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#this show whooo boy

kat-katharsis · 1 year

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Bojack Horseman will never cease to impress me in it's ability to make me feel massive amounts of sympathy for characters who have little to no redeeming qualities.

#Bojack Horseman #l just finished season four #whooo boy this show is a doozy #text #textpost #me #mine #show #tv show #characters #sympathy

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suspensionbridges · 2 years

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It’s beautiful to me how major criticisms of the Obi-Wan Kenobi series become meaningless as more episodes are released.

It’s almost like you shouldn’t judge a limited series as a whole before the whole thing is out.

#obi-wan kenobi #it’s not perfect but some of the biggest critiques #have been answered by the show #but whooo boy the fandom outside tumblr is toxic #god bless this hellsite #star wars nonsense

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alicepao13 · 2 years

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With apologies to the legions of Nathan Fillion haters out there (well not really) but this was the first episode of The Rookie that kept my attention the whole time in so long. Too bad Rosalind is dead because Annie Wersching is the queen of serial killer actors. Also, Nolan, you’re allowed to shoot her, goddamn your morals. You’re under duress, your girlfriend is under duress, and the serial killer herself has asked you to kill her, this is not a fucking trolley problem situation, the only thing that stopped you was your holier-than-thou attitude. And if it wasn’t going to be a “female dies because of male hero” situation I would be berating the writers for not killing Bailey to make the point that it’s okay to kill serial killers in order to save innocents.

#I will stop having unpopular takes when they start making good episodes I'm afraid #since I'm talking about this show #chris being one of rosalind's acolytes (what a word lol) would be one of the biggest cop-outs #it's a been there done that thing that I don't want to see again happen to lucy #I mean at which point does she lose hope in her own abilities to judge people if that happens to her again #also you didn't want the guilt after the first episode because of how long it would take for the situation to resolve?#whooo boy let me tell you how long the other scenario would take to get over lmao #the rookie

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martha-jones-my-beloved · 2 years

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I completely forgot that Rose shows up in the end of partners in crime and I was not ready for these emotions at 3 am

#WHOOO boy #rewatch shenanigans #rose tyler #dw #partners in crime #i mean i knew she shows up in the season in the background and then in journey's end #but MAN i forgot about this one. OW OW OW #pain #donna noble

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harrysfolklore · 9 months

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love and tour - collab post

the amazing @watchmegetobsessed teamed up once again and we came up with this story for you ! READ THIS BLURB FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THIS STORY

we hope you like this <33

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

2010

liked by username1, username2 and 77 others

yourinstagram good luck harry on your x factor audition ! i know you don’t have instagram but i want to say that i’m proud of you and i believe in you <33

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username1 good luck harry !!

username2 holmes chapel comp believes in harry <3

username3 goooo harry!! :p

liked by username1, username2 and 209 others

xfactorupdates A new boy group was formed tonight with boys that didn’t make it to the next round. Their names are: Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne

view all 25 comments

username1 cuties ! i’m ready to support them

username2 that harry boy is so adorableee

yourinstagram i’m so proud of you harry !! good luck and congratulations boys <3

2013

liked by niallhoran, liampayne and 819,876 others

harrystyles Picture of Oberhausen! Thank you for having us Germany. Tschüss!

view all 19,159 comments

onedirectionfan1 MY SHOOOW

onedirectionfan2 my favorite boys ever

niallhoran Yoooo!

onedirectionfan3 ❤️

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 4,826 others

yourinstagram Soon 👑

view all 278 comments

yourbestie CONGRATULATIONS ❤️

onedirectionupdates Harry liked this post !

1dfan1 OMGG WHY DID HARRY LIKE THIS

annetwist Congratulations darling 👏🏻

yourinstagram Where are this likes coming from 😳

onedirectionupdates From what we gathered, she’s an old friend of Harry’s and they probably went to high school together

2014

2019

liked by spaceykacey, alexachung and 1,692,065 others

harrystyles LIVE IN LONDON. DEC 19.

Link in Bio for details on ticket access.

view all 46,735 comments

harryfan1 OMFGGGG

alessandro_michele ❤️

harryfan2 I’LL BE THERE

harris_reed london boy

harryfan3 THIS IS SO EXCITING

liked by gemmastyles, yourbestie and 398 others

yourinstagram got a show today 🕺

view all 59 comments

username1 gorgeous ! 💗

gemmastyles Can’t wait to see you ! It’s going to be just like old times ❤️

username2 cutieeee we need to catch up

yourbestie Tell me all the details once it’s done !!

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 8,937 others

harryupdates “I have really special people with me tonight. My family is here, friends I haven’t seen in so long are here. I’m happy to have them around tonight.” - Harry in London tonight !

view all 996 comments

harryfan1 AWEEEE

harryfan2 lovey boy

harryfan3 he was so happy his family and friends were there 🥺🥺

harryfan4 MY BABYYYY

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 10,286 others

harryupdates Harry leaving the ONO afterparty tonight !

view all 1,037 comments

harryfan1 HELLO???

harryfan2 WHOOO IS THAT

harryfan3 i have so many questions rn

harryfan4 EXPLAIN

liked by gemmachan, yourinstagram and 2,682,138 others

harrystyles FINE LINE LIVE IN LONDON.

DEC 19 2019.

view all 40,062 comments

harryfan1 MY BABYYY

lizzobeeating 💗

harryfan2 best show ever i cried the entire time

yourinstagram ❤️

harryfan3 COME BACK

2020

liked by sza, yourinstagram and 6,722,835 others

harrystyles DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. Practice social distancing. Watermelon Sugar Video Out Now.

view all 130,233 comments

harryfan1 BEST VIDEO EVER !!!

yourinstagram SUMMER ANTHEM !! 🧡

jefezoff 🙌🏻🙌🏻

harryfan2 this deserves to be a #1 hit

liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 6,804 others

yourinstagram quarantine diaries 🤍

view all 956 comments

yourbestie i miss youuuuu so much

harryfan1 IS THAT HARRY??

annetwist ❤

harryfan2 yall are clowning that's not harry

↳ harryfan3 i know my man when i see him

↳ harryfan4 well he even liked this

2021

liked by columbiarecords, hshq and 5,416,825 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Las Vegas, NV.

view all 105,016 comments

gucci ❤️

harryfan1 HES FINALLY BACK

yourinstagram 🤩

harrystyles liked this comment

↳ harryfan4 huh harry liked this comment

harryfan2 MY BABYYYY

liked by annetwist, harrystyles and 8,936 others

yourinstagram and so the adventure begins 🕺 💗on tour

view all 986 comments

yourbestie YAY 🤩

annetwist Have fun !!

harryfan1 is this a crew member ?

pillowpersonpp ❤️❤️

harryfan2 so harry knows how to use instagram

harryfan3 my question about who this girl is remain unanswered

TWITTER

2023

liked by annetwist, harrystyles and 20,836 others

yourinstagram 💗 ON TOUR, FOREVER.

when this tour started, harry and i were still brand new, this was a new world for me and one thing i was sure about is that i want to be by his side for every minute of it.

now that it’s coming to an end, i can’t help but feel incredible proud of the man that i get to call my fiancé and the one i’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

i love you, harry. i’m in constant awe of you and everything you do, thank you for letting me share every milestone with you.

view all 5,926 comments

harryfan1 OMFGGGG😭😭😭

jefezoff My babies.

harryfan2 I LOVE THEM SO BAD

harrystyles Some things are just meant to be. I love you x

↳ harryfan3 THIS IS FIANCÉ HARRY SPEAKING I CANT FR

↳ harryfan4 awe the definition of friends to lovers this is so cute

liked by sza, yourinstagram and 4,927,268 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Reggio Emilia. July, 2023.

view all 76,826 comments

harryfan1 STOOOP😭

alessandro_michele Cheries 💗

harryfan2 THEYRE GETTING MARRIED

harryfan3 of course harry would post her and leave

yourinstagram ily soon to be hubby

↳ harryfan4 DOUBLE HOMICIDE

taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe

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yourmomxx · 5 months

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➵ angels talking - social media au | ln4 (1)

❥pairing - lando norris x fem!singer!reader (mentions of al12 x reader)

❥plot - Arthur Leclerc has been your best friend since your early childhood, you two grew up with each other and each other's families. Your closeness leads to fans suspecting there is more to your relationship, until, almost suddenly, the ball gets totally flipped

❥warnings - none, maybe ooc arthur leclerc sorry abt that

part i - the start | part ii - the number four

masterlist | requests

⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

♔꙳⋆ instagram ꙳⋆

yourusername posted a new story

formula2pics

liked by howaboutyoudont, emilyclarke and others

formula2pics @/yourusername & @/arthurleclerc outside the ‘Sweet Sugars’-Café last night in Silverstone, England, present to support Arthur’s brother, Charles Leclerc at the Formula 1 Grand Prix

Picture submitted by unknown source

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ynlnn look me in the eye and tell me they’re not in love

paddockgirl favorite couple

sidney(tv) they’re so cute together

bella.ltn supportive besties

itsbrutalouthere I just KNOW that they're dating

jojo.jpg childhood best friends to lovers, angst and fluff, 156k words slow burn

tswizzle definition of made for each other

leclersbabe arthur❤️❤️

mollym my favs

hotchswife can’t wait to see them in the paddock

itsellie anyone saw that picture in yns story if arthur?

↳ kaynwe @/itsellie omg yes he looked so good😍

↳ kellykiwi @/kaynwe the veins, the hair, the way he smiled at her?? just ugh😩

ferrariyn i’m just waiting for their relationship announcement

untitled they would be the cutest couple ever let’s be honest

exscapenight mom and dad actually

larinakali i miss them posting each other😭

yourusername

liked by formula2pics, oliviarodrigo and others

yourusername serious competitors since ‘08😎

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ynbabe new song featuring arthur??

lnfave desperately clinging to yns posts since arthur doesn’t show her on his feed😩

charthurleclerc not my favorite wag posting about my favorite driver

↳ amslerin @/charthurleclerc she’s no wag tho

suziesalmon hope you crushed him girly

↳ yourusername @/suziesalmon of course i did

tswizzle @/arthurleclerc take her as an example and give us some yn/arthur posts!!!

ynisbabe please baby arthur is so cute

carolyn she is feeding us with content

´lanadelslay this is a soft launch, actually (I'm delulu)

f1updates how much you wanna bet they were playing mario kart

paddockgirl they would be such a sweet couple tho

hazelnuts yn putting her entire soul into the karaoke while arthur doesn’t even know what to do is so funny to me

factorfic YES a new yn and arthur post, i manifested this

sabrinajenga your honor they’re in love

ferraridriveracademy

liked by arthurleclerc, frederic_vasseur1 and others

ferraridriveracademy Congrats to @/olliebearman and @/arthurleclerc on a Double Podium in Barcelona this afternoon!👏🏆

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leclersgirl whooo! arthur finally got the podium he deserved!!

hamiltonh so proud of them!

tom.oha these two are really some good drivers. i’m sure if they keep up their work they have much potential for f1!

charlesleclerc 🔥🔥

lucasclare so proud of my boys

sidney(tv) i literally screamed when they won, i’m so happy!!

interstellarfan123 that one penalty for frederick was so unnecessary

cheesestrings my two husbands

↳ suziesalmon @/cheesestrings they’re married to me wdym?

kaynwe the both worked so hard for this, i’m so glad

tangledinu sometimes i think about the fact that arthur has those huge footsteps of charles to fill, and that ollie seems to achieve everything that was expected of arthur

↳ isobella @/tangledinu that’s not fair you’re making me sad

sabrinajenga admin can you ask arthur for me where yn was today?

↳ realobama @/sabrinajenga was literally about to say the same thing

arthurleclerc

liked by olliebearman, ferraridriveracademy and others

arthurleclerc Thank you, Barcelona, for welcoming us greatly and for the support! 2nd place baby, yes!!❤️

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itsbrutalouthere arthur where is yn???

charlesleclerc such a great race man, really proud of you!🙌

lucasclare was really worried for you there in turn 7, but you managed it amazingly!!

suziesalmon why wasn’t yn in the paddock this weekend?

bimess you deserve this so much arthur!!

arthurfave can’t wait to be there live in abu dhabi

factorfic yn didn’t even like what’s happening

↳ hotchswife @/factorfic her phone probably fell in a river and that’s why she doesn’t have access to instagram (i’m delulu)

leclersbabe i am so happy for you!!

professorproton boy you better have a good explanation why yn wasn’t there, and you better have it now🤺🤺

forzaferrari miss seeing mom😢

frederickvestiofficial well done mate!

kellykiwi happy for your win, but where is yn?

itsellie hoping mom is just busy songwriting somewhere🤭

hamiltonh none of the post-race ask the real questions! for example, what did they change about the car, or WHERE THE HELL IS YN

ynbabe mom and dad are going through their divorce era?

f1news

liked by howaboutyoudont, lanadelslay and others

f1news YN YLN, famous singer and actress is reportedly in a close relationship with a Formula Racing Driver, a source claims - it is not revealed who it is. Fans have been asking themselves many questions after the long weeks of radio silence between childhood best friends YN YLN and Arthur Leclerc, the Ferrari Pilot for Formula 2

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reidbabe guys, i think this is it

hslot_forreal if it’s not Arthur i might throw myself in front of a car

tswizzle i’m conflicted i want it to be arthur so bad but at the same time their media hasn’t seemed right to me for ages now

liladonavan manifesting arthur x yn

ferrariyn that source better come clean i can’t take all this anticipation any more👏👏

↳ larinakali @/ferrariyn real.

sylviestone “dating a racing driver, won’t tell you who tho”

↳ jojo.jpg @/sylviestone😭😭

ynn1fan off topic but that’s a great picture of her

hannamountana no because i don’t know, i want it to be arthur so bad but at the same time idk mann

↳ emilyzkn @/hannahmountana i totally agree especially with her posting so much of him but him never posting her like what is going on there

↳ papayagirl @/emilyzkn their relationship has been off for such a long while tbh

exscapenight hoping arthur made a move before someone else did

↳ peppyi @/exscapenight no because watch someone else pulling her away from under arthur’s feet just because he was being a coward

yourusername

liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others

yourusername paddock days🧡

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ferrarifan1 GIRL

landonorrizzzzzzz am i tripping or is that the wrong team???

maxfewtrell thought i saw a gremlin on the grid today🤔

↳ urfafdaydreamer @/maxfewtrell LMAO MAX WHAT

↳ yourusername @/maxfewtrell didn’t know they had mirrors all over the paddock??

↳ untitled @/yourusername what’s happening.

ynisbabe you’re so stunning

ynn1fan MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE MAILMAN

↳ leclersgirl @/ynn1fan THE MAILMAN IM CRYING

christiek 🧩🧩

therealobama nuh uh this feels wrong

charthurleclerc why weren’t you at arthur’s race??

sabrinacarpenter aah my love

ynwife girl is so pretty i can’t

tswizzle this is not the ferrari box??

strongandeuropean what are you doing at mclaren?

emilyzkn “reportedly dating a racing driver”

↳ hannahmountana @/emilyzkn i wish i understood math this fast

lucadevil papaya looks good on her

norisswife Is that Oscar in the likes that I see????

lanadelslay excited where this is going, honestly

♔꙳⋆ twitter ꙳⋆

♔꙳⋆ instagram ꙳⋆

landonorris

liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others

landonorris paddock days

view all comments

oscarpiastri oh man

ynlnnn nuh uh

therealdannyric explanation??

norriswife he’s so beautiful

lnfave lando side profile >>>

ynisbabe guys is this it??

formula1obsessed last lap lando? more like kat SLIDE lando

lastlaplando oh my god if this is yn i will actually scream

33maxverstappen that backside looks very familiar to me…

↳ melany @/33maxverstappen that must sound so strange out of context

carlaarcher this can’t be a coincidence

getthismanachair lando who is that??🎤

norisswife first Oscar in yn's likes and now Sabrina in Lando's?? what are the besties doing here?!

andystricks caption looks awfully familiar

itsbrutalouthere praying for a statement in these desperate times🙏

urfavdaydreamer soft launch??

hardlyanything lando let me see your spotify wrapped please👀

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, lukehemmings and others

yourusername with great dread i have to announce that i, indeed, fell in love with a man- and also, that this picture was taken right after the first date

tagged: landonorris

view all comments

landonorris i can almost feel your love for me through that caption😍

↳ yourusername @/landonorris 😙😙

sabrinacarpenter babes

oscarpiastri guess we won't hear the end of this ever

↳ danielricciardo @/oscarpiastri I will help you through this, mate

danielricciardo run as long as you can yn, i promise i won’t tell him where you went

↳ hannahmountana @/danielricciardo LMAO DANNY

oliviarodrigo so cute!!

kathrynnewton

emilyzkn NO WAY

lanadelslay LETs GO GIRL

ynlnn THE SONGS GUYS I REPEAT THE SONGS

lilli(taylor's version) NEW FAVORITE WAG

landonorrizzzzzzz ARTHUR LECLERC WHO IS ARTHUR LECLERC I ONLY KNOW LANDO NORRIS

kellypiquet so excited to see you in the paddock more often😍😍

howaboutyoudont Lando noRIZZ what a LIEEEEEE

jojo.jpg gurl you so lucky!!!

hotchnerswife we're getting boyfriend Lando I can't believe it

f1news wish you all the best!!

suziesalmon the way she looks at him i. can. not.

↳ iknewyouweretrouble @/suziesalmon girly fell hardddd

charthurleclerc literally my two worlds colliding i can't breathe

bella.ltn caption so true

tswizzle they already feel like such a power couple i cannot

kathrynamy HARDEST LAUNCH TO EVER HARD LAUNCH

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fandangotales · 2 years

Note

Head empty just

Sagau but readers cellphone now has infinite battery for some reason and theyre on tiktok and watching genshin edits until one of the acolytes sees and gets curious so reader shows everyone the edits made for then

Zhongli: why am i........geo grandpa

Xiao: morax isn't my father

Yae: what is an........Eiussy and why do these humans want it so bad

Venti: (trying to force scara to have anemo vision after seeing the sad scaramouche edits) BUT THE EDITS, YOUR BACKSTORY IS SCREAMING AIR BOY!!!

Scara: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!!

WHOOO MY FIRST REQUEST ASK!!!

anyways-

When I tell you that a phone in TEYVAT would be absolute chaos… I mean it.

I can 99% guarantee you that Albedo has asked to experiment on what he refers to as Their Grace’s “strange device.”

(Please keep your phone away from him, as it will not make it out of his lab intact.)

Other acolytes who aren’t as curious about HOW and WHY it works may find interest on seeing you use your device to watch videos.

The people of Teyvat aren’t familiar with advanced technology, so I’d assume it’s fair to say that they would treat your phone as a Divine Object, comparable to the Anemo Archon’s Holy Lyre.

Since you are The Creator, it would be valued a lot more.

Nobody, not even one of the Archons, is allowed to touch such a holy object. Such a thing would be viewed as incredibly disrespectful. How could any of them, lowly acolytes, have the audacity to come into contact with your beloved “phone”?

Now, assuming that the reader can still watch Tik Toks, of course they would like to share some of them with certain characters, because why not?

Also, why wouldn’t you let them in on some of the jokes that are popular in the Genshin Fandom?

If Zhongli knew that he was referred to as “Geo Grandpa” I think his reaction would be one of initial shock.

“What does the title ‘Geo Grandpa’ indicate, Divine One?”

After a little explanation from you, I think he’d catch on. He is aware of his age, after all.

Others may think that the title “Grandpa” is offensive towards a former archon of all things, but he doesn’t mind as long as you are the one saying it. The term “Grandpa” is often used between mortals in a family, so does this mean that you considered him as family?

Whenever you call him by that name, you can expect to see a soft smile across his features.

When Xiao discovered that the fandom considers his relationship with Morax to be one of father and son, he was speechless for a good minute.

You gave him a look, trying to suppress your laughter.

“So…? You’re not denying it.”

He huffed, crossing his arms. “Morax is not my father.”

You wheezed, clearly amused by his flustered expression. Xiao was avoiding your gaze, clearly trying his best to convince you that he did not see the older man as a father figure.

The term “Eiussy” was completely unknown to the Lady Guuji… until she joined you in watching the short films know as “Tik Toks” on the magical screen of the divine “phone”

Now, Yae Miko is quite clever, so it was only natural that she would grasp the concept of what “Eiussy” meant.

She watched a few videos which featured similar titles, such as “Tartussy”, “Scarussy”, and “Kokussy”. All of them played a key role in her eventual understanding of just what exactly “Eiussy” meant.

The very moment she learns the true meaning, I can guarantee you that she will casually bring it up in conversation.

“Your Grace, you would be welcome at Watatsumi Island anytime!” Gorou beams, waving goodbye to you from the docks of Ritou.

The Watatsumi ship had finally arrived, after a lengthy delay following your business meeting with the Inazuman Officials.

“Thank you, Gorou.” You started to say… but the ever famed doggy general had already boarded the ship, and was out of your sight.

“Hmm…” a recognizable voice trailed, as her hand lightly touched your shoulder. Miko gave you a knowing look. “I guess he wanted to get some of that Divineussy”

Your expression remained blank.

“Perfect use of that title.” You praised, staring after the ship, as it departed into the sunset.

If and when Venti saw all of the sad Scaramouche edits… let’s just say that you’d have to physically restrain him.

Restrain him from making his way over to the Balladeer as soon as possible, that is.

Scaramouche would just be doing Fatui work, maybe trying to convince the recruits that the stars are indeed a lie…

And… bam.

A random ass bard pops up out of nowhere.

“Good day! Would you be interested in gaining an anemo vision?”

“What the fuck.”

#cultau #sagau #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #genshin cult au #genshin crack #genshin sagau #venti #zhongli #genshin xiao #scaramouche

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amethystia1208 · 7 months

Text

One Piece Men As Fathers

Part two here

Monkey D. Luffy

Luffy as a father….whooo boy

Is most likely more of a boy dad than a girl dad, but if he does have daughters, he wouldn’t mind at all.

He will fight your children for food. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t. They may be his kids, but it’s also his food.

He will also forget that he even has kids sometimes. It would go something like this: “Luffy, have you seen the baby?” “Eh? What baby?” “Our baby, Luffy! Your son/daughter!” “Oooooooh, that baby! Yeah I left them with Zoro.” “And where’s Zoro?” “Knowing him, he could be anywhere!”

You don’t leave him alone with the baby after that.

Ability to cheer baby up is a solid 8.5/10. With his Devil Fruit, he can stretch his face into the most absurd expressions and the baby will be laughing and happy in no time flat.

Roronoa Zoro

Just from the way he is with Chopper, you can already tell he’d be a good dad.

He’s definitely very overprotective, no matter what gender your child is, he makes it his life mission to protect them.

Will take regular naps with the baby, and doesn’t mind being woken up by them if they get upset.

Gives them a baby sized sword when they’re old enough to hold it, much to the protests of the more logically minded Straw Hats (i.e. Nami, Jimbe, Robin, Sanji)

However, despite his strong qualities, he is not the worlds most perfect father.

For instance, your kid gets hurt? “Take a swig of this, you’ll forget all about it.” He says, holding out a bottle of sake.

You slap him for that.

Zoro’s ability to cheer baby up varies, I’d say. I’d go with maybe a 6/10

Vinsmoke Sanji

He is a girl dad. But will not be opposed to boys.

He strives to be both the perfect husband, and father, so you better believe that his kids are getting all the love from their dad.

One of your kids is a picky eater? He will figure out just what they like and make it exactly how they want it. He’ll even let them come into the kitchen with him and show him exactly how they want it.

Will not hesitate to spoil your children rotten. You practically have to reign him in every time he sees something he thinks they would like. And then you have to listen to the “But Y/n-chan! Think of how happy they would be!”

Just say no. He will charm you into bankruptcy if you don’t.

Will plan elaborate tea parties with his child, and will also get you to participate.

Will definitely teach the baby to hate Zoro from an early age, so you know exactly who to blame when your child points at said male and babbles “Marimo!”

Sanji has a proud Papa moment, before you whack him on the head.

Ability to cheer baby up is a 7.5/10. With the way he cooks, no one can stay upset for too long.

God Ussop

You’d better believe that your kids are getting the best story times ever with Usopp as their dad. He will spin the best stories, do all the voices, and even include his kids in the story.

At lease one of his kids gets his nose. The genetics are too strong.

He’s the best at doing his kids hair. No matter how long it may take, he will sit there and figure it out.

He has taught his children his “fight or flight” way of life, and they secretly judge him for it.

Like Zoro, gives them a baby sized slingshot, and everyone blames him once your child starts shooting at people.

His ability to cheer baby up is 4/10. In a stressful situation, Usopp has been known to blow things out of proportion, so that combined with an upset baby doesn’t really do anything good.

#one piece #vinsmoke sanji x reader #zoro roronoa x reader #ussop x reader #luffy x reader #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #monkey d. luffy #god usopp #headcannons

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onmyyan · 1 year

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Sharing is Caring (2/3)

A/N:OKAY BABES ITS HERE AHHHAGGH SO EXCITED THIS TOOK AGES BEC LIFE N SHIT BUT ANYWAY WHOOO SO EXCITED Anyway few things, this chapter gets kinda steamy but all the explicit smuts will be in part 3 its gonna be pure filth, after editing this mf came out to 28.3 pages and 10,275 words so I had to split it up, for those of you disappointed by the lack of horny never fear, the smut chapter is about 60% done and as soon as I post this I'm going back to working at it anyway please enjoy hope you like it!! feedback is welcome. Mi amada = My beloved

TW'S: YANDERE, KIDNAPPING, WEED MENTION, PAST MURDER MENTION

To say your day had been a bad one would have been putting it lightly.

It started out fine enough, you awoke to several of your usual good mornings, each Delmont had their own unique way of greeting you, and after taking the time to sleepily respond to each of them, you started your morning routine, fighting the urge to fall back into the warmth of your bed, your eyes struggled to remain open.

See you'd spent the better half of last night scrolling through your personal feeds, hours upon hours of cute couples blaring their love in your face, blatant affection everywhere you looked, shameless PDA, and grand romantic gestures.

The tooth-rotting fluff didn't usually bug you, but something about this particular onslaught of romance brought out this tidal wave of loneliness and envy.

It felt murky and heavy and you hated every second of it.

The five Delmont boys had grown into your found family, and usually, their antics didn't allow you the space to feel alone, but even that immense affection couldn't fill the hole that had steadily begun to grow in your chest.

Years upon years of no one showing genuine romantic interest in you had slowly but surely carved out a pit of self-loathing in your gut. Something you managed to hold off being consumed by until now.

Falling in love seemed like such an expected life event, from movies to songs and stories, people falling in love were everywhere you looked, and even though the little voice in your head tried to reassure you that you were just a late bloomer, the dark thoughts still haunted you well into the morning.

Brushing your teeth with a focused vigor, your mind began to reel as you stopped to really think about it all, the state of your love life or rather, lack thereof, how you've never been in a relationship, never been on a date, hell if it weren't for Marcos, you'd have to add never been kissed to the pitiful list, the older twin had been your first and only kiss when you were seventeen, but that was just him being a good friend in your time of need, of that you were certain.

You can remember it so clearly, sitting idly in your room, still living at the Delmont house, you'd been silently stewing in your sadness for a few hours by the time he found you.

What brought on this sour mood was a few offhanded jokes at your expense, you know those people you're only 'friends' with in class? Well, one of those girls, Lisa, had teased you relentlessly for the entire hour of biology when you'd accidentally let it slip you'd never kissed someone before.

And while she may have been joking, the words still left the strangest sting in your stomach, it made you feel weird, an odd cocktail of shame and embarrassment, and it wasn't as if you didn't want to kiss someone, you just didn't have many- scratch that, any options.

No one but the boys ever talked to you at school, for some strange reason, everyone else seemed to avoid you like the plague, cruel whispers of your name said behind even crueler stares, the twins usually swooped in before you could think to question the odd looks, but it was impossible not to notice.

Marcos found you curled into a fetal position on your bed, stuffed animals surrounding you in a protective barrier, he'd originally come upstairs with the intention of collecting you for dinner, there was this unspoken rule between the boys that whoever brought you down got to sit next to you at the table, but when he entered he could practically feel your sadness hanging in the air, his brows furrowed at the sight, instantly clocking your upset mood, he quickly switched gears, his face scrunching in visible concern.

One thing about Marcos was his inability to hide how he was feeling.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he toyed with the small silver ball in his ear, his nerves on edge at the sight of that look on your face, he hated seeing you upset, all the boys did, he didn't wait for an answer before rushing the rest of the way inside, kicking the door shut with his foot.

"No Co'- I'm fine, just tired." You used his nickname, trying in vain to put on a brave face but you knew in your heart of hearts that trying to lie to a Delmont was all but impossible. "Is dinner done? I hope she made adobo again god it's so good-" You tried to get up and walk downstairs but he stopped you with a gentle push of your shoulders, gently leading you back into a seated position, he gave a comforting squeeze before letting go, now standing before you with his hands on his hips, the image made you want to laugh, he looked a lot like his mother when she was about to scold him for something.

"Nah- we ain't leaving this room till you tell me what's up."

His insistence caused you to roll your pretty (e/c) eyes at the taller male, the way you crossed your arms, paired with that damn pout on your lipgloss-lined lips was a foul combo that had his heart skipping all kinds of beats. It took all his willpower not to squish your cheeks together.

"Why do you assume something's up?"

"Cuz' I know you dummy." He said so softly, it immediately disarmed you, his hand gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and you felt your chest tighten at the action.

"I swear I'm good okay? Can we just go eat? My stomach is touching my back." Usually, by this point, your puppy-dog eyes would make him fold, he was, and still is, rather weak to your whims, but he held strong.

Flopping beside you on the bed, he shuffled to lay on his right side, making sure to maintain eye contact, his hand began toying with one of his longer necklaces, his red eyes rolling as he spoke, "Mhm, right, okay. Quick question, how are you sitting there so calmly when your pants are clearly on fire?"

You gasped laughing slightly, "How dare you come into my domain and call me a liar? Have you no shame?" He smiled to himself knowing his plan to cheer you up was working, "C'moooon tell me whats wronggggg- I won't stop whining till ya fess up pleaseeeeeeee-" you threw a pillow at his head, "Okay! okay just shut up! Damn.."

You felt yourself hesitate, as if not speaking the words made them any less true.

"-Lisa kinda clowned me in class today cuz' I," the words turned to ash on your tongue, the embarrassment flushing your skin with an uncomfortable heat, to be admitting something so childish to someone as promiscuous as Marcos, felt all the more humiliating, and you didn't think you could handle him laughing at you.

"You can tell me anything Mi amada." You could hear the sincerity in the soft way he spoke, all playfulness gone.

How seriously he took your emotions managed to ease your fear of rejection enough to blurt out, "I haven't ever um- kissed anyone, and it made me feel, I dunno kinda bad I guess?" you laughed softly, that uncomfortable wave of shame echoing through your body, "She was just kiddin' around." You added that last bit knowing how overprotective he could get, god forbid he told Manny, you tried again to laugh it off, beginning to play with the ears of the blue stuffed bunny Gabe had given you years ago, the action was a wonderful alternative to holding Marcos's now burning stare.

He was quiet for a moment which was concerning since Marcos was never quiet. Suddenly sitting straight up, he ever so softly took the stuffed bunny from your hands to interlock your fingers. His intense, warm gaze held you frozen in place like a statue.

His tongue poked out to flick over his bottom lip, a nervous tick of his, and he swallowed before whispering,

"Kiss me then."

Marcos spoke it so softly, sounding so breathless. You laughed on instinct, thinking he was teasing, but when he remained silent, smiling at you like you held all the stars in the sky, you felt the heat crawl up your skin.

"Ha ha very amusing Co'-" you threw a pillow toward his chest with your free hand, "Cides' I don't want my first one to be some kinda' pity kiss from my best friend because he felt bad." Once more you played it off, trying desperately to ignore the funny feeling that had blossomed in your stomach, waiting for him to quit the game and stop the joke.

Only Marcos wasn't laughing.

"Who the fuck said anything about pity? You should know me well enough by now- I never say anything I don't mean." He leaned over, close enough where you could see the small constellation of freckles just under his eyes, you'd never noticed them before. He was far enough away not to pressure you, but the invitation was clear.

"But- we, um I-" Your mind was racing with hundreds of thoughts, and as if he sensed this, he let go of one hand to brush the hair from your face, his thumb lingering to swipe across your cheek in a feather-like touch, it felt like he had electricity in his fingertips, he stared into your eyes with an intensity you couldn't quite place.

"Don't think so hard." He smiled as he spoke, the words whispered against your lips, you were so close you could feel each of his shaky exhales, he looked back and forth from your eyes to your lips, waiting on bated breath for your response.

Allowing your eyes to flutter shut, you relaxed your posture and simply fell into the moment, now both of his hands were on your face, pulling you in that much deeper, his lips were soft and tasted faintly of cherry chapstick, one of his hands moved to cradle the back of your neck, holding you against him as he moved his mouth against yours in what felt like a well-practiced dance. His tongue swiped against your plush lips ever so slightly as you pulled away, skin flushed and hearts pounding.

He didn't allow the budding tension to take over, instead, he sat back with his familiar grin. "There, easy fix." he swiped at his lips with his thumb, sticking the appendage between his teeth in a daring display. The way you tasted, how perfect you felt in his arms, he could feel the addiction settling in, and happily surrendered himself to it.

He knew at that moment no one else would ever compare to you, to the way you made him feel. And despite how simple, the relatively innocent kiss you just shared was, it had him the hardest he'd ever been in his life, thankfully you seemed so flustered and dazed he was able to hide the tent in his pants with a well-placed pillow.

You'd both gone down to dinner after locking pinkies and swearing never to tell another soul, you assuming he simply didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about you two, but really he was covering his ass, knowing if any of the others found out he'd gotten to be your first kiss, he wouldn't be walking for a while, Gabe had promised to break both ankles if he ever touched you, a threat he knew was no joke, but to Marcos, it was well worth the risk, he hated seeing you so upset about something he could very easily change, so he did, and he couldn't be happier.

The two of you had matching, knowing smiles on your faces that night, he even shot you a wink before bed, you couldn't get the giddy feeling to go away for weeks, even though you knew it was just him being a good friend, the warmth that had blossomed couldn't be undone.

These spiraling thoughts haunted you like a ghost, that is until you looked down at your coffee pot and remembered the cute guy who slipped you his number a few days ago. Normally you'd just let the small piece of paper go unused, too afraid to make a fool of yourself to actually reach out, but today was different.

Fueled by your melancholy thoughts, you quickly texted him before you could talk yourself out of it, and it seemed to be going well, the banter was flirty enough, if nothing else it would be fun to play dress up, so you began a feverish rush to get ready, and in that time, Manny had invited himself in while you rushed through a shower.

The redhead did this often, so you didn't blink when you heard him enter in his usual brand of loud. "Oh, honey I'm home!"

"In the shower!" You felt rude leaving him out there so you sped through the last of your routine and found him lying comfortably on your bed, face buried in his phone. He offered you a familiar, wolf-like grin before turning his attention back to the screen, you'd known him so long the action of dressing in front of him wasn't anything to bat an eye at, "Sorry- didn't know you were coming over or I woulda' showered sooner, you don't mind if I get ready right?"

"Mmhm" was his simple response so you continued with your routine, rambling nervously about your plans.

He appeared as chipper as usual, that is until you told him about your date, it was as if the energy in the room shifted into something- else.

He seemed to be in this state of disbelief, questioning how and when this happened, ignoring the sting in your chest at the thought of him not believing you, and all the ugly thoughts it brought up, you continued to browse through your wardrobe, hoping the search for a cute set of bottoms would help you push through your nerves about it all before you could ask why he found the concept so unbelievable, you'd heard his rushed goodbye, the slam of the door made you jump in place, nearly dropping the garment because that was weird as hell.

Manny always hugged you goodbye, so his running off made you pause, it was instinctual for you to comfort him when he got worked up in that way only Manny could, so you were just about to call him to double-check but were interrupted by your date's number popping up on the screen.

His name was Michael and he sounded so shy when he called to double confirm your attendance, you found his eagerness cute. you silently vowed to check in with your friend after the date and hyped yourself for the night to come.

As the evening began, you found yourself waiting idly by the table, he'd chosen a bit of an upscale bistro as your meeting spot so you felt the need to dress up a bit, a cute black turtleneck dress covered your body like a second skin, hugging your curves in all the right ways, the cashmere number was a gift from Gabe ages ago, and his flustered reaction to seeing you come out of that dressing room is what pushed you to bring it home, you knew your ass looked incredible in the outfit, paired with the knee length, black crushed-velvet boots, you felt hot as hell and were excited to see your date's reaction.

Only you never got the chance.

Thirty minutes go by with no sign of Michael.

What was supposed to be a fun night out quickly soured into an evening of humiliation as your date ignored your call for the third time since you'd arrived. You felt the shame creep up as you faced the cold hard fact, you'd been stood up.

Feeling utterly stupid for getting all primped and preened for some douche who didn't even have the nerve to cancel, you resigned yourself to the sad reality.

I mean he asked you out! He even bothered to make sure you were coming, all that to so coldly blow you off?

A disheartened breath escaped your lips as you let your head meet the table with a thunk. You quickly excused yourself from the restaurant, tossing the money for the wine you'd had with shakey hands. Tears had rushed to your eye, building at the waterline, but you didn't want to cry, not yet.

You'd done well not to fall to the urge to curl up and sob, kicking your boots off at the door, uncaring of the way they nearly knocked over a plant, it wasn't until a second later when the silence of your home became glaringly loud, did it all become too much.

Throwing yourself onto the couch, you buried your face in the soft cushion and wept like a baby. Shoulders shaking, voice cracking cries left your form. After a good fifteen minutes of crying as hard as you could, you wiped at your flush face and shuffled your way to the bottle of some half-empty whiskey, Marcos had left in your cabinet ages ago.

He'd pitch a full fit if he saw you chasing his 100$ liquor with the Coke you had in your fridge, the thought of the male made a new round of sobs bubble past your wet lips, you'd always held a candle of affection for the tall redhead, of course, you loved all of the Delmont's but you'd always had a little crush on Marcos, you compared it to the feeling of crushing on a celebrity, where your subconscious mind knows they're out of reach, so it feels like a harmless fantasy.

Love came to him so effortlessly, and he discarded it just as easily, the nasty feeling of envy came up and you quickly shook your head, choosing to drown the thoughts in the burning amber liquid rather than face them.

About an hour after your failed excursion, you found yourself resting comfortably on the kitchen floor, back pressed into the cool metal of your fridge, the whiskey bottle now empty, you'd taken to rolling it back and forth between your foot and the wall, allowing yourself to just be lost in the hazy sensations around you.

The shrill ring of your doorbell burst your blissfully drunk bubble.

"Go 'way.." you slurred from your rather relaxed position on the floor, the sexy outfit you'd put on just to show off was bunched at your waist for comfort, the knock came again, this time followed by the voice of one of your best friends.

"Sugarplum? It's us, can we come in?" Manny whined from behind the wood, you could practically see the pout on his face, of course, he had a key so it was really more of a formality than an actual question.

He didn't wait for your response, instead shuffling his way inside, the greasy takeout in his hand had you crawling across the floor to meet him halfway.

A happy and clearly drunk gasp left your wine-stained lips, "Manny! you didn't gimmie a hug earlier what was up with that?-Oh shit is that Taco Bell?" He made a noise of agreement holding the bag towards you. "Sure is, and m'sorry about before Hun, I was in a mood but I promise it wasn't your fault."

His voice was like warm sugar as he spoke, now kneeling beside you, he held his arms out eagerly accepting the somewhat sloppy hug you threw his way. "Now, can you let Marcos pick you up so you can eat baby?" His hands rubbed up and down your arms, bringing goosebumps to the surface.

With a few slow but determined nods, you happily agreed, turning to face Manny's other half.

The older of the two had squatted down beside you, his ring-clad hand moved to brush a few sweat-soaked curls from your head. "Hey princess." He smiled softly at your pretty flushed face, the way you stared up at him, had his pulse thumping. "Heeey good lookin' you come here often?" You threw your hands around his neck which gave him the perfect opportunity to scoop you up, he led you to the couch, setting you down as if you were made of porcelain. He sent his twin a subtle nod as he moved you.

"How was your date?" Marcos's honey-dipped voice cooed from his position beside you, the action sent vibrations down your back making you flinch away from him with an airy giggle. "Wellllll, kinda hard to rate it when the guy doesn't show up." You sighed hastily digging through the bag Mammy had given you.

"What a scumbag- I'd never leave you by your lonesome like that." He cupped your flushed cheek, gently rubbing his thumb along the underside of your jaw. Food momentarily forgotten you dropped the bag in your lap, shoulders sagging with all the weight of the failed night, "Promise?" You asked, getting teary-eyed all over again.

He felt his chest tighten at the sight, as pretty as you looked right now, he was the only one allowed to make you cry, anyone else doing it was basically a war crime in his eyes. "Cross my heart and hope to die, baby." He threw an arm over the couch allowing you space to cuddle into his side.

When you were good and comfy he turned you to face him with the lightest touch to your chin, "You see this?" He slipped the ring on his pointer finger off, and gently lowered the band around your thumb. "This makes my promise official."

Manny had suddenly appeared before you, a small cup in his hands.

"Hey sweetie, you finished off Marco's bottle huh?" He smiled at the dazy way you nodded yes, fighting the urge to gush over your cuteness, "Well I don't want you to be sick tomorrow, can you take these for me? Good girl." You'd opened your mouth without question, having nothing but trust in the two men before you, you let him hold the cup to your lips and swallowed, mumbling a sleepy "thank you." into the skin of Marco's neck. His full body shiver goes unnoticed by you.

The twins watched you fall under with laser-focused eyes, the hardest part would be peeling Marcos away from you long enough for him to do his job.

Once they had both you and your stuff tucked away snugly in the car, Manny insisted on being in the back with you, holding you close to his chest, in your sleep, you held him back, quickly becoming overwhelmed by all the good emotions pumping through his veins- at his love for you, he felt himself get a bit teary at the sight of you finally where you belonged, safe in his arms.

Marcos made good and sure to wipe away any evidence of them being there, and all but ran back to their car to begin the long drive to your forever house.

Back at said home, the eldest of the brothers was doing one last walkthrough to make everything perfect for his Honey's arrival.

Caspian had managed to make the home feel lived in from the few hours he had to prep, a fully stocked kitchen, your favorite scent wafting gently through the air, Ricky had the foresight to install dimmer switches in every room because he knew how you loathed the 'big light', your bedroom had the biggest bed Caspian had ever seen, he'd made sure everything was ready for your arrival, even taking the time to warm your blankets in the dryer.

He moved around the space with a fluidness surprising for someone of his size, already familiar with the layout, the eldest Delmont made his final rounds around the home, making extra sure all the locks and exits were secure, he knew eventually, you'd come to love it here, but he also understood you'd need some time to adjust, these were just precautions.

He nearly squealed when he got the text from the twins, you were finally here! Finally home. He couldn't wait to hug you, kiss you, and give you all the affection he'd been forced to hold back. But he was a patient man and knew you'd be overwhelmed if he did, so instead, he settled for scooping you out of the car, much to his younger brother's displeasure.

You snuggled into his warmth in your sleep, to which he couldn't help but coo over. "Welcome home Honey," he whispered into the crown of your head, a small kiss left as he gently, but hurriedly rushed you inside and away from the snowfall that had just begun.

Manny nearly tackled his twin when they entered their new house, his energy was off the roof, practically buzzing in place as he took in their dream home. The living room had a 70's style conversation pit where you all could relax and they could smother you in the affection you so clearly needed.

A part of him was still bitter about the date, not at you, never at you, but the feeling was there, and all he wanted to do right now was hold you to his chest and let the lull of your heartbeat calm him down. Marcos plopped himself on the soft cushioned couch with a troubling sigh and waved him over.

"What's up? You got a weird look on your face." Manny couldn't fathom his twin being anything other than elated right now, so the odd air around him didn't sit well with the youngest.

"C'mere for a sec Little man- we gotta go over some ground rules before she wakes up." Manny's smile fell as he complied, sitting with a pout, "Ground rules are how we ended up here in the first place." He all but sneered, arms crossed in visible frustration.

Marcos held his hands up in a show of surrender. "I get it, but this is different."

"I know you're excited, god I am too, but there's a real chance she won't be too happy when she wakes up." The older of the two now sat hunched over, his elbows on his knees as he tried to find the right words to explain to his other half.

"What do you mean? This house was literally made for us all, we're in the woods like she's always talked about- she's gonna love it!" Marcos sighed taking his younger brother's hand, already he could feel him panicking at the thought of this going anything but swell.

"Think about it like this bud, she has no idea how we feel, this is gonna be the first time she hears it, and we feel a lot, so we gotta be delicate."

Manny felt his face scrunch in confusion, not able to understand why you wouldn't be happy. You'd never have to lift a finger again, no more bills, work or slimy coffee house creeps to prey on your sweetness, he knew you'd be your happiest here!

"Not to mention the whole waking up somewhere she didn't fall asleep thing." He licked his bottom lip, knowing he had to toe the line in fear of causing his younger brother's next breakdown.

"I'm just sayin' this in case she freaks out okay? I don't want you to be caught off guard- if she says anything mean or hurtful you can't lose your cool aight'?" Marcos watched his younger brother as he processed his words. Knowing his reaction could go either way.

After a tense moment of silence, there was a shift in Manny's expression, as if something clicked. He rubbed at his chin, and Marcos could practically see the gears in his head turning.

"..Okay, it's sorta' like when we brought home that feral kitty, can't hold it against her if we get a few scratches right?" Marcos felt himself relax nodding with a smile that mirrored Manny's. "That's exactly right Bud, C'mon when Cas comes out we can go in there, we should be the first faces she sees dontcha' think?"

Ricky and Gabe arrived at their new home at the same time. The ladder immediately headed straight for the shower as whatever it was he did to your date still stained his hands crimson. Gabe couldn't wipe the wild grin from his face if he wanted to, he felt like he'd just won the lottery.

Ricky had done exactly as he said he would and left a convincing trail of evidence that you were feeling a bit free-spirited and decided to take a little vacation, of course leaving out the where and with whom.

He made his way around your new home with a feeling of accomplishment, everything was perfect now.

You were safe, and once you got over whatever adjustment period you needed, he knew everyone would be happier than ever before. Caspian greeted his younger brother with a bear hug, his smile wider than Ricky had seen in years. "You did good Ricky, real good. This place is perfect." The praise made a weight lift off the long-haired man's shoulders, Caspian was the one he looked up to the most, so to hear such positive confirmation made him let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I'm scared she's gonna' freak out- I don't want her to hate us-" he found his anxieties tumbling past his lips without permission, Caspian had that effect on people.

"She won't. Know why? Because this was the right call, we have all the time in the world to show her just how much we care okay? Don't stress it." He clapped a hand on his shoulder and began dragging him to the kitchen.

"C'mon I got too excited and kinda' made too much food."

Gabe took his time in the shower, letting the perfectly hot water wash away his sins of the night. Scratch that, he didn't consider his acts sins, or that of violence, rather, it was an act of love, putting that bastard in the ground for you was just him speaking his particular brand of love language.

The wicked smile curled upon his lips only widened as he watched the pink water turn clear, he was giddy at the thought of you sleeping peacefully just a few rooms away. You were here, like actually here. Nothing or no one would ever hurt you again, and most excitingly, he didn't have to hold back anymore, once you woke up he was going to spill his guts, and if his words of love weren't enough to convince you, he'd just have to show you how you effected him all these years.

Waking up in a slightly hungover haze in an entirely different place than you passed out in should have sent you into a panic, but the familiar feeling of being sandwiched between the twins killed any fear that may have come up, even half asleep and a little hungover, you knew you were always safe when a Delmont was around.

Before you could try to wrap your head around your new surroundings both Manny and Marcos were pressing a big fat kiss into each of your cheeks. "Morning sunshine." Manny sang sweetly, Marcos gave you a hug from the side mumbling his greeting into the skin of your neck. When they pulled away you were far too flustered to ask all the questions burning in your mind, instead, you returned the greetings and mutely followed behind them as Manny took your hand and began to lead you away from the wonderful room you'd woken up in.

Manny led you to the dining room of the seemingly massive house you resided in while Marcos went to shower (not before inviting you to join him of course), the youngest Delmont was as chatty as ever, rambling about everything and nothing but his words weren't registering, you definitely didn't remember coming to wherever the hell this was, and him acting so normal made you feel even weirder, as you shuffled forward the familiar sounds of the rest of the boys got louder and louder.

"Gabriel Miguel Delmont if you touch that bacon one more time I'm putting you outside like a dog." Caspian rarely yelled, even now when he was scolding the blue-haired giant he sounded more disappointed than angry, but it was his voice you noticed first.

"C'mon Cas I'm hungryyy-" you could hear the pout in Gabe's words, "I wanna' eat, there's no reason to wait it's not like we're running out of food anytime soon."

"Yeah well, people in hell want ice water so tough."

"Gabe shut up- Cas stop readjusting the silverware she's not gonna' notice."

"But she might!!" As you both rounded the corner the conversation fell deathly silent. Each man was overcome with their affection for you, it didn't help that you looked so damn cute rubbing the sleep from your eye.

"Mornin'?" You said after a good thirty seconds of them just staring. This seemed to restart them all as Caspian jumped to pull out a chair, his warm smile was infectious, and you found yourself returning it as you sat. "Holy hell Cas you made enough to feed an army."

The spread before you was truly something out of a movie, from savory grits to big fluffy waffles, he seemed to have made every one of your favorite breakfast dishes, and each looked picture-perfect, he was all but beaming as he stood beside you.

"Hope you're hungry." He laughed a bit, nervously flattening the baby pink apron covering his wide chest, he picked up the plate before you, staring down through his thick lashes with such warmth it made your heart race. "May I?" He gestured to the buffet and you nodded, mouth slightly agape as your brain tried to process the scene.

Ricky sat across from you, his long hair in a messy bun, a few strands fell out, framing his face, which speaking of was fixed in the most peaceful expression, you couldn't recall the last time he seemed so relaxed. For once he didn't look like he was moments away from falling asleep, instead, he seemed refreshed, like he'd caught up on all the rest he hadn't gotten over the years.

He stared at you with the softest look, licking his bottom lip before speaking, "Good morning love, did you sleep well?" He sipped at his mug, the cinnamon coffee scent wafted through the room, that cat-like stare of his never once leaving your form.

"Slept like the dead actually-" You figured now was good a time as any to bring up the elephant in the room. "Probably the best sleep I've gotten in ages- speaking of whose bed did I just wake up in?"

"Sorry for the holdup! Water's still warm if you wanna shower sweets." Marcos cut you off as he entered taking his seat by Manny who sat directly to your right, as he eagerly drank you in, the youngest seemed to be vibrating in his seat.

"You should eat, lord knows the last time you did." Gabe teased from his spot beside Ricky, he was the most unabashed in his staring, it felt as if he was just barely holding himself back from leaping across the table, to do what you had no idea, but the grip he had on his fork was cause for concern.

After Caspian deemed your plate full enough he set it before you, his large frame cast a shadow across the table as he leaned over, it almost sounded as if he smelled your hair as he pulled away to take the seat by your left.

"Okay everyone eat up, after you do I'll answer all your questions okay? No lies. Complete transparency." Ricky spoke as if reading your mind, he gave you that smile of his that always made you feel like everything was under control and you relinquished yourself to the five-star meal before you.

If you could ignore the new location, the scene you found yourself in felt rather familiar. Each man bickered with each other as you all ate, you could almost pretend you were back at their house. Gabe finished first as usual, going in for seconds when he asked you to pass him the eggs, his much larger hand gently brushed over your own, and based on the grin he was sporting after, the move was intentional.

Once everyone was finished you thanked Caspian for the meal and turned your attention to Ricky, who looked a bit nervous now. "Soo. This isn't my house?" Despite your casual and light-hearted tone, the atmosphere seemed to shift at that second.

"Yes, it is, just not your old one. And to answer your question from before, that was your bed you woke up in."

"Right. Okay sure- where exactly are we? It's snowing outside." Ricky took a moment to finish off his coffee before responding.

"We're home. Our new home and it's winter Darling, snow is expected for this area." The long-haired man seemed to choose his words carefully, putting extra emphasis on the word our.

"Okay. Um and how exactly did I get to this area? The last thing I remember was chilling at my place with things 1&2 over there." The twins stared at you bashfully, both suddenly looking everywhere but you.

You flicked your gaze over each of them, all looking rather anxious, Ricky opened his mouth to answer but Marcos beat him to the punch. "I- we brought you here last night." He gestured to his twin who was beaming at you. "We couldn't just leave you alone in the state you were in." He added, not technically a lie he reasoned mentally.

You nodded to yourself, wondering how to ask what you really wanted to know.

"You're wondering why right?" Caspian spoke up, his voice was gentle as if talking down a wounded, cornered animal.

You nodded, brows furrowed in confusion, not trusting your voice.

"Well-" he seemed to look to his brothers for confirmation before continuing, a red hue growing on his cheeks as he racked his mind for the right words, he had so much he wanted to say to you! Everything got all jumbled in his brain causing the eldest Delmont to visibly fluster.

"God I've been thinking about this moment for years but now that you're actually here I'm blanking." He let out an embarrassed laugh, rubbing his hand over his face as he stumbled over his words.

"Okay I'll say it since these bozos forgot how to talk or somethin'," Gabe rolled up his sleeves and leaned over on the table all business-like.

"You are ours now-" he gestured to the rest of the men in the room, "Sorry, I say 'now' like you haven't always been, but officially, you're ours." He gave a self-satisfied grin, leaning back into his chair. "Yours? what?" He cooed at your frustration, reaching across the table to take your hand in his much larger one.

"Ours to protect," he kissed your pointer finger, "To love," another kiss, now on your palm. "To fuck." His searing stare was only broken when he took the tip of your finger between his lips, gently sucking as he pulled away.

You felt like liquid putty as if he was the only thing grounding you at the moment.

Marcos rolled his eyes at his brute of a brother, jealousy came off him in waves as he sat on the table, taking your other hand he began laying on a few of his own possessive kisses, between each one he spoke "What that meathead is trying to say is we want to take care of you," another kiss, "-all of you." Another. "In every way." He added as if it cleared up any of your steadily building confusion.

Between the tingling in your lower abdomen to the confusion-headache beginning to pulse, you felt breathless.

"Sorry- just let me get this right. You took me out to some fancy cabin in the woods to take care of me?" Your face scrunched in confusion, and gently, you took back both your hands in an attempt to calm down, fanning your face you shakily laughed,

"Why? I'm okay guys really-"

"No, you're not!" Manny interrupted with a teary-eyed huff. "You feel lonely. I know you do, you told me so! You said you were gonna go out with that loser cuz you felt unwanted! That doesn't sound okay to me." The jealousy practically seeped from his words, his bright orange eyes held this darkness you'd only seen in him once or twice, and while he'd always been rather protective of you, this level of hate for someone else at your expense was new.

He had worked himself up and out of instinct, your hand found his own, immediately it calmed his tantrum down, resulting in him just sniffling instead of screaming which he very much wanted to do.

Brushing your thumb against the back of his hand in what you hoped were comforting circles, you hushed his tears, wiping them away with a practiced tenderness.

"It's okay Manny- don't get upset, not for me. I'm just trying to understand all this, can you help me understand?" He nuzzled into your palm like a pup, sighing deeply, he leaned over to rest his forehead against your own.

"I love you- we all do."

"God- I love you guys too, you're my family-"

"No! No! No! Not like that!- we love you." Manny had leaped from his seat, falling to his knees like a worshiper at their God's alter. "I love you like... I love you like the moon loves the sun. I crave you," he kissed his way from your feet to your calves, his hands rubbing patterns into the flesh, "I need you more than I need air in my lungs!" he whined looking up from between your knees.

"I adore you darling- we all do, can't you see?" Bending down, you wipe at his tears once more, and he melts into your touch, muttering this next bit into your skin, "My heart beats for you."

Heat as you'd never felt before rushed through your veins at his bold confession. Your heart raced, blood pounding in your ears as you looped his words in your brain.

A thousand emotions whirled inside you as you stared at them all, there was a small part of you that thought this was all some dream your lonely mind concocted after a night of getting hammered. But then you felt Manny's tears begin to soak into the fabric of your sweats, and the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks.

Your mouth gaped as you struggled to find the right words. "You're in love with me? Like all of you?" Manny had resigned himself to leaning in your lap, head buried in your thighs as you combed through his curls with one hand.

"I don't know what to say." You spoke honestly, staring at each of them, you expected sadness from your lack of response but only found warmth in their gazes.

"And you don't need to, I'm glad you're even hearing us out," Caspian spoke, taking a hesitant seat beside you as if he was afraid to scare you off. "Of course, I'm hearing you out you guys are everything to me, sure you went about telling me in the absolute wildest way possible but I don't know what I'd do without you- all of you."

"And you never have to. I meant what I said, you're ours now, we got all the time in the world for you to catch up." Gabe said, his eyes flickered over his youngest brother, still in your lap, and instead of animosity, he stared with a knowing grin. "Okay little man, you worked yourself up, c'mon let's take a walk."

A muffled shout of 'No!' could be heard from Manny, his grip on your waist had become like iron, but Gabe persisted. He scooped the skinner male up by his arms, much like a cat grabbing their kitten by the scruff of its neck, and dragged the pouting male outside with a well-timed wink. "See you in a bit Ma." And with that, they left.

You offered to help Cas clear the dishes, if only for a sense of normalcy but he quickly ushered you away, sending you off to rest with a quick peck to your cheek.

In an attempt not to overwhelm you, each Delmont was off to their own devices, Gabe and Manny still hadn't returned from their walk, Marcos was hotboxing the basement and Caspian was humming his way around the kitchen, which left you to wander the large estate you'd found yourself in.

Retracing your steps led you back into the room you'd woken up in, the large space was open and seemed almost tailored to your tastes. You took the time to search the drawers and see your clothes, the bathroom connected to the room was fully stocked with your favorite brands, and much to your growing confusion, even had stuff from your wishlist.

You looked for your phone in all the typical places it usually was, purse, nightstand, etc. But came up empty-handed. You had a sneaking feeling this was intentional as everything else you could have needed for this impromptu vacation was accounted for.

Feeling the burn of more questions you sought out the man who swore to answer them.

He wasn't too hard to find, and the sound of soft music coming from a record player led you straight to him, the room he was in looked like an upgraded version of his office, he was writing in a leather-bound journal so intensely he didn't notice you walk up. He always looked so pretty when he was working, chin jutted out just the slightest as his eyes flickered back and forth, you always told him how he looked like he belonged in a modern art museum.

"Hey, Ricky?" His head snapped towards you with breakneck speed. "What's up?" He seemed eager as he snapped the book shut and shoved it in a drawer, his small smile was enough to relax you, quickly turning to give you his undivided attention, he waved you in.

"You know where my phone is? I couldn't find it with all my stuff." He smiled at you, taking his glasses off with finesse as if he was prepared for this question. "The boys must have forgotten it." He said matter of factly.

"Well can I use yours?"

"It's dead."

You scoffed feeling your irritation spike at his dismissive attitude, you turned to leave before he spoke out again. "What are you so eager to do on the phone exactly?"

"Oh my god- nothing, I get you guys are trying to- well do whatever this is, but you can't just keep me from my life Rick- I don't need to be coddled." He leaned back into his seat, brows furrowed at your tense form.

"And what exactly are we keeping you from? An empty apartment? A job you despise that sucks the joy outta ya?" He sighed through his nose, tucking a runaway strand behind his ear, "You don't need to worry about any of that shit anymore okay? Have you looked around the house yet?" He asked changing the subject smoothly, you shook your head no, anger fading as quickly as it had come, and watched as he rose, pausing to crack his back.

"Well c'mon, there's lots to see and you oughta be familiar with your own home."

The two of you walked side by side as he took you along the tour, so far not including the rooms you'd already been in, you'd seen a reading room, but what made you pause was the living room itself. It had a flat screen that took up a whole wall, a working currently lit fireplace, a few hanging plants and well-placed candles, and dead center was what you considered the crowing jewel, a mauve and orange themed conversation pit, one you'd always dreamed of having. You couldn't fight your excitement as you rushed past him to flop on the soft cushion.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven." You mumbled into the fabric, Ricky stared on in amusement, more than pleased you seemed to be enjoying the home he'd painstakingly brought together for you. Every inch of the house was managed with you in mind, he'd kept amazing notes on your likes and preferences throughout the years, but seeing your genuine excitement had to be his favorite part.

"I promise we can come back here but there are literally three floors to this mother fucker." He smiled down at you, holding a slender hand out, he felt his heart swell as you took it, but instead of rising to his level, you yanked him down to your own, pulling him over, he bounced on the couch with shock written on his features.

"No way my guy- tour is officially paused until we test this here T.V. out okay?" His face flushed as you curled up beside him, "Yes ma'am." He laughed a bit to himself, loving how easily you were entertained. He pulled the remote out from a cleverly disguised compartment on the couch and watched your eyes light up even brighter.

"Holy shit secret couch pouch."

"Focus woman, I paid good money for this T.V. and you're more interested in the furniture." He turned on a random movie and let himself relax at the moment. Drinking in the sight of you so at ease, his heart about exploded from his chest when you snuggled into his side, his arm wrapped around you snuggly, hand rubbing patterns into your flesh.

You didn't feel like racking your brain with a million questions about why you were there or where their sudden confessions came from, instead, you chose to focus on what you did know, Ricky was comfortable, and despite everything, you still trusted the Delmont men, as they were all you knew.

Maybe subconsciously you knew this was wrong, that keeping you here was wrong, but it didn't feel wrong. It felt right. Like you were supposed to be here at this moment.

You ended up passing out in the tall man's arms, your small snores and completely relaxed face had Ricky's skin flushed cherry red, he couldn't wipe the grin from his lips if he tried, Gabe and a now calmed down Manny returned shortly after you fell asleep, the older of the two insisted on carrying you back to your room, only he stopped by his room to tuck you snuggly into bed, wrapped in his soft Egyptian cotton black sheets, he felt himself twitch in his pants at the sight of you so safe and sound.

He stood over you for a while, happy to stand there and drink you in all night, only to be interrupted by a text from his older brother.

"Okay so, how do we think it's going?" Caspian asked after summoning them all to the still slightly smokey basement, he held a tablet in one hand, the cameras placed around the house were mostly for his peace of mind, so he could be sure you were okay no matter where he was.

"She seemed chill at breakfast, I say a win is a win." Gabe shrugged, eager to leave this little meeting and cuddle up to you.

"Yeah I'm with Gabe on this one, she seems okay, do we have to keep up with the whole 'give her space' thing?" Marcos asked from his spot on the couch, he was lying on his back tossing a foam football up and down.

"I wanna sleep with her- s'not fair Ricky got to." Manny piped up from his seat on a beanbag, the pout could be heard in his voice.

"I was just in the right place at the right time, not like I planned it." Ricky defended himself, but the satisfied smile on his face made it hard to believe him. "And it could just be the shock, give it a few days before you lay into her, and I'm looking at you three." Gabe and the twins made a noise of disbelief.

The next morning you awoke not on the couch but pressed against the big chest of one Gabriel Delmont. The bluenette had one hand behind his head and the other securely wrapped around your middle, holding you against him, he rarely slept in a shirt so you were used to his statuesque features, but it felt different now, after his bold claim at the breakfast table, it all seemed rather intimate to be face first in his naked chest.

As if he sensed you were awake, he soon started shuffling close toward you.

"G'mornin Mi Amor." His morning voice was husky with sleep, it sent a warm tingle down your spine as he shifted, pulling you even closer. "Morning Gabe." He stared at you for a second before tilting your chin up with his free hand, his pillowy lips were on yours in an instant, warm and cozy, he hummed as he pulled away, his smile turning wicked at the obvious heat on your face.

"I uh- I fell asleep on the couch?" Was all your brain managed to say after the heated kiss, still processing the tingly way it made you feel.

He huffed a laugh, leaning over to place another kiss, this time on your neck, "Yeah I may have stolen you from Ricky but you can't really blame me." He mumbled into the flesh of your neck, the sensation made a ghost of a whimper leave your lips.

He froze against you before his lips turned to teeth, "Keep making those pretty noises for me n' We're never leaving the bed." He sounded breathless as he nipped and sucked his mark into your skin. Breathy little moans left your lips, "Shit- hold on a second-ngh."

Your hands buried themselves in him, one in his hair the other trying to find purchase on his toned back. His chest began to rise and fall, his heart pounding as he fell into the delicious sensations, your hand tugging at his locks, the other digging into his skin so hard he felt the crescent-shaped indents you were leaving, the mental image of your own mark on him had him rolling his hips into yours, his boxers suddenly all too tight, he rolled himself to lay comfortably between your thighs, suddenly, he lifted himself just enough to stare in your eyes. "You want my tongue or my fingers first Ma'?" The sinful smile he sported was enough to short-circuit your brain.

But before you could stumble out an answer, a few sharp knocks came from the door, so hard they shook the wood.

"Put your dick away Gabriel, food's ready." Marco's voice carried through the barrier instantly popping whatever heated bubble you two had been in. Gabe growled something obscene under his breath, his angry stare melted back into a teasing one as he met your gaze once more.

"To be continued Baby girl."

Your second breakfast at your new home was a lot like the first one, only this time before you could sit Manny pulled you into his lap, his surprisingly strong arms locked around your waist, fingers dancing along any skin he could find. "Missed you." He mumbled into the back of your neck, goosebumps exploded across your skin at the timber in his voice. "But you just seen me?" You couldn't fight the giggles that escaped you as he started trailing little kisses along the column of your throat, nosing just below your ear as he knew you were ticklish. "So what? I didn't wake up and see you so it's been too long." He reasoned, basking in the perfect way you fit in his arms, how soft and warm you were.

"Oi, let her eat." Ricky pointed his fork at the youngest, his tone full of accusation. "Hmm that's fair, my baby does need to eat, hey Cas, little help?" Manny asked hiding his wolfish grin by kissing your nape. He knew what he was doing.

"Well of course." The eldest Delmont was quick to bring a fork full of food to your lips, the heat in your stomach only worsened as he stared down at you so lovingly. Being hand-fed was embarrassing, but with each passing moment the electric feeling of Manny's wandering hands paired with the downright lustful way Caspian was staring at you, and each of the little proud noises he made whenever you took a bite, quickly wiped away any embarrassment.

You managed to usher Caspian to his seat so he himself could eat, Manny seemed much too preoccupied caressing your body to feed himself, so you cleared your throat, it was almost comical how each of their heads snapped towards you, like a pack of puppies waiting for their next command.

"So- uhm, what's on the agenda today?" It was hard to keep your voice steady, Manny's fingers danced up and down your sides in an addicting manner.

"I've gotta head into town with Manny and Gabe, pop needs us for a few hours but when we come back I'll make it up to you okay love?" Ricky spoke first seemingly genuinely upset at the prospect of leaving you, the other two mentioned visibly deflated at the news, and the younger twin tightened his hold on you.

Once those three departed Marcos loudly announced he was taking a bath and how lonely it be, oh if only someone would help him, only leaving when Caspian launched his slipper at the devious Twin.

Which left you with the gentle giant of the house.

You helped Cas clear the table no matter how adorable the pout on his face was. It felt so normal, drying the dishes as he washed, a soft song playing in the background.

"How are you doing? I mean really doing." He spoke so gently, so earnestly, the truth couldn't help but come out of you. "I feel like I'm dreaming. Like I'm gonna wake up any second and all of this will have been some strange concoction by my lonely brain." You laughed as you spoke, but it was true.

It was as if you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Why do you say that Honey?" He seemed so concerned, enough to set the plate he had in the sink, dry his hands, and turn and face you fully. "Well- I mean it is all very dreamy, plus you guys all- I mean what you said at breakfast yesterday, that you all um-" For some reason, the words refused to leave like you were embarrassed to say them Incase you were wrong.

"Love you?" He asked, gently taking each of your hands, "Yeah- I mean I'm flattered, fuck any one of you being into me is like a dream but all of you? I'm just kinda, scared I guess? That this is another one of those jokes where I'm the only one not in on it." His frown was so out of place on his face, how disturbed he seemed. Before you could backpedal he was lowering himself down just enough to scoop you up and sit you on the kitchen counter.

"I'm so sorry baby, my poor girl." He sighed, thumb brushing against your cheek. "Your brain is being mean to you, that's just not gonna work for me." He rolled up the sleeves of his sweater and undid his apron with a finesse that had your thighs clenching together. "We shoulda' told you how we felt years ago. Then it be unquestionable. I guess I just gotta convince you some other way right?" He had this look in his eye, the bass in his voice made your next words come out shakey.

"What did you have in mind?"

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anitalianfrie · 3 months

Text

so, after trials and tribulations and many many insults thrown the way of bad quality vhs, i proudly present you: the translation of the video of vale's eighteen birthday!

when there were long pauses between the dialogue, i put the timestamp before it. my comments are between [] .

video and translation under the cut :)

youtube

Vale (VO): the “Valentino Rossi production” presents, in collaboration with the idiots of Tavullia, this epic footage.

Vale(VO): Valentino Rossi, the man, the rider, the moron, turns eighteen

Vale(VO): there’s a new name in the register of the Carabinieri [cops] of Tavullia, it’s him, Valentino Rossi, the kid with a man’s body and the IQ of a boiled zucchini. He gets from his father a great shaft and the brain of the chicken he used to keep on a leash. Valentino Rossi, the man, the rider, the moron, when he gets interviewed he says about himself “I’m Valentino Rossi” and then he loses his focus. He doesn’t like to define himself a nepo baby because he doesn’t know what it means. The one who merges the spirit of a rider with the hair of a folk drummer. Everybody seeks him, everybody calls him, but once they get to talk with him they mourn the loss of the answering machine.

Vale(VO): contacted by the Philip Morris International for a contract of billions, he declines the offer because he doesn’t smoke. Valentino Rossi, he rocks! And the Aprilia makes a wheelie.

Vale(VO): the next one will be his second year of competing in the world championship, but he still thinks he’s riding on a minibike, and he’s perpetually desolated because after the chequered flag he can’t find the turtle on his helmet. Nowadays, he’s the only rider paid by the Japanese to stay with Aprilia. Let’s enter his kingdom, his home, thing that sometimes he can’t do because he topples over in his ape car in the parking lot below.

(4.44)

Boy1: Marshall

Boy2: Oh, let me look at the video

Boy1: Marshall

Boy2: C’mon, get out of there

Boy1: Marshall. What then?

Vale: How are you?

Boy2: Nice, with the Marshall starting

Vale: Cosmic

[i have honestly no clue what this conversation is supposed to mean. It might be an inside joke, or they could be taking about an actual marshal of the Carabinieri]

Int: Valentino Rossi, how does it feel to be eighteen?

Vale: eh, how does it feel... eighteen years old, it’s an important age, we’ve all become a bit older, I have – rather than we have – gotten more mature compared to when i was younger, you don’t do the things you used to anymore, we’re all way calmer, basically now is... now it’s time to leave the fun behind and to get serious

(6.26)

Vale(behind the camera): Come on! Super risky!

Vale: Do it here!

Vale: Go again!

Vale: Now it’s sure [unintelligible] get down!

Vale (after the guy “jumps” with the bike): You need, you need the feeler gauge to measure how high he jumped! We measure it with gauge! (laughs)

Boy: even the wheels!

Boy: vale?

Vale: eh?

Boy: turn it off

Boy: incredibly-

Vale: wait, wait- okay, now go, a comment on this sensational jump- super high, a jump out of this world, done by Michele

Boy: incredibly, the wheels touched the ground even on the [unintelligible]

Michele: that’s thanks to the suspensions, really... optimal, that let me-

Vale: a question Michi, wait-

Michele: -all this speed, and...

Vale: I’m zooming on you... but how did you do it?

Michele: Oh God, i don’t-

Vale: fucking hell, it was sensational, a-

Michele: the good thing is-

Vale: -mind-blowing jump

Michele: did you see how i got down?

Vale: ah- fuck, no

Michele: you didn’t see it?

Vale: it was out of the thingy, out of the lens and.... now we try the calibre and we measure [unintelligible]

Voices: Whooo, let’s go!

Vale: show off!!

Vale: now we will show you a trick, that even Orfei [name of a famous circus]- Orfei came to Tavullia and asked us to perform it. Look. It’s on the verge of the unpredictable

(8.46)

Boy1: Oh god

Boy2: another Panda

Boy2: three motor scooters, incredible, incredible!

#valentino rossi #motogp #lesbian vale #finally finished it oh god the audio it's barely intelligible half of the time

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timbertumbr · 1 year

Note

Heyy can I request some LMK stuff..? If so can I get a headcanon with MK, Mei, Red, Wukong, Macaque, and the demon twins reacting to them coming home late at night only to come into the room and see their S/O's eyes shine like an animal with light flashed in their eyes and surrounded by snacks. Thank you and don't forget to drink water. (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

Oh, deer… (LMK X Reader)

You got it! Oh dear lord, the tags are going to be a pain- Either way, enjoy the very short and very memey headcanons. And thank you for the reminder. :)

If I don't do the writing challenge today, I'll write up another request :)

MK-

-”Hey I’m ho-”

-You just stare at him while slowly munching on your snacks.

-He stares back before backing away and calling Piggsy because he’s terrified.

Mei-

-”WHOOO! I just got back from the CRAZIEST party and- Hey, you had a snack party without me?!”

-Not phased at all, not in the slightest. She does the same thing sometimes.

-You bite into your snack and slowly nod, patting the empty space next to you.

“Aw, sweet! Perfect party recharge! Thanks!”

-You both scare the bejebus out of MK.

Red son-

“Ugh, finally home. I encountered noodle boy and-”

-Kinda pauses and stares at you.

-”. . . I’m not even going to ask,” He comments before sitting next to you and talking about his day while you snaked and listened.

Sun Wukong-

-”Hey sunshine! You won’t believe what MK, DID YOU STEAL MY PEACH CHIPS?!”

-You did, you don’t regret it. He’s a little disappointed but mainly amused.

-”Fiiiine, I guess you can have this bag, but only if I can have some of yours,”

-You slowly nod and hand him one of your snacks, he gladly accepts it and talks about his training with MK.

Macaque-

-”Glad to be home, had a tough crowd at the theater today, oh hey, you’re the snack monster now, huh?”

-Very amused, and most likely taught you how to do it.

-You nod and offer him one of his favorite snacks.

-”Thanks moonlight, can I practice my shadow plays with you?”

-You nod and you enjoy the show he gives.

THE GOLD AND SILVER DEMONS-

-Yin and Jin were probably talking about plans to frighten MK and friends when they stumbled upon you.

-They kinda freaked out.

-”YIN, WHAT IS THAT?!”

-”A SNACK FIEND IS WHAT IT IS, WHERE’S THE BROOM?!”

-You just kinda stare at them before throwing snacks at them to calm them down, realizing it’s their favorite.

“Jin, I think it’s Y/N, only they know we like this, well, besides each other,”

“AND YOU WERE GOING TO HIT THEM WITH A BROOM, HOW DARE-”

-You pat the empty space next to you and the brothers sit, apologizing and talking about their plans.

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blackwoolncrown · 3 months

Note

i feel like people say boycott xyz megacorp every few months... wdym you werent already boycotting them for the last evil thing they did?? maybe commit to boycotts instead of treating them like trends

THANK YOU it's so fkn annoying like they're really not standing on anything, ever.

I saw a black girl on TT say americans were suffering 'spinal deficiency' bc they couldn't stand for shit and whooo boy is that ever it.

like it should not take boycotts due to genocide for you to have a smidgen of awareness about what you're supporting and idk maybe you should like...be able to sustain moral participation decisions even when there's no fkn hashtag???

Like me and all the other crazies have BEEN telling you to stop eating mcdonalds, to stop supporting water stealing soda companies, that hollywood is full of government mind control and military connections, that all this fkn tech is mined from key jungle biomes w slave labor and doesn't just come out of nowhere etc

but ppl are ~overwhelmed~ by boycotts and it's 'hard to keep up' and they get 'fatigue' more like amnesia after a week....

when really it's not that hard at all when you realize it's all the same shit just different products

stop buying into the bullshit and maybe, just maybe I won't see you compaining every week about how you were (willingly) fucked over by some new streaming show, or makeup company, etc.

Like at some point...you're an adult and you're choosing this bs jst like you chose not to listen to the 'crazy' ppl when we talked about this over a decade ago

these companies, ALL of them, do fucked up evil shit once every 3 months MINIMUM there's no excuse y'all just literally don't care.

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brettanomycroft · 26 days

Note

My brother in christ how was I not following you. Anyways I'm going to pretend you reblogged the character bingo because PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT MARTIN!?

I only just came back and realized I wasn't following YOU until like yesterday but now all is right and good in the universe.

Okay hoo-ee whooo boy let's talk about Martin. Fucking. Blackwood!!!

A lot of characters in The Magnus Archives are truly tragic (see: Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Sopping Wet Meow Meow Institute) - they are victims of their own Fears and pride, or are manipulated to literal Hell and back, lose or destroy the things most precious to them, succumb fully to the machinations of horrible Eldritch abominations, or just straight-up get dead.

But in my mind, Martin is one of the few characters who in not really a tragic character. Does bad stuff happen to him? Oh yeah. Does he make bad or morally questionable decisions? As the Antichrist's plus one, absolutely. Is he kind of wheedling and pathetic at times? Definitely. A manipulative little shit? 100%.

But there's very little that happens to Martin that he doesn't in some sense own. He puts himself in horrible situation after horrible situation (from willingly letting his boss force him to relive a twisted version of his own deepest trauma to agreeing to jump into a tear in the space-time continuum) with a very clear-eyed view of what he's getting into and why he's doing it. Martin sometimes gets accused by characters in the show of being foolish or bumbling or just following orders, but he makes it clear time and time again that He Understands What He's Doing. More so, it seems he really understands what he's doing without the sort of illusion of trying to maintain objectivity or trying to "do good."

That's not to say that Martin doesn't care - he cares fiercely about the people he loves and is willing to make the hard choice when it's the right one - but his gray morality (especially when it comes to himself) is part of what makes him such an appealing character to me. He knows that the choices he's making will hurt him, or are morally questionable, or may cause a bigger problem down the line. He also knows that at the end of the day, he's still going to make those choices. I think ultimately that's what lets him support and push John in the final season: Martin has few doubts about the path he's taken to get to this point, and so he's able to shoulder some of the shock and trauma John is rocked with when it hits him that he's at the catalyst for a literal apocalypse and spirals into unknowable "What ifs."

OF COURSE A LOT OF THE REASON MARTIN IS ABLE TO DO THIS IS BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME HE HAS LITTLE SENSE OF SELF-WORTH OR VALUE WHICH IS WHY INTO THE SALAD SPINNER HE GOES!!

Anyway, as someone who is a recovering people pleaser and is same hat when it comes to "Mommy issues" and "writing mediocre poetry," I really resonate with Martin's character in a lot of ways and think he's a lot of fun to write. Martin has a lot of nuance in his ability to seem unthreatening, using it to fly under the radar and still get what he wants (and in the end! He gets what he wants!!). I've read about people pleasing as a form of manipulation and, yeah, that's Marto to a T. But he's still also a soft and loving boy even as he advocates for his monster boyfriend to kill their enemies.

Personality aside, Martin is a canon Big Guy and there is something about trekking through the apocalypse with a guy who is big and tall enough to wrap me up in him that just makes me 😳😳😳😳 Like same, John, same. Some of my favorite Martin fics/Fanart feature situations where he's like a strapping farmer or breaks a zip tie with his bicep or just hauls people around and I am looking *so* respectfully.

#Sturionic #tma podcast #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #Ask #Character bingo

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