saltyxtides

[saltyxtides]

MONTGOMERY WARDEYN.

Bayden was one of the most cuddly people on the planet despite his off putting personality and when he finally put his arm up around her Monty felt more signs of him. Between the home-spun gifting so simple and the quickness for affection she had no reason to suspect anything was up in this room.

Until he refused to dance. 

Celeste told Bayden she wouldn’t try to ruin his life with family, but it seemed her own stubbornness couldn’t help itself. 

Celeste said to Bayden Monty would sniff it out because she was a witch too. Nah. She could sniff it out because Celeste couldn’t follow one simple lead set before her. 

When families have traditions you don’t break them. She even just heard Monty say out loud Bayden was the one who made up this tradition giving Celeste the biggest clue how important this was to Bayden and Monty really comes here every year just for him to do this. Celeste was fucking up by not just going through the motions and moving along. She was tipping Monty off is what she was doing sucking at acting like Bayden at all.

Why does it matter if we don’t do it this year?

“Because it’s what we do. It’s our tradition. It’s how I know you love me. You’re acting weird. Not your regular weird. Actual weird.”  

She shook her head no. She wasn’t going to stop.

Then up she went forced off his lap. As her mind was reliving the Valentine’s Day the tradition was made up she almost became turned into a boiling pot of rage because she knew things right now Celeste did not. The Bay turned this into being worried for mommy. She narrowed her eyes at him. She stood there with little white knuckled fist balls at her sides and straight arms. It was the only thing he could have said to simmer her down and make her believe in any sort of way something might have been more important than the dance. The stupid mamma’s boy. Thank fuck he was so that he was so easy to manipulate. They did need Jude alive.

“Fine, but we’ll dance in the house before I go. I’ll hate giving mom the satisfaction of knowing how mushy we get, but I’m getting my dance. I blame you. My date can wait. I’m worth it.”

Personal life? Shrugging her off and going vague with terms like personal life? Who did he think he was talking to? He wasn’t an employee speaking to a boss. This wasn’t work. This was his sister. They didn’t have boundaries like that. Personal life? That’s what she came for so he could talk to someone for real because he lied to all the doctors. They both knew that. She was who went to about his personal life. So this instantly made no sense now. She was his real person and now he was going to suddenly build a wall?  – At least, Monty thought she was his real person. Truly, she was. At least, Bayden attempted to make a real person out of Rowan because of the things he couldn’t open up to Monty. But, Rowan started to be a sucky friend too. You know you’re a sucky friend when Bayden decides he likes his sister better than you.

“What personal life? Look, if this is about Janet again her husband doesn’t know. If she’s acting weird again she’s just scared of getting caught, but that’s half the thrill for her anyway. I have already gotten the last janitor that was going to file a report fired. I said he touched me. I did a mind wipe on her hubs before he could confront her. He’s never going to confront her, Bayden. I got ahead of it all. Really. You’re in the clear. Fuck nurse pussy to your heart’s content. She had a hysterectomy. I don’t really give a fuck if it gives you some excitement in these boring walls and I don’t become an auntie. Just try to be discreet. Just tell me if you think someone saw you guys again so I can deal with it. You know it just snow balls into a bigger mess when you stall.”

He danced with a girl before?

She laughed as she gathered up her gifts and his gift basket so he could go through it at the house.

“Yeah, I know all about your dates to all those medical conventions and galas Mom paid for so you could appear like a nice young man that knew nice girls back when she paraded you around like a patient monkey in a suit. You cleaned up real nice too. Remember the one in the red dress with big puffy brunette hair? The convention you accidently got burnt down? I helped pick her out. She seemed like your type. But you always told me those girls didn’t count. It doesn’t count when your mommy pays them to be on your arm.”

Then she thought about his moments he escaped and his hallucinations. She better check in to be sure he’s okay. She waved them on.

“Change of heart? They count now? Or is my big brother keeping a secret from me?” She started to smile like come on. Let it out. Spill if there’s something’s to tell.

Getting through the hospital and loading up the car would have to go in relative silence because even though much of the staff knew what was going on so Bayden wasn’t unaccounted for during head counts there was still an obscurity to taking a patient with a life sentence without parole dropped in this program off grounds, even if it was just up the hill to the director’s house.

Bayden would be forced to lie down in the backseat where he wouldn’t be seen as they drove up the hill. He knew the routine, but if Celeste messed anything up along the way Monty was sure to remind him. Once safely stowed away she’d say, “Remember the first time I drove you and we snuck away first to get ice cream and Indian food? We laughed so much and you wanted to run away. I asked how we would live. You said I don’t care as long as I have ice cream, and Indian food, and you, every day forever you thought it was so good. I’ll be good I swear. I kept telling you you were good. Mom was so mad by the time we finally went home. I’m surprised she ever trusted me to drive you, her precious boy, ever again.”

But boy oh boy if the real Bayden could read minds. Thank goodness he couldn’t. If he knew Rowan-Celeste-Whatever-She-Wanted-To-Be-Called was judging him all the time the way she was, judging his family, just fucking all of it, daring to act like she had room to judge as if Celeste had a normal bone her body worthy to cast normal judgement… that’d be last she’d ever see of him. Luckily, he could not read minds.

Instead while Celeste was avoiding the dance with his sister the real Bayden was dreaming of it, wishing for it, and missing it so greatly stuck in Rowan’s body he’d… she’d nearly be having a breakdown of their own in silent tears by themselves avoiding everyone for the rest of the day because they were close. Monty and Bayden were close. That was the problem here. Celeste was somehow missing even though they were putting Bayden through all this she was all he had in the whole world. She was his everything. Of course they were close. She was his one and only visitor in the entire fucking world. If the girl wasn’t intelligent enough to figure out these two were close she was going to ruin his life before the day was through because Monty didn’t have to be a witch to figure out something was wrong with Bayden if this was going to keep up.

( @montywonmom​ )  

      THEY tested the water’s that they treaded on.  Montgomery just happened to be the current that demanded there full attention or so god they would certainly find themselves in deeper water.

      ‘ The trick, ’ said the voice in there head, ‘ is to commit your sins in plain sight. ’ as if the voice read there mind.  They needed to switch to there p l a n B.  Not that they were happy about having to do it.

      Sadly.  They fingered the hidden package in the leather jacket’s hidden upper pocket.  That they managed to hide, as Montgomery almost found it earlier if they didn’t stop her from patting his stomach.  Soreness is one factor, as there was also something they didn’t want them finding.  Though they hoped they could have given it to Clarissa, but it was still made with Montgomery in mind, in case they had to go with PLAN b.

      “Ok.  Then what about sibling code of conduct?”

      “If you don’t want me to be salty next year little sister then here’s a solution.  Once a month.  Preferably any sunday.  Call me.  Believe it or not I have a phone.”  Pulling it out && wiggling it to show her the proof that she must already knew about.  Yet there was still another in assistant living house too.

      “Since you’re the one with the busiest schedule.  It’s easier for you to make the call first.  Yea?”  Since being in Bayden’s body a little over a month, they’ve learned a thing or two about them just from observing alone.

      “&& you can start on how much of a DWEEB you’re d a t e was.  Tonight.”  Emphasizing older-ly brother distaste of her date she was going to have tonight.  Bayden’s sister so happily brought to the conversation.  Along with portraying selfish-concern.  After all she was meeting a total stranger that just might psychologically be more fucked up than her.  It’s not that impossible to imagine that Bayden could be worried about there little sister’s well being.  Along with the teasing that it wasn’t SUNDAY but t u e s d a y.

       But using dramatic means to make a point, but underlining that they must miss there younger sister, &&. be concerned all on top of it all, while wishing to connect more felt stronger in leads of Bayden’s side of a brother.

      They could only hope by the time Montgomery calls next time she’ll actually be talking to the real Bayden.  If Montgomery ever called again - one visit a month wasn’t enough effort for them to accept.  Cause regardless of her attitude now, the real Bayden deserved better, && needed more.

       They knew Bayden was SALTY but his sister was certainly s n a p p y.  Couldn’t help but admire the ORIGINAL-d u e t of the Wardeyn siblings. Feeling a grin tug at the corner of there lips.  “What are you talking about Monty?  WE give m o m the satisfaction every year.  Every dance — ” pointing at the ceiling, rolling there finger &&. whistling for dramatic effect, as if circling the surveillance not just from the camera’s around the room, but some of the nurses capturing the successful valentines day event they so provide at Briarcliff Asylum DR.W a r d e y n could use for publicity.

       “I know it’s our TRADITION , it’s i m p o r t a n t to me , && I know it’s important to you too.  Despite everything , we still have each other — ”  

      “ — It’s just this year I wanted . . .  to surprise you?  Do something DIFFERENT for y o u that can’t be done here but you’re hella impatient.  You deserve better then paper doilies && dancing under construction paper hearts Monty. ”  They didn’t lie, going into damage control mode - as they had a plan in mind in case the nuclear reactor was over-heating they thought it through since Christmas.  That’s how far along they planned this in case they had too.

       It also was a drop of a hint. A big brother ruffling his younger sister’s feather’s on the outside playing on her impatient weaknesses.  Only they tested what was possible && what wasn’t from the inside as they were learning as they go.  There not Bayden because in the end, no one could replace the original, but there not dumb enough going into this blindly, they had a little more creativity/planning it was always something that felt familiar to them. 

       Slowly turning around, walking backwards as there hands would jam into the front pockets of Bayden’s signature leather jacket.  There was something soft.  A soft muffling clanking sound being jostled around in that LEATHER j a c k e t of his that clearly would peak Montgomery’s interest as they wouldn’t have stopped until she had recognized the sound was coming off them.  As they wouldn’t give it/reveal it until they got back to the house it seemed.

       They hoped the little hints being dropped might lower there blood pressure, cause Montgomery couldn’t hide her anger veins if her life depended on it!  All they could HOPE for was that they border lined thought — maybe she just got to close to something Bayden didn’t want her to find so quickly > That sitting on his lap might have made them overly nervous — Could have outright panicked && moved her without thinking twice about it > doing all they could to try to cover for it only saying the first thing that came to mind.  H o p e f u l l y.

       . . .  They were silent for a moment as they pivoted forward, as they were wanted to be angry but couldn’t.  Bayden’s own sister talked about a cheap version of what happened to her own mother when there where plenty of other ways - tactics - to get someone fired.  To carelessly use sexual assault as a means of an end knowing the person they are talking too?

‘ ...I was never wanted just some accident of rape okay ’   ‘ ...I don’t belong on this fucking earth. I shouldn’t fucking exist ’

       It was like going back as they saw the ghostly visage of that night play in the back of there head.  Remembering the pain in Bayden’s face as Rowan, hearing the hurt in his voice as Rowan that night.  Worse they couldn’t get mad — not for what DR.W a r d e y n or for BAYDEN been through because of it.  

       “ You know this conversation is starting to snow ball into an avalanche, because I’ve temporarily taken a hiatus on nurses.  FOCUS l e s s on Janet - that was so last month but don’t quote me on it cause it’ll probably be back in next month.  BUT concentrate m o r e on the pressing matters that my life right now is glitteringly — coarse && rough && irritating && messily everywhere && not worth much to bother about. ”  It’s basically like glitter. If it was a feeling, that’s how they felt.  The problems they struggled with as they couldn’t exactly tell Monty everything, but they also couldn’t lie either or be damned by getting caught by a Witches intuition.  They met in the middle of things.

       They had forgotten about that.  Briefly remembering seeing Bayden dress up a couple times in a PENGUIN-s u i t e /  FORMAL-s u i t e as all that sounded a lot like glorified torture, && it made a little more sense as they snorted with humor.  “ I looked liked Oswald Cobblepot on a bad day. ”  They wanted to smile, the kind of smile that would reflect that they were thinking of someone that they liked-a u g h aware of?  Bayden stature in a suite reminded them of cosplaying Oswald Cobblepot, the Robin Lord Taylor version, at least.  They wanted to be mean && tease him about it now.  Feeling a massive curiosity too, unfortunately they couldn’t tap into memory's of Bayden to pry what Montgomery meant when — convention you accidently got burnt down.  Feeling instantly && unreasonably annoyed but it didn’t change a thing about themselves to show it.

       “Keep taken cheap shots at me aye?  Is it about time I tell you?  SHOULD I s p i l l?”  Obviously as they where baiting Montgomery, while they were thinking about what to even say!  That memory was something that Bayden didn’t even tell his sister, regardless of him not believing they were real.  They didn’t want to tell her.  They liked that she didn’t know.  Until the answer came out all on it’s own solving itself.  

       “ TSK. T s k.  Tsk.  You forgot I used to work at Hotel Cortez — && I danced with one hot mamá.  One HOT d r u n k mamá — ” to be fair, if there was someone Bayden would dance with.  They could certainly visualize Bayden doing something that near amusing anyway.  If he locks DJ’s in bathroom’s to heist the music playlist there’s wiggle room to work with here. “ — but don’t go telling MOM t h a t.  That’s just stays between the two of us now. ”  All jokes aside && banter with Montgomery there was a feeling — a feeling that caused the hair on the back of there neck to stand up.  Alarmed by it.

       For a long moment they’re demeaner changed after reaching a certain point with Montgomery as it obviously made them feel the weight of it.  Slowing there steps enough to have them walking side by side, slowly falling a hair behind her so she was in front.  Not sure how to act . . . but they didn’t ignore what they felt && kept a solemnness to them.  Committed to the silence, even it wasn’t what Montgomery was used to.

       They did not know the weight of the danger Bayden was in, but they could understand what they where getting themselves involved.  Only it didn’t stop the skin prickling along there back, as it wouldn’t have made sense to sit somewhere like the front.  Honestly, regardless of them doing it wrong.  They seemed to prefer the backseat.  There could be a lot of Karen’s out there, && being in Bayden’s sister’s car, no doubt would have a lot of EYES on t h e m.  Regardless of having to take a moment to lie down --- holding there breath as they hid the painful soreness erupting from there abdomen until they where flat on there back.  

       Those words rang in Bayden’s brain.  They felt themselves sinking in the backseat as there was no recollection.  There mind was numb && the body fluttered with minor panic.  It’s not something there used to.  The concept of family.  The concept of being raised properly, as it’s easy to tell DR.W a r d e y n loved them in her own way.  There are some holes in there memory right now though they hope to fill in the gaps with Rowan’s casefile sooner or later, but they know, Bayden had it better growing up.

       A reflexive smile reached there lips, as they suppressed a laugh, leaving a groan like sound as it sounded like the struggled not to laugh. “ It’s memories like those Monty that make it all worth it, you know . . . almost as good as . . . my little sister’s company, ice cream, Indian food, && mom scaring the shit out us!  DDAAMMNN.  That’s c o l d.  ICE c o l d that you’d think mom wouldn’t ever trust you with me after that.  It wouldn’t ever be the same without you.” 

#montgomery wardeyn #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

MONTGOMERY WARDEYN.

She was acting overjoyed with the simple gifting.

“Aw. Flowers. Picked fresh and stolen from the yard just for me. Now that’s the BayBay I know. Risking your little bit o’ welfare just for me. Ohhhh. You could have gotten in trouble for this one.”

She held them to her nose as she leaned her head against his shoulder ever so sweetly fawning over it with great dramatics, a sentimental affair like no other.

Pink was her favorite. Absolutely. So that was a win. Rock candy was a golden touch. She almost wondered if Bayden made it himself because that actually seemed like a project he might do in the kitchen, but didn’t ask. She’d check for a store bought label later. He’d pulled out his mother’s credit card at Christmas which was a rare affair of it’s own. It let her know he and their mother were back in good spoiled standing if he was allowed to use it. Monty liked to keep track of these things. Having any access while in lock up was a big deal. So the fact that he did again at Christmas was something Monty noted. It felt like maybe their worlds were getting back to normal after the big blow up and she wondered if it was even possible. Monty saw that as a good sign.

“Thank you. So sweet of you to go out of your way for me. I love how much you love me. I love you too.”

She was leaning there ever so seemingly happy and overjoyed by the whole exchange when her brother changed up attitude on her.

Not in the mood? Fake dance?

If this were on a scene in a show a scratched record sound would have split the scene and brought everything to a halt.

Since when doesn’t her brother want to dance with her on Valentine’s Day?

“Uh oh.”

She hugged him tighter.

“Someone’s holding something in again. What mood? What happened? Talk to me.” Her hand started to pat his tummy. “Who was mean to you this time? I’ll fix them. No dance with my brother will ever be fake.”

Then she looked up from his shoulder right into his face and patted his cheek. “If that doctor mom has griping over you is giving you too much homework again I’ll go give him another good case of dysentery. Give him a high fever. See how he likes seeing things that aren’t there. I’ll get you out of whatever he assigned for at least another week or two and you haven’t even looked at your big basket from me yet.” She turned and pointed at his Valentine’s gift trying to cheer him up.

Monty would in no way believe Bayden meant fake dance as a real jab against her. It was their tradition to do this dance every year. So not doing it would confuse her and make her think something was seriously wrong with Bayden. It would make her worry for him right after such nice gifting which made her believe he and she were fine. So it would lead her to believe something was wrong elsewhere that was dampening his mood.  

Then she tilted her head in the other direction still looking him dead on in the face thinking of him wanting to hurry along home. “Or is this about mother?” She smoothed the hair around his ears. “I got you all worried about her now mentioning the gin, didn’t I? She’s a grown up Bay. She’ll be okay. She’s made it this far. Stay present. Right now’s about me, what you gave me, and how much I love you for that, and how I got a basket full of all your faaaaaaaaaaavorites. Come on. You love dancing. All you ever do is whine there’s no real girls here to dance with. Come on. You made up this tradition and told me I would be an evil witch and wanted to curse me green with warts if ever I refused. Remember? No way I’m letting you out of it now if I have to puppeteer you myself, just in case you suddenly get a burst of unused bottled magic. I’m not letting that be the first spell that casts out of you.”

She laughed trying to lighten Bayden up, but she was serious. Later bloomers with magic were sometimes known to happen.    

( @montywonmom​ )

       BAYDEN’S sisters current state was a privilege she took for granted.

       Watching as they continued to c o o over her little surprise’s, as the least they can say is Bayden’s sister looked overjoyed with such simple gifts.  Literally had to execute the risk they had to put in to the gift out loud.  It didn’t take much to entertain herself, which was a small blessing considering the circumstances of having to live, breathe, && act as BAYDEN W a r d e y n.

       The dramatics, the act of sentimental affairs, no wonder Bayden was confused at times.  It was like Bayden understood his sister was a WACK-j o b, but they could see why it was a battle to distinguish what’s reality && what’s easier to look the other way because they were tied by blood.  Not fully, but still tied && anchored to one another by DR. W a r d e y n at least.  Especially when his issues flare up, the definition of what’s real && what’s not has it’s own emotional toll.

       “I’m glad you like it.”  They replied genuinely relieved that they passed the test, putting there arm around her shoulder, giving her the faintest of a side embrace.  Every second counted && they didn’t want to linger to long, not sure what MONTGOMERY W a r d e y n was made of.  Pulling away in mere seconds lazily, as they still had to act a little like Bayden, The Older Brother.

       Despite the scratch-record misgivings, they stayed silent glad it wasn’t a full fire-works of dramatics from Montgomery.  They couldn’t run from a psychopath’s whims.  But if they could avoid it, then they’ll face it head-on. There's no way it's going to get the better of them.  It just wasn’t going to happen.

       Reflexively grasping Montgomery’s elbow gently halting her from touching Bayden’s stomach, releasing her elbow effortlessly.  The sheer soreness from vigorous military's muscular strength they spent time doing to build Bayden's endurance trials, && to test Bayden’s own endurance through insomnia-esque late nights.  

       Gaining hope, or some traction to achieve lighter dosages on certain pills in his plethora of pills Bayden takes on the daily.  Performing for six consecutive nights, resting completely one day per week.  Has it helped?  No.  All there was to show for all that effort was a lame 6 pack, && a lot of there time wasted in Bayden.  Girls where just very different from boys.

       Bayden’s face twisted into a scowl.  “Why does it matter if I don’t feel like dancing?  Fake.  Not fake.  Can’t we just not do it this year.”

       Sighing, as they frowned.  Wondering how close Bayden really was to Montgomery.  They can’t say they knew everything about Bayden to act like him, if this was some moment to be vulnerable or not, but it seems from listening to her babble on what she think’s is happening, his younger sister also carried on the weird trait in the WARDEYN f a m i l y.  The only normal one, out of the three to choose from was DR. W a r d e y n. For now . . .  Anything can happen with this damn family.

       “You really aren’t going to stop until you get something out of me?”  

       Rolling there eyes, they couldn’t listen to Montgomery anymore.  As much as they couldn’t take the little touches, from the fact she tried to touch his stomach to the way she’d brush down the sides of his hair.

       “I appreciate your concern Monty, I really do, but there’s nothing to talk about.  I’m just feeling overwhelmed && anxious about something going on in my personal life.  Thanks for offering to help, but I think I need to work through this on my own for now.” 

        “Monty!  Someone drowns in a tub nearly every day in America-”  taking on a serious tone, obviously, that was the que, placing there hands underneath Montgomery’s arms && easily lifting her off there lap placing her down beside them as they where getting up. 

       “-BuT nOt ToDaY sAtAn!  Not my mom. No sir.”  As the amount of sass, && effort to make that so cringe was worth it.

       Placing there hands in there pockets as they where already walking off.  

       “Stay present?  Girrrl, we gotta get you outa here.  Nobody has time to dance in a Asylum when Prince Charming’s waiting for the worst Valentines of his life.  The earlier the better.  So the paramedics can make it on time, you know Monty?  You’re Valentine’s date doesn’t know he’s going to be an organ donor by the end of date.”  A dramatic whistle.

       “It’s all fun && games until you start playing sports sis.  Why mom’s staying with me tonight.  She get’s it.” 

       Not bothering to illuminate or fabricate the gifts Montgomery got for Bayden mattered, because in a way, they didn’t.  Because in some way Montgomery was worried about the wrong things.

       “Oh, by the way Monty.  This might come as a shock to you, but I’ve danced with a real girl before.  Words can't describe.”  

       What a tweaker she was!  A tweaker && a drunk on Valentines Day. Odd to say they missed Bayden right then && there.  Only what there putting Bayden through, the real Bayden, they didn’t deserve it.  Much how Rowan didn’t deserve it either.  There friendship was probably to far gone even if they found a way to fix things.  

#montgomery wardeyn #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

MONTGOMERY WARDEYN.

When Monty showed up for her Valentine’s Day visit for her brother she entered with a big over zealous and over dramatic hug for him. She set a ginormous basket of decandant candies and chocolates from all over the world down first. Then she smothered him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day brother of mine. Your Valentine has arrived. Aren’t you happy now? Cherish it now before you get stuck with mother all night. She’s already in the bathtub gin. Good luck with that.”

“I know I’m the best thing that ever happened to you and the highlight of your day. I’m the blessing of your life. You don’t even have to say it. I know you’ll never have a real girl out there for a Valentine but I got all prettied up, just for our dance. Don’t carry on how I’m better than another girl because I’ll never leave you like you always do, but it is true. I never will. Never, ever, EVER. Okay, I have a date after dropping you off with mom, but it’s for you too. She’s making me play shadow caddy. Ew. But, I love, uv you, wuv you.”  

Then she’d back up and do a little spin for him so he could see her dress all in pale pink lace. It was something designer though the real Bayden rarely called these things out, just told her she looked so pretty.

“Now where is it? Before we dance. Show me what little drawing or confection you’ve whipped up for me this year. Is it a poem? A song? Gimme, gimme.” Then she plopped herself right into his lap like an ever so close space invading sister might. “What quaint little BayBay way have you chosen to honor me this year?”

( @montywonmom​ )

       MONTGOMERY W a r d e y n buzzed around like she’d guzzled every drop of espresso.  Her actions were downright condescending like a Katy Perry parody video.  && they finally understood where Bayden’s arrogance stems from: that. 

       Dozen’s of times they had rehearsed Monty’s return in there head — the dramatic embrace, the exacting chosen gifts pattern last’s Christmas greetings.  They’re own breath felt tight, as if the walls were pressing in being constricted by something as dangerous as a python hugging them back weakly.  

       “ Happy Valentine’s Day, little sister. ”  A spin off of Montgomery’s own words used.  Only they didn’t look happy about Monty’s statement about DR.W a r d e y n.  The mama boy’s persona.  It was easy to show how they truly felt on the inside. A fiery scowl that felt like it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

       The more && more time they spent with Montgomery, in Bayden’s body the more his sister reminded them of Mother Gothel.  Only it’s the sibling addition Instead of listening through it, Monty’s voice began to sound tiny && helium high-pitched, as far away as an echo.

       If Bayden was meant to be controlled, that idjit would have come with a mother fucking remote.  But guess what?  He’s is own person.  What did his own sister really know about him?  It’s worse that his own sister didn’t even think about the concept of him ever falling in love.

       Could be a thing someday!  Anything was possible, but if it didn’t revolve around her, she wouldn’t notice.  He is a qualified person.  Not bothering to listen much after that, thus they lose more brain cells in the process.  Not quite looking to happy && keeping there thoughts to themselves.

       Only to be re-awakened into the moment when Monty sat on there lap.  Who did she think they were?  Jolly old St. Nicholas.  Wasn’t she a little to old to be sitting on his brother’s lap like this.  It was a high level of uncomfortable-ness, as she needed to leave room for the holy spirit.

       Not that they even believed in the holy spirit!  But damn girl give some space.  “ It’s not much. “ Taking a small bundle of daffodils — wrapped in yarn to hold it together ( god forbid the string nurse would come back again knowing Bayden’s luck ).  Freshly picked from the Asylum Grounds.

       Pink lemonade rock candy.  Though they couldn’t match Bayden's real skill of CHEF B o y b a y d e n style.  This was still food-relative?  Also re-using the cupcakes they made for them would have been safe, but let’s face it.  The calories consumption of a cupcake ( 131+ c. ) vs. rock candy ( 15 - 50 c. ).  

      It would be a waste to give them to her if she would just throw them away in the end.  Only now they had to try to finish things quickly between them.  As they didn’t want to stay anymore longer than they should.  “ Monty I’m not in the mood right now to stick around, fake a dance, so let’s JUST l e a v e.”

#montgomery wardeyn #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.    

They tried to make the story as short and simple as possible without traumatizing themselves all over again just by saying it all out loud. They live it every day. How much worse could it really get?

Monty was not killing her own kind for power. Bayden didn’t mean to insinuate that. But, it wasn’t hard to see with the limited clues where one might jump to such an idea. Monty was her own power, her own entity, her own monstrosity. She didn’t need to steal anyone else’s. Celeste inside Bayden’s body would learn that soon enough by her regular visits. Bayden’s one and only visitor, always.

That was where the conversation started to head butt. The real Celeste’s refusal to attempt acting. The real Bayden knew his life would be destroyed if she couldn’t pull it off. Simple as that. So it was time to start practicing for the Oscars. They’re in the Academy now like it or not. That’s how the real Bayden saw it because the real Bayden would sooner murder his body with her in it before he let her destroy his precious mother’s feelings for him. Those were the thoughts going through the real Bayden’s head. That’s exactly how fragile their friendship was right now. He wanted a friend bad but, it wasn’t worth his mother.

“You can’t make it better, Celestis…er…Bayden… whatever. I didn’t ask you to make it better. I asked you to not fuck it up. That’s all I ask of you. Don’t fuck up my life. I don’t give a shit what you think of it. It’s mine. Okay? It’s mine.”

Then the other suggested they run, they leave all this behind. They even suggest they’d be able to come back at any time. This was a complete turn around from where the new Bayden stood moments ago. The fake Bayden was being so contrary like nothing was possible and everything too hard to accomplish, so full of nonsensical plans. Now they were suddenly all in for the real Bayden to just up and leave, live, like they’d take care of everything. Don’t even worry about it. They got this.

The real Bayden stood there inside Rowan’s body and had to wonder why. Was their story that sad to create that big of a turn around in attitude? Was their life that pathetic? They supposed it was.

“I don’t know.” They said softly. “Two seconds ago you didn’t want to be me. Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? I hear Admiral Ackbar in my head warning me  its a trap.”  

Then the reality of their own doubts came out. “Annnnnd…. what if Mom’s right? What if my doctor’s right? I’m not ready for that. I can’t handle…. out there. I can’t handle the out there.”

Ah good ol’ Briarcliff brainwashing at work. It was still very fresh in their head whether they had a new body or not. Hello almost phobias and fears he never even had before his escape attempt and the big hotel incident. He’d even mention it.

“They won’t even recognize me at the hotel.” That’s all the further his head even dreamed of running anymore. He had no real dreams, just death wishes with the ghosts of the hotel. “I can’t really go out there.” They were already talking themselves out of it after getting all cocky with her about leaving earlier.

“I mean let’s get real here. What’s really going to happen is I’m going to have to go back to your house which is now my house, masturbate, go through your things, and wait for this body to recharge it’s guitar until we can switch back and hope my real life doesn’t get too fucked up in the meantime.”    

      IT was s h o r t but none of that was simple.  Neither one of them had SIMPLE in t h e m.  && they felt like they weren’t sure if they made things worse or better.  Deep down they won’t know if Bayden will turn out like Rowan.

      Disgusting.  The same feeling they get when they see Rowan turning them into an instagram influencer.  Or if they had to choose between Disney or Bayden’s sister . . . They both sound quite terrible && there not even sure which one to choose because both are horrendous.  Worse?  It’s not just sitting still && look’en pretty.  They began to try to remember how many times his sister actually visited Bayden!  Only thinking seemed to be the hardest thing in this body.  It sometimes felt foggy, or that they had tar for brains.  The drugs in Bayden’s system is something they where going to have to work with.

      The plan is simple.  DEPRESSED B a y d e n.  Isolation.  Isolation.  Isolation.  His level of MAMA b o y could be felt all the way to mars.  It didn’t take magic to read && sense that from where they sat beside each other.  Was it there goal to destroy his relationship with his mother?  No.  Not on purpose, but if his mother goes down some memory lane or Bayden wasn’t clear that they had a Norma Louise && Norman Bates relationship.

      By all means KILL FIRST ask q u e s t i o n s  l a t e r.  Please.  Can’t say they could pull that off.  Porno’s are not the best guides on how-to’s.  Bayden already rejected them twice.  They don’t believe themselves enough that they could pull that one off sincerely with there inexperience.  As Bayden they also had a load to work on.  Examples: addressing his mom right.  Mom? Mother? Mama? Ma? Dr.Wardeyn?  Blanked out.  More likely will ask them that question tomorrow.  Along with learning the notes on his hippie guitar lifestyle - they feel that’s important as they have no idea how to play an instrument like that.  Never heard him play it, but imagen’s Bayden plays the guitar at the pace of something like The Byrds - Turn Turn Turn guitar style.

     Practice studying deer if they can, drawing deer && seeing it was possible to read about MOTHER && s o n relationship articles to try to understand what it means to even have that kind of relationship.  Read a lot of Dr. Wardeyn’s articles.  There are probably a lot of hints to help to keep up with things Bayden knows personally that might not cross there mind.  Birthdays.  Full names.  Stuff they can’t think about right now but would come in handy later.  101 questions && they’ll ask them another time.  It’s already stressful to move && get adjusted in Bayden’s body.

      Celestis? What a dumb name.  Wait.  ??!!  Was that there name?! They felt rusty hinges screeching like an animal in pain, echoing through them a painful headache.  Raising there hands as if this was a ceasefire.  Anything they would have said would have them upset.  A lot has been said.  Along with a lot has been done.  Both emotionally adjusting into the other’s body.  There friendship right now, was more like a barn blazing inferno with flames stretching well above its crumbling roof.  There’s a chance it could become a wildfire.  Careful not to turn it into one.  “Fine.”

      “Let’s just say the money lasts you three weeks ROWAN.”  Seeing it in a bigger picture.  

      “It only means the d e m o n s in the backyard are put on a tight leash.”  With a closed fist held with the thumb extended they’d point over there shoulder behind them.  Obviously indicating the deformed creatures they saw that got them in this trouble in the first place.  

      “I doubt my mother would have the TIME of d a y to really visit or notice with how she’d have to stay busy handling things.”  Ewe.  Kind of foreign && gross saying it like that but if they were going formal better start now? Maybe correct them on the title of address to his mother.

      Publicity was publicity && obviously a stunt like this would be a first ever written journalized of an escapee.  Since they were recently involved in being questioned by the police.  Which would make more opportunity for funding from the city.  Benefitting political powers like the Mayor keeping dangers like Rowan off the streets of there town && small-minded Hollywood somebodies fund mental health issues because that’s just so kind of themselves!  With Dr. Wardeyn being a single mom of two.  With her history rep. in the medical work force rich idiots love a strong-willed mother making the world a better place for there own kids.

      With so much going on && the cops involved the visitations from Monty would be called off whilst being investigated && questioned again about knowing Rowan’s whereabouts.  They already knew that they never really thought they were real anyway play-by-play.  Might as well still use that to there own advantage as Bayden.  They didn’t think they had to explain it any further than that.  

      “It’s not uncommon of yourself to RUN.  I think you’re the only person who can pull it off R o w a n.”  Because they already have pulled it off && then came back.  They’d know they get stuck here a million more light years . . .  That kind of stunt would really put them at a disadvantage of getting out to find the real Rowan.  But it would make big waves && it would keep what Bayden wanted.  His life the way he wanted it.

      Not even sure anymore if finding the real Rowan was worth it.  Was it?  After tonight there was a lot to process, but one of them was: What now?  The idea sent painful shivers through there body.  There soul purpose was to swap back with Rowan, now it felt like Bayden but in all honesty?  No where to go.  Maybe they just didn’t know what they wanted to live for either.  Putting it in the back of there mind for now as they had all night to think about it.

      But with them being away.  They just take on being DEPRESSED B a y d e n.  Stay in between the lines, but not get caught being the fake. 7 days. 14 days. Or just 21 days.

      Brush everyone off except Clarissa.  Being alone isolated would also help them figure out how to fix all this.  The meds where in the way to swap them back.  Regardless of if Dr.Unger got her in through a favor or Dr. Wardeyn naturally selected the challenge of having her admitted.  

      It wouldn’t surprise them now that Bayden’s dropped what this place really was.  Dr. Wardeyn would have a plan already set up for when they actually ran away.

      “If anyone could pull it OFF.  I’m afraid it would be y o u.”  A tint of envy in there vocals.  Annoyed by the fact they had to actually admit that out loud, but the real Bayden themselves knew this place a lot more than they did.  Of course they felt bad for Bayden.  The realization of his timeline.  He did what he did to leave && then all that he had done turns up he did it for nothing some what pissed them off.  Not that they will ever say it.  It sucks to care.  They should have learned there lesson the first time with the actual Rowan.  Caring for someone always ended in betrayal.

      “Yea. Well knowing me is a trap.  I trapped you in a different body.  Where was Admiral Ackbar when that happened!”

      What. In. The. Fuck?  

      Taking one giant inhale only to hold it in what they wanted to say.  They can touch back later.  FUN f a c t:  Bayden talked about all these things he couldn’t do.  There was so much to the world then just Hotel  Cortez.  That place was toxic for Bayden, but they had no room to talk because Texas was toxic to themselves.  

      Bayden reminded them of a cross of Snow White && that other Disney Princess.  What was that one Princess with mommy issues?  Don’t remember the name but there’s not anything special about her or anything that stands out in her personality, the really bland one?  Snow White && the really bland one with super long blond hair.  It drew blanks because half the time they all annoyed her.  There’s not enough support to unravel that kind of damage in him immediately.

      “Guess we both have one thing were both thinking tonight.” Somewhat sarcastic as there was scoff of amusement.  Honestly once Nurse Janet GOES a w a y.  Far. Far away.  Ain’t want nothing to do with all that.  Pretty sure there hypothesis as masturbating as a guy is much easier than when she is a girl.

       They kept all the sketchbooks of Bayden.  Along with some of his clothes - the ones they keenly noticed they wore a lot more than the others.  Kept a few other minor things like the Valentine cards, some of the corona airplane letters, what ever they could get there hands on that seemed important to them.  

       “You’re stuff is in the closet piled in the very back corner.”  

       “Oh, && a chocolate bar in the desk is for you. It’s painted white with cross bones on it.  You can’t miss it.”  Obviously, they had to cover the wrapper && drew over the logo.  They wouldn’t actually know how to explain the logo on the chocolate bar.  The brand just doesn’t exist within this reality as they used Rowan’s ability to read it out of a book.  Found it a little hard to explain how they got a Wonka Bar.  But it was a pretty nice idea for a welcome back gift that failed in it’s own way.

       “Take you’re damn food too!  Can’t stand cold food.  I can’t recall the statistics of starvation but I know it’s bad!”  Just trying to take a step back from the obvious problems in front of them.  Tonight was over to them.  They didn’t want to think about anything anymore.  They were going to have so much to think about tonight that where going to make themselves go insane.

#rowan delacour #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

☪ —— Holly Jolly Season.

       THANKFULLY during the holly jolly season THEY didn’t have to meet with the W a r d e y n family during Christmas.  Thank goodness for that.  They did not think that far ahead, && was already stuck with Bayden’s nightmare of a sister.

       The perks of being them during the holly jolly season would be seeing/staying in Bayden’s bedroom!  Exploring through his room, && being nosey.  Three words: what a dork.

        Though after everything Bayden && themselves went through recently.  Bayden was sort of an animal lover.  Though they can’t say the same for themselves.  Animals never really liked them.  But it did stick with them.  Remembering the loss of Freckles the Horse && how it impacted Bayden.  They know that there is nothing that could ever replace Freckles.  But what Bayden doesn’t know during DECEMBER && that they didn’t t e l l him.  They won’t tell them until after they figure out how to swap back.  When nosing around the attic they found a fish tank with a working pump.  Next thing they did was buy a ‘Mystery Betta Fish’ online that turned out to be a Black Orchid Betta, a fake log, filters, betta food, a fish heater && an automatic fish feeder.  Betta’s are one of the few low maintained fish to take care off.  So it’s actually fine for Bayden to be gone long periods of time.  Since things have been pretty rough since Freckles Death.  

       They hope they get to go home at least every month && a half to change the fish filter.  && every three months change the water.  Able to live up to 6+ years it might not be the animal of his dreams but it’s actually something that sits on his nightstand now.  Currently nameless.  They are planning to let Bayden actually name it when he personally discovers it.  Using Bayden’s mom’s money, but didn’t feel an ounce of guilt doing it when they did it.  But no one can take it away from him?  && they guess that is why they did it.  Unless his mom or sister pours bleach in the tank killing it.  It also gives him a reason to go back home, regardless if it’s only for a few hours.  It could be comforting, && though comforting means two very different things to the other.  Sometimes they think Bayden needs it more.  Also he could keep his sketchbooks there.  Might be wiser than holding on to them like before.

[saltyxtides]

Silly Symphony - The Goddess of Spring (1934)

#bayden tags

[saltyxtides]

eat your heart out

#drawing tag

[saltyxtides]

deer sketch

#drawing tag

[saltyxtides]

What dwells in the glade

#drawing tag

[saltyxtides]

BEING BAYDEN.

☪ —— 001.

ISOLATION.  I s o l a t i o n.  Isolation.  If there is one thing they have been doing is staying out of TROUBLE && out of s i g h t.  They may do what’s expected of them from the daily routine/schedule, but when it comes down to it they have been avoiding the community room, && nearly everyone else since the swap but Clarissa.

☪ —— 002.

WHEN it comes to Clarissa, there is a bit of an effort they spend about 15-20 minutes with her after Lunch, && it’s usually just them playing around the piano.  Making an effort, but also explaining to Clarissa that they needed some space.

☪ —— 003.

WHEN it comes to Dr. Wardeyn  — Jude Wardeyn — Bayden’s Mom — M o m?  Never having a role model like parents, or any mother from what they remember.  Taking an interest, they have been doing research.  Getting Dr. Wardeyn’s science articles printed out.  Hopefully, somewhere around the Asylum someone’s got to have biography books, written books, anything about Dr. Wardeyn that they could borrow/get there hands on.  They have been doing some research, they are trying to view Bayden’s Mom as a human that also carries trauma buried deep inside of them, regardless of there own personal feelings ( especially the explanation of Bayden’s life ).  Trying to put Dr. Wardeyn on a parental pedestal.  Yet they are very NERVOUS && w o r r i e d they are going to mess things up, because it means a lot to Bayden..

☪ —— 004.

STAYING away from Rowan ( Bayden ) as much as they can since the swap.  There is a lot of ANGRY/h u r t emotions spiraling through them.  It’s not an excuse but, they are angry at Bayden.  The original Rowan didn’t understand, BUT neither did Bayden.  Because if Bayden did, they know that they guarded themselves && had a hard time trusting others.  But they trusted Bayden, && that was special.  Yet Bayden kept calling her “Rowan” && it got complicated.  They can’t believe they thought Bayden was different.  When Bayden’s around in Rowan’s body they act civil, but it’s pretty clear there presence is constantly not there like it was before.  Isolating themselves.  If Rowan ( Bayden ) needed to find them they know where to look.  + the Monty stuff.  && his own mother.  It leaves marks && questions that they have to find out themselves.

☪ —— 005.

BEING in Bayden isn’t as easy as it seems.  In honesty, they have come to understand why Bayden hosts himself in Rowan’s body.  It’s a different world for him.  

Auditory&Parasitosis Delusions happen a lot — they hear random sounds  — && see things they have no control over ( eyes, maggots, ants, snakes, spiders, cockroaches && scorpion-moths  )

Hypnagogic Hallucinations, ect.

☪ —— 006.

They also have to change the way they draw.  It’s not exactly as easy as one would think.  Though the Deer they have been drawing are parasitic.  Sick/Ill.  Rabied.  Dead && covered in mushrooms.

Deer they are studying:

Schomburgk Deer

Megaloceros

Eucladoceros

☪ —— 007.

Avoiding Nurse Janet like the plague.  Deep rooted Depression.  Go away.  DEEP ROOTED DEPRESSION EVERYONE GO AWAY.

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.  

It was probably best they ignored everything anyhow. The real Bayden didn’t seem to think the real Celestis was contributing much of substance at the moment anyhow.

“That is exactly what all your option plans would do. Ruin everything with my family. When you hear my life. You’ll get it a little better. But, fine. I get it. Tune the guitar. Gotta heal or train or whatever before we can get back to normal. I’ve told you many times. I’m not stupid. I can understand things if you just say them normal instead of trying to overcomplicate everything all the time. Sometimes less is more. If anyone needs to learn that lesson, it is you.”

That was their big constructive criticism for the day and compliment at the same time because she finally managed to condense a little more than normal.  

Then he looked across at her and she wasn’t a she. She was a he. She was him literally, his very own face. That took some getting used to.

Start where they felt comfortable. Whenever they were ready. Ugh. They’d known each other for so long. It was so weird to finally be giving the actual details, but they couldn’t live like this if she didn’t get what she was involved in now. They had to spill it all. They suddenly felt like they were going to vomit.

“Okay. I’m going to. I’m just. Okay.”

How to start?

“I’m just going to try and take my own advice and try to make this as simple as possible. Get it all out there. Fill in the details after. Maybe yeah. We’ll see.”

They were breathing weird just thinking about it all.

“Okay here goes. My sister is the Horrorville Hacker. She killed all those people back then. Mom hid the bodies. I was set up to take the fall because she never liked me. I thought it was because I wasn’t a girl with power like Monty. I couldn’t get in that stupid coven she wanted to get in herself so bad, but she didn’t have powers either. The rest of the family does. It skipped Mom. Just unlucky I guess. Monty was everything Mom wanted to be. The perfect daughter. But it wasn’t because I was a boy or didn’t have power. I was never wanted just some accident of rape okay?”

Their face screwed up and they looked away as they said it. It was not exactly the sort of thing they ever told anyone actually, so trying to get them to understand their family dynamics was difficult.

“I don’t belong on this fucking earth. I shouldn’t fucking exist and it started to make sense at that point why Monty got everything bigger and better and blah. So, when I found out the truth of who I was all I ever thought about was my father who I didn’t know, never met, never named. But, I found out. Long story short. When I found out I killed him. So, I deserve to be prison. I do. I’m a murderer. I may not be the Horrorville Hacker serial killer but I killed that mother fucker dead for what he did to my mom and what he did to my life, this stupid life I didn’t ask for.”

Their eyes were getting emotional.

“So um... when they set me up to take the fall for those murders I didn’t care. Fuck it. I knew I deserved to be here anyway. No one’s ever finding his body I promise you that and I am not sorry and if this is my penance so be it and Mom knows I see it that way. Yeah, she knows because in the start I didn’t even know my mom knew it was my sister who was doing it. I thought she set up this whole program and paid for all these fancy lawyers to get me into this mental place instead of prison because she could get me here with her. Basically this whole program is bullshit for other patients. It was created literally just for me to not go to prison and keep me near my mom. The rest is filler. Your treatment is bullshit and pays for their lifestyle. I was wrongfully accused. Monty had a future. I didn’t. I’m sick anyway. I’m a fucking loser. Fuck it. At least she could take care of me. Better me than Monty.

“How wrong I was. Monty still does crazy shit like this to this day. Mom’s still covering her tracks, burying bodies. It’s been years. They’re just better at it. She comes in and visits me and tells me all about it. I’m her brother. She loves me. I’ve given her a free life. She owes everything to me taking this one for the fam so she can be Mommy’s perfect little girl and I want her to be that. Mom should have that. But, she’s got Monty, so close enough. It’s what’s she’s got.

“But listen to this. When mom found out I killed he rapist, my father, whatever you want to call that motherfucker, everything changed. I think I started to become her favorite. Monty was causing all this stress. She kept promising to stop the chaos and it just kept happening. Mom always playing damage control. Then she’s got me. Her sweet boy who avenged her and sits pretty to keep her real daughter safe. I start making her rich with this program. You make fun of Princess Bayden but I earned that spot on that throne. My mom has broken down crying apologizing for all of this. She takes care of me and I take of her.

“Things aren’t as cut and dry as they look around here. We can’t just back out and tell the truth. She doesn’t deserve that. Monty’s in control. I just want to keep my family together. At least... sometimes. Sometimes I want to run the fuck away and never come back. But, where would I go?” They shrugged. “I shouldn’t fucking exist anyway.”

That felt like enough of the story to soak in so far. Let them process on that.

“But see? Switching bodies with anyone else would put everyone in the wrong position to do their jobs here in the cover up and continued serial killing and witch entrapping. I’m in here so Monty can be out there growing stronger. She has supreme potential. All the coven leaders say it.”

Witch entrapping.

They’d let that one linger too.

       THIS was about Bayden, more than it was about themselves.  The only thing they had to lose, was well, there l i f e.  Maybe . . . they didn’t want to think about the theory Leo left behind what felt like decades ago since they met before they came here.  The years have certainly gone by so fast that they didn’t realize how long they’ve really been in the Asylum.  Honestly, they were doing GOOD, up until n o w.  && instead of arguing with Bayden anymore, or digging a bigger grave for themselves with the disarray chaos in front of them making things evidently worse.  

       “FINE.” As if they would take what they said in mind.  While it’s not a matter of s t u p i d, they never really thought Bayden was that, but a matter of how much his family keeps Bayden in the dark.  Not that they themselves help in that matter.  To much or to little they weren’t sure how to go about expressing it.  It’s also worse. . . processing it all in this body of Bayden’s.  It’s much harder to think, as much as it was harder to function.  Bayden’s NAIVE-n e s s was not stupid.

       ‘ Take a picture it will last longer PRINCESS, ’ it was like the words wanted to come out, as it was on the tip of there tongue as they felt Bayden stare at them like a object.  Holding it in.  Hazy as there memories where, they tried a kinder approach, getting a sense none of the transfer between them was easy.  Taking Bayden’s hand instead they gently pushed Rowan softly on the shoulder.  Hopefully breaking the stare down, before they concentrated too hard && who knows what magical accident would happen.

       No defense against a Witch with a spell at the tip of her tongue, or a little witch that doesn’t know the telekinetic prowess they hold.  Thankfully only one of them vomited.  So kudos to Bayden’s inner-will.  Unlike Bayden, they purged.  It shows it’s never really easy to talk about the past.  Only now that they were forgetting, they were feeling empty in some way, as if the past would fill the emptiness regardless of how bad it was.  Leaning back, propping themselves up on there elbows.  Preparing themselves.  Not sure what was going to be said.

      The visage of Bayden looked really upset.  They kept running one of there hands through black hair && shook there head a little.  Listening.  It was a lot to take in.  Being in the process of another person’s body, it took longer to process with. . .disabilities Bayden had.  It was harder to process it all quickly.

       Death.

       Murder.

       Rape.

       A boy that loves his family regarding the rot && ruin.  Clinging on to it too.

       Breaking News.

       Bayden deserved better.

       It all felt sensitive to talk about - felt like some they ought to keep a lot of it to themselves.  After all, they cared for Bayden immensely && already knew though there friendship was six feet deep underground && dying.  They didn’t need to push them into the grave itself.  Pointing out his sister.  The flaws.  The irresponsibility.  Potential was just a nice way to say Monty was SPECIAL.  Breaking down the idea of false potential his sister really had.  It would be like arguing about Dracula.  He’s not after Lucy to offer his eternal, undying love && devotion.  

       He wants to drink her dry - an ocean of blood wouldn’t have satisfied his thirst.  Where Monty stood, there was blood in the sand, && if she was killing her own kind for power . . . It’s only going to be a matter of time before reality sinks in.  She’s no different then a modern day Dracula, just a copy cat of someone else in a different form.  Being the next Coven Supreme is already predetermined by nature itself, It’s not something someone can truly steal away, fake, even someone like themselves couldn’t steal it forever.

       Not that they would.  They also couldn’t bring the fact even if Monty made it.  The DEATH would never s t o p.  The killings would keep happening.  It’s something that’s going to follow her until the CULT members turns on the f a l s e  l e a d e r.  Once they figure out there own are dying, && Monty kills the wrong Witch.  If Bayden had strong family ties, then one day Monty is going to meet someone with those same && strong family/best friend/lovers values ready to unravel the truth.  A riot will begin.  Figuring out the truth && the whole truth.

       Killing one another in the process.  It gave them to much of a headache to consider the aftermath.  The once upon a time fear what they could truly lose.  The body they might have been born from, if there not already dead.  Or on Monty’s soon to be list. Monty could be compared to a modern day Dracula in many ways, though they still saw them as an overgrown turkey.  In the end of all this?  They didn’t need to destroy Bayden.  They just needed to be with him for support?  As they’ll have a lot of time to think about Dr. Wardeyn. . .

       “I’m sorry,” They said soberly, as that wasn’t very comforting finally finding the power to talk.  “I don’t have any answers about how to make any of this better, Bayden.”

       “All I know is that we are here.  We exist.”  Even if it’s messed up.

       “You can leave!  Run away from all this, go be Rowan Delacour.  You’re a Delacour now.  Nnn.  You’re in Rowan’s body anyway.  You can LITERALLY go a n y w h e r e.”  && yet still stay in the same place all at once.  Not that it’ll help them understand.  The Bloodline in a Witch, or the body he inhabits can take him literally anywhere he’s ever dreamed through books.  Perhaps not in the way they imagine freedom would be, but Bayden would find out sooner or later, after they adjust, && with guidance when there ready.

       A Magical Historian.  Not that they ever adjusted to that one type set.  They missed there own talents, && the comfort of there own body.  But it’s complicated.  Doubting.  Falling in a spiral of loss, as if, gravity was setting in && making it feel it was a nearly impossible feat.  A part of them realized, with the truth underneath Bayden’s words.  It’s kind of a Doll House Community. . . Now there was even more pressure in realizing: Just a plaything or a Body to experiment with.  

       Only when there in the right body. . . but even then how do they even know when tides turn. . .

       “But there’s no shame in you deserting this place Bayden.  You know where to find yourself.  It’s not like I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon you do know that right?”  Grounding themselves, they just have to play the role of Bayden from memory.  “You’ve lived your entire life in a bubble.  In here.  Things happen for a reason, maybe you should consider the chance you have now.  To escape it for a while.”  

       “While I’m being you.”

       “Not destroying your life’s work.”

#rowan delacour #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

       NO one said this year was - well the best year between the two of them.  It was a little more rocky than normal but they were working things out.  They had too.  With the two of them being in the other one’s body, there was a lot to think about between the layers of the truth of the matter of being at the Asylum’s program.  They had to give Dr. Wardeyn some props making a Doll House community for Bayden.  But a WITCH in the m i x was probably not in her plans.  Especially when it affected her son.  Feeling confused of there own goals in life, && a little bit of everything in between as gaps lost in the memories of there own was eating at them.

       Even when or if they get in Rowan’s body there’s plenty of damage already bubbling to the surface.  Program wise.  Worse?  Accidently almost stepping the note on Bayden’s doorstep.  Drats.  Having daddy long legs && spaghetti arms never helped!  Reaching down they read the note, brushing fingers through there hair as it seemed almost normal between them.  Almost.  Totally kindergarten ew out by the ‘Love you’ as they were going to sharpie that part out.  GROSS.  Forcing themselves not to smile.

       Though they took the letter && the color page inside.  Deep down they didn’t know much about deer like Bayden, as they had to change the way they drew because of it.  Copying parts of the deer for reference && practices.  However, taped on the door on Jan.1st, the coloring page would be vibrantly colored for Rowan to see:

Bayden didn’t have a lot of access this year. He didn’t have a lot joy. He had a lot confusion being body switched with the only person he called friend besides a mute girl in this facility. He loved drawing deer. Stags. So Reindeer were going to be on his highlight list come Christmas. There was in a coloring book in the art therapy room he’d been saving just for himself. All for himself. He’d hid it so no one else could find it until he was ready. Maybe it felt silly giving her a blank coloring book page for Christmas but it meant a lot to him. He still couldn’t decide if he angry or thankful for this switch because she was making it so complicated, but she saved his artwork when they cleared out his assisted living cottage. He didn’t have much in life of meaning left anymore. It was all he had. So Bayden put it on her doorstep, his doorstep actually. So many gifts they’d exchanged over the years but this one really pulled at his heart strings and it wasn’t even his heart beating in his chest anymore. It was so strange. The note he’d leave would be a little sassy, oh so Bayden, despite his outer shell. 

Merry Christmas. 

I’d been saving this one. I figured the only way I could really enjoy it is let you color it or it wouldn’t really be me at all. Eff you body snatcher. 

Love you. 

The snatched. 

#montywonmom

[saltyxtides]

[ Unfortunately, like every year they never truly ever had any access to anything - the only talents they ( Celestis in Bayden’s body ) had was only one thing && one thing only - Yarn.       Placed in Rowan’s mailbox this year was a card they made nicely packed in blue made envelope with a card of a popping polar bear saying: ‘ Hold on for deer life! ‘ for his love of deer, && a bit of play on the fact he was holding on for dear life in another person’s body in a fun kind of messed up joking kind of way. Underneath the card would be a grey antler yarn hat, that would be all matchy-matchy with Clarissa’s adorable antler one && a crochet pencil shark/pen case that matched the rules to this caged scam they ( Celestis ) were in. ]

[ A nice sized crochet doll of Clarissa with a handheld black kitty accessory with antlers that have the same shade of blue as Bayden’s.  With was suppose to be matching antler’s to Bayden. . . but they passed it on to the REAL B a y d e n because that’s just a big nah.  Originally suppose to be all matchy-matchy with the real Bayden but it just didn’t work out. ]

[ Being Bayden, meant they had to play the part, but what do people get mothers?  What do you buy with Bayden mums money?  They have no idea!  What do mum’s really like, as they can’t recall if they ever had one or not . . . but none the less his mom’s card did get charged.  The FIRST g i f t they bought Bayden’s mum came a little early, as it came the day before Christmas Eve so all her employee’s get to see the very big mystery bouquet ( as the sender was annonymous!  How? Used the power of getting a Visa Debit and using paypal but with Mum’s money so it’s easy to link the connection ).  IF Dr.Wardeyn didn’t put 1+1 together, she would on Christmas Day, as the 2nd charge was $75.00 ( org. price $280 cause it was on sale ) for a Diamond Accent Calla Lily Pendant in Sterling Silver on Christmas Day ]

[ . . .  What do you get someone who literally hates everything but designer shit?  Doesn’t even know where to begin.  Loser psychopath.  Not going around to spend much of Bayden’s mum’s money but they did get them a $50.00 Starbucks card with an envelope saying ‘ Where do deer get all of their coffee? ’  && when Monty opened it the answer ‘ STAR-b u c k s ’ the originality there was priceless had to play the Deer loving Bayden. With a star bucks card inside. Oooo.  Hope it burns her tongue.  The other gift cost Dr. Wardeyn nothing.  They personally made Monty an exact Ýrúrarí Jóhannsdóttir’s slobbering mask && told her ‘for your knitted sweaters && in case you needed a mask to cover up those zits’ since it was featured in Vogue.  Maybe she won’t notice it’s a duplicate fake, but all in all, it was more meant to be disliked over liked to begin with. FASHION is w i e r d. ]

#montywonmom

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.  

And the body switch magic DID NOT WORK.

Did.

Not.

Work.

Not only did not work but for some rando reason they decided to push to the ground to separate instead of just saying “Hey, it didn’t fucking work. You can get off me now. Thanks.” So, there the real Bayden was laying on the ground in Rowan’s body and watching as their body ran off like a coward and locked themselves in the bathroom.

Fucking coward.

They stood up and dusted themself off and then Celestis in Bayden’s body came out of the bathroom and randomly pushed them up against the wall next in a sudden two second kiss. It wasn’t much of a kiss but it was a kiss.

How many times do they have to say they care? What the even fuck? Was that kiss supposed to prove it? It left them blinking with a fixed confused expression as the fake Bayden sat there rambling on trying to explain themselves. The real Bayden now stuck in Rowan’s body listened to every word completely flabbergasted. But, if Celeste thought that the real Bayden was going to suddenly start following directions just because they were in a new body they were sadly mistaken. Stay here and regroup later? They were in HIS house in the WRONG bodies right NOW and AND she KISSED him and the switch DID NOT FUCKING WORK.

FUCK THAT!

“Aw, come on. But not like that! You never showed me you cared like THAT before and I’m not sure that sent a good message. You’re in my body now. If you’re going to go around kissing people in my body you gotta do better than that. I’m a good kisser. You can’t fuck up my rep like that. We can work on that later. If you really wanted to show you cared we could throw in some anal sex. That’d be perfect. I wouldn’t be confused at all then.”  

Bayden’s personality in Rowan’s body was about to give her a whole new reputation if Celestis wasn’t willing to Freaky Friday slash Parent Trap this situation. Maybe Celestis didn’t care. But, the real Bayden was on the fence of getting fed up and thinking of tattling and telling his mommy what happened. Then she’d be in trouble. Why can’t any of his friends just be cool? Why can’t he just… have….. real friends… a friend?  

They held this stone cold face until they finally got a chance to get a word in.

They followed them out.

“And How many times do you have to say it Celeste? How about once. Huh! How about that? You hate my family. All your crazy options sound like you want to fuck up my family to me. So yeah, saying it would be good. No fucking up my family. Act like you give a shit and stop acting like it’s fucking doomed and just fucking focus on how to make sure we’re not which means listening to me for once.”

“ANNNNNND all those options were bullshit anyway if we can’t just switch back at will. You were talking out your ass and wasting time. Switches of any kind are not in the options. We just tried and it didn’t work.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“Unless you stopped it on purpose?”

They lowered their voice in a sadden way as this realization started to hit them. They didn’t want to believe that. They wanted to believe the magic just wouldn’t work. There was no control.  

“Please tell me you didn’t stop it on purpose?”  

They sat down beside them and sighed.

“Can we please just focus on the only option we clearly have? Be each other one day at a damn time and take it as it comes because you’re going to need a bigger stock of Xannys fast if you keep worrying this much so much all the damn time. But, you may need to pop a few of those bars before you hear my whole story.”

       BAYDEN was talking, yet they where struggling with themselves currently.  Happening to ignore them, not because they desired too, but because they where struggling.  But they weren’t going to touch Nurse Janet. . .as they will figure that out, without ruining Bayden’s connection with them.  Hopefully.  They thought about using the Depression/Grieving/Not in the mood vibe. . .Having given it some thought earlier.

       Advice untaken it seemed, as Bayden followed as they were always invasive.  Being followed outside as they turned around, as there was a split second they looked confused.  Celeste?  What kind of name is that.  There eyes glazed over again && slipped back into there wretched thinking.  

       HATE was a little of a s t r o n g word to use against them.  But they didn’t say anything as they analyzed what Bayden was saying on his level like earlier.  Running there hand over Bayden’s hair habitually aggravated.  Tired too.  Holding there breath listening to Bayden.  They were feeling like they can’t feel things anymore.  

       “Doesn’t mean I’m going to be a dick in your body && personally go about wrecking you’re family dynamic.”  In a no brainier kind of tone, as they where confident in themselves to know they didn’t enjoy ruining lives because of personal feelings.  What would they have to gain from doing something as stupid as that?  What?  Because personal feelings got in the way?  It’s not just about themselves, but also about Bayden.  They are are not that CHILDISH && p a t h a t i c.  This was already stressful as it is, taking the extra miles to make it worse sounded horrific.

       Defeated.  They took a seat on the porch steps, looking out with what was infront of them.  While those options, where the least harmful one’s out of the others they could have put out there ; minus swapping his little sister in his body.  From what they gathered earlier, with the way Bayden acted, it seemed that they enjoyed being in a girls body.  Why they brought it up in that way.  There actions were narcissistic && fucking confusing, as it took them a minute, to get it without talking about it.  That was more of a last resort, && no one dies so that’s not to terrible, they are just siblings in the other’s body.  It could be worse.  It wasn’t bad pinning it on the school, to throw off the tracks to buy time since being in this body, they learn a thing or two about it.  Coping with it.  

       “Not yet, anyway.”  They said in the kind of way they were certain they had an idea.  About to say more, but there Bayden went again.  The paranoia conspiracy!

        They just have so much HATE && s c h e m e s against everyone.  Going about ruining lives, being some sentient witch symbiote parasite soul-swapper, who has no remorse.  Pretty sure if they went the sarcastic cynicism route Bayden would take it seriously, or bring it up later because it was said, even out of context.  Why are they not surprise they still think that way.

       “PART of it are the d r u g s in your system.”  There voice trailed off blankly, as they gave it some THOUGHT of the i s s u e s.

       “&& PART of it is the b o d y,” as they thought ahead, knowing how to explain it to Bayden.  “The short answer:  between the DRUGS && how your body m i s a l i g n e d is the current reason why we weren’t able to swap.”

       “What that means:  The SOUL didn’t r e j e c t the host like it had Devon’s, so you’re body is a carrier — there’s magic in the genetics or it would have abandoned the body.  It’s just a bit misaligned but that can be fixed with time, the best way to explain it to you to understand what I’m trying to say by that is think of it like a guitar.  Right now, It’s a guitar that’s really badly out of tune && needing some real tune up, tinkering && guitar care.  All I have to do is tune it to swap back.”  Put the body in tune && there’s a chance, even with the drugs in there system, if they pushed or projected themselves out it could work even with the drugs.  

       From experience when they took Xannax it’s not like it completely stopped it, but it made it a lot easier to hold the soul in.  It made it easier, but it didn’t stop the main issues.

       “But thanks for the support && trust in me.  Very hepful.”  Cynicism && sarcasm venomously expressed.  All they know is how to harm && ruin everyone’s lives they guess.

       “Yeah.”  Didn’t really see any fault with that.  Focus one day at a damn time worked wonders.

       “It can’t get any more worse than this Bayden.”  They said looking in there directions, as Bayden in Rowan’s body was right across from them.  “Just start where you feel comfortable whenever you’re ready.”

#rowan delacour #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.  

How long did it have to last? That was the point of his question. She was acting like it was no big deal to switch back with all her options. If that was so then why worry about all this? She was making a big deal out of nothing. She was acting like all this was so long term when one of the options was a double switch. That meant switch before visiting day and just do all this basically soon… basically now. This was all fucking dramatics for nothing the way Bayden saw it. She was making a mountain out of molehill about her power. Lose shit. blah blah. If she loses half. She wouldn’t know it because it’s lost. It was a very get over yourself and own it sort of power the way Bayden saw it.  

“This conversation is getting old. You’re repeating the same shit and going round in circles and not actually saying anything new or explaining anything of relevance or answering anything I actually asked.”

“Put it out there? Why would I want to harm my sister?”

BRowan shook their head.

“Are you under some sort of deluded idea I want to hurt my sister? You know what? Fuck you. Just… fuck you. All you do is complain. I’m sick of it. I hate all this negative shit. Your ideas are weirding me out. You’re going to fuck up my family. Get us switched back right now. You’re going to ruin my life because you’re an idiot and have no sense of fun in doing this at all what so ever. I’ll never be able to enjoy being you for a second because you’re going to suck at this Freaky Friday game. You’re big fucking fun sucker and you’re the worst witch I’ve ever met. Way worse than my sister. At least she knows how to have fun sometimes. You suck. Fuck losing anything.”

Then they slammed their shoestring burger down on the table and hopped up from their seat jumped into their lap and started hugging them all over again trying to make the magic switch happen again mashing their cheeks all up against the others. Moosh moosh moosh. Invade of personal space. Zero warning. Collide. Big time

Then they slammed their shoestring burger down on the table and hopped up from their seat jumped into their lap and started hugging them all over again trying to make the magic switch happen again mashing their cheeks all up against the others. Moosh moosh moosh. Invade of personal space. Zero warning. Collide. Big time. 

       THAT’S not, , , exactly what they said.  Clearly they were recognizing that this wasn’t working.  They needed a different angle.  The signs where clearly there, It’s just harder to grasp in Bayden’s body.  They pressed there lips tightly together.  Deep down they didn’t want to push Bayden away, even when it would make things so much easier for themselves right now.  Abruptly, they kept losing there grip on anger in Baydens body.  Hurt too. 

       Yet Bayden’s words fell into the silence, sending a ripple of pain within them.  They just couldn’t do this right now.  It just felt like a knife to there chest. It’s way to fucking much for them.  It burned every time they breathed, losing there grip convulsively.  Muscles swelling under Bayden’s skin.  The whitening of Bayden’s fingers digging into clenched fists.  As they fought there anger.  It’s worse they tend to see things that weren’t there.  Flash after flash, image after image of metal && glass that weren’t there in the corner of there vision.  They came faster now.  In wild, dizzying successions.  Ripples && colors appeared in reflective surfaces.  As saying anything more just felt useless to the situation. 

       They couldn’t think anymore, let alone breath — oh no, they thought, trying in vain to move, && get on there feet before Bayden in Rowan’s body rushed over, jumping on there lap.  While all they could hear was the AOL ( Sign On - Dial Up ) screeching in there head, pain vibrating in places they didn’t even know could hurt, feeling there head would split open any moment.  Breathing hard as the nausea && dizziness came back with a counter-blow.  Closing there eyes trying to decide what to do!  

       Nothing happened.

       Of course nothing happened they already knew that from the moment they walked away from them earlier.

       Seconds passed as it wasn’t that easy in Bayden’s body yet.  Placing one of there hands on the back of Rowan’s head, they’d pivot, turning Rowan’s body flat on there back.  Taking Rowan’s arms off Bayden’s body carefully without hurting them, as they took the opportunity to stand on there own two feet, not sure what to do anymore.

       They took the opportunity to storm there way into the bathroom, && slam the door behind them.  A soft CLICK.  It was l o c k e d behind them.

       Twisting the knob on the sink, it allowed the water to cascade out of the faucet as they rested there hands on either side of the sink && used it to support there weight.  && like that, for a moment, they remained still, drenched in sweat && feeling ill that they had no energy to push themselves anymore.  Drowning out any sound for a moment if any came from behind the door.

       They took this moment to catch there breath.  Catch there thought.  TRY to o r g a n i z e themselves what to do && most of all control there anger.  It was starting to get the better of them.  Avoiding looking in the mirror’s reflection as they cleaned themselves off, but sensing there was a giant eye staring right at them.  So close.  Having that look: WHAT ARE YOU going to d o?  If only it was actually there, then they’d just poke it where it hurts!

       Instead they began to pace back && forth in that small space.  Agitated.  Angry.  Hurt.  It was a lot easier to guard themselves in the other body then it was in this one.  It felt like lashes ripping at the skin, && there mind was to scattered.  Disorganized.  Having left the water running they quickly washed the sweat off there face, running there fingers through Bayden’s hair.  FInding some towel to clean themselves off before they UNLOCKED && o p e n e d the door.

       As they opened there mouth to say something, they just let anger take control.  Invading Bayden’s personal space.  Storming over to Bayden who was in Rowan’s body as they pinned them to the nearest wall a little more roughly then they liked.  With that same zero warning they kissed them.  It was the gentlest, the lightest of touches.  That lasted only in a couple of seconds before they pulled away.

       Fuck — they thought with nightmare calmness.  Slowly there hands came off them as if they realized what they done, as they walked backwards creating space between them.  “I don’t get what the FUCK is going on anymore.  What the issues are anymore.”

       “How many times do i have to say it?  I care about you, && since I care about you, the last thing I want is to go about destroying your program, or go about r u i n i n g your relationships with your FAMILY.  That’s the last thing i want to do!”  Saying the first things that came to mind.  

       “&& stop painting your sister in a shitty narrative!  END of d i s c u s s i o n.  We are DONE t a l k i n g about your sister tonight.  We are not mentally stable enough to even handle it!”  As true as it was neither one of them were stable.  Physically: Yes.  Mentally: No.  Instead, they just where going to move on from it.  Why try to bother about it today.  MONTY wasn’t h e r e.  So they didn’t need to talk about it anymore, or worry about it anymore, or argue about it anymore.  Right now it was to much pressure.  Needing a moment without them around them. 

       “STAY h e r e.”  Waving there hands around the desk area, as it wasn’t a command of any kind, but a suggestion well worth considering as they needed damn space from one another.  “Let’s regroup after you’re done eating.”

       Now that they said what they had to say, they set off again towards the front door.  Everything felt so claustrophobic now in Bayden’s cottage, as if the walls where just closing in as there was no space to breath, or think, && the eyes were multiplying, staring back as angry as they where at them.  Slamming the door behind them, hard, making the walls shutter a little from the force.

       Yet it didn’t help.  It didn’t help in the slightest.

       It only helped them able to breathe a little better.  Where everything was suffocating && so tight in Bayden’s cottage, the outside felt to spacious && endless.  Leaving them perplexed as they noticed there wasn’t anything neutral anymore.  Yet they guessed it had something to do with the ominous forest with frolicking mutants facing behind them to give them that.

       NEVER will they let a n g e r guide them again in Bayden’s body, it lead to action’s they had no control over.  Placing there hand over there lips.   Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  They panicked a bit on the inside.  It’s worse when they liked it.  Frankly, they couldn’t question there sanity even if they wanted to cause they lived in a rabbit hole of insanity && madness!  

       Trying.  Focusing on what they said earlier.  Trying to break it down, && make sense of it.  Sitting on the bottom step defeated, propping there elbow’s on there knee’s.  Resting there forehead in between balled up hands.  Just trying to breath without the pain in there chest, && not think.  As they couldn’t tell if the headache was worse then the anger.

#rowan delacour #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.

Wrong.

BRowan was not wondering if they should be worried about his mother. He was telling Celeste straight up his mother she should be worried. She’d get it soon enough when they started to teach each other about one another’s lives and it got to Bayden’s turn to school up Celeste on what his life was really like. She had no clue what she was in for and Bayden was going to get so pissed off if she fucked up anything when it came to his mother. That was going to be the line cross of all line crosses. He sacrificed his whole life for that woman and Celeste messed it for him now he would die inside. Absolutely die.

“If you weren’t dating then who the fuck is Princeton? Just stop with the flowery cryptic talk already. You know I hate that stupid shit.”

Destroy someone?

“Dramatic much? All we did switch into some Freaky Friday shit. We’re fine.”

Phone drama.

“You know damn well I need the one that Briarcliff issued you until the moment I check out and I didn’t say I was. So, I need it no matter what your little special powers are, okay?”

BRowan really didn’t seem interested in pursuing and playing around with all their new powers. One would think they would be, but for now they were stuck on more important things to them. They never wanted power, but they might eventually figure out it’s useful.

Oh, she was absolutely afraid of Montgomery fucking Wardeyn. She was or she wouldn’t be worried about being found out. She wouldn’t be worried about being shoved in a soul box. The girl was no elite sorceress or almighty power like Monty. If she had any control of herself she wouldn’t choose to live in an asylum. If she suddenly became one that would only make her look less intelligent. You can’t be a super awesome overpowered person and trap yourself in such a dumb situation and it still be a believable situation. The girl lived in complete fear all the time unless she just talked too big for her britches. Bayden would never buy into any of that sort of thought process if he ever heard it. Then he did. She said it out loud.

BRowan rolled her eyes. “Then you’re an idiot because you should be, but thank you for playing along.”

Then out came the options.

BRowan kept blinking at all her ideas.

“Okay. Okay. Stop. Wait. Wait right there. Are you being sarcastic? Revenge trope. Revenge for what? Why the fuck would I want my sister in my body? Are you saying these are viable options? You would be willing to double switch? That means going back to our normal selves and then just go back this which you clearly don’t approve of. You looked so angry at me. I mean… “

They chuckled a little pointing out how much of a hypocrite they were after all this time if they weren’t being sarcastic.

“After all the don’t touch me bullshit? Now you want to touch on purpose and then touch AGAIN on purpose and DO IT AGAIN, which means we’d seriously be doing this by choice then, and for no other reason but… fun? I’m not even sure. You’re saying this as if you already can control it and just make all those options happen, like it’s no biggie. If all those options were so easy then you’ve been acting like this is such a big scary situation and making a big deal out of it for no reason. You’re literally telling me right now we can switch back whenever we want to. Yes or no? What makes you so willing to play all of all sudden when you’ve been an uptight bitch about it all this time to the point you never even told me, even cut your damn hair to avoid me?”

“Your options don’t make sense and are confusing the Hell out of me. Why would I want any of that? Truly

       IGNORANCE is b l i s s, right?  For Bayden anyway.  Despite there uneasiness, they felt a slow flame of anger burning in there chest.  They were confused about a lot of things right now, but they were not confused about how they felt right now.

       Worried was HARDLY the e m o t i o n they were feeling.  No.  It was anger at Bayden, there wariness taking it’s grip, there unease scratching the surface, the hostile mocking attitude && thoughtless shit-planning with not a damn outcome in sight — they were HARDLY w o r r i e d.  

       What they couldn’t imagine is were all this was coming to.  What this was leading to be.  Bayden wanted them to act like him.  Be him.  Acting like Bayden for a short period of time is ONE t h i n g.  However, how long would Bayden think this could last?  How long does Bayden think this would work?  What ever was happening was madness.

       Truly && honesty they were not BAYDEN.

       They knew from experience what it felt like, after all, deceiving at face value but it’s honestly different in Bayden’s case.  They didn’t feel anything when they thought about it except ANGER that they are making the same damned m i s t a k e s they did in the past.  Only very differently.  There is only so much they can do as acting in Bayden’s place before it all falls apart.  

       As much as they are not a W a r d e y n.

       They weren’t sure what was going on with Bayden, but they needed to.  They cared for Bayden, far more than they should after seeing this side of them.  As it all comes down to all that expectation && responsibility forcibly depended on them.  Not anyone else, just them, or it’s over.

       && they never really COULD b e a Wardeyn.

       && yet there’s only one thing that can blind someone as smart as them.  Caring.  The fact that they cared enough to play along into this FUCKING m a d n e s s of there’s was really weighing on them.  They just caught feelings for someone they wish they haven’t.

       They had enough STRESS in there l i f e already.  Taking a deep silent breath as there brain worked hard to organize each of there thoughts in a body that sends paroxysms of throbbing pain in the head.  Pushing forward regardless of the headache.  They thought the many various outcomes to each situation could bring && have some half-baked backup plan.  As they spent mulled over there ideas in flustered agitation, counting for each possible calamity, which there were to many.

       They only worried for the person they cared for, who was clueless to the out of control mess in front of them.

       “ENOUGH already.”  Barely having control as there frustration slipped a little.  “Just d r o p it Bayden!”  They should have never brought it up in the damn first place!  What more was there to say after saying the same thing?  Clarifying.  Back to the beginning line — he’s GOOD k i d.

       Yet that kind of thinking on Bayden end breeds disaster && destruction.  “Yeah?  Nothing to worry about then.”  Everything was far from fine but as the situation was out of there own control.  Whatever Bayden was avoiding — whatever was going on with them.  What space Bayden needed.  They still stayed six feet away from them regardless.  The support Bayden needed, however irrational it was.  They gave it to them.

       “A h,” it was all coming back to them as It had been quite some time nearly forgetting.  There was a tense unhappiness as they felt a pang in there chest like something getting broken or becoming soft as they just stared at the ceiling.  It get’s harder && harder to breath.  Let alone think anymore as they weren’t sure anymore.  Constantly being compared to Rowan.  Again.  && again.  Monotonously explaining “I yeeted that over the Briarcliff fence my second day being here.”  Before they even knew each other.  There was no point in having one, as there was still no point in having one.  “DR. W a r d e y n was warned.”  Not that that made it any better.

       Nobody really has everything figured out, no, but they changed.  They lost half of themselves, && can’t bring themselves to connect to that side of themselves anymore that held on.  They weren’t a person of many regrets.  They were a person of so much guilt.  The lives they ruined && very well wrecking?  They never regretted the existence of themselves. . .until right now.  It’s worse when it doesn’t matter who they where or who they used to be — maybe Bayden’s actions where right.  If they hadn’t been SELFISH, they would have never met e a c h o t h e r.  If they never met EACHOTHER, Bayden wouldn’t be in this fucking m e s s.  

       They didn’t fear Montgomery Wardeyn, what they once had feared before, now is a place they feel they deserve to be.  Look what’s happening around them?  It’s happening all over again but terribly different && they are having strong negative opinions of there very existence.  Again.  Hurting someone they cared about.  It’s happening all over again.   Alienated.  The very thought of there vain && conceited existence made there heart clench painfully in there chest.  The spiral of emotions was too much pressure  Too much to deal with.  Being really alone in this.  They pushed it down, burying it for now.

       “There’s no reason for me to be scared of your sister Bayden.  Not anymore at least.”  Shifting.  No longer laying on there side as they laid on there back as there was a silence.

       “SURVIVAL.”  It was just one word that corrected Bayden, that filled the silence in the room.  Closing there eyes, as they all have that feeling time to time.  Where life gets to tiring && there’s even a point in there lives where they may even ask, should they just give up?  

       Tired of this life, tired of the burden they carry on there shoulders.  Today, they lost half of themselves, but what about next time?  The time after that?  They have always been trying to understand the meaning of PAIN.  The answer. . .p a i n of losing someone that only left the best memories to live on. 

       They don’t get to choose what STAYS && what g o e s.  That’s the nightmare in it all.  It’s a hard choice to make, but it couldn’t be helped.

       “What do you want me to say?”  The hopeless reality that they should be afraid of his sister?  That if all fails just give up?  Give in?

       “It doesn’t fucking matter.  It could be over for ME, but it doesn’t have to be for y o u.”

       “Regardless of how perfect we are in each other’s roles Bayden, I CAN’T just pretend to be y o u forever.”

        “You’re sister, more or less likely will know somethings off.  If not NOW, then l a t e r.  I’m not a WARDEYN, but y o u are.  Putting Monty’s soul in you’re body, && putting you’re soul in Monty’s at least keeps you together && better off.  If you don’t want to try any other way.”

       “I have no doubt not everyone adores you’re domesticated turkey of a sister in that school.  In the cross confusion another’s name would be bound to come out, that has some vendetta, or jealousy, or hatred, or crazy conspiracy she has against you’re sister.  If you put it out there, it’s believable.  It you put it out someone was trying to harm her, it’s believable.”  It bought time.  Time that Bayden needed for whatever reason they needed.  Was it reversible. . . they had no clue.

       “If I FAIL.  Well I f a i l.”  They die.  They’ll obviously die rEgArDlEsS.  If they succeed?  It’s no victory.  They lose, it’s not just the rest of themselves, it’s everything && that’s just the damn same as dying.  “What choices do I have?  It doesn't matter if I’m scared or if I can’t stand the idea of it because now you’re involved && it makes everything different because of you.  I don't matter, all that matters is if it works."  If.  Could work.  Might fail.  Die by trying or die by doing nothing.  “I’ve got EVERYTHING to l o s e.”

#rowan delacour #montywonmom #━━ ✧ spilled ink. | interactions #━━ 🌊 saltyxtides. | ahv

[saltyxtides]

☪ —— WITH Bayden occupying Rowan’s body && there living space.  It also means going through there personal belongings:

       IF they d o end up going through there things, which is very little anyway, rather then the graveyard of books piled underneath the bed,  painted pieces/artwork all over the walls/furniture, the desk full of art supplies as the first drawer has the grimoire of book pages, the second/third has a lot of art supplies neatly divided in metal tins ( some he even may recognize from christmas ), as the bottom drawer has there homemade book-paged sketch books of her artwork to flip through.

       HOWEVER, if Bayden looks in the right places in Rowan’s room there are FOUR d r a w i n g s hidden out of sight in different places of a UNKNOWN w o m e n through out the Assistant Living Cottage they occupy. [ X - X - X - X ]

♞   ┋ ❛ Celestis Davenport Sketches.  

#bayden wardeyn #celestis davenport #rowan delacour