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ltwharfy · 24 days

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"Bob's Burgers" Season 9 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 9:

Average (Mean) Score: 4.55

Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 5

Ranking Breakdown: 12 5s 10 4s

Season as a whole thoughts:

"Bob's Burgers" is turning nine and it's feeling *uses inhaler* fine!

Seriously, this is just another really excellent season in my opinion. It joins Season 4 and 8 as one of the seasons to not getting any episodes rated lower than a 4, and it's average score is good enough for 4th place of the currently ranked seasons below 7, 4, and 5. In some ways, it reminds me a lot of Season 7- a great mix of humor and heart along with introducing some new characters and other innovations- it's definitely representative of the series at its best, in my opinion.

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for Now": It's a tough call, but this might be my favorite season premiere and my favorite "musical episode" (ie: one with more than the typical 1-2 songs). All the songs are absolute classics and great parodies of romantic comedy tropes! it's really a brilliant episode. It's hard to name a favorite song, but I think I might have to go with "Friend Zone" just because "Now let's kiss over this cake/'Cause it's your birthday, I guess" always cracks me up. The baby rat subplot is also really fun, and a great use of Hugo. And this episode gives us another (brief) appearance of Louise's Boo Boo crush, which is one of my favorite running gags! A great way to start the season.

"The Taking of Funtime One Two Three": While we're on the subject of great songs (or we were recently) "let an egg roll, from your egg hole" and "if wooly mammoths had had wheels maybe they'd still be around" are among the "Bob's Burgers" song lyrics that are always living in my head. Sadly, I rarely have an occasion to say either of them in conversation. I do like to say "To what end, people?!" occasionally, so thanks for that, Trip. Anyway, this is another classic "The Belcher Kids and their friends have an adventure episode" with a healthy does of Mr. Fischoeder and some fun moments with Yuli the security guard, one of my favorite minor recurring characters.

"Tweentrepreneurs": I love this episode because it helped inspire one of my favorite future career headcanons for Louise (and an outlined multichapter fic I'll probably never write). While taking over the restaurant or being a film director seem like the most obvious future career for Louise, this episode has the biggest of about three canon moments that inspired my "Louise Belcher, future labor union organizer" headcanon. I worked in the labor movement for several years and I just think would Louise would love it- taking on the rich and powerful, helping other people stand up for themselves, causing good trouble- it's a really good fit for her. And here she is, leading a walkout at age 9! (And, given my fondness for her relationship with Rudy, I have to mention that it's her concern for his health that is the final straw leading to the walkout.)

"Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street": Probably my favorite Halloween episode; definitely has my two favorite Halloween costumes! Rudy and Bob are probably the two characters I relate to the most, and it cracks me up that their costumes in this episode are totally things I would do: "what? It might look like I'm wearing normal clothes, but actually I'm totally Paul Rudd or Bruce Springsteen, can't you tell?!" Also, I don't think I've mentioned before how much I love the guy who's about to throw the candy into the incinerator. He's really one of my favorite one-off characters. Dude just got out of six month coma, doesn't know what day it is, still goes to work...and apparently will just throw anything into the incinerator that anybody tells him to (unless he gets a more compelling reason not to)? I think he might rank second after the "Boyz 4 Now" security guard as my favorite nameless one-off character.

"I Bob Your Pardon": Maybe my third or fourth favorite Thanksgiving episode! I've always had an interested in politics and journalism (I wanted to be a journalist when I was a kid) so this hilarious small town Thanksgiving turkey pardoning scandal really hits a lot of the right notes for me. If I had become a journalist, I definitely would've stolen "Well, somebody better call Huey Lewis because I may have found myself some news" as my catchphrase. And the end credits song is a total banger! "Don't you taint my mayor!"

"Better Off Sled": An excellent Christmas episode! Generally speaking, Louise and Logan's dynamic isn't really my jam, but I enjoy them here. The one-upsmanship of the snowball arms race is a lot of fun, and the "stupid Christmas" ending is sweet but not too sweet and feels totally in character for Louise. Also, I can't help but love this exchange: "Then why does it look like your butt could take a sheet of fresh-baked cookies out of the oven?" "Genetics?" (Kristen Schaal's delivery of "genetics?" is one of at least three times on the series when she absolutely kills me with her delivery of a single word). All that being said, I think Teddy is the real comedic MVP of this episode- pretty much everything he says cracks me up! And I love that Rudy is basically the one who saves the day for the Belcher kids! And Knitcracker, I can't believe I didn't mention Knitcracker yet! (That said, it's still not my favorite Christmas episode since it doesn't involve any references to murder mannequins.)

"The Helen Hunt": I feel like this might be one of my least popular shipping opinions but...I like Teddy/Kathleen! Not in the sense that I want to create fic or art for them, but I just think they are kind of sweet together. Like with Roger and Judy from "Aquaticism" they have that "awkward middle-aged people finding each other" vibe that this awkward middle-aged single person finds appealing. And I think her pretty easygoing, laidback nature is a nice contrast to how stressed out/excitable Teddy can be. And I always enjoy people who watch odd sports! Okay, Teddy/Kathleen aside, I also just enjoyed that they did a followup to "Housetrap", and the father and hot son plumbing duo subplot is so cute! "You, you make plumbing fun..."

"Bed, Bob, and Beyond": One of the things I've noticed in this rewatch, is that I really enjoy the three-story episodes (aka vignette episodes aka triptychs aka who knows what else some folks have called them.) I think what I really enjoy is that the reason for them is always different, and therefore it always says something different about the characters and their situations. it's not just the Simpsons having a trio of non-canon Halloween adventures ever year. I think showing Linda and Bob having a stupid fight, and the kids view of it and their efforts to get them to reconcile, was a really clever use of one of these stories. Also, if I am ever asked to do an English accent, I will likely say "I'm watching footie on the telly in the pubby where the beer is". (Which is probably offensive, so please don't ask me to do that!)

"Every Which Way But Goose": Another thing the rewatch has made me appreciate more: Jimmy Jr. and his relationship with Tina. I never hated J-Ju, but I will say that I probably took him and the Tinimmy relationship for granted- it's been there since almost the beginning but I never really thought much about it. But the rewatch has helped me realize how funny of a character J-Ju is (it's just a really funny voice by H. Jon Benjamin) and how the Tinimmy relationship has given us some really funny episodes- most notably this one and "Ex Mach Tina", which are both all-time classics in my book (and, of course, they play a big role in "Bob Actually" as well, but I like that one for other reasons as well.) To me, it's clear from this episode and others that J-Ju does care about Tina...he's just very much a 13 year old boy. So, he's occasionally thoughtful but more often dumb or oblivious. Also, the end credits song to this one is another classic. I wish I could go to a concert of "Bob's Burgers" music just so I could scream out "secret kiss with Bruce the Goose" with thousands of other excited concert goers, because that is what that lyric deserves, dammit!

"The Gene Mile": So, I recently posted about how much I enjoyed some of the Rudy moments in this one. This is another great "Belcher kids and their friends" adventure; and I really wish that Courtney and Alex had more appearances in stories like this- where they and their relationship with Gene isn't really the center of the story- they are just part of the gang! It's always fun to watch different combinations of the kids have fun together. Also, nice for Large Tommy to get his largest role- going back to Season 1 of the rewatch it's funny to think that he was introduced much earlier than some of Louise's more iconic classmates (Rudy, Chloe, Millie, Jessica, Harley, etc.).

"P.T.A. It Ain't So": I feel like this might be the first example in the rewatch of an episode that really grew on me. A lot of the episodes I've given 5s to were ones I remember loving as soon as I saw them. Or they were "sleeper hits" that I had basically forgotten about before rewatching. This episode I remember when I first saw it, and I remember thinking it was fine but nothing great. But on rewatches I just find myself enjoying it more and more. I really love the Kim and Sons hardware store bird subplot- especially the ridiculous flyer the kids make. Also, it's fun watching the kids play with their pipe in the background (such a great kids being kids moment)! But the PTA stuff is great too- I love the fact that Tammy's Dad is Linda's PTA bestie for some reason! And Linda's idea of Colleen being in the shark suit for the dramatic revelation! And the Bleach Boys! Also, as someone who headed a neighborhood political group for a while, Joanne's line "Do you have any idea how many emails I send a week? No, you don't because no one reads them" resonates with me.

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-More great new characters continue to arrive on the scene! Hi Susmita! Hi Arnold!

-I would totally watch Randy's movie "A Life, Well, Steved". "And I thought to myself, 'I can't take another hurdle. I think I am that baby turtle.'" That's some beautiful, profound stuff there.

See you in the Season 10 post! It could be pretty soon since I've already watched rated it all- just need time to write!

#bob's burgers #bob's burgers season 9 #bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch #long post

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timetravelerpyrite · 6 months

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Uh, hi.

My name is Pyrite, I go by he/him mainly… don't mind she/her though. Newly found out I like Pup/Pupself pronouns too.

I'm 30. (B-day is November 16th, if that matters to anyone.)

//Current Arc: None rn!

//Finished Arcs: Fool's Faller, ABSOLute Panic!

Anyway, not too important, I just kinda found this site and realized 'Oh, there's some people like me here!' so here I am I guess?

Don't expect me to be friendly.

I don't bite! I'm trying to make more friends, but don't shove too much at me at once please.

I don't like staying in one place, it makes me anxious, no I won't tell you why. I was running a lot because of my Ex, she and my bio fam wants me to come back, but I won't, I'm actually tying to get use to staying in one place now.

Most important thing, I'm a Time Traveler and Dimension hopper, how the hell am I both?

I caught a Celebi (He/She/They) by COMPLETE ACCIDENT so now I'm kinda stuck with them, and I kinda got adopted by a Dimension hopping Iron called Iron Eclipse (It/Its)… no, I do not expect you to know what that is.

Call me a fake if you want, I don't care, just try not to hold me down in one spot, got it? Wow I don't like this part the most, why was I such a jerk in my intro??

Anyway, I might visit ya if I feel like, I have two adopted (not legally but who gives a shit) sisters @queen-of-the-phantoms and @pokedexcamp! I'm dating @silveredfeathers and living with him and his wife (and now my Girlfriend-??) @trainerlynda.

Adding an addendum: Sometimes we, his Irons, connect to his phone to be able to post. We are;

🐉: Iron Rage. (She/Her)

🕊️: Iron Serenity! (He/They/Fae)

🌋: Iron Eruption. (He/Him)

🌑🌈: Iron Eclipse.

⌛: And sometimes I steal the phone, I'm Chronos his Celebi.

🍞: Thanatos types sometimes too, she has rather broken English so it will likely be autocorrected to hell and back, please tell her if it gets a word wrong, from what I can tell she wants to understand (She/It)

//Open ask games!

Pelipper mail and malice.

Ask an invasive question.

//Magnifying glass ask game!

See his dreams and nightmares.

//A post for you to give me permission for him to hop to your character's dimension! (Either on purpose or by accident.)

//Ooc info under the cut!

//Ooc. This is a sideblog! Unreality. Mod is an adult and goes by she/her he/him pronouns All art I use is my own (Or made for me)! I follow from @theshadowqueenofthedistortion, more info about me on my main! This blog is not settled in one dimension at the moment, so expect conflicting area info. Here's some of my other accounts as well!

//Semi-Serious blog, I will participate in active silliness and also write serious stuff. Will sometimes touch on death, abuse and a few other things, I will tag the serious stuff with their appropriate tw/cw tags.

//I will not ship with anyone who isn't my BF (and myself, but that's a note for later), just for my comfort. This boi does n o t stay in one place, if he goes to visit someone he will get there himself/he fell into that universe by accident.

//Magic anons are allowed! But I am picky.

//I am very open to crossover stuff!

//This guy is very much centered around Future Paradox pokemon! He's not gonna know all the Pokemon's names and will call them 'Irons'. The Iron names are VERY much headcannons unless talking about a cannon Iron.

//When he's on the move things he says aloud will be under

[Voice to text active!] where as when he's actully writing it will be under [Pyrite is typing...]

//What the tags mean.

//Shadow Mod Speaks: Mod speaking.

//Mod Reference: Me and/or Zorana making references for this account

//Shadow Art: Art by me that isn't a ref/finished.

//Pyrite info: Self-Explanatory. For both IC and OOC.

Little Hops: His post/response tag.

Warping Reality: Closed and/or serious RP. I will also use this tag when responding seriously to something.

Where am I today?: When Pyrite is mainly talking to himself.

The Pokemon tags: They are for each respective Pokemon/Iron

Magic Anon Things.: Stuff with magic anons.

Triangle Terror: Pyrite dealing with the truth triangles. He can't turn them off, so hehehe.

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icouldntfinditsoiwroteit · 1 year

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Back in town Part 1 gender neutral reader (the black phone fic)

Edit: Changed the title since this fic finally has a name, also part two is up

Also also forgot to add this, but this fic happens around five years after the movie so it's around 1983, and they are either 18 or 19

Also also also if you want me to tag you in the next parts I upload just tell me in the comments

Next>>

"Students, please welcome our new student," Miss Miller said as she pointed gently at the student that stood beside her.

"Would you please present yourself, dear," She prompted.

"The name's (F/N), nice to meet you," (F/N) said.

"Would you mind telling the class where you come from?" She asked.

"My dad and I moved back here actually,"

"Oh really, so you lived here before,"

"Yeah, my dad's job made us move at least twice a year, but he got a position that let him settle down," (F/N) scratched the back of their head growing more and more uncomfortable with all the attention on them.

"Welcome back then, if you may, please go sit next to Dylan," She said, and (F/N) sighed silently thanking god that the presentation was finally over.

(F/N) quickly made their way to the chair and sat sparing a look at the kid who the teacher had called Dylan before but what had caught (F/N)'s attention was the book on his desk, he was looking out of the window but seemed to feel (F/N)'s stare and turned.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"You like Stephen King?" (F/N) asked with a smile and this seemed to surprise the boy as his previous hostile behavior shifted completely.

Timeskip

The bell rang for lunch.

"Wanna spend lunch together?" (F/N) asked, during the class they had both been chatting while the teacher didn't notice.

"Sure," Dylan said with a smile.

They both walked to the cafeteria while talking about different things, jumping from subject to subject.

As they waited in line they didn't notice when a taller guy approached them and cut in line in front of Dylan.

Dylan said nothing but this made (F/N) even angrier at the dude.

"Oi, we were here first," (F/N) said as they pulled the guy from the shoulder.

"What did you say to me?" The guy asked threateningly.

"You heard me, we were here first," (F/N) repeated not backing down.

"(F/N), leave it," Dylan tried to pull (F/N) back.

"You the new one?" The guy asked with an amused look on his face.

"Does little Dily have a new friend?" He taunted.

"Oi, watch it," (F/N) warned and the guy held his hands up in mock defeat.

"Your new, so I'll give you the chance to learn the big mistake you just made, and tomorrow you can come and apologize to me, newbie,"

"The hell do you-"

"(F/N) please," Dylan pleaded and (F/N) quieted down.

"Let little Dily tell you how this place runs, he is quite familiar with it after all," The boy said before walking away.

It was here that (F/N) finally noticed how almost the entire cafeteria had been watching the encounter.

"Who the hell was that?" (F/N) turned to Dylan who looked about to pass out.

"Dylan?"

"That was Vance Hopper, he's um....he's real bad news, he and his friends," Dylan said as they quickly took their lunch and went to an empty table.

"So a bunch of assholes?" (F/N) said but Dylan immediately rushed her.

"You, don't want them hearing you say that, trust me,"

"Alright, at least explain to me who they are," (F/N) said after a long sigh.

"Well, they are six in total, the one you just met is Vance Hopper, he isn't usually as calm as he was back there,"

"The group was previously kidnapped by a spycopath, he was called the Grabber,"

"Oh, I do remember reading something about it in the news a few years back, it was national news,"

"Yeah, well, I don't know why he thought kidnapping six kids and keeping them in the same place was a good idea, but they managed to overpower and kill him as they tried to escape,"

"I see,"

"But if you ask me, I think they were never able to truly escape the nightmare that they lived, or at least to truly move on," Dylan said barely above a whisper.

"Then what is up with the rules he was talking about?" (F/N) asked.

"Well, there aren't many, and honestly as long as you avoid them you should never need to follow or even acknowledge them, but in case there are four,"

"One, don't ever talk back to them,"

"Two, if they tell you to do something you do it,"

"In my case, Vance makes me either save his spot in line or bring him lunch,"

"Three, you don't interfere with their business with others,"

"The next one is for those who had really bad luck and sort of became their errand boys or some even call them...toys," Dylan said a bit red in the ears.

"And four, you don't do anything they haven't told you to do or you'll get the beating of your life, if they say jump you say how high, if they tell you to stay in school you stay even if it's the weekend,"

"What?" (F/N) asked in disbelief.

"No matter what, leaving for class, going home, everything, they need to follow their instructions to the letter," Dylan said his eyes cast down.

Dylan's expression made (F/N) pale.

"Dylan, are you?"

"No, god no," Dylan assured.

"But most errand boys were their primary focus of bullying or who weren't on the best of terms with them and I'm not in the best position with them right now," Dylan admitted looking away.

"Dylan, if you need help I'll-"

"No, please, just stop, you'll just get on their bad side if you do anything, besides, we've barely talked for a day, so just apologize tomorrow and stop talking to me," Dylan said his eyes glassy as if he wanted to cry.

(F/N) remained silent for a moment.

"Well, too bad, I like you and you're stuck with me," (F/N) shrugged making Dylan look at her with wide eyes.

"And I don't give two shits about some kid's issues, if they bother you again I'll make them regret it," (F/N) said with conviction.

The bell rang, lunch was over and so was their conversation it seemed as they walked in silence.

"Hey, what subject do you have after this?" (F/N) asked.

"Chemistry," Dylan answered quietly.

"Math, I'll see you after school?"

"Sure," Dylan said with a slight almost hopeful smile.

They soon parted ways and as (F/N) was going up the stairs they heard someone call their name.

As they turned around they saw a familiar face.

"Finney?" (F/N) said surprised.

"It's Finn please," He said and (F/N) couldn't contain their huge smile as they pulled him into a hug.

"Holy shit, it's been ages since I last saw you, I had no idea you went to this school too," (F/N) said happily letting go of the hug.

"Same, I had no idea you were back until someone told me about the new student," Finn explained.

"How have you been?"

"You grew so much, here I thought you would stay tiny your whole life, although I'm still taller" (F/N) teased.

"Shut up," Finn said shoving gently (F/N)'s shoulder.

"Wait, if you are here, does that mean Robin is here too?"

Finn nodded.

"Damn, I haven't seen him in so long either, what class do you have now?" (F/N) asked.

"Social studies,"

"Damn, I've got math," (F/N) said.

"It's okay, let's hang out after school," Finn said.

"Sorry dude, I'm already hanging out with someone else and I need to get back home soon, you know how worrisome my dad can be," (F/N) said but as the bell rang again (F/N) resumed their way up the stairs.

"Let's hang out tomorrow, during lunch," (F/N) yelled as they ran to class.

This left Finn looking at the space where (F/N) had been previously slightly annoyed that they didn't listen to him, but it was soon washed over at the thought of having his childhood friend back, he was sure Robin would also be happy.

(F/N) made it to the classroom just as the teacher was about to close the door.

"Sorry," (F/N) apologized and the teacher simply shook his head in disappointment.

(F/N) quickly went to the last desk available.

As the teacher began class he immediately told everyone to get in teams of two who they would work with for the rest of the year.

(F/N) gulped as they slightly saw how everyone got together, everyone except the guy behind them who was seemingly busy in his doddles.

They turned around to be able to see the boy well and tapped his desk calling his attention.

"Wanna work together?" (F/N) asked with a smile.

"Is there even a choice?" He asked sarcastically.

"Nope, guess we're stuck together then," (F/N) said with a smile that seemed to slightly surprise the boy.

"Name's (F/N)," (F/N) extended their hand which after a moment of consideration the boy shook.

"Billy,"

Timeskip

(F/N) walked looking forward to seeing Dylan but as they reached the school's exit he wasn't there, so (F/N) waited for him to come.

He never came, (F/N) had waited until almost everyone had already left.

It would have made them really mad but something told (F/N) that there was a reason for Dylan not showing up so they turned back and went to search for him in the school.

*C'mon where could he be?* (F/N) wondered as they searched the second floor.

But as they walked to the stairs once more they saw two girls almost running down the stairs, they only came to a halt to not collide with (F/N).

"Whoa, you two alright?" (F/N) asked worriedly.

"Oh yeah, just getting out of school, you should do the same," One said.

"Why?" (F/N) furrowed their brows.

"Better do so, you wouldn't want them to get angry at you for even being near their roof,"

"Poor guy, they really seem mad today, hope they don't do too much to him," One said with a worried voice.

"Let's just get back home," The other said pulling her friend to the next flight of stairs.

*The roof,* (F/N) thought looking up.

Meanwhile

"What exactly did you tell them?" Dylan heard the question but his body was in too much pain for him to even move toward the source.

"C'mon, Dily, just tell him and you can go," Dylan recognized Finn's voice, but he knew it was a lie, he had already told them what he said and they didn't believe him or maybe they did, didn't matter, they were mad, he just had to hold on until they got tired.

"I told you," He managed to mumble at which Robin sighed loudly.

"I don't think he's lying, anyway why do you care what he said to that newbie either way," Vance asked.

"Because the newbie is an old friend and I wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea of us because of some...misinformation," Finn said through gritted teeth.

"I think I have them in Math, (F/N)?" Bily asked his bored expression shifting.

"Yeah, you with them then," Robin confirmed.

"You mean the asshole who was bothering me at lunch?" Vance asked anger in his voice.

"Yeah, but don't worry they were always a fast learner," Robin assured.

"They better or I'll-"

"You'll what, you Dee Snider knockoff," At this even Dylan turned as his eyes widened at the sight of (F/N).

This fic is inspired by @kaylinlmao 's work in general

#the black phone #vance hopper #bruce yamada #billy showalter #griffin stagg #finn blake #finney blake #reader insert #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #back in town au

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appl3-juice-box · 10 months

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OKAY OKAY IM GETTING MY FRIEND TO WATCH UNDERVERSE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT UNDERTALE IS SO HER OUT OF CONTEXT COMMENTARY IS SO FUCKING AMAZING I HAVE TO DOCUMENT IT AND MY EXPLANATIONS

For context, anything in () will be my explanations

@speak-now-girlies-unite because she said to tag her

is he wearing slippers omg this is amaxing

omg love me a male wife 🤭

soul absorption fancy (Yeah that basically means "haha I stole half of your life source lol, now gimme the other half and die")

i love the name ink so much

DID HE JUST THROW UP IN HIS EXCITEMENT OF TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING???? JUST LIKE ME FRFR (YEAH THATS WHAT HE DOES ITS KINDA QUIRKY)

crying? bb boy let me buy you a hamster to wipe your tears with

cross omg cool name

omg is that the error guy (YEA THATS THE ERROR GUY![I had previously talked about him]) YEAH (HES HOT RIGHT?) YEAH (YEAH)

the white/red soul thing is making me zzzzbrrrrr in interest (Ohohoho, youre gonna love this) that makes me also zzzbrrr in interest

samn that’s kinda sad i wanna write fanfiction about his sad life

oh my god is that a real life skater boy, with a backwards cap am i hallucinating (THATS FRESH HES SO FUCKING COOL)

he has a backwards cap (ITS GOT A LITTLE PROPELLER ON TOP TOO) does it really omg (YEAH) WOO

dark spaghetti thing ?? (which one, the emo?) Yeah I think so *intermission to find what the dark spaghetti is* (THATS NOT THE EMO THATS NIGHTMARE IM CRYING) seems pretty emo to me (trust me there's more)

OH MY GOD THE SUN PERSON >>>> (THE SUN PERSON I CANT) HES EXISTEDIN MY BRAIN FOR FIVE SECONDS I LOVE HIM

HIS NAME IS PAPYRUS??? LIKE THE ANCIENT EGYPTIAN SCROLLS? (THE PAPYRUS FONT AND COMIC SANS THATS WHY SANS MAKES JOKES) OHHHH

ketchup???

OH YMG SO THE SUN PERSONS BACK!!! His name is dream ? (Yes his name is dream) funsies🤭✨ (dream and nightmare) omg that makes sense

also i recognize that you’ve told me about them before right? (yes I have) 🤭

second person pov>

the shot of ink blinking at sans and frisk’s convo>>>>

officially frisk is my daughter

ink makes my brain go so vrrbbbbb (Ink makes my brain want to slaughter him /lh) oh damn what does he do😔 ... ACTUALLY don’t tell me i’ll find out<3

NOT THE FALLEN DOWN STOP💔💔💔 (YEAH FALLEN DOWN IS ORIGINALLY FROM UNDERTALE) YEAH I KNEW THAT I SHOULDVE PREPARED MYSELF SKDNDJ

(have you seen the emo yet?) he sounds kinda like a five year old having a tantrum he looks cool though (the golden tooth boi? Yeah thats him) funnnn

oo getting hyped up

omg fight scene? slay

omg x event - no clue what that is but it sounds cool

more soul absorption

i have mixed feelings on that word because as much as it’s cool it reminds me of the word moist

heart ?

he’s got that swagger that only people who talk in comic sans can have

re e e ed re e e ed

“sleeping is more fun than corrupting timelines” sleeping is more fun than a lot of thng - but i feel like corrupting timelines would be fun

is sans gay😨❓

i feel like i’m reading this wrong

manipulate manwhore mansplain

his special attack- he turns into an anime girl with plot armor - oh no he just pulls a rachel dare funsies

he saved the day with the power of bad puns (And a slipper) And a slipper

(Also who tf were you asking who was gay for who) idk who tf he is but he was like “there was this guy” and that was my first thought sjsnskdnsk😭 (WHICH GUY WHATD HE LOOK LIKE???) IDK EVIL??? (WAS HE THE TALL MOTHER FUCKER WITH WEIRD BLACK STRIPEY EYES THAT MET WITH INK? I NEED TO KNOW BECAUSE HE MIGHT BE GAY) -proceeds to investigate who the supposed gay man is- (I WAS RIGHT IT IS THE TALL MOTHER FUCKER WITH WEIRD BLACK STRIPEY EYES) WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (IM A FFUCKING GENIUS WITH GUESSING THIS SHIT) GOOD OR BAD? (no he's not gay, you'll find more about him later)

god he’s a mood

OO THE ERROR GUY

go girl give us nothing

This is just from the first two episodes, be ready for more

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mysyerious · 2 years

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CIGARETTES & DIOR 1

with some editing here and beta reading by @raelwrites the loml, my biggest motivator, there, we have a first part to the series!

—enemies steve harrington X reader, follows along with 'weirdo on maple street'

[if anyone wants to be tagged let me know]

For the general population of Hawkins high school, Steve Harrington was the ultimate wet dream. Relatively tall, relatively kind, relatively handsome. It seems, though, you had somehow missed that memo. To you, Harrington wasn’t a dream. He was, plain and simple, a nightmare.

It wasn’t like you hated the guy exactly. It was just that everything Steve did seemed to grate your teeth and boil your blood. From his incessant need to constantly preen to his stupid laugh and even stupider hair, it was like he existed solely to torture you.

Okay, so maaaybe you hated the guy. Just a tiny bit. But in your defence, Steve was also dating Nancy, so you felt it only appropriate to scowl and express distaste because alongside being one of the worst people you’ve had the displeasure of knowing, he also just had to date Nancy Wheeler, your best friend of 4 years.

And as her long-time best friend, all it took was a glance at your watch to know she would be coming down the hall in the next 10 minutes with Barbara in tow. You three were a package deal. Where one was, the other two were bound to be near-by if not right there.

Which is why, when you feel a presence stop behind you, you’re already calling out a greeting to the pair, “Hey guys—” you turn to face them after you close your locker, grinning when you realise you were, once again, correct in your assumption of when Nance and Barb would show up. “What’s up?”

It was Nancy who speaks, drawing your attention with your name, “—, you’re free for the rest of today, right?”

“Oh, I’m doing great actually, thanks for asking Nance. What about you, Barb?”

“I’m quite alright today. Though, we do have something we wanted to ask you, if you happen to be free later today that is.”

“Well, how nice to hear you are thriving, to answer your question I don’t think I have any plans set up for after school. Did you have something in mind?”

“Okay, okay— guys! Glad to hear you’re doing good—” Nancy interrupts and you chime in with a quick ‘great, actually’ before she moves on. “If you are in fact free, do you want to come with us to a party tonight?”

“Now, was that so hard?” you throw an arm around Nancy’s shoulder, jostling her petite frame. “Also, it’s a Tuesday— literally who hosts a party on a fucking Tuesday?”

“It’s at St—” Barb clears her throat, “some guys house. Could be fun.”

“C’mon, we can pick you up. I’ll even let you have the front seat,” Nancy says and that does sway your choice, because upon Barb getting her license, you three had collectively decided that the passenger seat passenger had sole access to the radio. Consequently, it has always been become a competition between you and Nance as to who would reach the right side first— shotgun privilege long since abandoned in favour of a mad dash to the car.

“Yeah, yeah alright. Fine, what time do I have to be ready by?”

“8-ish will work. Gives you enough time to convince your parents and find something to wear.”

“Convince my parents? Pshh, I’d just tell ‘em I have to go to some guys house at 8-ish on a Tuesday evening— that’s totally enough for them to let me go.” You can’t help but be a little petty. “But it’s fine, Nancy and Barb will be there, how could you say no to them?”

Nancy nudges you and you giggle, slipping out a ‘I’m kidding’ between giggles. “I already said I’d come, c’mon, when have I ever let you guys down?”

You almost wanted to let them down.

The more you paced around your room getting ready, the more you thought about how suspicious the girls were acting. Sure, you didn’t really care who it was or when or where, but even then, you could appreciate having some more information than ‘some guys house’, ‘8-ish’, and ‘could be fun’.

You quickly spritzed your perfume when a car honked outside of your house and grabbed your jacket as you left your room. Shoes came next, and with a final ‘bye’ to your parents, you were leaving the house.

When you spied Nancy already in the passenger seat, you groaned and jogged over to the back. Despite your jacket, the night was as cold as most November nights were and you weren’t about to stand outside and wait for her to swap seats with you when she hadn’t while waiting for you to join them.

“So, was front-seat privilege just a ploy to get me to come, then?” you ask, though it wasn’t the first time Nancy bribed you with radio access only to take it away soon after.

“I never said it would be going to the party, you can sit in front when Barb drops you off home again,”

You huff and relax into the middle seat. Leave it to Nancy to find some loophole.

“So, can I finally know where we’re going?”

“You’ll find out when we get there.” Comes the reply from Barb.

“How long’s the drive?” you begin to pester.

“If you want, you can count the minutes.”

“Who’s gonna be there?”

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

You groan. “You’re no fun.”

“Barbara, pull over.” Nancy suddenly exclaimed. You sit up, shuffling to stare out of the window, but are met with disappointment when one side faces the woods and the other pans out into an unfamiliar neighbourhood. Again, you are left with more questions than answers and slouch into your seat.

“He just wants to get in your pants,” Barbara scoffs.

Wait, what?

“Uh— guys, who’s trying to get into who’s pants?” you lean forward, unbuckling the seatbelt when it tries to pull you back.

“Steve—” Barbara begins, but you’re already grimacing and voicing your displeasure at just the mention of his name.

“What? Wait— so we’re going to Steve’s then? And neither of you felt it fit to tell me that? What the fuck?”

“He invited Nance to his house; his parents aren’t home…” Barbara lists and you gag.

“Again, might I add— what the fuck?” and now the unfamiliarity makes sense. If Steve Harrington lived around here somewhere, you would’ve found every means possible to avoid being here.

“Come on, you are not this stupid.” Barbara continues and you hum in agreement. It was probably her that insisted you not be told any of the details in the first place.

“Tommy H and Carol are gonna be there.” Nancy defends and you can’t help laughing.

“Tommy and Carol have been having sex since, like, seventh grade— that’s a shit excuse.” You pause. “Wait— Tommy and Carol are gonna be there? Man, what the fuck.”

“It’ll probably just be, like, a big orgy.” At Barb’s comment, you recoil back into your seat with a grimace, mentally trying to track how long it would take to walk home.

A glance to the girls in the front has your brows furrowing in confusion. “Uh— why are you stripping?” Nancy throws her jumper at you, and you quickly throw it back. “Put it back on it’s like sub-zero outside, weirdo.”

“Is that a new bra?” Barbara questions with a face of disbelief. A quick glance tells you yes, despite the girl’s negative reply. You’ve perused through both of their closets enough to recognise that you did not recognise that bra.

“Jesus, if you wanted to fuck you could’ve found a hook-up. Why’d you have to date Harrington? He’s probably a mediocre fuck, at best, anyway.”

Your comment has Barb giggling, and she opens the car door before asking, “How would you even know?”

You smirk, stepping out of the car to join them. “With that hair?” you slam the door shut. “He’s gotta be overcompensating for something.”

“All I’m saying is, you need to consult your friends before making these sorts of big decisions.” You were gesticulating wildly, needing a way to both warm yourself and release the slurry of emotions churning inside of you. “And, honestly, as a proud Harrington Hater, I feel like my opinion should count for something more than all the others who faun of him, you know? At least I’m unbiased,” you say, even though you were probably just as biased, if not more.

“—, chill,” Nancy calls back to you.

“I’m chill!”

Except, when the double doors in front of you open, you begin to bounce on the balls of your feet. Barbara puts her arm around your shoulders, and you smile.

“Hello ladies,” Steve greets.

Your smile drops.

“Hello—” he grits your name out. There was a half-formed hope in you that it would shatter his teeth as he said it.

“Your highness,” you mock with a bow. If you’re stuck here, might as well have a little fun. “So, King Steve, what’s on the agenda for tonight? Beheading peasants?” you push past Steve, knocking against the arm he had on his hip.

“Wow how did you guess?” he answers, monotone voice and straight face, “that’s exactly why I thought to have you come.”

You grin. “Aw, shucks. You think about me?” with a flourish, you remove your jacket and drape it over the banister. Better to leave it right by the door in case of quick emergency exit.

Nancy pulls Steve along before he can respond, and you and Barb follow behind the pair. Every so often, you make a comment about the décor to Barb and even though the interior isn’t bad, you would sooner rip off a nail than compliment anything about Harrington.

When the shrieking began from Carol, you immediately throw out your disdain for the pool, “If anyone so much as thinks about throwing me in, I’ll cut your hair off while you sleep.” Though you probably wouldn’t actually do that, it was enough of a threat that even Nancy threw you a side glance.

“Ugh, that’s not even remotely attractive,” you sneer, watching as Steve shotguns one of the beers form the cooler. You sit down in the chair beside Barbara. “How did that—” you nod your head in the direction of Nancy and Steve. “Even happen? They’re like, polar opposites.”

“Yeah, she’s smart you douche!” Tommy shouts out which gains your attention because Tommy being right was a once in a blue moon occurrence. He followed that statement up by crushing a can against his head and chucking it to the ground. Yeah, once in a blue moon.

When you look over at Steve and Nancy, you can’t help but groan, “Oh, come one Nance, you’re not seriously gonna shotgun that are you?”

You were ignored in favour of Steve starting a chant as Nancy pulled open the tab. Tommy and Carol joined in, speeding up and then hollering when Nancy threw the can on the ground, empty.

“Barb, you wanna try?” Nancy asked, already moving towards the cooler.

“What? No.” You shook your head along with Barb. “No, I don’t want to. Thanks.”

Nancy picked up a can and Steve tries to goad Barbara.

“It’s fun! Just give it a—” Nancy is cut off, though, by yet another soft protest from Barb.

“Nance, she just said no. cut it out.” You protest, sitting up and preparing to stand if necessary.

“Just— just give it a shot.” With that, Barb throws a reassuring smile your way and stands to take the can and knife. You watch, tense, form your seated position just behind her as she moved the small blade to puncture the can. Even before the motion was made, you were beginning to stand and when Barb suddenly dropped the can and blade all together in a hiss of pain, you huddled up to her and inspected her hand.

“Fuckin’ told you it was stupid.” You grumble, glancing from Barb’s hand to her face, trying to gauge how serious the cut is in the dark.

“Where’s your bathroom?” Barb asked, voice shaky, though Steve quickly stood and provided directions. Past the kitchen and to the left, easy enough to remember.

“He better have a first aid kit in there,” you mumble, opening the door for Barb before stepping in after her. “How’s the hand? Does it feel swollen at all? Heating up?”

As you rummage through the cabinets, Barb questions, “Heating up? Is that meant to happen?” she takes a seat on the closed toiled lid, smiling faintly at the sight of you rushing around as much as you could in the enclosed space. “I’m okay, really. It looks worse than it is, I promise.”

You hum, and then voice an ‘aha!’ when you manage to find both a disinfectant for cuts and some bandages.

“I’ll only believe you if you let me take care of it—” you start, moving to crouch next to the girl and taking her injured hand in yours. “This’ll sting, probably.” You warn, hovering a disinfectant soaked cloth over the cut before beginning to clean the blood, stopping every so often as Barb flinches.

After a few minutes of cleaning, you grab the bandages and wrap them around the cut. “Et voila! Cleaned and bandaged. Can’t promise it’s any good, but it’s wrapped.” you tie off the gauze. “C’mon, let’s go find Nance before she goes missing.”

The both of you exit the bathroom giggling, though it dies the second you spot Nancy on the stairs, wrapped in a towel, with Steve just ahead of her.

“Nance!” you call out.

“Nancy,” Barbara joins, “where are you going?”

“Nowhere… just, upstairs. To change. I… fell in the pool. Why don’t you go ahead and go home, I’ll just… I’ll get a ride or something.”

“What the fuck?” you whisper.

“Nance…” She repeats your names back at you. “This isn’t you.”

“I’m fine.” And that sounded final. “Just… go ahead and go home, okay?” She turns and hurries up the remaining stairs and you scoff.

“Fucking hell.” You rest your hands on your hips. “I mean, we can go back to mine? We can make some food and binge the tapes left from last week.” You move to grab your jacket that should be hanging over the banister. It’s not there.

“Pretty sure one of those fucks took my jacket— hold on.” You quickly move to the stairs, taking two at a time to get upstairs quicker. Barb calls from the entryway,

“I’ll just be outside.”

You shout back an agreement before moving down the hallway, knocking on the doors you pass by as loud as you could, knowing that it would be only the party guests in the household. “Hey, shitheads! Where’s my jack— oh.” It lays discarded on a table in the hallway, slightly rumpled but otherwise unharmed.

You scoop it up, patting the pockets to make sure nothing was missing and hop down the stairs to meet with Barb.

“Got my jacket.” You open the front door, but Barbara isn’t there. “Barb?” you call out, looking around before moving back inside. “Barb, where’d you go?” you check the poolside, but she isn’t there either. The chairs are undisturbed, and the trees are silent.

“Well, then…” you shrug your jacket on, casting a sweeping glance over the yard but you can’t spot the ginger anywhere. “More food for me then, assholes.”

#cigarettes & dior #steve harrington x enemy reader #steve x enemy reader #steve harrington x reader #steve x reader

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cariebishop · 2 years

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Out of curiosity I made the decision to lurk around the anti stancy tag.

I keep seeing people talking, mostly jancy shippers, about how stancy shippers don't take into account Nancy's hopes and dreams. I’m wondering exactly how that is.

Let’s start by establishing what Nancy’s hopes and dreams are. What has Nancy said explicitly out of her mouth? And what was told to her by Jonathan or Barb or Murray? And how would ending up with Steve prevent her from not achieving any of her goals? A frequently cited sequence is the one when Nancy and Jonathan discuss their families while shooting cans. The crux of what Nancy says during the scene is that she doesn't want to be bored in a bourgeois, suburban life and stuck in a loveless, appearance-driven marriage (which is also something that both Steve and Jonathan don’t want either). "We like Steve, but we don't love Steve" is said by someone who only met Nancy two minutes ago, has never even met Steve, and has never seen the two interact. How can we trust that? And even if we do trust that, why does that mean that Nancy can't fall in love with Steve during the 4th season? I say this not to lessen the importance of Nancy’s ambitions and dreams of becoming a reporter, she’s a badass girlboss and I respect that with everything in my heart and mind, but only so we can keep things clear. Especially during the first and second season Nancy has a lot of people, namely Barb, Jonathan and Murray, telling her who she is and who she actually should be, and I think it’s really important to separate what Nancy says about herself versus what others say about her.

Nancy has never stated out loud on the show that she never wanted kids. Furthermore, during the scene in the R V Steve never said that it absolutely had to be six kids and it’s a dealbreaker otherwise. Steve was sharing a dream, not a legit plan for the future. Steve said six because there are six kids in The Party (Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Will, Max and Eleven). If they end up together who's to say they never get married, or they never have kids, or they have two or three, and/or adopt? How would Steve not be an absolute wifeguy as Nancy goes out becoming the most amazing reporter, always there to support her? How does their team-up during the 4th season not show that they would be just as equal a partnership as Jonathan and Nancy? And Nancy's face while Steve is talking doesn't look like she's hearing a nightmare. There is no way I could even interepret it as uncomfortable. She has a genuine smile.

THAT SOUNDS NICE!!!!! If this was tumblr in 2015 I would follow this by shouting “LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK”. People get hung up on the six kids, but Steve also describes traveling the country, having adventures and learning to surf, not staying trapped in a cul-de-sac.

As Natalia Dyer said in a recent interview with Vulture, Nancy is now a much more confident and secure person. There is no doubt in my mind that the Nancy Wheeler of Season four knows exactly who she is. If she ends up with Jonathan, or Steve, or Robin, or someone she hasn’t met yet, it will be for the right reasons. If Nancy chooses Steve (and I have every belief that it will be Nancy making a “Reader, I married him” choice) it will be because she knows that he will be the best partner for her as she becomes a world-class reporter.

#stranger things #stancy #anti stancy #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #the anti stancy tag is there so maybe they could see this #I dunno #this is a long ranty ramble that probably doesn't make any sense #so if you read this thank you

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forthesanityofstorytellers · 1 year

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15 Tags 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @bloodlessheirbyjacques

Ty! ❤️

I'll go ahead and do Becks. She's easily the one that's on my mind the most rn.

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1. Are you named after anyone?

Pretty sure I was named after a plant. But my current name, no. It was chosen for me and then I chopped it up so it could be used either by me or my partner.

2. When was the last time you cried?

It depends. I cried when my girlfriend showed back up. Well. I teared up. Happy tears. She wasn't...there wasn't anything wrong. She's just been gone for a few weeks and I've...there's been a lot going on and I missed her.

If you mean cry cry...I had a vampiric-induced nightmare. Woke up and called my boyfriend and cried when he answered the phone because it was proof he hadn't packed up his things and left me.

3. Do you have kids?

Two. One that I birthed. That was...interesting. Neither one of them can seem to control their magic very well. It's easier with the older one, Lily, as she understands the context of her magic. My younger one is...uhm...Well let's put it this way. Lily just pulled free of a lock on her magic and has spent the last hundred or so years with barely any access and therefore barely any control. But she's learning. Misolis was born about...what, five or six months ago? Already looks somewhere between three and four. She just created four mud frogs and a mud snake and brought them to life, all using her magic, and is in the process of teaching the other little ones despite having barely any control of her own. She sort of listens to me and her da, is already finding and working loopholes to win arguments, and somehow believes that I lie and her da is incapable of the same...which would make you laugh if you knew us. She's got her own version of the world and can't be argued out of it once she's got an idea. She's...*sigh*...She's quite a little tornado of events.

But again...if you knew what family she came from, none of this would exactly be a surprise. Well. It would be but it wouldn't be.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Me? No. I never do. Why on earth would I use sarcasm. It's not like it's hilarious in the right context and sometimes the only way to answer stupid questions. But no. Not me. I'm not sarcastic at all.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their magic. Or life signature. Body language tells me a lot. I guess the real answer about the first thing I notice about people is how many secrets they think they can keep from me.

6. What's your eye colour?

...Brown? Maybe black. I don't know. Is it important?

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Seeing as how my life could be classified as a scary movie sometimes, I prefer happy endings.

8. Any special interests?

Mm. Define special. I used to be a PI and buried myself in the work so hard I barely had time for anything else. My interests back then were things like body language, minor facial expressions, and anything else that furthered my line of work. I did like to hunt.

But now that I'm...here...I've picked up the guitar again and have been thinking about going electric. Otherwise I'm...still trying to figure it out.

9. Where were you born?

In a forest. Where were you born?

10. What are your hobbies?

I suppose thinking of the consequences of my daughter's unleashed magic doesn't count.

I've been working a lot of magical theory lately and carving wood pieces. Thought about pursuing dancing or playing guitar again, like I said. But like I also said, I'm still...working on it.

11. Do you have any pets?

Does a magically-created mud-moss-vine equine-ish creature count?

If not, then no. Although I did have an actual horse back in the 1800s. He was a sweetheart.

...what's with the lo- Oh. The collar. That's uh...that's not for a pet. Next question.

12. What sports do you play / have played?

I used to run. A lot.

...

But I don't think that's what you meant.

13. How tall are you?

Tall as I want to be.

14. Favourite subject in school?

I...Uh...I didn't exactly have...'school'. Grew up in a forest around the mid...or maybe late...1500s and spend most of my time with my mother. Who was a sprite. Sprite children are born knowing what they need to know, so sprites don't exactly understand this idea of 'school'. My father taught me what I'd need to know if I was to pass as human, but most of the things I remember were magically-oriented.

...I suppose I enjoyed reading and writing. Not that it helped much after I left. He taught me what he knew, which didn't include English, Spanish, or any of the other places I wound up in. Although I did have music lessons once I got to Spain and those were good days.

15. Dream Job

I don't actually know. I've had a lot of things I've done over the years. Mostly to survive. A few of them were jobs. Never really stopped to dream. Never really risked it, if I'm honest. Well, no. When I was younger I didn't dream of jobs. I didn't know what a job was. By the time I was old enough to have learned the concept, I was beyond the point of dreaming for anything beyond the next sunrise. Then I believed dreams were a poison only the young and foolish were dumb enough to drink.

Now, though...

If I had a dream it would be being allowed to be a mother, girlfriend, and friend in peace and to see those I love happy and safe.

Pretty sure that's not a job. Feels like a job to help keep us safe, though.

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No pressure tags!

@sleepyowlwrites/@knmartinshouldbewriting/@concealeddarkness13/@pens-swords-stuff/@pen-of-roses/@magic-is-something-we-create/@mjjune/@vacantgodling/@ryns-ramblings/and open tag for the rest!

#15 tags 15 mutuals #tag games #writeblr #Becks

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michpat6 · 1 year

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I was tagged by @wanderingnightingale to reflect on seven creative things I’ve done in 2022, so here they are under the cut because is it really me if im not rambling 😂. thank you for the tag! anyone who sees this and wants to give it a go themselves, have at it!

1. as the sun sets on this world

my botw zelda and wolf link fic! this was an idea that came to me after I wanted to somehow incorporate wolf link's presence in botw into a story, but couldn't find a way to make it seem natural in a larger plot, so I kept it contained to this one-shot where he shows up and helps zelda take the master sword to korok forest after botw link's death.

it's not a super popular fic due to the strangeness of the idea, but I really like the character dynamics in the fic, especially the one between a damaged, unnamed fi who's trying to soothe a freshly-traumatized zelda. something something zelda finally getting a chance to talk to the very thing that "taunted" her her entire life, something something fi coming to terms with the fact that she's once again "failed" a Hero. i also loved writing the spooky nightmares that zelda has.

2. lightning in a bottle (flashing before my eyes)

my urbosa/zelda's mom fic is one that is very close to my heart. urbosa is one of my favorite zelda characters, and I love being able to make up a backstory for her that's worthy of the amazing character that she is (kind of. botw's characters besides zelink are all very flat but it's FINE it's why im WRITING THIS FIC. she's an amazing character in my head).

I just...she's so cool??? she's so confident and badass??? where does that come from how did she become that person??? why can she wield lightning??? I wanted to answer all of those questions that I had about her that wasn't just the most obvious answers of, "she balances out/soothes zelda's anxieties and gives us backstory on those anxieties. her lightning is a really sick game mechanic so she just has it to give it to link after she dies". also why would the game mention her deep connection to zelda's mom if they WEREN'T in love? of COURSE I have to write their love story and what it meant for urbosa to love a woman who was gone too soon, and whose daughter is in desperate need of guidance that only she can provide by emulating her mother and saying what her mother would say. urbosa's confidence is genuine, a product of her life up to the point that we see her, but it's also a way for her to give Zelda her mother for even just a moment.

in going in-depth on urbosa, I also get to go in-depth on zelda's mom, and I love zelda's mom. I've actually stolen her personality and such from a character from one of my original fiction ideas, so it wasn't exactly hard to come up with who she is, but honestly the hardest part of creating zelda's mom was picking her name. I was originally going to call her Rose so her name would be "Zelda Rose Hyrule", as it sounds nice as just "Zelda Rose", but I ended up going with Faye ("Zelda Faye"/"Zelda Faye Hyrule") because as I was implanting the personality of one of my characters onto her, Rose just didn't fit anymore. I felt it was too "gentle" of a name for this woman who is anything but that. no offense to anyone named Rose. I also love weaving in these little similarities between the queen of hyrule and botw zelda, because even though they're two completely different young women they're undeniably similar in a way that only mothers and daughters can be.

this fic only has two chapters out of ten posted. I am Trying. chapter three will happen eventually.

3. the goddess's chosen guardian

my short little impa fic! I love her so much!

this fic is just me going crazy over impa. I was literally in the car driving home from work one day, got stuck in traffic, and then "wrote" this whole thing about impa and sheikah culture and whatnot in my head and then I got home, opened up my laptop, and wrote for four hours until the whole thing was out of my brain. then I posted it on ao3 like two minutes later.

I don't even know, I just wanted to go in-depth about how cool impa is, because the idea of her as a whole, someone who isn't mentioned in any of hyrule's prophecies but is central to protecting the Goddess's bloodline??? you're telling me impa is "just a side character"??? she's the reason for all of the legends of zelda even coming to pass, as she protects the existence of a girl with hylia's blood (and the longevity of hyrule's royal family), which snowballs into the reason why ganon wants to destroy the world and then why link gets called upon to stop him. she's arguably even the reason ganon gets defeated if you go back far enough in the butterfly effect, because if zelda dies what the hell is link supposed to do once he kicks ganon's ass? he has no idea how to seal evil in another realm, the only magic he knows comes from items he finds in dungeons and spinning his sword really fast. zelda is the triforce of wisdom, and without impa most of the time the triforce of wisdom is lost.

she's just so freaking awesome. how could I not write something about how she becomes who she is?

4. with every drop of rain singin'

mitski should be put in prison for writing pink in the night does she even know what she's done to me????

this was my fic for zelink week back in july, and it was supposed to be a one-shot. like...5k MAX. then it became 30k broke out into three chapters. I don't know where my energy for long one-shots like my fi fic went, but I just have to break stuff up now and therefore I am cursed to forever say "oh this is a one-shot" and then have like three additional chapters because I can't stop adding stuff. this is what it means to be a writer.

this fic is weird, because it's so different from my usual writing in that it's strangely profound. I don't even know what happened one second I was writing about zelda having amnesia after sealing the calamity and the next second I had link philosophizing about love and what it meant for him to barely remember someone who couldn't remember themselves. he wanted answers, that's why he became the Hero, but instead he's the one having to give them even though he doesn't know anything for sure. it's a fun reversal! I also got to play with stream of consciousness for the first time in years, which is why there are gigantic paragraphs and run-on sentences as link rambles to himself trying to figure out what's going on and his feelings surrounding this zelda who is nothing like the one he vaguely remembers.

5. a thing that doesn't change with time

this fic is a testament to how deeply I will commit to the bit, because it's not even a bit anymore. this is serious. I've convinced myself that this npc merchant is secretly god and hiding the secrets of the universe in his beetle-shaped backpack. he helped build skyloft. he knew skyward sword impa. he's never tired when you go up to him in skyward sword or botw he's LYING to all of us for his own personal amusement because he's been alive for millions of years and got bored one day. I know him on a deeper level than anyone else in this fandom (this is a joke, unless it's not, look at what I just said), I know this to be true. my uncle works at nintendo.

all jokes aside though, this fic is a MONSTER just like the previous one. almost 30k and I still have the last chapter to write. it's an exercise in world building and character crafting on a level that I haven't operated/written on in six years, and when I finish this fic (and if I think hard enough to take away all of the "zelda"-isms) I can probably turn it into a whole original story and have a solid 30-40k little novel on my hands about a man who unwillingly becomes a god and fights tooth and nail to retain his mortality. I genuinely love this idea and I literally cannot look at beedle without going, "I know what you are".

6. overdue

I've written some other smut on my account, but this is the fic that my practice ones had been building to, and I think I was better for it. it was fun to write, albeit difficult because I could barely keep a straight face when I was reading it back to myself, trying to make it the best that it could be, and honestly my favorite part of it is the comedic ending when botw zelink is finally done boinking in the library's secret room and they get called out by impa.

7. ignorance is bliss

this is the only non-zelda fic on the list, being for the chainsaw man fandom and a lesbian rarepair. even though this year I've also written an attack on titan and a batman fic, this is the one that I like the most out of the three fandoms that I've ventured out into writing for.

to really go in-depth would be to spoil the new anime, as it spoils something major, but I like the dynamic I've made between the two characters the fic is about, how they speak to each other and how they "love" each other, as both of them have no idea what it is to love. there's also another heaping of smut in here, but it's not "sexy" smut, so it was a first try at writing intimacy in a way that wasn't really intimate at all, which I think I was wayyyyyyy better at. apparently I can't write anything properly if it's not angsty dkfjhsdjkghksdg

#michpatfics #asks #zelda fic #botw fic #zelink fic #zelink #botw #breath of the wild #link #zelda #the legend of zelda #loz #loz fic #zelda fanfiction #zelink fanfiction #urbosa #urbosa fic #csm #csm spoilers

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lananiscorner · 2 years

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The Sandman rewatch - episode 9

So I like to do this thing where, if I didn’t consider a show a complete waste of time and if it does have an actual arc spanning the season, I watch the season twice–once as a binge watch and then once more episode by episode, because it helps me notice things I didn’t notice at first, especially in cases like this where I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with the source material.

Anyway, any and all chronological thoughts and ramblings about episode 9 of The Sandman beneath the cut, because spoilers.

“I don’t know how she did it, but I think Rose just got Lyta pregnant.” That’s a good way to start a convo, Matthew lol.

I love Lucienne’s malicious compliance with her “new” old role. And Matthew is so offended on her behalf. XD

Okay, so we can expand the list of “people the Corinthian is good with and let’s live” from “like-minded serial killers and gays” to “like-minded serial killers, gays and kids” lol.

This “cereal convention” is honestly the best fictional idea ever. Like, it crosses more lines than a bunch of hopscotching kids. Also, as an avid pun lover myself, I appreciate all the murder puns when Jed and the Corinthian arrive at the convention.

The Good Doctor looking at a fellow criminal chatting up Jed: “You may want to advise him to stay clear of the convention areas” lol.

“Where we’re going, we won’t need to defend ourselves” says Rose heading towards a convention of serial killers XDDDD.

Okay… so Lyta’s pregnancy advanced a couple of months in her dreams…

Hector: “Does this look like a nightmare to you?” Lyta: “Not at all.” Giant cracks in the ground: *looming ominously*

Omg, Dream is so fish-out-of-water asking Lucienne for advice/help lol.

Omg, Unity is so sweet it’s heartbreaking. “I’m going to have a life after all.” You’re killing me here, Unity.

Awww, Rose is worried she and her brother may have changed too much to get along. Understandable. That cut to Jed eating chicken fingers in his bathrobe is gold though.

And of course Jed goes looking for trouble the second he’s unsupervised. This is why I will never have kids.

Alright so, taking Hector out of the dreaming after giving him a chance to say goodbye? Fair. Immediately aftwards telling Lyta that you’ll take away her baby eventually? Kind of a dick move, Dream.

Not gonna lie, Rose this-dream-is-over-ing Dream was kind of badass.

Damn, Rose just casually swiping those tags…

I just LOVE this entire montage of Gilbert checking in on those convention panels. You can see he’s mildly confused in the first one (“Make it pay”, which, if you don’t yet know that they are serial killers, sounds like it could be about animal hunting), somewhat perplexed in the second one (“Woman’s Work”, which sounds mostly innocuous until the mention of “brute force” in the end), and then finally the shoe drops in the last one (“Religion”) and he just has a massive “oh crap” moment.

Oh my god, Philip Sitz has to be THE worst ultra-fan ever. Seriously? Promoting your own blog with your own photo and your own RL name on it when you’re trying to infiltrate a serial killer convention? He couldn’t be more set up to get killed if he was called Leeroy Jenkins and wearing a red shirt.

Also, Gilbert’s look of absolute horror when he sees the Corinthian makes sense when you know that Gilbert is also part of the Dreaming.

Awww, Dream admitting to Lucienne that he was wrong… these two melt my heart. In a strictly platonic way, but still, melting.

So Gilbert left because he wanted to experience life in the human world. Can’t blame him, honestly.

Of course Jed walks in on the Corinthian just as he’s about to kill Philip… and runs straight into Fun Land. Talk about the fish jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

Poor Gilbert learning about Rose being a vortex and that he’s now made it easier for Dream to find and kill her.

#The Sandman #episode 9 rewatch #rest in pieces Philip Sitz #you were too dumb to live

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kitsunes-multiverse · 2 years

Text

Got You in My Sights

Chapter 1: The First Text

"Alice, Carrie, I'm home!"

Jesse called, walking into his home. A little girl with tannish skin and short strawberry pink hair came running down the steps, excitement in her big, purple eyes. Her older sister, a teenager with much longer, blonde hair and violet-red eyes, followed after in a more casual pace. These two were Carrie and Alice respectively- the adoptive daughters that Jesse had mentioned.

"Hi dad! Welcome home!" Carrie chirped, throwing herself at her dad as she gave him a hug.

"Didja make any new friends?" Alice asked, leaning against a wall as Jesse scooped Carrie up in his arms.

"I made one, yes. Her name's Kitsune." Jesse responded.

"Ooo~! A girlfriend? Even better!" Alice teased, smirking a bit.

Carrie let out a small gasp. "Girlfriend?! Does that mean we're gonna have a mom?!" She asked, staring up at her dad with hopeful eyes.

Jesse shook his head, trying to ignore the slight blush in his cheeks. He wasn't sure why that remark caught him off guard so much. He just wasn't used to hearing such things, he figured. "No, no, it isn't anything like that. We just met at the bar, and we talked for a few hours. That's all there is to it." He stated.

That's when he suddenly remembered what she said. She had apparently slipped him some sort of 'surprise'. "Ah, speaking of which, apparently she slipped something into my pocket... Not quite sure how she did that without my noticing, but let's see." He said, more so to himself than to his daughters.

After fishing around in his pocket, he managed to find a small sheet of paper. There's no way that this was what he thought it was, right? Pulling it out, he found a small, folded piece of paper. Unfolding it, he discovered a phone number written in red pen alongside the initials 'K.R.Q'.

He blinked, staring at it in surprise. 'This is... her phone number, isn't it? When and how did she do this without my noticing?' He thought to himself. "It... It appears as though she left me with her phone number." He stated, his voice giving off how surprised he was.

Alice giggled, smirking a bit. "Maybe she likes you~!" She sang.

Jesse huffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, it's only been a few hours. There's no way she could like me in that way- not that quickly." He stated.

"Maybe, maybe not, but I guess we'll see." The blonde remarked, yawning. "Anyways, I'm tired. C'mon Care, let's get ready for bed and let dad call his new girlfriend." She said, turning and walking up the stairs.

"Ok!" Carrie chirped, following after her older sister.

Jesse sighed, facepalming. As much as he loved his teenage daughter, she definitely loved to tease him and Carrie on occasion. He wasn't even remotely surprised this was happening, if he was honest. Regardless, he decided to try and message the number.

After putting the number in, he sent a quick message. "Kitsune? This is you, right?"

Before long, he got a reply. "Yep, yep! This is me. Hi Jesse! Get home safe?"

Jesse smiled a bit, walking into the living room and sitting on the couch. "Indeed I did- I'm assuming you did too. How did you manage to slip that paper into my pocket without me noticing?" He asked.

"You were kinda spacing out on occasion, so it was easy. Speaking of which, be sure to get some sleep, yeah? It's getting late. Talk to you tomorrow?" Kitsune texted in reply.

"Yes, of course. Goodnight, Kitsune. Sleep well." And with that, Jesse stood and headed for his room. Hopefully tonight he wouldn't have any issues sleeping this time around. His nightmares had started to haunt him again, it seemed.

He sighed a bit. He had a new friend now, and she was completely oblivious to his past. And quite frankly, he'd rather it'd stay that way. Yet at the same time... Perhaps talking about it would do him some good. Regardless, it was too early for him in their new friendship to talk about such things.

Perhaps if they got closer, then maybe he'd actually consider doing so.

(Tag list: @arc-carnes @drsweetsonia @tessathepeanut @sarahthebookdragon )

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clairethecutepup · 2 months

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The Dreams and Nightmares We Share... (Ch. 2)

Chapter Title: The "Dream Team" Completed

Claire tries processing everything and, more importantly, what to do next. Unfortunately, it’s not easy for the little wolf-girl… If only her best friend were here, his superior mind could find an answer sooner-- or actually offer any suggestion, in general. Unfortunately, the prior events don’t help: the lingering feelings of terror cause her mind further hindrance than usual…

First, some “pig-hybrids” screamed and panicked at the sight of her, then two “full-humans” also treated her like a monster! Yet, Claire found the former bunch odd… Sure, it’s possible for some hybrids to appear like anthropomorphic animals, thus nicknamed “anthros,” but such bodies are highly rare. Usually, paws or extra fur would be the only further addition to standard tails and ears-- excluding the paw pads found on almost any hybrid’s hands and feet. So, why were many “anthros” walking around like that…?

Come to think of it, those full-humans were odd, too… Hybrids and those fully human are equally common, the former even outnumbering the latter in Claire’s town, so why the reactions toward her-- especially questioning what she is? Better question: how did Claire even get to this town? All she remembers is climbing out of this very log, then seeing if she could find any friends or family. Claire begins to sniffle, feeling terrified she’ll never find her way back home; and from everyone suddenly seeming to dislike and fear her, for whatever reason... What if it escalates to where someone tries harming her?

“Hi there!”

Claire jolts up, worried it’s another person who’ll panic over her… When she turns toward the voice, she spots Alexis: the goat-girl grins at her, from the opened end of the hollowed tree trunk. Claire immediately trembles and her wolf ears hang atop her head. Holy crap, this other girl seemed terrifying: Alexis’ “gothic” appearance, combined with the sharp horn and hooved fingers, made for an intimidating complement of her magenta eyes’ unnerving red shade! The unkempt hair further discomforted the pup, by adding a touch of: “I’m unhinged and chaotic!”

Claire doesn’t instantly flee, but the thought does sit in the back of her head. At the very least, this person acted a bit friendlier... Alexis frowns and lies a finger against her chin. She might be eccentric, but Alexis is no ignorant ditz: she’d never laugh at some “funny-looking” tree and ignore how its squirrels are maiming Seve, only to acknowledge a “lucky penny” she found beside the dead boy thereafter. Hmm, how could Alexis show she only wants to see how amazingly “weird-looking” Claire was, no harm intended? … Wait, that actually sounds like it’d come out quite mean, now that she thinks about it.

Perhaps Alexis should phrase it as: “wanting to see how amazingly cool she looks”? Though, Alexis finds “cute” a better term: it’s easier to imagine Claire tugging on one’s sleeve, while dragging a stuffed animal in her other paw, than it’d be to fantasize her pulling up on a motorcycle-- sunglasses, jacket and cigar included (was she even old enough to smoke?). Well, however Alexis plans to handle it, she’ll have to be gentle and the usual friendly. If it worked with getting a pet raccoon one time, maybe it can work with appealing to this weird other girl?

… Okay, it wasn’t exactly “getting a new pet” in the sense of parental approval and all, but having Claire warm up to her likely wouldn’t end in some house getting half-destroyed, right?

“Hey, it’s okay…” Alexis regains her grin, “We’re all friends here! I’m Alexis, what’s your name?”

For convenience, Claire would answer by collar tag: she hesitantly gets closer, slightly keeping herself turned away, before offering the circular piece of her neckwear.

“Thatta girl!” Alexis pats her head, taking the tag, “Now, let’s see… ‘Clarissa Vlc--’... Uh, ‘Villl-kek’...?” Alexis squints her eyes and leans closer to the tag, unable to figure out the surname, “Um, okay,” she leans back and smiles, “how about we just call you, ‘Clarissa’?”

Claire vastly preferred her nickname and she shouldn’t have too much trouble saying so; however, the pup is quite surprised at fully saying, “Claire,” instead of the usual, “C’a’re.” True, it’s far from the hardest thing for a limited mouth to pronounce, but entire letters and syllables can’t even be a rarity for the girl. Her ears slowly raise up again, her eyes no longer expressing terrified worry but astonished amazement.

“Oh, that’s even better!” Alexis responds, till she frowns again at the noticed expression, “... Is something wrong?”

Claire asks, though more to herself, “... I can say stuff…?”

“Ummm… I don’t see why not?” Alexis shrugs, then leans towards Claire with a suspicious look, “Hey, wait a minute…! Why didn’t you just tell me your name instead; were you just messing with me?”

“N-No…!” Claire whimpers, recoiling and wincing, “I-I j-just…!!”

“Whoa, easy…!” Alexis panics and holds her hooves up, “I didn’t mean it like I was actually upset with you…!” she lowers them and grins, “I like to mess with Seve-- all the time --myself, so I probably don’t have too much right to judge.”

“Would it kill you to give me a break on that,” the boy calls out, “at least once in a while?”

Claire still shudders a bit, now aware there’s more strangers nearby.

“Aw, but Seve…” Alexis grins at him, “That’s just how I show my love!”

“How about you ‘hate’ me sometimes instead…?”

Claire peers out the log’s other end, spotting the remainder of the quartet: Sarah, Jimmy and Seve. Claire grimaced at the two humans, fearing another potential outburst; as for Seve, he looks more terrifying than Alexis. At least her teeth and even horn seemed a tad rounder-- and the smiling certainly helped --while Seve is pointy all around and of a grumpier face. The pure redness of his eyes don’t help… Claire turns away, pressing her back into the log’s interior.

“Hey, don’t be scared of them, either…” Alexis crawls over, “Seve’s all grumpy and so’s Sarah, but Seve can be really nice! … And, I guess Sarah can be, too.”

“I can still hear you, you know!” Sarah huffs, “It’s not like I’m trying to rip everyone’s heads off or something!”

Jimmy caught a glimpse of Claire’s peeking face, confirming to him her current position. He decides to slowly approach that end, but ensures he’s not automatically standing before the opening. The last thing he’d want is to heighten her unease by helping block off all “escapes” (he also saw Alexis enter the other side). Instead, Jimmy crouches beside the opening, even refraining from peering inside for now.

“Hello there…” he gently greets, “It seems we’ve found you.”

Wait, these guys were looking for Claire?! Why: was everyone actually terrified enough to want her dead?! … Then again, that doesn’t involve friendly interactions, just being shot at or other general homicide attempts. No matter the intent, though, Claire doesn’t feel comfortable about strangers seeking her out.

“Poor thing,” Jimmy continues, “you wouldn’t actually harm anyone, would you? Yet, here you are: having to hide away from those who are quick to label you a ‘vile beast,’ who plans to wreak miserable havoc upon them. Why, even Sarah and I had quite the intense reaction to you. Don’t worry, though, I promise we can convince everyone you’re nothing to fear. Now, come on…”

He extends his hand, adjacent to the log’s opening; Claire retracts a little, but she decides on slowly reaching a paw to it.

“That’s it,” Alexis encourages, “go on!”

Claire freezes and jumps a bit, her eyes widened; but eventually turns her head away from the grinning goat and back to Jimmy’s hand. As if he can actually see Claire studying his offered palm, he gestures “come on.” Claire finally rests her own palm (or pad) against his, and Jimmy kindly encloses his fingers around the other. He doesn’t yank her out, of course, not even tug.

“See? I’m not so bad,” Jimmy promises, “Everyone else is exactly the same. Now, why don’t we all properly introduce ourselves?”

Claire pokes her head out first, looking at Jimmy and then the other two.

He reminds, “It’s alright…”

“Yeah, come on!” Alexis pushes Claire out, thus pulling Jimmy down, “Everyone’s excited to meet you, too!”

The disgruntled man gets up from his side, dusting himself off and readjusting his shades. He stares disapprovingly at Alexis.

“Perhaps less brutish means, next time?”

Claire doesn't enjoy Alexis forcing her out, so she tries literally digging her heels in; however, that fails to provide any challenge to Alexis’ immense energy. Luckily, the goat soon stops… when Claire is directly before the intimidating woman and other, much scarier goat. Trembling is inevitable…

“Seve,” Alexis begins introductions, “this is Claire; Claire, that’s Seve. This scary lady is Sarah, though I think you already heard me say her name, and her ‘ponytail buddy’ over there is Jimmy!”

“Quit calling me ‘scary’ and other stupid things!” Sarah growls, “I don’t call you ‘annoying’ every chance I get!”

“I mean,” Seve sighs, “you kinda do act all intense…”

“Be quiet; you’re not exactly giving me any reason to not be!”

The goat and woman exchange harsh stares, while Claire runs off from an indifferent Alexis; the pup hides behind Jimmy, who frowns at the sight of his friend failing to get along with others… again.

“... So then,” Jimmy finally speaks, “shall we tell the pigs about their ‘wolf problem’ officially being taken care of?”

“Aww, how could you even cause a problem in the first place…?” Alexis runs over, pulling out and squeezing Claire, “You’re so cute and soft!”

Claire’s eyes darted around; she decides to not even squirm, but is certainly unsure how she feels about the hyper goat in general. Despite Alexis (and Seve) being among the few shorter than her (around a head or so), Claire found her no different than a 7-foot goat. Claire settles on slowly glancing in Jimmy’s direction, given he seemed calmer and gentler. He instantly understands the “SOS” signal, so he kindly pushes Alexis off Claire.

“I’m sure we can convince her to simply walk alongside us…” he offers a hand that Claire takes, “Now, let’s head back.”

***

“W-Wait, you brought her back yourselves?!”

The pigs all stare in horror at their “traitorous” heroes.

“Oh no…” Seve groans, “Here it comes…”

“Now, now, let’s all calm down…” Jimmy offers a smile and holds his hands up, then pats Claire’s head, “As you can see, she’s perfectly sa--”

“Oh no, they must be working with the wolf now! We’re doomed!!”

“What?!” Sarah rebuttals, “Jimmy only wanted to prove how stupid you all are, if you think this--” she points to, but doesn’t face, Claire, “--is anything to freak out over!”

Claire widens her eyes and flattens her ears, leaning back from the opposing digit. Sarah may as well have been pointing a knife instead: Claire’s reaction and how Sarah’s finger replicated a more stabbing motion than gesturing one.

“Perhaps we could phrase that a bit more kindly, Sarah…?” Jimmy tugs his collar, then leans sideways toward her and mutters through clenched teeth, “They already seem rather on edge, without the addition of insulting them to their faces…”

“No, let someone tell these pigs what morons they can be…” Seve huffs and folds his arms, “Yeah, it thankfully wasn’t as bad dealing with them this time, but that looks like it’s about to change real quick if we don’t point it out…”

“But do we really have to go as far as calling them ‘morons’ and other mean things?” Alexis asks, “That’s not very nice…”

“Oh, really?” Sarah glares at her, “Says the same person who isn’t shy about calling me things…”

“But you are scary!”

“And they aren’t idiots?!”

“But it’s not like I’m calling you a ‘monster’ or anything that’s actually mean…”

“Oh, and how do I oh-so nicely point out how stupid they all are…?”

Alexis and Sarah continue prioritizing their current squabble, while the pigs and other three awkwardly stand nearby. Jimmy is unsuccessful intervening: his only given acknowledgement is Sarah pulling her shoulder from his hand, without bothering to look at him. Seve knows it can be a while when Alexis gets someone peeved enough with her antics, so he’ll just let them sort it out (he deals with her enough).

Claire seeks refuge behind Jimmy-- both from the staring pigs, and the small war occurring between a lady as fiery as her hair and the poster goat for “chaotic good.” The man also seemed like the most “trustworthy” of the group: Seve still had that intimidating air and grouch about him, and there’s the habits of the mentioned female duo, contrasting against Jimmy’s politer and tamer demeanor.

Jimmy merely sighs and turns his head away, rolling his eyes. He hated to admit it, but he sometimes doubted Sarah’s claims of “wanting to be better and less of a hotheaded jerk”... Then again, who is an equally imperfect man to judge? Heaven knows he certainly hadn’t become an authentic angel, or at least “close enough,” overnight himself. The events of Peach Creek High still haunt the man, for days to come… And, serve as a suitable reminder to be patient with his friend and help her eventually reach that “improved” state.

Jimmy’s turned head then becomes aware of the intimidating change to the pigs: they’ve suddenly acquired pitch forks, torches and brooms. Even a simpleminded Ed back home would realize what this entailed, so Jimmy’s blood instantly knew to run cold. Seve and Claire noticed also: Seve’s rolling eyes and turning head needed something else to stare at, while Claire would naturally face whatever the man she hid behind did. Normally, Seve isn’t afraid to engage in a little fisticuffs here and there, and even timid Claire could remind an unlucky soul that she’s as much wolf as human.

Unfortunately, Seve can’t punch an entire mob at once; and Claire’s teeth can only grab one person and her paws could only swipe two at most-- perhaps she could technically attack three individuals at most, assuming some pigs could make the awkward triangular formation possible? As for Jimmy himself, he’s had his surprising bouts of strength, but this certainly seemed the better job for Sarah. He reaches his hand out and taps her shoulder, whimpering her name, but never taking his eyes off the pigs.

“What, Jimmy?!” Sarah snaps her head at him, “In case you didn’t notice, I’m trying to get through this kid’s fatheaded sku--” she sees the mob, which now earns her narrowed glare, “And just what are we planning to do with those…?”

“Sorry, but if you’re in league with that wolf,” a pig explains, “then we’ll have to handle you all just the same, for the sake of our village!”

“Oh, is that so…?” Sarah cracks her knuckles, “Just remember that you asked for it…”

Sarah then charges forward with a battle cry-- which even Jimmy personally dubbed: “The Reaper’s Roar” --then pig squeals and flying items fill the air. Jimmy remains ever unfazed, though remorseful they couldn’t solve matters less like neanderthals. Seve’s jaw hangs open and he makes a mental note to not tick off the crazy redhead; yet he wonders how Alexis is still alive, when she aggravated Sarah earlier. Claire can only stare on with wide eyes and perked-back ears, and Alexis casually watches with little more than a frown.

There’s also Alexis’ additional comment: “Wow, she really is scary…”

When Sarah finishes, she’s in that familiar pose of post-explosion: hunched back, teeth and fists clenched, face reddened and flared nostrils puffing. Then, her skin finally returns to the pinkish hue it’s familiar with, before the shocked woman realizes she’s lost herself… again.

“Oh, shoot…” she groans, “Well, at least it could count as trying to defend myself…”

“Right you are, Sarah,” Jimmy puts an arm around her, “Now, how about we return to our original plan of leaving this area? I don’t think we’re welcomed anymore, anyhow…”

Claire ensured to stay directly behind the man, both during his approach to Sarah and after; while Seve and Alexis certainly stayed put.

“... Okay,” Seve sighs, “still a better ending than the last time I had to deal with pigs.”

“Um, she didn’t actually kill anyone, did she?” Alexis looks around, “I don’t think any of them are moving…”

“Who cares? They did ask for it…”

If Seve was being honest: he couldn’t help but feel a smidge of satisfaction at some dumb ol’ pigs getting what they deserved, even if not the same ones. But really, though, he needed to put his hoof down: no more helping pigs, ever. He dreads the thought of what could’ve happened, had Sarah not been there to be the one-woman army.

Instead of, “Who cares?”, Seve should have asked: “What do we do now?” Aside from obviously leaving the town, the group has nothing to do together. Not to mention, some members of the little “quintet” disliked each other a bit…

Seve didn’t want to be near a crazy Sarah-- especially not with a triggering Alexis to both ignite the fire and dump gasoline onto it! As for Sarah herself, she did dislike the annoying kids: Alexis could say some irritating things, and Seve apparently had an attitude Sarah didn’t care for. Jimmy, however, honestly felt no qualms with anyone, same for Alexis; but they couldn’t exactly make an argument for why everyone must stay together.

As for Claire, she had complaints for either duo: Seve and Alexis still seemed intimidating, there’s Alexis’ overzealousness, but Sarah’s ferocity couldn’t be ignored! Then again, Claire considered it wisest to follow the calm Jimmy wherever… He even seemed like he’d be nice enough to help her get back home.

“Well,” Seve is the first to speak, “I’d say, ‘It’s been fun,’ but I honestly dunno if anyone here would share the sentiment… If I even had the sentiment to share myself.”

“Aw, I’d say it has been fun!” Alexis grins, placing her fists onto her hips, “We got to meet people from a different world, even!” she then leans toward Claire, a hooved finger upon her chin, “Say… If these two were weird-looking because they come from a different world, instead of this dream realm…” she pushes a finger to Claire’s nose, “Are you actually a dreamer from a different world, too?!”

Claire already felt a need to retreat with Alexis’ leaning, but that nose-press convinced her to pull herself behind Jimmy again. Alexis frowns.

“Hey, what’re you still all scared for…?” she asks, “I already told you that we’re all friends, right…?”

Seve comments, “Not exactly…”

Alexis pouts at him, before looking back to Claire. It seemed like Seve might’ve had a point, though… Alexis then looks at Sarah and then at Jimmy, before going back to Claire. Yeah, Seve couldn’t be argued with.

“... Well, okay,” she sighs, “I guess we don’t have to be friends; but can you at least tell me what your worlds are like, before we all leave…? I dunno if I’ll ever get another chance to meet someone from somewhere else…”

Sarah and Jimmy exchange looks, while Claire glances up at the latter. Claire would prefer to leave the creepy goats and get started on returning home, but if her self-assigned “guardian” decided to stay himself… And, he does. After all, is there any harm in telling Alexis about his and Sarah’s lives? Sarah herself guessed it wouldn’t be too awful, either. Besides, if she were being honest, she wondered a little about what “real” world has weird animal-people running around… and especially what type of place has Claire’s version of even weirder “animal-people.”

Seriously, at least Seve and Alexis could “decide” on whether they wanted to be animals or humans, despite the unnatural anthropomorphism… Claire looked as if Ed decided to go from those weird “freezer experiments,” the creepy fish with random meats stitched onto them, to some type of “frankenstein werewolf” practice with her stuffed animals and dolls. Honestly, Heaven help him if he ever did, as that would be a past incident she’d more easily forgive her younger self for…

Like Sarah, Seve has his own curiosities to admit, though less vocally than Alexis. He, too, saw no harm in sitting around and chatting about homes. What grand task did they even “need” to do now, anyway, as he didn’t recall any important mission to follow the previous? He contently sits beside his friend, letting her do most of the talking…

[End Chapter 2]

******

Author's Notes: And Claire makes five. I gotta admit, I like how Jimmy went from the one who always hides behind another, to the one another hides behind. Don't worry, they and everyone else might have their scruples with some, but that's called "organic relationships": it'd be forced as all heck to just have them be "bestest friends" from the start, even "Mary Sue-ish" in Claire's case to be instantly adored and admired by everyone.

Yeah, Jimmy's certainly approachable and of a welcoming demeanor, and Alexis is bubbly and easy to imagine as friendly; but Sarah and Seve seem like the types you need to "earn" the endearment of. I feel it also helps if Claire isn't all "I instantly like you!" either, and the realistic truth is she'd naturally be afraid of Seve and Alexis from their appearances, while Sarah's rage earns herself some "ire." What can I say? Claire's just naturally timid, and I intended to maintain her personality as much as the others'.

Also, special thanks to ChatGPT for being the best "editor" I ever "hired": it helped me confirm this was an appropriate chapter length when I felt it was getting too long, it helped me with making sentences more easily readable, it helped me grammatically... Just, get ChatGPT's help if you're a writer, it'll benefit both you and your readers. But remember: you have to keep everyone in character, you have to keep things coherent and keep track of everything, you still have to basically do all the work and can't tell the AI to write for you. The most you can make it do "for" you: provide an idea or suggestion on what you can write next.

So, see you all in the next chapter!

#corn kidz 64 #seve #alexis #sarah #jimmy #ed edd n eddy #crossover #crossover fanfiction #crossover fic #eene #chapter 2 #the dreams and nightmares we share #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #fiction

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thatonesongyouretryingtoremember · 2 years

Text

THE GOLDFINCH (movie reaction)

Ik some stiff from the wiki but I don't remember much and I haven't read the book.

She's already dead??

Are we in the fresh or an office?

TIMESKIP??

Blood??

Damn

It's all your fault and ALSO there's no way it could have gone different?? My dude please stay talking SENSE soon.

The ✨️painting✨️

Dusty graveyard??

DUSTY PAINTING

So the soliloquy is AFTER Boris stole it and BEFORE the get reunited I'm thinking 🤔

✨️little Theo✨️

Okay so we DON'T see the explosion..

Who is this lady? Is she adopting him?

Damn, his parents rly had no friends huh?

How do I already want to punch this woman?

Well at least she's being nice

Some "Ahndy" nerd you is here. Tbf I fully expected a SoUE "how'd you do it? How'd you set the fire?" Type thing.

"No choice" "happy to have you" which is it??

"WoRsT tWo WeEkS oF mY lIfE" my dude the guy next to you just became an orphan

Stg they better handle this nightmare properly.

Better for what? Does he even know how to call your home phone?

Wait he wasn't at the museum? Wait no he WAS. Who's fucking plate??

"ToUgH lUcK" shut the fuck up Robbie from Gravity Falls.

Nerd boy's here too ig. DEFEND HIM.

"Cure for everything" shut up. Ooh, fine art! Perfectly acceptable topic of convo. 🙄

Get your dirty hands off her ring 🤬

Are those prescription? At least she's trying with the nightmare.

Damn. They're really interrogating this KID.

What does this other kid have to do with anything? Does she come back? Why'd he lie?

Why tf are they asking "where exactly" he was? If he gets it wrong, or even right, how the fuck does it help??

"Fight me" -kid in sweater

Nerd boy's nice at least.

Do you can defend him next time btw. I've seen you try to fight that guy.

Hobart is the guy who's ring it ACTUALLY is, right? Or his partner?

Okay so Hobart is the alive one.

He slays in that coat

That guy has a nice voice I think.

Damn they really PUBLICIZED that shit? Private info!

So he dipped recently? Holy shit I will kill that man.

My dude nobody is trying to take that sandwich from you (/ref)

Hiii Pippaaaa (/p)

Is that a shoes quilt?? Is the haircut on purpose? Hearts like El. She's still injured. The haircut is indeed, not on purpose.

She's nice. I like her.

"Want some MORPHINE??"

The bestieism of it all 🥰

Wait were they business partners and raising a kid together? Oh that's so cool of them.

The captions keep calling unnamed characters "WO(man)" 💀

Wait whose earrings??

THERE IT ISSS

If I had to quit playing- anyways sad.

Maybe you can get her weird rich aunt to take you in too.

I smell a shovel talk. THERE'S A BIRD CAGE BEHIND HIM.

Who is this guy? Yk what maybe it's better he isn't starting with them.

"Destroyed" okay Weatherboy.

Nerd boy ✨️🥰

TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH HOLY SHIT

"They've grown quite fond of you" like he's a goddamn stray cat wtaf.

"You never know what's going to decide your future" damn straight

Why does Mrs.Barbour always look like she's about to cry and also like she's trying to stay composed while hanging from her neck by a track on the ceiling?? [Do I need to tag a tw for that? I'm not sure which one.]

Oh fuck his asshole dad is back fuck this.

WAIT THE VEGAS PLOT

Ah yes, Vegas. Well known for changing ppl for the better.

Xandra looks like a slightly off clone. Idk how to explain it.

OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP. KEEP HIS MOTHER'S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

Dumbass.

Why does Mrs.B look like she's about to tell me I'm the chosen one and deliver some fucking prophecy??

Top tier sound track 10/10

Do you think they were even displaying the original painting? Shouldn't the original be locked up with a replica on display.

This is unsafe. Get out. Holy fuck get out.

My boy it has been FAR too long since that pool has been cleaned what the fuck.

Nobody cares about your dumb fuck social life.

Okay I'm fine. Yes absolutely social pressure sucks ass.

Theo looks like he's about to roast the fuck out of this guy in incomprehensible academic language.

He looks like he clocks his body's reaction to emotions instead of acknowledging that he has emotions. (/nue)

"I know all about you" well I don't care.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

He's just some guy. In a suit.

No do it I don't want to be aware of the passage of time. Wait why does she look the same?

"Any of your old school crowd" [read:Boris]

Wait is she flirting? Help if someone said that to me I wouldn't pick up on SHIT.

Oh so he can go to the post office? So he's close enough to civilization to RUN AWAY

BUS

Emo boyy

He wears a goddamn BLAZER to school I'm CACKLING.

I thought his accent wouldn't be that bad. I was wrong. He had uttered but one full sentence yet I hate it. (Will likely not last long)

MOOD.

WAIT BLOND SHORTY (/ref)

HIS FUCKING UMBRELLA

They have him a while seperate soundtrack I smell a romance arc.

"Omg same bro" -Theo

"Life, eh?"

BOYFRIEND SHOPLIFTING SEQUENCE

The Joey Rooney T-shirt KILL ME. (/pos)

Stranger danger what the fuck

Why is he being nice I'm scared

Tell me "gimme ur social security" doesn't give bad vibes

"Gave me a second chance" what choice did he have??

The boyfriendism of it all.

✨️sweater✨️

Oh.

Holy fuck SAY SOMETHING GODDAMNIT

✨️cop movies✨️ (/ref)

You have your own shirts, do you not?

It's Buster

"Keine Anung"

What if his boogers got stuck in there?

Wait it's their pool?

Pretty sure that's not safe.

No that man sitting up isn't dead is he? Oh its that the ring man? Okay but what the actual fuck is he saying??

It is lucky he didn't give that ring to me bc I would forget those instructions IMMEDIATELY.

Where is she?

That is the most awkward hug I've ever seen

What are you planning?

I hate you.

I fucking knew it.

Wait is he related to Owen Wilson?

I FUCKING KNEW IT.

RUN FOR IT IS RUIN RUN RUN RUN

Gay little swing set scene. <2

✨️act normal✨️

My dude he is not in the right mind to hear this.

But good riddance.

Well that never stopped him before.

I hate you.

GO WITH HIM. GODDAMMIT GO WITH HIM GO WITH HIM GO WITH HIM!

Crazy to go tonight. (Crazy together)(/ref)(can you tell what fandom I'm from?)

Wait does Xandra have the mom's earrings?

GO WITH HIM!

I'm gonna CRY HOLY SHIT

I'm crying.

(Srsly though why couldn't he go with him) /gen)

If the dog dies I'm suing for emotional damage.

Oh for real? He's marrying Kitsey??

Stab me with a blunt screw driver.

Are they DearEvanHansen-ing him??

Wait I just got a GOD TIER meme Idea😈

Old man doesn't know shit (lying)

Fun fact that painting is a replica

Finn fact I have something important to tell you

Kitsey your husband can see you.

What does "try to break it off" mean?? Don't you simply break up??(/gen)

"I don't expect you to know what it's like to be in love with the wrong person" well I do expect that so shut up.

Srsly though what does Reeve even think he's getting out of that deal?

Pov: your life has gone to shit.

Wait why not give her the Ozma one? Are you gonna sell that one?

Ikykyk lol no

UM WHY haven't they met??

Don't worry. Nobody can tell.

Wish we could've seen it in color, though.

"It was my fault" why are they given the same backstory?

Looking up, looking down, is she choosing what she's allowed to cry about?

BLAZER

It's HIM

The SMILE

(It wasn't an accident in the books, was it?)

He's not even Russian wtf??

With XANDRA!?

Tea time ig..

*his breath catches* (/ref)

"I'm getting married ☹️"

"Someone else" -someone else

Wait which thing you did? Rushed kiss confession, recreation painting, or running off?

Where even is this room?

FUCK YEAH SLAY SOUNDTRACK IS BACK!

Oh wait is not even that is a book? Do when he was talking abt Sandra from civics class-

"I've come to sink further down in SHIT."

Shouldn't you say you know a guy?

Hi Platt.

FIRE jacket

The bestie glare lol

Why hasn't he met her godmother before??

Wait does Boris die??

Shaky camera oh shit oh fuck no he's gonna die

Not the letter paralell-

Oh shit he's totally gonna die oh fuck if my boy gets killed-

Oh it's fine. What was the body jacket tho? I feel like we aren't out of the woods yet.

Ugh of course. Wait is he grabbing his shoulder? Is it non-fatal? (False hope)

OOOOO WHATCHA SAYYYYY (/ref)

He killed a man.

You wouldn't have.

Did you just OD ever there?(/ref)

WE CAN FINALLY SEE HIS MOM'S FACE

HE'S ALIVE

HE'S ALIIIVE (/ref)

Happy endings all around :) (nervously checks progress bar)

Heart ey- *gunshots* (/ref)

"Happy Christmas, Potter."

WHAT ABOUT THE DOG!?

Tl;dr: kill me (/pos)

#not tagging as the title bc i dont think the fandom gives a fuck what I think but I will tag other posts

0 notes

serenailith · 2 years

Text

letters from home

pairing: winterhawk (gen) rating: t tags: PTSD, alternate universe, pen pals, trauma, clint-centric chapters: 4/? ao3 here

in which clint’s new job isn’t as bad as he thought it would be... until it is.

Natasha calls like she’d promised, and Clint struggles to tell her about the session. Best friend that she is, she knows how he’s feeling. She calls him a дурак and tells him there was nothing he could have done. Even Coulson hadn’t seen the man’s actions until it was too late. The most they could do was evacuate the building and take out the obvious dangers.

“Clint, if you made a mistake, we all made the same one.”

“But it wasn’t your job to make sure things were clear.”

“And you realised what he was doing.”

“Too late, Nat! I saw it way too late to do a damn thing.”

“Clint. . .” She sighs, and he can see her running her fingers through her red hair. The tight press of her lips and the divot between her brows. She must be alone if she’s letting her voice show genuine concern. “Why is this so hard on you? We’ve had ops go sideways before.”

“Nearly a hundred dead does that to a person, Romanov.”

He hangs up and immediately regrets it. Nat is only trying to help, and here he is pushing her away. It’s a wonder she’s even still around in the first place. He can barely stand himself anymore.

The next therapy session goes much more smoothly. Clint lies, says he hasn’t been having the nightmares as often—if he said they were gone completely, Doctor Brayden would never believe him. She would question why he was being dishonest. At least if he sticks with the script of downplaying what he’s gone through over the last week, she’ll be satisfied.

She gives the green-light for him to accept Coulson’s offer of a job. Clint calls Coulson the instant he’s out of the building. The same bland voice promises to be in touch with the information, and Clint hangs up with something tight in his chest. His thoughts scramble for some clarity, though they find none. He finds no peace in the decision.

In fact, it’s terrifying as Hell.

Coulson sends a text from his personal phone with the information: General security, no heroics necessary. The job starts in two months, and Clint nearly throws up. How is he supposed to make any sort of progress in only two months? With the nightmares and flashbacks, he’s lucky to get three hours of fitful sleep a night, and he can barely make it through his days without a panic attack.

“Luck? I’m screwed.”

The dog only thumps his tail against the floor.

Somehow, eight sessions and too high of anxiety later, Clint stands in front of a skyscraper in the most ridiculous suit he’s ever worn. Actually, it’s only the third time he’s worn a suit—once to his mother’s funeral, and twice for an op. Those times hadn’t made him feel like vomiting, turning, and running like he had to when he was on his own. He swallows down the bile in his throat and reaches for his vibrating phone.

You’ve got this, Barton. Don’t let your brain tell you otherwise.

Aw nat didnt know u cared

Idiot.

The banter—the affection he can feel in each word he read—helps. He steels his spine, reaching for the handle, and steps inside. People bustle around the ground level, and a line snakes away from the in-house coffeeshop to the left. Clint has never seen this many smiling faces in a work setting. Then again, his new employer is well-known for paying well above average salary for the positions.

Clint almost fainted when Coulson told him how much Miss Virginia “Pepper” Potts agreed to hire Clint for.

“Can I help you, sir?”

Clint startles. Has he ever been called ‘sir’ before? Yeah. He has, but certainly not by a bubbly woman with a bright smile. He steps closer to the reception desk and stutters out his name and a request for Miss Potts’s office. The woman checks the book in front of her then reaches for a badge hanging at the edge of her desk.

“Miss Potts is expecting you, Mister Barton. Elevators are to your right, and she’ll be on the seventy-eighth floor. I do hope you aren’t afraid of heights.”

Clint can’t help it—he snorts in amusement. Heights are where he’s most comfortable. He can see everything from up high. It is why he was so good at his job. Previous job, he reminds himself. SHIELD will never want him back after The Disaster. After he proved he is the disaster.

“Sir?”

“Hm? Oh. Right. Thanks.”

The woman grins again and turns to the ringing phone, answering it with a cheerful “Stark Industries, this is Angelica. How may I direct your call?”

Clint steps into the lift with lab coat-clad engineers and fitted suit-wearing businesspeople. He stays by the door, heart thundering under his ribs. Any of them could be a danger. Any of them could be like the man who blew himself up in order to take out as many casualties as possible. He stifles a shudder at the thought and keeps his eyes trained ahead, though every inch of his consciousness is cataloguing the people around him.

The secretary outside of Miss Potts’s office raises a thin brow when Clint comes to a stop outside the doors. She gestures for him to take a seat then pages the CEO. He remains standing—if he sits, he’s liable to vibrate out of his skin. He should have refused Coulson’s offer of the job, said thanks but no thanks, I’m fine being a mess on my own. The only reason he hadn’t is because Coulson went out on a limb for him. Coulson put his reputation on the line to vouch for Clint. How could he repay the man by rejecting something like this?

“Mister Barton? Miss Potts will see you now.”

“Actually,” the woman in question says as the door swings open. “Miss Potts has an emergency meeting to get to. Mister Barton, I presume? Good. Walk and talk, please.”

The woman’s sharp heels click on tile, and Clint scrambles to keep up with her long strides. Her strawberry hair stays in place atop her head, pale skin accentuating the freckles dotting the bridge of her nose. Her lips press into a thin, vivid red line when she checks her watch. She glances at Clint and gives him a smile that drips in sympathy.

“I’m truly sorry about rushing,” she says, stepping into the lift. “I have about five minutes to trick Tony into this meeting, and Tony is. . . He’s a handful on the best of days.”

“I think I’ve read something like that,” Clint manages to choke out, and Miss Potts cuts a glance toward him. “Sorry. That was out of line, wasn’t it?”

To his surprise, she laughs. “Oh, of course not. When it’s the truth, it’s the truth. Now, I’m not sure how much Agent Coulson has told you, but this job will have long days. You’ll have to travel with us whenever we leave New York, and you’ll only be paid for hours that you’re actually on the clock.”

“Wait.” Clint gapes at her. “So I’m getting paid a hundred grand a year even if I don’t work a full forty-hour week?”

“Believe me, Mister Barton, you’ll more than earn that salary. If you’ll follow me.”

The lift doors open the seconds the words are out of her mouth. He stumbles after her, stopping behind her while she inputs a code into the pad, then she’s moving again. She doesn’t take her eyes off the tablet in her hands even as she crosses what can only be the infamous workshop. The entire world knows that Tony Stark spends most of his time tinkering away in this very room, even if they don’t know where it is.

“Tony? R&D wants to know where we are on that—whatever it is you’re supposed to be working on.”

“Tell them it’ll be done when it’s done.” The man himself pops out from under heavy-looking equipment. “Oh. Who are you, and why are you with Pepper? Did Happy give you the seal of approval? Pep! Did you hire someone without Happy’s knowing? Ooh, he’s gonna be so angry with you. Anyway, what, Pep, why are you cleaning me up?”

Miss Potts tuts but doesn’t stop swiping at the black smears on Mister Stark’s cheeks. “You have grease everywhere, that’s why.”

“Is the president here? Because you know how I feel about him.”

“Yes, Tony,” sighs Miss Potts as she drops the rag to the tabletop. “He’s a pompous orange buffoon whose IQ barely hits double digits, and he should have stuck with reality TV instead of making an ass-clown of himself.”

“A dangerous ass-clown, thank you. Man brought out the worst in people, and we’ll be paying for it for a long time. Did Happy kick him out?”

“The president isn’t here, Tony!”

“Then why—?” His eyes widen, and he looks between Miss Potts and silver walls around them. She has managed to lead both men into the lift without either noticing, but they’re noticing now. “You didn’t.”

“I did. I’ll stall long enough for you to change into something more suitable. Mister Barton, please see to it that he doesn’t throw himself out the nearest window.”

“Does she do that a lot, Mister Stark?” asks Clint once the lift reaches the appropriate floor and Miss Potts has slipped out.

“What, get you to do what she wants without you realising it?” Mister Stark snorts and waves for Clint to follow. “Of course she does. She’s a wily one. And don’t call me Mister Stark. That was my father.”

Tony orders Clint to stand in the corridor then disappears through a door. When he emerges five minutes later, he might as well be a different man. Gone are his grease-stained jeans, though he stills wears his AC/DC T-shirt under his suit jacket. He’s smoothed down his hair, but there isn’t much someone can do when there’s enough motor oil there to run a Formula One racer. The pair heads down the cavernous hallway to a set of double doors.

Clint stands just inside while Tony takes a seat at the table surrounded by suits and ill-concealed discontent. The faces say the men had hoped Tony wouldn’t show, that they’d only have to deal with Miss Potts. Clint has a feeling that Miss Potts is the more vicious of the duo. Tony can say ‘fuck this, I’m out’, but Virginia Potts has to put out the fires. Something about her screams that she’d just as soon eviscerate a man with her words as she would enjoy a glass of wine. Clint makes a silent note to not screw her over.

He finds himself zoning out about halfway through the meeting. He listens with one ear while mentally taking apart his bow. Cataloguing the entrances—only the door behind him—and the sightlines. The surrounding buildings aren’t nearly as tall as Stark Tower, but a truly talented hitman doesn’t need something so trivial. Clint is proof of that: He’s taken shots that were deemed impossible, simply through skill and pure luck. Before the Disaster, he was 157 for oh.

“Thank you, Mister Barton.”

He pulls himself from his thoughts and blinks owlishly at Miss Potts. “What?”

“Your presence was a welcome one. Now, if you’d like, I can have my assistant Todd give you a tour, or you’re welcome to explore on your own. JARVIS will help guide you if you prefer that.”

“What about you? And Tony?”

She cocks her head, blue eyes narrowing as she scrutinises him. Her lips quirk into a small smile. “Tony is already back in his workshop, and Happy will be in my office with me. Remind me to introduce the two of you. He’ll be the one you report to every day.”

“Could I meet him now? Get it out of the way before I run screaming?”

“Trust me, the job won’t be as stressful as you think, but of course. Follow me.”

Happy Hogan does not live up to his moniker. He’s gruff, stand-offish, and Clint can tell the two of them won’t get along well at all. He watches Clint closely, brown eyes narrowed the entire time. Clint slips from the room twenty minutes later with the very solid knowledge that Happy is going to distrust him for a while. Hell, the man might even hate Clint already.

Clint-

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. There’s been… a lot happening over here. Just now got a chance to breathe.

Yes, big band music. My grandparents used to babysit me and my sister when we were kids when our parents were working. It was a pretty good time, so it’s a nice memory. Pops taught me to do the Charleston. Wow, that sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?

Please don’t tell me you actually stole the dog and you’re just saying it sneaked into your house. I thought we agreed that stealing someone’s dog is a bad thing.

I understand feeling like a crappy human. Really, I do. It’s a never-ending darkness that steals your soul. But Clint, I doubt you’re a crappy human. Bad handwriting aside, you’re taking the time to write to a soldier you don’t know all because of some 10 year old kid. You’ve taken in a dog that isn’t yours just because it showed up. You coulda just ignored Alyshia and dropped the dog at a shelter, but you didn’t. I know I said Lysh is determined, but even she’d back down if you said no and meant it.

Don’t let your brain convince you of bad things. That shit sticks with you, and no one deserves that.

Yeah, I’m probably as ugly as you. I definitely feel like it - if not more.

Plums are amazing, man. You have no idea what you’re missing out on. Kiwis are the disgusting fruit. All those seeds. Gross.

I’m glad you have a best friend. They make life easier, even if they’re scary like you say Nat is. Yeah, Steve’s the most loyal person I’ve ever known. He’s a damn golden retriever in human form.

It’s okay, you don’t have to call me Bucky. Sarge or James works.

Remember what I said, Clint. Don’t let your brain win.

Sarge

Clint stares down at the letter. He’d meant the whole ‘horrible person’ comment as a joke—mostly—but here Sarge was trying to convince Clint he’s worthy of something good. He will never again deserve Coulson and Nat’s support; this job that pays so much, more than he has ever even been offered; the dog that moved in and won’t leave.

He hasn’t kicked Lucky out, so maybe he isn’t as bad as he could be. Only monsters harm or upset animals. But Clint is a monster of his own. A hundred dead will prove that of a man.

He drops Sarge’s letter onto the coffee table, makes his way to his bedroom, and calls for Lucky as he falls face-first onto his bed.

Sarge,

Didn’t sound pathetic to me. I’d kill for memories like that. Now THAT is pathetic.

Of course I didn’t steal the dog! Nat would kill me for even attempting to. Like I said, the mutt just… showed up and won’t leave. It’s okay, tho. He doesn’t do much but sleep and steal my pizza. Oh, and chase the Russian tracksuit mafia down the block. He’s a good boy like that. His name is Lucky - I don’t think I said that before. I think it is anyway. Wish he could talk.

Got a new job. It’s… weird. Not bad weird. Just weird. Haven’t worked in a few months so being around that many people is… weird. Is weird a word now? Because it doesn’t look like it.

How’s everything where you are?

Clint

There. No mention of Sarge’s last letter, everything he’d said. There is no reason for Sarge to know how much his words affected Clint. That would only make Clint feel more pathetic, and he really can’t handle that right now.

He slips the letter into an envelope and drops it into the outgoing post on his way to work.

His days are mostly following Tony around the tower, and boy, the man can talk. Clint can barely understand half of what Tony says, but Tony doesn’t seem to mind—it’s almost as if he talks just to hear his own voice. Clint has lunch once with Miss Potts, and she gives him her undivided attention. Her phone rings a few times. She silences it each time. Clint has never had this much attention on him. Not even Coulson was able to spend uninterrupted time with his subordinates.

Natasha comes by three days after Clint’s latest letter to Sarge. They spend the hours watching Say Yes to the Dress, which tickles Clint pink. She’s never going to get married—her goal is to die without once saying ‘I do’—but she loves these reality shows. He only wishes she liked Dog Cops as much as he does. Then he would actually be interested in what they watch.

She also goes to the range with him so he can fire off a few arrows while she complains about her partner. Well, as close to complaining as Nat ever gets. Clint can hear the carefully concealed rage in her voice when she tells him of Rumlow’s latest screw-up: Messing with her weaponry and lying about it. Natasha has always kept her firearms in impeccable condition. Clint was never allowed to mess with them, and they’d been partners for six years.

They aren’t partners anymore, but Clint still knows her well. Rumlow is lucky to be alive.

She doesn’t mention the new job until they’re on their way through the exit, and even then it’s a simple question: How is it? Clint debates lying to her—saying that he loves it—but he can’t. Not only would she see right through it, but he’s trying the whole ‘honesty’ thing at Doctor Brayden’s insistence. So he tells her the truth: He isn’t sure if he’s quite cut out for security detail, especially not for someone like Stark and Pepper.

Plus, he isn’t worth the money they’re paying him.

That second sentence earns him a pinch to the hip. Natasha’s eyes narrow, and Clint forces himself to not take a step back. She raises a hand to cup his jaw, an uncharacteristic display of affection, and her lips quirk into a small smile.

“You’ve never been able to see how valuable you are. Stark is lucky to have you, Barton. I couldn’t imagine anyone else who’s capable of what you’re doing, except maybe me.”

“No ‘maybe’ about it,” he mutters. “You’re the best.”

“Of course I am.”

She disappears with a fleeting smile, and Clint tightens his grip on his bow and heads off down the block. Lucky sits just inside the door when Clint arrives home an hour later, and all Clint can do is smile. He’s never had someone—something—waiting for him like this. The only time Barney ever waited was to smack him around for whatever mistake Clint had made, just like their father always did. No one else cared enough.

But now here’s a dog, one who isn’t even technically Clint’s, tail wagging and tongue lolling from his mouth as he stares up at the human with one eye. Before he can think about it, before he can stop himself, Clint sinks to his knees and sets his bow aside. Lucky licks frantically at Clint’s face as he buries his fingers into thick fur and leans forward.

The flat is finally starting to feel like home.

Clint,

I’m glad you didn’t steal the dog. But I’m glad you have something to care for. Especially when it’s a dog like that. I wish I had one now. I miss having a dog. You have a “Russian tracksuit mafia” living near you? How does that even work? Please tell me you don’t get involved more than letting Lucky chase them down the street…

I’m glad to hear you got a job. I know how… isolating it can be to be cooped up in your flat all day without a routine to stick to. Without social interaction. Hopefully the job is keeping you out of your own head. (And yes, weird is still a word.) Tell me more about the job. If you can, that is. It’s not one of those jobs where if you told me what you do, you’d have to kill me, is it? If so… keep the details to yourself. I don’t feel like dying… If this tour doesn’t take me out first

Things are fine here. Hot, boring. Can’t wait to stop this “hurry up and wait” bullshit.

Sarge

Clint snorts—his job is nowhere near ‘I’ll take your life’ levels, but it’s amusing to read Sarge’s fumbling words. He tosses the letter on the countertop and shuffles toward the couch. Lucky waits until he’s fallen face-first onto the cushions then hops up to curl between Clint’s side and the back of the couch. Clint’s lips twist into a smile.

He’s never had to take care of anything but himself before, but the dog is turning out to be less work than Clint expected when Lucky showed up.

“Aw, man, does this mean I have to find a vet?” Clint asks on a whine.

Lucky bolts toward the bedroom in response.

Sarge, Yeah yeah, I’m a saint for taking in a stray dog who doesn’t judge me for being a mess. And yes. There’s a Russian tracksuit mafia that took over a building a few away from mine, and Lucky absolutely LOVES chasing them. It’s the only time I ever hear him snarl and growl. Otherwise, he’s a quiet thing. I swear he can understand what I say, though… And of course I don’t get involved… That would be dangerous considering all the guns. And the fact Russians never forgive. I do have some sort of self-preservation despite what everyone thinks.

Having a job is a lot harder than I expected after my last career ended the way it did. Basically, I’m now a security guard for a pretty crazy, rich billionaire genius. I don’t get much of a chance to think since he’s insane and likes to blow things up, so it’s definitely a job to keep him from injuring himself. But he’s pretty cool anyway. He lets me choose the music sometimes. Don’t worry. I don’t have to kill you now that I’ve told you. I don’t do that anymore.

Ah, standard SOP for the military. Make you miserable while they sit on their asses in their comfy quarters making decisions that affect only their cash-flow. I get it. Maybe Black Sabbath got it right: We should send the rich to war.

Clint

Despite his reservations, Clint keeps what Nat said playing on a loop in the back of his mind. It keeps him focused on what he’s supposed to do and not the never-ending existential dread. Happy has graciously relinquished the task of tailing after Tony, and Clint wonders if it’s meant to be a show of approval or punishment for some karmic mishap in a past life. Tony Stark is nothing if not a walking, talking disaster. Clint finds himself struggling to stay out of the way while also doing his job. More than once, there’s been a small explosion in the workshop that sent Clint rushing to check on Tony while Dum-E sprayed the both of them with a fire extinguisher.

Clint should really be accustomed to the chaos after a month, but it never fails to take him by surprise.

He finds a vet willing to see Lucky the week before Thanksgiving. Tony barely registers it when Clint tells him he’s taking the sixteenth off, and Pepper seems almost surprised when he tells her it’s for his dog. Her expressions smooths out almost instantly, and she smiles and grants him the day for the appointment. Five cabs reject Clint before a sixth decides to allow the dog into the backseat.

Despite being a stray with no known medical history—and the missing eye, Lucky is in outstanding health. Clint doesn’t tell the vet Lucky exists purely on pizza and kibble, though. Even he knows it’s not a healthy diet for anyone. He promises himself he’ll stop by the market on his way home to get some vegetables even as he leads Lucky out of the exam room. Wincing at the cost of the check-up, Clint passes over his nearly maxed-out credit card and hopes there’s still enough of a balance on there to cover it.

There’s another letter in the mailbox when he gets home, the second from Sarge since Clint sent out the last one. This one is full of idle rambling, complaining about heat and boredom and his plans for when he comes home. I’m gonna spend at least 70 years not doing a damn thing besides sleep. Maybe eat my weight in ice cream. Clint thinks it’s as good a plan as any, ambling to the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge to go with the Chinese takeaway he orders.

Between work and the dog, Clint’s life has become a routine, something he’s still unfamiliar with. He never had a set schedule with SHIELD—he was always ‘on’, even when there wasn’t a mission to work. He spent most of his time in the office annoying Nat or at the range annoying Nat or in the field annoying Nat, which says a lot about his level of common sense. But he likes to think he’s cute enough to annoy her without being stabbed. Too many times, anyway.

He wakes in the morning, lets Lucky out front to do his business while the coffee brews, dumps kibble and green beans into a bowl, then hurries to dress for work. He’s grown quite used to the suit; five more have joined his first one, and wouldn’t Nat and Coulson be proud of him. He’s even hired a dog-walker, some kid named Kate who extols Lucky’s mere existence every time she sees him. It’s a normalcy that’s helped settle his brain—slightly.

The nightmares still grip him tight in the middle of the night, though less devastating. They’re more muted, faded in a vignette sort of way that brings less of a chokehold and more the sensation of being bound at the wrists and ankles. He still can’t pull himself from the dreams, but at least he can breathe. He only ever comes to awareness because of Lucky, the cold wet nose and slobbery tongue. Clint wonders if it’s supposed to be this easy, after such an impossible situation.

Clint goes to therapy every Friday afternoon, and it’s another part of his routine. Letters from Sarge come, and letters to Sarge go out. As inevitable as the tide. The latest letter, which arrives a week before Christmas, says Clint sounds happier in the missives now that he isn’t “on the sidelines anymore”. He’d take affront to that, but he can admit that that’s exactly how he felt when he got assigned to desk duty before being pushed onto leave.

“Okay, so everything is packed and ready to go,” Pepper says the evening of the sixteenth, her strawberry-blonde hair pulled into a severe knot at the base of her skull. Her heels click against the marble as she paces her office, and her eyes skim over the itinerary in her slender hand. “Happy, you’ll drive, right?”

“Yes, Miss Potts.”

“Has Tony come out of his workshop?” she asks as her gaze cuts to Clint.

He nods and allows himself a small smile. “Yeah, he’s showering now. I double-checked with JARVIS. I even threatened to drag him out of the bathroom naked and bubbly if he takes too long.”

“I’m sure he loved that.”

“He didn’t exactly hate the idea, to be honest.”

Pepper rolls her eyes with a wry smile and chews on the corner of a nail. Just a small action, less than a heartbeat, but Clint realises she’s concerned. There’s something in her that’s worrying her. A small voice in his head says he should be worried, too. As the trio waits for Tony to emerge from his living quarters, Clint strides to the window and looks down upon the city. Ants of people walk along the blustering streets below, cars inching their way through dead-end traffic.

Tony arrives, to Clint’s surprise, with little fanfare. One second, he’s still in his bedroom, and the next, he’s ambling out with a briefcase in one hand and a glass half-full of booze in the other. A pale circle of blue-white light bleeds through his threadbare T-shirt, and Clint jerks his gaze away. He’s seen the arc reactor up close and personal, but it’s still a marvel to him. The world knows what happened to Tony Stark, that he was abducted and held hostage until he built weapons for a terrorist group. No one knows about the arc reactor, not since Tony had to go head-to-head with his surrogate uncle after an assassination attempt on Tony’s life.

Clint remembers reading the file, shivering at the cold ice in Obediah Stane’s eyes as he stared back from his prison mugshot. Even through a photograph, Stane had come across as the calculating type, ruthless and greedy. Of course, in order to kill the man you’d known since his childhood, you would have to be ruthless and greedy.

Clint eases the glass from Tony’s hand while Pepper distracts him with going over the itinerary once more, and Tony cracks jokes the entire time. She’d assured Clint that despite his persona, Tony really does care for the company and does his best to not hurt it. “Too much,” she’d tacked on gracefully, because they both know Tony has done damage to the company multiple times before.

The flight to Sweden is eight and a half hours of unusually peaceful nothingness. Tony tinkers with some contraption for an hour before reclining in his seat and falling asleep. Happy does the same only five minutes later. Pepper sits in her own seat, legs crossed at the ankles and knees pressed tightly together, and switches her attention from one tablet to another. Clint hesitates for a moment before slouching. He doesn’t doze—sleeping here will only prove disastrous—but he lets his mind wander to things away from his job.

It doesn’t leave him much to think about: therapy (not thinking about that), the Russian tracksuit mafia, Nat, and Lucky. Clint wonders how Lucky is doing with his absence. This is the first time Clint has left more than just the city, the state, since Lucky came into his life. It’s also the longest he’ll have been away from the dog. A whole week. Clint can’t help but question if Lucky will still be at home when he comes back. Maybe Kate will abduct him. Clint has no way of proving ownership, so it’d be a he said-she said. She would probably win.

After landing, the quartet heads straight for the hotel, an extravagant thing that has Clint gaping even as he follows the others. Happy double-checks the suite while Clint remains in the corridor with Tony and Pepper. His hands itch for his bow, too exposed though no one is around. After several heart-pounding minutes, Happy gives the all-clear, and Clint ushers the other two inside. He throws the lock as soon as the door slips into place, makes sure it can’t open, then stands awkwardly in the middle of the room as Happy sits on the couch. Tony disappears through one of the doors, and Pepper toes off her heels and pads barefoot to the kitchen.

It isn’t until later, when Clint is lying in bed across from Happy, that he wishes he’d asked to bring Lucky with him. Sighing, he settles in for a long, sleepless night.

#winterhawk #clint barton #james 'bucky' barnes #fic #fanfic #letters from home #gen #my writing

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