#there's just so much other stuff going on but tbf. i can probably cut some of it down

[samiferboy]

wrote a line in nyfic that I love dearly that would be in fucking.......chapter.....eighteen

#thats just a guess i have no idea how many chapters in this scene will happen #avery.txt #there's just so much other stuff going on but tbf. i can probably cut some of it down #i prrrrobably wont go into a ton of detail of what happens in new orleans #averywriting #nyfic

[frogblast-the-ventcore]

I've been having thoughts on Star Trek recently, and what I would do to make appeal to me more. Very few people will likely see this, but I wanted to get my thoughts out of my brain. I'm aware that many of the things I describe as issues come down to real-world factors (multiple writers, costuming, realities of being a show made by humans), but I'm choosing to ignore those.

My top 5 things that would improve Star Trek in my personal opinion. Under the cut. Stuck the one that's probably gonna be most controversial first, to get it out of the way.

1) make Starfleet more openly military inspired

This boils down to me finding stories with militaries in them, and military sci-fi, engaging. I would change three major things, and a lot of minor things.

The three big things are: give Starfleet an actual Marine Corps, give Starfleet an intelligence service (that actually has an onscreen presence), and give Starfleet space fighters. Two of those things solve some major issues the series has, the other is just fun, but all of them bring Starfleet much much more in line with modern navies. And Starfleet is a navy, it is a military. The series dances around it, but that's what they are, so they should drop the pretenses and say that's what they are.

The Marine Corps and intelligence service ideas fix big issues the series has had. Having actual Marines makes it so that Starfleet wouldn't be incompetent in ground battles, like we see in DS9 and other shows. Plus you could leverage the tech of the setting for some really cool kit. A semi-related point here is: stop waffling back and forth with the phasers to make them look not like weapons (the TNG era shows were really bad with this). Just make them have the general form factor of a modern pistol or an actual rifle with a stock. Stick with the later TNG era idea of the phasers firing pulses instead of beams, those just look better on screen. I know the series is about spaceships doing spaceship things, but an actual organized ground combat only makes sense. You cannot take on planets and win wars without putting boots on the ground to hold it.

For the intelligence service, it makes it much easier to have espionage style stories without making the main characters do everything. Real militaries don't have ship captains leave the ship to go do commando raids. Give Starfleet Intelligence (and Section 31 - we'll get to them) actual special forces units to do that stuff. Have them attached to the ship for specific missions, and follow the actual team on their mission, so we can see competent examples of special operations on the show. I want my Space Green Berets dammit.

For the space fighters, this is mostly just for rule of cool because any realistic phaser array would be instant death for fighter craft, but you can hand wave it away with an explanation that most main phaser arrays/disruptor cannons/what have you are not optimized to shoot at small fast targets like fighters and shuttles. This also allows for CIWS to come into play if the fighters are firing photon torpedoes/missiles at enemy capital ships. Pulse phaser based CIWS turrets are an awesome idea and would look very visually cool imo. Plus having a space fighter corps just adds the element of having more potential characters to examine, and makes for very cool set pieces (imagine a Star Trek version of BSG's Starbuck and Viper vs Raider battles for example).

The little things are things like, have the characters give salutes, have visible medals/award ribbons on dress uniforms (which tbf, the various series set earlier in the timeline actually do, I don't why they dropped this), have more military inspired jargon, naval traditions, songs, etc.

Finally, they really need to have a consistent uniform with nametags and POCKETS for God's sake; I would very much base the uniforms off of Star Trek Online's 2410 Odyssey uniforms, they're a truly excellent Star Trek uniform "family", and has distinct duty, dress, utility, medical, and admiralty uniforms that do a much better job of differentiating between specialist roles.

2) establish firmly that the Federation is socialist, not communist

This is more me getting annoyed at pop culture meme-ification of the Federation, but I want explicit mention of the Federation being socialist, in the sense of a middle ground between capitalism and communism.

I'd start by making it expressly clear that the Federation as a whole has a currency. Call it whatever (credit was used a few times). Have it based on a non-physical abstract value (say something like energy usage for a replicator). But have it exist. Have a form of physical currency of some form for purposes of trade with other interstellar nations as well. Sure, by all means, have Earth itself be a utopia where a combination of Federation social safety net policies and similar United Earth-specific policies make it so no one needs currency to live *on Earth*, but having an entire interstellar civilization have no money makes no sense.

Adding to that, I want an actual explanation of the social safety nets that the Federation provides. What does a life on nothing but the bare minimum standard of living in the Federation look like. I would wager it's very good by our standards, but not by theirs; an exploration of how those values and expectations have changed would be cool.

Next, have corporations be a thing that gets explored. Have some be state-owned, have some be private owned. We already have examples of corporations and such in canon (Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems for example), but no idea what that looks like. I think exploring what the Federation's economy looks like under an interstellar system of democratic socialism would make for interesting stories. Not to mention, just based on the interstellar scale of the Federation, there would definitely be the equivalent of megacorporations, and exploring what a megacorporation would look like in a socialist environment would be interesting in my opinion.

3) add more grey morality and move away from "people are perfect, the Federation is perfect"

To Trek's credit, it has started to do this in more recent entries, and ofc DS9 made it clear that the Federation was not a perfect utopia, I just want more of these things. Section 31 ties into this. I don't honestly mind that they exist. Every other interstellar polity in Trek has a shadowy organization like Section 31. Not having one may be a good moral statement on the part of the Federation, but makes no practical sense. Have them be a subunit of the larger Starfleet or Federation intelligence community, make it so they're under extreme scrutiny and oversight after what happened in DS9, but the Federation needs an organization to counter things like the Obsidian Order and the Tal Shiar.

4) make the series sexier/more appealing to monsterfuckers, and showcase more nonhumanoid aliens in general

This one is very much personal to me, but I'm pretty tired of having only the most human-looking aliens be the ones that get the romantic attention. Give me Star Trek Online style Tzenkethi, have species like Tholians be acknowledged as just as attractive as a human, have species that aren't just "human with makeup" be a part of Starfleet crews, show us what adaptations for those non-humanoid body plans/life support needs would be like. And have somebody fuck a Gorn already.

5) explore topics the series has shied away from

I want to explore things that the series either left unexplored, hinted at, deemphasized, or dropped.

A big one of these is religion within Starfleet, and specifically human religion. I find it not very believable that human religion would have gone away after contact with aliens, especially considering real world discussions and decrees from human religions on this subject. In addition, we mostly see alien religions as something either practiced in isolation from others (even of their own kind), or as something shown in a more negative light. Regarding it's place in Starfleet, the original series had a chapel onboard the Enterprise. I would add those back to Starfleet ships (at least ones big enough for them), and have actual chaplains onboard alongside counselors to handle religious matters.

Another thing to explore is interspecies relationships. This one is something that does come up in Trek, but not often, and how it's handled is inconsistent in my eyes. I want more of this, and more of it involving characters that aren't human.

Semi-related, a society like the Federation, that has come into contact with species like the Denobulans (for example), would very likely have a much more liberal interpretation of what constitutes an acceptable relationship - we ought to see more romantic relationships, family dynamics, and friendships, that are beyond our own modern human norm, and these sorts of relationships should be afforded the same level of respect.

#star trek #opinion #science fiction

[liminalkandlez]

well, hello!

wanted to make an actual personal blog since what was supposed to be my one and only blog didn't feel all that personal to me, so here we are. introduction and the like under the cut!

[NOTE: WE'RE REDOING OUR PINNED EVENTUALLY]

(hi i'm sneaking this in here hoping no one notices erm we are a system. this is the host. a while ago we made the collective decision not to be too open about it unless we're comfortable with people but like. fuck it this is LITERALLY our personal blog. can't wait to get yelled at by my headmates 😁... uh. might make a section for system stuff eventually if i don't get yelled at LOL) (update yeah we're gonna make smthin seperate and link it here instead of this thing... we would make a carrd but!!! how the fuck do we work those. what)

hiii (this is the host still), i go by like, a ton of names, and i don't feel like listing every single one, but the most preferred ones right now are rex, kel or mack! i use they/he pronouns plus a lot of neos that i might actually list at another time.

i draw and write like, a ton, so expect some of that if i remember to post (unlikely)! i roleplay a lot too, and i'd love to find more roleplay partners!!! if you spot any fandoms that we have in common, since i primarily do fandom roleplay, you can message me!!!

also, do note that we are bodily 16.

current fixations of ours are OMORI, Incredibox, Rain World, Warrior Cats, Wii Deleted You, and Project Moon Games.

current project(s): Tragibox Retake (over 100k... CLAWING AT THE WALLS) , Evadare AU, Fungibox, Liminalbox... a lot more things. help.

oh also, these are important since these are our tags for this blog, so they're getting put here. hooray

🌟: constellations_chatter -> general posts.

🌟: moonlight_friends -> chats with moots or anons that'd came around a couple times already.

🌟: starfall_vent -> general vents. yeah. i don't think i need to say much more.

🌟: sun_love -> comfort character stuff.

🌟: bleedingmoon_trigger -> any post with general triggers. said general triggers are mentioned in the second to last section.

🌟: liminal_art -> any art...

most of our writing and art rules are on my other blog, which will also be linked here instead of rules... we don't intend on logging back into that account for a while so uh!!!! please don't send requests over there!!! ignore the fandom list on there too it's probably like severely outdated

hosts sources;

(under construction...)

Evelin (The Mandela Catalogue)

Bandu (Dave & Bambi)

Susie (Deltarune)

Skyblue (Skyverse)

Kel (OMORI)

Dante (Project Moon Games)

Angelica (Project Moon Games)

Rui (Project Sekai)

Cinderpelt/Cinderheart (Warrior Cats)

Teruko (DRDT)

Mack (Incredibox Tragibox)

and finally, a DNI list. because we kind of need one of those.

DNI;

Proship/Comship/etc, get the fuck out. as someone who had experienced abuse and all, seeing the romanticization of it is fucking disgusting to us.

Zoophiles. Out. You are not apart of the LGBTQ+ community and never will be.

If you intend to make fun of Selfshipping or fakeclaim. tbf, we don't care!!!! speak your shit i guess!!!! if you want to talk to a wall, then be my guest

anything triggering will be tagged. although we will only be tagging the general sensitive topics, like; blood/gore, yandere/obsessive, vent/vent fic, s/h, etc ; although if you want a particular thing tagged, tell us what that thing is and tell me what name you want used so we can make a tag that's like "(Your name) don't look", just to make it easier on us.

speaking of as well, if you are my mutual, i'd prefer you tag things regarding SA/r*pe, p$d*philia, and NSFW in general aside from jokes to be tagged with "Rex don't look". things may be added at a later time. (again, jokes are 100% fine!!! i find them funny, as long as they aren't like... super explicit)

User Boxes will go here eventually because I like them and think they're neat but uh. later. don't feel like grabbing em rn LMAO (edit: it's been weeks and i still haven't done it lmfao😭) (edit 2: MONTHS.)

#pokemon #project moon #Lobotomy Corporation #library of ruina #limbus company #omori #omoriboy #murder drones #creepypasta #fnf Lullaby #project sekai #sdra2 #dra #drdt #super danganronpa another 2 #danganronpa another #danganronpa despair time #blush blush #rain world #vocaloid #twomp #homestuck #aggretsuko #incredibox

[hereforthefunnyguys]

Is it too insane to ask for your nsfw Irateshipping HCs?

no no it’s not insane I just usually try to keep the blog more pg-13/R rated than x rated. However…. I really want to talk about Irateshipping more. So imma just put some stuff under the cut. Honestly I’m more worried about not having enough stuff or frankly anything thats particularly sexy than I am about having it at all lmao

(nsfw text under the cut! You have been Warned) (Hoping the cut actually. Cuts where its supposed to lmao)

-marik ishtar praise kink goes crazy I don’t make the rules. Joey once accidentally called him a "good boy" during their first time together and he literally stopped functioning. Like complete windows crash bluescreen. Only refocused when Joey sat up and shook him a little because what if he accidentally killed him with sex somehow

-Joey is actually the more experienced of the two, which was really disappointing to him because he was really counting on the idea of his sexy criminal femme fatale boyfriend that knows 5000 different sex positions and instead got stuck with a nervy little freak that does not even know what lube is

-marik doesn’t know what he’s doing but he’s very enthusiastic to try whatever sounds fun

-this is simultaneously contrasted with the fact that he cannot take much stimulation at once and gets nervous if he’s not in control (whether in a Sexy way or in a Panic Attack way is kind of a coin flip)

-Joey is kind of bad at sex the first few times tbh because he gets too nervous and ends up getting distracted and talking way too much and ruining the mood

-he seriously improves in focus and attractivenesss when marik is just like. Ok. You can do what you want physically but please. For the love of god. Stop talking in bed like that.

-Joey has a weird thing where the idea of losing control to marik is really hot but also simultaneously so absolutely terrifying and humiliating to him even in a private context that he’s just like “hmmmm stuffing that down to repress as well methinks”

-marik is perhaps a wee bit of a sadist, which does not mix well with the fact that he is also fairly submissive and wants to be cared for and cared about so bad it actually hurts

-def not a masochist though lmao

-“I want to make you feel good and make this very romantic and uh other stuff” Joey and “i have been working for 10 straight hours and just got yelled at by my dad and need to Destroy Something” Joey are two entirely different creatures in bed

-Joey, walking into the bedroom casually: Hey babe how's it go -

Marik, shaking visibly from stress: If you have sex with me right here right now and completely destroy my brain to the point i cannot think about the conversations i have had with my siblings today about what i will do with my life now that I am no longer a cult leader I swear I will literally give you whatever you want from me for at least three months

Joey:

Joey, cautiously patting Marik on the head while sitting down next to him: Okay not that that's not an incredibly hot offer but maybe let's talk about it first plea-

Marik, gripping Joey's leg hard enough to leave fingerprints: I understand that but if I have one more serious conversation today I'll start killing people again

-Marik head game goes crazy because of that long tongue until he gets too worked up and starts getting Bitey

-Joey head game mediocre because he has too much of a gag reflex but is very enthusiastic and drools a fuckton

-Marik dick game meh because he neither has the enthusiasm nor the stamina for it tbh. Gets bonus points because he has fairly good rhythm

-Joey is better because he definitely has the enthusiasm for it as well as the strength for it (plus hes stubborn enough to keep pushing even when hes exhausted lmao) but tbf tends to get really excited or distracted and so tends to be kind of irrhythmic

-i tend to not bring top/bottom Disc Horse (tm) up much but I do think Joey probably wouldn't bottom much due to both a lot of internalized perceptions about it and also because it sounds like it fuckin hurts to him lmao

-Marik is simultaneously split in between "I love my weird little pathetic creature that i occasionally allow to be graced by my divine presence in bed" and "I NEED HIM TO CRUSH MY NECK IN BETWEEN HIS BICEP AND FOREARM WHILE I GET SHOVED IN BETWEEN HIS PECS FUCK"

-In terms of like strict Dynamics i think they're probably both switches that tend to fall back into pretty gentle/vanilla dom/sub dynamic when they aren't trying anything in particular

-Joey kind of likes getting bossed around in bed but tends to argue with it if marik does not just make him shut the Fuck up because sometimes the joey instinct is stronger than the horny instinct

-I post a lot about them having fucked up gay sex but in a domestic situation I think the sex is actually pretty intimate and honestly probably one of the healthier aspects of their relationship

-At multiple times in their lives I think its probably what helps get them through the day especially Joey when he was still living with his dad and working through his debts like. just five minutes more of worrying 24/7 and struggling to survive until my beautiful boyfriend shows up and straddles my lap while kissing my forehead and removes every single goddamn thought i have ever had that isn't about him. yay :)

-suffice to say they are making it work in the bedroom

-I forgot to mention that occasionally yami marik will show up if marik gets too freaked out and that there is nothing more terrifying to joey than turning around post-afterglow and seeing a demon with hair bigger than it’s shoulders looking at you like he wants to suck the inside of your skin out in place of your previously very pretty and vulnerable boyfriend

-bonus genderbend edition: fem marik is definitely a pillow princess and joey is completely willing to deal with putting in the work because quote "have you seen her recently have you seen my beautiful girlfriend just look at her I would do anything for this sexy sexy living identity crisis on stilts"

-fem marik: I want strap this is no longer a want nor a need but rather a Demand

#irateshipping #marik ishtar #joey wheeler #katsuya jonouchi #ygo #ask 2 tag #also joeys a leg man ps #my stuff

[daz4i]

ok one last suicide post for today and i swear i'll try to be more chill after that. emphasis on try

(fair warning this is very whiny and negative) (also tw for somewhat graphic death stuff)

i am sooooo done with everything. it's nothing new, i just. can't stand being alive for even one more day. getting out of bed was so hard today bc what's even the point. and tomorrow i actually have some shit to do and i'm already exhausted. already have been exhausted for a few days. i hate routines i hate that every week is the same i hate that the only shit that can spice it up is like, medical appointments. i look at my calendar and i see i have nothing to look forward to and nothing going on besides usual shit + medical shit. and i'm tired of those too. and i'm back to being in pain every day so it feels like all the food changes i made were for nothing and I've just been extra suffering for nothing bc i'm still. in fucking. pain.

and like beyond the personal shit i'm also done with bigger stuff too! i'm tired of the war i'm tired of seeing so much suffering in the world i'm tired of seeing loved ones going to funerals of ppl in their 20s. i'm tired of people dismissing this pain bc there are other bigger issues, or because our lives don't matter bc the number of losses is lower (or bc they just fucking hate us and can't see us as individual humans rather than some homogeneous group). i'm tired of seeing ppl i love care less about other lives bc of this, too. i don't want to live here. i hate this country so much. i can't leave, i can't even manage to leave my parents' house. i'm scared to live here. i'm scared to live anywhere else bc everywhere in the world is unsafe for ppl like me. everywhere sucks. everything in the world sucks so much. anything that can be beautiful gets taken away or destroyed. the world is becoming worse every day in every conceivable way.

and there's no point to any of this! there's no point in trying to get better or to make things better!!! BECAUSE the world is going to shit!!! what's the point in me making my mental health better (an already very unlikely task to fulfill) if there's nowhere for me to live. what's the point in working in the only field i can handle if i won't be able to make a living off it. what's the point in trying to build a life of my own if it'll never really be mine anyway, bc i can't fucking do anything, i can't even do basic shit like eating or sleeping like a normal person, i can't walk or stand for too long, i can't be outside for so many reasons, i can't talk to people and i can't handle being alone, i'm always in pain and constantly nauseous no matter what i do or how i try to fix it, nothing about my body works right and especially not my brain that can't fucking do anything right and only keeps working to make everything about me worse. i wish i was brave enough to just stab myself or smth. preferably in the head so i can shut that brain up for once. i wish i was brave enough to jump off the 9th floor. i wish i could drown myself or cut myself till i bleed to death or. i don't know. i just want to die. i can't stand being alive. there is too much bad and the specks of good are so fleeting that they're not worth it, not to mention come with their own bad stuff usually. and all this. all this bad is just too much for me to handle. but it's a natural part of life that i can't avoid (tbf, most people don't staight up suffer to the point of wanting to die from like, eating or going to the bathroom, so it's probably easier for them). i was not meant to be alive i was not built to be alive i wish i died in the who knows how many times i almost did i wish i drowned as a kid i wish i bled to death when i split my head open i wish my heart actually stopped pumping blood when it almost did i wish that truck ran into me and killed me on the spot i wish the fucking terrorists shot me or stabbed me and made sure i was dead i wish those 30 pills would've actually done something. i'm so tired. i hate this. i hate being alive. i hate life itself. i'm done with everything i can't handle it anymore. i wish i wasn't a coward so i could at least try to die again. or someone was willing to kill me. or anything. i just. i can't.

#vent #sorryyyyyyyyyy #this is a bad one. very edgy. don't say i didn't warn you #prayer circle that i'll die in my sleep tonight 🙏🕯 amen

[lowpolyshadow]

sonic frontiers review go!!!! (non spoilers then MASSIVE spoilers under the cut) TLDR overall score: i would say it's an objective solid 8/10, but for me personally i just. i just had so much fun. 10/10

gameplay (combat/bosses) 9/10 gameplay (cybers) 6.5/10 gameplay (shmovement) 8/10

i fucking Love. Comboing Shit For Video Game Combat. it's Fun. it's Exciting. I Love That Shit. excellent combat system, i just wish either skills were harder to unlock or there were just more to unlock (preferably the latter i guess, but i can't think of anything i want ... added ... it's just that skill points are so easy to come by and i maxed out the tree pretty fast, so i have a bunch of excess points for nothing. tbf i have a LOT of excess EVERYTHING but)

bosses were fucking excellent. THE highlights imo. mob fights and stuff are fine, everything manages to be its own puzzle which i adore but mini bosses and bosses are the shit. the cyberlevels are fun genuinely but either too short to get into, have some jank physics in a couple of them, or . well some of them aren't that fun GJKLASDF but i didn't hate them! ive only played sa2 so i only recognized those ones + the Super iconic ones (chemical plant and all that) and that probably affects judgement since blind reacting to a sonic stage is the fun part imo

they're ridiculously easy (to... me at least) though. besides 1-2's s rank which i finally got, i was able to get all four missions done for every cyber level within one sitting ... on average like . 3 tries per i'd say (blind first, going back for any red rings or ring reqs, and then speed) with some taking a few more for speed but never more than like. 10-20 min tbh. in general i almost want a very hard mode bc the game overall was a very chill time, which is fine but sometimes i want my shit rocked

parries being Not timing based both threw me off (bc i would try to let go at the exact time when in fact you just hold it) and made them feel a little less ultra cool since sonic will just hold the parry for as long as ... you do, essentially (though there is heavy end lag on it so if you don't parry anything that's at least punished) it's a minor tryhard gripe where i wish there was like a PARRY parry i could toggle or smth

i like being sonic in a big environment it's just fun. the amount of fucked up shit you can do is great, he truly is a prime candidate for bigass open areas (and he controls pretty nicely, just got a couple weird moments and things like he goes into 'trick' mode too easily or some platforming things don't work the way they're supposed to bc you go too fast lol)

story…… 8.5/10 characters 10/10 i like them :)

character writing was absolutely the highlight for me this game, good banter, many quips, overall just characterization i adore and love to see i was well fed this game with my beloved little scrimblos it was a good time

the story itself went pretty hard ngl, a lot more lore than i expected and generally it was sonic taking its ridiculous plot seriously again which is all i wanted !!!! it's like somehow ridiculous but probably the most straightforward story they've done in a while, but that's not a bad thing. good story i pogged a few times

music 11/10 straight bangers they just don't fucking miss

i don't think i have much spoiler stuff i'd wanna say other than i genuinely think they hyped themselves too much at the start. like the gameplay was fun learning how it works, how movement goes, the setup and everything etc. etc. i always 100% the map first thing as soon as i can then go through for anything i need/pick stuff up along the way and then i do the boss fight

and that first boss fight. is so fucking sick. oh my god. i felt like. if i was 12 and played this and got to experience that boss fight the way i did now it would've literally changed the trajectory of my life. it DID change the trajectory of my life right now at 23 it was just pure hype, i was so giddy, i had the biggest fucking grin i was literally ready to physically pop off yelling LETS GOOOOO i just let the little tutorial popup chill while i head banged to the song like dear fucking god dude. INSANE intro they set the bar way too high off the bat

wyvern/second boss was perhaps my favorite mechanically just bc it really goes at you the most, you gotta react a lot and parry a lot to get through the fight which is Fun .... giganto/first boss tho. easily the most memorable experience in gaming that i've had in years. it was just so phenomenally done, probably biased bc it's the first one but shadow of the colossus-ing your way up to his fucking head to get the emerald, turn into super sonic, hear that FUCKING SONG

but this game has sonic be so fucking anime and that means knight/boss 3 easily has the best fucking finisher when sonic picks up a sword the size of the island itself and does the most anime cut in half shot he possibly can god it was so fucking SICK THIS GAME IS SICK SONIC IS THE COOLEST

the story weakness imo is the ending where they had so much build up but not a Ton of payoff, not even talking about sonic like essentially dying in soul/mind and then being revived with friendship (based tbh) but like the last boss fight and last islands just weren't nearly as cool as the others imo .... supreme was a lil similar to giganto and went by a lot faster than expected, probably bc by that point sonic's probably juiced up from upgrades (i went all in on attack no defense too lol sooo) ... i love a good bullet hell but i wanted a super cool super sonic fight, a hyper sonic fight, something that lets me go to town and see a fucking Spectacle

fun bullet hell but that wasn't what i'm HERE for (also finally hearing im here was sick but the fight itself really was so short/not quite as hard or anything innovative that it.... ehhh .... plus it was oddly quiet compared to the other songs i think, like, the sound mixing)

the ending feels a liiiittle rushed? The End is cool as a concept especially with how fucked up we know it is but i dunno, it really does feel like it blew the load a little too early and the ending just didn't live up to earlier hype/expectations

but it was still fun it just. it just didn't make me Feel the way giganto did, the way wyvern did, knight was where the hype started dropping off a liiiittle but knight was still a fucking SHOW where sonic beats a mf with his own shield AND THEN BLOCKS A SWORD BIGGER THAN MOUNTAINS WITH HIS OWN FUCKING HANDS THEN USES IT AGAINST HIM ITS' SIK IT'S SICK the final boss didn't have any truly THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME bits that really let you walk away going YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and that's the part they need to fix

also no boss rush :/ brings the score down tbh i want to relive these things so fucking bad

the character relationships were soooo good though i just. gughugh. i don't want to get emo again but GOD they're such good friends they love and care about each other, i'm obsessed with amy saying how sonic loves the world and he has so much love to show because it's true sonic just LOVES living he loves life he loves getting to just Be and

tails is growing up on him faster than he expected .... uuu ....

and the fucking SONIC AND KNUCKLES BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH BUTTING HEADS SNARLING AT EACH OTHER LAUGHING AND GIVING FIST BUMPS AND TALKING SHIT THEY WERE SO GOOD YEAHYEAHYHEAY MOTEHRFUCKING KNUCKLES SWEEP BABY LETS GOOOO

god. so good. so fucking good. this is a game about love (sonic and his friends, eggman and sage of all people, the koco and their. selves? their history?, even chaos technically ....) and who am i if not a fucking Sucker for that shit. lets show that creep the real super power of team work

i did not actually hear vandalize in game yet because that is apparently only if you go into the final fight on easy or normal (i played to completion on hard exclusively) but the "true" ending song by nate goddamn wants to battle is INCREDIBLY sonic. one way dream is soooo reach for the stars/endless possibilities. it just makes me Feel happy. it's a little melancholic the way all of frontiers sort of is, but it's still hopeful and all about like. going forward. overcoming anything in your path and getting better for it and seeing the start of another new adventure and that sure is sonic the hedgehog

#none of this was coherent i just rambled a lot bc i really like this game #so good. soooo good. oh god man i'm going through it #im emo im so emo i'm never normal again #sonic frontiers #speaking

[clatterbane]

This afternoon's little planned adventure: my first solo shopping trip to the nearest supermarket! Which feels weird as hell to say when we've been in this place since January.

Tbf, I have rolled over to that shopping center on my own for other purposes, but every time I've ventured in for groceries so far it's been with Mr. C along doubling as pack mule. 😅

Not entirely thrilled about this state of affairs, but post-viral BS. More able to actually swallow a decent variety of foods, less able to actually get out in search of some! 🙄 And that isn't quite as easy a roll as to even the ICA roughly the same distance from Temporary Apartment; it has a lot more uphill (pretty much totally manmade, going over a road overpass), and some sections of tricker sidewalk without decent curb cuts.

At least they very purposely do make the burbs* pretty hikeable/walkable/wheelchair accessible here, is all I can say. And curbs/uneven pavement are actually doable for me as an otherwise fairly physically able manual chair user. It's just a PITA, and eats extra energy. It ends up being way more downhill on the way home loaded down too, which is much better than it could be. But yeah, this is enough older development around here that it shows some trying to get around.

(On the plus side? I did see some other guy out the other day with an electric handcycle attachment. And power assist devices are indeed supposed to be covered by the healthcare system here--unlike on Plague Island, like, at all. So, I am more hopeful about maybe wheedling one out of them now that I am properly covered, and things have settled down some on other fronts. Besides an aftermarket leg! Really hoping it's not "either/or" with wheelchair or prosthetic services, unlike our freaking NHS trust before. 🤬 Because everybody needs both available sometimes, properly set up to wreck their body as little as possible.)

Anyway, I am feeling pretty stir crazy on a sunny day, and also really need a few items like milk with him gone. Plus, naturally, I really want to poke around that big extremely international store some for the first time in ages, now that I can actually eat most of the stuff and the sight/smell of food isn't seriously fucking me up anymore.

My major challenge: not grabbing more shit than I can at least semi-reasonably cart home in my backpack, plus the couple of overflow bags hung on the back of the chair!

Bonus side mission: Swing by and scout out exactly where around that same shopping center one dentist's office is. 😰 Because yeah, I really do need to see one soon--and not just for that cleaning I had been trying to psych myself up for, now that we don't also have a bunch of medical charges to contend with. (Thankfully no pain so far, but I discovered a cavity which really ought to get dealt with before it reaches that point! Especially with local anesthetics not working on me. Probably more hiding in my mouth after the years of out of control blood sugar, tbh. Feel like I'm getting off lucky "just" noticing the one before anything hurts.)

Pretty sure I have a good idea where to find the place, but better to make sure before I start heading over there for an appointment! Which is nerve wracking enough when you do know exactly how to get there.

Even more reason to reward myself with some ice cream while I'm there. 😁 After the unaccustomed exercise, my blood sugar will probably need it anyway. Even though there are a couple of places I know of to get fresh scooped stuff over there, I'm actually tempted to try that funky soft serve vending machine. It looked interesting, plus no need to interact with anyone in Hard Swedish Mode when I may already be low on spoons.

_________

* We are apparently not technically in the suburbs here. The city center has shifted some over time, leaving this part of the actual city farther from it. But, everybody refers to it as such--and it does feel pretty damned suburban in layout, Swedish "Million Program" styley.

#personal #rambling #clatterbane ventures forth #dentist mention #post viral illness #accessibility #wheelchair accessibility

[romegaketh]

I just read your speculation worldbuilding ask, and I was wondering if you could talk more about njpw norms vs aew norms? i was thinking about how adam mentions that hangman has it in his contract that he can ask adam to wear blockers if he so wishes, which i thought was interesting as i'd assumed aew would be more progressive compared to wwe about it (though tbf bucks are running the show). also curious about how wheeler wears blockers because danny does - is that an ettiquette thing? 1/

hi anon! i'm going to answer these in parts bc i think they're going to take a minute, stay tuned for the second half of your q. i don't feel super comfortable talking abt njpw norms since i'm not familiar w it as a company enough to be critiquing the way that i can be comfy picking at aew. but i can talk a little about aew and maybe try to contrast that way! these are great questions + thank u for asking them <3

blocker talk under the cut! not an analog to hormonal birth control but maybe similar vibes, if that's something you're sensitive to.

first off boring disclaimer: i am a vulgar communist i don't think that ~progress~ can be made under late capitalism and am generally a cynical bitch tm abt aew as a project irl (though it is much better than anything run by v*nce mcm*h*n). so that is the lens i take for any form of ~social change that might be depicted - none of the characters in speculation share this viewpoint, though they range in degrees of cynicism.

blockers are probably, actually, a relatively progressive option allowed by both major companies. (i think in japan maybe they would enforce stricter segregation during heat or rut which might track to their enforced weight classes. don't quote me on it tho.) asking someone to wear blockers is not like, chill or fun, but it is definitely better than not booking them at all. which is absolutely what happens if you have an alpha at the top of the card who doesn't want to wrestle an omega with a distracting scent. theoretically at aew any opponent can request that of any other opponent - blockers are a non invasive and temporary intervention that shouldn't make you a worse wrestler - but it can be weaponised.

realistically who gets blowback for asking for this option matters. when adam is saying page could ask him to - he could and it wouldn't be a problem. (this is also partially because adam has a ~reputation, deserved or undeserved, but adam would never think of himself as contributing to his own circumstances in that way lol.) an alpha asking an omega to wear blockers is considered an acceptable compromise to get the match to happen at all; an omega asking is probably rarely done and if it does happen there is some negative murmuring. (see the killers, below.)

in practice, i think this norm is rarely enforced at aew and it is probably more enforced at wwe. though materially the actual divider is schedule. wwe wrestlers who are omegas are more likely to be using blockers or forms of cycle regulation that are more invasive and have more side effects because they just work more shows. it's way harder to justify taking time off or like, having a sudden heat or whatever when you're supposed to be doing four shows in a row. (aew omegas - and alphas - might for whatever reason also make use of those forms of regulation. but it's more possible for them to make those decisions independently without an employer's input.)

ALSO being allowed to / encouraged to wear blockers / not having to play on tropes of designation is advantageous to both alphas and omegas; using scent to influence your like, feelings or your fighting ability is risky shit and can and does backfire often. (see seth in iff.)

more on the wheeler and danny (and lee moriarty, who also wears blockers due to his friendship with danny) stuff coming up in the next fic (maybe, touch wood). but the difference is generational; it is considered polite among zoomer wrestlers to wear patches if you're unfamiliar with your opponent, because you can manipulate them if you know what you're doing and/or lose your head a bit. as above, in some promotions this is part of the draw (and adam cole is really fucking about it), but for the killers especially, the emphasis is on technical skill and scent is considered to detract from that.

(if you asked lee or wheeler why they wear blockers they would not say "because danny garcia wants me to". despite that, this is absolutely the predominant opinion amongst older wrestlers who are aware of this arrangement.)

#au: speculation #ask: anon

[briarpatch-kids]

I'm sorry if this is dumb but how do you know when to get help? Like I've been noticing my physical health getting worse, at least it seems like it, and it's really painful and exhausting but I don't feel like it warrants an ER visit or anything (maybe a doctor's visit but I can't afford that) and tbf I've ridden out a lot of pain and shitty stuff to avoid going to the ER (it freaks me out and again I never feel like my pain warrants it no matter how bad I think it might feel) but I'm just so tired and work is so difficult and I'm not rly sure what to do. I just wanna figure out when to finally give in and try to get some help somehow bc it's so hard to tell where my breaking point should be

I'm SO sorry for not answering this right away, I think I was sick and meant to write something longer and didn't get to it in time. It's not dumb, it's a good question ESPECIALLY when you're poor and can't afford to go to the doctor for every little ache and pain.

Basically, if you've tried the usual lifestyle adjustments doctors recommend (trying to get a little exercise, changing how you eat, cutting back on activities to leave time for resting, etc) and things aren't helping or you're still exhausted, go into the doctor. It's best to call and ask for a primary care doctor and not to go to urgent care, for the reason of the appointment let them know you have fatigue and pain that lifestyle changes and over the counter medicines aren't doing enough for, that you're at your limit, and you need to figure out what's going on. I've heard anecdotally that "sliding scale" clinics are better at understanding that you already tried to handle this at home and won't tell you to do some lifestyle changes and see them in three weeks.

Try and notice what makes the pain and fatigue better or worse. If there's patterns like "exercise makes it worse" or "every time I try and get my shit together I have a massive health crash after a couple months" let them know. Telling the physical therapist that while he could see my muscles doing their thing in real time was what got doctors to FINALLY take me seriously. Tell them what lifestyle adjustments you've made and how they affected you so they don't just send you away with "change your lifestyle." (I keep saying this because I got that runaround for 3 years 🙃)

And finally, ask them what you can do to manage things while you wait to figure out what's going wrong. I got a lot of the bare bones medical care I managed to claw out of doctors while in diagnostic purgatory because I asked what we can do to make things more bearable in the mean time. (physical therapy, occupational therapy, mobility aids, mental health therapy because it's fucking stressful to be undiagnosed, that sort of thing.)

If you're lucky, it's something common and easily tested, a lot of people have stuff that's treatable or at least manageable like diabetes or anemia. If you're unlucky, you could end up diagnostic purgatory for years and doing things in the meantime will keep you going. There's also conditions that just don't go away and don't have many treatments other than symptom relief, like chronic fatigue, EDS, or the more unusual stuff like mitochondrial disease and myasthenia gravis. I highly recommend "hoping for the best and preparing for the worst" meaning it's totally fine to hope it's something like anemia and treated with regular medicine, but also don't be totally blindsided and shocked if you end up like me and take 7 years to get answers that are "you're really sick, here's how, but there's not much we can do! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at least you're probably not dying in the near future!"

#i didn't 'prepare for the worst' with the wheelchair eval and got suprised by the complex rehab chair and i regret it #im getting better about my internalized ableism towards needing one and starting to get excited though!

[insecateur]

lysandre/cyrus

lysandre/diantha

raihan/piers

ekuserirei (as ot3)

toichiro/shimazaki

toichiro/serizawa

BIG SELECTION THANK U putting under a cut also...

Lysandre/Cyrus

i think they would get along well bc they have a lot in common... being jaded irt humanity (although for VERY different reasons, tbf) loving pokémons, loving technology... with the caveat that like i said for Guzma/Cyrus i don't rly see cyrus as having a strong interest in romantic relationship i do think they could fit well together. definitely the type to just hang out together in a room doing their thing working on machines completely absorbed just vibing but Together

Lysandre/Diantha

MY BELOVEDS i've talked about this when someone asked about frenchflag but i like that she seems like she would stand up to him and i think he needs that... they would definitely clash but in a way that would benefit them both. also she should step on him and he should thank her. this is my brutal opinion take it or leave it--

Raihan/Piers

tall boys... sticking together (raihan should encourage piers to stop slouching so much tho.) i like it!! no strong feelings about it... i think if i had to choose a raihan ship i'd probably go with raihan/kabu bc i'm a sucker for that age gap but i do think they'd have an interesting dynamic!!

EkuSeriRei

i have enjoyed stuff where ekubo possesses seri so he can Consummate with reigen and that's about it i cannot enjoy any other aspect of it...... i'm sorry......... i respect it tho........

Toichiro/Shimazaki

I LIKE THIS ONE i've seen some very nice fanart... i'm curious about their history, i wish we knew more about that... i like that shimazaki seems like the ultimate 5 who's the most like... aware? of the fact that toichiro is Bad News and is just using them and he's along for the ride bc he just wants to have fun and wreak havoc. so in that respect i think they could have an interesting thing going on...

Toichiro/Serizawa

MY GUYS... UNDERRATED... i get why but still... one day i will write my epic post-canon saga where they get in contact again and try to navigate all the fucked up shit that's happened between them all bc of toichiro... i'm really antsy to find out how season 3 is going to handle serizawa and very eager to see toichiro again even if it's for like. the world's shortest scene where he interacts with shou. i will eat it up. my guys.

#la réponse d #sitting quietly in my litle corner waiting to see my horrible evil dad of choice again. bring him back to me. i will shred him into pieces.

[minimoefoe]

Every single thought I have about the Doctor Who 60th specials… (Part 1/2) 

Part 2

I feel like I’m losing my mind with all the opinions, questions and theories I have about what we’ve watched over the last three weeks so this is part 1 of a full semi-comprehensive list of pretty much all of it so I can get it out of my head and (mostly) move on

The Star Beast

The Intro

I quite like the intro scene cutting between 14 and Donna but 14 being green screened into space is so horrifically ugly and out of place especially when Donna is just sitting in her house. He should have also been sitting somewhere. Like literally just some generic place. I was thinking 13’s TARDIS would’ve been a good place but I don’t think that makes sense bc it kinda places him at a certain place in a certain time when the voice over was more supposed to be like a recap situation and not 14 actually sitting somewhere telling us that stuff because when he sees Donna he is shocked. So if it had been 13’s TARDIS it would have implied he was expecting to then leave the TARDIS and come across her yknow. Idk. Basically that greenscreen moment was just ugly and an embarrassing thing to start the era with tbh

Dialogue & Funny Moments

The dialogue in the first scene isn’t great. It feels kinda plain? Unrealistic? Childish? Clunky? It’s the kind of meh dialogue you’d find in Chibnall’s era that people love to complain about (which is fair, I don’t love that dialogue/vibe either) but somehow worse because I just didn’t expect that kind of vibe from RTD like in my mind writing realistic dialogue is kinda his Thing so idk what’s gone on with this scene. There are some other misc moments in the episode that are similar but I think that’s the worst one, which isn’t great considering it’s the first proper scene in the episode. 

Despite that clunky first scene, there are so many scenes in this episode where I just LOVED the dialogue and there was so many funny moments especially in the first half of the episode - Donna realising why she gave the money away, the Meep in the shed screaming about the toys, every second from Donna discovering the Meep right til ‘tuna madras’, Sylvia calling 14 an idiot when he assumes Wilf is dead, exhibit C just die

Donna Being Nasty

Donna meeting a man and instantly calling him skinny is weird. It was also weird in Series 4 but Series 4 was 2008 so. It shouldn’t still be a thing that’s happening now tho especially as much as it did in that ep. And like, okay if we’re doing that then what you’re telling me is that Donna isn’t a very nice person I guess?? Which, tbf, does track with her character, she has always been mouthy and kinda mean

That’s something that RTD’s and Moffat’s eras have always had that imo Chibnall’s never really did, comedy at the expense of someone. Like the joke here is that Donna is making fun of the Doctor for being skinny, it’s meanness for comedy’s sake and it’s not even funny bc what’s funny about some random woman meeting a man and making fun of his appearance and then going on to do that multiple more times through the episode. It’s just weird

We then also have Donna basically gloating about giving someone nasty nicknames in school (which mind you was probably 30 or so years ago) and it felt very childish like idk

Also, I absolutely know that misc bullying isn’t the same as transphobia but I find it interesting that in one breath Donna is poking fun at the Doctor’s appearance and borderline fondly looking back at how she made up nasty nicknames for someone in school (tho going by their kids they seem like twats so maybe they deserved the nicknames) but then in her next breath she’s telling Rose about how it’s not right that people are making fun of her. Which like, she’s obviously right, but also Donna is like ‘making fun of people is bad but also I make fun of people too’ and idk if I’m even pointing this out in a bad way tbh, it’s just something I noticed. It’s kinda interesting. Like Donna is simultaneously just SO caring and protective and an amazing mum to Rose and she always tries to get the Doctor to open up and is a great friend to him but then she’s also quite mean? Duality of man I guess idfk

Gender, Transness & Rose

The psychic paper saying Grand Mistress is a great moment. I saw someone say it doesn't make sense for the psychic paper to be faulty like that but imo it could kinda be showing that 14 maybe isn’t in his new body completely yet like the paper shows what the person is thinking so I guess 14 hasn’t adjusted and is still somewhat thinking like he’s 13, which is really interesting imo. Though I feel like that maybe wasn’t an intentional thing, it was just meant to be a funny moment. Which it is tbf so. I do think that reading maybe makes the later comments in the episode about a male presenting Time Lord not understanding something worse than it already is tho..

I loved the scene with Donna and Sylvia talking about Rose like they’re both trying their best to support her even if they're not always fully sure what the right thing is

I know there was some talk about the dead naming scene and if it should have been done but I think it’s fine to include something like that. It’s important to show the real things trans people are going through. I can understand some people, trans people specifically, maybe finding the scene uncomfortable to watch though for sure. 

RTD’s comment in the podcast episode for this episode about the dead naming scene isn’t my favourite thing in the world. He basically says there’s two reasons he put that scene in - to show what trans people go through and to have a way to tell the audience that Rose’s dead name means ‘doctor’. I just don’t think the second reason was necessary like, it IS interesting that Donna subconsciously named her kid after the Doctor but in the context of like ‘well we could have a character be harassed on the street as a way to show everyone this bit of lore’ it's like hm idk about that. Especially when Rose is also a name related to the Doctor anyways. And also the way he says it in the clip sounds like the transphobia part was an afterthought and getting the name out there so people could know Donna named her kid after the Doctor was a bigger reason for doing it. Which idk, maybe he just worded things weird and that isn’t actually how he thought about it but that’s definitely how it came across to me in the clip.

Rose’s ‘you’re assuming he as a pronoun’ comment is genuinely SO bad. There’s so many ways they could have done that moment and made it work and we ended up with the most clunky cringe and unnatural one of the lot. The way it was done I think genuinely made the hate Rose got from assholes worse. I mean, obviously anyone who dislikes Rose because she’s trans is going to dislike her regardless of this moment but it was SUCH an awkward scene that it’s like RTD basically spoon fed it to these people as something to complain about bc it made Rose seem so, idk, bratty? Or like a stereotypical progressive young person? I really don’t know how to explain it, it was just bad and you can tell and old man wrote it

And also, having her say that to THE DOCTOR, a Doctor who was a woman a few hours ago, and for him to be like ah yes, as if he hadn’t considered it was really not the right move imo. It obviously makes sense for Rose to be aware and want to ask something like that but I think the Doctor should have been the one to ask it himself rather than it being put on her. And if it did have to be put on her, it should have been done better and the Doctor should’ve had a less shocked(?) reaction, bc DUH he was a woman literally just now

Rose doesn’t have any character. She exists to help save Donna from the metacrisis and has no character outside of her transness. Like literally all I could tell you about her is that she makes toys and feels different because she’s trans. I’d also say I know that she’s nice and caring because she’s pretty quick to help the Meep out and defend them and she clearly sees herself in them kinda but then as soon as the Meep turns evil we don’t see any reaction from her and she becomes irrelevant except for when she pops up at the end to be used as a device to help Donna survive. It’s pretty poor. I’ve seen that RTD has said we’re going to see her again, presumably in 15’s era, so I’m just gonna hope he redeems himself then

Metacrisis Stuff & More Gender Stuff

14 being like ‘Donna could DIE’ to Shirley but then talking about his hearts and when Sylvia is annoyed he said it he acts like she’s overreacting and then he’s in the attic basically explaining what the sonic is like what the fuck are you doing? Do you want her to die? It’s like the episode forgets about the actual bad thing that could happen to Donna in favour of having some funny moments and it’s so strange.

The list of code words is like.. Okay? It’s kinda cringe, especially the binary binary binary stuff but whatever. And also the whole waffling to sound clever thing is sooooo RTD and is also pretty cringe and kinda crap idrk

I think I am cool with Rose existing passing down enough of the energy and letting Donna live, even though it is a bit like okay I feel like she’d have way too much energy in her for that to work but whatever

What I’m still not sure about is that passing down being what made Rose trans non-binary? Like firstly I don’t think that actually makes sense and secondly it’s kinda implying that being trans/non-binary is like, a thing caused by aliens or whatever else and not just.. A thing that some people are. Idk it is just feels very strange, not my fave at all

‘It’s a shame you’re not a woman anymore because she’d have understood’ and ‘something a male presenting Time Lord will never understand. Just let it go.’ is weird as hell to me like what? I’ve seen people say that it was obviously just them joking and like yeah okay maybe it was intended that way but it really didn’t come across to me and it also just wasn’t funny like.. Okay? Just think it’s a very odd moment in an episode where gender and being trans is pretty prevalent? And then on top of that the shit happening in that scene is SO silly. Like okay so we’re saying after all this Rose and Donna can just.. Let all the metacrisis stuff go and they’re fine? I love seeing the Doctor and Donna back again for a couple of eps but that explanation is an INSANE cop out and is honestly just lazy like RTD has regretted Donna’s ending for like a decade and that is what he came up with to fix it? Lol okay

Misc

Idk how I feel about the sonic being able to do all of that like it’s already been kinda an overpowered magic wand and now it’s building walls?? Maybe actually physically seeing it able to do something to help them is better than it magically locking and unlocking things actually but idk. Not a huuuge fan but whatever, idrc about the sonic that much

I didn’t really care much about Shirley on first watch but I quite like her now

14 being like ‘She’s got this beautiful daughter, she’s happy. Is she?’ was a bit odd considering he had no reason to question Donna’s happiness at that point 

I wasn’t too happy about Sylvia slapping 14 when it was first shown however long ago but I don’t think I mind anymore like yeah okay, Sylvia is literally worried her daughter will die and the man who made it all happen and could kill her has shown up along with a little furry alien. I don’t want slapping the Doctor to be a thing that keeps happening tho. This and Jackie in S1 are probably the only times the doctor has deserved the slap they’ve got.

Kinda interested to find out who the Meep is referring to as ‘the boss’ idk, I feel like it’s not really worth theorising about though bc it could literally be anyone. The name could be a Time Lord title like the Boss, it could just be some random guy. I’m assuming we’ll find out in 15’s run (we better do actually bc if not what a waste of time) 

I kinda loved the Wrath Warriors. I didn’t expect them to be that chatty, big fan

I was very unsure about the new TARDIS interior but I think I’ve decided I really like it actually

The ‘It killed me, it killed me, it killed me’ moment is so good

The coffee ending was kiiinda dumb as fuck but whatever idk. Donna’s shouty voice does go right through me though and 14 being like, ‘We could end up.. anywhere in time and space.’ was HORRIFIC like what shite cringe dialogue omg

The ‘I don't believe in destiny’ stuff is like well there is literally no destiny involved in this story so that moment (and the moments where he emphasised how Donna could die only for her to very easily end up living) was all just to hype ppl up and I kinda hate it like doing all that only for it to not play out anything like that makes things kinda underwhelming? Idk, I don’t think it would be as underwhelming if the way it was sold wasn’t as dramatic

Wild Blue Yonder

If I personally was casting someone to play a real person I’d probably try and get someone who looks like the real person but the fact RTD didn’t do that literally doesn’t matter at all like I couldn’t imagine being genuinely outraged by it, it’s such a non-issue. Especially when it’s literally just a two minute scene at the beginning of an episode purely put there for a joke about gravity like this is not some serious three hour biopic omg

I love the moment where 14 agrees with Donna about Newton being hot. I saw some people saying stuff about the Doctor finally being comfortable with their attraction to men or ‘finally we have a gay Doctor’ but I think that’s really not what the Doctor meant when he was like ‘is that who I am now’ and it’s imo kinda silly to read it that way. It obviously doesn't come up as much as their attraction to women but the Doctor has always had an attraction to men (flirting with Jack, offering to the kiss the guy in S3, whatever TenSimm had going on) and they’ve never been hesitant to show that attraction specifically, it’s attraction in general that they’ve typically not been the best at expressing freely. So that ‘is that who I am now’ comment feels to me like it’s in the same vein as the moments in The Star Beast where 14 says he loves Donna and Wilf and is kinda shocked that he so openly says that. The Doctor has just become more open and/or aware of their feelings (and I love it so much). It’s got nothing to do with them finally being attracted to men or whatever some people have been waffling about

I’m so obsessed with the Flux and Timeless Child Mentions. Like, that entire scene and then the bit after where 14 starts having a mini breakdown is SO good. This is the first time the Doctor has properly tried to be open with someone in a very long time and then the person he’s being open with ends up not even being that person???? It’s crazy and I’m obsessed with it. Also that tantrum was clowned on by everyone including me for so long so to actually see the scene and it be kinda the best thing ever is really funny.

Obviously a massive corridor like that is gonna need to be largely CGI but it was mildly distracting near the beginning of the ep idk. I know everyone is like ‘this is Doctor Who, it looks bad’ but um no I’d rather it look good actually. It’s kinda giving MCU in terms of it clearly being high budget but still not Quite looking as good as it could (not that DW is quite on that level of a budget lmao, more like well this is supposed to be an upgrade but Flux looked better than a lot of the CGI in these three specials)

I love that 13 was the way she was because she was like that for a reason but GOD I loved 14 tryna support Donna when she was freaking out. I love that the Doctor is growing from that time in their life, 15 even more so than 14

I really don’t have much else to say about this episode, I basically loved every other bit of it 

#doctor who #dw spoilers #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #nataliechats

[amothersvow]

>>I said I'd talk about Kaspan and Eliyen, and I WILL talk about Kaspan and Eliyen

This is campaign specific stuff, so I'll put it under the cut

For some context, Kaspan is a PC in our campaign. He's a dhampir with severe memory loss/issues, due to him traversing the Deadlands, which is a very toxic wasteland in the south east of the continent. He can briefly regain memories by consuming human(oid) flesh.

Him and Eliyen met some years ago, when he first became a dhampir and slaughtered everyone in a run down bar. She let him do it and intented on killing him in turn, but when she couldn't, they decided to travel together. They've since figured out that Eliyen's music calms his bloodlust too, and Kaspan as a device that plays some of her songs.

SO

I can only really speak on Eliyen's feelings towards Kaspan, since it's not my place to speak on another player's character.

Eliyen adores Kaspan, ridiculously so, much more than she lets on. She often feels he's the only one who understands her situation; he needs to kill to keep his memory, she needs to kill because of her pact. They're in a similar situation, Eliyen really can't tell anyone else about it without receiving harsh judgement or death right then and there. She clings to Kaspan, as he's been one of the only constants in her life since her pact with Azar. A light, of sorts, a source of comfort. Someone to confide in. Someone who isn't judging her for what she does.

In Eliyen's view, Kaspan kills out of necessity, and she kills for "selfish" reasons; she could just leave her debt as is and take the torture in the afterlife instead of ridding 1000 people of their lives. Yet out of fear of it, she does it anyways. Because of that, she views herself as a monster, as someone to stay away from. And she's so stunned that Kaspan is still with her, because, technically they don't really need each other anymore. Kaspan has the recording of Eliyen's songs to keep his bloodlust at bay, and Eliyen doesn't really need to be protected, she can defend herself just fine. Well, tbf, Eliyen needs Kaspan for emotional support and comfort, but she'd be relatively fine by herself. She just couldn't bring herself to leave him, even if she knows (thinks) he'd be better off without her.

She also doesn't really let on how much she adores Kaspan, partically because she thinks no one could love a monster like her, and partically because Kaspan is probably going to live a lot longer than her. He's ageless, at this point, he might just live forever, while she, now that she had to trade in her elven form for her tiefling one, will live 80 - 100 more years at most. She'll age and wither away and die, and she can't do that to Kaspan. She can't reveal how she feels and then eventually just leave him behind. I think her plan for the time being is fulfill her pact, get her revenge and reunite with her daughter so she can retire.

I've,,, been writing on this for so long I kinda lost the point lmao. Point being, Eliyen really adores Kaspan but would never let it on, not in a way he'd realize. Or maybe she already has, once or twice, but he's just forgotten, which is a thought I really like. The thought of her going "you'll forget in a few days time, and that is fine, just know that I adore you, much more than you may realize" and then she watches as the memory of it fades from him. Idk. I like them, they're a tragic duo, and I think they can only end in tragedy.

#» some have said that about me… [musings] « #» a personal anecdote [eliyen] « #» the ashes formerly known as green [campaign things] « #» so ive heard… [headcanons] « #» at the campfire [ooc] « #cw cannibalism #cw death #cw murder #cw memory loss #this is so incoherent lmao #i just love kaspan and eliyen as a duo #theyre just #ugh theyre everything #they have such a dynamic

[dandelioncrownns]

random grishaverse facts/trivia (mostly tgt/kos, tbh), because i love useless details. Also, attempted organisation, because i like order too. + ft. my unwanted commentary

the darkling

has a sweet tooth

loves animals and nature in general

for those of you who have read demon in the woods, he got to meet the white tigers :)

his bedchamber walls are carved into trees bc he loves the woods

his favourite trees in particular are pine trees (or just evergreen trees in general)

he used to be afraid of the dark (many possibly worrying? interesting? implications to this; i won’t get into it here tho)

he likes bright colours, but wears black all the time basically for the aesthetic

he met his younger half-sister, Ulla, when he was a seer’s apprentice in Fjerda 

the darkling is a musician! He plays the fiddle, and growing up, he played the balalaika and oud (i wonder if he can read tablature,,) 

His father was a very powerful heartrender (maybe this is why the corporalki are valued so highly by him?)

genya

she got an amplifier between the end of R+R and the start of KoS (kestrel bones)

Genya used Dekora Nevich, the Ornamental Blade, to poison the King

It smells like cinnamon and is a warm golden colour

the royal family / nikolai’s bio family 

the King once cut himself on his own sword

genya named the queen’s dog 

until she was like 11, Genya was like the daughter the queen never had (omg i really wonder how Nikolai and Vasily felt about that? ik it’s not really mentioned, and Nik kinda acts like he just met Genya is S+S, but they must have been a lot closer, right?? I mean genya was almost always at the grand palace with Queen Tatiana, and nikolai just really wanted his parents’ attention, there must have been some kind of maybe one-sided jealousy/sibling rivalry thing, right?? I digress- for now)

also the queen in a dog person

p. sure Nikolai is a mommy’s boy

(possible explanation:) he looks exactly like his real father (except for his eyes). Nikolai even has the same laugh as Magnus

the queen was also fed up with Vasily and his horses

Vasily rides a white gelding horse and Nikolai rides a speckled grey horse (called Punchline)

speaking of, vasily is definitely a horse girl, but like... just the worst (darkling 🤝vasily)

Queen Tatiana’s letters to Magnus Opjer were “very racy” 

 She doesn’t approve of women in trousers

Linnea is ~1 year younger than Nikolai

she is good at math + studies engineering at ketterdam (I wonder if maybe she and Nikolai crossed paths when he was at uni- they’re around the same age, so maybe?)

The King and Queen hired a clown for nikolai’s 10th birthday (the worst birthday party he’d been to, inclusive of the night Vasily died, according to Nikolai)

Nikolai is afraid of spiders (and also clowns???)

nikolai:

he can juggle

Nikolai sucks at learning languages 

he once spoke Fjerdan so badly a man named Knut offered him a ruby to stop

his Kerch seems pretty good tho

Nikolai met The Darkling when he was 14

Nikolai is a baritone (as is Jesper!)

In his free time, Nikolai writes bad poetry (remember that time he got stabbed w/ a letter opener bc his poetry sucked?)

he went through an emo phase/ existential crisis before becoming sturmhond.

during said emo phase, he wrote rhyming poetry pretty much exclusively

He also took philosophy classes at uni (PPE?)

alina:

alina tried on the same rose dress that the Queen watched vasily die in

Nikolai gifted Alina a VERY low-cut cobalt lace gown (In the words of Nadia, “The bodice might as well be cut to the navel.” )

Alina hates herring, but Zoya and Nikolai love it

She is VERY sarcastic and snarky!! I feel like this gets glossed over so much in the fandom, and just why?? (she’s so gloomy and over everything 90% of the time, i love it so much)

So this isn’t technically a fact-fact, but there is no way Alina wasn’t at least a little bit into women. Did you read how she talked abt genya? Zoya? there’s no way she wasn’t into them

Alina doesn’t really like hard cheese

zoya + zoyalai:

Zoya’s horse is called Serebrine

Zoya can use her lightning as a defibrillator (I’m sure other squallers can do this too with the right training)

Zoya likes Nikolai’s hands (and Nikolai likes Zoya’s feet lmao)

she has ‘weird (long?) incisors’  

she definitely had a crush on Nikolai since Ruin and Rising

kaz:

Kaz grew up on a farm in Southern Kerch, in Lij

Kaz is a both a cat and a dog person  (he just likes strays)

Matthias is a dog person, obviously

All the other crows are cat people 

He likes hot chocolate

both he and nikolai like brandy

hates cereal

Kaz is obsessed with magic + likes puzzles

actually very funny if he wasn’t terrifying (honestly?? at leat 70% of his dialogue is just witty quips/jokes)

Kaz’s right leg is the one he broke, and the dregs usually get their tattoo on their right forearm

the other crows:

Jesper has been known to go line-dancing (and would like country music) 

Mal and Jesper were friends in S+S!! (Probably) Jesper has a not-really-secret crush on sturmhond. 

He also had a VERY not secret crush on Kaz before wylan, ofc

Matthias’ middle name is Benedik

Nina would win in an arm wrestling contest against Jesper

Inej has a thing for Kaz’s eyes

Nina was at the orphanage with the other grisha kids in R+R

In the opening scene of CK, Jesper was wearing a navy waistcoat with little gold stars (his fashion is just top tier honestly)

grisha- powers, etc.:

A solar eclipse would have no effect on the Darkling’s powers, but it would make it harder for Alina to summon.

Fabrikators can make flowers bloom

The twins have shark teeth amplifiers

Adrik and Leoni are saints

general world stuff:

Gay marriage is legal in Kerch!

there was a landbridge connecting Shu Han and Kerch but the council of tides covered it

Antimony is used as mascara

kruge is pale purple paper currency

ravkan currency has Nikolai’s face on it (ig not anymore tho?)

Hringkälla is celebrated on March 20th

the distance between Ivets and Os Alta is only about 100 miles? (i’m just going to willfully ignore this, because thats,, so small?)

Mermaids and dragons exist(ed) in the grishaverse

misc:

the daughter of the duke of ivets has a daughter who can play the harp

there is not fourth tale of krigi

The baroness Natasha Beritrova is fifty (as of KoS) and has lands near caryeva

Elke Marie Smit is from one of the most powerful Kerch families and is just 16 in KoS

Oncat is an orange tabby

Anya liked Joost a lot :( (I got way too attached to them at the start of SoC and was so sad + confused when they died lol)

david eats hard boiled eggs for his working days in the shops

‘Malyen’ is the Ravkan version of ‘Malcolm’ (very fitting)

Nikolai brought the kids at Keramzin toy boats + frequently sends Alina and Mal gifts 

The triumvirate would also visit them every feast of Sankt Nikolai too :)

star signs / birthdays (ik the gv constellations aren’t the same as ours, but idc):

Inej: Cancer (june 21st - july 22nd)

Kaz: Capricorn (december 22nd - january 19th)

Nina: Leo (july 23rd - august 22nd)

Jesper: Gemini (may 21st - june 20th)

Matthias: Taurus (april 20th - may 20th)

Wylan: virgo (august 23rd - september 22nd)

Kuwei: aries (march 21st - april 19th)

Darkling: aries

Nikolai is most likely either a gemini or cancer (but he could also be a Leo or Taurus). Whatever it is, he is a summer baby.

Alina and Mal have the same birthday (they were given the Duke’s birthday when they came to the orphanage)

heights:

Jesper is 6’2” - 6’3”

Kaz is 6′

Matthias is 6’4

Nina is 5’9”-5’10”

Inej is 5’3” - 5’4”

Alina is ’short’ (5’3”?)

Mal and the Darkling are ‘tall’ (tbf, like all the characters are tall >:( I want my short people rights)

Nikolai  (well, stumhond, but i think they’re the same height) is described by Jesper as tall (so 6’2”+?? why is everyone so tall??? I-)

Zoya is several inches shorter than nina (zoyalai height difference lets go)

Kuwei is slightly shorter than Wylan (who is about 5’8”?)

there’s definitely more, so if you made it this far and have any more, pls add to the list!

#grishaverse #six of crows #the grisha trilogy #the darkling #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #king of scars #rule of wolves #<< mild spoilers #zoyalai #kanej #etc. lol #brain dump

[cupofkey]

Bit of a random question but do you think there was more than one personification of Vietnam? I think (based on reading a couple wiki pages) that there was a whole thing with north and south kingdoms even before the Vietnam war so idk.. plus a lot of south ocs for the Vietnam war itself..... idk just like to hear your thoughts

ok whoa this is gonna be LONG. I want to fully explain the history so maybe people can get a better understanding of the whole thing, since I feel most people just don’t really know much about our history or believe in misinformation. gonna throw in a fair amount of personal thoughts too. so I’ll do that rather than only stating my hcs and opinions without context... so yeah big long response under the cut.

but thank you for asking! this is like... a very personally relevant topic to me? I myself am not a scholar of Vietnamese history and politics or anything, but I grew up in a family of them, along with generally being a Vietnamese-American person and a child of refugees, and so this stuff has always been really important to me. I’m gonna discuss 3 facets of the questions about who Vietnam is and who she represents:

1. pre-1700s Vietnamese history, stretching back through the times of pre-Chinese domination

2. colonial and 20th century Viet history, including the Vietnam War

3. not directly related to your question, but I think it’s relevant to the central concept of “who is Vietnam”: Vietnamese diaspora and my general thoughts on nationhood/representation

also cw for like. war and colonization and turmoil. anyways here’s the history plus my thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

1. pre-1700s Vietnam

origins of the Vietnamese people

I’ve mentioned this before, but I hc Vietnam (who I’ll just be calling Linh throughout this to refer to the character, for clarity’s sake) as a northerner. this is because the ancient Vietnamese people were a group of tribes (Yue, Nanyue) who lived across southern China and northern Vietnam, specifically around the Red River and its delta, where modern-day Hanoi sits. the modern Vietnamese Kinh ethnic group (~85%) are descended from them.

the Cham people (who are now an ethnic minority) controlled the central to south part of the country for over a thousand years— however, their culture is completely different. they were seafarers arriving from Borneo (Malaysia), and like many other Southeast Asian civilizations, adopted many aspects of Indian culture from language and religion to architecture and law. their kingdom, Champa, was very much ethnically, genetically, and culturally separated from the Vietnamese of the north until the 18th century.

What Actually Happened during this period (~250BCE - ~1650 CE)

several kingdoms and dynasties existed in that area around the Red River delta starting in the 3rd century BCE. however, Han-dynasty China invaded the area known as Nam Việt/Nanyue in 111 BCE and thus began a millennia of Chinese domination. this period was interspersed with various revolts, independent kingdoms, and constant clashes between the Vietnamese and their Chinese conquerors. many of our folk heroes are folk heroes because they said “fuck you” to the Chinese back in these days, including the famous Trung sisters.

Vietnam was very powerful and stable once it gained independence in 939 CE and established its first dynasty. this soon becomes the kingdom of Đại Việt in 968, which lasts until the 1800s. thus, this is the name Linh has been under for the most time across her life. you have to remember, though, that Nam Viet and later Dai Viet still only covered that north/central area of modern-day Vietnam at first!

Champa (green) was founded a few centuries after that pre-China period in the north, in the year 192 CE. it quickly absorbed Indic influences from its neighbors (such as the state of Funan, which was centered even further south on the Mekong Delta. religious influences included Hinduism and Islam.) the kingdom reached its peak through the 7th-10th centuries, although it gradually declined and was eventually completely taken apart by several events. notably: a war with the Vietnamese in the 15th century which they lost very badly, Dai Viet’s gradual southward expansion beginning in the 11th century, and annexations of their remaining principalities ending in the 17th century. thus, the ethnic Vietnamese eventually took over the full area we now know as Vietnam.

ok, so what about hetalia?

to answer your first question: no, I don’t personally hc there being more than one “Vietnamese” personification during this time. The Cham people as previously stated were one of several groups living in what’s now South Vietnam; however, they are very different in many ways, and so I don’t consider the personification of Champa to be Vietnamese. (this is unlike how North and South Korea are both Koreans.)

I do think there was a personification of Champa-- is, really, since the Cham people are one of the most significant ethnic minorities in Vietnam-Laos-Cambodia. whoever they are, they probably live in Cambodia, since their population is largest there (there was a large migration after the dissolving of Champa to neighboring areas).

I’ve mentioned this, but I headcanon that personifications represent their peoples and cultures as a whole rather than specific pieces of political leadership. for example, several power splits occurred during this time (can google Mac/Le dynasties or Trinh/Nguyen lords, where the country was divided by different ruling families) but I would personally consider Linh representing both sides of that.

2. colonial to 20th century Vietnam

French Indochina

I won’t go into too many details here, but basically the French split Vietnam into 3 colonies: Tonkin, the north; Annam, the central region; and Cochinchina, the south; each one had a slightly different status under French governance. Laos and Cambodia were later incorporated. throughout this period, the Vietnamese people were continuously revolting for independence. this nationalism sparked movements moving away from royalism/regressive goals and toward modernization and radicalization, and of course all of it was cracked down on by the French.

after Japan’s ruinous takeover of Indochina at the end of WWII and the abdication of the last Vietnamese emperor (essentially a French puppet), the French tried to reassert themselves, but a new group called the Việt Minh stood in their way. (this group was led by Ho Chi Minh, and had been formed as an anti-Japanese/French group composed of north-central Communists and Viet-nationalists. they had received some support from the US during WWII as well, and are the foundation for the current Vietnamese government today.)

the first and second Indochina Wars

the conflict between the Viet Minh and France/America/a state created by France called the State of Vietnam is referred to as the First Indochina War, and it mostly took place in the north (fka Tonkin). the Viet Minh eventually won the war. an agreement was reached with France to have the Viet Minh take the northern half of the country from the line of the 17th parallel to create North Vietnam, and the State of Vietnam would cover the southern half.

later known as South Vietnam or the Republic (of Vietnam), this state was backed by the US and was led by the infamous Ngô Đình Diệm, and lots of crazy shit happened on both sides. once again won’t go into it bc you can just google, but basically things were not going well and the conflict was not over by a long shot. millions fled the North for the South to escape Communist persecution.

starting in 1956, a group called the Việt Cộng, a group of armed communists, initiated a guerilla war to overthrow South Vietnam and “unite” Vietnam. this, of course, is the Second Indochina War, better known in the US as the Vietnam War, and was fought between North and South Vietnam. as time went by, the Viet Cong were boosted then essentially replaced by North Vietnamese troops (like, from the government, since the guerilla warfare was overlapped by more conventional tactics and they needed help.) the North was backed by the USSR, PRC, and Laotian/Khmer communists; the South was backed by the US, South Korea, and several others. by 1973, the US withdrew completely, and in 1975 Saigon (the capital of South Vietnam) was captured. this marked the end of the war, and the beginning of “reunification.”

personifying South Vietnam?

clearly, there was an incredible amount of turmoil and violence and complexity within these wars. I’ve given the briefest of rundowns, and hopefully it’s even somewhat adequate to express just how bad things were, to show just how serious this all is, and just how little of it I can capture in my own musings about country people.

that being said. do I think there were separate North/South personifications during this time?

my answer is... no. for several reasons: firstly, as previously stated, there has never really been a South Vietnam Personification in my view, and there’s not much of a historical precedent for it. the divide only seriously began when the French split the country, which tbf is a long time, but idk if it would affect Linh herself seeing how old she is. after all, South Vietnam only really existed as an independent state for about 20 years.

secondly, north and south have different cultures for sure, but I don’t believe they’re culturally different enough to warrant separate personifications. government wise is a different story, but culturally Vietnamese people don’t have a large divide, and most of us consider ourselves Vietnamese at the core, not South Vietnamese or North Vietnamese. will discuss exceptions in a second.

thirdly, this war is often seen as a civil war, and I’m of the personal hc (maybe inspired by (un)civil, tbh!) that if nations have different “manifestations” of the belligerents, they don’t have separate bodies. basically what I mean is I think both “North Vietnam” and “South Vietnam” were separate concepts, sure, but they both existed at the same time in Linh’s body. does that make sense? I hope it does.

thus, my opinion is that there wasn’t a South Vietnam personification, but rather as Vietnam began to fragment ideologically in the 1930s (with those revolts against the French), more and more internal conflict built up in Linh’s body. 

(and it’s not like that went away come 1975; no, I’d argue it became even worse. one must understand that there wasn’t just a north-south conflict in the realm of politics. this was a government-people conflict, too. if you look up land reform in North Vietnam, re-education camps, you’ll see what I mean. so I do think there was a lot of internal conflict for Linh throughout this whole period, just for many, many more reasons than is usually portrayed.)

3. who is Vietnam today?

well, it’s time for me to give my completely unsolicited opinions and thoughts even harder!

Vietnamese diaspora

this is a question I’ve been thinking about for a very long time, as a member of this very diaspora. does Linh represent her diaspora, too? do nations claim their diasporas? there are about 4.5 million overseas Vietnamese, with about half in the US, and that’s not a small number. so does Linh represent these people at all? especially if they were born in Vietnam and then moved, does she still represent them, or does someone else like Alfred? what about their children? is it about birth, even? residency, citizenship? self-identification? or just being inside the border?

the Viet diaspora also kind of throws a wrench into things because many of them are ardently nationalist, but specifically South Vietnamese nationalist. in places like France it’s more divided, but Viet-Americans especially are generally very antagonistic toward North Vietnam / the current Vietnamese government, as they literally left the country because of the regime. so do their nationalistic beliefs in the Republic create a personification? is this justification for some kind of cultural basis for a South Vietnam? I don’t think so, because at the end of the day it’s all for the sake of Vietnam period, not north or south. there are some northerners like this too. people aren’t monoliths. but...

really, just lots of questions. I don’t really have answers, honestly. I can throw out my personal feelings and thoughts, but it’s just hard to say, and I don’t think I’ll ever really have The Answers.

(( in my heart of hearts, though, I’d like to think... individuals and groups can be represented by many nations. I want to think they can feel anyone who considers themselves a part of that group, feel their pains and joys just as much as they do for their born-and-bred citizens. I like the idea of Linh deeply understanding her diaspora, because she was there when they were still a part of her, and she knows why they had to leave. and I think Alfred understands all the people living with him, and he ardently wants to make them welcome. I think he knows the dread of being alone, lost, without a home or family, looking to blaze a new trail, make a new home, find new comfort when everything else is lost... ))

a little bit about me

Viet-American. refugee family from both the North and South. literally all of the events I’ve mentioned, my family has been a direct part of somehow. I have direct relatives who were killed by the French, starved during the Japanese occupation, killed by North Vietnamese government efforts like land reform, killed by American bombs and Viet Cong, put into re-education camps, fled Vietnam by boat, plane, foot. I don’t think there’s a single Vietnamese person today who hasn’t been affected somehow. 

I’m not trying to write a sob story, just letting you know. I’m not pity-fishing, because that’s not what this needs, anyway. just showing that things are really complicated, and painfully shitty, and crazy, and just plain weird. Vietnamese nationalism is a really complicated topic in general due to all the conflicting pressures from all levels of society and so I hope you can see that a little better. I hope this was enlightening in some way! 

because I don’t think we see the Vietnamese perspective enough on everything that happened in the 20th century. it’s always the American, or French, or Chinese, but not ours... when it’s our story. so I hope I could tell it, maybe do it a bit of justice, who knows.

final words

writing this has really made me think about this one song. it’s called Gia Tài Của Mẹ, “A Mother’s Legacy”. here’s the lyrics+translation.

it’s very typical patriotic South Vietnamese music, by the poet Trịnh Công Sơn and sung by the singer Khánh Ly. many of Trinh Cong Son’s songs directly address the Vietnamese identity and collective trauma from the events of the 20th century. my dad used to sing them around the house all the time, play CDs, the first songs I learned on the guitar were TCS’s... I think they’re a really key part of thinking about the Southern Vietnamese identity, and this song especially touches on a lot of the history and emotions I addressed.

so go give it a listen, or look at the lyrics. I think it really covers this topic nicely. and let me know if I should talk more about these songs, because I think lots of them are really relevant to my thoughts...

ah, my thoughts, completely unasked for, but thank you for opening the door! please let me know what you think, if you learned anything, if you want to hear more specifically hetalia stuff abt Vietnam, idk, I would really like to hear from anyone reading this period. I also put a lot of time into putting this together dkfjsdkfj so yea any interaction is appreciated. this is something really important to me, I guess is what I’m trying to say. and if you made it this far I’m sending you lots of love, thank you <3

#hetalia #hws #aph #hws vietnam #my thoughts #my hcs #rant #ive wanted to do this for so long #so here we are #idk but yea i would #REALLY #appreciate hearing any thoughts or suggestions or add ons idk #i would like to not be yelling into the void on this one #no pressure doe #just trying to talk about shit ya know #express things #and this is a rly important thing for me to express so #lmk if u wanna hear more even #lol i doubt it but #yeaa thanks 4 reading!

[mallowstep]

(Reed anon again)

Just--wtf did Riverclan do with Reedpaw when everyone was rescued? Even in Canon? Like, poor fucking Mistyfoot--two of her kits are with her, but her third and final kit is still in enemy territory, still underneath Tigerstar's paw, Blackfoot is still his mentor. If even a *hint* of Reedpaw's true parentage got out, he'd be fucked. He and Leopardstar would both probably be dead, Leopard carrying Tiger's legacy or not. Tbh I wouldn't doubt Tigerstar'd be petty enough just to kill all of Riverclan itself. Like...Greystripe, you fucking LIVED in Riverclan for a few fucking MOONS. How do you forget or at least NOT recognize/remember the queen that nursed your kits' own kits? You told Firestar you visited them every chance you had. Like...Grey, I get you were worried for you daughter, but dude...you left a child who you saw as a baby to a toddler (thereabouts) under a war criminal. Someone you KNOW had a subordinate who was not against poisoning kits with deathberries. Someone who tried to kill his OWN apprentice. Then, in the Leopard AU, this kid is stuck in the apprentices den during the rescue. Leopardstar and Mudfur cannot get him out without alerting Shadowclan Apprentices. They chose Mistyfoot and Featherpaw's heath and safety (which, at this point it's better than nothing.) And Misty has to choose Feather when Mudfur leads them out of their prison. He then gets to see the absolute horror of his LEADER, murdered, loose a life, to this Monster, see her go through what his mother did, only that IT'S far, far, worse than anything that'd been done at this point. He sees his clan's medicine cat turn against their leader, verbally agreeing and harassing her...just... this poor boy.. In Canon, Misty Au, Leopard AU it all sucks. Dark AU, not so much--still horrific, but Blackfoot is Reed's father in that one, so as his mentor Reed's safety is somewhat assured had Tigerstar not realized Reedpaw was Misty's kit, and that Misty's kits had not all died.

oh my god anon why r u so Damn Good at making me feel things

okay okay okay hm. i'm just gonna -- yeah i'm just gonna put the whole thing under a cut bc i'm a lil too tired to do the thing where i start with the pg-13 and below stuff and then do a cut.

cw: sexual assault, parent being involved in sexual assault of child

heck if i know. i'm like. 100% sure mistyfoot's kits were forgotten about. they were nameless characters for a Long time. reedpaw isn't in any of the allegiances for riverclan in tpb. i...like. i've read tpb how many times? and i honestly didn't know mistyfoot had kits until i checked out the warriors wiki and was like. oh. she had kits? with blackclaw? what the fuck?

i wouldn't put money on it, but i have a feeling the scene involving mistyfoot and her kits could be read as riverclan kits in general. again, wouldn't put money on that, it's just a hunch.

anyway, i kind of just. mistyfoot could have had another litter in the year between tpb and tnp, or during po3, or literally any other time and then we wouldn't have the reedpaw problem (tm).

WAIT

WAIT WAIT WAIT I WAS LOOKING AT THE WARRIORS WIKI AND

HE'S AN APPRENTICE IN TNP

what the FUCK

he's fucking like. several YEARS old. he's 2 and a half years old and he's a fucking apprentice oh my god just give mistyfoot a second litter it is not that hard.

actually. since mistyfoot's litter isn't named...new hc that reedwhisker is a different litter? hm. anyway.

my tangent on the reedpaw problem aside;

oh yeah, he's so fucking dead. imo prob not him and leopardstar -- riverclan would Riot if their leader was killed, and tbh, so would part of shadowclan -- but him and blackclaw. damn.

and yeah? idk? god. i don't know. tbf he's not in prison i don't even know. altho. actually, to give greystripe some credit -- the fact that mistyfoot doesn't ask to go back for him and how risky the riverclan rescue is, i think "not going back" is actually a reasonable choice.

honestly do we have an erin statement that reedwhisker is part of the same litter as prim and co. it's not on the wiki. i want to know. because i think everyone just assumed he was and -- maybe there is a statement but i want to see it.

because mistyfoot is not the type to abandon her kit. like. what? no. mistyfoot? mistyfoot? my brother just died but i am fucking fine get me the hell out of here mistyfoot? no i know i'm starving but like hell you can apprentice featherpaw to someone else mistyfoot? you're telling me SHE would leave a kit behind without so much as a word about him? fat fucking chance.

in conclusion, unless someone can provide evidence an erin said reedwhisker was part of mistyfoot's first litter, i'm going to assume the intention was that he was a second litter.

and back to the actual topic, now that i'm done for real hopefully.

yeeep. he can't be rescued. and -- mistyfoot has very few choices here. featherpaw is dying, reedpaw is safe for the moment, she won't get another chance. she's not happy about it -- she misses him so terribly much -- but she doesn't. yeah. god. that angst. i hope like. someone somehow just Tries to let reedpaw know it wasn't voluntary.

(i'm not Much One for "you left me you didn't love me" angst if you Can't tell. a pinch of it for flavour, but not as a main plot line, y'know? nothing wrong with it it's very good i just don't like writing it.)

god -- god. in my mind tigerstar takes the life from leopardstar privately bc riverclan would fucking riot but just. reedpaw realizes what's happening. so he follows bc of course he does. he's not the reason tigerstar knows what's going on, but he thinks he is.

and he's there hiding and he sees tigerstar kill leopardstar and hears him tell mudfur what's going to happen and he's sitting there in a bush or something just trying not to so much as twitch because he's so dead if tigerstar finds him. he's so fucking dead.

so he just sits there until long after tigerstar and leopardstar and mudfur have left and when he gets back to camp everyone wonders where he went and he can't explain.

and it feels terrible but he realizes tigerstar is still gloating over everything because as pissed as he is that he lost mistyfoot -- now he's truly taken out every thread of riverclan's leadership.

(frankly no i still think tigerstar's most effective control method for riverclan would be to tell stonefur that if he messes up, he'll kill the apprentices and/or mistyfoot and/or rape mistyfoot, and do leopard au on leopardstar, therefore getting all 3 riverclan leaders in blind obedience to him. he'd have to be much more discrete about leopardstar, maybe convince the clans it's a political thing, i'm not sure. the point is, nothing would Visibly be wrong, all three leaders are just going for this, and so of course riverclan would go along with it. but tigerstar's too much of a prideful asshole to appreciate another culture in enough depth to manipulate them effectively.)

anyway. so reedpaw realizes like -- ah yes. i'm escaping punishment because tigerstar is distracted. and -- god. yeah. oh my god.

and at first like -- he doesn't like. witness anything. tigerstar has some sense of subtly. not a ton -- but enough. direct evidence would be a problem. so no, reedpaw is just sitting with this knowledge in his head. mistyfoot escaped and she was carrying tigerstar's kits (was she? he hadn't seen her he misses her so much he hopes prays she's safe), so now leopardstar is going to.

and the thing about letting things sit like that is that the brain is very, very powerful.

(He called my mother a whore, Reedpaw thinks, and he wants to throw up when he remembers it.

Tigerstar and Leopardstar and Mudfur are having a conversation again and Reedpaw thinks of how Tigerstar would wrap his tail around Mistyfoot, like they were mates, and he wonders what Tigerstar would say if he didn't have to pretend.)

so. you know. yeah. good angst oh my god.

and now mudclaw has flipped from -- one of his best protectors to a great enemy. see, here's the thing. tigerstar only tells mudfur he's going to make him watch. leopardstar ain't dead that long. so reedpaw doesn't know what shadepelt knows and shadepelt would tell him but if shadepelt tries to talk to reedpaw...bad for the both of them.

and reedpaw is around blackfoot and blackfoot is a good guard and how long until -- reedpaw is asked to tell blackfoot something while blackfoot is on guard and he hears mudfur say, "You're a slut like your mother" and he -- can't. maybe he freezes, can't remember what he was supposed to tell blackfoot.

("Spit it out," Blackfoot says, but Reedpaw can't remember why he's even here.

"Even your own father thinks you're just a useless whore," Tigerstar says. He's not speaking loud -- Reedpaw would have to strain to hear the words if his entire world hadn't narrowed down to them.

"Reedpaw," Blackfoot growls. "Spit it out.")

hm. yes. god. bad. good. damn.

and yes the dark au seems like. once again "the angst is very different so i don't know how to rank its magnitude because emotions don't work like that" but. on one hand -- his dad. protection. safety. good. on the other -- his dad really did let two of his siblings die and his mom get raped, huh.

hm. good stuff.

#ask #anon #reed au #misty au #leopard au #dark au #yeah we hit all of them #mine

[jesstielle]

okay i have Feelings about NEO: TWEWY and nobody to shout them at because literally nobody else I know plays it which is truly a crime; the original twewy remains one of my favourite games to this day.  but anyway.  massive NEO TWEWY spoilers inbound:

First of all it truly is a miracle that this game even exists.  I never once actually believed we’d get a sequel.  Let alone one this good!! It is really, really good!!!

Things I Enjoyed:

- The gameplay.  Whoo boy.  Up to about 4 team members, anyway.  It’s fast paced, button mashing satisfaction, that manages to keep elements from the original game while still being fresh and fun, if not entirely chaotic, which is why after 4 characters, it was a bit like, ‘okay, chill, let us switch out or something’ lmao

- The new characters.  Although I feel like we leave the game not knowing as much about them as I would like, the new team are really great, and Nagi in particular really shone in terms of character grown.  Rindo.. I feel like I know as little about him now as I did at the start :|a Maybe I just missed something.

I honestly found the teams and their leaders kinda forgettable >>;; Although the heel-face turn on Motoi was pretty great.  I needed more from Kanon to feel anything when she, yknow.

The new reapers were... a mixed bunch. Shoka was fantastic, Susukichi was... a bit much in English, great in Japanese, Tsugumi was great but didn’t get enough screen time (unless she gets more post game, I dunno yet) Shiba annoyed the fuck outta me, Kaie was alright.. the others... meh.  They don’t hold up to Kariya and Uzuki. And obviously Kubo sucks ass pfft

- The reappearing characters.  of course i loved them.  i got a hit of serotonin every time one appeared on my screen. neku my son. josh  the reapers.  i was never a huge minamimoto stan lmao but he was fun. even curry don. but some were DIRELY underutilised which i WILL COME BACK TO

- THE MUSIC.  twewy cannot fail on its music, it’s amazing, it’s glorious, it’s multi faceted, it goes hard. and adding in Beat’s psyche, a rhythm mini game acting as the fast walk button???? yes. yes yes yes yes.  yessssssss. 

- The graphics.  Mostly.  Everything looked beautiful, and HD, and the character designs were great - not toooooooooo Nomura but Nomura enough, yknow? And the occasional chibi faces were great lol.  The chaotic battles sometimes caused lag which... I mean, they coulda given us the option to turn off some of the animations or damage graphics lmao but hey.  the forced perspective on shibuya was a bit off occasionally but it was how the original game did it and it’s all for the ~aesthetic~ so hey.  And it was great seeing some of the original locations looking so much more fleshed out

- The Localisation.  Personally, I think the translators struck a perfect balance that made the kids seem like they’d fit right into today’s culture.  It wasn’t forced, it wasn’t ‘look at us we are Teenagers’, it was right on the mark.  And it was really, really interesting hearing just how different the Japanese VA lines were compared to the English translations.  They really went all out and it paid off, imo.

Dislikes: (i haven’t read the secret reports yet tho)

- UNDERUTILISATION OF THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS - now, look, okay, I’m biased.  I admit it.  I’m a Josh and Neku stan lmao, so I was looking forward to seeing them the whole game.  And as it went on and on and I realised I wouldn’t be until much later, it bummed me out.  The bait n’ switch with Beat was funny at first, and I enjoyed it a lot, until I realised that yeah, that’s what they’re going with.  Beat’s probably my least favourite partner from the original (sorry) but even disregarding that, it annoys me that they gave him like 10,000x more screen time than even Neku. 

Not to mention Shiki and Joshua!  Josh in particular I could write a whole essay on how pissed I am.  The lost potential.  Nobody mentioning him, ever, once.  Until he just sorta shows up and says a few things.  It makes NO SENSE, he’s the fucking composer, Neku and Beat worked with him, why aren’t they questioning his whereabouts when Shibuya’s turning to shit??????’  I just?????? I had low hopes for Josh content tbf but I am still disappointed :( And naught but one singular Hanekoma mention, as well.  Sigh.

Shiki, it’s a shame she doesn’t appear more, she certainly could have - I can think of like 5 ways off the top of my head - having her as a partner would have also been extremely good.

Neku at least we got..... half a week with. and as a PC.  And like, I know it’s not supposed to be about them, but throw us a bit more than cheap fanservice, yknow. And Kariya and Uzuki were great too.

- why, oh why, was every single team lackey male????  they couldn’t be arsed to make female designs????? it baffled me.

- SO. MUCH. SHIBUYA. TRAVERSING.  I don’t remember if it was that bad in the original?! But oh my god lol.  I think a lot of it was padding.  Sure felt like it.  Paired with the slightly hand hold-y mission progression cutscenes, they coulda cut a bunch of those out.

Other Stuff:

- The voice acting - fantastic in Japanese, okay in English, except for the returning characters?? didn’t sound great??? in english??? I was hyped to turn English back on for Beat but.... nah. Nahhh.  Nagi’s English VA was absolutely the best imo.

- They nailed the feel of the old game without totally copying it - the food, clothes, general aesthetic, music.  That said, it still felt a little too tied to the original.  Ironic considering the rant above I know lmao but... yeah.  The player psyches were a nice touch but I feel like it needed something to set it apart a lil more from its predecessor. 

- I didn’t realise A New Day existed until literally today and I wish I had seen it before I played Neo.  Now I know who Coco is lmao.  And Shinjuku’s erasure was part of that too! arghhhh. Nomura stop burying plot points in other things.  I’m a DS OG dont do this to me

- Rindo’s time travel power was cool but jumping back to the same point like 3 or 4 times in some cases got old

- You could really feel the KH3 energy of ‘play 30 hours until something or someone pivotal finally appears’ lol.  Nomuraaaaa. 

... anyway.

TL;DR good game, needed more Josh, also needs more fans please

#twewy #neo twewy spoilers #neo twewy #yoshiya kiryu #neku sakuraba #spoilers