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#there’s a lot I wanna say but then the tags are gonna be too long
lvl10gojocoper · 2 days
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Motion Sickness: Chapter 1
Synopsis. Slowburn-ish, Heavy angst, pining because you're losers, inaccuracies and stuff, mature language. Note: lots of plot building in the first parts :)
Pairings. Gojo x Reader
a/n: My first JJK fic or work in general. I'm a slow reader of the manga but I've seen spoilers already. Safe to say I wanna avoid acknowledging Shibuya Arc from existing and onwards. Maybe a bit (or a lot) of inaccuracies but let me cope!! + idk how to tag on tumblr so yolo.
Chp.1 Chp.2
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It's hard to breathe.
I only had one thought I could fully register at that moment. My lungs consume as much air as it could in the short moment I'm so graciously allowed.
I palm at the rough ground and watch as the asphalt's gray turns darker from his shadow. Tall and menacing. My heart beats faster when the sound of his footsteps gets louder, closer. I look up—I was right, he is close.
His face is unreadable , looking down on me. I stay looking up at him, even through the bandages covering his eyes, I know he sees me. He sees me very clearly. Neither of us choose to look away.
I grunt, forced to look down as the pressure of his foot crushes my hand under all his weight. I taste blood in my mouth. I don't know if its from any previous blows I took before or is if it's from biting my lip too hard.
Fingers slip under my chin, pulling my face up slowly to meet his gaze. "You yield now." He said with finality. He stared down at me, I assume darkly, but I hated the stupid blindfold he had on. I hated how he could read me completely while I constantly searched his face. I felt bare before him, powerless.
I roughly pull myself from his grip, "Fuck off." I hook his leg with the back of mine, forcing him to bend out of balance. Unfortunately, it allows him to knee me on the shoulder. I look up at him towering over me, for a second I feel like I found his eyes.
The second passes long enough for me to hook my arm on his calf and ruin his balance. He grunts as he falls on his back, flat and unguarded. I take the opportunity to lock him between my legs and push all my weight on his knees. I go for his face, my fist coming down to meet his cheek but he gets a hold of my wrist. I scream almost, frustration building in my chest.
He flips over almost too easily, my body now trapped between his own legs. My other fist aims at his face but he stops it with his own palm with almost no effort, squeezing then pushing both my restrained limbs to my chest. I hiss as the raw skin of my knuckles are even more crushed in his palm. He catches the way I bite my cheek to stop myself from making any noise, his grip softens. I take my chance to try and swing at him but he holds my wrists to the sides of my head.
His chest is heaving, breathing finally as labored and as heavy as my own. The bandages covering his eyes are loose like the platinum hair falling on his face. "Enough," He says.
He knew how much I hated when people told me what to do. I try my hardest to wriggle away, a pathetic attempt. He squeezes my wrists in almost a plea, still I fight it.
"You're a liar." I mutter quietly. His hands slip from my wrists, I slap and throw weak and clumsy punches at his chest. I keep punching, and he lets me. "You're such a sick fucking liar." I cursed, strained and broken.
When my hands slow down and eventually stop, he falls to the side, we both breathe. "I—" He finds the words, the lies to say, maybe. "I'm sorry."
The air is still, and the world is quiet. I stare angrily at the purple sky, almost blue. "One day..." I used to like looking at it. I waited till it turned bright blue and then search stars when they would appear, mapped out and scattered. I look to my side, searching again. I meet his gaze when he turns to me but I cannot see it. I cannot see him. My chest begins to feel heavy. That's when I realize I'll never be able to as long as he won't let me. "One day, I'm gonna kill you."
He only scowls, "You're impossible."
"...Don't you think so, Miss?"
I'm snapped back to reality when the train's inertia pushes me forward, forcing me to hold onto the handle in front of my seat. I blink myself out of it and turn, looking at the kind looking elderly man holding the newspaper. My gaze lowers down to read the headline written in bold, "6 dead, 4 missing near one of Tokyo's Red Light Districts."
I look back up at the man, he waits patiently for my answer. I blink again, fuck what am I doing. I curse at myself, "Shoot, I didn't get that. I seem to be disassociating or something," I laugh to myself, "I'm so sorry."
The man just smiles at me, "It's alright, dear. I seem to be bothering you at the wrong time."
I immediately feel bad and urge the man to continue, "No, Please. I insist, What was it about again?"
He clears his throat and flips to the page of the newspaper and shows me what had gathered his interest. "Well it's the headline. It's just, it doesn't make sense someone could do all of that then just disappear without a trace."
I nod my head as I listen to his theories, "I supposed it is a bit strange. But maybe it was more than one person?"
The man huffs, "Well maybe. They also say it could be motivated but it says here the bodies found were merely remains, scattered in a dark abandoned building. Who would leave these normal people's remains, who seem to not be connected whatsoever, if it were motivated? Seems fishy..."
He squints his eyes as if he goes deeper in thought. Just when I think he's finished, he continues. "And isn't it strange that no one had seen anything, in a place as lit up from day and night like that place in particular, surprisingly no one had seen those people go through all that. So it's just simply impossible to not catch anything, Don't you think, Miss? Or maybe that's just me..." He taps his chin in even deeper thought.
A small smile makes its way to my lips, even if it definitely wasn't the type of subject that's supposed to bring this kind of reaction, I couldn't help it. "Wow, you seem very invested."
The old man just chuckled at himself and nodded, "Apologies, It's just that, ever since I was a boy, some of these stories around Japan—Tokyo in particular—would appear in and out of the newspapers but then after a period of time, nothing would come out of it. True crime, things as such. It always fascinated me."
I agree, entertaining him with my own thoughts. Afterwards, I asked him with the same enthusiasm as he spoke with me, "Is that why you're on a train to Tokyo? To explore the stories of the unknown?"
He shook his head, folding the newspaper in half. "Oh, no. I'm here to visit my granddaughter in Asakusa. However, we may be both considered as pioneers of true crime and such. Now that I've talked to you, it'll be easier to talk to her!" He says proudly. There's a pause in the air until he himself asks, "And you, why are you here? Visiting as well? Maybe you're also here to indulge yourself in the stories Tokyo has to offer?"
For a while I think about it, and the train slows down, "Something in between, I suppose."
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memento-rory · 23 hours
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Ted determined to win hometown reader back (they broke up due to ted becoming busy with his YouTube career), she’s in town for whatever reason
reader who has only wanted him but he’s not gonna win her over that easy
ik this man would pout a small bit when he realizes the LA charm is not working how he thought it would 🤚🏼
oh LOOOOOVE THIS
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when you and ted broke up, it was mostly amicable but… truthfully, pretty devastating. it was hard to ever get to spend time with him due to his youtube career taking off, and when he finally took the plunge and moved to LA, having to leave you behind, everything went off the rails. neither of you were ever able to line up your schedules to see each other, and ted grew too frustrated and decided maybe it would be best to stop disappointing each other. you agreed, and went your separate ways. you guys would still talk occasionally, but eventually even that fizzled out.
you’re in LA for a vacation with some of your friends, and one night, one of them says, “hey, isn’t this where ted lives? maybe you should call him up.”
you shake your head, telling them you have no interest in opening up old wounds. it’s been hard enough to move on, and you’ve never done it successfully, ted still taking up all of the space in your heart. they nod in understanding, but later that evening they tag you in some photos with the location set to los angeles, and not even 10 minutes later, you get a text from ted.
> you’re in LA?
you start to answer him, but decide against it, just for an hour or two. he’s not going to win that easy, especially when he couldn’t ever make time for you before. suddenly he has time? yeah, okay.
> (y/n/n) i literally saw you typing
> let me treat you to lunch
he’s triple texted you. he’s serious.
you agree to meet him for lunch, but you keep the chit chat to a minimum before going to sleep. you can catch up tomorrow.
the restaurant he chooses is fancy — too fancy for you, especially on your vacation budget. you eye the four dollar signs on the google result, shaking your head. he has to know you couldn’t even dream of affording something like this. he’s pulling out all the stops.
you arrive before ted does, and you loiter in front of the restaurant, scrolling through some random app on your phone so you don’t feel so awkward.
you jump as you feel two hands cover your eyes, cold metal stinging your skin. ted wears rings now? you turn around and see ted, grinning down at you. he’s dressed nicer than you’ve ever seen before (you suppose the tweets about ted being in his fashion era weren’t lying) and he smells divine, no doubt rocking some cologne you’ve never heard of.
“long time no see, beautiful.” he says, and you blush, all of your dormant feelings for ted suddenly flooding back after 5 whole words. (it’s a little embarrassing)
“hey, teddy.” you greet him, and his smile grows even wider. he holds his arms out for a hug, and you oblige, but you don’t linger. as much as you would love to just melt right into him like you used to do, it’s a bad idea. ted still lives in LA, he’s still so busy, and nothing is going to change that.
ted’s smile wavers just slightly as you pull away from him much sooner than he would have liked, but he shrugs it off. “you wanna head in?”
you nod, and ted extends his arm out, signaling for you to lead the way. when you get up to the hostess stand, ted gives his name for the reservation, and you’re led to a table and take a seat across from each other.
the lights are dim and soft music plays from unseen speakers. there’s a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice. the atmosphere is downright romantic, and you eye ted, who had said he just wanted to “catch up.” ted looks a little guilty, but it’s clear he doesn’t actually feel bad about it.
“look, i’ve missed you a lot, okay?” ted sighs, “i just wanted to do something nice for you.”
“well, thank you.” you say, and ted leans forward, resting on crossed arms. “okay, tell me what you’ve been up to. i feel like i have no idea what’s going on with you these days.”
you bring him up to speed, and he listens intently, interjecting with questions here and there.
“are you seeing anyone?” he blurts out, as if he can’t stand not knowing anymore.
you give him a bit of a smirk, just teasing him for a moment, before shaking your head. “no, I’m not seeing anyone. are you?”
“no,” ted answers, maybe a bit too fast, but he’s well past the point of playing it cool. “don’t get me wrong, i tried, but…” he trails off, leaning back against the booth.
“but?” you prod.
“come on, (y/n),” ted looks over at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “you know you’re the only girl for me.”
you feel your cheeks growing pink. “really?”
“fuckin’… yeah, really.” ted answers, bordering on exasperation — not at you, but at the idea that he’d ever find another person like you. “it’s always been you, ever since we were kids.”
“then why did you leave?” you can’t help but ask. he’s saying all the right things, but it doesn’t change what happened. “why didn’t you ask me to come with you?”
“you had your own life. you were going to school, you were building your career. i couldn’t ask you to just drop all of that to follow my pipe dream.” ted says, leaning forward again. “and truthfully, i thought you’d hate it out here.”
“it hasn’t been so bad so far.” you murmur, and ted’s eyebrows shoot up. “yeah?” he asks, and you nod.
“come live with me.” he blurts out, and it’s your turn to raise your eyebrows. “there’s a branch of your company here, you can transfer and we can be together, like we should be.”
“ted…” you sigh, shaking your head. “my whole family is back home. i can’t just up and leave them. i mean, when would i see them?”
“i’ll pay for flights. whenever you want. or they can come stay in the guest room.”
“and what if i can’t transfer?”
“i make enough money to support us. i’ll take care of you.”
god, he’s making a lot of good points. all you’ve ever wanted was him, for about 90% of your life, to be exact. the two of you grew up together, sharing all of your firsts, sharing all the tough times you’ve gone through. you realize you’re only really fighting him because you’re scared it will all go up in flames again.
“…okay.” you finally say, and ted beams, but hold your hand up to stop his cheering, “but if you break my heart again, teddy, i swear to god—“
“i won’t. fuck, i swear i won’t, never again.” he rambles, and after you accept his promise, he’s all but leaping over the table to take your face in his hands, kissing you like he’s never kissed you before.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 3 months
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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vynnyal · 14 days
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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seventh-district · 24 days
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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dishsaop · 2 months
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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tastymarbar · 3 months
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Kenji seems like the type of guy who would ask p3-kun to practice kiss with him. you know like, no homo and all that. just two dudes kissing for "practice".
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daz4i · 4 months
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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luckyfiona · 1 year
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“ you can’t or you won’t? ”
                  ❝ ——  Oh. Hm. ❞
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                                          ( Uh-oh. )
Lawless Lucky talked a big game around the bonfire last night. She wasn't too oblivious to pick up on the fact that her being scandalized and upset by the boys' violent sides was beginning to grate on them. So, when all of the boys were talking about the gruesome things they'd like to do to the people who made their lives hard in The Other Place, she forced herself to laugh along, and even took the opening to spin a tale about how she was planning to poison her old employer's food. And, oh, those rotten pirates? Well, she would do the same to them if she had a chance.
So busy seizing on the moment, she didn't consider that she would actually have to put her money where her mouth was.
It would shatter the illusion of Neverland as her luxurious, peaceful, happily-ever-after paradise if she had to see any real carnage with her own two eyes, much less deal any of it herself. But here was dear Peter, ever the altruist, granter of all her wishes, suggesting she come along to their next raid of the Jolly Roger. Lucky's pretty sure he knows this is out of her comfort zone, if he's paid any attention to her — and he does, of course he does. Why else would he go through the trouble of bringing all of these troubled souls to the island if he didn't empathize and care about all of them, right? She can't imagine any motive but love and sympathy. — It's funny, considering how anxiously, meticulously sensitive she tries to be to his boundaries. There was something maybe endearingly boyish about his disregard for hers.
She reasons that she should be grateful for his investment in keeping things fresh and interesting. This is what a sensible, healthy relationship looked like, right? Balancing energies was a major tenet of Celtic magic— it was the key to harmony and prosperity. A passive, supportive person worked best with a person who was a little more... challenging. It would be too stagnant or too chaotic any other way. She gives a fond half-smile to her love, her true love, convinced he's only looking out for her best interests. She would find a way to explain to him that this doesn't really interest her... another time.
               ❝ Well, I suppose I would... ❞ 
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Lucky? Morally opposed to it? No sir, you've got the wrong lassie. You must be thinking of that prude from Chicago, Fiona Comisky, who used to dote and cry and sermonize Nate Larsen any time he got injured in a fight with some low-class brute he should've run away from. She had no qualms with clodhopping bullies who started barbaric fights. Didn't find it tasteless in the slightest.
She was opposed to tagging along for much more modest, supportive, team-playering reasons, to be certain. The same reasons why she declined Nate's offer to teach her how to use a bow and arrow: why would the Princess of Neverland get her dainty, dignified, not-at-all-labor-calloused hands dirty learning how to hunt when her boys got such a thrill out of slaying those innocent animals?
                ❝ But why bring a girl along to steal all of the attention?                        I'm not as strong or as sneaky as you. I may ruin the... Element of surprise. Or... distract everyone when they have to keep me out of harm's way. And there’s really— there's so much I could do back here. I thought I should make some sort of victory banquet for the boys to come back to. ......Besides... ❞
Lucky's fingers sidled over to his, tips brushing over his knuckles, as if timidly asking permission to show tenderness before making any sudden moves. Peter was a bit strange about physical touch. She could never tell if he was enjoying it, or if she maybe wasn't doing it right. When he didn't immediately swat her away, she gingerly placed her palms in his, intuitively careful not to scare him away like a baby deer too shy for human touch, or startle him like a scorpion ready to plunge a stinger into her at any moment. She has experience with his type. She has nothing if not patience and willpower to break through to them. She has hope that one day she'll be able to fully embrace him. If she's really as lucky as everybody says, maybe she'd be able to fully-fully "embrace" him.
                ❝ I love when you tell me all about your thrilling adventures. You get such this 𝓅𝓊𝒸𝓀𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓉𝓌𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓁𝑒 in your eye... It's the same one you had when you first found me— the one that I saw and thought, 'Oh, there it is: my 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫. At last, I can see it!' ❞ 
She boldly ventures to show a little more affection while she pleads, but not enough to push him too far, just enough to remind him that he can touch her back any time he's ready. (If he's rallying her to come out of her comfort zone, maybe this is a good time to encourage him to be a little more adventurous, too.) Her fingers, ever-so-lightly cupped over his hands, gently lace themselves into the spaces between his. She's not naïve enough to believe she's going to get out of raids forever. She just wants to experience feeling truly loved and close to him, just one time, before she has to see him at his absolute nastiest.
           ❝ Oh, Peter, won't you please let me see my 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 again when you fill me in later? ❞ 
( Won't you please let her be so lucky as to skip out on this? )
╳ — 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ! // ACCEPTING.
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shrimp1y · 2 years
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sorry to the few ppl on my dash I am not spam liking on ur blog ur just the only ones on my dash
#krill livestream#and i like. stuff. when i like them. bc im like Hehehehe I will use this button as i9ntended#my autism knows no bound i wish I was funny and charismatic online but no. i am just as strange as irl. its also bc ive decided to unmask#more so I'm not like. Forcibly overthinking my reactions and talkin anymore. so what if I just talk to myself in tags most of the time.#makes me happy when people see it and give me a little like (button used as intended)#like i definitely have a reason for mumbling to myself in public instead of journalling its bc i do wanna be seen and i do want to interact#i am just. like this. its better than when i used to argue with people on the internet for social interactions#basically i just. dont try too hard to micromanage social interactions anymore. this means i might end up saying stupid impolite shit or#do a lot of social faux pas but i hope. nice people understand. like im not gonna be rude on purpose im not trying to be flippant#like as much as nd folks thrive online even within nd circles there are so many social cues and rules that can be unfamiliar#ngl i have many times deleted a reblog with long ass tags bc i was like wait what if im overstepping. but i dont reblog it#bc im like well. feels untrue if i reblog without thoughts when i do have thoughts#nothin against op or anyone im just. i . im like I do Like It but yknow better to keep my tags to myself#bc sometimes they are terrible mind you like i fully agree if you see smth ignorant come outta my mouth and ur like hey.#keep that to urself. id be like banger thanks sorry filter doesnt work
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remi-thirsts · 27 days
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𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?
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pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate) summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world) content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc) wc: 1.4k
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♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.
"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.
"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.
"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,
"What is your favorite position?"
Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.
"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"
"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.
"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"
♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.
Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.
"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.
"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'
"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.
"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."
"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.
"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.
-----
You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.
When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.
He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.
♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.
"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.
"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."
That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.
It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.
"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.
"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.
"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.
Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.
"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.
"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.
"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.
The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.
"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.
"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.
"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.
"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."
♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.
A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.
Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.
The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.
"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.
"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.
"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"
Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."
More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.
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divider: @/plutism
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chuulyssa · 2 months
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🇨​​ 🇴 ​​🇳 ​​🇫​​ 🇪 ​​🇸​​ 🇸 ​​🇮 ​​🇴 ​​🇳​ !
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BSD MEN REACTING TO A CONFESSION.
↷ A/N ─ yes new divider again because im indecisive as heck
★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , atsushi , fyodor
!! TAGS ─ mentions of suicide, insecurities, overall fluff
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"i love you."
ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.
promptly replies with, "i love you too."
he'll lean into you with an amused smile because he lowkey thinks you're joking
when he realizes you're serious about it he'll immediately stop the stupid grin
and look at you with this sincere look you've never seen on his face before
he'll hold your hand and everything while repeating "i love you too," for a second time, only this time he's serious about it too
definitely asks for double suicide later
"You know it's my motto to unalive myself with a beautiful woman. How lucky of you to have been bestowed upon this honour."
"Mhm."
"I'll say yes if you join me in a double suicide," he asks with puppy eyes.
"Dazai, you already said yes."
"I'll say it again!"
​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.
he stops abruptly and half chokes on his expensive ass wine
poor boy is really confused 😭 because "where did that come from??"
he tries to play it cool but he's literally SCREAMING inside
we all know he's been betrayed a lot of times in the past so he feels hesitant about it
will decide to give it a shot tho
100% calls dazai to brag about it
"You may be taller or whatever (as if that matters in the first place) but were you the one able to steal her heart? Eh? I think not!"
You chuckle hearing him update his rival of his new relationship status.
"And anyway," he raises a glass of wine for toast. "I'd like to thank my good looks, good looks and did I mention my good looks (?) for making tonight the happiest night ever."
ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.
"i know."
he has always observed every single thing about you - how you behave around others vs how you behave around him, the little times you look at him like you want his attention etc etc
he's known about this since like soooo long
he defo also knew when where and how you were gonna confess
went to yosano for tips to react to it and bought you chocolates and stuff. he thinks it'll make you happy :D
eats all of that himself even tho he originally bought it for you but you let it slide because he's a cutie patootie
"You could at least have been a bit subtle about it," he says, munching on his chips. "I mean, anyone who saw you would've been able to guess. I didn't even need my ability for this!"
He lifts his chin up thoughtfully, fingers ripping open another packet of snacks. "You should be grateful I'm not a snitch. Eh, well," he shrugs, "You're now dating the greatest detective in the world! Congratulations!"
ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.
"eh???"
like chuuya, he's pretty confused too
"are you sure?"
tries to keep a straight face and hide his fluster
he'll narrow his eyes at you as if he's trying to read your emotions. he doesn't wanna get hurt if he gets too attached to you and you two end up breaking up
also how tf is he supposed to believe that someone like YOU like someone like HIM?
reassure him that he's perfect please :( poor baby deserves the world
"I am a lot of work. I don't think you can keep up with all of that," he says shortly.
"I'll try my best."
"You don't have to."
"But I want to!"
He stares at you for a few moments, looking like he's about to cry.
"Oh, alright then," he waves a hand around. "But don't you ever leave me."
ᴀᴛꜱᴜꜱʜɪ.
screams
"SAY IT AGAIN PLEASE!"
jumps around everywhere in happiness
you dont even get a verbal answer the man's just dancing around
either that or he just faints
he's, like akutagawa, insecure about himself. but he's much more open to showing his emotions to you.
you end up cuddling the whole night or he calls off work to be with you for the rest of the day <3
"I..." he repeats the same word for the fifth time in a row.
"Yes?"
"Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I get to date you."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, no!" he panics, wringing both hands all over himself hastily. "I love you! Really!"
ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.
no reaction. im sorry
spares a small glance at you but otherwise doesn't get distracted from his work
you think he's gone deaf from the way he just ignored you cuz what????
will spend like 15 minutes that way before extending an arm to you and you lowkey DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO??? HELP??
he'll stare at you for a few seconds before pulling you onto his lap and continuing with his work
and that's his way of saying yes
He shuts the computers around him down and taps your outer thigh twice. You immediately stand up and help him up. He stares at you for a few seconds, contemplating something.
"You know, I never thought I'd enable others to call me a lovesick fool."
"Does that mean you are a lovesick fool?"
"A little, maybe," he turns around and walks out of the door while you follow him with a soft smile on your face.
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© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
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paperbackribs · 1 month
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tags: steddie, pre-canon, season S2-ish, tommy hagan will always have a crush on Steve Harrington
🩵💥🩵
“Someday, you're gonna get bitch-slapped, and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it,” Steve hears the echo of his words in the Hawkins High boys’ bathroom. Spinning off the tiles, pinging against its corners and stabbing at Tommy who stands gasping at his best friend.
But Steve doesn’t care. This has been a long time coming.
Tommy is a prick and Steve thought there wasn’t anything wrong with going with the flow, ignoring the snide comments, looking away from the rumours that Carol would spread, as long as his friends remained by his side.
But Billy Hargrove had infected Hawkins High. Steve stopped swallowing the cool aid. And Tommy is fuming; red in the face and ready to take it out on any unfortunate soul that crosses his path.
Enter Steve.
Or, really, enter Eddie Munson.
Steve wasn’t sure if Tommy followed Eddie into the empty toilets or coincidentally came across him or whatever could be going on in the mixed up mind of his former best friend. But watching Tommy square off his stocky, muscular body against the other boy, boxed into the corner and wide, brown eyes only visible over Tommy’s shoulder, Steve swears that he’ll no longer look away from Tommy’s indiscretions.
So, he says it again, nodding to the leather clad boy in the corner, “Eddie’s going to take a swing at you and not only will I not defend you, I might even fucking taking a swing too.”
Tommy gapes, “What the fuck, Steve? I know we’ve been having troubles, but you’d take the freak’s side over mine?”
Eddie’s face twists in the background. Steve can see the anger warping his eyes and he doesn’t blame him, almost wishes that Eddie would take a swing and then Steve could just stand back and let it happen.
He sighs: he’s allowed a lot of things to just happen so far and it’s not to his credit.
Weirdly, Steve's resigned gaze meets Eddie’s incredulous look and, just for a moment, Steve feels like he’s met someone who gets it. Someone who sees the ridiculous, short-sighted nature of the petty bullying in the hallways of their high school and knows how stupid and utterly pathetic it is.
Steve swears that the corner of Eddie’s lips kick up at the irony of their shared understanding but is distracted as Tommy strides forward, knocking against his shoulder hard enough to send Steve spinning against the wood of a stall. He steadies himself as Tommy slams the bathroom door shut behind him with a clamorous bang and shakes his head: how could he have had such loyalty for a guy who won’t even stop to talk out their stupid shit together?
Steve thought he’d at least earned Tommy’s patience, a moment of Tommy’s time so they could talk this out and find a way forward again. He stares after his former friend, a hollow, gaping hole in his stomach as he grieves the friendship he thought they’d shared.
Eddie approaches with a gentle hand, laying it on Steve’s shoulder, “Are you all right, man?”
Steve swallows around the thickness in his chest and belatedly realises that his cheeks are wet. He clears his throat and, through a tight smile, says, “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”
The deep richness of those brown eyes regard him for a long moment and Steve feels stripped bare. He thought he was the guy rescuing Eddie, but he suddenly feels like the one vulnerable and exposed to the other boy.
Eddie smiles softly, “Yeah, got saved, right? How could I be anything but peachy keen?”
Steve snorts despite himself, amused by Eddie’s tongue-in-cheek tone, “Like a summertime in Georgia.” He can’t help but flash to Tommy’s retreating back and hates that his tone is already bitter, “Except I’m the stupid fucking tree alone in the grove.”
His head twitching slightly to the side, as if he were weighing Steve’s words, Eddie lightly responds, “Well, maybe it’s time to try another field. Wanna hang out sometime?”
Steve blinks, bewildered at the offer. The suggestion given so freely and without conditions seems anathema to his experience of friendship, and especially friendship in the complex halls of high school. He eyes the other boy suspiciously, but Eddie’s eyes remain clear, his body loose and almost curled towards Steve as if he were the north to his compass.
What could it hurt? Steve thinks.
Looking at what he can only describe as kindness in Eddie’s eyes, Steve thinks that a lot of things could hurt. Could burn or scald or stab, but the sweet, clear acceptance in Eddie Munson’s eyes has him thinking of a world where Steve can offer his loyalty and receive it in kind. A place where he can be good and feel like he’s doing good and perhaps a lovely brown-eyed boy would wait and tell him he’d done the right thing.
Eddie sticks out his hand in a gesture of friendship that only bolsters the words he’d already extended to Steve. And nothing moves in the cold room of Hawkins boys’ bathroom, no wind or breeze, but as Steve reaches out to clasp Eddie Munson’s outstretched hand, he feels a seismic shift that he can’t explain.
Steve’s fingers fold around the warmth of Eddie’s palm and Eddie’s full lips stretch into a smile, welcoming and true. A gesture that Steve can’t be sure of, can’t let himself fully trust; yet, nonetheless, Steve finds himself hopelessly following after Eddie’s extension of friendship.
And it'll eventually allow Steve to follow him to the confusing halls of the Hellfire Club.
To the strangely welcome space of Eddie's uncle’s trailer.
And Steve follows.
Because he is helpless but to follow this wide, brown-eyed boy who smirks at him with a knowing smile.
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luvkyu · 2 months
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heart stop ( jung sungchan ) part one
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sungchan x male reader
sungchan finally talks to his crush !!
content : 1.9k words, fluff, mentions of nudity/mature themes, uni au, gym bro!sungchan x artist!reader
( a/n ) PART ONE OF THE COLLAB W @jaemmphilia !!! just a heads up - part two is nsfw !! so pls take that into account before you start reading <3
part two
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"do you think y/n's into guys?"
"huh??" eunseok sputtered at the sudden question, basically choking on his food.
sungchan stifled a snicker, his ears growing a light shade of red. he stared down at the chopsticks in his hand with a love sick smile. eunseok cleared his throat as he watched the other twirl the utensils between his fingers.
"are we talking about taro's friend from his art class?" eunseok asked.
"yeah. i think i have a small crush on him."
"a crush on who?" shotaro suddenly chimed in as he sat with them in the cafeteria.
"y/n," sungchan answered a bit shyly.
"l/n???" shotaro's brows were raised in shock.
sungchan looked at eunseok, as if for guidance, before turning back to shotaro and saying a quiet "yes".
shotaro thought for a moment, then nodded in approval.
"you two would be cute as fuck together," he said before taking a bite of his lunch.
sungchan smiled at the idea of himself with y/n. he leaned over toward his friend eagerly, "do you know if he's gay?"
"how should i know?.. but i'm about to meet him at the art studio to work together if you wanna come," shotaro offered.
"really??"
"sure, why not. we're just taking some time to work on new oil paintings, it's not an actual class or anything so you can come along."
sungchan nodded happily at the idea.
"what are you gonna do if he's straight?" eunseok asked teasingly.
"cry," sungchan muttered in response.
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y/n stared at the canvas in front of him. his creativity was having a hard time flowing today. maybe he was overworking, or maybe it was just an off day. either way, it was annoying. he was supposed to be productive today. instead, a blank canvas was mocking him while his hands fidgeted with a paintbrush.
he sighed and set his brush down against his easel.
"what's wrong, babe?"
y/n looked up to see shotaro strutting into the studio, followed by a taller boy he hadn't met before.
"i told you not to call me that," y/n scolded while rolling his eyes.
"you're right. sorry, honey."
y/n turned in his seat to face his friend better, "that's just worse."
shotaro chuckled. as he sat down at his own easel, he grabbed another seat for the friend he brought along. y/n refused to embarrass himself by looking at the stranger for too long, but the small glance he did get was enough for him to conclude that the male was drop dead gorgeous.
"oh, y/n! this is my friend sungchan. he wanted to tag along cause he has no life outside of classes and the gym. sungchan, this is y/n!"
sungchan glared daggers at shotaro, before looking back to y/n with a wide smile.
"hi! nice to meet you. i've seen you around campus a little," sungchan greeted.
"really? i think i've seen you some too."
sungchan nodded, almost giddy at that answer. silence fell on them as shotaro set up his canvas and y/n looked through his paint colors just to have something to do.
"wow, you guys are great at this," shotaro said sarcastically, mainly to piss off sungchan.
"i'm terrible at talking to people, leave me alone," y/n defended with a small laugh.
sungchan watched y/n lean against his easel, resting his chin against his palm in defeat. he looked so perfect, even when feeling dejected.
"is something wrong?" sungchan asked. y/n looked at him again. he was a little surprised sungchan was even asking.
"ah.. i just feel kinda drained. i'm having a hard time working on this, to be honest."
"take a break," shotaro chimed in.
"but i just started."
"take a longer break. we've had a lot of assignments back to back lately, go rest for the day."
y/n thought about it for a moment. he sighed and nodded at the idea before starting to pack up his supplies.
shotaro turned back to sungchan, gesturing silently toward y/n in hopes that his friend would get the hint. sungchan looked at him in confusion. shotaro, in turn, huffed at his cluelessness. he pulled his phone out and went to his messages.
taro :
BRO, GO.
ask him out, go 'rest' together 🛏️
sungchan rolled his eyes at the texts. he gave the male another stink eye before typing a response.
sung :
I DIDNT WANNA TALK TO HIM JUST TO GET LAID
taro :
but it is part of the reason right
sung :
osaki shotaro istg
taro :
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT BUT STILL ASK HIM OUT, U HAVE THE PERFECT WINDOW RIGHT HERE
sungchan looked up from his phone, biting his lip as anxiety shot through his body.
y/n finished packing up his bag and showed the two of them a tired smile.
"i'll see you guys later. it was nice to meet you, sungchan."
sungchan nodded and smiled back, now watching his crush exit the studio. his smile fell as he turned back around to see shotaro giving him a disappointed frown.
"you're a dumbass, sung."
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"sungchan!"
sungchan looked up as he took a drink of his water, seeing eunseok and shotaro walking toward him.
"hey guys," he greeted while getting up from the bench press. he wiped around his face with a small towel as his friends came closer to him.
"did you just finish up?" shotaro asked.
"yeah, i'm gonna head back to the dorm now."
"boo, we could've worked out together."
sungchan rolled his eyes. "it's a good thing you still have each other then," he teased, patting shotaro's shoulder as he slung his gym bag over his back.
"hey, how'd it go with y/n yesterday? you ask him out?" eunseok asked before the other could leave.
"no, i-"
"he chickened out," shotaro teased.
sungchan sighed, but nodded. "i was too nervous."
"well we just saw him sitting outside by the campus arboretum if you wanna go try again," eunseok said.
"really?"
eunseok nodded, "go for it."
sungchan smiled a thanks and grabbed his water bottle before finally departing.
"..i doubt y/n is straight," shotaro mumbled as he and eunseok waved him goodbye.
"oh, me too," eunseok agreed.
sungchan began walking in the direction of the arboretum, looking around for the boy that had been on his mind way too much lately.
finally, he spotted y/n on a bench sketching a few flowers. he took a deep breath and walked over to join him.
"hey y/n!"
y/n looked up from his sketchbook, almost choking on thin air. sungchan's muscle shirt didn't hide a thing, and his slightly messy hair and tall stature worked well in his favor. with the way y/n was staring at him, or practically gawking, sungchan was now pretty certain y/n was attracted to men.
y/n quickly cleared his throat and averted his eyes. he looked down at his sketchbook, then back up strictly to sungchan's face.
"hi," he said quietly, "what're you doing out here?"
"was just on my way home and thought i'd take a walk through here. it's really pretty."
y/n nodded happily and took a look around. "yeah, i love being out here."
"can i sit with you?"
y/n nodded almost instantly. he moved over a bit to give the other more room on the bench. sungchan sat and sighed, actually very much enjoying the fresh air. he leaned back for a moment and let the sun wash over his face. one arm was hanging off the back of the bench, while the other raked a hand through his messy hair.
y/n was in awe, needless to say.
"so what're you drawing?"
"just some flower studies," y/n answered. "i wanted to add some flowers to my next painting so i'm just practicing a little."
"is it okay if i ask to see?" sungchan asked cautiously.
"oh, sure! you can look through the whole sketchbook, i don't mind. it's mostly random sketches."
sungchan nodded eagerly and took the book from y/n's hands, making sure to brush against his fingers just a little bit. he smiled to himself, now knowing the effect he had on y/n.
sungchan flipped through the pages delicately. he was trying not to crinkle or smudge anything, especially the ones done in pencil. y/n was right though - the sketches were pretty random. from people, to small household items, to cloud formations.
it was when sungchan found a more interesting page that he stopped flipping through. the sketches showed a naked man in two different poses, one leaning against what looked like a washroom counter, and the other laying on a bed with a messy sheet draped just over a couple parts of himself. sungchan looked up with wide eyes.
"oh, that's um," y/n didn't know whether to be proud or embarrassed. he was somehow both. "that was just a guy i had a thing with a couple months ago."
"these are amazing, y/n," sungchan praised. he continued flipping through, though his mind was still on the nude sketches.
"thank you," y/n blushed a bit as sungchan finally got to the end of the book.
"i really like the nude ones. you draw people really well," sungchan complimented while closing the book. when he looked up again, his face was closer to y/n's than he thought. his eyes instantly shifted to the male's lips, it was as if there was a magnet between them.
y/n could hear his heartbeat in his ears. sungchan was even more beautiful up close, and he was growing more attracted to him by the second.
sungchan lightly cleared his throat after a moment, trying not to stare at the pair of lips he so desperately wanted to kiss. making y/n uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted.
"are you going to the bonfire party tonight?" sungchan asked.
"i dunno, my friend invited me but i'm not usually into parties."
"well, i think you should go."
y/n met sungchan's eyes again, "hm? why?"
sungchan blushed. he didn't mean to blatantly give away that he wanted y/n there, but he might as well roll with it now.
"cause i'll have a much better time if i get to see you," sungchan answered with entirely pink cheeks. he could tell y/n was a blushing mess as well, despite how confident he tried to seem.
with a sigh, y/n looked up at the clouds. "is this how you pick up all your guys?"
sungchan laughed lightly, "actually no, my heart is pounding more than it ever has, i think." he let out a large exhale with this, which triggered more laughter between the two.
y/n found it endearing how obviously nervous sungchan was. here was this hunk of a man trying to hit on him, but he was so jittery and smitten that it really just made him adorable. y/n smiled as he thought about it. his eyes met the other's again while nodding, "alright, i'll be there."
sungchan's smile quickly grew at his crush's decision. he nodded and started getting up.
"i'll see you in a little while then," he said while giving y/n's head a gentle pat, his hand lingering against his hair. y/n nodded and watched him begin to walk away. he was speechless as he stared after sungchan. let's just say, the view from the back was just as good as the view from the front.
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marvelouslizzie · 1 year
Text
"Not a study date"
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Summary: You have the biggest crush on Bucky Barnes but despite all your efforts, he doesn’t seem to notice you. Can one study date change it all?
Pairing: College Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, idiots in love, study date, misunderstandings, jealousy, language, oral sex (male and female receiving), protected sex, praise, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 6.4K
A/N: I really wanted to write a College!Bucky Barnes story and this is it. It’s full of foolishness, miscommunication, and jealousy with a happy ending. This means it’s basically smut with a little bit of plot. I hope you enjoy it and if you do please give some kind of feedback. Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.
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Nothing seems to change whenever you visit your best friend's ex-boyfriend Sam Wilson. That sounds weird every time you remember Michelle dated him but things are just fine between them since it was Michelle who just decided to change schools and they ended things on friendly terms. He’s a good friend and really fun to play games with since he’s a sore loser but most importantly he’s your only connection to Bucky Barnes. 
God, that sounds so wrong. Like you are only friends with him just to be closer to Bucky, that’s definitely not the case but you can’t deny Bucky is one of the reasons you are visiting him so often. You like that Bucky secretly watches you two while you are playing games and celebrates your every victory. You know he just loves to annoy Sam but it makes you so happy every time he joins your efforts to brag about winning but that’s mostly it. 
You tried really hard to find some common interests with Bucky so you two can chat. He likes games, he loves reading books and you have a couple of classes together. You have a lot of things in common but nothing sticks for long when you are trying to have a conversation with him. You are not sure if it’s because he’s totally uninterested in you or you are just horrible at flirting. This doesn’t stop you from trying though. 
That’s why you are at Sam and Bucky’s place. Once again you found a reason to stop by and maybe because he has had enough of you, Bucky makes a comment that you did not expect.
“I’m starting to think you have a crush on Sam.”
“What?” The shock you feel is so hard to explain. You how no idea how surprised you sound.
“Well, you are here nearly every day.” Bucky tries to explain his thought process, already sounding awkward because of your reaction.
“Eww, no.” 
“What do you mean eww no?” Sam sounds offended.
“You are my best friend’s ex-boyfriend.”
“And?”
“What do you mean and?” God, does Sam thinks that way, too? You thought you two had an understanding. “You dated my best friend. You are like a brother to me. Of course, I’m gonna say eww.”
“Oh, some kind of girl's code, huh?” Bucky somehow sounds relieved but you don’t notice it’s because of your response.
“Great answer, bub. I was testing you.” Sam’s offended tone instantly disappears.
“Were you?” Bucky questions him before you can. “You sounded really offended to me.”
“Part of my talent.”
The conversation quickly changes into something else but Bucky’s observation sticks with you. Bucky thinking you might have feelings for Sam leaves a sour taste in your mouth. You are here to see him, day after day, and all this time he thought you just came to see Sam. Either he’s blind or you are just not good at showing your intentions. And then there’s a third option that you don’t even wanna think about: He noticed exactly who you are here for and decided to ignore it so he doesn’t have to reject you. Either way, it hurts. 
You consider canceling your study session with Bucky. It’s just gonna be awkward to sit next to him and try to focus on the notes. Plus, you are sure studying alone will be more efficient. No distractions at all.
“About our studying session…” You start to speak before leaving with the intention to cancel your plans.
“Oh yeah, you are still coming, right?” Bucky’s whole face lights up. It’s hard not to see it. He seems excited. “I convinced Faye to share her notes with me. You know how great her notes are. It’s already guaranteed that we will get an amazing score.”
Oh, that’s why he’s excited. Because he used his charm and managed to convince Faye to share her notes. She doesn’t do that often, if ever. She knows how precious her notes are and he’s right. That is literally your golden ticket to get a great score. 
“I was gonna ask if you still want to study together.”
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” He sounds confused.
“I don’t know.” You sound unsure. “Maybe you are tired of me since I’m always around.”
“Oh, come on! I was just joking.” He quickly responds. “You always come here to spend time with Sam. We never hang out just the two of us.”
He’s right. He always stays away from you. Only making comments from far away. Maybe you should’ve taken that as a sign.
“This is not hanging out, either. It’s just studying together.” 
He shrugs and you miss the disappointed expression that passes his face.
“Just come, okay? I promise it will be worth it.”
“Ugh, I’m glad I won’t be here. You two are insufferable. It’s just a study date. No big deal.” Sam can’t help but comment on your conversation.
“It’s not a date.” You and Bucky say at the same time. You look at him, feeling disappointed but try to hide it as much as you can.
“Whatever you say,” Sam raises both of his hands in defense but doesn’t seem like he believed you.
*
This was definitely a bad idea. It’s been a while since you two started studying and you did not understand a word. Not because Faye’s notes are bad. Nope, they are perfect but you can’t seem to focus on the words. The only thing you can focus on is Bucky’s smell. You try really hard not to check him out and it’s relatively easier since he’s sitting close to you but his smell… God, that’s so distracting. You have no idea what exactly it is. It seems like a mix of his own smell, the perfume he uses, and a bit of a sweat. You should be disgusted by the thought of sweat but all you want to do is get closer to him.
You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. This is just a silly crush, nothing more. You can just focus on the notes and learn something useful before the exam. You can do that, right? While you try to read the same sentence for the 19th time, Bucky takes his phone and starts to type something. The idea of him texting someone else while studying with you is so irritating but there’s nothing you can do about it. This is just a stupid study session for him. You push your chair to the back, thinking about getting a glass of water.
“I’m gonna get-” When you notice the awkward expression on Bucky’s face you stop talking. Before he can cover it, you notice the reason he’s looking so uncomfortable. His erection is impossible to hide in those gray shorts he’s wearing. 
“It’s not what you think.” He immediately responds while trying to hide his erection but there’s no way he can tuck it in while you are staring at him.
“Are you really sexting with someone while we are studying?” That’s the first thing that comes to your mind and you can’t keep that thought to yourself. 
“What? No!”
“I mean… it’s alright. You can see or talk to whoever you want but…” It’s so hard to collect your thoughts and turn them into meaningful sentences while your mind is running miles in seconds. It feels so humiliating and not because of the erection. The thought of him sexting someone right next to you… while you tried to get his attention all this time… It just stings.
“What the fuck?” He sounds completely shocked. “I’m not sexting anyone. Why would you even think that?”
“Why else would you get an erection in the middle of studying?” You really can’t think of any other possibilities. Plus he’s still holding his phone. “It’s fine.”
He says your name in a way he never did before. “I’m not seeing anyone. I’m not sexting with anyone. I texted Sam and then I was googling a word I saw in Faye’s notes because I have no idea what it means and I thought it would help me calm down.”
“Oh.” That’s completely unexpected. Then why did he get an erection out of the blue?
“I’m so sorry. I really didn’t want you to find out like this. God! It’s so embarrassing.” His words don’t make sense to you. What is he trying to say?
“Find out about what?” You try to understand him. “That you get erections?”
“What? No.” Then what did he mean? “I didn’t want you to find out… about my feelings… like this.” He sounds so nervous, even more nervous than you are feeling.
“For me?” The question comes instantly because there is no way that’s what he meant.
“Of course for you. Who else?” 
“Wait, wait, wait.” You finally put two and two together. “You just got an erection, because of me?”
“Ihm…” You can’t help but notice how awkward he sounds. “Yeah… I’m really sorry. I’m so ashamed.” He covers his face with both of his hands for a second. Then he continues. “I really didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I swear I’m not a creep. You just smell… so good.”
“You just got an erection because you have feelings for me?” You are sounding like a stuck record at this point but you can’t believe he really said that.
“Yeah. I was planning to ask you out, tonight. That’s why I was texting Sam but… instead… I made a fool of myself.” The panic in tone is so evident. Your eyes go back to his still-obvious erection. “I’m normally not like this. I don’t know what happened. Please forgive me.”
“Do you want me to help you with that?” You ask without taking your eyes off the outline of his erection.
“What?”
“Since you got hard because of me, I’m offering help.” You slowly close the distance between you two.
“That’s not… necessary.” He gulps. “It will go away in a few minutes.”
You have no idea where this wave of confidence comes from. Maybe because he just told you he wanted to ask you out or maybe because the smell of you gave him a hard-on. You just find yourself gently palming his erection over his shorts and he instantly takes a sharp breath.
“What if… I don’t want it to go away?”
“You’re not… you’re not offended?”
“You are not a random creep out in the street, Bucky. I know you. I like you. Why would I be offended?”
“Wait, you like me?” He sounds like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“Yeah.” You keep gently rubbing him. He doesn’t take a step back or try to stop you. His eyelashes flutter like he’s enjoying the sensation. “Why do you think I was visiting Sam so often?”
“Not because you have a crush on him?” He asks with a smile.
“Nope, because I have a crush on you.”
“You… have… a crush on me?” It feels like in the span of a couple of minutes, you two changed roles and it’s his turn to feel surprised by your words.
“Yeah. For a while.”
“I guess Sam was right.” 
“Was he?” You ask while you move your head closer. “About what?”
“He said you like me and I’m too blind to notice it.”
“Hmm… Even he noticed it, huh? I guess he is right.” Bucky looks at your lips while you are talking. You can see the idea of kissing you forming in his head.
“Can I…” He sounds like he isn’t sure, yet he tries one more time. “Can I kiss you?”
“My hand is on your hard cock, right now. What do you think?” Your response gives him a huge grin.
“I still wanna hear you say it.”
“Yes, you can kiss me, Bucky.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. His lips instantly crush on yours, like a thirsty man who finally found a glass of cold water. His lips move fast against yours until you rub on his cock again. It makes him gasp in the middle of the kiss, and the rhythm is lost. You feel how painfully hard he is under your touch. You don’t know if it is your effect or it’s because it has been a while for him. You would like to know, but you don’t want to ask. Instead, your hands move to the waistband of his shorts. You look directly into his eyes, silently asking for permission. He just gulps and then blinks. 
You always thought he was just distant when it comes to you, but you finally realize it was actually Bucky’s shyness. He gets flushed under your touch, struggling to find the right words. He communicates through his body language, but you want to change that a little. You want him to be vocal if you are gonna have sex. That’s when the idea of sucking him off comes to you. Unexpectedly, you kneel and gently push his shorts and boxers down while he watches you with big eyes. There’s no fear or worry behind those eyes. You see how excited but reserved he is. You want to show him there’s nothing to worry about. While directly looking at him, you start to stroke him. His cock is so close to your face, but you don’t make a move, you only move your hand up and down on his shaft slowly. His breathing shutters under your touch, but he says nothing. He just watches you.
“Is this okay?” You ask, already knowing it is. You just want him to talk. You wanna hear his voice.
“Ye-yeah.” He sounds so breathy. You start to twist your wrist a little, just to change the sensation.
“What about this?” He takes a deep breath.
“So good.” 
Maybe he isn’t a talker during sex. That’s fine, but you don’t want to give up that quickly. So this time, you sit on your knees and take him inside your mouth without any warning.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” His reaction makes you want to smile so widely, but your mouth is full of him. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Why? Don’t you like it?” You ask while pumping him with your hand.
“Just warn me, so I don’t embarrass myself.”
“Embarrass yourself how?” Your question catches him off guard. “I wanna hear those reactions. Don't hold back!” 
He just nods like a good boy, and that makes you smile. You don’t say anything, though. You just take him back into your mouth. This time, he lets out a moan. Your tongue moves around the head of his cock, swirling over and over again until he whines. He literally whines under your tongue and that makes you feel like you won a prize. It doesn’t take him long to grab your hair. He doesn’t try to control your movement or push you. It just feels like he’s trying to find something to hold on to.
You pace up a little, moving your head up and down on his cock while gently massaging his balls. That does it. First, you hear a loud moan that sounds like choking, then before he could even utter a word, the first shot of his come hits the back of your throat. You keep going until he empties himself. While you move away from him, you see his eyes are still closed. He takes a deep breath and opens them just in time to catch you swallowing.
“Oh my fucking god…” He sounds like he can’t believe what he is witnessing. You wonder if no one has ever done this in front of him before.
“How are you feeling now?” Your voice is much calmer than you expect. 
“So good. You have no idea.”
“I might have a little bit of an idea.” You smile while standing up. The hard floor tired your knees so you rub both of them.
“That was just amazing.” For some reason, he sounds younger and inexperienced at this moment. Like this was his first blowjob ever but you know that’s not the case. You heard a couple of stories from Sam, and you know this isn’t Bucky’s first rodeo. Yet, he sounds so affected by you. That directly goes to your ego.
You sit back down on your chair, not knowing what to do next, but it doesn’t take you long to realize Bucky does. He’s already getting on his knees while you give him a confused look.
“You know, that’s not necessary, right?”
“I know.”
“You don’t need to return the favor or anything. I did it because I wanted to.” You have no idea why you are discouraging him to do whatever he is planning on doing. You want to see what he wants, yet you don’t want him to feel obliged or anything.
“And now I am doing this because I want to.” 
He puts his hands on both of your legs, gently pushing them apart. You didn’t realize how turned on you are until this moment. Your focus was completely on him, wanting to make him feel good and you forgot about yourself. You didn’t even realize how wet you are. Carefully, he moves into the space between your legs and pushes your skirt up. His fingers graze over your covered pussy, and you are sure he can actually feel your wetness through the fabric.
“Can I take it off?” God, why does he sound so shy while asking that? And why does it turn you on even more?
“Are you gonna ask my permission for every single move?”
“Do you not want me to?”
“I like it, but you don’t have to ask everything. Not after coming inside my mouth.” You smile after finishing your sentence and you watch how flushed he gets, but you see that he understands what you mean. His hands reach for your underwear and take it off pretty quickly like he can’t wait any longer. He doesn’t touch your skirt, simply gets under it. That’s why you can’t see the first time he licks you. Immediately you move your skirt up to your waist and here he is, buried between your legs. He hungrily eats you out, his long licks sending shivers down your spine. 
“Oh my god!” 
Your reaction makes him look up for the first time. That flushed expression turned into pure hunger. His blue eyes watch every mimic you make while he starts to suck your clit. He definitely started strong, but you can’t complain, especially when you are this soaked. You didn’t even realize you pushed your legs together and trapped him between them until he gently pushed them apart.
“Oh, sorry.” You quickly say, but he doesn’t seem to care. He licks, he sucks, and does everything in his power to crumble under his touch. It’s so intense that you can’t think of anything other than the way he makes you feel. You don’t even notice how quickly your first orgasm hits you. It’s hard and fast. You can’t keep your voice down. No, you moan his name so loudly. If he didn’t come a couple of minutes ago, the way you said his name over and over again would get him hard again. Even with that in mind, he could feel the blood rushing to his dick, yet he keeps licking you until you push his head away.
“That’s… that’s enough.” It’s hard to breathe normally. You really didn’t expect to come this hard. The orgasm is still running through your whole body. 
“Sensitive?” His voice is low yet sweet.
“Yeah, a little.” You take a deep breath. “Just give me a second.”
He does that, but instead of moving away, he puts his head on your leg. After taking a couple of deep breaths, you look at him. He is so pretty like this, looking up to you with big blue eyes and a wet mouth. 
“Feeling better?”
“Yeah.” You smile. “I didn’t expect to come this hard.”
“Well…” You watch a big grin spreading on his lips. “Welcome to my world. I didn’t expect to come without a warning either.”
“That good?”
“Oh, yeah. That good.” He quickly agrees. “Sorry about that though.”
“Sorry about what?” You really have no idea what he means.
“Sorry about coming without warning.”
“Oh. That’s fine.” You stop for a second. “Sorry about giving you a hard-on.”
“The most embarrassing and the most amazing thing that ever happened to me.”
“Hmm… How so?” You fish for more.
“I don’t… You know… Go around getting hard-ons randomly.”
“Really? I thought that happened a lot to men.” 
“Not like this. Waking up with morning wood? Yeah. That happens, but getting an erection in the middle of studying? That’s a first.”
“Happy to have a first in your life.”
“I never came like this without a warning either.”
“Two firsts.” You don’t realize how smug you sound, but he does.
“What about you?”
“I don’t think I have ever come this hard without… you know… something inside me.”
“Is that so?” The way he smiles just makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. “You like to have something inside?”
“If they know… how to use it.”
“Let’s give it a try, shall we?” 
He moves his head away from your right leg, repositioning himself, and before you could say anything, his mouth is on you again. His tongue is gentle, testing the waters to see if you are still sensitive, but honestly, you are not. You just want him to move a little faster. You don’t say it though. You want to see what he is planning. He keeps on licking you for a while, making sure you are ready for his fingers and when he decides that you are, he slowly pushes his index finger inside. You moan in response.
“Does it feel good?” He takes his mouth off your clit for a second to ask.
“Yeah. It feels so good!” You can feel what he is trying to do. He’s building up your pleasure so slowly, you know it’s going to be explosive at the end. He keeps pumping his finger in and out of you while watching your expressions. 
“Do you want the second one or…” You don’t let him finish his question. 
“I want the second one.”
Your response makes him smile again. You are not sure what makes him happier: your eagerness or your openness. It does seem like he isn’t used to getting direct feedback, but he thrives on it. Quickly, he adds the second finger inside and you can’t help but notice how his thick fingers are filling you. It’s such a delicious feeling. You are so lost in it, you don’t realize how he leans back into your pussy. He nibbles your clit carefully while moving his finger at a steady pace. You can’t help but think he knows what he’s doing and he’s good at reading your reactions. He notices you react more when he licks instead of sucks, so he quickly switches back to it.
“Oh, fuck!” You love how his tongue feels against your skin. Your hands find his hair, pulling it gently just to ground yourself. You feel him moan against your clit when you tug on his hair. The idea of him enjoying it somehow turns you on even more. You decide to test it and pull his hair a little bit more when you feel like doing it. His loud moan vibrates on your swollen clit. It’s like he can’t get enough of it.
“Someone likes a bit of pain.” 
He pulls away from your pussy for a second. When he looks at you, you can see how turned on he is. The hunger is evident in his eyes. 
“Someone likes being full.”
“I’m not full, yet.” You aren’t trying to tease him, that’s the truth yet you can see that sounds like a promise to him. The promise of taking a lot more than just two fingers. He doesn’t say anything. He just goes back to licking and pumping his fingers. The only difference is he’s moving a lot faster than before and you aren’t sure how long you can take this before your orgasm comes back to crush you. It’s overwhelming yet not enough. You don’t realize how your body arches before you start to lose yourself in that pleasure.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Words come out involuntarily. “Don’t stop, Bucky. Please. So good. So fucking good.”
He keeps going, keeping that same pace. He wants to encourage you and talk to you, but his mouth is busy giving you pleasure. Hearing you moaning and begging is enough for now.
“Oh, god.” Your whole body starts to shake. It’s like your whole body is electrified. “Yes, yes, yes, Bucky. God, I love your mouth so much.”
He smiles against your clit but doesn’t break the contact. He didn’t think you would be this vocal, but he’s enjoying every second of it.
“Ahh, fuck, ahhh yes.” You moan out while shaking. You have no idea how long this orgasm lasts, but you feel so good. As your shaking starts to slow down, Bucky starts to move slower to match that.
“Mmm.” You knew sex with Bucky would be good but this is definitely how you imagined it. Finally, he moves his mouth away from you when he realizes your orgasm is done. You feel so boneless, so relieved.
“Are you okay?” His question brings you back to reality and you notice your eyes are closed. You open them back up and meet his gaze.
“Oh, yeah, I’m great.” He smiles so proudly.
“Glad to hear that.”
“You have no idea how tired yet relaxed I am feeling right now.”
“Not too tired I hope.” That surprises you.
“Why is that?”
“I thought you wanted to be full.” Then you see his erection. It’s actually impossible not to see how painfully hard he is even though he already came once.
“You want to…” You don’t know how to finish that sentence. You thought you would be done after this. You never had someone who wanted you like this before. The feeling settles into your chest. He wants you. He still wants you that bad after coming so hard. It makes you feel seen and desired.
“Unless you don’t want to…”
“Oh, I do.” Your response is instant. You really do. Even after two orgasms, you feel like you want more. You imagined riding his dick or him bending you over and fucking you hard so many times. You want to know how it really feels. 
“Good.” He stands up, and when his erection is on your eye level, you can’t help but stare. Not every dick is aesthetically pleasing. Some don’t even look like they would feel good, but Bucky… Bucky’s dick waters your mouth like you didn’t already give him a blowjob. You need it inside of you. While you are lost in thoughts, Bucky picks you up from your chair. You let out a small yelp while he offers you a warm smile.
“Just carrying you to the bedroom, doll.”
“Doll?” You never heard him use that nickname before.
“Yeah, you are a pretty little doll. So beautiful and so smart. Very eager and loud.”
You don’t know how to react. A lot of praises combined with stuff that makes you wanna question him more.
“Am I that loud?” You can’t help but ask.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure my neighbors hate us right now.”
“Oh god.” You feel your cheeks getting red, but he doesn’t seem concerned.
“Don’t let that stop you. I wanna hear how good I make you feel, doll.” He gently puts you on top of the bed. 
“Doll.” You repeat, without an implied question mark. 
“If you don’t like it…”
“I do. I really do.” You want to be his pretty little doll and your reaction makes him smile again. “It’s just new. I never heard you say it.”
“Because it is only for you.” Those words cause different a kind of warmth to spread through your chest.
You watch him open the drawer and pull out a condom. He rips the package off impatiently and puts it on with haste. Seeing how impatient he is makes you giggle and that makes him look back at you.
“What’s so funny?”
“Someone is eager to be inside me.”
“Aren’t you eager to feel my cock inside you?” His words take you by surprise. What happened to that shy boy who couldn’t find the word to tell you what he wants? Your shocked look makes him worry a little. He’s afraid that he crossed some kind of line.
“Fuck, that was hot.” Your words sweep away his fear.
“You like that?” He asks while closing the distance between you. “You like when I say dirty stuff like that?”
“Yeah. I love it.”
“You wanna hear how good you are for me?” You didn’t expect that question at all. He moves closer to you, forcing you to lie down. He positions himself between your legs. “Because you are so good for me.” His words make your pussy clench around nothing. You really need him inside you, and he doesn’t waste any time. He knows you are as impatient as he is. He slowly pushes his cock inside, taking his time and being gentle. He moves back and then forth until he’s balls deep inside you and you can’t hold back that loud moan. It just feels so good to be full.
“Shit.” You throw your head back. Your legs automatically wrap around his torso. He leans down and gives you a long kiss, taking his sweet time so you can get used to the feeling of him. Then he starts to move slowly while his mouth moves to your neck, gently sucking on your skin. It feels great, but somehow it’s not enough. So you start to move your hips with him, matching his rhythm but creating more friction.
“You want more already?” He doesn’t sound judgmental, more like he’s amused.
“Yeah. I need it harder.”
“Harder.” He repeats. “My doll needs it harder.”
Before you can say anything, he moves away from you. A loud whine leaves your lips. You don’t like that feeling of emptiness. You want to protest, but he grabs you by the ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed. He pushes your legs up and repositions himself between your legs. Then without saying a word, he gets inside you again.
“Holy fuck.” Your reaction comes out instantly. It feels so different, even more full. Then he starts to move, a little harder than before. Even though he isn’t using much force, because of the angle, it feels much better.
“Is it hard enough for you?” He sounds cheeky. 
“Yes, for now.”
“For now.” He repeats your words. “For now is good because we are just starting.”
You would love to say something back, but it feels too good. The only thing you can do is moan. With every moan you let out, he moves a little bit faster, he grows a little bit more impatient. He pays attention to what makes you moan more, which movement makes you lose yourself, and tries to repeat them. The room is filled with the sounds of his skin slapping against yours and how wet you are. Combined with your moans, he starts to lose control and move faster than before. That triggers more moans out of you. It turns into a vicious cycle until you are panting and begging.
“Please, please, please…” You can already taste your orgasm. It’s that close.
“Please what? Tell me what you need.”
“More… I need more.”
“Be more specific, doll. More of what?” That nickname sends a jolt of electricity through your body. “Do you want me to rub your clit?”
“No, no.” That’s not what you need. “I need you to move faster.”
“If I move faster… I won’t be able to hold back.”
“Don’t hold back.” You say while taking deep breaths. “Let’s come together.”
“Are you sure? It won’t last that long.”
“Try to hold back until I say let go.” You really want to come at the same time.
“I’m not sure if that will work.”
“You can stop anytime if you feel like you are about to come before me. That’s okay.”
“But what about…” You don’t let him finish.
“We can build my orgasm back up. It’s there, I can feel it. Just move as fast as you can and try to hold back. You can let go when I start coming, okay?”
He nods, but you see he’s not fully convinced. He just doesn’t want to disappoint you.
“It’s okay if you come before me. Not the end of the world.”
“I don’t… I don’t wanna let you down.” The vulnerability is so evident in his voice.
“You can never let me down. I don’t care if you come early. I will take it as a compliment.”
Your words make him smile a little. His hesitation is still there, but the urge to please you outweighs his worries. He leans down and kisses you in response. Long and full of love. You realize how much your words mean to him just with that kiss. When he pulls back, he starts to move again. He returns to his previous pace and starts to go faster bit by bit. You can feel that familiar feeling of approaching orgasm again. It’s slowly building up, but when you look at Bucky’s face, you notice he’s closer than you are. You need to get there a little faster. That’s why your fingers quickly find your clit and start to rub. When he notices what you are doing, he groans. His hips start to move so fast, you can’t help but scream. Your fingers combined with his fast pace finally push you over that edge.
“I’m coming. I’m coming. I’m coming.” You repeat without thinking and he knows what that means. He can finally let go. His hands grab your waist, getting that support he needs to fuck you into the mattress. The way he moves makes you see the stars. 
“Fuck, doll, I’m coming too!” Your mouth opens for a silent scream while he starts to come. The way he moans and groans fills you with pleasure, knowing you are the reason behind all of that. “Oh, god.” He keeps moving even though he’s done. He wants you to enjoy your orgasm till the last drop and you do. You let yourself thrive on every last bit of that amazing feeling. 
He finally stops moving when he realizes you are done. He gently pulls himself out of you, making you whine a little, and lays right next to you. You turn to your side, facing him while still trying to calm your breathing down.
“You just ruined me,” he suddenly says.
“I ruined you? I think it’s the other way around, mister.” He’s the one who gave you three mind-blowing orgasms and he has the audacity to say this. 
“I don’t think you understand.” He sounds calm yet sure. “Sex never felt this amazing before.”
His words make you giggle a little but you are aware he’s right. It never felt this good before him and there’s no way you can go back.
“You are a thief.”
“Me? A thief?” Your words catch him off guard.
“Yep, you are stealing my thoughts and presenting them as yours.” 
“So it was that good for you too?”
“My mind is blown. You have no idea.” That gives him the biggest grin. 
“Does that mean you will let me take you on a date?”
“What date?” You play dumb. You know exactly what he means but you want him to actually ask. 
“You know what date.”
“Nope, I don’t. I haven’t been asked on a date for ages.”
He grabs your hand and looks directly into your eyes. “Will you go on a date with me, doll?”
“Of course, I will, with pleasure.” And that makes him laugh.
“Yep, a lot of pleasure.”
“Shit!” You suddenly jump.
“What?” He sounds so worried.
“Our exam!” You completely forgot about it. “We were supposed to study!”
“We still have time.” He tries to calm you down. “Just lie down a little until you catch your breath. We have Faye’s notes, remember? It’s gonna be a piece of cake.”
“Oh, yeah.” You remember Faye’s notes. It suddenly changes your mood.
“Are you okay?” He immediately notices. 
“Yeah, I’m fine. We are lucky we have her notes.” You try not to sound bitter but it doesn’t work. He sees right through it.
“Remind me to thank her tomorrow.” You feel the jealousy build up inside you because you know it doesn’t matter how much you beg, Faye never shares her notes, and Bucky managing to convince her could mean only one thing.
“Yeah, I should thank her too.”
“You definitely should.” He watches how your expression changes after his words and his smile grows.
“What are you smiling for?”
“Nothing. I just love seeing you get jealous for nothing.”
“I’m not jealous!”
“Sure, that’s why you look like you wanna stab her a couple of times.”
“No, I don’t.” You deny it at first, but you can see he doesn’t believe you. “I just… know that she doesn’t share her notes with anyone. She must have a crush on you. Which is understandable.”
“Is it?” He’s still smiling like a fool.
“Are you seriously enjoying this?” You are getting so angry that you try to move away from the bed but Bucky grabs your arm and pulls you closer to him. “Let me go!”
“There’s nothing to get jealous about, doll.” He sees you don’t believe him. “I only have eyes for you and that’s what I said to Faye to convince her to give me her notes.”
“What?”
“I told her I want to ask you out, but I wanna impress you with this study date first. She thought it was a great idea and shared her notes with me.”
“I thought this wasn’t a study date.” You remember him denying it was.
“Well, after everything that happened…” He gives you a look that screams sex. “I think we can finally call it a study date.” Those words give you the biggest grin.
“Can we have more study dates like this?”
“Anytime you want, doll. I’m at your service.”
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