#this makes me emotional which i guess is kinda my own fault

[talesofesther]

I guess that's love

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Summary: Wednesday sees herself stuck in the memory of one night; the night you almost died. She feels it's her fault, your blood on her hands says as much.

A/N: This is loosely based on Can't Pretend by Tom Odell and After Hours by The Weeknd which was suggested by the lovely @abelvrla. Also, I think it's valid to say that this story is mostly me having fun with some of my favorite tropes, so idk if this turned out kinda bad or similar to any of my other works; but I do hope you can enjoy it anyway. <3

Word count: 4,5k of feelings.

Masterlist

It's red. All she sees is red.

It stains the white porcelain of the sink before going down the drain.

Blood never bothered Wednesday, one could say she enjoyed the sight of it.

Now, she's almost rubbing her hands raw. It's a hurried motion, she brushes the soap over her palm with urgency, clawing at her own skin under the running water; yet it's still there.

She feels a little nauseated. Maybe it's because her breathing is all over the place. Sometimes too fast; sometimes not fast enough, clogged up in her throat.

She washes. And washes. And… keeps washing. The skin of her hands becomes reddish. The blood — your blood — eventually, finally fades.

But does it really? Wednesday feels the stain to be permanent.

Looking down at her hands — her vision a little blurry but she doesn't think about that — she catches herself shaking. Her chest is impossibly tight, it hurts to feel the beating of her own heart.

How'd you do it? How'd you get her to dread your death?

She's disoriented when she exits the bathroom, not registering immediately where she is. The white walls of the hospital hurt her eyes.

It's been such a long night.

Is it still night?

The tie around Wednesday's neck seems to be choking her. She reaches her hands up to loosen it, but the feeling doesn't go away. She discards the garment altogether.

That's when she notices the blood stains on the cuffs of her white shirt. She curses under her breath. She wants to throw up. Or change out of these ruined clothes, but it feels like a waste of time.

"…nesday? Wednesday!"

She looks up upon hearing the calls of her name, only to see Principal Weems regarding her with evident worry. She's a little paler than usual, the night definitely hasn't been kind to her either.

There are only a few doctors walking around, some of them give Wednesday a strange look as they pass her by. A pungent smell of disinfectant hangs in the air. The sky outside the window bleeds in soft shades of dark purple and orange — the sun is already rising to a new day.

"You need to get checked out too, follow me." Weems reaches out to Wednesday's shoulder, trying to guide her to an empty room.

Wednesday ignores it, shrugging off the hand on her shoulder. "Where is she?"

Weems avoids her eyes then, sighing exasperatedly because she knows arguing will lead her nowhere; "she's being treated, we'll be able to see her soon."

"I want to see her now," Wednesday states, before walking past Larissa without even knowing which door she should go to.

"She's in surgery, miss Addams," Weems insists, finality in her tone. "We'll only make things worse going there now."

It's funny, how you've always told Wednesday she should put herself out there more, not be afraid to feel or let people close. Yet now you only prove her right in her reasoning that emotions only exist to torture people. Not in a good way.

But she did it anyway, didn't she?

She allowed herself to feel things.

Wednesday is frozen to the pristine tiles, her nails almost piercing her skin as she clenches her fists.

"I'm worried too, but all we can do now is wait," Weems softens once she notices the shaking of Wednesday's body. She takes a careful step closer to the girl, "if you don't want to see a doctor come back to the school with me, take a shower, put some clean clothes on. I'll drive you back when we're allowed to see her."

—

The warm water soothed Wednesday's muscles, it washed away the dried blood from her hair and the dirt clinging to her skin. It was relieving.

She's now standing in front of the bathroom mirror and the reflection staring back at her is not one she easily recognizes. Her skin looks paler than usual — if that's even possible — there are dark circles around her eyes and even she has to admit she looks exhausted.

Wednesday reaches a hand to touch her abdomen, nimble fingers tracing the spot that should be ripped open but isn't. Not even a scar remains; no telltales that she had been stabbed just a few hours ago.

She shivers at the thought. Death's cold embrace is a little more taunting when seen up close.

For a fleeting second, Wednesday catches herself planning to go to your room — as she usually did most nights before she pushed you away. She would sit beside you on your bed, her shoulder would brush yours and she'd comment about how you could even sleep in a bed this small, yet she wouldn't pull away. She'd talk with you about how good it felt to drive a knife into the old pilgrim's heart. Maybe she'd even tell you she had been scared. Maybe you'd try to hold her hand and she'd let you, gripping you tighter than she should.

Your comfort was Wednesday's most prized secret. You were her favorite broken rule.

The salty taste of a tear on her lips brings Wednesday back to reality. The reality where she doesn't have a single scar on her body and you're in a hospital bed fighting to stay alive.

She dries her cheeks harshly, turning around to put on her sweater and dark pants.

—

It's 6 PM when Principal Weems brings her back to the hospital and Wednesday is finally allowed into your room.

There's a stillness to it that she hates. You are too still. Several tubes are attached to your body as you lay on the hospital bed, there are bandages around your torso, some of them faintly tainted red. The machine that tracks your heartbeat is beeping in a lazy rhythm.

Wednesday doesn't dare breathe as she walks closer, stopping right beside you so she can cast over each scrape on your skin.

There was too much blood loss, Weems had told her moments ago. Wednesday knew that, she was the one who kept what was left of your blood inside your body until the ridiculously slow help finally arrived.

Weems also told her the bullet was short of doing major damage, and that despite now being weak, you were lucky and should wake up within a few days.

It does absolutely nothing to set Wednesday's heart at ease.

You're too still.

She can barely see your chest moving with the soft breathing. Your features are so serene, so emotionless. She could say you're dead if she didn't know any better.

Wednesday doesn't move for several moments, it's almost as if she's afraid to. She holds herself stiff at your side, glaring at you as if you'd wake up only to hear her scolding.

She hates that this is the first time she's been this close to you, in what? Two or three weeks?

It feels unfair, unfitting. Like it's all wrong.

But she can't complain. It's her fault.

A vain attempt at keeping you safe. Maybe it only made things worse;

—

"You know, as far as dates go, this is pretty creative," you told her, dodging fallen logs and rocks as you walked amongst the woods.

Wednesday turned back to look at you with an unreadable expression, "no one said this was a date."

"What would you call it then?"

"Investigating."

You groaned, falling into step beside Wednesday. Just so you could see the heavenly way the moonlight shaped her features. There was fog in the cold air, trees nothing but dark silhouettes around you; it suited her. "You're no fun."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Wednesday felt your hand brushing hers. She hated how it made her focus waver. "Besides, you're the one who agreed to accompany me."

"Of course I did," you explained easily, "you asked me to."

Wednesday gulped, things felt more intimate than they should when the only witnesses around you are trees.

"Why was that?" You dared take hold of her hand then, your cold fingertips closing around her own. She stopped abruptly, and you observed the way her shoulders tensed. "You say you don't need anyone, yet here I am."

Wednesday's breath turned shallow, she didn't feel like looking at you. Because you were right, it was a break in her pattern; her rules.

How'd you do it? How'd you get her to break her rules?

You came to stand before her, your other hand taking hold of her free one so you could pull her closer. And she let you. Another step and any left space between you will vanish.

"Why won't you tell me?" You asked for what felt like the millionth time, but you didn't really hope for an answer.

You're familiar with her. She allows you close; you hold her hand, you touch her cheek, you braid her hair. Yet she never tells you why she allows you to do it.

Wednesday kept her eyes focused somewhere on your lips, counting the specks of color there, still as a corpse.

She saw the ghost of a smile that came to your lips before you leaned closer. And alarms were blaring inside her head, her lungs aching because of how she refused to breathe; yet she didn't move away.

You kissed her softly, gently. Your lips mapped hers in a way that felt like it always should've been.

And she melted against you, her hands clutching yous.

But as all things do, as Goody warned her time and time again; it didn't last. Shockwaves cursed through Wednesday's body and she was taken to another reality.

A reality where you were screaming her name in one second, and the next you were laying on the dirty ground, a pool of blood forming under you.

Wednesday jumped away from you the second she came back to herself, her eyes wide and breathing frantically as she strived to not pass out from what she'd just witnessed in her mind.

You were speaking, trying to reach out for her again as you asked what was wrong.

Wednesday felt her eyes sting, all she could see was your blood on her hands.

—

Her vision from that night came back in the form of nightmares for many nights after. Getting Wednesday to start dreading sleep.

She remembers warning you to never come near her again just before she sprinted away, leaving you alone in the woods with no further explanation. She avoided you, accepting the fact you might hate her, but it was okay because you'd be doing it alive.

All in vain, because her vision became a reality anyway.

"How could you be so stupid?" Wednesday tells you, but only the hospital walls hear it. "Jumping in front of me like that, it was ridiculous. Don't you see it? That's why you should've stayed away."

It's useless, you won't wake up to hear her complaints.

Wednesday exhales sharply and turns away from you, "it shouldn't have happened, I tried to-" There's a lump in her throat, it tangles her words, "but you're so stubborn… If you die before me, I'll kill you, I will-"

I don't know what I'll do. Wednesday thinks to herself. She sits on the chair that's beside your bed, watching through the window as the sun hides behind Jericho's mountains.

"You're missing your stupid sunset," Wednesday finds herself whispering. A last attempt at getting you to open your eyes, because for some reason, you liked to see the ending of sunny days.

Nothing happens. You remain still. The beeping tracking your heart rate is still slow. The room remains too quiet.

Wednesday leans back on her chair, she stays motionless for several minutes; until her hand eventually finds you.

Wednesday wraps her fingers around the pulse point on your wrist, not trusting the machine to tell her you're not dead yet.

She holds tightly onto you. There's no one around to witness it.

—

You didn't wake up for four days. And every day, without failure, Wednesday came to see you. She'd sit beside your bed and wait, sometimes silent, sometimes speaking as if you'd talk back to her.

It was her own way of keeping herself calm, busy.

Though the sleepless nights were starting to take a toll on her; sour mood and thinner patience being her new normal, along with the dark circles around her eyes.

Every time she closes her eyes, she's back there — warm blood on her hands and your life slipping from her grasp — so she refuses to do it.

Enid has seen her roommate nap hunched over her desk too many times to not get worried, but with being shut out every time she asked what she could do to help, she eventually stopped.

Wednesday could hate you for messing up her life.

She doesn't.

—

The day you woke up, Wednesday was nowhere to be seen.

All of your friends came to see you, overwhelming you with love and tales about how each of them missed a part of you in their lives.

You felt sore all over, as if you'd been hit by a truck — getting shot then staying unconscious in bed for days will do that to someone, you figured.

Enid was the one who stayed to accompany you back to school when you were discharged from the hospital, along with Principal Weems, of course.

"It feels like I'm learning to walk all over again," you groaned, one hand coming up to clutch at your abdomen as you got to your feet.

"Take it slow, we've got time," Enid kindly held a hand out for you, which you promptly took.

There are a million questions swimming in your mind, losing these many days from your life feels strange. You halted but the world didn't.

You asked the one that you first thought of when you woke up; "Enid," you stop walking so you can look into her eyes, "how is Wednesday? Did she got hurt?"

A complicated array of emotions pass through Enid's features, too fast for you to put your finger on any of them. She looks at you with something akin to sympathy; "she's… fine." Enid chews on her bottom lip, pondering whether she should tell you or not. Naturally, she can't hold back, "she hasn't left your bedside once."

You must have looked rather surprised, because Enid keeps going; "it's true, there wasn't a day that she didn't come to see you."

You don't know how you should feel. You think it's unhealthy for your heart to be beating as fast as it is right now after what you've just been through, but you can't get it to slow down, not when such a bomb is dropped on you.

Almost a month ago, Wednesday told you to never come near her again. Today, Enid tells you she's been by your side this whole time.

"Why?" You ask.

Enid doesn't know the answer.

—

It feels like a fever dream. Your bullet wound, the hospital visits, the remains of the fight. Everything. It feels like it didn't happen.

Because when you got back to Nevermore, everything was back to how it was. The damage to the school was repaired, classes were steadily going back to being routine, and Wednesday hasn't looked in your mere direction once — she, being the epitome of healthy coping mechanisms and dealing with feelings, avoids you like the plague.

You asked Enid to tell Wednesday that your door was open if she ever wished to talk.

Several days have gone by already and she hasn't taken you up on your offer.

You walk out of the cafeteria with a heavy heart and twirling an apple in your hand. You miss her. You hate how your days still feel hollow without Wednesday's presence on them, it's weird because she's not the type of person who usually makes her presence known; but you miss the weight of her shoulder resting against yours, the familiar comfortable silence you'd share when only enjoying each other's existence while reading.

It's a grey day outside. You see her before you see anything else when you walk into the quad. She has her back to you, black braids haphazardly done falling over her shoulders as she sits with Enid on one of the tables.

The werewolf notices you and waves you over, an encouraging smile on her lips. You give her a look that shows your uncertainty, but she insists.

You take a deep breath and follow the stone path that leads to her table. There's a limp on your steps still, telltales of the fight; sometimes you feel the eyes of your peers lingering on you. You wonder what they're thinking about, what they see when they look at you. A brave hero or a stupid kid?

What do they see when they look at her? A lonely, unfortunate soul or the savior of the school?

You sit down beside Enid, consequently in front of Wednesday, your hands resting in your lap as your knee goes up and down anxiously.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Enid greets you happily, as if there isn't a tension thick enough to cut through in the air.

The question almost goes over your head. You're focusing on the Addams girl in front of you, on the way her knuckles suddenly go white as she grips the lunch tray like her life depends on it.

"I'm alright," you answer, eyes fixed on Wednesday — she holds you in a trance.

"I've been meaning to ask if you have the notes from our last class?" Enid continues, in a kind effort to make things less complicated.

"I uh-" you start, but cut yourself off when Wednesday hastily gets up from her seat, not sparing you a glance as she turns around and walks away.

You watch her retreating figure, the ends of her skirt bouncing with her steps. With a groan, you begrudgingly take a bite from your apple, "there's no figuring her out, I'm done," you mumble over your mouthful.

Though you're not sure if you truly mean it.

"Don't say that," Enid pouts, keeping her eyes on Wednesday until she disappears through the doors that lead inside the school.

"She made it explicitly clear she wants nothing to do with me, Enid," you shrug, a bittersweet smile tugging at your lips, "I think it's my fault anyway, so… I won't bother her anymore."

Enid turns, straddling the bench she's sitting on so she can fully face you; "what do you mean?"

You breathe in deeply, feeling the familiar flutter in your stomach just thinking about it. "A few weeks before all that shit happened, we shared a- a moment."

Enid instantly smiles, her eyes twinkling with excitement, "you kissed?"

You chuckle timidly, smiling along with the memory, "yeah," but your gaze dropped to your hands right after. "I think it was a mistake."

"I doubt it," Enid tells you confidently then, as if she's in on a secret you're not.

You raise an eyebrow at her.

Enid glances between you and the door that Wednesday had disappeared into, tasting the words on her tongue before she spills them over for you. She breathes in, and relents; "after you passed out…" she gulps, dreadful memory still fresh, "right after you got shot, from the blood loss. Wednesday, she- I never saw her so desperate."

Only from the emotions swimming in Enid's eyes, you could tell she was being honest. You couldn't help the tightness in your chest upon imagining Wednesday going through that.

"It was almost as if she knew you wouldn't make it, that you wouldn't survive," Enid keeps going, "or at least that's what she believed in."

Clarity shoots through you like a bullet as your eyes widened with the words. Ironic much, but that was the feeling.

Because there was a possibility, that Wednesday saw your misfortune before it even happened. Right when you kissed her, no less.

And if that was the case, you couldn't imagine the torment she's been under ever since.

—

The night is calm, you can see clouds shaping the moon as you walk the path outside that leads to Ophelia Hall. It's a little late, just past curfew but you prefer it that way — fewer people around, the hallways will be empty.

It's a struggle for you to walk up the stairs, you have to stop once to catch your breath and allow the nagging pain that shoots up your leg to subside. Details. Tonight feels important, because you're going to see her; you'll make sure of it, even if she insists otherwise.

You stop in front of the dark wooden door. If you strain your ears, you can hear the faint noise of her typewriter. Enid isn't there, you know she's at Yoko's room tonight — her idea, not yours. Privacy is important, she told you, right after all but commanding you to do what you're doing.

With a deep breath in and feeling more nervous than you thought you would, you raise your fist, and knock.

The typing noise stops, you hear her chair scratching the floor. You couldn't breathe even if you tried.

The door pulls open and your heart melts a little at the sight; Wednesday stands in front of you with a hoodie and sweatpants on, and her hair free of braids, clearly not expecting anyone to show up at this hour.

You're snapped out of your trance when you register the door closing again. You quickly hold it open with your hand; "hear me out, please."

"No," Wednesday huffs, "I told you to stay away."

"Yeah, and not much else," you push through, squeezing your way inside her room and closing the door behind you. Wednesday takes a big step back as if you'd burn her. It hurts. "Could've given me a reason."

With a deep breath in, Wednesday sets her jaw tight, "I don't owe you anything."

You avoid her eyes then, "maybe not, but I thought we had-"

"We didn't," Wednesday tells you, the shake of her voice makes you look up, and you think you see her eyes glistening, "we don't."

You nod slowly, and despite the bleeding of your heart, you speak softly; "did you see it?" You chew on the inside of your cheek, fumbling with your hands so they don't tremble, "that night, you had a vision didn't you? About what happened to me?"

There's a sudden stillness to the room that feels awfully familiar to Wednesday. She hates the way she can't seem to control her breathing pattern, she hates that the image of you in front of her is becoming blurry.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me? Because I got hurt?"

Your words urge Wednesday's mind to travel back to that night. She closes her eyes tightly, causing a tear to roll down her cheek and part of her wants to kick you out of the room for making that happen.

"You're a liability," she tells you the first thing her mind conjures up.

You chuckle humourlessly, "ouch, considering I saved your life that's-"

"Exactly the problem." Wednesday interrupts urgently, "are you stupid? If you insist on staying close to me you'll only hurt yourself." Her voice breaks at the end of the sentence, as if it caused her physical pain to speak.

You've never heard her this vulnerable, this scared. Your heart bleeds but for a different reason; for the affection you hold for her, for not being able to protect her from what happened. You take a step further towards her and breathe a sigh of relief when she doesn't take one away from you. "And what if staying away hurts me just as much? What then?"

It's quiet. Wednesday doesn't make a single sound. All you see are her cheeks slowly being stained with tear tracks as they roll all the way down to her chin and drip to the floor, her eyebrows scrunching in hurt. But she's so quiet.

You take one more step. "Tell me why."

A beat of silence, and then; "you made me… care about you and then you go and almost die." Wednesday chokes out angrily.

You smile sadly, finally hearing the words you've been chasing; though you'd prefer them in better circumstances, "caring about people can be… scary."

You don't think she registered that you were so close. Wednesday flinches when your hand touches hers, it's a ghost of a touch, barely there, yet it feels almost like an embrace.

"But I promise you, I'm not going anywhere," you say quietly, tears pooling at the bottom lid of your eyes as you carefully hold her hand properly.

Wednesday is frozen in place, it feels like someone reached past her ribs and is squeezing the organ that pumps her blood. She hates that she must look like a mess, yet this is the first time in weeks that she feels she can actually breathe. Part of her has been stuck on that night — hands stained with your blood as the paramedics take you away from her — until now.

Her fingers tentatively close around yours, her lips part and she struggles a little to get the words out, "it's not a promise you can keep."

"I can try," you whisper. You see it clearly in her eyes; the guilt she's been carrying. "What happened that night, it wasn't your fault, you have to know that, Wednesday."

"It was because of me," she reasons just as quietly, "and almost took you from me."

Goosebumps raise on your skin at her words. Your thumb gently traces her hand. It's private, it's delicate, it's a moment that belongs to you two only. "It'll take more than a bullet for you to get rid of me," you tease with a tearful grin.

Slowly, you bring her hand up so it rests over your chest; her palm flush with your skin as your heart beats rhythmically right underneath it. "I'm right here," you breathe.

It's all it takes for her to, finally, surrender. Wednesday stumbles forward, and you're there to catch her. Her head rests on your shoulder and her hands clutch at the fabric of your shirt to the point of ripping. You encircle your own arms around her waist, pressing her tightly to you.

Wednesday is still mostly quiet, the only thing you can hear if you focus hard enough is the occasional hitch of her breath. But you feel the way her tears soak your shirt, the way her body trembles as she gives her all to contain her sobs.

"There was… so much blood," is all she tells you, words muffled against your skin.

"I know," you slide one of your hands up to her head, entangling your fingers through her hair, "I'm so sorry it had to be you." You plant several kisses on her temple and on her hair, each one is a different promise.

I'm here.

I won't leave.

My blood will never be in your hands again.

You think she understands, because you feel her own lips brushing the skin of your shoulder; cold, damp with tears. Tender.

I love you.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @user284747 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @maria-403 @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @wol-fica @wednesdays-woes @vorsdany

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday addams x fem!reader #wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday addams x you #wednesdayedit #imagine #fanfic #fluff #angst #wednesday addams fanfic #jenna ortega #wednesday x reader #my story

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for distancing myself from my partner?

I, (17NB) and my partner (17NB) had a rough year. Thier family is super religious, and so is the place we live in, and we've had many fears about being outed. My family is less religious and I mostly raise myself so admittedly he's a lot more paranoid, and rightfully so I'd say. But ever since we've started dating I've had to ask them multiple times to improve thier communication.

To start off, I wish they were upfront, or atleast more firm about us breaking up, atleast in the first year. That wouldve solved a lot of heartbreak if they didn't want to be with me.

They dodged the question of physical intimacy of literally anything more than holding hands or cuddling multiple times, and yet mentioned they were ace offhandedly to a friend instead of giving me a straight answer (which I wouldve been fine with, I just wish they told me.) They tend to get angry quite easily and resort to snappish/ short answers, and, especially since them having a conversation with thier mom questioning thier sexuality, tend to abhor the smallest inkling of physical contact or sign that we're together, even if we're around friends who know, or alone.

After the conversation with thier mom, they asked to break up, but i basically pleaded for another chance and they agreed. I know it's my own fault at some point for beating a dead horse, but I recently had a conversation that kind of snapped the rose-tinted glasses right off.

We were discussing our futures, and there's a somber agreement neither of us will see each other again after school. Thats not what I'm upset about. They described having kids in a hetero marriage and joking to thier kids about the "wild" stuff they got up to in highschool like experimenting in a queer relationship, basically saying our entire 3 years of dating was a fluke or joke or experiment.

I realised this was the straw that broke the camel's back, they didn't really initiate or seem as eager as me about the sparse times we could go out alone together, they gave me a half finished craft I had to sew myself while I gave a painting for valentine's day, and various examples of bad communication. They're a good friend, I'm not so sure about partner.

So, I'm kinda trying to stop this year. I stopped frantically calling in school and rearranging lessons to be with them, I didnt spam text or think about making any gifts so far, I asked to have a..spicy experience with a friend or two (that my partner agreed with me doing). In my head I guess I told myself that we might call ourselves partners but the word just lost its meaning for us both.

So far, it's okay. It hurts, because it seems more like we're just friends instead of dating, but I want to focus on myself and my studies to get out of our really conservative area. Still, I feel guilty and a little resentful. I know I should've just accepted breaking up, but we're kinda codependant. They and I both know we can't be without each other.

They love me so much, I know that. They've done so so much for me and dragged me out of a horrible place pretty much single-handedly, they're just not great at communicating or emotional maturity. Also, they seem to think queer people go to hell in some self-imposed notion of religious guilt, and when I express resentment towards religions that push homophobia on thier followers they seem weirdly defensive of it.

For context, I have BPD (my partner has, for a long time being my 'favourite person') and what I'm reluctant to call "severe" trauma but it's been described as that. I'm genuinly curious to know if this is a result of some upbringing-induced overreaction or if its okay to just kinda give up on my own relationship. Yes, I'm aware that the best thing would be to break up but I dont think I could ever leave them, for some stupid reason.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[professional-demon-master]

Cutting you off pt. 5

Asmodeus

Light Angst/comfort good ending!

Asmo x MC! GN pronouns.

* Right off the bat you learned how emotionally open asmodeus was.

* Not only when it came to show lust related feelings. He was so open all the time, and you kinda guessed that plays a big part when it came to him being extremely liked everywhere.

* It didn’t matter where you were, Asmo was the center of attention, he had everybody at his feet and trying to get his attention.

* Which was kinda uncomfortable to you when you two were out trying to spend some quality time together.

* Like right now, you both were out in the fall, dancing and drinking, just the two of you.

* … the two of you and the demons that kept stealing Asmo's attention by the minute.

* First it was the one who came with two shots (for him and Asmo) and entangled Asmo's arm with his so they could drink it together. Then the demon who stole his attention with some idle chatting right in the middle of your own conversation, and don’t even get him started in the ones who kept asking him to dance.

“Asmo!” You touched his shoulder and he looked at you, interrupting the demon that was whispering by his ear. “Darling! I was looking for you!”

“Really? Cause I was waiting for you by the bathroom, where you said you’ll be!” You almost yelled due to the volume inside the club. “Sorry dear! I got a little bit distracted in the way” he chuckled, turned to the other demon and said something to him before returning to you. “Let’s go get another drink! You took so long I finished my cocktail!” You suppressed the need of telling him it wasn’t your fault, he wouldn’t even listen anyway and you didn’t wanted to spoil the night before it even began.

* The night kept on going and you really tried to not feel bad everytime Asmo left you to go hang out with literally anybody else.

* Your last straw happened at the dance floor. You were both dancing together, and then another demon got behind Asmo to dance with him, then another one appeared at his side.

* After another one completely blocked you from his view and Asmo didn’t even noticed, you slowly made your way to an empty table.

* You kept looking at him tho, hoping to see him looking at you, but it didn’t happened.

“What’s wrong love? You were there one moment and the next one I couldn’t find you!” Asmo grabbed your arm in a friendly manner while he got a little too close to you. “30 minutes ago” “what?” I left the dance floor 30 minutes ago and you just noticed” you crossed your arms looking at him.

Asmo rolled his eyes at you, looking annoyed. This happened everytime he drank enough, or when he was too drunk in self love, luckily for you both were happening tonight! He tended to be a little bit more irritable and acted without thinking.

He took a sip of a drink the demon by his side offered him. He smiled at you drastically changing his demeanor “Stop crying! Are you coming back to dance or what?”

“No, Asmo. I wanna leave” you admired a little bit nervous and irritated with the whole situation. “What? No! Why would we do that? Just come back with us, it’s still early!” He grabbed your hand trying to make you stand up. “It’s 3 am and I’m tired, please, let’s just come back.”

“Ugh, why are acting like such a baby? You just wanna ruin my fun!” He frowned a little bit mad, talking a little bit louder this time. “Me? You ruined my fun! You haven’t even looked at me since we got here.” “Oh, so that’s the problem! You’re just jealous! You want to be by my side always and it’s tiring!” You gulped, a little bit hurt, trying to excuse him. Asmo is always a little bit emotional and flirty, but with a couple of drinks in him he tended to let his sin override his better judgement. “Asmo, it’s time to go back…” “No! I’m sick of it! I’m Asmo! Avatar or lust! jewel of the heavens! I could have fun with everyone I could ever want but you keep trying to be by my side always, spoiling my fun!” This time a couple of demons started looking your way; Asmo got closer to your face and almost fell trying to take a step back, “You’re not good enough to be with me all of the time, get over it.” He spoke with a lower voice, his nose almost touching yours and his index finger poking near your clavicle. He pulled back, now letting you watch his face as he grabbed the other demons hand and a drink that another person offered him. “I’ll go home when I feel like it” he spoke loudly, but not quite yelling. You felt ashamed, demons were now returning to their own conversations but that didn’t stopped a few of them from looking at you mockingly, another couple of them with pity.

You almost ran out of the club, trying to get home before you started ugly crying in the street.

* By the next morning you woke up with puffy eyes and a sore throat.

* You did your best to make your eyes look normal before getting breakfast.

* When you arrived there you were thankful to notice Asmo wasn’t there. It wasn’t abnormal, almost every time he went out, he would wake up later than usual.

“We didn’t expected you here this early” Lucifer’s voice made you snap out of your own thoughts. When you looked confused he explained, “You went out with Asmo last night, didn’t you? You must have returned pretty late.”

“Oh” your stomach hurt, of course you weren’t going to tell him about Asmo's actions from last night and how you ended up coming back on your own way earlier than he did. “I just… came back earlier, he ran into some friends and I was too tired to keep partying”. When the whole table looked convinced at your story, you silently exhaled and went back to looking at your plate, trying to concentrate in what the brothers were talking about instead of what was going on in your head.

* Your efforts to avoid Asmo during the weekend worked. Whenever you were at HoL you tried to stay in hidden in whatever room the brothers were at, and when it was time to eat you’ll convince Beel to go out.

* It wasn’t just your work either. Asmo had also restrained himself from spending time with you.

* He didn’t actually remember all of the fight from the day prior - not as intense as it actually was anyways - but it was pretty common for you to be mad the day after a big party.

* Whatever reason it was, he always knew you would probably be mad at him after partying and kinda ignored you the day after that, but never actually apologized

* The firsts times this happened, you didn’t think much of it. He was drunk so he probably didn’t remembered, and you were also drinking so maaaaybe you overreacted, right?

* Of course as time passed, you started getting this feeling that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Why didn’t he talked to you? Why didn’t he apologized? Didn’t he wanted to knew what he did to make you upset?

* So when this whole situation happened at The Fall, it was your breaking point.

* Not talking to you? Fine! See what I care. This time you weren’t gonna come back like nothing had happened, he embarrassed you! And in front of a really good amount of demons, nonetheless!

* So when Monday rolled around and you didn’t answered Asmo's singsongy ‘good morning’, he found it weird.

* And it wasn’t just that. The whole breakfast you would talk to his brothers pretty normally, but whenever he started talking too, you would go completely silent. His brothers didn’t seem to notice it but he did! And it was making him upset.

* You didn’t sit with him in the class you both shared today, nor did you pass notes during the lesson.

* And don’t even get him started on the way you also ignored him during diner.

* He was so mad he had the fight himself to avoid frowning all day long. A little misunderstanding like this wasn’t going to give him a wrinkle

* The next day he was hopeful you would have time to talk it out, you both use to walk together on Tuesdays since you two had an early class together.

* But when you left as soon as he was joining breakfast with the excuse that Solomon and you were going to meet up to study before class started, all his hopes deflated and he started to felt a disgusting feeling growing in his stomach.

* He wasn’t going to give up that easily, oh no. He actually got to class early and made sure that everybody was sitting anywhere but beside him, so you two would have to sit together.

* And so you did. He had a relaxed smile while he watched you writing notes as the lesson began.

* “Hey Mc ~ want to meet up in my room before dinner so we can do homework together? We can also try this new face mask that I bought. It’s supposed to be amaziiing” he whispered, or tried at least, while leaning in to you. “No, thank you. Satan is helping me with homework today.” You answer was so harsh he felt shocked for a second. “O-Oh, that’s okay darling” he tried to sound as okay as he could, since when did you declined an offer to be with him?

* He tried talking to you again after the lesson ended but you practically ran out of class. He did his best to catch you and your last class of the day, waiting patiently next to your locker.

* You were too concentrated in your DDD to actually look at him before you arrived, leaving you unable to escape him this time.

* “Hello Mc~, I was looking for you all day!” You looked at him briefly before returning your eyes to your locker, opening it and changing some of the books you were holding. Asmo took your silence as a sign to continue, “Wanna walk home together? I saw this cute ice cream stand on the way here, we could go there and take some photos together for my feed too!” You closed your locker, finally looking at him, “No, I’m okay” Asmo frowned, “what do you mean you’re okay?” “I just don’t want to” you tried to leave the conversation there, but Asmo grabbed your wrist before you could escape. “Why… have you been avoiding me?” It was your time to frown, having to fight to keep your mouth closed instead of letting it hang open due to the surprise. Really? “Are you serious, Asmo? You don’t remember how shitty you were with me?” “Ugh, is this about the Saturday thing? Seriously?” “Yes seriously! You embarrassed me and you were extremely rude to me. It was completely uncalled for!” Asmo rolled his eyes “ugh, okay. I didn’t knew it meant so much to you. Im sorry, okay?” He exhaled “Now can we move forward?” You kept your lips in a thin line, feeling anger and sadness mix in your chests making you feel like you were about to slap him and cry in any second. “No. I’m done with this endless loop of you being mean to me whenever you want and me just letting it slide without even getting an apology. Forget it.” You jerked your wrist out from his hand. “I don’t want to be around you, Asmo. You hurt me and you don’t even seem to notice or care” you spoke calmer this time looking at him. His expression was hard to read, was he annoyed? Or just indifferent? “Goodbye, I’ll walk myself home” you practically ran down the stairs while Asmo stood in place. Hurt them? He knew he was a little bit more blunt than usual when he had a some cocktails on him but still, he didn’t said anything that bad, did he? It was probably just that you were touchy and emotional whenever you had alcohol in. It had to be that.

* “Ugh, whatever” he muttered while trying to avoid his shocked expression show. He didn’t needed this, he could get any friend he wanted. If MC wanted to act like a child, so be it.

* Asmo was doing good. Great, actually.

* He used to spend so much time with MC he almost forgot how many people wanted to be with him!

* He had a different companion every lunch, a group of demons following him around when he went out shopping and don’t even get him started about the invitations to go out he had almost every night.

* Wanted to do his skincare routine with someone? No problem, a demon is arriving before he could even begin to ask him. Asmo wanted to have a shopping spree and needed someone to ask for opinion? The demon that was in his history class was there.

* He didn’t even thought about your fight for days!

* Until he saw you eating near the fountain with the twins and Mammon.

* He was on his way to meet another group of demons who asked him to eat together that day. Too into his own mind to realize you were there before seeing you foreground.

* It was… weird. The way you were hanging with his brothers felt different than his recent lunch dates.

* You were sitting in the grass, Beel by your side, eating a burger and fries at the same time, Mammon in front of you talking about something he ignored and Belphie laying in your lap, falling asleep with a smile in his face while he commented something he couldn’t decipher either. You laughed and started caressing Belphie's hair. You started talking with a smile plastered in your face, one that made Asmo feel strange.

* When was the last time he had any meaningful conversation with the people he had been hanging out with? He tried to ignore it, but most of the time they wouldn’t talk or would just praise whatever he would say.

* He hated the upsetting feeling that was settling in his stomach. He hated even more that he j ew how he could fix it.

* That day he ate alone.

* And his after school meetings didn’t went very well either. He had a couple of demons getting a spa treatment with him, in a salon full of people, but he never felt more alone.

* After 30 minutes of demons listening to him bickering about nothing in particular, he decided to try to recreate the kind of atmosphere he had when hanging out with the MC.

* “So… have any of you done anything interesting lately?” The demons looked at him, confused “Nothing as interesting as the things you do everyday, Asmodeus.” One of them answered with a smile plastered on their face. “Well, but like, none of you do anything outside of waiting to hang out with me?” They looked at each other and shook their heads “you don’t have any good stories to chit chat about? A new series you started watching? A weird fixation you know way too much about?” “Do you want us to have some of those? We could create something right now!” Asmo fought to keep his sadness hidden. “Ugh… no, forget it. It’s not the same” he let out a sigh, “let’s just get this over with.”

* That night Asmo felt lonelier than he did before. It wasn’t just the fact that he noticed how empty those demons were, it was the fact that none of them was as interesting and comfortable to hand around as you, MC.

* And whats even worse, none of them stay around enough. They like Asmo for what he has and gets, not for who he is and what he has to offer outside of his lust and social position.

* Yes, a lot of people want to hangout with Asmodeus, avatar of lust, but not a lot of them want to stay with Asmo. And even if they did, none of them are you, MC.

* The next day Asmo convinced himself that he needed to get back his situationship with you.

* Even if he had to accept he fucked up and needed to apologize.

* He tried, he really tried to work up the courage to go and talk to you, but, weirdly, he felt nervous.

* What if you realized you actually were better without him? What if you had actually replaced him with his brothers? You did look happy these last days.

* And what’s even worse, he could never catch you alone!

* He tried to talk to you before the first period, but you were too busy hanging around Satans locker, helping him carry some books back to the library.

* During lunch Diavolo and Bsrbatos were all over you, talking about some human realm festival that was happening next month.

* And in the classes you were together, you had already found other partners for every activity. It was frustrating and infuriating. What did everyone else had that he didn’t?

* “… so this is how Levi feels, uh?”

* But finally, and after waiting for a long time, he caught you alone reading in a bench while waiting for Mammon to walk home together after class.

* He took a big breath before walking to you, hands in his side and lips pursed

“Hey, Mc. Can we… talk?”

You raised your face yo look at him and he felt nervous for a minute. This was so unlike him it was making his tummy feel weird. “I suppose.”

Asmo sat down in the bench, letting a small silence cover your conversation. “I’ve missed you, MC” “really? Didn’t seemed like it” Asmo intertwined his fingers, “yeah, I know. I’ve spent all week looking for ways to avoid thinking about you, but I’ve failed, clearly.”

You looked at him before turning your face back to your book. Asmo felt frustrated, too many feelings in his chest but only so much he could express with words. “I’m sorry Mc, I really do. And I’m sorry it took me this long to say it, and to realize that I could never replace, not even if I tried” You turned the book back down and he took that as a sign to keep going. “I really thought about everything I do remember from that day and even though it’s not much, I know I can be a little difficult to deal with when partying and I’m sorry, I must’ve gutted you pretty bad, but I don’t want yo be that person again, I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” Asmo exhaled and kept going this time getting a little closer, “It’s completely okay if you don’t want to forgive me, really. I hurt you, and I never want to be that person again. I swear, if you give me another chance, this won’t ever happen again. I don’t want you to feel unappreciated ever again.” He took your hand, slowly, trying to see if there were any signs of resistance. “And I just… I wanted you to know that you are important to me and nothing could ever replace you. I want to do better for you because you’re worth it.”

You looked at Asmo for a really long time before actually breaking a little smile, tears gathering in your eyes. “Oh Asmo.” You went in for a hug, that Asmo quickly deepened, pulling you as close as he could. “That’s all I wanted. For you to say you’re sorry and to acknowledge my feelings. I don’t want us to grow apart.” “Me neither! Do you know how boring and sad my days were without you around?” You laughed a little, your face buried in Asmo's neck “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” “Hey Asmo, it’s okay. We’ll work on it together, okay?” “Yes, please. I don’t want us to fight ever again”

Asmo let you go after a while, holding you by the shoulders. “So, spa day to celebrate?”

Asmo has really grown on my these past months

#obey me mc #obey me scenarios #obey me #obey me angst #obey me asmo x mc #asmodeus avatar of lust #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus x reader

[mountain-in-springtime]

somethin' stupid (like i love you)

pairing: sam x reader | word count: 5.3k | warnings: kissing, language, alcohol consumption | my masterlist

summary: you and sam have been best friends for years, but the presence of three little unsaid words could be enough to tear you apart.

author's note: Y'ALL this is my longest fic ever like what is happeningggg?? anyways, this fic is almost entirely unedited aside from whatever grammarly told me to fix lol but i love her anyways. i was unsure of how to format this, and i was kinda worried that it was corny, but i think i'm really happy with this one. it makes me so very soft. also it's based off of the song somethin' stupid, which is one of my songs of all time and is also linked below!

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The icy night air stung your cheeks as it whipped around you, making your hair tumble from its carefully done style, and you were sure that you would wake up with a cold in the morning with the way the weather turned you into a sniffling mess. You guessed it was partially your fault for not grabbing a jacket when you and Sam had snuck your way from the cramped, sweltering space of your high school gym, but in your defense, you hadn’t had a lot of time to think it over. You were laughing and dancing with one of your friends, swaying with giddy delight when you felt a hand grasp your own. After whipping around, you saw that it was your best friend, his expression pleading as he made his request.

“Let’s get out of here,” he had said, and you followed without a single question as to why. Next thing you knew, you were walking hand-in-hand down the empty streets, wandering aimlessly in silence. Occasionally, you would hear a quiet sniffle from him, and you couldn’t be sure if it was a product of the environment or something else entirely.

After many minutes of wordless strolling, the two of you came across a playground. Void of any of the childish giggles and shrieks it usually fosters, it was almost an eerie sight. Still, you went with Sam as he turned toward the old, rusty swing set. The seat creaked as he sat down, and the chain on yours squeaked as it gave with your weight. You turned to your friend, studying the serious expression he wore as he gazed downward and kicked the pebbles that littered the ground below him. 

“You okay?” you prompted, hoping for him to open up. He kept his eyes away from your own but held his hand out beside him. You reached your own out to him, and he linked his pinky with yours. It was a small gesture, but it didn’t go unnoticed by you. Even when he was hurting, Sam was sure to give you reassuring bits of affection, making it clear that it wasn’t you he was upset with.

“She dumped me,” he finally said after a long moment. His voice lacked any of its characteristic light, and his eyes stayed trained on the ground. The long waves of his thick hair hung like curtains that obscured his face from your view, something you figured he was grateful for. 

You sighed and reached out a sympathetic hand, resting it on his arm. “Oh, Sam,” you mumbled, “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” 

“I know. That’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you. I… couldn’t,” he answered, his voice quiet and strained. 

A moment of silence fell between you as you took in what he had said. “Why?” you finally asked, and you could feel the weight of the question hanging in the air the minute you uttered it. 

Sam let out a long sigh before answering. “Because… you never liked her anyway. I thought if I told you, you’d just rub it in my face that you were right.” 

His confession hit you like a ton of bricks as you say there, feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. “Oh, shit, Sam. I… I never meant to make you feel like that. I’m sorry,” you whispered, “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” he replied through a deep breath. You knew he could tell how bad you felt. Sam was always so in tune with your emotions, quick to lift you up when you were down, but in this moment, you couldn’t let him do that. 

“No, it’s not,” you corrected, shaking your head, “It’s really not, Sam. I’ve been a shitty friend. I thought that I was looking out for you, but I was just being a jealous asshole. I think seeing you so happy with someone else… it made me feel left out, y’know? But that’s not your problem, it’s mine. I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about your relationship, and that’s messed up. I’m sorry.” You turned to face him and were surprised when he was already looking at you. 

His grip on your pinky moved to your entire hand as he laced his fingers with yours. He wore a gentle smile as he shook his head softly. “No need for an apology. I already forgave you, silly,” he mumbled, brushing stray hairs from your forehead. His hand cradled the back of your head and pulled you forward. You sighed softly as his lips grazed your temple. “I could never stay mad at you, y’know,” he said quietly. 

You nodded. “I know,” you teased, “You love me too much.” 

He let out a small chuckle and looked down at you. “You got that right. You’re the best friend I have,” he answered. His arm rested across your shoulder, pulling the two of you close despite the groans of the swings you occupied. You tilt your head up, your chin resting on his chest as you meet his gaze. You wished that you could keep this moment in a capsule and return to it over and over again, but you knew that there was more that needed to be said. 

“Sam? You wanna talk about it? The breakup, I mean,” you offered, not wanting to pry but also desperately wanting to be there for him. 

He gave his head a small shake as he continued to smile down at you. “Nah, it’s okay. I kinda knew it was coming.,” he explained, “She was pulling back. I just tried to ignore it. Told myself I was making it up, y’know?” He said it more like a fact than a question, punctuating it all with a long sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” you replied, unsure of what else to say. You looked down at his hand in yours, turning it over and examining his long, slender fingers. You thought about how funny it was that even up close Sam was so beautiful and warm. He was perfect down to each minutia of his being. Your fingers traced along his knuckles, transfixed in the dips and curves between them. You grazed his fingertips and felt the rough calluses that had formed there from years of practice and passion. It was like you had fallen into your own private world as you stared at the canvas of your best friend’s palm. 

A small chuckle from Sam pulled you from your daze, his laughter vibrating through his chest and flowing into you. You wore an expression that fell somewhere between amusement and confusion as you looked up at him. “What?” you asked with a soft giggle. 

He shook his head as he held his fond expression. “Nothing,” he answered, “You look pretty when you’re all focused like that. Your brows get all scrunched, and your face gets all serious.” He tried and failed to mimic your expression, falling into a fit of wild, bubbling laughter.

You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful look. “That doesn’t sound pretty, Sam,” you chided jokingly, “You make me look like a doofus.” You shoved him lightly, making him only laugh harder.

He shook his head, fighting off his persistent chuckling as he placed his hand on your cheek and tucked a windswept strand of hair behind your ear. “Trust me, sweetheart. You look so pretty right now,” he whispered. Your heart jumped at how shamelessly he said it, making it impossible to not believe him. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to calm your racing pulse. 

“Yeah?” you questioned teasingly, “You’re not too bad yourself, y’know.” Your cheeks felt hot as you said it, and you could feel creeping regret encompass you as you were suddenly afraid that you had gone too far and ruined the moment, but a small laugh from Sam calmed you instantly in a way that only he seemed able to do.

He mirrored your question, “Yeah?” His gaze pierced your own, freezing you in place despite your desire to look away and hide your growing bashfulness. You felt completely bare before him, like he was seeing every piece of you, and you weren’t sure if you could handle it or if you even wanted to. Just when it became too much to bear and you moved to turn away, you felt Sam’s fingers grip your chin, keeping you facing him. “You scared?” He asked quietly, his voice even and sincere.

You hesitated before answering, unsure of what the honest answer was. Your heart was racing faster than it ever had, and you felt like you were seconds away from passing out, but as you stared up at Sam, you had never felt safer. You were scared out of your mind, but you knew that he would never lead you astray. You shook your head. “I’m alright, Sam,” you answered shakily. 

He smiled softly. “Good,” he cooed as he leaned forward, stopping when his lips were only centimeters from yours. His eyes flitted up to meet your own, silently giving you one last chance to back out. You let out a nervous breath and smiled at him before closing the gap between you, hesitantly locking your lips with his. You heard Sam gasp quietly in surprise, and he stayed still for a moment of pure shock before kissing you back in earnest. His hand on your cheek moved to the back of your neck, pulling you close with all of the gentle passion in his body. You squeezed his hand as you sighed softly into his kiss. Everything around you melted away. There was no playground, no icy wind, and no pressure to be anything but yourself. It didn’t matter where this went or what it would mean for you and Sam tomorrow. All that mattered was this beautiful, messy, perfect moment between the two of you as you made your undefined and unexplored love for each other tangible between squeaky swings and shuffling rocks. 

*

Sam may not be right about a lot of things, but he sure was right about one: you really needed to learn to pace your drinking. You stumbled about Josh’s house, placing your hands on empty walls, wobbly shelves, and innocent party-goers in an attempt to steady yourself. Occasionally, you would spot someone you recognized and slur out a desperate “Where’s Sammy?” to which you would get pointed in a direction that never seemed to be where he actually was. After a few minutes of aimless wandering you gave up and decided to make your way to the kitchen. Your stomach had been growling endlessly for about fifteen minutes, and you had ignored it for just about as long as you could in your drunken state. As you crossed the threshold into the kitchen, your foot caught onto a statue near the entryway, sending you tumbling downward. You yelped and braced yourself for impact, but at the last moment, you felt strong hands grip your arm and waist and pull you back up. You mumbled out a quick thanks before turning towards your savior and seeing a familiar face.

“Oh, Sammy!” you gasped, “There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” You giggled softly and pulled him into a crushing hug, making it his turn to give a surprised yelp, which was followed promptly by his signature, good-natured laugh. 

“Looking for me? What do ya need me for?” he asked. He kept a hand on each of your arms as he talked to you, making sure you didn’t take another dive toward the hardwood floors. 

You stared blankly for a moment before shrugging. “Don’t remember,” you answered before a look of realization crossed your face, “Oh, yeah, I’m drunk. And hungry.” Your stomach growled loudly, cementing your latter point. “See?” you added, pointing to your belly.

He let out a bark of laughter before he looked at you with a smug grin. “Lemme guess, you didn’t listen when I said that doing all those shots with Jake and Josh was a bad idea, huh?” his voice had a tinge of prideful victory, and it was putting a serious damper on your excitement at finding him. 

You let out a groan and stuck your lip out in a pout. “It’s their birthday, Sammy. What kind of friend would I be if I turned down shots?” 

“A sober friend,” he countered with a chuckle, “Besides, they’re professional alcoholics. No one can keep up with them.” He pulled you into his side and ruffled your hair slightly.

“Hey!” you whined, swatting his hand away from your now-tangled hair, “You know, I think you only say that no one can keep up with Jake and Josh because you’re a lightweight.” You look up at him, wiggling your eyebrows in an act of challenging playfulness. 

He rolled his eyes. “Watch it there, sweets. Don’t wanna bite the hand that keeps you from falling on your ass,” he quipped, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as he felt you shift your weight from one foot to the other. 

“Whatever,” you dismissed with a scoff, “You know I’m right, though. That’s why you never drink much at these parties.” Now it was your turn to look up at him smugly, your nose scrunching slightly. 

He brought his other hand forward and tapped the tip of your nose with his index finger playfully. “You wish,” he said with a smirk, “I don’t drink because I know you’re gonna get wasted and beg me for a ride home. What you gotta say about that one?” His gaze on you was triumphant as he expectantly waited for you to answer.

You opened your mouth to protest but stopped as your cheeks flushed, and your face grew into a half-hearted glare. “Can we get Taco Bell on the way home?” you finally asked defeatedly. 

You felt Sam shake with laughter as he nodded, “Sure,” he agreed, “Now, c’mon, let’s go say bye to everyone. Don’t wanna be bad guests, now do we?” You nodded in reply, and he started to guide you out of the kitchen in search of his brothers. Finding them proved to be anything but a difficult feat, considering that all it took to find Josh was to listen for the loudest person and head in their direction. Jake, of course, was right beside his twin, Josh’s arm wrapped affectionately around his shoulders. After wishing them goodbye and a happy birthday and assuring them that while, yes, you’d love to stay, you really did have to go home, you set your sights on finding Danny. He was just as easy to find as the twins, pouring himself another drink and making friendly conversation with some of the other guests. You and Sam bid him farewell and began to make your way out of the house. You clung desperately to Sam’s side as you made it through the living room, and only three extra goodbyes and one near-faceplant later, the two of you had made it outside and all the way to Sam’s car. He unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you, helping you climb inside. 

“Thank you, Sammy,” you mumbled, “You’re a real sweetheart.” You gave him an affectionate pat on the arm, which he returned before shutting the car door and moving to the driver’s side. 

“Alright,” he said as he sat behind the wheel, “You ready to go? Got your seatbelt buckled?” 

You gave a gasp of realization, “Oh!” The seatbelt made a loud zipping sound as you pulled it across your body. Sam watched with fond amusement as you tried again and again to click the buckle into place, finally nailing it on your fourth try. “Got it!” you exclaimed, all giggles and excitement. 

He laughed along with you as he backed out of Josh’s driveway and set off down the road. You let the time pass between you, an ever-flowing stream of consciousness pouring from you as you shared anything and everything on your mind. Sam listened to every word, never interrupting or making you feel silly for your drunken rambles. It was the kind of thing that you’d really appreciate and probably comment on if you were a little more sober. 

Eventually, you felt the car slow down as Sam pulled into the Taco Bell drive-thru. An excited squeal left your throat as the car rolled to a stop. He rolled down the window, and a few moments later the metallic voice rang through the speaker, asking for your order. You heard Sam ask for a moment before he turned to you with a lopsided grin. “Alright, what are you having, sweets?” he asked.

You gave a loud, exaggerated hum as you thought it over, staring at the menu through the windshield. “Ummm, quesadillas,” you finally answered, “Oh, and a Mountain Dew, please. A big one.” You held your hands up and mimed the shape of a comically large drink. Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled softly in response, ordering quickly and driving up to the window. You leaned over and reached down for your purse. As you picked it up with a victorious huff, you stuffed your hand inside, fishing around for your wallet. However, your movements stopped when you felt Sam’s hand on your arm.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told you, shaking his head as he pulled out his own wallet from his pocket. He moved to take out his card but stopped with a sigh as you shoved a few bills his way. 

“Lemme pay, Sammy,” you pleaded, “People are gonna think I’m a gold digger if you’re always buying.” You hoped your attempt at a joke would make him give in, but it seemed that the odds weren’t in your favor as he shook his head again, pushing the bills away. 

“Nice try,” he said as he handed his card to the woman at the window, “Besides, we’re not even dating. No one’s gonna call you a gold digger.” He laughed, mostly to himself, and took his receipt from the cashier. You pouted slightly as you heard her tell him to pull into a parking spot, letting him know that the food would be out in a few minutes. 

You were about to open your mouth to complain about how hungry you were, but when you looked at Sam, the thought was erased from your mind. The glow of the parking lot lights washed across his features, making them seem beautifully sculpted and impossibly soft all at once. His lips looked plush and full as he sang along quietly to the radio, and the way his lashes fluttered with every blink was enough to make your heart beat out of your chest. 

Before you could stop yourself, you reached out with one hand, gently touching his cheek. “You’re so pretty, Sammy,” you whispered as your thumb brushed along the smooth skin of his cheek. He laughed softly and thanked you, but you shook your head, feeling a burning need to make him understand. “No, I mean it,” you insisted, “You’re beautiful. The light makes your face look so good.” You leaned over the center console, craving to be close to him. 

You didn’t notice the soft flush of his cheeks, but you felt his hand grab yours softly and place it back in your lap. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he answered with a small smile playing across his lips, “You look really nice, too. Even if you’re a little sauced.” 

You sigh, ignoring his playful dig at your current state. Your gaze stayed trained on him for a few more lingering moments. “You look the way you did in the playground that one time,” you mumbled, and you felt your cheeks heat up even as you said it.

“Yeah?” he asked, tensing slightly and gripping the steering wheel tighter with his left hand, his right one drumming on the gear shift. 

You nodded. “Yeah. I think about it a lot. Do you?” you asked with such unfiltered candor that Sam couldn’t deny you the truth. 

“Yeah. Sometimes,” he uttered, his eyes staying trained forward, unable to face you. It was only when he felt your soft grip on his chin that he turned. 

“I wanna kiss you, Sam,” you blurted. The words hung in the air, and you desperately wanted to take them back, but it was too late, and as much as you could try to deny it in the morning, they were all true. 

He searched your face for a few seconds, confusion and heartbreak dancing over his features. “No, you don’t, sweets. You’re drunk,” he muttered with a shake of his head, “You’re just getting in your head and saying things that you don’t mean.” His hand firmly but gently gripped your wrist, pushing your hand away. You moved it back immediately, your face holding a look of vulnerable want. 

“No,” you protested softly, “Drunk or sober, this is what I want. I just… I’ve never been brave enough to say it before. Please, Sam, you know I love you.” You leaned forward slightly, praying to whatever powers that be that maybe he would feel the same way, but he only shook his head, placing his hand over yours. 

His voice came out in a pained whisper, punctuated with a shake of his head, “I love you, too.” They were the exact words you wanted to hear, but you never knew how painful they could be. What you thought would be a heartfelt confession became the biggest rejection of your life. You opened your mouth to speak back, to ask why he didn’t want you if he loved you so much, but you were cut off as a woman approached the car, knocking on the window and handing Sam your food. You sat in a terrible silence as he placed your drink in the cup holder and handed you the brown paper bag. He stared ahead for a moment before sighing and putting on a half-hearted smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Alright, sweets. Let’s get you home.” And just like that, the moment was over. 

*

Hot tears poured down your cheeks, burning your skin and making you choke with every sob. You wiped your nose with your sleeve, not caring how gross you would normally find the habit. Your knees were pulled tightly to your chest as you sat perched on your couches. After a few moments, your breathing slowly evened out, and you took a deep breath before reaching for your phone, dialing quickly and praying for an answer. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” you heard Sam’s voice from the other line, full of cheer and affection. The sound of him alone was enough to pull fresh tears from you, pouring out in loud cries. He responded immediately with concern, “What’s wrong?” His question was simple. He never pushed too far, and it was something you appreciated now more than ever. 

You sniffled loudly for a few moments before answering. “I dumped Austin,” you sobbed, “Can you please come over?” 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Do you need anything?” He asked, his answer swift and to the point. 

After a few moments of silent thought, you whimpered back, shaking your head, “No, just get here as soon as you can, please.” Your grip on your phone was tight and desperate as if holding it close would bring Sam to you faster. 

“Alright. I’ll be there soon. You hang in tight, okay? I love you,” he cooed, slowly easing your nerves, making your breath still.

“Okay,” you sighed, “Thank you, Sammy. I love you, too.” You hung up the phone and took a deep breath. All you wanted was to ball back up on the couch and scream, but you decided that you should try getting yourself together before Sam arrived. You were sure he wouldn’t mind if you were a blubbering mess, but it wasn’t like he could help you much if you could barely speak. 

You walked into your kitchen, throwing open your freezer and grabbing a tub of ice cream. It made a soft thudding sound as you dropped it unceremoniously onto the counter and swung the door to the freezer closed. Next, you pulled open the drawer nearest to the stove, grabbing a spoon for yourself and an extra one for Sam. The old barstool that was posed near your kitchen island screeched as you dragged it towards you, and it creaked loudly when you sat upon it. You mentally reminded yourself to look for new barstools and yanked the lid off of the ice cream, scooping a large spoonful and shoving it into your mouth. The sugar truly did little to lift your spirits, but at least it didn’t make you feel worse. At least that was what you were telling yourself when you heard a knock at the door, signaling Sam’s arrival. 

You got up from your place at the counter and plodded to the door. As you opened it and saw your friend’s face, you fell into his arms in a tight, bone-crushing hug. “Hey, Sammy,” you mumbled into his chest. 

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he answered. You felt his hand splayed out across your back, rubbing up and down in a comforting gesture. After a moment, he spoke again. “You okay?” he asked, his voice full of gentle concern. 

You let out a long sigh. “Yes. No. I don’t really know,” you whined, “I feel so bad, Sam. He had no clue it was coming.” Your head fell forward, landing in your palms as you rubbed your temples in frustration and uncertain grief. You slowly moved back to the kitchen and plopped back into your chair. 

“I thought things were going really well,” Sam asked, following you and sitting beside you at the counter. 

You nod as you take another bite of ice cream and nudge the extra spoon in his direction. “It was. I mean, he was so sweet and nice. He would come to all my family stuff, even when he knew he didn’t have to, and he was always doing all these sweet little things to make sure I knew he cared. Flowers, chocolates, the whole nine yards, y’know? He was the best boyfriend I ever had,” you shared, one long stream of consciousness pouring out of you. 

Sam sat in silence for a moment, taking in what you had to say. Then, he gave a long sigh and finally answered, “I don’t understand then, sweets. Why’d you dump him?” 

It was your turn to give a sigh in response, paired now with a shake of your head. “I didn’t love him,” you said quietly, “I tried. I tried so hard to love him. I mean, why not, y’know? He was a nice guy, the kinda guy I should consider myself lucky to be with. But I just couldn’t do it. No matter how hard I tried.” Tears started to roll down your cheeks again and your shoulders started to shake as Sam pulled you into a tight embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to love anyone. You know that? Besides, any guy who’s with you is the lucky one, not the other way around,” he cooed sweetly to you as he gently patted you on the back, swaying slightly. 

You gave a small huff, leaning into Sam’s embrace. “It’s like this every time. I meet a nice guy, and I try to love them, I really do, and it always just blows up in my face. God, what’s wrong with me?” you cried as you buried your face into the crook of his shoulder. 

He shushed you softly, “Oh, now, come on. You know nothing’s wrong with you. You’re the best gal I know, and you shouldn’t try to force yourself to love anybody. That’s not the way to go about it. It’s not fair to yourself.” You felt his head tilt downward to look at you. “What’re you doing trying to make yourself love all these guys anyway?” he asked, no mocking tone in his voice, only a genuine desire to understand. 

“It’s embarrassing, Sam,” you replied with a shake of your head, “I can’t….” Your sentence trailed off and you kept your face pressed against his body, unable to answer. 

He nodded, “Alright. That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but just try to remember that things are gonna work out, okay? You’re gonna find someone out there who’s gonna really knock your socks off.” A small chuckle rumbled in his chest as he tried to slowly lift your spirits. 

“No, I won’t, Sam,” you muttered, “I’ve tried over and over. It’s not gonna work out for me.” 

Your words only made him tighten his grip on you. “Now, that’s crazy talk,” he chided softly, “Why would you think a thing like that?” 

“Because you don’t love me.” 

Your words hung between the two of you, Sam being the first to cut through the thick tension they left behind. “What?” he asked, his voice bearing incredulous confusion, “Of course I love you. I tell you I love you all the time.” 

You gave a frustrated groan and pulled yourself away from him. “God, Sam, you just don’t get it. I don’t mean love like that. I mean love. You might love me, Sam, but you don’t want me. Not the way I want you.” 

A painfully loud, blaring silence filled the room as the weight of what you said rested on the man before you. He didn’t say a word, his eyes staying locked on the floor. 

“See?” you continued, “I’ve always loved you, Sam. I thought it was pass, but… fuck, I love you, Sam. And you just don’t love me. You never did.” 

You opened your mouth to say more but was cut short as you felt warm, soft lips pressed against your own. Your body went rigid with shock for a moment before melting into Sam’s kiss. Deep, hungry sighs of relief flowed between the two of you as you desperately grabbed at each other. His tongue slotted itself between your lips, coming to meet with your own as his hands combed through your hair, gentle need filling him as he cradled you to his being. Your hands rested upon his shoulders and acted as an anchor to prove to yourself that this was real and not some sick joke your brain was playing on you. 

After you could hardly breathe and had exhausted yourself in the raw passage of love you shared, you pulled back, looking Sam in the eyes. “I’ve always loved you,” he confessed, “I loved you since that night we kissed our senior year. I just… I was scared. The way I feel about you, it’s bigger than me. Hell, it’s bigger than the both of us put together, and I was scared that if I told you, if I really put my money where my mouth is and just laid it all out, it would ruin what we had. I could never afford to lose you. I still can’t. I just always told myself that I’d do whatever it takes to keep you around, even if it meant I couldn’t love you the way I wanted.” 

You were almost moved to tears at his words as you pulled him close, hugging him tighter than you ever had before. “Oh, Sam, you’re so stupid. Stupid and wonderful. How could I ever not love you? And how could a love like ours ever go bad?” You tilted your head up and kissed him again, feeling so free just to know that you could. 

A loud laugh rumbled through his chest as he held you and kissed you back. “Yeah, I guess love makes us all a little stupid, doesn’t it?” he asked and looked down at you, his playful, lopsided smile plastered to his face. 

You giggled with unbridled delight. “I guess you’re right on that one,” you conceded, “At least we can be stupid together, right?” 

“Right,” he answered, leaning in and kissing you sweetly. You smiled into his kiss, happy in the fact that you and Sam were both incredibly, undeniably stupid and unmistakably, absolutely in love.

taglist: @westernwoods @sunfl0wer-power @gold-mines-melting @alwaysonthemend @andtherestishistory13 @writingcold @sunandthemoontwinflames (send me an ask/dm if you wanna be added to my taglist!!)

#mal writes #sam kiszka #sam gvf #sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka x you #sam kiszka x y/n #sammy kiszka #sammy gvf #sammy kiszka x reader #sammy kiszka x you #sammy kiszka x y/n #sam kiszka fanfic #gvf fanfic #greta van fleet #gvf #Spotify

[the-fiction-witch]

I'm Listening

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sweet AF

Requested: Hey really love your blog <3 I'd like to request a Jack dawkins one where she is autistic and has a meltdown because she got overstimulated + too much emotions and Jack maybe panicking a bit because he doesn't know what's wrong and she is rocking and kinda hurting herself through stimming. Just hurt/comfort stuff. Kinda specific so only if your comfortable with it but would be very happy about it. Thank you ♡

Warning: Panic Attack / Overstimulation / emotioanal meltdown / stimming / Nail picking / Nail biting /

I sat, my knees pulled to my chest, my mind a flood with thoughts, feelings, and every other thought in the world. Everything had just overflowed so I had run up to our room and hidden away from the world. Tears flooded down my cheeks, picking at my nail beds beyond the point of it being painful, my body uncontrollably moving back and forth to rock myself. I heard the door open and immediately didn't want to have to deal with explaining myself. 

"Ahh, There you are Y/n." Jack smiled as he shut the door, "I've been looking all over the hospital for you," He laughed as he came over and kissed my forehead, which was enough for me to almost scream and move away, he noticed and put some space between us. "What have I done?" he asked but I didn't have the strength to speak, "Ohh come on sweetheart what have I done? You have to tell me you know I hate you being upset with me."

"Y-You haven't done any-" I forced as I tried to speak,

"Have you been up here all afternoon?" He asked and I nodded, "Then talk to me, what's made you so upset?" He asked, "And please stop doing that y/n." He said trying to make my hands stop picking my nails, but I slapped his hands away "Please, I don't know how to help sweetheart. You have to tell me so I can-"

"Enough!" I yelled putting my hands over my ears and trying to just sit quietly,

He was silent and sat on the bed keeping a distance between us, he was slow and gentle with his breaths keeping loud enough that even if absentmindedly I began to follow them, he waited for a while before he spoke up, softly and gently. "I just wanna help." 

"I know... I know... I'm sorry,"

"You don't need to be sorry. I know you... get like this sometimes." he said, "I guess this is from, Everything down there."He asked and I nodded, "Alright, I wanna help. Just tell me what you need me to do, take as long as you need." 

"I'm sorry-"

"It's Alright, my fault for not noticing you were like this. We can talk. I can help. or we can just sit in silence whatever is gonna help." 

"Silence. for now."

He nodded and for a while the two of us just sat together with the only sound of our breathing, the room darkening as the evening rolled in, after a while, I took his hand and set it on my head. He smiled and gently stroked my hair "You ready to talk?" he asked and I nodded, "Okay, I'm listening."

"Today just... got to be too much."

"That's okay, it has been very hectic today. I'm proud of you for coming up here and taking time for yourself." He smiled, "Come on you talk as much as you need to I'll be here to listen."

I let out a sigh, "It's all been too busy, so many people and they are all complaining about nothing, and the nurses are getting irritable with me because I can't find anything where they moved the cupboards around last week, and it all got so loud, and hot, and I couldn't find anything, and I was already uncomfortable being on my own all day and my socks are very tight and it's uncomfortable!" 

"...You done? That everything?"

"I think so."

"Okay," He nodded, "It's all okay sweetheart, it's over now. No more work, we can sit here in the dark together if that's what you want. I'll even leave you alone if you'd prefer."

"No, I'd like you here."

"Then I'm very happy to stay" he smiled, "You wanna sit in the dark?"

"Yes please,"

"Okay, No worries. I like the dark." He smiled still slowly stroking my hair, "I know this is hard for you, and I'm happy you let me in even after a little while, I feel terrible I keep kinda forgetting what you like sometimes."

"It's okay. not on you to deal with my nonsense."

"It's not nonsense. It's you. and I love taking care of you sweetheart." he smiled, "I know what might help." he said briefly grabbing something from the side, "Would sock owl help?" he asked giving the small owl made from old socks and fabric cuts in his hand I nodded and took the little owl giving it a squeeze feeling the various stuffed fabrics move a little as I did, "There, better?"

"Yeah thank you, Jack." I smiled,

"You're welcome." he smiled, taking my hands and kissing my fingers where I had picked them so much they had bled, he gave each a kiss before cleaning my fingers and wrapping them up in bandages "There, all better." He smiled, "It worries me when you get this bad, you know it's the one thing I don't like you doing. You need your hands, and your cute little fingers, we work and live in a hospital sweetheart you need them, and it's the place most in contact for infection, I know it... what you feel you have to do. But you have sock owl, and me, I'd just really rather you try working on some other types of stimming when you're like this. Okay?"

"I'll try Jack."

"That's my girl." He cooed, "You think you're okay enough for a cuddle?"

"Yes." I nodded giving him a tight cuddle,

"Aww hi, sweetheart." he smiled kissing my head, "You feel better?"

"Much better, now you're here."

"I'm glad I could be so helpful to you, and I'm glad you feel better Y/n." 

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #tbs #jackdawkins #jack #jack dawkins #thearttfuldodger #theartfuldogger #the artful dodger

[ken-katayanagi]

I’ve read your google docs of the katayanagi twins’ fashion. Super interesting stuff and I love it as both a fashion enthusiast and fan of the siblings. Your document really emphasizes the distinction between those two even with the very little info we have on them (kyle’s style could be late 80s japanese pop while ken’s style could be more leaning towards visual kei). Also matches their personalities (ramona mentioned kyle is the hothead of the two, so I guess the pretty and proper bad boy kind of look fits him)

Something about your endnote fascinates me, however. You mentioned something about the twins’ relationship being strained but then strengthened after ramona’s betrayal. Would you implore more on the idea? I’m now invested in it very much…. thank you and have a good day

Thank you!!! I mostly based my looks off this piece of concept art by O’Malley, which makes me think the personalities the twins had in their few anime appearances were just parts that weren’t as well communicated in Vol. 5

(I think that little doddle next to the crossed out “they’re not even Japanese” emphasizes that visual kei comparison you made)

But as for the second bit, I think the twins weren’t exactly on great terms, even before Ramona. A decent part of this has to do with my own personal head cannons surrounding Kyle and how I perceived his and Ramona’s relationship with alcohol, but also with just how different the twins seem to be under the surface. They seem like they would run in almost completely opposite social circles and be invested in similarly opposite things.

And it’s honestly really tied to their teens. Basically, their parents kinda unintentionally set up a dynamic where Kyle felt like Ken got away with everything (piercings, weird clothes, going out to band shows and having a more trusting relationship with their parents) and Ken thought Kyle couldn’t get his act together (partying, showing up back home late, getting in fight with their parents). Neither was true as in reality their parents let a lot of stuff with Ken slide that wouldn’t have otherwise because “well at least he’s not drunk” and Kyle was genuinely going through some serious mental shit but not telling anyone so his actions just looked super random and mean spirited. So by the time they get to college, they haven’t really addressed this weird image they have of the other in their heads.

And it explains how Ramona was even able to two time siblings. They’re not going to the same parties, they’re not really talking at length about their lives (since they never mention enough detail to make the other suspicious), they’re probably not really bothering each other much if they share a dorm. Ramona unconsciously sees and plays this divide, knowing they’re not really together enough for her to get caught.

It also emphasizes for me a very emotional aspect for all three of them. Ramona is hot off a messy break up (Roxie), the breakup that ended her first relationship with a women and also seems to be her first attempt at having something…maybe not serious but genuine (it seemed more important than anything with Matt Todd or Lucas). Shes hardly in the headspace to be in a relationship, and maybe after some nights out, she’s terrified and not sure what to do because whoops she’s in two! And the longer it goes on the less Ramona actually wants to fix it because it’s kinda fun in a messed up way, and the twins aren’t bad company…until it all comes crashing down and she’s out the door before they even notice she’s gone. I think Ramona’s relationship with the twins is her at her actual lowest, with her being most at fault for what happened and the least justified in bolting afterwards. This low point is exactly when Gideon finds her, unsure and upset at herself, in exactly the position to manipulate her. (Sorry if this came off a little Ramona bash-y, I love Ramona but this girl makes bad choices)

As for the twins, I think the really strong emotional beat here is the idea of how avoidable it would’ve felt for them. How if they had just been able to set aside their own bullshit, if they had even bothered to connect at all, they could’ve figured it out in a few days, rather than in a few weeks or a few months. Ramona’s betrayal is catalyst for them to sit down and just…talk out a lot of their own personal crap.

But yeah that’s why. Sorry this got super massively long, but I hope you liked it and it wasn’t too ramblely lol.

#long post #anon ask #scott pilgrim #ken katayanagi #kyle katayanagi #katayanagi twins #ramona flowers #my head cannons #thank thank thank you for bringing this up I’ve been dieing to talk about it #the twins low key seem like the kinda guys to be super put together on the outside but like five seconds from unraveling on the inside #I love them they are my messy idiots #also this is mostly based on comic lore don’t come in here with that they were her TAs nonsense #they can be players but weirdos? nuh uh. no. #tho I am deeply curious like what was Ramona’s major? engineering maybe since she knows about the sub space highways

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

comparing Brother Bear with TBT since their Both movies about Brotherhood and also Brother Bear just Randomly popped into my head again today.

I've loved Brother Bear for years I think its a very underrated Disney movie with nice songs cute characters and a cute story.

and I randomly started thinking about it earlier and then started comparing it to TBT since their both strongly focused on Brotherhood.

and I realised that for some reason Brother Bear doesn't bother me as much as TBT does even tho it technically has many of the same faults.

it Rushes over the interesting character Drama and it Rushes a conclusion to said Drama between the Brothers at the end.

like the scene in the main film of Kenai confessing to Koda is still fairly sad but its massively undercut by having the song play over it.

the deleted version of that scene where the song doesn't play and we get to hear the full version of Kenai's confession and Koda's reaction is available on youtube and its way more heart-breaking imo.

which I guess is why they didn't go with that version since it would have maybe been a bit too much for young kids.

but the movie also employs the gimmick of having the brothers come back together in the end to fight off a life threatening enemy and all is seemingly forgiven between them straight away afterwards.

I guess one reason why BB doesn't bother me as much as TBT is that Kenai actually grows throughout the film despite wronging Koda in a massive way.

and Koda forgiving him too quickly in the ending is not as bothersome because we didn't see Kenai mistreat him the entire film up until the point he found out.

and he didn't then proceed to hurt him again in arguably just as bad a way as he did before like Bro zone did.

instead Kenai did grow in the film and he and Koda already had a healthy relationship prior to the reveal and later confession.

plus what they had throughout the film was genuine sibling banter it wasn't one sided like Bro zone's interactions were with Branch where it was basically just them treating him like a kid and not taking his Valid feelings seriously.

and when Kenai confesses to Koda he's a lot more openly remorseful and tries to go after him to make things right Bro zone just get a brief 4 second shot of them feeling bad and then the movie moves on.

not to mention the climax of BB involves Kenai making a sacrifice for Koda first off he puts his own life in danger in order to save him from his Brother Denahi. and at the very end he makes a big sacrifice ( staying as a Bear so he can stay with him even tho it means leaving behind his human life and not being able to openly communicate with his family )

which somewhat works as an act of love and redemption whereas the climax of TBT involves Bro zone being forced to work together in order to save their own lives as well as the life of the Bro who none of them wronged all that much tbh.

it doesn't really work as a first step towards them redeeming themselves and fixing their family because its kinda selfish and it didn't involve them really making any sort of personal sacrifice or even that much effort.

ya know its funny I just thought I'd make this post as a Random little thought since that's all this was I didn't actually expect to talk in depth and compare the movies stories this much lol.

I just started typing and got carried away 😂😂😂😂😂😂

anyway in short I love Brother Bear its a very adorable film and while its far from perfect in how it handles its story its flaws don't stop me from enjoying it.

since it still handled the more important parts of the story well enough.

unlike with Trolls 3 best thing I can say about it is that the movie version of "" Better Place "" is a legit great little song and frankly its too good for this film.

the story didn't earn such an emotional music piece in my opinion.

#trolls #trolls branch #trolls brozone #dreamworks trolls #branch #branch trolls #trolls band together #trolls dreamworks #brozone #trolls 3 #disney movies #disney animation #Brother Bear #brother bear #dreamworks animation #dreamworks movies

[thegamingcatmom]

If you had to choose between...

human!momma:

OR

demon!momma:

Which would it be?

tw: kidnapping, emotional manipulation (kinda), general madness

In case you´re worried about any drawbacks when it comes to the extend of madness, worry not. For both are as bonkers (about you) as they come, each in their own unique way.

Had a bad day? Say no more - Momma(s) will be there to cheer you up. Strong arms coming to wrap around you, scooping you up, squeezing just a tad bit too tight and cooing at you oh so sweetly as you whine and lament, because-

"-air!"

...Not her fault you´re such a delicate little thing.

(She wouldn´t have it any other way.)

...What was that?

Some random fool is responsible for putting her sweet girl in such a sour mood?

Well, consider it done.

*Human!Momma sharpening the soon to be murder weapon.*

(And yes, she will be wearing those glasses later, too. Momma wants to witness every little twitch, after all.)

How about something not quite as extreme, though? Some everyday stuff? Something sane? Surely things aren´t gonna escalate this time. Right?

...Right?

Something on your way to that hellhole the apartment spiked your interest, and you mentioned it kinda off-handed. Just trying to make pleasant conversation. Yknow, normal things.

Waking up from a rather refreshing nap, you did not expect to be met with not just one (1) redhead, but two (2) - your roommate wearing a grin rivaling Cheshire's, while the much smaller version, clutched tightly by big hands, trembled like a leaf. The poor thing-

Come to think of it, the kid seemed familiar. And not just because she was the spitting image of your fiery roommate (minus the blood and guts, if we´re dealing with Maggot Momma). You swear you´d seen her before-

...

Watching your companion's face fall as you patiently explained to her why kidnapping someone wasn't exactly in either of your best interests shouldn't have been nearly as gut-wrenching.

"-you can´t just go out there and snatch someone up like they´re a stray cat! Especially not a child!"

Oh...so it´s her fault, now?

"You were the one gushing about my mini-me earlier!", Momma no longer understood the world. This was what you wanted, wasn´t it?? "You looked so happy, imagining what it would be like..."

Strong hands wrapped around your upper arms then, slowly stroking up and down. "Don´t you think this would be absolutely perfect? You were right...look at her, she was meant for us!"

Oh boy. Here we go again.

"What if her parents come looking for her? Someone will notice if she won't show up at school anymore-"

"We're her parents now", said with a most serene look. If you hadn't been living with that exact attitude for well over a year now, you'd have felt chilled to the bone.

"You can´t just-", you stop yourself there, realizing you sounded like a broken record by now. This was not a battle won by logic.

Deep breaths.

Alright-

"...She´s not the one." you concluded, trying your best to look the part. It was something that came rather easy to you by now, as you had been given plenty of opportunities to master your poker face.

Your roommate was looking at you like you were the one who´s lost it.

"But...earlier you said-"

"I lied", you silently applauded yourself for remaining steadfest at the sheer disappointment slowly spreading across your partner´s face.

You didn´t particularly enjoy being the "party pooper", but more often than not, you felt like this was the only thing keeping the redhead´s tendencies somewhat in check. So you took that role very seriously.

"I guess I was just...blinded by this idea of another you, so perfect. How could it not be when you´re so...you?", you couldn´t have sounded more sappy, and you knew it. But that was the point.

It always worked.

So you continue, tears starting to form in your eyes-

"I´m sorry for getting your hopes up...so stupid! I should´ve known better - I was looking for an excuse to justify making her ours, but I knew she wasn´t the one, all along. I could feel it!", you started lightly hitting your head then, turning things up a notch and adding to the dramatics of it all.

And then-

"Oh...honey-"

You had her.

"Stop, stop...stop!", your hands were grasped, preventing you from further doing your head in. Good. That shit started to actually hurt. "Stop hurting yourself...and stop worrying that pretty head of yours. I understand."

"...You do?"

"Mhm..."

You were pulled into a smothering hug, her cheek coming to rest on your head, swaying the two of you slowly from side to side. "I know what it feels like...to be overcome by your thoughts and feelings. Like a deep-rooted instinct, overshadowing everything else. You get this tunnel vision where nothing else matters...nothing except yourself and that moment. I know it because...it´s what I feel every time I look at you."

And, just like that, you were reminded why you put up with all of this in the first place.

You reciprocated the hug just as fiercely, finally allowing yourself to relax, now that the crisis had been averted. Nobody was dying or getting dismembered, the apartment was still standing, you had no authorities nearly kicking your door in, demanding you to-

"LAPD, open this door!"

...

Momma, reconsidering some of her life choices (she´s really not) as you throw her a look that clearly says "Told you so".

...

WELL-

What do you think? Who will be your unhinged partner in crime, now and forever more because you belong together, were meant for each other-

Make your choice.

In fact-

Can´t wait to see those results...

.

.

.

Bonus:

#evil dead rise #maggot mommy #alyssa sutherland #evil dead rise...but gayer #deadites #ellie bixler #someone #someone is you btw #beth bixler #lily sullivan #tumblr polls #polls #poll time #tw: kidnapping

[kittycat-in-the-dark]

Why i think it is kinda frustrating to love the character of Jason Todd (or just any dc comics character at this point) - coming from a fan

VERY IMPORTANT WARNING: because i like Jason Todd this is gonna be mainly about him. I am gonna discuss certain things in canon and fanon about him that at this point are so tiring, and i just want to rant about them. Also, opinions that you might or might not agree with (lol). So, here comes my rant:

The Mess that is Canon and why it gives me headaches

So, we all know our dearest DC comics, and what a pain they can be. They love being inconsistent, because writers love to write wtv they want while ignoring stuff that came before, change or outright erase characters over night just because "they have their own vision in mind", ruining characters by practicing sexism, racism, classism, all -ism there are, on those characters and through other characters - because why not? And so, most of the times when a character goes to one writer to another it feels like some really do decide to keep their worse traits and add to them and ignore the actual interesting things about that/those character(s) that could make for some more interesting stories and character development. (And i know that most of the inconsistency is not just the fault, or even at all, of the writers, because that is more an issue caused by higher-ups and the decisions and limitations they put on their writers. But, that doesn't mean that writers cannot do better in the writing department, like plenty of writers and creatives have consistently done amazing things even under limitations, actually limitations sometimes showed to be helpful in challenging the creativity of artists,,... thou, i still think that DC needs to give their writers a basic sheet with info on the characters and make their current writers read/get familiar with previous characterization of the characters, at least a bit because this inconsistency is so annoying... also, you guys are supposed to be professionals in writing, like??)

Now let's see what certain writers decided to do with Jason, as an example, i guess, also because i know the most about him. Sorry for still being behind on other characters, aaaaa. So bare with me, please...

Decided to guide him to his death instead of continuing to expand on how Jay could heal from his childhood trauma, deal with his emotions and grow into being a better person and hero:

Jim Starlin (one of the writers of Batman comics in Post-crisis) decided to take the sweet boy that loves his family, that has anger issues from his past trauma, but that still did his best to help people and has very resourceful, and decided to completely focus on just how angry he was and the "tragic destiny that always awaited for him", especially because he also somehow deserves it -> which is, unfortunately, something that is made even worse in the New-52 and Rebirth. There is just this over insistence that because Jason was angry in certain situations, that he is and always was "broken" or "improper", and stuck on a never-ending cycle of violence. And in recent comics, every time young Jason Todd is brought up (in discussions, flashbacks and stories happening in his time as Robin) more often than not, the writers decide to put too much focus on Jason's more negative traits related to his anger and arrogance (about this last one, i, personally, don't think he was originally. Like yes, he could be too reckless sometimes and disobey orders from Batman and stuff, but which Robin didn't... also Jason was actually pretty well behaved for the most part of his Post-crisis Robin time).

But ya, this is also generally a problem, that DC still practices to this day, with Jason, Damian, and other sidekick or kid characters. I even remember seeing a post/article about the departments in DC, especially the Batman comics one, having writers or superiors, that didn't like and outright hated the concept of Robin, they wanted to get rid of Dick Grayson at first, but fortunatly Dick was moved to another department when he became a full time Titan and going on his own adventures completely separate from Batman. This is also why Dick is not that present during Jason's years as Robin... which kinda sucks. Like yes, Dick having his development and building his own team and new hero identity outside Robin, Batman and Gotham was great and all, but it's so stupid and frustrating that the actual reason Dick wasn’t a present brother was because of executive stuff going on at DC rather than that much of an in-universe and character reasons - like, i get that it can be justified by "Dick and Bruce were still going through their issues from spliting up and Dick had his own responsibilities as a solo hero and team leader" - but it wouldn't have been impossible to at least have Dick visit Alfred and Jason more than he did in canon, or show him and Jay having or keeping contact more after their first meeting, or even better, let Jason hang out and get closer to the Titans more, so he can spend more time with his new brother and make hero friends of or closer to his age... i mean, there were some panels that showed, for example, Jason and Dick skiing and Jay going on like 2 missions with the Titans, but it would have been awesome if Jay actually got to build closer relationships with them.

Also, from what i understood, many weren't happy with the introduction of a new Robin... plus Jay was Robin in the comics for just 1 year in real world time (from 1987 to 1988 -> yes, i am not joking... the most known and nowadays canon version of Jason, aka from Post-crisis, was Robin for just a year, the other 4 years of being Robin, aka from 1983 to 1986, was with Pre-crisis Jason that was basically Dick 2.0., and that doesn't even make part of the main continuity, as we know it*) and in Universe he was Robin for about 3 years (he was 12 when he met Bruce and died at 15), and considering that most stories during this time were more focused on Bruce/Batman and on the villain of the week type stories, Jay really didn't get that much character exploration before dying. Which kinda sucks...

*a little note about this: so, in 2022-2023 the Dark Crisis event happened, which apparently restored Pre-crisis as being part of canon, which makes no sense considering that Pre-crisis Jason Todd and Post-crisis Jason Todd are completely different, but ya DC doing DC stuff like usual, uffff - but, i still think that the "main/real" Robin Jason is the one from Post-crisis

Thou, even if A Death in the Family kinda started the way of depicting Robin Jason as too angry and violent, i don't think that the way the conflict was depicted between Bruce and Jason is as bad as it is depicted in recent comics - because it was more about Jason and Bruce respectively missunderstanding each other's side. That being that Jason probably saw being benched as a "step" to be fired like Dick was, or that Bruce thought that he wasn’t good enough to be Robin and that his place as Bruce's son, probably, wasn’t "so secure",, while on the other side, Bruce just wanted to bench Jason from Robin because he was indeed becoming too reckless and violent in the field, so he was worried that his son would hurt himself. So, i think it's important to understand that this story, despite it's many problems, at least tried to be more balanced and "realistic"/genuine with the conflict between the characters. But the thing with the "destined to die and to live in violence" still is kinda shitty, because again, it is leaning into the idea that Jason deserved this, even if everything that happened in this story happened mainly because of miscomunication between Jason and Bruce, and DC not giving the chance for Jay to take another path.

The "voting for Jason to die" thing:

Okay, i am gonna be honest with that idk much about this subject. But i remember reading an article and posts were it is claimed that the vote might have been rigged because a lot of people at the time in DC wanted to get rid of Jason and because, well, the call type vote must have been kind of a mess when it happened through the phone back in the 80s. Plus it is also believed that the people that were able to vote, voted for Jason to die probably mostly to see if DC would really do it, ya know just for the fun of it and to see if DC really had the balls to do it, which many seemed to actually be doubting. So ya... but either way, the fact that people at DC thought about this, is kinda weird and unfair imo, because Jay, like i said before, wasn’t even given the chance to developed or to build a different path other than one filled with tragedy and violence...

The erasure and non-erasure of Sheila Haywood:

As we all already know, the actual reason why Jason died was that he tried to save his mother from the Joker, when he discovered that she was working for him. The problem with this arrives when DC always choose to frame it as "Jason died because of his recklessness and disregard for Bruce's authority when he told Jason to stay put". And the problem with this is that it makes it seem like DC doesn't even consider how a kid in Jason's situation might feel and act and that the fault wasn’t his or his temper's or wtv that he died, as much as it was the betrayal of his mother and Batman literally leaving Jason behind, when he could've and should've taken his son with him to do the rescue and to make sure Jay and Sheila would be save. And especially considering that Bruce was aware that Jason can be quite stubborn and reckless, and that he must really wish to save his mom more than anything, that, logically, Jay would've gone for his mother no matter what Bruce said or how he promissed that he would save Sheila. Also, Batman and Robin are supposed to be partners,, how did Bruce think that with such an important and personal mission for Jason that the kid would just stay on the side lines and wait for Bruce to do something. Also the fact that, somehow... huh, Jason made it to the warehouse way before Bruce did, even if he went for it way before Jason, like?? - but either way, 80s writing used to be weird and stuff, but when it comes to A Death in the Family, many people pointed out that the writing makes almost no sense and it is quite goofy with a lot of things, despite supposedly being a monumental story considering that this is the first time a sidekick dies and stays dead, and in such a tragic way... also that shit is so goofy that it ended with Joker as an Middle East Ambassador or wtv... so ya. Too stupid even by "silly simple fun superhero stories of the 80s" standards.

But the problem, like the title of this point sugests, is that some writers in more modern comics, aka Post-crisis from the 2000s, New-52 and Rebirth, decided to outright erase Sheila from the equation. Which takes away from a relatable and sympathetic factor that lead Jason to his tragic end, and instead focus on just how reckless, stubborn and angry Jason is, and that was what killed him. Also, that now, the reason he got involved with Joker was not because it happened that his mom that he wanted to meet and save was working for Joker but that Jay had a very deep insecurity about himself as Robin and Bruce's son and so he just decided to go after Joker impulsively in order to impress Bruce by stopping and capturing him on his own, which ya... way to ruin it guys... like yes, it can be said that Jay went to Ethiopia looking for his mom originally because he and Bruce were having problems, after all Jay did find out about his mom and decided to leave when he heard Bruce and Alfred discuss to bench him from Robin because he was too violent and reckless in some recent cases, more notably the Garzonas one, and so it makes sense that Jay would kinda associate not being a good enough Robin as not being a good enough of a son for Bruce, and thus motivating him to look for his mom when he, basically accidently/by chance, learned that he has a biological mother that is alive and well, and that might want to have him back as a son.

And then, you have writers that, after others chose to erase Sheila completely (like they did in the New-52), decided to write that the reason Jay died was because of trying to save Sheila, like that line Jay says in Task Force Z, "I died trying to save someone I love.", and it creates this annoying back and forth with this fact... like, erasing and/or bringing a character or their importance to the story or the main characters' development is a big deal, and DC writers just played with Sheila around like randomly throwing the ball to see if it lands on the "Sheila exist this week" or on the "Sheila doesn't actually exist the next week or ever did" side of the field.

Being weird about Jay's relationship with Talia because the writer (aka Judd Winick) wanted to be experimental and that Talia and Jay having "just sex" is not a big deal because it's normal for people to just have sex, the context be damned (also the consequences this could bring in how people view Talia's character):

i don't think i need to elaborate on this more than i already did...

The writer of UTRH (Judd Winick again) went too far while depicting Jason's violence:

Okay, before you go at me for shitting on the writing of a writer that is considered to be the best Jason Todd writer, i have to say that he did some interesting and fun things with Jay, but also paired up with a lot of stuff that contributed to a worse perception of Jason's character and falling further into the "Jason was always destined to be violent and murder-y" hole. Like, he even added more to Jason's time as Robin, but only decided to focus on the more negative parts of it, and while i can understand that he probably wanted to put Jason's flaws and conflict with Bruce at center stage for his return as the villain Red Hood, i think he kinda started the trend of refering to Jay as always being the "Angry Robin" and that everytime there is a flashback with Robin Jason since then it is always about his anger and nothing else. Also, i feel like he kinda forgot to show Jason caring about innocents, aka women and children, while writing this, which is kinda weird considering that he did show that side of Jay in Lost Days...

From the Titans Tower fight till the end of Post-crisis Jason's writing was a complete mess:

i feel like DC reached a point by this time where they had no clue what to do with Jason (and nowadays they are still at this point and have been in it since then, if we are being honest). They decided to either make Jason a total nut case full on villain that hurts a lot of people for no good reason and at the same time have stories were he is an ally to the Heroes and where he does the right thing, even if he is still a bad guy. And the thing is: if DC really wanted to make Jay an anti-hero that walked a grey line where he sometimes did his own selfish desires and still antagonized certain heroes he thinks he has a bone to pick with (like Batman and Nightwing), but that still gave a shit about innocents and would help people even when aligned with villains, they could have but they kinda didn't. Like, i know it's a very cut and dry definition of an anti-hero, but like, comics are stacked full with over used tropes and have created some themselves, and with this Jason could be a more interesting story element everytime he popped up because the readers and the heroes would never know if to expect Jason to be against them or helping them. Plus, they could advance from this by developing him from a more "villainous anti-hero" to a more "heroic anti-hero", and doing so by touching/going on Jason's roots as Robin and what made Jason the happy hopeful kid that loved to help people. But no,,,, they decided to do a complete mess!! DC, why... thou, i kinda feel like this transition of Jason from a more "villainous anti-hero" to a more "heroic anti-hero" didn't happen properly for the same reason Jason became more violent and angry as Robin didn't work that well/felt rushed, and that was because this was made in a short time limit. Because, like Starlin wanted to get to the "fated death of Robin because of his issues" as quick as possible, Post-crisis Red Hood Jason seemed (imo) to suffer from this as well, because Post-crisis (as a continuity/timeline) was ending, the next big retconning event was approaching in DC comics,,, like heck, even the story of UTRH was interrupted sometimes because of a timeline/universe altering event... and then the One Year Later event happened, and Jay seemed to have become "more crazy that ever", and the heroic parts that Jason still had were discarded completely. Which tbh i wasn’t a big fan of, at all. So, Jay ended his Post-crisis story as a full on "deranged villain".

RHATO is a BIG mess; YES, unfortunatly, i mean both of them, maybe exept for the first 25 issues of RHATO (2016) - why did DC have to give Jason's main books to Scott Lobdell?! Also, those first 25 issues of RHATO (2016) are kind of a miracle, all things considered:

So... RHATO (2011) was basically Jason's first big "going on his own with a team in stories non-related to Batman"... and it was awful. Because well, DC decided to make Jason, Roy Harper and Koriand'r aka Red Hood, Arsenal and Starfire the Outlaws, and write them completely out of character. Which ya, pissed off/annoyed a lot of fans... and these are the main reasons why (i think, might have missed some thou, but this serve enough to make a point against this book):

First off, it makes no sense for Roy and Kori to agree to Jason's methods and philosophy, so question: why would they join/form the Outlaws and with Jay as the leader?

Why is Jay the leader when he was no previous leading experience at this point, while both Kori and Roy do?

Why tf was Roy made dumb and Kori into an eye candy character, while being stripped off of their inteligence and kindness respectively?

Why are 2 of Dick Grayson's closests friends, one of which is also an ex-lover, hanging out with his little brother, considering that when those best friends first met that brother they were already adults, and Roy even had his daughter Lian, when Jay was just 12?

General answer: the writer decide to say fuck you to anything and build what could be considered a "male power fantasy" through Jason, also sexism, so he ended up ruining everything and everyone.

Long, more specific to each question answers:

Kori and Roy were "given to Jason" as his teammates and friends and made "more violent and outcasted" from their previous teams and friends/family because DC rebranded with the New-52 and wanted to be more edgy and had no idea what to do with these 2 characters so they decided to shove them together just because... and also because they had no idea what to do with Jason either, like i said previously.

Jay is the leader because "power male fantasy" for and with guys without powers, having no idea what to do with him that could be interesting, human characters in DC are often made the leaders to make up for and balance with their more powerful teammates, Jay is made the leader instead of Roy because the Bats are always up in DC's hierarchy of gets to lead the team and be the main face of the team and comic because money. Also,, look, i know it can be said that Jay, just like any other Batkid, deserved the chance to have his role and his experience as a leader, but because of his short time as Robin he didn't even get that much experience working with others or with a bigger team, besides being partners with Batman, and he never got to have a proper leader role before the Outlaws (and no, being a crime-lord doesn't count because he mostly did things solo, his partners and workers worked with him under fear or because the other option was worse than him, and also he killed the guys he worked with or that worked for him a lot... so ya, i wouldn't call that leadership experience). It really was a decision made just based on "the Bats need to be the leaders at some point of any teams we create" DC rule.

Roy was dumbed down so he wouldn't be the logical leader and because Jason needed a "dumb best friend" or something and Kori, well... the boys needed an eye candy sexy alien woman for the comic to actually be interesting... also, they threw away her kindness because she needs to be as rude and angry as her male teammates.

Also, weird as shit that they decided to give Jay Dick's best friends (or i guess ex-best friends during this time) because they were too lazy to make new friends for Jason.... also they had to ruin their established relationships because why tf not? - also why is Roy only refered to as Jay's best friend when he was/is Dick's best friend (or one of his best friends)... like?? i mean, people can have more than one best friend, but DC doesn't seem to understand that, so...

in conclusion, this book ruined everyone!! Hurray DC, that was such a great achievement *fucking insert infinite tons of sarcasm here*.

Also, to make a little note/comment about something that comes from fandom about this Outlaws Team specifically: i really really really hate that, because of this book, Jason is shipped with either Kori or Roy or with both at the same time in a poly relationship. And while, yes i get the "let them be shipped" because this is just people having fun with the characters and all that,,, no matter how they put these ships, i will always find them gross because of the reasons i mentioned above,, aka Kori and Roy were adults when they met 12-year-old Jason -> like just this alone should ring alarm bells,, Kori is Dick (Jay's brother)'s ex, which akward,, i mean, overall these relationships just give me the icky... okay?? Sorry about this little detour. Moving on from this now. i just really needed to let it out.

RHATO (2016) actually started better... a lot better. The first 25 issues are interesting and have sweet moments that i really like. i said it before, but these 3 are my favourites together, until DC decided to ruin them as well... because why not. imo, RHATO (2016) did better because, well, despite being written by the same writer of RHATO (2011), this one actually fixed some of the problems of the previous one and the character dynamics between the main 3 were pretty solid (for the first 25 issues that is..). And that is because:

Jason and Artemis have great chemistry with each other either you look at it platonicaly or romantically.

Their banter is amazing and so funny.

Love that these Outlaws, especially Artemis, are more the type of "Jason gives an order like he is the leader, but they ignore it because they have a better plan" - that doesn't mean that Jay doesn't have his own good plans/ideas but him being the "main leader" is not as cut and dry as it was in RHATO (2011).

i like that Jay is the more emotional link of the Outlaws, aka he was the one that kept at first the Outlaws together.

The relationships between Artemis, Jason and Bizarro are just so sweet - like sorry, but they make my heart go mush, okay?

i like that even if the writer tried to write a romantic relationship between Jason and Artemis, that they, and especially Artemis, didn't put that much focus on it, it was something that existed in the background while they were more worried about other things, such as their missions and taking care of Bizarro.

But, after that things became kinda bad:

By the end of issue 25, Jason was beaten by Batman because "he killed Penguin" on live television (which btw Jason didn't actually kill him) and so Bruce beat him up pretty badly, some say even worse than he beats his villains.

Thou, i will give it to the story just the fact that i think it's interesting that things for Jason went to shit the moment he decided to go on his own after Penguin without his teammates, which kinda strenghtens the fact that Jason needs someone besides him when something bad happens to him or finds out something bad (like here when he finds out Penguin was responsable for his dad's imprisonment and death).

But a big problem: making Jason's established abusive father seem as some kind of "martyr for his family", even if he actually hurt his wife and son, at the time, more than anyone else. Also, that Jason actually went for it with believing his dad was a good guy and proudly went after Penguin while claiming to be Willis's son. Like, i don't think it's that unbelievable that Jay still cared for his dad, even if he hurt him and his mom a lot, but... the writing paints Willis too much like "a good guy trying to help his family that got involved with the wrong people" while letting Jason's mom and her importance to Jason on the sidelines or outright ignored - like, i know that in Post-crisis, more specifically in A Death in the Family that Willis was refered to as "a dad that made mistakes trying to help his family", but by this point in Rebirth (and with the New-52) Willis was established clearly as having been an abusive husband and father, and more clearly than ever... so, it's kinda fucked up that at this point the writer tried to kinda "hero-fy" him because he abandoned and abused his family for "the good of his family",, like that doesn't erase all the pain he caused his wife and son, either he meant to cause it or not. Also, they brushed over the importance Catherine had in Jay's life, when she was one of the most important people to him in Post-crisis.

Then Artemis and Bizarro are "taken away" from Jason because their multidimensional spaceship hideout went out of control and transported them to another place, leaving Jason alone with a pissed off Batman that wasn't finished with beating his son up, until Roy Harper appeared to save his friend.

After this, things get worse because Jay and Bruce reunite and easily make-up, without actually solving anything, which keeps them for the rest of Rebirth continuing a never ending cicle of: "we are at odds because of our desagreements -> one of us (mostly Bruce) does or says something very fucked up which causes a big fight -> they separate again -> some shenanigans happen and they are obrigated to work together again -> forgiveness or semi-forgiveness ensues -> part ways again -> cross paths again either intentionally or by accident -> repeat cicle again.

Eventually, Artemis and Bizarro return, but their character design is worse, like way worse, especially Artemis's that is just atrocious, being that she went from a well built muscly woman with a one piece suit to the super skiny woman that looks like she doesn't have organs in her abdomen wearing a top, because why not....

The relationships and dynamics between the main trio became weird and boring. Especially between Artemis and Jason, and Bizarro kinda gets ignored until he leaves to become king of the underworld, lol. Oh, and then Jason and Artemis kiss, reach the conclusion they think of each other as brothers rather than lovers (even if they fucking kissed a lot of times at that point), and when they part ways they are both sappy because "they know that what they said to each other then is not true but cannot be together" type bullshit... and like, what?? - i am gonna be honest, at first, ya know in the first 25 miracle issues, a romantic relationship between the 2 seemed sweet and okay, i actually liked it, even if they were kinda doing the "will they, won't they" thing, and honestly, i wouldn't even have been mad if they reached the conclusion that they work better in a platonic relationship than a romantic one, even if they still have romantic feelings for each other. But not the weird ass bullshit the writer pulled with this...

And the time Jason was solo was just mediocre story after mediocre story, uffff.

So, Jay finally kinda gets his own book (even if they technically aren't, as they are team-up books, but they are the closest thing to a Jason Todd solo book as we can get...), only for both to end up being awful for the most part... if only DC gave Jason a better writer. Like, thank everything that most probably Lobdell is never gonna be his writer again, but that doesn't necessarely mean that other writers that followed did him any better.

**Also,, what is somehow even worse is that these books are the ones that popularized in fandom this idea that "everytime a character is paired up with Jason in a Hero Team, they get ruined by him", which makes the dislike for Scott Lobdell and his writing even worse because this man just managed to ruin everything!!

DC is trying to reintegrate Jason into the Batfam - which is something good and could be interesting, but there are some things that are kinda bad/tiring about how they are going about it:

In the New-52 and Rebirth, DC redeemed Jason, thou with the New-52 it was kinda weird because they didn't exactly redeem the Jason that we knew at the end of Post-crisis, but a more "tone down" version of him, since they decided to change most of the characters' backstories in this new universe. And i can understand why DC did this especially for Jason, considering that by that point Post-crisis Jason has gone a little bit too far, to suddently begin a redemption arc with all the baggage "villain" Jason had. So, they basically started over, erasing all the Post-crisis Jason stories except for UTRH, and changed his backstory. One example of one of these changes, was that they retconned Lost Days and changed that part of Jason's story to him training not just with Talia in the League of Assassins but also with the All-Caste, being that Talia guided Jason to the All-Caste to protect him from her father. And then his redemption comes when, after UTRH, instead of Jason doing all the horrible things he did by the end of Post-crisis, he started working with the Batfam sometimes, even if he still did his vigilante anti-hero business mostly alone, and even if Batman didn't aprove of it and Jay's methods, and so, this is where the "Jason is an on and off member of the Batfam" thing started. And then the redemption continued with Jay founding the Outlaws with Arsenal and Starfire, starting working more with the batkids (even if they still were at odds with each other), appeared everytime there was an emergency,etc.

But, as most know, the New-52 has a lot of writing problems, especially considering that Jay and the Outlaws have Scott Lobdell as their main writer. The thing here, that is pretty frustating, is that these ideas with Jason had the potencial to be great,, i mean i do like that Jay got to redeem himself and get closer to his family, but it feels cheap, especially because, for example, DC really thought that in order for Jason to have, at least, a good relationship with Tim, they first had to completely erase the close relationship that Tim and Dick had as brothers (and don't get me started on Cass and what they did do her during this time)... because why not? i guess the Batkids are only allowed to get along with one sibling at a time now,, especially considering that the New-52 was the one that started the idea in fandom that Jason is Tim's favourite and Damian is Dick's favourite, and so Dick and Tim's brothers relationship is left in the wind to be obliterated.

And then, DC rebooted again, and continued with the redemption path for Jason in Rebirth, which was, like i said before, interesting, but then they kinda ruined it. Also, both in the New-52 and part of Rebirth Jason suffered from this limbo of "being or not being part of the family". And is especially frustating with the ever repetitive conflict that Jason and Bruce have. Like,, it does have some good moments and ideas, but the problem is that after a while they kinda become pretty repetitive with each story of Rebirth.... so, like, it would be nice if DC did something more to advance their characters' development and relationships, just saying... also, so much wasted potential with most of the ideas they bring up,, DC why don't you go with your ideas to the fullest instead of constantly keeping your characters in some kind of limbo, uffff.

Robin Jason flashbacks from the New-52 and Rebirth always being under the shadow of his death:

So, i did mention this in passing before, aka that i am tired of seeing DC canon in more recent comics only show Robin Jason as angry and violent. But the thing is,, i don't think they shouldn't show angry Robin Jason at all, they can obviously show that. But the problem is that they never focus on any other characteristics of Robin Jason. Like, even if the kid was angry and violent, that wasn't all that he was, he was also happy, he was also sad, he was also insecure, he also loved his family a lot,,, plus he wasn't angry just because of "teen angst" or "teen disagreements with Bruce", he was angry because of the injustices he and his parents went through and that other people keep going through in Gotham City. And i think it's also obvious at this point that Jason's anger and violent actions were just a protection mechanism he developed to protect himself on the streets and from his trauma. So like, DC should really tone down on bringing up Jason's anger so much, because he is not the "angry Robin", that is not all he is or ever was. Or, ya know, at least they could stop acting as if Jason being angry is just "senseless"/exaggerated.

And we all know at this point that DC does these "angry and violent Robin Jason" flashbacks because they always write with Jay's tragic ending in mind. Everything about Jason since he died, is about his death and only that, even if he has a lot of other more interesting things to explore and deal with than the trauma from his death and his shitty relationship with Bruce.

Jason just cannot have or keep close positive relationships:

It's just the fact that DC really has a problem in establishing Jay into some closer and definitive relationships, other than always having a "up and down" relationship with Bruce. Like, the Outlaws (aside from being ruined by writing), after they decide to eventually separate their ways, aren't put together anymore, for better or for worse, with the Batkids it's just the "we check on you only when something happens and we need your help or there is the possibility that you are going to go too far on a solo mission, aka if you go back into your killing and violence". And for the rest, even including his Robin years, he is mostly isolated from other people, especially people that belong to "his group" aka people of his age, background, generation, with same philosophy, etc. Just like,, why is this boy so alone,, wasn’t he suffered enough on his own?

Fandom also gives me a headache sometimes

Jason being either a feminist or a misogynist:

I am gonna be direct and say that the "Jason is misogynistic because he hurt Mia Dearden/other girls or women" and "Jason always drinks his respect women juice" crowds are weird and make no sense. And also kinda wrong (imo)... and why do i say this...

Well, the "Jason is a feminist/drinks his respect women juice" belief comes from the fact that Jay, at least as Robin, tended to get defensive of women when they were insulted and/or abused, especially when they were so by men, and because of the love he was for both his moms and the relationship and respect he has for Talia. Now, the thing is, this and other examples such as "how he showed respect for Onyx in UTRH because he worked with her and didn't underestimate her as an opponent, and helped her after he incapacitated her", isn't necessarely feminist, i would mostly call it respectively basic respect for other people, caring about vulnerable women because he is a good kid and a hero and because situations where women are suffering at the hands of men bring up his trauma from growing up with an abusive dad that especially hurt his mom, and not underestimating any opponent you come accross because in vigilantism and the world they live in anyone and anything can be quite dangerous if you are unprepared. So, in other words, Jay is a decent human being (even at his worst) that cares about the well being of others, especially people in vulnerable groups such as abused women, but he doesn't have any beliefs or actions that, imo, "make him feminist". Or an outstanding feminist, especially when other characters, that are both heroes and villains, have shown this type of behaviour towards women. Thou,, and i am about to kinda contradict myself,, just reading Jason's Post-crisis stories until UTRH, saying that Jason is a feminist/cares about women being hurt by men is valid, and especially as he is shown to have empathy towards the victims he encounters,, and even more than Bruce was ever shown to have to this type of victims... so that is an interesting and valid point, imo. So, it seems like a weird limbo that is somehow made worse by RHATO's writing bacause ya know, Lobdell,... but ya, i don't think calling Jason a feminist is that wrong either, maybe it depends on the writing you pick, because, ya know, he really has inconsistent writing (the pain of loving Jason Todd T-T).

The "Jason is a misogynist" side believe this because Jay was had many times, especially by the end of Post-crisis when he kinda went too much off the rails in his "crazy villain persona", hurt and insulted women. Which valid, i guess, some can interpret some of his actions and statements during this time as sexist towards women... but the thing is, or actually 2:

Writers projecting their own prejudices towards women through Jason, like for example in how he behaved towards Donna in Countdown. But in that event everyone was pretty ooc, the story was very long and a mess, and Jay during this time was written as being an ass to anything and anyone, so...

Most of the times Jason fought a woman/girl it had nothing to do with them being women - actually if Jason fighting, hurting, insulting and causing trauma and/or awekening past trauma into other characters is misogynistic, then when he does it to boys/men (like he did to Bruce, Dick, Tim, Oliver, etc.), does that mean he is being a misandrist?? Like, what kind of logic is that? - what Jason is actually doing through his horrible actions is getting revenge and spreading on to others his trauma, his pain and suffering. Is he right in doing it, especially to characters he barelly knows and have nothing to do with his pain, such as Mia, Onyx and even Tim and the Titans? Fuck no! But he is not a misogynist through these actions, sorry to say this, but i really don't think he is.

Saying that Jason doesn't care about either women and/or children:

This is a tricky one... and that is because i, and many other fans for that matter, said/say that Jason doesn't necessarely have a "special care for women and children" in a sense. But like i said before he does care, a lot. And it's always nice when we have stories where he is shown doing that (Like in Urban Legends: Cheer and Task Force Z, even if these stories have other problems..), because certain writers (like Winick and Lobdell) kinda forgot about this side of Jason. Jason cares!!!! He cares!! And that is important to point out about Jason because, while, like i said before, this is not a "special/unique" characteristic of Jay like some fans make it out to be, it is important and special for just Jason as a character because he was been protrayed as uncaring, an ass and outright villain before, and, unfortunatly, that protrayal is the one that is the most present in most people's minds (mostly because of the popularity of the story UTRH). So ya, even if Jason did hurt people that didn't deserve it at all and that make part of the group of women and children, that doesn't completely erase or contradict the fact that Jason cares and wants to help (plus reasons i said before like shitty writing that makes no sense and that the people he attacked could still defend themselves or had the capacity to, so like he didn't hurt or go after civilians, ya know. Again, it doesn't justify or make it less of an evil what he did to those people, even if they are trained heroes, but it's also not something that invalidates the statement "Jason cares about people" - it's about nuance). Also,, even if i said that perhaps, by how Jay was written sometimes, that "he doesn't have a special mission in protecting women and children", he actually does, but he isn't shown doing that directly, as he is mostly shown just killing and/or beating the guys that hurt women and children,, which i think is what, paired up with him hurting characters like Mia Dearden, Tim Drake and Damian Wayne, and this hurting actually being depicted directly on panel,, leads other fans to find it "unbelievable that Jay actually gives a damn about women and children when he did this to this specific women/girls and children".

Making people that like Jason or want to defend Jason or discuss his wrong doings feel as being held at gunpoint because people aren't allowed share their opinion either against him, favouring him or even a balance of both (this applies to all fans, including Jason Todd fans, obviously):

Okay so... one thing that i noticed is that people cannot seem to be able to have civil discussions about Jason, in a way. Like, no matter what stance people take on the character, there is always someone ready to "shut you up" because they don't agree with your analysis and/or opinion on the character. Also, yes, this happens with fans of other characters too, but, for some reason, Jason is one of those characters that seems to bring up the most heated discussions in DC fandom.

Also, while yes and obviously, people are allowed to and should interact with posts they disagree with and explain why they disagree, there are some people that take it too far. And i also think this problem comes from the fact that people tend to "cherry-pick" the version of the character that they consider canon. For example, there are people that, because they prefer the stories from Post-crisis, the only valid version of the characters for them is that one, other people prefer the New-52 and/or Rebirth, or they actually prefer the headcanons version of the character because canon is too much of a mess to understand. And honestly, i think they are all valid. The problem comes when people seem to not distinguish "serious discussions, analysis and criticisms" of the actual canon and "fun post that can be either based in canon or just headcanon". Plus, not every jab a person does to a character is a serious criticism or an actual critical post about that character, sometimes they are just dumb jokes that actual fans/people that love that character do for fun. Being a fan of a character doesn't mean defending the character 24/7 or that if they make a joke on the expense of that character that they now hate them... like, we are here mostly to have fun with our favourite characters, and that includes making fun of them and their flaws as much as analyzing and defending them. And also, loving a character doesn't mean that you don't see or talk about that character's flaws and mistakes, as they are. Not everything your favourite character does was to have a moral/positive explanation, sometimes characters can just be shitty people and that is fine.

Also, i don't understand why, but some Jason Todd fans literally act as if he is the only character with bad writing, when like all characters have suffered from it. Heck, some characters even outright disapeared for decades at this point, even if they still have fans that talk and make content about them to this day.

And well, if Jay has bad writing that makes no sense for his character, so do other characters as well -> i am specifically pointing this out because sometimes people do bring up certain characters' bad actions from a certain comic where they were written by someone that seems to not know shit about the characters and made horrible decisions such as making them say something misogynist, for e.g. And some of you people really hold on, like, 3 shitty panels from a comic from 2 decades ago to prove "how bad/sexist/racist/etc" a character is, when they are completely ignoring who the writer is, if what that writer wrote makes sense with what is mostly know/established about that character, if it still applies in more recent comics with the most recent version/characterization of the character. Like, i am not saying people cannot talk about these scenes/panels and criticise/complain about them, like they can, everyone can, but first there is the need to make clear the context of the panels, who wrote it/what era is that comic from (sometimes just this explains a lot) and maybe say at the end "thank fuck they don't write that character like that anymore" or something else along those lines - because ya know context matters in this stuff and while, yes, everything that was written and published by DC comics is canon, i think it's also important to understand where the character is at now compared to that "bad writing version of them" and how this "bad version" compares to other writing from the past or same time of that specific comic. Sometimes that "bad version" is just a speck in an ocean of some pretty good or just decent writing of that character.

Jason fans seem to always be arguing and dividing themselves with black and white ideas of how Jason is, and especially on how he was as Robin:

So... just like anything and any other character fandom out there, the fans tend to also separate themselves in groups defined by what they choose to believe about a certain character. Especially with such complicated characters as the ones from comics that have like a billion versions of themselves.

When it comes to Jason, people devide themselves into very specific ways they see him, for e.g. the most known fractions are:

Robin Jason was an innocent happy boy until modern comics came and ruined it by making him angry out of nowhere (which makes no sense when Post-crisis Jason was shown "doing violence" since his introduction. i mean ya, it was in self-defence when he was scared by Batman finding him stealing his car's tires. But like,, sometimes these people act like the mere thought of Jason doing anything violent or being angry is impossible or complete character assassination when it makes sense that Jay would be phycally and emotionally protective of himself with violence and anger due to his trauma, hard time having to survive alone on the streets and dealing emotionally with all he was been through).

Robin Jason was angry and violent 24/7 (okay this is a general exaggeration, but there are people that think that Jay was mostly angry as Robin, when like during his original Post-crisis comic run he had like 4 big "anger and violence" moments and they all had understanding reasons on Jason's part to be angry and become violent with who he did).

The "the fault is on the Lazarus Pit" crowd (or just on anything and anyone else except Jason himself,, which is kinda ironic because Jason in canon, even at his worse, always took responsability for his violent actions, so...).

Jason is the big protector of women and children (i already wrote what i had to write about this).

And like, these examples and many other fractions, aren't wrong about these characterizations, because, yes, these come from canon, but, again, the problem is with people focusing solelly on one of these sets of characterization, to the point where they ignore the other parts of the character - aka they flanderize the character - which is pretty annoying tbh.

DC fans that claim that the only reason Jason is angry when he returns as the Red Hood is because of his death:

First of all, i know that some people just joke about this in the sense that "it is ridiculous that Jason is angry at the world because he died, when so many other characters have been tortured, have died and returned from the dead in the comics, and especially in DC. So, him and his trauma are not that special". And while i get where the joke comes from, and that DC's most recent writing of Jay's trauma just focusing on on his death at the hands of the Joker doesn't help it. But,, Jason's main issues and trauma don't relate that much to his death,, actually it can be argued that since he returned from the dead that he doesn't really care if he dies again. i don't think that "his greateast fear is to die again", as some seem to believe. i said it before and i will say it again,, Jason's trauma relates more to being let down by his loved ones, especially by his parental figures, feeling like he doesn't matter enough to his dad (aka Bruce) and that the systems that hurt him and continue to hurt others are still rolling and going without any significant change. (For not saying that he never, even to this day, got Justice for what Joker did to him,, which is also ironic because, ya know, Batman and DC's stories are all about Justice... i know this is more complex than this, but this is often a point that gets dismissed to a degree in discussions about Jason and why he wants revenge on the Joker and Bruce. It's not about him dying, it's about not having Justice for himself when he has a father figure that could give him that, but as we all know he didn't, at least not how Jason needed/expected it,, and the fact that Joker still keeps hurting people to this day - thou this problem also comes from the fact that for meta reasons, DC cannot kill the Joker to "give Jason some peace", because he is one of the most popular characters, villains and antagonists to Batman, so there is that).

And while, like i wrote before, people are allowed to joke about Jay "being too emotional over dying, when others have died too and haven't done what he did because of it", i think it's also important to understand that, well, that is actually an exaggeration, ya know, reducing/flanderizing Jason to just "a violent crybaby that is angry at the world just because he died", which again, gives a very reduced and wrong idea about the character to people that don't know much about him. Which is kinda ironic, imo, because sometimes the same people that either joke or seriously describe Jason like this will lose their shit on other people's joke posts about the characters they like more, so like??

Just... ya know the saying -> if you are going to joke/shit/criticise/be mad at a character at least do it about stuff they actually did and/or characteristics that are more consistently shown through out their canon writing.

There seems to be a lack of empathy (especially this one)/sympathy towards Jason coming from a meta level (writers and fans) and the in-universe people (aka characters in Jason's story)

i know that this part just by the title alone can come off as a little bit "dumb", because i am basically saying that no one understands Jason Todd,, which is ridiculous because i didn't create him and, tecnically speaking, the ones that know him the most are the people that created him, wrote him and own him, aka DC comics and their writers. Which is funny considering that for the most part of this post and most Jason Todd fans are always criticising and complaining about Jay's writing. But i think that when we say that "no one understands Jason Todd", we tend to refer more to the modern interpretations and writers of the character. Thou, when i say that other characters don't understand Jason in-universe that is totally right.

(Little note here: i am gonna come off as pretty critical of Bruce and his treatment of Jason. Though that doesn't mean that i think Bruce doesn't love his son. Also, Bruce loving Jay doesn't mean he understands his son, and him not understanding his son doesn't mean he doesn't love him. Bruce loves his son, and Jason loves his dad, they love each other a lot... the problem is them misunderstanding each other.)

So,, let's start this section by taking a step back to Post-crisis Robin Jason and keep going from there.

Jason is introduced to us and Batman as a street kid that had "...stones to rip off the Batman´s buggy--". And Jason's first response to seeing Batman is to hit him with the tire iron and run to his hideout. We see he is alone, defensive and that he misses his mother, and he is making everything he can to survive. This is also where we see Jay have a "sense of justice" or at least an understanding that, even if he also steals, there is a difference between him and other people stealing to survive and stealing for more selfish means, like Ma Gunn was doing in Jason's intro story. So, it is made very clear that Jay is not just some punk that enjoys stealing or hurting or seeing people being wronged and used, like the boys that were sent to Ma Gunn's school were (which fair, included Jason at the time, but he didn't have that much of a hard time running from her. For not saying that when he did he still thought by himself to go after her, when he could have just taken his new stolen tire and simply go home, without returning to help Batman). Then he is taken in by Bruce and he is happy being Robin and staying with Bruce for quite a while.

But... the lack of empathy already begins to show through Bruce, that doesn't seem to wrap his head around what Jason needs to heal from his trauma, and comes off more as patronizing when he "teaches Jason about how to do Justice in their Unjust world", which comes off as even worse when you think about the fact that he is telling that to a kid that was seen and lived those injustices practically since day one. And that is because Bruce cannot get out of his own vision of justice and of healing after a traumatic experience. And especially because Bruce doesn't seem to grasp that Jason's trauma is based on a lot of more difficult and traumatic moments than just having a single defining traumatic moment that changed his path in life forever in a big way, like it happened to Bruce and Dick when their parents died (i know that Bruce and Dick suffered through other traumatic events after their parents' deaths and especially as vigilantes, but the point i am trying to make is that, after becoming heroes and having dealt with their biggest trauma through finding ways to do Justice, they eventually "got used" in how to deal with current and future traumatic events, while Jason as just a 12-year-old kid went through too many traumatic things at such a very young age which compiled into his overall trauma, so it's not just dealing with one single defining moment of trauma, it's a colection of more of those from even before Jay became Robin - and that's what Bruce seemed to miss - also, that not everyone is gonna deal with their trauma, even if it is similar, the same way he did, like sometimes he really forgets that, especially when it comes to his children). But,, even with this in mind, i and others actually think that the writing here, including a little after Jay's death, was more sympathetic (at least) towards Jay's situation than next comics and writers were - and that is because at least, originally, despite Bruce lacking some understanding in how to help Jason, he actually did try with Jay and there wasn't that much villainization of Jay's behaviour, either coming from the writing or from Bruce himself,, considering that, at least, Bruce blames himself for Jason's death instead of the blame being put on Jay completely, and Bruce did try to understand and help Jay before, even if he took a while to "try to do something" and he still failed his son. Thou, there is also a disregard towards Jay's situation coming from other characters as well, such as when the Titans, that together with Bruce, would say things that compared Jason to Dick, and obviously more in the sense of "Dick was amazing, hopeful, less angry, etc., than you are as Robin", which obviously contributed to Jason's insecurities.

And while previous writing of the characters makes them "miss the mark" in understanding Jason,, which can just be seen as a character flaw and a indicator of the fact that the Heroes that existed and that Jay encountered at that time just didn't have similar experiences to Jay to make it easier to understand him and that they all were being kinda "narrow minded" because they missed when their friend, Dick, was Robin,, at least the writing of the story and certain parallels between Jason and some victims he and Bruce encountered did give some validity to how Jason feels.

Then Jay dies, the story when Bruce "beats himself" over Jason's death passes, which fine, quite valid, the characters need to move on. But... the next Post-crisis writers decided to turn Jay from a tragic and misfortunate story to a cautionary tale - and this is where the victim blaming of Jason Todd starts to happen.

So, from this point on the writing starts to look at Jason more as a failure that all young heroes need to avoid becoming. Then this is made even worse when Tim Drake comes around, as the new and cooler Robin that is also more relatable, with some comparisons and jokes made at the expense of Jason and his tragedy, which makes the perception of Jason as a failure even worse. Like, DC was really so stupid that they thought that putting emphansis on Tim's perspective on a kid that he knows next to nothing about was the best and correct way to look at Jason in their overall writing... they didn't even try in making other characters that actually knew Jason, like Dick and Bruce, correct Tim on his assumptions - and why is that?? Well, obviously, because DC really wanted to drive home to the readers that Jason was the "bad angry Robin that got himself killed because of his recklessness"... like it can even be said that Tim showed more respect to Jason's Robin memorial than he did Jason as a person. And while Tim making wrong and bad assumptions about Jay is okay, and again, something that can be seen as a character flaw to explore,, the fact that the writers just chose to reinforce Tim's vision of Jason through other characters is just so stupid and makes it look like no one really knew or even cared about Jason Todd, because they needed to focus on "Jason being the bad Robin" narrative. And again,, the fact that characters that knew and were close to Jason, aka Bruce, Alfred and Dick, didn't correct Tim and contributed, and might even given this idea since the begining to Tim viewing Jason as being too "angry and reckless" and that this is what got him killed, could have been used to explore this flawed vision of Jason that these characters had of him as something that was the result of grief, and perhaps of denial that they failed him (especially in Bruce's case that was there when Jay died)... but naw DC just decided to make everyone seem like assholes towards Jay's memory, a 15-year-old kid that died trying to save his mother (which wow, how tf did no one realize how this came accross when DC wrote and published this...).

Thou, as ironic as it might sound, after Jay digs himself out of his grave (because this poor boy can never have any rest) and spends one year in a coma and then waking up and walking catatonic through the streets of Gotham all alone for almost another year, the person that ends up showing him the most understanding is Talia al Ghul, even if at first she might have just cared about her own plans. So, she is the one that shows and gives affection to Jason, trains him and actually gives him the tools to start his path of healing, even if it is filled with more violence than ever before and revenge. And this is where Jason is finally able to "let loose" to show the world his anger towards it's injustice, where he goes after horrible people that hurt innocents and ends their torture of others once and for all, and he actually gets to show and tell Bruce and the Heroes that they failed him and that their methods might not be as good/effective as they think.

But, this is where people also start (both writers and especially readers) not liking Jason even more or to outright hating him, which fair, he did do some actions towards certain people that, no matter how you look at it, always will be wrong and outright horrible. Which might turn Jason into a little bit of an hypocrite himself, just like Bruce and other Heroes. And while it's not a problem, at all, to critique Jason’s actions when he returned as the Red Hood, this is often used to downplay or outright dismiss Jason’s pain and at least the sympathy that he should still have (or even actually have to begin with) from the writers, audience and in-universe characters. Even as he redeems himself and shows regrets about his actions that he did during his worse time, in more recent stories, people will never forget or forgive and stop holding over his character what a "horrible person he is for his mistakes", even if in the real world it was been 12 years since he started his redemption and in-universe, for a couple of years (at least around 2 years, not sure because comics timelines and ages are a mess, but for quite sometime now either way) he has been putting in the effort to respect his father's wishes and become a "better vigilante" that doesn't kill.

But either way it is put,, Jay doesn't seem to have the right to be right in any capacity anymore, to have valid reasons to still be mad but move on from it just being about his death, and going back to being about the other trauma he went through, which almost everyone seems to have forgotten about, especially because the newest writers or DC superiors forgot about it or outright erased it. So, the parts that gave a "clear reason" to feel for and understand Jason were thrown out of the window so they could just make a back and forth between Jay and Batman, where Bruce is mostly the one in the right, despite being the one that failed so many times at helping his son, and a lot of times being the one that caused Jay more pain than anything or anyone else.

And, honestly, the people that use the "Pit Madness" excuse/explanation aren't giving Jason understanding either, they are just giving him an out so the character can be "redeemed" without actually having anything to redeem himself for,, after all it isn't his fault, so why would he need to take responsability or have a valid reason to do what he did, he simply doesn't have a reason, it's just the Pit controling him and his anger or something. Like a puppet... which comes off more as "fake sympathy" because these people seem to only be capable to empathize/sympathise with Jay if he wasn't in control of his violent actions.

Also, maybe he doesn't need/deserve to be forgiven for the way he hurt people that didn't deserve it (such as Mia, Onyx and Tim), but he does deserve at least some understanding, and understanding doesn't mean you agree to his methods, to how he went about "warning Batman and the Hero community of their errors". And it's a damn shame that this seems to be a hard concept for some writers and fans to grasp.

Plus, it's also such a shame that nowadays writing decided to "corrupt" the little that Jay had as Robin by painting him as an angry and violent punk with no good reasons for why he is like he is. Where is that understanding for that kid that went through such a hard life, that just continued and continues to give him nothing but hardships and pain.

So,, i just wanted to conclude that i think Jason had enough of people (both in meta and in-universe) only painting him as if he is "one of the worst people there was/is", that he deserved the pain he went through, claiming that he had no way to have it better, when that couldn't be further from the truth, if he was properly given the chance to grow out of the cycle of violence and pain, that he still wasn’t fully able to move away from even to this day.

Ending my headaches with this post

Generally, i think it's so funny to think about how much our generation gets attached to fictional characters in such a personal way. And while it is valid to feel and express either positive or negative feelings towards a character and their actions, i think that these need to be more balanced and about things that are true about the character, aka coming from canon, as much as canon gives us so many shitty ideas and some really questionable writing choices. Like, at this point i am so tired that DC keeps doing this to Jay... DC, just please make up your mind once and for all in either or not you want Jay to be part of the Batfam and give him something else to do besides always being at odds with his family and going back and forth in working with and not working with them... just find some basic consistency with him, we ain't asking for much.

And again, just because i love Jason and i did defend him more than criticised him during this post, that doesn't mean that i agree or defend everything he did and/or believed/believes in,, i just enjoy his character and some stories (or really the potential that he had/has) and to discuss about it. But sometimes the writing and some fan opinions really annoy me so much, so i feel the need to camplain about them... so, this is why i made this rant on Jason Todd, one of my favourite characters, despite all the shit he gets.

Anyway,, thanks for coming and reading another one of my Jason Todd rants.

#jason todd #robin #red hood #dc critical #fandom critical #dc meta #dc comics #dc #alexa talks here

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Okay two ideas for Toxic!Sona x Miguel

The first being Venom!Moche:

Moche is infected with venom by the Spanish Army and passes out. When she wakes up the voice in her head is unknowingly replaced with Aia, so she basically accepts the symbiote right away without second guessing

Or

A Potential New Sona that's just evil in general without venom

The Widow:

A sona named just The Widow.

Her husband (not Miguel) worked for Alchamax but died, leaving her a widow. Since she was alone with no kids Alchamax decided to secretly experiement on her. Since no one would really notice or miss her.

So they tested on her the spider that turned her from a widow into The Widow

She meets Miguel and joins the Society and they get together. And she feels really safe and proud of herself.

Because in her eyes she went from a 'lowly widow' to, basically what she sees as ruling everything everywhere all at once

Going from alone in her empty house drunk on wine, to overseeing the most powerful beings in the universe.

She LOVES canon events. Canon made her a fucking queen.

She's on her Jobu Tupaki shit

She's finally happy cause nothing can catch her off guard ever again. She can always be one step ahead. They're the canon now. SHE'S the canon now.

She went from nobody to the one of the only two who gets a say.

All thanks to Miguel - who she actually likes but is also of course gaming cause she sees him as unbelievably thoughtless and soft in a lot of bad areas.

She's not evil. She understands his loss. She actually empathizes. That's what they bond over.

but If SHE can't be with a variant of HER HUSBAND because he says she can't, then she will make damn sure he is running everything as militantly.

If she has to put up with the grief so does everybody else including him.

She's the one who he sends to deal with members like Gwen who cause an anamoly for any reason. Even accident.

She does the 'uh huh, oh is that so?' thing he does. He gets it from her.

After he sends Gwen home and he's all angry she just goes 'So how he'd know two days?'

And Miguel goes silent.

Because he was the one who told Miles.

And she just smiles and goes "So this is your fault? This is because of your stupidity. Your thoughtlessness. And you're here, throwing a fit like a child? Is that how you want me to treat you, like a insulate, incompetent, emotional CHILD?"

And suddenly it's all flipped on him. It's not Gwens fault or Peter's or Jess's or Miles' it's HIS

That'd hit him like a TRAIN.

-------------------/--/---------------

So uh yeah.

Widow kinda became her own thing there. Ahem. But imagine.

IMAGINE

I can ship two OCs with one character and have them exist on two different timelines in which the other does not exist who says I can't

OCS JUST BE SPAWNING IN MY HEAD I'M SORRY I'm promise I'm not doing this on purpose like excuse me y'all this is not a Fortnite lobby

#spiderman #atsv #spider man #marvel #across the spiderverse #spidersona #spidersonas #miguel x spidersona #miguel x oc #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara x oc #miguel ohara x oc

[dolokhoded]

80s jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 3 (jesus, judas, jb)

my sincere apologies i know i said i'd bost judas "in a little bit" about. 2 weeks ago. here they are. @ that one anon who asked me about judas, my brain works very slowly, there he is

JESUS

ok starting off jesus is gender wacky. idk what he is i use he/him for him but calling him a man feels off. he's my favorite gender identity which is wack.

being somewhat divine does that to you you don't really care for the labels society has completely made up. ANYWAYS

i don't even know what i'm gonna write for jesus i'm sure you know what kinda guy jesus was. 

okay. grew up in nazareth with his parents miriam and yosef and his siblings 

(don't ask me why im using the hebrew form of names for the parents but not jesus himself. it's because we have a hundred marys.)

he has three siblings, two sisters and one brother, and he's older than all of them with a pretty big age gap, he was kind of an accidental pregnancy

(or, y'know, the son of god. but who knows ! )

had a relatively normal life compared to everyone else. i guess reparations for how well his life went last time idk.

jesus is also the only one out of them all who has somewhat of a sense that they've all existed together somewhere before ? he doesn't clearly remember any of it, but he did recognize his disciples when he met them.

he also has a lot of nightmares. they're vague, but very painful.

anyways aside from that pretty decent upbringing. he always knew that he wanted to help people as much as he can.

he learned carpentry from his dad and although he did study political science he ended up just running his father's shop.

however of course he also runs his organization ! which i really struggle to pick a main cause for because like it's jesus ? i feel like he'd care about anything that helps people he's just trying to make the world a little better.

idk. i'll think about it.

before he was doing that he was doing a lot of activist and volunteer work alongside his cousin john ! you guys know cousin john !

and therefore already had a lot of peers and a lot of friends who then followed him and supported him. the first being andrew, who was very close with john and was there when there was just talk between the three of them and maybe some more friends about jesus starting his own cause

aside from carpentry, which he obviously likes and is very good at, jesus is actually a little bit of a creative in general.

he just started with woodcarving with his leftover supply for fun and then slowly moved on to clay and occasionally even sculpting.

likes to give stuff shape anyways

cares so much for his whole team and always reminds them to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves however he has not practiced self care a single DAY in his entire LIFE

will overwork himself to exhaustion if someone doesn't physically drag him away. has before.

for an all loving creature he has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob

dgmw he's great. he's kind to everyone and all that. he's understanding.

still has not known what the fuck is going on a day in his entire life. each time any of his friends looks the slightest bit off he comes to the wildest possible conclusion.

most of the time said conclusion being that it's his fault

he might be a tiny bit self-centered. usually not in a positive way towards himself either, it just means he thinks he's the cause of everything bad happening in his life.

feels like the world revolves around him, just in a very pessimistic way

but he's got a lot on his plate can you blame him.

love how i went "yeah he's relatively doing pretty well" and then gave him a bunch of issues lol sorry jesus

JUDAS

welcome, queers, i know you're here for him, here he is

judas is an only child and comes from a very rich family.

his parents own an insurance company and have like a bunch of buildings they're renting.

generational wealth, basically. it's all inherited and they're making a shit ton of money out of nothing it's all already set up.

judas' family is also very religious.

and i know that so far two out of the two times i've said that it means the parents are assholes but i swear it's not like that james and john's parents are also religious it just wasn't relevant.

but yeah judas' parents are, in fact, assholes. judas was very involved at the temple from very early childhood.

which unfortunately led to him being abused by religious officials that he could supposedly trust and grew up with.

especially once he started growing into his teens and came to the realization that he very much Does Not like women.

which his parents didn't love either.

somewhere around that time he started to distance himself from his family, especially once he moved away for university. judas studied political science but halfway through kind of changed career plans and double majored in journalism

which was very demanding but he did it anyways !

in university he meets jesus. jesus is in his third year when he's in his first and helps him out a lot. they're both very politically active too and always meet at protests and charity events etcetcetc so, yeah, they know each other. and sure there's something there but judas is very closed off and they drift apart when jesus graduates.

oh, judas also has depression, he was diagnosed at age ten, his family was very ashamed of that as well.

in his last year of university, he falls out with his parents once and for all.

they already weren't close, judas was very hurt by them and obviously he had a lot of personal issues with them but to him the line came when he found out about a lot of things that were going on behind closed doors in his parents' company, they were scamming a lot of innocent people and also partnering with a lot of . really just scum of the earth kind of people.

judas got rightfully very upset and had absolutely zero reason to keep covering up any of this. so he didn't ! and obviously that was very disastrous for the company.

judas gets disowned. not legally, but his parents cut all ties with him. not that he wasn't going to do that himself anyways.

obviously though as a consequence he suddenly has very very limited money. luckily for him he's currently in a relationship with his guy, isaac, who's very happy to let him move into his apartment. it would benefit him too to share the rent anyways. as it turns out, isaac's not a great guy ! judas himself isn't too well either so they have a very weird very unhealthy very codependent relationship and though they fight a lot it takes judas two years until he finally finds the strength to walk out on him.

judas didn't think that through very well because he doesn't really have anywhere to go. to his luck, guess who he runs into !

it's jesus. of course it's jesus this is the dolokhoded bible where the main character is still jesus, no matter how much i love to talk about james and simon.

jesus is on his way to a meeting with his team and he's like hey why don't you come along. and judas does. and that's it, he meets the whole gang, he ends up rooming with andrew and philip for a while before he gets his own place.

and, y'know. he does, eventually, in an excruciatingly slow process that tests the patience of all of their friends, get together with jesus.

okay i prob have to write this too uhh sad stuff ahead judas attempts once.

he's spiraling and overworking himself and hiding it pretty well. has some petty fight with john that jesus scolds him about and then has another fight with jesus over that and overall it's not going swell.

strangely enough it's john who decides to check on him after that. he has not gotten along with judas a day in his life but he could tell how upset he was and jesus is hurt and also a little petty and isn't gonna go do it himself so he decides he might as well. to his horror he stumbles into. well. yeah

he survives.

he moves in with jesus, john and matthew for a while after that.

(a lot of them are rooming they don't have much money)

goes back to therapy too.

okay sad stuff over. it gets better. he's doing well. gets a job at an independent news page and becomes quite known among his circles for his work too.

JOHN THE BAPTIST

or JB.

he does not baptize anyone. his first name is john baptist. don't ask me the logic of being named after himself when he hasn't existed yet for people to be named after him ok making an au of a defining characteristic of current human society is fucking difficult

jesus' cousin. his mother, elisheba, is miriam's sister. she's a good fifteen years older than her, and was in her fourties the year that both jesus and jb were born so her getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise.

grew up with jesus and they're very close. they studied together and they theorized together and they discussed everything together.

very big on environmental activism. and by consequence very very anti-capitalism. very anti-fast fashion, for multiple reasons. also vegan :).

jb genuinely believes the human race is the universe's biggest abomination and we should just go extinct. he's not wrong.

he doesn't pick favorites (but he does and they're andrew and philip they're his favorites)

philip was sort of his right hand

he's kind of there to encourage all the shit jesus can't if he doesn't want absolute chaos and zero planning. give simon a pat on the back for getting into fights with racists and all that.

generally he's a little more radical that jesus is. they don't agree on everything but they both respect each other's stances.

he's so well read. it's obvious too, they're all educated obviously, but this guy talks and you can tell he knows his shit. it's very impressive.

and not even in the sense of being well informed and reading theory he knows literature he knows art he's so cultured and i don't like using the word cultured because it often brings to mind a very western very white very high class perception of "culture" but that's not what i'm talking about here.

jb calls himself an atheist in a more political sense. he believes that people shouldn't rely on some higher force to give humanity and morality substance and should instead search for meaning inside those things alone, otherwise they won't have the right motivations to be moral and therefore their beliefs will have no strong foundation.

he grew up jewish but his relationship with his faith is very personal to him and stays between him and god. he doesn't care to discuss it with anyone, except maybe jesus a few times.

sort of everyone's go-to person for advice. he's there to talk the stupid out of them.

his mother was a seamstress, and he learned from her. he likes to make a lot of his own clothes.

professionally, however, he's a translator. he speaks hebrew, english, greek, russian and arabic. (also a little bit of french and german. he's not qualified to translate those though) (is constantly in the process of learning more)

he just fixated on different alphabets as a teenager a little too hard.

#bible fandom #dolokhoded bible #took me. EIGHTEEN DAYS approximately. #im doing either matthew and philip or matthew philip And either thomas or nathanael next. #whoever doesnt make it to the next post is banished with thad and little james. my dallas jenkins era. #(i am joking fuck dallas jenkins)

[lazykim12]

“Oh man! You cut me to size! Ow! My little buttercup!”

-Kenta Au once more! (Well laxo and Kenta kinda I guess) but here she is once more! Drew Fanart of her once more!

yes I added a jack stauber Song quote from buttercup cuz..she has buttercups in her hair, but also I can kinda see the song matching a little with her? Maybe I’m wrong or so but AHH MADE MORE FANART FOR KENTA! (well for the what if Au Kenta not sure how or what I should name this Au!, I decided to make a bit of a change in the Au of her hair fur? Getting more longer, so she can put more buttercups in her hair fur without them falling out when she wants! (Wanted to make her design a little different from cannon to kinda make them look different due to the changes that would happen in the first volume-)

Now onto the bit of lore I guess? For the Au! Or well the idea of what I want to do?

AU KENTA IN ASKON

Kenta is less tired, and more brightful in this Au, since she’s kinda free from the dark realm and being a trainee, she kinda socials more!

But she kinda keeps to herself at the same time, though I’d feel like she would still have a bit of fear since the day she saw her brother’s eye get ripped out by her dad..she sometimes can’t sleep at night because of the memory. Sometimes she feels like she could’ve done more, but in no way does laxo want her to feel that way, which is obvious, none of it was her fault, but everyone has doubts, and she can’t help but doubt it, even though what laxo tells her is true.

She really does her best to be there for Laxo, she knows life has been…something for the both of them, so now knowing they are…at least free from that for the moment, she wants to try and be strong for Laxo, to support him mentally, protect him like how he has protected her in their life. She’s a bit..tired like her original self, but tries her best to be mentally strong- (which sometimes overwhelms her.)

Now in no way does she think Laxo can’t be strong himself and protect himself or thinks he’s someone who needs to be protected at all times and not fight his battles…she just wants to make sure he has a shoulder to be there for him…

she’s glad he knows Kane, but…she’s scared at times, what if Kane is like….Aiden?..what if disaster falls again, what if something happens to her and laxo again?

She tries not to let the thoughts fill her mind, things are okay, and they will be..is what she keeps telling herself.

Now with Kenta here, laxo sort of pushes her away, but in no way where she feels like she’s alone or anything, just he keeps how he feels sometimes bottled up just like cannon, he does talk with her and all that more than with Kane, but he tries to keep to himself still with what he deals with, for her safety and not wanting over worry her, stress her with his own issues.

And…Im sure Au Kenta’s emotional state would definitely crack during the banishment part of Laxo’s story in this Au, after everything, now she lost the only person she feels like she can trust and go to, she would feel lost…

and especially confused if she was there when laxo was getting banished/sent to the dark realm.(An idea for her in this Au, To the first volume to the third, her flowers in her hair would start to die, but won’t fall out, with Kenta still having that hope to be strong despite everything going on)

. . . AHH OKAY, hopefully everything seems realistic to the characters, and hopefully I didn’t phrase anything wrong! These are just one idea/more info I had, I guess for the what if Au! (Not sure if should give it a name…) these characters don’t belong to me and are belonged to @gloomforrestrunes ! Go check out their comic runes! 0:✨

(For Slugterra content, I will be posting an artwork finally of one of the characters 👀 stay tuned for that!)

#digital aritst #digital arwork #alternative universe #art #Kenta Paxon #Laxo Paxon #other characters mentioned #what if moment #au idea #fanart

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning

So, I saw The Beginning yesterday at an AMC theater. I saw it subbed to keep things consistent. I'm gonna split up my reaction into two parts: experience and the movie itself. Angry rant ahead...

Side note: Why is this movie called "The Beginning?" Are they planning more...? (I mean, they're always planning more I guess lol).

Theater Experience:

Always such a delight to see an anime movie in theaters, it's becoming as common as every-other-month these days which is very exciting! It's very rare that I get to see a movie like this that's a continuation of a series. Usually I'm not caught up enough to do that (although I did watch the Shirobako and Jujutsu Kaisen movies without watching the shows lol).

I had no idea that they were going to give me trading cards as I walked in!! This seems to becoming a more common gimmick these days. When I saw the most recent MHA movie they gave me a mini manga. More of this please! I know it's just cheap junk, but it makes the whole thing feel like an experience :D

Theater was more crowded than I expected and full of geeks, of course. I heard someone's ring tone go off and it was a Digimon sound effect. When the ad for the vital bracelet played one dude proudly shook his wrist in the air. I saw a Gatomon plush and the dude in front of me got so hype for the digivolutions that he started filming it on his phone (which I don't condone, but it was kinda funny seeing how into it he was).

Not a single child in the crowd. I guess this movie is obvious millennial-bait tho, so that's to be expected. (Also it was 7pm on a dark Thursday).

Cute little intro interview with the director was cute. My brain had to adjust to reading subtitles on a big screen. I guess I just don't watch foreign films outside the home too often.

Movie Reaction (MAJOR SPOLERS AHEAD):

WTF did I watch!? This movie was batshit crazy and I have many conflicting emotions. I feel like it was simultaneously super intense and really bland at the same time? Let me elaborate...

Putting aside the new dude for a second, the 02 cast really didn't do much in this at all. They all kind of acted as a collective instead of feeling like distinct people with their own roles to play. Their entire motivations/existence revolved around Lui's plot line which is really a bummer. Some characters, like Iori and Hikari were especially sidelined and bland (not that Iori was that great to begin with lol).

The only scenes I really liked with the 02 cast were when everyone (especially Miyako) was telling Lui to cut the edgy crap and just talk to them. I like when aloof characters are called out like that. Also, I liked the part where Miyako accused Daisuke and Ken of flirting teehee (queer baiting!? In MY digimon??) That got a laugh out of the audience too.

Okay...moving onto Lui's story. Jesus Christ. I liked where it was going at first and thought the whole grimdark, Madoka angle (major Kyuubey vibes) was interesting (if not a little too over the top), but then (in my opinion) they COMPLETELY bungled things!! So essentially, Ukkomon kills Lui's parents and potentially multiple children in their efforts to "make Lui happy" by making all the humans in his life behave "correctly." Horrifying and effectively creepy (especially in the scene where they "puppet" Lui's parents). This all culminates in Lui "killing" Ukkomon and losing his eye (which then gets replaced with Ukkomon's eye). I was on board for this horror angle, but then the 02 kids were like "awwww, poor Ukkomon~" WHAT. THE. FUCK. A kid tells you that a monster thingy killed your parents and your reaction is "but did you try being their friend??" Nooooo! So basically the rest of the movie is the kids victim blaming/gaslighting Lui into submission and he's like "you know what? It IS my fault that my parents died! I should have been a better friend." NOPE. This madness just ruined the whole thing for me. Like, what the hell were they thinking? Anyway, rant over. I'll go back to talking about the not as heinous things now.

I liked Ukkomon's sea angel-based design. I didn't exactly find them cute but they were good at being creepy. It was definitely disturbing to see what happens when a digimon partner is HATED by their human.

The "Unkomon" joke was funny but they didn't give a translator's note or anything so I was wondering how many people in my theater got it lol (I guess it depends on how much anime you've seen).

Lui's digimon eye looked really stupid and I think they knew that because they covered it up for most of the movie. I think it was more effectively shown in brief closeups but anymore than that it was just too goofy looking to take seriously.

The scenes about digimon bonds and the (obviously fake) threat of losing them were boring and cheesy. I think they were going for heartwarming, but something about it was very forced. The stakes definitely never felt real.

At the beginning of the movie they used smartphones to digivolve instead of their D3s...wha...?

Speaking of D3s, when they faded away (weirdly slowly) at the end and Hikari was like "what even was the digivice for anyway?" I had to laugh. That's what I've been saying! The lore around digivices, D3s, Arcs (or whatever Tamers wanted me to call them) has always been so vague. Anyway, I feel like they should be more concerned. Doesn't this mean they can't digivolve now...? (They acted like the power of friendship would just make it happen somehow, but I'm not convinced).

The updated digivolution scenes were fun (and funny to see on the big screen), but after watching Tamers, they still seemed lazily done comparatively. I still dislike that they show the greater digivolution at the start of the sequence. What's the point of that?

The movie started with Bolero, because of course. I had to roll my eyes at the nostalgia pandering. We also got a random reference to the first Digimon Adventure short film. That felt jarring since the animation style is so different.

So like...Lui time traveled and told his abusive mom to "be nice cuz your son loves you" and that just stopped all abuse forever? Riiiight...What is it with anime's crappy handling of child abuse lately? They pulled this same shit in Belle. You can't stop domestic violence by going "tsk tsk" to the abuser!

Rolling my eyes at Lui's introduction: "He's the first kid to ever partner with a digimon AND he has a super special eye AND cool grey hair AND his digimon can grant wishes." Serious "My OC don't steal!!" vibes.

Wait...I don't think they ever followed through with the "Ukkomon is connected to a digimon God" plot thread. Is that for the sequel or something? (Digimon 02 2 - The End? lol)

We got a little shipping stuff with Miyako and Ken at the end there. They had zero chemistry in the show and they continue to have zero chemistry in the movie...yaaaay.

I feel like, other than Daisuke and Lui, they just gave all the other guys the same haircut and they faded into the background lol. Ken just looks like some guy now.

Ukkomon's eldritch design was cool. I wish they just let him be evil instead of misunderstood...

So yeah, the writing in this was kind of a train wreck but I had fun regardless! Very curious to hear the dubbed version someday. How many people reprised their roles?

#digimon adventure 02: the beginning #digimon adventure 02 #digimon #movie #film

[eeveeas123]

Okay, full disclosure: I’m having trouble in my life. Like super stress!

2 of our dogs passed away a few months ago (Don’t worry about us having Eevee, she’s alive, River and Rocket passed). Also, being the only dog in our household is very hard on Eevee because she wants friends and loved to play (Plus, remember that dogs grieve too)

The day program I went to wasn’t for me but we waited months to get in! Now I have no place to go during the day unless we’re shopping or it’s a special weekend. We’re on the waiting list for another program but it could be years!

My Gran can’t drive because she had knee surgery recently. So Mum’s stuck doing the driving for everyone!

Mum is often sick. She has POTS which is a blood disorder that makes her dizzy, tired and weak sometimes. It’s just something she has to live with I guess. Because of POTS, Mum can’t even drive or help with certain things. People usually get upset when this happens (Which is understandable) but it’s really nobody’s fault, it’s a medical condition. She’s fainted a few times but she usually is just a bit dizzy

Yelling and fighting. Because of our collective stress, we often get overwhelmed with each other’s emotions/actions. Again, totally understandable, but when we’re all crammed into one small house with 6 humans, it’s crazy! Everyone has their own version of what happened to make them upset (Like “I’m mad because she’s so crabby! She won’t do anything!” When in reality, she is probably having a really hard time and you seem like the crabby one to her)

Stupid stuff I find on other social media platforms! Tumblr doesn’t bother me because it’s not like every 3rd or 4th post is going to make me extremely uncomfortable. On Instagram for example, every few posts is about weight loss/diets when I like post about body positivity/eating freedom (Not overkill but in an emotionally healthy sense) apparently those were related enough! I can’t even open the app without being reminded on who’s going to judge me. Honestly, it feels personal. I’m fat but I exercise and eat well, stop tormenting me, Instagram!

My boyfriend’s maturity. I’m 22 and he’s 27. But I’m talking about emotional maturity! I know it sounds childish to be too upset about the stuff he shows me that I don’t understand or can’t process without anxiety. He occasionally shows me something kinda depressing with a philosophical tone? If that makes sense? I have enough issues already so having this stuff stuck in my head is a problem. Maybe I’m not as mature as he is, y’know, to be able to handle these facts of life that are often proven true without feel afraid… It’s seriously causing me bad depression moments every day. I don’t tell him though because I don’t want him to be upset or worried

Thanks for listening🥹

#eeveeas123 #autism #autism service dog #autistic community #autistic women #autistic dating #adults with autism #autistic adult #autistic #autistic experiences

[0aurelion-sol0]

In just those 3 pages of this preview for the new ST comic, I have been more invested in El's character and story than I ever have in 3 seasons. (I haven't been able to find a way to read this comic yet so I only have this preview.)

One of my main problems with ST3 and ST in general, it's that we force El to be this savior-like entity or the only one who can do anything literally everytime she is somewhere on screen, for no real reasons sometimes and that's all she remains. Or in short reduced to her powers. Even when she lost her powers, we were forced to expect, somehow that she will somehow do something that will fix everything. The only thing she did is save herself by saving Billy but in the end this event was the closest thing you could call to a defeat in ST for everyone since Billy died and Hopper "died", Russians escaped and the gang had to seperate in the end.

In season 1, there was a reason why as it was her own way to "redeem herself" for opening the gate, at least that's what she thought even if it's wasn't her fault at all.

In season 2, she wasn't there and she only came back towards the end to close the Gate. Which came out of a collective effort to find that information through Will. Which yes, she was the only that could do that at the time but this ended in the others forced to do nothing for no real reason until they had the good idea to try to distract the Demodogs from attacking El and Hopper.

But in the end, this sort of thinking (I guess ?) isn't very much right or accurate because El has only really saved the world one time because the Demogorgon could have easily been killed by other stuff (she saved her friends but it's not an ending world threat type of of scenario) while the MF, an army of Demodogs, tunnels and a giant gate actually is.

We barely really have any thoughts on what this fighting does to her, it's there sometimes but it's either too subtle, ignored or shoved in the background because we don't have time to really get into it. Even in season 2 where we dug deeper into her backstory and some of the effect it had on her, her encounter with the Demogorgon and almost DYING is never really talked about.

So when FINALLY we get into it, still in a side comic book may I add, I can't be anything else than happy.

What does pushing herself in the action does to her ? What does getting face to face to these monsters does to her ? What are the wounds she carries ? What does she think of what she experienced ?

By making her just a stone cold hardcore badass savior-like character, we forget sometimes the personal and emotional aspect of her character despite being just a little girl who should by now not be thrown into such situations.

And with this comic we can clearly see what it does to her, she is just as terrified even exhausted of being confronted to those monsters. (Plus creates a parallel and a contrast with Will which is also very interesting.)

In the end, despite her powers, she is just a teenage girl who barely had a stable or "normal" life since forever. Despite being able to fight and go against those monsters, inside she doesn't want to face them. (Which reminds me a bit of what I said about what Millie's acting conveys in 3x06 and how that relates to El's wants, perception and the world she has been living in.) Plus merging that and comparing it with the way she lives and reacts to the "real" world, it's just (mwah!).

It's like being pushed into an abyss more and more because you have the means to handle it but in the end it doesn't really go well because you don't want it anymore despite how capable you might be. (Kinda reminds me a bit of Carol's arc in TWD in the second half of season 6 and season 7.)

That's interesting. That's nice. I want this. Where was this in season 2 and 3 ?! Or at least why wasn't this more explored ?! This is actually interesting, I'm on my season 2 El type of hype again, thanks to this.

I really hope this is an actual taste of her storyline or type of storylines we are getting into in season 4 because this actually looks good. If I ever watch season 4 and this is the type of stuff we get into with El, I'll be very much happy and go all in. This is the type of stuff I want.

Plus maybe a tease of what type of interactions that exists between the Byers and El in S4 and it is indeed quite interesting if that's what that's they're going for next season. 👀

#stranger things #el hopper #el byers #will byers #jonathan byers #the upside down #the mindflayer #the mind flayer #the shadow monster #the meat flayer #comics stranger things #comic stranger things #dark horse comics stranger things #stranger things comics #stranger things comic #stranger things dark horse comics

[qqueenofhades]

Feel free not to answer this because I feel like it’s a really heavy and rather personal and emotional thing, but you’re also one of the people whose opinion I respect the most and who I think would be able to offer a lot of help with this, and I think it might help some other people too, if it’s not too pretentious to say that. It’s definitely too pretentious, isn’t it.

For context, I’m a cis female lesbian, which is… both a good thing and also the stem of these problems.

First of all, queer people travel in packs, we all know that. It’s amazing, and somehow, most of my friends and I found each other even before any of us came out. It’s the unconscious gaydar, I guess. And more recently, a lot of my friends are coming out as different flavors of trans and nb, and in some ways, it feels like I’m the ONLY person who feels completely comfortable with their birth gender.

God it sounds really bad when I put it that way, and I know it kinda is. I barely know how to describe it, but in some ways, it feels like I’m almost the odd one left out, when most of my friends have that bonding experience and this new struggle they have to deal with, and I’m not able to help them out and be there for them in a way that I was when it was just sexuality in question (and believe me, that took me forever to figure out, and I imagine it’s much the same for gender). And. I dunno. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m one of the ONLY cis people in my friend group, and I feel almost guilty for that? Online there’s all the stuff about “oh it’s the cis people” and like, that’s me, I’m one of the people in question, and how some people act, it’s almost as though I’m not queer enough or something, like being lesbian isn’t enough to actually make me queer and that I have to be some flavor of trans as well. And I know that’s horrible to think, it’s an awful mindset to have, but it’s kinda how I feel. And to clarify, this is absolutely not my friend’s faults, they’re not saying or doing anything at all to imply what I’ve just said, it’s entirely my own fault and that of the internet.

Anyway, I’ll just leave that there for you, because I don’t have a resolution for it, that’s the problem.

My second problem is kinda similar. My two best friends are both enby aroace. One of them is a sex-repulsed ace, and we share a lot of same fandoms and things that we enjoy. They’re a S&B fan, for one, and a while back I sent them WDMTTPL because I figured they’d like it because it’s fantastically written and I love it so much. This is nothing personal to do with you, I’d like to clarify that. Anyway, they got to the first E rated scene and quit and refused to read the rest of it. That’s totally okay, that’s fine, they have every right not to enjoy the same stuff as me. Another thing we both like is Phantom of the Opera, have you seen that? There are two songs, one in the original and one in the (admittedly a shitshow with a good soundtrack) sequel, that yeah, they’re kinda about sex, but they’re still very nice songs. My friend calls the one in the sequel (the song being Beneath a Moonless Sky) as ALW’s E-rated sex fantasy song. It’s… not terribly explicit, in my opinion, but like I said, of course we have different opinions, and that’s okay. But they hate the song so much and whenever it comes up on a playlist or something that we’re listening to together, they always go and skip it. With that musical as a whole, Love Never Dies, it’s a shitshow like I said and it has horrible writing and I really just ignore all of the plot in favor of enjoying some of the few good songs in it. And because of how much they hate that song, which I think has fantastic music regardless of content, I almost feel guilty for liking it and for being a sex-positive person myself. It’s not like my friend saying “I don’t like this and so no one should like this” but in some ways it feels almost like that’s what they’re saying. It’s absolutely not their fault, but it feels like the same thing again. I feel guilty for being straight and not “queer” enough, I feel guilty for being a person who enjoys sex versus an aroace friend who really doesn’t, and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty about things I shouldn’t feel bad about.

The third one isn’t really along the same vein as the first one, but I think it’s one that does put me in the wrong and that I’m very conflicted about.

One of my friends is very openly poly and was ranting to us the other day about some thinly veiled homophobic (and specifically polyphobic) comments one of her professors made, and how for an essay in that class she’s writing about how poly marriage should be allowed and was asking for our opinions and stuff. Personally, I think it’s absolutely okay, I wouldn’t even be opposed to a poly relationship myself. However, eventually they got on the topic of the poly relationship of the variety where one person is married to two different people without those other two people being married together, but consensual between all three. And… something rubs me the wrong way about that. Something feels very inherently unequal and unfair about someone in a relationship with two other people without those people being together, ESPECIALLY if we’re talking marriage. And then I proceed to feel horrible about that, because who am I to judge what kind of love is okay, what kind of poly marriage should be allowed and what shouldn’t? Isn’t that just as bad as, say, telling a bi person in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender that they’re actually just straight? I still don’t feel like being in two seperate relationships at once can be fair or healthy, even if it IS consensual, but I feel horrible for almost gatekeeping something like that, and for getting into a heated debate with the friend in question about it. She also had a boyfriend at the time, and according to her, she said he’d be perfectly okay if she was to have a relationship with a different person beside him at the same time. And then I felt horribly petty, because they broke up like a week after my friend said all of that to the rest of us and that breakup may or may not have been related.

Anyway I have no good way of wrapping this up, I feel like it’s just been one big rant, and I know it’s very very personal and heavy, but you really are someone whose opinion I respect and would really appreciate hearing. You don’t have to answer this ask, because I know it’s a lot, but either way, thank you so much for taking the time to read this anyway.

Welp. Okay. First off, I am very honored that you trust me to talk about this to you, respect my opinion, and are interested in hearing my thoughts. For context, I am also a cis lesbian, and I suspect that I am somewhat-to-significantly older than you (10-15 years). So this is coming from a queer person in their thirties (not in their teens or twenties) and while I have plenty to say here, I'll start with this:

Basically, this ask is an encapsulation of everything that rubs me the wrong way about the online youth culture that has grown up on social media and calls itself "queer" and "progressive" while also uh, not being those things at all and often just being American Protestant evangelical purity culture. I hasten to stress that this is not your fault in any way, and nothing about what you have said is going to make me point a finger and go BAD QUEER PERSON! Instead, I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for you and the guilt and stress that you're enduring and putting yourself through, when you really, really don't have to. I promise. Because if you just changed a few names and descriptions, you could be telling me how unhappy you feel in a religious fundamentalist cult! And that breaks my heart. Because:

You constantly feel guilty about whether you're "enough" for the overall authority/presumed "right way" to be a queer person, and constantly think that you have to do "more" to justify your inclusion;

You hang out with people and in shared social spaces that consciously or unconsciously reinforce the idea that you're "doing it wrong";

You worry constantly about whether being an ordinary human person with a sex drive makes you "unclean," "filthy," "evil," "lesser", etc etc;

You worry that you're in the wrong for expressing any opinion that might run against the prevailing wisdom, no matter what that opinion is or how you arrived at it;

You also worry that this is all "your fault" for not being good enough, and that if you continue to not be good enough, it will reflect on you as a personal sin and lead to your exclusion from the group, and that will be all your fault and nobody else's;

And on and on.

Anyway: as I said, this is flat-out conservative evangelical Protestantism with the names changed, and that's what makes me so averse to the so-called progressive purity/anti culture that has taken so much root in youth queer spaces. This isn't your fault or even that of your friends', it's just a result of what all of you have learned by osmosis and think is the only way to Be Acceptably Queer. And that is hogwash. It is total nonsense. It is absolutely not true. If you're hanging out in places or with people that are constantly feeding and reinforcing this message, whether implicitly or explicitly, then you DO need to find new places, healthier places, with maybe some older queer people who aren't as beholden to the niche culture of Performative Internet Wokeness as the younger terminally-online generation. Because it is a niche culture, it is very small, it is not at all representative of the lives and experiences of queer people all around the world, and you absolutely do not need to let it dictate your thoughts and behavior to the point of making you feel this way about yourself (or even at all). Because listen here:

I am holding your face in my hands, I am looking you in the eye, I am telling you from the bottom of my queer cis lesbian ace-spec old gay adult heart: I LOVE YOU, BABY GAY. YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. AND AIN'T NOBODY, NOBODY AT ALL, GOT THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU OTHERWISE OR MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR BEING BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Okay? Got it? I mean it. I am aggressively loving on you right now, in a healthy, boundaries-appropriate way, and telling you that IT IS OKAY. You are queer just the way you are. You're not a secret straight. You don't have to add an endless list of uber-specific micro-labels or nuances or explanations. You're you. You're queer. That's it, end of story, nobody can say otherwise. If people try to make you feel bad about it or shame you or imply that you're not enough, THAT IS THEIR FAULT and you can and should feel justified in calling them out on it. You don't need to torment yourself with guilt over having opinions, or liking sex, or ANY OF IT. Humans are humans! Humans (for the most part) like sex! Sex is a normal and natural and beautiful thing! Queer sex is beautiful! Het sex is beautiful! You can enjoy both or any or all of those things while also critiquing the sexified/commodified/heteronormative/repressive culture in which we exist! Our culture has been so messed up and fucked over (literally) when it comes to sex that once again, we've looped all the way back around to "I am a More Morally Pure Person if I Personally Reject Sex and This is a Totally Progressive Viewpoint" and like. As I said above, I am strongly ace-spec. I tend to enjoy reading about sex or having sexy headcanons more than I'm interested in actually pursuing it in the real world. But that doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, and I have zero objections to them doing what makes them happy.

So enjoy E-rated fic. Enjoy E-rated songs. Enjoy sex if you like sex, in fiction, real life, or wherever. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BABY, OKAY? If you know that some of your friends don't like what you like, you don't have to share those things with them or rely solely on their approval/validation (and as I said, if you're hanging out in places or with people that only make you feel bad about who you are and what you like, it's time to re-evaluate that time and how it's spent). Go out in your community, meet older queer people, volunteer in queer spaces, do whatever you would like to make you feel more connected to the real-life community with a broader variety of perspectives. But also, you don't have to do these things to be considered queer. You don't have to Earn Your Place Via Hard Work (oh hello again, Protestant Ethic!) You just have to be you. That is enough.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#anonymous #ask #ain't nobody make the baby gays feel bad on my watch #long post