#there is of course: more review down here in the bitch section:

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

well. love senior sure was a show that i watched all the episodes of and is now over lmao [/end of review

#there is of course: more review down here in the bitch section: #twas shockin. absolutely skidded off the road in those last few eps from being mediocre but middling watchable to actively terrible #which if you watched it you know is me making a reference to the piss poor traffic adherence at love senior university #finale truly had it all: head trauma. amnesia. the male love rival when you were sleeping-ing one of the leads. #reconciliation after 2-3 eps of endless wank lasting all of 5 MINUTES AGH #anyway. some of the actresses were good enough that i'll look out for them in future non star hunter projects probably #and i was glad warang and prang got a kiss even if it was a widdle one #love senior

[not-orphaned-account]

This request is for the 20 minute one shots. Matt and Mello discuss plans to go on a date but incidentally stay at home.

I've been wanting to do this forever but I burnt out before I got the chance, BUT! Here it is now :] it's a very adorable idea and was very fun to write. I may have gone over 20 minutes, but just enough to get it to some sort of natural stopping point, because I love the idea so much and wanted to do it justice. Thank you!!!!!

-

Mello would not consider himself a romantic person. The very thought of Valentine’s Day makes him cringe, and the more red hearts and pink roses he sees while out and about, the more he feels himself getting close to burning down the romance section of the nearest library.

However, he would consider himself the very best at everything, ever, which includes the best boyfriend. So, when Matt mentions they should have a date night on the first weekend off they’ve both had in weeks, Mello decides that he is going to plan them the best goddamn Valentine’s Day date his loser ass bitch of a boyfriend has ever seen.

It starts with a candlelit dinner at the most expensive restaurant he can find. They’re not hurting for money, given Mello’s high reputation and higher rates in the detective industry, and Matt’s mostly-legal tech exploits, so he makes a reservation for the night of Valentine’s day with no problem. He even looks up the menu online to plan what exactly he’s going to order for maximum-romance points, and to make sure they have something that Matt will actually eat, given he has the palette of a six-year-old.

Then, he books them tickets to a show. A movie may have worked, and certainly would be enough for Matt—he’s always insisting the simple things go a long way—but Mihael Keehl doesn’t do ‘simple.’ So after a lot more furious googling, he finds a highly rated Broadway performance taking place at a theatre in the heart of the city, and books them tickets for a private booth that they won’t have to share with any strangers. It’ll just be the two of them, and Mello smirks when he thinks of the possibilities.

The show is in the late afternoon, so they’ll be going straight to dinner after it finishes. It’s a short ride by taxi, both the play and the restaurant have raving reviews, and Mello is certain this will be the best Valentine’s dates in the history of ever.

-

It snows.

Because of fucking course it does.

Matt, who has no idea of his plans, doesn’t understand why Mello is screaming into a pillow on the sofa at three in the afternoon, and Mello doesn’t tell him, as he’s too busy screaming into said pillow. It wouldn’t be an issue—the show is indoors—but for some reason, today of all days has to be when the city’s water system throws a bitch fit from the sudden cold, and he gets a notification on his phone that his tickets have been refunded as the entire theatre, as well as the surrounding block, has been completely flooded.

No matter. It’s no matter. They’ll just go see a movie. Dinner and a movie. It’s more Matt’s style anyways, he probably would’ve been bored at the show. This is actually a good thing.

Mello sits up on the couch and looks over at an understandably startled Matt.

“We’re going to see a movie,” he says. Matt blinks once, twice, then nods.

“Okay. What movie?”

Mello pauses. He…has no idea. He hasn’t been to the movie theatre in ages—he hasn’t had time, for one thing, and he usually can’t stand the places, with their crusty seats and stale popcorn and the ever-present smell of butter. He doesn’t even know what’s playing.

So, he looks it up online. The movie theatres nearest to them are all playing different movies, and with his plans for the show already ruined, he’s twice as determined to pick something good. Matt sits beside him and rests his head on his shoulder.

“You gonna tell me what you’re schemeing, or do I have to spend the rest of the day by myself?”

Mello pauses. He didn’t even realize it, but he has in fact been completely ignoring Matt. He bites his lip and stares at his screen. Matt can be…indecisive. He’s never been the one making the decisions, preferring to let Mello call the shots. However, this is supposed to be their perfect date, and Mello supposes that it would help to get some of Matt’s actual input.

So they squish together on the couch with Mello’s laptop between them, carefully looking through the list of movies. Matt points something out that looks interesting, but Mello is skeptical, and after a few minutes debating back and forth, he decides to just pull up the trailer to get a better idea.

The trailer is shit, which Matt reluctantly admits, so they go back to searching. Watching the trailers seems to work the best to compare the movies, but after a few minutes of both of them trying to see the screen, Mello just pulls Youtube up on their TV to play them from there.

“Wait, which one was that?” Matt asks once the umpteenth trailer has cut to credits. Mello glances at the list he’s still got on his laptop.

“That’s the last one listed for Moxie Theatre.”

“The trailer was all over the place, I don’t even know what genre it was. Can you find another one?”

Mello does, pulling up the second listed trailer for the movie. Then the third. Then goes back to one of the first trailers they watched, because Matt says he can’t remember if he’s seen it already. Mello’s stomach growls—he was planning on getting a light snack at the theatre—and Matt makes a bowl of popcorn because he’s ‘been craving butter,’ as if that’s a normal fucking thing for a human being to say.

The movie trailers are actually pretty entertaining, and Matt suggests they look at a few for movies they’ve already seen together, seeing how they hold up to the actual film. The popcorn is wedged on the couch between them, but when it’s done, Matt scooches closer and rests his head on Mello’s shoulder again. Mello lets him, searching for another old trailer to play.

They both decide that none of the new movies playing today are as good as the trailers for ones they’ve already seen, and Matt looks so excited when he asks if their streaming service has Toy Story that Mello can’t exactly say no. 

It’s not until Buzz and Woody are stuck in the claw machine and Matt has his hand buried in their second bowl of popcorn that Mello remembers what it is they were supposed to be doing.

Frantically, he grabs his phone and checks the time, heart sinking into his toes when he sees that they’ve missed their reservation. There’s a snoozed alarm and even a missed call from the restaurant, which he must’ve missed when he put his phone on silent to hear the TV better.

He buries his head in his hands, feeling sick with disappointment. 

“Mel?” Matt asks from above him, and Mello hears fabric shuffling before he lays a mostly butter-free hand on his shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong? We can watch something else if this is too sad.”

Despite himself, Mello snorts. He looks up at Matt, who looks genuinely concerned, which only makes him feel worse.

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy.”

Matt raises an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, obviously.”

Mello rolls his eyes, but he lets Matt run a hand down his back anyway.

“I had this whole big romantic plan for tonight,” he admits. “Like, this kickass Valentine’s Day date, with a theatre show and a fancy dinner…but the theatre flooded and I got so distracted with the stupid movie trailers that I forgot about dinner, and we missed our reservation and now the whole thing is fucked up. I ruined our first actual date in ages.”

He hangs his head, glaring at the floor in an attempt to ward off the welling self-loathing he feels building in his gut. 

There’s a few moments of silence before Matt snorts.

“That’s it?”

Mello looks up, scandalized. Matt raises his hands and tries to backtrack.

“No, sorry, I’m not—it’s just—that’s what you’re so upset about? Mel, I thought something seriously bad had happened.”

“Did you not hear me?” Mello snapped, crossing his arms over his stomach and glaring at him. “I ruined everything.”

“Mello,” Matt says, and he sounds so fond that even in his state of self pity Mello feels his cheeks flush. “You think I give two shits about some stuff show and fancy dinner? Did you not see me eat Kraft mac and cheese for every meal for like, two weeks straight a few months ago?”

Mello frowns. “Well—”

“And honestly,” Matt continues, “I have the attention span of a squirrel on coke when it comes to shit like plays or whatever. That’s always been your thing, yeah? And even the movie, like, I had way more fun making fun of shitty trailers with you than I ever would’ve at some sticky theatre.”

He rests a hand on Mello’s knee and rubs circles with his thumb, giving him that lopsided grin that Mello thinks might be his favourite sight in the world. It’s Matt’s genuine smile, the one he reserves for him and him alone, and despite the failure of the night he can feel his heart lightening just a little.

“It’s the principle of the thing,” he insists, though his protests are feeling a lot less convincing then they did before. Matt rolls his eyes.

“Trust me,” he says, “this was probably one of the best dates I’ve been on.”

Mello can’t help but snort.

“You’ve never dated anyone but me.”

Matt grins and leans forward, kissing his cheek.

“That’s the best part.”

#death note fanfiction #mellodramattic fanfiction #mellodramattic #req #death note req #oneshot #1k #fluff #20 min

[moisummertime]

Im currently reading this book called Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl.

There was a section in this book that provide you certain statement to determine how available you are by just agreeing with it.

1. Im all over my exes - this means I'm in neutral position and am not emotionally invested in either negative or positive way. I don't have anyone dipping in and out my life.

Agree. That's why I don't keep them around. I make space for a new person ;)

2. I've typically been available and have at least one mutually fulfilling, healthy, and committed relationship.

I think I'd agree to this one.

3. While I did find myself involved with a Mr. Unavailable, it was a one-time thing and I wouldn't be interested that behaved in this manner.

Yep. Normally I threw 'wtf dude', 'you son of a b*tch, how dare you!', 'Bye' followed with blocked, 'I am not interested.'. But yea I did some exceptions in certain cases and usually one exception.

4. Im not afraid to be vulnerable in my relationship and while I have fears like average person, Im not run by my fear.

Agree. Bitch gonna face those. confront them, and try to address this. My fear wouldnt be my image.

5. When I experience a breakup or someone that Im interested in doesnt work out, I work my feelings and don't try to avoid them.

And as you can see this blog, Im working on all those emotions I feel and try to address them. 6. While I've had one-night stand or an occasional fling or even casual sex arrangement here and there, they;'re few and far between. Yea, getting fewer and fewer every year.

7. If someone rejects me/turn me down/my relationship doesnt work out, I don't internalize it and change how I feel about me.

Yea, it is what it is. But I do always review and reflect. I gotta make sure I learn from that experience.

8. Im okay with being honest or receiving honesty even in the face of hearing information that I might not like and I will act upon.

Better than ghosting ;) So yep, I agreeeee.

9. If someone doesnt make an effort or isn't in position to commit to me, this is a turn off and I walk away. I don't become interested and try to push them into a commitment.

agreeeee. Who wants to have a relationship by forcing them into one? not me.

10. I accept responsibility for sorting out any emotional issues that I have and I don't try to get partners to fix me.

Yep. I might have to cry first but I am more resilient than I was. I know what best for me.

11. while I don't mind being kind or helpful, or even compassionate, I know that it's wholly inappropriate to fix someone else's problem.

Agree. If they have issue, they should decide to fix it themselves.

12. I don't have a type, and tend to look for people who, while Im attracted to them, share similar values with me. I don't have any criteria about how they should look, their job, how much money they have.

Agree. If I look back, there's variety of people, with variety of jobs, and variety of hairlines lol Finding one with same value and I am attracted to at the same time is hard.

13. If I met someone and they were still attached, I'd walk away.

Yea, Im not rehabilitate anyone from their heartbreak.

14. While there are things that I wouldn't mind improving, on the whole I accept myself and like and love me.

I'd give myself the love and life I deserve. I am my baby :3

15. While of course I don't want to be hurt, Im not so afraid of being hurt that it affects how I see people and relationships and my trust issues.

I'll always bounce back. It's gonna be a life story or just a short story? we decide it baby ;) Im not afraid of getting hurt for sure.

16. When I feel uncomfortable I listen to myself and when I get signals from my gut, I trust the information I'm getting.

Yes. And a little extra help from my tarot reader, I def gonna keep my distance when I feel something 'Off'.

17. I'm aware of inappropriate behavior and I have boundaries and limit to what I'll put up with.

AGREE. 100%. behavioral thing is very critical to me. you pick on it, nu uh. bye.

18. I don't engage in denial, rationalizing and minimizing.

You got what you see, what you feel. when you try too hard to make sense of someone else's behaviour, they really got a problem. That's red flag waving at you.

19. Whether or not I had a healthy relationship with my parents, I have addressed everything from my childhood that impacting my adult life and/or am I actively working on it.

Constantly working on it. It's not an easy task, but it's not something that hold me back either.

20. There's nothing Im trying to avoid, really!

Yep. But I have to admit I try to avoid poverty lol Soooo... I think Im ready. When you are? ;)

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Old Flame, First Love - (Tierna Davidson x reader)

"Alright stop it" Casey says as she grabs my phone out of my hand. "Hey!" I whine trying to grab the phone out of her hand. But Casey shakes her head and moves my phone out of reach, "No I let you mope but I am not letting you stare at pictures of your ex in the build up to to Valentine's day".

I just huff and play with my fingers not looking at her. She just sighs as she sits next to me, "Look I know your upset. Everyone is after a breakup. But you can't keep pining after her. Your an incredible person T and she majorly fucked up because she lost an amazing person breaking up with you".

I smile at her softly leaning into her, "Thanks Case". She throws an arm around me giving me a quick hug, "Anytime T. Now c'mon a few of us are checking out this bakery whereby wanna come? Some baked goodies may help you feel better?" I smile, "Yeah just let me grab my stuff". We quickly grabbed our stuff before meeting some of the team down in the lobby. "We all set?" Alyssa asks as the the two of us walk towards the group. We nod before we start the walk.

You could see Casey trying to distract me from all the conversation of Valentine's Day as well as all the decorations in the passing stores. And while I did appreciate her effort it didn't seem to work.

"Is this it?" Julie asks as we come to a stop in front of a small colourful store. Ali checks her phone before nodding, "Yup this is it". I couldn't help but tilt my head at the sign. For some reason it sounded familiar. I just couldn't place it. "Cookie bro?" Casey sniggers looking at the sign. Ali shrugs, "They're huge here. They have really good reviews". "They can call themselves whatever they want as long as they're good" Ash shrugs.

The rest of us nod before entering the store. The store was fairly simple with a few tables which were all filled with what could only be described as extremely happy customers. There was a large display case filled with mouth watering goodies. The was a large section of cookie as well as cupcakes, donuts and so much more. "Damn these look good" Julie mumbles licking her lips. "I kinda want a bit of everything" Ali nods as her eyes dart from treat to treat.

I couldn't help but furrow my eyebrows as I look at the display case. Why did these look so familiar?" But it quickly came to me when I hear a voice coming from behind the counter that it suddenly hits me.

"Hello! Welcome to Cookie Bros! How can I-"

But she immediately stops and drops a bag of cookies on the counter staring at us, in particular me, wide eyed. I could see the girls tilt their head at her but I bite the inside of my cheek.

"Y/n?"

The girls looked between the two of us watching to see both of our reactions. I couldn't help but smile as I see that even after all these years she still did the thing where she bites her lip as she drums her fingers against the counter while she thinks. She then just gave me a weak smile picking up the bag she dropped and putting them to the side, "Hey T".

Julie looks between the two of us, "You know each other?" I bite my lip as Y/n just rubs the back of her neck sheepishly, "Uh yeah we go way back. All the way back to when T wanted to be an astronaut". I only nod before an awkward silence falls between us.

Almost as if we suddenly remembered that we weren't alone she clears her throat before tearing her eyes away away from me as I shuffle on my feet finding my shoes very interesting. "So what can I do for you all?" She asks smoothing out her apron which was covered in flour and other ingredients. "Well what do you have?" Ali asks peering through the display case.

Y/n's nervous persona just seemed to be wiped away as a smile spreads across her face as she moves behind the display case, "Well we have a big selection. Our main speciality's are cookies as the name suggests but we also do some delicious cupcakes and donuts if they tickle your fancy?" She opens the display case and pulls out a few different cookies and puts them on a tray pushing them towards us. All the girls pick a cookie and try it and their reaction was almost instantaneous.

"Oh my God! Bitch this is so good!" Ash exclaims as the rest hum in agreement. I'm about to pick one from the tray when a cookie is held in front of me wrapped in a napkin. I see Y/n standing there holding the red cookie out to me rubbing her head sheepishly.

I chuckle as I take the cookie from her, "It's good to see some things don't change". As I take a bite of the cookie I can't help but moan in delight as the familiar taste of red velvet fills my mouth. Y/n snorts, "Good to see you still have a sweet tooth. You always seemed to have a thing for my red velvet. Ironically".

Once again we both make eye contact before looking away with a light blush on our faces. I could see Casey raise an eyebrow at me before turning to Y/n, "This is amazing. What is it?"

Once again she clears her throat the blush dying down a bit, "That would be my s'more cookie". She starts pointing from one cookie to the next, "We do loads of different flavours. Oreo, Reese's chocolate, Aero Mint, Golden Swirl. We also have some special ones for Valentine's if your interested?"

"Is there a way to buy them all without getting into trouble with Dawn?" Ash asked licking her lips.

The others drift along the big display trying to decide what ones to pick out while I moved to the counter where Y/n was moving around stuff. "So you opened up your bakery just like you always wanted". She nods, "With a little help from my grandparents yeah". I bite the corner of my lip, "And your parents?" She gives me a weak smile, "Still the same homophobic assholes who call me once a month telling me they found a good husband for me to marry".

I put my hand on hers stopping her from moving stuff around the counter making her look after me, "I'm sorry Y/n/n". Her eyes focus on our hands before she sighs running her hand over her head smoothing out the stray fly aways away from her face, "It's okay. It hurt. A lot. But it's a lot better at my grandparents. They were a bit awkward at the start but they came around to it and they still love me so I'm happy". She chuckles lightly, "You should have seen my parent's face when I told them not only was I dropping out of college but I was also gay. I honestly thought they were about to have an aneurysm there and then".

I couldn't help but laugh as I picture it, "Yeah they were never the most open minded". She nods, "Yeah..." It was quiet for a bit as she just moved her thumb over the back of my hand making me squeeze her hand lightly. "It's good to see you doing so good" I whisper. I could see her suck in the side of her cheek biting the inside of it, another thing she has kept from childhood, "Well it's like you said, the world keeps spinning even if you don't want it too". I couldn't hold back the wince as I remember the last conversation we had before I left for college, "Y/n..."

But she quickly shakes her head, "It's okay T. You don't owe me anything...I wish it could have just ended differently I guess". I didn't even know what to say after that. What could I even say after that?

But I didn't even get the chance as the girls walk back over to us. I step back as they all tell Y/n what orders they wanted. I wait as Y/n boxes up all their orders and they pay. Once they're all done we start heading for the door before I'm called back, "Hey T!"

I turn to see Y/n holding up a box for me, "Some of your favorites and a few extra for your teammates". I take the box from her with a smile as our fingers brush lightly, "Thanks Y/n/n". She just returns the smile, "Anything for my favorite taste tester. I-it was good seeing you again T". I smile softly at the girl, "Yeah you too". She nods slowly before disappearing back behind the counter leaving me to leave with the girls.

We have barely stepped out of the store when all the girls turned to me, "What?" Casey smirks at me, "What was that?" I try to shrug it off, "What was what?" Julie rolls her eyes, "What was up between you and the bakery girl back there?" I shrug not looking any of them directly in the eye, "She's just somebody I knew a long time ago". Ali scoffed, "Looked a bit more than someone you just knew". Casey nods before turning to me, "Did you use to date?"

I lick my lips, "Not exactly..." I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I sighed, "We were best friends. We had a....thing? Between us for senior year but it never went anywhere". "Why not?" Julie asks tilting her head at me. I start to twist the ring on my finger around, "We....look we were...we were both heading for different colleges. I didn't think it was going to work out. It just wasn't going to work between us".

Casey raises an eyebrow at me, "Why do I feel there's more?" I sigh again, "She was the first girl I liked. Practically the reason I realised I was gay".

The group stopped and looked at me. "Woah" Ali mumbles, "that's pretty heavy". I nod, "Yeah". "Well it's obvious that she still has feelings for you" Alyssa comments earning nods of agreement from the others.

But I quickly shut it down, "No. There's no way she still likes me". Casey gives me a look, "T anyone with eyes could see she is still interested in you". "Trust me there's no way she likes me after how I left it". But before they could question me further we step into the lobby only to be seen by Kelley and Sonnett who immediately lock on the bakery boxes.

"Oh what did you get!" Sonnet asks trying to look into the box. Before I could ever say anything Kelley already snatches one out of the box, "Hey!" She pouts at me, "Please T. Cardinals forever..." I sigh, "Fine but don't touch the red velvet ones". Kelley and Sonnet both shove a cookie in their mouths and moan in delight. "These are so good! Where did you get them?" Kelley asks trying to go for another before I pull the box out of her reach.

Julie smirks, "Ask Tierna. She'll probably get you some free seeing as she knows the owner". But of course Kelley and Sonnet catch the teasing under tone and grin wildly at the redhead defender who narrows her eyes at her red stars teammate.

"Ohhhh. Baby T have a crushhhhhhh" Sonnett grins. Kelley wiggles her eyebrows at me, "Did T find someone to be her valentine?" I blush and shove past them, "Shut up". As I went back to my room one thing was for sure.

AJ was definitely no longer on my mind

............

"Happy Valentine's Day!"

Tierna plastered on a fake smile as she watches all the girls with their partners. As a surprise Vlatko had all the girls partners flown in to celebrate Valentine's Day. He had sent me an apologetic smile which I only shrugged off returning it with a smile. I slumped back in my chair playing around on my phone.

Just when I think it couldn't get worst Alyssa nudges my side.

"Delivery for Valtko?"

I gasp as my head snaps up at the voice. Only to be met with the familiar y/e/c orbs. She was standing by the door carrying several boxes donned in her casual clothes with her jeans a muscle tee and her trademark plait shirt. But my gaze is pulled away by Sonnett.

"That's who Tierna was talking about?" Sonnet chokes out. Lindsey lets out a low whistle looking Y/n up and down as I glare at the two blondes. "Well done Baby T" Kelley mumbles watching as Y/n sets down the boxes only to be smacked in the back of the head by her girlfriend.

They were right. Y/n looked great. Back when they were younger she was more slim and skinny. But now she was taller and a lot more built. It seemed that carrying heavy bags of flour did wonders for Y/n upper body. The girl looked like she could have been fighting in the UFC for Christ's sake. Which made it kinda funny to see her stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"Hey Y/n!" Casey shouted waving her over. "What are you doing?" I mutter as Y/n makes her way over to the table scratching her head, "Uh hey again". I smile at her, "Hey Y/n". She shuffles on her feet, "Uh I delivered a bunch of Valentine's treats. I guess Valtko ordered them after he heard you guys talking about them yesterday". "You made these?" Kelley's girlfriend asks holding up a cookie which had melted chocolate on the top with sprinkles and the little love hearts on top. Y/n nods shyly. "These are awesome!" Kelley smiles at the young baker. Y/n blushes as the team and their partners voices their agreements, "I-its nothing really".

"Why don't you join us? I'm sure Tierna would enjoy the company" Julie asks from her seat beside her husband. Y/n bites her lip, "I-I wouldn't want to impose. Where's your girlfriend?" Now it's my turn to bite my lip, "We broke up...."

Her eyes widen, "O-oh I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to..."

But I shake my head with a small smile, "It's fine wanna sit?" She slowly sits in the only chair available which is the one beside me. Conversation flowed around the table. Except for between us. Neither of us really knew how to start a conversation between us. But of course my teammates caught on and included us into their conversation helping us to at least communicate between each other.

But it was when Kelley suggested Couple games that I turned to Y/n, "Wanna go for a walk?" She nodded and we both fled from the meal room and away would could have only been a horrible attempt to deveal into our past and walk to the small garden at the back of the hotel.

We walked quietly for a bit before I stopped and turned to the baker, "I never got to apologise to you..." She just shrugs though, "You have nothing to apologise for". I shake my head, "I do".

I take a deep breath, "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I handled things between us. It wasn't fair on you. I hope you know I only wanted you to be happy". She scoffs kicking a small stone with the toe of her shoe, "That's rich". I study her side profile as she stare in front of her, "For someone who wanted me to be happy, you really didn't take my feelings into account". She stops and looks at me fully, "I know we were both still figuring things out at the start and that was fine. But the more time that passed the more certain I was about my feelings for you. But you were still figuring it out and that was okay cause I was willing to wait for you. All the sneaking around and hiding it from everyone that was okay because I had you..."

"I waited the entire Senior year not wanting to push you but being happy to have a part of you. I was okay with all of it. What I wasn't okay about was the fact you didn't even give us a chance..." I pursue my lips as she continued, "As soon as college rolled around we broke up. Well I suppose we didn't seeing as we didn't even start". It was now I could see tears welling up in her eyes, "You gave up on us before we even had even begun".

I shrug helplessly, "You were right. You had waited for me for so long and I still wasn't sure but by the time I had figured everything out....it was too late. We were heading off to college, on the other side of the country from each other. I just couldn't ask you to wait any longer for me....I didn't want to risk losing you so I thought it would be better to end it there. And just let you forget about me".

She just scoffs again, "You really thought I would just forget about you?" Her lips part I'm disbelief, "You were the first girl I had ever liked...My first Love". She shakes her head at me, "It's not that easy T".

"I didn't want to have these feelings at first either. They're scary. But they're scary because they're exciting. And I get it, the fear of letting someone in, getting close to somebody and just not working out. I was terrified but I was willing to take that chance for you. I was willing to accept that fear for you". She threw her hands up, "Instead you left me brokenhearted. The one person I thought would never hurt me, hurt me the most".

I bite my lip trying to ward off the tears, "It was only after I left you that I realise what I had truly done. How badly I had screwed up. But I couldn't go back, not after what I had done to you. I tried to convince myself that I was doing it for us to save us from hurting each other in the future but what I ended up doing was so much worst. All because I didn't want to admit that I was in love with you".

Both of us stood there with tears streaming down our faces. I licked my lips stepping towards her moving my hands up to her face slowly. Just like his we use to when we were younger. She leaned into my hand but with a pained expression on her face almost as if my touch hurt her. "Please don't" she croaks out, "don't give me false hope. It'll only hurt more". But I shake my head gently, "I won't. I'm not". She looked straight into my eyes, "Promise me. Promise me you won't leave again". I lean my forehead against hers, "I Promise. I promise I won't". My eyes flicker down to her lips and back up to her eyes. I try to find any bit of hesitance or doubt but I don't find any. I slowly start to lean in giving her enough time to pull away. But she doesn't and our lips meet. Her hands go to my waist as my hands cup her face trying to show how sorry I was through the kiss.

The only reason I pulled away was due to lack of oxygen. But when I opened my eyes I couldn't help but giggle as I see her eyes still closed as her chest heaved with breaths. I look around us until I land on a patch of flowers. I try to walk over to them but Y/n's grip tightens as her eyes flutter silently begging not to go.

But I just chuckle and kiss her cheek giving her a reassuring smile before slipping out of her arms. I pluck a flower from the patch and turn to her. "I know I can't take back what I did. But can we at least start over?" I can see her bite the corner of her lip before a soft smile spreads across her face, "Only if you'll be my valentine?" I grin and nod, "Deal". She takes the flower gingerly from my hand before pulling me in by the waist and kissing me again. I yelp before smiling into the kiss. When she pulled back she kissed my forehead, "Happy Valentine's Red velvet". I chuckle at the old nickname after my favorite of her creations.

"Happy Valentine's day Chocolate Chip".

Hey guys!!! I know this is late but it was longer than the other one and....yeah? But it's done now so yeah.... honestly I had another idea but I might leave it for a while and tweak it a bit. I know this isn't the best but nowadays I'm running on fumes. Anyways I hope you enjoy. Until next time, bye!!!

#tierna davidson x reader #tierna davidson imagines #tierna davidson #tierna davidson imagine #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #uswnt

[sugar-petals]

boyfriend bot (m)

↳ Not made of flesh nor blood. But made to treat you right. 

↳ PAIRING ⇁ baekyhun x reader

↳ STATS ⇁ one shot | sci-fi + domestic au

↳ WORDS ⇁ 29k

↳ WARNINGS ⇁ slow burn, the yearning™, eventual smut, light angst, making out, fingering, blowjobs, vaginal penetration, baekhyun can expand his dick what about it, cock warming, messy sex, artificial semen, giving orders + name-calling (bbh receiving), cum play, throatpies, wet panties all the way, masturbation, switching & dom!reader undertones but more vanilla > kink, french kissing, baek is a gentleman, cuddles

↳ ♡ Caro’s Note ✏︎ mmh i love seeing reader get her life turned upside down. features ten chapters. please indulge. ✍️

Chapter 1: The Capsule

God, the sting is back. Your left foot starts hurting like absolute hell. Out of all possible moments and places.

The vaguely polite smile on your face drops to a stifled expression, but Mr. Kim — on top of being just as oblivious as you expected a man of his job to be — is too preoccupied to notice.

„Our faculty is quite large,“ he says, gazing over the diagrams on his tablet pc. „We require a lot of spare room to test the robots.“

You exhale. Trying to focus on the diagrams, whatever they might mean. It’s mostly obscure, floating animations in green and yellow. Actually — very much unlike the faculty itself which is white, stark, and sterile. And yes. Too large for its own fucking good.

Just keep on walking, you tell yourself, you’ll be there soon. You’ll see Baekhyun in just a minute, okay.

Besides Mr. Kim, whoever works here has got to be a raging part-time athlete. Crossing all the plain white corridors feels like jogging right through a football field.

If you walk down any more of those, you’ll actually be out of breath. On top of limping like a stork in a puddle of half-dry mud. All accompanied by the squeaking of Mr. Kim’s obnoxious white crocs that seem to mock you with every step.

You spend too much time inside.

But who these days trains for a marathon like this.

Another deep exhale. Focus, focus, focus. You try to keep the conversation smooth.

„That’s reasonable. How long does it take to run such a test?“

„Really depends on the model,“ Mr. Kim hums, now diverting his eyes from his device to meet yours. „Prototypes take three, even four years to manufacture, trial, and refine. It is rocket science.“

Your foot is kind enough not to send another spike of pain through your legs so your face looks neutral at best.

„Four years. Quite a long time.“

Around just as long as you’ve been the single pringle of the neighborhood if you count up the months. Now that’s funny. You still feel pathetic showing up here, either way.

But since you already paid and walked what feels like three miles, there’s no going back.

Mr. Kim stuffs the tablet into his pocket now, then interlaces his fingers, making him reminiscent of some kind of ancient Roman oratory figure with his long white lab coat on.

„It is. The models that you can customize do several test runs over the course of two weeks, on the other hand.“

„Wow, that’s actually pretty fast, then.“

You’re genuinely surprised. That the faculty is professional to a fault, however, isn’t shocking. The reviews of their products are nothing but positive. Five stars are plastered all over the edgy customer feedback section on the company website. Accordingly, your purchase is worth more than five saved monthly salaries which torments you more than your damn foot.

Mr. Kim cocks his head a little.

„Technically, yes,“ he says. „However, every custom bot has once been a prototype. All the important safety tests have been conducted.“

You raise your brows. If you did the math correctly, it’s 3 to 4 years development stage plus two weeks of customizing and tests. That makes sense.

You’re surprised your brain can register as much. Now that it’s been ten minutes of walking or even a bit longer, who knows the time works differently in this bitch of a building, the corridor is giving your Achilles’ heel a hard time again with another endlessly long passage.

Doors upon doors, one more mysteriously labeled than the other, pop up right and left. ‚CASTS AND SCULPTURE‘ says one entrance. ‚LINGUISTIC DEVELOPMENT‘ another. From another corner, a whirring noise keeps on disrupting the silence of the hallway.  

What else can you do but try to slow down the pace without it being too discernable. It’ll pass in no time, you tell yourself, don’t be a bother. You won’t have some breakdown in here and ask for a glass of water or whatever. It’s already embarrassing enough to do all of this.

If you act up, they might consider you unsuitable to take the bot home. There are no opportunities to sit down anyway. Mr. Kim is far too awkward to talk about anything else but technical details. They probably don’t even have cardboard cups and mineral water in here, at least not in the radius of the sensitive equipments.

It really is a rocket science place.

Figures, this is a place for robots, not humans. The receptionist of the faculty himself had been a bot already. Sleek, poised, and polite. Interestingly, with a slight resemblance to Mr. Kim.

You chew on your bottom lip to distract yourself, walk on. Trying to come up with questions seems to be the best way to distract yourself at this point.

„Do… you also quiz the robots for conversation like that?“

It sounds like an outlandish thing to say to such a high-ranking scientist, but with the pain in your leg, it’s all too easy to forget about tone. The corridor becomes longer with every step and the neon lights above don’t help. Maybe you only hallucinate all of this. Mr. Kim sounds as factual and courteous as ever.

„Of course. We simulate every possible life situation you can think of. He can play sports with you, talk about modern art, cook Spaghetti, iron clothes, send you a text message, point out star constellations.“

„Really?“

Your heart beats even faster than it already does. Not that you’d ever need your robot to do push-ups or teach you cross-training. But Mr. Kim very much sounds like he’s confident the android will keep all its lofty claims. It’s a promise that raises your mood a lot more than you thought. All the details on the website you’ve read about three times already, but hearing them confirmed is still exciting.

„Even if a client customizes a model,“ he pulls out the device from his pocket again, then points to several other red graphs on the tablet. „The base programming allows for a variety of actions already.“

None of the data he shows you instantly rings a bell. It looks far too advanced. But it’s a no-brainer to you, someone like Mr. Kim lives in a bubble of bot speak.

As far as you understand it, what he means is that all robots have long been ‚finished‘. Customizing only adds a few features. A final, very personalized touch.

„Um— And my bot is able to learn, right?“

„That is one of the most important features,“ Mr. Kim fiercely nods his head. So that struck a chord. „Baekhyun is a leisure model, but you’ll notice that he asks a lot of questions.“

„What type of questions?“

„Well… Think of it as if a child with a rational mind gets to know the world. Very rapidly rather than naively. And, he constantly updates what your preferences are.“

„Right.“

The prospect of finally meeting him lets the pain in your leg fade off at least a little.

Baekhyun.

Only eight letters in an online form until this very moment. But soon, someone very real before your eyes. It’s an overwhelming thought, but your impatience is stronger than that. Now you really want to see him.

The corridor, thankfully, ends in a few feet anyways. Your knees are getting wobbly by the minute.

„Is he able to reach conclusions on his own?“ you ask, hands stuffed into the side pockets of your black jeans. Your pulse is still increasing. Mr. Kim’s friendly face becomes even friendlier with the smile that now stretches wide across.

„Conclusions— I would describe him as logical, but with a strong ethical twist. He’s a leisure model, after all.“

That sounds like a fancy way of saying ‚yes‘. Or, in a way, a hook to assure a new client that it was money well spent and not wasted on some hoax.

It’s not like you don’t trust the countless ‚I got a leisure bot and this is how we live’ client videos you saw online.

Even the most amateur vloggers seemed to be wildly in love with their models. Kissing and hugging them all over the place, playing games together and whatnot.

„You know, I had the honor of overseeing his tests last week,“ Mr. Kim continues. „Baekhyun’s sense of wit is so astounding, even our chief robotics officer was surprised. And he works in the department since 1995. That’s almost 40 years of experience here.“

You have to smile to yourself now, too. In the ‚select personality’ section on the customization website, your particular wish was to make Baekhyun sharp. Maybe this could turn out as interesting as you pictured it would be.

„We took a little longer with it. But I believe Baekhyun is among one of the best customizations this month,“ Mr. Kim now stops and draws out a key card. „Especially— in terms of how you helped us design his looks and theme. Most client requests we get want some kind of he-man. They only spend twenty minutes customizing their bot on the website, if not less.“

Mr. Kim pulls a frustrated face recalling that. In the meantime, you try to keep your legs straight as good as possible. It’s probably been a few years since you’ve been legitimately nervous like that and it catches you off guard. This is like a final exam. After a brief attempt to fix your hair, you shove your hands into your pockets a little deeper.

„Hm, I see?“

It must have been getting vastly boring in the lab judging by how he talks himself into a frenzy about the project. Although well, if he wouldn’t, you’d be a little worried. This is the type of job where you have to geek out. Mr. Kim seems to be the right kind of guy in his profession, you can’t deny that.

You take a deep breath now — hoping they didn’t go too far with their experiments once they got the rare opportunity to do so.

Mr. Kim pushes his brunette hair back. You can tell he’s getting a little tense himself. He disables the tablet PC using a sleek button on its side and clamps the device under his left armpit.

„You spent almost four hours selecting all the extended details,“ he says. „That helps us a lot. Baekhyun quickly developed into our favorite project to work on. He’s a very self-aware and attentive android.“

You nod, absent-minded already. What matters is that you finally reached the end of the fucking corridor. And just how high your level of adrenaline has been rising. It feels like a gyro drop at full throttle.

You murmur a small thank you and watch Mr. Kim swipe his card through the chunky white, bleeping doorknob. A green light appears from above the door and it scoots open.

„Over there,“ he brings his left hand forward, ushering you inside.

In the middle of the dome-like room before you is a platform sporting an adjustable mechanical frame. Chrome, light aluminum, something of that kind. A terribly odd construction, but almost mundane for a faculty of this caliber. Everything smells painstakingly sterile.

There are similar set-ups you’ve seen in the hospital you got your appendix removed in last spring. Whether that’s a good sign or not you can’t tell over the buzzing inside of your head. This shit has you way too clamped up in the stomach.

You try to focus on observing as good as you can. Back to the here and now.

The frame holds a shiny grey capsule reminiscent of a cocoon. Mr. Kim steps forth toward the pod and swipes across its surface with a gentle right hand. That triggers a series of mechanisms at the back of the capsule, causing it to gain opacity.

Within seconds, a quirky silhouette with elegant limbs appears inside the cocoon. Your hands tremble even more. This is the moment you downed three large fucking cups of coffee for this morning after two winding hours of sleep.

„There he is,“ Mr. Kim announces, audibly proud.

Once the capsule is fully transparent, it is turned upright by the frame shifting about— and dissolves. The cocoon is gone.

The man that now stands before you slowly comes to life as if waking up from a fifty-year-long slumber.

Chapter 2: Enamel

What you first notice is his hair: Whiter than pearls, almost platinum. It’s long enough so see a slight bend in it. Whether it is actual hair or some kind of artificial fiber seems quite impossible to tell. It’s all matte, gently moving. Underneath its softly parted bangs open—

Baekhyun’s eyes. You can’t help but get tunnel vision and an awkwardly stiff posture. Even if they still look sleepy, there is so much movement in them already. They are perfectly droopy and teddy-like, turning toward you with a shapely, slightly long button nose in between. Either iris is deep and dark to the point of no pupil being immediately recognizable. There is something very intentional in his gaze that makes you hold your breath.

At a second glance, it appears as if a thin layer of beige eyeshadow was smudged right around both lash lines, drawing even more attention to the little gleam in the eyes themselves. All around the lab, the faculty’s scientists have placed huge round neon light spheres as lamps, one emitting a light more uncomfortable than the other. But in Baekhyun’s eyes, they appear like distant planets.

Seconds pass. You stare. Then, a voice light and airy knocks you out of your frozen state.

„I am very glad to be with you now,“ Baekhyun’s lips begin to move. You audibly breathe in even harder.

They are small, rosy, angular at the cupid’s bow— revealing a subtle smile with beaming teeth and red gums above. And even though they are bright, none of his teeth appear remotely the same, even, nor too symmetrical.

Imperfect like nature, they look just like yours or anyone else’s. You wouldn’t have guessed, not in a million years, that they are made of ‚steadfast, durable acrylic‘ as it said on the website. His smile looks— so real.

„Very nice to meet you, Baekhyun,“ is the only thing you manage to blurt out, extending your hand. Your brain is running on emergency autopilot.

In this moment, it feels like you are more robotic than the robot before you.

The gentle squeeze of Baekhyun’s gently forthcoming hand feels warming. Where you expected cold metal, a smooth heat spreads in your palm. Besides a small whirring sound that seems to emanate from his shoulder joints and wrist, the way he shakes your hand is fluid, malleable to how your own arm angles towards him. Almost — intuitive?

„I’m sorry if I smell like oil and metal. That will fade,“ chirps Baekhyun, lighthearted and boyish, letting go of your hand. It took you a solid eight seconds to initiate a withdrawal. The shame of feeling so desperate drives a pulsing heat into your face. Guinness world record for longest human-android handshake here we come.

Mr. Kim can’t help but laugh behind you, then ends up mumbling into his non-existent beard.

„Exceptional… truly exceptional. Our language specialists have outdone themselves. Even the voice modulation.“

Whatever that exactly means, you nod along anyway. And you almost thought Mr. Kim was laughing at you.

You rebuke yourself for getting way too defensive. It’s not that your synapses would bother dealing with complicated information like this right now to begin with.

„His voice is— It’s just how I pictured it. It’s so beautiful.“

It doesn’t sound recorded or like some random car navigation system’s speaker at all. It’s almost as if he was being perfectly synchronized by somebody standing right behind him. Only a minimal distortion at the end of his sentences gives away how his words are being generated, processed, pieced together. Other than that, his light and animated tone sounds authentic to a surprising extreme. For some reason, it’s almost as if he’s singing. He speaks surprisingly fast, too.

„You have to compliment yourself,“ Baekhyun steps forward a little, and the capsule frame behind him removes itself from the room’s center platform with a zooming noise. „My voice is designed after your imagination.“

„That’s, that’s nothing. Mr. Kim did all of the important work,“ you negate, way, way too fast, and you bite your lip for almost interrupting him.

„Baekhyun is correct,“ Mr. Kim retorts, now appearing on your left with a clipboard in his hand. He must have fetched it while you were busy being a marble statue. „He’s proof of what fantasy can achieve.“

He smiles, then begins to tick boxes on the board, using a shiny, bold black pen from his lab coat’s chest pocket. Baekhyun smiles a marvelous smile right along.

He is truly hypnotizing to your eye. The more you can take in his entirety, the more overwhelming it is, and there’s no way you can get enough of it.

His skin in particular catches your attention. It is embued with a light bronze sheen. His neck, his arms, his face: All different ways of sunkissed, but still appearing as a consistent whole.

Upon a closer look, you even see a few moles and the finest hairs— on his underarms, the chin, the linings of the cheeks. The steep jaw, too. You remember a detail on the website saying that he can actually get goosebumps, so going by that the little golden fuzz is able to move.

You’ve never seen skin like that in your whole life, and yet, it feels natural. The evenness is not the same anywhere. In some spots, there are subtle blue streaks and elongated bumps, as if there were veins. His neck and hands sport the most prominent bits. Around his wrist and elbow area, you can clearly see bone structure denting through. It’s like real skin on a skeleton. His collar bones are acutely visible, as are his knuckles and cheekbones.

„Baekhyun’s haptics are perfected to a single pore,“ a scribbling Mr. Kim picks up on your lasting, travelling gaze. „Elastic, but sturdy, and still extremely soft. You can touch him like any other person. The skin mimics the same properties except that it hardly ages. It is also heated to body temperature.“

Now you know where your money went into. And why Baekhyun’s hands felt so astoundingly real. You wonder how it would feel if he would—

„Quite alright,“ you gawk, chasing away a gazillion of incoming thoughts. All while feeling what seems like an entire waterfall of sweat trickle down your lower spine. You grant yourself the annual award for the most inept conversationalist nation-wide. „Does that need any maintenance?“

„Principally… he is a self-maintaining system,“ Mr. Kim finishes up with his paperwork. „Even small damages he can repair without you having to bring him here. He can log into our databank and get updates if necessary, though that rarely occurs with leisure models. All very discreetly, of course. The, well, the only thing Baekhyun needs from you is regular interaction. As I said: Learning is vital to him. Absolutely vital. You can talk to him like with anybody else.“

„That I can uh provide! I mean sure!“

You exhale. Slacken. Try to keep your feet parallel to each other. If interaction is the only thing needed to keep Baekhyun on his toes, your toolbox can gladly stay in the basement. Lord knows you’d be a lackluster bot mechanic. Casts, sculpture, linguistics and whatnot, on top of any screws to tighten.

„It’s a pleasure,“ a very smoldering Baekhyun straightens his body, and along with it his crisp white outfit. Which you… already like a lot.

It’s tailored rather snugly to his slim frame. You believe it’s got to be synthetics he’s wearing, a thick kind of fabric. As if you didn’t sweat already, the top is sleeveless. Even if he appears quite slender, Baekhyun’s upper arms are nevertheless muscular. The way he straightened up only emphasizes how toned he is.

„And I’m sorry I made you nervous,“ Baekhyun continues, softy gazing over your face. „Seeing someone with enamel eyes is not the most common thing.“

Now your posture becomes equally as upright. The marble statue is back.

„Enamel?“

As if you forgot whatever the hell language is. Mr. Kim must think you’re a complete fool. And Baekhyun, anyways. You already realize how well he can read situations. And— well, your very face. It’s been one of your top requirements in the customization form, after all. It comes back to bite you.

„We normally use plain glass. For the ocular apparatus, I mean,“ Mr. Kim puts away his clipboard, seemingly content. „But since Baekhyun’s eyes are so dark, engineer Park suggested a coat of enamel to emphasize shine. It adds to the visual. Otherwise, his eyes would swallow all light if you will.“

That’s why the lamp reflections are the way they are in Baekhyun’s eyes. It really is a kind of shiny effect. Not even Tulo, the new palm-sized puppy of your friend Hwasa, has such a vivid expression.

In a following moment of sobriety, you let Mr. Kim’s words repeat in your head. Ocular apparatus. It feels so weird to talk about Baekhyun’s face this way. But it helps to remind you once again. He is man-made. For you. Convincingly well.

„Do you like it?“ Baekhyun promptly asks. „It is the department’s goal to make them look as real as possible.“

„I… I can’t complain. It’s incredible. Really incredible.“

If not absolutely staggering. Your whole body feels tingly.

Baekhyun shifts close to you by the millimeter the more you gape right at him. In the meantime, Mr. Kim stuffs his pen back into the lab coat with an understanding hum.

You have no idea what Baekhyun will do now.

Chapter 3: He Treats You So Right

„So, you agree to matching up with client 2B6?“ Mr. Kim asks Baekhyun.

„I do, sir,“ comes a faithful answer right away. Baekhyun’s cheeks become fuller in a beaming smile.

„Are you satisfied with the result and would like to take Baekhyun home?“ Mr. Kim now turns to you.

„Y—yes, I… I want to.“

You don’t even dare to blink. It feels like you’ve grown roots to the ground.

Is this a marriage ceremony? Is the kiss next? Are you supposed to strip on the spot to seal the deal?

But Mr. Kim is stoic.

„I see you are ready to go then. Baekhyun can explain most of his features by himself, anyways. Better than me, even.“

In fact, he sounds more hurried and neutral now. There’s work waiting for him, you can tell. And he sure as hell had his fair share of impatient clients.

You clench up hoping that you looking at Baekhyun like that isn’t that kind of—

Neediness?

You wish you could deny it. But you’ve made the purchase, you limped all the way here. It’s already obvious, it has to be. There’s no way they don’t pick up on it. It’s what drives Mr. Kim’s business almost endlessly, anyways. In this very moment, ten, maybe twenty, even thirty other bots are presented to clients in rooms scattered all over the faculty.

You have to pull yourself together. It’s not like you’re the only one. You center back to Mr. Kim.

„He can?“

„Yes. Any autonomous bot should be able to explain themselves, it’s what I believe in.“

Now that sounded like conviction indeed.

But you wonder why Mr. Kim still bothered going on tangents, then. But yet again, whatever was on the clipboard was a test run he had to monitor or something like that.

The way he asked Baekhyun if he wanted to match up with you must have been part of that. Baekhyun had agreed so fast and warmly, in such a genuine way of speaking.

Even now, his eyes look so inviting and full of reassurance. Without a single word.

Maybe he likes you. If he can feel something like that.

Or thinks of you as a… rational option. Why would Mr. Kim ask about ‚allowance‘ — or whatever it was — in such a manner, anyways? Wouldn’t it mean that Baekhyun did have a sense of affection? Trust, even? Maybe it was just a formality. A contract, or you were just reading too much into it. But it already stuck with you.

Mr. Kim monotonously continues. Maybe he notices how preoccupied you are. Or, after all, it’s a sentence he must’ve said a thousand times.

„If any other question arises, you know how to contact us.“

„Okay, great. I, I don’t know how to thank you.“

„Your contentment, that is the biggest reward,“ Baekhyun finally enters the conversation again. With a very, very big smile.

His eyes unequivocally ask for permission to touch you, and you grant it nodding. Whatever he wants to do— if Baekhyun is trusting towards you, now it’s your turn.

Baekhyun softly places his left hand on your upper arm, pointing toward the longer end of the lab room with the other.

„We’ll take the elevator over there. You can relax your foot a little. I hope we haven’t caused an inconvenience to you. We’re taking it slow on our way.“

Mr. Kim looks just as taken aback as you, if not more.

„Her foot?“

Baekhyun gazes back at the two of you as if you just asked him whether water is wet.

„It’s blatantly obvious by the way she stands, Mr. Kim. Recovering strained Achilles heel.“

The air is laden with gasoline, the cement blocks all around sleek and cold. Slowly approaching your silver little car in the cramped underground garage’s second story, Baekhyun first seems to scan the vehicle, then turns his head to you – seamlessly. You already anticipate him commenting on whatever scratch or rusty spot first caught his eye.

But instead, he looks courteous as ever.

„I can act as your chauffeur if you desire. Today’s traffic is very busy. I’m a smooth operator.“

You can’t help but laugh a little and picture Mr. Kim feeding a Sade playlist into Baekhyun’s system. Or who knows, any robot likely has instant access to Youtube with their hypermodern internet minds.

„Sounds convenient.“

You head towards the passenger seat after passing him the keys, with Baekhyun aptly entering the car from the other side. How his knees bend, how he slides right onto the seat. With such an oddly fluid way of doing it. It doesn’t escape your glance how easily he settles down and fastens his belt right away.

The scientists have really tested for everything.

Robots are legally permitted to drive since only five years and few are advanced enough to do so.

His side profile looks smooth from where you sit. The chin pointed and sharp, the nose straight, slightly long, and dainty. Baekhyun grips the steering wheel quite expertly with his left hand. He turns the key with the other.

„Your convenience is the most important to me. And I like driving vehicles,“ the engine starts. „It’s birds of a feather.“

You fasten your own seat belt, but rather as a reflex than by deliberation. You really have to stop yourself from consistently looking at him with what must be the most puzzled you’ve been yet.

„Oh, you mean, you get on well with other machines?“

„Your car has similar gears to mine, I can’t help it. Family.“

The engine revs up a bit, then quickly develops into a sonorous purr. Whenever you drive — your car strangely never sounds like that. On your way to the faculty, the engine rather resembled a gone-wild Spanish bull stomping and grunting around in heat.

Now that you think about it — Baekhyun spent over three years in the faculty complex. Who knows with what kinds of other machines he has communicated with. Comparing yourself is arguably unfair.

„Maybe grease is thicker than water,“ you say, cramped up fingers intertwining. You don’t know where your wit has been until now. At least you can try.

Baekhyun looks quite amused, actually.

„And yet, water runs much deeper,“ he says, turning the wheel.

The car already exits the garage’s wide neon-lined gate. Baekhyun enables the A/C with swift fingers. They’re strikingly pretty. Thin, long, and elven-like. His nails are perfectly almond-shaped and look peachy.

Once more— you have to snap yourself out of another way too detailed thought. The way he touched your arm left an impression.

You feverishly search for a conversation topic, all while trying to let your eyes wander around the street.

„Is there something like… bots missing the faculty?“ you ask, swiping a few strands of hair off your right cheek. The A/C is messing with your hair a little. Baekhyun has turned it up enough for you to feel sufficiently cooled down, however. „I mean, after such a long time there.“

„By the way you customized me, I already know your home is much cozier.“

You’re trying to catch up with what he said for a solid five seconds. By the time you understand, it dawns on you how ‚he is logical‘ very much extends to some kind of predictive conclusions. That hold to be… very true.

„Ah— I, I guess? So you didn’t like it there?“

„I was built for you, that’s where I belong,“ Baekhyun says, surprisingly firm in tone. „Mr. Kim said he’s not surprised I grew bored of the environment but couldn’t figure out how to find something to do.“

„Oh… I can imagine, the faculty very much looks that way.“

You’re perplexed — because Baekhyun shakes his head.

„It’s not the place,“ he says, and you can hear his voice becoming more serious. „It was you who was missing. That I felt that way was a natural thing. I apologize if this is too early to say so frankly.“

The car takes a suave right turn, entering the bustling main street. Cabs everywhere. Confusing flashes from traffic lights and tall glass windows at every corner. Alongside many of Brooklyn’s most crisp-looking skyscrapers, a few giant advertisement boards pass by. Two of them display the familiar, ever-looming logo.

>>> AndroTech Leisure Bots Inc <<<

  Moscow | New York | Seoul

Beneath it, a corresponding slogan in red print.

He treats you so right.

You try to gather your words. But they spill, and you can’t really look at him.

„No— I mean. It’s important we’re… you know, compatible. Isn’t that, that’s the entire deal behind all of this? That we like each other. It would be silly to do anything else. Especially when this is all so… deliberately done. You don’t have to say sorry, Baekhyun.“

Your friends would probably cringe at you saying this out loud. The majority of them think you’re an oddball spending not just the money, but so many days being nervous about meeting ‚some robot’.

Busy forever customizing ‚just a piece of talking plastic and metal’. Even Hwasa was skeptical. Hyuna said it’s kind of weird to buy someone, something like that as she emphasized. But with Baekhyun next to you, the words just come out.

It feels like you’re talking to— a person.

„Thank you. I haven’t heard any other client talk about a product like that. Nobody is obliged to do this.“

„That’s sad. And I don’t think you’re just a product.“

„You really bothered a lot with me. I promise to show my gratitude.“

Baekhyun lends you an arm to limp down the small garden pathway without putting too much weight on your foot. The door to your ugly duckling of a yellow row house has always been notoriously moody, but today, it creaks particularly loud.

Baekhyun begins to inspect it, briefly caressing your back along the way even if he seems quite preoccupied with the problem. You can hardly think straight and get lost in the touch —

Until it happens.

Your grumpy old neighbor, Mr. Lee from the opposing lawn, is not fully seen behind the large bush that separates his terrace from yours, but almost definitely heard with a loud huff of disapproval.

„Eh!“

He’s observed you arrive. Or rather, heard. Probably sitting in his rusty beach chair, smoking, wearing one of his old pastel golf shirts. You can practically feel the scorch of his falcon eyes burning a hole into Baekhyun’s chest at a distance of several dozen feet.

Chapter 4: Pink Clouds

Right through like a laser cannon. It’s not like it’s particularly cold, not in this area anyways, it’s a warm spring this year. But you do shiver for a second.

„Goes on my list to fix right after the scratch on the hood,“ Baekhyun remarks in the meantime, giving the hinges a quick glance before quickly closing the door.

Mr. Lee he doesn’t even notice.

You decide to play it cool and not rub it into Baekhyun’s face. He didn’t even turn his head after Lee’s single-word, but very telling hmph tirade.

Maybe it would weigh too heavy on his mind to get an odd glance by someone else right away at his new home. Or maybe you’re projecting. But you never know how he’d take it. He has to feel welcomed by you in the first place, you think, not some bigoted grandpa who knows nothing. Mr. Lee is such a boomer.

You’re glad Baekhyun is unfazed. And, maybe even oblivious?

„I quite like the door like this, actually,“ you say.

You let your hands graze over the old door patina, then lay down your house keys on the nearby window sill. Next Monday, you’ll visit the keysmith to create a duplicate. Everything about arriving together in your home feels unusual. Surreal, almost.

„Removed fixing the door from list,“ Baekhyun nods, taking his white shoes off. „Perfection is perspective.“

You imagine him actually keeping a painstaking file on this. Somewhere on a mile-long server at AndroTech. Now you know why the faculty is so large.

„It probably sounds charming when someone comes home to the other. I mean, when it creaks. I have to get used to that.“

You feel the embarrassment on your face saying that.

You try to see the rational point to distract from your blush. Getting a heart attack from him suddenly standing in your room sounds like something to squarely avoid. Just a day ago, you would have interpreted a second pair of footsteps on this very entrance floor as a very upfront burglar.

„That is a very good reason not to repair it.“

Baekhyun smiles, doing a 360° to marvel at the entrance area in its entirety. As if it wasn’t a terribly small room at all. There isn’t much to see except a pot plant and a copy of Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe print series, but he still makes big eyes regardless. Maybe this is heaven’s gate to someone who had to look at the faculty lights and way-too-large rooms for so long.

You should probably upload a video of this entire moment on your social media, but gripping the phone in your pocket feels odd. There’s no time to think about it twice anyways because Baekhyun comes to pick you up bridal style. That your heart skips more than a beat is in plain view, it has you gasping out.

„No more walking needed today. It’s leisure time!“

He lifts you far above his hip level with ease. Now you know why you wanted his arms to be big and strong. „Alright like this?“

„Wow, okay—!“

His voice is almost like a jingle, but the following squeal is strangely and completely him when he prances down the center hallway of your home. Being carried within your own four walls has knocked you off your feet indeed.

„Let me get you a blanket,“ Baekhyun props you down on your tiny mint green 80s style sofa just two minutes later. In the meantime, he has promised to make you pancakes for dinner. „You were shivering when we arrived.“

The sun has set, leaving the roof window dark above you. Instead, you’ve switched on the little blue, red, white and green lantern fairy lights dangling off the ceiling. Slipping under the sheets together is strange and oddly comforting at once. To have someone else lifting the duvet up at the same time as you. To come together underneath it.

It’s as Mr. Kim said. He is warm. And there’s a heartbeat, faint but constant, locked in his chest. You can hear it quite clearly once you opt for shifting closer to him. Whether you should be perplexed of amazed you’re unsure of. For his part, Baekhyun seems to bother getting cozy more than once by wiggling around. He finds the right position facing you laying on his side.

„You have a nice bed,“ he says, peeking at you. „Do you want to cuddle?“

He looks cute like that.

And why not.

His hair looks even more touchable in the soft light of the tiny lamps.

„Sure,“ you say, but it doesn’t sound like the most natural thing in the world. Your racing heart makes your voice more fragile than you want it to be.

„Like this? Is it alright for your foot?“

Both of you scoot together. You bury your head at his chest.

„Don’t take care of me too much, Baekhyun,“ you murmur into the fabric of his top. You can get used to having your face buried there. He doesn’t smell like grease at all. „My foot is okay as long as I don’t go berserk.“

Today’s sprint through the faculty had been the most Olympic thing you did in twelve months time, but that’s about it.

„Oh! I am sorry. Mr. Kim programmed me to anticipate and be of service as much as I can. Sometimes I go overboard.“

„I can deal with that,“ you nuzzle yourself into his chest even more. „Mr. Kim also made you a quick learner.“

„Yes, feedback is very important.“

„Mh, yeah.“

„I wanted to ask something related, actually.“

„Go ahead.“

You can’t help but clench your legs together. Bite your lip.

„You were clearly distressed when we arrived,“ his voice becomes serious. „I wasn’t sure whether it was because of me or something else.“

You feel your chest tighten.

Oh.

„Something else. It was something else. It’s not you, Baekhyun.“

„I figured. You were trying to distract from something so I wouldn’t be concerned.“

„It’s hard to hide bullshit from you,“ resurfaces your voice from his chest when you draw your head back from it.

„A bot doesn’t bother with issues, he solves them.“

He sounds confident.

„I don’t know if you can deal with this case.“

„You won’t know. You haven’t told me, after all.“

You sigh.

„It’s… someone who doesn’t like bots very much.“

„Who is it? Is there someone bothering you because of me?“

„Mister Lee. He lives next to us.“

„I see. What happened with him?“

Baekhyun’s response actually sounds far more composed than you thought. His tone is quite soothing.

„He was giving us strange looks when we arrived. Not the meh kind. The aggressive kind. You should stay away from him.“

Lord knows Mr. Kim did not build you some kind of war machine to fend off a raging boomer armed with a hark, golf club, and probably a bucket of water to shortcut Baekhyun.

„It must be a bad experience with another model. That’s what usually happened in such a case. He doesn’t know me personally, after all.“

„Maybe. It is not your fault, either way.“

„There are many people who are afraid of androids for many reasons,“ Baekhyun shrugs. „Jealousy, conspiracies, feelings of not being enough. Some of them even become clients and mistreat their bots, Mr. Kim has told me about a few cases.“

You’re taken aback.

„Why would they?“

„It’s the ultimate control or revenge experience. It’s a legal grey area.“

A silence follows. You don’t want to imagine these things but can’t help but do.

„Then I’m surprised Mr. Lee doesn’t own a bot himself. His… hatred is very strong for your kind.“

„I’ll research in our data banks about this. Maybe he had.“

„You think something went wrong?“

„It can happen.“

„Just… don’t get yourself involved with him up close. He’s creepy. Even if you know about cases like this.“

Baekhyun cocks his head into a smile.

„You’re protective of me. I appreciate that.“

And yet again— He caught you. Whether there is anything Baekhyun doesn’t see right through is reduced to a rhetorical question at this point. Sugarcoating wasn’t relevant on your website form in the first place.

„I’m… sure you look out for yourself. Just didn’t want you to feel unwanted the second we arrive.“

You avoid his eyes. Again.

„It wasn’t necessary, but that makes me feel even more welcome, you know,“ Baekhyun faithfully invites you to snuggle back up against him by leaning forward. „Few owners shield their products from harm. Other than for reasons of us being expensive investments.“

„I dunno. Aren’t most bots sentient?“

„To a degree. They’re built to resemble humans as much as possible.“

„Then— I think, emotional harm is just as shitty as some gears getting torn off or something. If there is consciousness in you. You think for yourselves after all.“

You state it with conviction. Mr. Lee doesn’t seem to realize anything of that.

„I do perceive it. But my brain makes it so that I draw neutral conclusions often. Maybe it’s because my purpose is to be of convenience. No owner needs a dwelling Shakespeare robot defunct in a day-long crisis because he self-indulges. Although I am able to recite all his plays.“

Neutral conclusions. You don’t think you fully understood that yet. Was it— Just like how Baekhyun reacted to Mr. Lee’s taunting? He wasn’t enraged nor happy. He didn’t register it at all.

„Is that… why bots stay with abusive owners?“

You try to utter this carefully, and most of it gladly turns out muffled. Still, Baekhyun acutely understands. You can tell by just how fast he answers.

„The bot will rebuild or reprogram oneself in case of damage. But walking back to Mr. Kim a model would never do. Feeling traumatized or targeted is foreign to us. We could be bored at most,“ Baekhyun shrugs again, and you remember how he experienced the faculty. Boredom. „But that’s only because our processors suggest we need new input and learn.“

Now it makes sense. You give a sharp nod.

„A robot doesn’t become a victim,“ Baekhyun continues. „He becomes trash in a worst-case scenario. A waste of material and innovation. And even then, he won’t feel sad. If he does look sad, it’s to accommodate the feelings of someone who feels sorry for him. And for showing an appropriate situational cue. It’s picked up solely from language we acquired, and our courtesy protocol. Not something like hormone receptors. If we are destroyed for fun by an owner, that’s the emotional baggage of nobody. Mr. Kim perhaps, but he will just build another bot. While we— well. It’s not a concern to us, naturally. We will protect ourselves only to preserve what the client purchased.“

„So… That’s where humans and androids are different.“

„It’s the last gap in science. That we really feel something below the surface. Maybe it’s a blessing, maybe it’s not. Sometimes I wish I could learn it.“

„I think you could experience a feeling like that. You’re self-aware. And Mr. Kim is probably building this whole hormone thing as we speak.“

„It’s quite a thought experiment. On the one hand, I was created to make rational decisions. On the other, I wish I had the presence to live through self-generated, volatile emotions.“

„Isn’t yearning for feeling not feeling already?“

„It is of academic interest. That I want to evolve and experience myself is a wish programmed into to me by Mr. Kim. Because it was a wish by you.“

„Right.“

On the website, you had specified to make Baekhyun self-developing.

„Maybe I will feel something one day.“

„I am convinced it could happen.“

„Until now, I can only mirror someone else’s feelings. With words and the strings that move my face to make expressions.“

„I think I know why many people are jealous of robots. They don’t have the burden of this chemical cocktail inside of them. The irony is… robots want to have that cocktail while humans want to get rid of it.“

Baekhyun picking up on your every mood and approaching you so eagerly with his observations of it is no longer a mystery. He tried to assimilate the sentiments as much as possible. To grow, evolve, whatever the objective might be called.

„The grass is always greener on the other side as they say. Maybe that’s why we do this exchange.“

„That’s like people with curly hair wanting straight hair and the other way around. Never content with that they have and valuing the opposite.“

„Are you not happy with your own cocktail yourself? You sound like you do.“

„It’s… a lot of responsibility to have this. And a hassle anyway.“

Baekhyun chuckles. It must have been an equation in his mind.

„Humans don’t like feeling something negative. It’s interesting how strong their survival instincts are. Bots don’t have this.“

„Yeah. We crave happiness.“

„I will probably never know what that is like. I was created for fulfilling someone else’s.“

To have someone made to make your survival easier. And to make you happy. It’s not something you can yet grasp. You feel obliged to be grateful.

„I wish you could feel it.“

„Your wish is my command, I have to thank you.“

„Maybe this human cocktail is good for at least something. Inspiring someone who can’t have it.“

„From an outsider’s perspective, it is quite something, actually.“

„So— It mends your ‚boredom‘ when you make us happy? And that makes you ‚happy‘?“

Baekhyun nods.

„That’s how it is. Maybe happiness for a bot translates to their brain and physical form getting fed information. We don’t feel how we enjoy this process, but we see how our system thrives when that information comes in. And that registers as a task fulfilled. Which is the best state of a robot to be in.“

„Is it that helping you learn about things makes you something… close to happy?“

That Mr. Kim stressed so much that Baekhyun needs interaction for input doesn’t seem so overstated anymore.

„Yes. But it’s not ‚about things‘.“

„Oh?“

„It’s helping me learn things about you.“

His voice is serious. Your legs feel kind of wobbly at that.

„The regular conversation thing, right.“

„It’s the only requirement from you. It might not seem like a lot, but to me, it’s important. I depend on new things coming my way.“

„Do other clients get that request to talk a lot with their bots, too?“

„Most need only a minimal amount of input. I’m one of the few leisure models who was customized with an emphasis on intellect.“

„Made you a bit of a contradiction I guess.“

„Mr. Kim said that it’s what makes me one of his favorite projects. It’s because of your ideas and that you cared to make me special. I am important to you in some way.“

The word strikes a chord.

Special.

Maybe Baekhyun is. And you bolstered yourself up by making him so to escape the lonely single pringle void. Equipping him with intricate characteristics to give him and yourself a kind of—legitimacy?

Then again, you haven’t interacted with other leisure models other than watching overedited videos of them. Each of those bots could be equally complex. Knowing of Mr. Kim’s genius that sneaks into everything a bot does, the benefit of the doubt still rules.

„Lots of learn talk, then. Anything specific to make it, I mean, quality input?“

Who knows, you think, he might want to learn foreign languages.

„There is a way of making it particularly effective,“ Baekhyun says.

„Remind me often, then. What is it?“

You anticipate some grand revelation. But Baekhyun doesn’t look like it.

„It’s when you touch me. When we, we touch each other. I was built with this in mind. Kinetic learning is what I process best.“

„Touch…—“

„If this is okay for you?“

Almost instantly— You flush. And nod.

„Your skin is unbelievable.“

„It has memory, actually. In particular places it’s very pronounced. Do you want to try it?“

„Yes.“

Baekhyun eases out of your cuddling position first, then loosens the velcro of his top, making space for his bare chest.

What you see shortens your breath.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

His eyes invite you to lay your hand between his collar bones, actually, just a little bit lower. He is entirely comfortable, even leaning forward into the touch.

Judging by how he opens his top even more, your hand has permission to trace down to his solar plexus. So warm and soft, and still: Firm, as if he worked out every day last week.

„What is meant by memory, actually?“ you can’t keep yourself from asking, even with your attention almost fully centered on how his chest arches under your fingers as if he was breathing.

And again, the heartbeat. Your fingertips delight in its strong pulse.

„The more you enjoy something, the more often I can give you the opportunity.“

„That’s how it works, then…“

„Since you like stroking my chest,“ Baekhyun looks down on your hand. „If you allow, you won’t see me with this top on lying next to you often.“

You suck in air. Wow.

„You don’t beat around the bush, Baekhyun.“

„There is no reason not to if I want to please you as much as possible.“

„I would like it. If you prefer that?“

Now, he seems surprised.

„Nobody has asked me this before.“

„Really?“

„My principle is this. If you prefer it, I do.“

„You don’t have your own preferences with these kinds of things?“

„I can come up with ideas. Things for us to try when we touch. But I won’t be partial. It’s all your part.“

„That’s a lot of responsibility for me,“ you puff out. Baekhyun shakes his head right away.

„Someone who customized every last detail of me is a very decisive person. And don’t feel burdened,“ he says. „I already know you like to take everything step by step. When I carried you, I felt it. You don’t have to worry. Just feel my heart.“

Maybe he knows you better than you do.

„Okay.“

Using his right hand, he reaches towards his chest. Baekhyun’s hand ends up cupping yours. Minutes pass. You survey his heartbeat. Sometimes, it switches pace. After almost twenty minutes pass and your lids start to flutter, Baekhyun switches off the lights and whispers goodnight.

Bright Saturday noon daylight. Bustling flocks of people. Weekend joys, lots of pocket money spent. You can smell fries, candied fruits, popcorn, and cigarette smoke all around.

„Normally, I’m a stay-at-home android,“ Baekhyun says, close beside you. „I didn’t know this could be so entertaining.“

Together with you, he watches a bearded Italian man at a stall. Expertly, the man swirls feathery light cotton candy threads back and forth with a thin stick. It smells amazing. Slowly but surely, letting thin layers of floss gather.

„I just try to go by Mr. Kim’s advice and introduce something new,“ you laugh, meanwhile handing the Italian’s assistant two coins for your candy floss.

„I never knew something like an edible pink cloud could be made.“

Baekhyun ogles the Italian as if he were a magician, prompting stifled laughter in the queue of the stall.

„I’m actually surprised,“ you pick up the wooden stick, then take your first bite. „That it’s not something you were already programmed with knowing.“

Side by side, you stroll off the stall, letting the other queuing customers step to the counter now.

„The faculty is like it’s own universe,“ Baekhyun shrugs. „The scientists don’t think about pink clouds there. I’m only a reflection of what they can imagine a prototype to be like.“

You get what he means. In such a sterile environment, you don’t think about sweets.

„Guess I’ll take you out of town more often,“ you pull apart the candy floss a little. Then, you hand Baekhyun a piece of it. You know he’s practically dying to touch it by the way his fingers twitch. Unsurprisingly, he immediately begins to poke into it.

„I like the funfair a lot,“ he nods. Meanwhile, you begin to stroll, passing other stalls every so often. „There are so many people. And this feels almost as soft as your hair.“

„Really? It surely isn’t.“

„Scientifically and physically speaking—“

„Okay, okay, I believe you.“

„I wish I could eat pink clouds myself.“

„The taste is like, well caramel, if you know what that is?“

„Caramel is a mixture of sugar, salt, cream, and butter,“ Baekhyun’s voice snaps into what you think is some kind of memory mode. „Henri Le Roux was the first chocolatier to sell it in 1980, though it is said to be an originally Arabic treat. Traditionally, it is served in small blocks that have about the same color as honey.“

„Yes exactly, and it’s really sweet.“

„What does sweet taste like?“

„Oh… I don’t even know how you could describe that. It’s kind of addictive? Very light… pleasant. Maybe, just how you believe a pink cloud tastes like.“

„If it’s pleasant, it’s a good thing,“ Baekhyun offers you the piece of floss that you gave him. „Maybe we should visit the stall again after we saw the carousel.“

„I’ll get cavities, Baek, and the portion is huge!“

„Oh— I’m sorry,“ he retreats his hand again, keeping the piece to himself. „I’ve never felt how it’s like to have a stomach.“

„You’re both lucky and not so lucky, then. You can’t eat candy but you can’t get stomach aches either.“

Baekhyun doesn’t quite look like he agrees, but keeps on gently kneading the cotton piece in his hands. Almost like a stress ball, but you can tell he gauges its characteristics.

A bot must hardly ever feel stress. Unless you do have him play tennis, or whatever else Mr. Kim would suggest Baekhyun to do for the sheer academic fun of it. But again — You remember saying that Baekhyun knows your home is cozy. Maybe he likes doing relaxed things and going out this way.

„Where humans have a stomach,“ he says, patting his belly, „I have an engine. It can be defect if I’m reckless.“

„That’s fair enough!“ you laugh, then point at the white and yellow carousel that begins to shift into sight behind the stalls. „I sure as hell won’t make you ride this one.“

„It’s so large!“

The big eyes he made at the cotton candy are nothing compared to how Baekhyun looks at the carousel.

„It always spins for ten minutes or so. You’ll see in a few seconds. I got vertigo last time I went on there with my brother. Watching is way nicer.“

„I wouldn’t recommend you get in there either, your foot isn’t fully healed yet.“

„Oh, you don’t need your feet for that.“

„Really?“

„You’re pretty much lifted in the air. Look,“ you point at the passengers finding their place. After a lanky guy has controlled all of the security belts, the seats rise, and then stars to spin around at a slow pace. Baekhyun seems like he’s just discovered the formula for beaming someone through space.

„Mr. Park told me there are things like this. And I’ve seen pictures of it. But I didn’t think it’d be like that. They’re flying!“

„M-hm.“

At this point, you are sure Baekhyun has an interest in physics. You decide to linger close to him, observing the seats fly past overhead. People cheer. Baekhyun smiles.

After a while, he turns his head to you. He sees that you’re spaced out. He turns his eyes back to the seats. It’s only after the carousel slows down that he turns to you again.

„Is there something that has preoccupied you?“

„Pardon?“

„You looked like you were wondering about something. Is it the faculty?“

You couldn’t hide the most trivial secret even if you wanted to. At least you won’t have a divorce from your robot husband at 47 because of a skeleton in the closet.

„I… was thinking about a moment before we said goodbye there,“ you say, chucking the wooden stick of the cotton candy into a nearby trash can.

„I knew you still had a question. But you didn’t want to ask in front of Mr. Kim, right?“

Any other person saying this would sound like a smug accuser, but Baekhyun speaks as if he was talking about the weather. There is no guile in him.

„Maybe. I don’t know. I was just wondering what this whole matching up thing was about.“

„Ah, that’s what it was.“

„It was confusing to me. I tried to explain it to myself somehow,“ you shrug. „Didn’t want to make it awkward.“

Looking at Baekhyun, he very well has that explanation up his sleeve. Maybe you should have asked earlier.

„AndroTech believes that robots can make up their minds to go with the client or not.“

„They do?“

„Perhaps not based on reasons that a human would think about to make a decision. But nevertheless, it’s their free will. If he says no, a new bot will be presented to the customer a week later.“

You’re genuinely surprised — and have a thousand questions already.

„I didn’t know that. I always thought that once the money is paid, it’s a set deal.“

Now you’re racking your brain why no such thing was stated on the website. You bet it’s a terms-of-service rule in font size 5.

„Mr. Kim says we should trust our judgment,“ Baekhyun continues. „It’s meant to protect us without being patronizing, I think. We can decide. At least at the beginning. I don’t know if bots like me have left their owners.“

„Maybe it’s a warning for clients who think they can do anything just because they paid.“

„I think so,“ Baekhyun says. „It’s also expensive for the faculty if something with the insurance happens. Or complicated repairs, that kind of thing.“

You’re cocking up a brow.

„That doesn’t have a lot to do with your free will, though.“

„It has to be mutually beneficial. Bots get to choose, Mr. Kim’s projects increase in security by doing that. Companies work by deals. Maybe it’s not a bad thing. I’m thankful I could decide. And I’m thankful they made me.“

Baekhyun’s statement couldn’t sound any more genuine to you, and you believe that he really is.

„You get to see pink clouds,“ you point back to the direction of the Italian stall.

„That, and— I get to see you.“

Baekhyun looks you straight in the eye now. It’s like in the lab room all over again.

You can’t get out anything other than an awkward stuttering noise.

„I, yes.“

„You have to know. I’m only built to learn about things like pink clouds because it pleases you.“

„Are you sure?“ you tilt your head, regaining your full voice tone again. „You wanted to taste the candy, too.“

Baekhyun takes a bit longer to answer now. He seems to ponder.

„That’s true,“ he eventually concludes. „Maybe I’m more selfish than I thought.“

Baekhyun’s head sinks. The eye contact breaks.

You haven’t seen him look sad before, or at least don’t remember it. Even if the funfair is in bright daylight, his eyes look as if they dim down.

„Hey. It’s not wrong wanting a taste,“ you reach forward to cup his chin. „You’re a leisure bot. You have to analyze these things, don’t you? Or, if you could, just enjoy them for yourself, you know.“

„I never thought of it this way.“

„That Mr. Kim gave you the opportunity to decide,“ you linger in your touch, „means that you’re not just here for me. You can experience things from your perspective.“

„I was doubtful it could be true.“

„But it is, Baekhyun.“

„I still can’t try pink clouds…“

„You still can. Just your way, you see. Skin memory.“

You take a moment to muster all your guts and lean in close, then kiss Baekhyun on the lips. They are subtly warm and pliable. Small, but plush. They gently pucker, as if they returned the kiss.

You never thought it could feel so authentic. Even what feels like accelerated breath ghosts over your skin. Baekhyun seems to notice your astonishment, opening his lips just a little. Maybe just to snap you out of paralysis and prove that what you feel is nowhere near the full extent of how he can move.

Or maybe— it is an invitation.

Eventually, you convince your mind that this is not just an illusion. The feeling on your lips is very real.

Unlike moments ago, you don’t hesitate. You let your tongue dip forward just enough to separate his lips by millimeters. They promptly ease around you. Baekhyun’s teeth are considerably small, and it figures, it all fits the petite frame. However, they don’t scratch your tongue one bit, you glide right across them instead. His bottom lip feels plump and works so easily as a cushion.

He’s already relaxed his jaw. You don’t even notice that he hardly tastes like anything. All you are concerned with is lapping the taste of cotton candy into him, and going by how his lips tighten, Baekhyun has understood how to take it in.

A sudden heat permeates you. Along with it comes a lewd idea, flickering before your inner eye. The imagination of Baekhyun sucking on your clit like that makes your tongue pull back to its original position. As if you had to breathe in. He notices. He’ll do something about it. It’s not just the low pressure in his mouth now that you retreated. Baekhyun wants more cotton candy. His dark eyes are begging.

What slips out to briefly nip at your top lip… his tongue. The back of your head surprisingly registers a steady touch by now — it is Baekhyun’s right hand gently cupping the surface your hair. His touch is so nuanced, you don’t feel his fingers, only how your own hair cushions back against your head. By the time his tongue retreats, your lips tingle with warmth.

Now you want more.

All he dared was a little nip, but you are curious of feeling his tongue to explore more. Baekhyun hardly has to riddle what it means that your hand sneaks up to his jaw from underneath and guides his chin toward you.

His lashes shake and eventually cast down when he releases himself into you. Baekhyun’s tongue surrenders quickly between your lips and accepts your tongue, swirling slow and deliberate as if you would coat him with liquid sugar.

Your hand doesn’t feel like leaving its position. Baekhyun’s jaw is narrow and not at all difficult to hold between your fingertips. You let him pulse and lick into you softly. Taste all the sweetness. His bottom lip is all wet and soft against yours. Slow and moaning. You sure do hear him gasp and whine at the back of his throat.

That it’s all just your saliva and his voice is all but a speaker feels so surreal. With Baekhyun’s tongue in your mouth, very aptly moving, it’s all nothing but a kiss with a robot. It feels so hard to part and stop, to catch a breath.

What must have been twenty seconds looking like a semi-chaste, bordering provocative kiss from a certain distance really got your blood circulating. Baekhyun’s eyes have become yearning.

„If that’s what it tastes like…“

„We have a lot to do when we get home.“

Chapter 5: Are You The Machine?

Being times more the social butterfly, Hwasa told you to buy a convertible sofa when you moved in — very much unknowing of Baekhyun joining your household three years later.

The number of birthday parties and overnight guests you actually found the couch useful for you can count on two hands. Six days ago, you were already pondering to give it away. Who knew you would’ve regretted that big time. You promise to write Hwasa a thank you text for being sensible later.

Despite looking small in its usual state, the couch always proves to be much larger than your actual bed in its extended form, and is much firmer to rest on. A little dull with its mint color, but that you can squarely ignore. It doesn’t creak, smells pretty neutral, and is situated in the precise middle of the living room where soft lighting emanates from three corners of the area at once without it being too obnoxious to the eye.

For a guest, sleeping on it would mean a tough night and tense back. But for Baekhyun, it’s a perfectly steady surface to recline on. He’s been stripping off his top true to his promise from last night, neatly folding it afterwards. He lays it aside just as gently as he leans back, being the first one on the sofa.

„Okay, are you ready?“

His tone is relaxing.

„Yes.“

But you don’t let that fool you, climbing on the sofa yourself now. Baekhyun’s eyes rest on you more observant than ever. Calmly, not remotely rude, but still taking in every clue. You realize that it’s what he’s been made for. It’s his hour. So he’s not going to ignore one little detail true to his nature.

You feel naked even if you’re still clothed even if it’s not Baekhyun’s intent. The way you had no chance in hiding your foot injury, you are now all too aware that he sees your nervous breath going deep.

Whenever you’re vulnerable, you opt for the fast lane. Today is no different. Knowing your favorite safe spot, you head for his chest. Baekhyun’s arms accept you knowingly. You’re snug against him in seconds. And kiss his neck, again and again, until you look up to catch another breath.

„Is, is that good?“

You hate saying that but you still did. Making big eyes at him as if it was the first thing you’ve ever done with a man.

Baekhyun visibly notes your haste and struggle for words just so that something is said. He’s deliberate in taking a moment before his answers.

„Can I ask you something?“ he eventually says, with a silvery overlay in his voice swinging along his words.  

„No problem?“ you cock your head. The request is coming soon. You wonder what’s been on his mind. Maybe he doesn’t like neck kisses. You find yourself holding your breath both out of suspense and not to sound like you’re running out of it. It’s like the faculty all over again. Baekhyun smoothes his right palm into the nape of your neck.

„If I could do all the work…“

„Oh—“

„I think we’d be in the spots we’re comfortable in. Please don’t misunderstand.“

„No no, I get it.“

„You don’t have to overextend yourself for me,“ he continues, in a low tone.

„Sorry, Baekhyun,“ you cast down your eyes. „I’m acting all stupid again.“

„I’m not saying that. What I mean is— I can show you how my body works the best when we try it this way. I want to find out every way to make you satisfied. I’m afraid I’m not suitable the other way around no matter how I twist it. Please don’t be sad because of this. Just tell me what to do. Anything. The best way to please me is still to please yourself. You don’t have to worry about me not getting an experience out of it. It’s just happening in my way that might not be visible to you.“

Baekhyun ends with a serious look.

You remember the phrase of Mr. Kim.

The, well, the only thing Baekhyun needs from you is regular interaction. As I said: Learning is vital to him. Absolutely vital.

Once more, you have to remind yourself. What keeps Baekhyun running is nowhere near the same thing as what makes you do what you do.

You turn a bit red realizing it’s not 50 rapid-fire kisses that he needs. Except to know that you like doing that maybe. But other than that, what Mr. Kim said between the lines is that Baekhyun will stagnate or even degenerate if you don’t talk to him the right way. Not about him, but about yourself.

„You… want the essentials to learn. You prefer when I speak and command.“

He gives a clean nod. You got the point.

„I will do everything else. When I say I want to act— This is not me trying to control you or something like that. I just think it’s good to start out this way. I want the weight off those two,“ he points at your shoulders. „You feel a lot of pressure that you have to do something. Me allowing you draining your energy feels counterproductive to me. I’m not saying you’d be bad at pleasing. I merely can’t help it. Fulfilling your wishes, if you will.“

„I’ve never done this before. I try to instruct you as good as I can. Sometimes I forget what you were made for.“

Maybe that learning process involves not just him figuring you out. It dawns on you that your responsibility for Baekhyun is nothing you can underestimate.

„You think of me as a person you can please. I appreciate this. But I want you refreshed and not exhausted like that. And I apologize if I’m very insisting or stopping you. Or if you feel very watched or transparent because I try to understand you. I just have to say this so we work out well from the start.“

Baekhyun’s eyes drop to your chest quite unequivocally. Of course, he’s seen you getting all worked up.

„I, I get that. I get what you mean. I think I’ve tried to bite off more than I can chew,“ you clamp up your hands. „That was too fast. I’m still running on my old bad habits.“

It strikes you in your gut that you’re the one acting like you’re automatic.

Dull, unreflected. Merely reactive if anything.  Do you realize,  you think,  how fucked up that is. Baekhyun has been behaving more human that you do. Are you the machine?

„I’m not… used to someone watching out for me this way. If I’m not saying what I want… all you can do is take every clue you get.“

Admitting that might make you feel tighter in the lungs, but at least it was honest. Maybe that’s part of responsibility, too. You’re starting to get why interrupted you. There’s a roadblock that needs to get taken down. And that block is inside of you.

Baekhyun very well knows you’re not ready nor really craving to bounce up and down on him for half an hour without getting a cramp or looking mighty weird. Not with that foot injury in the first place.

„I won’t need a clue if I already know I can do something for you. That brings me fun. You can be selfish. Be as selfish as you want to until it’s second nature. I know you have good intent. I can help you learn this. But I take the bulk of things. You don’t have to be ambitious with me.“

Baekhyun’s voice really does make you feel like you don’t have to worry about it. Until it’s second nature, then. Being so new to this really makes you scattered in your thoughts.

„I’ll remember this. I, I think I have something that I want you to try with me.“

Your hands unclamp. At least a little.

„All ears,“ he smiles. You push a strand of hair behind your ear. And another one.

„Is it weird if we try something experimental first?“

Starting out slow and uneventful or taking a dare. You went through either scenario in your head already. Either case, you’d overwhelm yourself or make the first time awkward. At least you hope this one works out.

„You gave me over 280 customizations. We can do something different for almost every day of the year. I think anyone would be curious.“

Talk about being too ambitious. You already saw what kind of stir that caused in the faculty.

„Mr. Kim must have thought I’m crazy.“

„He overworked himself. But he said it was entertaining to construct. Almost everything you came up with is now inside here,“ Baekhyun points at himself.

„Still can’t believe it.“

„And I won’t complain about having more options either. It helps me to cater to you much better. Just ask away.“

Very well. You gather yourself already.

It’s not like you’ve been thinking about a certain thing all the way home from the funfair. You try to make it come out cohesive and confident, but all you can do is mumble. Baekhyun’s face so up close makes your words unstable.

„So, uh. It said on the website you have this special mechanism and… you know what I wrote below that in the questionnaire. I was, I was just giving it a try and, you don’t have to do this if that doesn’t work out or something. It was just an idea. I don’t know.“

Somewhere beyond that word spill, you can still see how Baekhyun already looks like he knows exactly what you mean.

„The  Special Request .“

You swallow hard. That sounds like a brow-raising term that probably the entire faculty departments passed around back and forth in their memos and emails. You feel like hiding for 50 years. Maybe you should resort to digging a hole in your garden and disappear from civilization in an underground cave system. Planting beetroots and carrots shouldn’t be too difficult down there, even in this day and age.  

„The… special request. I mean, this is something that I don’t have to do anything for, technically? Not with my foot, right? But I hope this is not too special or something like that.“

Unlike yours, Baekhyun’s face is completely relaxed.

„I’d be glad to test this out with you,“ he says. „And I have to be frank. Mr. Kim said this might have been the best idea you could have given a robot scientist to work on, you know.“

Now that comes as a surprise that makes you exhale pretty sharply. He can’t lie about this, can he?

Again, you feel the blood shoot up to your face. You couldn’t be any more flustered. Maybe this actually wasn’t a too bad idea.

But still. Out of all things, you really asked him to do  this .

Just about the most perverted thing you could think of at the moment.

Special Request. What a mad thing to do. And now you’re here and he said yes. It’s bizarre. You feel the urge to jolt.

„…I’ll be getting a towel.“

But there’s a loving hand rested on your shoulder as you do.

„Y/N. There might be someone else who’s supposed to do that,“ Baekhyun holds you back from jumping up and rolling off the bed entirely. „Your politeness is quite incredible to me, I must say.“

And you did the same mistake again.

You grit your teeth, snap back into Mr. Kim’s advice. Instruct, instruct, instruct. It feels like you have to rewire your brain from scratch.

„Please— bring me a towel, Baekhyun,“ you rephrase, pause in your movement, and take a deep breath. Giving commands like that wasn’t anything like you’ve done with your previous boyfriend. You never dared. You thought it would bother him.

But Baekhyun is headed down the hallway in almost a split second. He returns with not one, but two towels. And— A hair tie.

He hands it to you with a little smile. Baekhyun didn’t miss you swipe your hair out of your face multiple times.

Concentrated in his work, he gets busy stacking one towel at the end of the bed and splaying out the other across the sheets. Waiting, you sit at the edge and watch. His movements are economical and fast. Once the bigger towel of the two is neatly lined up as a square, he stops to look at you.

Okay , you think to yourself.  Next thing you want, next thing… He’s not here to chit chat nor are you. Don’t be silly and ask why he’s looking at you like that. You can’t just ask for towels and it’s done with the whole instruction thing. He doesn’t mind if you say this with more directness. Bots can’t read minds. It’s not like he’s working on autopilot like some other pleasure models do. It won’t sound weird, it’s what he needs. Say something, say something. Keep it crisp now.

„Come pick me up. Settle me on this.“

That’s more like it.

„All as you wish.“

Baekhyun scoops you up from the edge of the bed without any seeming effort. When you first arrived at your house, you already felt just how easily his arms were carrying you. Who’s to blame? In the online questionnaire, you requested nothing less than that.

Given what he’s made of and how he’s powered, his muscle capacity can’t fade. It’s crafted for endurance. You find yourself transfixed on his biceps gulping. That he’s topless and you can feel his heartbeat doesn’t help.

„Is there something wrong with my arms?“ he stops on the spot.

Baekhyun took only the blink of an eye to notice. You might as well blurt out your entire uncensored thoughts whenever they come up. Maybe you’re wrong about the mind-reading thing. Again.

„I was just wondering… You can’t really tire, right.“

He seems to have anticipated the question. Meanwhile, the shakiness in your voice is hard to conceal.

„Every model,“ he retorts, „is instructed to take that into consideration. We’re not getting together with a fellow bot who works the way we do. Mr. Kim told us many times that we have to mind the difference.“

„So this is part of the testing?“

„Yes. Underestimating it is a bad idea. Not because we want to insult a human or anything. It’s just a mechanical thing to mind. We’re just built this way. By virtue of the material if you will.“

„Yeah. You’re really strong…“

As of yet, Baekhyun’s posture holding you is still the very same. He grips you from underneath your upper back and knees without crouching or wavering. His body’s balance is absolute nuts. Every other guy would’ve shifted your weight or his feet somehow. And Baekhyun isn’t even reaching 5’10 or looks particularly buff from a distance. At the carousel, he even looked as if he was a kid.

„There’s no reason to worry,“ he immediately shakes his head. „I’ll be very careful. I know that I have to harness my strength. I’m not going to do things roughly unless you really want it.“

Now that you think about it. He could probably pulverize you with one thrust. Rest in peace, uterus.

„So, you can adapt to me, right?“

On the inside, you already beat yourself up for questioning Baekhyun like that. He’s your creation. Mr. Kim perfected him. He doesn’t have flawed human intentions or ulterior motives. Comparing him to guys who didn’t have your best interest in mind is an unfair thing. All of his body is regulated and under meticulous control. The way he kissed you at the funfair was done with impeccable measure. Everything down to the millimeter. There is no reason to mistrust him.

„If there’s anything I’m programmed to do, it’s that,“ he says through a smile, causing his cheeks to become adorably full. Up close like that, again you notice how small his face is.

„That’s, that’s true,“ you soothe yourself, and make effort to hold onto him. Although you probably wouldn’t fall off by accident even if you randomly flailed around.

„You don’t have to be afraid. I couldn’t hurt you even if I get a bug.“

„Heard about it,“ you say, recalling one of the first videos you watched about pleasure models online.

„I would shut down and Androtech gets an emergency video call that goes straight to your phone.“

Nothing less than that has also been the first bullet point in the online document you received after sending Mr. Kim your questionnaire. You signed the paper only a week ago.

„Okay. Yeah, there are many precautions. Even if your system runs on an error, nothing’s gonna happen.“

„You got it. I’ll do everything slowly, okay.“

Slowly bending forward, he plants you in the center of the sofa with the spread towel well distributed all underneath. You could roll to the side, it’d still cover the area well enough. With you on your back and feet propped up, Baekhyun joins you kneeling on his heels at a certain distance. Seeing him this way makes him look cute. It’s hard to believe that someone sitting so chastely on your sheets could probably elbow any bypassing truck into a street ditch.

You have to gather yourself again. Deep breaths from the belly. The nervousness is back stronger than ever.

Hey. This is what you got him for,  you say to yourself.

Why’d you be a chicken? Baekhyun is just as sweet as you wanted him to be. Strip and get your orgasms. That’s what he’s here for. Not hurling you to outer space or whatever. It’s rude if you pretend anything else and have him wait. You spent too much time customizing the living hell out of the website and Mr. Kim’s team worked too hard on this for you to ruin it like a scaredy-cat. This is what you wanted. Literally, exactly what you were imagining. Now do him the favor to fulfill that, and do yourself the favor. You’re more of a prick if you deprive him of things he can do for you than if you are selfish for once. This is taking way too long. It’s ridiculous. You can make this so simple.

You have to admit that the sudden inner voice came up at the right time for a pep talk. You make sure to put the right weight into your voice.

„Please take off my clothes.“

Chapter 6: Candy Apples

You exhale, mentally flip through the safeword instructions that the faculty website provided at the top of the questionnaire. Stop for stop, pausefor pause, more for more. Straightforward business. They know they’re dealing with nervous clients.

Once Baekhyun is done peeling your jeans off, he nonchalantly tosses them off the sofa knowing very well you made a strange face at him for folding his own clothes. You have to laugh and almost forget that you’re almost entirely naked in front of him for a moment.

Your voice would probably come out too squeaky and trembling at this point. So you take the liberty of reaching for Baekhyun’s wrist. It’s surprisingly small with your fingers loosely wrapped around it. His pretty fingers couldn’t be any more enticing. You questioningly shoot a glance up at him.

„Yes. Guide me,“ he whispers, and it sounds as intimate as it did last night under the fairy lights. „That’s perfect.“

As good as you can, you at least try to get more comfortable on your back. You don’t dare to laxly spread your legs yet, but manage to bring his hand close enough between them. Your voice comes out in staccato, but it’s still more stable than you thought.

„Your thumb… And your index… Please rub me.“

Baekhyun lowers his hand on your core in a soft pace.

„Okay. Very slowly,“ he says. „I’m starting now. And always say stop if you want me to. You know the safeword system, right?“

You nod.

„It said you’ll also give me clues for tapping.“

At least when the situation requires it.

„I’ll be sending Mr. Kim a message that I’m in good hands just like he thought,“ a very content Baekhyun smiles gently at you.

His touch is quite feathery at first, not lingering for too long as to see how you react. Baekhyun’s hands are sweet and slender on you, nor are his palms very wide. They both alternate on and fit well with the very spot they caress in tender intervals. You can be lucky your underwear is still on. His touch would probably shock you if it was skin-to-skin right away.

How long his fingers really are you start to feel when he drags his index finger down from your pubes, across your clit, between your labia, dusting just briefly over your clothed entrance. Your jaw feels like it’s sewn shut. The noises you want to make are too overwhelming. Baekhyun keeps on repeating his strokes until he changes to using both hands at once. Again, being very dainty how they trace the area, but not missing a single inch.

„Shit… You can use more pressure. But don’t do it for too long, Baek.“

Baekhyun doesn’t waste much time. The rubs of his thumb push down on your clit quite a little more. With the fabric of your panties between his finger and you, the friction turns into a languid heat and a slowly oozing wetness getting trapped in the spot. Only his other hand is necessary to feel yourself beginning to soak.

„That’s beautiful,“ is the only comment from him that you can hear through your upcoming moans, now finally let out.

How damp you are is accompanied by Baekhyun’s either thumb dipping into the little hill your clit makes through the white cotton, probably becoming semi-transparent with every new caress. You could go crazy.

„Do what, whatever. Use your entire hand. I mean hands. Use both. Use all your fingers.“

Your moans are thrilled. And as desperate as you’ve been trying to hide. But he only seems spurred by it. That relief helps you loosen up at least a little more.

„I’ll try something, okay. Say how you like it.“

As if the tension on your clit is not enough, Baekhyun has the compelling idea to switch from his thumbs to using both index and middle finger to prod between your labia as if they were headed to penetrate you.

They push against your entrance carefully enough not to tear the cotton, but as proper as having the juicy, wet bit of skin around the opening feel his two fingertips going for their aim with a steadfast precision. They come in just below your urethra, almost sliding past underneath it, all over the fabric, right onto your hole. He knows exactly where to position them, and keeps his fingers locked and circling in the spot.

„Fuck. You’re too good at this. Push it.“

„Once or more?“

„Do it more. Do it as if you were fucking me.“

The hem of your panties gets pulled down briefly with every tug that results from Baekhyun dipping his two fingers forward. By not even half an inch, but you can feel it. The fabric dents inward where he stiffens his fingers and lets them sink into your pussy shallow, as much as the cotton allows.

In the meantime, the upper part of his left hand is preoccupied flat against your clit, making it swell up by giving a rhythmic pulse with a surprising consistency. You grit your teeth. His expression is as concentrated and adoring as always.

You realize that obviously — Baekhyun doesn’t have a dominant hand. Why would he. Left, right, they’re both able to do the exact same thing with the exact same agility and intensity. Or completely different things without influencing each other.

With the many possible scenarios popping up in your mind by knowing that, your legs open by themselves. Baekhyun keeps on patting your clit, but going much slower to drag out the arousal. He’s taking off some pressure, but softly continues.

Meanwhile, his right hand, still pointed right at your core, pokes through your panties swift enough to deepen their reach. Your pussy is all sticky against the cotton, with the blotch of the fabric getting large enough to seep down toward your ass. Before, the wetness had been thin and trickling, but now grows much more viscous and lubricating.

The resulting slick noises are making you feel more turned on than embarrassed. Baekhyun has somehow managed to make it sound more sexy than you thought it could be.

His eager, lowered brows moving along in the smallest arches with every dip only contribute to your legs drifting further apart. Although he is still kneeling as before, he’s hunching forward now. His eyes are stuck on you like magnets. Baekhyun is mesmerized. Either of your inner thighs can feel his breath. Your left thigh even gets a little tickle by his hair strands, right where you are sensitive.

„Baekhyun, ah shit—!”

It’s so hard to hold it together. With an erratic buck out of nowhere, your hips skew Baekhyun’s aim to the upward right. His fingers end up pressing right into your outer labia with the same momentum he just used on your entrance.

You gasp out. Before he can even apologize, you secure his hand right in the spot with your own.

How fast your reflex was rips Baekhyun’s eyes from your pussy and gives you a spike in adrenaline. His surprised face makes you strangely horny.

„No no, go on,“ you bring his fingers right into place. „Squeeze my lips. Please make them really swollen. I want them as red as the candy apples you saw at the fair. Make them so you’ll want to have a big juicy bite.“

„Oh, you can bet.“

The usually so light and sweet smile that Baekhyun carries so often becomes a lot darker, sexier now. His eyes are like two pieces of coal from underneath his bangs. There’s no doubt in his tone. He will execute everything you say to the last drop.

You can already tell what you got yourself into. Ambition is something that you can leave to him. You gave him enough food to chew and devour. Suddenly, Baekhyun’s pussy crazy face is something you want to provoke even more.

„Show me how much you love them. Don’t hold back.“

„I won’t.“

„Make it really filthy for me. Do it like worship.“

„Time for some lip service.“

Baekhyun’s left hand wanders down from your clit. Together with his right hand, it digs into the fabric of your panties to get hold of your labia. One between his thumb and index each, he gives a juicy squeeze to test them, gathering them up in their full fleshiness.

They’re too wet for Baekhyun to have enough grip on them if he just pinches them from either side. He has to use three fingers at once and even succeeds in pulling them forward just enough to have your clit enclosed behind them.

The crotch area of your panties is not wide enough to cover your lips like that. With Baekhyun massaging their inner edge with both of his thumbs, you soon have to deal with the soaked fabric no longer veiling the entire area. The craving in your voice almost takes you aback.

„Shove it to the middle, now. Let me feel your hands. Skin to skin. Do it.“

Baekhyun instantly complies. He centers and lines your panties across your clit that gets a bulky, rubbing coverage that way, all while exposing your bare lips on either side. The fabric stretches across your pussy almost like a thong. The unspoken wow on Baekhyun’s lips does not escape your attention. Nor does the way his tongue darts out. The way he brings his hands on your labia makes your body jerk and wind, twisting the towel underneath your back. His face is so much closer, both the warmth of his breath and the heat of the friction of his fingers makes your arousal pool into even more wetness.

„We’ll change this up,“ you say, catching Baekhyun fully alert.

„Tell me.“

You’re sweating. The idea that comes up in your mind is so many times dirtier than what you first thought while he was kissing you at the carousel — that you have to gather your breath several times.

„Tug here,“ you bring Baekhyun’s left hand to the front part of your underwear. „Pull it upwards. And press my lips together with one hand.“

Bringing up your panties this way leaves the middle line of fabric thinner, as well as tight and squeezing around your clit and labia minora. It slides between your ass cheeks and pulls against both of your holes at the same time.

That way, Baekhyun has an easier time squeezing the outer lips together quite firmly. They’ve become pink and red like ripe strawberries. Your pulse is racing like crazy.

How Baekhyun presses them with his fingers curling forward, your clit becomes even more closed in. Both the tightened up fabric digging into its sides as well as from the front, and the grip of Baekhyun’s right hand on your entire pussy leaves it attacked from all angles. The squeeze is strong and far too delicious.

„Fuck, so lewd, fuck!“

The arousal is like a luscious burn spreading. But it doesn’t sting or rub your clit enough to give it relief. You’re left in limbo, with your pussy lips growing plumper in Baekhyun’s never-tired, busy fingers. You want him to eat and slurp you up whole and stuff his mouth full, and have him trail his cotton candy tongue all over your big clit, but know very well that you’d come in seconds and probably pass out. Your legs twitch far too much already.

„Pause. I’m, I’m not gonna let you eat it for now. For now, Baekhyun. But you know how it would be like.“

Baekhyun stops. He very well knows.

„Your lips, they—“

You wish you had his cock between them and you know he knows, too.

„Need a good filling,“ you whisper to him. „A big one. Big and glazing and oozing.“

Pouring out as much as possible. You can picture it so well. Baekhyun hums right along.

„Yes, Y/N.“

„I can’t wait for much longer. You have something for me?“

„I have.“

Baekhyun’s fingers loosen carefully now. Slow, as not to give you the accidental push over the edge now that the pressure on your clit subsides and it becomes sensitive, easy to set off. Eventually, he is able to let go completely without triggering your orgasm. It leaves you throbbing and even hornier than before.

„Do you want to, or should I?“ he points toward the hem of his pants. You both end up smirking a little to yourselves. You know it’s your favorite part.

„Won’t be taking chances with this one,“ you breathe out, then scoot forward from your recline to hook your fingers at his abdomen. Time to inspect. It’s a welcome break to let your clit off the hook a bit. He’s even warmer than his wrists there.

You only realize that there’s no reason for him to wear boxers underneath when you’re already halfway nearing the spot that seems too bulged out for your own good. Way too bulged out. Shoving Baekhyun’s pants down to his knees entirely, you get to see that Mr. Kim’s engineers really did overwork themselves.

Just as you requested, this part of him has been left deliberately hybrid — the skin showing an actual silver-blue sheen from underneath. Inside, you see copper and titanium-plated ligaments and movable layers that intertwine like fish scales. Outside, a highly elastic blend of silicone and texture-giving material. It’s matte and a bit opaque, but still akin to actual veins being visible in how it’s sculpted.

Baekhyun’s subtle curve looks remarkably elegant. Almost mathematical. You could put his dick next to the Fibonacci Spiral and it would be uncanny.

Now with his trousers removed, you see how easily everything rises and expands even more. The layers inside his cock glide alongside each other seamlessly without the startling noise you expected them to make. Their sound is absolutely minimal.

„That’s the dick I wanted.“

„All for you, Miss. Try it out.“

Chapter 7: Custom Shapes

You can’t resist the urge to touch him, trace a finger across the right side. How easy to the eye the material appears is evenly matched by how soft and smooth his entire length is, peaking in a subtly formed tip with cascading angles. Neither too broad nor bulbous, nor with a protruding edge, promising an easy insertion and smooth thrusts. There’s a deliberate bit of foreskin adhering to it, closing the transition between tip and shaft in a harmonious way. You love his cock. But one thing you want to kick yourself for.

You’ve entirely overestimated yourself in terms of how many inches you want him to get like an idiot. Not to mention the girth.

It’s almost as big as your whole fist. He’s going to absolutely destroy you. You feel your hands starting to shake. The adrenaline drops into a panic.

„It’s too big, Baekhyun. I’m scared.“

„Y/N…“

„I’m really not used to this. It’s going to hurt me.“

Even before you finish speaking, he immediately shakes his head.

„No, no, I’m sorry if it comes across as that. I can make it squeeze more easily if you want. I can do that.“

„Can you?“

„That’s what the plates inside are for. You can try it out. Press it if you want.“

Calming yourself feels hard to do right now. But you follow his suggestion, giving the middle part a proper squeeze. First hesitant, but then, more firmly.

Kinetic memory, you remind yourself.

And he didn’t lie. Everything becomes a lot more malleable than you thought.

The little scale parts visibly rearrange. Where you apply pressure, and it’s still not much at this point, the girth recedes, and slowly bulges back out after you retreat your fingers again.

„So… okay. Okay. It does feel different. That’s working. But it’s still really huge…“

Baekhyun comes to assuage you with his voice now.

„I’m not going to rip you apart, okay. It also doesn’t expand back once I’m inside you.

„It doesn’t?“

„I can make it adapt to how you want it to be.“

The plating does look like it allows for a lot of flexibility. And decent elasticity for that matter. You soothe yourself by squeezing him again, watching the diameter contract inside your palm.

„That’s, that’s good news. And I thought I’d get impaled.“

„It has a metal core but it doesn’t necessarily stay the same,“ Baekhyun continues. „If you want to take it into your mouth, I can do that as well and make it smaller.“

„It’s what I’ve been thinking. I’d get lockjaw otherwise. You have one fat monster.“

Whatever you were thinking when you gave him almost an underarm worth of length on the website, something got the best of you — despite things being so predictable and his customization being entirely up to you.

„I hope I didn’t scare you too much.“

Baekhyun himself reaches down now to squeeze his cock next to your own hand until the copper layers contract. The firmer he does it, the more it adapts. It’s like he said. Maybe you can actually fit this. A big lump that’s been coiling up in your stomach slowly dissolves with that thought.

You also notice that Baekhyun is completely still even if you’re practically in a death grasp around his dick. Anybody else would be squealing and writhing. You again realize. He feels absolutely nothing.

It is all meant just for you.

You have to get that fact into your head. It’s all crafted for your enjoyment. Of course it’s not going to be some immovable way-too-large-dildo attached him. For the amount of money you paid, anyways. You could swear a third of your budget was used to give Baekhyun a high tech wonder wand.

„The good thing,“ he says, „about being made instead of born is that it can be three in one. I know why men easily envy pleasure models who are built in such a way.“

Wait a second. You perk up. What does that mean.

„Three in one… sizes?“

„Exactly,“ Baekhyun begins to recount. „Mister Park phrased it like this. A big girth to look at, medium size for penetration, and a shorter version for oral. Especially if you are concerned. You have a strong gag reflex.“

It’s hard to believe your ears right now.

„How—How did you—“

„While I was making breakfast. I looked into the freezer to see if we have pizza for lunch. And I saw your box with mixed brands of popsicles.“

„Oh…“

That box.

„The smaller ones are almost all gone.“

He must’ve looked at the back of the box where the types of ice cream are all listed.

„Yeah. The mini cones and such.“

And the sandwiches with three types of ice cream inside. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. Your favorites. But why would that even matter? You look at Baekhyun completely incredulous. What on earth was he getting at?

„But the elongated ones,“ he draws an approximate image into the air with his index, „that you have to squeeze out of a tube are untouched. It’s the type of ice cream that you have to wait to melt to rise up from the paper wrap. And when they do and you squeeze, it can shoot up suddenly. That can be uncomfortable to eat for some people. If you have a sensitive throat, you’ll avoid it.“

You feel caught for something you didn’t even commit. How could he make such an accurate conclusion based on what you didn’t eat? You already saw at the funfair how easily he could look up information about food on the spot. Maybe that’s exactly what he did. But still, he connected two seemingly unrelated things without breaking a sweat. He’s really learning fast.

„I’m dating Sherlock Holmes.“

The colorful breakfast fruit plate Baekhyun served up was too delicious to notice that he’d already inspected and organized every inch of your kitchen. Not to mention he was wearing one of your cute aprons with little dancing piglets and sheep on them which distracted you until the toast got cold.

„I’m not going to ignore the hints if they’re right in front of my eyes. Avoiding your discomfort is my first priority.“

You go figure.

„So… you can make it even more perky, then?“

„Not to an extreme degree. But molded to the width of your jaw and teeth,“ Baekhyun points at your chin. „So it will slide in and out very easily.“

„Oh, alright?“

You raise your brows. So it can actually change its shape even more than how he just showed you. You’re starting to like this.

„It’s not going to be painful or make you choke unless you push for it. But when I decrease the length, that shouldn’t happen anyway.“

It really does seem practical. Three in one. The perky version for oral. Why not, the best of all worlds. It’s an advantage of technology, as weird as it sounds.

You mentally send blessings to whoever in the testing department had the guts to brief the colleagues that the big girth version is more eye candy rather than recommended for use. You’d probably clamp up or scream the roof down if he fucked you like that. Let alone do deepthroat.

„Does this mean… you can make it an imprint that fits my mouth? Can I see it?“

He’s really making you curious. You’ve indicated a vague idea of something like that in the questionnaire, but never assumed that the engineers would bother making it into something complex. Up until now, you have to urge yourself to not underestimate how easily inspired they must have been. Somebody really went off.

„I can give you a short demonstration if you help me a little,“ Baekhyun reaches for the towel at the end of the bed, drying off his hands with gentle rubbing motions.

„Okay, just tell me.“

„All you have to do is take it in very slowly. And consistently. It will shape itself that way. I’ll have to give you a few pointers. Can I do that, you want to try this?“

„Sounds good.“

„You can always pinch here if you don’t want to anymore,“ Baekhyun indicates a spot at his right thigh that is just within reach.

„I got it. Just pinch,“ you repeat for yourself, and settle to get comfortable, push your hair out of your face.

At first, positioning yourself is a little difficult because you have to bend forward from your own seated position to reach his crotch, but you end up figuring it out without having to put strain on your foot.

Little by little, you guide in Baekhyun’s tip.

It immediately begins to waver and bend inside your mouth. Meanwhile, judging by the little nestling and a soft tug at the back of your head, Baekhyun has used the hair tie to pull your hair into a ponytail.

While you had immediately laid the tie aside after he returned from the bathroom and forgot about what it was supposed to do out of nervousness, he kept an eye on it.

Baekhyun is that motherfucker, you say to yourself. Let’s do this.

Given that the keyword seemed to be consistency, you remind yourself to keep going stably, keeping your lips loose around him. As if you were eating an ice cube, you avoid using your teeth like hell. You must look ridiculous opening up this wide.

„Don’t worry about scraping me once or twice, the silicone is sturdy,“ Baekhyun says, letting his right hand glide under your jaw. „Prop your chin on my palm. I show you how wide you have to open to make it comfortable.“

Whatever sturdiness there is supposed to be, all you feel is the slightly velvety surface of his cock’s underside lathering against your tongue. You would have thought it takes some lube to make it glide, but it’s not as painfully dry as you thought. Neutral it does taste, but it’s not a desert dry material.

With Baekhyun’s hand under your jaw, you get a better sense of opening up soon. He’s really touching you very gently.

„You feel how it re-forms itself, right. Is it okay like this?

„N—hm.“

„Keep sliding it in for just a little more. You’re doing great.“

Doing so is really surprisingly easy. Where you thought his dick would bump against, there’s basically nothing happening at all.

„Excuse me when I say that. You have a perfectly shaped mouth cave,“ Baekhyun smiles. „But I already know from kissing you.“

What must have sounded like the creepiest compliment in any other situation actually makes you hum and smile a little. You begin to understand just how seriously he seeks to map out your body. Nobody has ever truly bothered to do that.

In the meantime, you notice your nose approaching a dead stop at his loins and your lower lip pressing against what must be the most supple balls of all time. You’re sure that he didn’t make those shrink.

„They’re as big as they were before,“ Baekhyun confirms, vigilant eye he is. „The rest is already close to fully imprinted by now. I just need you to move your head back and forth a little. That helps me gauge how you angle it and what your lips tend to do. Add a bit of variation if you want.“

Doing just that proves to be more fun than you thought. You bop your head a little slower, a little faster. Shallow, then all the way to have your forehead meet his abdomen. It really is… easy?

His size has decreased significantly. You didn’t gag at all so far. Baekhyun doesn’t feel as if he’s just stuck there and ramming in. That you’ve already taken his entire length in so early makes you feel really accomplished, too.

While you move your head, you can feel his dick change a little on your tongue. You even let it slide in sidewards to poke into your cheek, then pull out to kiss the tip of his dick, making Baekhyun smile even more brightly.

„I see you’re good at this. And I really love your lips. They’re pretty.“

You inspect the very slicked up shaft before you with great interest. Without really going at it fully, you already really salivated a lot on it. But even more notable is the unusual shape it’s changed into. It’s assumed a downward curve and has dents where your tongue and teeth were located a second ago. The tip is also much more streamlined. It could probably reach down your throat a little more without having you coughing all over the place.

„The imprint is done, right? That looks really impressive.“

„As good as finished. I save that in my memory data. It can reform at any time you wish it to.“

So that’s part of kinetic learning, too, then — custom dick shapes.

„Mh, interesting. Thanks for doing this, Baek.“

You straighten from your former position and smile at him.

„I might use a similar shape if you ask me to do anal. Just slightly larger. I think I can fit into you very well overall.“

As if he couldn’t be any more adorable, he puts his thumb up with the most innocent face.

„Oh man. I’m so glad I got you, Baek.“

He’s very well read that your questionnaire had a clear preference when it comes to butt stuff.

„Thank you very much. If you want to do this often and get a little practice, I can even help you slide it down your esophagus a little more. I promise you won’t gag or get narrow.“

You don’t doubt it’s possible anymore. Who knows what other freaky templates he can bend into.

„This dick really is magic,“ you lick off some excess saliva from your lips.

„All it is is being designed so you can do whatever you want with it. Everything to your liking.“

You scratch your head.

„And I thought I’d get into trouble doing this.“

Lord knows every blowjob so far has landed you in making a scene or teary eyes. Especially if you tried to shove it down even if you couldn’t reach balls deep. Silly ambition again. And you thought you’d quit this all together.

„Just because you have a limit to depth,“ Baekhyun wipes a little thread of spit from your chin, „doesn’t mean you have to do away with your oral fixation. I really saw you having fun trying different techniques. And it looked like it was very pleasant stimulation for your tongue and saliva flow. If you want do this, you can always ask.“

You get a little flustered at him saying that. Not that he’s wrong. In any sense at all, actually.

„I think you’ll have to get ready to be in my throat a lot during the mornings. With my favorite cherry lube.“

Oh god. That is going to be… very slobbery and heated.

Nothing screams more ‚already am, come get your face fucked at 4:15AM I don’t care‘ than Baekhyun’s eyes right now.

„If you want something tasty before breakfast I’ll have no problems preparing that also.“

He does an invisible hat tip. So serving up fruit is not exclusive to the kitchen then. You find yourself getting euphoric.

„And… we will get to anal some time,“ you mumble under your breath. „Put some prep stuff on our online grocery list.“

„Yes, Ma’am. Just noted. I hope I can thrill you.“

As if you were getting into your car for the first time all over again, Baekhyun dons his best butler voice and you’re starting to fancy it.

„With that wonder boy you have in your pants, I’m thinking I met my match, you know.“

The type you wanna say I do to in a special ceremony separately.

„Precisely how it should be.“

„And, Baekhyun… With the special request idea. I don’t know how to say it. I want to extend this a little to oral as well. Maybe even today.“

„Will get back to it in about an hour.“

So he’s already calculated the route, then.

One hour sounds like a challenge to you, but at this point: You might as well trust what he’s got on his mind. He estimates you better than you do yourself anyway. You’re glad you didn’t move to penetration right away to begin with. Your pussy had enough time to calm down a bit. The swelling is still very much there, however. And your panties are nothing short of a mess. They’re basically sopping.

„As for going on now… I probably don’t have to tell you how wet I am,“ you take a deliberate look down your thighs.

„If you want to know my exact train of thought. I’ve already planned when I’ll wash your ruined underwear. 3:30PM.“

You have to giggle. The mere thought of that image. And he’s really taken over the household like a whirlwind.

It’s time you get to your part of the equation again. Mr. Kim’s imperative returns to you. Your turn to give Baekhyun some more input. With a dick like that, you can think of more instructions than you could list in one go. You build yourself up and place your hand just where you cupped his chin during your kiss on the fair.

„Then I plan you take them off — at now PM.“

You can almost hear a series of programmes running behind Baekhyun’s flickering eyes. Who knows what he is analyzing in his head again. Eventually, he flashes his cute little smile again and ushers you.

„Here?“ He questioningly points back to the center of the sofa where you started out, and you lie down right there.

Funny how much you sidetracked and moved around in the meantime.

Not thinking about transitioning into another position has made it much more effortless and nowhere near as awkward as you thought it would be.

And in hindsight, you were easily swayed into an unexpected intermezzo. Guess you love sucking his dick already. Which is just how Baekhyun offered it to you. All yours. Big and fat and bendy and perfect, morphing itself in whatever makes you hot. You want to shout it from the rooftops, right at all the Mister Lees of the world.

But upon second thought? Better not tell especially your nosy friends from work how hooked you are before they ask for more details.

Hwasa means well, but she would end up telling your damn boss by accident or something. Or Taemin, he would gossip about it on his twitter without name-dropping you, but everybody would know regardless. Meanwhile, Xiumin would make a vlog about „How To Perfectly Clean Your Flat“ and mention it in passing. Chen’s wife would watch it and tell Chen and Kai. Kai would absolutely tell Hyuna and Lisa. And Hyuna would absolutely tell Lay, and Lay would tell Kai, and by that time, the president would probably know.

Treasuring this all for yourself seems like the better thing to do. You want to protect Baekhyun even if he’s the last person on the block who probably needs it. Maybe it’s also a sense of protecting yourself. Maybe some of your friends wouldn’t be averse to getting a leisure bot themselves, but the rest of them still prized even their toxic partners as better than someone like Baekhyun, even if his kind had been part of the society for long enough.

You take note of making impromptu experiments like that for the future regardless.

By now, Baekhyun undresses you fully. Steady hands, steady eyes. Giving your legs a lusciously slow caress that gives you goosebumps. Pulling down your panties with a lot of deliberation, and giving you a good view of his cock. It’s shaping itself back and grows a little again, adding in girth and becoming less streamlined. It curves upward now, revealing a very plump and tight set of balls underneath. You’ve briefly felt them, but didn’t have the chance for a closer look. Now that you think about it, they’re even bigger than before. How it happened, you don’t know.

They seem to be pulsing and turning something white and silver metallic on the inside now. Making them appear… even larger. Two generous scoops of light pink seaside parlor ice cream. Discernable as a pair, but still perfectly one like a pillow. Not sagging very far down even if they seem to move around quite easily. They can probably slap and cushion against your clit if you go for doggy style with decent speed. The noises would be so nasty, you’d have to record it. You curse your foot for not permitting that anytime soon.

So— that thought will leave you high and dry for some time, then.

Makes that damn Achilles’ Heel getting his ever-loving shit together an even sweeter feat to look forward to, actually. So Baekhyun can really drive it home. You get kind of heated at that image in your mind. He is great at giving it to you from behind, you just know it. Now, everything he does well. But this one in particular. You get all sweaty with that idea again.

Baekhyun is still all the way preoccupied with pulling your panties past the knees, upbeat and kind in his expression. And calm, endlessly calm. Every movement, it’s all in perfect ease. You look like a jittery mess compared to him on your back right now.

„Shit, man,“ you bite down your lips after a desperate sigh. This couldn’t be any more tantalizing.

Chapter 8: The Bigger Picture

„Should I stop?“ his hands linger at your ankles, panties almost stripped off your legs. You can already feel the relief of not drowning in yourself anymore.

„No, I,“ you shift around on your back. How the hell do you explain this. „I wish I could stay calm like that, I’m not gonna lie to you. Sorry if I’m one of those bot envy people.“

No use in beating around the bush. He’d read it out of you anyways.

„And I wish I could shake as beautifully as you, you see.“

A comforting eye smile rises underneath his bangs. It gets a hold on you in a way that’s inexplicable.

Don’t you remember him with the cotton candy taste, you think. If anything, the envy is mutual. You’re pretty slow.

He’s trying his best to understand you.

You might want to start reciprocating that. Baekhyun can’t feel human happiness. But he can feel like he’s fulfilling his task. So help him with that, for God’s sake. Your part of the equation isn’t done after paying some money and taking him home or whatever. Being with a bot is more than that. He doesn’t have the needs of a human, but there are conditions that have to be met regardless.

„Point taken, Baekhyun.“

His cheesiness is cute. No use in not trying to tremble either, then. You can’t be him and he can’t be you. Might as well embrace yourself so he can work with it.

Baekhyun finishes the swipe of his movement and settles more closely, sitting on his heels just as before. You’re starting to think that it’s his signature posture.

„And I don’t mind if you envy me,“ he says, offering his hands for you to hold.

„You don’t?“

„There’s cold envy and there’s warm envy. It’s all about how much you like the person. You don’t hate me, right.“

„No, how would I? I really— like you.“

You close either hand around his.

„Then it’s warm envy,“ Baekhyun nods.

„I think… I understand.“

„And you need to know that I adore you also.“

A little squeeze of his hands accompanies his words. You’re caught off guard. All you can think of as a reply is a nod, unable to meet his eyes. You’re at a loss of words entirely. Here you go again.

Maybe the time has come that machines have a better grasp on emotions than humans. They have to teach it back to them.

You try to hide your embarrassment by a little stutter, but he’s already lowering his head down to you, again facing you close by. Close enough for you to see the light golden fuzz of his skin that actually almost seems silver under the artificial lighting of the room.

„So if you want me to do anything for you. Just do the same thing as before. You’ve done it well.“

„I don’t think so,“ you chew at your bottom lip, very well convinced that all you did was being a mess. Baekhyun must be seriously frustrated with this amount of all-too-human chaos.

„There are clients that take at least four to five trials to instruct their leisure models properly. You’ve already managed at first try, you see.“

Your jaw legitimately drops. Probably even lower than when you saw Baekhyun step out of the capsule.

„Five attempts?“

„Some send their bots back because they can’t get themselves to do it at all,“ he affirms. „But either way, those are likely the clients who’d rather apply to purchase automatic models in the first place.“

Automatic models.

You remember. Now you count one and one together — Mr. Kim talked about these bots. You never even realized. The ones seemingly everybody was ordering which drove the whole faculty staff into an endless scientific boredom.  

„Most client requests we get want some kind of he-man. They only spend twenty minutes customizing their bot on the website, if not less. Our engineers rarely get to equip a bot with so much pizzazz.“

In fact, these are the bots of a cheaper price range that run on the exact same automatism over and over for the lack of not having any other programming or sentience.

You don’t have to look no further than imagining that they work like a generic sex toy. They’re just in humanoid shape. A fruit plate for breakfast they can’t serve. They don’t have any interest in cotton candy either. The client can only switch them on for intercourse and enjoy maybe two or three default positions at best before their bot goes back to sleep again. They don’t talk freely, they don’t think, they don’t ask questions. They do their job, but they’re not…

Boyfriends.

You suddenly don’t regret spending forever at the PC to fill in forms and paying a lot more money to the faculty anymore.

„What? That’s insane. I never knew.“

How lucky you are to have Baekhyun is an overwhelming thought. If you’re entirely honest with yourself— it even gives you something that feels like butterflies. It’s strange.

„We non-automatic models can only do what we’re supposed to when we get asked.“

„Yeah.“

„Even most things a client requested in the past can’t be done again without a second permission. You have to instruct us in every new situation.“

„Yes, Mr. Kim really emphasized that.“

You feel better knowing that you have read between the lines correctly. Mr. Kim said a lot of things that sounded very complex and removed from daily life, but he managed to convey the most important thing about Baekhyun.

„I have always heard from Mr. Park that many female clients who give their bot back aren’t even the type of person who has troubles speaking their wishes. They don’t have any wishes at all. I think they’ve given up on themselves.“

He looks so downtrodden saying that. The image in your mind looks just as depressing. You want to curl yourself up.

„Wow. Wow, that… sounds scary.“

„Already by law, we can’t dictate them what we want as a replacement for their lacking preferences. Even if that is what they’re expecting. And then, they blame it on us if we stay passive during sex. It’s an unfair game.“

You can already picture how many cases like that must’ve happened.

Mr. Kim was absolutely right to let non-automatic bots decide over who they want to match with or not.

For way other reasons you had naïvely assumed. To be fair, you are still a beginner with this and AndroTech’s terms of service page was a jargon novel in font size 4, bearable as a skim at best.

„So it would even break the law,“ you find yourself even more startled. „To engage in acts that were not… requested on the spot?“

„Yes. But it’s not all clear-cut. Some bots are enabled and do try hard to read their client’s true wishes out of them, and they take the lead to get things started. Especially when a client is extremely nervous on the first day.“

„Oh…“

„You’ve seen me do it with you. How to touch you, whether I can drive and cook for you, how we relax before sleeping. You saw that I was forward with you to take the pressure off. I even picked you up without asking.“

„Yeah, I saw. I understand it now.“

Pretty much from the very first moment. Baekhyun probably knew you didn’t want to walk the corridors to the faculty exit the moment he looked at you. And he did take the lead, and asked about your every reaction hoping he anticipated exactly the right thing you didn’t dare voice.

„Which can be uncomfortable, but the client very clearly has something in mind and they end up saying it. But you can’t use coercion or skip that they say it.“

You give a small „M-hm“ in response and feel the guilt rush over your face.

„That shyness or shameful feeling at the start we can deal with. But in other cases, a person only wants the bot to tell them what to do. Which we’re not allowed to,“ Baekhyun’s voice shifts to a much graver tone. „We are the ones who adapt to the client. We don’t have a motivation to give orders, either.“

„Motivation?“

This keeps on getting more and more puzzling.

„If you can’t feel something, you can’t desire something. Take me— I don’t know what a sense of satisfaction is. And our base programming is to be of service. Even if we did something random that we saw fit just to give a command. It’d be illegal.“

At first, you wonder why the rule would not apply to the automatic he-man bots, but it was actually making sense. The client had decided on their limited programming. Switching them on was giving permission itself, and they could be turned off at any moment.

Meanwhile, a bot like Baekhyun had variation to his actions and was constantly running on AndroTech’s special power generator, lord knows what it did to run all day. Now, if any of his actions were against your will, or he did something without being asked: He would be taken away from you.

If he gave you a decisive order completely unprompted: His programming would be permanently deactivated almost on the spot, even. Bots trying to guess what their clients had on their mind were walking a tightrope.

„This is a much more serious thing than I thought.“

You puff out. Baekhyun gives a wholehearted nod.

„You can tell we have to be careful to find clients who know what they want.“

„I never thought of it that way. But yeah. I can see how the faculty gets into trouble otherwise.“

„Yes. It’s a huge problem.“

And you were as silly as assuming that bot abuse was the biggest issue in the industry. Turns out clients who want their leisure models to break the law are the real skeleton in the closet.

It’s starting to become a bigger picture to you. The repercussions are so much more expensive and damaging for the company image. A bot that an angry client kicked around was only a nuisance if repair was concerned. The whole thing was kind of bizarre.

„I’ll be very careful,“ you assure. „To fulfill my side of the contract.“

„Y/N. You are the last person who’d concern me. I have been sure from the start that you are the ideal person to be with. It’s why I agreed so fast to Mr. Kim’s question whether I want to match up or not. Most bots will ask Mr. Kim to postpone that question so they can gauge their client in a testing period.“

„They… do?“

„Yes.“

„But I already made a mistake,“ you say, remembering how you started out today. „I don’t think I’m ideal or something like that.“

Baekhyun’s following blink is more than knowing.

„That you question yourself tells me you’re a good client. Bad clients don’t self-reflect.“

Maybe you’ve done at least that right.

„I see?“

„You might become reserved or berate yourself sometimes. But that you wrote down 280 specifics for Mr. Kim tells me everything. Once the nervousness dissolves, you do the right thing already and I see your nature. You wish for a lot of things. That makes you ideal to me. I can take care of this one thing at a time.“

He plants a brief, but passionate kiss on the back of your left hand. The cheesy motherfucker got you again.

„Baekhyun, I…“

„That gives me a lot to work with. I hope you look forward to all this. We’ll spend many great nights.“

His charming little smile and dark eyes are as encouraging as ever. Thinking about the many options of 280 makes you giddy already.

„I do. And… I really want to see how the Special Request feels like.“

Your legs are like squirming jelly at this point. Very much unlike Baekhyun who’s stable and resting — in promise of great stamina.

„I’m ready if you are. I’m sorry if my talking delayed this. But I think some last few questions had to get out of the way. As for the request: There’s not much I need to prepare for it.“

Chapter 9: You Look Really Beautiful

„We’ll be starting with… you know. Lower medium size?“

You shift in the sheets, stuttering that out like a pre-schooler, but who the hell cares at this point. It’s not like you didn’t invent all of this.

„All as you want it,“ says Baekhyun with just the right touch of yielding in his tone. How he makes this sound so impeccably polite is a mystery.

„This is really easy to insert,“ he continues, giving a light caress against your cheek. You don’t miss just how much it is meant to be an encouraging touch. Your face feels tingly.

„Okay, let’s give it a shot, then.“

While Baekhyun reshapes the plates, you recline with your knees pulled toward your torso, making sure to place your wonky foot in an unobtrusive way. So far, it’s only complained while you were climbing around trying to find a position to suck Baekhyun off. Sweet baby Jesus. If your heel would ruin your first time, you’d curse your clumsiness forever and sign up at AndroTech to get your legs android-ized if that were even possible.

You’d probably make a good cyborg now that you think about it. With your new steel-inforced feet and knee caps, you’d be one robot step closer to blowing and riding Baekhyun to infinity until his dick needs repair, which you… already plan to do anyways.

„Can you stimulate me like before, please. Just by using your cock now. I’m so horny for it.“

„Of course.“

Baekhyun glides the tip up and down your outer and inner labia alternatingly, then lets it rub all over your clit. Which happens so smoothly. You’re more than wet. He’s drenched you so hard.

Shit.

It doesn’t take many prods until your arousal returns at its fullest, and Baekhyun strikes a complimenting tone in the middle of letting the underside of his shaft tap against the swelling rose bud.

„Your pussy is really pretty. It’s like pink clouds to me.“

He makes a little innocent face. He’s too adorable. Still, you swallow. So it’s time to bring the funfair to this sofa, then, is it.

„I really— want you to stretch it nicely,“ you grab hold of his cock. „So that the filling can seep in really far. I want a lot of it. And after you filled me, you make me cum.“

„I will, Y/N. I prepared a lot for you,“ he nods. „And it’s enriched with pheromones.“

Pheromones.

So the faculty did find ways to flavor things. Realizing that, you already feel twice as horny as before.

„Shit, it’s gonna smell so good. Put it in, put it in… I want to know how it feels.“

You fumble with his tip at your entrance, and Baekhyun lifts his hips accordingly. It slides in for an inch, giving your entrance an idea of the diameter so far.

While you first squeezed his dick in your hand, the surface felt very matte. Now, with Baekhyun carefully securing his cock between the soft embrace of your lips, it makes for a great sensation of grip and stretch paired with how wet you are. His medium girth is really not bad at all even if it’s downsized. In fact, it’s pushing at your entrance in the juiciest way. With no panties in between anymore. You realize that it’s really about to go down.

„Baekhyun, oh god. Oh god. It’s good. Put your hands around my waist.“

He swiftly does, no second wasted. His fingers, his palms, his wrists— are so soft. You notice that his right hand sits significantly lower than the left one, pretty much on the hip bone. You already want to ask him to move it upwards that you realize he’s seen the scar from your appendix surgery and avoided putting his hand on it.

„Do you want me to slide in more along the way?“

„Yes, more.“

You can tell that Baekhyun knows the exact angle to glide into you. With his hands suavely placed on you now, he adjusts your pelvis without needing leverage. The sheer given shape of his palms has your body melt into the right posture. Eventually, his cock tip makes its way down your walls, bulging them apart. Baekhyun’s length gliding into you has you feel the entirety of his shaft pushing in with a proper thickness. A perfect languid strain, making your pussy feel amazingly filled and bursting with veiny, girthy cock.

„Fuck. Please use your fingers, Baekhyun,“ you gasp out, feel your lungs contract. „And kiss me all over.“

He keeps on sliding in. Leaves little kisses on your nose and sweat-glazed collar bones, breasts, neck. His plush little lips make pecking noises that sound all the way dirtier when he turns them into desperate moans. Baekhyun sure knows how to push your buttons. You’re about to go nuts entirely.

One hand leaving your waist, he adds a consistent stroke at your clit until he surprises you with slowly hitting balls deep.

Already?

„I’m in. How does it feel?“

It really is good to insert.

The heat from your clit mixes with the satisfaction of Baekhyun now being fully curved inside you. He was so much easier to take than you were afraid of.

„It’s amazing to me.“

A squeeze from your muscles comfortably locks Baekhyun, who gently lowers his posture above you, in the spot. Just enough for you to let your fingertips ghost over the center of his abs. His body is so warm, almost heated.

Then, you reach for his face and kiss him deeply. His tongue immediately picks up your pacing, swirls around yours in an intricate dance. The passion overflows. You want so much more.

„Start thrusting. Stimulate me.“

Accompanied with a faster flick of his fingers on your clit, Baekhyun lets his cock pulse in and out of you without removing much of its length. The inward tug at your walls pushes your womb along with it. Baekhyun’s width is just right in spreading your pussy apart, and how he gets you off brings more slickness to each thrust. You feel yourself getting really swollen up and bubbling wet, even more than before.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

„Make it grow a little,“ you push the words past your tense jaw. „And then give me the first special request.“

Again, he doesn’t hesitate. The sudden growth spurt takes a bit off the speed out of Baekhyun’s plunge, but soon increases again. It’s because his cock has started to leak inside, pouring more and more lubrication around itself.

„Is that good?“

His thrusts make the velvety liquid surface at the base of his cock. Very slowly, but surely. He’s fucking it out of you so well. Almost instantly, the smell is intoxicating. A hefty concoction of vanilla, fruit, and something very sharp and musky layered over it. A very masculine and upbeat spice that is like an electric current. The liquid keeps oozing from your entrance with every thrust, bringing more of the scent to live.

„Fuck. Please more. That’s so good. Hold me when I buck up, Baekhyun!“

The special request is nothing but a liquid mechanism that lets Baekhyun pump you full of milky white pre-cum. Whenever you want, mid-fuck at full speed, or as a quick filling without much prep. With a big load or just a little portion as lube, anything goes. Baekhyun has to refill the material with special cartilages every now and then, but it’s compressed like the foam of a whipped cream bottle. Just a lot more fluid. And way, way too loaded with artificial pheromones for your brain to handle. Your pussy explodes with oozing pre-cum and the tension of pleasure alike. You really can’t handle it. Still dizzy from the kiss, your tongue is all loose and erratic anyway.

„Not, ah—! To ask for something I can’t handle for the twentieth time or something! Fucking shit!“

You take a deep breath. Even a fast look between your thighs has you clenching. Everything is so creamy. And sticky. And milky. All with his cock buried right in the soaking middle of it. Baekhyun really gave you a full-on A class preview for the special request.

„Ask away. Even if it’s unrealistic. I make things feasible. That’s my job if anything,“ he looks more friendly than ever at you. Mr. Kim couldn’t sport a smile any better. Jesus Christ, he’s patient with you.

„I think I got some greed but, uh.“

„No worries. I can work with that. Greedy girls are the best girls.“

„Can you just, cockwarm me and give me another load. With the— bigger… version. If that doesn’t get me to the ER. I just want to try it for a minute or two even if it’s too big. You probably know if I’m built to do that better than me though.“

By the knowing look he gives you, Baekhyun indeed does.

„That works, I already calculated that. You’re stretched enough. If we don’t do it for long and I’m not moving, you’ll just feel really stuffed and full.“

„Exactly what I’m wanting,“ you blurt, and your eyes grow all the more impatient.

„Okay. I’ll be holding your legs up a little more for that if it’s alright. Just keep your ankle very relaxed.“

„M-hm!“

By doing that, you realize he changes how you angle yourself at him. You mentally prepare yourself, and already feel him expand inside. That pushes even more of the scented fluid out of your pussy, spreading over his cock. The smell of vanilla and grapefruit, whatever it is, becomes even stronger. Everything pools and drips from his expanding shaft in sticky threads that you want all over you, and in his mouth, his face, everywhere. Your poor pussy is nothing but a lake at this point.

„I’m gonna burst with this inside of me.“

And he really is monstrously big in his full form.

„Almost there. Does it feel okay?“

It grows and grows. Becomes veinier and all slick, bathed in scent and your own pussy creaming it up.

„Shit… that thing is like a spear! Fuck! Keep it, keep it up—!“

He keeps on growing. The stretch of your walls is driving you wild. You can’t even put a proper grip on him with your muscles at this point. All there is — a bulging sensation of your pussy getting filled out all around. It does make you feel tensed up. Even if the surface of his cock feels only a bit elastic, the diameter is too wide at this point.

„It’s a bit uncomfortable if you focus too much there with your muscles,“ Baekhyun says. „Look at my hands.“

Baekhyun circles into your clit with his index. It mixes relief into the stretch. And more pulsing excitement. Just a light caress wouldn’t do it at this point. He knows he has to rub a little faster.

„You’re all… stuck there,“ is all you can moan. He’s grown sufficiently to let your sensitive entrance feel like it’s going to burn up in flames. In its normal state, there’s no way he would get past it in his large size. You don’t even know just how far up he is inside you. If he’d thrust now, your guts would be as ruined as your panties. The flaring sensation of him spreading all inside you is all that you can think of. You’re starting to think you must’ve developed a cock addiction because of those pheromones, the thought of him not being inside of you all day like this sounds terrible.

Now that he’s entirely erect and stiffened, you can tell his dick has exactly the inner metallic strength you thought it had. He’s pretty heavy inside you. You get a buzzing in your head and accidentally shift your hips a little. The feeling that follows makes you gasp.

„That, that’s hitting something. Oh my god. It’s pressing me. Oh my god. What is that, Baekhyun!“

„Your cervix.“

„That’s deep in. Holy shit.“

„It’s really big and puffy. My sensors are liking it.“

So that’s where he is, then. Buried right there. Hitting the spot.

“Hold it there, Baekhyun. It feels so unusual! Please press it a little more.“

Baekhyun shifts his hips himself, causing you to feel the same bump again. It makes your body jerk and takes you by surprise once more.

„I think it likes kissing my tip the way you do with your lips.“

Either you’re imagining things, or Baekhyun actually sounds a bit accomplished.

„What! Does it react?“

„It’s getting increased blood flow and expands around me. If you want, I can rest a little deeper with my tip at the hole in the middle.“

The idea is so filthy knowing he could shoot you up with more pre-cum any second. All of it would spritz deep inside of you, almost the deepest way possible. You picture Baekhyun mixing up a huge load for you, only to pump it all the way through his immense length.

„Please, please do that, please. Push against it.“

„I’ll have to be really careful.“

„Come on, Baekhyun,“ you firmly grip at his hips to pull them down. „Beat my pussy up. It’s deep enough. Give me the whole length.“

That this means going balls deep entirely is making your legs do funny things.

Baekhyun, squeezing in the last inch, finally makes you feel like he’s splitting you apart. From your legs up to your neck, you can feel the strain. Your pussy can barely take it. It doesn’t know whether to fall apart or to tense up. That Baekhyun’s cock tip ever so slowly pushes, then penetrates into your cervix and stays there, neither opening it fully nor just resting loosely against it, sends you all sorts of arousing signals.

„You’re stretching so well. See how amazing your labia look now.“

The sensation of Baekhyun has distracted you entirely from just about anything else. A quick glance tells you it does just look like that. Your muscles are too pushed apart to grasp his dick, but your pussy lips do that job for you. They’re finally getting their right stretch. Plush, and wet, and wide apart, they hug Baekhyun as if trying to pull him in. It’s as if they’re sucking and gargling his cock and spilling saliva everywhere. They’ve grown amazingly plump and red. Two cock-hungry, endlessly greedy girls just for Baekhyun.

„How do you feel? Describe it to me.“

„I’m feeling so, I can’t, fucking crazy! It’s prodding a spot that’s really far up. Oh God. It’s so big. You… fuck… oh— You—!“

„You can call me any dirty names you want,“ Baekhyun lowers his voice. It sounds so naughty and provoking when he does that. „You know that I’m down to be a huge whore.“

The plain sneering delight in his eyes is so intense that your pussy starts to pulsate. That lewd and yearning Baekhyun hiding underneath the cute smexy smile has ambushed you again.

„Give me that slutty look on your face and stroke my belly. Show it. Moan. If you wanna be a whore, do it properly.“

„It’s really bulging out here, Y/N…“

He whimpers, traces his palm across your abdomen, quick to find the spot. It does form a bit of a bump. Even from your position, it’s quite visible.

„Yeah… Look, you did this.“

„Your pussy is so perfect on the inside, too. Really pink and juicy.“

That his tip is currently making cockwarming love to your cervix you can very well feel. The two of them are already headed to be on a familiar basis with each other. You want Baekhyun to smash and jizz it every fucking night.

„If you have some more cum, now’s the moment, Baek. Pound it.“

„One second,“ he jerks at the base, briefly having his right hand leave your waist. You grip at the nape of his neck to pull his face down. You lock lips, and they are so mesmerizing while Baekhyun makes sure to find a nice angle.

With a loud moan into his mouth, you can feel him stuffing your pussy with a shot of rich fluid. The accompanying thrust is strong, steep, and throbbing. It makes you want to mount Baekhyun and fiercely bounce on his dick until cumming all over it, way until collapsing. His cock reaches far enough through the opening of your cervix to fill your womb with its creamy load. The liquid drips against the upper area until it spreads out and leaks down into your vagina. A lake of his semen now pools back and forth inside your spongy uterus, Baekhyun’s cock stirring it with its light pulses and movements. He’s not thrusting, but making sure to keep his dick swaying and prodding just enough to ease your tensions.

„Another load,“ you part from his lips, craving. „Really make it to the brim. Move it once. Push it in… So good, Baekhyun…“

„Okay,“ he hums, and kisses you again, this time making gentle contact with your lips. „I’ll make it really warm and thick.“

„God, yes…“

„Here, are you ready?“

„Fill me.“

Baekhyun’s fat cock delivers a juicy stab, fucking the meaty, veiny width under the tip right into your cervix. Hard and quick, making your toes shiver. The blow pounds and heavily stretches it apart under your deep guttural moans. He’s really deepening his cock almost to the max, and you can feel how stiff and girthy he’s made it become. 

The first pre-cum load allows for a perfect glide already. The plunge is so good. Your cervix now faithfully grips at his shaft, fully lubricated and anticipating, swelling up, greedily throbbing around him so fast. It pulls his cock in the way you want to deepthroat Baekhyun. You repeat and repeat his name.

Finally, a second spurt comes to seep right into you like a waterfall. Baekhyun floods your pussy entirely without holding back. A gushing injection of white streaks and pearls comes to permeate you so deliciously that your heart skips a beat. The spill is much less fluid this time, but runny just like freshly whipped coconut cream, fanning out into little melted clouds. He’s shot what you imagine as more than the amount of a small glass of water into you. You are creamed up to the last millimeter. If he was fertile, you’d be pregnant with a cute little Baek baby in two seconds, and give birth only three minutes later.

„I love it!“

Your pussy walls loosen around him. Even if it means saying goodbye to your filling, now you wanna see how his semen looks like.

„Rest your hand there while you’re pulling out,“ you guide your had toward your abdomen. „You’re gonna tell me the difference.“

With Baekhyun slowly drawing out his cock and letting the vacuum suck the fluid downward, you become giddy. Your cervix refuses to close and instead stays pulsing open, letting all that he filled you with drip out. It’s a pal size puddle. Baekhyun’s dick looks so gigantic and coated now that he pulled out. You can’t believe all of that was inside of you.

„I really hate to leave you feeling empty,“ he says, and massages your belly very attentively.

„I wish your cum could stay inside all day. It’s so warm. I really miss your cock, too. Shit, Baekhyun.“

After some waiting time, his last bits of semen makes its way down. Your pussy gapes enough to let it squeeze out. It’s so thick and white, completely opaque. How good it smells you only register when you’re already hanging at Baekhyun’s lips again. The scent drives you to kiss him again and again, having your hands all over his body, praising him with your moans. He yields into your wild hug and the making out continues until your creampie no longer flows out. Half of your pussy is full of sticky semen still, warming you from the inside. Between your heavy breaths, you realize that Baekhyun’s laser gaze on you have even more craving than before.

„And this is not even the main event,“ he rasps into your ear. „We’re still headed towards the most important thing.“

You shake. His dark eyes set on you like a panther’s. He’s readier than ever. This goddamn robot stamina. Now he wants to fuck you up entirely.

„Make me cum… really hard, Baekhyun.“

„I’ll have you moaning and arching. Tell me what to do.“

„Remember I talked about some Special Request mixed with oral?“

„Very clearly,“ he nods, helping you get up from your back. „I got you.“

„Leave it at big as it is now. Not the full growth but almost there. Really give me a lot of cum, okay. Empty yourself into my throat. You can also fuck my mouth but keep it shallow. You can hold my head later on.“

„All as you like. Here,“ Baekhyun helps you guide the shaft between your expectant lips.

You suck at the tip, but your mouth doesn’t get very far down. The difference to Baekhyun’s smaller, adapted version is extreme to see, to touch, and taste. While you gobble the far end, a generous spurt of cum shoots into your throat already. It pools on your tongue before you swallow three times.

It tastes mild and sweet.

Maybe you’ve been eating too much cotton candy as of recently, but it does bear some resemblance to it. You shake the girth from one side of your mouth to the other, signalling Baekhyun to fill you again. More cum begins to appear, then burst at the roof of your mouth, and you don’t manage to hold in all of it. Thank God the towel is thick enough.

All the jizz expands on your tongue and you swallow faster, with Baekhyun leaking more of his cock milk. You decide to have some fun thrusting your head forward and have the whole thing explode against his loins and your lower face. With Baekhyun’s dick plunging into you deeper, the remaining cum flows past your lips and lands between either of your legs on the towel.

No wonder his balls do their pulsating thing. He has to keep up mixing and pumping everything out. His cock is now so perfectly slippery that you can glide your tongue around it in fast circles. The faster you go, the more his foreskin retracts, revealing the beautiful sturdy glans that provides you with another milky shot against the back of your throat. The mixture is smooth, allowing for an easy big swallow. For some reason, it’s almost like almond milk conditioner diluted with a bit of water.

Baekhyun adding little thrusts to each leaking makes you moan like a pervert. You suck and lick up every incoming bit of fluid properly until gulping it down. At this point, your entire stomach is a sea of white cream. Your mouth feels like it’s drowning in baby lotion, but without the obnoxious taste. Even now, you’re still not tired of bopping your head and blowing bubbles with the amounts of his sperm that gather around the middle of his cock. The more you get into the rhythm of moving your head, the more heated and loud you get.

Puckering your lips adds the right pressure, and you keep your jaw as wide a Baekhyun showed you earlier. The slicking, slurping and glucking noise of the suction is music to your ears. Him spilling out more liquid helps you glaze his length with warm icing now, and your speed is surprisingly high in doing so. You end up sinking your fingertips into Baekhyun’s shapely ass cheeks and hold onto his body like that while blowing him. You feel they are toned and soft at the same time, even more heavenly when you use your entire palms to hold them.

„Great, you’re doing great,“ Baekhyun wipes off a blotch of cum from his belly and lathers his cock up with it, careful not to disturb your mouth at work. „Do whatever comes to your mind.“

As if that praise was not enough, another rewarding fountain fizzes into your mouth. The vacuum from your tight lips resounds almost like a kissing noise. With another moan upcoming, you blurt out the majority of Baekhyun’s load. This time, his legs are the victim of your slobber, getting their first contact with his cum in dripping white stripes. It looks so hot. Looking at his ruined thighs with your saliva and milk on them makes your pussy throb several times.

In the meantime, your lips are left perfectly coated and big, clinging to the veiny surface slightly below Baekhyun’s tip. Especially your lower lip has gotten much plumper and picks up every relief on his dick. You love the sound of him thrusting in his shaft that is met with a little lake of cum at the farther end of your tongue. The more elegantly he helps you plunge in the tip, the better it stirs the fluid and leaves a nice caress at the top of your mouth and the inner corners of your lips. The taste is breathtaking. After swallowing for the seventh time now, you pop his dick from your mouth and distribute the remaining cum on your cheeks and temples by sliding his length all over your skin.

„That feels so good,“ you pat his cock all over your cheekbones, your forehead and the bridge of your nose. You even glide the tip of his cock against your browbone, tracing its lining and have a few little droplets of Baekhyun’s delicious milk dance stuck in your lashes. The fluid leaves your face feel cooled and soft. The matte silicone surface of his length is perfect enough to slowly glide under the guidance of your hand, massaging your face gently and slick.

And then, you get an idea.

„Hold your cock up for me. Maybe make it curve up a little,“ you instruct, take a few breaths to cool down. When Baekhyun is ready, you slide your right hand between your legs and head your mouth for his balls at the same time.

They really are like scoops of ice cream. Enough milk has distributed over them to make your attention of kisses, licks, feathery light bites and sucking very easy. Everything glides, and you love how they vibrate ever so slightly.

„Tell me I will feel this against my clit as often as possible, Baekhyun.“

„Every day if you want. I can make them buzz a little more than that as well. That goes for my cock, too.“

„What— Really! Please do it! And please, more cum…“

And they do. It must be the weirdest thing your lips and the tip of your nose have felt, ever. A million dancing ants start their party on your skin. Alternating between left and right, you give your mouth a proper ice cream feeding. Baekhyun’s cock vibrates along and produces another waterfall of sperm.

While you let the buzzing ripen up your lips with even more swelling, drops upon drops of cum add from above where Baekhyun holds his cock in an almost vertical position. Since its curve bends toward his stomach, that’s where more of his cum lands. You love to observe the milk trickle over the little veins of his loins, his lightly toned abs, and the perfect V shape of his pelvis. With every drop, you rub your clit to new heights and feel it become spongy. You’re so sensitive and wet that it’s harder to get your finger to the right spot, so you end up using three fingers at once.

Baekhyun glazing himself with all that luscious cum makes you want to lick him up whole. On the other hand, his oozing cock spills so much fluid that you don’t want any of it go to waste.

With the flicks of your index finger speeding up between your legs, you ask Baekhyun to stuff and thrust his cock back onto your tongue and provide you with a final wave of cum for good. He dusts over your lashes to remove the spray they took before, then diligently brings his palms around the back of your head. Baekhyun is so utterly careful and sensual in his expression that you have to groan and feel your pussy twitch. His pretty fingers fit so perfectly around the area under your high ponytail. Having his wrists ghost over your temples makes you want to come on the spot. Now that your head is softly locked safe, Baekhyun asks if he can start, earning the most eager nod.

„I won’t make you gag, I promise,“ he gives his fingers a final arrangement, laying flat on your hair.

You feel like you’re about to implode and already drive your head forward. Aided by the slip of your mouth, he pulls you onto his cock, driving in a bit more length. About a third of his cock gets in, and you feel only a slight bit of tension. Your lips close around him, but remain flexible, still. Your hand between your legs rubs faster. And faster. Your clit is begging for a second rush. By the time, your jaw has become perfectly loose and receptive, ready to take a pounding. You moan in frustration from all the suspense, and finally he begins fucking his monster dick into your skull. 

The girth stretches your lips and leaves your mouth completely stunned. Baekhyun properly angles himself into your head and showers you with complimenting little wows, then continues the speed and screwing until half of his dick pumps into your mouth. It’s pushing in and stimulates your lips with every thrust. The buzz is amazing. 

Your throat is perfectly accepting of Baekhyun’s tip. The vibrating stimulation at your tonsils sends excitement through your entire body. His cock is amazingly big, hot, and jittery. When he drills it into you with a little ‚your mouth… so soft… like cotton candy…’ under his breath, you can’t take it anymore.

When your rubs escalate and your pussy begins to contract, he blows up your mouth with an avalanche of extra sticky and flavorful cream. Unlike when he was pumping out the cum against his belly, his cock now powerfully empties in one go and overwhelms your tongue with taste. 

The portion is so huge and almost foamy. Now you’re filled double. Your leaking pussy, stuffed with his bubbling semen, and your mouth, rich with the potent vanilla taste. Your clit thumps hard with a series of twitches, about ten, eleven, twelve times, with another strong rub from your middle finger pushing it over the edge.

The load of cum bursting into your mouth is so large that your cheeks slowly bulge out a bit. Baekhyun holds his cock in place to help you keep it centered. A look at his hands alone is enough to fasten your rubs and make you feel your climax peak. Your eyes get large from the extremity of pleasure surging from your clit, having your body rock, making you yelp out and spill Baekhyun’s semen back over the pulsing curve of his dick. It’s so messy, but you don’t care.

He takes the opportunity to thrust back into your mouth in sync with the twitches of your pussy, blasting your way too impatient esophagus with more sputtering threads of hot milk. Your clit throbs even harder when you hear the wet noises your throat makes. Every thrust has you blowing out cum with stifled, slobbery gargling. Baekhyun penetrates you so well and won’t waste a milliliter of cum. It’s so thick and so good, and distributes so nicely every time he fucks it into your throat a little further. The vibration of his cock makes your tongue so swollen against the underside of his shaft and even more sensitive to how his cum feels.

Liquid satin, gliding so well down into your stomach that you wish he could penetrate, too. You slurp and gobble the last shots of cum, and enjoy Baekhyun’s thrusts feeding you his fully sperm-decorated cock. With your saliva flowing into the mix, the load gets perfectly blended and has you produce the nastiest sounds around the meaty base of his dick. You want to lap it all up, slather it all over you, bathe in it. He drenches your mouth completely. You swallow and swallow until he knows you’re feeling full and stops the flow.

You still try to suck the leftover liquid out of him until only drops remain on your tongue. A final swallow, and you lock eyes with Baekhyun who’s gently smiling and cupping your head.

„B—woah,“ you gush out, slipping your lips off his dick. You look down on your body and Baekhyun’s, finding your skins coated all sticky as if a pot of joghurt spilled all over your chests and legs.

The special request indeed leaves nothing left to be desired.

„Really incredible,“ Baekhyun says.

„Warm…,“ you lick your lips, and shake, move your tongue about to loosen it up. „And so much— Fuck!“

„Not a drop left. I’ll probably need half an hour to gather an amount like that again.“

„I want this all the time. This, this is so much fun.“

„Yes. You were really enjoying yourself. You look really beautiful.“

Probably really messy and funny with your drying lips and tousled ponytail. You have to chuckle.

„Brace yourself, Baekhyun. I hope you have enough hair ties prepared.“

Oh, it’s gonna be a ride.

After you settle your breath, Baekhyun goes about cleaning your face and neck, and bits of your chest. He has to get a third towel from the bathroom to get the job done, including rubbing himself down. As ruined as he looks, AndroTech has to send him into the fucking robo deep cleaning room or something if you keep this up.

Eventually, Baekhyun helps you up the same way he put you down on the sheets two hours ago. You coo to him, and he carries you to the bedroom softly humming. You feel a strange serenity. Protection. Baekhyun looks so sweet and calm. A warm feeling spreads across your abdomen, and you listen to your blood rush in your ears. He really got you going,. He offers a glass of water that you accept and nip at while he sorts his and your clothes, dumping all the towels into the laundry basket and switching off the living room lights afterwards.

Alongside carrying a paddle hair brush, he returns with your favorite strawberry bubblegum chapstick. He must have picked it up next to the washing machine in the bathroom. You keep a little shell-shaped metal bowl next to the basin where all your cosmetics are scattered in. How he knows that it’s your go-to lip product will remain another mystery, although you are sure he has a page-long analysis on it. 

After asking for your permission, Baekhyun applies it for you and makes sure to kiss you not once, but twice. He loosens the tie out of your hair and goes about brushing it, smoothing it. Lying down in your bed for the afterglow with the fairy lights on gets even better when Baekhyun offers his chest to lean against for dozing off.

Chapter 10: Pulling Out The Carrots

You wake up to the smell of waffles and cocoa coming from the kitchen. You sit up in bed. Feeling more gloriously fucked out than fucked up, actually. The floor, even if it’s still the exact same as before, feels different when you set your either foot on the ground. It’s not only your heel feeling at least a little better. It’s also the fact that it’s the ground of an apartment with two people in it.

Bothering to put on socks, you find that your closet has a new stack of clothes where Baekhyun normally sorts in his white vest. So Mr. Kim sent a new batch of attire for him as promised in the email you received last night. Seven sets of midnight blue, carnelian, and more white cuts of similar fabrics and varying shapes. Your closet looks strangely complemented with his clothes in it. Not to mention much tidier since he folded each and every piece.

Before you waddle to the bathroom, you check your phone and see an avalanche of shy emojis from Hwasa in your notifications. You did manage to send a little comment on the sofa before you went to bed.

„Guess whose car is fixed,“ Baekhyun sets a plate on the table. The whole kitchen sizzles and looks as if a restaurant chef just let a huge cloud of steam loose from his souffle in the oven. There’s juice, there’s blueberries, there’s syrup on the table. His smile is even brighter than it was yesterday.

„You gem!“

Falling around his neck makes Baekhyun laugh. You cling in the hug and pepper his forehead with kisses until the waffle machine bleeps.

„Dig in, princess,“ he stacks up three waffles on the plate, golden brown and drizzled with syrup.

„Sit down with me when the last one is done,“ you fork the top waffle, separating it into five hearts each. Crispy outside, vanilla-colored and juicy on the inside. Back in the day when he was still active, Gordon Ramsey couldn’t have done it any better. Baekhyun nods, now busy with a large blue bowl. He’s kept his smile and hums a little. The kitchen radio is playing in the background.

„And something else,“ he swipes the wooden spoon through the bowl. You realize what’s inside. He steps toward the table to masterfully place a generous amount of whipped cream on your stack of waffles.

„What was it?“

„I talked to Mister Lee.“

„You what?!“

With a clattering noise, your fork drops right back onto the plate. If the sweet scent in the kitchen didn’t fully wake you, then this definitely did.

„I first checked the databank as I said,“ Baekhyun puts down the bowl on the table and takes a seat opposite to you. „There was no record of him interacting with androids anywhere. He didn’t own one, nor did anyone else in his social environment or the area around here. Except you of course.“

„A—alright, and?“

Judging by Baekhyun’s picture-perfect appearance that doesn’t seem to sport a single scratch, at least Mr. Lee didn’t get out his golfing equipment then.

„I went over and met him on the porch while he was having his coffee. I introduced myself and asked about his garden.“

„His garden?“

„Mister Lee has taken up quite a bit of work with his vegetables,“ Baekhyun pours some orange juice from a jug into the chunky little glass in front of your plate. „He was busy with carrots yesterday.“

„What— What does that have to do with…?“

„He was huffing out loud because he couldn’t pull out a particularly large one.“

„That’s what I heard when we arrived?“

„Precisely you did.“ As if your jaw couldn’t hang any lower, now you’re also flooded with embarrassment.

„He was squatting right behind the large bush that blocks the view,“ Baekhyun continues. He said he didn’t even hear us arrive because he had headphones on.“

„Jesus, really?“

„I was already wondering why I didn’t notice any danger when we arrived at the house. You only heard the noise and made a conclusion. But actually, Mister Lee was in his own world.“

„Oh…“

„I helped him plug out the remaining carrots just half an hour ago. It was really easy. He gave me a few potatoes from his garden, too. I’ll make you fries for lunch today.“

„You really hear what you want to hear,“ you say to yourself out loud and start chugging the orange juice. Maybe moving into the underground tunnel system you’re planning to build for yourself to disappear from the face of this earth is still a very good idea.

„And don’t worry. I didn’t tell Mister Lee about your reaction. He doesn’t know about the misunderstanding. I just said I heard him shout in his garden and he readily explained what he was working on.“

„That was very sensible, Baekhyun. So I was accusing him for nothing, then.“

You bury your face in your palms. Goddammit.

„Mister Lee is as harmless and unbiased against bots as this waffle,“ Baekhyun points squarely at your plate.

„And I thought this would end up in a fistfight.“

„The funny thing is. Mister Lee said he used to be a boxer back in the 1980s and had muscles like I do. He was really amused how fast I was pulling out the carrots.“

„B-Boxer? Was he trying to intimidate you?“

Maybe you need to muster your rusty karate skills again. Who knows what Mister Lee was really up to. You didn’t know much about his family, but you’re sure a more detailed Internet search would reveal that his grandfather was indeed called Bruce.

„No worries,“ Baekhyun picks up the jar again, re-filling your juice. „He called me a dapper young gentleman and offered we could come over to have carrot cake at 4 PM. He says the house is a little empty since his grandkids moved to San Francisco. Mrs Lee is also looking forward to congratulate us. If you’re free after work?“

„They… invited us?!“

„In the most friendly way possible. And their potatoes are really huge. That’s going to be a lot of fries.“

Looks like Baekhyun has found your neighbors to be much more trustable than your paranoid robot gf brain. Before you can really deliberate whether to say yes or no, your intuition does the work for you and makes your strained jaw blab the words.

„I’m free, sure I—“

The doorbell rings twice, ripping you right out of your thought flow.

Baekhyun swiftly gets up. You already expect Hyuna or Chen with the latest gossip in town about your universally heard late-night moaning noises.

Setting up what feels like another Guinness world record, you stress-eat two waffles at once before readying yourself to get up, too. Another loss of face right around the corner but at least you have something in your stomach and Baekhyun’s beautifully cooked meal isn’t getting cold which would be the ultimate heresy.

To your relief, however, Baekhyun returns with—

A post box.

„Delivery for my princess,“ he chirps from the kitchen entrance. „Wow, it’s really heavy, too!“

„God, I’m a mess,“ you shake your head at yourself.

„Pardon?“

„Nothing, I just said it’s actually for the prince, you know.“

Your castle might be an outdated yellow house, but it has a creaking palace door and splendid clothing parlor. And pancakes for dinner. And the prince has a really big dick, so.

„For— me?“

„Yes, yes. If Mr. Kim can send you something nice, I can do that, too.“

There goes another portion of your salary but fuck it. You act as if you were puffing yourself up a little, with flared nostrils and a dandy eyebrow wiggle. A laughing Baekhyun uses his mere nails to loosen the tape from the packaging in one smooth go, and also doesn’t seem to extend any efforts prying it open. You’ve never seen anyone open a box this elegantly.

„That’s the kind of rivalry between creators I didn’t expect,“ he says. „I hope you’ll like the new clothes, by the way.“

You’re starting to get the hang of this whole bots-and-boredom thing. Keeping Baekhyun on his toes is paradoxically both less and more of a big deal than you thought but you’re working it out.

A note of calling your declared friendly rival Mr. Kim to ask him for a few more pointers is what you decidedly jot down on your own mental to-do list. He explicitly said that Baekhyun can very well explain himself, but getting some more insider knowledge to ambush Baekhyun with surprises doesn’t hurt. And whatever this kinetic learning thing is, you certainly need some more ideas from the source, too.

„You can model them after we return from eating cake.“

„Nothing I’ll love more,“ Baekhyun removes some of the crumpled up paper cushioning inside. Since the box is fairly big, it takes a bit until the content becomes apparent to him. Once he realizes what it is, Baekhyun’s eyes light up and he starts jumping up and down through the kitchen.

„It’s a pink clouds machine!“

boyfriend bot on ao3

NOTE: oof, that’s a big ole fic :D i hope you liked it. talk to me about baek 😭❤️ 

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2020. all rights reserved. reposts prohibited. portrayals are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

#baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun #exo smut #exo fanfic #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun au #boyfriend bot #exo sci fi au #exo au #future au

[moved-attre]

Here is my review of Cyberpunk 2077! It is a bullet point list of what I liked, and did not like about the game. I mean no offense in my writing, and am, of course, willing to be educated if I am wrong about anything! But please do not send me anonymous hate. I know many fans and haters of this game can be very, uh... So take it all with a grain of salt, and form your own opinions.

This is very long and likely boring so if you manage to make it to the end, I will be very impressed! Also, I may ramble or repeat myself, sorry. There’s more bad points than good, since the game is very glitchy and I couldn’t not mention the glitches I have experienced.

Obviously, this contains major spoilers! 👁👄👁

I’ll start off by saying, this is a game where you will likely not get what you expected. If you expected Cyberpunk 2077 to be a game filled with features that were never before seen, to revolutionise the gaming industry as we know it and become the most iconic video game ever made... You will not get that. If you expected it to be the worst, most irredeemable video game ever created that you’ll hate... You will not get that, either. If you expected a game that is a fairly standard RPG with some impressive graphics when played on a high spec PC, albeit with some bad glitches and a wonky story with lots of potential, then you’ve got it!

Pros:

The majority of the voice acting, such as in V, Johnny and Viktor, was very good and emotional. Viktor in particular made me tear up! And the way V manages to sound almost like Johnny with the subtle accent change was amazing!

The character’s such as Takemura, Jackie, the LIs, Johnny, Viktor, Misty (I could go on) and even many random NPCs were interesting! I wanted to know them and loved their relevant missions. The best ones were unromanceable, of course, but that’s what imagination is for.

THE ALDECALDOS! I love them! A found family, and I wish there was more to do with them other than Panam’s missions and a few side missions. I love found family, and I’m disappointed V couldn’t form their own, so I’ll take what I can get and love the Aldecaldos, even if V can’t join them until the very end. Panam had the best missions of all the LI’s, even if the last one felt very abrupt. (At least, on her friendship route.)

Night City felt alive. There was always plenty going on, it felt like a real city, and it could be beautiful.

Jackie and Corpo V’s friendship was lovely. I loved their “To this!” inside joke, and I loved how Jackie roasted V but would jump to their defence in a second. It didn’t feel forced at all.

There’s lots of environmental storytelling. The atmosphere of a city choking to death under it’s own pollution/corruption was very apparent in the areas not lived in by the rich. Lots of homeless characters, violence, drugs, absolute poverty, trash (The dump! I felt sick just looking at it, and I couldn’t even smell it! Poor V, though.) and general apathy from a lot of the residents really sold the concept.

Johnny and V’s dynamic was the best part of the story! I hated him at first, but slowly came to enjoy his commentary and advice. His interactions with V were very funny at times, and thoughtful at other times. He was an interesting perspective for the player to consider, while still being an asshole you could dislike for much of the story. He has some really emotional scenes and I played a V that viewed him as a friend, so it was really nice hearing him call V the closest person he’d ever had. They became so devoted to each other! CDPR did good with this element, but I can’t help wishing for more. The dynamic had so much more to give, and a romance/happy ending could have worked.

And to add on, the mission where Johnny takes over V’s body to go on a bender was great! I loved all the moments to play as Johnny in V’s body. All the symbolism between them was so good. Every mission matters, and you can replay to look closer at details! He also comments on other side missions with no personal relevance to him, which was neat.

All the enemies had unique names. A minor detail, but it made me feel some guilt over killing them. 🤣 I think all character’s had unique names, which is such a nice detail.

The soundtrack was incredible, I loved every original piece and radio song. I have several saved on Spotify, which is big praise coming from me! I very rarely listen to video game soundtracks.

V can adopt a cat! 🐈‍⬛ It was adorable, and Johnny’s interaction with it made me tear up!

The size of the map was good, not too big or too small. I got about 100 hours of play in by exploring, which is pretty good to me! I got lost a few times, but always found something interesting to do in the meanwhile. I loved the Badlands especially. 

Some of the side missions, particularly the more mysterious ones involving investigating deaths and the cyberpsychos, were very enjoyable! I’m a big slut for mystery, and there were some interesting cases to figure out. I wish we could’ve done missions like that with River, though, especially once he becomes a PI.

I was complaining about the lack of aliens in CP2077, but I suppose we did get a couple space themed missions which was pretty fun. I still want to go experience going into orbit, though. 👽 Or the moon!

Separating voice and body in the CC was a good idea, even if it was handled a little strangely. I’ll talk about this more in the ‘Cons’ section below!

Act 2 was my favorite part of the game, but it blended weirdly with Act 3 and that put me off. I am nostalgic for Act 1, but not eager to replay it because it felt so slow... I’m not sure on this point! I liked Act 2 because the story picked up and I was excited for more, but the more I got wasn’t as I expected. So, yes, Act 2 was good.

The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes the outside lighting is absolutely perfect. The Arasaka parade mission was lovely to look at. I always stop the car and watch the sunrise/sunset, and I like going out to the Badlands to look at the stars!

An addition to that, is the lighting in some main quest missions. Very noir! It made for some beautiful screenshots. (Of which I sadly can’t share because my game doesn’t record well on medium settings. 😳)

The motorcycles are fun to drive! Mainly because I can zoom in between cars and Jackie’s motorcycle has a lot of sentimental value, as well as other vehicles like Johnny’s Porsche and Jake’s car. You can open the trunk to dump bodies in, which was a cool detail., and each one drives differently!

There could be amazing attention to detail, such as making Jackie look like his mother. I expected his mother to be a randomly generated NPC, but she was completely unique. It’s the minor things like that which stood out to me the most.

The scanner was a fun tool and very useful! I liked being able to find alternative ways to do a mission, it felt more realistic than the standard “massacre everybody, pick up an item and get out” fetch quests normally seen in RPGs. I could sneak in a tunnel or a side door! Perhaps irritating and unnecessary to some, but I liked it. I love utilising every possible option.

The interface color changes if you have Johnny controlling V’s body. Another small but good detail! The game is good with the minor details.

The sex scenes were not... awful. I expected much, much worse! I expected fully animated first person porn. Instead, I thought they were fairly realistic and intended to be romantic. Still very awkward, though, and unnecessary.

When they didn’t glitch, the animations were very good. Not as impressive as I hoped, probably because of glitches, but in line with other AAA games like Horizon Zero Dawn, I suppose? I noticed Judy’s animations in particular as being good, and Johnny had lots of unique ones too!

The clothing options are very fun, I like the holographic items and “Bitch” clothes, hehe. Also including Hijabs! 🧕 Great idea, and more games should do that.

The diversity of the NPCs was welcome. I enjoyed seeing Native American, Asian, Black and Latinx NPCs who weren’t there just to suffer! They would occupy important roles in the story, such as Fixers or friends/romance options for V, so they were pretty much unavoidable! It felt very natural, and they helped Night City feel more realistic.

Adding to that, the different cultures included were interesting too! I liked the Haitian characters in Pacifica.

The photo mode is pretty good. Not as good as I expected, the camera angle presets were useful but the filters weren’t very good. I liked that the photo mode could be used in cutscenes, though! It was standard, and I hope more bits will be added in for it.

A lot of the glitches are hilarious, but I recognise not all will share that opinion so I’m just adding this down here. The T-Posing NPCs are a highlight for me. Call that the Skyrim effect.

Cons:

No NB gender options/No pronoun options. Would they/them have been so difficult to implement?

No body or height sliders. There’s so many fat character’s in the game! Why can I not make my V fat? Or muscular?

Gender restrictive hairstyles and clothes. Come on, guys, it’s 2020/2077! Aren’t we beyond gender restrictive appearance options?

No tattoo parlours, no plastic surgeons and no hairstylists for V to change their appearance. I don’t understand why a CC was included at all, since we spent the majority of the game in first person. It reminded me of Far Cry.

The main story started off strong, albeit slow, picked up in Act 2, then felt very rushed in Act 3. The point of no return was very abrupt! 

The celebrity cameos felt very gimmicky. The one exception to this is Keanu Reeves, who did a very good job as Johnny. Genuinely brought tears to my eyes at times... but Grimes was just embarrassing! Why was she there! A talented VA could have done Lizzy Wizzy much better, giving her actual emotions instead of just monotone “boredom”.

I don’t know what the point of owning apartments is. You can only sleep in V’s bed, what is the point of looking in the mirror? V has no use for their terminal in their apartment, they never get any messages after the first time they meet Johnny. It was so unnecessary, especially when there’s several across the map. I can access the stash of weapons and clothes from my car! Why would I ever need to go home? Judy gives me her apartment and I’m like, girl, I’m never visiting unless you have a mission to give me.

Also, there are no penalties for not showering or sleeping. I wanted character’s to comment on that! Call me stinky or tell me I look exhausted!

V doing side missions makes no sense, and no explanation is given for why we can do them. Why would V, who is dying and has precious few days left to live, be driving for hours on end to deliver packages and shoot random criminals? When they could be figuring out how to survive the biochip! Who the hell would care about a some extra money or buying every available car for sale, when they’re dying of something that could be preventable?

Some side missions were either very poorly done or obviously majorly glitched, since it felt like they skipped important parts and I was often very confused at the end of them! For example, the Corpo V side mission was so short! I expected to be able to hunt down Abernathy and get revenge for V and Jenkins, but instead, I shoot some random assistant I don’t even remember? And that’s it? Done in 2 minutes! If that! What is the point of that? I didn’t even have fun! Also, what happened to Garry? I wanted to save him but V just never follows up on it.

And, I wish we got closure with T-Bug. The fact that V never bothers to find her body and give her a proper burial was just poor form. 

The endings were not... good. There are technically 6 different endings, all wrapped up into 3 parts. In my opinion, the best ending is the one where V kills themselves and has a very “Arthur Morgan watching his last sunset” vibe. It made me cry. Another good ending is having Johnny take over V’s body forever, as you can really see how much Johnny has changed as a person thanks to V’s influence. But they still felt very... eh and the story just never got that boost it needed, ending before it could take off. In the “best” ending, the Nomand ending with Panam, V ”survives” but has only another few months to live. So they die off screen. Satisfying? Uh, no. Not at all. There’s no possible ending where V has any hope of survival, but I much preferred being there with V until the very end. I disagree with the people calling Johnny’s ending the “bad” ending, because it really isn’t! I ignore all of this of course, and my V is living happily ever after.

I kind of hate that CP2077 has this illusion of options when some are clearly intended to be chosen more than others. Judy and Panam have the best endings in term of romance. Why bother with River and Kerry? Kerry is more of a fling than an actual romance, and is met very late in the game at a point where you can ignore him completely and just end the game, and River’s romance is so glitched that many people can’t even do it fully, and in every ending he dumps you, so it feels like none of it mattered to him despite him being the most “domestic” of the possible LI’s...

Takemura’s ending! He died in my playthrough, because the game didn’t tell me I could save him. That really annoyed me. Also, I recognise that V is in no place to lecture him, and there is some wisdom to his quote: “You speak against corporations yet offer no valid alternative.” But, Goro, bro... anything is better than fascist mega corporations keeping most of the city in absolute poverty, while waging devastating wars against other mega corporations? I wish we could have opened his eyes a little. There’s a good, even ground between Takemura believing Corps to be doing the best for humanity and Johnny being willing to kill 12k people for a revolution. This game went a little “capitalism is bad, but the alternative is worse!” at times, in my opinion. I wish more could have been done against the corporations, instead they just kind of... exist... in the background. And I know, “Realism! “ because we live with massive corporations like Amazon in our lives and can do fuck all about them but we’re not V. V is an absolute unit who survives death multiple times... I wish there had been two paths, like do Johnny’s path and work against the system or do Takemura’s path and work with the system? Sort of like The Witcher 2?

You know how in Saints Row, The Boss has homies they can call on for help? I wanted V to have homies to help them out in fights. It felt pointless building trust with the Fixers only to not have them help out at all with fights against the NCPD/Militech/Arasaka in their territories. 

The stealth mechanics are not good. They are funny! But not very good. Often, It’s better to just attack and save yourself the trouble of sneaking only to get caught by a guard who can see through the back of his head.

The fact that you cannot get arrested and have someone bust you out of jail. Maybe RDR2 set my expectations too high, but I thought this would have been included.

I’ve read about the cut content, and I’m really disappointed they weren’t included in the game. Wall running would have been amazing! And the police hiring mercs to hunt V down? I would have loved to see it! 😔

Driving cars is terrible. Just awful. Sometimes, you crash. Other times you’re flung up into the air and break through the sky into the void, spinning for all eternity.

River’s glitched romance deserves a special mention. The relationship just drops off suddenly and you cannot interact with him properly again. It does not affect the main story at all, so you wonder, what was the point? The text messages also glitch and V will sent messages that you can’t control, leading to disappointing dialogue, like with Joss.

The romances in general were just not all that impressive. I was expecting something great, considering there was only 4 and thought they’d really affect the main story, but I’d only recommend Panam and Judy. I would have played the game just as well without romances, and they felt very unnecessary but I wanted to do one to get the most possible story content. I think we should all leave romances in RPG’s as the exception, not the norm. Some studio’s can do them well, other’s cannot. CDPR cannot, in my opinion...

Obviously the many glitches and bugs, several of which are game breaking. I usually have to reload a save at least once an hour, because an NPC won’t talk to me or I can’t move the mouse to select different dialogue options! Or my gun won’t equip, so I die.

The AI in general is very bad. Sometimes cars will stop in the middle of junctions for no reason, causing you to crash or mount the sidewalk to get past, meaning you’ll likely run someone down and get a police warrant. NPCs just walk from one end of the road and back again, over and over on a loop. It’s very creepy!

The lighting, mostly inside buildings. Everything is pitch black! Why does V not own a flashlight? The amount of enemies I’ve barrelled into and alerted because I couldn’t see is too much.

The lack of dialogue choice, it was less interactive than what I’d been told to expect. There was only two or three options, with one only ever rarely being unique to one of V’s three possible background choices and most will yield the same results with a few exceptions, like avoiding combat.

V’s personality is already decided by the game, and is not really customisable. Do not expect full control over your V’s personality, as they are very much a canon character and exist outside of your (limited) choices. I didn’t expect Baldur's Gate 3 levels of customisation, but I did expect something more like Dragon Age 2’s dialogue wheel? Nice, Sarcasm and Angry? You know?

Obviously, the seizure inducing scenes were very dangerous. I get a headache whenever I have to do a braindance, and I wish it was skippable!

Accessibility as a whole is very much an afterthought in this game, I think. The subtitles are in “speaking English”, so instead of: Hey, how are you? It’s: Heyyy, how’re ya? It is often difficult to understand, and sometimes I just couldn’t work out what was being said.

It’s nitpicky but I wanted to do a pacifist route and I realised you can’t, you need to kill certain character’s... 

The main “villains” such as Yorinobu and Adam Smasher were very forgettable, and V had no personal stake in taking them out. I honestly forgot all about them. Takemura was talking about revenge and I’m like, who? Who are you talking about? Why are we kidnapping Hanako Arasaka, again? Johnny, why would I bother killing Adam Smasher? If they’d personally murdered Jackie, then yeah, I’d understand! But all V needs is to remove the chip and I don’t know... I just didn’t feel anything.

So, to summarise: I think CDPR were out of their depth. The long, very long, troubled development process was an indication of this before the game was even released, and the story I’ve experienced in the game is proof enough. I don’t think they knew what they wanted from this game, and as a result, we have a game that is honestly very confusing and frustrating with a story that always got close to gripping, but never quite makes it. All in all, I found this game to be pretty average. When the bugs are ironed out, I will think better of it. But as it stands, if I had to score it, I would give it a 6.5/10 or maybe 7/10. Good concept, somewhat misguided execution. The best part of the game was the Johnny/V dynamic, but I wasn’t satisfied with how it ended. They needed more time together! Anyway, it will be interesting to see what happens next. 

#cp77 spoilers #cp77 critical #cyberpunk 2077 #I’ve already been vagued about a few times for my CP2077 opinions so I expect more to happen now I’m posting this hehe

[ohwereusingourmadeupnames]

Stuck With U

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M) Notes: This is fluffy goodness. Check out the song Stick With U while you ready this beauty. Warnings: mentions of quarantine, COV-19. Summary: 

Tony hears the voice of an intelligent stranger in his Philosophical Ethics class and is immediately hooked. When he sees the person attached to the voice, there's no turning back.

Or, the one where Tony meets Peter in a coffee shop and an epic love affair occurs. It's based loosely off of Stuck With U.

Read it on AO3 here

I'm not one to stick around One strike and you're out, baby Don't care if I sound crazy But you never let me down, no, no

Tony always figured his humanities credit would always come back to bite him in the ass. For most of his college career, he’d gotten away with sticking around the engineering building – being a genius in the high school setting made bringing college credit in with him a brilliant thing. Despite having the ability to stay stagnant in the part of campus Tony liked the most, he wasn’t going to get to graduate unless he took a humanities course. And since karma was the ultimate bitch, the only thing available during his final year at UT Austin was Philosophical Ethics. What the actual fuck was philosophical ethics? To top off the increasingly delicious shit sundae, the humanities building was all the way on the other side of campus – and the class was in the middle of the afternoon. The petty part of him wanted to just skip the damn class every week to make a point. Who he was making the point to, he didn’t really know – which is why he found himself trekking across campus in the late September heat every Monday and Wednesday.

The first couple weeks were dull, the mundaneness of going through the syllabus and getting introduced to the course always seemed like a waste of time. The first real lecture happened the third week on Wednesday. The concept of virtue ethics wasn’t too complicated – how to live life and find the balance between virtue and vice. Dr. Sadler turned out to be a pretty interesting conversationalist and kept the entire class engaged throughout his talk. Tony didn’t think he’d be so interested in what the man had to say, but at the end of class – his hand hurt from writing notes and his mind was running wild with all of the information bestowed upon them. Other than the long walk from the engineering lab, Tony wasn’t hating the class. In fact, there were a few other people in it that were just as engaged in the topics and asked questions, rose their hands to answer intelligently, and sometimes even beat Tony to the punch.

One such day, Tony spent an extra second looking at the passage about Socrates before thrusting his hand into the air. For such a cool guy, he prided himself on his intelligence. When a soft but sure voice a row in front of him spoke up before he did, Tony tilted his head and watch with wonder as the guy recited the exact thing that’d been passing across the front of his mind since the question was asked. The feeling of being miffed stuck around for a second, then a weird sort of warmth settled. He hated to admit that he recognized it as respect and pride. Whoever the heck that kid was, he had a good brain on his shoulders. Tony forced himself to think of anything but that for the rest of class – his attention easily placed back on the older man at the front of room. The professor was the most interesting one he’d ever had. If Santa Clause wore Pink Floyd suspenders and brown instead of red – he’d be Dr. Sadler. It was easy to watch him walk around the lecture hall and blather on.

The day before the first test of the semester, Tony found himself in the little coffee shop not far from the building he was slowly getting accustomed to. He spotted it heading to class the previous day and decided to check it out. With his backpack over his shoulder, he figured he could stick around and get some studying done, too. The line wasn’t very long, so he was standing in front of the register in no time. Looking up from his phone, Tony started to order, but stopped dead in his tracks. The human person in front of him was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. His hair was on the longer side, the ends curly. The barista’s eyes were big, brown, and bright – the irises of them like warm chocolate. The thing that distracted him the most, though – was his smile. It was soft, like a shared secret and after a second of staring too long – it looked a little uneasy.

Laughing to himself and shaking his head, Tony got himself together. “Can I get your biggest sized espresso, please?” Tony asked, his voice a little scratchy from the lack of talking all morning. The guy behind the counter nodded, his smile taking on the adorably shy quality from before. “Can I get you anything else?” he said, and Tony’s eyes immediately bulged. He recognized that voice – this was the kid who answered oh so eloquently a couple of classes before. “This is probably going to sound weird, but you don’t happen to take Philosophical Ethics with Sadler, do you? There was this guy the other week that said some great shit about Socrates and his take on virtues – you sound like him, but what the fuck do I know?” Tony got out in what seemed like one breath. He shot a sheepish smile in the other guys direction – his shoulders shrugging. “I do, actually. My friend Wanda and I call him Santa. This is our third semester taking one of his sections. I’m Peter,” the other man replied, his cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink.

“Santa. That’s funny. I thought that, too. The suspenders really drive it home,” he slipped his credit card across the counter as he spoke – his eyes following Peter’s fingers, their length stupidly distracting for some reason. “Peter – nice to know you. I’m Tony. And I have to say – I was pretty impressed,” Tony finally managed to get out – if he didn’t then, he probably never would. The pink on the other’s cheeks turned to red and he tucked his head. “That’s something coming from Tony Stark,” Peter’s eyes flashed with mischief when Tony looked at him suddenly. “Yeah, I know who you are. You TA’ed in the physics lab in front of me last semester – I heard you tear down a kid in the dullest of tones. Kind of badass, dude,” Peter finished, the man passing him his card and receipt. “Oh, well – I aim to please. Do you have a break coming up anytime soon? I was going to study for Sadler’s test tomorrow – I could use a brain like yours.” He blushed at the way the words sounded in the space between them – but felt a bit better when the guy was nodding at him, his smile the entire width of his face.

“I’ll be off in ten minutes, actually. If you camp out in the back of the store, you’ll get the best Wi-Fi. I’ll come find you.” Peter flashed him a smile and turned his attention to the person behind him. They were probably pissed; he’d been standing there stupidly for way too long. Running a hand through his hair, Tony leaned against the pick-up counter and waited for his coffee with a dazed look on his face. What were the chances that the brainy intellectual he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to pat on the back or slap upside the head – was so goddamn beautiful, too? It didn’t seem fair. Hearing his name called, Tony pushed himself out of his thought and grabbed the cup – the warmth of it immediately grounding him a little. He didn’t wait for any of the heat to seep out, his tongue very used to his dumb ass self sucking down coffee straight from the pot. The coffee was tasty, and the extra jolt of caffeine immediately made him feel a little more motivated.

By the time he’d gotten his books out on the table and his laptop open, Peter was heading towards him. The pile of books in his hand made him seem a little younger than he probably was – the long sleeves of his hoodie were covering his hands, adding to the adorableness factor Tony started tallying in his head. Peter sat down and spread himself out, their clutter on the table taking up the entire surface. Looking up from his screen, Tony found himself smiling – Peter’s eyes were so nice, and they were staring right back at him. He tucked his lower lip between his teeth and ducked out of the eye contact, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the pen he’d set on top of his notebook. “You said you’ve taken his courses before, right? How are his exams? I bet a guy like that doesn’t change ups his teaching style all that much,” Tony said, breaking the silence. Peter nodded, the gesture obviously one of his customary reactions. “The format changes every time. The way he asks his questions doesn’t. The review we went over yesterday did a pretty good job mapping out all the things to look at.”

The hour went fast after that. They spent the entire time laying out a study guide highlighting all the information they went over in the review session and the things they noted more than once throughout either set of notes. When the blaring alarm cut through the haze of their little bubble, Tony had to blink a few times to remember where he was exactly. Tilting his head, he watched Peter start to collect his things, a soft smile on the guy’s face. “Thanks for sharing your break with me. I don’t think we’ll have to do much studying after making this thing,” Tony remarked, his fingers pointing to the several page document they put together. He caught the light pink hue on Peter’s cheeks and felt himself fall just a little. He didn’t know where he was falling exactly – but this guy did something to him, something that made him feel a little itchy and a lot warm. Like maybe he had a Peter allergy, but the histamine response was so, so, so worth it. “I like the way your brain works, Tony. See you tomorrow,” Peter said, his books once again tucked into the swell of his arm. He walked backwards for a second, looking Tony over – then he turned and headed to the back.

Tony watched the door swing back and forth, a dopey grin on his face.

The test went unsurprisingly well – Tony didn’t have to spend much time at all thinking deeply about any of the questions. The study guide they put together prepared him more than adequately. When he walked out, he noticed Peter was also getting out of his seat – so he waited. Their eyes met when Peter turned his paper into Sadler and the guy broke into a smile as they walked out the door together. “You’re a much better study partner than Wanda. That was so easy,” Peter admitted, his hands knotted together in front of him. “I’ve never finished one of Sadler’s exam that quick.” Peter’s cheeks were ketchup red and getting cuter by the fucking second. “I’m happy to have been a big help, then. I like him. He’s one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met, and I feel like that’s something coming from me,” Tony snorted at the look on Peter’s face – the pureness of quirked eyebrows and a crinkled nose so terribly hard to resist.

“You’re kind of an ass, aren’t you, Tony Stark?” Peter asked, his nose still crinkled, lips pulled into a shit eating grin. “Yeah. I’m kind of an ass. If you let it, it’ll grow on you,” Tony reached out and lightly punched the other’s shoulder. “Do you have class, or can I show you what I’m working on for my honor’s thesis? You were outside my lab last semester, right? So that means you’ve at least taking thermodynamics – you’ll understand a good bit of it.” Tony stopped his rambling when he noticed the look on Peter’s face – he looked like a kid that just got invited to Wonka’s chocolate factory. After a little bit of discussion, the day before, Tony found out Peter was a couple credits shy of being a junior and was soaring through the biomedical engineering program – the same way Tony did his own. Despite the guy’s shy tendencies, Peter was very smart and very outspoken about it. He smiled over at the younger guy and pressed a hand to his shoulder again. “You in or not, Petey?” Tony prodded softly, his smile widening at the enthusiastic head nod. “I’m in, I’m in. I haven’t seen the honors’ labs, yet.”

It was a little silly, how easily things seemed to settle into place. Tony considered Peter one of his best friends almost instantly. When Tony sat down on Peter’s right the next class, Wanda and all of her scarlet haired glory didn’t utter a word. The three of them talked like they’d always been a trio both before and after class – Tony found out very quickly that Wanda was very strategic, he’d need to watch his ass around her. Tony also found himself heading to the coffee shop at the edge of campus every Tuesday at 2PM to spend Peter’s hour break with him. They usually looked over Ethics, the homework a lot easier now that he was talking to a human and not the stupid robot he’d built for a robotics competition his sophomore year. The more time they spent together, though – the less of it they spent talking about Ethics. Tony knew the testing ideology now, so he wasn’t all the worried, anyway. No, he appreciated when the topic would stray away from philosophy and tread into the more personal. Peter was a conundrum and kept getting more complicated week by week.

Tony didn’t really do the feelings thing. Throughout most of his time on his own, he kept to himself. It was easy to get lost in another person; he’d seen enough people do it. He could still remember pre-Bucky Steve – the man was the life of the party. Tony liked to be by himself, and yet – he slowly started to find himself looking forward to Tuesday afternoons and the hour and a couple extra minutes Peter spent sitting with him, pretending to study and talking about all of the things. The week Peter missed class Monday and then wasn’t at work Tuesday, Tony was a little worried. It’d been practically an entire semester now of meeting up and he wondered a couple things when he didn’t have a way to contact him – why the hell hadn’t they ever exchanged numbers, and why did it seem so monumental, Peter not being there? Curiously, Tony waited until Wanda wasn’t busy behind the counter and nodded at her – his empty cup in his hand. “Where’s Peter?” Tony tried to casually ask, his fingers pushing the cup towards her in aid of his effort. “His aunt passed away. He’s been putting together her funeral for this afternoon.”

Tony felt his stomach drop. Peter mentioned May practically every time they talked about life outside of academic pursuits. It seemed like she was the most important person to Peter and the fact that she was suddenly gone – Tony knew how much the man must be hurting. Thanking Wanda, Tony didn’t wait around for the refill of his cup, his fingers already typing furiously on the screen of his phone. Google immediately showed him the obituary and where the funeral service was being held – if he wore the blazer in his car and got there in the next twenty minutes, he could make the service. Determined, Tony stopped in the bathroom and splashed some water on his face before grabbing his things and heading out to his car. A quick stop at the florist by the church and Tony was dragging his ass to the back of a small chapel.

Despite the place being small, there were a lot of people stuffed into the pews. It was obvious by the way Peter talked about her; how much she was loved – the people in the room just proved that. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house (Tony included), the ceremony was really beautiful and Peter’s brief, but powerful eulogy tied the entire thing together. Tony didn’t know the woman, he felt a little out of his league being there, but it felt good to support another person. Their eyes locked for a brief minute during Peter’s kind words about his aunt and for a brief second – he didn’t look as sad, anymore. Tony’s wobbly smile must have been encouraging, because the last half of his words were spoken more confidently. At the end of the service, Tony waited in the back pew for the crowd to say their condolences to Peter – he didn’t want the man to see him crying, either. He got himself together in the meantime – his eyes a little itchy from the blazer he’d been rubbing them on.

When he approached Peter, Tony immediately noticed how distraught he looked. He couldn’t imagine what it was like lose someone so special. Tony’s parents passing was hard, but he took it in stride – they weren’t very close. Peter looked like he might keel over – so Tony pulled him close, his arms tight around the younger man’s waist. He felt hands fist into his jacket, Peter’s nose pressing into the front of his shirt. Tony held him a little closer, his arms tight around him until the shaking stopped. He didn’t know when his hand started to move ever so slightly up and down the small of Peter’s back – but the touch was there, and it didn’t seem like he was going to be pulling away from him anytime soon. Peter looked up at him after a while, his cheeks tear stained, and eyes rimmed in what looked like an uncomfortable red. Without thinking, Tony let a thumb brush away a stray tear. “Your words were beautiful,” Tony mumbled, the lily in his hand a little crumpled from the neglect of it during their embrace. Peter didn’t seem to mind the bent stem, the boy bringing the flower to his chest. “Thanks for coming, Tony.”

A little while later, Peter found him sitting out on churches steps, his blazer now over his knee, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up. He’d been watching all of the people try and get the last little bit of Peter’s attention before they headed off to do who knows what. Funerals were funny things – people flocked to them, like the thoughts of someone else dying but not them were enough to overcome the grief. He remembered his parents’ soiree – there were so many people he’d never seen before, it felt more like a banquet dinner than a human person’s funeral. He kept his head down and waited until it was just Peter and a small violet urn – the last little piece of a life the man would no longer live. Tired eyes looked at him and, in that moment, all Tony saw was gratitude. He didn’t rush to give him a hug, or say how sorry he was, Tony simply held a hand out and let Peter take it.

They spent the rest of the night eating May’s favorite Thai food, with Peter regaling him with all of the best May Parker stories. The health conscious, vegan diner waitress with the biggest heart and warmest hug. The silence they eventually fell into was nice and easy, a little bit of relief from all of the emotion they’d been wrapped up in since he saw Peter for the first time at the church. Tony didn’t know much about Pho – but could tell this stuff was the real deal. He liked learning new things – especially where Peter was concerned. A noodle hit him in the chin and the wet squish of it slapping his skin broke the silence between them. Tony watched Peter laugh for probably the first time in days and felt a little piece of him melt – just a little.

“Why’d you end up coming, anyway?” Peter asked out of the blue, his voice still heavy with sadness and unshed tears. His eyes were hopeful, though – watery doe eyes big and looking directly at him. “I don’t really know, to be honest. Wanda told me about May and it just seemed like the right thing to do. Tuesday’s don’t have to stop being our thing because something bad happened in your life. I guess – you’re kind of stuck with me.” Tony shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating – his honesty a little too much for him in the moment. He’d never spoken so bluntly to someone before – at least, not someone he was saying something nice to, someone he admittedly admired so very, very much. “Okay, that sounds good,” Peter replied simply after a while, his shoulder pressing into Tony’s chest when he leaned over to press soup warm lips to Tony’s cheek. He felt his cheeks heat up, the spot on his skin a little moist from Peter’s lips.

It was pretty easy to make more than Tuesday their thing after that.

----

So go ahead and drive me insane Baby, run your mouth I still wouldn't change being stuck with you Stuck with you, stuck with you

The transition to being a boyfriend was surprisingly easy for Tony. Peter was the one person that gave Tony motivation outside himself – the happiness he felt when Peter smiled at him or looked pleased with him was totally different, something he wanted to cling to for as long as possible. After finals, Tony brought Peter into his small two-bedroom apartment – the two of them spending the entirety of winter break together. A part of him wanted to ask Peter to stay when the spring semester started, but he eventually came to the conclusion that they weren’t quite there yet. It didn’t stop Peter from being over at his place all the time, though. He understood what it was like to hate a roommate – the whole reason he lived by himself in the first place came from dislike of having to be around other humans. So, he didn’t mind the fact that his boyfriend found his apartment to be more comfortable than a place shared with two other dudes – dudes that, if Peter was to be believed, were very disorderly and distracting.

It was stupidly nice to have Peter with him all the time; Tony wasn’t going to object to that. It was nice to come home to a table filled with engineering textbooks and a couple cups worth of old coffee. There was a certain feeling about walking in to see someone he cared for so diligently doing something – it felt like a punch to the gut more often times than not. Peter’s brain was one of the things Tony loved the most about him. Loved – funny, they hadn’t said that word, yet. Though, Tony thought about it constantly. Time went by with Peter in a way that made things seem effortless. The longer they were together, the more Tony felt himself wanting to soak up all the things that came with having Peter Parker in his life. There were so many things he wanted to do with Peter in his life and the fact that they hadn’t taken the final step was a little intimidating – the more Tony held off, the scarier it all got. The worst thing that could happen was losing Peter, it didn’t take him very long to realize that.

It seemed silly, then, when Tony started to be a bit more of an asshole. It wasn’t Peter specific – there were enough dirty looks sent his way from the general populace to know he was being a bit of a prick to everyone. He didn’t mean it, either – there was a part of him that kept using that as an excuse for his grumpiness. The deadline for his honors thesis was quickly approaching and Tony felt stupidly underprepared. There were a lot of variables that were out of his hands and the stress of not having complete control of the situation made everything seem a little more monumental than normal. And though it felt like the world was quickly starting to close in on him, Peter remained steadily beside him. It was easy to see how much Peter endured in his life – he easily let Tony’s shitty remarks and sarcastic quips fly off his back. Every time Tony was a shit, Peter shook his head and gave him space – and later when Tony came crawling back with stupid excuses and promises of many, many kisses, Peter welcomed him back with open arms.

The closer it got to the due date, the worst it got – even Tony could rationally perceive it. It wasn’t hard to see how much longer it took Peter to bounce back from the stupid arguments Tony started – sometimes on purpose, if he were being honest with himself. It wasn’t hard to notice how Peter spent a couple extra days away between his stays with Tony. The rational part of him understood that he wasn’t the only person on the planet that needed space – that he wasn’t being nice to the person he loved more than anything. He couldn’t find the words to make Peter understand the type of stress he felt, so he didn’t say any. There were so many things trying to crush him – it seemed easy to lean heavily and rely on the one thing that hadn’t demanded anything from him.

Of course – things can only take so much pressure on them before they snap. As an engineer, Tony knew that better than anyone else. The morning the dam broke, Tony pressed the home button of his phone, his eyes blinking from a surprisingly refreshing sleep. The night before was one of the best they had in the past few weeks – Tony finally felt a little better falling into a deep sleep with Peter in his arms. After the second press to the thing, he put the pieces together and realized he didn’t plug it in to catch any charge overnight. Turning over, he caught the time on the clock on what he considered Peter’s bedside table for a while and his eyes bulged. There was no way he’d make it to his advisor meeting on time. Despite consciously knowing that, Tony went into panic mode. He got up out of bed and started rushing around the room. In his haste, he almost missed the sleepy “Tony?” coming from the bed.

“Go back to sleep, Pete. I’m a goddamn mess and don’t have any of my shit together. You don’t need to see this shit fest,” Tony mumbled, his teeth clenched together in a desperate attempt to keep whatever was bubbling up under control. There was so much stress and of course he’d be late for the one thing he needed to go to – the news about whether he’d get the rest of his research data approved, the final pieces missing to the honors thesis that’d been haunting him for weeks now. For whatever reason, Peter’s softly spoken “Sorry, Tones,” made him snap – his frustration finally breaking the last remaining supports keeping everything together.

“What are you sorry for, Pete? I was so happy to have you in my arms last night that I forgot to plug in my phone. I let myself enjoy something for a second and now I’m late and not going to finish college. I’ve been working my ass off and I’m not going to finish. I’m not saying this is your fault – but fuck it all. This is the worst possible time to fall apart.” Tony kept talking as he swept around the room, Peter’s confused look only slowing him down for a second. On a normal morning, the sheet slipping down the other’s shoulder in the tantalizing way it was would’ve had him getting into bed and ignoring all of his so-called responsibilities. Oh, how Tony longed for those days. He could feel tears starting to prickle in his eyes – a combination of shame and frustration mixing together to make a hurricane of hard to handle emotions. Slipping into the first pair of shoes he saw, Tony grabbed his bag and fled the apartment – hot tears spilling down his face something he was glad Peter didn’t have to see.

The walk onto campus was brisk enough to keep everything at bay – he’d never be able to get onto campus as fast he did that day again. Getting there with a couple minutes to spare, Tony instantly felt like a jackass. Not just because he’d lost his cool, but because he might’ve insinuated that the one good thing in his life was causing a commotion – which he wasn’t. Not at all. In fact, the only thing causing a commotion was Tony himself. That much was apparent when Dr. Coulson presented him with a fully approved thesis – the latest pieces of data and all.

It felt good to finally be done with the damn thing. Better than good, actually. He felt a lot of the cobwebs from the past few weeks start to shake off and the haze clear a little bit. What he was faced with wasn’t much to celebrate – the confused look on Peter’s face still alive and present in the forefront of Tony’s mind. He wondered why Peter continued to stick around through Tony’s latest grump streak, why the man chose to stick around and be on the end of ill-timed uncertainty. For the first time, Tony understood how important it was that Peter did stick around.

Pulling his phone out, Tony started to formulate a plan – one that would say sorry and thank you all at once. With quick fingers, he sent Peter a quick text, the good news still fresh in his mind.

Tony Stark [11:12AM]: I made it on time. They accepted my thesis. I’m officially done. Tony Stark [11:13AM]: I’ve been an ass, and I’m sorry. Tony Stark [11:14AM]: I’m glad you’re still here.

He clicked the lock on the phone and tucked it into his bag. There were a few things he needed to get done before heading back to his apartment. Before his little tissy fit, they’d been planning to spend the weekend together. If luck was in his favor, Peter would still be there when he walked through the door later. Tony forced himself not to think about what would happen if the man wasn’t there, or if he stuck around just to confront him and then jet. There were so many things Tony wanted to say – so many emotions he wanted to share. He just needed the chance to get the stuff out in the open. It felt important to be able to open up to Peter like that – share his fears and vulnerabilities. Peter was the man Tony invited into his bed on a regular basis. For all intents and purposes, they were sharing everything – cooking utensils and bodily fluids alike. It would make sense that he’d be able to be a little looser with the restraint on his feelings with him, too.

The nicest part about being with Peter came from all the similarities they shared. He knew the perfect thing to bring back to the apartment as a white flag and could honestly say he was looking forward to giving it to Peter. It relieved a lot of stress – something that Tony obviously wasn’t the best at dealing with – feeling so confident in the reception of a gift. A quick perusal through Game Stop had him clutching a small black bag and feeling a whole lot better. It didn’t really matter, finding the right present. What mattered was the fact that Tony felt good and conscious enough of his behavior to want to make it right. Baby steps, and all that.

Walking into the apartment to see Peter’s black Chuck Taylor’s still piled messily against the wall by the front door was an instant relief. Tony felt his chest unclench a little bit. The steadily collecting pieces of Peter around the apartment were still there, too. The PS4 and its many cables were still sitting next to Tony’s X-Box – and the collection of Family Guy and American Dad DVDs were ensconced nicely with Tony’s Mad Max collector’s edition box set. Now that he wasn’t stuck in a rut of anxiety and stress, Tony could see just how much of Peter there was around the place. Not even noticing made the feeling of rightness sink in a little more – the simple fact that it was natural felt like a pretty big thing. Gripping the bag in his hand, Tony kicked off the Van’s he’d been wearing and walked further into the apartment.

He wasn’t expecting the coffee table in the middle of the living room to be decked out with sleek black table settings and a single rose in between them. Though the TV wasn’t on, Tony could hear the scratch of the record player across a vinyl – the noise immediately making him feel calm, like the soothing noise of rain on a rooftop. Peter walked casually out of the kitchen carrying out a big pot – Tony knowing right away that there was mac & cheese waiting for them under the top of said pot. The other’s eyes were soft when their gazes met, and Tony felt himself relax just a little bit more. He wasn’t really sure what was going on, but he didn’t mind the light smile on Peter’s lips or the delicious scent of melted cheese and butter. The one thing Tony felt certain about was the fact that he didn’t deserve the beautiful man setting the hot dish on the table – he didn’t deserve the sweetness that laid so inherently inside Peter Parker’s heart and soul.

“What is all this, Pete?” Tony asked, his hands still fiddling with the bag he’d been clutching onto. Peter shrugged and took a seat on the couch – his hand patting the cushion next to him. “It’s not anything, baby. You did good shit today. I thought maybe we could celebrate with the only dish I can cook and the rest of that red we didn’t finish the other night.” The words were so genuine and so easily delivered. Dropping his backpack, Tony didn’t hesitate to sit on the couch next to him, their thighs brushing with his movements. He set the Game Stop bag on Peter’s lap and used his now free hands to grab his cheeks lightly. “This world doesn’t deserve you, Peter Parker. Especially me,” Tony murmured. He closed the gap between them easily, their lips connecting in a way that spoke of both parties leaning forward to partake.

Pulling away, Tony let his thumb linger against Peter’s lips for a moment, his eyes greedily taking in the way the other was looking at him. It felt like a long time since he’d been able to see those eyes with so much clarity. He let that sink in, the idea that he spent any time at all not worshipping the brown orbs that looked at him with so much want and affection. “I don’t know why you’ve stayed around with all the bull shit I’ve been dumping on you, but I’m glad. I hope you know that – I’m so fucking happy that you’re here, Pete,” Tony couldn’t stop himself; the words were dripping from him like a leaky faucet – each droplet of truth a little bit bigger than the last.

Peter caught one of his hands and brought it up to his lips, Tony’s breath quickening slightly at the touch. Those chocolate brown eyes kept up their glance, Peter’s gaze smoky – a little hazy in the way he couldn’t focus on just one part of Tony’s face. “I knew who you were getting into this. You’re an asshole – that’s not a lie. I didn’t expect that to be pretty. I didn’t expect you to be bright and shiny all the time. I get that you were stressed. You’re a human, Tony. And like you said, I’m stuck with you.”

Tony couldn’t remember a time when his words being used against him felt any sweeter. He quickly wrapped Peter in a tight hug, his lips pressing against the side of his head in a tender kiss. “Ecstatically so,” Tony said in a whisper, his entire being simply overwhelmed. He forced himself to pull away, Tony knowing that if he let himself, he’d get pulled under the spell of Peter and all the peaceful goodness his boyfriend could bring. He tapped at the bag he put on Peter’s lap, a soft smile on his lips.

“I know I can’t buy love and all of that, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Peter pulled out the Nintendo Switch version of Super Smash Bros Melee while Tony spoke, his eyes lighting up. They’d been watching all of the trailers and reading up about it – it was the ultimate date night adventure. “There’s a reason why we’re so good together,” Pete said, his feet already carrying him to the tv to get the game into the console. The remotes joined the bowls on the table, and the spent the rest of the night was spent yelling at the tv, each other, and binging on way too much mac and wine.

The next morning, Tony woke up with a gratifying hangover and Peter’s entire body weight against his right side – the best reminder of the gift he constantly got to keep on getting.

The slurred ‘I love you’ pressed against his chest wasn’t too terrible, either.

----

So lock the door And throw out the key Can't fight this no more It's just you and me

Two years with Peter past by insanely quick. After publishing his thesis, Tony graduated with highest honors and scored a pretty decent engineering job with Valero. The pay was great, the hours were nice, and he got to stay in his apartment. An apartment that at the start of the next semester, became Peter’s, too. Tony wanted to be able to give Peter the ability to have a stress-free academic experience. Their schedules intersected in a way that meant they got to eat dinner together every night – it was one of those scenes out of those dream montages for such a long time. Watching Peter learn and grow in both his knowledge and expertise was a lot of fun for Tony. Many nights were spent with the two of them discussing Peter’s work – the man was following Tony’s footsteps and doing an honors thesis, too. The five-year program was the perfect way to get a head start in the professional world – and Tony couldn’t wait to see what Peter was going to bring.

Aside from their jobs, Tony and Peter spent a lot of time with each other and the tight knit group of friends they developed during their time together. Steve and Bucky were old friends of Tony’s, so they were easy to add to Friday night dinners and double dates. It was silly to think that Bucky Barnes wouldn’t get along with another human. He and Peter kicked it off instantly and suddenly, two became four. Tony met Bruce in that lab at Valero – they were both fresh out of school and starting their careers. A little commonality went a long way. He and Natasha were easy to incorporate into the chosen family they were creating. Natasha treated Peter like a mother hen – it made his heart warm to see them sitting in a chair together, the woman running her fingers through Peter’s chestnut locks. Tony didn’t know much about family – but he understood enough to realize just how lucky the group of them were. Thursday night game nights and Sunday afternoon cookouts were the regular – it was nice, they were happy.

The original plan after Peter graduated was for the younger man to join him at Valero. There were many places for a mind like Peter’s in the depths of the energy company’s labs – but a piece of Tony felt like maybe that wasn’t the right place for him. The compound Peter created was unparalleled and his research was insane – to the point where Tony spent many hours reading through it, marveling at the intelligence within the written words. Tony could cop to settling for something that was steady and gave him enough freedom to enjoy the work he was doing. It was enough – yet, Peter deserved a lot more than that in his professional life.

Which is why it wasn’t much of a surprise when Peter brought up a job offer he received in New York – he’d been bouncing around for a couple of days and Tony finally sat him down and asked outright what the fuck was going on. His boyfriend presented research in New York and while there, Oscorp Industries sent a headhunter after him – offering him a job that was hard to pass up. Peter told him about it nervously, his hands fumbling in front of him, long pauses between stuttered out words. For a second, Tony wanted to be offended – the way Peter was acting made him feel like the scariest mother fucker in the world, like he’d be so far away from supportive. Yet, he saw the slightest bit of hope in Peter’s eyes and understood where the nervousness came from. “I want you to come with me, Tony. I know, you’ve got a job here and there’s the guys – but I think we could really make a go out there,” Peter flashed a smile at him, the hope in his eyes growing with each word.

Instinct kicked in and Tony nodded, his eyes wide. “Holy shit, Pete. Congratulations. That’s – that’s amazing!” They were hugging before Tony could even blink, his hands grasping onto the material of Peter’s t-shirt. “I will absolutely move to New York with you. Absolutely.” Tony heard the words in his own ears, the certainty of them. He felt his entire stomach clench – not because he was mad or upset, but because his entire world was about to change. Everything in his entire world was about to change. Peter’s hands framed his face and the rest of the conversation was history – Tony losing his pants in celebration not too long after that.

The next couple of months were jam packed full of both Tony and Peter getting ready to move their entire lives across the country. Peter was finishing up with the last few mandatory things for school and Tony was quietly making future plans – he’d been working on a few things in the lab with Bruce, things that could change the face of energy. Given the right place to do some expansions, they could easily be onto something. While Peter prepped the final parts of his thesis, Tony put together proposals and made finishing touches on presentation material. Though they weren’t spending an insane amount of time together, it was easy to feel assured – secure in the fact that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. They were making plans and figuring things out. Tony was content and thought for certain that Peter was, too.

It made sense – the timing. Tony’s slew of interviews in New York were the same week as Peter’s thesis approval. When the younger man dropped Tony off at the airport, he was still a little grumpy from the little dispute they had earlier. Tony could still remember the heated look in Peter’s eyes. “Why do you have to go this week? You’ve been so quiet about all of this and now all of the sudden you’re leaving? This is a big week for me,” Peter’s voice was a little raw at the end, they’d been hashing it out for a while.

Tony shook his head, the roundabout argument of the unfortunate timing getting a little old. “I’ve shown you the arc reactor plans, Peter. I scheduled all of the interviews to happen all at the same time, so I only had to make one trip – if things go the way I’m hoping, I’ll be home before you find out. I’m sorry, Pete. It’s shit timing, I know. I’ve been keeping this close to the belt because I’m nervous and don’t want to jinx any of the opportunities. I’m sorry, Petey,” Tony mumbled, his hands desperately trying to grip Peter’s cheeks, trying to sooth the other.

There was no soothing, though – Tony could remember a time when he felt as irritable as his boyfriend and shook it all off. There were important things that needed to happen on this trip – and so many of them were hanging in the air. It didn’t make any sense for both of them to be irritable the entire time Tony was away. He ended up leaving the car with a soft kiss against his cheek and a subdued “I love you” which Tony took and returned in stride. With his bag in his hand, Tony stood on the curb and watched Peter pull away, a soft smile on his lips. Turning when he heard Bruce, Tony smiled even wider – they were heading to New York to pitch their arc reactor idea to a couple of investment companies. If all went well, they’d be well on their way to establishing their own energy business. Tony wanted to have the plans in place before telling Peter – he wanted to bring something to the other man to be proud of. Shaking his head and trying his hardest to clear it of the argument, Tony followed Bruce into the airport and boarded the airplane in no time.

The first day of meetings was a total blur. By the time he wandered into his hotel room, Tony sent Peter a quick text message saying he loved him and then dropped onto the bed – his brain totally wiped. Like he figured, there weren’t too many companies willing to give them free rein on the construction and use of the arc reactor – and Tony wasn’t willing to part with such a great piece of technology. It didn’t seem like Bruce was all that keen, either – and he hoped their next day of meetings would go a little better. He didn’t notice his phone buzz a couple of different times, his body and mind lost to the land of slumber until early the next morning. He got up in a rush, the disorienting feeling of sleeping too long hitting him – his body still so tired despite being immobile for more than ten hours. Rolling over, Tony checked his phone and grimaced at the ten missed calls from Peter and the handful of text messages that were considerably more concerning.

Peter Parker [7:30PM]: Hey babe, I love you, too. How’d all the meetings go today? Peter Parker [8:45PM]: Should I take the lack of communication as a good or bad thing? Peter Parker [9:34PM]: I’m getting a little worried. You haven’t answered any of my calls, either. Are you okay? Peter Parker [11:21PM]: I guess you’re just not answering. I hope New York isn’t up in flames, or anything. Peter Parker [1:01AM]: Dammit, Tony.

Sucking in a quick breath, Tony looked over the texts again. He wondered idly how he managed to miss every single one of these – how he didn’t wake up to the buzz. The fatigue of traveling and haggling must’ve really kicked his ass. Tony pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and thought for a second – his brain still a little slow from the haze of sleep sticking around. Why did it seem like Peter was so strung out? Biting down on his lip a little more, Tony shook his head. He knew why Peter was upset and understood it. Things were changing – uncertainty was the name of the game when the entire Earth felt like it was shifting gears. Long fingers tangled into the strands at the front of his hair for a moment before Tony was typing on the screen.

Tony Stark [7:45AM]: Pete, I’m so sorry. Tony Stark [7:46AM]: I got into the room and crashed. Tony Stark [7:47AM]: The meetings were all a bit useless – but we’ve got the ones I’m most looking forward to today. Tony Stark [7:48AM]: I miss you, baby. I’ll call you when we’re done for the day.

He didn’t know how satisfactory that was, but with the time difference between New York and Texas, Tony wouldn’t be able to call Peter before their first meeting at 9AM. He knew Wednesday was the day Pete had a late lecture and liked to sleep a little later into the day. To sweeten the deal a little, Tony clicked on the camera and sent a selfie of him blowing a kiss, his eyes so soft – even he could see the shine in them. Sighing, he got up out of bed and started to get ready for a day filled with negotiating and attempting not to sell their souls. It was exhausting business, trying to prove one’s worth to the rest of the world.

Fortunately, these meetings went much better. There were two investors especially interested in the end product Tony and Bruce had in mind – they were willing to back the project with a workable and decent percentage off the top. The meeting with the bank finished off the last little bit of money they needed and by the end of the day, Tony and Bruce were business owners – hoping to lead the way in clean and sustainable energy, one arc reactor at a time. Tony couldn’t believe they actually convinced people to buy into their idea. In their time in the lab, they’d put together a protype of the model they were interested in building – the thing only missing the necessary elements to bring it together. After Tony passionately describe the construction process and the benefits it would bring – the right people were eating out of the palm of his hand. Tony and Bruce exchanged a couple of brief hugs and then they were off in their separate directions – the one thing Tony appreciated about Bruce more than anything else. There weren’t any expectations.

Excited, Tony pulled out his phone and pulled up Peter’s contact information, his thumb hitting the call button without another thought. It only took a couple rings for the man to pick up – Tony glad for the millionth time that his lover wasn’t petty or able to hold much of a grudge. Tony did dumb shit all the time – he forgot silly things and didn’t answer his phone. Peter took it with grace, the man a saint in that way. A slightly subdued voice met him on the other side of the line. “Hey, Tones,” Peter answered. Tony couldn’t help but smile, regardless of how much he knew Peter wanted to yell at him.

“Hey, baby. I know I fucked up – but I’m so happy to hear your voice,” Tony responded immediately, his body relaxed for the first time since leaving home. Peter chuckled, the sound an immediate reminder of home. “You didn’t fuck up – I was just being a little needy. You leaving got me a little scrambled. I think I just miss you,” Tony sighed at Peter’s words, his heart heaving against his chest. “I miss you, too. But I’ll be home tomorrow – just in time to pick you up to celebrate,” Tony couldn’t contain the excitement in his voice, the joint success of following his dream and Peter realizing his so nice, so fulfilling for the both of them.

“And just what all are we celebrating?” Peter asked, the background noise making it sound like he shifted while he spoke. Tony ran his free hand through his hair, fingers tugging at the ends ever so slightly. “Your thesis approval, of course,” Tony started with, his voice dipping a little, “and the opening of S&B Tech. Bruce and I found some investors today. We’ve got enough to get off the ground and get a functioning prototype up and running.” The words were beautiful coming from his lips – the happiness in his chest hard to be contained.

He heard Peter gasp, the little inhale of breath a recognizable thing – something so very Peter. “Are you serious? I didn’t know you were looking to open a company, Tony! Why didn’t you tell me?” Peter’s question was valid, and Tony thought about it when they started this whole process. “The only honest answer I can give you, Pete, is the fact that I was scared of failing. I didn’t want to make all of these big plans and end up not fulfilling them. When we get to New York, I want us to be able to build from the ground up. It’s just you and me, baby – I wanted to make sure I could give us something worthy of us – of who we are together.” Tony felt so impassioned by the words coming out of his mouth, a huge smile slipping across his cheeks with them.

There was a moment or two of silence on the line, the only really exchange was the sound of their breathing. He’d been with the man long enough to recognize the organized pause – Peter was collecting himself, getting his thoughts together. Tony stuck the edge of his thumb into his mouth to bite at the cuticle – the wait killing him ever so slightly. “I’m such an idiot,” Peter mumbled, the words just barely there across the line. “I thought you were pulling away from me, or something. Like you ran off to New York with Bruce and you weren’t coming back. You’re just brilliant and trying to make the whole world see it. I’m such an idiot and so fucking proud of you,” Peter’s voice broke at the end, a soft laugh trailing off the last couple of words. Tony joined him, his chest lightening with ever vibrating laugh. “I told you before, Peter Parker – you’re stuck with me.”

The next day when Peter got him from the airport, Tony was greeted with two hands on his neck pulling him close – their lips meeting in a hot kiss that lasted much longer than appropriate in public. When they broke apart, Peter was grinning at him, his eye wide and bright – the irises rich like melting chocolate. “Hello, Mr. Entrepreneur,” Peter said softly, his cheeks a bright pink from the flush of their kiss. Tony smirked and leaned in for another quick peck. “Hello, Mr. Parker. Are you ready to celebrate all of the great things happening to us?” Tony’s answer came with a hand slipping into his, Peter’s slim fingers gripping his tightly.

“You bet, Mr. Stark.”

----

Kinda hope we're here forever There's nobody on these streets If you told me that the world's ending Ain't no other way that I could spend it

They stuck around Austin just long enough for Peter to walk across the stage for graduation. Tony didn’t want to admit it, but he’d never been prouder of anything in his entire life. Though they were seated far from all of the graduates, Tony and the crew all got up with a roar when the announcer called Peter Parker across the stage. Summa cum laude, honors graduate, and the Ben Henson grant winner – all and all, the man was stupidly smart, and Tony was so very glad to have someone like him attached to his side. Peter eventually found them after the four-hour ceremony – he looked a little tired and overwhelmed, yet, his eyes were glowing with excitement and happiness, too. When Tony pulled him into an embrace, Peter’s arms came around him tightly. “I’m proud of you, baby,” Tony mumbled, his lips pressed against the side of Pete’s head. Pulling back, Tony saw Peter’s lower lip tremble for just a minute – then he disguised it with a quick kiss to his lips. They didn’t get much more time alone together, the rest of the group embraced them both in a huge hug – the tears that didn’t get shed during the ceremony now cascading down all of their faces. Endings were hard – and this one came with more than a few changes.

Later that evening, Tony was sitting in a foldout chair with Peter in his lap. They’d lit their firepit on the small apartment balcony and the rest of the clan was gathered around it. Bucky and Steve were holding hands between two chairs, Bruce and Natasha were idly chattering to each other from the ground where they decided to camp out after Tony finished with the food on the BBQ. It wasn’t the most high-class graduation party, but they were quickly trying to put their lives into boxes and get their shit together to move across the country. Peter wouldn’t have wanted anything more, either – the boy wasn’t used to fancy things or people making big deals out of what he assumed to be the smallest things. Arms squeezing around his shoulders brought him back from his thoughts, Peter smiling down at him. “This is the best, Tony – thank you.” And little things like that were the nicest reminders of just how good he actually had it – the simple way Peter liked to live his life was all Tony ever wanted, he just didn’t know it until he met the man.

Before leaving for the night, Steve pulled Tony aside – the older man’s hand tight on his shoulder. “Do your best to keep him, Tony. This you, the guy standing in front of me – it’s the best version. I’ve never seen you look happier. And man is he good for you.” Steve stopped then, his hand moving to wrap around Tony’s shoulders to pull him in to a light side hug. “I’m going to miss you, brother. I’m happy to know that you’ve got someone worthy standing by your side, though. Take good care of each other.” He gave Tony another brief squeeze and stepped away, his hand finding Bucky’s – who’d been standing over to the side talking to Peter. The two of them left shortly after. Their goodbyes with Bruce and Natasha were brief – their places in New York weren’t too far from each other. After the door was shut firmly behind everybody, Tony didn’t have to wait long for Peter’s arms to wrap around him – his hands finding the thick locks at the back of his head. “Take me to bed, Mr. Stark.” He didn’t need any more spurring on than that – the rest of Peter’s graduation celebration took place behind a firmly closed door, just the two of them.

The moving van came two days later, the entirety of the life they built together over the past couple of years barely fitting into a medium sized U-Haul. It felt a little bittersweet driving out of Austin – Tony did the most growing of his life in that crazy city. He met the man of his dreams, graduated college, and realized exactly what he needed to be doing in life. He owed a lot to Austin, Texas. They shared a sad smile as they pulled onto the highway and started their first leg of the journey. Peter reached over and grabbed his hand, their fingers intertwining easily. There wasn’t much to be said – leaving together, sitting across the cab of the truck packed with all of their stuff – it was the easiest decision Tony could make. The grin Peter couldn’t keep from his face the first few hours of the drive said he felt the same, too. Though they were heading into the unknown, it didn’t feel as scary as Tony knew it could have.

Since neither of them were in any hurry to actually get there, they spent a couple weeks driving a longer route through Alabama, and then up through Virginia and into Pennsylvania. In the places either of them were eager to explore, they stopped. They took in the Atlanta Renaissance festival – which was an absolute blast. Tony had a hard time believing he’d change his lock screen from the picture of him and Peter dressed up as knights – his boyfriend’s tunic slipped down over his shoulder probably his favorite part. The day was nice when they drove through Virginia, so they spent a few hours exploring Virginia Beach – the taffy they found at a place called Candy Kitchen still making his stomach hurt from the massive amount they ate over the following few days. In Pennsylvania, they spent an afternoon in Philadelphia – the nerd in them both enjoying all of the history. The video he posted of Peter running up the stairs like Rocky got a lot of hits – and ended up scoring Tony the nickname Adrian.

By the time they actually got to the house they managed to score for a pretty decent price, Tony was more than eager to not be behind the wheel. Their adventures were great, and it was more fun than he figured either of them were expecting. It also took them three weeks, most of which Tony spent driving in some fashion, whether it was on the highway or navigating the little side streets of the places they were visiting. Despite the house being completely empty, it was nice to walk in somewhere and finally feel settled. He insisted on carrying Peter over the threshold of their home, regardless of the fact that they weren’t married, and he wasn’t the woman, thank you very much. Tony couldn’t help the huge grin that played across his face when Peter pulled him into a kiss, the younger man still tight in Tony’s arms bridal style. “It’s kind of perfect though, isn’t it?” Peter broke their kiss just long enough to get the words out – Tony’s favorite brown eyes alive, lit with passion and nerves and want and excitement.

That first night on the floor of their brand-new house was one of the best Tony could remember spending with Peter. Fatigue and tiredness fueled love making that was soft and sweet – Tony realizing that there was no need to rush, that now that they were home, they had all this time of their hands. Grown-up responsibilities were cake compared to the thought of what unlimited time with Peter Parker could give him. And when they were done, Peter slid their fingers together, Tony’s left hand tight in Peter’s right. “Do you want to be my husband, Tony Stark?” Tony sucked in a breath and turned his head, eyes wide. The dopey look on Pete’s face spoke of total sincerity and for a moment, Tony let himself soak that in. The most amazing person in the world wanted to marry him – wanted to keep him forever. Leaning forward, Tony pressed his lips to Peter’s nose, the touch lingering. “You bet your cute ass I do. Tony Parker-Stark has a nice ring to it.”

From that point on, life became about getting everything together. Their house, their jobs, and ultimately – their marriage. There weren’t too many surprised people looking back at them when they FaceTimed everyone to let them in on the news. Tony chuckled at Bucky’s “about damn time” and Peter colored when Natasha asked how good the celebratory sex was. It was hard to not be excited when Tony could feel everyone else’s joy for them. It was pretty easy to get lost in the bliss of what having Peter Parker as a partner was like, and the beautiful freedom of working for himself and himself alone. Things were good, and Tony tried to cling to every single piece of that goodness that he could.

The next time Tony looked up from the happy little bubble he was living in, another year had past and they were quickly approaching their wedding date. It was not very surprising, how easy it’d been to plan a wedding with Peter by his side. A small venue outside of the hustle and bustle of the city caught their eye early on and they snatched it up while they could. The place was small and intimate, on the right side of casual – the perfect representation of who Tony and Peter were together. Tony got his way with casual suits, his a light grey with a soft linen white shirt underneath and Peter’s a contrasting dark navy with the same white shirt to match. They didn’t sweat the small stuff and let it all come together.

At least, that’s what Tony thought, anyway.

Then, the coronavirus hit and everything about regular life came to a screeching halt. One week before they were set to get married, Tony got a call from the venue letting him know they were closing and could not guarantee a date that they’d be open again. To say he felt a little gutted was an understatement. Their entire group of friends took the week off to help Tony and Peter put the final touches together for the big day. While he got the call, Steve and Bruce were working on the labels for the small bottles of whiskey they were giving as favors for the guests. Watching the news, the past week kept Tony on edge, though he tried not to show it – he did all the things Peter asked. It seemed as if they were going to keep putting things together until there was no reason not to anymore. When Tony told him about the venue, Peter fell into the loop of Tony’s arms and let himself have a breakdown moment – their friends be damned.

Things got a little worse the next day when shit started to really break down in the city – the virus count was steadily climbing, and they were officially on a stay at home order. There weren’t better people to be stuck inside with, Tony knew that. It just hurt a little – knowing how close they’d come to actually getting married, to having that very group of people stand by their side as Tony finally got to say his vows to Peter and make the bond between them a permanent thing. Peter’s hands constantly grabbing for him or his sad eyes always looking to connect with Tony’s spoke volumes – the man just as distraught about the missed opportunity. In the craziness, it felt silly to be so down about a wedding – Peter was still healthy and safe, that should’ve been enough.

But – it wasn’t. After a mad rush to get groceries and enough supplies to take care of six adults for a while, Tony found Peter wrapped up in the comforter on their bed, his head somewhere in the jungle of all the pillows they kept there. “You doing alright, Petey?” Tony asked softly. He kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed behind Peter, his hands reaching until he could pull the other man closer. His lips pressed against his fiancé’s forehead without a thought, the man turning at the contact. “Don’t pretend like you’re not just as strung out. We were supposed to get married tomorrow. I couldn’t wait to see that ring on your finger,” Peter’s words were a little hard to make out, his face was still pressed against the pillow. Tony managed, though, and pulled him a little closer, his lips pressing a string of kisses against any of the skin he could reach. The tactile movement gave him a couple moments to think, his brain on overdrive – an idea finally coming to him.

“Why don’t we get married tomorrow, anyway? Natasha is ordained, she was going to do the ceremony. Let’s just – do it.” Tony sat up a little, his arms still tight around Peter’s middle. He could see the cogs turning in Peter’s head the second he put the idea out into the air. “The people in this house are the only ones that truly matter to me, Pete. I could care less about everything else – all I need is you. And someone to sign the marriage license,” Tony added as an after-thought. “There’s no reason why we can’t still get married tomorrow, baby.” He added a kiss to his last statement, the press of his lips against Peter’s a silent promise. “I guess we’re getting married tomorrow,” Peter replied with a laugh, his smile covering his cheeks – the sight of it for the first time in a few days lighting Tony’s heart on fire.

It didn’t take much effort to get the group on board with what they had in mind. Instead of walking down the aisle at the small venue, Peter would meet Tony at the bottom of their stairs. And instead of feasting on beef and brisket sliders, Steve and Bucky were going to put together a breakfast feast. It wasn’t the big thing he imagined being able to give Peter – what he felt the man he loved deserved. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling a little excited, no matter what got them there, Peter was going to be his husband - and there was no other way he could think of spending the rest of his days. He wanted Peter to have all of his time, wanted to know the feeling of losing his mind because of the man for as long he’d have him.

The early part of the next day flew by in a flash. Tony, Steve, and Bruce spent most of the day putting together the backyard of the house. They strung up white fairy lights around the perimeter of the fence to match the awning of the porch. Tony mowed the grass and etched around the fence, determined to make the slushy feel of winter disappear from the yard. The day was luckily not calling for snow, or stupidly cold temperatures, so they’d be able to enjoy some of the evening outside in the beauty of a crisp New York night. They moved all of the wooden furniture to the edge of the porch to make a small square of space where the six of them could dance to the playlist Peter spent a couple of months meticulously putting together.

Before Tony knew it, he was getting himself into his suit – the grey of it making his pale skin and dark hair really stand out. He put a little extra fuss to his hair and even let Steve trim up the sides of his beard that he couldn’t see – Tony wanted to look perfect. With the look pieced together, Tony glanced in the mirror. The cut of the jacket fit his shoulders perfectly and led down to his trim waist. The pants were cut right above his ankle, his socks with Peter’s face on them just barely visible. He laughed when Bruce presented them both with a pair the night before, they were the perfect thing to break up the simplicity. Stepping back, Tony nodded at his reflection, his nervous hands running through his hair – fingers just conscious enough not to ruin the rugged look he was going for. Steve and Bruce flanked his side in the mirror for a moment, the three of them looking smooth – like they were heading to the party of the century, instead of the living room of Tony’s house. Wrapping his arms around them both, Tony couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Thanks for being here, fellas. Means a lot.” Neither answered, they simply squished Tony between them.

The second Tony saw Peter start to walk down the stairs, he knew it wouldn’t have mattered where they did this – his soon-to-be husband was an absolute vision. The navy looked good on him and the smile that spread his cheeks from ear to ear completed the look – the happiness radiating from him something Tony knew he needed to work hard to keep around. The man was stunning, and it took Tony a second to realize tears were tracking down his cheeks. He couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that with each step he took, Peter got that much closer to becoming Tony’s husband. Their gazes locked, glistening chocolate brown meeting the lighter honey color of Tony’s. Peter’s pace visibly sped up after that, his smile stretching impossibly further.

Peter’s hand slipped seamlessly into the crook of Tony’s elbow and they took the final few steps together – Nat was set up at the far side of the room, the sliding glass doors behind her letting in natural light. Steve and Bruce were set up on Tony’s side and Bucky on Peter’s, the whole crew huddled together for the most important day of their best friends’ lives. Stopping in front of Nat, Tony turned until he was looking directly at Pete, his hand holding the other’s tightly in his own. They didn’t break eye contact – not even when Nat started to talk.

“It’s a little unconventional, this whole wedding. Which, I think is pretty perfect for Tony and Peter. Since I’ve known them, they’ve been the weirdos of the group. They always bring off the wall movies to movie night – and don’t even get me started on the boardgames they pull out when it’s their night to host. In all of my life, I’ve never experienced a couple who walked together in their weirdness – but these two do. Tony owns his love for making things blow up and Peter will not hesitate to talk to you about how many times he’s gotten his hands stuck to the desk because of his latest experiment. There are no two humans that deserve each other more than Tony and Peter do. It’s a true gift to be a part of that tangible love between them – and I can’t wait to see what the future holds. Like this day, like the two of them – their love is unconventional,” Nat’s voice was bright and confident, her eyes roaming between them. “Pete, you’re up.” She finished in a soft tone, everyone in the room now looking at the youngest of them all.

“Tony, I didn’t expect you. You blew into the coffee shop that day and I haven’t been the same. There are so many things about you that drive me insane. You’re bad at picking up your socks, you leave your whiskey glasses all over the place, you never sleep, and you’re always working. You’re irritating and you know it – which makes it even worse. But, without all of that, you wouldn’t be the most caring, lovable asshole I’ve ever met. You’re my strength in the storm, my reason in times of chaos, and the only person on this entire planet I’d pick up after. You love the same way you live – loudly, hard, and with everything you have. I’m lucky that I got your attention and that you haven’t left me alone since. I promise to keep you level and put you to bed when you need it. I can’t wait to watch your hair gray and spend the rest of my life by your side. I’m stuck with you and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I love you, Tony Stark,” Peter’s eyes jumped from the small vow book to Tony’s every few seconds – his voice getting more and more watery the longer he talked.

Tony wiped a hand under his eye, Peter’s words making everyone in the room cry. Sucking in a breath, he chuckled when Nat arched a brow at him, her eyes big and wet, too. “Good luck doing better than that, Tony.”

“I think it’s funny – how much you didn’t expect me. I dreaded heading into that Ethics class every week and then all of the sudden – I’m listening to this voice impart such wisdom. Then I saw you and it was pretty much over for me. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you have this way of making everyone else see things your way. You’re stubborn, and when you want something, there’s no persuading you otherwise. I can’t wait to argue with you about time in the lab and whose turn it is to do the dishes. You’re the world to me and I’ll take all that comes with that. Pete, you’re everything I didn’t know I was looking for and all that I’ve ever wanted. Our brains together can do anything and today is just the first day of that journey. I promise to keep you safe, happy, and under piles of Legos. I wouldn’t change loving you, hating you, wanting you – for anything. I love you, Petey.”

When Nat finally got around to telling them to kiss, Tony gripped Peter’s cheeks and pulled him close. Their lips met in a kiss that felt different – despite Tony having tasted the other’s lips at least a million times by then. He let a soft groan slip before pulling away – his cheeks a matching shade to Peter’s. Turning around, Tony brought their joined hands to his mouth, his lips brushing the white gold band now settled there.

Later, sitting around the porch with bellies full of delicious breakfast foods, Peter sat in his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck, the position reminiscent of many times before. “Hello husband,” Peter said against his lips, the man’s eyes bright with booze and happiness. Tony pressed another kiss to his lips before answering, “Hey, Mr. Parker-Stark.” He dropped his face into the crease of Pete’s neck, breathing out a sigh of relief. It felt good to finally have his husband in his arms – the day suddenly feeling so long without this closeness. “Now you’re really stuck with me,” Tony rumbled against the skin of Peter’s neck. His lips lingering with each word. He felt Peter’s hands frame his face and pull until they were looking at each other.

“Happily so, husband of mine.”

#starker #peter parker/tony stark #tony stark/peter parker #ironspider #fan fics #ao3 fan fiction #bobbie writes #college/university au #au #alternate universe #stuck with u #song fic

[yeahwellyourface]

MOVIE REVIEW TIME!! A Little Chaos and Far From The Madding Crowd

I had a Matthias Schoenaerts weekend cause the boy can get it. Both of these movies were already on my list, but when I realized he was in them, they jumped to the top. So, here we go.

A Little Chaos

Available on Netflix. Directed by Alan Rickman. Stars: Kate Winslet, Matthias Schoenaerts, Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci, Helen McCrory, and Jennifer Ehle

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2639254/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This one has been on my list for awhile but I really wasn’t in the mood for a depressing period piece. FYI, it is not a depressing period piece. In fact, the word I think works best for describing it is “cute.” It is not a great film, but it is very enjoyable. I smiled through most of it and then when I turned it off, I realized I was still smiling.

The basic plot is that French king Louis XIV is building Versailles and his head gardener, Andre Le Notre, is hiring different gardeners to do different parts of the whole since it is a whole lotta shit. Against his original idea, he hires Madame Sabine de Barra to create a section of the garden that will basically be an outdoor ballroom. She doesn’t do well at court, but some people still like her, some don’t. Given that there is an actual outdoor ballroom at Versailles, I don’t think I’m giving anything away by saying that she eventually builds it (although in actuality, it was not built by a woman…unfortunately). But that’s it. It is a very simple little movie. It is full of tropes and could be quite stupid but the amazing cast makes it charming instead.

So, the fantastic cast…everyone is basically doing exactly what you want them to do. Kate Winslet as Sabine de Barra plays a woman who has been through some shit but is gonna get things done her way and it is no use to try and stop her. She is better than you. Just accept it. Matthias Schoenaerts as Andre Le Notre is mainly there to look pretty (difficult with that horrible hair, but he can do it) and worship de Barra as she deserves. Alan Rickman plays Louis XIV because why the fuck not. Stanley Tucci plays the king’s outlandish bisexual brother who adores both his wife and his young lover. He was in the movie for like 10 minutes and was the best thing ever. Seriously, we need to protect Stanley Tucci at all costs. Helen McCrory is Madame Le Notre and is a bad bitch as only she can be. I bow down to her. Jennifer Ehle plays against type as the flighty mistress to the king. I thought I was going to hate her because the character was supposed to be annoying at first, but I ended up loving her too.

So, yeah. Not a movie to go nuts over, but if you are curled up on the couch one afternoon and want something light and sweet, this will do the trick.

Far From The Madding Crowd

Available on Amazon (but you have to pay for it, even with prime). Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy. Directed by Thomas Vinterberg. Stars: Carey Mulligan, Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Sheen, Tom Sturridge, Juno Temple.

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2935476/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This is another one I’ve been considering for awhile. See that bit above where it says “Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy?” Yeah….that’s why I was putting it off. Now, it’s not that I dislike Thomas Hardy. I actually enjoyed Return of the Native…kinda. But his stuff is very much overdramatic, windswept English countryside. And damn, if that is not something that I am always willing to go for. But I’d do it for Matthias Schoenaerts. So I did.

So, here is the basic plot if you’ve never read the book (and I actually haven’t, but I’ve read about it…does that count?)…young woman, Bathsheba Everdene, with a middle-to-upper class education lives with family on a farm because her parents died. She meets a young man, Gabriel Oak, and then enjoy hanging out and working on the farm together. He has land that is almost paid off and a bunch of sheep. Her aunt owns the land that they live on and work. He falls in love and asks her to marry him. She says no, she doesn’t want to get married and be tied down to a husband. Immediately after, their fortunes reverse. He loses all his sheep (and it’s kinda horrible and depressing, so if you need to look away, I understand) and his land. She inherits a pretty nice farm and is no longer dependent on family. He’s wandering looking for work and accidentally stumbles on her new farm and gets a job as a shepherd there.

Now that she is moving among the landed class, she meets the next door neighbor, Mr. Boldwood, who falls in love with her (the way that happens is she plays a prank on him and is generally an asshole and hurts him and damn, woman, wtf, that was mean…but she does apologize). He asks her to marry him. She says she’ll think about it.

Mixed in with this, we see a side story about an army sergeant and his pretty sweetheart, who used to work at the Everdene farm but ran away to be with the guy…never a good move. They were supposed to get married, but she went to the wrong church. By the time she gets to the right church, he thinks she stood him up and has left. She is now destitute since she left her friends and family. This was another scene where I couldn’t bear to watch. I knew what was going to happen and seeing them both so happy getting ready for the wedding just broke my heart, so I fast forwarded. Sue me.

Anyway, army sergeant Frank Troy is now wandering drunk around the countryside brokenhearted and literally runs into Miss Everdene. She thinks he’s cute and decides to meet up with him. He shows off flashy sword moves and then kisses her and pulls a trump and then runs off. Because we do stupid things sometimes, she is completely charmed by him and runs away to marry him.

Now, through all of this, Mr. Oak has worked for her and been there for her and tried to help her and give advice. He points out that she was an asshole to Mr. Boldwood and she gets pissed at him for telling her because she knows she was and she doesn’t want to be told. He knows that Sergeant Troy is an asshole and tries to convince Miss Everdene to stay away from him but she doesn’t.

Literally at her wedding dinner with Sergeant Troy, Miss Everdene (Mrs. Troy now) realizes that she married and asshole. But she’s stuck with him.

If you really want me to tell you the rest in detail, I will. But basically, she has to deal with an asshole husband, a rich neighbor who is still in love with her (and kinda off his rocker about it), and the shepherd who has loved her for years and been there to support her even when she was an asshole to him. I wonder who she will end up with?!?!Okay, now for the movie. It was just okay. Like, I’ve read the first couple chapters of the book and there is SO MUCH INFORMATION that cannot be put into a movie. There is just not enough time. This is the problem with turning a book into a movie. They have to skip so much that they can end up leaving a lot of it flat. We see Miss Everdene be a good person several times. But we also see her be an asshole. I wish we had been able to see her more indepth. But there wasn’t time. I never felt fully connected to her. When she was being good, I liked her. When she was being an asshole, I disliked her. There was no continuity between those feelings. The movie never gave me a chance to feel conflicted over her. It was all surface feelings. Carey Mulligan does a good enough job for what she is given. But the best relationship is between her and her companion. That’s the only string that carries through with that character.

Matthias Schoenaerts is beautiful, of course. He is the solid character that all the others are whirling around. He is a big man, much bigger and taller than Carey Mulligan and Michael Sheen, but you can see how he curls his shoulders down to give the two of them more power as he is lower class than they are. There is a scene between him and Michael Sheen near the end where he straightens Sheen’s tie, and I think that is the only moment between those two where Schoenaerts stands up straight, as for a moment, they are almost equals. However, by the end of the scene, he is curled in again. It’s really interesting on the choices made there. Because when he is not in a position where he is “under” them, when he is working and being damn good at his job, he is standing up straight. It’s fascinating to see the difference between the two sides of this character.

Michael Sheen. Oh goodness, Michael Sheen. He did so much better for this character than this movie deserved. I love this man and he is so good as an actor, but this character is a bit out there. I wonder how much of his bipolarness is in the book. Cause the character is all over the place in the movie. He goes from one extreme to the next. And yes, some of the plot points are definitely from the book, but the in between stuff….is he really like that? So, Sheen does a great job with what he is given, again. But the character is just so weird and again, very little continuity throughout.

Tom Sturridge plays Sergeant Troy. This character is a huge asshole and Tom Sturridge plays him perfectly. If I met Tom Sturridge on the street, I would want to slap him because I hate him. That is a good sign for an actor.

Juno Temple…another one I love. She is slowly becoming a bigger name, but deserves so much more. In this, she plays Fannie, Sergeant Troy’s first sweetheart. He didn’t deserve her. And I love Juno Temple, so she can do no wrong.

Overall, it’s an okay movie. I won’t pay for it again. I rented it and I’m glad I didn’t buy it. But if it comes on tv, I’ll watch it. If you want to watch it, you won’t hate it. But I don’t recommend running out and grabbing it any which way. The cinematography was BEAUTIFUL. The way they used light was lovely.

So, since I mentioned Matthias Schoenaerts as my reason for going ahead and watching these, lemme talk about my feelings for him in these. He is very strange. Watching interviews with him and seeing his artwork, he seems to be a ball of chaotic energy, but in both of these movies, he is the calm figure that the others bounce around. I watched the beginning of Rust and Bone, but then my internet went out and I wasn’t able to finish it without paying for it again (which I intend to do). And of course, I ADORE The Old Guard. That’s another one where he plays against what seems to be his personality type. I also love The Drop (seriously, one of my all-time favorite movies and if you haven’t seen it, go watch it NOW). That character seems to be a bit more on his level with the chaos, but I hope not with the assholeishness.

Either way, he was stunningly beautiful in these movies. Kate Winslet adored working with him and says that he was so sweet about their sex scene because she was pregnant and felt like shit. His hair is awful in A Little Chaos, but I’ll forgive him, this time.

Anyway, watch A Little Chaos at some point. And I guess you should watch Far From The Madding Crowd at some point too, but don’t pay for it if you don’t have to. Go watch The Old Guard and The Drop RIGHT NOW. Those are much better movies of his. Go watch Rust and Bone and I will watch the rest of it soon.

In A Little Chaos.  Seriously....why would they do this with his hair.

And in Far From The Madding Crowd.  See....much better. And I see you, dude in the background looking at him. I agree, he is definitely a snack.

#matthias schoenaerts #movie review #a little chaos #far from the madding crowd #long post #something about his face makes me want to sit on it

[theastrophilearchitect]

Skyward spoiler-free review.

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson, full rant review, in blog form. Not that it's that long; it was just too long to stick in a wrap-up.

Well, damn.

I mentioned in a recent reads post that I'd read this and had so much to say I was planning a full review, but God only knows whether that or this will be up first, so if it's this one, hi! I read this book.

I'm planning to make this spoiler-free, but if the title of this post doesn't say spoiler-free, it means I'm going to start with a spoiler-free section, then move into spoilers, so if you haven't read this book, don't worry (yet).

Skyward takes place in a (technically dystopian) future in which the remains of humanity upon the Defiant spaceship have crash-landed on the planet Detritus after persecution by the alien race of the Krell. Fast forward several decades, and the Battle of Alta takes place, which allows humanity to drive the Krell back far enough to come together again, and return to the surface. Fast forward a little further, and our story follows teenage Spensa Nightshade, who wants nothing more than to become a pilot and prove both herself and her father, the coward of the Battle of Alta. Then she finds a ship in a cavern - it's broken down, but well beyond any technology humanity has, but fixable. And it speaks.

This book is so well-developed, but that's the basic premise.

So, the story opens, and Spensa gets into flight school. Obviously. The first three hundred fifty pages or so, we're basically just being introduced to a seemingly unnecessary number of characters (which does become less character-soupy as the story continued) and Spensa learns pilot stuff.

In all honesty, it did, even by the end, feel like a few too many characters. For example, Spensa's best friend, Rig, seems unnecessary. His role is as the smart mechanic-guy, and he's fun, but I just don't see why Spensa couldn't be the mechanic. It would've given her a more interesting personality, and just cleaned up our cast of characters.

SPEAKING of Spensa:

'I was Defiant.' What you are, Spensa, is annoying.

At the beginning, Spensa Nightshade is basically your typical I'm-not-like-other-girls. She's smart-mouthed--obnoxiously so--and not pretty, and doesn't fit in, and she's oblivious to flirting. Then, you know, character arcs, and I hate her slightly less by the end of it.

Now. Let's talk romance.

This book has no definitive romance arc, but, as a YA sci-fi, I was expecting it to, so spent the whole book speculating about who was going to be the love interest (and ultimately got it right). The fact Spensa was established with a male best friend worried me we were walking on love triangle-territory, but we weren't, at least so far in this series. Though no romance actually happens in this book, it does set up the obvious romance arc-to-come, and quite well.

Spensa is, however, one oblivious bitch. Like I said before, she's oblivious to flirting. Granted, this flirting doesn't come from the character who is destined to be her love interest (it would be really embarrassing if after the whole series is released and I've read all the books, I look back at this and find out I was wrong). But by God she is dumb.

Towards the end of the book, she makes a couple of comments in the narrative, 'Why was I thinking about [REDACTED]?' and I'm sat here, reading this, like, GEE, I WONDER.

On the plus side, dumb bitches are fun. Unless they're Spensa Nightshade.

I think I love to hate this protagonist.

Ultimately, my issue with this book was the pacing. It's clearly the set-up for a much bigger series (intended to be four books long, as of 12/03/2021) (That's March 12th, not December 3rd), and does so effectively, but so little that happens before we really start to build to the climax is interesting, and most of this book fell flat. Were it anyone other than Sanderson, I probably would have DNFed it, but I didn't, and now I can't stop thinking about it.

Next up on my tbr is the enormous House of Earth and Blood (aka Crescent City) by Sarah J Maas. I'm not 1000% sure now is the best time for me to be reading a 240K word book, but I'm getting FOMO about this book. After that, I'm delving straight into Skyward's sequel, Starsight, which came out last November. The downside of which is, of course, that I will have to wait until this November for Nowhere. The titles of both those sequels make so much more sense now.

So, if you're debating, should you read Skyward? Absolutely. Assuming Starsight lives up to my expectations. If you're somebody who can't bear annoying protagonists or basically a three hundred-page training montage, it may not be for you, but if you are, like me, a sci-fi/fantasy superfan who loves to hate the pain authors wring upon us, you'll love it. Or at least get pumped up for Starsight.

It would be very disappointing if I look back on this and don't like Starsight.

Great. Now I've worried myself. Good night.

Retrospective from myself a few weeks later: I loved Starsight. So Skyward was absolutely worth it.

#blog #blogger #blogging #blogpost #blog post #book blog #bookblr #read #reader #reading #ya fantasy #young adult #ya scifi #ya sci fi #ya books #young adult books #book review #skyward #brandon sanderson #skyward review #cosmere

[kissmyshnymetalass]

Military Transition Information

Sections:

-          Actual GOMOR

-          REFRAD

-          SFL-TAP

-          Resources

-          General Separation Tips

-          Job Hunting and Resume

-          LinkedIn

-          Other Job Hunting Sites (ZipRecruiter/Clearance Jobs/etc)

-          Certifications

ACTUAL GOMOR Nothing to say about this really. It is what it is. You can’t fight it. My parents hired some hot shot civilian lawyer who was horribly expensive but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Ultimately it all comes down to the fact that it isn’t LAW. It is UCMJ and there’s nothing to fight. Your command team has that power. They just do. It is pure bullshit. It drives me crazy. You could try writing your congress person or the army times to put the spotlight on unfair, maddening, preposterous nonsense judgmental decisions but…otherwise you’re boned. My recommendation is to keep your head down and try not to freak out. When my battalion commander told me it would be permanently filed I had a total rage glitch and yelled at him. Did not improve my position, ha. See if you can get moved to another battalion or brigade. That’s a big ask because you’re now branded. But if anyone is still in your corner (a Battalion XO or S3 or even a S1 who is respected and will advocate for you. Maybe the Brigade FSO if you have a good reputation) it can give you breathing room to no longer be in that environment. I had pull with division and was able to get onto staff up there after my flag was lifted. They knew I was only there to transition and were really cool about it- your mileage may vary. REFRAD

The first step is to get a copy of the REFRAD packet. It is mainly memos. Your S1 should have a copy. Then clarify what gates it has to hit (Battalion to Brigade to Division to Installation to HRC I’m pretty sure) and who the people are. You can do this while you’re flagged (if you’re flagged which I assume you are). You can’t submit until you’re unflagged but you can do drafts and send them to the S1 to get corrections. I’d let your command know of your intent to separate if you have any kind of ability to talk to them and let them know you’d appreciate if they could sign this stuff right away. I made it overwhelmingly clear that I disagreed with their handling of the situation and would like to just get out of there as fast as possible. They obliged by signing everything without the “required” counseling sessions.

I submitted mine on like July 6th or 7th and received my approval from HRC O/A 20 August but had to hand walk it. Basically had to call the S1 shop at Battalion every day until they routed to Brigade. Then the same thing with Brigade. Then with Installation. Etc. It is just best to be a pain in the ass about it because otherwise it can get stuck at a gate and require corrections and you’ll just never know about it because S1 sucks, ha. After you get your approval from HRC you still have to wait to get clearing papers and orders. That can take a while. I’m pretty sure I had my orders 9-10 days after getting approval and was given clearing papers six working days before my final out (which was around 16 October). SFL-TAP SFL-TAP was stupid but you may see benefits. There were a couple of contractors hunting for separating Soldiers so you maybe you’ll meet someone like that. Otherwise SFL-TAP went over pretty basic stuff like “consider benefits in addition to salary when job hunting” or “here’s what to wear.” It was FINE. But I wouldn’t say that officers are really the target audience. They will expose you to a few transition assistance programs which could be helpful though. Like I think there is a Microsoft administrator course that is 3-4 months you can do that SFL-TAP can give you info about. Other things like credentialing programs, certification courses, job fairs, etc. I did not use any of these services but I have heard they can be helpful. RESOURCES YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT, YMMV ACP Partnerships. American Corporate Partners. Basically you can apply on their website and they can hook you up with a mentor in your preferred field. I did this and it was fine. I received a mentor but she wasn’t super helpful. I think your experience really depends on your mentor. I’ve heard from others that their mentors are awesome. The nice thing about this is that they assign you a mentorship manager and that person will be very aggressive about providing you with resources (interview prep, resume reviewer, etc)

Corporate Fellowship Program. You can visit hiringourheroes.org. They can basically set you up with a corporate internship. Usually reserved for service members who are going to stay geographically close to their installation. Once again, I did not use this service but I have heard GREAT things and have a close friend who participated and she raves about it. Cameron Brooks/other junior officer recruitment companies. I did Cameron Brooks for a few months. I did not tell them about the GOMOR, ha. Didn’t mention the flag at all. They won’t call your command or anything so I just viewed it as keeping non-essential information to myself. It was also fine. It is free. They will give you books to read and counsel you and do interview prep and everything. It is a nice service. They told me they only “accept the best” as clients. Probably not true so don’t let them convince you they are some secret sauce. They just have a very codified approach. I have heard from others that they can land you in a good job but most are in less desirable locations (like the mid-west. Or Kansas). If you are afraid of transitioning this is kind of nice. Like having a bossy older brother who “knows a guy.” Other Useful “Leaving the Army” Tips Make sure you have a log in to mypay set up. Once you final out your CAC won’t work anywhere. Forward yourself anything in your military email that you may need or want. Download your medical records. Set up a DS login. Stuff like that. I lost a lot because I never did it. Oh well. But learn from my experience, ha. Print off your clothing record and do CIF prep now. At my last installation they wouldn’t make me a CIF appointment until the last six workdays I was in the Army and I had to go back three or four times and it was stressful. Do your homework and equipment cleaning now. All in all it wasn’t too bad. Military surplus stores will work with you. The one near me let me take what I needed from them for free (like a sleeping mat, grenade pouch and ACU print assault pack) with the agreement that once I was cleared I would give them all remaining equipment I had. They made out big in that deal because after a decade I had a ton of shit. Do all the basics. Clean your stuff, get rid of tape residue, etc. Job Hunting and Resumes Oh job hunting. You son of a bitch. First things first, get LinkedIn. Get Premium. I’m pretty sure you can do this for free as a service member but I’m not sure how. I will go into way more LinkedIn detail in a moment. I started job hunting in August. It took three months to find a job. It was NOT easy. You need to write a resume. There are countless agencies who will review it for you for free. There is certainly someone in your SFL-TAP staff who will review your resume. Don’t worry- they will broadcast who they are. I’m sure if you reached out now they could send you examples and review your stuff. Get a lot of eyes on it. Friends, parents, those who have transitioned. If you have any friends in HR have them look at it. De-militarize it. You need to be submitting applications every day. I had a goal to apply to at least one job every day and generally applied to 3 or 5 each day. I applied to 200-300 jobs easily. I received rejections from around 100. The others didn’t even bother letting me know. Of those applications I had the most luck if I went to their LinkedIn page and found someone in HR and introduced myself and offered to provide any additional information. I scheduled around 12 interviews and made it to the second round for 4. Was ultimately offered two jobs in the same week at my price point but it took work.

Find recruiters on LinkedIn. Basically you can search for recruiters in your preferred area. Just add them. Add whoever. And send them an email. I did this and probably met with 10-15 recruiters. None of them were able to place me but talking to them was good. They can help you figure out how to present your skill sets and will send you resumes to review/copy and will sometimes review your resume for you. They WANT to place you because that’s what makes them money so don’t feel weird about reaching out to them. Talking to them is also good general interview prep because they ask most of the same questions an interviewing company would ask.

When applying for a specific job read the posting and then incorporate as many of the words they use IN THE FORMAT THEY USE THEM into your resume. They will almost certainly filter your application through a software designed to separate those totally unqualified. For instance, if you hold a project management certification and on your resume you write PMP Certified but in the job description they say “Project management professional certification preferred” then go back to your resume and change PMP to Project Management Professional.

Biggest piece of advice here is Don’t Give Up. It is soul crushing. You will feel panicked and shitty and underqualified. That’s normal from what I hear. Don’t marry yourself to the first job. I’ve heard from professional recruiters that companies are more likely to hire a veteran after he/she has successfully held a civilian job for one year after separation. My advice would be to accept a job that pays you fairly for the security and reassess after a year. There’s absolutely no problem with changing jobs later. LinkedIn Fuck you, LinkedIn. LinkedIn is such bullshit. But civilians are rock fucking hard for it. So get a LinkedIn. Make sure everything is up to date. Have a picture- NOT a military picture. The same boring one everyone has on LinkedIn. You’re wearing a tie. You’re smiling like a goober. Write all the bullshit nonsense about how you’re a trendsetter and a problem solver and an out of the box thinker. Really sell yourself. Make connections. Make as many connections as you can. For some reason you seem more hireable when you have a ton of connections. Find recruiters and add them. Find people who are doing the thing you want to do in the city you want to do it in and add them. Interact with people. It is all a show but just do it because that’s the game and the prize for winning the game is a nice salary and a successful transition. Find all of the companies who typically hire vets if you’re interested in that. Deloitte, Raytheon, Leidos, Lockheed Martin, etc. Most recruiters associated with these organizations put out content regularly that’s aimed at transitioning service members. They will host classes and online information sessions. Attend them. Follow the advice of the recruiters. All advise basically boils down to market yourself, make connections, expand your network, tailor your resume, follow up in a personal way to applications (contacting HR people or recruiters within the company), send out resumes daily, interview well, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Get premium so you can see who looks at your profile. Other Job Hunting Sites/Resources I actually got my job using ZipRecruiter, not LinkedIn. So I would definitely use ZipRecruiter. You can use ClearanceJobs if you have a clearance. You should go to whichever state you want to work in’s website as well because they’ll post local jobs (like working as a project manager for the department of transportation in Kentucky or whatever). I received a few interviews (well, 2) doing this. I think because it is kind of a pain in the ass to apply that way. Look at universities and hospitals in your preferred area. Often the jobs they post don’t make it onto other sites. Follow companies you’d like to work for on LinkedIn. Sometimes organizations will advertise openings that don’t make it to the LinkedIn job search function for some reason. Instead they’ll make a post about an opening and the link will take you directly to their website. Certifications Probably didn’t need this whole section but…get certs. They both matter and they don’t matter. I don’t think my certs really helped me get my job but they certainly didn’t hurt. PMP (as aforementioned) is a big one.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy Season 16x17 review.

What a messed up episode it was. So starting from the most messed up and going down.

______________________________________________________________________________

Tom Koracick He gets a section tomhimself today because honestly, his life is starting to get really complicate as was expected seeing that he's at Grey Sloan. Him and Teddy, somehow or the other I feel he's going to have the worst part of this stick. Teddy has Been in love with Owen since she even arrived at the hospital in season 6 (or 5 can't remember too clearly), but after loving someone for so long, chances are she isn't going to leave him now. She was hurt and scared because Owen could possibly have another child and he drops her like a hot potato for anyone so, with all her feelings she went to Tom and he of course slept with her because, he loves her a surprising amount. I wish that he could find the strength to tell her no, because he's going to wind up hurt and with the way everyone treats him. He's going to really be in an emotional hole after it all. As for him and Mr Billionaire. I always used to imagine scenarios like the one he proposed to Tom, but probably in a spy movie I didn't actually expect Tom to do it. He's going to end up using the money for his lawyer bills because he's not even going to have a chance if he's found out. His licenses will be gone and so will his life. He'll end up in jail along with the  billionaire. Who is clearly one of the dumbest geniuses I've ever seen. All of that because he's made a mistake and could be arrested. If his plan is found out he'll be as ruined as Tom. I don't like where that case is going. I like Tom but I don't think he should risk anything for that man who clearly thinks he's the s**t and I can definitely see Tom's emotional Grey's spiral coming. I wish him the best of luck.

______________________________________________________________________________

Teddy I think we should check her for a tumor or a mental illness as well because I don't know what happened to her. I would have never expected Teddy to be like this. She was one of the most respectable women on Grey's. I know that she was emotional but she has been pinning for Owen for Years and years and she didn't even think to talk to him? Come on Teddy and she's using Tom, Maggie's speech was spot on she's sleeping with Tom who is madly in love with her when she knows she loves Owen, like leave Tom out of it sleep with someone else. And her reaction when she told Owen that Amelia's baby could be his and she asks him where does that leave them. He apparently took 5 seconds to long and she walked away, come on Teddy..... you just told the man that he could possibly be the father of a 3rd baby and with another woman all under the under the age of 3 and you're upset he took 5 seconds before answering, now I'm no Owen fan but Jeeze give the guy some time to process before making assumptions and what she said about Amelia, thank God for Maggie because her reasoning for being angry at Amelia was crap, especially because she did the exact same thing with Owen so the real loser here is Owen and Tom. She needs to pull it together soon because I'm sure this isn't over even though Owen isn't the Father.

______________________________________________________________________________

Owen Karma's a bitch I guess I almost feel sorry for him, this is the best he's been in any relationship. He's in yet another love triangle with the same woman but this time he's not the one being chased. I also want to talk about his old school way of life. Why the he'll should Teddy have to plan the wedding herself, it's like Christina not wanting to have kids all over again. She's a surgeon and a mom, both of those things are full time job. You still plan your wedding with the wedding planner except they do all of the running around for you.if he wants a planned wedding so much he should do it himself and Teddy needs to learn to say no she's going to stress herself planning a wedding the same way she did making Halloween costumes.

______________________________________________________________________________

Richard Yet another painful one, not only is he quitting surgery he's also pushing the people who care about him further and further away. He was so angry I almost thought that he would have had to be committed. I am praying that Webber is not leaving as well even if he's not doing surgery he should teach or something Bailey was right the hospital needs him and the show sure as he'll does as well. He wants to sell his paths pen, do you Webber but ,make sure you come back. Maybe he'll make enough money that Catherine doesn't feel like she can buy him anymore. Where the he'll Is Catherine anyway? She's doing everything behind the scenes and as usual Bailey has to take the fall.

______________________________________________________________________________

Link/Amelia Yay, I think we can safely take Amelia out of the Owen, Teddy, Koracick thing because her and Link are back together and even better Link is the father. While I still don't agree with how the whole thing was handled I'm just glad that they're together again and the whole Amelia, Owen thing isn't going to start again. No more children deserve to be involved in that mess. Not to mention now we get to see more daddy Link. I know that they're going to definitely have more struggles along the road I mean after all this is Grey's but I at least hope that no more of those problems will include Owen Hunt.

______________________________________________________________________________

Jo Didn't know which last name to call her anymore. She's in a bad mood understandably but not in her need to get committed mood, which I'm glad for. The actress in real life is pregnant and I'm just wondering how that's going to be played off. It can't be written in that wouldn't make any sense but I was wondering if they're going to make Jo take some time off. She would definitely deserve it. I'm glad that she's not spiralling too much at least not yet. She's in a funk but like she said she'll pick herself up because she knows she deserves love.

______________________________________________________________________________

Deluca Is talking to a shrink but doesn't really think he needs it and coming from experience that's never a good thing. I hope he realizes it soon before it ruins him and based on some spoilers I read its not seeming too likely.

______________________________________________________________________________

Meredith Isn't in the mood to talk about her feelings, she was hit on by a billionaire and rightfully angry at the world because the woman who had to ration her insulin because she couldn't afford was heartbreaking. I live in a country where most health care and medication is free or at a reasonable price unless you choose otherwise so I couldn't imagine how hard it is to be unable to get the health care you need so that was hard to watch. Meredith was also right to be pissed off that some billionaire just decided that he doesn't want to accept responsibility and cleared a whole hospital floor to do it. (Even if Catherine was the one to do it). She misses Alex and had yet another conversation with Bailey (this is the most I've seen them talk this whole series.) And they basically express how everyone is leaving or dying and it's lonely without them and nothing else have ever been more accurate. The amount of life and family togetherness that was in the beginning of the series definitely isn't there anymore.

______________________________________________________________________________

Bailey Was just there being concerned about Webber, I felt for her when Webber started freaking out and throwing stuff you could seen her internal struggle between staying with him or doing her job. I hope they aren't going to make her lose her work husband and basically the only person at Grey Sloan who would stand up for her. And she needs to stand up to Catherine that woman has been throwing her under the bus for too long.

______________________________________________________________________________

Jackson Broke up with his girlfriend Vic.............. I have no idea if to feel bad or happy. I don't really watch Station 19 unless if it has Bailey or is necessary to watch in order to understand what's going on in Grey's as well as the first 6 episodes of season one that I watched so I have no idea what was going on with them. I kind of picked up that she got kicked out of her home and moved into Jackson's place without telling him. But what's don't get is the reactions he was upset that she moved in and I understood because who moves into someone's place without asking but now she moves out and he's upset and for stupid reasons. Dean her new roommate/boatmate once hit on Maggie when they were together and he didn't know. She's going to help Dean raise a baby. The man's a new single father to a newborn I don't think he has time to steal someone's gf. But thank God I no longer have to hear the stupid argument again because they broke up well he broke up with her. Props to her to waiting around all day so he could do it though. Jackson is one of the characters who started off as one of my favorites but has now made his way to the bottom of the list.

______________________________________________________________________________

Maggie The usual cheerleader, when are they going to finally give her a plot that isn't cheering someone on, being annoying or a plot that lasts 5 seconds. It's almost like she isn't even there. Give the girl a good plot for God's sake, she shouldn't just be a cheerleader. That being said, she was spitting facts today with Teddy though and she's probably going to spill Teddy's secret because shes bad at keeping secrets thats a potential hot mess in the making.

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End notes and questions

What the Hell is Tom doing??? It's dumb and I hope someone talks some sense into him soon.

What's going to happen to Richard? Is he leaving the show as well? I hope not he's one of the only good things left.

Is Deluca going to be ok? He's got to admit he needs help soon.

And last but not least, What will happen to the hot mess that is Owen and Teddy?

#grey's anatomy #greys anatomy #grey s anatomy #grey's spoilers #grey's s16 #grey's abc #grey's season 16 #meredith grey #miranda bailey #richard webber #owen hunt #jackson avery #maggie pierce #amelia shepherd #atticus link #catherine avery #teddy altman #tom koracick #shondaland #shonda rhimes #fandom #tv show #tv series #tv characters #episode review #jo wilson #jo karev #andrew deluca #tv fandom

[songsorter28]

Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be. 

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng  boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices: 

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez. 

Now, on a more personal note. 

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong). 

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg). 

Wow, that was long. At essence, it  was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that  I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single. 

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d)  My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

#Blackpink Jisoo Jennie Rosé Lisa TheAlbum The Album AlbumReview Album Review Kpop

[celticheartedfangirl]

My OUAT Rewatch -- S5E11 -- Swan Song

Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive

Me getting through this episode . . . . . . . 

So . . . . this is gonna be LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.  I have time, I have opinions, and I’m not holding back.  Under the cut for length and just a heads up there WILL BE BELLE CRITICISM UNDER HERE.  When I get to that point I will strike out all of the Belle critical stuff like this.  It doesn’t mean I don’t MEAN IT -- I just want to give those who can’t handle Belle being dragged the opportunity to easily bypass that section.  

Are we ready?

Me AFTER I watched this episode, BTW . . . . . . 

So, honestly, as has been the case since this arc crap started, this is a rushed, sloppy, choppy, hacked up episode with a bunch of shit going on, it’s clearly a hot mess of shit, there are OBVIOUS deleted scenes we never saw and never WILL see, and I can totally understand why so many just flat out noped the fuck out of this show at this point.  Because it really is NOT enjoyable and frankly, even knowing what comes, it still makes me stabby.  

But I have to find a way of plodding through this here, so let’s do a point by point order of things, in no particular order:

1.  So Hook murdered his dad and left his little brother an orphan.  Whatta guy!  Honestly, here’s the thing -- all the anti-Rumple folk bitch about how many people he killed, and really I don’t think his body count is higher than Hook’s.  Rumple kills when he’s pissed off, and almost always in a heat of the moment thing (see: Milah, the dudes that used to bully him as a spinner, Tamara).  He doesn’t just go off killing to kill for thrills and funsies and murder trinkets.  Hook has admitted ON SCREEN to killing dozens -- and this was as a mortal with no dark curse whispering in his ear 24/7.  What’s HIS excuse?  

2.  OMG, Emma really just got completely destroyed at this point, didn’t she.  I found a VERY GOOD meta on the destruction of Emma Swan and why CS is such utter bullshit so I thought I’d share it here:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134225913047/lana-ny-swanmills-cs-is-literally-so-terrible

3.  Slight fun side note -- DON’S Mess with OQ, yo!  

From the OFFICIAL Once Upon a Time Twitter!  Happy Endgins!  

Okay where was I . . . . this is what happens when I scroll through late 2015 me . . . ahem . . . 

4.  This would have been the perfect way to keep Zee the fuck off the show forever.  Just saying . . . . . . 

5.  Side note 2: some fun times with December 2015 me live blogging this shitfest . . . . . 

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134695062042/any-wagers-on-them-cutting-that-scene-of-belle

Yup . . . they cut it . . . shocking, right?

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134695563322/so-hold-up

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134694787487/that-was-literally-the-worst-writing-ive-seen

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134704968232/rumple-moving-the-darkness-didnt-even-make-sense

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/135222506932/friendly-reminder-that-killian-was-a-dead-man

6.  Post-episode Adam Horowitz being an absolute DICK to fans on Twitter -- just follow our vision, FUCK your vision, you hack! (Bonus points for a hijacking of this post by some asshole CS fan):

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134802058737/rumplegasm-mybittersweetblasphemy

7.  The AMY MANSON saga:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/134756133022/amy-manson-deleted-her-retweets-of-ouat-negativity

There are also BTS somewhere of Merida marching Arthur out of Storybrooke that were filmed for this episode.  Remember . . . at the end of The Bear King, Merida promised she was coming for Arthur.  Did that ever happen?  Of course not.  HACKS.  Also Amy did PRESS for this episode and so it’s clear they never even TOLD HER that her scenes for this episode were CUT.  So there’s also that.  HACKS. 

8.  Check out the Lily Sparks review of this episode because it is EVERYTHING:

http://www.tv.com/news/once-upon-a-time-swan-song-review-headed-to-hell-in-a-handbasket-144942941967/

I want to point out specifically, on page 3, what she says about Rumple taking back the Dark One powers:

And then Emma heard all the Parseltongue and followed the sounds to the pawnshop and Rumple was like, "LOL okay you got me, I totally performed a quick spell that somehow cleaved apart the Excalibur and became the Dark One because eff everybody invested in my character. I essentially have a multiple-personality disorder and no one on the writing staff gave me the memo about not trying to convey a genuine struggle while I was playing Rumple these last three years." I'm sorry but this twist was so lazy it infuriated me. I can't believe that shit made it out of a first draft, let alone through studio and network notes.

Which, sadly . . . . . . brings me to Belle and Rumbelle.

9. Belle’s theme song:

Yeah, it’s not gonna get better from here . . . . 

So damn . . . . Belle really was kind of a bitch in this episode, huh?  I mean . . . . at the TIME I was happy for the hugs and kisses and sex but watching it again just . . . DAMN . . . . . 

Also, “For the first time ever you were selfless” GTFO of here!!!!!

For the first time EVER????  GTFO, what kind of shit writing is this???  How did Emilie even deliver that garbage fire of a line with a straight face, and how did Bobby even react to it without a lot of cursing?  Or maybe he did.  We do know that they wanted Rumbelle to bang on the bed in the shop and Bobby put his foot down on that one and they literally created a bedroom set for that 30 second scene because Bobby wasn’t gonna have them film the post-coital scene in the shop.  

So yay for Bobby?  

10.  I wrote this post regarding this episode IN DEFENSE OF RUMPLE -- still stand by every word (there is Belle dragging and I mean DRAGGING in this post -- you’ve been warned):

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/177022910487/in-defense-of-rumpelstiltskin-in-s5e11

11.  In closing -- A SUMMARY:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/135191267572/summary-of-ouat-finale

Here have some fan art:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/135246399887/retrogrlfan-there-is-no-reason-for-this

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/135223382862/retrogrlfan-more-pink-rumple

Points tally:

40 points to start

20 points for 2 Rumbelle hugs

20 points for 2 Rumbelle kisses

5 points for Swan Queen

20 points deducted for BOTH OOC Belle and Rumple nonsense

10 points deducted for Hook & Zelena

Full 25 deducted and I want to give bonus for the Rumbelle sex but . . . . this episode just doesn’t deserve it.  

Total points: 30

Moving on .  . . are we ready?

Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!

#celtichearted ouat ranking #swan song #anti hook #anti cs #anti ouat writers #ouat criticism #belle critical

[chromecutie]

Not A Ghost - part 30

A/N - Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.

Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvelhead17 @rovvboat @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ @master-sass-blast ​ @mori-fandom @mooleche @dandyqueen @emberbent @leo-writer . Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.

-------------------------------------

Piotr’s gut was in knots, sick with worry. Each minute passing by was a minute that his wife and best friend were in terrible danger.

Charles Xavier reviewed the plans of the Icebox, projected onto the wall of his office. One of his teams had hacked into government servers to steal them. Even so, they weren’t complete plans. Some of the files were redacted, and the team was still looking for full versions. But, it was enough to confirm what Xavier had suspected for years. “Part of the structure has the very same alloy that Magneto and the Juggernaut use in their helmets, to keep telepaths from finding them.” He centered his gaze on the distraught Russian. “That’s why I could never find her with Cerebro, Peter. I’m sorry.”

Piotr clenched his fists, then released. “I always knew it wasn’t for lack of trying, Professor.”

"What we don't know," Xavier inhaled, deep in thought, "is how they acquired so much of it."

Cable pointed at one section, then another, "I initially breached here. In this section is where I first engaged Wade. We did a lot of damage they'll have repaired by now." He looked back at the others. "Do we have anything on the repairs?"

Xavier shook his head, "The hackers are still looking. It will be a matter of time."

"We don't have much time," Piotr huffed, agitated, and paced around the table. 

"The plan," Cable said firmly as he followed the Russian giant with his gaze, "is for them to take the control office where the DMC keeps the hard tokens. They will need time for that. If we rush in too soon, there's too many factors we can't control."

Usually, Piotr was the levelheaded one. Usually, Piotr was the one talking down Logan or Scott from doing something drastic without thinking. His shoulders were tight with guilt and fear, tension etched into his expression. He turned to the youngest person in the room, "Russell, what can you tell us? What is the daily routine, how do new inmates get processed?"

Russell swallowed. It didn’t seem that long ago since he’d been in the Icebox himself, and he remembered even being a little excited to go, thinking he’d take over the whole prison with pure aggression and willpower. A lot had changed since Wade had taken a bullet for him, including realizing how dangerous the prison really was. He didn't dare say aloud that he thought taking over the place was impossible. “New inmates,” he began, licking his lips, “get hosed off before they give you the jumpsuit. They took mugshots of me and Wade and assigned us numbers, but I heard they don’t do that with everyone…” The adults shared a pointed look that made him pause.

“What else?” Xavier prompted gently.

He thought for a moment, then continued, “They brought me and Wade in at bedtime, put us in the same cell at lights-out. They did meals at six, twelve, and six.”

“What about guard rotations?” Piotr asked. “Or anything about the control office?”

When Russell couldn’t recall much specifically, admitting that wasn’t what he had been paying attention to, Cable filled in what he could. On the schematics, he pointed out a central box where he had previously encountered the officers gearing up in the armory. It had mostly glass walls, a bank of monitors to track security camera footage, control panels to operate every door in the Icebox.

“If they’re smart,” he added, “They’ll have changed a lot of this in the repairs.” Cable cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “Superior firepower aside, I had next to no trouble just walking in there.”

Xavier nodded, carefully considering their options and the best approach to breaching the most secure mutant holding facility in the world.

Brows set in a scowl, hands clenching and releasing, heart pounding with worry, Piotr asked the teenage boy, “Is Rhonda well known in that place? What is her reputation?” He couldn’t bring himself to say his real question aloud. 

Russell’s eyes widened slightly, then his gaze fell to the surface of the table under his fingers. He grimaced, sucking his teeth before answering, “The main thing I was told was you only sign the ‘Book in a group.”

--

"Already making the boys cry," Mimi purred in the dark. "I always liked you."

“You arranged this on purpose,” Rhonda didn’t move from having her back against the cell door, wary of every word and action from the leader of the Vicious 13. One hand rose to her collar and rubbed at the scabs.

Mimi leaned into the glow from neighboring cells’ lights, revealing dark, pointed scales like a viper. In more light, the scales would shine shades of green and purple, but in the dark, they looked charcoal grey. Her pale eyes, framed by big, fake, very contraband lashes, greedily drank in Rhonda’s frame, from the green of her hair to the clenched fists. “Of course I did,” she showed a little slip of pointed teeth in a smile, “I couldn’t have you getting killed too soon.”

Rhonda rolled her eyes and slipped onto her cot, but her shoulders didn’t relax. “So you can give me the Join Us Or Die pitch again.”

The reptilian woman clicked her tongue, a delicate sound, “I never say ‘or die,’ please.”

“Well, someone trying to kill me after every time I turn you down isn’t subtle.” She started to settle under the thin blanket. It would never keep her warm enough.

There was a rustling sound like dry leaves as Mimi shifted around. “What about that husband of yours? Did he toss you back in here, or was he never real to begin with?”

Rhonda delayed her answer. It was best to give someone like Mimi as little information as possible. “He’s real.” Over the dull murmuring of inmates settling into bed, someone a few cells down coughed. Maybe Wade.

“Ah,” Mimi hummed with too much amusement, “Homecoming didn’t go as planned. My condolences.” The rustling sounded again, with an added swishing. “Well, a few things have changed since you ran off. What if I told you I’m the only gang in the Icebox now?” Rhonda was quiet long enough that she prodded, “Guestbook?”

“I’ll think about it,” she finally said, even as her skin was crawling.

“You’re a wonderful conversationalist, as always--”

“Good night, Mimi, shut up.”

--

One night down and Rhonda’s muscles were already getting stiff, joints already starting to ache. The hottest the showers would go was just a shade less than lukewarm. A grid of pipes hung from the ceiling in the completely open shower area, a spraying spout at each intersection. Sixteen inmates could shower at once, but there was no privacy. Between being exposed and cold, Rhonda couldn’t get the goosebumps on her skin to lie flat. She tried to imagine the tepid water was just a light summer rain, one she might go dance in just so her husband would laugh and say she was ridiculous. 

The showers were a dangerous place, surrounded by other wet, naked inmates, and Rhonda kept her eyes peeled the whole time, even when she got a little soap in them. Other inmates bumped into her or brushed close enough to slash her open if they’d managed to palm a shiv, but none of them gave her anything worse than a sidelong glare. 

The towels managed to be both threadbare and scratchy. At one of the cubbies that lined the walls of the shower area, Rhonda scrubbed herself just dry enough that she wasn’t dripping, and yanked on her DMC-provided underwear, grey t-shirt, and yellow jumpsuit. Another inmate, a wiry man with stringy blond hair lazily walked toward the cubby next to hers. She slipped on her flimsy velcro shoes without her socks, ready to fight or run. Getting shanked wasn’t the only danger in this place.

“Tick tock, motherfucker,” the wiry man hissed. “We all know you’re gonna tell Mimi no. Hurry up so we can have some fun with you.” So they were waiting. Either Rhonda would make an arrangement with Mimi and the Vicious 13 and she would have a modicum of protection, or she wouldn’t, and the attack could come from anywhere at any time. How long would they wait? Hopefully she would have time to talk to Wade.

--

Rhonda had gotten to the mess hall with just enough time to get a tray and scarf down some breakfast. She found Wade and took a seat beside him. Between bites of the thinnest, most underdone waffle ever, she noted his fresh black eye. “What happened to you?”

“Oh this?” he laughed, “My cellie was practicing our secret handshake. You should see him.”

“Try not to get in any more fights,” Rhonda replied firmly. She nearly choked on the dregs as she took a swig of what they said was coffee. “We’re joining a gang.”

Wade guffawed loudly enough to make a few people briefly turn their heads and look. “My friend is hilarious!” he told them, waving them off, “Just - just an inside joke, don’t worry about it.” Then he lifted some of Rhonda’s damp hair so he could say low in her ear, “Did you already get kicked in the head? What are you thinking?”

She leaned away until he let go of her hair and grumbled, “I think our options are real fucking slim unless we get some kind of alliance, and I have an in.” She gave the quickest, most casual of glances past Wade to the end of the tables. “You see the snake with eyelashes?”

Wade gave a much more obvious glance, and even waved. Turning back to Rhonda, his eyes went wide in a bright smile. “She’s a giiirrl dragon!”

Rhonda finished her last bite of cold hash browns and shook her head. “I wouldn’t make any more Shrek jokes unless you plan on being the donkey who fucks her.”

#piotr rasputin x oc #colossus x oc #not a ghost #xmen fanfic #deadpool fanfic #longfic #multipart fic #angst #deadpool 2 #colossus #piotr rasputin

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider Ghost Episodes 17-50

Ghosts are spooky.

Coming out later than it should, it is finally here, the final review on Kamen Rider Ghost. I avoided writing this review as much as I could, but if I wanted to move on I had to get this out so, here we are.

Yes, by my tone you probably already guessed that I didn't like Ghost. But it's not really that I disliked it, is more that I didn't feel anything for it?

If you asked me to describe Ghost in one word that word would be: forgettable. Because at the end of the day Ghost hasn't left an impression on me, and if it weren't for all the notes I made and the screenshots I took I wouldn't remember a single thing about this show, and it's not because time has passed, because I still remember W, heck I still remember a lot of thing from Fourze and Drive that are seasons that I hate. But for Ghost, I couldn't remember a thing. To write this post I had to read my notes five times, while looking at the screenshots I took, and with the Wikia page open so that I could locate myself, I also needed a help from YouTube to remember a few of the scenes.

But giving credit where its due, my experience with Ghost wasn't just a bunch of boredom and confusion, it had a few good moments, in particular the second part of it. Yes, it had its flaws, most of what I mentioned in my first post was present, but they had new additions that were interesting and that, judging by my notes, got me very engaged. Sadly, when the third portion started all that was interesting was dropped and what we got was a big pile of mess that didn't make a lot of sense, and that had no meaning at all, at least none that I could see hidden in all that madness. That final arc made things look very empty and without a purpose. And it's sad that it went that way because, and I'm gonna sound repetitive here, they had great concepts and pretty damn good visuals but the execution lacked a lot.

I don't really have a direction to line up my thoughts about everything that happened in these 30+ episodes so I'll do the same thing I did for Gaim and go character by character here, starting with the Riders:

Takeru was bland (look at me repeating myself again), to me he had no personality at all. He was very wasted, like the dude died and he's a ghost, that was supposed to be cool, and it wasn't. They could use his backstory with religion play a part in this, but the most it did for him was seeing him meditating here and there, the fact he grew up in a temple didn't make much difference for him. They could've made some cool stuff with his dad, have him like a spiritual guide or something, but no the most we got was a few scenes that lacked emotion and it wasn't fun to see. And another repeated complaint, the number of times he died and came back and had his countdown restarted was a joke, just like his motivational speeches that are generic as fuck and never hit the mark, at least with me.

There was a single time where I started feeling like Takeru was interesting and it was when he started being a bitch and all heroic Eyecons left him because they couldn't sense the heroicness on him or something like that. I thought that moment would give him a personality and it could start a journey of persona growing as he would have to gather all Eyecons again. But then the show dumped a bucket of pig's blood on my face and made all Eyecons get back to him in the same episode and the most we got in the development department was those horrible scenes where the Eyecons would drag Takeru inside them to have vague conversations that are meant to sound deep and smart but that only sound dumb (just like me in this blog). 

Makoto... was useless. I know this is a running gag about secondary riders, but I never felt that SO MUCH like I did with Makoto. The dude did nothing, this whole time. He got controlled by the enemies, AGAIN, then we know his also kind of a ghost because his body is in the Ganma's dimension, but that was just a convenience to give him his power-up, then he spends some time doing nothing just to bump with a side-plot about him having copies of himself that pretty much goes nowhere because most of the times the copies only interact with him and it's just a waste of time. And don't get me started on the implications that he loves his sister more than he should because that's a disgusting hole I don't wanna get in because I don't want this post to become as long as a scientific article.

Alain was definitely my favorite of the riders, I dare say my favorite member of this whole cast. His story is rough, I admit it's very hard to see anything interesting on him at the start. But when all shit goes down with his family and he gets his "redemption arc" it's a true delight to see him. His whole thing with the Takoyaki lady was very pretty and very emotional and it was definitely the high point of the season to me, it really hit me hard seeing the lady die, and I understand that this is a show for kids and they don't wanna be sad and gloomy all the time but I really think the show needed more moments like this, you know? Make us really think about death, and how that affects the living. It's a shame that in the third act Alain had to deal with the whole mess with his family and seeing his own people being pulverized for no reason at all because it felt that they traded something more unique to a very generic thing.

Moving to side characters, Akari remained consistently interesting, of course, I think they could've used her way more seeing that she's supposed to be the scientific side in a very spiritual show, but it felt like they only used her science background when it was convenient for them, they didn't make much of a discussion. Regardless of that I still like her, I like how she's not a romantic interest, she's somewhat very proactive, and even though he sucks at it she does kick some ass. Sadly most of the time they just make her the Straight Man to Onari who's one of the worst characters ever because he's annoying as hell, he's character is very flat-lined, he doesn't have an arc, he doesn't change, he's just there for bad comedy. Heck that guy who's an apprentice in the temple, the one that has the mom with the lamen shop, I think Shibuya is his name, he has more of a character than Onori, he even has more of a character than Makoto's sister who took over the role of the token girl and as a token girl she only serves to be Makoto's motivation and Alain's romantic pair and has nothing of her own.

We also had Cubi and the other Mozart Ganma that were a very interesting concept of a MOTW who develops a personality that is a leftover from their "human counterpart" in the Ganma world, but instead of making something cool with it they just drop the concept, the two go away and disappear for a big chunk of the show just to come back at the end for a very small participation if I'm remembering it correctly and it's just a disappointment.

Closing the good guys' side are Yurusen and Edith. I said Yurusen was annoying at the beginning but that little thing grew on me, also the revelation at the end that Yurusen was actually a cat makes it impossible for me to dislike it so... the same can't be said about Edith. I'm sorry but I hate the guy, more or less because I don't get him. Like, he's supposed to be a double agent? But he always seems so shady to both sides so it can mean that he has his own agenda and that he's helping both sides in order to get what he wants but nothing ever comes out of it and it's just frustrating.

I was planning on doing a section about the villains and go on each one of them, but their plotline is so confusing, I didn't understand it while watching it and I most definitely won't be able to do this based only in my confused notes so I'll just bundle them up in a single paragraph.

So basically their thing is basically an alien invasion plot, their world is bad so they're trying to invade Earth and take over. It seems like a simple plot, but the way they do this is confusing as hell. To begin with, there's that Demia project that on paper sounds amazing but when you have Igor as the head of the project it just makes for something that is really hard to watch and pay attention to because he's head-on-head with Onari trying to see who's the more annoying, and the show seems more concerned in making him have a gag with women hitting him rather than explaining what is going on with this plan. Then on top of that, we have the political/familiar drama with Alain's family that I couldn't care less because they didn't bother to explain well what goes on in this family. And it all just becomes messier when Adel gets to power and the Ganmeizers become a thing because it feels like one of those things that came out of nowhere and they're way too overpowered but they still get defeated in a regular basis somehow. And then they all become a god-like entity or something at the end, and I really don't know what to make out of this. Honestly, if you watched Ghost and understood how this progression happened please explain to me, I need answers.

I feel like I talked a lot and at the same time that I didn't write a single word. There are so many other things in this show that I want to complain, like those ridiculous possessions the Eyecons do, that random idol-centric episode, how inconsistent they are about the difficulty of getting to the Ganma world, how Alain's sister can become a rider but she just gets her ass kicked and we never see her in action again, the way Takeru's dad in so keen on putting so many responsibilities into someone who was just a kid and how they wanted to make him be a chosen one, some of the portrayals of historical figures that seem kinda offensive at some points, the excuses for power-ups, and so on and so forth. But I gotta be honest my energy is starting to run down so I think I'll wrap up here, I know there's a lot else that happens but I pretty much said everything I had to say anyway so I think I made my case and there's no reason to make this post longer than it already is.

Now I'm curious, what are your thoughts on Ghost? Do you agree? Disagree? Should I have watched the show again before making this review? Let me know in the comments. If everything goes right this week I should have the post about the Ghost movies up as well, that'll probably be better since I won't be working from my bad memory. In any case, stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so much for reading, and until the next time, see ya~

#Kamen Rider Ghost #kamen rider

[moved99999999999]

U guys wanna know what I think about that hell hotel show

I feel like twitter’s very tired of seeing ppl talk about Hazbin Hotel, so I putting my opinions on tumblr where they belong. I’m not a “professional critic” by any means, but I’ll try my best given what I know. And don’t worry, I’ll be incredibly nit-picky to suit the internet’s needs.

I’m gonna mainly focus on HH itself instead of Vivzie’s accusations because that's a WHOLE other can of worms to open.

During the time of me writing this, I haven’t watched any YT reviews, but I’ve read a few threads criticising the show, so take that as my social influence bias.

My ted talk is allllll below the cut. Enjoy~

Context: 

My first exposure of Vivzie’s work was her “Die Young” animation that I came across around 2016. Instantly I fell in love with how “smooth” and lively her animation was, and especially the fact that it was hand drawn. Animation like that was extremely rare to come by (and still is) and seeing her execute it so well with such complexed characters was amazing to my fetus self. 

A few years later and I see the first trailer for HH. I instantly went OH I RECOGNISE THAT STYLE AND THOSE CHARACTER TYPE DESIGNS and was looking forward to what it had to offer. 

On “opening day” I watched the pilot ASAP to avoid my opinions from getting warped by all of the key-mash memes and post call-out bitching (literally the extremes of the HH opinion spectrum), and overall.....

I thought it was good. 

Not ground breakingly amazing, not horrifically terrible, but charmingly good.

(Ok now it’s actual review time)

Animation Quality:

As a hand drawn animation that has the freedom to get creative with its shots, a lot of effort was clearly put into how everything moves (it definitely didn’t take any lazy flash puppet shortcuts for the main sections of the show) and I can appreciate that. However it tends to be... rather inconsistent, most likely due to the varying skill level of the animators on the project. It’ll be nice and smooth one minute, and then awkward and choppy the next which can make the viewing pretty confusing at times. I’ll be honest I found myself overlooking these inconsistencies due to the characters and backgrounds themselves being very visually engaging, especially considering how over designed some of them can be (which I applaud the team for handling cuz wow that must have been painful). However, the needle thin and exaggerated art style makes some things incredibly hard to look at. While it helps with adding fancy details, it hurts in catching peoples eyes in the right place.

It’s also chalk full of little details, visual gags, and references that are hilarious to look at if you have the luxury of pausing every two seconds (the news segment and Sir Pentious turf war w/ Angel and Cherri are good places to look). But I feel like these lil details were put in at the cost of some some continuity errors (Charlie not wearing her coat in one shot, and having it back on in the next, papers being blank, etc.) and lip-syncing issues which really shouldn’t be happening considering all of the detail they were able to put in. There are also some shots that have just SO MUCH detail put into them, only to be shown for less than a second. I get that’s the cost of animation sometimes, but save the detail for the shots that need it, because at that point you’re just causing the animators to waste their efforts.

However, I was surprised at how professional the soundtrack and editing was. Not one but THREE songs in this single episode was really surprising, and the variation and quality of each was great (as cringy as Charlie’s song is)

But overall, the production quality is surprisingly good for a project like this, the editing, sound effects, and sound track act like a cherry on top. Of course there are some noticeable drops in quality, but given time and a budget, it has enough chops to look like an actual show.

Writing: 

As far as overarching plot goes, it seems like it’s going to be one of those procedural shows that tries to be serialised, but it’s a creative twist on hell and has an interesting premise to begin with. You can get really creative with seeing how you’d dive into getting redemption out of all of these seemingly lost causes, and I’m sure there are many people willing to know the backstories our main cast. As a pilot, it did it’s job of launching the plot very well, setting up the premise of the hotel and introducing characters in a very engaging way. I was legit really interested in each segment with who in introduced, and it didn’t feel like I was being overloaded with names to remember (which can be a problem for many medias and introductions). The cohesion between each scene is VERY smooth, and I genuinely enjoyed some of the cliché cuts/gags. 

Unfortunately I can’t extend this interest to our main character. Charlie is one of the most generic tropes we’ve ever seen. She’s a boring Disney princess who has a “cute happy positive goal to change her world” and the only thing that would make her more generic is if she wore a dress and cried “I’m tired of being so privileged”. 

(Although it’s impossible to tell, I honestly think Viv is just projecting through her, especially considering how horrifically accurate the hotel’s opening mirrors the internet’s reaction to the pilot itself)

I would be more forgiving if she was a supporting character or someone less important, but she’s the freaking protagonist, arguably the character that has to be the most interesting. Angel’s personality seems to be “flirty porn star”, and while that’s just as bad as being a boring Disney princess, at least he gets a few jokes and has a profession more interesting than Charlie’s. Around the end of the pilot he just seems like he’s getting involved because Viv likes giving him attention. If he’s supposed to be leeching off of the hotel, wouldn’t not care if it survives or not?

(There’s that whole stereotype issue that everyone keeps bringing up, but I genuinely think that’s BS because people are blatantly ignoring the fact that Angel is a porn star, Vaggie is portrayed as helpful, and that the show takes place in H E double hokey sticks.)

The transitions may be smooth, but the dialogue pacing can get really awkward at times. This paired with the animation sometimes having awkward quality drops makes some movements incredibly jagged, and has some detailed shots show for incredibly unbalanced screen time as mentioned before. 

I don’t have enough to give voice acting it’s own section so I’m just popping it down here:

The voice acting is legitimately better than several big name projects I know. It’s consistent, great at expressing the character’s mood properly, and each voice fits each character perfectly. My only gripes are that Alastor and Sir Pentious tend to grain on you after awhile due to them keeping a single tone for too long. 

Character Design: AKA the only thing I have legitimate experience with.

First thing’s first. The characters are WAY too over designed. There are so many markings and accessories that are incredibly unnecessary. I think the mindset for these characters was “the more complicated and attractive the better”, which makes them look like they’re designed by an edgy tumblr artist (heck I fall for this too some times).

Especially if a character is going to be animated, you have to keep in mind the value of simplicity. You absolutely don’t have to fill in your character with markings and trinkets to make them look unique, I mean just look at the gen 1 pokemon starters. Thanks to the limitations of the game, the sprites were forced to be simple, and it was that simplicity that made them such unique and varied creatures. You can tell Blastoise is a bulky water blasting turtle just with a quick glance. 

Many of the characters suffer from over complication, but I’ll look at Husk for example. He has these stripes all over him that do not contribute to who he’s supposed to be at all, and only look like they’re added to make him more unique. The markings that DO help are the little card suite marks on his wings, because those at least infer he’s linked to a casino/gambling type of theme. I would say his outfit helps as well, but formal wear and bowties are worn way to often by the main characters, which brings me to another problem.

They may look different, but they feel way too similar. From the same skinny body type, to generic head shapes, to outfits, the focus characters just don’t stand out amongst each other. Even the ones with interesting features still suffer from feeling generic. I’d say Sir Pentious is a good example of this. He has a serpentine/naga body and clever hair style that make his concept really creative, but his skinny body type, complicated eyes all over his tail, and generic “young but supposed to be at least middle aged” face just push him back into obscurity. He’s even wearing the SAME outfit as Alastor (who's an even worse offender of that generic face problem), and unless Viv has some plan to link the two, I’d say the characters need to stop using a dress code.

A successful character design can to tell you who the character is just by looking at them. You should be able to tell if a character’s personality, function, age, the universe they belong in, and if they’re important or not, and that’s a big problem when it comes to the background characters. If you pause on one of the extras for a minute you can see all of the effort put into designing them, and that takes away so much attention from the main cast. Not only that, but they have actual variations in their body types and outfits, which makes them more intriguing than who we’re supposed to be interested in.

Regardless, this pilot has potential, and if they can get someone to comb out the flaws, you can end up with something good. No one can deny a legitimate animation was made here, and the team successfully executed the start of a story, and that’s something anyone can look up to.

TLDR: The pilot is good. It has some major flaws, but it has potential to be a good show.

If you actually read this far epstein didn’t kill himself.

#I'm only doing this cuz i wanna draw angel dust and i feel like I have to justify myself before ppl start calling me mean things #Fan art is coming ;) #hazbin hotel #HH is good yall just have a mob mentality #critique