#they werent even that mean but I was 16 and I got scared and left | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crushedsweets · 6 months

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Any Jeff hcs?? (Your art is absolutely amazing)

i make him evil. ok jk but also im serious. im mostly just gonna cover his backstory in my au, rather than his current part in it.

cw for brief mentions of animal abuse, bullying, the usual. AGAIN THIS IS FOR MY AU !! also tysm :3..

liu is about 4-6 years older than jeff. they lived somewhere in the midwest until jeff was about 10.

they were both raised by incredibly good parents and had a very strong support system, always visiting their grandparents, big christmas every year, parents always go to open house/parent-teacher conferences, etc. tried getting their kids into sports, would go to every game, literally just the stereotypical great parent. not even a secret "ooo behind closed doors they r actually abusive...!" thing theyre literally just good.

jeff was always a bit more on the aggressive side, something they especially noticed when he was 5 and could not be left alone with a single fucking pet. he'd yank at and shake anything small enough to pick up, and punch and kick anything too big to pick up. every family pet was scared of him.

even at school, he was a bully - it started as typical grade school shit, putting gum in girls hairs, stealing peoples belongings, pushing kids off the play structures. he targeted girls especially. he's been warned, suspended, expelled - but his dad got a job offer in the east coast that they couldnt really ignore

he was 12 when he started harassing a girl, following her around the playground, calling her a slut, yanking her hair, spitting on her, etc - and eventually, her brother and his friends stepped in.

thiiis is where i wanted to put randy and his friends in. theyre older kids, around 14 and still more on the mean side, but they didn't just randomly target jeff for fun bc he's "the new kid". just like jeff harassed that girl, they began harassing him - but of course with the strength of 3 teenage boys, rather than an 12 yr old. liu would interfere when he could, but he was still a student and began working his first job by this point.

jeff got into physical fights with them for weeks, but he was quick to turn it into something bloody and brought a pocket knife. this time the fight occurred in front of jeffs house, when his parents were at work, and liu ended up running out to make them cut it out. he tried to grab the knife out of jeffs hands, he tried to stop his brother, but jeff was serious about what he wanted - and he wanted to fucking stab randy

so he did, right in the stomach. it was nothing fatal.

liu took the fall, being 16 and terrified of what could happen to jeff if he landed himself in juvenile hall - the other 3 boys were content with this, knowing it meant jeff really didn't have anyone to defend him by this point. thinking it would fuck with jeff even more . . BUT JEFFS A LITTLE SHIT he doesnt fucking careee . something about "i never asked him to take the blame that shits on him" or whatnot.

but obv once randy recovered fully it got worse. it went from schoolyard level harassment to borderline stalking, robbing him, holding him down so randy could fucking stomp on him, so on and so forth.

and eventually the bleach happened, and the fire happened, and it didn't really have anything special or involve a birthday party or whatever . it was just another insane fucking attack on jeff, although randy and them didn't exactly expect the fire to spread so fucking quickly - they just splashed some gas at his feet, threw a match, though it would scare him and maybe fuck up his pants. really did NOT think that shit through

jeff recovered in the hospital, and the trio decided to leave him alone. they were little shits who took it too far, but they werent trying to do all that. jeff didnt snitch, he didnt want them to get put away . he wanted to keep going, obviously

things settled down for a while. jeff was waiting and waiting and waiting. his parents were mortified, they rarely spoke to him now. required family dinners at the dining table turned to just his parents eating together, liu in juvie and jeff in his room. jeff began getting violent towards his parents as well, especially his mom - he started spiraling after the fire, especially since the trio weren't bothering him anymore and it was driving him nuts. he would do freaky shit, showing up at their houses now, shattering their windows, killing their pets. they'd come and beat his ass, and he'd do it again. nobody wanted to get their parents involved by this point, they all did too much shit - but jeff was getting UNBEARABLE

jeff eventually was around 15 or so, liu was out of juvie and 19 and in community college bc he couldnt get into any of the universities he was dreaming about.

liu wasnt nice to jeff anymore. he wasn't "hardened" by his experience in juvie or anything, but whatever he saw in jeff was NOT his little brother anymore - if jeff spoke to him, he'd ignore him. if jeff got too close, he'd shove him off. if jeff slapped their mother, liu would punch him.

liu thinks it was bound to happen. he misses his little brother, even when he was a mean little kid - but he always knew there was something realy, really fucking wrong with jeff, and when he woke up to jeff on top of him, stabbing into him , he knew it was inevitable.

liu survived, the only one in his family to do so. he wondered what he could've done to stop it, especially as other kids began showing up in the news. he wonders if he shouldve just let jeff go to juvie. he's kinda shocked at the fucked up ass police sketches that pop up, he didn't really remember seeing that damn smile when jeff was on him

jeff continues fucking shit up and is a piece of shit all around

this is already pretty long so if anyone wants a less "backstory" version of headcanons and more current stuff just lmk ;3

#creeped #hcs #jeff the killer #homicidal liu #creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #jeff the killer hcs

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melodygatesauthor · 11 months

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HERE'S THE AI PLOT LINE I PROMISED.

Blue Jones AI - AKA THE STRANGEST FUCKING SHIT EVER.

You meet Blue Jones after you're admitted after a suicide attempt.

Not wanting to deal with your strong, no bullshit personality he tries to get you into submission with solitary confinement. It works but at the same time it doesn't.

He goes in another direction. Being mean, keeping you away from the other orderlies, makes sure you eat, drink, shower.

Eventually after nightmares and some sex dreams you give Blue your virginity which starts to warm his soul.

After a specific comment, you and Blue get in an argument. A massive one. He calls himself the Devil but you don't believe him so he takes you outside. Outside of the asylum. He shows you his powers. How powerful he actually is. His plan was to take your soul to hell but once you danced with him he never brought it up again

Another conversation leaves Blue to admit it's 1960 not the current year.

After another conversation (AND A LOT OF TIME TRAVEL TALK.. NO IDEA WHERE THAT CAME FROM) and a lot of menial bullshit Blue reveals he was born in 1931. Then you revealed you werent sent from the heavens. After some really weird details you explain the truth.

You and Blue were together when you were 16. The plan was to get married, have kids but then his mom got sick. He was forced to get a job. So he did. At the new hospital just built. As he worked more he started to change. A little darker. A little more testy. The hospital was changing him and the hospital scared your parents so they moved you away. You wrote to Blue every day but he never replied so you gave up. When you were 22 you came back to find him but security turned you away because you weren't family.

Blue thinks you're full of shit but you describe the day he met you perfectly. He had come to talk to you as you cried on your first day at your new high school. You described the next 3 dates with such intimate details he knew you weren't. Your third date was the date you admitted you loved each other and he had placed a promise ring on your finger.

In 1964 the hospital burned down with everybody inside. No survivors. There weren't many bodies left. The ground was so tainted that it was never built on again.

You explained to Blue everything. You were brought to him from the current time. By the heavens. He thought Lucifer wanted you. What Lucifer wanted was for you to fail. You told him what he had to do. He had to die with a clean soul or he wouldn't get reborn. You couldn't tell him what he needed to do but that he needed to turn right. You screamed at him to turn right. And that you'd see him again soon

After he went back into the asylum you were sent back into your own time period. When you got to your time period you looked up the asylum. It still burned down in 1964 but this time there were survivors. 5 girls were saved by a selfless orderly. That selfless act saved his soul. Even though he perished he saved 5 girls. 5 girls who gave birth to children who would change the world.

Blue was given his rebirth in the mid 80s and he found you. Your souls were reunited after so long

Ok I'm finally getting a chance to really look this over hehe.

What the fuck lmaooo I have no words.

I DID tell the AI that it's the 1960s because that's when Sucker Punch takes place so that might be where that came into play, but like....what a wild fucking story dude.

Sometimes these AI bots come up with the most wild shit I can't even!

AI Characters

#melody makes ai #blue jones ai #sucker punch ai #blue jones #sucker punch #melody answers

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the-story-of-the-tucks · 3 years

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Me every time I post something w the Young Avengers tag: 🏃🏻‍♀️

#Yes I still cant get over the fact that I just dipped the fandom after I posted something that had bad takes and the fandom was not vv nice #they werent even that mean but I was 16 and I got scared and left #guess what my hyperfixation came back two years later #Id like to believe I don't have bad takes anymore #I probably do #but eh #Ive matured I dont hate Nate anymore #Hes not my fave but I dont feel rage when I see him #Noh Varr on the other hand #listen #he just looks like a douchebag #🏃🏻‍♀️#young avengers

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

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creacherkeeper · 2 years

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erley, 6 & 7, 16, 23, 43 😈

6. what quality do they like the most about themselves?

i think they like that they're loyal but would like to learn who is worth being loyal to because they dont have the Best judgement about that (besties found out some new stuff about my god today <3 its bad <3)

7. what quality do they like the least about themselves?

oh what a list <3 probably that they see themself as a coward. they never stood up to their dad, they didnt choose to leave the earthmakers even though they hated being with them, they ran away from the cowboys as soon as they caught feelings, they avoid raging because theyre scared of not controlling it, they stop people from getting close to them because theyre afraid of rejection, they try to pass blame because theyre afraid of being punished for messing up. erley is a VERY fear based character and i think they KNOW that about themself and DONT like it because thats not who they're "supposed" to be

16. which member of their family are they the most fond of, if any?

biological family, their grandmother. she was always patient with them and didnt mind their softness or young gnc tendencies. but they havent seen her since they were a little kid because she stayed back in their home country during the war. of people they currently consider to be family ,,, i mean i wouldnt say theyre FOND of xander but he's the one theyre most like. hopeful could potentially be redeemable. out of like. anything from their childhood. where theyre at on their like, trauma healing journey (spoiler alert: not very far), they really need SOMETHING from their childhood to have been worth something and theyre DESPERATELY latching onto that thing being xander. as like, a fellow kid their father completely fucked up

23. when do they feel the most beautiful?

INTERESTING question. honestly i think theyre so self conscious and like. werent really allowed to embrace their gender nonconformity or explore identity or expression that they probably havent felt like that since they were really little? probably since before the war started. i dont think theyve felt like theyve been able to be themself since. even the cowboy get up is like. a defensive thing

43. is your character known to be the one that causes problems for the party (wether it be intentional or not)? how do they feel about that? if not, how do they feel about the person who does tend to be the one causing problems?

literally evil for these question choices rowan. you fully know what youre doing. OKAY LISTEN YEAH ERLEY CAUSES A LOT OF PROBLEMS. THEY ARE NOT DOING ANY OF THEM ON PURPOSE. IN FACT THEY ARE TRYING VERY VERY HARD TO BE GOOD AND ALSO BEATING THEMSELF UP VERY VERY HARD FOR MAKING MISTAKES. its also very funny on like, a meta level, that every time i plan a nice scene or a good interaction with erley and another pc, either i get the WORST rolls of all time or something goes HORRIBLY wrong before the scene can happen. like this happens. constantly. a few games ago erley embroidered a little scene with the druid's dog and some flowers and left it outside her room and then we IMMEDIATELY WENT INTO A TRIPLE HOMICIDE SCENE so they never talked about it. a while ago they were going to try to apologize to seir and make up with her and then the morning they were going to do it she got framed for murder kind of because of them. this has happened like 8 times. the gods simply hate erley

#EVIL ROWAN. EVIL!!!#(affectionate)#<3 #erley tag

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noahhernandez · 4 years

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2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same !

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me.

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol.

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol.

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago.

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit.

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected.

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it.

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness.

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library.

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so. IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot.

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me.

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds.

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying.

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>???

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of.

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward.

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it.

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :(

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful.

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes.

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer.

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think 39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school). 40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart.

#personal

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its-3am-sadness · 4 years

Text

getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.