#this made me think of that post thats like i wish i could google stuff abt myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

literalite · 1 year

Text

asks

these r all the asks i got last night about the whole aesthetic discussion i'll answer in order of when i got them :p

truth b told if i started simblr like. today and knew nothing about photoshop then i'd probably be pretty demoralised too but also thats exactly how it was starting simblr anyway i just worked on it until i was happy w my skills... no one gave me a cheat code i just put time and effort into it

i agree with u im ngl like i do sincerely wish everyone had the opportunity to put hours and hours of their lives into learning how everything about this works if thats what they truly wanted. also if anything doing it solely by urself will make the process all the more time consuming but if u ask around for help people (including me! im down to help fr) will usually give it to u and that'll speed up the process more. being mad at me for having that is pointless what am i gna do go back in time and unlearn it all and for what? dsfghjk

okay i did see this being said a lot and uhhhh i was trying to understand it but like. i also don't. like ok with cluttered aesthetic build shots or yknow the odd landscape with heavy bloom shader on it i guess if ur looking at it completely from that pov yeah i guess it looks like some posts that "blow up" r just sort of the same shit. but the fact remains that its also it's good shit like anyone can clutter a room and take a photo of it what really counts here in my opinion anyhow is shot composition. and there's literally preestablished rules for this sort of thing u can google cinematography basics and get it for free... there's a whole field of study looking into what draws the human eye. like maybe the core concepts behind what makes a popular post popular is the same but thats because it just works. if u wanna shy away from that entirely but then complain about ur posts not being as popular then that's very much a u problem it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of us

amen these are my ocs wdym these are "sims" LOLLL these are the real people living in my head if i bust my ass making them look good then thats a choice i made

u can call this an empathy problem and try explain it to me more but i dont see how other people feeling insecure about what their current ability scales up to is any fault of mine or my problem to bend backwards to try fix... or even how i could. like is the standard high now yeah honestly it is. the learning curve was steep as hell when i first started as well. no disagreements here. but what am i supposed to do about it LMAO like i didn't create the human proclivity to be drawn to beauty i just ride off of it.

idk why i'm the bad guy for being honest for my reasoning behind what i do and don't reblog? lots of other people have been saying they dont really care about aesthetics which is great but if i said that i'd literally just be lying to you. i'm not gonna apologise for not lying... i like being able to see the passion and energy poured into the same video game we're all playing it's only natural to appreciate that- if that reads as passive aggression and u don't understand my stance that's fine by me

i would say for me personally try watch visual media that u can recognise as "beautiful" and not to shit on like. cw shows but i mean stuff that is marked by its cinematography being truly excellent. and just really examine how those set and lighting designers use angles and lighting and how the people filming and editing choose to frame their shots to achieve what works. hell looking at art helps with this too. look at other people's stuff on simblr analytically try to seriously work out why it appeals to people the way it does. ik u asked for editing tips but i think it really starts ingame you can have the most incredible editing style but it doesn't work if ur shot comp doesn't work then it'll won't hit as hard

take time to learn what most of the adjustment layers do on photoshop, and what all the blending layers look like, download other people's psds and play with them on top of ur shots to see what works! what u personally think looks good will be different from what i personally think looks good, i like dramatic lighting and muted colours and mid level contrast so not too strong but i can't speak for whether you will too. ALSO im a religious user of @/simmerstesia's psd set here i think a well chosen shot can be really elevated by using something like this to really give it that final polish

additionally if u have any like really specific questions or need some advice u can ask me on discord my dms are open like i can talk u thru it. promise it's not as daunting as it can look

#ask #reply #anonymous

27 notes · View notes

fortheloveofaussiegrit · 7 months

Note

as someone who spent years having their stuff ripped and reposted to f1twt, i wish someone would've told me this before i went into a months-long spiral about the issue--but honestly, the healthiest thing to do is stop going on twitter and kindly ask ppl to stop letting u know your stuff is being taken.

i know that's easier said than done and sounds wack but honestly! my mental health was literally the stonks meme after i did this!! sometimes you'll come across your shit on pinterest or google again bc of reposters and it'll Suck™, but don't let this stop you from doing things you enjoy, yknow? at the end of the day, twitter engagement (and tumblr engagement too) doesn't mean anything and is completely forgettable. the important thing is, did you have fun making your gifs? sharing insane moments to talk about with friends? did you reach the audience who matters?

the numbers game on socmed hurts a lot, i know. my friends used to talk me down for hours on end about it. but people on twitter don't give two shits about us, so don't give two shits about them; they're not even worth the second-hand smoke you breathe.

sending hugs <3 -user mwebber

hello hello! thank you for ur message<3

I know that you and a lot of others get their content stolen constantly and ahh to me that is still mind boggling that people think its okay to steal someone else’s content but yeah it is what it is

The thing that got to me this time is the privacy of it all. I know im posting on socials but here is very different to twt/tiktok. I’ve never really been one for numbers like if something does well great and obvs there’s stuff i want to do well, but for the most part a lot of my stuff does not get main tagged because it is for a small group of people and myself!

what really gets me and maybe its just me, but the possibility for interaction with real people on twt. For me that is terrifying and the thought of rl people seeing some of my content?? … like why are we putting a gif of Mark grabbing his dick on twitter where he or someone related to him could see it? I didnt main tag it and i know its inevitable that more people will see it but that really fucked with me when i saw that. it still haunts me that the video of with me breathing and making noises from goodwood made it to twt too 🤣 thats what really got to me this time and ive tried to not let it get to me but it’s scary!!! lol

but yeah ive got big girl responsibilities!! and i probably wont be gone for long but yeah:) sending hugs back:))

#inbox

8 notes · View notes

puzzlekinq · 8 months

Note

ethan i just want you to know that i can't even put into words how much i love and cherish you. like every time you make a post i'm like "new ethanpost! epic!"

your blog is literally the blog that got me into batman stuff. because i watched the fabelmans and was like "ooh i wonder what other people on this website are saying about this movie" and your blog was the first blog i found. and i was like "huh. this guy seems to have good taste. and he really likes the batman 2022. maybe i'll watch it" and then i was like "oh holy funk i'm obsessed now" so i have you to thank for that.

i just wish you were here on this couch with me. we could hug and eat snacks and my cat ollie would be there and he would meow at you and roll all over you. but i just want you to know that the world is full of people who love you. and the world is also full of little animals that love you. like these dogs i found on google

(literally every time i'm sad i google "happy animals" and it helps. and i found these dogs! look at them! they're singing a special song just for you! and that song is called Hi Ethan We Love You So Much You Are A Really Cool Guy Who We Love)

hehhehe this is so sweet and awesome :3 it makes me happy when people tell me i made an impact in their life because its liek Waow! im thought about im perceived by others in a positive way thats So epic...

i love you so so much dean you mean the world to me. im sending hugs to you and ollie through the screen. im also hugging these ouppys, its so kind of them to sing a special song for me :3 its not every day that i get a special song

sometimes i feel like i dont matter but people like you make me think Woah maybe i can be genuinely loved and cared for just the way i am. thats a really nice feeling that i dont experience often. thank you for that. hugs you and hugs you and hugs you and h

#im not goodwith words but i am Full of love for you!!!!!!

7 notes · View notes

angel-bruises · 1 year

Note

For the lolita fashion ask: 2, 3, 7, 14, 16

Since there's quite a few to answer here I'm gonna put them under a read more

2. What was your first piece?

My first ever pieces were this awful Gothic Lolita & Punk JSK and head bow, blouse with weird wristcuff things, and these Antaina(>) shoes which were pretty cute tbh. I was 14 so. thats my excuse lol..

3. What is your most recent piece?

My most recent piece was this awesome Marble faux leather skirt. I just wore it recently in an ero coord but I haven't posted the pics yet

7. What inspired you to join the fashion?

So when I was around 6-8 I got the FRUiTS book. I was already into fashion and stuff and I was obsessed with the book, J-fashion pretty much became a special interest. I used to like google lolita dresses on the google shopping tab and like open loads of links to dresses (which looking back were almost certainly milanoo) and wish I could buy them, I also found Sweet Rococo and used it like a game and just never checking out. I sort of just thought I'd never be able to wear lolita though because it was sooo expensive (I guarantee you those milanoo dresses were like £50 lmao). Tbf I didn't know much about the brands or where to buy. When I was 13 I made a friend who was also into lolita and Jfashion, and together we discovered the online Live Journal community, which we lurked. When I was 14, I spotted a sweet lolita walking down the street in my city while I was on the bus, I texted my friend immediately lol. The last thing that happened was I took a trip down to london and discovered Sai Sai and Gothic Lolita & Punk in Camden market, and begged my mum to help me buy a "full" outfit, which is the one above. Sorry for the blog post lmao

14. What is something about previous eras of lolita fashion that you'd like to come back?

The quality of well made cotton pieces in oldschool and even late 00s/early 2010s. I hear so many newbies say that taobao is equal or better quality than brand but I think that's just because the quality of the big brands has declined so much. It's such a shame. I also miss the unity of the Live Journal era. Maybe i'm viewing in rose tinted glasses because I started in the fashion just towards the end of the LJ community being active, but I miss the community having one main spot to congregate y'know?

16. What common misconception about lolita fashion bothers you the most?

Just one? I feel like they all bother me lmao. I guess any non lolitas saying that we're all elitist bitches and evil gatekeepers for having a basic criteria for what makes something lolita. Like okay it's kind of true but not in the way non-lolitas think it is. Another is that we dress like this for attention or that it's okay to photograph us without asking

#arbokzee

3 notes · View notes

jewelsunrays · 2 years

Text

Its been a while since I posted in my diary. I’ve been quite busy, and been doing quite poorly the last few days. Even though the sole intention of a diary was to write in it whenever I felt downcast for some reason I haven’t been succeeding. It just seems like a chore to write lots of paragraphs on my phone; I wish I had a keyboard.

Dad’s pension came in though, a few days back, so mum says I can get a laptop soon for school with some of the money he left. I would prefer to buy myself a Macbook, I told mum this myself, but she never listens so we’ll see how that works out. I told her about wanting to get rid of my TV yet she proceeded to buy another one with the money dad left? In my opinion it was a fucking waste. What the hell am I supposed to do now. Why does nobody in this house have a sense of priority or just generally not listen to me?

I went to see Mitski (and Harry Styles) in concert a few days after my last entry. The heat was excruciating, and everyone there had such nice outfits that I felt really insecure about the way I looked. When Mitski came on it took everything in me to not cry too loudly, but at the beginning of every song I was sobbing. Embarrassing considering I felt like I was the only person there listening to the opening act, bar these two girls I saw in the crowd that were dancing their hearts out (I loved them, I hope in another life I was friends with them). When Harry Styles came on obviously I wasn’t as interested but he was funny and a few of his songs were good so despite my complaining and typical stoic exterior I was having a good time those two days.

Concerts stress me out because I always feel obligated to be screaming and laughing and crying and just openly showing my enjoyment by being loud. Thats really not me. I don’t tend to show my emotions that way, even when I’m screaming with excitement on the inside I will be sat still and straight-faced on the outside and I’m afraid people will perceive it as me being bored or annoyed, when in reality I’m just not a very exuberant person.

Umbrella Academy season3 and Stranger Things V2 dropped. I have liked a great many shows more than I like Stranger Things, its not very high up on my list of favourites despite me being a fan. But I swear I’ve never reacted to any death the way I reacted to Eddie’s/Max’s. At movies and other shows I will have sat there shocked and sad obviously, maybe crying gently if its really heartbreaking, but I’ve never really openly bawled and screeched the way I did at that. I dunno, I think the anticipation of it, and watching it live, and seeing it at the same time as everyone else in the world and not having it spoiled made it so much sadder as opposed to everything else I watch where its already been out for years and I know whats happened. Sole exception to this is Doctor Who. But Christ almighty every time I see a clip or screenshot of Eddie laying there I feel sick to my stomach and have to scroll quickly, that’s never happened even with characters I cared more about. I assume this is how my mother feels about Eleven’s regeneration. I don’t think I could rewatch this if I tried to.

28th June was my interview as I believe I’ve mentioned a great many times. I wore my smartest clothes, fretted for ages while frantically googling what questions I’ll be asked and rehearsing my answers, only for it to be a five minute interview with one teacher, many other people in the same room being ‘interviewed’ at the same time, just to go over exam stuff. All they needed to know was if I’ve already done my GCSE’s, if I had extra time, whether I studied at another sixth form before, my exam scores, stuff like that. I think it would’ve been more complicated had I not already done my GCSE’s. Alas all that happened that mattered was the man taking a glance at my scores and saying, ‘oh you should be fine to get in to the lessons you want with those scores, just bring that to enrolment in August, you’ll receive an email’ which by the way, I haven’t yet. So yeah, I have to go back again, jesus christ.

The last few days have been completely terrible. I feel so hopelessly lonely despite having friends. I’ve realised that the people who feel comfortable coming to me with their problems will often do so without asking if I’m even emotionally stable for that. Worse, I can’t even go to them for the same thing, you know? Like I’ve realised whenever I talk to them the way they talk to me, I don’t receive the same energy back, they wouldn’t listen or try help the same way I would try to do with them - it just gets brushed aside, dismissed with a ‘damn’ or ‘same’ or some other shit like that. I dunno. It never really affected me before but now I’m just realising that I feel like I have absolutely no true friends. Everything in me wants to leave the friends I’ve got when they haven’t even done anything wrong, they’re technically nice to me, but talking to them makes me feel miserable and I don’t even know why. I dunno. I want a therapist or something.

I will try to write in here more consistently. The whole intention was to vent here as nobody else was listening but alas somehow I forgot that

0 notes

linorangge · 4 years

Text

Jaebeom as Your Boyfriend ! <3

(pls keep in mind this is a head canon !) requested by @cuzsadd :)

how you met:

- you worked at a cafe and he came by one day with jinyoung

- jinyoung noticed you glancing at jaebeom a lot and he told beom

- beom was like “,,,,,, ok ???”

- nd jinyoung was like “go talk to her”

- beom stared at you for a hot minute while u were making their drinks

- he thought u were cute

- when he went to get ur drinks you asked him where he got his ear piercings from

- he told u the place nd talked abt his ear piercing journey and stuff

- you thought he was so cool

- he smiled a lot during the convo

- you guys had a whole ass convo abt piercings

- the convo was so long the ice in jinyoung’s coffee had melted nd when jaebeom finally gave it to him, jinyoung was pissed LMAO

- “I shouldn't have told u to talk to her”

- he was joking ofc

- “I got her number tho”

- “rlly?”

- “yea look”

- u guys texted every other day and eventually u guys were like “lol what if we ,,,,,,,, got piercings together ,,,,,, jk ,,,,,,, unless”

- spoiler alert

- you did get piercings together

- u guys met up at the piercing shop

- you got an industrial ear piercing

- he got another cartilage piercing

- and then he was like “haha imagine if I got a nose piercing”

- nd u were like “do it”

- he was like “DEADASS”

- he impulsively got his nose pierced

- you held his hand for moral support

- he wasn’t afraid of the nose piercing, he just wanted an excuse to hold ur hand

- and he told u this after u guys paid nd left

- “I wasn't scared I just wanted to hold ur hand”

- u thought he was joking

- “oh ur serious”

- “yes dude, you’re seriously the prettiest girl I've ever met”

- u were screaming internally

- “ask me out then”

- “ok”

- “oK???”

- “how does Saturday sound?”

- “sounds great”

- skip to Saturday

- he took u to this lil canal nd u guys watched the stars while u floated in a lil boat

- u guys just talked

- u talked about everything and anything u could

- u learned more abt each other and the other’s personalities

- u realized he was actually a pretty introverted and serious guy

- at least for now

- afterwards u guys got dinner

- he drove u home nd showed u some material he’d been working on

- u genuinely rlly liked it nd it only made him so much cooler to u

- u guys went on a few more dates

- one day u hung out together at the mall

- he just kissed you out of nowhere and started holding ur hand

- and then he called u babe nd u were like

- “wait a damn min”

- “uhhh why the sudden pet name”

- “ur my gf”

- “u never asked me out”

- “I didn't???”

- this then prompted him to formally ask u to be his girlfriend

- u were in the middle of the food court and u were like🧍‍♀️

- u said yes ofc

- and then u continued with ur day

jaebeom as your boyfriend:

- where do I start

- he was serious at the beginning

- and the more u guys hung out together and the more he went over to ur house the more u realized how weird and random he was LMAO

- he randomly just asks u weird questions

- like actual shower thoughts come at of his mouth when ur alone with him

- “what does the inside of a colon look like?”

- “,,,,, jaebeom its literally 3am pls”

- “hold on I'm gonna google it”

- also texts u shower thoughts

- and u entertain it bc thats ur boyfriend, nd he makes u THINK

- he also just randomly texts u shit like

- “just walked past this old man wearing boxers in public, with literally no pants”

- “wtf”

- “ikr”

- ANYWAYS

- not a lot of pet names

- mostly calls u by ur name

- when he does he’ll call u babe or beautiful

- not very into pda

- he’ll hold ur hand nd give u cheek kisses and thats it basically

- he’s pretty private abt his love life, especially with u

- he’ll occasionally post u on social media with simple captions

- u don't hang with the sevens a lot but when u do, jinyoung ALWAYS makes sure he says something along the lines of “I DID THAT” “I MADE YALL DATE”

- jinyoung is pretty proud of himself

- when ur alone he loves to cuddle

- loves to kiss u

- lots of mouth kisses??

- he gives u so many forehead kisses

- he LOVESSSS when u play with his hair

- sometimes you’ll be like working on business emails or sum shit and he just lays next to you nd he's like

- “give me braids”

- nd ur like “okay ig”

- u actually ended up teaching him how to do braids nd French braids

- sometimes he spends too much time at the studio nd he doesn't have time to hang with u

- he takes u to the studio with him when this happens nd u sit there and work on ur own stuff

- u bring him food and drinks when he needs it

- sometimes u have to be like “ok bruh u have to go outside or something”

- nd u guys walk around or go to the park

- nd then u let him go back to the studio and wish him the best

- you've gotten into the habit of taking care of him bc sometimes he’s just BAD at it when he gets too deep in his work

the first time I love you was said:

- he said it first

- he was sick as FUCK

- I mean like sick sick

- mans was throwing up, diarrhea, cough, fever

- he was on the brink

- nd ofc u being the caring girlfriend u are

- u took care of him

- u were making him chicken soup

- he was in bed, full fever, face up with a rag on his head

- u brought him the soup and set it on the bedside table

- “I want to shower”

- u were VERY stuck

- “ok then”

- and u helped him undress himself and helped him shower

- u were cautious and u washed his hair for him and he washed his body

- u helped him out of the shower and u helped put new clothes on him

- and u helped him back into bed nd fed him the soup

- nd halfway through he just stared at u

- “what?”

- “I love you”

- u were stuck AS HELL

- but he was groggy and he had the softest smile on his face

- nd u could tell that even tho he was literally decaying

- he meant it

- although he was sick u still took care of him and helped him with everything

- “I love you too”

- beom was sick as hell but god he never felt happier

- nd then he threw up ur soup as u held his hair back

- but he was forever grateful

- he knew that he never wanted to leave ur side

- u were the best thing that had ever happened to him

- in conclusion

- jaebeom SOFTEST BF EVER

- lmk if yall want one of these for another member or for skz

237 notes · View notes

softlystarstruck · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Interview

tagged by: @mostlymaudlin and @amywaterwings (y’all each tagged me on a different blog and. neither was this one but this is where i post all my writing stuff so jgjfhgjdk)

name: bee 🐝

fandoms: drarry, snowbaz, lowkey i will always be here for spirk even though i don’t write it anymore

most popular multi-chapter fic: all of my current posted fics are one shots! by hits it’s strike the match (set me ablaze) and by kudos it’s knead, then let rise

actual worst part of writing: time. not in the way you probably think i mean- i LOVE taking the time to write, i love putting in my headphones and sitting down for hours and simply writing. however i wish i could fold that experience down into the very small pockets of time i ACTUALLY have to write in between school and work and general life. so the worst part of writing is i want to spend so much time doing it but they are hours i do not have 😂

best part of writing: this one is hard- i think the feeling of accomplishment that comes with finishing a fic? no matter how long it is, i always feel so proud when i send a fic off into the world because i MADE that, i put my time and my effort and my heart into it. i have a really hard time keeping my focus on creative projects, so when i go onto my ao3 and see how many things ive written i feel so proud of myself for putting my mind to something and seeing it all the way through :) in the writing process itself i think its seeing the world through a characters eyes and having to push the boundaries of my own thinking in order to do so!

do you outline: on the whole, no! but i write mainly short pieces and i write those linearly. i am working on a longer piece rn that has an outline, and i think im going to keep doing outlines for fics that i know will be long from the start

fic ideas you probably won't get to but wouldn't it be nice: oof here we go baby. i have SO many ideas but some just rattle vaguely around in my brain like marbles in a cup. for drarry- stardust au, a whole bunch of half baked eighth year ideas, draco working at a magical craft store, dad fic, a hanahaki fic. for snowbaz i wanna write a uni au where they meet at a tabletop rpg club, and an au where simon never made it to watford for some reason and baz passes out in a london tube carriage bc of how strong simons magic is. but idk if ill ever get to those because, refer to self my callout below

callouts @ me: my wip graveyard is sprawling. all-encompassing. never ending. i have wips that are longer than any published fic i have and they simply languish in my google drive. im just so bad about starting stories and then not finishing them 😂

best writing traits: [dial up sound] idk does …. tenderness count? i just think im good at writing soft moments and thats something to be proud of. i myself have spent a lot of my life very jaded so i am now big on radical softness, and i really try to put that into my fics in a way that makes sense for the characters. i also feel like im pretty good at building specific atmospheres, and telling a complex story in a short amount of words

spicy opinions: none of my opinions are spicy 😂 uhhhh i do think anyone can write about experiences that aren’t their own as long as they make sure they are informed. but thats it really

tagging: okay time to spread this like wildfire into the drarry writing community hehe crack open your writer brains and let me see your brilliance! tagging:

@tackytigerfic @americanmoths @hogwartsfirebolt @onbeinganangel @calypsotempete @the-starryknight @fw00shy @ohdrarry @lou-isfake @bubble-gumhead @moonstruckwytch @drarrymybeloved @amortentiaboys @avenueofesc @orange-peony and anyone else who wants to!

#tag games #softly rambling

13 notes · View notes

bunnyinthestars · 3 years

Text

Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

96 notes · View notes

hariosborn · 4 years

Text

james potter fic recs!!

lily evans, i see you, hear you, and i respect you... but we’re gonna forget about you for a hot minute

no please don’t say that... by @hello-everyfandom tag yourself, i’m sappy james :(( i just want to attend at least one gryffindor party in my lifetime. thinking of shifting realities :// jkjk i have no free time on my hands :(( but if i ever did, i would for sure visit the marauders and hang out w them in the common room 🥰 hashtag gryffindor pride!

match made by @slytherinquill who is y/n and why does she get all the guys 😔i would hate to have to choose between two boys who like me, but lucky for me no one likes me! as much as it squeezes my heart, i love the fake dating trope with all my heart bc of all the emotions it puts me through - and this one was so well written! love that for the writer, could not be me, i suck at writing <3

too late for love by @futurewriter2000 just the right amount of steam and heartbreak ;( fun fact: i used to only read and write on w**tpad and that was where i read my first hp fanfic after 2 years of being on the app (i had promised myself hp was off limits) and like i was looking on google to see the marauders fancasts and i saw a gif of aaron taylor johnson and i accidentally clicked on it and it took me to a oneshot on this writers page, and i was like “oh well, might as well” and i read it and i was crying and then for a month i was going on incognito tabs to try and read everything on her masterlist and then i caved and got a tumblr and here we are! so shoutout to @futurewriter2000 for being the writer to suck me into this lovely whirlpool that is harry potter fanfiction heehee

numb love by @heloisedaphnebrightmore i love non-cannon stuff because lets face it, my existence is not cannon. but this! this right here! wow! yes! it hurt, but it was worth it! i love how i could still have my own harry potter uni fantasy, but still have it line up with the cannon timeline 🥺

jealous by @writingfortoomanyfandoms short and sweet but dang! my heart did that little b***rflies thingy 😳i think best friend!remus is the best thing ever, and sirius’ little jabs at lovesick james were *muah*

nightmare by @marauder-exe more butterflies! i won’t spoil it - but when the prompt was mentioned (like james used it) i melted onto the floor. i became a puddle of puddy on the floor. i went so soft. i felt like i was in my natural soft girl state. romantic hari was activated :0

summer revelations by @pregnant-piggy YESSS!!! YAAAASSSS!!! SUMMATIIIIME!!! i live in ~la~ and its that kind of nasty hot rn (and during the summer) bc we’re having a heat wave, and i just wish with my entire being, that i could instead spend my summers in the english countryside in a cute french style house with cute boys dancing around their feelings for me. thats the dream right there. y/n has it lucky. i bet she takes that sh*t for granted 😒 jkjk love her! i am her! also i had in mind the exact dress i would be wearing, and bc of the humidity, i’m imagining my curls would be ~activated~ and so my messy bun would just be at peak cuteness <3

pushing the right buttons by @heloisedaphnebrightmore i don’t know why (actually i do) but the word “waist” and the action of “wrapping his arm around your waist” makes me feel something amazing. i’ve learned that my love language is physical touch + affection and this fic has that, and then paired with the idea of someone appreciating my waist just makes my brain go into overdrive. and then shirtless james is obviously a plus as well. 5+ points for that alone.

uncontrollable wandless magic by @heloisedaphnebrightmore ooo imagine having powers 😏eleven typa beat. (OMG WAIT THE CHARACTER FROM STRANGER THINGS, NOT THE AGE AJKABVKJ)

schemes series!masterlist by @futurewriter2000 OOOO YESSS! this series broke my heart, but like in the best way possible, so its all good. also this fic introduced me to the idea of fantasizing abt mulciber, so i am not complaining. love me some remusxreaderxjamesxreaderxsiriusxreaderxmulciuberxreaderxplatonic!regulusxreader

potter by @mellifluousmalfoy relative of ernie mcmillan??? james potter??? soulmates??? the answer to all of those questions is yes. yes i do. yes i am. yes i is.

a golden lion and the pale blue bird by @remusishotterthansirius im not saying i agree with this authors user, but i a*ree with this authors user. back to the scheduled programming - i love study buddy!remus. like period bestfriend. introduce me to my future mans. you go do that remus. you play matchmaker. go ahead, i give you full permission 😌

just go by @jamesmydeer i don’t even - i just - when - AGHHH. maybe its like a disease, but i love putting myself through pain via heartbreak stories on tumblr. it gives me a rush. pretending i’m actually in love. its nice ya know? its definitely an obsession, but i think its a healthy one!

Y’ALL I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING MY HOMEWORK BUT I PROCRASTINATED AND MADE THIS LIST! AHHHH

but its okay bc its been a looong time since i made my first post - which also, ty for the nice messages from all the writers mentioned 🥺

hope you liked these recommendations! i’m sorry if you’re a writer and get tagged in like ever single fic rec list i post, i just really like your stuff 🥺

ANYWAYS I HAVE TO GO, I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK TO DO AND SO LITTLE TIME BYEEEEE

happy reading!

#fic rec #fanfic #imagines #oneshots #writers on tumblr #writing #hp #Harry Potter #james potter #fluff #fic recommendation #recommended reading #marauders au #hp marauders #marauders era #james potter x you #james potter x reader

100 notes · View notes

bhadbun · 4 years

Text

EXPOSE posts are truly stupid but I guess at some point we become the things we swore to destroy. there's someone who has terrorized some of my closest friends, and at this point, I'm done and I'm over it. so here is the story of some 23-year-old scab named saige, from the CST timezone, who needs to grow up. i do however want to say that while this person is 1) in multiple active rps that will be tagged in this, that this is no way shape of form is an attack on those rps. we’ve all been victims of bad members joining groups and giving those groups a bad name. to those admins i say; take this in stride. do what you need to do respectively about saige and keep your heads high for your current members, and to members - do with that information as you wish and be careful. now under the cut you can find out all the stuff thats gone down (both the recent stuff and some of the stuff in the past.) Please feel free to message me or even Reblog this with your own interactions with Saige.

Saige at some point has referred to them-self as they/them so we will be doing the same. some screenshots included in this may refer to them as she/her though due to people being close with them at the time.

a list of muses that saige has played.

INDIE SMUT TWITTER RP - @BENJIZDUNN [NSFW]

INDIE TUMBLR ACCOUNT - @ofwriitings

machine gun kelly fc (key) in @saintshotelhqs

dua lipa fc (xena) in ardorhq

matt champion fc (marsden “mars”) in ardorhq

matt champion fc (marsden “mars”) in @laxhq

miley cyrus fc (bexley) in @laxhq

baldboyblues fc (blaise) in hqyale

amanda arcuri fc (zinny) in laxhq

kensnation (rhys) in laxhq

jade thirlwall fc (farai) in cyberhqs

dua lipa fc (zia) in cyberhqs

isabella peschardt fc (yakira) in cyberhqs

kurtis conner fc (zero) in cyberhqs

george shelly fc (echo) in cyberhqs

matty healy fc (cyrus) in cyberhqs

avan jogia fc (zion) in cyberhqs

big sean fc (deandre) in cyberhqs

nicholas kalashnikov fc (matias) in cyberhqs

UPDATE. there was a muse in lax, yale & now rushing who goes by rowan, previously had a matt champion fc and uses the role model tucker pillsbury. this IS NOT SAIGE. We would like to apologize to this person if they received any backlash.

For context, I was an admin in an RP called CyberHQ. There i played Cindy Kimberly, and I was friends with Saige during this time. The majority of screenshots take place between December 2018 and January 2019. CyberHQ had its faults, and I can acknowledge that. My best friend co-ran the rp with me, and I want to give her a quick little s/o for carrying Cyber when I dropped the ball. The biggest ball I dropped was allowing Saige to consistently harass and belittle my co-admin. There were multiple red flags that should have tipped me off about Saige. I dont have screenshots of ALL the times we called out their behavior but I do have this one;

After getting numerous complaints from other members about the consistent graphic NSFW images and videos that were popping up on the TL we finally decided to speak to them about it. Their response was rude, and clearly, they did not care about other members or the potential of minors seeing what they were bringing onto our TL.

fast forward to January 30th - Feb 5th the height of what can be considered as Cyber’s biggeest SCANDAL was going on. Our dear friend Saige was caught playing an estimate of TEN muses. the muse limit we had at the time THREE. and while on the surface that might seem harmless because yk these are just muses - the truth is that they did all of this by joining in under different aliases. they created different personas and spoke to other muns as other people. We have one verified testimony (that’ll you’ll be able to read later) who says that Saige and their multiple ‘friends’ were the ONLY people she rped with for a solid month. our members that were the closest with them all admitted to feeling manipulated and lied to - saying that their muses were read a certain direction so that saige could get the ships they wanted. their connections were so intricate and vast that when they were exposed and sub-sequentially kicked out, half of the rp didn’t have connections anymore, a system that designed to fail.

When they first caught wind about TWO of her secret characters we spoke to them in a imessage group chat;

* kae helped blur out certain images and names for this post, occasionally you’ll see texts within an imagine expressing her own feelings about the matter

wondering how we found out about their other characters? they sent a long message to two other members of CyberHQs confessing. Those two members sent us the screenshot and that lead to them getting kicked out.

now see that last name; matias, that a very important one we’re gonna touch on next. another one of our members (Gem) was lied to. even after saige was exposed for having all of those characters, they continuously lied to Gem and pretended they were someone else. while Gem no longer has access to the screenshots of saige pretending to be a whole other person - we were able to get our hands on saige apologizing for it.

here is another screenshot of saige lying to gem about playing Zero

here are screenshots of saige rping with themself to keep up the front:

here are dms saige sent them-self roleplaying with themselves:

i asked Gem to please write her own little testimony about what happened with saige and how it made her feel.

Gem is just one of the many people saige messed with. I have two more testimonies about saige. the next person up had what i consider to be the wildest ride with saige, and maybe the most affected during cyber. i bring you to: Kae.

The first group of screenshots is of saige manipulating kae because kae wanted to drop a character. this was in a group chat the three of us had. this conversation went down december 23rd, 2018.

this was tough and hard to sit in on, but kae did eventually end up dropping hendrix. though this wouldn’t be the last time saige tried to manipulate kae.

now between the last two tests above these dms happened:

“....ive been hardcore neglecting farai...”

“...i’ll stop messaging you places...”

we also have found out that saige has been using kae’s last name as a first name for one of their characters:

* kae helped blur out certain images and names for this post, occasionally you’ll see texts within an imagine expressing her own feelings about the matter.

now we’re gonna get into something a little more recent, saige and their character stalking @hiqey’s character in yale. first, we’re gonna explore saige’s perspective of the situation before going into hiqey’s thoughts on the matter.

upon making the decision to write this expose one of the first people i set out to speak to was hiqey, as she is one of the most recent people affected by saige. here is what she had to say:

here is the link to hiqey’s post on the subject: https://hiqey.tumblr.com/post/188666887727/so-from-your-pov-what-happened-cause-you-barely

here is saige acknowledging they were wrong for what happened in cyber and in yale but not thinking it was a big deal:

To kinda end this on a positive spin, I want to link you all to a letter Kae wrote to Saige. I really hope you all read and get a feel for the mental turmoil my friend went through because of this person, all that she suffered, and all she kept inside during all this time. kae didn’t deserve this, gem didnt deserve this. my co-admin during cyber didn’t deserve the treatment she got. HIQEY didnt deserve this. no one does. we’re hoping that with this expose post the cycle ends and saige can not continue to treat and manipulate people to this extreme. please i beg each and everyone of you - READ KAE’S LETTER.

READ KAE’S LETTER HERE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17VS8KywZFYUM8GsYTPw9M_NtIy1FGUOTxc-c2LSDq4o/edit

GOOGLE DOC WITH ALL THE SCREENSHOTS: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1VKZlTGGkWJ-PA8sBJXDrwNGRT1_XPO7n?usp=sharing

Someone made a post discussing the similiarities between Saige and Nettie, read that here: https://hotjoong.tumblr.com/post/189074475629/hewwo-rpcon-the-drama-from-tonight-regarding

#RPC #RPH #TWITTER RP #OC RP #RPT

31 notes · View notes

99centthoughts · 5 years

Note

i keep reading 'orion' as 'onion' so thats. who they are to me now

ONION……………………….. now im picturing orion as onion from steven universe and i am very stressed out by the thought

MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT!!! (a lot of asks im sorry)

1) D..DONT DIE YET ANON……….. SOON!!! I have a break coming up and i wanna do more comics stuff 😭

2) LOL omg IM SORRY !!!! I Messed up the layout a couple of times while editing it so it must have been weird 😨

1) Hiya! Honestly I think it would be best to get comfortable with more realistic proportions before you branch out into cartoon/anime style! I did it the other way round and I regret it a lot, bc I think it made my foundations really shaky and inconsistent. THAT’S NOT TO SAY u have to master the traditional art style before u start drawing any cartoons though!! I think it’s fine to do them together, just don’t neglect traditional anatomy and all that, bc it will help you a lot in the future regardless of the style you eventually choose to stick to!

2) LKMKLDS ANON STOP NOW IM GOING TO THINK OF THE STORE WHENEVER I THINK OF JC ………… he would be Mr penney???? MR..PENNEY..

thank YOU for enjoying my drawings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh thank you so much for such a sweet message oh gosh ANON YOU’RE MAKING MY HEART GROW 3 SIZES!!! Messages like this make me want to share everything with everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M HONESTLY SO HAPPY that my silly little tips and stuff can make drawing fun for you BC THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN HAVING FUN WHILE DRAWING!!! MAY YOU INSPIRE LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE and most importantly I hope you always find joy in your own art!!!! THIS MESSAGE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND YOU DO TOO ILU ANON!!! IM GONNA KEEP THIS FOREVER

1) A NERD AND A PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) omg I have thought about basically every combination o f my ocs at least once anon lKMDLskdlj they would be cute!!!!!!! and a very calm couple… I feel like emmett would be patient enough to handle fay though it would take a lot to get there bc rn emmett is low key terrified of fay LOL

1) IM NOT SURE U WOULD WANT TO MARRY THEM ¾ OF THEM ARE A MESS!!!!!!!

2) OH I googled around a bit bc tbh I have no idea what they are called too, and I think it’s called the terminator/ half tone?? it’s basically the bit of colour between the light and the core shadow (the darkest part of where the shadow starts)

THe coloured outline of shadows that alot of artists do is an exaggeration of how it looks in rl but it is pretty neat bc it makes the object look like it’s glowing haha

1) AW THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!!!! it’s so sweet that you’ve stuck around for so long and that you take the time to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE I’LL KEEP DRAWING AND MAKING ART THAT YOU ENJOY FOR YEARS TO COME!!!!

2) OH no that plant is a random plant that I made up hahhaaa

1) HELLO AGAIN AND thank you ahhh it means a lot to me that you take the time to interpret and think about my art in such a thoughtful manner😭😭😭 It’s really sweet and it makes me look at my art in a different way? I was thinking that the redrawn version seems more stiff and I wasn’t sure if I liked them more than the old ones, but after seeing this message I was like ohhh that is true I did try different things with the new versions and that is something I should appreciate and be proud of !! so thank YOU for the lovely words, it is my absolute pleasure to share my art with u!!

2) HE IS YOURS PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THIS WHIRLWIND

1) I like using poses from magazines to study anatomy!! I either follow blogs that post magazine scans or I buy them myself when i can! Another thing I’ve found rly helpful was using fitness books/ videos as references… like those for muscle-building/ weight lifters, where there are diagrams of which muscles are working for a specific exercise. YOUTUBE has a lot of fitness videos, just type xxx workout, pause the video at any random frame, and u should be able to get a nice reference to study muscles with!! If u want references for the muscles themselves, some good books I’ve found helpful are: Strength training Anatomy and Anatomy for sculptors (I can give them to you off anon if you’d like)!

2) I HOPE YOU ARE enjoying the brushes !!! NO WORRIES AT ALL I’m happy to share my brushes with anyone who might want to try using htem!! SENDS YOU ALL OF MY LOVE BACK I HOPE YOU ARE ALWAYS HAPPY AND INSPIRED ❤❤

1) omg this is so hard bc there are 213213 options and I could picture them as more than 1 type of fantasy creature tbh ……… BUT FIRST ONES THAT COME TO MIND WOULD BE : some kind faerie for fay haha, werewolf for tyler, centaur for emmett, vampire for jc, some kinda elemental spirit for cyrus, an orc for wade, and UHH some kind of wise gate guarding creature for parisi LOL

ILY TOO AND thank YOU for loving my silly boys!!!!!!!!!

2) AHHHH thank u anon I WISH YOU ALL tHE BEST AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING AS WELL ALWAYS 💞💞💞💞

1) OR PERHAPS PARISI IS JUST ENORMOUS but also yes it’s true baby tyler is a tiny baby bean

2) LSKMDLKSM HOW CAN I NOT SAY I LOVE YOU BACK TO YOU THE SWEETEST ANON OF ALL TIME 💖💖💖💖💖

1) omg anon this is a lie I am terrible at drawing anything symmetrically and if I somehow produced anything to make u think so, it’s probably because I spent 10 hours on getting it to look ok LOL I.. TRY TO USE GUIDELINES and flip my canvas to check that things are balanced… that helps me out a lot :’D

2) thank u anon for this ask it is beautiful and I will frame it and keep it in my room to encourage myself to start drawing batfam art again

1) HEY ANON and thank u! I have a list of resources that I’ve found helpful here (at the bottom of the page) !! I hope some of that might be useful for you and feel free to drop me another msg if u need more/ want something more specific!!!!!!! ALL THE BEST

2) omg I havent replied to asks in so long that I didnt even rmb what picture this was referring to and I had to go back and look LOL HE’S TRYING HIS BEST ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE CANT HELP BEING AN AVERAGE MAN SURROUNDED BY MODELS HOW RIDICULOUS OF THEM !!!!

#thank u for ur patience i will try to be better with replying ..#ILU ALL #sometimes i wish i knew who theese anons are so that i can befriend them #kelno #Anonymous

57 notes · View notes

aharris00britney · 5 years

Photo

ASKS 14

Ok so 24 hours after I planned to do this but... last time I answered stuff was January(5 months ago). There is a lot under the cut ;n; sims, nonsims, other games, all kinds of stuff ya know

Anonymous said: Hi! Wcif the shirt you used on your Belle hair post? (Btw, that hair is GORGEOUS.)

I have the cc I use in my previews linked on Patreon. Makeup/skin and all that will be on my resource page once I get around to updating it for my 2 new models (who will be up for download soon hopefully). Also ty <3

Anonymous said: What make-up do you use for most of your posts?

The only eyeshadows I use are by @crypticsim or @catplnt. The makeup I use on Macie/Taylor are listed on my resource page. The other two models makeup will be added once I get them added on there but I know they both use similar stuff to Macie/Taylor.

@thatsimmergirl91 said: Just wanted to take a moment out and say how amazing you are ! I love all your stuff and your blog. Never forget how awesome you are 💗💗💗💗🙌🏻🙌🏻

Thank you so much. Like I know I am going to be typing a lot of thank yous in this post, but I truly mean them. Playing Sims/Making cc is something I did not think would be such a big thing in my life but god is it and I love doing it. Thank you again <3

Anonymous said: You're incredible and I love all your hairs! In fact, you're my favorite cc hair creator. My question is are you planning on making any hairs with the Island Living meshes anytime soon?

Thank you! I am glad you enjoy my hairs <3 I am planning some stuff with the island living meshes. Probably just a conversion to toddlers if I am able and I might do something simple with the adult meshes to release outside of my Patreon stuff. We shall see though! Ty again

@ayoshi said: When are you opening an Onlyfans?

idk babe when are you posting your birthmarks? ;)

Anonymous said: Heya! Love your cc! You're real talented

thank you! <3 It isn’t so much talent, more or less just a lot of practice and time. I appreciate the compliment though

Anonymous said: any tips to get high quality sims screenshots??

I have 2 methods I use. When I am taking CC previews I rotate my screen using Ctrl + Alt + the ◄ key. For my lookbooks/upcoming Sim downloads I use a method by foursims who deactivated?? This is the method/video <3

@verdeclaroangels said: What skin do you use??💕PS i love u

I use @luumia newest vanilla default, alongside his Smooth Butts overlay, and my own fruitpunch overlay. All are linked over on my resource page <3

@vhlori said: Austin queen of pop!

q king of edits! <3

Anonymous said: i love your creations and i appreciate the time you put into your cc, i wish i could support you 💕

Thank you!! Sometimes the time crunches can be stressful but I put them on myself so I survive haha. Don’t feel the need to support me please <3 I make sure everything is public eventually so that people dont feel like they are missing out on anything by deciding not to pledge. Thank you for wanting to though, I appreciate that a ton.

Anonymous said: Just a rant here. I'm annoyed that there are no rings in the glove category or some other category. The reason I want this is because I use eyelashes that are in the skin detail section and rings don't work and I don't want to use the accessory eyelashes because my sim wears glasses. It annoys me but that's all.

i... rant away luv i feel u

Anonymous said: What do you do besides sims? That is all you post about and I was curious if that is all you play?

I play Roblox with @ayoshi sometimes, cause that is about all my computer can handle lmao. I have a switch so I play some Nintendo titles on there like Zelda, Splatoon 2, and other stuff. I also have been plying Fortnite recently with @imvikai @greenllamas and @pinealexple. That is about all I play right now lmao. I play Animal Crossing Pocket Camp and Pokemon Go on my phone.

Anonymous said: Hi there ! Just wanted to say I've also been experiencing that problem with your 'downloads' page. I don't have a Tumblr account so I had to tell you this way. Perhaps it's a MacBook issue ? I'm not sure, but I'm using a MacBook Pro. Anyways, thank you for all the beautiful cc you provide us with, you're the best.

Yeah I got another ask about them using a Mac for it. That seems to be the problem. I am not a coder, nor do I know a single thing about coding. All I can suggest doing is going to http://aharris00britney.tumblr.com/tagged/s4cc and using that which sucks to page through I know :( I am sorry

Anonymous said: This is really random, but I love your Sims! I normally don't like Sims with Clay hair, but GIRL, you make them work. Just want to say to keep it up, and if I had money I would support you <3

Thank you lmao <3 stan clay hairs

Anonymous said: Literally im in this sims discord nd they were DRAGGING how you make the same sim in different skin colors and how you make such cookie cutter sims and honestly i felt bad

Meanwhile me in CAS:

Anonymous said: This may be a strange request but what does that one alien toddler you've used on multiple occasions to model hair look like when he's older?

He uuh... idk where they are in my library tbh I can’t find them cause I was going to age him up and show ya but.. yeah idk what happened RIP alien toddler

@amorimlulu said: Hi! I love your creations, they're incredible! I'm completely in love with two of your sims: the asian woman from the patreon 06-16 post and the woman from the ava hair post. Could you, pretty please, upload them on the gallery? I'm dying to play with them. Thank you ^^

I am planning to in the next month! I have the photos taken I just need to get the CC list together and plan it around Island Living posts, CC posts, all that jazzzzzz

Anonymous said: Hello Austin! I really like the way your sims look, so I was wondering if you can tell me where to get the skins and lashes, please? I am new to the Sims 4 and searching for some cute looks :)

Hey! I have this stuff listed on my resource page, and I have over 100 WCIF’s I have answered along with my lookbooks for some clothes. My cc finds blog is @aharris00finds if you want to look there :D

Anonymous said: can i just ask? how do you remove the shadows on hair with S4S? im a complete noob at s4s and i was wondering how you would do it?

You just need to click shadow, then make blank :) pic below

Anonymous said: Hi, just a quick message to say THANK YOU for all those beautiful creations. You are so talented and I want you to know that. Thank you so much for making my sims look way more beautiful !

thank you so much <3 I have said it before and idk if anyone will be able to convince me, but I am not talented lmao it just is experience :)

Anonymous said: hey, could u pls make a tutorial abt how u make ur mesh?? i love ur hair meshes so much

I have tried filming a tutorial before and I will just have to wait til I get a good mic lmao. My speed meshing videos are somewhat useful for learning but they are sped up and without instructions so take it with a grain of salt

Anonymous said: would you ever try to recreate lydia martins hair in 3.04? sorry, but you're the only teen wolf fan thats a simblr that i know and i desperately need that lovely hair in my game. thanks!

tbh I never finished Teen Wolf XD I stopped at the end of season 5 I think. Idk I just lost interest as I grew up :( Also I have no idea what hair that is sdfgfvb and google isnt telling me either. If you can send a link to a picture or DM me a picture I can see if I can make it <3

Anonymous said: Hi, could you please please upload this sim post/183989453251/e41 ! She's just too pretty

Anonymous said: please upload this sim from your post/183989453251/e41 for download? Thanks

Idk if I still have her saved but if I do I might upload her. I will check and see later tonight lmao

Anonymous said: Is there any way to put everything you make into a .zip file. I really like what you make and I wish there was a way to mass download it. It sounds dumb but really I enjoy your content

Tbh since I post hairs 3 times a month it would be hard for me to keep everything up to date. I might do something like all my CC from 2017 in one zip, and all my cc from 2018 in another? and then make one for 2019 at the end of the year. I’m not sure though.

Anonymous said: Wheres the hair in yo profile pic? And will you upload that sim? AND can you make more clothes ur amazing at it!!! (Also, asking 4 my bff <3 r u boy or girl?)

the hair in my current profile pic is Maddie Hair, the sim is already for download, and I will have some clothes coming next month :) I am a boy :P

Anonymous said: hello! is the model sim in your eve hair valentines special downloadable? I find her really pretty. I really enjoy all of your cc!! I love all of them soooo much.. :)

I will check if I saved her to my library, if so I will add it to the list of stuff I wanna try and do <3 also thank you

Anonymous said: Hey! Love your hairs! Can I request a Riley hair without the hairclip?

the riley hair doesn’t have a clip so I am going to assume you mean the Peyton hair since it was released in the same month. It wouldn’t really be possible to do Peyton without the clip since it has a part of the hair going up into the clip. Without it there would be a hole and if the hole was filled in it would still look weird since the hair would be going up into nothing. I’m sorry <3

@lacr1mation23 said: Kinda not a question. But, i'm gonna fangirl all over you. You ROCK!!! I LOVE your CCs. BEST. HAIRS. EVAR. Impressed like woah from Florida.

thank you so much ;n; this made me smile lmao I appreciate stuff like this a ton

Anonymous said: Hey I think there's something wrong w/ your Lydia hair.. could u fix it?

I’m not sure what the glitch is, so if you could send me a photo or an explanation of what it is then I could help.

Anonymous said: I'm sorry you're having a bad day! I want to let you know your CC is lovely and I hope you have a better day tomorrow! Lots of love and if you like chocolate then I'm sending you plenty of virtual chocolate to help you feel better!

lmao idk what ‘bad day’ I was happening when this was sent but thank you!! I had a rough semester but I am doing a lot better now I think :)

@simsloverlilian said: Hi lol I just think this is really funny, my friend asked me where do you get your cc? and I was like: "oh.. ahoob's WCIF place xDDDDDD" and we both died laughing.. at your place you can get amazing hairs, accs, shirts! (lol love your cc keep it up! ;))

thank you so much! I love that yall use my blog for finding cc :)

@raha-plays-the-sims said: Okay... I actually want to take a screenshot of my Sim with your new Riley hair on to my hair dresser and tell her to cut my hair that way XD I love it so much! Thank you for continuing to make amazing content!

lmao i have wanted to do this before with a male hair i found for my game. I never went through with it though XD thank you for the compliment <3

Anonymous said: Everyone!!! Stan LOONA for clear skin and good health...

stan red velvet and WJSN

Anonymous said: I just want to say that "EVERYTHING" about your blog/cc/sims is absolutely immaculate. Your CC is like renaissance to Sims 4 modding(I ain't even kidding).Thank you for sharing/uploading them here on tumblr. Would you be uploading any video on how you create your sims on youtube anytime soon? And what sliders do you usually use in creating sims if there are some?

thank you so much!!! I have tried recording my game before and the footage just comes out super lag. Hopefully later this year I will be able to get a computer and I could record something then. Also I don’t use any sliders or presets on my main Sims :)

@lllac-lady786 said: This isn’t a question, but your sims are just so pretty and you are so talented 🤩

thank you <3

Anonymous said: Did something happen to your Lydia hair?

I don’t think so? It seems to be fine for me

Anonymous said: How are you able to edit the new game pack when sims4studio hasn't been updated yet? I am itching to edit some stuff but I can't yet :(

I use CAS Tools! I might make a tutorial this week depending on how busy I am. Not sure though <3

Anonymous said: How likely would you be to recommend the new pack to another simmer out of 10?

(this was sent during Strangerville) I would say 8/10 recommendation. But I love storylines and stuff in games so my opinion is very based on that.

Anonymous said: Would you ever make male hair or recolour some of ea's so they work with your ombre accessory?

I am thinking of doing some ombre accessories for the new Island Living pack for the two ombre hairs. I am not sure if I will be able to or not but I will see :)

@milugameplay said: Hello sweetheart, I just like to say that I love the hairs that you create. Thank you for sharing them with us.

thank you <3 i appreciate the compliment

Anonymous said:Hi! When you uploaded peach earrings, the blonde sim had a braided hairstyle. Was it cc or a maxis one?

hey! It is from outdoor retreat GP :)

Anonymous said: Have nothing to ask. Just want to tell you that you are amazingly talented. ❤ I have been playing the sims since its original Sims 1 release, and have always been a heavy CC user. (Upwards of 50GB in sims 3). Never have I ever felt the need to download EVERYTHING a creator has ever made, until I found you. So, in short, you are amazeballs. Keep it up.

this is so sweet lmao. Even I don’t have all my own CC in my game <3 I appreciate this so so much. Thank you for this

Anonymous said: How did you learn to create custom content??Did you see any video tutorial? I'm trying to create a hair but I can not get it :(((( help me please

most of the stuff I have learned from trial and error, or help from S4S fourms and friends :) Feel free to message me with questions on tumblr or discord

Anonymous said: I know Sims 5 is still so far away, but I still have a question! With the release of Sims 4 so many awesome creators for Sims 3 just stopped creating from one day to another. So my question is: Could you imagine yourself creating Custom Content for Sims 5? I'm asking because I seriously love every single piece you create for Sims 4, and I really wish the glory era of Ah00b won't end with the release of Sims 5. Ily! <3

it depends on the style that TS5 goes for tbh. I love Sims 4 style and I don’t know much of anything about creating alpha hairs so if TS5 goes that direction I doubt I would be able to create for it. also thank you for calling it the glory era of ah00b lmao

Anonymous said: You have hairs named after all the girls in black pink except Rosé. Is there a reason for this?

Well I named a hair Rosanne thinking it was close enough to her name lmao. I might name a hair coming in July Rosie. We shall see when it gets to July XD

#asks #oml this was a mess bc my computer froze after I answered all these the first time and I had to go back through and reanswer #so I didn't answer some stuff the second time bc I was a bit annoyed with my computer #inbox is cleared Ill start answering stuff once a month #lets hope

50 notes · View notes

no-identification-required · 4 years

Text

I wanted to say...

I had a very important realization today, and I felt the need to share it. I feel it’s something that applies to you, as well as to me. So please, think about what I have to say as thoroughly as you can, learn what you will from it, and derive your own opinion about it. I will not comment on this, beyond the initial post, and as such will not argue with or attempt to refute any comments made here, and I ask that the same respect be given to any who do choose to share their views as well. I want everyone to feel free and comfortable to share their own views and associated experiences.

All that being said, id like to start by saying this is an issue I’ve been struggling with for a long time. Nearly a decade.

You see, I had a grandfather who I loved to death, he was awesome and super funny, and he was my favorite. We were really close. He was a war vet, and he taught me a lot about things like courage and honor. If he ever saw a man or woman in uniform he would go out of his way to do something kind for them, thank them for their service, pay for their meal, etc. He was a good man.

He was not without his flaws though. He was a bit perverted, and nearly all his choice films and shows had sex and nudity. So, even though he was pretty good about not indulging when I was around. When I was 11, I started to notice what movies and things he had around the house, and I got curious. So I got on google on his computer in the basement.

That’s how it started. An addiction that I have been struggling to overcome for the last decade of my life. I know some would argue that porn and masturbation aren’t bad things necessarily. They even would argue that such behavior is normal and healthy. So I’d like to explain why it’s a bad thing, in my experience.

You see, it’s not just that it’s offensive to women or contrary to the will of God or whatever you’re used to hearing, even though those things may be true. The reality of the matter, in my experience, is that it is destroying me.

What started as simple curiosity became an obsession. I kept going back, looking for more, and back then, being 11, I wasn't very sneaky, I didn't know how to delete search history etc. So I got caught fairly easily and quickly. As a consequence, my behavior stopped for a time.

Fast forward a couple years, and curiosity gets the better of me again, only this time, I'm smarter about it. Sneakier. I had heard about kids at school who knew how to delete browser histories, so I figured it out for myself. Once I knew how to get away with it, it was too much of a temptation to see if I actually could. To test it out.

It did work. For years no one knew what I was doing. I knew it was bad, based off of my parents reaction when they found out the first time, but I didn't realize it was a destructive and addictive behavior. I started to struggle more at school, as I was dedicating less and less time to school work and more and more time to self gratifying behaviors. That's the thing, it such a powerful stimulus that it trains the brain to seek out any forum of gratification it can find, and that drive begins to take priority. Over school, over friends, over family.

I was becoming a worse person, and around the age of 15- 16 I realized that. I decided I wanted to stop. I realized my behavior was disgusting. That what I was doing was not something I wanted to be doing anymore, and who I was be coming was not in line with my goals. So that was the decision I made. No more porn, no more masturbation. I was gonna quit cold turkey.

But my resolve lasted a couple of days, maybe, and I feel back into the same habits and behavior. I struggled to overcome for weeks, which would turn into months, with little victories measured in streaks of a few days at most.

That's when I got scared. I realized it was something I couldn't beat on my own, but there was so much shame and guilt in that. So much shame in what I was doing, so much shame in the inability to stop. I was ashamed of my weakness. Other boys could control themselves, why couldn't I? I couldn't imagine what my mom would think, or how she would react if she found out. Or any of my fríliends and family for that matter. I felt so hopeless and helpless. That despair... It was dark. My self-confidence took a massive hit. I stopped looking at myself as a normal fun loving guy, and started seeing a failure, a weakling, a pathetic and disgusting excuse for a person.

Finally, I broke. I needed to talk, I needed help. So I told my mom, and bless her soul she was there for me. She didn't disown me or think any less of me, she was ready and willing to help, and after many tears I knew I would never, ever, do it again. I asked her to change the passwords on the computer, and to take away my phone. Until I felt I could be trusted again..

And it worked...

For a whole 3 and a half weeks.

Turns out, after years of exposure to explicit videos and images, you don't need access to any materials. They're imprinted on your mind, and you can't get rid of them.

You can't escape them.

And, in my case, they were far more powerful than I was.

That's another thing. No one ever warns you how addictive this stuff is. I remember as a child in elementary school they had this program where they taught us about drugs and alcohol and how bad they were and how the best thing to do was to never take or try those things In the first place because it was destructive and could kill us. I made a promise in my little, innocent heart that I would never touch those things, because I knew I would become addicted and it would hurt me and those I love. To date I have been faithful to that promise made by that little guy.

But no one said anything about porn. I didn't even know what that was, let alone that it is so addictive, yet accessible. More acceptable to some, then drugs and alcohol, because, at least you can't O.D. On porn right? It can't kill you, right? So by that logic, it's harmless, and it's ok.

What no one ever says though, what no one ever mentions is the self loathing that comes with it. That crippling self hate and doubt, that leads to anxiety and depression. No one mentions how it feels when you realize one day you'll have to look in your wives' eyes and tell her. No one ever tells you to think about what that pain I her eyes will look like, or how that will affect your relationship. No one ever taught me that it may not stop my heart, but it would kill who I was and who I wanted to be.

I used to be outgoing and charismatic. A natural leader of sorts. Now, I struggle to forum friendships, and when I walk into a room I hide in a corner, trying not to be noticed. Now when I'm walking down the street and I see a cute girl, instead of smiling and waving I look away in shame, feeling like a pervert and a creep for just thinking she looks nice. I fear she'll see me for what I am.

Heck, I can't even trust myself on a date. I haven't had my first kiss because I'm afraid that if I let myself do anything actually physical that I won't be able to stop myself. If I can't stop myself with a phone how could I stop myself with a real person?

Yeah, no one tells you that. At least, not til it's far far too late.

When I was 17 I was back I to the full swing of things, my mom had given me the password to the computer again, and a brand new smartphone, and I was worse than I had ever been. Thats when I read an article about how porn kills love. Apparently, with all the dopamine and hormones and chemicals involved, it creates more receptors for such things, creating an insatiable appetite. One that is unsatisfied by the real deal. So, a person who uses porn is chemically unable to experience real sex and love the same way a non porn user does. It's because we become accustomed to similar sensations, and so we seek harder and harder stuff to continue getting the same essential "high."

When I read that, a little part of me died. I could no longer even love my future wife and family as I ought to be able to do. As they deserve. Because I'm too weak. Too undisciplined. Too irresponsible. Too...

The list goes on, and the hate goes deeper.

I lost all hope.

I lost all semblance of hope of becoming the kind of person I had always dreamed to be.

When I was 18 going on 19, things changed. I gripped more firmly to my religion, and dedicated myself to studying and teaching for a couple of years, and the process wasn't immediate, but after the 1st year or so, I finally did it. I got clean. I was free!

I felt more happy than I had in a long time, more confident. I felt strong. I felt like a real man. I started stepping up again and doing more leader-like things. I was disciplined, smart, and capable. I had a real hope for my future again for the first time in nearly half my short life span.

It was glorious.

And it ended, hard, and suddenly.

When I finally came back to the real world, in preparation for college and things, all that self control and strength and confidence crumbled apart like a dry cake within a couple of weeks.

Because I started using again.

For the life of me I couldn't understand it. How could I be so weak? So stupid? So utterly incapable? God had given me freedom, had forgiven me, had given me strength, and I threw it away like it was trash.

How can my actions, to date, be so contrary to my ideals? To my wishes and desires?

I pray and beg for freedom. To be changed. To be better. To be who God wants me to be. Surely he has all power, and he wants me to stop as much as I do, if not more so, so why doesn't he intervene and do something? Anything?

I feel like I've done all I can do in my power, so isn't this the point he's supposed to step in and save the day???

My prayers, my questions, went unanswered.

Until today.

I went to my first day of college religious institute. I missed the actual first day. I was struggling to find the class and as the time for the class approached, and I still wasn't finding it, I got really, really, scared. Some form of anxiety, but I was worried about where I would sit. If I came in late all the seats would be taken and I couldn't sit somewhere where I wouldn't be noticed. Instead, if I went in late, everyone would look at me, and I'd be forced to sit next to people I don't know. So I chickened out 5 minutes before the class, figured I'd be far too late once I actually found it, and left.

I felt defeated, cowardly, weak, and angry at myself. Not that any of that is new.

But then today I tried again, I figured through process of elimination where the room more or less ought to be, and I got in early and got a good seat in the back corner.

When the teacher started class he started talking about God as the great Creator and designer of all things, stuff very familiar to me. He talked about God's attention to detail and his love of variety etc. Then he flipped it on us, talked about how God created us and how we are each masterpieces in progress. But then he said something, something that caused the entire world for me to pause. Something that clicked. Something that filled me with a little spark of hope.

What he said is the following quote from a former religious world leader, Thomas S. Monson

"God left us the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged and the forests unfelled and the cities unbuilt. God gives to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of unfinished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that man might know the joys and glories of creation."

And something whispered to me. God sometimes leaves me unfinished, especially in this case. Sure, he could finish this work, but what would that do? Make a righteous little minion? No, he has a better plan than that. He wants me to feel the joy of this victory, of figuring out how to use the tools he's provided to shape myself. He'll help me and guide me, I'm sure, but he's also excited and anxious to see how and what I'll do to win this fight of mine.

He hasn't abandoned me, he doesn't hate me for what I have become or what I have done.

Rather, he has trusted me with a job. A challenge. A problem to be solved. So once I'm done, I'll be someone who was strong enough to actually win this fight. Smart enough to solve the problem. Brave enough to do what it takes.

So, I'm still unfinished. I've still got a problem. But there's a little spark of hope, heck, even a little excitement as I think, how will I do it? Maybe it will take therapy, maybe I'll meet someone who will teach me a thing or two, who knows? God does apparently, and that's comforting, because yes, I've got a monster of a problem, but I've got God's assistance and trust to make something of myself.

I felt compelled to share this. I feel someone might need to hear this. I'm still in the thick of things, but I've found a hope. So maybe there's someone out there who's in the same situation, looking for that same hope.

I pray this finds them because maybe, just maybe, this might be the whole purpose behind all of this.

Thank you for reading, I know it was long, but I do feel it is important. All of the views here are of course, from my own limited experience, and many may disagree with a number of things I have said. That is ok. This is simply my story, which is not yet over. I certainly have much left to learn.

But I do hope that something in what I have written will be of benefit to you, as a lesson, or a warning, or at least an example of some kind.

God bless you my friends.

#deepthought #important #foreveryone #psa

2 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 5 years

Text

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

#lets go bunni #bunni plays lets go

7 notes · View notes

thatspencerinthesky · 5 years

Text

longish post you can ignore if ya want i dont know how to do read mores im so sorry

everything im googling just isnt making sense to my sleep deprived brain im sorry im such a grandpa this is a very odd post but im running on no sleep and realized something i have mutuals on here, who i never talk to, some of which ive been mutuals with for YEARS i just had the idea of going back through my follower list and finding the oldest mutuals who i can recognize off the top of my head that have actually reblogged stuff from me lately

(drinking game: take a shot every time i say “smile” 2 shots every time im an awkward fuck and finish your drink every time i cant remember things. Good Luck to your liver) so uh

@sckrim i honestly do not remember how we met but i do know that every couple of months you send me a cute happy message (one of those “list the things you love abt urself!!!”) and every time i get it, it honestly makes my day. i can not for the life of me remember if we have ever had a formal official conversation, but i do know that you blow up my notifications occasionally and it makes me smile so much. I enjoy your content, and you managed to become a reason i smile whenever i check the app/log in. there have been some times where i was going through a lot, and found one of those asks. it really does help. I keep a couple in my inbox just to make me smile @your-lusus it says that you are one of my first few mutuals ever, and im near sure ive never talked to you. i do love your blog though. I was a pretty big fan at one point (that point was before i followed a fuck ton of people and could actually keep up with people on my dash). i think i remember feeling shocked when i realized you followed me. You honestly seem pretty cool from what i remember and if ya wanna talk we can if not thats cool im sorry im so awkward its the sleep deprivation i think. maybe.

@karkat-doodle-doo im pretty sure i havent seen you around lately (i just checked and yeah i have reblogged stuff from you literally today i think im just a moron) but i do remember adoring your blog when homestuck was my only hyperfixation. You were one of the first few blogs i followed and you still bring me joy like 4-5 years later. i think ive followed you for that long?? i wish i could check how long its been. anyways youre cool and if you need anything lmk and i gotcha. if you wanna be friends im here if not ignore this im sorry for taking time out of your day with this stupidity.

okay so @two-pistols-and-a-blink for ONCE i actually remember something. we used to rp. way fuckin back when. def at least 4 years ago. im pretty sure at least. ive had skype calls with you, it was rad. i legit havent talked to you in years but if you needed anything id do whatever i could my man. if youd like to reconnect id honestly love that, if not thats chill too. if you do message me it will mostly be pictures of my cat and memes probably. @signore-whorechata YOU!!!!! i dont remember how we met and thats honestly irrelevant bc ive made it very clear in this post im a dumbass. anyways!!!! i was stupid and fell out of contact with you oh my god, you were such a cool friend!!! hit me up for cat pics and shitty memes my dude. i still have that url as a side blog that i just fill w junk. there a couple of people who i could also reach out to but my chronic pain is getting bad and i need to wrap this shitty post up

so in conclusion im a dumbass and if you wanna be friends go ahead

#long post #link.jpg

1 note · View note