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flanaganfilm · 2 years

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Good day Mr Flanagan. please what does "the rest is confetti" mean to you and in the context it was used in hill house??

Okay, here we go. Buckle up for a long read.

To answer this, I've got to explain a little bit about what was happening and where I was when I sat down to write episode 10 of The Haunting of Hill House.

Hill House was not a fun shoot. The picture above is from very early in production, when I was still chubby and happy.

It was my first foray into television. I was absolutely terrified that I'd mess it up. So I'd opted to direct all of the episodes myself, figuring that - if nothing else - I'd have no one else to blame if it went south.

It was the most grueling professional experience of my career. The shoot was by no means a smooth one, every day was an uphill battle from a budgetary perspective, and between the three giant production entities involved with the production, I spent a lot of time fighting over the creative and logistical elements of the series.

I began losing weight. I was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.

By the end of the shoot, I had dropped almost 40 lbs.

I was very depressed. Every day was a battle, and for the first time in my career, I wasn't excited to go to work in the morning. We were fighting for basic resources, fighting for the show we wanted, and even fighting amongst ourselves by the end. It was grueling.

We hadn't written all of the scripts when we started production. I believe we had finished through episode 7, but the rest of the scripts had to be finished while we were already shooting.

We'd mapped everything out in the writers room, and I had great support on the other episodes, but I was writing the finale solo. I'd thought I'd be able to juggle it with everything else. I quickly fell behind.

I finally got to the script about halfway through production. I'd work on it between takes at the monitor, and then get home to our tiny rental house in Atlanta, where Kate was waiting with our baby son. (One of the rare bright spots of this shoot came when Kate found out she was pregnant about halfway through production. We even named our daughter Theodora, in honor of her origins.)

I'd typically fall down from exhaustion when I got home, but I had to push through it and work on the script. My weekends were spent shotlisting and prepping for upcoming episodes. We didn't have enough time to stay ahead of prep, so every available day was used for that... I went three months without a single day off at one point.

I'd sit up late staring at the script. I was in a dark, dark place. Overwhelmed, exhausted, and feeling like I lived in an eternal present. Each day bled into the next and it didn't feel like there was an end in sight. That feeling of unreality was heightened because we kept returning to the same sets, same locations, and even the same scenes throughout the 100 shooting-day production. Stepping back into the exact room we had shot in days or weeks or even months ago made the whole thing feel absolutely surreal. Making movies is always an non-linear experience, but this one felt particularly so... it was like the days of our lives were happening to us all out of order.

I remember feeling something like despair creeping into my daily experience on the show. And I remember dwelling on that when I got into the scene work of episode 10.

As I worked through the draft, I recall that despair coloring a lot of what was on the page. My filter was breaking down. There's a monologue at the beginning of the episode where Steven's wife Leigh (played by my dear friend Samantha Sloyan) spews out a torrent of eviscerating insults about Steve's value as a writer. That is just me vomiting onto myself. She was voicing all of my deepest insecurities about myself at the time, and of what I was doing with this series.

She says "Is anything real before you write it, Steve? The things you write about, they're real. Those people are real, their feelings are real, their pain is real - but not to you, is it. Not until you chew it up, digest it, and shit it out onto a piece of paper and even then, it's a pale imitation at best."

This was the mindset I was in for a lot of the shoot. The writing became a reflection of a lot of that turmoil, and I knew who I was referring to in that monologue - I was talking about my family. I was talking about how much of their lives I'd used as building material for this show. I was talking about the fact that I'd lost two loved ones to suicide, and seen what it had done to my mother in particular. And I knew I was using - possibly even exploiting - those people for this series.

There's a lot of despair in this episode. The Red Room, as we conceived it, was a place that would feed upon those emotions. Grief, sadness, loss... those were the real ghosts of our series, and where our characters find themselves at the start of the finale. They're being slowly digested - eaten alive - by those feelings.

So finally, it came time to write Nell's final scene with her siblings. I knew from the outline we'd constructed in the writers room what this was supposed to accomplish - she was supposed to be their salvation. She was supposed to take all of these feelings that we'd been wrestling with and finally provide catharsis... finally say something that would free everyone.

I remember sitting with a blinking cursor for a long time. The Crain siblings had just turned and seen Nellie standing by the door, and suddenly were able to hear her speak. But what should she say? What would I say? What would I want someone to say to me?

What she ultimately says lays bare a lot of what I was thinking about when it comes to grief. It exists outside of linear time, much as I felt I existed at the time. That sense of eternal present, that sense of a nonlinear eternity of moments and memories - it all came out in her speech to her brothers and sisters.

I remember feeling, looking at my insane present and looking back at my past, how strangely overwhelmed I was by memories. That I wasn't experiencing time in a straight line, and hadn't been for a while - for the better part of a year, I'd felt more like I was standing in a whirlwind of moments. "Our moments fall around us like..." Nell said, and I recall sitting back and trying to find the words.

"Rain," for certain, but there was something too uniform about that. The moments of life as I experienced them weren't that orderly, they weren't that small. They didn't fall the same way. Some sailed by, fast and unremarkable, while others lingered in front of me, twisting and stretching. So it was a good word, but not the right word. I left it on the page though.

"Snow" was my next attempt. Better, in that I imagined the snow blowing in the wind, swirling and dancing and feeling more organic. More chaotic. More like life. But for some reason, the word that stuck with me, the word I felt Nell Crain would connect with was...

"Confetti."

And that was because I was thinking not of Victoria Pedretti at this point, but of Violet McGraw.

Violet played Young Nell, and I wondered what she might have said if she experienced time this way. As an adult, Nell was despairing. Nell was overwhelmed. But as a child... there was an innocence to the word. There was a joy to the word.

I imagined moments falling around her, this little girl with the big smile and the wide eyes. Her moments would be colorful. They would be of different shapes and sizes, some falling fast and some falling slow, flipping and turning and dancing in the air, independent of the others. Sparkling, whirling, doing lazy summersaults as they sauntered down to Earth.

I thought of myself, and of the members of my family. I thought of those we'd lost. I realized what I hoped for them, and for us all, in the end... was to look upon that mosaic of experience, that avalanche of days and minutes and moments... and to smile with some of the joy we had as children.

And this, I thought, was something that gave me hope. This gave me a glimpse of some kind of salvation for them. This was also how I hoped my life might seem if I was a ghost - a cascade of color and light and shape and movement, something I could dance in.

So Nell smiled and said... "or confetti."

It stuck with me. The rest of her monologue gets heavy again, and gets to the real point of the show - the point of the whole series, if I'm honest - and that's forgiveness.

I figured the only thing that would let the Crain children out of the Red Room was to be forgiven. I thought of the losses in my own family, and I thought of what I wished for my mother and for my aunts and uncles and cousins and I tried to pour that into her final words.

"I loved you completely, and you loved me the same," she said, "that's all." And this was the point I wanted the most to make. That at the end of our life, if we can say this about each other, the rest doesn't matter. The rest is that rainstorm, or that blizzard, that fell around this one central truth, and maybe built itself in piles around it, to the point we lost sight of it along the way.

And I thought again of that little girl, and almost as an afterthought, wrote "The rest is confetti."

I liked the way it sounded, but I was insecure about the line. I almost took it out, in fact. I remember asking Kate to read the scene and talking about that last line with her. "Is it too cute?" I wondered. She was on the fence. "Depends on how it's acted," she said, and I figured she was right. We could always take it out if it didn't work. The scene could end with "I loved you completely, and you loved me the same. That's all."

Why not shoot it and see what happened.

I turned in the script, we published it quickly so that we could start breaking it down and prepping it. And the next morning I was back on set. I'd deal with episode 10 when it came down the pipe again, sometime in the coming months. We had a lot of shooting to get through before I had to worry about it.

I recall Netflix asking me to cut a lot of that monologue, and I remember them also having questions about the "confetti" line. I pointed out that it didn't cost us any extra to shoot it all, it was only words, and fought to keep the script intact.

Ultimately, they insisted I make a series of cuts on the page. I begrudgingly agreed, but left Nell's speech alone. I made superficial cuts around it, throughout the draft, and even considered changing the font size to fool them into thinking it had gotten shorter (I ultimately was told I wouldn't fool anyone and not to risk starting a war). But Nellie's final goodbye stayed intact.

It must be said - Victoria Pedretti SLAUGHTERED this scene.

By the time we got around to filming it, things had never been worse for the production. There was almost nothing left for a lot of us. Tensions were sky-high, resources had been exhausted completely, and we were all ready to give up.

Filming in the mold-ridden Red Room was depressing, morose, and led to a lot of arguments and unpleasantness. The room itself just felt gross, always, and we were in there for days at a time. The last thing we had to shoot in there was Nellie's goodbye.

Victoria came to set having to push through pages of monologue, and she did so with captivating bravado. I recall being teary-eyed at the monitor watching her work. And when we finally made it to the last line, I watched her deliver it with... a smile. A sincere, innocent, longing, joyful smile. A smile informed by the sadness, grief, and loss of her own situation, of her own life... but a smile that finds forgiveness and grace after all. Pedretti knew how to say the line, and how that word would work.

And as she said it, I knew it would stay in the show.

Over the years, that sentence has become something of a tagline for The Haunting of Hill House. I'm always a bit mystified and touched when I see people approach me with the line on T-shirts, or even tattooed on their bodies.

I started signing it with autographs back in 2020 after enough fans asked me to. Now it's my go-to when I sign anything related to Hill House.

The line, for me, represents a lot of things.

It's about the insane, chaotic, non-linear experience of making that show. It's about trying to find and hold onto joy, even in the grips of despair.

It's about the way the moments of our lives aren't linear, not really, and how we may be unable to understand them as we exist in their flurry. It's about finding hope, innocence and forgiveness in the final reckoning.

And it's about how, outside of our love for each other, the rest is just... well, it's fleeting. It's colorful. It's overwhelming. It's blinding. It's dancing. And, if we look at it right, it's beautiful. But it's also light. It's tinsel. It flits and dances and falls and fades, it's as light as air.

The rest is the stuff that falls around us, and flits away into nothing.

It's the love that stays.

#haunting of hill house #the rest is confetti #that was a very long story #man I was not okay while we were shooting that #forgiveness #heal

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wintersera · 6 months

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your order ma’am || g!p yujin x f!reader

notes: apparently my brain works at ungodly hours like its 8am rn??? ANYWAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY @pupyuj <33 well happy belated birthday, but oh well

cw: g!p yujin, switch!reader, switch!yujin, praise, crack only bc i laughed a few times while writing, WEED USAGE!!, reader and yujin get high

wc: 1.5k

in the middle of your living room, smoke filled the air as you took another puff from your almost burnt out spliff. your eyes trained on the tv that had a random episode of spongebob on the screen. probably one of the random old seasons, the funnier ones obviously. the moonlight cascaded through your window illuminating the side of your face, blunt as well.

another smoke session today again. and for what? the nth time this week. to be fair it was a stressful month and no one was there to comfort you, except for the frequent delivery guys who’d deliver your food to you whenever you felt the need to snack on something. they wouldn’t comfort you, rather, you’d like to believe they’re comforting you with their presence. presence being them knocking on your door and leaving after 10 seconds.

every delivery was the same, the old ‘shove the bag into your face, ask if it’s you and then leave’.

tonight was different though. you ordered from the same place a good 30 minutes ago thinking your food would arrive on time, you’d gotten accustomed to their arrival times so you could just guess without having to look at your phone. yet the delivery guy never came.

“man.. where the fuck is my food at?” rolling up another blunt since your last one wasn’t strong enough. you sigh and stare directly at your tv once more. heh… funny spongebob episode. your lips met the tip of your freshly rolled blunt, lighting up the end and inhaling.

knock knock knock

the knock didn’t register in your head until you heard the person bang on your door three more times, although they seemed like very hesitant bangs, with an odd spacing between the second and the last one.

“oh fuck” immediately dropping the blunt upon the last knock, which somehow made you panic. why in hell did you think it was the police???

right, because the police were definitely at your house and not the delivery guy with a bag of food waiting for you.

i mean, you are high so…. but anyway, it was raining and you suddenly regained the knowledge that you ordered food. you reluctantly opened the door, with the thought of the police at the back of your mind, to find a pretty handsome looking woman outside your door.

“uh… why are you here” why the fuck did you say that? the taller woman scrunched her nose a little, maybe because you reeked of weed, looked around awkwardly and spoke to you without initiating eye contact.

“you called and i… came to your address to give you the pizza you ordered”

“how’d you know i lived here?” oh so now you’re interrogating the poor girl.

“wha- that’s not… anyway here’s your pizza ma’am” shoving the pizza box in front of your face. classic.

“ohhh shit pizza, okay nice. how much?” words slurring out of your mouth. your hands reached for your purse that you conveniently had in your pocket.

“it’ll be $18” looking around the place as if she had no time to stand around.

oh what the fuck.

where’s your cash gone….?

“don’t be alarmed… but i have no cash” you say with a smile, your eyes half lidded as you chuckle even though the opposing girl was nowhere near impressed. the situation was quite ridiculous to you, but you felt a tinge of regret after saying what you had said.

from what you could tell, it was her first time on the job. you had never seen her come round to your house on a random thursday night, no wonder why she looked so nervous “oh um, sorry i don’t have any cash i could….”

yeah, you’re high out of your mind right now. no coherent thoughts whatsoever, but she’s pretty, and you’re not thinking straight “i mean… i could pay another way. you wouldn’t mind would you?”

you beckoned her inside of your home, taking the pizza box and placing it beside your ashtray on the coffee table “how can you pay me back if you don’t have any cash? are you gonna paypal me or something”

“are you dense by any chance”

“n-no… i’m just confused. wait, why are you taking your clothes off?” you picked back up the disregarded spliff after you took your shirt off, inhaling and blowing the smoke in the opposite direction.

“paying you the other way, duh. like in those stupid porn videos where the delivery guy does whatever they want to the person because they didn’t have any cash on them… you don’t like the idea?”

“that seems really unrealistic and stupid, but um i’m not… uh how do i word this? i don’t m-mind” unintentionally stuttering, bewildered by the situation because honestly what the fuck is going on.

“come here…” you squint your eyes at her name tag “ahn yujin- your name has a nice ring to it” she sat on your sofa, shaking from what could be adrenaline or just anxiety. but considering you accidentally hot boxed her in your small living room, it’s most likely adrenaline.

you slid yourself in between her two thighs, smirking as you unzipped her jeans. you eagerly stripped her from her jeans, following her boxers? it’s 2023 you’re not gonna judge someone for wearing boxers, but-

oh?

yujin’s cock sprung up, which genuinely caught you off guard, moving back a little because of how shocked you were by the sudden reveal. my god, she was huge. bigger than the average man.

considering you were still heavily intoxicated, you didn’t believe it was real at first. you stared at it for a while thinking that maybe you were just- crazy? but no, it was very much real and very much hard.

“d-don’t look” muttering under her breath. yujin covered her face out of embarrassment “i swear it’s not what it looks like- mh”

“you got turned on by me didn’t you” giggling after kissing the tip of her cock “i bet you were waiting for this exact situation to happen, didn’t you?” you say before taking her whole length, the tip hitting the back of your throat with ease.

“f..fuck, it’s- mmmngh” she couldn’t do much, the air was thick with clouds of smoke due to the lack of airflow in your room. it was making her head hazy, unable to think coherently. yujin’s moans were soft and low, her hands roamed around and grabbed your pillow, her hips moved at the pace of your head going up and down, which in fact made you groan in approval.

in the meantime, your hand reached down to tend to your own wetness, caressing your folds as you continued to suck her cock.

without thinking, yujin lifted herself off the sofa. the marijuana made her move without thinking, grabbing you and tossing you onto the cushions “you hinted that i could do whatever, right?” you found yourself shocked, what made her suddenly so confi- the weed you dumbass.

“don’t think you're slick, i saw you playing with yourself” moving aside your panties while licking her lips, yujin shuffling in between your thighs “i think you should come around my cock instead” how, and when, was she this vulgar? she teased your hole before slowly pushing herself into you, her girthy cock filling you up in no time. you both moaned in unison, your fists balling the fabric of yujin’s shirt. it felt… it felt way too big for your tight pussy.

“y-yujin.. you’re too big, it kinda hurts-“ she gave you no time to rest, rocking her hips back and forth as soon as she got comfortable inside of you.

at first she was going slow and steady, but gradually she increased her speed. within minutes of slowly pumping her cock in and out, she was mercilessly ramming into your cunt seconds later. the pain at first was unbearable, she was just that big, but the faster she fucked you the more pleasure you felt. every part of her cock hit every spot you couldn’t find yourself, and god it felt way too good.

“so- so good… so tight.. mmghn fuck, your pussy feels amazing” embarrassingly enough, you moaned so loud at the comment. her praise alone was so comforting and so erotic that you couldn’t help but squeeze down on her length, she noticed how you reacted to her sweet words, wanting more of your reactions “you’re so pretty… under me. all fucked out, such a good girl”

her comment sent you over the edge, rolling your eyes back as your back slowly arches off the sofa. almost inaudible as you bite your lip to mute your own moans. yujin followed shortly after, giving one final thrust into you before stilling her hips and letting her warm cum shoot into you.

“that… was… so good” you mutter between breaths. you were completely spent, your legs were feeling like jelly but somehow yujin was still hard.

“still not enough. you still need to repay me more”

yeah no, you still needed to pay for service fees and shit. thankfully it was her last delivery for tonight.

#wintersera #ive smut #g!p ive #g!p yujin #ahn yujin smut #ive x fem reader smut #ive x reader smut #ahn yujin x reader smut #yujin x reader smut #girl group smut #kpop smut

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exitpursuedbyavulcan · 8 months

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What is Broken I (Aemond Targaryen x Pregnant Wife!Reader)

The war, the "Dance of the Dragons," as they have come to call it, is over. And yet, you are not celebrating. You have just learned that your husband, Prince Aemond, spent the last months of the war with another woman in his bed. Not only that, but his mistress is pregnant. Just like you...

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (third person, no use of Y/N), side Aemond Targaryen x Alys Rivers

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy and related symptoms, infidelity, some pushing and hitting

Author's Note: It's finally here! Sorry y'all, this month a) I found out my dog has terminal cancer, b) I got covid, and c) my laptop randomly went kaput in the middle of an episode of the West Wing. But it's finally here! As it says on the taglist, this will be a three-part series.

Taglist is done via reblogs

What is Broken

It was a lovely night in King’s Landing.

There was not a cloud to be seen for miles, and the stars were bright and twinkling. The waters of Blackwater Bay were calm and reflected the full moon as clearly as a freshly polished mirror. Even the wind seemed in a pleasant mood, carrying the sweet scent of spring on its back as it drifted lazily through the windows of the Red Keep.

Every bit of it grated on her heart like a whetstone across dull steel.

The worst night of one’s life should not be so lovely, she thought. It should be terrible. With storms and an angry sea, and perhaps even a raging fire somewhere in the distance.

If the night had been so, she would not have seen it when, only a few moments ago, a massive winged form landed in the fields just outside the city with a lowing wail, the last person she wanted to see strapped to its back. Thankfully, Aemond was far enough away that she could not make him out against the mass of his mount.

The people would cheer him in the streets as he rode toward the castle. The victorious Prince, returning after long months at war, having not only ended the war itself but avenged the deaths of his eldest sister, brother, and his little nieces and nephews.

Daemon Targaryen and his dragon had perished above the God’s Eye, the waters below boiling when their bodies fell into its depths.

With the Rogue Prince gone, the war was swiftly over. Rhaenyra was killed, her last remaining son taken as King Aegon’s ward, and the royal host returned to King’s Landing victorious. Even Cregan Stark had agreed to halt his advance South, redirecting to Harrenhal for peace talks.

Harrenhal. A cursed place, now to be the site of great diplomacy.

Even thinking about the horrible castle was enough to turn her stomach.

A letter detailing exactly what had occurred within those melted stone halls during the war, written by the late Prince Daemon himself, sat on her vanity. A final act of retribution against his soon-to-be killer.

She knew that her husband was only returning home because of the letter.

My dear Princess, Despite the conflict between our sides of the family, I have always thought you a rather sweet girl. Therefore, it is with the deepest regret that I must now shoulder the burden of informing you of your beloved husband’s improper conduct during this awful conflict…

A pang of nausea shot through her stomach as she remembered the words.

A mistress… some Strong bastard… called Alys, my spies tell me… every night, without fail… from the very first week… another bastard babe in the whore’s witchly womb…

There was a pounding from within her, soft thumps and kicks as the life inside her own womb became unsettled by its mother’s roiling emotions. She laid a hand over her belly, whispering soothing words she did not believe to try and calm it – and herself.

Once, she would never have believed Daemon’s stories. But then word came that, after the final battle, Aemond returned to Harrenhal for less than an hour before he again mounted Vhagar and flew for King’s Landing. It was not like Aemond to make such swift decisions. Nor did it strike her as the action of an innocent man.

When she called for Ser Willis Fell, her heart had been filled with hope that the new Lord Commander of the Kingsguard would dispel her worries. That she had only allowed herself to consider the possibility of Aemond’s infidelity because her mind was addled by her delicate condition.

“My princess, I cannot, in good conscience, tell you a lie…”

She had screamed then. And cried. And possibly thrown things at the Kingsguard, but she couldn’t entirely remember.

All she could remember was how Aemond kissed her on the day he left for Harrenhal. Deeply and passionately. Until she could feel his love for her as clearly as her own heartbeat. Then he knelt before her and placed a single, tender kiss to her belly, to where they had only just learned that their babe grew.

Less than a moon’s turn later, he had taken another woman to his bed, and seeded her, too.

Now he was returning home – in haste.

He knew, then. That Daemon had let slip his secret. Perhaps it had even been the Rogue Prince’s last words. Spat in Aemond’s face in the seconds before his body tumbled into the lake below. Had she not been caught in the crossfire, she might have admired it for the masterful manipulation it was.

But in seeking to destroy Aemond, Daemon had destroyed her as well.

She was broken from her thoughts by the distant sound of people cheering. Aemond was making his way through the city more quickly than she thought. The streets weren’t as crowded as she hoped they would be this late at night.

It was late. Far later than she had become accustomed to. These days, she was often in bed and asleep not long after the sun had set, hoping that she would somehow find a full night’s sleep. Never to any avail.

For a moment, she thought of slipping beneath the blankets and pretending to be asleep so she would not have to speak to Aemond until the morning. But he would only crawl into bed with her, and then he would see when she inevitably woke…

That was not a conversation she wanted to have today. Really, there was no conversation she wanted to have with Aemond, only that which must be had.

She was resolved that Aemond would not find her weeping or stewing in heartbreak. No, she would not let him think he held such power over her, even if he did. He always had, even when they were young children.

So, she resumed her nightly routine as though nothing was wrong, as if she was entirely unaffected by his betrayal. Sitting at her vanity, she began to unbraid her hair. Her maids usually did it for her, but she had dismissed them the moment she read Daemon’s letter, not wanting to see their pitying faces for longer than she had to.

Since learning she was with child, everyone – including her maids – fussed over her constantly. It was not without reason, she knew. There was indeed very good reason why everyone was so concerned about her. But after six months, she was tired of it.

Just the simple act of taking her braids out and brushing through her loose hair by herself brought a welcome feeling of independence that she had not felt in some time. Perhaps ever.

That feeling slowly faded away as the cheering and celebration from the city came closer and closer, until she could hear gauntleted hands clapping in the castle courtyard below.

Aemond was here.

Her hand fell to cradle her stomach and was immediately met by three quick thumps against her palm. She knew the child did not understand what was happening and was only responding to the touch itself, much in the same way a cat arches its back when petted.

Still, it comforted her. It made her feel like she was not alone.

“Kirimvossi, rūhossas,” she whispered with a smile before resuming brushing her hair.

Her smile did not last.

Sooner than she had hoped, she heard the clanking of armor as the guards outside her door straightened, bowed, then retreated.

A shiver went through her, stealing the air from her chest while cold gathered in her heart and began sinking to her stomach. Dragging her brush through her hair suddenly took great effort, as did every breath.

Yet it was surprisingly easy to banish the tears forming in her eyes and school her face into tired neutrality. To glance only once at the figure now lingering in the doorway before turning away without acknowledging him.

She did not know if it was strength or cowardice.

He called her name, his voice rasping and low – desperate. “We must speak.”

She did not respond. She didn’t even look at him.

Aemond sighed, calling her name again. “Please, my love. Look at me.”

Still, she did not move.

“Ābrazȳrītsos,” he said, a hint of command slipping into his plea. Little wife.

He had always loved calling her little. According to their mother, the first thing Aemond did when he saw her as a babe was exclaim, “She’s so little!”

Ever since, he’d been calling her little.

First, she was simply hāedus. Little sister.

Whenever she tried to follow Aemond when he went somewhere she wasn’t allowed or did something she wasn’t allowed to do, he would gently scold her, “Haedus, you’re too little.” Inevitably, she would cry. About half the time, her crying was enough to sway him.

Then, she became zaldrīzītsos. Little dragon.

“You’re my zaldrīzītsos,” he would say when she hugged him tightly after Aegon or one of the Strong boys mocked him for not having a dragon. She didn’t have one either, but she never felt she needed one, for she had Aemond.

For a time, she was maegītsos. Little witch.

Aemond had dubbed her so when she came to visit him in the Maester’s tower while he recovered from the loss of his eye. The Maester would give her some “special leaves” so she could brew a “magic potion” to help Aemond get better. In truth, the potion was simply tea. But Aemond always pretended that the potion had indeed worked miracles, just to make her happy.

Once he was healed, she was again zaldrīzītsos.

Since he finally had a true dragon, she worried that he would not want her anymore. When she came to him in tears one day as he was leaving the Keep to see Vhagar, he hugged her tightly and told her, “You will always be my zaldrīzītsos.” Then he brought her with him to ride Vhagar. It was the best day of her life.

Or it was, until the day they were officially betrothed, and she became raqiarzītsos. Little darling.

It was what he would call her every morning when he greeted her with a chaste kiss on the cheek. How he would summon her to his side at court events. What he moaned when they kissed unchastely each evening before saying goodnight.

She had been so excited when she became his ‘ābrazȳrītsos.’ The first time he had whispered it in her ear at the wedding feast, she’d blushed so brightly that their grandsire inquired about her health. The next time he said it, Aemond made sure they were alone.

Little sister. Little dragon. Little witch. Little darling. Little wife.

Always little.

Once, the names had made her heart flutter with delight. Now, they only prompted another wave of nausea.

Aemond was everything to her – he always had been. She thought he felt the same way, but it seemed she was wrong. To him, she was just “little.”

She flinched at the sound of his voice, of that word. How he spoke to her like she was some frightened animal poised to lash out.

Yet at the same time, her heart melted to hear the voice she loved so dearly after so long an absence. Merely the sight of him in the mirror sent a feeling of warmth and belonging flooding through her.

She hated him.

She loved him.

She was angrier at him than she had ever been in her life.

She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms.

She could do nothing but continue to brush her hair and stare into her reflection.

Aemond sighed, finally stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. “You won’t even look at me, ābrazȳrītsos?”

She gave no answer.

He whispered her name again, “Abrazȳrītsos, please,” Aemond’s voice turned quiet as he reached her and set a hand on her shoulder as if to turn her around by force, but she wrenched herself out of his grip, staring down at the floor. Though she did not look at him, she could almost feel the misery on his face. “Please look at me.”

“If I look at you, I fear I will be sick,” she explained weakly. “I don’t want to harm the babe.”

His irritation began to surge, she knew it even without seeing him. His breathing quickened slightly, and she could hear the creaking of leather as he rolled his shoulders and balled his hands into fists – he had been so hurried he had not yet taken off his riding gloves.

“You are my wife,” he huffed. She could hear him attempt to contain the sharp edge of barely contained anger in his soft voice. At least he was considerate enough to hide it. “You are my sister – my blood. You love me as I love you, and you carry my child within you. Yet you cannot even look at me?”

Fury roared to life like a surging flame within her. How dare he be angry with her when he is the one who ruined everything?

“Why did you come back?” she spat back, quietly yet viciously.

His stare continued to weigh on her through the mirror. “I promised you the day I left that I would return to you when the war was done,” he said, half-smiling at the memory. “The war is over, so here I am.”

She shook her head. “The war is not over.”

“Of course, it is. Daemon and Rhaenyra are dead, and – ”

“The fighting is over,” she corrected. “But the war is not finished. Peace must still be brokered. As Prince Regent, that is your responsibility. Yet you are here rather than with the rest of the soldiers and politicians at Harrenhal. Why?”

She wanted him to be the one to say it.

Aemond sighed, raising a hand to touch her, then pulling away. “Is it so hard to believe that I missed you and simply couldn’t stand to stay away a moment longer?”

She was moving before she could process what she was doing, standing from the vanity and turning to face Aemond, her hand raised and ready to strike.

But he caught her arm by the wrist, stopping her moments before her palm could impact his cheek – his scarred cheek. His eye was wide, filled with sadness and shock in equal measure. He turned to look at her hand as if it was some kind of curiosity he had never seen before, like he couldn’t understand how it could ever be raised against him.

Tears were spilling down her cheeks when he turned back to her, and his expression gave over entirely to despair. Aemond opened his mouth, but words failed him.

He lowered her hand gently, bowing his head slightly to the right to give her an easier target.

It broke something within her.

She dove toward him, wrapping her arms around him as she cried into his chest, clinging to him as if he were her the only thing keeping her anchored to the ground.

But the moment Aemond moved to return the embrace, she shoved him away. It only moved him a step back, still within her reach. He did not move closer, and when she began to pound her fists furiously against his chest, he didn’t try to stop her.

“Why did you come back?” she demanded as she pushed him once more. “Why did you not just stay in Harrenhal with your whore and leave us alone?”

Aemond did not respond. His mouth hung open, but he said nothing. He could do nothing but stare at her, his eye flitting between her belly, where his child had grown –so much he could hardly believe it – in his absence, to her eyes.

Those eyes. A warm, rich brown that shone with gold in the firelight. It was Aemond’s favorite color. For whenever he saw it, in her eyes or their mother’s, he knew he was home.

But now those eyes he loved so dearly were filled with tears of his own making. He wanted nothing more than to see them dry and sparkling with love once more.

“Abrazȳrītsos, you must know I will always return to you,” he begged, stepping forward and cautiously placing a hand on her belly. Almost immediately, he felt a stirring within her, and a weak pushing against him.

His child.

Was it reaching for him, or pushing him away?

Before he could truly ponder either answer, his wife pulled away from him, her arms curling protectively around her abdomen.

He had to say something. Something to take her pain away, to make everything well again so he would have the chance to hold her and the babe. Even if it was a lie, he would say it if it made her forgive him.

“Raqiarzītsos,” he started, only for her to take another step away and scowl at him. He sighed as the realization of how deeply had hurt her truly sunk in. He softly called her name, “My love, it was one mistake. One moment of weakness, I swear –”

“Liar!” Her voice had grown rough with her fury, and Aemond flinched at the sound. He had never heard her shout like that, not even when she was a babe herself.

She saw his discomfort and reveled in it. Seeing him suffer a fraction of what she felt gave her a sinful spark of joy, one that she felt no need to beg forgiveness from the Seven for. She turned away from him and retrieved the letter from Daemon, panting as she looked over the words once more.

“A mistress now lies in your husband’s bed. She was a wetnurse at Harrenhal, some Strong bastard. She must be something truly special, for she is the only Strong – trueborn or bastard – to have survived Aemond’s rather thorough purging of the bloodline. I suppose it is now clear why. I have not been able to learn much about her. She is called Alys, my spies tell me.”

With smoldering eyes, she turned to Aemond and began to read aloud. “She reports to your husband’s chambers every night without fail, as she has done from the very first week he arrived at that cursed place. One of my spies even reported that he calls her to him after each battle or razing of some poor Riverlanders, as well as anytime he feels frustrated. It is no surprise, then, that there is another bastard babe in the whore’s witchly womb. Your brothers do have a fondness for seeding unsuitable women, don’t they?”

When she looked up from the letter, she found Aemond’s face set in anger, his fingers curled as though they were aching to grip his sword and run someone through. His eye flew from the letter to her face, the rage burning there only softening for a moment.

The left corner of Aemond’s mouth twitched upward involuntarily, and he jerked his head to the side to try and hide it. “You would believe Daemon’s word over mine, abrazȳrītsos? After all he has done?”

She let the letter drift back to the table. “If all I had was his word, I would not have believed it,” she explained. “But it is not only his word.”

Aemond exhaled slowly, looking away from her. Incensed as he was, he would not make her the target of his ire. Never her. “Will you tell me who else?”

“No,” she answered, shaking her head slightly. There was a dark glint in his eye that promised violent retribution upon whoever she would name. No one deserved torture, or perhaps even death, for telling the truth.

With a nod, Aemond closed his eyes and bowed his head. He would not press her further, though she knew he would likely still try to find out who it was by other means. But in that moment, she could not bring herself to care.

She was so tired.

She had anticipated a long fight, and thought she was ready for it. In the hours she waited for Aemond’s return, she had carefully tended the spark of her anger so it would burn only when she commanded. But the moment she saw him, it escaped her grasp and became a wildfire in a dry grassland. It was fierce, quick, and lethal. In an instant, it had consumed every bit of her strength, leaving only the barest smoldering remains in its wake.

After a few more silent moments, Aemond again opened his eyes and looked down at his wife.

“I will not insult your intelligence by trying to deny it any further,” he said, clenching his fist to stop himself from reaching for her, “and I know there is nothing I can say to excuse what I have done. But my love, I truly am sorry. For what I did, and for the hurt I have caused you.”

She stared at him, trying to detect and hint of insincerity. She found none.

“I love you. I know I have given you ample reason to doubt that but…” he swallowed thickly. “I do love you, abrazȳrītsos. I always have and I always will. I know in my heart that the gods made us for each other. And if they had fated us to others, I swear I would have defied their will and ripped them from the heavens so that I could love you.”

He licked his lips and removed his gloves before offering her his shaking hand.

Perhaps it was the result of the weariness pervading her entire being. Perhaps it was the tug of an unborn babe reaching out, somehow knowing its father was near. Perhaps it was the sliver of her soul that had always belonged to Aemond beckoning her to rejoin him and become whole again.

Whatever the reason, despite the protestations of her aching heart and her rational mind, she put her hand in his.

It did not fit as well as it used to.

If Aemond noticed, he did not acknowledge it. He raised their joined hands to his lips to kiss before resuming his plea. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I will understand if you do not give it, but for the sake of my heart and the love we share, I must ask it. Abrazȳrītsos, can you ever forgive me?”

The world fell silent, and so did she.

If she focused, she could hear her heartbeat, along with two others, thumping out three different rhythms. It was discordant, yet somehow comforting. She listened to it for a moment, trying to hear a melody within it. But there was nothing.

She turned her attention to her hand in Aemond’s grasp. There was a welcome heat where his skin touched hers, but also a tingling numbness. A slight discomfort, akin to wearing new gloves before they had softened and molded to her hands.

Then, she looked at Aemond. At the face that was more familiar to her than her own. It had changed in the last six months – more so than she would have expected. The color of his skin had deepened from so many days spent in the sun, and there were new blemishes that had not been there before. The shadows under his eyes, the roughness where it once was smooth, and the new smudge of a scar above the corner of his right brow.

All of it was strange. Known, yet unknown. Question, but no answer.

“I don’t know,” she whispered.

“What…” Aemond’s lip quirked again as he cupped her cheek with his free hand. “I don’t understand, what don’t you know, my love?”

She winced slightly at the foreign sensation of his hand against her skin. He had callouses now he didn’t have before. “I don’t know how to forgive you, or if I even want to. I just feel… tired.”

Aemond nodded, bowing his head once more to hide the disappointment he could not keep from his face, and looked at her belly. “Of course, you are tired,” he said, “I am sorry, I did not consider how late it was.”

She caught his eye flicking towards the bed – their bed, or at least, it used to be. A cold coil of panic began to wrap itself around her heart. He could not sleep here. He could not see…

“I would prefer if you slept elsewhere,” she said hastily before he could ask otherwise. “For tonight, I would like to be alone.”

Tears shone in Aemond’s eye for a moment, but he did not let them fall. He gave her a tight smile and again kissed her hand. “If that is what you wish, I will obey, but may I ask one thing?”

It would be foolish to say yes. Foolish to give him the opportunity to persuade her at all when she knew how easily he had always been able to sway her with his sweet words. Foolish to do anything but send him away immediately.

And yet…

“What would you ask?” she whispered, betrayed by the foolish little part of her heart and soul that was still and would always be his ‘hāedus.’

“I ask only for a few moments, and then I will leave, as you wish. But it has been half a year, abrazȳrītsos, since I have seen you, or heard your voice, or held you in my arms.” He squeezed her hand, drawing her attention to his face, open and earnest and pleading. “So for only a few moments, please, allow me to hold you again.”

His softly spoken words were like a siren’s song, and she began to feel faint as she struggled to resist falling under its spell. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, begging her mind to calm and think clearly.

“I promise, I will do nothing more than hold you,” he said, running his hand delicately over her cheek. “I just want to hold my wife.”

He did not deserve it, she knew. Nor did he deserve to be touching her as he did now, though she did not push him away. He did not even deserve her consideration of his request.

But it had been half a year for her, too.

Half a year with no one to kiss her good morning or good night. No one to carry her to bed when her legs and back ached. No one to hold her hair and whisper soothing words when she was sick.

She’d had her mother, her sister, and her maids. Even a Maester, at one very low point. But that was not the same. It was not the touch of a beloved husband.

Despite her anger, she was aching to be held by him.

“Just for a few moments,” she whispered through trembling lips. “Then you must leave.”

She did not have time to regret her decision before Aemond pulled her forward and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead as he thanked her. And before she could pull away, he was turning her slowly, so her back was pressed flush against his chest.

“It’s alright,” he assured her when she made a soft noise of confusion. “Trust me, abrazȳrītsos.”

His hands skated down her arms, his touch featherlight and yet searing. She gasped as he began to cradle her belly, her head lolling back into his shoulder. If given one more breath, she would have pushed him away, but then…

He laced his fingers together and took the weight of her belly into his own arms.

It was a rapturous feeling, to have the burden of it lifted from her and her eternally aching spine, even for a moment. She sighed in relief and leaned back further into her husband. Gratitude flooded through her, and her hands flew to rest over his.

“Oh, Aemond,” she breathed into his neck.

Gods, she had missed him so much. Everything would have been so much easier if he’d been here to hold her like this. He had always known been able to help her, she should have known that even with their first child, he would somehow know what to do…

Her eyes snapped open, and her blood ran cold.

This was their first child, but it was not Aemond’s only child.

He had another, far away, within a different mother. A mother whom he had been there for as she grew, Who, thanks to her role as a wetnurse, would be able to teach him exactly how to help.

“Did you hold Alys like this?”

Aemond stiffened behind her, and his grip tightened. “Abrazȳrītsos…”

“Don’t lie to me, Aemond. Not anymore.”

Silence, then…

“Yes, I did.”

She seized his hands and ripped them apart, tearing herself out of his grasp as quickly as she could, heedless of him reaching for her. Stumbling, she crossed the room before turning back to him, eyes blazing through new tears.

“Do not ever touch me like you touched her,” she spat. Her rage had reignited, the barren grassland now an endless field of flame.

Aemond’s mouth hung open as he looked to her in despair, his arms held helplessly in front of him. His voice broke as he said her name – a plea. “I just wanted to hold you. To help you.”

“And you did. For a few moments, just as you asked. Now leave, as you promised.”

He was looking at her like she was a wild beast, primed to lash out should he make one wrong move. But she didn’t mind, for that was exactly what she felt like. He had made her feel that way, and she hated him for it.

Aemond just stood there, and she could see his mind working desperately to figure out what to say to placate her. She would not give him the chance.

“Leave!” she screamed, her voice ripping its way out of her throat, burning as it went. She could not help but wonder if that was what dragons felt when they breathed fire.

Lowering his arms, Aemond nodded. “I will leave, abrazȳrītsos. Just as I promised. I am sorry.”

“I don’t care.” She meant it. His apology meant absolutely nothing to her raging, broken heart.

She watched him carefully as he turned and walked through the door, ready to rage at him again if she needed to. Perhaps she would actually breathe fire the next time.

Aemond did not try anything to soothe her or convince her to change her mind. The warrior prince knew when a battle was lost. But she knew he had not yet ceded the war.

That much was clear when he paused in the doorway, looking back at her in determination. “I love you, abrazȳrītsos, and nothing will ever change that.”

Then he closed the door, and was gone.

But she could not stop crying, for she knew he would return.

Worse, she knew that as angry as she was, she loved him, too. And nothing would ever change that, either.

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taylorswiftbutsimp · 3 days

Note

Hello darling! 🫶🏼✨️

Could you write a one-shot when the reader finds out she is pregnant with different Blue Lock characters—separately—?

My favorite character is Sae Itoshi, and I would like you to write a little more about him. Have a nice day! <3

✧ A/n: Hi anon!!🫶🫶✨ (I do miss sae contents pookie hasn’t been around since😞) Have a nice day too <\3

✧ WARNINGS: Pregnancy, the characters are 18++, marriage life,angst if you squint,fluff, babies, Reader being clueless of being preggo,mentions of sex, period and Ovulation, clinic reader and barou rs is chaotic but healthy.

✧ Characters: Sae Itoshi, and Shoei Barou

★𝕊𝔸𝔼 𝕀𝕋𝕆𝕊ℍ𝕀

Sae watched as you eat another slice of cake at the bed while watching the sappy soup opera that kept you entertained the whole week to him. It is the same every episode insane sisters and revenge.

He shouldn't know whether to be concerned for you or impressed that you made it this far.

After getting out of the shower, he made his way to his side of the bed and prepared to lay down, expecting to cuddle up with you.

Not until he heard a crunch as he lay down, which you merely stared at him with a scowl "sae thats my chips why did you crush them" you gasped, pausing the movie preparing to give your spouse an earful of scolding.

It was bad enough that your breast and back hurt and a wave of pain ached, and to top it off, Sae just had to crush the chips with his awfully good physique.

"I'm sorry, honey. You don't usually eat in bed. Is something wrong?" Sae could just apologise, he couldn't be upset at you, not when your so gorgeous wearing a lace nightgown.

Tears well up in the corners of your eyes. “I get it, I eat too much!" You yelled, getting out of bed, searching for the warm slippers, reaching for the door, turning your back to Sae once more.

Making eye contact with him for a moment, Sae was relieved that you were ready to walk back in his arms, how wrong he was. You grabbed the bag of chips he crushed before fleeing the bedroom.

He could only stare at the other half of the bed, caressing the warm section that kept you cozy, wondering what went wrong.

The couch was not comfortable, but it was bearable rather than witnessing your eye-lashed freak hubby whine.

Trying to relieve your mind, in actuality, you don't know what to feel. Everything hurts, and you have migraine at certain times.

"Wife, let's talk" Sae said as he came out of the bedroom and approached you. He felt something was wrong but couldn't pinpoint what it was, but he was eager to talk to you.

He lifts your chin, attempting to make eye contact, saying, "Tell me what's wrong?"

"My head is aching sae" you whimpered, a pout appearing on your face, as he thoroughly cups your face, inching closer to you.

“Have you take a pregnancy test?”

"I haven't; what makes you believe I'm pregnant? You asked. Sure, you had cravings and bodily discomfort, but it's common a week before your period.

Three days ago was supposed to be the start of your menstruation. "I track your cycle on my phone and the last time we had sex was your ovulation" Sae remarked simply. You absolutely despised the fact he knew your body better.

Crumbling slowly away from his touch, you stood up and made your way to the bedroom, as he followed behind. "If I not pregnant, you'd be in so much trouble right now, sae!"

Sae were able to observe from the bathroom door that fighting fire with gasoline would be a horrible idea, nonetheless he was not opposed to having a baby.

A copy of you and him would be good

Who knew two red lines could bring so much happinesss

╰☆𝕊ℍ𝕆𝔼𝕀 𝔹𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕌

Barou crumbled for the nth time this night, feeling your palm smacking his biceps. This has been going on for the past couple of days every week, and he's starting to worry.

"I bought you a tub of ice cream check the fridge woman" sleepily mumbling eyes still shut grasping for the comforter to cover his body

Hopefully he will find his way to the dreamland once more. Unfortunately, his mother did not raise an arrogant child, but rather a gentleman.

He was now completely awake, sitting up to look at your wet eyes. "I don't want ice cream" you said with an expression of disappointment.

Shoei couldn't take seeing you cry, so the next thing he knew, he was running to the nearest convenience store in search for yogurts and onigiri.

Only to find yourself asleep on the couch with an empty tub of ice cream that you refused to eat earlier before sending him off late at night.

Putting the snacks away he bought at the store, he made his way to the coach, admiring your sleeping face, followed by his whisper “silly wife,” proceeding to carry you back to the bedroom for a more comfortable sleep.

When morning came, your scolding could be heard from outside if Shoei did the math. "I hate that perfume, you idotic donkey! It smells terrible."

“Wife,you said you liked this perfume a week ago-“

“How dare you talk back to me!”

Your husband had managed to persuade to go on a date. The trouble is, Shoei would drive you to the clinic and get you looked up. Was it bad for not telling you? Yes, he had considered it, but since he could no longer watch you scream and get upset at him, he believed you were pregnant without realizing it.

If he had done the numbers, you would have been too busy to notice, especially since he had funded your new interest.

Happy wife to a happy life

The date went successfully, and he was now driving you to a local clinic with a stuffed toy he picked out from a claw machine in an attempt to impress you and maybe brighten your mood.

“Where are we going, Shoei?” You asked, tapping his hand on your thigh.

“Clinic”

“Why? Are you sick why did you not tell me”

"No, I'm not sick; you are," he may have misspoke. The smack on your wrist he received hurt. Why did he get you a huge watch again?

The run back from the convenience store and the mood swings were worth it when the results went back positive.

#ᗯiᒪᒪoᗯ #this was short and delayed 🙁#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #sae itoshi x reader #barou shoei x reader #tw pregnancy #sae itoshi fluff #bllk x y/n #sleep deprived thoughts

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sunnys-out · 7 months

Text

My Little Darling | Alessia Russo

A/N: Hey y'all sorry this took a while but work got busy and didn't get a chance to work on anything. My French is rusty so please be kind.

I still remember how you told me how you would always be there for me

Warnings: language, injury

Word count: 2298

Alessia and I had met at our first team meeting at UNC and it seemed that all the international students just gravitated together. The other girls got a kick out of the French accent that came out when I introduced myself in English to the rest of the team.

I was desperate for friends, as were the other international girls, so I found myself getting close with the English players, Lotte Wubben-Moy and Alessia Russo, who was half Italian too as I came to find out. I loved them even though they did poke fun at the fact that France didn’t make it to the U-17 World Cup…joked that we would’ve met sooner.

It was nice experiencing America with them and I found myself enjoying the little moments with the both of them, especially Alessia. I wouldn’t dare ruin a friendship that early, I mean why would she even be attracted to me…we had just met a month ago at that point in time.

A little quirk of mine is that I gave people nicknames, usually some animal but in French that reminded me of my teammates. Lotte, I fondly called, hibou or owl. You got to admit it when she is all focused and everything when she is at the defensive line her eyes narrow like a little owl.

I hadn’t given one to Alessia only calling her Less, Lessie, Ali, or just simply Russo. She noticed, of course, pushing when the three of us were having a movie night at my dorm room.

“Why don’t I have a nickname?” Alessia poked my shoulder as we had just put on a random comedy on Netflix to watch. We were procrastinating on essays we had to all write for the same class but hey it was due in a week so we had time.

I furrow my eyebrows with confusion, “What? You have a nickname, I call you Less, Lessie, sometimes Ali…” I poke her back “Soooo, technically you have more than one”

Alessia let out a huff as she got comfortable and laid her head on my shoulder as Lotte also got comfortable on the other side of me.

“No, I meant a french nickname, like Lotte has one…do you not like me?” Alessia pouted as she looked up to me feigning sadness.

I roll my eyes and look at Lotte on the other side of me, “Ma petite hibou, can you believe her? She thinks I don’t like her…as if we are not watching a movie in my dormitory”. This earned a laugh from the other English girl.

Alessia lifted her head and pushed my shoulder, “See, you call her “Your little owl”, when can I get a cute nickname like that?”

Lotte raised her head, “wait, is that what that means? You calling me an owl?” I completely ignored her.

“Less, it just hasn’t come to me yet…but you keep yapping about it…I’ll call you canard, which is duck by the way”. A laugh escaped me before I finished the sentence as Alessia gave up and leaned her head back on my shoulder as we continued to watch the movie.

______________________________________________________________

Love is weird…yeah, I would say so. When I was Alessia there was a calmness that I couldn’t compare with Lotte. Don’t get me wrong I love ma petit hibou, but Alessia was different.

She’s driven and she always had this look in her eyes that only held a certain softness when she was looking at me.

She was there for me when I got my call-up for the French U-20 team just how our coaches had predicted.

Lotte couldn’t make it to our regular weekly movie night in my dorm but encouraged Alessia and I to “not do it because of her”.

We had finished the movie an hour ago and now were on some random episode of Stranger things. Alessia had migrated from leaning her head on my shoulder, as she always did, to laying her head on my lap, my finger gently combing her hair without a care in the world.

It was soothing and then my phone began vibrating in my pocket.

“Allo?, oui c’est elle. Oui…ah Merci, oui merci pour l'opportunité, c’est un honneur pour moi! Oui merci, …alors…. quoi…quoi, merci…au revoir” (hello?, yes this is she, yes...ah thank you, yes thank you for the opportunity, it's an honor for me. Yes thank you...so...yes..yes...thank you.. goodbye)

Alessia had rolled over to look up at me and giggled, “so I only got ‘thank you’ from all that…who was that?”

I couldn’t stop smiling, “I got called up for the French U-20 team! Can you believe that?”

Alessia immediately got up and with a smile grabbed both sides of my face, “That’s amazing and of course I fucking believe that!”

All thoughts I had in that moment disappeared, I mean how could I even think when my whole world was in front of me. Alessia’s laugh broke me from my trance.

“Well, now I got to get called up for England, then we’ll be rivals..isn’t that absolutely wild” one of her thumbs now gently caressing my cheek.

I lean into her caress, “Alessia, what are you thinking about?”

She tilts her head, as if she was observing my face to see how I will react.

“I’m thinking of how proud I am of you, really I am…and um..of…how much I want to kiss you right now”.

Alessia laughs as she feels my cheeks heat up in hands and my eyes widen.

“Well can I?” She asks as she pulls me closer.

With only a nod from me, Alessia brings her soft lips to mine. I had dreamed of doing that for so long that again my mind was empty yet filled with everything.

As she pulled back, her forehead resting against mine she whispered,

“No matter what happens…whatever this becomes, I’ll always be there for you” her fingers threading my hair as she continued to look at me.

“Ma petit chou, that’s your nickname…my little darling…no matter what happens you will always be that” I said quietly as I brought her in for another kiss.

24 August 2018

With another thud to the ground and frustrated groan, I swatted away any hands that attempted to assist me as I got up for probably the fourth time that game, not getting any cards given to the players knocking me down including once from Alessia. She gave me a gentle sorry as she helped me up even though I turned her down initially. I wanted to play against England in the final but it seems we both found ourselves fighting for 3rd place. Alessia and I hadn’t texted since the competition started and maybe only had a phone call here and there. The only time I saw her in person was right there in the tunnel before the start of the game.

We were losing 1-0 and we were desperately trying to equalize, which meant I was pushing more up the field than usual.

I was frustrated…justifiably…so I pushed even harder. I just did not expect to be taken down in the box. I lay face down gasping for any sort of air to return to me after the impact. Groaning also at the sting and sharp soreness near my right knee. The whistle from the referee signaling a penalty for my fall returned me to reality.

“Hey, you alright?” I heard muffled and a gentle touch to my face that I immediately recognized as Alessia. Her tone worried as she grabbed my hand.

“Hey, hey, baby…I’m here ok? I’m here” I felt her hand gently holding mine as I finally was able to breathe slowly.

“Merde, elle saigne, médecin! (Shit, she’s bleeding, medic!)” I heard one of my teammates yell.

As the medics approached to wrap up my knee from the scrape, I felt Alessia’s hand leave mine.

The penalty went in and we equalized. The energy was back but it didn’t end the way we wanted. Penalty shoot outs were never my favorite. Mine went in and Alessia’s didn’t but it didn’t matter what I did because we lost in the end.

I remained sitting on the field feeling disappointed that I couldn’t have done more to at least get 3rd place.

I felt a familiar weight on my shoulder and a gentle hand grab mine.

“Hey..” Alessia said quietly as she heard the sniffle come from me.

“Hey…ma petit chou” I look at her with a sad smile, tears threatening to fall as I leaned my head on hers.

“I’m so proud of you, you know?” she said interlacing her fingers with mine.

I only nod as the tears fall, “go celebrate, I’ll be ok”

Alessia laughed a little as she shook her head, “no, I told you, I’d be there for you…even now…they can celebrate without me”.

Media reported the pictures of Alessia and I on the field as a showing of support between two UNC teammates…Lotte would tease us upon our return and would yell “what a lovely showing between teammates” whenever Alessia and I would hold hands.

______________________________________________________________________________

I was called up to the senior French team in 2019 and was able to play in my first World Cup. Alessia and Lotte watched from afar still participating in our university team while I was away.

After the loss against the US eliminating us from the World Cup, I returned to ma petit chou who was waiting in my apartment with a cozy blanket and warm chocolate chip cookies from McDonald’s all set up for me. I wasn’t one to immediately tear up at a sight but the moment I entered the dimly lit apartment I couldn’t hold back.

Alessia loves deeply is what I came to discover and being close to the person she loved was important to her. It was important for me too. We both agreed that we wanted to keep our relationship to ourselves and not really post about it. We played together and lost together. I was there for her injury and she was there for mine. Which is why is was so hard to leave her.

2020 was filled with uncertainty especially because of COVID. Alessia and I were planning on leaving UNC along with Lotte to pursue a career back in Europe. Alessia went to Man United and Lotte went to Aresenal leaving me to go to Lyon.

I won’t say that we didn’t try the distance but it became too much for us especially with our budding careers in our respecting countries. We stopped the relationship with a promise of keeping in touch whenever we could…we didn’t.

A secret relationship remained a secret to the fans and the general public. We were former university teammates just liking each other's posts and commenting a blue heart every so often. It never went past that. The 2022 Euros came and went…an awkward “congratulations on the Euro win” was sent, read and not replied to. I mean I wouldn’t have… so I don’t blame her since the last message between us was from 2020.

______________________________________________________________

I never handled injuries well…I isolated myself and Alessia was always there to accompany me. Since we separated, I hadn’t had a serious injury until 2023.

I knew I should’ve rested during after starting in every game in the group stages…I should’ve listened to my teammates but I didn’t want a repeat of 2019 with Australia.

Sometimes you just know…as soon as I hit the ground in the latter part of the second half…I knew it was THAT tear. I laid there as the tears fell as the pain set in, desperately trying to find a hand to hold but only finding grass…

I don’t remember being put on the stretcher or anything that was said to me…nothing was familiar to me. They confirmed that it was a tear and I would be heading out back to Lyon to get the surgery and recover there. It didn’t matter really, we ended up losing in penalties…funny how history repeats itself…only difference was Alessia wasn’t there.

______________________________________________________________

I remained in my hotel room, turning away any of my teammates who tried to stay with me…I just wanted to be alone…

I saw the result of the England/Colombia game and went through my phone until I found her number. It went straight to voicemail…

“Hey ma petit chou, congratulations on the win and getting a goal…I-uh…miss you a lot especially now. I don’t know if you saw but its an ACL tear and I’m cooped up in my hotel room…I still remember how you told me how you would always be there for me and-”

I choke back the tears threatening to fall but the pause was telling enough. “I just really need to hear you right now, so give me a call back because I do miss you and I can’t do this without you.”

I end the call, immediately regretting my decision. I close my eyes hoping that the pain medication would kick in and I dont know how long I was out before I heard someone enter my hotel room.

I groan at the source of the noise

“Go away” I wave my hand to whomever entered.

I stop immediately once I hear her small laugh.

“Well, I can’t possibly eat these cookies all on my own now can I?” I open my eyes and see Alessia with a small box of cookies. My face softened and my arms beckoned her to come to me.

She gently held me like she always had and caressed my cheek wiping away the tears that had begun to fall

“Hey…I’m here now” is all she whispered…oh how I missed my little darling.

#engwnt x reader #woso x reader #arsenal women #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine

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skzhua · 1 year

Text

Episode nine.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 5.7k

warnings: Swearing, suggestive, jealous Min Ho, sad for some parts.

summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

a/n: So much is happening in this one... and it's so long...

"A reason, a season, or a lifetime."

Q paused his workout for a moment. Frowning at Min Ho in confusion, he asked him to explain furthermore. As he stopped massaging his face with the face roller, he sighed.

"Every relationship fits into one of those categories. I read it in a magazine."

Q, not caring much, resumed to working out. Meanwhile, you came out of your room and sat next to Min Ho.

"The point is," he continued. "Y/N and I are starting a relationship. And looking at how things were before between us, I believe we got together for a reason."

"You needed to get laid with a chick?"

You slapped Q's arm aggressively. "What a way to talk about me when I am right here!"

"Not for that, no." Min Ho chuckled. "She showed me that there was more than just casual dating, that it could be worth it."

You laughed and he looked at you weirdly. "What?"

"I'm talking about real feelings and you are laughing?"

"No, I believe you are being sincere and it's real sweet. But it does not fit you at all." you still laughed.

His jaw clenched. "It might not have been that worth it asking you to be my girlfriend, after all."

That shut you up real quick. After a small apology, he invited you in his arms to cuddle before placing a soft peck on the top of your head. You squirmed in comfort.

"Do I have to third-wheel?" Q whined.

"Don't be like this, you have Florian." you assured but it didn't seem to do the trick.

"Yeah..."

Min Ho immediately noticed the shift in his voice. "How are things with him?"

"He's going through some stuff, but I'm here for him."

"That's good. I'm sure he's glad to have you around." you smiled warmly at him.

Having complained about third-wheeling barely two minutes ago, to Q's luck, Dae and Kitty came to join in the living room, skipping before he took her in his arms. Telling each other sweet 'good morning's, the remaining three of you grunted in annoyance.

"And now I am fifth-wheeling." Q muttered to himself.

Min Ho gave the couple the side eye. "It's too early to be this cheery."

"I am this cheery." Kitty affirmed as she and Dae went to the kitchen counter to prepare coffee for everyone. "Not only because I have the most perfect boyfriend in the world-"

"Lucky you." you said as you sat down with Min Ho behind you, rubbing your arms.

"Thank you?" he gasped, offended.

Kitty chuckled before continuing. "But it has also come to my attention that I am failing most of my classes. That means that if I don't do amazing on the finals, I will flunk out of school."

"How is this making you cheery?" you asked.

"Well, if I dwell the fact that I was considered super smart at home and here I can barely keep up, I will start sobbing."

You, on the other hand, had never been doing any better. Your aunt was proud of you for integrating the school perfectly, your uncle praised your grades in his class, you had friends, a boyfriend... This was all too good to be true. You started to doubt that it was going to last, especially with finals coming up so soon.

"We still have a week." Dae spoke. "We're going to make study plans and everyone will help you."

Min Ho shook his head. "I'm very busy and Y/N-"

"Everyone." Dae said in a stern tone. "Guys, Kitty and I are finally together. I'm not going to let her fail out of this school now."

"Well, I'm in. I'll help with chem." Q said.

You raised your hand. "I could ask my uncle for extra exercises in history." you suggested to which Kitty thanked you.

"She definitely needs to work on her Korean." Min Ho mumbled.

"What did you just call me?" Kitty asked angrily, immediately taking offense.

"Exactly." he deadpanned at her.

Dae assured her he'll be helping her with the rest. Being top student, he was the perfect tutor for her. Clinging your mugs of coffee together, you started to get ready afterwards. However, Min Ho did not let you go back to your room and grabbed you by the arm to kiss you.

"I'd love doing that, but I need to change."

He pouted but let go of you. "We can't have a moment to us in this dorm."

You could only laugh at him. You simply adored how much of a softy he was to you.

Tutoring Kitty was either easy or hard. It depended on how motivated she was and, most of the time, she was only discouraged.

"You've got 53%" you said sadly as you gave her back the sheet of paper.

Your uncle happily gave you exam practices for Kitty to study, but with this one being the fourth she did already, you were starting to feel like she was a lost cause. Plus, the library was fully packed since everyone was studying.

"Great." she grunted before dropping her head into her arms.

"It's four percent better than last time."

"And that's what's going to help me pass, yes."

She made a good point. You sprawled on your chair and sighed heavily with her. It looked as if it was the two of you who were failing. And Min Ho just had to confirm that when he sat with you with his Korean lesson books to take over Kitty's tutoring.

"Aren't you two adorable." he teased you and you stuck out your tongue at him. "I'm serious, you are cute."

"Ew." Kitty said in disgust.

"Not you. Y/N." he specified. "I believe it's time to work on your Korean now."

Kitty shook her head. "I am on the verge of dropping out myself. Give me five minutes."

He frowned before glancing at you. "I'm assuming history didn't go well."

"Nope." you chuckled. "I'm sure she'll get the hang of it... We just need to study more."

She let out a whine. "Study, study, study... this is all I've been doing today."

"Stop complaining, you asked us to help you." Min Ho said, frustrated.

He convinced her to get into studying Korean and you stayed with them, having nothing else to do. She started to get the hang of the the basics but it was still very bad. By the end of it, she was able to tell what were some verbs and such.

"Are you coming back to the dorm with me?" she asked while taking her bag to head out.

Min Ho held you by the waist as you walked. "Not today. I have prepared something very special for my girlfriend."

You looked away from him in an attempt to hide your blush. "Another surprise?"

"You can't have enough of them. Don't worry, I think you will like it a lot."

"I'll love it for sure if I'm with you."

Kitty groaned. "I think I preferred it when you were cussing each other out."

"Says the one who is too cheery when she's with Dae."

That shut her up and she parted ways with you, leaving Min Ho laughing with pride. You shook your head in disapproval.

"What? It wasn't even mean."

"Nothing. So, what's the surprise?"

He smirked. "You'll see."

You took a stroll around campus, hand in hand, and he eventually left the grounds to lead you somewhere. Just there, his chauffeur was waiting for you. You skeptically hopped in and he drove off. Being driven away when you didn't know the destination was usually a sign to run away. But you trusted Min Ho, maybe more than you should.

It wasn't even twenty minutes after that he pulled over in front of Han River. A typical date in Seoul. Getting off the car, Min Ho took your hand to help you out and you followed the trail while admiring the view.

"This is so cheesy." you laughed.

"Stop that, it's cute."

You snorted. "I'm sure you brought other girls here."

He smiled in shame. "Fair. But I didn't like any of them as much as you."

Your face became red. A couple of steps later, something popped in your mind. You grew tense and he felt it. As he halted his movements, he rubbed your shoulders while asking you what was wrong.

"What happened with Lulu?"

He gulped. "Should it matter?"

"Kind of."

He sighed and resumed to walking with you. "I went out with her the night after you literally saved my ass. We made out, sure, but I haven't talked to her since."

You nodded. "Okay, and was there anyone else?"

He shook his head violently. "I couldn't get you off my mind after I..." he paused and coughed. "Well, it doesn't matter."

You began to connect the dots. "You had a sex dream about me."

He coughed again. "No."

"So Q was right." you giggled. "How was it?"

"I did not have a sex dream about you."

"Awe, Min, don't be shy."

He looked away and you kept on laughing at him. He fastened his pace in silence. You called out for him and tried to catch up to his pace. He refused to look back at you. But once you did reach him, you were left speechless. On a picnic table, he had delicately placed candles and lights as well as some pillows for comfort. The best wasn't even that. It was the food. You spotted kimbap, japchae, tteokboki, kimchi... The amount was overwhelming.

"I'm... wow." you breathed out.

He walked up to you and hugged you from behind. "I thought we could use a night to ourselves."

You smiled widely. "This is perfect, no one has done something like this for me before."

"Expect to get more of this. Shall we?"

You sat down face to face and he helped you with serving yourself, asking what you wanted to taste first. Every single dish was delicious, you couldn't get enough of it. Min Ho watched you eat, satisfied with how the surprise turned out.

"When did you even cook this?" you asked, still having a bite of kimbap in your mouth.

"I used my chauffeur's kitchen and I missed my classes today."

Your face fell. "Min Ho..."

"It was my pleasure, darling."

You grabbed his hand and stroke it with your thumb. "I love it but I don't want you to fall behind in school because of me."

He gave you a reassuring smile. "I'm doing great in all of my classes, don't worry."

After eating, you went on with your evening stroll. Talking about everything and nothing, it eventually got to the point where he discussed about his parents with you. He understood the lifestyle of his mother but it was starting to get to him more nowadays. If there was one person he loved more than anything, it was her. So being apart from her for so long, he suffered. The relationship with his father wasn't as pleasant. He had pretty much cut off ties with him, not approving of his new way of living life after the divorce.

"Do you miss him?"

He thought for an instant. "Sometimes. But I miss the old him, not what he has become."

"I'm sorry."

He huffed. "Don't be. I'm better off without him."

A silence took over and he stopped you to observe the river. He wrapped his arms around you while you did the same around his torso.

"How did you do when they passed?"

The question took you by surprise, although it shouldn't have since you were already on topic. "I was empty inside. I lost a lot of friends who were sticking to me only for the wealth. I fought a lot with my aunt who didn't even plan on having children and she suddenly had this kid coming to live with her. It was..."

He saw you choke up on your words and brought his hands to your face to stop you from talking any more. "Hey. You don't have to tell me."

"You asked."

He chuckled. "Yeah, but it doesn't mean I wanted to make you think about it all over again and break in front of me."

You got up on your tiptoes – him being the giant he is – and you kissed him. While it was sweet and delicate at first, Min Ho took the lead quickly. Holding you tighter, he deepened the kiss, almost leaving you breathless.

"Shouldn't we get back to the dorm? Curfew is soon."

He didn't want to but you were right. You went back to the car and the driver drove you back to campus.

You didn't know whether it was you or him who started it, but both of you were needy. Walking in the dorm, you couldn't keep your hands off each other as you kept on stealing kisses every two seconds.

"Guys, we're busy here." Q deadpanned at the two of you as he pointed to Kitty with her school books.

Getting his coat off, Min Ho proceeded to help you with yours. "So are we."

Kitty groaned. "Well, don't do that here."

He gave her a look. "But you are all over Dae all the time here, yes."

You dragged him into his room before he would say another stupid thing. As soon ad the door closed, his lips were back on yours. He lost no time in helping get your vest off, both of you still in your school uniforms.

"You're so impatient." you said in-between the kisses.

"Maybe."

You found him shirtless seconds later and you stepped back to his bed. Laying you down, he topped you and started to work on your neck, sucking on your skin. He brushed your thigh gently before giving it a squeeze. You let out a gasp. You felt him smile against your skin. You brought up to your lips again and started to feel him up and you touched his abdomen. His efforts in looking his best truly paid off, you couldn't find him any hotter.

"You're so pretty." he rasped out.

"You're the pretty one."

"You're right."

You slapped him slightly and he laughed. "I think I love you."

You immediately froze. He pulled back slightly before stuttering incoherent words. You only blinked, which made Min Ho sweat. Why weren't you saying anything?

"Y/N?"

You pushed him off and placed yourself so you were laying facing one another. Putting your hand on his jaw, you stroke his cheek softly.

"I love you, too."

The first thing you saw was Min Ho's bare back. You could hear him breathe calmly as the rays of sunshine hit his skin perfectly. So... You slept in his room... Nothing too odd. You were his girlfriend, after all. You tried to get out of bed carefully to not waking him up. But it didn't work as he turned around and brought into his arms, stopping your from getting out of bed.

"Good morning." he mumbled.

"I didn't want to wake you."

"Too late." he said, stretching his arm out.

"Get ready, I'll go make you a cup of coffee."

He grinned and gave you a small kiss. "You're just too perfect, aren't you?"

You walked out of his room to let him change and freshen up and were startled when you saw Yuri sit with Kitty and Dae. You slowly went to make coffee, confused.

"Hi, Y/N." Yuri smiled at you.

"What is happening?"

"I came out to my mom, moved out of the penthouse, and here I am! Living with you!"

You perked an eyebrow at her. "You came out?"

"Yeah, it was hard, but I feel so much better."

"Oh my God, that's great! I'm so happy for you."

She smiled even more. "Thank you."

"Yuri started to help me with history. Want to join?" Kitty asked.

In the meantime of your hot beverage being ready, you sat with them and asked questions to Kitty. You were happy to see she was able to answer most of them easily.

"Timeline of the later Three Kingdoms." Yuri read out loud the memo card, laying on her back while her legs were slumped on the couch, in-between Dae and Kitty.

"890 to 936." she answered automatically.

"The first political state?" you asked in your turn.

"Gojoseon." she said in a broken Korean.

"Gojoseon." Dae corrected her and she repeated properly.

"What is happening?"

You hadn't even notice Min Ho coming out of the room and was now leaning on your seat, rubbing your shoulder softly. You put your hand on top of his and he gave you a quick smile before focusing on Yuri again.

"I moved in!" she answered happily, proceeding to sit up properly.

"What? Why?" he looked to all three of them. "Are you a throuple now?"

"No." they all answered.

"I'm gay." Yuri said and Min Ho seemed to be even more lost so she continued. "I came out to my mom, moved out of the penthouse. Scared, excited..."

"Wait." he stopped her. "You've been gay this whole time?"

"It's not a choice."

"I know, I mean..." he began to say but stopped mid-way. "So you and Dae... you were in a fake relationship?" They nodded. "So Kitty was right?"

Kitty smiled proudly. "I told you I know matchmaking."

His body tensed. "You're not mad at Dae? He lied, and lied, and lied..."

You tensed in your turn. Because you lied as well.

"I was mad." Kitty affirmed. "But then I forgave him, and Yuri, and Y/N-"

"Wow." he scoffed.

He retracted his hand from you and took a step back. You felt your heart pound as anxiety crept in, and not the kind you would feel when something good was about to happen. The kind you'd feel when something bad was coming.

"You're as trusting as my dad's third wife."

"Hey." Dae got defensive. "Kitty and I are good. Leave it alone."

"I'm not good."

The tone of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. At that point, he was ignoring your presence.

"You lied to me, too." he continued. "A lot. I wouldn't do that to a friend."

He slowly dared to glance at you and you gulped. You stood up next to him. "Min Ho..."

"Or someone I care about." he said more softly, though you could hear the pain. "I just wouldn't."

He left abruptly, shutting the door of his room harshly. Meanwhile, you felt the tears prick in your eyes. Things were just starting to be good for you, and you had to mess it all up.

"Finals." Yuri exhaled. "Makes everyone crazy."

You gave her a look but she shrugged and went back to asking Kitty questions. Feeling the need to get away from all of this, you went to get changed and left the dorm. A walk seemed to be exactly what you needed.

So why wasn't it doing anything? You felt nothing but emptiness as you walked by other students. You plugged in your earbuds to block out the outside world and spaced out, heading to nowhere precisely. You checked your phone after a while but you got nothing from Min Ho. You couldn't blame him for being mad at you, you were supposed to trust him the most. You trusted him the most. You were submerged with guilt and, as your mind came back to reality, you were standing in front of the administration of the school. You didn't even need to knock as your aunt had already opened the door of her office only from the sight of you in her window.

"Hey, I didn't know you'd stop by." she cheerfully greeted you but her smile dropped once she took in what state you were in. "Oh, dear. Come on in."

She offered you tea and even if you didn't feel like eating or drinking, you let her make a cup for you. She cleaned up her desk a little to make space and sat in front of you, waiting for you to speak.

"Can I stay over tonight?"

Her eyes softened. "Of course, anytime. Now, tell me what happened."

You took a deep breath. "I don't know. Things got complicated, I guess."

She nodded her head slowly. "I see. I won't tell you what to do but know that I'm always here for you if anything. Time will fix everything, I promise."

You huffed with a smile. "That's what they all say."

"Because it's true." she chuckled and then glanced at the clock in her office. "Your classes start soon. I'll make you a good meal for tonight."

Min Ho: I'm getting coffee with Dae. Do you want me to get you something?

You scoffed at the text. Although you were surprised he was the one to reach out first, this was not the text you thought he'd send.

Min Ho: You saw my message, I know it.

Y/N: I won't be at the dorm tonight, so no thanks.

Min Ho: Where are you?

Y/N: I'm fine.

Min Ho: I didn't ask how you were doing, idiot. I asked where you are.

Y/N: Are you still mad at me?

Min Ho: Yes..?

Y/N: Okay, then I'm not at the dorm to leave you space.

Min Ho: It's not because I'm mad that I don't worry about you. Where are you? I'm picking you up.

Y/N: Don't.

Min Ho: Please.

Y/N: It's only going to worsen things. You'll stay mad, it'll be awkward, and then we both won't be able to sleep.

Min Ho: We'll talk, I promise.

Y/N: Fine. I'm at my aunt's.

You got up from bed and went to the front door. Your uncle, still awake, watched you leave in silence.

"Be careful out there." he said before going back to reading his book.

"I will. Thank you for tonight, it was nice."

He gave you a smile and you left. You waited by the porch of your front door and saw a fancy car coming only a couple of minutes later. You went inside where Dae and Min Ho were seated, coffees in hands. Min Ho passed you an ice americano and you hummed as to thank him. The ride was, as you predicted, awkward as hell. Dae was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt in uneasiness and Min Ho was sipping on his drink every five seconds, visibly nervous.

And the walk to the dorm wasn't any better. As soon as you walked in, you announced you were going to bed. Min Ho immediately stopped you and asked Dae for some time alone with you. Finally just the two of you, you sat on the couch and he copied you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he finally broke the silence.

You exhaled loudly. "That morning when Kitty ran away, Dae came to our room to talk with her and said it was fake. But then you opened the door, I was there, he didn't know because he left before he saw me. Then I asked Yuri about it and she begged me to keep it to myself."

He hummed. "Okay. I get it for back then because we both didn't like each other. But what about after?"

You shrugged. "It wasn't for me to tell you. I swear I just wanted to have nothing to do with all of it."

He took your hand in his. That's a good start.

"From now on, don't lie to me like this again."

You nodded and that's all it took for him to bring you into his embrace. You melted at the touch and engulfed your head in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

He hushed you. "It's okay. I might have overreacted."

You laughed in agreement. The rest of the evening went on smoothly. He invited you to stay with him for the night and he pulled his laptop to his bed so you could watch something together. Dae complained a few times about the volume and the giggles you would slip out every now and then. Other than that, you felt at peace. You were just content that things were back to normal, and you fell asleep soon after.

You groaned loudly as Yuri kept on blabbering about the talent show. To help Kitty get ten percent bonus on her exam, she gathered as many people as she could to do a traditional dance. That was the condition Lee put in place to boost the notes. And you were not left out of it.

"We have to help her, Y/N."

You played around with the food in your plate as another sigh left your mouth. "I don't know, Yuri."

"You'll get ten percent more, too."

You shook your head. "I already have excellent grades, I don't need bonuses."

"She's your friend."

"So is she yours, and you're already doing it. She doesn't need both of us."

She rolled her eyes at you. "The more, the better."

You then saw a guy from your English class walk to your table. Byungwon, if you remembered well. He used to go to school with you and Yuri during middle school. Apart from brief 'hi's and nods of acknowledgement, you hadn't talked to him in years.

"Can I sit here?" he smiled at you.

Yuri frowned. "Why?"

"My friends are at practice for the swimming team."

"I thought you were in the team as well." you said.

"Injured. I'm left alone."

Forming your mouth in a 'o' shape, you gestured for him to sit with you. "How have you been?"

"Great, apart from the injury. I haven't talked to you two in so long. I figured we could catch up." he beamed at you.

Yuri chuckled. "Yeah, we did draw apart with time. I figured you were living your new life well, you know? Part of the swimming team, girls all over you, good grades..."

He blushed. "You're making it seem bigger than it is. I could say the same for you two. You have quite grown well." He looked at you. "And you look great."

You felt the heat rush to your face, so you focused on your food instead, clearing your throat in the process. "You too." you mumbled.

Yuri's eyes flickered between him and you, a smirk slowly creeping on her face. She knew you used to like him, and so the opposite. Visibly, old feelings easily came back. Though she would have usually teased you about it, she rooted for your relationship with Min Ho. If anything, you were simply taken aback from Byungwon's sudden reappearance.

"You still like her." she teased the guy who instantly gulped.

"No."

You wanted to punch her just there and then. "Yuri."

She shook her head. "Or maybe not. But just so you know, she's taken now."

"I know." he said. "I simply want to catch up, that's all."

A couple of tables further from yours, Q was poorly trying to calm Min Ho down. The latter was fuming. All he could see was the sweet smile Byungwon was shooting at you and the giggles you let out with pink appearing on your cheeks. He knew you wouldn't do anything close to cheating on him, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to be worried about you leaving him for someone else. Adding the fact the two of you began your whole dynamic with hate, he was slightly worried you still had that kind of feeling towards him.

"Min Ho, they're just talking." Dae said, growing discouraged.

"I'm not jealous, I'm just saying that he doesn't need to be so close to her."

"He's only sitting next to her."

He pointed at you. "Did you see that? He offered her his drink!"

"Yeah..." Q sighed. "Not jealous."

Back to you and Yuri, she abruptly got up announcing practice for the talent show was about to start. She gave you an intense look and you knew what she was doing. It most likely was not time for practice but this was your opportunity to get away from this awkward situation.

"Right, we have to go." you coughed out.

"And I'll help you get ready for your date after." she added and your eyes grew bigger at her.

"Ah." Byungwon said, slightly disappointed. "You and Min Ho are real serious."

"They are." Yuri nodded. "Let's go. See you around!"

She crossed her arm with yours before you went out of the cafeteria. You could do nothing more but follow her lead.

"I swear I thought you were going to make him make a move on me."

She laughed. "I might not think Min Ho is the best guy to date, but I know you love him. Plus, it's not the first time I've seen Byungwon look at you like that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But now, that means you have no choice but to participate in the fan dance with us."

You groaned in defeat. As much as you loved her for saving your ass, you also hated her.

"Hi, baby."

"Hey-"

You were cut short as Min Ho eagerly kissed you, long enough for people around to either giggle at you or make noises of disgust. It wasn't an innocent kiss either, he was going for it.

"I missed you." he said after pulling back but still holding your hand to walk with you to the auditorium.

"You saw me this morning."

"Not in front of swimmer guy."

Your eyes shut closed. "You saw that, the other day."

"Yeah." Min Ho said as a matter-of-factly. "And I did not appreciate him eyeing my girlfriend like she is some meat."

You patted his shoulder. "Awe, is my little pup possessive?"

He glared at you. "I thought we agreed on stopping with this nickname. Makes us sound like we are furries or something."

You shrugged. "I still like it. But thank Yuri, she's the one who saved me from him that day."

He kissed the top of your head. "Glad to know she's on our side. Now, how are you feeling?"

"Ashamed, depressed, and on the verge of crying."

He frowned. "I'm not sure if you are referring to your feelings towards the wait for your grades or the talent show."

"Can't it be both?"

He laughed and rubbed your hand softly with his thumb. "You'll do great, for both of them."

While he was not allowed to, Min Ho insisted profoundly in coming with you backstage. Saying he didn't want to watch the whole thing and only your performance so you could leave together in advance, he was only disappointed when you sent him back to his seat with Dae.

You walked up to Madison who was crouched next to a machine. "Hey, what are you doing?"

She squealed. "Fireworks, for my next performance."

"You perform twice?"

"Yeah, K-pop."

You rolled your eyes and gave her the fans. Of course she had to do a K-pop dance. You finished up to get ready by fixing parts of your hanbok.

"Yuri-ah."

You weren't sure what Principal Lim was doing backstage to run to her daughter, especially since they hadn't talked since Yuri moved in with you.

"I want you to come back home." she continued but Yuri only gave her the eyeroll. "I'll talk to Alex. I'll make sure you can get to know him."

"Alex?" she said in confusion. "Alex, who?"

Principle Lim froze. "Oh, I just assumed that Kitty-"

"Wait, Alex is my brother?"

And here was another drama happening right in front of you. You learned your lesson to not get involved, so you went to the other girls to ignore what was happening. It wasn't even a minute later that you were up to go on stage. You wanted to bury yourself alive from how embarrassed you were. Not because you were ashamed of your culture, but you weren't a dancer. This was, in no way, one of your strengths.

"How could you not tell me?" Yuri spoke as the performance began.

You tried your best to block them out but they weren't so quiet.

"I thought Alex was my brother and that my mom was the one who was pregnant." Kitty explained. "It wasn't until we snuck out of detention that day and went to Lee's house-"

"Wait, you've known since detention?"

You subtly shushed them and went on to your next move. They seemed to get the message and you were happily back to focusing on your dance.

"How could you hide this from me?"

You mentally cursed them out.

"It wasn't my place to-"

"To be honest?

Madison groaned. "Guys, I'm trying to focus."

This might have been one of the few times you were thankful to her. But your friends being themselves, they continued to bicker.

"I wasn't not honest, I just-"

"Lied by omission?" Yuri interrupted her again.

"You lied all semester about being with Dae on purpose, and I got past it, and now we're friends."

"We were friends." Yuri corrected her.

And with Kitty being Kitty, she clumsily stepped on her robes and tripped, knocking off the firework machine. Fire came out and the whole auditorium stood up in panic, Kitty first as the fabric of her hanbok caught on fire. She stepped back, panic across her face as she stared at the flame. You looked from afar, worried about her and unsure if you should put yourself in danger as well to help her.

You got your answer quickly when you saw your boyfriend running to her. He took his jacket off as he help her sit down on the ground, and crouched down while putting the fire out. She squirmed for a bit until there was no more flame. You observed them as he helped her relax and something seemed off to you. You weren't exactly sure what, but you knew it made you feel sick. It wasn't until Dae arrived that Min Ho went to you, hugging you tightly.

"Are you okay? You're not hurt?"

You didn't hug him back and only nodded. "I'm fine."

He placed his hands on your cheeks. "This girl is so clumsy, she could have put all of you in grave danger."

You cleared your throat. "Yeah, luckily, you saved her."

You pushed his hands away and walked further from the stage. He caught up with your pace and took your hand.

"Hey, are you sure you're good?"

You didn't know what to say. You only stared at him in silence, feeling the lump in your throat growing bigger and bigger.

#xo kitty #xo kitty fanfic #xo kitty x reader #xo kitty minho #xo kitty minho x reader #xo kitty min ho #xo kitty min ho x reader #min ho x reader #sang heon lee #sang heon lee x reader

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crazyoffher · 11 months

Text

WATCHTOWER. - 2

jenna ortega x fem!reader

summary: the same late-night visitor meets with you once again, this time with a goal in mind.

warnings: unedited. somewhat long, which i'm very sorry for i just love attention-to-detail sometimes.

word count: 2600+

part one part three

Scandal was playing on the TV, but you weren’t paying attention to what was happening — not that it mattered because you replayed the show so much you could name an episode's events off the top of your head. It was a rather chilly Thursday night for springtime, and you lay on the couch all sprawled around with a massive headache and a runny nose.

You had allergies, and they acted up harsher than usual, causing you to take the entire week off of work. You wanted to stay around in case Jenna came in that week, but you felt like fainting the first Monday, and you had been told to go home by your manager, Derek.

You were mindlessly scrolling through your phone, looking through Jenna’s entire Instagram your feed, when you were interrupted by a caller screen. It was your regular closing buddy, Jack, calling.

“I told you, the cleaning supplies are stocked under the boxes on the shelf next to the cooler.” You sighed, assuming that he was calling because he couldn’t remember the location of where you put the items.

“No, bro, it’s not that.” He practically screamed into the phone, erupting a groan out of you. “Keep your voice low; I have a massive fucking headache.”

“Well, I'm sorry that I can’t contain my emotions after just dealing with Jenna Ortega, who was looking for you.” That got you to sit upright. You have to be fucking kidding me.

You sighed heavily. “You can’t be serious! Ugh.”

“What? You were expecting her? God, I hate when you keep exciting secrets from me (Y/N), like when you literally served Zendaya and I had to sit and gawk at you when you were telling me you and her had a conversation!”

Rubbing your eyeballs, you put the phone on speaker as you pulled yourself up, turning to clean up the mess of tissues and plates that had accumulated over the past two days. “What did you say to her?”

“I told her that you work Monday, Thursday, and Saturday every week, but that you’d be gone the rest of the week because you were sick. When the fuck did you meet her?” You loaded the tissues (and empty ice-cream pint) into the trash and set the plates into the sink, saying, “Two weeks ago, when you decided to do the easiest job on Earth and leave me to do all of the cleanup work, you assface.”

“Man, you better be good by Monday because she looked pretty down when I told her you weren’t here.” You sighed at that; it only made your hatred for your pollen allergy worsen. “And she told me she’d be back on Monday if she wasn’t too busy that day.”

“I’ll take this as a sign to actually start taking my antibiotics.” You filled a cup with water, grabbing a Tylenol pill for your headache. “Why haven’t you been taking them in the first place?”

“So I’d have an excuse to take more than four days off. You just have to hate working at a Michelin star that celebrities love to raid sometimes.” You downed the pill, or more so, tried to, as it came back up, making you cough.

“Yeah, well, you tell that to Marissa, who’s been covering your days. She looks like she’s on the edge of a breakdown constantly.”

You attempted to swallow the pill again, this time successfully, as you downed the entire glass of water before placing it in the sink, joining the dirty plates. “Well, she’d be more accustomed to it if she didn’t decide to work only once a week and constantly coax me for a share of my tips. Now go back to cleaning up.”

Leaning against the counter of your kitchen, you hung up the phone, saying your goodbyes to Jack. Couldn't she have come around next week?

On Monday, you returned. In your nice suitwear, you made sure to groom yourself extra well in the morning in case Jenna did make her return to you that day, and she did…not.

To say you were disappointed was an understatement; you even stayed out five minutes past twelve to see if she’d walk in, but to no avail. Closing the doors to the restaurant with Jack, you took each step to your car with a form of anger.

“Are you alr-”

“You said she was going to come today!” You huffed. He shrugged, choosing the right words to reply to you; otherwise, you’d go insane.

“If she wasn’t too busy, she said. She probably just had an overwhelming day.” He assured you, but you weren’t necessarily in a positive mood. You mimicked him, putting your hands on your face and rubbing your eyes.

“Or she just didn’t want to see me. She probably saw that I wasn’t there and was like, “Oh, well, fuck that girl then.” Ugh, I hate sickness.” Sneezing right after your sentence, Jack shuffled away from you slightly before climbing into your passenger seat when you unlocked your car.

You had promised to give him a ride because his car’s engine sounded off and he didn’t want to take it to work. “I call the music!”

“It's my car, asshole.” You jumped into the driver's seat without fighting Jack for the Bluetooth, as he had already been connected. “All I’m saying is, you shouldn’t worry. Celebrities, especially rising ones like her, are always busier than we are. Plus, you’re not all that special; I know I wouldn’t willingly go to a restaurant to see you at midnight when I’m a second away from passing out from tiredness.”

You shoved him, one hand on the wheel, as you rolled out of the parking lot and onto the immediate freeway. “And you’re so amazing?”

“I’m perfect, thank you very much.”

It took you about thirty minutes to drop off Jack at his apartment, seeing that it was in a different town, and he made you stop at a gas station for a bag of Munchies. As soon as you fell onto your bed, you were out like a light.

When Thursday came around, you weren’t so optimistic about Jenna showing up. Actually, you debated calling out just because you didn’t feel like working that day, but you knew that your request would probably get declined because it was last-minute and it wasn’t for an emergency, so you got ready.

To your surprise, the day was calm. There were only about two well-known celebrities, and they were enthusiastically nice to you and tipped generously, leaving Jack to complain about your tips for the day, considering that he had almost half less and had a drink thrown on him by a TikTok influencer.

“Why do you always get the nicer tables with big tips while I get stuck with cows who try using their “influence” to get out of paying for their seven-fifty ($750) dollar meal?” He huffed, pretending to be busy because he was currently dealing with — actually, not even a D-lister, just somebody who was in the background of a Marvel movie in 2015.

Meanwhile, you were on your thirty minute break, munching on a burrito you had bought before walking into work that morning. “Because I’m nice and charismatic, even to those that throw their food on my clothes. You, on the other hand, have no charisma at all, and you purposefully set a bitchy tone whenever someone’s mean to you. Nobody’s tipping a man who looks to be on the verge of throwing them onto the highway.”

“Well-”

“Carlile!” Derek called out Jack’s name — or technically, last name, “Back to work, there’s a girl that came in, I’m thinking B-list but on her way to the A-list.”

“I’m dealing with some background extra right now!” He called out, buttoning up his vest he had unbuttoned earlier to breathe, and Derek came into the back where you guys were. “They wanted to leave, so Harvey gave them their check and took your tip from them while he was at it, so go and serve the girl!”

Derek left, and Jack huffed. “God, I hate that fucker. I’m getting that tip back.” And with that, he disappeared as well, anger evident in his step. You just laughed at him, twenty minutes left on your break as you laid back on the chair, tearing up the bulky burrito.

Not even five minutes later, Jack came rushing in, sweat beads on his forehead as he had a large smile on his face. “Guess who’s here.”

“Mmm, by the way you’re smiling, I’d say Spencer Charnas.”

“No, dumbass! Jenna’s here.” You coughed, choking up the burrito chunk you tried to swallow. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Getting up, you viewed yourself in the mirror. Your hair was messed up, tie in disarray, and your shirt sleeves slightly wrinkled from having them rolled up. You were not looking sharp.

“Yes, I told her that I’d switch her table over to you after getting her the drinks she and her — might I say, massive bodyguards, ordered. So go!”

He ushered you out of the backroom, hands on your tie fixing it into place and undoing your sleeves, fixing them down to your wrist. “I thought she was gonna come after we closed, like how she did before.”

“I guess she couldn’t wait to see you, buddy. Now you go and get your first girlfriend, yeah?” He patted your back, and you slapped him on the arm before heading into the dining section. Luckily, she was sat at the edge of a window where there was an empty walkway to her table, avoiding you of any interruptions by surrounding customers.

“What would you like to get started with?” You adjusted your vest, not making eye contact with Jenna just yet. Any observant person could tell you were nervous. “Well, hello to you too.”

You looked up, meeting her eyes and smiling. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there last Thursday, got a little sick and thought it was best to not infect everyone, especially you.”

“It’s fine. Oh, and here.” She reached into the bag sat next to her, pulling out the book before handing it over to you, urging you to take it due to the weight of it. “Thank you. I didn’t expect you to finish so early, you said you’re busy constantly, after all.”

“I read it on the days I wasn’t all too busy, mostly on the way to meetings and in my trailer on set.” Jenna shrugged it off, adding, “And you were right, it’s a really good book.”

“Well, if you ever need any more book suggestions, I’m here. You want to get something to eat, or do you want me to come back in a bit?”

“Mmm, give me like five minutes, yeah?” She flashed you a smile that you dumbly nodded at, turning on your heel and heading into the kitchen, meeting Jack halfway there and you practically jumped on him.

“Someone’s giddy.”

“Oh, shut up. She’s making me nervous, Jack, she keeps eye contact — do you know what it’s like to hold eye contact with a pretty girl?”

“I’m assuming it’s nervewracking.”

“Oh right, I forgot. You can’t talk to girls.” You put his hand on his shoulder, sending him a fake sympathetic smile that he glared at.

“So, when are you asking her out?” Jack grabbed a couple plates, presumably for the table he was serving and you just laughed, causing him to send you a look.

You stopped upon seeing his confused glare. “Oh, you’re not joking. She doesn’t like me, I think I’d know if a girl likes me.”

“But, you wouldn’t. You’ve never had a girlfriend in your life, despite your many talking stages, all of which were online. You’re not experienced in body language, bud. Go out there and take her order, and see how it goes from there.” Leaving you standing in the busy kitchen, you thought about it.

Taking advice from Jack wasn’t the best idea, though. He dated a catfish for five months, for fuck's sake.

Walking back into the main room, you walked over to the shelf and put the bulky navy-colored book back in it’s former place, shifting some books to slot it in. Eyeing Jenna’s table, you saw how she sat there, hands clasped together, talking to her bodyguards.

“You ready now?” You walked up to the table, hands together behind your back, and gave her a small smile.

“Yeah, I’ll have,” Jenna re-opened the menu, pinpointing her option as “Lobster ravioli with Mascovy duck breast, whatever that is.” She laughed slightly, a smile still etched on your face, and said, “And…a date with you.” She spoke lowly, as if she were purposefully lowering her voice so you couldn’t hear her.

“And a what? Sorry.” You apologized, leaning in slightly closer to hear. “A…chance to hang out with you, if you’re up for that. Other people, like friends, can be there too, of course.”

Your mouth gaped open, and the longer you took to answer, the more anxious Jenna became.

"Definitely, yeah, sure.” You managed to get out, nodding your head extensively, and Jenna’s anxiousness faded.

You got her bodyguard's order as well, practically running to the kitchen to give your paper to a chef before scanning for Jack and watching him eat a lobster that one of the cooks seemed to have prepared for his break time. “Did you ask her out?”

“No, but she asked me to hang out with her.” To your words, Jack shot one hand up and mumbled something that you couldn’t recognize, lobster in his mouth.

“She practically wants you.” He repeated, this time more recognizable. “Yeah, yeah.” You waved him off, pacing around with your hands glued together, thinking.

“No, think about it.” Jack set his plate down, swallowing the last bits of his lobster. “She’s busy, right? She’s got like five thousand movies coming out this year and next year, which means that she’d be making time through her busy schedule to be with you! She likes you a lot.”

You stopped, your hands transferring over to your hips. You eyed him, skeptical at first, before sighing. “You think so?”

Jack nodded. “Definitely, go get her tiger.” He pushed you away, hearing the sound of your name being called along with four plates being set off to the side.

You took the plates, setting them on a tray before balancing it on your hand, suddenly a lot more paranoid about dropping them than you’ve ever been. “Here you go.”

Bringing the tray into both your hands, you set the plates aside one by one before tucking it under your arm. “If you guys need anything else, just call me over.”

“Well,” Jenna’s voice stopped you from walking away, “In order for me to see you again, I’d need your number.”

“Right!” You said rather enthusiastically, taking her phone that she held out and typing your number in, sending her one last smile before retreating back into the kitchen.

Sadly, that was the last time you saw her that day because Harvey decided to steal your table, as he did to Jack earlier, to try and capture your tip.

“(Y/N).” Derek called out for you, walking into the room to catch you wiping up tables. “That girl you served earlier, the one that Harvey stole, told me to give your tip to you. She definitely caught on to him.” He laughed, handing you a stack of money before waving goodbye.

You gawked at the amount, five-hundred dollars as a tip was probably the biggest you ever got, and it was from a girl who, besides you, took an interest in you that she was sure to soon act on.

☟ ☟ ☟

i feel like part one was written remotely better than this part, but regardless, i hope you enjoy this :)

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #wednesday addams #bodyguard #celebrity #actress #jenna marie ortega #celebrity x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #restaurant au #wattpad #fanfiction #lesbian

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scarletttries · 1 year

Text

Romeo Take Me Somewhere We Can Be Alone (Roman Roy Succession Request)

Part Two Available Now!

Pairing: Roman Roy (Succession) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Requests: "Roman x Mattson!reader? Forbidden/secret relationship?" AND "Perhaps some smut for Roman Roy? Maybe Roman being on the more submissive side? Thank you!"

Warnings: Smut, spoilers for the new season.

Word Count: 2.7k

Author's Note: Oh Roman, I'm going to pretend I haven't seen the latest episode so I can continue fancying you without having to think critically about this piece of media 🙃 Thank you to the ABSOLUTE genius that suggested a Mattson! reader, forbidden romance vibe, I loved the request and enjoyed writing this so much, I've gone full Romeo & Juliet! (More like Rome-eo, hahaha I felt like a genius for this). Also this is my first Roman smut so it was a bit of a challenge to try and keep it in the same tone i've written Roman in so far, but I hope you enjoy! As always keep the requests coming :D

Romey-o take me somewhere we can be alone

"Have you had enough of this little ass-kiss fucky fest yet?" You watched the little bubble pop up on your phone and looked across the party in reflex, scanning the crowd until you saw his smug little smile directed your way. You unlocked your phone to reply, scrolling up to glimpse the hundreds of messages between the two of you since you'd met that day at the woodlands company retreat three weeks ago.

***

"Problems working with your older brother? I can relate." You stepped out into the night air to find Roman hunched over the railing of the small balcony, hands threading through his hair so firmly he threatened to pull it out in clumps. His shoulders grew a little less tense as your voice washed over him, hands falling to the edge of ledge as he gestured for you to join him.

"So you're the younger Mattson? You could have fooled me, on account of you not being a massive dick." He laughed at the words but it came out hollow, watching his breath form a white wisp in front of his face in the cold night air.

"Thanks, I try my best to be an actual human being. I hear out of all the Roys you're the most favourable to be around too."

He turned his head sharply to really look at you, the sincerity in your tone and the measured kindness of your words catching his attention.

"Oh yeah?" He probed, hoping another almost compliment would fall from your lips before he did something to ruin this moment. Truth was he'd spend half the weekend watching the way you floated through the conference, poised, humble, soft; the antithesis of your brother Lucas. And so he'd avoided you, sure that any moment spent in your presence would only tarnish the shining light you carried so effortlessly.

"I like to think I've got good instincts for people, and I think there's something about you that's different from the rest of your family. And I mean that in a good way." You were thoughtful as you spoke, treading lightly around the slick man in front of you, sure that one wrong move would have him sprinting back inside, spitting venom in his words as he went.

"That's actually pretty nice to hear these days." Roman replied after a pause, now standing squarely to face you, searching your eyes for any hint of deception and mockery and instead finding a tranquility that washed over him in waves as you returned a smile he hadn't realised he was sharing.

"I'm really sorry about your father by the way. And I'm even more sorry that you have to be here right now." You grimaced at your brother's insistence that this weekend go ahead as planned, every ounce of humanity seeming to leave him the moment his bank account saw a certain amount of zeros. Roman nodded at your words, the taste of condolences still unfamiliar and bitter in his mouth, cursing his father for ruining yet another interaction for him, even from beyond the grave. You read his silence for the pain that it was and set your hand gently on top of his where it rested on the railing.

"Well I should go back inside before any of our siblings accuse us of fraternising with the enemy, but it was nice to meet you. I really mean that."

Panic rose up in the back of Roman's throat as you turned to move away, not yet ready for this moment to end, feeling better than he had in weeks. He ignored the voice crying out inside him to stay strong, to isolate himself, to trust no one, and instead caught your rising hand with his.

"Maybe we could fraternise just a little longer.

***

And so you and Roman had spent an evening sharing in the perils of being a younger sibling in your strange corporate worlds, swapping numbers and an unspoken agreement to keep this from your families as you departed the next day, Roman touching the spot on his cheek you had blessed with a gentle kiss when he snuck into your treehouse to say a real goodbye. And so followed weeks of secret texts and furtive phone calls, pouring out your souls until finally you were back in the same room, parted in a hotel lobby by a sea of political donors and movers and shakers, but feeling only one pair of eyes on you.

"I thought you'd never ask." You sent back in response, locking eyes with him once again and tipping your head toward an emergency exit you had checked led to a service elevator. From opposite sides of the room you each slipped through the crowd, trying your best to be unseen, aware that any of these prying eyes could collapse what you had delicately built with a single passing comment. As you reached the door you did a final scan to ensure there were no Waystar or GoJo members nearby who could catch a glimpse of this subtle rendezvous, before backing through the door yourself.

Roman stood waiting between the open elevator doors, looking almost bashful as you dashed towards him, vanishing into the small metal room as he let the door slide shut behind him.

"Thanks for holding it." You couldn't help the anticipation loaded in your tone, facing Roman and finding him stood barely an inch away from your blushing face.

"I had a feeling we were going to the same floor." He breathed out, eyes wide and hands shaking as they rose to brush either side of your face, the adoration clear in the gentle way his thumbs stroked your cheeks.

Before either of you could think your way out of something good, you leant forward, closing the gap between your lips and sending a whirlwind of warmth and glitter spinning through your bodies, the reunion more than worth the wait. His head bobbed forward to return the gesture, body following the movement until he was pressed entirely against you. It wasn't rough, or frantic, or urgent. It was like deep down you knew you'd be doing this forever, so you had all the time in the world to sweetly caress the nape of his neck, parting his lips for a content sigh that only let you taste more of him.

By the time the lift doors opened on your floor Roman could hardly remember where he began and you ended, unsure how he ever coped being half way across the planet from you, needing to keep you as close as he could for every second you could steal tonight. You could feel it too, the desperate pull of your heart towards him, the air of secrecy that only made you want him more, this forbidden fruit the sweetest you would ever taste.

You could feel his cheeks brush against yours as he fought back a smile at finally having you in his arms, and the physical confirmation you had been feeling this overwhelming chemistry too. He would have berated anyone else for believing in love at first sight, but as you rested your forehead softly against his, feeling the joy emanating between you, he didn't think this could be anything else. When you pushed the jacket free of his shoulders, helping him shrug away the fabric until it crumpled on the floor, he had to stop himself from pulling away. Not because he didn't want this with you. It was really the opposite; he couldn't remember ever feeling this way, ever wanting someone to be so close to him, to feel every part of him, and now he wanted that more than anything with you. But he was scared of being vulnerable, and insecure in his inexperience, completely unsure what real intimacy could even look like.

As you worked through the buttons on his shirt, you could see the gears whirring in his head, the unmistakable fear and excitement of a man that's seen a hard-drive's worth of porn but never felt the touch of a person that genuinely cares about them.

"We can stop?" You offered, pulling your hands away from his shirt, only for him to vigorously shake his head and rip it off himself, a stray button clattering across the floor, disrupting the heavy silence.

"I want to." He insisted, his eyes full of desperate desire as you brought your hands to his now bare chest, his heart hammering in anticipation inside. Unsure of what to do next, Roman firmly grabbed at your ass, voice wavering as he tried to take control, feeling like that should be his role,

"Do you like that, you fucking slut?" Both of your faces seemed to contort in discomfort as the words tumbled out of his mouth, his hand quickly releasing and his eyes clenching shut in embarrassment.

"Sorry Rome, I don't even think you like that?" You questioned softly, bringing your fingertips to sweep delicately over the creases in his forehead, his brow slowly unfurrowing as he blinked his eyes open to see you again.

"Fuck, sorry, I was trying to, you know, talk dirty, be sexy." He waved his hands in a gesture of uncertainty as he spoke, surprised you weren't laughing at him or taking the opportunity to run for the door.

"You know talking doesn't have to be degrading to be sexy?" You replied, the calm, confident smile on your face matched by the alluring look in your eye leaving Roman feeling like a deer in headlights, but praying the car will crash right into him.

"Oh yeah?" He gulped, eyes wide as you nodded, pushing him gently so he could step backwards towards the end of the bed. He let himself drift in your current as your touch laid him backwards, every wave of contact soothing his nerves.

"Can I show you?" You breathed in his ear, settling your thighs either side of his legs, feeling all the more powerful for being fully dressed as his bare chest heaved beneath you.

"Please." He begged softly, letting his eyes flutter shut as your lips found his again, fingers tracing a path down his stomach until they reached his belt.

"I'm so glad I got to see you tonight." You sighed against his lips as you began to undo the buckle, feeling his hips twitch, reacting to even the slightest touch. His head leant forward, trying to chase your lips as you spoke, needy for the taste of your kiss as you released the zip and buttons in your way.

"Me too." He eventually sighed out as your lips moved out of his reach, mapping a course across his cheek until you reached the edge of his jaw, applying a little more pressure until you heard the low rumble of moan escape his lips.

"I like hearing you enjoy yourself." You purred, confidence building as he relaxed against your touch, submitting to your control, putty in your hands. Marking a sweet constellation of kisses over his neck you slowly slipped your hand inside his boxers, running one finger over the length of him and feeling him buck up to meet your touch. Roman had never felt both so excited and so relaxed at the same time, never this comfortable with someone exploring his body before, but feeling like he wanted to give every inch over to your control, sure your loving touch could put all the broken pieces of him back together.

You wrapped your hand around his hard length, pumping over him a few times to gage his reaction. His eyebrows scrunched down towards his nose, lips parting as a moan seemed to reverberate through his whole body.

"Does that feel good?" Your tone was sweet, if not a little teasing, sucking on a spot on his throat that seemed to leave him barely able to spit out an 'uh-uh' in response.

"Good, I want to make you feel good, Roman. Will you let me make you feel good?" You praised, bobbing your head down to his chest and picking up the pace of your rubbing hand. Ability to think and speak quickly surrendered, Roman just nodded, for once unable to think of a quippy comeback and just enjoying someone else taking control and being with him so intimately. He'd touched himself like this hundreds of times, thinking cruel, perverse little thoughts the whole time until he was left sitting in a puddle of his own self-contempt. But with you it felt like something new entirely, something positive, and warm, and with each soft praise and gentle kiss that poured from your lips and landed squarely on his chest he could feel his heart lifting, thinking maybe there's a reason he'll only ever thought of it as 'fucking' and not 'making love'.

Your lips drifted down to his chest, gingerly placing a kiss on one nipple and smiling at the way he squirmed under you, eyes now staring down at you in full adoration like you were the most wondrous miracle he could have dreamt of. You could feel his cock starting to twitch in your hand, cooing over him again, sure this wouldn't be the last time the two of you spend a night hiding in the sheets together.

"You're doing so well, Roman. Good boy."

"You feel - so - good." He panted out, the praise bringing him close to the edge before he could really think enough to stop it. Ignoring your own desire stirring up inside your stomach, you gripped your hand on him a little firmer, leaving the other to trace faint circles over his chest, the lingering damp of your kisses only making him more sensitive. Crashing your lips back against his you swallowed his moan before breathing out,

"Cum for me, Rome, please." His lips pressed hard against yours as his hips started to shake, unable to hold back for a second longer and spilling hot white ropes across his stomach, almost whimpering at his sensitive release, overstimulated but still whining the second you released your grip.

His hands reached up to capture your face, somehow trying to portray a lifetime's worth of gratitude and affection in a single overwhelming kiss, before finally releasing you to breathe. As you rose up onto your knees, surveying the smiling fool of a man lying beneath you, you couldn't help but laugh at the state of both of your suit trousers, marred with streaks of sticky white.

"We might need to hide up here for a while until we get cleaned up and dried off, or this might be hard to explain."

"You don't think we could say two seperate waiters happen to get lucky?" Roman rebuffed, pulling a disgusted face as he wiped a finger over the fluid pooling on his stomach.

"Or one waiter got very lucky?" You suggested with a smile, Roman using every ounce of remaining strength to sit up until his lips could find their way to yours.

"No-one's that lucky, so I guess we better stay hidden. I reckon there's a lot more stuff you could show me anyway." Roman's eyes drifted down your body eagerly, wondering exactly what else he'd been missing by never trying it with the right person.

"You don't think the party will miss us?" You teased, pretending to bat away his eager hands.

"What party?" He scoffed, letting you capture him by the wrists and pulling you back to lie with him, falling so you pinned his wrists either side of him, a position he was more than happy to end up in.

"What about our families?" You couldn't help the worried tinge in your voice as you remembered the seemingly insurmountable barrier that stood between yours and Roman's lives. With unusual sincerity he gazed up into your eyes and said softly,

"Fuck 'em, you're my family now."

#writing #fanfiction #one shot #requests #roman roy angst #roman roy fluff #roman roy imagine #roman roy x reader #roman roy #succession imagine #succession hbo #succession #succession headcanons #succession requests #succession roman #roman succession #reader insert #gender neutral fanfic #gn!reader

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aromanticbuck · 2 months

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Tommy was nowhere to be found when Buck was in the gym though. That was 100% about Eddie. As was the Christopher thing because he didn't want to be replaced in Eddie and Christophers lives by anyone, for any length of time. The only time I really felt him trying to get Tommy's attention was their first scene together. But that was purposeful by the writers. They wanted to have it both ways and needed Buck to want both of their attention but have no idea why.

I've sat here for almost a full day wondering how to respond to this, and honestly, I very nearly deleted it without responding because... I barely go here. I just shifted over to 911 as my main fandom. I was a One Chicago blog a little over a week ago and yeah, one well timed rewatch might put me back on that train.

I just came over here because I watched the show, enjoyed it, and wanted to have fun with other fans. My posts are my opinion and my observations, and are obviously not meant to speak for all of canon or even any faction of the fandom besides myself (and maybe Kit, but our opinions vary sometimes too, and we live together). I just pointed out what I noticed, and the trends that I picked up on, and how I thought they were intending to establish Buck wanting Tommy's attention - which, in my opinion, they did really well.

So, I'm just gonna put a screenshot of the post this is referring to right here:

Here's the thing. If you watch every single episode of the show looking for Buddie moments whenever Buck or Eddie is on screen (and I saw a lot of that after last night's episode to the point that I'm getting exhausted and annoyed), then that's all you're going to see, even if that's not what they're trying to show us.

It's been especially bad since 7x04 and the BuckTommy kiss. Everyone is looking at his canon queerness through a Buddie lens and ignoring everything else around it. They're making his coming out to Maddie about Buddie, and they're making his attraction to Tommy about Buddie, they're making episodes we haven't even seen about Buddie.

In reality, none of that is about Buddie or confirming future Buddie or anything of the sort. He and Maddie mentioned Eddie in that scene because the conversation started when he said he felt like he was lying to Eddie and he didn't like it. Yes, Eddie and Tommy are similar, and I understand joking about Buck having A Type, but that doesn't make his attraction to Tommy any less genuine. And we don't know anything about 7x06 yet, but everyone is talking about Buddie getting drunk and sleeping together, or Tommy seeing them interact - as he's already seen because the three of them have had scenes together and he's canonically spent time with Chris - and immediately stepping back from the relationship because there might be something there.

Buck is going to his sister's wedding with Tommy. Buck told Maddie and Eddie about Tommy. Buck wants to dance at the wedding with Tommy. He wants to try for something with Tommy. Eddie encouraged him to go call Tommy and work things out. Buck is going to be out to everyone at the Madney wedding because he wants to be there with Tommy as his date.

I don't know. It's just frustrating to see this really good queer relationship tossed to the side because it's not the Popular Ship. Just because you don't ship it or you aren't looking at it directly, it doesn't mean it's not still there.

#answered #anon #anonymouse #alex says things #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #tommy kinard #kinkley #bucktommy #911 #911 spoilers #maddie buckley #buckley fam #I still want buddie endgame #but i forgot how exhausting big ship fandoms can be

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cattimeswithjellie · 1 year

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There seems to be a pervasive opinion that Scar is winning the MCYT Tumblr Sexyman contest due to a misunderstanding of what Tumblr Sexymen are, and that in fact Scar's fans believe he's just a regular sexyman. This is in fact not true at all. Scar's pathetic squishy wet-cat-standing-in-a-puddle-even-though-the-door-is-open credentials have long since been established in the fandom. (This contains spoilers for most things Scar has been in lately.)

In Hermitcraft Season 9, Scar won Statistics Roulette last week on "number of deaths" despite the fact that his statistics were reset only three or four months ago. Pathetic squish of a big-hatted man died more times in four months than Impulse or Grian did in ten. And because of the reset, it doesn't even count the twenty or so times Grian and Mumbo murdered him for fun on the very first day of the server!

In Double Life, Grian literally snagged him with a fishing pole and dragged him home with him in an ultimately futile effort to keep him from dying. Scar learned that Grian was cheating on him and passive-aggressively snarked about it to other people for two episodes, then baked cookies for Grian's secret soulmate.

In 100 Hours Hardcore, Grian and Joel basically formed a protection squad to keep Scar alive, to the point of coating the land under his base with beds to fall on and raiding a mansion for totems of undying. They still failed because Scar put apples in his off-hand instead of a totem and didn't notice his elytra was ready to break.

In Season 8, Scar was killed when a llama spat on him. His hat was unimaginably tiny, so tiny that he was forced to commission a huge model hat to wear on top of the tiny hat.

In Last Life, Scar got scammed out of one life, blackmailed out of two more lives, then lost another one by falling into a trap he'd been warned of two minutes earlier, even while people were yelling at him not to fall in the trap. He had no diamond armor so he wore a diamond-colored skin but painted abs on it as well so he would look more buff.

In Third Life, Scar attempted to get a monopoly on dark oak without checking to make sure there wasn't an entire dark oak forest on the other side of the server. He tried to get a monopoly on sand by putting his home in the middle of a large desert and yelling at people who came to get sand. He was the first player to die, blown up in a prank gone wrong.

In Season 7, Scar wouldn't even shave or put on pants until he wanted to be elected mayor. It may actually have been a fake beard. He had to terraform the entire shopping district twice when he lost the Turf War because the other side didn't actually like mycelium, they just liked causing problems for Scar.

In conclusion, yes Scar runs around without a shirt and has abs so ferocious that they show through his "diamond" armor, but he is not a Sexy Man. He is a sexyman, a real Onceler through and through, and he deserves his sweep. Vote Scar!

#goodtimeswithscar #mcytblr sexyman poll #mcytblrsexymen #hermitcraft #traffic series

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sevcasejay1chicago · 7 months

Text

The War Within- Jay Halstead, Kelly Severide, and Matt Casey

Summary: You have epilepsy and the stress from the week causes an episode.

Warnings: POSSIBLE SPOILERS, epilepsy, vomiting

————————

One of the first things that you discussed with the guys when you began dating a year ago was that you have epilepsy. You, Matt Casey, Kelly Severide, and Jay Halstead had been friends for years before dating, but you had managed to keep away from any and all situations that caused your symptoms to flare. It was easier to make those excuses with all of your friends around, but some situations were harder to avoid, without causing suspicion, while dating. Of course, the boys understood and all kept an eye on you. Throughout the beginning of your relationship, you had two longer episodes, but both were mild and did not require medical attention. Luckily, since they were mild and all three of your boys were there, you were able to get comfortable at home with your guys surrounding you and keeping watch for the rest of the night. After many small scares and many nights spent together just to be in each other’s company, mostly to keep the boys from stressing out over you, you all moved in together 2 months ago.

You had been extremely stressed out this past week. As a nurse in the Chicago Med ED, you are pretty use to emergency situation and work related stress, but this week of unusual flesh eating bacteria had you in a bundle of nerves. You knew that a seizure would come eventually, and have been pleasantly surprised by the fact that one hadn’t happened yet, but you tried not to focus on the what ifs while you and the boys had your date night.

Because of the week everyone had and to make sure you were in a comfortable environment incase something did happen, you all opted on a game night. So, you sat on one couch with Jay at your side, while Matt and Kelly took their spots on the opposite couch. You tried to fight Jay when he talked about arranging your couches to face each other with the coffee table in the middle and the tv on the wall over the fireplace, which was at the end of each couch, but it was best for nights like these or just cuddling with two on each couch while watching tv.

The first thing you noticed was that your heart was fluttering. You figured it was the excitement of [your favorite game], so you just brushed it off. However, you couldn’t ignore your symptoms anymore when Jay wrapped an arm around you, commenting on how you were sweating and shaking. You took hold of Jay’s thigh, attempting to ground yourself as you gave in to how anxious you felt now that their full attention was turned to you.

“P-please. I-I can’t.” You whimpered out, anxiety creeping into your voice as your body took over and you were seconds away from losing full control.

Matt pushed the table out of the way as Kelly helped Jay lower you to the floor and push the couch back. Matt raced into the kitchen for a bucket, your rescue inhaler, your rescue nasal spray and some water, knowing that you often get sick after bad seizures, and this one was already progressing more quickly than usual. Thinking on his feet, Matt quickly grabbed a fresh hand towel before sprinting back into the living room.

Kelly was laid out a little ways away, keeping eye contact as your body started to shake, but you were still somewhat coherent. He was whispering words of comfort as Jay kept his hands lightly on the shoulder and hip that was off the floor, keeping you on your side. Matt placed all the items he brought onto the floor a few feet away from your head as he sat and waiting for your full on seizure.

“Baby. I know your scared, but you gotta let go.” Jay murmured, brushing a few flyaways back from your face. “Your just hurting yourself more. We are ready. We have you. Just let it happen.” Jay soothed, anchoring you onto your side again.

You whimpered, tears sliding down your face. Almost as quickly as the sound came out, you zoned out, and then let your eyes flutter closed.

“She’s out.” Kelly informed your other lovers, moving toward your feet to get out of the way.

“Here it comes.” Jay muttered, feeling you lock up under his hands.

Then the full seizure started. You jerked around, head flinging back as your arms locked into your chest and legs kicked out. Kelly and Matt moved the furniture further away as Jay kept you on your side as best he could without hurting you. All the boys kept saying encouraging words, knowing you might not hear them, but they felt this was all they could do in their own helpless state.

Matt had thought to turn on his stop watch when the seizure started and looked down after a while. “Shit. It’s been 3 minutes. Help me get the spray in her nose.” Matt said to Kelly.

Kelly nodded, carefully walking around you to gently steady your head. Matt leaned over you from behind and sprayed the rescue medicine into your nostrils. Within thirty seconds, your movements slowed and you went completely still under Jay’s hands. All three boys breathed a sigh of relief, glad that you seemed to be coming out of it.

When you started flexing your hands, Kelly reached over and took one of your hands in his. “Hey baby. Take it slow. You just had a seizure.” Jay said, speaking slowly as you often had trouble concentrating immediately following a seizure.

You hummed, leaning back into Jay’s knees, head falling into Matt’s lap. Slowly, you brought your free hand up to your mouth, wiping away the saliva that had dribbled out while Matt wiped your tears.

“How yah feelin?” Kelly murmured, leaning down to kiss your forehead after wiping your brow with the hand towel Matt brought.

“Tired.” You slurred, slowly sliding a hand down to your stomach. “Kinna sick.” Your eyes welling with tears. As if having a seizure wasn’t bad enough, you also had to have an extreme fear of vomiting.

They all nodded and Matt silently moved the bucket closer. They carefully watched every move you made. Every now and then, you would twitch a little or whine as your stomach churned. Some color some coming back to your face, even as you fought the nausea down. They knew you were uncomfortable and probably wanted a shower, given that you had an accident during your seizure.

“Hey babe. Ready to sit up and try some of your water?” Kelly asked, running a hand over your head to push back some flyaways.

You nodded, letting the boys slowly help you into a sitting position. Jay had you between his legs, back propped up against his chest to support you and help you calm down more. You flushed as you eyed the small wet mark on the carpet before quickly paling. Luckily, Matt was still keeping a close eye on you and shoved the bucket under your chin before you could process what was even happening.

You cried out at the end of the first dry heave, immediately panicking. Jay made sure that he had you stabilized as Matt stabilized the bucket and Kelly took your hand, rubbing your shoulder with the other.

“Shhhh. Just breathe. It’ll be over soon.” Matt cooed, lowering his voice to a soothing baritone that he knows helps calm you.

“Just let it happen and try to relax. It’s okay sweet girl.” Jay mumbled, kissing the back of your neck.

You only threw up a little bit, having been scared of this exact situation and barely eating all day. The dry heaves stuck around for a few minutes before you were left gasping for air. Audible wheezes were the only thing that could be heard as the boys tried to let you calm down. Kelly, without saying a word, gently shook your inhaler as Jay grabbed the water from the coffee table a few feet to his right.

“Here sweetheart. Shhhhh. Just try to breathe for me. You need to wash your mouth out so that Kel can give you your inhaler.” Jay soothes, lightly pushing the cup to your bottom lip to prompt you to open. You did, quickly swishing your mouth out and spitting in the bucket.

Matt left, taking the bucket to empty out and to start a bath for you. Jay settled you into his chest again, slightly swaying to try and calm you. Kelly prepped your inhaler and the chamber attachment before holding it to your lips. He counted down and then counted your breaths as you inhaled the medication through the chamber, allowing the inhaler to open your lungs again. Once you were done, Kelly put tue medication aside and stood, taking you in his arms and carrying you to the bathroom with Jay on his heels.

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, please comment below! Thank you! ❤️

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #matt casey #kelly severide #jay halstead #fluff #matt casey x reader #jay halstead x reader #comfort #kelly severide x reader #epilepsy #asthma

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thebadgerclan · 1 year

Text

Salvation

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: You are his salvation...

A/N: This is based on the scene from Queen Charlotte where she finds out what the doctors have been doing to George (episode 5 I think?)

The demon was back. After months of peace, of Nikolai’s mind being entirely his own, it was back. The King had flown from his window three weeks ago, and since then, your contact with him had been limited. It was a protocol that your husband had drawn up after his last battle with the demon, a contingency plan that he prayed he’d never have to enact. But prayers weren’t always answered.

You now slept in separate chambers, your husband had returned to being chained to his bed and sedated. Even during the day, a time that had been proven safe from the demon, Nikolai was distant, subdued. You’d overheard him discussing it with one of his advisers: “Her Majesty is worried, moi tsar.” “I cannot risk her,” your husband had responded. “She is far too important.”

What little you saw of your husband broke your heart. He looked exhausted, and you might have been able to chalk it up to the stress of the situation, had it not been for one minuscule, almost imperceptible detail. Nikolai had brought in physicians from all over Ravka in hopes of finding a cure, and one, Doctor Laisia Orlov from Tsibeya, had some interesting theories. At this point, Nikolai was willing to try anything to expel the demon from him, so he allowed Doctor Orlov to set up rooms in the Palace to do her work.

It was nearly a month and a half into your husbands treatment that you noticed it. Nikolai had been meeting with his council when the Doctor entered, and when she walked near the King, he flinched. You didn’t claim to be a medical professional, but you knew that a patient shouldn’t flinch when their doctor walked past. From then, you noticed that Nikolai would mumble to himself, his hands would shake, his head would twitch. Something was amiss, and it had something to do with Doctor Orlov.

It was two weeks after that that you got a feeling deep in your gut that something was wrong. Not just wrong, but deeply, horribly wrong. You pushed aside the papers you’d been going over and tracked down Nikolai’s valet. He was flanked by four guards, which was extremely unusual, but they bowed when you approached. “My Queen,” Akim, your husband’s valet, greeted. “How may I assist you?”

“Akim, where is my husband?” Before he could answer, one of the guards interjected. “He is occupied, moya tsaritsa,” he said, which only raised your suspicion. “Forgive me, but my question was not directed at you. Akim, where is Nikolai?” The valet shifted, and you pushed on. “I will not ask again, Akim.” “He is–” he cleared his throat. “He is receiving treatment. With Doctor Orlov.”

Again, your suspicion rose, but you forced yourself to remain calm. “Well then, I should like to observe her work. She is employing some revolutionary methods, is she not?” “You do not wish to see that, Your Majesty,” said another guard, and your expression hardened. “I am the Queen,” you said. “You do not presume to tell me what I would and would not like to see. Now, where are the Doctor’s rooms located?”

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” the first guard said. “I’m afraid I cannot grant your request.” You drew yourself up to your full height, and while this guard was taller than you, he cowered a bit. “I am not asking,” you said, voice icy. “Now, tell me where my husband is, or I will have you charged with treason.” “This way, Your Majesty,” Akim said suddenly, and you hurried to follow him.

The King’s valet led you into the kitchens and the storage cellar below, your concern growing with every step. Then you heard it: screaming. Nikolai, screaming. You hiked up your skirts and ran down the corridor, panic bubbling in you. When you came to a door, you slammed it open, the sight behind it igniting rage and horror in you. Your husband was tied to a chair, a gag between his teeth, a red hot poker pressed to his chest.

“What is this?” you demanded, and Doctor Orlov paused. “Untie the King.” Akim and the four guards had trailed you, but all stood frozen. “Untie the King! I command you!” “Queen Y/N, you cannot–” “Do not tell me what I can and cannot do!” you snapped, composure completely slipping. “I will have you hanged for this, do you understand me? Torturing your King?”

“It is not torture, Majesty, it is medicine!” Doctor Orlov argued. “You cannot have me hanged for practicing medicine.” “I am your Queen!” you screamed, moving to stand nose-to-nose with the Doctor. “If I wish for you to be hanged, then you will be hanged. If I wish for you to be drawn and quartered, then you shall be. If I wish for you to rot in a cell for the rest of your pathetic life, then you shall! Get her out of my sight!”

The guards snapped to attention and dragged the Doctor out, and you turned your attention to your husband, who was being supported by Akim. “Oh, Nikolai,” you breathed, and he fell into your arms, clutching your gown. He was trembling, mumbling to himself. “My love, what have they done to you?” “Y-Y-Y/N?” he managed, and you nodded, cupping his cheek. “Yes, darling, it’s Y/N. Y/N’s here, I’m here. It’s me, sweetheart.”

You felt him relax in your arms, and he let out a shuddering breath. “Akim,” you called. “Have the guards clear the halls and get a Healer to our rooms.” “Yes, Your Majesty,” the valet said, hurrying from the room. “It didn’t like her,” Nikolai mumbled, and you stroked his hair. “What was that, my love?” “It didn’t like her. The demon.” You were about to ask what he meant by that, but Akim re-entered. “The halls are clear, Majesty.”

The two of you helped Nikolai to walk back to your rooms, and you changed him into his nightclothes, tucking him into bed. The Healer arrived soon after, examining the King and healing the burns, rope marks, and leech bites. “He’ll need rest,” she instructed. “And he needs you. After what he endured…” “Of course,” you replied, thanking the Healer and dismissing her.

Nikolai was dozing, and you climbed into bed at his side, pulling him into your arms. Already he seemed better, his face calm and relaxed, his tremor gone, no longer mumbling. “Nikolai, darling?” “Hmm?” “What did you mean earlier when you said ‘it didn’t like her’?” Your husband shifted in your arms so he could look at you. “The demon didn’t like Orlov,” he explained.

“When she was around, it came to the forefront of my mind, it tried to get out. And when she was…treating me, it would fight like mad to get free. But when you came in there…when you held me, it went away.” “Went away?” “Mhmm,” your husband replied. “When she was there, I had to fight to keep it at bay, but with you, it’s gone. I don’t feel it at all.” “Nikolai,” you said suddenly, clarity coming over you. “Do you remember the night the demon came back? When was it?”

The King thought for a moment before answering. “I think it was the 8th, why?” Suddenly, it all made sense. “I was staying with my mother in Balakirev then,” you said. “And that was the first night we’d spent apart since–” “Since after the war,” Nikolai finished for you. “Since I was infected with the demon.” It all made perfect sense now: it wasn’t chance that the demon re-appeared, it happened in your absence.

Now that he thought about it, more and more pieces clicked into place. He’d felt the demon clawing at his mind before, when he was anxious or stressed, but when you were near, it released its clutches and left him in peace. The Darkling had given him this curse, but the Darkling had never known love, never known the solace of another’s arms. But Nikolai did, and it was that love, that solace that was his cure. Not medicine, not science, not any religious ritual, it was you. It had always been you.

“Y/N,” Nikolai said. “You saved me.” “I’ll have that mad woman hanged for what she did to you, I’ll–” “Darling,” your husband said, smiling softly, brushing your hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek tenderly. “As attractive as it is to hear you threaten someone on my behalf, that’s not what I mean.” You heard a hint of his usual wit and banter slip back into his tone, and you knew that your husband was back.

“You are what keeps the demon at bay, my love,” Nikolai continued. “When I feel it coming on, trying to get out, all I have to do is look at you, and it vanishes. I have never felt its claws when I’m with you, when you’re in my arms. Y/N Lantsov, you are my salvation, my solace, and my greatest love.” Tears, happy tears pricked at your eyes, and you pressed your lips to his.

“If you’re making flowery declarations, then you must be feeling better,” you joked, but Nikolai was deadly serious. “I’m not joking, Y/N. The two months we were apart were the worst of my life. I couldn’t sleep, I barely ate, I was a shell of myself. But an hour in your arms and I’m a new man. You are my savior, Y/N.” “Nikolai, I–” “No, my love, you are. My Queen, my salvation.”

You smiled, kissing him again. “I love you so much, Nikolai,” you whispered, pulling him closer. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Saints, I’ve missed you.” Nikolai nuzzled his face into your chest, happy to be held in your embrace. “I love you too, my darling Y/N. And I missed you far more than I could ever say.” That Doctor would pay for what she’d done, but for now, you had your Nikolai, and he had his salvation. His Y/N, his wife, his Queen, his love.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone reader insert

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strayseraphine · 2 months

Text

choice | one shot

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

summary: The opportunity to work in the same place as your childhood best friend is a great, right? Unfortunately, it turns out that it's hard to control the emotions that have been swirling in your hearts for years when you're at arm's length. fluff, a little bit of angst, jealousy, friends to lovers, cheesy fic with our silly cute channie

The kdrama mentioned is called Tomorrow and the fic mentions about episode 5, you have been warned. Here is the song from the episode that also appears in the fic.

TW: menfions of suicide, death, depression

5 204 words

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

bang chan masterlist | general masterlist | stranger things masterlist

Holding the handle of your suitcase tightly, you felt like a child lost in a crowd. You were breathless, and instead of slowing down, your breathing sped up and became more and more erratic.

What on earth tempted you to leave your entire life so far and fly to the other end of the world?

Then, as if on a call, a reason appeared in front of your eyes.

Despite the cap and mask covering his face, you immediately recognized him. However, not wanting to draw attention to you, you came closer and in silence went to the car, where immediately after closing the door you felt strong arms tighten around you.

"I missed you so much!" he muttered, snuggling into your neck.

"I missed you too, Channie." you laughed as you reciprocated the hug, smelling his perfume, which he had been using since you can remember. You didn't know it was possible to miss a scent that much.

"I can't believe I'm going to work with my best friend!" he said.

"First of all, you're lucky the boys can't hear it, secondly we won't."

"What do you mean we won't?"

"I, unlike you, will be locked in the office."

"But we will be in the same building! We will be able to spend our breaks together, I can bring you coffee and snacks!" he said excitedly with a wide smile on his face and squeezed your hand. You didn't complain about the fact that he didn't let go of you until the car pulled up to your new temporary home.

Two months ago, Chan called you saying that at JYP they were looking for someone for a temporary translator position. Since you were fresh out of college in the process of looking for a job, he thought you should definitely apply. Thinking little, you submitted your application.

Three weeks later, you received an invitation to an online interview, which resulted in a successful outcome and a contract signed for six months.

The experience you were able to gain working for this company was extremely valuable, but you were ashamed to admit that your main motivation for coming here was Chris. As children, the two of you were inseparable, but when he left Australia to chase his dreams both of you stubbornly made sure that contact did not disappear. When he came home on vacation you spent most of your free time together feeling as if he had never left.

Somewhere between playing together in the sandbox, sneaking out of the house for the late-night walks you used to go for when he returned to Australia during his teenage years and skipping lectures at uni just so you could spend the day and then the night with him, a strong bond formed between you.

In it there was something else to be found.

Something you both tried to ignore and push away.

Something that you were killing in each other thinking it was one-sided.

Something that you tried to keep in an iron, indestructible cage deep in your hearts.

Something that shattered the bars every time you saw each other.

The weeks at work were passing awfully fast. Your new co-workers welcomed you very warmly, meetings with Chris became your daily routine, and you felt more and more comfortable here every day. Keeping the promise, you spent all your lunch breaks together, sometimes joined by other members of the group. You quickly became part of the meetings. You even accompanied them during dance rehearsals and studio recordings. Especially Chan. Sitting with him in the studio until the morning hours and greeting sunrises together became almost a habit.

Today, however, you had the day off, while Chris had a full day of rehearsal for the gala to be held in a week's time. A strange feeling of emptiness and longing accompanied you throughout the day. You weren't afraid to admit that you were already used to his daily presence. However, you were afraid to think what will happen when you have to go back to Australia.

In order to focus your thoughts on something else after lunch you turned into a couch potato and started watching kdrama. Completely losing all sense of reality, you fully gave yourself over to the stories of the characters, which moved you to tears. You were snapped out of your trance by a phone call.

"Hello?" you said in a broken voice, not even trying to hide that you were crying. Unfortunately, the other side of the phone remained quiet and quickly hung up. Not caring much you wanted to go back to watching, but moments later Chan barged into your apartment without even bothering to knock on the door.

"Chris? what are you doing here?" you asked surprised still sobbing.

"What happened?" He asked. The sight of your heartbroken voice on the phone made his heart freeze.

"What?"

"We finished training, so I figured you were probably still awake and in the mood for something to eat, I called and heard you crying. What happened?" he explained quickly with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh god… Nothing happened! It just- It was just so damn beautifull and sad!" you laughed through your tears.

"Were you watching drama again?" he just sighed feeling small relief.

"Of course I was!"

"You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I am sorry!" you threw a pillow in his diercion.

"Okay, okay, what was it about?" he shook his head, sitting down next to you.

"She died in a car accident, and he was someone who had to deal with a lot of deaths of his loved ones, his whole life, everyone blamed him for it! and he did nothing wrong!" you felt like your throat was shrinking. "His father blamed him for his mother's death because she died while giving birth, then when his wife died, her father also blamed him and he was in such a dark place, he wanted to kill himself, he believed them, that it was his fault!" you were ranting about character history, and he was just looking at you with a smile on his lips.

Despite the fact that your eyes were swollen and red from crying, he found something somehow adorable. Something pure. Something that made him want to hide you in his arms and kiss the tears off your cheeks. However, he quickly had to chase these thoughts away. After all, he was incapable of falling in love, wasn't he?

"And they show love in such a beautiful way here! Maybe I don't agree with "you are my whole life attitude" but in other aspects? They compare human beings to a tree, you know? People are like trees, And what matters is who makes the flowers bloom on the tree, which means your life can change depending on who you meet. At that moment she proposes to him, saying she wants to be the one to make the flowers on his tree bloom."

"A beautiful metaphor." he replied.

"Right? Later they present the red thread theory, which says that they are connected to each other and will find each other in each incarnation, which gives such a strange sense of hope! But I still think love is more of a choice than a destiny, which seems much stronger, because if I heard from someone now that I'm their whole world and their life doesn't exist without me I don't know if I'd be scared."

"How is it that you're one of the most romantic people I know, and you're afraid of such great confessions of love?" he asked.

"Imagine being in a relationship with a very toxic person, and when you want to get away from them they start threatening to kill themselves because they can't live without you. People in moments of desperation are able to go as far as anything, and love, despite the fact that it is very beautiful, can make a person very stupid." you explained.

"You are right."

"I am lucky enough to have some people who genuinely want the flowers on my tree bloom." you smiled. "You are one of them, by the way." you leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you also take very good care of my tree." he replied without thinking. "Not only mine." he added quickly with a grunt. He began thinking about how other people feel in your company. About how there is always brightness and warmth in the room along with you. About how in his life the dark void was decorated with shining stars creating a beautiful night sky thanks to you.

"Who do you think your red thread is connected to?" you asked suddenly after a moment of silence.

"Mine?" he asked puzzled. Certainly not with the person I would like to. He thought. "Mine has probably been broken."

"I don't think so, in the show they said it only breaks at the moment of suicide. You are still here Chan, your thread surely leads to someone wonderful, as you deserve." You patted him on the knee. "Oh! there was also a very beautiful song in this episode, wanna hear?"

"Sure." He replied quietly and watched you get up from the couch to your laptop. He watched your every move, hoping to spot at least the thinnest red thread between the two of you.

"Can you focus?" Lee Know asked rolling his eyes.

"Earth to kangaroo! Where are you Chan?" added Han waving his hand in front of his face.

"I am focused, I don't know what you mean." he replied trying to defend himself.

"We have been practicing the same routine for an hour, and you are messing up the steps as if you were dancing it for the first time. " Minho squinted his eyes.

"Come on, give him a break, he is in looove." laughed Hyunjin.

"I am not!"

"We can see that there is something between the two of you, we can see how you look at her, you can't fool us, you do not look at a friend like that."

"I am not in love with y/n!" he said loudly, but without conviction. Saying those words caused him pain. Somehow saying that he doesn't love you felt wrong.

"But you know…none of us said her name out loud." said Changbin more peacefully.

"But-" Chan sighed and resignedly hid his face in his hands. For years he had pushed his feelings aside, but now that you were so close and had become an integral part of his life it was too difficult.

"Why you never let me bring her brownies that I made?" Felix laughed.

"Why do you always smile like an idiot when she sends you a photo?" I.N added.

"Let's just go back to the practice." He cut off the subject, knowing that the guys were right. Nevertheless, he knew that the moment he admitted it, nothing would be the same again, and changes can be scary.

In every job, no matter how wonderful, there are hard times. Today, some of your co-workers decided to take out their bad mood and frustration over non-functioning equipment on the team you were on. Although you knew that their bad mood was caused by the work reorganization, some unpleasant comments and remarks were particularly memorable and ruined your mood.

Due to a system failure that prevented you from working, you were told to go home before lunch, so you were not surprised to hear the sound of the phone at the hour when you usually meet.

"Where are you?" asked Chan.

"There was a system malfunction and they let us go home."

"So you won't be joining us?"

"What? Why?" Felix's voice came from the background. "But I made brownies! I brought them for you!" he took Chan's phone closer.

"Give me the phone, Felix!"

There was a commotion on the other side of the phone. You could imagine Felix running away with the phone and the guys helping him keep the leader at bay.

"Hey y/n!"

"Hey Seungmin, what's up?"

"Bang Chan misses you!" you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tell him I miss him too," you chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough!" judging by Seungmin's mumbling and laughing, you concluded that the phone had returned to its owner.

"Talk to you later, bye!" he hung up before you had time to answer anything.

Since you had more time today, you decided to use it for cleaning, which always helped you to calm down to some extent, losing yourself in it and in the music from the speaker, you didn't know when a few hours had passed. Satisfied with your clean surroundings, you sat down on the couch, but after a while you felt a wave of fatigue hit you. With nothing better to do, you covered yourself with a blanket and fell asleep.

Unfortunately, this time the nap did not help your mood, and the sound of a knock on the door that woke you up made you even more upset. Covered with a blanket, you moved slowly toward the door. Then, as if by magic, when you saw Chan in the doorway, all your anger vanished and was replaced by…relief?

With a mournful whimper, you let your emotions carry you and without asking, you hugged him, cuddling into his chest. Surprised at first, he made no move, but he quickly woke up and you felt him embrace you. The familiar scent of his perfume created a sense of security in your mind that made every negative feeling inside you want to find an escape. Your breathing became more and more shaky as you fought back the tears that came to your eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, sensing your stress. "Let it out, I'm here." His large hand began to slide up and down your back, caressing you.

"You are here." you muttered while snuggling even more into his shirt. He had the feeling that his heart was now on fire, but it wasn't the heat causing unbearable pain. It was the fire that slowly burns in the fireplace on winter evenings warming the house. Home. That's how he felt in your company.

"Come, let's sit down and you'll tell me all about it." he suggested, however, you still did not want to leave his arms. Selfishly you tightened your embrace without moving from your spot. "We can cuddle on the couch, come on." he chuckled seeing your reaction. Sitting snuggled into each other, Chan connected to the speaker and played your playlist with calmer songs in the background. It took a moment before you started to open up and talk about what had overwhelmed you today.

"I am so sorry." he murmured into your hair.

"I feel better now." you replied quietly.

"For real?"

"You are here so…yes."

A silence fell between the two of you but it was not awkward. At this level of friendship, shared silence was not something new or strange for you. The silence was broken by the sounds of another song.

"Ah, I love this song," he said. "I can't stop listening to it since you showed it to me."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Along with the melody and the singer, Chan's soft and calm voice also began to spread around the room. You closed your eyes relishing the blissful moment, thinking you had found something good in this awful day. If it weren't for the nasty mood, you wouldn't have found comfort and solace in his arms.

How wonderful it would be if you could do this without any excuse?

"Do you remember when we fell asleep together like that, and Hannah took a picture of us and sent it out to all our friends and family saying that we were together?" he asked when the song was over.

"Yes," you laughed slightly at the memory.

"God, I wanted to kill her then." he also laughed.

"Why?"

"Uh, I mean its us, right? Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?" he replied embarrassed. This answer turned out to be a strong punch, which you had to take with clenched teeth and pretend that everything was fine.

The thing you didn't know was that what he said was just an escape from the truth. That day when everyone was congratulating you and telling you that you were finally a couple, he was afraid like nothing else that you would discover the truth about his feelings and that deep down he really wanted it to be true. Unfortunately, he did not know that you were on the same page.

Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?

These words haunted you for the next few days. No matter how good your mood was, they always came back ruining it instantly. They also pushed you to accepting a date to which you were invited by an employee from the marketing department. You were very often matched for joint projects, you worked very well together, you found nothing of agreement right away, but you didn't see this being blinded by Chan and your feelings for him. But since in his opinion you were just friends and had no chance to get out of this sphere, it was time to move on.

"y/n do you have any plans for tomorrow?" I.N asked, passing you in the hallway.

"I don't have until four, why?"

"We have a day off and we wanted to go shopping with Felix, why don't you go for a walk with us?"

"Sure!" the idea was good, you took it as an opportunity to buy something nice for your date.

"Cool, in that case we'll be in touch!" Maknae smiled charmingly, reminding you how similar he is to his skzoo.

"Sounds like a plan." you smiled back and returned to your desk. The rest of the day passed very smoothly and quickly for you.

Before you knew it you were already on your way to go shopping. Yeongin and Felix carefully browsed each hanger however you absent-mindedly only glanced superficially at the clothes. Your date was getting closer and closer however the less time left the more anxious and uncertain you felt. The fact that the person you were to spend the evening with was not Chan made it all seem…wrong.

How else were you able to move on?

Was it fair what you were doing now?

How would you feel if someone went on a date with you just to forget about someone else?

On the other hand, after all, that wasn't your only motive. In truth, you liked Minjun. He was handsome, kind, funny, you had many common interests, you really wanted to get to know him better.

"Earth to y/n!" the voice of Felix brought you back to reality.

"What?" you shrugged.

"Say hello to Chan!" Yeongin exclaimed happily, pointing his phone's camera at you. "We decided to show him how much fun we are having while he has to work."

"You are cruel!" at the sound of his voice you felt like you were caught in a crime. Not knowing what to do you awkwardly waved towards the camera, and then grabbed the first better dress and hid in the fitting room feeling embarrassed. What the hell is wrong with you? you thought looking at your reflection in the mirror.

"Hey, are you okay?" Felix asked lightly knocking on the fitting room door.

"Uh-yes!" you replied quickly, "I'm just trying on a dress!"

"In that case we are waiting for you to show up in it!"

The dress turned out to lie perfectly on you. The guys' assurances that you look good in it finally convinced you to the purchase.

When you got home it was time for preparations. Preparations that stressed you out even more. You tried to drown out your thoughts with music, but it was especially hard when a large part of your playlist consisted of songs by a band whose leader is the person you are trying to forget. The other part of the playlist was the songs you associated with him anyway. When you heard the first notes of Summer Flower you felt that you were in a no-win situation. If for so many years, being thousands of miles away, you had not managed to forget him how were you supposed to do it now having him at your fingertips almost every day? With a sigh you looked at the couch thinking about the moment when he held you there in his arms harmonizing his voice with the song.

What if he were here now?

What if now instead of getting ready for a date you were preparing snacks for a movie night together?

If you could spend the whole afternoon and evening cuddled up with him, holding his hand or playing with his hair if he laid his head on your lap?

Apparently, fate could read your mind, because as you combed your hair through the sound of the music a knock at the door broke through. Then you were greeted by the sight of Chris with a bag of snacks.

"I thought since I missed shopping together, we could make up for it with a marathon instead." he said dodging you at the threshold and entering the apartment.

Not knowing what to say you stared at him. The silence on your part prompted him to stop. Still not guessing anything, he noticed the brush in your hand and the knot in your hair. "Come on, let me help you." You went to the bedroom where you sat in front of the mirror. He hummed under his breath combing your hair with a slight smile on his lips enjoying this little moment. Whenever he combed your hair you laughed that he was giving you the princess treatment. That wasn't the case this time, which made him feel a little strange. "What do you feel like? a movie? kdrama? anime?" he tried to strike up a conversation. The fact that you haven't spoken a word since he came in increased this feeling.

"Chris…" Hearing your quiet, nervous voice he looked around. A dress hanging on a hanger, waiting to be put on, cosmetics scattered next to the mirror, an open jewelry box. It didn't take him long to guess that watching together today wouldn't work out.

"Are you going out somewhere?" he asked.

"I'm going on a date…" You said while sticking your gaze to the floor.

"Oh." visibly surprised, he stopped combing your hair for a moment. "Who's the lucky guy?" he asked in a forced joking tone, not wanting to make the situation seem even stranger.

"Minjun from the marketing department." you wanted to avoid looking at him at all costs. You were afraid of what you might see if you lifted your gaze. You were afraid that you would see disappointment, or worse, happiness and satisfaction that you were going out with someone else. However, if you actually looked at him you would see Channie's charming smile turn into a heartbroken expression. He could feel the jealousy building up in him, which he had to nip in the bud already. He couldn't let you notice, so he finished combing your hair as quickly as possible and left, explaining that he didn't want to disturb your preparations. You didn't protest, but something inside you was asking, begging even to tell you not to go anywhere and to stay here with him.

"I can't believe you lost to the guy from the marketing department." said Minho sitting down on the couch next to him. As soon as he left your flat he wanted to hole up in the studio however, halfway through a message about a movie marathon appeared on the group chat.

"Actually, he didn't lose because there was no competition," said Han.

"Exactly, if you had told her how you felt earlier she would have definitely chosen you" added Changbin.

"Can we focus on the movie?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Sorry hyung but this is definitely more interesting than the movie". said Hyunjin.

"You should go there and break the date." suggested Seungmin.

"Make up some excuse and call that you two absolutely must meet now!" I.N followed his idea.

"Can you guys just shut up and focus on the movie?" he asked more annoyed. There was a silence all around, which made him feel even worse. "I'm sorry…" he sighed. "I know I screwed up, but it's too late."

"We just want you to be happy." said Felix handing him a brownie on a plate.

"Even if it did work out…she doesn't deserve to hide and keep everything a secret."

"Maybe she won't mind? Maybe you can find a solution? Whatever is going on between you two has been going on for years, look how far you've come."

"Let's just focus on the movie, please."

Despite the fact that the guys had let the subject go and now the room was filled with laughter and loud comments about what was happening on the screen Chris couldn't focus at all. His head was filled with scenarios of what you can do now, did you have fun, did you let him hold your hand? hug you? kiss you? Jealousy bubbled up inside him but what could he do?

Somewhere near the end of the movie, his phone started vibrating with notifications, which he decided to ignore. Seungmin, however, annoyed by the constant vibrating, grabbed his phone to mute it but your nickname caught his attention.

"Chan you won't believe who it is." he said with a smile and started typing something.

"Who?" asked the unmoved leader, the only person he wanted to see a message from now was having a great time on a date with someone else. He didn't get an answer for a long moment.

"y/n didn't go on the date." This sentence made all the energy come back to him and he immediately snatched the phone from his hand to see the news.

c97b: why are you sending me tiktoks while being on a date? (your nickname): I am not on the date c97b: what? (your nickname): he cancelled last minute, so…

He looked at the phone in disbelief.

"Do something!" a shout from Lee Know brought him back to reality.

"This is your chance!" applauded Changbin.

Before he had time to think anything through his fingers were already running across the keyboard.

c97b: put the dress on. (your nickname): what? c97b: wear the dress, I will be there in 10.

What the hell is he doing? What will he tell you? How will he behave?

Thoughts and insecurities ate him from the inside out, and his hand was shaking when he was knocking at the door. However, when you opened it suddenly all the bad thoughts disappeared. All that mattered was how beautiful you looked now, and the struggle with the need to take you in his arms and not let you out of them.

Greeting you with a boyishly charming smile, he said it would be a shame if all your preparations for the going out went to waste. It was enough to make your disappointment with Minjun disappear. Enough for him to completely disappear from your thoughts which were once again completely possessed by your best friend.

Enjoying the last rays of sunshine today you went to the park for ice cream. You took a blanket with you to sit on the grass near the pond.

The meeting was not much different from the others, you were talking about everything and nothing, walking along the winding paths, watching the dogs playing, laughing how wonderful it would be to have little Berry here with you now and how she would love it here. The ice cream was the perfect cool down and sweetness, but Chan's showing dimples and his silly jokes were much sweeter.

Moments before sunset, you spread out your blanket and sat in silence watching the sky slowly turning orange and the sun disappearing behind the horizon directing its last warm rays at you, which you accepted with a smile.

"Thank you Channie." you said looking away from the scenery. Now you were able to notice that instead of watching the sunset, he was looking at you.

"You have nothing to thank me for." He shrugged his shoulders.

"For being there." You smiled slightly.

"I always will be." he replied without thinking.

"That's what friends are for, right?" You couldn't help the note of sadness creeping into your voice.

"y/n…" suddenly his face paled.

"What's wrong?" you asked worriedly.

"I think- I-" he began to stammer.

"Chris, whats going on?" The darkest scenarios appeared in front of your eyes, and panic rose in you.

"I think I am in love with you." he whispered.

"Oh my god-" surprised you covered your mouth with your hand. The shock on your face scared him more than it would have if your reaction had been instant rejection.

"I know, I know! But- I beg you even if you don't feel the same, let's just forget about it, I just had to tell you, finally after all these years, I couldn't hold it in anymore, but I understand that I'm just a friend to you, I don't want to lose you just because of some stupid feelings, hmp-" suddenly his ranting was interrupted by your lips. Sweet, soft lips that he had dreamed of touching for years. He had just fulfilled a scenario that had always seemed unattainable. Without wasting a moment he cupped your face making you cling even closer to him. The happiness that filled you pressed a smile to your lips that interrupted the kiss.

"If your feelings are stupid that means mine are too, because I feel exactly the same as you, you fool." you said quietly.

"I am a fool, a fool for you." he replied and kissed you again.

When you broke away from each other, this time hugging, you finished watching the sunset, which now seemed much more beautiful.

"It's gonna be hard…" he said after a moment of silence.

"Love isn't easy" you said. "b"But it's definitely worth it."

"How are we going to deal with all this?"

"We will find a solution, we always do."

"You think so?"

"Channie…" you took his hand, brought it to your lips and gently kissed the top of it. "I don't want to suddenly become your whole world, you won't be mine either, we both have separate lives, but love is not about the other person suddenly becoming the only thing we see. Love is about understanding that we both have separate worlds but we also have the desire to merge them. Love is finding a common path together."

"You are walkig hope, you know this?"

"Love is not fate, it is a choice. And that's what makes it powerful." You added again kissing his hand.

"You are my choice." he replied kissing your forehead.

No matter how crazy the collision of these worlds will be, he believed that as long as you are together everything will work out.

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