coffee table was full of trinkets from Melissa. You loved coming home and seeing the gifts she got for you, each one reminded you of the woman in a different way, and how special you were to her. You were aware of the feelings you had for the redhead, and with the past month of being showered in her affection, it grew each and every day. 
      So, you asked Melissa to come over for a movie and dinner Friday after work, to which, of course, she said yes. Looking at your phone, it said 6:28, right around the time you told her to stop by. As if you summoned her with your thoughts, you heard a knock at the door. Opening it, you were greeted with Melissa wearing a low cut top and leggings, so casual yet somehow it made your mouth water and your eyes go wide. “Are you gonna let me in?” She teased, and pushed her way beside you to come inside. “You put up the trinkets? All of them?” She asked, unable to pull her eyes from everything she bought you spread out with such care on your table. You closed the front door and followed Melissa to the living room, sitting down on the couch and motioning for her to do the same. 
      “Of course I did, Mel. They’re special to me,” You told her honestly. The redhead beside you opened her mouth to say something, but quickly decided against it and averted her gaze. “Why did you buy all of these for me?” You asked. Melissa looked shocked that you would ask such a thing, as if the answer was obvious. “I…I don’t know. You said you didn’t have much to decorate with so I just started picking stuff up that reminded me of you. Just like they’re special to you…” She trailed off. You gave her a look to continue and thankfully, she did. “You’re special to me. I don’t know what this feeling is, I just…” She stopped again. With a deep breath, you finished her thought. “You just…want to be with me all the time? And get me things? Cook for me? Help me inside and outside of work?” 
        She chuckled, cheeks turning pink out of embarrassment. You held her hand gently, hoping she would get the message. Just in case she didn’t, you continued. “You like me, don’t you?” Melissa finally brought her green eyes to meet yours again, and nodded slowly. “Good. Because I like you too, I don’t invite just anybody over multiple times and spend all my hours with them. Just you, Melissa.” You watched her eyes wander from your own to your lips, and back up again, asking a silent question. You smiled at the action, whether she meant to do it or not. The older woman took that as a yes, and cupped your cheek. You leaned into her touch, and leaned even farther into her, finally pressing your lips together after all this time. The two of you ran out of breath rather quickly, nerves high as ever. “I’m glad you came over tonight,” You told her, foreheads against each other. Melissa smiled and the pink came back to her cheeks again. “Yeah, me too hon.”
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immajustvibehere · 1 year
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Spark (3/8)
Arthur Morgan x fem!Reader - Enemies to Lovers
Series summary: An impulsive and reckless girl who stands for everything Arthur tries to overcome joins the gang. Even worse, she is related to Micah Bell. What starts off as a relationship of mistrust and hate slowly transforms into a beautiful, deeper connection, as both parties realise that there is more to the other person than what meets the eye at first.
Chapter 3 summary: After the argument you had with Arthur when robbing Chez Porter, you worsen the situation by taking Arthur's journal.
Link to my masterlist
first chapter, second chapter
2600 words, 15 minutes reading time
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Neither Arthur nor you rode back to camp right away. You took a little detour to look for something you could shoot and present Pearson. Yesterday you had forgotten to deliver him fresh meat and you tasted its absence in the stew you could barely swallow. The time alone would give you the opportunity to wind down and with a job already successfully done, you didn’t have to worry about the money you’d put into the donations box today. You sighed and readjusted you position in the saddle. What you couldn’t understand is why Arthur was so opposed to your methods. For a second you gave in to the thought that you might be biased, since you almost always worked alone and if you didn’t, Micah was your partner in crime.
Arthur also opted for a scenic route before returning to camp. He’d stop in Valentine to get some provisions, maybe take in lunch at the saloon and then ride back. No matter which distraction he tried, he couldn’t blur out the conversation he had had with you. Why did you know so much about him? What was this hint of him leaving his family behind? You couldn’t possibly know about that. Was it that obvious? Arthur still heard you yell that neither he nor you got something to live for. He’d like to deny it, but honestly, he couldn’t. He had felt like that for a long time and yet he was aware that he was one of the main providers for the gang. Maybe with you around, bringing in money and food, he wasn’t needed anymore.
But no, there was this underlying feeling that you wouldn’t be good for the gang. The couple of days Micah was imprisoned in Strawberry were one of the quietest and most peaceful the gang had experienced in a long time. And now there were two Bells in the gang, and one talked more crap than the other. It was like you were striving to be a little Micah, the way you listened to Dutch and harassed everyone else.
The first time he saw you sitting in Micah’s camp, he thought you were a victim, maybe some girl Micah kidnapped, but it dawned on Arthur that you couldn’t be the one he should feel sorry for. But having nothing to live for and running towards bullets like you didn’t care for injury or death was appalling to watch. He had thought Micah reckless when they were shooting their way through Strawberry for his guns, but you had taken it to a new level that Arthur didn’t quite understand.
With a buck strapped to your horse you returned to camp some time in the afternoon. As you dismounted and started to unstrap the carcass from your horse’s back, you heard someone coming closer. “Need some help?”. It was the Indian. He wouldn’t stop offering help, no matter what you did. It irritated you. It was a constant reminder that there was always someone somewhere that considered you not strong enough. Just two days ago he had offered you his assistance when he saw you buckle under the weight of an overloaded sack of potatoes. You had refused and stumbled to the food waggon. “I’m good”, you replied briefly, watching him in the corner of his eye.
You knew he didn’t approve of you. He had voiced his disdain for your methods a couple of times when you tipsily told some of your stories at the campfire, and yet he was always kind. Why? You wished it would stop because it made you feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for rejecting him every time he asked so very kindly, and this irritated you even more.
“Pearson! You better make something good out of this or you’re going into the pot next!”, you exclaimed as you threw the deer onto his working table, knocking over some bowls with vegetables. “Much appreciated, Miss y/l/n”, Pearson answered, already picking up the vegetables on the ground. Pearson was the first person in the gang who accepted that your last name wasn’t Bell, but the name you inherited from your mother. To be fair, he learned it the hard way when he called you “Bell” and you yelled at him. You hated people assuming that this was your last name. Deep down you appreciated Pearson calling you correctly, though you never told him specifically.
As you headed towards your tent, you passed Arthur’s. There it was. Your eyes caught it immediately – a little notebook with leather binding. You had seen Arthur writing in it almost every evening and you had to admit you were curious.  A quick glance over your shoulder to make sure nobody was nearby and watching and as smoothly as possible, you picked the journal up and strut a little outside camp. Horseshoe Overlook was a fine camping spot. You enjoyed sitting at the edge of the cliff to let your legs dangle, often drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, or smoking your last cigarette in the evening. But now you walked a little further than your normal spot, so the person on guard duty, Micah as you quickly assessed, wouldn’t notice you.
Dusk was approaching, the sun was slowly sinking behind the mountains, getting more orange and redder as it continued to disappear. But there was still enough light to see what was in Arthur’s notebook. When you flipped it open you landed on a double page containing a sketch of the camp-site. Your jaw dropped. You didn’t know that Arthur could draw. And so well…
You continued to browse through the journal, always skipping to the pages where something was drawn on. And there were plenty of those. Little birds, deer, sceneries, and old cabins that looked intriguing. You recognized a tree with bottles hanging on it from the Heartlands. Something weirdly started to make sense. Maybe it wasn’t all an act that Arthur was putting on. When he scolds you for shooting a witness instead of threatening them. Maybe, this man, as rough an outlaw he maybe seem to be…and though there was money on his head that you couldn’t even dream of ever having (either on your own head or in your pocket), maybe he was…soft.
It looked like he appreciated life, at least. This made you feel a bit sad about the things you had said to him earlier, when you accused him of not having anything to live for. Then you suddenly reached a page in the journal, where your own features were staring back at you.
“Damn”, you mumbled. It was a sketch of you on your horse, when you waited for the bank stagecoach to arrive over a week ago. You hadn’t noticed Arthur watching you. He most certainly didn’t draw you at that moment or at least Micah would have pointed it out. He must have done it later and yet everything seemed to be in its proper place. You remembered wearing the exact shirt and pants he drew you in, he even got the fur pattern of your horse right.
Nobody had ever drawn you before.
Of course, this didn’t mean anything. You knew Arthur didn’t like you and the words on the page surely must confirm this. It took you a few minutes to skip to the next page. Now you were taking in a drawing of a sheep when you heard quick stomping bolting towards you. You managed to turn your head to see Arthur with an angry expression approaching you. How did he come so close without you noticing? You only had time to close his journal and start to stand up, before his big hands landed on your collar and pulled you into a standing position.
You tried to open your mouth, but Arthur only took a second to snatch the book away and push you into the next best tree with his free hand. Nothing could have prepared you for the force he was using. You struggled to get a breath in after the impact, wincing at the bark pressing itself into your back.
Arthur had noticed soon after the job was done and he had arrived in Valentine, that he had forgotten his journal at camp. Dutch had called on him so unexpectedly in the morning, that he didn’t have the time to grab his journal off the table. This wasn’t a big deal, it also wasn’t the first time he had left it at camp. The bad feeling had set in when he saw it missing from where he knew he had left it. For a moment he thought he might have displaced it, but then he saw your empty tent and scanned the grounds for you. He knew you had returned before him. Your horse was grazing not far from his and you had – this time correctly – added money to the donating box and made the entry in the ledger. So, he had feared the worst.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”, Arthur’s voice was low and threatening. He let go of you to quickly skim through the journal and check if you had ripped out pages. But you hadn’t. No, you had turned each page so carefully that you hadn’t even left the smallest crease. If you had some malicious intent, you scrapped that the moment you saw the first drawing. The plan was to look through the notebook and then put it back, never mentioning you ever took it.
After you had caught your breath again, you opened your mouth for some sort of defence you didn’t yet know, but Arthur was faster.
“That’s none of your business”, he said, calmly. He almost burst on the inside though. For a brief moment Arthur thought that if he snapped your neck right here, right now, nobody would know and it would save a lot of problems in the long run. This tiny amount of pity and connection he had felt with you when he had mulled over your words about the futility of life was all gone.
“Yeah, well-“, you started mockingly. You knew you weren’t heading into the right direction. Never before had you been so apprehensive of the idea of teasing Arthur. Not only because his eyes looked at you so fiercely you feared he might hurt you seriously, but also because you wanted to know what was written on those pages. You wanted to know why he drew you and you were aware that he’d never tell you if you didn’t back down now.
But you couldn’t admit you were wrong. He’d hate you either way. He’d despise your actions no matter your decision now.
“If you’re so stupid to let it lie around-“, you started but were interrupted.
“No.” It was a firm no. And then you saw his arms stir and you couldn’t tell if he’d go for a punch or a grab, but you dogged them and slipped past him. But Arthur was quick enough to pull one of your guns out of your holster. You tried to get it back but only grabbed thin air as Arthur wound up and threw it with as much force as he could muster over the ledge of the cliff. It glittered as the sparsely remaining sunlight was reflected on it. The carefully polished metal, the expensive carving,…all of it disappeared in a second when gravity pulled your favourite gun towards the earth. Swallowed up by the forest underneath. You squealed a painful “No!”.
You looked at Arthur incredulous.
“Go”, Arthur said with a nod of his head, “You’re not wanted here.”
“But I did so much the last-“
“No amount of money is worth yer constant complainin’ and insultin’. I haven’t heard ya utter one kind word to anyone in this gang. Ya don’t fit it, y/n. And if you’re not ready to change, which I honestly think yer incapable of, it’s better you go”, Arthur tried to deliver those words calmly, but he was still fuming. It was noticeable by the way he pronounced certain words, spitting them right in your face when he came closer again, entrapping you between him and the tree.
Not this again. It was haunting you. Everywhere you went, it always ended with you not fitting in. It was always you who was kicked out, abandoned, scolded for being different. And you had known it from the very start. When Micah had approached you with his stupid idea of joining this gang, even though you knew you were better off alone, you should have just shut him down and ran off again. But this – this somehow hurt. All of a sudden, it bothered you that it was Arthur who was giving you the final blow. You had just been ready to soften up a bit, especially around him because it seemed you had misunderstood him from the first second Micah had told you about him.
You looked around nervously, a bit at loss about what to do.
“Pack yer things and get outta here”, Arthur repeated his threat, “or I’m gonna throw yer off the cliff too.”
“You don’t mean that”, you replied, way quieter than you had hoped.
“You better believe I mean that”, he said and made a step back, giving you enough space to make a run for it.
You had given up trying to argue, he won’t let you speak. So you sighed and headed of to camp, stomping towards the fire to collect your mug and plate. Arthur watched you. Rage was still coursing through his veins, so it wasn’t until later that night that he remembered your trot to be weird. Determined and strong yes, but your fists clenched and shaking. Arthur watched as you started a discussion with Abigail, who was at the pot, ladling stew onto her plate. Arthur didn’t care to listen in, he only observed Abigail's displeased face and your angry expression. Arthur had just reached his tent, his eyes still glued on you and Abigail, when he saw John stepping in and after he yelled something barely understandable, he delivered such a punch to your face that though Arthur had threatened to kill you two minutes earlier, it made his face distort into a sour expression. It didn’t seem fair. You staggered and almost lost balance. The blow had most certainly silenced you.
The last thing Arthur saw was Abigail pulling John away, who looked like he would have gone for a second punch if she hadn’t stopped him. As Arthur still observed you in the corner of his eyes, dragging your sleeve across your face, he wondered if John had started to care about his family after all. Then he tried his best to not think about you, but instead opened a bottle of gin that stood on the table in his tent. Half an hour later he left it again, looking for something to do tonight. As he walked closer to where the action was going on, he noticed something; a dim light in between the trees under Horseshoe Overlook. It didn’t take him long to realise that it must be you, scouring the grounds for your weapon.
But that was it. A simple observation. He didn’t judge it nor think much about it. Ten seconds later he secured Tilly for a game of dominoes. An hour later he joined the others at the fire, telling stories and singing songs. When he headed back to his tent to call it a night, probably way past midnight by now, he stopped when he again saw the light down below. It disappeared behind the leaves of the trees, before it flashed up a few yards further north, where the forest was lighter. This time, Arthur observed it for longer, even lighting a cigarette to study your movements for a couple of minutes. A peculiar feeling started to creep up in him. He didn’t quite now what to think of it just yet.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Alright, time to fall in love, don't y'all think? ;)
Shoutout to @little-honeypie because supporter and ideas supplier#1
taglist: @xclovers @photo1030 @cowboydisaster <3
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gurugirl · 2 years
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The Queen's Secret Chapter 4*
Summary: The King's jealousy is revealed after Queen Y/n's second session with Prince Harry, and because their session gets cut short, Harry and Y/n make plans to meet later in the night.
Warning: Smut, angst, aggressive male behavior
The Queen's Secret Masterlist
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Chapter 3*
Chapter 4*
The evening after the Queen and the Prince had their first session, they both found it hard to stop thinking about one another. The Queen and the King ate dinner together and while the King did ask how everything went, he seemed very casual about it and not worried in the least.
“It went just as expected. I hope that we can conceive this week and then it will be over with. But of course, we won’t know for sure for another few weeks, maybe even six more weeks before we can know whether I’m pregnant or not. I’ll be glad when it’s over with.” She lied. Of course she didn’t want this to be over with. Harry was an incredible lover and exceeded her expectations in every way. In fact, as she spoke about this to the King she was trying to stop herself from getting warm and working to regulate how her breathing became more labored and her heart rate increased.
She felt herself quite aroused just at the mention of the prince. Her thoughts of what he’d done to her not long before were overwhelming. She couldn’t help herself as she bit into her roasted vegetables and thought of how Harry’s long dick reached into her in a way the King’s never would. She couldn’t stop thinking of the noises he made when he felt her clenching around him, squeezing his meaty cock and the way it felt inside of her, thick and heavy. How he never forgot her clit or her own pleasure. The way his eyes met hers when he ate her out or when they were fucking.
Yes, she felt herself grow a bit damp in her panties at the just the thought of him. She couldn’t wait for the following evening with him again.
At the same time, Harry was reeling over what he’d allowed himself to feel when he was with the Queen. He experienced guilt at how much he liked it, how he enjoyed it far more than he enjoyed anything with Gertrude as of late. But he was hard pressed to not think about the Queen’s body and her soft moans, and the way she made him feel. Their bodies fit together so well and the Queen loved the things he did to her. Harry was already imaging how tomorrow’s session would go. All these thoughts about his Queen had him half hard in his trousers. But he wouldn’t take care of himself this week, not when he’d be with Y/n every night.
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The following day, both Y/n and Harry were in exceptionally good moods. Both had enjoyed one another the day before and their physical needs had been more than met. They were also filled with anticipation of what was to come again that evening.
The Queen had been told to rest during the week she’d be having her sessions with the prince. So her day was spent relaxing, and reading, much like the day before. But today, the King, for some reason was more present than normal. He was being extra kind to her today. He brought to her the lunch that was prepared for her, which would normally be served by staff from the kitchen. When he entered their bedchambers, where the Queen preferred to eat on this day, she was surprised to see Edgar.
On the tray were all the things that would be good for a woman trying to conceive. Edgar placed it on the table where the Queen was sat on the balcony outside. She was reading when Edgar arrived.
“What are you doing serving me my lunch? Don’t you have a meeting you need to be attending right now?” Y/n knew his schedule to the minute. The King should’ve not been here.
“I cancelled. I want to be around today a bit. Yesterday I was only able to see you at dinner but this is a special week for us! Perhaps after your session tonight I can bring you back here and take care of you, you know, since you’re not getting an orgasm out of the deal.” He laughed, as if the matter were silly and lighthearted.
Now, even though the Queen was very well taken care of by Harry yesterday, what if they had just followed the rules? How would this circumstance have been funny or lighthearted at all? It’s quite awful actually. The original plan. She’s happy they secretly did away with the protocols.
“So, you plan on taking me here to give me an orgasm after I’ve been defiled by your brother-in-law?” The Queen figured if the King thought this was funny, she’d join in with her own jokes.
“Defiled? What? No! This is just a procedure that must be endured. Don’t think of it that way, my darling. I’m happy to give you what you need after each session. So, maybe your body will somehow be more open to conceiving. Relaxed and satisfied.”
The Queen couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her lips. The King had to know he was not a winner in bed. He had to have realized he often left her wanting. She made it no secret when she didn’t come. She never faked an orgasm with any man and she made her disappointment evident to Edgar when he’d come and then roll over to go to sleep. The King was not an idiot but this assumption he had was preposterous!
“Edgar… I… how are you going to give me what I need exactly?” The Queen took a bite of her seared leafy greens (which was supposed to provide her with exceptional nutrients her body would need for when she did become pregnant). She winced at the bitter taste but swallowed it down, nonetheless.
“Well, we’ll have sex, my dear. You like having sex. With Harry you aren’t able to enjoy it, but you can with me.” He stood next to her and spoke as if it should be no surprise. Perhaps the Queen underestimated Edgar’s idiocy after all. Maybe he was unaware or never noticed her disappointment.
She ate another bite and sipped the water and thought for a moment how she would tell the King what she wanted to tell him without hurting his feelings too badly, “Edgar… I don’t know how to tell you this but I don’t orgasm most of the time when you and I have sex. Is that not obvious to you, my husband?”
This is a conversation that Y/n knows should have taken place a long time ago. But she’s truly surprised that the King seems dumbfounded by this revelation.
“Why haven’t you told me this? I thought you enjoyed sex with me?” Edgar sat down at the chair opposite the Queen.
“I thought it was obvious. When you and I are together you never take care to see that I’m pleased. You just go in and come and then roll over and go to sleep. Are you not aware what it’s like when a woman has an orgasm? I mean, the difference between the times I do orgasm and when I don’t should be very obvious to you.”
The King sits with confusion on his face as he shakes his head in wonder, “I had no idea, Y/n. You are saying you don’t orgasm every time we are together?”
Y/n can’t believe how dumb the King sounds at this moment, “No. Not even close. It’s okay, though. Honestly. Our marriage is much more than just sex. I figured you realized all this. When I just lie there and barely make a peep, that doesn’t give you a hint?” Y/n kept a small smile on her face as she covered the back of the King’s hand with her palm, a gesture of kindness as she felt bad for the man.
The King has learned something new today. He’s rather perturbed by this. All of his years a bachelor and all the women he’s slept with should have given him an upper hand in this arena. “Perhaps you are just more difficult to please then, Y/n. I’ve never had trouble before.”
The Queen removes her hand from the King’s, putting her fork down and drinking her water. Now she’s pissed at him. Now she won’t be gentle or reassuring toward his manhood. What kind of comment is that?
“And I’ll tell you that I’ve never had trouble before marrying you. Perhaps you’re not as good as you think you are.” She cocks her head to the side and keeps her eyes on the King.
The King looks around the balcony and over his shoulder then back to the Queen, “I’ll be outside of the quarters waiting for you after your session.”
With that, he gets up and leaves the Queen in peace. This has dampened her mood considerably. Now she can’t take her time with the Prince and enjoy his body like she had last night. The King, in his delusion, has decided he’s going to take care of her, when he’s never been able to truly take care of her before. What an idiot.
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At 5pm both Harry and Y/n are escorted to their quarters by the same guard as the night before. Edgar is no where to be seen.
When Harry and Y/n have entered the room Harry is immediately grasping the Queen by her neck and pulling her in to him, his lips on hers in a heated and needy kiss. The Queen breathes in heavy through her nose as Harry cradles her head and licks at her lips. Her arms slide up over his shoulders and she opens her mouth for him.
But, before the Queen can get too carried away, she needs to tell Harry about the King’s plans. She moves her hands down over his chest and pushes at him with a giggle, “Harry, wait…” she speaks breathlessly, bending back a bit, away from Harry’s lips as he continues to bend forward toward her.
Harry breaths and his chest is rising and falling in his excitement. He looks at her with worry on his face.
“Edgar said he’ll be waiting for me after our session with the guard. So we have to be quick and quiet I think.” Y/n bites her lip and takes in the prince. He’s so handsome and she just wants to tear his clothes off.
Harry pauses and blinks, “Oh. That’s disappointing. But don’t worry. We can make it quick if we need my Queen.” Harry dips down and begins kiss at her cheek and then lowers his lips to her jaw, “I still want you to come on my cock. Love how you feel around me.” He speaks quietly into her ear as he slowly moves her to the bed, his lips over her neck.
Y/n quickly begins to undress herself and Harry stands upright to unbutton the cuffs of his sleeves as he watches his Queen open her dress and reveal herself to him. He has been imagining touching her and smelling her all day long. Even if they have to be quick this time he will not waste the moment by worrying about her husband. He’s going to make every second count.
Soon, all their clothes are off and in a pile at the foot of the bed. Harry is quick to get the queen onto the bed and he climbs atop, spreading her thigh and immediately places two fingers at her clit and watches her face, “Gonna get your nice and wet first, okay? No matter what, I want you feeling good. I’ve been thinking of this all day and even if we don’t have all the time we want, I don’t want it spoiled.”
The pads of his fingers draw over her slowly as he takes his other hand and bends her left knee upward, pushing her thigh toward her chest. He smooths his hand under her thigh and the Queen places her palms over her breasts as she watches the tattooed man above her. Her soft breaths and the bucking of her hips give Harry the signals that he’s doing something right.
“Little pussy is begging for my cock isn’t she?” He speaks as he watches her pussy begin to glisten with her arousal. She slowly starts to become wetter with his fingers on her.
Y/n nods at the prince, “Yes, my pussy needs to be taken care of, Harry. You’re the only one who knows how.”
Harry darts his gaze from her cunt up to the Queen’s rounded eyes when she says this. He groans at her words and licks his lips. He can’t help himself when he lowers his mouth to her pussy and licks over her for a few minutes. Y/n immediately finds her fingers in his hair when his face settles over her mound.
When she moans too loudly Harry lifts his head and then slides two fingers inside of his Queen to feel her, “Shh shh shh…” he laughs lightly, “mustn’t be too loud. You ready for my cock? Wish I could take my time but seems we need to move this along a bit.”
The Queen smiles and nods, “Ready.” She bites her lip as Harry moves her into position how he wants her. Grabbing her right thigh, he places her leg over his shoulder as he keeps her other leg bent at the knee and hovers over her. He’s so hard it hurts and he knows he won’t last long, given how excited he was last night and all of today.
He watches her face as he begins to inch his way forward and when the Queen lets out a particularly high-pitched gasp Harry shakes his head and places his palm over her mouth, “Need to be quiet. I know it feels good. I know you’ve been neglected, Y/n. But if the King hears you sing out in pleasure, he’ll make it so we can’t do this anymore. You don’t want that do you?” He speaks as he continues pressing deep into her body.
The Queen shakes her head and sighs into Harry’s palm. His cock feels so good parting her walls and moving through her the way it does. She stretches so perfectly around him and he’s got her so wet already.
Harry breathes heavy as he begins to move into her, backing out and then pressing in deep, until he’s bottomed out, “Fucking balls deep, Y/n. God that feels good. No pussy like this one. I swear.” His words come out shaky and strained as he brings a hand down to gently put pressure on her clit, rubbing her slickness all over her sensitive bud.
Y/n gasps into Harry’s palm when he touches her clitoris. It’s so sensational, the feel of him over her. His cock is not like any other. She wants to talk to him but she also can’t control her moans and whimpers when Harry begins to fuck into her a little faster, a little harder. He’s talking a little extra dirty today and she loves it. And Harry was so on edge all day thinking about this moment that he’s unleashing his nastiest and most honest thoughts to her in dark whispers as he spreads her open with each thrust.
“You like this, don’t you? My cock making you feel good, Queen? Cause your pussy is all I could dream about last night. Your whines, how wet you are for me. Fuck…”
The Queen is thankful for Harry’s hand over her mouth because she is being just as loud as she was yesterday. She knows she can be quiet, it’s not hard when the King is fucking her. But with Harry? She’s having a difficult time controlling her volume.
But the sound of Harry fucking the Queen is loud through the room. Pat-pat-pat of their skin smacking together when his heavy balls make contact with her ass, the wet and slippery arousal allowing his solid and fat cock to slide in and out.
“Not gonna stop til you’re creaming all over my cock like you did yesterday. Want your come on me so I know I pleased you my Queen. Come for me, beautiful Queen.”
Y/n’s eyes rolled to the back of her head at his words and his cadence was hard enough that she was being pushed up toward the headboard at each smack. He never lifted his fingers from her clit, though, and that was exactly what she needed. To be fucked hard by Harry’s long cock and getting her clit sloppily rubbed over at the same time.
She moaned into his hand, moisture building between his palm and her lips as she kept a steady stream of heavy breaths and whimpers falling from her lungs. Her orgasm was already on its way, thanks to Harry’s dirty words and his fingers over her clit.
She grabbed onto his shoulders as he rolled his hips into her. He was going to burst into her. He was so horny, even before they’d begun. He couldn’t stop thinking of her. He had hoped that they could take their time but he wouldn’t complain about this at all. He was just happy to be in her presence and inside of her.
He groaned into the room as quietly as he was able to when he felt himself start to tip.
“Like being stuffed full of my cock, don’t you? Yeah? Gonna fill you with my sperm and give you my babies as soon as you come on my cock. Gonna make you a mommy soon.” He felt his vision blur when his orgasm started to unleash before he intended. He groaned and trembled, trying to hold himself back.
The Queen could feel his cock twitch inside of her and with his last phrase about being a mommy she could no longer think straight. Her orgasm wiped through her system, and she cried out in big gasps and whimpers, calling Harry’s name into his palm. He grunted when he felt her clench around him, his balls finally releasing his sperm up through his cock and into his Queen’s soft and fertile pussy.
They writhed together as their orgasms lingered for a few moments longer, both out of breath with ringing ears. Harry removed his palm and dragged the hand he held over her mouth over her cheek and pushed his fingers into her hair. He leaned down and kissed her lips, they were both still exasperated by their orgasms, heavy breaths and wildly beating hearts.
“Harry…” the Queen breathed out as quietly as she could in between his kisses, “… I need that all the time. You’re so good.”
Harry lapped into her mouth and moaned at her words, “Mmm…” he tried speaking to her, his words being pressed into her lips, “Fucking need it too, Y/n. Fuck.”
When they both stopped quivering and Harry sat up, he gently smoothed his hands over the Queen’s breasts and then down over her tummy, “I wish we had more time. Can I…” he sighed as he considered his next words, “… give you my number? Maybe you can text me or something. I know we can’t really… I just… I don’t know. Stupid idea.” He laughed and the Queen pushed herself up with her palms and then quickly wrapped her hand around Harry’s forearm.
“It’s not stupid. Not at all. I’d love to be in contact outside of just these sessions. But we must be careful.” She moved her hand to hold his and sat up further, reaching her other hand up to his neck to pull him down for another kiss.
They didn’t know what they were doing really. This was all a big mistake. They were beginning to feel very familiar and comfortable with another very quickly and Y/n was desperate for his touch and to have his eyes on her.
Their lips together made sense and Harry pulled her into his lap to feel her close. Their centers were both still wet and Y/n could use another orgasm but they had to leave the room soon, before the king wondered what was taking so long.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.” Harry looked at his Queen as she climbed off his lap and quickly picked up her robe.
She smiled at the prince and looked over his handsome and strong body as he stood from the bed, picking his own clothes up.
“I think you’re beautiful too, Harry. Maybe…” she bit her lip and tied the dressing robe tight around her center as she watched him pull his briefs up, “maybe we can see one another a little later. Perhaps I could come over? If you want, of course. I just feel like this wasn’t enough.”
Harry pauses and with a big grin across his face he nods and takes her in his arms, “You want to see me? Later?” He smiled at her in surprise.
The Queen put her hands over his hips, he was only wearing his underwear, “Yes. I know it’s inappropriate. But since Gertrude is gone this week and… well, we couldn’t really take our time. It’s just that I’d been imaging this all day and then Edgar ruined it.”
Harry nodded and pressed his lips to Y/n’s, “Yes. Please.” His warm lips encased hers and they stood in the center of the room with their lips attached when there was a sudden knock at the door.
They both jumped away from one another with wide eyes and could hear the muffled sound of someone speaking through the door. It was difficult to hear what was being said but they knew it was the king. For whom else would be allowed to disturb them during their session?
Harry rushed to pull his trousers up and fix his shirt and hair. Y/n smoothed her own hair out and slipped her shoes on.
When Harry had fixed himself the best he could he quickly drew the Queen back into his arms and kissed her, “Text me and we’ll make a plan.” He kept his eyes on hers for a moment before rushing to the door and opening it to see his brother-in-law, the king standing outside.
Harry greeted Edgar and turned back once more to see his Queen standing in the room with a frown on her face as she looked to her husband.
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The king’s antics were clear to Y/n as soon as he’d gotten her back to their bedchambers. When she asked why he was at the door and knocking during their session, when it was explicitly laid out that no one other than the guard was to be at the door for any reason, his response had her angry with him.
“Because you’d been in there for a bit longer than I thought was necessary. He shouldn’t need to stay in there while you’re getting dressed. What business did he have to still be in there while you were putting your robe on?”
She and Edgar went back and forth a bit in argument but then the King told her to remove her robe and that it was time for him to please her.
“Edgar, really. I am not in the mood now. Can’t this wait? I’ve had to put up with this ordeal and now you need me to give more of myself? I’m tired.” Y/n did not sit on the bed as the King had asked her. Nor did she remove her robe.
“The prince has had you today and yesterday. I would like to have you now. Because you’re my wife. Or did you forget this?”
The Queen let out a trite laugh, hoping the King understood her snark, “I wouldn’t forget, Edgar. How could I? And I’d like to be left alone after those sessions. It’s draining having to do what I’m doing. You’re not in there so you don’t know. You’ll need to be more understanding with me during this time. The week will be up soon and we can go back to our normal routine. But this…” she waved her arms around her, “is not what I want right now. I’d like to relax and bathe perhaps. Maybe read a book to get my mind off this whole ordeal.”
“My Queen, if it’s that bad, I should stand in next time. So I can understand what you’re being put through. Tomorrow, I’ll go with you.”
The Queen’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head at his words and she crossed the room to her husband, “You will not! That is even more unacceptable than it is to stand outside of the room in wait for us. For both Harry and I, we are the ones having to do this. Why would I want to subject myself to further humiliation. You’ve lost your fucking mind, Edgar!”
The Queen walked past her husband and to the bathroom and was blocked from the closing the door when his hand stopped it.
“I think you have forgotten who the ruler of this land is, my dear. I can do what I please. If I want to stand in and watch the spectacle I will. If I want to stand at the door and time your interactions with Gertrude’s husband, I will. If I want to have sex with my wife after she’s had her session, by god I will!” His face was growing red as he spoke.
Y/n had never heard Edgar speak to her this way, though she’d never spoken to him the way she just did either, but she felt it was deserved. Their marriage had been relatively mundane up until this issue with his fertility came about.
“Listen, I need you to understand that my privacy is worth more to me than anything. Anything, Edgar. I am disappointed that you feel the need to undermine that and to disregard what I would like. I have done nothing wrong. My intentions are to get pregnant and then this will all be over with. If you are fiddling around with the rules and making things harder for us, well, I just think you’re going to make an already awful experience even worse and I will grow bitter and resentful toward you and surely Harry will too. I know he’ll go back to Gertrude telling her how awful you are if you insist on sitting in. It’s not an option if you want to be a sovereign king, Edgar.”
Edgar narrowed his eyes and grabbed at Y/n’s robe, pulling it open. The Queen gasped as she dealt with Edgar’s aggressive behavior. When he dragged the material off of her body he searched her flesh and pushed her to turn around.
“Fucks sake, Edgar! What are you doing?” She turned to look at the king.
“I’m making sure there are no marks, bruises, anything that could indicate Harry has been rough with you or has done more than he’s allowed.”
The Queen was coming to understand that Edgar wasn’t as calm about all this as he played it off previously. He seemed to not worry or care one bit, but this was something. He did care and it seemed he was even a little jealous perhaps.
“Please, Edgar. This is already humiliating enough. Now I’m subjected to my own husband treating me like a whore? Why are you doing this to me?”
Edgar’s hand ran over the Queen’s back and down toward her bottom, “Because you’re my wife. You belong to me. Not to Harry. I would think you would quickly obey and not question my judgement or authority. You’ve always been so good before this. It just makes me wonder.”
With her heart pounding in her chest and a lump in her throat the Queen spoke in a shaky breath, “I’ve never had the need to disobey or to question you, my King. But you are treating me like a harlot and I’ve been nothing but a good wife and helper to you. I won’t just allow you to disrespect me like this. You’ve never seen it because there’s never been a need. Until this moment.”
The king removed his hand from her skin, leaving the bathroom and then stormed out of the room with the heavy door slamming behind him. He was feeling himself lose control and he didn’t like that his wife was being fucked by another man who would get her pregnant when he couldn’t. He felt like a failure and his insecurities were beginning to be made evident. He feigned confidence but the reality was that he was feeling like less than a man for the first time in his life and he didn’t know how to deal with it.
Y/n was relieved that he’d left. She didn’t care that he was upset, she didn’t like him treating her the way he had. It was the first time he’d ever done something like that to her and she was angry and hurt. She made no move to leave the bathroom right away as she stood with her palms on the sink counter and looked at the mirror. Her robe was still on the floor at her feet where the king had pulled it off her. She was confused and shocked as well.
She knew what she and Harry were doing was crossing the line. They were starting to get very warm with one another and they both really enjoyed sex together. So was she allowed to feel hurt by her husband who seemed to be jealous when she had in fact done something wrong? She’d been given an orgasm less than an hour ago by a man who was not her husband. And maybe that was wrong, but at the same time, this whole circumstance wasn’t necessarily her fault. But she felt conflicted nonetheless.
After a shower and much consideration about her circumstance she decided to text Harry. The more she thought about what the king had done the angrier she grew. The king could have told the court and the Kingdom of Manon the truth. That they were unable to have a child and then Harry and Gertrude’s children would have been up for the crown next and the people would have been satisfied with this. She knows it. But the king, in his self-righteous and egotistical manner, insisted that the kingdom not find out about him being infertile. If he’d just swallowed his pride, none of this would be happening. Y/n would be fine to go on with her husband as they were. Her life was filled with interesting people and organized volunteer outings, consequential decision making in conjunction with the king, new hobbies, travel, and the like. Being the Queen had been a full-time job that she adored and while Edgar was not the star in bed that he'd made himself out to be, she would have been fine. Disappointed in their night routine but fine.
But now… well, the king wouldn’t settle for having anyone know of his shortcomings and it caused their current issue. This was his fault. The feelings and interest she developed toward Harry would have never begun if they’d never had sex in the first place. It was bound to happen if they became intimate. Maybe if it were another man in place of Harry Y/n wouldn’t be feeling the way she does but, the man she suddenly desires is Harry and it’s because of the ego of the king. He pushed them into this situation.
To Prince Harry: I will arrive at your home in thirty minutes if you’ll still have me.
The Queen put a dark grey cashmere tracksuit on. The soft sweater had a hood, which would be perfect for her going about without too many noticing her. When she’d put on her incognito outfit she looked at her phone and saw a response from Harry.
From Prince Harry: I will leave the door unlocked. Just come in when you arrive.
Leaving her guard behind wasn’t difficult. He didn’t need to go everywhere she went. Manon was a safe and stable kingdom and there had never been a threat to the Queen before. She had no enemies. She left the grounds quietly and with no one the wiser, except for the entrance guards. She told them she needed to clear her mind with an evening stroll and she’d be back in a few hours.
Harry and Gertrude lived only a fifteen-minute walk away. Their beautiful home was fit for a Prince and Princess. It was large and would be considered a mansion by any standards. The front lawn was manicured with trees and shrubs and a lattice went up the front of the façade with vines winding around the slats.
When she got to the front door, she went inside as instructed and shut the door behind her. She could hear Harry descending the stairs until suddenly he was in view before her as he made his way down the last few steps.
Without any words exchanged, Harry rushed to where Y/n stood near the front door and took her face into his hands and pressed his lips to hers in greeting.
Y/n wanted to tell Harry of all the things the king had said and done right away but she could tell that would all need to wait with the way Harry had her body pushed into the wall next to the door, how his hands smoothed around to the back of her neck holding her close to him as his lips enveloped hers in a crushing kiss.
Yes, talk could wait. For there was a more immediate need upon the new lovers.
Chapter 5*
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chaosduckies · 2 months
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Restoration (Chapter 3)
I have no idea how I keep making the chapters even longer. I just somehow do. But, enjoy!
Word Count: 4,600
CW: Fear, mentions of death, panic attacks, reference to someone as an “it”, overthinking, slight trigger warnings
3-Nathan 
When my mom finally came home from work yesterday, I was expecting her to get her plate of dinner and sit down on the couch putting on The Golden Girls like she usually does. What I wasn’t expecting was that she’d be getting a call from my teacher Mrs. Kay. The worst part about it was that they acted like they were such friends. Joking around and laughing. Had they even met each other? Most likely if my mom had kept it a secret that Mrs. Kay actually knew what happened to us in the past. Was mom the one who put me in that horrid class? No, she wouldn’t do anything against my will. Not unless she knew I would be ready for it. 
They had talked on the phone for what seemed like hours. I was guessing Mrs. Kay was asking questions about me since my mom had mentioned me multiple times in their conversation, but I was raised not to ever eavesdrop. As I would be punished accordingly. But I wasn’t in that hell hole anymore. And I guess my fear was still pretty bad if I still thought I would be tortured for listening in on a conversation. What made anyone think I could even go to school with giants? 
When I had woken up the next morning, it was to the sweet smell of my moms famous pancakes. The one dad always loved before we were kidnapped. I cringed at the thought, but forced myself out of bed and ready for the day, putting on a light purple shirt with a button up, blue sweater my mom bought me last month, and black jeans. I never wear anything that shows my arms. For good reason too. 
I rushed down to the kitchen, where my mom had already place my plate on the very right edge of the kitchen island, giving a happy smile to me, “Morning, Sweetie.” 
“What the occasion mom?” I laughed, taking my seat and staring down the pancake on my plate. She had always made them the best. Incomparable to even IHop’s pancakes. 
“Oh well, I’m sure you can guess why. Last night I was told you were doing a little project with someone. As far as I knew you hadn’t made any friends, so I was getting worried, but now I know you were just embarrassed to tell me.” She giggled. What? Was she talking about Ryker. Oh no. No. Nononono. Not in a million years would I ever trust a giant ever again. Not after what they put my mom and I through. 
“N-No! We’re not f-f-friends.” I stuttered, suddenly feeling bad for saying it out loud. Why? I was only speaking the truth. But that didn’t leave a very satisfying taste in my mouth once the words rolled of my tongue. 
“Nate, your teacher told me some interesting things about that boy. Ryder was it? He really does sound like a nice guy. Maybe give him a chance? I know it’s hard for you honey.” She hugged me, her grip loose and weak, and planted a kiss on my forehead, giving a sad smile before digging into her breakfast. Now even my mom was saying that he was really nice. How was I supposed to believe that? For all I know all of those acts could have been acting. The little incident at lunch, him trying to talk to me, what if he was just trying to gain my trust to eventually backstab me? Just the thought was making my hands sake as I reached for my fork. I’d only have to hope that today doesn’t go wrong. 
Mrs. Kay had told Ryker and I before we left to meet in her room, or more specifically the little office that was in her classroom. It was right by the many newsletters and papers that hung on to the wall presenting various fights and political issues in the city. I try not to pay attention, but we all knew that there was a growing number of riots all around from bother giants and humans. 
I headed into her room, seeing that her room was crowded with what seemed like hundred of other students trying to find their partner. I was almost stepped on a few times had I not been practically running to get to the mini office in the back of the classroom. I guess that was just pure luck. Now I just have to hope that that luck pays off in here. 
Inside, there was a teacher desk where currently my teacher was sitting at, looking at something on her computer. I turned my gaze somewhere else, seeing that there were two student desks, both with the same elevators for a human to get on top of one. Ryker was sitting at the one on the far right. There were piles of paper on the floor that looked like it needed to be read through and put in order and graded, and some magazines with a picture of one of the people from the riots on the front cover. 
A quick glance back to the crowded room, and I was now face first with the elevator I was guessing I was supposed to take. Mrs. Kay nor Ryker even knew I was here, so if I wanted to back out and hide in the bathroom, now would be the time. Let’s see, if I did decide to hide in restrooms, someone is bound to find me and take me to the principal, but at least I wouldn’t be taken around everywhere like some pet, but my mom would hear about it and she would be mad at me. If I didn’t hide, Ryker would most likely try to keep talking to me and eventually forget I was even there. Maybe. If he doesn’t forget I’m there, he might want to mess around with my like I’m some kind of toy or plaything. 
Both options were equally as bad. A tough decision to make, but I don’t exactly want my mother to have gone through all of this trouble for me to have a “normal” life, just for me to quit not even a quarter of the way through. That was cruel. But on the other hand, it would be even more cruel to be subdued to that same torture for who knows how long again. Forget it. Everyone’s going through all of this just for me, so I’ll make sure it’s not in vain. Maybe. If I can get through this. 
I walked into the elevator, hand hovering over the same dreadful button I see everyday. I suck in a deep breath, pressing the buttons before changing my mind, and instantly regretting every single one of my choices. Wouldn’t I just be bothering these people? Ryker wouldn’t be bothered by me? As far as I know he’s already frustrated with me not even talking to him, and now I have to stick with him the entire school day in order for me to make it out alive. Maybe even literally. 
Unconsciously, I pressed my back up against the back elevator wall, sliding down and holding my head between my knees. Everything felt dizzy, and it wasn’t because of my fear of heights. Was I having a panic attack? No, I would be breathing harder and I wouldn’t be able to think. It was just a little breakdown. In front of my teacher and potential kidnapper. Great introduction for the first day, Nathan. I hissed in my head, trying to stand back up, using the railing to hold myself up on shaky legs. There were a pair of eyes on me, and oddly enough it didn’t feel like a stab right to my back. No time to think about that when I was struggling to just keep my balance. 
After struggling to regain my balance, I looked out where the elevator gate was open, revealing a huge black box I’m pretty sure was Ryker’s phone, his hand grabbing it and stuffing it in his pocket. I let out a quiet squeak as his hand moved fast, making me instinctively move back, and once again my back was pressed up against the wall. I made the wrong decision. 
My heart was beating fast, and my thoughts were all jumbled up. Any chance of thinking clearly was gone, and now I was trapped inside the elevator unless they wanted to force me out. How can I become friends with someone who was much, much bigger than I was? Would he even want to? Or was he like those sadistic jerks that just want to mess around and act like we were just toys? 
There were muffled voices outside, but I wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying, more worried about how I would get out of here. I had calmed down enough to somewhat get thoughts through. If I make a run for it they could easily stop me. If I don't’ run they’ll force me out and punish me for not listening. Wait no- It’s a school why would they hurt a student? Were they even allowed to? Oh wait that’s off topic- 
“Hey, um, Nathan? Are you okay?” It was Ryker’s voice. Just as soft as I remember. Too bad I was not in any condition to answer. I most definitely was not okay. Not in the least, and yet I still somehow found myself in this situation. If anything, him knowing I was there only made my heart race faster and my trembling even more severe. 
The room stayed silent for a while as I calmed myself down. The first bell rang, signaling that there were five minutes until first period started, and I immediacy felt regret. I was going to make him late because I couldn’t even make it past this stupid elevator. Great. Even more guilt. But even more of a reason for me to get out. I was calmed down enough, and surprisingly I didn’t have a complete panic attack. Now the only thing I have to get past was how he would be carrying me. 
Taking one step at a time, I made my way to right in front of Ryker, occasionally tripping over my own feet and catching my balance at the last second, but I made it. I never lifted up my head, scared that I would lose any and all confidence that remained in me if we hade made eye contact. Especially when I had the feeling he would know that I was really, really terrified for my life. 
“Ryker? You can handle the rest?” I hear Mrs. Kays ecstatic voice, typing away at her computer. I jumped seeing him move his hand slightly towards me, shutting my eyes tightly and expecting for him to grab me like I used to be, or even dangled in the slightest, but it never came. To my complete and utter shock, he laid his hand palm up on the very edge of the desk, waiting for me to approach. I gulped. I had never done this before. 
I had always been grabbed or dangled around, never given the option of being held. It was either in a tight fist that usually resulted in a few broken ribs, or casually being used as a toy for kids. I shuddered at the memory. 
Still, this was a surprise. I wasn’t expecting this, and now I felt insecure about how to get on. Do I just jump? Walk? Run? I mean the guy from yesterday had just dragged me on, so this is technically my first time. He just jumped right on. Could I do the same? But Ryker knows Lucky. He doesn’t know me. Maybe only people who Ryker knows are allowed to do that. 
Curse my overthinking. 
I waited for Ryker to get impatient with me, but it never happened. His hand stayed still, never once reaching for me in anticipation. Maybe a minute had gone by. Th longest minute of my life, but that’s when he eventually gave a sympathetic look towards me, “Have you done this before?” Not willingly, no. 
I shook my head almost immediately with no hesitation, feeling terrible for making him wait this long. I dug my head in my hands, feeling all the extra wight of guilt on my shoulders. I’m ruining everything. 
“No it’s… it’s fine. Just whatever makes you comfortable.” He told me, a hint of sadness in his tone. What would he sad about?
I took shaky steps to the edge, seeing how I should do this and eventually just walking on. I mean, it worked out, but I fell face first into the fleshy surface. Somehow this wasn’t the first time that I’ve face planted into Ryker’s palm. He let out a chuckle, “You okay?” 
How do I even begin to answer? Words were not enough to express the amount of fear that was building up inside me. Not even enough to describe red my face turned from embarrassment. This was the worst feeling ever, but I still managed a weak nod before settling in the center of his hand, trying to stay away from all possible ways to fall down to my imminent death. Not something I would like to enjoy. 
He slowly stood up, grabbed his backpack and headed down the hall to his next class that really wasn’t even that far from this one. At least it wasn’t far for him. 
There were tons of students in this class, making me feel insecure and tiny. I wasn’t used to being around this many giants. Especially ones that seemed to notice me and give out looks. But they weren’t directed to me. All directed to Ryker, who just sighed and headed to his seat like he didn’t have a care in the world how others looked at him like he was some wild animal. How does he do that? 
I was expecting him to just throw me onto the desk, but he let his palm down, letting me get off safely without spraining an ankle or getting the wind knocked out of me. I would have thanked him had I not been terrified. I stood awkwardly on his desk, my thoughts a jumbled up mess. What do I do? I mean of course I have my own work to do on the computers we were given, but I was talking about what do I do now that I was on the desk. 
Ryker was pulling out a journal and a book from his backpack and placed them near me, but not so close that I jumped in fear of him dropping that onto me. He glanced in my direction, flashed a smile and dug out whatever else he needed for this class. I looked down, noticing that I was pretty much smack in the middle of his desk. I was in his way. 
Before my knees gave out on me, I hurried to the edge of the desk, and forced myself not to look down at the impossible height I was at. I felt stares, but most weren’t directed at me. I groaned to myself, hating the fact that I was being watched. They were just curious, but I’d rather not have to worry about someone constantly having me under their eye. It didn’t feel right. 
The final bell rang, and that’s when class had started. 
I didn’t even realize how shaky I was until Ryker lightly tapped on the desk in front of me, making me flinch and avert my attention to him. He flashed a sad smile, giving a thumb up as if asking if I was okay. I most definitely was not, but I forced myself to give a shaky nod and pulled out my computer. 
Every so often I would jump or react when he had moved to grab something near me or was just flipping a page. I was doing a pretty good job since I haven’t ran off yet. Not that I could without having twenty pairs of eyes on me. Otherwise, everything was going great. 
In all honesty, it really wasn’t too bad if I just did the same things over and over again. Ryker took me to his classes, I had somehow never failed to fall face first the second I took a step onto his palm, resulting in him asking if I was okay. During his classes, I moved out of his way before he ended up getting annoyed with me, which I was expecting but never came. Odd. But there was no way I was going to test his patience. It could all go downhill from there. 
For lunch, I just sat with at the table Ryker usually sits at, trying to make it easier on him. Both of us never ate lunch apparently. He sat on his phone, while I just finished up some notes from my physics class. He didn’t try to make a conversation with me, only the occasional yes or no questions. If I was okay. Did I want to move. Those sorts of things. 
What didn’t sit right with me was how he flashed me sad looks every time I moved away from him or when I jumped. It’s like he felt bad for making me feel scared. Why? It was so weird to see how he cared so much about how I felt when I cared so much about how he felt towards me. Wasn’t he annoyed with having to take care of me? I would be if I had to constantly carry about something that didn’t even look grateful for the help. 
The rest of the day was easy. He had his seventh period off, taking us to the library along with four other people who were currently playing Uno. He let me on the ground where there was an entrance to the human side of the library, telling me that I was probably tired of being around him all day and I could have some time alone if I wanted to. 
So now here I was in a quiet library where two teachers were talking about something and I just sat here trying to stay calm. Only forty more minutes and I was free. Eight more school days and I wouldn’t have to do this ever again hopefully. Good. I could barely keep up with one day, let alone the rest of the school year? Nope. I do not want that on my to-do list. 
It was three minutes before the bell rang, and I decided not to keep Ryker waiting like this morning. It was rude, and I really didn’t want him to be late because I couldn’t even get on his hand without going under a breakdown. I’m just lucky he hasn’t even mentioned anything about this morning. 
I walked back into the library, seeing that the people who were playing Uno already left for class while Ryker was sitting down on the couch reading that same book he took out this morning. He didn’t seem bothered at all. Well, that might change after carrying me around for two weeks. 
I looked around, trying to find a way to get on the table or really anything to stand up on for him to see me, but there was nothing. There were no elevators in this library. Heck. What do I do now though? The bell’s going to ring soon and Ryker doesn’t even realize. Of course everything has to go downhill right when it’s almost the end of the day. Life hates me. 
  Yelling was under no circumstance an option. Getting closer to him wasn’t either. I’d just have to hope he realizes soon enough. And luckily, he closes his book and looks towards the door that leads to the human side and sees me. Good. I was not about to yell for him to notice me. Not at all. 
He shoved the book in his backpack before standing up and walking slowly towards me, but I couldn’t stop the quiet squeak that escaped my mouth. He was tall. Really, really tall. Even for a giant. How did I not realize this sooner? My breath hitched in my throat as I looked down to the ground. Seeing him sitting at a desk was one thing, but him standing up to his full height while I was on the ground? Not something I wanted to see. 
He must have caught on because he crouched down, holding a hand out. Either that or he just wanted to get going. I hurried on, hoping he wouldn’t catch that I was trembling extremely violently. 
“Sorry. Were you waiting long?” He asked me. I bit the side of my cheek, shaking my head. I lied. 
As soon as the last class of the day started, Mrs. Kay walked in looking cheery as always, “How’d everyone’s day go?” She had asked, earning a few answers from students. Apparently they all had a great time. It’s because they were already friends and used to this. 
“I’m glad you all enjoyed it. Today is a free day, so finish up whatever work you have in other classes or talk with your partner. Get to know one another.” 
The whole room was bustling with bright conversation while I still couldn’t even say one word to Ryker. A part of me really wanted to. I mean, I was being rude by not actually giving any effort at all to talk, but at the same time I feel like I would just be more annoying to him. 
Mrs. Kay came over to us, smiling and keeping her posture as she checked on students as she came down the isle. I winced, already knowing what might happen. She’s going to tell us to talk. Ryker has only asked me simple questions today, and I always either nodded my head or shook it. Meaning I haven’t spoken a single word to him for the week and half. Honestly, I was kind of jealous that others could laugh and joke around with their partners while I couldn’t so much as open my mouth to speak. Some great partner, huh?  
“How did today go you two?” 
I didn’t bother looking, too embarrassed to answer. Ryker was about to complain to her about everything that was wrong with me and there was nothing I could do about it. Because he isn’t wrong, even if I don’t know what he’ll say. I was weak, pathetic, scared, my bones were even more breakable than a normal humans because of how many times they’ve been broken in the past, I was a lot shorter than the average human, I wasn’t strong. You’re broken. That last thought hangs in the back of my mind and leaves a sour taste on my tongue. 
Who knew, maybe he would get an actual partner that could keep a conversation with him. Or to entertain him long enough. Just get me out of here already so I can- 
“It was good.” Was all Ryker answered with, and I could somehow hear the smile on his face. 
I didn’t know if this was some kind of trick or not, but if it is, then it’s awful. He has to be lying. There has to be something he can say other than “it’s good.” Seriously. I’m pretty sure Ryker grew tired of my at some point in time. 
“And how about you Nathan?” The question directed to me. 
What do I answer? “I didn’t die?” Or “All my limbs are intact.” Or my body answers for me instead, nodding shakily as I eye the elevator door. Maybe I could get out of here? No one would notice, and as long as Ryker wasn’t looking I could just slip away… No. There’s only about twenty minutes left of class. I can hopefully survive until then. 
“Have you two talked at all?” Mrs. Kay asked, a hint of anxiousness in her tone. It’s because she knows from my mom. That’s what my mom was talking to her about. How I reacted to being around giants. Great. Because I needed more people trying to figure out what was wrong with me. 
I didn’t bother knowing if Ryker nodded or shook his head. I hated my overthinking. So, so much. All terrible possible outcomes, and that’s all I can think about. That I’ll never live the life I used to live ever again. That no one will figure out whatever was wrong with me. That I’ll never be able to trust a person again. I miss the days when dad would just lie down with me on the cold, metal floor of our cage and keep telling me everything was alright when nothing was. 
Wait. 
Why was I talking about that? 
I wish my overthinking would just go away. 
“Hmm. Alright. I said these next two weeks would be fun, and I have the best idea for that.” She giggled, but I could hint that little bit of worry hidden in her words. This wasn’t going to end well for me. 
She walks up to the front of the room, “I really wasn’t planning on everyone getting along so well right away, but this is apparently a faster class, so, here’s a little fun I’ve thought of!” She started off, “I want you to go to to each other’s houses. Or, more specifically your bigger partner.” She joked, and a couple laughed along. 
But this wasn’t funny to me. Apparently not to Ryker either. We both stared wide-eyed at our teacher, probably both wondering the same thing. Why did she do this?
There really was no way out of this. I thought I would pass by these next eight days with just having to deal with school, but now I have to go to his house? What would his parents think of me? I’m literally bothering him afterschool and that’s probably his time to destress and not be bothered by anyone, which was the complete opposite of what I’d be doing. 
“Now, it can be anytime between now and next Friday. You are not required to stay over for the night, but I would like either one of your parents to sign off, proving that it happened. If there are any problems, please take it up with me after class.” 
She smiled, and sat down at her desk, probably making the slips we were now supposed to get signed by either one of our parents. But, as I looked back to Ryker, he didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look happy either. His hands were clenched into fists, he was biting the inside of his cheek, and I did not like how close his hands were to me. 
Soon enough, the class was filled with excited conversation again. I somehow worked up the courage to turn around, and Ryker was staring out the window, and then his eyes met mine, making me jump. Great turn of events. I wasn’t expecting that. 
“How do you feel about being in a house with five other people?” He awkwardly asked, worry encasing every word he said. I quickly shook my head. No. Five people? So him… his parents… does that mean he has two other siblings? Oh heck. No. No this cannot be happening. I can’t even handle one person let alone five? 
Ryker gave a sad smile, “Sorry litt-… Nathan. I’ll just tell her afterschool that you don’t feel comfortable with this. I’m not going to force you.” 
I had no idea what he was going to call me before, but I didn’t care. I was more shocked at how he willingly offered to tell Mrs. Kay for me that I couldn’t do this. Why?
Maybe he wasn’t that bad after all. 
—————————————
Wow. That’s long. But thank you for reading! I hope you’re all enjoying reading this just as much as I am writing it! I promise the next chapter will really explain a lot. For now, enjoy this last-minute drawing I did of Nathan.
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and-claudia · 11 months
Text
His Heir pt. 37 (Darth Maul x pregnant! reader)
Warnings: angst
Word count: 2200
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gif not mine (look at his lil pouty lip)
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I sighed as I looked over the agenda for the day. It felt like everything had picked up since the gender announcement. Both mine and Maul’s days were jammed packed with meetings, going over data, and answering members of Crimson Dawn. It was tiring. Luckily though, Maul was making me go once either my work was done or when my day was supposed to be over so I didn’t overwork myself. On one hand that is great because I don’t have to pick any extra work or do overtime, but it also meant that I spent most evenings alone and went to bed alone most nights. 
“You ready for our briefing?” Qi’ra asked. 
I sighed mentally preparing myself to get up. Maul had said the baby’s growth will slow down soon, but I swear he had actually gone through a growth spurt. I was currently 26 weeks but I wasn’t too sure how big he was measuring at, but luckily we would get to find out tomorrow before we leave for Dasar’s wedding. 
“Do you need a hand?” Qi’ra asked, slightly teasing. 
“No, not yet.” I said with a laugh before getting up. 
We walked into Maul’s office and took our seats in front of his desk.
“Have you both looked over your own agendas for the day?” Maul asked. 
“Yes.” We both said with a nod. 
“Good. Be sure to stick to them strictly. That means when having meetings you make sure all parties are aware of the time frame and do not go over the allotted time,” we nodded along as he spoke, “Lady Yn, my only note for you today is to not skip lunch.” He said with a stern look. 
“I won’t and for the record, I didn’t do that yesterday. I ate while I worked.” I explained. 
“Not today. Give yourself the break. Understood?” 
“Yes, sir.” 
“As for Lady Qi’ra…” 
His tone had me worried as I glanced over at her. 
“Dryden Vos. What can you tell me about his death?” Maul asked, sitting up a little bit straighter and crossing his arms over his chest as he gave her a pointed look. 
“What do you mean, Lord Maul?” 
I could tell she was scared. 
“Well, you were the only one currently working here that was present at the time of his death… you must know something. Right?” 
I watched Qi’ra as she took a deep breath, “His ship was attacked. He was killed by the attackers, along with almost everyone on board.” 
“And yet you managed to escape?” Maul asked, raising an eyebrow ridge. 
“Luckily, yes.” 
“Hm.” Maul said as he contemplated what she had just said, “Lady Qi’ra now that this is the story you’ve told me, it better be the one you stick to. Though if I find out you're discussing the matter again you won’t get the chance to speak of it ever again. Have I made myself clear?” 
“Yes, sir.” She said, voice shaking. 
“Oh and, I don’t want to hear of this Han Solo ever again.” Maul added. 
She nodded. 
“You’re dismissed, Lady Qi’ra. Lady Yn please stay for a moment.” Maul said. 
Qi’ra nodded and quickly stood and left the room. 
“Sorry I wasn’t there this morning, I wanted to get here early enough to get a head start on work.”
“It’s okay.” I brushed it off. 
“I’ll be home for dinner tonight though.” 
“I look forward to it.” I smiled, causing him to do the same, even just briefly before his com went off. 
“Meetings.” He said apologetically. 
“Don’t worry. I will see you later, love you.”
“I love you too, my dear.” 
I got up and left his office to go back to mine and Qi’ra’s office. For the time being, I had it to myself since Qi’ra had left for a meeting as well. 
One of the perks of being busy at work meant that time flew. So, right now I was collecting my things and getting ready to leave. I was going to ask if Qi’ra knew if Maul was in a meeting or not, but ever since this morning she’d been very quiet. 
When I made it to our quarters the first thing I did was change. Business wear was not baby bump friendly in terms of being comfortable to wear all day. After I changed I decided to spend some time reading while I waited for Maul to return. I went over to the large bookcase he had in the living area and began reading the titles on the spine. I absolutely loved that he still had real books. My eyes landed on one towards the end that piqued my interest. 
“Stories of the Nightbrothers and Nightsisters. How does that one sound, kih ik'aad? (little baby)” I asked as I grabbed it. 
I had recently taken up calling him that without really realizing it, but it seemed to be sticking for the time being. At least for me. 
I took the book over to the couch and got comfortable as I began reading one of the stories out loud to the baby. I finished that one and began a second, and then a third. Before I knew it, I had been reading for nearly an hour and a half… Maul should be home soon. After some thought, I decided to mark the page I had left off on by folding the top corner down before closing the book and setting it on the side table. Then I grabbed my datapad and began messaging the kitchens to bring us dinner. It would take at least half an hour for the food to get here so I had plenty of time to get the table set. In the meantime, I decided to double-check the plan for tomorrow. 
I had the housekeeping droids pack my luggage for me for the trip to Dasar’s wedding. Maul and I were set to leave tomorrow at 3:00 pm. We were going to leave at 10:00 am but a last-minute meeting forced us to push it back some. Once I was done checking, I set the table and waited for Maul. 
He should be here by now. 
I got a message from the kitchens telling me the food was being brought up. 
Any minute now. I messaged Maul telling him dinner would be here soon. Nothing. 
Foods here. 
I ended up waiting as long as I could before going ahead and eating. Alone. I took my time eating, hoping Maul would show up to join me. No such luck. Once I was finished I decided to shower, but before leaving the dining room I made sure Maul’s food was covered and placed in the warming drawer so in case he showed up while I was in the shower, he could eat. 
I stayed in the shower as long as I could, once again hoping that when I got out, got my soft robe wrapped around me, and walked out I would find him waiting for me. He wasn’t. I checked my datapad for any messages from him. Once again nothing. 
My last attempt to see him before I went to bed was staying up watching a holo. I made it halfway through before I could barely keep my eyes open. I had to get to bed. I sent Maul a message telling him that his dinner was in the kitchen, I was going to bed, and reminding him about my appointment tomorrow at 8. He didn’t have any meetings at that time for a reason. 
It took me a while to fall asleep but even then, I never heard Maul come home. 
The next morning I was woken up by Maul pressing a kiss to my forehead before he left. I didn’t have anything planned for today since we were supposed to leave earlier. So I laid in bed for another few minutes before finally getting up. Before I got ready I sent Maul a message asking him if he’d rather meet at the medical unit or come by here and walk with me there. I set down my datapad as I got ready. Once I was I grabbed it and saw no messages from Maul… he hadn’t even read the message. 
I sighed as I slipped my shoes on. He had never missed one yet. And sure I could reschedule it, but this was my last check-up before our trip. So I had to get it done now. 
When I got there I went through all the standard check-up stuff before we got to my favorite part, the ultrasound. 
"And there he is." The medical droid said. 
I looked over at the screen and couldn't help but smile. My son. 
"Would like copies of the scan?" The droid asked. 
"Yeah, just have them sent to my data pad. I'll share them Lord Maul later." 
"Very well. I must have a few questions before you leave, is that alright?" 
"Yeah." I nodded. 
"Okay. Question one, how are you feeling?" 
"Fine." I sighed. 
"Care to elaborate?" 
"Note really.” I suddenly didn’t really want to answer these questions because they were making me think about how Maul had seemingly forgotten about today. 
"Question two, have you been eating properly?" 
"Yup." I was being short with the droid. 
"Question three, have you been experiencing any discomfort?" 
"I'm carrying a human/zabrak hybrid, force-sensitive baby in my uterus, and despite only being 26 ½ weeks he’s had a growth spurt and is measuring 29, almost 30 weeks, so yes, I've been experiencing discomfort." I sassed. 
"How would you rate your discomfort, on a scale of 1-10." 
I let out a frustrated sigh, I was tired and missed Maul, "it's like a 5-6, very annoying but manageable. Are we almost done?" 
"Question four, have you been sleeping properly?" The droid ignored my question. 
"No." I said quietly. 
"Do you know what the cause is? If you're uncomfortable, try laying on your side. Many women at this stage in their pregnancy find it is more com-" 
"I'm not uncomfortable, just lonely. Maul's been super busy." I bit my lip, keeping the tears at bay, "I'm done. I'd like to leave now. Send me the scans." I sat up and pulled my shirt down. 
Before the droid could say anything I was gone. I went straight to Maul's office. He shouldn't have anyone right now. I opened the door and he didn't even bother to look up and see who it was.
"Don't you understand the concept of a closed door!? If the door is closed you do not enter. I do not have time for drop-ins right now. Go to Qi'ra and schedule a meeting. Now get out!" He said, not even glancing up to see it was just me. 
Suddenly all the sadness I felt melted away and was replaced with anger. 
"Didn't know I needed a meeting to speak to the father of the child I'm carrying." I snapped. 
He turned to face me eyes wide. 
"Yn, I'm sorry, I didn't kn-" he began, clearly upset that he yelled at me. 
"It's whatever." I cut him off, "Your heir is doing fine by the way. I'll send you the scans." I turned to leave and he used the force to shut the door before me. 
"Maul, open the door." I practically growled. 
I heard him sigh defeated and the door opened. 
"I'll see you tonight." He said gently. 
I scoffed, "I've heard that one before." 
"I will." 
"You better, we leave at 3:00." I said before leaving.
I made my way to where Qi'ra was working. 
"Yn, everything alright?" 
"Yes, do you have Maul's schedule?" 
"Yes..." 
"Send it to me." I said taking a seat at my desk. 
"Yes ma'am." She could tell I was in one of those moods where you don't question me. 
I looked it over and saw that he had meeting well into the evening again. 
"What the hell?" 
"Is something wrong?" 
"Why does he have meetings after 3:00?" 
"Last minute, urgent meetings." She replied. 
"We're supposed to leave at 3:00 for Dasar's wedding." 
"That's not until next week." 
"No, it's not. No... does he think it's next week?" 
Her silence gave me my answer. 
Without any hesitation, I sent a message to the hangar for them to prep my ship for departure. Then I pushed myself up out of my chair and went back to Maul's office. He looked panicked as he scrolled on his datapad. 
"So I guess I'm going alone?" 
"Yn- I-"
"Save it. I've been reminding you and reminding you about this. Clearly, you weren't listening. My stuff is packed. I already sent for my ship to be prepared. I was waiting until 3:00 to let you finish for the day but since you're not going I don't have to wait and I can get there earlier for my friend..." I was crying at this point. 
“Yn, please give me some time to figure something out.” Maul pleaded. 
“No. I am leaving. Feel free to show up when you can. Or don’t. I literally couldn’t give a single fuck about what you do right now.” I said before turning to leave. 
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baronessblixen · 4 months
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O Holy No (5/10)
Today's prompt: secret Santa faux pax
Summary: Scully and Mulder make it to her apartment but… something feels off. (wc: 1,701)
Tagging @today-in-fic
Their cab drive home to her apartment might have been the most awkward moment she and Mulder have ever shared. Neither knew what to say. Whenever they caught the other one glancing over, they giggled, blushed, and looked away again. They held hands until his got too sweaty and he let go to covertly wipe it on his pants. Their cab driver, if he spared them any thought, must have believed they’d only recently met each other.
Mulder’s hand landed on the small of her back when they got out and walked into her apartment building. The snow had stopped by then and merely a few flurries remained.
The elevator ride upstairs felt just as stinted and Scully began to wonder if maybe they’d made a mistake after all. Inside her apartment, it was warm and she asked Mulder for his coat, the smell of cold winter air and their first kiss woven into the fabric. She closed her eyes, breathing it in, convinced Mulder wouldn’t notice. Except he had. She had blushed, offered him a coffee, and disappeared into the kitchen. And that’s where she still is, hiding.
“Must be entertaining,” Mulder says, walking into the kitchen, startling her. He points at the coffee machine, where the dark liquid slowly drips into the glass carafe. “Is it okay if I join you?” His smile is disarming and welcome, so she nods. They stand side by side, watching the machine work its magic. Silence settles over them again, uncomfortably. Scully wrings her hands, trying desperately to think of something to say. There are days when they talk with their mouths open, half chewing their lunch because there is so much to say. Now, after their first kiss, when there should be nothing but elation, there’s only this.
“I should have gotten you a new coffee machine,” Mulder says, and Scully turns around, slapping his chest in the process.
“Gifts!” she exclaims. “We can exchange gifts like we were… we were going to do that last night.”
“Um, I didn’t think of bringing it with me,” he admits, touching his neck and giving her a sheepish look.
“I can wait,” she says softly and for the first time in a while, she feels normal around Mulder. She touches his wrist and the same electricity she experienced earlier today rushes through her. Her eyes find his and once more, all her worries evaporate. Only Mulder has that effect on her. The anxiety falls from her shoulders and she finds herself laughing.
“What’s so funny?” he asks, sounding amused.
“This,” she says, gesturing between them. “Come on. Let’s do something that feels normal.”
“I hate to break this to you, Scully, but no one would describe either of us as normal,” he jokes, his breath tickling her neck because he’s that close.
“Shush now,” she says, taking his hand and dragging him into the living room. The Christmas lights bathe him in a soft, golden hue and she catches herself losing focus for a moment. He’s grinning, removing a small Santa hat from one of the reindeer figures she’s displaying on her mantle and putting it on his head.
“I’m ready for my present,” he says, sitting on the couch with his hands folded in his lap. She wonders if that’s what he looked like as a child. Curious and excited to unwrap a treasure. The thought warms her heart. And it breaks it, too. One day he lost it. The excitement vanished from his eyes much like his sister had. Yet, here he is, his eyes once more full of wonder and happiness.
“I, um, have three,” she says, blushing slightly. She reaches for one that she’s put under the Christmas tree. It’s the one she was going to give him yesterday. “Here you go.”
“Thank you,” he says with a sweet smile before he tears the wrapping paper. The smile on his face never leaves, not even when he sees what she got him. He laughs out loud, unfolding the tie with the tiny alien heads on it.
“They’re gray,” Scully says.
“I can see that,” Mulder replies, his finger tracing the heads. “I love it, Scully. I can’t wait to wear it at work. Skinner is gonna love this.” He lifts his head and she sees that his joy is genuine. It’s one of two silly gifts she got him. She’s not sure she’s quite ready to give him the other one yet. Lost in thought, she barely notices him leaning over and pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. This isn’t the first time he does this, but it’s the first time his lips linger. Her eyes fall shut and her lips seek out his, craving the connection. They don’t need to talk. They’ve had seven years of verbal foreplay. Now it’s all about this.
When his hand sneaks under her sweater, she shivers and moans into his mouth. He said he didn’t bring her any presents. She begs to differ. This here – him – is the only present she wants and needs. And she can’t wait any longer. She breaks off their kiss, temporarily mesmerized seeing his lush lips she’s just tasted, and which he licks.
Scully tugs at his sweater, begging him to help her. He’s just as eager as she is and his sweater comes off. As soon as it’s gone, her mouth is back on his, and her hands are on his naked stomach where his undershirt has ridden up. Her hand is on its way to his jeans when the doorbell rings. Their mouths come apart and they stare at each other, their hair as wild as their eyes.
“Are you expecting someone?” Mulder asks her and she shakes her head.
“My mom isn’t going to be here until tomorrow morning.”
The doorbell rings again and Scully uses Mulder's shoulder to get up from the couch. She gets on tiptoe to look through the peephole and gasps when she sees who it is.
“It’s Skinner,” she whispers, panic in her voice and on her face.
“What is he doing here?” Mulder gets up and joins her, checking the peephole just in case. The doorbell rings again and they both startle.
“You need to hide,” Scully says.
“Why? We’re not doing anything.” She tilts her head and gives him a look. “Well, we're not doing it at work.”
“You really want to greet Skinner with that erection, Mulder?” They both look at the prominent bulge in his pants and finally, he relents.
“Fine,” he grumbles and she watches him disappear into her bedroom. Only when she’s sure he’s hidden does she open the door, hoping she looks presentable.
“Sir,” she says, faking a smile. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk,” he says, sounding serious and Scully’s heart plummets. “Can I come in? It won’t take long.” She closes the door behind Skinner and hopes Mulder will behave for another five minutes.
“May I ask what this is about?”
“It’s a somewhat delicate topic.” Skinner clears his throat and she notices the small bag he has in his hand. “As you know, the FBI has organized a Secret Santa.”
“I know,” she says slowly. She was his Secret Santa. She got him a bottle of expensive whiskey, not knowing what else to get him. But how did he find out the gift was from her?
“Well, I know they are supposed to be secret but… I think there was a slight mix-up.” He reaches into the bag and takes out a very familiar garment.
Oh, fuck.
“I don’t think this was supposed to be for me.” And he’s right. He hands her the pair of boxer shorts that she got for Mulder. They’re a deep forest green with a few paw tracks on them and the word “Sascrotch”. She thought it was funny and she knew Mulder would, too.
“I’m sorry, Sir,” she says, trying to hide the shorts away from sight. “I don’t know how this could have happened. Wait… that means your actual present is still here.” She throws the shorts behind the couch, unable to look at them any longer, and grabs another present from under her tree.
“This is for you.” He is reluctant to take it from her. “I promise it’s the right one this time.” She’s crimson, her whole face on fire. So is Skinner’s.
“Thank you, Agent Scully.” Ever the polite Walter S. Skinner. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you as well, Sir.” She opens the door for him and luckily, he seems just as happy to be leaving.
“And Merry Christmas to you, too, Mulder,” he says a bit louder. Scully thinks she might start hyperventilating. She finds she can’t say anything or deny Mulder’s presence so she just puts on another smile and gently but firmly ushers him out of her apartment. When the door falls shut, Mulder peeks his head out of her bedroom.
“You think he knew I was here?” He’s grinning. “Hey, it’s okay, Scully.” He walks towards her, taking her into his arms. “I think he knew about us before even we knew.”
“It’s not even that, it’s- it’s the gift.”
“What gift?” So he hasn’t heard everything.
“There was a mix-up with the Secret Santa gifts,” she says, walking to the couch and picking up the discarded boxer shorts. “I got Skinner a whiskey bottle but I must have confused it with your other gift.”
“What is it?” Mulder is too curious to stay away.
“Please keep in mind it was supposed to be funny.” Scully hands him the shorts and watches his face as it turns into a beautiful grin.
“’Sascrotch’?” He beams at her. “Thank you, Scully.” He leans forward and kisses her softly. No corners this time, but fully on the lips. It ignites her fire again, making her quickly forget about Skinner. “Do you want me to model it for you?” Mulder asks with a waggle of his eyebrows.
“Later,” she says quietly, kissing him again. She takes his hand and leads him back into her bedroom. Before she sees him in those boxer shorts, she wants to see him without any clothes at all.
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hearts-hunger · 1 year
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Read on AO3 | Masterlist
Summary: You and Josh celebrate Valentine's Day. || Standalone fic in the Cabin Fever universe
Pairings: Josh Kiszka x Reader | Genre: Fluff | Word Count: 2.1k | Warnings: None!
A/N: Happy day after Valentine's! Sorry I didn't get this out yesterday, but I hope it's cute enough to make up for it! ♡
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You stood outside the studio in the chilly February evening, watching the street lamps come on as you waited for your boyfriend. Josh and the boys had been working long days in the studio; today was no exception, even with it being Valentine's Day. You understood that they had work to get done, and you were happy to be patient and have your celebration with Josh when he was done.
Still, you hadn't been able to resist showering him with little treats throughout the day. You’d brought him and the boys red and pink frosted donuts that morning, and you'd brought Josh’s favorite takeout for lunch in the afternoon. You’d texted him love notes as he worked, and he’d responded to your most recent one with a kissy face and almost done in here, be out soon; you watched the door eagerly and imagined what sort of plans Josh would have for the rest of your night.
After a few more minutes of waiting, the door opened and Josh came out looking for you. He was happy to see you, and you felt a glow in your chest as he came over to you with a big, sweet smile. He didn’t say anything, just took your in a tight bear hug and gave a long, contented sigh.
“Hi, baby,” he said after a moment. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too, honey.” You pulled back just enough to give him a kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
He grinned. “Happy Valentine's Day,” he said. “You want to see what I got you?”
You nodded, watching with excitement as he pulled something out of his jacket pocket. He presented his gift to you with a boyish smile.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said. In his hand was a singular, pink, heart-shaped lollipop.
“Oh,” you said, before you could stop yourself. You tried to quiet the part of you that was a little disappointed; you didn’t need anything for Valentine’s to know Josh loved you, and it was a sweet gesture even if it was a little... simple.
“You don’t like it?” he asked.
You looked up at him. “Oh, no, I love it,” you said quickly. You smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“It’s pink lemonade,” he said, and you could tell he was regretting his choice of gift. “Just like you like.” 
“It is my favorite flavor,” you agreed.
He fished in his pocket and pulled out another one. 
“I have one for me too,” he said. “I thought...” He rubbed the back of his neck, bashful, and you took pity on your poor boyfriend who only thought to get you a lollipop for Valentine’s.
“You thought what?” you asked.
He shrugged. “I thought it would be nice to sit out here on the sidewalk like we always do and talk for a little bit. And have lollipops.” He gave you a smile that was more of a grimace. “I dropped the ball pretty hard on this one, huh?”
Your smile was fond and forgiving. “No, honey. I think that sounds wonderful. Thank you for thinking of it.” Even if you had been imagining more than one piece of candy, you liked the idea of sitting and talking for a while.
You sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, tugging on his hand to get him to sit next to you. He did, holding his hand out to take your lollipop wrapper when you opened it.
“Let me take a picture,” you said, holding your lollipop out in front of you. “Hold yours up too.”
He did, and you snapped a picture of the pink and red candies in the light of the warm street lamp. You turned your phone towards him.
“Big smile,” you said.
He gave you a beaming grin. “Big smile!”
You laughed and took the picture, knowing you’d cherish that one as long as you lived. Josh was your sunshine no matter what, and his smile never failed to draw one out from you.
You put your phone away and leaned close for a kiss. He gave you a goofy muah.
“A real one,” you giggled.
He smiled and kissed you properly, slow and deep and sugary-sweet. “I love you, baby.”
You draped your arm over his shoulder and played with his hair while you caught your breath. 
“I love you too, Josh,” you said softly. “And I love my Valentine’s gift. Just being with you is perfect.”
He kissed you again for a long while, and even after he asked you to tell him how your day was, he often interrupted you with soft kisses. When your lollipops were gone, you shared the last American Spirit in his pack; you talked and laughed on the sidewalk like you used to do before you were dating, just enjoying each other’s company. You’d spent countless hours out here in front of the studio as friends, both of you flirting with each other but too afraid to make a move; as much as you’d loved it then, you loved it even more now that you were a couple.
“You ready to head home?” Josh asked after a while. “I’ll make dinner.”
“Pizza, please,” you said.
He grinned. “Now, who could have guessed that?” Though Josh would readily admit that his twin had taken most of the talent in the cooking department, everyone agreed that Josh’s homemade pizza was unmatched, and you often asked him to make it for you.
He took your hand as he stood, the two of you walking together to where you’d parked the Jeep. Josh let you pick the music as he drove home, and you put on Aerie.
“You have excellent taste in music,” Josh said. “Whoever turned you on to John Denver must be a musical genius.”
You lightly punched his shoulder. “Musical genius, huh?”
He laughed. “Yeah. Wouldn’t you say so?”
You leaned your head against his arm. “Yeah, I’d say so.”
Josh sang or hummed along at various points; as you always did, you loved to listen to his voice.
“John Denver’s version of this song is better than the original,” Josh said confidently when “Everyday” came on. “The way he plays with the cadence, makes it folksy — listen.”
You smiled as you looked over at him. You’d heard the song plenty of times, but you liked to watch Josh feel the music as he sang it.
“Love like yours will surely come my way,” he sang, each note warm with admiration for the style of one of his favorite musicians. “Love like ours will sure be here to stay.”
You played with his free hand, running your fingers over his knuckles. “You’re right. His version is better.”
Josh smiled over at you. “That’s my girl.”
When you arrived home, Josh declined your offer to help him get his things out of the back of the car.
“You go on inside,” he said. “It’s only one or two things I have to grab.”
You did as he said, happy to be home; you unlocked the front door and slipped your shoes off before you came into the living room.
“Oh!”
The living room of your apartment was decorated top to bottom in festive, tasteful decorations put up with careful attention to detail. Dozens of hand-cut construction paper hearts were taped to the walls; polaroids of you and Josh were interspersed among them, each one a sweet or goofy moment from the past six months since you’d started dating. Glittery balloons and red streamers trailing down from the ceiling framed the nest of pillows and blankets carefully set up around a cutting board full of snacks and a bottle of wine. White fairy lights crisscrossed overhead, giving the whole scene a soft, cosy glow.
You ran back outside and fairly tackled Josh with a hug. He laughed as he caught you against him.
“What’s this for?” he teased.
“Oh, you —! Joshua Kiszka, I can’t stand you sometimes!” You pulled him down for a kiss. “And you let me believe you got me a lollipop for Valentine’s.”
He chuckled. “I did, didn’t I? I just forgot to mention all the other stuff I got you.”
He went inside with you, and he wore a bashful but pleased smile when you gushed over how pretty it looked and how much you loved the effort he’d gone to. 
“You like it?” he asked, taking you in his arms.
You beamed up at him. “I love it. Thank you, Josh.”
“My pleasure, sweetheart.” He kissed your nose. “Stay here for just one minute, okay?”
You smiled. “What now?”
He smirked. “I guess you’ll just have to be patient, now won’t you?”
He went down the hall to your bedroom, and you had a few chocolate-covered strawberries while you waited for him to come back.
“Bath’s almost ready for you, baby,” Josh said when he returned. “I put out some pajamas for you on the bed, too.”
“Thank you,” you said, touched that he’d done even more for you even after all this. 
He smiled. “You’re welcome, love. Why don’t you go unwind for a while, and I’ll get started on your pizza, hm?”
You kissed him again before you left, and you listened to him singing the same song from the drive home as he started making dinner — come what may, do you ever long for true love from me? You went into the bathroom, your heart wobbling as you saw he’d left you dozens of red sticky notes in the shape of a heart on the mirror, each one bearing a handwritten note.
To my beloved, the middle one read in his messy, lovely handwriting. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby!
He’d set the tub to fill, and while you waited you read each note where he told you how beautiful you were and how much he loved you. The tub was bedecked with candles and rose-petal bath salts, and you sank into the luxuriously warm water when it was ready.
After a few minutes, you heard a knock on the door. “Baby?”
“Come in,” you said, and you smiled when Josh peeked around the door.
“I brought you some wine,” he said. He came in and handed you a glass, clinking his own against it. “Bajabule.”
You smiled up at him. “Can you stay for a minute?”
“Oh, if you insist,” he teased. He sat on the edge of the tub, and you took a moment to admire him in the candlelight. He looked cosy and warm in his soft white sweater, his cheeks rosy from the heat of the bath, and his curls shone gold as he ran his hand through them.
“Thank you for doing all this for me,” you said.
He grinned. “You’re very welcome, baby. I almost caved earlier, at the studio — you looked so sad that I’d only gotten you one single lollipop. I wanted to tell you so bad.”
You gave a soft laugh. “I didn’t mean to be unhappy,” you said. “I would have loved it even if that’s all you’d done.”
He leaned down to kiss you, and you touched a hand to his jaw.
“I love you,” he said gently.
“I love you too.”
He kissed you languidly for a few moments, then gave you a last, reluctant-to-leave kiss.
“Let me go make sure your pizza’s not burning,” he said. “We can watch a movie or something when you’re ready.”
“Our movie?” you asked.
He chuckled. “Sure, baby.”
When you’d gotten out of the tub and dressed in the cosy pajamas Josh set out for you, you went back out to the living room to join him for dinner. The two of you watched Dirty Dancing as you ate; when the pizza was gone, you shared the snacks and opened the second bottle of wine.
By the end of the movie, both of you were giggly and flushed, steadily getting more tipsy and more handsy with each other. Josh was singing “now I’ve had the time of my life,” in a deep, exaggerated voice; you laughed and moved close to him, peppering his face with kisses.
“Did you have a good Valentine's Day, baby?” he asked, his smile warm against your cheek as he kissed you.
“Of course I did,” you said. You straddled his waist and loved the way his cheeks pinked as he looked up at you with love and desire.
“I think I know the perfect way to end it,” you said, carding your hands through his hair. “What do you think?”
He sighed against your mouth. “I think you’ve got some killer ideas, baby.”
His hands wandered over you, wanting and gentle and speaking of his love for you in more than words. This had been what you wanted for Valentine's Day, and though you loved and cherished Josh’s kindness to you, you knew you would have been happy just to be close to him.
You cradled his face in your hands and kissed him.
“I love you, Josh,” you said. “Happy Valentine's Day.”
He smiled and kissed you back. “Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you too.”
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sorry if tumblr didn’t tag you — it’s stupid sometimes. but i’m real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if you’re a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here!
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megumi-fm · 6 months
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16th - 20th October || 86 to 90 days of 100 150dop
hi besties! it's been a while since i updated on here properly. there was kind of an infestation issue but now it's all flushed out and I'm back! i've decided to upgrade my days of productivity challenge to 150 total days because i have 40 days of uni remaining (as well as additional exam days) and I wanted to note all of them down and wrap it up in this challenge itself. I'm also gonna start adding memes and random non-productivity updates, just so I feel more motivated to actually post stuff, instead of procrastinating and clubbing too many days at once.
🎶: Hayloft II by Mother Mother 🔉: MAG053 The Crusader
💌: today I am grateful for music! i've been in a funk recently, but my playlists has really been helping me through it <3
my main focus for the past few days and especially today (20th Oct) has been to complete an assignment on 3D bioprinting and it's relevance in drug testing. I've done a lot of research and learnt a lot of interesting things, but my interest has also led me to getting too distracted and not actually wrapping up the project. I really hope I finish it by tonight, I like how it's looking so far.
i spent yesterday (19th Oct) with my cousins and my sister, I took them to this gaming arcade and babysat them for the day. they seemed to have a good time, I enjoyed a day out of the house as well. we spent so much time there, I managed to upgrade the game card to a gold tier :P we also had taco bell for lunch <3
the day before that (18th Oct) I spent a couple hours on my week3 neuroscience lectures. the concepts are comparatively challenging to understand, so i sat through them many times, I'm yet to make notes for them
on Tuesday (17th Oct) I had extra classes (booo it was the most boring time ever) and a dentist appointment after, so I couldn't really get much done. the dental clinic was just a kilometer or two away from home, so I just walked back, taking pictures of the greenery on the way
i didn't have uni on Monday (16th Oct) so I ended up waking up late but i did clean my room and chart out a work plan the weeks until this semester ends. I've been trying to follow it best I can but oh well, things keep popping up from time to time
in the midst of this I'm in the midst of massive nationwide cricket fever (the world cup is going on and we're doing really well! we've won every match we played so far!) It's also festival time here so I have holidays this week (we don't celebrate at home but my friends call me home and I get to partake with them so it's really nice). And this is coupled with my insane levels of consumption of The Magnus Archives Podcast 24/7 xD. Additionally, I have quite a chunk of AI-ML work to get done by this week (SGD and XBoost model development) and I don't know the first thing about it or where to even start so I'm kind of avoiding it for the moment. Hoping to start that once I'm done with this 3d bioprinting presentation. Fingers crossed!
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vanishingstarrs · 11 months
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playing house
katsuki bakugo x reader, established relationship, fluff
( my bf and i basically played house yesterday and it felt very bakugo coded so enjoy :) <3 )
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It was nearly midday when you woke up, unlocking your phone to multiple messages from your boyfriend. He sent you updates throughout his morning, seeing as he was a much early riser than you. It didn’t help that you were sick (him being the cause of it, you having caught the cold he had last week) and sore from the random urge to redecorate your entire room last night.
Turns out, hauling furniture and books and all the little trinkets you’d received as gifts from your boyfriend took a toll.
You headed down for breakfast (lunch technically) while responding to his messages before acknowledging his see you soon text with a question.
soo what do you wanna do today ?
You’d already been planning on seeing one another, you’d talked about maybe seeing a movie, though none of the ones out now seemed to really catch either your attention. Various messages came in one after the other as you heated up your food.
parents aren’t home today, they’re at some event until late
i was thinking we could watch Y/F/M and buy some snacks
plus you’re sick so i don’t wanna go far
then later i’ll make us dinner
and if you’d like we can go get ice cream
Your heart swelled. Katsuki didn’t always seem like he’d be the sweetest and your friends always questioned the nature of your relationship and how it worked out, but you knew deep down he was a softy. Especially when it came to you.
you offering to take care of me the whole day ? 🥹🫂
He responded quickly.
the least i can do after getting you sick
You laughed.
so you admit you got me sick ?
yes
sadly
i didn’t want to
it’s okay, worth it in order to kiss my baby 🫶🏼
good
lmk when i can pick you up
After your meal, you sat at your vanity, trying to decide how to style your hair, already having opted out of wearing makeup when Katsuki texted you again.
don’t do your hair, i wanna see your natural hair
well in that case you can come get me whenever, i was already planning on skipping makeup
nose is all red from tissues, it’d all come off anyway :(
. . .
You watched the little dots appear, go away, and then come back before a text came.
what if i told you i was already outside ?
You stood up, heading to your window to find your boyfriend standing right outside. You unlocked the latch and called out to him,“Five minutes, I just gotta change clothes!”
“What for? I already told ya my folks aren’t home.”
“I know, but still! Just hold on!”
You shut the window before he could counter you again and quickly found a semi-presentable outfit just in case his parents left their event early as they sometimes did. Katsuki always shook his head at the fact that you insisted on wearing a perfect outfit whenever you’d be at his house, you couldn’t help it though. You wanted to look nice in case his parents wound up being there.
You weren’t even that comfortable being home alone with him, especially when a certain look came over his face and you two wound up in not so innocent positions.
The only reason you were allowed over was because Katsuki had told his parents he’d gotten you sick and he wanted to cook for you.
You bid your parents goodbye and met up with Katsuki, hugging him first thing. You didn’t miss the way he inhaled your scent, most prominent in your hair by the way he buried his face in it before planting a quick kiss on your neck.
“I missed you too.” You grinned, knowing through his actions what he was trying to say.
He was a tad clingy and you loved it.
Since neither one of you had a car, you walked, though you didn’t mind and you knew he didn’t either as you chatted the entire way. Plus, he didn’t live too far.
There was a convenience store near your house, but Katsuki wanted to wait until you guys reached one closer to his as he wanted to pick up a few ingredients for the meal he was planning and he was certain they had them in stock there. Plus that way you didn’t have to carry anything on the way to his house.
So you walked and took turns talking, you told him about the way you’d decorated your room and the new layout of it and then he told you all about the fashion show his parents were attending and how they mentioned they’d like you two to attend with them on a day you weren’t sick since they had a lot of them coming up and they thought it might interest you.
“We’d have to dress up though, and that’d be annoying.” He frowned.
“Sounds like it might be fun though,” you shrugged,“Plus it’s your parents career, wouldn’t hurt to go in support of them.”
“Yeah, true…”
The topic shifted yet again as you neared the store and Katsuki grabbed a basket at the entrance,“Any snacks you want today, babe?”
You pointed out the premade coffee and he shook his head,“What do you need that shit for today? We’re just gonna be laying around all day.”
“It’s not that I need it, I just enjoy the taste, if I needed it at some point it honestly would’ve been last night, I stayed up way too late.” You sighed.
“Tsk, told you you didn’t have to get it all done in a day.”
“Yeah, but I did and I feel way better about it since now I don’t have to worry about it this week.” You countered, watching with a smile as he grabbed the one he knew you liked and tossed it into the basket.
He knew your favorite snacks too so he didn’t really have to ask what would make you feel better, he took his time nitpicking ingredients and you hugged him from behind all the while he decided whether he might change his meal last minute. It was all very domestic and you allowed yourself to imagine that this is what it’d be like if the two of you lived together. “Make your decision yet? I told you I’m okay with whatever, baby, I’ll eat anything you give me.”
“Don’t I know it.” He smirked and you punched his shoulder at the inappropriate comment.
“Stop.” Your cheeks heated up.
“You love it.” He teased further, even going as far as giving your ass a slap, despite the family strolling right by when he did it.
You rolled your eyes, waiting for them to pass before heading back to his side to hug his arm again,“Yeah, maybe.”
“No, completely, or you wouldn’t be with me.” He pecked your cheek and you leaned into the touch of his hand.
Once upon a time he was shy touching you, now he did it so freely and naturally. It felt like you’d been together forever, despite the fact that it’d only been roughly eleven months.
You went about a couple more aisles, finishing up and walking the remainder of the way home. He set up his things in the fridge and grabbed all the snacks and your drink,“You don’t want this in a different cup? I can change it for you, plus it’s already feeling kinda warm. I’ll add ice.”
“It has ice, love. Plus half the fun is the cup it already comes in.” You made grabby hands,“Sit, and let’s watch. You know you’ve been dying to know how this series ends.”
He settled himself beside you on the sofa and you quickly snuggled up to his side, though it was a tad uncomfortable wearing outside clothes when he was lounging comfortably in sweats. Katsuki took notice of how you constantly pulled your shirt down and he sighed,“I told you you should’ve just worn your pajamas. They’re not coming home, you’ll be back at yours way before that.”
“You’ve said that before, you know your dad will wanna bail before it ends.”
“You’re annoying.” He rolled his eyes, but you know he didn’t mean it as he said,“At least wear one of my shirts.”
In the end he somehow convinced you to wear one of his shirts and an old pair of sweatpants he had from when he was younger that fit you.
You frowned all the way down the stairs, but you couldn’t deny the fact that you were a lot more at home in his clothes than what you’d been in before.
You felt him walk up behind you and his teasing voice in your ear,“Now it looks like we fucked.”
“Katsuki!” You shoved him down the remaining steps, but all he did was laugh and open his arms up to you.
You rolled your eyes,“Keep it up and we won’t again for a month.”
“Don’t pretend to be a prude.” He scoffed as he tugged you back down to lay with him.
As soon as your head hit his shoulder, the reality of how sick you felt and tired you were finally settled into your bones and the warmth his body naturally produced made it so you fell asleep at only fifteen minutes into the movie.
By the time your eyes opened again the movie was at its final scene and you felt guilty as you asked him if he was actually paying attention to it and if he genuinely liked it.
He claimed he did after all three times of you asking him if he was sure he enjoyed it. He placed a kiss to your forehead before standing up and stretching,“Gonna get started on dinner, do you want something to snack on in the meantime?”
You thought about it,“Nope.” Better to wait and see what he’d make.
You stood up with him and followed him into the kitchen with the blanket he’d draped over you at some point still wrapped around you, sitting patiently at the island while he maneuvered his way around the familiar space.
The first time you found out Katsuki knew how to cook you’d been shocked, now it seemed fitting that he knew how to work the stove.
In fact, he knew more about knife techniques and the perfect cooking temperatures than you did. The few times you’d found yourself in the kitchen ended in more injuries than successful meals.
You spoke while he cooked and occasionally he’d come over to receive a kiss like it was a reward, when he finally finished he took both your plates and walked you back to the living room to watch something else while you ate. You couldn’t help the thought from crawling into your mind:
Is this what it’d be like if you lived together?
You’d never felt more like an old married couple than you did now, even with all the times you and Katsuki had disagreements and people described you as such. It didn’t really feel like that until now.
“I love you.” You broke the silence that had settled among you both after finishing eating.
He flushed, looking away and you couldn’t help but smile.
“I love you too.”
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masterlist | playlist | chapter vi
Chapter VII: Soft But Estranged
summary: an off day on tour doesn’t mean an off day for partying! The entire touring family heads out for what’s supposed to be a fun night off on the Vegas Strip.
tags/warnings: so much angst it’s gross, mutual pining, rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, slow burn, hurt/slight comfort, pining, longing, break up, excessive drinking
a/n: i’m turning up the dial on this fic to 11. angst to the max. no fluff all pain. torture. enjoy! Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. Reblog to support the author!
——
October 1989
“Oh, honey, come here.” Robin pulls you into a tight hug, letting you sob and snot into her shoulder. It’s three in the morning, and you’ve been drinking yourself into a stupor. You left Eddie a week ago, and haven’t been able to breathe right since. Seeing the video for The Crawl on MTV this morning sent you into a dizzying depression, remembering the days when Eddie would sit at the kitchen table trying to put the chords together. You wished you were with him, on tour, greeting him with kisses after every set. But he left for tour yesterday without telling you, and you only found out when Dustin asked why you weren’t with him. You hadn’t had the heart to tell him you’d broken up with him, so Steve had to break the news.
“I just don’t get it. Why didn’t he try harder? Why didn’t he fight for us?” You weep into the fabric of Robin’s shirt as she rubs your back in soothing circles.
“I don’t know, love, but he’s a fucking idiot.”
Present day
Your POV
Your issue of SPIN comes out today, and your heart is slamming in your chest in line to check out. In your hands is a copy of the magazine, a picture of Corroded Coffin plastered across the cover. Eddie’s eyes seem to glare even from the glossy paper, his arms crossed over his bare chest while the rest of his bandmates stand behind him, looking equally stoic. In the top corner of the page reads, Femme Punk Takeover: An Interview with Death Dance Approximately. You read the words over and over, refusing to spoil the spread for yourself until you’re alone and safe to scream with your friends about it.
Once you exit the store, magazine clutched in your hand, you speed walk back to the hotel you’re staying in. Today is your off day, but tomorrow you play a show on the one and only Las Vegas Strip. Your plans include celebrating the magazine spread by drinking yourselves silly.
Back in your hotel room, you kick your shoes off and fling yourself onto the bed. Robin’s out shopping with Steve, and Sylvie and Lilith are getting lunch, so you have the afternoon to yourself. Instead of diving right into your own spread, you curiously turn the pages until you find the Corroded Coffin interview. It spans four full pages, including photographs and quotes in bold, big lettering. You swear to yourself you’ll only skim, but that promise is quickly broken when you read the first sentence.
Kings of Rock, Corroded Coffin, sit uncomfortably in their folding director-esque chairs, as if sitting for an interview is the least punk thing they could be doing. Their frontman fidgets with his gleaming silver rings, his lips pressed together in concentration or annoyance.
Jessie Stevens: So, on your new album Freak Show, there’s a song titled Sweetheart. It’s far different from the rest of the tracks, a calming break before the climax of Severed Thumb and Wiped Clean. What influenced this mood change?
Eddie Munson: Sweetheart is about someone that was once very close to me. It’s about love and loss, and a whole shit ton of heartbreak, and the one person that never made me feel like, the freak, y’know?
J: Do you still talk to this person?
The frontman’s face falls a little, like he’s reminded of something upsetting.
E: It’s… complicated.
You roll your eyes. It’s not complicated, the answer is a firm no. You and Eddie don’t talk, not more than you’re forced to. You continue scanning the article, until you find something else that catches your eye.
J: You’re currently touring with Death Dance Approximately, who are quickly moving up in the world of rock. What advice would you give them as seasoned rockstars?
Munson pauses, looking at his bandmates with a question in his eyes.
E: I guess I’d tell them never to let go of themselves. I lost myself for a while, honestly I’m still pretty lost. The industry is brutal, it takes so much of your soul away from you, and if I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be not to let go of who I was. I miss that person.
You read Eddie’s answer, over and over, your eyes stinging. You miss who Eddie was, before signing, before giving in to fame and attention the way he has. Desperately, you want to believe that sweet boy is still in there somewhere. You think he is, after the events of last night, but you’re not sure how to yank him out of the steel shell he’s built around himself.
Further down, one more thing catches your attention.
J: Do you wish you’d done anything differently? Whether it be in your career, or in your life outside of it?
E: I wish I fought harder for my people. I lost someone I loved so much. I let them walk out of my life without any objection. I wish so badly that I could’ve made them stay, but… It was too late. I’ll never know now. I’ll never get to fix it.
Munson’s bandmates look to each other knowingly, clearly aware that the mysterious person he speaks of is the reason for his sour mood.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” It’s barely a whisper, despite no one being in the room with you. All he had to do was ask, and you’d tell him everything. Why you left, what would’ve made you stay, but he’d rather tell the whole world he fucked up than just apologize to you.
Eddie’s POV
His copy of SPIN lay open in his lap as he reads the Death Dance interview. His bandmates are god knows where, enjoying their day off while Eddie mopes in his hotel room.
J: How do you guys feel about touring with one of the biggest names in rock?
Eddie rolls his eyes at the question, knowing you probably hated hearing his band brought up in your interview.
Y: I mean, we knew them growing up. It’s really cool to see them all again, and we’re honored to tour with them.
Eddie’s surprised you’d even mention knowing him at this point, it makes his heart beat a little faster.
J: You know Corroded Coffin?
Y: Yeah! I moved to Hawkins my senior year, where I met Robin, and they were all seniors. We played DnD together, made music together. We lost touch after high school, but the world is so small.
J: Is that what Indiana is about?
Y: In some respects, yeah. Indiana was a huge change from where I grew up in Boston, a much smaller, more conservative place for sure.
Eddie puts the magazine down, and reaches for his CD player. He skips to track 5, and closes his eyes as the guitars wail in his ears. He only knows parts of the song, from hearing it live when he can stomach watching your set, but somehow it feels like listening for the first time.
I’m from a city where no one knows each other / where we walk down streets avoiding eyes and shoving by / and when I moved to Indiana, I began to understand why / I wasn’t meant for smaller towns, where everyone knows my name, / but you had been there, my saving grace, / and now I miss the comfort. / I miss the sounds of singing birds, and the crackle of a fire. / I moved back to the city, and though it’s pretty, / it’s no longer what I know. / Indiana wasn’t home, but I found my home there / In the warmth of your eyes and the smell of your hair / I let myself believe I could make my life here / and when I lost you, I lost everything. / Indiana wasn’t home, but I found my home there. Indiana wasn’t home, and I lost my home there.
He plays the song four times before he can bring himself to breathe right again. Eddie can hear your heart breaking through your voice, the way it cracks on the chorus, the way you belt the final verse. All at once, he understands why you left, why you felt you had no choice. He was drowning in the pressure of being famous, leaving you behind to watch him from the shadows.
Your POV
You finally throw the magazine down, and rush to shower and get ready to go out. Tonight is your night off, a night to relax and not think about the boy across the hall. It’s easier said than done, though, as your mind keeps wandering to that final paragraph. I’ll never know now. I’ll never get to fix it. All he had to do was ask. You’d tell him everything; why you left, what could have gotten you to stay. But he’s been so cold, so distant with you, and you can’t really blame him. It’s just as difficult for you to be on tour with him, but you’re still trying to be mature about it.
Your spiral is disturbed by a knock on your door. You clip your earrings in and rush to answer it, smoothing your shirt to make sure you’re presentable. You open the door to Robin and Steve, their arms linked together like best friends on the playground. Both of them are dressed up, Steve in a button down and black slacks, Robin in sequined overalls that scream Vegas! They greet you with gleaming smiles, and you move aside to let them in.
“I’m almost ready! Any idea where we’re going?” You ask them both before pulling your lipstick out of your bag.
“We’re taking the strip by storm! It’s a group outing, everyone’s coming!” Robin claps her hands together
“Everyone?” You quirk an eyebrow, looking at her in the mirror.
She bites her lip and glances at Steve, who only shrugs. “Yeah, Gareth and Jeff overheard us planning, and we figured some bonding was in order. But don’t worry! We can separate when we get there.”
You smack your lips together and shrug. “It’s not me you have to worry about.” You turn to face them, extending your arms to present your glammed up self. “How do I look?”
“Like you’re gonna rip Eddie’s soul out of his bod— Ow!” Steve rubs where Robin has elbowed his arm. “You look beautiful.” He recovers, and you stick your tongue out at him.
“Let’s get goin’ then!” Robin heaves herself off the bed, and you hold the door for her and Steve, following them out the door.
The casinos are the most insane thing you’ve ever experienced. The bright lights almost blind you, and the sounds of slot machines are so loud you can’t hear yourself think. It’s no wonder no one wins these things, it’s impossible to concentrate.
“C’mon!” Sylvie grabs hold of your wrist, leading you and your bandmates to the blackjack table. You glance behind you, sending a help me look to Steve, who shrugs in defeat as he follows Eddie and Jeff to the bar.
“Robin, I don’t know how to play!” You object, but she’s already sitting in a free stool by the dealer.
“No worries, babe, this is all on me. I just want you all to watch me win!” She’s buzzed, having gulped her champagne down in the car on the way here. You giggle at her confidence, knowing damn well she also has no idea how to gamble.
“Whatever you do, don’t bet our royalties.” Lilith nudges her, hiccuping on her own bubbly.
“Yeah, yeah. Hit me!” She slaps the table, and the dealer smirks like he knows he’s about to watch Robin lose all of her disposable income.
Eddie’s POV
“Whiskey, neat.” He orders his drink, flopping down on an empty stool. Steve sits next to him, while Jeff orders drinks for himself and Gareth. “Come hang out, man!” Jeff calls when he receives his drinks, already walking to the table his bandmates sit at with yours. Eddie nods a response, nursing his drink.
“You gotta at least try to enjoy yourself tonight.” Steve says, taking a sip of what looks like fruit punch.
“I am enjoying myself, Steven” Eddie holds up his whiskey, as if to prove the point. Steve glares at him, and Eddie takes a swig. “What?”
“You’re moping! You’re a famous rockstar on a cross country tour, and you’re moping. Had I known you were gonna be a drama queen this whole time I would’ve brought a goddamn book to read.”
Eddie groans, taking another sip. “I know, I know. I’m miserable.”
“You need to talk to them.” Steve says bluntly, not looking at Eddie.
“Why would I do that?”
“I know you want to.”
“I do not!”
Steve snorts, and Eddie presses his lips together in annoyance. “You read that interview, right?” Eddie nods. “So you know they talk about you now. You’re on their mind. You listen to the song they mentioned?” He nods again. “So you still care about what they have to say. What’s stopping you? Why are you so fucking scared?”
Eddie turns in his chair, back to where your band sits at the table, anxiously watching as Robin plays another round. Your face is pink, caused by the alcohol or the warmth of the building. Your shirt hugs your frame tightly, accentuating your features. You lift a glass of champagne to your lips, pinky extended, leaving a smear of red lipstick on the rim of the glass. Your eyes sparkle with excitement as your friends cheer Robin on. You have a happy glow to you, and it takes everything inside of Eddie to rip his eyes away. “What’s stopping me is the fact that they deserve better.” Eddie grumbles, gulping the rest of his liquor down and calling the bartender over. “I don’t want to ruin this for them. I’m already here, and that can’t be easy. I want them to enjoy this experience, I don’t want to intrude on it.”
“So, what, you’re just gonna drink yourself to death every time we have an outing? You think that isn’t causing them any distress? Your liver is gonna deteriorate soon, man. May wanna figure out a different strategy.”
“Will you get off my ass about drinking, Harrington? It’s rich, coming from the kid that shotgunned like sixty beers a week his freshman year of high school.”
Steve chuckles, and Eddie can’t hide the grin creeping onto his face. “Fair enough. But that was high school. I didn’t have a billion fans relying on me not to die of alcohol poisoning.”
“Nah, just the six hundred Hawkins High students. Big whoop!” Eddie emphasizes his point with a show of jazz hands. “Either way. If I’m gonna talk to them, I’m gonna be drunk when I do it.” Eddie gulps down his second drink in one go, feeling the effects of the alcohol starting to kick in.
“Whatever, dude. You wanna go play some cards?” Steve offers his hand, and Eddie takes it begrudgingly, yanking himself away from the bar and into the mass of the crowded casino. He’s forced to squeeze by you, apologizing under his breath as he brushes against your back, sidestepping between the tables. You don’t seem to notice. He takes his place next to Gareth, and Steve stands firmly between him and you, a bridge neither of you dare to cross. Eddie feels your eyes on him, and it takes everything inside of him not to look back. Instead, he’s dealt into the next hand, planning only to play one round as a distraction from your presence. The waiter drops off another round of drinks, and Eddie slaps his palm on the table. “Deal me in.”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Steve yanks on an objecting Eddie’s arm, hauling him away from the table. He’s already lost a good chunk of change, both at the table and to the expensive drinks he’s been gulping down. Despite his objections, Steve manages to drag Eddie out of the casino unscathed.
“Here,” Steve sticks a cigarette between Eddie’s lips and lights it for him. “Sober up a little.”
Eddie plucks the lit stick from his mouth and exhales, the cool night air bathing his warm face.
“Where,” Eddie’s eyes are glassy, his vision blurring as he takes in his surroundings.
“We’re outside the casino. Waiting for the car.” Steve lights a cigarette for himself, inhaling as Eddie does the same.
“Where’s Y/n?” He realizes suddenly that he hasn’t seen you in hours.
“Back at the hotel. They left a while ago, but you didn’t want to get up. Sometime around your fourth hand, when you accused the dealer of cheating.” Eddie looks down at his feet, seeing four of them, and hums in response. “They told me to make sure I get you home safe.”
He looks back up to his friend, cautiously optimistic. “They said that?”
Steve nods, a smirk on his face. “Told me they’d kick my ass if anything happened to you. So I’m keeping my promise.” The car pulls up, and Steve opens the door for Eddie. “C’mon, in ya go.”
Eddie lets his eyes slip closed as the car starts moving, promising himself he won’t throw up on Steve. He thinks of all the ways he could possibly tell you he’s sorry, how he could start to mend the wounds he’s caused you. He’s going to, he decides, as soon as he can manage to walk on his own.
Your POV
There’s a banging on your hotel room as you’re clawing your way out of your clothes. You pull your big t-shirt on, pause Breaking The Girl, and rush to answer it. You’re expecting room service with some wine, or Steve with tomorrow’s game plan. “Coming!” You call, finally opening the door, only to be greeted by Eddie’s wobbly figure. “Oh. Hi.” You look at his nose as you speak, afraid of what would happen if your eyes were to meet his. His face is flushed from the drinking, his eyes glazed over and his hair frizzy.
“Hi. Bad time?” He looks you up and down, causing your cheeks to warm despite your blood running cold. You realize now that the shirt you’re wearing is one that once belonged to him. “I’ll, uh, go. I can um… I’ll come back later.” His speech is slurring, and you can smell the alcohol as he speaks.
“No!” You say, too quickly. “It’s okay, I’m just getting ready for bed. You wanna come in?”
Eddie hesitates, but you step aside to let him enter. He stumbles forward, placing himself gingerly in the chair across from the bed, where you sit across from him, acutely aware of your current pantsless state. “I read the interview.” Eddie starts, looking at the floor. You cross one leg over the other, waiting for him to continue. “And I’ve been listening to the album. Your album, I mean. It’s great, by the way, really fucking great.” He won’t look at you, instead focused on fiddling with his rings. You don’t respond, unsure where he’s going. “I came to say I’m sorry.”
Your eyes widen. This was the furthest thing from what you were expecting. “For what?”
Eddie slides further into the chair. “Everything. I’ve been such an asshole since the tour started. Especially to you. I wanna say I didn’t mean it, but I did. I wanted to hurt you. Flirting with all those girls, playing that fuckin’ song in front of you. I meant all of it.”
You bite your lip, unsure of how to respond. You doubt Eddie will even remember this conversation tomorrow, so you refuse to let his words convince you of anything. You don’t answer, just blink at him as he continues searching for the words to explain himself.
“I was trying to ignore it, I guess. How I felt about seeing you again. I was hiding it, and probably really poorly. I can't imagine it’s been easy for you, either, but you seem so happy. And it’s made me realize how horrible I’ve been.” He looks up from the floor then, his eyes searching yours for an answer. His face is flushed, his hair disheveled, and his lips are set in the pout that always got your heart stalling.
You clear your throat quickly, knowing it will crack under the pressure otherwise. “Eddie, it’s not your fault. You didn’t force this tour to happen. It’s an unfortunate coincidence.” He winces at your words, and you rush to correct yourself. “I mean, we didn’t know we’d see each other like this. We weren’t prepared. The way you’ve been acting, though hurtful, is completely understandable.” You want to cry. You want to throw Eddie out of your hotel room so you can sob into your pillow. But you don’t move, and neither does he.
“Why’d you leave?” He asks after a long moment of silence. “What happened to us?”
You know he’s drunk, and you shouldn’t be indulging him, but you’ve wanted to say so much to him since breaking it off, and you’re still a bit tipsy. “I was losing you. To groupies, to the label, to whatever you had become, and I didn’t think it was fair to fight it. This is all you’ve ever wanted, all we ever talked about when we were together. And you got it! The only thing you ever wanted. And I am beyond proud of you, Eddie. Who was I to pull you away from it? I couldn’t hold you back from this, but I couldn’t live in the background either. I couldn’t make you choose between me and your dream, so I chose for you.” Your voice falters as you explain, eyes threatening to spill the tears they harbor. “You deserve everything you ever want, Ed. I truly believe that.” You don’t tell him you still wish he wanted you.
Eddie is less than graceful in his response. “I would’ve chosen you. Over and over again, Y/n. I wish I hadn’t made you feel like you were my backup, my plan B. I lost sight of us, I know that now.” You sigh, your heart breaking as he speaks. Years ago, it’s all you wanted to hear. But it’s too little, too late now. “It got to my head, having you and getting signed. I felt like I could have it all. It got overwhelming, and I didn’t realize what I was doing to you. You were right to leave, and I’m so sorry it took me this long to figure it out. I blamed you for my misery when I caused all of it myself.”
You get up from the bed, and approach Eddie, kneeling beside the chair so he’s forced to look at you. “I appreciate the apology, Ed. I know you mean it. But I needed to leave for my own sake, too. I couldn’t keep competing with you, with all of the attention you were getting. I needed to focus on my own dreams, and I couldn’t convince you to root for me the way I had for you. Now that I’m here, I’m glad it happened this way. I wouldn’t have gotten here any other way.” You rest your hand on his knee, and you feel a drop fall from his cheek onto your finger. “You’ll always be special to me. I need you to know that.”
Eddie nods, sniffling. You stand up and offer him your hand. He takes it hesitantly, and you feel the familiarity of his calloused fingers entwined with yours. You can’t bring yourself to let go as he gets to his feet, missing the way his skin feels on yours. “Let’s get you back to bed, yeah?” You lead him out of your room and down the hall. “You got your key?”
Eddie clumsily pats his many pockets before finding his key card in his vest. He swipes it, and you pull him into the messy room, the bed unmade, empty beer bottles lining the nightstand and entertainment center. Eddie collapses onto the bed, and you get to work yanking his shoes off the way you used to after a long night out. He’s still in his jeans, but you don’t make a move to take them off. He’s not yours to take care of anymore, and if he wakes up uncomfortable, it’s not your problem. “Okay. Goodnight, Eddie.” You’re about to leave when you hear him whisper something. “What was that?” You don’t want to believe what you think you heard, but he says it again, clearer this time. “I’d still choose you.” You press your lips together, stifling your sobs as you close the door behind you. You can’t bring yourself to believe him.
chapter viii
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Preview for HOMD Chapter 10
Hey folks! I am very tired and still pretty sick but! I know not how to rest if I am physically able to work soooo. Let's just blame my capricron sun. But now we present! HOMD chapter 10! This is, again, a joint effort with @mocheng-gusto!
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Shen Yuan was reminded of this last unfortunate fact as he turned off his fifth alarm and read the notification to his most recent message.
✂️: Don’t forget to bring a certain special someone to our date today~ 
Fuck. Shen Yuan had completely forgotten about that part.
Not about the lunch of course. Yesterday he had been psyching himself up to “meet the family”. He was nervous but not anxious as he was putting together the outfit Mei Kexin had specifically made him buy for this occasion.
And just then was when his package arrived.
Alright yes, he had to admit that after that all other thoughts had exited his brain like an emergency evacuation. But by then he was too out of it thinking of silicone heavenly pillars to do anything but the most mundane tasks to keep himself busy!
Nothing to do about that. Fortunately at some point in the past when he’d been more mindful he’d put enough alarms to make sure he’d wake up with plenty of time to get ready, so he had time for a thorough shower and a quick breakfast, but not for anything more.
He would’ve liked to go on a jog to free himself of any restless energy but… thinking about it, he didn’t think his body would be able to take the impact. 
His musings were interrupted by his phone pinging with two new messages.
✂️: And don’t even think you can get out of bringing your man 
✂️: Remember how much blackmail material I have and won’t hesitate to use ❤️ 
Right.
That was the detail he hadn’t accounted for so far. Luo Binghe couldn’t come for quite obvious reasons, and it wasn’t like he had any desires to fess up that he was dating, married, to a mind construct, but he had other options. He’d disappoint his friend and her girlfriend no matter what, but Shen Yuan didn’t want to completely ruin their afternoon. 
Good thing he had a Plan B in mind. The problem was that he never informed his Plan B of his participation in this ruse.
No time like the present! Shen Yuan called Shang Qinghua as he was getting rid of all the gross beddings and towels.
The call was picked up on the third ring. “Bro?”
“Free food.” Best to start with his strongest cards. “I’m inviting you to lunch, with plenty of leftovers to bring home.”
Shang Qinghua was silent for a few seconds. “… Are you bribing me?”
Technically. “Are you coming or not?”
“Aww, no need to be so shy about it bro. If you were feeling lonely you could’ve just said so!” Sensing Shen Yuan’s silence as an impatient one, Shang Qinghua was quick to add. “But sure, why not.”
Shen Yuan discreetly let out a sigh of relief. “I’m sending a Didi to your place. You have twenty minutes to get yourself decent and finish whatever you’re doing.”
Shang Qinghua mumbled. “Every day you’re becoming more like your brother.”
“What did you just say?”
“Nothing! Just send me the info and I’ll be down when it arrives.”
“Alright. I’ll meet you there.” 
“Whe–” Shen Yuan hung up before he was able to get the full word out. He had a couple of cars to order and a cold shower waiting for him.
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Shen Yuan, because the shopping center was actually closer to downtown due to the somewhat upscale nature of the place, got there first. Shang Qinghua wasn’t too far behind, climbing out of the didi with eyes and something like fear on his face. “Bro, what the fuck?”
“Wardrobe,” Shen Yuan said before grabbing his friend’s arm and pulling him in, putting the little strength he had worked to build to use. “Don’t worry; I’m paying.”
“No shit you’re paying!” Shang Qinghua hissed. “I can’t afford to breathe in here. What the actual fuck is going on? Are you becoming my sugar daddy? Platonic, of course; love you but not like that, bro.”
“Tch, you wish. Besides, I’m straight. I’m just paying for stuff today so don’t question it.”
“What kind of lunch are we going to that apparently requires shopping?!” Shang Qinghua asked quietly, eyes darting from side to side as if a nervous herbivore. Shen Yuan locked eyes with a sales associate in the men’s section and, spotting a sale, the person discretely hurried towards them. “Oh, my God, are you taking me to lunch with your family!? Is Shen Jiu going to be there!?! Bro, I’m noping out of the free food offer if that’s the–”
“No, it’s not with my family, sheesh,” Shen Yuan said through clenched teeth before smiling at the sales associate. In a much more polite tone, he addressed them with, “Hi. My friend here needs appropriate semi-casual attire for brunch. We have a rather immediate deadline and would appreciate your assistance.”
“Of course, sir. If sir could please follow me…” Shang Qinghua was too polite to his fellow service worker to resist their urging, but he did throw Shen Yuan a dirty look as he left him alone. He watched from a distance to be sure that Shang Qinghua didn’t pick anything out that was ridiculous but otherwise left him to it, helpfully avoiding the questions his friend had about this ‘lunch’.
He would find out soon enough as it was.
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azurecrystalz · 1 year
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[Translation] A Story that is Mine Alone (Mika FS2) / Chapter 1
Lunch Recess
Mao: (I was checking all my messages from "HoldHands" and I didn't realize it had gotten this late. I really don't feel like going to get something to eat from the cafeteria--)
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Mao: --Huh? My bad, Kagehira. Looks like something fell off the desk when I walked by you. Is this a design sketch?
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Mika: Nnah, I'm the one who's sorry. I was the one spreading things all over your desk, sorry for bothering you.*
Mao: Nono, you really don't need to apologize, since I was the one that dropped it. At any rate, what are you even spreading out all your design sketches...? There's ribbons, beads, and stuff too.
Mika: Nn, well...I'm preparing things for the "Feature Live" right now.
Mao: Fumu, do you mean you're making props for the live?
Mika: Right. I went and asked Anzu-chan if I could make the costume and props for the live. I'm kind of nervous being up on the stage on my own, so I'd want to do what I can.
Arashi: When I heard those words from Mika-chan, I was so moved~
Mao: Woah, Arashi?!
Arashi: Hi there, Mao-chan. Sorry for the bother.
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Mika: Naru-chan! Did you come here to check up on me?
Arashi: Yep! You told me yesterday that you had trouble with something, so I was wondering what happened afterwards.
Mika: I was able to finish the prop with no problem and now its back at the dorm. With Naru-chan's help and advice, I managed to shape it up. Thanks a bunch...~
Arashi: Ufufu! That's great to hear. Apart from that, what are you working on now?
Mika: This is the costume's accessory. So far, I think it looks pretty good.
Mao: Umm? From the sounds of it, Arashi seems like she's been supporting Kagehira's progress this whole time.
Arashi: But of course, it's a big day for my precious best friend after all. I've been his cheerleader ever since I heard that he was going to have a "feature live".
Mika: Naru-chan's been really supportive of me, so I feel really motivated. I'll be honest, I can't wait and I'm a little nervous that I won't be able to make it to the show, but I know I can give it my best. Today I'm definitely going to finish this accessory, then I'll get to working on the next prop...!
Mao: You're really fired up~, I'll be cheering for you too. Buuut, when comparing the sketches and the physical product, isn't it different from "Valkyrie"s typical image?
Arashi: Well yeah, it's Mika-chan's live performance, so of course all of Mika-chan's personality will fully be on display.
Mao: Yeah, in that case it looks super-fresh...I don't know how to word it, but it's good.
Mika: Ehehe, it'd make me really happy if I can make something that people will view that way. Since I've been thinking a bunch about what a stage decorated with my own special art would look like...There's no way I could leave anything unfinished or careless. All I want is to take the best I can do, and create something that will reach the hearts of the people that come to see it.
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Arashi: ...If Mika-chan said he could do it, then I'm positive he can. If there's anything you want me to help you with, then please ask me.
Mika: Yeah. Thanks a bunch, but it's good enough to have your suggestions and you watching me. I'll give it my all and make everything for the performance.
Mao: ? Did someone's stomach rumble, just now?
Arashi: Don't ask me. Are you hungry, Mao-chan?
Mao: Well, either way I was gonna buy something but...nn? Kagehira, what're you looking away for?
Mika: Th...that was my stomach. Auuugh, that's so embarrassing! After all of that passion and presentation!
Arashi: Ufufu, maybe you were too concentrated and got distracted. I think I can pay for Mika-chan's lunch so I can lend him a hand.
Mao: Kagehira, what do you want to eat that's being offered right now? I was gonna go and take Arashi with me too.
Mika: Naa, you two don't have to trouble yourselves...!
Yuzuru: Then, why not eat something made by me?
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Mika: Yuu-kun?!**
Arashi: Yuzuru-chan, why are you cooking?
Mao: Oh, I see. It's because a few ingredients from the "DIY cooking course" are going to expire soon right?
Yuzuru: That's right. Even though there was a student council report, I supposed there was a small chance that some students wouldn’t chose the "DIY course" before the ingredients expired. Therefore, after hearing what you all were saying, I figured I'd use them myself.
Mika: U-umm, thanks...but are you sure?
Arashi: It would make it so there's no food wasted, so why don't you just accept the kind gesture? If he's cooking from scratch, then he'll be able to make something that suits Mika-chan's tastes.
Yuzuru: Since I've already made you lunchboxes before, I already know your preference in regards to food. Please leave this to me~
Mao: I'm sure the student council will be grateful. I'd honestly be happy eating anything you craft up.
Yuzuru: Ufufu. Now then, please wait a few moments. I'll bring the food here to you when it's finished.
Mika: Y-yeah...sorry, everyone. For making you all do all these things for my sake.
Mao: You want to get that prop done by the end of the day right? I'm gonna go give Yuzuru a hand, so you keep at it, Kagehira!
Arashi: Everyone here wants to cheer you on, Mika-chan. For that reason, at times like this you say "thank you".
Mika: Yeah...thank you, really. I'm gonna give it even more of my all to make something good for everyone!
That evening
Ritsu: (...Oya? We found Mika-rin's bags ahead of us~ Back in our room, I saw lots of items that he's been making for his "feature live" coming up. I'll hold some for him because he's my dormmate.)
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Ritsu: Mika-riiin~
Mika: Ritsu-kun!
Ritsu: Are you going back to the dorms? I am too, so I'll carry some things.
Mika: Eh, are you sure? These are full of fabric from the art room, so they're pretty heavy.
Ritsu: It's fiiiine, its fine. Two people are better than one, and three people are better than two. The load will be a lot lighter at that point. So let's work together and take it easy in order to conserve energy.
Mika: Three...?
Ritsu: Oiiii~ is that Corgi I see walking over there? Mika-rin's got trouble because he's carrying a lot of stuff, so help us come carry it~
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Koga: Ahn? What's up with you?
Ritsu: You were on your way back too anyways, Corgi. Because of that, make yourself useful for Mika-rin, who's been working really hard for his "feature live" coming up.
Koga: I don't get it. Well, it's obvious you've got a lot of stuff, so I guess I'll help you carry it...
Mika: Naah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all the baggage!
Koga: Don't be so worried, we're all headed to the same place. I'll take this heavy bag and...I'll take that bag for you.
Ritsu: Corgi could be so handsome. So then, Mika-rin, I'll pick up that handbag of yours.
Mika: Y-yeah...thanks, you two~....
next chapter →
(*): I'm not really a ValkyrieP so I'm unfamiliar with how translators write out Mika's accent, and just in general I find it really hard to write out accents. To avoid confusing myself I kept it plain and easy, so please forgive leaving it out ^^;
(**): The way Mika refers to Yuzuru. I'm putting this here because I forgot that's what Mika called him so I had to go back and check the wiki and I'm telling myself I'm not the only one that forgot to make myself feel better.
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boyswanna-be-her · 11 months
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Let me preface this by saying that I'm recounting all of this kind of mundane shit about BFR for myself because guaranteed I'm going to be trying to understand/recap this narrative while im lonely in colorado. And honestly I know it's gonna be easy for me to forget details and second-guess shit that feels so obvious to me in the moment. So if you don't want a blow by blow of this absolutely PG romantic relationship, just skip this one for now.
Today was really nice and the first day in a little while where I haven't had anything pressing to do. It was pouring at the clinic today--has been all week. Yesterday I sat in my front seat w BFR and we smoked a joint together and made fun of the one wet protester until the rain passed. Great morning.
We had lunch together at one of my favorite taco spots in my old neighborhood, and then we had to walk back to the thai place where we ate dinner the night before bc they'd left their sunglasses behind. We went to a coffee shop for a while where they patiently waited for me to be done with a working meeting on my laptop. Then we took a walk in the park in between rain. It was just seamless, idk. There's no question that we'll go do the next thing together. When the rain wouldn't let up at the park, I suggested we go to one of my fave places in the city, and I drove us to a giant used bookstore that was a few miles away.
I didn't realize until we got there that they'd never been before!! I try to take everyone I can there if they're from out of town, and it is ABSOLUTELY my favorite place to both take a new date and have a special date with an established partner. I don't feel guilty about taking basically everyone I've ever dated there--a good date is a good date. There's a lot of built-in conversation to be had and it's easier than a bar and free to wander around. We accidentally killed an enormous amount of time there, and we shot the shit about 20th century history which is my jam, so amazing to talk abt it w someone who can hang, READS, and doesn't have anything to prove in terms of static knowledge recall.
We hung out for a little while but they had yoga and I wanted to head home so we split up after that and it felt... weird? Like it always feels like there's this last step we are missing to our goodbyes. They forced a hug one time when we were saying goodbye from the clinic, but it was really early on and RIGHT when I was coming to terms with being attracted to them (like second time seeing them after having the realization) which means I was in ultra robot mode, and also assumed it was one-sided and they were just trying to be nice. Like I literally think I did a one arm side hug and they were so dejected they never tried again. Now we're weeks later and it feels weird that we're not kissing goodnight or something.
But I had the evening to myself and finally broke down and talked to someone from my real life about them. He was very affirming that I'm not insane, and just recapping the timeline to someone made it make more sense in my mind. I didn't even have to present half of my evidence for my friend to say yeah, that's going in A Direction. I just second guess it all for a variety of reasons, but for example when I screenshotted a text and sent it as evidence that I feel like they text me like a coworker sometimes, my friend pointed out that nobody in the history of neutral coworkers has ever crafted such a long and careful text. Which. Touche.
This morning we were back out at the clinic bright and early. My friend was supposed to join us but she couldn't at the last minute. Instead she dropped into the chat and asked if someone could fill in for her. If I didn't feel like we were already attracting attention (spoiler: we are), i would've REALLY preferred to jump in and say "noooo worries, no third wheel needed please." But we are getting a little visible. So I didn't. And BFR's friend jumped in to take my friend's place volunteering with us.
I ended up being really happy the friend was there though! The two of us are more like a couple when there IS a third person there, although the vibe can be a lot to navigate sometimes and I often have to shut down and take some time to myself. It wasn't unwelcome to have him there though. It makes the vibe between me & bfr more apparent, pronounced, whatever. We already have such a shorthand in common which 😍 wrow, communication fluency.
I invited his friend to lunch with us, and he accepted, and it was fun--I took them to my favorite Greek place which is legit like three blocks from the clinic.
Friend went on his way, the two of us moved to the next location: their favorite spot to work. I also love this location bc you can watch the afternoon rain and vape furiously on the porch without getting wet. Like I said, today was the first day in a while where neither of us had much to do in the way of work. They have been threatening to inflict their favorite board game on me for a while now, and it finally happened today. I am notoriously uninterested in board games (more like bored games amiright) but the combo of my biggest fan being excited to teach/compliment me on how AMAZING i am at it (rofl lying but ok) and the inherent fun of the game meant that I, uh, had a lot of fun, unfortunately.
We did two REALLY close rounds, and in the second game they almost fully missed a work call they had at 7:00 (I remembered bc i am insane but I also didn't mention it until 6:50 bc I thought maybe they were goofing on me and pretending like they'd lost track of time). Turns out they had been planning on muting and barely looking at the meeting anyway bc they didn't wanna stop playing--which is flattering but I'm also like "[Redacted], i already very much want the best for you, INCLUDING not becoming completely codependent and risking your living bc im so charming and fun" so there was a lot of me pausing the play and asking about the meeting.
By the time that was over, we were already butting up against the time we were supposed to meet their friends to lift tonight. We hadn't eaten dinner but they offered to feed me at their place which was perfect. We went straight back and holy shit their homemade leftovers were delicious.
Their friends came on time to lift and the first thing out of the mouth of the one who knows me better was "you and [redacted] have really been spending a lot of time together huh?" The two of us made eye contact and kinda laughed and BFR said "yep" and both made the 😬 face and the friend wouldn't let it go and repeated "you guys spend all day together now..." and my 😬 face couldn't get any more intense and he said "all day... today..." i said "yep we're pretty codependent." (I'd made the same not-joke yesterday when I was very truly pointing out that I don't remember what to do with my alone time anymore, and they not-jokingly replied "yeah we've ruined each other." Which like. At least we're aware.) Only later did I realize that BFR mustve been talking to the friend about it bc I definitely wasn't and there was no public talk about it in our shared discord so 👀 bitch i see u chatting in private abt me.
Lifting was incredible as always. Their friends who are a decade younger than us and sometimes join us, sometimes don't, really crack me up and I have such a good rapport with one of the guys that I think I lift better with him around (the one who was giving us a hard time tonight). He dishes out the abuse I give him while lifting, which I love. Between him and bfr, I feel like a fucking all-star lifter in that little garage gym. They talk positively about my form when they don't even realize I can hear them. Even so, BFR will not hesitate to call me out when a lift looks bad or I need a cue.
So yeah. It's nice. Hanging out at their place, being fed, getting let in on a LOT more inner details than I got in the first months of knowing them. That's all lovely. I always try to text them and let them know when I've had a lot of fun with them, and that's just basically turned into a nightly check-in. On Sunday, I got a very coworkery (imo) message from them about enjoying our time together, thanking me for my "wonderful company," thanking me for spending so much time together, thanking me for attending so many events with them, and saying that they are "definitely down to keep hanging out in the future." At the time I felt like "that's a weirdly formal way to put all this" but getting home to tonight's much more neurotic message made it make more sense (along w the feedback from a trusted friend who makes good points). Like it was a careful message because they are being exceedingly careful with me. They know some of my more obvious damage (all the psychic sucking chest wounds are hard to ignore after a few weeks of learning about me, and i've been going out of my way to be quite "warts and all" with them). They value our time together A LOT. And the more that I understand our similarities, the more I know that they're also likely really fucking scared to endanger the chemistry of this friendship by introducing ANY other dynamic.
Im finally getting to the end here. Tumblr will probably eat this entry. I'm posting it before a full edit--RIP anyone parsing this.
But the message that I came home to tonight was FINALLY a little more vulnerable, and essentially said that if I want to spend LESS time with them, I'm going to have to tell them that straight up, and that that'll be ok, but if so they need to lnow because this is the amount of time they want to spend with me (all of it), and they don't anticipate that changing.
So! Guess I'll puke and die now! Literally spent five minutes last night considering how I could smuggle them to Colorado with me. Also I haven't had anywhere to put this but since this is an all-bfr all the time blog now, we are going to go on a trip together to chicago in August! There's an actual reason to go other than lovefest vacation (pretty much a work trip for them that I've been asked to tag along for) but as we are actually finalizing the trip plans, it definitely feels more than a little bit like we are going on a lovefest vacation. Which is all the more reason why it would be great to not be hella conspicuous (even though it's a little fun being hella conspicuous).
Like I didn't need another human to come validate my existence, but I *did* need to meet someone who could threaten the idea that I'm ready to die alone. It's nice. It's all nice!! I'm definitely not crying and throwing up!!!
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