swirlingpebbles

[swirlingpebbles]

If someone opens up to you and shares a story or vents about a time they were mistreated or disrespected, now is the time to listen and show compassion. It's not the time to one-up or flex about how you think you would have handled the situation. It's also not the time to lecture them on how you think they should have responded, or to shame them if you don't think their reaction was adequate or assertive enough.

For example, your friend opens up to you about the time he tried to have a nice dinner out with his partner, but restaurant staff were being racist/xenophobic and refusing to seat them, so he and his partner just left and found somewhere else to eat. Now is not the time to flex "Well if that were ME I wouldn't have just taken it and left, I would have totally put the staff in their place and not tolerated that!"

Or, for example your co-workers tells you about how she went to the grocery store last night and right as she was about to check out someone aggressively cut her in line, now is not the time to shame her / put her down with a response like "What, and you just took that? Oh come on you can't be such a pushover!"

First of all, you don't actually know how you would have responded in these situations. You don't know if you would have actually frozen or fawned in these situations. Many people do, even if they don't think they would. And that's okay. People don't just decide to freeze or fawn, it's an automatic reaction. Stopping behaviors like freezing or fawning can take years of therapy, not just a belittling lecture from a friend or co-worker.

Or even if someone didn't freeze or fawn, they just made the conscious choice to avoid a confrontation. That's also okay, and not your place to shame them. People can have all sorts of reasons for wanting to avoid a confrontation, such as not feeling it's safe, or feeling like it will just make the situation worse.

Second of all, responses like this can come across as belittling and generally insensitive. Even if you don't mean it that way, it can come across as though you're trying to insinuate that you think the other person is lesser than you for not reacting how you think you would have reacted. When someone has already dealt with being mistreated the last thing they need to is be lectured or put down, it's rubbing salt in the wound to respond insensitively when someone opens up to you about dealing with mistreatment.

Instead, show compassion. Tell them they didn't deserve to be treated that way, and what the other person did was wrong. If they're being mistreated by a boss or co-worker, kindly remind them that they have the right to report the behavior. Or if they're being mistreated by a classmate or teacher, kindly remind them that they can speak to someone at the school about it.

You can kindly remind them that in the future they're allowed to stand up for themselves in these situations, if they choose to, but don't lecture them or shame them for not responding how you think they should have.

[swirlingpebbles]

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emilymcsings \ @judas-redeemed​ \ miriam adeney 

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[swirlingpebbles]

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”

— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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Typewriter Series #314 for all you #bibliophile folks. I know you love the smell. This paper has it. Yep. (at Helena, Montana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpMPnTgLRwf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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this body is not a home

jody chan sick (via @geryone) \ edward hopper interior, model reading (1925) \ olivia laing the lonely city (via @soracities) \ joan didion on self-respect (via @girlfictions) \ dion palinckx (2019) \ james tate selected poems (via @heartshop) \ @artofbrianluong​ \ olivia laing the lonely city (via @soracities​) \ edvard munch self-portrait in hell

shout me a chai latte

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In the burned house i am eating breakfast. You understand: their is no house, no breakfast, yet here i am .....

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"i wanna be closer to you" (ldr) prompts that i absolutely adore:

>°< the 6th, 8th, 9th, 11th and the 22nd??? CRYING

@urfriendlywriter | req by @seungspolaroid

hugs that feels like clench in your heart because you don't know when u might see them again

"don't let go yet" "i won't, sweetheart"

running into their arms after a long time ♡ and fitting right in :(

hoping it's them whenever the bell rings

just looking into each other's eyes while cuddling

always touching each other because they miss the feel of your skin against theirs :(((

holding hands until their fingertips reach out of grasp

yearning kisses when they press their palm against your cheek, slightly lifting you up. never getting enough and parting lips always wanting more (IM IN TEARS IM SO LONELY)

feeling heart wrench when you see their face while they leave

when they're excited to show you something they're proud of through face time.

when they break into tears as soon as they see you. and the hug after :(((

them having your picture as their wallpaper

"i--i have a day off tomorrow, do you want go somewhere?" "i just want to be in your arms, no matter where."

"go ahead, byee??" they cutely pout and mumble, "I'd rather not go and spend my time with you tho.."

remembering every detail about you.

eyes always on yours whenever you are together as if they're memorizing everything about you ㅜㅜ

"atleast we share the same moon. it's so pretty that it reminds me of you"

feeling empty without the other

"i missed you-doesn't feel good enough to express how much longing i feel for you."

many things will be left unsaid, because of the time difference, not being able to talk with them all the time

"is everything okay?" "yeah- *shuffles behind the camera* yeah i guess." "does it take. what? 3 hours on a flight? I'm coming tomorrow. i don't like this."

"sweetie, I'd run to you in a heartbeat if you'd ever need me."

"i do live 14 hours away from you, but my heart is always where you are."

a broken "come to please" with tears in the eyes, and the helpless other being able to do nothing about it

"you've grown a bit.." "it's only been a week, hun???"

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{Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction page 24/ Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 6: 1955-1966/ Alice Hoffman, The Red Garden/ Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 5: 1947-1955/ Haruki Murakami: Norwegian Wood, page 276/ Michael Ondaatje/ Catherynne M. Valente, The Orphan's Tales: In the Night Garden/ D.H. Lawrence, from The Complete Works; The Plumbed Serpent/ Jean-Paul Sartre, from No Exit/ Alice Notley, from In The Pines: Poems; "In The Pines,"}

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But an unquenchable love for you has never left me...

{Quotes: Alejandra Pizarnik, Approximations/Simone de Beauvoir, from Diary of a Philosophy Student: Volume 2, 1928-9; Sunday, October 7/chen chen, nature poem in ‘when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities’/sue zhao/ Sylvia path / Maggie Nelson, Bluets/Richard siken/Ingeborg Bachmann, In the Storm of Roses from ‘The Poem for the Reader’, tr. Mark Anderson ,paintings: pinterest}

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miriam adeney

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i like the concept of soulmates—not a “you’re destined to meet me, and love me” kind of soulmate, but a “i’d pick you, every time.” kind of soulmate. a “no matter what happens, and what has happened, i want to go through it with you.” kind of soulmate. a “i love you by choice, and you’re a blessing, and i’m going to continue thinking about you this way not because i have to but because i want to.” kind of soulmate. a “you help me rest easy when everything is difficult” kind of soulmate. a “in every possible outcome, i want you there, to share it with me.” kind of soulmate.

[swirlingpebbles]

~ UNCONVENTIONAL AUs ~ PROMPT LIST

requested by: anonymous

Feel free to use and reblog!

artist x muse AU

mutual third-wheeling AU

multiple identities AU

neighbours AU

antique shop AU

metro/bus AU

forensics AU

fairytale AU

abroad/vacation AU

sleepwalking AU

med school AU

fellow parents at the kindergarten AU

cashier AU

journalist AU

underwater/mermaid AU

lab AU

rich heritage AU

bakery AU

dream AU

countryside AU

centaur AU

domestic AU

edwardian era AU

ghost AU

makeup artist AU

hostage AU

pet/petshop AU

library AU

small town AU

masquerade ball AU

spilling drink AU

pen pal AU

evening school AU

near death experience AU

mailman AU

temporary roommates AU

matchmaking AU

gym AU

tall x smol AU

furniture store AU

horse race AU

karaoke AU

workaholic x janitor AU

long train ride AU

roommate's best friend AU

blackout AU

fake marriage for undercover mission AU

witness protection AU

drunk AU

secret dating at work AU

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flirty prompts

but as u read from 11th onwards, they're strangers tryna flirt. it gets funny as @lifeislikeagame requested! hope yall like it :))

"love, can't you see how wrecked i am for you?"

"be gentle with me, love, will you? I'm a soft lad :) "

"you have no idea how much i want you"

"i lay down every night hoping i could hold you in my arms."

holding gazes while their lips remain partly open!!! like they're outta breath

leaning towards you with a suggestive smirk

"mind saying that again?"

"tell me you want me" "i need you, [name], I need you so much it drives me insane--" they get kissed so hard they stumble back !=#(&828&(

"look at me like that again and you'll be ending up in my bed with no energy to walk the next day, sweetheart :)))"

"helloo, stranger ;)"

"is this destiny?" "more like you're a creep following me?"

"you have pretty eyes. a pretty face. and a heart like that--man, it's soft and sweet. I'd like to get to know it."

"and we meet again, stranger." *the silence stretches.* *sigh* "i need caffeine for this."

"can i buy you a coffee?" "how about you buy me some silence and shut the fuck up :) "

"let me take you out on a dinner."

[swirlingpebbles]

“say you won’t let go” - some touch starved scenarios

prompt list by @novelbear

heart pounding whenever the other does so much as to hold onto their wrist while guiding them through a crowd

one just casually sitting down on the other's lap and they start internally freaking the hell out

hesitantly tugging the other's fabric of their shirt or sleeve, testing the waters

^^ the other notices so they pull them into a hug, smiling as they just watch them melt

"wait, don't go, please.."

"is this okay?" "it's more than okay."

already barely holding it together as they're getting their hand held but then they feel that reassuring squeeze and they just can't

wearing the others' clothes so that it can at least feel like they're hugging them, even for just a moment

feeling so lonely that they have to call their lover/friend, just to get a sense and reminder that they're still there

^ trying and failing to hold back their tears as they do so

"can i have one more hug?" "aw, babe you don't have to ask, c'mere..."

when the other holds onto their waist briefly as they're passing by and it just send chills down their spine

breaking down mid-hug because they just needed this so much

their breath hitching whenever the other gets a little closer

^ feeling crushed when that action is taken as a sign of discomfort, and they watch them slowly back off

holding onto a stuffed animal/pillow, imagining that it's their lover in their embrace instead

one leaning their head onto the other's shoulder suddenly and they just freeze

"i wasn't sure how much longer i could have taken this..."

[swirlingpebbles]

Sky Cats Appreciation Post ♡