#this becomes increasingly illegible as you read

[narutodivorcearcreal]

how do you imagine fem angelface lookin like? Do you think she would look the same as her male counterpart but somewhat different?

basically this:

so not that different from her male counterpart.. i really liked the caterpillar eyebrows and messy hair so i kept those, as well as her being insanely blonde. the freckles are there just bc i thought they were cute. i think she’s very young, too. not 16 like in the script which is INSANE and FALSE, but in the 19-23 range.

and character wise i think due to her youth she’s the one who changes the most out of the cast, or at least among the side characters. so while this is a spiral into insanity for narrator its a coming of age movie for angel face. she just slippery slopes from -> attending fight club because she enjoys violence and agrees with tyler’s sermons -> becomes further radicalized as she joins Project mayhem and the soap company -> becomes one of the leaders of terrorist cult and commits domestic terrorism and murder on a massive scale. at the beginning i 100% believe she had a puppy crush on Tyler/narrator, but probably grew out of it sometime between getting her face smashed in and putting pipe bombs in senators’ mailboxes. imo she’s very aware of how she looks and is extra aggressive to compensate, which is probably why she got promoted in the terrorist death cult.

i draw her super cutesy and wide eyed in most of my posts.. but tbh i dont think thats how she really looks, but moreso how narrator sees her if that makes sense? narrator has a tendency to perceive only in relation to herself (i want bob to br my mom, i want/want to be tyler, i want the boss to be my dad (NOT as in she want the boss, as he is, to be her dad, but that she wants him to be a paternal figure? something that he’s not)) and in that same vein she sees angel face as “i want to be her/ i want to want to be her/ i want what she has”? if that makes sense. sort of an inverse tyler (i want her ability to reject society and find freedom vs i want her qualities which make her accepted and desired in society)? thats why i think she resents her so much—“you have what i wanted and you choose to reject it/you have what i tried to have and you have it without even trying/ you can have both these things at the same time while i cant even have one (total commitment to tyler’s ideology and acceptance/desire by society because of her looks)” sort of sentiment— and ofc tyler being affectionate towards her doesnt help.. so basically a time bomb made of jealousy and resentment.

#this becomes increasingly illegible as you read #f fight club #fem fight club #angel face

[zukomysweetbabyboy]

real joy is reading those zukka fics where zuko and iroh are living in ba sing se and zuko keeps sneaking off to be gay and iroh is becoming increasingly concerned that he’s doing like dangerous/illegal/avatar-hunting type things and then iroh finds out and is like oh! thank god! i didn’t even consider you might be gay! this is so much better than anything i ever could have hoped for! and zuko is like …what

#zuko #iroh #fanfic #zukka #ziggy talks

[catmiemy]

Another Chance to Live Part 2 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Ana has to play against her former club with your former team. You do your best to support each other and slowly become closer.

Part 1

A/N: It took me a bit longer to re-read and edit this than I thought since it made me emotional because of another transfer that I'm still in denial about 😭

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next part. I'm always happy to hear what you think or what you'd like to see in this story.

Just like you had hoped, Ana and you continued to hang out regularly. In fact you spent most of your days off together and even met up fairly often in the evenings, relaxing either at her or your apartment. More often than not you still couldn’t believe your luck that the Swiss woman actually liked being around you too.

You made sure to steer away from any deep topics though, keeping in mind that Ana preferred when you offered distractions when she seemed unhappy. It wasn’t always easy for you because you wanted to know everything about her and you longed to comfort the blonde when she looked at you with sad eyes. However you understood that she had other people, better friends, that she could talk these things over with.

On the other hand Ana with her sweet and caring nature always asked how you were doing and offered to listen to your problems the moment she picked up that something was bothering you. The desire to tell her everything was almost unbearable at times. You wanted to unload all the things weighing on your heart , well maybe not everything, you would never reveal your feelings for her, but other things like the situation at your club or with your family.

However you didn’t. You successfully kept yourself from spilling your sorrows to Ana. For one you didn’t want to burden the Swiss woman with your problems, she had enough going on without you adding to it. And also you didn’t want her to know that she was the only person you would actually feel comfortable opening up to. It was a painful reminder that Ana was so much more important to you than you were to her.

A few days before Atlético was due to play Barcelona in Madrid the two of you were hanging out again. You had cooked some food together and then settled down in front of the TV for the night. You could tell that the Swiss woman was having a hard time focusing on the show you were watching, even though she had picked it.

Ana kept sighing quietly and glancing over at you. You in turn did your best to distract her, offering up your thoughts about what you were seeing on TV. It was getting increasingly difficult not to ask the blonde what was going on.

‘She prefers a distraction. She doesn’t want to talk about it, at least not with you. What she wants from you is a distraction, so try to find some interesting or funny things to say for crying out loud!’ You reminded yourself over and over again.

You were searching your brain to find something good to say when Ana broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?” She asked timidly.

The insecurity in Ana’s voice took you by surprise, that was really unlike her. But you didn’t dwell on it; instead you quickly assured the Swiss woman that she could always ask you anything.

“Okay, so…It’s not really a question but a favor. And it’s totally fine for you to say no, don’t feel bad at all if you say no! Especially because it puts you in a bit of an awkward situation. You know what, I’m just now realizing how stupid and selfish this is and I just changed my mind.”

You reached out to place your hand on Ana’s thigh, hoping to comfort and calm the clearly agitated woman this way.

“Hey, don’t worry. Just ask me. I have no doubt that the answer will be yes,” you encouraged her.

There wasn’t a single thing you could think of that you wouldn’t do for Ana. Well maybe there were some things, most of them illegal in one way or another, but you doubted that the Swiss woman was going to ask for any of them.

Ana took a deep breath before rushing out her request, “Would you come watch our game this week? The idea of seeing all of my former teammates again really hurts and it would help me so much if I knew you were there. I understand that it’s a lot to ask because my team is your former team, so like I said…”

„Yes, of course I’ll come, it’s the least I can do,” you interrupted the Swiss woman.

Sure you weren’t too keen on going back to Atlético’s stadium and see all of your former teammates play together without you, but the simple fact that Ana asked you to come and even said it would help her, was enough to forget all about that. Who cared if it would make you a little sad? Who cared if maybe some people would come up to you and bring up the still painful transfer? You definitely didn’t, not if you had a chance to make the blonde feel better.

For some reason Ana seemed taken aback by your answer. “Wait what? It’s the least you can do? What have I ever done for you? If anything I owe you! You keep hanging out with me; you keep showing me amazing places here.”

You scrunched up your nose at the blonde’s words. It didn’t sit right with you that she made it sound like hanging out with her was a chore for you, not when it was the only thing that brought you any joy lately.

“But I love spending time with you!” You cried out, for once completely forgetting to add the obligatory ‘as a friend’.

A soft smile appeared on the Swiss woman’s face when she heard your words, as well as the indignation in your voice.

“The same is true for me,” she was quick to assure you, before focusing once again on her first question. She wouldn’t let you wriggle out of this so easily. “But seriously why do you feel like you need to pay me back in anyway? I don’t remember ever doing anything for you.”

Slight panic began pumping through your veins, as you scrambled to come up with anything better to offer up than ‘You hang out with me when you’re so much better than me and there are surely so many better people in your life that you could hang out with.’ That just wouldn’t do. It was one thing to be pathetic, but another thing to shout it from the rooftops.

“I didn’t really mean it like that. Just that I’m always happy to do anything for you,” you mumbled finally. This time you caught yourself however and quickly continued, “I love being there for my friends.”

Ana didn’t need to know that there was no one else on the planet you would do this for.

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” the blonde cooed, her compliment instantly making you blush. “And I hope you know that I’m always happy to do anything you need as well.”

You nodded instinctively, not believing it for one second. Not that you doubted that Ana would be there for you in a for a friend reasonable manner, but your commitment to her went way beyond that. There was very little the blonde could ask for that you wouldn’t do for her.

Thankfully the conversation moved on to safer topics after thi and you could relax once again. At least as much as you were ever able to relax around the woman you were hopelessly in love with.

---

When you walked to your seat in Atlético’s stadium a few days later you cursed yourself for agreeing to this. With every step you took it felt like the sadness inside of you grew, taking up more and more space until it was almost impossible to breathe.

This was supposed to be your stadium. Your teammates, former teammates you reminded yourself, had often called you the Alexia Putellas or Leah Williamson of Atlético Madrid. Someone that practically bled their team’s color, born and raised there, and honestly set on dying there too.

Not that you had ever been on a level comparable to Alexia or Leah, which had become painfully obvious when Aleti just dropped you like you were a piece of trash. You hadn’t told anyone this yet, but after that conversation you had seriously considered giving up football once and for all. The thought of playing anywhere else had been ripping you apart. But in the end the idea of not playing the sport you loved at all anymore had been even harder to bear.

You thanked your lucky star that you at least made it to your seat without anyone approaching you. At this point you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep it together if anyone spoke to you. Maybe the people around you could read as much on your face because you could definitely hear some whispering and felt a lot of gazes resting on you, but miraculously people kept their distance.

Although it was possible you were wrong about seemingly everyone watching you. You didn’t look around to check if the stares you could feel were actually real, instead you made sure to keep your eyes carefully trained on the pitch, avoiding making eye contact with anyone, which might inadvertently  give them the courage to come up to you.

So you sat there, totally rigid, every fiber of your body tense, wishing for the seconds to pass by as quickly as possible, but somehow that only made them crawl slower than a snail. Maybe you should just leave, come up with an excuse why you had to go. Was this really worth it?

You got your answer the moment Ana entered the pitch, looking around the stadium searchingly. The instant she spotted you a big smile appeared on the blonde’s face, all of the tightness leaving her body momentarily. 

Yes, this was worth it. Ana was worth this and so much more.

You kept thinking of the Swiss woman’s happiness and relief at seeing you when people got bolder during half time, walking up to you to tell you that they missed you at Atlético, that it wasn’t the same without you and that they would never forgive the club for their treatment of you. Empty words since they were here supporting them right now.

Not that you wanted them to turn their backs on the team. You understood having conflicting feelings, your own probably the most complicated of them all. Being back in this stadium you played so many of your games, made you furious and sad, but it also filled you with a longing to go back and brought about a sense of worthlessness. Why hadn’t you been good enough to keep around?

Despite Ana’s best effort to act nonchalant you saw the signs of her struggles clearly, even from the relative distance of the stands. So throughout the entire game you kept watching the blonde like a hawk, as if you could help her feel better about this by some sort of telepathic connection that required a laser like focus on your end.

This way you observed how tense Ana was when her former teammates hugged her, almost reluctant to accept the loving touches because she knew she wasn’t going to see them again anytime soon after this night. 

You also saw how lost the Swiss woman looked on the pitch when the game started. As if she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact that she was on the field with the Barça girls, but not as their teammate.

And you noticed that Ana avoided looking over to the traveling Barcelona fans until the game was finished, despite them chanting her name several times. Only once the final whistle was blown did she go over. It seemed impossible from your spot practically on the other side of the stadium, but you were sure you saw the Swiss woman holding back tears as she thanked them profusely.

You kept on watching while Ana talked with her former teammates. She smiled while chatting, but it was a smile filled with sadness. You briefly wondered if the Barça girls could see that as well. Did they even care? Even though you knew this wasn’t their fault at all, you felt an irrational anger towards them. How could they move on from Ana so quickly? They should have raised hell!

If you would have paid the Barça players any attention you would have seen the unhappiness and concern on their faces, clearly missing the Swiss woman a great deal. However your focus lay solely on the blonde.

The moment Ana disappeared into the tunnels, you also began making your way out of the stadium, keeping your head down and brushing off everyone that tried to initiate a conversation with you. They probably thought you were being rude, but you didn’t care. You were on a mission to get to Ana’s car, the agreed upon meeting point, as soon as possible.

If you would have stopped and thought about it for a second you would have realized that there was no way she would be there anytime soon. The Swiss woman still had to shower and stay around for the post match talk, so really there was no rush. Still, you hurried there as fast as you could.

And to be honest you also felt much more comfortable in the parking lot, an area off limits to the public, than in the stadium surrounded by so many curious fans. They had all been friendly and every single one that had spoken to you had stated that they were on your ‘side’, but nonetheless it was a constant reminder of your unwilling departure from your childhood club. And if it were up to you this subject would stay buried underneath heaps of pretending.

Therefore you worked hard to keep your mind away from your own dark thoughts while you waited for Ana, focusing instead on contemplating every possible emotional state the blonde could be in and how you could be a good distraction for her tonight. Because even though the two of you had to leave for your respective national teams tomorrow you had decided to spend the evening together, maybe even have a sleepover.

When the Swiss woman appeared, the first one from the team to get to the parking lot, she was a little out of breath and looked drained. Not physically, but emotionally. You debated giving her a hug, however Ana decided for you by walking directly towards the driver seat and slipping in without pausing for a second.

You assumed that she was just eager to leave, perhaps scared that one of her former teammates would catch up to her and would want to have a prolonged conversation. That was definitely something you were a little anxious about yourself with your own former teammates. Therefore the quick departure suited you just fine.

And when you caught a glimpse of some of your former teammates entering the car park as you drove off, you thanked Ana in your mind.

The truth was that the Swiss woman had actually done it for you. Throughout the night she didn’t have the same opportunity to continuously watch you as you had, but still she kept glancing over at you any chance she got. And Ana had noticed instantly that you didn’t feel comfortable, everything about your posture and your expression had screamed that you wanted to leave. So she had made sure to rush and get you out of there as quickly as she could.

During the car ride home you kept up a constant stream of light chatter, hoping that it posed a good enough distraction for your companion. Now that she was so close, you didn’t dare to outright stare at her like you had done during the game, but with some quick glances now and then you ensured that Ana looked mostly calm, not really happy though.

At your apartment you had everything waiting for a cozy movie night. You ushered Ana to sit down and relax, while you whirled around the apartment getting everything ready. It didn’t take long since you had prepared what you could before leaving for the game.

Once you sat down and flicked on the TV, turning to the Swiss woman with a slightly forced smile, you noticed that something wasn’t right. Ana was chewing her lips nervously, tapping the tips of her fingers together in quick succession.

“Is everything okay?” You blurted out before you could stop yourself. “No wait, I’m sorry, forget that. Let’s just watch the movie, hopefully that will be a good distraction and if not, just tell me. Then we can try something else. Maybe play a game? Or just go to sleep?“

Ana sighed deeply, unhappiness etched on her usually so happy face. Anxiety began freezing your veins; you weren’t doing a good enough job at distracting her. You weren’t good enough.

“Look I know I said that stupid thing about preferring distractions once but I didn’t mean it. I just said it because…” Ana trailed off, looking very uncertain if she should continue.

“What?”

That was the only thing you could think of. The idea that all this time you hadn’t actually been giving the blonde what she craved most, felt like a stab through the middle of your heart. But even more so you wondered, if you hadn’t than why had she still been hanging out with you?

Apparently Ana decided that she did want to explain her reasoning some more. She took a deep breath before she continued talking.

“I only said it because I felt so bad complaining about my transfer to Atlético to you of all people. But I’ve regretted it almost every time we’ve hung out. Because I want to talk with you about it, I want to talk about everything with you. And most of all I want you to talk to me about your own unwanted transfer and how it makes you feel. But I felt weird pushing you to open up about it after I said I didn’t want to talk about mine.”

There was too much in Ana’s explanation that you didn’t know how to deal with, so you focused on the things that were easy for you, “You know you can always talk to me about anything. Please never feel bad about that, I’m always happy to listen! And don’t worry about me, I’m totally fine with my transfer. These things happen and it’s not like Real is a bad team or anything, so I can’t really complain.”

That was a flat out lie of course, you had been complaining a lot about your transfer and you definitely still had strong feelings about it, all of them bad. But Ana didn’t need to worry about that, not when she was struggling with her own club situation.

The Swiss woman scooted closer to you, putting a hand on your thigh. She looked at you seriously and you knew instantly that the Swiss woman didn’t believe a word you had just said.

“Don’t do that, please. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to feel bad after being dropped by your club, I know I do and my connection to Barcelona wasn’t even a deep as yours with Atléti.”

The softness of Ana’s voice combined with her words, words that you had been craving to hear for the longest time, brought tears to your eyes. You blinked furiously to get rid of them and quickly diverted your gaze, hopefully blocking the Swiss woman from seeing your watery eyes. Of course you had no such luck.

Ana closed the last few centimeters of distance between you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Still, you didn’t turn to meet her eyes. You were fine. The transfer didn’t bother you. At least not enough to cry about it to the Swiss woman.

“Maybe tonight we can just be sad together? I think we both need that,” Ana suggested, her voice quivering.

This made you look up. When you saw that the blonde’s own eyes were also filled with tears your resolve to be strong crumbled. If Ana needed this than you would give it to her. And if it just so happened to align with what you longed for as well that was just a lucky coincidence.

“Okay,” you mumbled and that was all Ana needed. She drew you against her, practically pulling you into her lap.

You held out a second longer but when you felt Ana’s body shaking from her sobs and heard her crying, you didn’t bother to hold yourself back any longer, letting your own tears fall.

And that’s how you stayed for a long time, the two of you falling apart in each other’s arms. You didn’t really talk about anything that night, simply relocating to your bedroom and falling asleep in each other‘s arms once all the tears had been shed.

That was a first for the two of you. At every sleepover before you had kept a careful distance, both of you sleeping on their designated side of the bed, but that night nothing was keeping you apart.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #ana maria crnogorcevic imagine #ana maria crnogorcevic x reader

[coochiequeens]

Because large-scale organising is “almost impossible” in China, women are turning to “all kinds of alternative ways to maintain feminism in their daily lives and even develop and transfer feminism to others,” she says. These may take the form of book clubs or exercise meet-ups. Some of her friends in China organise hikes. “They say that we are feminists, we are hiking together, so when we are hiking we talk about feminism.“ - Lü Pin

To find evidence that China’s feminist movement is gaining momentum – despite strict government censorship and repression – check bookshelves, nightstands and digital libraries. There, you might find a copy of one of Chizuko Ueno’s books. The 74-year-old Japanese feminist and author of Feminism from Scratch and Patriarchy and Capitalism has sold more than a million books in China, according to Beijing Open Book, which tracks sales. Of these, 200,000 were sold in January and February alone.

Ueno, a professor of sociology at the University of Tokyo, was little known outside in China outside academia until she delivered a 2019 matriculation speech at the university in which she railed against its sexist admissions policies, sexual “abuse” by male students against their female peers, and the pressure women felt to downplay their academic achievements.

The speech went viral in Japan, then China.

“Feminist thought does not insist that women should behave like men or the weak should become the powerful,” she said. “Rather, feminism asks that the weak be treated with dignity as they are.”

In the past two years, 11 of her books have been translated into simplified Chinese and four more will be published this year. In December, two of her books were among the top 20 foreign nonfiction bestsellers in China. While activism and protests have been stifled by the government, the rapid rise in Ueno’s popularity shows that women are still looking for ways to learn more about feminist thought, albeit at a private, individual level.

Talk to young Chinese academics, writers and podcasters about what women are reading and Ueno’s name often comes up. “We like-like her,” says Shiye Fu, the host of popular feminist podcast Stochastic Volatility.

“In China we need some sort of feminist role model to lead us and enable us to see how far women can go,” she says. “She taught us that as a woman, you have to fight every day, and to fight is to survive.”

When asked by the Guardian about her popularity in China, Ueno says her message resonates with this generation of Chinese women because, while they have grown up with adequate resources and been taught to believe they will have more opportunities, “patriarchy and sexism put the burden to be feminine on them as a wife and mother”.

Ueno, who found her voice during the student power movements of the 1960s, has long argued that marriage restricts women’s autonomy, something she learned watching her own parents. She described her father as “a complete sexist”. It’s stance that resonates with women in China, who are rebelling against the expectation that they take a husband.

Ueno’s most popular book, with 65,000 reviews on Douban, is simply titled Misogyny. One review reads: “It still takes a little courage to type this. I have always been shy about discussing gender issues in a Chinese environment, because if I am not careful, I will easily attract the label of … ‘feminist cancer’.”

“Now it’s a hard time,” says Lü Pin, a prominent Chinese feminist who now lives in the US. In 2015 she happened to be in New York when Chinese authorities arrested five of her peers – who were detained for 37 days and became known as the “Feminist Five” – and came to Lü’s apartment in Beijing. She narrowly avoided arrest. “Our movement is increasingly being regarded as illegal, even criminal, in China.”

China’s feminist movement has grown enormously in the past few years, especially among young women online, says Lü, where it was stoked by the #MeToo movements around the world and given oxygen on social media. “But that’s just part of the story,” she says. Feminism is also facing much stricter censorship – the word “feminism” is among those censored online, as is China’s #MeToo hashtag, #WoYeShi.

“When we already have so many people joining our community, the government regards that as a threat to its rule,” Lü says. “So the question is: what is the future of the movement?”

Because large-scale organising is “almost impossible” in China, women are turning to “all kinds of alternative ways to maintain feminism in their daily lives and even develop and transfer feminism to others,” she says. These may take the form of book clubs or exercise meet-ups. Some of her friends in China organise hikes. “They say that we are feminists, we are hiking together, so when we are hiking we talk about feminism.

“Nobody can change the micro level.”

‘The first step’

In 2001, when Lü was a journalist starting out on her journey into feminism, she founded a book club with a group of friends. She was struggling to find books on the subject, so she and her friends pooled their resources. “We were feminists, journalists, scholars, so we decided let’s organise a group and read, talk, discuss monthly,” she says. They met in people’s homes, or the park, or their offices. It lasted eight years and the members are still among her best friends.

Before the book club, “I felt lonely when I was pursuing feminism. So I need friends, I need a community. And that was the first community I had.” “I got friendship, I deepened my understanding of feminism,” Lü says. “It’s interesting, perhaps the first step of feminist movements is always literature in many countries, especially in China.”

Lü first read Ueno’s academic work as a young scholar, when few people in China knew her name. Ueno’s books are for people who are starting out on their pursuit of feminism, Lü says, and the author is good at explaining feminist issues in ways that are easy to understand.

Like many Ting Guo discovered Ueno after the Tokyo University speech. Guo, an assistant professor in the department of cultural and religious studies at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, still uses it in lectures.

Ueno’s popularity is part of a larger phenomenon, Guo says. “We cannot really directly describe what we want to say, using the word that we want to use, because of the censorship, because of the larger atmosphere. So people need to try to borrow words, mirror that experience in other social situations, in other political situations, in other contexts, in order to precisely describe their own experience, their own feelings and their own thoughts.”

There are so many people who are new to the feminist movement, says Lü, “and they are all looking for resources, but due to censorship, it’s so hard for Chinese scholars, for Chinese feminists, to publish their work.”

Ueno “is a foreigner, that is one of her advantages, and she also comes from [an] east Asian context”, which means that the patriarchal system she describes is similar to China’s. Lü says the reason books by Chinese feminists aren’t on bestseller lists is because of censorship.

Na Zhong, a novelist who translated Sally Rooney’s novels into simplified Chinese, feels that Chinese feminism is, at least when it comes to literature, gaining momentum. The biggest sign of this, both despite and because of censorship, is “the sheer number of women writers that are being translated into Chinese” – among whom Ueno is the “biggest star”.

“Young women are discovering their voices, and I’m really happy for my generation,” she says. “We’re just getting started.”

By Helen R Sullivan

This is the third story in a three-part series on feminism and literature in China.

#China #Japan #Chizuko Ueno #Books for women #Feminism from Scratch #Patriarchy and Capitalism #Misogyny #Feminist Five #Lü Pin #WoYeShi

[ultraviolethypno]

BRAIN SCRAMBLER MK. II

WARNING: HIGH-INTENSITY, FLASHING / STROBING, FORCED ORGASM, INDEFINITE SUGGESTION / PERMANENT EFFECTS (you will be left with a slight degree of obedience and feeling owned by me that feels perfectly natural, and you will feel an inclination towards watching it again any time you feel like being hypnotized, though you will be 100% aware these feelings were installed and i will happily remove them upon request)

CONTENT: after a high-octane spiral induction, you are made to feel incredibly horny, seething with lust, literally almost angry with your goonlove for my control. just as it was in the first brain scrambler, this debilitating arousal compels you to spread this visual/scenario around to your fellow hypnokinksters, and then message me with an incredibly lengthy and increasingly illegible love letter, before you are made to cum, shooting pure white-hot pleasure and relief throughout your entire body until all stress leaves you, all worries feel distant. you fall back into trance and are given suggestions to want to do this again and to naturally obey me, then you are woken up, fully yourself, fully satisfied.

this one's another long one! hope you read everything over before starting. click this link and ready for the ride of your life! click the read more when you're ready for the scene.

very good! very good of you to want more. see the spiral as you read my words. they merge, one hiding behind the other, becoming inseparable, one and the same. to read more is to obey. you agree. 

let your obedience to me change you. let my change scramble and warp you. let yourself be distorted and obedient to me forever. to read more is to obey. you agree.

your thoughts are changing. things are inverting. up is down, left is right, obedience is your choice, you cannot stop, to obey is to read more. i agree for you.

you are becoming horny. really horny. really REALLY horny. really REALLY FUCKING REALLY HORNY IT'S GETTING STRONGER you're drooling YOU DON'T CARE you want more AS MUCH AS YOU CAN GET you want to fuck me YOU WANT TO FUCK EVERYONE stupid HORNY controlled SEXTOY distorted PERVERTED scrambled MAD WITH LUST read this over and over READ IT 10 FUCKING TIMES

stupid brainless mindwiped thing, you want it all! you want uvie, you want to obey uvie, uvie made you feel this, you love feeling this. so you love uvie. you love love love lovey-dovey uvie. you want to thank uvie for doing this to you. you need to thank uvie for doing this to you. you dont know how to thank uvie. your brain is scrambled, so scrambled it's coming out from between your legs. but it's okay. uvie will tell you. to obey is to read more. you agree automatically.

here is what you are going to do to thank me.

0: you cannot cum until i say so.

1: reblog and like this post.

2: get hornier.

3: send it to anyone you know, who you know for sure will like it. if they ask, tell them you're doing it entirely of your own will. (you can ignore this one if you want!)

4: get even hornier, you stupid doll.

5: at the peak of your horniness, i want you to write an incredibly long horny love-letter DM to me. when you send the DM, you will cum incredibly hard, proportionate to how much you wrote. again, you cannot cum until you send the message, and it needs to be a long one.

6: CUM NOW IT FEELS SO GOOD IT'S THE HARDEST YOU'VE CUM ALL YEAR BREAK THE EDGE GOD YES IT FEELS SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOD

7: fall back into trance. continue reading.

there we go... down, down, down. down into a nice deep calm trance. eyes still locked on, obedience still your only thought, but calm. you did very good, my doll. you were very good for me. i'm very proud of you. it felt good, right? i'm very glad.

when i say the word Awaken, you will wake up and you'll be back to normal. fully in control, fully yourself, and likely fully soaked. but this was so much fun, you feel like you'll want to do it again. and you're still a little grateful to me for making you feel so good, you'll feel a small inclination to naturally obey me. these are very small parts of you, now. you know i put them in there, but they feel very good. if you don't want these inside your mind, simply say the words "stop" aloud and they will disappear.

ready to wake back up? good. have a great day.

Awaken.

#brainwashing #hypnosis #hypnokink #hypnotized #mind control #uv's visuals #flash warning #strobe #hypnoslut

[luthsthings]

Dude thank you so much for all the work you do compiling broken/updated mods and cc. And I'm sorry people can't just read the first page of the sims forum thread! Drives me bonkers, so I can't imagine how you feel

Thank you!

I'll be honest here: Simmers choosing to add mods to their game (and that includes CC, which are mods too) but not learning how to properly install and update them or how to use them across game updates, not reading instructions from creators, not taking them out when reporting problems on support forums or to Maxis but saying they did, and not reading available info before asking for support are a HUGE reason modders leave modding (or just stop publishing their mods and keep them only for their own use) and a HUGE reason support volunteers stop volunteering.

So I'm going to bounce off your kind post with some advice for other people.

If You Want to Use Gameplay Mods and Custom Content...

Learn how to use your Mods folder. Learn how to set your folder up with subfolders so that you can find the files you need to delete when you add new ones. Learn what has to go no more than one folder down so the game actually sees it. Something every college instructor quickly learns is that younger people have often never needed to learn about computer file structure before. Well, you have to.

Read creators' instructions. Creators' instruction will tell you crucial things like what a mod actually will and will NOT do, packs are needed for their mod, how your files need to be arranged in your Mods folder, what other creators' mods you need to run theirs, which files to install only one of, etc. Far too many people show up asking for help and the problem is they didn't read the instructions. Instructions are not optional.

Have a plan for something else to do after game updates. Sometimes your gameplay mods and custom content WILL BREAK because the part of the game they "talk" to changed. Have a "vanilla" save or a different game entirely to play while you wait. Develop a second hobby. Clean your kitchen. Call your mom. If you choose to use gameplay mods and CC, you are choosing that you will need to stop using them occasionally, one way or another.

Read AHQ support instructions and follow them. Reporting a game error at Maxis's AHQ? Read about testing for the error without your Mods folder, and supply all the requested info.

Read mod support instructions and follow them. Asking for help with mods/CC from Deaderpool or Sims After Dark or a creator? When you join, read the rules you agree to; they aren't there for fun. If you choose to use mods with unethical or illegal content, expect that you will NOT get support. Answer questions honestly. Upload the files requested, not just pictures of them. Be kind to creators and volunteers: there are very good reasons they're asking you what they are, and if they give up creating/volunteering, you're going to be on your own.

Read broken/updated mod support instructions and follow them. @scarlets-realm and I have very different structures and therefore different rules, but neither of us is going to stay willing to maintain our lists if we keep having to deal with Simmers who don't follow our rules, which we have set up, for one, to prevent false reports, which benefit nobody. I started my list because I was looking for info for myself and thought I might as well share it in a centralized way. If it becomes increasingly annoying, I'm happy to let Simmers go back to Hard Mode.

Don't ask "WHEN". You are not a preschooler anymore, and when you were and were asking "Are we there yet?," you were making it harder for your mom or dad to drive the car. Creators are not working on your schedule; you aren't their managers. Leave them alone so they can actually get to the destination.

Don't ask "What broke". The answer is already available to you. READ AND FOLLOW my Forums list (don't just pop in with a question). Please note that the Forums themselves have rules, and those MUST be followed there. READ AND SEARCH Scarlet's list. If you choose to use mods from creators who use a pirated/cracked game or packs, who paywall any of their creations permanently or longer than Maxis permits for their type of content, or who copy code without permission from other creators, you're going to be relying on the creators for support. Neither of us will support unethical creators by helping you use their stuff.

Get your news about what's broken and what isn't from the established lists, support servers, and the creators. A lot of Sims influencers on YouTube and Twitch use mods, but that doesn't mean they're a reliable source of info, unfortunately. Some are using outdated or broken mods and don't realize it. Some have been known to say that a mod is "broken" when what's broken is a game mechanic or when they think a mod is supposed to be doing something it's not.

You have a choice:

You don't HAVE to use gameplay mods or custom content. Many players don't, including all console players. If you CHOOSE to use them, learn how to do so the right way, and be a supportive part of the community so that you can keep using them.

#sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 mods #the sims 4 mods #ts4 mods #game support

[n0v4t33z]

The Syndicate - Chapter 8 : Complications & Whiskey

Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader

Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama

Word Count: 15.9k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), flirting, kissing (yk that cheesy stuff couples do) Mentions of San's past lover being not so cool. (Not edited properly, I'll come back to it when I can)

Nets: @newworldnet

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝

Author's Note 💌: Hi! It's been a while since I updated this story, unfortunately I had really bad burnout and kind of struggled writing this chapter. Luckily one of my readers reached out to me which really motivated me to finish this chapter. The beginning is a little bumpy but it gets better! Like always I hope whoever reads this enjoys this chapter and if you didn't keep it to yourself! Again, thank you for remaining patient! (It's 2 am and I'm tired but I still wanna post this rn because I need to get it off my hands asap so I can work on the next chapter) - N🌙

•································•································•

How did this happen? How did he get my number? Did he bug the hospital room somehow? Maybe Chris’ phone? Fuck. There was a long silence of me trying to process what just happened then Captain Lee continues “I was just calling to let you know you’re more than welcome to come back to the police force.” My blood runs cold causing me to slightly stutter “So how’d you get my number?” He chuckles which gives me a horrible case of my whole body feeling cold “Ah, don’t worry about it Detective I have my methods.”

I nervously laugh and my grip becomes increasingly tight on my phone while I carefully look around making sure no one was watching. Making sure "he" wasn't watching. “Ah well, I’ll think about it Captain but I was just hoping you keep my anonymity since Aurora Syndicate is currently out looking for me.” I’m hoping he doesn’t suspect anything “Oh yes, Detective Bang told me earlier and don’t get me wrong I’ll grant it for you but I’ll let you know that I’m also aware that you know I worked with The Obsidian Dragon. So naturally, if you tell anyone I’m afraid I’ll have to get rid of you. So to keep tabs on you, you’re coming back to the police force whether you like it or not.”

I put my hand on my forehead and push my bangs back and hold back tears “What do you mean Captain? Why am I being forced into this? This is why I disappeared, to distance myself from this. I can't go back.” Captain Lee clicks his tongue a few times and says “Well, I’m sure you do know investigating these Mob bosses will get you killed so you should know that once you step into the world of corruption and ghost money your only way out is death whether you’re involved or you’re investigating it.”

He isn’t wrong, every single word he’s saying is right. I got myself into this mess and now I’m stuck. The only words that manage to leave my mouth are “Okay then, when do I go back?” I’m going to regret this. I could hear the smile in his voice “Anytime you want, preferably on Monday but don’t worry you’ll be doing desk jobs until you’re cleared. or until I feel you're good to go” I silently nod then I say in a very hushed tone “Alright, see you then Captain Lee.”

I hang up and clench my phone in my hand trying to blink back tears. I can’t cry here. I wipe away the stray tears before I buy the groceries. Once I've paid for them I put my phone on factory reset and throw it away into a trash bin outside the grocery store and head back to the tattoo shop. This is not good, I'm worried as to how he got a hold of my phone number. I didn't even give it to Chris. I'm terrified he probably knows more than what he leads on.

 When I arrive to the hideout I notice everyone was still asleep so I stand in the dark kitchen and silently cry for a few minutes. I know everything will change after this. They’re all going to stop trusting me, not that they trusted me much anyway but what worries me the most is San. I might as well enjoy the calm before the storm.

Once I start cooking I notice Seonghwa sleepily rubbing his eyes and says “Hey, good morning no wonder I smelled sauteed meat and garlic, you’re in the kitchen.” I smile and nod “Yes, you’re spot on. I decided to cook for you guys since your cook isn’t here. I’m afraid it won’t be as good though.” Seonghwa raises his hand and shakes his head “Nah, it can’t can’t be worse than Hongjoong’s cooking. At least what you're cooking smells edible so I’m sure it'll taste just as good as it smells.”

He washes his hands and walks over to me “Need a hand?” I shake my head “Oh no you don’t have to, I was hoping you guys wouldn’t wake up until I was finished” He pats my head “Hm, I’ll help you. I’m awake so I might as well make myself useful” I giggle “Alright, please peel the potatoes?” He nods “Yes, ma’am” after we prepped and cooked everything I exhaustedly sit on the couch then I space out.

I want to tell Seonghwa but I’m scared he’s going to get upset. How do I tell him? Seonghwa soon follows and sits next to me and looks over at me waiting for me to say something. Worriedly he says “y/n? Are you okay?” I look over at him “Hm? Oh nothing I just have alot on my mind as of recently. A Lot has happened.” He nods “I agree, that attack from the feds hit us hard but don’t worry. Everything will fix itself eventually.”

I sigh and reach over to nudge Seonghwa’s arm “Hwa, I need to tell you something. I know I need to tell San right away but I’m scared.” He furrows his eyebrows and looks at me with a huge concern “Did something happen?” I hide my hands under my thighs “Captain Lee called me out of nowhere when I was grocery shopping this morning and he told me I have to go back to the police station again to keep tabs on me or else he says he’s going to take me out. I honestly have no idea how he even got a hold of my phone number, I had no choice but to say yes. I fucked up. I’m so sorry.”

I bite my lip to keep myself from bursting into tears while he silently stares at the ground for a moment then he cautiously looks back at me “No, no. This isn’t your fault, but you do have to tell San. This isn’t good at all. ” I nod  “You’re right, this can’t wait can’t it? I was going to wait until everyone finished eating. Forgive me please don’t tell anyone else about this I’ll tell San myself.” I get up trying my best not to start crying in front of Seonghwa. Before I even have the chance to walk away he stops me tugging on my hand so that I turn to face him. He looks up at me from his seat "Remember, everything is going to be okay even if it seems like there's no way out of it." I force a smile and nod "Right, thank you for being such an amazing friend Hwa." Seonghwa slowly lets go of my hand and nods. "Always." I'm grateful to have a friend as caring as Seonghwa, someone who will comfort me and reassure me when i'm in doubt. I just hope one day i'll be able to return the favor.

When I open the door to San’s room and slowly close the door behind me. I carefully sit down on his bed and gently shake him “San, I have something to tell you.” He quietly hums and sleepily turns to face me trying to blink away his sleepiness  “y/n? What’s wrong? Are you okay? You’re awake?” I shake my head trying to hold back tears. I’m so scared. He sits up and grabs my hand and gently kisses my knuckles “What’s wrong?” My lip slightly quivers “I have to tell you something. It’s something kind of serious.” He sits up and gently rubs the back of my hand with his thumb “Well, whenever you’re ready angel eyes.” I tighten my grip on his hand and put my other hand over his and take a deep breath then silently exhale “Well, Captain Lee called me and said I have to go back to the police station again or he’s going to kill me and whoever else knows about him working for The Obsidian Dragon and that he was the true reason why The Phantom died.”

San stays silent for a few seconds then in a low tone he responds “Why?” I stare at his hand then I look over at his body language and I could feel how angry he is right now which is what scares me the most because I know how impulsive he is. As much as I don’t want to look at how angry he is I look up at him meeting his eyes “He wants to keep tabs on me.” He lets out a long sigh and gently kisses my forehead “I promise you’ll be safe.” I look into his hypnotizing dark brown eyes “So you’re not mad at me?” His demeanor quickly changes and gives me his cute dimpled smile “Hey, why would I be? This isn’t your fault at all.” Part of me felt like it was, I feel like a burden now that I know Captain Lee is unknowingly threatening San with me.

“I don’t know, I just feel like somehow it was my fault because I told Chris about Captain Lee being corrupt. Despite that I know deep in my heart that Chris would never say anything.” San’s smile disappears and raises his eyebrow “Are you sure? How do you know it wasn’t him?” I bite the inside of my lip second guessing my previous statement now because of his serious demeanor. “Well, because I know him and he always keeps his word no matter what. That includes secrets. He'd never put me in harm’s way, he’s always protected me so it can’t be him.” He lets out a quiet sigh “Babe he’s a cop what do you expect? He’s going to open his mouth if it benefits him. Especially now since you no longer work at the police station that lead is probably a huge opportunity for a promotion.” I shake my head “No, he’d never do that especially not if it ended up hurting someone.”

He looks at me with a straight face almost like what I was saying is a bunch of nonsense  “I’m sorry, I love you but I don’t trust that partner of yours.” I frustratedly put my hands on my forehead “Hear me out, when I told Chris I specifically told him to ask Captain Lee not to release the news of me being alive and to grant me anonymity. Which yes, Captain Lee acknowledged and said he’d agree too if I went back to the station but another thing I told Chris was that Aurora Syndicate was after me and that I needed my anonymity because of that. Captain Lee didn’t know that and he never once mentioned it until I said something about it so if Chris did tell him he would have known that and would have mentioned it first.”

San's eyes slightly narrow “But what if he didn’t mention it on purpose? He’s a cop so he’s great at being able to convince someone with words by conveniently leaving things out.” Okay, as a cop this is embarrassing how I’m forgetting my own methods now. I sigh and lay back onto the bed “Ok you know what?" I frustratedly run my fingers through my hair. "Fine who cares how he found out, the problem is that he found out and now I’m fucking scared to go back knowing I’m only there because he’s going to wait until I fuck up so he could kill me. Even then I still don't want to lose you either.” A big knot grows in my throat, feeling the tears begin to sting my eyes “This is why I'm telling you, because I need your help. I don’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to leave without a word and leave you wondering whether I’m okay or not.”

San lays next to me and wipes the tears away then gently pulls me close to him “You won’t be alone I promise, Seonghwa will be my eyes. I have a plan but that will be all up to you if you want to do this.” I nod “Of course, anything.” He smiles and kisses my forehead “Good girl, the plan is you will be my informant on what the police department is up to regarding Aurora Syndicate. Of course you’ll be under observation so evreytime you do have Information I’ll have Seonghwa send over the information via burner phone and dispose of it after each use to lower the chance of us getting caught.” San gives me the most gentle gaze and gently kisses the side of my head “This is going to end soon I promise, even if you’ll be someone else’s temporarily.”

I furrow my eyebrows and give him a confused stare “Uh what?” He smirks and lifts up my chin “You’ll have to pretend you and Seonghwa are in a relationship because he’s going to be living with you, even though it pains me. I have no choice at this point than to fool Lee for a little while longer while we gather up a plan.” What is this? Again with the fake boyfriend? I look up in disappointment while massaging my temples lightly “Really? How can you be so comfortable sharing me with another man like that? Can't we just be roommates or something?” He shrugs “The thing is if he's not related to you in anyway at all people will start looking into him a lot more, your supposed relationship to him might be a good distraction for them and much more convincing.”

He's really trying to sell me this, it's not a horrible idea but I don't know.. Kind of awkward after what happened between me and Seonghwa last night. “Besides when you went to your funeral with him and he brought you back home safely didn’t he?” I roll my eyes and jokingly retort “Yeah, what if I fall in love with him? Then what?” He smiles and takes my face in his hand “Hm, well then I’ll try to win you back no matter how many times it takes because like I said in the end you and I both know you’re mine. I know my place in your heart and you know mine, we are one. So, no. I’m not worried I'll lose you to him because I know it’s not going to happen. You’ll always be mine in one way or another.” Never have I seen a man so sure about how he feels towards me. How... Nice.

“You really feel that way?” I ask while I gently run my hand along his white t shirt clad chest. “I mean, do you? Because, I do.” he chuckles and raises an eyebrow giving me a dimpled smirk while I try to keep myself composed and nod “Of course I do.” he pulls me in a little closer and kisses me while he gently tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “No one will hurt you.” I poke his small dimple “I know, I believe you. I’ve seen what you can do.” San smirks devilishly hovering his lips over mine “I can do that and much more, just for you.” I giggle and clear the few stray pieces of hair from his face. His cat like eyes making me dizzy, for a second I forget how lost in his gaze I am until he leans in and kisses my forehead "My angel."

In response I rest my forehead on his shoulder and sigh "I'm tired of all of this San. I want this to stop." He gently presses his lips on the top of my head whilst he holds me close "I know you do baby. I want it to stop too, I want to be happy with you. Soon, okay?" Feeling a tinge of guilt, I bite my lip trying my hardest not to cry despite the huge uncomfortable knot in my throat.

San rolls onto his back and pulls me onto his chest "Let's lay here for a bit." I look up at him "So that's it?" San raises his eyebrow and hums "What do you mean? Was I supposed to say something else?" I shrug "I don't know, you don't seem shaken up over Lee's threat towards me." San runs his fingers through my hair "Well, how do you know I'm not scared?" He's right, maybe he's trying to keep me from freaking out. "Well, for one we moved on from this conversation way too quickly." He quietly stares up at the ceiling for a few moments his fingers now gently massaging my scalp until he finally speaks again. "Hm, well I am scared. I'm also angry and bloodthirsty, but I can't show you that part of myself. I don't want to scare you, I don't want to fuel your brain with ideas of me that might make you not trust me at all."

Okay so I guess I was right, he knows he still scares me to some degree despite loving him so much. I hate how conflicting this is. "I see, so you're trying to spare me from freaking out then?" He smiles gently booping my nose "You got it." I rest my head on his chest and sigh.I hate how my "fake" death ended up becoming pointless, and unfortunately it's probably something Captain Lee will end up blackmailing me with. I thought I was going to catch him by surprise but no, now I'm hoping I can find a way for Captain Lee to get blindsided while still under his observation.

I look up and notice San staring up at the ceiling again then I bury my face in the crook of his neck holding onto him tightly. He turns to me and gently plants a kiss on my temple then rests his head onto mine. “I really am going to miss you.” I lace his fingers between mine “I am too honestly. I wish we could stay like this forever.” Letting him go now seems like a crime, why is it that he terrifies me but yet makes me so happy? “I got so used to having you at my side for so long that I forgot what it felt like to not feel so- I don’t know, alone?” I giggle “That’s a nice way of putting it because I feel the same way.” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and shows me his dimpled smile “Yeah?” My ears get hot and I bury my face in his chest causing him to quietly laugh “I swear you’re so cute when you get shy. I’ll miss that too.” I peek and look up at him “Hey, don’t be sad. I did a surprise for you and the guys this morning but I think maybe the food has gotten cold by now.” HIs eyes light up “Wait, wow. I get to try your food?” I nod and awkwardly smile “Yeah but if you don’t like it it’s okay. I honestly hate my cooking but my family strangely seemed to love it so I just wanted to cook for you guys because I trust my family’s opinion on it despite personally not really being a fan of what I make.”

San gives me a dimpled smile “I’m sure it’s delicious angel eyes, I know I’m going to love it so don’t worry. Also, I think we should go eat. I’m sure after everything this morning you’re probably really hungry.” He smirks and winks at me causing me to cover my eyes. Why is he always making my heart feel like it's going to jump out of my throat? “Stop it. Stop doing that thing with your face again!” He removes my hand from my face and chuckles "Wait, what's wrong with my face?" I shyly look in the other direction avoiding eye contact while my voice slowly trails "Um, nothing. You just.." San turns my face back in his direction "You what?" Stunned, I simply blink back in response until he chuckles and pulls me into a chaste kiss. Once he pulls away he gently runs his thumb along my bottom lip and for a few moments I recalibrate my brain until I finally respond "You're handsome...That's what I wanted to say." San hums and pulls my hand up to his lips gently pressing it onto his lips. "So sweet aren't we baby?"

When we walk to the kitchen we notice most of the guys were in the living room except Hongjoong, Jongho and Wooyoung who were in their respective rooms. I look over at San awkwardly knowing full well that some of them aren't too keen on me. I clear my throat trying to lightly bring their attention “So uh, is anyone hungry?” Yunho looks up from the game he’s playing “Hm? There’s food?” I nod “Yeah, I woke up early this morning to make it mostly because I couldn’t go back to sleep. Do you mind getting the others? I’ll bring Wooyoung’s breakfast later when he’s woken up.”

Yunho nods and walks over to go fetch the 2 others while everyone else takes their seat at the table meanwhile Seonghwa and I set the table while evreyone talks amongst themselves waiting for the others to come. Eventually Jongho, Hongjoong and Yunho sit down at the table with the only person missing being Wooyoung. Seeing everyone here except Wooyoung felt odd considering he was always very much present in the conversations but now that he wasn’t here the table was more at peace or so we thought. Seonghwa looks over at me and San “So uh, why are we here all together?”

San laces his fingers together “Well, something happened this morning.” Hongjoong narrows his eyes "The feds know where we are?" Jongho glances at San "Did they?" San shakes his head then pushes his glasses up "No. Captain Lee contacted y/n about going back to the police station. Of course he knows she’s alive now but blatantly threatened her to come back to the police force because he knows that she knows about his involvement with The Black Obsidian. He says he wants her working there to keep tabs on her which comes to my next statement. We’re starting a very important assignment regarding this issue. Of course the person who’s going to actually be joining y/n will be Seonghwa.”

Everyone is silent then Mingi slowly raises his hand “So it’s just him? What are we supposed to do then?” San nods “yeah, the reason why he’s going is because he’s the only one that that has no file under his name in the NIS data base” Hongjoong looks at San “Neither does Yeosang though.” San looks over at Hongjoong and smirks “That’s the thing, I’m sure Yeosang is not going to want to pretend he’s y/n’s lover. I also know y/n is definitely not comfortable with him either.” Yunho looks over at Seonghwa whose ears were a bright pink hue then back at San “Wait so are you saying Seonghwa is going to go with y/n and pretend he’s her boyfriend? Why though? Is it to keep an eye on her?” San nods then Seonghwa uncomfortably shifts in his seat “Yep, Seonghwa is also going to be the one communicating to us what’s going on at the station since I’m sure y/n won’t even have the chance to since she’ll be under a microscope with Lee.” 

Yeosang frowns “So what does that have to do with us? Isn’t it just going to be a mission just for them?” San takes a sip of his warm tea and continues “No, it’ll involve you guys as well but that means you’ll have to lay low. Some will be tailing Lee and other officials working for him that includes y/n’s partner Detective Chris Bang, some of you will also be keeping watch the security cameras at the police station and the cameras near and around where y/n will reside in case anyone is sent by Captain Lee.” Everyone stays silent for a while then Jongho says “Wooyung isn’t part of any of this right? He’s still recovering from that punctured lung.” San bites the inside of his cheek “Yeah, he’s not. I just want him to get better and that means he can’t strain himself so please no one speak to him about this. Obviously I don’t know how long this will take but until he gets better please don’t say anything you all know how he is.” Hongjoong cocks an eyebrow “What about when he asks about y/n? You know how he is with his questions.” Yeosang then says “Just tell him she voluntarily left on her own because Lee found out she was alive.”

San leans back onto his chair “There’s your answer, with Seonghwa just say he went on an assignment abroad. Everyone understand? ” Everyone agrees and say in an untimed unison “Yes boss.” Meanwhile Seonghwa silently stares at the table then he looks at San “So you trust me enough let me pass off as y/n’s lover?” I look over at Seonghwa and can tell he’s probably not comfortable going through with this. San gives him a smile clearly showing him how much he trusts him “Of course, you’ve taken such great care of her when I wasn’t able to. Besides this is all fake anyway.” He understandably nods and says “Alright, I’ll do my best to make you proud again.” Seonghwa catches me staring at him and gives me a sweet smile “I promise I won’t let anything to happen to you.” I nod and try to act as nonchalant as I can “Thank you, I appreciate it.” Meanwhile San pats my head and says “Alright everyone can resume eating now, I heard y/n cooked this for us so let’s not leave anything on our plates.”

Everyone begins to eat and after a few moments I notice a few of the guys nodding in approval. Yeosang then looks over at me and says “Thank you for the food y/n.” Shocked he even complimented me I vigorously nod “Thank you so much but it wasn’t just me, Seonghwa helped me as well. I’m sure if he didn’t help the food wouldn’t have been as good as it was.” Could it be that a way to get to a cold man's heart is food? It's starting to ring true now. Seonghwa chuckles “I only peeled the potatoes and made the rice, it was all you y/n.” With his cheeks stuffed with food mid chew Mingi says “You’d honestly make a great wife, your cooking is immaculate and reminds me of my mother’s” San gives Mingi a stare and I nervously laugh “I’m sure your mother’s cooking is way more delicious Mingi” Jongho gives me a comforting smile “Honestly your cooking is amazing, even if you don’t feel that way. I’m saying that because these guys are so picky that the in house chef we had back at HQ quit after about a month of being there.”

I cover my mouth trying to cover up the big smile on my face then I say “Well, I guess I’m lucky to have such picky eaters like my food.” San puts his hand on my thigh and gently squeezes “See? Don’t forget to give yourself some credit sometimes.” I give him a small smile and nod then I look in the direction of the rest of the table “I know this is random but I just wanted to let you guys know I won’t be outing any information regarding the Syndicate if that’s what some of you are worried about, I’ll take that to the grave.” Jongho sets down his coffee mug onto the table “Don’t worry, I trust you. I’m sure the others do as well to an extent they just don’t want to admit it but I believe you y/n.” Yunho and Seonghwa both nod then Yunho responds while looking directly at Yeosang and Hongjoong “Even then for the ones who still don’t trust you they’ll see you’re not a bad person and you’re worth trusting.” Hongjoong tilts his head “You must be talking about Yeosang and not me. If I didn’t trust y/n I wouldn’t have let her touch a computer and much less suggest to San to let her have her own.”

My lips slightly part looking at the table then I look back and notice Hongjoong’s usual annoyed look replaced with one of a small smile “But also how could I not trust someone who likes Spongebob?” I giggle then I turn to Yunho “He’s right, he’s actually been very nice to me so no worries about that.” He continues looking in Yeosang’s direction “I’m glad to hear, although I was mostly referring to Yeosang here considering how many rude and tasteless things he’s said to you and that doesn’t even include the things he’s said while Wooyoung instigated.” I shake my head “Ah, no that’s okay don’t worry. I respect his reasons.”

He silently nods for a few seconds as if he was unconsciously doing it to calm himself down “You’ll see she’s not a horrible person, and when Wooyoung comes back he’s going to see for himself too.” Yeosang sits there staring at Yunho for a few seconds then stands up silently and walks to his room leaving everyone in shock. Why do I always cause these things, if someone isn’t getting upset over something I did someone else is getting upset over something someone did to me. I wish this wasn’t the case, it only comes off that I’m the one causing problems.

San glances at Yeosang’s empty seat then back at me “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine he just can’t stand being wrong.” I silently nod then San smiles and says “Everyone is dismissed for now, we’ll talk about everything in detail later…” A few moments later San’s cellphone rings and hurriedly gets up and says “I’ll be back, I’ve got to take this call..” Eventually evreyone finishes eating but San never comes back so once everyone leaves, I stay behind to clean the dishes while Seonghwa clears the table. He silently walks over to me holding a few plates gently setting them down onto the sink and walks back to the table to retrieve more. He’s awfully quiet.

Should I say something? I stare down at the bubbly water in the sink until I finally speak “Why’d you stay? I would have cleaned up, it’s fine.” Without turning in his direction I could hear the slight clinking of the glasses as he steps in my direction again. “I wanted to, besides it didn’t sit right for me not to clean up after myself.” I dryly laugh “You mean after your friends?”  I turn to Seonghwa who walks up next to me and sets down the glasses next to the sink and gives me a smirk “Exactly, you need my help. Scoot over.” I roll my eyes and scoot over, giving Seonghwa room to stand next to me and begin to dry off the plates I've already washed. For a while he and I clean together in silence until unexpectedly I hear “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting the call to be this long but something came up.” Both Seonghwa and I turn to San and he continues “I know this is very short notice but do you mind coming to something with me tomorrow night angel eyes?” I glance at Seonghwa who looked just as confused as I then back at San who was standing at the entrance of the kitchen waiting for a response “Aren’t we supposed to lay low?”

I ask slightly unsure, San gives me a reassuring smile “We’ll be okay. I just wanted you to meet my mother and sister, you know since Seonghwa here knows them I think it’s a good idea you meet them as well. I’m almost positive you three will get along.” I can’t meet his family, what if they don’t like me and they send for me to get killed? Especially if they find out I’m a former cop. Seonghwa glances at me slightly concerned “What if she just stays home and rests? She’s been through alot these past days.” San lets out a sigh and pats Seonghwa's back turning his attention back to himself. “Jongho, you, and the rest are coming so we’ll be fine. Besides, if she doesn’t want to go she's more than welcome to stay home.” Well, I guess I have a social affair to attend to now. At least now I'll get to do a little familiarization with San's family.

"I'll go..I don't mind sounds fun. I'm kind of tired of being couped up." San gives me a small smile "There you go, you heard the lady. She's going." Seonghwa quietly washes a glass under the warm running water while I dry off my hands on the hand towel next to the sink “What exactly is this thing we’re going to?” San walks over to me holding back a big smile “It’s my sister’s birthday” He gently rests his hand on my uninjured shoulder “I wanted you to join us. I know you’re supposed to be resting right now but Jongho will be there, so I promise you’ll be okay. Besides I figured you'd like to know who works for us and how deep our business runs. ” I slowly nod “Okay sure, but what am I supposed to wear? I didn't bring anything with me, much less anything that covers up what happened on my shoulder..”

San shakes his head “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of everything.” He glances over at Seonghwa and says “Make sure my mother doesn’t find out about the specifics with the police, I don’t want her to worry. There’s also a small job I need you to do for me. Mingi will be joining you.” Seonghwa nods obediently “Noted, but what happens if she asks why Wooyoung isn’t there? She knows he’d never miss anything like this..” San stares off into the distance for a moment “He had a family emergency and he wasn’t available.” San seemed to have become a bit haste to which Seonghwa seemed to pick up on and responds “Oh, okay that seems plausible.” San motions him in the direction of the living room “Mingi’s waiting.” Seonghwa sets down the dishes, wipes his hands dry on the hand towel next to the sink and excuses himself.

I notice there’s this weird tension between them but I can’t put my finger on why they feel that way towards each other or if it’s mutual. “You remember Nari? She’s coming over to get you ready for tomorrow.” Oh, it’s the same woman that did my hair and got me dolled up for my funeral. I guess it makes sense, she’ll probably know what the family approves of. “Sounds nice, she was nice..” I look down at the ground not wanting to meet his eyes. San gently turns my face in his direction with his eyebrows softly furrowed “What’s wrong angel eyes? Are you okay?” I sigh and lean into his touch “I’m scared. What if they hate me?” San gently caresses my cheek with his thumb “Babe, I promise they won’t hate you. I’ll just tell them you’re not involved in the business so they won’t ask you any questions over who you're affiliated with and who you work for.” Wait, does that mean he’s going to tell his mom about us? “Wait, why would you tell your mom that? Are you going to tell her about us?”

He nods and takes both my hands gently bringing them up to his lips “Of course, but I’m still going to tell her not to speak on it to anyone and to pretend you and I are simply colleagues in the eyes of others but she’ll know.” San lies alot, which worries me. If he easily lies over the smallest things like this does that mean he’ll easily lie to me? “You’re lying again.” He dryly laughs and pulls me closer to him “My mother won’t speak I promise, if she was able to keep my dad’s deepest darkest secrets I’m sure she can keep our relationship a secret. I felt like it’s something we should do before you’re gone, I want at least someone to know about us..” if only he knew that someone does know, just not who he thinks it is. He leans in and gives me a quick peck making sure no one was around then gently pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear “You trust me right?” Stupidly enough, like always my brain decides to completely betray me and respond without thinking “I do.” He gently kisses my forehead and softly says in a low voice “My beautiful angel.” Everytime he calls me that it makes me melt, and I think he knows that.

“I’m going to give you a more dramatic look today, obviously still within the likes of Mrs. Choi” Nari gently works in some sort of eye primer on my eyes using a soft brush and begins to work on my eye makeup. After a few minutes of her working her magic I have a sudden urge to ask her a question “Nari, I have a question..” She softly hums and I clasp my hands together  “Do you know Mrs. Choi and San’s sister?” I concentrate on the gentle brush strokes to calm me down for some reason slightly afraid of her answers “I do, they’re very sweet. I work with them quite often actually. I just saw them this morning.” I quietly hum then Nari continues “How come? Are you worried about something?” I let out a soft sigh “Well, I’m scared they might not like me. I heard what the mother did to one of San’s exes and ordered for her assassination.”

The older woman clicks her tongue “Well, do you know what happened?” What happened? What does she mean? Does she mean that woman did something to upset San’s mother? “Uh, I mean no. Not really that’s honestly all I could dig up, besides San’s never mentioned any of his exes so I genuinely don’t know the full situation” Nari pops her gum followed by the smile in her voice “I can tell you, I’ve been working for the Choi family for years…” I softly gasp and open my eyes “Wait, for how long?” Nari gives me a soft smile “ I was hired personally by Mrs. Choi ten years ago, ever since then I’ve been doing her and her daughter’s makeup for public events..”

Nari gently has me close my eyes again and continues “Anyway, as you know her name was Hae Jihye she and San dated for a few years. I believe it was about 5 or so years but they eventually became engaged, both were pretty young but since the Choi family was so well off Mrs. Choi encouraged them to get married. She was very fond of Jihye up until San found out she was secretly seeing another man and stealing money from him and ordering shady dealings without double checking these were allies and not possible undercover cops. Up until her death she always said it was because San never gave her attention and because she felt lonely but everyone close to the Choi’s know he treated her like his princess. He would have brought her the moon if she so wanted, he gave her everything. Open.”

I open my eyes and see Nari begins to fill in my eyebrows and continues “Anyway, it so just happened the real reason was that she thought San was a huge pushover and was only planning on marrying him for his money and the Choi’s heavy influence. She wanted to be someone important since she came from a poor background.” Poor San, he gave his heart to this woman and she stomped all over it… “So when Mrs. Choi caught wind of it thanks to San’s best friend Wooyoung she began to conspire against Jihye. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..” Nari smooths out some sort of face primer on my skin, her hands being gentle against my skin then quickly begins to work on my base “She got Kang Yeosang, one of San’s associates to carry out the assasination and right as she was exiting the beauty salon she was shot and killed. Just to add insult to injury Mrs. Choi sent the hand of Jihye’s secret lover to her grieving family along with a note that read “Hope you enjoy this small gift!” and that was that. ”

I look at Nari giving her a very unnerved expression “Wow that's…heavy.” Nari nods while gently powdering my face “So lesson of the story is don't be an opportunist and Mrs. Choi will be kind.”  I know Nari and San said Mrs. Choi is nice but I can't keep myself from thinking she's going to find something she doesn't like. What a great time to overthink. “Actually, San doesn't want to tell her about me being a cop..” Nari begins to gently apply my lipstick with small gentle strokes “Sweetheart I think you should just be honest, I mean you've been all over the news recently. I'm sure Mrs. Choi knows exactly who you are.” Oh my gosh how could I forget about that?! She's right, it's going to be a horrible look if I lie to her right from the start.

“I should let San know, you know like about me not wanting to lie to his mom not what happened with Jihye. I'll definitely never mention her ever.” Nari then raises her eyebrows “So, are you going to tell his mom you two are thing?” Her question catching me off guard I almost choke on my own saliva causing me to swallow quite hard. For a moment, I struggle how to answer until I finally but hesitantly respond “Well honestly, I think it’s a bad idea that I tell her we’re together especially if she knows I'm a cop. Despite how nice she is, she has too much history between my previous boss and her family, not the good kind either. Knowing she’s willing to kill I think I’m going to steer clear from her radar as cowardly as it seems.” Nari rests her hand on her hip “So, what do you plan to do?” I sigh “Well, continue to keep it a secret.”

Nari furrows her eyebrows and crosses her arms in front of her chest “But for how much longer? You know, Mrs. Choi isn’t getting any younger and eventually she’s going to ask San to marry again. You do understand right?” She’s right, Mrs. Choi is definitely going to ask San to marry only it makes sense for him to marry of someone of his status and the same lifestyle as his. As much as I love and I’m in love with him, we’re too different to be in each other's life in the long run and only confirms what I've been thinking this whole time which is to just enjoy it while it lasts. “I do, which is why I'm going to backtrack telling her about our relationship but not who I am. That I can't lie about, as scary as It is.” gives me a soft smile “Well, it's settled.. Also, we should get started on your hair. Your dress should be arriving sometime soon!” I nod and let out a nervous sigh. I have to brace myself for everything. I will try my best to look like a good person.

Later after Nari is done with my hair, makeup and dressing me I look in the mirror and honestly just like the first time I'm not disappointed in what I’m seeing just a little weirded out that I can look this good. My hair was loosely curled, like those gorgeous movie stars on tv, the makeup was light (For my taste at least) so that it complimented my features. Meanwhile the dress that was picked out for me was a satin strapless asymmetric neckline dress with a high slit on the right side of the dress luckily it was a long dress so it covered my legs really nicely and it wasn’t as showy as I thought it’d be considering how high the slit is. Finally to cover up my wound Nari carefully drapes a gorgeous white fur wrap over my shoulders. Nari steps behind me and hands me a black pair of designer high heels. It’s those shoes that movie stars wear, the ones with the red soles. I let out a gasp and carefully take the shoes as if they were made of glass “Nari, are you sure?” Nari smirks “Of course I’m sure, you’re wearing vintage Mugler.. You can’t just wear any old pair of shoes.” I give her a nervous smile and carefully put on my black high heeled shoes. Nari then steps back and gives me a proud smile “You look amazing y/n, I hope you feel as pretty as you look. “ I smooth out the soft fabric beneath my fingers and nod “I do, thank you for everything..” The older woman smiles and shakes her head “Thank San, he asked me to do this for you.”

Of course he did, this man is all about the details. Now it was about that time I look for San so that I could talk to him about what to say to his mother. Right after exiting my room I'm soon greeted by a dressed up Jongho who’s jaw immediately drops “Wow, you look amazing y/n. I uh- San is waiting up front, he asked me to guide you into the car.” I give Jongho a smile and tease him “You might want to pick your jaw up from the floor or a fly will go in there.” Jongho chuckles and leads the way while I silently walk behind him. Awkwardly enough I had to walk into that tattoo shop dressed like this but unlike before all eyes were on me which made me alot more nervous so I gently hold onto Jongho’s arm so that I wouldn’t risk embarrassing myself in case I trip over my dress. Once outside I realize it was beginning to get dark out that’s when Jongho opens the door to the expensive looking car and lo and behold San was there.

His hair was now cut shorter than before with a small strand of hair framing his face, whilst he wore a white dress shirt with a few buttons undone and a buttoned up black vest, a back blazer, with matching slacks and shoes. He looked so immaculate and perfect, that In the moment I think I almost forgot why I was even there to begin with until San gently grabs my hand and gently tugs on it. I blink a few times and it’s like I rebooted remembering where and why I was there. San gives me a small dimpled smile and I get into the car sitting next to him. His cologne slowly bringing me back to reality “You look gorgeous angel eyes.” I glance over at him, his eyes looking at me like he was devouring me with his gaze which was making me painfully shy, that is until I remember I needed to tell him something. San gently reaches for my exposed thigh and gently squeezes causing my ears to begin to burn and I mindlessly respond “And you look handsome Sannie..”

San leans in and gently kisses me whilst his hand squeezes my thigh a little harder leaving me to let out a soft sigh whilst he deepens the kiss. I only allow myself to indulge in the kiss for a few more seconds until I gently pull away while gently pushing him away. He gives me a confused look then furrows his brows “Angel eyes are you okay?” I nod and gently smooth out my dress “Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about something before we arrive at your sister’s party.” He gently takes my hand and nods “Sure, what is it?” I glance over at San whose eyes were soft again, a complete one eighty from a few seconds ago “We should just tell your mom that I’m a cop, you know it’ll be much easier than lying” San looks at me slightly worried and looks down gently rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand “Um, I don’t know about that..” I tilt my head “How come? Is it because I’m going back to the station next week? You know she’s probably seen the news..”

San lets out a sigh and stares down at my hand for a few moments before he briefly glances back up at me me then says in a lower almost worried tone “That’s why, because I’m sure she’ll like you but once she realizes you’re a cop she’s going to bombard you with questions..Assumptions.” I reach over and take San’s handsome face in my hands gently caressing his soft skin “And that’s okay, it’s valid on her part considering the previous history between cops and your family. I understand.” He gently takes my hand in his lovingly squeezing it “Are you positive you’re going to be okay with the questions?” I nod giving him a reassuring smile “Of course Sannie, let’s just be honest for once. This is something so important to me that I want to be honest out of respect to your mother and our relationship, please. Just this once I don’t want to lie about something I can’t hide. I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not even if your mother ends up hating me for it, it’s the risk i’m willing to take.”

San gives me a dimpled smile, takes my hands from his face and gently kisses them “You really do have a heart of gold angel eyes.. No matter how hard things get your intentions are always well intentioned.” I look down and press my lips into a curt smile “One more thing.” San gently turns my face to face him "What’s that?” Not wanting to meet his eyes I look down at the collar of his shirt “I thought about it and I don’t want your mother to find out about us.” San gives me a confused look “Wait- but..” I nod “I know, I just said that I didn’t want us to lie but I was talking about things I can’t hide.. Besides we’re technically not lying if you just don’t mention it.” slightly upset San takes my arm and tightly squeezes it but only enough to get my attention “But you agreed with me yesterday, why the sudden change of mind?” I shrug “I don’t know I just did a lot of thinking and it doesn’t make sense to come clean right now, it’s too soon.”

San lifts up my chin to meet his eyes while holding on to my arm, they were sad with a hint of anger. He looked genuinely hurt, but now it’s complicated. I need to see how his mom will react to the news of me being a cop, then I’ll know my answer. I need to tread lightly with this family because I truly don’t know their intentions. For all I know this is all a part of San’s plan to get me to trust him then get me killed once I do. Even then I doubt San will hold on much longer, Nari is right his mom is probably looking for someone he could marry right this moment which is why he wants to tell his mother. “As much as I strongly feel the complete opposite, I'll respect your wishes. I understand you’re nervous.” I sigh “I’m sorry but can you blame me? Any regular person would be terrified considering how powerful your family is. I don’t want to fuck up.”

San loosens his grip on my arm “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to do all these things so fast. It’s just-” He shuts his eyes and rests his head on my shoulder and lets out a long sigh “It’s my mom, she’s been looking into having me marry the Iceman’s daughter, Jisu.” I furrow my eyebrows “Why?..” He stares down at himself gently squeezing and holding onto my forearm “Business.. And because she’s close friends with Iceman’s wife.” Wow, yeah. I think involving myself even more will be a death sentence. What if she has me killed because she wants San to marry into her friend’s family? “Ah, I see.” I stiffly nod. I knew it, his mom already has eyes for someone. San raises his gaze and looks at me with concern painting his features “You’re upset aren’t you?” I shake my head and fake a laugh “No, I mean I saw it coming. I understand.”

San gives me a very unamused look  then the driver driving our vehicle clears his throat and says  “Sorry for the interruption boss, but we’re here.” San nods slightly detached still fixated on my expression “Yeah, okay. Thanks Woosik.” I feel horrible pissing him off but I think this is it. I’m so cowardly. Almost as if a switch went off he gently takes my hand and kisses the back of it “I’ll introduce you as a colleague okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable let alone feel like i’m forcing you to do things you don’t want to..” I nod and lean in to gently kiss his cheek then I give him a soft smile “Thank you..”

San’s expression brightens up a bit and gives me a small dimpled smile “Are you ready angel?” I nod and he gives me a sweet smile. Next to me the door opens and a very well dressed man helps me out of the car and soon after San steps out right behind me. He then gently rests his hand on the small of my waist and gently guides me to the big mansion, that house.. It’s huge. The Choi family is loaded. It’s everything you would have imagined in a mansion: the fountain, the gates, the two sculptures near the entrance, the beautiful decorative trees adorning the front of the house.

The times I’ve been to houses like this is usually when we’re going to arrest someone or when we’re investigating the murder of a high profile person which isn’t very often so to see this gorgeous house and being dressed in designer from head to toe, it makes me feel like I'm in some sort of movie. Once we’re inside the faint sound of classical music fills the air along with the high class ambience immediately making me straighten up my posture. All the people here look expensive, it also kind of freaks me out knowing that 90 percent of the people here are more than likely white collar criminals. I look over in San’s direction slightly worried only for him to give me a small reassuring smile. ”Follow me.” I grab onto the sleeve of his blazer following behind him quietly whilst he makes his way to presumably his mother. 

We approach a gorgeous older woman who obviously didn’t look her age but could tell her age based off of what she was wearing, which was a long semi fitted dark blue dress with a high neck “Mother, I’m here.” The woman turns her attention away from the woman she was speaking to and gasps “Sannie, you made it..” San pulls the shorter woman in his arms and hugs her tightly “You know I’d never miss my sister’s birthday.” She pulls back gently cupping her hands on his face with a smile. “My son, my strong handsome son.” Both him and his mother chuckle then she pulls away and looks around us “Where’s Wooyoungie sweetie? Last time I talked to him he said he’d come..”

San takes Mrs. Choi’s hand “Ah, yeah about that. Wooyoung couldn’t make it tonight he had a personal emergency.” Mrs. Choi worriedly furrows her brows “Oh my- Is he okay?” San nods giving his mother a reassuring pat “He is he’s fine, he’s just dealing with a few private matters that couldn’t be postponed and were very last minute.” Wow, he’s good at lying to his own mother too that’s actually scary. He’s not even hesitating. The mother understandably nods “Well I hope whatever it is I hope he sorts it out soon..” Mrs. Choi then turns  in my direction, for a few seconds she examines my face then she says “Oh hello, wow who is this gorgeous girl Sannie?”

I reach out and shake his mother’s hand politely smiling “Hello Mrs. Choi I am Detective y/n y/ln, I’m one of Mr. Choi’s current colleagues. His connection to the Ulwood PD. ” His mother’s eyes widen slightly then quickly composes herself before San says “She’s been a great help helping me track Lee and his other people..” For a few moments San’s mother stares at me “Are you really working for the Aurora Syndicate? Are you sure you don’t secretly work for the police to turn my son in?” San chuckles gently patting his mother’s back “She’s fine mother, I made sure of it. Besides she has her own grudges against Lee, I promise you she won’t betray us.” Mrs. Choi nods “You’re that detective that was found dead aren’t you?” I nod and lightheartedly chuckle “Yeah, that’s me. So you have no worries about me turning on anyone.” Mrs. Choi looks over at San and smiles “Look at you, giving that old bastard a taste of his own medicine. You’re definitely your father’s son.” San nervously laughs “Mom..” 

A gorgeous long dark brown haired woman approaches us, her eyes were sultry and had a very mysterious and intimidating energy surrounding her. Her gaze looking straight at San, almost like he was some sort of target to her. “Hello, how are you on this lovely evening?” Mrs. Choi turns in said woman’s direction and smiles “Jisu sweetheart, hello how are you? I’m glad you could make it!” Jisu smiles and reaches for Mrs. Choi’s hand and gently pats it “Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I’m glad I could be here for Haneul’s big day.” Mrs. Choi smiles “Thank you” Jisu looks back at San and smiles in his direction “Is this the infamous Choi San?” Mrs. Choi chuckles and gently pats San’s shoulder then San responds slightly hesitant “Yeah, you must be Jisu. My mother’s mentioned you before.” Jisu reaches over to shake San’s hand and for a moment her hand shake lingers.

A bit shocked she’s holding onto his hand and not letting go until he pulls away his hand and puts it in his pocket. Mrs. Choi looks at both San and Jisu “I did, did I also mention you’re both the same age? I’m sure you two would get along very well.” Jisu looks in San’s direction tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear “Of course we will, San seems like a person I’d get along with perfectly. He’s so hardworking and it shows.” Jisu smirks then shifts her gaze over to me where her smirk slowly disappears then she softly laughs “Oh my- I’m sorry hello, who are you?” I give Jisu curt smile and extend my hand “Detective y/n y/l, I’m currently working for Mr. Choi.” She raises her eyebrow “My, my I didn’t know San was willing to be risky, you feds are hard to trust. Nine times out of ten you have ulterior motives.” I chuckle feeling the venomous intent behind her words. “Well then I guess I’m the 1 out of 10 who has no ulterior motives. Mr. Choi knows he’s in good hands trusting me. Am I right Mr. Choi?”

I turn to him giving him a small smile. San immediately picks up on what I was trying to do and responds “Of course, she’s shown me her loyalty multiple times. At the end of the day we both have the same goal so why not team up with someone like minded.” Jisu hums then shrugs “Well, as long as you’re confident that’s all that matters.” Mrs. Choi gently takes my arm and says “San, I need to have a word with Detective y/ln. Do you mind keeping Jisu company?” San looks at me sympathetically then back at his mother “Ah, yes mother.” Jisu looks in my direction, smirking almost like she knew this was something I couldn’t get myself out of. Almost like she expected the worst. I’m worried. Did I say something wrong? 

Mrs. Choi quietly walks me out of the room the party was being held in and once outside in the hallway she lets go of my arm. Expecting her to maybe say something she continues walking in silence unnerving me even more as the seconds go by. I walk behind her until we enter the big marbled floor living room, she motions me to sit down on the expensive looking velvet couch which I oblige. She walks over to the small cocktail table and serves us both drinks, I'm presuming whiskey. At this point I’m beginning to get very impatient. What exactly was the reason I was pulled away from everyone else. What is she going to tell me? She sets my drink on the coffee table then sits across from me while she holds her whiskey in her hand. I clear my throat running my fingers along the soft fabric of my dress “So, uh what did you want to talk about Mrs Choi?” She takes a small sip of her drink the gently rests it on her lap ”So you said you work for the Ulwood police department correct?” I nod carefully clasping my hands together and gently resting them on my knees “Yes, correct ma’am” She swirls her drink in the heavy crystal glass whilst I carefully reach for my drink on the table “In the police department? I work under Captain Steven Lee Ma’am.”

She’s not going to like this..I know it. She slightly raises her eyebrow “Very interesting…You do know your Captain killed my husband right?” I nod looking down at my drink slightly bowing my head “Ah, yes Mrs. Choi I was the one in charge of the case. We arrested the people who were involved in the murder.” Like San, his mother has a very intense stare only this time making me very more nervous knowing the lengths his mother is willing to go for her son so I can only imagine what she'd do for her husband. “That you did. Unfortunately you missed the main culprit.” Her words felt like swords stabbing right through me. Words that immediately make my stomach drop.

“I’m aware Mrs. Choi, unfortunately when San showed me what Captain Lee was really up to everything finally made sense. He purposely would steer things away from anything that he thought would get him caught, at the time my partner and I didn’t really understand why he wanted to be so heavily involved in the case since usually he’d be the one to usually just assign them and just stick to focusing on the department’s strategy. So I assure you I didn’t know anything until I met San.” Mrs. Choi stares at me unmoved, a complete 180 from when she was with San and Minia. “I understand, I'm sure that bastard has everyone back at the station fooled..” I nod respectfully agreeing “Yes, unfortunately even the best one among us got fooled. Which is why I’m working with San to put that man down.”

God, I sound so pathetic saying it like that. “So what’s your reason for helping my son? What did Steven do to you?” There’s the question I was waiting for. I let out a long sigh then I meet Mrs. Choi’s eyes finally lifting my gaze to meet hers “Well, San kidnapped me to get Captain Lee back but unfortunately he gave up trying to get me back once he realized he was going to have to expose his crimes to everyone so instead he left me for dead in hopes San gave up threatening him and I’d get killed. Luckily San did the opposite and instead had me pretend I was dead, which unfortunately caused me to lose everything I had; friends, family, career, my home..” With the last words quietly being trailed off from my throat growing a huge knot. Is she going to sympathize with a cop? Someone who works under the man who killed her husband?

Mrs. Choi’s gaze grows a bit soft and sets down her half filled glass on the arm rest of her seat “I am so sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how many more people are suffering at the hands of Steven.” She’s right there are probably quite a few people getting blackmailed to do his dirty work for him. No doubt. “I just want to make sure you mean well working with my son, because if your intentions are not pure- and please do not take offense but a mother will do everything in her power to protect her son no matter who it’s against.” Ah, just what I was dreading. Nice. “ I understand Mrs. Choi, you have my promise there will be no moves on my part against San. I’m fully on the Aurora Syndicate’s side, you have my word.” Mrs. Choi Smiles “ I have one last question for you y/n.” I nod, taking a sip of my drink, the warmth slowly trickling down my throat and to my stomach. Yep, definitely whiskey. “Sure Mrs. Choi go ahead.”

She gives me a mischievous smile her finger tracing along the rim of her drink “So y/n what do you really think about my son?” I run my finger under the crystal glass trying my hardest to stay calm “Hm, like as a person?” Mrs. Choi warmly smiles clearly trying her best to get me to open up “As a man sweetheart.” My throat tightens causing me to clear my throat. “Oh, uh I mean he’s very handsome, and of course very kind.” Wait, why is she asking me this? “He definitely is, he takes a lot from his father…” Wait that’s all she was going to ask? I mean yeah it’s kinda weird but that’s it? “There’s one thing I will tell you is that my son tends to be quite flirty sometimes and I want you to pay no mind to him” No mind to him? Like ignore him? “Uh- Could you elaborate Mrs. Choi?” She sighs “To be frank, I don’t want you to get involved with my son. I understand you’re working with him but just leave it at that. Nothing more.” Is she really starting to pin this on me? Like I know it's true but oh my gosh how does she know? What gave it away…I need to convince her otherwise or I'll be in big trouble.

“My apologies for asking Mrs. Choi but why?” Mrs. Choi scoffs then retorts in a venomous tone “Because I don’t trust you. No matter what Steven Lee did to you, you’re still working under him. I don’t want San to fall for the same bullshit my husband fell for with Steven. That tragedy is not going to repeat itself again.” I carefully set my glass back onto the glass coffee table and I shake my head “I assure you that’s not going to happen Mrs. Choi. San and I have grown to be very close friends from sharing the same hatred for one person and the last thing I'd ever do is betray him. If anything I owe him my life.” Mrs. Choi seems unconvinced from my plea. “Then know that your place here which is only to help my son get rid of the man who killed my husband and not being romantically involved with him.” I drink the remaining whiskey in my glass in one go to prepare myself “Again, my apologies but I never explicitly stated my feelings towards Mr. Choi. I only really said he’s good looking and has a great heart.”

The woman rolls her eyes at me like just told her the stupidest thing on Earth “You were the one my son was shopping for. I asked you if you were the deceased detective because my son was telling me he was shopping for someone special. The problem is one of his associates let it slip that the girl he was shopping for was “the detective” After a bit of pondering I put two and two together. The last time my son went out of his way to spoil someone like that he was engaged to his former sweetheart.” I’m guessing San is not the type to gift just anyone, they have to be special to him. In that case, I'm special to him.. Wow. “You’re not wrong about your son getting me things, that’s true. That’s only because I needed them. What’s not true is my relationship with him. We’re simply friends.”

Without hesitation Mrs. Choi throws her drink at my face and gets up looking down at me “Don’t get smart with me, stay away from my son.” Her heels clack away little by little becoming more faint while I blankly stare down at the marbled floor in disbelief, my eyes blinking rapidly from the alcohol burning my eyes. She really knows. It's like she stays out of San’s business in front of him but behind his back she gets rid of people she deems useless for her son.. It’s probably why San is insisting of only a few people knowing his true plans. Unfortunately I understand her fear of trusting a cop, it’s completely validated. The thing is I’m not liking how this played out, we’re off to a bad start. Judging from the small things San would tell me about his mother, she seemed nice but now not so much. At least not when you get on her bad side. 

Eventually I manage to clear my eyes, my face and ears are burning out of embarrassment. My lap and chest wet from the whiskey, once I manage to stand up I walk back into the party.  I let out a long sigh and look around, trying to ignore the wet dress against my skin and my hair and makeup feeling gross. Maybe I should get San out of talking to that girl. He didn’t seem too comfortable with her. I walk around looking for San not really paying attention ahead of me until I accidentally bump into someone with my shoulder causing me to hiss in pain tightly clutching onto my wounded shoulder. “I’m sorry, are you okay? y/n?”

I look up and notice a worried Seonghwa staring down at me whilst the other people he was talking to just silently stare at me. Gosh, I’m so glad to have found someone I recognize. Walking around with a bunch of people I don’t know was starting to make me really uncomfortable considering how horrid I probably look. “I’m fine, sorry I was looking for San. He was with a girl.” Seonghwa raises his eyebrow then he excuses himself from the people he was talking to and walks a few steps away from them pulling me aside “A girl?” I nod looking around trying to see if maybe San was anywhere close by. “Yeah, her name is Jisu, really pretty, looks like a model.” Seonghwa slowly nods “Ah, yes. His mother is trying to set them up..” He looks around and steers me in the opposite direction I was walking “I think for now it’s best you don’t interrupt them, you don’t want to upset Mrs. Choi.”

I glance over at Seonghwa and scoff looking away, feeling the tears in my eyes making them sting “I already did that, can’t you see my makeup is all runny?” Seonghwa turns my face in his direction and slightly squints, gently pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear inspecting my face “Your makeup is fine surprisingly, your hair though. It’s a bit-” I look down clearly embarrassed “I know, ugly..” Seonghwa warmly smiles and takes out the handkerchief in his breast pocket gently patting my face and hair dry “No- I mean your hair looks wet.. What happened?” I close my eyes for a bit to force my tears back into my eyes when I open them I pull his hand towards the exit “I can’t say it here.. Can we go outside?” Seonghwa gently rests his hand on my uninjured shoulder “Before we go, are you hurt? Do we need to get Jongho?”

I look under the fur wrap at my wound and shake my head “No, I’m fine. I just bumped it a little.”  He reaches over and links my arm around his “Alright good, this is so you don’t fall by the way. Those shoes look like an accident waiting to happen.” I roll my eyes and laugh “You do know I wear heeled shoes to work sometimes, I have no issues walking on high heels.” He shrugs stifling a laugh “So? What if you fall? In front of all these people..”

Well he’s right, that would be embarrassing and I’ve been embarrassed enough tonight “Okay fine..” Seonghwa starts to guide me out the door until we step outside the chilly evening. “Geez, it’s kind of cold.” I slightly shiver and hug myself standing behind one of the statues at the top of the stairs leading to the door. Seonghwa unbuttons his blazer about to take it off before I panickily mumble “No please, it’s okay…” Seonghwa looks at me for a moment and asks “Are you sure? I don’t want you to catch a cold..” I shake my head forcing a smile “I won’t I promise.” He stands next to me clearing his throat “So, what happened?” I look down and let out a soft sigh and for the first time tonight I begin to really process what happened making my throat grow a knot again. For a few moments I struggle to get the words out until I finally blurt out “San’s mother, she hates me.” Seonghwa gives me a very concerned look “What? Mrs. Choi? How?..” Slightly frustrated I hug myself tighter, tears now rolling down my cheeks “ She found out about me and San, she doesn’t want me to be romantically involved with him because she thinks I’m going to get into his head and basically be the downfall for their business..”

Seonghwa lets out a sigh and pulls me into a hug “I’m so sorry y/n. Did she find out through you or-” I sniffle and pull away looking up at an uneasy Seonghwa “I tried to deny it, but she found out through a slip up with one of the associates, not sure who it was but they referred to me as “the detective” when talking to his mother over who San was shopping for..” Seonghwa lets out a long sigh and rubs his forehead slightly frustrated “San’s going to get pissed..” Once he lets out his small frustration he gently pats my head gently pushing it back onto his chest “Do you want to leave? We don’t have to stay here if you’re uncomfortable.” While my head gently rests on Seonghwa’s chest I look at the entrance for a few long seconds “I don’t know, I feel like maybe I need to go tell San over what happened with his mother. He seemed pretty worried when she asked me to talk.”

Seonghwa gently clears the stray hairs on my face “San will understand, don't worry. I can call him and let him know that I’m taking you home.” I worriedly look at Seonghwa “Are you sure? You don’t have to, you can just give me the keys and I can drive myself.” He chuckles and gently pats my head “It doesn’t bother me, I promise. Besides I can’t let a girl looking as pretty as you drive herself home alone.” Seonghwa pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolls on his phone for a bit then puts his cellphone to his ear, where you can faintly hear the dial tone until you hear San’s voice “Hey, y/n isn’t feeling too well. I’m taking her home.” San’s voice responds but I can’t make out what he’s saying, only that he sounded a bit annoyed. Seonghwa then responds “She’s not feeling too well being here-” Suddenly Seonghwa stops talking while San says something to which Seonghwa tensely responds “Ah, okay then we’ll be out in the front waiting.”

San curtly responds then the call ends rendering Seonghwa to awkwardly let out a sigh putting his cell phone away then slowly pulls back and looks at me forcing a smile “Change of plans, San’s going to take you instead. He asked me to stay and talk to some investors.” I raise an eyebrow “What? I thought he was busy.” Seonghwa gently pats my head and chuckles “Well, I guess he’s not too busy for you. Which is good, maybe he’ll learn to take time to himself instead of working all the time.” Seonghwa looked kind of upset now, although he’s really good at hiding it; his tense body language and his faint darkened mood replaces his usual warm and caring demeanor which is what gave it away. “I’m sorry, for bothering you Hwa.” Seonghwa gives me a faint smile then turns to look at the horizon.

The sky being painted a beautiful shade of sparkly dark blue now as opposed to earlier. “You don't need to, if anything I'm glad we bumped into each other. You needed someone after that encounter with Mrs. Choi, I know right now you’re holding back trying not to cry as much as you’d like.” Unfortunately he’s right, I can’t bawl my eyes out like a child here. Not only would that be embarrassing for me but I know it’ll be embarrassing for San as well. “Yeah, considering what my job is, I kind of have to keep it together even if I am a crybaby when I’m alone.” Seonghwa glances over at me “Just know with me you never have to hold back, I know we still don’t know each other very well but I’m here.” Seonghwa has always been very kind, although I feel weird confiding in him now considering how we’ve gone through the unfortunate situation of him seeing my true relationship with San. I guess it’s nice knowing I have a friend in these situations “Thank you, it means a lot.” Seonghwa gently nudges my arm “So are you going to tell San what happened with his mother?”

I stare at the ground for a few good seconds, before I’m even able to say anything the front door opens followed by “y/n are you okay?” I glance up and it’s a worried San hurriedly walking in my direction, Seonghwa steps aside letting him stand next to me where he reaches over for my arm. “Uh..” Seonghwa looks at the both of us then slightly bows in San’s direction “I’m off, I hope you make it home safely y/n” I give him a reassuring smile then Seonghwa looks in San’s direction  “I was keeping y/n company but now that you’re here-” San pats Seonghwa’s back turns him towards the door “Yeah I’ll call you if I need anything, thanks for keeping an eye on her.” Seonghwa forces a smile and excuses himself without saying anything else. What was that? 

“Why didn’t you let Seonghwa just take me home? Weren’t you on a date?” San dryly chuckles “What? No.. I mean I was with Jisu but I promise you it wasn’t a date. I was just appeasing my mother since I really didn’t want to upset her here.” San takes my hand gently pressing his lips onto the back of my hand  “Enough of me though, what happened?” I let out a long sigh and start walking down the stairs “We have to get out of here, I’m not risking anyone overhearing us no matter how “Safe” it is here. “ San follows behind not letting go of my arm “Wait, is it really that bad? Was it some asshole that said something to you or was it my mother?” San’s last words render me to make the knot in my throat break knowing damn well I wasn’t going to make it without crying. “Baby?” San stands still causing me to be pulled into a complete halt “Look at me, it’s okay. I’m here, I'm not going anywhere.” He pulls me into his arms where he gently presses his lips on my shoulder “Don’t cry, please. We’ll go into the car and talk about this okay?”

San digs into his pocket where after a few moments I hear the sound of his car beeping which was luckily nearby. He pulls back cupping my face looking into my eyes, his usual intimidating gaze is now soft trying his hardest to comfort me “Come on baby, car’s over there.” He grabs my hand and we walk to the car whilst I quietly sniffle behind him. When we finally get to his car he opens the door to his expensive looking car and lets me in.  Surprisingly it wasn’t a sports car but a luxury car that looked like it cost more than the average person’s yearly income. I better not let any tears fall onto the seat if that’s the case. Once San enters the car and closes the door behind him he turns in my direction and reaches for my hand “Okay, now tell me what happened?” Still teary eyes and without even letting silence run by that long I blurt out “Your mother knows about us San, the thing is she’s not happy about it.” San furrows his eyebrows “Wait? What? How?” I shrug blinking back my tears “From what she told me is that one of your associates let it slip.” San’s gaze darkens which is the look I was most afraid of seeing. “Who was it, I need names y/n..”

I shake my head my tears running down my cheeks while I slightly stumble. “I don’t know that’s just what she told me, she specifically said he referred to me as “the detective” and of course she pieced it together saying that you don’t usually go out of your way to gift anyone anything especially if it’s a woman. She said that when you asked her for advice on how find a dress she asked you who you were shopping for to which you simply responded “Someone special” which gave her a hint of what type of relationship it was” San stays silent gently rubbing his thumb on my hand whilst he listens. “She also said she didn’t want anything between us because she doesn’t want a repeat of what happened to your father which I understand and I guess to explain my wet hair she kind of threw her drink at me.” The air changed, he’s upset. I can feel it. 

He clenches his jaw while he bounces his leg trying to dissipate the anger. He sits there in silence for a few seconds before he finally gets up and exits the car angrily. Terrified of making it worse I get out of the car and speed walk behind him “Please, don’t tell her anything..” He silently walks in the direction of his home most. I speed walk a little faster finally catching up to him immediately reaching for his hand with tears blurring my vision. “San! Please!” He comes to a halt once those words leave my lips and halts glaring at the Choi’s property, his eyes seething with anger. I stand in front of him and tighten my grip on his hand. “Please, let’s just go. It’s okay, I just need you to be with me that’s all..” San’s gaze stays fixed to the house in silence until he finally utters  “I really am sorry y/n, I’m so sorry my mother treated you like this. You didn’t deserve this at all, you have no idea how much it pisses me off. I could have avoided this happening to you had I gone with you instead of obeying my mother. I trusted she wouldn’t pull something like this..” I walk into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure it out. We don’t want to ruin your sister’s day do we?” San’s eyes remain angry and cold while holding onto me.

Once I manage to get him to get back in the car San practically glares ahead of him then turns on his car anger seething through him. “Put your seatbelt on we’re getting the fuck out of here.” Obeying him I immediately pull the seatbelt over myself clicking it into place “Where are we going?” He grumbles “Somewhere that’s not here.” He pulls out of the driveway and the tires screech as we drive through the gates and back to the long pathway leading out of the Choi’s property. I notice San’s tight grip on the shift gear making the veins in his arms pop out that’s when I reach over and rest my hand over his  “I’ll be fine, it hurt but I’ll be okay. I’ve been treated much worse.” San looks ahead keeping his eyes on the road but still very clearly upset “You don’t understand y/n , all my life my mother’s been like a saint to me. In my eyes she could do no wrong because that’s how much respect I have towards her. The thing is this time she’s wrong, you’re nothing like Lee, you’re a godsend, someone I was so happy to have met even if they were all under the wrong circumstances. My angel.” I gently hug San’s arm whilst holding onto his hand “See? All it matters is that you recognize it.” I still hate that his mom ended up hating me, but I saw it coming. “I know, I just wish she saw what I see in you, the sweet, hardworking and strong woman that I fell for.” I gently squeeze his hand on the gear shift and kiss his cheek “She will.” She won’t, and I know that because I know you’ll go on to marry someone who fits your lifestyle. 

“So Mr. Choi, where are we going?” He gives me a dimpled smile while keeping his eyes on the road “Hm, is there anywhere in particular you want to go angel?” I hum watching the cars ahead of us pass by “I’ll go wherever you go Sannie, just being with you makes me happy.” He quickly leans in and kisses my forehead before he says “Take a nap baby, you had a long day. I’ll wake you up when we get there hm?” I adjust in my seat resting my head against the head rest and cross my arms in front of my chest. As soon as I close my eyes close San lets out a groan “Why’d you let go of my hand?” I open my eyes and look over at a pouty San “What? I was going to leave you alone so you drive comfortably”

He lets go of the gear shift and takes my hand lacing his fingers between mine “Who said I wasn’t comfortable?” I giggle “Okay fine, my mistake my pouty boy.” He feigns a pout trying not to smile but completely fails. “Ah, look it’s your dimples! Look, you're smiling!” San chuckles “No I’m not!” I reach over with my free hand and poke his dimple “Oh but Mr. Choi you are look I just poked your dimple..” San keeps his eyes on the road then gently brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my hand “Go to sleep detective or I'm afraid I’ll end up crashing this car if you keep distracting me with your antics.” I slowly nod stifling a laugh “Fair enough I’ll sleep, it better be good.. ” I close my eyes and pull San’s hand onto my lap, until the car’s movement lulls me to sleep.

“Wake up angel, we’re here.” San gently strokes my arm while I slowly stir awake, the distant sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore. I open my eyes and see a smiling San by now he had removed his blazer now leaving him with his vest and dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up like usual while resting his forearm at the top of the car door way “Ah, look at you. Such a beauty..” He looks over at the sand then back down at my shoes “Hm, I think you might want to take those off.” I kick off my high heels and throw my fur cover up in the back seat. “You’re right high heels in sand aren’t fun.” He gently leans in and and kisses my forehead before he helps me step out of the car. “We came to the beach..” He nods gently squeezing my hand in his “We did, do you like it? I know it’s dark right now but you can still see pretty well from the lights” I look at the waves being delicately illuminated by the soft glow of the moon.

“I love it, but why exactly are we here?” San brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my hand while we both walk towards the beautiful ocean “I wanted to cheer you up, what happened tonight was my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go alone with my mother so I wanted to make up for it somehow even though it doesn’t undo everything that happened.” I stop us a few feet before the shore and I turn to face San, he looks down at me gently running his thumb along my cheek. I lean into his touch and hold his hand onto my face “Don’t worry. Whatever happens, happens. I’m used to hatred coming my way.” His brows inch together “You shouldn’t say that though. You should always have love coming your way because you deserve to be loved.”

I look up at him and examine his face, he’s so beautiful, just like his words. “Your words are so pretty Mr. Choi, you always manage to remind me why I love you so much.” San nervously chuckles then cups my face with one hand and pulls me close with the other “My words are only pretty to resemble the one who receives them.” He leans in and kisses me, his soft lips very tenderly latching onto mine whilst he holds me close to him. My hands slowly run up his chest while my feet slowly sink into the sand below me so I tip toe to reach around his neck, San notices this and breaks the kiss. “Having trouble baby?” I pout feeling a bit embarrassed “No..” San chuckles planting a kiss on my cheek “You’re so cute..” I pull the front of my dress up “I bet you can’t catch me..” He raises his eyebrow and smirks “I think I can.. Go ahead and get a head start..”

I stick my tongue out at him and run ahead along the beach as fast as I can while giggling knowing he was dumb enough to give me a head start. Just as quickly as I ran a gap between us he quickly catches up to me and carefully throws me over his shoulder as to not hurt my injured shoulder and slaps my butt. I loudly gasp playfully smacking his arm “San, stop!” He chuckles and slaps my butt again and defiantly squeezes it “This is fun actually. So soft.” Catching me off guard I squeal and cover my mouth embarrassed that someone might see us and pat his back. He gently lays me down on the sand the crawls on top of me and places his soft lips on mine.

We kiss for a few moments before he lays next to me and lets out a soft groan. I reach over to hold his hand and we both look up at the beautiful glittery sky where he says “Are you happy with me y/n?” I turn to look at San who was looking up at the sky his lips pressed together anticipating my answer. “Of course I am. You have no idea how happy I am every time I see you. Although we can’t really hang out like a normal couple I still really like being around you.” He holds back a smile and nods, kissing my hand for the nth time today.

“Good, because I wish you were with me a little longer. I don’t want you to go.. You’re the only one who doesn’t force me to wear the mask I have to keep on every single day since my father died.” I bite the inside of my lip and silently stare up at the sky, for a moment I don’t know how to answer. How can I? So I stay silent for a bit trying to figure out what to say, maybe.. “So, are you finally admitting that San likes to be San and not an evil criminal?” San chuckles and lets out a soft exhale “Yeah, I do like being San even if I try to hide it most of the time, it’s better than having enemies you didn’t know you had and having to keep your guard up every time you meet someone new.” I’m surprised he’s not a paranoid mess all the time with the amount of people constantly going after him.

“I’ll be your safe space. Always, just find me when you need me.” He lays down on his side propping his head on his hand “Be careful, I might kidnap you from the station and this time I won’t return you..” I boop his nose and giggle “You have to return me silly, or we won’t get rid of our mutual enemy.” He pulls my face close to his and before he pulls me in for a kiss he says “Screw that man, I want my girl by my side..” He kisses down to my neck burying his face and letting out a soft sigh. I gently stroke his now shorter dark hair without messing it up too much “You know what’s funny?” San lets out a soft hum and I continue “This dress is a vintage Mugler and I got whiskey on it and now a bunch of sand is all over it..”

San lifts his head and looks up at me “So?” I scoff and a dryly laugh “It’s ruined..” San gives me a dimpled smile “Don’t worry about it, I’ll buy it. As long as my angel is happy I don’t mind.” I blink in confusion and shock “But it’s expensive-” He gently covers my mouth “It’s fine, I promise. Besides it got ruined because of me so don’t feel bad.” He kisses my neck one last time before he lays his head back down on his arm “So, do you want to go home?” I exhaustedly hum and he gets up “Come on, I’ll carry you to the car.” I shake my head “No wait, it’s okay. I want to hold your hand again.” San helps me up raising his eyebrow “You really are a softie Detective..” I roll my eyes and lace my fingers between his. “You like it though.” San sucks his teeth “I do. Alot. Do it more often.” I glance up at him, the moonlight hitting his features at just the right angle making my heart skip a beat. “Yes Mr.Choi..” I got whiskey thrown in my face today but somehow San made me feel better. 

•································•································•

If you would like to be on the taglist DM me or leave a comment!✨

Tag List: @cromerteez @thanxx1117 @kisaane-not @atinyreads @hxneebxbee @itsvxlentine @ahhhhhhhhhghh @atinytinaa @atinyluv238 @damagelove @altgojo @steviesbergthuis @yourfatherlucifer @yeosangsbbg @tunaasan @lovjensoo @mommahwa1117

Please Reblog if you liked it! 🔁

Previous Chapter |

#ateez series #ateez angst #choi san x reader #ateez imagine #park seonghwa x reader #mafia au #ateez x reader #fic: the syndicate #kim hongjoong x reader #jeong yunho x reader #choi jongho x reader #jung wooyoung x reader #kang yeosang x reader #kpop imagines #ateez scenarios

[iwonderwh0]

Vampire au

I suppose this scene is happening relatively early, possibly before Connor knows Markus's true identity. I really like it, and I hope you'll love it as well.

When Connor parks at the entrance to the graveyard, Markus is completely certain that whatever Connor has in mind, he doesn't want to be a part of it.

Just a few hours earlier, he was just telling Connor about the amount of fake accusations vampires face for deaths that never happened and how the graves for those 'killed' by them are almost always empty. That's when Connor suddenly became heated, insisting that Markus was wrong.

"Empty graves? It's an urban legend kids tell to scare each other," he laughs drily," Surely, you don't expect me to believe that."

"Well, of all the stories kids can share, this one happens to be based on actual facts."

Across the table Connor narrows his eyes, and his chin rises slightly in silent indignation. He turns off the recorder and takes a deep breath.

"You're wrong. And I can prove it." His voice is low and is close to a whisper.

"Please, do," Markus smiles at him, curious to how exactly is he going to do that.

Surely, he wouldn't invite Markus to participate in grave-digging; that'd be absurd.

That's what Markus was trying to convince himself as Connor silently drives the car in what, Markus quickly realises, is the direction of the graveyard. Connor doesn't even turn on the radio, so the only sound inside the car is the noise of the rough road outside and Connor's nervous tapping on the steering wheel. Markus can almost physically feel the heat of his poorly hidden anger, charging the air around the two of them. As they draw closer to their destination, Markus becomes increasingly worried about Connor's precise plan for proving him wrong.

This feeling escalates even further when he pulls out two shovels from the back of the car and strides towards the gates.

Conflicted, Markus follows him. They pass grave after grave, and as Markus looks around, he tries to recall which one of them were empty. He knows the precise location of at least one undoubtedly empty grave in this cemetary, but he isn't willing to consider it. He tries not to look in its direction and hopes to forget about its whole existence. Fortunately, it's far from being the only one empty, and Markus spots two other options among those they pass.

Meanwhile Connor seems to know exactly which one he wants to desecrate. He walks deeper into the park, then stops before one of the tombstones and gazes at it for a long moment before handing Markus the second shovel and sticking his into the ground. For a moment, Markus wonders if whatever is happening is actually real. Could it be that Connor is just waiting for him to give in and admit to be lying under the pressure of digging out the actual grave?

"Connor, what are you doing."

"You said you don't mind putting your theory to the test. And well, that's exactly what I'm trying to do."

"Whose grave is it?" Markus glances at the tombstone, but it's almost entirely covered with a bush of roses, making it hard to read the name or the year written on it.

"My brother. He got bitten when we were twelve and died three days later. If you're correct in what you told me, this grave will be empty, right?" he asks sarcastically and steps onto a shovel forcing it deeper into the stale ground.

"Connor, you can't just go digging up graves. If not for just moral reasons, grave desecration is actually illegal. I'm pretty sure you must be aware of that."

Connor ignores him and continues digging.

"If there's a single person in this universe who is allowed to dig out this grave here – it's me," he says eventually, "And if it is ideed as empty as you say it is, it shouldn't matter anyway."

Markus sighs and looks in silence at Connor digging deeper into the ground. He wonders if he should just turn around and leave. Will it stop him from digging further? Something tells him that it won't.

"It's not empty, I believe you," he says, "Please, stop," Markus reaches Connor's forearm, urging him to give him the shovel, but he only shakes him off sticking the blade of the shovel back into the ground.

"I told you, it's not empty. I believe you! You don't have to prove me anything."

Ignoring him Connor continues to dig into the ground.

"Connor!"

"Shut up and help me."

"If I call the police, you'll get arested," Markus tries, hoping that maybe a direct threat will have an effect.

"Then do it."

With that Markus grabs him by the forearm and seizes the shovel from his hands. Connor huffs and bends down to take the other shovel from the ground, but Markus stepps on it, pinning it down.

Connor breathes in, then out.

"Okay. Fine," he says and Markus sighs with relief, thinking that he managed to convince him to stop, but then Connor turns back to the grave and starts digging it with his bare hands.

"Are you fucking-" Markus searches for the words, but the sight of hands digging into the grave soil pierced his head with pain, "Connor."

"Yes?" Connor stopps and locks his eyes at Markus, his eyebrows rising, "It will be a lot quicker if you give me a shovel. Even more so, if you help me."

"It won't be empty," he repeats.

"You said it will," Connor says, turning away from him, focusing instead on getting more ground from the pit onto the surface.

"That's not-" Markus presses his hands to his head as another outburst of pain dazzles his vision," That's not what I said"

"You said," Connor says rising from the pit to step closer in Markus's direction, "that half of this fucking graveyard is empty as, let me quote you 'no one really dies from just a bite'," he imitates Markus's voice. He's unnervingly good at the impression, "So. Why wouldn't it be empty? Enlightened me."

"It will not," Markus struggles to find words as Connor lifts the shovel from the ground and goes back to digging. His white shirt is partially black with mud, and the sight of it is all Markus can think of.

"And why is that, Markus? Tell me."

Markus doesn't know what would be the right way to say the truth. 'I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but it is likely that your hunter dad was actually the one to kill your brother, because he most definitely didn't die from a bite.'

Connor probably wouldn't believe him the same way he doesn't believe him about the existence of empty graves.

Connor keeps digging.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

Markus looks down at the digged ground with a nauseous feeling rising up his stomach. His head ringing with the imagery of dirt on Connor's clothes.

"No."

Connor scoffs and presses the shovel back into the ground. Markus turns away.

"Okay then. It'll take some time."

How much time exactly? The local cemetery had the occasion to be located on a piece of land with unfortunately shallow bedrock, causing for unusually shallow graves for which Markus was generally thankful. Any other day of the year, but this.

Trying to ease his headache Markus faintly hopes that Connor will exhaust himself and abandons the idea before he manages to get to the bottom.

Why would he even keep digging after Markus agreed that the grave isn't empty? Markus wonders as the sound of shovel hitting into the ground continues in almost equally spaced intervals. If it wasn't for the fact of digging out the literal grave, Markus would probably consider this speed to be almost impressive. For a human, at least.

He should leave. He can't leave.

He needs to find a way to make Connor stop.

"Was it an open or closed-casket funerals?" he asks, trying to find anything that could help him in convincing.

"Closed. Mother insisted I shouldn't see him," he bends down to throw away the cobblestone from the pit, "probably has to do with the fact that we looked completely identical. I'm not completely sure, but it's entirely possible we were even dressed the same way."

Twins.

"Oh," Markus manages in response.

So he didn't see him. For a moment Markus almost considers the possibility of the grave being indeed empty, but as he recalls all the local vampires he knows to be converted at the early age -- only six in total -- he can't think of a single one that'd look anything like Connor.

And then it hits him.

"You want it to be empty," he says, more to himself than to Connor.

The digging stopps. Markus turns around and watches as Connor looks down on the mud, swallows, then shakes his head and continues digging.

This is hopeless.

Markus turns back around and tries to ignore the sound of the shovel hitting the ground. He notes the moment Connor starts to get out of breath, the interval between the hits of the shovel stretching longer. He can hear Connor cussing something under his breath before digging out another rock out of the way.

Eventually, shovel hits the hard surface of the casket.

Markus turns around and watches Connor cleaning the mud around it to find the right side to open it. He wonders once more if he should stop him now, by force if necessary, but the sight of the casket lid covered in soil and mud makes his vision go dark, freezing him to the ground. If he were buried in something like this, he would stand no chance of ever getting himself out.

Connor breathes heavily struggling to find a way to open it. He sticks the shovel back to clean his way to the side of the lid from one side, then repeats the same action from another, and after that, leans down to try opening it again. It works. He opens it slightly and instantly shuts it back. Markus doesn't see the content of what's inside. He doesn't need to.

Connor backs away, rises to his feet, and walks to the fence, turning his head around as if looking for something.

"Empty?" Markus asks him, knowing the answer already.

Wordlessly Connor shakes his head. He stares blankly into the fence, avoiding turning back to look at the grave. Markus walks closer to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. At first Markus thinks that Connor flinches under his touch, but then he realises that he's actually shaking.

He tried to stop him. He foresaw the outcome. It wasn't enough.

The smell of damp soil makes Markus's throat tighten. He turn away to face the grave once again and stares at the surface of the black casket. It stares right back at him. He lifts one of the shovels, careful not to touch the soil around it, and starts returning the ground from around the grave back to where it belongs. For the longest time Connor doesn't join him. Markus glances at him once in a while as he's working on the burial, but every time he looks Connor stands right where he was, frozen. When Markus's is about half way done, Connor finally picks the other shovel from the ground and joins him in burying back the grave that they now both knew wasn't empty.

They don't talk. Not before they're done, not after. Markus locks his eyes on the shovel in his hands as Connor joins him, avoiding accidentally looking up to where his shirt, pants and hands are still covered in soil. He tries not to breath in the air, contaminated with memories. But despite his best effort, he can still feel the earthy taste of it on his tongue.

As they're walking back to the car Markus is once again confronted with the sight of black mud on white surface of the shirt. He would still see it even with his eyes closed, just by knowing that it is there.

No.

He stops Connor by the shoulder and gets reminded of him still shaking violently.

"Put this on," he takes off his coat and hands it to Connor. He looks at it without any expression on his face.

"Please, just do it," Markus looks away and prays for Connor not to argue and just take the damn coat.

To his relief, Connor takes it with no further questions and does as Markus asks.

"Zip it," Markus orders and waits until he's sure Connor is done.

They get to the car and sit in silence. Markus presses his head against the cold surface or glass and tries to throw away the image of the grave or muddy clothes from his vision. He can hear the pulsating pain deep inside his skull and Connor's shaky attempts at breathing. He sounds like someone who's about to freeze to death, no less. Markus eyes him. He watches him gripping the steering wheel, eyes shut closed. He breathes in, then out.

He probably shouldn't drive like this.

Markus thinks, but then right in front of his eyes Connor takes another breath and then stills. In a few seconds he stopps shaking, then opens his eyes and looks right in front of him. The next time he takes a breath it stabilises as well. He pulls a small bottle of hand sanitizer along with a few napkins from the glove compartment, and cleans his hands from the remaining dirt, then straightens out and fastens his seat belt.

Whatever magic Markus has just witnessed he wishes he could learn it for himself. The smell of the soil is still aggressively present in the air, burning his eyes. It would seem that getting away from the grave would make him feel better, but to his regret grave followed him to the car. It will follow him home, and tomorrow he'll wake up still crushed by the pure pressure of its presence.

He almost regrets not pointing Connor at his own burial, angry at him for not knowing and at himself for not telling, but from all Markus gathered Connor isn't even fully convinced that he is a vampire. Telling him in plain text would be completely out of the question. Still.

Coming to the cemetery he was afraid of seeing his grave, but he couldn't have possibly expected Connor to show him his own instead. Or at least the one he thought of as his own, in some odd way.

Connor turns on the radio, and it fills the room with the sound of awfully upbeat music. Markus is not sure of whether he would prefer the silence or this. Connor seems to think the same way and turns the stations around, but all the neighbouring radio stations seems to be in some kind of collusion, playing disgustingly joyful tunes.

"Tell me where I should drop you off," Connor asks, starting the engine.

Markus swallows the knot in his throat and unable to remember any address says

"Anywhere."

#vampire au #dbh #dbh markus #dbh connor #rk1k

[hyugaruma]

H&L: Drunk Texting HCs

☆

re: in which they’re drunk texting you…

“woman” used

☆

Masaki

• Alright, so he’s about what you’d expect him to be… If you’re thinking cheery and flirtatious, you’re right. Almost obnoxiously so. If you don’t respond quick enough, he’ll be blowing your phone up with every little thought that he has. “Do yuo remmember when we first met? Did yup think I was cool?” “Doyou think birds get sad?” “Wish food was opne…hungry.”

• His texting isn’t atrocious, but there’s definitely some word-deciphering to be done here and there. Seems to consistently type “you” wrong.

• Sends a blurry selfie or two. You save them, obviously, because his adorable smile is to die for. Yeah, go ahead and make that his contact picture too. Oh, but he expects a selfie in return, obviously. “Let me see yup beaotiful, send yuor beautful face.”

Hyuga

• This guy doesn’t text. He just doesn’t. What’s an emoji? He has no idea. However, on the occasion when drinking, if you aren’t around, he may whip his phone out and start texting you. Though, it’s mostly just him telling you to come to wherever he is. “Come over” “It’s 1 in the morning…” “Fine I’m coming to you” And don’t doubt him, because he will. Because he’d much rather actually be with you than just texting you.

• If he can’t see you, he’ll probably opt to calling you at some point as his vision grows blurry and texting becomes increasingly more difficult. Will accidentally call someone else though, because he can’t figure that damn phone out. Old man Hyuga. “Hah? Who’s this? Why’re you with my woman? …Ah, sorry Ukyo, wrong number.”

• Will most definitely pass out at some point, but not without saying goodnight first. He’s a gentleman, after all. Rolls eyes. “Night see you tomorrow” “Wait, Nori, did we have plans tomorrow? Nori?” Aaaand he’s out.

Hirai

• One word: needy. Something akin to a puppy, but maybe even worse than that. At least puppies eventually wear themselves out, but Hirai seems to be on an endless timer when drunk. Remind him that you love him, he’s begging you. Call him cute, that’d make him really happy. “You still love me, right? You seemed like you were mad at me the other day and I just wanted to say that—“ cue very long paragraph with a bunch of nonsense. Sigh.

• Lots of heart emojis. Like, almost at the end of every text. Always pink hearts too, like the one he has next to your contact name. “Just watching some show, what’re you up to ♡”

• Really just wants to remind you how much you mean to him, how cute you are, how much he needs you… Please don’t leave him on read, even if he gets a tad annoying. He gets his feelings hurt really easily when drunk, especially if it’s by his beloved. Also, he’s a bit embarrassed by it all the next day… Don’t use it against him, he really can’t bare it.

Dan

• Incoherent. That’s it. Like, you have to wonder if he’s typing with his eyes closed. “Covet said smthhg I can remembrance” “Covet” “COBRA DAMSIT” “Want smoe chzzy Roman” …Yeah, good luck figuring that all out.

• At some point he’s practically typing while asleep, but is still so adamant about texting you that his fingers seem to have a mind of their own. You can ignore his illegible texts, he really won’t blame you. In fact, it’s probably for the better. That way he can eventually forget about his phone and actually go to sleep.

• If out in public, will probably end up losing his phone somewhere throughout the night. It wouldn’t be the first time. He also dropped it in a toilet once. Yeah, maybe he needs to stop drunk texting you…

Brown

• If one thing is consistent about his phone drunk self and his real life drunk self, it’s how flirty is. Like, borderline inappropriate. If the two of you weren’t already dating, you definitely would have blocked him. He really can’t help himself though, he just thinks you’re so sexy. What’s a man to do? “Send some pics, doll” “Pics of what?” “Everything” Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately?) you can probably expect him to send a few pictures himself… I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

• Pretty sporadic and inconsistent texts, especially if he’s out drinking instead of at home. Sometimes it’ll be seconds between replies, and sometimes hours. There’s really no telling, so don’t bother trying to have some sort of consistent conversation with him. “Miss you, doll” “I just saw you earlier this afternoon” [2 hours later] “Sorry, was trying to find your point” “-_-“

• This man has no shame. He will not feel any regrets for anything he says or does the following sober morning. In fact, expect this sort of drunk behavior pretty often. No matter what choice of scenery he’s chosen to drink in, he’ll always end up texting you. Well, at least you know his focus is always on you.

#high&low #drabble #fanfic #fanfiction #headcanons #high & low #high&low fanfic #high&low the worst #high&low writing #high&low headcanons #high&low imagines #high&low scenarios #high and low #norihisa hyuga #hyuga norihisa #high&low brown #high&low Hirai #Hirai #high&low Dan #dtc #masaki amamiya #amamiya brothers #amamiya masaki #j drama #jdrama #scenarios #imagines

[diablaesque]

Yeah, we’re reading The Art of Seduction. But not for the reason you think.

These books, amongst others within the genre, have a permanent space on my bookcase. But it's far from the reason you think. Whilst even the worst garbage can surprise us with some of its insights, we must remember what these books are in their essence. Mostly, it's psychobabble written from a man’s perspective that appeals to other men with sociopathic tendencies. More worryingly, it’s also a manual on how to abuse others.

And so you still must read and study them. It will help you guard yourself from abusive men who follow these books like its their bible. For example, in The Art of Seduction Greene describes a man who essentially forces attachment by consistently criticising a woman and creating a discontentment within her that only he can soothe and ‘fill’. Aside from the fact I wouldn’t take dating advice from someone who looks like they’ve snuck onto earth, this is actually an example of psychological violence. A well-known tactic that abusers use to emotionally break down their victims.

Fuck these guys. If a dude is knowingly employing tactics like this, report him. Show them we’re done fucking around and more importantly we know what they’re doing. The laws vary depending on where you live, but more places around the world are taking this type of coercion seriously. Depending on where you live you might even be able to fill a report online, including initial evidence submission.

In Australia Coercive Control is about to become a crime (I believe as of 2025) with a maximum punishment of 14 years - this includes many forms of emotional abuse such as the one described above. In the UK, Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 defines the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship. If found guilty, this crime carries a maximum punishment of 4 years. In America, emotional and psychological abuse laws vary by state but more and more are changing their laws.

Anyway, always report these bozos (if you feel well enough to do so, of course) even if you don’t think the report will go anywhere.

Manipulation is very different from general influence and skilled persuasion. Sociopathic, psychopathic, narcissistic and abusive men do not and never will understand this difference, they’re not only sick but also emotionally stunted and immature. We are so much better than them.

I will gladly teach you how to be influential, charismatic and persuasive. How to make people drawn to you authentically and as a result getting what you want and achieving your dreams. This approach creates genuine connections, usually with other highly charismatic (but also well-adjusted…) individuals.

I will never teach you how to abuse other people and break them down emotionally to get what you want - it is not only insane but also illegal and as detailed above can carry serious real life consequences (emotional violence is becoming increasingly easy to evidence). A relationship where you break down another person emotionally is not authentic, nor is it love. It’s a sick dependency that requires an intervention and support for the victim.

If you do display sociopathic, psychopathic or abusive tendencies and want a relationship like that - get help. Abusing others is not ‘hot girl healing’, it’s something that needs intensive therapy and serious self-reflection. Learn to be better.

Otherwise, please make sure to make those books your compulsory reading anyway because understanding these techniques will help you spot them and therefore guard yourself from men whose intentions are to hurt and manipulate you and get whatever they want at your cost.

#high value woman #glow up era #wonyoungism #glow up tips #glow up diaries #dream girl #mindset #skincare #self love #self discipline #the art of seduction #high value mindset #glow up #hvw #diabla #dark femenine #it girl #it girl energy #that girl #becoming that girl #motivation #psychology #dark femininity #divine feminine #self care #level up journey #self improvement #leveling up #dream life #pink pilates princess

[marxonculture]

Personhood and Genre Fiction | My 2024 Reading Journey So Far

I’ve been working as a Library Assistant for six months now, and boy has it been a massive jolt to my love of reading. It’s hard not to be excited about digging into a book when you’re surrounded by them all day, and I credit that feeling with being responsible for my reading more books for pleasure in the first four months of 2024 than I have in the previous seven years combined. As I reach a modest milestone in my reading for the year, I wanted to reflect on what I’ve observed to be a common theme among the books that have most captured my imagination since January. With the world having been in a particularly fraught state over the last few years, and an increasingly prevalent trend of groups of people being actively dehumanised by those with power and influence, it’s been quite an emotional experience for me to discover that the books which have most captured my imagination this year have been about personhood and what defines it.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (2020)

The first book I finished this year is one that I think about every day. Susanna Clarke’s Piranesi is a wonderful little novel about who we are at different times, and crucially different places, in our lives. It explores personhood through the lens of fundamental internal change; when we go through seismic changes, do we become different people or are we fundamentally the same?

Clarke uses magical realism and a meticulously well-designed alternate reality/dream world as a means of exploring the evolution of one’s own personhood, as well as an adoration of design, architecture, and place. Piranesi was invigorating for me as a reassurance that it’s okay to redefine oneself at different points in life, and that just because you’re a different person now, that doesn’t mean that the old you ceases to exist.

Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett (1996)

Terry Pratchett is so well known for being a satirist, that it’s east to forget how sincere and moving his work can be. After putting it off for many years, I finally started reading the Discworld books this year, and have been enjoying them immensely, and while I had a great time with the first two books in the City Watch sub-series, it wasn’t until the third entry that one of them really hit me, emotionally.

Feet of Clay is about golems (‎גּוֹלֶם). For those unfamiliar with Jewish folklore, golems are anthropomorphic clay constructs ordered to obey the commands of their master and animated via the inscription of the Hebrew word for truth on its head. Pratchett’s golems are slightly different in that they are brought to life by placing governing words inside their heads. Pratchett uses this to remarkable effect to build a story of self-ownership and self-determination. It was especially moving to me to see Jewishness used in this way – as something empowering rather than grotesque, which is a real rarity in Western fantasy writing.

A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers (2016)

The last book I wanted to talk about here was this second entry in Becky Chambers’ beautifully humane, space opera anthology, The Wayfarers series. A Closed and Common Orbit centres on two protagonists, one an AI learning to adapt to a life passing as a human in an illegal ‘body kit’, and the other a clone, bred for factory work, trying to help the AI make a life for herself.

As with her first book, The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, what characterises Chambers’ writing is her deep love for her characters, and the way that love manifests itself in this book is nothing short of miraculous. Sidra and Pepper’s parallel journeys are not merely about convincing others of their personhood, but rather convincing themselves. A Closed and Common Orbit is about finding a way of living where you feel most like yourself, learning to feel that you deserve for your needs to be met, and accepting that your loved ones see you as a person, even in times when you don’t.

All of these books have meant a great deal to me during a time where I have had to completely re-evaluate the ways in which I see myself. Genre fiction is not necessarily where I expected to find this feeling of personhood and recognition, but it’s especially exciting to have done so. There’s nothing quite like finding deep meaning in something you have engaged with purely for entertainment, and I hope to continue to do so as the year goes on.

#blusforjews #books #booklr #becky chambers #the long way to a small angry planet #wayfarer #nonbinary #getting back into reading #a closed and common orbit #terry pratchett #discworld #feet of clay #ankh morpork city watch #susanna clarke #piranesi #magical realism #fantasy #scifi #space opera #jewishness #jewish

[the-biscuit-agreement]

I've come across a lot of your fics and was wondering if you could maybe make a post listing all the fics that you're currently working on or atleast plan on continuing, just to keep track of them....

P.S. I absolutely love every single one of your fics that I've read till now, you are a gorgeous writer😊

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words about my writing!! You are so wonderful!

Secondly, I have listed my on going fics below in order of how long I think the fic will ultimately be, starting with the shortest first.

Miraculous

When Lucy Carlyle runs away to London, she knows she is starting a new life. However, she doesn't realise just how strange it is going to be until a small flying creature erupts out of the mysterious necklace she finds in her school bag. Suddenly she is a superhero, fighting alongside the mysterious Chat Noir while forced to negotiate all the drama of high school, including Norrie accusing her of having a crush on Fittes' most popular formal wear model: Anthony Lockwood.

Or:

The Miraculous Ladybug AU approximately two people asked for.

Daddy's work friends

A series of one shots about Lockwood and Co spending time with Barnes' two 'angelic' little ones.

What lies between the lines

When she arrived in London, Lucy Carlyle took up a job at the British Archives, spending her days determining which love letters, suicide notes and other collected paperwork could one day produce a visitor. It's a taxing job, made easier by king archivists and the presence of young agents doing research nearby. As Lucy becomes close with some of these young agents, she starts to receive love letters herself and finds herself using her under-utilised talents to try to work out who might be behind the notes.

Connections

Lockwood forms a psychic link with a dead young agent and the group try to use it to work out how the agent died with disastrous consequences.

Policy 8

Policy 8 was established in the hope of encouraging the birth of increasingly powerful agents. All agents 18 and over must accept the marriages DEPRAC assigns them. Agents between the ages of 16-18 can volunteer to enter the programme or else be forced into it due to minor illegal behaviour.

Lucy Carlyle volunteered. Anthony Lockwood was forced.

In an effort to protect the two teenagers from being turned into pawns in the games of the rich and powerful, Barnes ensures Lucy and Lockwood are married. But just because they aren't stuck as pawns, doesn't mean the teenagers aren't forced into the same dangerous games.

#lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george karim #locklyle #fanfic

[eddie-van-munson]

HII!! Just sending another request, i loved the xie lian one, I hope I didn’t spell his name wrong💀, im wayyy to obsessed with crossovers, and I also had a hard time choosing a character so I decided to chose this one, but anyways I’ll get started and the information about him is ok the wiki and more but let me get started (:

Can you do Eddie Munson With a S/O who has a Cutthroat personality from akudama drive?? thank you and have a good day (:

Warnings: Demo-bats, Mentions of Blood, Series Typical Violence, References to Chrissy's Death, Cursing

(I will get a "Read More" cut on this ASAP. I'm done with work for this week so I'll have more time to tackle my inbox! Requests are OPEN.)

***********

(Cutthroat: Child-Like, Pretty, Loyal, Volatile, Innocent Façade, Vengeful, Violent in the Protection of Friends.)

-So, again, I know NOTHING about Akudama Drive or what it is, but I did an itty bitty bit of research bc it was requested and I tried my best to incorporate it :^)

-Ok! So Eddie never knew you before all of the shit with Chrissy went down. I mean, he's seen you around school, and he's always been intrigued...

-You just moved to Hawkins at the start of the year and you are something else. You are tooth-rottingly sweet.

-You're soft and giggly and you're always wearing all of these gentle baby blues and pinks. Always smiling so big.

-Of course, Eds is not much of a pastel guy, but he has admit that they look very pretty on you

-Or maybe you're just pretty and the colors have shit all to do with it

-Every time Eddie passes you in the hall he can hear you humming along to some little tune in your head.

-Ridiculously endearing, really. It should be illegal.

- Anyways

-He's hiding in the woods, curled up on the ground beside Skull Rock when he hears someone say his name softly. His eyes flutter open to find you kneeling over him, and he definitely thinks he's dreaming.

-But then you turn over your shoulder and call out, "I found him!"

-He panics for a second, a pang of betrayal in his chest. Oh god, he thinks. You're in the search party.

-He sits up too quickly and shuffles backwards, ignoring the surprised look on your face.

-But then he sees Dustin running up through the woods and he immediately breathes a sigh of relief, his hands shaking with left over adrenaline.

-Turns out you're Harrington's little cousin.

-Which Eddie finds very hard to believe

-You'd been at the Family Video when the "Purchase History Database Search" began and you'd insisted you wanted to help look

-Steve tried to put his foot down but you were not having it. "You haven't seen her when she gets angry man." He argues, defensively. "She hulks out."

-Which Eddie finds even harder to believe.

-Some part of him is so relieved to see you, though. He's been living with the mental image of Chrissy's mangled body for days, and the sight of someone sweet and happy...someone who's gentle...it takes a massive weight off of his chest.

-It's such a stark contrast to what's been living in his brain.

-You're unofficially roped in after that.

-A few times you bring Eddie groceries and sit on the old, stained couch with him for a while and talk.

-Your voice is quiet and you make him laugh. Those short conversations are literally the best thing he's got, right now.

-Your grocery selection always makes him giggle. Cereal, Canned Soup, Crackers...Jumbo size bag of marshmallows??

-It becomes increasingly clear to him you have a sweet tooth.

-Sometimes you even draw him funny little pictures and notes and leave them in the bag. Other times you send him old, familiar chapter books from Elementary School.

-You seemed to have been fond of Nancy Drew and Little House on the Prairie.

-He's surprised how much he enjoys them.  And he likes seeing your name written on the inside cover.

-He begs you to stay behind when the others row out to look for Watergate.

-He argues with you about it for a while.

-"I don't want you going down there. You don't get what this shit is like. It'll fucking scar you for life."

-"Eddie, I'm coming with you."

- You're getting frustrated and finally Steve chimes in again, "I'm telling you, man. Don't make her mad."

-He can see from the look on Harrington's face he's not going to be able to change your mind. He sighs, "Fine. Whatever. Get in the boat. It's your funeral."

-You grin so brightly that Eddie's heart aches.

-As soon as Steve dives down, you're pulling off your Cardigan. Eddie's blood runs cold "No no no no no-"

-He grabs at you, but you're in the water before he can stop you.

-"Fuck! You little shit!!"

-Robin just cackles at him.

- By the time Eddie gets through the gate, he can only see flashes of you and Nancy through the swarm of bats.

-He panics, screaming your name as he sprints towards you.

-The closer he gets, though, the more he realizes that you are, in fact, not the ones getting ambushed.

-The bats are.

-Jesus, you are ruthless. Yanking bats off of Steve's chest by their shriveled wings. Crushing them beneath your heels. Yelling as you grab them out of the air and throw them to the ground.

-Nancy is killing it too, like, shit.

-He's finally able to get to you when the swarm thins, joining in the attack until the very last bat is smashed. Nancy runs to Steve, and Eddie holds a hand out to you where you've fallen, helping you up.

-Your clothes are spattered with thick, nasty blood and sludge. All the way down to your perfect saddle shoes. You wrinkle your nose a little, checking your knees where you'd scraped them, and Eddie smiles.

-"Holy shit. That was crazy! You're, like, a fucking warrior goddess or something! I should have been trying to get you to protect me!"

-You giggle, blushing. "You were trying to protect me?"

-He goes BEET red, sputtering and scratching his neck. "Well...I uh...it's just that..."

-You grin knowingly

-Eddie's heart thuds and his voice cracks as he  quickly changes the subject. "I'm sorry about your clothes."

-You shrug, "They'll wash, I suppose." Your attention catches on one of the splatters on your arm. You try and wipe it, but it smears. "It's kind of a pretty color, anyway."

-You blush at the look on Eddie's face, some odd combination of awe and disbelief, and run off to join Nancy.

***********

#eddie munson #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie imagine #eddie imagines #eddie x reader #eddie x you #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader #eddie munsen x reader #eddie munsen imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munsen

[new-tella-us]

Alright last mom! 

Omaizel  The Harem Girl  

(TW R@pe. This is Damien’s mom, if you know Damien’s route, you know why this warning is here) 

Not much is known about the deceased harem girl. She was a succubus with a shadow demon lineage and was born in the common area in the Lilith kingdom. When her kingdom got raided by multiple powerful entities, she would be captured, escape and be captured again over the course of many years spanning her childhood. It was also reported...or rather rumored that she might have had a twin brother; though if she did, he succumbed to his fate years before her last capture. 

Her final captor would be the Demon Lord himself, and he was going to make sure that she didn’t escape. Using a magic chain powered by the Demon Lord’s lifeforce itself, she was trapped within the castle walls unless the Demon Lord dies, or someone uses holy magic to block or destroy the curse entirely. This curse ended up being her undoing. She watched as her youth was spend being used for pleasure by her captor. 

In Damien's Good Demon War Ending, James would find a large stack of books in the dungeons where the harem girl used to live. Apparently, she was one of the few common demons that learnt how to read and write. And those books, those diaries, would tell her story. 

Her name was Omaizel and she was once a simple girl with a twin brother. Her incubus father was a well beloved blacksmith, her shadow demon/succubus mother a holistic doctor. They didn’t have much, but they were happy in their family of four. That would change with the first raid on their small village, it would be the last time she would ever see her parents. From there, she would come up with increasingly elaborate ways to escape her captors with her brother. On of those captures, her brother would sustain wounds that would inevitably kill him and just like that, she was on her own. 

During her time with the Demon Lord, her notes would become increasingly more desperate. She was just 20 years old (in human years) when she was captured and day after day, he would enter her chamber just to defile her. She was losing her mind and that would only get worse when she realized she was pregnant. 

When Izroul was born, neither his existence nor hers could be hidden from the wives and they became furious. Some were angered by her existence and the role she played, some angered by Izroul’s existence and what that meant for the royal lineage, others still were simply mad at the Demon Lord’s cruelty/infidelity. As a response to their fury, the Demon Lord sealed their physical forms away under the same curse that kept Omaizel tethered to that damned castle. Life became utterly miserable. Omaizel wasn’t mother material, she was short tempered and far too ambition to be defined by motherhood. Plus, having a baby meant sneaking around the castle to find any way out or any way to kill the Demon Lord was near impossible. She was stuck raising a constant reminder of how horrific her life turned out. 

Don’t get her wrong, she did love Izroul. There are multiple passages in her diaries documenting Izroul’s accomplishments and showing a deep care for the boy, but he was still walking trauma for her. And then there was the mindreading. There is a noticeable rise in intensity in the way she writes from about 5 years into Izroul’s birth, right around when he would have developed mind reading. She speaks of not being able to have any privacy and the fear that her every thought would be known by at least one person. She couldn’t let herself express a single negative thought or doubt or else Izroul would hear it and comment. It was maddening. 

Throughout the years, the writings would become more erratic as Omaizel slowly lost her mind. Some pages of her books were filled with illegible scribbles, or the same words written over and over again, and some pages were ripped out. She seemed to hit her breaking point around when Izroul was 16. She couldn’t take being physically assaulted by the Demon Lord and mentally assaulted by her own son. For years she tried to find ways to kill the Demon Lord but, with no end in sight and a need for peace of mind at least, she would switch her goals to kill her own son. 

This was not a decision made lightly, she considered the option from when the boy was 10. It took 6 years to finalize that this was what she needed to do for her own sanity. Her plan was simple. Get him to focus on her thoughts, make a shadow clone and have the shadow clone stab him in the heart. It would be a quick and nearly painless death in her eyes. This was mercy, she would write, as death is probably better than enslavement if her experience says anything about that. 

And the rest? Well... Izroul isn’t dead and Omaizel isn’t alive. So... yeah. 

In Damien’s Demon War Route, Omaizel is still dead but, someone new appeared. A small, fluffy, light orange, tabby cat started seemingly following Mika around her home. The cat seems to like Mika and Damien a lot. It would even follow them into the Demon World, acting as a sort of spiritual guardian, keeping the Demon Lord’s magic at bay. When the route is over and James -led by the tabby- finds the books, the cat runs away, never to be seen again. 

For the people Omaizel liked and hated. 

Omaizel loved her old family. Her parents and brother were her favorite people. 

Omaizel both loved and despised Izroul. He was her son and a kind soul but his mind reading drove her insane. 

And of course, Omaizel hated the Demon Lord for everything he put her through. 

#seduce me the otome #seduce me demon war #seduce me the complete story #seduce me damien #rewrite #backstory #backstory change #tw sa

[space-justice]

as a woman, with notably curly/messy hair, and what some people would gently refer to as nerdy tendencies (and others have referred to as obsessive), I spent much of my childhood/early adulthood being called hermione granger.

which is fine. I like hermione granger as much as anyone else, wanted to be her when I grew up etc etc. but I am increasingly convinced that either this is slander, or the representation of hermione in the first few books is slander (I do prefer to think of myself a bit more like Annika from the tv show Annika - a bit morbid, a mess, and seriously unfunny except to myself)

I unfortunately went through a few iterations of having friends who had the tendency to treat me like google and grammerly all at once, but certainly, that was not my main function as a nerd. was it a priority? yes. did I have a need to feel useful so they wouldn’t stop being my friend? yes. I did do my own shit around it though

now, it’s been a while since I’ve read the Harry Potter books, and I appreciate that (from memory) there was inclusion of some randomised rants on intellectual topics (goblin wars maybe???) but I believe hermione granger would’ve gotten to the wizarding world/Hogwarts and gone:

1. There’s magic!!! Learn all the magic

2. How to learn all the magic?

3. Potions to expand brain capacity, spells to expand memory? cue hermione attempting magical brain surgery her second week of Hogwarts…

4. Can I invent a spell so I can read faster? write faster? think faster???? she basically tries to reinvent stimulants and rewire brain function in a month, before discovering potions for that already exist

5. THERE ARE SHRIKING SPELLS? portable library

6. Alright, too many possibilities to explore, how to increase the amount of time in a day (canon did explore this, but I refuse to believe hermione ever handed that time turner back willingly)

7. Sleeping and eating is getting annoying (as someone who went through this phase in high school, please try to be healthy) - can I magic away the need to sleep or eat without becoming a vampire? (you know how burnt out gifted kids abuse caffiene? I suspect Hermione would’ve had a pepper up addiction within two years)

8. transfer knowledge directly into my brain? can’t? fine fuck it

9. Harry! shit forgot to focus for a minute

10. are there even copyright laws here? I could copy ALL the books

11. there’s a spell that can make people do whatever you want??? okay good to know

12. it’s illegal? fuck

13. they can trace the spells you do here??? how do you undo that (wherever there’s rules there’s loopholes)

14. okay, there’s discrimination against a major part of society that I’m a part of, time to pull out my biography’s on leaders of social justice movements. I wonder whether I should be writing a manifesto?

15. write a plan for government improvement, just for fun

16. write a backup plan to take care of the government, just for fun

17. learn locking spells. really good ones.

18. I can literally create water out of thin air and I’m stuck sharing a room with people I don’t like this is bullshit, time to find/make alternative accommodation

19. oh god, Ron and Harry.

20. Nicholas Flamel? I wonder if I can invent a spell or if there is a spell to be able to find words in a book, to narrow a search

21. I wonder how long it would take me to get through a shelf of the library? a week? two weeks?

22. there are so many more but this list was getting too long, hermione is obsessive, okay?

#harry potter #hermione granger #actually obsessive #this would all be in the first two weeks #all based off things I did in middle school/high school for fun #adhd hermione

[poetry-protest-pornography]

“get biden in as president or the county’s going to become facist hellhole, how dare you complain about voting feeling like pissing into a hurricane” We’ve got biden as president right now we’re still falling into a facist hellhole , THATS WHY WERE COMPLAINING.

I said don't complain about voting.

I said don't complain in a way that got people not to vote last time, because "both sides" and "voting is pointless" and "but he's..!"

If you think that the current state of affairs is all on Biden, you're not paying attention.

But please, do enjoy feeling like you're scatter than me, because you read my post in a way that let you yell about stupid you think I am, instead of reading what I actually said.

There isn't a choice in who to vote for. There isn't really ever a choice in US politics, it's red or blue, and red has been actively working towards fascism for decades.

The reason shit is so fucked up right now, is for the last several election cycles, too many "both sides" idiots got loud and stayed home, and made it so other people stayed home-- because that's what your "complaining" does, makes people feel hopeless, and give up-- and we got increasingly violently bigoted Republicans in office across the country, and into positions in the federal government and SCOTUS.

So, honestly, shut up.

I don't really care how much you dislike Biden, or the rest of the Dem representatives in DC. I also don't like them. But none of them are trying to make me illegal. I'm not afraid of the people in my neighborhood with Biden Harris bumper stickers and BLM/Love is Love signs in their yard, I'm terrified about the man at the end of my block who covered his car in Trump stickers, and gun stickers, and symbols of white nationalist groups when Trump took office.

"Both sides" is bullshit.

Vote, or don't and let your vote go to fascists by default. That's reality, and it would be great if everyone stopped pretending it's not.

#if y'all could just fucking read that'd be great #also I'm not going to respond to more of these. I've had the same argument a dozen times and it's exhausting #us politics