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simplyclary · 2 years

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A Story of Finding Comfort in Benedict Cumberbatch

(Photo credits: Charleston Festival)

[Long entry ahead, so grab yourselves a cup of tea and relax while reading this story.]

Preface

As I am writing this entry and trying to channel my inner Dr. John Watson on this afternoon of June 28th, 2022, I'm still thinking about a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch in a wetsuit and he looks like he just got off of a surfboard. He looks utterly handsome and very relaxed. While looking at the picture, I just found myself whispering "You deserve it" to the picture as if I'm really saying it to him, knowing that he has been working non-stop for the past year and he really deserved a holiday.

I am also currently writing this with my Doctor Strange plushie by my side, as well as my turquoise water bottle, a copy of Benedict's biography and a book that was the inspiration for this entry: "This is not a book about Benedict Cumberbatch" by Tabitha Carvan.

This entry is more than just me obsessing over him. It is really a story about how a man who doesn't even know me became the comfort that I never knew I needed. I mean don't get me wrong, a lot of things can comfort me but he just does it on a level that I can't explain. Everyday, I think and sometimes daydream about his eyes, his hands and fingers, his cute and cheeky smile and of course, his cheekbones.

Who would have thought that me, a 22-year old fresh college graduate who should be focusing on more serious things like looking for a job is writing this long blog entry about someone who is miles away from me. Someone who doesn't even know me. How can he comfort me when he's not even here by my side or something?

Well, he just does and I have never felt so comforted in my life.

PART ONE: CUMBERBATCHED AT FIRST SIGHT

The following chapter spans from 2017-early 2018 CHAPTER ONE: A STUDY IN STRANGE

It was in the last quarter of 2016 when I first saw the name of Benedict Cumberbatch. I could not really recall where I saw it or when I saw it, I just know I did. It was either on the poster for "Doctor Strange" in the mall or on the television because of the press tour for the same film. I didn't really know who he was or who this character was until I saw the film on February 2017 when it arrived on digital.

Instantly, I was captivated by his eyes and voice, amid the fact that he was doing an American accent as Strange, which somehow led me to believe that he was American only to find out that he was British later on. I finished the film without any reviews or whatsoever, I just thought it was great. I did not mind him for the remainder of the year, but my brain somehow took a photo of his face which kind of came back to me in 2018. I somehow think that I have a photographic memory because he is one of those people whose face my brain wasn't able to forget.

During the first week of April 2018, before the press tour of Avengers: Infinity War rolled through, me and my family went on a trip to Hong Kong and on the first day, we went to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum and guess what, the first figure that I saw the moment I walked into the door was Benedict. I couldn't believe it and I kind of said aloud while I ran towards the figure "DOCTOR STRANGE!". My mom had to shush me down for me to not make a fool of myself. I had to take photos and to this day, I still consider that my "first meeting" with him. The rest of the trip just passed like waves and before I knew it, I was back home in Manila.

Towards the end of April, I saw Avengers: Infinity War in the cinema with my family. That film was such a rollercoaster ride. It was action-packed, emotional, the visual effects are just stunning. This film, let me tell you, was the one that made me fall head over heels with Doctor Strange and of course, the man who makes him magical, Benedict Cumberbatch. I'm also not going to lie when I tell you that I mourned for him (and also Tom Holland's Spider-Man and a couple others) when they got snapped away.

It was towards my high school graduation when I fell for him and believe me when I say that a picture of him was my phone's wallpaper during the day of my high school graduation. If you're curious about what picture it was, it was a promo picture for Star Trek: Into Darkness where he was looking downward in a diagonal direction and he was wearing a greyish-blue hoodie with a leather jacket. Still, it is one of my favorite Benedict pictures to date.

To be fair, this is already a lot but it's only the beginning.

I basically entered the next and final chapter of my student life with him and being his fan in college is something that I will never regret because this is where I needed him the most.

PART TWO: OFFICIALLY SHERLOCKED

The following chapters span from mid 2018-early 2020 CHAPTER TWO: THE SHERLOCKIAN FRESHMAN

Before officially heading into college, I really delved deep into the "cumbermania" amid being years late to it. That didn't stop me at all. During the summer of 2018, I binged Sherlock online and at the first episode, I was instantly hooked and I found myself trying to solve the case and deduce stuff alongside Sherlock and John. I can no longer remember how long it took me to finish the entire series, but it could've been less than a week.

While watching Sherlock, there were times when I'm in a daze. I cannot deduce as to why but maybe it's because of the close-up shots of Sherlock's beautiful eyes. If you have not figured or looked hard enough by now, you can see that his eyes can be different colors. This is because Benedict has central and sectoral heterochromia, the former means that his eyes can change color depending on the light (it can shift from blue to green or a mix of both) while the latter means that if you really look close up on his right eye, you can see that he has a sort of a freckle at the top of his pupil.

Apparently I wasn't that late to the hype, I guess. On one spontaneous trip to the local bookstore, I found this book called Sherlock: Chronicles with his picture on the cover. Of course, I knew I had to get it but sadly, I did not bring any cash with me that day so I knew that I had to go back in a couple of days. On the day that I went back to the bookstore, I quickly purchased the book and went back home happy and excited to read it. The amount of behind-the-scenes and pictures of him and the cast was just flowing from the pages and I had a fun time just browsing through the pages. That book, along with a few other books, remains to be one of my most prized possessions.

I entered college after a couple months of vacation, which really sped through because I really didn't do anything but binge Sherlock and many of his other works like Parade's End, Fortysomething, The Hobbit, Star Trek, Imitation Game, Third Star and Patrick Melrose among others. Prior to school, I did also virtually meet some people with the same interests as I have and little did I know, I would be connecting with a couple of them in school as well.

CHAPTER THREE: CONNECTING WITH THE COLLECTIVE

Entering college and entering a new fandom in the same year was a pretty surreal experience. As an introvert myself, I didn't really talk much to people I didn't know, both in real life and online. I find connecting with people online just as hard as connecting with people offline. I don't know why but apparently, I get anxious. I do admit to have a bit of social anxiety especially with situations that are beyond my control. Anyways, let's not talk about that.

Entering a new fandom was a slow and steady paced experience for me. I first follow some pages on Twitter and Instagram and then like tweets or comment on posts and then the same routine over and over again. I wouldn't say that I'm extremely close to the members of the fandom, I do interact with some of them but that's about it. I also don't know most of their faces, I sometimes only know them by their social media name and that's that.

I have been in multiple fandoms before, so I'm aware of the fandom names that are linked to the person you support. So when I joined the fandom, I instantly googled to find out what is the name of the fandom of Benedict Cumberbatch and when I saw that the name was cumberb*****s, I was shocked. As a feminist myself, I don't agree with it and apparently, so does Benedict. I mean, I never really proposed an alternative name for the fandom, but personally, I like "cumbercookies". I am open to other options for the fandom name, as long as both the fans and Benedict himself is pleased.

While further going in the fandom, there's always that tinge of jealousy that I feel, even until now. Jealousy in a sense of saying "Why can't that person be me?" I notice that this only occurs when people meet him in red carpet events or at premieres or at awards nights and such so typical fan behavior, I guess but I just tell myself that I would also meet him one day. Who knows?

I also situate myself at a point in the fandom where I am in love with him but not to the point I want to make out with him or anything. Just to be clear. I am kinda zooming in at times on his pictures but I admit that when it comes to his films and series, I still cover my eyes at specific scenes.

I thought that it will only be virtually where I will meet people who likes Benedict the same as I do. Apparently, the universe put me in a section where there was about 2 people who love him the way as I do, more or less and they are Jam and Dulci (I'll call them by their nicknames for this). Considering that I don't have a sister and it is only to my mom who I tell about fandom things, having real people to talk to about who makes you happy is just so important to me.

Dulci was also one of the first people in college who knew that I was a member of the fandom. She was also the one gave me a framed photo of Benedict during our class Christmas party. I do admit that the glass of that frame is broken but that doesn't really matter to me because the picture contained within is the picture of the man who doesn't know me but comforts me the most. Jam is one of my best friends and she constantly sends me things Benedict related and I do the same for her (but I send Tom Hiddleston related things).

CHAPTER FOUR: BENEDICT'S CORNER

You may ask yourself "Benedict's corner? What is going on with the title? What was the author thinking about?". Well, my dears, let me tell you. Honestly, I was inspired to have this title for this chapter because of a little childhood movie you may or may not know by the title of "Piglet's Big Movie". In that film, Pooh and Piglet had a little corner that is exclusive for them with the name of "Pooh and Piglet Corner". It is that little part of the forest that is mainly for them.

Benedict's corner, in my house, is located in a wardrobe with drawers inside. It is basically my little nook or corner where I keep everything Cumberbatch related. In that corner, I've got stickers of Doctor Strange in various styles and a drawing of Sherlock that I bought or someone bought for me in a university art fair. I've also customized myself a Doctor Strange bookmark that I use among other bookmarks when I read. I also have all the Sherlock Holmes stories. Admittedly, I also have stickers of a penguin and a hedgehog (which reminds me of him and his Sherlock co-star and friend Martin Freeman). I also keep a copy of his biography, Ms. Carvan's book that is NOT about him, my Sherlock: Chronicles book and my Doctor Strange Funko Pop in that same wardrobe. I also own a Doctor Strange plush toy, which I hug every night when I go to bed. Apparently, I sleep better when he is by my side.

Honestly, this corner also expanded virtually. I am a sentimental person so I tend to keep at least something related to him close by me. I have a green emerald heart keychain that a friend gave to me that dangles off my purse which I bring everywhere I go. My phone's photo gallery as well as an entire Pinterest board are littered with his photos and I'm not regretting saving every single one of them. To be honest, I also have an entire 32GB flashdrive filled with his photos, movies and series episodes.

This little corner of the house is something I like to keep private, just like everything else fandom related. In the household, only two people know of this little corner of mine, and those are my mom and my younger brother, who apparently, allows me to have them. In terms of social media, I also keep them private. My Twitter and Instagram are hidden from my dad but my mom and brother are aware of it to a certain extent.

CHAPTER FIVE: LIMITLESS LOVE FOR YOU

The last chapter is all about the material things that remind me of him but let me tell you that I am absolutely serious when it comes to being limitless.

Due to me living in the Philippines, which is a third-world country, I am limited to foreign content. Most of the foreign content that I get here is American content, which I have little to no liking for. With British content, it's a bit trickier and so with Benedict's, I resorted to streaming services in order to watch his work. I admit to sometimes using a VPN when streaming his work, because who knows, someone might be spying. Time zones also affects my consumption of content, it's either I stay up late or wake up earlier than usual to consume content from him, whether that be a premiere or a panel on YouTube.

Most mornings when I know that he is on a press tour, I eagerly await for new interviews and pictures of him because truth be told, that is what gets me going throughout the day. I somehow feel like I'm getting a kick out of just seeing his pictures online. I also somehow swoon extra when he does something sexy, amid not on purpose (removing his scarf as Sherlock, change costume as Doctor Strange, etc.). It is also because of him that I made going to London a part of my bucket list.

I have my limits when it comes to consuming content as well. I tend to stray away from horror (because as a bookworm, I have a wild imagination) and those movies with too many sensual scenes as well as those movies that I know would just bore me. With Benedict, these limits of mine were tested. I'm not your war/crime genre type of girl, but with him, I started to appreciate the genre of war/crime. To be fair, Benedict introduced me to film genres that I never thought I would watch like biographical films and period dramas.

He introduced me not only to these genres of film but also to the world of Shakespeare and theatre. I'm not a theatre nerd but I have to say that the amount of work that goes into a production is just admirable. I have seen bits of Hamlet and Frankenstein and I have nothing but praise.

Apparently, everything was limitless when it comes to Benedict Cumberbatch. Because of my consumption of his work, my reading up on the characters he played and having him as a celebrity crush and comfort person also affected my standards for men as well as my cultural knowledge. For the former aspect, I am not a hopeless romantic by any means and I definitely look for a loyal and honest person, so when he came into my universe, I somehow patterned my ideal partner after him. Call me too much but in this world now, who can blame me? As for the cultural knowledge, he sort of kickstarted my eagerness to learn more about British culture (words, phrases, food, places, etc.).

Lastly, I am not a master of impressions or accents like he is, but I somehow picked up a slight British accent because of listening too much to him but then again, can you blame me?

CHAPTER SIX: SEEING YOU AT THE ENDGAME

I really delved into loads of his work AFTER Avengers: Infinity War and diving into his work became a sort of a channel for my grief for Doctor Strange and the thought that he snapped away haunted me for a year. This is also the reason why when Avengers: Endgame was announced, I instantly had a glimmer of hope and at the time, who knew that he would be the one to also say the title of the next ensemble film.

Avengers: Endgame was something I really looked forward to in 2019. It was a cinematic event and people constantly brought it up in conversation. I had my own hopes, but amid that, I was still surprised by the film. I livestreamed the premiere night I watched it with my friends and family in the cinema and I cried the moment I saw Doctor Strange's picture at the beginning of the film. What really had me bawling was the scene where the portals showed up and all those who got snapped during Infinity War returned, including of course, Doctor Strange himself. I shouted, cried and my heart was pounding off of my chest due to excitement and just genuine happiness.

After Endgame, I thought that was it but fast forward to around July 20 of the same year, at San Diego Comic-Con, I had something else to look forward to. It was at this very convention that the sequel that Doctor Strange fans have been waiting for and of course, Benedict was there and I was at home somehow crying at my phone of happiness to know that I had something to look forward to.

Towards the end of the year, I kind of veered to other fandoms which is fine but of course, there's that internal conflict that I'm neglecting one fandom over the other. I do consider the stuff to look forward to and I'm updated about him no matter what and that feeling of neglect never really got the better of me. In fact, that little break was kind of what catapulted me to loving and appreciating him even more now.

PART THREE: A STRANGE TYPE OF COMFORT

The following chapters span from 2020-Present

CHAPTER SEVEN: TIME AWAY FROM YOU

When the pandemic started and everything was put on hold, apparently my fandoms were also put on hold. During the height of the pandemic, I was consuming less social media because I can't handle that amount of negativity. I took a break from ALL of my fandoms, include the collective and I started to somehow unfollow some folks online. I then found other fandoms which I joined and I became (and still is) a part of them.

I also paused from watching Sherlock and his other work and I also somehow stored my Benedict related things in the corner and I basically did not come back to it for the entirety of 2020. I was handling it fine but ultimately, the universe knew he was someone I need and I eventually came back to consuming his work. At the beginning of 2021, WandaVision premiered and it was a blast and I admit that I was one of the people who were hoping for a cameo appearance from Doctor Strange (which did not happen). Amid the fact that I am not yet fully back in the fandom, things were starting to get better and he was going on press tours for The Power of the Dog, The Electrical Life of Louis Wain and join Tom Holland in promoting Spider-Man No Way Home.

This time I had away from him and the fandom was proof that no matter how much I try to suppress or shy away from the person that gives me the most comfort, the universe will always find ways on how I will get back to him, and apparently, it made no mistake. To add as well, I came back to the fandom when I was in my FINAL year in college.

CHAPTER EIGHT: VOCALLY ENCHANTED

At the first part of this story, I mentioned that his voice is one of the things that I really love about him.

Truth be told, I am a sucker for people with captivating voices and Benedict Cumberbatch is no different. He made the hair in my forearms stand when I watched The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug where he played the dragon Smaug. He made me giggle when he mispronounced "penguins" multiple times in "The Penguins of Madagascar" when he voiced the James Bond-ish wolf Agent Classified. I live for his nasally annoyed voice in "The Grinch", which is one of my favorite Christmas movies.

I love listening to his voice in whatever medium, on the television, in the cinema but apparently, the experience is even better when I've got earphones on, listening to it on a laptop. I prefer this because his baritone voice makes my ears vibrate which never happens with normal music. Is that weird? Am I crazy or is this normal? Maybe because it's Benedict Cumberbatch. His voice is an art form itself. It can be molded to sound different in every single performance. Personally, I do think he has a good falsetto, no matter how deep his voice is.

A specific movie scene that really had me dazing was the scene in the film August: Osage County (which is that ONE film that he has with another favorite actor of mine, Ewan McGregor) where he not only plays the piano but also sings a beautiful love song. The song is short, but sweet. I could listen to it over and over again but never get tired of it.

I also had a law subject in my last semester of university where we were told to read cases every week. I am a reader, but I prefer fiction over politics. What only made the cases readable for me was when I read it with Benedict's voice in my head. I basically made my brain think that he was reading that case to me as if it is an audiobook which made things a tad bit interesting and understandable.

CHAPTER NINE: INSPIRED BY YOU

I am an advocate for multiple causes myself. I advocate for press freedom, animal welfare, environmental causes, women empowerment and mental health. So it is no longer a shock to me that the person who I look up to the most is also an advocate for similar causes.

I will forever be inspired by his kind and good-natured heart. Benedict is such a humanitarian and he will do anything, as long as he can, to help people and that is just heartwarming. He is also very caring, as a father, a husband, a friend, a co-star and as a person in general. The Russia-Ukraine crisis has been a headline for the past couple months and there are a lot of refugees. I was floored when I heard that Benedict and his beautiful wife Sophie took in a family from Ukraine into their home in London. It was amazing and inspiring. When I tell you that he is a real-life superhero, it's true and I'm not kidding. I couldn't ask for a better role model than him.

Benedict Cumberbatch is just one of the most amazing and most passionate and dedicate human beings on the planet and it shows. He is dedicated to about everything. He pours work into simple things like fitness and food. The work that goes into all the characters that he has played and will continue to play is just jaw-dropping. His charity work, again, inspiring. No words could really encompass my feelings towards these acts that just showcases his care for people and the world in general.

I will forever be in awe of his talents and abilities, his love for his family and friends, his passion for his craft. He is just an inspiring human being and I can no longer say anything else but that.

CHAPTER TEN: LOVING YOU IN EVERY UNIVERSE

This line. One of my favorite lines in the Doctor Strange sequel. Trust me, I have issues about the film but I'd rather not say it because I don't want to cause controversy. Amid these issues, this film remains to be one of my comfort films in 2022. You should have seen the film by now, but if you haven't, please do watch it.

Going by the logic of the sequel, dreams are windows into the lives of our multiversal selves (this line was also said in the film by Doctor Strange himself). In Disney logic, dreams are wishes that our hearts make (Cinderella, anyone?). In my own logic, it's a vision of what could possibly happen in the future or maybe it's because I think of him 24/7.

Why am I babbling about dreams? Well, that's because I have already dreamt of him not just once but multiple times. Of course I can no longer remember the content of the dreams because I forget them the moment I wake up, but going by whatever logic, I have already met him in another universe, my heart just wishes to meet him and I just want to meet him in general. I mean, who does not want to meet Benedict Cumberbatch, right? Well, haters may not, but that's another thing.

The thing is, through dreams, it is somehow proven that in every universe, I will love him because maybe he is an amazing human being in whatever universe and that's the truth.

CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE ULTIMATE COMFORT

Benedict Cumberbatch is that one in 14 million celebrities that can truly comfort me in a certain way that I don't understand. I mean, I have had other celebrity crushes before like Ewan McGregor, Andrew Garfield and Grant Gustin to name a few, but they don't provide me the comfort I need. Sure, they make me happy but they do not comfort me the way Benedict does.

I consider comfort in a sense that I can instantly smile or feel better at one sight of something or in this case, someone that I love. There were a lot of stressful moments for me recently like the political tension in my country, my last semester in college and just about everything that's going on in the world and he became my "rock" and source of sanity. I probably already went insane if it weren't for him.

During the beginning of 2022, I found that he is always there when I need him or when my fellow fans need him. It's like the universe has a way of sensing that the fans are in need of their dose of Cumberbatch goodness so when the fans need him the most, he comes out via a singular picture that can make us go crazy for a week or two. His press tour for Multiverse of Madness was a blast and it was absolute chaos and delight. That film was my motivator throughout tough days and I always thought that every passing day is a moment closer to me seeing Doctor Strange again.

In the press tour, I have no idea if he was tired or jet-lagged or drunk or just being himself, but every single chaotic moment or interview never failed to make me laugh, which I was really thankful for especially during the days that I was close to breaking down. He was my tether to sanity and I will forever thank him for that. He was also a sort of "company" for me when I feel alone. I feel really happy that he is in my life and I am thankful that I live in the same universe as he does because I couldn't imagine what my current life would be like if Benedict Cumberbatch wasn't in it.

Some of the things he mentioned during some press tours are also very therapeutic to hear and it invoked lessons that I never heard from anyone else like finding authenticity in everything you do, do not worry about pleasing people and many more. To me, those are life lessons and I would never forget them and I am thankful that they came from Benedict Cumberbatch.

CONCLUSION OF A DEDUCTION

I haven't fully figured out why he comforts me so much, why he makes me happy. He just does and I wouldn't have it any other way. He is a part of my life. Remove him and a part of me is gone. It's just like removing Disney from my childhood and I'm not going to be the person I am today. I won't even be as sane as I am if it weren't for his presence, at least virtually.

People may say that this is just a phase, but darling, it's a good phase of life that I am sure to remember for eternity. Even if I have amnesia or I forget stuff, I would just take one look at this blog entry and remember how a man with a weird name but charming personality became one of the reasons I reached where I'm at. Call me crazy or obsessed, but hey, it's alright to obsess over someone every once in a while because if not, life will be dull and boring.

It's maybe a coincidence (or just my procrastination) that I finished this entry today, July 19th 2022, and guess what, it's Benedict Cumberbatch's 46th birthday. For my simple birthday wish for him, I just want to give him a big virtual hug and thank him for being a part of my life and I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for him.

Well, this is a story of my life as a Cumberfan, and it is a life that I love living. I will continue to live this life and I will continue to love and support Benedict Cumberbatch until time tells me that it is time to stop. If only he knew how much he means to me....

#benedict cumberbatch #sherlock #doctor strange #comfort #sanity #life #happiness #gratitude #happy birthday

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familyofpebbles · 2 years

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Allison’s Vows

Hey, love of my life.

I think we’ve always been inevitable. I usually say soul mates- that concept is about as close as I can get to describing how I feel about you. All the way back before we fell in love, back when we were just barely friends, we were still always drawn to each other. Like we’ve known each other before- something felt comfortable and right. It just wasn’t time yet.

We met in high school, and when we eventually shared a class together we became the types to get shushed for too much talking and laughing and sharing the giant bag of gummy bears you had. We sometimes had study sessions at a coffee shop down the road aided by pizzas, and I always looked forward to those. But that was the extent of it. I remember often thinking how lucky your friends were- that they got to really know you and be a part of your life. I remember wishing that I could be in that inner circle too.

And as for you- at graduation, you wrote everyone letters. In mine, you wrote: “I very much wish our two lives were tangled about in a manner less separable. I have been… imprinted upon, if you could indeed read that phrase lightly.”

I moved away, you went to basic, we continued on our separate paths.

But one day, about a year later, while I was back in Bozeman for a visit, I heard that you were back in town too, though you’d be leaving for drill soon. I took the “soon” to mean “any minute”, so I suddenly decided that I HAD to see you before you left! I rounded up my friends who had driven with me, shoved them all in the car, and sped off to you.

We hadn’t spoken since I had moved, I think. And yet, when we saw each other, we threw our arms open and I ran to you to be swept up in a massive, feet off the ground hug. It felt like reuniting with someone I had known for decades and had missed terribly. We were both laughing and I think a little bewildered at our own reactions. Something in us had recognized the other again, pulling us in with a relieved snap. It reminds me of something a favorite fox of ours said, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

It took us another two years to start dating.

But once we were ready for each other, it only took a single day with you to fall in love. One day with you showed me a freedom that I had never before experienced. It is no exaggeration to say that you were the spark for profound change in my life. Over the course of our relationship you gave me respect and agency that I had never even known to expect for myself. You let me grow into a woman with boundaries, who loves saying “no”. You gently challenged long held ideas and beliefs by simply asking genuine questions. And you never pushed me in a certain direction- instead, you let me lead my own search for knowledge and supported me as I reconstructed my worldview. You were always a friend to me first. You put that before anything else. And as I developed a strong sense of self, a lot about me changed drastically since you had first known me, and you watched that transformation, and you loved me more for it.

And I watched you grow too- I saw you become steadier and more focused and patient. I watched you progress in your career and shoulder increasingly great responsibility. I even got to watch you become a leader, and develop your style until you became as comfortable and confident inhabiting that role as you are now. And, of course, you never lost your quick humor or your casual kindness to friends and strangers alike. You have always had a spark about you that just draws everyone in, and I love watching you entertain a crowd. (I think your voice also helps, and I love that too.) Best of all, we’re both still growing and so I never run out of things to love and admire about you. I am truly so proud of you- I want to show you off all of the time.

We spent so long imagining what our life would be like together. When things were rough, you used to tell me to watch the seconds pass on a clock- that they never had to be repeated, and each one brought us closer to better times. Now we made it to those better times. And the daydreams we had pale in comparison to the reality.

The first word that jumps to mind to describe our life together now is ‘easy’. Everything flows so naturally. You’re my best friend, and I know that I’m yours, and that makes everything so effortless! Communication with you comes easily and can transition from the serious to the silly without a hitch- from hours of thoughtful roadtrip conversation, to all the goofy jokes we make that keep us laughing far too late into the night. We’ve been living together for almost five years and still the best part of my day is when you come home after work and we get to hug and catch up as an unbearably long workday apart comes to a close.

We know each other backwards and forwards, know when to match energy or balance it. You are the moon to my sun. That synchronization gives such a feeling of security, knowing that whatever situation arises, we can get through it together. Nothing can become unbearable, because there is no doubt that you will be there. It’s a safety net of love and reliability that makes the rest of life feel so doable.

I love you so much that the fragility of this life can often be scary. But, that feeling leads to a deep appreciation of every single moment I get to spend as, now, your wife. It’s a reminder to savor even the mundane. You make me so happy to be alive. And even when we do go, I don’t know that a connection this strong ever really dissolves. Because of you, I choose to believe in… something. I believe that we will never be apart for too long. That, at the very least, when we’re gone the memories of us will be inseparable from each other. One of two. We come and go together now.

I’m supposed to be making vows. But what promises do I list when we make vows to each other every day?

They’re in every forehead kiss, and small surprise, and in switching the laundry for each other. They’re in those tight hugs coupled with deep breaths that just make anxiety drain away. Small stuff, like massages for sore muscles even when I’m sleepy, or trying very, very hard to make boba on your birthday. There are vows in grand romantic gestures and belly laughs until there are tears in our eyes, but also in holding space while we see each other through various pains- stability for each other at our lowest. They’re in the joy and wonder of experiencing new places together, and in never going to a new one without you first. Certainly in talks about children and parenting and the many potential pathways of our future together. Our vows are in baring our souls, over and over, so that we are like open and familiar books to each other, well worn and comforting.

So yes- Robert John Visscher- I vow to continue making these daily promises, and to never stop finding new ones to make. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health- same as ever. I love our story so far, and I am so excited that I get to keep living it with you. I love you more than I can ever fully express, and that would be frustrating if I didn’t know that you understand exactly what I mean.

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fanatichistory · 2 years

Text

The Dark Within Part 20

*Edited

Masterlist1 Masterlist2

This is it! The END!!!! Well, the end of Harbor City from Maven and Deimos’s story points of view lol I will be writing a lot more of Harbor City and everyone in it sooooo....no worries teehee.

It’s also really, really long too so heads up there as everything is wrapped up ^.^’

CW: Deimos is villain caretaker only to Maven, whumper to everyone else, Maven is Sidekick/former hero, some fluff/slight suggestive themes at the end with Maven & Deimos (don’t worry they’re not graphic but they do finally have their first kiss :D), tw smoking moment,

Deimos blinked awake slowly as light and sound came back. The soft plush of the couch from the cushioned his body...his body.

It no longer burned. The jackhammer had turned off, the smell was gone for the most part and as he bolted upright into the sitting position with a hand to his head he felt the locks of his hair.

Confusion instantly swept over him when another hand joined his and carded through his hair, a soft shushing noise sounded though it was muffled and ringing in his ear.

The bleary shape was that of a small woman and he instantly grabbed the hand she was carding through his hair and pushed it away. There were more shapes in the background, moving back and forth that she would occasionally turn too or wave an arm at.

Her arms came back to him as his vision became more focused and he was able to make out more of her features.

"Maven."

He pulled her face closed to his to make sure he was seeing correctly, not caring that his voice broke on her name or that the moving blobs in the background were people who were seeing a potential weakness of his.

A problem for another day.

"How?"

Maven rested a hand on his cheek, knowing all that he was asking in that one word. How did they make it out? How was he alive? How is he not scarred? How is she alive? The usual. She tried not to chuckle as she layed him back down on the couch and continued to heal him.

"You're not out of the woods yet boss, I'm still healing you." She grew concerned when he simply layed there and watched her as she snapped her fingers in front of his face to test his senses.

"Boss? Can you hear me, Boss?"

"Barely...But it's getting better." He reached up to play with her long hair as he reassured her. Breathing a sigh of relief, Maven continued working on healing him.

"How?" Deimos reiterated when she didn't elaborate from earlier. He watched her bite her lip nervously and knew instantly there were others in the room with them. "I see..."

His vision snapped back into focus and the others in the room came into clear view in the dim light. It was the other villains of the group and they were waiting for further instruction it would seem.

Oh what a time...

Deimos sat up, raising a hand and giving a 'forgive me smirk' to Maven when she protested, as he addressed the the group.

"Several of you are missing...please tell me it is because they are guarding the restrained heroes and watching over the children." He hated how tired and worn out his voice sounded, it wasn't the strong voice of a leader he was hoping to be, but he did just nearly burn to a crispy critter. Again. Something that seems to happen quite often around his little hero.

"You're correct boss, we only lost 5 Heroes, 3 Villains and 1 Civilian today. The rest are restrained with the rest of the group downstairs, we just don't know where to put them."

Deimos almost chuckled when they took after calling him boss just like Maven but was saddened to hear that they did lose people today. "The civilian?"

"A doorman. Got in the way." Another villain piped up, leaning against the wall. "It couldn't be avoided, they escaped they're restraints and fought like hell when we blocked the kids in the room. Wouldn't listen to reason." They added when Deimos had pierced them with a look.

"Then it could have been avoided." Deimos stood on legs that were steady and strong now thanks to Maven's healing abilities. He couldn't kill the villain over a doorman though, that was bad politics. He had no choice but to move on to the next task. Though he did make note of the Villain for some future shit detail.

"The warehouse we gathered at before the fight is where I want you all to bring everyone. That is my base and is now everyone's new home for the time being."

He held up a hand to halt the protests. "Until we clear this building of all it traps, from top to bottom, and can officially take it over."

"So I take it joining your group is a forever thing now?" Villain piped up from his hidden corner. Always chafing against Deimos's direction and leadership.

He was the second villain from that night when Deimos had went around the city putting on a show, the one that had questioned him rather than be terrified of him. This villain was the type to still question while somehow keep his head attached.

Maven had pointed him out as a recommendation for right hand along with two others when things with Maelstrom didn't pan out.

She also warned him that he could be problem and potential threat if the two didn't get on the same page and find common ground soon enough. That the others listened to him as well.

It reminded Deimos of his villainy days from back home that he grew up with raised under Supervillains tutelage. Only this villain was far more serious and focused than the one Deimos grew up with in Supervillain's penthouse.

"It always was." Deimos responded with a grim smile. "I called it a takeover for a reason."

Deimos strode around the room which was still nice and dimly lit the way he liked and knew Maven was looking out for him as the shadows grew in strength. Prepared at the ready to protect him if needed, as always.

"So...boss, or shall we call you City Councilman?" Villain continued, venom lacing their tone as he stepped forward with their lip curled.

"Boss will do just fine but it's still early." Deimos flicked his wrist as the shadows coiled around Villain's body and restrained him against the wall while simultaneously gagging him from further while he turned to address the rest of the villains and sidekicks.

"The Academy has power dampener cuffs and bracelets. I want every Hero, Sidekick and Civilian restrained down there wearing one before we move them. Team A is in charge of getting the vans from the garage packed and ready with supplies, we're going to go through them with the amount of people we will be having." Deimos waved off Team A as they went to pack the vans with enough food and medicine for almost 100 people.

Which was only enough to last them all 2 days. Rationed. If the calculations in his head were correct based off of memory from previous intel and that’s providing nothing had changed or was destroyed in the attack to change those numbers.

"Team B you're in charge of supply. Naturally, we're not on anyone's nice list but we need those supplies. No killing anyone who doesn't deserve it. I don't want a repeat of the doorman. Is that understood?" The shadows wrapped around the throats of each individual member of Team B as he spoke and squeezed tighter while he continued speaking to emphasize his point as he pierced daggers into the eyes of the careless villain from earlier.

When their eyes about bugged out of their skulls he let them go as they gasped for air and choked on their hands and knees while he heard Maven quietly giggle behind him.

"I don't condone wasteful killing. There is no gain in it. Now, Team B, we need food and medical supplies pronto so you will 'liberate' a food delivery trailer and take one of the vans and raid one of the medical warehouse for some basic first aid and trauma kits." Deimos stepped forward in front of them as they got to their shakily and looked about themselves while nodding at him.

"I'll also need you to pick up insulin, needles, and all the goodies that go with checking your blood sugar. We have 14 children who are diabetic and will need it tomorrow so do not waste time, this is important and time sensitive. Understood?"

"Those kids will get their insulin boss." The villain in charge of the team said, still a bit sheepish and too nervous to make eye contact yet.

"Just see that you mind my rules while you do so. I know having a crash course isn't fair but once we get settled I'll be sure to go over them so there is no confusion in the future." Deimos promised with a wide grin to them as reassurance as he sent Team B off to their mission.

Team C was all that was left, aside from D and E being downstairs with the kids and the restrained Heroes.

"I want you in charge of putting power dampeners on all the children and prisoners. The children get bracelets, they don't come off either and are functionally the same but I don't want them to feel like our prisoners."

"Even though they are?" One of them asked hesitantly as uncomfortable as everyone else about the matter.

"I can't have them homeless and running around on the street at the mercy of who knows what. We know what's out there, that it isn't just the Academy, but the kids don't know that. I want to preserve what little childhood they have left. Care to indulge a soft-hearted villain that much?" He asked them.

"Of course boss." Team C responded before they took turns adding.

"Yeah, we were just curious."

"And glad to know you're not...you know...bad bad...you know..."

Deimos laughed aloud at them and sent them on their way, telling them to inform that Teams D and E were to coordinate with A on transporting everyone to the warehouse and once done with that then their team was in charge of dismantling the booby-traps floor by floor once everyone was wearing their bracelets/dampeners and being transported by the remaining teams.

Once everyone had gone that left Deimos, Maven and Villain still strapped and gagged to the wall by his shadows in the room alone.

Now that everyone had their marching orders and Deimos had a second to breathe while he figured out how to reach and talk to Villain to get on the same page with when an acrid smell permeated the room and wafted through his nostrils.

How had he not noticed the smell of nicotine sooner?

He spun around looking wildly to find it's source only to find it sitting on the couch in the form of Maven who was currently zoned out and puffing away on a menthol cigarette as if she smoked them everyday.

Deimos stood stone still as he watched her.

She sat hunched over, one leg over the other with the foot bouncing. A faraway look in her eyes as she took long drags before reaching out to the ashtray and flicking the ash off into the dish when she caught his gaze.

A slow, predatory smile spread on her face as she held his eyes and trapped them in her own. At least he felt trapped there. Her behavior wasn't her own and he knew it. Never once had she smoked before, first and foremost, and second she would never behave in a way such a this. It was too much like...

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Deimos blood turned to ice when Maven spoke those all to familiar words and he felt his concentration falter, releasing his grip on Villain as his shadows let go.

Villain who was watching the whole thing quietly, with no clue as to the context as to what was going on. Only that it involved the past of a dangerous man and that the small woman on the couch had changed in the span of a moment.

Villain knew her from the rooftop, that she was both bubbly and shy, if that combo could ever be a thing. Maven is what he seemed to call her on several occasions today, though Villain was knew her as Shadow from that rooftop. That was further confirmed when Deimos called her that name, Maven, again as he stepped forward with an arm outstretched towards her.

And just like that, she blinked and made a face at the cigarette she was smoking and fanned the smoke away from her face in disgust. Jumping to her feet and eyes widening at the number of butts already in the ashtray without her knowing only heightened her fear. She wasn’t sure which villain she got them off of either.

"Deimos...I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what's h-happening..."

Villain took a tentative step forward towards her which earned the immediate attention of Deimos who put himself between them.

"I want to help." Villain raised his hands in surrender as he glanced between them. Wondering why he should want to. He should really just get the heck out while Deimos was distracted with her.

"We still have issues to work out. To get on the same page."

Villain laughed and raised a brow at that. "You mean you weren't just going to kill me outright? " Guess Deimos was still adamant about working together...

"I'm trying something new today. Maybe."

"I'm usually-usually trying to dis-dissuade him from killing without r-reasons..." Her voice was still stuttering and panicky.

Deimos was still watching Maven like a hawk as she nervously paced about the dim room. Effective at dodging furniture in the low lighting now thanks to her time with him.

In a way he was relieved that her stuttering was back. That meant it was her and not...him...his own Superhero nightmare. The one that had tortured and ran the rehabilitation program Deimos was in when he was first arrested as a boy.

Villain glanced between the two, briefly wondering if they were ‘official’ or not before deciding not to bring it up and instead move on to the matter at hand so as to get business out of the way and head out.

"Right, you said you wanted to get on the same page? So let's talk then and fast because I want to help her and I think I might be able to. I don't think you'll give me the information I need to, to determine if I can until we are on the same page so let's get it over with then." Deimos turned back to him with a dark smile that no doubt promised pain if Villain wasn't careful and minded his place.

"Alright. Talk." Deimos simply demanded as he guided Maven back to the couch as he sat them both down. He began to rub calming circles on her arm as she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as if her head hurt.

Villain was growing in concern that with her healing abilities...no. Villain needed to focus and not worry.

"What are you're plans for the city... exactly. In terms of running it, I mean. Will it be like Supervillain from Florens City? Or is it going to be Old Town all over again?"

Deimos took his time to take in Villains body language before answering him. Most Villains around here had no idea that the Supervillain from Florens was the same Supervillain who raised him and popped in to visit him from time to time.

Of course being the telepath that Supervillain is helps in concealing her identity and keeping their connection a secret so that Deimos could forge a name for himself like he always wanted.

Old Town, however, was a genuine concern a lot of villains had whenever they plotted whole town or city wide takeovers of any degree.

If they couldn't broker a peace treaty with the government in some way, through any kind of means, that usually meant said government sent a nuclear missile to wipe everyone out. That not only left everyone dead but an inhabitable wasteland for hundreds of years that also had repercussions on the surroundings cities and environment no one wanted and were understandably afraid of.

"I have yet to work things out with the government." He answered finally in truth.

Villain groaned and dragged a hand down his face in worry. The events of the day couldn't be undone and the government would send their agents to figure out what was going on here to to speak with them, or rather Deimos. The fate of Harbor City was in the hands of the city's youngest and most feared villain?

The newly minted Supervillain?

The shadow tendril from earlier had wrapped it's way around his throat once again as Villain caught sight of Electron through the door. He was cuffed and still unconscious, the two villains...were they all sidekicks now? Anyway, the two had Electron by his shoulders and under his arm as they dragged him to the elevator as the doors dinged open.

The knot in his gut twisting further as he wondered why Electron was the only board council member spared and what was to be done with him. The air in his throat closed off as the tendril tightened it's hold when it didn't get the desired reaction from Villain and he choked, reaching up to try and wrench it away as he turned back to Deimos who was watching him with unblinking eyes as he released him.

"Good to finally have your undivided attention." He murmured dangerously low, brushing back Maven's long hair as he gently layed her off to the side. She had fallen asleep on him.

"I saved Electron for you. Thought you might want to work some final words out with your brother before I kill him." Villain blinked in surprise at the blunt delivery but was otherwise unfazed that Deimos knew his secret.

"You had her gather intel on everyone up on the rooftop the other night." Villain stated it so it wasn't really a question Deimos bothered with an answer as Villain continued. "We have the same powers too, Electron and I, only mine are different. More passive. Growing up I could only affect electronics, turning them off and on and the like, or reading electric currents. My brother was the true gift. He could do so much more...always could..."

Deimos was silently listening as he leaned forward on his knees, his eyes tracking Villain's pacing as he told his story, now that Maven was stable and resting he surmised he had the time to hear Villain’s story.

Deimos was already aware of his powers and the fact that they were brothers but he had no idea of the beef that was between the two and he was listening intently.

"That why they call me Glitch. Because my electric powers are weak compared to my brother and I always failed all my tests. Electronics go haywire around me. Everyone says I shouldn't have been born." Villain/Glitch cried out in pain and threw his up as he spun to meet Deimos's unflinching gaze.

"I really am a Glitch!"

Slowly rising from the couch so as not to disturb Maven and wake her as she restlessly slept and walked over to him and stood in front him. Villain/Glitch was shaking with fear, having shared his story and waiting for Deimos's judgement, when Deimos pulled him into a hug that had Villain/Glitch's eyes practically bugging out of his skull but not from lack of air.

Villain/Glitch had not expected it, had not expected himself to share such a vulnerable part of his history either but felt the need to after having seen his older brother being dragged away as a prisoner and feeling like he could be next at the rate Deimos was taking over things in Harbor City.

But he did not expect the boogeyman to hug.

Pulling away and giving him a reassuring pat, Deimos looked him dead in the eye while the back of his hand held Villain/Glitch's head in place so the man couldn't look away.

"You are not a Glitch. And you are not weak. You were just raised to think you were, understand? You have powers I don't think even you know you have...powers that make you useful, that make you matter...Kye."

He flinched hard when Deimos said his name, his real name, proving that Maven was just that good at intel and that he had everyone's real name. Yet he couldn't look away from the unblinking eyes that stared into him and promised him... home.

A place within this city.

"Kye, do you know about your energy manipulation powers?" Deimos abruptly let him go and stepped back as he allowed Kye his space back to breathe again.

Kye blinked back hot tears and ran a shaky hand down his pant leg as he nodded. The stress of the day and the current topic was certainly getting to him. Not to mention the uncertainty of tomorrow didn't help...

"Good. You're going to save Maven." Deimos knew he was rushing it a bit but he had too. Her sleep became fitful and didn't sit well with him especially after her behavior earlier. She had perfectly mimicked him, his own Superhero torturer who was in charge of his rehabilitation program when he was first arrested as a juvenile.

"I don't understand...and you're not going to call me by my civilian name in front of the others are you? You're still going to call me Glitch?" Kye asked him apprehensively as he stepped forward to the couch and crouched, leaning back out of the way when Maven rolled over as her arm flopped in the direction of his head.

"You don't want a different villain name? I can gift you one as the new boss. You've earned it today. Everyone has."

"Well...I'll think about it. But for now just Glitch."

"As you wish." Deimos folded his arms nervously and sat on the arm of the couch on the other end by Maven's feet as Kye placed a tentative hand on her sweaty forehead as he closed his eyes.

"So what's with all these different colors? What did she all absorb?" He turned to Deimos, eyes still closed and scrunched in confusion. Deimos could see them move back in forth beneath the lids as if he was trying to keep up with something or see, he wasn't sure which.

"What are you talking about? What colors? What are you seeing?" Deimos's world revolved around what he could see and touch. It had nothing to do with energy or whatever 'colors' Kye was talking about.

"Tch. Okay, forget the color thing then. That's an energy/electric power person thing to understand I guess. What did she absorb?" Kye tone was back to his usual gruff and chaffing self, which was nice and all, except for the matter at hand.

"Not what, who...and three of them."

Kye broke contact then and turned to look at him with his mouth hung open in shock and fear.

"You look like villains don't normally kill people." Deimos chuckled.

"People like us...we shouldn't kill people like this. It's dangerous and that’s what's hurting her." Kye leaned back when Maven grumbled and turned over in her sleep. "She's lucky though, she’s already gotten through the worst of it on her own without dying. Now it’s just processing the memories which is normally done during sleep like this, so she is out of the woods you could say. But you have to understand... absorbing the energy core of one person is enough to potentially kill oneself with the overload of information-"

"She killed three in that way." Deimos interrupted as he got to his feet as upset and worry set in his body. She killed three that way and enjoyed it. Which scared him.

"And she's only restless and disgruntled. Like I said, she's lucky." Kye sat back on his heels and studied Maven's back of the head in thought.

"What's the overload of information you were talking about?" Deimos asked him, pressing for as much information as he could get since he knew Maven didn’t know and was learning much of her powers by the seat of her pants.

He should have stopped her sooner, power dampeners be damned.

"Some people can flow the life energy of another into their own. Like Maven can. Life energy consists of health energy, memories, thoughts and abilities." Kye explained as he got up from his crouched position.

"Wait. I knew about the first three, but abilities?" The puzzle pieces were slowly clicking back into place and he wondered how much Maven even knew about herself or if she was only just finding this out along the way. And if she did just find it out then why didn't she share it with him?

"Got chairs around here?" Kye asked instead of answering as he looked around the dim room.

Deimos scoffed before suddenly remembering that unlike him, he couldn’t see so well in the dim light and flicked his hand at the shadows as they did his bidding. The large room was in fact one of the many meeting rooms on this floor and the wall was lined with chairs.

The wooden table standing tall and leaning against it out of the way which opened the whole area while Deimos was giving commands earlier so he had the shadows move the conference table and chairs back in place. Gently setting it in place as Maven whimpered softly in her sleep on the couch behind him.

With another flick he sent a shadow to get a blanket from down below and lift from the linen closets from the lower sub floors of the Academy and drape it over her, effectively tucking her in while Kye took a seat in one of the chairs that the shadows had finished setting up now that the conference room looked like it had originally before the group moved everything off to the side to make room when he was passed out.

He was still unsure all that transpired in that time and needed Maven to recover to fill in the blanks for him. More than that though he needed her to be well.

"So, every living thing has an energy core right? It's what houses the life energy of that being. And life energy is what stores all the things that make up a person." Kye explained as he leaned an arm on the table. He tried not to appear bored, truth was he was tired as hell, he just didn't want it to come across that that way as he tried to explain what was inherently understood on a fundamental level to all people who’s abilities connected with it.

"Including their habits? Like smoking for example?" Kye nodded as Deimos sucked in a breath and took one of the seats himself as he, too, leaned an arm heavily on the table.

"And it will be like that for all three of them. " Kye continued as dread filled Deimos's gut. "Their habits, manner's of speech, their powers...I mean, they're all hers now. She absorbed them. That's why it's so dangerous.”

Kye pressed hoping that his new Supervillain boss understood and wouldn’t push Maven. That the two Superheroes and one Hero, that three people, were dangerous enough. That he had enough power now through her and to not push her further than she could handle and ultimately kill her.

"What happens when an overload is too much?" Deimos asked, almost unsure he wanted the answer. Deimos was unaware of Kye’s misgivings with him, fearful that he will view them as the Academy did, as Maven was the one who would always be the one to tell him such things when the Villains around him got to good with their poker faces.

On that note...

Under the table and without the knowledge of Kye, Deimos waved his hand and made a tiny shadow that gently made it's way to her and settled on the back of her shoulder like a tiny black dot. That way he could watch her, not be surprised like this ever again in the future and it would look like a mole on her skin while not even scratching the surface of his own energy to draw from to monitor her.

"The body burns up and has a meltdown." Kye was blunt when he finally answered but his tone was somber which led Deimos to think that he either knew someone who went through such a thing or seen it happen in one of those energy memory things Deimos had trouble wrapping his head around. Maven tried countless times already to explain to him before ending it with a ‘just trust me then’.

"I won't let that happen."

Kye was going to be sarcastic like he usually was to try and lighten the mood but the look on Deimos's face shut him right up and the fierceness in which he spoke so protectively while looking at her made Kye decide against it.

He instantly remembered the night on the rooftop when he fought Superhero, toyed with him really, just so Maven could get the intel on all the city Villain's before he instantly and simultaneously dispatched the present heroes while incapacitating the present villains.

He was a scary guy, a boogeyman, for a reason.

Without another word Deimos stood up and walked back over to the couch before pausing and turning back to him. Kye couldn't help but squirm a little under the intensity of the gaze but otherwise remained composed.

"Maven did a rather... in depth intel report with you...Electron was spared per her request because she wanted to offer you a chance for closure. To decide your own fate for a change, if you so choose it, and the fate of your brother."

"I thought you were going to kill him."

"Oh, I am. But how and when is up to you thanks to Maven's request. That's a story for another day though, you're own story. But know that you're brother's fate is yours to decide when you’re ready. He will be my prisoner until then."

"Thank you..." Kye stood from the table as Deimos bent down and picked Maven up. "You didn't have to do that, request or not."

"I'd also like you to be my right hand."

"You heard me. "

"W-What?!"

Deimos chuckled as Maven stirred a bit at the noise of Kye's outburst as she curled tighter in his arms and grumbled some nonsense words.

"Why?"

"Well, for one, that right there. Despite being scared of me, you still have the balls to question me. To put the welfare of the city first. I know we all wear the title of villain but that wasn't by choice for most of us. It wasn't for me."

Kye blinked in confusion as he digested this. The boogeyman didn’t choose villainy? Deimos turned to face him then, holding sleeping Maven still against him but he needed to make eye contact with him to drive the point home.

"Can you pick any of the other villains that fought with us today that would have questioned me about whether or not I was going to make Harbor City the new Old Town? I don't want that for our future. I want Florens city as our future and our city has the infrastructure in place, the trade resources and tourism...let's just say I've looked into it and I have all the paperwork we need to convince the government just waiting to be filled out."

"And if we can't? Convince the government that is..." Kye asked him quietly after a silent pause while Deimos waited, shifting Maven in his arms knowing this conversation with Kye was important and not wanting to just teleport through shadow out of there.

"Oh, I'll convince them. I'm the boogeyman after all."

"Boss, that's the kind of response that's gonna get us nuked." Kye groaned with his hand on his head while he shook his head back and forth.

Deimos just chuckled as he ported out of there and to the warehouse base with Maven. He had the shadows drop off the papers he mentioned that Kye would need to convince the government not to nuke the city for his newly minted right hand to fill out.

As he tucked Maven in to her new, though still temporary bed, he could practically see Kye throw his hands up in the air as he paced around the table as the shadows deposited file after file onto the table for him to do, giving him tonight's job.

Hoping to smooth things over with his new right hand, Deimos sent over toiletries, a pillow and blanket for the couch to make it a little nicer to sleep in later, and an extra large meal from what he was told from his intel report was his favorite drive thru. Which in hindsight probably served to unsettle the Villain further with how well Deimos really researched them all.

Zeroing his focus back in on his little hero, Deimos couldn't resist petting her hair as she slept. She was sleeping a little more peaceful now and that provided him some modicum of relief as he went about the small bedroom, lighting the candles.

He had the room specially prepared at the warehouse base in case Maven turned full hero and betrayed him, back in the beginning. Granted he was using it for other purposes now, having refurbished it and adding the plush bed with the candles for her to see by when she woke up later.

The pit in his stomach still continued to sink however. She had crossed the line. She didn't betray him, no he trusted her implicitly now, but she still had crossed the line with her powers.

It scared him.

"Deimos?"

"I'm here, little Maven." He sat down on the bed next her, relieved he didn't have to wait any long for her to wake. Usually when she power drained someone, she was giddy, hyper and super giggly. Seeing her like this, however, set his teeth on edge.

"Where are we?" Though she spoke more clearly and with less takeover of someone else, Maven’s voice was still tired and slow to him. He took that to mean that she was back in control of her own mind again as Kye had explained.

"At the Warehouse Base." He played with her hair some more as she groggily blinked up at him.

"So we won?" He smiled and nodded down at her. "Cool beans boss."

"Maven?" He leaned over her as made sure she was tucked securely in and comfortable. Deimos made sure to make all the arrangements beforehand, back in Supervillains Penthouse but with all the chaos of returning to the city he wasn't sure if everything had finished in time.

He was glad to find it was and that the Teams were still following orders and putting the kids in their new rooms. That the heroes and villains from the city programs were led to their cells for the night.

"Mmm?" Her eyes were closed tiredly but she turned over and grabbed his hand that was petting her hair as he stilled, wondering if she didn't like it. If he was out of bounds. He had made it a point to stay professional until now.

But just as his brain was short circuiting she began to pet his hand with her fingers and hold it close to her chest so he could feel her heart beating.

"I...I think I love you." He whispered in candlelit room as she opened her eyes and smiled sweetly at him in response. She reached up and circled her arms around his neck pulling him close.

She placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and hugged him close to her. "I love you to boss. So don't die on me okay?"

Leaning back to look at her fully he took her face in his hand while holding his weight on his other arm so as not smoosh her.

"Same goes for you. You don't get to die on me either. No more absorbing people like you did... because it did hurt you."

"I promise Deimos." Maven murmured as she gave him little pecks along his jaw. "You have your city like you always wanted..." another kiss on the cheek. "...the Teams are basically all henchpeople now really...all at your command." The last of the her sentence was a trail of kisses down his throat.

He pressed his forehead against hers as his eyes pleaded with hers.

“When you hurt, I hurt. Promise me."

"Are you trying to turn me on now that we're official?" He practically purred.

"Maybe..." She smiled at him. "Or maybe I'm waiting for the boogeyman to strike."

Deimos didn't need any further encouragement as he took her lips with his own in their very own first kiss.

Meanwhile, Kye was handling the paperwork in preparation for the incoming government agents. The Teams were handling the supplies and prisoner transfer as well as getting the kids settled into their rooms on the upper warehouse floors.

There was still much to do but they had tonight.

#supervillain oc #Deimos is now Supervillain!!!#villain x supervillain #villain x sidekick #villain x villain #The Dark Within series #whump community #final chapter #maven and deimos awwwwww #villain caretaker #former hero #villain x hero #supervillain x sidekick #whump writing #tw smoking #hurt/comfort #some fluff

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allthingsfangirl101 · 2 years

Text

The Visitor–Steve Harrington

"Really?"

I walked into the shop as soon as it opened. Normally, this kind of response to a customer would've fired the worker. Not this time. Not with Steve Harrington.

To give him the benefit of the doubt, I constantly came to Scoops Ahoy, but not to eat ice cream. To tease him.

Steve and I have been best friends since we were little. We were inseparable all through elementary school. In middle school, he started playing basketball but still made time for me. In high school, things completely changed. He started hanging out with the 'cool kids', and sadly, that did not include me.

Freshman year, he promised that he wouldn't let things change between us. By the end of the basketball season that year, things had done a complete 180 between us. I never saw him and he never talked to me. I officially wasn't cool enough for him.

Towards senior year, I noticed Steve start to change. He wasn't as focused on basketball anymore and he had completely left his friend group. Instead, one Saturday, I saw him hanging out with a group of kids.

He also started talking to me more. Not a lot, but anything is an improvement from how he was treating me. After we graduated, things changed even more. I started going to school not that far from our hometown so I stayed at home, and Steve started working at Scoops Ahoy.

Sometimes between classes, I'd come bother Steve and his coworker, Robin. After Steve stopped talking to me at school, I started hanging out with Robin. She eventually trusted me enough to tell me her secret. She told me how scared she was to tell me, but I instantly hugged her and told her that she will always be my best friend.

Robin and I instantly became Steve's worst nightmare. We quickly found out that it was extremely fun to tease him. And if we teamed up, his reactions were doubled.

"What do you want?" Steve sighed.

"That's no way to great a customer!" Robin shouted from the window directly behind Steve. I bit my lip, struggling to hold back my laughter.

Steve turned around and glared at Robin. When he turned back towards me, I put an innocent smile on my face.

"Ahoy," he said through his teeth. "I'm Steve Harrington. I'll be your captain. Would you like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me?"

"Aye ye, Captain!" Robin and I said in sync. We let out matching laughs as Steve rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," Steve sighed. "What do you want?"

"Can I get my usual?" I asked with a small giggle.

"Sure thing," he sent me a smirk before putting my order in. I tried to pay but he shook his head. "On the house."

"Steve," I sighed.

"Nope," he laughed.

I dramatically sighed before putting the money I would've used to pay for the ice cream in the tip jar. He laughed as he saluted me.

"I'll have it right out," he recited. "Give me a minute."

I jokingly looked around the room before glancing back at him. "You better hurry," I teased. "A line is forming."

* * * * *

"I finally figured it out," I heard Robin tease Steve.

"What did you figure out?" Steve laughed.

"Y/N."

"What about Y/N?"

"She's your mystery girl."

"Mystery girl?" He asked. "What are you talking about? You know Y/N."

"No no no," she laughed. "I meant that's the mystery girl you tragically can't be with."

"Robin," he shushed her.

"Explain something to me," she sighed. "You keep talking about this mystery girl, thinking I have no idea who you're actually talking about. I've known Y/N since high school. Not as long as you've known her, but still. My real question is; why can't you be with her? She's been your best friend since, like, forever. Granted, you stopped hanging out with her once you started dating that priss."

"I didn't do that," Steve stuttered.

"Oh come on," she sighed. "The second you started dating Nancy Wheeler, Y/N got pushed to the back of your mind."

"That's not true."

"It is," she said harshly. "You may not have talked to your best friend about what happened, but I have. And you may not have noticed what you were doing, but Y/N sure as hell did. You have no idea what you did to her, Steve."

Clearly opening up to her about Steve and my past was not a smart idea. Then again, we were both high at the time.

"Steve," she added, "you need to grow a pair and tell your mystery girl how you feel. If you don't, you'll lose her. And, this time, you'll never get her back."

I quickly went back to reading my book when I heard the door separating the kitchen from the lobby roughly open. I looked over my shoulder to see Robin with an angry glare on her face. She stormed into the restroom, slamming the door behind her.

Steve walked out of the kitchen and cleared his throat. I looked over to see him smiling hesitantly at me.

"What's with her?" I asked, pretending I didn't hear their entire conversation.

"Just pissed at me," he shrugged. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Okay," I said, clearing my throat before turning my attention back to my book.

Even though I was reading, I was more aware of Steve behind the counter. I looked up when I heard a small clinking sound. Steve had placed my ice cream in front of me.

"Thanks," I smiled. Before he could walk away, I quickly added, "Sorry about the jokes when I first came in. I was just teasing you and. . ."

"I know," he cut me off. He cleared his throat before smiling. "I wasn't offended, Y/N. This may sound weird, but I like when you and Robin tease me."

"Just say the word and I'll stop coming by and bothering you."

"No!" Steve said quickly. He cleared his throat before sitting across from me. "I just mean, I like when you come around. It makes the day bearable."

I quickly looked away before he could see the blush on my face. The conversation I wasn't supposed to hear kept repeating in my head. I hesitated and stalled by grabbing my ice cream and slowly eating it.

"You keep talking about this mystery girl, thinking I have no idea who you're actually talking about. I've known Y/N since high school. Not as long as you've known her, but still. My real question is; why can't you be with her? She's been your best friend since, like, forever."

I took a deep breath, gathering as much courage as I could. I opened my mouth to ask him but chickened out at the last minute.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he shrugged.

"Who's the mystery girl you were talking to Robin about earlier?"

I heard him suck in a surprised gasp, but I kept my eyes focused on my ice cream.

"You heard that?" Steve stuttered.

"A little bit," I shrugged, still not looking at him. I quickly added, "All I heard was something about a mystery girl you can't be with. Why can't you be with her?"

"It's complicated," he sighed. I took a shaky breath before looking up at him. He was staring at his hands that were folded on the table.

"What do you mean?"

"Other than the fact that she probably doesn't feel the same way about me?" He scoffed.

"How do you know?" I stuttered. I cleared my throat and went back to eating my ice cream.

"Because I don't deserve for her to feel the same way about me."

"Steve," I started but he kept going.

"I completely turned my back on her," he started to ramble. "I allowed basketball and the stereotypical bullshit of high school to ruin the best friendship I've ever had. How can I leave my best friend for a stupid game?"

"Steve," I tried again.

"And besides," he sighed, "she and I have a complicated past."

"We don't have a complicated past."

I snapped my mouth shut when I realized what I just said. I looked down at my empty ice cream bowl, but soon it was slid across the table away from me. I looked up to see Steve looking at me with knowing eyes. I held my breath as he stood up. I looked away, thinking he was angry with me. My heart jumped into my throat when he slid next to me.

"How much of mine and Robin's conversation did you hear, Y/N?"

"Not that much," I stuttered.

Steve leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. We sat next to each, our lips moving hungrily in sync. We finally broke the kiss when neither one of us could breathe.

"I may have heard your entire conversation with Robin," I whispered.

"Yeah," Steve chuckled. "I got that."

He leaned down and pressed his lips back to mine. We instantly got lost in the kiss.

"Hey, dingus!"

We broke the kiss and looked over at Robin smirking at the two of us.

"As happy I am that this FINALLY happened," she sighed dramatically, "you're still in the middle of your shift."

"Come on," he chuckled. "Can't you cover for me?"

"Hell no," she scoffed. "I'm not working an extra shift because you finally gathered the courage to tell your best friend that you're in love with her."

"Robin," he hissed at her. "We haven't gotten to that part yet."

"Hey," I said, making him look away from a smirking Robin. "How about we talk about that part tonight at dinner?"

I glanced over at Robin and couldn't hold in my laugh as I added, "After your shift."

"I'll swing by and pick you up at 6," Steve said, slightly scooting closer to me. I smirked when I thought of the perfect teasing comeback.

"Promise me you won't show up in your uniform, sailor."

Steve laughed as he gently grabbed my chin and pressed his lips to mine. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. My face burned as he breathed me in.

"I promise."

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #joe keery #joe keery imagines #joe keery x reader #joe keery POV

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proserpina-magnus · 3 years

Note

how about reggie with a s/o who has an oral fixation? <33

Absolutely! I literally love this prompt. Mwah. (Also, this is a bit short, sorry!!).

S/O With a Oral Fixation (Regulus Black)

Prompt: Reader sucks off Regulus in the library.

Reader: n/b

Word count: 1.5k

Warning: smut (oral, male receiving), finger sucking, risky sex (in public), “lovely, love, baby”, soft dom Regulus, oral fixation, and spelling mistakes.

Regulus didn’t know why, but it became pretty clear in the first few weeks of dating that you had an oral fixation. He wasn’t sure how this occurred and he wasn’t going to ask in case it was personal, but he always became weirdly worried whenever you always began to chew on your hoodie strings or fingernails.

He found it gross at first, he won’t lie. He always mumbled something like a “don’t do that,” or “take that out of your mouth,” he felt like he was watching over a little kid.

He didn’t want to indulge himself into letting you keep this bad habit, but before he realized it he was replacing your chewed up hoodie strings with his fingers. At first it wasn’t sexual, a simple replacement for the already abused strings and ridged fingernails.

Soon you had become reliant on his fingers, instead of reaching for your hoodie strings you would suck on his fingers. He noticed that half the time you didn’t even realize what you were doing or the way it was having an effect on him. And when his friends began to tease you about it, he snapped at them. Without realizing it, Regulus began to like whenever you seeked him out just to suck on his fingers.

“Baby don’t do that,” he scolded you quietly in the library, you looking up from your book pages not understanding what he meant. He gently took his fingers from your mouth and you puttered at the loss. “M’sorry,” you mumbled embarrassed, wiping your wet lips on your jumper sleeve.

Regulus sighed, rubbing your head gently as he cupped your face in his rough hand. “You can do that later, not right now. We’re in public love,” Regulus promised and you nodded. Your heart felt heavy and with the scolding he gave, you felt a need to suck on something. You ran your tongue across your teeth, sucking on them to try and soothe the urge but it wasn’t enough compared to his fingers.

You lost interest in your book, sighing while laying back in your chair as your eyes fixated on his fingers. You watched him turn the page of his potions book, your eyes following everytime they moved.

You had waited a good few minutes, making sure Regulus was deep in thought before you took his hand and slipped his fingers into your mouth again. Your eyes closed in relief, sighing out deeply as you were finally given something you wanted.

Regulus had snapped out of his daze once he felt his fingers in your mouth, his chin in his hand as he watched you suck on his fingers. You were really such a simple thing.

“I’ll tell you what,” he caught your attention, your eyes snapped open as you pulled his fingers from your mouth, rushing out an apology that he dismissed.

“I still have some work left to do, but if you really need to suck on something you can get on your knees and use my cock,” he offered plainly, and your heart thudded at his word. Your cheeks grew hot, mouth slightly opened as you tried to find an answer for his appeal.

“But- but we’re in public,” you whispered, he always scolded you for sucking on things in public, was this a test?

“I know, but my baby’s needs are a bit more important than mine,” he soothed, he took your elbow, directing you to the edge of your seat. He planted a long kiss against your lips, before pulling away. “Come on,” he whispered. You where completely loss for words or movement and Regulus laughed at your dumb state. He helped you to your knees, placing your hands on his belt.

“Lovely,” he caught your attention and you looked up, he smiled down at you and rubbed a hand through your hair. “Take off my belt,” he told you and you fumbled with the lock. He watched your shaky hands try to push the steel away from the hole, and he caught notice of your frustrated expression.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he comforted after he saw the tears well up. “I’ll help,” he clarified as you set your hands on his knees and waited eagerly. With ease he pulled the steel from the hole and unhooked his belt, he pulled the button from its hole and then zipped his trouser down. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched him pull out his cock, lousily stroking the base. Your hands slapped his away, taking it in yours as you squeezed the flesh against your palm.

Regulus gave a look that you didn’t catch, he was about to pull you away for a punishment but he caught the sensitive look in your eyes and the way you whined like a dog, he decided you needed this a lot more than he thought. He was fascinated with the way your shaky bodied stilled as you took his cock in your mouth, your sigh making him flinch.

This was immediately better than his fingers, your mouth sucking hungrily for more of his length. Your tongue felt at home as you slid it around the underside, you could even pinpoint the thick veins. You paid no mind to the way your knees ached, your cheek resting on his thigh as your eyes slipped closed. This was exactly where you needed to be.

Regulus had to pull himself away from looking down at you, focusing on his book. You became deaf to any noise, not hearing the footsteps that passed by or the scratching off quills. Even with this risky task, you felt safe. You could almost fall asleep, mouth sucking against his hard skin. You didn’t even realize he was close to climax, completely numb to the idea that this also felt good for Regulus too.

You felt a hand through your hair start to gently rub against your scalp, Regulus whispering a gentle encouragement for you to open your eyes. You blinked, looking up with a mouth full of cock. “Hmm mmh,” you gurgled and Regulus nodded like he understood.

“I'm done baby, let’s go to my dorm,” he gently spoke and you squint your eyes confused, how long had it been? You felt his cock slip from your mouth and you grabbed it from his grasp, slipping it back in. Regulus gave a small chuckle and pulled you away while you gurgled and whined for it back.

“Reg I’m not done-“ you told him, drool slipping down your chin as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Reg I’m not done,” you repeated.

“Shh I know I know,” he shushed gently, rubbing your cheek to calm you down. He slipped his cock back into his trousers and you felt the urge to cry. “I’m telling you we’re going to my dorm,” he finalized once again, your hands going to pull his trouser back down to get his cock.

“No baby, that’s enough,” he whispered, taking your hands and pulling them away. He buckled his belt and you became frustrated. At this point you had begun to cry, tears slipping down your cheeks as you rubbed his thigh. “Please Reggie, I’ll be good, I’ll be really good, can I have your cock now?”

Regulus softened at your words, bringing you up as he sat you in your chair. He leaned close, rubbing your cheeks to wipe away the tears. “I know you’re being good, I just want to take this to my dorm-“ “can I have your cock then?” You cut him off, desperation leaking in your words.

Regulus kissed your forehead and rubbed the low of your back, “I’m not taking my cock away, okay? Please stop the waterworks and listen to what I’m going to say,” he whispered in your ear. You faltered, nodding as he pulled away. Even though you nodded, you began to talk over him once again. Regulus sighed as he grew angry, his thumb slipping into your mouth. You sucked on it without being told, nerves settling as you calmed down.

Once Regulus knew you were going to listen, he began to explain to you again. “You can't have my cock right now,” he started and he saw the flash of anxiety in your eyes and quickly explained himself.

“But, once we get to my dorm I’ll take out my cock and you can suck on it until dinner, you understand?” You nodded, taking his thumb out of your mouth.

You got up quickly, ready to sprint to his dorm but Regulus tugged you back and onto his lap. He firmly placed a hand on your stomach, keeping you from running.

“Lovely, what do you say when I give you something you want?” He whispered and you shuddered, you turned around kissing him quickly. “M’sorry, thank you for the opportunity sir,” you correct yourself.

Regulus let you get up, standing up behind you as he purposely pushed his hard cock against your thigh. You breathed in deeply, stomach whirling.

“Don’t forget your manners again, last time I let it slide today,” he warned, you nodded and Regulus placed a hand on your waist for a warning. “I understand sir,” you corrected yourself again.

“Go on, I’ll see you in my dorm,” he patted your ass and pushed you towards the library exit. Regulus chuckled as he heard you run down the hallway.

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#marauders #marauders smut #regulus black #regulus black smut #regulus black x reader oneshot #regulus black x reader headcanons #regulus black x you #regulus black x reader smut #regulus black x nb reader

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cherienymphe · 3 years

Text

Twice Mine (Stucky x Reader)

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, mentions of NON-CON, vampire!Stucky, jealous!Stucky, violence, toxic relationships, murder, animal cruelty, bloodplay

➥ this is the much anticipated final part to Twice Bitten and Twice Burned

I had a lot of fun with this series, and I hope you guys enjoy!

➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ Italics = things that have already happened

➥ Non italics = present day

summary: King Steve has the reputation of the kindest king in all the land. How sad it is that such a man always seems to be burying a wife, leaving him lonely and searching for another. Seeing how Queen Margaret’s death affected you, the king hopes to raise your spirits by marrying you off to the handsome Duke, James Barnes, unbeknownst to you, sealing your fate.

The large living room was alight with the glow of the fire, the flames the only source of light in the entire room. The mansion was quiet, as it tended to be, but for the past week or so, it was a different kind of quiet. A heavy silence that was almost suffocating had descended over the place. You barely turned your head to the side, swallowing down a sigh.

You felt him before you heard him, a strong concern that didn’t belong to you taking up residence in your heart beside your own. You pressed your hand to your chest, the weight within it increasing as the sound of his footsteps reached your ears. His large hands soon found a place on your shoulders, fingers kneading into your bare flesh in what was meant to be a calming gesture. You hadn’t been calm in days.

“Come to bed,” he murmured, voice gravelly, still riddled with sleep.

You shook your head, eyes focused on the flames.

“I can’t sleep.”

He sighed, an exasperated sound as his fingers danced along your throat.

“You can’t sleep...you can’t eat…”

You swallowed, heart sinking at the knowledge that you’d been found out.

“...I’m fine,” you told him.

“Remember what happened the last time you went so long without feeding…”

His words made your eyes cloud over, the memory so fresh in your mind you would’ve thought it happened yesterday instead of centuries ago.

“...it nearly broke you,” he whispered. “I don’t want to see you like that again.”

You didn’t respond, eyes instead falling to the floor as his grip tightened.

“Y/N.”

You shook your head.

“He was supposed to be back days ago,” you murmured, throat tight. “We haven’t heard from him in days.”

He exhaled, leaning down to press his lips to the top of your head, breathing you in.

“Can you still feel him? Focus...just like I taught you...”

You could. It was faint, and you had to search deep within yourself, but you could still feel him there within your chest. A light warmth that had been there since you’d first woken up into this new life.

“I can.”

“Then he’s alright…”

“Then why hasn’t he called? Or let us know that he’s okay?” you wondered, standing now as frustration colored your tone.

“It’s not the first time, doll. He will be fine, he always is, but you won’t be if you don’t drink something…”

The dull burn in your throat became all the more prominent as he reminded you of your thirst. A thirst that you hadn’t satiated in days. You turned, reluctantly lifting your eyes to meet the blue of his.

“I don’t think I can...not without…”

You trailed off, recalling the last and only time you had practically starved yourself. The lack of control you’d had… A small sigh reached your ears, and you watched as he nodded, stepping closer until his chest grazed yours.

“Drink from me for now...and then we’ll go hunting tomorrow.”

His hand was on your wrist, pulling you with him as he stepped back. He sank into the armchair, and you straddled him, fingers pressing into his shoulders as you made yourself comfortable. He gazed up at you like you had his heart in your hands, and the corner of your mouth lifted ever so slightly.

“Anywhere you want,” he breathed.

Brushing your tongue over your bottom lip, you leaned in and sank your teeth into his throat. His hips lifted up into yours, hands curled around your waist as a low groan escaped you. Your eyes rolled as your body welcomed his blood into your system, coursing through your veins to give you much needed strength.

A hungry moan bubbled in your throat, and Steve sighed.

Someone was yelling. Even through the jumbled haze that was your mind, you could recognize that much. It was also hard to breathe. Did you even need to breathe now? Probably not, but surely you did if the way you were clutching your chest and gasping for breath was anything to go by. Could vampires have panic attacks? Could vampires go into shock?

“You killed her!”

You had heard someone scream that only moments ago, and yet here they were again. There was so much yelling, so much chaos, and through it all, the voice became clear. Both voices became clear. It was James...and Steve…

The thought of the blond made your lips curl, and you shakily pulled yourself to your feet. You glanced down at your dress, taking note of the faded blood. Your blood. You had tried to kill yourself, you remembered that now...and James had found you… Both James and Steve had found you. Then Steve had killed you.

The memories were coming back so fast. You could hardly make sense of it all, and it took some time before you remembered your awakening...James...Steve… Mary Jane. Your lips parted as you eyed the fresh blood on your dress...your hands… It did not take long for your eyes to find Mary Jane’s still body just at the foot of the bed.

“No...no, no,” you mumbled, falling to your knees once again at her side.

Had you done this? You could not recall. There were blanks in your mind, but if you thought hard enough, you could conjure the uncontrollable thirst that had taken over you. You could remember the way James had attempted to stop you, the way Steve had laughed as you brutally drank from your maid. You could hear yourself scream, grief and rage hitting you all at once just before laying waste to the room.

You glanced up, eyes widening at the torn bedding and broken furniture. There were feathers everywhere. A soft sob left you as you cradled the lifeless girl in your arms. James and Steve were still arguing, fighting even, and you squeezed your eyes shut. This all felt like a bad dream. A nightmare...fueled by the vampire in the next room.

Had you been filled with less rage, you would have marveled at how quickly you moved. You found yourself in the receiving chamber, pinning Steve to the wall before you even realized what had happened. He merely chuckled, sharp teeth winking at you, blue eyes filled with mirth at your crisis.

“You did this to me,” you screamed, hitting at him. “You did this-!”

You cut yourself off with a sob just as James wrapped his arms around you, pulling you away from the other man. He shushed you, trying so hard to calm you, but you were inconsolable. The reality of the situation, your new reality, was finally starting to sink in, and you thought that the weight in your chest would crush you.

If it was not for James’ hold, you would have fallen to the floor. You had the hardest time breathing, setting your vision straight, and you shook so violently in his arms. You could feel him pressing kisses into your hair, still damp from what had transpired only hours ago.

“Go.”

That single word broke through, and it took you a moment to realize that he was not speaking to you. He was speaking to Steve. It seemed that both you and Steve came to the realization at the same time.

“Surely you are joking…”

“I mean it, Steve. You should not be here...not right now…”

“James-.”

Steve swallowed his words as you escaped and dug your nails into his throat, and while your attack did not last long, Steve easily fending you off, you were satisfied with the blood you had drawn. You fell to the floor but made no move to stand, hands pressed into the rug as you keeled over with another sob.

“You killed her, Steve.”

“Really? Because she seems to be alive and well from where I am standing,” the king sneered. “I have the marks to prove it.”

“You threw her off of the balcony!”

There was so much venom in James’ voice, and the silence that followed was thick.

“She would have left us. Both you and I know that she would have tried again, and she would have succeeded! Is that what you would have wanted?”

You heard the wall shake.

“She did not deserve that,” James spat. “She deserved better. She deserved a painless death and a peaceful transition.”

Your nails scraped along the fabric of the rug as you recalled the pain of your body slamming into the stones below. The fear that had been enough to paralyze you once you realized what Steve had done.

“Now I must undo what you have done. I have to make this right for her...and I cannot do that with you around. You need to stay away from her for a while.”

You slowly lifted your head at James’ words, eyes taking in the scene before you. James had his hand at Steve’s throat, and you were surprised to find Steve’s cold gaze on you instead of James. He stared at you with such hatred, such contempt, and to your shock, you evenly stared back at him with the same look.

“You’re in trouble, you know that right?”

Steve’s quiet words reached where you stood all the way at the top of the stairs. You heard James sigh, and your relief at his safe return was unfortunately overshadowed by the fact that he’d gone an entire week with no call, no text, no nothing to let you know that he was okay.

He finally stepped out of the foyer and into the living room, Steve just behind him, and he at least had the gall to look sheepish. You wrapped your arms around yourself, far from cold, but just a force of habit whenever you felt particularly pouty. James threw you a small smile to which you did not return.

“I’m home, my love.”

You didn’t respond, and his smile faltered.

“You look radiant…”

Again, you ignored his words as you finally made your way down the stairs, the bottom of your dress kissing your feet. His face fell when you brushed past him and instead made your way to Steve.

“Steve, I’m thirsty,” you said with a frown, and the blond bit back a smirk.

“You just ate yesterday,” he reminded you.

“Well, I want to go again,” you argued.

You huffed when he gripped your shoulders, forcing you to face James. The dark-haired man resembled a kicked puppy, and you looked away. Steve leaned down to brush his lips against your ear.

“Cut him some slack, doll. You know how demanding business can be,” he told you.

He briefly squeezed your shoulders before leaving you altogether, and you reluctantly met James’ eye. His shoulders fell, and he took a step towards you.

“The deal didn’t go as smoothly as we thought it would. Would you believe me if I told you that doing business with humans is easier than with our own kind?”

Again, you didn’t respond. At least, not right away, and you simply raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do phones not work in Romania?”

He closed his eyes, releasing a sigh.

“I was worried-.”

“I was fine.”

“...and how was I to know that?”

He tilted his head at you, pressing the palm of his hand to your chest where your heart would beat if it could. That warmth was more prominent now that he was near, and you could feel his remorse for his lack of communication with you while he was away. His blue eyes were soft as he gazed at you.

“This is how you know,” he said.

“That’s...not the point, James,” you sighed, turning away. “I get anxious. You know that…”

He wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you into his chest.

“I know.”

“I don’t like it when we’re not all together. I hate when you go on these business trips by yourself,” you told him, turning in his hold. “Poor Steve has to put in twice the work just so I won’t miss you.”

James smirked, eyes glinting with mischief.

“Somehow, he manages to power through it, I’m sure,” he sarcastically replied.

You leaned in, brushing your lips along his chin, satisfied when James released a shaky breath.

“Are you coming hunting with us? I feel like it’s been so long with the three of us…”

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, pink lips curving even more as he drank you in.

“Didn’t Steve say you just went hunting…?”

“...so?” you wondered, raising an eyebrow.

James chuckled, lips brushing yours as he spoke.

“You can’t get everything you want, my love.”

“You say that...and yet I always do,” you wondered, spinning away.

“We’ve talked about this, Y/N. We have to be careful,” he argued, halting your movements with a hand on your wrist. “This is a rather small town, and we stand out enough as it is.”

You didn’t respond, and he continued.

“Remember the last small town and your appetite?” he probed.

“It’s not my fault their community was filled with abusive and rapist scum. Besides, wasn’t that when I was snapping Steve’s neck every other week or so? I had to fully take out my frustrations on someone.”

He pulled you closer.

“You like it here, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“...and you want to stay for a long time, right?”

“...yes,” you reluctantly replied. “...but I’m thirsty, so…”

You ran your eyes along his frame.

“Somehow, some way, I’m drinking someone’s blood tonight.”

The scream that you let out was gut-wrenching, and you were thankful that you were deep in the woods. Far away from the village and the kingdom. The only light came from that of the moon as it hung in the sky, and for once, you wished that you were bathed in darkness instead. You did not want to see the consequences of your actions, see what you had done.

You were reminded of that first night in your new life. You could hardly breathe and hardly make sense of what was happening. Like before, the memories came to you quickly, filling in the holes that had been missing from the last day or so.

The thought of drinking blood, harming another, even if it did not cost them their life, was enough to disgust you. You had had enough, and had refused to drink for days. James had warned you. Oh God, he had warned you. You thought yourself above this life. You thought that your heart was too good for this life and that your will would overpower your nature. You were wrong, and the lifeless body in your arms was proof of that.

The boy was young, so young. He had long passed the precipice of childhood, but had yet to reach that of a man, and now he never would. You did not even remember smelling him, nor snatching him away, but when you closed your eyes, you could see it. You could see how unaware he had been as he poked through bushes to find some berries to pick. You could see the way you zeroed in on him. You could see the monster that you had become.

Another loud sob escaped your trembling lips as you rocked him in your arms, wishing and hoping that he would wake up. That it would all be a nightmare, he would wake up, and prove that you were not the monster you now thought yourself to be.

You felt him before you saw him, and when you reluctantly lifted your head, you were surprised to come face to face with Steve...not James.

“I killed him,” you sobbed.

Steve sighed, frowning at you as he approached. You had not seen him in months, only in passing really, and you had forgotten just how much you hated him. However, in this moment, you did not wish to be alone. You wished for someone to reassure you that you were not some crazed beast. Anything to stop the pain.

“Yes, well… James told me of the grand conclusion you came to, thinking yourself above your nature,” he scoffed, and you frowned.

He shook his head at you.

“Honestly, Y/N. What did you think would transpire?”

There it was again, that rage, and your lip curled.

“This is your fault. All of this is your fault!”

You were standing now, and Steve tilted his head at you.

“You did this to me. I am like this because of you...because of what you forced onto me.”

Steve took a step towards you, something in his eyes that you could not place.

“What is done, is done. This,” he pointed to the lifeless body at your feet. “...happened because of you, because you refused to accept your new reality. This happened because you tried to go against nature, your nature.”

His words filled you with an anger that you could hardly fathom, and before you knew it, your hands were on his head and then he was at your feet, neck twisted at an odd angle. You blinked, eyes widening as you realized what you had done, and you stumbled back. You hated Steve, God knows you did, but James would be far from happy about this.

As if you summoned him up, he was suddenly there, and you jumped at the sight. Your wide eyes met his just before he took in the mess you left behind, and he sighed when his eyes landed onto the boy.

“Oh, Y/N,” he breathed, sounding sad.

“I…”

You glanced at Steve’s still form.

“Steve...he...I…”

You did not know how to tell him that you had killed his best friend, but James merely glanced at Steve before chuckling.

“I assure you, Steve is fine.”

You frowned, and he elaborated.

“You did not kill him...not permanently, at least,” he explained. “You just snapped his neck. It is something like a temporary death for us. He will be alright. It is rather painful though, but...even I must admit that he had it coming.”

“He will be angry with me,” you murmured. “...but he always seems to be angry with me. He blames me for your...separation.”

“Steve has no one to blame but himself, my love” he said, kneeling beside the nameless boy.

“You...were right, James,” you whispered, choked up.

He looked to you, eyes heavy with a myriad of emotions you could not even begin to name. Regret being the most evident one.

“I thought that I could fight it. I thought that I could make myself be something that I am not. Steve was right when he said that I did not want to accept my new reality, and I hate admitting that.”

“I will help you through this-.”

“No.”

He blinked at you, standing now as he worriedly eyed you.

“I cannot do this,” you confessed.

“Y/N-.”

“I am sorry. I am...so sorry,” you whispered, leaving him there in the blink of an eye.

Your fingers tangled in Steve’s hair as he swirled his tongue in and out of you. His lips couldn’t get enough, and he pressed his fingers into your thighs, holding you down. James was far on the other side of the room, face torn between hunger and disappointment. Despite the fact that he was safe and sound, you were still miffed about his lack of communication.

“You can look...but you can’t touch.”

That was what you’d told him, and even though it was obvious how much he wanted to protest, he obeyed. Now he stood as still as a statue, hands balled into fists, face taut as he fought to prevent himself from tasting you as Steve was currently doing.

Your chest was pointed towards the ceiling, mouth parted as moans climbed out of your throat. Steve was ravenous between your legs, groans escaping here and there to send vibrations through you, making you clench around his tongue.

“Steve,” you moaned, eyes rolling.

That was what you both loved and hated about Steve. He could remain between your thighs for days on end if you allowed him to. Your voice caught when he pushed you over the edge, chest heaving and stomach tightening while the blond greedily lapped at you, refusing to waste a single drop. You could hear James swallow as Steve crawled up your spent frame, blue eyes narrowing like that of a feline.

He pulled you into his lap, bare chest pressed to yours, arms wrapped around your waist. You threw your own around his neck, nose brushing his as you let out a happy sigh.

“I think I’ve tortured James enough, don’t you?”

You grinned at him, and Steve returned it, leaning up. You pulled back, smile widening as you evaded his kiss.

“I don’t know, doll. I think he could stand some more,” he purred.

The mischief in his eyes matched your own, and you both turned to leer at James, your cheek pressed against Steve’s. You offered your hand to James, and it was impressive how fast he moved, taking your hand and pressing his lips to yours. You moaned into the kiss while Steve trailed his own lips to your neck.

Your teeth scraped along James’ mouth, drawing blood, and your body buzzed at the taste. A low moan crawled from James’ lips as you leaned down to sink your teeth into his throat, his hand coming up to twist into your hair. You pulled away with a sigh, Steve’s mouth seeking out your own, eager to taste James on your tongue. You could hear the dark-haired man swiftly undressing, pressing his chest to your back in no time, eager to make his absence up to you.

“You need to come back.”

You froze, eyes focused on Steve as he stood in the tiny cottage you had taken up residence in, making the space look that much smaller. You swallowed as you eyed him, recalling the last time you saw him in which you had snapped his neck. That was the last time you saw James too. That was months ago. Your emotions must have been all over your face because Steve simply smirked.

“Relax. I am not here to snap your neck as you did mine,” he assured you, stepping further into the place.

He looked as regal as he always did, blond hair neatly pushed out of his face.

“Nor would you be in the right to. If anything, you had it coming from the moment you killed me,” you hissed.

He narrowed his eyes at you, and you continued before he could speak.

“Why are you here? How did you find me?” you demanded, genuine confusion coloring your tone.

“Do not be daft, sweet Y/N. We have known of your whereabouts this entire time. If it were not for James, I would have dragged you back to the castle long ago, but he insisted that you needed time,” he explained.

“...and yet here you are.”

Steve’s jaw ticked, and he neared you.

“Yes. Here I am, because you need to come back,” he repeated.

“Why?” you scoffed. “...so you can torture me some more? Make my life as miserable as your heart?”

“He is not the same,” Steve suddenly said, making you swallow your words. “He needs you.”

The thought of James sullen and wasting himself away was enough to make your heart clench, but you simply folded your arms over your chest, glancing away.

“I am happy here,” you told him.

“Really? Happy here to feed on the squirrels and the deer like some beast of the wild?” he sneered.

“What is it to you?”

He was on you in a flash, fingers pressing into your jaw so harshly you could have sworn you heard it crack. His nose brushed against yours as he glared into your eyes, an untamable fire behind his own.

“It means something to me because I wish to see him happy. As much as I despise your very presence...he is not himself whilst you are gone,” Steve told you.

You scoffed.

“Are you no longer enough for him? Funny, because whenever I was around, all he seemed to do was put you first-.”

You cut yourself off with a gasp as he slammed you into the wall, the small house shaking from the force. Your eyes watered and your lips trembled as you glared at the man before you, the man who had killed you.

“I am giving you one week. One week to do what you must. Drink from all the animals you like, tear through every tree while imagining my face on them, get whatever you must out of your system,” he began.

You looked away, and he pressed his lips to your cheek.

“If you have not returned in a week, if you run, I will find you...and I will drag you back...but not before reminding you of just how cruel I can be,” he purred.

You pushed against him, and he merely moved to catch your wrists, slamming them into the wall. Steve's forehead was pressed to yours, and you could not meet his eye.

“You may not be as weak as you once were,” he started, forcing his knee between your legs. “...but you will never be strong enough to fend me off. I have no problem reminding you of that.”

He brushed his lips over your trembling ones, and then he was gone, ruining your peace once again. You cried for the first time in weeks that night. You had no doubt that if you ran, Steve would find you. You did not know how they even found you to begin with, but it was scary to think that they knew where you were this entire time without your knowledge. What else were they capable of?

As much as you did not want to, it was exactly one week later that you found yourself returning to the castle. It was late in the night, all of the servants and any other guests fast asleep, when you walked through the doors. James was there before you hardly got a foot inside, and you were in his arms before you knew it.

“I have missed you,” he sighed, squeezing you to him.

He breathed you in, and you found yourself doing the same, reluctant to admit that you missed him too. For a moment, you were reminded of a time where you felt safe in his arms, and you wondered if you would ever feel that again. When soft footsteps reached your ears, you looked up, Steve’s eyes meeting yours as he stood behind James, practically bathed in darkness. It was then that you realized the answer was no. You would probably never feel that again. Not while Steve was around.

Contrary to what you had thought, the time that followed was far from miserable. Steve still kept a safe distance, and James did his best to teach you about your new life. Whenever you did see Steve though, it was cordial...polite...but tense. There was something unspoken in the air that you were reluctant to give attention to. It stewed for the longest time until James was the one to finally bring attention to it.

“We need to talk, my love,” he said to you one evening.

You had frowned a bit, but eventually closed your book, giving him your full attention. You could not read his face, and that worried you.

“It is about Steve,” he began.

You swallowed, straightening.

“What about Steve…?”

At this point, it had been two years since your death that was somehow both literal and metaphorical, and you had not come any closer to softening your heart towards the king. You hardly saw him, hardly spoke to him as he continued to do as James asked and gave you the space to make your transition into this life much smoother.

James sighed, reaching up to brush his thumb along your cheek.

“It is meant to be the three of us…”

You looked away, heart sinking as you realized what this was about.

“That is how I envisioned our future, and I hope that we can get back to that some day.”

“James…”

“I am not rushing you. Believe me, there is still much anger in my heart towards him for what he did, and I know that my anger cannot ever compare to yours. I only wish to remind you that this is what I hope for us some day.”

You did not respond, and he continued.

“I am bringing this up because I have spoken with Steve...and he will be doing his best to make amends. I want you to expect that…”

Yours eyes met his, and he left you with a small smile. You soon found out that Steve’s version of making amends was to buy you things you had never asked for.

“It is all the rage in France,” Steve huffed as you turned your nose up at the gaudy necklace.

“Well, I am sure they will appreciate having it returned to them,” you snidely commented

Fed up, he threw the necklace to the ground, pointing a finger at you.

“You are being unnecessarily difficult,” he hissed.

Your eyes widened and your lips parted as you stared at him as if he had grown a second head before your very eyes.

“This...,” you picked up the other jewels he had brought. “...means nothing. All of this means nothing!”

You threw them at him, taking great satisfaction in the offended look he wore.

“You killed me!”

Two years worth of anger and hurt had been stewing. Your fingers trembled and your body vibrated and your eyes burned as you stared at the blond man before you. Your murderer.

“You taunted me and made my life hell for years! And then...and then you tossed me...off of a balcony,” you shakily gasped. “...and you think that your money will atone for that?”

Steve said nothing, face taut as your words hit him square on.

“You think these meaningless things will undo what you have done? How on earth did you manage to keep the throne all these years with nothing between those ears of yours?”

He was quick in invading your space, and his chest heaved with barely contained anger as you glared at him.

“You will watch how you speak to me.”

“Or what? You shall kill me? Again?”

He said nothing, and his nostrils flared.

“James will end your pitiful existence the minute that you do,” you spat.

The words had just barely left your mouth when his hand found your throat. Having anticipated this because Steve was nothing if not predictable, you grabbed the bejeweled dagger he had tried to gift you, plunging it straight into his chest. You felt no disgust when he coughed, blood flying past his lips and onto your face. You could only feel satisfaction as you watched the pain register on his features.

Your gratification did not last long as you watched him swallow down the ache, a troubling laugh escaping his bloody lips. His wide eyes took you in with something you could not name, but if you did not know any better, you would think it was pride. He chuckled again, his hand coming up to cover your own that still held the knife in his chest. He leaned in, with difficulty, and brushed his blood-stained lips over your own.

“Word of advice...a piece of wood is what you desire.”

He tightened his grip on your hand, and you winced, gaze never parting from his.

“Also...you might want to aim a bit higher next time,” he said through clenched teeth just before ripping it out.

You gasped as he snatched it from your fingers, quickly fisting his other hand into your hair, pressing the blade to your throat. You just felt a trickle of blood when James came bursting into the room. He was quick to pull Steve away, pinning the king to the wall.

“Have you lost your mind?”

Steve merely chuckled, a smirk on his pink lips.

“We were just having some fun. Right, Y/N?”

He looked to you, and you merely huffed, brushing past them both, ignoring James as he called for you. You did not see a future in which you would ever forgive Steve for what he did, what he put you through, but you could not accept one in which the two of you were constantly at each other’s throats. Something had to give.

Is this what you had come to? Is this who you were now? The thought was enough to make you sick, but surely it was the only way? Right…? Steve did not stir, and his body was warm beneath yours as you tightened your hands around the stake. The entire time that you whittled it, you kept wondering to yourself if this was what you really wanted to do? Could you even do this?

You pressed the end of it to his chest and swallowed. Would James hate you? He would be mad, that was for sure. That was to be expected even, but surely he could grow past this right? If your heart was able to beat, you were positive that it would be threatening to leap from your chest this very moment. Why were you scared? Why were you nervous? Steve deserved this...a thousand times over.

You were having doubts, and you did not want to admit that. You had stewed over this for months. Months of arguing and fighting. How many times had you drawn blood from him and vice versa? How many more? You jumped, startled when a hand closed around both of yours, and you lifted your gaze to meet the unflinching one of Steve. It suddenly occurred to you that he may have been awake this entire time.

You sharply inhaled, but he simply smiled, pink lips curving upwards ever so slightly.

“Do it,” he urged.

Your eyes widened, and you almost listened to him, but you faltered.

“Go on...do it…”

His blue eyes glinted with something unknown, and his teeth winked at you as he grinned.

“...why?” you suddenly wondered. “Why do you want me to?”

He tilted his head at you.

“You must learn to survive this life one way or another…”

You frowned, heart sinking at that.

“I… James…”

Steve hummed, nodding.

“Yes. He will be quite angry. I daresay he might even kill you,” he told you.

Your eyes widened at that, chest clenching.

“...the same he would do to me should I ever take you away from him.”

Your shoulders dropped at that, and you blinked.

“He loves us both...and he does not intend to live the rest of his days without either one of us by his side. I may not like this, but I have come to accept it.”

You glanced away, his words taking up residence within you.

“...but if you cannot accept this, then by all means...drive that stake through my heart. Truly become what you are and take what you must. That is how you survive this life…”

There was that phrase again. You did not like it, did not like the way it made you feel, and with a disgusted gasp, you dropped the stake. You held your hands up and away from Steve, chest heaving as you shook your head.

“No...no. That is...not how I wish to survive this life,” you told him.

You chanced a glance at him, finding that his eyes had darkened considerably. With a growl, the stake was in his hand, and he had flipped you, hovering over you as you trembled beneath him.

“Then you are weak!”

“Fine!”

He had not expected that response, and he looked taken aback. His fair hair brushed his forehead, thin shirt hanging off of his shoulder as he frowned at you.

“Fine...then I am weak. Call me whatever you like, Steve, but that is not me...and it shall never be me.”

You could feel the tip of the stake pressing into you through the fabric of your gown, and you swallowed, eyes boring into his.

“If you wish to drive that stake through my heart, to take what you want, then you may do so, but that is not who I am,” you quietly said. “I am not you.”

As much as you wished you could be, you were not like Steve. God knows that you hated him, and a part of you even hated James too, but killing Steve would hurt James, and you could not do that. You would not be able to live with yourself. Steve stared at you for a long time, and for a moment you thought that he would, but all too soon, you heard the piece of wood clatter to the floor. He remained hovering over you, hand on your neck now, and you swallowed as a shudder passed through you. His chambers were quiet as you simply stared at one another, and you thought to yourself how horrible it was that someone so demented could be so beautiful. Life was most cruel.

“I hate you,” you suddenly whispered.

Your words did not affect him, but you repeated them anyway.

“I hate you so much. I do not think you can ever imagine just how much I truly hate you, Steve,” you mumbled, tears kissing your eyes.

The king leaned down, nose brushing along yours as he hummed. Your lashes fluttered, hating the way heat swirled in your gut with his movements.

“I shall never forgive you.”

“It is not your forgiveness I seek,” he said.

He settled in between your legs, forcing them around his waist as his lips pressed against your neck.

“Then what do you seek from me…?”

His sharp teeth grazed your throat, and you curled your hands into fists, nails pressing into your palms. Your world was suddenly spinning, and you found yourself on top of Steve yet again. One of his hands pressed into your waist, holding you to him while you laid your palms on his chest. Even in the dark, the blue of his eyes appeared darker. Just as you were about to move to get off of him, he sat up, pressing his chest to yours.

“I-.”

Your words died on your tongue when he pressed his thumb to your mouth, scraping it over your teeth, and your eyes rolled when his blood fell onto your tongue.

“Show me how much you hate me,” he purred, leaning in to sink his own teeth into the skin just above your breast, piercing it through the fabric of your gown.

You had your way with Steve that night, hips moving over his as you sought out your climax again and again. You bit him, scratched him, left marks on every piece of flesh you could get your hands on, and he welcomed it all. Steve enjoyed a bit of pain, you realized, and you were shocked to find out just how much you enjoyed giving it to him.

By the time you were done, the sun peaking through the window, the sheets were stained with blood. Steve was fast asleep, breathing faint, and you were leaving his chambers, feeling a bit shameful in your bloody gown from the night before. You were surprised to find James awaiting you when you entered the corridor, and you jumped a bit, pressing a hand to your chest.

You were unsure of what to say. For some reason, you thought James would be mad, but then you remembered that this is what he wanted. You frowned as he approached you, leaning in to press his lips to yours, tasting Steve’s blood on them. He did not completely pull away, and you felt the corner of his mouth lift.

“Good girl,” he whispered.

You reared back, eyeing him and the small smirk on his lips, and you suddenly wondered just how coincidental your night with Steve was...or if outside forces had come into play.

You glided through the sea of bodies, the flashing lights doing little to obstruct your vision. The club was otherwise dark, everyone around you too preoccupied with drugs or alcohol or the person next to them. Steve and James were currently knocked out at home, and while vampire blood quelled the thirst, it wasn’t what your body lived on. Venturing out for a few hours wouldn’t hurt anyone...or so you intended.

Unimpressed with the slim pickings before you, you exited the club. It was a nice summer night, but it would be much nicer if you could find something quick to eat. You heard the footsteps behind you as you made your way to your car parked on the side of the street, but you didn’t think much of it. At least, not until a warm hand wrapped around your wrist. You spun, eyes wide and confused.

The man before you had a fair complexion, hair dark and eyes darker. His facial hair was tasteful, jawline sharp, and under different circumstances, you might have found him attractive, but he wreaked of malicious intentions. You only discovered what those intentions were when he pushed against you. You allowed him to, looking at him like he had a death wish as he pinned you to your car.

“I saw you inside the club,” he said.

“...and?” you wondered, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Just a bit surprised to see a girl like you all alone… Dressed like that, you must be looking for something,” he grinned.

You scoffed, pushing against him.

“Get lost, creep.”

He snatched your hand, applying what you were sure he thought was painful pressure. You glowered at him as he pressed himself more firmly against you, and you could feel him hot and hard beneath his jeans.

“I really hate teases like you, you know,” he sneered. “You come out dressed like whores, knowing exactly what you look like, what kind of attention you’re looking for, and then when you get it… You get all surprised on us.”

You tilted your head at him, eyes narrowing.

“Nobody plays hard to get anymore. We see right through it.”

You pressed your lips together, mind whirling as you looked away. With a smirk, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his. He groaned into your mouth, tight grip still on your hand. When you pulled back, you licked your lips, brushing your nose against his.

“You caught me,” you chuckled. “Wanna come back to my place? I’ll drive.”

He grinned at you with a nod, taking a step back. By the time you got behind the wheel, he was already seated. He whistled at the interior of the car, and you threw him a sly smile as you started it.

“This yours?”

“It’s my ex’s,” you told him with a shrug.

It wasn’t a lie. James had been your ex at the time, angry with him for something you could hardly recall. The not-so-breakup breakup lasting a few months before Steve intervened. You just didn’t mention that you and said ex were happily back together.

The would be rapist talked the entire way as you sped down the road to upstate New York. If he took note of the long commute, he didn’t comment on it. Then again, why would he? He was far too preoccupied with getting laid. When you pulled up in front of the large and isolated mansion, you noticed the way his eyes briefly widened. The corner of your lips lifted just a bit as you took note of the way his heart skipped a beat.

The house was quiet, lighting dim when you entered, and you wondered if they were still asleep. You hoped not. You knew they had to be hungry. Before you could think more on it, the man behind you, Brock was what he called himself, wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against him. You didn’t react as he pressed kisses to your neck, your hungry eyes looking around for any sign of Steve or James instead.

“This is a nice place, kind of big for one woman.” he commented.

Footsteps reached your ears, far too soft for him to notice, and you bit your lip, fighting a smile.

“I agree,” you breathed, spinning around to cover his lips with your own.

His hands were tight on your waist, lips hungry and tongue searching, and the only reason disgust didn’t fill you was because you knew this would be worth it in only a matter of seconds.

“Doll…?”

You pulled away, ignoring the look on Brock’s face as you turned to grin at Steve. Your hands were on the raven-haired man’s face, your own visage practically glowing.

“Stevie,” you coolly responded.

You didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened as he took in the way the strange man held you, and your stomach flipped. You skipped towards him, hanging onto his arm as he continued to stare at the other man, a thousand ways to kill him running through his head, no doubt.

“What is the meaning of this?” he quietly demanded.

“What the fuck is going on?”

You ignored Brock, pouting at the blond man.

“He thought he could make me do whatever he wanted, Steve,” you whispered.

His head snapped towards you, jaw clenching as he ran his eyes over you. He knew that you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, but it was a habit he had no intentions of breaking.

“...so...I thought I’d bring him home…”

A smirk danced along his lips.

“Is that so?” he wondered, slowly turning to face the other man who was seconds away from leaving.

Too quickly for his eye to see, Steve was upon him, a hand digging into his shoulder. Brock barely had time to make any kind of noise before your husband was brutally tearing into his throat. You quietly approached them as Steve greedily drank from the skeevy man. He was dead by the time you reached them, and Steve lifted his head towards you, face stained, blood crawling down his neck.

He growled before smashing his lips against yours. You were reluctant to admit that the dead scum tasted better than you thought he would, but fear always did make the blood taste sweeter. You heard his body drop to the ground as Steve pressed his hands into your neck, tongue tasting the inside of your mouth while yours tasted the blood on his. You only pulled away when you heard a sigh, and you both turned to face James at the bottom of the stairs.

“What have I said about in the house?”

He sounded exasperated, but didn’t look particularly upset. You had the distinct feeling that he heard everything, and the reluctant smile that found its way onto his lips confirmed that. He beckoned you over, and you complied.

“Still mad at me?” he wondered, pinching your chin.

“No,” you said, shaking your head.

He pecked your lips.

“Good. I’ll help you get rid of that, Steve...and my love?”

He had brushed past you, and you turned to look at him expectantly.

“Yes…?”

“Never in the house,” he lightly scolded.

You returned his scowl with a grin.

The shard broke off deep into his neck, and Steve hissed, reaching to dig it out just as you plunged the other half into his chest.

“Fucking hell!”

Your palm connected with his cheek just before he shoved himself away from you, and you were determined to follow when strong familiar arms wrapped around you from behind, pinning your arms at your side.

“Let go of me,” you cried.

“Y/N-.”

“Let. Go. Of. Me!”

James did not listen, and instead you found yourself pinned to the wall, his arms preventing you from moving. You glared past his shoulder, trying in vain to kill Steve with your vision alone. The blond winced as he tore the broken glass from his neck, blood soaking into his shirt.

“He killed him,” you spat, lips trembling as the pain in your chest flared with the reminder of what Steve had done.

The man in question snapped his head up, eyes dark with anger and jealousy while his lip curled over his teeth.

“And I would happily do it again,” he sneered.

“He was my friend!”

“He coveted you,” Steve hissed, face only a hair’s width away from your own now. “You would think that after 400 plus years on this God forsaken earth, you would realize that.”

You frantically shook your head.

“No. Not everyone is like you, Steve. Not everyone has the worst intentions,” you screamed.

Steve simply rolled his eyes, turning away as he removed his shirt. You looked to James for help, anything to back you up, but he did not look the least bit remorseful about what Steve had done. He sighed, and you frowned.

“I gave Steve the okay,” he quietly confessed.

Your eyes widened, and you stumbled back out of his now loose hold. You stared at him in confusion, fighting to understand what he was telling you.

“W-what? You...you told him to kill Clint?”

James did not respond, and you swallowed, a sharp pain traveling through your chest.

“...why?” you softly asked. “He was my friend. He made me laugh, he listened to me…”

You ignored Steve’s scoff, and James reached out to brush his thumb over your chin.

“We cannot get attached to humans.”

“You did,” you threw at him. “Or have you forgotten how I ended up in this situation to begin with?”

Anger briefly flashed over his features, and you tilted your head at him.

“That was different-.”

“How so? Was it different because you can do whatever you want while I cannot? Or is it different because you felt threatened by him?”

James pressed his chest to yours, staring you down with a look you had never been on the receiving end of before. You shuddered, and he took another step forward, forcing you back.

“Threatened by a mere human who we snuffed out like it was nothing?”

“I enjoyed being around him. I enjoyed learning about the ever changing world. He reminded me of a life that Steve so cruelly ripped away from me, and you hated it,” you whispered.

James’ silence spoke volumes.

“Admit it. You were terrified that I would...what...turn him? Then run off into the sunset, leaving the two of you behind?”

Now it was your turn to scoff.

“How quickly you forget that I am nothing like you...and that I could never do to someone else what you have done to me,” you snidely told him.

James sharply inhaled, straightening to his full height.

“You are ours, and it will remain that way until the end of time.”

You looked down, but James’ hand on your chin forced you to hold his uncharacteristically cold gaze.

“...and Steve and I will kill whomever we see fit to ensure nothing disrupts that.”

You snatched your face out of his grip, tears in your eyes.

“He did not taste half bad. You should have drank from him when you had the chance,” Steve chuckled.

Only a moment later, your hands were on his face, and he collapsed at your feet. Anger coursed through you as you stared down at him, wishing you had the strength and callousness to drive a stake through his heart. James heaved a sigh from behind you, and you felt him approach.

“You cannot keep doing that every time he upsets you, my love.”

You turned to face him, frown deepening when he placed his hand on your cheek. You copied him, placing your other hand on his other cheek, before breaking his neck with a grimace. You scoffed, shaking your head at them both before storming out of the room.

The storm raged around you as you stared down into the overgrown grass. Centuries upon centuries had passed, and while it was certainly not as grand as it had once been, the basic structure of the castle remained. You had no doubt that in the years to come, it would be a tourist attraction. Nothing else from the building mattered much. The only thing that was of some importance, the balcony, remained, and that was all that you cared about.

You pressed your hand to your lips as you looked around, feeling like it was only yesterday that you had been here. If you thought hard enough, you could recall the early days of your marriage, filled with innocence and naivety. You could even recall the respect and admiration you’d had for Steve then, back when he was a king. Your relationship with the blond was much more complicated these days than you cared to admit.

And if you really relaxed, really thought hard enough, you could see her smile. You could see the way her hair caught the sun, looking almost red at times. You could hear her laugh at some jest that was far too inappropriate for a woman to make back then. If you thought hard enough, you could see...her.

You didn’t realize that you had closed your eyes until they snapped open at the familiar warmth in your chest that was growing by the minute. You hadn’t intended to bond with Steve that night, it sort of just happened, and the damage had been done. At least he had taught you how to feel his presence deep within your chest, a warmth that was always there but had not realized was James...and now Steve too. It was how James always found you every time you took off. You didn’t like that he’d hidden that from you…

You didn’t need to turn around to know that he was there. You could feel him like he was touching you instead of way on the other side of the room. He didn’t say anything, and you got the feeling that James had grown worried, had told him to come find you. After all, it had been a few months since you last saw them. It was how you coped when you couldn’t stand to look at their faces. You could feel Steve’s surprise at finding you here.

“Why did you kill her?” you suddenly wondered, voice quiet.

The rain was loud, words drowned out even more as you were on the balcony, but you knew that he heard you all the same.

“I loved her...and you took her away from me. Why?”

“...because I couldn’t control her,” he eventually responded, equally low voice reaching your ears.

Steve didn’t sound boastful, he didn’t even sound satisfied with himself. In fact, the vampire behind you almost sounded regretful.

“...and me?”

You blinked, tears skipping down your face as you finally turned to face him. Your eyes met his, and his jaw clenched as he took note of the way your own shined.

“Why did you kill me?”

Steve didn’t answer, and you stumbled towards him.

“Why, Steve? You...you threw me off of that balcony. You took my life into your hands, and you just crushed it! Like it was nothing… You killed me.”

“I know-.”

“You killed me!”

You shoved him, and he let you. He swallowed, reaching for you. It was always so fresh in your mind. Your fear, the cruel smirk on his face, his heartlessness...and then the pain. The way he laughed when you had killed your maid. Mary Jane. So many had died as the result of his own selfish desires...

“I know, I know.”

“You killed me, Steve,” you cried, hitting his chest, his shoulders, his face.

He merely blinked as you slapped him again. You could feel his own regret and his own despair and it made you angrier. It was centuries too late.

“You killed me, you killed me, you killed me,” you repeatedly sobbed, shoving him and shaking him over and over again. “Why?”

You fisted your hands into his shirt, yanking him.

“Why did you kill me, Steve? Why...why did you do that to me?” you shakily mumbled, lips trembling.

Steve pressed his hand into the back of your head, the other at the small of your back, and you fought against him.

“You were going to leave us,” he reluctantly said. “You were going to leave me…”

You didn’t meet his eyes as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“My feelings then may have been just as complicated as they are now, but I only knew that I couldn't let you leave,” he confessed.

You shook your head, a sob caught in your throat.

“You would have tried again...and you would have succeeded,” he breathed.

He was right. You both knew that he was right, and you would have tried again. After all, at the time, you thought it was your only way to get away from him. Steve’s lips sought out yours, and you turned your head away. His regret threatened to suffocate you.

“I’m sorry,” he exhaled.

You shook your head again, turning away every time he reached for your face.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, lips finding yours.

Your back hit the wall, and you could feel his own lips trembling against yours. Your salty tears mixed in with the kiss, and you cried harder at your despair, his regret, and your inability to change the past.

“Forgive me,” he pleaded into your mouth.

“No,” you whispered back.

His lips traveled to your jaw and then your neck before kissing the fabric of your dress as Steve fell to his knees, begging for your forgiveness every step of the way.

“Forgive me, forgive me,” he chanted.

Your hands tangled in his hair as he fiercely kissed your stomach, pressing his face into your dress as he continued to beg for your forgiveness. You never thought you’d see the day where Steve would be on his knees, begging you to forgive him. After all, once upon a time, he’d told you that your forgiveness was not what he sought...and once upon a time, you said you’d never give it.

As your fingers tightened in his hair, you thought to yourself that perhaps you could forgive him. You could feel his remorse, feel how what he’d done had been eating at him. It had been doing so for quite some time, but you’d always tried to ignore it. You never thought a day would come where you’d even consider forgiving him for making your life hell, killing Peggy...killing you, but as his pleas reached your ears, you were tempted to give in. Maybe you would forgive him some day…

In one quick movement, you’d snapped Steve’s neck, and he heavily fell at your feet. You stood against the wall, trembling and crying. Your fingers shook, and in all the years you’d done that whenever Steve made you incredibly angry, for the first time ever, it did not bring you joy.

Maybe you would forgive Steve someday...but today was not that day.

Your watchful eyes followed the children as they ran across the street. Despite their ratty clothing and dirty faces, bright smiles adorned their lips as they laughed and played with one another. The owner of the orphanage, a kind and homely woman, ushered them along. You caught her eye and she waved. You returned it with a smile, James and Steve hardly paying you mind as they conversed about their investments.

You had more money than you could ever dream of, so you donated to the orphanage often. The children who always lived there always looked their best now, but you could see that these kids were new. You watched the way they played amongst each other, running around Ms. Jane, their giggles reaching your ears as she fought to settle them down.

“My love?”

You were pulled from the scene at the sound of James’ voice. His brows were furrowed, and he looked concerned.

“Are you alright…?”

You nodded at him.

“Of course.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie, but it wasn’t entirely true either. You were certain that James could feel that, and that was probably why his face briefly pinched before it smoothed out. He reached past Steve to brush a finger over your cheek, a small smile on his lips just before he turned away. You quickly glanced at the children again before tightening your hold on Steve’s arm.

“Steve…”

You glanced to him just as he turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Can vampires procreate?”

You didn’t like to ask James these things. He had a habit of withholding information from you or even just downright sugarcoating things. You could feel his eyes on you, and you ignored his gaze as you waited for Steve to answer. He threw you a strained smile.

“No...but we sure love to try,” he joked, and you reluctantly chuckled.

You looked away from him, and he brushed a finger over the back of your hand.

“Why do you ask?”

Your eyes strayed to the laughing children again, and you shrugged.

“Just curious, I guess…”

You could feel their concern, but you ignored it, and days later, the conversation was forgotten altogether. But every now and then, you thought about those children, about where they lived. Despite the fact that you’d put a lot of money into the place, they still deserved a proper home.

Steve and James were gone when you left. It was late, and they were meeting with shady businessmen, no doubt. Times were different. It was the 1910’s, an age of cars and alcohol and money, and every man wanted to do business with the elusive Steve Rogers and James Barnes. You smirked to yourself, thinking on how everyone thought them to be descendants of royal blood, unaware that they were indeed the original royal blood everyone thought them to be related to.

The night was cold, not that you could tell, but the frost on the windows and the shivers from the men that you passed told you so. You ignored the strange looks they gave you, a woman such as yourself out so late by your lonesome? That was one thing that hadn’t changed in the years to come. The orphanage was in a better part of town, away from the seedy bar and brothel, no predatory and violent men around to disturb the peace of the children.

You could hear a horse and carriage far off in the distance as you stared up at the building. All of the windows were covered with curtains, and when you listened closely, you could hear the calm and even heartbeats of all the children inside. All except one. You frowned when the door opened and a little boy stood in the open doorway with an empty pail. His eyes widened at the sight of you before a smile eventually graced his lips.

“H-hello,” he hesitantly stuttered.

You stared at him for a long while, blinking at him before eventually squatting to meet him at eye level. He couldn’t have been any older than seven.

“Hi,” you breathed. “What are you doing up so late?”

If he was frightened by your sharp teeth, he did not show it. His heart didn’t even stutter. He held up the bucket with a shrug.

“I wanted to get some water for in the morning, so that Ms. Jane wouldn’t have to,” he told you.

You let out a light laugh.

“That is so sweet. What is your name?”

“Billy…”

You quietly repeated it to yourself, and you stared at him, your heart already making your next decision for you before your mind could catch up. You slowly stood, extending your hand towards him with an inviting smile.

“Are you hungry, Billy?”

You got the feeling that he was going to protest, but his stomach told on him before he got the chance.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a nod, looking sheepish.

Your smile widened, and your heart soared when he stumbled towards you, placing his smaller hand in yours. As you walked him back to the house, he told you of how Ms. Jane did the best she could with the donations, but the orphanage was filling up with more and more kids each year. He was fairly new, only having been there for all of three months. He marveled at your mansion, brown eyes alight with wonder.

He was well behaved, waiting patiently while you fixed him something to eat. You were happy that he was comfortable with you, talking your ear off the entire time. You made sure to fix him a hearty soup, filled with vegetables and plenty of meat. He didn’t seem to mind as you studied him, far too engrossed in the food before him.

You hadn’t realized how much time had passed.

“Y/N.”

Startled, you turned, looking up to find James and Steve standing in the entryway to the living room. Billy and you were on the floor, the fire lit to keep him warm, and you hurriedly stood. James hardly ever called you by your name, and you did not need to look within yourself to know that he was angry. It was written all over his face.

“Is that your name?” Billy asked you.

You turned to him with a strained smile and nod.

“You stay right here, okay?”

You ruffled his hair, and he smiled at you with an obedient nod. You swallowed as you turned to approach James and Steve, not missing the way James’ eyes never left you. You could feel their worry, and that confused you.

“What have you done?” James demanded, and you flinched at his tone.

“I…”

You gestured to Billy.

“There are so many children in the orphanage, so I-.”

“So you brought him here? To a house full of vampires?”

He talked to you like you were stupid, and you looked to Steve for help, but his own face was pinched with worry, blue eyes flickering between you and the boy.

“We can raise him,” you quietly said. “He’ll never have to want for anything-.”

“No,” James snapped.

“James-.”

“You could have killed him. Exposed all of us,” he argued. “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that he could be ours,” you weakly replied, hating the way your voice trembled.

James’ eyes softened, shoulders sagging as he heaved a sigh. You looked to Steve, the blond the more open minded of the two, eyes pleading as you reached for him.

“Steve…? Tell him, Steve,” you said, pushing yourself against him. “Let me keep him.”

Steve’s eyes landed on James, the dark-haired man almost daring Steve to say something.

“Let’s just think about it-.”

“Absolutely not. We’ll be lucky if no one has already noticed his absence…”

“No,” you breathed. “James, no.”

“I’m taking him back. Now,” he hissed, brushing past you.

“No,” you cried, standing in his way. “I hardly ask you for anything.”

James’ eyes widened at your uncharacteristic behavior, and you clutched his shirt.

“...and I should. I should ask you for the world. I deserve it! I can take care of him, James.”

Your voice was small, and James gave you a regretful look before glancing away.

“Let me have this one thing,” you softly begged.

James was quiet, so was Steve, and the only sound was that of Billy finishing his food. James clenched his jaw, nostrils flaring before finally speaking.

“Steve.”

You fought in Steve’s hold as he grabbed you, holding you back as James approached Billy. You screamed as he stared into the boy’s eyes, Billy falling asleep only moments later, James catching him with ease.

“Fuck you, James,” you spat as he passed you. “Fuck you!”

You could feel the pain that your words caused, but you didn’t care. You turned to press your face into Steve’s chest as the door slammed shut, collapsing in his arms. He tightened his arms around you, shushing you as sobs wracked your frame.

“You could have killed him.”

“I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t have done that-.”

“You don’t know that,” he said. “You’re still fairly young. You could have easily killed him, and then what?”

You shoved yourself away from Steve, wrapping your arms around yourself as you sniffed.

“You did this to me,” you mumbled.

It was an old argument. You and Steve were in a far better place than what you used to be, but you were still so far from where you could be. You looked to him, eyes hard and lip curling over your teeth.

“I wanted kids. I always wanted kids, and you took that away from me…”

Steve sighed, looking down.

“I want to blame you...but the truth is...a part of me hates James too,” you confessed.

“Y/N-.”

“...because the truth is...that life was gone the moment James decided that I was to be his.”

Steve reached for you, but you stepped away. Your eyes briefly fluttered close, a soft scoff escaping your lips.

“It’s not fair,” you whispered, shaking your head. “It’s not fair.”

You flurried past him, slamming your shoulder into his as you passed by.

Steve’s hold was almost bruising on your hips, his own pushing up into yours over and over again with every thrust. You dug your nails into his chest, head thrown back to accommodate for James, his lips tasting the skin of your neck and shoulder. Your lashes fluttered as you clenched around Steve, and James’ nails pressed into your skin.

“I don’t like that he touched you,” he murmured against your skin.

You sighed when Steve wrapped his lips around a hardened bud.

“It was a means to an end…”

James hummed, Steve far too preoccupied with the way his cock slid in and out of you.

“...and if I had to seduce some other woman as a means to an end?” he wondered.

His tone was teasing, and you all knew he wasn’t serious, but you froze anyway, turning your head to stare into his eyes. Your own hardened considerably, and James chuckled at the fire in your eyes.

“A bit of a double standard, no?”

“James,” Steve dragged out, frustrated that you’d stopped moving. “Why must you choose now of all times to upset her?”

“It was a simple question,” the dark-haired man said with a shrug.

“The day you seduce someone else, a means to an end or not, is the day I finally drive a stake through your heart,” you calmly told him.

James smirked, brushing his lips over yours.

“Come now, my love. I was only teasing…”

With a devious smile of your own, you twisted your hand into his hair, thankful that he’d never cut it too short, before forcing him onto his back beside Steve. You dragged your nails along his chest, drawing blood and taking great satisfaction in the way he’d hissed. You moved your hips over Steve’s as you leaned over to glide your tongue over his skin, James moaning at the feel. Your teeth ached, the desire to sink your teeth into him strong. Your lips moved against his heaving chest as you spoke.

“I don’t joke about what’s mine.”

tags: @mcudarklibrary @harryspet @xoxabs88xox @darkficreposter @opheliadawnwalker3 @honeychicanawrites @honeychicana @nickyl316h @captainchrisstan @sebabestianstan101 @readermia @villanellevi @lokislastlove @notyourtypicalrose @coconutqueen21 @hurricanerin @buckybarnesplumwhore @quaksonhehe @nerdygirl8203 @patzammit @mandiiblanche @cocoamoonmalfoy @mrsdeanwinchester19 @ahoemine @9daykrisr

#dark steve rogers #dark bucky barnes #dark steve x reader #dark bucky x reader #vampire!stucky #Dark fics #marvel fanfiction #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky x reader

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ameliora-j · 3 years

Text

sure // rw x reader

words: 1.8k

warnings: smut, overstimulation kinda, finger sucking, size kink if you squint, daddy kink, subspace but not focused, sort of enemies to lovers

a/n: i hate the ending to this i’m not gonna lie but aye first smut

you didn’t really know much. you learned a lot, but you never truly retained the information. after tests and exams, knowledge went just as quickly as it came. however, one thing that you did know. one thing that you were absolutely sure of was that you absolutely despised ron weasley. and nothing in the world could ever change that. you can admit, you did used to have a crush on the redhead... before you found out his true personality of arrogant asshole.

the two of you were in the same friend group, but don’t be mistaken... he was absolutely not your friend. you would first die before ever calling the selfish, pompous, arrogant git your friend. he was so full of himself. you didn’t understand how harry and hermione could be friends with someone like that.

harry and hermione were tired of the two of you constantly bickering and ignoring your—quite obvious, according to them—feelings for each other. and you guess that’s how you wound up in this situation. harry and hermione had taken both you and ron’s wands and locked you in the room of requirement with the threat: “if you two don’t speak to each other and become friends we won’t ever let you out.”

at least they made the room cozy. it was everything you needed, a small room with a bed in the center, and a desk against one of the walls. it was also accompanied with a small en-suite bathroom and water and snacks. you were happily reading in your dorm alone before hermione dragged you here, saying that it was an issue that needed immediate attention.

you had probably been here for about an hour with the redhead, sitting silently and not even looking at each other. finally, you were bored of counting seconds, so you retreated to the desk and opened your book and continued reading where you had left off, still ignoring the tall, muscular redhead laying on the bed.

it was going very well untill you began to see small paper butterflies landing on the desk in front of you. you contained your smile as you watched yet another charmed paper butterfly fly across the room and land in front of you. this caused you to close your book and spin around to face him as you set it on the desk. “did y’need something, weasley?” you asked him.

“they won’t let us out of here unless we talk. and i need to study our playbook for the next quidditch game,” he told you. you hummed softly before turning back around and opening the book again.

“i don’t have anything to say to you. you hate me, you don’t want to be my friend, and i’m okay with never speaking to you again,” you spoke, matter-of-factly as you began reading again.

you heard a deep sigh before ron’s footsteps began coming closer to you. you felt his presence behind you and he put his hand on your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. your face heat up as you swallowed thickly and bit your lip nervously. “we both know that’s not true now, is it, princess?” he smirked devilishly.

you don’t know what it was, but something in his eyes made you want to listen to his every word. do whatever he told you to. submit. you nervously shook your head as you struggled to remember exactly how to breathe. he hummed again, keeping his grip on my jaw as he stared down at me. “tell me, princess. how do you really feel?” he raised an eyebrow.

“nervous,” you croaked.

“nervous?” he hummed. “why nervous?”

“you,” you breathed out.

“i make you nervous?” he found great pleasure in this information as he smirked down at you. you nodded again and he removed his grip from you, moving to sit on the desk in front of you. “c’mere,” he beckoned, reaching his hand out.

you nervously took his hand and moved so i was standing in between his legs. his hands moved your hair away from your neck before landing on your hips and tugging you closer to him. you sucked in a gasp as your senses became engulfed with him. “y’very pretty,” he murmured into your ear before placing a soft kiss behind it. “thank you,” you stuttered as you searched for air.

“‘m gonna kiss you now,” he spoke and you nodded your consent. he tangled his hands in your hair and pulled you impossibly closer as he pressed your lips to his. it was already very clear that he was the one in charge, the kiss just solidified that as his tongue licked inside of your mouth and you mewled against his lips. he stood from the desk and lead you backwards to the bed, pushing you gently down on it and crawling over you.

“‘s this your first?” he asked, and you shook your head nervously. “good. cus ‘m not gonna be gentle,” he smirked as he began to leave kisses down your neck. you tugged gently on his shirt, causing him to sit up and pull it off. the two of you undressed each other as you continued making out.

once ron had your pants off, he began kissing down your body. you whimpered and squirmed slightly as he got down to your thighs. “please,” you whimpered breathlessly. he smirked as he pulled off your panties and left a kiss on your clit. you moaned softly, tangling your hands in his hair as he licked up your slit.

“so wet f’me,” he commented as he circled your entrance with his middle finger. “please, want it,” you whined, bucking your hips into him. he shushed you, pushing your hips back down to the mattress as he finally gave you what you want, pushing his middle fingers into you. you moaned as he curled them and quickly found that special spot.

“fuck,” you whimpered as his thumb came up to rub at your clit. “so good,” you whined as he began moving his fingers faster. you whimpered as his free hand reached up to play with your nipple, rolling the rapidly hardening bud between his fingers.

“you gonna cum?” he asked and you nodded, whimpering out a small “please,” making him smirk at how quickly he got you to submit to him.

“go head, princess,” those three words were all you needed. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as stars danced across your vision and your legs shook as you fell into ecstasy. his fingers fucked you through it and his thumb never stopped it’s circles on your clit, even as you came down.

“please, please, please,” you whimpered as you tried to squirm away from it. “one more for me, princess,” ron hummed. you whined softly as you gripped his wrist, letting out small gasps and whimpers as he practically tickled a second orgasm from your already tired body.

“good girl,” he praised as he fucked you through the second release, only pulling away when you whimpered and squirmed away. “open,” he instructed as he brought his fingers up to rest on your bottom lip. you followed his instruction, lolling out your tongue as he pushed his fingers into your mouth, making you clean them off. “y’ready to take me, princess?” he asked.

you nodded with a small whimper of “please.” he ran his tip up your slit, collecting your slick on him before slowly pushing his cock into you, making you moan at the stretch. ron wasn’t your first, but he was definitely the biggest. you were sure he knew that as you saw him smirking down at you as he kept pushing it in. “is that all?” you whimpered after a while.

“almost princess, halfway there,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed you softly. you whined softly as he pushed in even further, bottoming out as he hit your cervix. you moaned loudly as you arched into him, begging him to move.

he obliged, setting a quick pace as his arm wrapped around your leg, setting it over his shoulder for a better angle. “fuck. so tight,” he grunted in your ear as he rutted into you. you couldn’t contain your moans as the head of his cock repeatedly hit your spot inside of you, making you beg for more.

“daddy,” you shrieked as he moved your other leg over his shoulder, making his cock go that much deeper.

“oh fuck say it again pretty girl,” he moaned as his thumb found your clit, rubbing in time with his thrust.

“daddy please,” you whimpered as you took his free hand and moved it to rest on your throat. he raised an eyebrow as he smirked down at you. “such a dirty little girl,” he hummed as he squeezed gently.

you moaned louder as you arched further into him, whimpering and begging. “shh. take it,” he hummed as he abused your cervix with his cock.

“wanna cum please,” you whined softly as you felt your lower abdomen clench. “please please please,” you whimpered repeatedly as he continued his assault on your cunt.

“hold it,” he demanded. however, he didn’t let up, causing you to whine loudly as you thrashed about the bed, trying not to release the pleasure ron was currently giving your body. “cum with me princess, now,” he hummed.

the third orgasm hit you even harder than the first two. it was unending as ron continued to fuck you through it, every drag of his cock against your walls intensifying it twofold as you cried his name over and over, feeling his hot cum spurt inside of you. you whimpered softly as you came down, looking up at him doe-eyed. “you okay, pretty girl?” he asked softly.

“thank you daddy,” you hummed softly, ignoring his question. he smiled down at you, pressing a kiss to your lips as he slowly pulled out. you mewled at the ache in your lower body and hissed as you felt the sheets drag against your swollen, sensitive clit.

“just gonna clean you up, yeah? then we can nap,” he spoke gently as he carried you into the bathroom. he sat you on the toilet, making you go so that you didn’t get a uti before he ran a bath for you. he got in behind you as he gently washed you off, careful of all your sensitive areas as he hummed gently to you, bringing you back down to earth.

“ron?” you asked gently as he wrapped you in a big, fluffy towel. he hummed in acknowledgment and you looked up at him. “what does this make us?” you asked shyly.

“how bout i take you on a date first. and then we’ll decide that. deal princess?” he asked as he lead you back into the room and began to change you.

“okay,” you hummed. he smiled as he pulled on a pair of boxers and got into bed with you, pulling you into his chest.

you didn’t really know much. however, if there was one thing that you were absolutely sure of.. it’s that... maybe you didn’t despise ron weasley.

#ron weasley #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley fluff #ron weasley smut #ron weasley x reader #harry potter smut #harry potter #harry potter x reader

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mbti-notes · 3 years

Note

hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

#istj #auxiliary te #fi loop #inferior ne #te #efficiency #problem solving #working smart #creativity #change #perspective #social skills #ask

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the-devils-girl94 · 3 years

Text

A Heated Nightly Gaming Session

Prompt: Popsicle Licking

Characters: Leviathan x Fem! MC

Content Warnings: A slightly Dom!MC, blowjobs, teasing Levi

A Fic for @voltage-vixen 's Summer of Smut Challenge! Enjoy!

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Knock, knock.

Your knuckles tapped against a large door and you heard a voice call out,

"Who is it?

"Levi, it's me, (Y/N). I'm here for our nightly gaming sesh," you answered. You held up a bag of snacks and treats. "I brought some snacks. Hope you don't mind that some of them are popsicles."

You heard the mechanics of the locks switching. And the tall door swung open to reveal a tank top wearing Levi, who blushed when he saw that you were also wearing a tank top and shorts. He averted his eyes from wandering to your chest.

"Th-thanks! I don't mind, (Y/N). I think it's more of a life saver since the heat has been so crazy," he stammered.

You noticed a bit of sweat on him, but it looked mostly dried. So you thought to yourself that he probably had some fans going full blast in his room. 'A life saver, indeed,' you thought as you smiled, handing him the bag to rummage through. The Avatar of Envy beamed when he saw the popsicles and saw that some were of his favorite flavors. He stepped to the side and saluted you for these offerings. You chuckled at his antics as you passed him and Levi followed suit, letting the door close behind him.

Your assumption of him having fans was correct. However, you didn't expect to see a huge fort assembled out of blankets and 4-5 fans surrounding said fort blowing into the entrance. The inside had lots of pillows strewn about and floor lights tucked on each side to keep the blanket from blowing away. It looked cozy and cool. But you had to tease him about it because why not?

"Wow, Levi. You're really going all out, huh?," you swirled around to face him with a smirk on your face. "You sure this isn't a date?"

The poor soul stopped in his tracks and his face erupted into a deep shade of red. His voice became slightly high-pitched as started to stumble and tumble over his words, trying to explain that it wasn't like that. "H-h-hold on, (Y/N)! It's not like that at all! You know its hot and I can't stand the heat! I just wanted to build a fort so I could utilize the best way to cool down and I-," he talked fast, so fast that his words were almost blending together.

You could see his mind swirling like a hypnotizing illusion as he explained away and you just had to stop him before you got thrown into the whirlwind too. Placing your hand on his forearm, Levi shut himself up. "Levi," you spoke softly, "you know I was just teasing, right?"

"Huh!? Oh, yeah, but still- I mean, that was mean of you, but you know," he scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks tainted pink. He avoided your eyes as he told you, "It could be a date if you want it to be."

You smiled and took his hand, startling him. You dragged his butt into the fort and sat him down next to you. "Then it shall be a date, O' Lord of the Shadows," you declared in your most impressive Medieval voice.

Leviathan's eyes startled sparkling and he nodded his head at you. "Th-thank you, Henry!"

_____________________________________

"Ooh, he's on the attack, Levi! Get him!"

"Crap, I see him but I can't get to him yet! I need to take out this guy first!"

You watched with bated breath as Levi tried his best to survive an ambush in a new game he bought. Luckily for you, it wasn't a game you could get sucked into, but it was certainly entertaining to watch the Avatar of Envy play. So far, Levi had managed to take out a bunch of enemies, but the one he was currently struggling with was so powerful. It gave the chance for a few of the enemies who were still standing to gain the upper hand by trying a sneak attack.

You whined as you worried about whether this would be a victory or a loss. But, unbeknownst to you, Levi had a trick up his non-existent sleeve. You gasped when all of a sudden the most powerful enemy ended up falling when Levi pulled a combo move and cheered when the victory image popped up. Leviathan whooped as you cheered and the both of you cheer a high five.

"That was amazing, Levi!," you praised, clapping your hands together. His cheeks turned a light pink, but he grinned at you. "It was no problem," he said. "These games are no match for an otaku such as myself."

You chuckled and reached for the bag of treats you bought earlier. Lots of the contents of the bag were eaten except for the popsicles, which you noticed were starting to melt a bit. You grabbed two that were more solid than the rest and handed one to Leviathan. "Here. I think this one is your favorite," you said, placing the cold trear in his hand. "We should eat these up before they melt. The others certainly did."

"Ah, ok. Thanks, (Y/N). I kinda want to take a break from gaming right now."

Unwrapping your popsicle, you asked, "Then do you want to put on an anime instead?"

To that, Levi shook his head. "Actually...I was wondering if you wanted to cuddle. It is supposed to be a...a date, right?"

Your eyes widen at him. You were almost shocked that he even managed to say the word 'cuddle' without stuttering. You found yourself another perfect opportunity to tease him, so you sent a gentle smile his way and nodded. You popped your popsicle into your mouth and crawled towards Leviathan. He jumped slightly when you placed yourself right on his lap, making it hard for the poor demon to focus his gaze on anywhere else besides your bosom and making him drop his popsicle. You smirked inwardly because you knew he had to stare at either your chest or your eyes. And he could never stare into your eyes for long without feeling like his face was about to explode.

"So how do you want to cuddle, Levi?," you slowly took out your popsicle, making sure that your slurping was pretty obvious. You licked your lips and Leviathan's eyes followed. "Is it okay if we cuddle in this position or do you want me to be the little spoon?"

The purple haired demon gulped. Your sex appeal was over 9000! He knew you were teasing him and it was working. He thought it was a bit unfair how his lust for you was building up just by a few actions by you. He sighed, his ears hot and reddened, and you felt strong arms wrap around your middle, catching you by surprise. Your popsicle dropped when he buried his face into your chest and it was your turn to be flustered.

"H-hey, Levi! So you do want to cuddle like this, huh?," you still tried to tease but you were stammering. Levi's grip on you tighten and you soon felt something poking you in your nether regions. 'O-oh. Oh!,' you thought.

"I went too far in teasing you again, didn't I?," you brought your hand to ruffle his hair. The Avatar of Envy whined which vibrated through your chest, making you giggle. "Sorry, sorry, you big baby," you apologized, laughing softly.

"You know that's unfair, (Y/N). You can't keep teasing me like this."

"Then do you want to help you?," you replied, showing him that you were willing by grinding down on him. Levi stifled sucked in a sharp breath. He looked up into your eyes, lust swirling, which you met. "Might wanna answer. You feel as if you're rock hard, Levi," you grinded down again but more slowly.

"Fuck, (Y/N)," groaned Levi who decided fuck it and smashed his lips against yours. You gasped at the sudden action, your lips parting open enough for Leviathan's tongue to slip in. His tongue was forked like a serpent's and it started to explore and taste every part of the inside your mouth. You moaned into the kiss, feeling the heat building up in your core. It didn't help much that Leviathan was bucking his hips, rubbing his cock against your clothed sex. You deepened the kiss, tongues swirling and dancing as the two of you dry humped each other.

Levi could taste the flavor of that popsicle you had earlier and couldn't help but think of how delicious it tasted. He wanted to go to the next step, feeling the need to be inside you. His cock throbbed with the urge to feel you surrounding his cock. His grip on you started to lessen and you could feel his hands drop down to your hips right above your shorts. He started to tug on them, so you broke the kiss to grab his hands, panting softly. "Do you want to take these off me?," you asked. Though you would've chucked them even if he didn't want to.

Levi nodded, too focused on wanting to fuck you to say anything. You stood and put your hands on his shoulders for balance, feeling his fingers go under the fabric. Your shorts slid off with ease but he didn't remove your panties. Instead he pulled you back into his lap, leaving them on. Of course you caught on and smirked at him. You opted to say nothing this time to not embarrass him, but you did push him so that he fell backwards.

"(Y-Y/N)!," he started, but you shushed him with a finger. You grabbed the hem of his sweatpants and he watched as you pulled them back. His cock sprang forward, a string of precum leaking from the tip. It looked absolutely delicious to you.

Wrapping your hand around the base, you set a firm grip on it, causing Levi to wince. Not from the pain but from the pleasure of physical contact. It felt so solid and hard in your hand and you leaned down to flick the tip with your tongue.

"Aah, shit!," groaned Levi. His hands had flown to cover his face since he didn't want to put them on your head. You gave his cock another lick before sliding the tip into your mouth. The Avatar of Envy bucked his hips but he didn't get much farther that you would allow. You swirled your tongue around the head of Levi's cock before you started to bob your head. Every time you went down, you would take more of his cock into your mouth until your nose was buried into a purple patch of pubes. Your sex pulsated and dripped with need everytime his dick hit the back of your throat. All the while, all Levi could chant was your name over and over.

You soon released him when you saw that you had completely covered his dick in your saliva. Crawling back on top of him, you removed your tank top, letting your breast feel the cool air surrounding you two. "You can remove your hands from your face, Levi. I want you to see me," you gently moved his hands away, only to see a completely flustered Leviathan. His eyes were half lidded and lust filled, his face redder than a tomato. Drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth and onto the pillow beneath his head.

"Oh my," you smirked. "You look like you're experiencing true bliss right now, Levi. Are you aching to cum right now?"

You lowered your body so that your breasts were squished against his chest. You caressed his face before kissing him, which he eagerly returned. You both started to sit up, your arms wrapped his neck and legs around his waist, and his hands found their way back to your hips once more. He broke the kiss to put his head on your shoulder and went to move your panties to the side. You could feel him trembling, hurrying with his movements to finally get inside you.

You whined low in your throat when you felt his cock pushing against your opening. You hugged him tightly and squealed when he pushed past your opening and every inch of him slid inside you. "Fuck, fuck, Levi," you groaned and heavily panted. He kissed your cheek as a way to apologize and waited a moment to move for you to adjust to his size.

Once the moment had passed, you immediately knew that you weren't heading back to your room anytime soon. At first, he started at a slow pace but they got faster and faster until your mewls turned to moans and your moans turned to you chanting his name over and over. The sound of skin slapping and the squelching sound of your pussy taking in his cock in every thrust fills the room.

Leviathan's grip on your hips tightened and you found yourself on your back being pounded away at. His balls slapping against your ass.

"(Y/N)~, you feel so good! So fucking tight, so fucking wet," moaned Levi. Your pussy clenched at every thrust he gave you, making you scream/moan to the point you couldn't reply back with how good he was making you feel. His thrusts were becoming erratic and that was a sign for you that he was about to cum. "L-Levi, I want you to cum in-," you got cut off by him sealing your lips with a kiss as he gave one final thrust, spilling his seed deep inside of you. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you as he came.

You kept your legs wrapped around him as you two continued to make out until you both needed air. You both broke away, a trail of saliva connecting the two of you before breaking, panting heavily. There was a moment of silence between you two as you had to catch your breath. Levi was drenched heavily in sweat which was dripping a bit on you. A hand touched your cheek and a kiss was planted on your forehead by the Avatar of Envy. You gave him a sweet smile and broke the silence, saying, "I think I would love our nightly gaming dates more if we did this often."

Leviathan blushed at your statement and replied, "Y-yeah, me too. Let's get you cleaned up."

He tried to move so that he could get up, but your legs locked him in place. He felt hands going up his tank top, feeling over his stomach up to his chest. He gasped when your legs made him thrust up into your pussy. He looked down at you, lust darkening his eyes once more when he heard you whine his name.

"Levi~, make me cum first."

((This is the longest fic I have ever written, bruh. My brain hurts from braining but this was the home stretch. I hope you guys like it. It's the first of many even if I don't make it to the 20th to get done with the prompts that I have, but I will still post them since I know it will haunt me.))

#lexi writes #obey me!#summer of smut #obey me leviathan #leviathan #leviathan x mc #obey me character x mc #obey me smut #enjoy this smutty post

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sweetaesuga · 4 years

Text

in your eyes | m

pairing: jungkook x female reader!

genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, fratboy jk! ex-fuckboy jk! bookworm reader! friends to lovers!

warnings: language, insecurity, drinking, dom jungkook! fingering in public, exhibitionism, female masturbation, grinding, oral (m), dirty talk, light choking, degrading (slut/whore), squirting, creampie, unprotected sex (both are clean but stay safe), bathroom sex, riding, pinning.

word count: 10.6k+

synopsis: jungkook always sees you like the only girl in the world, and you just see him as a fuckboy. OR jungkook just wants a chance🥺

↳ a/n: first time i ever write a fic or smut please enjoy🤧

You were only sixteen when you met him. He stepped into the classroom in all dark baggy clothes in an uneasy walk. At first glance you would of thought he was a timid person. Wrong, under all of that bullshit you see an egoistic and self-assured asshole that you're somehow happy to call your friend. You even learned that it was facade. Jungkook was a boy with a good heart who always remained loyal to all of his friends.

Jungkook just turned seventeen when he met you, noticing you straight away when you had a nice sense of fashion. You always had on an accessory that matched with the color of your shirt or jeans. You also always wore a bit of bright colors in your outfits. The bright unique makeup is what caught his attention too. He was proud to call you his friend.

When you both happily entered the same college along with your best friend Hayoon, everything changed. He began hanging out with a new group of friends, they were all older than them and deeply influenced him. He joined a fraternity then and began spending less time with you. He only came over to study or celebrate your birthday. His busyness merely reminded you how he preferred to spend his time hooking up with random girls every week rather than play board games with you or rant to him about your new book you were reading.

You don't exactly remember when he started but you do remember all the girls that talked about how amazing he was in bed which solely added more uncertainty on you. You even walked in on him and a freshman girl going at it in one of the sorority’s room at a party you were both attending.

The memory of when he started crushing on you was foggy to you but he always remembered it in a flash. It was when he had a taekwondo match, where circumstantially Jungkook's girlfriend, who wasn't really his girlfriend, at the time couldn't make it. His hopes were put down by the thought of someone not supporting him, since he always tried his best with his own cheerleader being there.

In the middle of the match, his eyes scanned the bleachers, wishing for someone to be there. His wishes were granted as he saw you there. Standing awkwardly, you gave him a little wave with a smile. His chest heaved in glee, sending you a quick smile before he returned to his match.

The sound of you screaming his name when he won, put a enormous smile on his face. Jungkook watched you run down the bleachers, apologizing to all the people you were bumping through. You leaped into his arms easily.

Your next words to him were a blur since Jungkook was too focused on just having you in his arms. He was grinning happily at you, hair sticking to his forehead. His heart heaved with warmth as you hugged him tightly.

He was twenty-one and you were twenty when he realized he had a crush on you.

You were seventeen when you realized you liked him.

But you were nineteen when you realized you would never be good enough for him.

"He then had the audacity to ask me if I slept with anyone else! The nerve of that guy," you felt like your ear was going to bleed out just by listening to your best friend blabber about her ex-boyfriend.

"Why don't you just stop talking to him? I don't know...block his number or something?" you suggested, very uninterested in this conversation about her ex-boyfriend contacting her. She could simply just block him out her life and be done with him.

You stared at the worn out rubber of the tip of your black converse. She popped the gum in her mouth, the sound became annoying to you. Hayoon squinted her eyes at you, trying to find something to say to argue back to you. She instead changed the subject. "Where were you on Saturday?"

"Studying like the rest of the students here," you moved to rest your weight onto your right leg. "I just can't seem to understand how finals are coming up and some people are out here partying? The library was packed when I got there."

"Yeah well I wouldn't know because I didn't go," she grinned at you. "Instead I went to a party because I'm not a loser like you!" Hayoon giggled to herself and you rolled your eyes. "Also," she popped the gum loudly. "Jungkook was asking for you. Calling for his dream girl. . .or something like that—I don't know can't remember—too drunk you know?"

Your ears perked up to that. "Really?" you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear that got in the way and leaned forward. "Did you remember why he was looking for me?"

Hayoon grinned again. "Even if I do know why would you care? Don't you hate him or something?" she smiled evilly and threw her head back.

You froze and leaned back to your seat. You know what she was trying to do and it was never going to happen.

You were never going to give Jeon Jungkook a chance.

Jungkook stumbled into the library, eyes searching for you immediately. There was nearly a crowd of students that were preparing for finals. "Hey have you guys seen Y/N?" he asked a study group. A girl in your class answered him, telling him that you were somewhere by the windows.

Of course you were, he thought to himself. You would be seated at your usual spot. He walked over to the windows and spotted you straight away. Watching your figure become closer as he walked further, he took the sandwich out of his bag. "Hey Y/N!" you already knew that voice. You looked up at Jungkook. As usual he looked drop-dead gorgeous. He wore his usual dark baggy outfit, a black cargo jogger and a much darker hoodie with some black combat boots. He was showing off his helix piercing and his fresh new haircut.

"Nice haircut," you referred to his undercut and the fact that he was showing forehead. "Seems like you spent a lot of time on it."

"Yeah! Just for you," he smiled, his cheeks being pushed up. You let out a heavy sigh, clearly not in the mood for his flirtatiousness. "Got you a sandwich, by the way," he laid it in front of you.

You let out a small smile and took it from him, trying not to show how your mouth got watery so quickly. "Thanks, you didn't have to though," he shook his head.

"I don't want you starving to death," he sat down next to you, shoulder pressing against yours. "What are you studying for?" his nose nuzzled your ear. You rolled your eyes and shoved him away, ignoring the goosebumps his warm breath caused.

"Just getting my notes ready. Wanna highlight or color code it but feel like it's going to fuck up everything. Also don't wanna be those fucking girls that always have to make their fucking notes pretty. Also, do I look tired?" he studied your face for any features that made you seem exhausted. "I was up till two in morning watching these two Indian guys build a pool."

His eyes lit up. "Oh my god, I come across from those too."

"I know they came up all over my fucking Youtube recommendations. I got sucked into binge watching them. It makes me feel fucking lazy to be honest, the amount of fucking water they carry back and forth. I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

Jungkook snickered and made a note of how much you swore. "I need to make a swear jar for you. You swear too much."

"Not even," you laughed back at him and nudged his shoulder. "I'm just a little frustrated and stressed right now," his gaze dropped on the purple pins in your hair, holding each side of your hair. "I called my mom and she said to not stress over this, but you know how I get," you frowned and turned to him. He finally took in your appearance. Your bright purple eyeshadow with purple gems adorning the top of it. You wore a purple flare pants and a white long sleeved, deep v-line crop top. His eyes dropped down to your cleavage, trying to see if you had a bra on.

"Holy shit Y/N!" the students around him shushed him. He burned up and muttered a sorry to them, you giggled at how embarrassed he looked. "You look amazing. What's the special occasion?"

"Nothing," you shook your head, a smile still on your face. "Can't I dress up once in awhile?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, knowing that you normally only wear outfits like this when they’re new or it’s the first week of school. "Okay," you dragged your word out. "I got this outfit last week and really wanted to use it today. It's cute right?"

"Yeah, really cute," he toyed with your hair pins, messing up your hair.

Neglecting his comment, you carried on. "I even got up in early in the morning to do my makeup. If I'm gonna show up wearing a new outfit, I might as well have a cute ass face to go with it," you frowned when you remembered something. "And I realized I don't have different color hair pins, they're all purple so thank fuck the fucking pants are purple."

"Well I think you look very cute, Y/N. Boop!" he poked your nose gently. You swatted his hand away, warning him to stop but all you're given is a large bunny smile. "Come on, eat your sandwich. I didn't just come all the way over here searching for you just to talk to you."

"Actually you did bitch."

"Oof, swear jar," he rested his palm out in front you. You took a bite out of the sandwich, placing a quarter on his palm. "No a dollar, Y/N."

"No! What the fuck—wait!" he held out his palm again. "That's not fucki—hold up, you can't just say a dollar," you whined and grabbed your bag. "I don't have money growing out of my ass."

"I don't know that yet. I'm gonna have to check to make sure," you threw a dollar at him. He laughed and picked it up.

"I know your kind," you spatted at him and tossed the other two dollars at him which he easily caught. "Wanna drain my f-freaking bank account."

"Oh come on, I want you to be my sugar mama," he jested, leaning forward to give you a huge smug.

"Sucks to be you actually. I'm looking to be a sugar baby, not a sugar mama," you glanced over your shoulder towards him. His laugh echoed and you watched as students gave him a dirty look from how loud it was.

"Of course. You're the brokest bitch in the city no one actually wants you to be their sugar mama," you gasped at his words.

"Am not!"

"Are so!" you both laughed at each other. His hand searched for yours underneath the table. He must've noticed how tensed up you had gotten when he found it, managing to wrap your smaller fingers into his. "I've been meaning to talk to you by the way."

You groaned, knowing where this will be going. "Jungkook, stop I'm not in the mood," you caught a quick glimpse of the time. "Look, I have to go, my bus will be coming soon." You don't let him mention anything else. Bolting out of the library, you leave a crestfallen Jungkook behind.

He shook his head and took the half eaten sandwich you also left behind. He trailed behind you, backpack threatening to fall down his arm. You proceeded to walk to the bus stop, Jungkook just close behind. "Didn't see you at the party on Saturday?" the voice came from behind you. You opt to ignore it but by the sound of his voice it was easy to tell that he has been dying to ask this question. When you didn't answer him, he tried again. "Seriously where were you on Saturday?"

You sunk down on the bench. "None of your business."

"Well, I was kind of worried about you. I thought you were going to be there so that's why I came," he took a seat right besides you. "Once I saw you weren't there, I left."

"I was at the library studying for finals," you weren't sure why you were telling him this. After his little confession your heart felt weird. If you hadn't told him though, he probably would've guessed it. Still, he needed confirmation.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? We could’ve studied together!" he complained, nudging his shoulder with yours.

"Jungkook stop, I know what you're doing," you glared at him, wanting to get away. He frowned and reached over to hold you. "I already told you no," you hissed, disregarding the way his eyes appeared sunken at your response.

"Why not? I already told you, I'm not messing around anymore. I genuinely want to settle down with someone," he stared into your eyes with such intensity you felt like your brain was going to explode. Your ears took in his words slowly. "I want to be with you."

"Jungkook, please—"

"Come on, one date. I swear to god I've changed," he ranted. He's always been very keen on having a chance with you, but with all those girls that he used to take home you felt otherwise. You would listen to the girls on how good Jungkook was. How good he looked at night in the dark moonlight. How he would manhandle them in random places. How his muscles would appear every time he flexed them. How those hips of his were a miracle. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't ever want to see him that way too.

"I'm flattered, I really am—I just really don't want to be with someone like you. I'm sorry," you apologized, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

He blinked then squinted his eyes at you. "What do you mean someone like me?" He sounded somewhat offended at your words.

"You used to fuck around!" you fumed and threw your hands up. The bus was coming down the road towards the two of you. "I don't like that."

"Why not?" He's way too stubborn to let you go, you forgot.

"Because...I just don't okay? Lets leave it there," you stood up and walked over to the bus once it opened its doors. He followed close behind. Before you can enter your dollar into the machine, he does it for you.

The bus driver smiled at him while you glared at him. You walked to the back of the bus, smiling to all the other passengers but secretly upset. Jungkook still followed you like a lost puppy. You slid down in the seat. Your left arm feeling the side of the bus once you properly sat down. "Here, I'll pay you back," you hold out the dollar bill but he sat still in his seat.

"Well shit, sugar mama not right now," You sighed and put it back in your bag. You heard him snort.

"Come on, tell me why you won't give me a chance and I'll leave you alone," he offered. He held your eyes for a moment before you let out a breath of air and looked away.

If he’ll leave you alone, then you must have to say why you won’t grant him a chance with you, a chance for him to become your boyfriend.

"I'm too insecure for you," he opened his mouth but you shushed him. "I'm not...how do I put this? I'm not like them?" you questioned and glanced over at him. He had a look of worry washed all over his face. "The girls that you were with are those who are all popular, party all day, and are very attractive. They all do casual sex, and I don't want be that type of person, I want something serious. Like you have dated Soojin! She's really pretty, makes me gay even," you chuckled at yourself. "That's not the point though. If I'm with you, all I could ever think about is the girls you were with and how different I am from them. I just can't be with someone when all I'll ever think about are my insecurities with them. So how could I possibly ever be good enough for you?" you don't look at him after that.

He sighed and gripped your small hand into his. You almost cringed when you remembered how sweaty your hands were. "That's why I'm after you though. You're not like them. I wanted a change. You are good enough, you'll always be good enough for me. Hell, I feel like I’m not good enough for you. And I really don't care if you're any of that other stuff. I still want to have a shot with you." you don't realize how long you both were holding eye contact. The two of you don't look away from each other however. You don’t even comprehend how close you two have gotten. He reached over to push back a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your breath hitched.

"I don't know Jungkook, I'm just really unsure," you admitted and leaned back in your seat to create some distance between you two. "My mind isn't clear right now but I highly doubt I would want to give you a chance."

"Really? You don't want me?" he bit his lip and glanced over at you. "How can I change your mind?" you stopped functioning when he reached over to press up against your thigh. His fingers travelled over to your inner thigh. He kept rubbing circles around there for a few minutes, hand drawing closer each time. Your cheeks grew crimson once you wrapped your mind around on how wet you become so quickly, and he barely even touched you what an embarrassment.

You were only getting aroused quickly because of how long your dry spell was. You haven’t being touched in so long that you craved it so much, no matter who it was with.

"What are you doing?" you hated how you felt so hot under his eyes at the moment. He brushed you aside until you repeated your question again.

"Nothing," his lips curved upwards. He faced forward, ignoring the fact that his hand was practically between your legs.

"Jungkook, stop that!" you hissed and whacked his hand away. He withdrew his hand from your inner thigh but still kept it at the top of your thigh. His thumb gently tracing circles into your skin.

"Bet you're fucking wet under that," he commented. You caught his stare, watching his eyes fixed on your cleavage. A smile forms across his face when he takes notice of how you're rubbing your thighs together. "Don't be scared, I'll go easy on you. You wearing those pink panties that I love on you?"

You knew what he was referring to. Leaving your laundry on your bed wasn't a good idea especially when an excited Jungkook was coming over to watch a new episode of You, but he didn't give you time to pick it up so your baby pink lace underwear was out on the sheets. "Shut up. I'm not going to let you do shit," you furiously crossed your arms over your chest. His eyes flickered back down to your breasts that were shoved up into a tighter position.

"Really? You say that but you're on the verge of asking me to touch you. I know it, Y/N," you bit your lip hard to avoid saying something. You heard him laugh. "It's okay, no one will notice, if you're a good slut and keep your mouth shut." Your eyes widened at his words.

You’ve never been called a degrading name in bed. With the two boyfriends you’ve been with, they always called you loving names that had gotten boring quick as well as their vanilla sex. Yet somehow it stirred you up at the thought of being called a slut, especially Jungkook calling you that.

But it was almost like a completely different Jungkook had surfaced. You knew he was some sort of sex god but didn't expect him to have such a dirty mouth. You decided to test the waters. A little fun wouldn’t hurt.

You spread your legs a little wider, inviting him to get closer. He stared into your eyes as you stared down at his hand. "Unbutton your pants," he demanded. Your eyes expanded even more at his words. You were just thinking of getting him eager not to do something here.

You looked around to see if anyone could see or hear you two but they were all facing forward and minding their own business. Your hands went to unbutton your pants, pushing your zipper down. "Open your legs," you did as you were told. "Wider, wider," your right leg rested on top of his muscular thigh. "You wet enough?" he asked, reaching down to your core. You shivered when his hand entered your underwear. He sinks his two fingers in and you whined. He took his fingers out, gazing on the glistening wetness on it.

"Dirty fucking slut," he murmured and dig his fingers back into you. You gripped his wrist harshly but encouraged him to add more fingers. He complied and proceeded to finger you in the back of the bus. "Never thought I would finger the girl of my dreams in the back of the bus," he chuckled as he heard you calling out his name. "You gotta be quiet if you don't wanna get caught." he teased softly. He pounded his fingers into you faster. His eyes laying upon your furrowed eyebrows and bitten lip. You began to nudge into his fingers, meeting him halfway with the movement of your hips. Your grip on his wrist tightened as he touched your clit with the tip of his finger. He snorted and proceeded to move against you, ignoring his hardness that was forming in his pants. You threw your head back and stared up at the ceiling. You bit your lip hard, almost drawing blood.

Jungkook clutched your knee, forcing you to open wider. You raked over the passengers in the seat, who are still unaware of you getting fingered at the back of the bus. You moaned into his hoodie. You let go of his wrist to hold his bicep. He looked down at you. He reached over to cup your face, bringing your lips to meet his. You’re taken back a little but nonetheless you open your mouth to tempt him to slid his mouth in. He fulfilled your craving. The two of you looked like random teenagers making out in the back but what they couldn't see was his fingers stuck up your wet core.

"Jesus fucking Christ," you said under your breath, pulling away from his redden lips. His fingers pounded brutally into you. He showed no sign of slowing down.

"You make a fucking noise and I swear to god I will take you on this bus full of people. I don't give a fuck, Y/N," your pussy quenched around him at that. Your wetness glimmered on his fingers.

"Oh my god, Jungkook, oh my god," you moaned against his neck. Hiding your face from him, you picked up the pace of your hips. "Uh—fuck, holy shit do that again," you referred to him touching your clit. He does that again. "Oh fuck," you whimpered when you felt an uneasy feeling building up within you. "I'm gonna fucking cum."

"Yeah? That fucking early? I knew your little pussy wouldn't be able to take it," Jungkook's lips formed a smirk. "And this is just with my fingers babe. Bet you can't handle my dick," you ignored him. You sobbed into his neck and leaned up to kiss him in efforts to silence your moans, cumming hard all over his fingers. It takes two minutes before you released Jungkook from the kiss. He drew his hand away from your skirt and made sure you were holding eye contact with him when he cleaned his fingers with his tongue.

You gulped. Reality finally hit you. You had let Jungkook finger you in the back of the bus.

You pushed back against your seat and looked around to see if anyone was looking. Everyone on the bus was still unaware and you felt like you can breathe again. "Holy shit I can not believe we just did that," you brushed your hair back, somewhat disappointed at yourself for not stopping him.

Jungkook's smile surfaced. "I can't believe you just let me do that. Wanna return the favor?" he asks jokingly but watched your face to see if you were willing to suck him off. His hopes are put down when a frown appeared on your face and he could tell you wouldn't feel comfortable with that. "Joking babe."

"Don't call me that, please," you stressed. "This was a mistake, seriously don't ever speak of this with any of your friends. We're not going to speak of it either."

"I wasn't even going to," he muttered and looked away. "Funny how it's a mistake, Y/N, when you were over here telling me to keep going."

You fanned yourself, flapping your hand back and forth in front of your face. Jungkook looked at the layer of sweat near your hairline that glistened under the sunlight. "Stop, it was in the heat of the moment. It seriously was a mistake," he opened his mouth but you carried on. "Especially in the back of the bus, oh god, I'm really disappointed in myself," you zipped up your flare pants, not minding that your underwear is sticking to you.

"And I'm really disappointed in you too, for not giving me a chance," Jungkook said with knitted eyebrows. You sit away from him, making sure there was a good amount of space between the two of you. "Oh are you just going to ignore me now?" he isn't given a response, your tongue knotted together in your mouth. "So that's how it's gonna be now?"

You gathered your bag. The bus curving towards the upcoming bus stop. "This is my stop," you disclosed. He captured your forearm which quickly caught your attention.

"Don't be like this, Y/N." You shrug him off and walked out of the bus, leaving Jungkook and his gloomy thoughts behind.

"Shut up, stop playing with me!" Hayoon exclaimed, her eyes glimmered with interest as you filled her in on the day before. "You did not let Jungkook finger you on the back of the bus," she laughed out loud at her sentence, still not believing the words coming out of your mouth. You groaned and sunk your head back down on the table. "I mean gross, but hey, you're catching dick."

"I'm not catching dick, and stop saying it's gross it makes me even more disappointed in myself."

"I just don't understand how you can tell him you don't want him and tell him the reasons why and then let him finger you at the back of the bus?!" your face scrunched up at her words. "I seriously don't get it Y/N. It's like you're provoking the guy that's going after you and that's pretty fucked up. Play with his dick, not his emotions, oh wait—”

"I told him no multiple times."

"Then why the fuck would you let him finger you in the back of a bus?" Hayoon rubbed her temple before munching on a fry. "I think you do have a crush on him, you just don't want to date him because of all the girls he’s been with.”

You let her words settle in your mind for a moment, not even realizing that she held your hand in hers. "But baby, that's called the past. It's the least thing you got to worry about since you already know it. Take a risk, go out with him. He's ready to be in a serious relationship with you, he's been telling me this since Friday."

You sighed, lips forming a pout. "I don't know."

"Well make up your mind quick cause' he's coming this way," her words are rushed as she glanced over at Jungkook, who's heading over your way.

"What?!" you're just about to turn your head his direction when Hayoon grabbed your jaw.

"What are you doing you stupid bitch?! Don't look—okay, pretend like I'm not here, pretend like I'm not here!" she turned away from you and placed her earbuds in her ears.

"Wait does my hair look good?!" you caught her by the arm before she can leave.

"For who?"

You snapped her head towards Jungkook, who's already smiling at you. His black cap floated over his eyes as he dug his fingers into the pockets of his jogger pants. You coughed when you perceived that you were checking him out. "Um, no one. Just wanted to see if it's messy," you don't know why but your cheeks burned so hard, maybe at the fact that you know it is messy.

His hand came in contact with your head before he moved a strand of your hair that looked out of place before pushing your baby hairs down. You swatted his hands away, ignoring how your warm ears were tingling. "There, it's not that messy anymore. I brought something."

He sat down besides you. You eyes fluttered over to Hayoon. She spread a smirk out on her lips. While Jungkook continued finding the item he wanted to show you, something along the words that it was a jar. Her fist comes up besides her mouth, opening it slightly. Your cheeks become crimson when she began to push her left fist towards her mouth while her tongue kept knocking into her right cheek.

"Here," Jungkook placed a jar in front of you, the bright glittery letters mocking you. Swear Jar, it read at the front. "Every time you cuss, it's more money to my bank account."

Your lips loop downwards into a frown. Your eyebrows furrowed together in the progress. "Not fair, I told you I didn't want to be a sugar mama."

"Fine, this is both of our swear jar."

"Deal."

"Okay, now that that's out of the way, we can talk about yesterday," he put the glittery jar, he decorated last night for you, back in his backpack. A sudden weight pressed down on your shoulders at the thought of him bringing up what happened yesterday.

"Jesus Christ, what do you carry in there?" Hayoon added unintentionally and you're thankful for that. As much as she wanted to know about the encounter between the two of you, she also wanted to know what Jungkook carried in that big bag of his.

"Dildos."

"Wait, deadass?" she jumped up in her seat. I snorted at her, earning a glare. Jungkook's lips formed a line, specifying that he was joking. "Well fuck, it just looks like it's gonna break your back. Dude you know what that reminds me of?" she asked you. Your mind doesn't come across anything so you shook your head. "The Rosie girl? She was giving dildos out at this campus cause' she wanted to, quote, fight absurdity with absurdity. All over Twitter. Wish I could be there to get one."

Jungkook's eyes crinkled up as he laughed at her. The sound ringing through your ears, only to devaste you even more. "Can we talk about yesterday?" he leaned over and whispered to you.

You swore you felt his lips brushing against your ear. It stirred up your brain. "What about yesterday?" your hands started shaking and you hoped he didn't see how anxious you have become.

Luck wasn't on your side today however, his upcoming question boosting your anxiety even more. "Why are your hands shaking so much?" he grasped his bigger hand in yours.

You are quick to take it out of his. "We agreed that we wouldn't talk about what happened yesterday. It was a mistake I didn't—"

"No, you agreed that we wouldn't talk about it," his voice raised slightly to get your attention. Your mouth snapped shut. "We need to talk about it. How the fuck can you be playing with my feelings like this?" Hayoon whistled, mentally seeing eye to eye with Jungkook. "I want to have a chance with you, a shot at us. You give me all these mixed signals and then when I try to make a move on you, all of the sudden you act like a bitch Y/N."

"Well what do you want me to say? That I fucking like you back too?" you challenged and stood up from your chair. The students around you turned their heads over to you, watching the scene in front of them unfold. "How the fuck am I even playing with your feelings? I said I wanted to just be friends! I'm sorry that you're misinterpreted our friendship but that's not my problem!" you wished you could've shut your mouth but all you could see was red. Perhaps you were letting go of all the rage you’ve ever resented over him for the past months.

For ditching you to attend parties or being with other girls. For not always being there for you.

"What the fuck do you mean that's not my problem?!" he mimicked you, staring up at you. "You let me finger you and you expect me to believe that you just wanna be friends? Are you even listening to yourself?! You felt something back there."

Hayoon stepped in, walking over to the two of you. "Okay, I think you guys should just shut up," your eyes wandered around the room, where everyone was watching your interaction.

"Whatever," Jungkook's chair scraped the floor harshly as he pushed it back. He dug into his backpack before placing the jar in front of you. "You can keep that and this," he put down a package full of glittery hair pins, all different colors. Your heart wrenched as you watched him walk away, sullen. His steps are quick so he can take the attention off of him.

You turned the jar and saw that the top had words on it. Splattered in messy pink glitter, Sugar Mama's Swear Jar :D.

Jungkook was avoiding you. You could tell because he stopped coming after school to study with you, which was okay at first until you found yourself yearning for him.

It was stupid, really. After all that debate on how you two should just stay friends, you can't just tell him how much you miss him. That'll make you seem like an ass.

And trust me that's the last thing you want.

Your day was going bad, your professor yelled at you for not paying attention and put you in the spot, embarrassing you in front of the class. You were okay until a girl gave you a look of pity and you had a breakdown in the bathroom right after.

When you went to go meet up with Hayoon, it'll only got worse. She cancelled on you after forcing you to wait for her for thirty minutes. Just as you're leaving a group of middle schoolers thought it would be funny to step on a ketchup packet and let splatter everywhere, resulting in the back of your white top covered in dots of ketchup.

You swore you almost hit the kid who came up with it, even thought about running him over when you saw that the stains were everywhere and even in your hair.

After showering and getting the ketchup out of your hair, you went to work that ensued in you coming home with mascara practically running down your eyes, that were ready to pour out tears if something else happened to you, due to you wrongly mixing up orders and getting yelled out by a customer.

Now here you were, sitting on the living room floor with wet hair after taking another shower which mainly just involved you sitting on the tile floor and crying. You ate the Chinese takeout you have gotten during the way, ignoring the way people were staring at you, with sympathy.

It was the last thing you needed. Maybe karma was coming to get you for saying those things to Jungkook. But at this point all you wanted was some reassurance, a shoulder to cry on, someone to be there for you.

Jungkook.

You couldn't sleep. No matter how hard you tried you just couldn't. Hell, you even closed your eyes for a solid thirty minutes yet you were not able to drift off into slumber. Maybe it had to due with the weather? It was freezing, if you stepped a foot outside you would become an ice sculpture in an instant.

Or maybe, the most logical one compared to all the others, was Jungkook fingering you on the bus. You can't seem to get that scene off your mind. Your brain kept drifting over on how stunning he appeared, his dark eyes staring straight at yours as he watched your mouth form an O shape. He only ever broke eye contact when he snuck a look of how his fingers vanished into your pants.

Then your mind would stumble onto the memory of you yelling at him, telling him how his feelings for you were not your fault. You despised yourself at that moment. You sighed and laid back into your pillow, staring up into the ceiling. "I can't believe I am even having these types of thoughts," you slowly opened your legs while shutting your eyes. As long as you don't think about him, it'll be okay.

But you do. Sliding off your underwear, the first thing you thought about was Jungkook. His bunny smile rested on his face. You opened your eyes to get him off your mind and closed them again. You let out a gentle moan when you feel how wet you are.

He came back again. This time he settled right besides you on the bed. His hand is shoved between your legs. You moaned when he buried his head in your neck and kissed your skin there. "You like that, princess?"

You frowned immediately, he didn't call you any pet names. From what you can remember, he called you a degrading name.

"You like that dirty slut?" you mewled at him. He moved his fingers ceaselessly inside of you whilst breathing down your neck.

The sound of a zipper being undone makes your eyes crack open. You took a glimpse of Jungkook, his hand disappearing inside his jeans that displayed his muscular thighs.

You whined at him and he hovered on top of you. Your breathing got heavier as his cock sprung out of his jeans. "Oh god," you moaned as he slid himself inside of you so effortlessly. Your hands moved quicker inside of you. Feeling your wetness spill out of you and onto the mattress underneath you, you imagined him pounding into you. Your hands clamped on his long hair with your legs in the air as his hips furiously snapping into you.

It doesn't take you long to cum, given the fact at Jungkook's pace it seemed like he wasn't going to stop. He disappeared, leaving you sweaty and tired on the bed with your fingers stuck inside you. "Holy shit, I can not believe I just did that.

Recalling your words that were thrown at Jungkook, a heavy weight on your shoulder returned heavier as ever, reminding you how you practically lost your shot with him.

Shame on you for not giving Jeon Jungkook a chance.

"I think I was too harsh on him."

"You think? Don't lie to me bitch, you know you were fucking harsh on him," Hayoon stood in the middle of your room, scanning your closet for a dress she can wear to a party.

It was almost three days since your argument with Jungkook in front of everyone. You expected to make up with him on Thursday but Jungkook avoided you like you were the plague. He didn't text you for any notes he needed to borrow, nor did he usually come to study with you or leave you a sandwich. You never realized how apart of your life he became, especially when he didn't sit next to you for one of your shared classes. Instead, he chose to sit next to Taehyung, his best friend. It was Friday now and to be quite honest, you missed him.

"Don't trip about it. He could be at the party tonight, getting over you and possibly getting himself a girlfriend so you don't have to worry about him pinning over you. Now what the fuck should I wear?"

You didn't like the sound of that. Jungkook possibly finding another girl. Your consciousness settled back in your mind. How can you even say shit like that? You rejected him, you have no right to tell him not to move on. You sighed to yourself and laid back into the bed. "Maybe I shouldn't go. I don't wanna see him."

"I don't wanna see him." she dragged the straps of your orange dress up her figure. "Shut up because on Wednesday you kept asking why he wouldn't talk to you, like bitch I wouldn't talk to you either with that shit you pulled back there."

"Why not?"

"You're not serious right?" she turned back to you. She raised her eyebrow, challenging you. You groaned and followed her out of the room when she didn't receive an answer. "That's what I thought," you heard her under her breath.

"Not gonna lie, I think I'm gonna break my ankle with these bitches," you pointed down at your high heels, slowing down. You stopped to fix them. Hayoon carried on walking to her car, leaving you behind.

"You wanted to wear them. Now get in," she honked her horn. You hissed at her, reminding her that the neighbors are going to complain. "Don't give a fuck, get in loser we're going to party!" she honked her horn longer.

You ran to her car when you realized she wasn't going to stop. "You need the swear jar, you stupid bitch."

"Not even," before you could say something back, her music blasts through the car. She screamed out the lyrics, encouraging you to join along. "In your eyes! You lie but I don't let it define you—oh define you!"

"You sound like a dying cat."

"I tried to find—fuck you then."

Along the way you started to wonder how she even got her driver's license. Hayoon almost went on the sidewalk when she was tried to park which forced you to get out of the car and direct her.

"Keep going, keep going."

"Fuck, bitch you sure? I don't want another ticket for being on the red line," her head stuck out to make sure she wasn't going to hit the car behind her.

"Yes I'm sure—okay stop!" Hayoon shuts off the engine, stumbling out of the car. She laughed to herself before walking up to the fraternity house with you. "Okay, I forgot what it was like coming here."

The first smell that filled your nostrils was vomit. You glanced down towards the ground and saw a distraught girl on the front lawn throwing up while her friend rubbed her back. Hayoon advised you not to look, to give the poor girl some pity. Reluctantly, you entered the house with a clumsy walk. Hayoon noticed and suggested that you go have a drink. You at first declined but once your eyes scanned the room and landed on Jungkook leaning against a wall with a redhead clinging onto him. You made your way to the open kitchen. Unknown to you, jealousy boiled in your stomach.

So that's how you end up on your first shot of a tequila with a cup of vodka already resting in your liver. You weren't drunk, still you were not far from being tipsy. Conscious enough to see that Jungkook's eyes were on you while you downed the shot. Eyes focused on your throat as you swallowed. He exhaled, watching you pull out your phone and tap away. The red head girl right besides him, tried calling his name out to hook his attention. He brushed her off, muttering something to her that he didn't sleep around anymore.

His frustration grew even more when he saw you wandering over to the middle of the room where sweaty bodies were grinding on each other. Your flimsy black silky dress was not doing him justice either, seeing how tight it was on your figure. It showed off your curves well; he hated how good you looked. There was a big opening in the back that stopped near your hips. Should be a crime to look that good, he thought to himself while trying to keep his eyes on you.

Your hips swayed to the music blasting throughout the house. You opened your eyes, landing on Jungkook immediately. His eyes devouring you as he took a sip of his beer, eyes locked on your hips. You tried not to look at him again but still wondered what was going in that mind of his. You raised your hands up in the air, dress threatening to rise up.

Your curiosity got the best of you. Squinting one eye open to take a peek of Jungkook but you failed to locate him.

A gasp left your mouth as someone pressed their front on your back, rubbing their crotch on your ass. A whiff of the sweet scented Victoria Secret perfume gave the identity away. You tilted your head so that it laid on his chest. Confirming your thought, Jungkook stared down at you with dark eyes. His arm muffled around your waist to press you further into his chest. He felt his body go ease when he saw your lips bunch up into a smile. Your hips rocked from side to side on him. Jungkook held his hand on your waist, encouraging you to continue. You willingly do so arms flinging on his neck as you dragged yourself down his chest. His growing bulge poked your ass as you grind yourself on him. Your head laid back on him. Jungkook leaned down to meet your lips. His mouth entwined with yours, lip gloss rubbing off onto his mouth. You moaned into his mouth and sensed that his hand was harshly holding one of your ass cheeks.

"You wanna go upstairs?" He was somewhat taken back at your suggestion but agreed nonetheless. With his fingers keeping a firm grip on yours, the two of you went upstairs.

He guided you towards the room, which all winded up preoccupied due to freshman trying to lose their virginities. You cringed when you come face to face with someone's bare ass pushing against the lanky girl. Jungkook pushed you into the bathroom, telling a man to fuck off when he tried getting in.

"Hey," you glanced up from the floor onto Jungkook's eyes. He offered you a small awkward smile, warming your heart as if he wasn't rubbing his dick on your ass a few minutes ago.

"Hi," your voice sounded very small and Jungkook wanted to reach out and reassure you that he only came up to you to apologize, not to have you grind on him in the middle of the room. "I'm sorry," you began, eyes fixed to the ground. "Everything I said on that day was really fucked up. I care about your feelings. I care about you and I was giving you mixed signals and it's not okay."

"I'll be fine," his hand held your arm, rubbing it slightly. "It's okay if you don't return my feelings, I'll get over it—"

"But that's the thing I don't want you to get over it."

Jungkook blinked once, twice, and then another third time. Trying to comprehend your words while also trying to figure out what he was going to say was hard.

Your glossy lips moved. "I'm really willing to give you a chance and I'm so sorry for being such a cunt about it. I just—I needed some realization to understand my feelings. Truth is I've had a crush on you, but every time I saw you with these girls I always told myself I'm not good enough for you and that I'll never be. I’m also mad at the fact that you’re barely realizing your feelings towards me just now.”

He doesn't say anything which doesn't help your anxious state at the moment. Your gut scolded you, reminding you that you probably lost your chance and now you look like an idiot to him right now, confessing your feelings.

Jungkook sighed before embracing you. You stand still in shock from his sudden movements but chose to hug him back. His chin dropped down onto your head. "You're good enough for me, Y/N. You always have been and I'm sorry that it took me all these years for me to realize that."

"I couldn't stop thinking of you and all the shit I said. I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart," you admitted.

His bulge pushed against you and your cheeks flushed warm. Jungkook didn't say anything but bent down to kiss you. His lips moved roughly against yours. Your fingers coming up towards his hair to run through them. His hands digging harshly into your ass, possibly leaving small bruises behind but you're unbothered by it.

You pulled away, enough to stare up at his eyes. "I seriously couldn't stop thinking about you. I fucking masturbated to you, just by thinking of the bus shit," you confessed, watching his face lit up in surprise.

"Yeah? What was going on in that head of yours?" he encouraged you. You giggled at him, his thigh coming between your thighs.

"Your fingers in my pussy," your cheeks burned pink as he coaxed you to go on. "Your big dick pounding in me."

The look on his face is priceless but it just stayed there for a mere second as Jungkook recollected himself. He couldn't believe what was coming out of your mouth, never in a million years would he ever imagine you of all people saying this. The warmth travelled towards his crotch as he hardened at your words. His friend of seven years, his crush for almost two years was here in front of him, revealing that she touched herself to the thought of him. A blissful comfort spread all over his body.

"Don't you want that to happen?" he didn't even realize how close you were, he was too caught up in his thoughts. "You don't want to fuck my brains out?"

Your thighs closed around his thick ones. You reached up to kiss his neck, pecking his soft skin. Jungkook grunted as you left open mouth kisses behind, gripping his hand and directing it near your hips.

"I can't do it here," Jungkook whispered to you once he grasped the circumstances. In a fraternity bathroom with people out there that can possibly hear you two? Jungkook would never allow himself to touch you here the first time you two have sex. You whined against him, rubbing your crotch on his thigh. "Shit, seriously Y/N? You're making this hard for me."

"What your dick? Why? I don't care where we do it. I just—I need it to happen—come on Jungkook fuck me," if your mind wasn't clouded by lust you would been very disappointed at yourself for what you were saying, but you could care less. He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. He was fighting with himself.

The only sound in the bathroom was the loud heavy bass music playing and the two of you heavily breathing. "Do you want me to go find another guy out there that can do the job for you or what?" you tried riling him up and it worked cause Jungkook was staring at you with dark hooded eyes. "Cause' I could walk out there and take any guy home with me do you want that?" you both know deep down you wouldn’t be able to do that. You’re too shy.

Jungkook came across as if something possessed him suddenly. His hair falling over his eyes slightly. His tongue came out of his mouth to moisten his lips. "Get on your fucking knees," Jungkook snapped, a hand going back to get tangled in your hair. You dropped down to the ground. "I wanna see your pretty tits," you pulled down the straps of your dress and got rid of your strapless bra, throwing it aside. "Well aren't you a desperate cock sucking whore?" you whined at him with your dress bunched up around your waist. "What don't tell me you like being called that?" he chuckled. Your cheeks flushed in humiliation.

You reached over to unzip his jeans. He merely let out a chuckle, extremely satisfied with your avidity. As you rolled down his boxers, his hand wrapped around your hair. "Look up at me, whore," your eyes jerked up to him. "Open your mouth," you gulped at the size, wondering if it was even going to fit in your poor mouth. He teased, rubbing the head of his cock on your lips when you did. Your jaw ached as you tried opening as wide as you can to please him. You looked up at him as he slid his cock in your mouth. He groaned, loving the warmth and wetness of your mouth surrounding him. He maintained the eye contact between you two whilst he carried on shoving his dick in your throat. You moaned and moved back once it hit your throat. But before you can, he gripped the back of your hair firmly and thrusted his hips forward. You gagged around him, tears brewing and ready to burst out. You extended your hands out to his thighs. He held your head in place, his cock shoving down your throat at an animalistic speed. "What a good little slut," he eventually praised you. "Letting me fuck her throat hard and shit," you shut your eyes.

You regret doing so. Feeling a tug to your hair, your eyes snap open and look up. "You get praised like a good bitch once and you think you can be a bad girl? I don't think so, whore," he stared straight into your eyes with his dark orbs devouring you. Your drool slithering down your chin. You peer up at him with desperation written all over your face. Your fingers glided down to your dress. You kept your gaze on him when your fingers entered your pussy, feeling how wet you are. "Are you seriously touching yourself?" he sounded thrilled at the idea. Jungkook stopped moving for a second, allowing you to suck on the head of his cock. He watched mascara run down your cheeks, feeling some sort of ego boost that he was making you look this way.

You nodded frantically, moving your fingers faster. You sucked him harder, your jaw throbbing as you attempted to deep throat him. He forced your head deeper so that your nose was touching his pubic hair. "I didn't give you permission, disobedient slut. You got three seconds to finish," he finished with a sullen laugh, knowing you weren't. "One, two–" Jungkook watched your eyes become watery as you hopelessly tried to get yourself to cum in just three seconds. "—three, take your fingers out whore."

You obeyed and showed him your fingers, glittering under the bathroom light, even though on the inside you were begging to be touched again. You thought of going against him. Jungkook let a cackle escape from his mouth. "Fuck, you're so fucking wet I bet you're fucking leaking out onto the floor."

You mewled, bobbing your head up and down. Releasing his cock out of your mouth with a lewd pop, you batted your eyelashes up at him. "I'm so fucking wet for you," he flashed you a quick grin, obviously content with your answer. He brought your fingers up to his mouth, sucking them off while maintaining eye contact with you. His tongue swirled around your finger as you repeat the same motion on his cock. He released your finger.

"You can use your hands," you pull away right after he said that. You pumped him rapidly, your hand moving back and forth. Your ears took in his grunts, feeling some pride for causing him to make those noises. He almost came when he felt your warm, wet mouth around one of his balls.

"I want you to cum on my tits." he agreed, staring down at you. Tension builds within his stomach as he groaned out loud. You gaped at him when his cum shoots towards your neck, aiming towards your breasts.

Jungkook's breathing became heavier as he came back down from his blissful state that he was in. He grew hard in a instant when he saw how fucked you looked. Your mascara running down your eyes, leaving a trail of black ink behind. Your hair was tangled together into a mess due to him gripping it so tightly. With saliva dripping down your red swollen smeared lips, his eyes drifted further down. The straps of the dress you were wearing were rolled out into your stomach, exhibiting your perky breasts that are smeared with his cum.

"You look like a fucked whore," he smiled at you with satisfaction resting in his mind.

You giggled at him, tucking your hair behind your ear. "Yeah, not just for you," you gazed up at him, a small smile on your lips.

He helped you get off the floor. His facial expression is now serious, indicating that he wasn't happy with your answer. Jungkook's fingers tapped the cold surface of the sink, indicating to sit down on it. You do so, opening your legs slowly.

He watched, eyes strictly locked in between your legs. "Who are you so wet for?" he asked.

You snorted and shrugged which only grew him more frustrated.

Jungkook growled and flipped you over. He bended you over the bathroom sink and bore his eyes into you by the mirror. "You wanna keep acting like a slut, you're might as well be fucked like one," you silently squealed in excitement. Jungkook lifted your dress up in one go. He pulled your underwear down, making you step out of them. "Put your leg on the counter," he commanded and you do as you're told. Lifting your right leg on the counter while the other one remained on the ground. You heard him frantically pull down his jeans. You gasped when you feel the tip on your entrance. He reached over for the condom on the counter.

"No!" you exclaimed. Jungkook stopped and looked down at your worriedly, wondering if you wanted to stop now. You gulped, feeling your cheeks burned in embarrassment. "Don't use one please." you whined. "I want to feel you raw."

You heard Jungkook chuckle from behind you. He felt like he was on cloud nine, he was fucking thriving. "Yeah? My fucking slut wants me to do her raw?" he started pushing himself. You held your breath as your walls allowed him to enter, tightening around his big shaft. His cock rimmed inside of you

"Y-yeah," you manage to choke out, staring at him through the mirror. He maintained eye contact to where your bodies connected, watching his cock sink into you as he held your hips in place.

"Has any other guy fucked you raw, slut?" Jungkook brought his hand around your throat. You sensed that you could orgasm right there. You shook your head as he finally is inside of you fully. "What was that? Use your words, come on you're a big girl," he gripped your inner right thigh with so much strength, he could break it off if he tried. I mean those biceps.

"N-no only you. Just for you," he grinned at that.

"Good," you let out a loud moan when he started finally moving. His hips rutted into yours at an animalistic speed. He stared at you through the mirror, watching how your mouth opens and your breasts jiggle. He pressed your throat a little harder. "Bet no guy ever made you feel this way."

"Only you, Jungkook! Only you!" you manage to breath out. Your knuckles are almost white by how hard you're holding onto the counter. He lowers himself so his face is near your ear.

"Yeah? Look at you, telling me how I'll never have you yet you're over here drooling over my dick. Fucking whore." you whined harder as he breathed down your neck. You feel yourself began getting more wetter at his words. "Imagine what your family and friends will say when they find out you're letting me fuck you in the ass in a dirty bathroom at a frat party."

You shut your eyes, your pussy swallowing him back in. His hand squeezed your throat a little tighter. "Fucking slut," he snapped his hips at you. You moaned out loud, shamelessly. "On the dance floor dancing like one."

"Because I am one," he chuckled at that, fingers coming up to pinch your nipple.

"Yeah? Who do you belong to? Whose slut are you?" the grip on your throat tightened, not enough to block your airway however. Jungkook kept his eye on you through the mirror, your lips molding into an oval shape. His palm came down to meet one of your asscheeks. You jumped forward, Jungkook pulling you back onto his cock. He stopped moving to lock eyes with you through the mirror, his lips hovering over your ear. "When I ask you a question, I expect a fucking answer," you tried to move your hips a bit but he caught you before you can. "Now," his voice deepened. "Whose slut are you?"

"Your slut! I'm your slut! Jungkook, please—"

"Yeah? Scream when I fuck you so that everyone knows who your pussy belongs to," his hips rammed into you again. You swore you can feel him fucking into your cervix. You let a loud moan break free from your mouth, his hot breath fanned your ear.

A roaring pounding on the door snapped his head away. You whimpered and become aware that his pace was reducing as his attention was now on the other man trying to get in. Jungkook yelled out words that sounded fuzzy to your ears considering all you could hear is your heartbeat.

"No, no, Jungkook don't stop," you pleaded with him, twisting yourself to look at his lust filled eyes. "I'm almost there please!"

You almost screamed at him when he pulled out. He sat on the toilet lid, tapping his thighs that were spread out in front of him. "Ride me," he demanded. You're somehow quick on your wobbly legs, getting on top of him. You grasped his swollen red cock, lining it up with your entrance before sinking down.

Jungkook's hand went towards your hip to support you while the other one went further down to touch your swollen clit. His mouth came near your ear as you cried out his name. "If you don't come in the next minute, you're not cumming tonight, got it slut?" you panted but nonetheless nodded frantically.

And with that Jungkook sat back, watching you fuck yourself on his cock, you were basically using him as a toy and Jungkook loved that. The desperation look on your face was amusing and Jungkook stored in in his memories.

"Oh shit! Fuck I'm almost there," his palm travelled further down to rub your ass.

"Time's almost up," he wasn't actually keeping track but your determination to cum on such a short amount of time was adorable to him. Your thighs smacked his, bouncing on his cock faster. Jungkook's finger carried on rubbing against your clit, his eyes trailing down from your face to your bouncing breasts.

Your eyes rolled back as you heaved up. Your mouth opened wide, feeling your orgasm wash over you. Jungkook heard his name leave your mouth, panting. He almost came when he felt something warm soak into his jeans. Looking down, he became aware of what just happened.

"Fucking dirty slut," he hissed and allowed you to relax your head on his shoulder as your whole weight sunk down on him. His ears took in your sniffles. "Look what you did, squirted all over me slut."

Your cheeks burned in humiliation, nuzzling your nose into his shoulder.

You gasped when he lifted his hips up to meet yours. You cried out to him to stop but Jungkook's quick to silence you with his fingers stuffed in your mouth. Your tears threatened to spill. "You're so tight, fuck! Need to fuck you more, whore,"

It doesn't take long for him to sprout into you, judging the way you tightened around him and how fucked your face look when he looked down to meet your eyes. With his cum coating your walls, he slid out of you. A bit of cum came out and dropped down to his black pants leaving a white stain behind.

You attempted to stand out on your own but failed due to you not being able to feel your legs for a second. Luckily, Jungkook is there to help you. He bent down to help you put on your underwear.

"Are you on birth control?" he asked while zipping up his pants. You checked your face in the mirror, noticing the hickeys all over your neck and the mascara smothered down your cheeks.

You turned to look at him, pulling your dress down."Are you really asking me after we just had sex? Where's my bra by the way?" your face is met with your bra when he flung it at you.

He laughed, watching you put it on. "Yeah, seriously though are you?"

"Why? If I'm going to be your sugar mama I might as well be your baby mama." Jungkook looked stricken and you snickered, bringing your hand up to hide your mouth. "I'm joking," you wiped your face with some wet wipes you found in the drawers.

"Not funny, was ready to fucking make a run for it."

It was your turn to look stricken as Jungkook laughed. You frowned and slapped his chest.

It goes quiet, the loud bass music now coming back to fill your ears instead of Jungkook's moans. He stood awkwardly near the corner while you threw away the wipes you used to remove your makeup. Running your fingers through your hair, you turned towards him.

"So, does this mean that you're going to give me a chance?" the man in front of you standing like an anime character asked, as if he wasn't calling you degrading names a few minutes ago.

You smiled at him and lunged forward to kiss him. "Yes, I'll give you a chance Jungkook."

↳ in your heart; drabble collection

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #fratboy jungkook #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff

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that-was-anticlimactic · 3 years

Note

22 with Zukka for the prompt list? Also hi :)

"Give me a brush. I'll fix your hair for you." + zukka

Zuko was angry.

He supposed that wasn’t that shocking—he was angry a lot—but the amount of genuine anger and frustration he was accumulating due to his hair, now that wasn’t fair nor normal.

It was stupid—he had to attend some dumb public event since he was the Fire Lord and stand at the side applauding politely, then say a few words. Really, he’d been through more stressful times in his life than that.

Even still, there was an hour left before he had to arrive, and he was getting ready in his chambers. Or, he was supposed to be getting ready. He was still in his sleeping robes, aggressively pulling a brush through his hair

Honestly, at this point, he was just beating his scalp.

No matter how carefully or slowly he ran the brush through his hair, it was still tangled. It still looked greasy, and even when he said “screw it” and just threw his hair in a top knot, he nearly chopped it all off because it looked terrible. The bumps at the top of his head were so large it looked like he hadn’t even brushed his hair in the first place!

Logically, he knew that his dad was far far far away right now and would in no way, shape, or form be attending the same event or see said event, but he couldn’t block out Ozai’s voice in his head telling him how big of a disappointment he was due to the state of his hair.

Zuko grunted, throwing the brush across the room and leveling the cursed object with a furious pout. It’s what the brush deserved.

“Hey, Zuko! I can’t decide whether I should wear my cobalt robes or my lapis robes. I know you don’t think there’s a difference, but I swear to you—are you okay?”

The angelic sound of Sokka’s voice caused Zuko’s face to shift from fury to a soft smile. He turned around, his fingers twitching when the brush left his sight because it needed to know how angry he was, and shot Sokka what he hoped was a soft look.

His boyfriend was also wearing his evening robes, something far too casual for the event they were attending, and it took everything in him to focus his gaze on Sokka’s face rather than his shoulder where the fabric was slowly slipping off.

In his hands were two tunics which absolutely looked the exact same color-wise, but he just chalked that up to Sokka being picky about his wardrobe (no, he wouldn’t acknowledge that he was unsure whether it was that or the fact that he couldn’t see properly out of his left eye).

Sokka’s hair looked impeccable, tied tightly in a wolf tail, much unlike his own.

“Sunshine?”

Oh, he’d been staring, hadn’t he?

“Sorry,” he mumbled, running a hand over his face and collapsing onto his bed. “I’m just trying to get ready.”

He watched as Sokka’s eyes flickered between Zuko’s tapping foot, his hair, and the brush on the floor behind him.

His face morphed into understanding and he carefully draped his clothes over the back of Zuko’s vacant chair, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Give me a brush. I’ll fix your hair for you,” he said gently, nudging Zuko’s foot with his own.

“Get it yourself, Lazy,” Zuko muttered, but either way he shifted his position so he could roll onto the other side of the bed and reached, swiping the brush off the floor and tossing the cursed object at his boyfriend.

Sokka poked at him with his finger (and Zuko tried not to melt at the way Sokka tapped in patterns of three—it was the nonbender’s favorite type of pattern, he did everything in three’s. It became Zuko’s favorite number as their relationship developed and became not only a form of comfort for Sokka when he had his bad days, but also for him) until he got the signal and turned so his back was to Sokka.

“Your hair is very pretty,” Sokka remarked, gently grabbing a small chunk of his hair and starting at the edges.

“It’s greasy.”

“No, it’s really not. You know I don’t like touching greasy hair. I wouldn’t touch it if it was greasy.”

They both knew that was a lie—Zuko’s hair was an exception.

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Sokka asked, twisting the edges of the now brushed section of Zuko’s hair while separating it into a second section.

“My hair.”

“I got that.”

“It’s not… it’s not perfect…”

And that was it, wasn’t it? The event wasn’t that big of a deal—in fact, it was so insignificant to him that he wasn’t quite sure what exactly it was, but when his hair wouldn’t work the way he wanted, he started getting stiff and on edge.

If his dad saw him like this… Zuko couldn’t help but shudder at the mere thought.

“Babe, Sunshine, light of my life,” Sokka began and oh how Zuko practically melted, “you don’t need to be perfect.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Zuko shot back. “But I do have to be perfect. Everyone’s watching me—I’m the Fire Lord! If I don’t look perfect then…” he trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut and attempting to focus solely on the feeling of Sokka’s fingers in his hair.

“Oh, I get it,” Sokka said softly. “This isn’t about your hair, is it, baby?”

Zuko just sniffed.

“I know I’m not the best person to talk to about being okay with things being imperfect, but something I’ve begun to learn over the years is that there’s never a time when everything’s perfect, no matter how hard you plan… or brush…”

Zuko chuckled.

“But something that you can always count on is me being there; you know I’ll always be there, right? Because I will be,” he continued. At this point, Zuko was certain Sokka had set the brush down and was just using his fingers, which was somehow more comforting despite the slightly uncouth method.

“Besides, you’re already perfect to me. You don’t need to try and please everyone else anymore. Quite frankly, they’re all idiots.”

Zuko laughed. It was quiet and more half-hearted than anything, but it was a laugh all the same. He could feel water beginning to pool in his eyes, and Zuko let out a choking gasp. “Sorry.”

“Shush, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I just… I saw my hair and it wouldn’t—it wasn’t right and I didn’t know what would—“

“Shhh.” Sokka coaxed him into silence, purposefully taking deep breaths along the way to remind him to breathe (which was really helpful since he had forgotten).

“It’s just me. No one else is here—he’s not here. It’s just you and it’s me. And I, personally, think you have the prettiest hair in the entire world, even when it’s greasy.”

Oh, what did Zuko do to deserve someone like Sokka in his life?

Sokka stopped running his fingers through his hair, and Zuko felt the bed shift as Sokka adjusted his position. The nonbender flung his arms around Zuko’s neck, holding him close.

“You’re going to have the best public appearance in the history of pubic appearances today,” Sokka informed him, and Zuko hummed, allowing himself to fall back into Sokka’s embrace. “And if anyone complains about your hair, they may have a run in with my boomerang.”

“Thank you.”

Zuko opened his eyes, allowing his face to fall into its natural frown, but prayed to Agni that Sokka could see the appreciation and adoration in his eyes.

He slowly rose, pushing himself off of his bed and turning so he could see his reflection in the mirror.

His hair it… it wasn’t bad. But it still made his muscles clench and his breath hitch. There were some strands tumbling out of his top knot, falling out of rhythm with the rest of his demeanor.

It was so insignificant, but that’s what Zuko thought when he was younger.

(There was nothing insignificant when it came to Ozai.)

He felt more than saw Sokka stand beside him, and together they gazed in the mirror.

Despite knowing he was being self-conscious, Zuko found himself biting his lip in anticipation as Sokka looked at him. He knew Sokka didn’t think he was disfigured or that his hair was an awful mess, but that wasn’t enough prevent his heart from racing and his fists at the ready to raise to block his—

“You’re beautiful,” Sokka breathed, his eyes so wide that Zuko thought they could contain the depths of the entire ocean, encompass the entirety of the night sky. What made his face flush was that the stars in Sokka’s eyes were directed on him—focused solely and only on him.

“Oh.”

It pained him that that was all he could say. Sokka could compliment him like it was nothing, but Zuko couldn’t do any more than reply with one word.

Sokka frowned and no, that wouldn’t do. Zuko didn’t like when he frowned—more so, he hated being the reason his boyfriend’s smile vanished.

“Are you still…” He cut himself off, his neck jerking and lips pursing, then he waved his hands around for emphasis, as a way to finish the sentence.

Shamefully, Zuko nodded.

Without warning, Sokka grabbed hold of Zuko’s hands and placed them on the top of his head. He intertwined their fingers, almost as if they were holding hands, then started moving them.

For a moment, Zuko held his breath because what was this idiot doing? His hair was the definition of perfection—no strands were loose, he looked regal, the blue and red beads in his hair were perfectly placed… and here Sokka was, guiding Zuko’s hands around his head and messing it up.

Zuko tried to pull away—tried to free his hands from Sokka’s grasp because they couldn’t do this—they couldn’t mess up is hair! The Fire Nation was already terribly critical towards Sokka, being Water Tribe and all, not to mention being the Fire Lord’s boyfriend meant more publicity than either of them were comfortable with… the public would tear Sokka apart if he walked out with messy hair.

“What are you doing?” Zuko hissed through grit teeth, still trying to yank his hands away to no avail. “You’re messing up your hair—I’m messing up your hair!”

Sokka ignored him, but Zuko couldn’t find it in himself to glower at his idiot because his tongue was sticking out of his mouth the way it did when he was concentrating and it was so authentically Sokka and so adorable and—

“There,” Sokka said, interrupting his thoughts. “Now we match!”

It was then that Zuko realized his hands had been released, and he clutched them close to his chest defensively.

Sokka was cheekily grinning at him, his eyes shining, and his hair… oh. His hair was a travesty. His wolf tail became undone and half of it was falling out. The top of his head looked like someone build hundreds of tiny bridges with the way his hair had been tugged at.

As terrible as it was, Zuko was basking in the absolute adorableness of his boyfriend.

“It may not be perfect,” Sokka started, locking hands with Zuko once more, “but we’re doing it together. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Penguin.”

Sokka leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Okay, then: should I wear the cobalt or lapis tunic? I feel like lapis is a more luscious color, but cobalt brings out my eyes…”

Most of what Sokka was saying made absolute no sense to him, but Zuko knew Sokka so he knew that his feeling weren’t being brushed aside. Sokka was just trying to distract him—to make him laugh.

So, Zuko sat back down and listened to Sokka ramble about the pros and cons of each color, even though they had to be at the event in half an hour.

Sokka was right (he always was)—it was never about his hair (maybe it was a little about his hair, whenever Ozai was involved, it was about everything). He spent the majority of his life trying to live up to the standards of everyone else—his hair had to be perfect, his back had to be perfectly straight…

The Fire Nation thrived on the idea of perfection. So much so that Zuko knew if Sokka had been born and raised here, he would have been isolated or forced into muteness due to his imperfections, or his tics. It was a terrible thought that was proved true by the looks he saw shot his boyfriend’s way by some elders—from the way that some people would address Zuko rather than Sokka when they were together or ask Zuko why he hadn’t fixed Sokka or what places he took Sokka to to do so.

But they weren’t imperfections, Sokka’s tics. Zuko reminded him countless times that they were just a part of who he was, something that made him as special as he was. And he supposed that’s what Sokka was trying to show him… though through his unorthodox and irritatingly charming methods.

Zuko never did fix his hair for the evening—he wanted to continue matching with Sokka.

[this can be seen as a mini prequel to threshold of eternity hence why zuko gives azula the advice about how to 'handle' her hair and toe kind of inspired this one hehe]

'101 ways to say i love you' prompts

#saaabriel #corey writes:)#... i got excited oops #this got kinda long iugyfuhi #i counted—it’s 2.1k words lol #i just... i love them #why yes... sokka has ts in this and zuko is autistic in this wHAT #sokka with tourette’s #hehe #i am so sorry with how carried away this got lol #i got so invested and then suddenly it was this long oops #thank you for indulging me! the others will come soon !!!#we don't need to talk about the fact that i literally cannot choose what terms of endearment to use and always switch WHAT #oof poor Zuko he’s just trying to live:/#I really chose zuko violence huh #like it didn’t start that bad but then i kept trying to sneak as much angst in as i could #tw child abuse #also feel free to ignore the reference to toe (… i hate that the fic acronym is toe’) because it’s what inspired the direction i took and #uhh it's 1am and i need to pack so imma que this oops #ngl still kinda proud of that one lol #corey rambles:)

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willowbleedsonpaper · 3 years

Text

Winter In The Shade XIV

Part XIV

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 2866

Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: None (Let me know if there's any, though)

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You were distracted. Regulus had noticed that much. Two weeks had passed by since his game against Gryffindor and he had taken to himself to watch you closely. At first he was worried, now he was curious. He could feel you were distant, sometimes he would find your eyes lost in the crowd of students or a smile growing on your lips at something only you could figure out from all the voices. You spent more time out after dinner, Regulus finding you walking back to your common room late at night when you had supposedly already gone there. He didn’t question you but he wanted to know who this person was who had captured your attention.

Unfortunately, he was certain it had to be a Gryffindor. The presence of the house is always there whenever he notices these changes in your behaviour. He had so many questions and no reason to ask you about it. But he knew he could dig a little with the right words.

“...and I need this one and that one.” you said, walking through the shelves of the library with Regulus following you “Can you reach the red one for me?” you asked him, his arm easily going over your head and taking the book you pointed “Thank you.” you told him, adding the book to the pile in your arms.

Regulus just observed you, noticing a sweet smell coming from you. Your favorite perfume. You looked the same as always, Ravenclaw uniform neatly worn with a few details of your own design, leather bag hanging from your left shoulder as your body inevitably leaned towards that side due to the weight of all you carried. Your face, your hair, your voice it was all the same but it was all in the details. The perfume, the skip on your step, your more cheerful mood.

“You seem happier.” he said, earning a chuckle from you as you returned the book in your hand to the shelf.

“Thank you?” you answered doubtfully. There, no retort to fight him, no sarcastic comment to notice his own gloomy or serious mood.

“I mean it.” he told you, trying to look casual about it. He didn’t have it in him but he had to try, he’s used to being direct but going around things was not his thing. “What’s gotten you in such a happy mood lately?”

You made a face at him, leading him towards your table at the library. He took the seat right across from you, facing the entrance of the library as he had always liked to observe the people going in and out of the room. You moved your own chair out and took a seat, dropping the pile of books on the tables’ surface.

“Would you believe it's because of you?” you asked with a smile, taking your things out of your bag and placing one by one on the table.

Regulus shook his head, following your movements as he did the same “The fact that you asked me if I would believe you tells me it’s not because of me.” he stated, resting his back against the chair as he watched you. “And there is a reason because you are making up excuses.”

You frowned, hitting the table a little too hard with the spine of your book “I hate that you’re so clever sometimes.” you muttered bitterly, unknown to Regulus that you were starting to panic. Your leg a jumping mess under the table.

“Why won’t you tell me?” he asked. Going around things wasn’t working for him, it actually never worked for anyone but he knew that and trying it anyway got on his nerves a little too much. He needed answers.

“Because there is nothing to tell.” you said, voice high as you avoided his gaze. You were lying.

“Look at me.” he said.

You closed your eyes shut, letting out a single breath as you pressed your lips in a line. Finally you lifted your face, meeting his eyes. He had a relaxed posture, as relaxed as Regulus could get, but he still tilted his head. Oh, he knew what he was doing. He looked approachable and kind, more than usual in your eyes.

“You’re seeing someone.”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest, the drop of your stomach as you felt like someone had punched you on the gut enough to make all the happiness he was asking you about wash out of your face.

He wasn’t asking. It wasn’t a question. He was telling you because he knew.

Your thoughts started to go over everything you had done, everything you had said, how you acted, anything that could have given it away to him. Everything and nothing came to mind as you just stared at him, your body completely still.

Then it dawned on you that you weren’t seeing anyone. Not really. You and Sirius were friends who liked to spend time together. Behind your best friend and Sirius brother’s back. You thought bitterly, guilt starting to rise inside you. We’re just friends. Then why did your mind go immediately to Sirius at the question of you seeing anyone?

“What?” you asked in a whisper, taking a shaky breath after as the fear of your secret being discovered became more real.

He looked for your eyes, a small smile on his face “I know you’re seeing someone.”

“You know?” you repeated.

“Yes.”

But did he knew?

“And you’re not upset?” you asked, taking careful steps in the conversation.

“I don’t know why you felt like you couldn’t tell me.” he said “I’m more upset over the fact that they’re a Gryffindor, but I guess I’ll get…”

“You know!” you yelled. The shushing sounds from the students around you made you shrink in your place as you muttered a quiet apology, the flush in your cheeks nothing as you turned with wide eyes at Regulus, mouthing the words You Know.

“I had my suspicions.” he said, looking around before he settled back on you “You stare at the people of their house a lot and I still have to figure out who they are…”

His words were muffled by the relief washing over you. He didn’t know.

*******

Sirius had looked for you a couple of days after the Quidditch game. He had managed a couple of minutes away from all the eyes at Hogwarts to ask you to meet him later that day. Of course you had agreed.

You moved through the castle with light steps. It was late but not enough to get you in trouble, just to get a warning look from the professors. Sirius had asked you to meet him inside the castle but you couldn’t risk another surprise visit from Regulus, his extra classes had gotten all over his schedule and you no longer knew when he would be out and what days he wouldn’t. So you asked Sirius to meet you at the castle entrance. Doubtful, he had accepted.

So that’s where you were headed, playing with your fingers as you moved. The corridors were empty and the day getting colder, a chill running down your spine as more nerves got to you. Somehow, although you wanted this, you were also dreading it.

The doors were wide open, your figure a dot in the distance of what the entire castle represented. You glanced at either side of the door before you decided Sirius wasn’t there yet. You rested your weight on the wall outside the castle, closing your eyes as the air blew on your face. You found the feeling relaxing and refreshing, almost taking your worries with it.

Then something changed in the air, a different smell caught in the air as you started to feel different. Not alone. Your eyes fluttered open to see Sirius standing right beside you, a different look on his face as he watched you.

“You looked peaceful.” he said, offering his hand for you to take.

You glanced hesitantly at him, grabbing his hand “You look different.”

“And we’ve never looked better.” he said, his usual grin back on his lips as he gave a soft squeeze to your hand “Lead the way, since a castle is not enough for the lady.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you pulled him with you, missing his triumphant smile at teasing you.

You walked for a couple of minutes, going down the stairs to the black lake in silence. Once you got over the hills and past the shore of the black lake Sirius started asking questions but you didn’t give in, ignoring his every word until you got closer to your destiny, your secret space.

“Would you relax?” you asked him, his mouth never stopping until you talked “We’re almost there.”

“You could have told me where we are going.” he said, looking around you and seeing nothing familiar “You could be leading me to my death.”

“Oh, yes.” you smiled back at him before narrowing your eyes at him “I’m not really a student at Hogwarts. You see, I’m this serial killer who lures her victims by being a sweet girl, this is the place where all my victims have died and you are next.”

Your grasp on his hand got tighter, smiling at him before you focused on the way you were walking. Sirius raised an eyebrow but said nothing, letting you drag him with his arm now stretched to create space between you two.

“I can’t tell if you’re joking.” he said, his voice a little worried “You sound very convincing and your scenario sounds entirely possible now.”

You laughed out loud, throwing your head back lightly. Sirius' fake worry all washed away as a genuine smile replaced everything in his features, thinking that maybe, if you were actually a serial killer, this wouldn’t be such an awful way to die.

“I’m very capable of a lot of things, so you shouldn’t underestimate me.” you said, raising your eyebrows at him before you turn back front “We’re here.” you announced, letting go of his hand as you advanced some steps on your own.

You moved through the grass, grass tall enough to reach your ankles and wildflowers who filled the ground with beautiful dots of color. And to your right an enormous tree, vines hanging from its branches that you moved as if it was a curtain, letting you and Sirius through to a small meadow. The place was comfortable enough to have a picnic with a few friends and still have room to move around, the makeshift walls made of more trees and vines that covered the space to make the shape of what almost resembled a circle.

“Welcome to a small haven just outside Hogwarts.” you said to Sirius, spinning once in your spot as you focused back on his face. He looked amazed, his eyes finding the sky once before he moved to the green grass and small patches of flowers.

“Just outside is putting it lightly.” he whispered, but you could see he didn’t care about the distance or about walking all the way there with you. He softly ran his fingers over the vines that fell like heavy silks once again, covering the spot where you two had walked in. “You found this place?”

You hummed in response, nodding your head “I was trying to escape some friends while we played. It was my first year so I didn’t know the grounds of the school very well. I ran and ran until I could no longer hear them and then I hid here. They never found me.”

He laughed, his smile reaching his eyes as he continued to look around “You probably shouldn’t have shown me this place.” he told you, knowing perfectly that he would use it as a way to avoid professors and detention.

“I didn’t show you anything.” you said, patting a spot in the ground to then sit there with a huff “You followed me here.”

Sirius did the same thing and sat down next to you “You dragged me here.” he stated, giving you a knowing look.

“You offered your hand.” you argued back, throwing some of your hair over your shoulder “You could have let go at any time.” Your confidence didn’t last much as you burst out laughing, shaking your head as you tried to speak, the words coming out of your mouth unintelligible.

It took you a couple of minutes to catch your breath but in the end your chest started to rise and fall evenly, the air calm as you could only hear the breeze moving the tree tops. The silence fell heavily between you two, not in an uncomfortable way but enough to let you know the laughter was over.

You swallowed in anticipation, not knowing how to begin. In the end you didn’t have to, Sirius taking the chance first.

“I’m sure you have many questions and believe me, so do I,” he started, looking at his hands as he spoke “But you have to know whatever he is doing it’s not good.”

“You don’t know that.” you said in a low tone, still a hint of hope in your voice.

He shook his head, turning to look at you with that same desperation he had in his eyes the day you found Regulus. “You’re too good.” he whispered, raising his hand hesitantly to your face, his finger moving a piece of hair behind your ear.

His skin felt warm against yours, the back of his hand grazing your cheek as you moved your face away “I’m not naive.” you exclaimed “I know him. He is my friend, my family, he would never say that.”

“We both heard him, Y/N.” Sirius reminded you, his voice sounding deeper now “How can you explain what we both heard?” he asked, looking at you expectantly.

“I don’t know what I heard.” you said stubbornly, refusing to look at Sirius.

“You do know. I saw you there and you were hurt, we both know what he called you.”

You grunted, pushing yourself to your feet as you stood with your back at him “There must be an explanation.”

Sirius followed you, standing just behind you “For calling someone Pure enough…”

“Dont’!” you hissed, turning to Sirius with a glare in your face.

“I think it’s self explanatory, Y/N.” his voice had raised in volume, the two of you facing one another with glares in your eyes, not moving but holding each others’ eyes.

“Then why is he still my friend?” you asked in a whisper, faces inches away from one another, he heard you just right. “Why is he still by my side, why has nothing changed?”

“Because you’re everything he has left.” he whispered angrily, not being able to hold your gaze any longer as he turned from you. “I was once in your place. Then, he could afford to lose me, so he did. He had the chance to change, to prove everyone wrong but he chose status and the glory of being the only son of the Black family.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked him, confusion growing inside of you as you digested his words.

“Why do you think I left my home?” he asked quietly, “Why do you think my family and your best friend hate me so much? A shame to the Black family.”

A frown was set deep in your face, eyes wild as you started to put all the pieces together inside your head. The perfect son who hates his traitor brother. Traitor. Blood traitor.

Your gaze stilled for a moment, your eyes on the ground as you breathed in deeply. You raised your face slowly, eyes meeting Sirius’ as you stood straight. You opened your mouth but nothing came out, the small gap letting out air as you tried to even your breathing. Your entire face fell, sadness overtaking your eyes as you finally understood.

“You don’t believe in blood purity.” you whispered, voice rough as all the emotion you held inside tried to pour itself on your words. “But he does.”

“Yes.” A simple word, a full sentence. One that changed everything now that the truth was out.

Words got tangled on your tongue, you tried to speak but felt like all it would come out would be your screams.

Your body moved back on its own, rubbing the side of your arm with your hand as every word repeated itself in your head.

“He stayed?” you asked him.

Still that hint of hope. Sirius thought.

“He didn’t ask to come.” he said truthfully.

You nodded your head continuously, not stopping until you covered your face with the palms of your hands, pressing the cold feeling against your skin.

Seconds after you felt a pair of arms around your shoulders, his whispered words on the side of your head filled you with comfort as you moved your hands around his chest.

He held you for a long time, I could have been minutes or hours, it felt like a lifetime. Despite everything you had just learned, there, you felt safe.