#they said we don’t claim jesse after being desperate to have a relationship with him for years and being distraught over his death

[gracecarstairss]

The fact that when Christopher was young, he saw Gabriel crying when Jesse died and decided to dedicate his life to science partly in honor of Jesse, and there is absolutely no acknowledgement that Jesse is related to ANY of the Lightwoods whatsoever….

#they said we don’t claim jesse after being desperate to have a relationship with him for years and being distraught over his death #btw this info is from the Penultimate Hours #Anna Thomas christopher and eugenia never acknowledged jesse was their cousin either like what #we were robbed of Gideon and Gabriel’s reaction to meeting jesse #the last hours #jesse blackthorn #christopher lightwood #gideon lightwood #gabriel lightwood #chain of thorns spoilers #chot spoilers

[thesquidkid]

Together we can quiet all the noises

3k of malex fluff post 3x09 (Read on ao3)

Alex woke up slowly, feeling his face buried into something warm. As he came to his senses, he realised his entire body was wrapped against a human size pillow, making him hum in comfort. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the light coming through the curtains. Once his eyes were used to it, he met Michael’s soft eyes and warm smile, who was playing with his hair.

Alex had both his arms around Michael’s right leg, his head on his lap, while Michael was sitting against the headboard, one hand in Alex’s hair and the other holding a book, smiling down on Alex.

“Morning,” Michael said softly, not to disturb Alex, “how are you feeling?”

Alex took a few seconds to think about his answer, enjoying the warmth and the comfort of Michael’s alien body and the blanket. The events of the last few days came back to him, still a bit hazy, but clear enough that he remembered nearly everything. He remembered working on the Lockhart machine longer than he should’ve, missing his and Michael’s first public date, hallucinating Nora, their conversation, standing on the ledge, nearly dying.

But he also remembered Michael coming to save him, them working on the machine together and cutting out his father’s piece from it, Michael driving him back home and Alex falling asleep, Michael holding him close.

“Better,” he answered eventually, deciding that he wasn’t good yet, but wanted to work on it. Michael smiled and continued to play with his hair. Alex sighed, making Michael chuckle, but not stop.

He had a pensive look on his face, having put his book down on the bedside table, clearly playing words in his head, finding the best way to say what he wanted. And so Alex waited, neither of them were in a hurry.

After some time, Michael spoke up again, his voice barely more than a whisper, “You could’ve died, Alex.” He took a shaky breath, his eyes never leaving Alex’s, “I only just got you back, losing you - I can’t -” he went off, looking up and blinking the tears away.

Alex, feeling much better physically after a good night's sleep, sat up to face Michael. He raised a hand to his cheek rubbing the tears away with his thumb. “I’m sorry,” he said, matching Michael’s whisper.

“I know,” he replied, “but next time, call me?”

And Alex thought about that. Michael wasn’t asking him to call so he could stop him from whatever brave or stupid plan he had. Michael wasn’t asking Alex to call him to blame or criticise or whatever it is that both of them would’ve done in the past.

No, this time, Michael wanted Alex to call him so he could help. So he could be present by Alex’s side, just like he was when they worked on the machine together. And Alex knew that it worked both ways now. That Michael understood why Alex had worked on the machine for so long, why he had to.

More unspoken words, Alex thought. Except this time, they also spoke words. This time, they asked each other for help when they needed it.

“I will,” Alex replied, a promise.

Their faces were only a few inches away, and even though they had both grown, had started to communicate more with each other, there was still a language they were fluent in.

Whereas in the past it was usually in a hurry, a stopwatch over their heads, counting down the days, the hours, the minutes until they had to separate, now they had all the time in the world.

It was slow, yet still desperate. Desperate for love, fear still running in their veins. But there was hope too. Hope for a future together. Their lips met, moving as one rhythm, hands coming to their hair, a dance they knew by heart, but was still as exhilarating as the first time.

Until a loud rumble came from between them, making them separate, Michael barely hiding his laugh and Alex blushing. He never cursed his stomach as much as in that moment. He leaned into Michael once more, hoping to continue the dance that was just interrupted, but Michael leaned away, putting his hands on Alex’s shoulder and pushing him away.

Alex wanted to be mad, but looking at the love on Michael’s face, he realised that they had time to do all they wanted. And now, he also realised he wanted food.

His stomach seemed to agree once more, making itself heard. This time, Michael didn’t even bother, and giggled loudly, his shoulder moving up and down, and soon Alex was joining him.

When they both caught their breaths again, Michael pushed Alex down, carefully, against the mattress, straddling his hips, before kissing his nose and getting off the bed. Alex’s hand, who had landed against Michael’s naked hip, followed the other man, then fell on the bed, dramatically. Michael simply rolled his eyes at the scene in front of him, smiling at Alex’s pout.

“I’ll get the bath ready for you then I’ll make you some lunch, how about that?” he asked, in answer to Alex’s stomach.

Alex hummed at the mention of a bath, his water bill would be higher this month, this being the second bath he took since Michael took him home from Deep Sky.

“Wait lunch? How long did I sleep?” he asked in amazement, he had gone to bed at merely 6 pm, so this would possibly be the longest sleep he had since - well since forever now that he thought about it, his father having applied the military clock in the house.

“About 17-18 hours? I woke up around 9,” Michael replied with a shrug. According to him, Alex still needed much more sleep, and maybe to never leave the bed where the two could cuddle all day.

Alex turned around, looking at the clock on the bedside table for the first time since he woke up. It showed 11:36 am. So he had indeed sleeped for the longest in his entire life. Maybe he should do that again, if it got him such amazing sleep…

He realised he had said that at loud, when Michael nearly shouted No! with a scandalised face, before turning around to start on lunch.

“Wait!” Alex called out after him, making Michael turn around so fast his neck nearly snapping, “can, uh, can I help you? With lunch,” he added at Michael’s confused look, making him smile.

“I didn’t know you cooked, private,” Michael replied with a smug smile, which quickly faltered at Alex’s expression.

“I don’t, I usually order take out or eat prepared food,” he said, with sadness and a hint of disappointment in his voice. His dad never thought teaching his kids cooking was necessary, and his mom left before he could even have solid memories of her.

Seeing Alex feeling down, and deciding that he could curse Jesse Manes and his shitty parenting all he wanted, right now his focus was Alex. “I always dreamt of giving a soldier orders,” Michael said instead, trying to get a smile out of Alex.

And it worked, “Fuck you,” the other man laughed out. “Oh and, I don’t have much food in my kitchen…” he continued, feeling slightly ashamed of his cooking skills, or the lack thereof.

“Alex,” Michael said, stopping the spiraling and gaining Alex’s attention, “I literally learned to cook in a junkyard, I - we - will be able to cook something delicious,” he replied with confidence, catching himself up. If Alex wanted to help, how much of a catastrophe could it end up being?

In the end, they decided that the bath could wait until after Alex had eaten something, so they got dressed and made their way to the kitchen, where Alex sat on the counter watching Michael open all his cabinets.

He had often dreamt of that moment, when he would wake up next to Michael in bed, and could see him cook something. He had heard a lot from Maria about Guerin’s cooking skills, and wanted to test them for himself.

Michael, after having a look through all the cabinets, stood up and faced Alex. “Okay so,” he said, standing in between Alex’s legs, “I think I overestimated the food you have.”

All while he talked, he rubbed his hands up and down Alex’s body, making him hum and smile, “But, lucky for you, I am an expert in throwing weird stuff together and hoping for them best.”

“Sure, but we will need to go grocery shopping together soon,” Alex chuckled, putting his arms around Michael’s neck and playing with the curls.

“Oh thank god!” he exhaled, leaning his head into Alex’s shoulder, “I didn’t want to offend you, but babe, this is bad.”

Alex felt more than heard Michael’s laugh against his neck, and couldn’t help but join, somehow not ashamed of his cabinets. Michael had reacted in such a way that Alex was at ease, every cell in his body content to just stay in this embrace, to have Michael against him and to play with his hair. However, his stomach once more decided to separate them.

Michael detached himself from Alex and kissed his pout away, before reaching for a saucepan and giving him instruction.

They cooked in a light atmosphere, music coming out of Alex’s phone, Michael occasionally reaching to him to make sure he didn’t overcook anything. They moved around each other with an ease neither knew was there. Michael still didn’t quite know where everything was and would open three cabinets before finding what he was looking for, Alex claiming that he didn’t know enough about cooking to help. More than once they bumped into each other, both reaching for the same spatula, or both heading to check the pasta.

Once everything was prepared, they separated the food into two plates and sat at the table to eat, sitting in front of each other. Lunch turned out delicious - not that Alex had any doubt. They had made Tagliatelle with white sauce and tins of corn and carrots. It was simple, but to Alex? It was the best meal he had ever eaten.

“It’s because you haven’t eaten properly in two days,” Michael had said with a slight blush after Alex had complimented his cooking.

They ate, talking about nothing yet everything. Sharing little stories they knew the other didn’t know. Little facts that didn’t matter over the course of the last decade. But that mattered now that they were both ready for a steady relationship.

Afterwards, Alex went to take a bath while Michael did the dishes. He knocked on the door and opened it once Alex had agreed. He was met with the sight of Alex laying under a slim cover of soap, barely hiding anything, his eyes merely opened, an arm on the edge of the bath.

“I, uh, finished the dishes,” Michael said, trying to print this image in his head forever. Alex, relaxed, happy.

“Wanna join?” Alex asked, with a tilt of his head. This was new territory for the both of them. They had seen each other naked, obviously, but it was always with the rush of sex, and never with something as domestic as a bath.

Michael nodded with a smile and started to take off his clothes, feeling suddenly very self-conscious about his body. Any doubts he had however, flew out the window when he saw the look in Alex’s eyes. It wasn’t a look of pure lust. Of course the want and lust was there, how could it not be between them, but it was also accompanied by something deeper, something that Michael had never dared to imagine. Love. Admiration. Those were words both dropped after their teenage years. After they realised the hurt and pain the world could cause. After they realised that that hurt and pain came from their love.

But there wasn’t any pain in their love anymore. The scars they wore, both physical and mental, didn’t only bring pain and heartbreak anymore. They were also symbols of the battles they fought to get to this exact moment, naked in front of each other, in more ways than one.

And so Michael joined it, and after the awkward shifts, they leaned into each other, Michael in between Alex’s legs, his head bent in an awkward angle so it could lean on Alex’s shoulder while also looking at him.

They got cleaned, but it was less needed as the bath and shower they took the day before, so they simply relaxed and enjoyed the moment.

After getting dried and dressed, they questioned what to do for the rest of the day. Where before they would have jumped on the occasion to head to bed and have quick, intense, sex, this time they were conscious about it. Alex’s leg was still sore from having worn the prosthetic for so long without a break, and he could also feel each of his muscles tense when he moved. So sex was out of the equation for now. And neither felt bad about it. They just needed to figure out what a couple did on a lazy afternoon.

They couldn’t go to the movies, Alex’s brain and eyes wouldn’t be very happy with it all. And Alex mentioned that technically the only date he had ever been on was at a paintball place, so really he shouldn’t be taken into account when making decisions.

And this is how Michael got his idea (not that he would ever thank Forrest for it).

He drove them into town, telling Alex that it was a surprise, and parked his truck on the main square. He opened the door to Alex, who answered with an eye roll and a blush, and led him towards the library.

They weren’t holding hands, knowing that Roswell was still not a very queer-friendly place, and not really in the mood for bigots, but they were walking close enough that their shoulders would occasionally bump. In their own little bubble, they opened the door to the library, and on instinct Michael made his way to the physics and space section, before remembering why he was there.

Today wasn’t about borrowing a book about space or relativity or agriculture. No, today was about giving him and Alex something that neither had growing up.

Ignoring Alex’s confused questions, he took them to the children’s section, passed all the books and opened the glass doors to the games section. He chuckled as he saw Alex start to understand what they were doing there.

“I didn’t even know there were so many games here,” he said in amazement.

“I know!” Michael replied, “I only found out about it cause some kid got lost in the engineering section.”

They separated to browse all the different games, agreeing to start with two games each and see where the rest of the afternoon would go.

The only inconvenience about the room they were in was that it was built for children and wasn’t the most comfortable for Alex. But Michael, having decided that this day was going to be perfect, went to talk to the librarians - who he was starting to know well, coming here to use their computers or borrow books as often as he could. He came back with a smile, indicating to Alex that they were going to make an exception for them, and allow them to take the games to a reading room by the side, where there were bigger tables and chairs.

And so they played. They played Clue (Alex won, but not by much), Milles Bornes (Michael won, Alex insisted he cheated), Timeline (Alex won, Michael blames the high school history lessons), made funny figures in Chrominos, and struggled to understand the rules of Backgammon, before ending with a Game of Trains.

One of the librarians - Christie - had to come tell them that the library was closing in 10 minutes, but she barely broke their bubble of comfort. They tidied all the games and put them back on the shelves, helping a little girl put back a game of Monopoly, and left.

Once in the truck, Michael didn't drive away straight off. Instead, he turned to Alex, sharing all his emotions in a single look. Unspoken words. Alex replied by putting his hand on his arm, “Next time, I will crush you at Milles Bornes,” he said with a smile. Next time. Because there will be a next time, they both knew it.

They didn’t drive back to Alex’s house, still buzzing with happiness and comfort. Instead, they drove to the Crashdown and sat at a booth, enjoying burgers and fries and milkshakes. And they made plans for the next day. They would go shopping together, Michael deciding whatever he wanted to buy. Afterwards they would enjoy each other and the comfort of Alex’s bed. And once they were well rested, they would go to the Pony. Together.

That word rang differently too. They have been seen together across town, and in the Pony before. But back then, they weren’t together together.

Alex paid for their dinner, insisting that Michael had cooked lunch and had the idea for the library, and had taken care of him for the last 24 hours.

As they left the diner, saying goodbye to Arturo, their fingers found themselves entwined, and they walked to Michael’s truck, hand in hand, without a care for the world.

That day, even though it followed a very traumatising event, was one of the best days they ever had. They learned a new dance, and they couldn’t wait to get home to continue it. After all, they had time ahead of them.

#never thouhgt id write romance #and here i am with my 5th malex fic 😂 #i guess theres something about them #finally being free to love one another #makes me feel feelings #also all the games listed are great games #and i have no idea what the roswell library looks like or if it even has a board games section #my libary does have a game section tho #so it's all based on it #michael guerin #alex manes #malex fic #roswell new mexico #rnm #rnm fic #thesquidkid writes

[liloelsagranger]

Night shift - finally a new Rocketshipping-fanfiction

My dear friends,

it’s been a while since I last posted an entry. Let me tell you why and what, besides Covid-19, made me pause from publishing fanfictions over the last couple of months. Of course, Switzerland was very affected by the pandemic and still is today. We had numerous lock-downs or as Swiss people call it “slow downs”. My mother got very sick last year, I almost lost her. The doctors said she would only live two or three more days, but my mom is a fighter. She had to stay at the hospital for months, she endured countless medical examinations, had to take meds and slowly learned to live again. I’m so proud of my mother that she was strong and determined to get better. When she turned back home, I started to take care of her and I hate to leave her on her own, even if we’re talking about half an hour or less. Right now, she’s doing quite good, actually, we’re on vacation and she makes a great effort to participate in life in Italy. She’s my role-model! She will never be the same as before, but she won’t give up, she wakes up every morning to make progress. I prayed for her and her well-being, I prayed every single night she might get another chance and now we’re here at the beach and dining in fancy restaurants. It’s been a horrible year for everyone, a year full of sorrow, tears and desperation, a year where I was constantly afraid, the hospital would call me with some bad news, but she did it! She survived and she fights for her life! So proud! Good news is: I passed my doctoral exams and I’m officially allowed to call myself Dr. phil. des. Melanie C. but that won’t ever stop me from loving Team Rocket so here it is - a brand new Rocketshipping-fanfiction for you guys. LOVE YOU! Night shift

Chapter 1:

It was past ten o’clock when that miserable looking guy entered the diner. He inconspicuously sat down in the farthest corner of the café and immediately hid his face behind the menu card. Nevertheless, Jessie the waitress could make out the pathetic expression on his face, how he was cowering like a whipped dog. She had seen quite a bit in this diner. Drunks, thugs, addicts and other needy people who asked for a sympathetic ear, compassion and understanding, but that guy was different. He suffered terribly, but did not dare to communicate, instead he hid from the world so as not to attract attention and quietly endure his fate. Jessie had to do something about it. Of course, she didn’t want to play the Good Samaritan. She knew the tricks of the men who entered this diner. Most of the time, they told the waitress tall tales, hoping to be comforted, whatever they meant by that. But this young man did not make a shady impressionHe was well dressed, looked well-groomed, and Jessie was especially struck by his bright emerald green eyes, the only thing in his face that had not yet been veiled by grief and sorrow. She decided to do something about his displeasure.

“Did you have a rough day?” she asked while disinfecting the table.

He looked briefly into her eyes and nodded. “That’s one way to put it,” he answered, the gaze immediately lowered again.

This would be a taciturn conversation, but Jessie didn’t give up easily, she was a natural at making even rocks talk.

“Listen! No matter what happened, I’ve seen or heard some things. If I can help you in any way, my name is Jessie and I’m in charge of this table today. Let me just get the gum out from under your seat and get you a cold drink. What would you like?” She pulled a spatula from her apron and rubbed away the remains of the spoiled brats that marred her diner.

‘Wow,’ the young man thought to himself. ‘A strong, self-confident woman who lends a hand herself and who’s not above cleaning up dirt.’ Their eyes met briefly, and he forced a wry smile.

“You know, kid. You can’t rely on anyone. If you want to get everything done, do it yourself and don’t trust anyone. This world doesn’t give you anything for granted!” She briefly wiped the back of his chair before disappearing behind the counter and pouring the young man an ice-cold Coke.

“I have rarely seen you so concerned about a customer. Normally you show yourself aloof and only take the order, so as not to get involved in embarrassing conversations. Must be a really great pike, this pathetic creature in the far corner. Could it be that you’ve got a tiny crush on this guy?” For Eddy, teasing his best friend was the greatest pleasure. He didn’t know her like that. Jessie usually resisted any kind of small talk. This was due to her dark past, when she had repeatedly fallen for advances from men who were never looking for a steady relationship, but for a quick fix. Eddy had witnessed this bad time of his friend, how her heart was broken, how she was badly played with, and how she was simply dropped like a hot potato. Jack was the worst example of them all. While Jessie was already hearing the wedding bells ringing, he was making love to the women of the Strip and deceiving Jessie night after night with other broads. Jessie was devastated when she found out Jack was cheating on her. She was furious, not even at her lying boyfriend, but at herself for having been so stupid as to trust a man.

Jessie gave Eddy a light pat on the head. “Don’t be silly! That time is over. I can take care of myself, I don’t need male support for that. I’m a big girl, I make my own dough, and I keep my head above water pretty well. No, not a chance, I’ve sworn off flirting.” Nevertheless, she caught herself as her gaze wandered to the young man in the corner. “Oh yes, this time is definitely over,” Eddy smirked.

“Jessie, could you bring us a side of fries, please?” Misty’s order echoed throughout the hall. The twenty-year old waved her hands. She was used to speaking loudly, almost shouting, to attract guests to her daily water Pokémon show. Sometimes she walked up and down the streets of the Strip all day in the blazing hot sun, trying to win people for her underwater attraction. As an excellent student, she could have taught at any college, but she had decided early on to get into show business and make her living doing what she really loved, joined by Dewgong and Starmie. Her parents had not agreed with this decision at all, it was wasted talent, they had claimed, and had summarily turned Misty out the door. Since then, she had been struggling through life on her own, but could always count on Jess, the diner and her two best friends, Ash and Brock, young people who were also not favoured by fate.

“Temper your voice, twerp!” Jessie couldn’t help but grin. She spread the ketchup bottles around the table, hoping Ash wouldn’t spill on himself and the diner again. His constant companion Pikachu immediately hopped on his shoulder, grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. Ash and his Pokémon were carnies. He had trained his friend well and attracted many spectators with his performance. Most of them felt sorry for the guy and tipped generously. That’s why Ash was able to invite his friends to the diner every night, a place that gave them hope where they could experience security. They were convinced that nothing would ever disturb this idyll and that fate, for better or worse, had taken its course.

“Who’s that guy over there?” Brock wanted to know. He had barely sold chocolate and roses tonight. The others held back, but they were certain that their friend was just too pushy with women and that’s why he only collected rejections instead of green bills.

“I’ve never seen him here before. Must be from another area. I can’t tell you for the life of me why he’s wearing a suit at theses temperatures, he looks pretty pathetic to me anyways,” Jessie replied.

“Maybe his car has stalled,” Ash suggested, “and now he was forced to wander through the desert until the tasty aromas from your diner brought him back from his delirium.”

“Or,” Brock interfered, “he had to flee his own wedding because his wife is a real pain in the ass, unlike our sweet Misty,” Brock oohed at his friend. “Forget it, Brock! You and me, this will never happen!” She gave him a gentle poke.

“Enough now with your naïve speculations! Just let him enjoy his drink. We’re closing soon, so get going,” Jessie dismissed their absurd ideas with a wave of her hand, but at this point no one knew how right Brock was.

Dark thoughts hunted the young man. He knew what he would face at home if he was late. Beatings, torture, rebuke, harassment, were just a few words to describe his failed relationship. Unconsciously, he stroked his scarred arms.

“Can I get you something to eat?” Jessie pulled him out of the maelstrom of bad thoughts, of course she had noticed the wounds, but maybe he had gotten those injuries at work. The young man rummaged some coins out of his pants and let them jingle on the table. “Is that enough for a cheese sandwich?” Jessie hated small change, but she would make an exception for him. A friendly smile, a quick nod, and she passed on the order.

“Something’s wrong with this guy,” she whispered to Eddy. “He’s scarred, bruised and pays with penny coins. Possibly a vagrant.” Eddy couldn’t help but grin. “That guy’s been keeping you busy all night, Jess. What’s the matter with you? Are you getting weak?”

The young man could not overhear the conversation between the waiters, but he was sure they were talking about him. He sure made a rather frightening impression, but that was a private matter and not something you shared with a waitress in a diner.

His gaze drifted to the daily paper, which had two faces emblazoned on it: Butch and Cassidy. He had never heard of this odd couple, but according to the news, theses two were causing quite a stir and were terrifying the Strip.

“Oh, so you’ve already spotted them, those two knuckleheads! They keep the Strip in suspense, and heads roll when the taxes don’t add up,” Jessie served him the cheese sandwich and gave him a slight smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” He thanked her and took a hearty bite of his dinner.

The last half hour flew by and the remaining guests left the diner to spend the night on the Strip, as very few had a roof over their heads. Jessie set about cleaning up and Eddy checked the register.

The young man stood up and made his way towards the door. But before he left the diner, he glanced back at Jessie for a moment. A sigh escaped him. What if…?

Jessie returned his gaze and watched him go until the young man disappeared. She walked right up to his table and found a little note on the receipt.

“Thanks for treating me like a human being, James.” 

#rocketshipping #rocketshipper #pokemon #teamrocket #james #james team rocket #jessie #jessie team rocket #rokettodan #pokemonfanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #new #update #musashi #kojiro #takeshi #brock #ash #satoshi #misty #eddy #story #newstory #lovestory #nightshift #love #relationship #lovely #cute

[sigurdjarlson]

I've loved all of your succ takes so far, so this is me greedily angling for more >:) So, what are some ways in which you'd like to see the Greg Backstory come up in the show? Any ideas for how different pieces of gregstory might come out?

Thank you so much! :D I’m glad you’re enjoying them. I was starting to worry I was annoying people honestly

Oh boy this got super fucking long I’m sorry lmao

Hmm Greg is a character who’s not only written ambiguously but also a lot of stuff I know about him comes from the writers and Nic not the show itself. You’ll see me say “Nic said” or “Jesse said” a lot because honestly a lot of what I know (or assume) about Greg comes from them.

Greg hasn’t really been explored as deeply or as meaningfully as the other characters. He’s usually given the comedic relief role. Not always but sometimes.

I think interestingly enough one of the best ways they could do this is by killing off Ewan.

I don’t think Ewan has much of a purpose in the show anymore (sorry to his actor he’s great) especially if we assume he never wants to see Greg again after the whole suing Greenpeace.

This is a great opportunity for giving us some actual meaningful emotional shit with Greg. Because he does genuinely love his grandfather and he did want a connection with him.

We can assume Ewan is the main father figure in his life after his dad left. (We don’t know anything about Marianne’s marital status or relationship history) but Ewan is..incapable of having an emotional connection with his grandson.

I’m not saying he doesn’t love him deep down. He might. Just like Logan loves his kids deep down but he still treats them terribly. (Love isn’t redeeming if you don’t show it the right way) and while I highly doubt Ewan was as terrible to Greg as Logan is to his kids I think the emotional distance and general air of disappointment and annoyance he has with Greg has messed him up a bit.

This is undoubtedly because of how Ewan and Logan were raised by their uncle who was apparently very abusive. Ewan can’t connect with his grandson in a normal way.

Ewan talks big about how he’s better than his brother and maybe in some ways he’s right but he’s also just a different type of Logan.

He is manipulative and downright kinda cruel. He dangles his inheritance over his head and cuts his own daughter off for what Greg did. He claims to be the moral one but he keeps Logan on the board and is apparently content to live off the money they make off people’s misery. He had a chance to get mr worse than Hitler out of power but chose not to.

We get a little more from Nic and Jesse who say Ewan was stingy with his money so any money he gave to Greg and Marianne had to be rationed.

And they weren’t living in luxury based on what we know. Greg has never had a nice pair of shoes like the ones Tom got him according to Jesse Armstrong. He’s in awe of the luxury he sees the Roys living in.

Why the hell is Marianne struggling with debt and Greg sleeping on a church pew if Ewan can afford to take care of them?

I think he probably thought he was avoiding ending up with spoiled kids like the Roy kids if he kept them living humbly but..the sad thing is that didn’t quite work?

He ended up creating a kid and a grandson who are so focused on survival that they’ll be just as bad if not worse than the Roy kids if they feel they have to be. They’ll do whatever it takes to survive. And people who are desperate are dangerous.

Greg’s motivations are different from the Roys and they come from not having anything, from struggling and not wanting to ever struggle again. There’s a desperation, a survival instinct, that he runs on.

He’s greedy not because he’s always had everything and he’s used to it but because he once had nothing and now wants everything. He doesn’t want to go back to being nothing.

And sometimes I wonder if he doesn’t feel some level of jealousy or resentment for that side of the family even if he’s not aware of it (remember he probably doesn’t know or comprehend how badly the Roys had it as kids) because his grandfather is rich like Logan and simply chose not to give them much at all

Maybe he feels Ewan should have. And you know maybe he should have and just tried to really drive home how it’s important to be thankful. Idk but does Greg ever wonder “why do they deserve it when I apparently don’t? Why do they get all this and I don’t?” If his father hadn’t married his mother he’d be a Roy too.

They talk about how Greg does want the power and money. He’s never been driven to do anything with his life until now. According to Nic (I keep saying this but damn it so much of my info on Greg didn’t even come from the show itself. It came from Nick and Jesse talking about Greg lmao) his mom kept him rather sheltered and didn’t encourage him to you know spread his spread his wings and all that.

He wants to be someone and now he has the chance to be. He wants to be important. The kind of life they live is dangerously seductive. The power, the money, the general lifestyle..

And what really tugs at my heartstrings with Greg is the fact that Nic says it’s really not his only motivation. He wants to be a part of something, he wants a family. “There are enough good moments with these people that he feels like he’s a part of the Roy clan”

This kinda tells us he obviously wasn’t getting affection at home (and with Ewan that’s obvious and Marianne seems like she might be similiar in that regard).

Greg wants affection. He wants to be loved and liked. He’ll turn down a quarter of a million dollars just because his horrible uncle who made him crawl around on the floor and oink like a pig said he likes him.

All it took to make Greg look into the “death pit” is Tom telling him he’s family. Greg literally thanks him for that.

But also he’s wising up I think. Greg Sprinkles really showed him just how little these people care about him and how little they think of him.

Nic says it is definitely a part of why he went with Kendall. He saw how willing they were to throw him under the bus. He realized they don’t care.

He doesn’t fall for it the second time Logan pulls the you’re family and we’re all worried about you line. He looks very skeptical and promptly responds with what amounts to yeah no…what do I get out of it? He isn’t exactly a good negotiator but he does try.

For better or worse (mostly worse) he’s learning how to play the game. He’s learning you have to look out for yourself first and foremost and that’s what he’s doing. It doesn’t matter if they’re family. They’ll fuck him over in a second so why shouldn’t he do the same? He was already pretty focused on survival but now I think he might just become more ruthless about it.

“Who’s ever looked after you in this fucking family?” Tom asks and without saying it we know Greg knows the answer.

He’s watching the Roy’s backstab each other every other day, sees how willing they are to throw him under the bus and he gets actively praised for doing shit like blackmailing people. (Both Tom and Ken do this)

I disagree with the sentiment that Greg has been amoral from day 1 I see people talk about a lot. I do think Greg had some semblance of morals when he came into the show. He’s self serving but not evil. Nic says that streak of good is genuine. He wasn’t like a saint out there doing charity all the time obviously but there’s a sweetness to him, a sort of naivety. (His words)

Hell, Nic even says his initial concern is genuine unlike Kendall who is very performative. He is genuinely bothered by what happens at ATN.

I think people forget Tom is hardly a reliable narrator there. (He’s also kind of projecting. He knows you can’t have morals in this world. He threw his own out the window so Greg better wise up and do the same) Greg does mean what he says there even if he can’t voice it outright

Tom really said I can make him worse and did

He perhaps did have principles but he also ends up having none in the end because he can’t stand by them. That doesn’t mean he didn’t genuinely feel appalled at first or find ATN disgusting. It means he shoved that aside in favor of greed and that’s the tragedy.

We see Greg choose to be worse and go against what he knows is right. He makes increasingly selfish and greedy choices as the series goes. That’s the tragedy of his character’s journey. You can’t stay good or even just decent in that world. It actively twists you into a worse person. It brings out the absolute worst in people.

And that’s only the fault of the people who decide to stay and participate. That’s what makes Greg a shitty person. If he was a horrible person from the beginning it wouldn’t be a very good corruption arc?

(Also he’s seen the moral side and it didn’t get him shit. *gestures to Ewan and Ken* also both Ken and Ewan are super hypocritical so that’s a bit..well I’d be disillusioned too)

That’s what makes “what am I going to do with a soul anyway?” a really gut wrenching line actually.

Oh my god this got away from me. Anyway yes I think a great way to explore Greg as a character would be to kill Ewan.

Because I’m not sure Greg has processed that he might have lost his grandfather forever already. I’m not sure he realizes Ewan might really be fucking done with him.

And if he dies that’s going to hit him hard because if there ever was a possibility of reconciliation it’s gone now. It’s not even an option.

His grandfather died hating him.

His grandfather who he does genuinely love and is presumably one of the few constants in his life up until now even if he wasn’t a good grandfather.

I would love to see that hit him and break him down. I can see him initially not really responding to the news with any kind of huge amount of emotion, kind of like shock. But at some point it will hit him and it’s going to fucking hurt him when it does. Greg represses shit but the thing about repression is it all has to come out eventually.

And of course the funeral will probably be in Canada. I’m sure Marianne will attend so we’ll be able to see her in person rather than on the phone for once and actually be with her son. (Whether this would be a good thing for Greg I’m not sure yet. We don’t know enough about her)

They could easily have him (or Marianne even) talk about his childhood during this, both involving Ewan and otherwise.

ALSO I think it would be very interesting how Logan responds to Ewan’s death. Because while they seem to hate each other right don’t think they do completely. It’s still his big brother and I’m always fascinated when Logan shows these very rare tiny bits of humanity. Like I don’t think he’s going to cry or anything but I can see it affecting him somehow.

(I really wanna know more about Logan and Ewan’s childhood tbh)

I also think this would be prime time for Logan to manipulate Greg into being his pawn. Whether that be against Tom or just in general. Greg would I think fall for it all over again if he’s in a vulnerable enough state (also Greg is bizarrely forgiving sometimes) and Logan obviously wouldn’t be above using Greg’s grief to get what he wants.

It’s a horrible thought but I often think about how Nic keeps mentioning this kinship between Greg and Logan. And how they have Logan saying he likes him in the first draft of the pilot. He thinks he has potential. (So maybe he did mean it when he said it to Greg in canon. That’s not really a good thing though..)

Also I could see him wanting to purposefully piss his kids off by making Greg his new favorite.

I think he might actually respect Greg and Tom more than his own kids because they didn’t grow up rich like they did.

Of course there’s no way this ends well for Greg. Logan is a monster. He’ll manipulate and abuse him just like he does his own kids. Hell, he already has. But the more enmeshed he becomes with his uncle in this scenario the worse it will get.

Not only would Greg probably end up being a faaaar worse person than he is now even under Logan’s influence but he’s going to end up chasing someone’s approval and love he will never get. A lesson the Roy kids haven’t ever truly learned themselves. I’m not sure they ever will.

Logan will toss him to the side if he stops being useful. And that would be an agonizing reminder that yeah..they really don’t care about you Greg. Not at all. He’ll leave him broken and with nothing at all. And If he’s burned all his bridges at Logan’s behest then he won’t even have anyone else to go to. He’ll be alone and it’ll be his own fault for making the choices he did.

(Logan has no problem screwing over people he “likes” or even loves. Maybe he likes that ruthlessness that Greg is capable of if pushed. His kids don’t have it completely. Not when it comes to him or each other. Hell look at how he responded to Tom betraying his own daughter.)

But I think this dynamic would be absolutely fascinating if they actually explored it in depth. A tragic, horrible one but an interesting insight into both characters. Maybe get some more backstory through that.

I also think there’s some lovely potential for Tom and Greg moments if Ewan dies. I would love to see him comfort Greg. (Tom has never seen Greg break down and cry either) and if Greg opens up to anyone about his childhood and his grief it would be to Tom.

Also there’s of course the possibility of bringing his absentee gay dad back into his life somehow which will make him have to deal with his daddy issues.

Hmm Greg having to deal with his feelings for Tom could also do the same thing, make him face issues he’d rather not think about. Maybe he opens up to Tom.

In general I just want more genuine character moments from Greg. Not just the comedic stuff. I mean that stuff is great but I need more than that. I want to see raw emotion and depth. We get the occasional scrap but not nearly enough.

The potential is there (they apparently talk about it but they aren’t really showing us in the actual show) they just haven’t embraced it fully yet. I just hope they don’t continue to ignore it

(Honestly I’m not sure they expected Greg to become a fan favorite and they’re not quite sure what to do with him sometimes.)

#asks #I am a Greg girl at heart #succession asks #greg hirsch

[tumblingclockwork]

HI LEAF IVE BEEN HYPERFIXATING ON MC STORY MODE AND ON STAMPYCAT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT STAMPYCAT BEING THE WHITE PUMPKIN IT SOUNDS SO COOL

HELLO HI YES I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO EXPLAIN

Before I start I wanna give a huge shout out to @mephones-declining-mental-health who was actually the first to point a lot of this out. We spent a lot of time putting this all together and she deserves a ton of credit for it. So go check them out.

ok so mcsm is an old game so quick refresher on episode 6: Jesse and his gang end up in another world and are put into a murder-mystery type situation. They’re trapped in the mansion due to zombies and have to survive until the day while the person who invited them all to the mansion (who goes by “The White Pumpkin”) kills them off one-by-one in order to obtain the Enchanted Flint And Steel. Which Jesse is also trying to get. Minus the main cast, everyone in this murder mystery is based off and voiced by famous minecraft YouTubers from the time. This was a pretty genius move on TellTale’s part because it meant the players were already going in with a certain level of attachment to these characters, allowing the game to kill them off in a way that would be emotionally impactful without effecting the plot of the overall story that much.

The people you meet in the mansion are the following youtubers: CaptainSparklez, TorqueDawg, StampyCat, TheDiamondMinecart, LDShadowLady, StacyPlays, and CassieRose

Multiple of these YouTubers are killed off (though some can be either saved or killed depending on your choices) and [spoiler warning] Cassie Rose is revealed to be the white pumpkin at the end. Her motivation being that she’s stuck away from her home world for and desperate to get back.

Now here’s the thing: that doesn’t make Any sense.

Cassie doesn’t have a single line or any piece of evidence that would necessarily point to her being the white pumpkin. The only real evidence that points to her feels so last minute and forced. And just completely disregards any other scene in which you were collecting evidence.

This would be less frustrating if there weren’t multiple other people that had far more evidence against them. But the one who has the most undeniable evidence against them? StampyCat.

Now I don’t know if they changed the story halfway through development or if the writers at TellTale are just bad at their jobs (equally likely but there is some evidence to suggest Cassie was not always the intended White Pumpkin) but Stampy has the most evidence, best motive, and would have just been a very interesting villain entirely.

Let’s go over everything.

So for starters. The first murder.

Spoiler alert! But the first murder is TorqueDawg. He stands under a dispenser that shoots him with a poison tipped arrow and he dies.

Now, tipped arrows were a relatively new thing at the time, and the game makes a point out of this. A lot of the characters in the mansion Don’t Know what a tipped arrow is. But a few do.

After the second murder (which we’ll address in a moment) you have the ability to interrogate three of the characters. LDShadowLady, TheDiamondMinecart, and StampyCat

Lizzie (LDShadowLady) is fully aware of the tipped arrows. Both Dan (TheDiamondMinecart) and Stampy point this out. When you ask her about it, she says she does know how to make them and taught others about it.

One of the people she talked about the tip arrows to is Cassie, aka the white pumpkin. So story-wise it does make sense. But Lizzie also states that Stampy had asked her about the tipped arrows, and specifically how to make them. So we know he has full knowledge of them.

But what does Stampy say when you ask him about the tipped arrows?

“I’ve never seen anything like it before”

This is Never addressed. Not once. Stampy blatantly lies about knowledge of a murder weapon when he seemingly has no reason to do so and he gets away with it.

So Stampy 1. Has the ability to create the weapon used for the murder and 2. Felt the need to hide this ability.

So that’s pretty suspicious right off the bat.

Now these interviews are caused by the second murder. So let’s talk about that.

Second murder: CaptainSparklez is pushed into a sand pit and suffocated by a very elaborate redstone trap. The trap is activated by one of the buttons on the table that they’re all sitting at.

Each of the buttons activates the trap, but only one of them was actually pressed. The connection we’re supposed to make here is that the White Pumpkin set up multiple buttons to keep suspicion off of themself.

The people sitting at the buttons were StampyCat, TheDiamondMinecart, LDShadowLady and Jesse’s friend Lucas.

Now you’ll notice that CassieRose, the actual White Pumpkin, is not on this list.

TheDiamondMinecart (Dan) is the one who presses the button. Dan is supposed to be a Red Herring here as he didn’t know what the button would do and pressed it anyway (though he’s a bad red herring. And we’ll discuss that in a moment). Even with the knowledge that it wasn’t the white pumpkin who pressed it, it doesn’t make any sense for her to have not been sitting at a seat with a button. And this is never really addressed either. Making this scene a complete waste of time, unless of course the original white pumpkin was intended to be one of those 4 people.

The interviews give us a lot of knowledge about the interpersonal relationships of the characters and what their skill levels are. Such as what I discussed earlier about the tipped arrows. But one thing that stays consistent is Jesse’s insistence that whoever the white pumpkin is, they must be good at redstone.

And he’s right. Every trap set by the white pumpkin at this point was redstone activated. Whoever made it must have been very skilled with it. And out of all the suspects there’s only one who has that level of ability. Stampy.

Both Dan and Lizzie make a point of saying that Stampy is a master of redstone and his skill is unmatched. But when Stampy is asked about this, his first instinct is to lie about it. When you catch him in this lie, he immediately back-tracks.

So Stampy

Has knowledge on how to build the first murder weapon (which wasn’t knowledge everyone had at the time)

Completely lies about this knowledge and is never called out for it

Was sitting at one of the buttons that caused the second murder

Is the only one with the redstone knowledge capable of creating the white pumpkins traps.

Lies about his redstone ability

So there you go! That’s a ton of evidence against him! And pretty much no evidence against Cassie other than the fact that she also knew about tipped arrows at the time.

In fact the dinner scene confirms Cassie can’t be a suspect unless we’re supposed to believe she just hoped someone else would do the job for her. Which considering she’s later characterized to be super paranoid and unwilling to leave things to chance, I doubt it.

While looking through secret tunnels you manage to find a secret conversation between Dan and Lizzie where Dan admits that he was the one who pushed the button on accident and that he feels super guilty about it. Jessie spots the white pumpkin looking through a painting at this moment. And considering he’s also seeing Dan and Lizzie, and he knows where Lucas is, out of all the people sitting near buttons, Stampy is the only one left. If the White Pumpkin was someone who was sitting at one of the buttons (which it should have been) it would have had to be Stampy

Now I do think having Dan push the button is realistic and fine. It’s a button. Everyone likes pushing buttons. But the fact that the white pumpkin would Bet On That Happening and not sit near a button at all feels like it couldn’t possibly be right, especially because everything else is so thought through and calculated. It feels out of character for Cassie to do. Cassie being the white pumpkin also means those interview scenes were an entire waste of time. They gave us no real information that could be used in the case and crossed off the real murderer as a possible suspect.

If *Stampy* was the murderer however, this would have made a lot more sense. As the interviews would have given us a lot of info about him and against him. Plus his relationship to the others. Even if Dan turned out to be the one who pressed the button, we still would have gotten that important info on Stampy. Not to mention that Dan just so happening to press the button before the White Pumpkin got a chance is a lot more believable than the White Pumpkin betting on that.

Now the way the story actually goes is that Stampy is revealed to have the enchanted flint and steel (even though before he claimed to not even want it) and as I’ve said, Cassie is revealed to be the white pumpkin.

We learn she’s the white pumpkin because she’s the only one who didn’t have a portrait of herself with a red X over it, which is a sign someone had died. Meaning she was never intended to die at all.

Now because the writing team didn’t put any actual evidence of her being guilty before this, they slip in a Not At All Subtle clue that she’s the white pumpkin.

The white pumpkin’s hide out is Filled with calico cats. The same cats as Winslow (the cat that Cassie had kept with her). And while this is obviously supposed to tell us it’s her, it doesn’t really make much sense as a clue. Considering Winslow is just one cat. A bunch of cats that look like him is sort of out-of-nowhere. She’s had no real evidence against her other than the final connection, meanwhile all signs seem to point to Stampy.

This doesn’t necessarily mean anything but I do think it’s worth mentioning that there is one character who Does have a ton of animals like the ones we see in the white pumpkin’s room. And that’s Stampy. He has a ton of dogs that could have easily taken the place of the cats. But anyway.

This last second Right At The End clue seems to almost indicate that there was some change in writing half way through the process. Before Stampy is revealed to have the flint and steel (which is something that any character could have confessed to and the story would be pretty much the same), the story makes a lot more sense with the idea that Stampy was originally intended to be the white pumpkin. We can also gather that it seems they intended the white pumpkin to be a man, as the protagonists refer to the white pumpkin by he/him pronouns and that assumption is never addressed when they learn the white pumpkin is a girl.

Either that or the writers are just. bad. Which is also very likely.

That’s all the evidence I have. So let’s talk about how story-wise it would have been so much more interesting to make Stampy the white pumpkin.

Cassie is great. But she didn’t get a lot of actual screen time in game until her villain reveal because she really never had any evidence against her. Stampy however got a lot of screen time and was generally the fan favorite when it came to the youtubers that were in episode 6. He was one of the most beloved youtubers at the time and the writers took that into account.

Whenever Stampy was accused of something, he’d play the innocent card. He’d say things like “it’s me! Stampy! I’m everyone’s friend!” In an attempt to get sympathy. Instead of defending himself, he played at the emotions of the people around him. He was played as the sweet innocent character who wouldn’t do anything wrong. I think this would have made him a Great twist villain. It would have made a lot more sense for the end scene as well, as the other youtubers defend Cassie, saying she would “never do something like that”. Which never really made sense considering they all knew one of them must have done it, and none of them had any real connection to her. Defending Stampy or being shocked would have made a lot more sense regarding the relationships of the characters.

His villain reveal would have been so much more surprising as well, as Cassie’s tone quickly shifts to much more malicious once she admits to being the White Pumpkin. And while I do believe shes a very good actor, I do believe the scene would have had an extra punch if the lines were delivered by someone who was previously set up to be the trustworthy friend who wouldn’t hurt a fly

But it’s Cassie’s motive specifically that I think would have fit So Well if Stampy had taken her place.

Cassie wants the flint and steel so that she can return to her home dimension. She’a been stuck here for a very long time and is willing to do anything to get back home. Specifically saying that she needs to get out of this “stupid world”.

Now this will only really make sense for those who are familiar with StampyCat outside of mcsm. But I’ll do my best to explain.

Stampy, as a YouTuber, was known for his “lovely world”. The minecraft world that he loved and cared about a lot. If the plot line was that Stampy specifically was separated from his lovely world, it would have been a great motive that he was desperate to get back it it.

So uh. Yeah! I think that’s all I got. I’m sure me and Worm aren’t the only people who have come to this conclusion but I’m just here to put it all into writing. I’m not sure if this was all a last minute change or sloppy writing but either way I think it’s interesting!

#minecraft story mode #mcsm #minecraft story mode episode 6 #a portal to mystery mcsm #Stampy cat #long post #wooo boy I am a Nerd haha #sorry for the rant there was just a lot to go over- #I typically don’t go off on tangents like this on this blog but hey. you asked and I provided. #anyway I’m so sorry to my followers for the long post about the cringe minecraft game lmao

[bruh--wtf]

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Masterlist

Jess Mariano x Reader

You and Jess had a... complicated relationship.

You first met when he moved to your hometown, Stars Hallow, a few years ago. But, then Luke kicked him out. He broke up with your friend Rory, well he ghosted her. He ghosted you as well.

Rory claimed that he'd been distant before he left. That she thought he didn't like her as much as when they started dating. You denied it, saying he was head over heals for her. But you knew you were lying.

Jess had been distant from Rory. Sometimes it was like he was pretending she was someone else. You confronted him about it and he said he had feelings for someone else.

He never told you who though. He left before you could continue that conversation.

You and Rory both attend Yale now.

Her and Paris Geller are your roomates. You and Rory bonded when you were younger over reading and writing.

But that's not how you got here. Well, sort of, but not completely.

Rory had seen Jess when she went to Stars Hallow. He was apparently sleeping in his csr and called you immediately. You were still at Yale, due to a couple friends wanting to hang out for a few extra days.

You drove there immediately. When you get to Rory and Lorelai's house, you walk in without knocking. Rory walks over to you.

"Are you sure it was him?" You ask. She nods with wide eyes.

"I've gotten over him leaving. We were by no means meant to be together. But, I know you still haven't fully healed, so-" you nod.

"He was asleep in his car?" She nods and Lorelai comes over to you. She looked sympathetic.

"I talked to Luke. I'm sure he let him in." You nod, your head was spinning. "Why don't you stay here tonight?" You look up at Lorelai. You nod, sitting on the couch. The two women go to their respected rooms. Your leg was bouncing and your mind wouldn't shut off.

So, you got up, and got in your car.

When you reached Luke's, you notice his car is gone. He's probably at Nicole's. You try to think of what to do next. Then you remember Luke's spare key. You worked here for a few months before leaving for Yale. With Lane.

You had to hop a little to reach it. You quickly go inside, going up the stairs. Silently thankful for Luke not being there so you could freely yell at Jess.

You walk into the apartment above the diner, looking over at the previously unused bed. Where he was asleep. Seemingly peacful. What an asshole.

You grab a pillow from the couch, walking over to him, throwing it at his head to wake him up. He awakes with a jolt. He looks completely freaked. And pissed. No. He has no right to be pissed.

"What the hell?!" He yells, then his eyes land on you. They take a minute to adjust, he looked a little confused for a second.

"Remember me?" You ask, annoyed. His eyes widen a fraction and any anger that was previously there disappeared. He stands up and you take a step back, happily staying away from him.

"Y/N?"

"Oh, so you do remember me. I couldn't have guessed that," you say sarcastically. He takes a step towards you, and you take yet another one back.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Luke kick-"

"Don't blame Luke for your idiotic decisions!" He sighs.

"You don't know my side of the story," he says.

"You didn't graduate! For a job you could habe easily gotten once you did graduate! And you left without saying anything! What else is there to know?!" You ask.

"My dad showed up!" You freeze, staring at him. "And Luke hid it from me. I just wanted to get to know him." You try to process his words.

"What the hell does thst have to do with you leaving?"

"That's where I've been. I've been staying with my dad," he says. You take a step towards him, pushing him. He sighs.

"That's not a good enough excuse!" You say.

"I wasn't going to graduate anyways, Y/N!" He says.

"You think that makes it better?!" You push him again, this time he grabs your hands. " I get that Luke kicked you out, but that's your fault. You left Rory and you left me."

He presses his lips together. "How is she?" He asks.

"Over it. Peacefully asleep." He studies you.

"What about you?" He asks. You could feel the tears threatening your eyes. But you refused to let this boy make you cry. Not again. He wasn't worth it.

"What do you think?" You ask, a hint of bitterness in your voice. Maybe more than just a hint. He slid his hands up your arms. You shook your head, pulling away from him. He frowns at you, trying to grab your hand again. You took a couple more steps away from him.

"No. You can't just waltz back in here, acting like nothing happened. You hated this town, so what the hell are you doing back here?"

"My mom is here. She told me that Luke had my car," he says. You roll your eyes. "It's true!"

"I don't doubt it is. But you're not welcome here. By anyone. You should know that. Leaving like that just made everyone in this town hate you more than they already did," you tell him.

"And what about you?" He asks again. "Do you hate me, because that's all I really care about at this point."

"Yeah, you seemed to care so much when you left without a way to find you," you say. "And the answer is yes. Because you left when I- we- needed you most. I do hate you."

You could see the hurt on his face, he looked sad. However, you knew you were lying. You didn't know if it was possible to hate the boy infront of you. But you wished you did.

He seemed shocked to hear you say that, so you take the minute of his silence to leave the apartment. You quickly go downstairs, going up to your car.

You hear footsteps pounding after you. You try to open your car door, but a hand pushes it shut again. You turn to him, opening your mouth to yell at him again. But he beats you to it. Sort of. He doesn't say anything. But he does cut you off.

He had you pinned on your car with his arms, and he pressed his lips to yours. It felt desperate. Like he was trying to explain everything. You were in complete shock. You froze for a moment, accidentally kissing him back for a moment. Purely on instinct. His lips felt soft, and yet had an urgency behind them that was hard to explain. You wanted to kiss him back. In fact, every muscle in your body was dying to melt into him. But, instead, you pushed him away. You stare at him in shock.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He lets out a breath, clearly trying to find words. "Stay the hell away from me, Jess," you say. You quickly get in your car. As you start it, he puts his hand above your door, leaning on your car.

"I'm sorry. I just I need you to listen to me," he says. You glare at him through the window.

"Good luck with that," you say sarcastically. You quickly pull away from him, him jumping backwards, in order to not have his foot run over. You were breathless. Completely breathless. You knew you shouldn't have wanted to kiss him back as much as you did. He left you. He left your bestfriend. He was your bestfriend's ex! But every inch of you wanted to stop the car.

When you got back to the Gilmore house, you fell on the couch. Sleep took over your body quickly. The next morning you wake up to Rory, tapping your shoulder.

You groan, propping up on your elbow.

"Coffee?" She asks. You smile slightly and nod. You go into the kitchen with her. "My mom left for work. She'll be back later. She tells you. You nod.

"Great. I have a bag in my car with clothes. I'll be right back," you tell her. She nods, as she starts pouring the coffee. After changing in Rory's room, you walk back out and take a sip of the deliciously strong coffee.

"I know you left last night," she says. You look up at her, taking a sip. "Did you see him?" She asks. You nod. "What happened?"

Despite feeling absolutely shitty about the ending of the previous night's events, you explain it all to her. She nodded along as you told the story. When you tell the end she sighs. She shakes her head, taking a sip of her coffee.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know he was going to-" she cuts you off.

"I figured it was you," she says. You tense up, raising an eyebrow. She chuckles. "I told you, I knew he didn't like me as much. I knew he liked someone else. Jess... he was a good enough person not to act on it until we broke up."

"I told you-"

"I know you were just trying to protect me, Y/N. But I'm over it. And I knew you were the one he liked. And I know you like him, too." You shake your head immediately. She laughs. "It's okay, Y/N! I think he needed to leave. He couldn't be here. He... he needed to be somewhere else. Don't stay mad at him. You two are perfect for eachother. You always have been." You frown down at your coffee.

"But... I told him I hate him. And a part of me does," you say. She nods.

"That's okay. But let him make up for it," she says. You look up at her. Then she stands up, grabbing your hand. She grabs her jacket and you grab yours. "Let's go to Luke's."

When you get there Luke looks at the two of you and swallows. "Uh, hey," he says. You roll your eyes.

"We know, Luke," Rory says. "It's okay." He sighs, giving both of you a small smile.

"Good." He gives both of you coffee and you thank him.

"Do you know where he is?" Rory asks. You snap your eyes to hers.

"No," Luke says. You sigh. He looks at you. After a minute, he slips Rory a napkin and she smiles. She pays and grabs your hand again, pulling you away. When you walk into the bookstore you let out a breath.

"What are we doing here?"

She doesn't answer you and continues walking around, looking for something. Then she freezes when looking down one row of books. She pushes you, walking away. And then you see him. Sitting there. He looks up st you and sighs.

"I'll leave," he says, putting his hands up. He stands up, and you bite your lip.

"I lied last night," you say. He looks at you, confused. "I don't hate you. I wish I did, but I don't. Trust me, I have tried hating you. And I can't. I just... I was so mad at you for leaving the way you did that I didn't even want to try and understand your reasoning." He stands still, clearly hanging onto every word you were saying. "I guess what I mean is that I want to try to understand now."

A small smile appears on his lips. "Who pushed you?" He asks. You smile slightly.

"Rory. I told you, she's not mad at you," you say. He smiles more. But it too fades.

"I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have-"

"Don't be sorry for that. For other things, yes. But for that... no." He studies you for a second before smiling. From the smile, you could tell he wasn't sorry about it. And he was clearly very happy that you didn't want him to be.

[stellaluna33]

The Phone Call

A preview of what’s coming next in my Gilmore fic The Long And Winding Road, as a phone conversation between Jess and Luke. (You now know more than Rory will in the next chapter... No one knows this except Jess and Luke... and you.)

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luke."

"Jess.  How's it going?"

"Oh, you know.  Just fine.  You still in Nantucket?"

"Yeah.  Rory and Richie came with, as you probably know.  But we also have a, let's say, 'surprise' visitor up here today."

"Reeeeally.  Who's that?"

"Oh, none other than the great Logan Huntzberger himself, who finally deigned to see his son because he could pass it off as a polite visit to a family friend while he was 'in the area.'"

"Jeez.  He still hasn't told anyone, has he?"

"Apparently not.  Claims he's 'waiting for the right moment,' or some kinda bullsh**."

"Bastard."

"You're tellin' me.  But why'd you call?  You don't usually call this time of day."

"Yeah.  Well, I, uh… I got some news today."

"Oh yeah?  What's that?"

"So, I don't know if you remember me talking about that writer's residency program in Argentina last year?"

"Oh yeah, weren't you thinking about applying for that?"

"Yeah.  I did apply for it, actually.  There was a pretty long waiting list, though."

"Oh, I see.  So, d'you hear something about that?"

"Yeah.  Today, actually.  I, uh… I got in."

"Jess, that is fantastic news!  Good for you.  That's a really great opportunity for you."

"Yeah.  Yeah, it is.  I, uh… just… I'm not sure if I wanna take it."

"What?!!  Jess, you can't be serious!  You've been wanting to do something like this for God knows how long!  And now you've got this opportunity and you're just going to let it pass you by?"

"I don't know, it's just… I don't know if it's a good time for me to be leaving the country right now."

"What, you got something goin' on at work?"

"No...  No, it's not that, it's…  I don't know."

"Well?  What is it?  What's stopping you?"

"I just… part of me thinks that I should be here, right now.  In case… you know, in case a... friend might need me."

"In case a friend might-  Oh jeez. Jess.  Tell me you're not talking about Rory."

Jess took a deep breath and then exhaled heavily through his nose.

"Are you serious?!  Jess!  You told me you were over that!  Long over, if I remember it correctly."

"Yeah, well, I was over it!  At least, I thought I was…"

"Oh, Jess."

"I know!  I know.  I'm pathetic.  I swore I would never end up like you, and yet here I am."

"Hey!  Things didn't turn out so bad for me in the end, you know."

"I know.  You're right.  I'm worse.  I already had my chance with Rory, and I screwed it up so badly that she wishes our entire relationship had never happened."

"Jess, you were just a kid. I'm sure that's not true."

"Oh no?  Well, sorry to disappoint you, but that's exactly the way she remembers it."

"Ah jeez.  She put that in that book she's writing?"

"Yup."

"And you've been reading over it, right?"

"Yup."

"Well, sh**.  I'm sorry, Jess."

"Yeah, well, it is what it is, and it's my own damned fault, so I don't really have the right to be put out about it."

"Well, ok, but… that being the case, don't you think it's time to let this go?"

"Past time.  But that's the worst part… I've tried.  G-d, I've tried.  And I thought I was mostly ok with it, you know?  There's been occasional relapses of… regret or… moments when I've wished things could've turned out differently, but… I haven't been hoping for anything.  I've been trying to move on.  I've had relationships."

"You only went on, like, two dates with that last girl, what was her name?"

"Sylvia?"

"Yes, Sylvia!  But two dates, Jess!  You give up that quickly and you call that trying?"

"That's what I'm getting to, though.  This year has been… different.  It wasn't so bad when I only saw her for a few minutes every couple years or so, but between the wedding and the book and everything that's been going on with her lately, Rory and I have been talking all the time, and I just… I still like her more than any other woman I've ever met, Luke.  And I told myself that she hasn't wanted me for over a decade now.  She made her feelings abundantly clear, and I have offered myself up like an idiot over and over and over again, just on the off chance that she might have changed her mind, and she has turned me down every single time.  I mean, how many times does she need to say it before I get a clue?  'No means no,' right?  I'm done.  I'm not doing that again.  So, I guess we're friends now.  She really likes me as a friend, she says, so I'll be her friend and be grateful I get to spend time with her at all.  And I'm doing my best to be ok with that.  So I finally asked Sylvia out, and it was nice.  She's beautiful and interesting, and maybe it coulda gone somewhere… but then you had to go and tell Rory about it.  And she got weird, man.  She called me up, and she was comparing me to Mr. Darcy, and-"

"Am I supposed to know who the hell that is?"

"Are you serious?  You've lived with Lorelai for, what, ten years now, and she hasn't tied you down and made you watch all six f***ing hours of that BBC monstrosity?  Pride and Prejudice?  Jane Austen?  Lorelai going on and on about Colin Firth emerging from a lake in a wet shirt and breeches?  Ring any bells?"

"Ah, maybe.  I think I fell asleep about five minutes in."

"Of course you did.  Well, all you need to know is that he's the romantic hero of the story, but he's a complete ass for like, two thirds of the book, which is obviously where the resemblance lies.  So she's on a roll with that, and hey, I deserve it, but then she throws in the fact that he changes and fixes everything and the heroine can't help falling in love with him in the end.  And what the hell am I supposed to do with that?  Because last I knew, we were talking about me, and that would imply that… I don't know.  All I know is that she got all flustered and started grilling me about my date with Sylvia, that you told her about, thanks so much, and then she starts going on about how she hopes I'll be very happy and how I deserve to be happy and I deserve to be with 'someone who has her life together.'  And then she started crying and frickin' hung up on me!"

"Huh."

"Yeah!  So, that whole thing kinda threw me, and all of a sudden, I'm not so sure where I stand anymore.  I mean, am I crazy?  Is that a normal reaction to hearing that a friend is seeing someone?"

"I don't know, Jess.  It's weird, I'll give you that… but who knows, with pregnant women…"

"Well, yeah, there's that, too… But I went out with Sylvia again, because I was trying, you know?  I owed it to myself and to her to give it an honest shot, but… I couldn't… I couldn't stop thinking about that phone call, Luke.  I couldn't stop thinking about her.  Because what if this was finally, finally a chance after all these years, and could I really just let that slip away?  Could I start a relationship with someone else, knowing that I might be throwing away a shot with Rory?  And I've been saying that there wasn't any chemistry with Sylvia and me, but the truth is, I know that's all on me.  It was awkward because of me, because I was distracted and I was distant and I wasn't sure I wanted to be there.  And Sylvia deserves better than that.  It was better to end it before anybody got hurt."

"Ah, jeez, Jess."

"It's true.  I'll go ahead and say it:  I sabotaged my own attempt at having a happy relationship because I'm still hung up on my highschool girlfriend.  And there it is.  I'm such a pathetic loser."

"You're not a loser, Jess.  You've come a long way.  But she's got a baby now."

"I know that.  And even if she has changed her mind about me, the timing is so bad...  She needs me to be a friend she can depend on right now.  The last thing she needs is the stress of fending off yet more unwanted advances from her crazy ex-boyfriend who can't take no for an answer.  And I can't go there again, I just can't.  So, I'm stuck in this no-man's-land."

"So how is all this stopping you from going to Argentina?  Maybe a few months away from all this would be good for you."

"Maybe… maybe.  But I just… I broke her trust before by leaving.  I made a lot of mistakes, but that?  That was the one she couldn't forgive me for.  And I want to be there for her, I want her to know that she can count on me now, that if she needs me, I am there.  But I can't do that if I'm halfway across the world.  I'd be of no more use to her than Logan is, and I… God help me, I want her to think of me as someone who can give her something that he can't.  And if I go, I can't do that.  And I have this feeling that if I go now, that'll be it for her.  The end.  Three strikes, I'm out.  For good this time."

"Were you planning on leaving without telling her?"

"Well, no, of course I wasn't..."

"'Cause I think that was a big part of the problem last time…"

"Yeah.  I get that.  But what if she doesn't see it that way?"

"Jess, all I can say is maybe you should talk to Rory about it.  See how she feels about it."

"I guess I'll have to."

"For my part, I think you should go.  And she won't be alone, Jess.  She's got Lorelai, and me, and Lane..."

"You're right.  Who'm I kidding?  She doesn't need me anyway."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"Yeah, well, it's probably true anyway.  But it's good to know that she's got you looking out for her.  I'd need you to promise me that, if I'm gonna even consider this."

"You got it."

"Well… thanks for listening.  I guess I'd better go.  I'm gonna call Rory, like you said."

"I think that'd be a good idea."

"Yeah.  Well, talk to you later, Uncle Luke."

"Later, kid.  You… you take care of yourself, alright?"

"I always do.  But thanks."

Thank you for reading. Please, PLEASE share any comments or ask any questions you’re wondering about!  I crave your opinion. What do you think of this?  My muse is in desperate need of encouragement so I can finish writing Chapter 9 sooner rather than later!

#Gilmore Girls #Fanfiction #Literati #seriously please talk to me #The Long and Winding Road #this is an exclusive! #It won't be in the next chapter #and I haven't posted this anywhere else! #@tinygothgoblindaydreaming #@lily-of-the-vallies #@blueforest7

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: God Bless America

Kermit and Friends was all over the news cycle last week.

From Elisa Jordana being interviewed in US Weekly Magazine, to Wendy Williams addressing Elisa and Andy Dick on her show, to even Fox News covering the story.... everyone wanted to discuss the bombshell Elisa dropped last week on Kermit and Friends regarding Andy Dick's most recent arrest.

All of this began on Tuesday evening. Elisa's birthday was on Wednesday and she remained relatively quiet on her social media and in the Kermit and Friends Discord. So what happened at her birthday party?

Andy forgot about Elisa's birthday. No shocker there. Still, Elisa managed to get Andy on the phone and paid to have a car go pick him up. To Andy’s credit, he got in the car. Unfortunately, that’s the only credit he will receive from this point forward.

When Andy arrived, the first thing Elisa did was introduce him to her lovely mother. Instead of small talking and exchanging pleasantries, Andy immediately asked Elisa’s mom if she had any pills she could give him. Yikes!

Andy would only stay at the party for a short while. He showed more attention to Lisa Vanderpump than he did to Elisa, and then he would run off to go hang out with the guy who allegedly broke his ankle, Lucas.

So Andy pretty much ruined Elisa’s birthday. Does he care? Of course not. Andy wouldn’t talk to Elisa again until Saturday night when he called Elisa to ask her to pay for his hotel bill. After Elisa declined, Andy hung up on her and blocked Elisa on Instagram. This is really sad, pathetic behavior.

Elisa is claiming she’s officially done with Andy. The thing is, Elisa has one of the most forgiving souls on the planet. All Andy would have to do is have one nice conversation with Elisa and she’ll most likely then treat him (and his friends) to dinner. Who knows if Andy will even do that though. I personally hope not, and if he does... maybe Elisa will keep her foot down this time and refuse to allow Andy to keep hurting her like this.

I’ve been friends with Elisa since 2015. I could do a run down right now of the guys Elisa has dated since I’ve been blessed to know her, and I wouldn’t have anything good to say about any of them except maybe Gonzo, which honestly was just a fling.

Elisa deserves better than this. I desperately hope throughout our friendship that I set some kind of precedent to show Elisa how she should be treated by anyone who claims to love her. If I can get one thing out of my efforts these last 5 years, it’s that. It’s fine that Elisa doesn’t love me back... but it’s my main wish that she someday understands how I treat her is how the real man in her life should treat her. And hopefully that guy has many other amazing qualities to offer too, because Elisa deserves that as well if she’s going to give her heart to someone.

For all my bickering and griping about the men in Elisa’s life this last decade, we met a lovely young woman yesterday by the name of Mel who’s had it even worse than Elisa!

Mel is Jesse G-Rider’s ex-girlfriend. She was a part of the infamous trap house gang right before Elisa became emerged in it. Mel’s relationship with Jesse was extremely abusive, to say the least. There were cases of petty jealousy, beatings, drugs... you name it, it most likely happened.

Jesse called in highly upset with Elisa for having Mel on the show. Jesse claims he has a restraining order against Mel despite the fact that Mel moved all the way to Detroit, Michigan to escape Jesse.

Jesse then threatened Elisa with legal action, claiming it’s illegal to help a person contact another person who has a restraining order against them. Newsflash to Jesse: first of all, that’s not illegal, dumb dumb. Secondly, YOU called into the show. Elisa didn’t call you with Mel on the line. So even if in some ass backwards World where you could press charges against Elisa, they would be dropped immediately because JESSE initiated the contact by his own free will, and it’s all on recorded video.

Anyway, Mel was fantastic on the show. She had cute little elf ears, top notch internet and audio, a nice gaming chair... Elisa was impressed by all of this, as I was I. Mel looked like a professional streamer and she was a good storyteller that was also very vulnerable and honest. She’s everything Elisa looks for in a Kermit and Friends star. Hopefully Mel will become a regular in our community.

During Mel’s interview, Sharmin Smith went in head first about the horrors of abuse and what America needs to do to help women like Mel out. As a survivor of abuse, Sharmin has some strong feelings on the matter and she was not shy to share them. Even though her Presidential bid for 2020 was unsuccessful, I hear by declare Sharmin Smith President of Kermit and Friends. In my book, that’s why better than being President of the United States of America!

We love America on Kermit and Friends though. Yesterday was July the 4th and Elisa invited Tony Alexander on to discuss his career in the American military and what he’s heroically done to help fellow veterans who have had a rough time adjusting to normal life once they returned home from the war. Tony was a class act through and through, and it was great to see Kermit make a new friend like him on Independence Day.

Another US veteran joined the show, Kermit’s old pal Chris Christine. She said a lovely prayer and then randomly flip opened the Bible so that God could choose a special passage to share with all of Kermit’s beautiful friends. She landed on 1 Kings 6, which is about Solomon building a temple of the Lord, much like Elisa has built the Kermitarian Church!

Claire from New Jersey called at the beginning of the show to ask Elisa her thoughts on Wendy Williams’ segment about Elisa and Andy. Wendy wasn’t very kind - she made light of Andy’s addiction despite being an addict herself, she told a very distasteful joke about Bill Cosby getting hired before Andy ever would, she mispronounced Elisa’s name on purpose, and she claimed that Elisa was trying to use Andy for success. So funny how the ignorant morons who say stuff like that don’t realize it’s been Andy using Elisa this entire time... it’s honestly sexism. Wendy as a woman herself should know better, but I guess her IQ just isn’t at a place where she could ever grasp that.

Sigmond returned to Kermit and Friends this week. Elisa kindly invited Sigmond to her birthday party on Wednesday and by all accounts, he was a superb guest. He even bought Elisa a present! Yep, Sigmond Twayne's Mental Cookbook was his gift and Elisa seemed to love it. This led to Gonzo calling in to ask why the book is so cheap on Amazon. Sigmond, remembering that it was Gonzo who called him a serial killer last week, said Gonzo is a liar and that the book cost $37 on Amazon. Well, Gonzo was actually being truthful because at the time of this blog entry, the book is on sale for just $8.76 from it’s listed price of $37.00. Do NOT miss out on this AMAZING deal and buy your copy today by clicking here! 

Of course, Kermit and Friends isn’t Kermit and Friends without some spectacular musical performances. Boy, were we blessed with some good ones for the 4th of July. Elisa’s dad Craig returned to the show to beautifully perform a patriotic song from the 1700′s in which I sadly can’t find the title of. Sigmond’s partner Wappy performed an incredible original song and covered Pool Shark by Sublime. Elisa would also play one of Sugar’s awesome music videos for everyone to enjoy. Good stuff all around from Kermit’s unbelievably talented friends.

All in all, it was a very eventual Kermit and Friends, one absolutely fitting for Independence Day. The future seems more uncertain than ever, but as long as Kermit has all her friends to enjoy, everything will be A-okay. Can’t wait to see what next week’s show will bring :)

[littlemessyjessi]

“Chasing Jessi”:  A Sirius Black Story: Plus Size OC: Chapter 8: “True Happiness”

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Sirius Black Imagine Turned Story

Re-Written and Edit of an old story of mine I had on Mibba that deserved some more love and attention, lol.

Sirius Black x Jess Scamander (OC, OFC, PLUS SIZE OC, PLUS SIZE OFC)

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The day was November the second. The time was precisely 11:53 p.m. Just a few more minutes, the day would change over and it would be the birthday of none other than Sirius Black. Who, coincidently, lay no further than three feet from the current all out war raging in James Potter's bed. War you ask? What's the matter, you ask? Jess happened. At ten til twelve, Jess had snuck into the boys dormitory with full intentions of being the first to tell her boyfriend happy birthday. However, her plans were foiled when she saw JAMES sitting up in his own bunk. Just waiting... "No." he had said to her when she entered. "I've been the one to do this for the past six years. It's my right." "I'm his girlfriend." she had whispered. "I'm his best MATE." he had countered. "Well, I'm prettier!" she argued quietly. "Says who?" he challenged her in a harsh whisper. Her full lip had curled into a snarl before she shoved him into his bed. She jumped on top of him before she promptly tried to suffocate him with his own pillow. Eventually....their 'quiet' scuffling awoke everyone in the room. "What are you two on about?" Remus groaned as he turned on the light. "What now?" came Sirius' groggy sleep deprived voice as he pulled back the curtain of his bunk to see his girlfriend straddling his best mate in his bunk. He lifted a dark brow. "Not exactly the way I'd like to start out my birthday, but ok. I'll give you a chance to explain before I blow my top." he said trying to wipe the sleep from his eye. "Hap-" James started but Jess clapped her hand over his mouth. "Happy Birth-" she got out before James did the same and the wrestling began again. Eventually she bit him and they went tumbling off the bed and she kept trying to choke him. "Guys." Sirius said tiredly. "You stupid black haired, four eyed, quidditch playing little -" she said hitting him with each insult. "Guys." Sirius repeated rubbing his eyes. "Oi!" he defended and tried to shove her off. "Nothing about me is little!" "Guys." he said again. "That's not what I'm going to tell, Lilypad..." she grinned evilly as she socked him in the arm. "You wouldn't-" "Hey!" Sirius snapped. "Happy Birthday to me! There, problem solved. Now, neither of you were the first." "Awwww." Jess and James said in unison. Sirius rolled his dark grey eyes at the both of them. "It's midnight. Please just go to bed." he said, so tired with the both of them. Clearly, he wasn't THAT much of a morning person. And it was only further proven when he laid back down and ripped the curtains shut around him. Jess eventually got off James and he got back in his bunk. The two of them glared at each other momentarily before Remus turned the lights out again and she turned to leave. However, before she did, Sirius felt something soft press against his cheek and a sweet little, "I love you. Happy Birthday." was whispered in his ear. Soon followed by the undeniable sock in James' arm judging by his groan and a faint, "Ha!" And then she was gone. Sirius couldn't help the smile on his lips as he drifted back off to sleep. As crazy as they all were....he was so lucky to have them all in his life. Several hours later, the four Marauders were heading down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. James' felt like he had been justified since he'd actually given Sirius his first present on his actual birthday. However, when he saw that crazy girl sitting at the table waiting on them....he felt a little nervous. She had Lily on one side, Alice on the other and a pleasant smile on her face. She was quietly eating her pancakes. Now, those that knew her knew that there was very little that she actually did quiet....and pancakes and syrup were not one of them. Pancakes were an event. Pancakes were a celebration. Pancakes were, to Jess, life. So, to see her so composed....well it made the Quidditch captain a bit uneasy. But as they approached, she leapt from her seat and fled the Great Hall. At first, no one really paid that much attention....because sporadic events such as that were common place with a girl like Jess Scamander. However, as the day progress and the hours passed...Sirius felt a bit down. Most of his birthday had passed now and he'd barely seen her. He didn't expect her to dote on him but....he cared for her deeply....and he'd thought that maybe they'd spend time together on his birthday. He knew the deal with Jess. Sure, he knew she was wild and that she loved to explore...and that a great deal of her time she spent covered in mud, searching for some odd little creature. He supposed he just missed her was all. Their relationship was rather fresh after all. Officially, only a few days in but he'd felt like it was much longer...mostly because he'd spent so much time pining after her. However, apparently their short lived honeymoon phase was shorter than normal. Needless to say....he was moping around the castle. He ACTUALLY went the the library and when he got there he knew something was wrong with him. Since when did Sirius Black actually go the library...out of boredom?! He was in desperate need of some firewhiskey and he knew just the person to get it for him. Off he went in search of a few Ravenclaws he knew he buy some off of. However, at each source he was turned down. The more he tried to cheer himself up....the further down he got. People kept avoiding him. James had already blown him off for a quick game of Quidditch. Remus had to study...which wasn't all that unusual to be honest. Peter claimed he had already made plans with someone else.  Eventually he found himself in front of the entrance to the kitchens. With a sigh, he tickled the pear and let himself in for a snack. However, upon arrival he was a little shocked to find the house elves in full motion, preparing as if dinner was near. Which they most certainly were not since it had been a few hours ago. As he looked around he noticed how much of his own favorite food littered the space before mysteriously disappearing. "Hello, Master Black." came the voice of a tiny elf he knew to be named Posey. "May I help you?" "Er, yeah. Where's all this food going?" he questioned carefully. She shook her head, "I mustn't tell anyone that, Sir. Terribly sorry bout that. Would you like a snacker or something?" His curiosity having peaked he waved her off and he left the kitchens in search of where that food had mysteriously disappeared to. Eventually, having searched corridor after corridor, he bumped into Alice. "Oh, hello, Sirius. Sorry." she smiled apologetically. "No problem." he said softly. Alice tilted her head, "What's wrong, Black?" "Nothing." he faked a smile. Alice gave him a rather pointed look. Sirius sighed. "It's just....I feel like everyone's been avoiding me today. I mean, I don't expect anything special or anything for my birthday but it just seems like- oh, bloody hell, this is ridiculous." Alice smiled, "It's not ridiculous, Sirius. I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason." He just nodded...not entirely believing her attempts to make him feel better. "Well, if you'd like I'm looking for this so called Room of Requirement. You can tag along if you'd like and we can see if we can find it." she offered. "Oh, I know where that is." he said with a shrug. "Come on. I'll show you." Alice smirked as the boy turned and walked in the other direction before looking back at her. "Coming?" he asked with raised brows. "Yes." she smiled and fell in step with him. Alice played dumb and let him lead her to it before he turned to her. "It's pretty simple." he said nodding his head to the blank wall in front of them. "You just have to visualize what you want and then just walk back and forth three times. To put it plain- if you should need a toilet." he said and demonstrated before a door popped up and revealed a toilet.   "Cool." Alice smiled. "Try it." he said. Alice smirked and visualized what she wanted before another door appeared. Sirius stepped up and opened the door to what appeared to be a dark room. He peered inside and yelped when she shoved him in. "Oi! Alice, what the bloody-" "Surprise!" His gray eyes were as wide as saucers as wands lit the room and many smiling faces greeted him. Complete with party streamers, balloons and confetti. Good music, all his favorite foods, a table full of gifts and plenty of room to dance. His face was priceless as he stared around the room. A surprise party....for him? His eyes searched the faces of his friends before they landed on one in particular. Jess stood there in a rainbow stripped dress and a grin a mile wide. Unbeknownst to her, James, Peter and Remus were pointing at her behind her back. Sirius strode right to her, pulled her into his arms and planting her with a massive kiss. Eventually they separated for air and she gasped. "Well, Merlin's Beard, Snookums!" she giggled. "If I knew a little party would produce that reaction I'd have told you this morning!" He pressed his forehead against hers, "I fucking love you." Her eyes sparkled as she grinned at him, "I love you too. Now, let's party! There's cake to be had!" The evening progressed with ease and happiness. A lovely meal, the opening of presents and plenty of time to dance. It was a blast...unforgettable. As the people began to disperse, Sirius pulled Jess out onto the dance floor. He was no Sinatra but one perk of his upbringing required him to know a handful of ballroom dances. Although, a basic slow danced worked just fine as he held her close to him. Sirius stared at Jess with his steely dark grey eyes. "You're staring me, Sirius." she pointed out with a smile. "You're beautiful." he said honestly. She smiled, "Thank you." "Thank you. For all of this, Jess. Really it's the best present I've ever received." he told her. "Well, you're welcome but this isn't your present." she said. "It's not?" he questioned. She shook her head with a smile. "Follow me." she said taking his hand. "And also, I plan to rub what you just said in James' face later...so just prepared for him to mope." Sirius snorted and tossed his arm around her shoulder so he could kiss her temple. She lead him out of the castle....pulling some rather sneaky maneuvers to get past curfew, mind you. However, eventually they made it to Hagrid's empty hut. Only vacant because the half giant was currently still in the room of requirement....presumably drinking himself silly. "What are we doing at Hagrid's?" he asked curiously as she wove through the pumpkin patch toward something covered in a large tarp. She turned around and smiled, "Oh, so she still needs some work and I'm thinking a fair bit of magic might really make her extra special. But I'm telling you, she's a real diamond in the rough, Siri." Sirius couldn't help the smile tugging at his lips, "Jess, what are you on about?" She ripped the tarp off to reveal a beautiful motorcycle. Shock covered his features as he made his way over and took it all in. "Like I said, she needs a little love but I've done a lot of work on herself myself so she rides pretty smooth. She's just not as easy on the eyes." Jess rambled. "Although, I think I've worked out a fair few spells that will really make a -" Sirius cut her off but cradling her face and giving her another passionate kiss. It damn near flushed the air from her lungs. "Why did you do this?" he asked her. He just couldn't understand why and how he'd been so fortunate to have her. "Because I love you." she said softly. "And I thought it would be something you'd like. Do you like it?" "I love it." he said. "Almost as much as you. Almost." She patted the seat of the bike affectionately with a smirk. "You know." she grinned. "I'm betting I could place a silencer on it for now....if you wanted to go for a late night ride...." "I don't know how to drive it." he admitted. "I do." she grinned. "I can teach you. It's pretty easy and not that much different than a broom. Get on." She hopped on first and he slid around behind her. "Ok just reach around me and we'll do it together." she said looking at him over her shoulder but he was already staring at her. She bashfully looked away as she cast the charm on the bike and cranked it up. It roared to life beneath them and she popped a wheelie...just to mess with him. However, the laughter that came from him made her soul shine. He was happy....truly happy and that was all she had ever wanted.

Chapter Seven

Chapter Nine

Hello, loves! How do we feel about this chappie?  Sirius’ surprise party and his bike! Squee!!!!! The boy is in love!!!!!!!  

I’d love to what you think! Please feel free to hit up the ask box, blast the comment section or reblog with your thoughts and feelings! Next chappie coming soon!

All my love darlings!

Kenny

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Love, Kenny

#sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x ps #ps #psoc #psofc #sirius black x plus size #plus size #plus size oc #plus size ofc #sirius black x jess scamander #sirius black x jessi scamander #siri x jess #chasing jessi #chasing jessi sirius black story #chasing jessi story #marauders #marauder era #marauder era sirius black #young sirius black

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Celebrate Valentine’s day with the Wells

Author note : I know this wasn’t on my list but I couldn’t stop thinking about that so here we go hope you’re going to enjoy it ! 

It may have been a lot longer for Harry my apologize  : I am going to include Eowells too cause why not ? 

I hope HR wasn’t too OOC it took me time to write his part cause I haven’t seen season 3 since a long time ago

i do not own those gifs so credit to owners 

Warning : slight mention of NSFW / I tried to be gender neutral

Eobard Thawne as Harrison Wells

At the very beginning of the week he didn’t plan to celebrate Valentin’s day. Its not like he doesn’t love his kitten 

Buuuut they weren’t a part of his plan and yet he let them be a part go his life. However they couldn’t stop him from his plan : especially when he was so close to go home 

Yet let’s say some people (Cisco) decided to decorate the whole lab with a lot a of Heart a cute cupidon and also some sweets like chocolat 

It wasn’t wrong to say the whole mood was oriented about Valentin’s day 

So do you 

You weren’t a huge / desperate romantic like some membre of the team flash (we’re talking about you Barry & Cisco) but it was good to say you were pretty excited. 

It will be your first Valentin’s day with Harrison Wells your amazing boyfriend. Since all the things who happen to him you though he deserves some good quality time 

And of course being the good calculator he was Eobard knows about that. The way you were so excited and so focus to prepare the most precious day for him has definitely melt his heart 

He just couldn’t not celebrate that with you. 

Spoil is the key word 

He gave you so many gifts and compliments : Eobard has dedicated the whole day to you : literally 

it all started with a cute breakfast a lot of cuddle before going to work 

Blow a wink time to time 

Sharing a coffee 

A lot of holding hand and knuckle’s kiss when no one was watching

You thought Barry could be gross with his PDA ? Think about it, It’s like both of you were the only one on earth 

You definitely have a big belly burger together (he even share his fry with you)

He bought you a gorgeous ring which he gave you with a red rose 

A lot flirting this day more than usual 

And then the night begin

You were so nervous about the meal but you work so hard (he saw you) you wanted everything to be perfect for him

Classical music candle a dress (he will never the way that dress was good on you). The dinner was nothing but sweet like the day

« It’s really delicious Y/N I do not deserve you » 

« Thank you but it’s not a big deal » 

« Don’t Y/N it was »

After a good day fighting meta you definitely deserve a cute night together 

Like I said the day was dedicated to you : so be ready for a night of love about you 

WORSHIP/100 

You made sweet love this night 

And at the end of the night he gave you the most precious gift 

3 words 

« I love you Y/N » 

He means it 

You will probably question his sincerity in the futur 

But he was 

Earth 2 Harrisson grumpy wells 

Not all people know that : But Harry is actually a romantic dude 

Of course he claimed he wasn’t « I am not a teenager anymore Ramon » 

But we know better 

Despite his 7 phd he couldn’t organise the day. Not that he sucks about organization quite contrary 

But all he wants was to make the better Valentin’s day you never have,  cause deep down he was still selfconcious about your relationship 

I mean you were so incredible gorgeous … 

And he was him grumpy and a DAD 

Not that you mind 

But still he couldn’t erase the feeling on his heart : he doesn’t deserve you 

So during the whole week before the big day he was tensed. Like more than usual : Let’s say he was grumpy x 10000 

He took two days to Cisco to realize what’s going on (cause he was sick to work and being hurted by a marker every time). Since he knows his friends he decided to confront him directly 

First Harry denies everything « I am angry because you weren’t work harder enough » « I’ve the feeling it’s something about th 14th February » « I don’t know what you’re talking about Ramon »

After a argument or two about how stubborn he can be Harry confess : Yes the reason he was so tensed and so grumpy was you he wanted everything to be perfect and he may stress him too much. Cisco listen all the thing and give him a simple advice “be yourself” which Harry thought was ridiculous what does that even mean ?

And then you came by his side knowing by team flash your boyfriend was upset about something. Which definitely concern you. 

when he saw you coming for him to cheer him up that he understands what Cisco wanted to mean 

So your day was pretty simple and yet unforgettable 

First when you wake up Harry was still by your side to cuddle with you (while other time he prepares himself to go working). You guys have breakfast on the bed close to each other talking about everything 

You take a hot shower together (and I am not talking about the temperature of the water) 

Both of you go to work and then have a big belly burger together 

Then the night begin 

Before leaving your job you saw a text on your phone : « let’s celebrate properly go to see the box in your bedroom ». Curiosity help you to go faster on your home. You saw a gorgeous velvet dress with a necklace that look expansive 

Then you got another text « I’ll take you at 7pm ». Which leave you one hour to make yourself pretty for this mysterious night 

And as planned Harry was at your home at 7pm with a particular thing on his hand and his gorgeous suit with white shirt : it was a vibe’s tool to go to his earth. 

In fact he planned to spend the whole night with you on his earth. Your date was really cute : first he took you to a very famous restaurant on his earth not without showing you in compliment then you have walked on a parc which was illuminated by the light of the stars. 

Both of you have nothing but love for each other 

When you go home the celebration begin : Since he wasn’t good with his words especially when it was about feeling he decided to show you how much you mean to him in bed 

You were never that satisfied before 

Sure Harry was an amazing lover 

But this night was different it was like he was saying all of his love by every touch every kiss every caress was a way to say «  I love you » 

He loves you like he thought he couldn’t anymore 

After this passionate night you talk about the day especially how sweet he was and how you didn’t deserve his kindness to you 

« Don’t be silly Y/N you’re my everything … *blush* I-I mean with Jesse too » 

He may wasn’t confortable with showing his feeling but when he does it worths it `

HR Wells 

Unlike Harrison and Harry it’s been a whole month Since HR knows how to spend the day with you 

He has already bought your gift planned the meal etc

He just couldn’t wait but to be at 14th 

With Cisco and other membre of team flash he decided to make a full decoration for the big day. A lot of heart everywhere much to Harry’s chagrin (too childish according to him) 

You barely go into Star labs that you saw a big bouquet of rose on your desk with a lovely note « to my lovely Y/N the person I couldn’t live without » 

But that was just foreplay 

HR goes as fast as he could to Jitters to create your own (favorite drink) and then go back to star lab with 

« Oooh HR this is way to sweet how did you call it ? » « Sweet Y/n » 

Your heart couldn’t melt more at this poin. But that’s wasn’t enough. After working on a huge physics problem for Harry you felt two heavy and yet fluffy arm on your back : it was a big teddy bear wearing the same hat as HR « I thought he could be there with you when I am working with team flash like a number 2 » « no one can remplace you HR but thanks he is pretty”

But gift wasn’t enough to express all the love he has for you so HR cook you a delicious date meal for your lunch time. Which was incredible « I didn’t even know you can cook » « I am full of surprise *wink* » 

Basically you spend the whole day cuddle and flirting. It was a way too PDA even for Barry/Iris so you were temporarily exclude from work 

It gave you a lot of time if you know what I mean 

Beside the whole passion time 

It gave a lot of time to make a lot of activity 

Going to the carousel together taking a lot of photo 

Eat a ton of toffee apple 

Watch a romantic movie at theatre 

Go shopping (please he would do anything to admire you by any angle while wearing dress or even better lingerie) 

Then you go on an intimate restaurant you never eat before

It was both chil intimate and quite romantic : lot of color led some velvet chair 

By the end you go home with a lot of star on your eyes because of this sweet day with your boyfriend 

«  I love you HR » 

« I love you too Y/N »

Sherloque 

So apparently French people is seen as romantic 

Not sure if he could be described as romantic 

Let’s say he has is own version of romanticism 

He already prove with his ex wife that he could be a mess when it was about showing emotion by action 

But for you he decided it won’t be the same 

« Cisco mon ami, could you help me with the way you express l’amour here? » « Wait what ? Are you asking me advice about seduction » « yeah you still crying about your breakup  nevermind » « ok fair Sherlock » « SherloQUE » « Yeah yeah nevermind how about buy them something they like cooking meal just enjoying a chill day no Cicada no case to solve you know ? Just FOCUS on her ? » 

So did he 

While you were busy chatting with other girl he took advantage of it and go to central city for some shopping 

Bought you everything that remind him you : black lace lingerie (not sure if it was for his pleasure or yours), camellia, book that you once said want to read , chocolat, and some toys for the night 

He made a gorgeous box with he put on your bed and then proceed to text you « Let’s celebrate Valentin’s day together xoxo SherloQUE » 

You got the text while taking to Cisco even though he couldn’t see your phone he just give you the « go have fun girl » smile 

When you back to your home you saw a lot of rose petal on your stairs to what you believe was your bedroom 

So you play the game and follow those petals

You weren’t ready for this 

When you went to your bedroom you were hit by the glorious picture of your boyfriend : Sherloque was laying on your bed shirtless with nothing but his pant on there were some candle and your Buch of camellia  

You were taken aback by this picture : the way he looks so hot and yet so adorable 

All you thought was to take your cloth and jump to him. But he stopped you 

« Go see the bathroom mon amour »

Which you did without a second thought 

You found the sexy lingerie he bought earlier and some oil 

When you went back to the bedroom with nothing but the underwear and the oil it was Sherloque’s turn to be breathtaking by your glorious figure 

« Tu es magnifique » 

You were sure a blush mess at this point but nevermind 

You joined Sherloque for the most intimate night you both share 

After literally broke the bed 

Sherloque dedicated the day to you as Cisco say to him he has to focus on you and only you which he did. And it was gladly appreciate 

You know your boyfriend loves you but sometimes he got super excited by a case he may forgot to give you attention 

So when he told you he’ll spend the whole night chilling with you 

You knew he was the one 

You decided to watch a lot of movie and série about murder and investigation just to see your boyfriend get super excited and focus about it. Plus he tends to cuddle you a lot when you watch movie together 

You read a lot of book and initiative him to Harry Potter and some video games 

By the end of the Day sherloque wanted to surprise you by cooking the meal. Despite the whole smoking it was good 

Before going to bed for some sleep he took your hand and look at you right in your eyes

« Y/N I know sometimes I may have been too focus on the case mais I want you to know that je t’aime I mean I love you like a lot I-I thought I will always be miserable in love but you prove me I was wrong and for once it felt good » 

Here the translation for Sherloque : 

Mon ami : my friends 

L’amour : love 

Mon amour : my love

Tu es magnifique : you are gorgeous or You are breathtaking 

Je t’aime : I love you

I hope you have a beautiful day with your significant other or on your own enjoying your life ! It’s actually 11 pm for me I am super tired but wanted to writing it down and publish it so I hope you enjoy it too ! ♡ 

#the flash tv #the flash #harrison wells #E2 Harrison Wells #harrison wells x reader #harrison wells headcanon #sherloque wells #hr wells #valentin's day #sherloque wells x reader #hr wells x reader #E2 Harrison Wells x reader #Harry Wells x reader #Sherloque wells headcanon #HR wells headcanon #E2 Harrison Wells headcanon #tom cavanagh #doctor Harrison wells

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#17)

wow 4x06 was such a rollercoaster ride! Here we go:

Okay this Matt and Julie scene with the two of them making out in the car demonstrates so much about why I love them —tho I’ve surmised there will be more trouble ahead before they get their happy ending. Julie remembers she has something to tell him; they banter about her being pregnant with twin aliens; and then she tells him she’d been meaning to surprise him with tickets to a music festival in Austin before his dad’s untimely death but is totally cool with not going if he doesn’t want to??? It’s like ugh these two are so cute and care so deeply for each other my heart 🥰😭 “The chapter said that when your dad dies, you should probably most likely go to a music festival.”

the rest of my flailing under the cut:

Omgggg that assistant coach who annoyed me earlier in the season is back with a vengeance making wild claims they can’t hold up ON CAMERA I am Eric Taylor in this scene

Damn I’ve always loved Tim and Lyla — I mean especially in season 3 and OOOOOH boy this reunion banter and make out sesh into Tim’s trailer had me fanning myself! super predictable when Lyla comes to see Tim at his TRAILER on “midterm break” but no less hot!

Oh shit Matt and his grandma got $$$ from the military? He gotta go to art school now, bish!

“I don’t understand why people keep asking me why I’m okay, I’m fine.” Honestly my partner started getting annoyed by people in this way after his dad died too, grief is WEIRD and hard!

I love watching a teen show where just taking off for a music festival for two days with her long term boyfriend is the big scandal.

Omg Landry you’re still talking about Tyra to Jess?! Stop doing this, bro! Lol Jess slaps him in the face right after I typed that. nice.

Lyla and Tim’s chemistry is still off the charts!!!!

Yeeeeesh that Becky and Lyla introduction was pretty yikes

Lol I love the assistant coach being tight-lipped with the reporters now re: the lions’ “guaranteed win.” did Eric chew him out lol

More in This Is That Shit I Like: Matt and Julie eating sandwiches on their car roof on the side of the road talking about how romantic it is! “Good sandwiches I put my heart and soul into.” Cutiessss but also sings to Saracen: ~you must deal with your grief, babe~

Jess’s relationship with Vince intrigues me. And I love the introduction of Jess’s dad’s bbq joint as another watering hole in East Dillon.

Becky, yikes, don’t go off on Luke, he was being so cute and respectful! Also he is much more age-appropriate than Tim and you are letting out your anger about your unrequited Riggins feelings on poor Luke!!! (Forreal am I supposed to like Becky? I have mixed feelings.)

baby Grace yelling “uh oh” as Tami leaves an angry voicemail for Julie lol

“Show them your ring, Tim.” Wow okay never change Billy Riggins (jk you should def change a lot of things)

“I think she asked me what it was like being pregnant.” Yes go off, Mindy, and Billy, don’t speak for your wife!! Lol Lyla’s gonna ride the bull? I love that Lyla and Mindy eventually got along.

awww Tim is so still in love with her, my heart! “You missed me.” “You had no idea.” Swoon

Omg this Becky and Lyla convo broke my heart and was super uncomfortable. Becky legit said, “You’re so lucky. You’re super pretty.” What does one say to that? Silently walking away with an awkward smile is all I could manage too, Lyla 🙈🤦🏻‍♀️

Are the panthers making fun of East Dillon players for watching game tape in Sears? Their blatant classism is gross, Oh wow, assistant coach finally steps up, nice! also obligatory fuck JD McCoy

Back to back Matt and Julie dancing in their hotel room and Tim and Lyla bedroom scene “thanks for coming back” “you’re welcome” my heart (you know the angst is coming but I love the soft moments we get first)

Awww vince’s mom wants to come to the game clean 🥺

Tami being unable to think about anything but Julie and not knowing where she is makes so much sense!! (oldest child vibe is reallll here) but damn she’ll have a rough transition if Julie goes away to school

Oh no Tim thinks Lyla will stay in Dillon baby noooo

“I know but I hate it, i don’t want her to go.” Oh Tami it’s so hard 🥺

WOW did not realize Matt didn’t know Julie wasn’t allowed to go to Austin until Landry called. It’s really cute that the reason saracen’s upset is bc he wants Eric and Tami to like him and that was not cool of Julie, at least let him decide if he wants to break the rules too!

Aw fuck there it is, what’s been bubbling under the surface all season: “the responsibility of having to stay in Dillon.”

Omg Vince’s mom actually showed up!!!

Oh whaatttttt they’re all sad they lost? Don’t be, babes! This is a sick underdog moment, y’all put up a fight against a team you thought was gonna slaughter you!!!

Gotta love the early 2000s indie band appearance concert trope!!! although yikes this fight, Julie desperately screaming “I love you” as the band plays!

Tim with the forehead kiss for Lyla at the bus stop fuck me up

Ohhh the thematic “stay” theme for both Tim/Lyla and Matt/Julie is just so *chef’s kiss* this show is a gift

“It was nice just to get away with you.” “I love you Julie.” “I love you Mattie.” Feels like a goodbye, man. Like they both know it’s not working right now by circumstance even tho they love each other 😭🥺

Julie breaking the fuck down when she gets inside yepppp! “I think he’s leaving” ME TOO 😭

Tami immediately putting her head on Julie’s shoulder is that good mom shit even tho she’s def gonna ground Julie’s ass later lol

“Do you have a broken heart?” “Was she the love of your life?” Why does Becky talk like the cringey Riverdale writers. I hope people won’t throw things at me but Becky annoys me and her soulmate speech is a stretch

“Becky.” “Yeah?” “Shut up. Please.” Lmao same tim 😂

Oh shit Matt issss leaving damnnnn! Dramatic Trauma Rama! feat pretty footage of matt driving away

BRING ON THE ANGST

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #tim x lyla #matt x julie #friday night lights 4x06

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

Soulmate AU Part 5

A/N: I am tired and I want this story out here and the parts are going to get longer from now on I think. But finally we get to meet Noah! My son, baby boy! Also a little bitch. Tumblr makes me sad because it took away all my formatting so I’m going through and fixing that. Hope I don’t miss anything.

Summery: The boys and Elena find Noah and introduce him to Jester. 

Word Count: 4624

TW: violence, homophobia, manipulation, child abuse, bullying

Jester should have known not to tell Malcolm anything about her soulmate, because now he kept bringing him up, trying to get every detail he could so he could use them against her. She was tight-lipped about it all, but Jesse wasn’t and told Malcolm everything he knew, which thankfully was very little. Jesse hadn’t even found out from Jester that her soulmate stopped talking to her, she used to avoid the topic with him as much as possible. However now that had changed it shouldn’t be a surprise that they were using it against her. She hadn’t thought it would bother her much, but thinking about her soulmate so much opened a bag of worms she had avoided touching for years. For one, she never did learn why Noah had to stop writing, some days she wondered if he was dead. She didn’t dare write back in case he was alive and still in danger, but there were many days she almost wished he was dead. So much of her life was controlled, it’d be nice if she could pick who she would be with. People were more forgiving of widowed soulmates getting together for comfort. But that thought always made guilt soar through her. Then again that wasn’t the only guilt that came when she thought of Noah. Jester had never been allowed to be in a relationship that wasn’t with her soulmate, but that hadn’t stopped her from thinking about it. It was hard to imagine being with Noah since they had still been young when they talked. There was a problem when she found herself attracted to others though, they were both boys and girls. It didn’t help that she had one main crush that she managed to keep to herself, if anyone found out she was positive Father would kill her, no exaggeration. However that didn’t stop her relishing the moments when Elena Taski brushed fingertips with her, or how she sometimes day dreamed about Elena rescuing Jester from her Father’s beating only to carry her bridal style away to a new home. Her crush on the girl didn’t make much sense, she knew that. She constantly tossed insults at Elena, ones she knew would bother her the most, and Elena did the same with her. Elena had burned her multiple times for crossing the line with insults. Elena worked with Malcolm, and both of them hated Jester. But, no matter how pathetic it was, they were the only people to interact with Jester on a daily basis. The fact that she day dreamed about Elena more than Noah always managed to make Jester feel like the worst scum. She should be trying to imagine what he looks like, dreaming up ways to rescue him. She supposed Jesse was right about her, she really was just horribly selfish.

The guilt ate at Jester, and the small comments from Malcolm weren’t helping. She found herself growing shorter with the muscular boy everyday, snapping back with insults that were much too scathing for the situation. What made it worse was that Malcolm could tell he was getting to her, he had improved on brushing off what she said to take pride in that he was upsetting her. He mentioned Noah more often and by name. He kept trying to bother her for his last name claiming that he was going to find him and tell him what a bitch his soulmate was. Elena was helping him, she sometimes saw her going up to random boys asking their names and if they knew anyone named Noah. She overheard Jesse casually toss the name out to his friends. It all came to a head in chemistry, she managed to have class with all three of them at the same time. She sat at a table in the back by herself, she used to sit next to Jesse but after a fight where he claimed he hated her the teacher had her move back. She could do labs by herself just fine anyway. 

The little trio came in together, Malcolm and Jesse with wide smiles and Elena with a little frown. They dragged a tall but skinny boy behind them. He had light blonde hair that barely would go behind his ears and the lightest green eyes Jester had ever seen. He was shaking in Jesse’s grip. Jester’s eyes narrowed and she didn’t bother to smile, she had a feeling that they had found Noah, or at least thought they did.

“Guess who we found Jester? One Noah Treviti at your service!” Jesse announced before pushing the boy towards her. He tripped and fell at her feet. He was even smaller than she first thought. Elena’s frown deepened and she helped the poor boy up. Jester supposed Jesse expected some sort of reaction out of her, a declaration of longing or maybe anger, perhaps he had just been hoping to get a witty remark. She didn’t give any of it to him. She just watched and waited, eventually the supposed Noah would speak for himself and be proven true or false. She’d deal with it then. Jesse frowned and pulled out a pen. He went over and gripped Noah’s arm tight enough that he winced and pulled the long light blue sleeves up and drew a line on his skin. Immediately Jester’s skin tingled and she didn’t have to look down to know that there was a line on her arm too. She still refused to give Jesse the satisfaction of a reaction, instead paying attention to Noah, who was panicking in Jesse’s grip. He was pulling away from Jesse and breathing heavily. Elena had a hand on his shoulder that he was leaning away from. “What is it, cat got your tongue?”

“You’re hurting him,” Jester answered, feeling a protective fire burn in her stomach. Noah had a hard life, he was in a dangerous situation, he listened to her when no one else did, he didn’t deserve this. Jesse scowled and let go of Noah’s arm. Malcolm stepped in front of Jesse, clearly giving Jesse a glare before looking at Jester with a malicious smirk.

“Noah told us why he stopped writing to you--”

“Then let him tell me Lockhart. I don’t care about anything you have to say.” Jester responded coolly before he could finish. Malcolm frowned and looked back towards Noah, who had frozen like a deer in the headlights. There were definite tears in his eyes. His mouth opened to speak but no words came out. Jester felt her heart break slightly, he was definitely scared of her.

“You can just shake your head yes or no if you want and I’ll ask questions, is that okay?” He nodded, Jesse watched with a frown while Malcolm seemed to be contemplating something. Elena still just had that little frown. “Was there a dangerous situation?” He nodded his head, Jesse opened his mouth to say something but Malcolm put a hand on his shoulder. “Is that situation still a problem?” He nodded once again, he had started to rock back and forth with his back. “Would I think it’s a problem?” He didn’t answer right away and she bit her cheek to stop from expressing. He shook his head slowly and looked down. “Did you stop writing to me after you discovered your power?” He looked up at her wide eyed as did the others before nodding his head. “Do you want to be friends again?” Once again he took a while to answer before slowly shaking his head no. She felt like she was going to throw up, but her face stayed the same. “Is it because of me?” He nodded and a tear fell down his face. She clapped her hands together startling them. “Well thanks for the introduction everyone but this poor boy clearly doesn’t want to be near me so why don’t you take him away.” She smiled though her cheeks ached, it ached in rhythm with her chest. This must have been her punishment for her selfish thoughts.

“Aren’t you going to insult him, yell at him, give him the soulmate speech?” Jesse asked, pulling away from Malcolm’s touch. Jester shrugged, raising her eyebrows.

“I mean he has a legit reason to hate me, unlike you with Malcolm, so no. If he doesn’t want to be around me then I sure as hell won’t make him.” Jester explained and Jesse ground his teeth. Mr. Workshire instructed everyone to head to their seats though so Jesse didn’t say anything, just stormed off to the second row. Malcolm and Elena went to their seats two rows in front of Jester and Noah went to the other side of the room one up on her left. He had been that close to her the entire time, and she had never noticed. She didn’t do the lab that day, nor did she take any notes. She just casually looked at Noah from time to time trying to engrain his features into her mind. This was her soulmate, a tall skinny anxious boy, and he wanted nothing to do with her. She must have talked to him before, but he definitely had been one of the ones where they didn’t have a long conversation about powers. If he was scared of his power that probably put him in section fifteen, and she was supposed to know every (now) fifth year students’ powers and below, but she definitely didn’t remember him. If she had gone to the records room to find out his power then she would have known he was her soulmate, but she didn’t know, and she didn’t know his power.

Class was over before Jester had gotten far in contemplation and she stayed seated as everyone else got up. She watched Noah as he pressed his notebook into his chest and hunched slightly as he tried to get out quickly while avoiding everyone else. Jesse practically stomped out, probably disappointed he hadn’t managed to upset her. He seemed more desperate to do that lately. The whole Malcolm reveal must have gotten inside his head. Malcolm took his time to walk out, and Elena stood patiently by his side. Neither were talking, she hadn’t heard Malcolm’s boisterous laugh all of class. She wondered if they would ever realize that she had probably as much training as Elena did on controlling her emotions. Her face was a tool at her disposal, not something that did whatever it wanted. Once everyone was out of the classroom Jester walked slowly out, Mr. Workshire watching her the entire time. She wondered if he had been listening to their conversation before class started. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t said anything to her about doing the work. Most teachers didn’t like her, they knew her reputation as a bully but also didn’t have any evidence besides student complaints. However most people didn’t pay attention, and it was their word against hers, so the school did nothing. It helped that Jester was part of a prestigious family, and that most of the complainers were fellow students from section fifteen. No one in the faculty wanted to deal with section fifteen students. Things just stayed the same, warnings were given, but that was all. Jester, despite never taking notes, was a straight A student who always got the work done. Some teachers had accused her of cheating but even if she took the tests isolated she was fine. Quinn’s were supposed to be smart, so Jester was. If that meant she pulled all nighters studying sometimes no one would know with some extra makeup. She didn’t need to take notes in class because half the time she had already written it down studying in her room. Not taking notes gave her more time to pay attention to her classmates. 

Jester felt like she was floating through the rest of her school day, everything was on autopilot. By the time dinner came around she didn’t even know when she had gotten into the commons. But she had eaten half of a soft slightly burnt slab of meatloaf and called it good. She walked the crowded halls until they got dingier and darker. Almost no one hung around the section fifteen area, not even the janitors. The only people who really did were people looking to ambush others, and it was just Jester’s luck that a certain redhead and her best friend were waiting for her. Jester grimaced when she saw them but Malcolm put his hands up in surrender. His palms were much paler than the rest of his skin, a fact that Jester had managed to never notice before. She didn’t change her expression.

“We’re not here to pick a fight, we just want to know what you did to Noah to make him so scared.” Malcolm said slowly, he put his hands down to his side. Jester forced herself to smile although it drained more energy than it should have.

“To him? Nothing, didn’t know who he was in person until today.” She pushed her hair behind her shoulder as she spoke, getting ready to play a little game with him. He would be confused and she would give him the simple truth and he wouldn’t believe her.

“Then why did you say he has every reason to hate you?” Malcolm asked, keeping his face rid of anything but suspicion, he was getting better at keeping his confusion under wraps. Jester was almost proud.

“Because he clearly has anxiety and I am known to be a bully. Those two don’t mix, and I know for a fact that he used to be bullied. How awful would that be to find your soulmate had become one of your torturers?” She explained and Malcolm’s face twisted into fury.

“You fucking bitch, you probably knew this whole time, this whole thing has been an act just so you could say that one line, wasn’t it!” His shout was phrased as a question but he said it like a statement. For once Jester was taken off guard. She didn’t really have an idea where he got that idea from. She went to question him but he wasn’t done. “That’s why Noah changed his story from when we talked to him to when you talked to him, you’ve known it was him the whole time and have been using him from the beginning, haven’t you? That’s why he’s so scared. You’re worse than I had ever imagined. You’re barely human!” He ranted on stomping closer to her, she knew she wasn’t supposed to show fear so she stayed where she was but her heart pounded violently in her chest and her muscles clenched, ready for pain. He was going to break her down, she was sure of it. The worst part was that she had no idea why. At least most of the time she knew when she crossed the line. If she lied she would get hurt, if she told the truth she would get hurt, it was as if the world had decided nothing she did would lead to good things. Malcolm stopped right in front of her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her forehead and she had to look up to look into his eyes.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, from the amount of times you’ve broken my bones I would think you would know I’m perfectly human.” Her voice sounded like a different person to her, a person who was confident in the face of danger, who made quips despite the pain soon to come. Inside she knew she was just a scared little girl, not old enough to be called an adult but at the age where most people wouldn’t call her a child. She didn’t want to get hurt again, she was so tired of being hurt.

“Well maybe I need to check one more time,” and with that he snapped his fingers and she felt as if fire ripped through her arm and without thinking she looked to see white bone jutting out covered in blood and tore through muscle exposed. She held in a scream, knowing that if she was loud it would only make things worse. Her instincts from home began kicking in. She kept her mouth locked shut and hunched in on herself. Every movement made her arm hurt worse but being hunched made it so there was less area to hit. She focused on keeping her breathing, trying to keep it at a steady rate, hyperventilating only made things worse. It was hard to focus with the voices around her getting louder, but she had practice. Block the voices out, in the end they would only bring more anticipation for the next hit. 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, ignoring everything around her except for her breathing and trying not to throw up from pain, but eventually someone must have seen and gotten the nurses. Their warm soothing healing let her relax. She continued to focus on her breathing but let her shoulders fall. When the nurses were finished they didn’t ask her any questions on who did it. Jester got hurt often and never would tell who had done it. She went back to her dorm and laid on the stained disgusting mattress she had had for years. She was exhausted and ready to go to sleep when she felt a tingle on her arm. When she was young that feeling would fill her with joy, the guilt she had been harboring lashed out as she felt it again.

“Jester, can we talk?” Noah’s handwriting was still as messy as ever, he wrote with a combination of someone who wanted to write with as little space between words and letters and someone who wanted nice loops in their letters. The result was a sort of scrawl that was difficult to read, but Jester had gone through all different types of people's handwriting for years now. She could decode it in seconds. 

“Don’t force yourself to talk to me, I get why you don’t.” She answered, ready to let the situation be one that only tortured her in her mind. She didn’t want to deal with it in the real world any further, especially not today. Then again it might have been early morning of the day after she had a bone ripped through her arm, she hadn’t exactly been paying attention to time. 

“But it’s not what you think! I swear.” She wondered what his power was to make him so frightened all those years ago. She wondered why she didn’t have the faintest idea, she was sure she talked to every student in section fifteen. But it was like he was invisible to her. He must not have had an interesting power, but if it was powerful enough to scare him so badly then it should have at least been slightly interesting. Anything particularly deadly interested Father.

“So you’re not scared of me?” She wrote, hoping it didn’t sound too bitter. Or too hopeful. She wasn’t sure what tone she had been going for in the end, it was just a question to be answered.

“I’m not scared of you.” That wasn’t the answer she expected, and she sat up fully, realizing this was going to be a long conversation.

“Then why don’t you want to be friends?” She asked him, writing smaller so they could fit more on their arms. He wrote on the left and she wrote on the right. If they ran out of room they would switch to legs, but after that they would need to wash off their arms, and she didn’t want to do that too soon. She wanted to be able to look at what he wrote again.

“Jesse can’t know that we’re talking again.” Once again Jester was taken completely off guard again. She had no idea why Noah cared whether or not Jesse knew about them. Maybe he was just trying to keep out of the loop so he wouldn’t feel bad about not being able to be with Malcolm, like why they only wrote at night? However Malcolm and Jesse’s faces were both well known around the school, or at least in section fifteen, so Noah must have noticed the two working together. Perhaps he just thought of it as coincidence? 

“Why?”

“Because then he’ll tell your father, and then your father will realize that you never told him my power. He’ll want to know. If he finds out, your father would try to use me for sure. That’s why we agreed to have you forget me.” After he finished the last sentence it became smudged on Jester’s arm and she realized he was trying to erase it. Her mind was reeling. So she had met Noah before, but for some reason didn’t remember him. That and she hadn’t told Father about him. Noah also seemed to be aware of the fact that Jester’s Father had a plan, a plan that should never come into fruition. Jester was missing a chunk of her life that seemed very important at the moment and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

“What’s your power?” She wrote back, if he could erase people's memories she could see why Father would want to use that but she didn’t see why that would make him think that he was dangerous. Then again that could have been a lie to throw Jesse off his trail. He might not even be in section fifteen. Jester didn’t really know anything about Noah anymore. He didn’t answer right away, not like before. When he did finally answer he wrote slower, it made his writing more legible. 

“I can make people do whatever I say.” Jester had another set of realization bestowed upon by that revelation. No wonder he was afraid of Father using him, because there was no doubt in Jester’s mind that Father would use Noah until it wasn’t possible anymore and then keep trying to anyway. That kind of power belonged in section one, but if something went wrong it could easily land Noah in section fifteen. Based on the message from when they were younger Jester had a feeling something had gone wrong and he was in section fifteen, like her. She also now knew that what Noah was saying was very literal, people wouldn’t just perform the actions that he told them to do, but he could literally make them do whatever he said, like forget an entire encounter. She wasn’t sure what to say to that. Jester looked over their conversation so far and noticed that he had said “we” when discussing the forgetting event.

“How long did we know each other, before we decided to have my memory erased?” For all she knew she had hid it from everyone for over a year that she was in contact with her soulmate, a whole series of events gone. 

“Not long, maybe an hour. You confronted me after my first class and asked me about my power. When you found out my name was Noah you asked what my last name was. When you realized that we were soulmates you had me come to the hallways of section fifteen and asked if you could give me a hug.” He had to move down to their leg to write now, their left arms were filled with his loops. “We talked about what we had missed in each other's lives and you explained your dad’s plan to take over the world. We knew that if you told him about my power he’d do everything he could to use me, even if that meant hurting my mom. You didn’t want to take the chance of him finding out so you asked me to make you forget the encounter, and ignore me unless I confronted you.” That did seem to be in character for herself, and she was glad she was only missing a little bit of her life. It also explained why she hadn’t noticed him again. 

“I don’t want to forget you again.” She wrote to him the truth, because finally there was someone she could tell it to without worry of pain or punishment. She didn’t have to worry about anyone else overhearing or seeing, it was night and the only light came from a battery powered lamp she kept on at all times. She wondered if the lights in the boys dormitory were as broken as the girls, and if they were, how Noah was seeing. Jester needed support right now, when she was younger she needed it too but there weren’t so many people against her, Father wasn’t as close to winning as he was now and she wasn’t brought home to beat as often. Malcolm and Elena didn’t fight against her and she didn’t have to worry about broken bones and burns at school. If she could talk to Noah at night she wouldn’t be alone all the time, she could talk to someone about the pain. She could help him too, she wouldn’t mind having him practice his power on her, maybe they could use it to take down Father instead of him using it against them. She could listen to his problems, they could discuss homework together. Jester hadn’t had a friend in years.

“What room is yours in your dorm?” She didn’t know why he was asking that, maybe he wanted to talk in person. It was hard to wash in private in the section fifteen bathrooms.

“First hall way, take a right, fourth door down.” It was probably the only door that had a light coming from under it, but she wasn’t sure about that and didn’t want him to walk into a random room. That was dangerous. Then again, maybe he was just taking this down as a note for future information and wasn’t on his way there. His question had come out of left field. When she heard footsteps coming down the hall she felt a smile creep up on her face. No one else would be walking around this late at night, it had to be him, he did want to talk to her in person. She wanted a chance to look at him more, to see if she had missed anything when examining him in chemistry. She wanted to never forget her soulmate’s face again. Her door opened and she noticed for the first time how tall Noah was, he was very skinny but probably taller than Malcolm if he stood up straight. His dirty blonde hair was a short mess that was only floofy to the end of his ears. His eyes were a lighter green than Jester’s own. However the most noticeable thing about him was the deep frown on his lips, and the way he had long sleeves on still and long pants covering up the marks of their conversation. The only sign that he was the one who had been writing to her was the blue pen in his right hand. Jester ignored the frown, and moved over so he could sit next to her on the mattress. He stayed standing.

“I’m sorry,” he began and Jester tensed. Nothing good ever came from starting a sentence that way, the start of many sentences she had said. She didn’t interrupt him though, there was nothing she could do about what he was about to do. Although she was left to wonder if she actually had agreed the first time. “Forget about our conversation and meeting, ignore me unless I confront you again. Go to sleep.” With that the world went dark.

#writeblr #original fiction #soulmate au #tw violence #TW child abuse #tw bullying #tw homophobia #tw manipulation #learn to be

[txladyj-blog]

Chapter 5 - This Time Around

a Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx​

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 15/?

Sleep. It’s when the body recovers and processes the day’s events. It makes things clearer and allows for a new perspective. Resting the mind, the body and the soul all at once. That is, where decent sleep can be attained.

Jess tossed and turned in her sleeping bag all night, tears staining her thin and threadbare pillow. Eventually, when the exhaustion of humiliation and rage had defeated her, she drifted off in the early hours of the morning only to dream of being chased and jolting awake a mere hour later. Her eyes felt puffy and stung with the reminder that emotionally, she desperately needed a break. She sat up, wiped the sleep from her eyes and faced the dread that festered deep inside. Facing everyone after the events of the night before was going to be tough, she knew that much.

When she emerged from her tent, she quickly scanned the camp, seeing no sign of Sarah and Jodie and figuring that it was a good start at least. Carol and Andrea offered her a small smile as they stood and talked by the RV and Dale lifted a hand in a small wave from his perch at the top. Aside from their small acknowledgements, no one else looked up as she headed for the food station. The minimal and careless reaction she received did something to aid her relief at least and she sensed her heart rate calm and her anxiety lessen.

After a night of replaying her recent torture by Sarah and Jodie, she wanted nothing more than to sit next to the one person she found solace with, but even he seemed too far out of reach. She knew deep down his distance from her was down to being associated with the girl that was constantly made fun of. She wasn’t the only one that had been humiliated. The thought of giving up on their friendship was not one she wanted to entertain and so, she had to at least try to talk to him.

Sitting on a rounded rock, alone and with eyes pinned on the still water, like a sheet of glass in front of him, Daryl could hear footsteps wandering across the gravel towards him. He sighed, knowing it was Jess and feeling more torn than ever. Half of him wanted to yell at her and make her go away. To tell her that he was not the type of person to maintain friendships and that he was better on his own, without the hassle of drawing attention from the lesser liked members of the group. The other half craved her company, her lighthearted banter, her smile, the gentle way she nudged his arm and laughed quietly when she was making fun of him. It was this half that was stronger, but he was locked in a war with them both.

“Hi” She said quietly.

A quick glance at her told him she had been severely affected by what had happened. Dark circles under her eyes told of a sleepless night spent crying and pouring over the details. The ‘what if’s’ the ‘maybe I could have’s’. His heart stung with sympathy but his face displayed nothing. A blank expression.

“Hey” He grunted.

She held out a metal bowl to him. It was another habit of their friendship that had suddenly become as routine as their nightly RV meeting place. She would wake as early as him, before many of the others would stir. She’d fix them some food and they’d sit together and eat quietly as the sun crept up into the sky and the warmth in the air became heavy and intense. Jess was never much of a morning person but her disturbed sleeping pattern and her unavoidable new life meant she was adapting and although she rarely spoke much before the others began to emerge from their tents, she enjoyed the fact that Daryl obviously felt the same about the comfort of the morning routine, having never complained or walked off until she moved first.

“Brought you some breakfast.” She told him.

“I ain't hungry.” He muttered. His body was rigid, stressed and on edge and no matter how many cigarettes he smoked, he could not ease the tension in his muscles. He wasn’t lying. Food was the last thing on his mind.

“You can always eat, Daryl.” She smiled.

“Said I ain't hungry.” He snapped. His chest constricted with guilt.

I’m being an asshole to her. Again. Why do I do this?

She immediately noticed his changed attitude towards her and joined the dots, realizing that he was angry about the previous night.

“Look, about last night-” She started

“-I don’t wanna talk about that.” He cut in

“But, I don’t-”

His head snapped around and his eyes met hers. To her dismay, they were filled with fury and she almost flinched at his aggressive attitude towards her.

“-What is wrong with you?! Huh?!” He raged “We ain’t gonna be no best friends! I don’t have friends n’ I don’t want ‘em neither! I don’t work that way! So just give it up!”

Her mouth dropped open and she blinked at him in disbelief. It was no secret that Daryl could be unpredictable and sharp tongued, but she had seen very little of it directed at her until that moment. Her entire body recoiled and screamed at her to leave before she was faced with more bitter disappointment and hurt.

Still clutching the bowl, she turned and walked away. Her path was blurred through yet more tears and she considered that if she was going to cry at anything since the turn, it would be the loss of her friends and family. But it was different, Daryl had changed things. Sarah and Jodie had changed things. She was mixed up, confused and frustrated.

Daryl grit his teeth and swallowed hard as he watched her walk away. Sliding from the rock, he started after her, boots noisily crashing through the pebbles of the shore. But his mind was too filled with complexities to have formed any kind of calm and coherent conversation. He stopped and raised his arms, his hands pushing into his hair on each side as he closed his eyes.

“Shit.”

He didn’t know why he was angry at her, logic told him that none of it was her fault. She was merely an unfortunate and easy target, but the humiliation was still raw and he still felt it from the night before. Always being an outcast and a target himself during high school and in the small, mountain town where he and his brother lived, Daryl had quickly become tired with being kicked when he was down and being dealt the worst hand. He evolved as he aged into what people that knew of him saw as a mini-me version of Merle and it was a judgement he couldn’t seem to shake and so eventually accepted. But the truth was, he wasn’t like Merle. He was empathetic and sensitive, two traits that would only get him targeted even more. He knew how Jess felt, maybe it was why he had raged at her, the all too familiar feeling of being so publicly ridiculed. Or, maybe it was because he felt genuine, powerful concern for her that had startled him and he didn’t know where it had come from or to do with it.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Sarah flashed Daryl a wide grin as she approached him on the slope but received nothing but a scowl in return. She could see why the camp nerd had attached herself to him, he was brave, mysterious and surly. Not like the other men in the camp and he had garnered her admiration from the day she turned up with Jodie in tow, both shaking with fear and exhausted from the hike up the mountain. Merle had been easier to get through to, easier to persuade to follow her into the woods so she could use him to forget for a while.

It was an occurrence that he didn’t want a single soul to know about and gathered that Sarah felt the same. Daryl didn’t even register the first time she propositioned him, he’d shrugged off her passing, flirtatious comment as nothing, but it occurred to him when she tried a second time and made it more than obvious that she wanted something from him. He knew of girls like her. Whiter than white, rich kids from privileged backgrounds who love to make out that they’re so wholesome and in a position to persecute everyone else for their bad decisions, all the while going about numbing their own pain with the same activities they claim to loathe in others. When she confronted him in the tree line one evening and shoved him against a tree, he felt her hand cup between his legs and for a split second thought he might be having some kind of screwed up dream. Sarah’s long blonde hair tickled over his arms when she pressed herself to his body and brought her lips close to his ear.

“Wanna have a little fun, Daryl?”

His face twisted with disgust as he shoved her away from him, stopping himself from going as far as pointing his crossbow at her.

“Get the fuck away from me” He warned while she regained her footing on the woodland floor and stared at him with a determined look on her face.

“C’mon, let’s just forget for a while” She purred, reaching a hand out and dragging her fingertips down his bicep and biting her lip. “You’re hot. I’m hot. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” He grabbed her wrist so quickly it made her jump, his fingers like a vice as he used her arm to propel her backwards until her back hit a nearby tree and the air was knocked from her lungs, she buckled over and wheezed before gasping up at him in shock.

Self control was something Daryl was either good at or impulsive with, depending on the situation. Stood before a fed faced, coughing Sarah, all he wanted to do was shoot her in the face. But he wasn’t about to risk the place in the camp that he had earned. He knew Rick would banish him and probably Merle too for killing the living. He found himself inches from her face, sweat trickling down his temple.

“Don’t ever touch me again.” He growled.

Storming off into the dimly lit woods, he withdrew his knife from its holster and veered off in the direction where he’d last seen Walkers, needing to expel some rage.

When he noticed Sarah walking down the slope towards him, he decided that his lack of action to defend Jess and himself had meant that she thought she had triumphed over them, and so he needed the satisfaction of confronting her. But it wasn't just that, it was also years of being tormented, of seeing other kids dragged through the same ordeals. Dragged down to rock bottom by insecure, selfish kids that just made an already difficult childhood and life even harder. It was more than one thing. It was a multitude of things that Sarah represented and finally, he'd decided enough was enough.

Wearing a thin, dusty pink cami top that left nothing to the imagination, she ran a hand though her hair, gathering it at one side and winking at him. The tiny gesture did nothing but make him want to yell in her face. He stopped in her path and noted her looking him up and down with approval.

“Changed your mind?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hi stomach churned. He couldn't think of anything less appealing. Merle's leftover's which happened to be highly undesirable in the first place. Daryl wasn't altogether as interested in the fairer sex as his brother was. Having never encountered a woman that possessed the traits in which he found attractive. While Merle went for the physical aspects of a female, Daryl was more drawn to the complexities of one's character and personality; Honesty, integrity, a sense of humour and a level of intelligence. As a result, the likes of Sarah was the embodiment of everything he despised.

“The hell was that last night?” He snapped.

“Just lightening the mood. Everybody’s so tense and boring around here.” She complained, rolling her eyes and twirling a piece of blonde hair around her fingers.

“Yeah?” He squared up to her, closing the gap between them. She tried to back up, stopping when she realized she was almost flat against the crumbling wall of the walkway to the quarry. “The next time ya do somethin’ like that for fun, ya better watch ya back, ‘cause you’ll be the one I trip up in front of Walkers to buy everybody else some time.”

An unsure but mischievous smile crept across her face.

“You’re real sexy when you’re mad, Y’know that? I bet you can unleash all kinds of rage in the bedroom. Can see why she’s got such a huge crush on you. It’s a pity your taste in women is so terrible, you sure you’d rather get your kicks with her over me?”

Actually, I would but I’m not about to admit that to you.

An idea crossed his mind. A risky one but an appealing one nonetheless. Sarah and Jodie toyed with Jess like a cat toys with a mouse before it kills it. Bit by bit, stealing small parts of its life force away. Daryl very deliberately dragged his eyes from her face, all the way down her body and back up again.

“You really wanna go to the woods with me?” He asked.

“You were my first choice, you know that.” She grinned.

“Alright, you gonna make it worth my while?” He asked.

“Oh yeah.”

Impulsivity. It was one of his flaws. His emotions and sensitivity leading him astray, into the realm of snap decisions that he sometimes regretted. But in the grand scheme of things, he couldn't see how any consequences that developed from his sudden idea could possibly make anything worse.

“Follow me.” He instructed with a small nudge of his head.

In the woods, Daryl walked as far as he could before reaching the border, stopping and leaning against a tree. He wiped his brow with the back of his hand and tilted his head back at Sarah, who had halted in front of him and was looking at him like a lion eyeballs a steak. Merle was the better manipulator out of the two of them, but Daryl possessed the higher intellect that meant he knew exactly what to do going forward. Sarah was a simple creature, after one thing and one thing only. All he had to do was lead her there and she would do the rest.

“C’mon, get over here” He encouraged. "Unless ya shy."

“I’m not the shy type.” She purred as she moved close to him began skimming her fingertips along the edge of his leather vest, drawing subtle lines down his chest. Everything in him was screaming to be removed from the situation. The sensation of her fingertips skimming down his chest over his shirt felt like pure poison.

“Bet you can be a real bad girl, huh?” He asked. She slowly peered up at him, licking her lips. He let her close the gap between them and felt her nose and lips graze the side of his face.

"You wanna find out how bad I can be?" She uttered against his skin.

He clenched his jaw in disgust and wondered how anyone could possibly enjoy this kind of seedy and nauseating state of affairs. He took a deep breath before rapidly seizing her shoulders and ramming her back against the opposite tree. Her back hit the bark with a thump and shock flashed across her face, her hands coming up and tugging at his wrists. She wriggled under the pressure of his weight, his forearm now clamped across her chest and rendering her immobile. He levelled his eyes at her, his glare burning into her self-centered soul.

“I ain't never laid no violent hand on a woman, but you ain't no woman. You’re nothin’ but a fuckin’ parasite. I wouldn’t screw you if my life depended on it. What ya did to that girl was fuckin’ low. She ain’t never done nothin’ to you.” He seethed, finally standing up for Jess’s honor didn’t feel as strange as he imagined it to. In fact, it felt totally right.

“That’s cute. You’re defending poor, chubby Jennifer” she pouted breathlessly

This bitch really doesn’t give up.

Daryl suddenly felt like he was watching someone else make a move as his hand lowered and took hold of his hunting knife. In a split second, the shiny, silver blade was pressed against Sarah’s throat and her eyes flashed with pure terror. The knife pressed further towards her skin and he knew he’d have to let up soon or he really would end up killing her. Her chin rippled and a small, frightened whimper was enough to tell Daryl that he had succeeded in scaring her into submission. Finally, she gave in, her cheeks suddenly wet with tears.

“Her name’s Jess, dumbass.” He spat. “I don’t know how the hell you’re even still alive if ya this fuckin’ stupid. You even look at her again n’ I’ll slit ya goddamn throat and leave ya out here to the Walkers. You understandin’ me?”

She nodded tearfully, sniffing and still trying to feebly pull on his arm to release her. But Daryl only moved when he was ready, staring her down before he eventually released her and was gone in the blink of an eye.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Jess didn’t move from her tent for the entire day. She ignored Carol’s attempt to coax her out to eat something and Glenn checking in on her by peering around the zipper of the tents entrance. In the night, she got up and wandered down to the water's edge. Unbeknownst to her, Daryl was sat in the dark, smoking and reflecting upon his actions that day. He was sure that Sarah deserved to be frightened into ceasing her childish and spiteful antics, but he was unsure if his violent threat had been the right move to make. He had never hurt or threatened a woman before, telling himself his whole life that he would be nothing like his father. But in that moment, with Sarah shoved against a tree with a blade to her throat, he wanted nothing more than to be able to follow through with his threat, especially when he visualized Jess’s horrified and devastated face while she watched in horror as Sarah read her journal aloud. He was some distance from her, far enough back from the water for her not to notice his presence but close enough to see her hugging her knees, lit by the moon and hear her quiet sobbing.

It was a sunny, Sunday afternoon. The first Jess and her family had spent in their new home on the Army base in Ft Rucker. Their sixth, official military base home in as many years. Moving so much had come at a cost, Jess never really settled anywhere and found it difficult to hold down friendships. Her studies suffered and her parents piled on the pressure to succeed despite her struggles. She wasn’t like them, not an overachiever in everything she tried and as a result, always felt a little outcast, even from her own immediate family. But she loved them unconditionally anyway. The Barbeque was in full swing, the burgers were being slid into buns and piled up on the table in the yard, the smell of charcoal and burning meat filling her nostrils and cementing its place in her memory as a connection to one of the most enjoyable afternoons of her life. Jess and her older brother played cards while sipping punch made from fruit juices and an extremely large bottle of rum that her father had emptied into it without her mother knowing. He offered Jess a small wink after he hid the empty bottle in a cupboard and carried the punch bowl outside. They ate as much as humanly possible in one sitting, laughed and felt the hazy blur of alcohol after a couple of hours and finished up the evening with a loud and boisterous game of charades. If she could choose to have anything, to go back to any point in time, she wouldn’t erase the last few hours, she would simply opt to go back to that day and relive it again. To be with her family and drink her father’s super strong punch and eat four burgers without caring what anyone thought. But she was stuck in a quarry, in a camp at the end of the world with Sarah and Jodie, the type of people she despised, a bunch of others that she hardly knew and didn’t want to, even though their hearts seemed good and their intentions were sincere. And Daryl, she didn’t know what she thought of him anymore.

He finished his smoke and drew in a deep and thoughtful breath. His heart told him to go to her, but his head said otherwise. He was getting attached; he knew that much because the feeling itself was unknown to him. He’d never felt it before about anyone, never cared enough. Certainly not enough to hold a knife to another human's throat in their honor. It was dangerous to become attached to people, he couldn’t trust them and didn’t need to rely on them and eventually, everyone goes away in the end in some way or another. But Jess seemed different and he pondered if it would be so bad to just have one friend. To have that one person that knew him more than his brother did. His heart won the battle and he got up and went to her, his boots crunching on the gravel. When she heard him near her, she jumped up and swiped tears from her face with her sleeve.

“Hey, Jess.” He said.

It was most unusual, the use of her name in his greeting to her. From this simple and apparently meaningless phrase, she knew everything had changed.

“Hi” She sniffed.

He sighed when he saw her puffy face, a tear glistening in the moonlight on her cheek. In his whole life, he was certain he’d not felt an ounce of sympathy when anyone cried, but stood there before Jess, who was undeserving and innocent, his chest hurt and he wanted to do something totally out of the ordinary…he wanted to hug her.

“Heard ya cryin.” Was all he said instead, unable to muster the courage for physical contact.

“Bad day at the office,” she remarked.

It was clearer than ever that she was the only person he’d ever spoken to that seemed to want to be around him and be his friend. His angry and embarrassed reaction to recent events meant he took it out on her with no grounds in which to do so, but it was all he knew and what she’d written in her journal had made everything exceptionally awkward.

“S’my fault. Shouldn’t have gone in on ya like that” He admitted.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” She responded, turning her back and walking to the slope.

Something in Daryl urged him to stop her. To say something. Anything to prevent her from walking away and the situation remaining unsolved or even improved in the slightest.

“Hey. Wait.” He called out, but she continued to walk, bringing a hand up and wiping her face again. “Jess. Stop. Please” He tried again. She stopped but didn’t grace him with turning around or even a glance over her shoulder. She couldn’t look at him, too mortified to be near him.

“Just ignore ‘em.”

By all accounts and by his own admission, it was a feeble and pathetic attempt to soothe her feelings. Far from being an expert, the intention was there but the know how and the sensitivity lacked. However, Jess couldn’t deny that she appreciated his effort, it was just too little, too late. Finally spinning around to face him, she flapped her arms by her sides with exasperation.

“You said it yourself, we weren’t even friends in the first place. Why are you even talking to me?” She asked, by that point totally done with skirting around the issue and feeling her temper beginning to rise.

“That was just some shit I said in anger.” Daryl tried to explain as honestly and to the point as possible.

“C’mon, Daryl. Don’t say that just because you feel guilty for yelling at me and being a dick for the past few days. You don’t even have a right to be angry at me, I haven’t done anything wrong. You don’t like me any more than they do. I’ve just forced you to talk to me since I’ve been here.” She argued. Her body language had changed, now laced with hints of anger and irritation as her hands flew up every time she started a new sentence.

“I don’t do nothin I don’t wanna do.” He told her.

She wiped at her face again, her skin still damp and puffy and the extra tears now doing nothing but increasing her anger. He wished he could say what he wanted to say but far from being an expert at such confrontations, he was having trouble getting his point across. Panic set in when he saw her try to leave again and so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“The way you are with me, ain’t like nobody else.”

She halted and shot him a confused look.

“What does that even mean? I’ve always treated you like you’re another human being.” She cried with exasperation. If no one in the camp had heard her raised voice by now, they were lucky.

“Yeah” He agreed. “Exactly.”

Then, she understood. His uncomfortable expression, his hands pushed into his jeans pockets and the fact that he was still stood there despite the emotional toll of the topic, told her a lot. He was trying. What she couldn’t decide, was if it was through guilt, or because he genuinely cared. The prospect of them carrying on as friends after the journal incident was a ridiculous notion to Jess. Nothing would ever be the same again and neither of them had asked for it.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that. What she read out. I-I didn’t know what I was talking about when I wrote it.” She attempted to explain.

“Don’t have to explain. It’s alright.” He dismissed as he dug a boot into the dirt.  

“I don’t want you thinking that the only reason I hang out with you is because I think your attractive or that I have a stupid crush on you. That’s not the reason I talk to you so much.” She confirmed with little belief that it would do anything to stop him going over what he had heard every time he looked at her.

“I know.” He mumbled

“I mean, I’m not saying you’re not attractive. You obviously… are. Very attractive. I just…”

I’m digging my own grave here. Stop talking.

“Nevermind.”

She heard him huff and caught him smiling in the moonlight. It was an overly shy smile and in that moment, during the most difficult conversation they’d ever had about a subject that was leaving them both highly uncomfortable, she had delivered a compliment to him that she was convinced had actually made him blush. To her it was the most amazing thing and a sight she could have looked at all night. He appeared so bashful that his lip curled up into an almost never ending half smile and he could only look out across the water. Her growing affection for him intensified in those few seconds.

“Um…Thanks.” He grunted

She sighed and dropped her gaze to the floor, sensing him studying her silently for a moment. He was baffled by his urge to protect her having previously failed to see how much their friendship had grown over the months they’d spent at the camp.

“We are friends. Alright? And I don’t think you’re a loser.” He wanted her to know.

She slowly looked up at him and he wished it was lighter, just a little more, so he could see her eyes and try to gauge how she was reacting. But a silhouetted figure and a darkness shrouded face was all he had to work with.

“Maybe a little weird…n’ too damn loud in the woods. But ya ain’t no loser.” He added, lightheartedly.

Just smile at me. Please.

“Not sure about that.” She whispered as she wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her torso.

“Jess, it don’t matter. What she did. What she read out. It don’t matter.”

It was a last-ditch attempt at trying to convince her to put it all behind her and try and start over. For a fleeting moment, he thought she was about to agree when she offered him a small smile. But then, she started to back away.

“Matters to me.”

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Such a conversation with Daryl was a first and Jess lay in her tent with her head propped up on her backpack full of clothes and over thought every single detail. It was one of her downfalls, overanalyzing everything and coming up with six when she put two and two together. The stitching on the inside of the roof of the tent was now serving a different purpose than to just keep a roof over her head. It was now a visual representation of every single time she’d been hurt by Sarah or Jodie. Every little quip or whisper sewn into the fabric just like it was now sewn into the fabric of her being.

Sitting up, she crawled to the front of the tent and checked the top of the RV. Andrea was sat alone at the top, reading a book. No sign of Daryl. She growled to herself. Typical. She wanted to find him, to speak to him and tell him that she was willing to try and put everything behind her and continue to be his friend if he wanted her to be. That she’d had time to think and decided that the friendship that had blossomed from nowhere between them was too good a thing to throw away.

She climbed out of her tent, crossed the clearing and approached the slope that led down to the water, checking the place she’d last seen him made the most sense to her. Hearing whispers in front of her from the cloak of darkness, she detected Merle’s voice, along with Daryl’s.  

“I hear you right earlier? Ya ain’t comin’ into the city.” Merle asked.

“No. Ya only want whiskey, Merle. Rick was right, s’a bad idea.” Daryl replied, shooting the idea down in flames.

“That little girlfriend of yours got ya all mixed up? You ain’t no fun no more” Merle complained.

Jess sighed, releasing a huff of anger at the notion that everyone seemed to have it in for them.

“She ain’t my girlfriend, man. Get outta here with that shit.” Daryl protested.

“We all heard what she wrote in that diary o’hers. Tellin’ me you wouldn’t tap that? it wouldn’t take much convincin’.”

“Stop.” came Daryl's short warning.

“Oh, I see it now. She actually means somethin’ to you, don’t she? That the reason our plan means diddly squat to you now? ‘Cause ya went ‘n caught some feelin’s for the little, fat chick?”

Ignoring Merle’s offensive description of her, Jess’s mind raced with the possible responses Daryl could have to the question. Would he tell his brother that he cared about her? Would he just brush it off and remind him they were just friends? Or was she about to hear him confess to seeing her the same way as she saw him?

“The plan ain’t a plan no more because it was a fuckin’ dumb idea! She’s just a girl, she don’t mean shit to me, alright?! Just drop it.”

In the blink of an eye, upon the delivery of one sentence, Jess stopped believing in happy endings. She knew fairytales didn’t exist and it was confirmed for her that she would never fully trust anyone again. Her sneakers scraped up over the gravel as she began to back away from the sound of the voices. Her heart was undoubtedly broken, but she was done with crying over it. 

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I think it’s time I left this place. Maybe it’s better to keep moving. I don’t contribute anything to the group that can’t be replaced by somebody else and I don’t think I can live with the humiliation that Sarah and Jodie have caused. I also overheard Daryl telling his brother that I mean nothing to him. I thought we were friends at least. I should have known his mixed signals were lies. I’m so stupid. What was I thinking? In hindsight, it was obvious that getting attached to someone like him would only get me hurt. But I just had that hope. Stupid, wasted, dangerous hope. I still can’t believe it’s all been a lie.

I stole a gun from the RV and a couple cans of food that nobody will notice are gone until I’m at least a few miles out. Hopefully, it’ll help to keep me going on my way back to the city. I suspect Daryl may try to track me at first, but at least I know now that it won’t be because he cares. It’ll be because people will ask him to. Maybe Carol, or Carl. I’ll miss them and I hope they make it.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Two hours was all he needed. Two hours of broken sleep and he was up and tracking rabbits in the woods. The task at hand would have been easy enough, having been performed a million and one times over. But that was when his head was clearer and his circumstances were different. Even before the turn, there was always something hanging over him right from when he was a child. His father’s violence, his mothers drinking, Merle’s increasing absence, school, bar fights, drugs, bail money. The only tranquility in Daryl’s whirlwind of a life was the woods. The place he felt like he could be himself and stop entertaining thoughts of whatever issue he had to deal with that day. But now the world had changed and so had he, thanks to the introverted but chatty girl he had befriended and managed to hurt at the same time. He told himself; one more rabbit. It would be enough and then he could go back to camp and sit with her. He didn’t plan on saying much, but he hoped his presence alone would be enough for her to see that he wasn’t going to enable anything that Sarah or Jodie had done to impact their friendship after all.

Catching the final rabbit had been easy, barely ten minutes spent tracking the target that was so busy trying to find its own food that it noticed nothing untoward until the last, deadly second. When he pushed through the trees, clutching a collection of rabbits and squirrels, he was forced to halt where he was. Carol stood in front of him with her arms tightly wrapped around her torso and her lips pushed into a thin line. The first thought that entered his head was that the camp had been attacked and someone was dead. The flash of panic that surged through his veins at the thought of it being Jess took him by surprise. Carol slowly walked towards him.

“What’s goin’ on?” he questioned.

“Daryl…” She started. “It’s Jess.”

No. No, this can’t be happening. Tell me she’s alive.

He could sense his chest constrict and his grip become tighter around the legs and tails of the dead animals in his grasp.

“What? What about her? She OK?” He demanded.

Carol let out a sympathetic huff and tilted her head to the side, shrugging one shoulder up.  

“She’s gone.” She whispered.

“Gone? What d’ya mean, ‘gone’?”

Daryl’s voice was now a lot louder than he had meant it to be, but the need for more information was now starting to press on his last nerve.

“Her belongings are missing, so is one of Shane’s guns. We think she left in the night.” Carol explained.

His eyes flashed with disbelief and he surged past her, striding over to the camp and dumping the animals in the dirt by the burned-out fire. Everyone stopped their tasks and conversations as he began throwing open people’s tents, storming in and out of the RV like a hurricane and calling her name at the top of the slope to the water. Carol watched on as he paced back and forth with his hands on his head as Merle emerged from his tent.

“Naw.” He shakes his head “Naw. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t just leave.”

“She not here. We’ve looked everywhere.” Glenn offered from beside Rick and Shane, who were stood next to the loaded-up truck which had all their guns arranged on the hood like a bizarre art installation.

Daryl looked over at her tent, lunging at it and ripping it open, his face falling in dismay when he saw nothing inside. He growled loudly to himself as his breathing increased and his heart started to hammer. Carol, who was usually skittish and nervous around aggression and anger, made the attempt to calm him by gently touching his arm but as soon as the contact was made with his skin, he flinched and threw her off.

“SHIT!” He bellowed.

Throwing his crossbow from his back onto the floor, he spun around, his gaze stopping on Andrea.

“You!” He exclaimed, pointing a calloused finger at her. His hand hovered over her chest and she took a step back. “You were s’posed to be on watch! Why didn’t ya see her leave?! Huh?! The fuck were ya doin’ up there?!”

Before she could even begin to fathom an answer, Rick stepped in and worked his way in between them, placing a hand on Daryl’s chest and coaxing him back. Again, he flinched off the contact which told Rick in no uncertain terms that now more than ever, was not a good time to be touching him.

“Daryl, this isn’t anybody’s fault. She took everything with her. She wanted to go.” Rick reasoned.

“No! You don’t know her! She wouldn’t!” He argued.

“You got it bad, boy” Merle laughed from the other side of camp. His boots cracked over snapping twigs on the ground while he slowly made his way over to the scene. Sauntering casually and rolling a cigarette between his fingers. “I thought she didn’t mean shit to ya. Ain't that what you said?”

Something in Daryl snapped. He swung an arm out and collided his fist with his brother’s nose. The impact was so strong that it caused Merle to stagger back after everyone winced at the sickening crack that echoed around the camp and bounced from the trees. Merle blinked in surprise and brought his hands up to his face. Warmth coated his fingers as blood trickled through the gaps. His eyes flicked up and he lunged at Daryl, only to be stopped by Shane. Daryl's hand thundered with pain but it was a pain he needed, a welcome distraction from the pain in his heart, caused by the knowledge that he had failed to reassure her, to keep her here under the promise that nothing had to change. A million and one 'what if's' floated through his mind.

“Easy” Shane grunted while throwing his weight back against Merle to prevent him from surging forwards and causing a mass brawl.

“I’ma knock you into the middle o’ next week, you little shit!” Merle hissed. Blood sprayed messily from between his teeth, peppering his vest and anyone unlucky enough to be close enough to him.  

Daryl, chest heaving and teeth clamped together, made off for the trees.

“Where are you going? Daryl?!” Carol called after him.

“To find her!” He shouted over his shoulder. “Y’all would do well to stay outta my fuckin’ way too.”

“What if she doesn’t want to be found?” Carol reasoned.

Ignoring her, he vanished into the trees, leaving Shane Still struggling with Merle and a dozen shocked faces all peering awkwardly at one another.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

When evening arrived, it brought with it Daryl’s return to the camp. Much to the surprise of the other inhabitants that expected him to be gone for days on end. He said nothing, only sitting down by the fire and hanging his head. His arms were decorated with scratches and as Rick watched him push his fingers into his dirty, tousled hair he realized that Jess’s departure had impacted their resident hunter more than he had thought.

“Here” He said, throwing a plastic bottle of water over at him. It landed between his boots and Daryl wearily reached down and picked it up. He unscrewed the cap and took a large gulp. Around him, was every single other member of the camp. He had walked into some kind of meeting but could care less about interrupting. He knew Rick was mid-sentence when he’d appeared and flopped down onto the ground, not listening to a word that was being said. In fact, he didn’t even notice when the cop and seemingly unelected leader stopped talking and his surroundings grew uncomfortably quiet. Clearing his throat, Rick carried on speaking.

“Is everybody in agreement that we should go ahead with tomorrow morning’s run?”

People must have nodded but Daryl didn’t look up or show an ounce of interest.

“We need more food.” Rick continued “Daryl?”

He didn't want to talk, or have to make any decisions. he didn't want to take part in a meeting or do anything except rest until he had enough energy to go back out in search of his friend. A long and exhausted sigh followed an angry glare when he finally looked up meant Rick had already been put in his place. But he knew he had to ask the question regardless."

“You OK to hunt over the next couple days?”

“No.” Daryl said firmly.

Rick’s eyebrows raised momentarily and he caught the gaze of his wife, Lori. She gave him a small nod, urging him to continue.

“We don’t have enough food for the next few days.” He explained.

“Yeah, n' I said no. I’m goin’ lookin for Jess.” Daryl snapped back.

“Oh, come on.” He heard Sarah scoff. Rage flared in his chest and pumped through his veins, white hot fury fueling him to act. He jumped to his feet and with a click and a gasp sounding out from those around him, he pointed his crossbow at her face. Tense murmurs filled the air and Rick was rapidly crossing the space between them with intent to stop him.

“Back off, Sherriff.” Daryl warned without moving his vision from his target, stopping Rick in his tracks and pushing the crossbow further into Sarah’s face.

“Hey, shit for brains” he hissed through his teeth at her. “You two are the reason she’s gone. If ya don’t shut up I’ma put a bolt between ya eyes”

“Daryl, you won’t be hurting anyone. Put it down.” Rick insisted, drawing his gun.

Merle, who had been slowly ambling up the slope to the camp when he heard a commotion, seemed to turn up out of nowhere. Calmly, and apparently with no recollection of his brother’s savage punch earlier in the day, he stepped between the barrel of Ricks gun and Daryl.

“Woah, now Sheriff. What ya say you just let my brother do what he pleases? He’s been feedin’ y’all for weeks now. He wants to shoot the bitch, then I say we let him.” He smiled. “She ain’t good for much anyways”

Sarah looked up at Daryl’s fierce expression over the tip of the arrow pointed at her forehead.

“You calling me shit for brains? Please. Stupid Redneck.” She shot at him with little to no fear of being impaled in the face with a crossbow bolt. Telling herself he wouldn’t do it, she forced her shoulders back and tried to hide her fear.  

“Rednecks good enough to scratch ya itches though, right?” Daryl commented.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Oh whatever, asshole.”

“You been fuckin’ Merle in the woods” He proclaimed loudly. Sarah’s jaw dropped open and Jodie, who had shifted up considerably from her side, stared at her friend in disbelief.

“You said he was lying.” She whispered.

“Oh, ain't no lie, sweetheart!” Daryl shouted as he jostled the crossbow closer to Sarah's face. “Likes herself some rough, this one! Tried it with me n’ when I turned her ugly ass down she went after my brother! Goes around judging folks, makin’ fun of ‘em. When all the while, she’s lettin’ my brother search her for pocket change in the woods most nights!”

Glenn, who was sitting across the fire with wide eyes, sucked both of his lips into his mouth to stifle what would undoubtedly be a roar of laughter, not only at Daryl’s rage, but at his amusing choice of words.

“This is awkward” He pointed out.

“I know. It’s great.” T-dog added from beside him. He shuffled around on the spot, getting comfortable for the remainder of the show.

Andrea sprang forwards from where she was leaning against the RV, obviously feeling the need to intercept at the sound of such a crass topic.

“Daryl, that’s enough, there are children that can hear you.” She scolded as she stepped into the circle behind him. He lowered his crossbow and turned on his heels, locking her in a death glare.

“People out there eatin’ people!” He shouted as he raised his arms. His crossbow swung clumsily in his grip “Sluts fuckin’ rednecks all over the show but we better not say no bad words, huh?!" His neck flared red and veins protruded on his temples.

Sarah, who by now was completely mortified at the whole camp knowing about her night-time activities, slowly lifted her vision to Merle, who was still stood between Daryl and Rick. He began to laugh loudly to himself.

“Cats outta the bag, sugar! God damn!” He chuckles, throwing a wink her way. “No more squat thrusts in the pickle patch!”

She immediately got up and stomped off, leaving a collection of stunned faces. Jodie watched her depart, her face twisted with disgust.

“I ain’t doing nothin’ for none of y’all!” Daryl fumed, whirling around and swinging a pointed finger at them all. “Gonna look for Jess. Merle can hunt. I’m out”

With that, he threw his crossbow over his shoulder and scuffed out of the circle around the fire, off into the woods to set to work finding the girl that had managed to work her way so far into his heart that he wasn’t about to let her go without a fight.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5

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#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #daryl x oc #daryl fanfiction #twd fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead fanfiction

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XXVIII

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Forever Now

  Summary: You confront Tyler about his Instagram posts and it leads to the two of you into a long phone conversation. Eventually, the two of you make up and go to Chris and Karen’s “vow renewal”

  Warning: potential trigger warning, talk of rape/sexual assault, angst, fluff, talk of weddings, is a wedding/vow renewal a warning? -- i don’t know it’s there

  Author’s Note: I don’t know how many of y’all watched it but seeing Melissa and Jesse Blacker’s wedding video on Instagram and how adorable Tyler was is what inspired this chapter. So, if you haven’t watched it, go watch it. It’s beautifully done and incredibly sweet.

  P.S. I’m super stressed that I might cry so if I don’t post for two weeks it’s because I’m crazy busy and my brain doesn’t want to focus on anything other than the stress I have. Send me love, notes of encouragement, I love y’all. Keep reading and enjoying this fake life I’ve created 😂

  Song Credit: Forever Now -- Michael Bublé

  masterlist

  You had never listened so closely to Spittin’ Chiclets as you were, desperately trying to find the explanation of what the bat signal meant. You were so enraged that you often didn’t finish the episodes and went to Google instead. Then you turned to social media. Everything from Facebook to Twitter to Tumblr -- and none of it made you feel any better. You trusted him, or you thought you did, and you had been through this over and over again but it didn’t stop you from looking up his Instagram to see who he was following, if he had followed anyone new; you were turning into a psycho girlfriend which is why you desperately tried to reject his phone calls when his name popped up on your screen.

  “I miss you” he texted and you scoffed, still mad at the hopefully imaginary girls he was with

  “Babe… I need to see you…”

  “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…”

  “(Y/N)?”

  “Babe, you there?”

  “What’s wrong?” your eyes focused on his last text for a little while, contemplating telling him the truth about what you were thinking or just leaving it -- saying you weren’t in the mood or that you were heading to bed.

  “Did something happen? Are the dogs okay?”

  “Are the dogs okay?!” you finally typed with furious fingers

  “There you are! What’s up, why weren’t you answering me?”

  “Who do you want to know you’re in Vegas, Tyler?”

  “What?”

  “Who’s the ‘bat signal’ for this time?”

  “Bat signal? What are you talking about?”

  “Oh I’m sorry. Should I call it a Pussy Flare?” When he didn’t reply right away, you thought that would be the end of it. At least for tonight. But his stupid face appeared on your screen and you couldn’t just not answer him, so you answered him the only way you could think of right now, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Too bad, we’re gonna talk,” he snapped back, “there is no bat signal, there is no pussy flare. Stop listening to Biz.”

  “Real comforting, Ty..” you chided

  “(Y/N) STOP! I’m not doing this again!” he yelled, forcing you to pull the phone away from your ear for a second, “those stories are out of habit. You really think I have time to find some chick to hook up with while we’re on the road?”

  “YES TYLER! I THINK YOU HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO FIND A GIRL TO FUCK FOR FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU GO TO THE RINK FOR TWO HOURS!” you practically lost your mind, and your voice, yelling at him

  “I didn’t mean it like that babe, it came out wrong…”

  “How many were there?” you asked plainly and the line was silent for too long

  “What?” he said faintly

  “How many girls were there before me? Who saw your stories and DM’d you. Who you told where to find you or who you asked where they were?” your voice was steady but you felt like your body was crumbling, “how long has this been your way of filling the emptiness inside you?” As soon as they left your mouth, you felt the pain of your own words and you wanted to apologize, say you didn’t mean them, but Tyler spoke first.

  “I was single! It’s not like I had anyone to tell me not to do it or that I was being an idiot. The person I was in love with was too busy being played by an arrogant son of a bitch to notice any pain I was in!” he yelled and you clenched your jaw, pacing back and forth in your living room, “so, sure, I had sex with some girls when I was on the road. It’s not like I did anything wrong. I had every right to answer those messages and talk to those girls…”

  “Had or have?”

  “Had, smart ass, I’m dating you. I live with you. I love you. I don’t want some random girl throwing herself at me because I posted a story on Instagram about where the team will be. I don’t need that attention from anyone but you…”

  “Then why post those fucking stories anyway?” you continued, “everyone knows what it is Ty! Everyone who follows you, follows Biz or vice versa. They’ve all heard what he said, what those guys have said about those posts”

  “BUT I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING!”

  “SO WHAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH NOT POSTING THEM?”

  “I TOLD YOU IT’S OUT OF HABIT”

  “YOU CAN BREAK A FUCKING HABIT!”

  “Why do I need to stop?” he wasn’t yelling anymore but his voice was stern, “why does it have to be just me? Why don’t you relax on some of your posts too?”

  “My posts? What the fuck does that mean? What posts have I made that signal some kind of ‘my boyfriend’s out of town, let’s fuck tonight’ vibe?” you mocked, scoffing when you finished your question

  “Maybe all the ones where you’re in the tub. Showing just enough of you leg for everyone to know that you’re naked…”

  “I’m not going to bathe fully clothed Tyler…”

  “You don’t have to show your body like that (Y/N)”

  “What the fuck is this? Fifty Shades of Grey? Are you trying to tell me to only be sexy with you? Seriously?”

  “You control me, I control you right back”

  “CONTROL?! I’m not controlling you Tyler! I’m saying that these particular stories are giving out very clear ideas to the girls in those cities that you’re.. available. And I’d kinda like that to not be the case!” This back and forth went on for another hour and then when both of you came to an agreement, you talked like normal, rational human beings for the rest of the night -- you explained that you were always going to be this way but it didn’t stop you from loving him as much as you did, even though it might drive you both to drink. He explained that he was always going to have a reputation that he couldn’t escape but you knew that about him and you knew who he really was so he was always going to love you. No matter how crazy you got.

  “I just want us to work so badly. I want us to be happy and have a solid relationship…” you sighed, fidgeting with the blanket laying over your knees as you held your phone between your neck and your shoulder

  “We do. We just get a little heated sometimes…” he laughed, “which is not a bad thing. I’ve seen it happen to the best couples. We just might need to learn how to handle our heat differently.. Not blow up at each other so much…”

  “You’re the first person I’ve trusted in a while, Ty, and I think that might scare me a little. I’ve always had to be a little guarded since James turned out to be who he was…”

  “I’m not him, love, I wouldn’t do that to you…”

  “I know, It’s just something I have to deal with still..” you paused, “is that okay?”

  “Of course it’s okay, babe. I will always be here for you. Whether you have stuff to deal with or you have a lot of free time on your hands…”

  “I love you” you said, smiling and leaning your head back against the couch as Cash jumped up on the couch beside you

  “I love you too”

  “Get home as soon as you can! Leave the team early if you have to. Get a private plane if necessary” he smiled and you could picture his dimples, and the way he dropped his head when he laughed shyly

  “I’ll do my best, babe. You should get some sleep, so should I. It’s after 1 AM here, which means it’s what 11 there?”

  “Yeah… 11:15pm is what the clock says” you giggled

  “Alright, well get some sleep. Dream of me, think of me, send me nudes..” he jokingly whispered the last part and you laughed back, repeating what he texted you at the beginning of all this

  “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…”

  You had gotten very busy, so busy that you hadn’t realized that Chris and Karen’s anniversary had practically come and gone until you got a text from him, saying they’d love for you and Tyler to come to their wedding.

  “You’re already married…”

  “We’re renewing our vows and having a big party”

  “That’s so sweet”

  “So.. do you think you’ll come back?”

  “I can take time off of work but Ty’s schedule is pretty set with games and road trips and everything. I can ask but I think you should just expect me lol..”

  “I’m sure he’d make time”

  “Of course he would but it’s not really up to him.” Chris had become quite fond of Tyler after a small period of caution of James; he felt like you jumped in too quickly but Tyler was treating you right, so Chris got over himself because he saw how happy you were. It was the same for Tyler, he loved spending time with Chris when he’d pop down to Dallas or when he had time in Calgary for lunch or dinner and he was always respectful of yours and Chris’ relationship -- understanding that Chris’ opinion would always matter more to you than anyone else’s. So, you could imagine that Tyler would want to go to the vow renewal and if he couldn’t go, he’d be pretty bummed but the team’s schedule kinda claimed Tyler from you.

  “Let me talk to him” Chris sent a quick text to you and you laughed

  “I can talk to him, he’s back in Dallas tomorrow to play Vegas but I’ll talk to him..”

  “I might be able to work something out with him though”

  “Chris…”

  “Yes?”

  “If it doesn’t happen, don’t be disappointed. You’ll still see me…”

  “Okay” you giggled before signing off and carrying on with your day. When Tyler got back into town, he practically broke down the door

  “OKAY! SO HERE’S WHAT’S UP!” he shouted at you and you laughed hesitantly, “the team will be in Calgary on the 27th, Chris and Karen have their renewal thing on the 26th. We’ll be in Winnipeg on the 25th so, I might be late, but I can meet you there. And we can celebrate with them before we win on Wednesday…”

  “Whoa, calm down babe” you laughed, trying to catch your own breath as he ran through his words

  “You don’t want to go?”

  “Of course I do, but you’re doing an awful lot of rushing around to make this work. Don’t you need a little bit of rest?”

  “Nah,” he smiled, “I’ll sleep on the plane…” You walked up to him to give him a hug, thinking he’d pull you close, but he was practically vibrating with excitement and wouldn’t hold still

  “Ty, baby, relax,” you giggled, “if you really think that you’ll be okay to meet me there, then I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t go…”

  “Great! Then, we’re set. What do you wear to a Vow Renewal?” he asked and you shook your head, not really thinking he had anything to worry about

  “I mean you just have to wear a suit, not a tux, it’s nothing fancy..”

  “What are you gonna wear?”

  “I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet…”

  “Of course, you’ll look great no matter what” you stared at him for a second, very much taken aback by this entire exchange

  “I don’t get it…” you questioned, “I mean I get that you love Chris and Karen, that you and Chris have become super close, but what’s the big deal about a small Vow Renewal in Calgary? Why get so worked up about it?”

  “I’m in a love kind of mood babe,” he grinned, leaning in to plant a kiss to your forehead, “deal with it.” All you could do was laugh at him and follow his lead, dancing with him absentmindedly when he grabbed your hand to twirl you around; you couldn’t deny the fact that seeing him this happy made your heart happy and that brought a smile to your face that you couldn’t, and wouldn’t, hide.

  “Well you’re lucky,” you teased, “because I love you and I’m a sucker for love…”

  “I love you too” he smirked before continuing to spin you around. Eventually, the two of you made your way to the couch to watch a movie -- arguing playfully over whether Old School or The Duff would win the vote tonight.

  “You always choose the movie. Come on The Duff is great!” you tried to make your case, “it’s funny, it’s got drama and heart. It’s got great acting…”

  “Yeah, but.. Will Ferrell” was his only rebuttal and you laughed

  “I think my Will Ferrell kick is over, sorry babe” he faked arguing a little more before selecting the movie and you cuddled up next to him.

  “What if I asked you to marry me?” he asked and you popped your head up, “at the renewal thing?”

  “Uhm.. what?” your eyes went wide

  “I’m not saying I’m going to, I’m just asking what if..?”

  “What if the sky was green and the grass was blue?” you mumbled

  “What?”

  “Why are you asking this kind of what if,” you paused, “why not a different one. Why not what if we just took off and left this life behind?”

  “Because we both know neither of us can do that…”

  “But we can get married?”

  “Absolutely!”

  “Tyler stop” you readjusted your head back onto his chest

  “Is it really that crazy?”

  “Yes,” you played with the hem of his shirt as you spoke, “and it’s not you…”

  “What do you mean? It’s me asking, isn’t it?”

  “You don’t want to get married, like you said, you’re just in a mood”

  “I’m not going to ask you to marry me, I know we’re not ready,” he calmed you, “but I do want to get married. Seeing Jesse and Amanda, Chris and Karen, all so happy makes me think that there’s nothing better than that kind of relationship. And you make me that kind of happy, so yeah, eventually I might wanna propose to you. And I guess I just wanted your opinion on it…”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, Segs…”

  “I guess we will.”

  You decided to leave Dallas on the 23rd to spend some more time around Calgary before the Vow Renewal; you were excited but for some reason when the plane touched down, you felt an overwhelming sense of caution. As if your body knew something your brain didn’t.

  “Hey sis! I’m just heading over the store to get some groceries and then I’ll be at your place, you need anything?” you texted Lucy

  “Maybe get some Prosecco and we’ll celebrate!”

  “Sounds like a plan to me!” You roamed around the grocery store for a few more minutes before checking out and heading over to the liquor store. You grabbed a few bottles of Rosé just in case your sister didn’t like the Prosecco you picked when you heard a familiar voice

  “I think that this one is really nice! It’s sweet and simple, it’s not complicated. Like us…” You peeked your eyes around the corner of the aisle and tried to immediately retract it before they saw you but it was too late. “(Y/N)?”

  “James! Freddy!” you exclaimed in fake surprise, “what are you two doing here?”

  “We could ask you that same question… don’t you like live in Dallas now?” James fired back

  “I do, yeah..” you faltered slightly when you saw Freddy move in closer to your ex-boyfriend, “uhm, but I’m just here for Chris and Karen’s Vow Renewal thing on Tuesday. Just thought I’d stock up…”

  “Ah, yeah, right the renewal” he mumbled as you continued holding your bottles by the side of your face like a moron, bringing them down quickly before Freddy answered for James

  “We’re kind of stocking up as well…”

  “You two.. were in... I mean both… that’s great..” you stammered but grabbed your stuff to make a run for it.

  “Yeah, Chris invited us,” Freddy’s voice chimed and you could feel your blood start to boil, “he’s so wonderful, isn’t he James?” James nodded frantically but caught your gaze

  “(Y/N)...”

  “I mean we’re practically family aren’t we baby?” she cooed

  “You’re not though are you?” you snapped, fuck, you thought to yourself, why does she get to you so much?

  “Excuse me?” Freddy asked, holding her chest in artificial shock

  “You heard me just fine, Princess,” you argued, “you’re not his family. James isn’t even his family. I don’t know why either of them have kept you in their lives after what you did!”

  “HEY!” Freddy took a step toward you, anger clearly marking her features, “he was trying to be the best boyfriend he could to you, after what happened that night and you were the one who pushed him away. That’s not on him, that’s on you! So, don’t for a second think that you can take away the few people that care about him just because you’re pissed at your own mistakes!”

  “I’m sorry what?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest and adjusted your stance. He told her. He told his mistress about the night you got raped and he somehow made himself into the victim. What a fucking bastard!

  “(Y/N).. just let me explain…” James tried but you just shook your head and began walking away, “I told you I was in pain and you didn’t listen!”

  “I heard you, James, I heard you every time you said you were in pain. Every time you said you wanted to talk about it. Every time you said that you felt like I was blaming you. Every time you brought it up, I HEARD YOU!” you yelled silently as you marched through the store to the counter to purchase your items, “I get it. But let me explain something to you. It was my story, my experience, my awful night that I didn’t want anyone, who didn’t already know about it, to hear about. It wasn’t your right to find a girl to sleep with behind my back and come to the conclusion that she’d be able to keep all of your bad things and take your pain away. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MY PAIN!”

  “(Y/N)... I’m sorry okay…”

  “Thank you,” you said to the cashier and then turned away to walk out of the store, ranting one last thing to James and his concubine, “it doesn’t matter anymore James. You don’t have to be sorry. We’ve both moved on. We don’t owe each other anything, we haven’t for a long time. I just thought you would’ve had the decency, the common sense, to understand that this was not something you just tell someone…” You got into your car, put the keys in the ignition and drove off as furiously as you could.

  It was Vow Renewal Day. And Chris and Karen looked as blissful as ever. You walked around, making sure everything was neat and tidy and generally where it was supposed to be. When you heard giggling coming from one of the rooms, you went to tell your cousins to come to the ballroom and find their seats. But of course, you found Tyler making funny faces at the kids and telling jokes they didn’t understand.

  “Hey baby,” he greeted you from the floor and you walked over to him and the kids, “you look gorgeous!” He stood up just as you got to him and pulled you close

  “Thank you, you clean up pretty nice yourself…” you smiled at him but before you could press your lips to his, you heard giggles coming from your feet, “alright then, we better get going… don’t wanna miss a wedding now do we?”

  “No, Ma’am!” Tyler joked and the kids laughed brightly. You both followed them out of the room and then roamed around to find your seats.

  “You really do look beautiful you know” Tyler nudged your shoulder and pulled you in for a small kiss

  “Thank you, babe,” you replied, “I missed you.” The ceremony was quick and sweet, exactly like you’d expected it to be and the entire group was led to the rooftop for the reception and that’s where things really started to get exciting. Dancing, drinking, jokes, stories, all kinds of speeches. Every drama that was in head was suddenly forgotten when you saw the happiness on everyone’s face.

  And then he spoke…

  “Hello.. Hi everyone. Thanks for letting me get up and say a few words Chris, you know, I’m not very good at this. I probably should be but I’m not,” the group laughed just as Tyler did, signalling it was okay for him to continue, “I haven’t known Karen or Chris very long. But I see what kind of person Chris is everyday when I look at (Y/N). He raised her and her sister, Lucy. They’ve become such amazing people, through the adversity they’ve had to face, and they couldn’t have done it without Chris. Karen, see now Karen has had her work cut out for her from the start. (Y/N) was very wary of this relationship, this marriage, because it happened so suddenly. She wanted to protect the only Father she had, so Karen had to prove to (Y/N) that hurting Chris was the last thing on her mind. And, honestly, I commend her for it. Because anyone who knows (Y/N), or Lucy for that matter, can attest to their unending protection of their precious Christopher. No but in all seriousness, watching the two of you together has proven to me something that I’ve only seen from a handful of people. That love exists and that it can last. So, let’s all raise o--”

  “Oh no!” you covered your laugh as you watched Tyler try to recover from breaking his champagne flute, “oh my love…” you whispered to yourself while giving him a sad look and he just shrugged his shoulders and continued

  “Well it couldn’t all go off without a hitch could it?” he joked, “let’s raise our glasses to Chris and Karen. May the next five years of your marriage be as successful as these last five!”

  “That was so great babe!” you said when he finally came back to you, “even breaking the glass…”

  “Ha ha”

  “No I’m serious, it was beautiful. The whole thing. I think I cried…”

  “You did?” he raised his eyebrows at you

  “Maybe a little…”

  “Well, I got to you and that’s all I needed so I’m good!” You wrapped your arms around his waist and held onto him for a while before he was bombarded from the kids he was joking with earlier

  “Tyler! Tyler! Play with us!” the little boy spoke

  “I don’t know Colton, I’m a little busy right now” Tyler winked at you and then looked back at Colton

  “No you’re not!” Chris’ niece, Allison, shouted, making you and Tyler let out a playful laugh

  “We want to play!! We’re bored…” one of the other boys spoke and you tilted your head toward Tyler to gauge his response. He knelt down to be eye level with them and then you saw his eyes go toward the dancefloor

  “Why don’t we dance?” you could hear his smile and you watched the mixed expressions on the kids faces

  “Dance? Why?” Allison whined

  “You don’t wanna dance with me?” Tyler frowned

  “Can we dance with her?” Colton and the other boy whispered to Tyler, who looked back at you to see your answer. You leaned over, because kneeling wasn’t an option in the outfit you were in, and told the boys you’d love to dance with them but only if Tyler could dance with the girls. They, of course, agreed and the group of you went out to dance. You watched Tyler lead the little girls in front of him while the little boys directed you where they thought you should be, making you laugh to yourself. The music changed from the Y.M.C.A to the Macarena to the Cha Cha Slide to Meant to Be, you and Tyler dancing with the kids to every song that came on. When Forever Now came across the speakers, you felt a hand on the small of your back and Tyler whispered in your ear when the kids heads were turned

  “Thinkin’ ‘bout marrying me yet?” you shook your head and smiled before turning around to face him

  “You’re cute…” your arms snaked around his shoulders with your fingers tangling in his hair

  “That’s not a no...” he smiled at you, his eyes dancing between yours

  “Just dance with me for now.”

  “I can do that” he said sweetly as he kissed your forehead and you fell into complete bliss with him.

#Tyler Seguin #Tyler Seguin Fluff #Tyler Seguin Imagine #NHL #NHL Fluff #nhl imagine #Tyler Seguin Series #masterlist #It Had To Be You #It Had To Be You series

[aliencowboyqueen]

Did you want 2,000 words on Alex, Michael and Kyle in Caulfield?

I'm supposed to be writing a fic but instead I lost myself in an analysis of the Caulfield plot. If you don't want to read all 2,000 words of it, it boils down to: I love Kyle Valenti and everything hurts. If you do want the full course, keep reading.

I have such intense love for the entire Caulfield plot. Alex, Michael, and Kyle all have a deeply personal stake in this operation – not one of them is there just to provide a helping hand – and I love that. And I love their dynamics and everything about what these three characters go through, each on their own as well as in relation to the other two, in this episode.

I appreciate that Michael calls Kyle out on his high school behaviour. He is not even talking to Kyle in that moment, he is calling out Alex on being willing to cooperate with him after all that. And I like the way Alex dismisses this topic. He doesn’t try to make excuses for Kyle, he doesn’t give him a cookie for having improved. He doesn’t try to pacify Michael. He simply redirects the conversation towards their mission. He has not forgotten; it simply isn’t relevant right now.

We learn a little fun titbit about Kyle: he references pop/nerdy culture without any deeper knowledge of it. He confuses Star Wars and Star Trek and I wonder if he has any actual knowledge about X-Men or if he only knows what Magneto does. Alex’s horrified expression is priceless. Kyle Valenti is not perfect even in the present day! Who’d have thought?

That little moment when Alex makes sure Michael is actually ready for this mission. I don’t think he expects him to back out, but he is giving him that option just in case.

You know what else I love? Alex is managing this operation and Kyle respects it fully. When Alex says to do something, he does it, because he knows Alex knows what he is doing. This is Alex’s sphere of expertise and he knows it, and he trusts his decisions. If they were performing a surgery, I have no doubt he’d expect Alex to follow his instructions, but in this situation, Alex is the one with the training and the experience and the plan. There is only one moment where we see him give Alex a questioning look – when Alex says you can’t just give someone a brain tumor. I’d say Kyle is actually hurt by that remark, because he is sure that his father was murdered and Alex is being dismissive about that. Other than that? Alex says jump and Kyle does.

Meanwhile, Michael’s first instinct is to protect Alex and I love that. But I also love that, in the “run towards the entrance” scene, he instantly catches up on the fact that Alex is in the one best suited to handle the situation. Alex is the one who can find out the best excuse to be there, being the one actually in the military, and the one best suited to handle it. Meanwhile, not one of them is in more danger than Michael. Michael accepts it. He realizes that sometimes, he can protect Alex, but sometimes it’s Alex’s turn to protect him.

TL;DR Michael and Kyle both respect Alex a lot. Please put that in contrast with his father and brother, who both treat him as weak and less than.

Quick thirst break to admire how hot Alex is in this episode. The moment he disarms Flint? UNF. And he also genuinely just looks great this episode; this hairstyle is wonderful on him.

Alex and Flint. It’s clear their relationship is complicated. We see Flint begrudgingly impressed by Alex disarming him. They don’t want to be on the opposing sides of this battle, but neither of them will budge. If it comes down to choosing between their respective ideologies or the other one’s well-being, one of them will be leaving in a body bag, but it’s clear neither of them wants it to get to that point (But then when it gets to that point, Flint tells Alex to get out). I wouldn’t go as far as to claim they love each other – there is clearly a lot of bad blood between them and Flint is the sort of Manes man Jesse Manes wants his son to be – but they are brothers and on some level, they care about each other. They know each other well, and their position within the family, and throughout the entire conversation they are exploiting their knowledge of each other in order to learn more about what the other one is up to. This was such a good choice, to have Alex converse with his brother rather than have the trio face only random soldiers. (Compare Alex and Flint’s conversation to Kyle’s conversation with the random soldier.)

“Will it feed my Beagle?” Can we see the beagle? Please?

“What does he have on you?” Season 2 better deliver, I’m intrigued.

“Oh spare me.” Alex Manes takes no one’s bullshit.

It was interesting to watch Kyle and Michael. We see them butt heads at every turn. They challenge and question each other every step of the way. Kyle is clearly uncertain regarding Michael’s psychic connection to the other aliens – he can’t see the effects of it, for all he knows Michael has no idea what he is doing. And Michael won’t let Kyle take credit for decoding the letters – there is a very strong emphasis on that “and” in “Alex and you, uh?”

But then the holding area. The contrast between Michael and Kyle there. Michael’s angry and broken “They are like me.” Kyle using clinical words to analyse the situation because that’s how he processes and understands it, but his expression is horrified, he feels compassion for these people. Michael’s direct and plain label of “torture” and his desperate need to save these people, Kyle’s understanding that they don’t have the capacity to do that right there and then. “And bring them where? They are feral,” you can tell he doesn’t like having to say it. He is turning Michael down, but he is no longer hostile. I really love the acting and directing choices there because the lines themselves? (“And bring them where? They are feral.” “Hey! Guerin?” “Are you sure?”) They could be shouted, they could be said through his teeth, they could be impatient. Instead, they sound concerned. From the moment Michael says “They are like me,” Kyle takes an entirely different tone with him. Kyle realizes that no matter how he is feeling, Michael is feeling worse.

The way Michael says “I know her.” Like his brain is so busy processing this situation that he has forgotten how words work. Is he telling this to Kyle? Or just to himself? There is so much feeling. Someone give Vlamis an Emmy.

Someone is approaching and there is not a moment of hesitation for Kyle. They are in an alien torture facility and Michael is an alien. Kyle could get in trouble if his cover story fails but it’d be incomparably worse for Michael. Michael might not be his favorite person in the world, but Kyle is going to make sure he is not dissected by creepy soldiers.

Kyle’s expression during the “Any human ever go there?” “Once” conversation. He thinks: I was right, my father WAS murdered. And then he looks at this old, sad, broken, tortured, isolated alien. And Kyle’s world shatters to pieces. The expression on his face breaks me. It especially breaks me on repeat viewing after having heard his later dialogue. Because it’s not an “I have my answers and can have my justice” expression. It’s: “My hero might have been a monster.”

“Then he deserved it.” First, I don’t think I’ve ever loved a character more than I love Kyle in that moment. Kyle loved and admired his father. But if he has to choose between compassion for cruelly-treated strangers and his love for his father? Kyle is not going to excuse torture and genocide. And Alex’s expression in that second. I think that for a moment, despite all the words coming out of Kyle’s mouth, Alex thought he is going to lose his support. You can see the crease between his brows, the way he is not looking at Kyle, he is getting ready for the alternative that he is going to have to fight Kyle, too. But then Kyle says that. And Alex’s expression is surprise but… it’s also concern. Tyler is such an amazing actor. That one look says “Wow, I can actually count on you, we have the same moral code, I can trust you, we are on the same side” but also “Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?” Because that was broken and ruthless and Alex understands Kyle’s world just fell apart and Alex sees that he is ready to burn the remnants of it to ash. And remember, Jim Valenti was a father figure to Alex, too.

God, I feel so devastated for Michael, knowing that it was his attempt to free his mother that triggered the self-destruction of the facility. I need someone to let him know that it wasn’t his fault. It WASN’T. Because I’m sure he will feel guilty but the only people to blame are the ones who created this torture institution. I need someone to make sure he knows that.

“But make sure you get out.” Something about this line Alex says to Kyle feels important. It might be: “This is important to us both, but it’s more important that you live through this.” I’m not fully confident in my reading of it, but to me this line is both “I want this mission to yield some results, but I want you to get out safe more” and “I know that right now, you might not care to keep yourself safe. Do get out.”

I love that Alex doesn’t need to ask Kyle about Michael. Not only that, but when it seems like he is going to run blindly into the building, Kyle stops him and with no prompting at all, he gives Alex specific directions. Alex isn’t asking because in his experience it’s him and Michael against the world, the two of them on their own. It’s up to him alone to get Michael out. But Kyle knows Alex is going to look for him and he doesn’t want Alex wandering aimlessly around the facility and he wants Michael to get out, too. He says those directions in the same tone as Alex uses to say “But make sure you get out.”

I’m not going to go into That Scene because That Scene deserves a better-worded 2,000 word essay all of its own. If I could get a gif set tattooed, I’d get this scene.

Michael pulling Alex behind the vehicle, my heart.

Please don’t ask me why Michael is then left alone. I continue to be baffled.

It gives us the conversation between Kyle and Alex, however, and I’m grateful for that one. The message of it is important, but I think it’s also important in regards to the characterisation. We see that Kyle is trying to process things – Kyle wants to be on the right side of things, but he also needs to be certain what the right side is. And Alex has already made his choice and now we have it confirmed that it’s not only about Michael. I never thought it was only about Michael, but now it’s clear: Alex has deep regrets about his military career, it has affected him more than he’s been letting on, and he is never again going to let someone tell him what’s right and point him towards a target and tell him to shoot. He is never going into anything blind again.

And I hope that Kyle trusts Alex’s words, and his own instinctive understanding of who the vulnerable party truly was, more than he trusts his doubts.

#roswell new mexico #roswell nm #alex manes #michael guerin #kyle valenti #roswellnm #roswell spoilers #malex #caulfield plot

[bamby0304]

Her Saviours- Ch.4

Series Masterlist

Bamby’s Masterlist

Summary: During an odd case, the Winchesters came across Y/N, a scared young Omega girl who had been used as a lure for a nest of vampires. After rescuing her from the monsters, John and his sons took her in knowing she was in no state to live among ordinary people. But three Alphas and one Omega is a mixture bound for disaster.

Warnings: ABO dynamics. Angst. Fluff. Heat.

Bamby

You were sitting in the back of the Impala, behind Dean. Normally- if it were you, John and Dean in the car- you’d be in the middle, so you could look out the front. But since Sam had joined you and his brother you’d been trying to keep your distance.

Sam was dealing… but not well. The three of you had spent nearly a whole week looking for leads, but Jess’ killer was long gone. That left a hole in the younger Winchester’s chest, and a weight on your shoulders.

With a gasp, Sam suddenly sat up, waking from yet another nightmare.

You flinched, pressing yourself against the door as you watched him. Keeping your distance had resulted in you being extra jumpy… which hadn’t gone unnoticed.

Dean glanced at you through the rear view mirror before turning his attention to his brother. “You okay?”

Turning to look out the window, Sam answered shortly, “Yeah, I'm fine.”

He wasn’t and you all knew it.

Nodding, Dean looked to the road once more. “Another nightmare?” When Sam just cleared his throat, Dean tried something else. “You wanna drive for a while?”

Sam laughed. Hell, you were shocked.

“Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that,” Sam noted.

“Just thought you might want to.” Dean shrugged. “Never mind.”

“Look, man, you're worried about me. Both of you,” Sam added offhandedly without giving you a single glance. “I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay.”

“Mm-hm.” Even though you couldn’t see his face, you were sure Dean rolled his eyes.

Moving on, Sam grabbed the map. “All right, where are we?”

“We are just outside of Grand Junction.”

Sighing, Sam shook his head, still looking down at the map. “You know what? Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon.”

You sunk further down into your seat.

Losing Jess was hard for Sam and you would forever understand that. She was his girlfriend, he loved her, that was rare in the life of someone such as Sam. Winchesters didn’t get a lot of happiness, so to have Jess was like finding the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Now he was glum and gloomy, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were making it worse.

“Sam, we dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica-”

“We gotta find Dad first,” Sam noted, finishing his brother’s sentence.

“Dad disappearing and this thing showing up again after twenty years, it's no coincidence. Dad will have answers. He'll know what to do,” Dean assured him.

John’s absence was digging away at you. The last week had ebbed at your relationship with Dean. While he tried to get close to you, to comfort you the way you needed to be comforted, he also understood that it wasn’t exactly appropriate now that his brother was around. Now that Sam was hurting with his own loss.

So, not only was John gone, but you didn’t have Dean the way you needed either. The Omega in you didn’t know how to process… hence the jumpy behaviour.

“It's weird, man,” Sam started. “These coordinates he left us. This Blackwater Ridge.”

Dean glanced over at him. “What about it?”

“There's nothing there. It's just woods.” Sam dropped the map, frowning, confused. “Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?”

You didn’t have an answer, but you prayed John would be able to explain everything as soon as you found him at Blackwater Ridge.

“So Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote,” Sam noted as the three of you moved about the ranger station. “It's cut off by these canyons here, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place.”

“Dude, check out the size of this freaking bear.” Dean gestured to a picture of a giant bear hanging on the wall.

Bears didn’t scare you. Not after the crap you’d been through. No, what scared you were the monsters the Winchesters hunted. But it wasn’t the kind of fear that made you want to hide behind them. It was the kind of fear that made you want to fight back.

Your fight or flight instincts weighed heavily on the fight side.

Sam came to stand on Dean’s other side with a sigh. “And a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It's no nature hike, that's for sure.”

“You three aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?” a man asked ‘causing you, Dean and Sam to spin around and face him.

It was the Ranger, you know that in an instant.

“Oh, no, sir, we're environmental study majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper,” Sam told him, laughing lightly.

Dean grinned, raising a fist in the air. “Recycle, man.”

“Bull.” The Ranger wasn’t buying what the brothers were selling, apparently. “You're friends with that Haley girl, right?”

Pausing a moment, Dean considered his options before nodding. “Yes. Yes, we are, Ranger…” he faltered a moment, reading the Ranger’s name tag, “Wilkinson.”

“Well I will tell you exactly what we told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn't be back from Blackwater until the twenty-fourth, so it's not exactly a missing persons now, is it?” the Ranger asked, and Dean quickly shook his head in response. “You tell that girl to quit worrying, I'm sure her brother's just fine.”

“We will,” Dean assured him. As the Ranger started to leave, Dean called out again. “Well that Haley girl's quite a pistol, huh?”

The Ranger paused to turn to him again. “That is putting it mildly.”

With the Ranger’s attention caught, Dean stepped forward and went on, “Actually you know what would help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit. You know, so she could see her brother's return date.”

As you, Dean and Sam left the Ranger station Dean chuckled, tucking the permit into his jacket pocket.

Sam watching, shaking his head at his brother. “What, are you cruising for a hookup or something?”

You flinched in an instant.

Both brothers noticed your reaction but neither had the time to comment. You were already walking away, heading towards the Impala, sliding in without a word.

John was an asshole for leaving you behind. He should have known that Dean would go get Sam if he was gone for too long. He should have known the pain that would cause you. Add that to the pain of his absence… he was a goddamn asshole.

From where you sat in the car, you could still hear the brothers.

Ignoring you- for now- Dean turned to his brother again. “What do you mean?”

“The coordinates point to Blackwater Ridge, so what are we waiting for? Let's just go find Dad.” Sam started towards the car, Dean right behind him. “I mean, why even talk to this girl?”

“I don't know,” Dean stopped by the driver’s side door, “maybe we should know what we're walking into before we actually walk into it?” he noted.

There was a pause that hummed with tension. You could feel it as they both stood outside, looking at each other over the car’s roof. While you couldn’t see their faces you could imagine their shared but different  confusion.

“What?” the younger brother asked.

“Since when are you all ‘shoot first ask questions later’, anyway?”

“Since now,” Sam answered shortly before getting in the car.

“Oh really?” Dean slid into the car, a grin on his lips until he caught your gaze in the rear view mirror.

You looked away, eyes felling to the floor of the car. “Are you taking me to a motel now?”

Part of you hoped he would so you could wallow in bed and cry yourself to sleep. Nights had been hard on you lately. The silence that came with the dark just intensified your longing and loneliness. You could use a nap.

But then there was the other part of you that desperately wanted to cling to the only Alpha you had… even though he wasn’t really your Alpha.

Sam’s earlier comment, about Dean wanting to hook up with the chick… it stung. You hated the idea of him hooking up with other girls. Almost as much as you hated the thought of John doing the same. Dean was the only real constant you’d had. He’d always been there. You didn’t want to lose him to some other girl. Some other Omega.

Been there, done that.

“No,” he answered after a pause, turning the car on. “You shouldn’t be alone right now,” was all he said before all conversation was dropped.

Standing behind Sam and Dean as you neared the Collins’ house, you kept your gaze on the ground. You made sure to keep up and shut up. John had rarely let you join when it came to cases, but he’d drilled the rules into you nonetheless.

You were an Omega, it was odd for someone such as yourself to be a hunter. For one, you could rarely pose as the many disguises the Winchesters used. You’d never heard of an Omega cop let alone an FBI agent. Then there was the fact you were so young.

Most Omegas under the claiming age were either in school, college or living in group homes- for their safety. When they became of age they were allowed out into the world, they owned themselves… until they didn’t. You were of age, barely, so you could still get mistaken for someone younger. Either way, it was weird for you to be out and around Alphas.

John had insisted that if you were to go on hunts you wouldn’t do anything dangerous and you would stay out of the way.

Dean tried to keep you away from victims and their families, because he knew his father would kill him if he found out otherwise. He’d rarely seen you act this timid and… submissive. He didn’t like it.

“Hey.” The older Winchester stepped up to you, cupping your cheek to lift your face until your eyes met his. “He’s not here. You don’t have to act like that.”

“I’m an Omega,” you countered.

Shrugging, Dean stepped closer to you until he could press a chaste kiss to your lips. “You’re not his Omega,” he noted on a breath as he stepped back.

Your fate had not been sealed. You were not John’s, you were not Dean’s. In that moment, standing on the path leading to the Collins’ front door, you were your own person.

Giving him a shy smile, you nodded and let him lead you the rest of the way to the door. Sam stayed silent as he followed, but you felt his eyes on you. There was no time or point in commenting. You doubted he would even acknowledge you.

Lifting his hand, Dean knocked on the door.

A moment or so passed before the door opened, revealing a simple brunette Beta.

“You must be Haley Collins,” Dean started. “I'm Dean, this is Sam and Y/N, we're, ah, we're rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over. He wanted us to ask a few questions about your brother Tommy.”

Hesitating a moment, Haley looked to each of you before he gaze fell on Dean again. “Lemme see some ID.”

Without missing a beat, Dean pulled out a fake badge before holding it up against the screen of the door. He waited as she checked it out, trying to figure out if it was legit or not. Eventually she decided it was and opened the door.

“Come on in.”

“Thanks.” Dean smiled as he stepped closer.

Haley had to open the door a little more for the big Alphas, but stopped as she spotted something a little further away. “That yours?”

Dean turned to glance at his car before nodding back at Haley. “Yeah.”

She smiled. “Nice car.”

In that instant, you hated her.

“So if Tommy's not due back for a while, how do you know something's wrong?” Sam asked as he stood by the table across from you and Dean.

Haley walked back into the room, carrying a bowl of salad that she placed on the table in front of her younger brother. “He checks in every day by cell. He emails, photos, stupid little videos. We haven't heard anything in over three days now.”

“Well, maybe he can't get cell reception,” Sam countered.

Haley shook her head. “He's got a satellite phone, too.”

“Could it be he's just having fun and forgot to check in?”

“He wouldn't do that,” Ben- Haley’s younger brother- noted a little shortly. It was clear he was worried about his brother just like his sister was.

You stood close to Dean, keeping behind him ever so slightly. You didn’t want to be noticed, you didn’t want them to question the guys because you were an Omega. You just wanted to blend in as much as possible and listen.

“Our parents are gone,” Haley explained as she put more food on the table. “It's just my two brothers and me. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other.”

“Can I see the pictures he sent you?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.” Nodding, Haley started towards her laptop.

Sam followed while Dean stayed with you, reaching out to rest a hand on the small of your back. You listened to Haley as she showed Sam the pictures.

“That's Tommy.” She gestured to the screen.

Then you heard the recording of what you assumed was her brother. “Hey Haley, day six, we're still out near Blackwater Ridge. We're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, okay? Talk to you tomorrow.”

Something in Sam’s gaze caught your attention. As you watched him you couldn’t help but notice a short and quick frown that crossed his features as if he noticed something. But you didn’t comment, not when no one else seemed to see it.

“Well, we'll find your brother,” Dean assured her. “We're heading out to Blackwater Ridge first thing.”

“Then maybe I'll see you there.” Haley turned her attention to him. “Look, I can't sit around here anymore. So I hired a guy. I'm heading out in the morning, and I'm gonna find Tommy myself.”

“I think I know how you feel.”

You looked up at the way Dean was watching her and found your heart breaking a little. As you dropped your gaze to the floor Sam spoke.

“Hey, do you mind forwarding these to me?” He gestured to the computer.

Haley nodded. “Sure.”

Sitting at a table in a bar, you rolled the bottom of your beer around in circles as Sam and Dean talked about the case. You weren’t listening though. It was only a matter of time before they found a motel for the night and then left you there while they went out hunting.

Part of you still wanted that time alone so you could sulk, but you knew it wasn’t what you needed.

“Hey.” Dean nudged you with his elbow, making you look up at him. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you squeaked, lying through your teeth.

Looking between the two of you, Sam sighed, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He stood and left without another word.

The moment you two were alone Dean grabbed your chair and pulled it closer until your arm was brushing against his. He leaned in to rest his chin on you shoulder and press a pouty kiss to your cheek.

“Talk to me.”

You chuckled lightly, “Dean Winchester wants to talk about feelings.” You turned your head to him ever so slightly, “I thought you don’t do chick flick moments.”

“Do anything for you,” he countered.

Heart jumping in your chest, you couldn’t help but look at him wide eyed. He didn’t comment on your look or say anything else, but instead leaned in to catch your lips with his own, which only added fuel to your surprise.

When he pulled back he caught your gaze. “I worry about you. When Sam left you were a mess.” You lowered your gaze as the memories from that time came to you. “Now with Dad… and Sam being back… and I know I haven’t been able to help you-”

“Stop.” Reaching over, you pressed a finger to his lips to shut him up. “Don’t, okay? You’re just gonna make me feel worse.”

As your finger lowered from his lips Sam returned, sliding into his chair. You turned back to your bottle, rolling it around again. The brothers watched you for a second or so before giving up. You didn’t listen to their conversation, just focused on your bottle.

You’d insisted Sam and Dean leave you at the motel room while they went to talk to a witness from the last attacks. They had been gone for almost two hours when you felt a slight pang, and in an instant you knew what was happening. Your heat was coming.

There’s no way Dean is going to leave me here like this. He won’t go hunting if I’m in heat, you thought to yourself.

Dean was always adamant about staying close during your heats. You got them regularly, and bad. Every couple of months you were left in agonizing pain if you weren’t given what you needed. John was hardly around, Sam had left, Dean was willing to drop the world at your feet if he thought it would help.

But nothing would help. Not when you felt this lost and empty. He could only do so much, and with Sam around he could do even less. This was going to be a heat you were just going to have to grit through.

“Finding Dad's not enough?” The trunk of the Impala outside slammed. You jumped at you listened, hearing Sam’s voice. “Now we gotta babysit too?”

Fresh tears stung your eyes as you sat on the bed, legs pulled up to your chest. Your emotions, thoughts and memories had you sniffling on and off since the brothers had left you, but hearing Sam no made it all surface again. He didn’t want you here. According to him, you were dragging them down.

“What?” Sam asked.

There was a pause before Dean answered, “Nothing.”

A few short moments later you heard the key slide into the lock before the motel room door opened. Dean took one step inside, followed by his brother, before they froze. Eyes set on you, they could tell you’d been crying in an instant.

“I’m fine,” you lied, but there was no point.

Dean dumped the duffle bag he was carrying onto the floor and walked over to you. The concern in his eyes just made your heart clench.

He pulled you to him, cradling your head to his chest as you began to sob into his shirt. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re gonna find Dad and we’re gonna bring him back.”

Sam cautiously moved to the other bed, dumping his bag down. He watched you and his brother, a look of curiosity and slight concern in his eyes.

You just turned away from him, not wanting him to see you like this. You hated being vulnerable. You hated looking like a needy Omega.

“Tomorrow Sam and me are going out to find Dad and we’ll bring him back, okay?” Dean pulled back and lifted your face so you’d look at him. “I’m gonna take care of you, ‘Mega. I’ll do whatever it takes,” he promised.

Allowing a soft smile to creep onto your lips, you leaned in to give him a gentle kiss before curling up against his side again. Exhaustion won out soon enough, and before you knew it you were asleep.

“We’ll be back before dark,” Dean assured you as he packed some stuff for the hike.

You sat on the bed the two of you had shared last night, legs crossed in front of you as your fingers fiddled with the flannel you’d stolen from him.

In the middle of the night you’d woken and dragged Dean under the sheets of the bed. He let you cling to him like a koala. Words of comfort were murmured between gentle caresses and soft kisses. Nothing more happened considering Sam was in the next bed, but Dean made sure to give you what he knew you needed.

No one knew you the way Dean did.

“If shit hits the fan and you can’t reach us, call Bobby.”

Bobby Singer. He was like a father to you and the boys.

When John hadn’t been around you and Sam had been dumped at Bobby’s house more often than you’d liked at first. The Beta smelt like too much alcohol and stale books. He was grumpy and stubborn. He’d scared you, and being away from John and Dean had made it worse. But the old man had noticed your discomfort and acted accordingly.

Bobby treated you the way John probably should have. He would drop everything for you… and would kill the Winchesters if he found out your entire past with them.

Thinking of Bobby reminded you of the times you’d spent at his place with Sam. How the two of you would sit on the hood of cars on the yard and look up at the sky until clouds turned into stars. You’d had a crush on Sam long before anything had happened between the two of you.

“He doesn’t want me here, does he?”

“Hm?” Dean looked up from his bag to turn to you. “Who?”

“Sam.”

He looked to the closed bathroom door. Sam was currently showering, which left the two of you alone. “You know it’s not that simple,” he noted as his eyes fell back on you.

“It really is, Dean.”

Sighing, abandoning his things, he walked over to crouch in front of you and grab your hands. “Sammy just lost the girl he loves, and now he’s with the girl he used to love.”

“He didn’t love me,” you argued, ignoring the sting that came with his past tense comment.

He just chuckled lightly, watching his fingers as they played with yours. “Yeah, he did.”

“Then why’d he leave?”

“Because… it’s complicated.” He looked up to meet your gaze then. “I know you think he despises you, and I know you think you’re getting in the way, but stop. Sam cares about you, I see it. And you could never get in the way. I wouldn’t drag you around everywhere if I thought you’d slow us down.”

“You drag me around because I’m an Omega.”

He frowned then, looking a little offended. “You think I’m in this just for the sex? We both know I get that from other girls, too.” You flinched at the reminder that Dean wasn’t solely yours. “But you’re the person I come back to. You’re the one I care about.”

Despite your mood, you couldn’t help but smile. “I care about you, too.”

“Good.” Leaning up, he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Now cheer up. Sammy’s fine. Give him a couple more weeks.”

“Okay.” You gave a short nod, dropping your gaze back to your hands as he moved to continue to pack.

In no time at all, Sam walked in, dressed and ready for the hike. You watched him from the corner of your eye as he moved to grab his own thing which had been packed earlier. Sam had always been a morning person, and it seemed college life had only encouraged that nonsense. You preferred to sleep in… especially with Dean.

But your thoughts were far from those memories as you watched the younger brother. You were, instead, questioning whether or not Dean was right. Had Sam actually loved you once? If he did, then why did he leave? Why did he turn his back on his life, his family and on you?

“Okay, we’re going,” Dean announced, drawing your attention to him. Your head whipped around until you were watching as he headed towards you. “There is food in the fridge, please don’t leave unless you absolutely have to. Call Bobby if you have an emergency. And please, whatever you do-”

“Don’t answer the door to any strangers.” You gave a short nod. “I know the deal, Dean. It’s not my first rodeo.”

He chuckled. “I know, sweetheart.” Leaning in, he captured your lips in a soft kiss that lasted a little longer than you were expecting. “Be safe.”

“You too,” you breathed.

Then he was pulling back and walking out the door, Sam right behind him. But before the door closed Sam stopped and turned to you. Your eyes met and while no words were shared you could tell her was worried about you.

All you could offer was a reassuring smile. That’s all he seemed to need before he was leaving you alone, locking the door behind him.

Three hours later your heat hit…

Bamby

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