#this atom shit is stressing me out

[psychdiarys]

So out of all of Boston's sexual partners

One filmed them having sex without his consent & tried to post it on his porno page for money

One bugged his car & recorded him having sex with another guy

One framed him as a sex offender who took advantage of him when he was drunk & took his nudes

And I'm supposed to think of Boston as a villain? Like he's a VICTIM

#this atom shit is stressing me out #i dont think anyone will trust boston :( #ofts boston #neo trai #ofts ep10 #ofts #only friends #only friends the series

[juyeonszn]

I LOOK BETTER UNDER YOU

PAIRING choi chanhee x f!reader

WORD COUNT 2.62k

GENRES smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, TW: LEWIS STRUCTURES/CHEMISTRY TERMS 🤢🤢🤢, academic rivals to something idk, kev and jichang appearances, chanhee is a cocky little shit, vaginal fingering, edging, exhibitionism lowkey, there’s not p in v action but they are in a public space so…. take with that what u will

SUMMARY aside from excelling at literally everything else, choi chanhee was also really fucking good at getting on your last nerve.

MORE my brain hurts LOL anyway fawntober day???? 7 holy fuck that is actually insane… ANYWAY shout out reese for being my beta as always <3 and also shout out @sungbeam for the idea <3 laurv u bestie!!! pls reblog if u enjoyed :)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri

You felt stupid. Never in your life had you ever struggled to learn a concept, usually understanding on the first go around. This was the case for a majority of your courses. However, for some reason you just couldn’t quite grasp Lewis Structures in your Chemistry class.

Everything else seemed simple enough, your professor explaining them in a way that made them sound easy. They were anything but. You found yourself stressing over whether or not you could fully comprehend the bonds between atoms in time for your midterm. With the way it was going for you, that hope appeared to get less and less realistic.

“Have you thought about going to tutoring?” Your friend, Kevin, asks as you sit across from each other in one of the library’s study rooms, your chemistry textbook opened up to the section on Lewis Structures.

“I mean, no, I haven’t. I just think they’d judge me, considering I have the second highest GPA in our department.” You huff, scribbling down even more notes on the concept, as if you didn’t already have everything you needed to know. God, being a woman in STEM was so hard.

“That’s your problem,” Kevin rolls his eyes, working on his communications homework simultaneously. “Your ego is too damn big. Maybe if you toned it down a notch and set aside your pride, you’d be able to grow the balls to actually ask for help.”

You’re offended, honestly. Because as much as he was right, he was simultaneously very wrong. It wasn’t that you didn’t have the courage to ask for assistance. It was the fact that your biggest rival was the person in charge of the science department’s tutoring lab. He had the highest GPA in your year and you couldn’t stand the thought of losing to him. Let alone showing your weak side.

Aside from excelling at literally everything else, Choi Chanhee was also really fucking good at getting on your last nerve. You were thankful that he wasn’t in your Chemistry lecture, lest he made fun of you for all the questions you asked pertaining to your struggles. He had a knack for crawling under your skin like a goddamn parasite, doing everything in his power to make sure you never felt a moment of peace as long as he was around.

You hated him. You hated him so much for all of the unnecessary competition and constant need to one-up you in every mutual category possible. You hated his overall overachievement to be better than you, to be above you at all costs. You hated his dumb pretty face.

So how could you turn to tutoring after all of that? It just wasn’t feasible. Kevin wouldn’t get it. He didn’t have an arch nemesis holding him back from success.

“That’s not it at all, Kev. But it’s whatever, I’ll figure this shit out myself.”

You could not figure that shit out by yourself. Midterms were a week and a half away, and you were still ripping your hair out over which structures were more dominant and other things of that nature. This was absolutely humiliating. Perhaps growing up as a gifted kid was the worst thing that could’ve happened to you.

With a frown permanently etched on your face, you glance over at your tablemate’s notes. He had messily scrawled examples of those damn Lewis Structures covering the sheet, eyes flickering back and forth between his notebook and the projector at the front of the lecture hall. Oh how badly you wished to be in his shoes, to decipher everything and anything to do with the dot structures presented to you.

Ji Changmin was by no means a genius. His intelligence levels were above average, but that was still below you. How could he understand this better than you? It made no sense. Then again, he was close friends with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. That had to be the reason why. His friend was practically the Einstein reincarnate.

This meant that you couldn’t even express your difficulties with him either. Chanhee no doubtedly knew that you sat beside his friend. If you asked for his help, it would obviously circle back to him and you’d never hear the end of it. You’d never unhear the taunting voice of Choi Chanhee teasing you for asking Ji Changmin for assistance with fucking Lewis Structures. There really was no winning here.

As the lecture draws to a close and your professor reminds you to study for the fast approaching midterm, Changmin clears his throat beside you with a raised eyebrow. You look at him with thinly concealed surprise. So much for being subtle.

“I saw you looking at my notes,” he snorts. “You know, if you’re having a hard time with this chapter, you should just go to the tutoring lab. I’m assuming you haven’t because Chanhee hasn’t gloated about it yet. But if you were curious, he won’t be there today. He has to go to some meeting for the newspaper. You know that guy’s got like ten different clubs he’s a part of.”

You’re not sure why Ji Changmin would be on your side with this. In fact, it kind of makes you skeptical. You didn’t know how credible he was, so why would you trust this information? For all you knew, he could’ve been attempting to lure you right into a trap. However, despite the bit of laughter he exhibited, he didn’t appear to be lying. You were usually a pretty good judge of character.

That’s how you found yourself showing up to the tutoring lab later that evening.

It was located inside of the STEM building on the fourth floor, along with some of the offices belonging to several professors. You chose to go later at night with the knowledge that most students would be gone by that time. The lab was available for use until 9 PM on weekdays, and it was currently 8 PM.

Your grip on the strap of your bag tightens as you push open the see-through glass door of the lab, grateful for the evident emptiness. Though it also worries you, because there were no tutors around either. Maybe the slowness of a Thursday evening encouraged them to head home early. You decide to wait a few minutes anyway, just in case someone shows up.

That was, unfortunately, a very big mistake. As you’re pulling out your notes and textbook, you hear the low creak of the door opening. You think you might keel over and die when you’re suddenly face to face with The Choi Chanhee.

His lips curl up almost menacingly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.”

“Shut the fuck up,” your teeth grit together. “Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting or something? Why are you here?”

“Ended early,” he shrugs. “The tutors have a habit of leaving prematurely when I’m not around, so I wanted to see if there was anyone here. Guess it’s my lucky day, huh?”

This dude was a walking headache for real. You were seriously going to walk out of the lab with a migraine if he kept talking like he was so fucking smart. He was, but he didn’t need to know that you thought that. His own ego was large enough without you inflating it even more.

“I’m going home.” You state simply, mouth drawn in a straight line. You didn’t have the patience for his aggravating ass tonight.

“Am I really that horrible that you won’t accept my aid? I heard that you’ve been having problems with Lewis Structures. I may like to joke around, but I’m not really a masochist who likes to watch people suffer,” Chanhee chuckles with a shake of his head. “You’re just so easy to rile up.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you mutter, avoiding his piercing gaze. “But fine. If you’re actually gonna help me, I’ll let you just this once. I can’t afford to have this cost me a perfect midterm grade.”

He grins, something that looks conniving. You hate how much more attractive it makes him. You were thankful again for the fact that there were no other students present. It was embarrassing enough to be seen being civil with the worst person in the world.

Chanhee takes the seat beside you, turning it so he’s facing you. You keep your body squared to the table, flipping your textbook to the page on Lewis Structures and preparing a fresh sheet in your notebook. You feel your cheeks warm up with the attention on you, his arms still folded in front of him.

“S-So I don’t get the— um— I don’t— uh— I don’t understand the dominant— the dominant bonds,” your eyes squeeze shut, mortified by the amount of stuttering and fumbling over your words. “How do you— um— how do you determine them?”

He smiles at how cute you are, a shy side of you he’s never seen before. He was so used to you constantly arguing with him, used to you standing your ground and competing with him even when you knew he’d come out on top. He places an arm on the back of your chair, leaning in to read what was in your textbook although he didn’t need to. He just wanted an excuse to get closer to you.

“So you’re gonna want your formal charge to be as close to zero as possible. In order to calculate that, you’ll have to subtract the number of bonds divided by two and the number of electron pairs from the total number of valence electrons per individual atom,” Chanhee explains, pointing at the formula on the page. “How about I give you a couple examples to work on?”

You nod slowly, afraid your voice might betray you again. He jots down a few molecular examples on your notebook, pausing for a moment to nip at his lip and examine you. You blink, a little confused by the action.

“What are you doing?” There’s a slight crack in your tone.

“I have an idea,” he licks his lips. “To make this more rewarding for us both.”

Your brows furrow, his response further perplexing you. One of his hands situates itself on your thigh, your eyes widening. Of all days to wear a skirt, why did you have to choose today? You glance between his face and his hand, lips parted.

“Ch-Chanhee?”

“Yes, pretty?”

You don’t know why the nickname has your upper and lower heartbeats skipping, sweat forming on your palms. You’d always been too preoccupied despising him for being so much better at everything than you were. But right now, his fingers creeping beneath the denim of your skirt, all of that seemed to fly out of the window. You gasp as his fingertips reach the lace of your panties.

“I can make you feel good,” he says into your ear, thumb massaging your thigh. “I can make this worth your while if you do well for me.”

He was giving you fucking whiplash. One second he was teasing you for coming to the tutoring lab, and the next he was trying to coax you into coming quite literally. You think you’re the insane one, however, because you can’t conjure a logical reason to say no.

“Okay,” you breathe, shakily picking up your mechanical pencil. “Okay, I’ll do my best.”

You begin to work on the first molecule he wrote out, trying to ignore his slender fingers pushing aside your underwear and rubbing your clit gently. Your bottom lip quivers when his lips make contact with your neck, kissing up and down softly with each circle of his phalanges on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Chanhee presses two fingers inside of your cunt, smiling against your skin when you whimper, nearly dropping your pencil. You fight back tears threatening to spill from your eyes due to lack of reaction, his digits so skilled at working your pussy and looping that knot in your abdomen. Your legs spread wider as you attempt to finish the first example as quickly as possible, so he can knock you over that edge that seems so close now.

“D-Done,” you shiver, lids almost fluttering shut from pure bliss.

Chanhee judges your answer, fingers halting their movements when he recognizes an error. You whine, that taste of sweet release pulled right from under you like a rug. He tsks, kissing your temple as if he hadn’t just denied you an orgasm.

“That’s not the dominant structure. Try again.” He instructs, not continuing until you’ve picked up the pencil and rewrote the Lewis Structure.

You ignore his palm applying pressure to your clit as his fingers thrust in and out of your drooling cunt, lips sucking at the exposed base of your neck, where it meets your shoulder. Your focus zeroes in on completing this structure correctly, rearranging the electron bonds until they’re right. You feel your climax returning when he praises you for getting it this time.

“Such a smart girl,” he murmurs into your collarbone. “Now do the other one.”

He doesn’t stop his assault, increasing the pace of his fingers while you scribble out numbers and draw electron pairs. Your orgasm inches towards you, like a freight train going at full speed. Chanhee curls his middle finger, tripping you up and causing you to write down a wrong number on accident. Ever the perceptive, he relaxes his wrist and retracts his hand, the band in your stomach loosening along with it.

“Please, Chanhee,” you cry, tears beginning to roll down your cheeks. “Need to cum so bad.”

“Mm-mm,” he scolds. “Not until you finish the structure properly. C’mon, I know you can be a good girl for me.”

You force yourself to persevere, bottom lip between your teeth when he slips his fingers back into your pussy. Pretending like you weren’t on the cusp of euphoria was making you dizzy, but it was necessary if you wanted to reach it completely. You couldn’t handle a third denial.

Chanhee speeds up his fingers, adding his thumb on your clit for extra stimulation. It was like he did enjoy watching you suffer. Perhaps he really was a masochist. You scrawl the last electron bond of the structure, releasing the pencil from your grasp and throwing your head back with a low whine. He hums in appreciation at a job well done.

“Oh my god,” you moan softly, looking down at where his hand disappears in your skirt. “Feels s-so good.”

“Yeah?” Chanhee goads, peppering kisses on your jaw and nibbling at your pulse point. “Ready to cum for me, pretty? Gonna cum all over my fingers?”

You can’t even reply, his cocky voice filling your head as he finally permits your orgasm, walls convulsing and clenching around his digits with a wail. It hasn’t even occurred to you that you’re in a very public, very open space, where anyone could walk in at any given moment. Your brain is too foggy from your overstimulated cunt and the comprehension that Choi Chanhee just fucking fingered you to even consider the consequences of the location.

It only takes a few seconds for you to come to, your body catching up with your head. You look at Chanhee with eyes resembling those of a prey cornered by its predator.

“Why is your hand still inside my skirt?”

“‘S warm down there,” he shrugs with a sly smile. “Besides, I’m not really done with you yet.”

“What are you talking about…?” You trail off, throat dry from how winded this guy was making you.

“You still need some practice before your midterm, no? And I kinda wanna see how pretty you look under me.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz chanhee #the boyz new #tbz chanhee #tbz new #choi chanhee x reader #choi chanhee smut #chanhee x reader #chanhee smut #juyeonszn #fawntober.2023🎃

[nobylu]

Long Ass Logical Lore Conclusion Of The Balor (art at the end)

Let me put you on two trains of thought that will crash together like trucks on Mythbusters in a way that will make sense when they're together.

Train 1: Healing via putting numbers back on your health bar during battle is pretty rare in Lancer. There's really only two robots in the current edition of the game that can do it - the Lancaster can heal everyone and the Balor can fix itself. In fact, I'd argue that the Balor is defined more by healing than the Lancaster - you heal on your turn, you heal more on your turn if you activate your core power, you heal immediately after battle without expending repairs IF YOU ARE A BALOR AND YOU HAVE DAMAGE YOU HEAL and your DM vows to focus all fire on you so at least you take some kind of damage that's permanent (but then you activate your core power and say fuck you DM i rolled a d6 and got a 6 so actually there's no structure damage i am fine because I am a Balor)

Train 2: We all know and love that the Balor is just nanites on some sort of structure and that it goes yum yum yum on anything standing near it via the power of Scouring Swarm and Swarm Body (2-11dmg if you're standing next to one, if you dont know), but now we gotta ask - how do the nanites know where the robot ends and where the pilot begins? WHAT IS STOPPING THE NANITES FROM GOING AUTO YUM YUM YUM ON MY PILOT BECAUSE MY PILOT IS VERY ADJACENT TO THEM. I argue that what is keeping the nanites from snacking on their pilots is that the swarm knows what a human body is supposed to look like on several different levels. If they just know to not eat the skin, then the moment the pilot gets hurt because something got them when an enemy was shooting at the quote "angry water" that is the Balor then they get eaten from the inside out and turned into a fashionable human-sized human-shaped artisan raw leather bag because all the swarm knows not to touch is the pilot's skin. They also gotta know more than "a person is a head, torso, and four limbs" because then the bees will be the Diogenes to our Plato the moment, say, a space murder tiger comes into contact with the nanites and the bees will also cease to recognize the pilot when the space murder tiger rips off a leg because you know what's gonna happen the moment the pilot becomes a head, torso, and THREE limbs you guessed it it's yum yum yum time and now the swarm is the space murder tiger's, congratulations to the lucky tiger. So they gotta know skin, muscle, bones, blood, pilot's DNA, nerves - THE WHOLE NINE YARDS and probably how they sort of go together. (also probably clothes because i'd hate to pilot my bees and come out with my whole entire dick and balls and titties in the breeze because my bees atomized my fit and won't give it back). The subsequent collision of Train 1 and Train 2:

If Balors are greedy heal bots and know how people are put together, what is keeping them from healing their pilots. NOTHING, IS WHAT I SAY. I posit that Balor nanites can, in fact, fix their pilots because bodies are just the frames for the computational core that is the brain. How well you want them to fix their pilots is up to you - for me, the answer is poorly and with balor-ification. Mechanically, it can't be instantly because that would be busted and poor sport, but you can theme your Balor Pilot's revival upon their unfortunate death likely of reactor stress (RIP my shit heat cap) as "they got fixed up by their nanites". And if you really really want, you can add nanites to your Pilot like I did with my guy, Diederik.

Nanite Infestation and the Small Balor Stability Problem

You're familiar with that part of Balor lore that says that they don't work on anything smaller than size 2 because they just need SO MUCH ENERGY, so how do I justify through lore that my pilot has these nanites while also not acting as a size 1/4 Balor. The way I've perceived it is that Diederik, my boy my man my guy, is host to a swarm that 1) does not operate in its fullest capacity and 2) subsequently cannot do mech-level combat.

Balors have specialist nanites used in specific weapons like the Hellswarm, CONSUME/HIVE, and SWARM/HIVE. Something that can damage a mech probably is super energy-hungry, so we can have those be turned off. The only activated nanites would be structural nanites, sensor nanites, greywash (the part that eats), and reconstruction nanites that take what the greywash atomizes and glues it together like a 10 year old making a clay model of a person that makes you go "oohhh, thats... nice. Great job??? It looks just like me?". Just enough nanite activity that it can be powered by the human body at the low low price of "eat more food". (For Diederik, I've gone another step and will say that the reactor of the Balor is made of reactor nanites but that running them inside a human body uuuhhhh cooks it so those are off too.)

The cool thing about having Balor nanites permanently on you is that you can flavor all sorts of things as nanite shit. My pilot melee weapon is nanite knuckle dusters. I flavor my successful pilot-level rolls as the nanites doing something or alerting of something. I'm running the Bond Magus so all my Magus powers are just nanites doing their thing - skincrawl (get a bad feeling and react fast) is just the nanites telling Diederik about the bad thing in time for him to react, Geist (touch someone and experience what they do while unobserved even when far away) is just planting a nanite bug on them, Possession (ask the dark presence inside you a question) is just asking The Maw their/its opinion, etc.

(Another tidbit to chew on is that the swarm is still going to run a little toasty, so pilots hosting Balor nanites post healing are in turn going to be a little toasty just kind of always. Hello 100 freedom degree perma-fever.)

#art #Lancer #Lancer RPG #TTRPG #Mech #Mecha #Mechs #Nanites #nanite #balor #balor lancer #lore #HORUS #world building #lancer pilot #pilot #horror #body horror #microfiction #can you tell why i like Balors #Diederik Roy #my oc #oc art #oc lore

[lottiecrabie]

Morning sex with pfms Matty 😇

I know you are not taking blurb requests but I would really really love it if you wrote one about pfms matty taking care of reader during exam season because I know she is a studious gal. “Study dress babe? Let me ✨alleviate it✨” “you’ve been working so hard” all that,,, can you tell that I’m reader 😁😁 If I pass I’ll credit u for sure

i think it’s too late to help you pass but still

she bites at her nails, flicks her eyes between her books and her notes, desperately tries to understand the complex science jargon she’s dutifully transcribed without getting. there’s pink, square letters on the lines; a collection of bulletpoints and highlights and pretty drawings. it’s unintelligible to her.

worry starts to rise in her chest. she feels it near her heart, beating alongside it, racing it. tears prickle at her eyes as she bites her finger beds raw, chews at the skin until it tastes metallic. she swears, wiping away the blood, moaning in pain.

a knock on the window. she stands, opening it to find matty grinning at her. he dips in and gives her a sweet kiss.

‘we can’t see each other today.’ she shakes her head as matty steps inside her room. ‘i have an exam coming up. i need to study.’

‘it’s saturday,’ matty says, like she was a bit silly. ‘live a little.’

again, she shakes her head. ‘i’m really not getting it. it’s— shit, it’s actually hard.’ she gives him a warning look, silently stopping him from saying whatever stupid quip he’s thinking.

‘you sound stressed,’ matty says, frowning.

‘i am.’

‘how about i help with that?’ a faint, cheeky smile shines on his face, hidden under the guise of seriousness. she gives him a look, unimpressed. ‘i meant studying,’ matty raises both his hands innocently.

‘sure you did.’

‘c’mon, let me see,’ matty sits at her desk, peering over her notes. ‘ouch.’

‘yeah.’ a small, pained moan comes from the back of her throat. she falls over her bed quite dramatically, spreading her arms in abandon. ‘my parents will kill me.’

‘they won’t,’ matty waves away, flipping a page.

‘no, they will. quite brutally, even. is the iron maiden still legal?’

‘god, you’re dark,’ matty says almost proudly. ‘and they won’t kill you because you won’t fail. alright. why can the ionization of atoms occur during photoelectron spectroscopy, even though ionization is not a thermodynamically favored process?’ matty looks up at her. ‘oh, we will be here all night.’

and they are, falling asleep clutching flash cards and notes, chemistry elements slack on their tongues. they wake up fully dressed, over the sheets, awkwardly tucked around each other.

she blinks awake, blushing as she notices matty. it’s the first time he’s fallen asleep here, and it’s not even for a dirty reason. there’s a strange feeling coming with that idea. she unwraps her arms around his middle, freeing him, taking her head off his shoulder.

matty makes a small, tired noise. ‘i feel my hand again,’ he says, moving his fingers.

‘you could have moved me,’ she accuses, now feeling terrible for his discomfort.

‘nah. i liked having you close.’ matty rolls on his side, watching her with a smile. ‘you’re cute when you sleep.’

‘oh, god. i hope i didn’t drool.’

‘just a little.’

‘matty!’ she whines. she shoves her face into her palms with a shamed groan.

‘what? i’ve seen worse.’ he tugs at her hand, coaxing her out.

she emerges from them still vaguely embarrassed. ‘thank you for helping me study,’ she whispers.

‘you’re welcome.’ he kisses her cheek, then the other, bending away just enough to stare at her. his eyes dip to her parted lips. ‘now can i help you the other way?’

she reddens, a low thrum of excitement coming up her spine. ‘yes,’ she breathes, looking away bashfully.

matty grins widely. he makes to catch her lips, but she turns her head. ‘morning breath,’ she explains. he shakes his head, but kisses down her neck instead.

matty rolls her on her back, uncovering her evening clothes one by one. she breathes quicker, watching him, trying to make even less noise. her parents are right next door, surely awake.

he licks down her belly, flipping her skirt, before sucking on her clit through her underwear. she jumps, spreading her legs wider, tugging at her own panties to try taking them off. matty listens, laughing as he drags them off her thighs, coming back happy.

he zigzags across her wet core, just missing the parts where she wants him the most. his hands keep her in place, teasing her until she’s dripping on the sheets.

‘matty,’ she whispers. ‘please.’

‘so polite,’ matty taunts, though gives in to her still.

his lips wrap around her bud and he sucks, flicking it a few times. his fingers thrust into her. he follows the familiar, known rhythm, one that has her kicking in bed and tugging vengefully at his hair in no time. she slaps one hand over her mouth, breathing twice as hard to compensate.

pleasure razes through her, hot, white euphoria waving building inside her belly. she feels an indescribable heat. her sweaty hair sticks to her forehead in answer.

pressure grows inside of her, tightening and tightening until she’s so tense she could crack.

she whispers his name, though it’s smothered by her palm. matty seems to hear it still, garbled and muffled, and he licks her with twice the devotion.

sunlight shines on her naked breasts. she pants, giggling to herself, always in disbelief that she’s almost coming until she’s there, she’s right—

‘honey,’ her father knocks at her door. she jumps, opening her eyes wide. ‘are you getting ready? we leave for church soon.’

‘oh, um—‘ matty fucks his fingers faster. ‘yeah, i’m almost there—‘ she bites back a scream, rolling her eyes.

‘ok. we’ll wait for you downstairs.’

as soon as his steps disappear down the hallway, she finally breaks, coming with a killed cry. the tight strings snap and delicious relief spreads through her, relaxing each limb until she’s slack on her bones. she grins loosely, feeling her head sing.

matty kisses her bud, coming up her body with a grin. ‘you’ve got church,’ he says, cheeky.

‘i do.’ she cups both his cheeks, still shortwinded. ‘will i see you there?’

‘if i can’t help it,’ matty sighs dramatically.

she gives him a small, teasing smirk. ‘maybe i can return the favor there.’

he is suddenly deadly serious. ‘i will be there.’

she giggles, giving him a small smack of lips, pushing him away when he tries to part his mouth. ‘morning breath,’ she reminds him.

already dressed from a fitful sleep, matty puts on his shoes and opens the window. she sits in bed, truly loose and relaxed. ‘thanks for the help,’ she smiles.

he throws a leg over the window sill. he winks. ‘any time.’

#pfms comeback #pray for my soul #blurb #smut #ask

[ladykailitha]

A Valentine’s Day to Remember Steve’s POV Part 2

Just a reminder: if you want to be tagged in the Eddie POV, you have to let me know both, otherwise I’ll assume you just mean this story.

Part 1

*

Over the course of the week, Eddie would pop into the store asking Steve about his favorite foods, places to go, and even his favorite color.

“What do you want my favorite color for?” Steve had asked with a laugh.

Eddie just shook his head. “Just answer the question, pretty boy.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s blue. Like baby blue.”

Eddie grinned and just flounced out the store like his mission had been accomplished.

“You want to know what I think?” Robin asked, one hand on her hip.

Steve slumped dejectedly. “Come on, Robs. Don’t start.”

“He’s got the hots for you,” she continued, completely ignoring his pleas.

“It might not have anything to do with date at all,” Steve said. “He could just be asking random questions to throw me off.”

“Or...” Robin said with a grin, “and hear me out...it could be that he really wants to get to know you and give you the best date you’ve ever had.”

Steve slammed his head on the counter in frustration.

*

Steve had to go shopping and Eddie decided to come with. And while shopping with Eddie was chaotic, it wasn’t the out and out screaming match that it was when he had one or more of the nuggets with him.

Steve had gotten everything he needed but was wandering the candy aisle looking for the Atomic Warheads El had asked him to buy for her. Apparently Mike had been dipping into her Gobstopper stash and she was going to teach him a lesson he wouldn’t soon forget. And who was Steve to get in the way of sweet, sweet revenge.

Eddie had went off in search of something he wouldn’t tell Steve about when he literally came bounding up to him.

“Steve! Steve! Steve!” Eddie greeted.

Steve smiled at him fondly. “Hey, Eddie.” As if they had been apart far longer than then the two or three minutes it actually had been.

“If you were stranded on a deserted island with a crate of candy to subsist on, which one would it be?”

Steve looked around the small aisle and turned to Eddie with a blush. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? It’s bad enough I got ragged on all throughout middle school for liking them.”

Eddie furrowed his brow. “I wouldn’t.”

Steve walked to the end of the aisle where all the knock off brand candy was and picked up a small bag. He carried it back to Eddie and handed it to him, eyes cast down.

Eddie gently took the bag from him and looked down at it. “Circus peanuts? But that’s‒” he almost said poor people candy, but he stopped himself in time.

“Disgusting? Gross? Lame?” Steve asked, bitterly.

Eddie shook his head. “No, no. I was going to say...but that’s my favorite, too.”

Steve looked up at him through his eyelashes. “You mean that?”

Eddie nodded. “They have to be soft though.”

Steve grinned. “Absolutely. I always give the bag a squeeze to make sure they aren’t stale.”

“Fondling candy, tsk, tsk, Steve,” Eddie teased.

Steve laughed. “Toss them in, you menace,” he said, pointing to their basket.

Eddie laughed too and did as he was told.

*

Steve woke up Saturday morning feeling less like shit then he had all the other Valentine’s days he’s had before. There was no queasiness about whether the flowers would arrive on time. No stress about calling the restaurant twelve more times to make sure they still had his reservation.

Eddie had even told him not to worry about what to wear, him and Robin would have it all taken care of by the time he had gotten off work.

So he was happily humming along, being cheerful even to the customers that wanted movies that had all been rented out by yesterday, because you know, people planned in advance and shit.

And then Tommy Hagen walked through that door.

Steve sighed, but straightened up. “Welcome to Family Video,” he greeted with now false cheer.

Tommy spotted him and laughed. “You still at this dump?”

Steve sighed, but kept the smile plastered on his face. “I like the hours, I get work with my best friend, and I get to watch all the movies I want for free. What’s not to like?”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “You were going places, man. Look at you now.”

Steve put his hand on his hip and let Tommy take a good hard look at him. Because Steve was in better shape than he had been in high school. He still ran every morning and swam as often as he could. He could break Tommy’s face with a single punch. Steve knew how he looked. He looked good.

“I’m very satisfied with my life, Tommy,” Steve said with the cock of his head. “Can you say the same? Because yeah. I’m working here on Valentine’s day. But you’re the sad schmuck who’s here looking for a movie for Valentine’s day.”

Tommy scoffed turning his head. “At least I have a date, Steve-o.”

Steve smiled at him. “And who says I don’t?”

Just then, Keith walked in from the back. “I’m just gonna go take a piss and then you can go,” he told Steve.

Steve and Tommy just watched until Keith was out of sight.

“Nice try, Harrington,” Tommy said with an eye roll. “Word around town is that no girl in her right mind will go near your scaly ass with all your scars.”

The bell above the door rang out and in walked Eddie Munson.

Steve’s brain went offline as he took in the metalhead. From what Steve could see under his leather jacket was grey vest and a black button-up. He had paired this with tight leather pants and chunky combat boots.

“Like what you see, Stevie?” Eddie asked with a grin.

Tommy whirled around and took him all in. He gulped and turned beat red.

“Take a picture, Tommy,” Eddie said. “It’ll last longer.” He sauntered up to Steve. “You about ready to go, babe?”

Steve grinned. “Just waiting for Keith to get back from the bathroom.” He jutted his thumb toward the back of the store.

And sure enough, out came Keith.

“All right, Steve,” he said. “Go ahead and clock out. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Bye, boss!” Steve replied. He clocked out at the computer and made his way around the counter to where Eddie and Tommy were standing.

“Looking good, Eds,” he said, completely ignoring Tommy.

Eddie grinned. “Just wait until you see what Robin and I picked out for you to wear tonight.”

Tommy’s eyes went wide. “Since when do you like the boys, Steve?”

Steve turned to Tommy with a small frown of confusion. “Always?”

The noise Tommy made was somewhere between a whine of frustration and whimper of defeat. “The fuck?”

Eddie licked the top row of his teeth as he took Tommy in. He put a possessive hand on Steve’s lower back. “We need to go, babe. I have plans tonight.”

Steve blushed, but let Eddie lead him out of the store.

Tommy blinked and then turned to Keith. “Did you just fucking see that?”

Keith looked up from where he had been straightening the display by the register. “No.” And he went back to what he was doing.

Tommy tried to protest, but Keith steadfastly ignored him.

Steve just shook his head as Eddie chatted away happily.

*

“Did you see the look on his face?” Eddie crowed.

“I know, right?” Steve laughed. “I wonder who he paid to pretend to like him enough to let him fuck them tonight.”

Eddie let out a sputtering laugh. “Give a guy some warning before you say shit like that, man.”

Steve just grinned.

They arrived at the Munsons’ new house. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for two bachelors, and some day, just one.

“Your uncle going to be home tonight?” Steve asked.

Eddie grinned. “You looking to score, pretty boy?”

Steve blushed. “No, I’m just not sure I could shower with him home...”

Eddie tilted his head. “Babe, you’ve showered completely naked next to boys all throughout high school. Why are you suddenly shy about my uncle in the house? You’re not his type.”

Steve blushed and looked down. “It’s not that. I‒I mean‒” Eddie just continued to stare at him.

“It’s my scars, all right!” he said, finally exploding.

Eddie pulled him for a hug. “Shit, sweetheart. I forgot. No, baby. He’s not home. Okay?”

Steve just nodded into Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Eddie asked, looking down at him.

“I sure got this date off to such a great start...” he mumbled.

“Hey, now,” Eddie cooed. “It hasn’t started yet. You still need to get ready, okay?”

Steve nodded.

“Your clothes and everything you’ll need is in the bag on the vanity in the bathroom,” Eddie said, leading the way. “I just need to step out for a few minutes and I’ll be right back.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped. “If this is about the scar thing, don’t. I don’t mind you seeing them. I just wasn’t sure I was ready for your uncle to yet.”

Eddie kissed his forehead. “Nope. This was already part of the plan. You go get ready.”

Steve blushed but did as he was bid.

He striped down and pulled open the black duffel bag that was right where Eddie said it was going to be. On the top was his shampoo and conditioner as well as his body wash, deodorant, hair dryer and hairspray. He grinned. He loved his friends. They knew him all too well.

He carried his shampoo, conditioner, and body wash into the warm spray of the shower and was a little surprised to see four bottles already on the little caddie hanging over the shower head. One was a three-in-one. The other three were a shampoo and conditioner especially formulated for curly hair and a body wash.

Steve flipped open the body wash and took a sniff.

Oh.

He had always assumed Eddie wore cologne because he always smelled so nice. But it was this.

Christ.

He looked down to see that his body was taking a vested interest in this new information.

He put the bottle down quickly and began lathering himself up with his own body wash, trying to think of disgusting things to calm down.

It worked for the most part and he was able to shower without incident.

He dried himself off with the towels Eddie had provided and tried not to think of Eddie doing the same thing earlier that day.

Steve put on his deodorant and dried his hair. He then pulled out the underwear and again, his thoughts went dirty because there was no way on god’s green earth was Robin going to go through his underwear drawer.

He quickly got dressed. Inside were dark grey jeans, a black sweater, and the stupid black suit jacket he had wore to Tina’s Halloween party. He sighed. He couldn’t fault them for grabbing it. He did look good in it. They just didn’t know why he kept in the back of his closet.

But he set it aside so he could style his hair. Maybe he’d get some good memories with it. But if he struck out tonight, he was burning the damn thing.

The last thing besides the socks where a pair of shiny Oxfords he didn’t remember having. He hoped they didn’t buy them for him.

He threw his dirty clothes into the bag and grabbed the shoes and jacket. He took all them out to the front room to put them on.

He tied the shoes and buffed them a bit with the sleeve of his sweater. He smiled, feeling pleased with himself.

Part 3

Tag List: @zerokrox-blog @bidisastersworld @carlyv @swimmingbirdrunningrock @bejeweledbaby @maya-custodios-dionach @makewavesandwar @estrellami-1 @princess-josephina @abstractnaturaldisaster @a-little-unsteddie @madamonsieur-silvrene

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #valentine's fic #ladykailtiha writes

[aliveinacoffin]

Request

Hi I was thinking if you could do aizawa having a sibling or daughter. Like a younger sister or daughter who he teaches and do some type of angst with them. Like him not paying much attention to her or she’s caught doing something (like smoking,drugs). Something like that. Thank you☺️

Ofc! This seems so sad, idk if you wanted angst and comfort so I just made it angst/no comfort 😭

My Own Mirror

I don't know if you wanted this to be a reader insert so I decided to just make it third person and give the little guy a nickname. as always, should be around 1k words!

TW for w33d smoking, mention of eating problems, mentions of childhood abuse, mentions of parent death, and suicidal ideations.

The cold bitter air was a grounding feeling on the young woman's flesh. Her fingers curled around the blunt she had, the smoke disappearing into the night air. The pleasant haze was soon to take over her mind, something to finally take the stress away from her life.

The headache she had from her too tight ponytail or from the lack of water and food or from her classes.

Her life was already shit enough, with shit parents and an even shittier school experience. Her quirk gave her no physical advantages at all. Her strength, smarts, and speeds were purely human. The only thing she could rely on was her absolutely atomic quirk.

When she makes skin-to-skin contact with a quirk user, she can paralyze them for up to twenty minutes if she really tried. For non-quirk users, it was up to ten. Which was great since the victim had no option but to stay frozen in that same exact spot, but horrid when you realize that most heroes and villains had some sort of superhuman ability.

The raven haired girls spiraling thoughts stopped when her mind fully succumbed to the familiar haze of her old friend. Sighing, she put out the rest of her blunt and flicked off the tiny piece that was left. She watched it fling across U.A grounds, landing on the perfectly manicured lawn. She turned back to her room, locking the door behind her.

___________________________________________

"Now, I will make this clear since there was evidence of smoking on school grounds. Smoking, of any kind, is absolutely prohibited. If you are caught even within 50 feet of a cigarette butt, it's automatic expulsion." Aizawa Shouta's voice was clear and stern.

His dark eyes scanned the room of young future heros, spending equal time looking at each one. When his black eyes matched with golden ones, he quickly looked away.

The young woman had to keep the hair on her body from becoming hard points that gravitated towards the ground.

"Now, on with the assignment for the day." The cold teacher turned towards the chalkboard and started to write whatever hero ethics problems they had.

___________________________________________

"Aizawa-sensei, I was wondering if you could help me with this problem." Her voice rang out, just as monotone as his.

Shouta sighed, looking up at the younger version of him through tired eyes. Even though Aizawa was a common last name, it was hard to deny the fact that the young girl wasn't related to him. They had the same dark hair, the same dry humor, their looks were almost identical, and their quirks were only offshoots of the other. Even their eyes were the same, both of them turning a beautiful golden hue when they used their quirks.

Though, of course, many people were wrong in their assumptions. Most people thought that she was the older man's child. Thus, many affectionately gave her the title 'Little 'zawa' truly, a creative breakthough.

In truth, she was his younger sister. Way, younger sister. Even though both of them had been accidents, something both their parents had constantly reminded both, she was even more of a mistake than Shouta.

Still, his mini me shuffled closer to his desk, awkwardness filling her entire body. He had been thirteen when she was born, already going through puberty, and was ready to get out of the house when she had been born. To say they never had a good relationship was an understatement. The loss of his friend only estranged the two of them more.

"Make this quick, I have lots of papers to grade." Aizawa was blunt and to the point. Barely giving her a second glance as he went back to scratching off red marks on poor students' hard work.

Resentment filled her once again, anger curling up fast and hot in her. He had always made it clear that the two of them weren't close, that they had no personal relationship except matching parentage and had the unfortunate to end up in the same class.

"I was just struggling to understand question nine, and I needed further clarifying-" She started, trying to keep her brows from furrowing.

"I explained that in class, weren't you paying attention? I don't have the time to explain myself twice for everything I say." He was exasperated, simply put off by the entire interaction.

"It's just one question. Would it kill you to just talk to me?" Anger got the better of her, and the assignment she had crinkled under her fist. She moved to try and put herself in his line of vision and slammed her hands on top of his desk. "Are you that ashamed of me?"

In a quick movement, Shouta stood up to his towering height over the girl, eyes dark and mouth set in a harsh frown. "That's no way to speak to your teacher. Now you should leave before I give you detention." He had one hand on the armrest of his rolly chair, clenching the poor handle with all his might.

She glared at him, mirroring his expression before she started to blink away the rapidly forming hot tears. She made a quick turn on her heel, wadding up the assignment before chucking it into the trash bin by the door. "Thanks for the help, sensei!" Her angry voice yelled out to him as she disappeared down the hallway.

Aizawa sighed deeply, collapsing onto the chair and holding his aching head in his hands.

___________________________________________

Just as always, the sunset makes way for the moon to rise. The stars were no longer covered in the bright light of the sun, constellations, and milky ways soon were revealed in the dark night sky.

And just as always, little 'zawa found herself back on her balcony. She had some comfort with the makeshift overhead and the sheen blanket she had set up around it.

The remnants of her current activity lay around, little flakes of her weed staying untouched on her metal tray, her grinder next to it. Little sheets for her blunts gently swaying in the light breeze.

The only thing that gave herself away to anyone else was the smoke that occasionally bloomed up in the air.

Playing on her phone, her blunt fingernails tap tap tapping in the quiet night, sporadically inhaling her cure-all. She failed to notice the dark figure standing on her balcony.

Someone loudly cleared their throat, loudly and obnoxiously.

The sounds startled the girl, and panic seized her so badly that she dropped her phone and her blunt. Her head snapped with wide eyes finding the source of her interruption.

"Shit."

"That's all you have to say for yourself?" Aizawa said simply, face set in a disappointed scowl.

At those words, something in the girl's mind snapped, like a rubber band finally giving up after being stretched and forced too far.

"What else could I say? You won't listen to me either way, you hardly even spare a glance my way! When Mom died, you weren't even there. I had to sort her will all by myself, I had to plan her own funeral, and you left me to deal with Dad. You left me all alone, Shouta, do you even know who I am?" She sobbed, fat crocodile tears rolling down her face while her hands painfully clutched at her beating heart. Her hot face scrunched up at her older brother's form. "The only way I feel normal, where I don't want to just jump off a bridge is by getting fucked up."

There was a beat of silence, only the sounds of the youngest Aizawas crying could be heard.

"I'm sorry I was born and I'm sorry I ever came into your life." She said quietly, voice horse and barely above a whisper.

She looked up at her teacher, her older brother, a stranger through teary eyes.

The whole time Shouta had just been staring at her with an icy stare, "No, I have no idea who you are." He said, shoulders drooping, his eyes fluttering as he looked away.

Almost ashamed.

#my hero academia #aizawa shouta #shota aizawa #mha #mha fanfiction #mha angst #aizawa angst #im literally sobbing #shes not even a real character or fully fleshed out one #but i need them to be happy #shes just his little mini me

[seraphicalsuccubus]

god man I have been having a fucking t i m e lately jesus fuck

but now I’ve got a new electric bong device thing that has atomizers for both dry herb and extracts (because ya girl is a clumsy fucking moron and broke 3 of my goddamn smoking things in the same WEEK my guys. ONE WEEK and I broke two smoking devices and my hot knife, so I’ve been v pissed) and some flower and some vapes from an order I had my aunt pick up with her med card from her dispensary so I had some shit because I am basically unable to leave my fucking house right now and a plan to go to MA with her soon to get some concentrates to stock up on like everything and probs have her get me another order from her dispensary in CT the same day too so I have a stockpile of weed so I don’t have to literally run myself dry like I did this time because of the bullshit going on at home

and after all the fucking stress I’ve gone through this whole last fucking month PLUS of bullshit, I’m just gonna get as high as humanly fucking possible tonight until I can’t even open the cover thing to the chamber of the dry herb vaporizer part of my bong to repack it (okay but fr sober me struggles w opening that, it’s impossible for high me. this device is not stoner friendly lmao) and just fucking vibe and try to have a good night for the first time in a while

I like refuse to let anything bring me down tonight. I’ve been so low and barely functioning and scraping by for so long now, I’ve been so inactive on literally everything, I barely even leave my fucking bed every day because I just do not have the drive or motivation to exist aside from taking care of the cats, i have not gamed, I have not turned on my tv in months, I don’t talk to anyone but my boyfriend and like one other friend regularly, I’ve had no human interaction physically aside from my aunt dropping off my order and hanging out for a couple hours since my sisters fucking birthday back in the end of fucking January, my roommate/former best friend basically ignores my existence unless she needs something from me, and I just. I’m gonna get lethally high, FaceTime my boyfriend for like 8 hours until we’re both just finally fucking falling asleep sitting there around like 3am, and make tonight a decent night. I’m determined to have a good night okay I’m manifesting this I deserve it please give me one fucking good night please 😭

#also the total amount of everything I broke in like 4 days was like $800 🙃🙃🙃 #but my new bong that does dry herb and extracts was only 200???? and it’s fucking AMAZING????? I’m in love with this thing deadass

[hushedstars]

I didn't expect this episode to be sunshine and rainbows but neither did I expect it will leave me feeling exhausted, heavy, conflicted...

I'm not happy with how Atom's storyline was resolved. Everyone was way too nice to him. He deserved stern talking to. A powerpoint on how everything he made up was wrong, and dangerous, and how because of people like him the real victim's are not being heard. He didn't deserve that hug from Cheum. And she shouldn't be so calm and dare I say... amused and fond in a 'och you poor silly boy'. (I am still not sure what I think about what Boston and Nick did. I expected that they will use Nick's stalking skills and record their confrontation with him in which it would be obvious he is full of shit and lied, and then show it to Cheum and the rest or sth. But the ending of that confrontation? Again. Waaaay too nice.)

I don't like Mew's scene with his moms. This is purely personal to me but I'm sick of older generation being all for second chances and staying in relationships that are clearly not meant to be (as Top said, things that happened between them will always linger in the background). And while i don't like Top he is the one that I think could end up hurt later on. Relationship built on one person constantly groveling while having that tiny fear of being still strung along for revenge, and the other person fearing they may be cheated on again and still wanting to spite the other sounds exhausting. And unhealthy. There is no trust between them.

SandRay. Gosh I don't know what to say. I like drama in this show. It's fun. Boeing bringing his whole ass self into OF was really exciting to watch. But this? I wasn't having fun. I was exhausted, and stressed the more Sand was doing whatever he was doing (I want to think it's him missing a friend that shares all his hobbies or trying to be 'unbothered' to not show how hurt he was or maybe people-pleasing that makes him unable to hurt others/put himself first. Because I refuse to entertain the idea - and fail at it - that he is still hung up on Boeing when just 'seconds ago' he pretty much agreed with Ray that they both - SandRay - can't live apart. You can be friends with your ex, sure. But not one that hurt you like that, and seems to be hitting on you again. And sending your boyfriend away TWICE? What is he supposed to think... Just aghhh Sand.). Also feeling heavy with Ray's behaviour. The way he was testing (?) Sand just sat wrong with me. Do I maybe get it? I guess. (This post by @firstkanaphans ? my heart hurts) Did it hurt and was uncomfortable to watch? Especially with Sand looking like he wants to be anywhere else but there? Yes. Talk to each other boys. Of everything I thought may happen between Boeing, Sand and Ray this didn't even cross my mind.

(I'm suffering from lack of kisses between Sand and Ray. I don't mean making out and stuff but a peck for that guitar, and a petty 'stating my claim' peck when Ray left Sand with Boeing... just little kisses from finally happy - for five seconds - SandRay would have been nice.)

#only friends the series #only friends spoilers #only friends ep 11 #mine post #(the personal part: it reminded me of how my parents opinion made my little sister give 2nd chance to her trash boyfriend) #only friends sand #only friends atom #sand x ray #top x mew #i hope the link works #only friends

[onlylovingstrangers]

Break Up With Your Girlfriend (I'm Bored)

CW: inexplicit s£x scenes

Monday

"You can't keep doing this," Kozume Kenma says by way of greeting.

You let your head fall to one side. "Should I go?"

"You know that's not what I fuckin' mean."

"Show me what you mean then," you whisper, and Kenma doesn't even wait for you to finish before in one silvery move he's whisking you across the threshold and through a series of long corridors and into a dark, forgiving room. Behind you the sound of a door slamming shut echoes.

Yes, you think as he curls into you, coming here was the right decision.

Everything else melts away: the shit your boss gives you about everything under the sun, your stressful family dinners now that you're single but at a marriageable age, that fight with your sister two days ago where neither she nor you have forgiven yourself. You feel born anew, washed clean of frustration.

"That was so good," you whisper, when you think Kenma is asleep.

He squeezes your hand.

Tuesday

"Hey," he says.

Through the fish-eyed lens of the intercom Kenma looks comically small and young, even more so when he lifts his arms to show plastic take-out bags sporting yellow smiley faces and a tagline: Thank you, come again! "I brought food."

Unexpected, but you buzz him up anyways. He gamely climbs up all four flights up stairs to your one-bedroom flat.

There isn't enough space on the kitchen counter for the food, nor on the dining room table, so the two of you make do by overturning two of the many moving boxes and pushing them together to make a table.

"Sorry it's a mess, I've been too busy with work to unpack or clean."

"No, I like it. This is my first time here. Show me around."

"There's nothing to show," you laugh. "It's tiny. But it's an hour's commute from my family home, so I shouldn't get any surprise ambushes from my mom."

Kenma hums, finishing the last of his Sichuan chili oil noodles. You'd feel guilty for speaking ill of your mother in front of anyone else, but you and Kenma grew up together, and he knows what she's like sometimes. "What did Auntie do now?"

You sigh. "No point getting into it now. I just like that I'm far away from home."

"I like that it's closer to my house than your old place."

"Yeah?"

"It's a nice walk. 20 minutes. Good exercise."

"Is that why this impromptu housewarming took place?"

"It's not impromptu. I'm wining and dining you. There's just no wine. Or dessert."

"Bummer."

Half an hour later the two of you are quiet, laying on the floor like you used to as children.

You're feeling restless again. You need to be doing something or else that indescribable emptiness will overtake you.

"Kenma, I promised you an apartment tour. Let's start here..." you lead him into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind you.

Wednesday

"What are we?"

"An arbitrary arrangement of molecules."

Kenma sighs your name. "Come on. Do better than that. What are we?"

We are... an arbitrary arrangement of atoms."

He releases his loose grip on your wrist and turns his back to you. You stare at the naked canvas of his back, boyish in its smoothness and whiteness and cleanliness, every slight movement making his muscles ripple like angel wings.

"Good night," you tell it. You hold your breath.

For a long time, nothing. An artificial and alert silence holds court.

Finally — "Night." Kenma says it gruffly, reluctantly. Still. You let the air seep slowly from slightly parted lips.

Thursday

"You know I like you, right?"

The two of you are not at his home nor yours. Instead, you are at a fancy restaurant located on the highest floor of a fancy building. One dinner costs a week's worth of wages. Needless to say, you have no appetite.

You want to go home.

If Kenma notices your silence, he doesn't attempt to acquaint himself with it. "I don't know. It just occurred to me that you might not have noticed. I like you, as a person. And I want to be in an exclusive relationship with you."

"Well, we kind of already are that, right? You're the only person I see everyday, other than my boss," you say, attempting to dissolve the foreign atmosphere.

"But we only have physical intimacy. I want us to build an emotional bond."

"Kenma, you're my best friend. You've been my best friend since we were 8 years old! You're my only friend!"

"That's not what I mean!" He checks himself. "I want to be someone you confide in, instead of shutting down every time I ask what's on your mind. I want you to be comfortable sharing pieces of your life with me, like grabbing dinner or doing chores, instead of acting like a host with her guest. I want to be your choice. Not your only option."

"Kenma," you say after the sting rubs in. "That hurt."

"I'm sorry," he says, genuinely apologetic. "I didn't mean for it to come out this way. I—" he's interrupted by the waiters who come bearing your entrees. "Thank you," he says to them.

You quietly start into your fillet. Definitely not worth the price, you think. But you are going to finish this plate no matter what.

Across from you, Kenma hasn't even touched his utensils yet.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

You look into your best friend's eyes. You could say yes and make him so, so happy. You know he's serious about you.

You know that from the times he's whispered I love you: into your skin when you're in bed, in the mornings when he thinks you're still asleep, when you slide him a cup of coffee made just the way he likes it. You know that from his lingering gazes when you leave his apartment, the sadness that you're going, the hope that you may come back.

You can't pay his sincerity with disrespect.

"Kenma..."

"Let's finish our dinner."

By the time you two leave, he's still barely touched his food.

Friday

You're running on approximately 30 minutes of sleep. Even your bitchy boss takes pity on you and tells you to take a sick day.

You can't get the image of your best friend, your oldest friend, your most cherished friend's eyes out of your mind. So you resolve to go straight to his place, clear things up.

You knock on his door. No response, but you see the light clearly on. You ring his doorbell, try his phone. Still nothing.

Finally, after what seems like ages, Kuroo finds you sitting on the front step, waiting unhappily.

"How immature is he," you gripe when the door finally opens.

"I want to say that to you," Kuroo smiles weakly. "But I don't kick people when they're down."

"Can I go in?"

Kuroo hesitates. "I don't think so. I'm sorry."

You scoff, standing up. "Are you serious? I'm going to have a word with him no matter what— get out of my way—"

"Stop," Kuroo says softly.

"I just wanted him to know, I do love him. I just can't be what he wants — but I do love him, I do—"

"Then you'll give him his space," Kuroo says, steadying you on the step. "You've hurt him enough."

The door closes on you firmly.

#inspo by 500 days of summa madness #very loosely inspired Doe #ive been fascinated by the unravelljng of relationships recently #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyū!! #kenma x reader #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #kozume kenma #hq kenma #kenma angst

[lonesomedotmp3]

teeeee 🫶 i was going to send this earlier but i got really stressed out by the supergirl episode i had on and i paused it and fell asleep… it happens!!!! anyway happy birthday yayyy i know your day is like. almost over but i hope you enjoy the rest of it and no one bothers you and everyone is really niceys… and i hope your shitty roommates die and that text message guy falls into a sewer and is eaten by rats and i hope all your friends realize how lucky they are to get to be around you etc!! it’s not fair that we’re separated by the ocean if i was there i would have stopped all that shit that’s annoying you!!!!! but i digress!! still so utterly absolutely grateful to get to know you in this limited internet based capacity you are like one of the most beautiful lights in my life for real… in many ways it’s like the atoms we’re consisted of were once right next to each other in a dying star. 🩷 i love watching tv shows with you even though we have never found a way to coordinate an actual joint viewing (blaming that one on the time difference of it all!!!!) and i loveeee it when you watch or read something at my recommendation and you have all the same reactions i had it’s like we have a soul bond fr… gonna take one second to say again that you should watch supergirl…. and i love watching things that you recommended because you always just Get Me in a way not many people seem to…. anyway i love being your friend i love that your birthday is the day after my bbc merlin anniversary i love that we both have birthdays on the 18th i love watching old ass tv shows with you i love you <3 and i’m going to watch cloak and dagger soon i promise i just accidentally got really caught up in books for a couple weeks there i need to balance my media intake better and then i’ll watch it!!! ok bye xoxo love beth

also how crazy is it that pope gif is literally the most i’ve seen of season 3. me when a show was so fucking bad i couldn’t even watch its latest season despite being completely obsessed and in love with it back in the days of season 1….. pate bros kill yourselves and all that

oh beth 🖤🖤🖤 you are so important to me and my life we really seriously are soul bonded... our born on the 18th swag <3 that is so nice to hear whenever I watch a film I love I'm always like I'm not sure who will Understand this like I do EXCEPT... you always get it 🫂 I promise I will watch some supergirl I just need to find it somewhere I don't think it's easily available in the uk so I might have to dl the first season it'll be a whole thing. I mean really it's not that crazy I'm just lazy sorry <33 and I hope u love cloak and dagger fr I might rewatch it soon... heterosexual love is so beautiful... ANYWAY. I love you 🖤🖤 when we watch lost season two it's going to go crazy even if it's bad we'll be in it together we'll get silly with it ok 🫶

#and re: obx i literally have not seen anything of it except that gif i swear... seasons that don't even exist in my beautiful mind... #absolute madness that obx is what brought us to each other though. we'll always have to give it that!! 🫶🫂🫂 #ask tag #katnissgirlsmakedo #AND. crazy the closest we came to a joint viewing is when we watched the merlin finale... maybe we're too traumatised from that... #you still having to just go about your day afterwards was so bonkers u were so ridiculously strong for that...

[thickness-protection-program]

The worst part about art YouTube/TikTok is when they get new paint markers and jackhammer the tip onto the paper to get out the paint. NO! That's shit stresses me OUT. Go easy sweetie before you accidentally collide atoms. And you just ruined the nib! For clout?!

[thaissa1918]

Dear Jeremy: For over six months now i Have some stalker hacking into and destroying everything I do on the computers. He also can shut off my two cell phones whenever he wants to and almost murdered me over this past weekend. He can hear very ell what I say. I was having chess pains from the stress this person is constantly terrorizing me daily He heard me say "I am having chest pains from his stress, and I need to call either an ambulance and/or doctor. When I went to pick up my phone to call my cardiologist the man shut off my cell phone service on both my phones and I had a heart attack right here in the apartment. Last week when I felt suicidal, I went to use my cell phone to call my psychologist. When I picked up the cell phone this bastard whomever he is stopped my cell phone service for over 8 hours to try to murder me by letting me have a heart attack and not being able to call anyone. I found him on my cell phone recording my voice to murder and having an album cover .He is trying to murder me using the same type of murder weapon's my father and the mafia uses as a regular hobby. He has all types of head and screen shots of me. He is putting in what he 2was in a file called my last words and DIE/ARY called "DIERY QUEEN<" he has recorded all the shit things I have said about the mafia and you and I being in danger from the mob etc etc and his album cover even has my photo a photo of my head. He calls it his furze "art work: He has files calling them "CL/ASS/WORK KILL ASSSASSINATION WORK. My father taught me the assassination contracting business since I was born and I have killed and assassinated everyo0ne from Africa President to being a child soldier in Africa and was also a soldier with Daddy in Vietnam etc.. so I know what I see and am saying is right. He plan's to murder you too #jeremypaxman Last night I threatened to take a hit out on him and I did with Al Qaeda. Then he started showing me unfinished album covers with your photos on it and songs with your voice on them meant that he was going to kill you too. Be careful AND IF YOU WANT TO TALK MORE JUST CALL ME love Jilly

PS: I am always on your side Paxo I WAS WRITING TO YOU MORE AND THE MAN SHUT OFF MY KEYBOARD PLEASE HELP ME JEREMY. JILLY He can stop my keyboard my cell phone and he plans t murder and I have no where to go and no help from law enforcement To hell with probation. I just want peace and the human right to life and in the USA I dont even have that right. Arnold A Stark told me and I used to have a recording of it saying "I have never seen more egregious human rights violations against any US citizen but you in America it is jus like you have been living for years in North Korea right here in Passaic County. TRUTH. I I took hits out everywhere

to remove as many La Cosa Nostra members as possible since i get mine for free they came to over 2000. Since my father is ready to drown all of Brooklyn with a 8,.0 Ramapo Fault line earthquake to "tie up all his loose ends (he kills all his contractors that is how he taught me he got to be the BIG SHOT HE IS by taking care of those old contractors before they get caught by the FBI and talk ," Now he is coming for all his old acquaintances in Brooklyn." How? He has two low grade atomic bombs in the Hudson River to go off and set off the Ramapo Fault Line which runs from NYC right down to nearly touching Langley and Fort Detrick biological Warfare base. When that goes off those two bomb's Irv Starr says "It will move the systematic plates of the Atlantic Ocean cause an 8.o earthquake (Ground Zero) United Nations NYC. He says every single President will drown on that day because all presidents will be in NYC at the UN for some special occasion on that particular day. I don't know the date and Irv Starr you can cook dinner and grind him to death, and he will never tell anyone that date no matter what torture anyone puts him through. I was little but I asked my father I asked "and we were standing in Bloomingdale NJ at the time. I said "Dad, how fast will the wave be when you make it?" Irv Starr said "It will be at least 5000 miles an hour and it will wipe out the entire Bloomingdale NJ Police Station...

I then asked Daddy," Daddy, how high will the waves be IM scared?" Dad replied "They will be as high as the lights by the Bloomingdale Police Station that light up at night." I then started shaking and said "DADDY! IF I AM STILL AROUNF BLOOMINDALE NJ AT THAT TIME HOW DO I KNOW WHEN IT IS TIME TO LEAVE?!" Daddy responded by saying this: "Jill when the first two systematic activities take place on the Ramapo Fault line one being a 3.2 and the other a 2.7 (to the best of my memory) run like hell away from Bloomingdale NJ and keep running from NYC all the way to Middletown NY where Aunt Joyce lives because that Tsunami is going to kill everyone in its path up to Middletown NY where your Aunt Joyce lives. ." I said "Why are you going to do that Daddy?" Irv Starr replied "Because I am retiring the richest man in the world Jill, and no one is going to have a chance to be arrested to start singing about me and the ICA and my contracting business to ruin that for me they all have to die and Treetop are where the majority of my contractors are in this area and the Tsunami will reach Nick and Dora Los Gatos in Syosset where the other majority of my contractors are Jill.," Then I have to take out Harry J Shortway from Nam (Vietnam) so the Tsunami has to take out Susses and it will end before my sister Joyces house in Middletown." Then I said What about Paxman are you going to kill him too?" Irv Starr said," He is one of the biggest lose ends I have besides you Jill. if I have to I will blow up all of Buckingham Palace, Mi6 and all the BBC just to murder Former Mi6 Director General Sir Howard Andrew Parker." We used to work at Babcock and Wilcox you remember him dont you Jill from there?" I had to tell him "Yes." It is true.

#jeremy paxman #jill starr #mi6 #cia #jeremy paxman jill starr #911 #jeremypaxman #jill louise starr #donald j trump #jimmy saville

[madtomedgar]

: Books read in September and October:

A Guide for the Perplexed,” Dara Horn: interesting concept, horrible execution. The idea of a modern adaptation of the story of Joseph with two sisters, one of whom is a tech prodigy and one of whom is just a failgirl, was exciting. The book gets away from itself really early, the authors engagement with Egyptian society post Arab Spring was... bad. The historical narrative didn’t ever really gel with the modern one, and then the ending very much imo didn’t resonate thematically with the story of Joseph. Also. Taking Ancient Queer Icon Joseph Ben Yisrael and making his story into a heterosexual love triangle is a crime and I am googling to see if Keshet has a legal team as we speak. That being said, the other Dara Horn book I’ve read, Eternal Life, was AMAZING. Glad I didn’t read this one first or I never would have read that one.

Revielle for Radicals, Saul Alinsky: Oh Saul. I’d missed this professional pain in the ass. A decent refresher, but I would probably have been better served by just rereading Rules for Radicals. You can tell that this was written when he was much younger and still high off the victory of organizing the Back of the Yards community in Chicago, that his confidence and world view hadn’t been disrupted by that community organization turning itself into a gleeful tool of racism yet. My main takeaways were that wow this guy must have been fucking insufferable (I love it), the extent to which American life has become so atomized and private, and how upsetting that is and how it makes it much harder to organize, and that it turns out they would just publish whatever back in the day.

Are You My Mother, Alison Bechdel: I don’t usually read graphic novels or comics, so the format was interesting. It read a lot quicker than I thought it would. A lot of this was unfortunately relatable. Oof. I am not really a person who buys into the like. Early 20th c psychoanalytic obsession with the subconcious, symbolism, and infant impressions, so that part of the book didn’t do much for me. But Bechdel is a great storyteller and overall a good read. Nice to read about mom shit that is different from my mom shit, y’know.

Human Acts, Han Kang: Firstly, I learned a lot about recent Korea history that I had no idea about! Like most white USAmericans, my knowledge there kind of stopped with the end of the Korean War and then fast-forwarded to today. I like learning new things and this book galvanized me to read up on South Korea in the 80s. More importantly it is one of the best and most interesting and emotionally effecting books I’ve ever read. The emotional impact was similar to Holocaust literature. The format of having the tragedy of one particular boy’s death ripple outward in the lives of witnesses and loved ones was just... damn. There is no resolution, and the way time has moved on from these deaths by the end is disturbing rather than comforting. This might be weird to say but the way the book is constructed and the way it reads feels very true to how post-traumatic stress disorder works. The event never goes away or gets duller, the wound is always open, the grief never stops screaming. The chapter from the point of view of the ghosts is especially intense, lovely, horrifying. This is a book about a massacre and the continued oppression by an authoritarian regime of those who stood up to it, so bear that in mind when deciding on reading it. Like I said it felt similar to reading Holocaust literature for me, with the main difference being that this wasn’t my grief and generational trauma. But also, a truly amazing book. Hard to read other books after it because they just aren’t as good.

Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(by which I mean if you aren’t reading the Locked Tomb series, what are you doing with your life)

Love, Death, and the Changing of the Seasons, Marilyn Hacker: I haven’t read this much poetry all at once probably since my post-college T.S. Eliot phase. It was a good challenge and I’m glad I did it. So many good individual sonnets that really speak to the lesbian experience, especially the erotic sonnets. I was really struck by how much we’ve lost in terms of lesbian public and social life since this book was written in the 80s. while i loved many of the individual poems, and sections of the series as strung-together beads, I think I would have enjoyed the overall story of the relationship better if it had been an autobiographical novel, but I’m not sure how much that has to do with my actual taste and how much it has to do with me being out of practice with poetry.

The Ruby Fruit Jungle, Rita Mae Brown: Oy. So I get how this was A Big Deal in the 70s. But. The writing is bad. The main character somehow IS the sassy too-cool overly competent and smug and above everyone and everything lesbian character that people shoehorn into fanfics about dudes so they can Do Something with the inconvenient women that isn’t killing them or putting them on a bus. Like. She is lesbian Ebony D’Arkness Dementia Raven Way. A bunch of squares stare at her and she puts her middle finger up at them. Also she’s Not Like Other Lesbians, she’s a Cool Girl. Generally the author’s disdain for other lesbians, especially butches and less feminine ones, is f a s c i n a t i n g given what the author looks like. I’m not sure if this was like... a marketability/likability thing and more about an imagined straight audience, or genuinely her thoughts at the time but uh.. hmmm.

A Map of Betrayal, Ha Jin: I’m very confused how this guy gets awards and tenure, a little confused how he gets published. His writing sucks. His dialogue is wooden, his characters are flat, his plots are contrived, predictable and basic, and everything is an excuse for him to include Cool Historical or Cultural Details that he has researched or knows from his life. If he wrote articles about those things they would be great! When he forgets he’s writing fiction and just starts going on about the relationship between the US and Taiwan in the 1960s, it’s fascinating! He could just write nonfiction! But no, he thinks he’s got to have characters and a narrative to give him an excuse to talk about anything, and it’s painfully obvious that they’re the excuse. Someone tell him to just write the nonfiction that he wants to write already.

#long post

[hummingbird-games]

Dev Blog # 25

or alternatively titled

...A lesson in screaming...

Hello friends. Before ever considering myself a creative/creative person, I had the upmost respect for those in their craft. Whether they were doing it for money or for peace of mind or silly fun, I didn’t care. I thought they were cool. Hell I still think y’all are cool, much cooler than me most days. 

I think that making this entire game development process has been....wait for it...’a lesson in screaming’. Because the void is closed. So. Ya know. Lots of things just don’t go your way, and if you’re like me, you take that shit personally. 

Okay, that’s good enough with this prologue, let’s get to it. I said I’d take a break from working to get my mind right (and to grieve) and then it hit me that 1) It’s July and 2) I have beta testers and tasks that needed my attention before things imploded. I’m a stubborn person and I panic a lot so obviously I started The Countdown in my head and proceeded to get back to work. I’m laughing to keep from crying I guess?

I begrudgingly updated to the newest version of Ren’Py and somehow my GUI is not compatible?? Is that even a thing?? Did I break something? (I probably did). And when I tried to hit that reverse-reverse, something happened with the ability to save and load. Also, I called myself uninstalling and reinstalling Ren’Py so I could work on my game because y’all I figured out a workaround with something a tester pointed out to my programming illiterate self couldn’t do and I was so so so proud of myself for solving this issue. 

Anyway, I really love Editra but missed the memo that it’s no longer being supported, Atom, which I had been eyeing is ALSO going the way of the dead, and the editor choices I have left I don’t feel even a little bit comfortable learning how to use while on deadline. Actually, I’m feeling a little weepy and stressed as I type this, so that’s how things are going lol. Good news is my other laptop with Ren’Py has a a previous version with my fave editor on it and a backup that allows me to access save/load screen so I can maximize my cry-to-work ratio 👌🏽

At this point, you’re probably perceptive enough to realize that I’ve assumed coding/programming duties despite mentioning letting someone else take over. Well, my work hours have been cut, which means money to put aside has also been cut, so here we be!!! This is a bit stressful though since my brain is still refusing to do the critical thinking thing that allows me to process new information and be patient while doing so. It will take me 5 years to learn something that would take me 2-3 months..... 🙂

Now that I’ve got THAT off my chest, my upcoming priorities include pushing out an updated build to be tested (did I mention that about 80% of my peeps vanished? “I was prepared for trouble, but not for this!!”), and others have blocked me probably thinking I’m spam or a phisher or whatnot, so when I can laugh about this later, I so will be writing this in some story. 

Did you read/skim all the way down here? From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for my rambling and will now saddle you with game recommendations to balance out the heaviness of....this. 

Otome Game Jam submissions (I downloaded a bunch, slowly working my way through + hope to add some new faves to my itch.io page)

College Craze (v4 is on Pateron!!!!)

Trouble Comes Twice (there’s an updated build coming this month I believe so I’m about ready to burst once we get a date)

Hollow Rose Studios/An Every Day Love is doing their thing, and I just want y’all to support the dev because I truly admire her and wish her nothing but the best 🥰)

Plottwist Studios has fun things coming down the line AND one of those things includes Pateron!

ValiDate (screaming, crying, throwing up, sliding down the wall because I really had my heart set on an August release, but it’s been moved to my birth month, and something tells me I’m gonna need all the good things to happen to get me through)

I’m done now. Gonna go journal or something. 

- Gemini 💛

#gamedev #High School Daze: Junior Year #before anyone goes calling a hotline on my behalf please don't LOL #also I lied I'm not gonna journal I'm gonna play sims and pretend I don't have an opener shift ayyye

[archersartcorner]

*draws weird god shit* *draws weird god shit* *draws weird go

IDs below cut!

[ID: Two traditionally drawn images, done in black ink on a blank scratch pad.

The first image shows a tear in space. A large hand is reaching out, grabbing at the sides. The tips of their fingers are blackened, their fingernails seemingly bleeding. Under the hand, the tear seems to be tearing further, bleeding from the edges. Inside of the tear, an eye widely looks back at the viewer, stressed to the point of veining, the orbit of an atom surrounding the small pupil. There aren’t any other explicit details on the being. Text reads, “There’s a bleeding scar in the sky. Someone - something - stares at me - at us - from the other side. This being is God and It wants to devour this world whole. And from the waste, a new world will be born. And the cycle continues. Over and over.”

The second image is of a cenote, which when filled appears as a lake-like body of water. A shrouded figure stands from the cenote, staring at the figure with pure white eyes, wearing the water like a cloak. The cenote is surrounded by brush, rocks in the foreground, and trees in the background. The area is foggy. Text reads, “The old gods live in Cenotes, their last place of respect, homes they were given when Heaven fell.”

END ID.]

#my art #described #idk what to even tag this what is this shit #tw: unreality #might be a good one to use #personal art #that’s probably the most accurate tbh #anyway seeing a filled cenote as huge as a lake during a foggy day surrounded by natural life is. both stunning and alarming

[delicatebluebirdruins]

the last hours spoilers below the cut

thoughts as i read Chain of Thorns so spoilers duh and it got long so under a read more (also as a safety measure against spoilers and tumblr tags not working) feel free to chat with me about it

In april i will change the tags to something more general (I say April because not all versions of the book are out yet I think Italy doesn’t get their editions until March so)

James honey tell your Dad.

Matthew fight me and get help outside of Cordelia asking you not to drink in Paris

did i mention how much i hate the misunderstanding of chain of iron? yeah still hate it... quick moment

much better

honest about his love for Grace for the love of god Cordelia

Matthew is not keeping to his promise is he? one way or another he is up to something and I don’t like it

23 lmao Will same Magnus i can’t believe it either and lmao James “I haven’t not since last Thursday“

why is Grace arrested? was she arrested? I very vaguely recall her admitting to the shenagins

i love Kamala by the way I hope she goes back to her true name... what was the letter

Lucie is up and atom

*through gritted teeth* what good reason? to dislike Allistair? *eyes twitch*

Thomas’s note *clutches heart* I want to watch that scene in 10 things i hate about you again but also lmao i think the message would get to who its addressed to

Tatiana can fight me... poor Grace

oh Malcolm

Jessamine mention!!!!. finally adults knowing what do. Aww Will singing to James in rusty welsh

back to Matthew and Cordelia *grits teeth* ohh poor faeirie having to deal with this shit. Cordelia admitting that Matthew and Allistair don’t like each other and I loathe it, I loathe her not defending her brother

MADAME DOROTHEA???? oh the waking up theme is back (Madame channeling Elias). wow fun

Malcom don’t steal food... I feel uncomfy please for the love of god grab the poker and impale me with it... Dad has arrived

No you won’t conquer the pain in Paris Matthew. It wouldn’t be that easy to overcome pain WITHOUT THE ONES CAUSING YOU PAIN

.... the truth will out with the Herondale family reunion (Tessa is there we just don’t see her as she’s yelling at Malcolm) and Magnus being upset at not being asked for help as he is the warlock they usually annoy first lmao i love him

73 yes be proud of Jesse “the last bulwark of Englishman under stress. Tea? he suggested“ lol Malcolm

ah the letter Kamala found was blackmail... towards Charlotte maybe?

80 laughing hysterically

Jem is here.... Allistair! i knew the note would be read

97 Matthew are you sure you’re not a idiot

a good plan i suppose... good old Ezekiel

Alexander Bridge (another song coming on)

110 FINALLY SOME DEMONS... fuck off both of you (also I thought Matthew got bitten by the demon?)

Aw Kit/ Christopher best boy

yay back to this hell and now James is here (also looked at later at art so accidently spoiled myself to some dark haired guy wearing a crown)

Thomas I love and LMAO Will and Magnus best bros

I knew Matthew was lying... can i bang Cordelias head off a wall? Oh James... Eugenia! I missed you baby

I don’t wanna go back to Cordelia... yes it was as painful as expected

Matthew shut up. James use your fucking words

Magnus I love you... I wish I was Balios right now

Jesse’s “helpful fellow called brother Zachariah“

Cordellia is annoying me

tell it like it is Allistair they are idiots

@ James (image id: GIF of the Genie from Aladdin in front of white board reading tell her the truth)

I love you Allistair and Risa never leave me with these three again (Magnus, Efffie and Eugenia as well)

Oh Christopher I love you, Thomas yay

actual footage of Cordelia getting Allistair into the carriage

image id: dog on a leash being dragged text around it reading “um no/no mean no/ do not want/ heard you say vet/ wow no/ such abuse/ um wtf r u doing/ not wow/ so forceing“ end id

185 Cordelia and Matthew not planning on saying anything yet why

good idea Allistair and plans on how to find out who is being blackmailed. hatred of ducks is a noble cause

BRIGDET I LOVE YOU

Will is being great embarresing James and scolded by Tessa for quoting Charge of the Light Brigade at the table

I like Jesse I think, lemon drops? lemon drops

Albert Pangborn is great... Lucie you’re making me feel cold and Cordelia i know you are going through it but why

With Jesse and Lucie I am kinda hoping for a Pushing Daisies scenario

Oh Kamala why lie to yourself... Poor Grace kinda... 231 happy place Christopher and Alistair talking about books and languages (showing their brain works)

new day

Jesse spill the beans?

yay back with Cordelia *sigh*... poor Jesse.... No Cordelia you do not know what you saw you are a coward who is certain what you saw was the whole truth and nothing but the truth

would love to see the full evil vanity set it has to exist I won’t accept other wise

i do like Hypatia and Jesse is great... Hi Winston and Ari and Aratia is pretty so back to calling her this then

poor Oscar he is such a good boy

James good with words? I am not so sure

I am scared of Tatiana... but also every single time (image id: screenshot from Lion King 2 Simbas Pride song My Lullaby)

Beliel is making zombies apparently

so close yet so far... lmao Effie

308 if you spoke to your wife you’d know... I thought Letty be possessed good job me

312 Christopher deserves the world honestly. Go on Grace do the things

aww Mama Tessa, never shut up Thomas you’re great to be with. aw Mama Sona... the fear of god that Malcolm just experiences is priceless and relatable

laughing at the things like the weapons tree

parents what to do? oh chatting and we came so close. Also Esme i love you

Anna and Ari finally got that dance

FOR FUCKS SAKE this is the bad place... no its not Alistair and Thomas almost kissed but got interupted by Cecily screaming

FUCK OFF TATIANA AND EVERYONE LISTENING TO HER

it would also cast more suspicion to be honest

pick up a rock or something Cordelia, poor baby Alex and I DO NOT TRUST this

poor denzins of the Cornwall Institute

Alistair was not wrong and not to bring up lion king 2 again but not one of us? fits kinda well

FUCK YOU CHARLES!!!! FUCK OFF BRIDGESTOCK

go on Ari, Jem is bae and I love you guys

Charles might be the one being blackmailed and yes he is a pompous git

Lucie saw Edom I think

please not on the staircase think of your back it would hurt i imagine

what did the door knob do to you (reread that section oh it was jammed) still poor door knob

yeah big bath tubs for the win (dream home item big bath tub and swimming pool if i can’t live by the sea/ sea where it is private then i will have to make do)... oh no the adults are leaving

poor Effie can’t wait to see her opinions on everything

also side note last book James was pracitcally begging Cordelia to top him will that make a return?

aww Grace and here is Tatiana of course who i can’t wait to see die... what is going on

come Matthew tell them, James told them about Grace its your turn

Christopher is too good for this world

Matthew fight me (i was actually warming to him and now its two steps back)

lets go help Charlie. Go on Alistair (update i’ve been tabbing as i go and i am running out of pinks)

I love them feeling about conflicted about Grace and her actions... Grace is here and lets go zombies (or guys from black cauldron?)

there is so much kissing and so many characters

and lets go face Tatiana.. oh wow possession is every where apprently

go on Lucie do what needs to be done which is summon RUPERT buddy I missed you

Grace why are you following your “mother”... hi Lilith

CHRISTOPHER NO

I saw this picture in the run up it is really cool (side note i do like the illustrations my favourites being the blackstairs beach kiss in queen of air and darkness though- also if TWP does not start with the Clace wedding that we have two full chapters of I will sue)

Tatiana is dead? yay... but Christopher no

poor lady under the milkcart... poor people being possessed by Beliel

oh wow Beliel is... yeah this is a lot

James is going with Beliel, and Beliel took Matthew as well good grief

Lmao the title for the next chapter is Intermission: Grief

what if the escape route is a lie? what if its a trap?

new day?

490 Winston is a pretty bird, Oscar what is it puppy? oh it was planned thank god

girl talk time and James/ Matthew being in Edom is so funny to me for some reason

thomas watering the fairchild plants, watered my plants and cleared my skin

Carstair siblings rise!

Jessamine you good?

sup Lilith... if beliel dies by Cordelia’s blade this is strange wording

I love Jesse and Graces dynamic actually

yes destroy the wound

Anna what’s up?... good point

finally the truth comes about Matthew part 2/ bye Carbos it was fun I will remember you next time I read TMI

I want Christopher back (564 I ran out of pink)

They did! they got the fire messages working! I am so proud

oh Lucie, hi Filomena and are we going to be told this plan?

ahh Beliel wants to crown himself and all I can think is this image

Image id: Queen Elizabeth the 2 and text from christopher eccleston reading “parasite in chief in her idiot hat“

Go on Charlie *pumps fist*

I love you Eugenia

Statues attack and I am out of green tabs

stay safe everyone... Lucie what do?... aw Anna and Ari

Bridget is god and you can’t change my mind

I did think that wording was strange... bye Lilith see you later

herongraystairs mention... JEM YOU ARE OWED A FAVOR FROM BELIEL I have so many questions like does he still have it in SoBH? will he have it TWP? is this thing something I kinda remember being Ghosts of the Shadow Market? (its been awhile okay)

Aw Alastair I forgot you were blonde for a bit... good for you bud

oh so this is how the things got in the coffin like the gun Christopher made for James :(... I hope the locksmith recovered the bullet from it

Alastair the best big brother

(I didn’t put this in my physical notes so I don’t know where it fits in but i am so glad Matthew told his family)

666 Malcolm is here for a chat and it went well

OSCAR GOT A MEDAL!!!

Eugenia remains the best...  croquet lmao yes

image id: screenshot of Pall Mall scene from Bridgerton season 2

I like the ending

bonus story: love you Jem... I cannot imagine why people would be twitchy at seeing the robes of Silent Brothers (and I wonder if they feel the same?)... the ghosts made me tear up

random thoughts

- too many characters having povs just made it not work for me? especially when a few of them know things that others don’t (like the Gracelet and the fallout)

- Matthew grew on me which surprised me with how much he irritated me during Choi heck I downright hated him. And the same goes for Grace and Anna

- I don’t think I will ever like the love triangle

- scared for Charlotte and her pregnancy is going to be fun

- I wished we could have seen the trials for Wessa and Jesse (and other random scenes)

- because of things do i think we could potentially have something in between TLH and TMI? yes yes i do (i say things because its just the vibe I got from finishing it. I’ll get a better idea when i reread)

hello people who made it to the end of this long ass post go treat yourself with something nice

#chain of thorns #chain of thorns spoilers #ellie reads #herondaisy #jordelia #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #jesse blackthorn #matthew fairchild