#this is what happens when you only use python for a year! what the fuck is a ‘memory allocation’ I have amnesia
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ough the horrors ough (basic programming concepts I have forgotten)
#c++ how and when to pass a pointer by reference xoxox => the realization that I don’t know how to do this bc/#I would just use a class with a private variable 99% of the time in this specific use case#sorry we are back in esoteric complaint season 😔 I feel bad sending real ppl this shit bc/ we are all trying not to think abt jobs#so onto tumblr it goes…!#anyways the mans who invented pointers to pointers were off their rockers. who made this legal#bytebun rambles#this is what happens when you only use python for a year! what the fuck is a ‘memory allocation’ I have amnesia#to delete#I also don’t know anything abt inheritance or polymorphism tbh because I am always just copying senior dev code ❤️👼#like I get it in theory if u ask me about the syntax I will smile and nod and go to google.com
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I do like the headcanon that it was Shen Yuan's teaching and tips that inadvertently helped Luo Binghe get through the Endless Abyss faster. Accidentally fucking himself over in a way because he cares for Luo Binghe too much is just sooooo him.
I do think there are other elements that may have helped Luo Binghe through the Endless Abyss faster. When I was making that post on a way that the heavenly demon seals might work, based on the implications in the quotes I was taking down, I formed the headcanon that the Black Moon Rhinoceros-Python in PIDW may have only partially broken the seal on Luo Binghe's demon side, potentially denying him full access to his powers and causing him pain and damage, until he could reach the Xin Mo sword and use its dimension-slicing powers to remove the last remnants of the seal. Whereas in SVSSS, Mobei-Jun, with his own special Endless-Abyss-summoning abilities, apparently ripped the seals off of Luo Binghe immediately and potentially more cleanly.
(Arguably, a sudden removal could be an even worse shock, causing a clash between spiritual systems, and causing even more pain and damage until the Xin Mo sword could be used to soothe the effects. You can come up with fun consequences either way, PIDW or SVSSS, to get the angsty headcanons that you want to explore!)
Anyway, I was thinking about the idea that... maybe SVSSS Luo Binghe making it through the Endless Abyss faster doesn't necessarily mean he's more powerful...?
Like, if we're imagining that Shen Yuan's teachings allowed SVSSS Luo Binghe to perform something like a speedrun to the Xin Mo sword (which is extremely funny to contemplate), then through sheer experience (a couple more years to cultivate/develop in the hellscape grinding level), it's not unreasonable to imagine that PIDW Luo Binghe exiting the Endless Abyss may have been significantly more powerful or at least significantly more dangerous than SVSSS Luo Binghe exiting the Endless Abyss.
(Although, even if both Binghes were the same power level, based on personality differences and goals, then Mobei-Jun's first encounter with SVSSS Binghe would be extremely different to his first encounter with PIDW Binghe regardless.)
I am currently enjoying the idea of SVSSS Luo Binghe almost immediately encountering Mobei-Jun upon exiting the Endless Abyss, having a rematch of their battle at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and then Luo Binghe losing that fight.
OP power levels are so arbitrary. I don't think it's unreasonable that even pre-ascension Mobei-Jun could (after getting pretty beat up himself, maybe) kick a young, undeveloped heavenly demon's ass. Just because Binghe has the Xin Mo sword doesn't necessarily mean that he knows how to use it. Mobei-Jun is at least 20 years older than Binghe, with potentially a great deal more training and battle experience in the Demon Realm, and depending on how you imagine his abyss and ice powers, he's potentially capable of some extremely dangerous and dirty tricks to preserve his own life.
So, like, let's say that Mobei-Jun manages to pull ahead in this fight, disarms Luo Binghe, and then throws the Xin Mo sword through a portal back into the Endless Abyss because he has no interest in keeping such a cursed thing for himself. He could just kill the seething half-demon on the ground in front of him with three broken limbs, before the heavenly demon heals up and tries to kill him again, but Shang Qinghua (who has been here THE WHOLE TIME) (who has been having a VERY BAD TIME trying desperately to stay out of the line of fire) (who didn't want to be in the Demon Realm in the first place when he's still trying to keep his cover, but he needed something for the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom and Mobei-Jun to help him get it) Shang Qinghua says that Mobei-Jun can't just kill this boy for some reason. Holy shit, do not kill him! DO NOT! (It might break the fucking world, shit, what the fuck, what is happening...!)
And listening to Shang Qinghua has saved Mobei-Jun's skin on a number of occasions, so that's it! Apparently, he can't just kill this boy. Admittedly, he is mildly impressed by the boy's tenacity, but, like, the boy is obviously suffering poor effects from the sword's curse, may or may not be possessed by the Elder Dream Demon, and desperately wants to kill him. He's a fixer-upper, for sure.
So, like... now what?
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Sorry if this is a weird question, but... if you could just take all the snakes that currently belong to someone like the Jay's Prehistoric Pets guy who goads them into striking a lot (which I assume means he's scaring them?), would you expect to see lingering fears or behavioral issues? I'm thinking of how you have to be mindful with, e.g., dogs that come from abusive situations and wondering if snakes can have issues like that.
Great question. Yes, if a snake is routinely scared, malnourished, or even abused, that can cause lingering issues.
A great example of this is my rescue snake Fucking Fred. He's a sweet little ball python who is also one of the snappiest snakes I've ever met. Before I got him, Fred was in a home with a child too young to be handling snakes, and he learned that biting was a quick way to get out of uncomfortable and scary handling. He's gotten better over the years but he's still very prone to biting.
Snakes who were malnourished at one point are often absolute garbage disposals, and might be tricky to handle because they'll try to eat anything. Snakes who were handled roughly or even hit are often a bit snappy and fearful of people - sometimes this gets better with time, sometimes it doesn't. My old blood python Frankie was hit in his first home and was very defensive when I got him, but with time he became one of the gentlest, sweetest snakes in the world; I've also met snakes from abusive past homes who were so bitey they could only be handled with hooks. Plenty of snakes will have triggers related to rough things that happened to them - I used to have a cornsnake who was badly bitten by a rat in her previous home and until the day she died she was terrified of rats, would only eat mice.
This question brings up a great point - when adopting a rescue snake, it's always smart to learn about what their life has been like, and accommodate for any issues they may still have. Rescues will usually be good about letting you know if a snake you're looking at has any behavioral quirks.
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I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIM 🙏💙
LETS FUCKING GO. OKAY OKAY SO WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT AND THE ACCUMULATION OF A BUNCH OF MADNESS OF ALMOST TWO YEARS (JUN 10TH BEING THE EXACT TWO YEAR MARK) OF HAVING HIM, STARTING FROM A ROLEPLAY MISCOMMUNICATION THAT I ROLLED WITH. MY FAVORITE BOY WAS AN ACCIDENT !!!
RIGHT RIGHT OKAY SO!!
Wren Sonnet is NOT initially a rottmnt oc, hopefully obvious seeing as I only got into that VERY recently whrje
Wren was made from a heroes and villains oc city rp!! Wren himself is a low ranked villain, but we'll get to that hehehehe
Oh man, okay Im gonna be doing this minimal edits style to get across the absolute madness I feel over him so I do need to warn that theress kinda child experimentation and child neglect stuff that Iii think ill put under a cut just in case?? I have a somewhat hard time telling what needs a tw sometimes so lemme know if I miss anything ^^
Basically, at age 6, Wren's mother sells him to a hero named Euphoria. Hero as in the cities legal term, not storywise, evidently!!
Euphoria was a man blinded and orphaned in an incident from a group of magicfolk, and uhh he's. yah he's SUPER anti magic. AND A HYPOCRITE BECAUSE HIS ASS IS USING A MAGIC AMULET TO HAVE SIGHT AND WINGS!! HE SUCKS!!!!
But yeah back to Wren uhh his power starts off as simple tech manipulation, basically altering code! He's need to actually understand code to use this effectively though
Through the course of a few years, Wren is experimented on, and his power breaks. His SOUL breaks- see, Relsian(Relsia is the city) magic is based on your soul, and if damage comes to your soul? Your magic is damaged. Euphoria experimented on Wren to alter his power to be more 'useful' to him, intending to turn him into a sidekick.
At age 9, Wren escapes. But not unscathed.
See, Euphoria's hired scientist, a woman named Lydia, used memory magic as he left, trying to prevent him sharing what happened to him. But in her rush, it messed up his memory! His memories tend to be a bit blurry, having gaps in them- he makes it work, but it can be hard. Anything in his time in the lab or prior is completely locked away, and he has trouble recalling the few years following that-
When he escaped, he was found by his siblings! Rowan and Raven- twins. They were 13 when they found him. And 13 when they had to start raising their own brother :( Their mom left and their dad never met them so cowabummer amiright
(starting to be rushed 😔 )
Wrens powers have shifted into this messed up form of teleportation, in a way. Basically, his soul magic has been altered to 'Glitch' him from place to place, basically taking him apart and putting him back together somewhere else- It can be developed further, but its rare he ever manages that, and those are usually Bad Timelines
The twins work and saved and eventually manage to start renting a bookstore / apartment! They live above the store.
And eventually, Wren decides he wants to help. Rather than trying to find an number of the somewhat illegal workplaces that would let a 13 year old kid work there, he takes up ✨crime✨ !
So our boy Wren goes about stealing stuff to pawn, and he's getting dumb about it. He catches the attention of a miss Scarlet Munroe, the leader of Karma Corp, a criminal organization. They steal and sell things, splitting the money two ways: donating to charities and paying the workers.
Scarlet knows she cant keep this kid from doing this, but she knows she can help him do it in a way that is going to be safer for him. So she does.
He becomes Python, a low tier villain. All he really does is steal- and yet he catches the attention of a bigtime hero? He doesn't know what he did to get on Euphoria's list of enemies, but he knows he doesn't trust that guy.
Wren gets merch of himself to not blow his cover on knowing so much about Python, actibg like a fanboy because he thinks the guys just kinda neat, no other reason-
FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION!! He's on a baseball team!!
Phil Bloomfield - Coach (Wings) [He/Him]
Mercury 'Merc' Bloomfield (Healing) [He/She]
Cherry [She/They]
Paloma 'Plum' [He/They/It]
Jellybean 'JB' (Food Creation) [They/Them]
Kestrel 'Kel' (Theyre a Dragon magicfolk) [They/Them]
Sage [She/Her]
(Sage and Kel are dating btw :3)
OH YEAH WRENS WEAPON OF CHOICE IS A STAFF AND IT WAS GENUINELY INSPIRED BY DONNIE AT FIRST AND NOW IM ACTUALLY GETTING INTO TMNT IT FEELS SO FUNNY???
Also he uses it because he finds it a better weapon to avoid hurting others TOO much. He only ever wants to immobilize or injure, never risk killing, and uhhh swords (no matter how cool they are) tend to be a little too murdery for him
and JB and their brother Jam are the technical owners of a pizzaplace called J&Js and it is the BEST in Wren's opinion. (JB makes up food challenges like how fast can you eat a super spicy pizza kinda thing, but its mostly to trick Wren into accepting free food by earning it somehow- my boy is poor but stubborn)
uhhh my brain is dry!! Ask questions and Ill add on more info :D
#wren sonnet#my son <3#also I love you eternally for asking#man stuff gets complicated when we look at Relsia's pantheon of gods
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Python's 2023 in review
Enjoy me rambling and oversharing in typical long-winded fashion
I am so glad I stumbled into public librarianship. When I graduated I was still so sure I was going to work in an academic library, and it took fate intervening for me to realize that still probably wasn’t right for me. I love the public library combination of working with popular collections (the books actually circulate!?) and helping people with practical problems. It makes me feel useful, and like I’m part of the wider world
Unfortunately I am beset by imposter syndrome. I only graduated three months before I started the position, and I feel underqualified for what I know was a very competitive search. I am definitely the youngest person on my team, and I am so scared of disappointing people. It will be fine
Also unfortunately my commute is still way too long, but my god, I’m in control of it. All I have to do is get on the bus and stay on the bus til my stop. There’s no mucking around with a local shuttle service that can have a wait time of over an hour and has to be precisely timed while you also try to make a train connection…I just get on one bus. Wow. When the weather’s nicer and it’s lighter out, I’m going to try walking home to see if it’s faster
I dated one of my friends for nine months, and that was fun and weird. I really enjoyed just getting to express those feelings for once, but I didn’t like how much space he took up in my life. I’d set aside a night for myself and then he’d say “hey, want to call?” and I’d go “😍YES let me drop everything to hear your voice!”, which was very annoying. I desperately wanted more time to myself, but I was so infatuated I wanted to spend time with him more. I think I’d like to avoid that in the future.
I definitely did not experience Dating and Romance the way most people do, but it’s hard to tell if that’s because I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum, or because that’s just how I am as a person. I do feel like a lot of stuff was unintuitive to me, sort of like I was a robotic anthropology student experimenting with intimacy in order to gain a better understanding of the humans it’s been studying, but I also feel like that about many of types of human interaction, and “being attracted to him” was not where the disconnect was. Over the course of the relationship I kept up a strategy document outlining my goals and took 27 pages of notes, and that’s probably the most relevant fact about how my sexuality functions
I have started eating my burgers with all the toppings! This seems small and meaningless from the outside, but I used to eat every component of my food separately, because I Had To, and it feels really nice to just do things instead of holding myself apart so I can carefully avoid Bad Things which Are Not Right. It feels like relaxing into life like a warm bubble bath.
27 feels distinctly different from 26. Feels a lot like My Late 20s, which feels like Almost 30, which feels like an entirely different stage of life. My knee clicks louder and louder when I go up stairs, and my knee and elbow hurt when the weather changes. I hear my spine making noises a lot.
AAAGHHHH! I am trying to get top surgery this year and I don’t want to talk about it! But also that’s dumb because I want my friends to know about it! Also, reading other people’s reflections about top surgery has been so, so fucking helpful to me over the years, and it would be nice to add to that informal pool of knowledge by periodically sharing stuff. Unfortunately I am deathly allergic to talking about myself on the internet, so I don’t know if I can do it. But it’s a thing that’s happening! I am going to get a referral letter from my therapist, and then I can schedule consultations!
I have no idea what I’m doing with gender. At some point I seem to have stopped identifying as nonbinary, and while I like being called a man but I don’t think I am a man, except for the part where sometimes I wonder if I’m a trans man who just doesn’t want to go on T, except for the part where I feel like a [redacted] who wants to disguise themself as a man. Look, I just live here.
I have reached a point where she/her pronouns make me uncomfortable, instead of just feeling factually incorrect
I’ve realized that I have as much facial hair as my ex did when he was 3 months on T. I was wildly, desperately jealous of that facial hair at the time. That’s super weird.
I realized I’m thinking of this holiday as a trip to visit my parents, and I can’t wait to get home afterwards. But where is home? All my family still lives in the South, and there is stuff I miss here. All the little things, like the sound of Southern accents all around me and the way all the stores have ceiling fans turned on in the middle of December, and also the stars, and the horizon, and magnolia trees everywhere. But my life is in The City, and I feel at home when I cross the bridge at night and see all the lights against the water. Home is my shitty little apartment with my 12x6 room and sloping floors and my linden tree outside the window.
In general, it’s been a great year for Large Life Things: I graduated with my masters! And I started a great full time job! And I asked out the guy I’d had a crush on for almost four years! And it ended, but not in disaster, and we’re still friends! And I have kicked the ball that will eventually start knocking over dominoes on the way to having top surgery! Exciting cool stuff!
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You know what ? Fine, I’ll stop the Kaede craze for now… for NOW.
Maki, upon doing a usual working routine with kaito (Shuichi isn’t here Kaede.. "convinced" him to do another type of "workout" with her) realized what FINALLY gets that astronaut give her some kind of attention.. shaking that toned but huge butt… caught up by her feelings of love and lust for the hero, she gives him a bit of a show, of course pretending she’s not, probably with a few curses… but kaito’s bulge grows and grows, revealing how MASSIVE that python is… and maki will soon learn she’s an absolutely anal whore.
Disclaimer: Below is content that's more on the racy side! If not for you, you probably shouldn't read!
It...can't be that easy, right?
Maki just happened to glanced at a mirror that was nearby. Just for a second. That was when she happened to get a glance of it. Of Kaito, staring at her bottom. She had opted to finally get a change of sports gear and so showed up in a red sports bra and black jogging pants. Pants that just hugged her tone, huge, ass gotten over the years from her life of being an active assassin. She had always been a bit embarrassed by it since it stuck out so much. Always wobbling and jiggling from even the slightest movement...but if she could use that to 'woo' Kaito...
Squatting to really stick it out, Stretching her ass way into the air as she stood with her legs spread apart. Jumping jacks that had her fat ass clapping so noisily. Clamoring for her hero!~ She spent the next few minutes of their work out doing just that. 'I wonder if this is working?' She thought and took a look bac-!!!
Holy fucking shit. Straining in his pants was the biggest cock she'd ever seen in her life!! It stood straight at attention and even from his pants, Maki could see how girthy it was....and wondered how much it would take for that out be inside her?~
"A-aaaah!! Sorry, Maki Roll! This is...yeah! This is just a carrot I stored there really!!" Kaito said, turning away from the assassin as he realized just how much his dick was on display. Rolling her eyes, Maki grabbed her pants...and pulled them down. Showing off her splending, shaking, booty to Kaito in its full splendor.
"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" Kaito exclaimed looking caught completely off-guard, only for an annoyed Maki's voice to ripple through the air.
"Listen, you moron...we both know what we want. J-just...stick it in already!"
"Well..."
"Do you wanna die?"
"Sticking in!~"
--
PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!PLAP!!!
A rush...this was a rush!~ Right then and there, Maki was gasping!~ Moaning as Kaito took her anal virginity, thrusting deep within her massive ass. Gripping onto to it as if it was a squishy lifeline.
"D-d-d-don't stoooooop!~ Don't stoooop!~ I-I'll kiiiiill you if you stooop nooow!~"
"I-I won't Makiii!! C-count on the Luminaaary of the Stars!!!"
And so he didn't!~ Not for a long while anyway. Not until when he busted his load, Maki's hole was filled to the brim with hot, gooey, stick cum. Not until both were crying for each other's name!~ Both knowing they were going to have to book another, private, training session sometime later this week!~
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MONTGOMERY WARDEYN.
When Monty showed up for her Valentine’s Day visit for her brother she entered with a big over zealous and over dramatic hug for him. She set a ginormous basket of decandant candies and chocolates from all over the world down first. Then she smothered him.
“Happy Valentine’s Day brother of mine. Your Valentine has arrived. Aren’t you happy now? Cherish it now before you get stuck with mother all night. She’s already in the bathtub gin. Good luck with that.”
“I know I’m the best thing that ever happened to you and the highlight of your day. I’m the blessing of your life. You don’t even have to say it. I know you’ll never have a real girl out there for a Valentine but I got all prettied up, just for our dance. Don’t carry on how I’m better than another girl because I’ll never leave you like you always do, but it is true. I never will. Never, ever, EVER. Okay, I have a date after dropping you off with mom, but it’s for you too. She’s making me play shadow caddy. Ew. But, I love, uv you, wuv you.”
Then she’d back up and do a little spin for him so he could see her dress all in pale pink lace. It was something designer though the real Bayden rarely called these things out, just told her she looked so pretty.
“Now where is it? Before we dance. Show me what little drawing or confection you’ve whipped up for me this year. Is it a poem? A song? Gimme, gimme.” Then she plopped herself right into his lap like an ever so close space invading sister might. “What quaint little BayBay way have you chosen to honor me this year?”
( @montywonmom )
MONTGOMERY W a r d e y n buzzed around like she’d guzzled every drop of espresso. Her actions were downright condescending like a Katy Perry parody video. && they finally understood where Bayden’s arrogance stems from: that.
Dozen’s of times they had rehearsed Monty’s return in there head — the dramatic embrace, the exacting chosen gifts pattern last’s Christmas greetings. They’re own breath felt tight, as if the walls were pressing in being constricted by something as dangerous as a python hugging them back weakly.
“ Happy Valentine’s Day, little sister. ” A spin off of Montgomery’s own words used. Only they didn’t look happy about Monty’s statement about DR.W a r d e y n. The mama boy’s persona. It was easy to show how they truly felt on the inside. A fiery scowl that felt like it wasn’t going away anytime soon.
The more && more time they spent with Montgomery, in Bayden’s body the more his sister reminded them of Mother Gothel. Only it’s the sibling addition Instead of listening through it, Monty’s voice began to sound tiny && helium high-pitched, as far away as an echo.
If Bayden was meant to be controlled, that idjit would have come with a mother fucking remote. But guess what? He’s is own person. What did his own sister really know about him? It’s worse that his own sister didn’t even think about the concept of him ever falling in love.
Could be a thing someday! Anything was possible, but if it didn’t revolve around her, she wouldn’t notice. He is a qualified person. Not bothering to listen much after that, thus they lose more brain cells in the process. Not quite looking to happy && keeping there thoughts to themselves.
Only to be re-awakened into the moment when Monty sat on there lap. Who did she think they were? Jolly old St. Nicholas. Wasn’t she a little to old to be sitting on his brother’s lap like this. It was a high level of uncomfortable-ness, as she needed to leave room for the holy spirit.
Not that they even believed in the holy spirit! But damn girl give some space. “ It’s not much. “ Taking a small bundle of daffodils — wrapped in yarn to hold it together ( god forbid the string nurse would come back again knowing Bayden’s luck ). Freshly picked from the Asylum Grounds.
Pink lemonade rock candy. Though they couldn’t match Bayden's real skill of CHEF B o y b a y d e n style. This was still food-relative? Also re-using the cupcakes they made for them would have been safe, but let’s face it. The calories consumption of a cupcake ( 131+ c. ) vs. rock candy ( 15 - 50 c. ).
It would be a waste to give them to her if she would just throw them away in the end. Only now they had to try to finish things quickly between them. As they didn’t want to stay anymore longer than they should. “ Monty I’m not in the mood right now to stick around, fake a dance, so let’s JUST l e a v e.”
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Day 5 Reveals!
Go your own way [text, audio] (Our Flag Means Death (TV))
written by oddishly, performed by greedy_dancer
Summary: "Never left," said Ed.
After the Tone (SHINee)
written by halotolerant, performed by knight_tracer
Summary: Key leaves a message
A (Confirmed) Knight Bachelor [text, audio] (Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975))
written by Verecunda, performed by peasina
Summary: Sir Lancelot rather regrets bringing Prince Herbert along on the quest with him. But when the prince is captured by a lascivious brigand, he finds himself faced with a choice that will determine his true quality as a knight.
(With apologies to Chrétien de Troyes.)
The Late Little Lotus [text, audio] (魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù)
written by Ammo_Writes, performed by nonminus
Summary: Wei Ying is ten and there is going to be a new Young Master of Lotus Pier.
Wei Ying is very excited. He's always wanted to be a big brother.
Press L in the Chat (for Love) (Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV))
written by Phoenix_Soar, performed by chamyl, Djapchan, JoseyxNeko, Literarion, SkyAsimaru, snakeandmoon, Starlightdreamerstar, thundercrackpod, WaldosAkimbo, and wargoddess9
Summary: Bickering fan-content creators Aziraphale and Crowley only have three things in common — they are both avid fans of a new revolutionary TV series about pirates, they are popular for their fantastic fanfiction and fanart… and they are members of the same discord server.
Neither of them likes the other, but across the chaotic virtual world of a discord chatroom, who knows what can happen when these two unlikely fans are paired up for an exciting collaboration?
Us. We know ;)
Discord Server AU
Memory and Desire (Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies))
written by Dr_Fumbles_McStupid, performed by PhenomenalAsterisk
Summary: Jim presents as on omega on Tarsus and his experiences there color his whole view on his secondary gender for the worse. It takes multiple years and good friends to help him see that maybe heats aren't the worst thing that can happen to someone.
Or fiveish times Jim Kirk went into heat alone and despised every minute + 1 time he trusted someone enough to voluntarily share his heat
The Haus Official Ship Names (Check Please! (Webcomic))
written by sweaters_in_the_summer, performed by Amanita_Fierce, cottagepodfics, dairaliz, dessertwaffles, HowOldAreWe, hullomoon, JanuariumPods, Paradoxe1914, petrodobreva, poddingthemost, RattleandHum, sunlightsymphony, and wi22iou
Summary: “I’m sorry, what?!”
“Hockey RPF, it means real per…”
“I know what that means. Before that.”
“Zimbits?” he replies with a laugh.
“Mmmhmmm.” Bitty narrows his eyes.
————
A highly intellectual discussion of ship names: the real, the hypothetical, the fucking unpronounceable.
the story between you and me (人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù)
written by deepestbluesky, performed by DOA333
Summary:
Luo-shixiong,
Thank you for all your help with my latest work. Your expertise really helped write some of the key scenes, and I think it will really help make it stand out from the similar works many people are writing now.
I would like to ask for your advice on a different matter as well. Your general has been ambushing me on many of my night hunts. Do you have a suggestion for how I could make her go away?
Thank you again for your help.
Liu Mingyan
that peace like a river [text, audio] (Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, Shadow and Bone (TV))
written by hopelessgemini, performed by roseszain
Summary: it’s dark.
too dark.
jesper rolls out of bed, groaning as he does, and lifts the curtains.
nothing. no light pouring from the windows of the apartment next to his, illuminating the street below. no soft sounds of classical music, no shadows of movement tracing the shapes of the trees. just darkness, and silence.
or, jesper's weird classical-music playing neighbour with no concept of a sleep schedule goes silent, and then he runs into him in a coffee shop, and everything gets gayer from there.
Captain Janeway’s guide to dealing with intruders on your ship (Star Trek: Voyager)
written by alchemicink, performed by bluedreaming
Summary: Every Starfleet captain has to deal with intruders on their ship at some point. Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager has the procedure down to an artform
Elegies and Bittersweet Odes (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types)
written by dragonifyoudare and goneadrift, performed by klainelynch
Summary: It's a familiar story: The lost loved one, the alchemist's gambit, and the high, high price. But her stratagem is different, and her price is paid not in flesh but in endless, lonely years. She watches him live and die, and she finds herself unable to do either.
And yet, through lives and deaths and centuries, love can carry you home.
Intro: Colors True (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, A Stitch in Time: Andrew J. Robinson)
created by BardicRaven and RisalSoran
Summary: Color, like truth, is multi-faceted, ever-changing in the eye and mind of the beholder, never with only one way of being. Any competent tailor knows this, as does any skilled operative … and any exile with any hope for survival.
#podfic#fanfic#our flag means death#SHINee#mo dao zu shi#good omens#star trek AOS#check please!#the scum villain's self saving system#six of crows#shadow and bone#star trek voyager#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#star trek DS9#a stitch in time
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I feel like I want so self-combust. I know the past five years (it's REALLy going to be FIVE years?) have been "meh" here in Tumblr. And every single big social media platform is going through this weird thing where they REALLY want to "get bigger and increase their profits" with throwing part of their userbases down the bus.
I am here questioning myself why sudden talks about Tumblr going down, until I saw it with my eyes that the support staff (which was already smaller, being a low priority to their owners) is going to get cut down much more to the point of "maybe being supported by a skeleton crew" until it naturally goes down. And then I felt like the thing staff shared months ago about their "new plans" for the website all suddenly made sense all along.
We all knew it, I guess. We all knew Tumblr wasn't a high priority website to their owners (especially after two atrocious sales) and maybe making changes for newer users is what would make it even more profitable. But this news seems like it's basically sealing it: cutting down much more to their support staff is probably because they do NOT know what to do with the website anymore. And, maybe the "expiration date" isn't as far as it was when the nsfw ban happened. That one day in December 2018.
The problem, again, is... every other big social media website is having their own issues as well. I know there have been efforts to replicate the experiences that Twitter or Tumblr had before all their own fucked-ups, but they are still in their infancies. Not all options are good, some are still in their invited-only beta states, and basically it sucks that all the options out there to move are bad, lmao (regarding to the tastes of each one, very subjective and all that).
Ahhh... what a bitter drink this all is.
Maybe I can install that one python Tumbr back-up thing I used years ago to back up my blog... and save everything I have posted in the past 5 years (as long as I still have access to my data from those... 8 years? in my work laptop... the one I haven't really turned on since last year because a/c charger and battery issues :////. Yay.)
I don't want to move to other social media sites anymore. I want to stay in peace in maybe one for another 10 years until I vanish or smth. I'm so freaking tired. And with all the fuckery in Twitter since last year, I don't know anymore.
(I don't want to sound pessimist, perhaps some miracle happens in the way. Maybe it's not the end yet. But it makes you think and I'm already tired of all of this. I always say that social media was a mistake. In the long term. Everywhere kinda sucks these days and the few attempts to make something new that may replicate the same experience I had since 2008 or 2010 are still in those early stages of development... some bad, some good)
Btw, this is that python thing I used for the tumblr back up thing I went with December 2018: tumblr-utils.
#kao's ramblings#GOSH DARN IT - I really need to buy a battery AND charger for that laptop and back up the thing IN my HDD. AT BEST#i recently checked up the github link from this tumblr back-up developer and saw the few updates they pointed out about the whole thing#it doesn't look like much has changed but the tumblr ui's code changes might be an issue? hmmm#I would follow the 101 guide in any case#it's been 5 years and i don't... really remember how i made it all work... but it did?#but i'm afraid of running it in this laptop because reasons ._.#i even have the “half-point” post i made as a reference for future me lmao#some pics didn't saved because the image uploading websites didn't exist anymore at that point#i wonder if some direct url links as photobucket might get broken too and so and so
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Tuesday 17th October 2023, 02:45am
I really should be asleep right now. But I can't seem to get comfortable and when I do, my brain just won't shut up. So here I am, writing to you. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I don't know why. I think I've been missing you a bit. Is it strange to miss you? I don't know. I'm sorry if it is.
I really hope your blood tests came back okay and everything is all well with your health. Do you know when you'll have surgery yet? I was thinking about that the other day and hoping I hadn't missed it, so I could wish you good luck for it. I'm really glad to hear that you've found a job you can do that will turn into a career too and that you can get the training for it. Has that happened yet? Or are you still waiting?
I knew you were thinking of leaving the band, and that's okay. If it's ran it's course for you, then I'm sure your bandmates will be understanding, especially if they're your friends. I really hope the last two shows went well and that you enjoyed playing them at least and I hope the last show you do next month is good too. Will it be near your birthday? Because I know that's coming up really soon too. It's the week after I get back from another comic con, I go away on 17th November and come home on the 19th, so I'm just gone for the weekend. This time it's in Wales, I've only been there once when I was a kid.
Aw no poor Chonky :( I really really hope she's okay now. It sucks when our pets get sick, because they don't have a voice to tell you exactly what's wrong, so it can be pretty worrying. It's a good job that owners can usually tell though when something's wrong and what it could be, because they know their pet well. But it sounds like you did the right thing for her and I hope she's feeling much better now. I'm sure she loved having you look after her and care for her and make sure she was all okay.
Don't worry about streaming and stuff, you can come back to it whenever you feel like it, whenever you have the time. I look forward to the next time you do, I've missed chilling in your chat and just.. hanging out. I liked it before. I actually was playing some of the Cyberpunk DLC myself the other week, it was quite fun haha. But I definitely think I need to start upgrading my PC soon. Definitely a new fan and CPU and maybe a secondary SSD. I would upgrade my GPU but those are so expensive and my 1080 still serves me well at the moment.
I'm sorry it's been a little bit since I last wrote, I've just been busy with work mostly. I haven't had much going on or much exciting happening. Apart from going over to Belfast to surprise my best friend, that was quite cool. We went to another convention, I just booked a flight and a hotel and turned up. She had no clue I was coming and was really surprised when I got there haha. I literally just went over for like.. 24 hours. I'd felt bad cause I had to cancel a trip to go see her at the end of this month just due to work and not being able to get the holidays and stuff. So I was pretty upset and just wanted to do something kinda.. fun and spontaneous? Idk
Ian Somerhalder walked by me too and didn't even notice it, it wasn't until my best friend pointed him out and I was like "oh shit" hahaha. But I was more excited about Peter Facinelli and Jackson Rathbone from Twilight, I used to love that when I was like.. 14. I would have met Ian and Paul too, but it was far too expensive for me. Maybe some day I will. I recently started watching The Vampire Diaries again, since it's spooky season and all and I haven't watched it for years. So I've went right back to the start, I'm at the end of season 1 right now where Isobel is in it (I hate Isobel. And I fucking hate John Gilbert too)
It was also my dad's birthday on 8th October. That was a pretty hard day. I was quite sad and upset all day, but I watched a lot of my dad's favourite programs and stuff and tried to distract myself. Red Dwarf, Monty Python, The Mighty Boosh (which me and my dad actually started watching together) and some Billy Connolly. I also listened to some of his favourite music too. And I got a clootie dumpling from a local bakery (it's like a Christmas pudding kind of but not as rich), coincidentally it was the same bakery me and my dad and grandma and grandpa would go to, it was just down the street from my grandma's house. My grandma used to make him one for his birthday every year when he was a kid, instead of a birthday cake because it was cheaper. And he loved it. It was one of his favourite things. He'd always ask me to bring him some down when I'd go down and visit him in Nottingham, because you can't really get it anywhere in England and to make a proper one yourself, it's a bit of a pain and really easy to mess up if you don't do certain things right lol. When he was in the nursing home, I remember one day the chef had came to talk to him and asked him about food he liked and stuff. He was telling me that they'd asked him what kind of birthday cake he wanted and my dad immediately asked if he could have a dumpling. The chef agreed and said they absolutely could do that and I remember my dad being so so happy. His face was just.. completely lit up, big wide smiles, all excited. I think that's what made me extra sad, because he had been so excited for his birthday and his dumpling. He really liked the simple things in life, honestly.
So even though he wasn't here, he got his dumpling. I went out early on the Saturday morning and picked it up, had a chat with the guy who owns the bakery (who actually weirdly recognised me and asked me who my family were, so I told him and he immediately remembered me from when I was a kid, telling me about how he remembered I'd come in with my grandma to get the rolls and the papers, how I'd come in with my dad for a yum yum or a strawberry tart lol. I unfortunately had to break the news of my dad's passing to him, he didn't know. And he was quite sympathetic. He was a nice guy, just as friendly as I remembered when I was a kid. I'll attach a picture of the dumpling to this so you can see. I stuck a candle in it and everything for him. Sang him happy birthday and cried while doing so. But I knew he'd be nearby. I knew he'd be standing right behind me hugging me while I did. God just writing this is making me tear up a little bit.
I've started some grief counselling too. I think they are really helping me. I'm getting it through the hospice who helped with dad's end of life care, even though the were only involved for.. well a few days.. they've given me more support that some family have (my mother included. I'm still at odds with her. She's done more horrible and nasty shit since we last spoke and.. honestly I'm just seeing her for her true colours now, realising that I've been gaslit, emotionally neglected and manipulated by her for a very long time). My boss has been more than happy to allow me to attend these sessions, because they know in the long run it's going to help me and isn't going to affect my performance at work or anything. I'm actually doing really well at work at the moment, even considering that it is incredibly stressful and emotionally/mentally taxing at times, but I've had nothing but good reports in my weekly catch ups with my manager so far. So I think it's safe to say they can see that I am more than capable of doing the job. I just wanna try get through my probation and then move to a different department. Something that doesn't involve talking to customers lol.
Gran also got out of hospital, which is a good thing. She's back home and still resting and stuff, trying to get her strength back. She was in there for like.. just over a month. Unfortunately we don't think shes gonna be able to get any more chemo though, which sucks. But we're hoping her oncologist will still be able to do surgery for her, we just have to keep trying to get her strength up and make sure she's eating well and we're getting her walking and stuff. Even if it's just to the kitchen and back or around the garden. Small steps. It hopefully will make a big difference. I've been making sure to go see her at least once a week, even just for a couple hours at the very least.
I don't have much else going on right now. It's just work and looking forward to next month when I go to Wales. I don't think I have anything incredibly exciting planned for Halloween, which sucks, but I'll be working this year unfortunately. Maybe I can just relax and watch some spooky movies after work, eat some terrible sweets and enjoy myself a little. Oh and I'm on some new medication too actually, I'm not sure if it's working yet, I don't feel anything different. This is for a physical thing, not a mental thing. But it's nothing too serious, just something I need to like.. manage symptoms of.
I really hope you're doing well, E. I hope everything's going good and that your health is good and Chonky is good and work is starting and surgery is getting scheduled and all the good things. I know it must be getting warmer there too, because it's definitely getting fucking colder here haha. I've been absolutely frozen in the mornings for a couple days now, until I turn the heat on again and warm up. I think it's gonna be a reaaaaally cold winter this year which is unfortunate.
I really hope to hear from you soon. And I hope I've got more exciting things to tell you next time.
N x
"I saw you in a dream then it came to an end, I wonder if you'll come visit me again"
(the selfie was me at the con in Northern Ireland. It was SO fucking hot, I was boiling all day. But I still looked cute I think.. maybe haha)
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survey #089
(taken december 15th of last year; uploading surveys taken while gone)
Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like?
Nope. He deserves someone more successful. And actually pretty.
Is this year the best year of your life?
Nope. I still think 2017 was. Wild that it started with an OD... things change, man. Healing happens.
Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
No. It's some mess of purple and like seaweed-green right now. I'm ready to get it fixed, IF things even go right this time... I feel bad for my poor hairdresser, she's completely legit and has decades of practice and skill and my hair confuses the hell outta her with how it reacts to and mostly rejects color.
Do you think your first love affects the way you go on with life?
In MY case, it absolutely, very strongly did, but I have a feeling that's not the case with absolutely everyone.
Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t?
Yeah.
Who gives the best advice?
I think Mazzy. They're just very wise and reasonable imo and can see so many angles of a situation and I just really respect their advice.
Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends?
No. I hate having pictures taken of myself because I'm hideous but I'm trying to get over it honestly because I WANT pictures with people I love for when I'm old and want to look back.
Who do you usually see in your dreams?
Honestly, a lot of the time, my nightmares involve people I don't or very barely know at all, it's really strange. Sometimes it's my mom, though, which is just as if not more odd because honestly I'm closer to her than I've ever been these days; I never have violent thoughts/urges against her in my conscious world. Jason also still kinda regularly shows up, though he's never been the subject of one of my violent nightmares, just normal painful dreams.
What was the weather like yesterday?
It's been super cold and rainy the past few days.
Why did you last leave school early?
Oh hell if I know, it's been years.
Do you know anybody in the military?
I know OF people, but no one personally. I have a friend who I'm 99% sure WAS in the military but left because she hated it.
Who is your favorite animated character?
Pyramid Head/Red Pyramid Thing from the SH franchise.
What’s your preferred salad dressing?
What Olive Garden uses. I'm thankful you can buy it at Wal-Mart lmao.
Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver?
I have a negative amount of interest in that.
Have you ever been diagnosed with anything unexpected, mental or physical illness? How did you finally find out?
Ummmmm maybe? I'm quite sure nothing mental though because I've expected pretty much everything I've been diagnosed with.
Where do you like to sit when you’re on the computer?
I only use the laptop on the desk in the spare room these days. Those years of living in my bed are pretty far behind me now, thank the actual fucking lord.
Does it ever bother you when you can’t remember all the details about a book you’ve read?
YES!!!! This is actually why I'm considering re-reading The Outsiders. I still consider it one of my favorite books because I remember the impact it left on me, but I can remember almost nothing about it by this point.
Who was your favorite character in the last movie you watched? What about in the last book you read?
Ummm I'm pretty sure that was The Secret Life of Pets, and looking up the character list (I'm not familiar enough with the names), probably Chloe because oh my god WHAT A CAT. I also like Gidget bc RELATABLE HUNNY
If you keep lists, what kind of topics do they cover?
Heh... in my phone memos, I have lists of drawing ideas, ball python morphs + tarantula species I want, as WELL as other pets (mostly reptiles), future gift plans for Girt, tattoo ideas, and reasons to stay motivated and never give up.
Do you feel as though you’re good at understanding/communicating with animals?
I definitely do.
What is the biggest decision you’ve made in the past year?
Probably dropping Sara from my life.
If you could reconnect with someone from your past, who would it be and why?
Megan. Because despite lying about so fucking much for pity and to be "cooler" or whatever the hell she thought, I just still feel like she was, at heart, a good person that very much cared about me like I did her, she just... had problems that by this age I would genuinely hope she fixed. I'll always remember talking on the phone for hours, staying up late texting, being there for each other... There was something about that friendship that has never been replicated since.
What movie/show "emotionally scarred" you as a kid?
Fuckin Courage the Cowardly Dog. 😭 King Ramses can eat a dick and a half
How do you cheer up your best friend?
I get extra affectionate when he's down.
When’s the next time you’ll be drinking?
Zero idea. Maybe New Year's.
Last piercing you got and the next piercing you’re getting?
Last one I got, tongue. I'm pretty sure I'm getting an industrial ear piercing next.
Who do you text the most?
My mom.
What kind of car does your boyfriend have?
I am absolutely horrible with cars, I have zero idea. It's pretty nice though, that and the fact it's either black or dark blue (idr) is all I really know.
Have you ever played Gamecube?
I feel like I have at a friend's place.
What are you fascinated by?
Abnormal sciences are a big one, like mutations and shit. I just find all things nature-oriented to be very interesting.
Would you be willing to be examined for medical research?
I'd need more details.
Do you have a favorite pet?
I adore Roman and Venus quite the same, although I think it's very understandable that mine and Roman's bond is closer, given snakes are unable to form those kinds of relationships. I KNOW Roman loves me, but all I expect Venus to do is trust me, and that's fine. That's just the reptilian brain.
Could you call your best friend right now and tell them your biggest secret, and trust them to keep it?
Yes.
Have you ever touched a caterpillar?
Yeah, I loved holding them as a kid. I still very much remember in elementary school, there was a big tree us kids got to play around on like field days and stuff, and it was COVERED in caterpillars during the right time of year.
Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch?
Mmm, mostly. I watch almost everything John Wolfe uploads, and then I go on binges of catching up with tarantula kat and Snake Discovery.
Who is one singer or band you would kill to see live?
RAMMSTEIN RAMMSTEIN RAMMSTEIN ON GOD 😭 their concerts are legendary and I physically, emotionally, and spiritually NEED to go
What if you found out your ex was having a child with someone else?
If it was Jason, I'm very well aware I would feel EXTREMELY weird and almost absolutely have an emotional breakdown at some point bc trauma and once upon a time that's what *I* wanted, but I think I'd ultimately be okay, at least eventually. If I found out Sara was pregnant, I'd honestly be extremely worried about her because she has never wanted children and we both know that her body absolutely could not handle pregnancy.
Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you?
I mean it's pretty, but it is way, WAY too damn common. I know SO many people not even related to me that have "Marie" as a middle name, too.
When was the last time you couldn’t stop laughing? Why?
fucking last night when I was watching a Game Grumps episode, lol
Any ways in which you’re very different from the person you love/ like?
I am way, WAY more emotional than he is.
Who was the last person to unfriend you on Facebook?
Idk, idc.
Do you know why he/she decided to unfriend you?
I'm sure it was either a political or religious thing, I ain't shy about sharing those beliefs.
Have your grandparents ever asked you about your love/sex life?
lol homie the only grandmother I knew didn't give a shit about me or what I had going on, ever. Not that I at all woulda WANTED her to ask something like this, but yeah, she did not care about anything stemming from/relating to my mother/her own fucking daughter. Mom was the black sheep, and then I was. So she double didn't like me, I'm sure.
What was the last amusement park ride you went on?
Oh wow, I don't think I've been on one since very shortly before the breakup... Jason, his friend Dillon, and I went to the town fair and I stepped WAY outside my comfort zone in getting on one of those really tall rides where you sit around this circular thing and are carried way, way up and then abruptly dropped. I am very afraid of those rides (safe to say I screamed lmao) but said fuck it and did it anyway. It's an achy memory because this actually might have been the exact night of the breakup, but if it wasn't, I KNOW it was extremely close. I tried my best to stop being afraid of everything and just taking that first scary step but it wasn't enough.
Who was the last person to give you some of their food?
Uh probs Mom.
The last person you met, what was your first impression of them?
Uh pretty sure I last met a doctor, and I thought he was fine but seemed kinda bad with talking. Same, bro.
When was the last time you felt left out?
idk
Who was the last person you told a secret to?
My sister Nicole, I guess. She wanted to know why Mom entirely broke down outside of Ashley's place a few weeks ago, and I really wasn't sure if Mom would want her to know, but I also felt extremely weird hiding that from my sister so told her, along with that she absolutely could not tell Ash because Mom doesn't want her to know. I still feel weird about it, also having told her to not tell Mom I'd shared it with her. It was a messy convo I just really didn't know how to handle, a big part absolutely being because that I'm always so desperate to feel like my sisters like me so did what I knew she wanted.
Have you ever been on a ferris wheel that had swinging cages/gondolas? Were you in the swinging cage/gondola or too chicken to go on it?
Going back to that town fair thing with Jason, yes. I remember he was afraid to get on it because he hated heights, but I talked him into it. We kissed at the top and I thought it was super cute.
How many people have you had feelings for this year?
Only Girt.
Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad?
My parents did split, and Nicole and I (Ash had already moved out) stayed with Mom.
Do you think somebody’s in love with you?
I think, yeah. He's never said those exact words but his actions are pretty loud.
Do you ever listen to music that’s in a different language?
I very regularly listen to Rammstein, and there's a Latin song from WoW I absolutely adore that I listen to sometimes. There's probably more; I really should listen to more foreign metal bands in specific, historically I've loved those kinds of songs.
What’s your most embarrassing moment?
FUCK this one occasion where I realized Mom was home when I was rather sure she wasn't and walked out of my room half undressed after Doing Stuff with my bf and saw her on the couch and I just wanted to pass away. We never, ever addressed what happened and I am beyond thankful my mom clearly made the decision to just pretend nothing happened lmao
What was the last thing you took a video of?
I actually don't know.
Are there any ways in which your childhood was highly atypical?
My dad was an alcoholic, for one. I was honestly just a weird kid, too. At least, I feel like I was. I liked untraditional things.
Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language?
No.
Have you ever dated someone from a very different socioeconomic background?
Yes, Sara, but I honestly feel really weird sharing details about this because it's just totally not my business to share. I typed it out but ended up deleting it, I felt gross.
Do you own a disco ball?
No, but man I wish I did now just so I could see how Roman would react to it, lol.
What mountain range is closest to your house?
Appalachian.
Have you ever had famous neighbors?
No, not that I'm aware.
Are you competitive?
Nah. I'm not gonna say I NEVER am, but that is super far from a regular trait of mine.
[TW: SUICIDE/DRUG OD]
What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
I guess in all technicality, overdosing pretty heavily on cold meds. It still blows my fucking mind practically nothing happened, though I'm going to credit that to getting lots of fluids in time, ig.
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print('hello, world!') | Ashtray x Reader Platonic
Author's note: This one is about hacking and coding and stuff so anything that isn't common knowledge Ill have listed below with an explanation. To Be honest, I only know a little bit about this stuff so yeah. Hope yall enjoy!
python - a computer language (like java, java script, c++, etc)
print('hello, world!') - beginner string of code in python used when first learning
nmap - a security program used to scan networks
backdoor - basically a back door to bypass security within a system to secure remote access
masterlist
“You hackin or somethin?” Ash questioned, hovering over my shoulder.
“Technically yes.”
“What do you mean technically? It's a yes or no.”
“What I’m doing is ethical hacking. They hired me to try to hack into their system so they know if there are any weaknesses that they can fix before someone else does it illegally.” I explained.
He silently nodded, pulling up a chair. “So how do you know what you’re looking for?”
“Ok so first I need to know as much as possible about the system I intend to hack. I use nmap which basically scans everything. Then when I find the weak spots, I try to exploit them. Once I'm in, I wanna maintain access to the system so I install backdoors.”
“Why do you wanna maintain access? I thought it was like a one and done thing?” Ash asked.
“If you were gunna hack someone for money, would you want to get in their shit once and that's it or would you want to be able to access it again if they don't pay up? You have to remember once you tell them I hacked you, passwords are changing and security is gunna be upped. You wanna be in there before that happens.”
“I gotchu so after you install back doors then what?”
“That's the part I’m working on now. I'm clearing my tracks. I don't want any evidence of an attack left behind. One sign of an attack and that's it for the attack, security is upped before a ransom is ever talked about. The whole point is basically to act like a hacker that is exploiting the system for personal gain. Then I write up a report and send it to the cyber security department and they gotta take care of whatever weaknesses I found.”
“How’d you get into this shit?”
“I was a kid like you who spends too much time on the computer doin shit I shouldn’t be doing. I developed a knack for it so I figured I might as well go to school for it and make money off it.” I answered.
“You wanna teach me?” He asked.
“Ill teach you but under one condition.”
Ash sighed. “What is it?”
“Nothing illegal. I don't want the feds busting down my front door.”
“Fine. I promise I won't do nothin illegal.” He responded, pinky held out.
I smiled, linking my pinky with his.
“I’ll be right back.” I said, getting up to get a book from Fez’s room.
I handed the book over. “You have to start with the basics. This book is really good and I wrote lots of little notes in there for myself so start with this. It's basically just about coding and learning python. It will teach you how to do little projects to get a feel for it.”
He eagerly took the book, mumbling a thanks as he went to his room.
That was almost a year ago and boy has Ash learned quick. He is pretty good for being so new at it. He recently started learning how to hack which Fez has become a victim of. Ash’s first project was a device connected to the tv that allows him to remotely turn it on and off whenever he pleases. Ash made it when he was mad at Fez and he has been enjoying fucking with his big brother.
“Babee please tell him to knock it off.” Fez begged, trying to relax on the couch.
I couldn’t help but giggle. I didn’t think he would get into it as much as he did. But Ash knew better than to try it with me. I was still more experienced than he was and had no issues hacking his computer. I knocked on Ash’s door before entering.
“Listen, I love that you’ve been having fun with this and I know you’re annoyed with your brother but please stop messing with the tv.”
”Okay okay.” He smirked. “Wanna see how it works?”
“You bet your ass I do.”
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More black butler x Balance: unlimited incorrect quotes (FT. me:- Millie)
Millie: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Sebastian: *turning to Grell* How tall are you?
---------
Millie, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Ciel: You did WHAT–
Sebastian: William Snakepeare
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Daisuke: Hey, you want some leftovers?
Millie: What's that?
Daisuke: You've never had leftovers???
Millie: No, because I'm not a quitter.
---------
Sebastian: *Gets down on one knee*
Millie: Oh my god, it’s finally happening.
Sebastian: *Falls over*
Millie: The poison is kicking in.
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Daisuke: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Haru: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Daisuke: I’m leaving you and I’M TAKING MILLIE WITH ME
Suzue, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
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Haru: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Daisuke: >:O language
Ciel: Yeah watch your fucking language
Suzue: OKAY WHO TAUGHT CIEL THE FUCK WORD?
Sebastian: 'The fuck word'.
Millie: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Ciel: Oh my god she censored it
Sebastian: Say fuck, Millie.
Ciel: Do it, Millie. Say fuck.
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Haru: That bastard isn’t answering his phone
Millie: I’ll call
Haru: Suzue and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Daisuke: Hello?
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Haru: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Suzue: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Millie: I got distracted about halfway through.
Daisuke: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
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Suzue: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Millie: Not if they consent to it.
Daisuke: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Haru: YES?!?
---------
Sebastian: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Millie: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? :D
Sebastian: No! Four to five seconds!
Millie: Too late!!! >:)
---------
Sebastian: Can you keep a secret?
Millie: Do you know anything about my life?
Sebastian: No I do not. Good point.
---------
Suzue: Where's Millie, Daisuke, and Sebastian?
Ciel: They're playing hide and seek.
Suzue: Where?
Ciel: I don't think you get how this game works.
---------
Suzue: Favorite horror movie?
Millie: It
Daisuke: Saw
Sebastian: Annabelle
Ciel: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
---------
Suzue: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Millie: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Daisuke: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.
Sebastian: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Ciel: What the fuck is wrong with you people.
---------
Suzue: Bye Millie! Bye Daisuke! Bye Sebastian! Bye Ciel! Bye Millie!
Daisuke: You said ‘bye Millie’ twice.
Suzue: I like Millie.
---------
Suzue: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Millie: Several traffic violations.
Daisuke: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Sebastian: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Ciel: Also, that’s not our car.
---------
Suzue: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Millie: 'Prettiest Smile'
Daisuke: 'Nicest Personality'
Ciel: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Sebastian: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
--------
Ciel: Nothing in life is free.
Suzue: Love is free!
Daisuke: Adventure is free.
Sebastian: Knowledge is free.
Millie: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
---------
Sebastian: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Millie: You and me!!!
Sebastian, tearing up: Okay
---------
Sebastian: This is such a bad idea.
Millie: Then why are you coming along?
Sebastian: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
---------
Sebastian: You love me, right, Millie?
Millie: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
---------
Sebastian: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Millie: You're like 100+ years old
Sebastian: I MIGHT DIE AT 3,000!
---------
Sebastian: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Millie: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Sebastian: but what’s the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Millie: Sebastian, they...they weren’t always orphans.
Sebastian: ...
---------
Sebastian: You're right.
Millie: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
---------
Ciel: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Millie: Ciel, that's a coma.
Ciel: Sounds festive.
---------
Ciel: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Millie: I think you mean cards.
Ciel, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.
---------
Daisuke: What time is it?
Suzue: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Suzue: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Millie: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Suzue: It’s 2 am
---------
Sebastian: I know you snuck out last night, Ciel.
Millie: Play dumb!
Ciel: Who's Ciel?
Millie: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
---------
Sebastian: While I’m gone, Ciel, you’re in charge.
Ciel: Yes!!!
Sebastian, whispering: Millie, you’re secretly in charge.
Millie: Obviously.
---------
*Sebastian and Ciel sitting in jail together*
Ciel: So who should we call?
Sebastian: I’d call Millie, but I feel safer in jail
---------
Sebastian: What do you think Millie will do for a distraction?
Ciel: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Ciel: ... or they could do that.
---------
Sebastian: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Millie: How am I supposed to know?
Ciel: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Millie: *sighs*
Millie: You wouldn't be trapped.
---------
Sebastian: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Millie: The cow???
Sebastian: What?
Ciel: Lady Millie, W H Y?
---------
Sebastian: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Millie's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...
---------
Ciel: We need to get through this locked door. Daisuke, give me your credit card.
Daisuke: Here.
Ciel, pocketing it: Thanks. Millie, kick down the door.
---------
Daisuke: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Millie: You’re a hazard to society
Suzue: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
---------
Daisuke: Why are you on the floor?
Suzue: I'm depressed.
Suzue: Also I was stabbed, can you get Millie, please.
---------
Daisuke: I trust Suzue.
Millie: You think she knows what she's doing?
Daisuke: I wouldn't go that far.
-----------------------
The emotionless club quotes
------------------------
Daisuke, banging on the door: Claude! Open up!
Claude: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Millie: No, he meant-
Sebastian: Let him finish.
---------
Daisuke, about Claude: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.
Millie: Are we stealing them?
Sebastian: New or used?
Daisuke: Wonderful responses, both of you.
---------
Daisuke: I think we're missing something.
Claude: Teamwork?
Millie: Cohesion?
Sebastian: A general sense of what we’re doing?
---------
Daisuke: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Claude: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Millie: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Sebastian: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Daisuke: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.
---------
Daisuke: Care for another sundae, weenie?
Claude: I am not a weenie!
Millie: Relax, you’re among friends. *raises their drink*
Claude: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s.
Sebastian: You tell ‘em, Claude! *sips their drink*
Claude: Sebastian, what’re you doing here?
Sebastian: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.
---------
Daisuke: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Daisuke and Millie, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Sebastian: Our turn, Claude! One, two, three- vanilla!
Claude, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake?
---------
Daisuke, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Claude, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Millie, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Sebastian, trembling: What are we playing
---------
Daisuke: *Gently taps table*
Claude: *Taps back*
Millie: What are they doing?
Sebastian: Morse code.
Daisuke: *Aggressively taps table*
Claude: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
---------
Daisuke: Can I be frank with you guys?
Claude: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Millie: Can I still be Millie?
Sebastian: Shh, let Frank speak.
---------
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Daisuke: Shit.
Claude: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Millie: OH MY GOD SEBASTIAN FELL OFF!!!
---------
Daisuke: Why is Claude so sad?
Millie: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes
Daisuke: And...?
Daisuke: He got Sebastian.
#incorrect quotes black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis#black butler#black butler headcanons#black butler incorrect quotes#self insert#black butler sebastian#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis kin#sebastian x reader#kuroshitsuji sebastian#sebastian michaelis imagine#black butler claude#kuroshitsuji claude#balance: unlimited#black butler anime#balance: unlimited daisuke#daisuke kambe#haru katō#haru katou#Suzue kambe#balance: unlimited incorrect quotes
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-daminette
-introverted mari
-the usual class, adrien, lila, Alya! Salt
-Chloe redemption. She appoloises but leaves for New York a few months later due to bullying from the class.
- To distract herself from all the negatives in her life she immersed herself in work.
-has trust issues with strangers. Supportive Friends (Luka, Chloe and Kagami) and Parents.
-designs and sells her designs under MDC
-Solves cold cases while hunting down hawk-moth as "Nettie". (and because of this, hacking becomes a secret talent of hers) and reports her findings to the chief of police. Sabrina's dad (I forgot his name). Using Ladybug as the messenger. Ladybug explains to the Chief that she found someone to help track down hawk-moth, but doesn't want to be known. And that she is only giving acting as Nettie's messanger for cases that she just so happens to "accidentally" come across while searching for hawk-moth. So he sees Nettie as a "Robin Hood" just without the stealing part.
-She hangs out with Kagami but also learns how to use a Katana from her as an excuse to give to her mother. Like: learning how to teach people and is using Marinette as her Guinea pig student. Which Marinette then starts to enjoy. Especially when she needs to vent and just cut something down. And she eventually gets really good at it.
-the bullying gets worse
-by this time she's already gathering evidence against Gabriel and Natalie. Also finds out that Chat noir is Adrien. (she isn't very surprised). And makes a promise to herself that she will take them down before the school year ends.
-She goes to the Chief as ladybug to report what Nettie found. So they plot.
-stealing the miraculous from Adrien first before finding Kagami to be her Black cat for the final battle. And Luka as Python (different costume for identity reasons). They sneak into the Manor going straight to the lair where she found Adrien's Mom via CCTV. Heals her (let's pretend that LB has healing abilities. Ya?) and explains everything that is going on while Panther and Python search the area for the miraculous just in case. LB talks ladybug into getting Gabriel to surrender and she agrees. But Gabriel and Natalie storm in already transformed to fight. Not noticing Emily at first. When he finally does he stops. While Angry at them she convinces Gabriel and Natalie to stand down and surrender the miraculous to ladybug and face proper judgment.
-Ladybug, Panther and Python escort Gabriel and Natalie to the police waiting outside and Emily to get herself checked by the medics. Adrien is still asleep and unaware in his room. He will definitely be having quite the shock in the morning. His miraculous is gone. His mom is alive. Emily knows about him being Chat noir through LB. Is now under Emily's strict supervision.
-The last few months of school are loud after the news. Court hearing scheduled a week after the last day of school. Gabriel reveals Lila's role. Lila tries to get out of it but is proven guilty with evidence provided by Nettie. Bye-bye Liela~
- the class find out about what lila did and try to find Marinette to apologise.
-Marinette forgives but doesn't accept them as friends anymore.
Alya: "so now that we're friends again. Think you could get me that interview with Ladybug about the Hawk-moth case?"
Mari: "No"
Alya: "Thank you so mu-... What?... Why? We're best friends! True bestfriend help each other out!"
Mari: "exactly. Best friends help each other out. But where were you when I was bullied by lila. Heck the whole class. How about the harassment with Adrien. When I was clearly over him. We're not best friends alya. Not even close to being a friend"
Alya: "when did you get over adrien??? I thaught you were dating Luka to make adrien jealous."
Mari: (-_-) "I'm not. I haven't had a crush in adrien for 3 years now. I got rid of everything related to him. And I set Luka up with Kagami. They've been dating for over a year now"
Alya: "what the hell"
-not wanting to have anything to do with the class anymore. She applies for her last year in Gotham Academy (let's just say that she likes their curriculum: includes fashion design, coding and programming, and a kendo club. Kagami successfully converted her into a katana welding badass)
-Mari gets permission from her parents to move in to her Nona's apartment in Gotham.
- She leaves without telling anyone from the class. Only her family, Kagami, Chloe and Luca know.
-She arrives in Gotham and encounters Scarecrow on her fist day there. Gets caught in the fear gas.
-She sees her old classmates. Hawk-moth. Mayura. Chat Noir and Chat blanc. The Akumas. Purple butterflies.
-fights while under the fear toxin. Attacks every "akuma" (goons) coming her way. Unknowingly fighting the batfam thinking that they're "akumas". Until Nightwing holds her down and Robin injects the antidote.
Mari: *muttering* fuck you hawk-moth and your disgusting purple butterflies. *faints*
Red Robin: What the fuck...
Red Hood: I call dibs on Pixi pop becoming my sister.
Batman:.......
Nightwing: *looks at Robin* please tell me you heard that too...
Robin:.......
-Mari wakes up in the ambulance. Feels fine so she just hops off and goes straight for her bags.
Nightwing: where are you going? You still need to get checked.
Mari: I'm fine. I've dealt with worse. I'm just gonna go and get my bags. I don't trust the security here.
Nightwing: hey! Wait!
Mari keeps walking to her bags. Picks up her katana and straps it to her back and grabs her luggage.
Nightwing: Hey! You still need to get checked anyways... And questioned...
Mari: *stares*..... Fine. But please Hury I want to get to my place before it gets dark.
Batman: how did you fight the fear toxin?
Mari: it's called fear toxin... No wonder I saw what I saw... *looks at batman* I'm used to having to deal with my fears. I've had to fight them head on in Paris constantly.
Red Robin: Isn't Paris a peaceful city?
Mari: *scoff* peaceful my ass. It hasn't been peaceful at all the past 3 years. I've seen enough deaths and magical shit to last me a lifetime.
Batfam:......
Mari: *sigh* sorry for my language. I'm just cranky from not having had any sleep in the past... 1,2,3,4,5... 6...oh shit... Anyways... Look I just landed I haven't had sleep the past few days. Got caught in the attack. Somehow fought them of. Lost consciousness... Not even sure why I even woke up considered my lack of sleep...and now being questioned... And... That pretty much it really.
Batfam:.....
Mari: what still not satisfied?
Robin: you mentioned having encountered enough magic and deaths to last you a lifetime.
Mari:..... I did?
Batfam:......
Red Robin: yes you did
Red Hood: *mutters* why do I suddenly feel like I'm looking at a female replacement....
Mari: Oh... Damn... I'm not even sure if the blackouts been lifted yet.
Batman: blackout?
Mari: the media blackout...it should be lifted soon. Not sure when....
*Phone notification rings*
Mari: speak of the devil... Here.
*she shows batman her phone*
He goes through the news and 2 videos of akuma attacks.
Mari: can I have my phone back and go now? It's getting dark.
Robin: how are you getting there.
Mari: a cab.
Batman gives her phone back
Mari: am I done here?
Batman nods
When mari is leaving...
Batman: Hood, Robin keep an eye on her and makes sure she gets to her destination safe. We're going back to the cave to look more into this.
When mari gets out of the cab. She feels like she's being watched and followed. Discretely looks around trying to spot who's following her. (ladybug sense is tingling~) She shifts her katana to her hip just in case. While going to her apartment. And instantly locks the door and checks the windows. Wonders if they followed her... Then she spots Robin on the neighboring building.
Mari: ah... Its just them... Welp I'm off to bed.
--------------------------
Robin POV
Robin: She knows she's being followed.
Redhood: I'm not blind demon spawn.
They watch her enter her apartment while on guard.
Redhood: one of us should probably pass by her window. Just to let her know we're not goons. Pixi looks wound up...
Robin: ill do it.
He swings by her window. They guessed right. She was keeping watch.
Robin: something isn't right...
Redhood: no shit sherlock.
Robin over the comm: she's in. We're heading back to the cave.
----------------------------------
Batcave
-Siren, Gigantitan, Hero's day, mourning star (saw this in a fanfiction somewhere. Its a sad one)
Redhood: Holy shit...
Batman: How did we miss this?
Red Robin: found a call on the JL emergency call log.
Batman: play it.
Video call from Ryuuko on Hero's day. Showing the chaos, requesting for help, getting controlled, dropping the phone and walking away.
Batman: who answered this call?
Red Robin:.... Green Lantern
Robin: wait... Scroll up... Its the girl from the airport.
They play the mourning star akuma video.
Mourning star: a widow that had a miscarriage. Mourning the death of her husband and unborn child. The akuma kidnapping children and killing them infront of their mothers. So that they know the pain of losing a child. (I know it's depressing... I found this in a fanfiction. Forgot the title. And it was way more depressing than what I just wrote...) (ill skip this bit)
Marinette getting children to safety. Away from the akuma. Calming them down and getting them to hide in an abandoned building. Distracts the akuma by pissing it of and luring her away from the nearby preschool. (she's badass both in and out of the suit) then suddenly transforms into a mouse themed hero while on the run. Divides herself into smaller selves. And splits up each going down different alleyways. (she never becomes multimouse again after this: she got compromised again. Let's just say that she staged this bit to get halkmoth off her trail... In case he suspected her of being LB). Then not long after Chat noir shows up looking for LB. When LB finally shows up... He starts flirting and causing even more trouble. Akuma gets caught. Butterfly gets purified. Magical ladybugs fixing everything and LB punching Chat in the face. The end.
Redhood: he had that coming.
Robin: She was a hero? Are there others?
Redhood: why? Got a crush~?
Robin: *blush* no.
Red Robin: found one. Evillustrator. CCTV footage...
CCTV: Evillustrator breaking into the top floor of a bakery. Then leaving. Chat Noir showing up. Marinette answering the door. Chat Noir flirting. Marinette sarcastic acting. More chat noir flirting. He leaves. Fast forward. She leaves the bakery all dressed up (Robin's thaughts: she looks cute... WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN!!!! NO!) (I changed it a bit hehehe)
They shift to different CCTVs until she gets to her destination. Meeting up with the akuma (Redhood: what the hell... She went on a date with an akuma?) (Red Robin: wait look... Chat Noir) (Robin: *clenching his teeth and fists*) chat noir sneaking on the boat. And laying low. Mari snatching something and throwing it at chat. Chat messed-up. Mari gets trapped with chat in a glass box with the boat sinking. Chat trying to find a way to get out of the box. Mari just standing there until she gets fed up. Grabs the baton and extends it upward while grabbing chat noir's tail/belt and flinging him towards the pier. Gives back his baton. Chat flirts again. Kisses her hand then salutes. Mari turns away of cam. (Nightwing: did that count as a date?) (Redhood: yes) (Red Robin: no) (Robin's thaughts: strong, beautiful, smart, tricky ... Just what else do you have under your belt... Shit I called her beautiful...) (Batman: follow chat noir)
Shifting again to other CCTVs. Stopping on one viewing a hotel. Chat and Ladybug already on the scene. Doesn't take long after that for the battle to end.
Batman: we need to keep looking more into this...but right now. I'm going to the tower. And deal with Green Lantern.
-----------------
-after this Robin makes sure to make Marinette's apartment to be part of his patrol route.
-Mari notices but doesn't try to call him over.
-he observes her and finds more things about her. (a designer, a gamer, a Baker and if her katana and fighting skills is anything to go by... Judo?)
-Mari knows that she's being observed so she makes sure the kwamis are hidden.
One night she decides to embroider on her balcony.
-curious... Robin comes closer to take a peek at what she was making... A dragon embroidery.
Mari: are you going to stay there or are you going to come down here and tell me what you need?
Robin:.... This place is part of my patrol route....
Mari: I noticed but I don't believe that that's all your here for.
Robin:...... you're one of the heroes...
Mari:........ *she looks at him* ex-hero... Retired hero??.... Who cares. I've been compromised.
Robin: I know... But it looked on purpose.
Mari:....... What do you want? Did you need something?
Robin:....... I don't trust you..... Your confusing...
Mari: I'd be worried if you did. Trusting people you just meet... Not a smart move.
Robin:.........
Mari:........ Anything else?
Robin: No. I'll be on my way.
Mari: wait hold on a second... Here (she gives him the extra macaroons she made) I'm a stress Baker. I made too much.
Robin:....... I thaught that we agreed that we didn't trust each other....
Mari: I don't. Not completely. But I also know your not a bad person. Protective sure. But that's to be expected considering your cutrent occupation...... Just take it.... You've been observing me the past few days. You should know by now that I'm not a horrible person...here I'll even take one. (she takes one and pops it in her mouth) see? Safe.
Robin: fine I'll take them to the idiots........thanks.......(then he leaves)
Mari: hmm... Now back to work...
---------------------
Keeps going on like this for the next few months.
Until its time for the new school year to start....
(I'm sleepy right now. I'll continue this tomorrow. I'll edit this same post. I won't be making it separate)
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Andrew sat on the couch looking at his phone. He browsed through his feed, when suddenly he felt his dick become erect. Which wasn't strange for your average 23 year old man.
Andrew looked up and saw his friend Andy on the otherside of the room. So, he just ignored his boner. He couldn't just whip out and jack off infront of his friend. Besides, ignoring his hard 2 inch boner wasn't a hard thing to do.
Moments passed and the pain began to get harder to ignore. Without looking, he tried to get into a comfortable position. That's when he felt something warm and long press against his leg.
It caught him off guard and he jump a bit. The swift movement caused his pants to tightly squeeze his dick and he moaned in pain.
Finally, Andrew looked down and saw what was going on. His heart raced, as he pushed a snake like bulge in his pants going down his leg. With each poke, he moan out in pleasure. Finally, it was confirmed in his mind; his dick had become a thick 8 inch monster.
Instinctively, he placed a pillow over his new giant buldge. He looked over at his friend who seemed oblivious. Without making a scene, he tried ot get up. But, the pant fabric painfully squeezed his dick and balls. He yelp in pain and, quickly, sat back down.
Andy started walking towards Andrew. A smile was on his face. "So, it's finally kicking in." Andy said as he looked at Andrew's crotch. Andy started unzipping his pants.
"What the fuck are you doing!?" Andrew shouted. But before he could look away, he saw a familiar sight hanging from his friends body. There was no mistake. Andrew's small dick was now attached to his friends body. "You might as well take off your pants. It not like I haven't seen my own dick before." Andy said.
Then it hit Andrew. The bulge in his pants was similar to the few times he caught Andy with a boner. He sighed to get over the awkwardness and whipped it out. Revealing a dick he only saw the outlines of, through shorts. As it stood erect, he was happy to be free from the pain created from his tight pants.
"What the fuck is going on" Andrew said puzzled.
"I'm giving you my dick for the day. After you told me you haven't had sex because you're embarrassed of your dick size, I knew I had to help out my bro." Andy answered.
"What! This is fucking crazy. You probably should just undo whatever you did..." Andrew begin to worry.
"Dude, relax! Come on. I've been pretending to be you on multiple dating apps and I set up a day of sex for you. Who knows, if this goes well maybe I'll let you borrow my dick again.
"I don't know. This all seems to weird." Andrew said, still questioning everything.
"Stopping doing that! Stop and just enjoy it. Most guys would be thrilled to magically have an 8 in cock placed between their legs. Come on, this will give you the confidence boost I know you need."
"Yeah, I know your right. I'm actually kind of grateful and surprised you care this much... But, I haven't had sex. I don't know how to use this." Andrew said grabbing his new junk.
"Then fuck me bro. You know I've had a crush on you. Now, I can live my fantasy of you fucking me. Think of it as a payment for letting you borrow my dick," Andy saw the hesitation in Andrew's face. "Look, I know your straight. But don't think of it like that. Your using my own dick to fuck me. There's nothing gay about that right!? Besides it'll give you the practice you need for all the sex you'll have today."
Andy bent over to reveal his tight asshole. Andrew's new 8 inch dick got hard. Everything about this situation scream wrong. But, he knew he couldn't let an opportunity like this pass. He wanted to finally expirence sex. He'll just think of banging his buddy as a learning opportunity so, he be able to please all those ladies booked up.
Andrew drew in a deep breath and let his instincts take over. He walked over to Andy. "Can I put it in?" He asked.
"Dude look at me I'm ready to receive. You don't have to ask." Andy said annoyed .
Andrew slowly put his dick in his friends ass. They both gasp in pleasure. Finally all 8 inches squeeze into Andy's ass. "Okay, I'm in. Are you okay does it feel good." Andrew ask.
"Fuck yeah dude. Now pull it out a bit and stick it back in. And that's basically fucking." Andy responded. Slowly Andrew pulled out and and even slower he pushed it back in.
"Hold on dude." Andy sighs. "What! Is something wrong. Am I hurting you." Andrew ask. "No bro, your going so slowly. Pick up the speed."
Andrew start going a bit faster, in and out. Andy started moaning in pleasure. "There you go. Uh... uh... fuck ...yes keep going."
Andrew loved the feeling as his dick sled against the walls of his friends asshole. He started feeling this new power deep in his body grow. He felt more confident with each thrust. And; with that increase in confidence, he was becoming more aggressive. "Fuck yeah, take it bitch." He yelled out as he picked up speed, going faster and faster. He began letting out loud raoring moans.
"Ugh.. uh ...uh... uh slow ....uh down." Andy moaned out. "No bitch, you're fucking taking it." Andrew shouted back. They both scream out in an orgasmic climax as Andrew's dick released a full load of cum into Andy's ass.
Andrew quickly whipped out his dick from Andy's ass, causing Andy to yell out. As soon as all 8 inches were out, Andrew tossed Andy to the side like a used toy. Andrew began staring at himself in the mirror. Flexing and playing with the monster of a dick between his legs.
Andy was left on the bed catching his breath. He looked at Andrew, checking himself out. He was happy to see Andrew enjoying himself. But with each passing second, he felt more insecure of having his naked body exposed on the bed. He look at Andrew and was intimidated by there new cock size differences. He quickly began covering himself up.
At this point Andy knew something was wrong with the spell. He want to recommend swapping their cock sizes back to normal but he was worried how Andrew would respond. He didn't want to make his friend angry.
Before, Andy could stir up the last shreds of confidence left in his body. Andrew started getting dressed. "Thanks bro, I'm gonna fuck the shit out of these bitches. Oh and I don't know how you did this but yeah, I think we both agree that this should be permanent now, don't we."
Andy could clearly feel that both of their personalities were changing. He looked at the new strength Andrew's already strong body had seemed to gain. He seemed more manly and more attractive. Andy was beyond intimidated. In fact his small 2 iches was starting to get hard again.
Andrew stood aggressively staring at Andy, waiting for a response. His python hanging out in the open. Andy was starting to feel afraid of what Andrew would do if he said no. So, Andrew just nodded his head in agreement.
"Good, I liked that answer." Andrew responded. "I think you just earned a round two, after I come back from fucking all these sluts you lined up for me. It feel like this dick still wants to be a part of you . But, it doesn't seem to mind that the only way that going happen now is by being shoved in your ass."
As Andrew left, Andy tried to fight these new feelings that were flooding his mind. He ran to his room to see where the spell went wrong. And, his heart sank as he realized he failed to read the full spell.
Note: If the two affected by the spell commit intercourse their personalities will change depending on the roles they played in said intercorse. Also, as long as the spell last they will be bonded by sexual interest with each other.
Andy realized what he did. By helping Andrew and guiding him what to do. Andy turned Andrew into a dominant, aggressive, sexual beast. He on the other hand had become submissive and caring to Andrew's every need.
Even now with the spell infront of him, he couldn't get himself to recite the reversal spell. It would go against the helpful, submissive, caring attitude towards Andrew that he now felt and acted out during sex with him.
In fact having this spell around was just a threat to Andrew's new happiness. So, Andy tore it up and flushed it down the toilet. The last piece of who he used to be screamed out in horror.
He looked around the apartment. He knew it would be to messy for his Andrew. He need to make sure his Andrew was happy and pleased when he got back home. And, after all that sex he was gonna do, his Andrew was going need some nourishment when he got back home.
As Andy cooked and clean, he could only smile thinking about how happy he was going to make his Andrew. Being a cum dump for him wouldn't be so bad. Yeah, it sucked, that he had to share his Andrew with a constant parade of sluts. But, what would one expect being in a relationship with a man as attractive and manly as his Andrew. And, at the end of they day, Andy knew his man would always come home. After all, his Andrew couldn't resist his nice ass. It was a weird relationship but, it worked for them.
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On the subject of marvel comics ...
If we’re gonna talk about how Marvel does literally nothing about giving a leg up to marginalized creators and staff members, I’ve got another story to tell. Towards the end of my time there, I’d been getting a sense that marvel editors were lying about keeping me in mind for projects after iceman, and the following incident sealed the deal in terms of being told (not in any legally binding way) that I had overstayed my welcome at the house of ideas. Sometime in 2018, an editor at a different publishing house asked if I’d pitch for an all-ages Spider-Man book they were licensed to produce. Considering I saw CB Cebulski have a conniption at a comic con party when another Marvel Comics writer told him he’d been courted to do the same for avengers, I asked that editorial to make absolutely sure marvel was cool with me pitching for this project. The editor got approval, and I wrote a damn good idea that was on the fast track to being the next arc in the series. For those who aren’t familiar, when you’re not a household name, pitching for a legacy character is quite a bit of work. Given my lifelong love of Spider-Man, it wasn’t exactly grueling to come up with a handful of ideas and then properly outline the one my editor liked the most… but it’s still work. All that being said, I felt great about the final document, and that I’d bought myself a few more months of being Marvel-adjacent so I could continue growing my reputation for being known for my writing chops, and rinse off the notion that I was ever anyone’s diversity hire. Cut to a few weeks later, and my editor tells me that I can’t be used for the series. The exact words he relayed from Marvel were: “they’d like to keep the focus on iceman for now.” That e-mail came in the day I turned in my last script for Iceman. I reached out to Marvel’s talent relations guy, and he got me on the phone to explain a completely different reason why I was taken off the book: he said that Marvel only wanted people with experience in all-ages because there were different formatting rules than what goes into a standard comic script (a half truth that doesn’t matter when you read the next sentence). I mentioned that I did an all-ages book for Simon and Schuster, a middle grade series for Image Comics, short stories for Boom Studios, and edited an all-ages title for Robert Kirkman. The talent relations guy was like, “Oh, I didn’t know all that.” He then went on to say that Marvel had a list of people they wanted this editor to approach and as a result some wires got crossed and thus I was out of several months’ work. He didn’t offer to fix the problem, he didn’t offer to throw me on any number of space-filler mini-series that were just basically keeping Jonathan Hickman’s seat warm… nothing. In response, I said to the talent relations guy: “Do you believe what you’re telling me?” He didn’t have a particularly good answer. Oh if you’re wondering: like NONE of the writers who did end up getting hired for these all-ages titles had legitimate experience with all-ages material. They’re all great writers and some of them are my homies, but it’s not like they came from scholastic or random house. All of this is to say: I went above and beyond to make sure I was approved to pitch on a project, I worked my butt off and wrote something my editor was incredibly enthusiastic about, and then I magically got unpicked and wasn’t offered a reasonable explanation, a substitute gig, or a kill fee for the work I had put in on the proposal. Thanks, Marvel. This whole debacle wasn’t included in a piece I wrote last year because the editor I was working with asked me not to. Given that his relationship with Marvel was already tenuous, he didn’t really need more pressure/ stress. This guy went to bat for me and helped get me one of my favorite gigs, and having been in his position as an editor dealing with multiple bureaucracies, I didn’t want to make his life any harder. But he’s no longer at that company, and he gave me permission to bring this up. So here we are. I hate that I’m once again in a position where I have to call out Marvel on some BS, because I don’t know that anything positive will come from it, and that everything I’ve done in my career will once again be boiled down to: “semi-attractive queer comic creator complains about marvel comics.” Like, never mind that I’ve been at this since I was in high school, ran Kirkman’s imprint on my own before I was 25, and have gone on to write almost all of my favorite DC Comics characters after leaving Marvel. It’s shitty to be an individual talking about a beloved company... but it’s the right thing to do. The only thing I can 100% predict will happen from me speaking up is: a bunch of haters are going to get back on my dick again and make social media unbearable. To those folks, my birthday is on Monday… can you maybe not? Just this once? Stories like what I've written need to be considered when discussing if Marvel has actually done anything to be accountable for not only hiring more diversely, but for fostering an environment where those people feel valued. My only advice to Marvel would be: fucking hire a third party organization to teach you all how to do this right… you can’t keep propping Sana up on a podium and pat yourselves on the back for doing half of the bare minimum. I hate that I still love your books (I spent good money buying the oversized Silver Surfer Black collection), and I just wish that the gatekeepers were a bit more responsible and cognizant of how deep their behavior and apathy cuts. Granted, this is a company that has a bad reputation for not treating anybody fairly, so there is always the argument that Marvel Comics is just run by a box of pythons who indiscriminately poison and devour folks. I’m not sure... after 18 months away from them, I still try to excuse the bad behavior and blame myself for how things went down.
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