If I start off something off with âanother thingâ or âone thingâ just know Iâm about to rant on heređđđ©đ©đđ & on that noteâŠbuckle up because this is a long one.
It absolutely baffles me that Feyre throughout ACOSF shows ZERO initiative or indication on wanting to know as much as she can about her baby/pregnancy, sheâs a FIRST TIME MOTHER-TO-BE & this girl shows not a single ounce of âfirst-time-mom syndromeâ Feyreâs lack of care towards her & her babyâs wellbeing whilst pregnant is to me absolutely diabolical & insane.
What I mean by this is at not one point has it ever been established that Feyre showed the initiative to get 2nd & maybe even 3rd opinions from different midwives/healers or even Illyrian mothers & find out information for herself about her son & her own health during pregnancy, I donât know what wtf SJM was thinking making Feyre completely & utterly dependent on Rhysand relaying information or even Madja for that matter, it completely blows my mind that SJMâs thought process for Feyre throughout this whole ordeal was to make her so vulnerable that she shouldnât even be aware that her own baby would likely kill her during the delivery.
I can 100% understand that Feyre wants to enjoy the pregnancy & be âin the momentâ with the pregnancy experience but what I canât grapple with is Feyre being so content & uncaring to find out all the information she can about having an Illyrian baby/baby with wings, like she was told directly by Madja that the delivery would be difficult & from that as far as we all know she made NO attempts to get as much info as she can to help herself & her sonâŠas a first time momâŠbeing that nonchalant?!!?!!! Like wtf?!!!
I canât understand how she can be told the labour will be difficult & not do a damn thing herself to find ways to potentially make it easier such as finding out from others aka Lucien if he knows anything about shifting whilst pregnant, why the hell didnt Rhysand or any of the others think to go to Spring & ask Tamlin if he knows anything about risks of shifting during pregnancy sinceâŠyou know shifting is HIS thing, they have no problem trespassing in Spring for secret meetings or going their to taunt an already depressed & suicidal Tamlin but when you actually need his help yet again they all suddenly get amnĂ©sia including Feyre?!!?!
To me Feyreâs inability to find things out for herself & relied on everyone else to find the information out & hope they relay it back truthfully (which in the end they did not) is not only careless but reckless too & just shows how much she wasnât ready to be a mother, unless we end up getting a POV or flashback POV of Feyreâs thoughts surrounding her pregnancy then naturally Iâll change my stance on this situation.
Also Madja needs to NEVER & I mean NEVER be allowed to be a practicing healer EVER AGAIN!! That female is absolutely disgusting & diabolical too, she as a female making a choice for Feyre in not telling her she & her baby may die & by extension Rhysand of course, I donât care if she was forbade by Rhysand what she did was absolutely disgusting, can you imagine how many other females in The Night Court have potentially lost their lives because Madja made a call that wasnât hers to make on a mother & babyâs wellbeing.
And I will stand 10 toes down behind Nesta telling Feyre the birthing dangers but I donât agree with how/the way it came out but I also understand why she in that moment she blurted it out to Feyre, it was a lose lose predicament to be in & had Feyre taken the initiative to find out more info on her pregnancy herself maybe she would have known about this already & maybe been prepared.
I really want to believe that Feyre was more involved in her own pregnancy & was showing some semblance of that first-time-mom syndrome but based off of everything we did get with ACOSF everything so far is saying she didnât, which is just so sad that even at her most vulnerable SJM chose to make Feyre even more vulnerable by purposely having her mate/husband & family keep such a thing from her & not have her act like a mom-to-be
27 notes
·
View notes
Hi, happy new year!
do you know Love Songs on the Radio by Mojave 3? it's a 90s dream pop ballad with lyrics that are so vehemently, bone-chillingly tender. super atmospheric. It reminds me of your distinctive portraying of Petemai, incredibly lovely, aches in such a way that makes you suffer without thinking because of how eloquently it communicates nearness and fragilityâŠ
just some thoughts I had while listening; wanted to recommend that song to you. (referring to the song) Miles is the symbolic "angel" in this scenario of lovers. :( so sweet, it's almost criminal.
đ Hiiiii, happy new year!!!! đ„ł
âIt reminds me of your distinctive portraying of petemai, incredibly lovely, aches in such a way that makes you suffer without thinking because of how eloquently it communicates nearness and fragility...â WTF, WTF, WTFâ HELLO???????? YOU'RE SO SWEET AND KIND!!!!! THIS IS SUCH A HIGH COMPLIMENT!!!!! IT TOUCHED ME DEEPLY TO MY CORE!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SUCH A WARM DESCRIPTION OF THEIR LOVE AND FOR ALL THE LOVELY WORDS TOO!!!!!! đđ„čđ
Omg, my goodness, y'all need to stop gassing me up 'cause a bitch is in shambles out here with all this praise.
BUT I actually don't know that song (even with how much music I listen to đ
) but before I answered this, I had it on repeat and just took it in, because it's exactly my kind of thing. The song is indeed very sweet and intimate and delicate and so so soft and gentle and unhurried and conveys such a patient and warm type of love, and the IMAGERY, and then the call-back to the way I write Miles as something gold-touched and preciousâ every part of this song could be applied to them and fit perfectly!!!!
âShe looks just like an angel, when she walks across the room. She shines tonight, her golden light is everything I need. | My friend said she's all he needs to feel alive. | Love songs on the radio, your sweetheart lies in bed. She's dreaming of the things you said, she's hoping that it's meant.â
That's so THEM!!!!!! I could vividly see Miles lying in Peter's bedâ now their bedâ naked, the blanket pooled around his hips and up his stomach, keeping him covered while he lounges around, and he's almost about to fall asleep... but he's staring at Peter who's on his side, looking right back at him, the streetlights turned into fuzzy balls of light through the fogged over windows, and there's soft music playing somewhere outside and it's perfect. They're safe and in love and nothing will ever separate them again. They're finally home where they belong. They're finally together again.
Btw, sorry it took me a while to answer this, I was in the middle of writing and then answering the other asks!!! đ
Either way, I hope you're doing well and that the new year treats you kindlyâ you deserve it!!!!
I'm glad you enjoy my portrayal of Peter and Miles as I always strive to make their relationship feel incredibly real and intimate, down to the way they talk to each other and then the way they behave around each other and what they do in their relationship, such as displays of affection between them. So I'm over the moon that you enjoyed my specific way of writing themâ hopefully you continue to enjoy the rest of TSEMSETS and stay around until the very end!!!!
I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE KIND WORDS!!!! YOU'RE SO INCREDIBLY SWEET!!!! I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO LET ME KNOW SOMETHING YOU EXPERIENCED REMINDED YOU OF MY PETER AND MILES!!!! MWAH!!!! MANY KISSES AND HUGS YOUR WAY!!!! đđ„°đđđđđ
0 notes
I introduced my mom to 5sos's music recently, she liked it and wanted to go to a concert with me. I thought that I'll pre-translate some things for her and let me tell you: explaining to my 70 y/o mom what get sauced means, without telling her what exactely will happen, was umm.. an interesting experienceđ But she had so much fun, dancing and hopping throughout the whole show!đđ
Aww, that's so fun! I'm glad you both had a good time together! đ„°
13 notes
·
View notes
Hola Meb, you're... fantastic. Mind blowing revolutionary never seen before. I have admired you as a writer long before I got to know you as a person, and back in those days I used to think of you like pre-Barça Ney probably would have thought of Leo. We're friends now, I think? But the whole starstruck vibe hasn't really gone away.
The more I say about your literature the less sufficient it feels. Your writing makes me feel... so much. I admire your craft, I aspire to be able to characterize as well as you someday, engage readers as thoroughly as you do. Even your smut makes me shed emotional tears like please cjgjfhgifhfjjvnj
And âšïžyouâšïž. You're perfect. Your texts, your crazy lores, your voice messages, and most importantly your borderline medicinal virtual hugs>>>>>>>>>
You slay so incredibly hard. Te quiero mucho, mi reina!!!
âWith aggressive forehead kisses,
One of the several little lesbians in your phone who will love you forever (GUESS WHO I AM GO ON)
Okay biiiiiiiđ€đ§ââïž
HOLA ANON MOOT!
I feel like this is @white-light-on-my-prism cause I donât know who else it could be. If it isnât you, just know Iâm pulling my hair outđđ
I donât even know how to respond to thisđđ
Iâm veryâŠI donât know conscious about my writing. So the fact that you could even be starstruck much less feel so much from my writing gives me so much strength to continue going.đ„č
And really itâs not even all that I just practice a lot and if you want to improve your writing you can try mimicking maybe? It helps a lot. Iâll explain in the commentsâșïž
And yes, once youâve heard the meb lore, weâre locked in for life. Youâre not even a friend to me. Youâre so much more than thatđ«đ
Youâre even more perfect sweetheart and I love you so so muchđ„čđ„čđ youâll always have me as your friend, in your corner, by your side and supporting you.
5 notes
·
View notes
đ« here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers!
//No pressure!! but I hope you have a good day today anyway ^v^
AAKSSJHDISSS OKAY IM GONNA ANSWER THIS FINALLY WEEWEIWIWIWIE THANK YOU SO MUCH BY THE WAY đđđ
ok so I had this thought about their physical appearances,, i think i made it obvious enough that i'm a fan of the concept of red being a little bit bulky than usual, combined with his 6'0" stature (all are my HCs) so hes like a really big bear. or.. usaring i don't know JSKSJSDHSK but yes basically that! big boy!! big pookie!!
now, now i started thinking lately what if jaide is somewhat the opposite of what red got? she's shorter and a little chubby, she buys a lot of food when she's outside and brings a lot of snacks when shes on the go and she always has a snack to offer to you if you need it :] he doesn't mind her physique and think its actually SUPER adorable - she's like a bouncy squishy ball of sunshine weeee (we'll expand on that soon)
when they're outside doing pkmn stuff together, i think jaide would beg him for a break time and he would sternly respond no, or like, "later okay?" and she would pout about it. if she saw a vending machine outside she is sure to eye on it like crazy and give him the wet dog eyes like "pookie can i get one đ„ș" and he shakes his head and drags her (or even carries her) away from the vending machine and she's uueueueing (rip babygirl)
when they're at home however, or somewhere more private (basically, anywhere where red feels more comfortable) he would do everything to grab her tummy (preferably hugging her behind and latching on her waistline WEEJDHEE) and just. ~enjoy~ her presence and whatever the heck she's talking about since she likes to talk about anything related to pkmn biology aehehue and he's savoring every bit of it :] he love his chatterbox girlfriend frfrfr
and that's it :] THANK YOU FOR THE PASS WAWAWA đđđđđđâŒïžâŒïžâŒïž
2 notes
·
View notes
now i understand why my mom was so pissed when i waited till the last minute to do my school projects đ my brother has a science fair project due next week & iâm just finding out he avoided FOUR (4) weeks of work
3 notes
·
View notes
Man like every time Eikichi does something cool I'm like, fuck yeah he's a pretty alright guy actually this is awesome, AND THEN HE IMMEDIATELY TURNS AROUND AND DOES SOMETHING SCUMMY AGAIN like bro I can't take the whiplash I keep trusting him again and then being reminded he fucking sucks
1 note
·
View note
boat ride â rafe cameron
summary: rafe making it up to you after arguing over his ex-girlfriend sofia.
warnings/notes: fluff, pogue reader but it's not like a big part of the plot, soft!rafe. genuinely think this might be the first time iâve written something that isnât sexual/suggestive for rafe đ i need help. but iâm trying to write more fluff for him :) if you have any requests please send them! <33 love u all sm. also thanks to @starkeysprincess, my baby, for giving me the idea of a cute boat date that inspired this idea in my head !!!! <3333
pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader
âi just donât get why you still need her in your phone, and why she still stays texting your phone!â you get defensive while sat in your boyfriend passenger seat. this was the second time youâd gotten in an argument over his ex-girlfriend, sofia. you trusted rafe, if you didnât you wouldnât be with him, but the thing was that; you didnât trust her. her little texts asking rafe âhow he wasâ or âif he was busy and wanted to come over', youâd had enough.
âreally? youâre going to genuinely get upset over this?â, rafe scoffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. part of him thought it was funny, only because the thought of you thinking that he wanted anyone else was humorous to him. he literally wanted to marry you, and some random ex-girlfriend in his phone was the last thing on his mind.
âyes rafe,â your eyes widened, waiting for him to say something. âyes i am.â
âsâfuckinâ stupid.â his right hand gripped the wheel, pissed off that you were so upset about his ex still being in his phone despite him always shutting her down. the thing that made you so upset about the whole situation was the fact that he let her down in the nicest ways possible. 'sorry, can't make it. maybe another time." sorry? what the fuck was he sorry for? maybe another time? does he want to see her?
âtake me home.â you give up. you couldnât be bothered to argue with him over this right now. your point always went straight over his head.
âare you serious?â
âdoes it look like iâm joking?â you pretend to scavenge for something in your purse, embarrassed that this was the second time you had to bring up this issue with rafe. did he not love you enough to just listen to you and block her?
rafe didnât say anything, but instead put his truck in drive and made his way to your house, it was a silent 10 minutes.
your argument with rafe was long gone, you didnât bring it up and neither did he. the ignorance was bliss for you, you liked to hope that after dropping you off at home and watching you silently tear up in his truck that night, that maybe he went home and blocked sofia.
you knew that wasnât what went down, but the thought of anything else happening made you sick. so, you figured never bringing it up again would be more beneficial, even though you wanted to so badly.
âwanna go for a boat ride?â rafe let his phone fall to his chest and let out a yawn, both his hands making their way up your thighs that were rested on his legs. you two had tanneyhill all to yourselves, and sitting on the living room couch both occupied in your own tiktok for you pages was how youâd spent your time so far.
âsure,â you reply softly. one thing you loved about dating a rich kook was getting to âcasuallyâ take a boat ride.
âcmon.â rafe pulled you out of your slumped position on the couch. "gotta surprise for you."
you smiled at him, wondering what the surprise could be. rafe wasn't always the best with surprises and such, but the bug smile on his made you think that maybe this time it would be different. his eagerness reminded you of a little boy on christmas.
"after you ma'lady," rafe chuckled and put his arm out, signaling for you to make your way out to the dock before him. he followed after you, "close your eyes." he took both hands and wrapped them around your face, covering your eyes.
"rafe!" you giggle. almost losing your balance, your grip onto his big arms, feeling safe when they're wrapped around you.
"hey! no peeking."
"i cant! with your big ass hands in my face!" the huge grin on your voice could be heard just through your voice.
"m'kay, ready?" rafe gets closer to you, his chest pressed up against back, he leaves a kiss on your ear.
"yes!" you couldn't contain your excitement anymore, you needed to know what your boyfriend had planned for you.
rafe dropped his hands from your eyes, but you kept one arm wrapped around his, not wanting to let go of him.
you were speechless. the string lights set up perfectly, complimenting the pink and blue sky, the wicker basket filled with all your favorite snacks, the white blanket laid across the floor of the boat, the pink and red (your favorite colors) colored gift boxes set up neatly, just waiting for you to open them.
no one had ever done anything like this for you before, tears welt up in your eyes, you buried yourself in rafe's chest, leaving a few tear stains on his grey t-shirt.
"i love you baby," rafe gave you a quick peck on the head. your tears and reaction almost getting a reaction out of him. seeing you with the biggest grin on your face had rafe literally doing cartwheels in his head. he swore he'd never love someone as much as he loved you, but there he was, spending all his money and time trying to make you happy.
"all this for me rafey?" you looked up at him with teary eyes. puckering your lips, waiting for him to give you a kiss, he does of course.
"well who else would it be for?"
rafe's ego would never let himself admit that this was all because he felt bad for arguing over his ex-girlfriend, but you knew it was. rafe had a soft spot for you and you loved it.
"i love you rafe."
1K notes
·
View notes
never say sorry -sub!art donaldson x fem!reader smut
notes- this was literally supposed to be super short but i got carried away cause i am a whore (and proud of it)
cw- art is a little insecure:( , mentions of him having sex with tashi before (NO TASHI SLANDER I LOVE MY GIRL BUT IT'S FOR THE PLOTđ) , he cums prematurely (like...really..) art's a whiny little slut, art keeps calling reader love ( i got a thing for that pet name sorry y'all) , reader calls art 'artie' once cus it's cute&idc.
thinking about art constantly apologizing while having sex :( like ur unzipping his pants and he's already bucking his hips up into your hand, and then immediately muttering "sorry":(( my babyyy
so at first you think that okay, whatever, it's just something that slips out
but then he does it SO many times that you're actually starting to be concerned
like, you're giving him head and he moans a little too loudly- he's apologizing again. while kissing, you pull back for air and he still follows you, mouth half-open, wanting more - but then he realizes and he apologizes again.
but one time he really caught you off guard-
it had been a long day for him, spending almost all day training for his upcoming match. he barely had any time to rest, so he comes back to his dorm, taking off his shirt and pants, getting into bed with you only with his baby-blue boxer briefs on.
he kisses you. he's so fucking tired, but he still kisses you. 'cause he needs you, especially after the day he just had. you could feel his hard cock, practically begging you to take his boxers off.
"please love, wanna see you" he says while tugging at your top, watery eyes glistening with tears waiting to be spilled.
you take it off and unclasp your bra, little whimpers leaving his lips at the sight of you over him, with your tits out. you would love to take your time with him, really. to hear him beg and plead for you. but he's so eager, and so polite about it too- you just can't do that to him right now. so when you take off his boxers, his cock immediately jumps up, slapping his lower abdomen, right over his strawberry-blond happy trail.
"aww baby, look at you. you're so pretty aren't you?" you smile down at him, admiring how his legs shake slightly at every word you say. "hmm? aren't you?" you repeat. "mmghn- yeah, i- uhh i am" he says, eyes almost rolling back from the lack of touch. "you're what? say it." he sighs. you do this a lot. 'self love is important' you usually tell him- but not now. not when his dick is out, aching and leaking and begging to be touched. but just for the sake of it- just because he wants to please you, he says it. "i'm pretty"
"good boy," you coo, finally bringing a finger down to his cock, only to circle his pink, wet tip. and with that, he loses it. his mind goes blank, and he can't help it- all the waiting, the anticipating made him lose control of his body. he really didn't want to cum, he wanted to be good for you, but you were just so hot, he couldn't hold back. so immediately after his white, thick and warm liquid lands partially on his stomach and a bit on your hand, he starts babbling out apologies.
"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry love, please don't be mad, please- i'll clean up after myself- oh my god i'm so sorry-" he was so obviously tired, he could barely make up the words, yet he still continued apologizing. until you cut him off.
"art, baby- you dont need to apologize to me! what's up with this" you ask, softly. "you know i love making you feel good. and it's even better when i get feedback like this" you giggle. his cheeks turn bright pink as he covers his face.
"but i literally came the second you touched me" he mumbles, shyly.
you kiss his shoulder, smiling. "and it was hot."
"i- I don't know how to explain it to you, love- i just don't want to disappoint you. tashi used to hate it when i did any of this, she hated hearing me, and stuff like that- sometimes it made me feel like i was an object to her or something, y-you know? she'd get mad at me, and uh- it wasn't great."
"oh." you could actually feel your heart breaking for the boy. he was so sweet, he never deserved any of that. "well i'm not tashi, and i definitely won't get mad at you for anything like that. i like hearing you, and believe it or not, this was really fucking hot. you're letting me know i'm making you feel good. what's wrong with that?"
"just don't wanna upset you." art shrugs.
"i promise you artie, you could never upset me." you peck his lips and he smiles. "now let's clean you up"
2K notes
·
View notes
HEART DEFENDERââââââ
ౚà§âž»niki x fem!reader
âž» synopsis, Nishimura Riki was truly and honestly, your sworn enemy, and everyone knew. You two shared lots of things, a friend group, academic rivalry, and most importantly school popularity. Receiving tons of confessions and notes on the daily from your fanboys and fangirls was nothing new. So you can't help but be shocked when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend for that same reason.
genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, highschool au
pairing: popular-footballplayer!niki x popular-fem!reader
wordcount: 11.5k !
tags: underage drinking, foul language/swearing, niki is an asshole, own characters included, y/n and niki are unrealistically popular but bare with me pls, jay is called a pervertđ, kissing
authors note! this was written for my beautiful babygirl , and it was also her idea so props to my pookie yall!!!đ also no proof read so sorry for any errors!!
A GENTLE HEAT falls onto the silk bed sheets, as a flickering blue light washes over the room, a sound waking you up from the dreamy state. You still had a hard time settling into the new reality that eloped you just a few days back. The summer was over, and so weâre all the exciting things you hadnât been able to do.Â
Although you didnât mind, it brought you comfort to keep your body and mind active. You donât like to mull over the fact that something is over, because that never brought it back, choosing to focus on every minute that was yet to come.Â
Maybe that was exactly the reason youâve become so popular amongst the male population of Alpine High-school, students swooning over your exquisite beauty, tall, well proportioned figure and beautiful mind. Some looks were only hungry for popularity and full of lust, but amongst all, you also found people who truly wanted to know you, and find out what was underneath the pretty shell.Â
Some would call it cliche, to only stick around people who held the same status as you, or shared a similar popularity rank, but you truly never intended for that. Having two of the most popular students in one team, automatically makes the entirety of the group more desirable and unattainable. You never had control over any of these things, but youâd also be lying if you said it didnât make you feel even more special.Â
Your phone vibrates, Song Eunseokâs name displayed on the screen, messages filling up your home screen every second. You smile lightly and press one of them to shoot him a quick reply, preventing him from spamming you with keyboard smashes.Â
Song Eunseok was one of your best-friends. He was there when others werenât, and he was always the one to help you endure any pain in life. He was like a bandaid, keeping you safe from any infectious disease but also helping ease the pain, even if it didnât feel like it at first. The affection in his tone, his words glowing with secrecy and honesty every time he spoke to you, thatâs exactly what made him so notable to your heart.Â
Kim Hana was also one of those people to you. Eunseok was good to you, but heâd never be able to substitute for a girl best-friend. You never treated Hana as a second option though. She wasnât even a month older than you, but wiser than most. Hana always knew what to say or do, she was like a compass to you. You knew you could never lose her, or else you wouldnât know which direction to walk towards. Still, behind the smart and intellectual facade, was a joyful and bright girl, who had the most infectious laugh you knew. Her smile was adorable and words of affection- comforting.Â
Park Sunghoon was also a member of your clique, recruited by Jake who swam alongside him on the schoolâs swimming team. Youâve never been really close to him, he was more of a friend to you when others were around. That didnât mean you didnât care for him though. Sunghoon was different, he was very secretive and smart. He didnât ever try, but always succeeded. He wasnât flashy about it either, keeping most of his success to himself.Â
Jake, who recruited Sunghoon, used to be your best-friend. You grew up with him, just like in every childhood best-friends movie, the two of you did everything together. Just like you, he moved out of his home country in his early years, which was one of the many things you had in common and could empathize about. You decided to go to the same highschool, following the promise you made in 4th grade; that youâll always stick together. The reciprocation brought you a feeling of comfort and safety, at first you didnât mind when he started getting closer with Nishimura Riki because you trusted him. You trusted him enough, and turned a blind eye enough until your once best friend wasnât yours anymore.Â
You tried to ignore the low pain it gave you, small weebs formed in your mind as you tried to justify Jakeâs behavior, arguing that he still speaks to you so kindly. You were still in the same group together, spending most of your days together and laughing sweetly at the smallest things. But instead of calling you, heâd call Niki, instead of hanging out with you on the weekends, heâd hang out with Niki and instead of inviting you as his plus one to events, heâd invite Niki.Â
Thatâs exactly why you hated Nishimura Riki, the last member of the seemingly âpopular kidâ clique you formed.Â
Niki was equally attractive and popular as you. He embodied a typical, bookish bad-boy character, the smitten look on his face winning girls hearts over every time. He was also a member of the football team, already earning a full ride scholarship for his sports successes. He was already an intelligent boy, but a free entry to college was nothing heâd deny. He was vastly athletic, but always dreamed of going to university. Niki may not have looked the part, but he truly was much more ambitious than many would guess.Â
He didnât have many reasons to hate you, but the sole fact that you were unbeatable, the first rank in school always alongside your name. He always stood proudly next to you on class president election day, but always ended up getting hurt when once again, you were chosen. Everyone loved you and even though he had his fair share of fans, he could never compare.Â
So the satisfaction that taking away your best-friend from you brought him, was enough to console his damaged pride. It was enough to compensate for his stolen spotlight.Â
You both had reasons to hate each other, and never even considered talking it out, even if you shared a friend group. Passive aggressive comments, and sarcastic remarks were enough to satisfy yours and Nikiâs mind.Â
___________
Niki, with his fair share of popularity, couldnât get away from constant love letters clogging up his locker, or girls' heartfelt love confessions. With the face of an angel and skills of a child prodigy, it was inevitable in some way. Those same girls were the reason for his incredibly and annoyingly large ego.Â
âNiki!â the brunette caught his attention with her squeaky and high pitched voice.Â
He turned around to catch a glimpse at her, only to find her with a pink glittery box in hand. Niki could sense another thought out, insanely touching confession coming his way.Â
âDo I know you?â he asked, trying his best to not make a rude face at the girl. At the end of the day he was the it-boy at his high-school, and had an image to upkeep.Â
âYou could get to know me. We have chemistry together!â she replied happily, completely neglecting the fact that his reply itself was a bit rude to begin with.Â
âIs that supposed to be some sort of pickup line?â Niki chuckled, running a hand through his hair as his shoulder fell to his right. He leaned on the lockers trying to remember the girl he was speaking to.Â
She pulls at the fabric of his blazer, a frisky look on her face âIt could be if you want it to beâÂ
He felt his body tensing up, a wave of uncomfort speeding through his veins. He was used to girls shoving themselves onto him, but why couldnât he be viewed as an equal to them? Just because he has stolen many women's hearts, didnât mean he didnât want to be treated with dignity and respect.Â
He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as the unknown girl pushed her body closer and closer. His white shirt started to suffocate him, feeling the box she had in her hands press against his stomach.Â
He could barely read the name Oh Jia off the girl's name tag, before backing away, making her stumble a little bit.Â
âDonât you think youâre getting a little too comfortable, Jia?â he asked.Â
She took a deep breath. She thinks of the many nights sheâd seen the boy infront of her standing proudly with a confident smile as he pulls her closer to his body. She is taken aback by the difference, wondering how she could've gotten so easily deceived by her own head to fall for such a fabricated version of Nishimura Riki, She had swooned over the cover, just like many girls before and after her.Â
This was one of the many daily confessions the boy would receive. Some happened to be much more friendly and cute, even making Nikiâs heart a little warmer. Some students just liked to test his limits, see how easy he can actually be. He hated that. He hated not being treated like a human being but rather a school attraction they all got to take turns trying out.Â
Although you were sworn enemies, the similarity between yours and Nikiâs experience love wise, was undeniable.Â
âWhat is my pretty girl doing all alone? Where did all your friends go?â Hyunsik, a member of the student council, asked with a flirtatious tone stopping you from getting to your history class.Â
âYours?â you questioned with a calm voice, having an idea of who Hyunsik was.Â
He smiled, wondering why you always played so hard to get. He was gorgeous, so what was your problem to just give into his warm embrace?Â
âDonât be like thatâ he answered, using his hand to push a strand of loose hair behind your ear.Â
You felt so incredibly uncomfortable. You had known Hyunsik for some time now, as the class president you did have to consult on important issues with him.Â
âWhat do you mean, Hyunsik?â you asked, a wonky smile on your face as you tried to give the boy a sign that you weren't interested in him.Â
âYou know what I mean. C'mon Y/n, you donât have to play so hard to get. We could have fun, Iâd make you feel so good and happyâ he confessed, his stance radiating confidence which was unbreakable.Â
He was attractive, but his personality and ego completely erased any chances of scoring a date with you or many other girls.Â
âIâm interested in someone elseâ you answered, backing away from him.Â
âYou always say that, yet you're still singleâ he said, offended by your relectuance.Â
âI donât think thatâs any of your business though, Hyunsik. I have to go nowâ you said, not letting him say anything else.Â
This wasn't the first time boyâs just assumed youâd be easy like that. Just like Niki, you hated it. You didn't mind the confessions, as long as they were kept cute and respectful. You hated being mean, and these situations just forced it out of you.Â
__________Â
âWhy donât we call Minjun over here, youâve been hanging out with him a lot, right?â Hana asked, turning to you. She shuffles to grab her phone, but you stop her.Â
Niki rolled his eyes at her words, not in the mood to stubbornly try to keep a civil conversation with Minjun. Kim Minjun was a member of the football team, and the number two placeholder in school. He really was handsome- slim face and a defined jawline, dark thick hair, eyebrows not touched once but seemingly shaped by Aphrodite herself, captivating siren eyes that made you fear eye contact, and lastly plump cherry lips. You could go on about Minjunâs beauty for days and not get bored of the topic.Â
He notoriously fought with Niki for the team captain position, and although never achieved it, still managed to be disliked by Niki. They had a visible rivalry. While Niki tried to beat Minjun for second place, Minjun tried to beat Niki for the team captain spot. The passive aggressive remarks only made it worse, but for the sake of the team they kept, or at least tried to keep it civil.Â
It reminded you of your friend group. You always tried your best to hide your deep rooted hatred for Niki around everyone, for the sake of their peace. The difference was that Niki never tried. He couldnât bear a minute without making a sneaky and rude comment towards you. In some way it made you feel better about yourself, knowing that you're mature enough to not bother your friends with your private issues.Â
âHeâs probably with the teamâ you answered, and she pouted at your response.
âHe wouldnât want to sit with Miss Perfect here, anywaysâ Niki snickered, poking at his lunch uninterested in what he saw on the metal tray. The pork cutlet seemed awfully indigestible today.Â
âI think youâre more so the problemâ Hana defended, knowing you wouldnât probably respond to him.Â
âItâs not like Minjun is perfect, c'mon. Heâs an annoying, selfious fuckboyâ Jake said, in an attempt to clear Nikiâs name.Â
But why couldnât he defend you? Did he really dislike you that much?Â
âHe really isnât thoughâ you responded, and Jake seemed taken aback by your change in demeanor.Â
It almost looked like he felt entitled to say anything, but you had no right to respond to him unless you werenât agreeing with him. Maybe that was what was left after your friendship of 10 years, the entitlement.Â
âOf course youâd say that, because you probably want him like all his other fangirlsâ Niki smirked, and pushed away his tray.Â
âDude, leave it. Can we just have a peaceful lunch period for once?â Sunghoon spoke up, looking up from his English notes.Â
He usually never said anything whenever these tense situations happened. Sunghoon kept quiet, listening in on the meaningless words leaving your mouths.Â
âIâm gonna goâ you rose from your chair, and picked up all your things. Hana tried to stop you, but her attempts were useless, as you gave her a small smile and left the table.Â
âWell, I will too thenâ Niki announced trailing right after you.Â
He walked towards you, a stupid look displayed on his face. You hated that you didnât have any power over him, letting him treat you like this for no good reason.Â
âIf you want to continue telling me how awful Minjun is, I really suggest you leave it, cause Iâm not going to change my mindâ you turned to him, as he stopped next to you by the lockers.Â
âI just want to get some books from my locker, canât I?â he tilted his head, and smirked evilly when he saw your annoyed look.Â
Another thing you hated was having a locker right next to his. Whoever assigned them, must truly despise you. Or potentially pray for your downfall.
He just scoffed at your lack of interest, and started to rummage through his pocket for the small key to his locker.Â
As soon as both of your locker doors opened, a swarm of notes and pink, red or purple little envelopes fell out. Some were cutely decorated, with adorable glittery stickers, some just a simple paper ripped out of the author's notebook.Â
You two looked at each other confused. You knew Niki was popular, and Niki knew you were popular, but not to this extent.Â
It wasnât an issue, for a long time, but as comical as it sounded this was starting to get annoying pretty quickly. Sometimes the both of you wondered what made you so special, what made you stand out so much. Was it the academic success that no other student seemed to achieve yet? Maybe it was the physical tasks that you conquered without breaking a sweat? Or was it just your appearance that was unique among all?Â
His mind was rushing, but one idea came out on top of the bubble of thoughts.Â
______Â
âYouâve got to be kidding me, Nikiâ you laughed at his absurd idea, wondering if Jake is somewhere recording this secretly.Â
Niki canât yet tell if youâll buy it or not. The silence sinks into his skin, as the imprisoning walls surrounding you seem to close on him. Did he really just say that out loud?Â
âListen, we can just pretend to un-hate each other or something, and then date. Itâs all fake, obviously. Do you think Iâd want someone like you to be my girlfriend?â he responds. âWe canât tell anyone thoughâÂ
âI donât think thatâs a good ideaâ you mumble, and he chuckles.Â
âOh please donât tell me this is about Minjun?âÂ
You look at him annoyed. Why does he suddenly care so much about your relationship with Kim Minjun?Â
 âAnd what if it is?â you roll your eyes, turning away from his tall figure.Â
âHe doesnât care about you, Y/n. Canât you just agree, we both get something out of itâ he says, exasperated.Â
He reaches for your small shoulder, turning your body in his direction. He holds you while silence embraces the both of you. The sun subtly shines through the small window of the equipment room, illuminating his face, a sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you.Â
âWhat is in it for me?â you ask quietly, the moment between the two of you, making your heart beat faster.Â
Niki softens at the concern in your tone.Â
He knew you liked Minjun, everyone did, but this much? Did you really care for that douchebag? Did you lay on your bed at night, your thoughts always coming back to Kim Minjun? What did he do to steal your cold heart so easily?Â
âAn empty locker, thatâs for sureâ he lets go of you âAnd assholes like Hyunsik wonât annoy you anymore, isnât that enough?â he adds, his tone laced with confidence.Â
âYou know about Hyunsik?â you ask curiously.Â
He stifles a sharp inhale, realization hitting him.Â
Did you think he cares? He doesnât. He couldnât care less.Â
He tries to calm his unsteady nerves, preventing himself from saying anything that could damage his uninterested approach to your person even more.Â
âEunseok told me,â he answered quickly, his gaze turning to the small window.Â
You never told Eunseok.Â
You never told anyone cause this wasnât something abnormal. Yes, maybe Hyunsik was a bit forward about it, pushing himself onto you, but you just forgot about it after some time.Â
âAlrightâ you clear your throat âLetâs do itâÂ
Niki feels an unfamiliar warmth in his heart, trying to stifle the excitement that took over his body when he heard your words.Â
âBut what about our friends, Niki? Do you seriously think Sunghoon or Jake are that stupid?â you askÂ
It floods him again; the comfort of his name passing your lips, and he doesnât know why. Heâs never felt this way.Â
âHana is a hopeless romantic, sheâll believe anything if you slap a âboyfriendâ label on it. Eunseok and Sunghoon don't care anyway, and Jake? Iâll figure it outâ he answers, his voice so calm âEveryone else will just believe it as long as we make it believableâ he proceeds cautiously, putting emphasis on the âweâ. Â
âI donât get not telling our friends, honestlyâ you murmured, looking around the room.Â
He sighed âNo offense to Hana, but sheâs the biggest blabbermouth I knowâ he confesses.Â
You agree internally, not wanting to admit it, too proud of your friendship with the girl.Â
âIâll pick you up tomorrowâ he says after a moment of tranquility, leaving the room after he finishes his sentence.Â
You watch him step out and leave you alone with all the thoughts and worries.Â
______
And so he did pick you up.Â
You wondered if Niki had cleaned up his car for you, remembering the mess last time you were in it. Probably not though.Â
âLetâs go,â he said, keeping the door open for you.Â
He grabbed your hand tightly, pulling through the crowd of students gathered in front of the building. Some had a stupid look on their face, wondering how the two of you could ever be dating, some didnât even budge.Â
Your chest swells with a torment of emotions, as you feel his warm, wrought hand grip yours. Pride, confusion, determination swarm through your veins, making a mess of your head. You press your knuckles to the warmth of your cheek, flustered by the looks you were receiving.Â
Your eyes scan the whole building, trying to find Minjun, worried what heâd say when he finds out. You never wanted him to think you were just playing with him, and by the looks of it, thatâs exactly what he was thinking when his eyes spotted yours.Â
A sad look of disappointment decorated his face, as you passed by, holding Nishimura Rikiâs hand so tightly.Â
You screw your eyes shut, chest rising and falling rapidly. You want to tell him everything, you know you could. But there was a boundary you promised to not cross, for yours and Nikiâs peace.Â
âThis is bullshitâ Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, as the two of you appear in front of all your friends.Â
âThe assignment you wrote for my physics class was bullshit, and I didnât say anything. This-â he says pointing to your intertwined hands âThis is for real, the real dealâ he adds proudly.Â
How long has he been acting?Â
âWhen did all of this happen?â Hana asks excitedly.Â
You didnât like agreeing with Niki, and even though it was sad to a degree, Hana really was gullible.Â
You smile âWe just started talking, I guess. It really happened naturallyâÂ
How long have you been acting?Â
âBut werenât you just fighting last week? And I thought you had a thing for Minjun?â Eunseok asked. He wasnât supposed to care.Â
âNo, no, Minjun is just a friendâ you answer after a moment.Â
Niki was surprised at your lack of hesitation, no signs of nervousness.Â
âWell congrats then. Iâm happy for you guysâ Jake smiled, and his acknowledgment meant the world to you.Â
You couldnât not care for him after all this time spent together. You wished you didnât care about what he thought, what he was up to, because it was no longer your place to ask or wonder.Â
âI hope Minjun doesnât feel sadâ Hana ponders, her soft heart melting for the boy.Â
You laugh at her kindness, but deep down you know sheâs right âI doubt. I think I made it clear to him that Iâm not interestedâ you reply in an attempt to calm her nerves.Â
âI hope so, heâs really a good guyâ she mumbles, a look of frustration on her face.Â
You wonder why.Â
âHe isnât but whateverâ Niki professes, a disgusted tone lacing his voice.Â
Eunseok laughs âOne day anniversary and heâs already jealousâÂ
You never expected them to be so gullible, to fall for such a fabricated lie, but here they were laughing and making jokes about the two of you. It was hard to lie to your friends, especially Eunseok and Hana, but something in your head kept convincing you that this was indeed a good idea.Â
âYou shouldâve made a big reveal at the gameâ Hana acknowledges, a sweet smile on her face as she imagines herself in your position. âOur school would win, everyone cheering you on and then boom- you run up to Y/nnie and kiss herâ she tells, a twinkle to her eyes.Â
Niki laughs, and this time it seems genuine. He likes the thought of that, but canât quite figure out why. Air is taken out of his lungs as he imagines carefully taking your jaw in one hand, and pressing a sweet kiss to your soft lips, as everyone cheers him on for leading the team to yet another victory.Â
He canât be thinking straight.Â
âThatâs a little bizarre donât you think?â Sunghoon asks Hana, remembering watching something similar with the girl.Â
Hana shakes her head, and he just chuckles at her persistence âIâm just giving him ideas, subtlyâÂ
âVery subtleâ Niki answers, and she winks at him.Â
âAre we still on for the after party at yours?â Eunseok asks, turning his head towards Jake who seems to be totally out of it, as he hurriedly copies Sunghoon's chemistry homework.Â
âYeah, yeah. No matter if we winâ he mumbles, devoted to a completely different world at the moment.Â
A small smile forms on your face. You would definitely hold Niki tight, making sure no girl pulls him out of your grasp for a quick seven minutes in heaven. Itâs all fake, though. Nothing more than just a pact between two sworn enemies who want a little more peace in their life.Â
âEven if we lose, we still need to celebrate a good gameâ Niki smiles, and Eunseok smiles at his attitude.Â
âWith a captain like you my guy, we ainât never losingâ Eunseok winks at Niki, receiving a small laugh and bow from the boy.Â
You felt guilty. This was the first time in a while when everything felt so gratifying and free amongst your friend group. With the constant fighting and teasing you never seemed to notice the charming dynamic between everyone. It felt like all along the both of you were the problem, and maybe your friends accepted this suspicious relationship so quickly, because it meant they got to experience moments like this once again.Â
âWhat do these fucking hieroglifs say, I canât decipher this shitâ Jake grunts with frustration, as he pulls the notebook closer.Â
Sunghoon laughs and tries to carefully explain every line of text to Jake.Â
Maybe you were too focused on your own problems with Niki to notice that this is what couldâve been of your friend group.Â
____
You and Niki seemed to get closer as time passed.Â
The both of you didnât even notice it, the barrier between you passing by like a breeze. It came all so naturally, and you never knew youâd have so much in common with the boy you swore you hated.Â
You would accustom him to his practice sometimes, and heâd proudly show you off to all his teammates. The lines between faking it and being truthful have faded by now, confusing your heart a little. But just a little. Because at the end of the day it was fake.Â
âI think itâs time you pay me back,â Niki said, a mischievous smile decorating his face.Â
You looked at him with a confused expression âFor what exactly?âÂ
He smiles, and brings his backpack to his chest, rummaging through it to find the key item.Â
Niki was smart, very smart. He didnât earn the number three rank for no reason, proudly representing the school on the pitch and in numerous academic competitions. Yet his mind couldnât quite understand anything written in his physics textbook. He passed by fine, but it never satisfied him to cheat on his tests, and pay Sunghoon to do his homework for him.Â
âTutoring? Seriously? And what did you do to deserve it?â you asked, raising your eyebrow.Â
He smiles widely âWell I havenât seen any sappy men bothering you, so I think you owe me this oneâÂ
âI havenât seen any sappy girls bothering you either, so I thought we were evenâ you answer, not giving into his request just yet.Â
You knew youâd do it. You did everything he asked you to do.Â
âCâmon Y/n! I need your help, just this one time, please?â he pleaded, a pout on his face âI wonât be able to play in the game this week if I donât get a good grade on this testâ he adds in an attempt to convince you.Â
You laugh at his desperation, and nod your head âFine, but you owe me oneâÂ
He nods hurriedly, and pulls out all the things youâll need to give him the greatest tutoring session ever.Â
âImagine youâre driving a carâ you said sketching a simple diagram âWhen you hit the brakes, what happens?âÂ
Niki furrowed his eyebrows, and you wondered how he couldnât comprehend such a simple concept as Newton's laws. It was cute in a way.Â
âWell I slow down, but thatâs too obvious. This is probably a much more complex answer, isnât it?â he pondered the question.Â
âNo Niki, itâs that simpleâ you laugh âThatâs Newton's first law in action. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an external force. When you hit the brakes, you apply force to the car, causing it to decelerateâÂ
His eyes lit up in understatement, as he tried to solve another question you threw at him.Â
âWas it really that hard?â you asked him with a small smile, and he hesitated at first.Â
His eyes glazed through the notebook, but soon enough he answered âNot really. It was much better when you explained it rather than Ms. LeeâÂ
âIâm gladâ you answered âIf itâs really that bad, you can ask me for helpâÂ
âIt really isnât that bad thoughâ Niki answered, with a chuckle.Â
âOh câmon you donât even understand Newton's laws, it is badâ you reply.Â
âOkay you geek, I get it. But I thought I have to deserve your tutoring?â he questioned, a small smirk on his face.Â
âYou gotta help out a dumb bitch once in a whileâ he pretends to be offended at your words.Â
Not so long ago, heâd probably blow up at you for those words. Heâd probably make a scene, resulting in everyone being uncomfortable for a good two days. This time was different. You were different.Â
âThe way you talk to me- itâs unlike youâ you inquire suddenly, after a moment of calming silence.Â
âHow come?â Niki asks, not raising his gaze from the workbook.Â
âYour voice is softerâ you smile, and he canât help but reciprocate.Â
It brings him a weird comfort. The words passing by your lips, make his heart warmer, a trickling yet pleasing feeling in his spine. He canât quite pinpoint the moment you touched his mind so intimately, erasing any barrier between you and him. Being with you felt so easy. It feels so easy, that he even forgets why he hated you in the first place.Â
âAre you coming to my game?â he asked, a new found passion for physics coursing through his veins as he solves yet another problem with ease.Â
You looked at him adoringly âObviouslyâÂ
He chuckled âIâm gladâ he looked up at you âBut I thought you hated footballâÂ
Well you did. You hated it because Niki played it. But even if he didn't ask you, youâd come.Â
âI just don't understand it, thatâs allâ you gave him a half smile, looking through his textbook for any more challenging questions for Niki to solve.Â
âYou don't have to be there if you don't want to, Y/nâÂ
You seem to enjoy the way your name slips his lips so delicately.Â
âNo no, I want to be there for you, and I think Itâd be sus if I didn't show up. Plus, Hana has some new crush and wants to see him playâ you chuckle, and so does Niki, noting that the girl falls in love with anyone and everybody.Â
âIs it Jay? Iâve seen them mingling beforeâ he questions and you shake your head.Â
âJay was last month, old news. I think his name is Sungchan? Or Seunghan, I don't knowâ you ponder the question, going back to that one conversation you had with the girl about her new love interest.Â
The possibility that heâs also not the guy she likes now is very high-her heart swooning for any man that gives her the time of day.Â
Hana was gorgeous and incredibly sweet. No wonder she had a new talking stage every week, no boy being able to handle her.Â
âSungchan. Heâs a good guy. I can approve of him, definitely better than Jayâ he recalls many situations including Jay, where the boy proved himself to be absolutely useless and weird.Â
Maybe it was his team captain complex, but Niki seemed to notice many things that others didn't. His duty was to take care of his teammates, so catching onto the tiniest things was inevitable.Â
âWhatâs wrong with Jay?â you question, and he laughs wondering if the words will even peer out of his mouth.Â
âHeâs like, fucking pervertedâ he laughs âWell maybe not that badly, but still, heâs just proper dodgyâÂ
You're shocked at his admission, and internally glad your best-friend got over him so quickly.Â
Your conversation with Niki seemed to flow so easily. You never had to try hard, something always slipping off your tongue, his personality making it so easy. You never thought youâd have so much in common with Niki, so much to talk to him about. You were so fixated on something that was beyond his control, instead of pissing Jake off for being a horrible friend.Â
____Â
âI need to go to the bathroom quickly before the game startsâ Hana said hurriedly, her small figure rushing towards the bathroom, making you smile to yourself.Â
You blush. You remember the brief mention Hana made, expressing the want for a more romantic expose of the relationship between you and Niki. You wonder if Niki remembers too.Â
Usually you never cared for the highschool football games, skipping in order to study more or spend time with your best-friend. This time was different, you felt like a trophy to your oh-so-fake boyfriend, excited to see what comes after he scores a winning touchdown.Â
âCan we talk?â Minjunâs voice takes you by surprise, making you stop in a halt.Â
âUh, sureâ you reply, taken aback by the sudden serious tone and demeanor, knowing him from the bubbly personality and sweet voice.Â
âI know youâre faking itâ your heart sinks âWhy are you doing this? Why are you doing this to yourself? Seriously, Niki?â he asks, and you go completely silent, trying to figure out a reasonable answer to his accusations.Â
âI donât know what youâre talking about Minjun,â you say after a moment of uncomfortable silence.Â
A frown tugs at the corners of his mouth. He didnât expect that reply. He doesnât know what he really expected in the first place.Â
âFor whatever reason you are doing this, you couldâve just asked me. Why didnât you ask me? I wouldâve helped you, no matter how stupid it isâ he kept going, and it felt like you were digging yourself deeper into this lie.Â
He remembers standing in this same place, your hand hitting his arm playfully, your eyes lighting up at anything he said. In some way, he feels just as barren and vulnerable in your silence as he had that day.Â
âMinjun, I think you should go join the rest of the team. Theyâre probably looking for youâ you answered, wondering why Hana hasnât come to save you by now.Â
âI really liked you Y/n. Like really fucking liked you. I donât know why you're doing this, especially why youâre helping out that asshole Nikiâ he added quietly, as Hana came up to the two of you.Â
âMinjun!â she smiled at him, and he forced one himself âFighting Minjunnie! Iâm rooting for you! We both are!â she cheered.Â
âSurelyâ he said, leaving the two of you.Â
Hana turned to you confused with Minjun's sudden ignorance âDid you two fight or something?â she asked.Â
âItâs nothing. I think heâs just stressed outâ you replied calmly, leading the girl out to the bleachers.Â
You tried to focus. You tried to be the perfect (fake) girlfriend for Niki, as he played one of his most important games, but Minjunâs words sunk so deep. They were all you could think about.Â
You couldn't quite figure out why you didn't just admit it. Why didn't just tell him everything and end the bet with Niki? You wanted to so badly before.Â
âSungchan is playing like a bitch right nowâ Eunseok commented, disappointed with his friends performance.Â
âDon't say that, Eunseok!â Hana slaps his forearm and he laughs at her anger.Â
At least you knew she was still crushing on him, instead of Jay.Â
âNo seriously, what is going on with that manâ Sunghoon said, squinting slightly, his eyes trailing behind Sungchans figure.Â
Hana kept hushing them, begging for her friends to not speak so badly about her soon-to-be husband. You found it adorable, noting to ask Niki to set her up with him.Â
âOur boy is doing so well though. Maybe he actually needed a girl in his lifeâ Eunseok smiled at you.Â
You felt a heat rush to your cheeks at his words, wondering if he actually performed any better this time.Â
Maybe he was trying to show off in front of you? Or make you proud?Â
âHeâs been training like crazyâ you say, and they keep hyping him up.Â
âJakey, are you okay?â Hana asked the boy sitting next to you, concerned when she noticed his tired face.Â
He smiled âIâm fine, Hana. Donât worryâ he said fondly âLook Sungchan is waving at youâ he pointed, the girl immediately turning her figure towards him to wave back.Â
âDid you just see that? He waved at me! Sungchan waved at me!â Hana gleamed excitedly, Eunseok looking at her with disgust.Â
âI canât believe you like his bitchassâ he half-smiled, shaking his head in a playful act of disbelief.Â
âAren't you two friends? Oh Iâm so telling him about thisâ she replied, and he put his hands up.Â
âMaybe your fantasy will come trueâ you inquire, and Hanaâs mind races back to the moment she imagined a dreamy kiss on the field.Â
âWith the way heâs playing, I doubt there will be anything to celebrateâ Jake said, and Hana hummed tiredly.Â
âCan you guys leave him alone? Heâs tired, okay?â she mused, and everyone nodded, done with teasing the girl.Â
You canât help but stare at Niki. Even with the heavy gear, he still manages to look good. When did he get so attractive? How come youâve never noticed the pretty little mole on his chin, his gorgeous lips that begged for your touch, and eyes that grew whenever he talked about something he loves. He was right in front of you this whole time.Â
You practically begged for Minjunâs attention just a couple weeks back, yet now you felt yourself fading away from the feelings for him. You canât bring yourself to come up with any conclusion, or to bother with distractions, but why? Why was it so hard to just accept the truth as it was: you wanted Niki to want you.Â
The game was nearing the end, and Niki could already smell the victory coming his way. He wanted to make you proud, he wanted to see your smile while you ran up to him, praises spewing from your mouth as he hugs you tightly. He hated that it was all fake, the realization dawning upon him; he wants you to want him.Â
But he knows deep down that itâll never be the two of you.Â
A loud horn breaks your trail of thoughts, the audience screaming happily as Niki scores the winning touchdown. It was just like how you imagined, wondering if heâll actually kiss you now. You know you wanted him to.Â
He took off his helmet, his hair ruffled, beads of sweat falling down his face, but a wide smile when he spots you with a wide grin striding towards him. Itâs just like he imagined.Â
He doesnât know what to do. Everyone is looking, and this is the moment he could victoriously hold you. It would make his ego grow, the perfect highschool popular kid image never dwindling, but what would you think of it? God what if you pushed him off of you in front of everyone.Â
As much as he could prevent things from happening or predict anything, he couldnât have known that you would be the one to initiate his deep rooted fantasy. He couldnât have prepared himself for your pretty lips that pressed against him in a chaste, sweet kiss. You felt so good against him, and he couldnât find himself pulling away. He never expected himself to enjoy such a fucking cliche moment- but here he was, wanting more and more.Â
He wants to tell you everything in that moment- how he wanted this too, how heâd imagined your lips against his, and how he wants to kiss you everywhere. He knows he could. Heâd even blame it on the slip of his unruly tongue. Yet there was a boundary heâd have to walk upon, a fear of losing you prevailing his selfishness. He knows he wonât.Â
âWh-â he tries, and fails to still his breathing. Niki hopes you canât hear the tremble in his voice âHow was it?â he asks, his voice unsteady. He doesnât care though.Â
âYour game or the kissâ you smile, and he wonders how you can be so calm about this.Â
He smiles shyly âBothâÂ
âStopâ you laugh and he feels himself float above his body âYou did greatâÂ
âAll for youâ his response is amorous.Â
Niki canât help but laugh at your silence, watching you replay those words in your head. He pats your head, and throws his arm over your shoulder.Â
How could any of this possibly be fake?Â
âGood fucking game dudeâ Eunseok exclaimed, with a bright smile on his face, as everyone else decided to join you by Nikiâs side.Â
You looked around, a giddy and gleeful Hana, hugging a tired and sweaty Sungchan, as he smiled at her affection. Everyone had happily come down to congratulate the team, but Minjun was nowhere to be seen. Maybe you never intended to hurt him, but you so obviously did.Â
âJake you better fucking continue this energy at your disgustingly rich mansionâ Sunghoon warned, and Jake smiled at his words.Â
âYou donât have to worry about thatâ he replied contentedly, and you were glad to see him like this.Â
Jake was rich. Like really fucking rich. To the point that he was offended when âeat the richâ was trending, defending that he didnât choose this life. His mansion in the hills was the go to spot for summer and any other party.
 But then again, itâs not like he didnât have people to clean up after everything goes silent.Â
_____Â
âY/n!â you turned, your eyes meeting Wonbinâs, as you entered the kitchen you knew better than anyone present.Â
You smiled, as the boy moved in your direction holding a red solo cup.Â
Wonbin was your designated drink mixer and party buddy for whatever event hosted by whoever. You wouldn't call him a close friend, rather a person youâd talk to only on a special occasion.Â
âWhere your boyfriend at?â he asked with a grin, making you chuckle.Â
The word didn't make your heart feel weird anymore. It felt so natural, normal, and sometimes youâd even forget it was all fake. For the past couple of weeks youâve learned to forget easily, not wanting to pick apart Nikiâs actions to maybe notice a pattern. You didnât want to accidentally misinterpret.Â
âProbably playing some stupid game in the living roomâ you sighed, hoping to get a little more out of him this time.Â
You knew that the fake relationship was coming to an end, it already had gone on for way too long.Â
âMhmâ Wonbin hummed, resting his body on the kitchen counter âItâs fake isnât it?â he asked, taking you by surprise.Â
You had absolutely no idea what to say. Wonbin really wasn't a part of any friend group you knew or were in, so what was the shame in telling him the truth? But itâd hurt your pride too much to say the truth out loud.Â
You avoided eye contact, not knowing what reply would secure your safety and not damage your pride. Your silence made Wonbin laugh âCâmon, you can tell meâÂ
âItâs so embarrassingâ you admit, and he shakes his head.Â
âNot really. Thereâs plenty of girls who dream of this whole fake dating type of shitâ he defended, and it made you smile lightly.Â
He was right. There were girls out there who fantasized about a fake relationship, and there definitely were also girls who dream about a relationship with Nishimura Riki.Â
Even though you initially hated his guts, maybe you were lucky after all?Â
âI just can't comprehend the fact you chose Niki out of all people to be your fake boyfriendâ he chuckled, and took a sip of his own drink.Â
âIt was his idea, I promiseâ you replied, and Wonbin mouthed a âno fucking wayâ, unable to imagine Niki, the person who swore he hated everything about you, ask you to be his fake girlfriend.Â
âPeople can be really annoying, and I guess we just had some things in common after allâ you added, and he nodded, still trying to visualize the situation you described.Â
In a way it felt good to tell someone. You had been hiding it for so long, the lies eating you alive.Â
It had been so long that you didn't even know what had become of this initially fake relationship. The line had already been blurred a long time ago, and it was hard to move along it at this point. He had done so many things, in private, that you didn't know where you stood anymore.Â
âI can tell you actually like himâ Wonbin admitted, once again taking you by surprise âThe way you talk about him, itâs differentâÂ
âYou act so smart and psychological, itâs so annoyingâ you huffed, and turned away from him, chugging the drink he had previously made for you.Â
He laughed âThe truth hurts, doesn't it?âÂ
âI donât like Nikiâ you said, trying to sound as confident as you could, but Wonbin saw right through you anyway.Â
He didn't want to continue the topic, knowing he had already exhausted your limits. You also knew that no matter what, admitting something like that out loud wouldn't be easy either.Â
The built up hatred and anger you had for Niki, couldn't have just disappeared so easily after a couple conversations and hangouts. But it did. And it frustrated you so much.Â
âYou guys playing spin the bottle in the living room with us?â a red faced Hana asked, peeking her head into the kitchen slightly.Â
âWith us, meaning?â Wonbin asked, making Hana slightly stumble into the kitchen.Â
She started putting down her fingers âWell me, obviouslyâ she smiled âSungchannie, thank godâ she let out a steady, thankful breath âSome girls, Oh Jia, Lee Chae, I donât really recognize the rest. Oh, and Eunseok, Yang Jungwon, Minjunnie and some othersâ she went on, her drunken state making the explanation much longer than it should've been.Â
âNo, no, no! Niki too! Y/n you need to come!â she exclaimed, eyes wide. She took your hand and pulled you with her.Â
You looked at Wonbin pleadingly, and with a small smile he trailed right behind the two of you. He always claimed to be âtoo oldâ for those type of games, but always ended up staying till the end of any.Â
Park Wonbin was truly full of shit.Â
Your eyes met Nikiâs as he sat in the circle, his back pressed against the couch. You looked at him, mouthing âwhat are you doingâ and he pointed to Oh Jia sitting across from him.Â
You knew she liked him, and it definitely didn't make you happy.Â
âI can see some couples here, yall into shit like this?â Jungwon asked, eyeing not only you and Niki, but Hana and Sungchan who seemed to have already made the news that went around school.Â
You chuckled quietly and shook your head âItâs nothing that serious, just a stupid gameâÂ
âIt will be serious for you soonâ Jia mumbled, her friend turning to her with a shit eating grin.Â
Oh if they only knew how absolutely out of it they looked. What the fuck were they even talking about anyway.Â
âI donât think we should be playing thisâ you whispered to Niki, who previously patted down a seat for you next to himself.Â
âLook how many people are playing, doubt me or you will get chosenâ he smiled, and you nodded.
Still, isn't the sole fact you are even agreeing to participate weird? Shouldnât you be mingling in a closet somewhere deep inside the house? God what was he thinking. This was so unbelievable, and you weren't surprised that Wonbin had caught on.Â
âMe first!â Hana cheered excitedly, as Eunseok had finally brought a bottle to play with.Â
You looked over at Sungchan, who had a sad expression on his face. You could see his eyes praying on the bottle to land on him, his hands trembling with each spin. It was cute.Â
The Gods above must have heard his prayers, the bottle landing on him with no doubt.Â
He smiled and leaned into your bestfriend to plant a quick kiss on her lips. She pouted and grabbing his head, pushed for more. Maybe she was drunk, but you knew sheâd remember this well. Although a witness, youâd hear about it for a long long time.Â
âIâm guessing you donât want to spin, Sungchan?â Eunseok chuckled, and the boy holding onto Hana, shook his head no.Â
âTwo players down so quicklyâ a boy with black hair, who you didn't recognize, commented.Â
While Jungwon went in to spin, your eyes caught Minjunâs. You couldn't read him, his expression stone cold. He was either mad at you or didn't care. Thatâs the thing, you didn't know.Â
âStop looking at himâ Niki whispered, cutting your moment with Minjun short.Â
âI think heâs mad at meâ you said, and Niki furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.Â
âWhy?â he asked, eyeing Minjun down.Â
âHe figured it out, you know, figured us outâ you replied, putting emphasis on the word âusâ âI didn't admit, obviously, and thatâs why I think heâs mad. Heâs convinced I played him on purposeâ you added, and Nikiâs gaze softened.Â
âIâm sorryâ he said quietly, his eyes falling onto his lap.Â
You looked at him confused, âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
He finally looked over at you, his face displaying a half smile, that felt cold to you âI ruined your chances with Minjun. I guess I was only thinking about myself back then, so Iâm saying sorry. I can talk to him when this is overâ he answered, and you felt your heart break.Â
He didn't like Minjun, you knew it very well. Minjun knew it too. But somehow he felt bad for the both of you. If only he knew how much you didn't care about Kim Minjun at this moment. How much you actually cared about the boy next to you. Maybe if he knew he wouldn't feel so sorry, you thought.Â
âYou don't have to be sorry, Niki. We both wanted thisâ you smiled, and squeezed his hand.Â
âI can tell Niki really wants to go nowâ Sunghoon exclaimed, and hurried Niki to spin the bottle.Â
The boy hesitated, looking over at you. You nodded for him to go ahead with a smile. God was this weird? You agreeing to your (fake) boyfriend playing fucking spin the bottle. Not only that , but playing with him. This was so stupid.Â
He took the small soju bottle, and spinned it lightly. He prayed it would fall on you.Â
Or one of his bros, no homo of course.Â
The music was blaring, and you hoped that bottle could feel your intense stare, successfully landing on you.Â
As much as luck was on Sungchanâs side today, he seemingly took all of it with him earlier. The bottle pointed straight at Oh Jia, the girl who was known for her little obsession with Niki.Â
She looked at you with a disgusting smile, and moved her body towards Niki. He looked at you, and you didn't even know what to say. You couldn't tell him no, he wasn't yours after all.Â
âSorry, Y/nâ she muttered, and you felt your blood boil at her annoying, high pitched voice.Â
She moved even closer, but her actions were stopped with Niki moving the bottle's nozzle to point at you.Â
He didn't even let you or Jia speak, eagerly going in to kiss your lips he missed so much. It hasn't even been 3 hours since you initiated the first one, but his lips starved for your touch. You could feel it. You could feel the desperation in his movements. The taste of his chapstick mixing in with the saliva, it was much more passionate than last time.Â
âPayback for last timeâ he mumbled, pulling away, his voice unsteady.Â
You looked at him dumbfounded. What the fuck did he just do? Was this another stunt to show off his cool, popular boy persona, cause it seemed just like that. But you couldn't blame him either, you started it.Â
No matter what, it felt good, and you wondered how to get yourself to stop.Â
âThatâs cheating!â Jiaâs friend exclaimed, crossing her arms.Â
âThe bottle is clearly on her, I don't know what you're talking aboutâ Wonbin defended, and you smiled at him.Â
Jia huffed, leaving the game along with her friend.Â
âWeâll leave tooâ you said, watching them go upstairs.Â
Jungwon sighed âIâm forced to kiss the boys nowâÂ
You looked around, not a single woman in the circle that was initially full.Â
You pulled Nikiâs hand, taking him to an empty room. He felt confident at that moment, rehearsing his confession in his head. He was going to tell you. He was going to tell you, and it was going to be amazing. Youâd listen to him in awe, and then agree to be his actual girlfriend.Â
âI have something to tell youâ he said, as you closed the door behind yourself.Â
He sat down on the bed, and you stood in front of him âMe tooâÂ
âYou go firstâ he smiled, and you looked out the window, the words lingering at the tip of your tongue.Â
You wanted to tell him how you actually felt. But you knew you couldn't. You were enemies, nothing more.Â
âWe should end this,â you said after a moment of silence.Â
_____Â
Things had gone back to normal.Â
You didnât expect much from Niki, guessing heâd either be overly nice to you, expressing his thankfulness for helping him get rid of annoying fangirls, or go back to being annoying himself.Â
But he was neither. He didnât say anything. Just like he didnât say anything that day, he had gone completely quiet ever since. Instead of teasing you, he ignored you.Â
He ate lunch with the football team, and it hurt you to see him laugh purely with them. It even seemed like he had gotten along with Minjun, which confused you even further. They hated each other, but now? It seemed like they were just laughing at your misery, getting high off of seeing you like this. Was this just a huge plan to get you looking like a complete loser?
Maybe he shouldâve been sorry that day, not only did you lose Minjun, but everyone of your fanboys at this school. That sounded awful, but it was partially true.
You two had only revealed the 'breakup' to your closest friends, not exactly reaching any agreement regarding the rest of the students.Â
You could pretend to be mad at him in front of your friends, but it hurt you so much. It hurt to see him behave like this towards you, knowing you did nothing wrong. You two were never real, so why was he so different so suddenly. You just hoped that it was a performance for your friends to make it more believable, but as days went by, you started to doubt it.Â
âThis is a sign that I shouldnât regret not dating Hana,â Sunghoon chuckled, looking over at the table Niki was seemingly having more fun at. He never laughed like this with all of you.Â
Was it all for show?
âFuck offâ you mumbled, looking down at your lunch, which was vastly unappetising today.Â
âItâs not your fault, Y/n, donât worry. For all I know, it was probably his fault anywaysâ Jake said, which made you suddenly look up from your food for the first time in a while.Â
âYou defending me?â you chuckled, and he shrugged.Â
You looked over at Niki once again, attempting to catch him looking at you too.Â
But he canât. He canât bear to look at you. He can only think about the dark heat of that room, your words ringing in his ears. Resisting the searing force that wanted, more than anything, to try and tell you again.Â
âGod, this is so annoying!â Hana exclaimed âY/nnie didnât do anything, and heâs acting like a pussy all of a suddenâÂ
She pouted, a weird vibe circulating all of you today. It felt like you were mourning him in some way.Â
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, a text message from Minjun lighting up your homescreen. It was ironic, a picture of you and Niki on your lock screen, a message from Minjun decorating it.Â
Minjun: Can we talk?Â
You thought about replying, the scenarios of him playing a stupid prank on you along with Niki replaying in your mind. Nevertheless, you texted back a short confirmation, and locked your phone.Â
You could feel his eyes on you, as you set your phone down on the table.Â
âŠ
âWhat did you want to talk about?â you asked, your voice unsure of the situation.Â
It felt familiar, meeting in the equipment room, but this time instead of Niki who had the prettiest face out there, it was Kim Minjun.
âI knew it was fakeâ he said, and you felt a heat rise to your cheeks.Â
You looked away from him, your eyes landing on the window. The sky was gray, the sun no longer shining in through it.Â
âI donât want to talk about this again, Minjun,â you sighed, tired of the topic already. Especially tired of talking about it with him.Â
âNo thatâs not the pointâ he stopped you from leaving, you turned towards him once again.Â
âThen what is it Minjun? Did Niki tell you all about it? Did he tell you how stupid I was to fall for him, even though it was all fake? Did you get me to come here only so you could make fun of me for being so naive? Is that what it is?â you blurted out. You had suddenly lost control over your words, your response coming out much harsher than you intended.Â
âWhat are you talking about? Do you seriously think Iâm plotting behind your back with Niki?â he asked hurriedly.Â
Now that he said it, out loud, it sounded so stupid. You knew Niki long enough to know he hates Minjun more than he has ever hated you, and would never ever make any deal with him.
âMaybeâ you huffed, turning from him âI donât know Minjun. Can you just say it already?âÂ
He sat down on the chair in the far right corner, his hand signaling for you to come closer, patting down the chair next to him.Â
âI guess I did sort of figure it out, the fact that what you and Niki had was fake. But he told me about it himself recently. He also said you didnât intend to hurt me, and that he forced you to do this whole fake dating thingâ Minjun relayed the message, and you didnât know Niki would remember your conversation during that stupid game.Â
Niki was evidently mad at you for ending things with him, but encouraging Minjun to try with you once again? That was what pissed you off the most, you couldnât figure him out in any possible way. One day you canât figure out the actual intention behind his words, exchanging sweet words and kisses, and the other, going back to complete strangers. Not even enemies, strangers.Â
âHe really said that?â you asked, and Minjun nodded âI really didnât want to hurt you Minjun. Iâm sorry for leading you on, in some way. I shouldâve never agreed to it in the first placeâ you add, avoiding eye contact with the boy.Â
You hear him chuckle, and with a furrow to your eyebrows you look up at him.Â
He smiles âItâs not your fault I already know that much. I shouldnât have blown up on you before the match like that anyways. It truly is none of my business who you hang out withâ he assured, and it made you feel a little better.Â
âI know, but I just hope you can still speak to me comfortably after thisâ you gave him a small smile, still unsure of your situation with him.Â
âIâm not going to try and get with you again though, don't worryâ he said calmly, and although you knew it, it still felt weird to hear.Â
You chuckled âNot to sound selfish, but why? Am I not cute anymore?â you pouted sarcastically, and he laughed.Â
âI can see you like him, like a lot. I even felt stupid for saying those things to you, cause you made it so believable at the party. The way you look at him, the way you speak to him, thatâs not fake. All of it is real, and I wouldnât want to stand in the middle of thatâ he answered, and you felt your heart skip a beat.Â
And you thought you were good at hiding it.Â
âNiki doesnât feel the same thoughâ you gave him a sad smile, fiddling with the material of your sweater.Â
âYou think so?â he asks, but it doesn't necessarily sound like a question.Â
You hum in agreement, and he chuckles lightly âThe same goes for him. Trust me itâs real. I can see it, hear it and feel it. The way his voice was so sad yet hopeful when he spoke to me about you, I know he likes you. Niki is just really stubborn, and heâd rather live in misery and not tell anyone instead of just admitting his feelings to you, or honestly anyone elseâ he explains, and you feel your heart start to beat faster.Â
Was he right? Did Niki like you? Or did Minjun have a terrible judge of character and all this way a complete bullshit.
âWhat should I do then? Gosh this is so annoyingâ you sighed, combing your fingers through your hair.Â
âTell him? What else is there to do? If Iâm wrong, which Iâm notâ he smiled proudly â-and he doesnât like you, I owe you big timeâ he offered.Â
âI donât know if I should take that risk, thoughâ you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully.Â
âDo you really want it to be like this for the rest of highschool? God, if he doesnât like you, youâll just find someone betterâÂ
Easier said than done.Â
But maybe he was right. At the end of the day you had nothing to lose, so why not just tell him?
âFineâ you grumble, and he laughs, taking your hand to pull you out of the room, before any teacher finds you.Â
_____
You had left a note in his locker the next day, too scared to face him yourself.Â
You waited, hiding your body behind the huge column, peeking to see if he had come to grab something from his locker already.
You felt like one of his fangirls. Giggling to yourself, as you awaited the arrival of your mighty savior, Nishimura Riki, hoping you are the one he picks. Hoping that he reads your note, and whispers an âI like you tooâ rosy cheeked, hot breath and all.Â
How did you get like this? You curse yourself for letting something so seemingly small, so innocent, writhe under your skin and possess your mind.Â
You didnât catch it, lost in your mind, envisioning the numerous scenarios that could occur after he receives your note.Â
He sighs with annoyance, a note filling his locker, it had been so long since he received one, it felt unfamiliar. Niki was frustrated, hoping that the notes werenât making a sudden comeback.Â
He opens it, curious as to what it may be. He couldnât help it, wanting to remind himself of the feeling reading confessions like this brought him. But what he didnât expect was to see your name written on it.Â
He thought it may have been a prank, a stupid way to get you back together made up by your dear friends, but it wasnât. This was your handwriting, the same one that wrote all his physics notes and study guides.Â
âNiki, itâs Y/n. This is weird isnât it? Like me writing notes to you. I hope you donât see the pink envelope, and throw it out like you always do. But Iâll know if you do, anyways. Well first of all I wanted to apologize. I donât even know what for, so this may be stupid, but I feel like I should. You looked so sad, and I know itâs because of me. So Iâm sorry, Niki. If I did something wrong, something to hurt you, please tell me! Anyways, I wanted to tell you something. I like you Nishimura Riki. Iâve liked you for a long, long time now, but I myself didnât know it just yet. But Iâm saying it now, and I'm very much sure of it. I guess it took some stupid physics tutoring, geeky Wonbin and finally Minjun whom you hate so much for me to realize. God, maybe I shouldnât talk about him in a note where I confess to you? Forget it. I didnât kiss you that day to show off, I kissed you because I really freaking wanted to. And it felt so good when I did. So please donât think I ended things with you that day because you kissed me, no, not at all. I guess I just couldnât stand this relationship being fake, because to me, all the things I did were real. You donât have to reciprocate, or even say anything, I just wanted you to know. And I would hope you feel the same, but itâs okay if you donâtâÂ
His mouth runs dry.Â
It explodes in his chest all at once; how bad he wants to grab a fistfull of your blazer, stroke his fingers against your ivory jaw, and kiss you senseless. He would rub his thumb against your swollen lips, and tell you how much he likes you.Â
He looks around, spotting your shoe slightly peeking out from behind the column a little ahead of the lockers.Â
âBaek Y/n!â he shouts, and you're suddenly brought back to reality.Â
Your mind had been rushing for so long, you didnât even notice Niki walking up to his locker, and managing to even read the whole note.Â
You slightly peek your head out, and catch his eyes already looking at you. He strides towards you quickly, and you canât tell if heâs mad or happy. He holds the note in his hand tightly as he stands in front of you.Â
âWhat is this?â he smirks, and you still canât tell if heâs about to make fun of you or return your feelings.Â
You shrug, looking away from him.Â
âItâs cute. You even put those stickers we bought at the stationery store on itâ he points out, chuckling, and grabs your hand so you can face him again. âWhat do you think Iâll say now?â he tilts his head, and you find it incredibly attractive.Â
âI donât knowâ you murmured, unsure of the situation you have gotten yourself into.Â
âLetâs seeâ he scans the note again âI think I like you tooâ he smiles, and you donât know if heâs fucking with you or not.Â
âYou think?â you ask, copying his action by tilting your head slightly.Â
He laughs âAre you really going to make me say it?âÂ
You nod with a smile âMmmâÂ
âYes Y/n, I like you. I donât think I like you, I definitely like you. Iâve also liked you for a long time, but I didnât want to admit it because I knew you probably didnât. And that day, when you ended things, I wanted to tell you. But Iâm glad you did it, even if I had to wait a little longer. That fake relationship was fucking with my head big timeâ he answers, and you feel stupid for not letting him speak first that day. You couldâve avoided this whole misunderstanding.Â
But things happen for a reason.Â
âAre you being for real?â you ask, and he chuckles.Â
He grabs your shoulders âVery realâÂ
You pull him closer, tightly embracing his body. He smiles, the familiar scent hitting his nose. Nikiâs cheeks are glowing red, and he canât hide his toothy smile.Â
âSo would you want to be my girlfriend, like my real girlfriendâ he asks, his voice muffled by the material of your sweater.Â
You laugh lightly at his tone âI donât knowâŠ. You tell meâ you tease, and he pulls away to look at you with a small pout.Â
âCmon, just tell meâ he pleads.Â
âYes Niki, I want to be your real girlfriendâ you answer, emphasizing the word ârealâ.Â
Now you could finally enjoy him, and by the way your heart beat, this time you were certain it was real.Â
2K notes
·
View notes
not a req but please please can you write something for haechan soon đđ i need it so bad iâm dying
# impatient !! l.dh
lol why not ig this man is too cunty for his own good
# nsfw + minors dni, making a bet with hyuck when he wonât pay attention to you because his league match takes priority.
thereâs nothing quite more infuriating than haechan on a bet. but two can play that game. like telling him he wouldnât last five minutes with that boner of his, bulging through his sweats prominently,,, after all, he asked for it, choosing games over you. you shouldnât have underestimated him.
âbaby, iâm almost done,â haechan grumbles when your insistently wave your hand over his view, blocking sight of his computer. âhyuck, youâve been saying that for an hour,â you whine, leaning over the back of his gaming chair. leave it to haechan to be more invested in winning league than spending time together after a long week. god, he looks divine, loose white t shirt hanging off his shoulders and exposing the smooth collarbones peeking out, gray sweats comfortably manspread as he clicks away, his subtle, quiet breaths laced with annoyed swears driving you a little more feral by the second. and maybe any other day youâd have more patience, but sometimes desperate days call for desperate measures,,, and maybe youâd just rather hyuck bend you over his desk and fuck you dumb instead of watching his goddamn league match.
âso impatient,â haechan smirks when you take matters into your own hands, climbing over his armrest to press your needy clothed cunt or his thigh, a soft moan escaping your lips at the desperately needed friction, slowly rubbing your panties against his sweats, hand on his shoulder to ground yourself as you blink at him expectantly, because fuck, heâs a goddamn tease. âhyuckâŠâ your voice drawls in a whining manner, clenching your thighs over his, fingers wandering down his shirt to feel the smooth musculature beneath, slowly tracing downward, ââm bored, just want you already.â
âwhat a brat,â his voice low when your hips rut against his thigh harder, soft mewls and whimpers slipping from your lips as you hump his leg desperately, but he wonât fucking give you the attention you need. âbaby,â haechanâs voice laced with a tease as your fingers reach the bulge in his sweats, feeling the effect your neediness has on him, so sure youâve got him when you tilt your head to his neck, pressing needy kisses, warm pants and gasps, soaked panties and lewd noises as you palm him, a small frustrated hyuck escaping you when haechan bites his lip to keep his composure. but the final irritating straw is when his pretty eyes meet yours in a teasing glance. ânice try,â he grins, âyou wonât get me to cum in my pants like a loser.â
and then you made the dumbest fucking bet of your life.
because if anything, haechan is fucking competitive, bulge in his sweats and heâs made it another half an hour without touching himself while youâre on the verge of tears trying to resist touching yourself, desperately wanting to do something to cure the need for friction, touch, anything. and the longer you wait, the more it drives you mad with need, your pride the only thing keeping you sane. and maybe you donât want to give him the satisfaction of winning both a game and a bet.
âall you have to do is just beg again,â haechanâs voice laced with amusement as he glances over his shoulder, âsay it. youâre going to lose, baby.â and your will shatters when he spins his chair, mouth watering bulge no longer out of sight, no longer out of mind. your thighs sore from rubbing together, âplease,âyour voice strained and quiet as you bury your face into his comforter, not wanting to admit it to his face. âgotta say it,â he laughs, relishing your desperation. âplease fuck me, hyuck, you w-win.â
âthatâs it, baby,â the smirk on his face evident as he strides over, grabbing your hair to make you look up at him, âdumb brat. on fours.â and you swear, youâve never felt more desperate when he lets go and the sound of his sweats slipping off as you shamefully get on fours, burying your face into his pillow to muffle the drooling moans as his hard cock presses to your cute ass, the tearing sound of your panties ripped from your pussy, and the harsh hit on your dripping cunt a lewd, salacious noise.
âahâhyuckâ!â you cry as his thick cock thrusts hard into your soaked pussy, fingers clinging to his sheets as he fills n stretches you out, lewd slaps of skin on skin with every brutal thrusts, tip kissing your cervix. âfuck,â he exhales, groaning as he lands a hard hit to your ass, âlook at you now.â and when he leans over, hands grasping your waist in a bruising grip as he roughly slams into your soaked pussy, haechanâs voice low and husky in your ear. âiâll make it hell for you, baby. donât think youâll have it easy after being such a brat.â
might consider writing a longer ver eventually for this one idk if i like it at this length lol
590 notes
·
View notes
On Tails and Horns
NSFW Rolan Fic
Tags: NSFW, 18+ only, tail touching, horn stroking, dry humping, first kiss, touch starved Rolan, she/her Female Tav, mostly sexy flirting but with smut at the end, basically all angst and anticipation really, I guess subRolan
Words: 6000 (once again this got completely out of hand)
Summary: Tav finally goes to visit Rolan in his new tower after a hard couple weeks of cleanup. Rolan is so delighted to see her and pent up with frustration and feelings that the lightest of touches is enough to make him lose all sense of himself.
A/N update: Holy hells thank you fine folk so much for the love on this one. I'm gonna go have a cry for realâ€ïžđ
Read below or direct on AO3
-
Tav and Rolan sat in his sitting room for tea, perched together, far closer than Rolan had intended, on the plush couch. The velvet couch was one of the many opulent vestiges from the previous owner. Books and scrolls aside, it certainly didnât hurt to now occupy a fully furnished tower. The large vaulted windows were flung open wide, letting in a soft breeze and low hum from the movements of the city far below.
Rolan had been delighted when she came to visit. Tav had been so busy with helping the issues in the damaged city he hadnât been quite sure when he would see her again. But he couldnât deny the way his heart sang when she strolled through the doors over an hour ago, hoping to catch up with him now that she had a moment to breathe. Him, of all people.
But now here they sat; having discussed the details of both of their new lives, how life in the tower and store were going, the efforts to clean up the city, and the question of what lay next seemed to hover in the air.
Tav set her cup down on the side table and gave him a soft look.
âThank you for taking time for me. I know youâve been busy. But I really needed this.â She said and shot him what looked like an almost shy smile. Rolan blinked hard at her, surprised at her words as much as the look on her face.
âThank...hah! I should be thanking you. Consistently and forever.â He set his own empty cup down as well. âI would have nothing were it not for you.â
âOh, donât pretend to be modest. You know you were amazing in the courtyard at that battle; I donât know if we couldâve made it through without your help.â Tav reminded him.
Rolan cocked his head, looking away a moment in thought.
âYes, I suppose I was rather amazing. I guess Cal and Lia helped some but my spells really sealed the fate of those wretched mind-flayers.â He mused with a slight smile. Tav always knew how to stroke his ego.
âBut...really...thank you, Rolan. Iâve been meaning to visit sooner. Iâm still staying at the Elfsong. Maybe we can do this again? Maybe dinner perhaps?â She said, almost casually. Just tossing asking him to dinner out there as if it was nothing.Â
His breath caught in his throat. Dinner. His mind rang with the word as it seeped into every corner of his brain; trying to wrap his head around what that could possibly mean. Was she asking him out? That couldnât be so. It was casual. Two friends catching up. But still, his mind immediately pictured the scene; dinner and wine at the Elfsong. Heâd love to see her in something more dressy. No, that was ridiculous. She must have dozens of suitors.
"Ahem...dinner, yes. That... would be a fine idea..â He spoke haltingly, trying to fill the silence with words, any words, while he was still trying to work through the idea in his head, a thousand different scenarios crashing together at once.
As he struggled with this concept; it seemed the deepest part of his desires to be close to her, to get to know her in possibly more than a friendly setting, that he has previously pushed away, had bubbled up again and his body decided to act for him.
Tav felt a movement on her leg and shivered.
She looked down to see Rolanâs tail curled gently but insistently around her leg just above her knee, the tip trailing down to rest on her calf. He followed her gaze and his eyes widened with shock at the impudence and betrayal of his own tail. Before he could utter out the immediate string of curses and apologies that flew into his head, in that split second of fear that gripped him, Tav moved quicker and he froze.
She raised her hand from her thigh and gently placed it on the exposed section of tail atop her leg. All thoughts fled from Rolanâs head as a hiss and a full body shudder rolled through him at her whisper light touch.
The shiver extended all the way through his tail and Tav immediately raised her hand off it as if she had been shocked, looking up to meet his eyes.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I should've asked first-"
She started as he spoke at the same time.
"I am very sorry about that damn tail, I -" he paused, her words finally reaching his muddled brain. "Ask?" The word almost caught in his throat as he choked it out, incredulous. He caught her eyes flutter down to the offending tail, still around her leg, then back up to his meet his eyes with a blush. A blush? What did she have to blush about? It was his tail that got him into this predicament.
"Yes, sorry. I'm so sorry Rolan, I've heard tails can be sensitive...I should've asked first...it was just...it was right there." She gave a nervous chuckle and glanced away.
Wonderful, now I've done and mucked everything up, Rolan thought. The mere mention of dinner from her lips had left him already in shambles, unable to even control his own cursed tail. He frowned and cleared his throat, trying to still the building throbbing in his chest and regain his usual demeanor.
"No. I mean, yes, you should have." He said brusquely at first. Her eyes flickered away again and he quickly added. "They...uh...can be sensitive in some areas, yes." He swallowed thickly suddenly quite unsure of what to say. Tav met his eyes for a brief moment then looked back down. Rolan followed her gaze, already knowing full well what he would find and saw his damned tail, somehow wrapped, so it seemed, even tighter around her leg. He cleared his throat again but made no attempt to move it despite his nerves screaming at him.
"So, can I?" Tav spoke, pulling his attention back to her face. It was tilted down but her eyes peered up at him in what seemed to be a deliberately maddening pose.
"Can you....?" He hesitated, he was sure she couldn't be asking what he thought she was asking.
"Can I touch your tail?" She finished boldly. Rolan eyed her a moment, and swallowed thickly, his brain swirling with a million thoughts and his hands starting to tremble. He crossed his arms and tried to seem nonchalant about the entire situation and realized he was failing miserably.
"Sure. Yes. You may." He uttered, hoping his voice didn't waver.
Tav reached back out, hand tentative but confident and placed her palm again on the flesh of his tail where it rested on her leg.
The sensation was like a blaze of fire through his already burning hot veins. He bit down on his tongue, hard, to avoid another offending shiver and felt his eyelids flutter, betrayal of his own self control.
Thankfully, Tavâs eyes remained fixed on his tail, not noticing the immediate and dramatic way it affected him. Or, he realized, she might be tactful enough to be avoiding his face. Her touch became more firm as she well and truly let the full weight of her hand fall on it.
A sharp hiss of air escaped his clenched teeth as her hand moved slightly and her eyes finally returned to his.
"Is this okay?" She asked. Her voice was hushed, almost...he struggled to place her tone...reverent?
"Yes, yes it's fine." He breathed out, forcing himself to let the tension in his jaw relax. She began to ease her hand up slightly, tracing the bumps and ridges with her fingertips, digits gently paving the path for her palm to follow.
Rolan felt himself flush and wondered if Tav could tell the difference between his usual ruddy hue and the deeper scarlet of his blushes.
"Does it feel....good?"
His eyes had purposefully wandered but now snapped back to hers and narrowed slightly. Her expression was unreadable and even as her haunting words echoed in his ears he, again, couldn't sense the meaning behind her tone. Did she want it to feel good? Or was it pure curiosity that caused her to ask such a charged question?
And whatâs more;Â how should he answer?
"It...does. The tail...my tail...seems to get more sensitive the higher up it goes." He tried to answer factually, logically even. It was true after all, but as quickly as the words left his mouth he realized the possible connotation of them. An invitation even. The corners of Tavâs lips flickered with a smile and her brow raised almost imperceptibly.
"Hmmm." Was the only response she gave. But her hand continued it's ascending exploration of his tail. It was now beyond the section just on her leg and was continuing on to where it dipped down a touch by his own legs.
Leaning forward slightly to extend her reach, she continued her careful mapping of the ridges, which were getting more and more pronounced as his tail progressed. She touched him as if she wished to memorize every single bump and pore; with a tenderness he couldnât recall ever feeling before. The feeling was indescribable, but undeniably sensual.Â
Rolan felt another shudder roll through him and couldn't contain this one. He felt it vibrate through his whole body all the way through and to the very tip of his tail and it gave a little flicker of movement against her calf. He couldn't tell if he was thankful or not that this one, as it trembled it's way down through his tail, didn't scare her hand away.
He stared at her hard, suddenly frustrated at her tender movements. Did she know how good it felt? Was she teasing him on purpose? To what bloody end? It was one thing to be touched so tenderly after so long, it was quite another to have his once detested bumps and ridges being the subject of such adoration. It was altogether brutal to have it be by someone that he wasn't even sure had further intentions with him. Other than being some...strange creature to fascinate over.
He squeezed his eyes shut. No matter how good it felt, how long he had wanted this, how soft her touch was, he had to stop this.
"I think-" he popped open his eyes intending on telling her to cease her activity but found that she had shifted while he battled internally and was now right beside him, her hips almost brushing against his own, her eyes firmly locked on his, watching his reactions carefully.
He wasn't just a subject of curiosity for her. He didn't know what she thought or what the intent was, but the burning in her eyes told him that it was far more than pure detached curiosity. He swallowed away his angry words, the frustration leaving him immediately, burned away by the heat of her gaze.
Her arm was now stretched out as far as it could go, ending just where his tail dipped down beside his thigh, before it would continue back up in a curve to reach the base. Incidentally, she had reached the point right where it started to become truly sensitive. It would've been positively indecent to let her continue.
His heart drummed hard in his chest, so loud he was certain she could hear it. He should end this, for decencyâs sake alone. But couldnât bring himself to conjure the words. A larger part of him was also so very desperate for her to continue; to see how far her boldness would take her. Take them. The two battling halves of his mind fought internally against each other. His mind fractured behind too many carefully crafted layers of strict composure.
He didn't have to struggle long. With a scoot of her hips again, her thighs well and truly pressed against his now, her arm bent at the elbow, giving her room to continue should she wish.
Rolan sucked in a sharp hiss of air at this development and stared at her carefully. Her eyes never left his. Her hand still firmly in place. The very air between them felt electric as if there was some magic from an unspoken spell being cast.
"Can I keep going?" She asked with a breath. His chest ached and again it took him a moment to register something. His need and eagerness for her touch along with his conflicting thoughts at the budding situation had made his senses dull. But as her words rang in his ears he heard something unmistakable. A nervous waver. In her voice. The slightest quiver. Of excitement or nerves; it could be either but he would take it. She was usually so, confident. Commanding even. To hear even a hint of a nerve in her voice at this situation stirred his insides and dispelled his doubts.
"Yes." He answered simply before he could stop himself with too much thinking. His chest hitched as her arm extended, stroking up his tail further, still using careful attention to the now more prominent peaks of cartilage. His jaw fell open slightly. The sensation of her hand almost too much to bear as another large shudder, stemming from her hand this time and rolling up his spine all the way to his scalp took him over.
She leaned forward further, her chest now dangerously close to touching his own. As her fingertips edged ever closer to the base of his tail he felt an unmistakable groan escape his lips. Her hand froze and he clamped his mouth shut with a snap both in the same moment.
His eyes darted away from hers, embarrassment welling up inside of him.
After an aching pause, his eyes still diverted, he felt Tav remove her hand and lean back away slightly. If the touch of her skin had lit a pleasant warm fire until under his skin, the sudden absence of it was a sharp painful sting of ice. Leaving him with a longing for contact that felt worse than if she hadn't touched him at all.
He finally pulled himself back to face her and was surprised to see her looking rather abashed. Her hands were sat back firmly on her thighs, gripping the fabric, a slight blush on her face, but... he could swearâŠwas there a hint of a smile on her pink lips? Her confounding beautiful lips.Â
Rolan opened his mouth to speak but once again words failed him. What could he say that wouldn't sound needy and desperate? How could he begin to ask her to continue to touch him without begging?
"Your tail felt very nice. Very soft. Sorry if I...went too far." Tav once again came to his rescue. This time rescuing him from the aching void of silence between them. Rolan blinked hard at her words. No one ever in the history of his knowledge had call his or anyone elseâs tail nice or soft. As he absorbed her judgement of his tail, he realized she was staring at him expectantly.
"No, it was fine. It felt... good." A sudden surge of his own boldness possessed him, born of the sheer desire at having her hands on him again. To feel her touch him; somewhere. Anywhere. He started speaking before he knew what he was saying. "The...horns, if you were curious about them as well, also have a certain level of sensitivity... Not necessarily at the tips, but the base..." He couldn't even believe the words coming out of his own mouth. Desire had driven him absolutely mad.
Before he could begin to second guess himself he saw that the spark that flared up in her eyes was immediate. Her hint of a smile grew into a full fledged one.
Tav leaned forward slightly again and her eyes darted up to his horns.
"May I?" She asked, raising her hands up from her thighs until they hovered just over his own. He gave a gentle nod, not trusting his own voice at the prospect of being touched again.
Without hesitation now her hands raised to each place her fingertips at the point of each horn. Rolan dipped his head forward slightly to give her better access, practically bowing towards her. His own reverence at her caring touches.
She placed her fingers gently on the tips of his horns, again tracing across the thicker bumps and ridges, feeling her way around every groove as she explored. After just a moment there, she gently slid further down from the tips, lower and lower until they were thick enough to wrap a hand around. As she did so Rolan sucked a sharp gasp of air in through taut lips. Not so much at the sensation; it was altogether different than the soft flesh of his tail, but at her willingness to touch him again.
The feeling of hands on his horns was more akin to someone brushing his hair, not that he would know what that felt like; but it was more about the way it trickled down to his actual flesh that gave him shivers. But the feeling of her so close to him again, her desire to touch him again, her tender soft hands on the harshest parts of him; that was what truly drove his senses wild and made his insides coil with hunger. The feeling of her hands gently caressing his horns sent shooting sparks of sweet sensation across his scalp and he found himself clamping his mouth shut hard again to avoid making another wanton noise.
Heeding his words she seemed to move quicker down than with his tail, but as she reached the midpoint of his horns she slowed, her grip growing more delicate and exploratory again. As her hands slid across the grooves with care the sensation, the pulsing in his skin, grew stronger and stronger until his breath hitched and his breathing grew heavy once more. He stared down at her lap, trying in vain not to look directly at her chest.
His own hands, which had been absurdly useless thus far, clutched hard against the fabric of his robe at his thighs, as another shiver rolled down his spine. He felt it flow all the way down through his tail again. His eyes shot down at it. His tail. His damned tail that started this whole thing, still carefully curled around her leg, seemed to tighten involuntarily at the shudder. He wasnât sure if he should be blessing or cursing that it seemed to have a mind of its own; operating purely on base instinct betraying his deepest thoughts and desires.
Her hands finally reached the base of his horns and tenderly traced the bumps from where they erupted from his skin, bringing forth another unintended deep groan of pleasure from the depths of his chest. At the noise his eyes darted back up to meet hers and he found her watching him intently, her lips parted slightly.
Thankfully, her hands didn't stray, undisturbed by his obvious, even lewd enjoyment of this. They stayed; soft, tender, and so caring on his flushed burning skin.
As her hands seemed to finish their careful explorations of the flesh at the base of his horns, he still had almost half-expected her to pull away. The game complete. The research done. A dark thought rolled through him before he could stop it that this was just a bit of fun for her. Teasing him like this.
But her hands lingered. He once again found her eyes, meeting them with a deep gaze as she slid her hands down, away from his horns until she was gently cupping his cheeks. Sparks shot through his entire body and his chest heaved, almost painfully so. The moment lingered, his fear and doubt still too deeply etched into his own skin in invisible scars to make a move first. A few weeks of comfort and a few moments of tender touching couldnât erase a lifetime of hardships and disappointments.
Thankfully, Tav, was still the more bold of the two of them. Her eyes darted obviously down to his slightly parted lips then back up to meet his as she licked her lips.
âRolan?â She breathed out softly.
He couldnât trust that his voice wouldnât shake. Couldnât trust that any possible utterance of words would snap this beautiful fantasy in two and she would dissolve. Couldnât trust that any noise he made would break whatever spell she was under and cause her to lean away. But she lingered, unwilling to move without word from him. He swallowed thickly again and replied.
âYes?â He finally managed to eke out with a small gasp.
âCan I kiss you?â
All of the air seemed to leave the room. She spoke so freely. So honestly. A slight hush in her words but only the tiniest hint of a quiver in her voice.
It contrasted so starkly with the tremble that coursed through his body. Of course he wanted her to kiss him. What kind of a question was that? He wanted it more than he needed to breathe. But somehow, the words out there, the possibility at hand, filled him with a deeper fear than he knew existed. A fear that threatened to overtake even his desire for her. A lingering voice that scolded him; âyou will never quite be good enough.â
She licked her lips again and Rolan finally found the courage to quell the voice once and for all. She gave him courage. She always had. She had been there for him when no one else was; not even himself. It had always been within him, the confidence, the desires; but she had been patient enough to slowly ease it out.
âYes, pleaseâŠâ He croaked out.
She leaned forward, hands still on his cheeks and placed a tender lingering kiss on his lips. The sensation of her caressing his tail was nothing compared to this. To the soft, slightly moist feeling of her warm lips pressed against his.
It sent another surge of confidence and unleashed passion coursing through his body. He could already feel his tail tightening around her leg again. His hands, trembling with anticipation and desire before, useless on his lap, now reached forward, reaching for her, eager to pull her close.
The kiss deepened, spurred on by his reaction; Tav opened her mouth, welcoming him in and leaned in further. His hands found her waist, gripping it tight as her own tongue replied to his, dancing carefully over and around his pointed teeth.
Rolan couldnât help but groan slightly as his body lit up with sparks, every sensation he had ever felt, good or bad, seemed to pale in comparison to this divine moment. Her mouth hot against his, their breath mingling. He found his stomach was flipping over, and there was a deep aching stir in the very core of his body. Tav leaned even closer, practically in his lap now even though her hips still firmly sat on the couch beneath them.
He struggled to keep up with her tongue at first. Hers was so careful and precise and he felt sloppy and careless, sweeping along her lips and occasionally fumbling out of them as he struggled to keep up and simultaneously rushed to catch up; kissing her like it was his first and last kiss. All messy and nervous and wet and eager.
Patient as ever, Tav slowed, giving them both a moment to find the right flow, adjusting her head to tip it to the side so they could lock lips fully. He breathed out a pleased sigh into her mouth as they found a pleasant connection, leaving their awkward tongues behind.
Confidence again surging, he tugged at her hips with a new found greedy need. Greedy. He once teased her with that very word, but now very much felt the acute actuality of the word itself. He was greedy for her. He needed more of her. Now that he had been given a taste, he felt practically insatiable.
Catching note of his eager tugs, without question or request now, Tav lifted up her legs and straddled his lap, letting his body adjust to sit back against the couch. The new position allowed a new level of closeness. Her body pressed fully against his now, his pulse pounding hard between them.
Rolan felt positively dizzy. Giddy even; and that was not a word he felt he had ever used or thought of using before. He wrapped his arms fully around her back now, taking advantage of the closeness to run his hands up and down her clothed spine. His tail had released her leg at her movement and now joined his hands at her waist, resting almost scandalously against the swell of her ass. Her own hands drifted down from his face, resting on his shoulders and gently playing with the edges of his hair that rested there.
He released another shuddering moan into the kiss, feeling her body sink deeper onto his, his body still lighting up in sensations he felt he never knew before. As his mind hurried to catch up to the evolving situation and new desires continued blooming within, one thing quickly became achingly clear. Much as his tail betrayed him before, he now felt a throbbing hardness hidden under the layer of his robes and pants. He had felt it pulse and twitch earlier at her careful caresses, but now with her intentions laid bare, the situation far from friendly, and her body pressed against his, there was no denying it as the blood rushed ever further down into his groin.
For a brief moment he felt as if he was almost searching for new things to fear to ignore the comfort and passion of their kisses. As perceptive as ever, Tav seemed to notice this new wave of nerves. That, or he realized, she couldnât help but feel his erection pressed against her due to their proximity. She finally eased her mouth away from his, allowing them both to suck in a few much needed gulps of air.
Catching his eye and leaning her forehead close to his, he felt her adjust and give a long slow roll of her hips against his hardness.
Even through the many layers of fabric the sensation of pure pleasure that tore through him was undeniable. An unmistakably vulgar groan fell from his lips before he could quell it and he felt his eyelids flutter. Tav simply smiled, and repeated the motion, spreading her knees as wide as they could go to push her hips further against him.
Rolan trembled with delight; his mind once again racing to catch up to this new development. But as his mind looked for ways to worry about this, he found himself coming up blank. The unrelenting lust and passion of the situation finally staking claim on all of his senses. It felt so good. Too good to ignore or deny further.
Another roll of her hips had his heart racing at the unimaginable level of pleasure just the mere friction of her body pressing against his made him feel. She moved more purposefully now, without pause or hesitation, grinding her very core, her own heat, against him. Her goal it seemed, lay in far more carnal pleasures than just simply driving him mad.
He dipped a hand under the edge of her loose tunic as she continued to writhe against him, and he splayed his hand across her naked back. Savoring again the feeling of her flesh against his.
It was miraculous. It was indecent. It was passionate. It was lewd. But most importantly in his head, above all else â it just felt so fucking good.
âTavâŠâ He groaned, unable and now finally unafraid of holding back his vocal enjoyment at this point. âIf you keep going...I...Iâm going...toâŠâ Each word came out punctuated by a heavy gasping breath. He was fully panting now, the sheer ecstasy at feeling her rut against him, at the friction rubbing against his hard cock, at the entire situation really â all already so close to pushing him over the edge.
Her response was immediate. She paused her rocking and pulled back a touch to look him square in the eye. There was not a trace of annoyance in her face; just pure care for him. For his comfort.
âDo you want me to stop?â She asked, a little breathless. His throat burned. The immediacy of her response to him. Her unfaltering care for his feelings. The genuine and absolute respect. It struck him hard in the chest and felt almost as painful as the sudden loss of her delicious movements.
His eyes met hers. Part of him realized how improper this all was. He should be lavishing her with flowers and gifts. He supposed. He didnât have much experience with it, but came to understand that was the thing to do during proper courtships. But a deeper part of him didnât care. The city was in crumbles around them. They had defeated an army of mind-flayers and he himself had been to hell and back. To the hells with what was proper. He had tied his life to being stifled and composed; there was a time and place for it and now was neither.
âNo, please donât stop.â He finally breathed out. She grinned and leaned back in for another sweeping kiss, immediately resuming the pulsing and rocking of her hips against his. His entire body filled to the brim with burning fire again and another loud moan fell from his lips and the return of the sensation that was bringing him to the brink.
Tav was moaning too, he realized, soft breathy sounds, her breath hot against his ears. Provoked by the idea that she was possibly getting even a tiniest bit of the same level of pleasure from this that he was, he sat up slightly. He wrapped his arms fully around her, drawing her closer and holding her tight.
All last thoughts of maintaining composure well and fully gone, he thrust his groin up in time with her own movements. It took him a moment to find the right rhythm, the practice of movements such as this not in his natural repertoire. But before long they synced up in unison and increased the pace.
âYes. Tav. Please. Tav. Please. Yes.â Words spilled from his lips with each jerking movement as the sensation within him built to a feverish peak. As the tingling feeling crested within him, at the last moments, all words seem to fail. Only moans and salacious grunts remained.
His grip tightened around her waist, one clawed hand grasping at her shirt, the other leaving scratches on her bare back as his body begin to coil and tense. It was the moment just before a spell releases, that last uttered syllable as it traveled from throat to teeth to air, bringing forth all kinds of magic into existence. He met her eyes again and she was that moment.
Her face was flush from her exertions, her pupils blown wide, staring at him with pure desire, her absolute and incessant need to take care of him. Him.
A last roll of her hips and he was done. He cried out obscenely as his tension released and he came so hard that his head spun. His cock pulsed, pressed hard between them, spilling his seed in his pants beneath his robe. As waves of his orgasm crested and rolled through his shaking and sputtering body, he felt his whole body begin to release in a way he didnât think was possible. He tossed his head back to lean on the back of the couch it seemed like every muscle in his body went limp at once. He indeed thought he might pass out with the way his heart pounded in his chest and he sucked in deep gasps of air; thinking he might never catch his breath.
Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind he thought of the mess he had made, in his own clothes no less, but it was quickly overtaken by the feeling of Tav leaning close, looking to close the gap he had created by sinking into the couch.
She placed a wet kiss against the throbbing pulse of his neck and nuzzled her face there while he rode out the high of his own selfish, greedy pleasure.
After a moment of deep breathing and bliss, his heart started to calm and points of panic and fear started to creep back into his mind one by one. He adjusted his head slightly to sit up, needing to face her. Feeling him move, Tav sat up further as well to meet his eyes, but made no move to climb down off his lap.
âCan I still take you to dinner?â He asked quickly as their eyes met, addressing the most pressing of his concerns; that this was just a little fling. He pulled his hand back out of her shirt, wanting this to feel as formal and romantic as possible now, given the situation. Tav smiled brightly and gave an eager nod, leaning in for a quick, and rather chaste, kiss.
âI would be a little offended if you didnât.â She raised a brow at him. âHow about tonight?â She suggested and he once again reveled in her boldness. A quality, he quite felt, that was rubbing off on him.
Rolan cleared his throat; it would be next to impossible to regain full composure after what they had done, but he still tried.
âYes. Grand. Wonderful. Great. We shall...um⊠have dinner tonight then.â He said, sounding almost curt in his attempt to seem collected.
Tav was utterly unfazed by his tone and gave him another smile and a tender kiss on his lips before starting to try and disentangle herself from his hands and tail, intending on standing up.
Despite the embarrassing mess in his pants, despite the awkwardness of the situation, despite her trying to start to pull away; he found himself pulling her back. His whole body, not just his tail this time, speaking for him and refusing to let her go. He pulled her back in tightly and pressed his cheek to hers, letting his eyes shut with a soft sigh as her warm body enveloped his.
Tav paused a moment before giving in and wrapped her arms around his neck, relaxing herself back into his arms.
âCan we justâŠstay like this a moment more?â He whispered softly into her neck before he lost the courage to do so. He found himself struck with a deep fear at letting her go. It overtook any apprehension he felt about actually giving his feelings a voice. What if she didnât come back? What if something happened to her? What it what if what it. But, most striking among his worry, was the ache he could already feel at lack of contact. Now that he had felt her touch he didnât think he could survive without it.
âAs long as you like.â Tav whispered back with a smile against his cheek.
607 notes
·
View notes
supermodel | part two
part one
pairing: choi beomgyu x you
summary: after finding out one of your closest friends sabotaged your relationship with beomgyu in hopes of having him all to herself, you end up spending a night with him. you may come to regret it when you realize beomgyu may not have been as innocent as he initially seemed.
genre: romance, angst, MELODRAMA, yandere, smut (MDNI!!!)
warnings: MDNI!!! yandere!gyu (super manipulative!gyu at least), more (justified imo) cheating, unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, praise, degradation, pregnancy kink, voyeurism (ig?), dom!gyu, sub!gyu, if i'm missing anything lmk
word count: 6.2k
notes: alright ;_; after much debate i'm reposting this probably only for a few days just so everyone who wanted to read can read it before i (probably) delete again! posting this made me feel rlly insecure for some reason but thanks to my moots and anons i feel a lot better ab it :) at least for a little bit. also, i know the direction may have taken quite the turn but this is genuinely just how it came out đ if you don't like it i'm sorry ( àœÍ ⧠àœÍ )
itâs hard to reason with beomgyu as he presses hot kisses down your neck, but itâs not like youâre not trying. you think youâre trying really hard, actually, but itâs nothing in comparison to the effort heâs putting in to make you lose your mind. you have no control over your moans when he sucks a hickey into your neck. you feel heat pooling in your stomach as he grabs your ass and snakes his other hand up your hoodie to catch one of your hardened nipples between his fingers. heâs finally tasted you and, like a man starved, heâll be damned before someone takes away whatâs his.
âb-beomie, we canât! letâs go back to my place, at least,â you try to reason, but your resolve is weakening as you feel your pussy wetten under his caresses.Â
âshh, hanaâs not gonna be home tonight,â he whispers. âjust want you so bad, canât wait.â he looks so earnest, you canât bear to part from him. his puppy eyes look devastated, so what else can you do besides relent? and he knows it, too. now heâs got you.Â
he leads you to hanaâs bedroom, where heâs spent countless nights listening to her talk about how much she loves him, has loved him for years. he wants to roll his eyes at this, but he doesnât want you to misunderstand, so he keeps it to himself. heâll admit, she really did pull the wool over his eyes when she said you didnât like him, so he canât wait to see her reaction when she realizes you two have finally figured it out. if she wants to play dirty, they can both try their hand and see who wins.Â
and it feels an awful lot like heâs winning when he sees you undress once again, body bare with traces of him on every part of you. even if he hadnât marked you up so much, and he has, thereâs still evidence of his impact on you leaking out of your pussy. you letting him come inside was truly unexpected, but welcome, nonetheless. he knows, when youâve sobered up from your lustful daze, youâll ask him if heâs ever fucked hana raw. youâll probably cry again and rush to get plan b, but heâll tell you heâs not stupid. heâd never fuck anyone without protection, especially someone he likes as little as he likes hana. he just likes you so much, he couldnât help but want to feel you. youâre everything he dared to wish you would be. even better, actually, and now that heâs tasted you, he never wants to stop.Â
the feeling of wanting to be close to you reemerges when he sees you dropping to your knees for him. you fiddle with the zipper of his pants and he sighs when cool air meets his bare cock. and you're so perfect with your makeup smudged, hair in disarray, and mouth open, prettily presented for fucking.
you start with a lick of your lips and heâs already rock hard from the anticipation. you grab his base and tease little licks up and down his length. he never thought heâd be particularly into that, really, but you look so hungry for him it makes him whine. finally, you lick the precum off of his tip and he moans when you shallowly take in the tip of his cock, hollowing out your cheeks. you bob your head shallowly and itâs taking every ounce of self control he has not to grab the back of your head and shove himself down your throat. but he doesnât want to hurt you, so he lets you tease him. for now, at least. you take more and more of him into your warm mouth until you can feel his tip searing the back of your throat. you canât possibly fit all of him into your mouth, so you take the rest of him in your hands. you look up at him with watery eyes, almost like youâre asking for his approval, and his already thinning patience snaps. he grabs your hair and pumps himself in and out of you. you try to meet his thrusts with teasing swipes of your tongue, never once breaking eye contact. the combination of your gaze and the sight of your drool mixed with his precum dripping out of your mouth drives him crazy.Â
âbaby, look, youâre drooling all over my cock.â you hum in agreement, but a nasty thought crosses his mind as he remembers that you almost went out with another man tonight.
âmmm, who taught you how to use that slutty little mouth?â he asks, riling himself up for reasons unknown. the thought of someone else seeing you like this is enough to push him to madness. he fucks himself into your mouth mercilessly. youâre coughing and slobbering all over his cock, but itâs only when hot tears pour down your face that he registers what heâs doing. how can he bear to hurt you? he pulls out and youâre gasping for air.Â
âshh, itâs okay, youâre okay. câmere,â he coos, leading you to the bed.
you lay down shakily and he takes a moment just to admire your body and the work heâs done to it. he canât control the want in his gaze when he sees your pussy dripping on hanaâs comforter. itâs sick to see, in a way, but it excites him even more.Â
âturn around,â he commands, and you would, you really, really would, but your limbs feel so weak, itâs a chore. he sighs and roughly turns you on your stomach himself. he manhandles you into kneeling on all fours and itâs all you can do not to buckle under such force, but you canât deny the way it makes your pussy clench around nothing when he does this. as if he can read your mind, he lets out a soft laugh as he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes himself in. youâve obviously just fucked, but youâre still as tight and hot as the first time. slowly, he feels you stretch and spasm to accommodate his length â pussy gripping him like a vise. he shakes when he feels himself completely sheathed in you.Â
âg-good girl,â he praises. âso good for me.â then, without giving you another moment to adjust, he begins thrusting into you. his hips meet your ass and heâs awestruck by the sight of it as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix relentlessly. as heâs pumping into your heat, you donât mean for your arms to give out from under you, but they do. heâs just fucking you so good you canât help but feel weak. he chuckles at how youâre becoming undone after just a few strokes, but truthfully? heâs endeared. you were so brave in talking back to him earlier, but that attitude is completely gone as you lay there and let him take you over and over again.Â
ânghh⊠not so hard, beomie,â you moan.Â
âis it good, baby? i can feel you milking my cock. tell me itâs good, or iâll stop,â he threatens.
âmmm, âs good! too good!â! you cry.
youâre so busy moaning out beomgyuâs name with your face mashed in the pillows, you really donât hear the apartment door open and keys being thrown carelessly on the table, but as for beomgyu? he hears it all and it brings a mean, lopsided grin to his face. youâd think he would, at the very least, slow down, but he only rams harder and harder into you. the sound of wetness and skin slapping skin echo throughout the room. hana really wasnât supposed to be home, this much is true, but what beomgyu didnât tell you is that she had texted him saying her plans have changed and that he should come over. truly, he couldnât have conjured up a better outcome than the one unfolding before him.
âbeomgyu?!â hana shrieks. youâre so surprised you nearly jump out of beomgyuâs grasp, but he holds your ass in place as he continues his thrusts.
âdonât listen to her, just feel me,â he says in a raspy tone. and what can you do besides listen when he drills himself even harder into you? when you feel the veins of his cock dragging against your insides, youâre tuning out hanaâs desperate cries, intentionally or not.
âcoming inside, okay?â he, well, you would say âasksâ, but itâs more of a statement of fact rather than a question. âtake it all, baby,â he says as his hips begin to stutter. he smacks your ass â just because he can â and you feel it pulsate throughout your entire body as you clench around him, seeing nothing but white behind your eyelids as your release finally comes along with his.
youâre gasping for air when you finish. he carefully pulls out and watches as your cum and his mix together in the most sinful way. itâs a truly a sight to see, and if he had more time, he would be whipping out his phone and capturing the moment to revisit the next time heâs alone, but hanaâs words are cutting into his bliss before he can fully appreciate the sight before him.
âb-beomie? w-whatâs going on?â hana asks, tears streaming unabashedly down her pretty face. beomgyu is far too preoccupied to appreciate them, though, as he gently helps you sit up and thoughtfully wipes the drool and tears off of your face.Â
ââwhatâs going on?ââ he begins mockingly. âdo you really need me to show you again?â he sneers.Â
meanwhile, you feel like a deer in headlights as you meet hanaâs gaze. you feel dirty and small as you try your damndest to cover yourself up. hanaâs soft eyes harden while she stares at you.Â
âyou. you did this, you fucking slut,â she spits. you break your gaze and stare down at your naked body. you feel incredibly vulnerable because, as you already know, sheâs right. you feel your eyes heat up with tears, this time from guilt and humiliation rather than pleasure.
âyouâd better watch your fucking mouth,â beomgyu says, eyebrows furrowed and voice even deeper than usual.Â
âi just donât understand. why? why her? and how could you do this to me? you said you loved me!â she shrieks, grabbing beomgyuâs arm. he harshly pulls away and instead collects your sweats and hoodie. you canât help but stare. he said he loved her then he turned around and fucked you? oh no.Â
âwell, i lied, if thatâs not clear enough,â he shrugs, gingerly dressing you like youâre some kind of catatonic doll. and, right now, you might as well be as you let him do what he wants. his callous words donât match his gentle actions and itâs making your brain short-circuit.Â
âif and when he does the same shit to you,â she says, looking at you with more hurt than youâve ever seen on a person, âdonât you fucking dare come crying to me. or any of our friends, actually. just wait âtil they hear what you fucking did.â you shiver at her ominous words. sheâs right, after all. beomgyu dropped her the second you showed interest in him, whoâs to say he wonât do the same to you? sure, heâs acting lovey dovey now, but youâve seen firsthand how quickly his tune can change. youâre absolutely fucked. itâs your word against hers, and with the evidence of your betrayal seeping into her sheets, you donât like your odds. you canât help but stare at beomgyu, and, as if heâs reading your mind, he says his next words patiently.
âi love you. i would never hurt you like this.â he loves you now? you continue to look at him doubtfully. his words seem cheap after hanaâs unforgiving speech, and he realizes heâs losing you when you donât respond. hana doesnât stop there, though.
âif he did this to me, i canât wait to see what heâll do to you,â she laughs. hana is, objectively speaking, a lot more of a catch than you are. and to the very bitter end, she wonât let you fucking forget it.
âshut your fucking mouth!â he exclaims and she flinches, as do you. youâve never seen him so angry and itâs enough to scare you.Â
â... i should go,â you croak.
âyeah, you should,â hana ridicules. you do an incredibly shaky walk of shame as you quickly gather your things.Â
âhey, wait!â he pleads, but youâre already booking it out of the door. he goes to run after you, but hana grabs him forcefully by his shoulder and he spins around to face her. you slam the door, not wanting to know what kind of makeup sex they will probably be having relatively soon. as soon as youâre gone, hana begins.
âare you fucking crazy? her, of all people?!â she hisses.
âi thought i told you to watch how you talk about her,â he says lowly. his eyes are so intense, sheâs momentarily stunned, but heâs crazy if he thinks thatâll shut her up. perhaps to her eventual regret, she says her next words.
âif i tell everyone, sheâll be fucking ruined. sheâll have nobody after this.âÂ
âso?âÂ
âso, stay with me,â she says softly, while, to his disgust, grabbing his hands and pleading with him. âstay with me, and i wonât tell anybody.â she looks as pathetic as a dog right now, and her words make him laugh in her face.
âtell them,â he says.Â
âw-what?â she sputters.
âtell them all. i want you to tell them how i fucked one of your best friends and got her pregnant. tell them how i fucked her raw in your own bed. go on, iâd love to see their reactions when they find out.âÂ
âyouâre⊠youâre fucking crazy,â she gasps.
âmaybe, but not crazy enough to stay with you,â he shrugs. âi got what i wanted, i donât need you anymore.â for once, she shuts her mouth. the puzzle pieces finally fit together and her jaw drops in awe.
âyou did this on purpose?âÂ
âmaybe youâre not as dumb as you look,â he sneers, and with that, he zips up his pants and pats her cheek. âyou were okay in bed, but thatâs about it.âÂ
her tears are falling, but that does nothing to mar her beauty. still, his heart remains unfazed.Â
âwhen she finds out, sheâll leave you,â she sobs.
âand who will she believe? her ex friend whoâs out to get her, or me? the only person she has left? iâd love to see who she believes.â his words leave her in even more tears, but he does nothing to placate her. he just grabs his shit and slams the door behind him.
-
hana wastes no time in telling your friends about your scandal. your incoming texts range from âwhat the fuck is wrong with youâ to âis it true?â to âyouâd better not show your face to us againâ.
you attempt to explain yourself, but to no avail. even if hana lied to you first, you committed the ultimate betrayal with a smile on your face. nobody wants to hear your sob story about your forbidden love with beomgyu. nobody, not even your best friend, dares to defend you now.
the one person whoâs on your side has been texting you relentlessly, though. beomgyuâs insistence on making sure youâre okay does little to quell the uneasiness in your heart. hanaâs words resound in your head. âif he did this to me, i canât wait to see what he does to you.â you donât want to give him that chance, but your resolve is weakening when you feel yourself becoming more and more isolated from the people you used to call your friends.Â
for days, you donât leave your house except to go to work. where else can you go? you donât have anyone to go out with you anymore. still, beomgyu texts and attempts to call you through it all. his messages are all about how much he loves you, how much he misses you, how much he needs you. how much he promises to make things right with you and how youâre the only one heâs wanted all along. more and more, you feel yourself slipping away. even though you never respond, you still sift through his messages and itâs enough to bring smiles, no matter how small, to your face. he loves you, wants you, needs you. who else do you have in your life to say things like that to you?Â
still, the thought of trusting him scares you to your bones. what if he does the same shit to you? you donât have a support system anymore. you donât have anybody to rely on when he inevitably hurts you in the same way. why wouldn't he, after all? youâre no match for the kind of girls who come his way. what happens when he gets sick of you and wants to fuck another girl in your bed? youâre stuck with these thoughts as you nurse a bottle of vodka, alone in your apartment with nobody but yourself. this is what you deserve, you think.Â
a knock on your door is enough to pull you out of your drunken haze. is it one of your friends? could they have finally gotten over their intial shock and disgust and understood that you didnât mean for any of this to happen the way it did? you stumble to the door and youâre too drunk to even think about checking who it is before desperately swinging open the door. you are not met with the familiar face of one of your friends, however. instead, you see the face of the boy whoâs been haunting your dreams for the past few nights.
âbeomgyu?â he looks absolutely devastated, eyes reddened and wet with his face ghostly pale. he reeks of alcohol and he stands almost tremblingly. he doesnât respond to you, just stares at you with the same intensity that entranced you from the very beginning.
âwhat are you doing here?â you ask.Â
âcan i come in? please?â youâve never been able to say no to him, and you especially canât in his current pathetic state. you move from the doorway to allow him access and quietly shut the door behind him.
âwhat do you want?â you try.
âwant you,â he sobs, tears finally flowing from his sad brown eyes. âonly ever wanted you.â your heart aches when you see him like this. you thought hanaâs reaction was devastating enough, but he looks absolutely wrecked right now, putting her despair to shame, really.Â
âi donât know what to say,â you admit. âwe fucked up, plain and simple. and i donât know how i can trust you after what we did.â youâre not a victim in this, to be clear, but youâre far too vulnerable to accept the heart that he's holding out for you so carelessly.Â
âi know, and i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. what can i do to make you trust me?â he begs. your already soft heart softens even more at his words, but you have to be realistic.
âi⊠i donât think i can. if you had just talked to me in the first place things could've been different,â you reason. this only puts the boy in an even worse state. heâs almost wailing now, and he looks to you for comfort.
âp-please, just please. give me one chance,â he cries, looking absolutely frantic. âiâll prove it to you, just let me.â he reaches for your face and you didnât even realize youâre crying until he swipes away your tears. well, youâre already going to hell. whatâs the point in atoning for your sins now?Â
as if he can read your mind, he musters up a shaky smile before leaning in and giving you a chaste kiss. his lips taste salty, but sweet, and heâs kissing you with a passion youâve never felt before. you almost believe him when he says youâre the only one. almost.
âh-how do i know youâre not going to do the same thing to me?â you ask unsteadily.Â
âi would never,â he says immediately. âi would never hurt you.â at least, not like this. but you donât know that yet.Â
-
in the weeks following his drunken appearance at your door, being with beomgyu is even better than you thought it would be. itâs like a switch has been turned back on and heâs back to treating you like a princess, almost like the months since your âbreakupâ never happened. he randomly brings you flowers, showers you with kisses, and he canât seem to keep his hands off of you along with declarations of love, which you never directly reciprocate. no matter how well he treats you, though, thereâs an underlying sense of unease. you still find it difficult to fully trust him, and he can tell. itâs driving him to the brink of madness trying to come up with ways to show you how much he cares.
youâre in the middle of pensively reevaluating the nature of your relationship with beomgyu for the 100th time when you hear a knock on your door. at this point, you don't even bother checking who it is because you already know it'll be beomgyu. no matter how desperately you wish it were one of your ex-friends, youâre always met with his face, instead. you open the door and youâre shocked, to put it mildly. standing before you is not the beomgyu you know and (probably) love, but hana.
âwe need to talk,â she grumbles. almost as if youâre possessed, you let her in without much fuss. is she here to rekindle your friendship? to tell you sheâll forgive you after what youâve done to her?Â
âhana, listen iâm so incredibly sorââÂ
âsave it,â she says, lifting her hand. âiâm only here âcause i have something i need to say to you. it took me weeks to come here because i donât even wanna look at you.â you gulp and nod, genuinely anxious as to what she has in store for you.
âiâm just going to tell you straight up. beomgyuâs not who you think he is,â she deadpans.Â
âw-what do you mean?â if sheâs talking about how heâll eventually betray you, youâve already thought of that. why she thinks this is news to you, you donât know.
âlisten to me, he planned this whole fucking thing.â what could she possibly mean by that? he planned to get caught by her? that doesnât even make sense. âi told him iâd be home the night that i walked in on you.â your jaw drops in horror, but she continues as if she doesnât notice.
âi think⊠i think he heard us over the phone and knew youâd be there before meeting with jay. he told me he wanted our friends to find out and to see who youâd believe if i told you. whether you believe me or not, i really donât give a fuck, but itâs true. he said he got what he wanted, so he doesnât need me anymore.â she chokes on her last words and you can't help but feel sorry for her, but that feeling is overshadowed by the feelings of anger towards beomgyu. you donât think hana would lie about this. she looks so flustered and heartbroken, you donât believe for a second that sheâs lying just to rile you up. before you can reply, the door opens and beomgyuâs figure appears in your doorway. he has a smile on his face, but it drops lightning fast when he sees whoâs standing there.
âwhat the fuck are you doing here?â he says with a scowl.
âiâm on my way out,â hana mumbles, pushing past him. he doesnât even attempt to stop her. he registers the mixed emotions on your face and he can guess what she said to you without much effort.
âlet me explain,â he says lowly, already heading towards you to placate you like youâre some sort of wild animal he has to coax. and youâre so angry, you might as well be.
âexplain what? that you ruined my fucking life?â you spit. he flinches at your tone, even more so at your next words. âwhat i donât understand is why? is my life a fucking game to you?â his face crumbles at this.Â
ân-no! never!â he sputters.
âthen what is this? whatâs your reason for planning for hana to walk in us? is this a kink or something?â he shakes his head frantically.Â
âyou donât understand, i just wanted it to be us,â he pleads. âi donât like them. theyâll just try to take you away from me.âÂ
âtake me away from them? beomgyu, iâm not some fucking toy. iâm a person. a person whose life you fucking ruined for no reason!â you exclaim. youâre so frustrated you could cry, so you do. does he not realize how badly he fucked you over? âyou promised youâd never hurt me,â you sob.
âi-i did it for us! they wouldnât care about how we feel⊠theyâd just take hanaâs side without even thinking about it!â he argues, grabbing your hands. you want to pull away, but if you do, that means youâll be completely alone.Â
âyou didnât even give them a chance,â you reason. ânow itâs really over,â you say between sobs. âi⊠i couldâve talked to them, but you ruined it!âÂ
âi just want you all to myself, is that so bad?â he asks, as if he genuinely can't understand why youâre so upset. heâs actually sick in the head.
âwhy?!â you ask again, ripping your hands from his grasp.
âbecause i love you,â he says desperately. âi just love you so much. iâm sorry, iâll never do anything like this again,â he promises.Â
âyeah, you wonât,â you reply bitterly. âbecause i wonât give you that chance.âÂ
âw-what do you mean?â he asks, lips trembling and eyes red.
âiâm not doing this with you anymore. this whole thing was doomed from the start,â you reply firmly. he shakes his head as if denying it with fervor will undo what youâve said, tears now flowing freely from his reddened eyes.
âno, p-please,â he cries. âi only did it because i love you so much. ever since i first saw you, i only ever wanted to be with you. i⊠i know i fucked up, but it was the only way. believe me, please.â your already soft heart is softening even more as you listen to the desperation in his voice. he sounds so lost and scared, as if he really doesnât know what heâll do if you tell him no. you briefly wonder if heâs ever heard the words: âno, beomgyu. youâve gone too far this time.â but as you watch him come undone before you, you donât think youâll be able to be the one who tells him no, anyway.Â
âiâm giving you one, and i mean one, last chance. if you fuck up this time, i promise you, youâll never see me again,â you declare. you don't know what youâre expecting, really, but the sight of even more tears streaming down his face is not it. he grabs you and pulls you in his warm and trembling embrace.
âth-thank you,â he cries. âyou wonât regret this.âÂ
âiâd better not,â you mumble. even if you do, you canât deny the way your heart skips a beat at his pure, unadulterated need for you. even if you do come to regret it, itâs impossible to look at him right now and say heâs not being sincere. he pulls away from you and hurriedly captures your mouth, and as if your next words will take back what you said, he seals them in your throat before you can manage to get anything more out. as the kiss becomes more heated, you feel something hard and angry poking into your stomach.
âalready?â you tease. he actually blushes at this.
âcanât help it. need you,â he replies sheepishly.Â
âyou need me, huh? is that why youâve been so bad?â you ask, palming him deliciously through his pants.
ân-not bad! just love you so much, couldnât stop myself.â your temper actually flares a little at this. you palm him more harshly and his breath catches when you do.
âreally? but youâve been so bad, i donât think you deserve me,â you say menacingly, pulling your hand away. he audibly whimpers at this.
âno, no, no, please! iâll be good from now on,â he pleads as he grabs your hand and begins to snake it under the waistband of his pants. you let him, but you donât take his hardened length into your hand like you usually would. instead, you tease the sensitive area around it, even going so far as to ghost your fingers over his balls, but you conveniently avoid giving him any sort of friction or attention, so heâs gasping when you give him a mean and unexpected tug.Â
âp-please stop teasing me,â he cries, eyes so beautiful and watery. âi know iâve been bad, but i can make you feel so good.â heâs right, in a way. youâve never and will never feel as good as you do when beomgyu pumps into you and shoots his hot load in your pussy, but heâs deranged if he thinks youâll let him have you so easily tonight. not after what heâs done.
âhmm, iâm not so sure about that,â you hum. you lead him to your bedroom as if heâs hypnotized. you havenât even let him enter you yet, if youâre going to let him do so at all, but heâs already acting like heâs drunk on you.Â
âstrip,â you command simply. without any questions or doubts, he eagerly takes off his hoodie and shoves his pants down, stepping out of them and closer to you. itâs sickeningly sweet to see how possessed he is by you. he tries to take your own clothes off, but you smack his hand away.Â
âbad boy,â you say, and he whines like a dog. âlay down.â he does what you say, lying completely exposed on your bed as he gives a few pulls on his throbbing cock. âstop fucking touching yourself or youâre not getting anything from me,â you add, and he whines even louder.Â
âplease touch me,â he begs, cock standing all red and weeping.Â
âyou donât deserve it,â you shrug. you take off your pants and he leches at the image of your pussy dripping wet for him, and so soon. all he can think about is how warm it is and how fervently he wants to be in it. he thinks youâre going to sit on his cock, because that would be the most natural course of action, but all you do is lay next to him and pull something out of your nightstand drawer. a vibrator. are you fucking serious?Â
âno!â he begs, already knowing how this is going to go.
âyou can take what you get from me or you can beat it,â you bite back. that shuts him up. heâs biting his lip, trying not to get scolded again, but he canât help but whine again when you spread your legs and turn your vibrator on.Â
âah,â you moan as the rubber tip hits your clit. âfeels so good.âÂ
âiâd feel better,â he insists, eyes widened and desperate like a madman.Â
âtouch yourself,â you say in response. âi'm not touching that dirty cock of yours, so take care of it yourself.â he doesnât need to be told twice. he immediately spits on his hand and begins to wildly jerk his weeping cock. he whines at the friction. you, however, are so lost in the feeling of the vibrations pulsating throughout your pussy, you couldnât seem to care less about what he does. this only makes him whine even louder. heâs experiencing pleasure, sure, but the sounds coming from him are exaggerated and theatrical. heâs just trying to get a rise out of you. he just wants you to look at him, is that too much to ask?
you open your eyes at his petulant noise and say your next words so quietly, if he wasnât paying more attention, heâd miss them. âkiss me.â so he does. the kiss is filthy and nothing more than the tangling of tongues, but that combined with the stimulation on your poor pussy is enough to make you near the edge.Â
beomgyu can tell youâre close, and his kisses become even more heated as he abuses his cock under his hand. heâs moaning into your mouth, showing you, in no uncertain terms, just how badly he wants to be in you instead.Â
âlet me do it,â he begs. âcome around me, instead. itâll feel so much better.â his dirty words break you out of your trance and you annoyedly shut the vibrator off while tossing it god knows where. you tear his hand away from his cock and mount him, teasingly rubbing yourself against him, but refusing to put it in. he whines and pouts, but youâre far too busy trying to get yourself off to appease him. then, as if heâs possessed, he raises his hips and his tip catches on your entrance. you both gasp at his shallow intrusion.Â
âp-please sit on it, it hurts,â he asks rather pathetically.Â
âi canât, beomie. you havenât even fingered me yet â youâll break me in half,â you say provocatively. he whimpers at the imagery. âand you've been so bad, how can i let you get what you want? youâll never learn if i do that.âÂ
âiâve learned! i promise, iâve learned! just, please, help me,â he cries, bucking his hips up and holding your waist so hard youâll know heâll leave bruises.Â
âmmm, i donât knowwww,â you drawl.
âplease!â and with that, you angle your hips and begin to sink on his thick length. the stretch burns and you canât help but cry out as you feel your pussy enveloping every inch of him mercilessly. heâs in tears when he feels you throbbing around him, pussy stretching to accommodate how big he is. when you finally, finally take him all in, he canât help but begin to fuck into you wantonly.Â
âb-beomie, slow down!âÂ
âc-canât! feels so good,â he says, tears streaming down his pretty face. he grabs your waist even tighter and flips you around so youâre lying beneath him. his cock continues to hammer into you and youâre seeing stars. his mouth is open, drool pooling out of the corners of his lips, and heâs moaning out your name like a prayer.
âpussy so good, so perfect,â he babbles. âmissed this. missed feeling you like this.âÂ
âi missed it too,â you admit.Â
âwanted you, wanted you for so long,â he continues. you donât even think he knows what heâs saying, but you can tell he means every word. he reaches to your stomach and presses down where his cock is ramming into you. your eyes roll back at the pleasure that comes with the pressure.Â
âmy baby could be in here,â he muses. âour baby.â this should scare you into sobriety, but it does nothing of the sort. you find yourself tightening even further at the thought of him breeding you like a bitch.Â
âiâll take care of you, i swear,â he says as he thrusts so hard your head nearly meets the headboard. âiâll give you everything you need. sh-shit, baby, wanna fill you up so good you feel me for days,â those words in addition to his sloppy thrusts are what send you over the edge. you clench around him and he hisses at how youâre even tighter than usual. you feel his thrusts become even more sporadic and heâs emptying himself into you unceremoniously. as he softens, he pulls out and you wince at the feeling. to your surprise, he moves down to your pussy and begins to lap up all of the cum like a starving animal. then, he pulls you in for one last nasty kiss.Â
-
you donât know if you necessarily trust beomgyu, but itâs hard not to at least try to when he basically prostrates himself in front of you on a daily basis. he lets you walk all over him, really. if you call him, he comes running. if youâre mad or upset, he soothes you. when youâre being unreasonable, he reasons, anyway. you still havenât heard from your friends, but youâre starting to accept the fact that you never will. he introduces you to his friends, and surprisingly, they actually welcome you with open arms. apparently, they didnât like hana very much and knew beomgyu always had a thing for you. youâre not sure how to feel about that, but youâre flattered, nonetheless.Â
you call beomgyu crazy, and maybe he is, but he always says it's because he's crazy in love with you. you want to playfully smack him when he says such cheesy words, but you're starting to really believe him.
697 notes
·
View notes
Want | Sanji x Chubby! Reader
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Chubby! Reader
WC: 5.5k
Genre: Fluff, slight Angst
Warnings: Sexual harrasment, derogatory terms for chubby people, mentions of blood, insecurities that lead to a bit of light self derogation (Please remember you're absolutely beautiful as you are <3)
A/n: The response on Hunger is insane. Over 700 likes?! I didn't expect much beyond a few 10-20 likes, thank you for all the love đ This is another self indulgent fic, more personal to me because I'm chubby myself so... I'm not super proud of the pacing tbh, but it's still pretty good, in my (biased) opinion, haha. I hope you enjoy it!!! âĄ
also available on ao3!
When you joined the Straw Hat crew, you didn't expect to fall in love with the blonde chef.
Actually, when you joined them, you weren't in the mindset to think about love and silly crushes. Your island had been destroyed by the Marines for a 'good cause' and despite the Straw Hats' best attempt, you were the only remaining survivor. Luffy kindly offered you a place on his crew, and you joined as an assistant to Chopper, slowly learning from him.
The first few weeks after you joined were tough for you, who had never travelled outside of your island. It took time to get used to the environmental changes along with the emotional grief of losing all your loved ones. The crew tried their best to cheer you up in their own ways, and you would forever be grateful for every one of them for at least trying, even if their methods weren't the most effective for you. It was the thought and the sentiment behind it that counted.
But what did work for you was⊠food. Ever since you were a child, you had loved food and it was the way you connected to life. Though you were not the greatest cook out there, you were capable of making things that were edible and quite good at times. On the ship though, you never had to cook, because Sanji would always do all the cooking. Whenever you offered to help, to take your mind off the pain you were feeling, he would kindly decline, saying that he would make you whatever you wanted.
But he couldn't. The dishes from your island were not recipes known quite to the rest of the world. Hell, even you didn't know all of them, save for some of your favourite foods that you had learnt from your mother. So you snuck in after dinner and made a dish from your hometown. It wasn't the best food you ever cooked, but it still meant something to you, because you were reminded of home.
You wrote down all the recipes you knew into a book, and kept it close. Whenever you missed your home, you would sneak into the kitchen at night and make yourself something with your wonky cooking skills that made the dish taste different every time. Still, the familiarity was enough to comfort you and let you wallow in the grief at the same time.
Until one day, you couldn't find your book.
"Nami?" You called unsurely to the navigator, who was lying on the deck under shade next to Robin. Behind them, Sanji was serving drinks. The three looked at you in question and suddenly under the scrutiny, your confidence faltered. "Um, uh.. d- did you see a journal somewhere? I can't find mineâŠ"
"The brown one?" She asked, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. You nodded frantically, hoping she knew. "I don't think I did. Did you check under your bed?"
"I did," you whispered, feeling the sadness wash over you again. It's not like you didn't still remember the recipes, but your memory wasn't the best. Without the book, it would be hard to remember them all.
"Don't worry, we'll find it," Nami got up and reassured you, looking concerned. "Sanji. Robin."
The two of them nodded along and then the four of you were searching for it everywhere, until Sanji had to excuse himself apologetically because he had to go cook lunch. You could only nod, trying not to get down in the dumps again over a book, but it felt a little hopeless. Until you heard Sanji shout from the kitchen. The three of you ran over to find him scolding Luffy, your journal in his hand.
"I just wanted to see what was in it!" Luffy pouted, his rubbery hands swinging around to try and get it back.
"That's an invasion of privacy, Luffy!" Sanji looked angry, but you were too relieved about the fact that you had found the book to get upset with Luffy.
"It's okay," you said, reaching forward to get the book. "It's just⊠recipes, Luffy. From my hometown."
There was silence in the kitchen for a few seconds and Luffy's face dropped into a serious look.
"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I thought⊠If I knew how to help you, you'd be happier."
It made you laugh softly, your heart warm at his kind intentions.
"Thank you, Captain," you smiled at him, eyes crinkling into crescent moons. "I am happy here. I just⊠miss my home, sometimes."
He wrapped you into a hug and Nami ruffled your hair a little. You smiled under the attention, holding the book close. Sanji for once was quiet, just staring at the book thoughtfully, though you didn't notice it then.
A few days after that event, Sanji called you to the kitchen before lunchtime. Curiously, you followed him to find⊠a plate of your favourite dish from your hometown. It was plated beautifully, making it look fancy and yet it still had that homey feeling to it. Sanji didn't say a word, just held out the chair for you to sit. You sat down in a daze, too focused on the smell of it lingering in the room.
It smelled like home.
And when you tasted it, you burst into tears. Because it tasted like home. It tasted exactly like your mom's. All the tears you had held back to not worry the crew were now spilling out without any end but you didn't care. Here, where only Sanji could see you, you let it all out. He didn't say anything, just placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and squeezed to let you know he's there for you. You turned around to face him, but the tears made it all blurry. Knocking your head against his stomach, you cried harder.
Sanji just held your head, carding fingers through your hair in comfort, offering you a handkerchief. That, you realised later, was the moment your feelings for Sanji began.
âż
After that day, you became a lot happier. Somehow, without words, just eating the food that Sanji made was enough to heal your broken heart bit by bit. Sometimes, he made extra because Luffy was curious and wanted to taste it too; and then the whole crew wanted it so Sanji made a few of your dishes for dinner. In that moment, surrounded by the smell of home, around your new family, your heart finally started healing.
You started noticing Sanji everywhere after you got used to life on the Thousand Sunny. From the small things he does, to the loud expressions of love he made, everything about him seemed wonderful and warm to you. Because you knew that beneath his overt affections for all the ladies, he was an infinitely kind, caring and observant person. How were you supposed to not fall for him, when he went above and beyond for you?
And yet, for all his admissions of love, you never believed that he could truly like you back like you felt for him. You were after all, not the prettiest girl around and you knew that. You were not slim like Nami or Robin, and it's not like you absolutely hated your soft and squishy body. But you wondered if Sanji would like you even though you weren't pretty.
All that self consciousness went out the window every time you were in his presence. He never made you feel less, or uglyâ in fact, the way he spoke to you always left you a blushing mess. He made you feel special, and in the moment, it would be enough. Until you saw him fawning over Nami or Robin, and then the sneaky voice in your brain would whisper quiet thoughts comparing you to them. You had no chance with him, and you knew that.
And that was fine. You could live with that, couldn't you? You had to, because wanting more than you should never ended well. All it would leave behind is rejection, hurt and awkwardness. So you pressed down the feelings and acted as normally as you could.
The moment you realised that you loved Sanji was probably a memory you would never forget. Although it was unforgettable for you, it probably wasn't particularly that unique to others. That didn't matter to you because it was a memory you cherished ultimately.
It happened when the ship docked on a peaceful little island. Everyone else was going out to enjoy their time, and you wanted to spend that time with Sanji. So, casually, you made your request.
"Sanji?" Your timid utterance of his name got an instant reaction from the chef, who straightened up and looked at you with hearts in his eyes.
"Yes, (y/n)-chan?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Um, you're gonna go grocery shopping, right?" You had seen Nami complaining while handing him the money for the shopping.
"That's right," he leaned closer, almost too close but not quite into your personal bubble. Still, the proximity was enough for you to smell the mild smell of his perfume that left you a little weak in the knees. "Did you want me to get something for you, sweetheart?"
"I just," you hesitated, suddenly scared that he might realise your feelings and get disgusted. No, Sanji wasn't like that, you had to remind yourself. He would never treat you unkindly, even if he knew your feelings. "I heard you always do it alone. I thought you might enjoy some company?"
The hearts in Sanji's eyes disappeared as he stared at you like you were speaking gibberish for a few seconds. Under the intensity of that stare, you fidgeted and waited for his response.
"You're too kind, (y/n)-chan!" He finally cried, holding up your hands in his own bigger and colder ones. You flushed at the action, stammering out an actual gibberish response this time before you were whisked away by the blonde chef to town.
It felt all too much like a date to you, when you walked next to him. Sanji somehow made grocery shopping fun, or maybe that was just because of how much you liked him that anything with him was enjoyable? It didn't matter, you decided, because whichever it was, you couldn't deny that Sanji was equivalent to the sun on a cold day.
He enthusiastically showed you around, as if you were a tourist and he were a guide (when in fact, it was the first time in this town for both of you) causing you to giggle. Whenever you stopped to buy things, he would humour your curious questions on how to pick which vegetable and what cuts of which meat are the best. It felt awfully like a domestic date, one that made you smile when you imagined doing this with Sanji years down the line every week.
"And that's the last of it!" Sanji said happily, picking up the last bag. He was holding all the bags since the start, despite your insistence and now you were anxious, seeing him hold so many bags in his hands.
"Sanji, let me hold a few," you tried again, hands reaching out to take some of them. But Sanji just turned around so you couldn't reach the bags and grinned down at you.
"Nonsense, how could I let such a delicate lady hold such heavy bags?" His words made you flush in embarrassment. You were not delicate in any sense; surely, Sanji knew that too. And in spite of all his sincerity, the word just felt like it was mocking you.
"I'm⊠notâŠ," you struggled to say, not wanting to argue but unable to keep it in either. With your chubby frame, no one had ever considered you as delicate.
"Let me do this for you, my love," Sanji's voice was soft and infinitely gentle, as if he was indeed holding something fragile in his hands. "I wouldn't feel good letting you carry anything when I'm more than capable."
"But Sanji!" you lightly whined, wringing your hands. "I don't feel good letting you carry all the burden either! Come on, just a few bags?"
Before Sanji could respond, you heard a scared squeak. Your brows furrowed and you looked around the marketplace, finding a man cornering a girl a few feet behind Sanji. She seemed uncomfortable and he was all in her personal space, saying something in a rough, sleazy voice that gave you shivers.
You were not a fighter, but the instinct to protect her overtook the rational part of your brain and you crossed the distance to where they were. Pushing him back, you stood in front of the girl to block her from him.
"Can't you see she's uncomfortable?" You said coldly. "Back off."
The man took an involuntary step back until his eyes fell on you. He reeked of alcohol and smoke and you felt like puking from the putrid stench coming off him but you held it together, trying to come off as more confident than you felt. His eyes roamed over your body shamelessly, and you felt dirty and uncomfortable from the action.
"Don't get in our business, fatty," he grinned, the smell of alcohol doubling the moment he opened his mouth. "Are you jealous that no one will ever give you the attention she's getting?"
The words stabbed you in the gut, even though you knew rationally that you were better off without the bad attention. That was the one perk of being conventionally average in looksâ no one really looked at you, in good ways or bad. Or maybe you had just been lucky so far. But hearing him call you that, saying those words, even from someone like him, it hurt a small part of you. Before you could respond, a leg in black slacks came up and kicked the man down with such a force that everybody around paused, shocked by the sudden action.
Even you stepped back automatically, gasping when you saw that it was Sanji, still balancing all the bags perfectly while he had roundhouse kicked the man into the ground with so much force that you could see his teeth had become bloody and he was on the verge of unconsciousness.
"(Y/n)-chan doesn't need the attention of sewer rats like you," he said calmly, straightening back into position smoothly. "Her beauty only deserves the best of the best."
The sight of Sanji saying that with a calm face, his hair slightly tousled, his hands balancing the bags and his leg muscles rippling under the slacks â that image was imprinted in your heart and brain for the rest of your life. The words sent you into a shock, but when they finally processed, you couldn't deny the overwhelming realisation that crashed into you.
You love Sanji.
It wasn't just a silly crush, or something that could go away if you gave it time. The chef had unknowingly carved himself a place into your heart. He was taking over it, chamber by chamber.
"SanjiâŠ" The word came out as a whisper, inaudible under the din of the market as people were talking about what was going on. You snapped out of it when you felt the girl behind you shuffle and you immediately squashed your thoughts down to examine them later. You turned around and asked her, "Are you okay?"
She looked very alarmed and upset, but she still shot you a grateful smile as she murmured, "Yes, thanks to you two."
"He didn't hurt you?" You asked, hands hovering over her as you looked to ensure if she was safe. A peek of crimson caught your eye when she raised her hand to rub her face. Her elbows had scraped against the rough brick wall in his tousling. "You have some scratches!"
"Oh," she turned her arms to look at the wounds, now feeling the burn after the adrenaline and fear response was receding.
"Come on, I'll treat it for you," you offered, opening your sling bag which had some emergency first aid. You usually carried it around for the members when you were off the ship, knowing that they were all too reckless to give a second thought to any wounds.
"Oh, no, no, I couldn't trouble you more!" She said, mortified but you gently shook your head, offering her a hand.
"It's no trouble," you reassured her. It took a little bit of convincing but she eventually calmed down and let you clean up the wound before you parted. Finally, you allowed yourself to look at Sanji, who immediately schooled his features so you wouldn't see the warm adoring look he was giving you the whole time. "Sanji⊠Are you okay too? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"
"Do you think I'm that weak, sweetheart?" He smiled teasingly, but you felt the need to defend yourself.
"I know you are strong," you insisted, worrying your lower lip as you tried to look him straight in the eyes but kept getting flustered. "But even strong people get wounds. Just because they are strong, doesn't mean that they don't feel the pain. So tell me honestly, Sanji. Are you hurt anywhere?'
"No," he promised. "But if you're that worried, I'll let you check me all out back on the ship."
He ended that with a wink, and this time, you couldn't hold back the flush threatening to overtake your face again. Sanji couldn't help making the mood light again, but he had no idea of the effect his words had on you.
"Stupid," you weakly pawed at his arm, walking away before he could say anything. The blonde chef just laughed and followed you, face once again soft and fond as he watched you.
âż
Sanji may have been one of the only people onboard who was oblivious to your feelings, because a few of them did figure it out after watching the way you interacted with him. The first ones to realise were Nami and Robin, who called you out on it when the three of you were lying under the shade on the sunny deck.
"Really?" Nami had scrunched her nose, eyes critically analysing Sanji as he walked (danced, really) back to the kitchens after serving drinks to the three of you.
"Really what?" You asked, too busy sipping the cool drink to notice that she had noticed the way you had warmly thanked Sanji and given him a bright smile.
"Sanji?" Nami gave you a pointed look. The name made you freeze, and you tried to play it off.
"What about him?"
"Oh, come on!" Nami threw the slice of lemon that was on her drink. You caught it before it could fall on your shirt and muttered an indignant 'hey!' that the navigator ignored. "You like him, don't you?"
The words were enough to make you hide your face in embarrassment. Robin was smiling knowingly from the other side of Nami and you felt exposed, like they had both just turned you inside out.
"I do," you whispered after the few minutes of silent mortification that Nami had spent in self satisfaction.
"Why that loser though?" She said without any real bite. You knew she wasn't actually demeaning him; it was affectionate, in the way one would talk about their sibling's lovelife.
"Because!" You whispered, eyes running everywhere to check if no one else was around to hear you. "Have you looked at him? He's literally so pretty! He is kind, caring, and so, so thoughtful and generous. Without expecting anything in return, he is always giving and giving and he makes my stomach do silly things. He has curly eyebrows, Nami! I didn't think those could look good on anyone. Hell, I know I would look ugly with them, but he makes it work! It suits him, and he's so beautiful and I'm justâ"
You collapsed onto your chair, your wet fingers from the condensation on the drink glass finding purchase in the dips of your face to hide it. Just talking about him was enough to get your heart beating fast, and the mortification of what you had just spilled to the two girls made you want the ground to swallow you already.
"You really like him," Robin's soft observation made you relax. She wasn't teasing you. You turned to look at her and caught the comforting smile she was sending your way.
"I was going to say you could do better," Nami turned to face you, swinging her feet around to your side, "but after hearing all that, I think⊠You two are perfect for each other. Despite all his antics, he has a good heart. And you'll be good for him, because you see him as he is."
"Yeah?" You couldn't help the small flower of hope blossoming in your chest.
"Really," Nami smiled, a rare genuine smile that was usually reserved for late night talks and reassurances in down times.
"You don't thinkâŠ." You trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of your top, "he won't⊠find me good enough?"
"Are you crazy?" Nami snorted, picking up her drink. The melted ice had made the level go up so much that it was threatening to spill any moment. "You're better than anything he could dream of. I told you, didn't I? You would be good for him. Having someone like you in his life to ground him, I think there's nothing better than that. You're one of the sweetest people I have ever met. If anyone here isn't good enough, it's him."
"Hey now," you frowned, ready to defend Sanji but hearing his voice stopped you.
"Who isn't good enough for (y/n)-chan?" His face was stuck in a weird smile, like he was forcing it. He carefully placed the plate of pastries he had brought as he continued casually despite the silence, "I don't know who we are talking about but Nami-chan is right. No one is good enough for our lovely (y/n)-chan."
"Oh, look at that!" You hurriedly switched the topic, looking at the plate he had brought. The tiny pastries were adorable and colourful, looking so delicious that it would have made your mouth water if you weren't distracted at the moment. "This looks so good, Sanji. Seriously, if you keep feeding me like this, my weight will keep increasing!"
The last line became a teasing complaint, but you didn't expect Sanji to come to the side of your chair and lean down to where you were tilted. The proximity caused your eyes to widen, the blood thundering in your ears as he carefully tucked in a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, face so soft and warm that it make your insides feel like they were vibrating.
"All the more for me to love, so I would keep winning, wouldn't I, sweetheart?"
You choked, and the need to get away from him before you did something wild like grab him and kiss him got so much that your knee accidentally shot up and into Sanji's back, pushing him forward. The chef's eyes widened at the sudden attack, but he managed to not collapse on you by quickly holding onto the sides of the chair but now you were trapped in between his arms on top of the close proximity.
It made you so weak in the knees, and there was something hot and warm curling in your gut as you stammered gibberish, feeling like you were about to faint because Sanji's chest was practically touching yours and it was all too much.
"SORRY!" He hurriedly backed off the moment he got his bearings, and for the first time since you had come onboard, you saw him have a genuinely heavily flushed face. There was a little blood starting to leak from one of his nostrils and somehow, it helped you calm down. He was just as affected as you were. The idea was enough to lessen your embarrassment by a little.
"I'm the one who's sorry, Sanji," you said remorsefully, hiding your face completely in your hands this time. "I kicked you!"
"It wasn't on purpose," he said, right hand coming up to hide the blush on his own face. "I'm sorry for⊠for making you uncomfortable, (y/n)-chan!"
Uncomfortable? Did Sanji have any clue just how comfortable you actually felt? The problem wasn't that you were uncomfortable in the proximity; it was that you were too comfortable, to the point that you never wanted to leave. But that would be a dead giveaway of your feelings, right?
"Okay, this is just painful to watch now," Nami sighed, jolting the two of you. You had nearly forgotten that she and Robin were right there, and they had seen everything. She looked at you unhappily, mouth set in a tight line. "How about you two get a room and make out there?"
"Nami!" You cried out. She really just gave away your crush like that?!
"Just be grateful I'm not demanding money to make up for what I just had to witness," she sniffed haughtily, swinging her legs back onto the chair and pulling down her sunglasses. "Seriously, you two, go talk shit out. Or else, knowing you, you will just be awkward around each other and that's gonna be even more painful to watch."
She wasn't totally wrong. You were planning to avoid him, possibly by jumping off the Sunny and drowning to death since you didn't know how to swim. But that wasn't really a solution and even you could admit that.
"W- What's there to talk-?" Sanji seemed a little scared, wide eyes glancing between the three of you. Nami ignored him, and you were too flustered to look him in the eyes. Nami's suggestion was essentially for you to come clean, wasn't it? But that was easier said than done. The fear of rejection and the eventual awkwardness was gripping your insides in a chokehold, and you couldn't move your feet even if you tried.
"Sanji," Robin said calmly. "Pick up (y/n) and go to the kitchen."
"Huh?" You were startled at her words. Pick you up?! No way! "No, no way, I'm too⊠I'm too heavy, there's no need for that!" Even as you said that, you couldn't actually bring yourself to move.
"I don't really get it," Sanji admitted, looking between the three of you as he spoke, "but I can do that. (Y/n)-chan?"
"No, Sanjiâ" the protests died down the moment he bent down and picked you up like you weighed nothing. Even as he walked you across the deck, you couldn't help but think that it was kind of hot just how easily he picked you up. "SanjiâŠ"
He didn't look at you until you were in the kitchen and the door was closed behind the two of you. He walked over to the table and then carefully placed you on it, as if you were a teacup made of fine china teetering with tea. Finally, he let his clear blue eyes stare down at you, the expression on his face more vulnerable and exposed than you had ever seen on him.
"Sanji?"
"I know I made you uncomfortable," he said quietly, backing away. His hands came up to rub away the blood but it only made it spread around and you winced at seeing that. You never wanted to see any blood on Sanji, if you could help it. "I touched your⊠you. It wasn't my intention, I swear! I just, I wanted, Iâ"
He abruptly shut up, looking frustrated with himself.
"Sanji."
He didn't look up, fists clenching at his side the moment you said his name.
"Come here, Sanji," you whispered, holding out your hands to beckon him closer. His eyes flickered over your face, as if trying to gauge out what you were feeling, even as he followed through your request without a second thought. You pulled out the handkerchief he had given you long back, and wiped away the blood over his upper lip and cheeks carefully before you picked up his hand. The thumb was bloody too, so you gently held the limb in one of your hands and wiped it with the other. "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Sanji."
He stayed quiet as you continued to wipe it until it was all gone.
"Didn't I?" He said the moment you were done.
"No," you said, looking up at him. You didn't let go of the hand, though you dropped the handkerchief beside you. Somehow, holding his hand seemed to give you the courage to make the admission Nami had told you to. "I⊠Sanji, I like you. A lot more than I ever thought it was possible to feel towards someone. I like you so much that it physically hurts when I see you flirting with other women. I like you so much that my heart feels warm whenever you are around, and I feel so safe in your arms that I never want to leave. I like it when you are close to me. But I know that you don't like me like that, so whenever you get so close, and I can't help but want you so much, it's painful for me. I never want to let you go."
Sanji's eyes darkened with every word you spoke, a gradual change that you didn't notice at first because you were all in over your head. His hands hovered around your waist as you finished.
"Who told you?" His voice was a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat the moment he realised how desperate he sounded.
"Told me what?" You asked timidly, looking down at your lap.
"That I don't like you?" Sanji's voice was a broken whisper like yours had been. "I have never heard anything more untrue than that. All this time, I wanted you but I kept my feelings to myself. Because you deserve so much, so much more than I am, so much more than I can give. I wanted and I wanted and I felt so greedy, wanting more and more of you, more than you would let me haveâ I wanted anything you were ready to give, and I also wanted everything you have to give. I thought you wouldn't want someone like me, when there are so many better options around for youâ"
"What?" You couldn't help but laugh. All his words were making you delirious; this had to be some wild dream you had conjured up. It didn't feel real. None of it did. "I had better options around? Sanji, I was so sure you would never look twice at me! I never felt like I was pretty enough, or good enough to get your attention and you're telling me⊠I had better options? That's soâ"
You kept laughing, body shaking from the weight of the laughter. Sanji stared at you, unsure hands still hovering around you. His fingers twitched from holding back the urge to pull you into him.
"You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen," he mumbled. "Not good enough to get my attention? Darling, you have had all of my attention ever since I met you. No other woman could compare to you from the moment you made your place in my heart known."
"Did I really have all your attention?" You asked, letting your insecurities bubble up. Now that you were both being honest, it was better to get it all out of the way, right? "Even when you looked at the other womenâŠ"
"I never looked at them the way I did you," his words were sincere, and in that moment, they were enough. You looked up at him, and your body broke into shivers the moment you realised the heat in his eyes as he stared down at you; like you were some unique dish he was finally getting the chance to eat after years of craving it.
"I didn't want the other options, Sanji," you whispered, the volume enough for the proximity you were in. "The only one I ever wanted was you."
You held his collars and pulled him in, and it was like he finally snapped, now that he had permission. His hands immediately grasped at your sides, gently holding the soft flesh there as he kissed you. And now it was your time to give and give, while he took from you like your lips were spilling with ambrosia and he was determined to get every drop. His warm breath fanned over your lips and the goosebumps on your skin rose again, your fingers tightening around the collars of his shirt.
When he let your lips go, he was greeted with the sight of your flushed and pleasantly buzzed expression, like you were drunk on him. Seeing you like that, because of him, it was enough to get him groaning.
"So beautiful," he whispered, leaving feather light kisses all over your face. "So gorgeous. All for me. All⊠for me to have?"
"Yeah," you whispered, looking up at him and seeing the devastated yet over-the-moon expression on Sanji's face. Even without words, he could always just cleave into your heart and press himself within its walls like they were made to fit him, and only him. "You can be greedy. Take all you want. I'm all yours."
°âąââąÂ°
2K notes
·
View notes
You are in Love
Pairing- Gojo Satoru x fem!Reader
Summary- The three times he realised he loved you, and the one time he said it. Inspired by You are in Love (Taylorâs Version) by Taylor Swift.
Warnings- Its just fluff, a little angst if you squint? SATORU IS WHIPPED (hes so cuteđ), best friends to lovers romance, Shoko and Suguru playing cupids, whipped satoru (yes this warning again), swearing (its only one word but still), no curses!au, modern!au, my poor english :p
Word Count- 3.5k words
A/N- Whenever I listen to Taylor, either this guy or his best friend pop up in my head. Like the amount of times I think about them is so insane and I canât help it anymore. Anyways, hereâs another songfic (is this even a surprise atp?) based on another Taylorâs song coz i love that woman so much. Alsoooo itâs my birthday today! And what is better than writing a fic abt your man on your birthday? So I hope yâall enjoy this little birthday gift from me!
The first time Satoru realised he loved you was when you were in college together. It was the last day of the semester before everyone bid farewell to each other and went home for the holiday season. You and him were walking along one pathway coming back from your Christmas shopping, snow falling softly around everyoneâs body, and a chill in the air that made everyone want to snuggle up beside the fireplace in their houses.
Suguru and Shoko had joined you both too but then excused themselves to leave you two alone, hoping that the romantic ambiance of the holiday season would finally give Satoru the confidence to tell you how he felt.
To say he was a nervous wreck was an understanding. He had spent the whole afternoon talking to himself in the mirror, practicing what he would say so that he won't stumble on his words and ruin the moment.
He didn't have a problem talking to you as he normally does; you were his best friend after all, like Suguru and Shoko, but once he tries to tell you that you make his heart beat faster, make butterflies flood his stomach, it makes him lose all his senses. Suguru had to drag him out of his room, complaining about waiting for 'thirty fucking minutes' already.
Eventually, he met you and Shoko at the front gate of his house and walked with you towards the mall. The entire day, he felt so jittery, like he couldnât stay still. You remained oblivious to the fact that Satoru was about ready to burst from the inside from how nervous he was.
Suguru and Shoko, on the other hand, couldnât contain their laughter. By the time the sky began to fade into the night sky, Suguru and Shoko decided that now was as good of a time than ever and made up an excuse to leave the two of you alone.Â
Now here you were, walking beside Satoru, bundled up in your white scarf, and the cutest red blush on the tip of your nose. You readjusted your beanie, looking up at him to start conversation. Satoru felt his words get stuck in his throat, unable to remember how to speak with you staring up at him with the twinkle of oblivion in your eye.
"Toru?" you asked bumping your shoulder with him, noticing his uneasy expressions as you wrapped an arm around yourself to get some warmth as the snow had started to fall little more harshly, "am I that boring that your mind had to drift somewhere else?"
"God no." He blushed, finally able to say something without stumbling. Without thought, he wrapped one of his arm around you, bringing you closer to him. You sighed in content, melting into him and Satoru swore his heart swelled three times its size.
The snow crunched under your boots as you walked up the path. The lights lining the cobblestone street gave a yellow tint to the sight. He walked with you in silence but in his head, he was going over exactly what he wanted to say. This was the perfect time.
The snow falling from the sky, little snowflakes tangled in the strands of your hair. You were pressed up against his chest, so close to him that he could smell your perfume, sweet and addicting. There were no other people around, all too eager to find sanctuary in warmth that their houses brought. It was the perfect time.
He stopped walking, halting you with him. He let you go for a moment, taking a deep breath in and slowly let it out. You watched as the cloud of fog escaped his lips and dispersed into the air. His white hair poked out from under his hoodie, matted on his forehead. Satoru looked down at his wet boots, kicking around snow that pooled around the soles.
Finally, he looked up, taking your two hands into his palms in the process.Â
You smiled at the gesture, your heart fluttering in your chest. You looked at him, offering a comforting look as you raised your eyebrows up in suspicion, âWhatâs up, Toru?â
And just like that, all of the words he worked so hard to conjure up, slipped right out of his mind. When he saw you looking up at him, eyebrows raised, cheeks and nose tinted with a light shade of pink, and your lips plump and red, he realized that there were no words to describe what it was he felt about you.
You watched him in silence, studying the way he gave you a lopsided smile when you tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. He leaned into your touch, letting out another sigh of relief.Â
âNothing,â he finally spoke, letting go of your hands. He wrapped his arm around you again, hoping you wonât hear the marching of his heart in his chest. âYouâre my best friend.â
-
The second time he realised he loved you was when he found you crying on your couch. He had came to check on you when you didnât come over for the routine movie night. Every Saturday, you, him, Suguru and Shoko got together at each otherâs places for movie nights. Laughter, jokes, entertainment, talks, drinks and what not went on full night and the next day all of you were passed out on either couch or the floor.
Today everyone was coming over at Satoruâs place. Suguru and Shoko were already there but when it kept getting late, Satoru became worried about you. Shoko tried assuring him you were okay, just stuck in some work but he wouldnât believe it. Because you were time punctual and never missed the movie nights.
So he came over to yours and opened your door with the spare key youâd given him only to find you curled up in your couch, crying.
He immediately rushed over to you and wrapped his arms around you tightly as you held onto him. He didnât say anything but stayed there, holding you, feeling his heart break as you sobbed into his chest.
A few moments later, when he felt you relaxing a little, he took your face in his hands as he asked, âbetter?â
You just nodded as you snuggled into him. Neither of you two said anything, a comfortable silence, just sitting there on your couch, engulfing each other, enjoying each otherâs company.
âNow tell me what happened?â he asked softly when your crying had quieted down, afraid you might break again.
âItâs nothing. I just- its too much. Work, studies, family, everything. I just got too overwhelmed and just couldnât keep it in anymore. And I had nobody present here for me to tell me that its okay or listen about what I felt.â You said now realising what mess you had made and quite embarrassed that Satoru had to see you this vulnerable. âGod this is embarrassing! Iâm so sorry.â
âHey look at me.â He said, cupping your cheeks to make you look at him when you didnât. âEveryone in this world has a vulnerable side. Everyone on this planet has things which is maybe too much overwhelming for them that they might just break at any point. Just like you did. But donât ever apologise for this. Because none of it is your fault. Okay? And Iâm always here for you. Even if youâre far away, Iâll always be there. Youâre not alone, okay?â
You just nodded and gave him the smile he adored so much. And without saying anything else, he wrapped both of his arms around you once again, letting you rest your head on his chest. He kissed your forehead and hummed in content as you snuggled even closer to him if possible.
And as he looked down at the girl in his arms, he realised this is what he wanted for the rest of his life. He loved you.Â
-
The third time he realised he loved you was after summer. He hadnât talked or heard from you since 4 months.
You left without a goodbye or a message to god knows where. He'd tried searching for you but always ended up getting disappointed. Suguru and Shoko missed you too. They had helped him to find you too but to no avail. It was like youâd disappeared into thin air.
Satoru often wondered if you ever thought about him like he did, if you missed him like he did. He knew you were probably out there pursuing your dream career, which you'd always talked about and wanted to do, but a part of him wanted to be there with you. To support and cheer for you at every step you take, to give you advices, to have late night celebration for your achievements. Call him selfish and everything. Everyday that passed, he cursed himself for not telling you how he felt before you left. Would it have made any difference? Heâd like to think so. Even if it didnât, he, at least, wouldnât have to live every single day thinking: âWhat if?â
He kept a picture of you in his office. He often looked at it whenever he was free, always wondering how you were doing, if you were okay or not. Suguru and Shoko always found this sight pitful. They had tried to get him to move on, but all of them knew that Satoru was so in love with you and you were special to all three of them and that nobody could ever take your place.
It wasnât until six months later when you stumbled into the building, chewing nervously on your bottom lip. A part of you knew you didnât have the right to be there because you left them with no warning. You wouldnât blame them if they asked you to leave the premises the minute their eyes landed on you. You knew you deserved the cold shoulder. Because if they were the ones who did that to you, you knew you wouldnât be so forgiving.
The receptionist had told you to wait while she checked if the three of them were free or not. As you waited, you smiled sadly at the memories of last six months. You had gone for higher studies, as your dad had promised, for your dream career. You knew you shouldâve at least informed someone before you left but everything happened just so fast that one moment your dad had agreed on your consent and the next moment you were on the plane.
Surely you enjoyed the studies and training period there, Paris being busy in days and nights, but having really nice places to visit. You would always go to the Eiffel tower, watching the sunset, half expecting for Satoru to wrap his arm around your waist but whenever you turned your head youâd always met with empty space. Whenever you came home exhausted, you always expected Satoru to be there with dinner ready and him greeting you with a welcome home kiss.
Thatâs why you came back. To be in his arms. To be able to kiss him. To be able to call him yours. Because youâd realise that your life was nothing if Gojo Satoru wasnât in it.
The receptionist told you to go upstairs at floor 5 but as you were about to click the lift button, you heard someone running on the stairs. You turned to look who it was and your eyes locked with a pair of blue ones which were close to home. He just looked at you and slowly stepped towards you as you did the same.
When you were both closer to each other, he brought his hand up, touching your cheeks delicately as if making sure you were real.
Satoru couldnât believe it. When the receptionist called him and said that someone named Y/N L/N was here to meet him, he left all his works and ran downstairs. And now that heâd seen you, he was mesmerised and shocked. Shocked because you were really here and mesmerised because you looked even more beautiful than before. He touched your cheeks delicately, making sure you were really here and not another one of his hallucinations. And then without another thought he took you into his arms and held you tight and closer to him, now promising himself to never let you go. All the feelings he still had for you, tripled. His heart rumbled in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Even after all this time, he was still so in love with you.
âNo need to tell me where you were. Because I already know.â You were tearing up as you finally felt complete in his arms and realised how much you loved him.
âDonât ever leave me like that again.â He said as he was starting to tear up too. He loved you so much and the thought of being apart once again was killing him.
âI wonât. Ever again. I promise.â
-
It didnât take long for Satoru to tell you how he felt after you came back. He couldnât hold it in any longer. Every moment that he didnât get to call you his, chipped his heart. Both Shoko and Suguru were growing tired of it, encouraging him to just say it because they were sure you felt the same. He tried to ignore them, not wanting to get his hopes up, but he couldnât help but think about how amazing it would feel if you told him you loved him back.
You came over to Satoruâs for dinner that night, Suguru insisted that they all missed you too much to go out to a restaurant. After dinner and catching up with everyone, you and Satoru excused yourselves and walked out in the garden. His hands were in his pockets, unable to look at you for more than a few seconds at a time. Heâs been practicing what to say to you since years and yet, he still felt unprepared.
You were walking silently beside him, taking in the silence and calmness of the life youâre living now. You no longer had to worry about anything, just the day to day necessities, and your feelings for Satoru. Subconsciously, you intertwined your fingers with his snuggling up to his side for some warmth.
He froze for a moment. This is it, he thought, this is the perfect moment. So before he lost his confidence, he spoke, âY/N, I have something to tell you.â
âYes, Toru?â you asked, rubbing your thumb over the top of his hand. âWhat is it?â
There it was. He missed it. He missed the way you called him âToruâ. And now finally hearing it from you made his heart skip many beats.
He held you in your place, stopping in the middle of a field of flowers. The moon illuminated one side of your face, showing off your perfect features. Satoru smiled, reaching over to caress your cheekbone. With tears in his eyes, he said, âI love you.â
You gasped softly, looking up at him, âWhat?â
âIâm in love with you, Y/N,â Satoru sighed, connecting his forehead with yours. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a breathy laugh, âIâve been in love with you for so long.â
You slowly brought your hand to his face and cupped his cheek as he melted in your touch. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I was afraid of what you'd say. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and lose you. I just thought that maybe if you didn't love me like that, I'd still have you. Even if it's just as your best friend."
"Then why now?" you asked, you voice getting even quieter. He kissed the palm of your hand as he met your eyes.
"Because after all those years of crushing on you, all those months of not being able to see you or be in your arms, made me realise how much in love I was with you. All those six months, you consumed all of my thoughts, your laughter was all I could hear in my silent nights, your smile was all I could see everywhere I went. And not being able to tell you how much I loved you was killing me." He finished, tears flowing uncontrollably from his eyes.
You didn't know when your eyes started tearing up. All you knew was how much you loved him at this moment. Him confessing all his feelings for you, so vulnerably. It made you realise how much you just wanted to hold him and never let him go.
So you said, "I'm in love with you too, Satoru."
At first he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. You loved him back? His eyes shot open, pulling away from you as he stared at you in disbelief. âY-you love me?â
"Yes, you idiot." You chuckled through your tears, pulling him closer. Your lips ghosted over his, causing him to shiver. "I've been in love with you for a really long time as well."
"I'm really an idiot, aren't I?" he said, laughing a little.
"Yes, you are. But you're my idiot."
And with that, he kissed you. All those years where he hid his feelings came pouring out in this one kiss. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his like there was any more space between the two of you to close. Your arms looped around his neck, his one hand snaked down to your waist to steady you while one still remained on your cheek. He kissed you, pouring in all his regrets, mistakes, apprehensions, into his love, no longer wanting to pass up an opportunity to love you for the rest of his life.
And when he pulled back for air, he had the biggest smile on his face. "I'm the luckiest man on this earth." You pecked him again as you gave him your biggest grin.
On your way back home, you could feel it, you could hear it in the silence, you could see it with the lights out in the garden. It lingered between you two, suffocating you but it was the best feeling ever. Gojo Satoru is in love with you. You are in love.
408 notes
·
View notes